#k. character analysis

[yaksha-lover]

Malleus Draconia and the Cognitive Dissonance of being a Lonely Prince

A character analysis exploring Malleus’ conflicting views of self

Malleus has two primary characteristics that are significant to his identity: (1) His role as a highly revered, feared, and praised mage & prince and (2) His loneliness and social/emotional isolation.

In Malleus’ concept of identity, these two characteristics are in conflict with each other, despite one somewhat being caused by the other. How can a person reconcile the fact that they are supposedly extraordinarily special, talented, attractive (this is canon in universe btw lol), intelligent, beyond powerful, etc. - essentially a perfect prince - with the fact that they have no friends and barely anyone who cares about them (excluding those he feels are obligated to care)?

Malleus has no strong emotional connection with anyone that is not his family (I include Lilia in this category) or one of his guards (who, in spite of Sebek’s protests, is basically obligated - socially or role wise - to respect and love him). Now, I don’t think any of these relationships is obligatory or disingenuous in any way. Lilia, Silver, and Sebek all genuinely love and care for Malleus. However, I’d argue that isn’t how Malleus sees it (I’ll get into this later).

First, I wanna go into the first characteristic I mentioned, him being revered (+feared) because of his status and capabilities.

Before I even get into him as an individual, let’s look at how Malleus himself perceives the mere status of royalty:

Malleus believes (I suppose because of his personal circumstances) that people who are royalty inherently deserve respect. He even extends this to Leona, who he has a (playfully?) hostile relationship with. I don’t think there’s canon indication that this necessarily means he looks down on people of non-noble birth or anything, but he’s still stuck on this idea that, in certain respects, royalty does deserve better than the average person.

Clearly, this would extend to himself as well. Part of his self-image is kind of decided from birth (in an interesting parallel to Leona who believes that his own status as a second son decides his fate from birth) because he is raised in this environment where he is constantly told that he is better than others, simply because he is a prince.

That said, Malleus takes being royalty and a leader very seriously. I’d argue he believes that because he is ‘better’ than others, he has certain responsibilities and duties that he must complete, as shown above.

Part of this also means that Malleus takes himself very seriously - he isn’t allowed to even try to be normal, because he always has to keep himself in check. Anything he does will reflect poorly upon himself and his family, and this is something Lilia reminds him of.

Here’s where I’ll talk about Malleus’ relationships with the rest of Diasomnia.

Now, Lilia is clearly the person who treats him the most casually and normally. He knows Malleus very well, to the point where he can read his emotions - namely his jealously/bitterness/frustration after being left out of something.

Lilia encourages Malleus the most to try and have normal experiences. He understands Malleus’ loneliness, and wants him to make friends - to seek out more than he could have all alone in his castle. But, Lilia also has times where he acts as more than a mere guardian to Malleus. I can’t find the screenshot, but I remember Lilia reminding Malleus about what behaviour is and is not befitting of an heir, so that aspect of their relationship is still something to take note of. Even Lilia, who understands him better than anyone, still must wish for him to be the best heir and prince (sometimes sacrificing his own wants, although Lilia probably does this the least considering he knows Malleus’ feelings).

It’s no exaggeration to say that Sebek worships Malleus to the highest extent (just look at the portrait of him in his room). The way Sebek talks about him isn’t at all like a friend or even family - Malleus is a god to him. I argue that Sebek’s behaviour specifically (he would cry if he knew this) distances him the most from Malleus emotionally.

This will be explored more later on, but what Malleus wants is to be treated somewhat normally, at least by a few people he can be close with. Sebek does the opposite of this. While the students who are scared of Malleus isolate him because of their fear, Sebek actually accidentally isolates him because of his dedication and worship. Thus, both Sebek and others isolate Malleus through their treatment of him because of his position/status/strength.

Malleus certainly cares for Sebek, but I don’t believe he thinks of him as a genuine friend (and that’s not meant as a way to dismiss the relationship they do have, just that he doesn’t view Sebek as caring about him as a person rather than him as a prince/mage). How can he, when Sebek constantly acts like a fanboy around him?

Now let’s look at Malleus and Silver.

Silver addresses Malleus as either ‘housewarden’ or ‘master.’ Again, to my previous point about Sebek, I think this does point to Silver and Malleus’ relationship not exactly being a friendship. However, I think differently to Sebek, Silver does have more of a personal relationship with Malleus.

He treats Malleus with respect and formality, but he isn’t over the top with it. I’d argue they have a sort of ‘mentor-student’ relationship in a way; not exactly that, but you understand my point. Silver looks up to Malleus as a person, and Malleus is willing to teach Silver about things. I almost want to say they’re a bit like a younger and older sibling, but I think a bit of the closeness/familiarity is lacking (at least for now). The relationship still has a bit of a formality to it, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t personal. I won’t spoil for those who haven’t read book 7, but I think their relationship becomes more clear there, iykyk.

