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deadcactuswalking · 1 year

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REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 10/06/2023 (Dave & Central Cee, The Weeknd/Madonna/Playboi Carti, Metro Boomin’s ‘Spider-Verse’ OST)

Content warning: Incest?

It’s Dave’s third, and Central Cee’s first: their massive collaboration “Sprinter” debuts at #1 on top of the UK Singles Chart, and with a four-song EP, the two have definitely shaken things up, so welcome back to REVIEWING THE CHARTS!

Rundown

We have a bit of a hectic week to cover this episode, so it’s of no surprise that we ended up with tons of notable dropouts, those being songs that exit the UK Top 75 - which is what I cover - after five weeks in the region or a peak in the top 40. This week’s hefty list includes Eurovision hits like “Queen of Kings” by Alessandra, “Cha Cha Cha” by Kaarija and… Ed Sheeran hits like “Life Goes On” and “Curtains”. Otherwise, we say farewell to “Tony Soprano 2” by Nines, “Princess Diana” by Ice Spice and Nicki Minaj, “Snow on the Beach” by Taylor Swift featuring Lana Del Rey, “What’s Love Got to Do with It” by Tina Turner, “Sure Thing” by Miguel, “Forget Me” by Lewis Capaldi and “I Ain’t Worried” by OneRepublic.

As for what’s filling in the gaps, “Anti-Hero” by Taylor Swift is our only re-entry at #49, but our notable gains include boosts for “Relax My Eyes” by ANOTR and Abel Balder at #58, “UNHEALTHY” by Anne-Marie featuring Shania Twain at #48, “TMO (Turn Me On)” by Luude and Bru-C featuring Kevin Lyttle at #45 - definitely not complaining about those three - alongside some I’m not as pleased about, like “Area Codes” by Kali at #39, “Talibans” by Byron Messia at #37 and “Side Effects” by Becky Hill and Lewis Thompson at #35, though at least “Little Things” by Jorja Smith is up to #28, and “Good Love” by Hannah Laing and RoRo is big off of the debut up to #22. We also see Dua Lipa’s “Dance the Night” gain up to #13 and “Padam Padam” by Kylie Minogue at #12, both just missing the top 10, whilst “Dancing is Healing” by Rudimental, Vibe Chemistry and Charlotte Plank enters the top 10 at #8, becoming the first for Vibe Chemistry or Plank but Rudimental’s fifth; their first in five years since 2018’s “These Days” with Jess Glynne, Macklemore and Dan Caplen. It’s a shame that this new top 10 hit isn’t all that good, but what can you do?

The top five on this week’s UK Singles Chart consists of “Daylight” by David Kushner at #5, “REACT” by Switch Disco and Ella Henderson featuring the late Robert Miles at #4, “Giving Me” by Jazzy at #3, “Miracle” by Calvin Harris and Ellie Goulding at #2 and of course, “Sprinter” at the very top, which we’ll get to later as part of our muddled batch of this week’s new entries, which we’ll start now.

NEW ARRIVALS

#70 - “Give it to Me” - Matt Sassari

Produced by Timbaland, Danja and Matt Sassari

If this week is defined by anything, it’s that we have songs by the duo of Dave and Central Cee, songs produced by Metro Boomin and a bunch of loosies that fall into neither of the categories. This song, more known for its “Full Vocal Mix” that halves its length yet has around 100 more million streams, is by French DJ Matt Sassari, and is essentially a remix of Timbaland’s 2007 hit of the same name with Justin Timberlake and Nelly Furtado that was a #1 hit in both the UK and US. The original is a fascinatingly bitter takedown from the trio onto… pretty much anyone who they didn’t like, whether that be Janet Jackson, Fergie, Prince or Scott Storch - yeah, they hit some pretty big names here, and it’s one of those diss tracks that feels a bit more petty than it does deserved… though honestly, I don’t find that much of a problem given how the Timbaland solo albums are mostly celebrity showcases anyway so it makes sense to stain them with gossip. With that said, I don’t like the original that much, as whilst it’s got the classic buzzing synth bass and heavily percussive groove of Timbaland tracks, it also has some of Nelly Furtado’s weakest and most awkward performances, especially in her verse, and the vocal melody all three of them go for in the verses is sing-songy and bitter to the point where Nelly sounds completely confused, Justin sounds punchable and Timbaland just sounds funny… which means he at least has the most charming performance. Given the club-based lyrics, it makes sense for a house remix but I do feel it’s a tad awkward, especially with how disjointed the new house beat ends up feeling with the original song’s vocals, which whilst being effectively chopped up, don’t really provide any sensible alternative to this just being an instrumental, and said instrumental would be pretty cheap-sounding and boring with its typical slap house synths that cloud up into a whole lot of nothingness. If not lazy, it’s empty - so it definitely makes sense that they shortened it to not even two minutes, got rid of the instrumental and replaced it with the original verses, excluding Nelly’s, which is a welcome decision but with every Timbaland-produced track, you could tell how involved he was in ensuring everything made perfect sense and worked together. He was a star-producer for a reason, and adding his work onto some distantly made slap house beat does no justice for the original track, even if I’m not a fan.

#68 - “HEATED” - Beyoncé

Produced by Beyoncé, Sevn Thomas, Neenyo, Jahaan Sweet, Boi-1da, Cadenza, Kelman Duran, Stuart White and Harry Edwards

There are four and a half minutes of runtime on this track, and double the amount of producers… yet you can definitely tell where they’re all coming from. Sure, this is not my favourite track from RENAISSANCE, but there are so many layers to this at any point in time: the liquid-smooth acoustic guitars, the weirdly intense Afrobeats percussion, the distant distorted chanting under several different layers and harmonies of Beyoncé providing great vocals as always. Sure, there’s only one real verse, but this is the “vibiest” song on the album, coasting off personality in an actually endearing way, mostly because Bey is full of charisma and whilst the song is mostly about how only a real man can handle the unique, powerful woman that is Beyoncé, there are some nice nods to how she came up - with her subtly paying tribute to her uncle Jonny in the pre-chorus - and the completely insane outro of liberation and aggression that ends the song with the mantra that had been in the back of the mix the whole time. Like most of RENAISSANCE, it’s just a great, slickly-produced and cleverly-composed track with a lot of attention to detail - why it’s coming back now I have no idea, but it may have something to do with the leaked Drake reference track. I honestly wouldn’t have minded him on the final track, mostly because a song about being uniquely powerful makes a lot of sense for both Bey and Drake, but it’s not like he brings all that much personality to the table, so the solo version works just as fine.

#63 - “bread & butter” - Gunna

Produced by Turbo, Omar Grand and Cam Griffin

I could not care less about if Gunna “snitched” or not - it seems that he took a plea deal, which is normal and common in the legal system, and Gunna’s relationship with his friends is of no interest to me, or any white boy on Twitter who thinks they have an eye on the streets. I did expect a comeback single when he was freed, but I didn’t expect it to honestly go this hard and be so connected to the story at hand. First of all, the R&B synths sound warm and the bass is surprisingly fuzzy and dynamic for a trap beat. More importantly, Gunna maintains his hustle, dissing Lil Baby for his perceived hypocrisy as he apparently still associates with “rats”. It’s a shame to see that duo dissolve, but the melancholy flow Gunna keeps with for most of this song is pretty defiant though it shows a level of sorrow and guilt considering how he becomes so paranoid and arguably allows his flow to become quite wonky in that second verse, mentioning how many have wronged him, his addiction to prescription pills and most interestingly how he feels that he fell for a manipulation of the legal system, which isn’t exactly hard for me to believe. Ultimately, this is not a great song - it runs a little long and Gunna is still not a dynamic vocalist, even if the melody gives his bars an internal sadness that interests me about where he could possibly go next, perhaps for more vulnerable lyrics down the line. I mean, it would be interesting to hear from Gunna of all people, but I don’t think I wanted it to have to come about like this.

#60 - “Closer” - Bou featuring Slay

Produced by Bou

Okay, for once, I think we need to stop thinking about the “Children”. Bou’s recent drum and bass hit is yet another flip of the late Robert Miles’ trance classic that hit #2 in 1996, and it definitely feels overdone, especially since the piano sound here Is particularly cheap, and the build-up is so liquidy it’s practically slime, which isn’t worth it since the drum and bass break is tacky and the bass is straight-up ugly, with the borderline off-key 808 clipping in the mix. Slay is a BTEC Bru-C who just repeats the chorus for half of the song until he actually gets into a verse, which for whatever reason is set to the back of the mix with a bunch of reverb, so it sounds like a completely disjointed song. Slay can barely flow and sounds completely out of it, so everybody here is amateur hour. Next.

#59 - “Annihilate” (Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse) - Metro Boomin, Swae Lee, Lil Wayne and Offset

Produced by Metro Boomin, MIKE DEAN and Prince 85

I’ve heard really great things about Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse, and I do feel it is one of those superhero films you can enjoy without any prior knowledge of superhero films, and whilst I’m a fan of animation, so it’s probably necessary to watch it at some point, I don’t really have any interest in it, especially not after listening to the soundtrack, which feels as watered down as it could possibly be before it isn’t even recognisable as Metro Boomin production. What’s much more prominent are the flamboyant MIKE DEAN synths which make complete sense amidst all of the pop-music melodrama Swae Lee brings to the table, and honestly even Lil Wayne’s pretty great verse wherein he gives all the spider lines he must have been saving up for this groove-less trap beat. Offset on the other hand is embarrassingly basic, and Swae Lee has a verse for whatever reason that just makes the song drag on for no reason, especially since it’s a motivational song so if you’re not feeling it in the first hook, you won’t feel anything else. I get the appeal, but I’m not a fan… yet we have more Metro Boomin-Swae Lee Spider-Man tracks next week, except replacing the guests that are actually talented with, well…

#56 - “Calling” (Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse) - Metro Boomin, Swae Lee and NAV featuring A Boogie wit da Hoodie

Produced by Metro Boomin, Chris Townsend and johan lenox

NAV. He replaced them with NAV. To be fair, A Boogie is here too, but this is mostly the Swae Lee affair once again, with a liquid guitar line and an incredibly basic trap beat relying on pianos and occasional sound effects to make it sound in any way unique to Metro or the soundtrack. NAV is dour, also saying he isn’t materialistic, because anybody is believing that, and the rest of this is a love song. Great. Naturally, most of them sell it through the idea of giving them a bunch of luxury items, as well as generic platitudes that don’t paint an actual picture, with Swae Lee relying on superhero tropes again. I quite like A Boogie here, with a particularly dynamic, ever-changing flow and particularly honest, kind of cute delivery that has slightly more reciprocal lyrics as well as a great moment where the strings come in at the end of his verse, and he sounds great over them. That verse doesn’t save the song entirely though, especially due to the overlong instrumental outro that just fades out... and without any Spider-Man vore, unfortunately. We’ll be back to your feature film presentation after these brief messages.

#52 - “Sittin’ on Top of the World” - Burna Boy

Produced by Skread

So, in 1998, Brandy Norwood released “Top of the World”, featuring the laidback, effortless rap of Ma$e and the hit-making grooves of Rodney “Darkchild” Jerkins. It’s fine. The production actually feels very underwhelming, and the conceit of the song isn’t exactly fascinating, especially with a just-okay Brandy performance, two tacked-on Ma$e verses and a post-chorus that hasn’t aged particularly well - not because it’s problematic or anything but because it sounds very jerky and missing the fine tuning that probably would exist with that kind of vocal stutter and refrain nowadays. To be fair, the strings in the bridge are great, but the song isn’t overall, and it stalled at #2 behind B*Witched… okay, so the song was at least better than that song, and I’ll admit that it’s funny to hear Brandy ask Ma$e to slow down because he’s “killin’ ‘em” considering Ma$e is one of the most - purposefully - boring rappers of all time. Is Burna Boy’s remake an improvement? Well, I say yes, actually, with a fatter bass groove than the original, and a clever interaction with the sample, which is pitch-shifted and both interrupts and completes Burna Boy’s self-liberating chorus. Sure, that vocal stutter still doesn’t sound great, but it’s more well-integrated with the blended production here, and Burna Boy’s rich voice definitely helps further how catchy and honestly just kind of cute this song is, with the wormy synth by the end sealing the deal. Mediocre sample ends up producing pretty good song. Who knew?

#51 - “Am I Dreaming” - Metro Boomin, A$AP Rocky and Roisee

Produced by Metro Boomin, MIKE DEAN, Peter Lee Johnson and Scriptplugg

Our third and final track from the soundtrack is the only good one here, and yes, I’m saying that because A$AP Rocky is on it. Let’s just say I’m a fan. Seriously though, there are other factors here, mostly the whole early-2010s pop vibe it has going on, though a bit less compressed than those tracks were. The strings sound excellent and actually make this feel like a superhero anthem, especially when Roisee’s hook lines up perfectly with it, amidst the buzzing bass synths, and whilst I think that hook may be repeated a bit too much, she actually sells the motivational angle, partly because of how distorted her vocals end up sounding, indicating a filter that’s actually an obstacle between her and her dreams, whilst the rest of these tracks are complete fantasies. Similarly, Rocky mentions waking up feeling thankful for everything that’s been granted to him, and remembering how far he’s come from his impoverished childhood, even mentioning that because of the disparity he saw, he ends up ensuring his poorer friends hang out with his wealthier friends… which is not how that should work but I don’t care when he’s flowing this effortlessly, and the drums are so busy during his verse, it’s impossible not to have at least a little fun with it. I do wish Rocky was on the rest of this, but Roisee’s vocals are great, even if she doesn’t really go for an alternate melody at any point, meaning it feels a bit exhausting to try and split the chorus and verses from each other. Even if Rocky’s a non-presence for the rest of the track, MIKE DEAN is definitely here decorating the track with all his favourite synth patterns. Speaking of, even if it’s our last from him as a lead artist, Metro - and MIKE DEAN for that matter - still have yet another track debuting this week, that being…

#21 - “Popular” - The Weeknd, Playboi Carti and Madonna

Produced by Metro Boomin, MIKE DEAN and The Weeknd

Yes, this sounds bizarre on principle. The Weeknd and Madonna makes some sense considering the over-the-top pop icon status they both display, as well as both singers’ obsession with modal eras, but Playboi Carti? Well, it makes more sense when you consider Madonna was intended to be on the song firstly, and secondly, Carti’s only contributions are baby-voiced ad-libs in the post-chorus. In fact, let’s get him out of the way - he’s mixed horribly, doesn’t need to be here, sounds like he’s been sped-up and awkwardly placed in and his parts feel double the length of any actually decent elements the song brings to the table, which is a shame because this is actually a fantastic song, perfectly fit for soundtrack of The Weeknd’s HBO series The Idol not only due to its lyrics about being desperate for stardom but also with the campness of it, not pretending to be cool like any of the Spider-Verse cuts. Instead, we get Madonna’s silly spoken-word monologue over thematic synths and Metro’s drums doing their best Timbaland impression in this very 2000s funky dance-pop production. I’m pretty sure the song is about the series’ characters in some way, but I care very little about that so I’m just interested in the constant hooks exploding from everywhere, whether it be the sneaky keys, Abel’s constant grunting in the verses, the infectious “oh-oh” refrain in the pre-chorus, and of course, that impeccable chorus, whether it be the synths jabbing in and out or the catchy refrain Abel croons out. Madonna, unsurprisingly, gives not a fantastic performance but one very much within the realm of what she needed to do, as keeping it a tad more subtle was probably for the best to avoid this becoming a completely incoherent track. The cute laughs added in the bridge is a nice touch too, it does sound like this could have very well been a prime Madonna track… except you know, with The Weeknd replaced by Prince and Playboi Carti a complete non-presence. Please make a version without him, Abel, it’s the only thing that’s preventing this from being an excellent song - and you know, maybe add a bridge or synth solo in his place. Please?

#17 - “UK Rap” - Dave and Central Cee

Produced by Kyle Evans

Okay, so one thing I’ve noticed is a trend across all of our new arrivals this week: the lyrics are not interesting. If you run through them, they’re mostly either generic for no reason and as a result just uninteresting or generic because they’re soundtrack singles, with “Give it to Me” being a remix so the lyrics can’t really be totalled up there even if they are a bit more interesting. Apart from “bread & butter” and maybe “HEATED”, these three songs from Dave and Cench, all from their four-song EP Split Decision will be our only chance for some depth or at least comedy this week, since Dave is a conscious rapper and well, let’s just say Central Cee is never afraid to elaborate. Apart from the only track on the EP that didn’t chart, it’s pretty low-stakes for Dave and a comeback to making actually good music for Cench, so I’ll try and make these last three pretty quick and light-hearted. “UK Rap” is a slightly condescending nod to how British hip hop is under-represented, with Cench knowing a girl who only listens to the two most famous British rappers - guess who - and otherwise only bumps Americans in the car. Kyle Evans provides a decent enough drill beat, even if I’d want it to be a bit more fluid with the 808s and it seems a tad too intimidating for a song that’s mostly comical in its lyrical content about this… underwhelming relationship. Cench actually goes for some wordplay as well as having a pretty confident delivery, and mostly does alright. Dave… well, his verse is just as comical, and I had to stop and replay the song after I laughed over the bars that followed him randomly dropping in his pontification about asking for feet pics. The verse honestly continues to be pretty great, as Dave has an attention to detail in his bars, with a great conversational flow, slick wordplay about Rudimental and a great fluid flow that runs all over the beat and makes it sound so much better than it actually is. Oh, and we get a Nelly Furtado mention here, which would be a book-end if this were the single.

