#kids from happy homes don’t run away at 16 with boys they fall in love with

[jayjeebee]

✨

[boldlyvoid]

Amoreena | Chapter Five

Chapter Five

main summary: Heaven is a real place and it's located exactly 14.6 miles away from the FBI, Quantico Headquarters. Off behind a small park, under a fantastical willow tree surrounded by wildflowers, in every colour young minds can imagine.

Don't forget, heaven also comes with angels.

Chapter Summary: (fluff only) weekly Saturday reading only they are joined by an extra 15 lost boys, not just Spencer

Warnings (adding as they happen): fluff, hurt/comfort, depressed spencer, reader has a daughter, falling in love, strangers to lovers, library smut, oral (female receiving) lots and lots of fluff

word count: 3K

from the beginning <3

He woke up Saturday morning to the sound of a bunch of voices coming from beyond the walls of his room. Only it wasn’t his room, it was the room he slept in when he stayed with Y/N and Amoreena, he hasn’t left since he arrived on Thursday and he had no plan to either.

They still hadn’t told her about their relationship, not wanting her to come crawling into bed with her mom in the morning to find Spencer there too. She wasn’t ready to explain to Amoreena what it meant for Spencer to be in her bed, how they were in love and that she might need to learn how to knock before entering.

So he slept in the spare room, completely contently because he knew she was only on the other side of the wall, instead of 30 minutes away like she would be when he slept at his own apartment.

It had been a week since he saw them reading in the park, and now they were his family. It was incredibly fast, anyone who heard the news would say so. But that’s how his life worked, he blew through everything incredibly fast, it only made sense for him to skip every step in the book and become a stepdad overnight.

He woke up then, missing Y/N and Amoreena as he thought about the last week. Finally getting dressed and peaking outside, through the crack in the blinds, to see what was going on on the farm.

There were a bunch of men in the field with the cows dropping new cattle off in a big truck as a bunch of children ran around the yard. Y/N wasn’t kidding when she said her 7 siblings had produced 15 cousins for Amoreena to play with. Children all between the ages of toddler and 7-years-old, screaming while they ran after Rufus and the cats, it was a pure dopamine rush to witness.

He found Y/N in the living room, a book in one hand and a coffee in the other, “good morning cutie, all the ruckus on the farm wake you up?” She did her best fake southern accent as she smiled at him. Beautiful as ever in the early morning sunshine.

He nodded with a yawn, sitting beside her and snuggling into her shoulder. She placed her mug in his hands so she could wrap an arm around him and pull him in closer, letting him take a sip of coffee and become a real person again.

He noticed she was reading a book he had never seen before, reading the pages and not know the words. It was a first for him.

“What’s that one about?”

Y/N closed it to let him look at the cover. It was a hand-bound book, wrapped in green fabric that was at least 30 years old and in well-loved condition. The gold lettering reading Amoreena, along with a pressed gold rose and the author's name. He had never heard of it before.

“My grandma was an aspiring writer and the reason I love books so much, her name was Peggy and she had a dream once about a wonderful little girl named Amoreena and the magical life she created for herself. She wrote it all down and my grandpa had it typed and bound for her, she was so proud of this book,” Y/N gushed, smiling as she held it to her chest softly, thinking of all the memories Spencer didn’t know yet.

“Really?” Spencer couldn’t help but smile at her.

She nodded softly, “she loved Elton John, so much so that when my sister Ashley came out she threw her a party. Almost all those kids out there are Ashley's, by the way, she went down the adoption and foster root after I did IVF.”

She pointed out the front window at all the people gathered on her land, “Ben and Dylan dropped their kids off too while they help dad and Evan with the farm. Those are my brothers in case you didn’t know their names yet, there’s also Carver and Francis but they don’t live as close.”

Her little life was just so perfect, “did they want to come with us to read this afternoon? We need some lost boys.”

“They’d love that, are you sure you can handle 16 kids between the two of us?” she smiled, pure love spreading through her body as she held him.

“They’re not so different from psychopaths right?” He teased, watching her settle against him even more as they enjoyed their Saturday together.

“What else can you tell me about your grandma?” He snuggled into her more as he asked, wanting to know as much about her happiness as possible.

“She was always listening to music, she loved Elton's song Amoreena the most. It was the song she played for the majority of my childhood. It only made sense for me to name my little miracle Amoreena too, cause I wouldn’t have her unless nanny suggested I have a baby.”

“I would have loved to meet her.”

Y/N’s smile changed then, “she would have loved you and your big mind.”

“My mom wants to meet you and Amoreena,” he announces softly, he hasn’t really told her anything about his family yet.

“What’s she like?”

“She has schizophrenia and Alzheimer’s and she lives in a care home in DC right now, I try and see her when I can but she has her own schedule so I have to fit around when she’s having a good day,” it was hard to explain it to most people, but not to her. He didn’t feel any shame or fear in introducing them. Y/N was the most loving human, and Amoreena was just the same.

“When is she free next?” A simple question that made him feel incredibly giddy.

“Tuesday from 3-5,” he snuggled in closer to her as she wraps her arm around him.

“We’ll pick Amoreena up from school after work and take her over,” Y/N agreed, their lives intertwining like they were always meant to.

Like she was the ivy on his old cottage, she took him in and made him her own, wrapping herself all around him and never letting him go again.

He basically finishes her coffee while she holds him on the couch. The sound of the kids outside making them laugh every once in a while, dogs barking and cows mooing, the farm was alive and roaring while they enjoyed each other's company.

“Did you bring your costume for the reading today?”

He sat right up then, looking at her like she lost her mind, “of course I did, I wouldn’t have Penelope spend a week tracking down a Captain Hook costume just to forget it.”

Y/N’s jaw dropped, “you didn’t?!”

He simply nodded with a cheeky grin, “come on Tinker Bell, everyone knows she had a thing for Hook.”

“Who didn’t? He was the first and last bad boy I was interested in, I typically go more for Milo’s and Ariel’s; full of adventure and always learning something new,” Y/N teased him.

“Mhm, I always had a thing for Aladdin and Belle in search of far off lands and happy endings,” he mused, making her smile just as much as he was, “but for real it was between Hook and Wendy for my costume,” he made her laugh again, wanting to hear it for the rest of time.

“You still can, I have a blue nightgown you can borrow,” it was so easy for them to flirt, it fit into their conversation so simply it felt like they had been together forever.

He couldn’t help leaning in to kiss her, resting her back against the couch softly as she held onto him. He loved kissing her, she tasted like coffee and happiness every single time. She made the cutest sounds when they would make out like she was surprised by it or she wasn’t used to it at all.

She made him feel like he was young again like he was 21 and in love for the first time. All his trauma disappeared and that Spencer who used to stare back at him in the mirror was gone now. That guy packed his bags and left the farm to never be seen again.

Good fucking riddance is all he had to say.

He was happy, he enjoyed being happy and he was going to stay happy. It was the only goal he had going forward, and as long as he was in her embrace, surround by the laugher of her child and family, he knew it would be possible.

Amoreena came running inside then, finding the two of them making out on the couch before they could part from each other.

“Ewww!” She cried, jumping on top of the two of them and knocking the wind out of Spencer.

“Get off,” Y/N tried to speak as she was crushed by the two of them. “Mom down!”

Spencer picks Amoreena up then, taking her away from the couch and spinning her around like she’s an airplane. She cheers and cheers and doesn’t want him to put her down because it’s so fun. The next thing he knows he’s being dragged outside to twirl all the kids around like they’re Peter Pan, flying through the air on their way to Neverland.

He’s surrounded by giggles and tickles fights, he’s tackled down against the dirt as a herd of tiny children dog pilled him. Laughing until he cried, feeling more joy than humanly possible and then Y/N’s telling them all to get ready to he’d to the park.

Coming down the stairs in a pirate costume to a bunch of screaming kids was an experience and a half. Spencer couldn’t believe how happy it made them all to imagine Captain Hook had broken into the house and Amoreena, or Peter Pan as she corrected him, chased him outside with all the lost boys.

He took a moment to learn all their names, all 15 of them, however, unlike the cats, they had relatively normal people names.

Kate, Cade, Jet, Lauren, Cassie, Sara, Evan, Benny, Olivia, Jessie, Owen, Maddie, Gwen, August, and Parker, were the cutest little family of cousins. some looked like Amoreena, some looked like their own mothers, a handful of them were adopted out of the country, they were the most perfect cast of lost boys.

He's never had any cousins, no pets, no siblings. His life never felt lonely until he realized what he missed out on.

“Dad,” Amoreena whispered as she tugged on his shirt lightly, “look!”

She pointed towards the house where Y/N was standing. When she said she was going as Tinker Bell he really didn’t think she meant looking exactly like Julia Roberts at the end of Hook.

She looked magical in her beautiful white dress, curly hair with the most perfectly placed flowers and flawless wings wrapped around her shoulders. She was a vision standing on the porch, waiting for him to pick his jaw up off the floor and compliment her.

“Tink,” the words are more like air, soft and barely there.

“Is Captain Hook being nice? Or should we take him to the pond and let the Alligators deal with him?” Y/N teased, marching down the stairs and poking Spencer's chest.

“Ouch,” he teased her, holding his hand over his heart to make her feel bad.

But she didn’t, “some Pirate you are,” she teased, sticking her tongue out at him before taking Amoreena’s hand and running off down the trail towards the main house, everyone following her lead.

Nanny packed enough snacks for all 16 kids, and a little extra just in case. Spencer slipped the lunch box over his shoulder and they made their way towards the adventure. Y/N pulling a wagon just in case the littlest ones didn’t want to walk anymore. It was spectacular.

Y/N stopped then, pretending to stand like an army man turning around abruptly to look at the troop. “Lost boys, are we ready?”

“Yes, Tinker Bell!” They cheered back.

“On my lead, 1, 2, 1, 2, 3, 4,” she marched, bringing her knees up high as they all followed her down the path. “We’re following the leader, the leader, the leader,” she began to sing.

Spencer was in awe, his heart felt like it was going to explode as he watched everyone follow her. Singing along as they marched their tiny little butts down to the park.

“We’re following the leader wherever she may go!” Amoreena yelled the lyrics back, leading the pack as Peter Pan should.

“Tee dum, tee dee, a teedle ee do tee day Tee dum, tee dee, it's part of the game we play Tee dum, tee dee, the words are easy to say Just a teedle ee dum, a teedle ee do tee day

Tee dum, tee dee, a teedle ee do tee dum We're one for all, and all of us out for fun We march in line and follow the other one With a teedle ee do, a teedle ee do tee dum”

It was like magic, they all knew the words and they sang the whole way down the path. Every verse and then repeating it. Not a single kid strayed from the path, no one complained about sore feet or hot backs, they loved their Aunty Y/N and so did Spencer.

“We’re off on an adventure, adventure, adventure,” Y/N changed the words, making him smile as she brought happiness into the world. “We’re off on an adventure to read out in the sun! Tee dum, tee dee, a teedle ee do tee day…”

Every single time he thought she had given him the best day of his life, she manages to outdo herself.

—

They barely listened to the story, it was a disaster of epic proportions but they tried. 15 kids is a lot to handle as an ex FBI agent and a librarian, they had lunch and instead ran around the field playing lost boys instead. It was still an amazing afternoon.

He was going to be covered in bruises the next morning. He had been kicked, poked, trampled, jumped on, the whole 9 yards. They were the most energetic bunch in the whole world, and then they came home to ice cream.

“Y/N,” Spencer finally pulled her aside when all the kids were preoccupied with their cold snack after a hot day.

“Yes, cutie?” It was a nickname that was sticking, much like pretty boy, and he didn’t mind it at all.

“We’re going to need more than 2 songs tonight to get her to go to bed,” he teased, stepping into that step-dad role with ease.

She couldn’t stop smiling at him, wrapping him up in her arms gently so he didn’t crush her fairy wings. “We’ll take her swimming, that’ll tire her out instead. Are you lookin’ for some alone time?”

“I love her dearly, but I can’t kiss you as much when she’s around,” he whispered before pecking her quickly and hearing the group of lost boys pretend to be sick.

“Just because he’s my dad doesn’t mean you have to be gross like your mom and dad, mom,” Amoreena’s smart mouth making them both shake their heads and laugh.

“What would you do if I did this?” Y/N teased before dipping Spencer back like a princess and kissing him, he stuck his foot out in shock as she held him there.

“Ewww!!” All the kids yelled as she returned him to his feet.

“Or this?” Y/N pulled him into another kiss, her leg popping like Princess Mia’s in the princess diaries.

Amoreena and her cousins were all screaming then, laughing at how gross their aunt and her new boyfriend were being. Used to it clearly, their grandparents were just as in love and watching from the porch as they held each other on the swing.

“I love you,” Spencer announced, loud enough for all to hear without a care in the world.

“You better,” she smiled. “I love you too, cutie,” she added before kissing him one last time.

His life felt perfectly complete.

Y/N’s brothers were incredibly kind just like her. He learned that Ashley was the oldest with 5 kids and her wife Susie, then Ben who was 46 and his wife Shannon, they had 3 kids. Dylan and Laurie had 4 and Even, her twin brother had 3.

Turns out her mom had 2 sets of twins back to back, 7 children and only 5 pregnancies. It felt crazy for him to think about having that many people in his life for his whole life, he wouldn’t have known what to do with anyone more than just his mother growing up.

Spencer helped Bob with the barbecue, they made burgers and hotdogs for all 16 of the children while they continued to run through the fields. They had enough energy to last them 5 straight days of chaos. It was amazing.

Y/N and Spencer managed to wander off while all the kids ate, sitting under a tree with their dinner so they could finally have some time alone together.

She was beautiful, sitting in the afternoon amber glow as she tried to keep her hair from blowing in her face. Tucking the strands behind her ears so she could eat her dinner in peace before spencer handed her the hair tie on his wrist. Then she got ketchup on her cheek, seemingly on purpose as she smiled at him and laughing as Spencer wiped it off with his thumb. He was so in love he felt stupid, smiling at her like he’s never seen another person before, absolutely enamoured.

“Derek and his wife wanted to come over tomorrow and have his son meet Amoreena if that’s okay?”

Her face lit up, “his son is the one named after you right? Not your godson?”

He nodded with yet another smile, his lips were going to fall off at this point. “Yeah, he’s the sweetest little guy, Hank’s never been to a farm before.”

“You tell them our gates are always own to new minds and pure hearts,” she smiled. “That’s what nanny used to say.”

He leans in and kisses her then, resting his forehead against hers as she held his cheek in her free hand, smiling ever so softly as she stared into his eyes, they didn’t need words, he knew she loved him too. A week of pure bliss had passed within the blink of an eye, and they still had forever to go.

Taglist: @shemarmooresfedora @spookyspence @spencers-dria @manuosorioh @reidsfish @mochionly (send me an ask if you want to be added to the tag list, I don't always see every reply! i love you guys thank you so much for reading)

[ditttiiiwrecks]

OT7 Fic Rec Master Post:

 last updated (16/05/2021) 

If my master-list is anything to go by I am clearly obsessed with ot7, so here are some of my favs. 

Some of these stories are linked from Ao3. If any of those fics have been cross posted to Tumblr, please let me know. 

Current Fic Count: 25

Give all these amazing authors some love ♡ & To all the authors, Thank you so much for writing. I am so beyond grateful for all the work and time that you put in to writing these stunning pieces of literary art. 

This list is by no means complete, so if you have any recommendations, send em my way! ♡ Happy Reading!

~Love, @ditttiii  ♡

1) Void by @btssavedmylifeblr

Summary: You are the only female crew member on a 12 year space mission with seven handsome men. The sexual tension is real, y’all. 

2) Make You Know Love by @btsismybiass 

Summary: Growing up, Jungkook had always shared everything with his brothers; toys, food, clothing, friends, and even girls. The seven were inseparable — secrets were not allowed. Halfway through senior year, Jungkook was sent to a school halfway across the world, though he wouldn’t tell anyone (that didn’t already know) why. Years later, he has an adjoining apartment with his best friend (who is hopelessly in love with him) and 6 brothers he has yet to tell her about. One night, she comes barging into his home unannounced only to be met with a group of sexy foreign strangers.

3) Armed to the Fangs by @jingabitch

Summary: You grew up in the Hunter’s Guild, understanding that it is your sacred duty as a hunter to protect humanity from the vampires that lurk in the dark, draining the life from anyone unlucky enough to be caught. While making the rounds one night, you encounter Taehyung, a fabled born vampire - not that you know that when he tries to entice you into a dark alley. Next thing you know, you’re kidnapped and taken to their home, where you realise that all of them somehow crave your blood and seem to know more about your past than you do. Finding out about where you came from might be the key to setting humanity free.

4) Sanctuary by @softykooky

Summary: some people are lucky enough to be born into a family that loves them. others meet their family in a coffee shop while on the run from the korean ambassador, while they’re holding a man at gunpoint and beating him to a pulp for treason against their syndicate.

5) Eunoia by @wishesunderthestars

Summary: You are a world famous director and you have dedicated your life to your job.You have everything you could ever dream of; wealth, recognision, talent, your friends and family. But loneliness ins’t cured by success. So what happens when you somehow rescue seven hybrids? Can they fill the void?

6) Tangled Hearts by @writersrealmbts

Summary: You have seven hybrids and life with them can be both good and stressful. Some days are better than others, but in the end, you know that they’re always there for you, in more ways than one.

7)  Diamond Tears and Little Wings by @writersrealmbts 

Summary: You’re a fairy, taken in by BTS. You need lots of love and care, otherwise your light will fade and you turn to stone. Between the seven of them, you should never feel unloved. Right?

8) Rose & Thorns by @minniepetals 

Summary: a lone rose, a little broken, until Jungkook came along and the two of you saved each other. and in doing so, Jungkook showed you a world where he shared with his six other mates.

9) The Butter Series by @minniepetals

Summary: their names alone had every men and women turning their heads and falling at their feet. successful, prestigious, handsome, rich and untouchable to anyone that looked their way. and you? you were just an employee who worked for them. who would have known you meant so much more to them than you could ever imagine?

10) Stray Cat Strut by Bang to the Tan (TyphloticHaruspex)

Summary: When your grandmother passes away, she leaves her countryside house in your name. The longer you stay, the harder and harder it becomes to explain away the odd happenings. What kind of secrets does this sleepy town hold? And why do the local animals act so strangely around you?…

11) BACK HOME by @alexlwrites

Summary: : The one where, after living abroad for years, you move back to Korea and your old high school friend Namjoon offers you his place to stay while you get settled, casually forgetting to mention that: a) he still had a massive crush on you. b) he lived with six other guys.

12)  A Hundred Percent Human by Wrienne

Summary: In which you are forced to take care of seven hybrids in a twist of fate. After your estranged mother passes away, you're left with an unwanted will and the heavy burden of responsibility. Although you're desperate not to stray from the familiar path you thought was laid out in front of you with a fully human boyfriend who loves you more than anything, your life is thrown upside down once more after another unfortunate incident (that may or may not have to do with said boyfriend) occurs. Drunk and down on life, you finally decide to deal with the house and the unsavory business your mother left behind. However, to your shock, you find that seven very different hybrids are included with both the house - and the business. Seven hybrids you never even met before - even less agreed to take care of. Set in the not too distant future where infertility has become mankind's greatest issue. Will contain sexual content.