I know most of Malleus’ vignettes are played for a joke, but holy shit they make me sad. You can tell that ever since he enrolled, if he wasn’t sharing a class with Lilia, Malleus has basically had to work alone for everything. Even here, Cater is only asking Mal if he wants to join his group so he can use Malleus for Magicam clout. Everyone is so scared of him that he’s never had a partner and he’s even gotten used to it. It might not seem that serious, but honestly - sorry to be crude - this kind of thing does fuck you up, especially while growing up.

Think about how Malleus feels - being the outcast and genuinely having no friends feels humiliating and depressing. It makes you think there’s something wrong with you, and that’s the way I choose to interpret the other aspect of his character. His passive acceptance to social isolation and rejection is a constant among his vignettes - anytime someone brings this up, he’ll say it’s fine and he’s used to it.

Another relationship worth noting is Malleus’ grandmother - his only living blood relative. Something that stood out to me (and I could be reading too much into this) but Malleus really feels surprised that his grandmother would take time to write her only family member a happy birthday letter?

That’s very sad to me, and I think it’s a reflection of both the expectation Malleus feels is placed on them as royals and his feeling that he as an individual (not as a prince) is inherently less important than any royals duties. He seems to think this way about himself too, treating his princely duties as always more important than anything he would want personally. A letter is a small gesture, and Malleus doesn’t even expect that from his grandmother.

I’ll use this to segue to discussing Malleus’ insecurity and social isolation.

Ever since he was a child, Malleus has been isolated from others. Before he was feared and before he was worshiped, Malleus was lonely. That’s clear to anyone. Now, I want to talk about how this loneliness and isolation has affected his self-image.

Examining his personal relationships, how the rest of the school sees him, and his own views on royalty and himself, I think it’s clear Malleus, on one regard, seems at first glance to think highly of himself. He isn’t arrogant or boastful. Rather, he just is very extraordinary in many aspects.

But, that surface level interpretation completely leaves out the other side of him. While he might excel in skills, Malleus fails on all regards in terms of relationships. It’s clear, no matter how much he says he doesn’t care or that he’s accepted it, that it hurts Malleus every time he is excluded from something.

He tries to hide that he’s upset that he missed the orientation ceremony, but Lilia remarks that it’s clear how jealous he is that Sebek got to attend. When Lilia reminds him that there’s always next year, Malleus immediately dismisses the possibility that he will ever be invited. In his birthday vignette, he states that he hates eating entire cakes and becomes upset when Yuu brings up the fact that they aren’t meant to be eaten alone because he knows. He knows just how lonely and isolated he is compared to everyone else and he hates.

Malleus has mostly given up and accepted that he will ever fit in. He is pessimistic, but to say he does not hope isn’t entirely correct. Later in the vignette, although he may be half-joking, Malleus remarks that Leona may have stopped by to invite him to a party - he’s even excited by the prospect. And again, he is let down. Leona even taunts him spot-on for his greatest insecurity (isn’t he just so dreamy?).

Now, while this does offend Malleus to a degree (see their catfight where he basically threatens to declaw Leona), I get the feeling that this kind of interaction with someone who views him as an equal (or at least, isn’t intimidated nor awed by him in the slightest) is probably pretty refreshing for Malleus. In a way, you get the sense that he enjoys that back and forth with him, because this goes back to Mal’s wish to be accepted and have friends to talk with.

Anyway, to return to my main point: Malleus’ deep loneliness and failure to fit in has likely caused some deep rooted feelings of insecurity (Note: I want to make a separate post on this because it’s kind of a lot, but I think this also contributes to his anxious attachment style). Malleus likely feels unwanted, despite all the great things about him that make people like Sebek fanboy over him.

No matter how powerful Malleus becomes, no matter how many people worship him, Malleus will always feel worthless deep down because no one will accept him for who he is.

The kind of insecurity and loneliness that pervades your life for years and follows you around everywhere isn’t something you can just shake off. No matter how much he tries to reassure himself that he is enough, he’ll never quite be able to quiet the voice in his head telling him that he is wanted by nobody and that he deserves nothing, that things are this way because he is not worth loving.

To conclude, how can Malleus reconcile these two sides of himself - the parts that know he is something great (worthy of worship and praise, even) and the parts that tell him he is worth nothing? Both sides are so extreme, people worship him but almost everyone avoids him. I feel that’s something Malleus must struggle with a lot - trying to hold on to the view of himself as a good prince while feeling that slip away when he becomes emotional.

Thanks for reading if you got this far! Let me know if you disagree or think I got anything wrong, this is just my thoughts and my opinions and I’m open to changing them :)

[na-nanu]

Ofc Spock is alienated, and it’s a beautiful and heart wrenching conflict, but I think Kirk’s alienation in TOS is just as fascinating.

