#ive been sobbing into my pillow for TWO DAYS NOW

[boonasaurusrex]

I feel like the fucking Patrick meme

"Your Specific Acronym is defined by wild swings from extreme highs to very low lows"

"Yes."

"You were diagnosed because you exhibit these behaviors."

"Yep."

"The medication you've been prescribed helps to level those swings"

"Absolutely."

"The medication has been having less of an effect recently."

"Yeah, I made an appointment to get them readjusted"

"That means the old behaviors are coming back."

"Yep, on it"

"You've been riding a strong high for the past several days"

"Uh huh"

"Which means a low is coming and is simply a symtom of The Illness"

"No actually I'm just physically repulsive and incapable of love and all of my coworkers (not friends because I can't make friends) hate me and are mocking me at every turn and I'll never make a human connection again in my life because I'm so repulsive and weird and isolated. These are intrinsic truths that have nothing to do with current events :)))))))))"

[evie-sturns]

𝘦𝘮𝘱𝘵𝘺 𝘣𝘦𝘥 - 𝘔𝘢𝘵𝘵 𝘚𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘰𝘭𝘰

summary: when you and matt first started dating, you made a rule, that you two would never go to sleep mad at each other, but tonight a heated argument breaks that rule.

warnings: arguing, angst?, crying, swearing, fluff.

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me and matt don't fight often, in our 4 months of being together we've only bickered, aside from the odd big argument. we always make up by the end of the day because of our rule. never fall asleep angry with each other.

9:48pm

"matt i promise, i didn't mean to." i sigh, i'm exhausted after our arguing, which has been going on for 45 minutes.

"you didn't mean to search my phone, im sure." he scoffs, grabbing his phone and checking the time.

"i fucking didn't matt, your phone was being spammed every 2 seconds so i picked it up, then you came in, its not my fault it looked different from how it actually was."

i say, my voice raising as i go to walk away, but matt grabs my wrist, yanking me back towards him. "so all the other apps that had been opened weren't you hm?"

he says glaring down at me, matt never loosens his painful grip, i don't think he even realises he's hurting me. his rings leave red marks on my arm.

"im going to sleep matthew." i say, my voice barely audible and wobbling.

matt's grip softens, allowing me to pull away.

i run upstairs, slamming the door to the bedroom behind me as i hold back my tears.

i rarely cry, matt's only seen me cry a handful of times meaning its a shock for him each time i do.

i strip down to just a tank top and panties before crawling into bed, shutting my eyes, hoping to sleep off the built-up frustration inside me.

just as i feel myself drifting to sleep the door swings open, followed by matt's angry stomps. he rips down the covers and plops himself in, before yanking them back up.

after a few minutes i roll over, matts back is facing me. i reach out a hand to grab his, he pushes me off. "dude don't fucking touch me?" matt says, somehow moving further away from me.

that'll do it.

i climb out of bed, grabbing my pillow as i walk over to the small basket in the corner of our room, filled with blankets from our previous movie nights. i pull up a blanket into my arms as tears fill my waterline. matt flicks on the lamp which rests on our bedside table, a warm yellow light fills the room.

"what the fuck are you doing this time." matt says, squinting his eyes.

i erupt into sobs, my face scrunching as tears soak my face. through my blurred vision, i can partially see concern and worry painted across matts face. i have a pillow under my arm, a blanket in my other and im clutching matts pug stuffed animal, which we share now.

i walk out of the bedroom, shutting the door softly behind me before sprinting downstairs, i place my pillow down on the small couch, and lay down, pulling the grey blanket over me and cuddling the pug to my chest, which shortly gets damp from my tears.

11:34pm

i dont know how long ive been asleep, or even where i am, but i'm woken up from matts arms around me, holding me in a bridal position. "matt..?" i say, looking up at him through my swollen eyes.

"i know gorgeous, theres no heating down here its too cold for you sweetheart." matt says, his voice soft and quiet.

my eyebrows furrow, did we even fight? or did i dream it? i look down at my wrist, which is red from where matt grabbed me earlier,

we fought.

matt carries me upstairs, his grip on me is so gentle i cant even comprehend how I'm being held up right now.

he opens our bedroom door with his elbow, the room is pristine, cleaner than I've ever seen it. "why is it so tidy in here.." i squeeze out, my voice raspy. matt clears his throat "oh-.. uh couldn't sleep so i cleaned.."

he pulls back the covers, readjusting the pillow with one hand before laying me down. "do you want me to come in the bed with you or are you happy by yourself.." matt says, his voice timid.

"you can come in.." i say, wide awake now and fully aware of everything thats happened in the past 3 hours.

matt lies down next to me, his body tense.

"im really sorry, i feel so guilty." matt says, tilting his head to look over at me. i nod, "it was my fault too." i say, fidgeting with my nails.

"no its not, i overreacted so much i don't even know what went over me, i regret it so much." matts voice shakes.

"i feel like shit for even touching you." matt says, "and i'm sorry for waking you up but i didnt want to break our rule.."

"huh?" i say, looking over at him, our eyes making eye contact.

"no going to bed angry with eachother.." he says with a small laugh.

i roll over to face him, a wide smile spread across my face. "oh matt.." i say, climbing ontop of him and laying down, burying my face on his shoulder and wrapping my arms around, underneath him.

he hugs me back with a sigh of relief, but somethings different,

"matt! where are your rings?" i say, sitting up on his torso and grabbing his hand.

"i couldn't even look at them without feeling guilty, i know they dug into your arm.."

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i love this i was in such a writey mood

[pumpkinbxtch]

𓇼 the sun & the sea 𓇼 〰✷〰

— apollo / lester x daughter of poseidon!reader

part i | part ii | part iii | part iv

☆ radiostar is playin': forever always by the driver era…!

warnings: none taglist: @emidpsandia

He, apparently, was dead missing.

"He went alone on the mission with Python. He hasn't returned for three days now." A month later, Meg contacted you through an Iris message and explained everything that had happened. A month later and the days passed, nobody knew about him.

"We only know that he retrieved all the Oracles and the gifts of prophecy returned," Chiron told you, and Dionysus, for the first time, looked nervous and worried about his brother.

But if Apollo had succeeded in his mission, where was he? You hadn't dreamed of him either. Days went by and your anxiety grew.

"I didn't agree, but my brother insisted on pushing him to the limit," Poseidon said seriously, and Percy replied, "I think he took it too literally, don't you?" You suppressed a groan while your father scolded your brother with his gaze. Python was gone forever, but they knew nothing of Apollo.

"It's okay, it's only been five days," you thought, but you realized that every day you did it with a new number and without any news until almost two weeks had passed... Honestly, you didn't know how many times you had cried in all that time, you didn't even bother to hide it, and even your roommate requested a room change.

Lately, the time was bad in every sense. Thunder rumbled, and you hugged the pillow tighter, tears already rolling down your cheeks. The room was colder than usual; after all, you were alone in it. You accompanied yourself with the dim light of your desk lamp, and the flash of lightning illuminated the darkest corners. You realized you were crying over too many things, everything was very recent, you hadn't even finished processing Jason's death, and those lightning bolts... all they did was remind you of it.

"Wasn't it enough with him?" You wondered as you let out your sobs. Jason was his son just like Apollo, and if he led them both to death just to reaffirm his authority to everyone, you had no doubts that Zeus was a cruel father. The thunder shook the window, and you closed your eyes in anger, not retracting anything, even if Zeus annihilated you with one of his lightning bolts, you would never do so. Probably beyond, on Olympus, your own father struggled with annoyance with his brother, but even if Poseidon wasn't half the father that Paul was to you and Percy, he would never allow you to be harmed.

Your tennis sounded against the wet sand of the path leading to your favorite café. You walked in a ghost town with a hollow chest and the cold penetrating your bones, but it didn't matter because you already felt like those skeletons that Nico brought to the surface when he was in a bad mood; anyway, you moved forward to have a hot chocolate, it was Sunday, you had to have enough strength for classes the next day.

— Here it is — the lady said when you had just formed in line at the bar. You frowned and shook your head.

— Surely it's for someone else, I just got in line.

The girl smiled and looked at the label.

— Hot chocolate? —she asked in the waiting line, and no one recognized it, she returned to you and handed it to you again. — It was ordered in advance.

A joke from Frank? Frank didn't make jokes. But if it were, how did he know what you wanted?

You took it and looked at the label, it had a sun drawn on it that made you purse your lips. "Of course, it had to be," you thought bitterly and walked back taking the long way, the one that passed by the small Tiber.

The sunlight barely reflected on the water after all it was covered by the clouds, and you sighed as you looked at the huge body of water, your chest hurt. How did this happen? You would be better off if you hadn't entered that Grove, but you had to do your will, but you wouldn't have had those days with Apollo, which provoked mixed emotions in you again.

"this rhymes for him were different, but he hopes for put that ring and find what he's been missing."

— If you wanted to marry me so much, come back and do it — you murmured with your nose buried in your scarf and tears stinging your eyes. You cut your step and faced the river that continued to shine coldly, the small cup you held slipped from your hands with each sob, and when you let out the first whimper, you let it go. However, it didn't fall. You gasped, and when you looked beside you, your breath left you.

Of those brown curls, only a few remained mixed with the blond ones, of the freckles you counted that last time you had him too close, there were only about three hundred instead of a thousand. He was taller, and his body more athletic, but he wore the same Led Zeppelin t-shirt and ripped jeans from the knees. His smile was big and triumphant, the same blue eyes you had been waiting to see were just trying to memorize your fractions in the same way you were doing with him.

— And are you serious or are you just fooling me?— His voice. You threw yourself into his arms without considering if he could be hurt, but judging by how he looked... then you took him by the shoulders, he foolishly thought you would kiss him, but you just leaned back and kicked him in the chest with the skill that only you could have.

He groaned on the ground in a fetal position, and seconds later, he rose on his elbows with a confused look.

— Idiot — you shouted as you walked towards him and knelt to be at his height. Apollo couldn't help but smile like an idiot, and you couldn't help but hug him again. — Where the hell were you?

Your whimpering caused guilt in his chest, and he took care of your head as both lay back on the grass. He stroked your hair as you clung to his chest, wishing his scent would imprint on you to never forget it.

— Hey…— He called you, and you looked up, noticing tears in his eyes too. You cupped his cheek and, before he could say anything else, you kissed him. The first kiss. He closed his eyes, completely surrendered to you, feeling like he could finally breathe freely after months. When your soft lips left his, he held you tightly, burying his face in your neck. You couldn't see it, but Apolo had a flushed face and a knot in his stomach.

But you didn't need to see it, because as he hid in you, the sun broke through the clouds, shining brightly, almost lighting up the whole world with brighter colors than before. It was with that detail that you confirmed he had become a god again, and his feelings were showing to you in too many ways.

— I…— You spoke after several minutes of silence, causing him to sit properly on the grass with you, holding your hand. — I do want to be with you. I'm not just messing around, just so we're clear.

— Do you have an alternative? — He joked, and you gently pushed him while nervously looking at your hands.

— Fool.

— For you, of course — he cooed as he took your chin in his hand and forced you to look at him. His cheeks were still flushed, but you noticed that his skill to seduce without seeming like an inexperienced teenager had returned, and that's where your first jealousy arose because you wished only you could have that side of him.

— And only for me, I'm sure — you grumbled under your breath at having that thought, and he laughed.

— I was born to love only you, believe me.— Apollo said, getting up and offering his hand to help you. — And just like art, I'll be faithful to you.

— Wow, what a great poet — you took his hand, and he took you by the waist, bending down to touch his nose to yours. You never believed in the expression "like a Greek god" until he looked at you in that way.

— Are you going to marry me? — He stroked your nose with his while gently squeezing your waist. You nodded silently like a fool, and he gave you a peck on the lips with a smirk. — I just wanted to make sure, but actually, I don't need any of that to be devoted to you. You're everything to me.

He took your hand and led you along the edge of the small Tiber, which now shone fervently.

•

— Apollo! — You shouted from the reception of the mansion on Olympus, closing the big door forcefully and looking at your husband playfully peeking behind his throne.

— Yes, dear? — You pursed your lips and approached him.

— Where are my things?

— Which ones? — He played dumb, and you sighed.

— From my bedroom at the university, where are they?

—In your room...— you raised an eyebrow — here.

You growled and pulled him to come out from behind the throne.

— I told you it would be until I graduated.

Apollo pouted and slumped his shoulders.

—But I miss you.

You smiled and hugged him.

— I miss you too, but— you stepped back and showed the ring on your ring finger —I have this, darling, and that's enough to scare off my classmates. I don't need to come down from Olympus every day when I can be in the dorms.

Apollo nodded regretfully.

— Alright, alright...— he snapped his fingers and smiled at you — everything is already in your silly university dorm.

You smiled and gave him a kiss. As you started making your way to the exit, he sighed.

— I'll see you tonight — he shouted, and you turned around smiling.

The Sun illuminates the beauty of the sea but never tries to contain it, and the sea shows the sun that even in the stormiest moments or the darkest nights, its light never fades.

[sweetracha]

Hi sweet peach! It’s 🧋 from your other account! I hope you’re resting after working hard! Here’s a soft and smutty thought for you!

Just Felix helping you unwind after a hard day. He puts your favorite kitten collar on you before letting you hump his pillow all while praising you before getting behind you to join the humping. You both rock your hips and bounce on the soft surface til you both spoil his pillow.