13)  I’ll Still Stay by @sugamoonv

Summary: Y/N, living in a society where hybrids are seen as commonly as pets and working a well-paying job, finally decides to adopt a hybrid for herself. But what happens when instead of one new companion, she leaves with seven? And what happens when nature decides that these companions are meant to be more than that?

14)  The Gateway to Your Heart by @justimajin

Summary:  ❝You gave me the best of me, so you give you the best of you.❞

15)  Like I Do by interlude__dream

Summary:  It's summer in Seoul. You didn't expect much to happen during your nights working at a coffee shop, but somehow, giving one kid a sandwich wrapped up your fate with seven hungry boys more tightly than you could have ever imagined.

16)  w e a r e a l l m a d h e r e by cath_mg

Summary: In which you're a model student who just managed to catch not just one, not two, but all seven 'transfer students' who just happened to visit your university.At the end of the road, will you stay or will you run? Or...

17)  Follow Me Down by ARMY_BRAT

Summary:  It was supposed to be a simple vacation to a foreign land. You certainly didn’t expect to wake up drugged and caged like an animal in the basement of seven beautiful men.

18)  Sharing is Caring by always_bias_wrecked

Summary:  You decide to let the rest of Bangtan watch you and your boyfriend Jimin have sex one time. Now suddenly everyone seems to want a piece of you, and Jimin doesn't seem to mind sharing.

19)  Ruin Me, I Dare You. by porcelainbones

Summary: Where a regular wannabe author discovers the members of the biggest band in the world are her soulmates. All Seven. (not a reader insert)

20) Abundance by @angelicyoongie

Summary: You never expected that you would end up adopting a hybrid, and if someone had told you that you would end up with seven? Well, you would have thought they were crazy. But here you are, with three different packs of hybrids that don’t get along – but all want to stay with you. Yeah, it turns out crazy is an understatement.

21) You Never Walk Alone by @agustdakasuga

Summary: You live a quiet life in your late grandfather’s cabin in the woods. You go to school just to graduate and get your diploma, not to make friends or stand out from the crowd. That was until one day, you enter your home to see a pack of wolves that need shelter.

22)  Accidental Friends by erakun

Summary:  Meet Bangtan, international superstars, the pride of South Korea, the love and hope in the dark of many lives, the role model and celebrity crush of so many people, and a group of people you often stumble across in your day to day life. You become acquaintances, slowly become friends, and- that's it. You are in a platonic friendship with Bangtan. Let me say it again. *clears throat* PLATONIC.

23)  Lifeline by @forgottenpasta

Summary: What happens when a witch curses seven vampires to share one fated mate between them?

24) Restitution  by @cloudteawrites 

Summary: When an estranged uncle leaves you his massive fortune you wonder if the universe is playing a joke on you. when that fortune comes with seven hybrids, you know for sure that it is.

25) The Lore of the Forest by spield

Summary: Nothing ancient and magical is ever really lost. When the descendants and heirs of the myths and legends come together to live a normal life, something - someone - is thrown into their plans. Bringing with them aid, magic and so much more.

[blueskrugs]

Mary’s Song | Tyson Jost

happy friday! we’ve got josty this week! even better, this one’s longer and has minimal angst. I hope y’all like it, thanks again to @broadstbroskis​ for being my beta, and I’ll see you next week with the first song from Fearless!

length: 2.7k words

I looked at you like the stars that shined in the sky, the pretty lights And our daddies used to joke about the the two of us, growing up and falling in love

You’d known Tyson Jost for as long as you could remember . You had been neighbors when you were little, had gone to the same preschool and everything. Your moms said you’d been inseparable from the start. 

Well, really, Tyson had offered you some of his snack, and you’d declared that you were best friends. It had kinda just stuck.

You heard your moms laughing sometimes, and they would say that you looked at Tyson like he’d hung the stars in the sky, though you didn’t understand what it meant at the time. You just knew that Tyson was your favorite person, and that you wanted to be friends with him forever.

Take me back when our world was one block wide I dared you to kiss me, and ran when you tried

Tyson got into hockey when you were still little. He was head over heels from the start, though from the one time you had tagged along with Laura and a toddling Kacey to practice, it seemed like there was more falling than playing hockey.

“I bet I could teach you how to ice skate,” Tyson said one day after school. 

You laughed, because he knew that you were scared of falling, but Tyson was looking at you earnestly, all messy hair and bright brown eyes. You were seven, and Tyson was starting to show some talent on the ice, you knew he loved it, but you would like to keep your feet on solid ground, thank you very much.

“Aw, come on,” Tyson begged. 

“No way, Tys,” you said, but Tyson kept pushing, literally, shoving up into your space and leaning on you.

“It’ll be fun!” he tried. You just shook your head at him. “Alright, fine. Tyson’s eyes turned mischievous, and you knew then that this wasn’t going to end well for you. “What about a bet? If I win, I get to teach you how to ice skate.”

He had you there. You were nothing if not competitive, and Tyson knew that better than anyone. And when Tyson with you and competition, you would stop at nothing to win. 

“Ugh, fine,” you said, crossing your arms. “But a bet’s cheating, and you know it.” 

Tyson just grinned at you. You thought for a minute. Tyson was bigger than you, just a little, but still enough that he wasn’t above tackling you into a snowbank to get the upper hand. You knew because he had done it just last week. 

You had an idea.

“Bet you can’t catch me,” you said, and Tyson opened his mouth to complain. But you pressed a kiss to his cheek before scrambling off the steps you were sitting on, and Tyson was left staring after you, mouth still open.

You’d overheard the other boys in your class talking about cooties and teasing Tyson about being best friends with you just the other day. He’d been blushy and weird about it for a couple days before deciding that he could, in fact, be best friends with a girl, cooties or not.

You laughed, loud in the quiet of your neighborhood, as you heard Tyson shout, “Hey!” and collect himself enough to race after you. 

He did end up catching you, because you were too busy laughing to keep running. You’d never admit it to Tyson, either, but letting him teach you how to skate was fun.

Well, I was 16 when suddenly I wasn’t that little girl you used to see They never believed we’d really fall in love

In another few years, hockey went from something for Tyson to everything, and he was heading off to B.C. You didn’t let Tyson see you cry when he left you behind, but it was hard, only 12 years old and watching your best friend get on a plane for 800 miles away. You didn’t want him to forget about you.

Tyson always came home, though, and when he was too far away, he would always call, always answer the phone for you. Before you knew it, you weren’t kids anymore, and Tyson was getting drafted. You were there with his mom and Kacey when Colorado called his name. You were so happy for him, but as you watched him pull that jersey over his head, you couldn’t help but feel like you were losing your best friend again. You weren’t sure you’d get him back this time.

Except in the middle of the madness that was the draft party back home later that week, Tyson grabbed you by the arm and dragged you outside. He was still wearing an Avs hat, but it was crooked, and his cheeks were flushed.

“I’m proud of you,” you told him. You felt like you’d been saying that a lot lately, but you still meant it every time. Tyson just shrugged at you, ducking his head. 

“I wanna talk to you about something,” he said. Up close like this, Tyson seemed nervous.

“Tys. What’s wrong?”

“I’m gonna miss you,” he admitted, but there was still something he wasn’t saying. He’d left you before, that wasn’t anything new.

“I’m gonna miss you, too, Tys, but-”

“I think I’m in love with you,” Tyson blurted, cutting you off.

You froze. Tyson looked unsure, curls askew under that stupid hat, and, yeah, he was just your best friend, but you’d probably been a little bit in love with him for years, too.

You didn’t quite know how to say that, so you stood up on your toes and pressed a kiss to Tyson’s lips. When you pulled back, hands still on Tyson’s shoulders, he was grinning down at you.

“So.” Tyson’s hands found your hips. “Guess you love me, too?”

“I take it back.” Tyson was going to be annoying about this, you could already.

“Nope,” Tyson said. He kissed you again, because he could. “Too late.”

Not much changed after that. You and Tyson still spent all of your time together, except there was a lot more kissing. Tyson had always been a tactile person, always looking for an excuse to be close to you, to be touching you in some way, and now he didn’t need an excuse. You couldn’t turn around without Tyson being there, a kiss pressed to your cheek, your temple, your lips. 

You rolled your eyes at him every time, but you didn’t really mind. 

You saw your moms smiling knowingly at you two sometimes, when they saw you curled up on the couch watching a movie, and you remembered the way they used to say you looked at Tyson like he’d hung the stars. You knew what that meant now, and they might’ve been on to something all those years ago. 

You asked Tyson about it one night late that first summer together, underneath those very stars, on your backs in the grass. 

“How’d you know?” Tyson turned his head to look at you. “That you were in love with me?” You were still young, but with Tyson it just seemed right.

Tyson laughed, rolling to his side and propping himself up on one elbow.

“I think I’ve always been in love with you,” he admitted. He was blushing a little. 

You leaned up to kiss him, and when you pulled back, he was blushing harder. “Me too.” 

You weren’t able to be there the night Tyson made his debut, but he called you after the game, all bright eyes and flushed cheeks and messy curls that you loved so much. 

“I love you,” he said quietly, like he still didn’t quite believe any of this was happening.

You wished you could be there to hug him, tell him again how proud you were of him. 

Take me back to the time we had our very first fight, the slamming of doors instead of kissing goodnight You stayed outside ‘til the morning light

The distance never did get easier, especially on the days Tyson struggled with his hockey, and you wondered if there would ever come a day where Tyson would have to decide which he loved more: you or hockey.

But there were always summers together, and long weekends and spring break. You made it work. Or, you thought you did. 

“Have you ever thought about transferring schools?” Tyson asked one day out of the blue. He’d only been home a couple of weeks after the Avs had been knocked out by San Jose.  You were sitting on the front porch swing after dinner, Tyson’s arm around your shoulders, but you tensed and pulled away from him.

“Why would I switch schools?” You had stayed close to home, and you were on pace to graduate early. Most importantly, you were happy.

Tyson shrugged, but his nonchalance seemed fake. “You could come down to Denver,” he said. He was looking over your shoulder at the sunset.

You raised your eyebrows at him. You hadn’t followed Tyson to UND, and you weren’t about to uproot your life to follow him to Denver. He’d been okay with that. You’d thought he’d been, at least.

“I’m not switching schools, Tys,” you said. You couldn’t decide if you were really angry or just hurt. This wasn’t Tyson asking you to move to Denver with him; it was him asking you to give up the life you were building and planning to be his girlfriend.

You stopped yourself from reminding Tyson that he couldn’t even stay in the lineup again this season, because he knew that already.

“Why not?” Tyson looked like he really didn’t get it. “You do want to come to Denver, one day, right?”

And, yeah, of course you did. There wasn’t a future in your head that didn’t have Tyson by your side. But you were supposed to graduate first, be able to start a life of your own out in Colorado, not just follow Tyson there.

“What if I don’t?” came out of your mouth instead. Tyson's face fell. He’d hurt you, and now you’d hurt him, too. “Tyson, my friends and family are all here, how am I just supposed to leave everyone behind?” You would, one day. You just weren’t ready yet.

“I did it.” Tyson’s voice was small. 

He had, and you’d been one of the ones he’d left behind, over and over.

“And what if you change your mind about me, about us?” 

Tyson recoiled as if you had slapped him. You supposed you had, in a way.

“I won’t,” Tyson said lowly. He looked like he wanted to grab your hand. “I would never.”

You believed him, but you couldn’t do this anymore tonight.

“Good night, Tyson,” you said, standing up and heading inside. You didn’t look over your shoulder to see Tyson’s face as the screen door shut behind you. 

You woke up the next morning to find Tyson passed out on your living room couch. He was still wearing yesterday’s clothes. 

“Sweetheart,” your mom said carefully as you walked into the kitchen. “Why did I find Tyson asleep on the porch swing when I went out for the paper this morning?”

You giggled a little in spite of yourself. Like a lot of things, last night’s fight felt a little stupid in the daylight. That also explained how Tyson was currently drooling on one of your mom’s throw pillows.

“We got in a little bit of a fight last night,” you told her. “I should probably wake him, eh?” He didn’t look very comfortable, but you didn’t imagine he’d slept very well outside, either.

Your mom just smiled into her coffee.

You watched Tyson sleep for a moment before poking him to wake up. He pressed his face deeper into the pillow for a second before blinking disgruntledly up at you.

“Hey.”

“You’re an idiot,” you told him, but it just came out fond. Tyson grinned up at you. He had pillow creases on his face.

You ended up going out for breakfast, after taking Tyson home to change into not-stale clothes. You both apologized over waffles, but you didn’t talk about it. It was fine, you were fine. The future was scary. 

Tyson didn’t bring it up again that summer. Not until you were on FaceTime one late night after the season started, when you were both tired and defenses were down. It was easier to talk about the future that way, for some reason, making plans while you were both half asleep. You dreamed of mountains that night.

Denver could wait, and Tyson would always be there waiting for you, too. 

A few years had gone and come around, we were sitting at our favorite spot in town And you looked at me, got down on one knee

Years passed. You graduated college. Moved to Denver, moved in with Tyson. You loved Denver, and you loved Tyson. And on late nights when you couldn’t sleep, you could just reach across the bed instead of reaching for the phone.

It happened back home in Alberta, though, because Tyson was sentimental like that, and home was where it all began.

You were next to Tyson on porch swing after dinner, just like you had so many times before, except tonight Tyson seemed nervous. He was clutching your hand tightly, and he was rambling, some story about JT you were pretty sure you’d heard before. When he paused to take a breath, you nudged him with your clasped hands. 

“What’s up, babe?” you asked. Tyson’s ears turned red the way they always did when you called him “babe.”

Tyson squeezed your hand, then brought it up to his mouth to press a quick kiss to the back of it. 

“Do you remember all the days we used to spend out here when we were kids?”

You did. You’d do your homework out on the porch swing on nice days, and when there wasn’t homework, you’d find some other reason to be outside. It had always been both of yours favorite spot. 

“I always hoped we’d end up back here like this one day, y’know?” 

You did know, but Tyson was letting go of your hand and sliding off the swing, down on one knee next to you, before you could respond.

“Tyson,” you breathed out instead.

There was a ring in Tyson’s hands, and he kept turning it over nervously as he continued talking. You had a half thought to hope he didn’t drop it.

“In my head, I was gonna have this great speech, and it was gonna be all romantic and shit, but now I can’t think of any words to say.”

You giggled and reached out to run your fingers through Tyson’s hair before cupping his cheek. He leaned into the touch. The sun was setting behind him, bright pinks and yellows across the sky, and it was just like every other time you’d sat right here together. 

“I love you,” you said, because it seemed important. 

“You’ve been in my life for as long as I can remember, and I can’t think of anyone else I want to spend the rest of my life with. Because that’s all I want, to be with you forever.” Tyson paused, took a deep breath. “Y/N, will you marry me?” he asked, looking up at you with big brown eyes.

“Yes, Tyson, of course,” you said, laughing. You might’ve been crying, too;  it was a little hard to tell. 

After all this time, you and I…

Alberta was home, but so was Denver. Tyson had been by your side for as long as you could remember, and he’d be there for as long as you could imagine.

You’d been lucky to fall in love with your best friend, but you’d probably always been a little bit in love with him, so maybe luck had nothing to do with it.

When you bought a new home together, Tyson insisted that you had to have a porch swing. Not that you would have objected.

“D’you think our kids will be like us one day?” he asked you once. There was a ring to match yours on his finger, now.

“What?” All those years, and sometimes you still didn’t understand half of what came out of Tyson’s mouth. 

“Like, cute, fall in love with the kid next door stuff,” Tyson said. 

You just laughed. 

[matsbarzal]

Time’s a Ticking || Matthew Tkachuk

Notes: anyways I decided to do matty and I found this long list of soulmate AU prompts so I know what I’m doing tonight yikes. so here’s a lil bit of a nervous/anxious matty even tho he refuses to admit it. hope you enjoy!!! let me know how you like it <3 

Summary: everyone is born with a dwindling time on their wrist. the moment the time reaches zero is when a person meets their other half, the person who makes them whole; their soulmate. 

Word Count: 3k+

10,584. 7 days, 8 hours and 24 minutes. 7 days until he’d meet his other half, the person that’s meant to complete his soul, be his better half, or whatever a soulmate is meant to be. Matthew wasn’t crazy about the idea of soulmates, sure, he was surrounded by people who were madly in love and happy and complete; but he was also surrounded by those people... the one’s whose time stopped, girls and guys who had a permanent marking of time on their wrist that would never move again.

He wouldn’t say he was a pessimistic person, but he had seen so many friends and family fall into a spiral after their soulmate clock stopped ticking, watched as their other half broke them without even meeting them. He wanted to be excited and optimistic but Matthew couldn’t bring himself to feel the same delight that his friends did on his behalf. Anything could happen in this 7 days, 8 hours... and 22 minutes now.

6160 minutes

You could feel the bump of the plane as it touched the ground. This was the one part of flying you hated the most, the anxiety and the bumping as the plane made its way down the runway towards its destination. You knew anything bad was unlikely to happen, but your nerves were on edge. All you could think about was the time on your wrist, the time that kept on ticking. It hadn’t stopped in your entire 21 years of life, and from the looks of it, you were approximately four days away from that happening.

Sighing, you listened to the claps from around you as everyone congratulated the pilots for landing the plane safely. Around you, people stood up and began collecting their belongings, grabbing their bags from the overhead compartments as the chatter continued in the cabin.

You politely smiled at the man beside you as he passed you down your bag, a quick “Thank you” leaving your lips as he gestured for you to walk in front of him towards the exit. 

Originally, you hadn’t had any intention of leaving Alberta for the holiday break, but your parents had practically begged you to come home for the holiday’s, citing the fact you had remained in Lake Louise for the last year and that they had only seen you once since you made the choice to unravel everything you knew by packing a few bags and moving halfway across the country to Alberta to work at some fancy ski resort in the mountains. 

It was originally only meant to be a few months worth of work, waitressing in Lake Louise at a 5-star resort that is, and then time kept going by, and the more and more you fell in love with not only the scenery, but the people. Everyone was happy there, tourists were always excited and polite, everyone just wanted the chance to see the Lake, skate on the Lake, whatever it was. No one was ever unhappy here, and you loved that. 

You were pulled out of your thoughts as the line in front of you continued to move quickly, people eager to get out of the cabin and get back into the fresh air that flowed outside. You could barely contain your giddiness as you stepped off the plane. You could barely believe how much you missed the province, missed your friends, coworkers, you even missed the tourists. Who would’ve thought?

After about 20 minutes of watching the carousal spin and spin and spin, you finally eyed your bright red, Flames red, as a lot of people reminded you, suitcase. Grabbing it, you hauled the bag off of the carousal and onto the ground. You were eager to get to your car, which you had already paid a good 500 dollars worth of parking for, and eager to get the move on the three hour drive across Highway 1 to Lake Louise. 

