#ive been at this for three hours and no headache so I count that as a win!! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

paroxysmal-distaste · 2 years

Text

proximity. || ch13, weird

IVE LITERALLY BEEN GONE ONLY BC IM GOING INTO UNIVERSITY IM SO SORRY HERE'S A CHAPTER UIJKRF THIS HAS BEEN SITTING IN MY DRAFTS FOR MONTHS

◬ Chapter 13 - Weird ◬ ◬ Pairing: Bill Cipher x Fem! Reader ◬ ◬ Date Published: 27/05/2019 ◬ ◬ Word Count: 5146 ◬

Sixty degrees that come in threes. Watches from within birch trees. Saw his own dimension burn. Misses home and can't return. Says he's happy. He's a liar Blame the arson for the fire. If he wants to shirk the blame, He'll have to invoke my name. One way to absolve his crime. A different form. A different time.

...

The entirety of your night was spent tossing and turning, clutching the sides of your head the same way you would if you had a headache. What you had, however, was worse.

Gaining Bill’s powers hadn’t taken a toll on you this badly. Not before, anyways. It’s like your body was allowing you to slowly digest each ability as a way of adjusting and preventing you from going into instant shock (or death) from the sudden change. Evolutionary, perhaps?

Sure, you could handle a little intangibility or teleportation, things that very much differed from your normal ‘day-to-day’ metal control or electrical generation- but last night marked the beginning of a new problem.

Every. single. hour was spent trying to ignore the cacophony of overlapping thoughts from hundreds of different people at once.

Out of both curiosity and as a way to feed your sanity, you managed to tune into the mind of a random but strange individual, probably someone only a few kilometres away from you, only to be marvelled at how disgusting and unfiltered their thoughts were.

Made sense, these were their thoughts- it’s why they’re so personal, and it’s not expected someone could involuntarily end up reading their mind anyways. In some manner, who were you to make judgements about someone in the privacy of their own head? But after hearing that man’s dialogue, you had opted for trying one last time to sleep (out of horror), forcing the multiple human voices to be hushed into white noise.

But those whispers of rhyme… what did they mean? Was it because of Bill?

Your mind drifted off to the events of yesterday.

"Na-ah-ah, doll. You didn't think I'd forget about you calling me your boyfriend, now did you?"

Ugh.

You hated the way Bill made your face glow multiple times a day. Just the very recollection made a bad taste spread across your tongue. Call it a blow to your pride or genuine embarrassment, you didn't care- all you knew was that you didn't like it.

Obviously, your embarrassment was due to his teasing and that would be fine if you had to only dabble in his presence every once in a while, like a proper friend. But he was attached to your hip. He saw every reaction he wanted and he was basically living with you at this point, so moments of embarrassment for you were as clear as day and came more often than not.

After hearing his question, you got a little defensive, turning your head from him, absolutely mortified you had just walked into a trap that will give him enough fuel to last him weeks.

“It was the first thing I thought of! What the hell did you want me to say?” It was a hoarse whisper shout at best, and your eyes flickered to the group of teenagers behind Bill.

Bill’s grin grew so incredibly wide you wanted to slap him for being so annoying. You let out harsh air through your nose as he closed his eyes lightly and tsked, shaking his head.

“Why would that be your first thought?”

You paused.

Ironically? It wasn’t actually your first thought. But still, you could’ve said he was your cousin or family member... you later realised. You chewed on your bottom lip, staring at the ground in thought.

“Doll?”

“Hm? Oh.” You tilted your head up at him, hands on your waist defiantly, “I would’ve told him we were friends but the last time I visited I told him I had no friends, so it was just a precaution. I was being paranoid.”

He snorted, “You got that right.”

You lightly smacked his arm, muttering ,"Which part," before adding, "You're really not the sort of person I'd usually be caught dead hanging out with anyways."

He quirked an eyebrow, a flicker of disdain flashing across his face so fast that it scared you.

"For someone that doesn't have any 'friends', you've got quite the mouth on you." He replied almost a little too quickly, as if he was ready to pounce at any sign of your rebellion.

"I don't have any friends because I don't want any. Sort of requiring too much effort–especially with my time spent on people I'm never going to talk to again 5 years from now. Not because of my personality or anything." You sounded unsure now, and perhaps a little insecure. Pure pure coping right now.

Friends were something you had barely stayed in contact with, but it still hurt to not have anybody checking up on you. After a while it was something you got used to, and nowadays having friends seems to be more of a burden than anything else. It didn't matter, you told yourself, you've got your work to focus on.

"Maybe that IS why you don't have any."

Your mind had already drifted into another hazy thought and the 'friend topic' was now gone. Hearing Bill's comment had actually made you falter in what the hell he was going on about this time.

"I hope you realise how bad that sounds." You replied absentmindedly, slapping a hand over your forehead and cringing when you realised what you said.

"Hm? Your mind's going there, huh?" He smoothed his hand over his opposite forearm, smiling at you with eyes half-lidded. The look would be complete if he had a cat's tail waving mischievously behind him. Or maybe the Devil's tail.

You flushed trying to cover up your mistake and backtracking, "Not like that, God." A glance from side to side and then back to Bill made you squint at him this time, "...Besides, I don't see your friends anywhere."

"I don't just keep my friends nailed to my sleeve, doll. Not anymore. They're waiting for my return in my dimension, you'll see." He smiled sleazily at you, like he knew more than you did.

God, it was annoying how he seemed to have a response for everything.

You snorted as his grin grew wider, "No but seriously doll! Last time you visited, you also hadn’t met me.” He used both hands to refer to himself proudly and raised his eyebrows like what he was saying was factual and he was just waiting for you to get it.

“Aww, what are you saying? That you do see me as your friend?” You held your hands together, and batted your eyelashes, scrunching your nose with a smile.

Bill rolled his eyes, “Unfortunately for you, doll, I’m not your boyfriend.” He diverted his attention to the teenagers talking behind the two of you, a fire lighting up inside his eyes when he settled his vision of fury on Dipper.

“Very funny. What would I know about relationships? Clearly you're the expert– pathetic me would stand no chance in the presence of Bill Cipher.” You spoke sarcastically, whispering the last part, deciding to play along mostly out of curiosity.

I mean, who could really blame you? This dream demon talked so much mad game, it would be next to impossible to not feel even an ounce of intrigue in whether or not he's actually managed to be hooked into the life of another romantically. "So tell me, have you ever been in one?" You asked boldly, gnawing on the inside of your cheek.

Bill looked away, "I don't know what you're referring to."

Your eyebrows furrowed, embarrassment beginning to creep up your neck at the question, "You... you know what I mean. Relationships."

“...I don’t like to engage in human affairs,” he huffed, turning to examine his surroundings. The action was suspiciously avoidant and you crossed your arms and tilted your head, a gleam beginning to show in your eye.

“Wait. So you’ve never-” you caught yourself as the words began to fly off your tongue and into the air.

Bill whipped his head over at you after eavesdropping at the Pines and your brother’s conversation, “What? Whaddaya mean?”

You blinked innocently.

“I mean,” you fiddled with the hem of your coat, regretting indulging into your , “You’ve… you’ve never…?”

If Bill knew what you were hinting at, he definitely didn’t show it. His face showed how perplexed he was and he nudged his head to tell you to continue. Another trap? Probably.

“Out of all the trillions of years you’ve existed, and the billions you’ve had in contact with humans, not one time, as a human… have you ever…” You avoided his gaze.

He squinted.

If he wants to play games, so can you. Ask and see his reaction. Then... gaslight gatekeep girlboss? You weren't sure, you were just curious to see what he would say if you referred to something more. Curiosity, that was it.

“Had contact with a human.”

Bill’s eyes widened, his milky one catching your glance.

Now he was getting it.

“So that’s the human affair you were referring to.”

Your own eyes widened and you frantically waved your hands side to side, partly in an attempt to see his reaction before taking it back like an absolute coward, "No, I just meant the whole relationship part! Not that intimately. Unless you wanna answer- I meant, you’ve never had a significant other before? Not even as a deal?”

Nailed it.

He stared at you as if you were slimy. “As a deal? How desperate do you think I am?”

“Not sure if you want that answered, to be frank,” you stuck your tongue out to the side as he crossed his arms and glared at you.

Bill looked like he was going to retort quickly but B/N’s voice from behind interrupted first, “Guys, I’m taking my leave now!”

Right, you had forgotten that you were conversing outside the Mystery Shack, with a couple of teenagers having their own talk a few metres away from you.

And that brought you to here, at home.

As soon as you arrived home, you dropped your body onto the couch and fell asleep. Bill must've noted this earlier because when he wrapped his arm around you to teleport the two of you home, he murmured something about your obvious eyebags.

You sniffled and didn't reply, slightly ashamed that your disgustingly unstable sleep schedule was beginning to show on your face.

When you awoke however, the last thing you expected to find was a warm thick crochet blanket you kept in the linen laid across your body. Well, across was an overstatement. It looked like someone threw the blanket in your direction and hadn't bothered to straighten it out.

It was as if the intention was there, but the effort wasn't.

You sighed, Bill.

Your toes curled as you stretched your legs and you hazily opened your eyes, blinking to unblur your vision. What you did not expect was Bill's transparent eyeball inches away from your face.

"Y'ellow."

A shrill scream left your throat and you, quite terrified, scurried your body back to lean against the couch arm rest, breathing heavily as Bill only burst into laughter and pointed at you, "You should have seen the look on your face!"

Your hand automatically went over your heart as you took a deep breath and closed your eyes, in some effort to calm down. Smacking your lips together, you clicked your tongue and looked away from him for a second, finding the words to express your annoyance.

Rubbing your eyes harshly, that's when you noticed that it was Bill floating in front of you. Not his human body, but his triangle outlined form - the same way he looked when you first met him.

You raised an eyebrow at him, "Wait, how are you- oh my God." You half screamed as your eyes trailed to the doorway, where Bill's body laid, his eyes hallowed out.

It looked like a legitimate corpse- it's mouth wide open, its soulless and limp display like... well... a puppet. Bill really has outdone himself this time and your top lip wavered, "W-what the hell did you do?!"

Bill's single eye trailed to the stiff and cold body laying on the ground in front of your room.

"Oh, that?" He pointed before flying over to it, attempting to kick it only to have his foot go through it, "Apparently these meat sacks need rest, so I figured if I just leave it for a while, I won't have to actually sleep."

You frowned, pinching the bridge of your nose. Despite his mental age, this had to be one of the stupidest logical fallacies he's ever displayed, "Bill, you still have to sleep in it. If you go back in it later, it's not going to be any less deprived of sleep than it was before. Your soul may not require the sleep, but the body does and it probably needs something to occupy it to really count as 'sleeping.'"

Bill didn't reply, but instead went back into Brendan's body, the hallow eye sockets filling with eyeballs and his skin brightening. He stood up, and dusted himself off. "Happy now?"

"Sure." You replied, letting your back hit the couch and pulling the blanket over your shoulder. "Now go away, I want to sleep some more."

"Aren't you forgetting doll? We have to go shopping for tomorrow's party! Remember the plan?" He squatted himself down in front of your body and lifted a hair strand away from your face, a gesture that made you swat away his hand.

You groaned, "Bill please, we can do that later. Just let me sl...." Your hand waving in his face caused him to gently grab your wrist and set it down, "Doll, I might just have to leave my body again if you don't get up right this second."

You sat up suddenly, "I'd rather die."

"Now that's the spirit!"

"Alright, you seem to know Gravity Falls more than I do. Where to?"

The two of you were stationed in the middle of the Gravity Falls town, with a variety of stores surrounding you. To be quite honest, it looked larger from the inside, especially with the escalators on either side of the mall indicating a second floor.

"Gravity Malls. But that place is disgusting. I don't want any old peasant streetwear. I want to look charming." Bill flashed a cheesy grin and shut his eyes, almost as if to imagine cloudy visions of paparazzi photographing him or something.

"Let me see what I have and what we can afford." You reluctantly pulled out your phone and removed three five dollar notes and a coin from its case pocket. "I have $17- nope, never mind. That is a chocolate coin."

"Think you can cover for me? I'm not very liquid right now." Bill turned his pockets inside out and a white moth flew out of it. That's how poor he was. You raised an eyebrow and blinked at him quizzically.

"What if I conjure something? I mean what good are these powers if I don't put them to use?"

Bill nodded, "As much as I hate to admit it, you are almost as strong as me, but that doesn't mean your fleshy body is." He pokes your side, "Think you're up to it, doll?"

"How hard can it be? It can't be that difficult." You stated, squirming away from his touch and looking up at him with your eyes wide.

"That's both cute and ignorant, sweets."

You laughed, shaking your head, "Well, I'm not even going so it shouldn't be a problem to only focus on your outfit."

Bill stopped and turned to you, grasping your shoulders dramatically, "What! I thought we had a mutual agreement! A deal, even."

You gently removed his hands from your shoulders and stared at him, "Bill... I don't know... I don't think it's a good idea using Old Man McGucket. I've heard he's a little wacko now. I don't doubt he's a nice man but I'm skeptical on how he could be of service to us."

"It's the best chance we've got! You do want this portal completed, don't you?"

"Yeah, but what am I going to say? 'Hey, can you help me assemble a portal leading to another dimension?'" You asked rhetorically in a dumb and mocking voice, Bill rolling your eyes at your lack of confidence in him.

"You need this just as much as I do, you just gotta confide in my ability to sway others. It worked on you, didn't it?"

"You KNOW that's not true. I only agreed because we both mutually benefit from ridding me of your insane powers." You walked ahead of him as the two of you strode through the double doors of Gravity Malls.

"That's how it always starts, doll. That's how it aaaaalways starts." He jogged a little to keep up with you and you only rolled your eyes at his mindless comments.

"Oh you shush," you put your hand on his face and pushed aside, Bill spluttering at your sudden contact to his delicate features, as he would call them.

"Hands off. Besides, I'll do the talking. I just want you to fancy up a little! You're too... high strung."

"So those are your true intentions." You bit your lip, "The whole thing just seems weird to me- it's not really my... scene. Usually it's me, my work and I. What the hell do I know about a masquerade ball? Which is, super old fashioned by the way." Waving your arms about, you ultimately stopped your movement outside of a store called 'Edgy on Purpose' and spun around for his reply.

"Come on, sugar?" He neared you, licking his top lip, "For me?" The new nickname made your eye twitch.

"You just gave me even more of a reason not to do it." Honestly, this whole event seemed really intriguing and maybe a little fun, but with your lack of sociability, you did not want to fumble, especially in front of Bill.

Bill groaned, rubbing his temples indecisively. Wow, he was the fed up one?

"Okay, then please? For you? You gotta live a little, ya know? Otherwise you'll never have those friends you always complain about not existing."

You groaned, eyes shut and in deep thought, crossing your arms and tilting your head to the side.

Maybe there's no harm in it.

"Letting that slide. But... alright. I'll go." Your lips were pulled taut into a straight line, but it was to hide the smile that you knew so well that Bill would eat up. Surprisingly, as soon as you uncrossed your arm, Bill grinned and pulled you into a hug, catching you, (and probably anyone, since its Bill) off guard. You tensed, your arms stiff and set on your sides. Honestly you would've hugged him back if you weren't so dumbfounded.

"You won't regret it." He said, suddenly realising what he was doing and pulling away, patting your back roughly and brushing off his shoulder. Had to be one of the most out of character actions from Bill, so much so that you questioned if maybe someone else had possessed this body for a second. He seemed more indulged in his own reaction to even begin to notice the warm glow emitting from your cheeks, something you slapped yourself in the face lightly for feeling.

"I-I hope so," you mustered weakly.

"Right, so because you're new to this, we should find ourselves a more basic version of our outfits. A base, if you will. Something that just matches the colour."

"Have anything in mind?" You questioned.

Bill tapped his chin in fake thought, "Tell me if you get the picture, doll." He suddenly grabbed the back of your head and pulled it towards his own, your foreheads just barely connecting. He shut his eyes, almost as if he was getting you to read his mind.

On cue, you felt an image manifest itself in your brain and as it grew clearer, you realised what it was. "Woah, that's kind of cool," you breathed, more about the mind connection than anything else.

Yellow, almost a gold shimmering tailcoat, with black sleeves, gloves and tailored pants. That was Bill's idea? Sure.

You cocked your head but didn't say anything particular about it, "Guess we'll need a yellow shirt and black jeans." The two of you walked into Edgy on Purpose and awkwardly went on the look out for what you needed.

After picking the two articles of clothing off of the nearest rack, Bill suddenly spun around, almost causing you to trip over, "What colour dress are you going for, doll?"

Right, you were attending too, you almost forgot. You shrugged, "I don't usually do this so I don't really know where to start. Any pointers?"

Bill scanned the store, eyes squinted before pausing. He walked over to a rack, pulled a summer dress off and held it up for you to see.

"How bout it, doll?" He waved the dress at you and wagged his eyebrows in a silly manner, seemingly proud of the choice he made upon seeing the broad grin forming on your face.

Your fingers rubbed at the end of the dress, feeling for the fabric's quality. "Wait- how did you know F/C was my favourite colour?"

"How did I know that you talk in your sleep?" Bill's own smile disappeared almost as fast as it appeared and he lowered the dress, "Who's Oliver?"

You gaped like a fish, "E-excuse me?"

One hand on his hip showed how much he was demanding an answer for someone who should not be in any place to be asking invasive questions, "You heard me, doll, who is this 'Oliver' character ?"

The phrasing of his question was enough to make you giggled but you relented with the pressing question of: how does he know about your ex?!

"Were you- did you- You watched me sleep!?"

"Yes. Who's Oliver?"

You turned away, both embarrassed and irritated, "No one, just an old flame."

Bill waved his hand up and down, as if to signal you to keep talking. You squinted your eyes, "I heard he lives here now, so I don't know... I was thinking about him for a bit. That's probably why I dreamed about him briefly."

Bill looked at you, very annoyed, "Why didn't you mention it before?"

You swung around, shocked that he would say that. "Why would I? It's not really something I would bring up. To be frank, I didn't think even you cared that much about my personal life unless it benefitted you. Am I wrong?"

Bill frowned, not knowing what to say.

The feeling bubbling up in your chest hurt a little, and you weren't sure if it was the sudden mention of Oliver's name all over again or Bill's reaction that made you feel so sick.

"It's not really an experience I'd like to detail again."

"My mistake, doll."

"Its... whatever, let me pay for these." You snatched the dress from his hand and walked a few metres to the cash register, leaving Bill stunned. He wiggled his fingers as his arm was bent and held close to his torso, unsure of how to approach you next.

You exhaled, passing your clothing items to the cashier. She looked at you slyly, "How long have you two been together?"

Your eyes shot up, clear contempt swirling within them, almost as if to challenge her to continue, "Sorry?"

The guilt would come later for how rude you were being, it just seemed like the world kept throwing hints at you about Bill– and you had no idea how to take it.

The cashier looked taken aback by the emotion in your pupils before she pushed her lips up in the direction of Bill, "Him. That man, you two were arguing about something. You just looked like you were a couple and I was going to offer a piece of advice."

"Urm, what makes you say that?" You asked, feeling slightly uncomfortable as you took out your money from your phone case.

The cashier trained her eyes on him, "The way he looks at you."

You turned around, only to make eye contact with Bill. His pursed lips turned in a smile. You immediately felt bad now for your previous reaction.

"Thanks." You mumbled, taking your bag with newly bought items, walking to Bill and dragging him by the hand.

Bill visibly brightened at this, "Getting touchy already?"

Weird. He said 'hands off' not long ago. I guess he doesn't like anything in his face.

Aaand you're overthinking again.

You shook your head dismissively, pressing your lips together, "No, the cashier was just... being weird." You let go of his hand at the mention of it, and wiped it against your coat.

Bill fake pouted.

"Let's go home. We've got some party outfits to make."

“The answer is yes, doll.”

“Hm?” You tweaked your head to catch Bill laying on the couch, book in hand. No idea where it came from, since it wasn’t yours- but he didn’t seem morally grounded enough to not commit petty theft, so you settled on that.

“You asked me earlier if I’ve had… that human contact.” He gave you a side glance.

Your eyes nearly bulged out of their head, “Oh-! But... but I thought you said you didn’t engage in human affairs. I guess, unless it benefits you?” You sat up from your own seat, shifting to make yourself comfortable for this conversation.

Seated where you were, you had been laying the newly bought clothes on the table and dressing them on a mannequin, with a lot of struggle.

Bill obviously didn't help, so it was mostly silent with the two of you basking in each other's company. That is, until Bill randomly spoke.

“I said I didn’t like to engage, not that I didn’t.” He snapped, shutting his book and mirroring you, staring across the room mindfully.

You watched his jaw clench, “You know, if the topic makes you uncomfortable, we don’t have to-“

“Don’t patronise me.”

You gulped, looking away and tucking your legs beneath your chest. Bill cast a glare towards you before sighing, “It wasn’t part of a deal, like you said. But I had to persuade some people my own way. Sometimes the situation called for it, and a demons’ gotta do what a demons’ gotta do.” You didn’t miss the glimpse he gave you to gauge your response and you tightened your lips.

“Well," you paused, "...It sounds like a very regrettable stage in your life.”

“It was- is. Having to associate with meat sacks in that manner, doll- it was torture. Not in the pleasant kind either. It was…” he wiggled his fingers, staring deeply at them like they held a secret.

“Wait, are we talking about the same thing? How… how far did you go?” The lump in your throat demonstrated how unfamiliar you found discussing a topic you weren't experienced in. Luckily, Bill was on the other spectrum- knowledge truly was a curse at times.

However, it was because you were inexperienced that hearing about a demon's own form of affection appeared so interesting.

“You know… the act where humans press their lips on each other? Just the very thought of it makes me want to flip myself inside out.” He was somewhat like a child- all this intimate conversation disgusted him.

“A kiss?”

“Gah, I know what it is, I’m not 1 billion.”

“Well what else do you want me to call it? Because that’s what it is- it’s kissing. Generally it’s not that unpleasant, so I think you might’ve just been kissing the wrong people.” You crossed your arms, ignoring the nudge in your skull saying, What do you know? You've only kissed like two guys. Not even.

“What? And you know?” He sounded disgusted, and you furrowed your brows, sulking.

“Uh, yeah- I’m human?”

“Right right, sorry doll. I had forgotten you and Oliver probably got it on many times over.” He air quotes you with his fingers, a resentful scowl growing on his face.

The mention of his name again in a private setting versus a public one like the mall made you unbelievably upset, “Hey- don’t… don’t say that.”

“Look what this stupid vessel is doing to me. I’m becoming more human! I'm... feeling... things. It's dreadful." Bill stared at you, like you were the source of his problems, "Doll, all the more reason to hurry this up so we can go our separate ways." He suddenly stood up and began to leave the room, riling up your emotions more, "Hey! Running away never solved anything! It's cowardly!" You bit your lip, regretting that last part.

He stopped walking and eerily turned his head over at you, "Not wanting to engage in pathetic chatter with a proletarian isn't cowardly. It's self preserving."

You stared at him, amazed at his sudden cruelty while he just scoffed and continued to walk away. A sigh escaped your lips. With Bill? It's always 3 steps forward and 10 million microsteps back. He brought up the topic too!!

Progress with Bill was almost impossible, but to say you hadn't seen a change in his behaviour towards you for the past few days, would've been a total lie. Now it looks like that had all unravelled. What had happened? What did you do wrong? Maybe he was right, maybe he was turning more human. You hoped it wasn't something that ignited from you.

Maybe that's why he surprised you when you were napping with his translucent form. He tried to cover up his reasoning with his twisted humour in seeing you frightened at the corpse-like appearance of Brendan laying on the floor, hollow and lifeless.

Bill knew you were going to see it at one point so he might as well have called attention to it himself and explained it.

It meant-

It meant that that little sneak was lying. He didn't leave Brendan's body so he didn't have to sleep in it. He's not stupid- Bill should know that leaving a body doesn't suddenly make it replenish itself.

Suddenly, it occurred to you why.

He left it because he could feel himself becoming more human.

So he was trying to spend some time in his normal default form because he probably felt himself getting carried away with his mind conforming to how a human brain thinks.

To how a human brain feels.

He probably felt scared. Embarrassed, even. He was changing into something he wasn't comfortable with.

Bill was slowly becoming more and more human, and you weren't what you could do about it.

taglist: @spilled-mi1k | @crystalsdoodles | @kenryug | @bones-baggins

If you want to be removed or added to my taglist, send me a pm for which story!

If you don't see your name here, it's likely that I can't tag you!

#paroxysmal #x reader #bill cipher x reader #gravity falls x reader #bill cipher #gravity falls #proximity #paroxysmal.proximity #paroxysmal.fics #paroxysmal distaste

181 notes · View notes

surveysonfleek · 2 years

Text

1646.

Have you ever eaten a Big Mac? yes

Do you currently have a job? no, i quit two weeks ago. i was paid out 9 weeks of pay so ive been relaxing but also applying for jobs in the meantime

Are you engaged right now? yes

How old will you be next Christmas? older, thats for sure :(

What brand is your vacuum cleaner? dyson

How often do you shower? everyday

How many surveys have you taken so far on here? 1646

Could you win a staring contest with someone? i could if i really wanted to, id just keep my eyes open until i cry aha

Name the last video game you’ve played. probably rdr2

Have you ever watched “The Price is Right?” yes

Who is your best friend? my fiance

Do you believe in sex before marriage? yeah

What bothers you about the people of today? theres a lot of people with no respect

Have you ever smoked marijuana? yes

How high can you count without losing your place? ill get bored after 20 tbh

Where was your favorite hangout as a kid? the lake

Name one memory you miss. traveling a lot! and working hard because i had something to look forward to

What’s your favorite girl’s name? sierra

Who are you currently living with? my mum and sis

Can you type fast? yes

What’s your favorite pizza topping? meat lovers

Do you feel like you need to lose weight? yup

Is summer your favorite season? i hate summer. def not

Which sport do you suck at the most? i would suck at everything lol. i think waterpolo would be super hard though

Are you close with your cousins? to two of them

Are you good at rapping? hell no lol

How often do you go to church? once a year

Do you feel like you’re judged for your looks? yes

Are you a parent? no

Do you wear glasses? i sure do

Name someone who has changed your life for the better. my fiance, i couldnt imagine it without him as cheesy as that sounds

Do taking tests make you nervous? yea

What do you want as a career for the future? i have no idea!

Can you say the alphabet in more than one language? nope

Who was the last person you talked to? my fiance

Do you and your friends have a secret handshake? me and my fiance do haha

Do you eat three meals a day? for the most part

What do you want out of life? happiness, family and making memories

Do you ever tend to think too deeply? yes haha

Name one world issue that upsets you. racism

Do you ever feel like your friends are ditching you? nope, im at the age where i no longer get fomo

Where’s the last fast food place you’ve eaten at? mcdonalds

Do you know anyone named Sue? no

Do you like Wendy’s frosties? never tried it :(

How long of a drive are you from California? im a plane ride away

What time is it right now? 11:31pm

What are you going to do after taking this survey? watch below deck

When’s the last time you’ve had a headache? like two days ago

Do you ever get carsick? rarely but its happened

Name your favorite cartoon. the simpsons, sailor moon, arthur and rugrats (as a kid)

How long can you go without sleeping? lol like 20 hours maybe

Do you groom your eyebrows? yes

How do you feel about tanning? i love being tanned! id love to be naturally tanned but i know ill always have tan lines so i dont mind fake tanning every once in awhile

Do you sleep in pajamas? always

#survey #surveys #quiz #bored #questions

3 notes · View notes

roxiestranger19 · 1 year

Text

The Laundromat

(a little thing i wrote using made up characters- inspired by all the gym girlies on my feed)

The bell rang and my eyes shot up from my dark corner of the floor, lit only by the Walmart sign across the road, to see none other than Reid Parker walk through the door. When Taylor said I could come in after the closing time to do my laundry, I assumed I would be the only one here but apparently not.