He’s just so sweet to you 💜

okay okay okay...god this has been on my mind since you sent it. Everyday I think about it at least once...thats not a joke.

Ive been wanting to write a longer fic with it, hence why it has been sitting so long. Today is my last day of freedom so I knew I wanted to get this idea out there to the world.

Don't be surprised if a longer Felix fic uses this plot.

Pillow Talk

Sugar Content: Spicy Sweet (SMUT!), Sugary Sweet (Fluff)

Allergy Warning: Switch! Felix (Dom lean), Switch! Reader (Sub lean), Pet Play (Outfit and nicknames), Pillow Riding, Praise, Felix Watches, Dry Humping?, Soft Smut with Felix

Felix knew today was going to be a rough one for you. With your recent promotion to manager, and then lack of training for the position, he knew the pressure the company was putting on you. When you texted him on your break you explained how you were about to break down from it all. Then on your lunch when you called he could hear the sniffles from a post-sob session. Felix couldn't fix it right now, as much as he wanted to. However, he could make your night as enjoyable as possible.

You stumbled through the front door. Your outfit was disheveled in stark comparison to how you left this morning. The cry that left you once you removed your shoes alerted Felix that you were home.

"Is that my pretty kitty?" The sunshine smile appeared around the corner and out of the hallway.

"It's something anyways," you remarked back. The stern glare you got in return surprised you.

Felix and you were known to play around in your free time. Trying every kink at least once. He was quick to learn you leaned a bit more towards the submissive side, especially after a hard day. Kitten was his power move. One or two mentions of the nickname and you were a puddle at his feet.

"You know I don't like it when you say stuff like that" Felix tilted your chin up so you could look him in the eyes. "Now what are you?"

"A pretty kitty"

"A who's are you?" You searched his eyes for the dynamic of tonight before answering.

"I am master's" Felix's low hum approved of your choices.

He led you into the shared bedroom where he helped you change out of your work clothes and into something more comfortable. This being one of his long tee shirts and a pair of you panties that made him go crazy. Felix sat you down at the edge of the bed and disappeared into the bathroom. Once he was back you saw the brush and make-up wipes he was holding.

"Close your eyes, kitten. Good girl" He gently removed your make-up before fixing your hair.

Your eyes began to part open but the action was quickly stopped.

"Eyes closed. Don't make me say it again. Obey what your owner tells you, kitten. You know the rules." Usually, his voice held a level of scary authority when he reprimanded you but something about this was different. It was soft, almost like a gentle reminder if nothing else.

Soon enough you felt something clip into your hair, then another. The jingling sound is what put it all together. It wrapped around your throat just tight enough that you felt some pressure. A warm feeling ran through your body as you slipped deeper into the comforting fuzz. You already knew what it all was.

"Open your eyes kitten"

You opened them to see your reflection in the mirror. Perfectly shaped cat ears were nestled into your hair, and the blue bows at the base matched the ones on your panties. It complimented nicely with your baby blue collar. A single bell hung from the bow in the middle along with a tag that had Felix's name and contact information.

"Sweet kitten, look at you" the rumble in his tone almost mimicked a purr. "So soft baby, my tiny little thing. You look so precious, but you know that right? You know you are my favorite pet. Now let your owner treat you, you've been so good after all."

Felix propped up his pillow on the bed after folding it in half. He made quick work of your panties, but instead of tossing them somewhere random, he stashed them away for later. He picked you up with ease and placed you right on the fold. The crease of the pillow met your clit and made you moan instantly.

"My kitten is already purring. She must be so sensitive today" Felix soothed you as he took a seat just across from where you were. From here he had a perfect view of your face, but also of your ass in the vanity.

"Go on baby. Be a good kitten and hump master's pillow"

And so you did. Back and forth your hips rocked against the silk covering. You squeezed your thighs closer together to try and gain more friction. The speed you set was desperate and wild. Usually, sex with Felix was graceful and methodical, like his dancing. Tonight, however, you acted on instinct.

It has been over 30 minutes and you could feel yourself getting closer. You were right on the edge of sweet relief but you couldn't quite get there. You wailed out in hopelessness. When you opened your eyes to beg Felix for something more he was gone.

Then the sound of a zipper was heard behind you, along with the removal of his boxers. A hand cupped your face before a body could be felt behind you. Felix straddled the pillow and spooned himself up to you.

"Hips up kitten" Felix commanded with a few taps to your exposed skin. Once up, you felt some shifting behind you. Felix lowered your hips once more. But instead of feeling silk, you felt skin.

Felix had his bare cock slotted under you, trapping it between your pussy and the pillow. The cool silk and your hot skin sent Felix into a dizzying spiral.

"Hump, Kitten" Was all he said before his hands helped you move again.

This is what you needed to be pushed over the edge. The head of his cock slammed repeatedly into your clit. Soon enough the stimulation took over your body as you shook violently.

Felix wasn't doing much better. After about 3 rotations he was ready to cum, already staining his cover with pre-cum. He tried to keep his Dom composer but the whines that left his throat were failing him. His nails dug into your hips as he tried to hold on for dear life. Once he felt your thighs quake it was over.

Both of you came with a crying moan, one high-pitched and the other low. You slumped back into Felix as his chest breathed unsteady breaths. A gentle kiss is placed on the back of your head.

"My sweet kitten"

The Sweetest Batch: @goblinracha, @xx3rachaslutxx, @j-onedrabbles, @lixiesweetbrownie, @marrivmel,@lyramundana , @raaaaaaahhhh , @the-geese-shall-dominate

[fat-fem-and-asian]

oversharing on the internet bc this is my personal diary thank you

ok so recently my dad took a fall and his spine was fucked up and he's lost some mobility in his arms (we do not know what he will or won't get back it literally happened two days ago (two days ago? nia ur on tumblr a lot for it to have been so recent. to that i say we all cope in different ways and i have two very nice brothers to spread the load of supporting my parents)) and my family is service based very action based very task based (it is family tradition to get mad if someone doesnt thank you properly for something they didnt ask you to do in the first place) and very immediately with any loss ive noticed the biggest and most emotional burden is all of the fucking things they did. god i wish my dad was not so responsible. i wish he didn't get the mail and take care of the yard and deal with the bills and wash the dishes. there is so much extra load now so many things he did that someone still has to do while he can't. it was the same when my grandpa passed there was so much that he did that each of us took a little chunk of as our responsibility - see my writing about his passing and me watering his yard - and it makes me think of the thing ray bradbury said about losing his grandfather how they were robbed of all the things he could have done to the world. And i think about that with my dad and his arms and how much he still wanted to do with them and frankly honestly totally transparently i fucking sobbed into my pillow about it. anyways. there is so much to love and be grateful for and there is so much to get done. if u were freak enough to read this i actually do encourage you to go do something to the world preferably kind preferably kind to someone who needs it drastically. it is so weird that in my grief i have felt an overwhelming urge to help others the people and families suffering in the world because i cannot imagine how they are surviving worse than this and how would you not be moved to help them. The world shouldn't be robbed of them either. anyways. much love. much to do.

[jugheadthelesbian]

wip wednesday !!

here’s some morcia dialogue practice ive been working on

Penelope wishes they could’ve stayed in that moment, two girls hopelessly pining for people they couldn’t have, but then the Fisher King attacked them and Penelope fucked everything up and Elle got shot. Derek nearly got blown up.  And it is all Penelope’s fault. They get the weekend off, all three days, because of emotional damage. Penelope, who originally still had to work, goes home at Gideon’s request. She can’t look him in the eyes anymore. “How could you be so stupid?” He told her. Long forgotten are the flowers and MP3 player from a few weeks ago. Shame and guilt stabs her in the heart and she stays in bed for all of Friday and late into Saturday as well, ignoring her phone and the missed calls she lets go to voicemail. 

She keeps replaying Derek’s disappointment in her over and over again in her head. His frown when he realized what she had done. Just him and how he probably hated her. How they all probably hated her. She bet that they were all hanging out together right now, talking about how terrible she is for what she did. For letting the Fisher King hack into her iron fortress of a computer system. She lies curled up in a ball on her bed, sobbing into her pillow like a petulant child. Nearly two days pass like this, she moves like a ghost in her own home, before Derek Morgan shows up at her door.

“Fucking hell, baby girl,” He says, immediately hugging her tight to him once she opens the door. “I was so worried about you. You never ignore my calls.” He speaks into the crown of her head and she breathes in the scent of his soft T-shirt. “Can I… come in?” He asks and Penelope notices how he doesn’t let go until she does. She nods and turns away so he doesn’t see her cry. She’s grateful for confining herself to her bedroom for the past two days because the rest of the house is relatively clean which is good. Of course, Derek has been over at her house before, after hard cases or just when the two of them needed someone to talk to, but this is different. She hasn’t seen him since the attack and she doesn’t even know what to think of him anymore.

She stifles her crying, gesturing for him to sit on the couch while she moves into the kitchen. Her heart hurts and she can’t breathe, she has to push herself to not sob. She’s making this about herself which is  what she always does and she should just like die or something. She hates herself and she’s being dramatic and she can’t breathe. “Penelope?” Derek’s in the kitchen now with her. And she’s sobbing like crazy now. “What’s wrong?” 

“It was all my fault,” She cries out and in two steps he’s hugging her. She doesn’t deserve this, whatever the two of them are. She doesn’t deserve him. “And I can’t do this with you anymore.” She pushes him off of her. 

“Do what, Pen?” He asks with wide eyes, his hands up in surrender, like he’s not a threat. He’s not a threat, she is and the way she feels is and that’s the problem. “I don’t understand, did I do something?” He cautiously inquires, taking a step closer to Penelope, hands still up in surrender because he thinks he did something wrong when she’s the one who ruined everything. Who will ruin everything and wants to cross over the invisible boundary line they’ve created.

@voidratwrites @eico-23 if yall want to share any wips

[winter-spiders]

Kinktober day 17

Threesome - WinterSpiderShield 764 words

Peter had some fantasies he had never wanted to see the light of day. One of the most recurring ones were having a threesome with the soldier boys, Steve and Bucky. That would be the most least-likely one that could happen, so he doesnt know why it was that one his mind focused on so much. 

Steve and Bucky had been dating since Steve was still a tiny twink who got into fights. Steve fell first, but hid it, then Bucky came clean after a drunken night, now that they were in 2022, they didnt have to hide their relationship, they didnt have to fear getting beaten or killed just for being gay. But Something was missing, they were,,mostly happy, but everyone in a while, they would realize that while they loved each other, they both missed having or being with someone smaller than themselves. Then Peter came along. 

Peter Parker with his curly brown hair, a hero complex that made Steves ego deflate slightly out of shame, was as strong, if not stronger than both of them put together. Bucky love peter because he reminds him of the tiny Brooklyn boy he knew a few decades back, Steve loved him because of just how beautiful the boy was. 

When Peter started inviting Steve and Bucky over to his room in the compound, to show them some modern films (which were mostly Star Wars and Star Trek), Bucky enjoyed the movies. Still, Steve enjoyed  staring at Peter for hours on end, the younger never noticed, as he was memorized by the films playing on the screen (why did tony give Peter not only the biggest room but the biggest TV steve and bucky had ever seen.) 

After a long talk between the older two, they both decided that once Peter invited them both over for a movie night, they would just sit down and talk to Peter about their feelings, and hope that they were reciprocated. Peter was nervous, both of the guys had been acting weird, and also avoiding him, which made the younger sad, because he really thought that they liked him back. 

After getting tired of them avoiding him he waited in the shared kitchen, hidden on the roof. Bucky and Steve had not seen it coming, they didnt even fully realize that they were avoiding him, until they were eating breakfast, and saw a flash of red and blue drop down from the ceiling. 

Peter pulled off his mask, tears almost falling from his eyes, “where have you guys been? Ive been trying to talk to you guys for weeks and you guys just ignore me. What-what did I do wrong?” Bucky and Steve were floored, this angel was almost crying because of them? Now that just wouldnt do. 

“I thought you guys liked me too, but i think ive made you uncomfortable with my unwanted feelings around. I-Im sorry guys.” Peter turned and almost ran off until he was stopped by two very large hands on his shoulders. “We both love you Peter, so much, We’ve wanted to tell ou for so long-” Bucky interrupted him. “Peter, we both are very sorry, when we realized that we both wanted you in the relationship with us, we thought you might not want us around us all the time.” 

Peter smirked, making Steve and Bucky blush slightly. “I think i can find it in my heart to forgive you, but it comes with a price.” Bucky leaned forward slightly, “i like how you think, doll, Steve? Wanna take this to our room?” Steve blushed again, but nodded, smile bigger than ever. 

About twenty minutes later, Steve was lying on his back, Peter between his legs, cock pushing in and out while Bucky was pushing his fingers into Peters hole. Making Peters hips stutter slightly “fuck, Peter, harder, please” Steve moaned, head thrown back into his pillow. Bucky finally finished stretching and pushed his cock into Peter, creating an overstimulated mess of Peter, he would thrust into Steve, making Bucky's cock pull out, and when he pulled out, Bucky's cock would hit his prostate. 

They basically made a train. They went on for hours, all finishing multiple times. Until Peter was sobbing in pleasure, Steve gripped the sheets till they ripped and Bucky was trembling as he thrust, then he had to pull out. Peter finally pulled out too, Steve took a deep breath, god he loved that, watching his long-time partner taking apart a boy he also loved, it was exhilarating.

They have to do this again.

