#just stop the comparisons of who has it worse and focus on HELPING EACH OTHER when we say we are suffering

[genderkoolaid]

transmascs you know you are allowed to talk about your experiences without adding "but of course transfems have it worse!" right. that is oppression olympics you are playing. you can just say "this is a thing i struggle with because of transphobia" and leave it at that. i promise you there is a transfem out there who would look at your situation and go "oh my god thats awful, i've never experienced anything like that" and there is a transmasc who would look at your situation and go "yeah i've gone through that and much, much worse", because neither transmascs nor transfems are a monolith and neither one is privileged over the other.

free yourself of the need to constantly downplay your suffering from oppression. you are suffering and you deserve not to be, that's the end of the sentence. stop playing the sick game of comparing suffering, whether you are favoring yourself or not.

[howlingday]

Have you ever feel that Jaune got to much focus? I mean he's called a main charater (for better or worse) in a show called RWBY. About Team RWBY. It's just looking at both sides as much as I like Jaune maybe their was or still is to much focus on him.

Hardly.

Tell me something. Did Sasuke get too much focus in a show called Naruto? Did Knuckles get too much attention in the show Sonic X? What about Harry Potter? One Punch Man? Hey Arnold?

The Jaune "getting too much focus because the show is called RWBY" is the saddest, weakest excuse ever uttered. Jaune is a main character, along with Ren and Nora, who, need I remind you all, got plenty of love and attention despite not being "Team RWBY"?

Now, does the FNDM give him too much attention? My second favorite tag on this hiellsite is "jaune arc," AFTER "rwby," agrees with this statement, and to be honest, I don't think that's a problem with the show's writing as much as it is with the audience's reception of him.

There being "too much focus" on Jaune is only in comparison to the weaker writing for the "main characters" because the show puts more effort into the action and the plot than into the development of the core cast of Ruby, Weiss, Blake, and Yang.

Ruby has silver eyes and is supposed to be the hero who saves the world, but it wasn't until Volume 9 that she really got a solid win for her character.

Weiss comes back home in Volume 7 and her biggest character moment is when she's stopping her father's escape. Then... nothing.

Blake and Yang are by far the worst because their characters are now wholly reliant on each other. And before that, Yang's character was reliant on Ruby while Blake's character relied on the White Fang plot, which ended in Volume 5, and Adam, who died in Volume 6.

But what about Jaune's character? Well, let's see; Jaune was the loser everyman character who acted as the foil to the prodigal child of destiny that was Ruby Rose. His partner, Pyrrha "Invincible Girl" Nikos, takes him under her wing and trains him as her mentor. She then dies, leaving him to train and grow on his own despite his team being there, whereas Ruby loses her entire team and gets their help to accomplish reaching Mistral.

...Typing this out, yeah, I would say Jaune got more thought and effort put into his story and character development, but I don't think it's "too much". If anything, I'd say the issue is RWBY didn't get enough. All we got for them were flashy moves and kicks and bruises, but it's all shallow, surface-level development. Looking back, I see RWBY as the same people as they were at Beacon, while Jaune has completely changed since his initial appearance.

And again, that's not Jaune getting too much attention. It's just RWBY never really grew up right.

[fromriches-tosin]

okay so whenever i see a reijean post, it’s mostly about jean helping reiner with trauma because ofc yeah but also we need to talk about reiner helping jean aswell specifically this:

so something i think that generally gets ignored both in fanon and canon is that jean and the other scouts are child soldiers aswell as the warriors. like obviously they weren’t as young as the warriors but jean was like 15-16?? when graduation happened so he must’ve been max 13 or so when joining. still far too young to be a solider. and because it’s in jeans nature, he’d obviously only focus on reiners trauma and put reiners experience first and then one day reiner’s like “jean you realize you were a child solider too” and jean just being like “???”. then it leads to reiner helping jean come to terms with it and coming to terms with the fact that he also was robbed at least partly of a childhood he deserved. and they both help each other heal because they love each yay.

sorry about the rambling

What personally annoys me the most is the fandom's tendency to reduce Jean's trauma to Marco's death. It's always "ah, he's sad because of Marco, he's broken because of Marco, he never makes peace with his death" – no. In Jean's case Marco's death is only the tip of the iceberg. It's what launches the avalanche of pain Jean gets buried under. That's why I'm always saying Marco's influence is both a blessing and a curse for Jean – a blessing because it makes him grow as a person. A curse because it pushes him into hell itself.

Jean is surrounded by death. He keeps losing his friends, comrades he considers family; he sees them eaten alive, sees hundreds of them obliterated by powers beyond their understanding. He loses Sasha and Hange – both of whom he cares about deeply. He is forced to walk on corpses, to make decisions no one else wants to make and to bid farewell to his humanity – something he cherishes the most.

He has to start killing and to come to terms with the fact that his lofty idea of living up to Marco's expectations was simply bullshit. Because just like the people responsible for Marco's death, he also turned into a murderer for the sake of "greater good". Some may argue that his sins are nothing in comparison to what the Warriors did, but they would be missing a very important point here: for Jean, every human life is precious. That's why he looks so heartbroken because of Floch. That's why it's so hard for him to let go of Eren. It's even difficult to judge what is worse for Jean: landing the first killing blow or realizing that he had spent years protecting a friend who eventually turned into a monster for his sake.

I love how differently Jean reacts to Sasha and Hange's respective deaths. When Sasha gets shot, he's clearly in shock, but remains collected enough to spare the child responsible for her demise. He's composed enough to be able to do his job until the very end – even though Sasha is bleeding out at his feet. When Hange dies, he breaks down and cries immediately. Perhaps he has reached some kind of limit (there must be a limit to how much a person can take, right?), perhaps he's thinking that he should have been the one to stay behind. It couldn't have been Mikasa, Levi or any of the Shifters, but why sacrifice the commander? As a squad leader, Jean might feel it was his job to make sure the others escape. His turn to die.

Jean is usually a very loud person, but he prefers to suffer in silence. It's much easier to address Reiner's pain because it's just so obvious – he tries to take his own life, he breaks down and can't stop talking about the terrible things he has done, he's a shadow of his former self. Jean appears more mentally stable, more in control of what he shows to the others. He keeps covering his ears when he's overwhelmed, keeps running away or hiding in the darkness when he can't take it anymore, but when he interacts with other people – he's composed again. It's only his eyes that show what he's going through.

In my fics I try to put some emphasis on Jean's trauma. In BE he is struggling with the aftermath of the Rumbling (and Reiner comforts him), in FSWL he's faced with the concept of being a child soldier and forced to kill someone he tried so hard to save. There's also that one little scene in NLMG which I like – when Reiner kills the brigands, Jean stops Gabi from even looking at the corpses. Jean recognizes the fact that children, any children, even trained Warriors, shouldn't see such things – the things he himself has been surrounded by for years.

And that's the thing when it comes to writing stories from Jean's POV – the thing you mentioned – he doesn't really pay that much attention to his own suffering. He puts others first. So, his trauma is somewhere there, lurking in the background, overshadowed by "more important" things, but we should definitely acknowledge it more often. And have Reiner comfort him. :3

[messedupfan]

I'm With You | 10

Summary: Things get awkward between Natasha and Y/n. Wanda gets upset with Y/n. And Steve finally gets a moment alone with his friend.

A/N: I never know what I'm doing with this story. I had a completely different idea when it came to Y/n finding out about Nat and Maria. Then it took a mind of it's own lmao. Enjoy!

Masterlist | All Chapters | Taglist

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Coming back from the date with Natasha wasn't what Y/n thought it was going to be. She didn't know what she wanted out of the date but she was utterly disappointed. They couldn't really hold a decent conversation with each other. At least not the kind of engaging ones that she has with Wanda. Something that Y/n caught on quickly to was the comparison of the two women. She knows it isn't fair so she did her best to focus on the person she has chosen. 

When they got back to the Avengers tower, the two felt awkward and made excuses to go their separate ways. Natasha was hoping that the two could be physically intimate again. That seems to be the only time she can really connect with the young Stark. But after failing at the emotional intimacy, Natasha felt it would be wrong to try and continue to take advantage of her girlfriend before establishing a relationship beyond the physical. As for Y/n, she was itching to get to spend time with the person she was quickly coming to terms that she should be with instead. So she made the excuse that she needed to finish working on her suit. 

Y/n makes it look like she is heading to the design lab but once she's certain Natasha isn't watching her anymore, she heads to Wanda’s room. She knocks on the door a few times before Wanda answers. Y/n is dressed up nicer than she has seen before and it tells her what Y/n has been up to. Feeling jealousy and hurt she tries to shut the door on Y/n. 

The girl stops it with her foot and steps into the room, swiftly shutting the door behind her. “Don't you want to know how my date went?” With her back still turned on Y/n, Wanda sits on her bed and ignores the question. 

It was difficult to ignore her feelings and to have to listen to her talk about her relationship. Earlier when Y/n asked her to help with the procedure and helped her discover and control an ability, she felt so close to her. Y/n's soft voice as she talked her through the trial runs made her feel safe and confident. Things she hadn't felt in some time. She wanted to be held by Y/n or worse, she wanted to be rewarded with a kiss. When the two did hug, she didn't want to let go after completely fearing having lost her and was relieved when Y/n held on just as tight. This was beginning to be too much for her.

Sensing that Wanda is giving her the silent treatment, Y/n fills the conversation on her own. “Sure Y/n, I want to hear all about it,” she pretends to be Wanda. “Why thank you, bestie,” Y/n replies to herself and all Wanda wants her to do is leave. She doesn't want to hear about some amazing date. She wants to be part of one. “I have a confession to make. It was an awful date,” this catches her attention and she slowly looks over her shoulder. “Well, not the date itself, moreso that I couldn't enjoy myself because I kept having this nagging feeling that I was with the wrong person.” Y/n waits for a verbal response but all they get is a curious but guarded look from Wanda. “Who is the right person then?” Y/n makes the terrible impression again, needless to say, her Sokovian accent could use some work. “That's a very good question. I might be crossing a line in saying this but I believe the right person may or may not be you. I'm leaning towards may. I don't know, just a feeling. What do you think?”

Wanda scoffs and shakes her head. What could have possibly changed that made Y/n want her now? The whole reason for the rejection last night was because she was fighting for a happy and stable relationship with Natasha. She couldn't trust that Y/n would want her for her now. Nowhere in that little bit of her's did the woman mention a break up. For all she knew, Y/n craved drama and all of the emotional pain that came with it. “I think that you are unbelievable and should get out of my room.” With a flick of her wrist, she opens her bedroom door. The command happens easily with the emotional charge it didn't have earlier.

“But I-”

“Go,” she stands her ground. She wasn't going to be strung along. She refused to have her emotions played with. “If you have any respect for me at all, Y/n, you won't treat me the same way Nat treated you when you were honest about your feelings. So please, just leave me alone until you figure yourself and your relationship out.”

Y/n was feeling argument after argument build up inside of her but she swallows her words. Wanda was right. She couldn't do to her what Natasha had done to Y/n. Not only was it not fair, that was a brutal experience to live through. It was not something she would wish on her worst enemy. Shame fills her body and drops her head. “You're right, I am so sorry, Wanda.” Y/n leaves the room and Wanda shuts the door with a wave of her hand so she can cry in peace. 

Y/n does end up in the lab after all. The best way for her to process her thoughts and feelings was to do so as she worked on something. By the start of the next day, she's almost completely done with the suit and has made zero progress on what she wants for herself. 

Steve had passed her working every few hours throughout the night and when the sun began to rise, he decided to invite Y/n on a run. Hoping it can be something beneficial for the seemingly stressed Avenger. He knocks on the glass door to announce his presence as he walks into the room. “Hey, I noticed that something might be on your mind,” he starts. “Want to talk about it?”

Y/n looks up from the computer that she was putting her final touches on the programming with. “What makes you think I need to talk?” She frowns in confusion. She thought she was masking her emotions pretty well. 

“Just a hunch,” Steve shrugs. “Is it Nat?” He watches Y/n closely and when she clears her throat and blinks away tears, he knows that's exactly what the problem is. “Look, I know things are tough right now but I think you two can work past the whole Hill thing. I think it was just sex, I doubt it was anything serious between-”

“Stop talking,” Y/n says in shock. “I don't want to know what you're going on about. But my problems with Natasha are private. I don't think she'd like me discussing anything with you. So please, just, let it go.” She doesn't want him to elaborate on this “sex with Hill” thing. She didn't need to know the details, especially not from him. “Was there something you needed?”

Flustered, he was afraid he might’ve said something he shouldn’t have. He completely forgot what he walked in for. “I-I uh, I was about to go on a run and came to invite you.” 

Y/n looks at her program and figures she can put the project on hold. “Sure, I missed our runs while I was… away.” She clenches her jaw and pushes the memories away. “I bet I can totally kick your ass in a race now.” She jumps from her seat. Steve laughs as he lets her know that’s highly unlikely. “I don’t know, have you seen how fast Pietro is? I mean, that power came from this stone.”

Steve shakes his head as he follows Y/n out of the lab. She stops by her room to remove her date clothes and dress in something that she can exercise in. When she's ready to go, her and Steve walk and talk on their way to Central Park. The topic never lands on Natasha, your relationship, or the confusing feelings you’re harboring for Wanda. It’s playful banter and catching up between two friends. When they reach the park the two friends agree on the start and end points before they begin running. Y/n was determined to finally beat the Captain in a foot race. She was putting a lot of hope into the stone. 

“1… 2… 3!” Steve shouts the countdown and bolts after three. Y/n follows and starts to lose faith in the stone as she falls behind by a long shot until she feels herself pick up speed. She gets closer to Steve and once he notices, he pushes himself harder to be faster. 

Y/n continues to catch up every time until she finally passes Steve. The man out of time falls behind considerably as he cannot run any faster than her already was. As Y/n continues to pick up speed, she crosses their chosen finish line three times before Steve can cross it once. When he finally does, he collapses to the ground, breathless for the first time in a very long time. “I told you, I’m fast now,” she brags as she offers a hand to pull him up. 

Steve can admit when he’s been beat. He smiles, “Yeah, I can’t say I’m not jealous. That was a hell of a run. Come on, let's get back to HQ.” Y/n laughs as she remembers the days she would be training with him when they were part of S.H.I.E.L.D. He wouldn’t let her leave the area until she completed the same amount of laps he had. But she doesn’t really care to enforce his own rules onto him at the moment.  

The walk home is a discussion on what they think might be possible for Y/n’s abilities. She was enjoying having the monitor on the stone because she feels better having questions and a conversation without the stone answering or finishing them for her. 

When they arrive back to the common area of the tower, Natasha greets Y/n with a hug and a kiss on the cheek. “Where’d you go? I brought you breakfast in the lab but you weren’t there.”

“I was kicking Cap’s ass in a race,” she says proudly. 

Steve laughs but he can’t look Natasha in the eye as he fears the damage he potentially has done in regards to her relationship with Y/n. “Yeah, kid is fast. Hey, I uh, have something to work on. I’ll see you two lovely ladies later.” He compliments them as he escapes the conversation. Although Y/n was all smiles, he was still concerned that she would bring something up while he was within Natasha’s killing range. 

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there for your breakfast. I know how hard it was for me every time I wanted to surprise you with breakfast in bed and you wouldn’t be there,” Y/n meant to say that in a comforting way but her words were anything but that. 

Natasha feels the sting of regret from her words. “I’m sorry I must’ve made you feel terrible for so long.” 

Y/n nods, “I won’t lie. I cried myself to sleep a few nights over you.” 

“Gosh, Y/n, are you just saying this stuff to hurt me?” Natasha walks away and Y/n follows her to a more private space. 

“No, I’m just being honest with you. That’s what we need here if we have even a chance of working in a committed relationship,” she defends. “You need to know the things that I kept from you in the past and I need to know what you kept from me. That's how we build a strong foundation.”

“Oh what do you know? You're a child!” Natasha regrets her words as soon as they leave her mouth. 

Y/n clenches her jaw, trying to hide the hurt she was feeling. “If I'm a child then you're a pedophile,” she retorts and Natasha scoffs without making an apology. “I don't appreciate you insulting my age when all I'm trying to do is have a mature conversation with you.”

“Oh, and implying that I haven't been honest with you is what you call mature?”

“Nat, I'm not implying or accusing you of anything! I straight up just said that I wasn't being honest with you and I want to be! Why are you so upset that I want to be honest with you?” Y/n's volume raises as her frustration follows. 

“Because I don't want to hear any of it! I already know I was shitty back then. I don't need the details when we can just move on! Why can't we start fresh? Why can't we go back to the way we were in Italy? We were so happy.” Natasha argues back, doubling down so she doesn't have to tell Y/n about the sexual relationship she shared with Maria.

“I don't think we can start fresh,” Y/n states stubbornly. “Not without clearing the air. Besides, I don't want to start over. I don't want to go back to the way things were. I want to grow from what we had. I thought you wanted better for us. Not to repeat the same mistakes.” She can’t believe that this is upsetting her until she remembers her earlier conversation with Steve. “Is this about Maria?” 

Natasha easily hides her emotional response. “What does she have anything to do with this?”

“I know that you slept with her. I don’t know when or how many times, but I know it happened.” Y/n states, making Natasha nervous that she can’t lie her way out of this. “I want to hear it from you, I don’t want to find out the information from the stone or from anyone else. I want you to be honest with me.” 

Natasha licks her lips and weighs her options before she sighs. “Maria and I…” she considers her words for a moment. “It’s just sex and friendship between us. We started long before you and I met and I was with her whenever I wasn’t with you.” It hurts Y/n to hear this and she almost regrets pushing Natasha to tell her all of this. “I didn’t stop sleeping with her until we found you.” She omits the time they slept together the other night to avoid hurting the girl more. “There! Happy now?” Natasha says defensively. 

“I need to…” Y/n looks everywhere but at her girlfriend as she tries to form a full sentence. “I can't be near you right now,” she admits in a whisper.

“I don't know why you're so upset, we weren't exclusive. It's not like you weren't with other people back then too.” 

“I wasn't,” Y/n grits through her teeth. 

“Well you could have been,” Natasha fires back. 

“I didn't want to be and I didn't think you did either,” Y/n defends. 

