#just worked another 5-6 weeks in the hell I already knew

[ballsballsbowls]

It occurred to me that I THINK the 17th is the one-year anniversary of leaving the worst job I have ever worked for what is easily the best job I have ever worked.

I hope the past year has brought you immeasurable physical and psychological pain, guys. It’s what you deserve <3

[star-rie]

when your servant is a little shite

-----------------------

Then Merlin looks at Gaius, who’s sitting there, eyeing him as if he knows what Merlin is going to do.

‘Merlin, no’

‘Merlin yes’

or

Merlin tests the limits of Arthur’s patience.

-----------------------

alternatively, ao3 link

original prompt

PART 1 (you're here), PART 2, PART 3, PART 4, PART 5, PART 6

-----------------------

It was another day of chores for Merlin. He sighs solemnly as he lazily mops the floor. He really wishes he didn’t have to, he’s tired of stopping yesterday’s weekly attempt at ending Arthur’s life. He wants another hour of sleep in his bed.

After tiredly wiping his eyes, he spends the next five minutes contemplating, before he eventually says, “Oh, what the hell” and drops the mop on the ground. It clunks loudly, sound echoing in the hall. It joins the sad, half-mopped floor next to a bucket of dirty water. Merlin doesn’t care, leaving his work unfinished. He doesn’t even bother to clean up.

He decides to spend his time on the windowsill instead, looking off to the field where Arthur is training. He looks so striking, even from afar. Moving swiftly to land on his opponent.

When Arthur gives a particularly harsh blow, he catches Merlin’s eyes. Merlin waves at him, and Arthur waves back, right after he knocks another knight off from his right. Merlin smiles dreamily, staring at Arthur’s handsome face. He looks so handsome, had Merlin said that already?

When Merlin finally leaves to join Arthur on the training ground after a back and forth of ‘I can’t hear you!’ Merlin hears a shrill screech.

Thinking it was the daily threat to Arthur's life, Merlin immediately hides behind a wall, ready to strike. But when he peers over it, he’s disappointed to find that it was someone from the royal court, Sir L...something

“MAIDS! GUARDS? ANYONE!” He shouts, stomping on his feet.

"Yes, sire,” George appears beside him. Merlin scoffs, bloody arse-licker.

“Who did this?” He points to the floor, right at Merlin’s unfinished work. Oops.

“I believe it’s...” Merlin is 100% sure he’s pausing here for dramatic effect. “I believe it’s Merlin, sire,” that rat! He was watching the whole time?!

“Merlin,” he repeats, and George nods.

“The King’s servant,” he said, totally unsurprised. Wow, a noble knows him!

"Well, I did see him on the windowsill back then, but he’s gone now." George points at the windowsill, Merlin swears he’s going to hex him.

“What’s going on?” Another noble that Merlin can’t name asks, horrified when he sees the floor. “You did this!?” he asks, his face furious.

"No, sire, it was Merlin." Merlin will make sure to make the hex last at least a week.

“Merlin.” face turning grim

“Yes”

“The King’s servant.” Merlin’s reputation surpasses himself.

"Yes,” George repeats, looking proud at himself. Let’s see if he’s still proud when Merlin hexed him later.

“Clean this, then you may go,” the noble orders. George bows, picks up the mop, and then starts to clean the floor with vigor.

The nobles nod in satisfaction, and oh, shite, they’re coming this way. Merlin stays still when they approach, thinking he’s going to get caught. But the nobles just walked past him. Wait, what? That's it?

The noble moans, “I can’t believe Arthur still keeps that troublesome, lanky!" The fact that they didn’t notice him is still beyond him.

The other noble immediately shushed him. “If Arthur hears that, you’re dead!”

“I don’t care! I’m tired of him!” he yelled, massaging his temple. “You do realize that most of our problems are somehow caused or intertwined by that servant. I knew that goblins didn’t come out of nowhere. Geoffrey saw him in the library before the thing happened!”

Merlin had to stifle a laugh. Okay, that was funny, really chaotic, and also his fault.

“And that one time when Arthur’s pants fell off. I think the rumors are true, he does indeed p—”

“Let’s stop right there, shall we?” The noble stops him, standing in front of him, “Sir Lunden," putting a hand on his shoulder. Oh, so that’s his name.

“We’ve established that Arthur is weirdly obsessed with the boy, even if he had...little to no redeeming qualities,” he sighs, squeezing his shoulder while muttering, ‘How he stays employed is beyond me’, then he turns serious.

“I know that his work ethics are a bit awful, and maybe he’s also mental in the head,” he inhales sharply as if preparing himself to say this. “But he is, at the end of the day, King Arthur’s servant, for years. And even if he gave us a lot of trouble, King Arthur trusts him, and as the royal house of Camelot, we should respect that.”

“You’re right,” Lunden said with finality. Merlin watches them with awe. Well, if they’re loyal to Arthur, Merlin thinks they’re not that bad.

“Have we talked about the time he spends on ‘the tavern’?" Nevermind

“I don’t think we ever do,” he said as they strode down the hall.

They were probably talking about Merlin’s regular disappearance when something really important happened. Merlin should probably be ashamed right now, the royal court is gossiping about him. But his thoughts are elsewhere.

“Oh, you” George said it with so much spite that it’s actually funny.

“Me!” Merlin grins as George walks past him. George gestures an ‘I’m watching you’ sign with his hands before turning around. Irritated, Merlin immediately chants and directs his spell at his bottom.

George jumps in surprise, spilling the bucket that he was holding and throwing off his mop. George glares at him as Merlin tries very hard not to laugh. George eventually scoffs before walking furiously away. Probably to find a cloth to clean up.

When he was gone, Merlin was laughing. Using his magic to expand the water’s volume. Turning the hall into a small lake. When he’s satisfied, he wipes a tear on his eye and turns directly to face—

“ARTHUR?!?!” He immediately stood straight, hands on his back, despite not holding anything. Shite, did Arthur see him using magic?

"Merlin,” Arthur said, as if holding a laugh. He pursed his lips multiple times, taking deep breaths before he eventually said, “Where were you? I told you to come immediately to the training field!”

"Sorry, um, sire." Arthur didn’t see him using magic, that’s good.

Arthur looks at the castastrophe behind him. He purses his lips again, holding a laugh. “Did you, um—pft-HRM—oh, sorry, sore throat, hm—“

He composes himself before saying, “Did you...” and laughs hysterically. Merlin immediately laughs with him. They both laugh like maniacs until Merlin has to support himself on the wall to stand.

“Oh my god, did you see the look on his face??” Arthur asks, out of breath, clutching his stomach.

“His face was so red, he might as well be George the tomato,” and then they laugh again at Merlin’s stupid joke, it’s not even that funny.

(“But it is funny!” Arthur exclaimed mid-laugh.)

They finally stop, taking deep breaths to calm themselves down.

“Did you do this?” Arthur said, finally, with even breaths.

“Uh no, sire,” Merlin said, silently agreeing it was George.

Arthur throws a knowing look at both him and the water. It stretches on until Merlin becomes so nervous that Arthur’s going to throw him into the dungeon. As he was about to explain himself, Arthur turned around and said, “Alright let’s go to the training field, Merlin.”

“Yes, the training field.” Merlin said in relief. He’s just overthinking; Arthur is too much of a buffoon that he wouldn’t notice, even if he’s doing magic in front of him.

“I heard that!” Arthur shouts

Shite, did Merlin say that out loud? "Sorry, sire, you’re such a buffoon that it’s a miracle your kingdom is still in one piece!”

Merlin dodges the furniture that was thrown at his face. Wait, how did Arthur know about George in the first place?!

[yanderecrazysie]

Oooh what about , manager Katsuki who always keeping the reader overtime and who be increasing or decreasing her pay check ?)

I would hate this boss so much omg like Bakugou is already a jerk WHYYY

Title: Let It Hurt

Pairings: Bakugou x Reader

WARNINGS: Yandere themes, harassment, Bakugou is a bad boss

Summary: Your boss makes your life hell, but, for some reason, he won’t fire you.

Part 2: here

“So let it hurt, let it bleed

Let it take you right down to your knees

Let it burn to the worst degree

May not be what you want, but it's what you need

Sometimes the only way around it

Is to let love do it's work.”

-from “Let It Hurt” by Rascal Flatts

When you first started this job, you were bright-eyed and excited, ready to experience 9-5 office life. Your co-workers were more than welcoming, but your boss was the exact opposite. At the time, you figured he was just having a bad day, but, really? It was just the first red flag of many.

Mr. Bakugou always worked you harder than anyone else. At first, you thought it was because you were new, and needed to learn things everyone else already knew.

But 6 months in and you’re being worked over 80 hours a week. Overtime isn’t paid extra, either.

Your paycheck fluctuates between nice bonuses and surprising raises that make you grateful for your grueling job or numbers that can’t possibly be correct with how absurdly low they are.

What Mr. Bakugou is doing is definitely illegal. You could definitely prove it. But you’re new to the working world and you gaslight yourself into believing it’s normal. You tell yourself it’s too much trouble to deal with HR and it’s uncertain if you could get another job on short notice.

That’s what you told yourself.

Until the harassment started.

Mr. Bakugou would hover over your work station, making snide comments about anything and everything.

“Don’t tell me you’re turning in that report as is.” “This is the best you can do?” “It’s just sad that it takes you so long to do something so simple.”

It stresses you out and makes you second-guess yourself, but it’s just the beginning.

You try to pretend that you don’t care when he sabotages your work in front of higher-ups and belittles you in front of your co-workers until tears are dripping down your face.

You try to pretend you don’t hear him when he calls you names and starts aiming his insults for the places they really hurt.

You try to pretend like he doesn’t bother you at all, and that you’re a purely professional woman. You save your tears for when everyone’s too busy to pay attention.

Mr. Bakugou’s got you convinced that you’re a failure- the worst employee in the whole office building. Every day, something goes wrong and you think “today’s the day I get fired”. You’re about ready to quit yourself.

So it’s a real shock when Mr. Bakugou promotes you, of all people, to his personal assistant. You consider turning him down, but it doesn’t really seem like he’s offering. You feel almost forced into accepting the role.

You were sure you’d be more miserable than ever as Mr. Bakugou’s personal assistant, since you’d have to be around him all the time, but it’s actually not too bad. He doesn’t hover over you judgmentally, though he doesn’t need to when he’s stationed you at the spare desk in his personal office.

The way he treats you is nearly inappropriate. He parades you around at meetings with a hand at your waist, and, if you were a braver woman, you’d report him for sexual harassment for that. He talks softer to you, brings you a cup of coffee when he grabs his, and he doesn’t insult you as often! There’s still mountainloads of overtime, but the pay is better and finally consistent.

Every problem seems miniscule now. You can easily brush past the red flags because they seem less bright and less dangerous than before.

Now that your job has improved, you can’t imagine quitting.

Little do you know, that’s exactly how “Mr. Bakugou” wants it to be.

[chaoticgoodthief]

Mission Archnemesis (Was A Catastrophic Failure)

George Valley Centre for Sisyphean Supers, File M-BS-5

Superhero Alias: Bullet Storm

Archnemesis: Midnight Devil, Lord of All Darkness, Master of the Fifth Spiral of Doom and Bane of Humanity

Mission Report: It all started on a gloomy Monday morning. I was drinking my coffee, which to my dismay had gone cold during my intense session of preparing for my first fight with my sworn nemesis. The Midnight Devil, Lord of All Darkness, Master of the Fifth Spiral of Doom and Bane of Humanity. After several hours of searching restlessly for clues about the villain’s secret base, I found it. A warehouse in the shady depths of the city. It had been believed to be abandoned for years, but I knew better. With my magnificent powers granted to me by my mysterious magical amulet, I punched down the door with a single blow! 

But alas, The Midnight Devil, Lord of All Darkness, Master of the Fifth Spiral of Doom and Bane of Humanity must have sensed my glorious presence, for he had already fled, leaving not a trace of his presence behind. Yet I did not give up. I relentlessly continued my search for the rest of the week, working day and night to scour every last inch of the city for clues to my archnemesis’ whereabouts. But alas, despite my valiant efforts, The Midnight Devil, Lord of All Darkness, Master of the Fifth Spiral of Doom and Bane of Humanity nimbly out of my clutches at every turn.

So I have returned, outwitted but not defeated, to gain my strength for the formidable battles ahead, no matter what form they may take. And I shall be prepared.

Signature: BS😎 

Diary of Midnight Devil, Lord of All Darkness, Master of the Fifth Spiral of Doom and Bane of Humanity, Page 20

Dear Evil Diary,

Today marks the first day that I, the most evil villain in all the land, shall finally be greeted with someone claimed to be a worthy foe. MUAHAHAHAHAHA! I have an evil scheme planned that will surely show them that no hero could ever overthrow my mighty and tyrannical rule! 