After four and a half hours of travelling, you knew this three hour drive was going to exhaust you. And with the temperature out in Alberta right now? All you wanted was your bed and a cup of piping warm hot chocolate to end the day.

4590 minutes

“Man, your face is already awful to look at. You really trying to ruin it even more right before you meet your soulmate?”

Before Noah could even think, a wad of tape hit the side of his head while exclamations went up around the room about the choice of target. “Whoops, guess my tape slipped... out of my hand.”

Matthew shrugged his shoulders, an innocent grin on his face as he stood up to grab the tape from beside Noah Hanifin’s locker. 

“No, but seriously, why are you getting into fights with three days left on your wrist? Don’t go and get yourself killed or something, they’d be devastated if they’ve waited this long for your dumb-ass just to have 4000 minutes tattooed on her wrist for the rest of her life.”

Shrugging his shoulders, Matthew ignored his teammates comments, choosing instead to run his finger across the always-changing number on his wrist. 

“It’s not like it matters anyways.” His words were barely above a mumble, but it was enough to spark the attention of his captain, who was quick to tell him to meet him in the trainer’s office after he was done showering and getting the blood that was currently dripping down his face, cleaned.

Obliging on his captain’s orders, he found Gio in the office, a tight smile the only warning that he was about to get ripped apart by the veteran. Gio was one of the lucky ones, he had barely been 16 when his clock finally hit the big 0. It made him an advocate for all the soulmate bullshit, constantly encouraging his teammates to wait it out, be patient, their time would come. 

“Chucky, buddy, we gotta have a chat.”

Quirking his eyebrows at the older man, Matthew nodded, “Well Gio, I kinda figured that one out buddy, unless you pulled me in here to look at my oh so pretty face.” 

“I’m serious. You need to stop with this constant bashing of soulmates and times and shit. I know you don’t like it and you hate the concept of soulmates and whatever, but you’re doing nothing but worrying the younger guys. These kids are constantly terrified their minutes are just going to stop and be etched into their skin.”

Subconsciously running his fingers across the number on his wrist again, 4530 minutes. Wonder what that is in exact time. Shrugging his shoulders, he was quick to apologize to his captain. “Sorry, G. Not trying to scare the kids, just getting a little... I don’t know? Worried? It’s getting too close, I don’t want to get like...  it’s not important, never mind. I’ll stop talking about times in the locker room. Sorry.”

Quickly tightening the tie that was now wrapped around his neck, Matthew raced out of the office before Gio could say something else to him. He eagerly grabbed his phone, wallet, keys and suit jacket before quickly making his way towards the parking garage, the only thing on his mind was of course, you.

2120 minutes

One whole day and just a few hours. You could barely breath as you ran your thumb over the little black number on your wrist. You knew it was inevitable that you’d be meeting your soulmate while working, the moment you looked at the work schedule when you arrived back from home, you knew you’d be stuck working during the time in which you were meant to meet you soulmate. You were giddy, sure. But what if they didn’t like you? What if whoever it was, was snooty, and rude, and didn’t like you for who you were?

“Y/N, you gotta stop thinking about it, babe. You’re gonna get your head stuck in a whirlwind of thoughts. Think about other things! Like... the Calgary Flames.”

Eyeing the blonde beside you, “Tell me Cassidy, why in the world, would I think about the Calgary Flames, instead of thinking about my soulmate?”

Your coworker shrugged her shoulders and gestured to the board behind your head. You had all been notified a day prior that the Calgary Flames had reserved a whole floor of the Chateau for the weekend. With your restaurant being directly in view of the Lake and the Mountains, you were expected to be the main dining spot for the team over their course of the weekend.

“Believe me, Cass, the last thing I want to think about is a bunch of hockey boys who are going to make me miserable the weekend where I’m supposed to be... not miserable.”

She winked at you, a teasing glint in her eyes, “Maybe one of those awful hockey boys has the same number on your wrist. Maybe Noah Hanifin’s your soulmate. God, I’d be so jealous, could you imagine being destined for that beautiful exhibit of a man? God, I’d climb him like a tree.”

Laughing, you wacked her with the towel in your hand as she continued to egg you on, gloating about how beautiful of a specimen Noah Hanifin was, and how she’d do just anything to crawl into bed with that man. Cassidy was always like this, bubbly, happy, positive. Her number had stopped moving 12 years ago, or so she says. She hadn’t been paying attention the day it stopped, the number etching itself into her skin permanently, to never move again. She was never negative about it, always saying that she hoped just the thought of her brought peace to her soulmate in their last moments. 

“Okay okay, enough about the Flames. I doubt it’s even going to end up being any of them, hockey boys and I do not get along. Especially the one’s that are just constantly bothering people, and that’s the entire Flames roster, so... let’s get back to work.”

440 minutes

One thing Matthew was sure of was the fact that he loved everything about the drive to Lake Louise. He wasn’t notorious for being a huge fan of the scenery around him, but something about the drive across Highway 1, the trees, the snow covered mountains, they all just faded together and created this picture in his head. It was hard to describe, there wasn’t anything specific to the picture, it was just joyful, it was happy, it was calm. Jesus, maybe he was just fucking crazy. 

A lot of people always said you feel more calm in the hours leading up to the first time you meet your soulmate. But he sure as hell didn’t feel calm. He was on edge, the scenery around him, albeit, it was beautiful, it was not calming him down. His leg was shaking, his foot tapping the ground beneath him on the bus. He could see Johnny giving him a look every time his shaking leg touched his teammates. He knew the entire team was frustrated with him. Two games straight, two 10 minute fighting majors. 

He was being a pest, constantly egging people on, trying to ignite arguments or fights or just some form of stimuli to get his mind off of the only thing it could stray to. You. He didn’t want to think about whoever the hell you were, he didn’t want to get his hopes up that maybe his clock would actually hit 0, maybe he’d actually meet his better half. Or maybe he'd fall through a crack in Lake Louise and never have to worry about it again... hopefully. 

“If you touch my leg... one more fucking time, I am going to sock you in the fucking face Chucky.”

Immediately pressing his heel into the ground, Matthew mumbled out a quick ‘sorry’ to the teammate beside him as he watched the trees continue to go by outside the bus window. The time was still changing on his wrist, every minute counting down as the minutes passed outside. There was barely any cell service on the drive up, so the only thing that could truly distract him at this rate, was you, and he hated that.

“Soooo... you excited Chucky? It’s gotta be the big day, no?”

If choking a teammate was legal, Matthew would already be wringing Noah Hanifin’s neck. 

“Yeah, delighted.”

“C’mon grumpy pants, you’re literally like what? 6 hours away from meeting the person who’s supposed to complete your soul... and you’re in a foul mood. Did Doughty crawl up your ass and die last night or?”

Grinding his teeth, Matthew tried to bite his tongue, refusing to lash out at his teammate, even though he so desperately wanted to. He wasn’t going to be the cause for a toxic locker room, especially over something as stupid as soulmates. 

It was obvious that something was going on, everyone on the team knew the time on his wrist equalled out to less than a day. Everyone could see how on edge he was slowly getting as the time dwindled down, but no one could figure out why he was getting more and more frustrated, why the excitement wasn’t shining through as the time continued.

“Why the hell aren’t you excited man? This person’s supposed to be the love of your life, and you seem like you couldn’t give two fucks if you meet them or not?”

It was too late, Matthew was exploding before he could even comprehend what he was saying. “It doesn’t fucking matter man, okay? I don’t give a shit about this soulmate bullshit. Everyone’s soulmate is gone one day anyways, what the hell does it matter if you meet them now? I’m gonna be aching at some point because they’re gone and I’m alone. Woohoo, I get to meet them today, woo-fucking-hoo. I could literally not care less, so stop bugging me.”

27 minutes.

It was all around, highly likely, that your soulmate had some form of connection with the Calgary Flames. Their reservation was scheduled for 23 minutes from now... and your wrist had that small number 27 etched on it as it continued to count down. 

“Wow... maybe your soulmate really is Noah Hanifin... I’m sorry for saying I’d climb him like a tree.”

A loud laugh left your throat as you watched a guilty smile form on your co-workers face. “Cass, I highly doubt it’s Noah Hanifin. It’s probably just a coincidence that their reservation time coincides with my meeting my soulmate time.” Cassidy gave you a knowing look as she walked away, a small smile on her face.

You were anxious, you couldn’t deny it. Every second that counted down, you were nervous, what if you weren’t good enough for them? What if they were embarrassed it was you? What if... oh god... what if they hated soulmates? What if they were one of those people who was willing to cut the tie, ignore the call, ignore the connection?

You refused to think about that, instead putting yourself to work, clearing the tables and plates of the previous occupants, you waved off the clearing crew, instead choosing to do it yourself. Anything to get your mind off of it. 

The Flames weren't the only occupants of the Chateau tonight, only taking up about half, you were able to still seat other tourists who were interested in the view tonight. 

That’s how you found yourself, 25 minutes later, your hand on your hip as you interacted with the group of rowdy guys in front of you. They were from Edmonton, and they were absolutely hammered. They were as nice as you could expect them to be, continuously flirting your ears off, as they tried to impress you with their... what was it? Accounting job? You couldn’t remember for the life of you, your mind solely stuck on the small number 1 now etched on your wrist. 

You were roused out of your thoughts at the feeling of a hand touching your waist. “C’mon sweetheart, you’re not even paying attention to us here. Take a shot with us, baby!”

You politely removed the offending wrist, a tight smile now etched on your face. “First, I would ask that you please don’t touch me. Second, I was most definitely listening. You boys want another round of beers, and 6 tequila shots. Unfortunately, I don’t believe the shots are the best idea, nor do I think the beer is, but I’ll definitely get you a glass of water.”

Spinning on your heel, you went to walk away but were stopped by the feeling of a hand tightly gripping your wrist, a small squeak falling from your lips.

“We don’t want water.”

“Please get your hand off of me.”

“Get us what I asked for then, bitch.” 

You were about to retort, a vicious snarl on your lips, but your words were caught in your throat as you watched a fist connect to the cheek of the man in front of you, a gasp leaving your throat.

2 minutes

This had to be a joke. He was apparently two minutes away from meeting his soulmate, and here he was, in an orderly fashioned line as him and his teammates made their way into the restaurant. He could barely breath, his pants felt too tight on his hips, he could feel the sweat seeping through his shirt. Thank god he made the choice to wear black. 

It felt like everyone’s eyes were on his, everyone was wearily watching the number on his wrist go down, as the obvious anxieties began to cloud his every thought, action, move... everything.

He tried to take his mind off of it, observing the restaurant as the team slowly made their way to their designated tables. There were a few other patrons, most of them caught up in their own world. One specific table caught his eye, they were a group of rowdy guys, maybe a few years older than him. 

Quite frankly, they looked like all around assholes. Looked like the guys you’d see from Wolf of Wall Street, and from the looks of it, they were really starting to irritate their waitress. Although, all he could see was your back, your posture was unbelievably straight, your hand on your hip as you inventively listened to the guys in front of you.

Matthew continued to watch you, something inside of him telling him that he just couldn’t look away. He had to keep looking. He watched as you turned your body, ready to walk to wherever your destination in mind was, but he instantly zeroed in on the hand that was now tightly wrapped around your wrist, a violent look on the man’s face.

He wasn’t moving on his own accord now, his feet were basically moving by themselves as they raced towards you.

“Get us what I asked for then, bitch.”

His fist was connecting with the other man’s face before he could even think. He heard the gasp from beside him, he watched the number on his wrist hit 0 the exact moment he looked at you, a look of shock on everyone’s faces.

“Chucky!”

“What the fuck are you doing?”

“I’m going to call the police you fucking curly-headed fuck.”

He could barely focus on the voices around him. You were here. You were literally right in front of him. Both of your numbers were at 0, he could see it on your wrist. He was literally staring in the eyes of his soulmate.

“Oh my god, you punched one of our guests.” Your voice was like bells to his ear, soft, delicate, everything he wasn’t... but god, you were perfect.

“I’m Matthew, and yes... I uh... I think I did punch one of your guests. I also think you’re my soulmate. Does it count as self-defence... if I punched him in my soulmate’s defence?” 

You laughed, trying to cover it up with your mouth as you watched your manager’s rush towards the now bleeding asshole at the table behind you. 

“I think I like you already, Matthew.”

[i-growl-growl-growl]

mobile masterlist attempt post

Not all reactions/talks/scenarios/imagines and other requests have been added to this post. As the blog is updated, so shall this post.

                                            Reactions Masterlist

                        Stray Kids Reactions

A girl group has a similar name and the same concepts and songs as them

                      Topp Dogg Reactions

being trapped in an elevator with their crush (B-Joo, A-Tom, Xero)

their partner asks them to go on an art heist with them  (Sangdo, Xero, B-Joo, Hansol)

Their partner brakes their leg on a date before they go on tour  (Xero, Sangdo, P-Goon, Nakta and B-Joo)

                          Astro Reactions

they find out you have a special talent they never knew about

you being insecure about your chubby cheeks

you want to go ballroom dancing with them

                    seventeen reactions

Their s/o proposing to THEM (S.Coups-Woozi) maknae line to be uploaded

Their s/o can’t get up the morning after

Their s/o has a catlike personality

Their s/o is a little

                          Ikon Reactions

Falling in love with the new anti-social female member (B.I, Bobby, Jinhwan, Donghyuk)

What kind of Yanderes iKon would be

Someone tries to take advantage of their s/o (Jinhwan, Donghyuk, Bobby, B.I)

                         ATEEZ reactions

their darling asks them to impregnate them (yeosang)(hongjoong)(seonghwa)(mingi)(jongho)(yunho)(san)(wooyoung) Yandere

types of yanderes (Yeosang)(Seonghwa)(Hongjoong)(Yunho)(San)(Mingi)(Wooyoung)(Jongho)     scenario+description

                             Bts reactions

Their hybrid doesn’t want to wear their leash outside Hybrid

Recieving a handmade gift from their s/o

                        Monsta X Reactions

their s/o makes them a handmade gift

Hi…I’m new around here, can anyone show me around? Kina

what type of Yandere Monsta X would be *not a reaction*

                             Got7 reactions

seeing/being shown their child’s self-harm scars/seeing scars

their partner has an asthma attack

catching you dancing to stellar’s vibrato

their partner cant chose a dress for their date

their Idol partner does the gwiyomi song on a variety show

their partner said “yes” to a little boys proposal

a 5 year old asks their partner to marry them

a girl group debuts with the same songs as them

you surprise them while they’re practicing/working

seeing someone they like walking towards them but the person faints

being stuck in an elevator with a foreigner (feat. exo)

their partner brings home a dog and gives it their bed but they don’t tell them

their partner is afraid to travel by plane

being in the middle of an earthquake

waking up in an alleyway and not remembering anything

finding a poisonous snake in their bed

being told they were the heir to the throne of an alien planet

confessing to the person they like but being rejected

recognizing you at a fan meet because you’ve been to so many of them

how they’d want to be comforted

seeing your self-harm scars

you hug another boy but they don’t know it’s your brother

finding out you can play an instrument

secretly watching you sing “Dear Future Husband”

seeing someone with scars and finding out they’re from clumsiness

                      Nct Reactions

(YANDERE) finding out their s/o cheated on them as a revenge (Taeyong & Yuta) 42

(VAMPIRE) smelling blood that leads them to their soulmate (Jaehyun)(Kun)(RenJun)

(YANDERE) you have been in a relationship before (NCT Dream)

(YANDERE) They found out your taking a birth control pill (Taeyong, Jaehyun, Lucas, Jeno)

(HYBRID) they are wild but get caught and stay in a adoption center until they are adopted

(YANDERE) you’re horny and ask them to impregnate you (Taeil-Jeno)

(TSUNDERE) You tell him that he’s your ideal type (Jaemin only) 33

(YANDERE) you want to meet your family in a different country (Taeil-Ten)

(YANDERE) their s/o caves in to them (dreamies)

(suicide) the boys see that their lover commited suicide (Taeil-WinWin)

finding out that their s/o is infertile (Taeil-YangYang)

(YANDERE) waking up to their darling looking at them and caressing their cheek (OT21)

(YANDERE) their s/o with curly hair isn’t keen on her curly hair and wants to straighten it OT21

(YANDERE) their s/o falls for his fellow member who is also yandere OT21

(YANDERE) When their s/o need a lot of personal space (edition 1)(edition 2)

When his partner helps him during pregnancy (Yuta) (Ten)

(YANDERE) you finally falling in love with them after they had kidnapped you OT21

(YANDERE) (remaining members)(Taeil, Yuta-RenJun) seeing their s/o for the first time (WayV Version)

types of Yandere  OT21 (not a reaction)

what yandere nct would want for their birthdays OT21 🌼

how yandere!nct would prefer to be called? OT21 (not a reaction)

What they’d like to call their darling OT21 (not a reaction)

(YANDERE—- Yuta only) s/o selfharms because he hurts their friends

(YANDERE/slightly NSFW- legal line) their s/o wants to dominate

(YANDERE) s/o fakes their death to escape OT21

(YANDERE) Their s/o tries to escape from them 0T21

(Renjun) (Jisung) (Jeno)Finding Santa delivering their presents (Chenle) (Jaemin)

Exo/NCT announcing to their partner that they’re pregnant (Luhan, Baekhyun, Yuta, Ten)

Their band mistaking his twin for them and taking him on stage instead (Taeyong, Jaehyun, Johnny, Mark)

Arguing with their partner over their parents finding about about their relationship (Taeil, Yuta, Taeyong, mark, WinWin)

Meeting their lost lost identical twins (Taeyong, Jaehyun, Johnny, Mark)

Their partner cuddles with a giant teddy bear that helps them sleep (Taeyong, Jaehyun, Ten, WinWin)

(MAFIA) s/o tells them their drink was spiked

🎌🎌🎌🎌🎌 🎌🎌🎌🎌🎌 🎌🎌🎌🎌🎌 🎌🎌🎌🎌🎌 🎌🎌🎌🎌🎌

                                                       Anime

            Haikyuu

yandere kageyama (headcanon)

(scenario) Different Courts (yandere Hinata Shoyo)

(scenario) Bloodied Blazer (yandere Oikawa tooru)

yandere hinata (headcanon)

(reaction) his feelings aren’t returned Yandere Kuroo

yandere Nishinoya (headcanon)

yandere Iwazumi (headcanon)

💭💭💭💭💭 💭💭💭💭💭 💭💭💭💭💭 💭💭💭💭💭 💭💭💭💭💭 

                                  Scenarios/imagines/ETC.