“Clearly we don't know each other as well as we thought,” Natasha's statement causes Y/n to swallow thickly. Here she was beating herself up over a relationship that was meant to fail from the beginning. 

“Do you even like me?” Y/n finds herself asking.

“I love you,” the words come out easily because she means them. She did love Y/n. She's never felt the way she does towards anyone but her. She was never drawn to someone so intensely. 

“And this is how you love someone?” Y/n walks away before she can say more things she'll regret.

Chapter 11

Taglist: @thatvillain@doudouneverte@chaisreading

[12234step]

We all know that comparing ourselves to others is detrimental to our well-being. It’s easy to get caught up in comparing our lives, our achievements, our material belongings and ultimately our success to the successes of others. Everyone is completely different and it’s important to remember that comparison can lead to feelings of inadequacy, dissatisfaction and unhappiness.

So how can we stop ourselves from comparing ourselves to others?

It’s important to focus on your own strengths and achievements rather than what others have done. Pay attention to your own progress and goals and focus your energy on building yourself up rather than comparing yourself to those around you.

Stop comparing your journey with someone else’s. Everyone has a different beginning, different goals, different motivations and different life circumstances which will affect the results they get. It’s not a competition and comparisons only serve to make you feel worse about your own progress and achievements.

Make conscious efforts to notice what you have rather than what you don’t have. Pay attention to the positive aspects of your life and appreciate the things you have achieved. Think of what sets you apart from others and focus on those aspects.

Remind yourself that the people you are comparing yourself to don’t exist in a bubble and their lives come with their own set of issues, problems and worries. Just because someone outwardly looks successful, it doesn’t mean their life is free from all struggles. No one is perfect, so try not to put people on a pedestal and compare yourself to an unrealistic standard.

Create achievable and measurable goals for yourself and create an action plan for how you’re going to reach them. Make sure each goal is something achievable that will bring out the best in you. Celebrate each small success and take pride in the journey.

Surround yourself with positive people who will build you up rather than those who will drag you down. Spend time with people who share similar goals and support other’s success and their journey.

If comparison starts to creep in, practice some mindfulness techniques such as deep breathing or meditation. Keeping yourself mindful and focused helps keep your thoughts away from comparison.

Comparing ourselves to others only serves to make us feel worse about ourselves, but we can take steps to stop it in its tracks. Remember that everyone is on their own journey, with their own unique set of circumstances, experiences and passions which will directly affect the results they get. Focus on building yourself up, celebrating your successes and appreciate what you have achieved.

[shig-a-shig-ah]

LAYING CLAIM

» pairing: dabi x fem!reader

» cw: dubcon, revoked consent, noncon (we’re going on a journey, okay?), rimming, anal fingering, anal sex, crying, gratuitously fanon characterization. 18+, minors DNI.

» a/n: Started this months and months ago, and since I’m finally getting around to wrapping some WIPs, I guess you can have it now. Thanks @thebiggergroove​ for beta-reading!

» wc: 5.3k

» ao3 mirror

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The thing about Dabi is he's not usually a possessive guy. Fucking is fucking, as far as he's concerned—it doesn't really matter who is doing it with whom as long as everyone is getting off on it. But goddamn if there isn't something about you that makes him want to make you his.

And he's gotten that, more or less. It took some sweet talking and cajoling, and a few late nights where he made you come until you couldn't see straight, but you agreed not to go sleeping with anyone else. Sure, you've made him promise the same, but that's fine. Not that he's going to actually stop, of course, but he goes out on recruiting missions alone and he figures what you don't know won't hurt you.

That's all enough to satisfy him, at least for a little while. But then a few weeks pass and there it is again: that stupid jealousy and all those unbidden thoughts about the people you were with before him. People he knows. You never talk in too much detail about your past hookups, but he's not stupid, is all too aware that he's not the first one in this ragged band of miscreants that you've crawled into bed with. You've fucked Jin, and Shigaraki, and probably even Magne, god rest her soul—Dabi hadn't missed the way the two of you had huddled up giggling in the corner of the old bar one night, disappearing together unusually early, making those bedroom eyes at each other. And in theory that's fine. Nothing wrong with two girls having fun together, after all. Hell, bi chicks are hot and Dabi wouldn't mind taking advantage of that someday.

But first he needs to find a way to get the image of you with your legs spread for half the League out of his goddamn head.

If he's being honest, it's Shigaraki who bothers him the most. Magne is dead. Jin is a decent dude and, Dabi has to imagine, tame as a kitten in the sack. But Shigaraki, well...Dabi can tell just by looking at the guy that he's a freak, and the idea of you riding Shigaraki's dry, crusty dick, of letting him do who-knows-what filthy shit to you? It just gets to him.

And then Toga has to suggest that stupid game and go putting ideas in his head.

You're all sitting around the crumbling office space that passes for a hideout, drinking to celebrate the League's first successful double-amputation (because fuck that germophobic, transphobic prick), and blondie is just begging to play a drinking game. Normally Dabi doesn't go for that shit—why anyone needs an excuse to get wasted is beyond him—but he's in a good mood, and you make that adorable pouty face as you tell him that you played in college, that it's really fun, and somehow he finds himself sitting in a circle on the dusty floor with the rest of you losers playing 'I haven't' or whatever the fuck it's called.

It's all bland shit to start. Toga's never driven a car, Shigaraki's never gone to school. But, after you've made your way around the circle once, everyone seems to be loosening up and Spinner takes one for the team by getting to the interesting shit and admitting he's never slept with a girl. It spurs a moment of awkward silence made all the worse by his red face and obvious self-consciousness about being a virgin, but then Compress stage-whispers "Neither have I," before winking salaciously at the blushing lizard and taking a dramatic pull from his beer bottle. It's enough to lighten the mood.

After that, Dabi's forced to admit it's a decent game. There's not much he hasn't done sexually or criminally, and since those are the two topics everyone focuses on, he finds himself getting hammered faster than usual. It's a good thing too—his buzz makes it easier to ignore the look you and Shigaraki exchange when Jin announces that he's never tried watersports, easier to pretend his gut isn't twisting at the knowing smirk on your leader's face as he raises his beer bottle to drink and you follow suit.

That particular moment makes it all the more surprising when, on your next turn, you hide an embarrassed face behind your hand and announce that you've never taken it in the ass.

Dabi can't stop thinking about it the rest of the night. Obsessing over it, and the idea of being your first, your only, even if only in some less than conventional way. The thing is, it's downright tame in comparison to a lot of what you two get up to, so barely even kinky that it's almost impossible to believe you've never tried it. Sure, you've never done it together, but he'd just figured neither of you were all that into it, since it hadn't come up when you were doing lewd shit to each other.

That kind of sex is fine from his perspective, but only fine. He doesn't actively seek it out because in his mind nothing beats the feel of being balls-deep in a warm pussy, but that doesn't mean he hasn't done it. He's hooked up with plenty of girls that were into it and has always been happy to oblige; hell, he's even taken it more than once, on account of the fact that when it comes to the bedroom he's willing to try anything twice.

But doing it with you? Well, that thought sticks. The two of you finally go to bed and Dabi's so turned on by the idea of your virgin ass that he can't help testing the waters, prodding teasingly at that tight hole with one spit-slicked finger until you're squirming away and whining. He doesn't manage to convince you right then, but he makes those puppy dog eyes that are far more effective than they have any right to be, and you agree to give it a go in the future.

"Not here," you specify, the words fuzzy on your drunken tongue. "Someplace nicer, with a real bed." You already have your reservations, and you certainly don't relish the idea of undertaking that particular venture now, on a worn mattress in this falling apart building, with its paper-thin walls and complete lack of hot water. Between your booze-fueled haze and the seeming interminability of the League's poverty, you mostly forget about that casual promise by the following morning.

But Dabi doesn't. He picks up a small bottle of lube the next day and carries it around in his pocket shamelessly, a little reminder that he has something to look forward to besides roasting that prick Endeavor, and he strokes himself off to the idea more than he's proud to admit as he waits for the League to move on to better things. He can be patient, when he needs to be.

That patience takes a toll though, and the minute the League settles into their new digs in Re-Destro's sprawling villa, where there's actually privacy and clean, comfortable beds, Dabi shows up at your door with a cheshire grin and every intention of finally getting something from you that's just for him.

You grimace when you remember that promise, try briefly to talk him out of it even, but he isn't so easily dissuaded. It's made all the harder by the fact that you can't give him a specific reason why you've never tried it, beyond that it seems uncomfortable and you hadn't particularly enjoyed the couple instances when you'd allowed someone to slip a finger or two in there.

"C'mon, baby girl," Dabi coos, his breath hot in your ear as he pins you to the wall, working two unnaturally warm fingers into your cunt. "I'll make sure it's good for you. Be gentle, get you nice and warmed up first, all that sweet shit."

It really is unfair how persuasive he can be when he fixes those pleading turquoise eyes on you. The way the pads of his fingers are curling just right deep inside isn't helping either, and he teases you like that until you give in to his cajoling, though you still insist on waiting a couple nights so that you can do your research and make sure you're entirely prepared. Dabi demonstrates his appreciation by burying his face in your cunt and not surfacing for air until you've come three times and are begging for a break.

When the night finally arrives, Dabi's feeling positively giddy. He slips into your bedroom with a bottle of wine and a couple glasses he's brought, a little something to help you relax because he's a gentleman when he wants to be. It should be good booze too—he lifted it from Re-Destro's private stash, and he's certain baldy doesn't drink anything that costs less than ¥30,000. Of course, Re-Destro doesn't love sharing either, but the uptight prick is too scared of Shigaraki to complain about anything the League does. They all take advantage of that, because they can and because it's fun to watch him bite his tongue when they piss him off.

You don't make it easy for Dabi to focus on pouring the drinks though, not when you're reclining in that armchair by the window, freshly showered and fidgeting nervously. He was half-erect before he got here from just thinking about what he was going to do to you, and the sight of you acting like you're some blushing virgin spurs him all the way to rock-hard. By the time your glasses are close to empty, he's straining uncomfortably in his pants, and can't fight back his impatience any longer.

"What do you think, doll?" he murmurs, setting his glass to the side and standing up, shrugging his jacket off before leaning down to ghost his lips over your neck. "You ready to move this to the bed?"

The way you chew at your lower lip anxiously before nodding makes his dick throb.

You empty your glass with one final, large swallow, your heart racing as you rise. You know it's stupid—you and Dabi have fucked countless times and a lot of it hasn't exactly been vanilla—but it's been a long time since you've actually tried anything new. His obvious excitement doesn't help either, paradoxically; it leaves you fretting about what will happen if you're somehow bad at this, or if you can't take it and have to stop. You've never really worried about disappointing him before, but now the thought weighs acutely on your mind.

It's with halting steps that you approach the bed and then, when you can't realistically drag your feet any longer, you finally tug the nightgown you're wearing off your shoulders, letting it fall to the floor to reveal what's underneath.

"Damn, baby girl," Dabi breathes, looking you up and down. You'd figured that since it was a special occasion you might as well dress up, donning a strappy bra and panties. They're little more than elaborate, crisscrossing pieces of lace, all white since he'd seemed so fixated on this pseudo-innocent, first-time act. His reaction doesn't disappoint, eyes lighting up as he stares at you hungrily.

You let yourself fall back on the bed, nestling against the many pillows. The look on his face has your stomach fluttering, and the wine has helped you to relax a bit despite your nerves, a pleasant warmth spreading throughout your body. It's joined by a different kind of heat when you feel the mattress dip beneath Dabi's weight as he positions himself over you, one knee resting between your thighs, just barely brushing against your center, a hint of what's to come.

"You look so good I could just eat you up," Dabi whispers hotly against your ear before tracing his lips over your jaw. Even though he wants to take his time, let himself savor this, it's taking every ounce of patience he has to keep the promise he made to get you worked up and ready for him, to not to tear those pretty bits of satin and lace off and have his way with you right then.

You whine eagerly when his mouth slants hungrily over yours, savoring the feel of those mismatched lips, the way the rough skin of the bottom one contrasts so deliciously with the top. Hot hands run over your sides as the kiss deepens, your tongues tangling together, and you moan against him.

When you finally break for air, Dabi moves his lips to your throat, his tongue lapping at your pulse before he sinks his teeth into you. He loves to mark you up, loves making sure everyone can see that you're indisputably his, and it's even hotter now that he knows he's going to fuck you in a way no one else has. You're shivering beneath him as he works, your hand tugging insistently at his hair, and Dabi lets out a low, throaty growl.

"Guess I'm not the only one who's eager, huh?"

Your hips tilt in response, pressing needily into his firm thigh, and Dabi can feel the skin on his cheeks straining against his staples as he grins. He traces one hand up over your ribs, cupping at your supple breasts, teasing your hardening nipple through the flimsy fabric of your bra. Those deft fingers work under the seam of your lingerie as he shifts his weight, increasing the pressure against your center while he pinches and tugs at the peaks of your breasts until you're whimpering, spreading slick along his leg even through your thin panties.

Dabi pulls away abruptly, rolling onto his back and tugging at you to change positions, shaking his head when you move to mount his hips.

"Come here, baby girl," he says, his tongue tracing over his bottom lip. "Like I said, I wanna eat you up."

The promise in those words sends a bolt of heat straight through your core as he guides you to straddle his face, hot breath tickling your inner thighs. One calloused thumb brushes your clit lightly through your underwear, blue eyes sparkling when your breath hitches at that soft touch. When he pulls that useless fabric to the side and runs his tongue over your already-damp slit, you shudder.

Dabi lets out a pleased groan at your reaction and gets to work more earnestly, lapping at your sensitive nub, licking and sucking until you're moaning and only then shifting a little so that he can lap at your insides, that same rough thumb replacing the pressure of his tongue on your clit. It strokes firm circles as he buries that hot, wet muscle inside you, the metal barbell there teasing your inner walls as you grind involuntarily against it. You can't help but whine when he withdraws it, but that disappointment is quickly replaced by you startling as that same wet muscle extends further back to tease at your puckered entrance.

"A-ah, Dabi, wait," you protest, your face heating up self-consciously almost at once.

Dabi pauses, shifting just enough to keep his reply from being muffled as one warm hand runs reassuringly up your thigh. "I don't think I can help myself, doll," he says, his slick-coated lips splitting into a wide grin, "you just taste too good."

That heat in your face worsens as he dives back in, not even waiting for you to respond before he's flexing his tongue to poke at that tight ring of muscle. You still try to squirm away, feeling unprepared for this. You hadn't even considered it among the possible activities were volunteering to participate in, but Dabi is holding you firmly in place with the hand not working at your clit, and when another whine of protest escapes you, it's weaker than the first. The foreign sensation of his tongue against your neglected hole has you hyperaware of the press of his thumb at your apex, and you can feel tension building in your core even as you writhe in embarrassment.

It's as though he knows, too, and you suppose maybe he does; after all, he's the one who's done this before. He thrusts his tongue a little deeper, rolling your clit between two hot fingers with enough pressure to cut off any further protests. A long moan is the only sound you can muster as you spill over the edge, your thighs clenching around his head and your hips jerking shakily as you ride out your climax with his tongue still buried obscenely in your rear.

Dabi's face is covered in your juices by the time he slides from between your thighs, and he wipes it away carelessly with one arm as he repositions you again, pinning you on your back and wasting no time peeling away your now-soaked panties. He grins at the sight of your glistening folds and swollen clit before stripping off most of his own clothes, kicking them unceremoniously to the side and relaxing between your legs, kissing at your still-trembling thighs.

He teases at your sensitive cunt with his fingers, coating them in your juices as you whimper. "Ready for a little more?" he asks, and you nod despite the fact that your cheeks are still burning from before and your stomach is knotting with nerves.

"Just...go slow, okay?"

"Of course, baby girl," he promises, "I told you I'd take good care of you." With that, he starts to work you open, dipping one finger into your tight hole just until he reaches the first knuckle, working it in and out slowly. His other hand toys at your clit, stroking and rolling that puffy nub again, making you mewl.

Dabi waits until you're relaxed before trying any more, pulling away from you just long enough to dig the lube from the pocket of his discarded pants, coating his fingers with it. He works that lone finger deeper this time, in and out until it's buried to the last knuckle.

The sensation is strange, but not entirely unpleasant; even if you think you'd rather have that finger curling in your cunt, the slight stretch is still adding to the faint throb already growing inside you, the one that worsens when his thumb returns to your apex.

"Fuck, you're so tight," Dabi growls when one well-placed stroke of his thumb has you clenching lightly around his finger. He ruts his hips against the sheets, trying vainly to find some relief for his aching member, but it's not enough—he needs to feel you, needs the vice-like grip clutching his fingers to be wrapped around his cock, and he needs it soon.

You feel him withdraw to add more lube, and then he's fingering you again, adding another digit to stretch you wider. It comes with a stab of discomfort when he forces his way past the second knuckle, and you reflexively try to pull back. "Dabi, that's too much."

He abandons his soothing attentions to your clit, one warm palm pressing you tight against the mattress to keep you in place, stroking soothingly at your hip. His breath tickles over your inner thigh as he chuckles softly. "If you can't take this, how are you ever gonna take me, hmm?" he says teasingly. "You're doing great, baby, just relax."

You will yourself to unclench, trying to picture Dabi's satisfied face once you're taking him, that adoring look he sometimes gives you, the one that you relish. Your efforts are only marginally effective, but Dabi keeps pushing deeper, fucking you slowly but insistently with those fingers, and when you don't complain again, his thumb returns to caressing your sex.

"That's a good girl." Dabi picks up the pace, cursing under his breath. "You're doing so good."

You're wriggling against his hand now, trying to increase the friction at your center, not quite minding the foreign sensation of his fingers and the uncanny fullness they bring so much now that there's heat thrumming in your core. "Y-yeah, like that," you pant encouragingly, and Dabi grins.

"That doing it for you?" he purrs. "Think you can take more?"

You start to shake your head—the stretch now feels like all you can handle—but Dabi's already adding a third slick finger, shoving it in with less restraint than before. You feel more than discomfort this time when three knuckles breach your asshole, and it quickly dampens the arousal that had been steadily building. "Dabi, slow down," you gasp.

