#james is very proud of himself… reg… not so much

[anouri]

i had to, okay?

[itsjaywalkers]

Hii

What would James’s do to help reg when he’s feeling dysphoric? (Could be boxer or oby- you decide:) )

/dysphoric trans guy in need of fluff

<33

hi angel!! sorry it took me a bit to get back to u, i always wait until i have some time + mental energy to reply to any asks about hcs

oby reg and boxer reg are quite different when it comes to dysphoria and how they deal with it + how much or how little they allow james to help so i'm gonna do both at the same time <333

fluffy-ish hcs coming right up !!

oby reg can be more?? emotional?? about his dysphoria. when he's just mildly annoyed by it, he usually just becomes uncomfy, but when it actually hits he unconsciously seeks comfort from others (as in . ppl he trusts/is very close to). it used to be sirius but now he also has james <3

this mean he quite enjoys cuddles!! not with a lot of skin on skin contact, bc that just kinda . triggers him more?? but he goes for like . big jumpers and comfy sweats and drags james to bed with him!! depending on his mood he prefers to be the big spoon or the small spoon, but the point is that he needs to be very close to james and james is more than happy to glue himself to reg

boxer reg however turns into himself?? he becomes quiet and distant and isn't always okay with physical contact

that's why boxer james resorts to words <3 he makes sure to remind him how handsome he is, how loved, how sexy he finds his facial hair (while trying to convince him to grow a moustache), how good he is at fucking him and how obsessed james is with his cock etc etc

with oby regulus there's also a lot of body worshipping!! not at first, bc like i said, and when his dysphoria is at its worst, reg avoids skin on skin contact as much as he can. but when he feels better about it, james spends hours kissing his naked body, whispering compliments and sweet nothings and paying attention to every single detail

this isn't really sexual at all, and more often than not, it just makes reg tear up in a good way bc he feels so !! incredibly loved and appreciated that he gets overwhelmed (again, in a good way)

in the boxer au, james is more prone to acts of service?? kinda?? he's aware that reg doesn't want to be extra aware of his body so he focuses on . taking care of him in general, distracting him a lil, making sure he's comfortable and relaxed

he draws baths for him whenever he gets home from work, does the chores reg dislikes the most, cooks him his favourite meals, gives him thorough massages when he looks especially stressed or tense

in oby, despite reg being a lot more reliant on physical touch than interviewer reg and actively seeking it out, he also appreciates words of affirmation <3 james leaves him these sweet little notes filled with lovely statements and reminders all over their flat and drowns him in compliments when they're together!! he also sends him texts when he's at work

boxer james isn't as touchy bc interviewer reg doesn't really enjoy it when he's feeling like this HOWEVER there's a lot of like . casual contact?? brief and careful but also firm and intentional. a hand on the small of his back, a gentle squeeze on his hip, a caress on the side of his neck. little ways in which james reminds him that he's there always and he can come to him whenever he feels ready and that he isn't going anywhere

oby james does a lot of research on trans ppl and gender dysphoria and hormones and surgery and transitioning bc his knowledge is limited and he wants to be there for reg in any way he can!! they sit down and talk about it whenever reg is up for it and feeling well enough to speak about his struggles and how it feels and what he needs from james <3 james holds his hand the whole time and squeezes periodically and listens very very attentively, taking lots of mental notes. tells him how proud he is of him and how strong he is <3

boxer james is a lot more experienced in this field bc he's been with trans ppl and knows quite a lot on the topic + he's familiar with reg and how he deals with his issues so they don't talk that much about it but there's a lot of?? silent communication?? james gives reg space when he's aware that that's what he wants while being There at the same time yk?? he doesn't insert himself or interrupt when pandora or evan or both come over when reg is having a especially hard time but he's ready to hold reg when they're gone and he's Focused so he can read him correctly and give him what he needs

oby reg is quite spoiled, and hence all the jokes about james being a sugar daddy, and this also comes into play when his dysphoria gets worse. james has always been big on gifts but when reg isn't feeling okay he goes a bit . overboard . as soon as reg looks at something for a second too long james is getting it for him. it exasperates reg to no end but he also finds it incredibly endearing + he knows it's one of the ways in which james shows his love so it always cheers him up

interviewer reg is more logical and . harsh about his dysphoria, maybe bc he's a bit of a well-known/public figure and he can't always afford to break down or show any weaknesses especially in front of ppl who can and will use them against him. and it can be hard when his job also forces him to deal with a lot more transphobia for . obvious reasons . he tends to repress his struggles a lot which is also why he's more prone to isolating himself and distancing himself

james Knows and Understands this, which i've already mentioned, and he gives him space when he truly needs it BUT he can also be a bit stern when he notices reg is going too far or like . harming himself in the process of protecting himself. he'd never overstep or be cruel or pushy about it, but he's firm in his gentleness and tells it like it is. reg really appreciates this about him, and sometimes he needs the reminder that he can lean on james whenever he needs to

when it comes to sex in oby (and reg has been struggling with dysphoria), james checks up on him a lot while they're at it, and he also makes sure every single time that reg truly wants it + is in the mood. he's also always ready to stop at the first sign of reg being uncomfy or not enjoying himself

he also exclusively uses masc terms for reg's genitals. he's aware that he doesn't really mind, and it's one of those things reg has been confident about for a while, but it helps when reg is feeling bad or wrong about his body. he focuses a lot more on reg's pleasure too, and that's saying a lot, considering he already prioritises it over his own

in the boxer au, there's a lot of topping on reg's side. they don't switch as much as oby jegulus, due to preferences, but when reg is feeling especially dysphoric james bottoms A Lot. and they both enjoy it SO MUCH even if james keeps acting like he prefers topping a lot better bc he's annoying like that

interviewer reg takes full control but james doesn't give it up easily, which reg Loves. james knows he needs that fight and that he needs to win it fairly, so he resists all he can and doesn't go easy on reg At All. he still loses every single time bc reg and his strap always turn him into a begging sobbing mess, and james is obsessed with how rough reg can become

and that's all <3 i hope it was what u wanted, or that u at least liked it <3 sending all my love MWAH

[floralembarrassment]

Panic then Tea (1/1) (jegulus)

"Reg," James called out as he came into the house. He was panicking a bit. Speed walking as fast as he could as he bustled through the house with a six week old Harry in his arms. He had been sitting outside on the back porch, enjoying the soft end of summer sun and breeze. The problem: he'd fallen asleep.

Harry looked okay but was quiet. Too quiet. He wasn't asleep, and his big eyes were staring intently at James, just blinking. Something had to be wrong.

"Regulus!" James called again, this time up the stairs. The fear in this holler was unmistakeable and Regulus came streaming out of Harry's room where he had been cleaning up. "What? What's wrong? Is every- is Harry alright? Are you?"

He nearly tumbled down the stairs. "I'm sorry, I - I fell asleep in the rocker out back and he hasn't moved or cried or anything! I don't know how long I've been out there! I'm so sorry, here!" James said hurriedly and shifted to shove Harry gently into Regulus' arms to check over.

Regulus got his bearings and removed the blanket from Harry, but there wasn't a problem to be found. In fact he was smiling a little baby smile, and his eyes were blinking up now at his papa. Regulus looked up, making an attempt to calm James and meet his gaze. "Okay, it's alright," Regulus started, but James was now a few feet away from him, clearly spiralling.

"Oh Barty was right I should never have been allowed to be a dad!" James said as he paced and ran shaky hands through his already messy hair.

"James," Regulus tries again, to no avail. James is mumbling apologies and has his hands now covering his face. "I swear I had just closed my eyes for a minute but the -"

"James." Regulus said firmly, reaching a free hand out to grip on James' upper arm and stop him. Physical touch always grounded him, so Regulus stepped closer, pulling James' arms behind his back to be able to tuck himself and Harry in his arm. As James let himself be led, he calmed. "James take a deep breath," Regulus ordered, to which James immediately obeyed.

"Look," Regulus said bouncing Harry a bit. "Darling he isn't making noise because he was happy in his daddy's arms. It's okay that you fell asleep James it's only been 10 minutes anyhow. He's okay and you're a great dad." Regulus was so tender and soothing with James and this was just another reason why he needed Regulus, his rock, always steady.

"He's okay?" James asked running his eyes over their son.

"Yes love," Regulus confirmed.

"Oh thank Merlin," he let out a huge sigh.

"Why don't we go in the kitchen and have a cup of tea, hmm? Then we can sit on the couch and you can nap for a bit while I put Harry down for his too?" Regulus asked, but it was more directions than anything. He started to walk down the hall as James took a moment and then followed behind.

As Regulus pulled out the mugs and set the kettle with his free hand (a skill he has become very proud of), James came up behind him and wrapped his arms around his waist, and one hand cradling Harry's head. "I couldn't do this without you." James whispered and kissed Regulus in the cheek.

"I know," he smirked fondly back.

"I love you. Both. So much," James said.

"We love you too," Regulus said, turning and waving Harry's tiny hand at his Daddy.

[aludraslytherin]

His arm was making him hurt. It was burning. Making him feel sick. He could feel his skin, his cells, his whole being protest against the inky dark magic being forcefully put on his arm.

He wanted to die. To disappear and never come back. He wanted to make them pay for it, but most of all, he was scared.

It was time for him to go back to Hogwarts. He would have to face Dorcas. Pandora. He was scared they won't understand. He has no idea how will he be able to function if they turn their back to him, although he would understand if they did.

But worst of all. He will have to face James. How is he going to face him? He is so pure, so kind, so gunt wrenchingly nice and loving. Regulus knows that James said that he will always love him, always be here for him.

But will he? Will he bend his morals just for him? Is he really going to taint his soul with Regulus Black's madness?

He is doubting it. He doesn't mind, he doesn't really care. (That's a lie, he cares so much. But lying to himself is easier then to accept the reality). James is too good. If he break up with him, Regulus will understand. Will accept it.

He loves James with his whole being. He knows that breaking up will be the safest option. He would be cursed ten thousands time before he'll let anything happen to his love. So be it.

"Hey love." Greeted James as Regulus entered in the Come and Go room. He was even more afraid as he just confronted Dorcas and Pandora. Thankfully they understood, but their reaction when they saw it will feed his nightmare for a whole months, at the very least. "I missed you Reg."

They hugged, tightly. When James noticed how bad Regulus was shaking, he tightened his embrace again.

"I missed you too Jamie." Muttered the smaller teen, who was holding James like he was a piece of wood in an angry ocean, like he was the last string helping him to stay out of the water.

"Are you okay? What happened?" His tone shifted, from sweet and caring, to concerned and angry. "What have they done to you? Tell me, please."

Wanting this to get over with as soon as possible, he let go of his boyfriend, and, taking a deep breath in, rolled up his sleeve carefully, showing that hideous Dark Mark staining his skin, and just seeing it uncovered was enough to make it throb, to make him ill.

Putting his other hand down, he rolled it into a fist, trying to hold on his tears, but no matter how hard he was trying, the panic attack was creeping through his body, and his iron grip on his emotions started to fade.

He distantly heard James gasp, and he was getting ready to be cussed out, yelled at, when instead James carefully rolled his sleeve back into it's place, and pulled him back into a hug.

"Shhh... There is no need to panic alright?" His said soflty, strocking Regulus back in a slow, steady pace for him to match his breathing too. After a long moment, the Slytherin calmed down. "Okay, I wil ask just two questions alright?"

Regulus nodded, and James dried his tears with his thumbs as he was cupping his face with his hands.

"Did you take it voluntarely?"

"No! No I didn't James I promis-" Regulus started to panic again.

"Hey, calm down, it's okay." Cut James. "So they forced you to take it?" His boyfriend nodded, once again, biting his lips. "Alright then. It was not your fault. I don't hate you for it baby. Actually, thank you for trusting me. I know it was hard for you. I'm proud of you love."

He then kissed his forehead.

Damn, Regulus thought. I guess I'll have to obliviate him...

