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#jamie really tried to Fuck It We Palm the reader
gourdkeeper · 11 months
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Love your Jamie Fics soo much!
Would you be able to write a fic about Jamie and Fem!Reader battling it out against each other at a Tournament at the local stadium?
Maybe reader wins, and things get a little heated in the locker room afterwards? :D
Thank you!!! And absolutely can do, this one was fun, reader and Jamie aren't dating in it but it was def not their first rodeo
Warnings: 18+, fem!reader, relationship is complicated, fwb (teacher with benefits?), jamie is a bitter sore loser but also very proud of his disciple, biting, marking, drunk sex, piv, jamie is possessive in this one
Sore Loser
Word count: 1243
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"You can almost cut the tension with a knife!"
The spectators cheer as the announcer hypes the match up.
You and your opponent both struggle to keep it together, you can hardly believe you've made it so far. You'll be hurting and putting ice packs on your bruises for hours after. Same goes for the fighter standing in front of you who is none other than Jamie Siu, your mentor, who's got blood dripping down his nose and onto his lips and chin, courtesy of a punch landed by you, of course.
The way you both move spacing each other and trying to read the next move is more akin to a dance than a fight. You both know that whoever manages to land the next attack will win thanks to the exhaustion.
Both of you have had five fights back to back before this one. What kind of tournament even does that?
Well, Metro City being Metro City you suppose.
Jamie tries to hit you by surprise.
"Aaand the brash peacekeeper makes a move! Is he desperate for an opening?"
The bottom of his palm brushes you just as you dodge right on time and with that you grab onto his arm and toss him over you. He falls flat on the ground.
"And the former winner of the Novice Tournament steps aside! Nothing goes by unnoticed by her aaaand there he goes! Thrown on the ground, will this be it? Will the novice fighter really take on and win against someone of this caliber?"
You know you won. Jamie is not getting back up, he's far too worn out, same as you, and you both knew, whoever would hit the other would take the win under their belt.
---
"FUCK-"
Jamie can't even express how he feels as he punches his own locker.
Under his breath he mutters to himself as he tries to make sense out of his emotions.
"I can't fucking believe this shit. She's my disciple. Mine. And I fucking lost to her." He kicks the poor innocent locker this time. "This crap was broadcast everywhere, how the hell will I move on knowing EVERYONE has seen me getting my ass handed over to me by someone who got trained by ME?"
He's furious. Then again. He's also insanely proud, you've come so far since he has taken you under his wing, but he's not pleased with how it turned out.
He hears you arrive at the locker room.
"What the fuck do you want?" He blows a loose hair out of his face.
"I just wanted to-“ you're cut off.
"To rub your victory on my face?!" He turns around, he looks like a mess. He's clearly been drinking since the match ended. "How the hell will I show my face in public after this?" He's walking towards you, gourd in hand and face scrunched up, clearly not pleased by any of this.
"S-same way you always did?" Your voice is small and uncertain as you step backwards, you didn't realize he'd be affected this badly and you feel bad for even joining the tournament at all. "I'm sorry, I- it was a really close match... It was amazing to fight you, I didn't kno-"
His mouth meets yours. You don't pull away. It's not the first time you've done this.
You reciprocate his kiss and you can feel his hand on your shoulder gripping tight as if warning you. Suddenly he pushes you onto the wall of lockers and dominates the kiss entirely. Tongue ravishing you, making you feel weak, imaging what else that tongue could do.
He breaks away from the kiss. Anger has mostly dissipated from his face, it's nothing but wanton lust now.
"How fuckin' dare you humiliate me in front of everyone," his words are sharp but his voice lacks malice "how dare you make a fool out of me... I'm gonna make you pay." He bites into your neck and sucks on the skin. He wants to mark you as his.
You feel the heat form between your legs.
"I'm so proud of far you've come... All because I taught you, and then I let my guard down and you do this? You need to be taught a lesson don't you think?"
"Huh-uhh!" You whine, god. Fuck. You need him. Was this caused by the adrenaline of the fights? Maybe but you need him.
"You belong to me. You belong t- to Jamie Siu, and 'm gonna show you." He's growling at your neck, possessiveness coming forth thanks to the drink. "Gonna make you beg for forgiveness. You'll know where you belong when I'm done with you."
His hands work at your waistband, grabbing both pants and underwear at the same time and pulling down leaving you vulnerable. You quickly wrap your legs around him and his fingers find your clit.
"You're so fucking wet, is this all for me? Are you so desperate to please your master? Maybe you should learn to be a better disciple huh?"
He starts rubbing you, showing no mercy. He wants you to lose control and he wants you to come for him, he needs a victory.
"You're so fucking pathetic. About to get fucked in the locker room... And here I thought you were a champion?" His teeth sink into your neck once more.
His other hand busy trying to free his dick.
"How badly to you want me inside you?"
"So bad! ...Jamie please!"
You're so terribly turned on by his behaviour. Maybe you should try and beat him more often if it leads to this.
He pushes himself into your wet folds, "Shhhh quit being so loud and be a good little disciple for me yeah?" He cups his hand over your mouth and bites at your shoulder. Thrusting in and out, keeping you pinned in place with the weight of his body.
"That's right... Take Jamie's cock, beg for more like a weakling and a loser... Come all over me."
He's working you fast, pumping in and out of you, you're overwhelmed, his dirty talk is driving you insane, his teeth on your neck, warm breath making you quiver, you can't contain yourself for much longer.
"Please Jamie...! I-“ you can't even finish what you wanted to say before you see white. Your body tenses up and he tightens against you. You're not going anywhere, he wants you to ride out the orgasm in full.
The locker room has been filled by moans and the sound of skin slapping at breakneck pace.
"That's right... That's my good girl, my good student... You're not taking any wins from me anymore from now on because you belong beneath me with my cock buried in you."
You're seeing stars. You know Jamie is close to cumming as well, he's far too sweaty and slurring the words, swears escaping his lips with ease.
He grabs onto your arms as he loses it. This is it, he can't take it any longer either.
"M- I'm so fuckin- p-proud of you, you're so fucking good- you take me so well" he turned to praising you as he comes undone and it riles you up again, your cunt still filled and now dripping with his seed.
His body limps and finally lets up on you. You both lower yourselves to the ground out of breath.
"Y-you good?" He asks you with an eyebrow raised.
"M-more than good-" you reply with a sideway smirk.
"God you make me so fucking hard, do you have any idea of how hard it is to focus and fight while trying to hide a boner? You're not fair-"
There's a knock at the door "PRESS INTERVIEW IN 5!"
You both jump out of your skin, you need to clean yourselves up and fast.
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buckyalpine · 2 years
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Can I?
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18+ Minors dni
Sub!Bucky x reader
The part 2 no one asked for. Did you ask? Not really. And yet here we are. 
Warnings: Mommy kink, sub bucky, breeding kink, lactation kink, 
Word count: 1.4k
The inspo for this
more here
Ever since you saw Bucky rutting himself against the bed, calling for his mommy, you’d been insatiable. You wanted to take care of your baby boy so badly but you didn’t want to bring it up just yet…you wanted him extra needy. Craving for you. Begging for his mommy.
A few months later
Bucky squirmed beside you, restlessly nuzzling his face into your boobs, unable to settle down. His wet dreams were becoming worse, soaking his sheets each night; he just wanted his mommy to take care of him, be so good for her, make her feel good.
“What’s wrong baby?” You cooed, your nails lightly grazing his scalp making him whine. You both locked eyes, Bucky’s wide, in shock at the sound that just slipped from his lips; yours clouded with lust. “What is it Buck?”
Bucky blinked at you with puppy like innocence, big blue eyes looking at you as he chewed his lip nervously. You couldn’t take it anymore, your sweet needy baby looked like he was going to cry.  
“Do you like it when I touch you here” You smirked, your hand snaking down to palm his hardening cock through his sweats, his hips immediately rutting against your hand.
“Mhmm” Bucky nodded, his voice was muffled from his face buried in your neck as he tried to hump your hand as you rubbed his boner.
“You know I saw you baby boy…”
“W-what?” Bucky immediately pulled away, his heart beginning to race 100 miles a minute, God what the fuck did you see. “I-
“I heard you” You whispered, pushing him back to lay against the pillows, your body splayed on top of him, your lips brushing his as you spoke “Saw the mess you made Jamie”
“I-I did’t-” He stuttered for words, cheeks deeply blushing, refusing to meet your eyes, his cock starting to leak, staining his sweats.
“You didn’t what baby boy, you didn’t want mommy?”
Oh fuck.
“You didn’t want mommy to take care of you?”
Please.
You sat up to straddle him, your panties pressing right on his boner, grinding down on him.
“Aren’t you my baby boy?” You rocked your hips on his throbbing cock; his hands flying to your waist to making you grind harder on him, desperately trying to hump you from underneath.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
“Tell me Jamie, mommy’s got you”
*****
“M-M-MOMMYY” Bucky cried out as you sunk down on his cock, having relentlessly edged his cock with your mouth, repeatedly pulling your tongue away every time he was about to cum. He couldn’t hold it in anymore, crying out for you, his balls heavy with cum.
Sweet desperate baby boy.
Your body bounced on top of Bucky as he held your hips firmly, forcefully thrusting up as hard as he could, he’d never felt so needy, he wanted to make you feel so good.
“Am I doing good mommy?” He looked at you with pleading eyes, his lip caught between his teeth as he whimpered, fucking you as hard as he could while trying not to cum.
“So good baby, you’re making mommy feel so so good” Your head was thrown back as he angled his hips to hit a deeper spot, you could feel his cock in your stomach.
“My cock is s-so deep in you mommy”  Bucky nearly sobbed, watching your belly bulge each time he thrusted in you, his eyes focused on the way his cock was slamming in and out of you. He took your hand, placing it on your lower belly as he continued to fuck up into you, making you feel exactly how hard he was railing you. “That’s my cock mama, can you feel it?  Its so deep, so fucking deep”
You moaned in response, your mind couldn’t wrap around how your baby was so subby and still so fucking insatiable. Your boobs bounced each time he thrusted and his mind went blank, thinking about how gorgeous they’d look in his mouth when he was all needy. How you’d let him suckle from your nipples. He could feel his cock throbbing, spurts of precum mixing with your arousal, dripping to his balls. He was gripping onto your thighs, starving off his orgasm because his pretty little mommy deserved so much more.
Mommy.
Fuck.
What he’d give to actually make you a mommy.
His cock got harder at the thought of you swollen, your baby bump, sexy full breasts, so full of milk. All the fucking milk he’d lap up, warm and fucking sweet. He thought about how good it’d feel to just bust inside you, empty himself balls deep, give you all his cum like the good baby he is, so much cum just for mommy.
“Mommyyy”
“What is it baby boy” You cooed, your thumb caressing his scruffy cheek as he looked at you with glassy eyes, his mind tormented, he couldn’t hold back any longer. You’d look so pretty with a little baby bump, all full of him, soft and glowing.
“I wanna get you pregnant mommy”
Oh.
“Can I get mommy pregnant? Please?” His little baby pout was irresistible, your walls clenching down on him, moaning loudly at his words, yes, yes, yes, fuck yes. “Let me get you pregnant mama, wanna cum, wanna cum in you, my cocks too hard mommy, there’s too much cum”
“I’m gonna cum Jamie” You cried out, guiding his hand to play with your clit, your pussy throbbing and fluttering around his shaft. Buck could feel that perfect spongy spot rubbing the head of his cock, throbbing, your orgasm immediately triggering his, there was no way he could hold it when you looked so beautifully fucked out on top of him.
“I-I can’t hold it mommy, gonna cum in you” His pace sped up, fucking you through your orgasm, chasing his own. “I’m gonna get mommy pregnant, fuck mama, please, please, please, I’ve been such a good boy mamma, please?”
“C-cum in me baby boy, come on Jamie, fill me” You cooed, softly cupping his face, your thumbs brushing away the tears that started rolling down his face, so overwhelmed by pleasure, nearly sobbing as his balls tightened against his body. You moaned, feeling his warm cum fill you, his cock throbbing and twitching, the swollen head of his cock rubbing against your soaked cum painted walls.
His cum was endless, gently thrusting into you as he continued to twitch, he didn’t understand how it was humanly possible for anyone to have this much cum. His fantasies were running wild as he filled you, your breasts bouncing against his face as your form started to give way from exhaustion.  
“Will you feed me mama, please?” Bucky was whining and whimpering under you, “M’you’re baby, mama, feed me?” Bucky grabbed you, stuffing his face into your boobs, his lips sealed around you nipple sucking for dear life. “I want mamas milk, fuck, fuck feels good”
“Too much baby” You fell against him, your body utterly drained. Bucky rolled you both over, still giving you shallow thrusts in your abused, cum filled pussy, a slow stream continuing to pour from the tip, cum squirting out of your stretched entrance with each thrust.
“No, no” Bucky whined, shaking his head, clinging onto you as you tried to pull away, burying his face in your neck, desperately rutting his hips into you,  “No mommy, stay, m’still cumming mama, cumming so much, it’s sensitive”
“Jamie babyyy” You rubbed his back as he continued to suck your nipples, falling deeper in love with him as he shyly peeked up at you through his dark lashes.
“Don’t wanna pull out, I’m still cumming, please mommy, it feels good” Bucky panted as he let his full body weight collapse on you, his cock finally beginning to soften.  “Wanna make you a mommy”  
“Do you baby? You want to make me a mommy?”
Bucky nodded biting his lip, unsure if he took it too far. You giggled, giving him a soft kiss before letting him lay back down, snuggled under the sheets.
“I love you” You smiled down at him, soft puffs of air hitting your skin as he cuddled into your chest, his cock still inside you. “My baby”
“I love you mommy”
He let out a little yawn, wrapping his arms tightly around you like a child clinging onto his favourite pillow. This wasn’t just a fantasy, fuck he wanted to make you a mommy so bad.
-
the fic that inspired this 
More from this 
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iwritefandomimagines · 5 months
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BLIND DATE — JAMIE TARTT
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masterlist
pairing: jamie tartt x reader
description: you and jamie never saw eye to eye. when keeley offers to set you up on a blind date and it’s him that turns up, you’re irritated. but you’re soon to find out that maybe she’s right… maybe he has changed.
warnings: enemies to lovers if you squint bc there’s not much angsty content it’s more implied, swearing, alcohol consumption, fluff at the end because that’s my mf baby
author’s note: i live and breathe enemies to lovers jamie tartt content so this is sooo self indulgent and fluffy ish at the end.
———
“You have got to be fuckin’ kidding me?”
You’d already been reluctant when Keeley Jones begged you to let her set you up with someone she knew.
Your best friend had been going on at you about needing to ‘get yourself out there’ for ages now — and the only reason you had given in to her request was so that she’d back off a bit.
But now, as the one and only Jamie fucking Tartt approached your table, your dress felt especially clingy and your palms felt especially sweaty.
“Y/N,” Jamie smirked, having always enjoyed getting under your skin, “You look fucking stunnin’, and really fucking happy to see me.”
You rolled your eyes as he sat down, “Why the hell would Keeley set me up with you of all people?”
Jamie pushed his hair out of his face, and you couldn’t help but take his whole look in as he removed his jacket and adjusted his shirt.
Okay, he may have been a massive prick — but not even you could deny that he wasn’t exactly a chore to look at. Just a chore to listen to.
“See, Y/N, I hear ya voice complaining,” he quipped, leaning forward to rest his chin on his palm as his other hand waved over a waiter, “But you’re still checking me out. Like what you see, eh?”
Before you had a chance to snap back at the walking irritant in front of you, the waiter was at your table taking your drinks orders.
A large glass of wine to cool your nerves would do nicely was what you had decided before he’d arrived — but now a bottle seemed more appropriate.
Of course, when you asked for this Jamie just smiled smugly, “Yeah, you know what? Me ‘n the lady will share. Bring us your most expensive bottle of Pinot Grigio, yeah?”
You tried not to cringe at his mispronunciation.
You sighed, sipping at the table water you’d already been brought as the waiter nodded and rushed away.
“Now where were we, love?”
“You were being arrogant, I was still trying to figure out how I’ve ended up sat opposite you… Just like old times.”
Jamie scoffed, “Oh no, I was simply observin’ that you checked me out. Don’t worry, love, I was checking you out too. Like I said, you’re stunnin’.”
You hated that he could so obviously see his words had affected you — a crimson blush immediately staining your cheeks as he quirked his eyebrow in acknowledgement.
“I can think that you’re attractive and still think you’re a prick, Jamie,” you shrugged, a small smile on your lips as he screwed up his face, “I do have eyes.”
He licked his lips, “See, makin’ progress already. Never admitted you fancy me before, but if it helps, love, I fancy you too.”
You scoffed again, “I said you’re attractive, not that I fancy you.”
“Same thing,” he shrugged, leaning further forward, “Look, I know you think I’m a twat, but I’ve been working on how not to be.”
You looked at him for a moment, not sure what to make of his words.
He’d always been an egotistical arse, always convinced he was God’s gift to earth, and his shameless flirting whilst also being an arsehole had always just grated on you.
You’d had some semblance of a crush on him once, almost admiring his confidence (and of course how gorgeous he was) but his attitude had led you to a prickling disdain for the man instead.
He knew he got under your skin, so he would flirt outrageously and nitpick at things you did and said to piss you off and rile you up.
Keeley had insisted he took the whole childhood ‘if they’re mean to you they like you’ bollocks all too seriously, but you’d brushed that off considering the fact that he was still very much lapping up any and all female attention he received elsewhere.
Given that you only attended events as Keeley’s friend, it hadn’t been hard to avoid him since — deciding that it wasn’t worth letting him get to you.
“So Keeley’s been saying,” you narrowed your eyes, “I know you flirt with, like, anything that breathes, but I’m surprised you’re not more disappointed by her decision to set us up.”
It was Jamie’s turn to scoff now, his eyes never leaving yours as you felt suddenly shy under his close watch.
“She didn’t set us up, I asked her to.”
You furrowed your brows, confused as to why the fuck he’d do that. Sure, he’d flirted with you before but you were certain it was just to piss you off.
“What?”
“I knew you didn’t like me, ‘cos you only know the old Jamie Tartt,” he pouted, and you fought the urge to chuckle, “So I asked her to pretend it was just some mate of hers she wanted to send you on a blind date with. Just to see if you’d give me a chance, ya know?”
You were almost touched by his words, but still remained wary about his intentions, “Why— what made you that determined for a date with me?”
He laughed, a big loud laugh that drew the attention of many surrounding tables.
The waiter returned now, interrupting you again.
He poured you both a glass of wine and placed down the wine cooler as you and Jamie thanked him whilst never looking away from each other.
“For the third time tonight, you’re fuckin’ stunning Y/N. And I like that you never took my shit back then. Just figured it was time to try me luck and see if ya’d change your mind about me,” if you didn’t know him better, you’d think he was nervous, “‘S why Keeley’s been talkin’ me up to you so much. She’s known I’ve had a thing for you for, like, ages.”
You were gobsmacked — not only by his confession, but the sincerity his voice held.
“Why’ve you not reached out sooner, then? I haven’t seen you in months, not since the last charity gala,” you bit your lip.
You remembered that night very well, given that you’d almost shared a drunken kiss with him until you came to your senses and left the party.
He only smirked again, “You remember the exact last time we saw each other, huh?”
“Jamie…”
“Alright, alright,” he raised his hands in defeat, “I was gutted you didn’t kiss me at that party, even though it’s fair that you didn’t. Keeley told me you deserved better than how I’d been treating you, but that she knew if I got me shit together we’d make a good couple. So I waited ‘til me shit was, well, together. And now here we are. With my shit sorta together.”
You were almost speechless, “Jamie— that’s, well, that’s actually really sweet.”
He rolled his eyes with a smile, “Glad ya think so, love. Been hard as fuck and I’ve almost called you a fuck load of times, too, but Keeley and Roy have been really good with helping and that.”
Now you were really surprised, “Roy’s been helping you work on yourself? Fuckin’ hell, things must have changed since I last saw you!”
Jamie laughed, pursing his lips as he shrugged and let out a breathy sigh, “He won’t admit it but we’re, like, friends now. Don’t tell him I said that though. He’d go fuckin’ mental.”
“Oh I know,” you chuckled, “But I hope you’ve been doing this for yourself as well, not just trying to change to make other people happy.
The smile on his face spread warmth through your chest, and you could feel the walls you’d built up to protect yourself from Jamie’s old self beginning to crumble.
