#just kidding ive never posted about this before but point stands

[absintheanflare]

once again i am fucking begging people to stop lumping ocpd with ocd, or acting like they're interchangeable. i know theyre named similarly but they are not the same thing.

[megamindsupremacy]

So. ive been going through your billy batson tag bc im very normal and super hinged about this kid and you ARE right about Billy growing up the normal way and how that would effect him, but I need us all to consider the opposite: The Magic went "Ah, he's pure of heart bc he is but a lad", and not *letting* him grow up. Billy being immortal but stuck as a kid forever. The realization everyone is going to grow up w/o him. That he is *always* going to be a kid. That could be a very bad time too.

OH MY HEART. you're so right and i'm kissing you on the mouth. okay i need to marinate in this now stand by

so I think it's fairly accepted now that the Wizard chose Billy to be Shazam when he was so young because all of the previous Champions were adults, and that went Badly (see: Black Adam). So obviously, if the adults can do the whole superhero thing, then we should give the role to a kid. But then, to take it a step further: if the adults can't do the superhero thing, then we should make the next Champion stay a kid.

And like, it takes a hot minute for Billy to notice. Say he became CM at 8 - he doesn't know the average rate of growth for a boy. He just thinks he's not getting as tall as quickly as his peers. It's not like there's adult supervision around to go "hello small small child, why are you still small and a child?" I could see him going at least a few years before realizing there might be something wrong. Then it takes him a little bit to figure out what exactly is wrong, and then a little longer to be in denial, before he finally has to come to terms with, yeah, he really is 8 years old for the rest of forever.

I wonder how it affects him, mentally? Because you could go one of two ways: either he stays mentally an 8 year old forever and doesn't mature, although he gains knowledge and experience with time, or he does mentally mature and becomes an adult, just stuck in the body of a child.

For angst reasons, I like the second one, but realistically, the whole reason he's in this mess is because the Wizard wanted someone who was pure of heart to stay pure of heart. Why go through all the trouble to not let him physically age but allow his mind to change? So now we have an eternally "both mentally and physically a child" situation.

I feel like, when you're that young, you can't really... process how devastating that is? He's only a little kid - at that age, you can't even imagine turning 18 yet, much less living out the rest of your life as an adult. He doesn't know what he's lost. So instead of Billy angst, it's outsider POV angst. Everyone is growing old and watching Billy stay the same as always. I imagine he reveals his identity at some point, a while into being Captain Marvel, and they have a Twilight moment of "I'm 8" "....how long have you been 8?" ("no, but actually, we've known you for 12 years, you can't actually be 8. what do you mean 'a wizard did it'."). Everyone is just quietly mourning the person Billy could have become, had he not been chosen to be the Champion of Magic, meanwhile Billy is living out the eternal childhood dream of Superpowers + Adult Body w/o Adult Responsibilities. It's tragic in a way Billy can never comprehend because of what the wizard did to him.

Feel free to add onto this post!

[lilislegacy]

you may have gotten a similar ask before, but I'm new to your blog, so i just wanted to ask: what do you envision Percy and annabeth's post-college life to be like? how many kids? girl/boy? names? (If they have kids at all?) their jobs? where do they live? what does their house look like? do they have pets? what are their relationships like with the other demigods? This might be a lot for one ask but you seem like you can literally dive right into percabeth's minds so I just thought I'd ask 😅

ok. you have just asked me a question that i instinctually want to answer with a 3,000 word essay. so i am going to keep this as short as possible (which is not short at all.) i’m also open minded, so my headcanons can be changed if i see a take i really love. but these are my own beliefs

i think they get married. definitely after college. i know some people think they don’t marry because of hera, but i can’t stand the thought of them not doing what they want because of a god. (i also have a hc that they kinda blackmail her lol. as in she goes to them needing help - a quest - and they say they’ll do it only if she swears on the styx to never interfere with or harm their marriage)

i think they both do a lot of things over the course of their careers. annabeth is an architect, but she does multiple things with that. she creates some big famous attractions, she designs a greek version of new rome, aka “new greece” or “new athens” or something, maybe she builds hideouts for demigods (suggestion from a previous asker), etc. and for percy, i think he definitely does something that involves helping marine animals. he can literally speak to them - something no one else can do. he also is very protective of all sea animals he encounters in the books. so he needs to be doing that. personally, i love the thought of him becoming an aquatic vet. but there are several other marine animal related jobs that he could do in replacement of/in addition to that. i also see him doing several things throughout this life, and i made a big post about my thoughts there. i’ll link it at the end of this post.

they definitely have kids. no doubt. they’ve been thinking about having kids together since they were 16. i love the thought of them having 3, maybe 4. i think their first is a boy with short blonde curly hair and sea green eyes. i also think he has a “p” name, since his dad is named percy and his paternal grandfathers are poseidon and paul. but i don’t have names for any of them. ive always imagined them having 2 boys close together and then a girl later on. but i don’t have exact ideas, you know?

i think they live in a few different places. they probably start off in new rome, then eventually in new athens/new greece, and then i think nyc again at some point, maybe when the kids are grown. but i think they always try and live on/near beaches or lakes, when possible. (for obvious reasons)

they do a lot of traveling throughout their lives. because annabeth loves it, and percy loves seeing her happy.

they definitely have a family dog (look in the linked post for my thoughts on that.) plus horses/pegusi will always be around their place.

i don’t have exact house details in mind.

and they keep in great contact with all their demigod friends. both roman and greek.

all i know for sure is that they remain best friends who are deeply in love. they’re always each others battle partner. and they do everything in their power to not only protect their kids, but to make sure their childhoods don’t contain the same darknesses that their own childhoods did. they’re amazing parents, and they’re gonna do great things. they’re both going to use their abilities to help so many people and creatures. and their lives will never be dull or “normal.” not even for a second. and they love it.

my thoughts on percy’s career: ⬇️

[decaydanceredacted]

admin help ive been thinking about girl pete (like actual cis always-a-girl pw) and how in that universe patrick would've put like four kids in her at this point 😖😖😖

like the first time they fuck, they're kids and it's a saturday night after a shitty show in some bar. and they're in patrick's room just messing around like they always do. but the adrenaline post show or whatever has them wired and one thing leads to another and suddenly patrick has his fingers down the front of her jeans. and pete has her fingers around his and is showing him how to touch her and she's so fucking wet and needy she let's him hit it raw (because they're dumb kids and just best friends at this point and no one thought of a condom). patrick comes almost instantly because he's seventeen and it's the first time he's getting his dick wet so of course he doesn't pull out. the mere idea of pregnancy, the feeling of patrick's warm come inside and dripping out gets pete so hot she ends up flipping them and riding patrick's face into oblivion. they go to sleep wrapped in each other and have breakfast with patrick's mom like nothing happened <3

except they keep fucking through the years. maybe they don't even officially date, pete has her string of partners and one night stands and patrick has his number of girlfriends, but from time to time post show celebrations or nights at the studio or fights around the songs end up with them fucking. in the van, behind a bar, in a bathroom or in green rooms. and they always do it raw and patrick gets such a possessive kick out of it bc he knows only he gets to have pete like this. none of her boyfriends get to come inside her and rub her belly right bellow her womb tat while he's still deep inside her pussy and no one else gets to see their come dripping down her thighs.

their first kid is deffo unplanned. a drunk fuck after some record party or whatever, too horny to even think of the consequences. and ughhhhhhhhhhh what if pete is already married/engaged at this point??? does your husband know??? that the baby isn't his???????? god, another win for infidelity.

the hate sex doing folie is extra hot. not only bc it's how their arguments end up but bc he knows he's gonna leave her so there's a morbid desire of patrick to leave a bit of him in her as a reminder that she's his. meanwhile pete's thinking if she can baby trap him. it's awful on both parts and it doesn't work anyways.

baby number 2 is the reunion baby. they've been writing songs together again and they just can't help it, they end up fucking in the floor of patrick's home studio. they keep working on their shitty songs and they keep fucking and they get the band together and they have their comeback album and it's a success and truly it is like reunion sex because they can't keep their hands off each other. the pregnancy is like the culmination of everything they worked up to this point to fix, a reminder of the commitment they have to each other now and a promise to never leave again.

baby 3 i guess would be around ab/ap era? early mania??? idk it's the honeymoon baby. they've just settled and they've gotten their heads out of their asses and they know they want to expend the rest of their lives together, so baby. or maybe they have a quarantine baby???