(scenario) arranged marriage (Yandere Taeyong)

(ask) How does he not shatter his s/o’s entire skeleton during punishments Yandere Taeyong 🔪

(imagine/scenario) argument (Yandere Kun)

(ask) wouldn’t want to make him angry (Yandere Taeyong)

(ask) s/o with withdrawal symptoms misses dosses, who uses that against them (Yandere NCT)

(ask) How would yandere taeyong act like with a very submissive s/o (Yandere Taeyong)

(ask) what punishments would they give his s/o? (Yandere Taeyong + Yandere Yuta)

(scenario) You Will (monster/yandere Seonghwa)

?Headcannon? jaeyong poly yandere (yandere Jaehyun, Yandere Taeyong) 🍋

(scenario) when the victim wakes up at his place for the first time (Yandere Ten)

(imagine) a boy in a yellow hoodie catches your attention in highschool (TXT Hueningkai) fluff

(ask) What would make him act romantic towards the s/o (Yandere Taeyong)

(ask) Difference between domyan-yandere-subyan WinWin (yandere nct)

Sub!Yandere Taeyong (yandere nct)

(scenario ) you are in a gg and will go solo for the first time and JYP asks for Chan to help you with your songs (Bang Chan) fluff

(scenario) he finds out that his girlfriend is pregnant and about to run away (Mafia Kyungsoo) fluff+angst

(ask) what if their darling suddenly get pregnant one day (yandere nct)

(ask) How would he act around his lover (yandere wonho)

(ask) kind kind of yandere is he (yandere Shownu)

(imagine) Luhan as a yandere’s victim (victim Luhan)

(fanfic) My Strong Rebel (Yesang x Seonghwa)

(imagine) making small cookies saying “ go out with me”, but you eat them without looking baker!doyoung

(ask) I better stay home with taeyongie, right? (Yandere Taeyong)

(scenario) taeyong regretting kidnapping his s/o and apologizing (Yandere-ish)

Love Never-ending (NCT member (unrevealed) x Reader)

Journey to retrieve the Akarnek: Intro (Kris) discontinued

(scenario) Stress In The Night (Chanyeol x Reader)

(scenario) The Beast within the Dark Forest  (Minhyuk x Reader)

(scenario) A Run for Forbidden Love (Baekhyun (wang Eun) x Reader)

(scenario) Suho is in Baby Space and only the reader can calm them down (Baby Space/ Little Space)

🔃🔃🔃🔃🔃 🔃🔃🔃🔃🔃 🔃🔃🔃🔃🔃 🔃🔃🔃🔃🔃 🔃🔃🔃🔃🔃

                                          Most to least

WayV MTL to date a fan

Nct mtl to accept and stay with a significant other who doesn’t want any kids

Monsta X MTL to kidnap their crush Yandere

Wayv mtl to date someone whose height is 4’11

TXT mtl to date a girl who is into wrestling

WAYV Mtl to date someone as short as 155cm

Yandere!Monsta X MTL to not allow their to visit their own family (Yandere)

WayV mtl to date a 2001 liner

NCT Yandere if their s/o managed to escape, who’d enjoy the thrill of the chase (yandere)

TXT mtl to date someone who is insecure but is working hard to be more confident

NCT MTL where each member place on the sadistic spectrum (yandere version)

TXT mtl date a tsundere

Monsta X mtl happy to have a s/o who likes to sit on his lap

NCT Mtl get a choker/collar to their s/o (yandere)

NCT Yandere MTL to don’t like a dirt mouth as s/o (yandere)

NCT mtL to enjoy having a bratty s/o (Yandere)

Ikon MLT to Take you with them everywhere instead of keeping you locked in their house (Yandere)

NCT Yandere (wayv, 127 and U) mtl to give a sexual punishment (Yandere)

NCT Yandere MtL to love their darling to have childish personality (Yandere)

NCT MtL to have a loud/playful partner

EXO MtL to liking their s/o having a daddy kink 

💬💬💬💬💬 💬💬💬💬💬 💬💬💬💬💬 💬💬💬💬💬 💬💬💬💬💬

                                             Snaps/Texts

(text) their sibling wanting them to be picked up after a date gone wrong (Doyoung, Taeyong, Johnny, Yuta, and Lucas) older brother

(text) when you ask them for money (Taeil, Johnny, Taeyong, Yuta, Mark) older brother

(text?) how everyday тeхтѕ are wιтн vernon (Seventeen)

🎥🎥🎥🎥🎥 🎥🎥🎥🎥🎥 🎥🎥🎥🎥🎥 🎥🎥🎥🎥🎥 🎥🎥🎥🎥🎥

                                  drama series requests

             The Untamed

They see their hybrid is injured/attacked and want to heal them

💘💘💘💘💘 💘💘💘💘💘 💘💘💘💘💘 💘💘💘💘💘 💘💘💘💘💘

             Love by Chance

Love Over Pain (scenario)

🎭🎭🎭🎭🎭 🎭🎭🎭🎭🎭 🎭🎭🎭🎭🎭 🎭🎭🎭🎭🎭 🎭🎭🎭🎭🎭

                                     moodboards

wooyoung blue (water) GIF moodboard

Date in the City w/ Suga GIF moodboard

Boyfriend Xero GIF moodboard

ToppDogg Forever GIF moodboard

Happy Birthday Yano GIF moodboard

“Sweets” Xero GIF moodboard

“he smells of gingerbread” (Bjoo) GIF moodboard

White Winter w/ Bjoo GIF moodboard

🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫 🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫 🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫 🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫 🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫

                                               MafiaTalks

18 I don’t know u at all and I’m not sure I can be with you anymore Mafia Taeyong

17 it’s been what 3 weeks?? I’m tired, I can’t do this anymore Mafia Mark & Haechan (NCT) 🌹

16 we should go on a trip, a trip to a isolated beach would be really good to us Mafia Doyoung (NCT)

15 Yuta, STOP! We can’t keep meting like this, I have a fiancé! Mafia Yuta (NCT)

14  I really think fighting the guys chasing us Is safer than riding a motorcycle with you Mafia Mark (NCT)

13 I’m not changing Jae! This dress isn’t too sexy, don’t you wanna show off a beauty like me? Mafia Jaehyun (NCT)

12 Why won’t you let me join your gang? Mafia Lucas (NCT)

11 I’m sorry for been a brat with you earlier…what if you leave just one man to watch me? Mafia Doyoung (NCT)

10. okay you’ve caught me but how can I even escape here.. It’s like a maze. Mafia Mark & Haechan (NCT) 🌹

9. YUTA LET ME OUT! Mafia Yuta (NCT)

8. since this is a arranged marriage, I don’t expect you loving me Mafia Johnny (NCT)

7. are you seriously trying to convince me the you are a professional hit man? Mafia Jaehyun (NCT)

6. aren’t you excited?! This is our first mission as officially mafia members! Mafia Lucas (NCT)

5. I know nothing about my father’s business please let me go! Mafia Mark & Haechan (NCT) 🌹

4. tell your men to stop following me every damn place I go! Mafia Doyoung (NCT)

3. Care to explain me WHY THE HELL THESE MEN ARE CHASING US?! Mafia Johnny (NCT)

2. what exactly makes you want to involve yourself with this mess?! Mafia Jaehyun (NCT)

1. Are you the one assigned to train me? Mafia Mark (NCT)

🧛‍♂️🧛‍♂️🧛‍♂️🧛‍♂️🧛‍♂️ 🧛‍♂️🧛‍♂️🧛‍♂️🧛‍♂️🧛‍♂️ 🧛‍♂️🧛‍♂️🧛‍♂️🧛‍♂️🧛‍♂️ 🧛‍♂️🧛‍♂️🧛‍♂️🧛‍♂️🧛‍♂️ 🧛‍♂️🧛‍♂️🧛‍♂️🧛‍♂️🧛‍♂️ 🧛‍♂️

                                          VampireTalks

I don’t want you to suck my blood or anything just so I can stay with you “forever” Vampire Taeyong (NCT)💐

🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪 🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪 🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪

                                        YandereTalks

YandereTalks 1-80 (79 NCT, 1 Monsta X)

80 Why are you still keeping me here? Yandere Kun (NCT) 🐝

79 I’m going to a friend’s party, you wanna come? Yandere Taeyong (NCT) 🥓

78 seriously? yuta is taken too… haechan…? Yandere Haechan (NCT) 🌼

77 Why are you hanging out with other girls when you have me right here? Yandere Jisung (NCT) 🌸

76 no one talks to yandere yuta… maybe I should… Yandere Yuta (NCT) 🌼

75 Its a been a year since we started dating dont you think it’s ok if you let me go for a walk? Yandere Yuta (NCT) 😎

74 I made some cookies for you while you were gone Yandere YangYang (NCT) 🤯

73 you’re so cute, I love you so much Yandere Jisung (NCT) 🍡

72 they came over when you were gone, but I didn’t know they would come Yandere Taeyong (NCT)

71 I’m sorry for making you mad, just please talk to me!! Yandere Jisung (NCT) 🌸

70 With all these punishments, I’m feeling useless Yandere Taeyong (NCT)

69 don’t put me in the basement, it’s dark and scary down there!!! Yandere Mark (NCT)

68 I’m really mad at you… Yandere Kun (NCT)

67 i don’t want to lose you just because of my sexuality…. Yandere WinWin (NCT)

66 wonder if I need to go to doctor to check if I’m pregnant Yandere Taeyong (NCT) 🌼

65 mark told me he likes me! What should I do? Yandere Mark (NCT) 🐾

64 can we go shopping I need some stuff like panties Yandere Ten (NCT)

63 you don’t satisfy my needs sexually Yandere Ten (NCT)

62 Everytime your partner is jealous over nothing it leads to “jealous sex” which disgusts me Yandere Taeyong (NCT)

61 Would you mind walking me home tonight? Yandere RenJun (NCT) 🔮

60 I want to leave this fucking house please! Yandere Jaehyun (NCT) 😪

59 can we cuddle? I’m so tired Yandere Jaemin (NCT)

58 I’ll sit in the corner til you understand what a cute ball of sunshine you lost Yandere Taeyong (NCT) 🌼

57 why do you keep following me everywhere?! leave me alone! Yandere Mark (NCT) 🍉

56 there is a guy spying on me Yandere Chenle (NCT) ♠️

55 I love kisses and cuddles with youuuuuu Yandere Taeyong (NCT) 🌼

54 Where would you want to touch me if you were free? Yandere Jungwoo (NCT) ~wings

53 I’m scared here in the dark locked up Yandere Taeil (NCT)

52 I’ll try and hang out with you more often Yandere Jisung (NCT) 🌸

51 I’m sorry that I’ll never live up to your expectations of me Yandere RenJun (NCT)

50 would you mind having threeway with us and another woman? Yandere Ten (NCT)

49 what would you do if your family didn’t approve your s/o? Yandere Ten (NCT)

48 could you pretty please go with me to take my dog to the park? Yandere Yuta (NCT) ✨

47 I’m an independent person and you are not my dad Yandere Jaemin (NCT) ☘

46 can i pretty please meet up with my friends? I really miss them Yandere Haechan (NCT)

45 I’m cold *shivers* Would you mind if I borrowed your sweater? Yandere Jeno (NCT)

44 can I go out with some of my friends please? It’s 1 of their birthdays Yandere Taeyong (NCT)

43 I’ve been pregnant without telling you for 3 months Yandere Taeyong (NCT)

42 I’m pregnant with your baby Yandere Taeyong (NCT)

41 i love girls.. i hope that doesn’t change anything Yandere WinWin (NCT)

40 I’m sorry for trying to run away Yandere Jaemin (NCT) 🐏

39 can I spend the night with you please? Yandere Taeyong (NCT) 🌙

38 I can’t tell if I want you to watch movies & cuddle me or pin me against the wall & kiss Yandere Jaehyun (NCT)

37 I can’t accept your confession Yandere Jaemin (NCT)

36 kisses are enough reward though I’d also like some cuddles Yandere Taeyong (NCT) 🌼

35 Can I go to the mall with my guy friends? Yandere Jisung (NCT) 🌸

34 I’m yours and you’re mine right? Yandere Taeyong (NCT) 🌼

33 I’ll be visiting my family in Europe Yandere WinWin (NCT) 🐰

32 I think I fell for you Yandere Jaemin (NCT)

31 I won’t take the handcuffs off Yandere Jungwoo (NCT) ~wings

30 I got A on my last exam and I’m straight A student now Yandere Taeyong (NCT) 🌼

29 am I allowed out to buy ingredients to cook for you? Yandere Ten (NCT) 🐺

28 can I go to the gym with my friends? Yandere Jisung (NCT) 🌸

27 can I sit on your lap? I’ve been good Yandere ten (NCT)

26 I have exam time right now…Any idea how to relieve some stress? Yandere Johnny (NCT) 🥀

25 don’t touch me or come near me.. I’m getting sick Yandere Jaemin (NCT) anon♡

24 Would you let me violate your body? Yandere Ten (NCT)

23 I saw you with some girl yesterday. why you love hurting me? Yandere Taeyong (NCT)

22 can y-you please let me out… I’ve been in here for the last 4 days Yandere Mark (NCT) ⚡

21 a girl likes you…it makes me jealous because you’re supposed to be m i n e Yandere Jaemin (NCT)

20 I didn’t mean to stare… You really are an incredible dancer Yandere Ten (NCT)

19 Don’t worry, You’ll like what I’ll do to you Yandere Jungwoo (NCT) ~wings

1 You can smash my phone anytime Yandere Jaemin (NCT)

2 Can I go out with friends? Yandere Taeyong (NCT)

3 … I love you… Yandere Taeyong (NCT) 🌼  need to find and relink

4 I did nothing wrong, I’m just shy Yandere Taeyong (NCT) 🌼

5 kiss and cuddles Yandere Taeyong (NCT) 🌼

6 What if you fall out of love Yandere Jaemin (NCT)

7 Can you hold me Yandere Lucas (NCT)

8 Can I start a garden Yandere Jeno (NCT)

9 You deserve your punishment Yandere Jungwoo (NCT) ~Wings

10 I’m sorry Yandere Taeyong (NCT) 🌼

11 Yuta… I’m in love with someone else Yandere Yuta (NCT) 🐰

12 My guy friend told me to leave you Yandere Ten (NCT)

13 why must you act as if I’m so much younger than you Yandere Jisung (NCT)

14 What if Yandere Jaemin wants to share me Yandere Haechan (NCT)

15 wouldn’t it be bothersome if I get pregnant and give birth? Yandere Jaehyun (NCT)

16 I know you want to sleep but I’ve prepared your favorite breakfast Yandere Hyungwon (Monsta X)

17 Can we talk? Yandere Jaemin (NCT) 🐏

18 it’s ok to treat me like a baby sometimes Yandere Jisung (NCT) 🌸

YandereTalks 81-161 (79 NCT, 1 Monsta X)

80 somehow enjoying anything without you feels wrong Yandere Taeyong (NCT) 🌼

79 I will not give in to you! Yandere Taeyong (NCT) 🤡

78 Oh no, he’s gonna be so mad! Yandere Jisung (NCT) 🌸

77 Can we watch memes? Yandere Taeyong (NCT) 🥓

76 if you really do love me then why do you leave to see other girls? Yandere Taeyong (NCT)

75 Would you take me to a movie theater? Yandere Kun (NCT) 🐝

74 you can literally have anyone in the world, why specifically me? Yandere Taeyong (NCT) 🤡

73 I love my work and if you can’t accept it, I will break up with you Yandere Taeyong (NCT)

72 I just stumbled and accidentally hit the kitchen counter when I went to the kitchen Yandere Johnny (NCT) 🐻

71 Would you maybe, perhaps, like to go out sometime..? Yandere Yuta (NCT)

70 i wanna do things to u + with u Yandere Yuta (NCT) 🧸

69 I’m not bad at pick-up lines Yandere Johnny (NCT) 🥓

68 that long hair in Wakey Wakey looks so good on you! Yandere Johnny (NCT)🥓

67 If you wanted to walk with me you should just asked Yandere XiaoJun (NCT)🦇

66 I have plans tonight Yandere XiaoJun (NCT)

65 Let’s talk later when we’re both calmer Yandere Taeyong (NCT) 🔪

64 I wanted to ask you what you actually meant with keeping me innocent Yandere Jaehyun (NCT)

63 Yandere Chenle, but you’re allowed to call me Birdie Yandere Chenle (NCT) 🌸

62 I just want to be able to hug and cuddle you more Yandere Mark (NCT) ☂️

61 can we please sit on the roof or on the balcony when it gets dark? Yandere Taeyong (NCT) 🌼

60 I think we need to end this, this relationship Yandere Wonho (Monsta X)

59 You are the yee to my haw Yandere Johnny (NCT) 🥓

58 people might find you intimidating but i’m more intrigued by you than anything else Yandere Johnny (NCT) 💌

57 your love for me is not stupid, cutie, i’m touched that you love me. Yandere WinWin (NCT)

56 why you are allowed to fuck other girls? If you don’t stop, I will go and do the same Yandere Taeyong (NCT)

55 can you please be more gentle with me…? I have lots of bruises and they hurt Yandere Mark (NCT)

54 I just watched a horror movie and now I’m scared Yandere Taeyong (NCT)

53 why did some girl stop me on my way to class to tell me she’s your soulmate? Yandere Lucas (NCT)

52 I come here a lot inbetween classes. Is your school around here too? Yandere RenJun (NCT) -Mayleigh

51 it would be fine for me to just have one night stand or quick fuck with someone, right? Yandere Taeyong (NCT)

50 are you leaving…? to some girl again…? will you at least come home tonight…? Yandere Taeyong (NCT) 🌼

49 i’ve been so lonely lately. nobody’s talking to me, but i only need you right? Yandere Jaehyun (NCT)

48 no one is talking to you why is that? Yandere Lucas (NCT) 🌙

47 I can defend myself. I’m not that weak Yandere Taeyong (NCT)

46 my brother said that you are a bad influence for me so I can’t spend my time with you anymore Yandere Kun (NCT)

45 Do you want to maybe.. be mine for tonight? I could have lots of fun with you Yandere Jungwoo (NCT) -3am

44 Uhhh.. hey babe… do you need something?? …………?Victim Jeno? (NCT) 🍡

43 you are the reason i’m still hanging on. i love you Yandere Kun (NCT) ✈️

42 Why do you keep me locked inside the house while you go out? Yandere Hendery (NCT) 🤡

41 I will do what you ask, it is anything in particular you would want from me? Yandere Kun (NCT) 🐝

40 i wanted to tell you that i think you’re stunning Yandere Yuta (NCT) 💸

39 I can contact my friends so they can come and help me clean, but I’ll need my phone back Yandere Kun (NCT) 🐝

38 we can cuddle and play video games Yandere Jisung (NCT) 🌸

37 Jisungie-ah~ you’re so cute~ do you want noona to eat ice cream with me? Yandere Jisung (NCT) 🥓

36 I’m so sorry, taeyong… you’re love of my life too Yandere Taeyong (NCT) 🌼

35 please let me go outside, I’ll do anything you want please Yandere Jaehyun (NCT) 😪

34 w-what are you gonna do to me? Yandere Taeyong (NCT)

33 Call you Mr. Cool? I can do that Yandere Chenle (NCT) 🌸

32 there’s no point in trying to hide when I can literally see you standing behind that tree Yandere XiaoJun (NCT) 🦇

31 How am I supposed to tutor you if you just stare off into space? Yandere XiaoJun (NCT)

30 you seemed lonely so I wanted to talk to you, but um… Why is everyone ignoring you? Yandere XiaoJun (NCT) 🐌