Your face was lit with a smile now, a wide and sincere smile that you could tell boosted his confidence about this whole elaborate plan.
“Nah, it’s been good,” he nodded, “And you’ve never smiled at me like that, not even when we first met and you were trying to be nice before I fucked things by being all Jamie Tartt. So I’d say it’s, like, more than worth it, to be fair.”
Your smile only widened at that, and his matched it almost exactly.
“I don’t even know what to say at this point, but I’d be lying if I said I’m not actually glad I’m here now,” you bit your lip, maintaining steady eye contact with him and placing your hand on the table.
He was quick to place his own hand atop yours, “‘M really glad to hear it, Y/N. Can we treat this like a fresh start or whatever? Like a real blind date? Want to show you I’ve changed properly, that I’m a new Jamie.”
You giggled, poking your thumb out to rub the back of his hand with it, “Sure. I’m Y/N Y/L/N, and it’s nice to meet you. Sorry if this is forward but you look really good tonight, stranger.”
He beamed like a proud child at those words, “Jamie Tartt. You look fuckin’ phenomenal, Y/N. Since we’ve like, never met, this might be weird,” you rolled your eyes with a laugh at how seriously he was taking the starting over thing, “But I hope this ain’t our only date.”
“Play your cards right, Jamie Tartt, and it won’t be,” you smiled, standing up and leaning over to press a soft kiss to his cheekbone.
“Because, and I can’t believe I’m saying this, I hope it isn’t either.”
———
eeeee i hope you enjoyed that, i love jamie tartt a ridiculous amount so couldn’t help myself ! here’s my masterlist if you want to read more of my jamie fics or any of my other stuff!
also kinda feeling a part two where you’re secretly dating and turn up to a richmond squad event with him? let me know if u would like that!!!
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mustainegf · 17 days
Note
Hi could you do something where black album era James and a fem reader go to a party but they grow needy so they go to the bathroom
I love this stuff and it was so fun to write, I also have a fic really similar to this one so I’ll link it here :)
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The party bustled loudly, and despite the noise, my brain was buzzing with a tension of its own. My boyfriend James, stood across the room with a friend of his, paying me a flirty glance every so often, followed by him adjusting the bulge in his jeans.
Every time he tried to hide his horniness, the flutter between my thighs inscreased.
There was a silent understanding between us. I knew he was horny, and he knew just as well that I was too.
I could see it in his eyes-the way he was looking at me.
The lust. It was simmering right under the surface, waiting for an excuse to explode. And that was exactly what we both wanted.
I glanced at the handsome man, quirking my head to motion to the bathroom.
He gave me a wink, and then nodded. I smiled and sat up from the couch, quickly moving to the bathroom, swaying my hips to tease him.
I snuck into the washroom. James wasn't far behind me, glancing around to make sure nobody noticed before slipping into the small space with me.
He pushed the door shut with a little more force than necessary, making it clear he had been longing for this moment all night.
Ache flicked the lock, sealing us in here together.
"Jesus Christ, you look sexy," James muttered before crashing his lips onto mine.
My back hit the door as our kiss turned desperate, but neither one of us cared. We didn't care about anyone or anything except each other, and that made everything else feel so damn good.
James pulled away, breaking the kiss with a soft groan. "Fuck, I can't wait much longer." His hands trailed down my stomach, coming to rest on my ass.
It wasn't long before we were violently stripping each other down.
James grabbed me with abandon, Liston game and sitting me up on the small sink counter.
Our eyes met again, this time a silent promise passed between us. This is it. No turning back.
We both knew this. Our lips crashed against each other once more, tongues tangling together. One hand gripped my waist while the other trailed up my side, until it found my breast.
Then he kneaded it gently, squeezing it lightly. My breath caught in my throat as he toyed with my nipple with his thumb and index finger. His touch was rougher than usual, but that only spiked my desire for him.
I ran my nails down his chest, loving the scratch of his hair against my palms. As soon as I touched his cock, I felt him twitch. He moaned softly.
I loved how responsive he was to me. I couldn't help but take advantage of it.
I stroked him up and down, not caring that I was sitting up on a random small sink. All I cared about was how good this man made me feel.
"I can't take it, I need to be in you."
He looked like he was going to tear apart if I didn't let him inside me. I was so close myself. The urge to have him was too strong to ignore any longer.
"Then do something about it," I taunted.
"You want this, don't you?" he growled, pulling his cock out of my hand. I nodded. "Yes." He slid in slowly, filling me completely. I leaned back, enjoying the feeling of fullness.
"Jamie!" I yelled, grabbing his shoulders. James was quick to press a finger to my lips. "Gotta be quiet, can you do that for me?"
I nodded. "Yes." He pounded into me hard and fast, making my legs tremble. The hard smack of our bodies filled the tiny space, but it did nothing to cover the moans and grunts we both let loose.
"Tell me how much you love it, use your words, I wanna hear that pretty voice," he demanded, the room filling with wet and obscene sounds.
I could hardly force out any sort of sentence. "L-love it." I huffed. "Come on, you can do better than that."
James sucked a breath through his teeth as J tightened around him. "Let me hear you." He demanded again.
"I love it... Jamie... I love it." He slammed into me harder and faster, using the counter and my hips to hold himself up.
I screamed, holding on for dear life. In response, he pressed his lips to mine and started humming, moving his body in tune with the sound. I was drowning in sensations, so many of them, Ilost control.
I clawed at his arms, trying desperately to get closer to him. He moved his lips from mine and whispered, "That's it, babyy."
He continued to whisper filthy things in my ear, telling me how good I was, how I felt so damn good wrapped around him. The wet sounds of sex echoed through the small space, creating a cacophony of noises.
I could barely think straight. The haze of pleasure was growing stronger by the second.
"Cum for me baby, I'm so close.." James groaned in my ear.
Instinctively, I wrapped my arms around his neck, holding him close as he pumped a few more times Until we were both writhing with our climax. I felt him shoot his cum deep into me, painting my insides.
We sat in silence for a minute or two, just breathing. Ilaughed softly, kissing James' cheek.
"Fuck, I can't believe we did that.."
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babytarttdoodoo · 10 months
Note
The team somehow find out about what Jamie’s dad did in Amsterdam and are horrified/furious.
I’m skipping ahead to write this one because it won’t leave my brain alone. I apologise to all readers for the pain this is about to inflict.
If it makes you feel better, I am not okay after writing it.
It will also be in multiple parts since I really feel like the Reveal and the Reaction are things that need separate room to breathe.
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 (pending)
(Prompt Fill Masterpost)
It came down to the timing, really.
Every locker room Jamie had ever been in had worked its way around to this topic sooner or later. Especially in the Academy, where the typical teenaged obsession with ‘who had done it’ reigned supreme.
Jamie had never had a problem with it. He’d shrugged or laughed or lied and no one ever called him out. He was Jamie Fucking Tartt, after all.
He’d never had to breathe a word about Amsterdam.
Telling Roy had been a spur of the moment decision, and one that hadn’t really bothered him at the time. It hadn’t fundamentally altered their friendship or made Roy tiptoe around him (thank fuck).
But his reaction - Jesus. Must have been traumatising. - had played on Jamie’s mind. So much so that when his talks with Dr Sharon had broached the subject of ‘intimacy’, he thought it was probably worth bringing up.
Yeah. That conversation had gone a bit differently.
And now, here Jamie was, two days into processing his freshly unpacked trauma and his teammates were cheerfully regaling each other with stories about losing their virginity.
Fan-fucking-tastic.
“It was my last night before flying out here.” Sam was telling the group, a sweet, bashful smile on his face.
“Didn’t know you’d had a girlfriend back home.” Isaac chimed in.
“We had already decided to break up, instead of doing the whole long-distance thing,” Sam explained. “It was a nice way to say goodbye, though.”
There was a general sound of agreement and Richard took the opportunity to launch into a questionable story about charming a runway model at the ripe age of 17.
Jamie just continued getting changed in silence, letting the voices wash over him and trying not to let the sudden nausea show on his face. Removing his jersey felt like a Herculean task when all he wanted to do was get the fuck out of here.
Sam’s experience sounded like something out of one of Ted’s rom-coms. That was good. That’s what someone as nice as Sam deserved.
What had Jamie deserved, then?
He quickly cut off that line of thought. He didn’t want to do this. He didn’t want to think about it. Not here. Not now.
It was like trying to cover up an open wound when everyone else had a morbid impulse to poke at it.
A ripple of laughter pulled him back to the room and set his teeth on edge. He pulled a fresh shirt over his head and tried to breathe through the swelling, pulsating anger and shame that threatened to surface.
It was utter bullshit. He hadn’t thought about what had happened with anything more than vague disgust and detachment for years. A whole decade, even. Fuck Dr Sharon and Roy and all these giggling idiots for changing that.
“Oi, you’ve gone quiet, Jamie.”
A few curious eyes turned in his direction and the only thing that stopped him from shrinking away was years of playing at being untouchable.
Instead, Jamie scoffed and plastered on a smile, hiding his fists in his clothes and digging his nails as deep into his palms as they would go. “Eh, a gentleman never tells, mate.”
But he had hesitated a second too long and he saw the potential for mischief light up in a few faces. They knew him too well, he realised, the knowledge churning in his gut.
He wasn’t Jamie Fucking Tartt here. He was just Jamie.
“You are not a gentleman.” Richard stated bluntly, eyebrows raised and a grin playing at the corners of his mouth.
“That is true.” Jan agreed, because of course he fucking did. “You have bragged many times about being with women.”
“What happened, amigo?” It wasn’t fucking fair that Dani sounded so genuinely interested.
“Maybe she didn’t like his pink pants.” Isaac threw in and it drew another round of laughter. The noise echoed in Jamie’s head.
He knew, he knew they were just teasing because they didn’t know better. They were being dickheads because they were always kind of dickheads to each other. It was banter. On any other day it would be fine.
His neon underwear had nearly caused a riot the week before and it had been hilarious.
Why couldn’t he just act like it was funny now?
“It’s none of your fucking business.” he finally managed, not quite keeping the harsh edge out of his tone. He turned away and pretended to be looking for something in his bag so he wouldn’t have to meet anyone’s eyes.
“C’mon, mate, can’t be more embarrassing than mine.” Colin added easily, utterly comfortable with the conversation, in spite of all the implications it had for him specifically. Jamie really fucking admired that.
He was ridiculously, fiercely envious of it.
“Guys, he doesn’t have to talk about it if he doesn’t want to.” Sam admonished lightly. He was offering him a liferaft and it rankled at Jamie in all the wrong ways.
He didn’t need fucking saving. He wasn’t some soft, delicate little thing that needed Sam Obisanya of all people rushing to his rescue.
Suddenly, he was speaking without having made any conscious decision to do so.
“14.” Jamie’s voice was too loud, too sharp in this safe space that on any other day felt like home. But his fingers were clenching and unclenching, and his shoulders were coiled tight, and there was a rushing in his ears.
The vitriol pooled like acid on his tongue and Jamie couldn’t help but spew it out before it began to eat him away.
“I were 14.” He smirked and it felt wrong. It felt cruel and bitter. He rounded on Colin and relished in the flicker of unease that crossed his face. “No fucking idea how old she were but I can tell you how much my dad paid for her to fuck me straight.”
The silence should have been oppressive, he thought distantly. The way the air stilled should have made it hard to breathe. The colour leaching from not just Colin’s face, but Jan’s and Richard’s on either side, should have been concerning.
It just felt freeing, in a twisted, emptying sort of way.
“Jamie-”
“No! No, it’s alright!” Jamie turned wild eyes and a manic grin on Sam, finding it abstractly funny that the younger player took a step back. “You wanted details, right?”
He shrugged, looking around at the slack faces of his teammates. He’d moved forward, he realised, making himself the centre of attention. Typical.
“Tell you what, yeah? Next time we’re in Amsterdam, I’ll take you all on a little tour. Don’t remember her name but I’m pretty sure I could find the place again, no problem.”
And he probably could. He remembered his dad talking to some bloke smoking in a doorway while Jamie stood in the rain, confused. He remembered loud people and neon lights all around. He remembered how the place had smelled when he’d been pulled inside…
Someone else was saying his name now. He didn’t care. He just got louder.
“You wanted a show, didn’t you Thierry? We could put on a repeat performance. Play-by-play reenactment, ‘cept you’ve got to think I can do better now, right? Better with age and all that.”
Arms closed around him from behind and whatever vile shit he was about to spray out into the atmosphere died in his throat. Jamie’s entire body bucked, trying to break away.
“Fuck off!”
It didn’t sound like his voice, a screeching snarl that cracked partway through.
“Jamie.” Roy’s voice in his ear. Roy’s arms around his chest. “Jamie. Stop. Don’t make it worse.”
And what response was there to that except to laugh? Fucking hilarious, that one. Too little too fucking late.
Jamie only registered that he was being half pulled, half carried out of the locker room when the laughter started to hitch in his chest. When the air wasn’t coming like it was supposed to. When Roy manhandled him into an office chair and the tears started in earnest.
All the fight went out of him like a marionette with its strings cut and he just cried.
(TBC)
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luveline · 2 years
Note
smutty sunday thing- what ab james accidentally making reader cry bc it feels so good (like good tears) but he doesn’t realise and he gets rlly concerned
SMUT 18+ ONLY MINORS DNI (cw p in v, tears, praise, r is overwhelmed but having a good time) ♡ fem!reader
You rub your face into the damp pillow underneath and try to breathe properly. James, his weight heavy above you, pauses to help you move your arms so you're resting on your elbows. 
"Is that better?" he asks. 
Afraid to use your voice and give away your current predicament, you nod voraciously, and are pleased as punch when he starts to move again. 
You've never tried this position before and it's a real doozy. James presses down on you heavily, smushing you into the bedsheets with his legs between yours and encouraging your thighs that little bit wider as he thrusts in. The curve of his cock rubs up against something sweet for the hundredth time and you sniffle aloud, overwhelmed by pleasure. 
Deep-seated, James stills. He works his hand under your cheek and turns your face gently to the side so you can see him in one eye. He doesn't look very happy. 
He looks horrified. 
"What's wrong?" he asks, a short fall from incredulous. "Sweetheart?" 
He pulls out and you whine under your breath, panting as you say, "Don't stop, James." 
"You're crying your eyes out." 
You blink to discourage another round of tears, looking up at his figure blearily. His handsome features warped by worry, James takes the brunt of his weight off of your back and kneels beside you, leaning down so his face is level with yours. 
"Was I hurting you?" he asks quietly, bringing his big hand to cup your face. 
You move reluctantly out of position and onto your side, hips and chest aching and your cunt sorely missing his attention. 
"It felt really good," you say. 
He wipes at your tearstained face. "Then why are you crying? You can be honest with me." 
"I am being honest," you sniff. You sound almost bratty, and you're kind of feeling it. Going from some of the best pleasure of your life to nothing so quickly is irritating, but you quickly tamp it down. It's not James' fault, he's just checking in. "I'm serious, Jamie, it's amazing. I didn't mean to start crying, it's just…" you turn your face into his hand as much as you can, his palm eager to receive you. "It's really nice to feel you pushing in on me." 
He smiles. There's relief, bemusement, and a certain amorous twist to his words as he says, "You're fucking precious." He kisses your cheek, hands moving to rub the back of your neck. He pulls away just enough for you to see his eyes, his breath hot on your skin. "You like feeling all my weight on top, huh? Pinning you down, is that it?" 
You hum. "Mh-hmm." 
He presses a firm kiss to your lips. "I'm okay to do it again?" he asks. 
"Yes, please." 
He pushes your back so your chest is flat to the mattress again and eases himself on top. You can hear the wet sound of his hand tugging his cock, shivering when he finally pushes back into your heat. He makes a thoughtful sound, grinding down into you, the scratch of his slick-wet curls against your cunt setting you aflame. You whimper and lift your hips to force your hand between your legs, fingers searching for your swollen clit. 
James pulls back and rocks in hard, his thighs slapping your thighs, the pleasure a dull ache that shoots up your abdomen. You mewl wetly, entirely wrecked. 
He rolls his hips and drops his face into the back of your neck. "You'll tell me if it gets too much? Please?" he asks. 
"Yes," you agree breathlessly. 
He kisses the side of your throat slowly. "You're so fucking pretty, even covered in tears," he murmurs. "So pretty. You hear how wet you are, angel?" He pushes in slowly. "You're practically crying on my cock." 
You laugh. A little surprised, a lot excited. "Please, James," you say, needing what you'd had before. The unrelenting pace, the crushing feeling. 
Like he can read your mind he bears down on you and chuckles as well. "Anything you want," he promises. 
"Want it harder," you whisper, flushed in heat.
"What was that? Can't hear you over your sniffling, babe." His amusement is unmissable.
There's your James – insufferable. He snaps his hips into you and you forget all about it. 
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indouloureux · 2 years
Note
basically you and Joseph are good friends since being cast together on s4. he comes over to your sleeping place one day, and asks you on advice on telling a girl he's known for a while that he likes her. little does oblivious reader know that the girl is us👹. basically you give him advice (choice), and he thanks you and walks out. in legit a minute he walks back into your house and does the thing you advised him to do.
I apologize for the crappy writing, I thought this scenario up at 3 am
THIS IS REALLY FUCKING CUTE SUKSJSKSJS
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when he asked if he could come over and "hang out," you don't expect him to be standing like a lost, nervous child in front of you, with his hands on his sides and head ducked low, eyes on his gently tapping feet.
"what's up?" you say, cautiously, like one wrong word and he'd snap into something preternatural.
joseph's head lifts, wide and glossed with nervousness. he offers you what is a forced smile, laughing dryly before he sits on the couch beside you, patting his sweaty palms onto the denim of his jeans. so wet that they'd grown darker than their usual color.
"so, um, i need...advice," he begins, scratching the hair behind his ear. "it's um- relationship. related."
your heart drops to your feet, shattering on the carpeted floor because it didn't need the porcelain tiles to break it's structure. like a film reel does imaginations of joseph with someone else flip like a lugubrious flashback, but you manage to put a feigned surprised smile on your face.
"oh!" you raise your eyebrows. "tell me."
"i want to, um, ask this girl out," he laughs nervously, almost too forced like he's reliving a faux pas inside his head. "she's um, i think you know her."
"well, i hope i do," you match his de rigueur smile, top teeth poking out between your two pink lips to at least show him how genuinely happy you are. and you really are. really, really fucking happy. "because then it'll be easier to know if they'll treat my friend right."
friend friend friend
fucking friend.
"hah. well, um, she's really close with us," joseph's looking at your lap, hand stops scratching the spot behind his ear to gesticulate into the air. "she's, er, really nice. very kind. humor is out of this world. i really think she's the only person who can make me laugh hard other than my dad and, well, jamie."
you bite the scream that tries to escape, maybe you're even trying not to strangle him at the mention of some different girl making him laugh harder than you do. "what else?"
"she makes these, like, pastas that taste horrible but somehow i still love it because, well, she made it," he smiles, shoulder's relaxing into a slump. "we like to— she indulges in all my food tomfoolery. she listens like, like i'm the most important person in the world and...she's the only person who can truly understand me."
you wonder what his words could break if your heart's already broken down his feet. maybe its your lungs, the way the pain tightens the passage and hinders air coming through. or your stomach and the incessant pit that's forming down there. maybe your fingers as you clench them tightly to stop yourself from harming anything.
because after all this time, you thought you'd been that person he's talking about. turns out you were just delusional — your naive self grasping onto the hope that he might have felt the same, when in reality that hope's linked to a chain that leads into a void; where you wish you could fall into than fall for him endlessly despite the pain.
"that's, that's great, jo," you swallow the thorns around your throat, clearing it off. "w-what's the advice again?"
"i wanna ask her out."
"great!" you scratch your eye, joseph watching right on the corner of your vision. "um, well, obviously you have to buy her flowers. or something that she likes, like chocolate? maybe, if she wants that. then knock on her door and ask her out because asking someone over text is just really lazy."
joseph nods, taking a huge puff of breath, the slapping of his hands on his knees snapping you out of your miserable daze. "smart. great thinking. you're really smart, love."
before you say anything, he's pressing a quick, burning kiss on your temple, the aftermath of his fire still sizzling on your skin. he stands up as well, crossing over the carpeted floor in quick strides that by the time you had registered what he's done, he's already putting his coat on.
"wait, where are you going?"
"i'm gonna ask her out."
"today?" he nods. "i thought we were gonna hang out?"