First, I shall send my most loyal sidekick, Mosquito, to muddle the path of their noble quest until they are completely lost! Then, should they somehow surpass this obstacle and find me, I will be draped seductively over my couch, holding a remote control in one hand and petting a cat with the other! And then the remote will activate my trap, The Horror of The Depths, Reaper of Pure Souls and Crusher of Dreams! MUAHAHAHAHAHA! It’s flawless I say, completely flawless!

The hero didn’t show up. Were my evil schemes not wicked enough for them to feel the heroic need to thwart me? Were my riddles not clever enough? Was my dark and secret villain basement too cliche? No. Of course not. I must have just been too bad for them, and they fled in fear of my power, only to return stronger after a mandatory training montage!

Who am I kidding? I CAN’T WAIT THAT LONG! Note to self: Get Mosquito to find me a new hero asap. The most pure-hearted in all of the land, the chosen one, the mighty saviour! Who needs a pathetic wimp like whatever loser couldn’t even bother to show up to my evil scheme? I will reign victorious! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Mosquito’s To-Do List 

Wash the dishes ✔️ 

Male sure your Pong score is higher than Elgye’s. That’ll piss him off ✔️ (Go me!)

Do the laundry ✔️

Automate the system so that Boss can stop waiting a whole hour signing his stupidly long villian name on every single document! ✔️

Pay rent ✔️

Thwart the new archnemesis  ✔️ (I didn’t even have to do anything! Free money, hell yeah!)

Cook dinner ✔️ (It’s always my turn. Ugh. Roommates.)

Evil cackle time with Boss ✔️ (He’s so dumb.)

George Valley Centre for Sisyphean Supers, File BS-6

Superhero Alias: Bullet Storm

Archnemesis: Midnight Devil, Lord of All Darkness, Master of the Fifth Spiral of Doom and Bane of Humanity

Mission Report: My tale begins on a foggy Saturday evening. I was on the way back to my secret base after another day relentlessly chasing after the Midnight Devil, Lord of All Darkness, Master of the Fifth Spiral of Doom and Bane of Humanity. Then, I saw him. A man obscured by shadows, trying to break into my secret base through the window! I checked the time, and much like I suspected, it was midnight. “Midnight Devil, Lord of All Darkness, Master of the Fifth Spiral of Doom and Bane of Humanity! I have caught you in the act!” I declared loudly, aiming a light in his direction.

Alas, he escaped back into the shadow before I could glimpse his face, nimble as the night itself! “Yes,” he growled, voice deep and muffled, “It is I. Find me on the Devil’s Lane next midnight, and we shall have our grand battle.” I refused, determined to catch him then and there! But like a demon returning to the pits of hell, he was gone. Nevertheless, I return victorious, with more information about the mysterious Midnight Devil, Lord of All Darkness, Master of the Fifth Spiral of Doom and Bane of Humanity than anyone has ever learnt before! And tomorrow, I will be victorious!

Signature: BS 😎

Diary of Midnight Devil, Lord of All Darkness, Master of the Fifth Spiral of Doom and Bane of Humanity, Page 23

Dear Evil Diary,

Today was a beautifully evil day! I, The Midnight Devil, Lord of All Darkness, Master of the Fifth Spiral of Doom and Bane of Humanity, have finally encountered my mortal enemy! I found him, walking through my very lair like he owned it, holding a folder full of my darkest secrets! 

He stood as still as a statue, clearly terrified by my mighty and powerful presence. “Are you the one that they call Bullet Storm? The only being believed capable of ever matching my unfathomable strength?” He stared back in noble silence, and I saw it all. His proud jaw, his golden hair, the subtle curves of muscle on his bare arms. Yes, I thought to myself, This is him. This is the one.

“Come, Bullet Storm, let us begin our glorious battle!” I declared, my cape waving dramatically behind me. But alas, Bullet Storm fled, as nimble as his name suggested. Nevertheless, my encounter with my fabled nemesis has sent villainous passion running through my veins. I began constructing my newest trap, a grand machine of unfathomable intricacy and evil glory. I shall name it the Hellfire Pit, Extinguisher of Light, Forge of the Darkest Flames and Death Bringer! And with it, I shall end this battle for once and for all! MUAHAHAHAHA!!!

Audio File Recorded By Mosquito, Deleted Immediately After Creation

“I don’t usually do this, but god, this week has been a mess. I’ll delete this after I’m done. Yeah, that’s a good move. Hell, I just need to say this insanity out loud.”

“First, I get caught by my roommate while trying to sneak back into the apartment. And for some reason, the dumbass thought I was my boss? So I just went along with it and it worked! God, he’s so stupid.”

“Then, I was leaving work without my suit to try avoid it happening again and my boss didn’t recognise me! He just thought I was his archnemesis for some reason? What is with me always falling in love with idoits? And why do I always play along?!”

“So now I’m playing the goddamn middleman for two conclusion-jumping morons. Why is this my life? What did I do to deserve this? …Ok, maybe that was a bad question, but still!”

New Satrie City Herald, pg 1

Two Rival Supers Fight Same Imposter

A small street on the edge of the city suddenly became lively with action last week when a pair of “eternal rivals” confronted each other. Despite believing to have fought each other for two years, neither recognised the other. And their true nemesis had been hiding just beneath their noses the entire time. More on page 3.

George Valley Centre for Sisyphean Supers, File BS-642

Superhero Alias: Bullet Storm

ID Number: 7188

Reason For Leave (please tick all that apply):

☐ Medical emergency

☐ Identity leak

☐ Pregnancy

☐ Career advancement

☐ Work commitments

☑ Familial obligations

☐ Jury duty / Court hearing

☐ Personal Illness

☑ Unexpected circumstances

☐ Religious holiday

☐ Death in family

☐ Doctor’s appointment

☑ Other (please specify):

I’M GETTING DOUBLE MARRIED!!!

Signature: BS 😎

@black-rose-events hope I'm not late!!!

[reallyromealone]

Hi there, can I request a part for eddie munson a/b/o fic where they have a kid. I had a small idea (you can do with it what you want) the idea was reader going into his first heat after having their kid. Sorry if this is too non-specific and if you don't feel like writing it, it's okay. Thank you ❤️

-🦝(can I be this anon if it's not already taken)

Yesyesyes

I was thinking of this but was too lazy to write it but now is my chance and don't worry about specifics Hun, I worked with less!

And sure! I really need to keep track of my anons

X

The doctors said it would take rough 6-8 weeks for (name) to get another heat after having (sons name) and to be ready because it would hit (name) like a truck.

The doctor also said it was more likely he would have more...paternal heats instead of a mating heat and honestly they were fine with it.

It was the early hours when Eddie smelt it and glanced over to see his angel wearing his shirt and with their two month old son and trying to fix the nest "hey baby, you need help?" (Name) whipped his head to look at his alpha and purred when he saw him without a shirt and handed the pup over before working on the nest, the tiny pup making little noises as he settled into his dad's chest.

Eddie had never seen (name) in a maternal heat though Dustin aways said he was very strange during it and Eddie could see why, he was almost in a trance making that nest and at the smallest sound was in defence mode.

"What a pretty nest baby... Keeping our pup safe, such a good boy" Eddie soothed his Omega who all but melted from his words and laughed slightly as (name) tugged him into the nest and snuggled into him and pulled (sons name) closer and the tiny pup just clung helplessly to his mama.

Eddie struggled not to fall into his instincts as he watched over his tiny pack, (name) dazed and whining when he moved an inch and constantly scenting and smooching him for attention, the warmth of the nest soothing as the couple scenting each other and (sons name).

When the doorbell rang (name) pulled their pup closer and moved further into the nest and closet as a whole and Eddie just soothed the Omega who was freaking out when the doorbell was rang repeatedly and knew immediately who was on the other side as he walked out of the room, closing the closet door to make sure his Omega was secure before throwing open the door to stare down the party who looked smug "jeez what took so long?" Mike said with a shit eating grin when Dustin smelt it "oh shit..." Causing the others save for Eddie to look at him confused "what?" Max asked with a tilt of the head "shit already!" He ignored Max's question and Eddie nodded "amazed he didn't follow you out"

"He's currently guarding (sons name)"

"What's going on?" El asked curiously and Eddie sighed "(name)s in heat" he said simply and Dustin took off his sweater and handed it to Eddie "here" Eddie took the sweater and ruffled his brother in law's hair "you need anything?" Lukas asked the elder alpha who nodded "I need you shits to get a case of water, easy but healthy snacks and diapers" he said grabbing his wallet and pulled out thirty dollars "this should cover it, you know the diapers yeah?" Dustin nodded, having seen the box more than enough times within the few months and took the cash "good, for the next few days if you need anything" a soft whine could be heard from down the hall and the pups all looked curious at it "ask Stevie and Robbie or hell even Nancy" and with that the door closed.

"Well friends, we have a new quest!" Dustin said excited and the group went off to the grocery store "what's a heat?" El asked curiously and the others realized she probably had zero clue about any of this stuff "well you know how he's an Omega like me right?" Maxs voice calm and El nodded "well once a month for 2-5 days an Omega will have an urge to make a baby" she said simply and El nodded "though since (sons name) is present the instinct to mate is satiated and now it's protect and scent"

El took in the information and nodded, it kind of made sense to the young alpha "will Mike get a heat?"

"He's a beta so no"

"Will you?"

"Well Mr. Stevens said omegas don't get heats until around 16-17 so not for a while"

The group made it to the grocery store and got the supplies not to mention a snack for each of them.

It was Eddie's way of paying the pups for getting stuff, go to the store you can get a treat.

"Why easy snacks?" Will asked curiously and Dustin sighed "(name) can be a shit when it comes to eating during heat, kind of need easy foods to trick him into eating"

"How did you do that?*

"I take a bite and he takes a bite, he would only eat if he knew I ate"

When the pups returned Eddie opened the door but with a fresh mating mark on his neck "excellent, you guys get your snack?"

"Yup!"

The pups helped him being the stuff in before leaving, Eddie then returned to the best with two water bottles and a soft granola bar and bit it before going into a kiss and pushing it into (name)s mouth and doing the same with water "gotta stay healthy baby" Eddie said softly when the Omega pouted, the mating mark on his skin still slightly bloody from Eddie's teeth and canines.

Situating their son in a safe spot (name) crawled on-top of Eddie and snuggled into his bare chest, the Alpha pulling him close "shhh go to sleep Omega" he gently used a command as he felt his mate slowly grow limp in his arms.

[callsign-foreigner]

You’re as Cold as Ice. - Part 5

Bradley “Rooster” Bradshaw x Reader (Iceman’s daughter)

She was seated in the makeshift classroom they had made in hangar. She was in the first row, awaiting instruction. She didn’t dare look away from the front, afraid to catch Rooster’s eye. A few seconds passed as Rear Admiral Bates spoke about the mission and then introduced Maverick. She listened as Maverick explained how difficult the training would be. Pulling a minimum of 9 g’s on the steep climb out, the sharp turns of the terrain and not to mention the large amount of SAMS covering the area. This mission sounded almost impossible. Only 6 pilots would be chosen from the 12 here in this room. By the way Maverick was talking, it sounded like not all 6 pilots would make it back.

This mission was going be the most difficult any one of them had ever encountered. Even Maverick.

_____________________________

Today’s training exercise has been dog fighting. Phantom was known for being a great pilot but she knew Maverick was a legend. She wasn’t upset when he shot her down, she knew there was quite a lot she had to work on in these 3 weeks.

She exited her plane and did her push-ups with Hondo, making it back to the rec room where pilots were hovered around the com, listening intently to those in the sky.

“What’s going on?”

Bob turned to Phantom with eyes wide and said “Rooster and Mav are in a corkscrew spiral towards the hard deck”

The wind had been knocked out of her. She knew they had issues, but taking it out in the air was a stupid decision on their parts.

She was about to speak when Phoenix yelled that they had broken the hard deck of 5000 feet. Phantom began to worry as neither of them pulled up. Her heart was pounding and she began to panic a bit as their systems were yelling at them to pull up.

Maverick pulled up at the last second and then so did Rooster.

She let out a deep breath and tried to slow down her heart rate. Everyone else in the rec room let out a sigh of relief.

Phantom’s anxiety was now replaced with anger. How could Rooster do this dangerous stunt, knowing the consequences? Knowing that he couldn’t just think of himself now?

Phantom ran back to the hangar and saw Rooster doing his push ups, Hondo long gone.

She began walking quickly towards Rooster. He didn’t even have a good time to really stand up before she pushed him as hard as she could, resulting in him falling on the ground.

“What the-“ Rooster started to say angrily as he began to get up for a second time

“What is WRONG WITH YOU? Breaking the hard deck? Insubordination? You trying to get yourself kicked out? Oh wait better yet, are you trying to get yourself KILLED?” Phantom yelled, not caring anymore who saw

“Listen you know what-“

“Yes he pulled your papers, I get it I really do. But you can’t think like that anymore. You don’t get to. This mission sounds hard enough already, don’t make training for it any harder. You have others to think about”

Phantom looked at Rooster for a reply, only to be met with him staring off somewhere off into the distance.