#14 - “Trojan Horse” - Dave and Central Cee

Produced by Dave

This sample is incredible. The strings from the Warsaw Philharmonic Orchestra are beautiful, and they’re chopped up in a pretty awkward way on first listen but as soon as the trickling drill hi-hats come in, it all makes sense, and the bass also sounds weird first listen… but the juicy tone of it makes it sound a lot bouncier, which works for them trading bars and creates a really unique version of a drill beat. As for the bars here, Dave and Cench talk about gang violence and paranoia, that even gives him trauma when his girl puts him in cuffs, as well as a lot of flexing and girl talk as you’d expect. Apart from wanting to have sex with his step-sister, it’s a nice touch that instead of cutting out the beat when Cench says he doesn’t need a beat (because he’s “too vocal”), Dave instead gets rid of the strings sample, so that when he comes back for his verse, he can lead another one in that’s a bit more interesting and screechier than the last, keeping the beat a lot more interesting, as well as allowing the main strings loop to feel like a refrain, that fits due to the nostalgic feel of it. Dave’s rhyme schemes are satisfying and whilst I’d appreciate a bit more interplay, they have enough chemistry in that they’ll share similar rhyme schemes or content themes between verses. Dave definitely shows up Cench - as expected - in terms of pure bars, but as a result it almost feels relaxing whenever Cench comes back In, which is actually the opposite for the third and final track from the two debuting today:

#1 - “Sprinter” - Dave and Central Cee

Produced by Jo Caleb, Jonny Leslie, Dave, Jim Legxacy, Kyle Evans and TR the Producer

The big hit from the EP is actually pretty much a Central Cee showcase, as the one track on this EP where he really shines ends up getting the single and video push. I’m glad, too, since first of all, I haven’t heard Cench’s vocals in this high of a fidelity so Dave gave him more of a budget than usual, and he also put him on much more interesting production, with the six producers curating an incredibly energetic, tropical beat bringing highly percussive elements to the drill rhythm, whilst tonally, the song uses acoustic guitars and almost Pharrell-sounding vocal soundbites as well as an incredible use of bass. It’s a lot of flexing and girl talk once again, but there’s actual interplay between the two and Cench is the most infused he’s been in years, whilst Dave is effortless rapping quickly but still with this new conversational cadence I hadn’t heard from Dave until now and it really works a lot better, since his blunter delivery was what prevented me from enjoying some of his music prior. Cench’s second verse is genuinely incredible, as he goes on for way longer than I expected as the beat shifts around him into this beautiful vocal warbling that has enough attention to detail to add the “Maybach Music” tag when it’s referenced. I could probably do without Dave’s second verse, honestly, I feel like the song is kind of out of steam - and breath - by the end of the second chorus, and it ruins the catharsis the song makes me feel from having a return to the hook after Cench’s exhaustingly good verse, but as a misogynist epilogue, I suppose it works, and whilst I do prefer “Miracle”, I’m not mad this is at #1.

Conclusion

It’s getting the Best of the Week too, though you could honestly tie it with “Trojan Horse”, and as for the Honourable Mention, it only feels right to give Beyoncé a nod for “HEATED”, though Gunna was absurdly close. As much as I want to spare Metro Boomin, he did make NAV chart so “Calling” with Swae Lee featuring A Boogie wit da Hoodie ends up as the Dishonourable Mention, with the Worst of the Week easily going to “Closer” by Bou featuring Slay, which I can only hope doesn’t last. As for what’s on the horizon, well, it seems like it may be the true start of Summer on the charts and it seems like the quality for this Summer’s hits are going to stay pretty high, even if the older tracks are a bit too slow in their exits, so I’m excited to see what else is coming. As for now, thank you for reading and I’ll see you next week!

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winterbranded · 4 years

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[ ✮ ]

#✮ || out of cryo.#( i can't believe i made Another rp blog i'm Yelling #I ALSO MADE A BOMB ICON TEMPLATE TO GO W IT I'M ABSOLUTELY LI V I N G #i'm taking screencaps on and off rn for the new blog but i'm now switching back to replies on here #i also just recently found a way to make gifs of my own??? eYES EMOJI so expect some gifsets over on my new blog bc there are Many that #i want to make bC HERE'S NOT A LOT OF CONTENT FOR TR.ON OUT THERE SO I'M MAKING SOME ASAP #ALSO FUCKING RANDOM SIDE NOTE I HAVE TO YELL INTO THE VOID: /ALAN LORA AND KEVIN SO BECAME AN OT3 AT THE END OF THE FIRST TR.ON AND #/NO ONE CAN CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE/ KSHBDFKHSFD #just their chemistry as a trio is Off The Charts #i'm now forever mad they didn't have a cameo for lo.ra / yo.ri like wtf sHE WAS SO GOOD????#anyway wow i am just tr.on central #no braincells just tr.on KSHDBFKHSDF )#( alan speaking about kevin to lora: idk wtf u saw in that dude he's Stupid #alan when properly meeting kevin: flushed emoji x1000000 SDBHFKNJLSMDF )#( lora @ alan w a Look: u see what i mean )

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gilbirda · 3 years

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Party like you are dead. Second Act.

It is time for The Everlasting Trio to share their thoughts about the whole thing. Tucker may be stalked by Wes. Sam may be asked her hand in marriage. Danny may have to face an enemy.

Once again I'm not 100% happy with how this turned out, but then I'll just edit in the future. Also, I maaaaaaaaaay have some ideas for a short epilogue or something, but I won't make any promises. Enjoy!

From my series, You and me and our best friend makes three

[Read on AO3][Read on FF.net]

<< Previous Chapter || Next Chapter >>

Second Act

Tucker

Tucker snickered as he watched the situation go down from afar. He decided to step out of this specific part of the clusterfuck, knowing that it would be funnier if they revealed things one by one.

And he was a little bit more than distracting with his full on Pharaoh stuff over his body. This was Danny’s night, the culmination of weeks stressing over every tiny detail and being unable to let Dora and her entourage do their work in peace.

It was also the culmination of years stressing over not letting his secret be known. After his parents found out and he became King, he realized he didn’t have much to fear anymore. The overpowered bastard was now beyond the grasp of any kind of entity or government agency that could go after him (aka the GIW).

And Danny was tired of pretending to be what he was not.

He couldn't begin to understand how it must have been for him to be two different people all this time, to behave differently, to exaggerate some traits and hide others to give the illusion that the goofy, funny and absurdly good person Danny was, had been two different people all along.

As he watched him dance (pitifully, in that armor. He had insisted on wearing it because it looked cool and Sam had enabled him) with their girlfriend, he could see how happy it made him to be whole in front of everyone.

Soon he saw the rest of the humans approach the circle and watch the dancers, some Tucker recognized from school (Mikey, Dale and funny enough, Valerie) and some he didn't. The humans looked so out of place, not only for being alive, but for being dressed as if they were going to a party in Buckingham palace.

Ghosts didn't care that much for appearances - if they wanted to dress up a little it was completely up to them, but humans?

Humans simply assumed that some kind of dress code was installed.

Ha.

The funniest was Sam's mom, Pamela, who had decided to sit down after the Big Reveal™, her husband fanning her face with a napkin. Tucker saw her eyes going back and forth between her daughter, Danny and himself. He waved and smiled, just to be a little shit.

"Who's that, sir?" his bodyguard for the day, Kafele, asked. As far as he knew, he was a warrior or something. He looked so out of place here.

"That's Sam' mom."

"Ohhh, the High Concubine' reverend mother?"

Tucker sighed, but nodded. Yeah. Danny and Sam were, according to his court, his Concubines. Sam was the High Concubine because Danny couldn't, being the freaking Ghost King and everything.

With time he just stopped correcting them.

Not that Sam and Danny didn't get a kick out of the whole situation. And it wasn't like Tucker thought it was funny as hell that Danny's court had accepted Sam and himself as Royal Consorts. Well, at first they scratched their heads a bit when Danny said he had two consorts; but honestly? they were just happy that no one batted an eye that one of Danny's lovers was male.

Who would have thought that ghosts were that progressive?

He snorted and took a sip of his drink, his eyes going back to Sam and Danny. Their physical chemistry was off the charts and it was clear, even from his position at the food and drinks table, that they couldn’t look away from each other. But Tucker already knew that. Did that make him nervous? Insecure? Hell yeah, sometimes. Other times he straight up felt like a third wheel all along, or even the bi-curious addendum of a threesome.

He was being unfair, he knew that, but with time he had accepted that trying to shut up thoughts like these was useless. He better embrace them, process them and speak with his partners about it. Or else he would have his ass kicked via a very heavy steel-toed black boot.

Instead, he tried to turn things around in his head, knowing that all these doubts were just inventions of his insecurities. His friends and partners never did anything, at least on purpose, that gave that impression. The times they did it was more out of not really knowing what the heck they were doing, mixed with having to deal with all the stuff in the GZ, and mixed with him being stupid and deciding to give “space” to his friends and therefore enrolling in computer engineering a year earlier.

(If he was a genius he had to take advantage of it and skip senior year.)

(Which in retrospect was a dick move because Danny needed him. Sam needed him. He just didn’t see it.)

And now, sometimes he kicked himself for missing out on the fun Sam and Danny were having in the Ghost Zone. It stung, but at least they included him in everything and told him afterwards. And Danny had looked genuinely happy when Tucker managed to install wifi and electricity in the castle.

Hell yeah, computer engineering was awesome!

And magic too! Who knew that magic was too similar to science? And that a techno-geek could learn the basics in a few months?

Him. He knew. Because he was awesome.

Gasps in the crowd took him out of his thoughts, his eyes going back to his partners knowing they were doing something to mess with the humans again.

Indeed they were. Tucker rolled his eyes but smiled when he saw Danny kick the floor and start floating up and up into the impossible high ceiling, Sam in his arms. A myriad of tiny blobs of glowing ectoplasm appeared from the cracks in the walls, from behind the tapestries, from under the tables… Shades, small ghosts with simpler minds, that had taken refuge in the King’s Castle and were very attracted to his emotions, like bees to pollen.

Danny told them once that shades didn’t have lairs, so they usually hid in other ghost’s lairs, feeding on the ghost’s emotions and giving back highly concentrated ectoplasm they stored in their bodies, in a somewhat symbiotic way. The stronger the ghost, the more shades they could maintain. His boyfriend loved the little guys and once he settled in the castle he gave open permission of shades to make it their home.

Tucker could barely hear them all chirping and purring as the little shades circled around Danny and Sam, since the speakers started blasting “Super Freak”, and it was a little loud near the food table.

He rolled his eyes at Danny’s song choice. It must have been triggered by something their girlfriend said, judging by her smug expression and Danny’s greenish burning face.

She's a very kinky girl

The kind you don't take home to mother

His eyes went to Pamela and Jeremy Manson, who were watching the spectacle with horrified eyes. Maybe it was the acrobatics Danny did with their daughter in the air, or maybe they were starting to connect every dot and every clue of their past.

When I make my move to her room

It's the right time, she's never hard to please

… Or maybe it was the lyrics. He was paying attention. Tucker saw Jazz grumble something to her drink at the other end of the table, her cheeks pink, so maybe she was as well. If someone else was listening, he just hoped they didn’t see the way Sam took an aerial dancing move that brought her closer to her boyfriend to whisper something in his ear, provoking another flare in his face and making the shades circle faster around them.

Okay, they were being pretty obvious now. C’mon, Danny! He knew that the place literally listened to his every wish and desire, but this was ridiculous. He personally had selected a really nice and neutral playlist to ensure a safe place where they could come out of the ghost closet without any issue; but nooooo, of course mister overpowered stomped all over his careful thinking and was giving not-that-subtle hints via music. Subconscious or not, if “Careless Whisper” started next, he was staging an intervention.

Three's not a crowd to her, she said

Room 714, I'll be waiting

When I get there she's got incense, wine and candles

It's such a freaky scene

He choked on his drink. They had tried the scented candles and wine thing, once! And okay, there were rose petals involved, but those were a pain to clean and got stuck on his skin for far too long. Zero out of ten, not recommended. Also the "wine" had been non-alcoholic champagne. Look, they may have been seventeen, but neither liked alcohol.

“Danny…” he growled, glaring at the dancing pair illuminated by the shades.

“Sir, are you alright?” His assistant, Kissa, moved her eyes from the spectacle to her pharaoh. She was super chill and the level-headed of the pair of sisters that attended him personally. Also she was super smitten with the King but thought she wasn’t that obvious.

“Yeah, yeah.” Kafele gave him a napkin to clean his face. “Couldn’t breathe for a moment.”

The two anubis-headed ghosts turned to glance at him and Tucker knew what they were thinking. His kingdom was waiting with bated breath for him to die. They said that once he left his mortal coil he would ascend and recover his memories from his past life, and would take his place as their pharaoh. Until then, he was some kind of figurehead, with a regent council taking care of everything, like they did when the heir was too young to rule.

Honestly? He was okay with that. He really wanted to finish his degree and maybe mess around with politics, maybe even take on a more involved role in Danny’s castle as his Advisor for a few years. Ghosts were patient and lived forever - they could give him a few decades.

Surprise surprise, a big chunk of his followers didn’t think so, and were plotting to do more than wishing for his death (rude) so he can rule as he was supposed to.

Kafele and Kissa weren’t of those, but they wouldn’t save him from dying if it naturally happened sooner than later.

I guess this is my life now, he thought not for the first time, sighing. This is why he didn’t like to go all Duulaman. He didn’t want to give his subjects hope. And constantly fear they would stab him in the back. Literally.

He looked away to his partners as Danny laughed. The song changed, fortunately to something not that obvious, as the rest of the ghosts floated up to continue dancing with their king after letting the pair of lovebirds have their moment.

On the floor, the humans looked up at the inhuman display. The majority seemed to be fine with it, they were people from Amity and weird shit was common there; but some looked a bit overwhelmed with so many ghosts and revelations for a day. He saw groups approach Maddie and Jack Fenton, talking to them and leaving quietly with them. It was okay, they had expected people wanting to leave early and planned for it.

Movement caught his eye. He turned towards it and found Wes marching in his direction with those intense eyes he reserved for Danny. Until now, that is.

“Foley!”

“And that’s my cue to leave,” Tucker put his cup on the table and almost ran towards the crowds. “Don’t follow me!” he shouted over his back.

The ghosts parted for him when he walked, some recognizing him as the ruler of New Egypt and others murmuring “my Lord”, doing a courtesy to the High King’s Consort. Having overlapping titles was kind of exhausting, since people weren’t sure how to address him.

Who was he kidding. It wasn’t like he didn’t like the attention.

“Danny! Sam!” he called when he knew they would see him. The pair broke their kiss and looked down at him. He crossed his arms, arching an eyebrow.

Sam was chuckling as they floated down. Danny’s ghostly blue skin was tinted green with a blush, as if they were caught by a parent doing something they shouldn’t.

“In my defense, Sam started it.”

He looked at her. “I hope those plans can be postponed until tomorrow.”

“What if they can’t,” the girl smirked, stepping up to the challenge.

“Sam, it’s not fair! You had him for the whole day! It’s my turn with Danny.”

“You can have him after I’m done with him,” she narrowed her eyes.

He growled playfully, leaning in until their noses touched. “Samantha Manson, don’t play with me.”

“Oh, yeah?,” she smiled wider, menacing, showing plenty of white straight teeth. “Or what, pretty boy?”

He tried to hide a shiver. He wasn’t Danny, but he could also appreciate a woman that could crush you under her foot like any other (intelligent) man.

“Calm down, guys. There’s enough Danny for everyone. Inhuman stamina and everything," their boyfriend put a hand on each shoulder, giving a quick peck on the cheek to Sam and then to him. His lips were cold, but his cheeks were warm.

They had decided to go all out about revelations today. Danny had been feral lately, having suddenly decided to come out of all the closets today. "If I get to flaunt my crown around, why can't I show off my cute partners?" he had said. It was like he suddenly gave up secrets and wanted to clear any misunderstanding or silence any suspicion.

I mean, ghosts weren't blind, especially the servants of the castle, who were massive gossipers and had family and friends all over the Realms. Ghosts knew the three were together, but it wasn't official yet, not in the eyes of the ghost law.

Tucker didn't know much about it, but he was assuming that what ghosts were talking about was more on the line of human marriage. Which, too soon, bro. He preferred to lay low, honestly. People knowing they were together together was okay, no problem - it was just… he was only seventeen!

Sam

“Ancients, Danny.” Tucker was blushing hard. The suave persona Danny put on when in Phantom mode always managed to transform their boyfriend into putty.