4th baby is deffo current era. they've finally, after everything in the world and with them, found the joy in what they do. and their record is so loved and they can look at the past now and the tour has been amazing. and maybe they're aboard and having the sweetest most disgustingly sappy married sex. you know weeding rings clinking and slow caress and i love yous mumbled against skin. truly sickening in love sex. and after all these years, more than two decades jesus christ, patrick just knows how to play her like an instrument. he knows just how to flick his fingers and how to use his mouth just right to have pete under him shaking and whimpering and so wet. he gets her to come twice before he even fucks into her. and pete grabs his face and pulls him up and rubs her thumb against his beard, wet with all her slick and come, and tells him she kinda wants to have another kid. and patrick just shakes and kisses her so hard because he's been thinking about it too and there's nothing he wouldn't give to pete. all of it has always been about giving pete what she wanted since he was a kid. something about her pulling him in and wanting to do anything she asked just so she would look at him and only him.

they come back from china with a plus one.

fin.

(PSA kids don't do any of this. fucking use a condom ffs)

.

[future-boi]

Get To Know Me Tag Game!

Thanks to @mythical-bookworm and @alex-a-fans for tagging me.

tbh this is just a song rec list LMAO [easier to open in a browser fyi]

1) Spell your name in songs

Y'all get two for the price of one cuz I couldn't decide if I wanted to go with all non-English songs or not.

The non-English songs are labeled with 🧋 in case you wanna avoid 🤪

Warning: Most of the songs in english have swear words so... just in case u got kids or ur strict parents around LMAO.

⚡️ F: Fighter Not a Lover

aro/ace people gonna love that shit ^ + no swear words

alt: fml u fucked me up

⚡️ U: URARA🧋

It translates to 'Oo-la-la', which I now realize is the magazine Biff was carrying around in the second movie... this was unintentional and the meaning of the song is very wholesome, trust me

alt: Upside Down

⚡️ T: this was a demo for this one song...

That one's like 50% f-bombs ^ i love it

alt: Toxic but its NOT Brittany, B*tch 💅

The most aggressive entry on this list

⚡️ U: Up Up and Away

The only f-bomb is in the second verse

alt: Unmei no Roulette Mawashite 🧋

'unmei' means 'destiny' so you know I had to include it

⚡️ R: Raining in Manila (half 🧋)

Couple of dudes just vibin' out in the studio, what's not to love?

alt: RAHHHH

^im convinced this is what suburbanites see in their nightmares

⚡️ E: Electricity (half 🧋)

alt: Extensyon

Both make up the most WHOLESOME entry in this

⚡️ -(hyphen): Hatid Sundo 🧋

Baby. Baby boi. Baby. vibes ^

alt: Hell to Sell

EVIL. vibes ^

🚫🧢 I have a problem with tonal whiplash. Did I cheat and use the hyphen to include the most wholesome and cute song right before pulling out the lowkey most scandalous song in the list? YES.

Just realized it doesn't work as well if you can't understand it, but trust me. I mean just listening to its vibes is enough 😩

⚡️ B: Balik Sa Umpisa 🧋

Any song that samples/remixes 'Stand By Me' is a W in my book.

alt: Bodybag

I'm just self-reporting at this point.

Ok the rest are very wholesome songs I swear

⚡️ O: Oretachi Rookies 🧋

alt: Oh, Imagine That

ok this one's tied for most wholesome in the list

⚡️ I: I/Me/Myself

gnc/nb people gonna love this shit ^

alt: I Really Like You

that was a struggle, R is the top pick to check out imo. E, O and I are the wholesome ones with no swear words if u care.

2) Why did you choose your URL?

Its based. ..off the song in the musical. I got back into the fandom because of the musical so I owe it that much. 'boi' sounds more gender-neutral than 'boy'

3) What is your middle name?

That's a secret!

4) If you could be any mythical creature, what would you be?

Shapeshifter.

5) Favorite color?

Purple. Lavender/Periwinkle specifically.

6) Song you love right now?

What? 🧋 The amount of crackhead energy, but genuine emotion... AND AESTHETIC. it was literally made for me LMAO Ken is so aggro but hes singing about not littering. like why is he so intimidating-- but i support the eco-friendly king. but fr the song is about waving ur flag with pride??? PRIDE???? and they look androgynous asf??? whats not to love

7) Top four fandoms? (Current Fandoms?)

Back to the Future

That's it

jk uhhh, Invincible

Thats it, dont wanna get into past fandoms rn

8) Tag nine people

mf u think i know 9 people??

im playin, lemme tag some cool people... not that u have to do this, i just wanted to bother u 🤪 but feel free to do it, i wanna hear other music 🥺🥺🥺

⚡️ @maxintime LOVE UR ART STYLE. BEEN TOO SHY TO BOTHER U THO 😭

⚡️ @jowritesfanfiction my inspo, my density, ILY. Im never shy bout bothering u in my posts HAVE U GOTTEN THE RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST ME YET 🤪🤪😭😭😭 ive tagged this mf in every other post istg

⚡️ @moth-makay ur great frfr 😭😭 all the hugs. r u gonna post more art??? cuz u shouuuld 🥺

⚡️ @bttf-dork ur name and pfp give comfy vibes??? its very endearing. dunno how to describe it, but i like seeing u in my notifs 🥰 bUT UR ART DOHHH. immaculate. underrated.

⚡️ @pepsifox88 i hope u continue to cook ✨ everyone go and GIVE THEM SUPPORT, I AM NO LONGER ASKING

and to the rest of u, thank u for liking a bunch of my work, whenever i see long lists of likes like that, or if i see ur name often 'nuff, i always notice 😇, i never know how to say thank you!!

@leftoverspagehhti

@karorurodriguez

@epikprinc

@mapleflavedpepperoni

@xmaster3000

@jayisnotdrawing

@jackofthecards

@ectojester

@cat0marble

Didn't include everyone, but just know that i noticed you!!! 💝

watch me get reported for harassment by all these people 😂

[phayz]

pleeease keep talking about toys...i think this is interesting and smth i've never thought too hard about but it makes sense and i like to hear your opinions on modern toys

(ask pertaining to this post)

holy shit okay !! i would love to ramble on so, i shall!

okay im no expert on toy sales history, this is all just observation from my life experiences and i'll try to keep each part i want to go over relatively short!

that being said lets start with a small one that i've personally noticed as a canadian: Kinder egg toys! i remember when they used to come with like 4-8+ pieces, and you needed the included step by step manual to assemble them. they would often come with sticker sheets to decorate them with, and they would often be articulated or be set on wheels or have some sort of fun or movement or general functionality to them:

dont those look awesome? wrapped in 2 kinds of chocolate, and for only like 2$! i remember they would come in all shapes and sizes, all sorts of animals and vehicles and sometimes freaky little abominations, as you can see above, and sometimes even puzzles! they were such a special treat as a kid.

but kinder eggs now? come with a maximum of like 3 pieces that just snap together (usually the front and back of the toy, and then the platform they stand on). and thats all they mostly are now, stiff toys that stand on platforms wahhooooo yippeee

idk just look at the quality difference from the old ones above compared to some of the new ones:

like..... these are..... nothing! literally nothing. just a figure snapped to a pole/platform and thats it! not very interesting for more than 3 minutes max.

now i know what you're thinking: "not ALL of the old kinder toys had to have been bangers" and you'd be right, some were lame as hell, but even the lame ones from before look more intricate than the ones we have now, like can you see what i mean, just detail-wise?

it just feels so cheap and shitty, i could go on and on but more is explained later. point is, it sucks.

anyway that's a very small example and we can move onto bigger and better ones, and maybe even one that everyone else might have noticed by now; McDonald's toys! remember when they were actually toys?

and not just stiff figurines?