“You have Nick to think about now. While I’m sorry I kept him from you, I don’t regret it. You weren’t ready, hell you might not even be ready now. But can’t do much now that you know about him. If you plan on getting yourself killed, I’m not gonna even bother to tell him about you. No use in another broken heart.”

Phantom stepped back from Rooster, creating distance.

When he didn’t even look at her, she decided to hit the showers.

Rooster couldn’t believe how much she sounded like Maverick. Telling him he wasn’t ready? Seems like they were stealing plays from the same book.

Rooster knew she was right though. Rooster 5 year ago wouldn’t have stopped his career for a kid. He wasn’t mature enough to even raise a kid. He was too focused on proving himself. To who? He didn’t even know. He just wanted to be the best he could be. And right now he needed to be the best dad he could be.

___________________________________

Phantom had told Nick that she would see him in a few days, but considering everything, she decided she needed a cute face to calm her down. She decided to take Nick to the Hard Deck, to go and meet her fellow pilots. She wanted to create the same atmosphere for Nick as she had growing up. She had plenty of pilot ‘uncles’ who were just her dad’s friends. She loved every single one of them and had the best memories with them.

She held Nick’s hand as they walked up to the back end of the bar, where the pilots usually were.

Hangman spotted the kid first. “Hey little man, I’m Hangman” and offered his hand to the boy.

Nick just stared at Hangman and smiled. Hangman awkwardly laughed as he didn’t do so well with kids. Phantom laughed

“I told him you were the only active duty pilot with a air to air kill. He’s just in awe of you”

Nick nodded frantically, his curls bouncing off his forehead into his eyes.

Phoenix rolled her eyes and went to pick up Nick. “Stop tryna get the kid to idolize Bagman, we don’t want another like him in 20 years” she said as she ruffled his hair.

Nick giggled as she sat him on the pool table. The pilots began to crowd around him as he frantically asked questions about planes.

Hangman stood next to Phantom, watching the kid.

“Heard the rumors but you never mentioned a kid when we were on missions together so figured they were just that”

Phantom smirked at Hangman, meeting his eyes. “You just mad because you could’ve used his cute face to ring in the ladies?”

Hangman smirked back, taking a swig of his beer. “Never said such things”

Phantom laughed and walked over to the bar to quickly order some food for Nick and a beer for herself. She rested her elbows on the bar as she waited for Penny to serve the beer.

She looked at Nick, who was still sat on the pool table, as Bob now spoke to him quietly, probably explaining something about the plane systems. Nick just smiled and took in every word Bob said. She loved that he was so mesmerized by planes. Of course he was. The kid had Kazansky and Bradshaw blood running through his veins. Not to mention Maverick was always around.

She must’ve been looking too long at the group that Penny waved her hand in front of her. “Oops, sorry Penny. Lost in thought.”

Penny just laughed. Penny pushed the beer and some chicken nuggets to Phantom. Phantom slipped a $30 to Penny to cover her bill, only to have the bartender shake her head. “Your bill has been taken care of. Courtesy of the gentleman” and tipped her head towards the outdoor seating, where Rooster sat alone. Before Phantom could even ask, Penny spoke “Came in here about half an hour before you, put money on a tab to cover you and the kid. And for a while may I add.”

Penny just raised an eyebrow as Phantom looked at Rooster. “Don’t know what he did, but he’s trying.” and with that, she left Phantom alone.

She kept looking at Rooster, who didn’t seem to look away from wherever he was looking. Phantom looked at his line of vision and saw that he was watching Nick giggle with the pilots. Nick was now being swung by both Fanboy and Payback, each of them holding one arm.

Rooster just smiled at Nick from afar.

He didn’t know the kid at all. He’d only known about the kid for a day. but in that moment, as he watched Nick giggle and smile, he knew he loved him more than anything else in the universe. He wished he had been able to spend the last 4 years with Nick. But he knew why Phantom had kept quiet. He had crushed her heart in such a terrible way, leaving her alone. She had probably thought that he had moved on. But he didn’t. Sure he had one a few one night stands but they never went beyond that.

Rooster never dated anyone else after her.

He had never stopped loving her. No matter how hard he tried to say that his sacrifice was necessary, he knew he was lying to himself. She had been the best thing to ever happen to him. He had known her for years, but when they were at Top Gun together, he fell in love with her. She was fearless. She had always called him out when he was being an idiot. She always helped him with whatever he needed. She would stay up late with him when he would have panic attacks. She was always there. Until he changed that. And now she was back, and with their kid. While he wished the circumstances were different, he knew he was okay with this. Even if she didn’t love him, he would always love her.

Rooster knew he hadn’t done much good in his life, but he must’ve done something right to have not only Nick in his life, but Phantom too.

TAG LIST:

@justanothermagicalsara

@rosiahills22

@luckyladycreator2

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@certifiedsimp14

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[seven-stars-in-his-palm]

OHH WAIT ALSO does the word feather appear in any of your fics? :)

i hope you have a wonderful day bro💙💙

I HOPE YOU HAVE/HAD ONE TOO!!!! Answering the simpler ones because its insanely late and i wanna give the questions Thought, so they shall be saved. this though, this ican do. sinc eapparently only ONE wip has the word feather(s) (which is, ironically, stars in a jar) i’ll give you every paragraph containing feather because i LOVE SNIPPETS!!!!!!!! idc if these have already been published. FIC!!!!!!!

from chapter 1:

Crowley trails off awkwardly. Shax doesn’t notice and nods to herself again, shaking the maroon feather perched atop her hat. “Good to know. Do you take to that, Crowley? Indulging in gluttony?”

--

2. While Crowley had his eyes and occasional snakey moments, Shax had her nails and the occasional feather sprout. Long, black talons with bumpy skin along the edges which assisted immensely on typewriters and could easily be mistaken for acrylics, if Shax knew what acrylic nails were. (She also knew how to make one Hell of a stork’s click.)

from chapter 5:

Things well and true come back to him while finally sitting again. It’s not the ground, but a worn and grooved leather seat. Let down gently, like a feather on a pond. The Bentley, of course, which was an odd destination for a number of reasons, but he doesn’t much care. Time passed, right under his nose. He’s sure he was conscious for it, though. (How did that work, then? Questions for another time.)

and from chapter 6 (you can tell here is where wings became relevant):

Aziraphale is not able to recover before Crawly does. She’s already back onto her knees and crawling (as is for her namesake) towards the only shelter available, which was the very boat they were sitting on. She grabs him by the ankle, rearranging even more feathers as he’s dragged with no qualms about where any of his extra limbs will end up, and nearly brought in a circle before the door is found and shoved open.

--

Crawly eyes the crushed feathers warily, then takes an encouraging step closer. “Worrying about Upstairs again, are we? You just said they weren’t watching.”

--

Aziraphale, however, isn’t having nearly as much fun—he’s taken to a heavy limp, having to drag already wet feathers through the filth of animal waste. Crawly may find these odd displays amusing, but she wasn’t going to think the same in a few weeks. Safe to say, he is not having a good time.

--

Crawly starts scooting closer, and Aziraphale backs up as far as the space lets him. Both wings furrow oddly above him like a canopy, and now that he’s closer, he can see what Crawly’s talking about. Where the bone is supposed to be bending slightly and stiffly, it cuts jaggedy down and nearly pressed against the other, brushing the few feathers left attached to it in his face.

THANK YOU SONNY FOR ALL THESE FIC OPPORTUNITIES!!!!!!!! will answer more tomorrow ! :D

edit: SEEING THESE SNIPPETS I SEE ERRORS. FIXING IN THE FIC RN. then bed. night y'all

[snelbz]

After Hours {Elriel Smut}

A/N: Tara and I have both been crazy busy this month, so we haven’t gotten to write as much as we’d like to have for @elrielmonth. This doesn’t go along with any of the specific weeks, but we can’t miss an opportunity to write about favorite babies. Enjoy.

NSFW. 18+ Only.

WC: 7244

Written with @theladyofdeath.

Azriel turned off the engine of his old, beat up Jeep and stared at the door of the bustling bar. As the clock on his dash neared 6:00, people all over Velaris were finishing up their workday and hoping for a little release.

Including himself, apparently.

It wasn’t the first time he had been asked to join his coworkers at the bar on the corner by their office, but it was the first time he’d accepted. Typically, the last thing he wanted to do at the end of the work day was socialize, but once Morrigan asked enough, she was hard to say no to. After a certain point, she no longer took no as an answer, which was how he found himself in the parking lot.

With a sigh, he hopped out of the car, having discarded his tie, releasing a few of his top buttons, and rolling up his dark sleeves.

His 9-to-5 wasn’t awful, but it sure as hell wasn’t how he planned to spend the rest of his life. He was amazing with anything and everything electronic, had been building and taking apart everything he could get his hands on from a young age. But working tech support had him asking Have you tried turning it off and back on again more times in one day than he ever thought he would have. It was a stepping stone to something bigger, something better. He just had to convince himself take that leap onto a bigger stone.

He could use a beer. Hell, he could use a shot. The bonus of his best friends working with him as well meant that both were likely sitting at the table waiting for him.

Stuffing his hands into his pockets, he pushed through the door of the dive bar. Looking around, he spotted Morrigan’s blonde head on the dance floor, but none of his other friends. He knew Cassian and Rhys would certainly be here, maybe Helion and Kallias if he were lucky, but—

“You actually came.”

He turned and found the real reason he’d finally relented and accepted the invitation standing in front of him. The reason why he hadn’t taken that leap to something bigger and better.

Elain Archeron was the epitome of feminine grace. Her pretty, pink dress didn’t seem like it belonged in the seedy bar, yet here she was, carrying what looked like a tray of—

“Is that Fireball?”

She laughed and shook her head. “It was Lucien’s idea and Cassian backed him up.” She pointed to one of the shot glasses up and looked at him. “And this one’s got your name on it.”

Azriel suppressed his smile as he said, “Well, I can’t say no to that, can I?”

Elain gestured for him to follow her, which he did without any hesitation. She led him to a table in the back corner where a big group of them sat, hollering once they saw that Azriel had finally joined them for their Friday night outing.

“It’s about damn time,” Cassian said, scooting over so that Azriel could sit next to him. After she set the tray down on the table, Elain sat next to him. Her knee bumped his, which he fully noted.

“Blame Mor,” Azriel muttered, taking the shot that had his name on it from the tray. “She’s relentless.”

Across from them, Rhysand looked at Mor on the dance floor as she spun around with her arms spread wide. “Already drunk is what she is,” Rhys laughed and raised his shot glass. “Thank fuck it’s Friday,” he said, as a toast.

The others raised their glasses and clinked them against one another’s. Azriel downed his shot, loving the burn as it went down his throat. It didn’t burn as much as it used to, Fireball, but he liked the taste more than most.

He turned his head just in time to watch Elain’s head fall back, liquid disappearing from her shot class as her eyes lit up. She swallowed and set the glass on the table before turning to meet Azriel’s eye. Her cheeks burned.

He found it endearing, how she seemed to get embarrassed from doing something as simple as taking a shot. Although, the fact that she kept a straight face had Azriel surprised and impressed, and wondering just what else he did not know that Elain was capable of.

“Look at you,” she said, resting her elbow on the table and propping her chin in her hand. “Out in the real world. I was starting to think you had a little bed hiding in that cubicle of yours and that you never left.”

Elain was the assistant to the office manager, so while he didn’t work with her as much as he’d like, he did see her in passing quite often. And, of course, when she or their boss’s computer decided to stop working.

It wasn’t his job, but whenever a pair of caramel eyes peeked over the top of his cubicle, he was powerless to tell her no. The issues he’d helped her with ranged from a piece of paper jammed in her printer to a mysterious virus that the boss had somehow downloaded.

He laughed, barely noticing their friends around them. “Not yet, but I might start keeping a sleeping bag under there, just in case.”

“Don’t do that,” she chuckled, shaking her head. Her hair, which she usually left down, loose and curled and pretty, had been piled on top of her head. Thanks to the heat of the bodies in the room, the short hairs at the nape of her neck had curled, and Azriel wanted to reach out and let one wrap around his finger.

Blinking, he realized how creepy that’d make him look and he cleared his throat.

The pitcher of beer was passed around and Azriel filled up his glass. As the hour passed on, he was surprised to find that he was enjoying himself. Most of that was due to the fact that Elain’s knee brushed his every few minutes. He swore that when it did, she would linger.

With three pitchers down, everyone went to the dance floor, all except Azriel and Elain, who remained seated. She shifted, and Azriel thought that she may want him to ask her to dance but dancing was so far out of his comfort zone that he asked something else entirely before she could take matters into her own hands.

“I’m going to step outside for a minute,” he said, words rushing from his mouth. “Care to join me?”

Elain looked around, sucking in her bottom lip as she noted each of their friends and coworkers out on the floor before turning back to Azriel and nodding. “Okay.”