“I mean it, bro.” Danny said, cupping his face with his hands, leaning in for a kiss.

"Bro…"

She rolled her eyes. The amount of fluff and glitter and mushy feelings those two radiated was absurd. It was sometimes enough to make her upset in the stomach; which she bravely endured for them.

As the lovebirds kissed, she looked around to taste the reactions at this revelation. The ghosts already knew, of course, since gossip, especially juicy gossip like the King’s private life, was spread around faster than the actual orders from Danny. Some of the ghosts she knew cheered, whooping and genuinely happy at their King’s happiness; others continued on with whatever they were doing, not really caring about drama and gossip.

Her eyes searched for the humans, finding the A-listers hurdled at the food table, talking among themselves. Star looked up as if she felt she was being watched, her eyes finding Sam first before they rolled over Danny kissing Tucker at her side. Star’s eyes went wide and she slapped Paulina’s arm to get her attention. The girl turned to see what was going on, freezing when she realized what she was seeing.

Sam waved her hand, just to be a little shit.

On the other side of Paulina, Dash looked a bit green. Kwan, instead, was giving her a thumbs up and a smile.

She nodded and gave a thumbs up too, but didn't know what he was approving her for. It wasn't like she was the one sucking Danny's face right now.

She brushed her hair back, annoyed at the maids' decision of having it be free. At least they compromised on getting her bangs away from her face, but she would rather do a ponytail or a simple braid and be done with it. If she wanted to go over the top like her two idiot boyfriends, she would have done something more dramatic than her normal guard uniform.

She decided to march on and leave the lovebirds under Fright's watchful eye. She was hungry and thirsty after almost the whole day running around to have everything ready and to accompany Danny as he greeted all the ghosts.

You see, this gathering was serving a double purpose - this was the mandatory coronation ball they didn't get to throw (long story), and as a come out party for them as ghosts, or ghost adjacent, and as partners. And so, it was double the effort. Danny had been banned from organizing it, so he of course spent the last week pestering Dora and her army of assistants, maids and helpers. And pestering her.

Fortunately she managed to keep him tired and occupied with constant training and practicing sword fighting together, but the last stretch had been the hardest.

Anyway, she knew he was going to crash hard after this. Her teasing from before was just to get a raise from him, but both knew that the moment everyone left he was going to sleep for twelve hours. At least.

"Hey Sam," she heard Kwan call her from one of the few remaining groups of humans left in the place. Huh, after they got to see their hero and his castle, it seems they weren’t that interested anymore.

Or needed time to think about how a fourteen year old died and gave his life to protect the town.

“Hi.”

“Nice outfit,” the words were awkward in his mouth, but she could see him trying to be nice. Behind him, Dash was frowning. Paulina was eyeing her with clear fear in her eyes. The rest of the A-listers hid behind the trio.

She smirked. “Thanks. Danny ordered a custom for me. And Tucker and the Fentons made some…. Uh, adjustments.” Maybe divulging about these adjustments was a bad idea. Ghosts had keen ears.

“Is he really….” The boy seemed confused. His hands twitching as if he wanted to pat her shoulder in the ‘bro’ way he expressed himself. “Well, the King? How? Why?”

Sam pursed her lips as she put food on her plate. Answering that question would be difficult and not exactly something she should say in a party. Kwan seemed interested, worried, and his furtive looks at the halfa in question told her that the human wasn’t trying to gather information to cause harm. Maybe Kwan was trying to match the Danny he knew with what they learned that day.

Unlike the rest of the A-listers hiding by the table, who looked ready to make a run for it.

“Because it was the right thing to do.”

She wasn’t sure the boy understood the weight on Danny’s shoulders, or any of the humans still in the castle - she couldn’t either, she never pretended to. But still, Kwan made a face between sadness and pity that told her he kind of did.

“Hungry?” The King they were talking about made an appearance, trying to hug her from behind and burying his face in her hair without making so much noise with the armor. She rolled her eyes. Danny was vibrating with so many emotions it was no surprise that some low level shades fell from his flaming hair to start circling around him.

Paulina made a strangled sound, but neither turned to look at her.

“So,” Wes's sudden voice wasn’t angry, but it was accusing. Sam glanced at Tucker, finding him cornered against the food table. “Pharaoh, huh?”

“Yeah, remember the Duulaman incident? Hotep-ra?”

“Their minds were wiped, Tuck,” Danny said over his shoulder before nuzzling Sam’s hair again.

“Huh-uh.” Sam nodded, eating some delicious vegetable sandwich.

“True, true. I forgot. Ha! Forgot.”

Sam groaned at her boyfriend’s weak joke.

“There’s truly no mystery here, Wes. I don’t know what to tell you. I am the reincarnation of a pharaoh and I will rule over New Egypt when I die.”

The warrior (in training) noticed Star, Kwan and Hanna, another satellite, making faces at how easy Tucker talked about his death.

“And you banging the King of the Ghosts doesn’t affect that?” a ghost Sam didn’t recognize, that was obviously listening in the conversation, choked on the ghost wine he was drinking. “Conflict of interest and all of that?”

Valerie cut through the tense silence when she walked right between Wes and Tucker with an empty glass in her hand. Her face was stony, but a twitch in her brow told Sam that the huntress had been listening in on the conversation, too.

“They’ve been banging before that.” She stated in a deadpanned voice. She poured some punch in her glass, took a long sip, and refilled it again before turning and going in her merry way.

“And how do you know that?” was the first thing Sam heard Paulina say after their challenge.

(Which, what a shame. What a shame that the poor girl didn’t get what she had coming.)

Valerie glared at the A-lister with the brunt force of the Red Huntress power.

“Because,” she sipped her drink. It glowed toxic green sometimes, so it was spiked with ghost wine. Huh. “I’ve been trying to hunt Danny since freshman year.” Another sip. “And after I gave up I started fourth-wheeling these fuckers.”

She made a strategic exit before the barely hanging there humans could ask her what she meant. Hannah did a double take between the Ghost King still clinging to her (floating shades and everything), and the ex A-lister. Sam could almost see the gears moving behind her eyes.

Tonight was a night of closets and revelations, huh.

“You don’t look surprised,” everyone turned. Tucker was smiling, like he knew something. “At least about the banging thing.”

“Please stop saying that.”

“Of course,” Wes ignored Sam’s plea, grabbing his phone from his pocket and unlocking it. “Who do you think I am, an amateur?” Finally he found the Gallery app and scrolled towards a folder she didn’t catch the name of, but was full of pictures of them.

“Ohhhh, interesting.” Danny let her go to approach the other two, curious to see the pictures.

Sam walked closer too, at least to check how deep ran the damage of Wes’ stalking.

It was… Well, it could be worse. Much worse.

She saw a picture of the three of them in the Fenton’s backyard, this was super early in their relationship, in gym clothes and apparently doing some martial arts basics training with Danny. The next picture was a little bit embarrassing - of her kissing Danny’s cheek as she gave him a thermos (she remembered this fight, also early in their relationship). The next was of her and Tucker sitting on a bench with Danny’s homework on their laps, arguing about who got to do his homework this time.

(Tucker mimicked his chicken scratch best.)

Then, as the pictures became more recent, Wes caught them easily in more, huh, compromising positions. Tucker pulling down human Danny, who was wearing the simpler version of his kingly regalia, to kiss him deeply. A photo of her trapping Danny in Phantom mode against a wall in a dark alley, his legs around her waist and her hands tangled in his longer locks of white hair, their mouths locked in a passionate kiss.

The most recent was of the three of them cuddling in a park, on a picnic day - she was reading, laying on her stomach; Tucker leaning against her back doing something on his PDA, and Danny in human form sleeping with his head on the geek’s stomach. That one had been a rare quiet day when the chaos post-coronation died down.

“Nice camera, dude! Do you mind sending them to me?” Tuck suddenly had his newest, high tech, probably super expensive phone in his hand, already hacking into Wes’ phone to get the pictures. She hoped he would delete them after that.

“Hey, those are kind of personal moments.”

“Does my hair really look like that from the back?” Danny reached with a gloved hand at the back of his hair, disturbing some shades that fluttered for a bit before resettling between the plates of his armor, probably to phase into his body and set camp there.

Before anyone could comment more on the pictures, a voice rumbled in the throne room turned dance hall.

“Lady Samantha Manson!”

She tensed, as she did when someone said her full name.

She turned as some young looking ghost she didn’t know, but felt kind of familiar, approached her. For a moment she tensed and grabbed her morningstar, ready to defend Danny, but it became clear that the ghost was after her. She widened her stance.

The ghost wasn’t stupid, though, as he stopped at a respectable distance and bowed to Danny. Then he glanced at Sam before looking back at the King.

“I request the hand of Lady Samantha in marriage.”

The room fell into silence as the music stopped with a scratch for the second time in one night. Danny straightened his posture and tilted his head.

“Why?”

Why indeed. It was known of the High King’s intent of making Tucker and Sam his official Consorts after their deaths. Challenging a claim on another ghost like that, be in a romantic, platonic, mentorly or fatherly kind of relationship, was highly frowned upon. To challenge the King’s claim was plain suicide.

“My Lady has proved a worthy warrior and news of her accomplishments has come to my humble pricedom in the Lands of Perpetual Spring.”

“She’s alive.”

“So she is,” some ghosts gasped. Living people weren’t exactly welcomed by everyone in the Zone. “It matters little to me.”

Danny lifted an eyebrow, his hair disrupted by an invisible burst of air. He looked at Sam, who made a face at the situation. The King wouldn’t accept the challenge, because he was Danny, but he couldn’t simply ignore the ghost.

Sam straightened her back and hit the floor with her weapon.

“Beat me in single combat and we’ll talk.”

The ghost looked at her over his shoulder, like she had just said something crazy. He turned at the king, but he was shrugging.

“Whatever she says, man. Try and win against her before making any rash declarations.”

More whispers from the ghost crowd. By this time everyone should have gotten used to how unorthodox Danny was about almost everything. And how he didn’t care about protocol. And etiquette.

“Very well,” the ghost said, clearing his throat. “Dueling rules?” He smiled down at her in a condescending way.

She snorted. She knew the dueling rules. “Until forfeit, or five seconds knocked out or unable to keep fighting.” It wasn’t her first duel, but it was the first time she didn’t duel against Danny, a yeti warrior, one of Pandora’s captains or any other of her trainers. “Tell me your name, since you already know mine.”

“I’ll tell you after I win my new bride,” he winked at her, and her skin crawled. Okay, now it was personal.

She swallowed some words she wanted to say and looked at Danny for confirmation. He nodded and stepped back, letting the duel begin.

Sam didn’t waste any second, letting go of her morningstar to hit her forearms together. The plating of her armor there sparkled for a moment, activating the magical-technological properties of her suit, runes written with light all over the previously dull plating of her armor. She couldn’t even pretend to understand how Tucker and the elder Fentons did it, but her suit let her absorb ambient ectoplasm over time and store it in the metal, to be released in similar fashion as any other ghost. So far she had managed enhanced physical abilities and low-to-medium power ectoblasts, but she was working with Danny to get into the really cool stuff soon.

Anyway, she could win this. She had trained like crazy for a year. She had to win this.

Taking advantage of the distraction, she took a breath and grabbed the morningstar, swinging it with her enhanced strength at the ghost frozen in place. The hit got him on the side full force, launching him to the other wall with an undignified scream.

She blinked. Did she win already?

No, the jerk came back flying at her with fury in his red eyes. One hand on his bleeding side and another combed back long platinum locks, revealing his elvish ears flattened against his skull. He hissed.

Sam was waiting for him when he launched himself, claws first, and prepared her shoulder to take the hit. Her armor purring with power, feeding her and fanning the flames of the adrenaline coursing through her veins.

The ghost hit her, but she stood her ground. Her feet dragged for a moment over the polished stone floor, and for a moment she lost her footing. Gritting her teeth, she let go of her weapon to free her hands to push back at the ghost, sneaking a punch to the jaw to make him stop trying to crush her under his natural ghost strength.

He let her go, and she took a few seconds to regain her breathing. She also checked that the armor was still functioning. Everything was okay, of course. Fenton weaponry was quite sturdy.

The Jerk, as she was calling him in her head, lunged at her again, but she sidestepped him. In the last moment, the goth grabbed his tail and pulled back, forcing him to fly back in front of her. She charged her left arm and punched him downwards. The other ghost hit the stone so hard he made a crater.

“What-” The Jerk started to say as he stood again on two reformed legs, the hand still drenched with ectoplasm on his head.

She didn’t let him finish. Sam charged her knee guards and jumped, floating for a moment in the air in the way that gravity worked funny in the Ghost Zone, and plummeted back down, legs first to where Jerk was looking up at her with horror.

He moved away at the last second.

“Hey, hey. This is just a duel! No killing!” he tried to plead, eyes bulging out of his head at the even bigger crater she was looking at him from, just where he stood a moment ago.

“Oh yeah, I’m not at the maximum power setting,” she clicked her arm guards together again, and the armor started purring louder, the metal glowing in a softer white than most ghosts.

“But-”

“Why? Do you want to surrender?” she rose her voice over his, her stance tense and ready to attack again.

Jerk eyed the bright armor for a second. Then looked into her eyes. Sam smiled, hoping he got the message that she intended to humiliate him for his insult at her person.

Instead of doing the intelligent thing and giving up, he squared himself, his hands charging with his own ectoblasts. A delicate flower crown appeared on his head, showing how he was channeling the power of his land.

She narrowed her eyes. The hard way it is.

The warrior (in training) leaped forward with a charged kick to the floor, trying to get in close quarters before he could shoot her. Hand to hand combat was her best strategy, and ghosts never expected it because everyone could shoot ectoblasts. Up close and personal? They didn’t know what to do with her.

She guided away one of his charged fists in a flowing motion and did an uppercut with her other hand. She jumped and kicked him down, following him down to do a series of combo punches before kicking him in the chest with all the energy she could gather in her knee guards.

Jerk flew up and away, crashing through the stained glass window behind the throne, which depicted an abstract picture of the King triumphant after battle.

Sam stood back up, panting at the effort. When five seconds seconds passed and Jerk didn’t come back, she relaxed and clicked her forearms to deactivate the armor and stop wasting ectoplasm.

“What a workout, huh?”

She bit her lips, not knowing if she should laugh or hit Danny at the comment.

The ghosts decided to laugh. Duels were the purest form of entertainment in the Zone. Bread and circus and all that.

“Someone check if homeboy over there is still breathing, please?” he continued, turning to grab her hand and lift it like she was a boxer at the ring. “Sam wins!”

People cheered, and even if she shouldn’t care about anyone’s recognition, she looked around to find people from her school clapping along with the ghosts.

Her mother… Pamela was frowning. Her father was pale, his hands trembling.

She decided she would care about that later.

“Sorry about the destruction, Danny.”

“No problemo. I know more than anyone how rowdy these ghost fights can get.” He made a motion with his hands and without even looking at it, everything that was broken during the fight repaired itself in seconds. On the back of her mind she registered the ‘ohhhh’s and ‘ahhh’s of the humans and ghosts alike.

Sam smiled at the show of power, glad that Danny seemed more comfortable with it. That was the whole point of this party, anyway.

She kissed him softly on the lips.

“Thanks for letting me take care of it.”

He snorted. “You are kidding, right? Thank you for kicking his butt. What a jerk,” he rolled his eyes.

“While I agree with Danny, Sam, not to objectify you or anything, but hot damn!” Tucker joined them, fanning his blushing face. “Those were some sexy moves. I don’t think I can stop thinking about it now.”

“I can sit on your face later, if that helps.”

Her boyfriends blushed and looked at each other, clearly picturing it in their heads. They looked back at her, nodding enthusiastically.

She smirked and grabbed Tucker’s face to kiss him deeply.

“Later.” He squeaked, breathless against her lips.

Danny

Danny closed his eyes and smiled, enjoying the noise and the gathering of different entities in his castle. Since he took the throne, silence became his enemy - it left him alone with his thoughts and his extended conscience of the Zone and-

No. Focus, Danny. He had to focus on what he had close. The shades nibbling at his emotions and his energy, his partners’ presence close by, Fright shadowing him. The former A-listers of his school. His sister, who was watching him.

He opened his eyes, finding Jazz beside Dorathea, apparently mid conversation, looking at him with concern. He smiled, hoping it was reassuring. He was fine. Finally, no more secrets.

“So…,” Wes continued their conversation as if Sam hadn’t just fought a ghost with her bare hands. “How does it feel knowing that the guys you bullied during highschool are now ghost royalty?”

The question was aimed at the popular kids, of course.

Dash turned at him with a frown on his face.

“Royalty?” he said. “I know how these things are, Fentonio. You are not a real ghost, you can’t be king. Maybe a figurehead or something, but I can’t believe that ghosts would simply roll over and obey a wimpy human.”

Danny laughed. Of course, he expected something like this. “It surprises me that you know such big words, Dash. But you are mistaken, though. Ghost society is dictated by power. The most powerful is at the top. Aren’t you familiar with the concept?”