His heart was bleeing, and he wanted to die. Because he had to keep James safe. And staying together would just endanger him more.

[kittykatkatelol2]

"Dark Mark" Jegulus Oneshot

Prompt by @jegulus-microfic (prompt: praise)

-

Regulus stood in the middle of the room, his arm in agonizing pain, while his family praised him and their lord, and all Regulus could think about is how he betrayed James.

The Dark Mark shown brightly against the contrast of Regulus's pale skin; it made Regulus want to be sick, but he couldn't help but think of all that this mark stood for and be the tiniest of bits proud.

Then he though about James.

About what James going to say when he saw.

All the proudness and hints of happiness disappeared when he thought about how James was going to hate him for this.

His one love, the man who gave him so much joy and light in this hell, his sun - was going to hate him; for something he had no choice in.

Just as Bellatrix was about to tell him some more bullshit and give him more undeserved praise, Regulus left the room, not saying another word, and locks himself in his room.

Sirius had long fled this house, so he couldn't even go to them about this.

The one person who was ever nice to him, had left.

. . .

James walked to his front door, hearing someone ring the doorbell and thinking it was post.

He opened it, and stopped dead in his tracks as he saw who it was.

It was not the postman.

"Hey, Jamie... Uh.. May I come in..?"

James doesn't hesitate a moment to wrap Regulus in a tight hug.

"Oh my god, Reggie, oh my god- of course you can come in, you know you are always welcome. Oh my gods, I can't believe its you.."

"'Always welcome'.. Doubtful, once I tell you what I've become," Regulus thought to himself bitterly, but says nothing of the sort and forces the bitterness out of his words.

"Thanks, James.."

James basically drags Regulus inside after hugging him so tightly.

"Mum, Dad, Pads! Reggie is here!!" James called into the quiet house.

Fleamont and Euphemia Potter came into the room, but not before Sirius ran into the room and jaw dropped once she saw his brother again.

"Reg..?" Sirius's voice cracks as he steps out to see Regulus, not quite sure if this is even real, or if she was just dreaming.

"Hi Sirius."

The two hesitate a moment before hugging each other; it was probably the first time Sirius was able to hug Regulus since they were very little.

"Hello, Regulus, I hope you know you are welcome to stay as long as you want to," Effie says after Sirius and Regulus are done hugging; Sirius's eyes are red from trying not to cry (and failing).

"Thank you," Regulus says gratefully to James's parents, but somewhere inside him he knew that this generosity would be all but a memory once they found the mark on his arm, that was still burning from the recent inking.

"James could we talk for a minute, alone?" Regulus asks James in an undertone so only he could hear.

"Yeah, sure, come on, I'll show you to your room."

James takes Regulus's hand as they walk up the stairs, leaving the others behind.

James makes a mental note of how cold Regulus's hands were compared to last time he was able to hold them.

They both walk into the spare guest room, and Regulus closes the door behind the both of them.

"So what did you want to talk about?"

Regulus takes a deep breath before speaking.

"Jamie, I want you to know that I love you-"

"I love you too, Reggie!"

"I haven't finished.."

James's face falls, and he looks at Regulus curiously who continues to speak.

"I love you, and I really hope you do too, and I really want you to know that I had no choice.." Regulus says, his voice getting quieter but he keeps his eyes on James's as he reluctantly rolls up his sleeve.

His arm was red from irritation from the mark; the Dark Mark plastered black ink over his forearm.

"I am so sorry, Jamie-"

James says nothing, just stares in shock and horror at the Dark Mark on his lover's skin, while Regulus was willing himself not to let any tears slip.

James reaches out after a few moments to grasp Regulus's arm, his thumb just barely grazing over the black ink.

"I still love you Reggie. I just.. I just don't know what we are going to do now."

-

[Word count: 704]

[nhasablogg]

Unfinished Friday round 2

Fandom: Harry Potter

Characters: Sirius, James/Regulus

Anonymous said: Jegulus anon here!! I was thinking of a fic of like little moments of Sirius catching them being cute and sappy and just being a nuisance to them.

A/N: Unfinished means a fic that I just know I won’t finish but which has enough to it for someone to possibly enjoy it and so I don’t wanna scrap it entirely. This will also probably be the only fic for this round!

Words: 735

His best friend was in love. That wasn’t something Sirius hadn’t seen before. James had been pining over Lily for years before finally giving up once he realized there was no use, that she didn’t want more than a very lovely friendship with him. It hadn’t been a pretty realization, but Sirius felt proud of how he could lean into her now and have it mean nothing. It hadn’t been linear.

Because of this, when James started showing signs of having a crush, Sirius picked up on it before it was fully developed. He hadn’t been looking for it, but he recognized the symptoms. Had lived with them for so long, and so when James sighed and smiled to himself, Sirius knew.

“Who is it?” he asked, batting his eyes as James frowned in confusion. When he asked again a few weeks later James blushed. He’d caught on too.

“I’m not telling you,” he said, and Sirius had tickled and begged and threatened and still James had said nothing. It was impressive. And a bit alarming.

“Is it Moony?” He tried not to act as if it bothered him.

“What? No, no, of course not.”

“Oh. Okay.” And then, “Is it me?”

“God, absolutely not.”

“You don’t have to sound so offended.”

James laughed, but Sirius caught the slight panic behind it and couldn’t understand.

He understood now, of course, and he understood only a month or so after he noticed James’ panic when he saw him interact with Regulus. See, while he’d been focusing so much on James’ crush he’d completely missed that Regulus had one, too.

Hmm, kind of gross. And cute. He was fine with it, he realized as he watched them dance around each other. It was too hilarious to not approve of. Besides, he felt they could be happy once they got their acts together.

“It’s okay, you know,” he told James one day, having accidentally caught him looking at Regulus in a way that wasn’t simply friendly. “If you like him, I mean.”

James exhaled slowly. “Of course I like him.”

“You know what I mean, Prongs.”

James’ blush was different. Not simply embarrassment rather than pure vulnerability. Terrified. It hurt Sirius to see him like that.

“You know,” he said when James didn’t reply. “I’ve kissed, like, five guys. I can teach you if that’s what you’re worried about.” He knew it wasn’t, but he hadn’t told James of his own attractions before.

It seemed to work, though. James finally met his gaze, visibly calmer. “Absolutely not.”

“You know, I’m starting to think you don’t find me hot, Prongs.”

He was right about them being happy together, he got to find out after some excruciating weeks of watching them both pine, only it was also terribly annoying to see them be sappy together once they did figure things out. And being the older brother, and technically older than James, he took it upon him to be, well, older brotherly.

Regulus wasn’t as shy about it when Sirius approached him in private, which was annoying because he’d been looking forward to teasing him. But something about teasing him in front of James was different. The kid was blushing.

“Oh, red does suit you, Reg.”

“Shut up,” he snapped, softening only because James was laughing beside him, an arm slung over Regulus’ shoulders and fingertips drumming against his collarbone. Sirius felt an idea forming in his mind; one he would thoroughly enjoy the execution of if done right.

He grinned and settled down beside his brother, maybe too close to seem innocent. Regulus was pretty much trapped between them and visibly annoyed about it.

“Scoot over, you idiot,” he said, shoving at Sirius, which hadn’t been Sirius’ plan but worked perfectly well anyway.

“Hey, be nice,” he said, giving his brother a poke to the ribs.

Regulus flinched away, just like Sirius had wanted, with a noise that sounded almost like a shriek. Something glittered in James’ eyes, but Sirius was unable to see more of his reaction when Regulus decided to tickle him back, that bastard.

“Don’t do that,” Regulus hissed as he squeezed at Sirius’ thigh again, making him laugh, although James had tickled him plenty of times before and so this wasn’t unusual. When Sirius managed to get Regulus off of him he could tell it was Regulus’ own sensitivity that was still on his friend’s mind.

[rollercoasterwords]

WHAT did james DO that he's so sexy and a wanted criminal since he was a child and can do wandless magic what did you put in him omg! loved the ch it was amazing and i. i knew itttt :))))) this is a convo i'd be. Interested to hear more about..... will s continue to be a sad wet kitten... what will he do..... do they think reg is dead because they found a way to take off the dark mark and voldy thinks it means he's dead.... will dorcas be okay..... who is the mcd.. so many questions!! can't wait for the next one :0) the flow of your writing is one of the best i've read & the distinct voice you give to each character is really beautiful. we're lucky you put your stuff out there for us to read :-) if i dare ask.... what's your favorite line you've written in this ch.... because "he was a knife in the hand of justice" is soooo good it really brings me into his mind but alas. curious about yours 👀

everybody loves a rebel....a bad boy.....

as for what he did to get put on a watchlist. well that will all be revealed. eventually. at some point. probably. i have his whole backstory in my head but i cannot emphasize enough how much of my writing for this is just me rawdogging it...absolutely just making shit up as i go along having fun spinning a tale at the campfire etc...for example did not know i was gonna put sirius's whole backstory into this ch until i was writing it lmao

s is indeed king of pity parties. guy who imprisons + tortures + kills people NOT enjoying the taste of his own medicine!! honestly surprised @ how many people have commented abt james + remus being too mean to him in this one lol trust me from their povs they are being wayyyyyy nicer than they could be....they of course do not know his little sob story the way we all do but. even if they did idk if they'd feel very sorry for him atp in the fic tbh. and of course i cannot answer any of ur other questions rn....

anyway tysm for the kind words!! i actually have. a lot of lines i was really proud of in this ch!! forgot how much i liked it bc i kind of hate the next one lmfao but my faves r probably

They are two strangers. Two strangers in a white room with no doors.

and

He was a man, and he was a ghost, and he was seventeen and haunting his own body and watching himself grow older from someplace very far away.

also quite fond of the ghosts haunting different graveyards line but fear that including it will tip everyone off to how often i reuse the same metaphors xx

[impishtubist]

so i was an inside kid for the entirety of my college career and didn’t know that was a thing either, but the internet taught me about that and i was like, oh that’s remus if he was a bit of a slag (affectionate). he gives off this aura of being an unapproachable nerd and he kind of is, but also he’s absolutely out there every quidditch game trying to get at least two jerseys from each house for what is basically the hogwarts version of 1970s post-grad bragging rights and blackmail, if needed.

james hears about this, he is immediately all “oh absolutely mate let me help out” because he is the best at quidditch and remus is their friend (their being the marauders) so of course he wants to be the first, and then he’s actually confronted with the image of remus in his quidditch jersey, and he knows immediately he’s caught feelings in the worst way possible. regulus is also the one who offers himself up to remus, thinking sirius’s reaction will at least be funny even if the sex isn’t great (their relationship is generally better in this scenario), but then the sex is actually fantastic and when remus is like “ta had a good time, i’ll add this to the collection” and leaves regulus’s dorm for prefect duty with reg’s jersey under his school robes regulus is similarly like, oh, i’m in trouble, aren’t i. and the answer is yes he is.

both of them have a small crisis over this for many reasons but it culminates in them both trying to date remus, who is generally oblivious that this is happening. james is sort of a flirt normally so remus thinks he’s just being himself, and regulus’s idea of a date is a broody walk at dusk in front of the black lake during midwinter, so it really isn’t all that obvious what’s going on. they both figure out what the other is going for, and they’re both a little affronted, because they’re both a little possessive and regulus has an ego that almost matches james’s own, but it’s not as though they aren’t attracted to each other, sexual tension on the quidditch field and all that, and james is probably one of the few other people at school regulus feels like he can trust, by virtue of him being so close with sirius. so they agree to try together, but it’s still probably sirius who figures out what’s going on before remus, who likely thinks james and regulus are just dating each other. sirius’s reaction is very “YOU TWO? AND HIM?”, he has no idea who to be more annoyed with. really it’s likely him who approaches remus and tells him what’s going on, he’s all “i know you basically don’t sleep between pranks and prefect duties and how swotty you are and being in your slag era, so i’m not sure if you’ve lost some higher brain function but reg and prongs both want to date you please put me out of my misery and them out of theirs and just acknowledge it” and of course remus goes to them like, sirius is having me on, isn’t he? and reg and james aren’t certain if they should be annoyed with him for doing that or grateful, but settle for grateful when after they explain it was not actually a prank or a joke remus agrees on a three-way hogsmeade date, or library session. they’re all very happy and in love, remus is however still very proud of his collection of jersey’s

oh no

oh no

oh no i love this so much

An anon came to my inbox and left me the perfect James/Regulus/Remus scenario????? I have been blessed! I am not worthy! I need this 50K fic in my eyeballs immediately!