They made their way through the busy bar together until they found the side door that led to the alley, rather than the packed patio around back. The second Azriel was outside, he pulled his cigarettes from a pocket and held them up. “Do you mind?”

Elain shook her head as the door closed behind her. “I didn’t know you smoked.”

Azriel hesitated, then laughed quietly as he searched his pocket for a lighter. “I guess we don’t know much about each other outside of the office.”

“I guess not,” Elain confirmed, watching as he patted all of his pockets. To his surprise, she opened the small clutch that was slung around her body and pulled out a lighter. She held it up and ignited a flame. “Need help?”

Azriel’s brows shot up but he said nothing as he put the cigarette between lips and leaned forward until it caught. In such a simple, short movement, they were close enough for him to smell the floral scent of her perfume.

Once she put it away and he took a long, peaceful drag, he asked, “What else do you have in there that will surprise me?”

The smile she gave him had him leaning against the opposite wall of the alley to keep him upright. “It’s not mine. I tend to be the carrier of everything no one wants to keep in their pockets while dancing. Thank Rhys.”

Azriel laughed, quietly. “Fair enough.”

“It’s nice, you know,” she said, and he tilted his head to the side, waiting. “Having you come out with us. I see Rhys and Cassian more than anyone else, thanks to Feyre and Nesta, but it’s nice to have you here with us.”

His throat was tight and it had nothing to do with the filthy habit he knew he needed to kick. He took another pull and blew the cloud of smoke away from her. The wind pulled it right back, and he cringed. “Sorry.”

“S’okay,” she said and shrugged her shoulder, leaning against the brick wall next to him. He was suddenly very aware of how dank and dirty the alley was and that she was in a very pretty dress. She didn’t belong out here, didn’t belong with him in his dark shirt and dark jeans and rebellious nose ring and tattoos. She was all that was good, while he was…not. But then she spoke and it caught him off guard. “What would you be doing, if you weren’t here?”

He blinked. He wasn’t sure where she’d been planning to take the conversation, but that surely wasn’t it. “In Velaris, you mean?”

Laughing, Elain looked up at the sky. The stars were phenomenal, even in this dingy alley. Her eyes were bright, taking in the beauty of the City of Starlight. She looked back at him and said, “I haven’t had nearly enough to drink to ask something that deep.”

“Then let’s get you another drink,” Azriel replied, dropping the remnant of the cigarette into a puddle of what he hoped was water, extinguishing it immediately.

“Wait,” she said, putting a hand on his arm. The slight touch rooted him in place. “What I meant is, if you weren’t out with us tonight, what would you be doing? What does a normal Friday night look like for Azriel Draeven?”

Azriel was so caught off guard by her touch that he huffed a laugh, rubbing the back of his neck. He faced her fully, now aware of just how close he stood to her. She had to look up to keep her eyes locked with his.

“I don’t know,” he said, quietly. “Watch tv, play some video games, scroll on my phone.” He chuckled. “Have a drink and go to bed.”

Elain watched him for a moment, eyes bright. “That’s all?”

His eyes narrowed at her, trying to figure out if there was an underlying meaning to her question.

“What do you expect me to do at home?” He asked, well aware of the fact that her hand was still on his arm.

She shrugged again, an action that he usually thought was nonchalant, but from her, was just adorable. Looking up at him, she bit her lip. “Are those all things you usually do on your own or is there someone else you do it with?”

Her choice of words seemed to hit them both at the same time. Even in the watery light of the streetlamp at the end of the alley, Azriel could see the blush creeping up Elain’s cheeks and neck.

Choosing to ignore her unintended vernacular, he asked, “Are you asking if I have a girlfriend?”

“I guess I should learn to be more direct, huh,” Elain whispered, and Azriel’s grin spread.

He usually felt uncomfortable when he smiled but not around her. Around her, he felt worthy of smiling, of joy.

“No,” he said, at last. I’ve been waiting for someone, he nearly added, but didn’t. “And you? Anyone special?”

Elain’s hand finally fell from his arm as she shook her head. “No, no one. Not for a few months anyways.”

He nodded and took another step toward her as he asked, “Is there a reason for that?”

That crimson stain on her pale cheeks spread as she said, “Now it’s your turn to be direct, I think.”

Azriel was not known for being direct, for being outspoken. Out of all of the people in their friend group, Azriel was probably the most reserved.

He and Elain both.

Which is why he was grateful for the alcohol coursing through his body, liquid courage, as he asked, his voice low, “Can I kiss you?”

Elain’s breath hitched but she took a step closer, her palms lying flat against his chest, closing the space between them. Her eyes, bright and full of wonder, met his when she whispered, “Please.”

Azriel had had a long time to imagine what kissing Elain would be like. He’d imagined how her lips would feel, what she would taste like, how her hair would feel like silk as he threaded his fingers into it, cupping the back of her head. As he leaned down, his thumb brushing over her cheekbone, he knew his imagination would never stand a chance.

His lips met hers and he couldn’t have ignored the soft, sharp inhale as Elain gasped. He wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her tighter against him as her hands dove into his own hair. Without even realizing it, he’d backed her up until her back was pressed against the brick wall. He traced the seam of her lips, asking for entrance. She opened for him, but then nipped at his bottom lip.

When Azriel pulled back, her eyes were bright, full of life and joy and something else he couldn’t name.

“What were those things you like to do at home on a Friday night?” She breathed, fingers scratching lightly at his scalp. He was having a hard time comprehending her words.

“TV, video games, and a drink,” he said, forehead resting against hers.

Elain caught her bottom lip between her teeth, looking down at their feet before meeting his eyes again. “And all of that, would you like to do it with me?”

He was well aware that she was aware of her words from earlier. Of the callback she was making.

Azriel laughed, quietly. “I would happily do anything with you.”

Elain pulled his face into hers, her hands knotted into his now disheveled hair. His body fell against hers, and every logical thought that was in his mind had vanished for good as his palms braced the wall behind her.

Now that he’d had even the simplest of tastes, he could not keep his mouth off of her.

He hoisted her up, her legs going around his waist as her dress hitched up her thighs, her back still resting against the brick. When his kisses trailed down her neck and she tilted her face towards the sky to give him better access, she breathed, “I can think of a couple places that would be much more comfortable to do this.”

Pulling back, Azriel looked down into her face. Breath coming quickly, he asked, “Do you want me to stop?”

“No, no,” she replied, shaking her head. “But we could…go back to my place. Or yours, whichever you’d prefer.”

He blinked and then that broad grin was back on his face. “You’re getting better about that whole direct thing.”

Elain could feel her cheeks heating but Azriel put her down. “My apartment is only a couple blocks from here.” He reached up and brushed his thumb over her mouth. “Want to get out of here?

Her lips parted and she gently took his thumb between her teeth. Everything inside of him went molten at the light sting of pain. He hadn’t been expecting it or the soft brush of her tongue that followed it.

“Let me get my purse,” she breathed, after he’d pulled his hand back. “And tell Feyre and Nesta I’m leaving.”

“Are you going to tell them we’re leaving together?” He asked. She looked up at him.

His hazel eyes had gone impossible dark, the ring of browns and golds and greens nearly swallowed up by the blown out pupil. Lust was written along every line of his body. He wanted to touch her, to feel her skin against his.

Swallowing, Elain asked, “Do you want me to tell them?”

Azriel didn’t hesitate as he nodded. Hell yeah, he did. He wanted them all to know.

Her eyes lit up. “Good.”

She disappeared from sight and once Azriel caught his breath, he was hurrying to his jeep. After tossing the few empty water bottles from his passenger seat into the back, along with the lighter he couldn’t find earlier, he was pulling around to the front of the bar, waiting.

A few minutes passed and he grew anxious, afraid he had done something wrong between the first kiss and now, but then she was walking out the front door and coming straight for him.

She opened the door and fell inside, giggling as she looked at him. “Are you okay to drive?”

He nodded and said, “Just a few beers, plus it’s a short drive.”

She buckled her seatbelt and when she looked back up, they were sharing breath. His hand slid into her hair as he softly kissed her, sweeter than any of the kisses they’d shared so far.

Pulling away, he took a deep breath as he put the car in gear and pulled out onto the main road. His right hand left the wheel and rested on the inside of Elain’s knee. Her focus and every nerve ending seemed to center on the slow circle his finger was drawing on the skin there. There was a rough patch on the tip of each finger, aside from the brutal scarring he often tried to hide. She’d felt them twice now, the first time as he cradled her face in his hands and kissed. She cleared her throat. “What are your calluses from?”

His eyes left the road for a split second, not even realizing his hand had moved up her thigh, incrementally. He was looking back ahead of him, but his thumb squeezed her thigh in time with the circling. “Guitar. I’ve played for nearly fifteen years.”

“Wow,” she breathed, fully turning to face him in the passenger seat. “I had no idea.”

“Seems there’s a lot you don’t know about me,” he smirked, but added, “What’d your sisters say when you told them we were leaving together?”

Elain grinned as she turned towards the window. “Nesta’s exact words were, took you long enough. I won’t repeat Feyre’s. They were far too vulgar.”

Azriel was only intrigued more but before he could ask, Elain shifted and his hand slid further up her thigh. She leaned into it and suddenly, the five minute ride to his apartment was excruciating.

He could only imagine that her thoughts were running just as wild as his were. There were so many things he’d like to do to her, with her, but he tried not to get too ahead of himself.

She may want to take things slow, which he would if that’s what she wanted, without any complaints. Those thoughts, though, he couldn’t control.

Azriel pulled into his parking garage before finding a spot and putting his car in park. Once they were out they walked hand in hand into his building, up to his floor, and to his front door.

He had suddenly hoped it wasn’t too messy. Company was the last thing he had expected tonight, and he couldn’t remember exactly what it’d looked like when he stumbled out his door this morning, not having had his morning coffee.

Unlocking the door, he held it open for Elain, and braced himself as he flipped on the light. He wasn’t greeted by a mess, but there was the unmistakable sound of a bell chiming as it grew closer and closer. A sleek, smoky, grey cat poked its head around the corner and gave one mew! of excitement before prancing towards Azriel.

“You have a cat,” Elain beamed, bending down and holding a hand out for the creature to smell.

“This is Jeremy,” Azriel replied as the cat deemed Elain a friend and rubbed his head into her palm.

Her laughter was like windchimes on a spring morning. “Jeremy?”

“Yeah,” he replied, scratching at the back of his neck. “They asked me what I wanted to name and I sort of just blanked. So I went with Jeremy.”

Elain’s laughter was the cutest thing he’d ever heard. Tiny snort included.

Her eyes went wide and she covered her mouth, blushing, and stood. “Oh, my god, I’m so sorry.”

“You should be,” Azriel joked, scratching the cat behind his ears. “Jeremy doesn’t like to be laughed at.”

Elain’s laughter died down but it still laced her tone when she took a deep breath and said, smile blindingly brilliant, “I’m sorry, Jeremy. What other surprises am I going to find in here?”

Azriel gestured to the entryway they stood in - an open concept where they could see everything but his bedroom and bathroom down the hall. “Take a look around while I make you a drink?”

Elain’s grin softened as she nodded and began her waltz around the room. Azriel watched her tentatively while he walked behind the island and took two glasses from the cabinet, filling them each with whiskey - it was all he had.

Judging by how she handled Fireball, Azriel wasn’t worried.

When he looked up again, Elain was nowhere to be found but he came around the corner to find her near the start of the hallway, looking at his bookshelf that sat against the wall.

“Edgar Allan Poe fan?” Elain asked, fingers grazing a line of vintage collectors novels.

“A little bit,” he admitted, and was about to recite a cheesy quote when Elain started laughing quietly under her breath. She took a framed photo off the shelf of Azriel, Cassian, and Rhysand in their sophomore year of high school.

“Who are these guys?” She asked, shaking her head. “You were such a cutie. I bet all the girls flocked to you.”

Azriel cringed as he handed her a glass, which she gladly took. “Yeah, I was more of a loner. Had my first girlfriend junior year and when it didn’t work out, there was just a long string of flings after that.”

“And is that still the case?” Elain asked, sipping from her glass. “Just flings?”

There it was again, that air of nonchalant that had Azriel wondering what she truly wanted to ask. He stared at her for a moment, her eyes lit with amusement, and Azriel decided that he liked Elain with a little bit of liquid courage running through her veins. They were far from drunk, but there was just enough for the playfulness to come out.

Azriel set his glass down on the bookshelf before stepping closer to her and leaning down to kiss her, slowly.

There was no rush. He wanted to take it slow, wanted to dwell in this moment with her.

His teeth bit into her lip, just hard enough for her to part her lips, allowing him to slant his mouth over hers. Elain’s tongue brushed along his and he had to fight the groan that overtook him as he shuddered. Her fingers were in his hair, pulling his mouth harder against hers. Azriel obliged. Her glass was long gone and he pushed her back until she bumped into the shelf, books and knickknacks and picture frames rattling with the force. His hands we’re wrapping around her ass, the curves tempting him more than he could even fathom, and lifted her, setting her atop the ledge. All of him was lined up with all of her. Only denim and a few layers of cotton separated them and Elain moaned as he ground the growing evidence of his need into her.