He tilted his head, daring him to agree.

“Also,” he continued. “Do you forget how I got this crown?” He pointed at his hair, feeling the Crown of Fire materialize, ignoring the boost of power and awareness that came from summoning his relics.

“Prissy Dark.”

Danny snorted. “Yeah. I defeated him. And now, if someone wants my crown, well,” he smiled and kindly let a bit of his power show. The room became darker, and he knew ghosts could feel the pressure of his presence. Humans, though, would have to go by what Tucker had called his ‘crazy eyes’. “They’d have to defeat me.”

Sam elbowed his side.

“And defeat Sam first, yeah yeah, that too.” He rolled his eyes, letting go of his control of the place. As usual, his keep, his lair in the Ghost Zone, obeyed.

(If he wanted, he could make everything, including its residents, obey. He could do so many things-)

Dash took a step back, but recuperated quickly from the scare.

“I still won’t believe it. You had help!”

“I did. I do!” he nodded. “I’m proud to say that I got here with a mix of bad luck, the power of friendship and stubbornness.”

“You are selling yourself short, my King,” Ember suddenly jumped in, pushing him playfully. “You still passed those tests and trials and some shit,” she knocked back her glass of ghost wine, missing her mouth completely. “And now you are the King of the Underworld! Woohoo!”

“Ember, I think you need to cut a bit with-”

“Remember when we used to fight?” she threw her arms around his neck. “You were so cute, defending the town.”

Fright did a quick step to remove the singer, but Dann shook his head. On the back of his mind he registered the humans freaking out at the famous singer Ember McLain.

“Hey, do you wanna dance for a bit? It would burn the alcohol.”

“Burn?” the ghost smiled, she wanted it to be a smirk, but it was lopsided and weak. What had happened to Ember? Did she argue with Skulker again?

“Yeah.”

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun blended into the room, a careful move to reign back the party mood from the previous fight. It worked, because a lot of cheers echoed in the room, including a drunk Ember.

“That’s what I’m talking about, yeah!” she turned to look at him before she jumped into the dancing crowd. “For a grown-up you are still pretty cool, dipstick.”

“Not a grown up, yet,” he arched an eyebrow.

“Grown-up-to-be then,” Ember struck her tongue, her guitar appearing in her hands, and she started to float backwards as she did her own rendition of Cyndi Lauper’s classic.

He breathed in relief.

“King of the Underworld?” Dash squeaked. “Like… Hades or some shit?”

“Still caught up on that?”

“Will you, uh, damn my soul or anything when I die?”

Danny rolled his eyes. “First, rude. Hades never decides who dies. He’s not even the God of Death, that is Thanatos-”

“And he is actually pretty nice!” Tucker said around the big cake slice he somehow found and was in the process of devouring.

“- And second, I’m not some god of the afterlife.”

“You kind of are, though,” Jazz and Dora had decided to join them, probably taking pity on him at being interrogated.

“Your Highness,” Dora did a courtesy. Danny had given up on telling her not to, so he nodded in acknowledgement.

“I’m not a god.” His tone was final. He didn’t want to discuss his actual status as… whatever he was now. After bonding with the Core in his coronation ceremony, he knew... He just knew he had become something else. Not human, not ghost. Still halfa. But what he found in the Core, it wasn’t -

(He was Undying now. He was Eternal. And he was only one step away from the creature he was bonded with now.)

But he was not a god.

“You should totally cosplay Hades, though.” He glared at Tucker. “You already rock the ‘dead but sexy’ aesthetic.”

An explosion took his attention away. Of course. Gather a bunch of drunk ghosts in one room and leave them unsupervised for five minutes and someone was going to explode something.

After reassuring everyone that it was okay and he was just going to check what happened, he followed his instincts and found one of the DP banners adorning the walls on fire. Blue fire.

He looked at Ember, who was cheering among a group of fire core ghosts that joined her. Surprisingly, some humans he recognized from his school, but were younger than him, were cheering too.

He waved his hand and fixed the banner.

“Careful with the fire.” Was everything he said, but it fell on deaf ears.

Danny walked back to where he was to continue the conversation and maybe talk to his sister, acknowledging people that greeted him with a nod and a smile, when he froze at what he found.

Huh. It seemed like drunk ghosts weren't the only thing he had left unsupervised. Apparently, parents-in-law were also dangerous to leave alone.

“... and you must stop this… behaviour!” Pamela made a gesture with her hand. Sam arched an eyebrow.

“But you just gestured all of me.”

“Yes! It is unbecoming of a lady!” the woman pinched the bridge of her nose. “So this is what you were doing behind my back? Behind our backs?” Jeremy stood silently behind his wife. “Running around hunting ghosts? With a ghost?”

“I thought you were okay with it?” Sam crossed her arms, but Danny could see how the argument was affecting her. She didn’t like fighting with her mother.

“Yeah, but I never allowed you to canoodle with it!”

Oh. So it was this argument.

Danny took a breath to control his emotions and stood into the fray, positioning himself behind Sam and besides Tucker, one hand on her shoulder.

“You!” Pamela redirected her glare at him. “You dragged her to this path!”

Sam stepped into her line of vision. “He never dragged me anywhere. I followed him willingly and knowingly.”

“And look what it made of you,” Pamela scoffed, looking at Sam up and down with her mouth turned down. “I didn’t raise a tomboy,” she looked at Danny and then at Tucker, who were biting their lips to stay silent. “And I didn’t raise a promiscuous daughter either.”

It was also this argument, too, huh? They’ve been avoiding that confrontation for years.

“You didn’t raise me, the nanny did,” Sam’s shoulders were tense. “You don’t know me.”

Pamela took a step back, as if the teenager had just slapped her in the face. But Sam wasn’t done, it seems.

“Mother, this is who I am. Being here, helping Danny? It is where I do the most good. The stuff we are changing around here… it is worth it.”

The King let his hand slide to her’s, and squeezed it softly. Jeremy’s eyes followed every movement.

“Things are changing for the better. Don’t you see? After tonight nothing will be the same. When I get back I can show you-”

“Don’t.”

Sam’s voice broke a little bit. “What?”

“Don’t go back home.” The woman closed her eyes. A tear went down her cheek. “I can’t… I can’t deal with this anymore. This… rebellion of yours. I thought working with Phantom would help get you used to some practice experience and then you would go back to the real world and work on real causes. But this?” She looked around the hall. “This is a fairytale, Sammykins. Ghosts aren’t real people. You aren’t helping anyone.”

This time it was Sam who looked like she had been slapped.

“You really don’t know anything,” her tone was of disbelief. She narrowed her eyes. “You think you do because you have money to throw at your problems, to hide things you are insecure about. But you know nothing.”

“I am your mother. I know what I need to know.”

“No you don’t. You just choose what you want to believe and stick with it. Did you know we’ve been dating for two years? No, you don’t. Never asked. Did you notice all the times I wasn’t home, when I was out there saving the goddam town from real threats? No, you don’t. Because you only care about yourself and things that directly affect you. You think you are my mother, but you never cared about me, ever.”

“I do care-”

“No! Just… shut up. Leave. Just leave,” the hand in Danny’s was clutching it with a death grip. “I will decide if I want to go back to that house after tonight. For now… Danny?”

He cleared his throat, summoning the Crown to make a portal. “Please, step into the portal. Thanks for attending today.”

Pamela seemed like she wanted to scream at him too, but when their eyes met she closed her mouth and blinked rapidly, as if confused. Crazy eyes indeed.

“This isn’t over, young lady,” she turned to look at Sam.

“Oh yeah, it is.” Her smile was weak, but her eyes were stormy.

When the Mansons crossed the portal, Pamela made a point to glare at everyone who was looking at them (which was by this time practically the whole room). Music had stopped again and Danny didn't have the energy to kick back into the party mood anymore.

"Sam?" Tucker whispered, making a move to hug their girlfriend, but the girl stepped back and away from them.

"I… I think I need a moment," she took their hands and squeezed twice, to signal she was not okay but couldn't deal with physical contact for now. "Be right back."

The crowds parted for her. Those that didn't know her or her situation still got the gist from the argument, and didn't want to poke the bear, especially after knowing what she could do to a ghost.

Danny's heart broke in pieces as he watched her go. The sight of her back as she left via a side door triggered a nightmarish vision he often had since he accepted his title - no, since forever. Since the accident. He always feared the moment she got enough and left him, the moment she would regret involving herself with him, with how messed up he was.

He loved her. He really did. But he would rather just die again in the portal than force her to leave everything behind for him.

"It's going to be okay, Danny," his boyfriend's hand on his own snapped him from his thoughts. "Sam is stubborn but smart."

He didn't answer. What could he say? Nothing was going to be okay, nothing was going to be the same after tonight. He knew this. His partners knew this. But they didn't expect-

Danny took a breath and reigned back his emotions, noticing the flames of the torches grow back to their usual height. The little shades stirred inside of him, too, sensing his discomfort. He sent a calm wave from his core and they resettled back into their sleeping places.

A lot of people depended on him now. He couldn't crumble down like this in public.

The King turned and nodded at Fright before starting walking back to the throne, dragging Tucker with him by their joined hands. All the joy and party mood was gone from his expression, being echoed by the ghosts that moved away from him (in respect? in fear? he didn't know the difference anymore), letting him take his time walking to the raised dais. He didn't bother figuring out how to get up there with the armor - he floated instead. He was the Ghost King. Might as well make a show of it. Just to be a little shit, he made a flourish with his cape as he sat down on the gigantic throne.

An ornate chair appeared next to his throne and Tucker sat down with a sigh, the sound kind of loud in the silent room.

"Now," Danny swallowed the knot in his throat. "We have things to do. Let's get started." He projected his voice, but with how quiet everyone was, he didn't need to raise the volume much.

Ghosts knew what was going on, but since the humans weren't aware of the double purpose of the party, the few groups that remained scrambled back to make space for whatever was going to happen.

Danny smiled softly. No one would get hurt in his lair, they should know that by now.

He looked back at the front, trying not to show favor towards any of the ghosts in front of him. Coronation balls weren't just party and alcohol - protocol dictated that it would also be the moment where subjects (ugh, he didn't like that word) could pledge allegiance officially, and make a show of supporting him in front of everyone.

Not all the ghosts played the games of politics in the Zone, but those who did were a little… over the top.

Danny groaned, watching the first brave ones approach the dais, some ghosts from a cousin kingdom of Dora's, big and jeweled boxes in their hands. Right behind him, he noticed part of New Egypt court drag literal slaves and carriages full of gold behind them.

Tucker groaned as well. He didn't get involved with his future kingdom yet, but he knew they were pretty hardcore about keeping the king happy to keep Tucker as his Consort.

This was going to be a long night.

Sometime in between a pledge from the Guild of Writers and the Knights of Eternal Dawn (how he knew the names, it was part Dora’s rather intensive drilling and his connection to the Zone) Sam slipped back at his other side, another chair appearing for her. Her expression was collected, but he could feel she was done with the party, more than he was.

But he couldn’t just ask everyone to stop and go home. There were many things he could do now, that was true; but he was as limited as well. He had to watch what he said, what he did outside the palace. He was more than a hero - he was someone the ghosts looked up to, feared and/or respected. He served a new purpose.

But there was no going back now. Sometimes he wondered if he did the right thing after all. He was new at this, so he still needed more time to get used to the changes; but sometimes he saw the look in people’s faces, ghosts and humans, his parents, and he wondered… Was he really the person for the job?

Yes.

(The Whisper. Since the coronation he could hear it better. Sense it better.)

...My favorite….

(It said he was the one it wanted.)

But how could he? He was only a child.

“Daniel.”

Clockwork was standing between his throne and Sam’s chair, as if he had been there for a while. He knew he hadn't - he had been paying attention to the parade of riches and ghosts in front of him.

“He’s here.”

He didn’t have to look up to know that with Clockwork, Pandora was also here on the dais. Both ghosts had been busy and told him they wouldn’t come before the pledge part of the ball. As part of his Council, they were needed for official business.

But this was not what Clockwork was talking about.

Ah.

Of course.

“I see,” Danny straightened his spine and tried to relax on his throne, feeling it grow and grow into a more threatening chair fit for a menacing king. “I should have seen this coming.”

The doors to the main hall opened with a bang, and there he was, Plasmius in all his glory. Danny tried his best not to show anger. The last time they crossed paths he almost crushed the other’s core in rage.

In his defense, he said some pretty awful things.

The crowds, alive and dead, parted to let the infamous archnemesis pass through. Not even Maddie and Jack tried to approach him, not after what they had to witness, not after what they learned about their college friend.

Vlad stopped a few steps in front of the dais, arms straight at his sides, his face contorted as if he had swallowed something disgusting.

Danny stood and crossed his arms, trying to make himself look bigger.

“Vladdie. What a sight for sore eyes.”

“Daniel, I didn’t come here for the usual banter.” No ‘little badger’, no smiles, no pleasantries.

“Another challenge, then?” He summoned the Crown, just in case. His core flared with the power, and Danny caught a few ghosts flinching under the weight.

To his relief, Plasmius was shaking his head. “No. It isn't that, either.”

As he looked up at him, Danny was surprised to find genuine sorrow. Pity. Without breaking eye contact, the ghost dropped to his knees in front of everyone, enticing a few gasps and yelps of surprise.

“I have learned that…” he started, a faraway look in his eyes. “I didn’t know. I didn’t know, Daniel.”

The King floated down the raised platform and stood right in front of Vlad. “Didn’t know what?” Plasmius looked away.

“I thought it was just power. Just something to own. I didn’t know what it truly-”

He was stopped by a hand on his head. Vlad looked up to find Danny’s eyes and he understood what was going on. He had his suspicions, but somehow his archnemesis had been shown what it really meant to be King. The horror. How it was not a position of power, but a living sacrifice-

“It’s okay.”

Danny tried to smile, but the pain was still fresh.

“I forgive you.”

His (former?) enemy leaned in and hugged the halfa around his waist. Danny heard a sniffle, but didn’t move to look.

“I pledge my allegiance to the High King of the Ghosts. From this moment until I fade, I may serve you as you see fit.” He recited the words mechanically against his chest. Danny was hit with the force of the new bond entangling itself around his core, a new ghost to command, a new soul belonging to him.

(Belonging to the Whisper. To the Zone. To the Realms. Who could see the difference anymore? Where was the line?)

(Sometimes he couldn’t get out of bed. The heavy feeling in his chest, all that people, all those souls)

He took a deep breath. “I accept.”

And he would. He would forgive and accept everyone.

Because it was the right thing to do. Because he wouldn’t let them know what it really meant to be a ghost. Because he would rather feel the weight and feel their presence, hear the Whispers and dream of horrors beyond the imaginable, than let everyone experience what he did.

Because even if there was a way to undo everything, he would still go into the portal that day when he was fourteen. He would accept the crown again. He would go through the ceremony again.

He was Daniel James Phantom/Fenton and he was the High King of the Ghosts. He had two amazing best friends that loved him and a family that supported him.

He wouldn’t change a thing.

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hamliet · 4 years

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The Girl Who Gets to Have It All: Buffy Summers

So with @linkspooky‘s encouragement, I have binged Buffy the Vampire Slayer and relived my childhood culture. And, it's a 10/10 for me. Not that it doesn't have flaws, but it's genuinely one of the best stories I've seen, with consistent character arcs, powerful themes, and a beautiful message. It's also like... purportedly about vampires and demons and superpowered chosen ones, but it's actually all about humanity.

Buffy was able to be a teenage girl, allowed to like the things teen girls are scorned for (boys, shopping, etc), to be insecure about the thing teenage girls are insecure about (future careers, dating, school, parents), and to be a superhero with its good and its bad aspects. The story wasn’t afraid to call Buffy on her flaws (sometimes she got in a very ‘I am the righteous chosen one’ mode) and to respect and honor each of her desires (to be a good person, to be loved, and more). The story listened to what she wanted and respected her desires, giving her the challenges needed to overcome her flaws while also never teaching her a lesson about wanting bad boys or romance is silly or any manner of dark warnings stories like to throw at teenage girls.

It respected teenage girls--nerdy girls like Willow, jocks like Buffy, lonely wallflowers with trauma like Dawn, and popular/snobby ones like Cordelia, girls gone wild like Faith. It never once reduced them to the stereotypes that were lurking right there: each character was fully rounded, human, flawed and yet with respected interests and goals. This is so rare for a story that I’m still in awe.

The story as a whole follows Buffy from 15 to 21, of her as she grows from teenager to adult. She acts like a teenager and grows to act like a young adult, wrestling with loneliness and duty. The adults, like Giles, Joyce, and Jenny, are not perfect either, but neither are they “bad parents” or “bad mentors” necessarily. Joyce in particular says something terrible to Buffy, but she tries to do better, and it’s rare to see a parent in YA stories shown with such nuance. Basically, it wrote the long-lasting adult characters as human beings, too.