"Aw, are you sure you can't handle it?" His blue eyes meet yours, pupils blown wide with arousal as he looks you over with the hungry gaze. "'Cause if I'm being honest, it feels like you're trying to suck me in. Like this greedy little hole wants to get fucked."

The huskiness of his voice sends a shiver down your spine, even as another whine of discomfort escapes you. For just a second his expression darkens slightly, but then he's slowing his movements, twisting his fingers instead of thrusting them in and out.

"Better?" he asks, and you think you catch an edge of impatience in his voice.

It is better though, a little at least, enough that you can focus on the way your cunt flutters every time his thumb strokes over your clit. So you just nod; it's not like this wasn't bound to be a little unpleasant at points, right?

Dabi's smile stretches wider, his thumb working faster. A mewl slips from between your lips and Dabi takes that as encouragement, his fingers resuming their persistent thrusts. It's still uncomfortable, though not quite as bad as when he started, and your teeth sink into your lower lip to bite back your complaints. You let your eyes fall closed instead, trying to focus on his attentions to your hooded nub, on the heat that's pooling in your lower belly. You're inching towards another release, and you let a hand lift to your breast, tweaking at the pebbled flesh of one nipple to help yourself along.

"D-dabi, I'm close," you stammer, your hips bucking against his hand.

"Yeah?" His movements speed up, his voice breathy and excited. "Do it, baby girl. Come for me and then I'm gonna fuck this tight little ass of yours."

You swallow hard, trying not to dwell on those words for now—you can tell you've loosened up more, tolerating the jab of his fingers, but his cock is substantially larger than those, all too intimidating. Thankfully, it's not hard to remain distracted, to focus only on your approaching peak.

Dabi can feel that orgasm rip through you when it hits, your asshole clenching around his fingers as you keen, and it's then that he reaches the limits of his patience. He needs you now, needs the thrill of burying himself in your tight ass and claiming you for his own, of reaching his own release deep inside and then watching his seed spill out afterwards. What a satisfying sight that will be.

He scrambles up from between your legs to catch your lips with his, fumbling his boxers off as his tongue invades your mouth. When he pulls away, his eyes are bright, needy. "Ready for me?" he asks.

You're not, not really, but you can see the fervor in his eyes, hear the urgency in his voice, and you convince yourself that he won't be able to work you open much more with his fingers no matter what. Your agreement doesn't matter anyway—he's already rolling you onto your side and slotting his chest against your back, his straining erection poking at the cleft between your thighs.

"Like this?" you ask, surprised by the choice of position.

"Just like this," he pants in your ear. His teeth nibble at your lobe as he slicks his cock generously with lube. "Want you spooned against me so I can see those cute faces you make, feel you squirming when you take me."

And fuck, when he slips one hand back down to finger your asshole one last time, it doesn't disappoint—your body ripples against him when that invasion catches you off guard, and he can see the way your lips part obscenely as you gasp at his touch. His fingers abandon your tight hole almost as quickly as they'd entered, and then Dabi is aligning himself with your entrance, using the last of his restraint not to slam his hips forward and bury himself inside with a single thrust.

You can feel the spongy head of his glans, and the slick coolness of the ring that adorns his tip, prodding at your rear. One of his arms worms its way under your side, his hand groping distractedly at your breasts as you tense in anticipation.

"Relax, baby girl," he murmurs, but he doesn't wait for you to even try. He's already slipping in, moving slowly until he encounters resistance an inch or so inside, and then pausing.

He has to struggle to keep his composure. Even like this, with not even the full head of his cock in your ass, his balls are tightening, just the thought of what he's doing nearly enough to send him over the brink. He waits until he's sure that won't happen and then starts moving, pushing insistently to work you open around his length with shallow thrusts.

"A-ah, Dabi, g-go easy," you stutter, already squirming. You can feel your body resisting the intrusion, so much larger than his fingers, and it aches slightly every time he tries to breach that inner ring.

"I am, baby, don't worry. I'll take care of you." His cheek is nuzzling against yours, his lips kissing and sucking wherever he can reach, but his motions don't change at all even as he murmurs so sweetly. He only slings one arm over your hips, toying lazily at your clit. That attention helps you relax, helps distract you a little, but it's not enough to prepare you for when he drives himself in further, finally surging past that taut band of muscle.

The invasion brings a sharp pain, one that has you crying out. Tears prick at the corners of your eyes, your body reflexively contorting to try and escape the cause of that hurt, but his arms tighten around you, holding you in place as he continues to work himself deeper with every thrust.

"Dabi, that hurts." Your words are sharper this time as each stroke sends another unpleasant throb through your overstretched hole, but his only response is to plunge the fingers rubbing at your clit into your dripping cunt.

"Shh, you're doing great." He curls his fingers, stroking against that spongy spot deep inside. It makes you writhe, but that does nothing to address the pain between your legs as he fucks you.

"Dabi, don't, that's not helping, I—"

"It's okay, baby girl, you're taking me so well," Dabi coos. You'll adjust, he knows you will—you're usually up for anything, of course you can take this. And fuck, there's no way he can stop now, not when it's even better than he'd imagined—hotter and softer, your pillowy walls enveloping his length every time he plunges into you, the exquisite tightness of your entrance massaging his shaft with each thrust.

"I'm not— I don't— I don't want to do this anymore." You can hear the desperate edge in your voice now. Your heart is racing and there's a cold sweat forming on your skin as tears of pain and confusion start to leak down your cheeks. "Dabi, stop."

"Shh, shh, you're fine. You—fuck—you feel so amazing. 'S never been this good with anyone else, fuck."

"I don't care, I don't want this." You can't understand what's happening, why he's not listening. You twist your head to look at him, pleading with your eyes, but he's barely even focusing on you. His blue eyes are glazed and half-lidded as his lips wander over your shoulders and your neck, all the while murmuring those useless reassurances against your skin. You're thrashing now, your feet scrambling for purchase on the sheets as you try frantically to pull away, but he keeps his tight grip on you, one of his legs hooking around your own to hold you in place. "Dabi, I said stop!"

He shushes you again, rutting into you harshly, and a choked sob escapes you when he bottoms out inside you, his hips flush against your backside as you struggle against him. You feel sick to your stomach, and it only worsens when he pulls out until nothing but his tip remains, then drives himself back in with one agonizingly rough thrust.

You keep begging, pleading, wracking your brain and trying every past safe word you can recall, but he only continues to pound into you, his breathing erratic as he pants in your ear. "It's okay, baby. You're taking my cock like such a good girl. You're—ngh—making me feel so good."

The ache between your legs is diminishing slightly as you adjust to his girth, your body entirely unconcerned with whether you want that or not. He's still fingering your sopping cunt too, his palm grinding against your oversensitive clit with each plunge of his long digits, the lewd squelching sound of those attentions mingling with the sharp slap of his hips against your ass as he fucks you.

"You like this?" he asks, but you know he's not really asking. "You like knowing I'm the only one? That I'm making you mine, just mine, just like how it should be?"

"Dabi, stop. Please stop." Your appeals are feeble now, far more for yourself than for him as you continue to utter them between quiet sobs. Dabi's somewhere far away, awash in the tight heat of your ass and the satisfaction of finally staking his claim on you, aware of your supplications but not hearing them, not really.

You slump, still sobbing, and let him take what he wants. His attentions to your cunt have a coil tightening in your gut, but when your climax hits it's perfunctory and mechanical, no real pleasure to be found even as your hips jerk and your holes spasm, a joyless whine passing from your lips.

No real pleasure for you, at least. But fuck, the feel of you squeezing around his cock as you come is what Dabi has been waiting for, your insides massaging his length as though desperate for him to decorate your walls with his cum. It's a gift he's glad to grant—he rocks his hips more urgently, keeping his thrusts shallow now so that he's sure to get it all deep inside.

"Fuck," he groans against your neck. "Gonna make me come, baby girl. That what you want? Want me to fill you up?" You shake your head, but his movements are already growing spurtive and erratic, his grunts louder and throatier, and then you can feel his cock jerking inside you, a hot rush of cum flooding your guts.

Dabi doesn't stop then, either, keeps fucking his seed into you until he's softening, not quite able to work himself in and out of your tight, abused hole any longer, and only then does he finally pull out, a dribble of cum leaking obscenely down your thigh.

You're sniffling, drawing shaky breaths, and you try to pull away the moment his arms relax around you. They only tighten again, his lips planting soft kisses along your temple.

"Shh," he murmurs. The sound of his shushing makes you want to scream. One hand lifts to wipe at the tears on your cheeks. "You were so good, baby girl, there's no need to cry. You were fucking incredible." He means it too, doesn't think he's ever come so hard in his life as he did now, making you his.

Dabi can't wait to do it again.

[the-insomniac-emporium]

Slumbering Hearts (Alcina Dimitrescu/Reader, Soulmate AU) Pt. 2

Fandom: Resident Evil: Village Rating: T for language Warnings: None Summary: In a wicked twist of fate, you find out your soulmate is none other than your employer, Lady Dimitrescu. To your misery, she (at first) seems equally displeased, her heart already belonging to another. But in time, the two of you find yourselves wondering… could the universe be right, after all? Soulmate AU in which every person has a unique “soul mark”, which they share with their soulmate. Notes: Reader gets a bit of a backstory here, with just enough concrete details to serve the plot in future chapters. Hopefully enough is kept vague for people to enjoy it. Now... Time to meet your new kids-in-law/the gremlins :) Previous Chapters: 1: In The Shadow Of Giants

2: Uncertain Destinations

“You already know my name, as well as my fate, and I have neither threats nor demands to make of you. I am at your mercy, regrettably, with nothing more to say. Shall we consider ourselves ‘introduced’? Or is there more you wish to ask of me?” You wonder, eying ‘Alcina’ with a bored expression. It felt odd to refer to her that way, even within the confines of your mind. She had been ‘Lady Dimitrescu’ for as long as you could remember; starting with your years in the village, and continuing through your months here at the castle. One day, perhaps, you would grow used to calling her by her first name. For now, you simply hoped to focus on other matters.

“Tell me of yourself, your past. Who were you before you came here?” Alcina asks, surprising you. What did it matter, now that you were stuck here? At first you shrug, avoiding eye contact, not wanting to open yourself up to her. But before long she’s placed a hand on your shoulder, applying just enough pressure to encourage you to speak. You win this round, you think.

“Somehow I doubt you’ll find it terribly interesting. I was born in the outskirts of the village, on a small farm, just like any other. I had a pet dog, went to ‘school’ with my neighbors, and spent my weekends volunteering with the church. The only thing you might not expect is that I lived outside the village for about a decade. Traveled for a while, never really staying anywhere for terribly long. Eventually, I got tired, and so I came back to help my parents with what little property they had left,” you explain, quietly. Being vague had been intentional, considering the nature of a few details. Did she need to know why you had left? Or that you had once revered Mother Miranda?... No, because if she learned that, it would not be long before she learned that you had changed your mind years ago. Something told you that she wouldn’t appreciate your lack of faith in her mistress. “That was six months ago, roughly. Barely got to spend time with my parents before I was ‘donated’ to the staff here.”

“Not many ever leave the village. Those that do rarely, if ever, return. How particular,” Alcina replies, giving a soft hum. There’s something in her expression that tells you she’ll eventually ask you to elaborate. For now, however, she seems content to move on. Internally you sigh in relief. “I suppose this is sufficient to sate my curiosity, for the time being. Now come with me, I’d like to introduce you to my daughters, to ensure that they understand you are… off limits.” With that said she stands, once more reminding you just how small and fragile you are in comparison, before heading towards the exit. You’re nearly forced to jog in order to keep up with her long strides. As she leads you through hallways, down a flight of stairs, and past several nervous looking maidens, she slows down the slightest bit, having eventually noticed your struggle. Admittedly, that’s more kindness than you would have anticipated. Perhaps she was used to adjusting her pace for her daughters?

Whatever the reason, you do appreciate it. Still, by the time you arrive at your destination, the castle’s library, your legs are feeling the smallest bit sore. Brushing off the ache, you follow Alcina inside. Then you’re taking in the sights, having not been here before, admiring the impressive collection. Glad I’m not responsible for cleaning this place, you think as you pass by dozens of filled shelves. Before long you encounter the three daughters. They’re sitting in a semi-circle, each with their own book, though they’re quick to sit up once they spy their mother. One by one they’re smiling up at her, not even sparing you a moment’s glance. Admittedly you’re glad for that. What good could come from their attention, especially when they don’t yet know who you ‘truly’ are?

“I’m glad to see you’re all in one place, my darlings. There has been a… development, of sorts,” Alcina says, speaking in the same tone one might use to address a faculty meeting. In a less intimidating household, it would have been much harder to hold in a laugh. Was this always how she spoke to her children? For their sake, you hoped not (though the concept was amusing). Regardless, it is at this point that the daughters notice you, with one of them looking intrigued enough to send a shiver down your spine. You’re pretty sure her name is Daniela, being the only one you haven’t met before today. A toothy grin spreads on her lips, and once you make eye contact you swear that she winks at you. This literally could not be any worse, you think, unable to stop yourself from frowning.

“Does it have to do with this little thing?” Daniela purrs, taking a step towards you. Instantly both Alcina and yourself are tensing up. While your soulmate shifts in front of you, an incredibly faint rosy tint to her cheeks, all you can do is pinch the bridge of your nose between two fingers.

“This ‘little thing’ is not your newest playtoy, Daniela. Rather, they are my-” she hesitates, disliking the way the word feels in her mouth- “soulmate. I expect the three of you to behave, understood? At the very most, you are allowed to prevent them from leaving the premises, but even then I expect you to remain gentle. Have I made myself clear?” Alcina asks. Now she’s not the only one blushing, as Daniela looks so embarrassed that you wonder if she’ll pass out. Maybe now you’ll think twice about flirting with everyone you meet, you think, remembering the various rumors you’ve heard about her. For a moment, part of you imagines what your relationship with her would look like, were you to continue ‘courting’ her mother. Could this be a moment you could torment her with for life? Get some cheeky revenge for all the maidens who couldn’t risk it? A lovely thought, though one soon interrupted.

“Of course, mother. We will not lay a single finger on them, unless we have no other choice. Right, sisters?” Bela replies, turning to her siblings with an expectant look. Neither of them seem terribly pleased, but they nod, each giving their own verbal affirmations. All three spend a few moments glancing you over, reevaluating you now that they know who you are, appraising your worth. It’s not hard to imagine that they all find you lacking- at least in comparison to their mother. “Are introductions in order? We’ve met before, but I hardly know anything about them. It would be… nice to properly meet the newest edition to our family.” The way Bela says the words makes you nervous, and the way Cassandra grins only worsens the feeling.

“If you desire such, I see no reason to forgo such a thing. Perhaps the three of you could give them a tour? I must return to my duties, and I doubt they have seen much of the castle, given their… former occupation,” Alcina admits, softly. Was this a confirmation that you’d no longer have to spend every day working yourself to the bone? On one hand you were somewhat relieved, but you also regretted the possible loss of your preferred coping method. Worse, were you really going to spend who knows how long with the dreaded Dimitrescu daughters? They were going to rip you to shreds, at least verbally, you were sure of it. How could you ever meet their expectations? If they were anything like their mother, you would never be enough to satisfy them. Or at least that is what you assumed.

“I’ve seen a fair bit,” you interject, awkwardly, hating the way it brings everyone’s gaze back to you. Alcina’s lips twitch, as she fights back a frown. Evidently she didn’t appreciate you countering her suggestion.

“Please, we insist,” Bela fires back, a pleasant tone covering her thinly-veiled animosity. “I’m sure we’ll have a wonderful time getting to know each other. You do want to learn more about your soulmate’s children, don’t you?” Something about the way she speaks makes you want to laugh. When you smile back at her, it’s without a hint of any placating intentions, rather a dewdrop of mischief. Bold of her to assume that you wanted to make her mother happy. After all, it was clear from her phrasing that this was a ‘test’, a ruse to ‘reveal your true colors’ to Alcina. But you were as uneasy about your part in this as Bela was, neither of you finding yourself a suitable match for Alcina. Despite the way she narrows her eyes at you, her mother is smiling again, glad that she had a way to keep you occupied for the time being.

“It’s settled then,” she says, moving to give each of her daughters a kiss on top of their heads. They giggle at the affection, looking rather proud of themselves. Then she turns to you, hesitating, clearly having the instinct to give you a kiss as well. Half of you wants to stand on your tippy-toes, expectantly, wondering if she’d do it (and how flustered it would make her). Instead, you pretend not to notice, accepting the awkward shoulder pat she ends up giving you. “I will see you this evening, for dinner. Do try to enjoy yourself. But don’t forget-” she leans in until her mouth is right next to your ear, breath tickling your neck- “behave yourself. I will not tolerate any tomfoolery, understood?” Alcina does not pull away until you’ve nodded, and you do not relax until the library door has shut behind her.

Except now you’re alone with her daughters. Wonderful.

---------------------------

Dealing with finances was not, to put it simply, Alcina’s ‘favorite’ activity. Although she employed someone to handle the majority of the paperwork, she made sure to go over it herself to ensure accuracy. There were many aspects to her business, being both legitimate and illegitimate, technically. One could never be too careful about their records. After all, failing to file tax returns had taken down Al Capone, of all people. Who was to say that such a mistake, or one in a similar vein, could not damage House Dimitrescu? Certainly it wouldn’t be enough to ruin them entirely, but it could lead to certain ‘nuisances’ bothering the village. At the end of the day, Alcina cared more about the impact it would have on Mother Miranda than anything else, even the possible decline of her household.

A nasty habit, really. Few knew the extent of her self-entitled devotion to the cult leader. The only bond that ran deeper was that she had with her daughters, who meant more to her than she could ever vocalize. Even then, she viewed them as a gift from Miranda, which in turn strengthened her love for the woman. Now that love leaked into everything she did. With a flourish of her pen, she signed away some of this month’s earnings. So what if she already ‘donated’ a large portion of her income to the village and its leader? Certainly this was a way to show the level of her devotion? Certainly Miranda would take notice, eventually? Praise her for it? Take Alcina’s hand in her own, thumb caressing her skin, eyes filled with a long-sought affection?...