Azriel pulled back slightly, just enough to breathe, “Is that what you want this to be? Just a fling?”

Her caramel eyes were wide, wild, and she shook her head. “Not if that’s not what you want it to be.”

“Once I get a taste of you, I’m not going to be able to stop,” Azriel whispered, dragging his nose along the long column of her neck. “I’m going to want to have you over and over again.”

A chill swept up her spine and when his lips found her collarbone, Elain let out a soft moan. “Then have a taste.”

Azriel cursed, words muffled by her skin beneath his lips. When he leaned back, Elain’s eyes were wild, her cheeks flushed, her chest quickly rising and falling. She meant it. She meant every word, he could tell as a lone finger trailed down his chest and stopped at his belt. She went to start unbuckling, but Azriel grabbed her wrists and pushed them back before falling to his knees before her. In acceptance, Elain spread her legs wider and then Azriel was hiking up the skirt of her dress.

She wore lilac lace panties that were already soaked. Before he pulled them slowly down her legs, he ran his thumb down her covered sex. The feeling of that alone had Elain gasping, scooting closer to the edge.

She was ready for him and Azriel loved the sight of it.

On his knees, he pulled down her thong and threw it aside without any care of where it would end up.

He traced her divide with a lone finger, letting it linger over her clit. He was gazing between her legs, staring. Elain felt the need to squirm, to make him look away, anywhere else. But that gaze was heavy and needy, like a starving man who’d been sat down in front of a feast.

“Beautiful.” His words were whisper soft and Elain could barely hear them over her own panting breaths. “The most exquisite thing I’ve ever seen.” Her heart skipped a beat and her cheeks heated at his unexpected praise.

She’d never had anyone call her sex beautiful before.

His thumb took the place of his finger, circling her clit slowly. As Elain’s breathing hitched, higher and higher, he slowly, gently pushed a finger inside of her.

Tight and hot and wet.

He slid another finger in and Azriel groaned as she clenched around him.

Suddenly, his fingers were gone and she forgot all about the tender words he’d whispered before. She forgot her name, who she was, as he wound his arms under her legs and gripped her by the thighs and dove right the hell in.

Azriel’s tongue plunged into her and the moan that Elain released was the most erotic, beautiful noise he’d ever heard. He licked her up and down before he set to lapping at her clit and his fingers returned to sliding deep.

Azriel looked up at her through his thick, dark lashes, admiring her raw and unfiltered beauty. Her head was tossed back, her mouth wide open, her entire body rigid as she absentmindedly, gently rocked her hips up into his mouth.

His lips sucked her clit between them, working in time with his tongue, and Elain let out a curse so filthy that he almost paused, having no idea such words lived inside of her vocabulary.

When her knees began to shake around his head, his fingers dug into her ass, holding her in place. The little moans coming from her mouth intensified and those sounds alone were nearly enough for Azriel to get off. She breathed his name and gasped as her fingers dove into his thick, tangled hair.

She came, and Azriel kept going, kept working his fingers, his tongue, his mouth until those little moans stopped, until his name no longer fell from her lips.

When he looked up, he slowly pulled his fingers out of her sex and put them into his mouth, licking them clean. Elain, panting heavily, watched in awe.

“What now?” She asked, legs still spread, dress still hiked up, baring her to him. Pink and pretty and gleaming with the evidence of her release. She was so wet for him, had been soaked before he’d even put his hands on her.

“Now?” He asked, bracing his arms on either side of her, caging her in. Had he always been so much bigger than her? He was all around her, consuming her every thought. Everything she saw, tasted, smelled, it was all Azriel.

“Now that you’ve had a taste,” she asked, tilting her head up, aching for his kiss. “What’s next?”

The devilish smile was the only warning she had before she was suddenly upside down, tossing her over his shoulder. Her laughter broke the tension as he carried her down the hall and opened a door, his hand firmly planted on her ass.

And then she was being tossed onto his bed, the expanse of rumpled grey sheets and soft black blankets warm and welcoming. Her fingers toyed with the soft fabric as Azriel crawled onto the bed and pressed a soft kiss to the inside of her knee and then farther up her thigh.

Instinct had her drawing both knees up, spreading her legs for him again. She hadn’t been expecting him to go down on her again, but she certainly wouldn’t complain about it. The orgasm had been earth shattering, one of the best she’d ever had. If he was this talented with his mouth, she couldn’t wait to see what he could do with other parts.

Those kisses trailed up, from one side to the other, and though he pressed one gentle, sweet kiss to her pussy, that was it. He didn’t stop to suck or bite or lick. Just the one kiss and then he’d continued on, kissing the top of her mound and each hip bone. His lips trailed higher, his hands pulling her dress up as well, until he gazed up at her as he reached her abdomen. “Can I take this off?” He asked, tugging at the dress.

“Only if you take off yours as well.” She was panting, her voice needy.

Him. She needed him.

Azriel saw that as an even compromise. He pulled himself off the bed and unbuttoned his shirt before slipping it off and dropping it to the floor. Elain pushed herself up onto her elbows as she watched him unbuckle his belt and kick off his pants. In nothing but his underwear, where his need was on full display, Azriel climbed back up over Elain, slipping her dress up as he went until it was over her head. She laid before him in nothing but her bra and Azriel’s hands freely explored every bare inch.

“You are so incredibly beautiful,” he whispered, his body fitting snugly against hers as he leaned down to kiss her softly.

Elain swallowed, hands trailing down his back. “I feel like I’m dreaming right now.”

“Is that a good thing?” He asked, his breath warm against her lips.

She nodded, the tips of her fingers disappearing beneath the band of his boxer briefs. He pulled back, giving her room between their bodies.

Azriel’s breath caught in his throat as she slipped her hand in and palmed him. He was frozen, not daring to move as he watched her hand move, obscured by the fabric and then he felt her hand wrap around his length.

She squeezed once, her fingers not quite able to touch each other, and Az’s head dropped into the

crook of her neck. He swore, voice husky and deep and it had Elain arching up into him.

She started to stroke him, slowly, and his lips found her neck, sucking and biting, teasing and taunting each other in the most sinful way.

“I want to see you.” Elain’s voice was desperate, pleading.

He couldn’t have denied her anything at that moment.

Azriel rolled to the side, begrudgingly losing the silken touch of her hand on him. He lifted his hips and removed his boxer briefs, tossing them to the side. As he was about to climb over her again, a hand pressed to his chest and pushed him back on the bed. He willingly laid down, eyes on her face. But she wasn’t looking at him.

She was looking at his cock. Staring, eyes wide, cheeks flushed.

Azriel didn’t dare speak, didn’t dare disrupt what was going on inside of her mind. He held his breath, watching, waiting until she took hold of him and slowly pumped once and then twice before leaning down. When she licked the tip of his cock, her eyes finally met his.

The display before him put to shame every dream he’d ever had of this exact moment.

Her mouth slid over his head and down his hardened length until she took in as much of him as she could. With her tongue sliding freely against him, her head began to bob, her hands joining in, one fisting his cock and the other cradling his balls.

Azriel’s head fell back against his pillows, one hand gripping his sheets and the other weaving its way into her long hair.

Every time she went down, a quiet noise came from the back of Azriel’s throat. He couldn’t help it. He didn’t care, either. He wanted to know all the sounds she could make him make.

Letting her hand take over for her mouth, she looked up at him. “Is this okay?”

Okay? It was better than okay, it was phenomenal, probably of the best head he’d ever had.

How was she the most adorable thing he’d ever seen, even while she played with his cock?

“Amazing,” he breathed.

She smiled then, looking so cute and sexy all at once and everything he’d ever let himself dream of.

Azriel couldn’t stop himself as he hauled her up the length of his body and crashed his lips against hers. Pulling away for a frantic breath, he whispered, “I need to be inside of you.”

Elain sat up, straddling his hips, reaching between them. His hands rested on her hips and he looked up at her.

“I can wear a condom, if you want.” He didn’t mind. He was clean, rarely went without one. But with her…

He didn’t know why, but he wanted her raw. Wanted to feel everything as her orgasm slammed into her and that delicious pussy came around him.

She shook her head. “I’m on the pill.”

There was silence for a moment, but then Azriel swallowed. “Okay.”

“Okay,” she repeated, voice soft.

Rising up on her knees, she gripped him, leading him to her center. Positioning him at her entrance, she placed her hands on his chest and sank down.

Azriel cursed, soft and vicious, fingers digging into the soft curves of her hips.

For a moment, she did nothing. When she was seated snugly upon him, her eyelids fluttered shut and she breathed, evenly, adjusting to his size, his length, inside of her. Then she began to rock, slowly, palms laid out flat against the ink on his chest. She sucked in her bottom lip and Azriel couldn’t stop staring.

It was erotic, sure, but it was also beautiful, so beautiful that Azriel didn’t think anything or anyone else would ever even compare to this moment, this vision of Elain, completely bare, slowly riding him in complete and utter ecstasy.

His hands moved along with her hips, not guiding, she had that covered. He could hear their ragged breaths in the quiet and stillness of his bedroom.

She felt so incredibly good.

And then her eyes opened.

Eyes that were bright with pleasure and ecstasy and something else he couldn’t name, yet knew was written across his own face. Her hips rose suddenly, rather than rocking, and when she dropped back down, they both gasped.

“Does that feel good?” He asked, reaching up and cupping the back of her head in his hand.

Elain nodded, leaning down towards him, still so full of his cock that words were impossible. His mouth was on hers as soon as she was close enough and he wrapped one of his strong arms around her waist.

He released her lips and breathed, “Do it again.”

She didn’t sit all the way up this time, just enough to lift her hips, but did as she was told. Again and again and again, until she was clawing at his chest, a moaning, quivering mess, right on the edge of release.

The hand that was still woven into her hair tightened, pulling her mouth back down to his, and he snapped his hips up into hers. She cried out, the sound muffled by the savage kiss, and he thrust up into her again, eliciting the same reaction. Only two more hard, deep thrusts was all it took.

Elain shattered around him, crying out as she did so, her nails digging into his skin to keep herself grounded.

Azriel continued to thrust himself up inside of her, a little slower, a little gentler each time until she was nothing more than a quivering pool lying against his chest.

He gave her a moment to breathe, gave her a moment to piece herself back together before he pulled on those beautiful golden-brown locks until she met his gaze.

“Fuck,” he breathed, and she had no words but she nodded in perfect agreement.

He was still buried deep inside of her when she sat up and pulled on his hips, not wanting him to take himself out for even a second. Azriel rolled them over until he was on top and framed her face in his hands before he kissed her.

It wasn’t hot and hungry like it had been before, but slow and sensual.

He kissed her until her hands left his chest, started roaming over his body. Kissed her until her legs wrapped around his waist, begging for more without having to say a word. Grinding his hips into hers, pushing her into the bed.

Wrenching her mouth from his, Elain moaned and Azriel’s kisses continued on her neck, her throat. He kissed down to the valley of her breasts, still contained in her bra, and he slid his scarred hands beneath her and unclasped it. As he sat up, giving her room, Elain removed her bra straps one by and tossed it aside, both of them completely bare to the other at last, his hard, thick cock still inside her.

She could have sworn she felt him throbbing deep inside as his eyes took in her breasts, hands cupping each. His mouth covered one, tongue swirling around her rosy, pink nipple, and sucked as he palmed the other. His teeth bit down and Elain moaned his name, the word tumbling from her lips like a prayer.

It snapped whatever tether he had on his restraint.

Sitting up on his knees, Azriel gripped Elain by the hips, pulling nearly all the way out, and slammed back in.

Elain cried out, her back bowing off the bed, not in pain, but overwhelming, all-consuming pleasure.

He set an unrelenting pace, fucking her as hard and deep as he could, watching as she fell to pieces beneath him. Elain gripped her breast with one hand, her other circling her clit frantically.

“You close, baby?” He asked, lips right by her ear. His voice was lower and deeper than she’d ever heard it. The sound of it and the unexpected use of a pet name alone nearly threw her over the edge, starlight and fireworks and ecstasy shimmering around her vision.

She met his gaze and nodded, reaching for him. Azriel covered her body with his, his mouth slanting over hers. His thrusts were relentless, driving home hard and fast and deep, and Elain’s release slammed into her. She moaned, loud and slow, and Azriel fell over the edge right alongside her, pulling out and spilling himself on the creamy skin of her stomach.

Azriel’s eyes nearly rolled back in his head, his body fully rigid as he came. Elain watched, chest heaving, utterly in awe of the sight before her. He was beautiful, and for a moment Elain thought that it was strange to think so. She had never thought that men were beautiful, at least not in the sense she felt when she looked at Azriel, just then, after making love to her so perfectly.

