#just a group of friends made in a Wattpad comment section

[raccoon-smiles]

I have officially logged into Wattpad for the first time in 3 years, and it is so nostalgic. 15 year old me was so sad and mopey, but they had an excellent group of friends on there. Rereading all the messages posted to my account by friends is so sweet. I don't talk to anyone from back then anymore, but I truly believe they were the first and honestly probably last real community I had online. Yeah we were dumb teens writing soulmate aus and honestly turning characters into our own ocs at point, but we were having fun. AND WE ACTUALLY TALKED TO EACH OTHER! We inspired each other and saw that inspiration come to fruition. I'm gonna go reread some of the stuff we wrote because I need to feel that love again.

[latibvles]

Sort of a public PSA? — on commenting.

This is a thought after, once again, having a conversation and while yes, commenting is important, I feel like there’s also something else we should be saying:

If you can’t compliment a writer without bringing down another, don’t say anything.

And I’m talking about this in specific because this is what I see most often. I’m not going to screenshot this because it’s on other people’s works and I am very lucky to not have received comments like that on AO3 (which is currently the only place that I have published work), but I’ll do an imitation of what this looks like:

“Wow, this is a great story. All those OTHER stories just make the main character SO PERFECT and it’s just sooo unrealistic.”

This isn’t the compliment you think this is.

It’s very backhanded and the comment really could’ve stopped at the first sentence. Or, even better, comment about what you liked about the story you just read and not what you disliked about other people’s stories.

And maybe this is just a me thing, but writers are also readers and readers read comments, too. And reading negative generalizations made about what could be your particular ficwriting niche isn’t the greatest feeling.

Throwing in a read more because this got long.

“But Poet!” I hear you say, “I REALLY don’t like [insert thing here] and this is the FIRST time I’ve seen it very well-written!!”

Okay well for starters, I highly doubt that there’s only one (1) author who writes that thing well. Also, you can SAY that you enjoyed it without putting down other people in that particular genre. It’s not about what you do and don’t like, it’s about uplifting writers verses putting them down. “I usually don’t read ______, but I really enjoyed this!” Is such a kinder way to say it — and it doesn’t include insulting others in a fandom space.

Ultimately, the comment section exists so you can compliment and otherwise give feedback to the writer. It really, really isn’t a place to vent about your experiences with “bad” fanfiction. I haven’t gotten these comments on AO3, but I’ve definitely got them on Wattpad and Instagram. Most of the time it was never because of genuine love for my writing — it was just because they wanted to bring down others who were writing similar work.

We talk about commenting and supporting writers a lot but what should that look like? I can’t speak for everyone but this is what it looks like for me.

Keyboard smashing, screaming, all variants of “HOW DARE YOU!!” are well accepted and definitely make me smile. If you’re worried that something comes across wrong I’ve memorized tone tags — feel free to use them! I use them with all my friends and in comments when I want to ensure my intent comes across correctly.

Essay-long comments (and subsequently 20+ tags of rambling) are also accepted. Seriously. They spark joy. It’s very kind. Thank you for quoting the details and throwing them back at my face.

Criticism is okay when it’s asked for. I’ve got like … a definitive group people I’m comfortable with reading my work and giving feedback on it when I’m unsure of my own writing. I’m doing this for fun. I don’t need a bunch of compliment-criticism sandwiches, yanno?

If you’re going to tear down someone else’s work — keep it to yourself. You don’t usually read OFC fics but you really like mine? Cool! Tell me that! But don’t insult all the other lovely OFCs in the process. You usually don’t read childhood friends-to-lovers? I’m so happy that I’ve been able to reel you in. But keep the comparisons to yourself.

I honestly see it more than I see people just going “this sucked” on a piece of writing which also isn’t great, but the former is way more common.

“But Poet!” You say again, “I’m entitled to my opinion aren’t I? I’m allowed to dislike things!!”

Yes, you are! And you can have and share those opinions! Just maybe not on a work that isn’t even yours. A ficwriter does not know you hated all the other work out there to understand that you enjoyed theirs. I am someone with very strong Writing Opinions. And I am either sharing them HERE, on my blog, where it can’t really hurt anybody since it’s not like I’m targeting somebody — or I’m getting on a soapbox to my friends for an hour about it in a group chat. Which I think we should do more often.

Remember “if you have nothing nice to say, don’t say it at all”? Lets bring that back. Stop with the backhanded compliments fellas. It isn’t cute.

[lostbbygorl]

LEVI ACKERMAN AS A YOUTUBER:

✨ It was Hange's idea, not Levi's

✨ Levi hates attention usually, so when Hange suggested he start a channel that millions of people can view anytime, he wanted to smack her

✨ But then Erwin and Mike kept harping about (Mike wanted to see him do a sparkly intro)

✨ He wanted his friends to leave him alone, so he grudgingly decided to make one video

✨ It was a rant video LMFAOOO

✨ He basically exposed all his friends names and the fact that they wouldn't leave him alone until he made a video

✨ Well, everyone liked that. I'm not kidding, he's like a 30 year old Joanna Cedia man rose to fame lightning fast

✨ Even though his video kinda lacked structure, it was FULL of meme potential and Gen Z did their thang so Levi's suddenly trending

✨ Levi is the only one from the group who doesn't use social media so when Levi and Hange show him that the whole internet is simping for him his eyes widen like in that scene where Eren suddenly titan shifted

✨ He saw that his comments under the video were mostly positive and that men and women alike were complimenting his good looks and he's super confused cause our rough baby is actually super soft and insecure and he doesn't understand that it don't matter if he ain't tall and tanned and that he's scarred, he's fine asf

✨ Well that was an ego boost and Levi realized he wants to make videos

✨ Levi is shy asf so his intros are super curt and he gets straight to the point

✨ His viewers love his dry, dark humor and unfiltered behavior

✨ Wattpad authors love his deep voice, and well, so does everyone else

✨ His viewers are a literal CULT and Levi's like Corpse Husband but with a face

✨ He's still wondering what the main focus of his channel should be so for the first one month of running it, he usually takes subscriber requests

✨ Levi isn't as ~mysterious~ as he likes to think he is lol. His subscribers figured out his undercover teddy bear personality as soon as he stuttered in the second video's intro. Also, all his psychology student fans kept posting body language analyses in the comment section. His second video was basically him reacting to the memes people made

✨ After that, he started making house tour videos and working/studying productivity tip videos and just YOLO cuz his fans eat whatever up

✨ Levi DEFO has an aesthetic house and bedroom. He's too tidy and classy not to

✨ With each video, you can see the editing getting better

✨ His following keeps growing and he finally opens up a social media account he barely posts on

✨ Levi finds meme culture annoying so the memes that people send him just get eyebrows raised at

✨ Levi TRULY started loving being a youtuber when he started getting paid cuz that check was SWEET (I mean he's a capricorn guys cmon)

✨ He reacts to memes and Gen Z slang cuz he has a mostly Gen Z fanbase and now he's getting trendier much to his friends surprise

✨ He starts saying "All facts no printer" and "spill the tea" unironically. He also likes the grunge and alt aesthetic

✨ You know what else comes with being a handsome edgy older youtuber? THIRSTY FANS

✨ Levi knows what fanfiction is but he doesn't know fanfic terminology so when Hange comes over to his house one day and starts laughing hysterically at "Levi x Reader 18+ smut" he's confused

✨ When Hange and explains and shows him the smut his soul leaves his body I-

✨ He reviews his smut very seriously on his channel the next day and the SMUT AUTHORS HAVE ALL DEACTIVATED-

✨ Levi isn't extremely fond of the way he's being sexualized but he's a grown man and he's just gonna take it though he hopes it'll stop. You know what Levi does like? FANART

✨ Levi finds it impressive that his young fans can use him as a source of creativity and that he's someone's muse. He makes it a habit to like whatever fanart he comes across on social media and leave an encouraging comment

✨ The first time Levi smiled on his channel was when he saw a chibi fanart of himself

✨ Levi doesn't really wanna do collabs initially but when a younger, more experienced youtuber suggested a collab he wasn't against it surprisingly

✨ The internet BROKE when THE Sasha Blouse made a video with Levi where they made dalgona coffee

✨ Levi didn't realize how big Sasha is till he saw all the comments on social media and he considers the collab with Sasha his first celebrity encounter

✨ Sasha and Levi end up becoming an unlikely friendship duo and fans LOVE the personality contrast (I love Levi and Sasha's interactions and I love personality contrasts so stfu Levi and Sasha's friendship >>>>>)

✨ It takes Levi at least a year to realize how big his impact is. He first realizes this when a little girl recognizes him in public and tells him all starry eyed that she started cleaning her room more after watching his videos and he's internally crying

✨ Levi also makes more friends because of this platform and Sasha isn't the only one. He surprisingly became fast friends with Eren, Connie, and Jean (AKA the kings of the gaming world), and he's on better terms with his cousin Mikasa ( A well known fashion vlogger) after he opened his channel

✨ He is now the father of younger, more chaotic youtubers and he honestly loves the light it brings to his life

✨ Has he changed after fame? Well yes and no. Levi is the same hardworking, introverted, sophisticated man he was before fame, he just grew better communication skills and has a wider friend group now

✨ He doesn't think he's above anybody though he has more confidence now, and he treats his fans very politely. He's super humble and anybody who has met him praises him

✨ Youtube brought only positive changes to his life and he doesn't express it much but he's very grateful to for his subscribers and fanbase

✨ He never knew that he'd actually like being surrounded by so many bright people and that he'd actually like broadening his horizons and making new friends. He's experienced many different things like playing horror games with Eren (he didn't flinch) and mukbangs with Sasha

✨ He liked each experience in his own way though he liked some less than the others

✨ After a life of gloom and loneliness, this is a nice change for him and he's quietly but warmly welcoming it. He feels accepted and he feel like he belongs after blowing up. People love him for his weird humor, scars, and brash personality. They want more of him and he's influenced them in a good way

✨ Levi goes to bed every night tired yet happy after his actual job, his job as a youtuber, and his many fan interactions

✨ And the money too of course BUT BESIDES THE POINT-

✨ Overall, his channel is super binge worthy and 10/10 content

✨ Do subscribe

[sugarmaplewings-fics]

I'm Yours

Pairing: Kirishima x reader

Warnings: There's kissing. A lot of kissing. Just some teenagers being dumb really. No canon characters were harmed in the making of this fic. I didn't include a cheating aspect since I don't write for that kind of stuff, but there's still some jealous!Kirishima here >:3

Author's Note:

Uhhhh I kinda forgot to make this fluffy . . . .

Thanks to uwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwi from Wattpad for requesting! (that's a really fun username hehe)

Enjoy!

-Sugar

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══════ ≪ .·:·.♡.·:·. ≫ ══════

Swamped.

That was the only way he could describe it. Kirishima didn’t think he’d ever been so busy, and he wasn’t the only one.

Finals had the entirety of the hero course stressed, especially the second-years like himself. Between training, doing homework, and going to class, there wasn’t exactly room for being social. Any time he was able to hang out with his friends, they were studying together. Nothing he'd really describe as 'fun'. And that’s what had him feeling the worst about all this.