Speaking of growing up, I appreciated how Buffy’s love interests mirrored this. Angel was someone Buffy loved and admired, wanted to be like, but who was always either extreme good or extreme bad, and combined with Buffy’s own tendencies towards black-white thinking, made for a beautiful relationship to help her grow, but didn’t necessarily form a foundation for a long-term partner. Spike, on the other hand... they both saw each other at their worst and were drawn to each other even then, and were inspired to become better because they couldn’t bear to be a person who treated the other person so wrongly. They pushed each other to become the best them they could be, and believed in each other. Also, Spuffy is an enemies to lovers ship for the ages.

(Also, most of the other ships were well-done or at least can be understood. Riley was very obviously wrong for Buffy which paralleled Harmony and Spike in being 100% wrong for each other. Cordelia and Xander were a fun ship even if we all knew it would never last, and Willow and Oz were beautiful and cute. But Xander and Anya and Willow and Tara? OTPs. As were Giles and Jenny, the librarian and the computer teacher.)

That said, it’s not a perfect series. No story is. All of the characters and ships had problematic aspects to them worthy of critique, and the writing is very 90s in a lot of ways. It’s a product of its time, and in many ways it’s good society has progressed beyond some of the tropes/metaphors used in the show. In other way, though, the show was ahead of its time, and in a good way it wasn’t bound by the fear of purity policing with its takes on redemption (many characters would never fly today).

So, in order of seasons ranked from my very favorite to my “still enjoyed it very much” (no season was actually bad, imo), here’s my review. I’ll also review my top 10 villains in the show, because Buffy does villains very well in terms of the redeemable and irredeemable.

Season 7: Yep, the final season was my favorite.

Overall Opinion: Buffy's finale is literally "f*ck them men, our power is ours" and while it seems cheesy it actually works (also, f*ck in both a literal and figurative sense). The series strongly hit all the themes: love as strength, and redemption. Buffy consistently shows love as her strength--*all* kinds of love. Friendship w Willow/Xander, familial with Joyce/Dawn, romantic with Spike/Angel. These types of love are also never pitted against each other as is so often the case in current-day media. It's beautiful. Also, Spike’s confrontation with Wood was so powerful in terms of exploring forgiveness, redemption, and reconciliation: where they overlap and where they don't, and what it means to move forward.

Unpopular Opinion: I have seen a lot didn’t like the inclusion of Potential Slayers, and while I agree they could have been better incorporated/characterized, it was a great way to show Buffy’s final stage of growing up to be ending her chosen one status and projecting/multiplying her powers over the world.

Biggest Critique: Kennedy was female Riley--the anti-Tara to Riley’s anti-Angel (by ‘anti’ I mean opposite in every way). Kennedy was annoying and immature. Her role, like Riley’s, was less about exploring her as a character and more about her just being stamped as “love interest: lesbian.”

Favorite Episodes: Beneath You, Lies My Parents Told Me, Touched, Chosen

Season 6:

Overall Opinion: I said this on Twitter, but I felt like this was Buffy’s The Last Jedi or Empire Strikes Back moment. It is polarizing and dark, deconstructing the tropes it stands on--but by digging to the core of these tropes, it actually makes what’s good about them shine brighter. Everyone’s enemy was the worst versions of themselves. Giles left Buffy, Willow's struggle to relate to the world led to her trying to destroy it, Buffy hurt everyone through her anger, Xander abandoned Anya at the altar, Spike... yeah. It ages well as an integral part of the story, and the Trio were eerily prophetic.

Unpopular Opinion: Dawn is a great character with a good arc. A traumatized teen acting out and struggling to come to terms with loss and identity? She wasn’t whiny; she was realistic.

Biggest Critique: Willow’s addiction coding (I’ll discuss this below) and Seeing Red as an episode. I see the argument for both of its controversial scenes from a narrative perspective: Willow starts the season not grieving Buffy but instead being determined to fix it with magic and needs to learn to grieve, but. Still. Bury your gays is not a good look. For the Spike scene... he conflates sex/passion and violence (”love is blood, children” is something he said way back in season 3), but like Tara’s death, it had more to do with Spike (as Tara’s death did for Willow) than with Buffy’s arc, and as for the actual execution... they really botched that. Did it like... have to go on that long or go that far? No. Also, the framing was good, but inconsistent with the rest of the series (Xander to Buffy in the hyena episode, Faith to Xander and to Riley, etc.)

Favorite Episodes: Once More With Feeling, Smashed, Grave

Season 3 (tied with Season 5):

Overall Opinion: The opening continuity of Buffy meeting Lily/Anne after saving her life in Season 2 was sweet. The Witchhunt episode had really powerful subtext: stories of deaths that aren’t even true are actually demons that possess the town and convince them to turn against their children in the name of protecting the children. It’s a good commentary on, oh, everything in society. Faith’s character arc was fantastic, and her chemistry with Buffy was off the charts (look, I may be Spuffy all the way, but Fuffy has rights). The finale was satisfying in so many ways, seeing the entire graduating class unite to destroy the Mayor and the school with it, symbolizing Buffy et al’s readiness to move on to college. Oz's relationship with Willow was very sweet and meaningful for a first romance for Willow.

Unpopular Opinion: I actually don’t really have one. Maybe that the miracle in Amends was earned? I think you can make a decent case that Season 3 is the best written of the seasons, but can only truly be thematically appreciated to its full potential in the light of subsequent seasons (which finish Faith’s arc and deconstruct Buffy’s).

Biggest Critique: It forgot Buffy killed the hyena guy in Season 1, making her continual insistence that she can’t kill people very ?????

Favorite Episodes: Lovers Walk, Amends, Graduation Day Part 2

Season 5, which ties with Season 3:

Overall Opinion: The entire season is about family and what it means, from Tara’s to Buffy’s to the Scoobies. I loved Glory aka Enoshima Junko as the Big Bad, I loved Dawn’s interesting meta commentary on retconning (like, the fact that she’s retconned in matters), and most of my ships are still alive. Joyce’s relationship with Spike is one of the most heartwarming aspects, and Spike’s arc’s desire is clearly highlighted: he wants to be seen as a person. The episodes after Joyce’s death are the most honest portrayals of grief I’ve ever seen, and absolutely brutal to watch.

Unpopular Opinion: Buffy’s choice at the end seems a deliberate inversion of her choice at the end of Season 2 (sacrifice a loved one to save the world), but it actually isn’t: much like at the end of Season 2 where Buffy skips town because she’s devastated after killing Angel and doesn’t want to sort out being expelled, her mom knowing she’s the slayer, and her own trauma, Buffy’s sacrifice here was as much about her wanting the easy way out of relationships, family, college, etc. as it was about saving Dawn. Buffy’s death is coded as a suicide, which Season 6 emphasizes as well.

Biggest Critique: Like Season 3, I don’t have a lot to critique here. I wish the suicidal coding had been a little more obvious in Season 5 itself, but also I’m not sure it could have been more obvious; it’s pretty apparent if you pay attention. Maybe also that Buffy and Riley’s relationship failing should have been more squarely blamed on Riley, you know, being insecure and cheating.

Favorite Episodes: Family, Fool for Love, Intervention.

Season 2:

Overall Opinion: Heartbreakingly tragic but exciting and revealing at the same time. It asked the viewer interesting questions about redemption and forgiveness and atonement through Angel being honest about his past, and then decided to show us his past now reenacted, challenging us. And still, we saw them save him in a parallel to saving Willow in Season 6 (but Season 2 was tragic because it wasn’t enough, while Season 6 was not). Jenny’s death was agonizing, and the scene were Angel watches Buffy, Willow, and Joyce get the news through the window was powerful. We didn’t have to hear them to get the grief.

Unpopular Opinion: Jenny’s death isn’t a fridging; it works for her arc too when you consider her history. She worked to save the person whose life she was tasked to ruin, and it cost her her own--yet she still succeeded, because Jenny brought joy and wisdom to the show. Kendra’s death, on the other hand... was because they needed the stakes to be high--but we already knew that before she died. So, her death was useless.

Biggest Critique: The subtext was Not It. It was essentially “do not have sex. Your older boyfriend will lose his soul, kill your friends, you’ll lose your family, your school, your home, and have to kill your true love or else hell will literally swallow earth.”

Favorite Episodes: School Hard, Passion, Becoming Part 2.

Season 1:

Overall Opinion: I really liked it; it’s just lower on this list because the others are just better. It’s a great introduction to the series and to its characters, from Giles to Buffy to Willow to Jenny to Cordelia. It has great subtext a lot of the time (for example, Natalie French as She-Mantis is a literal predatory bug who engages in predatory behavior with students). Additionally, it subverts the typical YA trope of two guys and a girl, in which the girl is usually the least interesting character. Buffy and Willow were both fully fledged characters from the beginning with distinct strengths (even before Willow became a witch, as she wasn’t one in season 1 yet), while Xander was the more ordinary of the group.

Unpopular Opinion/Biggest Critique: Xander’s arc showed its first flaws that unfortunately continued throughout the series: his writing was either very good or very indulgent in ways it never was for other characters. (cough, the hyena episode, cough, in which he gets to skirt responsibility--and acknowledges that he is skirting it--for something the show will later hold others to account for). Xander’s just kind of inconsistent, which weakened his character over all. (Which is why both his love interests--Cordelia and then ultimately Anya--were good for him: they did not indulge him.)

Favorite Episode: Witch, Nightmares.

Season 4:

Overall Opinion: it’s still a good season. It’s a good portrayal of college and the growing pains of branching out, the strains of college growth on relationships (romantic and platonic). It shows us the first hints of Spuffy, giving us some serious Jungian symbolism between Spike and Buffy early on, and does well in establishing Xander/Anya and Willow/Tara as beautiful OTPs. Faith and Buffy’s foiling is fantastic. The Halloween episode was very fun as well. However, it suffers because its Big Bad, Adam, is not all that compelling thematically--yet, he could have been. See, the final battle pulls off the Power of Friendship in a really strong way but notably the season does not end there. Instead, it ends on dreams of each character’s worst fears, continuing what we saw in Nightmares in Season 1. Why? Because it shows us that the characters’ wars aren’t against monsters, but monsters of their own making: their flaws. Adam, as a literal Frankenstein, exemplifies this, but it wasn’t capitalized on as well as it could have been.

Unpopular Opinion: Beer Bad isn’t a bad episode, at the very least because Buffy gets to punch Parker. It’s not one of the series’ best, obviously, but it does give Buffy an arc in that she gets her daydream of Parker begging her to come back, but she has overcome that desire and her desire for revenge. If we wanna talk about bad subtext in Season 4, Season 2′s Not It sex subtext continues in the Where the Wild Things Are episode in this season; it’s a powerful callout of abusive purity-culture churches, until the fact that the shame creates a literal curse undermines the progressive message it’s supposed to send. Also, the Thanksgiving episode (Pangs) is a nightmare of white guilt and Oh God Shut Up White People.

Biggest Critique: Riley is awful. Like Kennedy, he had “love interest:normal” stamped on him and that was it. The thing is, he could have worked as an Angel foil, representative of the normal-life aspect of Buffy to Angel’s vampire/supernatural aspect, but the writers never explore this and seemed to even try to back away from that later on. They threw all the romantic cliches at the wall to see what sticks, from klutzy “I dropped my schoolbooks, that’s how we met” to cliché lines that had me rolling my eyes. Do you know how bad a romance has to be to make me dislike romantic tropes?

Favorite Episodes: Fear Itself, Hush, Restless

Villain rankings:

Dark Willow, the only villain to be truly sympathetic. While the addiction coding was insensitive and, while unsurprising for its time, aged extremely poorly. That said, Willow’s turn to the dark side after Tara’s death worked well for her character and the story: it was believable and paid off what had been building since Season 1's “Nightmares” episode (Willow’s inferiority complex).

Glory managed to be genuinely terrifying, and humorous/enjoyable too. Her minions and their numerous nicknames for Glorificus were hilarious, as was her intense vanity. Her merging with Ben--a human being who genuinely wanted to be kind and good--added complexity and tragedy to her role.

The First. A really good take on Satan. The seventh season as well as the First’s first appearance in season 3′s “Amends” had kind of blatant Christian symbolism, and so the First being essentially Satan works. Their disguising themselves as dead loved ones and the subtle manipulation they used to alienate people was really disturbing and well done.

The Mayor, who was a terrible person but a truly good father. He provided an interesting contrast to the normal ‘bad dad’ bad guy character, in that he provided Faith exactly what the other characters refused to: he saw the best in her and offered her parental support, while the heroes didn’t and wound up pushing her away.

The Trio, who were villains ahead of their time: whiny fanboy reddit dudebros, basically. The stakes seemed so much lower than fighting Glory, a literal god, the previous season. But that’s why they worked so well for Season 6′s human themes, and were especially disturbing because we all know people like them. I also appreciated the surprisingly sensitive takes on Jonathan and Andrew, who got to redeem themselves, but Warren did not, and I don’t think he should have either.

Angelus + Drusilla. I’m ranking them below the Trio because Angelus was just sooooo different from Angel that it was difficult for me to feel the same way for him. He was still Angel, so it wasn’t possible to enjoy his villainy, but he also wasn’t nearly as sympathetic as Dark Willow, had no redeeming qualities like the Mayor, and wasn’t as disturbingly realistic as the Trio. However, the emotional stakes were excellently executed with him as the Big Bad, in that you were never quite sure how to feel and it just plain hurt. Also, Drusilla was a favorite recurring character. She was sympathetic and yet batsh*t enough to be enjoyable as a villain at the same time.

The Master, who was just completely camp and really worked as an introductory villain. He was scary enough to believe he was a threat, and was funny enough to introduce the series’ humor as well. He was, like Glory, an enjoyable Big Bad.

The Gentlemen, the one-off villains of Season 4′s Hush who were genuinely terrifying. It’s not as if they got a lot of explanation or any backstory, but they didn’t need it.

Caleb, the misogynist priest. Fitting with the First’s Christian symbolism, Caleb serving as a spokesperson of all bad religious beliefs felt appropriate. He was also a good foil to Warren--being actually supernaturally powered instead of a wannabe--and to Tara’s family in being full-out evil. I despised him.

Snyder. Okay Snyder is not a Big Bad like Adam is, but let’s face it: Adam is lame compared to the other villains. But Snyder as a principal? He was so irritating and yet really well used in the series to critique overly strict, hypocritical teachers. Like, we all know teachers like him. I loved to hate him, and his ending was so satisfying.

#buffy the vampire slayer #btvs #spuffy #buffy summers #dawn summers #spike #angel #cordelia chase #btvs giles #willow rosenberg #tillow #tara maclay #anya jenkins #xanya #xander harris #jenny calendar #kendra young #faith lehane #hamliet reviews

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theheightofdishonor · 3 years

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Teen Wolf triads are something that can be so personal, so here’s a list of my faves

Scott/Stiles/Allison

The OG trio. The gang that dies together might not stay together, but they’re still iconic.

Scott/Stiles/Lydia

Any Scott/Stiles/X dynamic is brilliant, but few more than this one. These three have been there since the beginning and they’ve gone through so much together. There’s no Teen Wolf without them.

Scott/Stiles/Derek

They were the driving force in S1&2 and had some absolutely iconic moments together. Hate that there wasn’t more of them after that.

Scott/Derek/Isaac

Mostly based on S2/3. I was very invested in Isaac’s struggle to pick between these two.

Scott/Stiles/Isaac

This triad’s dynamic completely changes between S2 and 3. In Season 2, Isaac, as part of Derek’s pack is a slightly antagonistic figure and it’s very much Scott&Stiles vs Isaac but in S3, Scott and Isaac grow closer while Isaac and Stiles erm, don’t. It’s very fun to watch.

Scott/Isaac/Allison

My ot3 and the only trio on this list that I 100% ship.

Isaac/Erica/Boyd

Ayy, it’s the OG Hale Pack aka 3 teens bonding over being thrown headfirst into something they weren’t prepared for and Derek’s horrible leadership. Isaac should’ve ran away with Erica and Boyd for solidarity’s sake.

Chris/Allison/Isaac

Chris’s struggle between hating Isaac for dating his daughter and wanting to adopt him is hilarious. One of my favourites.

Scott/Melissa/Isaac

Who didn’t completely melt at Isaac joining the McCall fam? The scene where they’re ‘guarding’ Melissa was so cute. As a bonus, it made Stiles’s animosity towards Isaac that much stronger. Will forever hate that this trio was more or less non-existent in 3b even though I love Chris/Allison/Isaac.

Derek/Cora/Peter

The non-dead Hales. Why oh why did Cora have to leave? Their family dynamic was great.

Allison/Lydia/Cora

I know they only had a couple scenes as a triad, but there was so potential. We love antagonism with underlying sexual tension. And ofc, the only thing better than 1 terrifying badass that can secretly be super sweet is 3 terrifying badasses.

Derek/Isaac/Boyd

At one point, the only non-dead members of the Hale Pack (TW quickly amended that). I always think of the S3a Loft scene where Boyd and Isaac skip school to protect Derek. Despite how awful of an alpha Derek’s been, they still care about him and he cares about them (as actual people and not just betas that he needs for power like he did originally)

Derek/Allison/Lydia.

