#jaskier/aiden/lambert

[thedemonofcat]

The first witcher Jaskier met besides Geralt was Aiden, a member of the Cat School, who had been hired to assassinate him.

Technically speaking, Aiden's contract was to eliminate the Viscount of Lettenhove, but he was taken aback to discover that the target was actually the same Bard who sings about the witcher he'd heard so much about.

Instead of fulfilling his contract, Aiden and Jaskier found themselves sharing a rather pleasant picnic.

Geralt, unaware of this turn of events, is frantically searching for the Cat witcher who he believes is out to kill his Bard.

At the same time, Lambert, having heard that his fellow witcher is intent on hunting down his dear friend, is racing to find Geralt to prevent him from killing Aiden.

[0dde11eth]

Poor vesemir, he tries to give his pups life lessons beyond being a witcher, but this is the kaer MORONS we are talking about. The following occurs when they are all trying to make dinner one evening.

Papa vesemir: ok boys familiarize yourself with the spices, these can make walking the path a little nicer, as you can look forward to a delicious meal at the end of a rough day

So they go over to the spice rack to read the labels.

Eskel: basil, oregano, cilantro (yuck), coriander, thyme, paprika...

Geralt: hmm, ground pepper, sounds spicy. Hmm, not sure I like the sound of garlic, seems spicier...

Lambert: cinnamon, nutmeg. Cum? DRIED CUM!?!?!

Eskel: what?? Cum?? Is this a prank??

Geralt: did jaskier put you up to this??

Lambert: I'm not fucking eating dried cum!!!

Papa vesemir: Its CUMIN YOU IDIOTS. that's it! Everyone out of my kitchen and go run the walls, everyones getting plain boiled potatoes for the rest of the week!

Geralt: yay! Finally some good food!

Papa Vesemir: OUT!!!

Jaskier (in the background): *dumping a mouthful of the dried "cum" in his mouth and then gagging* that's NOT CUM!

Papa vesemir: *internally* I bet guxart doesn't have this problem with the cat witchers

*** across the continent at the cat caravan***

Aiden: *gagging* that's NOT CUM!

Guxart: *internally* I bet vesemir doesn't have this problem with the wolf witchers

[fandom-junk-drawer]

What Jaskier sees daily as he wanders the grounds of Kaer Morhen

(Vesemir is crying in a corner somewhere because his sons are idiots)

[geraskierfanficprompts]

Prompt 63

After The Mountain™, Jaskier is desperate to prove himself a Worthy Travel Companion™ to Geralt, so he decides to take up alchemy. Perhaps if he gets very good at brewing Geralt's potions, Geralt will find him worthy of keeping around. When Geralt takes Jaskier to Kaer Morhen, he can't help but notice that Jaskier is suddenly spending every possible second with Lambert. LAMBERT. I mean, he loves his brother, don't get him wrong! But Lambert? Geralt's words were cruel, and he was still working out the full apology he wanted to give Jaskier (He deserved better than just an "I'm sorry") but he's worried that he's already lost his chance, as Jaskier is seemingly finding himself a new witcher.

[help-help-i-need-an-adult]

[shy-urban-hobbit]

Due to his school being a little more diverse in the contracts it accepts (assassination, theft, etc), you can bet Aiden's going be a pretty passable actor, or at least have some decent improv skills when the occasion calls for it. Jaskier is a bard and a spy - enough said.

So, picture the two of them engaging in a friendly one upmanship of situations they've had to bullshit their way out of while Lambert and Geralt just sit listening in mute horror and strongly considering child harnesses for their SO's because 'fucking hell, how are these two actually still alive??!!?'

Geralt: I'm never letting you out of my sight again.

Jaskier: I know Love. Finish your porridge.

Lambert: Wait, that was when....where the fuck was I during all this?

Aiden: I snuck out when you were occupied at the Inn. We weren't even fucking at that point and you looked like you were getting somewhere with that Skellige bloke, I didn't want to interrupt. Besides, it should have been just a quick in and out.

Jaskier: Is that what Lambert said to the Skellige bloke?

*Lambert starts spluttering and choking around his mouthful of small ale while Aiden just about falls out of his seat he's laughing so hard.*

[letmelickyoureyeballs]

Witcher Fic Recs

Wanted to make a list of some of my favorite Witcher fics! Most of these are not Jaskier/Geralt, but I did add some, and they are just as good! A lot are also Explicit, and some need an AO3 account to access. Feel free to message me if you want your work taken off this list.

*I do not claim any of these fics as mine, and I give all the credit to the original authors*

"Bat Out of Water" by @tafkamayle One of if not my favorite Witcher fic! 65k words, Explicit, Jaskier/Geralt Jaskier/Eskel Jaskier/Lambert, Vampire and Pirate AU

"The Songbird of The Cats" by @ohwhoopsok I've read this one so many times I cannot recommend it enough! 28k words, Mature, Jaskier/OCs Jaskier/Aiden Jaskier/Lambert, Jaskier becomes the School of the Cats new obsession, little non-human Jaskier

"The Shape of Love" by @jaskierswolf 17k words, Teen and Up, Shifter AU, Geralt/Jaskier, there's a bunch of works in this series and they're all great!

"Fateful Red" by @tafkamayle again, 16k words, Explicit, Jaskier/Geralt, Soulmates and No Powers AU, I love this one so much!

"That's my Jam(bert)" by @greenbirddraws/GreenBird, 14k words, Explicit, Jaskier/Lambert, I love them together so much!