“‘Sup dude, Taylor let you in too?” Reid asks. I roll my eyes so far in the back of my head that I think I gave myself a headache.

“Yeah, he did. I thought I had exclusive access.”

“Oh, it’s you.” He opens a washer and dumps in way too many clothes. “How do you know him?”

“The gym.”

“You go to the gym?” He asks.

“Yes, I do, actually.” I smile sarcastically and go back to my phone.

“Okay, geez,” He closes the lid and leans against the machine. “Maybe if you wore anything other than baggy sweatshirts and sweatpants I’d be able to tell.”

“Yeah, I dont wear clothes to please men so, sorry to disappoint.” He clicks his tongue.

“Did your girlfriend break up with you or something?” I glare at him with murder behind my eyes. What did he just say?

“First of all, I'm straight, and second, I don’t remember asking for your opinion.” He looks a bit stunned and I eternally praise myself for my amazing comeback.

“Ain’t no way you’re straight.”

“Why are you questioning my own sexuality?” I ask.

“Because literally everyone thinks you’re a lesbian.” I think he thought that that would surprise me but I’ve been told that I’m gay since eighth grade and Ive given up on correcting people, except for this time. I dont mind being compared to lesbians. I'm ashamed to be attracted to men.

“Okay, and?”

“Doesn’t that bother you?” He asks.

“Not really.” I go back to scrolling through TikTok.

“Then why do you dress like a guy?” I throw my head back and groan.

“Why do you care?”

“Because. Don’t you wanna show off all your hard work?”

“I don't, actually,” I say.

“I’m just saying.” He turns around and unscrews the detergent lid, “If I went to the gym enough to know Taylor, which I do, I’d show off.” I cringe at the excessive amount of detergent he pours on top of the mountain of clothes.

“I'm not an attention seeker like you are.” I glance up at him.

“Being proud of yourself is different than doing it for attention.” He lets the lid fall closed, creating a loud bang that resonates through the empty Laundromat.

“Whatever,” I mumble. I don't want to talk to him anymore. There have been a few times where I want to literally flex on everyone, show the people what I do five times a week, but I haven't worn short sleeves in almost three years. Besides my ex, Isaac, no one has seen my arms. I don't know why I make it such a big deal. I got nothing but compliments from him. If I didn't care from the beginning then I wouldn’t have anything to be scared of now. I blame it on not wanting the attention or experiencing the terrible feeling of everyone looking at me, but I think it’s starting to become deeper than that. I check my timer and there’s still twenty minutes left. Reid has been counting coins for way too long and I think I saw him squinting to see the numbers engraved on a coin that I can tell is a quarter from all the way across the room. He finally puts it in the machine and sits on top of it.

“So what brings you here at this fine hour?” he asks. While slightly less annoyed now that I've had a few moments of silence, his presence still irks me.

“Peace and quiet and no ones gonna throw out my shit to put theirs in,” I say.

“Those people are the worst.” He’s definitely one of those people. “So…,” he looks around, “the whole gym thing.”

“No more questions.”

“What’s your squat PR?”

“I’m not doing this.”

“Whatever, mine's definitely higher,” he brags. Oh, please. His ass is way flatter than mine.

“I dont care.” I dig around for my headphones and put them on, a universal sign that I do not want to talk. I turn on my Rihanna playlist and close my eyes. One minute into “Pon de Replay” I feel something hard hit my face. “What the fuck!” I yell, pulling my headphones off. A penny. Reid threw a penny directly at my forehead and doesnt look in the least bit sorry.

“I'm bored,” he smirks.

“How the hell is that my problem?” I throw the penny back at him but it hits the washer instead and flies in an unknown direction.

“Excellent aim.”

“Shut up.” I put my headphones back on and watch him slide off the washer. His mouth is moving but I can't hear a word he’s saying. “I can’t hear you!” I yell, closing my eyes. Just as I think he has given up I have the feeling that I'm being watched. I slowly open my eyes to find him standing right in front of me, scaring me shitless. “Jesus Christ!” I clutch my heart. He’s bent over laughing. I take my headphones off again.

“I was standing there for a solid minute before you noticed,” he says breathlessly.

“Stop laughing at me.”

“Only if you do something for me.” I can see the gears turning in his head.

“Do you not have a phone or something else to entertain yourself with?”

“Nope.” He sits down criss crossed. God this man is a child. My ten year old cousin is less annoying.

“Well stop harassing me.” I put my headphones back in my bag.

“What are you going to do about it?” He challenges. I dont have the energy to do anything and I don't know what he wants from me.

“I'll do anything that will make you leave me alone.” I immediately regret what I just said.

“Anything?” His eyebrows raise.

“No, not anything. Just, what do you want?” He faces me head on and looks me dead in the eye.

“I want you to take off your clothes and post a picture of yourself without wearing that hoodie.” I feel my face heat up and I'm grateful that neither of us bothered to turn the lights on when we came in. I shake my head.

“Absolutely not.”

“Why?”

“Because I haven’t posted on my instagram since freshman year of high school and im not undressing in front of you,” I say. He scoffs.

“Isn’t your account private? Barely any people would see plus, I can’t see shit in here.”

“The point is, I'm not doing it.” I can’t believe he would even ask me to do that. It may not be a big deal to other people but it is to me. Thirst traps are embarrassing and he can definitely still see shapes in here which is already more than what I want him to see. He rolls his eyes.

“Are you embarrassed or something?” he asks.

“What? No!” I’m not. My body is the thing I'm most proud of and I want to keep it to myself.

“Then what is going on?” I breathe in deeply.

“I just don't want to post the pictures.”

“So you’d do it?” He perks up.

“No!”

“C’mon please?” he begs.

“No means no.” He groans dramatically, dragging his hands down his face.

“Don’t give me that. What if I did something for you?” My interest is peaked.

“Like what?”

“I’ll get Taylor to lower your membership cost,” he says. That would lower my stress a lot. Sure I could go to the school’s gym, but it's always super busy at the times that I like and I wouldn’t be able to do my laundry at night.

“How do I know if he’ll do it?” I ask. I’m disappointed in myself for even considering it.

“You gotta trust me,” he says. Yeah that’s a no. “You know Taylor would definitely let you in for free. I’m surprised he doesn't already.” He has a point. Taylor isn’t past doing illegal shit. The man’s a drug dealer for christ sake and he tells people how to break into a Laundromat that he doesn't even work at anymore. This is the only reason why I agree. I trust Taylor, not Reid.

“Fine I’ll take the pictures but I’m not posting them.”

“Hey–,” he starts.

“And you better talk to Taylor or I’ll get your friends to send your embarrassing pictures to the barstool account.”

“Okay, okay. I will.” He starts to stand.

“Help me up.” I hold out my arm and he grabs and pulls so hard that I think he pulled it out. “Ow, bitch!” I yell and punch him in the shoulder. He stumbles back and I shake out my hand.

“I cannot wait to see the muscles that were responsible for that.” He holds his shoulder. I roll my eyes but internally, I’m freaking the fuck out. I’ve never been this scared.

“Turn around,” I tell Reid.

“I literally can barely see you right now.”

“Do you want me to do this or not?” I ask. He stares at me in silence.

“Fine,” he agrees and turns around. My stomach flips and I definitely shouldn’t have eaten that Taco Bell. I take two deep breaths and pull my crew neck over my head. Thank god I wore one of my better sports bras today.

“Uhh, it’s off,” I say. He starts turning around and I quickly cover myself with my shirt. He looks me up and down and my anxiety spikes. I wish I could see his face but he’s facing away from the windows and he’s right, all I can see are shapes.

“You're gonna need to drop the shirt for the picture anyway so might as well do it now,” he says. I slowly lower my arms, feeling more and more exposed every second. I throw my shirt onto my backpack and stare right at him. His eyes rake over my chest and stomach, making a shiver run through me. “Damn, Izzy,” he steps back, “Your abs are more defined than mine are.” I blush. I feel like the worst feminist on the planet. I’m not supposed to give in to male validation, but it feels so good.

“Just take the damn pictures, Reid.” He shakes his head and gets out his phone. “No,” I stop him and hand him my phone instead. “Use mine. I don't want you to send them to anyone.”

“I wasn’t going to.”

“Uh huh.” I nod. “Right.”

“I wont. Now stand by the washers where the blue light is,” he directs. I move past him, next to the only row of washers that are lit.

“Tell me what to do.” I say. He clears his throat.

“Turn around and do the basic flexing pose.” I hold up my arms and flex, showing off my arms and my back. I know it looks good because I take my own pictures that I have buried in the depths of my laptop. I have so many folders that it would take someone ages to find them. “The lighting is cool as fuck. You might need to take pictures of me next,” he says.

“I'm not doing that.” I turn over my shoulder to catch his gaze. “What’s next?”

“Um, sit on the washer and lean back.” I slouch down so my butt is on the edge of the washer and lean back on one arm. He squats down to get a low angle. “Jesus. How many pull ups can you do?” I can see him spamming my camera. I sit up straight with my hands gripping the edge of the washer.

“How many can you do?” I ask. He steps closer to me.

“I asked you first.” His features are illuminated by the light and I don't feel exposed anymore. I think I kind of like this.

“Guess,” I challenge.

“I’m not going to guess.” He takes another step towards me, sets my phone down behind me, and puts his hands next to mine on the washer. His eyes never leave mine and all I’d have to do for him to be close enough to kiss me is open my legs, but I don’t.

“Why?”

“Because I don't want to guess wrong and be accused of underestimating you.” he says sincerely. My heart flips in my chest.

“Do you want me to flex again so you can make a more accurate judgement?” I tease.

“Yes,” he breathes. I adjust my hair and flex at the same time and then put my hands on his shoulders. I feel him tense beneath me and his breath hitches. “I'm guessing 10.”

“14,” I correct, “But I haven't done them in a while.”

“Impressive.”

“Thanks.” The blue light makes his jaw look super sharp and I can just barely make out a faint dusting of freckles on his nose. His gaze flickers to my lips and back up to my eyes and heat rises in my body. My mind doesn't want me to kiss him but my body clearly does. His hands move to my thighs, slowly spreading them apart so he can get closer to me and I let him. My body has never burned as much as it is for him right now. He starts leaning in and I close my eyes, waiting for his lips to touch mine but then my alarm blares loudly behind me and I jump.

“Goddamnit,” he says, jumping back. I reach behind me and frantically tap the screen to get the alarm to shut off.

“I should, um,” I stammer, pointing behind him at the dryers.

“Oh, uh, yeah.” He moves to the side and I slide off the washer, not daring to look at him. Neither of us say a word as I pile my clothes into my laundry bag and walk over to my things. I curse at myself while putting my hoodie back on. I almost kissed him. I almost kissed Reid Parker, and I wanted to too. He’s still standing in the same spot when I go back to grab my phone.

“Um, i'm gonna go,” I say, turning towards the door.

“Yeah, ok. I gotta stay here, so.” He hoists himself onto his own washer.

“Ill see you,” I say, immediately cringing. I open the door and walk back to my dorm. What the hell just happened?

#this is random but i really like this #oneshot #drabble #fluff #a bit spicy #not ever sure i can advertise spicyness #creative writing

1 note · View note

rosierin · 2 years

Text

Who survives? ○△□

=> Haikyuu edition

fandoms; haikyuu x squid game

warnings; violence, death, blood, vomitting, swearing, trauma

includes; many

<= previous, honeycomb

=> next, tug of war

a/n: i really struggled writing this one so tis a little late

just a heads-up, i tried mixing the scenarios up depending on the team, that's why some will focus more on the bloodbath itself, while others will focus more on before the bloodbath, such as their feelings towards the games, how they mourn their losses..etc

i did this mainly so you, as a reader, wouldn't get bored, but also partly for myself! i like variety when i write and i felt like writing 40 sth fight scenes would get a little redundant

oh also, some characters ive decided to put into one, since their stories are very much intertwined

anywho enough rambling, here's part three!

For the sake of this AU I'm pretending that the characters know nobody except those within their respective volleyball team.

NIGHT 2 : THE PURGE

Karasuno;

Player 001 (Daichi).

Player 002 (Sugawara), eliminated.

If there was something Karasuno had learned about the second night, it was that nobody was safe.

It served as a reality check, cutting through any sense of complacency that may grow in the off-hours. So far, while the players have been in the massive dorm, they’ve gotten a break from the fear of being killed. But there are no breaks; a gruesome murder led by player 101, if Suga recalls correctly, revealed that no matter how a player dies— on the game floor or in the dorm, by a guard’s gun or a player’s hands— their death counted toward the cash total. When that became known, it was like a whole new feature had been added to the game and all of a sudden, it was like the whole room reeked of predatory instinct, of the urge to kill.

"Please help the others. You can all make it out alive. I trust you."

Daichi's words haunt Suga's mind, etched to the back of his brain like a headache he can't shake off. Keeping his word had never been an issue beforehand, but this time, he fears this might be a promise he cannot keep. One glance around the room and it was easy to tell who the easy pickings would be; the girls, the young, the old, the scrawny— the weak. And although on the court Karasuno were considered a powerful opponent, here, on the battlefield, they wouldn't stand a chance.

If only Nishinoya and Tanaka were here, if there were anyone on the team with more of a fighting drive, it was them. Even Asahi, albeit being as gentle as can be, would've most likely held his own. And Daichi... If only he were here to speak the right words, lead their team in the right direction.

Alas, those thoughts were nothing but pointless endeavours. The fact of the matter was that their captain was gone, and now that role was up to Suga.

No pressure.

Player 003 (Asahi).

Player 007 (Kiyoko) & Player 006 (Yachi), passed.

Kiyoko would love to say that she could protect Yachi no matter what. However, she's also smart, she knows where her abilities lie, and unfortunately combat isn't one of them. She's seen the people she shared the stadium with, and most of them were men, some almost two feet taller than her and definitely packed more of a punch that her frail arms could. Therefore, she resorts to the only thing she could think of; hiding. She grabs Yachi and urges her to slip under the beds. Yachi doesn't seem too convinced at first but she too knows that this is the only thing they could do. Once hidden, they huddles together, Yachi small in Kiyoko's embrace, and together they pray that they make it through the night.

Player 005 (Tanaka).

Player 004 (Nishinoya).

Player 011 (Tsukishima) & Player 012 (Yamaguchi), passed.

Before lights out, Suga had suggested staying in a group— safety in numbers and all, but he should've known that things never went to plan.

Come lights out, it barely takes five minutes before first blood, the entire dormitory turning into a vicious onslaught. Screaming fills the space, pleas of mercy and cries for help falling on deaf ears. Yamaguchi and Tsukishima manage to find each other in the darkness, however save for themselves, the rest of the team is nowhere to be seen.

In a moment of panic, Tsukishima urges that they stay back to back to protect their blind spots, the flickering lights doing little to aid their escape. Yamaguchi stutters out Tsukki's name a few times, asking what to do next, but even Tsukishima, as smart and reliable as he may be, finds himself at a loss.

It's a ridiculous sight to behold, Tsukishima thinks— two boys caught amidst a bloodbath, frozen in place like deers caught in headlights. Strength had never been Tsukishima's forte, but never in a million years had he imagined that he'd be paying for the consequences like this.

He's only roused from his bitter thoughts when Yamaguchi cries Tsukishima's name and before he knows it, he's caught in a headlock. His eyes go wide, mouth agape as the arm wrapped around his throat blocks out any pleas he may think to articulate. In a desperate attempt to survive, Tsukishima tries clawing at his attacker, but it's not enough to successfully pry away their hold. It's too late, he thinks—

This is where it ends.

Around him it's like the world's come to a standstill, what's left of his conscience barely registering the almost seizure-inducing lights, nor the sounds of violence that once made his head spin. Now, all he sees is darkness as his eyes roll back into his skull, the arms of death open and awaiting his fall.

But the embrace never comes.

Instead, he falls to his knees, breathless and confused, the grip of his attacker no longer around his neck. Before him, a wide-eyed and shaking Yamaguchi, clutching what appears to be a metal pole.

Then, the lights come on.

There's a clinking sound as Yamaguchi drops his weapon, and only now does Tsukishima realise he's drenched with blood. Incoherent babbling falls from the freckled boy's lips, a jumbled mix of apologies and 'i didn't have a choice' as he takes a few cautious steps towards the blond, like he's afraid of what he'd think.

"It's not your fault," Tsukishima says, his words finally pushing Yamaguchi over the edge. He throws himself into his arms, sobbing mournfully and when words fail him, Tsukishima pulls him into a hug, rocking him, comforting him, and in a moment's release, finally allows days of pent up trauma and frustration run endlessly down his cheeks.

Player 009 (Kageyama), passed.

Kageyama rather play the honeycomb game ten times over than be responsible for the death of another. If he can help it, he wants to come out of this night with no blood on his hands, preferably counting on his speed and stamina to survive the inevitable bloodbath.

Come bedtime, he and Hinata discuss their plan of action, only to come to the realisation that they both pretty much came to the same conclusion: no killing, just surviving. And so, they make a promise to each other—

No mess-ups, no murder, no mourners. They'll see each other in the morning.

Player 010 (Hinata), passed.

After the promise he made with Kageyama, Hinata got the determination boost he needed in order to make it through the night.

He's fast, he's agile and light on his feet so he's able to easily evade most of the violence. Not to mention his... Smaller stature allowed him to deftly navigate the stadium while avoiding all the crazy mobs who were thirsty for blood. Occasionally he'd take refuge under a bed, other times he'd just fly around the stadium, giving no one the opportunity to catch up with him. Then, before he knew it, the lights were back on. His first instinct was to scan the room for Kageyama but when his eyes landed on a familiar grey-haired boy sprawled out in the center of the dormitory instead, he falters.

Suga.

Aoba Johsai;

Player 008 (Oikawa), passed.

Though his friends deaths had left a deep scar on Oikawa's heart and a massive wound to his sense of leadership, deep down he knew that he needed to move on, if not for him then for the sake of those who still stood beside him. The purge that was going to unfold later that night only highlighted that sentiment, that along with Iwaizumi's plea that the team needed their captain to be in full form if it meant making it through the night.

It took Oikawa by surprise, seeing his childhood friend act so open and vulnerable about wanting their leader back, and although former Oikawa would've jested him for it, this Oikawa couldn't find it in him to joke around and simply nodded as he and his teammates began to come up with some sort of plan.

Nobody on the team seemed opposed to resorting to offense if need be, each of them knowing that come nightfall, getting their hands dirty was most likely going to be inevitable if it meant guaranteeing their own survival. Which they would, this time. Nobody gets left behind.

Player 013 (Iwaizumi), passed.

Iwaizumi never begs, but after Player 101 brutally murdered another player, Iwaizumi knew something bad was about to unfold and he could sense how the rest of the team had grown restless without their former captain to keep them afloat. As for Iwaizumi, he just wanted to get his best friend back. Relief washed over him like a tsunami when Oikawa finally decided to rejoin the team, elated that he'd come back to his senses and would help him shoulder the responsibility of protecting the team.

They were in the middle of discussing tactics when another player walked up to them— number 045. He claimed to have joined the game by himself, which Kunimi pointed out as true, as he had never seen him interact with any of the other players during their time here.

Oikawa and Iwaizumi gave each other a side glance before the latter asked what he could contribute to the team if they were to accept. He seemed earnest with his answer, explaining that before joining he had been taking classes above his grade and was known for being an all around athletic person.

At this, Iwaizumi pursed his lips, convinced but waiting for Oikawa to give him a definitive answer. When he accepted, the man bowed politely and sat among their circle.

It couldn't hurt having another addition to the team, Iwaizumi thought. And with that they resumed their discussion.

Player 014 (Matsukawa).

Player 015 (Hanamaki).

Player 020 (Yahaba), eliminated.

Yahaba was feeling confident once the team's tactics had been fully gone over. They were all strong members: smart, quick thinkers, not to mention with Player 045 added to the mix, their chances of survival seemed pretty high. Needless to say he felt far more secure knowing his friends had his back this time, unlike in the previous games where he had to purely fend for himself. However, there's a saying that goes: "overconfidence precedes carelessness", and Yahaba embodied that saying come curfew.

It happened in a blur, the figures of faceless men running their way, ambushing them from every corner until each member had somebody they needed to fend off. The man before Yahaba is significantly taller than him and he barely has time to react before there's hands around throat, strong and unforgiving. His feet leave the ground as he chokes and splutters for air. He can hear his teammates call out his name as oxygen's slowly being cut off from his lungs, the pressure around his neck growing harsher the more he tries to pry the man off. His eyes are wet with tears when he realises his time is up, his arms going limp by his sides as the last of his strength leaves his body, until eventually his body has nothing else to give and crumbles to the ground in a lifeless pile.

Player 016 (Kunimi), eliminated.

He watches as the whole thing unravels before him, eyes filled with horror as he watches his senior's lifeless body hit the floor. His first reflex is to run for his life. There was no other option, not with the upperclassmen occupied— alone, he didn't stand a chance. And so his mind is made— he makes a run for it, weaving past the attackers all while trying to navigate through the darkness. His mind is in overdrive as he focuses souly on his own survival, the adrenaline in his veins distracting him from the guilt of having to leave his teammates behind. Whether or not what comes next is payback, he doesn't know, but the swift blow to his head gives him little to no time to think it through. The attack takes him by surprise as his opponents throw him onto the ground. He barely has time to catch his breath before one of the men lands another kick to his stomach, then his ribs, then his head. And the onslaught goes on while Kunimi curls in on himself, wailing and wheezing for air until he's no longer able to catch his breath.

Player 017 (Kindaichi).

Player 018 (Watari).

Player 019 (Kyoutani), eliminated.

There's no describing the sheer rage that washes over Kyoutani, his heart tearing into pieces at the sight of his dead teammate. He watches, stunned, the man he'd just taken down lying lifelessly by his feet, unable to fully process the loss of yet another teammate. What he does feel is the way his skin burns, how his heart roars with the need to avenge him. Within a second the flame he'd been so carefully trying to contain goes wild, burning more ardently than it ever had before. He can barely process the actions he commits next, like his body is in autopilot with no way of preventing it. He's grabbing hold of Yahaba's murderer, eyes wild and bulging as he throws him to the floor, and even then, he's still not satisfied. He straddles the man's weakened body and punches, again, and again, and again, until all he can feel is the burning of his raw knuckles drenched with blood that isn't his own.

He barely even hears the voice of his captain over the sounds of his own fury, the blood pumping in his ears resonating like drums of war. Next, there's another voice that calls out to him, loud and booming. He recognises it—

"Iwai—"

The name burns on his tongue until all he can taste are ashes of his own bloodthirst and ignorance, the sharp pain in his neck killing him in one swift blow.

Nekoma;

Player 021 (Kuroo), passed.

Kuroo would like to think he's a mentally strong person, but saying the loss of his two friends hadn't taken a toll on his mental state would be an understatement. After finding out about their deaths, he had put on a strong face for the sake his teammates, only to crack the instant he found some time alone— anger, sorrow and frustration all pouring out at once. It was Kenma who had found him in the bathroom, splashing cold water on his face in hopes of concealing his flushed complexion and damp eyes. But he should've known it would take a lot more than a small ruse to fool Kenma. He told Kuroo that it was fine if he wanted to cry in front of his friends— they were all devastated too, after all. However, right now, they all needed each other, they couldn't afford anyone cracking under pressure for it could potentially lead to the team falling apart. He'd even mentioned their old motto that once upon time, would make Kenma cringe at its cheesiness: "we are like the blood in our veins, we must flow without stopping, remember?", and Kuroo smiled appreciatively at his attempts at cheering him up. He was right, sticking together at this point in time was crucial. And as tough as burying those nagging feelings was, Kuroo needed to press on.

Player 022 (Kai).

Player 023 (Kenma), passed.

Kenma feared something like this would happen. When none of the guards tried to intervene during the fight between Player 101 and a Player whose number Kenma couldn't remember, he knew that it had to be apart of some kind of plan, and when the eyes of all the money-hungry players lit up at the sight of an additional load of money being added to the giant piggy bank, he knew they were in for a fight.

Like old times, Kuroo allowed Kenma to be the mastermind behind their plan of action. He suggested that the team form a line and stand against the wall, that way they could only be attacked from the front and wouldn't become seperated as easily, nor would they be pushed to the center of the dorm which was to be avoided at all costs. Then he suggested positioning the two strongest members at each end of the line, to protect those weakest who would stand in the middle. He asked if everyone was okay with this, knowing that those two positions would be the most dangerous, but he should've known that former Nekoma members weren't ones to back down and Kuroo and Yamamoto were more than up to the task.

Player 025 (Yamamoto), eliminated.

After hearing Kenma's plan, Yamamoto jumped on the opportunity. He took pride in being their team's main line of defense and swore to protect them all until morning, even if it would cost him his life.

His palms were sweaty as he and Kuroo took their positions at either side of their teammates. He glanced at Yaku, Kenma and Lev who took their positions as discussed, feeling part of his anxieties dissipate when Kenma gave him a reassuring thumbs up. All that was left was to wait until the lights went out.

It was eerily silent as the dormitory waited for the last seconds to run out and if you were to lend an ear, one could almost hear the person neighbouring's breathing. Yamamoto hands flexed when rustling could be heard from the bed over from his, and when the first scream rang out, that's when all hell finally broke loose.

Kuroo told them to stay on guard as the killer would most likely target them next, and his hunch was proven correct when Yamamoto's eyes locked with those of a blood-covered man, his heart pumping against his ribcage. He braced himself with tense limbs as the killer made a beeline in his direction, the following seconds happening in a blur. It was a mess of limbs and desperate scuffling as the two men fought, but when Yamamoto's fist successfully connected with the man's stomach, winding him momentarily, he took that opportunity to bring him down— permanently or not, he didn't know.

The next scream that caught his ears was a lot more alarming. It was a man's voice coming from not too far away, and when a struggling Kuroo caught Yamamoto's eye, he didn't think twice before jumping in to his aid. He roared as he fought to fend off the two assailants, using his bare hands to free his captain from their vice grip. He barely took notice of Kuroo's pleas from him to back off, too busy with trying to detach the hands on his captain's arms to fully heed his warning. It was only when Kuroo full-on roared his name that Yamamoto finally locked eyes with him, immediately noting the horror that painted his features. His haunting expression sunk in like the sharp object that sunk into Yamamoto's brain, and as his vision faded to black, he collapsed against his captain.

Player 024 (Yaku), eliminated.

His feet are rooted to the ground as he watches the life fade from Yamamoto's eyes, the shard of glass still rooted into his skull. He wants to reach out to him, to shake him and try and wake him up, his thought process gone into a haze. Instead, he reaches for the glass, his hands trembling as he carefully pulls it out, his stomach churning all the while. He thinks for a moment about what he's about to do, regarding the weapon with wide eyes. There's drops of Yamamoto's blood dripping onto the floor and Yaku feels bile rising to his throat as some of it trickles onto his hands, still warm and sticky. Then it happens, as quick as a gunshot; the need for revenge. His body moves on its own as he charges towards Yamamoto's killer, the glass in his hand heavy with the act he's about to commit to. It sinks into the man's cheek as Yaku twists his wrist, eliciting a howl that's bound to be heard from across the dormitory.

Yaku backs away once his victim falls to his knees, his entire body shaking and his breathing pattern erratic. He can barely process what he's just done, he feels like he's been possessed, his eyes glued on the man struggling to remove the shard from his cheek. Too overpowered by his own gruesome act to move, Yaku falls prey to the hands of another player and feels the glass shard pierce between his shoulder blades, almost like whoever's dealing the blow was unable to fully commit to the act.

He falls to the ground, using his hands to try and push himself back up but failing when someone straddles him, pushing him flat against the floor. Yaku gasps for air as he tries to shake them off, only to let out a strangled cry when something stabs him again— and again, and again until he ceases to move.

Player 026 (Lev), passed.

