#keralis: :C

[hwasang]

shhhh, dont tell princess mmkay?

this is for @shepscapades hermit art challenge! i figured because i couldn't do hermit a day, i might as well give this, more forgiving challenge a go. red life keralis would be both terrifying and hilarious imo. vacillates between the most horrific gorey threats you could possibly imagine, to full on crying about how someone glared at him

and of course he'd go do the shirtless show off abs red skin trend. if he were to team up with anyone (drags xb in whether he wants to play or not), they would pretend not to know him regardless if you could team up with reds or not. personally i do think he would be playing with xb on, and stick to him like glue, becoming ultra possessive over xb despite xb being the more competent of the two. also his non human factors would become more clear as he loses lives, skin "cracking" rather than being cut, leaking and oozing black goo instead of blood, eyes being large but now blackened and huh, are your eyes getting a bit blurry there? try and focus a bit more

[3lsmp]

keralis and masquerain?

he is so pretty. to me.

[hmshermitcraft]

Keralis has lived with the hermits for years, he's always been flirty so they've never had reason to beleive he was in a relationship, until he shows up to a meeting covered with hickies. The hermits are in uproar and Keralis refuses to tell them who did it, bets are passed around, but no one pays attention to the fact that xB's suit collar is just a bit further up than it usually is, or the fact that he and Keralis keep glancing at eachother and giggling.

-C

They're lucky the hermits are so oblivious when they're focused on something. That laser sharp attention is great for getting away with things.

The hickies had been kind of unintentional. They'd never agreed to keep their relationship 'secret' so to speak, but they hadn't been so blatant about it either. Really, xB hasn't got carried away like that before, and Keralis wasn't going to stop him.

The problem now, as they both look at each other, is that they both totally want to see how far they can push it until somebody else realises.

[ijevin-but-everywhere]

Source: Geminitay season 10 episode 1

[lilacsareinbloomagain]

Stargazer anon again! ★彡

I loved your oneshot on Yandere!Impulse. 11/10! If you write more than once for people, would you do smth Yan!Keralis? I'd think of him being a *very* delusional yandere. Like "we're dating even though they barely know me" delusional. Do with that what you will.

Ty! - 🌠

Welcome back Stargazer! I'm happy you liked the Impulse oneshot, thank you for request once again :]

Notes: Once again, I don't know Keralis that much. But I promise I'll try my best. This oneshot took a while since I had to make a bit of a search to know more about his behavior and all.

Also, thanks for the tip, I love it when people give me those.

TWs: Yanderism, maybe ooc Keralis, isolation, mentions of social anxiety and dependency.

C! Keralis X Reader

Not actually innocent

Keralis was nice.

He really was.

You didn't know him much, sure. But whenever you needed something he always seemed to be there, even if you didn't ask something directly to him, he popped up.

When questioned, he told you word got around.

Word sure traveled fast in Hermitcraft, he normally appeared in less than half an hour.

You didn't even know why you weren't friends with him, like, you guys were friendly but not exactly close.

You met him in the first season of Hermitcraft, you two chatted and even did some collaborations. Both of you liked building so it worked out very well in the aesthetic area, but when it came to actually talking and getting closer it didn't happen that much.

Until it happened.

With the help of your friends, the both of you eventually grew closer in season 2 and in season 3 you were practically best friends.

Then he just disappeared.

Keralis went radio silent and never answered anything you guys sent his communicator after he went inactive on the server.

He didn't return for 4 whole years.

In the years he was gone, not only did new people join the server but you got closer to your old friends. You slowly realized how lonely you actually were when Keralis was on the server. The man basically monopolized your attention, every time you were planning to ask one of your other friends to collab or just hang you he immediately took that time, messaging you first.

Of course, you didn't want to think bad of him, maybe he was just very needy of attention? Spending so much time building couldn't have been good for his mental health, so the discovery that he could build and enjoy a nice chat with someone who just fit with him was too good to skip.

And he was also nice, very nice.

So when he came back after 4 years you couldn't bring yourself to confront him.

What you were able to do however, was avoiding him to the best of your ability.

And you did.