"i'm sorry but i just, really need to do this," he gives you a sad smile. you stand up from the couch, joseph spraying alcohol on his hands before he twists the doorknob. "i'll see you tomorrow, though!"
the word stutters in your mouth, useless when he disappears behind your door. the loud slam is what opens the faucet, unknown to you that there's tears already dripping down your cheeks.
you drown in the sink of self-pity, bottom lip wobbling and sniffling the snot that drips down your nose as you sob, heart broken by someone who wasn't even your boyfriend.
feet dragging across the floor, they lead you to the kitchen where you take out a pint of ice cream — pistachio, the only one you have, which is very ironic. your hands reach for the wooden handle of the kitchen drawer, taking out a spoon for you to take the sorbet into the silver cutlery and eat the dejected ice cream.
but then the door knocks, and you accidentally choke on a sob as you take your ice cream with you, mind believing that it's impossible that it's him because his urgency to leave was quite obvious he was never coming back until tomorrow.
you twist the doorknob, opening it to see him with a box of chocolates tucked between his elbow, a smile so bright like he'd just won the grandest prize of them all.
"hi, will you— are you crying?" his smile falls, lips turned into an upside down crescent of worry, hands gently placing the box on the table to place them on your shoulders. "what's wrong? is that pistachio?"
you don't answer him, feeling the heavy rock around your throat come back and push your tears through again. you let yourself cry in front of him, pint tucked to your chest that the ice melts onto your shirt along with the tears that race down to your neck.
joseph comes in, closing the door behind him as he hugs you like he doesn't expect you to cry, pushing your head to his chest and it's like he wants you to hear his steady heartbeat, each thump a soft whisper asking you to calm down. he's gently shushing, hands running through your hair like he'd always do when you're sad, or when you're asleep in his arms (as a friend.)
"it's — is it because of the date?" joseph murmurs, pushing your arms away so he'd take a better look at you. he tilts his head down to see you better, eyelashes fluttering at his rapid blinks. he's unconvinced when you shake your head. "oh love—"
"did you leave anything behind?" you place the ice cream on the side, leaving the spoon stuck in the thick dessert. tugging on your cheeks to wipe your tears away, he takes your wrists to stop you, holding it down to the space between.
"is it about the date?"
his repetition makes you finally nod your head.
"aw. babe, i— i was going to ask you out."
you blink the tears away from your lashes. "what?"
"i was going to do what you said," he takes the box into his hands. "i was going to come here, with something that you liked and ask you out. it's — it's the only way that i could think of that sounded cute."
the film reel rewinds the way your heart that's left on the carpet has risen to mend itself. but instead of jumping into his arms with dire contact, you punch his shoulder, mad at him for an irrational reason of him giving you a temporary, fake heartbreak.
"you're such a jackass. a dickhead!" he laughs, in pain, rubbing the spot on his shoulder. "you made me cry and thought it was the end of the world."
"i'm sorry," his thumbs wipe the tear stains off your cheeks. "i'm sorry, darling. never again."
joseph pulls you into his chest, head deep into his tactile touch, smiling when he kisses the top of your head. "god. i was about to strangle you when you said someone else made you laugh harder than i do."
"‘m sorry," he chuckles. "now, will you eat these chocolates and go out with me?"
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reblogs and feedback are appreciated <3
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quindolyn · 3 years
Note
giving james a rim job headcannons
Rim Job Headcanons || James Potter
Word Count: 1243
A/N: Hop you guys enjoy this! At least while i was writing it it felt different than my other headcanons and I formatted dialogue differently., get ready for a lot of sub James because I'm not in the mood to read and I miss writing about my baby
Warnings: anal fingering (male receiving), i believe this qualifies as oral the fuck do I know? degradation, praise, mommy!kink, dom reader, fem reader, mentions of pegging.
Masterlist
You guys use it as a way to prep him for pegging
Jamesie had no clue what pegging really was until you explained it to him one night when Sirius brought it up jokingly
You were sitting between his legs, pressed up against his chest when he leaned in so that his lips brushed the shell of your ear where he murmured, slurring his words
“(Y/N/N), what’s pegging?”
“We can talk about it later bubba, maybe I’ll give you a bit of a demonstration,” You mutter against the soft, warm skin of his neck, feeling him shiver under your lips, under your fingertips as they graze his carotid, “Would you like that pretty boy?”
“Yes,” He gulped under your touch, “Very much.”
Obviously once you explain what pegging is to the pretty baby he’s desperate to try it. He wants nothing more than to feel full, in fact he becomes obsessed with the idea nad spends every last minute begging for you to be inside of him
Poor baby doesn’t understand that you guys need to work on stretching him out before you can fuck him otherwise he’d get hurt.
When this concept is first explained to him he’s so fucking whiny
Almost whiny enough for you to threaten to completely take the option of pegging off the table entirely
And while you would enjoy torturing James like that you were looking forward to it too much for you to do that to yourself
Once James comes to know exactly what preparing for pegging entails he gets giddy
Explaining to him what a rim job is
And he gets all blushy like he did when you introduced him to the concept of pegging
When it comes time for it you get him on his hands and knees on the bed, he’s practically shaking with excitement and you have to smooth your palms over his hips
“S okay pretty boy, I know you’re excited but you gotta calm down for me, can you do that baby?” Your murmur gently as you smear delicate kisses along the curvature of his spine, the minute he took up his position on the bed he arched his spine, presenting his ass to you like the good slut you’d trained him to be.
Your request was met with frantic nods and you watched as James flexed the muscles in his back and legs, willing himself to stay still for you, to be good.
Once he finally stills you settle behind him on your knees with your your hands resting on the insides of his thighs, making sure they’re pushed apart enough so that you can comfortably position your head to line up with his hole
We need not get into the nitty gritty of prepping for the event because there’s magic for a reason: you're able to quickly and silently perform any number of cleaning and lubrication spells on he’s to make sure he’s clean and ready for you.
You smirk as you watch him struggle to contain himself, as he wiggles in his spot
But no matter how hard he tries he can’t help but arch his back just a little bit more, nonverbally begging you to touch him the way you promised him
Not exactly feeling benevolent you tease him because what’s more fun than teasing a needy baby?
Starting at his balls you work your way up to his ass, your licks teasing, pushing out only the tip of your tongue, providing only the most minimal of stimulation knowing it will drive him absolutely insane
Through his legs you can see his straining erection, begging to be touched, red, weeping head and distinct veins as beautiful as ever as his member twitches in accordance of each movement of your tongue
Like always James is so fucking whiny because he simultanesouly loves and loathes the teasing
But he’s determined to take the teasing like a good boy for you so the moans and whimpers and whines are muffled as he bites his lip and buries his face in the comforter
When you’ve decided he’s taken enough of the teasing you let your tongue start to breech his tight hole, gripping the globes of his ass
The novelty of it all accompanied by the feeling of James’ solid body under your hands and the noises emanating from those pretty lips of his send you into dom space
Everything arounds you seems to sharpen and come into focus but the most focused thing by far is James’ quivering body
He can only restrain himself for so long but as you begin to quicken your movements, swirling your tongue around his tight entrance before pushing deeper into him
Quickly his moans and whimpers accompanied by the occasional gasp as you adjust the movement of your tongue fill the room and they only serve to spur you on
You can’t help but squeeze his ass cheeks, one in each hand
The delight you take in the marks your fingernails leave on the soft skin is unmatched and you can’t help but hope that maybe those marks will sting just a little bit tomorrow when he sits down at the Great Hall for lunch and during Transfiguration against the unyielding wood benches
Quiet reminders of how good you can make him feel, remind him who he belongs to
The feeling of your tongue inside of him is unlike anything he’s ever felt
Occasionally when giving him a handjob you’d insert a finger or two but this is completely different
And so much fucking better
It doesn’t take long for you to get him achingly hard
He’s too overwhelmed by the pleasure you’re causing him by your tongue alone to ask for you to touch him but luckily for him you’re attuned to everything about him and you’re more than aware of his throbbing cock hanging between his legs
You reach around to grab his cock, squeezing his base before slowly working your hand up and down his shaft
Your pace agonizingly slow
But you’re finally touching him, he isn’t about to complain
It doesn’t take long before pleas are tumbling from James’ lips begging to cum
Telling you how good it feels
Pleading with you to take mercy on him and let him have his release
All the while pushing his ass back, needing more
“Please Mommy, need more, need your tongue, need to cum. Your tongue feels so good, please let me cum mommy, let me cum for you please.”
“Need more Jamie? Dirty little slut needs more?”
Every time you pull away to speak, whether it be to tell him what a filthy, pathetic slut he is or praise him for taking your tongue so well you insert two fingers into his ass, scissoring them inside of him, watching the way he shivers from the stretch of them
You flip him onto his back before you let him cum, keeping your fingers inserted inside oh him, the other hand pumping his cock as you finally grant him release and allow him to cum
“That’s it, that’s a good boy,” You coo, mesmerized by the way the way his face twists and contorts as rope after rope of cum lands on the hard planes of his abs, “Look at that pretty boy, you made a sticky mess f’me didn’t you?”
And the poor baby is too fucked out to respond
But that’s how you like him, nice and fucked.
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noctumbra · 4 years
Text
❝scars❞
summary ─ “jamie,” you whispered, and bucky─ he sobbed quietly at first. His chin was trembling slightly, eyes were now red and his nose was tingling. “oh, jamie,” you murmured as you ran your hair on his face gently, so gently.
pairing ─ roommate!bucky barnes x reader
warnings ─ smut, +18, angst, mentions of nightmares and scars, mirror sex, body worship, sarge kink, oral sex, bucky fucks like an animal, also my fav position like holy shit skdfjskjfs
a/n ─ this... IS LONG and shouldn’t have had angst in it but well *shrugs* hope you like it!! seven days late, but better late than never right? please leave a comment if you like it! thank you <333
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KINKTOBER DAY ELEVEN: roommate!bucky + body worship + mirror sex + daddy sarge kink
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When you came home after a very tiring school day, you found Bucky lounging on the couch and flipping through the channels.
He looked sick, pale; his mid-length hair sticking to his face, t-shirt was sweat soaked, his sweatpants had stains on them and his face. God, his face looked haunted. The purple-ish dark circles under his eyes were deeper and more prominent now; they had a haunted, wounded look in them. His lips looked bitten harshly; they were very red and swollen, and bleeding just a little. His cheekbones were more visible than a week ago. It looked like he lost a lot of weight in the span of two days.
Feeling your heart broke, you hung your coat and toed your boots off. You were making noise intentionally; scaring him was the last thing you could ask for him right now. So, you moved onto the small kitchen you shared, dropping your bag on the tiny table, you made a move towards the coffee machine that was chirping happily.
“Hey,” you called out softly only to get a grunt in return. It was not his day, you realized. You sighed. It never stopped you before and you weren’t about to start shying away. “You want some coffee?” You asked, “Or I could make you your tea? Lavender?” Bucky didn’t say anything. Sighing again, you put your cup on the counter, making your way to Bucky.
“Bucky?” His eyes flicked to yours for a second, but he averted them quickly. He knew that you could tell that he was not okay, knew that that was why you were acting like he was something fragile.
He hated it.
He hated being so fragile, weak, and broken. He wanted everything to be okay, but things he saw and did… They didn’t let him be. They were haunting him every day of his miserable life, and you were witnessing it.
“Hey,” he heard you call out to him again, so soft and loving. Bucky felt like he could cry like a baby, so he just pushed the tears back and clenched his jaw. “Jamie,” you whispered, and Bucky─ He sobbed quietly at first. His chin was trembling slightly, eyes were now red and his nose was tingling. “Oh, Jamie,” you murmured as you ran your hair on his face gently, so gently.
Bucky didn’t deserve your gentleness, or your kindness, really. Not after what he done overseas. Not after what he saw.
“Sssh,” you hushed him as you cradled his jaw in your warm palm. His stubble was tickling your hand a little, but you didn’t mind. He needed all the affection you could ever give to him. “C’mon,” you murmured, “Let’s get you out of these clothes and maybe give you a shower, shall we?”
“I’m not a baby or a cripple,” he whisper-snarled.
“I know,” you agreed. “You’re not a baby or a cripple. You’re Jamie; you can do whatever you want on your own if that’s what you wish.” You stroked his cheekbone. It felt too sharp under your finger. “You’re also my friend,” you whispered, “No, you’re more than a friend; you’re my only family, Jamie. Families take care of each other when it’s needed.” Bucky sniffed. “Let me take care of you?”
He couldn’t say no. It’d be a dishonor to say no, especially when you were being so patient and kind with him. You were also right; you were a family.
“Okay,” he whispered and let you help him off the couch. Both of you walked towards the bathroom with quiet steps. Bucky was slightly shaking in your arms; the effect of his nightmare was still present in his mind. When you reached the bathroom, you helped him sit on the toilet after you closed the lid.
“I’m gonna bring you some clothes, okay?” You asked him while you turned the water on. Bucky nodded slowly. “I’ll be right back,” you whispered and squeezed his hand. You quickly made your way to his room; opening his closet, you pulled out his softest sweatpants and t-shirt, also grabbed one of his clean boxer briefs.
Bucky looked up as he heard you come back. You were holding clean clothes and his towels in your hands. You placed them onto the washing machine and turned to him. He knew this part. He needed to get out of his clothes. He didn’t want to, but he had to.
“Jamie…” You whispered.
“I know,” he murmured. He closed his eyes and sighed. It wasn’t that you hadn’t seen him without a shirt before, you had. This shower thing wasn’t your first rodeo. Sighing again, Bucky gripped the hem of t-shirt and pulled it over his head. His scarred arm was hurting badly; he had dug his nails very deep while trapped in the nightmare, there were some bad nail marks on his forearm. Bucky discarded the t-shirt somewhere in the bathroom and stood up to shed his sweatpants. Now he was realizing that his clothes were really filth; his habit of ignoring to face with himself after a nightmare made him also ignore the filth that the nightmare usually brought with itself. “Yuck,” he whispered to himself, but you heard it. Chuckling softly, you moved towards the tub to check the water. It was the right amount of lukewarm; leaning towards hot more than cold, Bucky hated cold things.
“Water is ready,” you announced, stepping aside so that Bucky could get in the tub. He did, partially hiding his arm and his private areas ─ not that you hadn’t seen it before. Bucky groaned softly as he lowered himself into the water. All the tension in his muscles was slowly going away with the warm hug of hot water and he thanked you softly. “Anytime, Jamie,” you answered him cheekily. “Now, wet your hair a little so that I can wash it for you.”
The bath went on without a hitch; Bucky had let you wash his hair, even let you use the conditioner, and he helped you while you were washing his body.
You remembered your first times with him.
You were desperate for a cheap-priced room because the girls which you shared your dorm room with were bitches and hated you with their guts. When you saw his ad on the newspaper, you almost screamed because the offer was exactly what you were looking for: two room and one living room, separate bathrooms, tiny but practical kitchen. All the bills and grocery shopping were to be paid fifty-fifty. The place was close to your campus, too. You were only a little hesitant about the other room being belong to a man, but you had handled with it by installing new locks both on your room’s and the bathroom’s door after you signed the contract.
The man said that he had been away, overseas. He did four tours in Afghanistan and Iraq, had been dumped on the unforgiving cold of Siberia. At the very least, his last tour had almost caused him to lose an arm, though he had very heavy scarring on his left arm and less heavier one on his left thigh. His chest was filled with small scars, too.
He wasn’t a bad guy, though. He was actually a sweetheart made of cold stares and war-built huge muscles. He looked intimidating, you had decided on after a month you had spent with him. He was also a funny and smart guy, a gentleman really.
You’ve been sharing this small apartment with him for three years now.
“Mmm,” You heard him hum happily as you combed his hair. You could see his reflection on the mirror. You moved onto your room because his bed was filthy and you didn’t want to leave him alone even for a minute. You had a body length mirror in front of your bed, and you were sitting on the bed while he was on the floor, between your legs.
“Your hair is always so soft even though you’re shit at taking care of it,” you grumbled silently. Bucky chuckled, shoulders trembling slightly.
“It’s the genes, honey,” he said, feeling a lot more like himself. You smiled.  You ran the comb in his soft and long hair while humming to yourself contently. The genes he was talking about were strong and pretty, you realized. He had this beautiful shade of blue eyes, very kissable lips and a handsome face. You were actually very surprised when you learned that he had been single ever since he had joined the army which happened when he was eighteen and he was thirty-three now.
“You’re beautiful, you know,” you said, watching his reaction through the mirror. Bucky scoffed. “You are, Jamie,” you insisted. “Your hair and eyes and lips… You have a very handsome face that most of the girls I know would fall in love with. Those freckles,” you ran the tip of your fingers on the bridge of his nose and his cheekbones. “They’re absolutely adorable. So is the dimple on your chin. I know you hide it with your beard, but you shouldn’t. It gives you a different kind of look.” You put the comb aside as you locked eyes with him on the mirror. His eyes were wide and surprised; he didn’t expect getting these kinds of compliments from you it seemed.
“You’re very self-conscious when it comes to your body,” you started gently as you peeled the towel off his shoulders. His fingers went lax and he let you put the towel aside. “You have a beautifully toned body, Jamie. These muscles were earned with hard-work, not with steroids. You gained them when you were saving innocent people and killing the ones that maybe deserved to be killed.” You ran your fingers on his biceps, feeling them shudder slightly under your touch. One of your hands moved to his chest while the other stayed on his left arm.
“These scars? They’re telling me that you’ve made sacrifices for the people you have save or tried saving,” you murmured and kissed his cheek. “They tell me that you almost died while saving those people.” Your hand on his left arm tightened just a little, making him understand that you were talking about what happened on his last tour. “All the scars on your body tell me a story, Jamie. They make you a badass and a hero in my eyes. A brave man who risked his live just to save the others.” You heard him took a sharp breath before the soft sob escaped his lips.
Kissing his cheek again, you moved the hand on his chest south. “You think you don’t deserve good things such as love and kindness. Honey,” you whispered. “You’re one of those people who deserve them the most.” You grabbed his chin and turned his face to yours. His eyes were red but dark, pupils dilated. This was both touching and arousing for him, you knew it. “You deserve to feel good.” Your thumb stroked his cheekbone gently. “You deserve to feel loved.” He leaned in just a little. “Jamie…” You whispered just before he kissed you.
The kiss felt like a huge, much needed breathe that you both refused to take for a long time.
Moaning into the kiss brokenly, both of you panted. Lips sliding on each other’s hungrily, Bucky turned his body to you between your legs, rising on to his knees. He cradled your face with his hands. Tilting his head to his side, his tongue licked a small line on your lips, gently asking for permission. With a whimper, you gave it to him. His tongue dove into your mouth, making you moan this time.
“Y/N…” he whimpered when you pulled away for oxygen. “I─ I really want this.” You nodded and kissed him on the lips chastely. “I want this a lot. You. I want you.”
“Me too,” you agreed. “God, Bucky, three years─” Bucky just whimpered brokenly and leaned in for another kiss. This time taking you in his arms, he lifted you and laid you down your bed. His body was on top yours, covering yours in a way that got your head all fuzzy with sweet feelings. You wrapped your arms around his neck as you pulled him down even more.
His right hand was on your jaw, cradling your face in his large palm gently. His other one was roaming all over your body. Stroking every single naked body part it could find, you shuddered under his body. His lips were so soft, so kissable, you moaned at the feeling of them against yours. They were stroking yours so nicely, you felt amazing. Loved.
“Jamie!” You mewled when he sucked on your bottom lip. His stubble covered face was now moving to your neck; you bared it to him by throwing your head back. You fisted his hair. Your fingers were gripping the soft locks harshly, Bucky gasped. His teeth clamped on your widely beating pulse and nibbled softly. “Fuck,” you breathed as his bite turned into a suck. He was marking you, and you were fucking loving it.
“Smell so nice,” he murmured against your skin. “Y/N, honey girl,” Bucky moaned when your hips thrusted up unintentionally. He pressed his own down, stopping you from moving. “It’s been a very,” Bucky chuckled, “very long time since I had sex. I don’t wanna come in, like, two seconds.” You giggled and watched his face for a short while, an idea was forming in your head slowly. You pushed at his shoulders a bit. Bucky frowned.
“Mirror,” you murmured, “Sit in front of the mirror for me?” Still frowning, Bucky did as you said. He got off the bed and sat in front of the mirror. You followed him a second later and helped him get out of the sweatpants. Also taking his boxer briefs off, you slid your hand over his bare chest. You felt his muscles shudder under your fingers and you smirked. “Let me help you to let some steam off, okay?”