The sound of passing footsteps brings her back into the moment, and Alcina stares down at the mountain of paperwork she’d yet to approve. With a deep sigh she readjusts her reading glasses, sets the finished document aside, then gets back to work. A part of her mind soon starts to drift to other subjects. To you, primarily. Would your affection be easier to gain? Steadier?... But could it, in any way, compare to Miranda’s? No matter how she tries to brush the thoughts away, they nip at her heels, circling her head like vultures. Only time would give her the relief she so desperately sought.

---------------------------

“So, don’t tell me you really think you’re my mother’s soulmate, right?” Cassandra says, somewhat grumbling, as you trail behind Bela. It’s less than five minutes into the tour, with the siblings having behaved so far, focused on actually showing you around. At her words, both her sisters started walking slower. Their gazes were still locked ahead of themselves. The way they positioned themselves, however, made it clear that they were listening. “Is it some elaborate scheme, hmm? Did you spend a dozen hours with the other servants, noting every last detail about her soul mark, before copying it? Do you really think that you’ll get away with this?” Well, ‘twas good to know who the most paranoid of the three were.

“Ah, yes, it’s all a great, horrible ruse. You’ve caught me red-handed, I’m afraid,” you chime, sarcastically. A hand goes to your forehead as you fake faintness. “I’m just so desperate to be scrutinized by yourself and your mother, to have my every movement watched, to somehow be less free than I already was. I simply… cannot… believe… that you saw through my bluff.” With that you give a dramatic sigh, pausing in the hallway to give Cassandra a judgemental look. If not for Alcina’s instructions to keep you safe, you’re certain she would have beheaded you on the spot. “I’m not claiming to understand the universe’s decision. But I’m also not giving up immediately, no matter how much the three of you scare me.” At that, Bela stops in her tracks, slowly turning to you. Instinctively you go to take a step backwards, only for Cassandra to catch you, holding you in place. Next thing you know, the oldest daughter is grabbing your head, staring you right in the eyes.

“Answer one question, and maybe I’ll make sure you don’t fall victim to some tragic, unfortunate accident. Can you see yourself loving my mother?” Bela asks, more intense than you’ve ever seen her before. Despite that, you don’t tremble, swallowing your fear long enough to reply.

“Honestly? I don’t know. She’s terrifying… and beautiful. Cruel to some of the maidens I’ve met… and loving to you three. I… I don’t know if I can love her,” you admit, gulping. “But isn’t that part of the point of trying? To find out? I am going to try, for both my sake and hers, to love her. To cherish her. What more would you ask of me? I cannot tell you how the days to come will go, whether or not your mother will enjoy them, or even whether she could love me. This is not a situation you can threaten into resolving the way you want it to. So let me go, finish the tour, and give me a chance. You owe your mother that much, do you not?” Soon enough the hands keeping you in place loosen their grip, and Bela turns away with a scoff. Honestly, you can hardly believe that your little speech worked. You aren’t given much time to celebrate, however, as the sisters quickly resume their walking. Before long, Daniela is speaking up between giggles.

“I like this one already.”

[harrywritingsbyme]

please write a whole smut with bestfriend's dad!harry

Such A Tease

Based Off Of This Ask

And This One

A/N: I’m sorry it’s a bit late again! But your wishes are my command. This is the first official installment of my new ‘Sneaking Around’ series. The structure of this is just like ‘A Series Of Firsts’, series of ‘random’ blurbs that are all connected. This one will have a little bit more interconnection though. Anyways, it’s a filthyy introduction to some characters🤪...Enjoy🙃

You were never one to sneak around. Nor were you one to be into older men. At least, that was the case until you met Harry. You knew that you shouldn’t have been lusting a man that was substantially older than you, let alone a man who was the father of your best friend. It’s just that neither you nor Harry could help yourselves. 

You and Christine were both in your second year of college when you two met and became instant friends. It didn’t take long for you two to become really close and rock solid in your friendship. Once midterms rolled around, the two of you two were inseparable. And the fact that the two of you were from the same place, and lived there all the way up until you both left for college (which wasn’t that far away) solidified the friendship even more. The two of you even joked that the universe really wanted you guys to be friends. 

But after meeting Harry though, you were starting to think that the universe had other plans. 

She had invited you join her to have dinner at her dads. After knocking down the lame excuse of not wanting to intrude on their father daughter time, she was able to finally convince you to tag along with her. What was the harm in having dinner at her dads house? That was what ran through your mind as you said yes to her. You were expecting to have a nice dinner with her dad, and give him an introduction to the girl who’s been hanging around his daughter. That’s it and nothing more.

To be completely frank and honest, you were expecting to find a middle aged (or close to it) man, who was about average in looks and built, and nice. The only thing you got right was the middle aged and nice part. The rest was the complete opposite of your expectations. When the front door opened, you could’ve sworn that you were met with a god. He was the literal epitome of god loves some of us more than others. You couldn’t believe that he was dad. And even though he was your best friends father, his name followed up by the categorization of dilf was going down in your book. Let’s just say that from the moment you stepped foot into his home, you were salivating; and it wasn’t because of the food. As the time passed, you were paying attention to every word that left his mouth; and every muscle that he involuntarily flexed as he finished getting dinner ready. You even made sure to say little so that he could talk to you more. To make matters worse, Harry was one of the nicest and kindest human beings on the planet. Which meant that your thoughts ranged from him ravishing you to walking down an aisle with him at the end of it. You were a complete mess. 

While you were kicking yourself for lusting after your best friends dad (dilf), Harry was doing the same. Harry was kicking himself left and right for lusting after a young woman who was not only young enough to be his daughter, but who was in fact the best friend of his daughter, and therefore a woman he could never have. From the moment he opened the front door, Harry was gone. It was like you were the opposite end of the magnet that was pulling him towards you. Ever since he and Christines mother divorced years ago, Harry had dated and slept with a good (and very healthy) amount of women. In all of that time, he’d never felt the same feeling he got from simply looking at you. He’d gotten close to it a couple times, but he’d never experienced the jolts of electricity that were firing throughout his entire body and the swelling of his heart as he looked and talked to you at this capacity before.

These feelings weren’t the only feelings you and Harry had in common though. The both of you were also hoping and praying that Christine didn’t have to go to the bathroom and leave you two alone together. But that’s exactly what happened.

“M’gonna run upstairs to the bathroom real quick and you two can talk some more. Just no embarrassing stories from when I was a kid.” She announces as she excuses herself from the table, making sure to clearly direct the last part to her father, causing you to let out a small laugh that was filled with nervousness. You were not only nervous at the thought of being left alone with her father, you were nervous at the thought of being alone with the hottest and nicest man in the world; who just so happened to be your best friends dad. After Harry “surrenders” to her request, she leaves you both in the dining room and heads upstairs.

“I’ve seen the way you’ve been looking at me.” You whisper to him from across the table once you two are completely alone.

“And I’ve seen the way you’ve been looking at me.” Harry counters simply, dropping his fork and lifting his head to put the entirety of his attention onto you.

“Well you should stop.” You whisper back, looking up from your plate to find Harry’s piercing green eyes staring right back at you.

“And you should do the same.” Harry replies, as slight smirk rising up onto his face in the process; queuing the floodgates between your legs to burst wide open. What makes the gates fall off their hinges is when you feel his sock clad foot rub up against your ankle. Since Harry was a bit older than you, he could easily read into all of your reactions and body language, allowing him to know exactly what buttons to press and how to press them. “Do you mind helping me clear the table Y/n?” He asks abruptly, flipping the topic of conversation from your attraction to each other to the dishes so that you could cool off a bit. He could see how flustered you were by him in that moment so he wanted to give you a little break. 

“I don’t mind Mr. Styles.” You promptly whisper back to him. You were so grateful that the previous conversation was over. He then gives you a little nod and the both of you rise up from the table to collect the nearly empty plates and dishes before bringing them into the kitchen. The two of you then stack them on the counter by the sink before turning to go back into the dining room to collect the rest. Before you could take a good five steps, you’re being pulled back, turned around, and pinned against the kitchen counter. Harry has a hand on your waist and the other is softly nudging your chin up so that you could look at him. And before you know it, after looking into your eyes for confirmation, Harry is lowering his mouth down onto yours. This is what you both had been wanting all night long. You knew that from the outside, his lips were a pretty shade of pink (which is the same shade of pink that may or not paint the head of his cock; you were dying to find out) and they were pillow soft. That was the one of the few things you got right all night long. When his lips met yours, they were the softest and most inviting lips you’d ever felt in your entire life. And the way he was pressed up against you as he kissed you was the best. He was pressed tightly pressed against you and your hands were wound in his hair as your lips moved against each others. The thoughts of how wrong this was were blown out of your minds as soon as your lips touched. As you two continued to kiss, you and Harry began to subtly (not so subtly in actuality) rut against each other. Unfortunately, this doesn’t last long. Your kiss, movements, moans and touches were brought to an abrupt and quick halt when the both of you hear the footsteps leading down the stairs. The both of you quickly move into less compromising positions and focus in on gathering and washing the dishes. 

Once the dinner is finally over and it’s time for you and Christine to head back home, Harry gives her a big hug and kiss to the cheek and you a more friendly hug to (not be too obvious) and the two of you are on your way. As you two are heading back home, you reach into your coat pockets in search of your phone. As you’re feeling around, you stumble across a small piece of paper. When you pull it out, you try your best to look at it without turning on the light. The only things you can see are an H, a couple numbers, and a semicolon next to a single parenthesis to form a winking face. You were a little bit on the sad side (inside of course; Christine couldn’t find out about anything) because you weren’t leaving with Harry’s number. You already knew that you were going to break into Christines phone to get it, but you were hoping to get it from Harry himself. So knowing that he went out of his way to make sure you had it was really nice.

 And from that night on, the rest was history. 

You were constantly covering up bruises on your thighs and neck, and taking aspirin to numb the throbbing and sore feeling between your legs from the way Harry relentlessly (and deliciously) pounded his cock into you. You weren’t trying to hide your sex life from Christine. You wanted to share, and tell her about the amazing (if there was even a word to describe it) sex you were having but you couldn’t. And for reasons that were and are beyond understandable. The last thing you were going to tell your best friend is that you were getting dicked down by her father. Or that you were in love with him. That was a completely different story though. 

At first, the thought of getting caught terrified you. And only you. Harry was a little scared since his daughter was involved in the grand scheme of things, but his fear was nothing in comparison to yours. In fact, he instigated every situation that heightened the possibility of you two getting caught. One time, he tasked Christine with running to the grocery store to pick something he forgot. It took him less than 30 seconds after you two were completely alone for him to drop what he was doing and pull your pants down. It also took him less than 30 seconds to pull both of you guys’ pants up when he heard her car pulling up into the driveway. As the time went on though, you began to become more comfortable and willing to take risks here and there. You and Harry would always try to sneak some time in whenever you were visiting with Christine. And whenever you and Harry both had some alone or downtime, you’d drive to Harry’s on your own so that you two could spend some time together. Now even though the sex was beyond amazing, you guys’ relationship as a whole grew. The two of you were pretty much in a full fledged relationship (except for the disclosure part of course) and you both were very happy.

Fast forward about six months and everything was beyond perfect. You and Harry’s relationship was great and you two were in your own secret bubble of love and sex. And your best friend/ Harry’s daughter was completely oblivious to it all. Everything was perfect. You and Christine had just finished your sophomore year of college and the two of you were now spending time with your families. You’d been staying with your family for a little and she was doing the same with Harry. After about a week of not seeing each other  (you not seeing Christine…and you not seeing Harry) your felt that it was time for some quality time. And believe it or not, Harry and Christine were on the same page. You’d received two text messages, one from Harry and the other from Christine, begging you to come over. Hers had more of a ‘I miss my best friend vibe’ and Harry’s had more of a ‘I miss your pussy and cuddles’ vibe. So you figured that it was time to pay them both a little visit. Christine also mentioned that you should stay over for the weekend. So packed a little bag and you made sure to pack everything you’d need. Some tight and short clothes, no panties (well maybe just one pair since Harry liked ripping them off of you), two pairs of pajamas, and some toiletries. Once you were dressed and packed for the weekend, you hop into your car and you’re on your way to Harry’s home.

Once you arrive, you knock on the door and you’re immediately engulfed in an almost bone crushing hug from your best friend. After a good minuet, you’re finally released from her arms and able to breathe again. She pulls you into the house and as she does, you see Harry rounding the corner into the living room. As soon as you see him, you’re a mess all over again.

“Hey Mr. Styles.” You smile “innocently” to him, giving him a small wave to help your little act out a bit. 

“You know you can call me Harry right?” Harry replies with a smirk as he makes his way over to the couch. As he says this, all the times you were screaming his name (and daddy) as he pounded into you. It was so wrong, but it felt so good. He couldn’t wait until you two were able to get some alone time. 

“Me and my dad were just about to watch a movie and you’re gonna watch it with us.” She interjects, dragging you over to the free couch. 

“Is it the notebook again? Because if it is, then we may need to have an intervention.” You joke, dropping your bag onto the floor and plopping yourself down onto the couch. 

“Don’t blame me! He’s the one who got me hooked on it!” Christine replies, pointing her finger in Harry’s direction. 

“I would’ve never thought that you were into these types of movies.” You ponder, turning your head towards Harry as you kick your shoes off. That was a big fat lie. You knew that Harry was the sappiest man in the world. Whenever you guys weren’t running the risk of getting caught, after sex, the two of you would cuddle and watch a romcom or romance/drama movie. 

“What can I say? I like a good romance.” Harry shrugs, sending you a soft smile. He too was thinking back the romcoms and cuddles you two shared.

“Well lets get it started!” Christine interjects excitedly, pulling both you and Harry from your little moment, and grabbing the remote from the table. You pull the blanket from the back of the couch and throw it over the two of you while she starts the movie.

After about an hour, you were a little restless. You loved spending time with your best friend and you wanted to continue watching the movie with her, but you needed a little break. And the idea you had for this little break may or may not have included Harry. 

“I’m gonna take a little trip to the ladies room.” You whisper to Christine as you pull the blanket off of you. When you stand up from the couch, Harry’s eyes leave the tv screen as you walk away. Instead of going straight upstairs, you stand behind the couch you were just sitting on with Christine and you begin “phase one” of your little break.

Instead of just going upstairs and mouthing to him to come with you, you decide to tease him a bit. Get him worked up so that he’d be running to you. While his attention is still on you, you decide to just go for it and lift up your shirt, exposing your bare breasts to him. In an instant, Harry’s eyes widen and his cock stirs in his pants. He couldn’t believe what you were doing. He thought he was the one who was doing the absolute most to live on the edge, but what you were doing right now tied you both for the top spot of the wilder one in the relationship. He constantly makes sure that Christine’s eyes are clued to the tv screen and he’s not being too obvious when it came to being distracted while he took in your teasing. He watched as you squeezed your breasts and tweaked your nipples. You decided to do this for a minuet or two before lifting your skirt a little to give him a peek and ultimately tiptoeing upstairs. This left Harry’s cock completely hard, and his mind completely scrambled as he tried to figure out a plausible reason to step away. After about five minuets, he comes up with a good enough reason to step away and meet you. 

“Have t’make a phone call for work. I’ll be right upstairs.” He announces to Christine as he stands from his seat. 

“Alright. But can you tell Y/n to hurry up, she’s gonna miss the best parts.” She asks, diverting his attention 

“Maybe she’s handling something.” Harry replies, alluding to the possibility of you getting your period. All she does is shrug in response to him, prompting Harry to dash upstairs. As soon as he reaches the top of the stairs, he makes a b-line to the bathroom. Where you were waiting with your panties around your ankles. When he pushes the door open, he’s met with you standing at the counter looking into the mirror. Without saying a single word to you, Harry steps into the bathroom. He closes and locks the door before standing right behind you.

“What’s wrong daddy? Did I make you hard?” You ask sweetly, diverting your attention from your reflection to him.

“Did I say that you could speak?” Harry whispers calmly, lifting his foot to kick your legs apart. “You’re playing a very dangerous game. I’m leaning towards the thought that you want to get caught.” Harry continues, gripping onto your hips and yanking you back so that you fall against the counter and your backside is closer to him.

“Maybe.” You hum, moving your hips a little in his grasp.

“Oh really?” Harry questions, flipping up the bottom of your skirt. “Well now’s the perfect time to see if you want to get caught little girl.” Harry continues on, sending a sharp swat to your ass to make sure that you know who’s in control of this situation. “You could either lay there and moan, whimper, and cry like you do when were all by ourselves, or you could lay there and take it quietly like the good girl you’re supposed to be.” Harry offers, removing a hand from one of your hips shoving down his sweatpants and boxers down all at once. “Your choice.” He whispers finally before lining his cock up with your sopping wet entrance and slowly pushing into you. “Such a tight little hole f’me.” Harry moans as he continues to push into you.

 “So big.” You whisper as you feel his cock stretching and filling you. It felt so good to have him inside you again. Once he’s fully inside and you can feel him in the pit of your stomach. He doesn’t give you much time to adjust to his size before slightly pulling out of you, just to slam back in. He then continuously slams into you over and over again, grunting and moaning lowly behind you. His cock was constantly pushing at the deepest part of you. He was going so hard that you could feel his balls slapping against your clit over and over again.

“This what you wanted babygirl? Wanted me t’fuck you hard while your best friend is downstairs waiting for you?” He pants, continuing to fuck into you. He missed being inside you. He missed the feeling of your spongy, warm, and wet walls around his cock as he gave you everything he had. And he couldn’t wait to spend the entirety of the following week with you. He’d be able to be inside of you 24/7. That’s where he always wanted to be. 

“Oh my-“ you gasp, feeling his cock dig into your sweet spot. His cock was so good. That was all you could say. The way he masterfully maneuvered his cock in and out of you. He knew exactly how to move and slam into you and make you go numb. He was slamming into you so hard that you could guarantee that your thighs would be sore and bruised. But again, it felt so good. As he continues, Harry yanks you up, keeping the same hard and fast pace from slamming his cock into you.

“Look at yourself baby.” He whispers into your ear, pushing his hand up your tight shirt to cup your breasts in his hands. “A cock crazed little girl getting pounded by daddy. A pretty, moaning, and crying little mess.” Harry chuckles cynically, looking into the mirror to see your worn out yet pleasured face and your watery eyes. He can hear your moans as you get closer and closer to your release. He wraps his thumbs and forefingers around your perky nipples before bending you both down onto the counter. “Feel your walls squeezin’ me baby. Wanna cum for daddy?” Harry pants behind you, feeling his release nearing as well.