He feels like a metal rode caught in a thunderstorm. There's fights happening everywhere you look, screams echoing around the room like bolts of lightening and Lev is trapped among the chaos. He watches with dread as Yamamoto and Yaku both lay there, unmoving. And with Kuroo and Kenma occupied, the chances are high that he too, meets the same demise. Lev's no fighter, that much is clear— not with his flailing limbs and clumsiness. His mind is telling him just to run, to see how far his legs can carry him and just pray that he make it out alive. However, his heart prevents him and nag him to stay close to his friends.

The dilemma leaves him reeling, his fingers twitching with the urge to flee. But in a moment of spontaneity, he finally decides to stay, a deep frown marring his features as he charges into the thunderstorm.

Player 027 (Inuoka).

Fukurodani;

Player 028 (Bokuto), passed.

Bokuto didn't know if he should consider himself lucky, or cursed. The loss of Akaashi would certainly be classified as the latter, but succeeding the honeycomb game was up for debate. He'd been fooled into having the hardest shape to carve out and yet there he stood, still breathing. Now, most would consider that luck— if not a miracle— yet as Bokuto stood alone amidst hundreds of bloodthirsty individuals, ready to fight tooth and nail if it meant getting rid of more competition, he honestly thought maybe life was just playing a cruel farce on him and that experiencing all these trauma-inducing games was simply a punishment of sorts.

Or perhaps, just perhaps, him making it this far was a sign for him to keep moving on, to keep living and forgive himself—

Akaashi's smile flashed through his mind.

—but how? How to move on when it should be him standing in his place. It ails him to think of a life without him, without a friend he thought he'd never have to live without. But if he's still standing, still breathing when he should've died back there on the playground, then maybe it's for a reason...

To decide this, he slips under the bed, thinking:

If I can make it through the night without so much as lifting a finger, then I really am meant to live. If not, then I shall accept the fate I should've succumb to a long time ago.

Player 029 (Akaashi).

Player 030 (Konoha).

Shiratorizawa;

Player 031 (Ushijima).

Player 032 (Tendou), passed.

When Ushijima hadn't come back, Tendou was in a state of disbelief. In fact, he'd quite literally fell into a daze, eyes vacant and seemingly frozen in time. It was only as Shirabu noticed and began calling out to him that he finally came back to his senses.

"Snap out of it," he'd said. "He's gone."

The words had sounded cold as they left Shirabu's lips but Tendou would've been blind to let the tears in his eyes go unnoticed.

An odd feeling settled in his chest, one that felt so unpleasantly familiar and that he'd hoped he would never have to experience again. It was the same melancholic feeling he'd felt back in high school; the feeling of having lost something so dear to him it left him feeling bitter. Only this time, it was someone, and along with that feeling of sorrow came a fury that up until this day, had been a feeling almost entirely foreign to him. Hurt, betrayal, loneliness, sadness, and humiliation had all been a part of his life, but never fury. And he didn't know how to handle it.

Player 033 (Goshiki), passed.

Goshiki had never seen Tendou like this. Tendou had frightened him in the past with his freakishly accurate intuition and sardonic behaviour, but never to the point where it put Goshiki on edge. Ever since Ushijima's passing, he was all cold intimidation, and Goshiki felt like he was walking on thin ice and that he could break at any given moment.

Turns out, that given moment was at night. At night when death was around every corner and amidst it all was a blood-coated Tendou.

Goshiki felt every part of his body trembling. To witness his upperclassmen like this was nothing short of blood curdling, with his jersey stained crimson, wild eyes flashing with every flickering light, accompanied by the sound of a metal pole dragging behind him with every step. He wondered if Ushijima had something to do with this, if his death had caused Tendou to go into some kind of craze.

The sound of another person's screams dying beneath Tendou's weapon broke Goshiki from his train of thought. He backed himself further into a corner, hugging himself with trembling hands, praying that this night be over.

Player 034 (Shirabu), passed.

Like Goshiki, Shirabu watches with baited breath as Tendou takes down yet another person. Something must have snapped inside that twisted mind of his, he thinks. The concept makes him feel sick to the stomach, knowing that only have they lost Ushijima in the flesh, but Tendou in spirit, too. Part of him wants to storm up to Tendou and snap him out of the psychotic episode he's currently drowning in, fearing that if this goes on, he'll just end up getting himself killed, too. But what good would that be if Shirabu just ended up getting caught in the crossfire?

He clicks his tongue. Looks like Tendou would be on his own until sunlight. For now, he had himself to worry about, and he wasn't about to die here.

Player 035 (Semi), passed.

He's fighting tooth and nail, sweat and blood trickling down his face. He really wished if hadn't come to this, but alas, a person's greed truly was something to be terrified of. Even if it meant killing their own, a human's greed knew no bounds.

As for Tendou, he wondered if greed was what was fueling him... From the looks of it, it seemed to be more out an outburst, perhaps like some sort of twisted catharsis in response to his friends loss.

When the lights came back on, everything came to a standstill, the events of what just happened painted everywhere in the dormitory walls, floor, and players. Semi fell back onto some persons bed, light-headed and nauseous.

He dare'nt look at the state of his hands.

Inarizaki;

Player 036 (Kita), passed.

His gut was right— something terrible did happen during the previous game. When Suna and the twins came back from the honeycomb challenge earlier that day, it was with great regret that they told him about Aran's death. All Kita could do at the time was exhale a shaky breath, apologising to his former teammates that they had to bear witness to such a traumatising thing. The instant he was alone however, locked in the cubicle of one of the public restrooms, Kita cried. He couldn't remember the last time he broke down the way he did that day, the kind of breakdown that made him curl in on himself, violent sobs making his entire body shake as he clutched his sides in a desperate attempt of comfort.

He stayed locked in there for about an hour until he couldn't produce even a single tear, his body tired and dehydrated. Before leaving however, he'd say a prayer for Aran, wishing him the best in the afterlife and promising to hold a proper funeral for him once he made it out of here.

Player 037 (Aran).

Player 038 & Player 039 (Atsumu & Osamu), passed.

"Kita's been cryin'." Atsumu points out to his twin, his voice unchanging and dull.

Osamu's gaze flits to their former captain and takes note of his swollen red eyes and flushed face, a heavy feeling settling in his chest. "M' not surprised," he murmurs, taking pity on his senior. He remembers them being close in high school, closer than anyone had ever gotten to Kita. What a loss that must be for him.

"I wanna get outta here," Atsumu speaks up, eyes glued to the pink soldiers carrying that creepy, present-shaped coffin out of the dorm. "I don't wanna be next."

"Just be lucky it hasn't already happened," Osamu replies, and he quickly shakes off the thought of Atsumu being the one wheeled out of the room instead. "'Least most of us are still here."

"Whaddaya mean, 'at least most of us are still here'? Isn't one of us dyin' already enough?!"

Osamu feels his heartbeat pick up as Atsumu raises his voice. He'd almost forgotten what that sounded like. Since the beginning of the games, Atsumu's been way out of his usual state of mind, so dim and unsure compared to his usual passionate self. The tone he's using however, never usually means anything good. It's the tone he uses when he's put his mind to something and typically, he doesn't tend to back down once it happens.

"Don't be gettin' any stupid ideas 'Tsumu. You know we can't leave now. The majority voted to stay."

"Yeah? And how's that fair on those who did wanna leave? Riddle me that!"

Osamu holds a stern face as Atsumu glares back at him. "It ain't."

"Exactly." Atsumu says, but just as he stands up from his bed, eyes directed at the pink soldiers standing by the door, Osamu quickly stands up and steps in front of him.

"Yer outta yer mind, 'Tsumu," Osamu starts, calmly, warningly. "The guards don't listen. And put a hand on them and they'll shoot ya."

Atsumu brushes past his brother without so much as saying a word, but when he steps in front of him again with a stern call of his name, Atsumu pulls an indignant face.

"'Samu if you think I'm gonna just sit around and give these pink bastards the pleasure of shootin' my brains out, yer dead wrong. Now stop gettin' in my way. Follow me and make sure I don't get outta line if ya want, but I'm goin'."

With that, Atsumu gives no chance for Osamu to argue. It could be worth a shot, after all. So long as he doesn't get handsy with the henchmen, there shouldn't be an issue. But in case he does resort to that, Osamu'll make sure to stop him before shit gets real.

"Oi, you! Assholes in pink! I want out! It ain't fair that ya keep the ones who voted to leave inside here! What did we do to deserve this, huh? Speak up!"

There's a brief moment of silence as Atsumu pleads his case. Then, one of the masked men, the one with a circle on it, steps forward.

"The rules indicate that if the majority voted to terminate the games, then we'd have no choice but to comply. However, the results show that one hundred and two of you voted to stay, and only ninety nine of you, voted to leave. Therefore, there's no longer anything we can do."

Anger bubbles inside Atsumu's stomach but before Osamu can persuade him to give up, Atsumu's at it again. This time, taking one step closer to the soldier who merely looks up at the infuriated twin.

"I don't care what the majority wanted! That's still ninety nine of us who wanted to leave! What's it to you, anyway? Ain't one hundred and two players enough to satisfy yer sadistic little game show?"

The guard remains still, even in face of Atsumu's yelling. Then, he replies in that same, monotonous voice:

"I'm sorry. We do not come up with the rules. Now, we demand you regain your bed and rest. Tomorrow will be a new game and—"

"Demand? Who do you think ya'are?!" Atsumu growls, signs of his anger growing more and more dangerous by the second. "Go get me yer master then. Maybe he'll be more useful than you little pricks—"

He stops speaking when he feels something press into his stomach, and only when he looks down does he realize one of the armed soldiers has his finger poised on the trigger, the nuzzle of his gun cold even through the fabric of his t-shirt.

"Drop it now, 'Tsumu. You did yer best."

A click of the tongue and Atsumu shoves the gun away from him. There's anger-induced tears welling in his eyes as he and Osamu walk back to their beds, his attempts of getting him and his friends out to safety shattering right before him.

"It's not fuckin' fair, 'Samu," he sniffles.

Osamu feels his heart break just a little more and pats him on the back.

"I know, 'Tsumu. I know."

Player 040 (Suna), passed.

True, the previous game hadn't at all been physically demanding but even so, Suna felt exhausted. Even Kita's harsh penalties back in their high school years hadn't knocked him out this quickly.

Okay. Maybe that was kind of a stretch. But pushing aside the details, Suna had been sleeping for about two hours after the honeycomb game, completely dead to the world on the outside, but a turmoil of emotion bubbling on the inside. He thought sleeping would serve as a perfect distraction from thinking about... Him. About Aran, and how he'd prematurely lost his life earlier that day. But even in his unconscious state, images of his friend came to him in the form of a nightmare.

His eyebrows were pinched as his mind tried to fight off the bad dream, his breath shallow as a dead Aran weakly reaches a hand out to him, pleading him for help.

Then he's abruptly woken up, only to be greeted with the sound of the twins' arguing. It was a welcome change from his nightmare, he supposed.

Raking a hand throw his hair, Suna took a swig from his water which felt like heaven against his dry throat. Then, he turned to Kita, who from the looks it of, seemed to be fighting demons of his own.

Suna couldn't blame him.

"What're the twins fighting about, now?" Suna asks, deciding not to bring up Kita's worse for wear appearance. A change of subject might distract his former captain from the woes he's dealing with, he thought.

"Atsumu wants to leave this place and has decided to confront the guards," Kita replies plainly. "And Osamu's trying to stop him."

"Classic Atsumu," Suna scoffs, though it's more out of fondness than spite. "Looks like Osamu's lost the argument this time."

He watches as the Miyas walk up to the henchmen, and part of Suna is weary of the men wielding those guns.

"If we were to take another vote, what would you choose this time?" Kita asks. Suna regards him with a curious gaze.

"I'd vote to leave." It's an obvious choice for Suna. If he can avoid witnessing more death, he'd fucking love to. "And you?"

"I'd vote to stay."

And at this, Suna falters. He wants to bring up that they've already lost Aran but he bites his tongue. He wants to ask what reason is there for them to stay here, but before he can formulate his response, Kita's already begun speaking:

"Dont'cha think it'd be a waste, givin' up now? Lots of people here have already lost someone they care about. Dont'cha think it invalidates their death if we just decide to leave?"

Suna watches with careful eyes as Kita tweaks with the hem of his jacket, a giveaway sign to his unease. Talking about this must be eating at him more than he's letting on, Suna remarks. He understands where he's coming from, it's true that deciding to bail now would make Aran's death seem in vain, but wouldn't it be even more pointless if they all ended up dying here? At least if they left now they'd be taking no risks.

"I'm not sure," he says. Then: "does this mean you're planning on completing all the games?"

"No matter the cost," Kita answers. His confidence makes Suna smirk a little.

"I thought you were all about fair-play."

Kita merely shrugs at that, dismissing Suna's claims. "Sometimes a little foul play is necessary. Especially with our life on the line."

Suna feigns a gasp, still smirking as he lies back on his bed, arms crossed behind his head. "How shrewd."

Kita chuckles at the small jab, and for the first time in days, Suna smiles.

Date Tech;

Player 042 (Fukutachi), passed.

He sneers as the pink soldiers carry out the corpse, thinking that this place couldn't get any crueller. He'd told Koganegawa not to look as soon as the fight started to escalate, knowing he was more sensitive to the sight of death more than he was. Then spent the rest of the afternoon assuring his team that they'd all make it through the night. He'd told them that like on the court, they would depend on defending themselves, not attacking, and that staying close by was the key to surviving the bloodbath intermission.

Player 043 (Koganegawa), passed.

Upon Fukutachi's suggestion, Kogane had looked away and covered his ears to shelter him from the sounds of murder. He couldn't believe it; how could people be this ruthless, this selfish? And for what? The money? They'd take lives over money? It was beyond him.

When Fukutachi had told the team that there was most likely going to be a big fight tonight, Kogane swallowed hard. He was terrified of the thought of being targeted by hundreds of money-driven humans, fearing that if push came to shove, that he just wouldn't have it in him to end another person's life. Luckily, Futakuchi took that into account and said that all they'd need to do was stand their ground, protect their own and so long as they did that, victory would be theirs.

Player 041 (Aone), passed.

It goes without saying that Aone was the muscle of the team. He was its main pillar and their strongest line of defense when it came to protecting his two friends. Thankfully though, not a lot of people went for this team in the first place because they weren't considered easy targets, and the people who did try and go for them bailed the moment they caught a glimpse of Aone. Overall; not too much trouble.

Miscellaneous;

Player 044 (Suguru), passed.

Upon finding out that are big fight would break out later that night, Suguru's immediate plan of action was finding a group of strong people. The first people that came to mind was the group sitting at the far end of the dormitory; three men all tall and muscular and perfect for assuming the role of potential meat shields. Of course, he wouldn't mention that once the fight broke out, nor would he ask them to team up. After all, how could he be sure that they wouldn't turn their backs on him or even worse, gang up on him?. Rather, Suguru would wait until the lights went out before sneaking past them and crawling under one of their beds, just beneath their line of defense. Then, all he had to do was wait until morning.

Player 045 (Terushima), passed.

His eyes glinted with interest as they remained trained on the golden piggy bank overhead. So that's how it was— whether it was inside or outside the games, eliminating players was still a possibility. He thought for a moment. But why now? Why hadn't the pink soldiers stepped in to break the fight? Wasn't violence among players prohibited until now? He pondered over the possibilities, the only logical reason would be if the henchmen had purposely set this up to spur the players on, to make them break out into a fight. But for what reason? Terushima wasn't sure. To weed out the weaklings perhaps? And if that were the case, then it was obvious that the next games were favourable for those with more refined physical abilities. Clever.

If his assumption was correct and a bloodbath really did break out, he figured the more vicious players would team up and target the more vulnerable first— which included Terushima, seeing as he was alone.

So, the second the men in pink carried away the corpse, he began scouting, carefully observing each team that began to form and inwardly analysing their physical abilities. He'd need a team with more members, preferably men, tall, athletic, and trustworthy, which was the hardest trait to decipher.

In the end, he'd settle on a team of five men, most of them lean and well built, huddling around one of the beds. He interrupted their plan making, faltering slightly under two of the player's intimidating glare. That was good, he supposed. They looked like they could put up a fight. Bowing to show his sincerity, he asked if he could form a team with them and though they seemed to scrutinize him at first, they accepted. Now they were a team of six.

Player 046 (Sakusa), eliminated.

Sakusa doesn't know if he can do it, honestly. Murdering a person with his own two hands. It's too much to even think about, even in a kill or be killed situation. Was it naive of him to think he could make it through the night without resorting to violence? Probably. But that didn't mean he wouldn't try to anyway.

His heart beats frantically in his ribcage as he tries to manoeuvre his way through the obscurity, his eyes squinting as he tries to adjust to both pitch black and the flashing lights at all once. Then he feels his heart stop as someone grabs his leg, only for his stomach to churn once his eyes glance down at the blood-soaked woman begging at his feet. His hand flies up to his mouth, his chest heaving as he tries so desperatly to suppress the urge to gag.

He feels like he's about to faint, but as two hands come and latch onto his throat, squeezing so tightly it makes him see white, he lets himself go and not even seconds later and his heart stops beating.

Player 047 (Hoshiumi).

144 notes · View notes

sylvie-writes · 3 years

Text

Dr. Husband

word count: 5278

pairing: doctor steve rogers x wife reader

warnings: talks about heat exhaustion? there’s nothing graphic, but if the hospital theme bothers you, then this isn’t the fic to read!

prompts (from @/fluffyomlette): “Your pulse is a little high. Is it because I’m holding your hand?” and “You’re not supposed to pick favourites, doc.” “Trust me, if I didn’t, you’d be dead by now.”

a/n: this just popped in my head about a month ago and i had to write it for no explainable reason. i really couldn’t think of a title oops. if you all have a better idea please tell me so i can change it lol.

please excuse any mistakes!

Summer was finally in full force, blazing sun rays beamed down on the dry ground and once gorgeous flowers drooped in dire need of water. Sounds of children playing outside, pool water splashing as a result of cannonballs, while lawnmowers whirled to life and laughter from the watching wives resounded this afternoon. In your neighborhood, it was tradition that the women would get together every other Saturday and have drinks in the cul-de-sac while their husbands had unsaid competitions of manicuring their yards. Unfortunately for you, your husband was a doctor and that meant little time for him to do the yard, and you didn’t have children at the moment that could go play with the others. The women who were your neighbors were a bit too picky choosy for your taste. They only seemed to bond over their children and sitting around home, two of which you didn’t have or do, so you weren’t ever truly invited to their day-drinking. It was actually fine with you as these people were so hot n’cold and you were just tired of trying to fit in with faux friends. You had plenty of true friends and then your husband who was a child of his own.

For three weekends so far, Steve had told you he’d cut the lawn and as much as you wanted to believe him, you knew that he was so exhausted from work and being on call a majority of the time, that he would never find the hours to do so. That was okay with you because what he did was important and you weren’t gonna be on his ass like the feds about the yard when you could easily do it yourself. It wasn’t like he was just sitting around, no, he was working so you just decided to cut the lawn yourself, something you’d done plenty of times before.

༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺

Unfortunately the day you chose to do so, the sun was out blazing and a simple walk out the door was a trip to an off-brand hell. Instead of making a wise decision and waiting to cut the grass in the evening, you chose the latter and decided to cut the grass at noon, the very time the sun was in full shine.

Dressed in attire for yard work and having already eaten a sandwich for lunch, you headed out the garage door to tackle the mess there in hopes of finding the push mower within. Steve’s father, Joseph, had given you both a lot of his lawn equipment, but the riding mower was broken at the moment and you (again) stupidly decided to push mow the almost two acre lawn. It took a good half hour to get the darned thing out on the driveway and while doing so, you noticed that your neighbors, the wives to be exact, had decided to come out for one of their occasional and somehow spontaneous get-togethers which consisted of unattended kids drawing with chalk as their mothers sat a few feet away dipping their feet in the small splash pool. You often found the idea both inventive and funny.

For only a second more did you let your attention linger on the group before returning back to fill the lawn mower with gasoline. After doing so, you tossed on a pair of sunglasses and went full steam ahead with cutting the grass, disregarding the rising, and very unsafe, temperature.

About an hour in, the temp had already risen to be above 100 and something no one should have spent any longer than half an hour in. Steve had always said you were stubborn at all the wrong times and boy was he right. You had just finished up half of the front yard and quarter of the back yard. It was mad that you were actually thinking about pushing mowing two acres, especially in this unruly weather.

You were so determined and when your mind was set on something, you let all other matters slip away, including regards for your own health. The unusual amount of sweat on your skin seemed to go unnoticed by you as well did the growing headache.

Finally, about half an hour later, more of the backyard was finished and your inner saboteur continued to influence your goals.

“Just finish this half and you will be close enough to the end,” translated into “Just finish the whole yard, you might as well since you are this close.”

This was the worst mindset to have, especially with the given circumstances as you had been out here for at least two hours, no drinks of any sort, no real breaks aside from fueling the lawn mower, and no cares to the worsening symptoms that now included noticeable dizziness.

The lawn mower eventually ran out of gas and you went to refill it once more. Making your way through the front yard, your unknown adrenaline rush came to an end along with the machine’s power. It wasn’t until your vision started to star and blur that you finally noticed your decline in health, but by then it was too late and you were on the plush and groomed grass of the front yard. Ironically, you noticed the fruits of your labor since you were currently laying on it.

Five minutes had passed since your drop to the ground and one of the ladies out in the court, Genevieve, noticed your figure, quite the contrast to the viridescent grass. Despite that she thought you were “demented” for cutting the grass yourself, she knew you weren’t unhinged, so to say, that you would just lay on the grass as it would serve no purpose to do so. She didn’t take you for a nature lover either so this was not normal.

Genevieve squatted down in the lawn, her sparkly sandals reflecting in the sea of green. Unknowing of what to do, the woman in a panic threw the back of her hand to your forehead and you burned hotter than a metal kettle. By time she stood, the other ladies had gathered around and were now circling in mass hysteria as if they were staring at a dead body and not your unconscious, yet breathing frame. Many long seconds later, Priscilla, who was Genevieve’s closest friend and who despised you as much as you did her, decided to call 911. The other moms then left to go usher their children away from what they described as a “traumatic experience” and back to their large homes for some sort of last minute luncheon.

Eventually, an ambulance arrived in your usually quiet neighborhood, something that was clearly displayed as almost every neighbor popped their heads out of their houses in sheer curiosity. Their nosey nature often bothered you but was normally put behind some sort of service act such as a baked cake or bottle of wine just to be invited into your house. You didn’t miss the way your neighbors would study your house when they were finally welcomed in. Steve was much better at hiding his cross nature and would return some compassion of his own while you struggled to bottle your annoyance and sealed it with a forced smile. As luck would have it though, you were knocked out and couldn’t give them a piece of your mind for staring because heavens know this would’ve been the last straw and no one could have stopped your rant.

It was when you were in the red wagon and being attended over by paramedics that you noticed you were on the way to somewhere that wasn’t home.

༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺

At the hospital, the doctor and nurses hydrated you back to reality and suddenly you appeared in a bed, a doctor standing at the side with a clipboard in hand allowing your mind to draw up a million conclusions before you remembered what you had done last.

The doctor spoke a fast introduction and he then moved on to fill you in on what had happened as confusion still painted your face although when he told you Genevieve’s account of what led up to your ultimate passing out, you visibly cringed at such carelessness that ended up bringing you here. Hundreds of falls, burns, and bruises thanks to your clumsy nature, but this had to be the one thing to send you to the hospital. Some sort of twisted joke it sure was.

Moving to roll a stool to your bedside, the doctor passed you a cold bottle of water before bringing his eyes to give your IV a quick check as a nurse had put it in not too long before you awoke.

“Luckily, Mrs. Rogers, your neighbors found you in time and you only experienced severe heat exhaustion. Had you prolonged your exposure anymore you could have experienced a heat stroke. For now, I ask that you rest and I’ll come back to release you.” The doctor expressed his reassurance with a kind grin before walking out of the plain and boxy room that could make one go insane with its lack of liveliness.

Staring out the open doorway and into the empty hallway, you knew that Steve worked on this very floor, but honestly what were the chances that he’d see you? At one point he’d eventually find out about today’s mishaps, but that was a problem for later when you were more conscious and caring. Letting your worries temporarily go (something that was only happening thanks to your fatigued mind), you slightly shifted into a somewhat “comfortable” position on the stiff bed and rough cotton sheets. Albeit that there was an IV uncomfortably stuck in your arm, you fell into a much needed slumber.

༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺

Lunch break at last.

That was all that had been on Steve's mind for the past three hours which had been extremely hectic. Granted, he was used to this fast-paced workplace having worked here for almost a decade, but today was absolutely out of control with injured patients coming in left and right. It wasn’t some sort of bad omen, rather just an unlucky day for many Steve had assumed. He had just finished up with a pediatric case and was now on his way to enjoy the leftover baked chicken salsa that you had made just for him last night and packed for his lunch this morning. You knew how busy his week had been and you took the liberty to make his favorite dinner dish to compensate for the work that had left such a toll on him. A smile immediately overtook his face when he walked in the house last night and that’s when you decided that you would gladly cook anything he’d like over and over again just to see that look of adoration. As Steve held you in his arms at that moment, he kept thinking how he really didn’t deserve you and little did he know, the same thought ran in your own mind. Yet, in reality, you both went together like a puzzle piece to a puzzle. Without the piece, the picture would never be completed and without the other, you and Steve would have never enjoyed life to the fullest.

Strutting down the never ending hall, Steve passed many doors, some he had been in just a mere hour or two ago. As he walked past an open door and did a double take as he saw a patient asleep, but no sign of anyone else in the room. If he were that patient, he’d want the door shut for some privacy, something which the man highly valued, so he crossed the short distance and closed the door. He didn’t mean to look at the patient for so long as they weren’t in his care and that would be awfully creepy, but Steve could help but do a double take and noticed that the familiar face was, in fact, you. From first glance it didn’t even look like you and that was coming from the man who had studied your face just to commit it to his memory. In a loving way, of course.

He slowly walked in your room, taking in the image before him of you lying in a hospital bed. His mind had assumed that the worst thing had happened to you and for a moment, Steve’s breathing ceased and his legs were glued to the ground. As his eyes scanned over your body again, his fears were calmed when there were no visible wounds and you just seemed to be resting. Although as a doctor, he unfortunately knew anything could be possible.

Hunching over the top half of the bed, Steve smoothed your stray hairs away from your forehead and placed an awakening kiss there. You were a light sleeper a majority of the time and your spouse knew that this small action would wake, but not startle you. Every night he’d come home from work and do the same thing except then he knew you were safe and sound. Now, he was just filled with uncertainty.

“What happened?” Those were the only words he was able to get out and you gave him an answer, just not one that he was looking for. You were already getting defensive and he could sense it.

“Genevieve saw me pass out in the yard and overreacted, Steven. You know they all don’t exactly have good track records with medicine.” You rolled your eyes at the last statement remembering how your neighbors have often nonchalantly tried to get Steve to diagnose them when it came to something as simple as a scrape. Then again, all of your neighbors were in the business industry so that explained their lack of medical knowledge or at least that is the excuse you drew up for them.

“Nice try, (y/n), but you do have a medical chart and it’s over there,” Steve pointed over his shoulder and towards the doorway where a plastic chart holder sat mounted on the cream wall. “You didn’t just pass out, and the neighbors did not overreact. They did the right thing despite how much I know you hate that. Now, either you tell me the truth or I go read that file.” His tone was serious, but not condescending. Hidden in his eyes was a tad sprinkle of mischief.

Stubborn as ever, you didn’t respond and folded your arms over your chest in a form of defiance.

Against what is probably legal, Steve picked up your medical chart to read what had happened as you wouldn’t disclose the information to him. Your husband was a worry-wart sometimes and while you appreciated how he doctored you when you were sick, he could be a bit overbearing. A great example would be the time when you were cooking dinner and burned your forearm when taking the casserole out of the oven.

༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺

“Babe, dinner is ready!”

The timer on the oven was currently beeping and you walked towards it. Turning off both the oven and the timer, you grabbed a short oven mitt and reached in to grab the casserole dish off the top rack. As you did so, you lifted your arm a bit too high and hit the side of your forearm on the interior roof of the oven. The temperature was ridiculously hot and the pain was immensely strong that you immediately pulled your arm back, the casserole long forgotten.

Steve came running in at your string of curses and came in to see you holding your arm and hissing a bit as if that would relieve the pain. He walked closer to you as you leaned up against the island. Your husband delicately took your arm in his hand, raking his eyes over the burn that was soon to blister.

After a short inspection, Steve placed his other hand on the small over your back and led you to the sink, flipping on the cold water and running it over your burn. Out of the corner of his eye, Steve could see you squeezing your own eyes shut in pain.

“I know, sweetheart, it hurts, I’m sorry.” He continued to rinse your scalded skin, but turned his head to sweetly kiss your temple.

A few minutes passed and Steve was content with the rinse job as you had finally opened your eyes, even engaging in some of your jokes that were always said at the wrong time. From the kitchen, the man guided you down the hallway, through your bedroom and into your joined bathroom. He sat you on the edge of the bathroom tub while rummaging through your unorganized medicine cabinet. It was barely ever touched and when it was, it was often in a state of panic hence the messiness of it. Fortunately, Steve found a tube of bacitracin and some cotton dressings from God knows how long ago. At this point he could care less and would rather have you cared for.

You curiously watched him as he dug through the cabinet and a loving smile grew on your face. How lucky were you to have this man. You were really appreciative of him in times like these especially.

Said man returned and crouched before you, distracting you from your thoughts as he softly grabbed your hand once more.

The doctor worked his magic and in no time was your arm wrapped up and lathered in ointment.

“Wow Doc, you did a great job.” Steve was still holding your hand as you quietly giggled in content. He placed a kiss on top of your knuckles and peered up at you with those gorgeous (and borderline seductive) sapphire eyes. Chuckling, Steve murmured against your skin, “Only for my favorite patient.”

As always, you decided to play along with Steve’s playful banter. “You’re not supposed to pick favorites, doc.”

Your husband knew your clumsy nature and seemed to have the perfect response, “Trust me, if I didn’t, you’d be dead by now.”

With your non-injured hand you went to hit his shoulder and he grabbed it in faux hurt.

༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺

“You know, Dr. Rogers, that is a violation and I can actually report you for it.” You lifted your line of sight to see Steve who looked back at you with his lips pressed in a fine line. He shook his head disapprovingly after reaching the end of the report and now looked like he was going to sit back in the seat beside your bed.

“Hey, what are you doing? They already examined me and I am about to get released.” The man ignored you and instead leaned over the flimsy bed railing. Steve rubbed his hands together in a warming manner before placing two fingers on your next in an attempt to find your pulse. He unfortunately carried that common trait among doctors of having hands that were colder than that of a penguin’s ass. You knew very well this pulse check was useless as you were in conditional health and that he was probably doing this to annoy you.

“Well I like to do a check of my own. It never hurts to get a second opinion, darling.” Blue eyes squinted at you and you returned the patronizing gesture.

The free hand that was not on your neck had found its way to hold your own hand and when your husband pulled back, he wore a smug smirk on his lips.

“Your pulse is a little high. Is it because I’m holding your hand?”

“You know, your shoulders must hurt from carrying such a big head all the time.” Steve had the nerve to laugh at your elementary grade insult and even though you weren’t really mad, your face would have said otherwise to anyone else.

“So I’ll take that as a yes then, wifey.” He then quickly dropped to press a chaste kiss to your lips before releasing your hand and sitting down in the chair.

Looking to the clock on the wall, you focused your vision on the distant numbers to read that it was most likely Steve’s lunch break.

“Are you spending your lunch break with me?” Your tone was now sweet and soft as it usually was towards Steve and his heart leaped at the progress being made.

“It seems that I am. ‘Was really looking forward to that chicken salsa, though.” A heap of blonde hair rested on your hand that Steve had now laid his head against, still holding tight with both of his own hands. You giggled at his dramatics and ruffled a free hand through his greasy hair.

“I haven’t eaten anything, you think you could spend your lunch break with me?” His head popped up at this and his face held the eagerness of an energetic puppy.

“Of course, sweetheart. We can head to the cafeteria. Hopefully they have something good for my girl.” It was now your turn for your heart to swell at his words. Not even a second later though, the sentimental moment was replaced with Steve’s usual sarcastic humor.

“See, I love you so much that I am willing to sacrifice my precious chicken salsa just to have lunch with you. You should be grateful to have me as your husband.” Steve’s pearly whites beamed at you in a cheesy smile and you gave a dismissive wave of your hand.

The two of you talked and enjoyed the rare time together for the next ten minutes until Steve noticed you shifting to sit up against the pillows. He thought nothing of it until suddenly you were throwing your legs over the side of the bed and making to get out of the so called cotton prison.

Waving a finger, Steve tutted you and hurriedly scooped your legs back onto the bed. You looked absolutely peeved and Steve knew it was from the way that he was treating you like a child or better yet, a patient. His wife, the fighter and he, the doctor. Two unlikely personalities but ones that worked best together nonetheless. This made Steve laugh whenever he thought about it.

“You can get up the minute you get released by the doc, okay?” Caring eyes now gave you a pleading look and you felt a small tinge of guilt crawling up your chest at how mean you had been to your husband when he has only been trying to help.

A knock on the wooden door signaled a visit from the one person you had been waiting on for what seemed to be ages.

“Speak of the devil.” Muttering the phrase so only Steve could hear you gave him an “I told you so” kind of look.

The Doctor looked up from the same clipboard as earlier to greet you once he made it in through the doorway, but he was surely surprised by the figure sitting in the chair beside you.

“Oh Dr. Rogers, what a surprise! So this is your wife I presume? I guess I should have put two and two together,” Your doctor of the moment laughed with Steve who added in a chuckle or two of his own.

“Yep, this is Mrs. Rogers!” Steve didn’t look at you, but lovingly squeezed your hand that was resting against his, “We are quite the handful so I am surprised you couldn’t tell that she was my other half.” A snicker ended his words and you couldn’t help but do the same.

Once the short introductions were over, the doctor walked over to do a speedy final exam on what was necessary as Steve watched from the sidelines still getting used to the idea of not being the one doing the examination. He hadn’t been in any other position in the hospital for such a long time that it took some time to get used to the fact that he wasn’t the one diagnosing and rather waiting for the diagnosis.

The doctor pulled away from hovering over you and now sat back on his rolling leather stool, scooting his way over to the computer and desk.

“Well I must say, (y/n), that you definitely live up to some of the stories your husband tells.” The other man in the white coat finished up his typing before turning back around to face you and his colleague.

“Ah, I hope he’s giving me some good street cred,” You teased and from the side you saw Steve shaking his head and chuckling under his breath.

“I assure you that they were all good things.” With that, the doctor formally released you, walking out of the room to give you some time to redress and such.

You went to get out of the bed for the nth time, but finally succeeded. Your legs felt a bit wobbly upon the first step, and Steve noticed this. He came up to stand beside you and placed a hand on your lower back with the other out in front in case you did fall. Placing your own hand on his scrub clad chest to steady yourself, you silently thanked him with a tender pat.

With Steve’s guidance, you went to change out of the wretched paper gown and into your shorts and shirt from working outside. It wasn’t exactly the most flattering outfit but at this moment you could care less for the only thing on your mind was getting out of this room.

༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺

The ride in the elevator seemed to move slower than a snail and almost stopped on every floor. You were so crammed by the time you were only on the fifth floor that you used this as an excuse to lean up against Steve. He rubbed your arm and enveloped you in a side hug and planted a kiss on your head. The two of you never cared for PDA but neither of you had realized the onlooking eyes.

You found it mildly comedic when some of your fellow passengers seemed disgusted that a doctor was handling a patient in such a way. It was definitely gonna be a joke for later on.

Eventually you made it to the first floor and begrudgingly pushed yourself out of Steve’s warm embrace when the smell of garlic bread hit your nose.

“Huh, they never cook spaghetti around here. They must know we have a special guest today.” Steve pressed his lips against your ear to jokingly whisper to you as he ushered you out the elevator doors.

༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺

Standing in line with a plastic tray at the cafeteria made you have flashbacks to middle school lunch and you shuddered at the thought. The memories played back in your mind like a movie and were interrupted (much to your relief) when Steve tapped your shoulder.

“You want this?” Steve held one of the plastic salad containers in hand, the white sleeve of his lab coat draped on top of the other stacked bowls in the open air freezer.

You nodded and he placed it on your tray, slightly bumping your hips as he walked past to grab a drink.

༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺

For a good twenty minutes, you and Steve sat in comfortable silence in one of the booths until clicking clogs came closer and closer. So close that a shadow loomed over your table conveying that someone was here to speak.

“Dr. Rogers, I don’t think it’s entirely wise of you to have lunch with your patient. Actually, it’s quite inappropriate.” The older woman in burgundy scrubs pointed her gaze to the hospital band on your wrist and both you and Steve started laughing upon noticing. So that explained all the weird looks.

“Oh no, Dr. Williams! This is my wife (y/n),” You politely beamed up at the woman and set out your hand for a handshake. At this, her unenthusiastic expression changed to one of apologetic and she shook your hand with much grief as Steve continued on with his introductions.

“(y/n), this is Dr. Williams. She is the medical director for my department.”

“Wow! I’ve heard many wonderful things about you, Dr. Williams.” She went to return the praise before a beeping in her coat pocket signaled the time for her departure.

“Duty calls, but I’ll have you know this one here never shuts up about you. It was nice to finally put a face to a name, (y/n),” You glanced at Steve and noticed he was sheepishly grinning and turning redder by the second. So much so that he was hiding his face in his palms.

““I hope you have a quick recovery as well, hon!” The standing woman gave you a nod of her head and then turned to your husband whose face had finally regained its color. “As for you Steven, I will see you later. You have another resident to deal with today.” Dr. Williams sighed at the thought, waving you both goodbye and soon enough she was out the double doors of the lunch room.

“Ooh babe you’ll have to tell me how all of that goes.” Spooning some spaghetti into your mouth, you goofily raised your eyebrows at Steve.

“Trust me, it is not fun at all. When I was a resident, I would have never acted like some of the people I’ve trained!”

You snorted, “Uh huh. Sureee.”

“No really,” Steve’s eyes widened and he leaned over the table like he was sharing some sort of secret with you, “The audacity of some of these people.”

“I think you are just an old man now, Stevie, and can’t keep up with the times.” The blond screwed up his eyes and stuck his tongue out at you.

“Oh hush and finish your food, Miss. ‘I am soooo young’.” A napkin flew at Steve’s chest and the two of you laughed at the childish antics that had just ensued.

Just as both of your styrofoam containers became empty, an unpleasant ringer sounded in Steve’s pocket, just like the one of Dr. Williams’s departure. Once he gave the screen a swift peek, he looked back up at you with a long face.

“You gotta go?” Golden strands bobbed up and down as Steve nodded and you grabbed his hand.

“It’s alright! Thank you for spending the time with me today, though. I really appreciate it. Thanks for putting up with me, you know how I am sometimes.”

The larger hand encompassing yours gave a sympathetic squeeze.

“Oh darling, anytime, you know that. If you need anything, call me okay? I will try my best to answer.”

The temporary silence that filled the room was now replaced by annoying buzzing from the device that Steve had silenced for the moment. He irritability took it out and shoved it back in his pocket. Normally this didn’t bother Steve because this was his job, but since you were here, having just been sick, he wanted nothing more than to drop everything and focus on you. Knowing that was impossible, he tried his best to juggle both yet it seemed that the world wasn’t gonna wait on him.

“Do you want me to call Ma to come get you? I’m sure she wouldn’t mind. Her and Dad love your company.” For the moment, Steve appeared to look like he was ignoring the constant beeping, but you knew internally he was already out of the cafeteria and sprinting down the halls.

“No no, I’m fine, honey,” The doctor stared at you as if he didn’t believe you. “I mean it, Steve. I am fine. Now shoo.”

Dr. Rogers shared another laugh with you before pecking your lips and running out the room shouting, “I’ll see you later!”

He really was too good for this world.

༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺

a/n: i really enjoyed writing for doctor!steve, so if anyone has any ideas that involves him and that you’d like me to write, send it in! <3

taglist (is open!): @memissbee @tricereads @buckybarnesthehotshot @bval-1 @tonystankschild @just-one-ordinary-fangirl @turtoix @kelbabyblue @jakiki94 @aubreeskailynn @calirindo @lady-elena-adeline @siriuslyslyslytherin @sushiinmidnight @patzammit @iwik3it

#Steve Rogers #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers headcanon #steve rogers x y/n #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans characters #doctor steve rogers #doctor steve rogers x wife reader

300 notes · View notes

ellitx · 3 years

Text

Chapter 5: Reticence

𝗖𝗵𝗮𝗽𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁

previous || next

art belongs to _01ki_

word count: 3.5k

Night had fallen fast upon the ruins. The hours that had gone by that were previously painted with hues of red, orange, and pink had all but faded leaving only a matte black canvas with no stars to be looked upon.

The darkness was thick and only a small source of light had allowed you to see a limited portion of your surroundings. Other than the darkness and yourself all that seemed to exist was the cold wind that brushed against your bare skin.

Cold water soaked your whole body, almost freezing as it went. Your face is drenched, the drops coming together to run into your eyes and drip from your chin. You released a shaky sigh and lowered yourself even further at the lake to cool down your burning face.

Today was rather… eventful, so to say. You bit your lower lip remembering the time you had gotten intimate with him. It made your heart race and face go burning hot just reminiscing those scenes that happened an hour ago. You sunk yourself even more until your entire head was submerged by the cool waters.

Stop thinking about it!

You scolded yourself and shut your eyes tightly to erase the salacious thoughts breaching your head. Truth to be told, you still can’t believe if it was real or just a fragment of your imagination. If it’s the latter then you should be ashamed of yourself for having thoughts such as that.

Forgive me father and mother and to the Celestia! You cried internally and buried your face in your hands. The water did not even help you to cool down your already burning face, sinking yourself further and deeper into the lake.

But even so, you can’t help but remind yourself how much Venti had poured his love onto you. His kisses were desperate and needy, clinging and holding you close to him in fear of losing you. Your fingers lightly traced the edge of your lower lips faintly remembering how his lips brushed against yours.

The beating of your heart raced and you lifted yourself, gathering the air you needed after letting yourself doused underwater. Another sigh spilled from you as you gazed upwards and stared absently at the blank canvas of the midnight sky.

A promise to stay together…

A sudden worry about your wisp friend has entered your head. You do wonder if he has really disappeared or not. It feels odd he’s missing in the group as the three of you are always together. You pray to the Celestia that he’s fine and safe, hoping he’ll come back to the two of you.

Your mind fades into dullness and everything is a foggy illusion. The quietness of the spring calms you; taking your mind off of things. All the things you honestly are unconcerned about. It’s the water. Your mind swirls, and it’s like standing on an everlasting waterfall. Ever so beautiful, but it can never last.

You blinked and your scrutiny went towards the stream, noticing a turquoise light shimmering underneath. A brow arched from your front in curiosity, letting yourself sit properly to get a good look at it.

Like a butterfly that was tranced by the sight of nectar, you were attracted to the mesmerizing glow of the waters. Unable to turn away, you reached for it and felt your own fingers roaming on your leg.

Your leg…? Now that you take a closer look at it, with a little bit of trouble observing in the dark, there were marks circling around your thighs. A light teal jagged pattern surrounded it combined with little shapes of triangles and diamonds.

The calmness that once blanketed you was now replaced with turmoil. You can feel the uneasiness in your chest waiting to take over. Perhaps it only wants to protect you but there really isn’t any danger. It sits there like paste propelling you towards anxiety you just don’t need.

You let out a slow controlled breath and attempted to loosen your stiff shoulders. You closed your eyes and took a deep breath to calm yourself and say the marks have no effects on you— or so you think it was.

Though it was once again discarded the moment your eyes cast towards your chest and shoulder. A shape of a diamond was plastered right above your chest, with little triangles left on the edge. You were definitely sure they weren’t there before yet the marks continued appearing that almost coated half of your entire upper body.

A sense of dread washed over you at the display of these unknown symbols that appeared out of nowhere. Maybe you should go back to Venti, you’ve been staying here for who knows how long now, not to mention there are monsters lurking here that might attack you.

You’ve cleaned your body already and you don’t want to make him wait for you any longer. Standing up, you wrung your hair and let the chilling waters drip back to the stream. The fact that the marks glowed even more peeved you that it might attract attention from anything wandering nearby.

Unfortunately, the gods didn’t heed your pleas of hoping no one will see you. Your body shivered when you felt eyes piercing right through your back, watchful and almost too engrossed. You covered your chest and turned around to see any entities within your call.

Your throat bobbed in fear and anxiety, hastily grabbing your clothes in an effort to hide your bare self. It didn’t do much to cover you entirely, but it was still enough to obscure your front.

“Venti…?” You shakily asked out to the quiet ruins. You already expected only silence to greet you until a familiar chiming of a bell reached your ears. As the light drains away there is barely enough even for shadows. Whether you like it or not, the darkness comes and under it everything in this forest is hidden.

Even the stars and moon cower behind a dense layer of cloud, giving the air that tincture you associate with the world before a storm.

Your ears become sharper and your mind paranoid, every snap of a twig is a predator, even if it is a fawn. For each aroma, your brain jumps to the most fearsome thing it could be and your body prepares for flight, fright, or freeze.

For the most part, you just freeze. Running will give your position away and you’re not much of a fighter. All you can do is wait while the blackness comes and pray that the dawn is not far behind.

You settle in for a wait but it’s only minutes before a strong gust of wind charged at you. You shut your eyes and held your feet onto the ground, clutching onto the cloth as your hair fluttered against the air.

The small chiming was louder than before, almost close to you. You slowly opened an eye, taking a peek up to the time that white dotted eyes were staring at you. You shrieked in alarm and fear, startled by the small creature abruptly appearing right in front of you.

Your feet slipped in sheer panic, accidentally causing yourself to fall down and swamped yourself by the chilling waters of the lake.

—

“Th-thank you…” You muttered before taking the dry cloth offered to you by your dear wind wisp friend. It indeed surprised you to see Barbatos was here all this time. You thought he had suddenly vanished during the war against Decarabian as Venti had never really mentioned or talked about him when you were with him.

Well, it was a little bit of your fault you never asked about his whereabouts. Still, you were relieved and glad to know he was still alive and well all these years. A small smile crept to your face before patting his head in thanks.

Barbatos nuzzled on your hand then looked at you expectantly before flying over your shoulder. You blinked in confusion then giggled before carefully handling him on your palm and putting him down.

“Stay right here, okay? I’ll go change for a while.” You stood up from your kneeled form and headed behind the tree. However, your little friend followed after you making you stop in your tracks and furrowed your brows in worry.

Barbatos tinkled in delight and continued cuddling on your shoulder to erase the frown glued to your face while he rubbed himself against the diamond symbols on your skin. You awe in wonderment when a faint glow emitted from both you and him, though now was not the time to be amazed. You don’t want to get yourself cold from this breezy air, and as much as he was being cute and all, you still need to dress.

“I’ll be really quick! Just stay awhile for a bit.” You pleaded and this time he reluctantly abided by your words much to your relief. You made your way to the large plant as you hurriedly slipped your arms on the sleeves and tied the back of your dress, untucking your hair after that as you flipped it over your shoulder.

You placed a hand on your chest, feeling the steady beat of your heart against it. It still scares you what these designs on your skin are, though you do feel some sort of aura mizzling over you.

A pang of throbbing pain in your head struck you; it seems like you’re exhausted. The headache told you it was time to rest someplace quiet, to ride out the storm within your brain, for in time pain does ebb.

There are days tiredness comes in both forms, physical and mental. Your body really needs to rest as well as your mind, to get rid of the anxiety swarming your entire being. Without rest, your body will spiral into exhaustion.

A yawn escapes from you and you notice Barbatos from the corner of your eyes peeking behind the tree. You gave him a tired smile and motioned for him to come closer to you.

You really have to look for Venti, you don’t know how long you’ve been making him wait for you. Albeit you’re really drained and sleepy, you have to force your legs to carry you in search of the said bard.

Barbatos took notice of your fatigued state and tugged your sleeves in a struggle to make you stay awake and catch your attention. “We… We need to find Venti.” You mumbled as another yawn evaded.

He furiously shook his head and urged you to sit down on the ground, making angry jingling sounds. As if he’ll let you wander in this kind of time. It’s already late and dark, not to mention how tired you look so far.

You sink down onto the ground and rest your back against the rough trunk of the tree. The sleepy feeling must be how Teyvat feels when the summer has passed when it needs all those months to regenerate and come back in the spring.

The small creature flew over to you and settled himself on your palms. The tunes that he played to you to dreamland is a song you’ve heard and thousand times before and never enough. The chords are like a well-worn path, one your brain follows along willingly.

The mellow tinkling lulls you to sleep. In moments, your body relaxed, breathing steadily.

After making sure you were dozing off and in deep sleep, Barbatos took his chance to nestle himself on your neck. He can’t believe his powers drained out after marking you, and it’ll take a whole day for him to recover and revert himself back to his human form.

He didn’t think ahead and carelessly poured out his Anemo powers onto you just to let the symbols design your skin. He channeled himself onto you, letting the small wisps of wind gradually restore his powers.

—

The reverberation of a wistful sigh grabbed his attention, perking his head at you in silent concern.

Your eyes wandered everywhere, almost like a frantic search. Barbatos doesn’t need to ask what— or rather who you were looking for. It was already obvious to know who it was. It’s none other than him— or should he say, Venti.

You puffed your cheeks, slightly vexed your lover has left you all alone. “He even promised to stay with me… and now he’s breaking it?” Hearing your muttered words made him panicked as he swung his head, trying to defend “Venti” in his current form.

A series of continuous wailing of a bell made you look at him before giving a mirthless chuckle and fondle his hooded head to calm him. “Maybe he just went somewhere to do something…” You said cheerlessly, gazing over the waters of the lake to distract yourself.

You shouldn’t think of things like that. You know he won’t ever do that to you and he never will. You looked over at Barbatos and propped your chin on your palm, playing with his little antennas.

“Well, at least you’re here with me~ I really miss you a lot.” Your laughter was so free and pure, so childish despite the one you recently gave that sounded so empty and hollow. It came to his ears in a tickle and bounce— and it was only the moment he could do nothing but join in such generous mirth.

You leaned back and placed your hands on the ground to support your body as you looked up to admire the blue sky. The sensation of calmness and serenity wafting through you eased your mind and body, taking in the gentle breeze of the old ruins.

The tiny elemental being watched you in admiration. Your eyes blinking from time to time that allured him, allowing your lashes to flutter softly. Your eyes are simply spellbinding and captivating that he could get himself lost in there.

He unconsciously floated to you and snuggled himself on your hands. The memories of you and his friend being together made his heart wrenched in shame and guilt of what he was doing. He thought he was already sure the feeling that caged him was already absent, and yet here it was again coming back to humiliate him, one that he absolutely resented.

Your hums created a wordless melody of sweet-sounding harmonies, echoing in the winds to send it along to the other side. Until your next words that created a song had battered him with hurtful misery.

“Fly, fly away. Like a bird in the sky. See the world on my behalf, to the heavens may you fly.”

—

The sky was black tranquility married to the poetry of stars. It was the softness that called your body and brain to rest and let the heart go to its steady rhythm. Night came as a reward of sorts, a restfulness above to calm the soul.

The two of you traveled to the garden you once slept in, hoping Venti would be there. You’ve been waiting for him to come back the whole day and there was still no sign of his presence greeting you. You were nodding off as you continue and patiently await, expecting him to come back to you.

You pulled Barbatos close to your chest, absently staring off at the cecilia flowers he had come to collect for you. The petals shined brightly under the moonlit sky. Indeed it was beautiful and radiated elegance because of its pure colors and one of a kind flowery, though a feeling of sorrow ran through you the more you looked at it.

Fiddling the stem between your fingers, you brought it close to your nose, breathing in the fresh scent that reminded you of him. You were getting drowsy and drowsy as time flew by, each second felt like an hour the more you waited.

The collection of various flowers placed on the ground cushioned your fall as your petite body collapsed. Your wisp friend let out a frightened chime and summoned the winds to immediately check up on you.

A sense of relief washed away his worries that you were simply asleep and tired. It’s already time and he can feel his energy recovering— enough to alter himself back to his human form. It was all thanks to your anemo energy within you that allowed him to transmit the vitality from you to him.

He glided to the bushes, facing the small pond as it mirrored his appearance. A gentle gust of fresh air blows around him, the leaves dancing with the winds in his direction.

He has always loved the wind, for it comes to him so boldly, touching his skin. In soft breezes, it is finer than silk, smoother than water. In the gales it sings through the trees, sending loose leaves on a dancing fun air ride, hypnotic and beautiful. Almost like how the crowds have gathered around him to listen to the strumming of his lyre.

Today is almost still and he found himself in silent anticipation. His gaze went back on the rippling water, reflecting his appearance once again. Turquoise optics stared right back at him, eyes casting downwards to his chest while his fingers trailed over the same marks drawn on your body.

His pale skin allowed the symbols to gleam even more in the garden. Its teal light granted him to feel the Anemo ran through his body, the powers returning him once more in need to go in search for the true beholder of the winds.

Venti turned his head to look at your sleeping form. His eyes glued to the pattern on your thigh, faintly glowing that matched with his. Now, where were his clothes? He remembered he left it here before he was reverted to a little elemental wisp.

His hands reached for the white top that draped on the tree’s branch, slipping his arms on the sleeves and slowly buttoning up his shirt before leaving the top open to observe the marks drawn on his chest. The more he looks at the patterns inscribed on both yours and his skin, the more his heart raced in incitement and interest.

His hands hovered to his mouth to hide the wide smile and blush that clambered up on his front. This is bad, really bad. He was smiting for you all over again just like before. It reminded him that he was the one who covered you with these and how much you enjoyed it when he was creating it for you.

His throat bobbed before shaking his head to erase the thoughts, letting himself focus to get dressed. Venti had finally finished wearing his attires, leaving the cape and midsection outfit left on the ground, not bothering to wear it anymore. He carefully approached your unconscious form and knelt down to brush your hair away that had fallen from your face.

Your soft skin felt ticklish as you squirm in your sleep when his fingers brushed your cheeks. You slowly opened your eyes revealing the kindly tranquil of [eye color] orbs and met gaze with him.

Your entire body system awoke, the exhaustion was all but gone when you immediately pulled him into a tight hug. Venti wrapped his arms around you and cradled you in his arms, kissing your head as a greeting.

You buried your face on the crook of his neck and clutched onto his shirt firmly. "Where have you been?" Your voice wavered when you asked if he could faintly hear your soft sobs against him. “Sorry for the sudden disappearance. Something… came up.” His words trailed off causing his excuse not to be really effective which he already expected to happen.

There’s nothing he can do about it when he is in that situation, but he was very reassured that he can finally hold you close to him. Not being able to show his affection for you was unbearable especially how you were so worried about where he had gone off to.

The subtle kisses on his neck made his focus go back to you. Every time you place them there, he knew he’d adore you for all time. Those sweet kisses on his neck made his heart quivered as he pulled you close to him and lifted your head to meet with his gaze.

The pout on your face induced him to want to shower you with kisses and apologize for leaving you all alone. His lips pressed against your head then close to your eye, from your nose to your cheeks then down to your lips.

He was firm and gentle as he pulled you in, burning your lips with his mouth. You can hear the soft whisper of his breath as he exhaled. Venti inched closer and encircled his hand with yours, lightly pushing you down onto the ground as he penned you between him.