29 I’d show you affection much more if you weren’t so distant Yandere Mark (NCT) ☂️

28 I would rather become infertile than bear your child Yandere Taeyong (NCT)

27 I’m sorry I acted up like that.. It’s just that I need to get out of here Yandere Kun (NCT) 🦄

26 Sorry I drugged your drink last night, but it was for your own good Yandere Taeyong (NCT) 🔪

25 I’ll endure any punishment you give me, just d-don’t leave me Yandere Taeyong (NCT) 🌼

24 If you don’t let me go, I will find the way to escape and then I will go to police Yandere Taeyong (NCT)

23 It’s my parents soon and I was wondering if I could go see them? Yandere Johnny (NCT) 👼

22 my grandmother is the only relative i have… until she gets better, let me look after her Yandere Taeyong (NCT)

21 I’m leaving, and I’m calling the cops on you if you ever come closer to me Yandere Taeyong (NCT)

20 I’m scared that your going to leave me will you ever leave me? Yandere Ten (NCT)

19 I don’t know why but lately I’ve been craving you so bad Yandere Yuta (NCT)

18 If you don’t want to take me shopping, I’ll just ask someone else to do it Yandere WinWin (NCT)

17 i don’t really want a soulmate… love is just stupid…. Yandere WinWin (NCT)

16 i’ve noticed that not many people come to talk to you, so i’ll keep you company Yandere Johnny (NCT) 💌

15 let’s study together! I have this assignment and none of my friends are available Yandere Taeyong (NCT)

14 Can i please have female lover or sex partner aside from you Yandere Taeyong (NCT) 🤤

13 if you’re so Dom, what’s the reason behind the song Whiplash Yandere Taeyong (NCT)

12 I can beat these perverts’ useless ass in a second Yandere Taeyong (NCT) 🥓

11 I think I’m ready to sleep in bed with you Yandere Ten (NCT) 🐺

10 I’ve noticed that you come this cafe a lot too. Yandere RenJun (NCT)-Mayleigh

9 *lowkey wants to get many hickeys from yandere!taeyong* Yandere Taeyong (NCT) 🌼

8 If you can say the right words and beg the right way, I’ll let you out Yandere Jungwoo (NCT) ~wings

7 I’ll die starving and you will lose your favourite darling! Yandere Jaehyun (NCT) 🌼

6 Jaehyun, baby, daddy please I just wanna go outside please! Yandere Jaehyun (NCT) 😪

5 I get so scared whenever I have to go home this late Yandere RenJun (NCT) 🔮

4 please let me out of the house! It’s been 2 months! Yandere Taeyong (NCT)

3 he is just a friend! Why can’t I see him? Yandere Taeyong (NCT)

2 I thought you would understand Yandere Mark (NCT) 🐾

1 taeyong-ah! can I talk to haechan-ie a bit? he seems nice and wouldn’t hurt me… Yandere Taeyong (NCT) 🌼

YandereTalks 162-242 (66 nct/wayv, 5 mx, 4 skz, 3 ikon, 1 ateez,1 exo)

80 I was hiding in a parking lot after escaping from his house Yandere Yuta (NCT)

79 I didn’t know how much longer I can go on with this punishment Yandere Mark (NCT)🍓

78 I really really like you Yandere Jisung (NCT)🚀

77 I’m so tired of sitting inside you can hold my hand while we go outside Yandere Kun (NCT)🐧

76 *looks at the stanger* would you like to keep my number sir? Yandere Jeno (NCT)

75 I missed the train, I don’t know what to do Yandere Seonghwa (ATEEZ)

74 I can give you my number and tutor you if you want Yandere Jeno (NCT) 🦑

73 I haven’t eaten today… I’m so hungry Yandere Jisung (NCT)🌸

72 you’re obviously not in charge anymore Yandere Taeyong (NCT)🔪

71 please.. Don’t raise my punishment.15 is too much already Yandere Johnny (NCT)🐻

70 You ruined my friends birthday party Yandere Minhyuk (Monsta X)

69 Their study buddy talks with a friend Yandere Yuta & Yandere WinWin (NCT/WayV)🤠

68 wont hesitate to punch you if i need to. So just fucking let me go! Yandere Jisung (SKZ) ♠️

67 please not handcuffs or b-b-blindfold… I don’t wanna be alone Yandere Jisung (NCT) 🌸

66 I cant believe you think I should be ok with you cheating on me! Yandere Yuta (NCT)

65 Can I go visit my friends? It’s my birthday Yandere WinWin (NCT/WayV)

64 I’m home alone and I’m terrified of the dark Yandere Haechan (NCT)🎤

63 what do you want for your birthday? Yandere Taeyong (NCT) 🍦

62 i’ve heard rumors speculating that you’ve been sleeping around with other women Yandere Taeyong (NCT)

61 you make me want to do things to you. Would you like that? SUB!Yandere Taeyong (NCT)

60 I know I’m not allowed to go outside but can I please? I miss my friends! Yandere Taeyong (NCT)

59 I tried to untie myself but the ropes were too strong. “Hello?!” I yelled Yandere WooJin (Stray Kids)

58 please! mark me more, go out with me, please, something… I’m yours only Yandere Taeyong (NCT) 🌼

57 One of my friends told me that you threatened him yesterday Yandere Wonho (Monsta X)

56 pleaseee you never let me outside.. just for once and it’s only in the garden Yandere Kun (NCT) 🐧

55 We can always order if you want Yandere YangYang (NCT) 🥓

54 relationships like.. with love and all.. that doesn’t interest me Yandere Chenle (NCT) 🥓

53 I never wanted to make you jealous. I just wanted to surprise you Yandere Chanyeol (EXO) 🐃

52 this possessive attitude has to stop! Yandere XiaoJun (NCT) 🎼

51 Taeyong wishes he could be like yuta!!!!!! Yandere Yuta (NCT) 🧸

50 when will you show me to your family? i showed you to mine Yandere Taeyong (NCT)

49 cutie you are as cute as I am. You can’t deny that SUB!Yandere Taeyong (NCT)

48 What would I have to do to get your love and affection back? Yandere Jaemin (NCT)

47 I’m leaving. I already got a restraining order, so leave me alone Yandere Ten (NCT)

46 You look so hot when you glare at others Yandere Ju-ne (IKON)

45 I’m older than you. It’ll do you well if you found a girl your age Yandere Mark (NCT)

44 I got A on my last exam and I’m straight A student now! Yandere Taeyong (NCT)🌼 old post that was never linked

43 Last night was a mistake. We shouldn’t have– I think we shouldn’t see each other anymore Yandere WinWin (NCT)

42 Hello, how was your today strange man? Yandere WooJin (Stray Kids)

41 GET OFF ME, TAEYONG! when will you accept that I don’t like you! Stay away from me! Yandere Taeyong (NCT) 🌠

40 you can’t kiss me,I don’t want you to get flu Yandere Taeyong (NCT) 🌼

39 I dont really like you in that way. But we can still be friends Yandere Jisung (Stray Kids) ♠️

38 I’m really sorry that I lied. But please, don’t punish me again Yandere Johnny (NCT) 🐻

37 if you want me to stop being mad at you you’ll get on your knees and beg for it SUB!Yandere Taeyong (NCT)

36 I broke up with you already two years ago, leave me alone! Yandere Kihyun (Monsta X)

35 can I kiss you… and would you please give me my colar back? Yandere Hyungwon (Monsta X)

34 what kind of p-punishment is it this time? Yandere Jisung (NCT) 🌸

33 I could overpower them, I guess that’s why they need chains and mind games Yandere Taeyong (NCT)

32 it’s really uncomfortable for me to wear collar at all times, could you please remove it Yandere Ten (NCT) 🤤

31 I have a fear of any physical contact from male i just want some space for myself Yandere Ten (NCT)

30 ya don’t have to act all aggressive for me to see you as my protector Yandere Lucas (NCT) 🦑

29 yandere!yuta is so rude to my master! he isn’t such a man whore Yandere Taeyong (NCT) 🌼

28 Not only did you ruin dinner but you made my friend uncomfortable! Yandere XiaoJun (NCT) 🎼

27 I’m gonna go out w/ my friends its one of my best friends bachelorette party SUB!Yandere Taeyong (NCT) 👒

26 you are gonna leave me with no water? Yandere Doyoung (NCT) 🔫

25 I’m sorry for being a brat earlier.. I’ll do anything to make up for it Yandere Mark (NCT) 🍓

24 Okay I’m not gonna cook but.. why would I try to kill you? Yandere YangYang (NCT) 🥓

23 get it you want to show me of as yours but are all those hickeys really necessary? Yandere DK (IKON)

22 You never seem to respond to my texts or calls anymore… Do you not like me anymore? Yandere Jaemin (NCT)

21 you’re so cute begging for my attention, what a cutie SUB!yandere Taeyong (NCT)

20 thank you for making me a better person Yandere Taeyong (NCT) 🌼

19 Oh well my parents are calling me so I..uhhh…I gotta go but maybe I’ll see you later Yandere Haechan (NCT) 🌑

18 you don’t sleep with other girls like taeyong, right? Yandere Yuta (NCT) 🧸

17 I know what I did was bad, and I wasn’t thinking because I was mad Yandere Jisung (NCT) 🌸

16 I didn’t mean to make you worry… The bruise is not that bad. Yandere Johnny (NCT) 🐻

15 I-im sorry Kun, I shouldn’t have kissed you, if you want to punish me I will understand Yandere Kun (NCT) 🐝

14 what if in the end, I don’t fall in love for you? Yandere Lucas (NCT)

13 I’m not your fucking slave! I want to leave!… I’m leaving! Yandere Yuta (NCT)

12 I’m scared of the storm, could you talk to me about something the you love to distract me Yandere Taeyong (NCT)

11 I willingly left my family and friends for you and you’re not sure about my feelings? Yandere Taeyong (NCT) 🌼

10 what the fuck is this is room Wonho?! Yandere Wonho (Monsta X)

9 I don’t know why you forced me to move in! I have my own house Yandere Bobby (IKON) 🐃

8 if you are actually dating that girl, I’m fine with backing off Yandere Lucas (NCT)🦑

7 I don’t want to have kids Yandere Yuta (NCT)

6 A friend of mine came into town and we are going to have dinner together Yandere XiaoJun (NCT) 🎼

5 can you please just let go of me so I can take a bath without you? Yandere Jungwoo (NCT)

4 I think you completely broke me Yandere Taeyong (NCT) 🌼

3 I’m so sorry babe, but I broke your phone dropping in the water Yandere Doyoung (NCT) 🔫

2 would you let me cook for you tonight? Yandere YangYang (NCT) 🥓

1 where have all of your friends gone?… Are we alone? Yandere Haechan (NCT)

YandereTalks 243-323 (……………….)

12 I’ll have to punish you for looking at me like that Yandere Taeyong (NCT)🔪

11 what’s that room on the 2nd floor?and why did I hear voices coming from the basement Yandere Kun (NCT/WayV)🐧

10 I know that you’re mad at me at failing my exam Yandere Kun (NCT/WayV)🦚

9 get OFF ME! You can’t throw me and NOT expect me to get hurt Yandere WinWin (NCT/WayV)🦑🔮

8 could you hook me up with RenJun Yandere haechan (NCT)💞

7 HELP ANYONE PLEASE, Haechan why are you doing this WHY Yandere Haechan (NCT)🌑

6 Talking to a friend, forgetting about studying Yandere Yuta & Yandere WinWin (NCT/WayV)🤠

5 We can study at mine, it’s not to far from here anyways Yandere Jeno (NCT)🦑

4 I’ll take the punishment like a good s/o Yandere Jisung (NCT)🌸

3 I-I promise I didn’t go anywhere Yandere Kino (Pentagon) 😼

2 choose something for yourseeeelf, it’s yoooour birthday, not miiiine Yandere Taeyong (NCT)🌼

1 Do you like shrimp or steak more? I am making you dinner Yandere Jay (IKON)

[bibbawrites]

I Love You - Owen Joyner x Reader (16+)

Request: Owen x reader smut where they’re just super giggly and just all fluffy

Word Count: 1288 words

Summary: The best moments in life are free. Spending time with your boyfriend Owen definitely proved that 

Warnings: brief mention of divorce, fluffy/giggly make out, swearing, implied s*x

A/N: okay so this isnt actually smut, its kinda just a fluffy giggly make out session with implied smut but yeah hopefully you guys aren’t disappointed by this sorry it took so long (and that its so shit lol), anxiety is truly a bitch but i’m determined to get past this for you guys  also i was listening to “i was made for loving you” by tori kelly and ed sheeran while writing this so if you wanna listen to that you’re more than welcome to but you don’t need to 

Growing up you never wanted to fall in love. Your parents had broken up when you were only young and your mother always made sure to remind you how horrible men were and how you never needed one in your life. 

And you always believed her. That was until you met Owen. 

You first met Owen when you were 16, on holidays with your mum, your older sisters, your mum’s best friend and her best friend’s kids. Your mum and her best friend decided to go on a cruise together to reminisce on the days before they had kids, and of course that meant they didn’t want anything to do with you, your sisters or the other kids once you set foot on the boat. 

Your sisters were “too old” to spend time with you, instead opting to lie half naked near the pool to attract boys. And the kids of your mum’s best friend were too young, all going off to the kids club. 

You had woken up that morning, the first proper morning of the 14 day cruise, and decided to explore the boat, and eventually you found yourself on an observation deck at the front of the boat. There was a small table with two chairs, one of the chairs occupied by a blonde boy who looked to be around your age. 

“Do you mind if I sit?” You had asked him. He had looked up at you with a big grin and nodded, and you sat, introduced yourself and spent several hours there together watching for dolphins. 

The two of you hit it off, spending every waking moment of the entire two weeks of the cruise together before tearily separating at the cruise terminal, with him going back to Oklahoma and you going back to Tennessee. 

After the cruise you stayed in contact with Owen, occasionally visiting each other when you had the chance but mostly keeping in contact via ridiculously long facetime sessions and phone calls, and texts 24/7. 

Eventually you found yourself falling for the boy you had met on the cruise and he felt the same, the two of you beginning a long distance relationship. 

The two of you discussed running away together, getting your own place where you could just live your lives together without the distraction of your families. But these plans were ruined when the world shut down in a global pandemic. 

Then one day you had just had enough, packing as much as you could into your car and escaping your broken family in favour of the almost 11 hour drive to Norman, Oklahoma where you moved in with Owen and his family, happy to finally be with your boyfriend full time. 

“Can we go for a drive?” Owen questioned you one Sunday afternoon, the two of you laying on the grass in his backyard, staring up at a clear blue sky. You turned your head towards Owen. 

“Where would we go?” You questioned. He shrugged. 

“Nowhere? Just drive around for a bit.” He suggested, already standing up and holding his hands out for you to take. You took them, standing up next to him. 

“Sounds good.” You agreed, following him through the house and out to his car. 

“Can I pick the music?” You questioned once you were buckled into the passengers side. Owen grinned at you. 

“Always.” He said, offering you his phone. You took it and unlocked it easily, his passcode being your birthday, and you opened up his Spotify as Owen started the car. 

“Love songs?” You asked. He nodded and you clicked the playlist, the opening notes of Truly Madly Deeply by Savage Garden coming out of the speakers. 

“Want coffee?” Owen suggested, pulling out of the driveway. 

“Ooh yeah coffee sounds amazing.” You agreed. As you drove you smiled softly, glancing over at the boy in the drivers seat just wondering how you got so lucky. 

Almost an hour and a half later you and Owen arrived home, having tired of driving around Norman, your coffee well and truly finished. 

“Is anyone home?” Owen called as he unlocked the front door, holding it open for you to walk in before following you. 

No response. Owen grinned. 

“Whole place to ourselves.” He said, raising an eyebrow.

You took a step closer to him and he wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you flush against him.

“About time we got some alone time.” You whispered, and he grinned, leaning down to connect your lips.

Tugging you by your shirt he pulled you down the hallway to his room, lips never disconnecting. He kicked open his door and you couldn’t help but giggle against his lips.

“What?” He asked with a grin, pulling away from you. You shut the door behind you and turned back to Owen, smiling softly.

“Just you being extra.” You replied, and he laughed.

“Only for you.” He teased, pulling you over to the bed.

You sat down on his bed, and he sat next to you, soft smiles on both of your faces.

“Guess what?” You said, reaching out to play with his long, blonde hair. He lent into your touch.

“You’re mad and I’m not?” He teased, and you giggled.

“No!” You exclaimed. Owen gasped playfully.

“Then what?” He matched your tone perfectly.

“I love you.” You told him. He smiled, kissing you gently.

“I love you too.” He replied. You grinned. 

“But I love you more.” You retaliated. He shook his head. 

“Uh no? I love you the most.” He pulled a face. 

“Well I love you most-est.” You bit back with a grin.

“I love you to the moon and saturn.” He replied. You paused.

“Nice Taylor Swift reference.” You praised. He smiled softly.

“I really do love you Y/N.” He said, his tone much more serious.

“I love you too Owen.” You told him, your tone matching his. 

He pushed you backwards onto the bed and climbed on top of you, connecting your lips again. You tangled your fingers through his hair, tugging slightly causing Owen to moan into your mouth. 

Kissing Owen was like a drug. No matter how much you got you always wanted more. His lips were made to fit with yours, and you would be forever grateful that you found him. 

Your tongues tangled together, and when he finally pulled away you were panting, trying to catch your breath. 

Owen’s lips grazed your neck gently as he left a trail of soft kisses along it. You giggled at the tickling feeling that it created, and Owen pulled away, a confused look on his face. 

“What?” He questioned. 

“Tickles.” You said simply. He smiled cheekily. 

“Oh yeah? Wanna know what else tickles?” He asked, and before you could answer his fingers were attacking your sides, causing you to squirm and laugh under him. 

“Stop!” You squealed. Owen laughed. 

“You were the one who brought up tickling.” He said, shaking his head as he continued to tickle you. 

“I didn’t mean for you to tickle me though.” You managed to say through laughs. 

“What was that, sorry? You need to stop laughing so I can understand you.” Owen teased. 

“Owen!” You exclaimed. “Stop or I’ll pee on you.” 

“You wouldn’t.” He froze. 

You took a deep breath, pushing him off you. 

“You’re such an idiot.” You said after a moment. Owen grinned, moving closer. 

“But I’m your idiot, right?” He questioned, batting his eyelashes at you. 

“Unfortunately.” You fake sighed.

“Fuck you.” Owen gasped. You gave him a cheeky grin. 

“Would you please?” You replied, and his eyes lit up, pushing you back down onto the bed and showing you once and for all how much he really loved you. 

[therenlover]

Red Nights In Jupiter (A Jimmy Darling/Reader Oneshot)

Synopsis: At the end of another long day, you fall into bed with Jimmy Darling. The men you served throughout the day don’t matter then, nor do the coins in the mason jar by the door, or the women scheduled to attend Jimmy’s next Tupperware party. No, in that quiet darkness it’s just you and the man you love, bone-tired and happy to be home. Who could ask for more?