Breathlessly, Bucky nodded. You laid on your stomach after you positioned him in a way where he could see what you were going to do to him through the mirror clearly.
“Oh, fuck,” he whimpered when he realized what you were up to. You winked at him and kissed one of the scars on his chest.
“Relax,” you murmured. You smirked again when you heard him chant curse words under his breath. You lowered your head and took a hold of his half-hard cock. Moaning softly at the feeling of him in your hand, you licked your lips before you placed a kiss on the top. His precum smeared all over your lips with one kiss, you hummed.  Bucky panted; his lips were parted and his eyes were glazed. You loved this look on him.
Winking at him again, you closed your lips around his cock head and sucked softly.
“Holy fu─” Bucky choked over his own moan and his hips bucked up to your face just a little. “Ha─! Shit, sorry, fuck, ‘m sorry.” Panting wildly, you stroked his thighs without stopping yourself from sucking his cock. You bobbed your head up and down a little; taking just a little bit more of him with each slide. His taste had your taste buds singing; the right amount of bitterness and something that was unique to him. You loved it. You pulled back and licked the throbbing, thick vein from bottom to top. Bucky whined loudly from the back of his throat, eyes pleading. You looked at him and keeping the eye-contact you closed your lips on his head again and sucked for real.
“Ah!” Bucky cried out loudly, head thrown back onto the bed. “God, fuck, yes…” He murmured softly. “I missed─ Ah!” You hummed around him; vibrations making him feel so good that Bucky knew that he was going to come very soon. He moaned, thrashed a little as you sucked him like a lollipop and whimpered. He forgot how a blowjob made him feel so freaking good. He forgot how it felt to have someone else touching him like this, giving him the pleasure and psychical contact that he had been missing like crazy for the past years.
“Y/N…” He whimpered your name softly. “’m gonna come,” he warned, “Fuck, ‘m so close, honey. Please.” You hollowed your cheeks and sucked even harder; your fingers found his tight balls and started to roll them, squeeze them gently. Bucky shouted and whimpered, hips twitching. “Fuck, fuck, fuuuuck─” He couldn’t even warn you about coming; his orgasm hit him like a freight train and Bucky felt his whole body trembling violently, toes curling, before blacking out for a couple seconds.
You hummed throughout the whole thing softly. Having stopped playing with his balls, you just suckled at him. His cock was throbbing in your mouth while he was whining and moaning under his breath. You pulled off and started to jack him without an aim, just to bring him down. His eyes blinked open a couple seconds later. His skin was covered with a thin sheen of sweat, eyes so dark, you couldn’t even see the blue in them anymore. His cheeks were pink and he looked debauched in the best way possible.
“Hi,” he breathed, smiling tiredly, but wide. You smiled back at him.
“Hey, how are you feeling?” You asked. You knew it had been a long time for him, he just told you and you assumed since he wasn’t hooking up with anyone etc. You were worried just a little because it was his first orgasm in a very long time.
“’m… I feel amazin’,” he grinned. You chuckled, your worry melting away. Bucky grabbed your hand that was still on his cock and tugged you up from it. You went to him. Bucky wrapped his arms around your waist and hoisted you up on his lap, lips finding yours immediately. You breathed out a soft moan as his lips collided into yours. Kissing him felt incredible, having his warm body against yours… You were in heaven and you were going to enjoy it until the very end.
“I wanna be in you,” he whispered against your lips. Moaning, surprised, you nodded. “Can we, honey? Please?”
“Mmm, of course, Sarge,” you hummed, feeling him stiffen. You pulled back just a little, heart beating wildly because of the possibility that you might have fucked everything up by calling him Sarge. Then, he blinked and his face contorted into a dark version of before.
“Hmm,” he hummed at you back, approvingly. “Is that how things gonna be? You gonna call me Sarge to rile me up?” You chuckled; both relieved and surprised.
“Yeah, do you not want me to?”
“Oh, no. You are to keep calling me Sarge and nothing else,” he said, voice commanding. Giggling softly, you nodded.
“Yes, Sarge.” Bucky smirked at you and stroked your cheek. “Before we get into it for real, kiss me again?” His face softened a bit and he immediately complied. The next couple minutes were lost to kissing; heated and soft and chaste, all kinds, and undressing. By the time you stopped kissing, both of you were as naked as the day you were born. You felt your face heating up, you buried your face into the crook of his neck. Bucky trailed his fingers down your spine, making you shiver. Bucky held you tightly against his chest and he laid you in front of the mirror.
“I don’t think I can do slow,” he murmured. “Honey, you understand what I’m saying? I can’t do slow.” You nodded as you cradled his jaw, nails drawing shapes on his bare back.
“Yes, do it. Don’t be slow, Sarge, c’mon,” you urged him. Bucky’s face darkened like it did a short while ago. He leaned in kissed your lips chastely, and then he moved to your jaw. Peppering kisses to your breasts, Bucky took one into his mouth and sucked on it. You moaned sharply, hand slipping in his silky soft hair. One of his hands was kneading your breast while the other moved to your wet pussy. You cried out when his fingers brushed your swollen clit.
Bucky pulled back to moan. “Fuck, darlin’,” he groaned, “You’re fuckin’ drippin’. ‘s it all for me?” You nodded as you bit your lip to stay quiet. “No,” Bucky growled. “Lemme hear you.” His fingers flicked your clit harshly and you cried out with the sudden pain mixed with pleasure. “There ya go…” He murmured and his fingers ran up and down your pussy, getting his fingers wet. He was murmuring to himself, but you weren’t listening to him. His fingers were so close to where you were aching, but he wasn’t touching you.
“Please,” you whined.
“Please, what?”
“Sarge! Please!” He hummed and pulled his fingers back. You heard him fumble and then you felt his cock moving against your pussy. He groaned softly. “Please!” You begged again. Bucky just growled and he slid inside of you.
“Fuck─” He gasped and panted, hands slapping the ground next to your head, he towered over your pleasure-wrung body. “Tight,” he snarled between his clenched teeth. “Tight as fuck, holy shit, baby girl.” You hummed and whimpered, nails scratching his back and leaving red marks on his skin. “Yes,” Bucky said, “Touch me, mark me, baby, do it!”
You cried out as he pulled back and slammed back in harshly. You dug your nails into his meaty back, dragging them down, you held onto him tight. His hips were driving into you at a harsh, punishing pace, but both of you were loving it. His cock was hitting every spot that had you click every time you played with yourself. You cried out with each hit of his hips against yours. The slick sound of your meeting were filling the room, driving you both even crazier. Your head lolled to your side and you caught a glimpse of his sweat-slicked body moving on top of yours like an oiled machine and you gasped, back arching, you came on the spot.
“Wha─” Bucky gasped, too, with the sudden vice-like tightness around his cock. He lifted his head where he had buried into the crook of your neck and looked at you, surprised. You moaned as your legs shook. “Honey─” Your back fell back on the ground and you tried to catch your breath.
“The mirror,” you gasped, your clit was still throbbing wildly. Bucky groaned and closed his eyes for a second and then opened them again, eyes turning towards the mirror. A devilish smirk appeared on his face when he understood what just happened. He sat up on his haunches and he turned you onto your belly with one move.
“Fuck─” you moaned, “Bucky─” He slapped your ass once, the stinging pain reminding you what you did wrong. “Sarge. ‘m sorry, Sarge.” Bucky hummed and he manhandled your body towards the mirror. He pulled you up against his chest and placed his right arm on your stomach while his scarred one wrapped your shoulders. He sat back against the bed, taking the same position that you sucked him on.
“Look at the mirror, honey,” he murmured into your ear. You whimpered and did as he said. You gasped at the sight. You could see where your body ended and his had begun. You could see the throbbing thick vein of his cock disappearing into your abused-looking pussy. One of your nipples was pink from Bucky’s suckling and beard. Your neck was red because Bucky was hiding his face there before you came around his cock. You looked fucked thoroughly while you haven’t actually gotten around to it.
“Sarge,” you moaned. Bucky kissed the sensitive skin just beneath your ear and sucked on your earlobe.
“I know, darlin’,” he murmured. “Hold on tight.” You did, grabbing his arms around your body, you held tight, and he started to move.
His hips were thrusting upwards like a mad man; his balls were hitting against the slicked skin and creating an obscene sound, the muscles on his thighs were jumping with each thrust. Your pussy was making the slickest sounds, though. Your breath hitched as you moaned, and your head fell against his shoulder.
“Eyes on the mirror,” he ordered, and your eyes snapped open. You found his eyes on the mirror and looked into them. They had a wild look in them; something dark and desperate was lurking around. You moaned pitifully. Bucky grunted. The pace he was going at it became faster, and you knew that both of you were so close.
“Sarge─ Bucky!” You whined as his left hand sneaked towards your pussy and started to roll your clit between his fingers. Your eyes rolled back even though you tried to hold them on the mirror like you’ve been ordered to.
“Come,” he sneered, “Come for me, darlin’, c’mon.” His cock was driving and stroking deep, deep inside of you and you knew it wasn’t a hardship to do what he said. You screamed, shouted and cried out as you tightened around him and came for a second time. Bucky grunted behind you when your pussy squeezed him. His balls were hitting you more harshly; his cock was harder than before.
“Sarge!” You moaned, “Come for me, Sarge, please! Come in me, please, please!” You chanted as you dug your nails into his arm. Bucky gasped, a loud and raspy moan left his mouth and he came. His thighs twitching under you, you felt his cock throb. His thick come washing your walls, Bucky panted hotly behind you.
Both of you panted for a while, trying to get your breathings in control. You melted in Bucky’s strong embrace long before. He was lax behind you, and you were happy.
“We are doing this again,” he murmured, “and again, and again… After you let me take you out on a date, maybe?” You chuckled and looked at him over your shoulder. He looked sheepish and a little unsure. You knew it must be a bit hard for him to do so when you considered his past. You kissed his cheek.
“Of course,” you agreed easily. “Though, you don’t have to take me on a date to do this again and again… I won’t mind is what I’m sayin’,” you grumbled. It was Bucky’s turn to chuckle. He started to place kisses all over your shoulder, neck and cheek.
“Okay,” he said, voice quiet. You hummed happily as you buried yourself into his warm body even more. Then, you realized something.
“Sarge, huh?” You joked. Bucky groaned.
“Shut it,” he grumbled. “It’s─ bleh, whatever.”
“Yeah, okay,” you said, but the taste of having him blush because of your joking was too delicious. “But seriously, though. Sarge.”
Bucky growled and he laid you on the ground, over your belly as he covered your body with his large one. “I said shut it.” You looked at him with sparkling eyes.
“Why don’t you make me, Jamie boy?”
The twinkles in his eyes were nothing but promising.
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duuhrayliegh · 3 years
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my hero - request
request: anon: hi could you write a sebastian x female reader fic where she suffers from anxiety and feels bad because of it but he comforts her and tells her there’s nothing wrong with her and how strong she is even though she has this disorder
pairing: sebastian stan x female!reader
warnings: self-esteem issues, anxiety, toxicity in the fandom, language?
a/n: hey nona! you weren’t super specific on what type of anxiety that you wanted to reader to have, so if this isn’t what you had in mind, lmk and i’ll write you another fic! other than that i hope you like it!
p.s.: my requests and tag lists are open!!
xoxo ray
check out my m.list
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You and Seb met at a coffee shop in New York. It was totally cliche and seemed straight out of a storybook. You had somehow managed to spill coffee on that specimen of a man, and he was kind enough to let you pay for his dry cleaning. Your relationship didn’t grow until you ran into him again while you were at a bar with your friends. If he had any say in telling the story of how you met, he spotted you from across the smoky bar and he knew then and there that he had to get to know you. Truthfully, you liked his version, but the real one was just indescribable. It seemed, to you at least, that you were destined to be with this man. Seeing him twice in one week? Come on, that’s possible if you were in the small town you grew up in, but not New York.
You obviously had recognized him as an actor, but really you didn’t care. That’s what drew Sebastian to you in the first place. You treated him as if he was any other guy on the street, he was able to be a normal person around you. Now, two years later, you lounge on the couch of your apartment in LA that you shared with the man you love. He’s still auditioning for any role that catches his eye and you’re supporting him no matter what.
His fans for the most part adored you and your relationship with Sebastian. The fans who didn’t like you were your only issue with this whole affair, but they had nothing to do with Sebastian other than flood his socials with nasty messages about you. You weren’t perfect, that you knew all too well, and you tried to let the comments roll off your shoulders. Most of the time you were successful in your efforts, but other times they clung to your skin like an unwanted disease.
Sebastian was currently promoting his new project Endings, Beginnings. You were so unbelievably proud of Seb, he was doing something that made him happy. In this particular film, he was acting alongside Shailene Woodley, who was just amazing. Seb always came home gushing about the new inside jokes that they had come up with. One of your favorite things that Seb did with you was run lines. You liked having the inside scoop on his new works, but this one was harder for you. It had quite a few sex scenes between Seb’s character Frank and Shailene’s Daphne.
Not that it bothered you. Nope. Didn’t bother you. At all.
...mmm, okay maybe it bugged you a little. It wasn’t that you didn’t trust Sebastian, it was… well you couldn’t really describe what it was. Whatever the case may be, it was putting you deeper and deeper into a funk, one that you were having a hard time coming out of. And Seb’s fans who weren’t in your corner, weren’t really helping you any.
A few nights ago, Seb surprised you with a casual night out in LA. He texted you before he got home and told you that he was going to be taking you out. Did he give you a dress code for the evening? No, he did not (wonderful, thanks so much Seb). You decided to dress in a half business casual, half rail me when we get home outfit. You ended up wearing an adorable bustier top that was embroidered with pretty blue and pink flowers, a pair of destroyed jeans covered your legs. You finished it off with a pair of nude heels, when you looked in the mirror, you thought you looked hot as fuck. It was around seven when Seb picked you up, mouth hanging open, in awe of your outfit.
“Oh my god. You look so beautiful, Y/N.” He opened the passenger door of his car after he hugged you, giving you a small peck on the lips. Sebastian drove you to a restaurant a block off of Thai Town called Home Restaurant.
“Babe, this place is so cute!” You squeezed Sebastian’s upper arm, jumping up and down beside him. “How’d you find this place?” Sebastian shook his head, smiling at you.
“I asked Shai, actually.” He rubbed his hand on the back of his neck, and your heart sank a little. Why did it do that? “She said that the paps hardly ever come around here.” He leaned down pressing a kiss to your temple. “I thought that draga mea deserved a quiet night out on the town.” His voice rasped as he spoke in his native tongue, making a shiver race down your spine.
“Well, tell her I said thank you.” You offered him a small smile. He wrapped his arm around your waist, drawing circles on the exposed skin above your jeans. He spoke with the hostess as your mind drifted away. You were pulled out of your thoughts when he guided you to your table. Sebastian sat across from you, staring deeply into your eyes. You brought your hand up to rest your chin on it, staring back at him. “How’s everything been going?” You were genuinely interested in the answer and it made your heart warm watching his face light up.
“It’s been going really well. Everyone we worked with was real nice, it made all the scenes more comfortable.” Seb’s eyebrows rose at the mention of the scenes and you knew which ones he was referring to.
“Oh, right.” You tried not to let your emotions show.
“Yeah, we’re about to start teasing some of them to promote the show.” Seb sighed at the thought of having to use social media, you shook your head at him.
“I’ll help you with it, you dork.” You laughed to hide your discomfort. “Which scene did they approve for the posts?” Sebastian began to speak when he was interrupted by your waitress. After the two of you ordered your food, the waitress returned with your drinks. Sebastian took a large gulp of his before answering your previous question.
“They want me to post the trailer and then the scene between Frank and Daphne at the bar.” You tried to think back to the script, remembering the context. Frank and Daphne were meeting after Daphne had gone out on a date with Jack. Daphne was claiming that she didn’t want to be a wedge in their friendship, then proceeded to make out with Frank. If you were recalling correctly, Frank and Daphne’s first sex scene followed soon after.
“Okay, we can do that. Do you have any behind the scene pictures you wanna post too?” Seb got out his phone, scrolling through his camera roll to see. He had several different photos of him with Jamie and then him with Shailene. He showed you his phone on a picture of Shailene leaned against him on a couch, her arm over his waist. A red filter colored the photo, you had to hand it to him, it was a good one to use. “We can post it whenever we get home, love.” Sebastian locked his phone and shoved it in his pocket, to focus solely on you.
“How has your day been, draga mea?” You bit your lip as you thought about what you’ve been doing. You’ve been working towards your Master’s, so your days have been filled with preparing for your dissertation. On top of that, you’ve become a bit of an influencer on different social media platforms. Really, you believe your popularity came from your relationship with Sebastian. You’ve been giving his fans the content that they’ve always wanted. Not only that, but you’re active with them.
“My day was good today. I had to edit a few papers from my other classmates but other than that I didn’t do much. I did make a few TikTok videos, but really today was a bit of a lounge day for me.” Seb smiled at you, proud of how hard you’ve been working.
“I should be getting a few days off soon, so we can relax together in the apartment, if you aren’t too busy with your classes.” He stretched his arm across the table, palm up waiting for your hand. Seb pulled your hand up to his mouth, placing a sloppy kiss onto the back of it. His eyes settled on you lovingly. To Sebastian, you were the greatest thing that had ever happened to him.
The two of you managed to finish your meal in peace. No fans came up to Sebastian asking for photos, no paparazzi swarms when you left, just a quiet meal for a normal couple in love. After you got home and you were snuggled in your pajamas alongside Sebastian in your comfortable bed, he handed you his phone to read over his post for his Instagram. The paragraph was sappy, about his time working with Drake, the director, and working with the rest of the cast. Seb always was a softy, never was able to hide it, especially in promo posts.
“It looks good to me. Are you going to post it now? Or wait until tomorrow morning?” Seb debated, he probably should wait and do it tomorrow, but he was most likely going to forget to do it. He clicked post, putting his phone on charge and snuggling into you.
“Thank you for always being there for me, Y/N.” He kissed your jawline, nuzzling his face into your neck. “It really means a lot to me, baby. I love you so much.” He wrapped both hands around your waist, pulling you to his front. You smiled wide, momentarily forgetting all of your troubles.
“I love you too, Seb.” You turned your head slightly, pressing a kiss against the corner of his mouth. “Now let’s get some sleep, love.” Little did you know that a single post could ruin all of the progress that you thought you had made.
*********************
You woke the next morning, alone in bed. You could hear pots clanging in the kitchen of your home, bringing a smile to your face. Before you left the safety of your bed, you checked your socials out of habit. You opened Instagram first, seeing an absurd amount of notifications this early in the morning. Your smile dropped as soon as you opened the first post. Comments on Sebastian’s post about Endings, Beginnings and his chemistry with Shailene weren’t entirely out of the ordinary. They were to be expected, they were playing parts in a love triangle. People were ‘shipping’ Shailene with Seb and Jamie, so that wasn’t too crazy.
What hurt you were the comments saying, “living for shailene and sebastian! she’s a much better match for him than y/n.”
“never thought that y/n girl was going to last, glad he’s going w shailene”
“shailene and seb supremacy”
“yes! i’ve always supported seb in everything he’s done, but i rlly questioned him when he got w that y/n girl. what was he thinking?!”
Tears gathered in your eyes as you continued scrolling. You never thought you and Sebastian never fit. You knew that people had issues with your relationship, but you never let it get in your head this bad. You checked your explore page, pictures of you and Sebastian from last night were riddling the page.
Your heart dropped.
There were pictures of the two of you from last night with parts of your body circled. The exposed skin above your waistband, the excess skin on your neck and arms. You don’t know where they got these pictures, but your stomach was steadily sinking with each picture you saw. The door of your room opened, revealing a smiley Sebastian with a plate full of eggs in one hand and a cup of orange juice in the other.
“Good morning, baby.” You quickly shoved your phone away from you, wiping your tears away from your eyes to meet his. His brows furrowed immediately. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?” You snuffled quietly, before answering.
“Uh, nothing. I’m just so proud of you.” You smiled at him, not wanting to bring down his already happy mood with your problems. Was that entirely healthy? Probably not, but you were doing it anyway, consequences be damned.
“Oh, well you don’t have to cry for me, Y/N. Even if you’re proud.” He walked up to your side of the bed, placing the cup and plate on your nightstand. He brought his hand up to your cheeks, wiping away your tear streaks. “You know that I only like to see tears whenever it’s me causing you so much pleasure you beg me to stop.” He winked at you, smirking at your rising blush. To say that didn’t lift your spirits for about half a second would be a lie. Sebastian brought the plate to your lap, waiting for you to start eating. At this particular moment, after seeing all those horrible pictures of your body, your appetite had gone out the window, but he was so smiley.