His mouth moved downwards leaving a trail of kisses on your skin until he stopped on your neck. You whimpered as your body shuddered when he lightly nipped on it, giving small sucks that had you released a small cry.

Even without telling a soul, it was common knowledge that both of you were lovesick and amorous. It was in the way your gaze lingered on one another, the way your voice became softer, and in coquettish smiles that he’d never worn before whenever he’s with you.

#genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #yandere genshin impact x reader #yandere genshin x reader #venti x reader #genshin impact venti x reader #yandere venti x reader #genshin impact venti #yandere venti #genshin impact reader insert #genshin x reader #yandere #yandere genshin impact #elliwrites #Illusory Sense

327 notes · View notes

totalbetty · 2 years

Text

Touch || Lee Jeno - II.

description | In a world where everyone has a soulmate, but not everyone is destined to meet their other half, Ru didn't think she could be an exception. After all, what kind of story starts with an ordinary, teenage orphan like her? However, all that changed when her eyes met his: big, dark and mysterious.

chapter six.

The hallways were unusually quiet when Jeno walked out of detention. For the past three weeks, he had been spending every hour after school in class with Donghyuck and Renjun because of their fight with Jinwook.

He peeked into the small window of the detention room door, making eye contact with Renjun and Donghyuck, who were glaring back at him indignantly. Jeno grinned, trying to hold back laughter as he shook his head.

Idiots, he muttered to himself as he walked away.

On Fridays, seniors had an hour of mandatory self-study for their last period, but because the three of them had detention, they had to miss it. This was actually a good thing for them, because it meant that they would still be dismissed at the same time as all the other students, unlike during the other days of the week.

The four of them would normally go home together, but ever since the detention they were only able to do so on Fridays. Stupidly, Donghyuck and Renjun's non-stop bickering in detention just cost them another hour today. So it seemed the four of them couldn't even walk home together now.

He would feel bad for Jaemin walking alone on all the other days, but he had recently started walking home with Ru, instead— it turned out that they all actually lived within walking distance of each other.

Jeno still felt weird about how close they all had magically become in the past few weeks; ever since Jaemin invited her to lunch that day, he would do the same everyday and she would always come and eat lunch with them. The other boys eventually warmed up to her, too, talking to her during some classes they shared together and after school.

Despite the amount of time they were spending together— eating lunch and walking home together on Fridays— he still hadn't spoken to her much. For someone who really wanted him to talk to Ru, his friends sure gave him no chances to do so— they were always talking to her and taking all the attention. Not that he was complaining, though; he wouldn't have known what to say to her, anyway.

Jeno walked through the empty hallways, zipping up his grey hoodie as he skipped down the stairs. The hard impact of his foot against the floor actually brought back the subtle pang on the back of his head, reminding him of the dull pain just above his neck. He'd normally be annoyed by it, but today the headache wasn't so bad; it just felt like weight on his head.

Just as he landed on the bottom of the stairs, he felt a faint buzzing in his pocket from his cellphone. He fished it out to find that he had a few text messages from Jaemin:

Jaem: Yo I skipped last period for a group project

Jaem: You guys go home without me

Jaem: Wait for Ru outside the mini mart

Right— Ru. He sighed, now internally cursing Donghyuck and Renjun for getting an extra hour in detention. He stuffed his phone back into his pocket, zipping up his hoodie again in annoyance (the stupid thing always unzips!).

He walked out of his school building and into the schoolyard. It was a bright day out; the scattered crowd of students were rushing home or off to the next place. He squeezed his way through the crowd, feeling the increasing heat as he avoided the loud and rowdy students.

When the school mini mart finally came into view, he scanned the area around it to see if he could find her. As if on cue, he spotted the familiar head of silky, black hair swinging as she plodded towards the mini mart and disappeared through its glass doors.

He contemplated meeting her in the store, but something kept him rooted on the spot. Instead, he stood there patiently as he waited for her to walk out. He expected her to take a while, but she was out of the store in under two minutes, having bought way more than he expected her to. He raised his eyebrows in amusement, watching her struggle to carry all of the jelly drinks she had bought in her arms.

She quickly took a seat at a vacant bench nearby, laying all the drinks beside her and ripping open the cap off her first drink. She gulped it down as she stared into the air with a glum look on her face. The taste of the cold, strawberry jelly drink down her throat calmed her down, but even the sweet taste in her mouth couldn't replace a bitter feeling.

She had worked so hard for that chapter test, completing all the optional tasks and bombarding the teacher with questions about the material, but she still got a 56%. She sighed, wondering why she even tried so hard for math. It didn't help that their teacher always made sure to make the test twice as hard as all the practice and reviewers.

At least it's a Friday and she could have a break from school, however short it may be. Maybe walking home with the boys will help her feel better.

Where are they, anyway? Jaemin was usually always the one waiting for her on the bench—

"That's a lot of drinks."

She flinched in shock, looking up to her right to see Jeno standing there. His eyes stared curiously at her, causing her to avert her eyes in nervousness.

"Yeah, um—" she stood up, collecting the drinks sheepishly, still avoiding his eyes— "rough day, I guess."

"Want one?" She spun her body to face him and held out the drink, internally cringing at how high her voice came out to sound.

"Thanks." He gave her a subtle smile as he took the drink pouch, unscrewing the cap to take a sip.

"Um, where are the others?" Ru asked just as she finished stuffing all her drinks into her bag, slinging it over her shoulder.

"Jaemin had to leave for a group project and the other two are stuck an extra hour of detention."

"Ah," she nodded her head stiffly.

There was a brief moment of silence against the chaos of people around them; she racked her brain trying to respond or say anything, but it was like her throat was blocked. Luckily, he looked at her first and asked, "are you ready?"

She looked up at him, giving him a quick nod and a timid smile. He looked away and started walking slightly ahead of her. She waddled to keep up with his pace, his long legs taking big steps through the crowd. Towards the gates of the school, the crowd started to tighten and Ru found herself being pushed left and right by other students.

Jeno may be a tall person, but it didn't stop him from slipping in between people easily. Maybe it was Ru's lack of coordination, but her small figure— supposedly an advantage in this situation— was of no use to her. In fact, it felt like nobody even noticed she was standing there.

Is it always this crowded?, she wondered to herself as she tried staying close behind Jeno.

She focused her sight on him as he calmly pushed his way between two other students in front of them. However, just as he passed them, they began to close in on each other, gradually blocking her from him and pushing her back. Desperate, she did the first thing that came to her mind— she reached out and grabbed onto the back of his grey hoodie, latching onto the thick and soft fabric.

He must've noticed, because he stopped and turned around, slightly wide-eyed. Seeing that it was Ru holding onto his hoodie, his eyes softened. Without saying a word, he took her hand in his and began to pull her gently, leading her through the crowd.

Her breath hitched as she felt his warm hand against her's. She tried her best to focus on her footing to avoid tripping in the crowd, but she just couldn't distract herself from his soft hand. His hand was much bigger compared to her small and skinny hand; it was wrapped tightly around her like a glove.

She barely even noticed that they were finally out of the crowd, and was only snapped back to reality when he finally let go of her hand, letting it fall to her side. Suddenly, her hand felt cold. She fought to keep her disappointment from showing, looking down at the ground.

Luckily, he was none the wiser; he only gave her a vague look before he continued to walk, slower this time. She stayed silent as they walked, now side-by-side. Every once in a while, she would sneak in a glance, wondering if he felt awkward like she did; he always looked nonchalant and unbothered.

They rounded a corner, entering a stretch of road lined up with little shops and cafes. She tried to occupy herself with the various store displays and signs. Until now, it never really dawned on her the abundance of cafes located on this street; in the few minutes they've been walking, she'd already spotted about six differently decorated cafes. Some were cutesy and others were more retro; she even managed to spot a comic-themed cafe.

However, one thing all these cafes had in common was that they were all crowded— occupied by friends of all ages: co-workers stepping out for a quick drink, teenage girls still in their uniforms and just laughing about. She glanced at them, feeling a twang of jealousy.

She eyed a group of girls, giggling amongst each other as they walked out of one cafe. Her eyes continued to follow them as they made their way past a tiny arts and crafts store at the end of the street, disappearing past the corner. She wondered where those girls were going off to. Maybe they were going to a karaoke room, and possibly afterwards they would go to each others' houses if they had spare time—

"Do you wanna go in?"

Jeno's voice snapped her out of her own thoughts. Her eyes darted between the now slightly confused boy and the arts and crafts store he gestured at. She didn't even realize that she had stopped walking to stare at the group of girls— and to him, the arts and crafts store.

She didn't really know how to explain to him that she had just been creepily watching a group of teenage girls, so she did the next best thing she could think of. Once again, she looked into his anticipating eyes and gave him a quick nod. "Yes, please."

He put his hands in his pockets, letting her lead the way. She skipped up the steps and into the arts and crafts store, Jeno following in closely behind her. The store was so much more cramped than she had expected it to be. There was only one aisle, packed completely on both sides. An array of supplies were displayed on the walls, some dangling so close to the ceiling that Ru couldn't even see them properly.

She held onto her bag with one hand, afraid it'll knock over something if she wasn't careful. She scanned the supplies, stunned by how they seemed to have everything for such a small store. They had all sorts of glues, scissors, ribbons, paints, pins and—

Buttons!, she gasped internally, waddling over to the buttons section.

There was a tray filled with all kinds of buttons in all kinds of shapes. She picked up a few, feeling them excitedly in her hands and trying to pick her favorite. Jeno, who had been occupied by the surprisingly complete collection of paint in the other aisle had finally met her side, looking over her shoulder.

"Buttons?" He asked, his head tilted slightly.

"Mhmm," she replied in a singsong voice, a little too engrossed in the overwhelming options to remember her awkwardness with him.

He bit his lower lip as he observed her enthusiasm, totally unbeknownst to her. She was smiling to herself, constantly looking between two fabric buttons she held up before her. He fought a smile as he watched her put one button down, only to pick it back up almost a second later in contemplation. Suddenly, she turned around swiftly and faced him; shocked by her sudden movement, he leaned backwards and almost tripped, but he was quick to regain his composure. She didn't even notice he almost tripped; she was beaming as she held one button in her hand.

"I'm getting this one!" She showed him a fabric button with a daisy flower pattern on it.

He narrowed his eyes. "Just one?"

"I think they'll allow it," she shrugged nonchalantly, turning to walk to the cashier.

She rummaged through her bag until she found her wallet, quickly grabbing the money she needed as she reached the counter. Behind the counter was a gloomy-looking man in his 50s, sitting as he rested his head on his hand.

"One button, please," she announced sweetly as she placed the button on the counter.

The store-owner looked at her and grunted, "you have to buy at least two buttons."

"Oh," she muttered. Well, that's stupid.

She was ready to turn around and get another button when Jeno's hand reached past her, placing another button on the counter— it was the one she had contemplated on getting, the fabric button with a red poppy flower pattern.

She gave him an appreciative smile as she paid for the buttons. The man took the money quickly and gave them a quick nod. She picked up her daisy button, admiring it for a brief moment before stuffing it into her front pocket.

Jeno took the other button and held it out to her. "Here."

She shook her head subtly and pushed his hand back. "No, you can keep that one."

Jeno looked at her dubiously, but complied; he took out his wallet and slipped the button in between its pockets. The sudden realization that she had just given him a single button finally registered in her head and she felt her cheeks heat up as she looked away.

To avoid the further silence between them, she turned and led the way back through the aisle towards the exit. However, a few other people had entered the store since, blocking the path. She shuffled awkwardly, trying to find a path between the people, but they kept moving around. It seemed like they didn't even notice she and Jeno were trying to pass; they continued talking amongst themselves, now moving down in their direction.

She took a few steps back to let them pass but they only took up more space, forcing her to the corner of the already cramped store.

Seriously?, she sighed in exasperation, wondering if they've ever heard of the concept of personal space.

She took one more step backwards, but landed on something softer than the ground. She was quick to realize it was Jeno's foot.

Wide-eyed, she lifted her leg immediately. "Oh, shit, sorry—"

Flustered, she started to lose balance in the tight space. Before she could even try to regain her balance, however, she felt a pair of firm hands grab her waist, steadying her.

She held her breath as he pulled her in closer until her back was completely leaning on him. She felt a comforting warmth against her as she tried her best to regain her composure.

Oh god, they were so close.

She focused on his chest on her back, feeling it rise and fall subtly, and prayed he couldn't hear the violent thumping of her heart. She didn't dare move; his touch felt paralyzing and it felt like any sudden movement would cause her chest to explode.

After the moment in which Ru was convinced happened in slow motion, the ignorant group of people in front of them finally passed. Ru let go of her breath, feeling weirdly relieved.

"Come on," he gestured softly as his grip on her slowly loosened, still hovering over her waist.

Suddenly feeling extremely claustrophobic and giddy, Ru took quick steps out of the store and down the steps as he followed behind her. She realized she was walking a little too quickly, though, so she slowed down until he caught up with her. They made the corner, walking side-by-side again down a more quiet neighborhood; it further emphasized the silence between them.

How could he be so calm? She couldn't even muster up the courage to look in his direction; she knew she didn't do anything in particular, but she felt flustered anyway.

He must think she's absolutely boring, buying a single button, and for what? She was lucky he didn't ask, because she wasn't quite sure how to explain it without sounding pathetic.

But then again, she would be surprised if he did ask. She noticed that he didn't talk much, even when he was with his friends, let alone with her. He only spoke when spoken to or when he wanted to point something out.

She started to wonder if maybe he was only like this because she was around. She probably did make things awkward between the two of them ever since she assumed that they were soulmates. Ugh, why did she have to do that? She felt so sure at the time, but now she realized how delusional and embarrassing it must've sounded, regardless of whether or not he was actually her soulmate.

She tried not to think about it, focusing on the quaint little houses and the small 24 hour convenience store in the middle of all their houses. Before she knew it, they were standing in front of the tiny little gate to her house— the Choi's.

Her hands clammed on tightly to the shoulder straps of her backpack, swinging slightly as she turned to face him. "So... this is my place."

"It is," he said in a matter-of-fact tone, his hands now buried deep into his pockets.

"Alright, um, bye." She smiled awkwardly.

He nodded subtly, turning around in the direction of his neighborhood. She did the same, cringing at how awkward she must've sounded when she said bye.

You know what? She took a deep breath, mustering up whatever courage she had left for today, and turned around.

"Jeno?" She called out.

He was already a few steps ahead, but he stopped and turned, looking at her expectantly.

"Thank you," she blurted, her voice coming out a little softer than she anticipated, "for, um— for sending me home."

There was a brief, anticipating moment before his eyes softened again. His lips broke into a small, yet wholesome smile, his eyes warm and welcoming. She couldn't help but grin, feeling a lot of the awkwardness fade away.

She turned and began to unlock her gate, feeling her cheeks warm up. Just as she was about to open her gate, she heard the familiar, deep voice call out. "Ru?"

Once again, she turned her head; the wind was now blowing past her, causing the stray hairs on her head to cover part of her face. The warm, orange hue of the sunset was cast lightly against Jeno's face, giving his skin a surreal glow.

Their eyes met one last time, and he said, "thanks for the button."

This time, she couldn't contain her smile; her lips curved into the cheekiest smile, her eyes squinted in contentment. He turned around swiftly and started walking away, letting go of a breath he didn't even know he was holding. It was hard to explain the feeling in his chest— like it had been kissed by the sun.

It was a feeling he couldn't quite ignore.

________________________________________

chapter seven.

"You got a 56% for the chapter test?" Donghyuck asked her, his eyes wide.

"I did—" Ru gave him a scornful look— "which is why I can't fail this next test."

"I thought you were, like, smart?" Donghyuck continued, raising his eyebrows.

She held back the urge to throw a pencil at him. She didn't even answer before Renjun came to her rescue. "Doesn't really matter how smart you are, Mr. Yang is crazy with his tests. He gives them too much and too hard."

Ru nodded back in complete agreement. "Exactly! Math with Mr. Yang is impossible; I'm just studying to pass at this point."

She pouted as she looked back at her notes, taking a spoonful off her lunch tray. She had been re-hashing her notes the entire lunch period, listing down parts of the chapter she was still confused about so she could ask Mr. Yang during the self-study period coming up, but the noisy cafeteria crowd kept causing her to lose her train of thoughts.

She groaned, feeling her mind swivel with all the numbers and steps. "Renjun, you're good at math, right? Can you help me with some questions later in study period?"

He gave her a fake pout, obviously finding her frustration slightly amusing. "I've got detention, remember?"

Right. She totally forgot that the three of them still had that. At least today was their last day and starting next Monday, they'll be free from spending every dismissal time sitting and listening to Mr. Park snore.

She looked up, staring mindlessly at the crowd when she spotted Jeno and Jaemin entering the cafeteria, chatting amongst themselves as they made their way towards their table.

"Yo," Jaemin greeted when they arrived at the table. He sat down across from her, laying down all the snacks they bought downstairs at the school mini mart.

"Alright!" Donghyuck stood up and reached across the table to grab at the snacks, hovering over Ru and Renjun's lunch and blocking their sight.

Renjun shoved Donghyuck playfully, causing him to recoil back into his seat with a little 'ow', but was still satisfied with the snack he managed to retrieve. She giggled at them, shaking her head playfully. Jaemin continued to distribute the snacks, handing her one strawberry jelly drink. Jeno took his seat next to her and they exchanged a quick, subtle smile before she looked back down at her notebook.

Ever since they walked home from school together last week, she started to feel less awkward around him. He probably felt the same, judging by the way he didn't completely ignore her like he used to. It was probably because up until then, the only thing that they had in common was the whole soulmate assumption. Ru was just glad the boys never talked about it anymore, and it seemed like Jeno had forgotten about it— she wasn't going to remind them and make things weird again.

This week so far, they had given each other silent greetings whenever they passed each other in the hallways, and she felt so much less intimidated whenever they had conversations during lunch. That's not to say that she doesn't still get a little nervous whenever he's around. She just hoped it wasn't obvious— so far, he seemed totally clueless.

"Ruuuu," Jaemin nagged her, dragging out her name, "you should be eating, not burying your head in your book."

Jeno scoffed in a mock tone. "You do the exact same thing during finals week."

Jaemin narrowed his eyes in response. "Yeah, well, this is not the finals. Besides, the test is still next week!" He turned to face Ru. "We should skip study period and get bubble tea down the street, and then we'll come back for the boys after they've finished detention—" he turned and stared at each boy, giving them a hard and mocking glare.

Ru was so engrossed in her textbook that she had barely registered what Jaemin had suggested. Donghyuck, on the other hand, looked displeased. "You're gonna leave and buy bubble tea without us? Shame on you, you—"

"Relax—" Jaemin gave him a jaded expression— "we'll buy you one too."

Donghyuck immediately sank back in his seat, quieting down. "One honeydew bubble tea, less sugar, please— thank youuu!" He gave Jaemin a cheeky smile.

Ru looked up from her textbook, finally registering the conversation. "Oh, I'm sorry, I can't—" she pouted at Jaemin— "I have a lot of material I need to ask Mr. Yang about and today's perfect because he's supervising my study period."

Jaemin gave her a reassuring smile. "Don't worry, at least your reason is excusable."

Once again, he glared at the other boys in a joking manner, causing Jeno to laugh as he rolled his eyes, and Donghyuck to fake-gasp.

"It's not like we chose to get detention!" Donghyuck defended himself. "Honestly if it was anyone's fault, it's Renjun's; it was his mom that asshole used to trigger us."

Renjun stood up from his seat. "You threw the first punch, dipshit—" he raised his hand to slap Donghyuck, causing him to raise his hands in mercy, muttering 'sorry' continuously.

The others simply laughed once again at their constant bickering. Before Renjun could stand up and lock Donghyuck in a chokehold, however, the bell rang, signifying the end of lunch and the start of their last period for the week.

The three boys groaned as they all collected their belongings, the students all around them doing the same. Ru waved the boys goodbye as they made their way to the further exit in the direction of their detention room. Together, she and Jaemin took the nearest exit towards their own classrooms, jumbled up with the other students making their way to class.

They finally reached Ru's classroom. Before entering, Jaemin reminded her, "we'll meet up by the mini mart after dismissal, okay?"

She gave him a hearty nod before entering her classroom as Jaemin entered the next one. As usual, she picked her regular seat near the window in the middle of the class, making herself comfortable. During study period, the seat next to her was always empty so she had gotten used to taking up both tables for her notes and textbooks.

She spread out all of her papers and books until she could see all the important materials. She felt her heart deflate a little as she stared back at the abundance of notes before her. The study period had just started but she already couldn't wait for it to be over.

A couple of minutes had passed since she started on her work, occasionally going up to the teacher's desk to ask Mr. Yang about questions she had trouble answering and concepts she had trouble grasping. Just as she was walking back to her seat after having asked the teacher about a formula, she noticed two girls walking towards her spot, standing there and waiting.

Unsure of what they were doing, she took her seat and buried her head into her books, resuming her studies.

"Excuse me? Is this seat taken?" A voice called up, causing Ru to shoot up from her crouching position, looking up at two girls staring back at her.

"Oh!" She stood up immediately, rushing to gather all her things that had been scattered on the other vacant desk. "Of course, you can sit here if you, um, want."

One girl gave her a sweet smile and took a seat next to her, the other one taking a vacant seat behind Ru. Low on space, Ru decided to stuff all her non-essential books back into her bag, giving the girl next to her a subtle— if not slightly awkward— smile.

The girl returned a wide smile, revealing her perfect teeth. She had noticed this girl around her school, mostly because she was really friendly and undeniably pretty. Her long, brown hair was fashioned neatly into a braid and Ru couldn't help but notice her thick eyelashes covering her big, pretty eyes.

"I'm Jia, by the way," the girl smiled, accentuating a dimple on her cheek.

"And I'm Chohee!" The girl behind her introduced herself; Ru turned around to greet her. This other girl, Ru had also seen around; they were best friends, it seemed. She had full, chubby cheeks and the most adorable smile. Her black hair was tied into a bun, her bangs rested neatly on her forehead.

She gave them both wide smiles, feeling grateful and relieved that they had introduced themselves first. "I'm Ru— it's really nice to meet you."

"We're going out to a cafe after school," Jia mentioned as she laid out her pretty pastel books onto the table, quickly turning around to hand Chohee a highlighter, "do you want to come with us?"

They wanted her to come with them? To the cafe? She felt her heart buzz as she tried not to break out into a silly smile. "Yeah, um, okay."

She looked down, now feeling slightly embarrassed at her feeble answer. She turned to Jia once again and muttered a quick, "thank you," in which she replied with a giggly smile.

⭒⭒⭒

The boys were waiting under the bright sun, all of them squished between each other in one tiny bench by the school mini mart.

"Do you really have to crush me like this?" Jeno asked Donghyuck, his lungs suffocated from all the weight he knew Donghyuck was pushing onto him on purpose.

"You're just too comfy not to cuddle, buddy, deal with it," Donghyuck answered, cozying himself more on top of Jeno, causing him to squirm.

"Ah!" Jaemin stood up, pointing into the distance, "there she is."

Jeno swatted Donghyuck's shoulder away from his face so he could see better; they all looked across the schoolyard, scanning through the crowds simultaneously for Ru. There she was, standing on the other side of the yard, and it seemed like she was talking to someone. It was brief, however, as she began to jog their way.

"Hellooo!" Ru greeted them in a singsong manner as she pulled up her backpack strap from falling.

The rest of the boys greeted her back; Jeno tried to push Donghyuck off, only for him to giggle mischievously and envelope him in a tight hug.

"You ready to go?" Jaemin asked.

"Actually, about that," Ru began, swinging her hands timidly, "these girls from study period invited me to a cafe and I told them I'd come. Is that okay?"

"Wow, Ru, we're finally free from detention and you're ditching us?" Donghyuck loosened his grip on Jeno. "How could you?"

She gave them a guilty look. "Sorry! You should come with me, I'm sure they wouldn't mind—"

"—No, it's alright, you should go!" Jaemin urged, giving her a reassuring smile. "It sounds like a girl's thing, anyway."

She looked at them, a hint of guilt still evident on her face.

"Yeah," Jeno continued, his hands now pushing Donghyuck's arms away from his neck, "we kinda wanted to play basketball, anyway."

"Oh yeah! It's been so long since we played basketball," Donghyuck stood up in excitement, releasing Jeno from his embrace.

"Alright, then!" Ru gave them a cheeky smile, slightly bouncing on her spot now. "I'll talk to you guys soon— bye!"

With that, she turned and began skipping away towards the two girls waiting on her across the schoolyard.

"Kids," Jaemin sighed as Jeno finally stood up next to him. "They grow up so fast, huh?"

Jeno burst out laughing. "What are you, her father?"

Jaemin shoved Jeno playfully as he placed his arm over Jeno. "Oh, shut up."

"I kinda wanted to go to the cafe," Renjun muttered in a monotone voice, his shoulders slightly slouched.

Donghyuck ignored Renjun, putting his arm over him instead. "We should go to the monster court— man, I miss that place!"

Of course, he was referring to the somewhat sketchy basketball court in a nearby area that they frequented. The place was covered in all sorts of graffiti, the biggest and most visible piece of art being the mural that said 'monster'. Renjun shook his head. "Uh-uh, no— we'll definitely run into Jinkyu there..."

The boys started arguing about which basketball court they should go to, but Jeno was barely listening. His eyes were still glued on Ru, watching her until she disappeared into the crowd.

It was pretty obvious that before the boys came along, she pretty much had no friends. It wasn't surprising; she was as shy as they come. Seeing her so buzzed about hanging out with other people, Jeno couldn't help but smile a little bit; it was almost like he could feel her excitement.

Whatever emotion of her's that Jeno thought he could sense, however, was nothing compared to the mix of emotions she was feeling. She walked back to Jia and Chohee by the main entrance of the school, giving them a nervous smile.

"Sorry about that, I just had to tell my friends that I'm leaving," Ru explained, gesturing at the boys across the schoolyard.

"Oh—" Jia raised her eyebrows. She looked behind Ru, at the boys. "You should invite them to come along!"

"Oh, no, it's fine," Ru assured her, waving them off. "They wanted to play basketball."

Jia gave a quick 'ah', laughing politely. With that, the three of them made their way out through the school gates. She felt herself buzzing with excitement and slight nerves as they walked together down the street. They didn't really say much throughout their walk because it was slightly difficult to talk over all the noise.

When they finally arrived at the busy cafe (it was one of the cutesy ones Ru spotted a while back), Chohee pointed at one vacant table excitedly and the three of them beelined their way to the table before anyone else grabbed it. Jia and Ru sat down across from each other, feeling satisfied. Chohee, on the other hand, remained standing.

"I'll go and order for us," she said as she put down her backpack on her chair.

"You know my order," Jia said as she looked up briefly at Chohee, then turning towards Ru. "What do you want to drink, Ru?"

"Oh, um—" she faced Chohee, coming up with the first coffee drink she could think of— "just an iced latte, please."

Chohee gave them a quick nod and smile, before disappearing again to make their order. Ru looked at the cafe, observing the interior of the cafe and each customer around her. Truthfully, Ru was trying to look at anything but Jia; she was slightly anxious and didn't know what to say.

"Hey," Jia called, and Ru's head snapped in her direction. "I'm sorry if we stole you from another hangout just now."

"No, no, it's totally fine!" Ru laughed timidly. "I'm with them a lot during lunch, anyway."

Once again, Jia nodded her head attentively. "How did you guys become friends?"

"Oh, um—" Ru scratched her neck, thinking back to the first time they met— "I sit next to one of them in class, and he invited me to lunch."

Jia nodded in mild interest. Ru gave her an awkward smile in return; she conveniently omitted the part where she came up to Jeno and told him they were soulmates. She fought herself from cringing; it was probably best she left that out.