Tags: Cuddling, Prostitution, Wound Care, Hurt/Comfort, Referenced Past Non-Con (it’s not Jimmy, don’t worry), Implied Sexual Content/Innuendo

Rating: 16+

Warnings*: Mentioned Police Officer Abusing Their Power, Referenced Non-Con, Jimmy Drinks A Beer, Non-Graphic Wound Care 

Word Count: 3000~

* - This fic includes a reader who is a prostitute and has recently been taken advantage of by a police officer in exchange for not going to jail. There are no graphic scenes and it's mentioned only a couple of times in passing, but the ending portion of the fic is Jimmy helping the reader recover from wounds (just bruises/scratches) they got during the incident. If this is potentially triggering, please steer clear!

This fic has been crossposted under the same title to my AO3!

--------

“How did the show go tonight?” You mumbled, mouth full of toothpaste.

“It wasn’t anything special,” Jimmy responded as you spit, “some dumb kids snuck in a couple of rotten tomatoes but their aim was shit. Nobody got hit, so I’ll consider it a success,”

The two of you stood shoulder to shoulder over the tiny kitchen sink in his trailer, clumsily going through the motions to wind down from an exhausting day. Outside the sky was a deep red. The last of the sun’s dying light shimmered over the ferris wheel as it made its last run, cutting through the muggy Jupiter air. In the last weeks of July, everything was sweltering. Even the walls of the little trailer were hot enough to leave a burn in the full heat of the noontime sun. Thankfully for you, as the sun receded so did the worst of the scalding heat, leaving behind a hot, wet, and thick fog over the nighttime landscape.

Jimmy finished washing his face while you rinsed your toothbrush. “Elsa and I were thinking that maybe, in the next couple ‘a years, we should invest in another ride. Not a ‘coaster, nothing huge, just something other than the ferris wheel that would keep the kids busy while their parents watch the show,” As he spoke, he wet a washcloth under the tap before wringing it out and tossing it over his shoulders. “What do you think, doll?”

“I think-” you held your tongue, your biting reply dissolving into bitter acid in your mouth, “I think that if that’s what’s best for the show, we should start investing sooner rather than later. It’s always best to be prepared so we can figure it into the budget ASAP,” With a practiced hand you bundled up your toiletries and tucked them away in the drawer. The shake in your tired digits was barely perceptible in the dimly lit room. What was best for the troupe was what was best for you. Still, you couldn’t help but sneak a gaze at the half-full mason jar sitting on the counter by the door.

“You sure?” Jimmy asked. He was down in the mini-fridge now, pulling out a can of some cheap beer. You closed your eyes and offered a curt nod. There was no need to argue over an impossible dream. If Elsa wanted a new ride, she would get a new ride.

“I’m sure, Jimmy. I’m just tired,”

Thankfully, he accepted your excuse with a shrug, settling in at the pull-down table. “Whatever you say, sweet thing,” he cooed, “now get over here. I missed you today,”

You gave in to his request easily. After everything you’d been through over the last 12 hours, you weren’t about to turn down a little affection and attention from the man you loved. Your sunburnt shoulders stung as you clambered into Jimmy’s arms and allowed your face to settle into his sweet, sweaty embrace. His heart thudded under your ear, a steady quarter-note rhythm guiding your own soaring staccato down to normalcy.

Somewhere out in the field, probably in one of the other rusted-out trailers where your friends were settling down in their own nighttime routines, a radio buzzed to life. The sweet sounds of Paul Anka crooning his newest hit loosened your nerves. Over your shoulder, Jimmy took a long swig from his can.

“How was work?” you whispered. Jimmy set down his drink with a little more force than usual. One of his fused hands found its way into his hair. You both knew you weren’t asking about the show.

“I didn’t make much today, but I’m almost fully booked for Thursday. That’s the last party until next week unless the ladies want to throw something after church on Sunday. Wednesday we don’t have a show, so I’m all yours,”

His voice was tired, a departure from his usual confidence. This wasn’t Jimmy Darling the leader and performer, it was your Jimmy boy, the man who held your broken heart together with his unusual hands. You relished in the vulnerability, letting yourself nuzzle closer to his skin. He smelled like sweat and grease and cheap cologne but you couldn’t bring yourself to care. It was him. That’s what mattered.

“I could take Wednesday off, Wednesday is never that busy,” you mused.

“Then we’ll go out on Wednesday,” Jimmy was jovial but not loud, dropping his hand down from his hair to rub abstract patterns into your back above the starchy cotton of your day dress, “I’ll take us down to the beach on my bike and we can have a picnic lunch by the ocean. I know a spot off the road that nobody would ever think to go to, it’s like a private beach we’ll have all to ourselves, and the guy at the deli owes me a favor so I can pick up sandwich stuff for cheap when I run in tomorrow. Maybe I’ll even spend a little extra a grab a bottle of that white wine you like. How does that sound, doll face?”

You hummed out an affirmative, far too deep into your newfound relaxation to form words. Your boneless, half-lucid state made Jimmy laugh. His smile only fell when he found a fresh bruise on your back, making you wince.

“Are you sure you’re alright?” he asked, pulling his hand away. You whined at the loss of contact. It was rare for you to have the time to wind down together these days, every second of attention was something to cherish.

“It’s just a bad bruise,”

In an instant, Jimmy had you straddling his lap to face him with your face in his large hands. “Did somebody hurt you?” he asked, running a thumb over your cheek to check for concealer or any small cuts and bruises he might have missed, “‘cause if somebody hit my girl I’m gonna have to show them what’s what. I don’t care if they paid, they don’t get to do that shit to you,”

You couldn’t help but avert your eyes, letting your gaze linger on the veins bulging in Jimmy’s neck instead of his face. It would be too difficult to risk seeing the disappointment in his eyes. “It was a cop, Jimmy. I got busted,”

He groaned. “Those bastards…”

“Thankfully this time he just took what he wanted and let me off with a warning. He’ll be back, though, they always are. I’m sorry, Jimmy, I’m just so tired,” A shudder wracked your shoulders, a silent sob you couldn’t quite choke down. You had to take a minute to remind yourself that you were safe. Jimmy had you. You were tucked away from the world in his arms, and he’d kill someone before he let them do anything to hurt you. Nothing and no one could touch you as long as he was there. When he wasn’t, though…

You gripped his thin, white undershirt a little tighter.

Jimmy was with you, not some stranger who had picked you up off the streets for a little fun. You were at home in your caravan with Jimmy and he was holding you and nothing else mattered. There was no reason to be afraid.

He gritted his teeth. Obviously, your distress wasn’t as invisible as you wished it was. “Don't be sorry, doll, this isn't your fault. You know what? You don’t have to go back out there. There are plenty of other ways we can make the money, sweetheart, just say the word and I’ll make it happen. You never have to deal with them again,”

“But the new ride-”

“To hell with the new ride!” Jimmy was shouting in earnest now, but you weren’t afraid, pushing yourself further into his touch. Part of you liked watching him come to your defense. It was something he would only do for someone he loved, someone who was a part of his family, not just any horny housewife that used him to chase their own desires. “Your safety is so much more important than a new ride a couple years down the line! I’ll go tell Elsa to scrap the idea right now if that means you feel better. You’re the most important thing to me, Y/N. You say jump and I say how high. I’m not gonna force you to do anything, if you choose to keep working I have no right to stand up all high and mighty and tell you not to, but if you do wanna stop… I guess what I’m sayin’ is that I want you to be happy, and if I have to pick up the slack for you to do that then so be it,”

You were cradled against his chest again by the end of his schpiel. Your anxiety wasn’t quite as bad as it had been before, and the newly fallen darkness added a sort of buffer to your feelings. Everything was fuzzier in the dark. In that place past dusk where the problems of the word lost their sharp edges you let yourself abandon everything that scared you during the day. Children were afraid of the things they couldn’t see by moonlight but you relished in the anonymity of the night. Life was much scarier by the light of the sun.

“Thank you, Jimmy, I mean it,” you murmured, pressing a soft kiss to his palm before pulling away from his touch, “but we both know I can’t quit,”

“But doll, I-”

“No buts. I bring in more in a week than the troupe makes in a month, not to mention that I get half the essentials for the mess tent at a discount from customers who are sweet on me. Someday, and that day can’t come soon enough, we’ll have enough saved up to get out of here, but until then we both just have to do whatever we can to make that future a reality,”

Jimmy nodded, draining the last warm dregs from his beer and tossing the empty can into the trash. “I just hate thinkin’ about you standing out there alone while those assholes look at you like a piece of meat,”

“I get by well enough,”

“I know you do, but you can’t blame me for worrying,” In a moment of drowsy bliss, you let a soft yawn escape your lips. Jimmy grinned. “Are you fallin’ asleep on me?”

You offered him a loose, gummy smile. “Maybe a little,”

He was quick to sweep a well-muscled arm up under your knees, lifting you up bridal style. You let out a small shriek of surprise. Jimmy didn’t let that distract him, though, as he carried your wriggling form over to your shared bed before setting you down with a low chuckle. “Now dollface,” he said, pulling off his sweat-damp undershirt and the washcloth that had been resting on his shoulders, “you up for a little bit of the Jimmy Darlin’ magic tonight, or would you rather just cuddle?”

“Can we just cuddle tonight? I’m still sore as hell. That asshole cop had me up against a brick wall and didn’t exactly take the time to lighten up his grip when I started to bruise,”

Jimmy nodded. “I tell you what,” he said, running a fused digit over the top button of your dress, “first let’s get that dress off you, then I can rub on some of that arnica gel we got as a gift from the new girl last month, alright? She said it helps with bruises. Once you’re all taken care of, then we can cuddle,”

“That sounds heavenly,” You smiled up at Jimmy as you unbuttoned the front of your dress, easily sliding out and discarding it as he changed out of his work jeans and into some thin cotton pajama pants. Your bra came off last, and much to your surprise your beau didn’t spend much time ogling you, instead turning quickly to go recover the ointment from the shelf in the bathroom.

From your viewpoint on the bed, Jimmy looked like Adonis. He was always handsome, sure, but you loved how the moonlight hit his bare back, revealing each plane of thick, workers muscle as it caressed his skin. As your eyes fluttered closed, you could almost feel the ghost of his body above yours. The radio across the field was still droning on outside the window. In your bed, watching Jimmy putter around the trailer and listening to the fuzzy music that drifted in from the outside, you felt complete for the first time in a long time. There was only one thing left to do that could make you feel better.

“Jimmy,” you asked, “tell me about the future?”

He turned to you with a sigh, the glass jar of arnica gel in hand, “Doll, I’m no Dr. Seuss...”

“Pleeeease, Jimmy,” you whined, “for me?”

It didn’t take anything more for Jimmy to give in. “How could I ever say no when you ask so nicely,” He sat down at your side on the bed, nudging you to roll onto your stomach and give him access to your bruised and scraped back. As he began his gentle probing of your wounds, he started to talk.

“Once we save up enough money,” he whispered, scooping up some gel from the jar before rubbing it into a particularly tender purple spot, “we’re gonna get out of here. You and Ma and me will find a nice little house somewhere with some land, and we’ll be happy there. When we get there, I’ll find a job somewhere where people won’t gawk at me. I can work construction or grow produce in the yard, and you… you, doll, will finally get to rest. You can stay home with Ma, cook, sew, read; you’ll never have to sell yourself on the streets again,”

You squirmed under his touch. “Now tell me about the kids,”

Jimmy groaned. “Really?”

“They’re the best part!”

“Alright, alright, because you won’t stop buggin’ me I’ll talk about the kids, but next time I’m down and out after a fight you’d better return the favor. I expect you to talk my ear off about all the sinful things I wanna hear while you’re busy holding a steak to my eye,”

You grinned. “Since when have I ever let you down, Mr. Darling?”

“Not once, sweet thing,” he pressed a soft kiss to the back of your head before going back to focusing on your flesh, now doing more of a massage on the less marred areas than anything else. “Now where were we?”

“The kids, Jimmy,”

“Oh right, the kids!” You let your eyes drift closed as he spoke, relishing in the feeling of his hands against your skin. Every moment in his arms was heaven. It was a real shame the rest of society didn’t see him the way you did, but it kept any potential competition away, and for that you were grateful. Life without Jimmy would be like baking with no sugar; just plain wrong. “Once we have our own place and the money is coming in, I won’t have to waste my pocket change on rubbers anymore. I’ll get you nice and pregnant and then, after nine months of getting looked after by yours truly, you’ll finally have your own little Darling, yours an’ mine. Won’t that be a sight? A little Jimmy Jr. runnin’ around in the yard, absolutely spoiled rotten by his grandma. I dunno much about bein’ a good dad, but I sure as hell know what not to do. No matter what the child ends up looking like, I’ll be there every step of the way. Who knows, if you and I get real busy we may have a whole brood of Darling children before long,”

You wanted to offer up some sort of placation, a witty reply, but you found that your tongue was too heavy and your eyes were drooping lower by the second. It was cooler now that the moon had started her ascent into the night sky, cool enough to stay comfortable with the little air conditioning unit in the window running full blast. Suddenly, the bed shifted next to you as Jimmy screwed the top back onto the jar and got up to return it to its shelf.

“Hey, Jimmy?” you called, voice thick with exhaustion. He was quick to respond, slotting the jar into its place and stepping out of the dimly lit bathroom to check on you.

“You alright?”

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine,” you said, rolling onto your back and getting comfortable on top of the sheets, “I just wanted to say I love you, so much,”

Jimmy was back at your side in an instant. “I love you too, doll. I dunno what I ever did to deserve you-”

“Oh stop!” your words were slurred now, dripping from your lips as you watched Jimmy climb into bed. You found your place at his side quickly. It was muscle memory to link your leg with his and set your head on his chest no matter how tired you were. "You're the most handsome, wonderful, perfect man I could have ever asked for Jimmy Darling, and don't you forget it!"

“It’s time for sleep now, doll,” he whispered, burying his face in your hair and wrapping his arms around you, “There’s plenty of time to talk about how wonderful you think I am in the morning,” The smile on his face was clear from the tone of his voice, but you heeded his words, quickly falling into a dreamless sleep while he protected you from the rest of the world.

Things weren’t perfect. You would still wake up the next day and watch the man you loved leave as both of you sold your very bodies in search of an impossible dream for the future, but that was okay. As long as Jimmy was by your side, everything would be.

--------

a/n: I hope you enjoyed this fic! I intended for it to be a short drabble where I could practice writing for jimmy, but in the end I’m really happy with how it turned out. This is, genuinely, something I’m really proud of, so please let me know if you liked it. Thank you so much for supporting me!!!

[imagine-that]

Gone

Pairing: Alex Karev x reader

Warnings: ANGST! Mentions of abandonment, spoilers for season 16 episode 16

Your heart pounded against your chest as you opened the crisply folded letter with shaking fingers.

You could still remember the last time you spoke to him, the last words you shared. You were so scared he was hurt or dead or something in the past week. The letter was a relief but the idea of getting that instead of his typical lengths of communication like a text or phone call was unnerving.

“Dr y/l/n?” You heard Owen calling to you but your ears were ringing too strongly to focus on his words.

You were on his service for the day but this was immediately trumping any form of work you were supposed to be getting to.

“Y/n,

I’m not good with words. I never have been, as I know you know. So I’m just going to start out with it. I’m not beating around the bush on this one. I am in Kansas with Izzie. I know it may come as a shock or betrayal or something like that but it’s the truth. When I was reaching out to people for Mer’s hearing, I called her. A little girl answered and I had no idea why. It didn’t register at first. But then she gave Izzie the phone. Izzie was shocked to hear from me but she quickly told me about our kids. Ours. I’m a father. I never realized how much I wanted that until it was a reality. I went out here to meet them and I just can’t bring myself to leave them or to come back. The minute I looked at those big brown eyes of my little boy, I was a goner. I will always love you, more than you could possibly ever know. You’re the greatest love of my life and for that I will always thank you. I wish it didn’t have to go like this. It shouldn’t go like this. You’ve been there for me since the Dr Evil Spawn days and I’m a shit guy for not being able to say the same. I’ve left my share of the hospital and my seat on the board in your name. I know that can’t make up for this but it’s the best I’ve got. I love you. But I’m still in love with Izzie. I hope someday you’ll forgive me. I hope someday you’ll be happier than I ever could’ve possibly made you.

Alex.”

You drop the letter on the table, your eyes glistening with unshed tears, your hand covering your open mouth as a small sob escapes.

You felt more naive than ever, thinking he was just visiting his mom. Thinking he was coming back for you, coming back TO you. Your mind swirled with random things you might’ve missed, that he might’ve done or said that could tip you off.

“Y/l/n!” Hunt repeated louder, bringing you back to your senses.

“What?!” You snap, turning your tearful gaze to him.

“Are you ready to prep for our surgery or not goddamnit?” He demands. You jump out of your chair, no longer feeling like you can stay sitting down.

“No I’m not.” You mutter, running your hands through your hair.

“Did you just say you’re unprepared for a surgery we’ve had on the board since yesterday y/l/n?!” He asks, bewildered by your response.

“Yes, yes I did! And before you say anything more on the subject, it isn’t because I didn’t study long and hard or because I got drunk last night and am hungover because I’m not! It’s because I just found out my boyfriend, the absolute love of my fucking life is gone! He left me for his ex and her secret kids! I am officially alone and I can’t bear it, I can’t even breathe! The one person who matters to me is gone, without so much as a proper goodbye! So ask someone else to scrub in just this one time, for the patients sake and my own Hunt.” You cry out, your eyes stinging with tears.

He reaches over to comfort you, unsure what else to do but you hold out your hands to stop him.

“Focus on the patient Hunt. She needs you more than I do.” You instruct, blinking away the tears to try and lower his concern.

He takes a moment but finally he leaves, making sure the door shuts behind him for you.

As you hear the hinges settle, you fall the the floor in an emotional fit. Your hands rest on your head, running through your hair. The room is silent, all except for your loud sobbing.

You hiccup, trying to catch your breath, trying to find the will to get up and get back to anything.

Soon, the door opens and you gasp for air, trying to regain calmness for whoever it was.

“Save the acting job y/l/n, I just read a letter from Alex Karev handing in his resignation and came right down here. Get over here.” Bailey orders, holding her arms wide open.

You scramble to your feet, not wasting any time in getting into her hug. She holds you, rubbing your back soothingly as you cry into her shoulder.

“He-he said he’d never- never leave me.” You stammer between hiccups. “He- he promised me!” You sob, letting all your unsaid words fall out of your mouth for Bailey to hear.

“I know y/n, I know.” She says, patting down your hair.

You start to catch your breath a bit, pulling away from her and crossing your arms over your chest.

“I kind of made a mess of your sweater, I’m so sorry chief Bailey.” You mutter, staring down at your simple white shoes in shame.

“Oh please, it can be washed. You feel free to let it all out if you need to.” She dismisses, smiling sadly at you.

Suddenly your pager buzzed. With a sniffle, you checked it quickly and pulled your hair back, quickly blowing your nose and wiping your eyes afterwards.

“And where do you think you’re going?” Bailey asks, eyeing you.

“That was Dr Hunt, he needs me down in the pit while he’s in surgery.” You explain, sniffling a little more.