(the minions franchise was like CRACK for companies who love making profit off of nothing but stiff rounded plastic. probably the cheapest form of "toy" i can think of)

and yeah, again, its not like there werent figurines back in the day too, there's ALWAYS been lame as hell mcdonalds toys, but looking among many modern mcdonalds toys, you dont see anything as cool as the old ones. literally every major modern movie/franchise right now is nothing but figurines. the most recent actually interactive mcd's toy ive seen is when they collabed with hasbro games

again, companies just seem to be pumping out quantities over quality.

but why?

well, for starters toys are becoming cheaper (both in price and quality) because prices have sky rocketed and stores are forced to only stock cheaper things, therefore the cheap things sell the most, and then more of them get made, and statistics get fucked, etc etc the cycle repeats.

but toy companies know one thing, and that's that things that are "cuter" always sell more. "cuter" being used with vitriol because their idea of 'cute' is 'more glitter and sparkles and rainbow colours and obnoxiousness' oh, and dont forget the huge soulless bug eyes on all of them!

i know that people love these things, but theyre so..... uncanny. their stare is piercing, their stance is so stiff, i always felt bad actually playing with the only one of these i had growing up, and not just because it freaked me out, it just genuinely didnt feel good to play with.

and i knoowwwww people are obsessed with these things, but come on, you have to admit theyre SO unoriginal! theyre just cookie cutter shapes!

these things are horrifying and, at best, belong on a shelf.

these "beany boos" are so woobified and almost feel like a flanderized version of a stuffed animal, and they've completely taken over "beanie babies", which were wonderful soft little things that actually had movement and weren't stiff to cuddle! I also feel like they're almost trying to copy what webkinz was, in a way, as some of those were stiff too (but still loveable and not burdened with an uncanny, vacant stare)

anyway this is getting insanely long and im sorry but i feel like im going insane every time i see new toys nowadays. the like.... "cuteification" of everything is driving me insane, and the fact that they are simply just lower quality than what we used to get, because of prices rising and causing easy-to-make things to become more and more popular.

examples to further prove these points:

extreme woobifying or "cuteification" by almost completely removing all horse anatomy in favour of thin limbs, heavy makeup eyes that are now on the front of her face, and modern influencer eyebrows. on a horse.

and the extreme-simplifying of toys can be seen quite well on those mini polly pocket sets!! see this one here?

almost allllll of those little plastic things could be rotated or rearranged or moved or fucked with in some manner, it was awesome. i loved these miniature houses they always came with so much shit. wanna guess what the newer ones look like?

you guessed it, like shit!!

man even beyblades used to come with like, all sorts of different pieces both metal and plastic alike, and you had to assemble them yourself and you could interchange pieces to obtain a different weight which would affect your attacks against other beyblades, etc etc:

and looking at them now? they seem to be mostly made of- yep, you guessed it, hard cheap plastic.

anyway holy shit i literally reached the 30 image limit on a single post tumblr really said thats ENOUGH !! i cant believe i just spent that long talking about the worlds most pointless thing but at any rate i hope you enjoyed it and i hope you see my vision. because like i said im not insanely knowledgeable on any of this in particular, but its hard not to notice the decline in quality of all of todays modern toys.

[rikebe]

hii if you're still accepting asks about the akihiro x bobby ship meme, could you explain in detail the trust/jealousy/etc scales? also is bobby canonically 5'4" bc 😳❤

I WISH BOBBY WAS THAT SHORT IN CANON </3 unfortunately that's just my hc bc i'm so much smarter and chaddier than all of marvel :/

BUT here's the scales!

bobby:

trust: i def see bobby as having a bit of a cynical streak, so i think he takes a while to warm up to trusting. he has a way of internalizing shit and overthinking and is very neurotic, and i think he can absolutely overthink himself into mistrusting his partner on a wrong day even if he knows he's being irrational :(

jealousy: pretty much the same thing, plus i think growing up as the baby-faced dweeby kid of the x-men doesn't really give you a huge amount of self-confidence. i think he can really struggle w seeing himself as like, hot enough or good enough and project that on other people through jealousy, especially if he has such an objectively sexy partner as akihiro. again i think this is something where he'd KNOW he's being unreasonable but he can't help feeling that way

horny: LISTEN. YES he dresses like the assistant manager of a gamestop. YES he's a boring account. but i know. when i look into that unassuming, boring little face of him i know he's a horndog. if he wasn't he wouldn't have fucking bothered with the little song and dance akihiro and him have, because let's be real, akihiro's a pretty big shithead to him consistently and still bobby's like teehee! let's waltz! teehee! oh no let me kiss that death seed away teehee! that's classic horny for villain behavior. you can't hide behind those cargo shorts, bobby drake. i know what you are.

clingy: to me he's a pretty big relationship guy and is really attached to his partner, which is great if you're on mutual terms but i think can come off as pretty clingy if the other guy's looking for something a little more casual lol. def the type to keep texting a few times after getting ghosted before he gets the hint. oops

akihiro:

trust: BIG HUGE MAJOR trust issues. this guy spent his entire adult life seeing interpersonal relationships as entirely transactional and only started getting into this "unconditional love and trust" shit like five years ago. it's a learning curve. he's the guy in a sitcom who thinks their partner is cheating and starts stalking them

jealousy: see trust. same thing. if some guy is talking to bobby at a bar akihiro WILL stand menacingly close by and then be really annoying about mentioning that thats his BOYFRIEND and they're DATING. the guy asked bobby for the time

horny: controversial BUT: i don't think akihiro is very horny. he's been shown since his first appearance to be very liberal about sex, but in almost all instances these interactions are about control and power. akihiro uses his inherent appeal and other people's attraction to him to get what he wants in his never-ending ploy for power and evil-doing. to him, sex is transactional, it's just something he does just like he lies and pretends to be something he's not. ive seen some interpretations of him as asexual, which i think is really interesting and cool and a great take! i don't know where exactly on that spectrum i see him, i think he does enjoy sex but it would be a really different thing for him to sleep with someone he actually cares about, to the point where i could see it causing whiplash when he's being shy about it all of a sudden :')

clingy: i put him pretty high on the "needs attention" scale which i explained in another post, but i don't really see him being all that clingy. i think i might have coloured it in a little high here even since i think it's a hard thing to define, but basically i think that IN a relationship he would be a little clingy and want to be around his partner a lot, once he gets to a point where he can comfortably express those feelings, but he would never run after someone or try to cling to a partner that's dumped him. he thinks too highly of himself to debase himself by showing that he cares about another human being. this is about SAVING FACE, damn it

[real-odark]

25apcsb enjoyers listen to me talk about(/kind of review it for you? except not really because i will never say anything bad about this production) my favorite production of the show!

ever.

MAD theater i LOVE YOU.

i saw their production live (the first time ive ever seen this show live or a production by this company) and it was AMAZING. this is my favorite cast for this show hands down and let me show you some stuff and why you should love them, too !!

(IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO HEAR ME TALK ABOUT IT/WOULD RATHER SEE THE CAST, I HAVE PICTURES AND A VIDEO NEAR THE BOTTOM OF THE POST!!)

here are all of the spellers! arent they the cutest :3 they all portray their characters PERFECTLY, and im currently on a hunt to see all of them in more performances because WOW . i know the point of the show is for it to be obvious these arent preteens playing them but all three of the girls were so cute honestly id trust them if they said they were it was so good. im gonna talk about all of them too !;;

their leaf was obsessed with sonic (sporting a nice sonic cape), and had a very good dynamic with every character and audience member he interacted with ! he say by me when he was eliminated and we talked a bit, and met his actor after the show. ALSO, playing logainne's dad with his soda and being the soccer mom ever is 100% approved by me . the way he effortlessly exchanged between the two roles was . AH.

olive was PERFECT. i cried at the i love you song so bad her little pom poms and im just mhejkn, her fidgeting with the strings of her cat hoodie whenever she was nervous was a great detail just small things like that

CHIP. chip chip chip. boy scout of the year, and JESUS ON A SCOOTER. he was so sassy and his little shenanigans made this character so good hed bite his lip and do little faces like that all the time he never broke id trust this man with my life

barfee , so nerdy i cannot resist this guy. he looks like he smells like hamburger and you know what? perfect. meeting him afterwards, he said that his shoes (for magic foot) were glow up sketchers and both of them were supposed to glow but only ONE did (the other broke) a few nights before and what a champ because he just went with it and CHANGED THE FOOT HE WAS USING to match the one that glew. i wouldve had a breakdown but go richard brown. through the whole show his bad accent and wet dog looks intrigued me

marcy was literally perfection, she had ME stressin out for her. i was sitting by the actresses' grandma and she was so fond of her its so cute. her singing voice is AMAZING there is a clip online i know of its on the theatre's tiktok but to hear that in person when its the song that got me into the show was wow. i relate to her very much and she made this character so personal even with just being in bits and pieces of the show

and finally, logainne. god she was SO FUNNY. the interactions between her and her dads, as well as the other spellers, were hilarious but also so real feeling. her actress, taylor,'s dedication to this role really showed and it worked awesome in the character. her appearance and outfit is the BEST for logainne btw??? no ones talking bout that its so so her ...,

^ also since i mentioned leaf's water bottle, logainne had a pride one + barfee had a pokemon cup. i think olive had one but if she did it was in the bleachers so i couldn't see, but i love how all of their bottles (yes even something just SMALL LIKE THAT) represent their characters the details in this show are sjsjd

here is a picture with the adults too! ill talk abt those three next;;

rona. again, had me crying in the stands. she was adorable the whole show though, with her little quips and interchanges !! her + panch were so funny and also shes GORGEOUS?? but her soccer mom teacher type deal is exactly what i picture rona as.

panch reminded me very very much of ron swanson. he was so sarcastic and hes just such a big guy with all these kids it played off so well !! i love so many different interpretations of panch like twink panch and butch panch, but i think this burly panch with his soft, creepy side for rona was my favorite !

and now, lastly, mitch. HE KEPT BUSTING OUT AS THE SIDE CHARACTER WITH THE AMAZINF SINGING VOICE AND IT CAUGHT ME OFF GUARD EVERY TIME ??? mitch himself was so so awesome, the tattoos and drug apparell (i am struggling spelling that) fit so well. and also, he just looks so mitch mahoney doesnt he?? like. the character fits the actor so well id be shocked seeing anything else from them because mitch was the perfect role... again, his brief dynamic with all the kids is so goofy

the set;;

it was so cute and the details in the posters on the wall were so childish it made me giggle. they even advertised their theatre's next production, which will be urinetown!! they had seats ON the stage (which is where i sat, naturally), which i think makes for a fun and realistic effect !! when the spellers were eliminated, theyd sit there (they had reserved spots) :3

its evident that all of the cast members had very good relatioships and play off that REALLY well

a little photo dump of them!! on the MAD theatre social medias, they have more and clips of them, too!! id definitely reccomend checking them out because the show's closed :3

overall; i have so much love for this cast and MORE PEOPLE NEED TO AS WELL!!! so here you go 😊😊

[freddie-77-ao3]

Emoji ask game:

🤨😉🕷️🐦‍⬛😝

First thing I notice about a person:

I don't know what the first thing I notice lol. I think it's just whatever is the most 'noticeable'. i'm pretty oblivious in general so things don;t typically stand out to me.

Favorite hobbies:

hmmm. so, you know, writing and reading are absolutely two of my biggest things-- I do primarily write fanfiction right now-- or rather, that's what I post-- but I do write essays for fun when I've got the time/energy to do a bunch of research. I think I like writing them about the same. Also, hockey of course-- luckily there are pick up games most nights in the summer, and when college starts again, so do sports. Also sports wise, running is great (when I have the energy and lung capacity+low pain, which is pretty rare). Outside of that, you know, I'll weave a little, but that's about it. sometimes I do pot holders too-- easy enough to make, and there's always someone who'll take a pot holder or two so I don't end up with 50 pot holders in my closet like I did when I was ten lol.

A phobia:

I think I only have one phobia?

Needles, I was actually perfectly fine with when I was a young kid. I didn't feel the pain, so I didn't really get the point in being afraid of them, plus I was a chronically ill kid so I was around needles for IVs and blood draws and sometime glucose monitoring a lot. anyway, that changed when I was eight.

I was in the hospital again... not actually sure what it was that time-- I think I might have fallen? anyway, whatever it was for, I needed a CT scan with contrast, and had to get an IV. but at this point I'd been in the exam room for five hours, and i'd not eaten or drank anything all day before that, so I was pretty dehydrated, you know? and so there was this nurse that like. was pretty young, probably fresh out of school and he was trying to get the IV in and.

he couldn't get it in. I was counting the pokes. he tried 36 times. I was screaming. he couldn't get it in. eventually an older nurse came in and did it but like. that was heavily traumatizing so.

Embarrassing fact about me:

other than every fact about me? my crush told me she liked me and i ran away and we never spoke about it again and we're still best friends and I still like her. that's a top tier one. might have shared that one before.

also very embarassing but the way my family's kitchen is set up I need to climb up on a chair pretty much every time I cook or I can't reach everything I need.

Favourite quote:

only one?

rats. i'm really bad at picking favourites. (seriously I almost never answer favourite questions honestly because there's so much decision making, so anyone here's a couple top ones)

"because I’m hungry and hollow and just want something to call my own. " richard siken. to me the something here is always someone.

"A meltdown feels to me like epilepsy of the emotions—all circuits firing madly, set off by a trigger just as epilepsy can be set off by flashing lights. I have as little control of it—" this is from an account of having autism from an older person and it just always resonated with me. first read it right after I had a pretty big public meltdown though, so that's probably why i got so attached to it.

"Your co-workers ask if everything’s okay and you tell them you’re just tired. And you’re trying to smile. And they’re trying to smile." Richard Siken. Just vibes, i don't know what to tell you.

[baekhvuns]

HIIII BAEKSSSSS I missed you 😔 how are you? Wsp? How's everything?

Man, I've been pretty peaceful I'd say..kinda idk. Maybe the calm before the storm but that's besides the point. I miss your work so so so much 🥹🥹🥹 like rlly, not wanting to pressurise you just GIRL RLLY MADE 2022 SUCH A GOOD EXPERIENCE.

Anyways I've been watching a ton of stuff ofc, found a new pakistani drama 😈😈 well it's kind of the same plot as u wld guess, but I like this one it's like if not a lot then a bit diff frm the same ass dynamic. It's like a first daughter x youngest son the fun part is it was supposed to be, first daughter x first son but he was a jerk and a red flag. So yes...it'd be fun, it's a silly dynamic imo ik for sure there are going to be a ton banters.

ALSO dude these asmr Rps be getting Outta hand 😭 Nah cz i cried. I CRIED. THE ANGST OHHHHH. Some asmr artists are just so fucking good like alanakamakwk i felt like I was in a movie.

Lemme tell u a bit abt it, so the concept was basically, an old bsf comes back into the listener's life not in a bad way or anything just cz the bsf lived farrrrr away.

"do you wanna see the new tattoo i got?"

LIKE OKAY and then we did trace them too and a while later the convo goes deep "i got this tattoo bcz u told me seven years ago, what you don't rmr?" And then he sort of reminisces over the old times

"and that day..I went home, and texted you how much I liked you. And wanted to hang out with you a bunch.."

"that didn't happen I never texted you."

BRO OMG OMG ONWKWJWKW IM TELLING YOU THE FREAKIN TENSION BW ME AND MY HEADPHONES.