Yes it’s my 5th s3 based trio in a row, but can you blame me? This is 100% based off the classroom scene in 3x02.

Allison/Lydia/Jackson

Although Lydia and Jackson were both awful in S1, their friendship with Allison and their immediately taking her under their wing was beyond precious. Additionally, it combines both the asshole-who’s-soft-towards-1-person- dynamic (jydia w/ allison) and assholes-who-secretly-care-about-each-other (jydia) And ofc, the underlying tension due to Jydia’s disdain towards Scott and later, Jackson and Allison’s experiences/knowledge of the supernatural.

Malia/Kira/Lydia

Comedy gold. Their scenes speak for themselves and we needed more.

Liam/Mason/Corey

Their S6a dynamic is sooo underrated and should’ve been given more screen time. I loved watching Liam and Corey struggle to get along for Mason’s sake because they want him to be happy. It was all very wholesome and one of the few things that made 6a worth watching.

Stiles/Scott/Liam

Aka the best part of S4.Their dynamic is so fun and well-balanced and infinitely better because they’re a triad. You’ve got Scott and Liam figuring out their mentor/mentee relationship with Stiles co-parenting and preventing the Scott/Liam dynamic from turning unhealthy. (Liam and Scott’s S6 dynamic veered way too close to parent/child for my taste. They need Stiles to balance it out) It’s also hilarious how quickly Liam accepts being aggressively adopted by two idiots who are barely older than him. And Stiles takes so easily to playing older brother/co-parent. It’s adorable. They’re adorable.

Erica/Allison/Lydia

Very similar dynamic to Allison/Lydia/Cora due to Cora and Erica’s similar personalities but also not, which has a lot to do with Allison and Lydia’s reactions to Erica’s weaponized feminity. Also, there’s a lot more history between these girls and I want to know everything about what Erica thinks of Lydia after going to school with her for years.

Sherriff/Melissa/Chris

Of the top of my head, I can only remember that time where they were trapped under the Nemeton and that’s simply unacceptable.

Sheriff/Noshiko/Melissa.

It’s a crime that this triad never got scenes. Especially after the Sheriff tried to arrest Kira. I know Melissa bitch slapped him but I wanted to watch these two badasses gang up on the Sheriff together. ( the Noshiko/Melissa dynamic would be so iconic.)

Victoria/Noshiko/Melissa

Another triad that never shared scenes (obviously because Vic is dead) but their power would’ve been off the charts. I want to make a joke about milfs, but I’ll refrain.

The Yukimura fam

Seemed appropriate since my last two also included. Noshiko.I love family dynamics and the Yukimuras are no exception. The attraction of this triad, for me, is mostly the dynamic between Kira and Noshiko and how Ken navigates between them. They’re also a trio that we didn’t see nearly enough of in S4 and 5. Like seriously, where were they? Noshiko’s on the dead pool, but she’s barely mentioned. (on a mostly unrelated note, how is the 900 yr old Kitsune worth less than a girl that just found about her kitsune powers?)

Derek/Allison/Scott

I don’t need to explain this one. The angst, the drama, Derek projecting Kate onto Allison and Allison trying to murder Derek and their evolution to reluctant allies with a good dash of Scallison and Scott navigating his own difficult relationship with Derek. Aka the complicated, tension fraught trio we all loved/should love. ( ok, I kind of explained it)

Derek/Scott/Liam

And here we have a two for one deal; two mentor/mentee dynamics in 1 triad. People much smarter than me have written about this trio in extensive detail, so all I’m saying is that Derek’s that one uncle who occasionally comes around and gives somewhat helpful advice.

Braeden/Malia/Scott

Braeden and Scott were great in S4. Braeden and Malia were great in S5. Scott and Malia are pretty great when they’re not in a relationship. Combine, and you get what had to be a kick-ass triad that’s sadly never canonly shown together (I think)

Melissa/Chris/Isaac

Not actually featured in the show, but Isaac deserves all the parental figures and I want to witness the surely epic custody battle between Chris and Melissa.

Malia/Scott/Peter

That this trio is on here is actually pretty funny because I hate both Scalia and the forced Peter/Malia bonding in S6. But I loved the scene where Peter warned Malia not to fall in love with Scott because a) he has absolutely 0 right to advise her on anything and b) because of the history between Scott and Peter. In a way, a relationship with Malia is just another thing tying Scott to someone that’s repeatedly caused harm to him and his friends and was the initial cause for all the pain he’s suffered in the last couple years. I just find this dynamic worth exploring.

Malia/Derek/Peter

The Hales 2.0. Derek and Malia deserve to bond over unwillingly being related to Peter, that scumbag.

Malia/Stiles/Peter

Stiles and Peter are so fun together and Stalia is my jam. Throw in an antagonistic Malia and Peter relationship and they’re entertaining as hell. Much more lighthearted than Malia/Scott/Peter.

Stiles/Malia/Lydia

To clarify, this has nothing to do with a love triangle and everything to do with how their personalities play off each other. It’s one of those trios where together, they’re either terrifying or absolute morons.

Stiles/Cora/Derek

Admittedly, my version of this is very Sterek+Cora and the hilarity of Stiles and his attraction to Hales but it’s also 3x snark and you really can’t go wrong.

Scott/Stiles/Melissa

It’s Melissa and her boys 1.0. This woman is by far the best parent on this show, and I love the specific dynamic among these three. Melissa might not always like Stiles, but she cares about him and there’s the mutual understanding that they both adore Scott and would do anything for him. Also, Mel being exasperated by the dumbass duo is always funny.

Kate/Allison/Chris

Lowkey another custody battle because Kate and Chris do fight to be the bigger influence on Allison This is such a tragic trio to me, and the lesson here is basically that sometimes love isn’t enough. Chris and Kate both genuinely love Allison and she loves them too but can’t have both and at some point, she has neither. Kate and Chris care about each other, but that’s not enough either. In the end, they all lose each other. There’s no happy ending for them, at least not with each other.

Derek/Stiles/Peter

Stiles just has chemistry (not necessarily romantic) with all Hales and this trio really shines through in 3x01 and in S3 in general. “Chess is Stiles’s game” asgdhfjgh. I wanted more of that very specific dynamic.

That was a hell lot longer than I thought it would be, but what can you do. Feel free to tell me your own opinions in the tags/comments.

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sandu-zidian · 4 years

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Blabbing about this Musician!au I started last summer that has now also turned into a marching band!au because I got sad and nostalgic because despite how shitty it could be, marching band defined my high school life and social life and I couldn’t had asked for anything else.

I also don’t have every single prequel character (because this au is surrounding the prequel characters) in Star Wars smacked into here, and I gave up halfway through a couple of months ago in terms of brainstorming. Anyways, this is hella long so check everything out under the line if you’d like! don’t want to spam everyone with something that’s like, 4 pages long

Now, you might be asking. What instruments are these characters playing, or what are they doing in marching band? well, boy oh boy do I have some lore for you.

Anakin Skywalker: alright lets start of with the “Chosen One”. Now, I gotta say. He’s got some intense brass vibes, specifically high brass. But I don’t know. He didn’t really mesh well. And given his natural talent with the Force in canon, I thought that Anakin would be a sort of prodigy. And we all know the two instruments associated with that: the piano and violin. He’s more of a piano dude, so here we go! piano prodigy Anakin Skywalker. He also gives mad drumline vibes, and I can see him as either the lead snare, setting the tempo, or the main quad player. He’s brash, slightly obnoxious, but damn is he fucking good at what he does.

Obi-Wan Kenobi: I literally started this AU on the idea that Obi-Wan would play the cello. One of the defining quotes for him is that fucking “infinite sadness” quote. And we all know that cellos play some of the saddest pieces out there. (see: Elgar cello concerto) However, I can’t see him as a marching band dude. He doesn’t really give off color guard vibes (since that’s where most non-band people go to) so I have him as the resident student helper who everyone tolerates because he brings ice cream after band camp.

Ahsoka Tano: Ahsoka is a flute player. As a flute player, I have intimate knowledge on this. She’s like the chill flute player who’s competitive enough to keep her position as principal, but is also chill enough to not have a big ego that butts heads with everyone. She also gives mad color guard vibes. Also speaking about that from personal experience (am I lowkey projecting my own experiences on her? you didn’t hear that from me). She seems like the type to love swing flags and sabre, and is 100% captain by senior year.

I have Anakin, Obi-Wan, and Ahsoka as siblings in this AU because I say so. Qui-Gon is around here somewhere as the resident hippie dad who lowkey smokes pot and will support his children while giving a big ‘fuck you’ to Dooku.

Yoda’s also in here somewhere, and I love the idea that he’s an old Chinese/Asian man who refuses to speak english and will only do so with the most backwards grammar so his grandchild (Qui-Gon) and great-grandchildren (the trio) are forced to speak Mandarin/Cantonese to him (pick your poison). He just spends his days cutting up fruit and also might pull out his erhu if everyone asks nice enough. (I want to say he was a Peking Opera musician, but immigrated during Mao’s reign after he lost opportunities during the cultural revolution)

So, I know that it doesn’t make sense for a family to have 3 sets of twins and one triplet set, but fuck that I do what I want.

Cody Fett: okay so, Cody 100% plays the french horn. I don’t know, he just, he does. He’s got that air of sophistication because he can play the hardest brass instrument, but at the same time, he’s incredibly good at it and is matter-of-fact about it. He also would be the mello section leader (I was playing with the idea of drum major, but for now, leaving him as a section leader for now). He’s a bit uptight to be a low brass player, but cool enough to still be associated with the general brass group.

Rex Fett: I got Rex and Cody as the eldest Fett twins. Rex feels like a string player, so I have him on violin. I can see him be very hardworking and practicing diligently to the point where he easily sweeps through to concertmaster in high school and the local youth orchestra. He also gives of mad drum major vibes. I can see him copying music, handing out drill charts, and hauling the met around. Also, just think about Rex doing a fancy ass salute at competitions. Yes.

Next round of twins lets gooo

Jesse Fett: You could say Jesse has brass vibes. I see him as a reed person though. In concert band, he’s on clarinet. I used to think clarinets were as stuck up as us flutes but no they’re literally balls of chaotic energy ready to be unleashed. Just imagine Jesse blaming everything on his reed. I see him as the guy who switches to saxophone for marching band, though. He’s got the energy of the clarinet and the saxophone harnessed. Also, wouldn’t be surprised if he knows how to play the sousa.

Kix Fett: Y’know, when I originally made this AU, I had Kix as a musician as well. I’m gonna scratch that. He’s going to medical school, or at least, he’s planning to. He’s on the pre-med track and is dying in organic chemistry and wishes there weren’t so many pre-requisites. However, in high school, he definitely played the oboe. Of course Kix chose one of the hardest instruments to play. Also, just imagine him trying to make his own reeds. I don’t see him as a guy who’s in marching band. He’ll come to competitions and maybe football games if he’s bullied into it. Kix is the guy who’s classes are all AP and he’s dying inside.

Next round of twins yeet:

Fives Fett: shit, I forgot I gave them all real names. If I remember correctly, Fives is Frank. Anyways, trumpet vibes. Need I say more? He’s on the trumpet in marching band as well and he’s the dude who’s obsessed with DCI and always tries to play as high as he possibly can and absolutely demolishes his chops. I would say he’s section leader as well. He also hangs with the drumline at the back of the bus and always plays meme songs on blast and sends weird pictures to people’s phone via open airdrop.

Echo Fett: I think his birth name is Ethan??? I’m spitting thoughts not checking my old documents. Anyways. Echo feels like a string person. Specifically, low strings. So, he plays the bass. Upright bass. Whatever. You get what I mean. He sleeps in the case after school and hates hauling it everywhere. He was in marching band as a mello player (the easiest brass instrument to pick up for the activity so) but he was in a car crash that left him paralyzed from the hip down, and had to quit to recover. He never stopped playing, and found ways to adjust. (I do not know how exactly this would work, since I’m able bodied and also don’t play the bass, but I know he’d at least have a stool to sit on in order to lean his body on. let me know if you have other ideas i’d love to hear them!)

Finally, we got the triplets:

Dogma Fett: Dogma plays the bassoon. He’s a low reed kinda guy and between the bari sax, bass clarinet, and bassoon, he fits the last one the best. He and Kix moan over making reeds and he’s on the quieter side. He just vibes and plays all the low notes and has fun whenever he’s got some moving part. I see Dogma as someone who is only casually into marching band. He uses Jesse’s old student clarinet as his instrument and he’s always on time, knows his sets, and his technique is on point. He always finds himself roped into his brothers’ shenanigans though.

Tup Fett: Tup plays the harp. I like to think he met Shaak Ti (we’ll get to her in a bit) when he was young, and she was playing with an orchestra. He met her backstage and she offered to give him lessons. Tup’s not really a part of high school orchestra but sometimes he’ll be brought in. He’s more involved with solo work and the youth orchestra more than anything. Tup’s another on where I don’t think he’d be into marching band. Though I can see him being in winter guard as the dude who just shows up and is lowkey rip and therefore is a hunk on the rifle. His technique’s good but they’ve never been able to saddle him into fall guard.

Hardcase Fett: (i’ve given up on remembering the birth names so i’m just gonna not) Hardcase is 100% low brass vibes. He can’t be anything but a low brass. I see him as a tuba player. He’s chill, laid back, but also reliable for being the foundation of the band sound. He plays the sousaphone in marching band and always blasts either Seven Nation Army or some other popular show tune right after rehearsals. Hardcase also can play the bari sax and no one knows when he learned how to.

OKAY we’re done with the Fett’s! Jango and Boba are in here somewhere but honestly I don’t have enough brainpower to come up with what their roles are. Jango’s gonna be a good dad though. Maybe he was a musician and that’s why most of his kids are going into music. Or maybe he’s just a supportive father. Boba’s the youngest though, that’s for sure. And he’s a little shit. Don’t know if he plays an instrument (probably) or what it might be.

Now lets get into some other characters! There’s a lot. And I wasn’t even halfway done with the characters I wanted to include. What the hell was I on last summer?

Padmé Amidala: Padmé is a flute player who quit after freshman year of high school and started taking music production and music theory classes. She loved it so much that she decided that composing was her jam. Now, she’s highly successful and often works with well known pianist, Anakin Skywalker, on piano concertos. Also, she may or may not be dating said pianists but you didn’t hear that from me.

Satine Kryze: twosetters don’t shit on me but Satine feels like she’d play the viola. She and Obi-Obi-Wan definitely dated in high school but after a year broke up on mutual terms and are just good friends now. A lot of people feel like she’d have been a better political science/international studies major than a music major but she’s good so no one complains (until she gets into a fighting match with someone and wins smugly)

Bo-Katan Kryze: shes Satine’s younger sister and is a mad athlete. She doesn’t play any instruments but she’s deeply active and is on scholarship for college, on the pre-med track with Kix. She’s very scary and most people are too intimidated by her to approach.

Plo Koon: I originally had him as an asian man, but I can see Native American as well. He plays the euphonium and he’s just a sweet man. He helps out a lot with private lessons at local high schools and is often brought in to help with low brass during marching band.

Wolffe Koon: Wolffe and Gregor (get to him in a bit) were both adopted by Plo when their parents died when they were very young. Plo was their godfather and he took them in like they were his own. They’re cousins to the Fett brothers (though don’t ask me how I have no idea). Wolffe is an engineer and works close to home.

Gregor Koon: Gregor is Wolffe’s younger brother and had a short stint of musical interest in middle school but quit after he entered high school. Gregor was in a serious car crash during college that left him amnesiac for a year before some of his memories returned. He now owns a restaurant and sticks close to home. Wolffe often comes around to check up on him because his brain injury still impacts his current life in small physical and emotional dips

Kit Fisto: Kit gives off mad trombone vibes and it’s mostly because he seems incredibly laid back. He’s one of those brass players who’s just a nice guy and while jokes around, never got pulled into jokes as a student.

Shaak Ti: like I said above, Shaak Ti is most definitely a harpist. She has that ethereal quality I think is common in harpists. She’s a tall Indian woman and she loves her job! She’s a private lesson teacher and instructor at the conservatory on top of her job in the orchestra since she’s not called in often to play. She loves all her students and gives good hugs.

Mace Windu: Mace is the director of the Jedi Symphony, the orchestra which almost everyone is involved with. He is a bass player and he likes his more classical pieces over contemporary music. He’s good friends with Yoda and sometimes the old troll has to wack some sense into Windu and have him take on newer pieces. Windu 100% gives off unhinged director vibes because mistakes and lazy musicians definitely don’t end after high school/college is over.

Quinlan Vos: this lil shithead definitely is the obnoxious, slightly arrogant, but kind of deserving of that, percussionist. He loves his snare drum and is also in the drumline. He’s the same age as Obi-Wan and the two are close friends. Quinlan is definitely slightly unhinged and is always at the back of the bus causing havoc after competitions. He’s the guy that I (OP) hate but also can’t help but respect cuz yeah he’s annoying but at least he’s good.