“Oh no. Nuh uh. You’ll send an intern for that. I’m calling Wilson up here and she’s going to take you home.” She orders.

“Bailey, I’m fine. Really.” You promise her but you both know you’re lying.

“No.” She says sternly. “Stay here!” She orders, walking out into the hallway.

It doesn’t take her long to spot Jo walking down the hall. She brings her in to the room and shuts the door.

“I trust you’ll be very, VERY discreet with this Wilson.” She warns, walking off to order someone else around.

“What’s happening?” Jo asks, obviously very confused.

Too tired and emotionally distraught to explain, you simply point at the letter laying on the table.

She skims it over and without a word, envelopes you in a strong hug.

“Wilson, I can’t breathe.” You sigh quietly.

“Sorry. It’s just- you two were perfect together. You were the perfect example of a healthy, happy couple. I thought- everyone thought you two were soulmates.” She rambles.

“Well everyone thought wrong, he loves someone else. Would you please drive me ho- to Avery’s? I just- I can’t be at home right now. I can hardly call that place home without him...” You plead, getting teary eyes all over again.

“Of course! Let’s go, I just have to change out of my scrubs. You probably should too.” She suggests but you shake your head.

The clothes you’d worn to work that day held memories. Alex had given you the shirt for your Christmas present a few years ago when he’d been too stupid to think of something meaningful. The shoes were ones you’d worn on your first official date. The jeans were the ones you’d worn the first day of intern year, the first day you’d met him.

There was no possible way you could put any of them on without your entire body aching and longing for his touch.

“Ok, ok. I’ll meet you in the lobby. Just one second.” She orders, leaving the room.

You stand there for a moment, hugging your arms around yourself.

When Jo returns, Avery’s with her.

“What is it y/n, I was about to head into a surgery.” He says impatiently.

You give Jo a tired warning look, to which she responds with a sympathetic, sad smile.

“Alex left. He isn’t coming back.” You sigh hoarsely.

He looks completely shocked, blinking at you for a second.

“Are- are you ok? What do you need?” He asks, rushing to your side.

“I’m fine just- is it ok if I stay at yours?” You ask, biting down on your thumbnail absentmindedly.

“Of course! Stay as long as you need, you have a key right?” He says, looking even more concerned than before. You simply nod.

“I’m gonna give y/n a ride over there then but could you go down to the lobby with him/her/them and just stay there while I change? No one should have to be alone if something like this happens.” Jo explains.

You numbly grab your pager off the table along with the letter and follow Avery down to the lockers where you quickly grab your things, barely glancing at them as you do so.

He leads the way to the lobby wearily, acting far over protective of you.

You stand in silence staring at your shoes, practically enough to burn holes into them. Few people try to stop and ask questions but when they do, Jackson puts a stop to it with a simple look.

Soon Jo rejoins you and takes your arm, leading you to her car in the parking lot. Avery says goodbye but you don’t respond, too scared to speak.

You sit in the passenger seat and stare out the window at the Seattle night scene, feeling more empty than you ever had in your entire life.

——————————————————

6 months later...

You wearily let your knuckle tap the door a few times, fidgeting with your bare right ring finger. Not long ago, a silver ring had a place there. Not long ago, the person who presented you with that ring had his arms around you, smiling softly at you. That smile continued to haunt your dreams, your mind, your everything.

Maybe what you were doing was a bad idea. You knew that. But you needed it. It was like an itch, you couldn’t not scratch it.

A perky looking blonde opened the door and you didn’t even have to look at her to know who it was. Her long hair was in a perfect ponytail, she wore an apron covered in flour and had a little girl attached to her leg.

“Hi, how can I help you?” She asked with a friendly smile.

“Izzie I presume?” You say, gritting your teeth and cursing yourself for your idiotic decision to come out here.

“Yes? Do I know you?” She asks, clearly puzzled.

“No I guess not. I uh... I started at Grey-Sloan the same year as you. As an intern.” You explain vaguely, feeling too cowardly to go any deeper into detail.

The little girl peers up at you, clearly very curious. It’s enough to make you want to run away, never look back.

“Alexis honey, go find daddy and tell him he has a visitor.” She tells the small girl. She nods up to her, running off with a big smile.

The blonde eyes you up and down and you nervously rub your hand up and down your arm, trying to figure out what to do with your hands.

“Izzie who’s at the do-.” A painfully familiar voice starts, his mouth agape as your eyes meet.

“Hi.” You say sheepishly.

“Y/n...” He says, more like a statement than anything else.

“Daddy who’s your friend? She’s/he’s/they’re real pretty.” The little girl says with a shy grin.

You smile at her a bit, trying to keep from crying again.

“Thank you. So are you.” You reply with a forced smile.

“Kids go with your mom and help her with the cookies. Daddy and his friend need to talk.” Alex says, his eyes never leaving your face.

Izzie watches you both for a moment, hesitant to leave you alone until Alex gives her a pleading look and she takes each kid into their extravagant kitchen.

“Let’s um... let’s go and talk outside.” He suggests, rubbing the back of his neck. You don’t say another word and you follow him out to the yard, sitting down with him.

“How did you even find out where I live?” He asked after a moment of uncomfortable silence.

“Well, I first considered paying a PI to track you down. I wanted to make you feel even a fraction of what I felt.” You admit honestly.

He nods but completely avoids all eye contact.

“But then Meredith told me you gave her the address in your letter to her. That you invited her to meet your kids.” You add, kicking your feet around to distract yourself.

“Those letters must’ve arrived pretty late, I sent them over 6 months ago.” He mutters, biting at his index finger.

“No... they got there then. I just- I couldn’t bring myself to come out here and make a damn fool of myself.” You respond, biting your bottom lip. “Kind of like I’m doing now.” You add under your breath.

“Y/n, why are you here?” He asks, finally meeting your eyes with his own.

“Well evil spawn,” you start off and he does the half grin that makes your head spin every time, even now. “I had to see you. I had to see what it was you- you left me for.” You admit with a gulp.

“Y/n-“ he says but you shake your head.

“No. Let me finish. Please.” You whisper, your eyes watering again. He nods for you to proceed. “When I met you, that first day of intern year, you were a complete ass. Charming, funny but a complete ass. I got to know you and I fell for you, fell hard. My heart practically beat just for you. When you left... I was devastated. I didn’t know how I could live. I didn’t know how I could do what I love and work with all these kids, some of which you treated their entire lives.” You explain.

“Y/n I never meant to hurt you.” He promises, gulping down a lump in his throat.

“Don’t you think I know that?” You ask with a sad laugh. “God, I know you would never mean to. But I just- we have this... this story. I loved you. I loved you with everything I had and I just- your shares and your seat don’t make up for those years of love and memories I have. That WE have.” You say, tears streaming down your face.

“I remember the first time we were in the on call room together and you were already asleep and I came in and turned on the lights and you were so angry until you looked up and saw it was me. You started flirting, suggesting we share a bed to keep room for other Doctors. You actually fell off that bunk and said ‘guess I really fell for you huh’. That was the first day you made me smile the way you always did. It was the first time I took any kind of liking to you whatsoever.” You go on, smiling sadly at the past.

“I remember that. I had a bump on my damn head for weeks but it was worth the headache to see you smile like that at me. Because of me.” He chuckles.

“Yeah. I know, you kept trying to tell people it was because I was a freak in bed.” You roll your eyes at the thought that the man in front of you would ever say something like that.

“Anyway, my point is that I have all these great memories and experiences. But they’re all tainted with this one thing.” You sigh, staring at the gravel road.

“I’m not in love with Izzie.” He blurts, making your head shoot up to face him. “I don’t... I don’t know why I said I was in that letter. I think it was just to make it hurt so you wouldn’t hunt me down.” He continues.

“You always have liked keeping people at arms length.” You murmur.

“That’s not fair, you know it isn’t.” He exclaims in defence.

“I don’t even know what fair is anymore Alex! You took that from me too when you left!” You cry back. “You left me! You took off, taking everything of me with you. My dignity included. I cried, no I sobbed in front of Miranda Bailey, my boss! I cried in front of her and all over her scrubs! I can’t even enter my own home! It’s been 6 whole months but I can’t bring myself to go back in that loft because it will drown me and I won’t be able to come up for air Alex!” You shout.

He looks to the ground, keeping his distance and not speaking.

“And Alex? That feeling? It hurts. It hurts so damn much, I ache all over trying to control it, trying to stop it. My body, my heart, everything aches for you even now and I can’t do a thing about it.” You continue, too worked up to stop.

“You left me stranded with not so much as a proper goodbye. THAT is why I am here. I need at least some fraction of myself back.” You say quietly.

“I love you y/n. Like I said in the letter, I always will.” He says sheepishly, pursing his lips as he stares down the ground.

“What, you think that letter of all things helps me or even helps you? It doesn’t.” You mumble.

“What else do I say exactly. That I miss you? Because I do. I miss you like crazy. But I can’t- I cannot leave my kids.” He sighs.

“I’m not asking you to. I’m not asking you to come back either. I’m not asking for anything. I just needed to say SOMETHING to you. I needed this for myself. It might be selfish or stupid considering you didn’t give me permission to come here like you did for Mer but I honestly don’t care.” You rant.

“Y/n, you’re kidding me right? I’m the selfish one here! I’m the one who made an idiot of myself, leaving the people I know, the people I love for this.” He exclaims, hand running down his head. “I mean I love those kids with everything I’ve got but I don’t belong here. I’ve tried to make it work with her but it’s become even more abundantly clear that she and I never have and never will work.” He admits.

You look at him, wide eyes, taking in everything he just said. You could feel yourself trying to resist him, trying to ignore the way he still looked at you like you were the only person in the world.

“I should’ve never left.” He mutters, head in his hands.

“Alex-.” You start, not wanting to hear the words you knew he would say, that you know would make you weak in the knees.

“No y/n, for real. It was stupid of me to think I could just abandon everything I cared about to move here.” He mutters, running his hand down his jawline.

You sit in silence for a moment, trying to process.

“You’re right. It was stupid.” You agree, avoiding his eyes. “But it’s a little late now. You have kids Alex. They... they depend on you. You can’t just leave that.” You say with a sad smile his way.

“I wouldn’t have to! The kids, they would love Seattle. And everyone there would love them! Not to mention, they would absolutely adore you y/n. Just like I do.” He says excitedly.

“Alex... Something tells me that Izzie would never be ok with that. And we both know with your situation she would win a custody battle. Not to mention the fact that you shouldn’t put them through that in the first place.” You argue.

“God, you’re right. You’re always right y/n. It’s annoying how much you’re right about things.” He groans.

You laugh a bit, getting to your feet.

“And it’s funny how wrong but cocky you always are.” You counter, giving him a goofy smile.

“I didn’t realize how much I’ve missed seeing that smile until you were already thoroughly pissed at me.” He laughs.

“I was not THOROUGHLY pissed at you...” You say and he raises an eyebrow.

“That’s not what Mer told me.” He teases and you blush pink.

“Fine I was practically throwing darts at your picture. But I got over it. Eventually.” You grumble

He nods, clearly understanding why you would have been angry. You already knew him well enough to know he would be just as angry at himself as you were.

“You know the reason I didn’t give you the address right?” He asks suddenly, his head bolting up out of his hands. You shake your head no and he starts to chuckle a bit, the half grin spread across his face. “I uh... I already knew that if I did, you would storm your way down here to yell at me and I would’ve taken one look into those big, beautiful y/e/c eyes of yours, I would never be able to stay here. I should’ve known this was a bad idea from just that alone. I’m in love with YOU. Izzie may be the mother of my children but you are the love of my life. I wish I’d never left you.” He reveals.

“I really mean that much to you Karev?” You ask, biting at your lip unsurely.

He looks at you as if you’ve lost your mind. “Of course you do y/n. You always have and I already know you always will. You’re my world, even now. Just the idea of you moving on drives me insane, no matter how selfish it is for me to say.” He rants.

This time, you can’t control your emotions or your movements. You go up to him and grab him gently by the back of his neck, pulling him in and smashing your lips on his. He immediately gives in, grabbing at your back and pulling you even closer, as though he was scared to let go.

You pull away, stopping yourself and him from going any further.

“I’d say that was the most proper our kind of goodbye could get.” You say quietly, touching a finger to your lips as you slowly step backwards, moving away from Alex.

“Y/n!” He tries to stop you but you’re already on a sprint down the driveway, not wanting to mess things up for his family anymore than you felt you already had.

And with that, you ran from the love of your life, not even looking back to see if he was chasing you this time or not.

[kathrynalicemc]

Harry Potter Golden Era MC Profile

Identity

Name: Mariko Krei

Gender: Female

Age: 16 (year 6)

Birth Date: April 2nd, 1980

Species: Human

Blood Status: Half Blood

Sexuality: Lesbian

Ethnicity: Japanese/Caucasian mix

Nationality: Japanese, American, British

Residence: Cambridge, England

The Mage

Wand: Beech wood, Phoenix feather core

“The true match for a beech wand will be, if young, wise beyond his or her years, and if full-grown, rich in understanding and experience. Beech wands perform very weakly for the narrow-minded and intolerant. Such wizards and witches, having obtained a beech wand without having been suitably matched (yet coveting this most desirable, richly hued and highly prized wand wood), have often presented themselves at the homes of learned wandmakers such as myself, demanding to know the reason for their handsome wand’s lack of power. When properly matched, the beech wand is capable of a subtlety and artistry rarely seen in any other wood, hence its lustrous reputation.”

Animagus: None

Misc Magical Abilities: Talented in wandless magic

Boggart Form: Being all alone without a family

Riddikulus Form: All her family and friends suddenly jumping out from hiding places and yelling surprise

Amortentia: Tea, parchment, rain, cherry blossoms, a perfume that seems familiar that she can’t place

Patronus: Red Crowned Crane

Patronus Memory: Walking down a street in Japan as a child with her father as cherry blossom petals fall all around her, with vague blurry shapes of two other people nearby

Mirror of Erised: A hazy silhouette of what looks like a woman and a teenage boy who she doesn’t recognize

Specialized/Favourite Spells: She loves practicing wandless magic in combination with her martial arts skills. Specifically using wingardium leviosa to make leaves and flowers float in the air. She does it as a sort of meditation

Appearance

Faceclaim: Sakura Heffron

Game Appearance: N/A

Height: 5’9”

Physique: Tall, athletic, graceful

Eye Colour: Brown

Hair Colour: Black

Skin Tone: Pale

Body Modifications: She has freckles mainly on her nose and a few on her cheeks.

Scarring: N/A

Inventory: Some Japanese ink brushes she uses instead of quills, her wand, keys to her 1966 Arcadian Blue Mustang (when old enough), a tiny cherry blossom branch encased in resin she can’t remember when she got, biker jacket

Allegiances

Hogwarts House: Ravenclaw

Mahoutokoro House (if she went): Shunrai

Affiliations/Organizations:

Hogwarts

Dumbledore’s Army

Professions: unsure yet

Hogwarts Information

Quidditch: Keeper

Extra Curricular: Chess club, Frog choir, Martial Arts

Favourite Professors: Flitwick, Mcgonagall

Least Favourite Professors: Snape obv

Relationships

Father: Dorian Aloysius Krei

Fc: Robert Downey Junior

-Half Blood wizard

-Works as a Chemistry professor at various Muggle Universities

-Has taught in Japan, San Francisco, England

-A huge nerd

-Kind and goofy

-Supportive of his daughter

Mother: Ume Nakai

Fc: -

-Pureblood

-House: Seiran

-Works as a Samurai/Hit Witch for the Japan Ministry

-Uses magic and martial arts to track down and handle dangerous dark arts users

-Upholds the Japan Ministries Codes: Don’t use dark arts, don’t break the statute of secrecy

-Very skilled in martial arts

-Protective of her family

Brother: Jomei Nakai

Fc: -

-House: Yosamu

-Older than Mariko by 10 years

-Decides to join his mother as a Samurai/Hit Wizard when he graduates Mahoutokoro

-Gentle and intelligent

-Good at reading others emotions

-Looks after his mother because he knows she misses her husband and daughter

-Good magic dueler

Love Interest: Luna Lovegood

Dormmates: Padma Patil, Sue Li, Cho Chang

Pets: A bowtruckle she found in a tree by the lake. She named it Kijin meaning tree spirit

Closest Canon Friends: Luna, Ginny, Hermione, Neville, Fred & George

Closest MC Friends: Lara Fairbourne, Mal Ridley, Aimee Alice

Background/History

Dorian Krei got a job as a Chemistry professor at Tohoku University after graduating from Ilvermorny. He was interested in alchemy but wanted more knowledge so he decided to get a Muggle job and education. Living in Japan he eventually met Ume Nakai and after a few years they got married and had Jomei. Ume was the Japanese equivalent of a Hit Witch. Her job was dangerous and their family was usually at risk from vengeful dark wizards. They decided it was best to not have any more kids. However, 10 years later they accidentally had Mariko.

Disaster struck when Mariko was 6. In the middle of the night a Dark Wizard that Ume had arrested broke out of prison and into their house. He tried to kill the family but Ume and Jomei fought him off, being forced to kill him in front of Mariko and Dorian. Afraid it would happen again, Ume tells Dorian to take Mariko and move away to protect them as Dorian isn’t a fighter and Mariko is too young. Jomei refuses to leave his mom all alone and decides to become a Hit Wizard as he had just graduated from Mahoutokoro and was a very good fighter.

Mariko was too young to understand and was very upset when told she had to leave with her dad so Ume obliviated her memories of herself and her brother. Dorian was against this and tried to argue but Ume said it would help protect her. Dorian moved back to his hometown San Francisco and transferred to the University there. He raised his daughter as if her mom had died when she was a baby. He despised lying to her but knew she was happy and healthy. Before Mariko turned 11, Dorian got a job offer at Cambridge and they moved to England. Mariko started school at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry in 1991, the same year as Harry Potter.

Personality

-She’s very kind and warm to people

-Curious of the world around her

-Intelligent and seeks to learn new things but doesn’t like to show her intelligence off

-Helps others

-Will fight for her freedom to choose and have control of her own life

-Admires her father but doesn’t want to take over his business

-Won’t be told how to be or what to like

-Loves excitement and adventure which can get her in trouble

-Feels like she needs to keep her dad happy because he’s sometimes quiet and sad

-Active and trains her body as well as her mind

Misc

-Mariko means “truth”

-Mariko names her bowtruckle Kijin. Ki means “tree” and Jin means “spirit”

-She’s born in April when cherry blossoms bloom

-She was brought up bilingual and knows both English and Japanese

-Mariko can see thestrals and it scares and intrigues her because it means she has seen death she doesn’t remember

-She doesn’t know that Dorian and Ume keep in contact with letters

-She will eventually run into her mom and brother during the Battle of Hogwarts and have her memory restored

-Dorian and Mariko use Dorians last name while Ume and Jomei use Umes last name

[peakyxtommy]

Not So Little - Thomas Shelby x Daughter X Wife!Reader

Summary: Tommy’s Reaction to Daughter Christmas dress and his feelings toward her growing up. (This was requested!) 