Kirk can’t have long term romantic relationships because he is Captain. He refuses to get with people on his crew who he has direct control over (in the context of Spirk I believe that this would also cause him to hesitate in forming a relationship with Spock) and of course all other relationships would be long-long-long distance.

Jim’s romances are also often ruses; it’s not often that he seems to truly fall in love with a woman as opposed to simply seducing her in order to gain an advantage.

Jim has to be forced by Spock and McCoy to relax; he also seems to have told no one about either his traumatic experience on Tarsus IV, or his traumatic experience with the spooky evil fog. This seems to me to show a reluctance to show weakness.

Jim loves his position as captain and would do (almost) anything to maintain it.

I also see Kirk as fairly calculating; he is able to put emotion aside to make difficult choices (as in The City on the Edge of Forever). Kirk, while personable, is a fairly Vulcan human.

All of these things, I believe, show that Kirk probably feels lonely and alienated. I think this is why he understands Spock so well — they are able to find in each other the solace they lack everywhere else. Kirk can trust that Spock won’t be manipulated by him because of Spock’s Vulcan strength and logic; Kirk doesn’t have to worry about Spock attempting to gain power because Spock does not want command.

Jim struggles with loneliness and alienation. Boom.

[cult-of-the-eye]

LEMME HEAR YOUR UNHINGED TMA RANTS! <3

Oooh I think I've already posted a lot of my rants but one of the characters who I haven't really had a whole rant on is Martin K blackwood.

THIS MAN. This man is so wonderfully written. A lot of characterisations of the "nice one" are quite flat and don't really expand much on them being nice apart from maybe giving the person low self esteem. What I love about Martin is how masterfully it uses that sort of prototype of a character and makes it much more gut wrenching and relatable. He starts off as sort of the office dunce from Jon's pov, which early on we also realise is unreliable. He's the bumbling idiot, the sweet fool and I get it. As a fat person, I feel like a lot of us feel pressured to be the comic relief or to put it more precisely, the one to be laughed at. And he's seen the gap in the archives, he's seen that role that needs to be filled and he's easily filled it. When you have the group of Tim and Sasha and then Jon, the only thing that could unite them is mutual awkward laughter towards Martin. And Martin is used to seeing what's there and filling the gaps, man is a people pleaser to a fault, he has had to guess what his mum didn't like about him and change accordingly, getting it wrong every time. He makes himself palatable which is so REAL especially for a fat person and/or traumatised people.

And then we see this more calculating side of him. He LIED to all his colleagues and his BOSS about a qualification to get a job and then kept that lie going for at least a couple of months. Listen, I don't think it's fair to label Martin as completely a manipulative calculating guy who's just put on a mask but it's also not exactly fair to characterise him as just a sweet, tea making guy who wears jumpers. And that's what I love about him. He's so complex. I feel like it delves into the idea of having both a saviour complex as well as an inferiority complex. He's had to make choices that are above his skillset early in his life and frequently, he's been blamed for causing other people's emotions so he naturally thinks he has control over how other people feel. Which gives him that sense of responsibility, like I can save anyone cause I can control their emotions, if I'm nice enough then they won't be mad/ill/sad/they'll love me. But at the same time, these sort of underhand methods of indirect communication don't resonate to him as causing any damage cause he doesn't actually think he's important enough to cause damage or have an impact on other people's lives

I don't think it's of any shock to anyone that my favourite Martin is angry Martin. It's the part that fights against both aspects of this inferiority/saviour complex because it 1. Is a path of direct communication. He has the opportunity to state exactly how he is feeling and the focus is on that rather than how can I get the other person to respond. 2. It recognises that he is important. Anger is in response to perceived injustice, frustration, annoyance and all of those things are in a way, self preserving. Obviously it's not good to do that too much (see: Tim Stoker) but there you go. I'm not saying angry Martin is perfect or anything but I'm saying that it's so satisfying and interesting to see cause it completely goes against the characterisation we've been given so far and it introduces a whole new facet to Martin - that he doesn't want to be ruled by his trauma and past experiences.

It's honestly a joy to see Martin develop into someone who fights more against the role he's been "given" while simultaneously playing into it. His whole Peter Lukas arc is very much a part of that. Essentially he's saying I'm not important enough to contribute the way you are (inferiority) but I'm still going to try and control things behind the scenes (saviour). So when Jon goes to save him it breaks that, he looks him in the eyes and tells him you, Martin K Blackwood are Important, you make an impact and you Mean Something. You don't have to save us all. It's such an important part of his character arc and honestly it blows me away every time I think about it.

Plus obviously the whole isolation thing is just so AGH it's just so built in to his character it makes complete sense that he has a tendency to isolate himself. It fulfills both the inferiority and saviour - he doesn't think he's important enough to be missed but also he feels like it'll push them into missing him. Solving the problem and putting himself down in one fell swoop.