"So Tight I'd Bruise You" by @sweetpeapod 496 words, General Audience, Jaskier/Lambert, little hurt/comfort and soft Lambert

"Cat Up A Tree(Going Down on a Witcher)" by Hallianna, 10k words, Explicit, Aiden/Jaskier/Lambert, love this one a lot!

"Bring Your Hunger" by @sweetpeapod again, 2k words, Teen and Up, Jaskier/Lambert, teasing and fluff

"Take a Chance on Second Chances" by Caelanmiriel, 9k words, Explicit, Jaskier/Lambert, some courting rituals

"Fingertips" by @ohwhoopsok again, 3k words, Explicit, Jaskier/Lambert, Lambert can't get hard, some fluff, this one is super sweet!

"to the wolves" by @besselfcn 1k words, Mature, Jaskier/Lambert/Eskel/Geralt, Past SA, hurt/comfort, revenge, past Valdo/Jaskier

"I Just Want to Feel You" by @stfustucky 6k words, Explicit, Jaskier/Geralt/Lambert/Eskel, Geralt and Eskel fuck up some aftercare so Lambert has to make things right, super sweet one!

"Soap, and the Scents of Home" by @round--robin/round_robin 32k words, Explicit, Jaskier/Geralt/Eskel/Lambert, lots of touch-starved Witchers, Scent kink, an amazing series!

"5 Times Geralt was Cat-Like (+1 Time He Was Wolf-Like)" by @xrdragonix 2k, General Audience, Geralt/Jaskier, Wolf and Cat traits, super cute and wholesome!

If you enjoyed any of these please let the authors know with comments, kudos, and/or bookmarking it!

[whywouldisayprinter]

Three wolves, a cat, a griffin and a bard walk into a hotspring…

[ilikebigants]

New headcannon: most Witchers don't have a lot of sex. The rumour that Witchers are really sexually active was started due to Vesemir's slut era and was solidified due to Geralt's escapades.

Everyone else has depression and can't get it up

[blooms-in-april]

Lambert smiles, sharp and ugly, "I know who you pretend I am."

Jaskier doesn't deny it. They both know he can't.

"Touche" he says lightly, skimming his fingers across the strings. Lambert can see the marks of his own nails in his back. He's bleeding faintly. "Remind what his name was again?"

Lambert sits up sharp in bed. "Don't you dare."

"Oh, Aiden, right?" Jaskier strums a chord. The name sounds like music in his mouth. "Aiden. Aiden at night, Aiden in the morning. Aiden in your breath and your tears and your mouth, Aiden so deep you can't claw him out."

"Get that name out of your mouth, bard," Lambert says. "Before I break it."

There is no fear in those blue eyes, no pity. Only a cold understanding. "Leave my wounds and I'll leave yours."

"Don't compare us." Lambert snarls.

"Why not?" Jaskier says. "We're exactly the same. That's why this works."

"My brother's alive."

Jaskier smiles, and there's something broken and desperate in it, like a shattered mirror. Lambert wonders if he looks like that, if it shows on his face in the same way.

"Yes, Geralt's alive. He's here, but I don't have him. I never had him. I will never have him. You had Aiden. All you had to do was be brave."

"Don't have him anymore." Lambert says.

"No." Jaskier responds. "Why else do you think we're here?"

[thedemonofcat]

It's winter in Oxenfurt, and Jaskier is spending these months working as a professor at the Academy. One night, he finds a cat outside in the cold. Not wanting the animal to freeze, Jaskier decides to take him in.

In some ways, the cat reminds him of Geralt.

When spring arrives, Geralt comes to fetch Jaskier, temporarily accompanied by Lambert. Jaskier's cat persistently meows at Lambert.

Unbeknownst to everyone, Jaskier's pet cat is actually Aiden, a Witcher.

[0dde11eth]

Lambert: here, i made you a shiv out of an old knife

Jaskier: You don't make shivs out of those. You make them out of rusty spoons

Aiden: Or shards of glass

Jaskier: Or Toothbrush handles!

Papa vesemir: Or a human femur!

Jaskier: Yeah, exactly, get creative

Lambert: well now I'm keeping it *grumbling under his breath about ungrateful bards*

[fandom-junk-drawer]

What Jaskier sees while watching the Kaer Morons do repairs to the Keep.

[spielzeugkaiser]

Hi! So.... How is Zombie!Aiden doing nowadays? (As you can tell, I've found your necromancer au, and I'm hooked)

A continuation of this from my necromancer!au. With the skeleton guys in the beginning (something that this Jaskier doesn't remember) it was more lighthearted. And it isn't the first time that corpses start to get reanimated it Jaskiers proximity too, but this time he pulled Aiden out of the afterlife and well- this is more of a warm bodies scenario and he is under Jaskiers thrall, if Jaskier likes it or not. lambert is so not going to be amused

[geraskierfanficprompts]

Prompt 52

Jaskier is running away from his abusive home, cutting them all off without a word, and disappearing into the night to move to somewhere with a better future for himself. Only issue? He has no car, or money. So he sucks it up and tries hitchhiking, regardless of all the horror stories everyone tells you about. He was expecting some awkward drive with some old random trucker or something, like what always happens in the movies. What he wasn't expecting was for three brothers on a yearly family bonding road trip to agree to take him with them across multiple states (or uk equivalent) What he REALLY wasn't expecting was to fall in love with one of the men, who has long white hair, piercing golden eyes, an awkward-shaped smile, a ridiculously named pet horse, and a stupid sense of humor.

[help-help-i-need-an-adult]

Modern AU:

Kaer Moron’s Family Car

@0dde11eth @everything-but-the-not-natural @i-pet-spuders @fandom-junk-drawer @dancinginmyoldsatindress @thequeeninyellowlace