And then the best part was the listeners bf calls who also used to be friends with the bsf, and goes "i love you."

In hopes of hearing it frm us too. "Dear...?" Silence.

NO CUZ IMAGINE STANDING IN FRONT OF SOMEONE U ACTUALLY LOVE AND U GOTTA SAY ILY TO YOUR BF WHAT??? OMG.

And then when he comes out to go run errands he talks to the bsf AKA THE ASMR ARTIST I TELL U HIS VOICE *melts*

"we'll see you right?"

"... farewell"

That's the visual representation of me I'm not even kidding. And....he just leaves. LIKE THAT?? WHAT ABOUT US AHHHH *dies*

Nah but yes, I've been obsessed now. At least it makes me feel something 😮‍💨

Ok also no way my old Bollywood obsession is dying anytime soon *listens to bol na halke halke*

Anyways bye bye baeks MAKE SURE TO TELL ME ABT YOURSELF HOW U DOING AND STUFF OK?? OK MWAH ILY 🤭

YOU SENT THIS LAST WEEK AND I JUST KIND OF LOGGED INFBWNDBSK SO SORRY

i hope you’re doing well!! i’m currently sick bc of a heatwave i caught at a wedding 🥰🥰

i’m glad you’re feeling peaceful! AND DHSKDHKW DONT MENTION IT FNDMSKC ITS BEEN 2 YEARS 😭😭😭 maybe my writing bug just dimmed LMFAOOOO haven’t been on here or read anything, ive been in my drafts just giggling and reading but never like posting or writing fbdndb but ive kind of, maybe wanting to write something for fall time which i’m not sure ill post but it’s got me smiling a bit!

WHAT IS THE SHOW TELL ME 🔫

omg i can never get behind asmr, i have this thing called misophonia, i just despise the way the arm sounds make my ears feel fmandksb i just feel triggered BUT U CRIED BC OF IT WHY 😭😭

u gotta send me the link of it bc the voice actor u say… 👁

does our bollywood obsession rly die 😭😭 the new tauba tauba got me going a bit crazy,,, heard the jannat bgm but sad version and iM OBSESSED WITH IT, it lowkey inspired me to think and write <3 got me giggling and imaging stuff <3 in my pillow fbwndbsj

[laffy-taffy-creations]

WOOOOOOOO WHUMPTOBER DAY 8 BABES

This fic was cross-posted on AO3 here

Collateral Damage

Overcrowded ER | Outnumbered | "It's all for nothing"

Fandom: My Hero Academia

Words: 1,188

Taglist: @athenswrites @lili-loves-whump

Warnings: hospitalization, power overuse, past experimentation

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The shaking started first. It was the first sign that anything was wrong.

Next was shouting. The sounds of things, walls, doors, windows breaking. I made the mistake of going out into the hall to figure out what was wrong and almost immediately got decked had I not ducked.

Villains. So many villains.

There was reason UA prided itself on security, it set up it’s offense defensively and it’s defense offensively. But the defense had broken somehow.

Shit shit shit what are we meant to do? None of the kids from the lower levels are heroes! Are any of them safe? Are they okay?

[Focus Clo. We’re a hero. We handle this.]

I had already ended up engaged in combat with some of them, but there were just so many that I wouldn’t be able to take any of them out using only the power I showed off.

We’re outnumbered. We’re out of options. We just have to stand our ground until support arrives.

But support wasn’t arriving. I put maybe 3 out of commission, and 6 more showed up for me and the others in the hallway. If we go all out now, it’ll end up hurting people. I cant get them all to safety in time.

Someone hit me in the back.

[Fuck it. Void.]

My power stretched and I let it go as far as it deemed through out the school, causing damage like no other. I knew it would end up going out of control, I fought to stay conscious the same as my fight to contain the full power of my quirk from harming innocents.

I let it rage, let myself go for just a little bit, let them have my wrath. Let them see exactly why they should never come back ever again.

I let the anger and hatred fuel it, let what had happened to me cause chaos, let my quirk handle and give proper catharsis to at least a small sliver of my fury. My happiness, my protectiveness, my want for others to live a better life than I had barred it inside as much as it would be leashed.

And after that I was in a hospital.

“No, nononono stay down! You need rest!” the nurse said when he saw me get up. My confusion must have shown. “We barely managed to get you in but you’re the current most likely source of whatever wrecked UA. You need to rest,” he explained.

My just-waking-up mind was still confused but I wrote it off in the name of sleep.

The next thing I remembered was waking up again. I could think more clearly now. There was an IV in my arm. I was hooked up to a heartrate monitor. I was no longer wearing my suit, instead being put in a hospital gown.

“They’re awake!” I heard vaguely.

My dad was the first to enter along side Ochako and Izuku.

The same nurse as before said, “their condition isn’t critical so we’re allowing the one extra visitor, but if it is to change at any point you all will need to leave the room and they will only be permitted to have 2 visitors after that. “

My friends nodded and my dad immediately crouched down by my bed side.

“Are you okay sweetie? Is everything alright? Did you use too much power?” he whispered so only we would hear.

“Yes… to all three of those. Ugh, I feel like death.”

“Yeah well, you almost put us in death when we couldn’t find you. What happened?”

“Uhhh…” I wracked my brain for memory. “I went to the bathroom, the building started shaking, I heard sounds of general conflict and when I opened the door there were way too many villains for anybody to feasibly take in a fight storming their way through the building.”

There was a pause.

“You mean you dont remember anything about UA having a complete shift in reality for like 5 minutes before going back to normal?” Ocha asked.

“Yeah, even those of us on the training field experienced some of it,” Izuku added.

The nurse cut in, “they’re the most likely source for where all that power would have come from currently, so they probably dont remember anything about it. Plus, if it was someone near them, some part of said power might have knocked them out or caused them to forget.”

“Are you telling us they were the one that caused all that carnage?��

“Most likely, yes,” the nurse answered.

My dad looked at me and I nodded. “They are,” he said.

All eyes were on him now. “It’s been something of a secret since I adopted them, but yes, they have a very intense and powerful quirk that, under the right circumstances, would be able to have done that to UA.”

“I thought their quirk was Illusion?” Ochako questioned.

“One of, yes. I have multiple. Illusion is the one I was born with.”

“...Are you trying to say there’s ways to manifest multiple quirks?”

I sat up. “Well, considering I can do this,” I paused and concentrated, letting my heartrate monitor flatline for a bit, “for a minute straight without any sort of repercussions, I’d say that’s a fair assumption.”

“But why keep this secret?” Izu said confused.

“Because I didnt get these of my own volition. They were forced on me.” Dont think about it dont think about it dont think about it.

“By who?”

“That’s a question best left to the police,” my dad cut in.

“A pro-hero,” I responded.

The silence and tension could’ve been cut with a knife.

“A…A hero?”

“Yes. A very famous one. One that nobody would honestly believe me. He pumped me full of chemicals and now the official quirk blocker on file for me is a sedative.”

“A sedative?”

“You saw how strong my quirk is. Normal blockers dont cut it, I have to make special ones for me that are 10 times stronger than the current strongest ones available to heroes and cops, and even those still break when I lose control.”

The silence was only broken by the small shuffling of clothing as my dad offered me a cup of water.

“...We had a tough time finding you. There was a lot of people rushed to 3 different ERs to properly accommodate how many people ended up injured and otherwise passed out.”

“I can imagine.”

“...What exactly does your, uhhh… lab quirk?... do?”

“I was given three. You’ll have to be more specific.”

“Uhm… The one we saw you use?”

I put down the water. “That one’s my most powerful. It started as a general item-creation quirk, with the main component being a form of matter manipulation that with enough stamina turned into this.” I shifted the room around us, changing realities, shifting the environment, then letting it settle back to normal.

”So it’s matter manipulation?”

“At one point while it was still developing fully. Its true form is much better described as reality bending.”

Ocha spoke up, “That’s… terrifying.”

“Indeed.”

There wasn’t much else to be said.

The truth is finally out.