He collapsed onto her body, careful not to crush her as rested his forehead in the crook of her neck, but rolled them onto their sides. The softest of touches brushed along her arm, along the column of her neck until she squirmed.

Azriel’s fingers froze as he chuckled. “Ticklish, too? Look at all the things I’m learning about you tonight.”

His voice remained low, rough, tired but carefree. She smiled as she started running her fingertips up and down his muscular back. “I’m not ticklish,” she muttered, but they both knew it was a total lie.

They laid in contentment, both of them with their hands on one another as they caught their breaths.

Then they heard a growling, grumbling noise, and Azriel pulled back to look at Elain.

She was blushing, looking like she wanted to melt into the mattress.

“Hungry?” he asked, grinning down at her.

“I didn't get dinner,” she admitted, biting her lip. “Sorry, that was so loud.”

“You let me get inside of you,” Azriel teased, burying his face in her neck, biting the sensitive skin there. “You’ll moan my name as you cum, tear at my back, but you get embarrassed when your stomach growls a little too loudly post sex?”

“It’s not lady-like,” she laughed, playfully pushing him away.

He did as she bade him, rolling away from her and pressing a kiss to her forehead. He returned from the attached bathroom a minute later, a warm washcloth in his hand, still gloriously naked. Shamelessly, Elain watched as he approached, taking in every inch of sculpted muscle and inked skin. He smirked, not saying anything about her blatant ogling, but he hadn’t failed to notice the way her eyes caught on certain parts of his body, lingering just a longer than others. Azriel quietly cleaned her up, then tugged her to her feet, wrapping his arms around her. As he leaned down to kiss her, her stomach made another room-deafening growl and she buried her face into his bare chest as he began to laugh. Grabbing a t-shirt from his dresser, he pressed a kiss to her head. “Let’s get you something to eat before you decide to eat me.”

Elain took his shirt, which swallowed her as she put it on. She left him standing in the middle of his bedroom as she paused in the doorway to the hallway and the kitchen beyond, looking back at him. “Oh don’t worry. I’ll do that again later.”

Without another word, she padded towards the kitchen on bare feet.

His eyes darkened as he watched her go, long, tan legs tempting him from beneath his t-shirt.

When he’d decided to go out with his friends after work, this was the last thing Azriel had ever expected to happen. He’d left his comfort zone, taking a chance on a night of fun rather than spending another night home alone.

As he followed her into the kitchen, picking her up and setting her on the counter to watch as he made his infamous microwaved ramen, he was sure as hell glad that he had.

[cyarskaren52]

Just so y’all know, this man 100% dialed 9-1-1 and is on the phone with the NYPD dispatcher. This is how Karens kill Black men.. yall should be outraged by this if you’re not then what the hell’s wrong with you?!?

If you want to see a PERFECT example of a Karen attempting to weaponize her tears to get what she wants even if it ultimately causes bodily harm to a Black person, watch this.

As you watch, I want you to notice a few things…

*This will be a thread because I’m now annoyed*

1/

1) She thought that if she yelled for help & cried she would immediately get her way.

Why? Because historically that has always worked for them. That’s why they do it.

They don’t care if someone gets hurt. When inconvenienced — or God forbid, DENIED — yell for help & cry.

2/

2) When she saw she was being recorded she popped that work badge off her neck with the quickness.

Why? Because she saw that camera and knew that social media sleuths would have her name, job site and shoe size by lunch time.

She knew her antics would jeopardize that job.

3/

In my mind that alone shows consciousness of guilt. She knew those men had done nothing wrong and the video would show that — leading to consequences for HER.

So she shifted into another gear, enter:

3) The “tears” of a 🤡.

Dry as the Mojave. All for show.

4/The “waterworks” also fell flat. Why? Because again, those men had done nothing to her, she was in the wrong & no one was buying. Well, except for the next thing you need to notice:

4) “Captain save a Karen”

On cue they hear the malignant cries for “help” & come to fix it.

5/

You should also notice that the “fix” involved the Black man giving the Karen what she wanted.

No questions asked.

No further investigation. He decided SHE was telling the truth immediately.

Except she WASN’T.

#CarolynBryant anyone? (Also that biiiiitch is still dead thankfully)

6/

As the last act of her sad, potentially dangerous drama, Karen gets off the bike — that the Black man was on first & had already connected to his credit card — dries her “tears” & prepares to go about her day as if she didn’t just almost upend their lives.

#ImagineThePrivilege

I hear they’ve found her. May the “find out” phase be deliciously fruitful. May hell be hotter for her

I’d say I hope she learns from this, but she won’t. A hew never learns from their mistakes. Anyone who does what she did at that late age has deep-seated beliefs that the lives — and apparently bike-riding — of Black people don’t matter.

And though I CLEARLY used the phrase #Karen — which references a VERY specific type of entitled, willfully-ignorant & often malignantly racist white woman, which NO decent white woman should see herself in — I know some of y’all still need this:

#NotAll (fquck that too! Yes the fq it’s you)

There ya go.

And I just heard that these were teenage boys she did this to.

Not grown men.

Even worse.

Again, could’ve upended or simply ENDED their lives over a lie.

#DamnShame

This needs to be said to start the day and week.

WHITE PEOPLE,

EVERYTHING IS NOT FOR YOU NOR ABOUT YOU.

Sincerely,

Black People

*don't @ me

[welightthefire]

Thank you for tagging me @streamingcolors-gvf 😘

I think it might be fun to look back on what we’ve all achieved this year, let you give yourselves a well deserved pat on the back and also share what you love. When you’re done maybe tag someone else so they can share too?

1. How do you feel 2022 has gone in terms of writing?

Ohh boy. I feel like in the beginning of the year, I hit the ground running. I had a lot of ideas and motivation, passion even, and was putting out my best work. Throughout the summer, mostly near the end, I started to lose steam and imagination and that’s something I’m struggling to navigate through right now. I’m hoping 2023 brings a refreshing bit of inspiration that I can really work with.

2. What pieces are you proudest of this year? It can be a shot/blurb/headcannon, a whole series or even a specific chapter.

Table For Two, without a shadow of a doubt. It was an idea that I came up with last November and sat on for quite awhile. I knew it was going to be a huge project and I wanted to collaborate with someone on it. I’m not the most sociable on here, so I mostly just posted my other writings for awhile and then the most beautiful soul showed up outta nowhere in April and not only did she quickly become one of my absolute best friends, she became the best co-author I could ever ask for to help me bring this idea to fruition.

3. Is there anything you posted that you wish had reached more people? (No such thing as a flop here!) Shout it out, it might catch a new pair of eyes!

Again, Table For Two. I have so much love for the group of readers following along in the adventures of the twins and Syd (and poor Sam), but it’s something that I am so incredibly proud of that I simply want everyone to read it.

4. Can you give us a hint of anything coming before the end of the year? Maybe even a little taster?

You’ll definitely get an update or two from @allieboop and I for TFT, maybe even the end of the series!! I’m also working on a Danny x reader blurb that will be out in the next week or so and a little secret something else, but I can’t say much of anything about it. 🤫

5. Are you setting any writing goals for next year, or just going with the flow? If you are, what are they?

I’m hoping to build my masterlist more. I have some works already in progress which you’ll see on the pinned post on my page, however they won’t be posted until late-winter/spring.

6. Do you have any one shots or finished pieces you're tempted to expand on or revisit next year?

Teach Me Tonight will be getting a part two once TFT is wrapped up and I get some of these other works out. There are some other things floating up in the air, but we’ll just have to see how things turn out first.

7. Is there anything new you're tempted to try out? A new style/trope/AU/another person in the fandom?

I would really love to try my hand at an enemies to lovers trope!! I’m such a sucker for angst when it comes to reading, however, I do find myself struggling to write it sometimes. I have such a fluffy soul lol

8. Now to hype some other writers! What's a piece you read back in the first half of the year that you can shout out?

Amongst The Stars by @samkiszkasfacialhair hands down. It was posted on my birthday this year and to this day, it is the most gut-wrenching piece yet stands as my favorite thing I’ve ever read on this hellsite.

9. And how about something you've read more recently?

Pink Lemonade (WIP) by @garbagevanfleet

Ego (all 3 Parts) by @allieboop

Seven (WIP) by @stardustchordssammy

The Number One Rule by @streamingcolors-gvf and @allieboop

10. A fun one to finish...If you could insert yourself into any fic in the fandom, which would it be and what do you think would happen?

Boys of Summer (WIP) by @streamingcolors-gvf

My girl is in the process of writing a slow burn and confusing the hell out of me and I have NO IDEA what’s going on rn or what to expect, but I can tell you (and she knows this) that I would end up with Jake 😌

Tagging @samkiszkasfacialhair, @stardustbarbarians, and @mintysammykiszka (apologies if you’ve already been tagged)

[koffi]

13 Reasons Why

I saw this video the other day of…if you think you will end the year single raise your hand. I will raise both hands, hell; I will even stand up because as sure as the day comes after night, I always make it to that list. The series 13 reasons why, I do have my 13 reasons. Similar to the series, some of the reasons to some are dumb, very dumb.

1. I actually do have a chance at a relationship with this ex. He is my most favorite. This one cleaned and cooked without complaining. I did not want him to, but since he was willing to, made him more attractive. But last year he was actually doing really good and he hooked me up with a job. I was required to move back to the city and it would make the most sense to move in with him. You know what he said when I asked him, “we will discuss that.” If the roles were reversed I would have my doors open for him. Right now he is between jobs and had to relocate back home and if I did date him we would spend most of the time in my house, God, no. He did set the trend, no?

2. I was talking to this guy and he said that if his girl is working she should place her cheque on the table and he is the one to allocate her money to her. I should start swinging at people.

3. I love my hoes. I know, I know. I understand men not wanting to be in relationships because of their hoes. Hoes come with no attachments, no obligations. But if another one of these hoes ask me if he can come and get laid in my house, I will need a lawyer to tell me how much time I will get for physical assault. (Prison might allow me to get most of my reading done, most definitely give me a chance to work out and diet.)

4. Men do not make a point of washing their hands before a make out session. The female reproductive system is prone to infections from a simple dirty hand.

5. I do not have to correct someone mistakes and be apologetic when they find it offensive. For example this guy texted, “a you serious?” I then asked him if he knew his autocorrect was replacing ‘are’ with ‘a’ he said that he prefers writing it like that because it is easier. Can someone shoot me right here, between the eyes please or, or behind the ear I hear that’s where the medulla oblongata is located.

6. I don’t want to say how I want to be loved. Jeez, I do not play hard to get. When I like someone I go for it and yet I still have to do things for someone else for them to stay with me. Okay, who is the prize again? Not me it seems.

7. I have to date someone who is not typically my type and I can’t but they will bore me to death (this is from experience) and dating my type is a tragedy.

8. I keep on adding more requirements to my list. Last week I added humor (I was sleeping on this a little bit thinking it is a trait in everyone). You know what; I will just model one for me, the Lord probably did not consider me.

9. I am too judgmental. Considering the previous eight reasons we have already established that. My brain is my worst enemy that girl knows how to make me not like someone. (Unrelated or related; I saw this man wearing fitting, too much fitting clothes. Why did I even take my time to look at him because I could map his ball sack, his protruding tummy (it was not big though), his nipples, and when he turned around his curved small butt. Is this how men see women wearing small too much fitting clothes. I was about to fold my fingers into a fist then bring it close to my mouth and bite the space between my thumb and index finger to prevent myself from saying something that could get my ass beaten.)

10. Every day I realize that I know nothing about men. I always think I know something about them then it turns out I was generalizing them. There is this plant that attaches itself on a fruit tree I have seen it mostly on an avocado; I hear it’s called an epiphyte. The epiphyte sucks the sweetness of the avocado fruit. I always thought that men are the avocado tree and women are the epiphyte but all along it was the vice versa. So, you mean to tell me that a man will come to my house empty handed and expect me to cook for him? (sucks the joy out of cooking). I need someone to explain to me why out of 5 older women at work in their mid-thirties have been telling me stories about how they have been paying rent for the last maybe 20 years. Or the car they just purchased was from their own money and that their husbands have been taking these cars on rounds and bringing it back with an empty tank only for them to fill it and the men take the car on a spin again. They really do know how to suck the joy out of everything.

11. Relationships=children. I love the fact that all men talk about how much they want kids. I am not a fan of those little humans. I recall this episode of Lucifer when Trixie hugs him and there is pure distaste in his face but he goes on to pat her back and be like, “hello there little human offspring.”

12. I am a picky, intolerant, get irritated really fast and I want a boyfriend on maybe three out of seven days a week. Monday, sure I do need company on Mondays. Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, not really because on this days I want to be focused and work on my weekly goals. Friday, sure. Go out or watch a movie. Saturday, yes. I will cook breakfast but by the end of the day you have to go. Sunday is my day. Selfishly mine.

13. I most definitely do not like men.

If I ever get married, make sure this list appears😂. Because, this one, this one will have beaten all odds. I might even hyphenate my name with his second name.