During those 4 years, you changed a lot, your personality now seemed to carry a bit of each of your friends as if they all had contributed to building the person you were now by just being there when your best friend abandoned you without further notice.

To be honest, you were sour at the very start of the years without him. You had trouble to be around everyone again, it was almost like he had isolated you without anyone noticing.

In a few months, your new (and old) friends helped you become a better version of yourself and made you miss Keralis a lot less. It was almost like you had lost a piece of yourself by just being so much time around him and not interacting with one else, like your personality had become bland.

Your habits changed a lot, too.

Before, it was almost like you were an extension of Keralis and not your own person.

Keralis tried pretending like nothing had happened when he came back, he acted the same as always.

It was very common for you to have your communicator always blown up with messages and missed calls from him, back then you would respond immediately when they appeared on your screen, now, when he messaged or called, most of the time you were busy with a lot of things.

Now you had a wide range of people to work with, so it wasn't unusual for you to be working with someone and when you guys decided to stop for a break you notice your communicator to be on the verge of glitching with the amount of messages from him.

You have also discovered something called a healthy sleep schedule.

4 years ago you barely napped, spending all day and night building restlessly.

You also discovered how fun other things were, sure, building was awesome, but have you ever explored? Farmed? Spent time with animals??? The list of things you spent time doing now, with other people or even by yourself kept going.

Keralis was restless.

It was almost like- No, you couldn't have been avoiding him. Could you? After all he had done for you?

No, you weren't avoiding him. You wouldn't avoid him of all people. The bond you shared was special, you loved him and he loved you even more.

Of course not! How come he ever even thought about that possibility? Keralis laughed to himself, walking towards your newly built house, seeing you and Grian in the distance, admiring the giant house and talking about something he couldn't hear, laughing and smiling together. He gritted his teeth as Grian stretched his arm across your shoulders, one of his brightly colored wings following his movements and wrapping across your back.

"These guys are getting on my nerves…" He mumbled, his fist gripping the handle of his pickaxe tighter.

Those new people, getting in the middle of you guys relationship, how dare them!

He rolled his eyes as he got closer to you and Grian, able to hear him bidding his goodbyes before flying away in the direction of the sea, where his base was located.

You were smiling, as you stopped waving and turned back you almost jumped, raising your hands in surprise at the figure of Keralis right behind you.

"Oh, didn't see you there." You smiled, scratching your neck after getting over your precious scare. He smiled back at you, coming to stand right by you, looking out into the distance.

"I think we need to talk." He said, not looking at you.

"Sure, one second I'm just gonna finish making a door to my h-" As you prepared to take a step away, Keralis held your shoulder.

"This is important," You lifted an eyebrow, waiting for what the topic of your important talk would be. "It's about our relationship. "

"Okay, yeah. We really need to talk about our relationship." You gave in, gently pushing his hand off your shoulder and moving to stand face to face with him. A serious expression on your face.

This topic was avoided by you for too long, this wasn't just about your mental health now, you had improved a lot and were okay now, and hopefully you'd be able to help Keralis too. Even if it would hurt him having the truth thrown at his face, this was important if he ever wanted to have friends, to understand how bondaries worked. And despite his terrible mental health, Keralis was a good person, he just needed to acknowledge something was wrong and actually try his best to fix it. And if he was up for it, you would be there to help him, like a good friend really would.

"You have to stop putting people before me." He crossed his arms, you shaked your head.

"That's not- They're my friends!"

"I'm more important than them, am I not??!" He yelled, you were about to speak again when he yelled. "You were supposed to love me!"

You put your hands on his shoulders. Speaking in a slow voice to try and make your words get in his head, furrowing your eyebrows.

"Keralis! This is not healthy."

He sniffed. Nodding his head.

You released a breath in relief. Patting his shoulder with one of your hands before squeezing it one last time.

"We can work this out okay, I'm here to help you." You smiled sadly at him, he lifted his head and smiled back at you, grabbing the hand you put on his shoulder. He held the hand there for a moment before pushing it away gently.

"Okay, now I really should go, it's almost nighttime and I have no doors." You chuckled a bit, glancing back at him before running to your crafting table, waving as you got away.