He’d started dating you a few weeks ago—going on three months now, actually. Things had been going well between the two of you. You liked him and he really liked you, so to him, there hadn't been any type of problem.

Even so, there was something a little unique about your relationship: no one knew about it. You yourself were never one for letting others get too involved in your business. And besides, you also knew the nature of most high school relationships. Maybe you’d announce yourselves as a couple and make a big fuss only to grow tired of the other and end it all within the first month. But clearly, that hadn’t happened.

There was a strange thrill to keeping your relationship a secret; a novelty your boyfriend hadn't expected. Though he wasn’t much for dishonesty, Kirishima practically lived for the stolen glances across the classroom you’d share, and the way he’d sneak you behind the school for impromptu makeout sessions with no one ever the wiser. You were his little secret, and he was yours.

Until it had all come to a grinding halt with the extra schoolwork.

He still tried to make time to spend with you in one of your dorm rooms, but the both of you finally had to admit to yourselves that neither of you could get any work or studying done when you were alone together. And so it was back to study groups; holding hands under the table as either Bakugou or Yaoyorozu went over the newest batch of hero laws that needed to be memorized.

God, how he wished this could all be over. Kirishima just wanted things to be normal again. When was the last time he’d even seen you? He could remember watching the back of your head duck out of the classroom at the end of the day, but after? . . . Nothing.

He frowned at the physics worksheet laid before him, mind wandering to thoughts of you as one of his sharp teeth sunk into the eraser at the end of his pencil. Kirishima supposed he should go check on you later, once he’d finished up his assignments for the evening.

…

“Did you see (L/N) yesterday?”

Kirishima’s ears unconsciously perked up at the sound of your name. He stood with his tray in the lunch line directly behind some of his female classmates. They were chatting amongst themselves as they slowly stepped forward. Kirishima wasn’t generally one to listen in on conversations he wasn’t a part of, but now they’d captured his interest. Had one of them seen him sneaking into your room?

“No, I didn’t,” Uraraka said in response to Ashido. “Is she alright?”

“Of course she is,” the pink-haired girl said, rolling her abnormal black and amber eyes as she reached for a clementine. “Actually, she may be doing more than alright.”

Kirishima swallowed. Uh-oh.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Jirou asked, sounding largely uninterested in gossiping about her fellow classmate.

“Well,” Ashido began, bouncing a little on her toes, “I saw her on the tech floor yesterday and you won’t believe who she was talking to.”

“Who?” Jirou asked dryly, probably hoping to get the discussion over with as quickly as possible.

“Kobayashi Tatsuo. The third year,” Mina announced proudly.

The redhead behind them quietly sighed. Thank goodness. They still didn't know.

“And?” Uraraka questioned.

“They were totally flirting!” Ashido said. “(L/N)’s bagged a cute upperclassman boy! They’ll be dating soon, I just know it! If they aren’t already.” She smugly leveled her shoulders, grinning with an odd look of satisfaction.

What?

“I guess that’s good for her,” Jirou commented, picking up her tray from the lunch bar in order to follow her friends to a table.

“I know, right?” Mina said excitedly as they walked off. “And he’s totally cute too! I wish a hot guy would pay attention to me for once.”

Kirishima watched them leave, almost forgetting to grab lunch for himself after being so absorbed in what they were saying.

The majority of him knew he shouldn’t pay any mind to it. This sort of thing was bound to happen. Of course his peers try to figure out who was involved with who, even if it wasn’t really accurate or from the most credible source. The girls didn’t know that you were already taken by someone else, in fact, the very person behind them in line.

At least now he knew where you’d gone after class yesterday . . . but why? What were you doing on the tech floor? And who was this third year you were talking to?

He was pulled from his thoughts by the sound of Kaminari’s voice. Kirishima returned the greeting, sliding into his seat next to his friend. As he settled into the atmosphere of his usual table, he couldn’t help but scan the cafeteria for your face, just as he had done every day, even before you were dating.

But for the first time, his search came up empty. You were nowhere to be seen.

…

Kobayashi wasn’t exactly the person you wanted to be spending your lunch with.

Really, a part of you wondered why you had to skip going to the cafeteria at all today. But then you remembered the stack of work that sat on your desk. It stubbornly refused to ever shrink, no matter what you did. Recently, it felt like as soon as you got one thing done, two more assignments would find their way right back at the bottom. And this was just another one you had to deal with.

While reviewing your materials for your upcoming finals, you’d begun to take note of other heroes’ costumes and support items. Particularly, you’d taken interest in a hero from Ukraine who’d debuted a few decades ago. Your quirk was wildly similar to his and you couldn’t help but further research his techniques, costume, and gadgets that enhanced his abilities.

You weren’t one to copy. Actually, you quite liked the way your current costume functioned and looked, with its own unique style of your own. Even so, you’d read things about him and his quirk that you honestly hadn’t even thought of for yourself, and you’d begun to make a special section in your notebook for improvements to your hero ensemble. Was it the best use of your time? Perhaps not, but you did have a practical exam coming up, and a part of you couldn’t help but wonder if these improvements you were sketching might make all the difference in your performance . . . .

You decided you could use an upgrade. Which is exactly why you went to the second-year in the support course who was in charge of making adjustments to your costume. Until your hopes were immediately dashed when you found out he was sick. Determined, you went to the next best option: Kobayashi.

He was a nice enough boy. Tall, witty, and a whole year older. You hadn’t expected to be spending so much time with him over the past week, but for whatever reason, he kept calling you back to his workspace in the shop for ‘daily check-ins’. At least he was making good progress.

But now you were spending your lunch hour eating with him. It felt strange, being alone in a different classroom with the guy—not an uncomfortable strange, merely “I’m not used to being here”. You’d let him borrow your notebook full of sketches for your costume, and that’s what he was going over with you now.

He’d ask you for clarification on one of your notes before jotting something down of his own right next to your handwriting. He had also been eager to show you his process, explaining the steps of what he was doing while you ate from your bento.

To be honest, it was kind of nice being in a different setting. Kobayashi was fun to listen to; it was clear he was passionate about what he was doing.

But still, he ran out of things to talk about. That was, when it came to your hero suit. Figuring it was too late to go back to the cafeteria anyway, he ate his own lunch with you, striking up a new conversation.

At first, you didn’t pay any mind to it. But then you began to take notice of how close he sat. Then you realized how eager he was to make you laugh, how smoothly the casual chatter flowed between you. And then it struck you just how much he peppered in compliments to you. Finally, it clicked.

Uh-oh.

You refused to meet his gaze when he waved you off after the bell rang. Dashing away, you wondered how serious he might be. Did he actually like you? No, perhaps you were overthinking the situation.

Then again, he had been being awfully nice to you ever since you’d met. But what if that was just how he was? Kaminari could be like that at times, and you knew he didn’t usually mean anything too serious behind it. Or—well—perhaps Denki the Flirt was a bad example for your case. Still . . . how were you supposed to make it clear to Kobayashi that you weren’t interested?

You shook your head to clear it of these thoughts. He hadn’t actually done anything, so what was the point of worrying about it? You were loyal to Eijirou, you knew that. You’d made a commitment to him just as he had to you, and that was all there was to it. No matter what, you’d continue whatever it was you had with him. Kobayashi wasn’t an issue you should be losing sleep over. Besides, you were probably reading too far into things anyway.

Content with the conclusions you’d made, you walked back into your homeroom class for fifth period. Settling into your seat, you faced the chalkboard in front of you, awaiting the return of Aizawa-sensei, unaware of the pair of ruby eyes fixed on your back.

…

Kirishima shot up from his desk the moment he heard a soft knock on his door. As soon as he opened up his room, you came barreling into his arms. “Hey!” he greeted you, reciprocating the hug.

“Study break!” you announced quietly, not wanting to alert his neighbors of your presence.

He tittered happily to himself, leading your bodies back to his desk where he could sit you on his lap in his chair. Settling comfortably on his thighs, you were quick to slot your lips against his. Kirishima melted into your touch.

How many days had it been since he’d last gotten a chance to kiss you? Two? Three? Either way, it had been far too long.

“Shall we take this to the bed?” he joked after a few minutes of kissing.

You chuckled at his harmless allusion. “You know I’m going to fall asleep as soon as I lay down.”

He brushed a stray strand of hair out of your face, concern morphing his features. “Have you been getting enough rest with all this going on?”

“No,” you admitted. “I was up last night with my English flashcards. I swear Present Mic is trying to kill me with this new vocab, it’s like I can’t get it in my head at all.”

“I could help you study it,” your boyfriend offered, his hands resting lightly on your waist.

“That would be productive,” you said sarcastically with a roll of your eyes. “What was it last time? ‘If I get a set right, I’ll get a kiss’ and then next thing I know, we’re making out on your bed for twenty minutes.”

He grinned up at you coyly. “At least I made studying fun.”

“That wasn’t studying!” you protested with a grin. “Speaking of, my timer’s going to go off soon—” you pressed your lips against his for a moment, “—and I want more kisses.”

Kirishima let you have your way with him, threading your fingers through his hair while you savored the taste of his lips. But there was something still nagging at the back of his mind.

“(Y/N)?” he asked when your phone buzzed and you pulled away. “Where were you during lunch today?”

You shrugged, pulling your phone out of your pocket to silence it. “I’m getting improvements on my hero costume. My regular guy got sick so I’m working with this third-year dude.”

“Ohhh.” Kirishima’s worries dissipated almost instantly. “So that’s why you were on the tech floor.”

Confused, you frowned. “Did you see me there or something?”

“Oh, sorry! I just overheard Ashido saying that she saw you down there.” He laughed. “She thought you were flirting with him or something and that you were going to end up dating.”

“Ah, well,” you mumbled, “I wasn’t sure if I should say anything or not but he, um, actually might have been flirting with me.”

Kirishima’s smile dropped, his arms subconsciously squeezing you tighter to him. “What?”

“I only noticed it today—it totally could be nothing—but I think he’s caught feelings? I mean, why else would he ask me to have lunch with him like this? Not to mention how he was smiling at me, and looking at me, and touching my hand—” You bit your tongue, stopping yourself from saying anything else. Maybe this was more serious than you realized.

Your boyfriend was silent, staring at the floor below you with a troubled expression. His ruby eyes traced over the rectangular patterns on his floor, seemingly lost in thought.

“You know that nothing’s going to happen,” you attempted to reassure him, lifting his chin with one of your fingers so he could look into your eyes. “Those feelings aren’t reciprocated and I’m not going anywhere. I’ve already picked you, Eijirou. There’s no one out there like you.” You pressed a kiss to his forehead, sealing your statements, not only to him but to yourself. “We’ll sort this out. If I have to tell Kobayashi I’m taken, then so be it. Maybe keeping our relationship a secret isn’t everything it’s cracked up to be.”

When you pulled back, you noticed that there was still a pout on Eijirou’s face.

“Aw, what is it?” you asked, tucking one of his fallen sticky spikes back under his bandana.

“I don’t know.” He shrugged, pulling you even closer to him.

“Talk to me, baby.” You ran a hand down his back.