Chohee finally came back from the counter, plopping herself onto the sofa chair next to Jia. She placed their receipt on the table. "So, what are we talking about?"

"Nothing much. We were just talking about Ru's friends, you know—" Jia gave Chohee a subtle look— "those boys from Mr. Park's homeroom."

Chohee's mouth formed a curious little 'o' shape, her eyes now on Ru. "So, what are they like?"

Huh. What are they like? She'd never been asked that before, nor has she ever wondered about it. "I guess they're just normal—"

"—Aren't they kinda intimidating or something?" Chohee interrupted Ru, subtle curiosity now etched on her face. "Some boys said they were part of some kind of gang."

Gang? Where would anyone get such an idea? Ru chuckled in confusion, shaking her head. "I don't think they're in anything—"

"—I wouldn't be surprised if they were though," Chohee continued, unaware that she interrupted Ru again, "they totally give me bad boy vibes."

Ru blinked back in sudden contemplation. It had been a while since she felt significant pain on her soul mark, but she never did get an explanation for all those nights she did. Even though Jeno said her pain wasn't related to him, she couldn't deny that even Jaemin was really vague about their late-night endeavors.

In her mind, she always tried to explain it as boys being boys— but what if they were involved in something more?

"Okay, I think the whole gang thing might be pushing it," Jia laughed, snapping Ru out of her thoughts. "They're just sort of mysterious, I guess."

Chohee nodded in agreement, although Ru could see in her eyes she was still entertaining the idea of the boys being in some gang. Ru could only nod along, not quite sure what to make of this new view of the boys.

The only time she had ever hung out with them was during lunch and sometimes in class. In the short time that she knew them, they were nothing but normal. She scoffed at herself; how would she even know what's normal? She never really had any previous male friends she could use for comparison.

Her mind wandered to those days after school when they would walk home together; she remembered them stopping by the nearby convenience store and just buying snacks. After that, they'd always send her home and that was that— at least for her.

She stared into the distance, her curiosity starting to grow. Before she could entertain the budding mystery, however, she spotted the waiter coming in their direction with drinks in hand. He finally arrived, placing their orders on the table.

"Finally!" Chohee squealed, immediately grabbing her tall, rainbow drink. Jia and Ru followed, pulling in their drinks and each taking a sip.

Soon enough, the topic of the boys completely slipped Ru's mind as the three of them moved on to other topics, talking about things like Chohee's drama with an ex-friend, or how someone from school tried to confess to Jia. They laughed about funny school rumors, and Ru found herself laughing just as happily as they did.

Before she even realized, the sun was about to set; the streetlights outside had started to turn on, lighting up the dim streets just outside their cafe. Chohee was just showing them pictures of a cat she had found in front of her house, when Ru noticed she was struggling to draw breath. She took a deep breath, realizing that it took her more effort to inhale.

She tried to ignore it, but as the minutes passed, her breaths started shortening and soon enough, it was all she could focus on. Confused and slightly concerned, she got up from her seat and excused herself. She took quick steps past tables and towards the back, to the bathroom.

She pushed open the bathroom door hastily, locking the door behind her.

She stood in front of the mirror, closing her eyes. Why couldn't she breathe? It felt like there was an invisible weight just pushing against her chest—

She gasped, her eyes now wide open.

Jeno.

________________________________________

chapter eight.

The world around her was muted.

She forced herself to walk as quickly as she could, but everything was moving in slow motion; she was agonizingly aware of each step she took, each short breath she struggled to take in.

Her heart was pounding; she dialed a number, putting the cellphone against her ear. She had barely said goodbye to Jia and Chohee, leaving them slightly confused as she sped out of the cafe and down the street.

Any moment now, her brain had convinced her.

Any moment, she would stop breathing. It was coming, and she felt it down to her bones. She could feel her chest, the desperate rise and fall against an invisible weight she felt was winning.

Despite the difficult breaths, she knew she was breathing, but it felt like her lungs were completely devoid of oxygen.

Every part of her body was screaming at her for air— she felt like she was drowning, anxious to break through the surface of the water. But where was the surface? She wanted so badly to see it, the sight of the glimmering light shining through the ripples into the deep, blue water. She wanted that light, but where was he?

She waited impatiently as her phone continued to ring. After a few rings, it ended. Why wasn't he picking up? She dialed the number again, now rounding the corner past the arts and crafts store. She had entered a quiet neighborhood, but her head was far from silent.

She continued to walk hastily past neighborhoods and little streets, pushing through the exhaustion and wariness she felt to get to the only place she could think of, the one place she thought they might be. She had called all the boys multiple times, but none of them answered.

What started out as merely a paranoia had grown into panic and confusion, the fear of not being able to reach them eating away at her thoughts.

She rounded the final corner before she reached her destination— the basketball court. She had no idea whether this was the court they would be in; it was the only court she knew. She took slower steps this time, the lack of air finally catching up to her.

Through the court's barrier net, she could see several people playing. She squinted her eyes as she slowly trudged closer, trying to confirm if it were the boys.

Upon looking closer, she felt her shoulders slump as she realized that none of them were the boys.

The frustration and hopelessness hung over her— that and the weight against her chest seemed to have brought her to her knees as she slid down against the barrier. She tried to catch her breath as she sat on the dusty asphalt road, turning her head to watch the people playing basketball behind her.

The somehow irrational and desperate need to find Jeno and the boys was momentarily wiped out of her mind as a new feeling rolled in— alarm.

She had finally noticed the state of the basketball court— explicit graffitis sprayed across the floors and walls, the dingy houses and buildings surrounding it. Another new observation had sunk in: the fact that she was a teenage girl in an area with nobody else but big, intimidating men.

Suddenly feeling very much exposed, she got up. It seemed that nobody really noticed her presence, yet. She didn't want to make a big deal out of something that was potentially harmless, but she didn't want to stick around and wait for something that was potentially dangerous—

"You lost?" A dark voice called out from behind her.

She felt her blood run cold as she stood there, frozen. It took her a second, but she finally mustered everything in her to turn around.

A man stood just a few steps ahead of her, looking at her with curiosity. She instinctively backed away, although she couldn't do much; she took one step and flinched when she backed onto the barrier net.

"No, I, uh—" she took a sharp breath, feeling a sudden loss of air— "just went to the wrong place."

He didn't react to her answer; he just continued to stare at her with his stoic and blank expression. She felt increasingly uncomfortable and wanted to walk away, but she didn't know how to walk past him while he was staring at her like that. She hated the awkward silence; it was like anticipating something she knew was going to be regrettable.

To fill in the silence, she blurted the first thing that came to mind. "Do you know, um, any other courts near here?"

For a split second, she thought she saw him smirk. Her heart started to pound against her chest as he took slow steps towards her. Her body was screaming for her to run, her breath now scarce, but she stood rooted to the spot.

He kept walking until he was finally in front of her. She took a subtle gulp, averting her eyes from his gaze. She focused on the big dragon tattoo on his neck, slightly peeking out from under his long-sleeved jersey shirt. Oh god, this is it, isn't it? He was going to rob her or kill her—

"Give me your phone." He pulled out his hand, waiting.

She scrambled to pull out her phone, handing it to him as quickly as she could. She felt her knees buckle as she tried to keep her balance.

As much as she cherished her phone, she'd hate to imagine what he'd do if she didn't hand it to him. She watched in bated breath as he took her phone and started fiddling with it. Why wasn't he leaving?

Oh god, was he going to rob her and kill her? She bit her lips as she fought back tears, trying to rationalize the situation. He's not going to kill her, there are other people around... Unless they're all together— oh god, this is it, this is the end!

She closed her eyes, suddenly feeling lightheaded and weak. It felt like she was dying already, anyway, with her short breaths and tired legs, maybe he would be doing her a favor, ending her misery—

"There." The man finally broke the silence.

She opened her eyes to see him handing her phone back. She hesitated for a moment before taking her phone slowly and warily. The screen was bright; she looked to see, to her relief, that he had typed in a location on the map.

She sighed in relief, looking back at him. She suddenly felt sheepish about all her dramatic thoughts.

She awkwardly shifted to the side, giving him a timid bow as she muttered a soft 'thank you'. She began to walk away, taking longer steps this time until she finally walked out of that corner. Now that she was out of there, she was suddenly reminded of the heavy weight on her chest again.

She stared at the location on her phone, feeling exhausted and partially defeated. Was he okay? It was all she wanted to know. She couldn't quite explain the sudden desperation when she felt that weight on her chest.

Why was it that her immediate reaction was to search for him? It hadn't even occurred to her that she practically ran to a random, sketchy basketball court in hopes of finding him.

Her mind was suddenly brought back to the first time she approached Jeno; she had been so sure then. Now, it had been turned into nothing more than a silly afterthought, a crazy idea they had dismissed— well, he dismissed. She pretended it was nothing solely for the sake of not embarrassing herself further. However, something in her wanted one last chance, a final test to see if everything really was just in her imagination.

Just as she entered a silent and empty neighborhood, her phone screen lit up again. This time it was Jaemin's name that popped up, calling her. She picked up the call immediately, feeling a hint of hope.

"Hey Ru—" she heard his slightly choppy voice through the phone— "sorry we didn't answer your calls. What's up?"

"Where are you guys?" she asked, not realizing she was somewhat talking in a whisper.

"We're heading home," he replied. "What about you?"

Ignoring his question, she continued. "Actually, can I talk to Jeno?"

"Oh, Jeno's not with us. He left a while back, had somewhere to be."

What? The remaining paranoia she had came bubbling up again. "Where is he?"

"Um..." She heard Jaemin hesitate for a moment. "I'm not really sure."

They didn't know where he was either? Her heart started to beat faster, her curiosity peaking. "Listen— I actually really need to talk to him. Do you have any idea where he might be?"

"Uh, honestly, he left in quite a hurry. I think he just wants to be alone right now." Jaemin explained, clearing his throat. "Maybe you should talk to him some other time."

There was something about the way he said his last sentence, it was like he didn't want her to go looking for Jeno. Was there something they weren't telling her? She bit her lip, feeling hopeless.

Should she wait for him until he came back? She didn't know if she could take just waiting, but she couldn't seem to explain to Jaemin why she needed to see him so badly. Well, she could, but something held her back from telling them about what she felt on her soul mark.

She sighed.

"Yeah, I guess—" she paused, the weight on her chest now making her feel faint.

No, she had to find him.

"Actually, no— Jaemin, I think it's kind of urgent."

She expected an answer from him, but instead, she could only hear subtle crackling and shuffling on the other line, like Jaemin was moving the phone around; in the background, she could hear soft, incoherent muttering. Suddenly, another voice came on the line.

"Hey Ru, it's Renjun; where are you?" A softer voice filled her ear.

She looked around her, not exactly sure where she was. "I was just at a court looking for you, but um, do you happen to know where Jeno is?"

She hoped Renjun might have a bit of a clue, but he was even worse than Jaemin; he completely ignored her and started talking about an entirely different topic.

"Ah, I see. Hey, remember when you asked me about the bookstore where I got that anti-stress coloring book? You know, you're actually not that far away from it. Just pass the intersection by that farmers market, it'll be across the street from the park, in a little alleyway."

What in the world was he talking about?

"Renjun, I don't know what book you're talking about—" She tried to take another deep breath, struggling as the weight continued to press on her— "I just want to find Jeno."

"It'll be there, I promise." Renjun replied.

Ru stood there in silence, completely baffled by him. She didn't even know what to make of this conversation anymore.

"What will be there? The book? Renjun, I'm not looking for a book—"

"—It's what you're looking for, right?"

"No, I'm looking for Jeno." She emphasized on his name, feeling slightly frustrated.

"Yes, exactly."

Exactly? The words echoed in her mind—

All of a sudden, it clicked.

"Are you telling me Jeno's in the bookstore?" She asked hopefully.

"No, across the street."

Hm... Across the street? From the bookstore?

"In the park?"

"Yup," Renjun replied in a satisfied tone.

She broke into a smile, feeling hopeful again. "Thank you so much, Renjun!"

"Alright, bye then," Renjun replied sweetly.

She hung up the phone, feeling a new rush of energy. The sun had completely disappeared by now, leaving her with only the street lamps and the subtle moonlight to guide her.

She broke into a sprint, going as fast as she could with short breaths. She took a left instead of her usual right, down to the main road and towards the intersection.

Just like Renjun told her, she found herself running past the farmers market; the stands were dark and quiet, as it was closed for the night. Past the busy streets and honking cars she went, her eyes peeled for the park. After a few minutes of running, she finally saw the public park just across the street.

She started to slow down as she finally reached the entrance of the park, stopping to catch her breath. The park was darker than she anticipated, and so much more deserted, too. There were only a few street lamps that illuminated the otherwise dark place.

The trees blocked whatever little moonlight was left as she walked into the park. She scanned the area, but saw nobody. She took her phone and dialed Jeno's number again, feeling nervous and apprehensive about being alone at night.

She listened to the sound of the dialing against the nighttime ambience, her ears peeled for any noises. After a few attempts with no answers, she gave up and put her phone back in her pocket.

This is impossible, she thought to herself.

She stared at the empty and deserted park around her and groaned.

What was she doing here? Did she really run all the way here because of some stupid, delusional feeling? Okay, maybe her barely being able to breathe wasn't exactly stupid or delusional, but regardless of that, she felt a rush of embarrassment. She realized that she had ran across places looking for someone who probably wanted to be alone, someone who probably didn't want to see her right now.

Suddenly, the past few weeks flashed before her mind: always knowing who she was going to sit with whenever she went for lunch, always having someone to go home with. It took her some time to realize, but she really liked having the boys around. Things were going great without her mentioning soulmates, and she didn't want that to change. She had been trying hard not to push anything and to just let it go, so why should she push things now?

She walked past a particularly large tree at the centre of the park, dragging her feet as she walked. She really shouldn't be here—

She stopped dead in her tracks. Her eyes met his, and in that exact moment, she felt an exhilarating rush of air invade her lungs. She took in a deep and comforting breath, but held it as the two of them stood in silence and surprise.

Her eyes shifted down to the bouquet of flowers wrapped around his hand. The splash of colors on his bouquet were a big contrast to his dark figure, standing solemnly under the moonlight.

She stood frozen to the ground as Jeno walked towards her until he was finally a few steps from her. "Ru?"

She held her breath. "Hi."

She looked into his eyes— they were much darker, and they stared back at her coldly.

"What are you doing here?"

"I, uh—" she felt his gaze burning holes in her eyes, but she couldn't look away— "just felt like I needed to check if you were alright."

He sighed in defeat, turning around as he muttered sarcastically, "why? Did your soul mark tell you I wasn't?"

Ouch.

Her eyebrows furrowed as she took an unconscious step backwards. His tone stung, and she felt the frustration she had pushed away bubble up to the surface. She watched him walk away and it made her feel pathetic— she hated it.

"You know what?" Her voice quivered, but it echoed around her; he stopped in his tracks, still facing away from her. "It actually did. I know you don't believe me and you think I'm stupid or— or delusional for thinking we might be soulmates, but at least, at least I'm trying to figure this out."

She clenched her jaw, feeling her frustration growing. Suddenly, she felt the injustice, the heat piling in her throat. "You're not even trying! You're not even giving it a chance— you know, you'd be better off telling me you don't care at all—"

"I told you—" his voice was just a little more than a murmur— "it's just not possible."

She huffed in anger. "Why? Why is it so impossible? Is it so hard to believe—"

Her words were cut short, startled as he turned around and glowered at her.

"I don't have a soul mark."

Her breath hitched; she felt her lungs heat up.

What?

She felt a sudden, new weight on her chest— guilt.

She blinked uneasily, watching as his grip on the bouquet tightened. He looked away from her and she couldn't think to do anything else but stand there as he made his way to the large tree, sitting under it.

All she wanted to do was to disappear, right then and there. She scrunched her nose as she watched him, unsure of what to do. Slowly, she made her way towards him, sitting on a patch of grass next to him.

She gulped, afraid to look at him even though she knew he wasn't looking at her. "I'm sorry."

He stayed silent, still facing the street in front of the park. Oh god, he must be mad.

She couldn't blame him, though; she assumed they were soulmates, and seeing her since must be some sort of bitter reminder that he lost his soulmate. Just like that, the frustration she had built up faded away. She cursed herself internally for being so ignorant.

As much as she was terrified to say anything, she couldn't stand the tension lingering in the silence; she cleared her throat subtly. "When did you lose—"

"—I didn't lose my soul mark," he cut over her, still looking ahead. "I never had one."

What? How is that possible?

"But I thought everyone has a soul mark at least at one point in their lives."

He sighed, shrugging weakly. "Apparently not."

She looked over at him and this time, she didn't look away— she couldn't look away. His eyes were glistening under the dim streetlights. His eyes looked kind, but they were sorrowful; one look and it felt like she was mourning with him. Her gaze shifted down to his lips; they were slightly parted, red as ever.

She looked at his veiny hands, watching as he picked the petals off his bouquet absent-mindedly. She was suddenly brought back to last week, his soft hands on her's, like a silent comfort. Now all she wanted to do was wrap her hand around his, because truthfully, she wanted him to be okay, too.

"You know," she interrupted the silence, her voice barely above a whisper, "soulmate or not, I'm still a friend."

He finally looked at her, a subtle smile visible on his face. "Thanks."

He looked back ahead, and they were left in silence once again. She hadn't really taken the time to speculate before, but now she started to wonder why he had a bouquet. She contemplated asking, but she decided against it; she's done enough prying for tonight.

She looked at the line of shops across the street, wondering what he could be looking at. It was strange how calm she felt at this moment. The grass below her felt warm and the crickets were singing her a soft lullaby.

Suddenly, Jeno gestured at a store across the street, breaking the silence.

"Do you see that salon across the street?"

She followed the direction of his stare; she focused on the row of shops until she finally found a brightly-lit salon towards the right of the street. She nodded slowly, looking at him curiously.

"It used to be an ice cream parlor," he stated simply. His lips parted into a sweet smile, his eyes still glued to the shop.

"My mom and I used to go there all the time, just the two of us. Whenever I was having a bad day or when dad had one of his tempers, she'd get the car keys and we'd drive there together. I always ordered the green tea flavor and she would order this orange pistachio flavored one.

Then we'd walk across the street and sit here, under this tree. We'd share our ice cream and just talk; her ice cream was weird—" he let out a soft chuckle— "but each time she'd say: one of these days you'll start to like them."

Ru smiled at his anecdote; still, there was something melancholic about the memory. She felt her heart beat loudly in her chest, waiting for him to continue. However, he stayed silent.

"Do you like them now?" she asked.

He paused for a moment.

"I don't know, haven't tried it again since she passed."

There it was. She felt her heart fall, watching his empty expression. This must've been why he brought the bouquet. She spotted the roses on his hands and watched him continue to pick apart the roses in mournful silence.

"She must've been an amazing mother," Ru said, watching his expression closely.

He broke into a longing smile. "She was, yeah."

"You know, the last time I ever sat here with her, she told me that not having a soul mark was my blessing, because the universe expected nothing of me. She told me that the soul mark only works in favor of the lucky ones. For everyone else, it's like the universe reserved your happily ever after for anyone but you.

I didn't get why she said it then. My parents— they weren't soulmates, but I thought we were happy. Two weeks later, four years ago today—" he paused, his jaw clenching— "my dad killed her."

No. She watched the grief in his eyes and felt her heart break.

She felt the strong urge to hug him, as if she could hug the pieces of his heart back together. At that moment, she wanted nothing more than for him to be okay. But she wasn't brave enough to touch him. Instead, she just whispered, "I'm sorry."

He looked into her eyes and gave her a grateful smile. There was a subtle pause, before he continued, "you know, you'll find your soulmate. You have a tether now; he'll find you."

This time, she smiled gratefully at him. She tried to shake away the lingering intuition she had about him, the remaining pull she felt towards him; she was just glad to have him.

"We'll figure it out," she announced, catching his attention, "why you don't have a soul mark. I'll help you."

"Alright—" he cleared his throat, moving his legs so he was now facing her— "I help you find your soulmate, and you help me find out why I don't have one."

"Deal?" He held up his hand for Ru to shake.

She held back a giggle as she reached to shake his hand. Once again, she felt his soft hands against her's and felt warmth radiate throughout her body. A smile lingered on her face as they let go.

"By the way—" she looked down at the bouquet he had laid down next to him, trying hard not to laugh— "I don't know how to say this, but your flower's bald now."

Instinctively, he looked down at his bouquet to find that he had plucked off majority of the rose petals off. He stared at them, speechless. It was silent for a split second, before he burst into laughter. She couldn't hold back her laughter anymore; she let out a hearty giggle.

"Here, give it to me—" she gestured for the bouquet in between fits of giggles.

She took the bouquet and they both stood up under the tree. She looked through the bouquet and searched for anything she could salvage. She pulled out two crimson roses and a white rose, primping its petals gently. She turned to Jeno, giving him the three roses.

"Three roses to tell someone you love them."

She looked into his big eyes; she watched them soften, a rare part of him she never thought she'd get to know. He took the roses from her hand, their fingers brushing slightly. She looked away, trying to ignore the warmth on her cheeks, or the shiver down her spine.

He kneeled down, laying the flowers gently against the tree before he stood back up next to her. Together, they stared down at the roses.

She mourned a tragedy and he mourned a memory.

_________________________________________

chapter nine.

Ru stood in front of her gate, basking under the warm sunlight. The neighborhood was quiet and peaceful, with only the occasional chirping of birds.

She checked her phone for the time. He should be here soon.

Her eyes wandered between the houses around her, and she observed how cozy each of the houses were. She looked at the pretty little flowers on her neighbor's yard, the tiny pond on another's.

Her eyes landed on the swing just a few houses down. She stared at its bright, red color. She didn't even realize, but she started walking towards the house. She stood just behind their fence, watching the idle, red swing.

It looked so much like a child's swing, but she realized that she had never actually seen a child play on it before. Now that she thought about it, she had never actually seen anyone out and about on the yard before. She started to wonder about the residents of the house. Well, just because it looks like a child swing, doesn't mean that it has to be for kids—

"Hey," a low and soft voice called out from behind her.

She let out a little yelp, turning around. She sighed in relief when she saw that it was just Jeno, who was now chuckling at her. She shook her head as she watched his eyes crinkle in laughter. His bright smile and slightly scrunched nose brought a little smile to her face as well. It was hard to look away; a part of her wanted to watch him this way forever, but she caught herself and looked away, embarrassed.

"What were you looking at?" He asked, a smile still evident on his face.

She stuttered, not really knowing what to say. "Um, nothing really, just, uh— admiring the house, I guess."

She didn't give him a chance to respond and started walking slowly ahead of him. Together, they strolled down the street in the warm breeze. She hadn't really given it much thought before, but it finally dawned on her: they were going to the library, just the two of them.

She felt oddly giddy; her feet felt light and her hands swung on her sides like balloons. The last time she spent time with just him, she was so much more fidgety. It was probably all the nerves from the soulmate thing. Now, she felt so much lighter— perhaps a little too light.

She thought back to the arts and crafts store, about the buttons she bought. She stole him a glance, wondering if he had kept the poppy button. She wanted to ask him about it, but before she could, he filled in the silence first.

"So, tell me again—" Jeno cleared his throat, walking beside her with his hands in his big, red jacket— "why are we going to the library? You know, we have this thing— it's called the internet."

She gave him a look, rolling her eyes playfully.

"Seriously, though," he continued, "shouldn't everything be on the internet?"

She held onto the strap of her bag, looking on both sides of the street before they crossed a short crosswalk. "Well, we could and I did, but most of the sites only provide generic information; none of them actually gave a straight, detailed answer."

"However, the websites did reference a whole list of books for more extensive research—" she fished a small piece of paper from her pocket, waving it at him— "some of which I listed down here."

"You did?" He asked, raising his eyebrow.

He took the paper from her, observing the list of books Ru had written down. He chuckled, surprised at how diligent she was about this. There were six books on the list, with titles such as 'Soulmate Phenomenon' and 'The Science of Soulmates'.

They continued walking in silence; it was hard to talk anyway, as they started to enter a busier area. The public library wasn't a far walk from their neighborhood; before they even realized, they were already walking up the steps to the library. They made their way into the building and up the stairs to the second floor where the library was.

There weren't a lot of people, just some scattered scarcely all around the library. The two of them made their way to a quiet corner just by a large window, dropping their bags.

"Alright, then—" Ru took the list in her hand and started walking towards the aisles of bookshelves— "let's get our books."

Ru scanned each section to find the aisle she was looking for, while he followed behind her like a lost puppy. Each time she found the book she was looking for, she would turn around and hand it to him.

Honestly, she found it a little distracting, knowing that he was following behind her so closely. She took big strides around the library, but each time she did, it only took him small steps for him to be right behind her again.

She pulled out more books from the list, clutching it in her hands. She turned to see him with one hand carrying the pile of books she had handed him. He had put his other hand against several books on the shelf, looking quite bored. She watched the way his lips were slightly pouted as he absent-mindedly stared at a book; she fought the urge to smile, shaking her head lightly.

"Jeno?" She called.

His eyes darted towards her, slightly startled. She couldn't help but giggle at it; he smiled in confusion. "What?"

"Do the others know—" she held the books she had collected close to her chest— "about you not having a soul mark?"

His eyes shifted to the corner, thinking. "I don't think so."

"You never told them?"

"No, not really—" he shrugged— "it never really came up."

Really? "You've been friends for how long? And it never came up?"

He gave her a funny look. "Guys don't talk about their soul marks."

She rolled her eyes playfully. Boys.

"You don't know anything about their soul marks either?"

Jeno paused for a moment. "Well, I do— not because we talked about it, though. You probably noticed it too, but Donghyuck's soul mark is on his neck, under his jaw. Renjun has his on the back of his hand."

Huh. She tried to recall it in her head, but for some reason she could not seem to remember ever seeing any marks.

"Jaemin's soul mark is on his stomach, like, right next to his belly button," Jeno recalled, his eyebrows furrowing subtly, "I wonder how that's gonna work out."

She felt herself blush, as she was suddenly reminded of her own soul mark. She looked away from him shyly and focused on her list instead.

There was only one book left that they needed. In fact, it was the book she was most curious to read— 'Anomalies of the Psyche'. She furrowed her eyebrows; they had searched the entire library, but she saw no signs of this book.

Without saying a word, she made her way to the library counter; Jeno followed her abrupt movement, silently walking behind her. They finally reached the counter, and placed their books on top of it as they waited for the librarian to come back.

It didn't take long for a tall lady in a flowery dress, rectangle frame spectacles and a tight bun to return to the counter, giving them an inquiring look.

"Hello, do you know where we could find this book?" Ru showed the lady her paper, pointing at the name of the book.

"Ah—" the lady held her glasses as she squinted at the paper— "let me check it out."

She began typing on her computer, leaving them in silence. After a moment, she shook her head and looked up at them again. "I'm sorry, but it's being borrowed for now."

Ru nodded in disappointment, thanking the lady anyway. The two of them were grabbing their books, when the lady made a comment, "that's a lot of books on soulmates!"

Ru let out a polite chuckle, nodding at the sweet lady. The lady let out a sudden gasp, pointing at the two of them; they exchanged brief looks of confusion.

"You two are not soulmates, now, are you?"

Ru choked on air; beside her, Jeno cleared his throat.

"No," Ru clarified, feeling herself blush, "we're just doing some research."

The lady let out a hearty chuckle, putting her hand on her chest. "Oh, my bad! Such a shame, though— the two of you look like soulmates or something!"

Ru scrunched her nose in embarrassment, feeling her cheeks heat up even more. At this point, she didn't even want to see Jeno's reaction to it. She watched Jeno grab the books and she followed his lead by grabbing the list. However, the lady leaned against the counter, giving them a knowing look.

"You know, if you really want an in-depth perspective on soulmates, like—" the lady shrugged, rolling her eyes subtly— "off-the-book stuff, then you should visit my cousin's wife. She's a local, self-established psychic and she knows a great deal about the psyche and the astral realm."