“After you eat, I want ya to shower.” Sebastian’s hand came up to your jaw, cupping it as you used it to chew the eggs. “We’ve got a long day of lounging and enjoying each other's company ahead of us.” Sebastian stood from the bed, throwing a wink at you as he left the room dramatically. You stopped eating soon after he left, the food tasting like ash on your tongue. At some point, you got into the bathroom, staring at the reflection in the mirror.
Your phone was in your hand again. The pictures flooding your Twitter feed. Shaky breaths left your mouth as you watched your reflection tilt its head. Tears began gathering in your eyes as it felt like you weren’t in your own skin anymore. You had worked so hard to be comfortable in your own body.
It’s amazing how just one picture can ruin everything.
You leaned forward on the countertop, hands holding up your weight. You shifted towards the mirror, examining every miniscule detail that your eyes could see. Your lids came down quickly, tears dragging down your cheeks. You squeezed your eyes closed, shaking your head back and forth.
“You are not going to let this get to you.” You took a few deep breaths as you turned on the shower. Not wanting to be around the mirror anymore, you kept your bath short, talking to yourself the whole time. By the time you left the bathroom, it was steamed completely, you couldn’t see your reflection even if you wanted to.
“He loves you.” You had a mantra and you continued to repeat it as you walked into your shared closet. “He loves all of you.” You pulled one of his old t-shirts off a hanger. “Sebastian loves you.” A pair of your underwear and his loose boxers covered your lower half. “Sebastian loves all of you.” You shoved your feet into a pair of fuzzy pink socks, leaving the closet still muttering to yourself. You tucked your phone into your waistband after checking your socials again. You know you shouldn’t have, but there was some part of you that just wouldn’t let you not.
The same shit covered your For You page on TikTok. Videos from the trailer of Seb and Shailene and then videos of you and Seb, comparing the two relationships. “They do fit well together.” You thought to yourself. A part of you wondering why Seb was with you in the first place.
“Did you say something, love?” Sebastian looked at you from the couch. A blanket was strewn over his lower half, his upper body inviting, waiting for you to join him. His smile dropped when he took in your glassy eyes instead of your usual happy expression.
“Oh baby, what’s wrong?” He started towards you, eyes running over your body for any outward injuries. An understanding look crossed his face when he saw your phone clutched in your hand. “Y/N, talk to me, baby.” Sebastian’s hands rested on your shoulders, lightly caressing your biceps. You recoiled from his touch, feeling uncomfortable in your own body.
“Just some stuff that some fans posted.” Seb’s thumb traced just under your eye, wiping away the tears. He held his right hand out for your phone, to understand what you were talking about. His brows furrowed deeply as he scrolled, not fully processing how destructive his fans could be. Sebastian always believed that they were the best fucking people in the world. He knew that they could be mean, but this was something else.
“They don’t know what they’re talking about, Y/N.” Sebastian’s voice was firm. It was almost strong enough to cut through the fog invading your brain, but not quite. You had officially zoned out. Dead to the world. Lost in your own thoughts. No matter how destructive those thoughts may be.
Sebastian noticed that you were already too deep, having experienced this with you many times before. He was aware that you were self-conscious, insecure, however you want to describe it. Your anxiety always got worse when you were stressed. Prepping for your dissertation was definitely a stressful time. Add on top of that, Sebastian was constantly pulling you from your work for various reasons. Had he contributed to this? Scratch that thought, he didn’t have time for that. He needed to bring you back down to Earth, back to him.
“Y/N.” His hands hovered over your hips. “I’m going to touch you for a second.” He directed you to the couch, settling on the coffee table in front of you. His fingers lightly traced circles onto your knees, as he assessed how he should approach this.
“Y/N. Baby?” Sebastian hesitated before bringing his fingers up to your chin, not wanting you to react badly. “I’m right here, Y/N, it’s Sebastian.” His left hand hadn’t left your knee, continuing to trace small patterns into your skin, giving you something to ground yourself with. He watched you blink and swallow harshly, inhaling sharply before opening your mouth.
“Why are you with me?” Your chin trembled with unvoiced sobs. “You deserve the world, Seb. I’m not even--” Your sentence was cut off by a loud whimper causing tears to start streak down. Sebastian wasn’t sure if this was a situation where you wanted him to be involved, so he waited for a sign.
“I’m not even worth a glance from you.” Your hand came up to wipe at your runny nose. “They’re so right. You need to be with someone like Shailene.” A bitter sob racked your body, making your body fold in half. Sebastian caught you before you hurt yourself.
“Y/N. I love you.” He always heard you say that to yourself when you thought he wasn’t listening. He knew that you suffered from anxiety, so he was always watching. Always paying attention to your little cues. The little things that he could use to help you as much as he could. “I love all of you.” He held one of your hands, running his thumb over the back of it.
“I don’t care what they say, baby.” He lifted your face to his, steel blue eyes locking with your cloudy pair. “I picked you.” He pecked your right cheek. “I want you.” A peck to your left. “I want only you.” One to your forehead. “It’s always been you, Y/N.” Another on your chin. “I love all of you, Y/N.” Sebastian landed a final short kiss to your lips, lingering for only a second.
“I want you to understand something, Y/N.” His gaze never left you. “I’m not going anywhere.” His brows raised as he hardened his voice. “I’m especially not going anywhere at the behest of my fans. I love them to death, but they don’t get to decide who I love.” Sebastian shifted to sit next to you on the couch. “Is it okay if I put my arms around you?” All he got was a brief nod in return, which was expected.
“I’m yours, Y/N. As much as you’re mine.” His arms descended around you, wrapping you in a loving embrace. You turned to face him fully, bringing your own arms around his waist, shoving your head into his neck.
“I’m sorry you have to deal with all my shit, Seb.” Sebastian almost missed your comment because you spoke into his shoulder and through loud snuffles. He backed away to look you in the face.
“I signed up for this, Y/N. I’m here for whatever we go through.” He tucked a stray hair behind your ear. “We go through ‘your shit’ together, Y/N. This is a partnership, a two-way street.” He looked at the weak smile on your face, heart warming slightly at the sight. His face turned serious, casting a glance at your phone on the coffee table.
“How long have you been sitting on this?” He knew how quickly your mind could twist things, so he wasn’t sure what to expect. You bit your lip, not meeting his eyes anymore.
“Just since this morning.” He held you away from his body, watching your expression.
“Is this why you were crying earlier?” You gave him a meek nod in response. “Baby, I thought we talked about this. We have to talk to each other when we think we’re going to go into a funk.” The two of you had talked about it before, but you didn’t think this was going to be a funk.
“I should’ve been able to just shake this off because I know you love me and you won’t leave me because of something that some people on the Internet say.” The words left your mouth before you could process everything, your mind quick to defend itself.
“It’s okay, Y/N. You don’t always have to be able to shake something off. We just have to keep each other in the loop.” Sebastian looked over your tear-stained face, pressing a kiss to your forehead again. “Let’s ditch the phones today. Just spend the day in each other’s arms, how’s that sound?” You smiled softly, nodding at the man in front of you. He got up quickly hiding both of your phones in the kitchen somewhere.
This definitely wasn’t a solution to dealing with your anxiety, Sebastian knew that. It also wasn’t dealing with the toxic people on the Internet, but you didn’t need that right now. You needed to be immersed in an environment that accepted what you were going through without judgement, Sebastian could provide that. Seb hummed happily when you snuggled into his side under the covers on your couch while he searched for a movie. He kissed the top of your head and he felt you smile against his stomach.
“I’m proud of you, draga mea.” You turned to face him, a confused expression lacing your features.
“For what, Seb?” He stroked your face with a single finger, mapping out your features.
“I’m proud of how you handle yourself. I’m amazed at how strong you are, even when you think you’re not.” He leaned closer to you, whispering his next words. “You’re my hero.” One corner of your mouth twitched upwards, not wanting to accept it. You rolled your eyes playfully, settling back onto his stomach before speaking.
“I love you, Sebastian.”
“And I love you, Y/N.”
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toomanyrobins · 3 years
Text
a little birdie told me pt. 10
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Summary: Y/N “Birdie” Parker left New York and her family three years ago in the middle of the night. Now, a call for help to her best friend brings her back into the fold of the Three Families and their “business”
Pairing: Steve Rogers x Parker!Reader
Content warning: physical abuse, miscarriage, mentions of forced marriage, mentions of alcohol abuse
Word Count: 1.8k
series masterlist // next part
Y/N was in the kitchen when she heard someone return home. She had been sitting at the kitchen island, staring down at a glass of whiskey. She had poured it to settle her nerves, but had yet to pick it up. Pepper walked in and immediately could tell that something was bothering her daughter. She saw the glass and slowly slid it out of Y/N’s hands, “What’s wrong? I thought last night was a success. Did something happen?” The younger woman nodded and refused to meet Pepper’s eyes. It didn’t take much for the intuitive woman to guess what was ailing her daughter. She nodded, “You finally realized you are in love with Steve.”
“I didn’t mean to be,” Y/N wailed as she slammed her forehead onto the island, “ow.”
“Why is this such a bad thing?”
“Because the last person I was with was a terrible person,” Birdie grumbled, “I had every intention of staying single forever to avoid feeling like shit every again.”
“Honey, that’s insane. Anyone with eyes can see that Steve is disgustingly in love with you and would move mountains to make you happy.”
“It’s just so soon. Too soon.”
“There’s no timeline for this kind of thing. When you know, you know.” Pepper laughed to herself, “The funniest thing is that when I confronted your father about the arranged marriage, he told me that the plan was for you and Steve to get married.”
Y/N shot her head up and nearly toppled off the stool, “What? He picked Steve for me? I—I have to go.”
Y/N was trying to keep her head on straight as she walked into George’s office. The entire drive over, she had tried to calm down and approach this with some levelheadedness. Before she could even sit down across from the desk, that plan was thrown our the window, “I need answers and I don’t think Dad will tell me everything. Why were you going to marry me off to Steve?”
George sighed and leaned forward, “First of all, I’ve told your father that you should’ve been told about all of this. The truth of the matter is that we needed stability in the families and this was a way to bring us together. HYDRA had started gaining power and your marriage was a way to secure some balance and open up channels that had previously been closed off to us. Also, we had seen the two of you together. You got on well. Why the sudden interest?”
“I don’t know if I can stay here. Apparently, everyone has decided I’m Jamie’s mom. No kid deserves to be stuck with me as their mother.”
He leaned back in his chair, “He really did a number on you.”
Y/N felt like the air had been sucked from her lungs but she tried to play dumb, waiting to see how much he knew, “Who?”
“You think I don’t know things, Birdie? I’ve got your medical records from your hospital visit. I know that your hospital visit wasn’t a one time thing. I know about the miscarriage. I may not know his name, but I will soon.”
“Ho—how?
“I'm a Barnes. A third of the group that runs New York. You think I can’t get information?”
“Have you told anyone?” They both knew who Y/N was truly worried about.
“I haven’t told Steve or Tony. You should though. I highly doubt they would be mad at you for anything,” his voice softened, “You were abused, Birdie. Nothing that he did to you is your fault.”
Her nails were digging into her palm, trying to focus on anything else, “I let him kick me in the stomach. I didn’t even try to stop him. What kind of fucked up, evil person does that?”
“You’re not evil. You’re hurting and have been for a while. I don’t think running will solve anything for you. Are you truly capable of leaving Jamie behind? Your family? Can you leave Steve when you love him?”
Y/N looked at her godfather, “I don’t love Steve.”
He laughed, “You used to be better at lying. He has always brought you back down to earth. I thought a match between the two of you would settle you down. Steve even agreed to it, but he stipulated that you had to go to college first and that you had to agree. He couldn’t force it on you.”
Y/N couldn’t believe it. She thought that he had just been hiding the marriage from her. Never had she considered that he knew he was her future husband, “He knew the whole time? Why would he want to marry me?”
“Of course, he knew. God knows why, because you were insane, and still are. He was ready to marry you. Clearly he thought you could make each other happy.”
“He didn’t tell me he knew it was him the whole time. I just thought he knew you were marrying me off.”
“Seems he wanted a chance to romance you all on his own, but you were gone before he got the chance.”
“This is so much information,” Y/N rubbed her temples.
George poured himself a drink, “I was like you for a really long time. I fought with my father every time I saw him, and I spent most of my teens and twenties drunk and alone. It’s a sad, lonely life that you have an opportunity to avoid. Take a chance, make mistakes. It’ll be worth it.”
Y/N sat there for a minute, trying to absorb all of the information that had been thrown at her. The office door burst open and Tony came in, “Good, your mother said you’d be here. I need you to do something.” Y/N’s nerves immediately felt like they were on fire. The moment her father had that look on his face, it was a problem, “There is a deal coming up and we need to present a united front. With the rumours swirling since your return, we’ve discussed and think the best move is for you to marry Steve.” 
“Tony—,” George tried to warn him that it wasn’t the time. The whole office was frozen as she absorbed the information. 
The laugh that broke the spell was harsh when Y/N realized he wasn’t kidding, “Oh my god. OH MY GOD! That talk about not wasting my life was just a load of crap.” She whirled around to Tony, “You will never learn, will you? I am not some piece of property that you can trade!”
Her father tried to walk closer but she stopped him. He continued anyway, “What is your objection to Steve, exactly? He’s a good man...mostly. We thought he'd be a good match for you three years ago and you are even closer now.”
Y/N started to walk towards the door but she turned, “I knew about your plans for me then. It’s part of the reason I left. You move people around like pawns and don’t seem to know or care that your choices affect us. All I’ve ever wanted is a say in my life and every fucking time I think maybe it’ll be different, you manage to prove me wrong. So congratulations, you continue to fuck it up.” She stared unblinkingly at Tony, “I think it goes without saying that I’ll be taking you up on your offer.” 
Y/N walked down into the Ivory bar on a mission. She found her brother in his usual booth with the group. She marched up to the table, “Evening, gentlemen.” They all nodded at her before she turned her attention to Steve. She planted her hands on the table, “Look here, Rogers, you can just move on to the next girl and stop wasting my time and yours. Do me a favor and lose my number. I’ll never marry you.” 
She didn’t look back as the men watched her through the window. She swung her leg over her bike and shot off. No one said a word and instead turned to look at Tony and George who had come down after her.
After she had left, Y/N pulled off near Central Park and parked. She wandered for hours until she bumped into someone. She had felt the weight of someone’s gaze for a while. Spinning around, she expected to see a familiar guard and was ready to tell them off. Instead of one of Tony’s men, it was the person who haunted her nightmares. “Better watch where you’re going, darling.” The voice made her blood run cold. Y/N was looking into the eyes of Brock Rumlow, the devil himself.
She stumbled back, trying to put some distance between them, “What are you doing here?”
“Looking for you. You think I’d just let you leave?” Brock grabbed her arm and jammed a finger into her stomach, “You’ve got my kid in there.”
She laughed in his face, “No, I don’t.” He gritted his teeth and tightened his on her arm. Y/N knew that she was going to have bruises later. 
“You killed our baby?” she shook her head, but Brock was blinded by rage. He shook her, “Don’t lie to me, you traitorous whore.”
“You beat me so badly that night that I lost the baby. There is no one to blame but you. And now, you have no claim over me.” Y/N wrenched her arm away, “You lose.”
“That’s where you are wrong, darling. What would Daddy Stark think of you running away to be with me? A member of HYDRA? Would they keep you if they knew the truth? You really would be a traitorous whore in everyone’s eyes.”
Y/N thought she was going to be sick. Brock was a member of HYDRA? She couldn’t believe she hadn’t known. This was so much worse than she could have imagined. “Stay away from me.” She turned and walked away.
He called after her, “I’ll be seeing you, baby!” The moment she rounded the corner, she took off in a run. Y/N’s thoughts flying as fast as she was down the streets. Once she was a block away, she cut off into an alley. She needed a moment to get her plan organized. As much as it pained her to admit it, Brock was probably right. If everyone knew the details about his connection to HYDRA, at minimum, she’d be exiled and never be able to see her family again. At worse, she’d be dead… a traitor to the Three Families. Y/N knew that there was only one thing she could do to make her position more secure and she hated it more than anything: she needed to marry Steve Rogers.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
@samwinter09
@founding-fuck-bois
@animegirlgeeky
@inlovewiththefictionalcharacters
@spntiel
@marvelofwitch​
@hollandstanevans​
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radiorenjun · 3 years
Text
cigarettes || kim doyoung
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➶ pairing: kim doyoung x reader
➶ genre: angst, established relationship
➶ word count: 2k
➶ synopsis: You and Doyoung keep having arguments because of your occasional smoking habit. To you, it’s just a cigarette. To Doyoung, it was more than that.
➶ warnings: swearing, arguments, shitty writing, mild ANGST, half-assed fic, character death, mentions of cancer, smoking addiction, smoking, mentions of drinking, bad reputation in high school
➶ a/n: big thanks to @lebrookestore for making this EXQUISITE HEADER
➶ based on the song Cigarette Duet by Princess Chelsea
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“It’s just a cigarette and it cannot be that bad.”
You rolled your eyes at your boyfriend, pulling out a cigarette from the package and a lighter from your back pocket. “Honey, don’t you love me ‘cause you know it makes me sad,” Doyoung frowned, crossing his arms over his chest with furrowed brows as he watched you walk to the balcony, lighting the cigarette up without a care in the world, ignoring his glare from across the room. 
Doyoung was worried for you. You had been starting to smoke cigarettes whenever you were too stressed as you, just like him, didn’t like to talk things out. You didn’t think much of it considering you were only smoking a few a week, but Doyoung had a far greater worry in his mind. He didn’t want you to get an addiction because of something utterly stupid. 
“It’s just a cigarette like you always use to do,” you rolled your eyes, taking a deep puff from the small tube. Doyoung grimaced at your words, letting out a small inaudible hiss under his breath . He turned his face away to avoid your eyes, sighing heavily. 
“I was different then, I don’t need them to be cool,” he answered rather hesitantly, his pupils avoiding your own as you let out a soft scoff at him. 
You both knew deep down Doyoung was only worried because he was scared that you were going to fall into the same dark abyss as he did back when the two of you were still in high school. Doyoung was previously a smoker himself. He hung out with the wrong crowd. He did many bad things in his youth, he did a lot of things he knew he shouldn’t. He was the first one in your relationship to start smoking, he had a really bad smoking addiction back then just for the sake of impressing his former so-called ‘friends’. 
And one of the biggest mistakes in his life was encouraging you into trying it as well. Of course back then you weren’t that interested but you did try it out under his encouragement, and ever since then you would take a few small puffs whenever he would offer it. But recently you had decided to try it out when you were at a bar at one of the frat parties near your community college, a couple months after Doyoung finally got over his smoking addiction. And now you couldn’t help but smoke a cig or two a week whenever the stress of college and work piles down on you. 
Doyoung sighed as he got up from his place on the couch to walk and join you on the balcony, wrapping his arms around your waist with a small pouting frown on his lips. He leaned his chin down on your shoulder and his head against yours, the sadness in his pupils sending small jolts of pain into your own heart. 
“I know, it’s just a cigarette but it harms your pretty lungs,” Doyoung mumbled against the fabric of your thin white shirt. (which happens to belong to him) You purse your lips, blowing out a puff of smoke as you look down at the view bestowed upon the two of you, eyes gazing up a the cloudy night sky. 
“Well, it’s only twice a week. So there’s not much of a chance,” you nuzzled your head against his lovingly, ignoring his puppy dog eyes boring holes into your skull as he watched you take another puff from the white cigarette. “I know, but one can turn into ten, y/n. You know that very much,” Doyoung pouted, tightening his hold on your waist as he moved his head to lean his cheek on your shoulder, pressing a small kiss to the space between your ear and jaw. 
“Honey, don’t you trust me? When I want to stop I can,” you reassured him, making both of your heart aches as he grew silent at the statement. 
That was exactly what he said back when he still had his smoking addiction. 
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“It’s just a cigarette!” you exclaimed.
Another pointless argument, another night of the two of you screaming at each other until your throats were sore. 
You were tired. Doyoung was tired. But you knew Doyoung wouldn’t stop complaining about it until you stopped smoking. And today he had found out that you had moved on into a more harsher brand of cigarettes, clearly he wasn’t happy at all considering it was way more addicting than the brand you were using previously.