“I don’t like the thought of him being around you,” he confessed into your shoulder. “I . . . don’t want him smiling at you like that, or touching you, or letting people think that you belong with him. You’re . . . mine.” He paused before laughing dryly, hiding his face in the crook of your neck. “I’m sorry. That sounded . . . totally selfish of me and probably not very manly at all—”

“No,” you said simply. “It’s actually kinda hot.”

He pulled back to look at you, perhaps to see if you were joking. Your expression was intrigued, maybe a little flustered. “Really?”

“Yeah.” You swallowed. “I . . . like when you call me yours. It’s cute. And besides, it’s okay that you feel that way. Feelings don’t have to make sense. I'm frustrated about this too.” Pecking his lips a final few times, you regretfully stood from his chair. “I wish there was something more I could do right now, but I should get going. I promised Tsu and Uraraka I’d meet up with them. We can talk about this later.”

“See you, (Y/N),” Kirishima said.

You smiled and waved, turning to the door and checking to see if anyone was in the hall before slipping back out. Kirishima watched you go, wondering what he should do.

Kirishima hadn’t even met the guy and he already hated him. Sure, Kobayashi wasn’t aware you were taken, and he had every right to show interest in you, but that was supposed to be Eijirou. It was Kirishima’s job to flirt with you and be there for you and sweep you off your feet. Your classmates should be shipping you with him, not this random guy from another year.

The redhead sighed. He shouldn’t let himself get so caught up in this. He knew you were capable of sorting this out on your own, and if you really needed him, Kirishima would help you. He couldn’t start getting whiny like some kind of child.

Besides, your friends could think whatever they wanted. It couldn’t affect your relationship. They were just high school kids. They didn’t even know what they were talking about.

Despite the fact he was trying to get back into focusing on his work, Kirishima’s mind couldn’t help but wander. Maybe once exams were over you could finally announce that the two of you were together. Then you wouldn’t have to sneak around so much anymore. He could hug you whenever he wanted, and you could sit on his lap during movie night. He’d be able to kiss you in front of his friends, no problem. Maybe, just to see the look on his face, he’d kiss you in front of—

No, no. Japanese Literature. That was what he was supposed to be thinking about right now. The sooner he finished his work, the sooner he’d be able to see you again.

…

Finally it was Saturday afternoon, and you knew you had an entire day to take things a little easier tomorrow. Maybe you’d even try to take the evening off and spend some time with your boyfriend. But of course, you had to meet with Kobayashi about your hero costume first. Hopefully it would be quick, and perhaps even the last time.

You walked down to the tech floor, heading straight for the workshop. You needed your suit for the practical exam next week, so you hoped he was ready for you.

Peeking into the room, you spotted him putting something into a very familiar case.

“Oh, are you finished?” you asked, walking in.

“Yeah,” he said brightly. “You’re all set, (L/N).”

“Thanks,” you said.

“Here,” he popped the little box open, showing off the finalized improvements he’d done and the changes he’d made that you’d spoken about together. He walked you through everything and you listened politely, asking the occasional question. Even with the newfound bitter taste in your mouth at being around him, you had to admit he'd done a spectacular job.

“That should be everything,” you said, ready to go. “Thanks for working with me.”

“No problem.”

Satisfied, you began to walk away.

“Wait, (L/N).”

Apprehensive, you stopped, turning back to him. “Yeah?”

“I was just wondering,” he began, bashful, “if you’d like to grab lunch with me sometime.”

You frowned, apologetic. “I can’t, Kobayashi senpai.”

“Why not?” He looked hurt.

You winced. “I’m already involved with someone else.”

“You’re just ‘involved’?” he asked dubiously, the expression on his face changing. “Please give me a chance. I can see that you feel something for me too. Whoever you’re with, I could be better.”

“I’m not interested,” you said firmly, any momentary sympathy you might have felt evaporating. “Goodbye, Kobayashi.”

He let you go, watching as you walked stiffly out of the classroom. As soon as you rounded the doorway, you felt something grab you. Gasping, you startled, but you were quick to register a familiar head of red hair. You saw Kirishima put a finger to his lips, pulling you further down the hall and towards the empty stairwell for some privacy.

He pushed you up against a blue-gray wall, grinning at you with hooded eyes.

“Eiji, what—?”

“I heard the whole thing,” he murmured, leaning in and capturing your lips for a quick kiss. “I thought that guy might make a move on you so I followed you down here. You held your own.” He kissed you again; this one longer, his tongue sneaking its way into your mouth. “You’re really mine, aren’t you?” he murmured against your lips, a stubborn trace of hesitancy still present and quavering in his voice.

“Of course I am, Eiji,” you whispered, touching your forehead to his. “I’m yours.”

He surged against you again, kissing you hungrily and pinning you even harder against the solid surface behind you.

You gasped against his force, eyebrows drawing together as you struggled to keep up. “Ei—” you tried. “Not here, let’s go someplace else.”

“Who cares?” he murmured, uninterested in stopping.

“Me. I don’t want to get caught by a teacher or a random fifteen-year-old. We could get in trouble.”

Kirishima sighed, finally drawing back for a moment to meet your eyes. “Okay, fine. But we’re going straight to my room, right?”

You snorted. “Where else do you think I want to be?”

He smirked, taking your hand again. “Good answer.”

Kirishima briskly walked you back to the dorms, his hand migrating ever lower down your back. It wasn’t long before he was sitting you on his lap in his bed, mouth once again connecting with yours right where it belonged.

You weren’t sure he’d ever kissed you like this before, in all the time you’d been together. His passion blazed before you, unrelenting as your teeth and tongues crashed together. He nipped at your lips until they flushed and swelled, and you knew they’d be noticeably bruised by morning but neither of you stopped. He kept going, trailing more kisses from the corner of your mouth, to your jaw, and all the way down your neck only to return right back to your parted lips whispering his name.

Kirishima’s room had never felt so hot and stuffy, even as he pulled off his uniform jacket and helped you out of yours. His cheeks burned red as his eyes, so caught up in what he was doing, the only thoughts his mind was still capable of having were simply You.

It went by in a haze. He wasn’t sure when exactly he’d lowered you onto his pillow, or how long he’d been hovering over you and caging you in with his arms as he cherished you.

But he knew one thing. His love for you wasn’t something he could hide anymore. No, he’d never let anyone think they stood a chance with you again while he was around.

One day soon, he would kiss you good morning at breakfast. One day, you’d hold hands in the halls on the way to class. One day, he’d pull you in close after school, slinging an arm around your hips just so he always knew you were there at his side.

But he was happy to be here with you now. He was happy to be your secret. He was happy, even as his kisses began to soften and slow, content with the way your body melded against his as he laid himself at your side and hugged you closer. All that mattered was that you were here with him now, and he was yours.

And you were his.

══════ ≪ .·:·.♡.·:·. ≫ ══════

Taglist: @aahilovetheatre @basicalyrandom @bumbyslair @f0leysgurl @hyunmin-1404 @kqtsukii @nabo39 @pyrofanatic​ @rainy-skys-and-bright-stars @sendhelpimstupid @ure-a-sunflower @xoxopam4​

[edendaphne]

“Discordant Sonata” Chapter 19

>>Click here to read on Ao3<<

>>Click here to read on Wattpad<<

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CHAPTER 19: ATTACCA

Music glossary:        Attacca - "To attack at once"; used as a direction in music at the end of a movement to begin the next without pause

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(Mood music: "The Conversation" - Pearl Django)

Being mere months away from graduating lycée meant that their group of friends didn’t have as many classes together, due to their diverse individual interests and talents. However, they always made sure to make time to hang out after school before their extracurricular activities began.

And thus, Adrien, Nino, and Alya made their way to the classroom where the art club gathered to meet up with Marinette. From there, Adrien would make his way to either fencing lessons or Chinese, depending on the day of the week. Marinette would join him on days when he had Chinese (as she’d become determined to master the language ever since her uncle visited from Shanghai a few years back), Alya would go to her journalism club, and Nino would travel to his part-time internship at the local recording studio.

“–and the backlogs just keep piling up!” Alya spoke as they walked, voice full of vigor and excitement. “I’ve had to recruit yet another mod to help me keep order in the forums! Especially since the Ladyblog has started going international and we’ve had to organize servers in different languages. You wouldn’t believe how crazy it’s gotten in there recently!”

“Dang, babe,” Nino interjected. “Sounds like things are super rough for you right now.”

“Not really, more busy than anything. Especially because I have that big research article due next week, there’s just not enough hours in the day to try to read everything that goes on in there. But I have my mods report to me daily, ‘cause I always like to stay on top of everything that goes on in the chats!”

“What’s gotten everyone so riled up in the Ladyblog lately?” Adrien chimed in. “I don’t recall it being nearly this busy last year.”

The trio entered the art club’s classroom and settled down at the table where Marinette sat, getting her various sketches organized. The art teacher was quite easy going, so they didn’t have to talk in hushed whispers and could come and go as they pleased.

“Well, to be honest, it’s because of Chat Noir,” Alya replied.

Adrien tried to contain his surprise. “R-really? What– uhhh, what do people have to say about him?”

He winced inwardly. He knew he shouldn’t ask. But curiosity got the better of him today. Maybe learning the news through the filter or Alya’s paraphrasing instead of reading the negative comments firsthand would lessen the sting of what people said about him.

Marinette whipped her head around at the mention of his alter ego. “Wait, what about Chat Noir?” she inquired.

“Girl,” Alya replied, her voice filled with renewed exuberance. “You would not believe how much we’ve had to censor and moderate all the inappropriate things people have been saying!”

Adrien flinched in his seat. “Wow… do people really hate him that much?” he asked, trying to conceal the dejection in his voice.

Alya busted out into loud guffaws. “Hate?! Dude, most people don’t hate him; they LOVE him! By ‘inappropriate’ comments, I mean the kinda stuff you wouldn’t want your grandma to catch you reading! There’s a whole giant section dedicated to his new fan club!” she said as she removed her glasses so she could wipe away the tears of laughter.

“WHAT?!” Adrien squawked in confusion, his face feeling hotter than the ovens back at the bakery. “A fan club??”

Marinette burst into uncontrollable snickering. “Has it really gotten that bad?!”

Nino joined in, “Bro! Adrien, I can’t believe you haven’t heard Alya rant about these rabid fans before! They call themselves the ‘Noir Nation’, and the kind of things they’ve been writing would make adult romance authors blush like schoolgirls!”

Alya nodded, thoroughly amused. “And that’s not including all the fanfiction people have been writing.”

“Wait– the WHAT?! There’s fanfiction?!!” Marinette gaped in shock, as if she’d been hit in the face with an enormous pie. “Alya, how come I never knew about this?!”

“Why? You wanna read em? Girl, you’ll get no judgment from me. If you wanna check ‘em out for yourself, just go check under the hashtag ‘Ladynoir’.”

Marinette stammered as her arms flailed in her bewilderment, accidentally knocking her phone off the table and onto the floor, her eyes bigger and rounder than Adrien had ever seen them. “They have a ship name?!” she screeched.

“Just mind the ratings though,” Alya advised. “Some of them can get pretty steamy. You wouldn’t want someone to catch you reading those in public,” she added with a wink.