(also Sirius is So Tired and complains about it constantly to his boyfriend Gideon and he is So Relieved when James, Regulus, and Remus finally get their shit together)

[fruitcoops]

I'm having a shit day all around and the only way it could be better is to have my sister around lol but she's away for college. I was wondering if you could do a fic with Jules or Reg? Where they're having an awful day and seek sibling hugs? :) Thank you

Anon, this is such a mood right now and I hope you can see your sister soon <3 SW credit goes to @lumosinlove!

Regulus didn’t miss the Snakes. Far from it, actually—he hated them and everything they stood for, and he would never forgive them for what they did to his brother. For all he cared, they could burn alongside his parents.

But sometimes…sometimes he regretted dropping out of hockey.

The spotlight was constantly on Sirius, now; there were no more comparisons between the brothers, but that also meant the papers never looked deeper than the surface of Regulus’ personality. Sirius was overwhelmingly, ridiculously proud of him for going to college—almost too proud, in Regulus’ opinion—and lit up like a candle whenever it was brought up at an interview.

He’s my little brother, Sirius had said during the most recent conference. I’m happy he’s following his heart for once.

So reporters fawned over him whenever they saw him at the grocery store and peppered him with endless questions, only to sprinkle in the bare minimum around all the amazing, wonderful things Sirius had done in the past 24 hours since they last interrogated him. They spoke to Regulus like he was some dumb high schooler who had dropped out because he couldn’t handle the pressure—simpering, sympathetic, and a little pitying.

They didn’t care about him. They cared that he was the great Sirius Black’s kid brother, and there was nothing he could do about it now that he was off the ice.

Regulus scrolled past a few more articles with his face plastered on the front, gripping the cool marble countertop tightly. Let it roll off, he reminded himself. They don’t know you or Sirius.

NHL Dropout to Attend NYU

Younger Black ‘Following His Heart’

Sirius Black: Proudest Brother in the NHL

See Sirius Black’s New Interview Here!

“I’m heading out!” Remus called from the front door, snapping Regulus’ train of thought.

“Alright, drive safe.”

The door closed behind him with a clickand Regulus sighed, sliding down to sit on the floor. He rested his head back against the cabinets, simultaneously too upset to be productive and too energized to mope around. He lingered there for a few minutes, staring at the ceiling, before sighing again and heading into the basement. Only one thing would make him feel better.

“Bonjour,” Sirius said absentmindedly as he skated along the outside of the rink.

“Got room for one more?”

Sirius looked up and grinned. “Course.”

Lacing his skates was muscle memory, and pushing out onto the ice was more of a relief than he cared to admit. Part of him had been afraid it would be soured by his decision to leave the NHL—maybe that was a silly thought, but hockey still held a large piece of his heart.

Maybe I’ll go back someday, he thought as he flicked a puck to Sirius. Not now, but…later.

The puck bounced off the front of his skates. “You’re thinking too loud.”

“You don’t think loud enough,” he countered.

Sirius barked a laugh and checked him lightly. “Head in the game, petit enfant. Head in the game.”

“I hate it when you call me that.”

“Why do you think I do it?”

“Because you’re an asshole.” He slapped the puck toward the goal, but it bounced off the crossbar. Irritation flared hot and white in his chest. “Pass it back, yeah?”

“There’s one right next to your—”

“Just pass it back!” Regulus snapped. His throat felt tight; the back of his neck itched, and there was unwelcome pressure building behind his eyes.

Sirius’ teasing smile dimmed. “Reg?”

He sniffled. “Just pass the fucking puck, okay?”

The soft shush of skates was familiar and more soothing than Regulus cared to admit. Nobody skated as quietly as Sirius—there was a reason they called him ‘Padfoot’ after all. He stared at the ground, willing the tears of hurt and frustration to vanish into thin air. Arms wound around him.

“Stop it,” he demanded, though his voice broke. “Sirius, let go.”

Sirius pulled him closer and rested his chin on top of his head. Regulus felt something crack a little inside, and his shoulders began to shake with silent sobs. Sirius rubbed his back like he was eight years old again, falling apart in the backyard because his feet hurt, and it was cold, and that stupid play just wasn’t clicking.

“Nobody likes me,” he blubbered. In any other scenario, he would’ve felt like the biggest wuss in North America, but Sirius was safe. Sirius was home.

“People like you.”

“Only because they like you better.” He took a few shallow gulps of air. “They—they pretend to care an’ I can’t even do anything about it anymore.”

“Is this about reporters?”

“It’s about everyone.”

Sirius sighed heavily. “Reg—”

“It’s fine, I can handle it—”

“Stop.” Silence fell over the rink. Sirius pulled back and held Regulus’ face between his hands, looking straight into his eyes. “You are outstanding, and one of the bravest people I know. If reporters don’t take the time to see that, they aren’t worth your energy.”

Regulus wiped his cheek dry. “I know.”

“And the Lions think you’re pretty damn cool, too. James is still waiting for that rematch after you kicked his ass. Leo’s your best friend. Remus has been talking about that book you recommended for a week straight, which I don’t know whether to thank you for—” That drew a weak laugh from him, and he saw Sirius’ face soften. “—and I’m your brother. I missed you, and I love you. So please don’t dwell on tabloids or some shit like that. They have no right to make you feel unloved.”

Regulus leaned forward into his chest with a few deep breaths. “How are you so good at pep talks?”

“Captain.”

“Ugh, right.”

“I was terrible at them in the beginning,” he said. Regulus snorted. “Ask Pots or Kasey sometime. It was mortifying. I’m pretty sure Coach almost took my badge away for that.”

“Really?”

“Mhmm. Now come on, your slapshot still sucks.”

“It does not!” Regulus protested, punching him in the arm as he pulled away. “My slapshot is perfect!”

“Tell that to the crossbar.” Sirius their skates together. “Come on, put some power into it!”

“I regret being related to you.”

“Says the one who got snot on my shirt five minutes ago.”

Regulus’ next (entirely perfect, thank you very much) slapshot went directly toward Sirius’ shin. He dodged, unfortunately, but the undignified yelp it earned him was well worth the trouble.

[lavenderlyncis]

F, R, U?? :)

This turned out so so long, I'm very sorry <3

F: a snippet from a dialogue scene that I'm proud of with an explanation

This was kind of tricky, because there are so many scenes from tbwb that I would love to talk about and explain. I decided on this one purely, because I can talk about it without spoiling too much.

"This one is called 'sunflowers'," Regulus began.

James wheezed at this. "I wonder why."

"Shut the fuck up." He cleared his throat. "Anyway, this was painted with only three shades of yellow. He demonstrated that it was possible to paint with one singular colour, without losing any amount of eloquence. The sunflowers represented a sort of gratitude for Van Gogh. He once wrote that in a way, he owned the sunflower. I believe that to be true. No one else has ever painted sunflowers quite like he did."

"I guess." The dismissal in James' voice made Regulus' blood boil.

He sharply turned to him. This time, James was looking at the painting and not at him, which was strangely disappointing. "Excuse you?"

"I mean, yeah, he owns the sunflower, but that's not a very nice flower to own." He shrugged and focused on Regulus again.

Regulus was shocked. The sunflower, not a nice flower to own? Didn't James have any eyes? He opened his mouth, but no words came out.

James, the tasteless prick, continued. "It's not as impressive as painting... oh, I don't know, water lilies perhaps."

"Excuse you?!" Regulus saw red. "You did not just compare Van Gogh to Monet, did you?" His voice became shrill, and he had half a mind not to actually scream at James in public.

"He is the superior impressionist," he asserted with mischief glinting in his eyes.

Regulus sputtered. "He is- No! What? How do you even come to that conclusion? The audacity! You come into this museum and disrespect the man himself?!"

"What can I say, I just always liked water lilies better than sunflowers." He shrugged and Regulus paused.

Was James trying to tell him something? This had most likely been some teasing on James' part, but 'water lilies'? James had to be a fool to not read the hidden meaning of that. Was this his way of rejecting him yet again?

Regulus had gotten the message the first time. James didn't need to remind him.

I like this scene so much because it tells us everything we need to know about James and Reg's dynamic and the cause of their issue.

On a surface level, James tries to get under Regulus' skin because he likes seeing his reaction. Regulus is very reactionary when it comes to James. Those two know exactly what they have to say to rile the other up and that's a very important part of their relationship. It shows how well they know each other.

On a deeper level, the entire core conflict they are facing gets demonstrated here. James says something random without thinking about it and Regulus, lead by his insecurities, interprets a deeper meaning into it, that James didn't intend. They face a major miscommunication issue that they need to adress, but neither of them have realized that it's even happening.

I also just really enjoy the metaphor of Lily being waterlilies by Monet and Regulus being sunflowers by Van Gogh. The sunflower motive is going to be continued throughout the entire story, which can be seen by the title of the very chapter that scene is from, "blooming of a sunflower", which is a reference to Regulus' feelings being rekindled.

R: are there any writers that i consider an influence?

I would be a fool to not mention @mcplestreet here. I think my love for their work is widely known, but they are singlehandedly responsible for getting me to post my work, so they definitely had the lairgest influence on me.

Another writer I would consider an influence is actually @wegkreuzer. She's not a fanfic author, but she sends me poems and sometimes short stories of hers that always inspire me in some way. There's even going to be one of her poems featured in tbwb.

U: Three of my favourite fic writers and why I love them so much

I don't think I can choose just three. I'm sorry. These are in no particular order.

@aureusprongs. I don't think I even need to elaborate. Omnia vincit amor is a masterpiece. He just gets the characterisations of these characters right.

@euphorial-docx just delievers the best version of Regulus there is, but what I truly admire her for is how they're able to set the atmosphere. I have such a vivid image in my head when reading their work and it's wonderful.

@plutosmoony has an amazingly artistic portrayal of Regulus' mental health, which is so addicting to read. I love it when people put work into their themes and motifs and Pluto does that so much.

@thebattlehamster. No one is surprised by that. I love it when characters lament about the past and when you were mine is full of that. Yaz is able to create a story that's so dramatically beautiful and I love them for it.

Yes, I'm gonna put @mcplestreet here too. How could I not? They're stories are pure art. I especially admire them for portraying the Jegulus interactions in such a beautifully romantic way.

I just realized that I can't actually name everyone that I wanted to name and now I'm sad :(

Just know that if I follow you, you belong on this list as well. And if I don't follow you, you probably also belong on this list. I read a lot.

[ghostlywritten]

If Only I Had Stayed In The Shadows - Chapter Twelve

James Potter x OC

A/N: At last, the long awaited chapter. Sorry for the wait, my laptop has been failing on me. Hope you enjoy.

Words: 3,8k

Prologue  Chapter One   Chapter Two  Chapter Three  Chapter Four  Chapter Five  Chapter Six  Chapter Seven  Chapter Eight  Chapter Nine  Chapter Ten  Chapter Eleven

It was the last weekend before the beginning of the exams for literally everybody. The library was packed with not a single seat unoccupied as well as the common room, where people had even taken to sitting on the floor to study, the dorms being too sitfling.

I had been one of the lucky ones to get a seat at a table, revising my notes with James next to me.

"How do you brew the Elixir to Induce Euphoria?"

"You add shrivelfig, porcupine quills and stir four times anti-clockwise. Then you add a sprig of peppermint, Sopophorous beans and wormwood and stir six times anti-clockwise," James recited, twirling a strand of my hair between his fingers.

"That is correct."