“‘It’s just a cigarette’? It’s malboro light! This is going too far, you’re going to stop smoking permanently whether you like it or not!” Doyoung shook his head at you, his eyes glaring daggers into your own as you clenched your fist and gritted your teeth in anger. “It’s not that big of a deal, Doyoung!” you shot back, “ I don’t know why you’re blowing this completely out of proportion!”
“I’m not blowing this out of proportion. This is going to go downhill if you don’t stop. And even if I am overreacting is one measly cigarette really worth it if we end up fighting again?” Doyoung retorted, his expression filled with disbelief at how stupid you were being. Why can’t you just listen and try to stop? Your smoking count had gone up from two per week to five a day and it was getting way out of hand.
You groaned out of frustration. “I’m not going to argue about this again. I’m tired, it’s almost midnight. Can’t we just go to sleep and talk about it some other time?” you pleaded, wishing that Doyoung would drop the conversation again until some other day. Unfortunately for you, unlike the other days, Doyoung had enough of avoiding this conversation. He didn’t want to watch you walk down to your own death in his very own eyes.
He was in your position once too, you were just too stubborn to listen to him. He didn’t want you to go to the extent of smoking two large packs a day like he did back when the two of you were still in your first year of college. It broke his heart to see the person he loves the most slowly ruin their pretty lungs and the only thing he can do is try to convince you to stop every single day.
“No. This has gone on way too long and way too far, this is going to grow into a bad habit sooner or later. And you know very well that I don’t want you to get an addiction. Where the hell did you even get it? For fucks sake, it’s already bad enough that you’ve gone from 2 a week to 5 a week, it’s not healthy, y/n. You know that,” Doyoung rubbed his face with his palms, trying to calm himself down to keep himself from screaming his frustrations out. “It’s only a cigarette I got from Jamie Lee,” you huffed under your breath, looking down at your sock-covered feet.
Jamie Lee was one of the girls in your class who was quite infamous for bringing about scandals and terrible rumors as if they were handmade chocolates. If Doyoung wasn’t upset then, he sure is now. “Jamie Lee? You got a cigarette from fucking Jamie Lee?” he asked incredulously, removing his hand from his face to stare at you with wide rage-filled eyes. He was begging you to tell him that you were just joking, you were just pulling on his leg to ease the tension between you like you always do during arguments.
But no, you weren’t. The guilt in your eyes said it all.
“I’m going to give her a smack one day, dear god.” Doyoung groaned, pinching his nose to take a deep breath before continuing your argument that lasted until you decided to walk off to take a cig outside of your shared apartment at 2 am in the morning.
Doyoung stirred, his head hurt, and he wondered why he felt so tired despite the fact that he had just woken up. When he finally decided to open his eyes, pulling the blankets off of his body as he moved his feet off the bed. Yawning, he scratched the back of his head, hissing in pain when the pain in his head got worse.
‘It’s just a cigarette and I only did it once, Doyoung’
‘It’s just a cigarette and soon it’ll be ten, Y/n.’
He stood up from the bed, grimacing at the empty feeling in his chest as he made his way to the kitchen to get himself some water. Getting himself a cup of water, he stared hopelessly out of the window in front of him before walking over to the fridge, he scanned his eyes to see if he could make anything for breakfast with whatever condiments that are left. Rubbing the sleep away from his eyes, he let out another yawn before grabbing a carton of eggs.
‘It’s only twice a week, so there’s not much of a chance’
‘It’ll make you sick, Y/n. There’s not much of a chance.’
He felt tears gather up in his eyes when the silence in his ears became too loud, the empty feeling in his heart turning into a feeling of pain and despair. He rubbed his eyes before walking over to the balcony, trying his best to ignore the aftermath of his hangover. Raising a hand to give his temple a massage, he grabbed a lighter from the table near the balcony door and pulled out a cigarette packet from one of the drawers.
Lighting it up quickly and taking a deep puff, sighing heavily as he exhaled the smoke, feeling the empty ache in his chest decrease as the bitter smoke overpowered the throbbing ache in his heart. He wiped his eyes as he tapped the ashes on the ashtray nearby, his pupils dilating when he realised he hasn’t cleaned it in a while.
‘It’s just a cigarette, I’m sorry that I did it.’
‘It’s just a cigarette, you’ll be sorry that you did it.’
It’s been a couple of weeks since you passed away from lung cancer. Doyoung couldn’t even be there to tell you ‘I told you so’. He blamed himself for not trying his best to stop you. He blamed himself for your death. If only he didn’t encourage you to try your first cigarette back then in highschool, maybe then you’d be too scared to try one from someone else’s encouragement. If only he tried hard enough, if only you weren’t so stubborn.
If only you had listened to him. Maybe then you would still be by his side watching him cook. Maybe then he wouldn’t be sitting on the balcony with a cigarette in one hand and alcohol in the other, maybe he wouldn’t be so sleep deprived. Maybe he wouldn’t be feeling such a wretched ache in his chest. Maybe then he wouldn’t try so hard to hate you for bringing him into another smoking addiction.
“Doyoung.”
“Honey, can’t you trust me? When I want to stop I can.”
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connordavidscamera · 3 years
Text
Living, Learning, and Filming Ch. 4 | Connor Brashier
A/n: This chapter probably has the most changes because I hated it the first time around, so yeah.
Summary: No one thought a night out would end up like this.
Warnings: mentions of drinking, there’s a creepy guy who just doesn’t want to leave the reader alone (so keep that in mind), also mentions of being roofied (very minimal, but it is there) kinda angsty
Word count: 2.2k
***
Week 4
I didn’t want to come out tonight, let me just be clear. I wanted to stay in and work on the project because Connor and I filmed a lot these past few days. But my friend, Jamie, from down the hall wasn’t having it, which is why she forced me out of the dorm and to this “Halloween” party that I never would have gone to otherwise. I don’t like parties very much. I especially don’t like frat parties, which is where I’m at now. It’s crowded and nearly three-fourths of the people here are drunk off their asses. The rest aren’t quite there yet, but I give them about thirty minutes before they’re just as drunk as everyone else. 
The second we walk in, drinks are thrust into our hands; Jamie drinks hers without a second thought, I set mine down when no one’s looking. “I’m gonna see if I can find Rachel! I’ll be back!” Jamie says over the music and I nod, even though I know no one here and staying by myself in a place I'm not familiar with is not a good idea.
“Okay,” I say, but she’s already on her way to the back of the house. There’s so much going on around me and I hate it. It’s overwhelming actually, and there’s not a single place here that I can be alone - even the corners of the rooms are occupied. Mostly by couples unapologetically swallowing each other’s faces. 
“You look lost,” a guy says, suddenly appearing at my side.
“Oh, um. No, I’m fine.”
“You here alone?”
“Actually, my friend just went out back. She’ll be back in a minute.”
“Well how about I keep you company until then?”
“No, really, I’m okay,” I put my hand up subtly to keep distance between us.
“You gotta loosen up, babe. Come on, let’s get you a drink,” his arm snakes around my waist and my skin crawls.
“Thank you,” I say, squirming away from his heated, overbearing touch, “But I’m good. I don’t think I’m staying long.”
“Why not? We could hang out,” he says, wrapping his arm around my shoulders now and I hate it even more. He’s so close and he reeks of alcohol - in fact, he smells like he tipped over a liquor store. “I haven’t seen you at one of these before. I’m a bad host, not knowing everyone that comes.”
“I don’t really come to these things.”
“Why not? Don’t like parties?”
“You could say that,” I mumble, once again trying to create distance between us.
“Well, you’ve never been to one of mine. There’s nothing like them.”
“I’m sure.” I nod and glance around the room, trying to find literally anyone that I could possibly know that might be my excuse to leave this awkward and uncomfortable conversation.
The guy -  I still haven’t caught his name, but at this point, I don’t think he’s going to give it to me - places a cup in my hands. 
“What is it?”
“Rum and coke. Try it. You’ll like it.”
Something tells me that I shouldn’t drink it. And I know I should listen to that feeling, but I don’t because he’s staring at me and I can’t afford to be rude right now. So I take a sip. And one sip turns into another and another until I’ve finished the cup and he’s pouring me another one. 
---
There was something in it. I know there was, because I may not drink a lot, but I do know that I shouldn’t be this tipsy after only a drink and a half, even if he put two shots in each one. I know my limits, and what I drank wasn’t it. Luckily though, he didn’t put enough of whatever he put in my drink to do much - I’m just really, very dizzy.
I’m locked in one of the bathrooms in this suddenly giant house despite the abundance of people here. I can still feel his hands on me and I’m disgusted. Blinking slowly, I press the call button on the only number I can think of right now.
“Hello?” 
I close my eyes and rub my forehead. The fluorescent lights are doing me no favors.
“Y/n? Is everything okay?”
I take in a shuddery breath and grasp the sink to keep me steady. “Connor.”
“I’m here, honey. What’s wrong?” His voice is soft, but there’s something else behind it that I can’t quite place.
“Can you come get me? Something,” I stop for a second to try and gather my thoughts and he says my name, it’s soft, a plea. “Something happened, and I - I need you.” I say, my voice cracking.
“Send me your location. I’m on my way. Do you need me to stay on the phone with you?” I hear shuffling on his side of the line as I shakily type the address out for him. 
“Y/n, baby, talk to me. Do you want me to stay on the phone with you? No, never mind. I’m staying.” I hear a door slamming shut and the engine turning over. “Okay, I got your location. I’ll be there in five minutes, okay? Can you hold on for me.”
“Yeah,” I croak, trying so hard to focus just on his voice and nothing else. Not the loud music that’s making its way through the entire place, not my still crawling skin, or the growing bruises on my hips from where he held me so tight when I tried to back away from him for the umpteenth time. 
Connor curses on his side, “Fuck. I’m going to catch every red light, aren’t I? Y/n/n, you okay?”
“Mmm… very dizzy,” I whisper. 
“Focus on me, honey. Listen to my voice. You’re okay. I’m on my way. Okay? I’m two minutes away. I’ll run the next couple lights if I have to get to you faster. I’ve got you. Where are you right now?”
I hold the side of my head and lean against the door, “Um, one of the… upstairs bathrooms.”
“Okay, can you make your way outside? Or do you need me to come inside to get you? I’m a minute away.”
I nod even though he can’t see me. “I can go,” I unlock the door and the music is much louder, and I wish I just told him to come in and get me because the thrumming bass does nothing for my already compromised equilibrium. I stumble a little down the stairs, running into a few people as I pass. 
I’m just making it out the door when he catches me. “There you are. Where are you going?”
I flinch. “Just gotta get home,” I manage to say without my voice wavering too much.
He’s still holding my wrist, paying no attention to the definitely evident pain and fear in my eyes. “Yeah? Why’s that?”
God, is that the only fucking question he knows?
“Hey, hands off!” a voice says from behind me and I think if he wasn’t so close, I would have collapsed. 
“Who are you?” the guy asks, letting go of my wrist.
“That’s none of your concern.”
“Seeing as it’s my party, yeah, it kind of is.”
Connor hums, softly taking me by the hips. “Come on, love. Let’s get you home.” He wraps his arm around my shoulders loosely and I almost break at the contact. “Jesus,” he says, steadying me by both my waist and one arm going to my buckling knees. 
I’m barely able to pull myself back up, even with much help from Connor, but we make it back to his car with little trouble. Mostly because he’s doing most of the work, carrying at least three-fourths of my weight. He doesn’t ask if I want to go back to my dorm, which I’m grateful for because I definitely don’t want to be alone right now. He simply brings me back to his apartment and ushers me gingerly inside, keeping a safe distance, but not letting go of my shaking hand. We don’t talk; I’m not ready to. He doesn’t pry. 
After giving me what seems like gallons and gallons of water to drink - I might definitely be exaggerating. I’m pretty sure it was just a glass, but it felt like a lot. It took me like ten minutes to drink - he leads me back to his room.
“You can sleep in here. I’ll sleep on the couch,” he says after handing me some of his clothes to sleep in - his white shirt that says “sugar” all the way down the front. I’ve seen him wear it a few times and I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t fallen in love with it the first time I saw him in it. But looking back on it now, in a slightly less sober view, it might have been the boy inside it. But that’s a bridge we’ll cross at another time. 
“Con?”
“Hmm?” he’s looking at me like I could break at any second, and to be fair, he’s probably not wrong. 
“Stay in here.”
“You sure?” he asks tentatively.
I nod and push at my bottom lip with my tongue. “I don’t want to be alone.”
“Okay,” he says simply. “Is it - is it okay for me to hug you?” he asks tentatively. “I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.” 
“No, it’s okay. You can hug me,” I agree.
So he does.
I take in his scent - I’ve only known this boy for four weeks, but I already know his scent better than I know my own; he smells like home. He’s my security; that’s why I can’t stop myself from embracing the hug, holding onto his torso so tight he probably can’t breathe, but he doesn’t complain, doesn’t pull away. “I’m here, y/n. I’m right here. You’re safe. Nothing can happen to you now. I won’t let it. I promise.”
I nod, “Thank you.”
“Shh… don’t thank me.” his lips press into my hairline and he sighs. “I’m gonna go make you some tea. Change, get comfortable, pick whichever side of the bed you want. I’ll be back in a minute.”
---
Picking a side wasn’t really all that necessary when the minute he came to lay in bed with me I curled into his side and he gladly let me stay there while he rubbed my back in soothing circles. 
“Y/n?”
“Yeah?” I answer, focusing my attention on his steady heartbeat.
“Can we talk about what happened?”
I clear my throat and run my fingers over the silver palm tree that adorns his neck. “He put something in my drink… and he was just really handsy, especially when I tried pulling away…” I feel Connor stiffen beneath me. “He uh tried to-”
“Stop,” he pulls me closer and sighs audibly. “Jesus, I’m so sorry.”
“Not your fault,” I mumble into his shirt.
He finds my hand and plays with my fingers before lacing our hands and pressing a soft kiss to my knuckles. “I’m still sorry.”
We’re quiet for a while, so long in fact, that I think he’s fallen asleep. “Connor?”
“Hmm?” he hums in response.
“Last week, you said you wanted to kiss me but that the timing wasn’t right.”
I feel his chest rise and fall as he takes in a breath, “I remember.”
I sit up just a little, enough to see his face, but I quickly avert my gaze back to the necklace that I don’t think I’ve ever seen him without. “When would be the right time?”
He shifts and we’re both on our sides, staring closely at one another. “I don’t know.”
“Could now be?”
He doesn’t answer immediately. “I don’t know. I mean, with what just happened and… you’re not completely sober. I don’t want you to regret -”
“I want you to kiss me,” I interrupt him.
“Y/n,” he shakes his head. 
“Please. I know you don’t owe me anything else tonight or for the rest of your life, I just… I need to know what you taste like.” Well that’s embarrassing. “I mean, I don’t mean it like that. I - fuck. What I mean to say is-”
I don’t have time to retract what I’ve said because his fingers are on my jaw and he’s hovering over me, lips only centimeters from mine. “I know what you mean. You sure you want me to?”
“Yes,” I whimper, my hand reaching for the tufts of hair on the back of his neck. “Please.”
It doesn’t take much after that. His lips press mine once, softly, quickly - so quickly, I almost think I’ve imagined it. But then he does it again, longer this time. I can finally get my body to catch up with my brain and I pull him in, on top of me, and crash our lips together. He hums and kisses me a little harder, his tongue rubbing against my bottom lip. I gladly let him roam. It’s euphoric and I never want to stop kissing him. I want to stay here, beneath him, kissing him for as long as he’ll have me. Because this is enough, being connected like this, intimately, but not to the point of no return. Or at least that’s what my brain thinks. My hands, however, have a mind of their own as they go to rid him of his soft t-shirt.
***
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aizawaskittenwhore · 3 years
Text
𝐞𝐲𝐞𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐬𝐡𝐮𝐭
pairing: cartel!shota aizawa x fem!reader
words: 2.4k
warnings: swearing, this will be a cartel!au, so mentions of c*ke and distribution...yeah lol, suggestive content towards the end of the chapter (vague description of a bj), angst, cheating, aizawa just ain’t shit in this story LMFAOOO
a/n: this is the third fucking time i’ve tried to post this so if it doesn’t work i’m gonna cry. but I AM SO EXCITED FOR THIS ONE and i can’t wait for you all to see what i’ve got planned. so uh...strap yourselves in it’s about to get crazy. sorry ms joke </3
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𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐧𝐞: 𝐂𝐨𝐜𝐚’ 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐂𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐆𝐢𝐫𝐥𝐬
The salty, warm breeze from the ocean whipped its way through Shota’s onyx locks, tossing them around with a gentle force. Miami was gorgeous from the water, skyscrapers alight with the buzzing energy of the city, streets crawling with good food and even better looking women. Gorgeous full lips wrapped around martini glasses, criminally short dresses clinging to any skin it was given. He didn’t care much for the nightlife, opting to observe the partygoers from a distance.
He wasn’t here to socialize.
He was here to work.
His wrists draped over the edge of the rail that separated him and the water, a small portion of his weight against the cool metal. When Hizashi suggested that he get a yacht he nearly spat out his whiskey, face contorted in an expression of annoyance and disdain. Shota didn’t understand why someone would need such a flashy boat, it was merely a watercraft meant for travel and or fishing. This wasn’t the 1400’s where one’s worth was tied to the size of a man’s ship. Just another glorified pissing contest for rich people with too much money, and not enough couple’s therapy in the world that could keep them home for days at a time.
It’s not as if he was in any position to judge though, his pinky coming to rest just below the silver band that rarely inhabited his ring finger these days. He doesn’t entirely know what possessed him to wear it, whether it be the ever-crushing guilt from lying to his wife, or the text he’d received from Emi this morning that read:
“Make sure to bring me back a mojito! Don’t work yourself too hard, and remember how much I love you!💕”
If only she knew that these tri-monthly “Inter-Departmental Hero Conferences” were just fronts for selling a literal boat-load of cocaine.
Turns out, yachts were really good for that.
In the span of just five years, superhuman society was nearing it’s peak. Upon the graduation of all the students in the 1-A Hero Course, and Izuku Midoriya’s induction as the new Symbol of Peace; the world began to see an astronomical shift. Crime rates were the lowest they’d ever been, with Japan and the States sitting at 2 and 4.5 percent, respectively. Newly minted Pro Heroes roamed the streets, bringing security to those who needed it and striking fear into the hearts of those who were on the wrong side of the law.
But this utopia came at a price. With the sudden influx of fresh and talented pros, crime decreased exponentially, leaving little villain-based work for Heroes to get paid for. Hostage situations and evacuation efforts took backseat to helping older women across the street and assisting young children with their schoolwork. Soon enough, peace became a burden for those whose careers surrounded chaos.
Aizawa was no exception to this dilemma. Once Midoriya and his classmates graduated and obtained their Hero Licenses, he’d ended his tenure as an instructor at UA. He felt that he’d done his civic duty as a teacher and a Pro, and produced some of the finest Heroes the world would come to see. So he began to settle down. Surprisingly, he’d begun to tolerate Joke’s incessant laughter and boisterous personality, and soon fell in love with the eccentric woman. Between patrols and giving advice to aspiring Heroes at the community center, he and Emi explored all the the world had to offer; swapping out steel-toed combat boots for soft plush flip flops against hot sand. After three years he’d proposed, much to Emi’s delight (and Ashido’s upon hearing that Mr. Aizawa could actually tolerate another human being). The ceremony was small, and intimate. Shinsou serving as the ring bearer, and Eri as the flower girl. Mic even shed a few tears during the toast, though he’ll deny it if Kayama ever brings it up.
For a while, things were good. Life was good. Emi was glowing with the energy of a new life blossoming inside her, and Shota fantasized about meeting his little girl, counting all of her dainty fingers and toes, and doting on her for all to see.
Or at least it was, before agencies began to close. Paychecks got smaller and smaller. Heroes were struggling to find work and their pockets began to struggle along with them. With Emi on maternity leave, and Hero society coming to a standstill, things were looking grim. He needed to provide for his family, his wife, his children.
He needed a plan, and fast.
Luckily, Hizashi always did have good standing with everyone’s favorite Bird Boy. So he called in a few favors.
“Just for a couple months man! We stir up a little bit of noise, make a couple ripples and bam! Crime rate’s back up, and we get back to makin’ money. It’s temporary. Nobody will ever know, I’ll make sure of it. I got you.” Hizashi pleaded, an arm slung across Aizawa’s shoulders as he pensively gazed into his glass of amber liquid. He’d done some vigilante work here and there in his twenties but this....this was outright criminal. But what choice did he have?