Marinette continued to sputter incoherently. “NO, I am NOT gonna read it!! It would be different if they were fictional characters, but I could never read fanfiction about real people!”

Alya raised a skeptical eyebrow at her. “Mm-hmm… Sure.”

Marinette’s hands flew to her face, trying to hide how red her entire face had gotten, and released a long squeak that resembled a hamster on helium. As shocked as Adrien was about these rather unexpected news, seeing Marinette’s over-the-top reaction brought a wide grin to his face and he busted out laughing.

He bent over to retrieve Marinette’s phone, since she was too busy being mortified to notice it had fallen to the floor. As he was about to hand it back, the screen lit up and Adrien saw the lockscreen wallpaper: it was the same photo of Ladybug and Chat Noir that he himself had saved earlier that day. He smiled, not exactly sure what to make of it, but finding it adorable that she’d liked the photo enough to set it as her lockscreen.

He tapped her shoulder, waiting for her to respond. She emerged from behind her impromptu hand shield and turned her head, then her eyes widened once again as soon as she saw what Adrien was showing her. She jolted straight up, stiff as a board, and her eyes met his, cheeks turning tomato red. He winked at her, amused about this little secret between them, and handed back her phone without a word.

Marinette accepted it with a meek-sounding, “Thanks,” looking like she wanted to explain the photo, but not able to do so unless she wanted Alya and Nino to find out that she was potentially a… ahem– “Ladynoir” shipper.

Switching the conversation to something else (which Marinette seemed to be eternally grateful for), the group chatted until it became time for them to scatter to their next destinations.

With a wave, Adrien exited the classroom and headed towards fencing practice, one of the few activities he decided to stick with despite not being forced to participate. Fencing, along with Chinese lessons, were not only enjoyable, but were also quite useful. Sadly, he didn’t have access to a piano anymore, so he wasn’t able to pursue that hobby for the time being. Hopefully later down the line, when things had settled down and he’d found his own place to live, he’d be able to finance one.

Thinking about the future had become an exciting pastime instead of an anxiety-inducing one, and it was all thanks to his friends and those he cared about. He smiled as he reached the door to the locker rooms, continuing to daydream of what was to come.

(Mood music: "Recollection 3" - Shirō Sagisu (BLEACH OST, "The Diamond Dust Rebellion")

Adrien finished getting dressed for fencing, his head still blissfully floating in the clouds. He stored his belongings into his assigned locker, shutting it with a loud clang, which echoed through the empty room.

Huh...? Empty?

He swiveled his head around, surprised that there was no one beside him. He stood up and began walking down the large room, peeking down the other locker rows looking for his classmates; but there was nobody.

Where was everyone? There’s no way that every single one of them was running late. Had his lessons been cancelled and he’d somehow missed a text message or email? He began heading back towards his locker to check his phone for any schedule changes.

Before he reached his destination, however, heavy thudding footsteps broke the eerie silence. Adrien whipped his body around to greet whoever they belonged to.

The owner of those footsteps was one of the last people Adrien expected to meet here.

“Gaspard?!”

Adrien stood agape, face to face with his old bodyguard, whom he hadn’t seen in a couple of years; not since he’d resigned and moved out of the country. Nathalie had mentioned that in his resignation letter, Gaspard said that he’d become involved in an overseas business venture involving the market of rare action figures. Nevertheless, Adrien couldn’t help but suspect that his father’s ill temper and poor treatment of their employees was the true reason for his departure.

Adrien’s first reaction was surprise and joy, and he rushed forward to greet and embrace him. However, as he approached and got a better look at the man’s face, Adrien’s mood instantly morphed into confusion and apprehension. There was something odd about his eyes.

Something wasn’t right. Why was Gaspard here? And why now?

He came to a halt about a meter before reaching him. An oppressive weight seemed to press in all around him, and he had to suppress a shiver. “Wait. Gaspard, did–” he gulped, “–did my father send you?”

His old bodyguard did not reply, but took a heavy step towards him. Adrien stepped back.

“Please… I can’t go back. I live somewhere else now, and I’m very happy there. Whatever he told you about the situation, it’s a lie.”

His bodyguard continued to approach him, his stare vacant and unsettling.

Fighting the urge to panic, he pleaded, “You don’t have to do this. If he’s offered you compensation, I can match it; it’ll just take me a bit of time. But we can work something out, right?? For old time’s sake?”

He continued walking backwards until he bumped into something firm, but it wasn’t a wall; it was another person. Before he could turn around, they grabbed him by the shoulders, detaining him and preventing him from running away.

He was about to shout for help when something sharp jabbed him on the side of the neck, injecting a cold liquid. Adrien’s eyes grew wide in terror.

Shit.

Adrien swore as he jerked away, elbowing whoever was behind him and managing to break free. Rubbing at the spot where the syringe had stabbed him, he glanced back to take a look at his other assailant, only to see... another Gaspard?

Why are there two of him??

This was wrong. Gaspard didn’t have a twin; he knew that for a fact. He’d worked for the Agrestes ever since Adrien was a toddler and was too young to even pronounce his name correctly (hence the nickname “Gorille”, which stuck around for years afterwards). Additionally, there was something uncanny, otherworldly, even, about the way these two men looked and moved.

He shook himself out of his stupor. He didn’t have time to contemplate any possible explanations. He had to get out of there fast.

He sprinted towards the exit, but only managed to travel a few paces before he lost his footing and tripped. He fell to the ground hard, almost hitting his head on a nearby bench. As he struggled to get up, he realized that his fingers and toes had already gone numb.

Not good.

Time was running out. Adrenaline coursed through him and, with a grunt, he hefted himself to his feet and scrambled towards the exit, as fast as he could despite a heavy limp. Though his heart was hammering and his legs felt like they were filled with sand, he pushed himself, concentrating on reaching the door.

After taking a few steps, however, he realized that even if he did manage to exit the locker room, the area beyond was an open courtyard. Meaning he wasn’t going to be able to reach someplace safe before getting caught. He had no choice but to transform into Chat Noir, and hopefully Plagg’s powers and strength could help him escape and find somewhere to hide.

He’d scarcely uttered the first syllable in the transformation phrase when he was tackled to the ground. A giant hand swiftly covered his mouth and Adrien felt his hands get bound together with thick zip ties behind his back. A muffled scream of writhing frustration made its way up his throat as his limbs became more and more useless by the second.

No… This can’t be happening! Please, this can’t be how it all ends!

Just when his life had finally gained a semblance of normalcy and he’d found happiness again, it would get ripped away and he would disappear without a trace, leaving everyone to wonder what had happened to him. Leaving his friends to think that Gabriel had pulled him from school and they would never see him again. Leaving Ladybug to wonder if Chat had abandoned her forever. Leaving her to fight Hawkmoth alone. Again.

He couldn’t let that happen. He thrashed and struggled as furiously as he could, fighting the feelings of overwhelming helplessness that threatened to consume him. Nearing despair, he was too distracted to notice Plagg phrasing through the wall, away from the skirmish, in search of the only person who could save him.

(Mood music: "Run" - Ludovico Einaudi)

Marinette fidgeted with her pencil, her feet wiggled and bounced under her desk. She didn’t understand; when she’d arrived at the art club, her head had been filled with inspiration and ideas that she’d been excited to draw and execute. However, at the moment, her mind was filled with noise and disquietude.

Having had enough, she excused herself to visit the restroom. Once she’d walked far enough from the classroom, she opened her purse to talk to Tikki about her current dilemma.

“It’s the same feeling as last night, Tikki! Except that would mean one of three possibilities. Option A.) It’s nothing and I’m going crazy. And— don’t give me that look, Tikki! I can see what you’re thinking and I don’t have time for your cheeky sass right now!” The kwami snickered while Marinette cleared her throat and continued, “Option B.) that Chat is here, at this school, which is impossible because his school’s on the other side of the city, that’s why he always leaves the house super early for his long commute.”

Tikki opened her mouth and looked like she was about to say something, but then didn’t (...or couldn’t?).

Marinette resumed, “Or, C.) that my–– what do I even call it? My ‘Spidey sense’??–– that it’s got a long distance mode, and Chat is all the way across Paris and he’s in trouble! But what am I supposed to do about that from here?! I wouldn’t even know where to begin looking!”

Tikki shrugged. “Follow your instincts, Marinette. There’s no harm in taking a quick look around the school, right?”

Marinette groaned. “UGH! It doesn’t make sense!! Am I going to get interrupted like this all the time from now on?” She shook her head resolutely. “No. I can’t just go off on random field trips every single time I feel a random fit of anxiety. I’m sure it’s just leftover jitters from last night. I’m supposed to call Master Fu after school anyway; he can help me figure everything out. I’m just gonna go back to class and forget about it.”

Tikki frowned, not quite convinced, but deciding not to press further.

Marinette made her way back to the classroom in a frustrated huff. But as her hand reached to turn the handle, the feelings of danger and urgency multiplied tenfold. Without a word, she sprinted away in the opposite direction, not even knowing where she was running to, only knowing she had to get there immediately.

She reached the large common area of the school downstairs. Her head whipped around, frantically searching for something, anything. In her haste, she didn’t notice a small black creature zoom into her open purse.

A few moments later, she felt a frantic tugging at her shirt from below.

“Marinette!! Over there! Check the locker room, quick!!!” Tikki whisper-screamed as she peeked outside the purse, her tone uncharacteristically frantic.

Marinette nodded, then sprinted to the locker room.

“Wait! You should transform first!” Tikki added.

No time!

“Marinette, wait!!”

Despite Tikki’s protests, Marinette raced towards the double doors, tackling them open.

Three sets of eyes landed on her as she skidded to a halt, but only one pair consumed her entire attention. She gasped in horror, hands flying to her face as she stared at what was occurring in front of her. Adrien let out a desperate, muffled scream urging her to run.

His panicked voice snapped her out of her dazed shock; but instead of running, she stood her ground, eyes darting back and forth across the area searching for something useful. The room was remarkably barren except for a lone broom a short distance away from her. She grabbed it and leaped towards the closest attacker (the one holding Adrien down), swinging it like a baseball bat.

The man didn’t even try to avoid the hit; the broomstick merely bounced off the side of his face where Marinette had hit him. She frowned in confusion, then tried hitting him again, bringing the stick down on the top of his head like an axe.

SNAP.

The end of the broom flew off, and Marinette stared in shock at the broken broomstick.

“What the hell are you?!” Marinette exclaimed, shifting her grip on the shortened wooden stub.

She pounced at the second bodyguard, bringing her weapon down in a stabbing motion; but he swatted at her hand, disarming her. She yelped in pain, leaping backwards to get some distance between them.

She was outmatched. The only strategy available was to use their own size against them. With a feint to the side, she shot at his legs for a takedown, hoping to catch him off balance. He called her bluff and shoved her backwards with his giant palm, then kneed her in the stomach.

Winded from the impact, Marinette doubled over with a gasping wheeze, fighting with all her might to keep herself from collapsing onto the ground. She forced herself upright and attacked again. With a clumsy jerk, she lunged forward, swinging wild punches at her opponent. The shots connected but his expression barely changed; it was like beating a breathing punching bag.