[ejzah]

NCIS LA Season 14 Countdown, Day 10

A/N: This one is for Ascension (because I forgot it’s part of season 5, not 4). So, I might post season 4’s episode tomorrow instead.

***

One Last Run

Rest. That’s what everyone keeps telling him. You can rest now, Detective. You’ve been through a lot, Deeks, don’t strain yourself.

He’d love nothing more rest. Sleeping would actually be fantastic. To have a few moments of oblivion from his very unpleasant reality. Every time he closes his eyes, he’s faced with Sidorov, a drill that never stops whirring, and unimaginable that medication can’t even touch. He’d rather face every bit of pain though, than to wake up screaming again.

Circling the thumb and index finger around the opposite wrist, Deeks stares at the wall. It’s too quiet, too little time with his own thoughts. What he really needs is something to keep his mind busy. Or oblivion.

He feels weak, broken. Useless.

He grabs the temp phone Nell dropped off to replace his own cell which he assumes is in evidence. If it even survived his fancy dive into Sidorov’s pool. Ignoring the shiver that runs the length of his spine, Deeks opens his messages, his thumb over Kensi’s name.

It’s killing him not knowing what’s going on, knowing that Sidorov and his men are still out there with what they’re capable of. What they could to Michelle, Callen…Kensi. Swallowing harshly, he tosses the phone on the table next to the bed, forcing back tears.

A nurse comes and goes, leaving behind his medication, a snack, and more platitudes, which he accepts with a distracted nod. He knows she’s probably regarding him with sympathy he just can’t handle right now.

It’s as he’s picking at a liquidy cup of jello that his door opens again and he jerks, pressing back into his pillows, reaching for a gun that isn’t there.

“Kensi,” he breathes, ashamed of his reaction. “Hey.”

“Deeks,” she echoes, eye flickering over him, and it occurs him that she hasn’t seen him since he and Sam were brought into the emergency. He has just enough time to register that she seems relatively uninjured before she’s moving further into the room, a duffle bag clutched in her right hand.

“What’s going on?” he asks, words coming out slightly distorted.

“Sidorov knows about Michelle and he has her,” she replies, her eyes heavy with worry and something else. “We need your help. I brought some clothes for you, your gun, and badge,” she continues, setting the bag on the chair and quickly unpacking things.

“Do you know where she is?” Deeks asks, distracted for the first time in hours. He’s seen, felt, what Sidorov is capable of, and the idea of Michelle being subject to his sadistic mind makes him ill.

“No. Eric and Nell are working on it. We lost contact with her, and when we tried to breach the hotel room, she and Sidorov were gone.”

“Damn it. Does Sam know?”

Kensi turns, huffing out sound that might have been humorous if it weren’t for the situation. As she turns back, Deeks starts yanking out his IV and disconnects the pulse monitor on his finger.

“Are you kidding? He broke out hours ago, and was there when we found out. Hetty’s not happy about it.”

He wonders what Hetty thinks about his imminent escape. He supposes it doesn’t matter at this point. It’s not likely he’s coming back to NCIS, or anywhere else.

As he slides out of bed, something in his side twinges, and he clenches his teeth against the pain before he remembers that it’s a terrible idea. Kensi’s by his side in an instant as he gasps and clutches at the bed rail, instantly flashing back to the garage.

“Deeks!” Kensi’s voice is urgent in his ear, hands tight on his forearms. It’s enough to bring him back to the present and see her standing in front of him, though he’s still trembling. “Hey, are you ok?

She sounds shaken herself, though right now he can’t look in her in the eye.

“Yeah,” he lies. “I just bit down wrong.”

“You know, you don’t need to do this,” Kensi says softly. “If it’s too much…after what you went through Deeks, no one would blame you for stepping back.”

He glances at her, seeing a wealth of concern, and something he can’t face right now that has him just as quickly looking to the ground.

“No,” he says, realizing she’s still clinging to his arms. “No, I can’t just sit back. Not after what I’ve seen him do, after what me an Sam went through to keep Michelle safe. I need to do this.”

“Ok,” Kensi whispers. She’s still clinging to his arms, her touch warm, and comforting. Seeming to notice at the same time he does, she abruptly lets go, cupping her hands around her elbows instead. “I’ll wait outside while you change. Let me know if you need anything.”

Deeks nods, staying silent while as she leaves the room. Maybe is through with being a cop, but he can still save someone. At least this one last time.

[bewarethegrim]

Rereading some of Pete Wentz's old blog posts and found the most harringrove entry.

[noone ever fell in love with anyone because of empty pockets or red splotched eyes. drove around for hours tonight just to keep myself from feeling anchored. weighed down. to keep my mind off thinking about what kids like me deserve. desperation isnt a strong enough word (but it will have to do). my wrists are only black and blue cause i don’t got the balls. nothing gets you ready to have every single word dissected and put under a microscope. i got ringing in my ears but none on my fingers. i got sunsets in the veins on my wrists. we’re not just falling in love anymore, we’re demanding it. im the latest bloomer (dried out my wet dreams and saved them for a rainy day). i can still see you standing on my front porch- slowed my own thoughts down to a single blade of grass. you couldnt catch my eye cause i was too busy rolling them. the buttons on one side of your coat that wouldnt snap on the other side. they were just for fashion not for function you told me. you were pretty for a boy. it made me laugh when i thought of it, im sorry i wasnt laughing at what you were saying. it makes me laugh still- when im driving around for hours at night. id love to swerve off and blame it on the fog, but ive been talking on these roads too much lately. theyd spill all my secrets. this city won’t let me go.]

This first half is Billy, talking about how he feels stuck in Hawkins. His thoughts a cycle of the slurs and insults his dad throws at him, and the shameful fact that his dad isn't wrong. He looks at Steve and thinks he's pretty, and it makes him want to die but at the time time it makes him want to laugh because who would've thought his old man would be right? But he chooses to laugh because that's just easier. He drives, he drives too fast, and he thinks about how easy it would be to lose control. Just another tragic accident, but is anyone suprised? Tragic deaths are what kids like Billy deserve.

[im sure theyd lock me up somewhere if anyone saw me at 23 sneaking into cemetaries. taking pills to make me feel okay sleeping in the grass just above you. the sirens find me at the first light. my lips cracked and dried from the tears, i'll probably die a cliche. flash the lights to kissing boys. provocative. i promise you i wont ever have another afternoon like when we used to sneak out of school and drive the lakeshore. noone will ever sound as cool as you. we built cool. we made up style. we set the standard and theyre all just trying to live up to it. if theres nobody who thinks like us anymore. untouchable is unlovable. you always have me humming in my head just out of key. i bought an alarm clock just so i could hit the snooze button. whats the point in getting out of bed anymore if you only get out to say you did. if you could love the biggest fraud or the best liar- then im your prince. i was made just for fashion not for function.]

The second half is Steve. He finds the letter years after Billy has died. But as he reads it over and over again, he can't help but feel like it's not complete. So he sits down at Billy's grave like he so often does and he writes. Be writes how he feels like he's empty, unlovable and broken. Hidden behind years of lies and NDAs, no one could ever know the real him. He could never explain the scars, the nightmares, the paranoia. He finds solace in his memories of warm days spent with Billy at the Quarry. Billy telling him tales of California, and promising he'd take Steve to the beach, a real beach, once he'd saved up enough money to move back home. An event that never happened because Billy died before he could. He died in the town he felt stuck in and now he was truly stuck forever, under the grass and dirt below Steve's feet. Steve wonders how long it'll take him to join Billy down there?