Aayla Secura: Aayla is Quinn’s half-sister, and plays the French horn. Again, like Cody, she’s got this air of professionalism that I associate with French horn players and like, we gotta represent the girls in brass somehow. She just fits it really nicely.

I feel like now is the time to list who’s still in conservatory and who isn’t: Obi-Wan, Anakin, Rex, Cody, Jesse, Quinlan, Padmé, and Satine are all recent graduates. Ahsoka, Aayla, Fives, Echo, Tup, Dogma, and Hardcase are still in conservatory (at varying years of course). Kix and Bo are entering med school/frantically applying and banging their heads cuz MCATs. Wolffe and Gregor are older and have been in the field for quite some time now. Plo, Kit, Shaak, and Mace are all faculty/seasoned professionals.

Somehow, I was gonna bring in The Skiratas (with proper research cuz I know very little about them), Dooku, Ventress, the Oppress siblings, rest of Domino Squad, Cut Lawquene, the other CCs, and more. I designated a page out of my sketchbook for this and my oh my the flow chart was hella confusing. How I thought I was gonna handle that in the summer before my first year of college, I have no idea. Maybe I’ll brainstorm more in the future but for now, this is all I have :]]]

Also excuse some of my slightly unhinged language I started writing this a few days ago while slightly unfocused and tired and stressed so my language is a product of that

#star wars #meta #musician au #my thoughts #I miss marching band so fucking much #I miss DCI #and WGI #miss the community #even if it was pretty stressful at times cuz drama #people love their drama in band #I don’t blame them you get sick of people after band camp #star wars au

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monotonous-minutia · 3 years

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I don't know if you've answered this before, but what would be your top 10 Hoffmann (filmed) productions?

actually I haven't been asked this question in particular, mostly general favorite opera productions that some of these always end up on. As you all know I have a probably-unhealthy obsession with this opera, so this’ll likely get kinda long. Because I’m me, I will be including brief analysis of each one on the list.

Mostly in this order, though it might change slightly from day-to-day:

1) Met 2009/2015 I rave about this one often enough it's probably fairly obvious why. I count them as one because it's the same production (the utterly delightful and incredibly gay Sher staging) so very similar, but if I had to pick between the two of them, I'd pick the 2009 one, personally. 2) La Scala 1995 Not only is this the gayest Hoffmann I've ever seen, it's also very possibly the gayest opera production I’ve ever seen, period. Like seriously, the gay just does not stop unless Hoffmann and Nicklausse simply aren't onstage, but every second they are, holy heck. It's almost unbearable. The production itself is so-so, but the cast is fabulous: Shicoff and Mentzer bringing in the gay as Hoffmann and Nicklausse, respectively; Samuel Ramey being suitably diabolical as the villains; Natalie Dessay being the greatest Olympia ever; and Denyce Graves being my second-favorite Giulietta (drop-dead amazing). Only sad part is we don’t get the trio des yeux. I would seriously die to see this cast do that number. 3) Munich 2013 This one is just delightful in every way. The edit is odd and a bit irritating at times, but the zany production, amazing cast (Damrau! Villazón! Relyea! Brower! did I mention Damrau!), and super-gayness make up for it. There's never not something going on, and there are some really unique staging choices that make it a stand-out production overall. 4) Brussels 1985 This one breaks my heart. Diana Montague is hands-down one of the cutest and gayest Nicklausses ever and the dynamic between him and Hoffmann is really something special. Production is unremarkable but the gayness level here is off the charts which I would have thought was illegal in 1985 but I am so grateful for it. Montague’s Violin Aria is unbelievable. I watch it when I feel like crying. 5) Orange 2000 Dislike the fact that it's the Choudens (abbreviated) edit, but aside from that, I love it: the cast is excellent (Dessay as Olympia yet again! José van Dam being awesome! Angelika Kirchschlager reigning as one of the cutest, gayest and sassiest Nicklausses ever! Plus: The Hair. and he gets the Violin Aria!!) and the production is pretty straightforward which is nice. The fact that it's outside on an open-air stage lends a really cool atmosphere, especially in the Antonia act. It's surprisingly gay for being the short version, though the very end is confusing and more than a little annoying. 6) Paris 2002 The production itself is not my favorite (though certain parts of it are growing on me) but I love that we get Shicoff and Mentzer again as an incredibly gay Hoffmann/Nicklausse team. Not as gay as the La Scala one, but still one of the gayest ever. You really cannot beat these two as this dynamic duo. Not to say others aren't also great, but these two just have such intricate chemistry and wonderful interpretations of their characters and their relationship, it's really on a level of its own. Plus, they're both really adorable, though this Hoffmann isn't quite as nice as his La Scala incarnation. 7) Zurich 2021 Still talking about this one quite a bit, so I won't say too much, just the basics. No huge names in the cast, but they're all pretty great, in particular Nicklausse and Antonia. It's very gay and the production is quirky and fun. Plus, it's about as close to the Kaye edit as you're likely to find, so there's a lot of really cool material you can't find anywhere else. There are some annoying cuts (chunks of recits missing, no Septet) and I am super not a fan of the very end of it, but aside from that, I love the interpretations of the characters and the fact that the sets, costumes, and staging are fairly straightforward. 8) ROH 1981/2016 This one's fun and cute, very classic, though burdened by some unfortunate cast members. Mostly I love Powell's Nicklausse/Muse. It's the short version which is also irritating, but the interpretation of Nicklausse is surprisingly gay in spite of that. 9) Barcelona 2013 This one almost exclusively for the cast--Losier, Spryres, Naouri, Kim, and Dessay (though as Antonia this time!). It's odd to say I'm not a fan of the production itself, because usually I love anything Pelly does. The aesthetic is dark and atmospheric but there are some significant staging choices I'm not a fan of. It's kind of the Kaye edit so that's cool to see, especially because it's the dialogue version which includes lines not seen elsewhere (like the Pylades/Pollux one I so adore). The very best thing about this one is Michèle Losier's Nicklausse. Though this production doesn’t make my top 5, Losier's Nicklausse does, hands-down. Her expressions, her boundless energy, the sass, the Gay, and that ethereal voice. Just fantastic and definitely one of my favorite roles for her. I could watch her as Nicklausse forever. 10) Macerata 2005 The production is unremarkable itself, and the edit is kinda odd (we get half the trio des yeux, half of the Violin Aria, and the ending Muse monologue, but no beginning Muse monologue). BUT, I adore Maurus as Nicklausse. So gay, very adorable, cheeky, and fun. And I love that outfit.

and there you have it! Probably way more information than you wanted, but here it is XD I could talk about this opera forever so I really appreciate the ask!

#asks #Les contes d'Hoffmann #The Tales of Hoffmann #opera #opera tag #opera asks

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alextriestowritestuff · 4 years

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Mark of Athena Re-read

Hey guys! If you’ve been keeping up with my last couple of posts, you’ll know I’ve been re-reading the Heroes of Olympus (HoO) series by Rick Riordan, starting with the Son of Neptune. If you want to my thoughts on it (spoilers included) and my background with the series, click here. I made a little bit of rant post about my feelings about the HoO series overall so far and you can find that here! This post will be about the Mark of Athena (MoA) and as always, spoilers abound.

Soooo y’all...I think this book is worse than the Lost Hero. I feel so bad for saying that bc I hated tLH (Like I’d give that book 2 stars) but god, this was so bad. No wonder I forgot what happened when I originally read it. Before I get into it, I will say I’m usually not negative in my ‘reviews’-I’ll give credit where it’s due (I did that in tSoN with Hazel and Frank who weren’t really my fav characters to start with) but this book has very little redeemable aspects imo. So I’ll start with the thing I was most irritated about: Piper.

Piper...Piper...Piper. Gods, none of her chapters ever passed the Bechdel test. I DESPISE her and I hated every single one of her chapters. With characters like Frank, I admitted that sometimes his chapters were a bit boring but I never hated the guy’s narration. Piper, however, is an insecure hypocrite. Let me show you.

So at one point, Annabeth, Piper, and Hazel meet up with Aphrodite. The POV is Annabeth’s and while Aphrodite is talking to them, it seems like Piper is just embarrassed to have her around.

“Mother!” Piper said. “You’re embarrassing me.” “Well, I don’t see why,” the goddess said. “Just because you don’t appreciate my fashion tips, Piper, doesn’t mean the others won’t. I could do a quick makeover for Annabeth and Hazel, perhaps silk ball gowns like mine—” “Mother!”

And a few lines later she says again “ ‘Mother, Piper said, “is there a reason you’re here?’” (30).

Okay so someone tell me why this girl says 10 pages later “But also, Piper was secretly hurt not to have her mother to herself. Aphrodite had barely looked at her. She hadn’t said a word about Jason. She hadn’t bothered explaining her conversation with Reyna at all. It was almost as if Aphrodite no longer found Piper interesting. Piper had gotten her guy. Now it was up to her to make things work, and Aphrodite had moved on to newer gossip as easily as she might toss out an old copy of a tabloid magazine” (40). LIKE GIRL MAKE UP YOUR MIND. Do you want your mom’s attention or not? But I’m highkey interested in what Aphrodite said to Reyna tho.

Let’s talk about Reyna for a second. First off, I feel so bad for her?? Percy turned her down-fine, he has a gf. Then I thought Jason had feelings for her but he says this in MoA, page 19: “It’s just…I never felt that way toward Reyna,” Jason said, “so I didn’t think about its making you uncomfortable. You’ve got nothing to worry about, Pipes”. Like damn can Reyna get any love?? I get that he doesn’t like her anymore since he met Piper but to have never liked her? That’s rough. And notice how this quote is from page 19, but again on p. 40, Piper is still so insecure in their relationship. I don’t she’s listened to a word he said at all. Then towards the end of the book, she says oh I love you but she literally didn’t know the man’s age prior to that. Like what?? Did they even kiss this book? I think like once lmao. Also speaking of the birthday thing, Piper says this while she waits for Jason to blow out his birthday candles.

“Well?” she urged. “Blow out the candles.”

Jason did. Piper wondered if he’d made a wish—hopefully that he and Piper would survive this quest and stay together forever. She decided not to ask him. She didn’t want to jinx that wish, and she definitely didn’t want to find out that he’d wished for something different.

Me @ Jason: This your girl? Come get her. Because Imma hurt her feelings. What do you mean you want him to wish to stay together forever? He should wish for Gaea to you know die so everyone can be safe. If I ever met Piper in person, I’d fight her. ON SIGHT.

In a related note, I’ve got nothing to say about Jason. He was fine. He passed out alot during this book, didn’t do much for how hyped his powers are supposed to be. I will say when he and Percy were possessed and they fought each other, Percy totally won that fight. He knocked Jason the hell out and was about to end his whole career until Piper got Blackjack to knock him out. But overall, I think Jason’s rather bland and him and Piper have NO chemistry. But I don’t think he deserves insecure Piper as a girlfriend. She’s a whole ass child of Aphrodite and she’s worried about her relationship...let me move on.

My main issue with the book lies in the structure and plot. The previous two books had 3 narrators and each set of trio had a specific prophecy assigned to them-i.e: Percy, Hazel and Frank had to free death, retrieve the eagle. The prophecies are a catalyst to get them to go on the quest. And then obviously, we have the overarching prophecy of the seven that will come to fruition in small chunks until the last book of the series. That’s fine. So the issue with MoA is that now Rick is handling seven characters + Coach Hedge (like why was he necessary??). He has 4 POVs which threw me the hell off bc we had 3 in the previous two books and honestly, I think we could’ve gone without one of them (Percy’s actually). As a writer, it’s hard to balance multiple characters in the same setting constantly. If they have a conversation, one or two of them will have less lines because other characters have already said them. Therefore to give everyone adequate ‘screen time’, Rick had to separate them by keeping groups of three or two on their own side quest. As a result, however, reading the book felt like I was being brake checked constantly. Ex-We follow Percy, Frank, and Hedge to an Aquarium then we follow Annabeth, Hazel, and Piper to meet Aphrodite, then they encounter the Romans, then Piper and Jason meet Hercules and get the horn and so on. Like they’re constantly shifting and doing stuff but not going as a group so it feels like I’m constantly trying to catch up. There’s too many pit stops for my liking. And I deadass have no idea what most of it had to with the MoA prophecy.

This disjointed-ness is what makes me rate it lower than tLH. Because while I didn’t like Piper or Jason in that book, it was still cohesive. There was a plot and it was followed. Another reason I might feel this way toward MoA is because Rick has a formula and it’s starting to be predictable. Think about the original Greek myths-there’s one main demigod like Hercules, there’s a quest, there’s godly interference so it makes sense the the PJO/HoO characters have the same thing. But all this talking to gods (esp gods we’ve already met like Aphrodite) is taking up so much space and slowing the plot. It also didn’t help that the minor villians in this book are all unlikeable?? All they did was talk. Otis and Ephialtes. Porchy and Keto. Arachane. All they did was talk. Here’s how to defeat a PJO/HoO villain: con them to help you/let you go or fight them. That’s it.

This book is where I started to really regret reading the series. Like I was just over it. The plot was somehow slow and all over the place at the same time. The last couple of chapters were good because I was like finally, something relevant to the prophecy is happening.

Let me leave you guys with some positives about this book though:

1. Annabeth’s POV. What a gal. When she faces Arachane, Annabeth mentions that she doesn’t have an active power like the other Seven but she has her intelligence. And I’m like yes girl, you are brave and everything I want to be. I would read the PJO series from her POV over this series.

2. Percabeth. They kept promising to come back to each other and my heart melted. Percy was so worried about letting her go follow the Mark but he knew it’s what she had to do and he let her go. And ugh, them falling got me all over again. And like just their chemistry is off the charts. Piper and Jason could never.

3. Percy’s comments about Luke. Percy realizes that he’s around Luke’s age when Luke went all ‘Gods are bad, their children are pawns’ and like I get chills from reading that passage because you can tell Percy’s tired. He can’t have a life because of these quests, he’s constantly moments away from dying. He never really got a chance to be a teenager. And I get he wants to help people and keep the world from being taken over by bad guys but he’s also human. He’s seen demigods die...he’s traumatized. Like Percy, I really understand Luke better now (right idea, wrong execution) and l see how tired Percy is.

4. The Leo/Hazel/Frank disaster of a love triangle. Like I’ve mentioned before, I want Hazel, a THIRTEEN YEAR OLD child, to be left the hell alone when it comes to romance. But because Uncle Rick insists on pairing up everyone, I have to oblige. So here I am. The amount of times I cackled at Frank and Leo’s digs at each other is astronomical. Like shots were fired, no one held back. I was like is this even MG/lower end of YA anymore with all this salt?? Over the years I’ve been spoiled about the series so I know that Leo somehow ends up with Calypso so I know nothing will come out of the love triangle (and it seems to be wrapping up bc Leo and Frank complimented each other’s abilities toward the end there) but passive aggressive-ness was peak.

5. Every single conversation between Reyna and Annabeth. Like two powerhouses talking about wanting to save their camps and the world. I loved it. Hands down. I hope they can be friends when this is all over.

6. And lastly, the reunion of Percabeth. The Judo flip. The fact that Percy talked about having a future with her.

Thanks for reading if you made it down here and I’ll see you guys in a couple of days with my House of Hades update. This book and the one after it I’m reading for the first time ever so I’m going in semi blind (like I said, I know some spoilers). I’m currently on chapter 2 or 3 of that and ermm, it was a weak intro but I’ll keep going :) rooting for Percabeth to make it through.

#Mark of Athena #Percy Jackson #Percabeth #HoO #Read with me #alextriestowritestuff #writeblr #not writing #reyna ramirez arellano

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marisa-writes · 4 years

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hiiii! have some fun 1daaw questions!!: out of what you've written so far for different strokes, what scene has been your favourite to write? what has been the hardest for you to write? what was the initial inspiration/idea behind their story? what made you write it as a oneshot/drabble series? which side character is your fave to write? what motivates you the most when it comes to writing? what do you think is the hardest part about writing? who are three authors you admire? enjoy!! x

HIIII LEESH, WHAT A DARLING YOU ARE.

1) out of what you've written so far for different strokes, what scene has been your favourite to write?

Oh my goodness. My absolute favorite? There are so many scenes I’ve written for them that I adore, but...in the second half of ‘boring,’ Georgia is seducing Liam while he attempts to make a phone call to cancel their dinner reservations, and the whole thing is just filled with so much humor and their off-the-charts chemistry and I just ADORE it.

2) what has been the hardest for you to write?

Very little has been hard to write for them, to be honest. I know them so well that they’ve been such a joy and a breeze to write most of the time. The fourth part of Checkpoints, however, was one I definitely felt a little more challenged to write because it deals with loss and grief, and that loss and grief is experienced by Georgia, but the story is from Liam’s point of view. I wanted to make sure that Georgia’s feelings were understood and also to show that helplessness with Liam that we often feel when someone we love is grieving and we don’t know how to make things better for them.

3) what was the initial inspiration/idea behind their story?