A psychic? She's heard of these psychics before, how they claim to be able to find your soulmate or speed up a Binding Touch, but she never thought anyone would actually suggest it to her, much less a librarian of all people.

"Here—" she took Ru's piece of paper and started scribbling on it— "she has a shop in this little chinatown neighborhood not far from here. You should go check it out!"

The lady handed Ru her paper with a newly-written address just below the list, giving her a bright grin.

Ru smiled and uttered, "well, um, thank you!"

There was an awkward pause before the two of them turned around and walked away towards their table. She looked over at Jeno to see that he was trying to suppress a laugh. Trying not to break into a giggle, she held the paper up and asked, "we're not actually gonna—"

"—No," Jeno cut her off, shaking his head as his lips shaped a subtle smile.

She chuckled in response, stuffing the piece of paper into her pocket. They walked through aisles of books until they finally reached their table in the far corner of the library. They sat across each other and Jeno laid out the books in front of them.

"Alright," she sighed, "time to read."

She picked up one of the books and he did another. They sat in silence as they tried to find anything relevant in their respective books. At first, Ru felt a little awkward in the silence; she found herself occasionally looking up at him just to see what he was doing (he was much more focused that she pegged him to be).

After a while, though, she started to feel more engrossed in the book and slowly forgot about the silence. She skimmed through her book, looking for anything interesting. She landed on a chapter about connections through the soul mark, reading random paragraphs:

Soul marks are most sensitive right after re-uniting, due to the psychic tether being fresh. Two soulmates can feel each others' emotions/pain on the soul mark, even in close proximity.

After spending enough time with each other, however, the body becomes desensitized towards these feelings while the two soulmates are in close proximity; the soul mates will then only be able to feel these sensations when they are far enough from each other.

Hm, that's interesting. She began to reminisce about the times her soul mark would ache so often. Nowadays, she would feel them so rarely that she even forgot she had a soulmate. What does this mean? She didn't even know how to process the information.

Feeling annoyed that she was going nowhere, she flipped through the pages mindlessly until she finally stumbled across another chapter that caught her attention, a chapter about re-uniting soulmates.

Her eyes scanned through the paragraphs explaining how once two soulmates re-unite on Earth, they 'lock' their destinies to each other, which means starting from that moment the two are destined to be together.

It brought her a bit of a relief, knowing that her path will eventually cross with her soulmate's. But where was he now? Reading through the pages, it is apparent that the book implied that after two soulmates are re-united, they would most likely be with each other soon, if not immediately.

It's been over a month, and each day she began to feel less and less on her soul mark. Was something wrong with her? Maybe something was wrong with her soulmate? She sighed, feeling just as confused.

She glanced across the table, her eyes sneaking glances at the boy in front of her. The bright afternoon sun glistened against the side of his face, giving him a golden hue. She watched the way his eyes glazed over the book, the way he was biting his lip in concentration.

Why couldn't he have been the one?

If only the pains on her soul mark weren't a coincidence, if only he had a soul mark. She almost felt embarrassed for feeling this way, but she couldn't help it.

She shook her head and looked away from him, burying her head back into her thick book.

⭒⭒⭒

Ding.

Ding, Ding, Ding!

Jeno's eyes fluttered open, squinting from the bright overhead lighting. He took a deep breath and rubbed his eyes. His head was rested on his hands, on top of an open book. Looking around him, he realized he was still in the library.

The place was deserted now; the bright fluorescent lights only further illuminated the silence. The window next to him was now dark, the streets outside filled with beaming car lights and constant honks. He looked in front of him— Ru had her head buried in her hands, her hair scattered messily around her.

He reached for his phone, looking at the time— 6:08 pm.

How long were they asleep for? They've been here for hours now. He looked at his notifications just below the time; there were a few messages from Donghyuck. Opening them, it read:

Hyuck: yo

Hyuck: where are you?

Hyuck: are you still with ru?

Hyuck: we're eating at paper pasta, come over

Paper Pasta was a small Italian restaurant and bookstore, where customers could buy books or borrow books to read while they ate.

Reading the text, he was suddenly craving spaghetti.

He quickly replied that they were on their way before stuffing his phone into his pocket.

Across from him, Ru was still fast asleep. Her hands were peeking from under her hair, resting motionlessly on the table. He knew he had to wake her up, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. Instead, he fell silent, just observing her hands.

They were small— much smaller than his. Her neatly-trimmed nails, the little hairs on her fingers. They were skinny, but they looked soft.

Subconsciously, his hand started to reach out for her's. He wanted to hold them, feel them in his hands. What would that feel like?

He tried to remember what it had felt like that day when he pulled her through the crowd, but all he could feel now was the void filling the space between his fingers; he had a sudden need to fill that void. Slowly, his hand moved forward until it was just inches away from her resting hand.

However, he stopped.

As much as he wanted to, he knew he shouldn't so instead, he grabbed her pointy finger and started pulling at it subtly.

"Ru," he whispered as he leaned his head closer towards her.

She groaned subtly, moving her head ever so slightly. He put his hand on the table, resting his chin on top of it. He waited as he continued to pull on her finger again.

Wake up, he thought.

He couldn't bring himself to say it out loud; he stayed silent, just waiting for her.

It was strange being here with her. It felt like yesterday when she first came up to him, barely stuttering the words to tell him that she thought they were soulmates. On the other hand, what had felt like years ago but was actually just yesterday, he told her something he hasn't told anyone in years, and strangely, he didn't regret it.

So now there she was, a keeper of his secrets, peacefully asleep.

He pulled her finger one last time and let go, waiting for her to stir awake. It took a while, but she finally did.

She took a deep breath, gaining consciousness. She felt a slight strain on the back of her neck and looked up slowly. To her surprise, her eyes met one dark, soft pair of eyes and her heart skipped a beat. She immediately retreated, sitting up straight in surprise.

She looked around her in confusion, to realize the same thing Jeno did. "What time is it now?"

"It's 6:00 o'clock," he responded, standing up nonchalantly from his seat with his bag on his shoulder, "we should go, the boys are waiting for us to eat."

Still feeling slightly disoriented from her nap, she stood up as well and gathered her things compliantly. She dragged her legs behind him as they went to return the pile of books that they took.

"So—" she took one book and propped it on the shelf— "did you find anything?"

He shook his head. "Nothing good."

She nodded awkwardly, still feeling drowsy. They didn't say much as they left the library, down the steps and onto the streets. The atmosphere was much different than it was when they came to the library; the streets were boisterous and loud, with people scattered everywhere.

Jeno led the way, walking slightly ahead of her. It didn't take them long to finally reach another stretch of road, with shops and restaurants lined up. They walked up to a bright, two-story shop with big windows revealing the bookstore within.

He held the door open, letting her in before him. As soon as she entered the building, a whiff of books and a hint of freshly-cooked dishes enveloped her. It excited her, knowing that a great meal awaited.

On the other end of the bookstore, she spotted a familiar face.

"Renjun, hi!" Ru called out, skipping over to his direction.

Upon being called, Renjun looked up, giving them a warm smile. "You guys were at the library?"

"Mhm, just soulmate research. What did you do today?"

"Not much—" Renjun shrugged— "just visited my mom."

"Where's the others?" Jeno asked from behind Ru.

"They're upstairs ordering—" he picked up a book from the shelf— "you guys should go and order now, I already did."

"Alright— I'm starving," Jeno groaned as he began to walk away towards the flight of stairs that led to the restaurant.

Ru merely chuckled, shaking her head. She was about to walk away, when she noticed the book Renjun had on his hand; she stopped next to him.

"So you actually do like anti-stress coloring books," Ru commented.

Renjun looked at her, obviously slightly startled that she was still there. He chuckled. "Yeah, they're actually damn relaxing."

He picked up two similar coloring books before he faced Ru again. "So, I'm guessing you found him last night?"

"Yeah—" Ru smiled— "thanks, once again."

"No worries," Renjun replied, returning one book to its shelf. "You know, you were pretty smart to figure that out."

Ru laughed, shaking her head. "Well, you were pretty smart to have come up with it. But actually—" Ru furrowed her eyebrows in curiosity— "why were you so cryptic, though? Why didn't you just tell me?"

Renjun paused.

"Did he tell you why he was there?"

"Yeah, he did," Ru replied solemnly.

"He goes there alone every year. He doesn't like to talk about it, but each year on the days counting up to that day, he's just different. We eventually knew to give him his space. This time, it was different, though. He was fine all week, almost like he forgot. Obviously, no one wanted to remind him. Then yesterday while we were playing basketball, he just suddenly got up and left; he looked mortified— angry, even.

I wanted to go after him, but Jaemin really wanted to respect his space— which I understand— but the way he stormed off, I just... I got worried. That's why I told you when you asked, but I knew Jaemin would disagree if I told you straight up, so I tried, I don't know, guiding you to it. I just didn't want him to be alone."

Ru gave him a subtle smile; she found it really sweet how they cared for each other, even in subtle ways like this. She nodded as a way of telling him she understood.

Renjun returned the smile gratefully. "Come on, let's go— I gotta pay for this first."

She followed him to the bookstore counter, waiting next to him as he paid for his book. As she watched him hand the cashier his money, she finally spotted it: his soul mark. It was a blurry circle shape on the back of his right hand.

She wondered if he would ever meet his soulmate. She could imagine his soulmate being a sweet and intelligent person, probably just as charming as he was.

"Ru!"

A sudden voice snapped her out of her thoughts. She turned around, to find Jia and Chohee standing across the bookstore. Her lips curved into a big smile as they approached her.

"Hey, guys," she greeted them happily.

Chohee gave her a tight hug. "We were just gonna eat here— weird to run into you, we haven't heard from you since you ran out yesterday."

Ru blushed, giving Renjun a furtive look; they both knew why she left abruptly that day.

There was a brief pause before Ru looked at Renjun, gesturing at the girls. "Renjun, this is Jia and Chohee—" she turned to the girls and gestured at Renjun— "and this is Renjun."

The girls waved at Renjun politely and he gave them his charming smile. There was a moment of silence before Jia finally continued. "Since we're all eating upstairs, why don't we eat together, then?"

They all nodded in agreement; they crowded towards the stairs, Renjun walking in front of them. Chohee linked arms with Ru, pulling her close. "So... You and Renjun, huh?"

Ru gave her an incredulous look. "What? No— it's nothing like that, we're all just meeting up for dinner, is all."

"Sure, Ru," Chohee chuckled, playfully nudging her on the shoulder.

Before Ru could even begin to clarify, they've reached the top of the stairs into the restaurant. Jia and Chohee seemed surprised that the rest of the boys were waiting by a table in the middle of the restaurant.

The boys were less fazed; they greeted the girls casually as Renjun took a seat across from Jaemin. Ru gestured for the girls to sit by her— she worried they would be uncomfortable around the boys given that they've never talked before— but they didn't seem to notice as they took seats next to Jeno and Donghyuck.

"Hello, sweets," Jaemin nudged her as she sat down next to him.

Ru giggled at the pet name— sweets? She shook her head, a smile lingering on her face.

They ordered their food and made casual conversation as they waited for their food to arrive. Ru was surprised to see how well the girls were getting along with the boys— Chohee was laughing with Renjun and Donghyuck, and Jia seemed to be having a nice conversation with Jeno, although it seemed like the only contribution Jeno made to the conversation was nodding.

She was slightly envious of how easily they made friends, especially with boys. It took her a really long time to warm up to the boys, but it only took Jia and Chohee one conversation and they seemed to be hitting it off already.

Their food finally arrived, and none of them hesitated— they dived into their own meals heartily. Donghyuck moaned as he took a big spoonful of lasagna; Chohee giggled.

"Jia," Ru called, tilting her head forward so she could see the girls, "do you guys eat here often?"

"It's my first time, actually—" Jia shook her head— "I've always wanted to try, though, but I always end up eating at my dad's restaurant, you know, since I work there too."

Jia looked at the boys, her eyes lit up. "You guys should come over to my restaurant some time, I bet I could get my dad to give you guys a discount."

"Oh yeah," Chohee agreed, leaning forward against the table, "we should go next week after volunteer work!"

Right— Ru totally forgot about that. Last week, the school had the seniors sign a permission slip to join something like a field trip to a rural village where they would do volunteer work such as painting the walls and cleaning the area.

This wasn't something new to her; each year, the school does something like this and Ru had always joined them. Thinking back to all those times volunteering, she remembered how focused she was on getting the job done while her classmates were mostly having fun. She knew it was because she didn't really have anyone to have fun with.

She watched her friends as they joked about something she didn't quite catch. Ru had a feeling that this time, she wouldn't be too focused on painting the walls.

________________________________________

chapter ten.

"Everyone, gather over here!" Mr. Park's voice blared over the megaphone.

The day was hot and sunny; the warm weather greeted Ru as soon as she stepped out of the bus. Students were exiting a total of three buses, all of them gathering towards Mr. Park's voice.

The bus ride was a fairly short one; it would've been nice if she got to share a bus with her friends, but the buses were assigned by homeroom classes and sadly, she didn't share a homeroom class with either the boys or Jia and Chohee.

She stood on her tiptoes as students walked past her, trying to find any of her friends. It didn't take her long before she spotted the boys walking in her direction.

"Hello," Ru greeted when she finally met their side.

"Ey, there you are!" Jaemin gave her a quick side hug.

She gave Donghyuck a playful nudge as they walked towards Mr. Park. She met eyes with Jeno for a brief second; she gave him a quick smile before looking away.

"Alright!" Mr. Park's magnified voice filled the air. "You'll be divided into ten groups and each group will be assigned to paint one wall. As soon as you hear your name and group, please proceed to your stations!"

Mr. Park started shouting out names and slowly, students started to disperse into their own sections. Jeno, Donghyuck, Jia and Chohee were assigned to the first group; they were the first to leave to their area. Renjun was assigned to another group and finally Ru was assigned to the sixth group along with Jaemin and some other students. They walked together towards their wall in the far corner.

"So—" Jaemin brought his brush to the wall, painting its corners white— "how did it go with Jeno the other night?"

She painted a red circle in the middle of the wall. "It was okay; we read a whole bunch of books about soulmates, but it wasn't that—"

"—No," Jaemin interrupted, chuckling as he faced her, "I was talking about that night in the park."

"Oh."

He knew about that? She looked away awkwardly, dipping her brush into more paint.

"That— well, um, it was okay." She finally looked at him. "How'd you know about it?"

"Renjun's sneaky, but I've known him for almost five years now— he's not that sneaky."

Ru laughed subtly, feeling weirdly at ease, knowing that he knew. She didn't really consider it lying, but it felt uncomfortable keeping something from Jaemin— it was almost like if you couldn't tell him something, it means you did something bad.

"Don't worry about it; I'm actually kinda glad you showed up," Jaemin continued. "I know Jeno likes to be alone, but sometimes I agree with him too much to realize being alone wasn't what he needed."

She looked across the street towards Jeno and the others.

She watched as he stood there and laughed along with Donghyuck. How could such a sweet face hide such a bitter secret? Now that she knew his past, seeing his smile felt a little more precious.

Her eyes shifted to the girls, painting alongside Jeno and Donghyuck as they all conversed joyfully. She was glad they were all getting along. It was a strange feeling, being able to look at a group of friends enjoying themselves and also knowing that she could join in anytime and just... belong.

It was a strange feeling, but it was a nice strange feeling.

She turned back just in time for Jaemin to ask, "but Ru?"

She looked at him expectantly.

"How did you know you needed to find him?"

She paused. She knew exactly what urged her to find him, but now that she and Jeno have gone past the whole soulmate thing, she felt slightly embarrassed bringing it up again.

But then she caught Jaemin's anticipating expression. She knew that he would be the last person to judge.

She smirked, looking away as she shook her head. "No, it's too embarrassing."

"Wha—" Jaemin gaped, facing her with his brush held in his hand— "what do you mean, embarrassing? Stop making excuses!"

Suddenly, she felt the cold and rough texture of his paintbrush stroke against her arm; she gasped, her mouth agape. "You—!"

She didn't even think twice before slathering her newly-dipped red paint brush against his entire arm; he laughed as he tried to back away but failed, his entire arm now dripping with paint. Her mouth formed an 'o' shape as she realized what she had done.

He was taken aback for a split second, but then a mischievous grin formed on his face; Ru's eyes widened as she watched him dip his paintbrush into the bucket of white paint.

"Oh, no no no—" she held out her hands in anticipation of his attack.

He chuckled. "You started this, sweetie."

There was a moment of pause; she narrowed her eyes, challenging him. He took the silence as a cue to charge at her. He moved forward, the white brush now slathering the palm of her hands.

She squealed as she backed away. "Okay, okay!"

She laughed as he continued to push the brush onto her arms. "Alright, I'll tell you."

He stood back up straight, giving her a grin of satisfaction. "That's more like it."

She shook her head with a smile on her face, looking away as she rubbed her hands against each other to feel the paint. It felt weird thinking about it again, but she shook away the feeling. "I don't know... I just felt this weight, and for some reason I just assumed it had something to do with him."

She was met with silence; Ru picked up the paintbrush she dropped, turning to the wall. "It was just a coincidence, though— we finally sat down and he explained everything... Now I know he really isn't my soulmate."

He stopped painting for a second and turned to her. "Is it his soul mark?"

She snapped her head in his direction— he knows?

"How do you know?"

"I don't—" Jaemin shrugged— "but I've always had a feeling. Then you showed up, and it kinda made sense."

Ru wasn't as surprised as she thought she would be. All the boys were close to each other, there was no denying that, but she knew that Jeno and Jaemin were practically brothers. So, if one of the boys were to notice, it would definitely be Jaemin.

"Jesus, Jaemin—" a voice suddenly called out from a distance, causing Ru to look in its direction— "did you mistake Ru for the wall or what?"

Ru and Jaemin laughed as Renjun approached them, holding his bucket of yellow paint.

"Did you even paint at all?" Jaemin retaliated jokingly; unlike them, Renjun looked squeaky clean, as if he had never painted in the first place.

Suddenly, Ru heard a boisterous laughter from behind her; she turned to find Donghyuck laughing as he walked in their direction. "Yooo, Ru— you look like a mess!"

Ru tsked, giving him a mischievous look . "Really? Well, you look like a hot mess yourself."

Her response puzzled him for a second; before he could say anything, she reached forward and swung her brush against both his arms, red crimson paint making it look like he had just committed murder.

"Hey!!" Donghyuck screamed; he retaliated immediately, flicking his paintbrush at her, the black paint now splashing her torso.

Before she knew it, the other boys were joining in as well. Renjun started to attack her legs with his bright yellow color, Jaemin holding her arm as he slathered it with more white paint.

Three against one? She stood no chance; she stood groaning as all four of her limbs slowly started to look like a canvas. Donghyuck's eyes met her's, his paintbrush held up beside him like a child holding a knife; he giggled nefariously as his hands approached her face.

Oh, hell no. She gasped, turning around instantly to avoid his attack—

She stumbled backwards at a hard collision, her paintbrush still in hand. She looked up slowly to see none other than Jeno; his lips were slightly parted, his tongue poking his cheek as he looked down at her. She looked down at his white baseball tee shirt to realize she had stained it badly with her paintbrush.

"Oh, shit!" Donghyuck cackled once he spotted the bright red blot on Jeno's shirt.

Her eyes widened as a guilty smile formed on her face. She looked up at him to see a playful look glimmer in his eyes. She knew better than to stay still; she turned around immediately sprinted away.

She let out a tiny squeal. She was giddy and honestly a tad bit terrified of being caught. She zoomed past other students, trying her best to evade him for as long as she could. It wasn't long, however, before she felt the familiar warm hand lock around her arm.

The strength of his pull tugged her backwards; he spun her so quickly and before she knew it, her chest was against his. He held her wrist tightly, holding it against his chest between them.

Her breath hitched; she looked up into his dark eyes, glistening under the sun.

A playful smirk formed on his face— "How do I make this even?"

She was too stunned to respond. That was until he took his paintbrush up against her neck, smearing it completely with its baby blue tint. The cold paint woke her up from her trance; she took a step back, her mouth agape.

"I can't believe you actually—!" she gasped as she shook her head.

He laughed. "See my shirt? You've murdered it."

She burst out laughing. Yeah, that shirt was basically ruined; he actually looked like someone stabbed him.

Their laughter was interrupted by Mr. Park's blaring megaphone voice.

"Alright students, we'll be cleaning up soon, please wrap up your painting— and painting is strictly for the walls only, refrain from using the paint for anything else."

The two of them looked at each other, their laughter halted for a moment. It didn't even take five seconds, however, for her smile to grow back on her face; his eyes turned into beautiful crescents as he laughed silently with her.

⭒⭒⭒

It turned out that she wasn't the only person who was covered in paint from friendly paint-wars. The public bathroom was filled with other girls, trying to clean up. She had spent the last thirty minutes trying to scrub the paint off of her body. None of them had really taken into account the durability of industrial paint when they were out there having their fun.

Sadly for her, none of the other girls had actually been attacked as brutally as she had been— she was the last one out of the bathroom. Even so, there were still many visible remnants of the various colors the boys had smeared on her, some forever etched on her shirt, blobs covering her shoes and even her bracelet.

After another round of vigorous scrubbing, she finally gave up. Most of the paint on her skin had finally been scrubbed off, leaving her looking red. She shrugged. Good enough.

She shook her head as she observed her reflection in the mirror; of course, the blue paint was still visible on her neck. It was strange that a part of her was happy there were some little bits of blue left.

She took her belongings and walked out of the girl's bathroom. Across the bathroom, the boys were sitting on a curb talking amongst themselves. She walked towards them, shaking her head as Renjun looked in her direction.

"Thanks to you guys, I look like a badly washed paint palette."

Renjun smiled, patting on the curb next to him— "sit."

"So—" Ru sat down next to Renjun, immediately feeling the heat from the cement curb— "is Jaemin with Jia and Chohee?"

"Nah, Jaemin's getting us drinks. I don't know where the girls are, actually—"

"—Oh, they went back to the bus for the air conditioner," Donghyuck answered her question, having overheard their conversation.

"Ru—" Renjun leaned backwards, snickering as he looked at her back— "your hair!"

"Huh?" Ru reached for her hair in curiosity, when she finally felt it. Part of her hair had been clumped up with blue paint.

Donghyuck and Jeno looked at her hair curiously, too, and immediately burst into laughter.

"Good job, dude!" Donghyuck gave Jeno a high-five.

"Hey!" Ru started, turning to them with a mocking glare, causing them to laugh even more.

"Here—" Renjun reached out and began helping her pull out the clumps of paint; just like it was with the rest of her body, the paint was not easy to remove from her hair.

Just as Renjun was in the middle of tugging at her hair, Ru spotted Jaemin walking back in their direction with drinks in his hands.

"Ey, gimme the drinks!" Donghyuck called out, jogging his way to Jaemin for his cold beverage.

Jaemin distributed the drinks, giving Ru the familiar red jelly pouch. "Here you go, sweets— strawberry, your favorite."

Ru beamed with pleasure— "Thank youuu!"

She unscrewed the cap immediately and chugged its contents, feeling the cool liquid warm her entire body. There was nothing quite like drinking a cold beverage on a hot day.

Honestly, Ru didn't expect today to end so quickly. Volunteer work had always felt like such tedious work, but today, the day speeded by just like that. She also never understood— or rather, never related to— the way some people actually looked forward to doing community work (of course, it made her feel even worse that she felt this way about doing a good deed).

She knew her classmates viewed it as some sort of outing, when she had always viewed is as extra 'schoolwork'. Now looking at the kids around her titter and mess around— even under the brutal sun— she actually felt the joy they did. She understood.

She watched the crowd of students contently from a distance; some were climbing into the buses, others just hanging about the same way she and the boys were enjoying their tranquil little corner.

A particular group of rowdy boys caught her attention; it also seemed like the group was coming in their direction. She didn't think much of it, but that was until the boys all stood up, an unspoken tension suddenly evident in the air.

Confused, she stood up as well. She looked at the boys, trying to get their attention. However, none of them seemed to notice her; they were too busy looking— no, glaring— at the approaching group.

The group of boys looked really familiar... Just as they walked closer to them— as if in slow motion— it finally clicked where she had seen them before.

They were the group of guys the boys got into a fight with!

Wow. They looked so different now that they weren't brutally messed up; they looked much cleaner and so much more... pretentious.

The group finally stopped in front of them, looking hostile. Renjun and Donghyuck took steps forward, glaring right back. Suddenly feeling apprehensive, she inched closer to Jaemin next to her.

"Look who it is— almost forgot you fucking rats existed." The big and beefy boy in the middle spat.

She instantly recognized him as Jinwook, the one all the nasty rumors were about.

Clearly uncomfortable, she looked at the rest of the boys. Their glares were intense; she had never seen her friends so angry and hostile. Sure, they did look a little intimidating when she first met them but now— she took a little gulp, feeling the tension.

"I know you paid my brother a visit—" Jinwook turned his head in Jeno's direction— "What, need another favor?"

"Shouldn't be surprised—" Jinwook scoffed; he scanned the rest of the boys— "rats like you always come crawling back."

"Yeah, you'd know a lot about rats— being the trash you are, I bet you attract them all the time." Donghyuck retorted.

Jinwook pursed his lips, disgruntled. "You know my brother's gonna fuck you up real bad, just like he does to all the low-life shits, so you better start running."

A smirk formed on his lips as he took a threatening step forward. "But I bet you already knew that— you're even hiding from me in school."

Ru watched as Renjun rolled his eyes, unfazed by Jinwook's words. Instead, he calmly replied. "Oh, I don't know, Jinwook— I wouldn't really call it hiding. Tell me: if you smelled shit, wouldn't you avoid it too?"

Jinwook growled, reaching out for Renjun in anger. "How 'bout I bash your face in right now—"

Donghyuck rammed Jinwook away from Renjun, shoving him angrily. "Yeah, you want another round? I'll give you another fucking round—"

Jinwook's friends took tentative steps towards them; Ru felt her legs stumble backwards in apprehension.

This time, Jaemin leapt forward and away from Ru's side. He immediately shoved himself between the two of them, pushing them away with his hands. He faced Donghyuck and with a stern voice, he said, "Hyuck, stop."

Donghyuck was fuming, but he listened. He backed away slowly, still glaring at Jinwook. Jaemin turned around and faced Jinwook, whose friends were now right by his side. Ru stared with bated breath as Jaemin spoke in a low and steely tone. "You don't want to do this again, so just do yourself a favor and fuck off, yeah?"

The palpable tension lingered in the air as Ru stood rooted to her spot. It was silent for a moment as Jaemin began to take a few steps back, eyes still on Jinwook.

Her eyes shifted in Jeno's direction for a brief moment.

Watching his hostile stance made her heartbeat quicken. He was so still, his hands balled into fists, his jaw obviously clenched in suppressed anger.

She looked back at Jaemin, her stomach suddenly feeling very queasy. Thankfully, he finally turned around, shaking his head for the rest of the boys to back away. He held out his hand for Ru, which she gladly took.

Thank god, she sighed in relief.

She was about to turn away, when her eyes met Jinwook's for the first time. For a split second, his eyes twitched in confusion— it was like he hadn't even noticed her standing there until now. A menacing smirk formed on his face as his eyes locked on her.

The smirk was wiped off his face in a flash, however, as Jeno shoved him aggressively, grabbing his shirt by his knuckles.

She gasped; Jaemin instinctively pulled her closer to him.

"Don't even think about it." Jeno growled, wrinkling Jinwook's shirt so badly it looked like it was going to rip. "We're done here."

Jinwook tried to free himself from Jeno, his eyebrows furrowed in anger. "No, we're done when I say we're done."

Jeno scoffed, pushing him back until he stumbled. "Like I give a fuck about what you say."

Jinwook was fuming; the two of them glowered at each other. Suddenly, Jinwook's eyes darted towards something behind them. It must've been significant, because his shoulder fell and his lips curved into a taunting smile.