Ah, this is bad. You got attached to these people in the time he was gone.

Guess it would hurt you more when he isolated you from them again.

Still,you were so loyal to him, only made his love for you grow. Good to know you still loved him as well, it would make the process easier.

[jetsskeee]

keralis u two timer son of a btch i love u

[insomniaruler]

I have more ~H E A D C A N O N S~

The Hermitcraft ‘medic’

Now not all servers have medics, most private large servers do (such as Ponk on Dsmp). The medics role is to either give someone a quick death and painless if they have infinite respawn and it’d be easier to heal from the respawn than the injury. But if infinite respawn isn’t an option (once again like the dsmp) they heal people to the best of their ability. They all swear an oath to keep players away from perma-death no matter who they are. The largest servers have actual hospitals (such as hypixel).

So on Hermitcraft who’s the medic? I’m so glad you asked! I have a handful of possible headcanons.

1. Doc. I cannot stress this enough but this man is not a medical doctor. He can make stellar prothstetics but he can’t tell lungs from hearts no matter how much he tries to convince us with Doctor literally being in his name. do not let him near your broken arm because you will wake up with a prothstetic instead (yes this did happen to ren[no neither regret it])

2. Stress, she technically doesn’t have the training necessary but! She mostly heals using magic because you cannot convince that she is not a Druid. She’d be quite good at it! You would be healed but the likelihood plants rising up is small, but never zero.

3. GEM! Where’s this coming from? Well! GeminiTay has a bachelor’s in Medical Laboratory technologies IRL! So I feel Gem gets to the server she looks at Druid Stress trying her best and Doc ‘how many people can I convince I’m a medical doctor’ m77 and just sighs. She has Stress on as a nurse together they’ve been trying to get Mumbo and Etho to stop eating Redstone (because it is very toxic)

4. Keralis, resident therapist, very important on Hermitcraft

5. X, he has admin magic, enough to heal him as needed but it’d probably fry a normal persons immune system.

[redstonedust]

im obsessed with the kerilson lore bc no matter which way u intepret it u either have to take it as confirmation that either:

a) there is yet another weird interdimensional being on hermitcraft that barely anybody knows or cares about bc its got a fixation on xb and xb only

b) there is something weird and inexplicably inhuman about keralis, which honestly this isnt even the first sign of

c) xbcrafted is just hallucinating his way through season 9

and either option just opens so many questions to me /pos

[dmwrites]

Joel was sweeping the snow out of his house (damn those snowmen that kept popping up, tracking snow into everyone’s houses), when someone landed behind him.

“Ah, Papa Cheeks, is it?”

Joel turned around to find a wide-eyed man standing before him. “Well, only Sausage gets to call me that- how on earth do you know it?”

“Ah, forgive me.” The man put his hand to his chest. “I am Keralis, I was one of the hermits who was in your wonderful empire lands. I stayed with Papi Sausage in Sanctuary, we had a wonderful time together.” Keralis held out a hand.

Joel shook it, squinting at the man. “You know, I don’t really remember seeing you about.”

“Ah, yes.” Keralis shook his head, cupping Joel’s hand with both of his own. “Well, if I am to be honest, and I am an honest man, I only stayed with the lovely Sausage for a week, and it was quite the pleasurable week, indeed.”

“Yeah, I bet.” Joel muttered, looking Keralis up and down.

“But then, I was called to another realm, as you all call them, and I had to go. But I am back, both with my hermits and new friends such as yourself, Papa Cheeks.” Keralis said, ending his statement with a wink. “But, as it were, I have some, ah, apologies to make. My princess is very upset with me, and I need a present to make it up to him.”

“Present? Well, you’ve come to the right god!” Joel said, breaking away from Keralis’ grasp and lead him over to a chest. “I happen to be quite good at making children. Head, armor stand, the standard stuff. And they’re gift-wrappable too, you just gotta make sure there’s a few air holes.”

“I heard of your skills from your baby daddy.” Keralis purred. “You are quite correct, I was looking for a child, as I’ve read that fixes most relationship problems.”