Our final stage of Martin is one that is far from perfect, far from healed but absolutely closer than he was at the beginning. He shows more of himself, in working towards realising he makes an impact on people, telling jokes and just sharing his thoughts to Jon. So what does him stabbing Jon mean for this? Honestly I'm not entirely sure (I'm gonna be honest I did not realise this rant would be so long lol) but I'm thinking along the lines of this is an ultimate show of acceptance of his significance and rejection of his need to save people. He is committing the most direct act of all, he's doing this in the same need to help people but instead of being manipulative about it, he's just directly doing what needs to be done. But also he's not saving Jon, he's doing the complete opposite. He couldn't control Jon's response to the situation, as much as he wanted to, so he did what jon wanted. I might not be explaining this right cause I'm not entirely sure what I mean either but I'm trying to say it's a poetic end. It's separate from everything he was but in a way that's parallel to and pays homage to his struggles. He's still being sort of a saviour and he's still arguably not the most important person in this scenario but the point is that it's in a different way than he's used to. In my opinion, a better way.

Anyway yeah thank you for enabling me, I didn't know how much I needed this rant and I didn't know I had so much to say lol. <3

[theotterpenguin]

what’s your take on zutara being “you’re the wind, i’m in the water”. i’ve heard k@t@@ngs saying it’s clearly about their ship bc their elements are air and water but isn’t that a very surface level of understanding of the lyrics?

anon, i adore you for this ask because i love chemtrails over the country club (and lana's music in general).

i'm not surprised that people would try to apply this song to katara and aang because yes, at a surface level it's relevant to them for obvious reasons (water vs. wind), but i agree that the lyrics have far more depth than this.

first, we have to look at the context of the lyrics within the song. "you're in the wind, i'm in the water" presents a romanticized view of the separation of two lovers, just as the two elements brush past each other but never become one. this theme of separation is seen throughout the rest of the song as lana contrasts the privileged bubble of suburbia with the harsh reality of society, the darkness lurking behind a beautiful front.

likewise, zuko and katara have similar character arcs that revolve around an awakening to the harsh truths of society. zuko learns that the beauty and the power of the fire nation is just a facade, hiding the extreme cruelty of its colonialism and imperalism that has hurt all people (which goes hand-in-hand with zuko unlearning the abuse from his father, the personification of the fire nation itself). katara's arc involves a similar type of awakening, as she unlearns some of the dichotomous thinking she's held around the fire nation. her experiences with jet, hama, the sexism of the northern water tribe, the fire nation village in the painted lady, and even zuko show her the complexities of the war and teach her that people aren't always as simple as "good" or "evil." essentially, both zuko and katara undergo parallel character arcs that fundamentally change their worldview, reflective of the theme of chemtrails over the country club.

additionally, the "wind" and "water" that symbolize the separation of the two lovers in the song is also reminiscent of zuko and katara's journey - the two characters that have been pitted against each other from the beginning of the show, their opposing goals of protecting the avatar vs. capturing the avatar, daughter of the chieftain of the southern water tribe vs. prince of the fire nation, and the two characters that end every season finale in an climactic fight scene (first on opposing sides, then on the same side). and if you want an even more bittersweet perspective, there's also the fact that they are doomed by the narrative, two lovers who never end up together in this lifetime, fated to be separated.

if we want to look further into the song, i've also seen the lyric "nobody's son, nobody's daughter" being superficially applied to aang and katara as they have both experienced loss, but again, in the context of the actual show, it's katara and zuko who are repeatedly paralleled with this connection of losing their mothers and being separated from their fathers. katara discusses her grief over losing kya with haru, jet, and aang, but it's only her and zuko's connection over this that carries actual narrative weight in the story. and katara is the only person that zuko discusses the loss of his mother with. so it only makes sense that all of these narrative parallels culminate in the southern raiders, an episode vital to katara's character arc in which zuko is a crucial supporting character. you could also argue this ties in with the overall theme of separation in the song - being separated from your parentage and having to forge your own path.

finally, as a fun little addition, one of the other lyrics in the song is "my moon's in leo, my cancer is sun." and hmm, who are the two characters we typically associate with the moon and sun? (hint: "you rise with the moon, i rise with the sun"). but wait - it goes even deeper than that. i am most definitely not an expert on zodiac signs, but according to some basic googling, leo (a fire element) is typically ruled by the sun, while cancer (a water element) is typically ruled by the moon. by switching up what elements we typically associate with the signs, lana is reflecting on the duality and the unpredictability of herself like how she reflects on the duality of society earlier in the song. and similarly, zuko and katara undergo dual character arcs bound by elemental symbolism. despite being a waterbender, katara also personifies the element of fire - the element of passion, power, and will - as she stands up against injustice and refuses to back down from a fight. and despite being a firebender, zuko's arc also personifies the element of water - the element of change and adaptability - as zuko's perception of himself, his father, and the fire nation changes over time. they are both water and fire, both moon and sun, both yin and yang.