Just a few months, he’d said. If only it’d worked out that way.
“I was getting worried you wouldn’t show, Eraser!” Zhu thundered, hands clapping joyously at the other man’s timeliness. “That’s some boat you got there, let me guess...the wife’s idea?” He queried, eyebrows waggling emphatically as Aizawa descended from the metal ladder and onto the wooden pier; eyes rolling into the back of his head at Zhu’s...excitable personality. The two had known each other for about two years or so, having gotten acquainted over the course of Shota’s many trips between Japan and the States, and sometimes South America. Zhu Kanaka was a man of the lower ranks, opting to use his easygoing disposition to negotiate deals for Takami “Lord of The Skies” Keigo, better known as Hawks. Standing at a solid 6 foot 4, with thick black locks that spiked into a point reminiscent of an onion, thick bushy brows and a set jaw, you’d think he wouldn’t hesitate to punt anyone like a football.
At least until he opened his mouth.
“As it turns out, Emi hates the damn thing. Makes her seasick. Hizashi talked me into getting the fuckin’ eyesore.” He intoned. His left hand palmed his slacks for the emergency pack of cigarettes he kept in his back pocket for when he was stressed during a deal, although he never really needed them anymore after Eri said she wanted him to quit. He still held on to them though, just in case. “The hell you waiting for? You know the deal man. Let’s see it.” He muttered, silently willing for Zhu to get on with it so he could get in a bed. Three and a half hours on a goddamned boat (that you didn’t even want to begin with) will do that to you.
“Someone looks like he needs a nap. Alright, I got ya. Count it, make sure it’s all there. I had Thing 1 and Thing 2 back there pack it, so you might wanna double check.” Zhu quipped, jerking a thumb towards the two young men currently engaged in a heated game of Rock, Paper, Scissors; the pair of them flushing upon receiving one of Aizawa’s infamous stares. Two thick black duffles were handed to his two bodyguards, the men immediately unzipping and checking the stacks, a mental tally steadily climbing higher and higher as they sifted through the cash.
“He’s good. Four hundred thousand in each bag. It’s all there, Eraser.” Sato affirmed, Toru nodding alongside the man. “Good. Go ahead and call Jamie, tell him to bring the car around. Zhu, I’ll send Sato and Toru to help your men unload our shipment. It’s a hefty one, so you’ll need the assistance.” Shota offered, shoulders visibly relaxing at the thought of getting some alone time in an empty hotel room.
“Yeah that’d be great, thanks! How long you in town for?”
“Until about 3pm tomorrow. I’ll be on my flight back to Kyushu then.” He states, right arm extending to clasp the other man’s hand in a firm grip. “You’re goin to that meeting the Big Man’s holding in a few days right?” Zhu queries. “Unfortunately, yes. Gonna miss my little girl’s first doctor’s appointment for this shit.”
“No way! She had the baby?!?!? Congratulations man! How’s it feel?” Zhu exclaims, eyes alight with joy for his friend’s new addition to the family. “Feels good. She had a smooth pregnancy, everything worked out fine. Hana’s beautiful, and healthy. I couldn’t be more proud.” Shota brags slightly, heart swelling at the thought of his little girl and how proud he was to know he’d helped in making someone so...ethereal. “Wow. Raising another kid, you flying out all the damn time, along with whatever else you got goin on?? No wonder you look like shit.”
Red eyes and floating hair caused Zhu to immediately retract his former statement.
“Aw I’m just joshin’ Eraser! But I hear ya. It’s a lotta’ sacrifices that go into this, but they’re who we do it for. All of it. Ya know?” Zhu amends, eyes shimmering with the reflection of the city lights off of the water.
Did he even know who... or what he was doing this for anymore?
Shota found himself asking that question more and more often as of late.
“...Right.”
“Anyway, you’re probably spent, so I’ll leave you to it. It was good seeing you man, send Emi my love!” Zhu shouted as he slowly walked towards the men unloading his boat. “Likewise. Tell Macie and the kids I said hello.” Aizawa responded dryly, body screaming for some kind of relief from this exhaustion.
“Will do! Oh, by the way! You might wanna bring some cooler clothes and sunscreen with your pale ass, I hear Guadalajara’s pretty sunny around this time of year! See you in a few days man!” The male laughed, throwing him a wave as he slowly disappeared into the darkness of the port. Massaging the bridge of his nose in irritation, Aizawa nodded in acknowledgement as Jamie pulled up alongside him; his hand reaching for the handle and dragging his siphoned body into the backseat.
Jamie could sense his employer’s weary expression, and didn’t make any attempts at conversation, merely opting to start making his way to the hotel while smooth jazz floated through the car. Forehead against the door of the towncar, Shota typed out a quick message to his wife:
“Alcohol is the last thing you need sweetheart, and I love you too. Got another meeting in a few days, mandatory. I’ll in be in Mexico, so I’ll miss Hana’s appointment. I’m sorry. I’ll make it up to the two of you.”
Sent.
The message sat for a few seconds before Emi read and typed out a response:
“Aw, bummer! </3 Dont worry, work is much more important right now. I’ll be sure to take lots of pictures!”
“You don’t have to make it up to us, you caring is enough. Get some sleep old man, me and the girls love you. xoxo, Wifey 😘 ”
He didn’t deserve her.
He didn’t deserve any of them.
This he knew. And yet, it didn’t stop him from responding to the unknown number that texted his phone every time he happened to be in town.
“Same time and place? Desperately in the mood to play....My toys just aren’t as good as yours, Eraser. ;)”
His heart sank. A beat passes. Then two.
Calloused thumbs move fluidly across the screen. He’s done this far too many times.
“Be there in 10. You know the routine.”
And in retrospect...he would’ve been way better off just blowing off Guadalajara and going to Hana’s appointment.
Because while he wrapped her slick ponytail around his hand, as a head that wasn’t his wife’s dipped between his legs, he didn’t think this would be his last moment of peace. Shoved down the throat of a woman who’s name he had long forgotten, settling for calling her whatever pet name he felt like adorning her with, her hands clawing at the soft and sleek cotton of his trousers.
Aizawa never anticipated that this would be the last time he would be in a room without immediate reinforcements, and be content.
The last time someone he didn’t trust with his life knew his location, and he wasn’t terrified.
The last moments of peace in his world before it all went to hell.
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Temecula, California;
1:36am
The office floor was barren. Dark, coffee stained carpet congealed with the bacteria of old and new; giving it a sad beige color from the creamy foam-like white it was when the building was built. Cubicles cluttered with miscellaneous paperwork from separate departments, all of it raining down from desk to desk like a fresh layer of snow on the first day of winter. Tired, weary hands typed at a computer with precision and accuracy, the warm glow from the screen illuminating the buttons on her blouse as she plowed through each document. Her body raged for a moment of rest, but she couldn’t give in. Not when so much was at stake, not when so much needed to be done in so little time.
After a few minutes, and approximately twelve sips of bittersweet lukewarm coffee, the fingers came to a halt. A sigh of relief was freed from her body as she pushed the enter button on the dusty, tan keyboard and began to pack up for the night. Since the computers were set on an activity timer, there was no need for her to physically shut it down. After 30 seconds of no visible movement, the screen flashed a message declaring that the activity would be suspended within the next 2 minutes if no motion was detected. Content with her work, she slung her work bag over her shoulder, and trudged towards the elevator, mentally clocking out for the night.
As the elevator slowly carried its passenger down, the computer continued its countdown before discontinuing its power, leaving the following words for nobody but its future recipient to read:
Drug Enforcement Agency Operative Travel Request:
Agent: L/N, F/N
Current Operation: Potential formation of a rising cartel under the leadership and or affiliation of Pro Heroes Hawks, Endeavor, and Eraserhead. Agent has been undercover for eight months and twenty-seven days.
Investigation Status: Active
Location of Travel: Guadalajara, Mexico
Reason for Request: Possible gathering of multiple Hero-Run plazas to discuss further movement. Will gather more intel and gain trust of suspects involved/acquire more resources for investigation.
Travel Request Status: Accepted.
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sunmoonandeddie · 5 years
Text
a vision in white
pairing: bucky barnes x reader
word count: 3,441
summary: Fucking Chad and fake champagne.
prompt: “And our love story? I know it may not feel like it right now, baby, but I promise you, it’s just getting started.” (This is Us)
warnings: swearing, angst with a fluffy ending
a/n: This is my first successful attempt to getting back into writing long form.  It’s also my entry for @softhairbarnes‘s challenge that was due, like September 18th.  I’m so sorry it took so long, and the prompt is bolded in the fic!
Bucky Barnes hated weddings.
Actually, no.  That’s not quite accurate because he loved Sam and Natasha’s wedding.  When Sam had asked him to be a groomsman, he’d actually cried.  In fact, he cried at least four times that day: watching Tony walk Natasha down the aisle, during the vows and the first dance, and then when he’d watched his girl catch the bouquet.
His girl.
No.
He needed to stop that.  You’re not his girl anymore.
It was that stupid bouquet toss that had caused him to panic.  It had sent him into a downward spiral as his anxiety reared its ugly head, telling him that he’d never have this with you.
It didn’t matter what the stupid tradition said.
Steve was standing near the front with Tony and Sam, mingling with your parents and having a grand old time.  He must’ve said something at least a little funny with the way that your mom had her head thrown back in a laugh.
That used to be him.  He used to be the one chatting with your family at events, his arm around your waist.  Your dad always called him ‘son’ and your mom fretted over whether he was eating enough while your older siblings gave him hell for keeping you away from them in New York City for too long.  He’d never thought he’d have a family in the twenty-first century, but yours had welcomed him with open arms.  Your brothers had become his brothers, your sister became his sister.
And then he’d fucked it all up.
And because of his fuck up, he was sitting in the back pew of a church, watching some asshole named Chad chat with one of his groomsmen while waiting for the ceremony to start.
The worst part was that it was all wrong.  This wasn’t the wedding you wanted.  He knew that for a fact.
First off, the church.  You never wanted a church wedding in the middle of August, damn it.  Everyone was sticky with sweat, even with the air conditioning on full blast, and more than a little miserable.
And there wasn’t…  There wasn’t enough flowers.  The only flowers present were two bunches of white tulips on either side of the altar.
Fucking tulips.  In white.  It was like you’d had zero hand in planning your own wedding.
Which, from the look of things, you probably didn’t.
There just wasn’t enough color.  It was all pristine white, as though trying to create some image of purity that he knew you didn’t have.  You weren’t some kind of innocent virgin like the whole church thing suggested.
The trip you two had taken to the Dominican Republic a few years ago had made sure of that.
You’d told him about the wedding you dreamed about in the middle of the night, between sleepy kisses and wandering hands.  The sheets had been kicked off at some point.  You’d tangled your legs with his, soft fingers brushing his hair back away from his face as you murmured into the crook of his neck, “I want a small wedding outside.  Just you and me and our family.”
“Yeah, baby?” He’d chuckled, drawing you even closer, if it were possible.  “Just us and our family?”
“Mmhm.  Don’t need anyone else.”
He’d hummed his agreement as he rolled the two of you over, leaning over you.  His forehead pressed against yours, your legs wrapped around his waist.  “What else?  Hm?”
“What do you mean, ‘What else?’” You had asked, his t-shirt riding up your torso.  You’d stolen it at some point, almost permanently becoming one of your so-called ‘sleep shirts.’
“Tell me about our wedding.”
Your bright eyes crinkled as you giggled, your fingers toying with the hair at the nape of his neck.  “Our wedding, huh?”
His fingers attacked your sides in retaliation, sending you into a fit of laughter.
“Okay!  Okay!”  You had allowed him to lie on your chest, his head resting right above your racing heart.  His weight was a welcome one, grounding you and keeping you in the present.  Just as Bucky had his demons, you had yours, too.  Your voice was soft and sweet, barely audible, as you continued, “It’ll be outside… in June…  And there’ll be flowers.  We’ll have so many flowers that no one will know what our color scheme is supposed to be.”
A laugh from your fiancé, your soon-to-be husband, pulled him out of his memories.  God, the smug bastard.
Part of him wondered if he even knew about your past relationship.  Granted, he had to.  You were together for so long, it would be strange to not at least mention him to your new lover.  Your fiancé.
Right?
Without a second thought, he stood up from the cold, hard pew and went through the double doors that people were still filing in from.  He didn’t care that he received more than a few dirty looks after bumping shoulders with a few people.  He didn’t recognize more than half of them.  Some of them he can vaguely remember from one of your family reunions.
He had so many questions that he needed to ask you.  He needed answers.
His invitation was crumpled in his hand as he searched the church, looking for any hint that might lead him to where the bridal party was getting ready.  He knew that he’d find you wherever that was.  Wanda and Natasha, too.
“Bucky?”
The familiar voice stopped him in his tracks, and he turned to see your older sister standing standing behind him.  Josephine, or Jo, as she preferred, was your only sister, the second born of five.  He had no doubt in his mind that she’d bawled when you’d asked her to be your maid-of-honor.
“Hi,” he said with a bit of a wince.  He knew how he looked right now.  Crazed.  Desperate.
She had a glass of what appeared to be water in her hand, but he could smell the vodka from where he stood.
Some liquid courage for the bride?
“She doesn’t like vodka,” he said, his voice barely audible.
Jo rolled her eyes, crossing her arms and crinkling the silky gray material of her bridesmaid’s dress.  “Yeah, well, she used to not like guys named Chad either, but here we are.”
He wasn’t quite sure what to say or how to respond at all, and just stood there with his mouth hanging open like a codfish.
“Come on,” she said, nodding further down the hall.  The first few feet were completely silent, their footsteps muffled by the old carpet covering the floor.  There was no way this church had been renovated since the seventies.
“She misses you, you know.”  She kept her eyes forward, refusing to look at him as she admitted things she’d sworn secrecy to.  “She won’t admit it to anyone but me, but she does.  We all do.”
His blue eyes drifted down to the cardstock in his hand.  It was white, just like the rest of your wedding, with you and your fiancé’s names embossed on it.  It was worn from the amount of times he’d folded and unfolded it in his anxious state.  “I didn’t expect to get an invitation.”
“She didn’t send it.  I did.”
It was said so matter-of-fact that he didn’t even register her words at first.  But the second he did, he tripped and almost fell flat on his face.  “You what?!”
“Oh, come on, Bucky,” she said, stopping in front of him.  “This…  This whole thing isn’t right.  I know you feel it, too.”  She motioned back down the way they came.  “This isn’t her.  She’s settling for someone that isn’t right for her because she thinks you don’t want her.  And I…”  Her eyes, the same brilliant shade as yours, drifted to the ground.  “I knew that if you came, it would mean that you still love her.”
“I—”  He ran his hand over his face.  “Of course I do.  But she deserves more than me.”
If Jo’s eyes could’ve rolled to the back to her head, then they would’ve.  “You’re both absolute idiots.”  She grabbed his hand and set the glass of vodka in his hand before pushing him towards a closed door.  “This is your chance to fix it.”
He looked at her once more before turning back to the door, knocking once.
“Come in.”
God, just hearing your voice in person for the first time in three years sent waves of affection through him.
The first thing he saw when he opened the door was your back.  You were sitting at the vanity in the room, toying with one of the pins your hair.
“Jo, can you help me?  This just… isn’t right.”
But Bucky was frozen by the door.  His mouth was suddenly dry and he had to fight the urge to down the entire glass of vodka in his hand.
“Jo, really—”  You turned in your chair, freezing when you saw him standing there instead of your sister.  “Jamie?”
You looked so… so shocked.  Hesitant.  Maybe even a little scared?
“Uh…  Hey, sweetheart,” he said, swallowing down the lump in his throat.  “It’s, uh…  It’s been a while.”  When you just stared at him, he held out the glass.  “Jo gave me this to, uh, to give to you.”
But you didn’t take it.  Your fingers were white from how hard you were gripping the back of the chair.  “What are you doing here?”
His heart was beating so hard he was sure his ribs were going to break like glass.  “You…  You look beautiful.”
And he wasn’t lying.  You were truly a vision in white.  The veil covering your hair was trimmed in delicate lace, framing your features in a way that made you appear almost angelic.
Your fingernails were digging into the palms of your hands as you finally stood up.  “James, what the hell are you doing here?”
“Jo invited me.”
You cursed under your breath, your eyes drifting up towards the ceiling.  “Fucking Jo.”
He took a step forward, a little scared of how you’d react.  His hands were trembling.  “I…  I…”  He cleared his throat as he desperately tried to gather his thoughts.  Rolling his shoulders back, he willed himself to have some fucking courage, damn it.  After what must’ve been an eternity, he finally allowed himself to meet your gaze.  “Listen, I could say a lot of shit right now about how sorry I am, and it’d be true.  Because I am sorry.  I was stupid and dumb and, and a lot of other words that I can’t think of right now because fuck, you’re right here and I…  I miss you.  I miss you more than anything in the world, and if I could take it back, I would.”  When you didn’t retreat, he took a few more steps towards you.  “I love you.  I love you so god damn much, and I never should’ve pushed you away.”  The vodka was rippling, his hand was shaking so much.  “You’re the love of my life, and I’d be willing to bet anything—in fact, I’d bet Steve’s life—that I’m the love of yours.”
“James—”
“Tell me that you love him,” he said, now standing just mere inches from you.  He set the glass on the vanity without breaking eye contact.  You could feel his breath gently fanning across your face.  “Tell me you love him and I’ll leave.  I won’t ever bother you again.  But, sweetheart, there’s no way he can ever love you how much I love you.”  His hand, calloused and rough, tenderly cupped your cheek.  “I don’t have any right to you, I know.  But I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t even try to make things right.  And our love story?  I know it may not feel like it right now, baby, but I promise you, it’s just getting started.”
Even though your eyes were watering, you didn’t step away from him.  Your cheeks had just gotten hotter and hotter the closer he’d gotten to you.  “What are you asking me, James?”
“Come with me,” he whispered, leaning his forehead against yours.  His voice sounded pained, his metal hand grasping yours.  “We can get out of here, go home.  Please.”
You took in a shaky breath, a million thoughts running through your mind.
“Say you’ll run away with me, sweetheart.”
“I…  I can’t.”
Bucky jerked away from you, feeling like a pot of boiling water had been tossed onto him.  “What do you mean?”
Nose scrunching as you sniffled, you reached out to him.  “Jamie, please…”
He backed towards the door, shaking his head.  “Don’t ‘Jamie’ me.”
Wiping at your eyes, you rushed to explain.  “I can’t just… just leave him at the altar, Jamie!  I can’t hurt him like that!”
“Why not?!”
You looked at him like he’d grown a second head.  “What the hell do you mean, ‘Why not?’  I’m engaged to him.  I promised to spend the rest of my life with him, and—”
“You don’t love him!”
The words died in your throat.  Your chest was heaving against the confines of your dress.  “I’m engaged to him.”
“That doesn’t mean shit,” he said bitingly.  His arms waved around dramatically as he spoke.  “You’re sitting here in a dress, about to give the rest of your life to an asshole—Which, by the way, really?  Chad?  You decided to marry an asshole named Chad of all things?—because you can’t hurt his feelings?”  He really wished he’d downed some of that vodka right about now, even though it wouldn’t really do much for him.  “Are you really going to throw your life away like that?”
You narrowed your eyes at him, trying to keep yourself from crying.  You were supposed to walk down the aisle in less than thirty minutes, and your makeup artist would kill you if you’d ruined her hard work.  “I…  I love him.”
Bucky stared at you for a long moment, hoping that you would realize what a mistake you were making.  But when it didn’t come, he let out a huff of air.  “You keep telling yourself that.”  He took one last look at you as he opened up the door, ready to leave.  “Have a happy life, sweetheart.  I’ll…  I’ll see you around.”
He allowed the door to shut behind him before the waterworks started, forcing himself to not go back in when he heard you crying.
Stupid super soldier hearing.
“Bucky?”
He looked up to see Jo standing there, the hopeful look in her eyes quickly diminishing.  “She, um…  She says she loves him.”
He knew that she could hear you crying even without a super soldier serum coursing through her veins.  Without even giving him a second look, she slipped into the room and out of his sight.  Your sobs seemed to get even louder when she entered.
Not able to withstand the torture that was being so close to you without being able to call you his, Bucky ran.
He left the church, grabbing a bottle of champagne that was sitting on the catering truck outside.
It would seem that your reception was to be in the basement of the church, of all places.
He didn’t even bother to tell anyone he was leaving.  After all, he’d ridden with the team to the church, and he didn’t want to have to beg one to drive him back to the Tower and miss the ceremony.  They’d actually been invited.