I had a desire to write a Liam-centric one-shot. I’d started reading 1D fic on 1DFF, and while I hadn’t expected that I would eventually want to write it myself, that’s what happened. I’d fallen into an abyss of watching videos and whatnot on YouTube and also deep-dove into the Liam tag on Tumblr after a few glasses of wine and I just...well, I was 1D af.

I tossed around a few ideas and was dabbling with some chapter-length story ideas, but it was close to New Year’s Eve and I really wanted to write a one-shot centered around that theme. Nothing came to me until literally RIGHT BEFORE the New Year, so once the words started flowing, I had it: Liam out on New Year’s Eve with his significant other, the monumental moment of the Midnight Kiss...and what if both of them wanted to prolong any kissing until the clock struck twelve?

4) what made you write it as a oneshot/drabble series?

That first one-shot, to be honest. I really didn’t expect to go further with them, but in that small snippet, I’d developed a family. Suddenly I had all these thoughts to explore in my mind about Liam, his wife, and their (at that time) six-month-old son. What would Liam look like as a husband? As a father?

I’ve always been a fan of domestic bliss, so I wanted to write about it. I am also a fan of the way we share our lives in glimpses and wanted to do the same with them. What would happen if we dropped in on this trio from time to time, as Carter got older, as their family grew? I liked the idea of tackling chapters of their lives, little peeks inside their relationship as it evolved over time.

One-shots are also my bread-and-butter. I love writing short stories, and a series of one-shots and rabbles was a perfect approach for these characters.

5) which side character is your fave to write?

I mean...Carter. Carter James Payne is the sweetest little fictional darling and getting to drop in every once in a while to see him growing up has been delightful to both write and share.

6) what motivates you the most when it comes to writing?

The characters. I have always been a character-driven person, even with the television I watch. I used to watch TV the way I read now, getting fully invested in characters and championing them. Plot is always, always important, but it truly is character driven and I like to write about people because I like to explore the ways in which life challenges us, shatters us, surprises us, betters us. I want people to walk away from my stories caring about the people I’m writing about.

7) what do you think is the hardest part about writing?

Often, it’s finding motivation when life around you is chaotic. My mental health has often been a hurdle for me because while it is one of the main reasons I have taken refuge in writing (it helped me find myself), it’s often difficult to find inspiration when your brain is overwhelmed with a lot of real-life stuff. When my life is disorganized, my brain is disorganized, and it’s tough to keep writing through the muddle and be satisfied with what you churn out - if you churn out anything at all.

8) who are three authors you admire?

@finding--cat - I have now known Cat for over a decade, and her friendship means more to me than I can probably ever properly express. I admire her as a writer because she has this ability to make her characters undeniably human, and you find yourself relating to them and rooting for them at every turn.

@wokeuptired - Natasha is an educator like me, which means I adore her on a personal level because we understand each other’s work worlds very well. As a writer, I admire her because she is SO GOOD with imagery! The pictures she paints in my mind are so fully evolved when I read. There is also something about the way she writes sentences that always makes me stop and go ‘Damn.’

I’m gonna double tag on this one but: @nightingiall and @stylishmuser - when I was more of an avid writer around these parts, you didn’t see many people writing about women of color. Me and @madminniefics spent a lot of time writing about black and (in RJ’s case) Afro-Latina women because we didn’t see people like us reflected in the works we read very often. Seeing Palak and Jess spend their time using their creativity to create stories centered around Indian women is so refreshing and NECESSARY. I love seeing brown women having their stories told. It’s so important. And both do storytelling so well.

Thank you again for these, Leesh! You’re a rock star!

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doomedandstoned · 4 years

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Norwegian Doomers Jointhugger Launch Juggernaut of a Record

~Doomed & Stoned Debuts~

By Billy Goate

I got into JOINTHUGGER through the gentle nudging of my fellow Doom Charts contributors. The single from their debut LP had just recently dropped and I was prepared to greet it with a fair bit of cynicism, which I'm sorry to say is inevitable with our rapidly mushrooming scene. Two things I listen for in every new band I encounter: strong execution (I mean really owning it) and a distinct voice (they can stand out from the pack as memorable). I'm happy to say that the doom metal trio from Norway met the criteria and then some, making them a welcome addition to the heavy underground. Some days later, I encountered their 4/20 show online and witnessed the band pull off their live sound with great heart.

Jointhugger's debut LP, 'I Am No One' (2020), opens with the intriguingly titled "In Dire Need of Fire, Chapter 1." The song begins with gentle smarks, but quickly catches flame and grows in severity until we are confronted with a massive, slow-burning torrent of fuzzy bass, bruising beats, and doleful outbursts of guitar. As the song progresses, the mood turns revelrous as the fire dances, gleefully lighting up the night sky.

Jointhugger are not an "instrumental metal" band, though judging by that first number they could capably hold their own in this evocative, wordless territory. No, we're just getting warmed up, as it were. On to the title track! "I Am No One" follows in the proud stoner tradition of Sleep and BelzebonG, building upon a solitary riff that moves at a groovy, walking pace, then ratcheting it up in volume and intensity, layer upon layer (including some furious tremolo action). Oh, and we get to hear vocals for this one. I could definitely see this song being a crowd favorite to raise fists to.

The fantastic chemistry of the group is showcased further on the third track, "Domen," which turns each player loose to do their special thing -- Tore with his monstrously fuzzy bass tone, Nico with his jazzy, psychedelic riffslaying, and Dan with some damned fine drumming that belies his black metal background.

It's rare to find a band that comes across with such ferocity. You can feel the conviction in every note, the passion in every beat. "We bleed this," the band recently confided to Doomed & Stoned interviewer Svempa Alveving, adding that this album represents "years of angst from pushing so hard to exist, to get by, to fucking survive."

You can really feel that spirit coming alive on the closing track, "Nightfright," which takes its cue from the drums this time around, presenting us with a hammering five-note motif that'll make you feel like the head of the nail (trust me, it's a good thing). Perhaps the most catchy and indelible of the lot for me. I'll surely be revisiting this track in many of my future playlists.

With a name like Jointhugger, I'm sure your stereotypes about stoner-doom have already been triggered. However, it'd be a grave error to pass by these Norwegian heavies. I Am No One has been simmering in the cauldron for some time and is now cooked to perfection, demonstrating some amazing musicianship and stellar songwriting. Today, Doomed & Stoned is pleased to give you an advance listen to the new album in its entirety, which emerges this weekend on vinyl and digital formats via Interstellar Smoke Records (pre-order). For fans of Monolord, Vokonis, Magmakammer, and other standouts of the doom underworld!

Give ear...

I Am No One by Jointhugger

Some Buzz

Jointhugger play heavy, cosmic, forest doom straight from middle earth. Their odyssey into killer doomrock began in 2012, and the underground, Norway based trio have since been known to deliver an immensely deep doom metal experience with a lead-heavy, lo-fi, super psyched out sound.

Incorporating melodic framing with grooved-out black and thrash elements, bluesy tones, wicked fuzz and heavy distortion, Jointhugger deftly interweaves focused and thundering repetitive riff refrains with ernest, compelling vocals and psychedelic instrumental interludes. Evoking a deeply hypnotic state, Jointhugger’s hard-hitting sound throws the listener into a ritualistic journey towards a smokey realm of the occult, tales of self reliance and empowerment, smoking as a means for self exploration, perception and realisation along the road of the human experience and travels through space and time.

Jointhugger has been shrouded in an air of mystery as their super- charged live performances and loyal, local following had created quite a buzz in the underground Norwegian doom scene though since their inception in 2012 they’d not yet released any formal, recorded material to the world.

On April 20th, 2019, their long awaited “Daemo” was unleashed, an authentic DIY display of raw, down and dirty, lo-fi, psych-steeped doom goodness. Soon after the release of “Daemo”, Jointhugger’s track “Domen” was included on the Weedian Vol. 3 Compilation on Blues Funeral Records, and in January 2020 the band were signed to Interstellar Smoke Records. In keeping with the date of tradition, Jointhugger’s highly anticipated, first, full length album is due for release digitally and on vinyl May 1st, 2020.

Jointhugger are full speed ahead on making their mark on the Norwegian doom scene and beyond having shared the stage with the likes of Weedeater, Truckfighters, The Midnight Ghost Train, Saint Karloff, and many more, and have made appearances at Midgardsblot, Svart Oktoberfest and Blitzfest among others.

Follow The Band

Get Their Music

#D&S Debuts #Jointhugger #Horten #Norway #Doom #Metal #Doom Metal #Interstellar Smoke Records #HeavyBest2020 #D&S Reviews #Doomed & Stoned

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beeexx · 5 years

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Some spoilers for the rise of skywalker in this post lads, so look the other way if you don’t want them spoilers.

I saw The Last Jedi yesterday and honestly I don’t understand how J J messed it up like this...

That said let’s start with what I did like: -The trio! They are really great together and have really good chemistry and the banter is off the charts. I enjoyed seeing them all on their adventure. -I am not a fan of Kylo Ren/Ben Solo, I have never been. However Adam Driver is a really good actor and he is so good in this role that it just works. Even I must say that I can buy into the redemption arc of him even if I didn’t think he should have had one. And the reason for that is because Adam really gets the most to do with his character, there is so much there to work from that it turns out pretty decent. Also he did smile once and that was pretty cute lmao. -Finn and Poe act like a married couple honestly. I will forever be angry about them not being canon but they bicker and it’s hella entertaining. -Poe wrecking the Falcon and arguing with Rey about it and BB-8, I laughed. -Like the humour is there and it cracked me up a few times. -3-CPO was a blast too. -The locations are really cool!

But then apart from that it really did disappointment me and I don’t even know where and how to begin to unpack it. Honestly I feel sad because I went into the film expecting to love it, maybe not all of it, but much of it at least, and it feels so disheartening that this is the end of the Skywalker saga. The film has such a strange pacing and the first half of it felt very disjointed and confusing and also really really rushed. It’s like the mission they embark on don’t make any sense and then they start planet hopping and I was like my bran can’t keep up with this all. There was no tension in the film, no stakes and no surprises. I am one of the few people it feels like that actually like The Last Jedi and that movie completely changed the game plan for a Star Wars movie. It was different and it was shocking and it tried to display a different kind of take on heroism. This just feels really flat compared to that. I don’t think I was shocked once in this whole film.

Should we start with Finn? I love Finn and I think John Boyega was the star of The Force Awakens, he was so good. I liked him in the last jedi too even though I can agree he was maybe a little underused in it. That said his arc and storyline in the last jedi is very very important! I think we forget that because it doesn’t feel impactful in the same way as maybe for Poe and Rey. But also because John has expressed some unhappiness with where his character went in it, which I also understand coming from his perspective. I think it feeds into the dislike of the film now too. But I still think his story matters. In this I was expecting more, and also because John Boyega was so excited about it. It makes me feel really sad that I have to say this about his character now then... But he was completely underserved in this too. It’s so frustrating because I want everything good to be given to him, but it just doesn’t happen. He’s definitely part of the action and of the trio, but he just never seems to get his own individual storyline...This movie makes out his and Rey’s bond to be very strong, I get that, and I see that’s what they tried to do. But it just doesn’t work, because while Rey’s story is very much about who she is and identity and trying to find answers and understanding her anger it really feels like Finn for most of the movie is there just to chase after her...Rey is always taking off and doing her own thing it feels like he’s trying to keep up with her. Then it was finally confirmed that he was force sensitive, and while I do love that, it also just felt like a throwaway thing. Nothing really happens with that either. When he meets Jannah that felt very shortlived too. I liked their little talk but even that didn’t get to me too much....It just feels flat, all of it. He’s at his best when he is with Poe, I have to say but even Poe’s bad character development echoes how everything just feels kind of pointless. When they win in the end and Finn looks around, he has a really emotional smiling moment, but the battle felt boring and unexciting that when he smiles like that it doesn’t feel like it’s been earned. I did like the scene for what it represent for Finn though. He comes from nothing, a stormtrooper defector who only wanted to save Rey and didn’t care about much else, to this, resistance General and the liberator of the galaxy that will know peace. He has come a long way, and for that it was beautiful. His hug with Poe and Rey in the end was also beautiful, yet also did feel a little meh as well. But I looked at it from the point of view of a good bye from all three of them to us and to their characters. And how they were all included in that hug it was really nice to see.

Okay so Poe then. My all time favourite man. God I love him. I loved that he was out of the cockpit and in the heat of battle and action. Oscar Isaac is in great form and when he is sarcastic and moody, damn lads that I found entertaining as hell. But he too has no character development whatsoever, or maybe he does, it just feels rushed over and weird. He is so funny with Rey and with Finn, and I did like the inclusion of the fights and disagreements they all had. That felt really realistic. I read Poe’s sarcastic and snippy and moody comments and general mood as an outward front he put up, from the desperation he was beginning to feel about the war and how it was going for them. He didn’t want to show to everyone that he was beginning to feel doubt about it all. But I honestly don’t know if that was the actual case with him, but I kind of read it as such to give him some depth. It also made sense that he and Rey would clash because they have similar emotions that drives them that ultimately would make them argue. And then Finn in the middle trying to appease them both, very funny. But that’s about as far as it goes for me, funny. Which felt like it defeated the point of this movie, which is supposed to be emotional. When he and Finn actually fight about what Rey did and Poe says that he is not Leia and Finn says You’re damn right you’re not (something like that) I actually flinched with Poe. Damn that was really harsh....and then they didn’t even talk about it after...which to me made the whole “I can’t do it on my own will you lead the resistance with me” moment feel in bad test...They should have had an actual conversation about it because if Finn had apologized and explained what he meant then Poe offering Finn the position alongside him would have actually felt good and important and really nice... Instead it seems to just serve no point than getting the narrative forward rather than the characters growing from it. Then I got to say him and Zorri were not as bad as I thought they would be. It’s unclear when Poe was a spice runner in the timeline but he was, and the joke between him and Finn when Finn finds it out is very funny. Possibly the funniest moment in the film. But Poe and Zorri as a couple felt very forced and very hetero but also a little kind of made fun off in a way I guess. It felt kind of unconfirmed by the end, even after his *hey you wanna have sex face* (which no one would have been able to say no to, hello) and it’s just left like that.... But anyways, because of the character development he had in the last jedi, he felt like he was back on square one and stayed there the rest of the movie... I don’t even know... it’s just such a shame with this.... It does feel to me though that they did not put any emotional Finn and Poe scenes in there because it would be toooooooo gaaaaaaaaayyyy for everyone or some bs, but because of that both Finn and Poe suffers as characters.

I’ve always been a fan of Rey, I think she’s cool and interesting, and the fact that I felt annoyed at her for a big chunk of the movie makes me annoyed at myself too because I can’t really figure out why that is. Also she’s a Palpatine, I rolled my eyes soooo hard to that. Oh my God??? Like seriously??? Stupid. Also I don’t care, and also why does she even have to be related to a previous jedi??? Why is star wars still obsessed with fathers....The best thing would have been to just leave it like Rian did because why again do you need to be related to someone to has the force??? That makes zero sense, COME ON! But Rey also felt very angry the whole movie, to the point where I did not understand where it originated from. And maybe that was the point? I don’t even know by this point but to me it felt a little ooc. Rey is just the one I am having the hardest time to pin down my emotions too so I feel like I can’t. I also rolled my eyes when in the end she said her name was Rey Skywalker.....ugh she really should have just said nothing at all. Just Rey. Also she ended her arc alone with BB-8 on Tattoine, why?? Like the ending was left weirdly open and I think we would have all enjoyed a scene with her and Finn more where they actually did some talking about everything, which felt like it didn’t happen...Daisy is really good as well in this, because she has time to do some developing I think. I have to at least say that, her story is strange, but Daisy has done some good acting in this.

The third act of the film is just boring??? Palpatine is creepy in the beginning but then he ends up being pretty lame lol...Like ugh that’s all I feel about that and then the battle in the end, it never managed to get intense or worrying as an audience. I didn’t feel any desperation for any of them...Like Poe didn’t know what to do but we all knew Lando was coming back. There really was no stakes in it at all... I’m just disappointed about it to be honest.

I am fuming about Rose Tico though. The absolute disrespect of J J to leave her out like that!!! She has like 3 lines and she is not in it all, she makes no impact, her lines could have been left to a minor character, WHICH SHE IS NOT. Same with Jannah, she was pretty much just there, not fleshed out at all. God it makes me angry to think about what this movie did with women of colour.........

Let’s not talk about the queer ‘blink and you miss it’ representation because also that is bs.

This film also undid everything the last jedi did and that feels disrespectful too, and also just thinking about it? Which audience did J J really think he was impressing upon since everyone literally hates this film....God it makes me want to be in the room for when this was made just to hear his thought process. Because to me it makes like zero sense... I don’t want to be negative and maybe I will need to rewatch this again to feel some positive emotions but now all I feel is MEH.

#the rise of skywalker #the rise of skywalker spoilers #spoilers #tros #tros spoilers #finn #poe dameron #rose tico #rey #ben solo #rants #star wars #I will just go and write my titanic au

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