"Yes!"

"Alright, your turn-"

"Hey, what about my reward?" James asked and I looked at him questioningly, "My kiss?" He pouted and I gave in almost immediately, not being able to resist his big earth-coloured eyes as I leant forward to press my lips against his.

"Hmm, that's it," he hummed approvingly and it made my face grow as I thought of him saying it during certain other circumstances. I was a girl, a sixteen year old girl, and of bloody course my mind would wander towards certain things that I could be doing instead of studying, now that I had a boyfriend...things, that I couldn't have had managed before on my own. And with a boyfriend as hot as mine I couldn't help but let my gaze linger whenever he stretched himself during Quidditch warm-ups, causing his shirt to deliciously rile up and reveal his abs, or watching him bite his lips whenever he concentrated hard on something, wishing he would bite me-

"Love? Cec? Hellooo?" James snapped his fingers in front of my face and I blinked. "Are you spacing out on me? Siriusly? After you dragged my ass to sit and study with you? Jeez, then ungratefulness stinks," he huffed in mock-annoyance and I shook my head to get the thoughts out.

"Sorry. What were you saying?"

"It's my turn. What colour does the Potion have and what is it for?"

"The colour should be a bright yellow and as the name implies, it's supposed to induce the drinker in a sudden euphoria."

"That is absolutely correct!"

"Of course it is," I replied arrogantly, flinging my hair before giggling. James smirked, leaning forward. "Come and get your reward then." My heart leaped in my chest but I managed to stop him with a hand on his chest. "Nah, I'm good," I teased with a shrug, briefly wondering where Marlene was. She would have been so proud of me right now. James frowned for a second before promptly throwing himself on me. "Uff, James!" I exclaimed, pearls of laughter escaping as he snuck his arms around me to lessen the blow of landing on the hard floor, pinning me down effectively with his body.

"How dare you reject my generous offer of rewarding you with a kiss?" James said gravely, chuckles drifting through his words, "You shall be punished with more rewards."

"Bite me!"

"Gladly!" I squealed as he started attacking my neck, nipping playfully at the sensitive skin.

"Can you stop with your childish antics?!” Lily's voice ripped through our laughter. She stood up with a peeved look, gathering her things. "Some people are actually trying to study!" She stormed off before any of us could form an answer.

James sprang up, adjusting his glasses as he held out a hand for me whilst looking after her. I brushed off any dirt from my clothes and went to sit down.

"I should probably go and check on her," he suggested and I wanted to ask why when he was already taking off.

"Alright," I said lamely to his back, watching until he disappeared through the portrait hole. I plopped back down on my seat, glancing at Alice, who was completely immersed in her notes, not even aware her best friend's departure. Looking down at my own notes, I tried to focus but my eyes kept drifting from word to word without taking anything in as my mind kept replaying the way James ran after Lily with little to no hesitation. 

'You're thinking too much into it...

...I wonder what they are doing right now...'

I sighed loudly, frustrated that I couldn't let it go. Peeking at the only studious girl at the table, I stood up. "I'm...gonna go to the loo," I excused myself and left when I received no response.

Walking out of the common room, I promptly slapped myself on the forehead.

Was I really going to follow them like a creepy, insecure girlfriend? Obviously.

Was I going to find them with the head start they had now? Obviously not. Dumbass.

Glancing back at the portrait of the Fat Lady guarding our entrance, I pondered whether to go back inside or try looking for them. Lily was most likely heading to the library to join Remus at his study table that he had occupied since this morning. I cringed at my own behaviour when I decided to look for them. 'Im just making sure she's fine so I can focus back on my exams,' I reassured myself, 'Nothing creepy about tha-'

"Ow-!"

"Oi, Cec," Sirius greeted me gruffly, holding onto my arm until I steadied myself as he had bumped against me quite strongly, "Sorry about that. Didn't see you from the corner."

"It's all good," I replied, glad for the distraction as I straightened my robe and looked up at him. He seemed distraught, his hair unkempt and his tie hanging loosely around his neck. I would have guessed he had a good snogging session if it weren't for the sad glistening in his eyes. "Hey Sirius," I called softly as he fidgeted, already turning away, "Is everything alright?"

"Hm?" he looked over his shoulder, his expression carefully blank, "Yeah, of course. Everything is fine. Why?"

I shrugged, not wanting to point out how he seemed less than his usual joyful facade. "Just asking. Where you've been anyway? I thought we would study together in the common room?"

His face twisted into something akin to anguish and I furrowed my eyebrows. "I was with Reg..ulus," he said, turning away.

"Did som-"

"Look, I don't wanna talk about it," he snapped.

"Sirius..." He stormed off towards the portrait hole and I was left staring after a back for the second time this day. I felt the worry built up, sensing that something bad must have happened. Because, no matter how hurt or angry Sirius was, he was always very good at hiding it. Unless he was drunk or something major had happened. And since he didn't seem drunk right now...my feet started moving before my mind had been made up, walking back towards the Fat Lady and pushing every thought of James and Lily into the back of my mind. This was urgent, my platonic soulmate was in pain after all.

Stepping into the common room, I spotted the black-haired boy rush up the boys dormitory and steeled myself before following him upstairs, hoping nobody saw me step to left instead of the right passage towards the rooms. I tentatively walked down the small hallway I had never dared to step in in all my six years before, searching the signs on the doors for the Sixth Year's dormitories. Pressing an ear on one of the doors, I listened for any sound. Fortunately, there were some shuffles and the familiar voice of my friend cursing as he dropped something heavy. Just as I contemplated on whether to knock, the door swung up revealing Sirius, who had rid himself of his robe and jumper, holding a bottle of Firewhiskey in his hand and the other tightly wound around the door handle.

"What are you doing?" he asked, narrowing his shining eyes.

"I-"

"Just leave," he grumbled, his voice tense as he was holding back the tears that hadn't fallen yet. Dread filled me now as he rushed past me to the bathroom, shutting the door soundly behind him. Something was seriously wrong. This time, I didn't hesitate to follow him, pushing back the cringe at opening a boy's bathroom and peeking in. The room was empty except for one shower cabinet in the far back where the water was turned on, running at full blast.

"Sirius, I hope you are not naked, because I'm coming in," I warned, giving him a second before I opened the cabinet to find him sitting on the floor, drinking from the bottle of Firewhiskey as the water pattered down on him.

"Why can't you just leave me alone?" he mumbled, his voice thick and croaky from the burn of the alcohol, "I don't want to talk about it." He leaned his head back, closing his eyes as the water trickled down on his face and further, drenching his clothes.

"We don't need to talk," I said quietly, hoping he could hear me over the water, "I just wanna be here for you." And with that, I stepped in fully-clothed and closed the cabinet door behind me, sliding down next to him as I proceeded to get completely wet in a less than a few seconds. Sirius kept quiet, only raising his bottle to me before pressing it against his own lips when I shook my head, wondering which of the drops trailing down his face were from the shower head and which from his sorrowful eyes.

I wasn't sure how long we sat there but Sirius got up after what seemed like hours, clearing his throat as he lowered the water volume. "I'm...gonna get you the Invisibility Cloak so you can sneak out. Wait here." I nodded. "And don't turn the water off or someone might come in." I nodded again and he stepped over me, pushing the door open and disappearing from sight. I sighed as he left, trying to ignore the uncomfortable feeling of my clothes sticking to my skin. He came back after a few minutes with cloak and wand in hand, casting a Hot Air Charm over me as I got up and turned off the shower head. It was completely silent, but somber in some way as we proceeded to walk out of the bathroom with me under the cloak and him at the front. He held the door open, squinting to see if I had passed and I mumbled a quiet 'thanks' when I was out.

Nodding, he stepped out as well, shoving his hands into his pockets, having dried himself as well. "I will...see you around," he said, a softness in his voice and slightly slurring, "I'm just gonna head to bed."

I nodded before realising he couldn't see me. "Okay. Sleep well, Sirius."

"You too."

Turning away, I took a few steps when I heard Sirius whisper my name. "Cec, I- thank you. For being there," he stammered, seeming uncharacteristically unsure of himself. I wondered then, how many people he had shown his emotional side before. Guessing from what I knew about him, I would say it dwindled down to the four people he kept the closest plus maybe Regulus. It warmed me, that he now included me into that circle as well even if I kind of forced him to as I had followed him around. "Cec?" he called out questioningly, his grey eyes flittering around as he pondered whether I was still there or not. I quickly stepped back towards him, carefully taking his hand and squeezing it slightly. "You're more than welcome, Sirius," I whispered and his eyes softened when I raised my cloak to let him see me for a split second. "Good night."

"Good night."

Walking down to the common room, I noticed a considerably less amount of people were gathered around to study, mostly Fifth and Seventh Years. But Alice was still there and even Marlene had joined her, though her face rested on her notes as she drooled on them, fast asleep. Glancing at the clock on the wall, I noticed it was past nine o'clock. The thoughts of Lily and James that I had pushed into the back of my mind resurfaced and I swept the room with my eyes in search of either of them. There was no way Lily would have gone to bed so early on the last days before the exam and I briefly remembered all the times we had together to study until past midnight for our O.W.L.'s last year. 'Was she still at the library?' But the library had been closed for an hour now.

My stomach grumbled in that moment and the sound resonated throughout the otherwise quiet room. I blushed, despite the fact that no one could see me under the cloak, as a few heads raised in confusion. Only now did I realise how hungry I was since I had missed dinner and also skipped lunch earlier this day. 'A quick snack from the kitchen it is,' I decided, walking towards the entrance and out of the common room. 'And on my way I can make a short detour to see if Lily actually managed to convince Madam Pince to let her stay past the closing hours to study. Wouldn't put it past her to play the Prefect Card for this.'

Skipping down the stairs, I took the corridor to the library and found it entirely deserted. I sighed relieved, not knowing what exactly I was relieved for, as I turned away to head towards the kitchen. The halls were empty and dark, with the occasional light of the half-moon breaking through the tall windows and I breathed in the fresh air of a summer night, enjoying the peaceful silence as I strolled towards the kitchen.

But the peace would only last for so long.

I reached the corridor with the painting of the fruit bowl, fastening my steps as my stomach gave another protesting growl. Just when I was about to tickle the pear in the painting, anticipating all the good food the elves would cook in a matter of minutes, the door opened from the inside, nearly banging against my forehead. I stumbled back as the door swung to the side, revealing James. My heart skipped a beat in surprise but also at the sight of twinkling eyes that seemed unnaturally light in all the darkness surrounding us. Grinning, I grasped at the hem of the cloak, ready to spook him when he turned back towards the kitchens, engulfing his face in a warm glow of light coming from the big room.

A shadow crossed his features and he held his hand out for Lily, who was laughing softly as she took it, letting him help her out of the hole. "Thanks," she said.

"You are very welcome," James replied with a grin as the door shut close, engulfing us all in a sudden darkness. I blinked, squinting in hopes to see better as my eyes adjusted. For a second everything was silent before the two started walking. Biting my lip, I followed them before I could think about what I was doing. 'We are all headed to the same direction, I can't help it that I need to walk behind them. And since I'm not hungry anymore- oh, who am I kidding, I'm starving,' I complained to myself, cursing my brain for having the urge to spy on the two in all my insecure glory.

They walked in silence for a while before standing on the staircase.

"Thanks for the food," Lily spoke up as they waited for the stairs to stop moving, "I really needed it."

"Figures. You didn't eat anything today," James replied.

"How do you know that?"

"Eh," I could practically feel him blush as he stammered for an answer. "I just saw you and Cec studying all day, so I guessed that you hadn't eaten anything yet. Cec hasn't at least."

"Right," Lily said quietly, walking up the stairs as they stopped moving. I followed silently, watching the moon reflect on her brilliant red hair and noticing James did, too. "You know, I was surprised how you two suddenly got together."

"Hm?" James hummed, looking at his shoes as he stuffed his hands into the pockets of his robes.

