#just posting this here separately!

[mariposiel]

STATUS: One-Shot | Posted on AO3! (Completed)

WC: 25,000+

GENRE/RATING: SFW — Teen And Up (Rated for swearing, and moments of peril)

PAIRING: Red Son/GN!Reader (Gender Neutral Pronouns - They/Them, Second Person Perspective, Use of Y/N), Strangers-to-Friends-to-Lovers

SUMMARY:

When you were hired by the infamous Red Son as his personal assistant, you expected to help him out with some administrative tasks, running errands here and there while he was busy doing whatever. But you hadn’t expected that you were going to form an unlikely bond with the demon, that you were going to learn surprising things about him, and that you were ultimately going to be the person he’d confide in upon encountering a significant problem.

And in spite of him being one of your most unconventional clients, you were going to fall for him along the way, little by little.

(This whole process also could’ve gone a lot smoother if only Red Son hadn’t tried to poorly disguise himself during your first interaction.)

(Which you easily saw through, but continuously failed to mention throughout the ones that followed.)

A/N: This narrative takes place between the ending of S1 and Spider Queen’s Revenge.

[yeah-thats-probably-it]

Hot take maybe but I think Bertie would be FAR more likely to survive the first two months of Dracula than Jeeves would be. Bertie has a healthy sense of self-preservation. Jeeves consistently underestimates how dangerous a situation might get (Steeple Bumpleigh, the club book) because he’s overconfident about his level of control over any given situation. He'd handle Dracula masterfully if they faced off in England, but on Dracula's home turf? Much more doubtful.

I realize this might be a tough sell, so I will explain further (or it's not a tough sell, and I'm going to explain further because I want to). (criteria taken from @canyourfavesurvivecastledracula) Without further ado.

Would Jeeves and Wooster survive Castle Dracula?

Jeeves

Jeeves' survival will depend on how long Dracula finds him more entertaining than irritating. On that basis, I don't think he's long for this world. On the one hand, he has a huge wealth of knowledge about English society and culture that he can recite perfectly from memory. That should buy him at least a little time with noted teaboo Dracula.

On the other hand, he would be absolutely no fun as a vampire plaything. Jeeves cannot be got. Sneaking up on him while he's shaving will yield zero reaction (though that's at least good for his short-term survival--given that, although he DID take the crucifix from the old woman out of politeness, he certainly isn't going to wear it. The rules of fashion don't go out the window just because you're in a spooky castle). Then, although managing the whims of rich jerks is not an insignificant part of a valet's job, Jeeves usually does this by bending his employers to his will. Dracula is not the sort of employer this will work on. It'll just add insult to injury when on top of being impossible to scare, NOW Jeeves is telling Dracula that his favorite cloak is several centuries out of fashion and he's not allowed to wear it anymore.

Jeeves will 100% go exploring in the areas he was told not to go-- though to be fair, he MIGHT actually get away with this, what with his superpower of appearing in rooms without being seen or heard. Said superpower might save him from the brides as well (though this is by no means guaranteed). Since I find it doubtful that Dracula would come to rescue his annoying ass, not being noticed is his best defense.

There are a couple other things working in Jeeves's favor; the question is just whether they'll be enough to save him.

He DOES know shorthand, and could try to send coded letters. He might even have the foresight to squirrel away some extra stationary where Dracula can't find it. But could he get them posted? Would it even do him any good?

He certainly has enough cultural literacy to figure out what his new boss is pretty quickly. If he didn't chuck the crucifix out the carriage window, he might start carrying it around in his pocket.

Psychology of the individual, sure, but the individual in question is a 400-year-old vampire who lives in an isolated castle in a foreign country and is regarded as a terrifying mythological figure in the surrounding villages. Jeeves has never come up against anything this alien before, he's cut off from his normal resources, and opportunities to play people against each other are limited.

He probably has enough upper body strength from all that shrimping and fishing to climb the wall, so he COULD escape if he wanted to, if he survived long enough. It's just, again, that overconfidence, and also Dracula has a vast library full of rare old books that are entirely at his disposal. He's keeping his eyes and ears alert for potential escape strategies, of course, but I don't see him being as desperate to get out as Jonathan was.

There are just a lot of "depends on"s here, and I'm not convinced that luck would shake out in Jeeves's favor, all things considered.

Bertie

Bertie is so perfect for the job of Castle Dracula Prisoner it's like it was made for him. Think about it. Being held against his will in big manor houses comes more naturally to him than breathing. He's afraid of things that are scary. A lifetime of dealing with Aunt Agatha has made him the world's preeminent expert in "curl[ing] up in a ball in the hope that a meek subservience [will] enable [him] to get off lightly." He will NEVER go exploring in places he's been warned away from if nobody is forcing him to (Rev. Aubrey Upjohn's office notwithstanding. There were biscuits in there). He's both fun to talk to and easy to toy with (and extremely English). A+ prisoner. Dracula adores him.

In my opinion, Bertie is at Castle Dracula either because Aunt Agatha got some wires seriously crossed and thinks he’s going to meet an eligible potential bride (I mean, there are certainly brides there), or because Dracula has something Aunt Dahlia wants him to steal (far less likely, given that one of Dracula’s THINGS is famously not owning anything silver). Either way, he's shown himself entirely willing and able to escape down drainpipes if a sitch gets too scaly.