“You’re so right.” Joel said, lying through his teeth. He went through the whole process of making the child, including the running around and shouting. When the child was finished, Joel held them in his arms and held out his hand to Keralis.

“So, that’ll be three diamond blocks, please.”

Keralis made a tisk tisk noise. “Ah, well, Papa Cheeks, that is a mighty price… you are a guest in these lands, after all.”

Joel rolled his eyes. “Oh please, I know you hermits are all loaded. And no amount of sweet talking can change my mind. I’m not Sausage.”

“Ah, ah, ah, now, now, let’s not be rude or hasty…” Keralis said, taking a few steps forward, until he was uncomfortably close to Joel. “Look into my eyes, nothing but my eyes…”

“What are you- oh.” Joel couldn’t help himself. He looked right into those wide eyes, and they were mesmerizing. Joel couldn’t look away, didn’t want to look away. His mind felt floaty, and his jaw fell slack.

“Now, about that price…” Keralis said, voice low and dominating.

“Yeah. Free for you.” Joel found himself saying. He didn’t know why he said it, but it must have been the right thing to do. His hands moved of their own accord, handing Keralis the child.

“Clever girl….”

It was the last thing Joel heard before he passed out.

——

“Princess!”

xB scoffed. “Don’t even, Keralis. I’m still mad at you.”

“But I have a gift for you!” Keralis said cheerfully.

“Bribery?” xB asked, looking up and almost choking on his own spit in surprise. Keralis was holding a child in his arms.

“Keralis.”

“xB. My princess.”

“What is that.”

Keralis set the child down, and they went off to investigate a small slime that was bouncing around xB’s cavern.

“That is a child. For you. And I. A present to you, Princess!” Keralis spread his arms wide as if wanting a hug.

xB stared at Keralis, then at the child, then back at Keralis, mouth open. “You’re kidding, right? I- where on earth did you even get a child? Did you steal it?”

“Well, no, well, yes, okay, listen, Princess. I knew you were mad, and I heard about a new shop that had popped up from one of the empires guys, a god named Joel. He makes children out of armor stands, and very kindly made one for us!”

“Very kindly… Keralis, did you use your eyes on him?” xB asked. The child wandered back over and tugged on xB’s pants. xB picked them up without really thinking about it, bouncing them around as he stared at Keralis.

“Ah, well, yes, I did. It was expensive! And it was Sausage’s baby daddy, so I felt it was only right.” Keralis replied.

“Oh, here we go again, Sausage this, Sausage that!” xB said, rolling his eyes. He wasn’t actually mad, but he couldn’t help yanking on Keralis’ chain about it.

“Ah! Princess, I am sorry! Let me- I’ll get you another child right now!”

“No, oh my god, Keralis good lord no!” xB tried to stop him, but Keralis was already gone.

[preyandhunter]

Flesh and Blood [The Masterlist]

Hey hi howdy.

here's a list of absolutely everyone ever that is going to be taking part in this story

[warning. looooong post ahead]

For reference:

Ghouls are ranked C - SS: C is the lowest, SS is borderline godlike.

Doves (not canon to tg) are ranked Tier's 1 - 4: 1 is the lowest, 4 is virtually unstoppable.

Disclaimer: we will not be using the hermits'/others' irl names. decided if it was funnier to make fake names for all of them based on usernames.

(in the actual story we will be using the names in quotation marks lol)

Buford "Bdubs" O'Hunred [Dove] :: Tier 2 - Machete Quinque - Wears a ghillie suit and thinks it looks cool

Bos "Beef" Vintage [Ghoul :: B Class - "The Butcher" Kokaku: Horns + Six legged Bull Kakuja - Dude wash your apron

Ben "Bigb" Biggie [Ghoul] :: B Class - "The Frog" Triple orange rinkaku tails - Teenage Mutant Ninja . . . froggie grown man!

Cub Goodfan [Ghoul] :: C Class - "The Magician" Ukaku vex wings - Of the two of them, really you'd think this one would be the crazy one

Cleo Zombie [Ghoul] :: A Class - "The Gorgon" Tiny wings + six snake tails - Her name could have led to some good brand opportunities

Dr. Maddox Sevensven "Doc" [Ghoul] :: A Class - "The Goat" Bone kokaku + Goatskull kakuja - The career change really made things complicated

Ethos "Etho" Lab [Dove] :: Tier 3 - Sniper quinque with high caliber Q bullets. - y'know what they call me? call me ladders. cuz i go up real high...