You wanted them there.  But not him.  Not after how badly he’d fucked up.
It wasn’t like any of them actually expected him to be able to make it through the vows, or even into the sanctuary.
He aggressively wiped at his eyes as he walked down the crowded streets of New York City.  “Don’t you have places to be?” He wondered aloud as yet another person bumped into him.
His feet knew where to take him before his mind did.
The 50 Street Station on Broadway.
The night you first met, you’d just finished a shift at Ellen’s Stardust Diner.  Your roller skates were sitting by your feet as you waited for the subway.  Bucky had just been wandering around the city and had somehow ended up across Manhattan.
He’d instantly been smitten with the girl working her way through university, and it had been history from there.
He sat on one of the benches, uncorking the bottle with little difficulty.
If anyone was curious as to why an Avenger was drinking in a subway station at noon on a Saturday, no one asked.
And in his nice suit, too.
“Oh, buddy, how the hell did you end up here?” He asked himself before taking a long swig from the bottle.  Some of the bubbling liquid dribbled down his chin and he wiped it on his jacket sleeve that definitely cost more than his childhood home back in the twenties.
He would kill for some of Thor’s Asgardian mead at the moment.
But he’d just have to settle for some second rate champagne that, honestly, probably wasn’t even real champagne.
“Probably made in America,” he muttered to himself as he inspected the bottle.
Sure enough, right there on the back under all the nutritional information, it said Made in California.
“Can’t even get real champagne for her,” he said to no one in particular.  No one in the station was paying him any mind, choosing to let him wallow in misery on his own.
Seven trains had passed by before he heard it.
“James?!  Jamie?!”
He imagined that right?  The wind from the trains was playing tricks on him.  Making him hear your voice.
An exquisite form of torture, really.
“Jamie!”
But it sounded so real.
Curiously, he lifted his head, the almost empty bottle dangling from his fingers.
And there you were.
Still a vision in white in your wedding dress.  Your veil was half torn off, your hair falling.  The hem of your skirts was dirty from the muck that covered the streets of New York City.  You held a suitcase in your hand, rolling your shoulder back to accommodate the weight and pressure of carrying it through the city.
“What are you doing here?” He asked as he got to his feet, the champagne forgotten.  He wiped at his eyes, desperately trying to appear more put together than he felt.  “You…  You are here right?  I’m not hallucinating or anything?”
“No, you’re not hallucinating,” you said as you set the suitcase down with a huff.
He blinked slowly at you, almost afraid that you’d disappear if he closed his eyes.  “I mean, you never know with fake champagne.”
“Shut up.”
He watched as you sat down on the bench he’d been occupying for a little over an hour and a half, crossing your arms over your chest.  “What are you doing here?”
“What do you mean, what am I doing here?”
“You’re getting married to Chad.”
With an eye roll that reminded him a lot of Jo, you kept your eyes on the approaching subway.  “Clearly not.”
He snuck a peek at your left hand, heart pounding when he realized that you didn’t even have your engagement ring on.  “Oh.”
You two sat in silence for a few minutes, not speaking.  It was so peculiar to be in the exact spot that you two had met seven years before.  So much had changed but at the same time, so much was the same.
He was still crazy about you, for one, and it would appear that you felt the same.
“I hate that you’re right all the fucking time.”
His heart skipped a beat and he finally turned to look at you.  “What was that?”
And despite how much you fought it, a small smile was tugging at your lips.  “Shut up.  You know what I said.”
“I’m not right all the time,” he said slowly, inching his pinky closer and closer to yours.  “I wasn’t right to leave you.”
“No, you weren’t.”
“I should’ve just told you that my anxiety was getting the better of me like you told me to.”
“Yes, you should’ve.”
He inhaled sharply as his finger finally brushed yours, and you allowed his fingers to intertwine with yours.
“Better late than never, I suppose,” you whispered, your eyes meeting his.
The silence between you was loaded with tension.  And the both of you knew that you had a lot of things to discuss, things to figure out if you were going to work in the long run.
But you were here and he loved you and you loved him.
And that was enough.
1K notes · View notes
quindolyn · 3 years
Note
hi love! I’m in love w ur blog, Could u do a marauders smut w an obedient sub james and a bratty sun reader and like punishment w dom remus and james? (sorry if that was confusing)
She’ll Never Learn || Poly!Marauders
Word Count: 3612
A/N: I kinda like this piece, we’ll see. In the course of writing this piece I was delayed a good hour because my laptop died on me and I broke my charging cable earlier today so that’s a whole shit show and I had to finish this on my school computer. That’s how much I love you guys. And a special thank you to everyone who bullied me, I still procrastinated for another 1-2 hours after that.
Warnings: face slapping, words like stupid and slut used, male penetration, exhibitionist kink, dom/sub, degradation, poly obviously, i’m tired please tell me if there’s any that I missed
Masterlist
Part 2
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The fact you couldn’t do it was half the fun. For you anyways, the whole thing seemed to make James nervous, he’d broken a few rules here and there before but never had he been so conscious of the disobedience he was about to take part in.
“Our Daddies are gonna be mad if they catch us,” James grumbled as you pulled him up the staircase to the boy’s dorm, dragging him by the sleeve of his school issued button-up. 
Had he put up any resistance he would’ve easily been able to cease your assent up the staircase, his body strong and toned from Quidditch but he didn’t, he allowed himself to be pulled up the stairs to the dorm room he shared with Sirius and Remus.
“Well neither of them have to know, now do they?” You asked him as you opened the door to their dorm which they kept tidy for you, knowing that you couldn’t stand mess.
As you kicked the door closed behind you and toed off your shoes you caught a glimpse of the boy’s face as he studied your form unabashedly as you started expertly undoing the buttons on your top before shrugging it off your shoulders and letting it pool at your feet.
“Come on Jamie,” You cooed mockingly as you strode towards him, his eyes glued to your breasts, “If they don’t know about this then we can have fun, it’s so hard with them sometimes isn’t it, with them getting in the way?” You watched his Adam’s apple bob as you played with the scarlet material of his tie, teasingly tugging on it. 
“But if they find out-”
You cut him off by pulling him down by his tie, melding your lips with his, though he was considerably taller than you he bent all the way down to kiss you, becoming pliable in your hands as you ran your fingers through his raven tresses.
Lacing your hands together at the back of his head, interweaving your fingers with his fluffy curls you pulled slightly, resulting in the man’s mouth to open as a gentle groan tumbled from his lips. You smirked into the kiss, knowing that you had won as you backed yourself up towards one of the beds in the room, you allowed yourself to sit when your knees bumped up against the mattress. 
“Want this off,” You muttered, clumsily working on undoing his tie until you were able to pull it off of him. “This too,” You said, already starting on the top button of his shirt.
Having pushed the pesky garment off of his broad shoulders you took a moment to run the palms of your hands up and down the smooth muscles of his muscled chest. Goosebumps rose under your touch as he leaned in towards you.
“Good boy,” You murmured, throwing your head back against the pillow, knowing that the praise would do just the trick to convince him to break the rules with you. Corrupting him, now that was also a part of the fun for you, little old Jamie would’ve never fathomed doing something like this if you hadn’t convinced him, there was just something so undeniably hot about the way you could so easily manipulate him. The way that with two simple words we was a whimpering mess with his mouth latched on your nipple.
You whined as he lifted his mouth moving it to the other nipple both at the loss of contact and then the new found stimulation.
James didn’t hear the opening and the closing of the door from behind him, too focused on sucking on the delicate flesh of your tit but you did, Remus and Sirius had caught you. Smirking to yourself you realized that if you worked the next ten or so seconds correctly you would be in for a treat. 
“Jamie!” You moaned, dramatically thrusting your chest up into his mouth, “Feels so good when you suck my tit Jamsie, making me so wet.” Deciding laying it on extra thick was only going to help your mission: you wrapped your legs around James’ waist and started thrusting your hips into his. 
“Can you believe these two?” The dark haired man asked his partner incredulously, “Did you give them permission to do this?”
At the sound of Sirius’ voice James jumped off of you, a guilty look gracing his face as he immediately dropped to his knees in front of them, not even wiping the spit from his mouth.
“No Pads,” Remus responded, his eyes on James rather than Sirius, a frown took over his face as he moved his gaze to your half naked form, “Did you?”
“Nope,” Sirius replied, popping his p as he stuck his hands into the front pockets of his trousers, lazily sauntering over to where James sat subserviently on the ground, “Thought you were my good boy Jamie, what happened?” He asked in a sickly sweet sort of voice that had James in a puddle at his feet and you rolling your eyes back in your head, not noticing Remus’ piercing gaze set on you. If you paid close enough attention, the tension radiating off the man was suffocating but Remus had always been able to blend into his surroundings, making it all the more startling when he pounced.
James’ response came in the form of a pathetic little whine as Sirius turned his face up to meet him with his index finger, the boy was malleable in the other man’s grasp. 
“Come on, answer Daddy’s question, don’t be a brat,” At the very mention of the word brat James’ eyes snapped up to Sirius’, that was his worst nightmare, being a brat, failing either Sirius or Remus. It terrified him, and Sirius knew James like the back of his hand. 
“M’sorry, m’so, so sorry I didn’t want to break the rules but (Y/N) said that it would be okay, that we wouldn’t get caught and then she kissed me and-” He rambled, his hands nervously tumbling about each other in his lap, his gaze never wavering from Sirius.
“Pathetic slut,” You swore, stalking off from the bed to where Sirius stood in front of James, “You were just as into it as I was, both of us broke the rules don’t try to back out now, don’t be a bad boy Jamie.”
You opened your mouth to continue but you were cut off by a sharp slap to the side of your face as Sirius’ hand met your cheek.
“Ow,” You whimpered, clutching the side of your face in your hand as you glared at Sirius, taking a step back towards the bed, “What was that for?”
“Oh don’t act stupid, you know that you get punished when you break the rules Puppy. And calling James a bad boy,” His eyes softened as he tore them from you, moving them to gaze down at the boy who still knelt at his feet, “You’re not a bad boy are you Jamie?”
He shook his head silently, eyes locked onto Sirius’.
“He’s acting like one, throwing me under the bus,” You grumbled, still rubbing the side of your face. 
“Did anyone say you could talk?” Remus questioned you, his voice oddly calm as he strode towards you, in no time at all reaching your body.
He raised a hand to the side of your you were clutching, coaxing away your hand to replace it with his own. He ran the palm of his hand over the flesh before pulling it back to bring it against your face, more harshly than Sirius had.
The action pulled a whine from your throat as your flesh was abused by the calloused palm of Remus’ hand. In a second he had adjusted his hand so that it was gripping your jaw, using his hold on you there to tug your entire body closer to his person.
“You really expect us to fucking buy that,” He squished your cheeks together harder and harder with every passing second, “Jamsie has always been our best boy, you on the other hand Puppy, you’ve got a bit of a bratty side to you.”
“It’s not fair,” You tried to wiggle yourself out of Remus’ grasp, moving your hands to grapple at his wrist, trying to pull away from him but he was unmoving, not only being much taller than you but much stronger than you, your efforts were in vain, “He broke the rules too, he’s not your good boy he’s a fucking slut!”
“That’s it!” Sirius’ voice rang through the dorm, still positioned next to James who still sat on the floor now with his fingers entangled in the other boy’s dark curls, “On the bed, now.” His command left no room for argument as Remus let go of your face, but you just stood there, not moving until he gave you a not so gentle nudge towards the bed you had previously been seated upon.
You had to stop yourself from trembling as you sat upon the bed, it wasn’t that you were scared. No, this was exactly what you had hoped for, you were giddy.
“If anyone here is desperate, puppy it’s you, look at this,” Sirius sneered, pushing your legs apart so that your bare pussy was on display, just as you had forgone a bra you had decided to go without panties, anticipating this moment. “No panties,” He tutted, crouching down so that he was level with your pussy as he boldly ran a finger through your sopping folds, “You planned this didn’t you?” HIs eyes darted up to meet yours and with a single glance he knew.
“Course she planned it, Pads,” Remus chimed in from where he leaned against the frame of one of the other beds, “Are you just now figuring that out? Our puppy thought she could break the rules and we’d make her feel good, thought she’d enjoy her punishment.”
As his words washed over you you felt a wave of disappointment, they weren’t going to give you what you wanted.
Sensing your disappointment Sirius recaptured your jaw in his hand, “Don’t pout baby, you’re gonna take your punishment like a good girl, yeah?”
Putting on your best “James face” eye wide and pleading, lips pushed out in a small pout, head cocked to the side you extended a single hand to grope at Sirius’ crotch, squeezing his clothed member in the palm of your hand.
“Daddy,” You begged, knowing that you were breaking another rule, touching them without permission. 
Remus rolled his eyes and was at your side in the blink of an eye, wrenching your hand away from Sirius’ bulge, “You know you’re not allowed to touch without permission,” He scolded as though he was bored with your insolent behavior. “Did you forget?”
“No, Daddy,” You shook your head looking up at him as Sirius’ adjusted so that your head was turned towards the other man.
Remus’ hold on your wrist tightened, “Oh, so you just decided to break the rules?”
You stuttered, not quite sure how to answer his question, “I-I…”
“That’s what I thought,” He spat, letting go of your wrist so that it could land on your thigh, not bothering to look over his shoulder he spoke to James, instead keeping his eyes on you, “Jamie, can you pull up the armchair for me?”
Rushing to obey, James squeaked out a small “yes” before pulling the aforementioned chair to the foot of the bed before redirected by Remus to place it by the side of the bed. You couldn’t help but ogle the boy as he moved about the room, well developed muscles rippling under his skin as he stretched and twisted his body.
“Up,” Remus ordered you with a flick of his wrist towards the chair you were pulled from your seat and dragged to the chair by some invisible force. With another flick of his wrist you were positioned to his liking, legs spread and thrown over the arms of the chair, arms linked together behind your back and as you tried to tug yourself out of that position you found you were immobile. Remus and his fucking talent for wandless magic.
“I’m uncomfortable, Daddy,” You trilled, trying to move in your seat and failing tremendously. 
“What did we say about talking?” Sirius scoffed at you undoing the buttons on his uniform shirt one at a time until he was able to shed his clothing.
“Jamsie, could you grab me a vibrator, the purple one?” Remus asked as he too rid himself of his shirt.
Being the dutiful boy he was, James promptly handed Remus the small clit vibrator who idly played with the switch, turning it on and then back off for a few seconds before his stern gaze lifted to your form and a small smirk graced his face. 
“Pads?” The werewolf turned to look at the boy, “You wanna do the honors?”
Sirius grinned like an idiot as he slid the toy from his lover’s hand, slipping it onto your clit before turning it on, placing a light sticking charm on you as to ensure the toy would stay put. 
“No cumming unless we say so, do you understand Puppy?” Everything about him from the tone of his voice to his eyes mocked you as he spoke, letting you know he was having way too much fun with this.
You managed a small nod but couldn’t help but jolt at the sudden pleasure that coursed through you as the vibrations of the vibrator stimulated your clit. If you had been physically capable you would’ve bucked your hips up but that being impossible left the pleasure to only fester more as the itch to move intensified the ecstasy setting deep in your bones.
Being so distracted by the stimulation on your clit you almost missed as Remus took James’ face in his hands and meshed their lips together, pushing his tongue into the smaller boy’s mouth, Remus dug his hands in his hair. The moan that James released as Remus tugged on his locks must’ve made Sirius feel left out because in a second he was behind the two boys tugging Remus’ face away from James’, interlocking his lips with the taller man’s, he replaced Remus’ hands in James’ hair with his own.
“Daddy,” You whined, not addressing either of them particularly just wanting attention. 
“Shush, they’re giving me attention right now,” James said to you, looking to the other two boys for approval at his show of dominance.
Remus granted such, pulling away from his kiss with Sirius to extoll him, “Good boy Jamie, putting Puppy in her place.”
Getting the approval he craved at all times a gigantic grin cracked across his face, “May I touch you Daddy?” 
“Yes you may, good boy.”
Not wasting a single second, as eager as ever, James lunged towards the larger boy, attaching his lips to his pulse point, gently sucking small marks that bloomed in brilliant shades of blue and purple along the side of his neck.
The distinct clink of metal drew your attention to Sirius where he stood undoing his belt allowing him to drop his trousers, leaving him only in a pair of dark grey boxers which proudly displayed his prominent bulge. 
Sirius didn’t even spare you a glance as he moved back towards the pair, pressing his erection against James’ back while shamelessly groping his firm ass. James threw his head back onto his shoulder, abandoning Remus’ neck as the erection pressed into him and the hands on his ass overwhelmed him.
“Want inside him Rem,” Sirius groaned while he laved his tongue up and down the expanse of James’ neck, “Need inside of him,” He corrected himself.
“You think you’re ready for us Jamie?” The lycanthrope murmured in his ear, “Are you ready to take our cocks.”
Despite your most valiant efforts a moan escaped from your mouth at Remus’ words, watching James get fucked was one of your most favorite things, he was so beautiful stretched out on one of their cocks, a sobbing, moaning mess as he was split in two. But usually you got to touch him, or Remus, or Sirius, or at the very least yourself. 
The idea of not being able to touch yourself was absolute hell. Throw in the vibrator attached to your clit and your explicit order not to cum you were absolutely fucked as pleasure began to simmer in the pit of your belly, making your orgasm seem less and less far off.
You watched, practically drooling, as your boyfriends disrobed allowing their hard cocks to spring out against their stomachs, each distinctly different from the other but completely mouth watering in their own way. Your boys were perfect, all the way down to the tips of their pricks but something about seeing them in all their perfection and not being able to touch them made you a surprising mix of angry and turned on. Especially when you considered that it was them who had put you there, tied up and horny.
“Can I join Daddies, pretty please?” You begged as you watched James situate himself on the bed on his hands and knees, pushing his ass back towards Remus who was settling in behind him. “I’ll be a good girl I promise!”
“You wanna be a good girl?” Sirius mocked, pumping his cock in his hand to get it harder.
You nodded your head pathetically, giving Sirius the best puppy dog eyes you could muster with the haze settling into your mind.
Remus spoke before Sirius could, his eyes focused on the pool between your legs, “Can’t take you seriously when your pretty pussy is on display for us like that, makes you look almost as pathetic and desperate as you are.”
You groaned at the degradation, turning back to Sirius, even if he did agree to free you you would still need to convince Remus but it would at least be a start.
“If you wanna be a good girl you’re gonna sit there and be quiet while you watch us fuck Jamsie.”
Feeling defeated you wished you could drop your head into your hands, but the full body bind that had been placed on you made it hard to so much as blink.
You watched, despite yourself really, with bated breath as Remus pushed into the warmth of James’ opening, having used a lubrication spell to prepare him. The moan that the boy released went straight to your pussy and made it hard for you to think clearly as you watched him drop from his hands to his elbows before Sirius helped him back up so that he could push his cock into his mouth.
Screw waterboarding, this was a special kind of evil, cruel and unusual. With every sound of skin slapping against skin, the wet gagging noises that came as Sirius forced his cock further and further down James’ throat accompanied by the vibrator still stimulating your clit, it had your body going into overdrive to work to suppress your oncoming orgasm to the point where is was painful.
Before either of your three boyfriends showed any signs that they were even close to their orgasms you were screaming, “Please let me cum, I’ll be a good girl I promise please! I’m so sorry, please forgive me!” 
You sounded piteous.
“Shut up,” Remus threw at you as he picked up his pace in thrusting in and out of James, drinking up his moans like they were the only things keeping him going.
“Please, I’m gonna cum I can’t stop it please!” You cried out, tears rolling down your face at the effort it took you to suppress your climax. You weren’t lying, your orgasm was approaching you without remorse and no matter how hard you tried to fight it, it was by far a losing battle.
You held on for as long as you could, trying to use the lights and sounds in the room to tether you but before you were completely overwhelmed by the pleasure boiling up in your stomach and rising up your spine you screamed, “I’m so sorry, I’m so so sorry Daddy, wanna be your good girl!”
As most of your orgasms were this one was absolutely overwhelming, flooding your senses with pure, unadulterated pleasure until all you could focus on was the warm feeling that washed over you and the ache in your cunt as the vibrator continued its assault against your pussy.
The added stimulation made it harder to come back as your climax subsided and the noises and voices that had once sounded muffled, as though you had been under water were clear as they reached your ears.
The first thing you heard as the fog began to lift from your head was a familiar but far off voice, “She’ll never learn will she?”
“Doesn’t look like it.”
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