[oceanwithouthermoon]

no hate to twitter tdlosk community but they r such a hive mind i have to avoid that particular interest on that particular platform.. like i just saw a thread of people saying their opinions on ships and like theres nooo flavor im sorry.. every single ship except for the most popular ones are all "ew.." "no." "siblings." babes why is there nooo flavor !! i think the reason i hate it so much is because instead of being like "eh i like this ship, not really this one" with them it has to be a whole thing of "this is why i hate this ship and everyone who likes it is weird and gross" like chill !!! hate ur ships in peace like the freaking rest of us ok !!!

[eeby-beeby-saiki-k-fan-blog]

You know I mentioned once that Kusuke was like if you made a whole person out of the bad aspects of every Saiki. He has that weird creepiness toward Kusuo that Kumagoro has, the deceivingly harmless demeanor of Kurumi and Kumi, the pathetic asshole nature of Kuniharu, and the general mindset that he's above everyone like Kusuo.

Gotta wonder if that was the intent when making the character or if I'm reading too much into it, but regardless I think it's pretty funny.

[diariodeunrincondemi]

So I just finished reading the first book of Acotar (A court of thorns and roses) and, to be honest, it was awful, sorry. I know this saga has a lot of fans and I am the first person that have read terrible, bad-written stories (I mean, one of my fav sagas as a teen was Eragon). But this book…Is the worst book I’ve read in years (and the last one was Hush Hush in 2018, but at least I had good laughs reading it).

The thing is (personal opinion): there’s nothing original in this book. The characters don’t have any development nor their relationships and dynamics. The romance doesn’t romance and the spicy doesn’ spicy, like, I mean it is the most anti-romantic and anti-¿erotic? story that I’ve read while it is supposed to have romance and eroticism. I didn’t feel anything except for cringe and boredom.

There were some parts that were, at best, ok, like the first chapters until Feyre is ¿kidnaped? and when she comes back with her family till Amrantha’s riddle. Just that, only 110 pages out of 456 (the spanish edition) were ok.

And the characters…only Rhysand made me feel interest. Tamlin was there just existing and I think that’s sad, because he would be perfect to be a classic hero full of kindness and with a really pure heart (when I say that he was there just existing is that I find him pretty passive and this feeling is probably due to his lack of development). I would have loved that during the time Tamlin and Feyre spent in the Spring Court them as characters and also their relationship had more developement, something similar to Jude and Cardan but with less hate and being more lovely, more romantic, with more (and better) romantic and sexual tension.

And I don’t know if it is just me, but I found this book pretty mysoginistic, heteronormative and classist. Prythian doesn’t offer a different alternative from the real world and being fantasy (and sci-fi) a genre that have always had the power to makes us dream with better options, better futures and alternatives…I don’t know, just look how Ursula K. used to write, the Ekumen and Earthsea were so interesting and different and yet they did have the most classic elements of western sci-fi and fantasy…

I didn’t have any expectation with this book, but since it is so popular I thought that maybe, at least, it could be interesting, and still I was so dissapointed…

PS: it is possible that I still keep reading the saga just because my friends told me that it improves in the second and third book.

PS2: I forgot to talk about the map…the Iberian Peninsula mixed with France? Seriously? An unified Ireland being the oppressors and bad guys and colonialists against Great Britain? Like seriously?

[modern-oedipus]

I really can’t get over how adorable Saiki and Teruhashi are.

I really love how she went through a whole character arc from the obsessive need gain the interest of the only guy who rejected her solely because she can’t accept rejection, to accepting Saiki as the person he is and loving him by all the aspects she sees. I love how Saiki became the subject of her love, with all his introverted personality and traits; rather than being an object, a reward of just receiving another oofffuuu.

I love how Saiki got to hear everything on her mind, including her thought process. I love how he always looks out for her and respects her best efforts to keep his “best girl” attitude instead of judging her for it. I love how Saiki started from thinking “I must find a way to make her stay away from me, she only wants me because I rejected her.” to “You all do not even see how much she is trying so hard to keep the standards you all set on her. You don’t even notice how tired she is. Enough of being the perfect girl, let’s get you to the infirmary and rest.” at some point and then eventually— when Teruhashi chooses to be herself despite having a burn out over her love rival, Saiki does give her an oofffffuu. He blushes. She’s sure she heard it wrong.

Their relationship is one of the most adorable, genuine and healthy one I have ever seen— I never expected them to help each other grow as people and have such a wholesome relationship, especially to consider that the Pretty Girl x Main Character is an overused trope. But here I am. Kinning Teruhashi and admiring Saiki/Teruhashi and smiling so much.