Ru looked behind them for a moment to find that Mr. Park was not far away, and was actually heading in their direction.

Jinwook gave Jeno one final look. "Visit your dad, why don't you? I'm sure he gets lonely up there."

With that, Jinwook swung himself around and walked away. His cronies followed him closely, but not before giving them taunting looks.

Ru was stunned; they all stood there in silence, trying to process what just happened. The group walked further away from them and towards the bus; she watched as they disappeared into Bus 1.

Well, they were definitely not going on that bus.

From behind them, Mr. Park's megaphone blared once again, snapping them from their tense silence. "Everyone back on the bus! You don't have to get on your assigned buses, just get on any bus, but quickly— we're behind schedule."

Jaemin broke the silence, beckoning the rest of them, "come on guys, let's go."

They walked up silently towards the row of buses, all of them still too pissed to even talk. The confrontation seemed to have sucked all the energy out of Ru; her legs felt heavy as she dragged herself forward.

Obviously, they avoided the bus Jinwook was in. Ru walked behind Jaemin and the rest of the boys as they walked into the next one, the teacher beckoning them to enter.

"Hey, there you guys are!" Chohee called out to them from the back of the bus. "Where have you been?"

Seeing Jia and Chohee's bright and oblivious faces actually made Ru feel better. She wanted the tension to disappear, and for her heart to stop beating so quickly; she hoped that maybe talking to the girls would do the trick.

The boys walked to the back towards Jia and Chohee. However, the teacher stopped Jaemin and Ru; Jeno gave them an alarmed look, glancing at the teacher.

"This bus is full; you two go to Bus 3, I think there are two seats left." The teacher explained.

They all glanced at each other awkwardly; the teacher must've noticed this too, because she continued, "If you guys wanna be together, Bus 1 still has plenty of seats."

Jeno gave Jaemin a cryptic look that Ru didn't quite understand. However, it seemed that Jaemin did; he nodded his head subtly at Jeno and said in a reassuring tone, "it's okay."

Jeno glanced at Ru for a brief second before looking back at Jaemin. There was a brief pause, but he finally nodded back, his jaw still slightly clenched.

"Come on, let's go." Jaemin gestured for them to go.

They left Bus 2 and walked quickly to the last bus. The teacher was right when she said there were only two seats left; they had to squeeze their way into the last two seats in the far back corner of the bus. Ru took the window seat, plopping herself down in exhaustion.

"You okay?" Jaemin gave her a concerned look.

She gave him a reassuring nod. "Yeah, I'm good."

She stared out of the window, and she finally dropped her shoulders.

The reality of the confrontation was finally sinking in. Her mind started to spin, a rush of questions started to flood her head. Why did they hate each other so much? What happened? If the confrontation itself wasn't puzzling enough, their conversation wasn't any clearer.

The bus started to move, but she could barely acknowledge her body swaying with the motion of the bus, feeling too occupied with her own thoughts.

Jinwook kept talking about his brother and some kind of favor. What was that about? She stole a quick glance at Jaemin; his eyes were closed, his head leaning back against the headrest. Were they in trouble?

Oh god, were they? The curiosity began to itch at her mind, an endless choice of scenarios now playing through her head. This must be what all those mysterious fights were about.

Her mind wandered back to this brother Jinwook mentioned— who was he? He sounded like trouble.

Ru tapped on her knees impatiently, growing increasingly restless the more she thought about it. She replayed the altercation, the voices echoed like a movie scene in her head.

She couldn't take it anymore— she wanted to know. She turned to Jaemin, tapping him on the shoulder gently.

"Jaemin?"

His eyes fluttered open, his thick eyelashes making his eyes look darker as he looked in her direction. "Yeah?"

Uh, how does she approach this? She cleared her throat, deciding to just blurt out the question.

"What does Jinwook have against you guys? Why does he hate you so much?"

Jaemin hesitated.

"It's a long story, but we were actually friends— like, a lifetime ago."

Her eyes widened in shock. "Friends?"

"Yeah—" he gave a rueful grin— "It's hard to believe, but that jerk used to be okay."

Wow. "So you were friends with his brother too, then?"

"Well, I actually knew his brother first. I was homeless for a while then—"

Homeless?

Her breath was hitched for a moment. She couldn't even begin to imagine the nice and sweet boy in front of her with no home.

"—I think I was twelve? I was just lost and confused, really; I didn't know any better. And it wasn't easy, living in the streets. But then Jinkyu, Jinwook's brother, he found me and he kinda looked out for me— or I guess that's the way I saw it back then."

Jaemin paused, looking down and picking at his fingers.

"I think what I really liked about him then was that he was the only person who never asked me why I ran away. Even when I finally went back into foster care, he still reached out here and there, introduced me to his little brother. Then I met the other boys, and Jinkyu started looking out for them too.

He just knew what it was like to be a kid in the system, passed from home to home. He aged out of the system and was homeless too, for a bit."

Jaemin looked up at Ru and shrugged.

"Back then, it just felt like it was us against the world, if that makes sense. We got into a whole lot of trouble but strangely, I belonged somewhere— we all did you know, so we didn't really care."

She gave him a mournful look; she could only sit there, watching as he continued his melancholic story.

"Looking back, he was as dangerous then as he is now and it took us a lot to finally realize it."

Jaemin paused for a split second before he continued.

"For all the shit we got into, we ran towards it because we didn't want to run away from it anymore. But they ran towards it because they loved it— you know, the violence. We realized that we'd be dead before we even left the system if we continued. So, we walked away."

She couldn't even begin to imagine what that was like. Sure, she was an orphan too, like them, but not like this. She sighed, the weight on her chest suddenly feeling heavy.

"So," Ru continued, her eyes still lingering on him, "I guess they weren't too happy about it. Does it have anything to do with that favor?"

Jaemin looked up at her, but this time he gave her a meaningful smile, almost a wistful one. It was short-lived; he looked ahead, deep in thought.

She almost regretted asking, but he finally looked back at her.

"Back then, we did what we did to survive, to hold on to the people we had left in our lives. Like Renjun with his mom, and Donghyuck with his little sister—"

Wait, what? Ru blinked at him. "Donghyuck has a sister?"

Jaemin nodded subtly, his lips pursed. "They were separated after she was born— he was six. And by the time she was five, she was adopted without him. The family didn't really want a 12 year old."

She felt her heart ache for Donghyuck. In the short time she knew him, he was always so bright and happy— she would've never guessed. To be left behind like that, unwanted. She took a sharp, difficult breath.

"We were just kids who—" Jaemin paused, trying to find the right words— "needed a way. And asked all the wrong people trying to find it."

Ru reflected on his words, her mind wandering back to the fight just now. She thought back to Jinwook's comment about Jeno's dad. What did Jinwook know about his dad? Why did he bring it up like that?

"Does the favor have anything to do with Jeno's dad?" Ru asked instinctively, her eyes watching his face closely.

"That," Jaemin answered, "you'll have to ask him yourself."

She looked back out the window in deep thought, most of her previous curiosities satisfied, but now a whole set of new ones emerging.

Damn, today was a long day.

________________________________________

Prev | Next

Taglist | @marijmin @jaeminsnanadoongie

23 notes · View notes

watchmegetobsessed · 3 years

Text

VALERIE - Part IV. (Harry Styles)

hello loves!! thank you so much for the feedbacks on the previous part, i love to see your thoughts at reactions so please keep them coming for the upcoming parts as well! i was informed that the posts weren’t showing up under the hashtags bc i had an extrernal link to the spotify playlist, so that won’t be available in the next parts, but you’ll always be able to find it in the masterpost if you’d like to give it a listen! those were the songs i listened to while writing the story! now, i dont want to keep you up any longer, here is part 4, one of my personal favs, and im excitedly waiting for your feedbacks on the post! have a wonderful reading!

word count: 4.5k

SERIES MASTERPOST

masterlist

Valerie is curiously watching her dad work on the portable bed they’ve brought over for the night, her little hands clutching onto Rosa’s shirt as she is telling you all about the list she has made for you. It’s not a long one, but you try to focus on every word she says, making sure you won’t mess anything up.

“I put an X behind the important ones,” she explains pointing at the paper and you nod, eyes roaming down on the few X’s on the list. “The other ones are just suggestions, things I thought you should know.

“Got it,” you nod again, biting into your bottom lip. Bath time, feeding, sleep time, everything is covered in the list and you’re happy she even mentioned the smallest details. Some things might be natural for her as she’s been doing it for months, but it’s your first time completely alone with a baby. You surely don’t want to mess this up, especially because you want her to trust you and let you look after Valerie more often. They deserve a break now and then.

Steven finishes the bed and backs out a few stuffed animals along with two blankets into it, making it look cozy and familiar for Val.

“But most importantly,” Rosa starts and you look her in the eyes. “Call us anytime if you need help or want us to take her home, and I mean it.”

“Not gonna happen,” you shake your head, earning a sigh from your sister.

“Y/N, I’m serious. We are thankful for the help, but it’s not your duty, alright? Just call us anytime, really.”

Nodding your head you flash a smile at her, knowing well nothing on Earth is gonna make you call them tonight. Okay, maybe there are some cases when you would call, but those are quite unlikely to happen.

She hands Valerie over who curiously eyes you before grabbing a handful of your shirt and making herself busy with the fabric.

“It’s gonna be fine. Have a great night, you deserve it,” you smile at them. Steven straightens up and curls an arm around Rosa’s waist as they watch Val in awe, clearly a little worried they are gonna spend an entire night without her, but you can tell they also can’t wait for some alone time.

“Alright, we should get going,” Rosa sighs and stepping closer she kisses Valerie’s head and then your cheek as well. “Have fun with your aunty! We’ll be back for you in the morning, Sweetie.”

She runs her hand over her little head and Valerie smiles at her happily, completely oblivious to what’s really happening. The joys of being just a baby!

Steven says goodbye to her as well and you all head to the door.

“So, we’ll be here around eight, she is usually up by six. Do you want us to pick her up sooner?” Rosa asks standing at the front door.

“Sooner? I was about to tell you to sleep a little longer, you don’t have to come so early.”

“But we don’t want to take away your whole day, you need to rest too,” Steven explains, worry all over his face.

“Stop worrying about me, I’ll be fine. Just enjoy your night off! Come on, I’m throwing you guys out, time for the sleepover to start,” you tell them, shushing them out the door.

It takes some time to finally get them to leave, but they eventually do. Then it’s just the two of you, alone for the first time.

“Ready for your first sleepover, Val?” you ask her, standing in the hallway of your apartment. She just stares back at you, saliva drooling from her mouth but even that looks cute on her. “Alright, let’s do this.”

You braced yourself for the worst. Thought about all the possibilities how the evening would go, but you hoped they wouldn't become reality. Unfortunately, baby Valerie had different plans for the two of you.

The first hour goes by fine. You feed her, have a little play time, reading her favorite book to her, but slowly, you notice her losing interest in anything and everything. Soon enough, you see her face distort into a grimace and a few moments later she starts crying and it’s straight downhill from there.

Nothing can get her to stop. No food, no toy, absolutely nothing. You clown around, trying everything that pops into your mind that would calm her down, but it doesn’t seem like she is about to stop anytime soon.

You start to panic. Rosa told you how fussy she is because of her teeth coming, but you didn’t think it would be this bad. When she’s been crying for an entire hour straight, for a split second, you think about calling Rosa.

“No, not gonna do that,” you say, while Val is still screaming in your arms. “Valerie, what do you want? Tell me and I’ll give it to you, I promise! Just please stop crying!” you whine desperately, but, no surprise, no answer comes from the screaming babe in your arms, just more tears, puffy eyes and red cheeks from all the crying she’s been doing.

Trying to rock her into calmness you are moving around in the apartment when you hear your phone ringing. You instantly think it’s gonna be Rosa, wanting to check in on you, but how are you gonna answer the call when Valeries is screaming from the top of her lungs? She’ll come to pick her up straight away, no doubt about that.

Rushing into the kitchen you are relieved to see that it’s just Harry calling you.

“It’s not the best of times, Styles,” you sigh as you answer the call and put him on the speaker, leaving the phone on the countertop, so you have both your hands free for Valerie.

“Hey, I was just-- what the fuck is happening?” he asks hearing the deadly cries of Val through the line. “Is that Valerie?”

“It is! I’m looking after her so Rosa and Steven can celebrate their anniversary, but she just wouldn’t stop crying! I don’t know what to do!”

You’re absolutely desperate. It’s so bad you can feel your throat closing up, nearing the edge of your patience, tears threatening to roll down your cheeks, but you tell yourself only one of you can cry at a time and Val has taken that spot quite some time ago, not even giving you a moment to let loose.

“Text me your address, I’m leaving now,” he orders and you snap your head towards the phone.

“What? No, Harry--”

“Just text me the damn address, Y/N!” he barks and the line cuts off right away.

Your desperation pairs with shock now, not knowing what to think about this short, but quite eventful conversation you just had with him. It takes you a few moments to collect your thoughts, but you end up sending him your address.

Nothing changes in the twenty minutes while you are waiting to hear anything from Harry following your text to him. Valerie keeps crying with three seconds of pauses when she takes a few deep breaths only to start screaming once again. Aside from the headache she is causing you, it’s becoming pretty impressive how long she’s been doing it. You probably would have fainted by now, but it seems like Valerie is running on an endless battery.

“You are really making it hard for me to be a cool aunt, Val,” you mumble, the baby still in your arms as the tears keep rolling down her face. Your light grey shirt is now soaking wet, both from her tears and your sweat from the anxiety she is giving you, mixed with some other things you choose to ignore where they came from.

The doorbell makes you jump, but Valerie doesn’t even bat an eye at the sound, she just keeps going.

“You need to teach me how to have this much energy,” you mumble under your breath as you walk over to the door.

Opening it you find yourself staring up at Harry who is wearing a brown coat, dark jeans and a black hoodie. If you had to guess what he was doing on this weekend evening you would have said he was out with friends somewhere, picking up girls, but he surely doesn’t look like he was anywhere else than his home, the clothes are hanging messily on his frame, like he just threw them on in a rush.

His green eyes look straight at you at first before moving over to the crying child in your arms. You fully expect him to say something along the lines of “this is the kind of effect you have on others” comment, but it seems like he notices the fear and despair in your eyes and he keeps his mouth shut.

“I honestly have no idea what to do,” you choke out and the tears start flowing from your eyes as well, making Harry have to deal with now two crying human beings.

“Oh my, please don’t cry, I can’t take two crying women at once,” Harry begs as he steps inside and shuts the door behind him. Turning to face you he reaches for Valerie, you hand her over to him, hoping she would magically stop the crying, but she clearly couldn’t care less.

“Why, can you take one?” you ask with a bitter chuckle as you wipe your cheeks.

“Not really,” he admits, making you smile. “So what have you tried?” he asks as he starts swaying and rocking Valerie in hopes of getting her to stop, but not even Harry’s charm stands a chance with her right now. Deep down you’re happy you weren’t the reason she got so fussy and upset, would have been pretty awkward if she stopped the moment Harry took her into his arms.

“Literally everything,” you huff, shoulders falling forward. “I went over the list Rosa gave me, tried everything, but she wouldn’t stop. She’s teething, but this is… It seems like there might be something else maybe?” you tell him worried that something serious might be behind her behavior. You really don’t want to call and bother Rosa, but you are nearing the point where you’ll give up and ask for help.

“Maybe she needs to be changed?” Harry suggests holding her up, giving her butt a sniff, but you roll your eyes at him.

“You don’t think that was one of the first things I did? She is as clean as she could be. Maybe I should just call Rosa,” you sigh in defeat reaching for your phone but Harry snaps at you.

“No! Don’t, we can figure this out. Steven has been so excited to have a night off, we can’t ruin this for them. Come on, we have to have the slightest parenting skills and solve this without them.”

Nodding you agree with him, but you’ve completely run out of ideas.

“So what do you suggest?”

You can see the gears turning in Harry’s head as he is trying to come up with a plan, but it’s not like either of you have any experience with babies. The idea of calling Rosa is starting to burn in the back of your head, fear of failing this challenge taking over your thoughts.

Then Harry looks at you with a look that screams that he has an idea. You’re just about to ask what came into his mind when all of a sudden he starts to sing.

“Well, sometimes I go out by myself and I look across the water, and I think of all the things what you’re doing and in my head I paint a picture…”

You instantly recognize Amy Whinehouse’s iconic song, the one that’s also behind Valerie’s name, you know that for sure. Rosa was obsessed with the song growing up, she would sing it on the way to school, in the shower or while making dinner. You weren’t surprised she chose this name for her first daughter.

What surprises you that Harry sings like a literal angel. He hits the notes perfectly, nailing the lines like not many can and you listen to him with parted lips, eyebrows raised. This was the last thing you expected from him, but then again, it’s not the first time Harry has surprised you through the years of knowing him.

Valerie stops for a moment, her hiccups shaking through her body as her tear-filled eyes look up to Harry, and you both think this is gonna be the moment when she finally calms down, but he doesn’t even reach the chorus before she starts crying again, a defeated sigh erupting from him.

“Maybe she wants it instrumental,” you suggest and Harry gives you one of those ‘are you fucking kidding me?’ looks as you leave to run down the hallway, right into your bedroom.

“How am I supposed to make it instru-- what the hell, Y/N?!” He gives you a weirded out look when you return with a guitar in your hands. “Since when do you play the guitar?”

“Since like… eighth grade,” you tell him as you sit on the couch and holding the guitar on your lap you try to find the right accords. “I told you, you know nothing about me.”

Harry nods with a surprised but amazed look on his face as your fingers strum against the chords. It takes a few minutes but you figure it out and glancing up you give a questioning look to Harry.

“From the start?” you ask and he nods his head, continuously bouncing up and down to try to calm Val down.

You start playing the song and soon enough Harry joins you with the singing, the two of you perfectly nailing it even without any practice.

“Stop makin’ a fool out of me, why don’t you come on over, Valerie?”

Maybe it’s the guitar, maybe it’s the singing or maybe the fact that the song has her name in it, but by the time you reach the halfway point in the song Valerie’s crying slowly starts to fade. You instantly share a look with Harry, but don’t stop, fearing that she might start again if the music stops.

Her tear soaked cheeks smooth out as she is not screaming anymore and you can actually see her irises finally, her long lashes are sticking together from the salty tears and you know it’s gonna take some time for her to regain her normal state, but at least the crying has stopped.

“‘Cause since I’ve come on home, well, my body’s been a mess. And I’ve missed your ginger hair and the way you like to dress…”

You tear your eyes off Valerie for a second, letting yourself wander over Harry’s features as he sings. He slightly furrows his eyebrows focusing on the lines, so his forehead has a few creases on it. His lips form the words so clearly and elegantly, you wonder how often he sings. Is it something he only does when he is on his own or he likes to perform as well?

The only time when you heard him sing was at the bar when the two of you slayed the karaoke machine with that Avril Lavigne song. You were smashed by then, you remember that he had a nice voice but it was the last thing you paid attention to. Besides, he was kind of equally drunk as you, it was all for just fun, but now is a completely different situation.

It’s no surprise Valerie finds his voice soothing, you’d probably stop whatever you were doing if you heard him sing. There are people with a good voice and then there are the ones that not just have a good voice but also that small something, that extra magic in them that makes you melt as their voice caress your ears. Harry is definitely the second case, for a moment you forget where you are or why he is there singing. It’s just his voice and the gentle strumming of your fingers on the chords.

At the end of the song he starts repeating Valerie as the song slowly fades into nothing and you both stare at the little girl in his arms, clearly afraid she might start crying again. Unfortunately, your reservations become valid when you see the corners of her mouth curls down and you and Harry share a shocked look immediately.

“What else can you play?” he urges as Val whimpers in his arms, letting you know she does not appreciate that the singing has stopped.

“Shit, shit! Um, something from ABBA?” you propose and Harry nods quickly, not even asking which song you know, so you take it as a sign that he probably knows all of them.

The first song that comes to your mind is Andante, Andante and you don’t hesitate to start playing again, just in time. Valerie was just about to start crying again, but as soon as the melody hit her little ears she calmed down and listened to it with tired looking eyes.

“Take it easy with me, please. Touch me gently like a summer evening breeze…” Harry sings the words and you can’t hold a smile back as he, once again, hits the notes just perfectly without missing a beat.

You’re convinced there’s not one person on Earth who has never heard a single Abba song, most of the population knows them by heart, but somehow you couldn’t really imagine Harry to be a person who knows the lyrics to the songs as well. But he does and sings it without messing it up even just once. It’s hard to imagine a younger version of Harry singing ABBA songs when they come on the radio, but the more you think about it the more the picture paints itself in your mind.

Valerie lays her head to Harry’s chest, stuffing her thumb into her mouth as she listens to the performance. She is probably enjoying the vibrance of his voice shaking through his chest and maybe this is what brings her the peace she’s been looking for all this time. Your heart skips a beat at the sight of them.

Harry glances at you, eyes so soft you melt under his gaze. However nerve wrecking it was to have Valerie scream for hours, she is still the cutest little thing ever as she rests her head on his chest, her long blinks giving it away she has definitely lost most of her energy.

You don’t dare to stop the singing and playing. When you near the end of a song you quickly think of something else and whisper it over to Harry, who then gives his feedback on it with either a nod or a shake of his head. Most of the time he knows the songs you suggest so the show continues without a stop.

Half an hour passes by when you see her eyes slowly closing. You still don’t stop though, only when Harry tries to listen to her breathing and he realizes that it was completely slowed down. She is out.

“Holy shit,” you breathe out quietly, your fingers feeling numb from the playing. You haven’t had a guitar in your hands for this long in a while, probably for years. Harry shares your relief, his throat has completely dried out and he is happy to finally breathe evenly, not just sneak a few breaths in between lines.

“And now what?” he mouths as he is still gently swaying around with the sleeping Valerie in his arms. You put the guitar aside and check if she is for real asleep. Her long lashes are spread out on her puffy cheeks, gently snoozing into Harry’s chest as if she weren’t screaming for dear life just an hour ago.

“Let’s put her down,” you whisper and nod at him to follow you.

Reaching your bedroom you only switch your bedside lamp on so the light doesn’t wake her up. Pushing the stuffed animals to the side you grab the blankets and let Harry do the critical job. Leaning down he oh so slowly starts to pull her away from his chest, careful not to move too suddenly, it all feels like in those action movies when they are trying to get through the lasers without triggering the alarm. One bad move and the screaming threatens to start again and that’s the last thing you want, after all you’ve done to calm her down.

You don’t even realize it but as you watch her little head reach the mattress you hold your breath, almost wincing upon seeing Harry’s hands slide out from under her sleeping frame. As if you wait for something to go wrong, both of you freeze for a moment, expecting her to start moving around and wake up, but she stays still.

Eyes snapping up to Harry, you exchange a look and then you both head to the door, careful not to make any noise that can possibly shake Valerie up from her dreams.

“This was more tiring than running a marathon,” he huffs, throwing himself to the couch and you do the same next to him.

“Have you ever run a marathon?”

“No,” he confidently answers and you look over at him with a puzzled look. “But I can imagine how tiring it is.”

You let out a chuckle, letting your eyes close for just a little bit. You haven’t even had the chance to realize how much this whole struggle with Val sucked the energy out of you, but now that you’re half lying on the couch it hits you all at once.

“I should get going,” you hear Harry mumble, clearly just as tired as you are, but he doesn’t move.

“Mhm,” you hum, feeling yourself drift to sleep.

Neither of you moves and it doesn’t take a whole five minutes for the both of you to completely doze off.

The next time you wake up you feel an arm curled around your waist and someone is definitely pressed up against you while your back is against the back of the couch. It takes you a couple of moments and some blinking to realize it’s Harry you are all snuggled up to and the reason why you woke up is because Valerie is crying again.

“Shit,” you mumble to yourself, mind still groggy from the sleep as you push yourself up on the couch. Just moments later Harry’s eyes flush open and you’re not sure it’s because of the crying or because you moved next to him. His arm slides off you as he looks around a little confused about his surroundings.

You don’t have the chance to think about how the two of you ended up cuddling on the couch, though it lingers in the back of your mind. Basically crawling over Harry you rush into your bedroom where Valerie is lying in her bed crying. It’s a different kind of cry, not like the one you were stuck with for hours before and you know she must be hungry.

“Ah, come on, little girl. It’s alright,” you coo at her scooping her into your arms. She immediately cuddles to your chest hiccupping against it, her little hands fisting your shirt. You leave to go to the kitchen and feed her, but just as you’re about to step out of the room you bump into Harry.

You bounce back from his chest, but his hand immediately reaches for you and grabs your arm, holding you in case you might fall back.

“Sorry,” you breathe out, thoughts still foggy a little. “She’s… hungry,” you explain, but he is standing so close to you, you can feel his body’s warmth and it instantly ignites the memory of being pressed against his side on the couch just moments ago and you can’t stop yourself from inhaling a shaky breath.

“Let me help,” he croaks out and the two of you walk into the kitchen. Putting on her bib you hand her over to Harry who sits with her on his lap on a stoop as you get the baby food, warm it a little before joining the two of them and you slowly start feeding her.

“What time is it?” you ask realizing you have no idea how long you two have been asleep on the couch.

“It’s three am,” Harry answers before smiling down at Val. “Good job, Val!” he hums watching her take the spoon into her mouth.

You finish up feeding her, then give a try at burping her even though Rosa said it’s not necessary anymore. She just hums to herself so you head back to the bedroom, her eyes already threatening to close. By the time you put her back to the bed she is out again, so no private show is needed this time.

Walking out of the room you see Harry putting on his shoes and coat. For a split second you feel disappointed that he is leaving, but then your rational side puts you to your place. Of course he is leaving! Val is fine now, there’s no other reason for him to stay, right?

“Harry,” you softly say and he looks at you. “Can you please not tell Rosa and Steven that I needed help with Val?” you quietly ask, though there’s no doubt your eyes are practically begging him.

“No way I’ll ever admit to Steven that I sang ABBA to his child, so don’t worry about it,” he chuckles making you smile as well.

“Thank you. And for helping me as well. I was really close to giving it up,” you admit folding your arms on your chest as Harry stands at the front door, hand on the door knob as he is looking back at you.

“No problem. Now you owe me one,” he smirks and you can’t hold yourself back from rolling your eyes.

“Sure,” you say with an airy chuckle. “Good night, Harry.”

“Good night, Y/N,” he smiles at you sweetly before opening the door and walking out.

You take his place at the door and watch him walk down the eerily quiet hallway. He turns back to you one last time waving in your way and you nod back smiling before he disappears around the corner.

Closing the door you lean your back against it, taking a deep breath. Your eyes wander over to the couch where you and Harry were sleeping not so long ago. The feeling of his arm around you is still burned into your mind and you breathe in shakily as a memory snaps into your head of the exact same thing, only years earlier.

You lied almost exactly like that in his hotel room that night. His strong arms wrapped around you as you had your head laid on his chest, listening to his heartbeat that was slightly faster than the normal. Though you were still quite drunk, this feeling imprinted into your memories, because you felt so safe with him. Like nothing could ever hurt you if he was there with you.

Unfortunately, that feeling faded into nothing when you woke up in the morning quite fast. But this time, instead of disappointment and disgust, the only thing you still feel is the emptiness at the lack of his touch.

PREVIOUS PART

NEXT PART

TAGLIST

let me know if you’d like to be added or taken off!

@f-vasquezp @perspnhel @http-cherries @h-arrystyles @just-damn-bored @millennial-teenybopper @sarcasticallywitty15 @gwenlovesharrystyles @perfectywrong @do-youseeme @burberryharold

#harry #styles #harry styles #harry styles oneshot #harry styles series #harry styles one shot #harry styles imagine #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles angst #harry styles fluff #harry styles x you #harry styles x y/n #harry styles x reader #harry styles valerie #harry styles valerie series #valerie series

540 notes · View notes