 “Please daddy.” You whimper. That was all you could say. Your release was coming at full speed and it wasn’t going to slow down. It was hot and tight in the pit of your stomach and you were going to explode.

“Cum with daddy baby.” He groans once more, sending one final, sharp and power filled thrust into you, pinning his cock right against your sweet spot.

 At that moment, the both of you let go. Your bottom lip was completely raw at this point, you were trying so hard to hold back your moans the entire time and it was getting harder and harder. It felt so good to cum around him, and to feel him cumming inside of you. You were more than welcoming to the warm and sticky cum painting your walls. As Harry came, he was on the verge of collapse. He was finally emptying himself into you. He let go of everything he had and it was like your walls were milking him for more from the way you were convulsing around him. You were pulsating as you came. 

Once you two are done, he pulls out of you and does his pants back up, leaving you slumped over on the counter. Before leaving, the plucks open the mirrored medicine cabinet in front of him and pulls out a bottle of aspirin. He sits it on the counter next to your limp body and just stands behind you to admire the sight. “Might wanna take one, don’t want you to be too sore. Wanna pound into you some more later on.” Harry says nonchalantly. He then brings his hand down to your exposed, sore, and a tiny bit swollen pussy to gather some of his sticky cum that was dripping out. “Might wanna put those panties back on too, don’t want any of m’cum leakin’ out. Want you to be nice and full of it once I empty more of it into you later sweetheart.” Harry continues before bringing his cum covered fingertip to his mouth. He then leans down to press a kiss to the exposed skin of your neck and unlocks the bathroom door to walk out, leaving you alone to try your best to put yourself back together. 

Masterlist

[dimonds456]

*sees your tags about being salty about suf spinel*

YOU CAN'T JUST SAY THAT AND NOT SHARE YOUR SALT /LH

Okay, but I'm warning you, you asked for it.

LONG POST WARNING.

LIKE A REALLY, REALLY LONG POST WARNING.

Dimonds456 Presents: How They Did My Baby Dirty: An SUTM and SUF Analysis on Steven and Spinel (Told by a Progressively More and More Angry Narrator)

THE CONTEXT: There was a post talking about how you think a character will fix everything, but then they wind up making it works. My tags were "#*looks at suf spinel* #I am still salty about that like the bitch I am fghdjskgfa"

Grab some water, guys.

Let's start by talking about Steven for a moment. In the original show, when we were following him as a 12-14-year-old, we watched as he built up trauma and then learned how to hide it expertly well, to the point that most of the audience didn't even realize he was struggling.

You can actually pinpoint the seconds he makes those decisions, too. The best example is in "The Test," when he's storming up to the gems. He's pissed. His fists are clenched, he's got that anime eye shadow overlay on his face, he's frowning, all that. the Crystal Gems are clapping for him and lying to his face, and he KNOWS they are because he overheard them talking about how it was "impossible for him to fail" that test (- Garnet).

And yet... he also overheard them saying that they're just trying their best. They don't know what he needs. They never really have. No one is sure. So, Steven realizes that by picking a fight, he would just be making it worse for them because they would know they messed up, and nothing gets solved, and everyone gets more depressed and Amethyst and Pearl go back to fighting each other and- well, you get the picture. He doesn't have a full understanding of what's going on, so his kid brain went "so I can either be angry at them and cause problems, or I can tell them I did a good job to make them happy."

"I can lie to make them happy."

He storms down there angry, still mulling this decision over. He drops to the floor, frowning and pissed, and says "I can't believe you guys." He is so close to yelling at them, and yet, when he looks up at them...

"That was so... INSANE!"

You never would have been able to tell. It was right there. That moment. And then he never stops. For the ENTIRE REST of the series, he NEVER STOPS. He puts the Crystal Gems above himself every time. Think Rose's Scabbard, The Message, The Return/Jailbreak. The Cluster. Peridot. Dealing with Jasper. The zoo arc (ESPECIALLY the zoo arc). Aquamarine. Then pretty much the entirety of Season 5.

(NOTE: I went back and rewatched that scene for the screenshot. There is a blink-and-you'll-miss-it lip tremble in there too! D,: )

He lives for the people around him, and not for himself. Almost never for himself.

Put a pin in that.

Now, let's look at his maturity. People thought that was just him being mature, right? That he grew up. No. That was not it at all. He was learning from his own behaviors as well as the people around him, and building up this idea that he had to "fight to be everything that everyone wants [him] to be when [he's] grown" (- Steven, the extended intro).

Yes, he matured, but not because of that. He started making various decisions to benefit the group that oftentimes he wasn't fully comfortable with, but something he believed would be better for everyone.

Put a pin in that.

Then, later in Future, we see it all manifest. He is selfless to a fault, to the point that he can't think of himself in a positive light in the sense that he's good. We see it a couple of times, but especially in "Prickly Pair," when he vents to Cactus Steven about everything that happened. He feels useless, which is taking a toll on his mental health.

"Why do I need to be needed?" He needs to be needed because that's everything he was as a kid. His entire IDENTITY rests on his ability to help other people, no matter what happens to him. He literally sacrificed himself for them countless times (the big one of course being the Aquamarine incident), and now as a teenager, his whole sense of self is wrapped up in this need to get up and do something to make the world better.

And when he can't make the world better, his world falls apart.

Put a pin in that.

Now, let's talk about Spinel, the moment we've all been waiting for.

Spinel, as a gem, was made specifically to be a friend. That is her niche, and her purpose. Her reason for existing. At first, she and Pink Diamond got along very well, as shown in the flashbacks right before Drift Away plays (I headcanon she has illusion powers and was literally projecting her trauma, but that's a completely different post).

She and Pink vibed together for who knows how long, until one day, Pink started to not like being around Spinel anymore, finding her annoying and childish. We don't know what really caused the switch, just that it did happen (but of course, I have headcanons for that, too). Spinel never realized until it was FAR too late.

Steven actually describes his younger self as annoying at one point during the Diamond Days arc, when he decides to throw the ball, so I'm legally allowed to make this comparison.

Steven and Spinel were the SAME. They were both young and dumb, and something that at least a few people found annoying. People put up with their BS though, since they cared about them. But, while Steven realized this and matured because of it (or bottled up his emotions, to each their own), Spinel never did. She never matured. She was never given a chance.

In the movie, we saw her as a child, and watched as she played with Pink and never tried to be or do anything else, to the point that Pink Diamond thought to realize she might be struggling (and maybe Spinel didn't, either!).

She lives for the people around him, and not for herself. Almost never for herself.

And when she can't be friends with this one person, her world falls apart.

Sound familiar? It should. I literally pulled from things I said earlier lol.

Spinel and Steven are mirror reflections of each other. Reset!Spinel is 14-year-old Steven, completely devoting her entire self to one idea. Steven's was helping others no matter what, Spinel's was serving Pink no matter what. Spinel is like a combination of 14 and 12-year-old Steven in this sense, honestly. Goofy, without a care in the world, except one thing: the people around her. She would do anything for Pink, just as Steven would do anything for his family.

Now, Pink Diamond left Spinel. We all know this story. She left Spins there in the garden for 6,000 years because she grew more mature and started a rebellion, effectively forgetting about this one gem she kinda stopped caring about standing there.

Personally, I don't think Pink had any malicious or even intentional intent in that, but this ain't about her. This is about how Spinel continued to sacrifice herself for Pink, even when Pink didn't need her to anymore. She wanted to please Pink 24/7, all day every day, to the point she self-sacrificed and stood perfectly still for her for millenia.

Now, back to Steven. The gems don't need him anymore in Future, right? They've all grown up and matured and headed off towards their own futures, effectively stranding him alone in terms of self-identity and self-worth. But he stays there, ready to assist at the drop of a hat, or- in Future's case- the call of a phone.

Episode 6 anyone? The one everyone says shouldn't be in Future? That it should have been cut to allow more focus on Steven himself? The fusion episode? YEAH. THAT. He is running himself RAGGED to try and help others, to give himself a purpose. He is self-sacrificing. (He's a professional, don't worry. /j)

Steven metaphorically planted his feet down and decided that he was going to devote himself to the people around him.

Spinel's feet were literally tied down soon after she made that very same decision.

Okay, enough with the backstory. Time for the salt.

In Future, Steven is at his lowest low. He is running to the Diamonds for help, to see if there is SOMETHING they can do to help him. And we first see Spinel.

Spinel has been through the ringer on a lot of the same mental problems Steven himself is facing. She self-isolated, watched as everyone grew up and left her, and then began to lash out because of it. She understands what he's going through. We even see her concerned as Steven starts to tell her why he's there.

Spinel takes him from Diamond to Diamond, until he's running out of White's room in a blind panic. Spinel is able to catch up with him, and Steven realizes the same. SHE GETS IT. He turns around and says "Hey, you used to have vengeful thoughts!"

Spinel replies "Ohhhhh yeah, but I don't have 'em anymore."

"How did you make them stop?"

She then goes on to sing Change to him, effectively cutting that conversation short.

On paper, that sounds very in-character for her. She's goofy! And that is what worked for her! But the problem is that they had to dumb her down in order to make that character decision work. In the movie, she was shown to be observant and able to put two and two together, even if she often jumps to conclusions (see her being the one to figure out that the gems needed to remember their "pieces," as she remembers the Garden, her re-realizing what Pink did, and her meltdown later when she reactivates the injector).

Spinel is smart. It should have been in character for her to realize that Steven was panicking just as she had been, and needed to be talked to gently. But no. Instead, she starts belting out Change, which given Steven's situation, would not work for him.

At the very least, she would have started doing little tricks or started trying to get him to join a game, which would have taken his mind off of it (to her anyways, that wouldn't have worked either), which then could have prompted further discussion.

Then, once they finally start talking, Spinel could have been able to share some legitimate advise. She was hurt and lashed out. What worked for her was opening up to others and letting them in, learning to trust again (which Steven also has problems with- he can't trust that the Gems won't break down the second he turns his back. Trust does NOT equal love, there is no doubt he loves them to no end), and allowing other people in.

That is what Steven needed, too. He needed to let his guard down and just talk to someone. Sure, Spinel was not going to be a fix-all, but she could have at least offered some insight on what to do.

She UNDERSTANDS him. They are a reflection of each other.

But instead of offering help, Spinel made it worse. She was dumbed down to allow the rest of Future to happen, to make Steven feel even worse. Because- and here's the kicker- because the one person who MIGHT understand him doesn't, that means there's no hope for him.

At least, that's how he sees it. And so, the denial- and "Everything's Fine"- begins.

Here's the thing, though; they DIDN'T NEED to make that decision. If the Crew wanted to have Spinel not understand Steven, then draw the line of her being a Gem from Era 1, used to the Diamonds shattering people.

Steven has killed Jasper and revived her at this point, so maybe Spinel offers that at least he's trying to get better, just like the other Diamonds! See, they're doing so great now! And then that makes him feel worse since he IS trying to do better, but is only failing, while the Diamonds- who were MADE to be nasty dictators- are doing better than him.

The Diamonds shattered a lot of people, and they're doing better than Steven, who has only shattered one person, and not even on purpose. How horrible is that?

Then boom. THERE'S your angst, with a much smarter, more helpful Spinel.

Look, I knew going in that Spinel wasn't going to be able to help. The finale had to happen somehow, and we hadn't seen Wormy Boi yet. I have always been a storng believer of the corrupted Steven theory, so I knew it was bound to happen. But I was hoping that Spinel would at least try. But she really didn't. She just brushed him off, offering really loose advise that didn't even fit his situation and thinking that would be enough.

No. It's not.

I can see where the Crew was coming from. I still love that episode, and I love seeing Spins in it (until that exact moment). This is probably the only thing in SU that genuinely gets me mad. Or, well, maybe not mad, but definitely annoyed and- you guessed it- salty.

I have an unfinished fic where I kinda delve into Spinel's head for that episode called "A New Start". If you really want my thoughts on where Spinel's head was at, there's a bit in there that really explains it. In the fic, Steven decides to rejuvenate himself and brings Spinel along with him, and that's all the context you need for this.

I cannot explain that moment in the climax of the episode, though. Maybe she thought it would make him feel better, or that maybe he really did just need to open his eyes and see the error of his ways (which doesn't make sense, he KNOWS what he did). Maybe she thought that being silly would help somehow.

But you'd think she'd learn from her time with Pink as she grew more annoyed with her, but apparently not. Or maybe she would realize for a second that being loud and annoying was bad. Or maybe she doesn't learn.

Either way, it- and she- was dumb. And they did my baby dirty.

*drops mic and walks away*

[gryffindors-weasley]

A Moment With You

James Potter x Reader

Summary: When you wander from the Spring Ball, you find yourself sharing a moment with James.

Word Count: 2.2k

Warnings: mutual pining, fluff, kissing

The Great Hall was filled from corner to corner with the utmost of jovial and boisterous energy, alive with the excitement that comes with events such as this one. It was the first ever spring ball to be held at Hogwarts—the only other ball that had been save for the occasional Yule Ball. It was deemed to be a good addition to create for the students, a perfect way to end the school year as spring began to turn to summer slowly but surely.

It was beautiful, really, and you were in agreement that it’d been a rather nice way to finish your seventh year in a place that’d become your childhood. Hundreds upon hundreds of blossoming flowers had flourished brightly across the spacious room in just about every color you could imagine, perfuming the air with the sweetest of scents. There were a myriad of brightly colored dresses and said flowers tucked in one another’s hair by their dates, the dance floor having never been empty of students. Soft pink sparkles of light had even rained down from the enchanted ceiling in a wash of color, the small flecks dropping low enough to dust overtop people’s heads and shoulders.

It was all spectacularly and marvelous, something you wouldn’t have wanted to miss seeing if even for just a moment. And it was a sight to see your friends have so much fun, whether they took to dancing or when Sirius found himself tossing pieces of food at Remus across the small table. You’d had fun, you’d enjoyed yourself, but you found yourself wanting to break away from everything in favor of having a moment alone. So, you did just that.

You had since excused yourself and made your way through clusters of students to get to the large double doors, slipping away into the grand corridors. It felt as though you’d taken a breath of fresh air in that very moment, and the farther you’d walked from it the more distant and muffled the commotion began to be. It felt more comfortable to be in your own company.

The sun was just setting, it’s broken beams casting bright and orange through the latticed and arched windows, splaying warmly across the floor and illuminating every fleck of dust it could find. No matter how wondrous and enchanting that ceiling in the Great Hall always was, it always paled in comparison to the very sky at sunset. To the very colors it’s painted with, different each and every time it did so.

You hadn’t known how long you’d been gone, surely it must have been at least half an hour since you’d left the crowd in favor of being there, but you couldn’t be entirely sure. What you had known, however, was that you hadn’t been left by yourself for too long.

“So, this is where you’ve run off to?” James.

You turn around at the ever familiar voice, one belonging to a certain dark-haired boy that made your heart flutter more than you’d ever care to admit.

“Yeah, how’d you know?”

A smile tugs at the corners of his mouth then as he shrugs, his hands in his pockets as he walks closer to you. “Instinct?”

You laugh softly and shake your head, turning away before he could see the pink staining your cheeks under the light of the sun. It was true, though. It was always obvious to him when you’d been elsewhere, always noticeable when you’re not around. Well, it’s incredibly noticeable to him, at least. There’s never the same light when you’re not there, not the same radiance that always followed you around no matter what. It wasn’t that hard for him to figure out that it’s you he found himself searching for just about anywhere he’d been.

He’d found himself coming to the realization that he always seems to gravitate to where you are and where you will be. He’d follow you anywhere given the chance if it meant he could be with you, could be around you. It was a fact he hadn’t known what to do with at first, hadn’t entirely known what it meant to feel just so about someone. But after a few weeks had gone by, a few months, a year or two—he knew his fond feelings for you were more than just the silly crush he’d once believed it to be.

“And just why is it that you’ve followed me out here, James? You seemed to have been having the time of your life in there,” you say with a smile of your own, nodding in the direction of the Great Hall.

He finds himself scratching the back of his neck as his head lowers to look at his feet for a moment, his gaze soon flickering up to yours as the corner of his mouth quirks up in a grin. His hand falls back to his side then, his smile widening before he speaks up.

“Because I never got to ask you to dance,” he says, eyes sparkling and expression fond.

The tips of his fingers brushed over yours and the teasing grin on your face was one you found you couldn’t help even if you tried to, and he knew what was coming. He always did.

“Have you been dying to ask me this whole time?” There it was.

He rolled his eyes, enveloping your hand fully then and tugging you into his arms as your laughter rings out into the empty corridor, his soon to mingle with your own as the softest of blushes burns his cheeks. You were right, you were always right. But he fought against allowing you to know just that for the sake of his own embarrassment, instead lifting you off your feet and twirling you just to hear your laughter once more.

Your giddiness had yet to dissipate when he set you back down, his arm circling around your waist and his hand finding yours as his lingering giggles puff against your skin. He’d always had a way of making you feel happier than you’d ever felt, as if nothing else mattered, at least not even nearly as much as it did when you were with him. His mere presence was enough to put a smile on his face, whether it be his clumsy antics or the way he lit up any room he was in. James Potter was the one you always found yourself thinking of, even in that obscenely large room full of people.

He’d been the head turner of any event whenever he was in attendance—boisterous and free spirited, his mere habit of being the clumsiest person you’d ever known never failing to make you smile. You knew that to be true as you looked up at him, a curl of his hair dipping over his forehead. The setting sun danced over his skin, illuminating the sparkle in his eyes as he looked at you. He couldn’t quite keep his rhythm in the dance he so longed to have with you if you kept looking at him like that.

“You missed it. Sirius had spilled his drink all over Lupin’s suit in an attempt to levitate it to him,” he starts, laughing as he recalls it. “He just might still be chasing Pad’s around as we speak.”

You chuckle at the thought, turning your head away to stave off the heat in your cheeks from the gaze of his that fell upon you. Those two had always been up to something, and you wouldn’t doubt it if they’d gotten themselves into trouble by that point. If James hadn’t been with you right now, you were quite sure he would be too.