"I mean, one day you were asking me out and the other you were suddenly hanging around with her and started dating," Lily said in joking manner and James chuckled along, though I couldn't grasp the joke in it. "It was...surprising, yeah," she ended awkwardly and the mood turned somber.

"Well, I guess it surprised a lot of people," James chuckled again, seemingly nervous as he ran a hand through his messy mop of hair. "But, Cec is great. She is amazing, really," he added, his voice turning steady and gentle, tugging at my heart strings. I felt a smile form on my face.

"She is quite great, yeah," Lily agreed softly. Now I felt bad for eavesdropping. 'You're siriusly messed up, dumbass,' I scolded myself. But I didn't stop. "I'm happy for you guys. It's nice to see Cec so happy and seeing a normal side of you."

James scoffed, "Normal?"

"What?" Lily giggled.

"What side of me has not been normal before?"

"I'm just saying, it's refreshing to know a side of you that wouldn't enchant cupids to read me sappy poems and throw pink glitter all over me," Lily recalled, laughing to herself as James blushed beet-red.

"Well, normal is overrated anyway," he muttered into his tie, smiling as Lily bumped her fist against his arms.

"I kinda miss it," she said and I noticed her eyes widen as soon as the sentence left her mouth. James' lips quirked up, his eyes shining. "Do you now?" he asked smugly, laughing as she slapped his arm.

"I mean," she started but paused. The mood turned slightly somber as she fiddled with her sleeve.

"You mean?" James prompted almost eagerly and I bit my lip, the tugging in my heart strings turning to harsh pulls.

Lily sighed, "It's nothing. Just, now that I know the 'normal' side of you, the one, you probably show to your friends and Cec...I think, all the stuff you used to do was quite endearing."

James kept quiet for a second. "You mean, when I endlessly chased after you?"

"All the things you did to ask me out. The cupids, the flowers, the sweets...," I distinctly heard Lily gulp as she stopped and turned towards him, causing him to falter in his steps, too. "I didn't recognise it back then, but it must have cost you a lot of effort and I think that's sweet..." James held his breath. "...and a little bit excessive." They both chuckled lightly before turning quiet, staring at the other.

"So, it was not for nothing after all," James muttered softly, almost as if he were dazed as he stared into her eyes. I clutched at the cloak tightly, feeling cold all of a sudden.

Lily cocked her head to the side, strands of red hair gliding over her shoulder like ocean waves. "Yeah. It did not get me to say yes back then, but..."

"But?" James pressed, taking a step forward.

Lily took a deep breath as if she were preparing herself for something, "But...if I had known this side of you before, I might have agreed. To- you know." I stilled, my tight grip on the cloak loosening slightly. James' eyes widened and I could see the elation spread through his face even if he didn't smile.

"To going out with me?" he asked breathlessly. Lily hesitated before she nodded. For a minute, we all stood in silence as James stared at her, dumbfounded. Lily's eyes flickered around as if she were scared to get caught. "Anyway, it doesn't matter!" she stated, too loudly for the quiet atmosphere, "I mean, you are with Cec now and you guys are happy."

"Yeah...yeah we are," James said, still in stupor.

"Yeah, so..." Lily gestured forward, turning to start walking again.

"But what if we aren't?" James spoke up, causing her to halt in her footsteps. My heart stopped.

"What?" she asked, looking at him over her shoulder.

It was James' turn to take a deep breath as if he were preparing himself for something, "What if Cec and I weren't happy?"

Lily furrowed her eyebrows. "What do you mean? You guys look besotted with each other."

"Yeah, that's the thing," James said firmly, determination flooding his features. "We look like we are besotted with each other. It was an act." I swayed slightly as if I had been punched in the chest. "It was just an act." It was just an act. The words seemed to echo in the hallway, pounding relentlessly into my eardrums as I stood frozen, staring the bespectacled boy.

"It was an act?" Lily asked incredulously. James nodded. She turned towards him fully in disbelief. "You were acting like you were together?!" James nodded again. "Why?"

"I was trying to show you a more civil side of me," he said and my eyes widened. 'Be civil' I heard my own voice resonate through my mind. I tried to keep my breathing even as my chin trembled. "I wanted you to see what kind of guy I am since you wouldn't go out with me. I wanted you to see the real me. How I would be if we were together."

Lily stared at him. "I don't even know what to say...," she trailed off.

"Since you appreciated all the efforts I put into asking you out, you could appreciate this as well?" James asked hopefully and I was starting to feel sick. It was just an act. Something in me shattered. I turned away, trying to shield the little, constricting organ in my chest from his words.

"But wait, is Cec part of this? How is she managing to pretend this whole time?" she pondered and James' face fell. Noticing this, she narrowed her eyes at him. "Is she pretending, James? Does she know about your relationship being an act?"

James tensed up, biting his lip as he glanced away and it was all the answer that Lily needed. Her emerald green eyes widened. "James...," she breathed in disbelief, "How could you do this to her?"

"Listen, Cec won't take it too hard," James tried as Lily shook her head in disbelief, "She knows it's nothing serious. We've grown closer, yes, as friends."

"I don't think she sees it like that," Lily responded and I chose that moment to walk away. Because she was absolutely right.

Chapter Thirteen

[itsjaywalkers]

laurie have you ever pondered on what jarty might look like in your boxer au. i’m just very curious about the dynamic between those versions of them in general (i wuv u 🫶🫶🐛)

SAINTS SWEETHEART HI <333

yes i have!! mostly bc they interact a lot in the fic and also bc of all the foursome talk there was about jeggy + rosekiller a while ago!!

james and barty hate each other with a Passion in the boxer au. it's raw and visceral and personal, even though there's no History between them. they didn't have a fight that made them become enemies or have some sort of diagreement. they just don't like each other, fundamentally

sirius and james also heavily dislike each other in this fic, but it's not as bad. they argue a lot but they can still pretend in front of the cameras, even if it can feel slightly strained occassionally. they're also Respectful when they get on the ring. sure, they taunt each other and fight with all their might, but neither of them plays dirty or breaks any rules. between barty and james is the complete opposite, they can't do interviews together and their matches tend to get cancelled midway through. that, or they both end up straight disqualified

i think they have more in common than they think, but their core traits or like . the strongest parts of their personalities clash very directly, and the personas they wear publicly kind of represent what they both hate the most??? like, james is arrogant to the point it's obnoxious, but he's charming and extroverted and loves having everyone's attention on him. while barty is also arrogant, but doesn't brag as much as james does, he's more reserved and . aggressive, doesn't do well with ppl and he doesn't give a fuck about what other think of him or about curating his image to appeal to the masses. james thinks barty is an asshole and not really a good person and barty thinks james is fake and hollow and a liar. but they don't actually Know each other

i have a hard time seeing them working romantically. i wouldn't say it's impossible, but it'd be . very complicated and frustrating and it wouldn't be healthy at all. they also wouldn't have a conventional relationship i feel like. they're always trying to one up each other and they fight over literally everything and james lets himself be controlled by anger way too easily, while barty, despite being sort of?? comfortable with conflict?? and enjoying chaos is a lot better at keeping his cool and getting the upper hand in that way. there would a lot of imbalance between them and that would drive both of them up the wall. both of them want to be in control at all times

that being said, there is a certain sexual tension between them. they hate each other so bad that it turns into Want sometimes, they just repress it or deny it to themselves, bc that's basically their arch nemesis, they're supposed to want them dead, not bent over a table you know?

if reg or evan weren't in the picture i feel like that sexual tension would remain unresolved for a lot longer, but they'd still fuck at some point. maybe even become some sort of twisted fuck buddies idk. they do have a lot of sexual chemistry, but they're both Proud and Stubborn so it'd be a long, exhausting process to get them to a point in which . they find their footing when it comes to sleeping together

evan and reg being there completely erases the possibility of their dynamic turning romantic, but it makes their possible Fucking more accessible?? surprisingly lmao. bc their respective partners give them the excuse to seek each other out (reg is down for either a foursome or a threesome, simply bc it's barty, and evan isn't actually interested but gets off on barty being turned on + watching him so he'd agree too). and having intermediaries would also help to keep them in check and aid them in finding how they can work while having sex aka barty tops, but they switch it a bit when it comes to dom/sub dynamics, since they're capable of both but have a clear preference to being the dom (that's another thing, until reg doesn't top james for the first time and he finds out he's actually very into it he would've never allowed barty to top him. that, or it would've taken him A While)

[msforbiddenforest]

OH MY GOD GUYS

Imagine Regulus confessing his love to James

like y'all now Regulus is just supeeer reserved and stuff, right? Like, he doesn't talk about his feelings and stuff and his father probably always told him and Sirius that showing emotions is weak and crying is weak so it probably took him a very long time to realize that his father is wrong and stuff because he always admired his father like y'all know.

So realizing that showing emotions is natural was a huge discoverment for Regulus.

AND THEN

our boy finally brings up the courage to tell James that he loves him and had been in love with him for three years!

And James is just so shocked because he would have never thought that Regulus even had ANY emotion inside of him.

and that he's in love with him

AND HE'S SO FRICKIN' HAPPY BECAUSE HE LOVES HIM TOOOO.

Sirius is also so proud of his little brother.

JUST IMAGINE JAMES' SMILE

and regulus would be like:

"what? It's not funny, james, I just confessed my feelings to you."

and his cheeks would go SO red

"no, no, no, reg! It's just that...I love you too."

And Regulus would just stare at James in shock

Like, he can't even believe what James just said

And then...

THEY KISS OFC

...

I know I'm a hopeless romantic and maayybee I ship Jegulus a bit too much but who cares anyway? They're amazing and you can't tell me otherwise.

lol...imma add something

Regulus to James when a bully said mean things to him and James is kinda starting to talk bad about himself as well:

okay that description was really detailed but I thought this would be so accurate.

[starsandmoonys]

The Black Brothers

This is Angsty as fuck. all the warnings, literally, at your own risk. but y’all asked me to post so here you go. 

***********************************************************************************

Okay, it’s more of a fic idea rather than a headcanon.

Basically due to the status of the house of black. I’d like to think that the black brothers had their own dorm in Hogwarts, a fully furnished room with two beds for both boys in the Slytherin dungeons.

Sirius was supposed to get sorted into Slytherin and stay in it, and the following year he’d share it with Regulus. But alas, that didn’t happen and Sirius got sorted into Gryffindor, stayed with James, Remus, and peter. 

The dorm was left empty till the next year when Regulus joined and got sorted, now only one bed. His own room with no one to bother him, just like back home. Except he wanted Sirius to be there. He couldn’t understand why his brother would abandon him like that.

Sirius understood what Reg must’ve felt like and started to sneak into the Slytherin dorms almost 4 times a week after his and Reg’s classes just to spend time with him.

He Showed up the first day of school after the sorting and found Regulus curled up in bed, crying. Regulus wanted to go home, he didn’t want to be alone. He was destined to spend all his school years in that room in a different house and he hated it. He hated every single second of it.

Sirius promised him that day that he’d always be there, whenever he can. He won’t let Regulus stay there alone. It would be like they’ve never left home minus Walburga.

They would help each other with classes, Sirius sucked at potions, and luckily his brother seems to be an honorary student in it. He would give Reg practical tips and training in DADA and Transfiguration. Talk about Quidditch. Sirius was more than proud when his brother got the seeker position in the Slytherin team. “You’d be playing against us, I’ll tell James to go easy on you.”

They would talk, play, vent, and cry about letters their mother sends (mostly to Sirius). Regulus gets a lot of nightmares. So just like home, he needed Sirius around him.

Sirius spent the nights there, in that room. He rarely slept in his own bed. The rest of the boys would question his absence, he told James and asked to borrow the cloak when he needs it to facilitate sneaking in and out of the dorms at night. 

They came out to each other one night during Sirius’ fifth year. Sirius was ranting about Remus, how he drives him insane, etc. When Reg jokingly said,” Are you sure you’re straight, Siri?” that’s when Sirius just looked at him and some sort of realization hit them both. “I’m gay?” “You’re gay!” and they just hugged. Regulus promised no one will ever know about it until Sirius is ready for that step. To offer insurance, he told Sirius that he doesn’t really think that he has feelings or has ever felt anything towards anyone. Both ways.