The bodyguard backhanded Marinette across the face. Pain shooting across her cheek, she staggered, almost losing her balance. In her daze, she watched helplessly as the man reared his arm back. There was no chance to dodge. His fist connected with her abdomen, delivering a liver shot that shut down her entire body. She crumpled to the floor as if boneless. She tried to call out Adrien’s name, but her mouth merely opened in a silent scream.

Marinette could hear Adrien’s distressed screaming, but it sounded distant, like they were underwater. The edges of her vision grew black and fuzzy, the entire room dissolving around her. She had to consciously force her lungs to inhale, but couldn’t fill them all the way, as if a boulder had been placed on top of her chest.

Faintly, she felt herself getting picked up off the ground and carried away over someone’s shoulder. Disoriented and semi-blinded, the sudden movement and rough jostling made her head spin and gave her vertigo. She gritted her teeth and squeezed her eyes shut, trying to block it all out.

A few moments later, they stopped moving, and she heard a door burst open. Where were they? Before she could gather her senses, she was in the air, thrown several meters away, landing with a hard thud. A sharp pain traveled down her body as she rolled into the wall across them. The shriek that tried to escape her throat emerged as a strained, shallow whine.

The man stomped out, leaving her alone in the room. “Stop…!” she rasped out, managing to tilt her neck upwards, head pounding.

The bodyguard slammed the door shut, followed by a bang and a clattering sound that could only mean he’d broken the doorknob of whatever room she was in.

Marinette's vision became more and more blurred. At the verge of losing consciousness, she fought to keep her eyes open as tears pricked at the corners of her eyes.

No, she couldn’t pass out! She had to save Adrien! Stay awake, Marinette, stay awake!!

She bit down on her lip hard, focusing on the sharp sting, on the swelling that was already forming around her right eye, forcing herself to feel the pain her body was in. At this moment, feeling pain was better than falling unconscious. She concentrated on her breathing, slowly regaining her senses.

She reached down to open her purse and get Tikki’s help… only to be met with emptiness. Panic settled in her gut as she realized that sometime during the skirmish, the purse had slipped off her shoulder. She sat up, slowly, so she wouldn’t risk feeling faint again from the change in positions.

She squinted, adjusting her eyesight to the darkness of the room. It seemed to be some sort of supply closet. After a failed few attempts to stand, she crawled towards the door instead, careful not to bump into the crates and shelves that filled the area.

The girl eyed the broken doorknob wearily. She was pretty proficient at lockpicking and breaking into things, but not as good at breaking out. Her only hope was that Tikki would be able to find her… if she was even nearby.

She swore to herself. Why had she rushed in and attacked two grown ass men (who, incidentally, may or may not be supernatural to boot!) instead of hiding and creating a strategy?! Now she was useless, Tikki was gone, and Adrien was surely on his way to get auctioned to the highest bidder in the criminal black market and ransomed off for an enormous sum. Great job, Marinette. Adrien’s been abducted and it’s all your fault.

Gathering all the determination she could muster, she tried to call out for help. But her voice was still too hoarse, and only a weak croak came out. She clenched her fists, grumbling irritably. Time for a different approach. Somehow, she needed to make noise.

After a brief search, she found a hard, metallic object that she could use to hammer on the door. She tested it out; it was surprisingly effective. She doubled her efforts, making as big a racket as possible. Hopefully, it would only be a matter of time before somebody heard her, let her out, and she could go find Adrien.

She couldn’t let anything else happen to another loved one. Not again.

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I'M REEEAAAAALLY SORRY FOR THAT CLIFFHANGER JSHDKFJHSKDF ᕕ(╯°д°)ᕗ  I tried splitting up the sections differently but it didn't really flow as well.

But the next chapter is almost done, so I'll have it ready by next weekend!!

[feckin-zicons]

that's why i hate larries, i hate them with all my heart. besides being boring they are hypocrites 🙄

Hey nonnie, sorry its taken me so long to reply but if you’re following me you know I’ve been travelling lately and have been more scatterbrained than usual. Not that I’m ever not scatterbrained, but its been just a little crazier than usual!

Now I wouldn’t go as far to say I hate Larries. After all their delusions can be pretty funny sometimes!

Joking aside, I don’t hate Larries, I love Larries, I’m a Larry, so I really hesitate to tarry the whole group with the same brush. However I do strongly agree with you that there are those who are complete hypocrites. Nothing annoys more more than when Larries ™ treat the other boys, other celebrities, their friends and even family as one more side character to the Larry Show.

In particular when Larries ™ flood comment sections asking or in some cases, ordering people to confirm rumors/the couple being together. The absolute fucking disrespect. Not just because they’re flooding comment sections in videos streams, tweets, what have you, that sometimes have nothing to do with the couple in question, but because its presumptuous and rude as fuck to think they’re owed a coming out- just because they’re fans of the boys.

Stop it. Thats fucking ugly as hell.

While I have no doubt all the boys will one day be out (as referenced by their continued efforts in fighting the closet. I don’t get the sense the boys will just stop at being freed from their contractual obligations). It should and will be on their own terms. Provided they’re not forcibly outed some other way.

Coming out is a deeply personal experience and no one, no one ever, has the right to out someone else. I’ll never not be absolutely furious at the Larries ™ who posted about having ‘receipts’ that would out the boys. Which… tbh weren’t receipts at all but thats a whole other story. I’m also still angry at the reactions after Liams Attitude spread that wouldn’t have been as bad if not for the entitled fandom that peddled ridiculous claims beforehand about Liam confirming Larry to be real.

I mean… What the actual fuck. Setting aside the fandom experience of the time, and boy was it an experience. What right would Liam have confirming Louis and Harry’s relationship? I mean, get some perspective? It doesn’t help that a lot of fandom adults were the ones coming up with, and reblogging those theories and the younger fans ate it up. It would have made more sense for Louis and Harry to do it but idk maybe I’m still out of touch for thinking so. I mean, it felt like every other week someone was talking about Larry coming out. It was such a shit storm oh my god.

Biggest issue I still have with them is that the entitled behaviour hasn’t stopped. For some it seems like, Larry coming out is it for them. Like pack it up, goodbye, shows over, Louis and Harry are gay and in a relationship and everything is rainbows, we get to see cute pictures of them and everyone lives happily ever after.

Yeah, no. Coming out, for anyone, is just the beginning, can’t even begin to imagine what its like for them. They’re still going to need everyones support, and it irritates me that for some fans it seems so fucking conditional.

Time and time again, I’ve seen tweets, and posts, and videos, whatever, going on about Larry coming out and it reads like a fucking wattpad story. Not just that but its always on the assumption by the poster, on the off chance they consider the other 3/5ths of the band and Ziam being a possibility, that Larry will come out first?

What?

I’m sorry but, what?

Everything I’ve seen from the boys tells me they’re all in this together, they support each other and are working through the bullshit as a team. We have all seen the No Judgement music video yes? The merch, posts, double speak etc referencing each other, yes?

I mean, I suppose if you only look at Louis and Harry, like so many do, sure. Only Larry matters, everyone else is a side character in their life.

(Lemme just, scream for a second).

However, that kind of thinking leads them to the wrong conclusions. Like… assuming the SBB/RBB countdown was attributed to nothing, when it counted down to Liam finally being free of Sophia. In the years since, I’ve seen Larries ™ backtrack on claiming the bears had anything to do with the boys, that they weren’t behind it at all, or that they were just trolling the fandom.

You know, despite all the proof otherwise, and some really, really good posts breaking down clues about what the boys were trying to tell us. The moment something might not actually be about Louis and Harry its like all their thinking shuts off. Its frustrating. Really fucking frustrating.

Seriously, fans of the other boys as individulas, not just Ziams, have been talking about the stunts too and how they fit together. Its why we tend to be right, because we’re considering the entire group. They’re still a group. They’re not free until all of them are free.

Just for that Nialls coming out first. Lmao. I’ll call it now. Lets go Niall, whens the baby coming. We all wanna know. Its been years.

Imagine, imagine! Acting like coming out is some race to be won. The fucking audacity.

Go outside and touch fucking grass you absoulte ninny.

I get it, you want to be vindicated, you want to be rewarded for putting your faith in two celebrities being together.

Newsflash you dandelionfluff, its not a race, Louis and Harry coming out isn’t a fucking prize. Thats not what supporting a relationship looks like.

Its worse when someone admits they don’t know much about Ziam or the possibility of Niall being LGBT+, and claim they’re open to it, but then immediately tweet or reblog or sub tweet or tag comment a post or answer an ask from another Larry ™ talking about how Larries ™ are the most marginalized and persecuted group.

???

In what fucking world?

IN WHAT FUCKING WORLD?

If we wanna play that game, boohoo, the media claims Louis and Harry aren’t friends anymore because of crazy shippers. Meanwhile Zayn publicly isn’t friend with anyone and “left” the band… despite the Ziam fandom calling the stunt about either Louis or Zayn “leaving” and getting it down to the exact week (the second article coming out a week before about the Ziam kiss pretty much cemented it for Zayn leaving. Which did a lot to fan the flames of the already rabid fanbase when Ziam got two articles confirming a Ziam kiss over the years and Larry got nada. Like that actually means anything).

Not to mention Larries ™ using the hetties and management tactics against the other parts of the fandom to silence them.

Who cares what the media says anyway!  TPTB, 1DHQ, The Sun, The Mirror, Simon and his minions and their unpaid interns have used the media to split the fandom apart and it worked.

Who the fuck cares if the media calls the 1D stans delusional, you know the truth! The truth it out there and you’ve seen it! The truth is coming! Who gives a damn about what some two bit “journo” who failed out of their creative writing course writes? They get worse by the year. If it wasn’t so pathetic and hilarious I might actually feel embarrassed for them. They can’t even come up with new stories and have just taken to copying old articles, but you’re upset with them??? Give it a rest. Honestly.

The sense of disconnect, entitlement and victimhood of some Larries ™ is absolutely ridiculous.

Oh my god they’re Karens. I’m not trying to be insulting, but thats exactly who they remind me of.

I’m not going to say its a surprise to me that so many in the Ziam fandom are POC, LGBT+, and Neurodivergent and any combination of those, but I am going to say I’ve read a lot of Larry fics that just have Het sex made gay. Those in the Ziam fandom just tend to look at facts in a different way than Larries do due to their life experiences. A interfaith, interracial, relationship where one or both partners fall under the Bi umbrella (not saying Louis or Harry can’t be or aren’t Bi+ but rumors, and the way the fandom markets them, puts them firmly in the gay category) looks very, very different than gay or straight relationship. Both looking from outside and being in one. There’s just different dynamics at play that aren’t often realized or understood by the gays and hets.

Its not a bad thing. All relationships are different. The issue is that theres a lot of biphobia/racism/religious prejudice etc that arises from people being unwilling to understand the inherent differences.