[yxlenas]

Edancy Week Day 1: Hanukkah Celebration

Also Here

I am not Jewish nor do I have children but this was beta'd by a dear friend who IS Jewish and checked behind me, and I have a niece and a nephew so Esther's babyisms are based on those two.

Esther Amelia Munson is born on the seventh day of Hanukkah, a week and a half after her due date. 

Nancy sits, legs still half numb from the epidural, IV in her wrist, as Wayne washes her face. His hands are large, warm, and calloused against her skin, one arm looped around her back to keep her upright. There are clean pajamas waiting for her on the counter in the little bathroom, her skincare set up on the edge of the sink. She’s so tired, vaguely nauseous from the stress of birth, and her incision throbs dully between her hips. 

“You feeling okay sitting up?” her father in law asks nervously, opening her lotion and smoothing some against her cheeks. Nancy doesn’t blame him for being anxious. Her vitals had been so unstable she’d started blacking out trying to push, so dizzy she’d vomited several times, and they’d decided to perform a C-section just to finally give her some relief and keep Esther from going into distress. 

“M’okay,” she breathes, “just getting sleepy.” 

 Wayne doesn’t look convinced, reaching for her pajamas with one hand and feeling the pulse on the side of her neck with the other.

“Little fast, kiddo,” he comments, “arms out.”

Wayne helps her into one of Eddie’s soft button up flannels and a pair of his loose sweats, tugging her hair into a ponytail for her. Her belly is starting to hurt more the longer she sits upright, and when Wayne hands her her toothbrush she notices dully that her hands are shaking. 

“I don’t think I feel very good,” Nancy rasps as Wayne wraps both arms around her middle and lifts her to her feet. She lets her head fall against his chest as Wayne rubs her back through Eddie’s old shirt. Wayne keeps a careful hold of her as they shuffle back into her hospital room. Nancy is so focused on picking up her feet and not tripping in her exhaustion that she doesn’t look up until Wayne gently nudges her.

“Oh, Eddie,” she gasps. Her husband beams at her, shirtless and in a pair of joggers with little menorahs all over them. Nancy had matching ones, but she’d been wearing them when her water broke. Esther is tucked against his chest in a baby sling, one tiny, chubby fist curled up next to his nipple piercing. 

There’s an electric menorah in the window of the room, six candles lit up, and a cheesy paper banner that says “Happy Hanukkah” hanging over her hospital bed. On a plate next to her hospital bed are latkes and pierogi from that Jewish deli they all love. Eddie lifts Esther out of the baby sling and carefully adjusts her so Nancy can see her onesie, a little royal blue one with “my first Hanukkah” on it in gold, sparkly lettering. She bites back a sob, remembering how she’d cried over Esther never getting to wear it when they’d missed her due date. Her baby girl looks adorable in it, a tiny velcro bow in her dark curls that matches. Her sleepy eyes are open, blue irises, and she smacks her lips and lets out a little sound. 

“Say hi, Mama,” Eddie coos, waving their daughter’s little arm, “Chag Sameach!” 

Nancy is in tears now, Wayne smoothing the blankets over her legs and helping her lean back against her pillows before taking a seat in one of the chairs in her hospital room. Esther lets out a slightly sharper cry and Eddie walks over to the bed and slips onto the edge, passing their baby over to her. Esther nestles her little head against Nancy’s chest and starts nursing contentedly. It’s almost surreal, feeling her weight. 

“You look beautiful,” Eddie murmurs, taking the plate of latkes and cutting her off a bite, offering the fork. Nancy lets him feed her since her hands are occupied with a happily eating newborn, but makes a face at him for telling her she’s pretty.

“I can’t shower because I got cut open, I’m in a diaper because there’s like 9 months of periods coming out of me, I’m sweaty, and you watched me throw up like three times today,” she grumbles, taking another bite of latke, “and then watched them lift a gooey, bloody, screaming creature out of me.” 

“Esther, tell your mama she’s beautiful,” Eddie murmurs. Esther just smacks her lips and keeps eating, but she does clutch at one of Eddie’s pinkies with a chubby fist. Nancy adjusts herself so she can lean against Eddie’s bare chest, snuggling into his warmth as Esther finishes eating and blinks up at Nancy, milk drunk. 

“Come ‘ere,” Eddie says, then gets farther onto the bed and under the blankets with her, scooping Nancy into his lap and throwing a burp cloth over her shoulder. Esther snuggles down against her once her belly is full and she’s comfortable, long lashes fluttering closed against her pink cheeks. Nancy finishes eating cradled in Eddie’s lap, her infant sleeping happily on her chest. Esther’s hair is downy soft when she runs her fingers through it, her skin warm. Nancy feels her eyes start to get heavy.

“Why don’t we do the menorah,” Eddie murmurs into her sweaty ponytail, “and then I brought you your present.”

“Oh,” She slurs into Esther’s scalp, “I forgot yours.”

“Baby,” Eddie says, quirking an eyebrow at her, “You just gave birth to the best Hanukkah present I could ever want.” He punctuates his statement by dragging a tattooed finger down Esther’s tiny nose and over the bow of her rosebud mouth. Esther’s little face wrinkles, and she nuzzles against Nancy’s half naked chest. 

“She is pretty great,” Nancy mumbles. Her head falls back against Eddie’s collarbone and she presses her cheek against where her name is tattooed above his heart. 

“Don’t think I can get up to get the menorah,” Nancy murmurs after a few seconds, “It’s starting to hurt.” 

“You’re about due for more pain meds, motek,” Wayne says, “You want me to get a nurse?”

Nancy shakes her head tiredly, sinking further into Eddie’s warmth and under her covers. Eddie gently adjusts the baby so that he’s got one big hand splayed across her tiny back.

“I’ll do the bulb,” Wayne offers, standing from his chair and popping his spine, “And we can all do the prayer, huh?”

Nancy starts to pray and tries to keep up, but after about three words she just closes her eyes and lets the rhythm of Eddie and Wayne’s smooth Hebrew flow over her. Esther makes a cooing sound and wiggles a bit but Nancy is just so tired-

“Why don’t we go see Saba, E? Nance, can Wayne take the baby?”

Nancy nods, pries her eyes open enough to watch Wayne scoop Esther out of Eddie’s arms. Esther wriggles a little, clenching a tiny hand around the chain of Wayne’s Magen David.

“Soon you’ll have one too, bubbeleh,” Wayne tells her, eyes tearing up as he looks into her face. Nancy grins. 

“We can do your present tomorrow,” Eddie offers, adjusting so they’re mostly laying down in her bed. Nancy shakes her head. She can hear Wayne talking quietly to Esther in Hebrew, tilts her head so she can see the delicate way he cradles his granddaughter to his chest in his chair. Esther’s eyes are open, cloudy newborn blue locked on Wayne’s rugged face.

Her hands tremble as she tries to slip the paper off the tiny box Eddie hands her, cuddling ever closer to him in her fatigue. Eddie brushes a hand over her hair and helps her tear the tape off the box, wads up the paper and puts it on the bedside table. Eddie opens the box for her and Nancy just stares.

It’s a pendant shaped like a mother and child, delicate silver with a blue topaz set in the middle. She’s almost scared to touch it, fingers tracing the tiny baby’s head.

“Eddie-” 

“I was going to give you this on the last night,” he says into her hair, throat thick with tears, “But then Esther decided to make her appearance and I thought-”

“It’s beautiful,” she sniffles, “Please put it on me.”

Eddie has to lift her head for her, cradling it in a more upright position against his throat so he can loop the necklace around her throat and do up the clasp. It’s cool against her skin, settling delicately on her sternum.

“I got it on Etsy,” he says, “I know you love that small business stuff.”

“Don’t knock Etsy,” Nancy says, “S’where I got your pants.” Eddie helps her lay down completely, curving himself around her body and propping his head on one tattooed hand. He’s warm, still bare chested, and he’s looking down at her with the most dopey expression on his face. She loves him so much. She loves the baby they made together so much. She’s so tired. Nancy lets her eyes fall shut. 

Wayne starts to sing across the room to the baby, something in Hebrew Nancy only recognizes from her and Eddie’s wedding. Eddie joins in, chest rumbling under her head. She listens to them finish up the song.

“That’s the Shehecheyanu, bubbeleh. We're singing it to welcome a little miracle into the world.”

“You can sleep,” her husband murmurs, once he and Wayne fall silent, “We’ve got E, and I can tell you’re exhausted, baby.” 

“Don’t wanna miss time with the baby,” she slurs. She’s not sure how much of what she says makes sense, but Eddie just kisses the bridge of her nose and starts rubbing her back. 

“S’cheating,” she mumbles, but she’s already falling asleep. Wayne is talking to the baby again, and Nancy just can’t stay awake anymore.

“I’m so proud of you,” she hears Eddie murmur as she drifts into sleep, “And I love you so much.” 

[l0ve-is-an-ech0]

Most moving lines in each Enneagram Song:

One: "Ive spent my whole life searching desperately to find out grace requires nothing of me" is of course a tearjerker but "as if I could earn God's favor given time or at least congratulations" gets me too. I guess I too am desperate for approval and I'd do anything to get it, so mood.

Two: "And maybe I'll get around fixing myself too" and that AFTER the fact that "You know I'll take my heart clean apart if it helps yours beat". Is in the same song?! HOW IS THAT ALLOWED???

Three: "leave my greatest failures on display with an asterisk 'worthy of love anyway'" CRIES. The whole song is so damn sad and honest but dammit three ATE the conclusion line up out of all the songs.

Four: Four is really so galaxy brained and stuffed with metaphors and I haven't even dissected all of them yet but "Maybe I'm hiding behind metaphors maybe my heart needs to break to be sure" is very interesting, because I think it means a 4 hides behind their own artistic mask as protection and maybe they need to drop this mask for once to find out what they've been looking for even if it means getting hurt in the process. This whole song needs a 10 page poetry analysis. The word "Glorious" by itself is also sung so softly in this song in makes me cry.

Five: The songs lyrics aren't deeply vulnerable and I feel that's just the style of a five expressing their feelings. But "My Armour falls apart, as if I could let myself be seen, even deeply known. As if I was already brave enough to let go." Is still a favorite of mine. The music is also so pretty and stunning and that makes me tear up sometimes.

Six: "Is it courage or faith to show up everyday?" Hits me so hard in particular because each day always has me so worried about what could go wrong that I'd rather curl up in a blanket but I still get the energy to go through with it. "What would it feel like to put this baggage down? If I'm being honest I'm not sure I'd know how" also speaks to my soul.

Seven: Gosh the song is so vulnerable and sincere yet so optimistic about it. It's the heartfelt melody and soundesign (like the cheers and claps) that make me tear up the most but lines like "a secret handshake between me and my own life" or "I want to be here. Truly be here. To watch the ones I love bloom." also really wreck me. Sevens think in a way I could never think and they do it so easily and naturally and that's what gets me.

Eight: It's no secret by now that eight is my favorite. There's so many lines that really break my heart: "When I see fragile things. Helpless things. Broken things. I see the familiar." Or "I CANT afford to let myself be blindsided." Or "I'm just a kid who grew up scared enough to hold the door shut and bury my innocence." DUDE. The instrumentation of this song also really gets me. It's so dynamic, raw and emotional.

Nine: "wake up, fall in love AGAIN" or "wage war on gravity theres so much worth fighting for youll see" or "How do I forgive myself for losing so much time?". It's like the experience of wanting to stop existing and start living. This song, after having listened to the album in full has be sobbing into my pillow sometimes.

[seita]

— haikyuu squirting.

includes: oikawa, iwaizumi, matsukawa, hanamaki, kunimi, + kyoutani.

p a r t o n e ;;

⤿ next: t w o

-ˋˏ aoba johsai ˎˊ-

— tooru oikawa.

≻ he has a goal to make you squirt ≻ he thinks it’s super hot and wants you to do it ≻ he honestly will experiment with it every time you have sex ≻ you won’t notice anything different ≻ but one day, he hits this spot inside you ≻ and you just explode and he’s elated ≻ and you’re like ??? ≻ he’s just like “ive been trying to make you do that for a week!!!” ≻ and then he continues on because he wants to bask in the fruits of his labors and make you squirt until you cry~

+

“c’mon baby,” he groans, working his fingers into your spasming cunt. you’re so tight, squeezing him like craze because you’re so close. and he knows your body’s signals like the back of his hand.

“fuck, tooru!” you sob, gripping his wrist with both hands as his fingers fuck your tender g-spot. his jaw as clenched as he watches you. he’s waiting, he can taste it on the tip of his tongue.

your whole body is tense and you’re trembling. your orgasm is so close, it’s dangling right over your head. the coil is taut and it’s growing painful. he continues to fuck his fingers into that sweet little spot that has you sobbing.

you look so beautiful like this, brows drawn together and mouth hanging open as your mind tries to comprehend the overwhelming pleasure he’s bringing you to. he finally brings his thumb to your clit, circling the bud in a few, slow strokes that finally send you flying over the edge.

you scream, thrashing against the bed as he continues to fuck you with his fingers. he nearly cums in his pants when you gush, your cum spraying all over him. he licks his lips, tasting your stray cum on his tongue as he does so. it makes his eyes roll back in his head.

and it isn’t long before you’re forcing his hand away from you, leaving you a trembling, panting mess on his bed.

“what...the fuck, tooru?” you gasp. he only grins in response.

— hajime iwaizumi.