[ap-sadistics]

jung qvq [erqnpgrq] naq [erqnpgrq] ba yzxgjg qb? bgure guna or naablvat v zrna

ohhhhhh its funny really. "funny".

its technically more than two. i hate their entire friend group. its a bunch of bnfs (big name fans) on twitter. its absolutely certain you know at least one of them if youre in the fandom.

the thing im most irked about how they leverage their popularity for create a biased narrative against me. when i technically did no crime. i never even Spoke to the person. never interacted with them once. what i did. is vague them. for having the most wretchedly ooc characterizations for the sake of shipping a rare pair. and you see. i didnt have a problem with the ship itself. no! my issue. was that their characterization fucking SUCKED. i dont care if they called it "redemption" or "character development". it. was. out. of. character. straight. up. so i tweeted about this kid. i didnt mention their name. i mentioned the ship. and how i was sick of seeing it on twitter. i also i looked at their carrd and saw that this (this is a screencap of a screencap sooooo its old)

and i was you know what. im gonna do that. and that was the end of that

(i also was like was the hell does a kid have like 2000 followers that gives me fucking hives. bc lets be real. having a large social presence on the internet at that age when your a developing person is like. not ideal. im essentially antisocial and the idea of having that many ppl follow me for my stupid thoughts is fucking TERRIBLE. ive softblocked followers before to drive the number down. anyways i was thinking about it from that perspective. being conscious of numbers is Bad.)

flashforward a few hours and i noticed it wasnt the end of that. somehow the kid found my tweet and then supremely misinterpreted it and then sicced their followers/their friends onto my account. that tweet had a Large amount of pqrts (the stupid twitter culture thing where you essentially put on masks and stone the apparent criminal. and i was like. well this sure is a thing thats happening. and they def were twisting my words bc they screencapped my tweet and was bashing me about it. with absolutely 0 reading comprehension. well my course of action was to just go on private to cut off the engagement. what am i going to do? acknowledge what was happening with a tweet for them to twist and play the victim again? im not fucking stupid.

its really funny that after i privated i got 5 follow requests. THE STUPIDEST FUCKING IDIOTS I EVER SEEN. blocked immediately. it was really funny.

thats not the funniest thing that happened tho. you might think that *i* might be playing the victim and that what happened wasnt that big of a deal. it wasnt. but also it sucked still. anxiety causing. but anyways it wasnt just a the qrts. after i privated, one of them reported my account for suicide

this was the funniest fucking thing that happened to me. i was livid during this whole incident but this was the funniest fucking part of this ordeal. it was HYSTERICAL. for the record there was none of that kind of content on my account! this is the most mentally healthy ive been bc i wasnt in my old uni anymore. not that i ever even posted about the kind of stuff ever.

this is clearly a petty attempt at harassment right? because they couldnt stand having someone think they are annoying and that their ship sucks (i didnt before but i do think it does now bc this incident made me hate the ship actually. because im petty too! but at least im self aware about it.)

someone also sent a bad faith ask to my fucking art blog because they haaaaaad to chase me down to a different fucking platform to harass me more

and like. what happened to me only proved my point. that teens shouldnt have a large following. this teen definitely abused their power didnt they.

who do you think had the worse experience. me or them? whose the real victim here.

if you think im problematic for fucking saying i dont like a person in public without once mentioning a name? get fucked.

also this happened again. it happened a second time. bc i found out there was a l/m/k zine going on and i said im not joining it bc they were a part of it. once again unnamed. LIKE OBVIOUSLY? IM NOT GONNA JOIN? it wasnt like i was going to fucking make it explode. but people toooooooook issue. i dont get how they find the tweet so fast im convinced one or more of them or their lackeys is stalking me. i could be paranoid tho.

anyways bc this is a friend group, the kid is a friend of a certain somebody. a very well known somebody. and bc they fed all their biased retelling of the incident to this somebody. im blocked by a very funny account.

super inconvenient really

you see theres more to it than this incident tho. i have an issue with how these people engage with their follower base. but honestly its a product of the kind of social media platform that twitter is. they clearly value the number of followers they have and to say it doesnt go to their head would be a lie. theres other specifics tho thats old news. that im not willing to divulge to an anon. who are you and why are you asking about a tweet from 3 days ago anon. you have me fucking paranoid. im gonna trust the fact you used rot13. out of courtesy. but im wary.

you might be able to deduce who the pricks are from the things ive mentioned here. but im not gonna say who they are to an anon. i dont trust like that.

[i-hold-horrors-hand]

I Never Saw You Coming: Chapter 2

Papa Emeritus IV needs a Prime Mover. Larysa needs a way to keep her cult from dying. They might just be the answer to the other's problem. And they just might fall in love along the way.

Consideration

(Also readable on AO3)t

  It had been a few days since Copia had met Larysa, and he found himself thinking about her a lot.

Which was no surprise—she was attractive, charming, and she smelled nice. Just those things alone could endear a person to Copia.

There was also just...a certain je ne sais quoi about her. He'd noticed it when she had sat beside him during their "interview", and when he had walked her to the abbey doors following Imperator's interruption.

She had smiled at him just before she left, and it just...did something to him. He couldn't explain it. But it left him feeling good...so good, in fact, the he hadn't been too snippy at the former Papa Nihil when he'd gone into his office (hence Imperator's interruption).

Nihil's words (or meandering personal complaints, really) had been instantly forgotten as soon as he'd left the spectral Papa's office, and he feel asleep that night with Larysa still on his mind.

He was already very attracted to her, and he wanted to see her again.

Maybe this could lead somewhere.

    * * * *

Larysa poured her second cup of coffee of the morning and stretched.

Just a few short days ago, she'd been "interviewed" by a Satanic anti-Pope in his quest to find someone to bear his child.

Despite being of succubus heritage, a lifelong member of a sex cult and its current leader, and every other decidedly not normal thing about her life...she had never imagined that she'd venture down a path like this one.

But hey—she was entering a new phase of her life; her daughter was in university and she had more time to dedicate to herself and to consider what to do with herself. And what else she wanted out of life.

What Larysa wanted, in all honesty, was to truly settle down at some point. She'd spent years sowing her wild oats (even while raising a childm pursuing post-secondary education, and running a cult, neither of which were easy things to do on their own and especially not together), having relationships here and there...it was fun, to be sure, but a new phase of life means new wants and needs.

And what she wanted was a solid partner, someone she could trust and rely on. Someone dedicated and steadfast. And she wanted more kids.

You wouldn't think a slut like her would even want another child, or even the one she'd already had, but she did. She loved Allie beyond all words, and being a mother was very fulfilling for her; raising someone from birth to adulthood was a beautiful (if taxing) experience, and she wanted to do it again.

Plus, she hadn't been looking forward to having an empty nest. Sure, she had a cult to run, but that wasn't the same. It got lonely at home, with no kids running around. Lonely and too damn quiet.

She wouldn't mind hearing the pitter-patter of little feet again. Just the thought of it made her smile.

Another thought that made her smile was Papa Emeritus the Fourth. He was cute, in a nervous-and-dorky kind of way, and he was polite and even kind of charming. He was also of high standing in the Satanic world.

That was another reason why Larysa had answered the ad.

  The Transnational Order of the Succubi had members across the globe...but membership was still down. For whatever reason—the general state of things causing apathy in otherwise potential members, or the rise of conservativism again—people just weren't joining like they used to.

Back in the day, when she was young, the cult had been teeming with members, and had no trouble attracting new ones. Women (and those of other genders) were embracing countercultural movements, which often led them to seek out sex and the occult. Which would often lead them to this cult in particular.

Brothels, sex shops, book stores, music festivals, mailing lists, websites, even good old fashioned word-of-mouth had guaranteed new members.

But not anymore. Now, people were disinterested, broke, apathetic, disconnected, or in lockdown or quarantine. They had no time, desire, patience, or opportunity to seek out sex cults like they used to.

The Transnational Order of the Succubi was shrinking, and set to be defunct earlier that they would've hoped.

People were still being born into the cult, of course. Larysa herself had contributed to that, as had her own mother. But that wasn't happening at a rate that would replenish their ranks anytime soon.

Perhaps associating with the greater Satanic Church could fix that—or at least temporarily slow the shrinking. Or, if it came down to it, she might even suggest merging with it. Not everyone would be happy with that idea, but it was an option that she was keeping on the table.