“I’m betting Lily’s gone mad by now,” you say.

“Surely she must be,” he grins.

It was then as you shake your head and smile at his words that he finds himself resisting the urge to reach up and tuck your hair behind your ear. He felt as though the view just outside the grand window you danced in front of was no match for you. He doesn’t think anything could rival you for that matter. Not with the way the sun makes your hair glimmer and the way it makes it appear as though you’re simply glowing. Though he’s starting to believe that’s just how you are.

“You look beautiful,” he says before he can find it in him to stop himself, the words falling from his lips without pause.

Your gaze returns to him and his heart nearly skips a beat, your smile soft as your cheeks burn a soft scarlet. The butterflies in your stomach were rapidly becoming hard to ignore at that point, his expression mirroring yours as you brush the stray curl out away from his forehead.

“And you look quite dashing yourself.”

He chuckles, looking downwards as he squeezes your hand in his own softly. He too found himself hiding the crimson daring to tinge his cheeks, for you were just about the only person who could bring out such a thing. You were bouncing from thought to thought as you danced in his arms, trying not to make a fool of yourself in front of your best friend. The silence between you hadn’t made matters any better either, leaving you to focus on your proximity and the way he held your hand so tenderly.

It was becoming increasingly hard to think about anything other than him as of late. Each and every time you’d tried not to, it had only made things terribly worse, you’d only thought of him more than you had before. But you suppose that’s what happens when you fall for your best friend.

“You don’t have to stay with me, you know. You are the life of the party after all,” you say after a little while a stewing in your own silence, a teasing smile gracing your lips.

He grins then, wider than he has been the entirety of the time he’s been with you as he lifts your hand and twirls you once, quick to pull you close to him again.

“Are you trying to get rid of me, Y/n/n?” He quips, his brow raised playfully as he awaits your answer.

Another laugh leaves your lips then as you release his hand, pushing the glasses back up the bridge of his nose. You look at him then, smile soft as your gaze meets his, and you bite the inside of your cheek in a pitiful attempt to conceal your emotions. Your heart had been fluttering, racing wildly in your chest at the closeness the two of you shared. You were mere inches apart as you swayed to music unheard, nose nearly brushing against yours.

“No, absolutely not,” you say then, your tone ever so indicative of your jesting.

His laughter fans across your lips at that, though it’s quick to die down just as quickly as it’d started once you meet gazes. In a matter of moments your foreheads rest on one another, your dancing having since become distracted in favor of focusing on just how close you’d been to each other. Just how you looked at each other. It hadn’t helped with the way the very tips of your fingers had brushed over his cheek before you’d wrapped your arms around his neck.

He already knew that this moment was far better than any second he’d spent within the Great Hall. He felt as though he might burst if his feelings boil over any more than they had been, and little did he know you felt the same.

It was then that you leaned on your very tip-toes and he dipped his head down, his lips brushing over yours in the softest of kisses. A kiss that’d let loose another round of butterflies to wreak havoc within you. There was a fleeting moment between that and the next, one taken just to smile at each other, noses scrunched and cheeks flushed.

“I love you,” he murmurs softly, eyes fluttered closed as he nods against you. “I’m in love with you.”

You pull back to look at him, your expression beaming and bright as he looks down at you.

“You’re in love with me?” You hadn’t meant to sound quite so surprised at his words, the flicker of nervousness having flashed across his face being something that made you stifle your own laughter. But he quickly hid it as he nodded once more, pulling you impossibly closer to him. Once you could find it in you to gather your words, to break from your daze, you murmur, “I love you.”

You were near breathless when the words fell past your lips, his smile bright as he kissed you once more. It was a mere few seconds before he parted from you, having found himself peppering his affections across your cheek as he spun you in his arms, your laughter sounding at the suddenness. His embrace was tight as he kissed you again, the giddy action having you stumble back a step or two in his arms as your giggling had yet to stop. His hand settled on your cheek, gentle and warm as he kissed your nose, his breath splaying over your lips.

It was then, in the empty corridor within the remaining glow of the sun, that a moment with you is far better than a million with just anyone else.

—

Tags: @anchoeritic @ch0colatefr0gs @vogueweasley @amourtentiaa @hahee154hq @snitches-at-dawn @dracosathenaeum @harrysweasleys @awritingtree @writeroutoftime

[colourful-void]

Supporting Satoshi - an examination and comparison of JN36 and XY121

Part One: Snowballs do not cure depression but it was worth a shot

You know that episode of Pokemon where a gym leader beats Satoshi in a battle so hard that one of his pokemon gets mildly hurt (though there's no long term effects) and because of it he becomes depressed, closing himself off from his friends before someone comes along to pull him out of that mental state, and also severe weather phenomena is involved and a reflection of a persons mental state? Or rather, the two episodes?

So when I was watching Journeys, I noticed an episode that had a similar-- but distinctly different-- plot to an xy episode I had seen before. And what was particularly interesting was that while I couldn't stand the xy episode, the journeys episode was one of my favourites. I won't drag this out for you guys, I love the journeys episode and re watch it a LOT and the xy episode sort of just leaves me with a sour taste in my mouth. and don't go claiming its solely ship bias, because i saw the xy episode first and disliked it then.

This will analyze both of these episodes, comparing them against each other. Specifically within the context of how Goh and Serena both help Satoshi through a similar situation There will be some discussion of AmourShipping and Satogou in this analysis. I'm going to be a bit negative regarding Serena's actions and the potential "romantic" weight of them here, but I want to be clear that I Do Not dislike Serena as a character. Personally, I wish the writers had given her more room to grow outside of her romantic interests, but I do not hate Serena as a character. I do, however, disagree with her actions in this episode. Please don't take this out of context and dont be ship fighting in the comments, it's boring. This is a comparison of These Two Episodes, not of Goh and Serena and their respective ships as a whole.

This part mainly focuses on the xy episode and the second will focus mainly on the journeys. It's only divided into parts because of the tumblr post limit.

(If you like the xy episode or hate the journeys episode, awesome! having your own opinions is great. these are mine though, so i hope you'll listen to them)

With that out of the way, let's start. And I'm going to use mostly japanese names here because I'm taking screencaps from the subbed japanese copies.

The set up for each of these episodes is eerily similar as pointed out in the gag at the start.

Xy has a bit more set up before the episode in question though, with the initial loss and retreat into the forest by Satoshi taking place the episode before. The episode opens up proper with Satoshi taking time to breathe to himself, alone in the forest.

Emphasis is placed on him taking a deep breath, aided by the visuals showing them (thanks cold air) and the silence of the rest of the soundscape, with the only other sounds being the wind and some bird pokemon, plus some falling snow.

Journeys Satoshi starts off in a better mental state than Xy, with the episode starting off with him jogging along with his pokemon.

However, we can still see that he's been affected by the last battle he lost, against Saitou, as he's putting a lot of effort into training and doing better.

Which, doesn't go well for him, as he loses his next two battles as well, and drops in the World Championship ranking as a result

And he's pretty upset about it too. Same thing as over in xy. In both cases, a respective friend/love interest notes that Satoshi is upset and expresses concern.

He's got support from his friends in both situations! But that support comes across in very different ways.

But, to understand how that support manages to affect Satoshi, we need to understand the problem at play.

Now, I wanna make something clear here. Satoshi's problem is not that he is a sore loser. I'm not arguing that's not a contributing factor, or that he's not upset about the loss (particularly in the world championships), He's still bitter about the lost part, but the root of the problem is not losing, he's been shown to be fine with losing (if not a bit more motivated to win now) in prior episodes.

Satoshi's problem is that his pokemon are getting hurt. Satoshi's problem is that his pokemon are getting hurt, because they're losing battles. Satoshi's problem is that his pokemon are losing battles because he's not training them well enough. And to clarify, that's not my viewpoint, it's his. Satoshi's problem is that he's not good enough for himself, and he feels that that's something he has to fix on his own.

So how do we help him?

Our weather event in question is introduced in separate points in the episodes, but I'll cover them both now.

In xy, it's this snowstorm, which conveniently becomes a problem directly after Serena returns to the Pokemon Centre.

In journeys, it's a sandstorm! That's in near direct contrast to a snowstorm! Incredible.

Heading back to xy Satoshi, things aren't going great in the forest. Luckily, Serena's run off to find him.

I think it's of note here that Serena runs off with the best intentions, she wants to help Satoshi, plain and simple. It just sort of goes wrong along the way.

It's worth noting that Xy Satoshi tries to bring himself out of being sad by the tried and true method of "stop being sad"

Despite telling himself this, he doesn't get anywhere. Which makes sense, because it's not getting the the root of the problem. It's not even addressing it at all. He's just trying to 'be better', which isn't even a battle strategy. However, it is something I can see him saying, so this isn't a critique of Satoshi's thought process, but me pointing out that this isn't really effective. Which is supported by the narrative, because again, he doesn't get anywhere, he doesn't even move.

I can't show it in screencaps but the lights in Satoshi's eyes are shaking here, something that they consistently do throughout the series when he's feeling a particularly strong emotion. Keep that in mind. It couples well with another trait of his, and that's his hat!

And by that I mean how he hides his eyes with the brim of it when upset, something he does exactly as Serena shows up and calls out to him. Now, he's not upset that Serena is here. He's upset about the pokemon stuff still. He's trying to hide the fact that he's upset from Serena.

Serena starts off with her speech well, trying to appeal to Satoshi to let her in and talk things out. And maybe it's because he wasn't ready for it yet, or because of the way she phrases it (a lot of 'i' and 'me' language which can be helpful but can also come across as though she's making it about her. not her intent i don't think, but a possible interpretation.), it's not her fault for how Satoshi reacts regardless.

But how Satoshi reacts is not good.

Now it's really interesting to note that before this, Serena was standing while Satoshi was sitting, putting her above him in terms of active power, when it comes to how the shot is presented, but when Satoshi stands up, the camera tilts with the movement so that they're on equal level. Neat!

And Serena yells in return, scolding Satoshi for not talking about it. Not the best move, since pushing someone to talk about something that's upsetting them isn't really productive, but she's trying here and she's frustrated.

Satoshi continues to withdraw and self isolate, claiming it is his problem and that he wants to be left be. Now, this is the mindset of a clearly upset person and isolation may not be the best option, but he did make the explicit request to be left alone here.

He's clearly upset as he turns away from Serena's eye and slumps over a little.

And then Serena throws a snowball at him.

Angry as he is, you can see Satoshi's expression change when he sees Serena's reaction.

Serena tells Satoshi that she's not like the Satoshi she knows, who is always full of energy and positive and a leader, and a bunch of other positive traits. The problem here, is that Serena's looking at an idealized version of Satoshi. And while the intent here was probably meant to be something more like "you have so many wonderful traits about you I know you can do this", coupled with the snowballs and the phrasing, it seems as though Serena is scolding Satoshi for being sad.

Or rather, being angry with him for not living up to her idealized version of him, and not wanting him to express any negitave emotions.

Which is sort of a really bad mindset.

The snowballs continue, never once does Satoshi fight back. In fact, he stops arguing entirely after the first one. Serena knocks him off his feet and tells him he's not being himself, before running off. (In the english dub, Serena claims that Satoshi isn't being "the real satoshi" and then demands that the real Satoshi be "given back", so it could be worse)

Satoshi decides to literally run his problems away, because it will help him reach some kind of conclusion, and immediately trips and falls down a large hill. No, I'm not making that up. Something like this just isn't like him. He's just gotta stop being sad!

Now personally, I really disagree with the idea that "being upset" isn't "like a person". That's because based off of my own experiences, I know it can be really damaging to hold the mindset that any negative emotions you feel aren't a part of you and that you shouldn't be upset because you're usually a positive and happy person. Not the case with every person, but I personally really have a problem with shows telling children that they just shouldn't be upset instead of processing their emotions in a meaningful way. (The journeys episode doesn't do an outstanding job of it either, but this is a bit of a tangent anyway. A show that does do this right is "OK KO! Let's be Heroes" which actually deals with this problem in greater depth and does a fantastic job of it.)

But the snowball scene ends here. Now I'll get back to Journeys in a moment, but since Serena has finished her part of the comparison for the most part, I'm going to summarize a bit more of the xy episode.

Satoshi decides to literally run his problems away, because it will help him reach some kind of conclusion, and immediately trips and falls down a large hill. No, I'm not making that up.

The snowstorm kicks in, Serena get back annoyed, then similarly groans and yells, and the whole xy gang + pokemon go running off in search of Satoshi. Pikachu appears the most concerned.

Now Serena tells the others she lost her cool and said something horrible to Satoshi, but explains its because Satoshi is someone she admires. Cool motive, I get it, still kinda bad.

and in the end, it's not Serena's words that get he message across to Satoshi. The solution to this problem was Satoshi finding a way to reaffirm his abilities and instinct.

In the xy episode, he helps some pokemon out of the tree, and when his very cool frog friend shows up, they're able to work together with their bond to save this one from falling off a cliff.

Here's the point. Satoshi learns by doing, by actions. He needs to see first hand that there are ways of getting past his problems, and that it's worth having the courage to keep going. The lesson is about valuing pokemon as equals and partners, and specifically that trying to be better as the trainer alone isn't going to help.

This is essentially where this plot line ends, team rocket is there for a bit as well but as much as i love them they're not relevant here, and some fun stuff with the league, love it not important right now its like 3am and I'm not sleeping until this is finished so we gotta keep things moving.

This was no doubt Serena's intent to get a similar point, but she goes about it the wrong way. She tries to convey this with words, as conversation and motivational words have helped her in the past (Elle's words of praise stick with her, Satoshi's words from when they were kids, etc). It's a good idea, but their different ways of learning and growing from a similar situation are incompatible, and that's why things don't work out in Serena's favour. There's also still the problem of "pulling yourself together" not being helpful in this case.

There's also a very similar line in this scene to the one at the end of the journeys episode, as Satoshi says to his frog that they should start over from scratch. It's essentially the same phrase with different wording. It's great. The Storm ends as he realizes this as well! Wonderful in terms of pathetic fallacy.

The gang all reunites, its nice. Satoshi thanks Serena for what she said after apologizing to everyone, which contradicts what he said earlier but I've already established that I dislike this message here so I won't go over it too much. I guess he's right in a literal sense in that in response to her words he went and ran until he tripped off a cliff but the emotional growth here was because of his own actions (and the frogs), not Serena's. Sorry Serena, you'll get em next time.

This is essentially where this plot line ends, team rocket is there for a bit as well but as much as i love them they're not relevant here, and some fun stuff with the league, love it not important right now its like 3am as I write this so we gotta keep things moving.

So. What about Goh?

Well...

(Part Two here on account of image limit!!)

[tobeornottotc]

Cherry Magic Ep 11: The problem with  Self Deprecation

You had two choices Adachi. But you didn’t hope to see a chance the second one.

It’s painful because Adachi has always thought that this was going to happen that’s why he was so scared the whole time before he and Kurosawa got together. And it’s painful and heartbreaking. Basically Adachi fell into self despair, he went back to his old thoughts that all he is, is a burden and not worth it, that he wasn’t deserving of someone like Kurosawa’s love, affection and attention. All he wanted was to prove to himself he was worth it. But once he got rejected by that woman for his designs he worked on himself, it felt like he was right; all that hard work, attention, affection Kurosawa showed him was wasted on someone like him, after everything Kurosawa did for him he still without magic couldn’t do something to show him he was worth the effort. That’s why he spiraled into self hate and anxiety again. He went back to his old self, the one that fought so hard to let Kurosawa in. 

Remember from episode 6 his biggest reason for why he had anxiety this whole time; he doesn’t want to be seen as heavy. This is the reason why we had all those episodes of angst because he knew once he got with Kurosawa there will be a time he disappointed him or was to heavy/ burden to him. And that’s what he felt this episode coupled with impostor syndrome, guilt about not being enough for Kurosawa who just is such a perfect person who deserves someone like that, not being on the level people want him to be. How can he believe in himself when he doesn’t even see any reason to, every single reason he started to get better was because of Kurosawa and Magic well that’s what he thinks. He didn’t even understand that his idea was his before he read that woman’s mind, that the reason he gave her was actually what his purpose was at the start; he said the same thing to Kurosawa in episode 10; he made the emojis to focus on emotions of people, but the magic made him stop thinking about his own skills and he saw himself as a cheater.

It’s just so painful. In the end he accepted what he always knew one day he and Kurosawa will have to break up because he was worthless, imperfect and heavy. He took the first choice without even trying to hope for another way to not lose Kurosawa. He did not try to fight for what they had because he had gone into such a well of self hate and doubt and anxiety again he’d regressed so much this episode because of his worries about the magic, about losing it. The reason was because of Tsuge.

The episode starts of with Tsuge showing what happens without the magic being misunderstood and dealing with miscommunication, Adachi saw that he would end up like Tsuge just blaming himself and not being what Or giving what Kurosawa wanted from him without the magic. Adachi believed he was going to fail without the magic and so he told Kurosawa his fears and once Kurosawa gave him an out, he took it refusing to look back because he expected Kurosawa to do so. He didn’t even understand that Kurosawa was giving him a choice so he stops being the one causing a burden to Adachi🙄

If Adachi was feeling worthless and heavy to Kurosawa this episode, Kurosawa was even worse, his thoughts were trying to find ways to make Adachi calm down and believe in himself but he realised his presence was doing the opposite: it was making Adachi think he was worthless. He was failing Adachi. That’s why he gave Adachi the out in guise of a choice he probably hoped Adachi would stay and fight like he always did when he read his mind and tell him it’s wrong but Adachi immediately agreed and left him broken. Also from the beginning he first met Adachi all Kurosawa has been trying to do was make him feel like he made him feel 7 years ago, he wanted him to see how great he was, how comforting he was, how healing he was, he wanted to do all that for Adachi, so the realisation that being with him was doing the opposite, he tried to give Adachi a way out. 