[ebdanon]

hope you're alright after work <3 and tw for bugs and another long ask lmao

to be honest, we don't have access to mental health resources, that kind of stuff is expensive here, and we already spent a bunch on trying to figure out what was physically wrong with both of us first, during which time my husband (he got ibs) was not working because it was physically impossible for him, and I (thyroid issues) stopped getting paid from the freelance work I do (I'm still owed about 10k which is enough for a down payment on an apartment in the most expensive part in my country) which put us in a ridiculously tight spot. we had to move out of our apartment and start living with my in-laws, which is where more crazy has just been tacked on. it's been a very shitty couple of years in terms of what other people have been doing that directly affects us, but we're trudging on anyway. we finally started applying for jobs abroad, which we couldn't really do until we moved because it was constantly dealing with doctors and with health issues, and scrambling together money for bills and rent and overall living, and then the building got infected with cockroaches which was the cherry on top when we both finally said "we're outta here" and moved out in like 2 days (we knew the consequences of doing that). the day we decided to do that, we were up until 5am - me shrieking at each new baby cockroach I saw, and my husband killing them (I'm terrified of bugs), because a cockroach laid some eggs in a door frame in the apartment. that same week our vacuum made a loud noise and smoke just started coming out of it and it broke, the stovetop also broke, a repairman came and tried to fix it a bunch of times so we had no stove for 4-5 days (which was awful because my husband has to eat carefully cooked meals, and the only thing we could use to cook was the oven, which is ridiculously limiting on an already limited diet), and two of the ceiling lights went out. and then I got a flare up (different health issue) on top of everything which meant I was in bed for a couple of days. it was the worst week of 2023.

we've been applying for the last 6 months, and it's been nothing but rejections because we require visas to move to the countries we're applying to (it's the literal explanation we've been receiving which is a great thing as it's not our skills or something), but it's fine, one of us will find a job at some point (I hope soon) and we'll get to get out of this shithole of a country filled with shitty people. I'm definitely getting a therapist when we're out of here though, I've wanted to talk to one for years but my plan has always been to do that when I leave this country. Mental health is very much taboo here sadly, which contributes to many of the issues people tend to face. Also fun fact, the last time we applied for jobs abroad was at the end of 2019, and then the pandemic happened which meant all the embassy shut down and the applications got canceled (it was a different application system back then). The plan was to get the marriage certificate and start applying again, but the drama happened and we needed to decompress. Then the plan was to start asap after the decompression and then all the health issues happened. Have you ever seen a train wreck lmao it's just me trying to get the hell out of this country since I was 12 BUT IT WILL HAPPEN ONE DAY I JUST KNOW IT WILL (can you feel the desperation lmao)

i know that may have sounded worrisome but don't worry about me and my lore-filled asks, things will work out, they always do

i really hope you guys are able to get the hell out soon :( the job market here in america (idk where ur applying but might be the same elsewhere anyway because the pandemic fucked everything up for everyone) is absolutely atrocious rn so i wish you the best of luck!! you’re right when you say things work out i know they will for you 🫶 it just takes time unfortunately :( but hopefully soon

also as a fellow renter im crying for you with that apartment stuff jeez. it always feels like everything happens at once tbh

[cisthehuman]

Cis the Teeth Monster

aka this is the post about my teeth lol

Since I extended my hiatus, I didn't really get a chance to chat about my tooth surgery. I figured, why not make a post about it?

To keep things nice and fun, I won't show a picture of my teeth even though I want to. I don't want to gross people out, and I genuinely don't want to start spiraling about someone being able to identify me based on a photo of my pulled teeth.

So here just image little boxes where two of them have two full teeth, and one with shards of teeth. Two of the three boxes have pretty bloody specimens. There you go. Imagination is fun.

To start things off, I was born with the gift (curse?) of having extra wisdoms. 6 total, 3 on each side. As you can imagine, they all can't fit in my mouth, so they gotta get out of there.

I got the left side done years ago--I think I was either in college or just starting. It took a good solid hour, and I was able to come home with two of my teeth, as one had to be drilled into bits to be properly pulled out. Fun times. Because the surgery cost an arm and a leg, my family decided to wait until the right side started hurting before getting another surgery done.

Fast forward!!! To the now!!!

Probably around late February, I started experiencing some mouth pain. I figured I ate on something funny (I have a deep love for pretzels and those bastards can be hard as hell) and just took a pain killer and went on with my life. It was when I woke up from a TERRIBLE mouth ache that I realized.....it was time....to go back...for round 2.

Doc gave me some interesting news:

I have a lot of teeth (I already knew that)

The sharp pain I felt were my wisdom teeth growing on and hitting my nerve (I did not know that)

Taking them out was going to be a pain (I thought I knew that, but boy was I wrong)

After setting the date for the surgery, I did what any normal person would do--eat every crunchy thing imaginable, eat all of the sweets, and stream the ending of Our Life 1.

And then the day was upon us. Surgery day.

You want to guess how long the surgery took? Don't worry, I'm going to put a keep reading bar so it should (in theory) cover the rest of the story up. Think really long and hard on how long surgery took me.

Did you guess *4 hours*?

If you did, you win the knowledge of how long I was awake hearing drilling and crunching inside my mouth! Whooo! Winning is everything!!!

Needless to say, I was mentally and physically checked out at the end of it. Even now I can barely really remember how gone I was. I just remember feel very sorry for myself, and very ready to sleep for like five days.

The healing process was how you can imagine it, long and tiring. Constant pill taking--and because I couldn't feel my face or swallow very well, my medicine had to be smashed to powder so i can actually take it. i unfortunately had to get very familiar with the extremely bitter taste of medicine. When I was telling my supervisors I would be out, I actually thought I could work after I was done with my surgery but MAN I was like so out of it. By the end of the week I was able to like come back to myself. Even when I could pop into work for a little bit, it wasn't for a long time. After a week and a half or so, I was able to take the stitches out. And as of today 4/9/24, I have all of them officially out because my dentist forgot to take out one last stitch lol

So, there you go! My teeth journey! All of my wisdoms are out, but I have 5 (4 and some shards I guess) with me! I wanted to keep my teeth because it is kinda rare to have more than normal, and I wanted a souvenir from the surgeries. But keeping them in their little containers is kinda drab for me so I'm planning to make a necklace out of them!

I have a loose idea of what I want to do--the teeth are going to be painted black, and I'm thinking putting the shards in a resin mold to make a pendant out of them....I have a lot ideas in my head.

I was thinking of capturing the process of my teeth necklace! As this blog is more for showing the human behind the streamer persona, there's nothing more personal than seeing a necklace made out of said streamer's teeth lololol

I'm currently working on a quilt for my mom right now so it will probably be my summer project! Tune in to the progress in the future!

Thanks for reading about my teeth~ Seeeee youuu next timeee

[honking-up-a-storm]

6/23/23

Using this page to start off the day cuz idc that there's some doodles already on it. I think it's gonna be another slow day, 4 handicap spots are open, more open past the entrance, and the main lot is very empty. It could fill up who knows, but my hopes aren't very high. Funny how active online I was in 16'-17', maybe it's because that's when a lot of current websites came out that have a clear record. Ungh, I want to do something where is everyone? I guess I can get some reading done today. As long as my feet hold up I guess. I knew there would be slow days, but slow and standing in one spot is killing me. Oh! I bought the book so I can properly do this, it should be coming in 5-14 days, though the seller is in state so it should be quick enough. One car, not gonna touch it since it has the handicap adapter on it, I could drive it but I don't wanna adjust the settings. I think this writing is good for a least cracking a dent in this book. Had a very deep dream where things were okay again, makes no sense. If it's a premonition, I don't want it. Could try reaching out to her though. I feel bad and I miss her. Taking the easy way out isn't cute. There's totally shit going through my head right now that's too fast to write FFS. It's cuz I'm thinking about IT, which is annoying. I've exhausted all thoughts on the subject, made my conclusions, pretty much moved on less than a week later due to good timing on the new circles. I guess I'm frustrated with my exit. I had more time than I thought. I guess it's only natural to have wanted things to go your way. It just sucks cuz I wasn't attached to those thoughts and words anymore and the grief I have for them is still very potent no matter how much I try to hide and deny It. I find it odd too that I didn't feel sad after, I thought over the scenario so many times that I was sure I'd just fall apart, but I didn't and don't feel sorry for myself cuz I was a full-on bitch who deserved it. The frustration and grief are what linger. And I think grief is the appropriate word bc jesus christ I loved them, I loved all of them and I don't know why I was that fucking monstrous (Well therapy helped find the route of that but still, tldr: Family source, took that kinda shit talking as a normal way to vent and be done with it bc worse shit has gone around the house and yet everyone claims to love each other, should have never done it to my friends). And I'm frustrated because jesus christ even though I don't remember much of the exit I know I was just spewing bullshit and was pissed beyond hell that it was happening while I was not in a good spot mentally and physically. They probably think I threw myself into therapy because of the situation, but nah it's because for the first time in my life I let myself stand a little too close to the edge of the train platform and envisioned some things. But shit the only thing that stopped me was my own fear of death and that girl who got her leg torn off by the green line a few days prior. Anywho I'm glad I'm better, obviously not cured or perfect but much much better. My paranoia is gone, I'm less irritable, and life is just enjoyable again. It's kinda funny how I'm working a job where I was only in it for the money (financial issues strike again when the V work is said) but like I'm having like actual fun working, it's literally the perfect job for someone with ADHD, every day is different and I get to move a lot, interact with a lotta people. Also like I work with cars all day, I love driving. I'm in my pink era, I'm starting to love life again.

Notes:

A - Truman show/ Fleabagging, mirroring, mimicking, repeating, fixations, extremely picky with food, shutdown rather than lash out

M - Overstimulation, IFYKYK, sensory issues

N - Can drive, good balance

it feels like summer again

I am made up of so many things

Gift of the day from funny old dude regular: 3 Musketeers bar

"FTM" license plate is real

[tloaftyob]

5-2-2023

I broke my fucking leg. I happened on April 6th, 2023 while I was on my way to Physics. What a time to do it, weeks before graduation. What a terrible thing to happen. I was boarding, fucked up, and the next think I knew I was on the ground with my right foot flopping around. It didn’t hurt as much as I thought it would to break a bone, but I guess that’s adrenaline. I was shaking like hell though. Well, it did hurt when I moved it. It hurt like hell, burned. But staying still was alright. I laid there on the grass, calling Ellie, my mom, and Colby. Ellie was over an hour away where she lives, but I just wanted to let her know. I called my mom for the same reason, but Colby was on campus, so I asked him to take me to the ER.

We got to the ER, they took X-rays and told me what I already knew, it was broken. Really bad. As a math major, y=x^3 bad. My ankle bone got jammed up in between my tibia and fibula, and I broke them both. They got me in a bed, and moved me to a room to wait for the doctor to be available. They were going to put me under conscious sedation and move my bones back to where they should be and then splint me up. I laid there for a while waiting. Medical people trickled in, the team. They put some stuff in my IV, my arm went cold, and then I felt tipsy. I was awake but I did not care about what was going on. I don’t even remember them touching my leg, certainly no pain. By the time I was coming down I was all splinted and alone. A few tears ran down my cheeks. I was relieved, sad, frustrated this was happening, thankful that the worst of it was over now that my leg was stable. I stayed there for a bit longer, peed in a jug. Colby was eventually allowed to come in and keep me company, so that’s nice. He got some good pictures of me hooked up to the machines. My parents arrived around the time I was allowed to leave. Although my leg was good and splinted, I could still feel the bones shift when changing its orientation. Terrible clicks and grinding.

I was wheeled to the entrance, and got into the back of my dad’s truck. I sat sideways, with my leg on pillows. We went to my dorm to get my essentials, then to my car. My mom was going to drive me to Ellie’s and stay there for the weekend to help. I cried more on the way to her, this time because of how stressful this all was, how inconvenient it would be, how uncertain the future was. I was hopeful to return to classes after a week.

That wouldn’t happen.

I had appointments, the doctor talked to me, we would meet again Monday to check my swelling, and if it was good we would do surgery the next day. That’s what I wanted. I wanted to be back to normal, bones not moving. Easter was that weekend, so we went home for that. We came back up, I had my Monday appointment and was cleared for surgery Tuesday.

I got there early in the morning, like 6:30AM or something. We got me all ready, hospital gown, IV, hairnet, all of it. My blood pressure was through the roof though. I was so nervous, so dehydrated, so hypertensive that my systolic was over 200 in a few readings. They had me in holding, I was about to get my nerve block, and then they said “No, too dangerous. Go home and get that fixed, come back later.“ so I did. My mom scheduled an appointment with my primary doctor all the way at home, and we went to it later that day. 2 hours away. Damn car ride.

She prescribed me medicine. Then it didn’t work as fast as we wanted, so she doubled the dose and prescribed another. That didn’t work either, so she prescribed me a third. Just barely, I was cleared for surgery a week after my surgery was supposed to be.