Fals "False" Symmetria [Dove] :: Tier 2 - Sword quinque, morphs into winged broadsword. - Oh her and Wels go waaaay back!

Fhwip "Fwip" Taylor [Dove] :: Tier 3 - Sickle quinque - Y'know what they say about younger siblings growing up to replace you? Yeah. That.

Gemini "Gem" Taylor [Dove] :: Tier 3 - Whipsword quinque. - Youngins these days kick butt way harder than they used to

Grian Spurman [Human] :: S Class* - Red wings quinque backpack - Some would say that's cannibalism O-o

Haech "Hbomb" Bomber [Dove] :: Tier 2 - Yknow back in my day

Hels Gnitte [Dove] :: Tier 2 - Spiderman pointing meme

Hypnos "Hypno" Tizzede [Human] :: n/a - Going once, going twice, sold to the man with no front teeth!

I Jevin Aquamarine Gaimen "Jevin" [Ghoul] :: A Class - Two bright blue bikaku tails - They say surfing is a sport in California. Don't know where the couches came from.

Impulse Essve [Human] :: n/a - Occupational hazard or not, he's getting his goddamn coffee

Iskall Eigh Fivva [Dove] :: Tier 1 - Non Newtonian bikaku blade quinque - (floppy)HAMMERTIME

Joel Beans Smallish [Human] :: n/a - Cast iron pans work wonders

Joseph "Joe" Hills [Human] :: n/a - Journalism just got way more dangerous

Kera Liss "Keralis" [Human*] :: n/a - Hmm, how'd you get there?

Lizzie D Shadowlady [Ghoul] :: C class - "Housecat" 3 toed talons kokaku - No officer, there's no one here, just this very cat like cat...

Martyn LilWood [Dove] :: Tier 2 - Standard sword quinque. Possibly with a rocket on the end. - Not quite taking the lone wolf schtick to heart

Mumbo K. Jumbo [Ghoul] :: B Class - "The Suit" Double kokaku claws - Mondays amiright

Pearl Escentmoon [Human] :: n/a - Worst. Field trip. Ever.

Pix Elrif [Ghoul] :: C class - "Automaton" Single tail bikaku - The cat distribution system but he is the cat

Ren Thedog [Ghoul] :: S class - "The Red Wolf" Single tail Rinkaku + wolf head kakuja - oh hey how you doing nice to meet- SQUIRREL???

Saus "Sausage" J Mythica [Human] :: n/a - The world's best chewy stress toy

Scar Goodfan [Ghoul] :: SS class -"The Vex" Ukaku vex wings + 2 bikaku tails + Perfect Kakuja - no chill having, no leg having, no craps given, no fear having ass

Scott Dangtha Longie Major [Dove] :: Tier 1 - Spear quinque - Doing his best ;w;

Skizz LeMann [Ghoul] :: C class - "Lucifer" 4 feathered rinkaku tails - One beer away from getting in the maid outfit

Tress "Stress" Monstre [Dove] :: Tier 2 - Warhammer quinque - Holds all of the tea. And yeah, that's a lot.

Tango Tekk [Ghoul] :: C class - "Helios" Single wing, combustible, ukaku - Is absolutely not compensating for anything

Tin Foilchef "TFC" [Dove] :: Tier 4 - Double edged scythe, polymorph, quinque - Judge, Justice and Executioner

Timothy "Jimmy" Solidarity [Ghoul] :: C class - "Canary" Deformed wing Ukaku - The vibe is strong with this one. That vibe was wet cat.

Wels K. Nite [Ghoul] :: B Class - "The Knight" Reptilian wing Ukaku - huh, well that's awkward

Xb Crafheld [Ghoul] :: A Class - "Guardian" Fused double tail bikaku - If he had a nickel every time he was friends with a suspicious man, he would have two nickels.