Sirius told him that he could be Aromantic and that if he is, that’s absolutely fine. It doesn’t mean that he lacks feelings because Regulus feels more than anyone he knew. And that he’s not broken. They just cry a lot that night. Each one with his own demons to battle. But at least they had each other.

Sirius stayed with Regulus 24/7 after the prank incident when everyone in his world seemingly hated him. Reg would read muggle books to him and beat him in chess. And sometimes let him win.

This routine happened during most of their years at Hogwarts, the marauders knew about it. McGonagall and Slughorn also knew but no one dared to argue with the boy.

Regulus was a priority to Sirius and everyone knew it.

Until the summer before the sixth year, when everything fell apart. Sirius ran away. He did it again. He left him. He left him again. He didn’t look back at what he was leaving behind, at who he was leaving behind. Regulus couldn’t get over it. He knew Sirius abandoned him again. He didn’t know how to forgive him. Why didn’t Sirius think about him? Why didn’t he take him with him? He felt like he didn’t really matter to Sirius that much. He chose the Potters, just like he chose Gryffindor all those years ago.

The first time Sirius showed up to his room during the Sixth year, Regulus couldn’t control his anger. He lashed out at him. “We’re not brothers, you’re not a Black. Now, get the fuck out before I call Slughorn” Called him a traitor. Not a blood traitor, he didn’t really care about those values, no, Sirius betrayed him. He broke the promise. He kicked him out. Asked to never have to see him again. Not even in the hallways. Despite all his pleas and apologies, Sirius left that dorm feeling worse than when he was kicked out of the Grimmauld place.

Despite all the anger that Regulus felt, he would never allow anyone to shit-talk his brother. He would straight up pick up fights with anyone calling Sirius a slur. He called Sirius brave for what he did. He didn’t hate on Sirius for leaving that wretched place and having different values. He looked up to him and he wanted to go with him. He can’t now, he was alone, with them, and a very dark future ahead of him.

Sirius never left though. Because he knew Regulus wasn’t okay, he wasn’t okay either. His friends were being great but he missed his brother.

Sirius borrowed the cloak every night, sneaked out in the middle of the night. He just hid under the cloak and sat on the floor next to Reg’s bed, for hours. He needed his presence. Just to be there. He cried a lot because he could hear Regulus having nightmares and he couldn’t do anything. He’d just kick him out again.

Regulus figured out what was happening later on, in Sirius’ seventh year. He never minded. He was awake. Sirius was awake. Each one just being silent. They just stayed there. No one talked. Sirius being under the cloak. And Regulus on the bed lying on his back.

It was Reg’s last year. Sirius wasn’t there. He left Hogwarts. Joined the resistance. He’s fighting for the good side. Regulus wanted to go to. He wanted to be part of the Order too. He stayed in that room, reading the letter his mother had sent him. He would be taking the dark mark. Nothing twisted his heart like that letter. He didn’t know what to do. He wanted to write to Sirius. He wanted him to tell him it’s going to be alright. But he knew it won’t.

Nothing will be alright. There is no turning back. He’ll be one of them and he’d be hated. Sirius would be ashamed of him.

He took it, he let the dark lord mark him, with his family around, celebrating him. Like he’s some kind of a hero. He wasn’t. He was the lowest of the low. He would look up to the sky and watch that certain star. “Please, help me” he would whisper. But he was never answered.

Regulus was writing the note. He knew was he was about to do. It was death. But he didn’t care. He believed anything would be better. He can’t live with himself. He wanted to burn it off, cut his damn arm. But then he would know and it won’t end well.

He figured since he’d either die this way or another. He would go trying to do something good. Just one step closer to the fall of the dark lord. He drank the potion with one person in mind. And was dragged in the water with one last thought. “I hope you’re proud of me.”

[awanderingdeal]

Never too late - 4 - 5

A continuation of Leo and Regulus' attempts (antics) to give Regulus the childhood he never had.

CW: All content warnings relate to Part 5: piercings and food talk

Please message me if you feel I need to add any content warnings

Rating: T

Previous and future chapters can be found on my masterlist

Credit for the sweater universe and the characters within it go to @lumosinlove. What a hero.

4. Take photos! Candids, selfies and posed group shots. They’ll hold the best memories.

“Merde, what are you doing?” Logan asked, resting his head on Leo's shoulder as he peered at the laptop.

Leo grinned, tipping his head back slightly so he could press a kiss against Logan’s cheek, “I’m getting inspiration.”

“That cleared a grand total of nothing up,” Logan huffed, circling the sofa so that he could flop next to Leo. “Oh my God, no. I thought I had deleted everything from back then” he groaned, reaching to close the lid of the device.

Leo swatted his hand away with a scowl. “First of all, I am offended that you never told me that you used to have bangs,” he gestured to the image of a young Logan on the screen, laughter bubbling in chest. “Second, I think you may have caught most yours, but you failed to check your tagged photos.”

Logan sighed again, apparently resigning himself to the fact Leo was going to trawl through the photos no matter what. “Is there at least a reason that you are torturing me like this?” he asked, curling into Leo’s side.

“It started off as me finding inspiration for classic high school photos to take with Reg, but now I’m just looking at how adorable you were at 14.” Leo chuckled.

***

“I want to be on the top!” James yelled, earning a snigger from Finn.

“No, Logan needs to go on the top, he’s the smallest and I’m not breaking my back for you idiots,” Kasey said from where he was braced on all fours.

“He’s actually very heavy. Like a tiny ball of muscle,” Finn said. Logan seemed conflicted as to whether he should be thanking his boyfriend or reprimanding him, the confused frown making Leo smile, but he figured he should intervene before a full on argument broke out.

“Maybe we should ask Regulus where he wants to go? These are his photos after all,” Leo suggested, turning his gaze onto the man in question.

Regulus threw his hands up, shaking his head. “I was coerced into this madness,” he defended. “But if I must participate then I want to go on top. At least then I don’t get squashed when this goes wrong.”

“O, yee of little faith,” Thomas scoffed, making a dramatic show of stretching his limbs.

“I’m retiring after this season, I’m too old for this,” Dumo groaned as he joined Kasey on the floor.

“You say this every season,” Kuny laughed, taking the spot next to Pascal and nudging him in the shoulder.

“Alright, Cap. I think you better go on the base too,” Leo said, laughing at the scowl he earned. It appeared that Sirius had been trying to make himself blend into the cushions in the hopes he might get out of the photo, but Leo wasn’t about to let him off that easily. “For Reg?”

“Regulus doesn’t even…” Sirius began to argue, but he was interrupted by his brother’s low chuckle.

“I have suddenly changed my mind. Come on Sirius, don’t be a spoil sport,” Regulus teased.

Sirius opened his mouth to start a rebuttal, but all that came out was a resigned sigh, and the man heaved himself to his feet, getting a loud cheer from the rest of the team. Once he had taken his spot, the rest of the pyramid seemed to form easily. James, Remus, Leo, Logan and Finn all climbed on, until eventually it was Regulus’s turn. With a little help from Timmy and Olli, the man managed to take his place at the top of the pyramid.

“Okay, Sergei, take the photo,” Leo instructed, feeling parts of the pyramid begin to shake.

“Which button is -” Sergei asked, before a semblance of a smile crossed his face. “Oh, found it.” Just as the words left Sergei’s mouth, Leo found himself tumbling to the floor, several of his team mates on top of him, a chorus of grumbling in several different languages erupting as they clutched various body parts.

“If anybody has broken anything, I am not explaining this to Coach,” Sirius declared, from under James and Finn.

“Did you at least get the photo?” Dumo asked.

“No, we need to do again,” Sergei grinned, a groan reverberating around the room from the rest of the team.

***

Regulus wiped his hand across his cheek so subtly that he nearly missed it, but the redness in his eyes was obvious.

“Are you crying?” Leo asked quietly, feeling the muscles 0f his forehead tense into a concerned frown.

“I’m fine,” Regulus said, blinking rapidly, shutting the scrapbook perched on his lap with a little more force than necessary. Leo had spent hours compiling the photos taken over the last few months into it: the forming a pyramid, two dozen or so polaroids taken at various events, a fair few with peace signs; the transition of Regulus slowly becoming more comfortable with the action obvious with each one, another was a take on the classic shoe circle only with hockey skates. Somehow James had snuck several selfies of himself into the mix.

“No, Reggie, what’s the matter?” Leo pulled the book from Regulus’s hands and put it on the coffee table, turning so that he could face his friend more easily.

Regulus shrugged, playing with the sleeve of his shirt, a nervous habit Leo had picked up on over the past few months. “I...I just never really had any friends in high school. It’s kind of hard when you’re taught to see everybody as competition, you know? So, I don’t really have any photos that aren’t stuffy family portraits or media shots. I didn’t realise that bothered me until now.”

Leo bundled Regulus into a hug, his friend making a disgruntled sound as he found himself pressed against Leo’s chest. “Just accept it,” Leo huffed, wondering how he had managed to find himself saddled with so many emotionally constipated hockey (or ex-hockey) players.

5. Find your style - change your hair, get a new piercing, buy a new outfit. Go wild!

“Hey, Reg,” Finn waved, mumbling through a mouthful of cheese.

“Harzy! Do you know how much that cheese cost?” Logan scolded, his expression somewhat more horrified than Leo would deem reasonable, “Please respect it.”

Leo grabbed his jacket, patting the pocket to ensure his wallet was inside. He rarely used his physical cards anymore, but it gave him far too much anxiety to rely on just his phone. “We’re leaving now. Try not to kill each other while we’re gone. It would be tragic to lose both of my boyfriends in one day,” he said, dropping a kiss first on to Finn’s cheek and then Logan’s.

“Bye Reg,” Finn waved again.

***

“Thank you,” Leo smiled at the cashier as he took his purchases from them. He looked down, noting that between the two of them they had amassed nearly twenty bags. Leo wasn’t usually one to spend money frivolously, but he had found himself swept away by Reg’s enthusiasm. Apparently when he wasn’t being stuffed into tight button ups and tailored pants, Regulus really rather enjoyed fashion. Finn would have been proud of the multiple pairs of trainers they had acquired so far. Still, they probably had enough for today.

Before Leo had a chance to suggest a change of activities, Regulus beat him to it. “Do you want to get some food?” he asked, the grumble of Leo’s stomach answering the question with no need for any words. Regulus laughed, “I’ll take that as a yes. Are you good to get Thai?”

Somehow over the course of filling their stomachs with curry and Pad Thai, an innocent comment about how Regulus would look cute with a piercing resulted in them walking into the nearest studio that had decent reviews. Regulus had changed into one of his new outfits: a loose black and white striped shirt, a pair of black pants cuffed at the legs and chunky white sneakers because his old outfit was deemed unsuitable for getting a piercing in.

Leo had just finished up getting his lip done, pamphlet of aftercare instructions clutched in his hand, and was waiting for Regulus to come out of his room. The boy had refused to tell him what exactly he was going to get done, and the anticipation was killing him. A few minutes later, Regulus pushed out the door to the small room and Leo’s eye was immediately drawn to the light catching Regulus’ eyebrow.

“Oh my God!” Leo exclaimed, wincing as the movement sent a surge of pain through his lip. “You look so good,” he added, moving to inspect the barbell peeking through Regulus’ brow.

“Thanks,” Regulus blushed at the approval. “Yours is cool too. Logan and Finn are going to freak out.”

“They sure are,” Leo chuckled. “Alright, I’ll settle this and then I’ll drop you back home?”

***

“I can’t believe I let you talk me into this,” Regulus scowled, reading the instructions on the back of the box of dye for what Leo was sure was the fiftieth time.

“I told you, you haven’t been a teenager unless you have made some questionable fashion choices,” Leo countered. “Except I’m going to look amazing with blue hair so it’s not really questionable.”