Taking myself for example, I’m bi, like, bi as hell, and I don’t understand how gays and hets only like one gender. I just don’t. Can’t wrap my head around it. If someone asks me to choose one gender over the others to prefer I can’t. Its so stressful. My brain goes into panic mode and it feels like I’m being torn apart. My sense of identity is shaken- its a shit feeling. I just can’t lie to myself like that. If other people feel the same well, its no wonder bi+ have such high rates of depression and suicide. Its not about choosing who to like, there is no choice, I just feel attraction to everyone. Aces, I get. Its similar to being the opposite of what I feel, or not feeling an attraction to someone I’m not interested in. Easy. Gays and hets? I’m completely lost on.

Completely, and I know I’m not the only one who feels that way. But that doesn’t mean I’m not willing to try and understand where they’re coming from. Its alien to me, personally, but I’m not going to shut down the fact, that theres a fuck ton of people who only like one gender or try and make up reasons as to why they’re actually bi+

I digress, none of the boys fall neatly into the gay stereotypes, its just that parts of the Larry fandom have boxed Louis and Harry into certain roles to fit preconceived notions (likely do to them initially fitting in better with the white, sassy, somewhat effeminate twink thats been plastered all over Hollywood as their “LGBT+ representation” for years. Gag), they can understand better, and only look for proof to back up their theories but don’t look at things objectively.

They really need to get out more and make some LGBT+ friends that aren’t on the internet and talk to some gay elders. They need educating that’s not the often sanitized and insulting Hollywood version, that’s all I’m saying.

They made Louis and Harry more palatable for themselves and its… really gross.

I don’t know, I don’t get it.

Some Larries ™ turned the boys into their fandom and fanfiction stereotypes when they’re so much more than that. The Sony leaks should have been enough to dissuade the fandom, and prove that the brand sold to the broader audience is just that- a brand, and yet… Niall only talks about food and golf and Ireland and is only allowed to be straight or ace. If he exists at all its just to be Capt Niall. Liams slow and dumb and depending on the day he’s either Capt Liam or a horrific abusive homophobe. Zayns just The Worst, a unstable drug addict, and the boys hate each other, and they should have kicked him out of the band sooner because he never wanted to be part of them anyway, etc.

It drives me absolutely around the bend some days. They’re real people who don’t owe anyone anything, especially not coming out.

Yes, I think they will. But they’re not obligated to. They can change their minds, I’ll support them regardless of an “official” coming out or not.

Look, a part of me gets it. They wanna be right, they wanna prove the haters wrong, they want to be able to say I called it all along! The vindication will be sweet.

But like, it takes a quick look at someone other than Louis and Harry to realize theres something hinky going on with Liam, Zayn and Niall. Please listen to their fans who have spent just as much time as you have looking into Louis and Harry compiling together evidence.

It might take a weekend to watch the ILYSM and pterodactyl bros videos and a few more hours looking into some Niall blogs, which isn’t much compared to the hours I know they’ve spent looking into Larry. At least then they’ll have enough information to form an opinion on things.

I wonder, for some, what would happen if Larry didn’t come out, or didn’t come out first, or one of the other boys was outed against their will. Because… I don’t know. It seems like some would rather just be proven right at this point.

I get it. We’re tired. Its been eleven long years. But this isn’t a television show were everything can come to a head with a s3 or s4 cliff hanger and fixed in the series finale. Its real life, and they started off as boys trusting industry veterans who never had their best interests at heart.

Iduno. I just want some Larries ™ to take a step out of the echo chamber, realize life isn’t The Larry Show & co. And especially. ESPECIALLY, that every instance were someone, friends, family, co-works, industry peeps etc support the boys they are SUPPORTING THE BOYS, NOT THE FANDOM. They are not “confirming Larry for the fans” they’re doing it to support the couple, not to cater to the fandom. Please stop confusing the two. There’s a huge fucking difference. Learn it.

[doexoeyes]

Of Finches and Firsts

Alright, alright now we’re getting to the fun parts. Thank you again to those that are continuing along with the story. I hope you enjoy this chapter ♡

(Already uploaded chapter 5 on these sites)

Archive Of Our own link:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/26707513

Wattpad link:

https://my.w.tt/ZoUHpu1e59

Summary: “A Hufflepuff? Crushing on a Slytherin? Sounds like the start of a terrible joke to me, but ok.” You’ve harbored feelings for Draco Malfoy since your first year at Hogwarts. Secretly, of course, and very much from afar. But when you’re finally taken out of your role of being a background character in his life, will it be what you always wanted, or what you wish you never knew?

            Chapters

Chapter 1 ♡ Chapter 2 ♡ Chapter 3 ♡ Chapter 4

Chapter 3: A Forced Confession

A few days later, on the way to classes, you passed by your friends at the courtyard who you caught laughing and hollering together, clearly looking very amused.

“What’s got you all so entertained?” you asked, a single brow raised in questioning.

Mauve turned to look at you, trying her best to stifle her laughter.

“Oh, you completely missed it! Malfoy was starting up trouble with Potter once again and Professor Moody intervened and turned Malfoy into a ferret!” she informed you, bursting into a fit with the others.

“He was even white, just like his hair! It was bloody hilarious,” Milton chimed in, letting out a very unflattering snort.

Your eyes widened, and although you tried to, you were unable to keep your face straight. The thought of Draco as a ferret was too funny to act like it wasn’t.

“No way! Isn’t that like, against the rules? I’m pretty sure a professor can’t use transfiguration on a student, especially as a punishment,” you noted, putting a hand over your mouth as you tried to control your giggling.

“Oh yeah, McGonagall was furious, but it was too good. He even forced him to go into Crabbe’s pants!” Mauve answered and you just about lost it then and there, clutching at your side with the rest of the giggling Hufflepuffs.

“He’s gonna be scrubbing himself till Christmas. I can’t even imagine what that must have felt like,” Augustus said with a shudder.

“He made a very cute ferret though, didn’t he? For the first time he looked rather sweet and harmless,” Mauve added.

“I say he should spend the rest of the year as a rodent. See if maybe that humbles him,” Milton teased as the rest chorused in favor.

You shook your head at this, finally able to regain your composure.

“Come on guys. He’s not that bad...” you said and immediately regretted it once they all directed their attention towards you.

“Not that bad? Y/n, do you not remember the countless of times that boy has terrorized the students here? Not including the barbaric way he treats Harry and his friends, mind you,” Mauve said, looking at you as if you grew another head.

“Yeah, remember how last year he casted that dreadful Bat-Boogey Hex on me? I had bats flying out of my nose for an entire night! Our bed chambers turned into a bat sanctuary and never mind the fact that I had my exams the following morning,” Augustus complained, clearly still upset about it.

You grimaced, imagining the scenario in your head.

“And how he talks back to the professors and flaunts his status in front of everyone. Do you know how tired I am of hearing him say ‘my father will hear about this’? I’ve started hearing it in my sleep!” Milton adds in frustration.

You recoil at their gazes and could feel the judgement radiating off of them. You weren’t a fan of this kind of attention.

“I’m aware that he’s done terrible things, but...”

“But what?” Mauve interrupts. “He’s different on the inside? Seriously Y/n, it’s almost as if you’re in love with him,” she says with a roll of her eyes before turning back to face the rest of the group.

You remained there, focused on keeping your face blank when you felt Mauve’s eyes back on you again. You noticed your friend’s eyes widen and her mouth part, looking as if she caught on to a secret she wasn’t supposed to know.

“Will you excuse us for a second,” Mauve announced to the others, grabbing hold of your hand as she pulled you away from the group.

“You’re in love with him!” Mauve stated in shock, trying to keep her tone hushed.

“What?! No, I’m not! I am not in love with him,” you quickly assured her, shaking your head rapidly.

“But you definitely like him! You can’t lie to me, we both know you’re terrible at it. You seriously have feelings for Draco Malfoy!” she spat out in exasperation, looking as if she were going to be sick.

You could feel the heat rising on your face, completely embarrassed. This was exactly the reason why you kept your feelings to yourself.

“Mauve, please...”

“Listen,” she said, cutting you off, “I honestly think that it’s a terrible choice on your end, but it’s your choice nonetheless. If you have feelings for Malfoy, then there’s nothing I can do but respect that. But please, Y/n, do keep in mind who he really is. Don’t let your feelings romanticize him for your benefit, because in the end there’s a pretty high chance you’ll only get hurt and disappointed,” she warned, eyes softening in concern.

You silently processed her words, instinctively biting your lower lip.

The words Mauve had said weighed heavy on your chest.  You were grateful your friend cared enough to say what she did, but you didn’t understand why it was even necessary in the first place. You weren’t in love with the boy, and even if you were, nothing was ever going to happen with him. You were just pining from afar, as pitiful as that sounded, but you were quite content with that.

You just wish your friend understood.

Mauve’s words continued to replay in your head for the entirety of the day, even after classes were finished. As your friends ate and conversed during dinner, you remained quiet, lost in the ghosts of the words Mauve had recited back in the courtyard.

“Don’t let your feelings romanticize him for your benefit, because in the end there’s a pretty high chance you’ll only get hurt and disappointed.”

That was the line that haunted you the most.

————————————————————————

The day of the first challenge for the Triwizard Tournament had started with giddy excitement from the entire school. You had been dressed from head to toe in Hufflepuff pride as you and the other girls in your dormitory, Mauve included, got ready together, enthusiastically adding yellow glitter to your faces and yellow ribbons in your hair.

Walking out of the castle building to where your section would be located, you felt someone tap you from behind. Turning around to see who had done it but finding no one in sight, you furrowed your brows in confusion before turning forward once again and coming face to face with Draco Malfoy.

“Hello, Finch,” he stated, a mischievous smirk taunting you from his lips.

You instinctively swallowed.

“Hello, Malfoy,” you responded back, eyes looking up at him, unsure.

He tilted his head, silver-gray eyes scanning you.

“I see you’re dressed for the occasion. Rooting for Diggory, I see. Although, if you really were loyal, you would wear those ‘Potter Stinks’ buttons he had his lackeys pass around,” he said with a dark chuckle.

You nervously adjusted the yellow ribbon tied to your ponytail, clearing your throat before responding.

“Actually, Cedric wasn’t a fan of those in the first place. He told everyone to stop wearing them, which I think was the right decision. We want to see him win without the need to put any of his competitors down,” you answered, quite confident in your statement despite the nervousness you felt around him.

He raised a brow at this.

“Is that so? You really believe that he’ll win this?”

Despite the smirk disappearing from his face, you still felt like he was taunting you.

You nodded. “He’s been working really hard for this. He’s determined to win and he can do anything he sets his mind to. I think anyone can,” you answered sincerely.

He remained quiet after that, gaze still transfixed on you. Nervously, you played with your ribbon once more and caught his eyes following your hand movements.

“That’s a pretty ribbon you got there,” he commented.

Your eyes widened slightly, surprised at his choice of words and the sudden subject change. “Oh, t-thank you.”

He stepped up closer to you, a little too close, and your breath immediately hitched in your throat.

“Mind if I...” he trailed off as he raised one hand, purposefully grazing it against your cheek as he reached for the ribbon, causing you to nearly sputter out a strange sound of surprise at the sudden feel of his skin on yours.

Even though it was just for second, you could feel how cold his skin was against your cheeks and a shiver ran down your spine. He was so close to you at that point that you could breathe in his scent; old wood, green apple, and some very strong cologne. You could feel his hand toying with your ribbon as his eyes stayed locked on yours.