Xisuma "X" Vhoide [Dove] :: Tier 3 - Multiple quinques - Has one and a half eyeballs

Amusix "eX" Vhoide* [Dove] :: Tier 2 - Crossbow quinque - There's a crime here about to be committed...

Zed Aphlays [Ghoul] :: C class - "The Ram" Bikaku Sheep's foot - One good day away from committing arson

Zloy Exphee [Human] :: n/a - These journalists seriously need to chill.

[hmshermitcraft]

xB has always loved playing hard to get, teasing people is one of his favorite things to do, so it just makes sense that Keralis would get tired of it after a bit. He's not mad at xB, no, he just wants to find a way to actually get at him, see his actual reaction to the flirting and not just the jokey comments. So he pins him to a wall. Keralis has never seen xB this red, he really didnt think that would affect xB that much, and he certainly will use that knowledge I'm the future now.

-C

It's the first time xB really clicked that oh. Keralis is serious about the flirting, huh. Of course, that had to be whilst Keralis has him pinned against a wall so close that if they breathe in at the same time their chests touch-

xB knows he's slightly on the shorter side but come on, dude. How's he supposed to react normally to this? He can barely swallow, nevermind get out a flirty reply!

And then Keralis just steps away and leaves him?! Oh he better not leave it at that, they have unfinished business!

[lilacsareinbloomagain]

Masterlist

Welcome!!

Fandoms I write for (currently):

Legend Of Zelda

Linked Universe

Resident Evil

About requests:

Mostly, this blog is about yandere, but I accept everything (Except some stuff I don't feel confident writing about). So if you want to request something don't be shy! If I do not feel able to write your request (for whatever reason) I'll answer your ask in private, so don't worry!

Also, yes, suggestive content or just plain out smut is allowed

Posts by Fandom division

Legend of Zelda

Oneshots:

(nothing yet!)

Fanfics:

The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword, the start of everything.

[Skyward Sword Reader insert]

Prologue.

Chapter one.

Linked Universe

Oneshots:

Debt to pay.

[Platonic yandere! Chain x Reader]

In a way, Time was like a cat.

[Yandere! LU! Time x Reader]

Headcannons for yandere Sky, Time and Hyrule.

[Yandere! LU! Sky, Time and Hyrule x Reader]

This is a robbery, not romantic.

[Yandere! LU! Sky x Reader]

Yandere headcannons for Hyrule and Four.

[Yandere! LU! Hyrule and Four X Reader]

A smile and a silent princess.

[Yandere! LU! Warriors and Sky x Reader]

Yandere Legend and Wind Headcannons.

[Platonic yandere! LU! Wind & Reader]

[Yandere! LU! Legend x Reader]

Mollis; soft, gentle, tender [...]

[Yandere! LU! Sky, Warriors and Time x Reader]

I tried the Kabedon challenge on my friends (WENT WRONG!1!1!) (THEY FOUGHT!1!1)(/SRS!1!1!)

[Yandere! LU! Sky and Warriors x Reader]

Soft moments with Sky receiving forehead kisses right after almost dying.

[Yandere! LU! Sky x Reader]

Them being yandere dorks in love, that's it.

[Yandere! LU! Warriors, Four and Hyrule x Reader]

Fanfics:

I almost died series.

[Yandere! Chain x Reader]

I know I almost died but like, it's really not that deep. [part one]

I almost died, of boredom this time. [part two]

Resident Evil

Oneshots:

I may be late for Christmas.

[Yandere! Leon Kennedy x Reader]

You just need to relax.

[Yandere! Leon Kennedy x Reader]

Fanfics:

(nothing yet!)

Hermitcraft

Oneshots:

What fear of rejection can cause.

[C! Yandere! Impulse SV x Reader]

Not actually innocent.

[C! Yandere! Keralis x Reader]

Fanfics:

(Nothing)

[you-will-meet-your-downfall]

Incorrect quotes w/ the hermits

-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-

Grian: You know how I roll. Grian: And I’m not talking about that time I fell into a pile of dung at the foot of a hill.

-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-

Grian: This is bothering me. Xisuma: Well, you are digging up a corpse. Grian: No, not that. That's, uh, pretty far for the course, actually.