“Well, it can’t be worse than this anyway, right?” Regulus grimaced, gesturing to his bleached blond hair.

“Noughties boy band members would be jealous,” Leo laughed.

“It’s a shame it is neither the noughties anymore, nor am I a boy band member,” Regulus replied, shoving the box into Leo’s hands. “Just do it.”

A little over an hour later, Leo was nudging Reg in front of the mirror. “Okay, this was definitely not a mistake! We look amazing. I am taking up a career in hairdressing if I get injured,” Leo declared, holding his hand out for a high five. Whilst Regulus did return it, it was less enthusiastic than Leo had been going for. “You don’t like it?”

“No, I like it,” Regulus shook his head, dragging his fingers along the short sides. The cut wasn’t that different to what it had been before, other than a slightly more dramatic fade. “Just feels weird. My parents would die if they could see me.”

“Well, I think we look badass,” Leo said, running his hand through his own blue hair. He’d left the front long and floppy, deciding to go wild and undercut the back. “Come here, let me take a photo.”

Leo was glad that Regulus had finally learned that while he was not one to throw a tantrum, he did have his ways of getting what he wanted and it was easier for everyone if Regulus just compiled most of the time. The post had barely been up on their Instagram pages for more than 3 minutes when Leo’s phone began to vibrate, Logan’s flashing onto the screen.

“Regulus! Why did my little brother just call to tell me that he wants to dye his hair blue?” Remus yelled up the stairs as Leo picked the call up.

And if drug stores all over the country sold out of blue hair dye the next day? Well, Leo guessed there were worse trends to have started.

[loopsforlupin]

A Yes That Changed the World

      Sirius was sixteen when he decided he could take no more. Walburga and Orion were going to kill him. They were. Sirius was sure of it. His mother’s gaze was even colder then usual, and his father, well he had always just ignored his sons, but now Sirius could swear he had seen his father reach for his dagger that he always kept on him, only to stop right before he touched it. They were furious with him. No longer was he the silent lamb they could lead around by the rope, and force their opinions down his throat. No he was a Gryffindor, he was loud, he was opinionated. He spoke out against the dark lord, flaunted his friendships with muggle-borns and half-bloods, he proudly stated what he thought of the supposed “Dark Lord”. For every rebellion, he was beat. He was crucio’d. He was threatened with everything from disownment, to being lead before Voldemort himself for his impudence. Nothing broke Sirius’s will, made him submit to his mother’s cruel desires. Sirius’s body was in a constant state of pain, his cuts and bruises stinging and bleeding randomly throughout the day. Sirius hid how bad he was feeling. He’d give them nothing, couldn’t let them see his flinches, or how badly he was feeling with every step. There was only one thing that kept Sirius from leaving. 

      Regulus. How could he leave his baby brother with them? The tiny baby, who had been thought to weak to live, who had grown up to be a fragile toddler, who his mother had told him to protect. His baby. A tiny toddler with long black curls, who clutched Sirius’s robes and whose first word was “Siri”. Sirius had raised the boy. Had shown him how to walk quietly in the shadows, to avoid their parent’s wrath. Had taught him table manners by the age of two, so that their mother couldn’t sting his hands when he reached for the wrong fork. Sirius’s baby, who learned French and Russian, at the same time he learned English, because their mother had many French friends, and their father had Russian business partners, and it was only proper to be able to speak to their guests in a language they understood. Sirius’s baby brother who could recite the proper pure-blood etiquette word for word, and was the “proper son”, the “ proper Pure-blood”. Sirius had done everything he could to ensure his brother would never gain the wrath of his parents. Surely, now that his brother was nearly of age, surely Sirius could be selfish. Right?  

      It was late at night, long after his mother and father had went to bed, that Sirius finally recovered enough to leave. His mother had punished him severely for his “lack of respect”, because Sirius had commended his cousin Andromeda for running off. Because he had the gall to celebrate her marriage to a “no good, waste of magic mudblood”. Sirius’s cousins, Bellatrix and Narcissa and their parents had been over for a “Family gathering”. Bellatrix had mentioned her sister’s “plight into insanity” and lamented that a once proud member had fallen so far from grace. Sirius had snorted, and looking his insane cousin in the eyes, had stated that Bella should be well familiar with insanity. That hadn’t won him any laughs, and instead resulted in his current situation. His ribs were broken, and if he had to judge, based on the sharp excruciating pain emitting from his left arm, so was his forearm. Regulus had been sent to his room, and Kreacher had been instructed to ensure that the room was sound proofed. The demented elf was all to eager to follow his mother’s order, Regulus had looked scared, and almost like he was going to argue. Sirius shook his head slowly, Regulus didn’t look entirely convinced so Sirius mouthed: “Go, go!” The following couple of hours were mostly lost in the haze of pain. He thinks he remembers his mother’s cold laugh as he cried. His father’s harsh voice yelling hexes and curses so quickly that even Sirius’s naturally beater instincts were unable to dodge the colored spells coming his way. The punishment went on for hours, well into the night. 

      Now his body was yelling at Sirius. No more, it seemed to beg. He knew then, if he stayed, the next time they punished him, it would be his death. His own parents would kill him, and in his mother’s case at least, would laugh as he died an agonizing death. With every ounce of will he had left, Sirius forced himself up, and into his room. A flick of his wand had everything he wanted packed flying into his trunk which he shrunk and placed in his back pocket. He looked around one last time at his childhood room. The posters he had stuck to his walls in an effort to piss of his parents. It pleased him greatly that even when he left, his mother and father would not be able to entirely erase him from their home. Two pictures caught his attention, one of his friends at Hogwarts, their faces laughing and smiling at him from the wall. The other one a picture of his brother and him, when Regulus was younger, and Sirius was in his Hogwarts robes. His brother was clutching Sirius’s robes, his knuckles white and tensed at least to Sirius’s trained eyes. This was the last photo his mother had willingly included him in, and it was bittersweet, because Regulus was losing his brother for the year, and Sirius was about to puke from the anxiety of how he was going to be sorted. It was their eyes that Sirius noticed, both of their eyes were filled with fear. Sirius couldn’t help but remember how after they had hugged one last time, that Sirius had whispered in his baby brother’s ears to remember everything he had taught him, to behave to not make waves, to survive until Sirius was home again to protect him. Regulus had been scared but told Sirius he would try. Then Sirius had been a Gryffindor, had made friends for the first time in his life, had learned to have his own opinion, to think for himself. And from then on, Sirius was the enemy. Sirius wanted the picture, it may be the last reminder he every had of his brother. So with careful hands, he cut the wall behind the picture and stuck that in his pocket. 

      Sirius shut his bedroom door, and made his way to the door he knew almost as well as his own. He didn’t open the door, he stopped in front of it and debated. Should he wake his brother to say goodbye? Would Regulus try to rat him out? Would Regulus miss him as much as Sirius would miss him? Sirius was torn, he wanted to say goodbye, but he didn’t want to have the last memory of his brother being an argument. He had just decided to move on when the door in front of him cracked open. Sleepy slate grey eyes, peered up at him from the fragile face of his baby brother. Sirius didn’t dare to breathe. Regulus looked up at him, his eyes narrowing as he took in his brother’s attire. Sirius was wearing his favored leather jacket, jeans and his black boots. In all, it was his normal bike riding outfit. 

      “You’re leaving.” Regulus stated, his eyes slowly losing what little warmth had resided in the grey orbs. Sirius didn’t think he could physically respond, so he nodded; his head bobbing slowly just once. Regulus pulled the door open wider. 

     “Where will you go?” Sirius paused. He hadn’t actually thought it out to much, just ran on the instinct to leave as quickly as he could. 

    “Probably the Potter’s. James will let me crash for a day or two I’m sure. Then I guess I have to find a flat somewhere.” Regulus looked into Sirius’s eyes, trying to find something. Sirius was unsure what exactly his brother hoped to find, but he kept his expression sincere, he would not lie to his brother.  Regulus soon looked resigned, his face falling. 

    “I guess this is goodbye then. I wish you well Sirius.” Sirius couldn’t breathe. Here was his baby brother, who he had raised, and loved and taught how to survive their unloving and cruel parents, formerly wishing him well, like they were schoolmates who barely knew each other. And Regulus was shutting the door, his baby brother was going to close the door, and that was the last time Sirius would see Regulus. 

    “Come with me!” Sirius blurted out, his voice barely above a whisper, but his tone urgent and panicked. “Come with me Reg!” 

     Regulus stopped his action and looked at his brother. His protector. His sanity in a house full of shadows, abuse, and anger. The lion born from a pit of snakes, who roared his opinion, even when everyone around him demanded silence. His brother who took the brunt of his parent’s anger and hatred, and protected him, was standing in front of him now, telling Regulus that he was leaving, and asking him to go with him. Regulus was fourteen years old and he knew this was a defining moment of his life. If he said no, Sirius was leaving, and he would be alone in this hateful house. Regulus would have no brave lion to shield him from his mother’s anger, or to curb his father’s wrath. Regulus would most likely be pushed into becoming a follower of Voldemort. He would stand on the opposite side of his brother. Or Regulus could say yes. But what would happen to them?  No house? No family title? They would be starting from the very bottom, but Regulus would have his brother. Sirius would protect him, of this Regulus was certain. He was so sure of this in fact that Regulus found he had no good reason to stay. His entire family was in front of him right now offering to take him away from all the horrors in this house. 

      It stunned both boys when Regulus nodded his head slowly once. Then speed up as if he believed Sirius would change his mind and leave him there alone. Sirius’s heart pounded in his chest, and his lungs sucked in a greedy gulp of air. His brother said yes. HIS BROTHER SAID YES! Sirius wasn’t losing his whole family, he was keeping the most important part with him. Sirius grinned at his brother and pushed open the door to the room. Whispering for Regulus to grab his wand, and to stand back Sirius entered the room. He whispered a command to get dressed, and to keep one jacket out. Sirius began to prepare his brother to leave. A flick of his wand, had the entire contents of his brother’s closest getting packed into the trunk. Any lose books, quills, or papers also flew into the trunk as well as When everything was packed away, Sirius took one of Regulus’s formal jackets, and transfigured it into a leather styled jacket like his own. Seeing Regulus’s confused expression, Sirius grinned, the kind of grin that James and Remus would have realized meant terrible trouble. 

     “Trust me Reg, gets a bit cold traveling my way.” Another flick of his wand shrunk his brother’s trunk, which he carefully tucked into his brother’s pocket. Together to the two brothers snuck their way down and out of their childhood home for the last time. Neither of them looked back, the only thing they would have regretted leaving was beside them. Once they were quite a ways away from their old home, Sirius stopped Regulus, looked around to ensure no body was near, before he pulled a chain around his neck out from underneath his shirt revealing a motorcycle charm. With a tap of his wand, the charm grew and grew and grew until an oversized motorcycle sat in front of the brothers. A black helmet with gold embellishments, hung on the handlebars. Regulus gulped. His brother had to be kidding. They couldn’t ride this thing to the Potter’s! Sirius grinned knowing his brother’s thoughts based on his face. 

     “Come on Reg! Time to get going. Hop on after me okay. Make sure your trunk is tight in your pocket. Alright?”  Regulus nodded his head still shocked. Sirius went to pull on his helmet before he stopped. He leaned down and looked at the rocks nearby before grabbing one the size of his palm. Another tap of his wand, and he held a dark green helmet with silver details sat in his hand. 

    “Safety first Reg. Gotta have a helmet to ride Gryff.” Regulus put the helmet on, waited until his brother was seated before climbing on himself. He wrapped his arms tight around his brother’s waist. Sirius double checked that Reg was secure before he started the engine. It growled to life, before settling into a deep purr. Soon enough, Sirius and Regulus were roaring down the road the wind whipping their jackets and chilling them through to their cores. When Sirius thought they were well into the country, and therefore far enough away from prying eyes, he turned his head just enough to catch Regulus’s attention. 