≻ you’ll most likely be the one to bring it up to him ≻ he doesn’t actually quite know much about squirting ≻ he knows that it’s a thing ≻ but he doesn’t think it’s like...doable in real life ≻ he’s just like “oh yeah lmao that just exists in porn” ≻ so when you’re like can u do this-- ≻ he’s like huh? ≻ but he’s 4000% down and will give it his best shot ≻ it’ll take some trial and error ≻ because he has to learn the proper mechanics and angles to make it happen ≻ but when it does, he’s immediately addicted

+

you’re riding him, relishing in his praise as he caresses your pretty body.

“show me how you need it, pretty girl,” he whispers, “you’re gonna make a mess for me tonight, aren’t you?”

you desperately nod, nails digging into his forearms as you bounce. he groans, feeling you drip down his balls. he’s sure there’s a mess beneath him but he can’t be bothered to worry about it now because you’re clenching desperately around him.

“right there, daddy!” you cry, “right there, please! you’re go-gonna make me cum!”

he growls and flips you over, pinning your knees to your chest as he desperately fucks your cunt. you’re creaming so prettily around him that it’s driving him insane.

“play with your clit for me, princess,” he orders, following your hand as you find the bud and eagerly begin circling it.

he angles his thrusts for your g-spot, knowing that’ll be what sends you over. and it works like a charm. soon enough, you’re arching as you find release.

he doesn’t stop like he usually does, he replaces his fingers on your clit and continues to fuck into your spasming little cunt. just like he wanted, you begin gushing. you squirm, unable to escape his hold as he continues to fuck you until you’re made a complete mess for him.

— issei matsukawa.

≻ it’s completely accidental ≻ his dick is honestly just too fucking big ≻ that when you cum it’s explosive ≻ you always cum super hard for him when you’re stuffed full of his cock ≻ he honestly ADORES that you have such a fierce reaction to him ≻ it boosts his ego ≻ especially if you praise him while he makes you gush everywhere~

+

“you’re making such a slutty face,” he grins, watching as you arch your hips for more. he’s fucking you so well and it makes you lose your mind.

“i’m getting close,” you warn, making him arch a brow.

“i’ve only just started,” he teases, enjoying the look of humiliation that crosses your face at his words, “tell me you’re a whore for my cock and maybe i’ll let you cum.”

you break immediately, “i’m a whore for your cock, issei!” you cry, making him grin, “please, please only you can make me feel like this. only you can make me cum like this!”

“what a good little bitch i have,” he chuckles, speeding up his pace.

you can’t even take all of his cock but you continue to work your hips as if you could if you try hard enough. your eyes roll back in your head and you plead with him in babbled whimpers that absolutely drive him wild. he knows you’re dangling on the edge but you’re holding back because you’re his good girl. and he’s so proud of you so he decides to reward you.

“go on then, pretty girl,” he groans, “cream on my cock like a good little girl.”

except when you cum, it’s not like any of your previous orgasms. it’s wetter. and the more he fucks you, the wetter it gets until you’re absolutely gushing around him. after a few seconds, you push him away. when his cock pops out of your cunt, and you immediately squeal as you squirt all over him.

you’re still trembling by the time he works his cock back into your cunt. he grins, “did that feel good, pretty girl?” to which you nod, “good because you’re going to do that again and again until i’m satisfied.”

— takahiro hanamaki.

≻ he knows what it is and how to do it ≻ but he never actually executes it ≻ mostly because of the mess ≻ he’s not a huge fan of messes ≻ but if it’s something you want him to do ≻ it needs to be discusses before your um...session ≻ so that way he can put a towel down to minimize the mess ≻ he’s always pleased with the way you tremble and react so beautifully. ≻ he still doesn’t do it too often tho

+

the towel was growing wetter the longer he fucked you with his fingers. his spit, lube, and your own natural arousal only serving to make a complete mess. he was going slow, it was an agonizing place. switching between forceful thrusts against your g-spot and simply grinding the tips of his two fingers against it; it was only serving to drive you mad.

tears had long since started falling down your cheeks. he thought you looked prettiest like that; eyes red and pitiful little sniffles coming from you as you cried for more.

he knew what you wanted, what you needed. but he was content with torturing you. you were so cute when you were distraught and he couldn’t help but send you a boyish smile that made your face crumple in frustration. it was so easy to rile you up.

“want me to make you ucm now, sweet girl?” he coos, pulling his fingers from your cunt to playfully smack your neglected clit.

your thighs jump at the stimulation before nodding desperately. it didn’t take long for the desperate pleas that he had been waiting for to begin falling from your lips, “please daddy, please. i’ll do anything just please make me cum!”

he grins, “such pretty words,” he coos, nodding his head, “anything?”

“anything daddy please!” you cry and he groans in response.

“then make a mess for me, baby,” he orders, finally fucking your tight cunt the way you need to fall over the edge.

and you do so beautifully, gushing and squirting all over him. he groans at the sight of finally getting what he wanted. you tremble and sob just for him and he never wants to forget the sight of you falling apart perfectly for him all because of his fingers.

— kentaro kyoutani.

≻ he actually brings it up to you!!! ≻ but he knows that it’s a thing ≻ he just doesn’t know if it’s something you want to experiment with or not ≻ and he’s not willing to just do it and surprise you ≻ when you agree ≻ he goes feral ≻ he absolutely loves making a complete mess out of you ≻ he already does it well enough on his own ≻ but NOW there’s an actual...mess to clean up.

+

your face is buried in the pillow, muffling your sobs and cries of pleasure. his hand is pressed on the small of your back, making sure you’re presented just right for him.

he’s quiet as usual, short grunts and the occasional filth falling from his lips so perfectly, “so tight, you’re dripping.”

“only for you,” you promise breathlessly, making him grin. if you had seen it, you’d see the sadistic pleasure in it.

“that’s right, babygirl,” he groans when you clench around his cock at the sound of the petname.

you were so easy to read and so easy to satisfy. it drove him crazy. leaning over your body, he fisted your hair to keep you pinned as he began to piston into your pretty cunt, tearing cries of untold pleasure into the pillow.

he’s able to make out the warning for your impending orgasm and reaches beneath your body to find your clit. he slaps his fingers harshly against the bud. it’s the final action that sends you over the edge.

your body lurches forward, forcing his cock from your clamping cunt. he groans when he looks down to see you squirting everywhere. he rubs across your clit quickly, splattering your cum everywhere until you’re sobbing for him to stop.

“you’re such a sloppy little bitch,” he growls, forcing his cock back into your sensitive cunt.

— akira kunimi.

≻ another one who doesn’t try ≻ but it’s mostly out of laziness ≻ if you squirt, it’s gonna be 99% you 1% him ≻ he digs it tho ≻ he’ll make sure you know that he finds it really hot that you got yourself so worked up over his cock that you couldn’t help but make a mess!!

+

you’re bracing yourself on his shoulders as he holds your hips tightly. soft moans and cries of his name escape your lips as you ride him, his cock filling you up so perfectly while he doesn’t do anything. he lets you do as you please, merely helping you keep your balance along with occasionally cupping your pretty tits that bounce perfectly in his face.

“i’m gonna cum,” you gasp suddenly, shoving a hand between your thighs to circle your clit.

he nods, a lazy smile crossing his face, “yeah, baby, play with that pretty clit and cum for me.”

you whine, your head falling back as you sob through your pleasure. it comes in waves, making you tremble and cling to him as your high washes over you.

he curses, suddenly pounding into you from beneath you. you squeal, clawing at his shoulders as you gush around him, making a complete mess over his cock and abdomen.

he laughs as he falls limp, staring at the dripping cum you left all over him, “is my cock that good that you just make a huge fuckin’ mess? hm? i didn’t even have to do anything,” suddenly, he slaps your thigh, “keep riding me, want you to do that again.”

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

© all content belongs to seita 2020. do not modify or repost.

[angstysebfan]

The Past Can Break You - 2

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

AU: Avengers

Summary: You and Bucky have been dating for aa few years. As far as you’re concerned he is the one. But what happens when a blast from the actual past shows up?

A/N: Ive seen a lot stories of Bucky getting his first love from the 40′s back. And I’ve always wondered... what would happen if he was dating someone already? Reader is from this time. Not proofread.

Warning: Smut 18+ only please

--

When Bucky made it up to your shared room he slowly and silently opened the door. You were sitting on your bed, your back facing the door, but he could tell you were crying by the shaking of your shoulders. It broke his heart to see you so upset.

He closed the door behind him and walked over to sit next to you. He wrapped his metal arm around your waist and pulled you into his embrace. You then openly sobbed into his chest. Bucky caressed your back and kissed you on the head, allowing you to cry.

When you started to calm down you sighed deeply, sniffed, and said, “Are you going to break up with me now?”

Bucky’s heart completely broke. He put his finger under your chin, forcing you to look at him. “No, baby. Of course not. I love you. I love you so much! Why would you think that?” He asks.

“Because before we started dating you told me about Dot and how much she meant to you. You were going to propose when you got home from the war. Well here is your chance to live the life you wanted with the girl you wanted,” you say as tears again start to leak from your eyes.

“Baby, I’m not the same man I was then. Yes, I still have love for Dot, but I’m so madly in love with you. I promise,” he said, kissing your forehead, nose, and then lips.

“I’m going to help Dot become acclimated to the world now, and help her settle. But I promise I will always be here for you, ok?” He asks.

You nod, feeling slightly better. “I love you,” you say.

“I love you too. I’ve gotta get down to the lab. I promised Dot I would be down there with her. But I won’t be long,” he says before kissing you again and then leaving.

You sit and wait for him, hoping it wouldn’t take too long. But after 4 hours you give up on him and go to sleep. You hope that he will keep his word on still loving you. You don’t want to lose him. You love him too much.

- -

1 month later

Over the last several weeks, you’ve only seen Bucky’s about a handful of times. He’s always off with Dot, helping her learn the ways of today, and helping her deal with her “trauma”. Every time he tries to give you a little time she always calls for him saying how upset she is or that she’s about to have a panic attack. You try and be understanding but at the same time it’s really starting to annoy you.

One of the worst things is that he barely even sleeps with you anymore. This morning you woke up to an empty bed, yet again, and head downstairs for breakfast. When you got down to the common room you heard the sound of Dot’s giggles and saw her sitting on the couch with Bucky, her feet on his lap. At that point you lost your appetite, so you went up to the roof instead.

After an hour you hear the door to the roof open as you’re staring off into the distance. You feel arms wrapped around your waist as a stubble chin rest on your shoulder. You decide to ignore him and continue staring off into the distance and several thoughts past of your mind.

“Was looking for you,” Bucky said as he kissed your shoulder. “Why you up here all alone?”

You sigh, “well I’m used to being alone a lot these days. And I guess I didn’t feel like sitting there watching you and Dot flirt in the common room,“ you say annoyed.

You hear him sigh behind you as he puts his forehead on your shoulder. “I know, and I’m so sorry that I haven’t been around much. I’m just trying to do my best to help her,” He said.

“I promise I’ll try and do better at managing my time so that I can spend more time with my girl,“ he says as he kisses the back of your head and trails kisses all the way down to your neck.

He turns you around in his arms and rests his forehead on yours. Before you know it you are both swaying to no music, until Bucky starts singing your song. You wrap your arms around his neck as you both slow dance to your song as Bucky sings. When he finishes you kiss him passionately.

“Tonight we will have date night. No Dot, no interruptions, just you, me, and that new lingerie you bought a few weeks ago,” he says as he continues to sway you.

You smile widely at the thought of spending a night alone with your boyfriend. “Oh Bucky, that sounds amazing! I’ve missed you so much, and I get what your doing, but it’s hard,” you say.

“I know. I’ve been neglecting you and it ends now. You are my priority, not Dot. And I’m sorry. Let me make it up to you. Tonight,” he says.

You kiss him in reply.

- -

Later that night, after dinner and another bout of dancing, you come out of the bathroom with your new lingerie set. You stand in the doorway staring at your half naked boyfriend. Bucky’s eyes darken with lust as he starts to stalk towards you like a lion about to pounce.

“You look good enough to eat, baby,” he says huskily. He then pulls you into his arms with a searing kiss.

He leads you to the bed and throws you on it, before jumping on top, connecting your lips again. His hand travels down to your core and he moves your panties to the side, putting pressure on your clit. He starts rubbing at an intensely fast pace, making you lose your breath. Very quickly he pulls your first orgasm from you.

Before you come back to earth you feel your new panties being ripped from you, as well as the bra. Bucky loved to rip your underwear all the time. He kissed his way down your stomach to your wet core and dove in. Your back arched off the bed.

“Oh my god, Bucky!” You moaned as your hand pulled his hair.

He then stuck two metal fingers into you and started pumping. You knew it wouldn’t be long now. You couldn’t stand the amazing sensation of his fingers and tongue. You started to feel the build up of pressure in your belly.

“Bucky! I’m going to cum,” you cry as you again orgasm on his face.

After a moment Bucky kisses his way back up your lips. You taste yourself on his tongue, which makes you wetter, if that’s possible. “You are the best thing I have ever tasted, Doll. Truly exquisite,” he says.

He then pulls off his pants and boxers before lining up with you. He slowly starts to push in, which feels amazing. After a moment he completely bottoms out in you. He kissed you, and just as he is about to thrust, you are both interrupted by FRIDAY.

“Sergeant Barnes, Ms. Jones is requesting to see you sir,” she says.

Bucky groans into your neck, “Tell her I’m busy and we’ll talk in the morning,” he says.