-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-

Impulse & Tango: So what’s for dinner? Zedaph, staring at the food they just burnt: Regret.

-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡- Grian, when he first joined hermitcraft: Good morning everyone! Eggs-eyee-zoooomaaa has let me join the hermitcraft server, and I am about to make it everyones problem.

-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-

Xisuma: A theif. Scar: Thief? Xisuma: Theif. Xisuma: I before E, except after C. Scar: Thceif. Xisuma: No. -♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-

*The squad right before Xisuma's wedding* Mumbo: Well I have to go, I have a wedding to attend. Grian: Wait... Oh! I have a wedding to attend too! Scar: Oh, I have a wedding to attend as well Bdubs: I THINK WE ALL HAVE WEDDINGS TO ATTEND Keralis, panicked: I THINK I HAVE A WEDDING TO OFFICIATE

-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-

'Can I copy the homework?' Xisuma: I can help you with it! Mumbo: Yeah, sure. Grian: Bold of you to assume I did the homework. Scar: lol nope. Bdubs: Wait, we had homework?!?!?! Doc: Read 5:55pm

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*The squad is over at Xisuma's house* Mumbo: Ohhhh, we each get our own oven? Xisuma: ... N-No... Xisuma, laughing: How many ovens do you think I have??? Mumbo, motioning to their kitchen: Three, I thought! Grian: I see a- Xisuma, motioning to one device: This is a microwave. Mumbo: Oh, well I- Xisuma: Hey wait wait, actually- hang on- *fiddles with the buttons on the microwave* Xisuma, amazed: Its got a bake setting! Scar: Ohoho, you learn something new every day! Bdubs: Do we- Do we roshambo for who gets to pick first? Xisuma: Now I've just discovered I have more ovens than I thought, we don't have to roshambo nothin! Xisuma: I am someone who owns four ovens... Xisuma, louder and way too happy: I am someone... who owns FOUR OVENS... Xisuma: I didn't know I was so rich with ovens... Keralis, pointing to another appliance: Also the toaster oven! Xisuma: Mumbo: Ohhh, toasty boy! Four- Five ovens! Xisuma: Xisuma, ECSTATIC: I AM SOMEONE WHO OWNS FIVE OVENS

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Grian: Rules are made to be broken. Xisuma: They were made to be followed. Nothing is made to be broken. Mumbo: piñatas. Scar: Glow sticks. Bdubs: Karate boards. Keralis: Spaghetti when you have a small pot. Grian: Rules. Xisuma:

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Mumbo: If I accidentally sat on a voodoo doll of myself, would I be trapped forever in that position, doomed to starve to death? Xisuma: How am I supposed to know? Grian: You say, as if we don’t use you as a source of knowledge of the occult. Xisuma: *sighs* Xisuma: You wouldn't be trapped.

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[nonhumanhermitheadcanons]

Bdubs has Plant magic, and flowers will sprout when he sneezes. Keralis gets really bad hay fever. Chaos ensues

Keralis keeps saying that he doesn't blame Bdubs, because the flowers he sprouts are always Keralis' favourites. But sneezing is contagious, and as soon as Keralis starts it triggers an endless back-and-forth of sneezing and an increasing amount of flowery plants! Thankfully, after another hermit has pulled them away from each other they can laugh about it c:

[xbralis]

i tried so hard to advocate for xb/keralis/xisuma for so long but i thought about aro c!xisuma a whole one time and ive never been the same since

aro xisuma who is also completely comfortable and good natured about keralis flirting bc he finds it amusing. do yall understand my vision.

[2uuno]

thinking about tango hcs8 again. god i miss that guy. like he's right here in multiple ways but i miss his giant bug eyes. his ridiculous pranks. the futility of his final voyage to the moon. everyone else was busy trying to save themselves and he tried to save everyone. and it didnt fucking work it was never going to work but he tried anyways. hashtag normalgirl moment

DON'T SAY THAT IM GOING TO CRY. my headmate hc8 keralis was telling stories the other day and i was sitting here like :'-C. and then ker finished the story with "i never got to give him back his wine opener because he died a week later" and i was like FUCK.