“...keep it?” he finished, and in one swift movement, you felt him pull at it, smoothly untying it from your hair as he dangled it in front of your face, nearly brushing your nose with it.

You were frozen then, unable to process what had just happened.

With a wink, he walked away, but you couldn’t figure out a way to get your legs to work just yet. Instead, you stayed standing in place, eyes fixed on the yellow ribbon hanging from his hand.

♡

Tag list: @sadgirlnumber92899​

[lauralestrange7]

𝓐𝓼𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓲𝓼𝓶 | 𝓢𝓲𝓻𝓲𝓾𝓼 𝓑𝓵𝓪𝓬𝓴| (Part 2)

 If you are enjoying the chapters please comment for new chapters, mentions, chapter requests, suggestions, ideas. 🌸

Find the other chapters here :-  Masterlist

The motto of the Lestrange family is "𝓒𝓸𝓻𝓿𝓾𝓼 𝓸𝓬𝓾𝓵𝓾𝓶 𝓬𝓸𝓻𝓿𝓲 𝓷𝓸𝓷 𝓮𝓻𝓾𝓲𝓽" which would when literally translated in English would mean "a crow will not pull out the eye of another crow." Referring to the complete solidarity amongst a group of like-minded people regardless of the consequences or condemnation.

Tag list :-

@blackpinkdolan 🌻✨@mais-e​ 🌸✨

 Laura sat down in her usual seat and took out her potions book and started skimming through the chapter they had done last class "So Ms Lestrange" Slughorn spoke up, Laura looked up at the Professor as he continued in a matter of factly tone "You are friends with Mr Black aren't you?". Laura was confused as to why Slughorn would ask such a question, but she answered with a short nod "Yes Sir". Slughorn hummed in response and then walked a few steps towards her then he lowered his voice, it wasn't necessary to do so as there was no one else in the room but the pair of them.

 He said "Has he mentioned anything about a project he is doing? I believe for Defence against the dark arts." but he didn't wait for her to respond as he continued, "He asked me to sign a permission slip for him, you see, that would grant him access to the Restricted Section of the library." Slughorn finished saying as he raised an eyebrow whilst studying Laura's face for any kind of reaction. Laura on the other hand was clueless about this 'project' Regulus was doing "No Professor, I don't know anything about it" she said but then she didn't want to screw up Regulus' "project" or for whatever reason, he needed access to The Restricted books, more precisely the Dark Arts Books. So she quickly added, "He likes to keep to himself though, professor. However I will talk to him about this if you want me to?". She looked at the latter. He clicked his tongue and shook his head "No no, that won't be necessary" the students had started to fill in. So Slughorn went back to his desk, the lesson started soon after. But Laura had zoned out 'What project?' she thought 'Maybe an essay' but she couldn't remember when they were asked to write an essay or do a project related to the dark arts in their fourth year, and Slughorn didn't seem very convinced on this prospect either.

Laura walked out of the library, very pleased with herself as she had finished a transfiguration assignment that was due the next month, today itself, if she was being completely honest though, it was indeed an easy one. It was about six in the evening and people were heading to dinner. Laura however made her way down to the Slytherin Common Room in the dungeons, Regulus was not in the common room she noticed. As she then made her way to her dorm putting her things away. Laura put on a green sweater as she smirked walking out, knowing just where to find her best friend. But of course, things couldn't just be perfect for long in the miserable life of Laura Lestrange. Someone had walked into her as she was making her way out of the dungeons, she stumbled back and then looked at the person who had just killed her mood. The person was Evan Rosier, his eyes stared intimidatingly at her "Lestrange" he said smirking. Evan Rosier was the nephew of Cygnus and Druella Black, making him Rodolphus' in-law, and he was just so insufferable, arrogant- the list could just go on. "Rosier," Laura said shortly tried to walk past him and of course he didn't let her. He blocked her path and chuckled "So where are you going off to in such a rush?" he asked looking at Laura who was trying her best to not look annoyed, he just loved getting on her nerves. "Am I the one in a rush Rosier? Wasn't it you who walked into me?" Laura asked looking at him and raising an eyebrow. Evan smiled softly saying "Love, I simply didn't see you there", Laura rolled her eyes "It was just so lovely talking to you," she said sarcastically as she walked off. Evan stood there looking at her walk away as he smiled to himself and then resumed walking to the common room.

As Laura reached the astronomy tower she took no time in seating herself beside a figure which seemed lost with fascination, his mouth agape as he stared at the sky. The figure was slightly startled as Laura sat down beside him "Oh it's you" he said once he recognised the person who had broken his trance. "Nice seeing you too Regulus" Laura replied. Usually, they both would sit together in silence whenever they came up here to stargaze, they'd sit and stare and gaze and stare for hours at end, but today Laura had a question brimming inside her. She looked at him then said softly "Hey Reg", to which the latter responded with a hum not bothering to look away from the beautiful cosmos. "Did you-have you been reading into Dark Arts lately?" Laura asked, this question seemed to make Regulus look at the girl in front of him. "Why do you ask?" He said after a while trying his best not to look suspicious as he looked down shoving his hand in his jacket pockets. "Have you though?" She asked again bit more sternly this time, it wasn't like studying dark arts was a bad thing for their families. They both came from families who could use Dark spells without giving it a second thought, but Regulus' sudden interest had caught Laura's attention. "Yes," he said after a while softly still not looking up. Laura noticed her friend's discomfort, but Regulus quickly said again "Just for research" he said looking at her. Laura just nodded saying a quick "Okay" deciding not to make things more awkward.

Want to read it on Wattpad? No problem here you go

All the characters (except Laura Lestrange) and places mentioned in this story belong to J K Rowling. So I’ve posted a few chapters of this stories on Wattpad, but I’ve got a lot of it already written down, I’ll try to post any new chapters on Tumblr as soon as I can. Please reblog, it would be very appreciated and my requests are open.

[sincerely-unopenedbox]

A Not so small first post

Hey, Call me Casey

I read somewhere that online blogging or just keeping a journal anonymously can help, what's to lose if I give it a shot? 

Sometimes, I feel worthless. Or like an ugly waste of space. And recently it has been building up, a lot. A lot of times, I just automatically assume everything is my fault. My friends have been pushing away from me because of my state of mind. I wish I could say things verbally as well as I can write them down when I talk to people about my feelings. But I do have suicidal thoughts, and they are hard to explain. The pain of hurting myself gets the emotion out of my head. People have suggested therapists, and one of my friends went behind my back and told a counselor to talk to me. I do not know which one of my friends did this, but I have a strong intuition. The thing is, I know whoever did set up the appointment had seemingly good intentions, but if they listened to anything I have said, expressing my feelings verbally to anyone can give me more anxiety than keeping them bottled up in my head. I know that it is most likely that no one is going to read this, because readers probably want a story, not a journal on my personal life. But, if there is anyone out there reading this, comment something, anything. Anything that you think might help me.

I will try to start from where I remember it starting. I have always not been satisfied with how I look, and I know you readers won't know what I look like, I am simply stating how I think. And for a while, I had a close friend who helped me out of it, we will call them Haven, because of how safe I felt with them. Haven is beautiful, and I have known them for 5 years. They helped me for a while, made me feel beautiful too. Not more than they were of course, that beauty most come from another realm. But I stopped harming myself, and I was starting to become more positive about myself. I've known for a while that I was Pan-sexual, and I felt an attraction to Haven. I told them how I felt, they remained neutral. I took this in stride, unlike past confessions, I was not shot down. 

Another friend, which we will call Riley, whom I have known for 3 years. I am also very close with them. I keep a small group of tight knit friendships. I never said anything to anybody else about how I thought I was feeling about Haven. Riley, confessed to me that they liked Haven (Where is my reality T.V. show contract..?). This sounds like a plot for one of those teen fictions you would find in that one section of a book fair. I supported them. Smiling, pushing them forward, like always. Riley got the suspicion something was up because of how I act, and how I have always acted around Haven. It seems that Riley had not noticed how I had acted for the past 3 years around Haven until she started to believe she had feelings for Haven. Now, Riley does not have that much experience with things like this, so I suppose the only direction they have is from Wattpad or soap-opera teen shows. I believe that due to this lack of realistic knowledge,they started acting childishly jealous.

Haven, Riley, and I are in a group chat together with two of my other friends. I openly talk about my anxiety and how I think about myself in this chat, as to request for help or just explain why I act the way I do (The way I carry myself, and to explain the murmurs I whisper under my breath when I mention how clothes would not look pleasing on me etc.). Eventually, Riley messaged me off to the side and, from my perspective, and summed up said that the way I fill every conversation with how I feel is selfish, and that they (Riley) didn’t want to put up with it anymore. That was about a month ago, and the weight of her glares and childish cold shoulder are building up on me. I told Haven vaguely what was happening, avoiding actually telling them what was happening. Haven figured it out.

The situation continued to grow worse, I could not focus on anything productive. All the help Haven had given me in building a positive mind and mentality fell over. I returned to my depressed state, which comes with a short temper in my circumstances. I ended up pushing away Riley farther and my other friends. Haven was concerned until someone told her she shouldn’t be involved in this kind of situation. Haven also is Pan-sexual, and this someone told them that Haven was just confused. Now Haven has pushed away from me, and those other two friends? Well I suppose majority rules in this friends group of 5. The sob story continues as my heart feels like it has been ripped out, and I don’t have an appetite or any motivation. 

Seems like it is true, typing it out lifts some weight. Well, persons of Tumblr, If you have feedback or suggestions, feel free to comment.

Sincerely, Casey

[thingstosaybutnotconfront]

Who changed? The Internet or me?

My first introduction to the internet was my dad telling me about it in the later nineties, in the UK. I think he used it at work, but I’m not entirely sure. Can’t really ask him now. 

When we moved to Spain, I recall being allowed access to it, I’d play the Cbeebies website on sundays. I don’t remember which games I played.

I know that when I got older I started using the CBBC, I do remember a game about these puffs in a garden or something along those lines. 

I remember a party designing game and plenty of dress up. I vaguely remember the Barbie website and that I enjoyed it. 

I remember watching all of the Barbie movies on YouTube and playing on that GoGirlGames site or something. 

A lot of this sites are still around, nowhere near as good as I remember, but they’re around. 

My dad used to download demos from Shockwave or BigFishGames for me to play while on holidays, I have fond memories of some of these games. Some, like VirtugalVillagers I even still play to this day. Goodnes, how I loved Virtual Villagers. 

I remember messenger when I was in late primary school, probably around ten years old? Perhaps younger. I had a laptop I shared with my younger sibling, up until then I mainly played video games on it, one’s I had on disk or that my dad downloaded for me. But messenger was different. 

I liked it, at first, I could make sparkly text and send funny images. I didn’t like who I talked to. 

I got messenger because the other kids at school told me I had to. Once on there they had a nice private place to tell me everything that was wrong with me, I remember them telling me I didn’t dress nice enough, that my hair was all curly and bad. I remember being told if I was just a bit more pretty, maybe I could have friends. 