“I’m sorry sir, but she appears to be having a panic attack and having trouble breathing,” FRIDAY says.

“Shit,” Bucky says as he pulls out of you and grabs his sweats. He looks at you guiltily, “I’m sorry. I’ll be back in 10 minutes tops, and then we can finish what we started,” he says before running out the door.

You stare at the door as it closes in shock. He just left you in the middle of sex for his ex. What the hell! You lay there and wait, but after 2 hours you decide to get dressed in sweats and a t-shirt. You take your ruined lingerie and throw it out. You lay back on your bed thinking about how you will have a stern discussion when he comes back.

Before you know it, another 2 hours go by and it’s the middle of the night. You’re more than angry, now you are hurt. You grab your pillow and your blanket and leave your shared room with Bucky, and head to your old room. After locking the door, you inform FRIDAY not to let anyone, especially Bucky in. You climb into bed and allow a few tears before falling asleep.

- -

Bucky woke up the next morning disoriented. When he realized he was still in Dot’s room he panicked. After he finally got Dot to calm down last night he went to leave but Dot begged him to stay until she fell asleep. He must have dozed off too. He quickly got out of the bed and quietly exited the room.

Steve was coming down the hall and saw Bucky’s coming out of Dot’s room. “ why are you in Dot‘s room?” Steve asked.

“She had a panic attack last night and I came to calm her down and fell asleep. Y/N is going to be so pissed at me,” Bucky said.

“Wasn’t last night date night?” Steve asked.

Bucky nodded, “Yea and Dot interrupted right in the middle of sex. I left Y/N there naked on the bed like a jackass,” Bucky said angrily.

“You left her in the middle of sex to deal for your ex!? Why didn’t you ask me to deal with it?” Steve yelled.

“I don’t know. Dot says she only feel comfortable with me. I’m just trying to help her. But I’m going to lose my girl in the process. I’ll talk to Dot later about it, but things have to change. I can’t keep ignoring my girl,” Bucky said.

Steve nodded, “Yeah, we’ll good luck with talking to her after last night,” he said before slapping Bucky’s shoulder and leaving.

Bucky sighed and went to your shared room, only to see that you weren’t there. He checked the kitchen, common room, roof, gym, and lab but couldn’t find you. The last place he went was to your old bedroom. He found the door locked, which told him he found you.

“FRIDAY, can you please open the door?” He asked the AI.

“I’m sorry Sergeant Barnes. But I was requested by Agent Y/L/N to not let anyone, especially you in,” FRIDAY said.

Bucky’s heart dropped. He really messed up.

- -

Chapter 1 / Chapter 3

A lot happening in this chapter. Bucky being stupid, but at least he is aware. Now can he fix it? will the reader let him? And what else will Dot do? Feedback is appreciated!

Permanent Taglist:  @hailmary-yramliah @tuiccim @comedictragedy @cap-n-stuff @thefridgeismybestie @swiftmind @aleaisntcreative @lookiamtrying @pinknerdpanda @morganclaire4 @iamvalentinaconstanza @verygraphicink @im-squished @joannie95 @peace-love-hobbitness @connie326 @amandamdiehl @harrysthiccthighss @its-izzys @roserose26 @rebekahdawkins @elegantobservationstudentsblog @broco8 @shinykoalacat @white-wolf1940 @jessyballet

Story Taglist: @afuckingshituniverse @wintrfld 

[mylovley]

Honey cake

707 x reader

WARNING: mentions of ed, angsty/afterfluff, hurt

If you havent played 707s route in mystic messenger this might be confusing. But basicly this is when he ends up coming to your house to protect you but treats you like shit. (unlike my bakugou fanfic this one turns out good lol)

ENJOY<3333

Its been two days since seven came over to your house. He wont speak to you and if he does its being rude to you somehow. It hurt.

He was being so cold, and no matter what you did to make him look at you or even smile for once it never worked.

You just smiled it off, trying to be positive for him but in reality, it really hurt you.

You began to stop eating, the feelings of neglect from someone whom you really like swelling into something deeper. You felt horrible. You just wanted him to love you like you loved him.

So, you had gotten what you thought was the best idea ever. You would make him a honey cake, to represent his favorite honey budda chips.

After hours in the kitchen, you had finally gotten the cake ready, as you put a honey drissle over the top of the cake all you could think about was his eyes that resembled the honey. you step back and observe your handy work. "hmm, it needs something" you think when you get an idea "Honey budda chips!" you excitedly say as you quickly wright it down on your notepad, as you scatter over to the room seven is in.

"hey seven!" you say smiling

"what." he replys coldly

"Um, I was wondering if I could borrow like a handfull of honey budda chips?"

he rolls his eyes "Get your own damn chips"

You swallow the slight hurt down "um well, please?"

"cant you just leave me alone?!" he snaps, looking up at you with venom in his honey eyes.

"I-I was just trying to-"

"Cant you just stop being annoying for once Y/N?!"

"i-im sorry.." you say rushing out of the room looking down, heading for your room.

you lay in your bed and break down, crying into your pillow so that seven wouldnt hear. curled up in a ball, you sob the rest of the night.

SEVENS POV

Seven walks into the kitchen to make a sandwich, when he notices the big honey cake sitting neatly on the counter. Confused, he walks towards it noticing the piles of dirty dishes now in the sink. Beside the cake there is a checklist of sorts

Cake for Seven~!

--Vanila cake mixed with honey

--Honey drizzle on top

--honey budda chips

Seeing the honey budda chips yet to be crossed out, he realizes what hes done.

YOUR POV

you hear a soft knock on the door, opening your eyes you quickly shoot up, rubbing your eyes of any evidence of tears.

"c-come in!" you shout as seven walks in closing the door behind him

you sit in awkward silece for a moment when seven walks over to you hugging you, rubbing small circles in your back.

"s-seven whats wrong?" you say with concern

" im sorry y/n. I didnt mean to yell at you."

"its okay, i know your stressed." you say, slightly muffled by his shoulder

"no, its not okay. Ive noticed how bad ive been affecting you."

you stay silent rubbing his back, inhaling his sent

"I noticed how youve stopped eating. Was that because of me?

You dont respond

"I thought so. y/n im-" you interupt him with a soft kiss. His eyes widen but close as his face softens and accepts the kiss.

when you release him you give him a small kiss on the nose, cheek, and chawline. "I know" you whisper, looking up at him while cradling his face.

you both smile in eachothers presence " thank you for the cake. it looks really good" he says with a goofy smile, cheeks squished by your hands. "why dont we eat it together."

you smile, letting go of him. "that would be great"

short and sweet ig lol i dont have energy to make epic fics so im sorry if these arent good enough

[evie-sturns]

𝐑𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐱 - 𝐌𝐚𝐭𝐭 𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐨𝐥𝐨

summary: matt's been showing you less attention recently, all your emotions hit you at once while your alone in your apartment, but matt shows up.

contains: fluff (a lot), smut (matt the munch), crying, swearing.

-----------------------°°••....••°°----------------———-

it's been 2 days since matt's reached out, he hasn't texted, called, not a single word from him. 2 days isn't that long, but he's been distant lately.

i'm laying alone in my bed, the house is empty and obnoxiously silent. whenever i'm alone my emotions get the best of me, i hate crying in front of people.

i roll over, my eyes flick up to the time, 11:47pm. i let out a deep sigh as i see an Instagram notification appear.

'matthew.sturniolo made a post'

i click on it, liking it as i scroll through the mutiple pictures, its him ,nick, and this other girl ive never seen before. my heart sinks as i see his hand, which seems to be holding her hip.

"what the fuck.." i groan, wiping my eyes, everything makes alot more sense now.

everything hits at once, i feel the tears start, after a few seconds it turns into sobbing, my mascara streaking down my face.

abrubtly the door to my room creaks open, i slam my phone down, launching my body up.

its matt.

i instantly lie back down, rolling my body over so my back faces the door. "hey y/n!!" he says, unaware.

he turns on the light, i pull my blanket up over my head, holding my breath as i try to slow the tears, it doesnt work, instead a loud sob escapes my mouth.

i hear matt pause before he speed walks over to my side of the bed, he pulls the blankets off of my face, im met with his face, worry painted across his face.

"oh fuck, are you okay sweetheart?" he says, cupping my face with his hands as he leans over me bed.

"go away matt." i say in between crys.

he places a kiss to my forehead before walking over to the other side of my bed, crawling in next to me.

"matt i said go away-" i say, raising my voice but he cuts me off.

"shh.. i know i know" he says, wrapping a hand arounds my waist and tugging me close to him. "talk to me please." he says, anxiety clear in his voice.

i cuddle close to his side, laying my head under his armpit as i drape a thigh over his. he rubs my arm as he waits for me to answer.

"you havent.. talked to me.. in 2 days." i say in between sobs. i feel matt tense under me, "i know, youve been on my mind the whole time but ive been unbearably busy, you know i love you gorgeous." he says shakily,

"don't lie matt!" i raise my voice.

"y/n, stop it please." he says, his voice stern.

"no!" i yell, matt holds me close to him as i try to move away from him. his grip firm, but not painful on me.

"you were holding her!" i shout, matt's eyebrows furrow.

"y/n, who. who was i holding."

"that girl in your post." i mumble with a deep sigh.

"who, cassie? that's nates little sister, you know Nathan." matt closes his eyes as he plants a kiss in my hair.

i go silent, feeling slightly humiliated. "oh." i say, my voice breaking.

"can i show you how much i love you." he whispers, playing with my bra strap. i nod as matt pulls my blanket off me.

when matt and i usually hook up, we both put in equal effort, but matts made it very clear he doesnt want me to do anything.

"get comfortable," he says, slowly pulling down my sweat shorts until they bunch at my ankles. he taps my hip, signalling for me to lift it up, i comply, raising my torso off the bed. matt places a pillow under my lower back.

"you ready?" he asks softly, maintaining eye contact. "y-yes.. please."

matt spreads my legs, positioning his head between my legs, he places gentle kisses on my inner thighs, getting closer to my heat each time, i feel goosebumps form on my body as he places a light kiss on my clit, which is covered by my panties.

he reaches his palm to my legs, spreading them further. "good girl," he says, his breath hitting my inner thighs. he reaches his two finger up, pulling my panties to the side. he blows out cold air directly onto my clit.

a soft moan escapes my mouth.

he licks a stripe from my hole to my clit, i move my body into his mouth, desperate for more, his noses brushing against my pelvic bone. he grabs my hip with his spare hand, reaching two fingers down and teasing me.

"please!" i whine, squirm slightly, he grips onto my hip tighter before pressing two fingers inside of me. "oh my fuck.." i groan as he slowly pumps his fingers in and out of me.

i throw my head back, reaching my hand down and interlocking my hands with his hair. his mouth attaches to my clit, a desperate moan exiting my mouth as he continues to curl his fingers inside of me.

"im gonna c-" i whine, gripping his hair tighter, i clench around his fingers, releasing. matt slowly pulls his fingers out of me as he raises his head up, looking at me. his cheeks are flushed, a small amount of white painted on his cheek.

he places on last peck on my sensitive clit, before wiping his face. "you okay?" he asks, his voice barely audible as i catch my breath. "yeah.." i mumble, "thank you matt".

matt gets out of bed, walking over to my side of the bed and picking me up, cradling me as he walks us into his bathroom. "you're perfect ya know?" matt says, turning on the bath. after a few minutes he places me down in the tub, his hand on the back of my head so i don't hit my head.

he sits on the edge of the bath, still trying to wipe his face clean.

"im sorry matt."

"what no, its fine i like it?" he says defensivley.

"no, im not talking about the mess i made on your face, im sorry for yelling at you earlier."

——-----------------°°••....••°°---------------------——

[dreamwritesimagines]

Twisted 28 - Sunlight [Spencer Reid x Reader]

A.N.: Thank you so much for your wonderful support my loves! Here’s the next chapter, I hope you will like it as well, and please let me know what you think of it! ❤❤ Ily, kisses! ❤❤❤

Series Masterlist

Warnings: Murder, serial killers, violence, manipulation, mentions of sex, drinking, smoking, hospitals, medicine.

Word Count: 4400

Summary: Survival makes people stronger.

Everyone’s voices were so muffled that for a moment it felt as if you were under water. It came and went just like the warmth, just like the comfort—

One moment there, the other moment far away, and anytime you tried to reach through that haze, you were pushed back into the numbness.

You could swear at some point your father was there too. You were still at the cabin, in that dress, sitting across from him by the chessboard, and then back at the weekend house where your sister was chasing you around the piano, your mother calling out for you to stop running, then someone pushing you into the lake by the cabin before it changed again and your father handed you a knife.

If this is hell, I’d like to talk to the manager.

But eventually, it all came back to you. There was this heaviness on your hand, your chest and ribs hurt terribly and your forehead kept stinging as you tried to open your eyes to meet the bright lights of the hospital room.

Ah. You weren’t in the woods anymore.

You had made it after all.

The constant beeping of the machine caught your attention for a moment before you looked down to see Spencer’s head resting on your hand, his fingers entwined with yours. Your mother was by the couch, her eyes fixed on the ceiling with a crumpled tissue in her hand and Mina was resting her head on her shoulder.

“Mom?” you rasped out and your mother’s eyes whipped to yours, Mina sat up and Spencer’s head shot up.