     “ Hold on tight, now’s the fun part!” With no other warning, Sirius pushed a button on his handlebars, and suddenly the brothers were soaring into the sky. Regulus clutched him self tighter to his brother. Sirius let out a laugh, and took them higher, and higher until they were covered by a thin layer of clouds, for any muggle out and about at this time of night. They stayed in the cover of the clouds mostly, only dropping down for a second or two to ensure they were heading in the right direction. Sirius’s wand was occasionally pulled out and a “Point-Me” charm was used. They flew for a while, close to an hour, before Sirius yelled back to his brother again. 

      “Going to land! Hold on tight and lean when I do!” Regulus shouted back an okay, and the bike began to descend. Riding the motorcycle was different from a broom, definitely different from a broom. The descent took a little longer than their liftoff, but soon enough the brothers were lading in a secluded area outside of a beautiful manor house. It was gorgeous. Sirius pulled up to the gates, tapped them with his wand, and passed through them with ease. The pathway leading to the house lit up with their approach, little orbs of light lit up the cobble stone pathway. Eventually they reached the circle drive in front of the manor, where Sirius parked the bike. Regulus got off first, his legs feeling kind of unstable as he stood up for the first time in about an hour. Sirius also got off and stood up, stretching his muscles. With a grin, Sirius wrapped his arm around his baby brother and pulled him up to the steps to the grand door. 

    Unabashed, Sirius banged on the door. His face was bruised, his lips were split, but Sirius was smiling like a loon. His brother was beside him, and his other brother was behind the wooden doors, along with parents who loved and shared instead of shaming and hating. With a quiet creak the big doors were open, to reveal a tiny little creature with floppy ears. Sirius’s grin grew even bigger. He kneeled down and looked at the small creature. 

     “Master Siri? Master Siri hurt?!” “Wotcher Bindy! Think you can get James for me?” The elf nodded and popped away with barely a snap. Sirius turned to his brother, still standing awkwardly and sort of shivering, and flashed him a bright grin. Regulus couldn’t help but send a small grin back, they were together, and that was all that really mattered now. A minute passed before another small popping sound was heard and a shirtless, sleepy looking James was standing at the door, his wand pointed at them. His eyes were still sleepy looking but alert enough to be suspicious. Sirius situated himself in front of his brother, who was a little shocked to see the Gryffindor chaser shirtless and holding a wand on him. 

      “ What prank did I play on Lily Evans in second year?” Sirius grinned doggishly and stood up straight his posture relaxed and sure. 

    “You put a skin-color changing potion in her pumpkin juice, you made her a brilliant scarlet color but changed her hair to gold. Then you called her the Gryffindor Lioness for the next month. She hexed you twelve times.” James relaxed, and rubbed his eyes tiredly. 

      “Dammit Pads. What you doing on my doorstep at four in the bloody morning?” James looked at Sirius more closely, and seemed to finally realize that Regulus was there. Interestingly enough, he seemed to become self-conscious, reaching up and crossing his arms over his chest before acknowledging Regulus. “Uhh, hey Regulus.” An awkward little wave followed. Regulus grinned. Potter was an awkward dork. Regulus grinned and waved back over Sirius’s shoulder. 

     “Hey yourself Potter.” Regulus grinned like a shark, his teeth flashing white in the dim light. Sirius grew tired of being ignored as the other two dark haired boys looked at each other.        “Prongs, you gonna leave us standing in the cold?” That snapped James out of his stupor, and he sheepishly gestured them into his home. Both Black brothers sighed in relief, the feeling of warmth seeping into their bones a welcome sensation after the cold wind whipping at them on their journey. 

      James led them into the kitchen the whole way fussing over Sirius. He had finally realized that his friend was injured, and had began to act like a mother hen which he normally is. Sirius took all the fussing in stride, barely baiting an eye as James forced him into a chair. James called for Bindy, asking her to gather bandages, potions, and to wake his mother. Sirius did start to fuss at that last part.

     “Prongs! Don’t wake your mother for this. I can wait ‘til morning! Seriously Bindy don’t wake Mrs. Potter, I’m fine.” His voice was actually distressed at the idea of waking Mrs. Potter, causing Regulus to tense. Would Mrs. Potter treat them the same way their own mother did? Would she punish Sirius for coming to her home so late? 

    “Pads don’t be daft! You’ve got a broken arm!! I can’t fix that by myself. We need her. Bindy go wake my mother please.” Bindy popped away quickly, her own face worried as she looked at the Black heir. Sirius didn’t seem convinced, but he stopped protesting. His shoulders were still tense though, and his eyes shifted around to look at all the possible exits. Regulus tensed even more. Sirius had driven them here? With a broken arm? He had known his brother was strong, but this was next level of strength.  James having done all he could for Sirius turned his attention to Regulus. His eyes seemed nervous, but he stepped closer to him. 

     “Regulus, do you have any injuries?” James’s eyes seemed to stare through Regulus’s clothes, as if he was mentally undressing him, and imagining all the worst bruises he had seen on Sirius on Regulus’s slender frame. 

      “I’m perfectly fine Heir Potter. Sirius taught me to avoid their wrath from a young age.” James flinched at the formal title his eyes dulling even as a small smile flitted on his lips. 

      “Good, I’m glad you were safe. I’m also glad that Sirius brought you here. No body deserves to be left alone with those... those.... those MONSTERS.” James’s face made it clear that the word monster was inadequate to describe what he thought of the Black parents. Regulus just smiled, tilting his head to the side. James Potter was a strange person. He defended Sirius because they were friends, but why was he so concerned about Regulus? James seemed a little in awe from Regulus’s smile, meeting it with a wry grin of his own.

      The sound of the kitchen door opening broke the little spell Regulus was under. Mrs. Potter was a slightly older woman, but she moved quick as a whip. She was next to Sirius in the time it took Regulus to blink. Her wand was out and she was casting diagnostic spells. Her voice was slightly lower than his mother’s, but it was infused with a sense of warmth. She was muttering spells as she moved, and also fussing over his brother at the same time. Sirius’s face was an interesting color of red, as the matronly woman fussed over him. 

      “Oh you dear boy! What did that horrible woman do to you! You’re black and blue! And that arm! How in Merlin’s name did you travel here with a broken arm! You stubborn boy! You’re lucky you didn’t hurt yourself worse! Wait until I get Fleamont up, flying across the sky on that bike of yours no less! With a broken arm! I ought to to tie you to your bed for your own health! Between you boys I’m not sure who’s going to make me grey!” 

     James was laughing, as his mother was fussing. Sirius was a brilliant red color now, his eyes wide as he watched the matronly woman. He lifted limbs, and moved as she instructed. He barely flinched when she healed his arm, was practically motionless as she then strapped it into a sling to help. He did nothing until she was finished, and she planted a kiss to his forehead, when she moved he looked desperately at James, who was to busy laughing to notice his friend’s distress. 

      Mrs. Potter then turned her attention towards the only other boy in her kitchen. He was a slender thing. His hair not quite long, but definitely shaggy. His eyes were so similar to his brother’s only instead of lighting up with mirth, those grey eyes tracked her movements. She stopped about two steps away from him, her wand clearly in his sight. She noticed that while his face was unreadable, his shoulders had tensed and his eyes shifted to find his brother. He was scared. Unbeknownst to her, Sirius had caught Reg’s eyes and had nodded. She was to be trusted. 

     “Hello dear. My name is Euphemia Potter, but you can call me Effie. Do you need any healing as well? I can’t imagine our Sirius-” here she looked over at the still red faced boy with a motherly smile, “-Let anyone raise a wand to you. But you never know dear.” She turned her attention back to him. Her eyes were hazel like her sons, but where James’s were usually warm and full of laughter, her eyes were full of motherly affection. It was a sight he was unfamiliar with but his heart welcomed immensely. 

     “No ma’am. I’m fine. Like you said, Sirius never let me get injured.” Regulus gave his brother a shy smile, which his brother returned eagerly. Effie looked at Regulus with a mock stern expression. 

    “None of this Ma’am business. Effie I insist. Or if you really feel the need to be formal, Euphemia. Ma’am makes me feel old, and while I’m no spring chick, I refuse to the old hen.”  

      Sirius and James both chuckled, while Regulus grinned. 

      “Euphemia then. Thank you for letting my brother and I into your home. We appreciate your hospitality.” Regulus took her hand and kissed the back of it. 

      Euphemia chuckled, as she curtsied in response. 

      “My aren’t you a little charmer. Sirius! You could learn a thing or two from this young man.” Sirius grinned, his face finally returning to it’s normal pale color. 

      “Nah Effie, who do you think you taught him how to charm the ladies!” Sirius then glanced at James and muttered something under his breath. If Regulus had been closer he would have heard the muttered “And some blokes apparently.” But Regulus was too far to hear the comment that made James turn into a beet root red, but he was close enough to appreciate the way James looked when he was embarrassed. 

    Effie’s laugh tinkled in the room, making all three boys smile. She then called for Bindy to make some tea and some snacks for “her three boys”. Regulus and Sirius both perked up at being included, making James’s heart ache for how starved for family both young boys were. After a quick cuppa and a snack of fairy cakes, the three boys were lead up to their bedrooms. Sirius was placed in the bedroom he utilized when he stayed with the Potter’s for breaks, and Regulus was placed in the room across from his. James told Sirius he would raid his closet for a set of pajamas for the pair of brothers. 

       James returned from his closet with two pairs of pajamas. One set included a white, long sleeve shirt made out of a soft material, and a pair of sleep pants with little gold snitches on them. The other set wasn’t actually sleep wear, but instead was an old black hoodie paired with some grey sweatpants. To Sirius he threw the sweatshirt and sweatpants. He shyly held out his other offering.

        “Here. I don’t know if they’ll fit too well, but since you play quidditch I thought you’d like these. The other pairs.... are a little more Gryffindor colored. I didn’t think you’d appreciate wearing red and gold.” Regulus took the bundle of clothes, noticing that the clothes smelled like James. An interesting mix of spicy and cool, a pleasant mix of cinnamon or cloves, mixed with something citrusy, as well as something that Regulus couldn’t help but describe as warm.  

     “Thanks Potter. These will do great. Loads better than sleeping in a button down and jeans.” James smiled at him again, making a peculiar sensation take hold of Regulus’s stomach, and lower regions. Something to think about later he thought wryly. 

     The boys split up, with the Black brother’s changing into their borrowed clothes. They met up again in James’s room. Sirius, while smaller than James, filled out the clothes quite nicely, with only certain areas being baggy. Regulus however was basically swimming in James’s clothes. The drawstring on the pants, the only thing keeping them up on his slender waist. James upon seeing Regulus swimming in his clothes, had his eyes wide, and kept nervously biting and licking his lips. He also kept crossing his arms and uncrossing them as the boys chatted before bed.

    Regulus wished his brother goodnight, and turned to James. Looking up from under his lashes, he bid the Potter heir a goodnight, before thanking him again. James stuttered out a welcome and attempted to say goodnight as Regulus walked over to his own room. Right before Regulus closed the door, he swore he heard his brother say something along the lines of:

     “Merlin James, that was more awkward then you trying to flirt with Evans!” 

 To which he swore he heard James respond: 

     “ Shove of Pads! You’re no better when you try to flirt with Moony!” 

      As Regulus prepared for bed, he heard the other boys descend into a small argument, which consisted of various insults about the other’s inability to flirt, or their general lack of intelligence. It wasn’t until Euphemia shouted for them to settle down and go to sleep did they finally fall quiet. 

     For the first time in the twelve years that he could consciously remember, Regulus Black fell asleep knowing that when he woke up his brother would be safe, and they wouldn’t have to see their parent’s over the breakfast table. Sleep pulled heavily on Regulus’s eyes, until he fell into a deep slumber, where Regulus dreamed of hazel eyes laughing, a cheeky grin against tanned skin, and his brother’s infectious laughter surrounding him. It was the beginning of a whole chapter in their lives.