All this time, I am just waiting around at home. At this point I learned that my independence was gone. I had to crutch everywhere, I couldn’t live alone. No classes for me. In hindsight maybe I could have asked the professors to set up a zoom meeting and set up a laptop on a desk so I could join virtually or whatever, but it is too late.

Anyways, it is the day of my surgery, second try. I have to be at the hospital at 5:30AM, so we wake up at 4:30AM I think. We get there, do everything, blah. The lady putting my IV in gets a valve, it hurts like hell. She tries again, it works. My hand is still bruised 2 weeks later. I get back to holding, I wait a bit, blood pressure is a lot better. Still stage 2 hypertension, but not too bad compared to last time. They give me some good stuff in my IV, I feel tipsy, they numb my leg with novacane and then block my nerve. They have to it in 2 places. It hurts like hell but the feel good stuff they put in my IV makes me not care, it was really nice.

I can no longer move my leg.

They take me to the operating room. It is cold. There are like 8 doctors there. They put a warm blanket on me, tell me to breathe deep breaths in and out of this mask, and then I forget. Fuck, I wanted to tell them to take pictures! I wake up back in holding. I can neither feel nor move my leg. That’s weird, but expected of course. They bring me back to the room I was first in, Ellie is there. I am so happy to see her and to be done with the surgery. I think I might have cried a bit.

We head home after a bit, I crutch in to the apartment with my leg swinging under me. I have literally no control over it, it’s really odd. I could try to move it, try to send the signals to the muscles, but nothing happens. I have my dad help me move it onto the pillows and blankets we have stacked up on the bed for elevation and comfort. My post-op is in 2 weeks and a day. For present me, that’s tomorrow.

The time between now and then has been spent doing homework, sleeping, watching YouTube, and showering with Ellie’s help. I hadn’t left the apartment in 10 days. Then her grandpa died. He was doing really poorly, and we were going to go home to see him that weekend, but on Thursday night she got a call. We went home the next morning. There was a small family-only gathering at the funeral home on Sunday. We went back up Sunday evening.

Colby broke up with Sarah completely, I don’t know if I mentioned that on here yet. She is not taking it well. She goes from sad to furious right back to sad in days. It’s good for Colby to see that so he can see what he dodged. They still have to live together for the rest of the semester because of complications, but there isn’t much time left in the semester. He came over last last weekend to get out of his apartment and it was fun. Ellie and him got drunk, we all played Mario Kart and BotW. I couldn’t drink because of my percs. They definitely helped with the pain. Especially when I double dosed on the day after my surgery. I just ran out last night. For the past week I have just been taking them at night to help me stay comfy while sleeping. I am celebrating tonight by having a peach schnapps drink. One of my favorites.

I can’t wait for TotK to come out. It comes out the same day as I graduate, but I am not even sure I want to walk across the stage, seeing as I would have to crutch. And sit there in the crowd with my leg and all that. I have to go to campus May 10th to take some finals and do some labs, and I am not really looking forward to that but they won’t let me do them virtually. Meh shmeh.

Yeah that’s about it, I have just been sitting around, watching my blood pressure, lowering my sodium, doing homework, watching YouTube, missing Ellie when she is at work or class, feeling pain in my leg (which now has metal in it, so I am now a cyborg).

Time to get back to some homework.

GOOD AFTERNOON TUMBLR!

[thatoneidiotdts]

Sleeping (+morning routine) headcanons for some genshin boys

A/n: hello ladies and gentlemen I'm happy to announce that I may be back now that my life has decided to stop throwing endless shit at me. Now I also write for genshin so feel free to send asks in my inbox!!

Warnings: nightmares for xiao, favoritism in diluc's part, purposeful misspelling and slander in C*ilde's part,overall tooth rotting fluff

Zhong li

Sleeps like a rock (pun intended)

This man will not wake up unless there is an emergency

No matter how much noise you make or whatever is going on around him he'll stay there laying in bed completely silent

His breathing is so quiet you think he's dead half the time if not for his endless sleep talking

And you can actually have full on conversations with him while he's asleep

Also he sleeps in a solider position which leaves you to cling on him like a koala on a big ass tree

Sleeps in really soft bamboo pyjamas that you bought for him

Zhong li will only wake up at exactly 7:30 am no matter if it's a week day or a weekend/ his day off

He also doesn't stay in bed for more than 10 minutes unless as stated before its his day off and you aren't awake yet

The man will stay there taking in the sunshine rays from the window as he's looking at your peaceful face

After an hour or two hell rub your back and gently wake you up with forehead kisses while softly calling your name

When you finally wake up you usually start with the morning hygiene and whatnot

Also he will ask you if you want to take a morning bath together but absolutely respects you decision if you won't and you don't need to even give him a reason you declined in the first place but will make sure you know he loves you no matter what

After that he will sit down with you and drink tea and have breakfast with you for the next two hours

It's the only reason he wakes up so early

T̵̻̦̥͌͝e̸̟̗̮̮͌a̷̙͕͉̿̍͝

After that he goes to do his usual shift at the wangsheng funeral parlor

Venti

Menace to society

He either sleeps sprawled out in a starfish position with his arm and leg over your body or in a fetal position with his face buried in your breasts/chest

He usually sleeps in your clothes or in his everyday clothes

His little snores are super cute tho

Venti's snoring isn't super loud, it's actually really quiet but still there

Since he's a bard he stays at the Angel's share until it closes which is usually very late into the night so he sleeps until like 2pm

He isn't a heavy sleeper so you usually accidentally wake him up if you have some errands to run early in the morning

Venti will cling to you and pretend that he's asleep so that you can stay in bed with him

After like 20 minutes of this he finally let's you go and makes you promise him that you'll be back quickly

When you returned to your shared house from doing commissions you found him still sleeping in the bed so you quietly took a shower and snuggled in with him for another hour or two

After he finally wakes up for real this time he has breakfast lunch with you and goes off to Angel's share but not before giving you a thousand kisses

Kaeya

He's sleep schedule is ON POINT

He always gets back from Angel's share at exactly 1:00am, showers, eats and does his skin care routine and gets in bed around 1:30am

He also wakes up at exactly 9am but stays in bed until ten

He trashes through the night, he also talks in his sleep but it really weird and it's mostly things that are in English but you can't understand them at all

Kaeya is also a blanket snatcher and will snatch your blanket if you aren't holding it tightly

I feel like he also sleeps with socks on but has a few special pairs of socks that have some cute patterns that he would rather be caught working with the fatui by his own brother than wear them outside once

Also sleeps in silk pyjamas, doesn't care if the cotton ones are easier to breathe through, he likes the feeling of silk on his skin

Kaeya loves his personal space and he doesn't like to be touched while he sleeps but makes up for it when he's awake but still in bed

The only exception is when it's cold outside, I headcannon he's naturally cold and he doesn't like it at all

His morning routine is 90% of him taking care of his face and showering

His skincare routine is also more expensive than some people's houses so don't touch his products plz

Kaeya will gladly teach you the basics of skin care and will buy you your own products that thinks will suit your skin better

He's also almost late to work every day so every day you see him put on his shoes calmly, take in a deep breath and then he kisses you goodbye and runs off like a mad man in order to get to the headquarters on time

Diluc

He has so much unprocessed trauma I would be surprised is sleep schedule is anything but a mess

Diluc doesn't sleep a lot, he would have a normal sleep schedule but since he has a lot of stuff to do all the time it stops him from sleeping property

Not only does he work as a bartender at Angel's share when Charles can't he also works as the Mondstat's one and only Dark Night Hero

He usually comes home around 4 or 5 am and will only sleep until like 8 and you will have to force him to have a nap in the afternoon

Also he sleeps in his everyday clothing and he's sometimes too tired to even take his coat off

Diluc sleeps on his stomach which causes him to have back and neck problems but it's the only way he can actually fall asleep

He's a really light sleeper which also adds up to his sleeping problem

Also he snores loudly, like really loudly, and he only snores at night for some weird reason

You discovered that because one day you accidentally woke up at like 6 am and you couldn't fall back asleep because of his loud snoring but you didn't dare to move since you knew how little rest he gets

He's not a morning person at all, if he didn't hate alcohol, he would be the person that chugs half a bottle of vodka in the morning just to keep him awake

Diluc usually starts his morning off with some personal hygiene and then starts doing the endless paperwork without even having breakfast or anything to drink

So out will have to force him to eat and drink so that he doesn't pass out from work

On the rare days he doesn't have any work to do he usually sleeps them off to make up for the time he didn't sleep

Albedo

Chalk boy over here also has a terrible sleep schedule

He's not really forcing himself to stay up but rather doesn't realize how late it is

You will have to pull him out of his work in order for him to go to sleep

Albedo has a special pair of pyjamas that he wears when he's sleeping and he only wears them because for his last birthday Klee has given him a pair of pyjamas that were originally grey but she hand painted them herself with the help of Jean and Lisa and he's been sleeping in them ever since

And when i say every day I mean every day

But don't worry he hand washes them every two days and takes special care of them in order to not wash of the fabric paint

His snores are also really quiet and quite cute, I recommend commenting on that if you wanna see him blush ^-^

Albedo usually sleeps on his stomach but unlike Diluc he is small enough to not crush you under his weight so he usually sleeps with his head on your stomach or buried in your neck

Pease touch his hair he melts when you do

Albedo can sleep for a looonng time if you don't wake him up so he relies on you to wake him up or else he'll spend the next 16 hours in bed sleeping without a care in the wold

When he wake up he does his usual morning routine, which is usually a quick shower, breakfast, brushing his teeth and his hair out, and then goes off to work

He will absolutely make you have a nap with him in the afternoon or whenever he feels tired

Xiao

He doesn't sleep much, hell I don't this man sleeps at all sometimes

Adepti don't really require sleep or food like normal humans do

It took a lot of time for him to trust you enough to sleep besides him

Xiao doesn't feel safe while sleeping at all, he also fears that his karmic dept might take affect on you so he keeps his distance for quite some time

For the first month or two he would wear his normal every day clothes but then you gift him a cute plain green onesie and at first he straight up refused to put 'that thing' on but he gave in and hasn't sleep in anything else since

At first he would be the big spoon so that he can protect you from any harm but when you spooned him for the first time he felt so safe and warm he never wanted to let go of that feeling ever again

After that he would ask you under his breath if you could spoon him more often, you barely understood what he was saying but perfectly understood what he wanted and needed.

He also regularly has nightmares which causes him to trash around and maybe whack you in the face once or twice but you're quick to calm him down

Xiao never really realized that he was hurting you until he gently hugged you and you winced because he accidentally touched the small mark he left the previous night after having another nightmare

Doesn't touch you or sleep with you for a week after that, he already hurt you enough but you don't really care so you coaxed him into sleeping with you again very easily since he missed your warmth a lot

He doesn't really have a morning routine but he does wake up every morning before you so that he can teleport to the Huaguang Stone Forest to pick some Qingxin flowers for you

He's also gets back into your arms right before you wake up so that it seems like he never left in the first place

But you always notice the new fresh bouquet of the beautiful white flower on your desk and thank him for it

T*rtaglia

Listen here ok I'mma be real with y'all

Turbulence sleeps exactly one hour less than normal people but makes it seem like he gets like 2 hours of sleep per night

"Ugh I didn't sleep last night at all😩😏" Like bro stfu

He also makes jokes about sleeping so little because he was with you last night or that he was training so hard or doing a mountain of paper work

While you know damn well he was with you entire night sleeping like a baby right by your side

He sleeps naked solely so that one day when a hypothetical intruder gets into your home he can scare them off by yelling at them while being completely naked 💀

But he will put a pair of pyjamas on if you're uncomfortable

He mostly sleeps on his side because he needs to hold something while he's sleeping, if you aren't with him that night he will hug your pillow and sleep like that

Tagliatelle also doesn't like to sleep when in a cold room so he will have one of those water bottles that people use for back pain and will put one in the pillow he's holding and two in the blanket itself

He's totally a morning person and has no problem with getting out of the bed in less than like 10 minutes unless you ask him not to

If he has a day off he won't sleep in that much but he will curl up beside you and 'accidentally' place his head on your boobs/chest

Y'all saying Terrorism is the caring older brother? WRONG he's the forgotten middle child. we ofc know about Tonia, Anthon and Teucer but he also has two older brothers and at least one older sister

I feel like he's the middle child that had to take all the responsibilities when the older three/four moved out

So yeah he can make a damn fine breakfast for you without skipping a beat

But don't let me even start on his personal hygiene

Like shower are fine ok and he baths once a week only because he can but like

I know damn well his back teeth are ROTTING

He only uses mouthwash and brushes the front and bottom part of the teeth so that they look presentable meanwhile his back teeth got their souls sucked out

Moving on from that Tellurium can't really spend the whole morning with you so he will have to leave you late in the morning.

Coffee? :>