He DOES take the crucifix, and DOES wear it (which is what will save him during the shaving scene, because you KNOW he's going to jump a foot and cut himself like the dickens). He's read enough supernatural goosefleshers to be genre savvy about terrified old women cryptically pushing crucifixes into one's hands. I also think his sunny disposish endeared him to the villagers, and they were particularly vehement about urging him not to go. He doesn't speak German or Romanian, but he's empathetic enough to recognize Pure Terror. So by the time he actually gets to the castle, his imagination is already running wild and he's plenty aware that he is in imminent danger.

I think the biggest risk to Bertie will be the brides; whether or not he's susceptible to trances, if he thinks they're trying to marry him, it's against the code of the Woosters to turn them down. But that only becomes an issue if he comes face to face with them, which, luckily, I think is unlikely on account of the aforementioned "won't go exploring" (and if he did, Dracula would definitely rescue him).

I'm inclined to say due to his drainpipe-escape habits that he WOULD be able to climb the wall and MAY attempt to sneak into Dracula's room to look for the keys if his desperation grows to outweigh his fear. Whether he does or not, though, he does NOT have the stomach to attempt shovel murder, and therefore won't get magic brain fever, and may very well simply walk out the front doors when the people come to take the boxes away. OR he climbs his way out like Jonathan did. Either way.

When Bertie tells this story at the Drones later, Tuppy will say that no doubt it's been greatly exaggerated and all that probably happened was that he spent a couple months in an oldish house entertaining a weird loner.

[juniemunie]

[Abandoned by the Lightners, his heart became cracked with hatred.]

Hitting a lil' too close to home?

[deimosatellite]

[kendyroy]

Deadpool & Wolverine looking at each other

(Part 3/3)

[sualne]

posting some op art i hadn't posted, there's a Lot more.

[tangledinink]

a healthy, productive conversation between siblings.

✩ the gemini ✩ [ start ] [ prev ] [ next ]

[twicetheheartx2]

"Alright put your greasy tits away, you preening slut." -Deadpool

Given that that's an actual quote from the movie, this is basically canon.

[do-you-know-this-queer-character]

Do you know this queer character?

Dax is Queer and Genderfluid and uses varying pronouns based on presentation!

[canon-gabriel-quotes]

Transcript:

In my catgirl era, prrp! Nuzzles you~ *purring*

Transcript:

Cats are God's purest creatures. Truly the embodiment of all that is holy in creation.

Why, sometimes, I put on these ears and pretend to be one.

*meowing mrrping etc*

*licks you*

By the way did I mention that, like a cat, I have a sandpaper tongue?

*licks you harder*

Transcript:

Oh, you thought your day was just fine and now I'm here to fuck it up.

You're gonna go- you're gonna have some catnip?

You're gonna go- you're gonna go have some milk? You have your milkies? You want your milkies?

Huh, nya? Meow?

*meowing*

This isn't even all of the cat clips I have. He's insane.

You want your catnip clip

Cats are gods purest creatures clip

Licks you owO

Nuzzles you Owo

In my catgirl era clip

[thatswhatsushesaid]

psa that the day there are no jgy stans left on tumblr dot com is the day i am dead

but rest assured i'll go to my grave exactly as i lived: obnoxiously proclaiming to everyone within earshot how great lianfang-zun is. narratively, metaphorically, spiritually. sexually, too, like why limit myself. i like to keep my options open

[sunlit-mess]

noticing in your vents—

is your sister okay too?

We laugh, sure, but we both know we're not ok.

[clamsjams]

pls consider reblogging for a larger sample size

[front-facing-pokemon]

greetings, everygamer! it’s not often you see a text post from me with no asks attached to it, so what gives?

@front-facing-pokemon (this blog) is rapidly approaching its end! you may have noticed if you’re paying attention to the remaining pokémon in the pokédex, but we’ve only got like TEN DAYS before we reach the END of the pokédex and i have nothing left to post on this blog. yesterday, i queued up the FINAL pokémon in the national pokédex, and have thus RUN OUT of pokémon to queue up!

so what happens now? well, that’s up for you to decide! this is That One Post where you can drop all your suggestions as to what should happen to this blog once we reach the end of the national pokédex! i’ve already heard things such as redoing the whole pokédex but this time it’s shiny (top contender right now!), back-facing pokémon, and turning this into a poll blog, so those are already in the running! if you have any other ideas (that are pokémon-related, please—and if they stick to the theme of the blog [like shinydex], that’s even better)

once i get enough suggestions and filter through for the ones that i like or that are viable, i’ll make one final poll that will decide the fate of this blog. (personally, i think the shinydex is in the lead for me) until then, enjoy the remaining posts, and thanks for stickin' around for this bumpy ride!

and finally, because plenty of folks have asked, and i’ve kept it a secret for this long, i feel you all deserve to know!:

my main blog is @kinogassa. that’s breloom’s japanese name! subject to change, and i rarely use that blog to be QUITE honest with you. buuut, if enough of you still care, then maybe i will!

a lot of you who cared already managed to sniff it out back before i could comment on posts from sideblogs, so shoutouts to you guys! for everyone else, i hope it was worth the wait(?)

i think i’ve also gotten a few other suggestions like taking requests on specific angles or whatever but that changes the flow of the blog to being request-based as opposed to queue-based ’n i dunno how i feel about that

by the way, massive shoutouts to the pokémon models ripping project, without which this entire blog would not have been possible!

i can't think of anything else to say (for now), but i'll be more active and responsive in the coming days as we try to figure out where all of this is going. see you tomorrow for whatever comes next!

[castles-in-the-eyre]

been thinking about casual affection

[hayaku14]

kaito buying every ticket to every soccer game available just to see that excited look on shinichi's face