“Oh thank God!” your mother jumped out of her seat to come to your beside and pressed a kiss on top of your head, making you wince. “Oh thank God you’re okay…”

“Hey,” Mina wiped at her eyes and cleared her throat, “Welcome back brat.”

You smiled and turned to Spencer who was still holding your hand tight, watching you with bloodshot eyes.

“I know,” you said, “No eyeliner right?”

A small sob mixed with laughter rose from his throat and he pressed your hand to his lips, swallowing thickly.

“Hi.”

“Hey professor,” you tried to smile but you were in too much pain to do so, “Is there like…a morphine button or-?”

“I’ll go get the doctor,” Mina rushed out of the room and closed the door behind her, and your mother pulled back.

“How do you feel honey?”

“Like I crawled out of hell,” you said, “Is- is everyone okay?”

“Everyone is fine.”

“Where’s Lily?”

“With Kenzie and Nolan, outside.”

You let out a breath and turned to Spencer.

“You figured it out?” you asked, “The note?”

“Ophelia, yeah,” he sniffled and nodded fervently, “Cabin by the lake, we were on our way there when—” he stopped talking as if remembering it was way too heavy on him and you squeezed his hand.

“How did I….” you looked between them, “Survive? Erica shot me.”

“The helicopter,” your mother said, “We sent it with a medic and a sniper just in case.”

“You sent a helicopter with a medic and a sniper?” you repeated, “Mom, that sounds like a joke.”

“Well I’m glad you find it funny,” your mother wiped at her eyes again, “Because you’re grounded for the rest of your life.”

“Okay,” you shot a look at Spencer, “Ignore this.”

“No, not even your boyfriend can help you right now.”

“They still like you, no worries,” you explained and he shook his head slightly, reaching out to touch your cheek as if trying to prove to himself that you were real.

“I thought—“ he started and blinked back the tears, gritting his teeth and you rubbed your thumb over his hand.

“I’m fine,” you said and lifted your head when the thought hit you, “Wait what happened to Lincoln?”

A shadow crossed Spencer’s eyes and your mother flexed her fingers as if she wanted to throttle someone upon hearing his name.

“That monster is currently handcuffed to a hospital bed,” she said, “But not to worry, we put ten guards in front of his door, and I will make sure to ruin his life myself.”

“He survived?”

“Barely,” Spencer said through his teeth but before he could say anything else, the door opened and a doctor stepped in. Even you could hear Lily’s very loud protests, Kenzie trying to shush her and you smiled slightly before turning to the doctor who was checking the file in her hand.

“Hello Y/N,” she said cheerfully “Nice to see you awake, for a moment you had me worried we wouldn’t get to meet. So, we have head trauma, a bullet wound, broken ribs and blood loss. Were you trying to fill out a bingo of dangerous injuries or…?”

“Go big or go home doc,” you nodded and she raised her brows.

“Should I put in a psychiatric evaluation in here as well then?”

“Yes please,” your mother pinched the bridge of her nose and you heaved a sigh, making a face.

“Pain?”

“A lot.”

“Let’s see what we can do about that,” she said and Spencer stood up.

“Can I see her chart please?” he asked and she took almost taken aback before showing him the chart.

“I’d like to change these two meds,” Spencer said and started listing off his suggestions while you watched him with a smile on your face.

“Spencer,” you said, “Please let the nice and smart lady do her job.”

The doctor grinned at you, “That’s alright. Is there anything you would like to ask me?”

“Two questions. One, when can I go home?”

“We’d like to keep you under observation for a couple of days, depending on how fast your body shows progress to heal.”

“Okay. Can I smoke here?”

“Oh Jesus Christ,” your mother threw her head back, Spencer just stared at you and the doctor blinked a couple of times.

“Since this job taught me never to take any question as hypothetical,” she said, “I’m just going to answer it. No, under absolutely no circumstances are you allowed to smoke here.”

You curled your lips, “It was worth a try.”

“We’ll give you some really good painkillers, don’t worry,” she winked, “I’ll let the rest of your family in and see you later.”  

She walked to the door and opened it, and soon enough Lily rushed inside but as soon as she leaped at you, Kenzie caught her mid-air like a troublesome cat.

“No, what did I say outside?”

“But mama—“

“It’s okay Kenz. Hi bug.”

Kenzie gave you a teary eyed smile and slowly set Lily down, and she hugged her teddy bear before taking a step towards you, nibbling on her lip.

“Does it hurt?” she pointed at the stitches on your forehead and you tilted your head.

“Just a little, sweetie.”

She carefully put the teddy bear beside your bed and grinned at you.

“Mr. Chocolate Chip Cookie will be your friend here,” she patted the teddy bear’s head and you let out a small laugh.

“I really appreciate it bug, thank you,” you said and held the teddy bear in your lap before you turned to Nolan. “Hey man, thanks for the helicopter.”

“Thanks for the almost heart attack,” he replied and fixed his bowtie, “You keep me young with all this panic and adrenaline. Honestly Y/N, never do that to us again, please.”

“I’ll try my best not to get kidnapped by a maniac again,” you stated, “Besides, mom already grounded me so…”

“Good! No jet for you for a while young lady.”

A nurse came in to inject the painkiller into your IV, and you smiled at the sight of your family fondly, then cleared your throat.

“Hey, not that I didn’t miss you guys,” you said, “But um…can I talk to Spencer for a moment?”

Kenzie and Mina exchanged looks and Kenzie lifted Lily up.

“We’ll be right outside,” she said and walked to the door. One by one they left the room and your jaw dropped when you saw Mina squeezing Spencer’s shoulder before she left as well.

“Well, something changed,” you commented and Spencer came to pull a chair next to the bed before he reached out to hold your hand.

“She was the first one to talk to me when we landed,” his voice still didn’t sound so strong and you frowned.

“What did she say?”

“Go there and bring my sister back.” Spencer said and ran a hand over his eyes, “Based on the profile, I thought he’d already—“ he couldn’t even finish that sentence before he kissed the back of your hand, “I thought I lost you.”

“Nah, cigarettes will kill me, not serial killers,” you reached out to push a curl out of his eyes, “I thought you knew that. All looks and no smarts, aren’t you?”

He scoffed a shaky laugh and you licked your lips.

“What happened there?” you asked, “I heard gunshots after Erica shot me, is she—“

“Dead,” Spencer nodded, “She was shot right there.”

You could feel the goosebumps on your skin, “And Lincoln?”

“I was going to kill him,” Spencer said, “If I got there first, I would’ve.”

“Spencer you don’t mean that.”

“I do,” he told you, a dangerous light gleaming in his eyes, “I do mean that.”

You heaved a sigh, now easier thanks to the painkillers, “Yeah well, I guess I know the feeling.”

“Um- the team is outside as well by the way,” he said, “Luke and Garcia has been here the whole night, and I’ve been instructed to tell you, word by word, no amount of pastries will excuse the worry you put them through.”

You grinned, the tired haze of sleep crashing on you, “Ouch, I’ll have to try harder I guess,” you said and yawned, making Spencer smile.

“Rest a little,” he said, “I’ll stay right here, okay?”

You nodded and leaned your head back to the pillows, then closed your eyes.

                                                 ***

You were given the permission to go home after a week because your mother insisted on keeping you there until she was convinced you wouldn’t drop dead all of a sudden. Surprisingly enough, she didn’t raise hell when you told her you would be staying at Spencer’s place for a while, and for once, Mina agreed with you.

You really needed to ask Spencer what had happened while you were gone, in detail.

It was strange, but your sleep was much less disturbed after you had returned from the hospital. When you were in hospital you had just assumed it was because of the meds they had given you, but now, sleeping with Spencer in his bed, there was still no sign of any nightmares.

With you, that was. Spencer was a completely different story.

You still had to be careful because of your ribs and the doctor had told you to be careful with how you slept, so the moment you moved a little in your sleep and felt the pain shooting through you, you made a face and reached for Spencer’s side of the bed only to meet an empty spot. You opened your eyes, and carefully sat up in bed, trying to hear whether there was any noise to signal he was coming back to bed but there was none, so you slipped out of the bed and walked to the living room.

Of course he was there. Cradling a cup with steam coming out of it in his hands, staring into the darkness as if he was lost in his own mind.

“Spencer?” you said softly and he turned his head, snapping out of his thoughts.

“Hey,” he said, trying to smile, “Why are you up?”

“I could ask you the same question,” you tilted your head before you went to sit beside him and he ran a hand through his curls.

“It’s not important.”

“Nightmares?” you asked and he nodded silently.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Maybe later,” he murmured, “How about you? Any pain? Do you need an ice bag?”

You shook your head, “Nah it’s fine,” you said, “It doesn’t hurt that terribly.”

“And your nightmares?”

You shrugged, “No nightmares. I mean—at least not like the earlier ones. Not where I’m turning into him.”

“Trauma works differently in everyone.”

“I don’t think it’s the trauma though,” you said, “I think it’s because…because I know now.”

He raised his brows, his whole attention on you, “What do you mean?”

“It’s not in me,” you said, “It’s just—it’s just not. I don’t think it ever was. My father killed people because it made him feel powerful. It wasn’t like that with me, back at the cabin. It was survival. For me and people I care about, that’s all. It doesn’t make me evil.”

That seemed to pull him out of his thoughts and he smiled.

“No it doesn’t,” he said, “You’ve never been evil. Even when he tried to turn you into that.”

Even your heart felt light, despite the pain in your ribs and your smile widened.

“I know he’s not dead but…”

“He’s locked away. Same difference from now on.”

You paused for a moment, “Speaking of,” you said, “I was thinking I could go and see him for the last time.”

He frowned, “Why?”

“I don’t know. I think it’ll help me put this whole thing behind me.”

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

“I want to see the look on his face when he realizes his small project failed,” you said, “Trust me. There’s no way he can get to me, not anymore.”

He rubbed his thumb over your hand and you leaned back to the back of the couch, still keeping your gaze on his handsome face.

“You don’t have to come with me,” you said, “If it’s too much.”

“It’s not that,” he rasped out, “Officially, I might not be allowed in.”

“Why not?”

“I’m leaving the BAU.”

You blinked a couple of times, gawking at him, then sat up straighter.

“What?”

“I can’t anymore,” he averted his glances from you to look into space, nibbling on his lip, “Y/N, I was out of the city when they called me to tell me you were missing, that you were most probably taken by the copycat. And for the whole time until I found you…” his voice cracked, “Lincoln’s profile, before we even knew that he was Lincoln, it all suggested that he…killed his victims without spending any time with them. I thought—“ he sniffled and cleared his throat, “I can’t do that anymore. Imagining you like all those victims…”

“Spencer, I’m fine.”

“But you weren’t,” he said, barely moving his lips, “Back there.”

Ah. The woods.

“That’s what your nightmare was about?” you asked and he heaved a shaky sigh.

“I couldn’t save you,” he said, “You died there, and I couldn’t do anything, I was too late—“

“Spencer,” you reached out to touch his cheek, “Hey, look at me.”

He turned his head so that his eyes would meet yours and you dragged your fingertips over the slight stubble on his cheek.

“You weren’t too late,” you told him, “And I didn’t die. Okay? I’m right here. Don’t leave the BAU because of me, do it only if you want to. I’ll be with you either way.”

He blinked back the tears and nodded. “I want to,” he whispered, “I can’t anymore, and I want- I want to be here. I’ll just…I’ll focus on teaching, and the team can consult me whenever they need to, but I need to be here.”

“And you’re sure about that? It’s not some…heat of the moment decision?”

“It’s not,” he said, “I’m positive.”

“Alright,” you smiled at him softly, “Okay then. I guess instead of talking about gruesome murders and copycats who were after me, we can be one of those boring, cliché couples who bicker about…I don’t know, dirty dishes in the sink, or how you forgot to put down the toilet seat or-“

“Your hair in the drain.”

“I’m going to pretend like you weren’t waiting for the opportunity to bring that up.”

He let out a teary laugh and wiped at his eyes before he pulled you closer and carefully wrapped his arms around you so as not to hurt your ribs, burying his face into the crook of your neck. You brushed your fingers through his curls, as if trying to prove to him that you were there, that you were alright.

“I love you so much,” the confession left his lips in a whisper and you could feel the burning behind your eyes as you raked your nails over the nape of his neck gently.

“I love you too,” you murmured, “God, you have no idea how much.”

                                                      ***

The BAU, upon your request, fixed a meeting with your father for the next week.

And throughout that week, everyone tried to convince you to change your mind. Your mother had made a whole scene during brunch, telling you that it was as if you liked torturing yourself, but you knew deep down that you had to talk to him for the last time.

Seeing your father after what felt like a life time, especially after everything that you had been through was strange at the very least. You didn’t have any goosebumps, you didn’t have that nervousness messing with your head, you didn’t feel like you were under the threat of being attacked any time, and most of all—

You didn’t feel like he was stronger than you. At all.

You lit a cigarette in the interrogation room, then flipped the cap of the lighter and turned your head when the door opened and your father walked in, chains dangling from his handcuffs wrapped around his ankles. He stared at you for a couple of seconds as if he didn’t expect to see you there and let out a breath.

“Petal…”

“You should sit down,” you said, exhaling the smoke and a guard helped him sit down across from you.

“We’re right outside, miss.”

“Thank you,” you said and watched as he straightened his back, his gaze focused on you.

“You look…” he trailed off and you raised your brows,

“Hm?”

“What did they do to you?”