But Adachi was feeling the same way; a burden to him instead. It’s funny how again Kurosawa and Adachi’s need to please people is the reason for why they broke up, the need to be each other’s perfect person instead of just being themselves, Adachi found no confidence in just being without the magic and Kurosawa felt like he was more of an obstacle each time he was being himself he wanted to be more to Adachi, he wanted to be his support, his number one, his help because Adachi did so to him 7 years ago because of this he also wanted to please Adachi, so much he realised the only way to do so was to free him from the comparison to him and being with him with those thoughts. Kurosawa has always thought him being perfect was like a burden, but in a different way people wanted so much from him and objectified him but Adachi saw his perfection the opposite, instead of it making Adachi want to be with him, it made Adachi feel not good enough to be him. His perfection became a different kind of burden. 

And it just sucks because it’s miscommunication as always but this time, the magic instead of always healing; it is being the cause to break their bond,  which is ironic if you think about how these two got together. I don’t know what to say, all I know is Adachi needs to become brave and learn to trust and love himself. He should see what he is to people without the magic, it’s not the magic that made Kurosawa fall for him, it was him being himself, he was the person who saved Kurosawa 7 years ago, he was the one that came up with that idea for the emojis and it was praised, he was the one who stood up for Tsuge and told him to be brave without magic, it’s all so important that he notices that he’s helpful and he’s kind and he’s okay just being himself without magic.

It’s okay to fail once but you can try again, it’s okay to be awkward and weird and have anxiety with people because you can be your self and people will notice your light and your helping heart. It’s okay to be heavy sometimes with the person you love, if they’re right for you (RIGHT FOR YOU AS IN You DONT HAVE TO CHANGE FOR THEM TO BE RIGHT FOR YOU) they’ll understand and be your comfort and help. You deserve someone like Kurosawa because as much as he does for you, you do the same for him, you proved it 7 years ago. You proved it last episode as well when you told him to just be himself and took away his burdens of trying to please you. You made Kurosawa feel just comfortable, being his true self. Because you see him in a different way than others. That’s why he chose you.  

That's all you have to do Adachi . You had two choices but you refused to wait for the hope of the second, you refused to do the one thing ;Kurosawa wanted from you the whole episode to trust your self and believe in your abilities. You took the easy way out and broke both Kurosawa and your self esteem even further. You took the easy way out when you’ve been fighting all episodes to be brave and trust your heart and your self. You forgot that you don’t want to see Kurosawa hurt and sad. You forgot how much Kurosawa needed you not because of magic but because of you.

That’s the problem with Self hate and trying to please others. It convinces you that you are not enough, that you’re not worth it, that you break all you touch but really the damage is you actually not giving your self a chance. You think that without you people would thrive when really its because you left and gave up that the person declined. 

It’s not easy to trust our selves with anxiety and self deprecation, it’s not easy to see what we do for others. But when someone comes into your life worth showing up for, then you have to stop hiding and thinking the world is never going to be yours, you have to be brave and fight for the right to have that person by your side. And hopefully Adachi will learn that next week. 

No one is perfect but by taking a leap of faith, and trusting that by being our truest selves, our weakest self, our broken  self, that we still deserve love, and happiness, that’s when we become whole and find our answer and safe space and real true love. 

[forthehpfanboys]

Admirable

Pair: Harry Potter x Reader; he/him.

Summary: Harry convinces you that you’re worth it.

Warnings: Kinda Smutty (MDI), kinda fluffy, swears.

Fluff Prompt 21 and Smut Prompt 44: “Say one more bad thing about yourself! I dare you! Go on! Do it and I’ll give you the biggest fucking hug!” and “I wish you could see just how beautiful you are.” 

~DO NOT REPOST ANYWHERE~

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Harry strolled out of class, happy for it to finally be over. The bickering of his friends had him rolling his eyes so hard he wondered if they’d pop out of his skull. Personally, he didn’t care enough to argue over the importance of stirring a potion in the correct direction, so he left them be. He looked behind him, noting how Ron and Hermione were still packing their stuff while chewing each other out, before looking down the hall to the many students heading to their next classes. That was when he noticed the figure on the floor through the reflection of his glasses. 

You were sitting on the floor, across the hall from the entrance to the classroom. His green eyes followed your gaze, which was casted down to your hands that were fiddling with the sleeves of your robe. Harry found himself wondering what caused you to sit on the cold tiles of the dungeon, clearly battling with the thoughts plaguing your head. He knew you had a free period while he had potions, so it must’ve happened within that free time.

When Harry turned to his friends, who had stopped bickering at this point and stood just beside him, they gave him an understanding nod, to which he returned with a soft smile and a wave. The pair hurried off to give you guys your space, both hoping you were ok. So, with a deep breath, Harry took the last few steps to stand in front of you and sat down to your right. When you didn’t look up, he reached out for one of your hands and separated your hand from your sleeve and held it gently.

“Love? Are you ok?” Harry asked, a soft grin on his face. He didn’t want to be too intrusive, but he knew something was up. He let out the breath through his nose when you looked at him. He noticed the puffiness of your eyes and the redness of your nose.

“Yeah, I’m good. Just um,” you paused to lick over your lips, “Malfoy starting stuff, like usual. I’m fine.” Your voice was nasally. You’d been crying. Harry gripped your hand harder when he realized you’d been alone when you were at your most vulnerable.

“That’s why the weasel wasn’t in class.” Harry grumbled to himself. He gently gripped your chin with his other hand and began looking for any cuts, bruises or hints of damage to your profile. “He didn’t touch you, did he? Merlin, if he did, I’ll kill him.”

You couldn’t help but give him a small smile. He was always protective of you. He loved you, he needed you and longed for the day the two of you could be safe and happy and sharing an apartment somewhere and getting a dog and-

“No, no. He didn’t touch me, Harry.” You gently pulled his hand from your chin to plant a soft kiss against his palm that made his heart flutter in his chest and a blush to spread across his cheeks. 

“Then what did he do?” Harry tilted his head, but immediately regretted it when his hair fell into his eyes. He tried to shake it out of the way, but stopped when you reached up to move it for him.

“Just started talking shit. Said I was worth less than the gum on the floor of muggle bathrooms, said you deserved better than a mudblood.” You shrugged like it was no big deal. “Said the Chosen One should be with someone of a worthy status and that you’re wasting time on someone as low as me. It just got me thinking.”

Harry’s eyebrow twitched during your short story. His hand not holding yours clenched tight enough his dull nails dug into his palms and his knuckles turned white.

“Thinking what?” He hoped his voice didn’t give way to his frustration, but it still managed to show it’s way in. He dug his teeth into his bottom lip when your eyebrows furrowed together. He didn’t want to make you feel worse. He swallowed thickly when you hesitated to answer.

“Thinking he might be right. I mean- I’m no one, Harry. Why do you love me? I’m not the brightest, or the funniest, or anything special.” You leaned your head back against the rough bricks of the dungeon, ignoring how it caught and tugged on your hair. You chewed on the inside of your cheek before continuing. “I mean, even Malfoy has better grades than I do, and if that twat can ace deviation, I’m fuc-” Before you could finish, Harry all but exploded.

“Say one more bad thing about yourself! I dare you! Go on! Do it and I’ll give you the biggest fucking hug!” Harry shouted, his finger jabbing into your chest. This fucker was challenging you and it managed to lighten your mood a smidgen. You looked between his finger and his challenging eyes. “No, don’t you dare!” He shouted when you slowly opened your mouth to say something.

“Mr. Potter! Would you like to explain why you are shouting in front of my classroom?”

Harry looked up at Snape, blinking dumbly a few times before he responded.

“Well, for starters, they don’t exactly keep chairs in the hallways, so we must sit on the floor, professor.” He spoke smugly while you hid a laugh behind your hand. “And I’m only shouting because it’s necessary. My boyfriend doesn’t quiet understand he’s the best thing that has every happened to me and it’s hurting my feelings.”

“I could not care less about the complications of your relationship, Potter, but must I give you another detention for your insufferable lip necessary?” Snape raised an eyebrow at the silence. “I thought not. Please leave my classroom alone and handle your,” his nose crunched up, ”love life else were.” He shut the door behind him dramatically as he turned and returned to his classroom, flinging the door shut behind him. 

“Arse.” Harry muttered, standing up. He held a hand out to you after dusting himself off. Once you took it, he helped you stand up. The noirette wrapped an arm around your waist as he led you down the hall. “Seriously though, don’t focus on what Malfoy said. He’s got less brain cells than the boulder holding up Hagrid’s hut.”

You couldn’t help but laugh at the comparison and lean into his side. You slid your hand through the opening of his robe so you could rest your hand against his rear as you walked side by side.

“You’re not wrong, hun.” You said, giving his butt a few playful taps before wiggling your hand into his back pocket. You didn’t have to look at him to know he was gawking at you. A satisfied grin stretched across your lips.

“Oh, so you’re feeling better, yeah?” Harry’s sassy tone had you breaking out into a fit of giggles again. “Then how about we head up my dorm? We could do a bit of snuggling or snogging-”

“Why does British slang always involve an s?”

“Hush! I’m trying to be romantic!” Harry whined, bumping his hip against yours. You were worried for a second you’d actually pissed him off, but his beaming smile countered his whiny tone easily. With a roll of his eyes, he continued. “I could show you how much I just- I adore you.” 

“Yeah, that isn’t cheesy at all.” You sassed, your eyes rolling dramatically. Before long, the two of you passed by the dinning hall and straight up the moving staircases to the Gryffindor common room. You spoke the password, barely giving the women in the portrait a second to begin her famous rants. 

Once you stepped in, Harry grabbed your wrist, tugging you against him and slamming his lips against yours. His hand cupped your cheek gently, a stark contrast to the way he nipped at your lip, not caring who saw. You fell into the kiss easily, much like you always did. Your arms wrapped around his waist while he slowly backed you up against the wall just in front of the stairs.

Your hands gripped solely onto his school robes when his hips began to grind into yours. A hum vibrated between your lips before his tongue managed to slip between your teeth. He could feel your cheeks heating up from the very, very short distance and, after dominating your mouth with his tongue, he slowly pulled back. 

His emerald eyes ran along your now swollen lips and half lidded eyes and lazy grin. He reached up, gently swiping his thumb along your lips to wipe the saliva away from the messy kiss. 

“Are you feeling better?” Harry smiled when you nodded your head and planted a soft kiss against the pad of his thumb before taking it into your mouth. The Chosen One shivered when your tongue slid against his skin. “Godric, I wish you could see just how beautiful you are.” His voice was a lazy purr, his eyes getting darker the longer he watched you have your fun. “Come on, let’s head up so I can show you.”

[funkymbtifiction]

It is interesting how ENFP process of self-discovery is almost identical to INFP yet it is in reversed order. I love how you describe it as "a tree being whipped by the wind. The branches sway all over the place, gathering thoughts, ideas, concepts, possibilities, and sometimes the moisture never gets down to the trunk, which is where “I” am" I can almost picture it and it is quite fascinating how different but similar ENFP and INFP's perspectives are.

So, from that point am I correct to assume that introvert and extrovert with the same function (like INFP ENFP or ESTP ISTP) are only similar in how their functions appear like Ne-Fi and Fi-Ne will be similar to some extent but when look deeper into their core, like in how they self-discovery and self-perceiving, they are very different so INFP will be more similar in their core to ISFP than to ENFP?

IFPs are like a slice of life series' protagonist who travels alone and learning to know themselves better along the way, maybe help people too but remains mostly in the background, and be more mature alone, as a result, while EFPs are an adventurer who travels on the road and help people along the way through their solid action to see more of the world and discover new way of seeing things as well as who they are as a person.

The other point I find intriguing is how you describe yourself as being worse than you are and that you are very harsh on yourself. I usually am not hard on myself as much. I know I have judgmental streak. I can be callous and distant at times and I certainly am not a perfectly decent person but I believe in not being too harsh on myself because I possess those qualities. It is a part of myself and will always be a part of who I am. So I need to learn to balance them with other good qualities I possess. And to balance those bad qualities to become a better person, I need time and I can't rush it. So mostly I'm very aware of my bad qualities but usually don't over focus on it, because I know that in time I will be better person because and it's not possible to change who I am at my core. But I can temper my bad qualities to be more balanced. So, it doesn't bother me as much and I also prefer to go slowly, learning and tweaking.

But instead, I tear my hair over work performance and how I fail to do some simple management task competently. It might be inferior Te at work here. Laying out steps and visualizing goals are easy enough, but the extensive management and unexpected situations will throw me off pretty quickly, like a rocking boat. I learned to be more careful and thorough with planning (no unnecessary leaping because I can't competently make split second decision.) But something like product comparison, charging for service or resource-and-cost-oriented decision are still really tough and I usually have no clue how to do it on my own without external system. And when I actually do it, I feel really bad it always nags me in my mind Do I charge too much? If I decide not to take their product, will the producers have a hard time? Usually I resort to ask my ETJ and ESFP friends for help. 

I wish I have more Te though, but that means I might get into Te-grip. So it's fine, for now. I take your advice and try to utilize other people's systems and it works! 

So, if you are willing, may I ask what is your experience to your Tert Te? 

You can understand your introverted or extroverted counterpart extremely well, because you are using all the same functions, just in a different order of preference. It has shocked me at times how identical my thinking is to most of the INFPs I know, except that they are more grounded in Self and I am more "open" to alternative possibilities. So no, I would not say they are more similar to ISFPs than to ENFPs -- ISFPs are more similar to ESFPs than to INFPs. They have a similar need to self-reference, and similar problems with inferior Te, but that is where the resemblance ends.

ISFPs use Se, which makes them far more aware of concrete reality and how their actions have real world consequences, whereas INFPs are dreamy idealists who aren't always aware of "repercussions" because it doesn't occur to them to source the real world when it comes to sharing their values. ISFPs are more realistic, whereas INFPs have the same problem ENFPs have with being too idealistic. It's much the same with the other types as well -- an ISTP understands and 'gets' an ESTP but finds them too quick to act, and an ESTP gets an ISTP but finds them too slow to act, etc.

Regarding the self-recrimination... it comes from having double Enneagram 1 wings in my tritype and and rating extremely high on the Big Five test for Conscientiousness. Being a 2w1 fixer, I want to be helpful, generous, and kind and am hard on myself for not living up to being more selfless, patient, good, etc. A 3 fixer or a 4 fixer doesn't think this way. But yes, I am hard on myself for my mistakes and beat myself up for them on a regular basis (a friendship falls apart through no fault of my own? It must be my fault :P). I get lost in an inner vortex of what my perceived bad behavior says about my inner state of being and what kind of a person it makes me.

Do not recommend.

Let's see, tert Te. Well, I really have no problem whatsoever changing a plan and going with something else -- the perks of being a Ne-dom. I just look at what is available or what isn't working and go a different way. I use Te pretty confidently and casually most of the time, but I do get stressed at work where I have to be more exact, scheduled, and I can very easily get "overwhelmed" and not know what to work on first. I WANT to organize myself for efficiency, but it takes me a little time to figure out what task to do in what order, which would be the most efficient use of my time and energy. That's why I read so many "useful" books (I read way more of those than novels these days) -- books that tell me how to prioritize tasks, that tell me how to organize my kitchen shelves, that tell me how to do things, how to stop procrastinating, how to make the most of my time, etc. I don't remember half of it, but I can usually pick up one or two useful things and go with it. Like you, I'm not super confident in setting prices and I often think they are too high unless I compare them to what other people are offering; I think part of that is being a feeler (can they afford this?) and part of it is being a little unsure of myself.

I can explain a little bit of something I did recently that might help you to see what I "go through" on a daily basis -- as you know, I'm working on a MBTI book. I started out writing it chronologically and then halfway into a couple of profiles, I thought -- this is stupid. What I need to do is write an extensive overview of each dominant function, then take that information and change it in the context of each place it appears in a functional stack. For example, write up a long profile on Ni-dom, then how it looks under Te and Fe, then how it looks under Se, and finally, how it acts in an inferior position. This streamlined my process and helped me finish the first draft in only a few weeks -- but I did not think of it "before" I started the project, I figured it out WHILE I was working on the project and felt that my process was moving along too slow. That's how I have to use Te -- I need to get in and try things with Ne, and then bring in Te to balance it out, help me decide what order to do things in, and make decisions about quality, content, etc. Te is kind of automatic for me -- when a friend says, "I am going to buy a house," instantly I think -- is this person a good financial investment for a bank loan? But the actual implementation of Te (step by step procedures, goals, plans, etc) is harder for me, especially when it becomes tedious. It's way more fun to organize my DVD collection than to take care of my taxes. :P

[jamestrmtx]

Fairytale Complex - [Undertale | Sans x Reader]

[Gender Neutral, Frisk's Parent Reader | Slow Burn]

Chapter Thirteen | Waterfall (Part 2 of 4)

[First] | [Previous] | [Next]

You keep repeating to yourself this is nothing but a simple and friendly outing, though it's easy to forget with how insistent Frisk and Undyne have been in terms of suggesting the opposite.

The feeling's made worse when you get down from the ride and see how grand and overwhelming the place you've been invited to is. In comparison to the warm and calm ambiance of a regular bakery or a small coffee shop, you're met with people clad in semiformal outfits and a refined atmosphere -- similar to that of a five-star restaurant. What reminds you this is just a place for eating desserts is being greeted at the front by a humbler-dressed, white-furred rabbit monster labeling himself as the second owner of the shop, the name 'Roger' spelled out on his name tag. He greets you and Sans in, and offers you a pamphlet.

"I remember you," he says, facing Sans with a smile. "You're from Snowdin, aren't you? It's nice to see you've found a date up here!" The excitement in his tone warns he's about to ramble. "It's so refreshing to see other people like us! Honestly, we… We made this shop hoping more would show up, but you two are the second couple I've had the knowledge of serving here so far!"

"Like us?" you ask, facing the monster. "Is your partner human?" 

"Yes!" he takes your hand while his nose twitches with pent-up energy. "People always come here talking a little, well... mean about it, so I always have to stay on-watch. The first couple that came here got scared off by one of those customers, but now my girlfriend makes sure to keep an eye out!" He lets go, apologizing after. "I get too excited every time I see pairs like you walk in together, but they always tell me they're just friends! And while I get that, really it's... It's such a joy to have you guys here!"

"We're actually not-"

"I get what you mean." In the spur of the moment, you interrupt Sans when he tries to say the truth. Roger's excitement is too bright to rain on, resulting in you wanting to play along. With how he is, you're sure the skeleton's not going to let you live it down, but one look at the hope in the other monster's eyes is enough to make your heart turn to mush. "This is actually our first date, but we're getting there."