[joking-suggestions]

a kind of analysis on albedo

I feel like a lot of people mischaracterized albedo a lot since he's an artificial human being and he constantly gets compared to an emotionless robot when, well...he clearly is not.

as a homunculus albedo was created with the intent of following the sample of any other human being, as Wikipedia says:

" A homunculus (UK: /hɒˈmʌŋkjʊləs/ hom-UNK-yuul-əs, US: /hoʊˈ-/ hohm-, Latin: [hɔˈmʊŋkʊlʊs]; "little person") is a representation of a small human being, originally depicted as small statues made out of clay. Popularized in sixteenth-century alchemy and nineteenth-century fiction, it has historically referred to the creation of a miniature, fully formed human. "

this means that those children, except for their peculiarities, were not that different from any other human child.

" That the sperm of a man be putrefied by itself in a sealed cucurbit for forty days with the highest degree of putrefaction in a horse's womb, or at least so long that it comes to life and moves itself, and stirs, which is easily observed. After this time, it will look somewhat like a man, but transparent, without a body. If, after this, it be fed wisely with the Arcanum of human blood, and be nourished for up to forty weeks, and be kept in the even heat of the horse's womb, a living human child grows therefrom, with all its members like another child, which is born of a woman, but much smaller. "

just because albedo was artificially created does not affect his cognitive processing of feelings.

moreover, I think this misconception originated from the fact that albedo is apparently a calm and reserved person. but of course we know that someone relatively calmer isn't necessarily cold-hearted, they just have a subtle way of expressing themselves. an introvert isn't a cold person, do you agree, my introverted fellas?

genshin tries to additionally point out in its special events how albedo is warm at heart and is slowly learning (through the traveler and his personal life experiences) how to open up to others. that's called character development.

Albedo's Artwork - Friendship Lv. 4

" (...) When strolling through Mondstadt, he enjoys sketching and painting all manner of living things, but particularly people in moments of joy. Sometimes, he even gifts his artwork to his unsuspecting models, believing that when a work of art captures a transient moment of enjoyment, it is something worth treasuring. (...) "

I would like to ask you, would a numb and insensitive person gift their sketches to random strangers on the street just to make them smile? or...would such a person try to look after a child? listen up, if klee loves her older brother so much it's because she truly feels at ease with him. taking care of children isn't an easy task, so of course, albedo needs to be emotionally aware of their feelings in order to properly taking care of them.

besides, I think we also have to take into account how he grew up. "childhood" is fundamental when it comes to our adult personality, as phycology teaches us. albedo has likely spent centuries of his existence by his master's side, probably without getting in touch with anyone but her during that time. he was raised with strict rules to abide by, and rigid learning schemes to attend, otherwise he risked arguably to be abandoned by his mother, the only person he looked up to. so, OF COURSE, albedo is so reclusive, that's just how he was used to live after all this time. now that he's finally living a normal life in mondstadt he's slowly learning how to deal with other people too. it's a process, but he's getting there.

and yet, he still puts work first because that's what he has done for the equivalent of a lifetime, to the point he neglects even his own well-being. that's everything that was taught him. albedo is basically trying to accomplish his master's last mission, everyone else in this case is just a distraction. if he gets distracted he might fail, and failure means disappointing everyone and, consequently, being left alone. again. I like to think that, in the end, albedo doesn't approach people much because he's afraid od rejection. albedo is afraid of not meeting people expectations about him, he is aware that he's different from all the normal folks in town, or even in the world.

but, he's changing. he's slowly learning the importance of befriend other people. perhaps, maybe it's part of his mission, too?

albedo does care. a lot. he struggles with expressing his feelings, but the affection of his friends and family is there and he's getting the importance of it.

[academyofbrokenhearts]

Extra thoughts about Nevertheless

Disclaimer: I did not read the original webtoon, this post is only about the K-drama.

I really liked it, in spite of featuring the two most frustrating characters in history as the mains.

Adult me was constantly rolling her eyes every 20 minutes or so, being all like "oh dear, here we go again, she assumes things and builds up frustration until she either explodes or ignores him completely, and he just shuts up and doesn't share his thoughts or his feelings, and they just PINE in silence and oh lord, this is exhausting".

But my inner twenty something year old? SHE WAS ELATED.

While watching the first episodes, I noticed that for the most part, it's not Jae-eon's actions per se that turn Na-bi away - it's her misinterpretation of those actions, and the opinions of others that turn her away, because other than that, they get along quite well. I'm not saying he's completely innocent in all that transpires - far from it, even, because he does have a tendency to shut down when she assumes the worst, and also to not communicate properly (telling the person he likes that he likes her? too mainstream), so of course they're bound to argue more often than not. However, she's not stellar at communication either - she assumes things, doesn't speak up on what she actually wants (her internal monologue "why can't you my boyfriend?" remains internal, she doesn't actually ask him out until the last episode), and ignores him when she's upset. And yet, as frustrating as this is, I can see where she comes from. I absolutely hate it, don't get me wrong, but I get it.