“Ah I guess your outside source ending up dead gets you a bit behind on the news,” you said, “Erica is dead, Lincoln is never gonna see the sunlight again, and your whole project to turn me into your legacy with the help of them failed terribly.”

“I’d never allow them to harm you like this.”

You rolled your eyes, exhaling the smoke.

“But you fought your way out, didn’t you?” he asked you, “Looks like my training helped you after all. Even if you refuse to see that.”

“Did you seriously think I’d become like you?” you asked back, “Did you think Lincoln would manage to turn me into you?”

“Honey, Lincoln was going to be your companion at best, your first kill at worst.” he said and you clicked your tongue.

“Oh, that was your plan all along?”

“Some part of it, at least. I knew they wouldn’t be able to handle you, but I thought you could decide what to do with them. Could you kill Erica at least?”

“Didn’t get the chance.”

“You should have,” he said, “You would see, Petal.”

You twirled the cigarette between your fingers, staring at him for a couple of seconds.

“I keep thinking,” you mused, “You know what I said to Mina and Kenzie when they first told me they wanted to have a baby?”

He tilted his head, “Hm? What?”

“I asked them if they lost their minds.”

Your father pulled back slightly and you shrugged your shoulders.

“Because I mean… Kenzie’s parents are assholes, and there’s you,” you motioned at him, “Not that anyone else could take the cake on being a messed up parent when you’re in the picture.”

“I take offense to that.”

“I don’t care,” you said, “But then it hit me, back at the hospital. I was looking at this whole mess from the wrong perspective.”

“Which is?”

“They had a point,” you said, “Back then- before all this I mean, I thought when someone decided to have kids, their first priority was to be the perfect parent. That’s stupid, it’s impossible to be the perfect parent, our own parents mess us up in one way or another. But I get it now.”

“You get what?”

“The first step is being better than your own parents, not starting out perfect,” you said, “That’s why every generation is different, we’re all trying to be better than our parents, and some of us actually succeed.”

“And you think you’d be a better parent than me, is that it?”

“Shouldn’t take that much of an effort to be honest.”

“Are you…?” he motioned at you and you scoffed.

“No,” you said, “No, but what happened back there made me think. I’ve been living my whole life so convinced that you messed me up beyond my own control, beyond saving, but that’s not completely true, is it? I mean, just because you’re in my past, doesn’t mean I’ll have to include you in my present.”

“But I am in your present Petal.”

You pursed your lips together, then gestured around you. “Debatable. Nolan is buying this whole place, did you know that?” you asked, “All your guards are on our paychecks, so it should be harder to…use them to contact outside. We control everything that’s happening here, and there’s nothing you can do about that.”

He blinked a couple of times, trying to catch up with your train of thought.

“And you think that will be enough to put me behind you?”

You shook your head, “No, I don’t think it’s that easy,” you confessed, “But it’s a start.”

He moved his hands on the table, the chain rattling.

“I raised you.” he said, “I’m inside your head, whether you like it or not. You’re my legacy—“

“I’m my own legacy, you fucking idiot,” you said with a small chuckle, “That’s who I am. Just because your expectations of me will not leave me, doesn’t mean I’ll let them haunt me.”

“And you think that will be enough.”

“I will never see you again,” you tilted your head, “Should make things easier, to be honest.”

He smiled, “But you already hurt people,” he said “You know how it feels now, don’t you? That fire? Now you know what you’re capable of.”

You thought for a moment.

“Yeah,” you said, “Yeah I do. Now I know that if it ever comes to that point, I’m capable of protecting myself and my family. It doesn’t make me a monster, it makes me a survivor. Me and mom have that in common, after the shit you’ve pulled.”

He stared at you and you took a last drag of your cigarette, then checked your wristwatch.

“Well I should go. You may have all the time in the world, but I actually have a life, so…”

You stubbed your cigarette and walked to the door but as soon as you opened it, he said your name, making you stop.

“You can’t escape from this,” he said, “Even if you never see me again, you still won’t escape, you know that, right? Why do you think I chose you and not your sister? Even when you were a child, you had…something in you. Something dark, something dangerous.”

The idea was very familiar to you. You had been saying the same thing to yourself for many years and hearing it from him for what felt like a hundredth time was supposed to make you feel bad, you knew that. If it were any other time before your kidnapping, before saving yourself in that cabin, before surviving everything your father and his followers had put you through, it would probably have more effect on you.

The last time he had done that, you had ended up in the stairs, shaking until Spencer had found you.

But it wasn’t that time.

It was as if something had clicked inside your head after everything, and your father’s words held no strength in them.

“Come on honey,” he told you, “Some people are just born twisted.”

A small smile pulled at your lips and you raised your brows, looking at him for a couple of seconds, etching the sight of him in chains into your memory.

“Maybe,” you said and took a step towards him, opening your cigarette case to pull out the small jasmine flower out of it, then put it on the table, eyes locked to his before you leaned in slightly.

“But I wasn’t.”

With that, you turned around and walked out of the interrogation room for the last time, ignoring the way he was yelling your name. Your smile widened as you made your way out of the building, your heels echoing in the halls before you stepped out, the fresh air filling your lungs.

“Hey,” Spencer greeted you, leaning back to your car and reached out so that you could step into his embrace as he pushed your hair out of your face, “How did it go?”

“As expected,” you stood on your tiptoes to press a kiss on his lips and he heaved a sigh.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” you said “Yeah I feel like…he’s gone. He’s gone, I’m here and I’m free and I know myself now. I finally woke up from that nightmare, for good.”

He smiled and brushed his lips against yours, “That’s a good start,” he commented, “What do you want to do now?”

“I’m open to suggestions,” you said and he tilted his head before he held up your keys.

“What do you say we drive away and never return here?”

You let out a small giggle and wrapped your arms around his neck.

“I like that idea,” you said, “Let’s drive away and never return.”

Chapter 29 

[fruitcoops]

hi <3 i hope you’re well and having a beautiful day so far. i was wondering if you could write a fic about sirius or logan’s brother like relationship to adele - for example, how they would approach her when she’s having a bad day or when she needs advice about something or maybe even after a disagreement with her parents. no worries if you can’t, i just thought it would be a wholesome interaction 💕

Oh, for sure! Katie and Logan get so much attention (for good reason--they're adorable), but I like to think of Sirius and Adele as the blueprint. Hope you enjoy! Combined with asks for Logan and Loops friendship, Papa Dumo (for @ jinxedjaz), Sirius coming back from visiting his parents while living with the Dumais, and Sirius-learning-to-people from this hc list. SW credit goes to @lumosinlove!

I

A little hand tugged on the hem of Dumo’s sweater. “Papa?”

He glanced up from his crossword and smiled, turning to lift Adele into his lap. “Bonjour, mon papillon. Do you want to help me?”

“Is Sirius okay?”

Dumo paused. His first instinct was to lie—how could he even begin to explain the complexity of the situation to a seven-year-old?—but the brightness in Adele’s big eyes told him she already knew the answer. She was a smart kid. She deserved to know at least some of the truth. “He’s having a tough day,” Dumo said quietly as dishes clinked in the other room. No matter what he and Celeste tried, Sirius insisted on washing up. “He’ll be alright.”

A little furrow appeared between Adele’s eyebrows. “Is it because of us? Because he misses his family now?”

“No, sweetheart, not at all. He just…” The words were impossible to find. “He just doesn’t like holidays very much.”

She worried her lower lip for a moment before wiggling free of his arms. “I’m going to make him feel better.”

“Adele—” Dumo made a grab for her, but she had already scampered out of reach and around the corner to the kitchen. In the three days since Sirius had come back from Thanksgiving, he had already reverted back to his shut-down ghost of a self.

“Excuse me, please,” Adele announced. The sink shut off. “Are you sad?”

That’s certainly one way to do it. Dumo craned his neck to watch their reflections in the glass of the back door without revealing his position. Sirius was always more comfortable around the kids than himself and Celeste. “Quoi?” Sirius asked, turning to face her.

“Are you sad? You’ve been frowny.”

Silence fell for a few seconds. “Ouais, a little,” he said at last. “But I’m not sad because of you.”

“That’s good. Papa said so, too. He says you don’t like holidays, but that’s so silly, because we were just talking about Christmas last week.”

“I like some holidays,” Sirius said haltingly. There was a rustling noise; Dumo saw him pick Adele up and settle her on his hip with a thoughtful tilt to his head. “I’m very excited to spend Christmas with you.”

“Pinky swear?”

“Pinky swear.”

“Good. I want you to spend all the holidays with us. Will you be frowny on Christmas, too?”

“I don’t think so.” Dumo could practically hear Sirius’ smile. “See? I’m already better.”

“Will you open presents with me? Marc and Louis always open theirs together, and Mama and Papa, but Katie’s too little to do it with me. I like playing Santa, but it means I hafta go last.”

In the glass, Dumo saw Sirius press a raspberry kiss to her cheek until she burst into giggles; his grin lit up the whole kitchen. “Of course I will.”

II

“You have to smile,” Adele groaned. “You’re scaring off all my customers.”

Sirius raised his eyebrows. “Pardon?”

She turned a big, sunshine grin on him, pressing her fingers into her dimples to exaggerate it. “Big smiles! You like being here! These are the best cookies you’ve ever had! Everyone should try them!”

“They should!” Sirius agreed. “I don’t know why you’re upset!”

She heaved a sigh and clonked her forehead on his stomach, knocking some of the air out of his lungs. “You look scary when you don’t smile.”

“I do not.”

“You do! You’re built like a brick wall and when you’re thinking, you get frowny!” She adjusted her Girl Scout vest and straightened up. “You have to be perky and fun and the cutest little kid on the block.”

“…I might have a problem with the last part.”

“Then I’ll be the cutest little kid on the block,” she said, exasperated.

Sirius narrowed his eyes at her. “Do you think I’m scary?”

“No,” she snorted. “But other people do.”

“No way.”

“Yes, way. Mama looks surprised when her face relaxes, but you’re, like, looming.”

“So…you’re upset with how my face looks?” he teased, dodging her attempt to poke his ribs.

“No, I just don’t need a bodyguard to sell cookies!”

“That’s literally what I’m here for,” he laughed, tugging one of her pigtails until she stuck her tongue out at him. “Alright, madame, I’ll try to be ‘perky’ and ‘fun’.”

“The air quotes weren’t necessary,” she informed him with great gravity, though she couldn’t hide the smile on her face as she turned back to the people walking across the street. “Hey, lady, do you want cookies?”

III

“So,” Logan began, then shoved another handful of pretzel sticks into his mouth. “Dating the captain. What’s that like?”

Sirius looked up from his phone and glared. “I am sitting right next to you.”

“Shush. Loops?”

Remus sighed and let his head fall toward Logan’s armchair; he was starting to get lightheaded from laying upside-down for so long, but it was doing wonders for his lower back and sore feet. “Dating the captain? Pretty cool, to be honest.”

Logan made a noise of disagreement. “I don’t believe that for a second. Does he make you run drills in the basement, or is it just a cuddle party all the time? ‘cause there’s no in-between.”

“Tabarnak,” Sirius muttered, flicking Logan’s ear as he headed out of the room. “You two gossip like middle-schoolers.”

“It’s really not bad,” Remus mused as he stretched one leg toward the curtains. “I’m the one who likes running drills, so he’ll usually watch tape while I do that for a bit. Cuddles aren’t as frequent as you might think. We’re boring.”

“Mmm, with some wild nights in there, eh?” Logan wiggled his eyebrows and Remus chucked a pillow at him, though it did not seem to deter him. “I seem to remember hearing a certain conversation about a new bedframe?”

“A headboard,” Remus corrected, pulling a face at him. “And it was already almost ten years old. You’re just jealous.”

“Ugh, for him? Nah. Peanut might have carried a torch—”

“You’re kidding. Did he really?”

“Oh, yeah,” Logan snorted, as if it was obvious. “But he has better taste now. Honestly, though, I’m glad you two are together. And that you’re happy in your boring domesticity, even if you’re breaking beds left and right.”

“Headboard, and it was one time.”

“Did I ever tell you about—”

The front door slammed open; both of them jumped as something heavy hit the ground with a thud. “Sweetheart?” Celeste asked from the living room, audibly concerned. Remus’ heart dropped and he shared a worried look with Logan, who was already on his feet. “Adele, what’s wrong?”

“Adele?” Logan called, his voice laced with worry. Remus’ heartbeat picked up as Adele appeared in the doorway to the living room with tears streaming down her cheeks, only to throw herself into Logan’s arms with a harsh sob. “Woah, hey, qu’est—”

“Boys are so stupid!” she half-shouted, half-wailed. “And I hate them!”

Remus stood there, useless, as she tore away and sprinted for the backyard, yanking the door shut with a bang before tearing across the grass. “Logan?” he asked after a moment. There was no protocol for this. He had absolutely zero experience with preteen breakdowns, and the Dumais kids always fell into Logan and Sirius’ territory. He could count on one hand the number of actual conversations he had had with Adele.

Logan’s nose twitched; he opened his mouth to speak, but the words died in his throat when Sirius came through the doorway and made a beeline for the yard without a single glance to either of them. “She’ll be okay,” Logan murmured as Sirius walked slowly to the swings, where Adele was sitting on the bench seat with her arms wrapped tight around herself.

“She seems pretty upset.”

Logan shook his head, not taking his eyes off the pair. “I’ve got Katie, he’s got Adele.”

“Yeah?” Remus asked, surprised. Logan and Katie were famous for their bond, two peas in a pod. As far as he knew, Sirius was equally close with all the Dumais kids.