It was a message types into the computer and sent through the internet over ten years ago, probably closer to fifteen, I still remember how much it hurt. I can’t recall if I cried or not, I can’t recall how I acted, all I know is it hurt. It stills hurts. Which is weird, because it was stupid, I didn’t dress bad and my hair is beautiful, it’s the one thing I get compliments on the most, I don’t know why my bully said those things. I don’t know why she hated me. 

There probably isn’t an actual reason. 

That’s the weird thing about the stuff we do as children, there isn’t always a reason to it. 

In secondary school the internet changed into something more positive. I used to doodle a lot in class, it helped me concentrate, I had a new friend at the time, someone who finally accepted me and was honest and made my life better. She looked at my doodled in awe, saying how she could never do that and how amazing it was. That made me happy. It made me blush and I didn’t know how to feel, but thinking back to that now, it makes me happy still. 

At the time I had a DS, I played a lot of pokemon, I got into Mystery Dungeon, specifically darkness, I’d google it on the internet. I ended up watching mostly speedpaints on YouTube. 

I was in awe at what people could do. So I took the program I had on my old laptop, used a mouse and drew. I don’t know how I found DeviantART, but I did, and I published stuff on it. 

I remember a girl my age commented on the picture, we quickly became friends, she introduced me other like minded individuals. We often made friends online, we were an always growing group, we used to play text based RPG together, we’d draw each other’s characters, create new characters, write stories together, chat. We became teenagers and with teenagers comes drama. 

This was all such a long time ago. Yet these were still important relationships to me. I wish things hand’t ended. 

I remember one of the girls was a bit older, she was super friendly and always had good advise. I remember crying when she told me she would pray for my dad when he was diagnosed with cancer. 

Those people on the internet, who I never ever saw, they were as much my friends as the girl I mentioned before, whow as in awe at my art, who was the first person I told about the diagnosis, I remember that first day at school after my dad was diagnosed, I thougth I was hiding my pain well, she saw through it and hugged me so tight I remember crying. I cried because she hugged me, I cried because my intenter friend prayed. 

The relationships I had online were meaningful. They helped me through hard times. 

I also remember RPG forus, fandoms, tumblr and fanfiction. 

Not all of this things are gone but they sure as hell have changed. 

Nowadays, I wish I could build this meaningful relationships online. But I don’t. I don’t really know why. Is it me or the internet? I don’t recall ever seeking out these relationships as a kid, they just happened, people commented, you responded. It was natural. 

Nowadays, the Internet doesn’t really feel like a two way road to me. I publish stories on Wattpad and my own site because I don’t know where else to put them, usually nobody reads them, I publish art on Instagram because deviantART has too much bitter sweet nostalgia, likes are exciting at first, but there not really feedback, I publish my thoughts on tumblr and open my heart on YouTube. But I do so alone. 

I also get information from the internet, a lot of it. But again, this is one way conversation. I say what 2+2 is and the internet responds 5. Then I check five other sources because something doesn’t sound right. 

Sometimes I hold conversation, usually in the commend section of a YouTube video about some noche topic. But more than often, I find myself talking to myself. That’s what the internet is for me now, it’s me talking to myself. 

So I ask myself, what changed? The Internet or me? 

Or perhaps, both? 

Because I’d be a fall to assume the Internet is static, it hasn’t been since the day I was born. But neither am I. Two of my roommates are a couple who met on an online game, so I know people do build meaningful relationships online. But not me. Had the internet changed where other people, different to myself are the ones to build relationships now? 

Or perhaps, perhaps all those years ago, what happened to me was a one off, a stroke of luck, a pure coincidence. Perhaps neither the Internet or me have changed, and I’m just wondering why I never won the lottery a second time? 

I’m not upset about this. I ponder it often. But my life is different now. Yes I miss my online friends, I also miss plenty of offline ones. I’m not lonely. I have friends, I live with them in a home I call my own. 

I just wonder what changed and why. Because knowing things are different but not knowing how is a frustrating feeling. 

Perhaps I should take a break from the internet, but everything I do is online. I draw using references from a site, I write on the OneDrive site to ensure it’s never lost... I don’t understand people who can take breaks from the internet. It doesn’t seem real to me. Perhaps I’m the one who isn’t real. I haven’t after all existed in a world without the internet. The real world, as my dad would say. Perhaps I am as real as the internet? 

[hajiiwa]

tagged by @aizawashoutah, @shitabukenjirou, and @foxyena !! thank u guys so much~

1. How did you come up with your username and what does it mean?

hajime = haji, iwaizumi = iwa, haji + iwa = hajiiwa~ i love my mans but not many people understand my username 

(the rest will go under the cut!)

2. Which fanfic of yours has the most feedback? (bookmarks/subscriptions/hits/kudos)

huh, well

FMK technically has the most hits and kudos (something i am a little disgruntled about, seeing as it was not a fic i worked very hard on), only fools has the most comments, kaminari is a schemer has the most bookmarks, and of fountains and flowers has the most subscriptions so idk what to tell you. i wish ofaf had more recognition bcos i’ve worked hard on it rip

3. What is your AO3 profile icon, and why did you choose it?

it’s kuroo!! and i just chose it bc i Love him and it was an icon i made that i sorta liked so

4. Do you have any regular/favourite commenters?

yes and i love them all!! seeing names that consistently pop up in my kudos/comments section really warms my heart <33 i’ve made good friends that way tbh

5. Is there a fanfic that you keep going back to read again and again?

uhh there are many that i like to go back and read, mainly by my fav authors that i’m subscribed to

6. How many stories are you subscribed to? How many do you have bookmarked?

bookmarked: 53 subscribed: honestly, i... don’t really subscribe to works? i’m subscribed to 8 authors tho

7. Which AU do you find yourself writing the most?

oooh, probably... medieval aus or domestic magic aus? and slice of life

8. How many people are subscribed and bookmarked to you in total? (you can view this on the stats page)

Subscriptions: 80 (rip, i didn’t know if u meant user subs or work subs so i combined and it’s still a tiny number) Bookmarked: 203

9. Is there something you’d like to write about but are afraid of people judging you for it? (Feeling brave? If so, share it!)

umm... i don’t think so? 

10. Is there anything you would like to be better at? Writing certain scenes or genres, replying to comments, updating better, etc.

finishing current projects before taking on new ones, avoiding burnout, the usual

11. Do you write rarepairs or popular ships more often?

well i’ll go based on haikyuu since those works take up the majority-- iwaoi is set firmly in first place based on number of works followed by bokuroo, both of which are fairly popular so i’d say that i lean more toward the bigger ships but i also have works for kurooiwa, iwaaka, tengoshi, etc

12. How many stories have you posted on AO3 to this day (finished and unfinished)?

22! that number fluctuates a ton because i’m very impulsive and if a fic doesn’t receive the recognition i feel it deserves/i no longer like it/etc i take it down

13. How many stories do you have saved in/with your writing program?

that i have yet to publish? too many.

14. Do you write down story ideas, or just keep them in your head?

i normally keep them in my head, unless i think they’ll turn into something bigger and then i’ll jot them down!

15. Have you ever co-authored a story?

not yeeet~ @frenchibi have plans to tho. i have tried to co-author in the past but it mever worked out

16. How did you discover AO3?

when i graduated from using wattpad,, fun fact, there is so much smut on there that i legitimately thought ao3 was just used to write porn. i was both horrified and confused

17. Do you consider yourself to be a popular or famous author in your fandom(s) on AO3?

lol

18. Do you have a nickname or fandom name for your readers?

no...? this question assumes that i would be Popular (honestly do fanfic writers even have “fandom names” for their readers?? im)

19. Was there an author who inspired or encouraged you to write?

not really, no. i stated writing fanfics when i was really young on my own, unprompted, and i’ve met other authors through that medium that have helped me?

20. What writing advice would you give to a beginning author?

interact with other writers! i know it seems daunting, but leave comments, go to spaces where you will find other writers, participate in events-- there are few feelings more satisfying than seeing familiar names pop up, either in your notifications or in a group you’re in. most of the time, they’re all very kind and you won’t regret letting them into your life!

21. Do you plot out your stories, or do you just figure it out as you go?

i plot out almost always, though this sort of bites me in the ass. it bores me when i’m writing to already “know” what’s going to happen and that’s why i lose steam. it’s weird

22. Have you ever gotten a bad comment on a story? If so, what did you do?

sort of. i write a lot of angst and i’ve gotten quite a few “fuck you author” comments-- most of the time they’re paired with “for making me feel these feelings” or “for writing something so sad” or some shit but i don’t appreciate that bc, like, fuck you too? i’m sorry that you felt the need to cuss me out?? i tag pretty liberally and if you felt that you couldn’t handle the topic i was writing about then you shouldn’t have clicked

unless it’s, like-- a friend or regular going “fffuCK YOU AHHH” which HAS happened and makes me snicker lmao

23. Is there a certain type of scene that you have a hard time writing? (action, smut, etc..)

huh. i’m trying to become more proficient in the Big Three (smut, angst, and fluff) and thus far i’ve got one of three down p good. but specific scenes i have trouble writing would have to be scenes in which i have zero experience and pretty much have to improvise-- it helps me grow as a writer, ig, but it’s just frustrating

24. What story(s) are you working on now?

the rest of the writers’ inktober prompts

a fic wars piece with @frenchibi

a post breakup iwaoi

of fountains and flowers final chapter

a handful of voltron fics, 4 of them sheith

alien!iwaizumi

maaaany half-abandoned drafts

25. Do you plan your next project(s) before you finish your current ongoing story(s)?

YES AND IT IS TERRIBLE SOMEONE STOP ME

26. Do you have a daily writing goal set for yourself?

nah. motivation is fickle and i don’t want to make writing a chore. writer’s inktober was hard enough (it’s december and i am still not done :,)

27. Do you think you’ve improved as a writer since you first started?

considering i started on wattpad, yes lmao. i’d like to think that i have since i’ve been on ao3 but hahjajhjkh

28. What is your favorite story that you’ve written?

i reeeeally liked writing a bit of magic is key and three’s a crowd because they were both humorous domestic magic aus~ but i’ve liked most things i’ve written tbh. also, obviously, of fountains and flowers.

29. What is your least favorite story that you’ve written?

that i’ve posted? i honestly don’t know. maybe you can be so stupid sometimes because i was just starting to write iwaoi and i now hate the way i portrayed them, not to mention that this dumb little fic has more kudos than my recent stuff and i just *clenches fist* don’t think it deserves that

30. Where do you see yourself (as a writer) in 5 years?

not sure. maybe i’ll have ofaf finished by then hahah,, but really i don’t know. writing is a tool but fanfic writing is just a hobby

31. What is the easiest thing about writing?

i’m pretty good at writing emotionally charged situations. also dialogue, i find banter or long back-and-forth conversations fairly easy

32. What is the hardest thing about writing?

transitions, justification of characters’ actions. the hardest thing writing-related would be fighting through envy and feelings of inadequacy but i experience the former plenty anyway rip

33. Why do you write?

i write because i enjoy it-- i love creating my own worlds, interacting with other writers, living vicariously through my characters

well, that was fun! i’ll tag @frenchibi, @astersandstuffs, @minyardxva, @josai