Better to merge than to disband entirely.

  Setting her coffee cup in the sink, Larysa yawned, stretched again, and made her way into the bathroom.

She had to get ready and make herself look somewhat presentable. She had a Zoom meeting in a few minutes.

    * * * *

Copia drummed his fingers on his desk idly. It was a rare slow day at the abbey, and he found himself having more time to think about Larysa.

She'd been friendly, and polite, and beautiful, and charming, and perhaps even vaguely interested in him.

They'd flirted a bit, and she seemed like Copia's type: confident, sel-assured, charming, and drop-dead gorgeous.

He wanted to see her again. He wanted to talk more with her, to get to know her, to see if they were indeed compatible. And to see if she had anything else in her wardrobe like that dress she'd worn a few days ago. Mrrow.

"You should call her."

Copia looked up at Aether, who was leaning against the doorway, a small smile on his face.

"You liked her, she seemed to like you, so why not?"

Copia waved a hand at him. "It's her move, not mine. I presented the idea to her, and now she decides if she wants to follow up." He hoped she did.

The quintessence ghoul straightened up and turned to leave. "She probably will," he said, over his shoulder.

Not five seconds after Aether left, did Copia's phone ring. And whose voice did he hear on the other end, once he answered?

Larysa's, of course.

Briefly, Copia wondered if clairvoyance was among quintessence ghouls' skillsets, before focusing his attention on the pretty little succubus who did indeed want to see him again.

[behindbrowneyezz]

12.5.22

Honestly, I keep putting off blogging because i know that when my dad gets free time...a sick thought in the head. Instead of just reaching out to me like a normal father, he decides to go stalk my social media accounts.  I've always wondered how he does this...im sure if its not some program he has discovered, then it probably is from katies page. Able to see all my pictures. The statuses i post. I don't mean just on here. in fact i dont even know if here can see this. BUT I do know he has checked my Facebook before, I know this from now 3 different relatives that have warned me about this. Somehow almost 3 years ago, he was able to see a very intimate status i had posted about my thoughts on him and the rest of my RELATIVES going to meet for lunch. Right in my area and didn't bother to send me an invite. Now I know very well most of them cant stand me. In fact i know none of them love me but my brothers, which im not upset about at all. We dont exactly come from a world full of wonderful humans. Each of us have HUGE skeletons in our closet. EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. The only difference is that i’m super open about the fucking mess of a human I am! I dont hide it. I wear it on my sleeve every day. Some days more then others. But it drives them all nuts. I cant help that i love to talk, that i feel like people that claim to love me...would be curious on what goes on in my head..but they truly hate it. they wish id be silent. a sober, silent, YES MAM kind of broad. But even as a kid i had this fight or flight mode that never got turned off.

You see, i got molested a lot as a real young toddler. YES TODDLER, i didnt really ever think it affected me much. SO i never really spoke about it. I always told myself that somehow it just didnt affect me so what was the point in bringing it up. It wasnt till i was 17 years old and started drinking that it started to come a problem. Once I started drinking heavily, i started to remember things i had went many years ignoring. If you were to ask my father about this he would probably say that he think i’m lying about it. I dont care. What sick fuck would i be if that i was lying about something so serious. It was his stupid ass that got a druggie pregnant 3 fucking times and let her teach us ridiculous things. I never thought that id lie to my dad as a teenager. But as EVERY teen does, of course there were days that i lied. he was miserable, mean, and hardly interested in anything my brothers and i had going on. SO DUH YES i lied many days about many weird things so i didnt have to see the devil come out. BUT i can tell you ive never lied about the assaults ive experienced. In fact, ive been so honest to myself over the years about it because its the only way that i know that i’m going to DO BETTER. I was raised by and raised around nasty awful lairs themselves. For years i would blame myself, my broken brain for these moments..not realizing i had to understand that at those times..i was a CHILD. no one was there to fully protect me. My dad worked his ass off to always make sure we had a roof over our heads, which thank GOD for that....but wow does he hate me for all those years he lost. SO now he lives a life of ignoring where he came from, a life where he chooses to ignore the first human HE helped create because im ‘DIFFCULT” imagine. imagine thinking your job is over as a parent at 18 because you kicked her out for smoking pot and tossed her shit in trash bags....then moved states for a woman your children dont even know much about. Imagine right?

Well that's my reality. YES ive made a million mistakes....and you know what else? I’m probably going to make a million more throughout my life. BUt for some reason my father feels like i’m the only one hes relalated to that doesn’t deserve forgiveness, kindness, grace, and most of all love. Maybe its my fat ass mouth hes scared of. Maybe he truly hates the human i am. Maybe it IS easier to not have me around....but imagine treating your child like FAMILY is everything..work hard. play hard. and hold on tight because life is wild...all just to ignore them for the rest of their lives. Thats why i get so heated when he decides to just check on all my social media accounts. that coward cant even call or text me??? his ego is so big he truly thinks thats okay? he cant let me have a space where i can be myself and not have to worry about that ass hole reading every god damn word i say? if you hate me LEAVE ME BE. its actually not that hard. he has very much have shown me that. I DO call eveyone my relatives now because those people arent my family. granted some of them i have personally pushed away, but i dont feel bad about that. they chose to be who they are and i’m choosing to TRY to be better then what i was taught. They havent ever been MY family. they are my fathers family and they can very much keep it that way!! Lmfao, a coward AT BEST. i miss the man he was when i was a little girl. THAT man was a man of honor, love, and tough as nails. the person he is...now?...A soulless coward is what he is now. 

Soulless. Coward. 

Maybe he was always like that, maybe people will hate me for calling him that, but i can assure you hes said much worse things about me. Imagine loving to bash your own children to people that wouldnt be at your funeral. Imagine being at a dinner or a family gathering and then deciding to just try to convince everyone around you that your children are a mess and YOU had zero to do with it. Hes just embarrasing at this point. I cant imagine how that man sleeps at night, i dont understand how he looks at himself in the mirror and thinks ‘Wow chris you did great today’.

Maybe he was always this human, maybe I never truly saw him until i started to see the world more. I’m not sure. I hope that's not the case, i really dont. He was my hero, my world, he was the reason i didn't hate myself or life for so long. I really loved that man more then I could ever express. I thought we would be going to concerts, making family meals, and gossiping about women for the rest of my life. I always thought hed be in my apartment judging my things and fixing up anything i couldnt myself. I always thought wed be sending eachother new music we were obsessed with and sneaking off to a good happy hour spot. I truly wish i could talk to my younger self and tell her that its all fake. Dont enjoy those moments. Stop asking him to go to concerts,beg to move in with one of your grandmas. NEVER pick up that bottle. Man how different my world would be now if i had been able to. I dont hate him, i feel sorry for him. because one day, just like my birth mother, he will be dead and will have to see all the wonderful moments he has had to miss out on. HE has MY most precious gift on the planet and he uses it as a TOOL to brag to strangers about how much of a saint he is. Imagine right. Lets all pray for this man. When i saw him last he gave me a crockpot full of candy and hugged me once. that year he got everyone really nice gifts but me..in his words to one of my relatives “If its not on the list, i wont get it” . that year he must of felt like he HAD to ‘make an appearance’ as he used to love to say about life things when i was a child. Imagine, hating your one and only daughter so much you throw her a crockpot and then leave and never answer your phone to her calls or texts again. Ill never understand why he thinks people should all be chasing HIM for the rest of their life and he doesn’t have to give any love in return but SHEEEESH what a toxic trait. I probably wouldn't be so angry, so hurt if it hadnt been for all the wonderful parents out there that constantly give their children grace. Mind you, my grandma is one of those parents. Hes in his 40s and still calls her at least 4 times a week I’ve been told. So you'd think he had learned from the best. Lets all laugh together. my little girl self will always miss him dearly, but the woman i’m becoming sees a very different human. Maybe hes not even human at all anymore. Just a hallow shell trying to survive another shitty day on this shitty planet. 

They call this the Devils playground, i think they just may be right.