“Apparently, they bonded from day one,” Logan said with the flicker of a smile. Outside, Adele laid her head on Sirius’ shoulder and pulled his arm around her back, burrowing into the softness of his hoodie as he gently rocked the swing with his foot and gave her a light squeeze. “They’re both quieter. Oldest children and all that. You really didn’t know?”

“I…” Remus trailed off and shook his head. “You and Katie are much louder about it, but that makes sense. He talks about all of you all the time., I guess I just assumed it was different since he was so closed off at first.”

Logan hummed. “Ask about it sometime. Dumo always likes talking about them.”

Sirius and Adele walked back after a few more minutes, still attached at the hip as Sirius jostled her lightly and pulled half a smile from her; they entered the house in relative quiet and Adele wrapped her arms around him one more time. “Love you,” she said, voice muffled in his sweater. Sirius rubbed her back in slow circles until she pulled away and padded down the hall to the bathroom

“Children are so mean,” he said as soon as the door closed.

“Then I’m glad she has you.” Remus curled his hand around Sirius’ shoulder and felt him relax beneath his touch. “Is she alright?”

“Some little asshole told her nobody would want to date her because she plays hockey.”

Remus’ heart panged. “How can we help?”

“Teach her how to throw a right hook,” Logan suggested. In a rare turn of events, Remus couldn’t tell whether he was joking or not; from the look on his face, it seemed to be the latter.

“She’ll be okay, baby,” Remus said. Sirius didn’t look away from the closed door. “Kids have always been mean, but the best thing you can do is be there for her, which you just did. It’s hard and it sucks but as long as she knows you love her, that’s enough.”

“Does she?” Sirius asked, almost too quiet for him to hear.

Remus looped an arm around his waist and kissed the top of his shoulder. “She does,” he promised. Without a doubt.

IV

Sirius drummed his hands on the steering wheel with a wide smile. “I’m so excited,” he said for the fourth time in twenty minutes.

“I can tell,” Remus said, still reading through his missed messages. The cell service in customs had been abysmal, and for some godforsaken reason his dad desperately needed to send paragraph updates on his hunt for the perfect holiday lights. Some days, Remus wondered whether he was happiest with his family or in Home Depot.

“I missed them.”

“Yep.”

“And I can’t let Logan get there first.”

“Sure thing, honey. Speed limit.”

“Three weeks is a long time, did you know that?”

“Mhmm. Sirius, speed limit.”

“How do you manage being away from Jules for that long?”

“Very poorly,” Remus said as he typed out a quick response to his dad’s latest text. His mother would end him if he allowed their house to be decorated with anything green—in all honesty, he was starting to think she had a personal rivalry with the Snakes. They turned onto Dumo’s street and he felt the excitement radiating off Sirius kick up several notches. “Deep breaths, love.”

“Ah, fuck me, the cubs are right behind us,” he muttered, pulling over to the curb and unbuckling his seatbelt.

“Sirius!” Remus spluttered.

“What?”

“Turn the fucking car off before you get out!”

Sirius heaved a sigh and pulled the key out, then took off toward the house at a jog; Logan went sprinting past the passenger window half a second later, and Remus heard Finn shouting after him from the still-running car to no avail. They reached the front steps at the exact same time, shouldering each other in an attempt to reach the doorbell first.

“—want to push it!” Logan insisted, kicking Sirius lightly on the shin as Remus headed up the walkway.

“You did it last time!” Sirius argued.

“I’m the youngest, so I get to do it!”

“That’s not how it works!”

The door swung open just as Logan tried to bodily shove Sirius out of the way, only to be put in a scrambling headlock. Dumo regarded them with an exhausted look on his face. “Bonjour, Loops.”

“Hey, Dumo,” Remus called from the base of the steps. “Nice night, eh?”

He shrugged, ignoring the two grown men roughhousing on his welcome mat. “Not bad.”

“Are les enfants here?” Logan panted, trying to heave Sirius into the nearest hedge.

Dumo rolled his eyes and opened the door the rest of the way. “Kids, we have visitors!”

Thundering footsteps echoed off the walls; Logan and Sirius tripped over each other in their haste to get inside. “Tremzy!” Katie shrieked, launching herself into his arms with a beaming smile.

Sirius hoisted Adele straight off her feet and shook her back and forth as she wrapped her arms around his neck in a tight hug. “You were gone forever!” she laughed. “We missed you!”

“What am I, chopped liver?” Logan teased as he set Katie down and opened his arms for a hug of his own. Marc and Louis slammed into him, nearly toppling him in the entryway.

“No, no, no!” Katie giggled as Sirius blew a raspberry kiss on her stomach, only to mimic it on his cheek a moment later. “You’re all scratchy.”

“Tough for kisses,” Remus agreed. “You should tell him to shave, Katie-bird.”

Katie squished his cheeks in her hands with a solemn frown. “No more porcupines.”

“You got it,” Sirius confirmed. “What do you think, Adele?”

She pulled a face and they all dissolved into laughter, exhausted from the long roadie and unable to contain their happiness. It was a tradition Remus was coming to know as he spent more time with the team—Logan and Sirius just couldn’t resist swinging by the Dumais house after a long trip, no matter how drained and battered they were. It was a combination of a competition and a family reunion, and the kids loved it every time.

“Are you staying the night?” Marc asked, lazily tying Sirius’ shoelaces together.

“Not tonight, no.”

“But it would be fun,” Louis said from his place hoisted under Logan’s arm, legs dangling.

“They’re tired, boys, be nice.” Celeste winked at Sirius as he leaned down so she could kiss his cheek before moving to Logan to do the same. “We watched all your games. You were wonderful.”

“Merci, Celeste.” The corners of Logan’s eyes crinkled, and Remus saw Finn and Leo share a smile behind him.

Sirius craned his neck to look back. “Oh, she wasn’t talking to you.”

Logan stuck his tongue out as the kids laughed, still clinging to them both. Remus happily accepted a quick hug and a hair-ruffle from Celeste before she moved on to Finn and Leo, and settled in for a cozy evening at home.

[expired-bat]

we met in september - chapter 5

a/n: hihihi!! sorry ive been MIA for a week!! i went to art camp and i was so exhausted when i got home. i didnt have the time nor the motivation to start this chapter. it’s  back now finally!! I think for now on ill do weekly updates cuz its summer and what not. enjoy the chapter and thx for ur support!!!

-milo 

As soon as the door was unlocked, Y/N rushed to her room and slammed her door. Natalya was shocked to see her exchange daughter zoom through the house. She looked shaken and asked her daughter what happened.

Tatyana smirked. “A boy.”

The mother sighed. She was worried over nothing, unless the boy was harassing or stalking her. She then started to panic as those thoughts started to come up.

Back in Y/N’s room, she thrashed on her bed, kicking her feet up and screaming on her pillow. Her mind kept on repeating what happened and the many thoughts that swarmed her head.

Did he read it? Does he think I’m more of a loser now? What if he tells someone? What if he tells everyone?! Oh my god, I think I need to go somewhere else now.

Y/N remained flopped on her bed until she heard her door creak open. She looked up, her hair messy and on her face. She sees Natalya, worry stuck in her face.

“Y/N dear, did something happen?” she asked.

Y/N sat up from her bed and fixed her posture, “No ma’am, nothing happened today.”

“Are you sure? Taty mentioned something happened between you and a boy. Is he harassing you?”

The girl was flustered, “N-No! He’s not hurting me! He…”

Natalya then sat next to her and held her hand. She gently caressed her back. “It’s okay darling, you can tell me anything.”

The warm atmosphere her exchange mother soothed her down. She hasn’t been treated this way in so long. The dam broke, as she released her tears and began to sob. She hugged Natalya as if her life depended on it.

Y/N then told what happened today at school. She didn’t feel welcomed there, besides the two teachers that greeted her. She was left alone. She wanted to talk to people but was so afraid because of what they would think of her. And then she told her about her losing her journal. A boy who sat next to her gave it back to her at the end of the day. She then ranted about him; about his unwelcoming atmosphere, he radiated of douchebaggery, and that he might’ve read her journal.

Natalya was quick to assure her. “Dear, you don’t know if that truly happened. It’s your first day and you just met him. Maybe you should talk to him for a bit and get to know him. It’s okay to feel alone. I am here for you, and so is Taty and babushka.”

Y/N took in deep breaths. It’s going to be okay. You’re just overreacting. Stop that.

She swallowed the little saliva that was in her mouth and looked at her mother. Natalya was smiling. She then patted her head, closed her eyes, and whispered prayers.

When she was done, she got up and announced to Y/N that dinner would be ready in about thirty minutes, then walked out the room. Y/N sat there for a while figuring out what just happened. She then got up and changed into some loungewear.

Y/N went down the hallway, smelling borscht on her way to the kitchen. Tatyana and Olga sat on their seats while Natalya was preparing the dish. The girl sat next to her sister, giving her a glare.

Dinner was unusually silent that night.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

It’s midnight, and Y/N couldn’t sleep. All she could think of is what happened earlier. Her seemingly breaking down over her first day. How childish.

She got up and looked in her school bag, the journal was still there. Though the light is dim, she could see his fingerprints. Y/N clenched the journal, and searched for a clean page.

Tuesday, Sept 16, 20XX midnight

That dickhead!! He got my journal and probably read it. I’m so sorry that our privacy was violated. You’re great and all, but I probably have to dispose of you and get a new journal. It feels icky writing in this now that someone looked at it. I’m so sorry. Don’t be upset, tho, your pages are already getting filled up and you have like 6 pages left. It’s probably time to get a new one.

Anyways, Natalya figured out what happened and I had to spill the beans. She actually listened to me, something that hasn't happened in a long time. I'm thankful that she's there for me, and Taty and Babushka as well. Pray for me that the second day will go well.

Y/N closed the book and put it back in her bag. She crawled into her sheets and hugged her bat Squishmallow. Lowkey, she imagined that she was hugging someone.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

The jingle awoke Y/N, interrupting a loving dream, something she hasn’t had in a while. It took her nearly 10 minutes to get out of bed and to get ready for another day. After doing her usual morning routine, she decided to go for a more relaxed masculine look.

She ate her breakfast, and headed out the door. She prays for a good day this time.

As she entered her English class, Y/N could see him sitting on his spot. She sat next to him and got out her notebook and pen. She could feel him staring at her. She took a glance and saw his head quickly spin back to the board. Y/N could’ve sworn she saw him blush.

Class began as usual, but Y/N couldn’t help but feel watched the entire time she was taking notes. It bothered her a lot. She snapped her pen, the ink spilling everywhere on her paper and got out a new one. Y/N could hear her classmates snicker. She hates this.

The feeling continued on for the rest of her classes, even during lunch. Her palms were sweating and shaking. She almost ripped a book in half while she was in the library.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

The day was over, with not much happening that day besides the pen incident. Y/N was carrying her sketchbook, journal, and a large thick paper that is for art. a portrait of someone, and the student gets to choose the medium of their choice. She doesn’t know anyone around that is willing to be a model for her besides her exchange family.

Y/N was lost in thought, she couldn’t hear the fast tapping of footsteps coming her way. She couldn’t see what was happening, but someone shoved her out of the way, knocking everything she was carrying in her hands. It took her a second to process what happened, then rage consumed her.

She looked up to see a boy with brown hair running down the hall. She screeched from the top of her lungs, “YOU ASSHOLE! I HOPE YOU GET RUN OVER AND BECOME ROADKILL!!”

Y/N was pissed, but too tired to chase him. Once again, tears were falling as she was picking up her things. She was about to pick up a drawing of L Lawliet until she saw a larger hand with painted nails. She looked up to see who it was; much to her surprise, her seatmate.

He looked at the sketch for a moment. “Did you draw this?”

Y/N jumped when he spoke. It was yesterday all over again. “Y-Yes…”

“L, huh? He’s cool, but Ryuk is my favorite,” he said as he gave the paper back to her. 

Y/N shoved the doodle in her bag and rushed her way out to the door. She paused her tracks when she heard a “wait!”

The trotting of heavy boots came her way. Y/N could tell he was trying to keep his cool as he was fidgeting in his pockets.

He cleared his throat. “I know you’re new and that you’re not feeling welcomed here. I’m sorry that I’ve not been the nicest as well. I’m not good with meeting people,” he said as he rubbed his neck.

“I’ll just get it out of the way; I read your journal out of curiosity. I’m sorry about that too.”

Y/N’s world shattered. She fucking knew it. She felt so violated, all of the vents and secrets she wrote out, and he knew.

“Please don’t avoid me because of that. I just… want to know you.” he let out a sad smile as he said that.

Y/N had enough. “You want to know me? Why won’t you just introduce yourself like anyone else would?! Don’t be a creep and look through my journal!! Do you know how personal that shit is?!” she cried out as she clenched her fists.

He was clearly panicking. “I’m sorry about that. Please, Y/N, I…”

He was at a loss for words. Y/N was done with this and clearly frustrated. “ What do you want with me?!”

“I want to be friends!”

His cry echoed through the empty hallway. Y/N clearly couldn’t believe it. The dude who has been giving him dirty looks yesterday wants to be friends with a lowlife like her? That’s funny.

The pause was too much to handle. Someone had to speak.

“What’s your name? I forgot what it was.”

He was surprised. He swallowed and fixed a hair that was sticking out, “It’s Dee, Dee Shvagenbagen.”