Having grown up in a quite conservative society myself (although Eastern European rather than Asian), I found Na-bi's thought process so incredibly familiar. As women, we are taught to be ashamed of having sexual desires. Sexual desires are restricted (ideally) to marriage, with the second best thing being an official relationship - everything outside of that turns you into a slut (derogatory). Na-bi obviously is not familiar or comfortable with the concept of hanging out and dating casually (and having casual sex), and is also immensely uncomfortable with the thought that people might think she doesn't respect herself enough because she has a casual relationship (she has yet to reach that extremely liberating stage when you understand that no matter what you do as a woman, you will still be judged, so it's better to do whatever the hell you want). Also she (obviously) wants more than what she gets, she wants an actual relationship with Jae-eon, not only friends with benefits or whatever it is that they are (they never really define their initial encounters), but since she doesn't have enough guts to ask for it, she just asks him to keep everything a secret. And this ends up creating a disconnect not only between her and Jae-eon, but even between her and reality; for example, she accuses him of only wanting to see her when he wants, although she was the one who asked him to keep their encounters a secret, therefore limiting by default their interactions.

That's not to say Jae-eon isn't frustrating. I actually find him even more frustrating than she is, because I can't relate at all to him, and also, I don't feel like his backstory is expanded enough for me to understand where he comes from (his relationship with his mother is somewhat strained, and it's not entirely clear why he broke up with Seol-ah). I must say, however, that I encountered people like this in real life - people who seem friendly and have an incredible energy, but who are in fact very closed off and guarded, and who make you feel like you bang your head against a wall whenever you try to get closer to them. Jae-eon likes Na-bi, but doesn't really know what to do with those feelings, and is perfectly content with their initial encounters, which are very uncomplicated from his perspective (he gets all the domestic, blissful happiness, with none of the work required for an actual romantic relationship). Then, to his surprise, she ends everything, and distances herself from him, and he basically completely freaks out by the end of the show with jealousy and longing, and well... this is basically catnip to me personally (in a strictly fictional sense, I would have zero patience for such a guy in real life), because isn't "drive the normally aloof, cold guy completely out of his mind" a well-known trope for a reason? I loved to see him suffer, I loved to see him lash out, only to be reduced to tears when she says she regrets their relationship and having met him, and I loved beyond measure that at the end they both seem changed by their common experience, and put their desires and wishes clearly into words.

I also loved that the show acknowledges it's not going to be easy for them. They might be compatible in many ways, but their communication styles are bound to clash, and a happy ending is not necessarily in the cards. "I am going to suffer, most likely", their voiceovers tell us, "but whatever, I am going to do it anyway, I am going to take that leap of faith anyway", and I think it's this final conclusion that cemented me liking this entire thing. I don't find the relationship between the mains as toxic as most people seem to think; I rather saw it as a story of two people who are completely inexperienced in matters of romance and communication, who learn things as they go along, and whose reactions are shaped by their lives up until that point as well as the socio-cultural expectations around them. Frustrating? Greatly. But they still have room to grow, and whether they will grow together, or apart, it will still be worth it. That's the final message, I believe.

[patentedsun]

Tainaka Ritsu Appreciation

The most underrated character in ALL OF MEDIA (real).

No because, she's such a well written, grounded character. Everyone in K-On! is beyond loveable, but characters like Yui and Mugi can come off as a little trope-y on occasion. This is all well and fine, but it makes Ritsu stick out so much for me. I love her! so much!! She bounces off so well with every other character, she's so upbeat and energetic, and she's so down to earth. There are so many tid-bits in the show that breathe life into her!! Scoring well on exams despite coming off as lazy and unserious, being good at cooking, being a responsible older sister, etcetcetcetc. When Mugi pointed out how loyal and kind Ritsu really is, I was SQUEALING. Her dynamic with everyone is so unique (<//3 wish she had more scenes with Azusa ) and she fills in a different role for all of them:

Yui: single brain cell owners

Mio: introvert x extrovert

Mugi: head in the clouds vs down to earth

Sawako: just pure comedy gold

I also adore that she does fit into a tomboyish archetype but she's not like... molded into a box to fit it. Her manners and actions go against stereotypical feminine behaviors , but she has diverse tastes and interests and skills. I just appreciate it when 2000s/2010s shows write that archetype without the plague of misogyny, pickmeisms, imnotlikeothergirlisms etc etc, and it makes her feel surprisingly realistic for a show that is more or less just cute girls having fun.

I LOVE HER. I don't know what else to say except <<<<<3

(psst gogomaniac and utauyo miracle has a banger drum track)

[simcardiac-arrested]

Im jus looking at u w big eyes. Tell me what you're autistic about. Infodump get out of jail free card. Any size

oh boy there are. many things. there are so so so many things……. all rattling around my little brain……………….