Roger smiles, though it soon fades as he looks at the approaching line of customers from afar. Then, he looks to the shop to see the ones who entered in before you have already sat down. "Sorry for holding you back so much," he adds, huffing as an apologetic look makes its way through. "I try really hard not to get too excited about this kind of stuff, but again... It's so nice to have you guys here!" He points over to the counter, smile reappearing. "Go ahead and stop by the counter, alright? You can order to-go, or sit down, if you want to stay!"

"Thank you," you reply, returning his smile. 

You make way into the shop with Sans by your side, avoiding eye contact all the way to the counter. You already know he has a comment on the ready, so it's not much of a surprise when you hear him speak up right before making it there. "So," he says, chuckling. "First date, huh?" He walks a little closer to your side, trying to get you to look at him, but failing. "...Was that meant as a lie, or are you hintin' at somethin' else there, pal?"

"I'm not sure what to think of this myself, but…" You stop halfway, not wanting to admit your own wants just yet. "In the end, I only did it 'cause I couldn't bring myself to get his hopes down." A pink-furred bunnywoman takes your order. The reply you'd given Sans by text is then worded out by him, along with his own order and Frisk's favourite dessert to-go. While you have your wallet close by, you're not told to pay yet, and are instead led to an empty table, where you're both left to wait. You thank the monster as she leaves and go back to your conversation with Sans as soon as she's gone from your sight. "But even if this was a date, I still don't think I'd be able to accept having another one after today's."

At that, his curiosity rises, shown by the subtle flicker in his irises. "What do you mean?"

You avoid his gaze by toying with the cutlery left on the table. "I need to focus more on raising Frisk before going anywhere with my love life."

"Why?" There's honest confusion in his question despite how blunt and intrusive it is without any proper context, something he catches onto by using another one to elaborate his meaning better. "So you haven't dated anyone ever since that day?"

You nod while thanking a waiter, this one a brown bear dressed in more formal wear; he sets two drinks down -- one for you and one for your company. "I haven't, and to be honest I'd…" Your chest feels tight as so does your throat, both of these almost trying to distract you away from what you're about to say. "I'd like to keep it that way for as long as it's needed." You try to stop yourself from saying anything else, though the coziness of the shop and Sans's presence give you an entry for letting out what's been kept hidden for as long as that day came around. "I need to be there for Frisk, and I need to be more careful of who I date from now on." You're not sure what else's making you open up so much, but you don't exactly stop yourself from continuing with your thoughts. "You see, I… I really don't want Frisk to grow up in an environment full of constant fights and disagreements." 

As soon as you catch yourself, your brain makes a stop, yet your mouth continues to pour out what's making your heart strain as much as it is currently. "There's already enough of that in the world waiting out there for Frisk when they grow up, so the least I can do is make it a little easier for them right now." Your mind hates you at this point, though you can feel the rest of your body grow lighter, tension releasing itself from it. "That's why… why I didn't really try to stop Jerry when he started to drift away; when visits became just once a month, rather than twice a week. We didn't really get along well after we (had/adopted) Frisk, so that's why… That's why I figured it was best to let him go."

When you hear your voice turn weak, you stop, mind sending endless comments of disapproval into your thoughts. You flinch when you have a napkin offered out to you, but you take it when you see Sans nod, still waiting for you. He then pulls back quickly, still avoiding your touch. "So, what I'm gettin' at here's that you feel just as responsible as Frisk did over what happened that day," he says, voice low and tone solemn. "Or at least, that's what it looks like."

Sans stops and looks behind you. The same waiter from before appears next to you and places your dessert first and later his; once more, you thank him and wait until he leaves the table. When he's gone, your companion speaks up again, setting the plate aside to focus on you more. "Don't wanna assume things right off the bat, but…" He takes a pause, picks up a fork, and pierces it through the pastry. Then, he faces you, continuing with, "You kinda feel like you've gotta make up for that? Limiting yourself that much ain't really the best option there is, though."

You hum, face away, and pick up a portion off your dessert to distract yourself from him. "I just don't trust myself enough to make the right decision again." You take the first bite; the sweet's flavour helps you with the situation. 

The harmony of cutlery clicking and outside chatter blend into the background as your conversation with him carries on. While you listen, you take another bite off your dessert to make matters less tense. "Y'know, if this helps, most of us think you did a good job raising the kid." He stops again and brings the cup closer to him. "If you look at it this way, you helped with lettin' 'em make their own choices and decide how to approach monsters back then. In a sense, we're all connected one way or the other -- kinda like how you start off as their teacher, and then take them to an actual school where they'll continue to grow as a person." He sways the drink around and looks down at it for a moment. "And even if it's possible for a kid their age to start shapin' their own mindset and decide what's good, what's alright, and what's not, most of it's still based off what they've been taught so far. They're not fully in control of who they are yet, and that's why it's often a huge responsibility to take -- parenting, teaching, and all that."

He stops again to take a swing from his drink. The view of his skull contorting to allow him a sip was one surprising to watch the first time you saw him and Papyrus eating some of Toriel's vegetable stew the day of the blackout, and even more intriguing the time you invited him over for a meal after finishing with your errands at the school supply. Now that you're seeing it for a third time though, you focus far too much on it, yet you try to brush it off and pay more attention to him. There's plenty of questions present in regard to how monsters worked the way they did -- each different in their own way, given how many types there are -- but you're not quite sure if it would be proper to bring them out so suddenly right now.

"Basically," he continues, setting the drink down. "When you're at that young of an age, you don't have a full understanding of who you are, and that's why it's so important for lil' kids to have good, or at least decent examples for them to follow." He faces you. How direct his gaze feels makes you look away, feeling embarrassment burn your face. "And so pretty much based on how Frisk acted during their time at the Underground, I can tell they've been raised well." His gaze drifts off behind you again, though there's a different look to it this time. In contrast to the one he'd given earlier to acknowledge the waiter's arrival, there's caution present in his irises. "What I'm sayin' here is: you're a good parent, (Y/N). And if you feel like you have to restrain yourself from livin' life, you really shouldn't. You're-"

"Hey, Kevin," a man says, voice coming from behind you. "What did the skeleton say to the hog?" 

The strangeness behind his gaze makes more sense now; the voice that sounds from behind you's far too annoying for it not to belong to trouble.

You hear laughter and another voice reply with, "I don't know, Brayan. What?"

Brayan fakes a swoon and attempts to mimic what you can only assume is Sans's voice, saying, "Oh, you're the exact opposite of me -- all fat and no bones. What a catch!"

More laughter.

"Wait, wait," Kevin says, voice now heard from closer by. "I've- I've gotta good follow-up to that one." Even more obnoxious laughter's heard from him, and a not-so adorable snort comes from Brayan. "I might be fat, but you're the real pig here -- liking me only because of those weird tastes of yours!"

"What's bothering you, mi chicharrón*? You're my type. I'm only saying the truth!

"And I'm done with you, you bonehead!"

One of the two men emerge next to Sans and attempts to push him off his chair to follow-up to their impromptu play, with enough flamboyance and sass to make Shakespeare proud.

You step in, grabbing by the arm who you assume's Kevin and keeping him from finishing his joke. He freezes, though he soon recovers, a grin replacing his surprise. "Hey look, Brayan," he calls out. "Piggy's all angry now!"

Done too quick for you to react, you feel something cold pour over your chest and look to your left to see Brayan with a grin on his face and with an empty glass left on his hand. "Cool off," he says, laughing. 

Before you can process it, something trips his feet and sends his donkey to the ground. 

Both your drink and the skeleton's end up thrown on him as a familiar blue aura surrounds both of the glasses. 

"Wh- What the hell, man?" he shouts, flustered. "Who did that?!"

The human owner of the establishment appears right behind him and brings him into an arm lock. She's just as formally dressed as the bear waiter; a long red dress matches with her lipstick and does the opposite with her light skin and bright ginger hair. The name ‘Jessica’ is spelled neatly on her name tag. "Sounds to me like you're the one who needs to cool off first," she says, pulling him to his feet. Her teeth are clenched and a frown shapes her mouth. "Tell your friend he needs to follow me if he doesn't want the same treatment." She drags both men along with her, leaving you alone with Sans -- plus an audience too big for your liking. 

The brown bear makes his appearance again. A mess of apologies exit his mouth as he rushes over with two new drinks and a towel hung over his shoulder. Sans helps him by taking the latter and approaching your side.

"You okay?" he asks. Carefully, he sets the towel over you, hands moving stiff and awkward when he tries to wrap it around your torso. You bite back a smile at that, his current reticence helping you forget about Brayan and Kevin's actions. Even with how daring he was while flirting, he was inevitably trying his best not to cross unwanted lines with you. "Was it hot?"

Stop.

That word repeats itself over and over in your mind as you use the towel to pull him closer to you, his hands still holding onto it. You take them, let him hold onto your waist, and allow your smile to shine through, heart pounding all the while. "No," you reply, grinning. "But you worrying about me kinda is." You kiss his cheekbone, murmuring a 'thank you, Sans' close to his ear cavity.

The crowd goes wild, whistles and woots being let out as you keep your lips there for a moment, right until you feel his skull turn hot to the touch. When you pull back, his irises are wide, jumpy, and bright, these trying their best to look away from you. He lets go of the towel, steps back, and sits down on his chair while the crowd settles out.

"Uh..." he mutters, short of breath. "No problem, (Y/N)."

[First] | [Previous] | [Next]

• • •

*mi (my) chicharrón = Fried pork belly or rinds; a pork dish/snack originating from Hispanic countries.

In this case, it's used as a nickname, like honey, sugar, dear, and all that!

• • •

Tag List (Comment or message me if you want to be added to [or removed from] it!)

@the-simp-express

@nektotersh

@disastrous-l0vebug

@therealchickenjoe

@mintyflakes025

@pandaquick

@timelock97

@candle-creeps

[snarksandkisses]

What I think about COVID-19 this morning - Malia Jones, PhD, MPH

What I think about COVID-19 this morning

March 5, 2020

 Maybe I'm the closest thing you personally know to an infectious disease epidemiologist. Maybe not--I'm not an expert on this virus by any stretch, but I have general knowledge and training from studying epidemics that is applicable, so here are my thoughts. 

 First and foremost: we are going to see a tremendous increase in the number of US cases of COVID-19 in the next week. This is not because of some new pattern in the spread of the disease, but rather due to a major change in the requirements to be tested. Until yesterday, if you had flulike illness but had not recently traveled to China, Italy, South Korea, or Iran, you could not be tested. This is just the way healthcare works, you get tested if you meet the case definition and the case definition included travel.

 As of yesterday, you can be tested if you are sick and have a doctor's order to be tested. So expect things to feel a lot more panicky all of a sudden. We will see hundreds or thousands of new cases as a result of testing increases.

 Second: is that panic legitimate? Sort of. This is not the zombie apocalypse. The death rate of 30 deaths per 1000 cases is probably a wild overestimate. (The denominator is almost certainly wrong because it is confirmed cases--and we only confirm cases when we test for them). That said, even at 3 per 1000 cases, this would be a big deal. A very big deal. By way of comparison, the death rate for influenza is between 1 and 2 in 1000 cases. So, yeah. Roughly 0x to 30x worse than a huge global flu pandemic? That's a problem.

 Unlike flu, COVID-19 is not *particularly* dangerous for children, so that’s some happy news. It is dangerous for older adults and those with lung conditions, so we need to be extra careful to protect those populations from exposure. 

Also, for millions of Americans, getting any serious illness requiring a hospitalization is a major problem because they can't pay for it. And our health care system is probably going to struggle to keep up with it all. And with China basically closed, our global economy is going to take a huge hit and we'll feel the shockwaves for years. Those are real concerns.

 What can we do? Our focus should be on *slowing down the spread* of this disease so that we have time to get caught up. Here is my advice:

 1. Wash. Your. Hands. Wash them so much.

The current best guess is that coronavirus is transmitted via close contact and surface contamination. A very small study came out yesterday suggesting that the virus causing COVID-19 is *mostly* transmitted via contact with contaminated surfaces.

I have started washing my hands each time I enter a new building and after being in shared spaces (classrooms especially), in addition to the standard practice of washing after using the bathroom and before eating. Soap and water. Hand sanitizer also kills this virus, as does rubbing alcohol (the main ingredient in hand sanitizer).

 There is no need to be obsessive about this. Just wash your hands. A little bit more effort here goes a long way. 

 2. Don’t pick your nose. Or put your fingers in your mouth, on your lips, or in your eyes. Surface contact works like this: you touch something dirty. Maybe it's an elevator button. Virus sticks to your hands. Then you rub your eye. Then you touch your sandwich, and put the sandwich in your mouth. Now there is virus in your eyes and mouth. See?

 You may be thinking, but I don’t pick my nose because I am an adult! An observational study found that people sitting at a desk working touched their eyes, nose, or lips between 3 and 50 times per hour. Perfectly normal grown-ups, not lowlifes like my friends.

 2a. There was one note that came out suggesting that face masks actually promote surface contamination because you're always adjusting them--i.e., touching your face. I don’t know if that’s true. But face masks should not be worn by the public right now, unless you are the person who is sick and you're on your way to or actually at the doctor's office. The mask’s function is to prevent spit from flying out of your mouth and landing on things when you cough or sneeze. It flies out of your mouth and is caught in the mask instead. If you are the person who is sick and not on the way to the doctor, go home. Let the people who really need them have the masks. Like doctors.

 [ETA on 3/6/2020 honestly people I am getting so much push back on the mask recommendation!! The world is running low on masks. If everyone wants a mask so they can feel ok about keeping their Daytona Beach Spring Break plans and then hospitals in India can't buy them anymore, shame on us.]

 Coronavirus does not appear to be airborne in the sense that doesn't remain floating around freely in the air for a long time, like measles does. You are probably not going to breathe it in, unless someone is coughing in front of you. If someone is coughing in your face, feel free to tell them to get their ass home and move 6 feet away from them. (Yeah I know, if you have a toddler, you're screwed.)

 3. Sanitize the objects you and lots of other people touch, especially people outside your family--like door handles, shared keyboards at schools (brrr), salad bar tongs, etc. Best guesses are that the virus can live on surfaces for 2-48 hours, maybe even longer, depending on the surface, temperature, and humidity.

 Many common household cleaning products will kill this virus. However, white vinegar solution does not. You can make your own inexpensive antimicrobial spray by mixing 1 part household bleach to 99 parts cold tap water. Spray this on surfaces and leave for 10-30 minutes. Note: this is bleach. It will ruin your sofa.

 4. "Social distancing." You're going to get so sick of this phrase. This means keeping people apart from one another (preferably 6 feet apart, and sanitizing shared objects). This public health strategy is our next line of defense, and its implementation is what will lead to flights and events cancelled, borders closed, and schools closed.

 For now, you could limit face-to-face meetings, especially large ones. Zoom is an excellent videoconferencing option. If you spend time in shared spaces, see #1. Ask your child's school about their hygiene plan, if they haven't already told you what it is. If I were in charge of a school setting, I'd be hand sanitizing the s*** out of the kids' hands, including in and out of each space, and taking temperatures at the door. I am planning to email our school nurse right after this to ask if they need my volunteer help cleaning surfaces.

 If you can telecommute, do that a little more. If you are someone's boss and they could do their job remotely, encourage them to do that. 

 Avoid large gatherings of people if at all possible, especially if they are in an area with cases OR places that lots of people travel to. If you attend group events and start to feel even a little bit sick within 2 to 14 days, you need to self isolate immediately. Like for a tiny tickle in your throat.

 5. All your travel plans are about to get screwed up. If you are considering booking flights right now, get refundable tickets. ETA: most trip insurance will not cover cancellations due to a pandemic. Look for "cancel for any reason" trip insurance. 

 Considerations for risks related to that trip you’re planning: how bad would it be if you got stuck where you are going for 3 to 6 weeks? How bad would it be to be isolated at home for 2-3 weeks upon your return? Do you have direct contact with people who are over 70 and/or have lung conditions? If those seem really bad to you, rethink your trip, especially if it is to a location where there are confirmed cases. 

 6. If you are sick, stay home. Please! For the love of all that is holy. Stay at home. Your contributions to the world are really just not that important.

 7. There is a good chance some communities will see school cancelled and asked to limit non-essential movement. If someone in your family gets sick your family will almost certainly be isolated for 2-3 weeks (asked to stay at home). You could start stocking up with essentials for that scenario, but don't run out and buy a years' worth of toilet paper. Again, not the apocalypse. 2 weeks' worth of essential items. Refill any prescriptions, check your supply of coffee, kitty litter, and jigsaw puzzles.

 8. I do want to remind everyone that when public health works, the result is the least newsworthy thing ever: nothing happens. If this all fizzles out and you start feeling like ‘Wah, all that fuss for nothing??’ Then send a thank-you note to your local department of public health for a job well done. Fingers crossed for that outcome.

 9. Look, I think there are some positives here. All this handwashing could stop flu season in its tracks! We have an opportunity to reduce our global carbon footprint by telecommuting more, flying less, and understanding where our stuff comes from. We can use this to think about the problems with our healthcare system. We can use this to reflect on our positions of privilege and implicit biases. We can start greeting each other using jazz hands. I'm genuinely excited about those opportunities.

 There is a lot we don't yet know about this virus. It didn't even exist 90 days ago. So stay tuned, it is an evolving situation. The WHO website has a decent FAQ. Free to email or text with questions, and you can forward this to others if you think it's useful.

 May the force be with you. 

 Malia Jones, PhD, MPH

maliajones@gmail.com

 I’m an Assistant Scientist in Health Geography at the Applied Population Laboratory at the University of Wisconsin-Madison. I study social contact of humans, and spatial patterns of infectious disease, among other things. 

   P.S. The number one question I am getting is, did you really write this? Yes. I wrote this. 

 I didn't write it for professional purposes, so I didn't put my work email on it. It was really just meant to be an email to my friends and family in advance of what I expect to be an escalation in the panic level. But it was apparently welcome information and went viral on FB. I've decided not to edit out the swears, even though I wrote this with a much smaller audience in mind. 

 Thanks for checking your facts! Go science!