[na-nanu]

Literally so much kirk/Spock potential with the Shore Leave planet. My only issue is overthinking lol. Because IF they know how the shore leave planet works I think both Kirk and Spock would generally carefully guard against thinking of one another/being on the planet in the first place. Because they’re repressed as hell.

[cult-of-the-eye]

Goodbye, My Danish Sweetheart by Mitski as a jmart song:

"there's nobody better than you/it just took me a while til I knew"

Fuck it's so Jon talking to Martin. He sees Martin as a better person than him, both morally and literally in terms of humanity and it fits his whole S1 ew martin to S4 oh martin arc so well

"but you knew from the start it was us, didn't you/it just took me a while til I knew"

Yep yep yep that's Martin. He loved Jon from the start. Of course Jon's admitting that. And of course he's doing it in such a self deprecating way.

Read more cause this is long

"now I lay as I study a blank wall/would you spare me your voice if I call?"

Ok so we're in Martin's Peter Lukas era right now, Jon is fully pining he's completely checked out and dissociating and he needs Martin to ground him, to be his anchor and he's reaching out in a way that puts the focus on Martin's next move as opposed to him calling which is SO HIM

"Cause you waited and watered my heart 'til it grew/you just grew a little smarter, too"

Fuck he's like you treated me so well, you waited so long for me to like you back but then you realised it was futile and stopped, but obviously you would do that because you're an angel and blameless

"So, I don't blame you/If you want to bury me in your memory/I'm not the girl I ought to be, but/Maybe when you tell your friends/You can tell them what you saw in me/And not how I turned out to be"

Jon's love is just so self deprecating I feel like, he's so acts of service, he's like it's ok that you don't want me, I get it, I'm not loveable but at least I seemed loveable for you to have crushed on me for that long

And and cause Martin's separated from jon, the only thing he has left is his memory of him, the one that lives in his head

"There's some kind of burning inside me/It's kept me from falling apart"

Oh yeah this is so them like Jon's had this drive within him, this incessant need to keep going, to keep finding things out, to keep burrowing deeper into the problem and it's kept him alive cause it's kept him ambitious and it's kept him from being stagnant but it's also been destroying him from the inside cause he can't stop

"And I'm sure that you've seen what it's done to my heart/But it's kept me from falling apart"

But Martin sees this, Martin knows who Jon is and it's almost a plea to try and accept that what's driving him isn't a good thing

"Now here I lay as I wonder about you/would you just tell me what I'm meant to do?"

Jon's like how do I get Martin to come back, how do I get him to be near me, ive tried everything, just tell me and I'll do it

"Cause I've waited and watered my heart 'til it grew/you can see how it's blossomed for you"

Its like a look, you waited for me, now I'll wait for you, I'll take care of myself in your absence to show you how much I care about what you've done for me, I do love you, finally, thank you for waiting all this time

"And I don't mean to make your heart blue/But could we be what we're meant to be?/I'm just about to beg you, please"

God I'm so feral for this last bit

Jon's like I know me begging you to come back is hurting you but I'm finally giving into what you want, you need to come back so we can be together like we're meant to, he's at the end of his tether, he's pleading while threatening to plead

"And then, when you tell your friends/You can tell them what you saw in me/And not the way I used to be"

I'll be better for you, I promise vibes.

[java-lava]

“The only reason girls hate Mineta and Love Denki is because Denki is hot. They are literally the same otherwise!”

No Incel, Denki is a bit pervy but he has other character traits. He is useful in battle, and he is kind and helpful.

Mineta has two character traits;

Perverted

Cowardly

He is almost no help whatsoever in an actual crisis, and to quote a tik tok from the gremlin!Deku au,

“He (mineta) is more likely to prioritize his own life rather than a civilian’s.”

Denki would buy pervy magazines and try to sneak into the girls bathhouse, but if a girl turned him down or outwardly said to stop, he would stop. He is a bit pervy, but he’s not a creep.

Mineta would steal a girls under garments, and would keep harassing a girl if she turned him down.

Take Toritsuka from Saiki K for example,

He isn’t well liked and his pervertedness is NOT overlooked/glorified in the anime or the fandom. He may be good looking but he isn’t beloved, because he is a creep.

So, Incel the reason girls don’t like you isn’t because you are unattractive (you probably are tho) it’s because you have no personality other than being creepy.

[oceanwithouthermoon]

at the end of a lot of my posts involving toritsuka i always stop myself from elaborating too much cuz i end up thinking like 'ah everyones knows how i feel about toritsuka' but DO THEY ?? do they.. because ive gotten (and ignored) multiple asks from people who think i fucking hate toritsuka and its so insane to me because WHERE DID I FUCKING SAY THAT?? guys.

he is literally so silly! i lowkey feel like i need to make a masterpost of everything ive ever said about him just so that i can force it down everyones throats and make you all understand my complex feelings on this stupid dumb idiotic little freak!

its a love-hate kind of obsession <3