A/N: Thank you so much to whoever sent this request. It made my day and I was so happy and excited to write this as soon as I came home from work. I hope you enjoy this!! The first half is in Reader’s POV and then Daughter’s POV. 

It was the annual Shelby Christmas party at yours and Tommy’s home. It took lots of time preparing and planning but it was always a joyous evening to have. The kids really enjoyed themselves, so this year was no different with taking them out to get the perfect outfit for the occasion. As your daughter grew older, the more she thought about her choice of fashion and style. 

This year was the very first year you let her pick out her own dress, deciding she was old enough to make the decision as she was going to be turning 16 in a couple of months. She was very excited about the decision and thanked you profusely. It was the happiest you had seen her in a while as she was becoming stressed with her studies and managing her social life that came with school and your father being a politician and a gangster. 

Tonight was the special night for the Christmas party. You had gotten your youngest boys 8 and 5 ready for the party. Then sent them on their way down stairs to play with a few of their cousins that arrived early. Tom was downstairs making sure everything was in order as you continued getting ready. It had been a while since you had gotten dressed up and were glad as well to look a little different then normal. 

As you sit at your vanity finishing up your hairstyle of the evening, you hear a quick knock at the door. 

“Come in.” You respond watching as the door swings open, only to be close to just a crack. As your daughter came in with her red lace dress and white stocking and black heels to you in a hurry. 

“Mom, I need to borrow your red lipstick to complete my look.” She speaks with joy as you take in how much older she had gotten since she was a little girl. She was smart and clever like her father but sensitive like you. She also knew how to hold her own most of the time. 

“Sure my love, let me go through my bag.” As you go through your bag, you hear the door open yet again, to reveal your husband. Wearing a three piece suit and a gold arm chain, glasses on, and black shoes to complete the outfit. 

“What’s going on here?” He asks as your daughter turns around to face her father.

“Just getting some lipstick from mum. Do you like my dress dad?” Your daughter responds to her father’s question with excitement. As you watch his face fall into a scowl and face slowly becoming red. 

“You need to go change right now young lady!” He shouts, pointing his finger at her. He goes to close the door, to keep the conversation private. Pinching the bridge of his nose on the way back to hold his actual temper. 

“Why dad? Mom let me pick it out! I really love this dress. I am not a little girl anymore!”

“Yes, you are! If you live under my roof, you follow my rules!” 

“Enough!” You  shout, making all eyes land on you.

“Gemma, darling, take the lipstick and finish getting ready. Put a black sweater on over your dress, okay. I’ll come check on you in a few minutes.” Your daughter takes the lipstick with a pout on her face and walks out the room with her face toward the ground, not daring to look her father in his eyes. Her shoulders slouch down as the door closes loudly behind her. It leaves the room echoing in silence as it was just you and Tommy now. 

 “You had no right, Thomas to do what you did just now. Especially on a night like tonight. You should be ashamed of yourself.” You yell pointing your finger at your husband in anger as he continues to stand his ground. 

“(Y/N), she’s only a child. She shouldn’t be dressing like that. It’ll get her all the wrong attention. Why did you let her make the choice anyway?” He huffs, going to take a seat on the bed. 

“Tommy, you and I both know that’s not fully true. She’s going to be 16 in a couple of months. She is becoming a woman now and we need to support her in making her own decisions and choices. I let her have this dress, because if you could’ve seen her face and confidence when she came out the dressing room, you would feel the same. It’s the happiest I've seen her in a while since she began this semester. You took that all away right now with the choice of your words and actions.” You watch as his face crumbles. Now realizing the weight of his words on his daughter, not only making her upset but now you. You come to sit next to your husband who continues to look at the floor lost in thought. 

“What’s really bugging you, hun?” You speak into his ear, fingers running through his hair.

“I’m scared.” He mumbles and you almost miss it.

“Scared of what Tom?” 

“She’s not going to be a little girl anymore. That I can’t protect her from this cruel world more than I have already tried. She’s going to get her heart broken and she’s going to leave us one day. I’m not ready to let her go.” He finally shows his blue irises to you and you can tell he’s getting emotional as a tear appears in his eye, fighting it’s way back down. 

“Love, she’ll always be your little girl. You are her first love and she’ll always need her dad. You’ve been a great dad, even with your flaws. We both know she’s a smart girl and is focused with her head in the books. She can take care of herself. We’ve raised her well. 

Yes, she’s going to get her heartbroken. We’ve had our share of heartbreak but it brings us here. Yes, she’s going to leave, but she’ll always come back to us. It scares me too if I dwell on it too much, but I trust her fully Tommy. You should too and even when she messes up, because she will.” You press a kiss against his temple, taking his face into your hand, making your faces meet to stare into each other's eyes. You could tell your words helped him, as his eyes shone with devotion for only you. 

“Don’t know how I got so lucky for ya to be my wife.” He kisses you sweetly on the lips for a moment. 

“I love being your wife Mr.Shelby. I am lucky too. You still owe our daughter an apology though.” You peck his lips one last time before making your way back to the vanity. 

“Yes, Mrs. Shelby.” He nods curtly and makes his way toward the door. 

“Tom, I love you.” You speak as his hand twists around the gold knob, to open it.

“I love you too (Y/N).” He smiles at you as he leaves to find your daughter. 

-

He knocks at the wooden door, hearing her small voice answer. He enters to find her sitting on her bed staring at the ceiling. Her head picks up to see who is at the door and goes back down and body turns toward the wall in the opposite direction.

“I know you’re angry Gemma. You have every right to be.” He speaks, taking a seat in the chair at his daughter’s vanity as she continues to ignore him.

“I came to apologize. I’m really sorry lovie, for the way I acted and responded toward you. You looked very beautiful in the dress and I'm proud of you for making your own choice.” He speaks, hand rubbing the back of his neck in nervousness. He still wasn’t one for apologizing or being vulnerable. With having kids, even after all these years, it was still hard for him, but he knew it was important as well. 

“Then why say it at all?” She responds to him. He takes a moment to think about his words carefully before coming around to her bed to look her directly in the eyes. Bending down to meet her at her level. She looks anywhere except his eyes. 

“I’m going to let you in on a little secret. Your dad gets scared sometimes. I am scared about you growing up.  I remember when your mother told me she was pregnant with you, the first thing I felt was fear but also excitement. I was excited to meet you before I even got to know you. As soon as you were born, I held you for the first time, I became a changed man. 

You are my little girl and it’s my job to protect you. It scares me to watch you grow into the beautiful and smart young lady you are, but I need to let you grow to be yourself.” She takes a minute to soak in her father’s words towards her. Accepting them as the truth and his love. 

“I love you Gemma. I’m always going to and nothing will ever change that. I will always support you and try my best to get better at holding my temper and letting you grow.” He speaks, taking a seat on the bed as she comes to sit up on the bed facing him. 

“Thank you dad, I accept your apology. I’ll always be your little girl. I love you.” She speaks, giving him a long hug as he presses a kiss to the crown of her head. 

Unbeknownst to them, you were standing listening through the crack in the door at their interaction. Proud of them both and couldn’t imagine life without the two of them. The love in your heart multiplying. 

“Who’s ready to party?” You make yourself known as they both stand. 

“How long were you there?” Tom questions, as you daughter chuckles, coming to give you a hug.

“Long enough, now let’s go. We’re due for some fun tonight.” 

“That we are.” Tom takes your hands in his, kissing your cheek. As the three of you make your way down stairs to join the chaos of the party. Having a fun and memorable evening.

Taglist:

@captivatedbycillianmurphy

[aangs-surrounding-love]

My take on Aang’s trauma:

Alrighty everyone this is going to be a long one. I’ll do my best to only include the more important parts of Aang’s actions that I think reflect his trauma. Also, moments that I think reflect his trauma. Actually, I don’t really know if I can directly categorize this post but let’s just say this is very Aang-centric and somewhat of Aang-defense. Aang-protection? Feh-I’ll start.

In season 1 episode 1: The Boy In The Iceberg we see that Aang is briefly told that no one has seen an airbender in 100 years. We can see a tiny bit of shock but what happens next is that the topic is dissed and they move on. Aang doesn’t yet know what happened. But that small little face of shock and confusion always gets me.

Season 1 Episode 2: When Aang finds out he was stuck for 100 years, a war broke out, and his people were very likely killed, he looks on the bright side and looks to Katara saying, “I did get to meet you.”

When they find out he’s the avatar everyone is like, no wayyyy. He still offers himself up to protect the tribe.

Why didn’t he tell them? “Because I never wanted to be” is 100% a valid answer. He was scared. He thought that they’d push him away as his friends did at the temple. Or maybe send him away like the leaders wanted to do to him. (Although Sokka did banish Aang, it wasn’t because of his title and because he put the tribe at risk so it doesn’t exactly count)

Season 1 episode 3: The Southern Airtemple. “We’re home, buddy. We’re home.” Aang says to Appa. Something about this seems like a nostalgic moment. He left on bad terms and now he’s back seeing it 100 years later, hopeful.

He looks for all the old things that made him happy. Air ball, Gyatso’s statue, searching for people. (The little fruit pie flash-back)

He goes to the statue room and looks for answers. He meets Momo. However, when Aang and Sokka start chasing Momo I see Aang tearing up when he’s jumping down the cliffside. My take on this isn’t because he’s falling down at such a velocity that he starts crying, my take is that it’s because it’s his first chance to reveal that there’s hope that some of the Air Nation survived and that Aang isn’t alone.

Aang discovers Gyatso’s skeleton and goes into the Avatar State. His major hopes have been diminished.

He says to Momo, “You, me, and Appa, we’re that’s left of this place now. We have to stick together.” It’s so sad. They’re the only parts of the Air Nation that are alive. They don’t have anything left of the air nation and that’s why they need each other; they need to stay together.

At the closing of the episode, we see Aang and Momo flying away from the temple on Appa. Aang's face is so somber like he’s watching his happy memories diminish. Like the nostalgia being wiped away directly in front of him.

Season 1 Episode 5: The King of Omashu. This one is more of fine detail, but to me, it’s still very important and needs to be mentioned more. At the end of the episode, when Aang figures out it was Bumi, his old friend, you can see little tears welling in his eyelids. My understanding makes me think that Aang was tearing up because he sees someone who isn’t dead. The tears are of relief because to Aang, maybe not everyone is gone. His childhood isn’t over, Aang can still be a kid. Because the reason Gyatso was protecting Aang was that he wanted Aang to have a childhood. Although it was stripped away, this gave Aang another chance to have fun intentionally. Another sign that his childhood isn’t completely over.

Season 1 episodes 7-8: Winter Solstice Part 1: The Spirit World and Winter Solstice Part 2: Avatar Roku. In the first part, we meet a village. Aang tries to help them by saying, “I have to try” my legendary overthinking and analysis makes me believe that Aang truly wants to help these people already, but also that as the Avatar he wants to make up for the lost time he was stuck. He feels the burden he afflicted on the world.

His ability to relate to Hei Bai. Aang felt terrible about the woods and trees that were burnt down. It’s the empathy the made Hei Bai Aang’s friend. The compassion that Aang brings is truly amazing.

Part 2: Avatar Roku. Okay, so he wants to go alone because he doesn’t want Katara or Sokka to get hurt. My take on this is not only are they friends, but he also doesn’t want another one of his actions affecting the casualties of the war.

Season 1 Episode 12: The Storm. This episode is great. We get his backstory. We see why he ran away. We see what causes him to get stuck. And we get to see him upset. We see his guilt. “My people needed me, and I wasn’t there to help.” Followed by, “the WORLD needed me, and I wasn’t there to help.”

“How could they do that to me? They wanted to take away everything I knew and everyone I’ve ever loved!” This quote digs deep. Not only is Aang angry, but this takes a play on how he reacts to people and how he responds to people. He wanted to be a normal kid. (I’ll bring this back later)

Earlier in this episode, there’s this fisherman who was blaming him, so I’m in the cave Aang says, “the fisherman was right. I DID turn my back on the world.” He knows what he did was wrong and he saw the consequences. He ran away, and now that he faced the consequences, he actively wants to change and become better. He’s learning from his actions.

Season 1 episode 13: The Blue Spirt. Admiral Zhao says to Aang, “tell me, how does it feel to be the only airbender left? Do you miss your people?” Not only is this said in such a vile, evil way, we see Aang’s face which changes from being angry and upset with Adm. Zhao, we see that it changes to ashamed and guilt ridden. Actually, it kinda looks like Aang wanted to talk back to him, but he needed a moment. He needed that moment to take in what Zhao said.

Aang finds out that the Blue Spirit (the person wearing the mask) is Zuko. Aang was going to leave him there, to get caught by Admiral Zhao, but Aang instead takes him to safety. And may I mention that Aang made him a little leaf bed? Anyway, he stays with Zuko until he wakes up. Aang was talking about they could be friends and that one of his best friends was from the Fire Nation. I think not leaving Zuko behind shows both how Aang does his best to no longer leave people behind and to try to bring the best out of Zuko.

Season 1 episode 15: Bato of the Water Tribe. Aang takes the map to guide them to Hakoda for himself out of fear that Sokka and Katara would leave him. Though it was a bad decision, the thing is he didn’t think he could handle being alone. He was alone enough as it is. His people were gone and his friends (excluding Bumi) were gone or dead as well. So having to trek to the NWT alone would be a continuous reflection of his actions and would likely send him down on a more hateful path.

Season 1 Episode 16: The Deserter. Aang wants to learn the elements as fast as possible, even if it means doing it irregularly. He also is unsure whether he’ll ever get the chance to learn firebending again after he learns the other elements. So he starts to learn firebending from Jeong Jeong. He wants to make up for lost time which is another reason for this decision.

He hurts Katara and becomes afraid of handling fire and vows to be more careful with it in the future. (I will bring this up again later)

Season 1 Episode 17: The Northern Air temple. Aang sees that the northern Air temple became inhabited by people and they built pipes and other things that ruined the temple. They destroyed the temple and there wasn’t anything left that remained the same. When he saw the wrecking ball machine, he rightfully knocked it away for “destroying something sacred”. It was the last place that remained unaffected by modernization and industrialization then it was knocked over, right in front of him. So my take on this is a question within itself: if you loved something that was deeply close to you like a relic, something important, something that’s the only thing left of your family, got destroyed right in front of you, how would you feel? The answer would probably be pretty freaking upset.

Season 1 episode 19: The Siege of the North: part 1. Starting with part 1, the fire nation comes to the northern water tribe and the fight begins. Before the fight begins, Aang says, “I wasn’t there when the Fire Nation attacked my people. I’m going to make a difference this time.” He wants what’s best for the world, he’s going to stay. He isn’t going to run this time, he’s going to fight of the sake for the world, for the sake of the future. Still, the look on his face when he says that, it’s guilt plastered all over. The guilt is also shown with a determination to make his difference.

Aang flies out on Appa to try to prevent further damage by taking out a few ships. He returns around sunset, exhausted and somewhat defeated. He says, “I’m just one kid” then buries his face in between his legs. He’s right, he is one kid. The avatar, yes, a kid, yes. I have a feeling he’d be thinking about how massively overwhelmed his people were when the Fire Nation attacked. With the power of 500 suns, it would be disastrous. And with this, there are hundreds of ships in that fleet with hundreds more men, ready to fight.

Season 1 episode 20: The Siege of the North: Part 2. Aang returns to the spirit oasis and enters the avatar state saying, “No... It’s not over” he won’t give up on the tribe. He won’t let the Fire Nation win. Still, he isn’t running away, he chose to return to the Spirit Oasis to try to save the spirits.

Season 2 episode 1: The Avatar State. Aang’s told by General Fung that he could defeat the Fire Nation using the Avatar State. Gen. Fung manipulates Aang using Aang’s own guilt and faults to get him to try to train to turn the Avatar State on. Gen. Fung shows Aang the wounded to get him to join.

Initially, Aang doesn’t join. But he changes his mind upon further debate. During the training (well after a day of training) Katara and Aang have a long conversation about it. First, Katara tries to convince him to stop training to turn the Avatar State on but Aang refuses. Katara says, “I don’t understand.” Aang replied, “No, you don’t. Every day, more and more people die. I’m already 100 years late.” Aang’s own guilt is driving him to pursue helping everyone. Even though it wasn’t the right decision, he realizes that he needs to try everything he can to save the world.

Season 2 Episode 3: Return to Omashu. I already did my take away on Aang’s trauma for “The King of Omashu” but this will make my point stronger. Anyway, to the point. Aang goes to Bumi to learn earthbending. His old friend, the mad genius. When he arrives at Omashu, Katara, Sokka, and Aang see that Omashu was conquered by the Fire Nation. Despite Sokka trying to convince Aang to turn around, saying that there are other teachers, Aang shuts both of them down. He wants to rescue Bumi. Not only because he’s his best friend, but I think it’s the added reasons of impending guilt that he receives from leaving the Air Nation to fight on their own, and always wanting to protect his friends.

Season 2 episode 10: The Library. By goodness. Beginning of the episode. Aang is “making an orchestra”. My little headcanon is that all airbenders play an instrument and Aang chose the flute. Anyway, in this headcanon, the air nomads had a band that Aang loved to participate in. Just a little reminder he can’t be in a band surrounded by his people and wanted to make an orchestra on his own to feel happy like he would if he was around the Air Nomads.

Professor Zei calling Aang a relic. Just... terrible. That’s what he, his people, his culture surmounted to. Only a relic. An episode in time.

“We had no choice. Please. We’re desperate to protect the people we love.” This is what Aang says to Wan Shi Tong after the spirit’s anger about using the library to win a war. Aang is trying to protect the world and whoever he has left in the world. His people died. His friends before the war excluding Bumi are dead. Now all he has are his current friends, Appa, and Momo. That’s all he has left and he’s going to do anything to protect them.

Appa gets taken away. That’s it. They exit the sinking library. “Where’s Appa?” Aang asks Toph in confusion. As Toph shakes her head, humming, “mmm-mmm” Aang’s face looks so scared, so hurt. This is his best friend, his life partner to the death. His closest friend, even before the war. They have an inseparable bond and then Appa’s taken away from Aang. Aang doesn’t know if he’s alright, one of the three surviving members of the Air Nomads.

Season 2 Episode 11: The Desert. Aang is so hurt that he lashes out at Toph. His best friend and life partner were stripped from him. I could feel the pain and anger in his voice.

“I’m going to find Appa.” Aang flies away to search on his glider. Again, one of the last surviving members of the Air Nomads is gone. I will elaborate in others.

“APPA!” He calls out. He begins to tear up but sucks it down. “No... No!!!” He creates the gush of air at the ground, making the sand rise up. The complete anger is apparent.

“I’m sorry, OK? it’s a desert cloud. I did all I could.” Aang is left angry and lashes out at everyone. Aang blames Toph at first but it goes deeper than that. If Aang hadn’t gone inside, Appa could’ve been with him. Everyone could’ve gotten out of the desert.

Momo gets carried by a Buzzard-wasp. “I’m not losing anyone else out here.” If Momo was taken away that makes Aang the only one left. He’d be completely alone. And he would only have himself to blame. If he hadn’t run away... if he hadn’t gone inside the library... if he hadn’t chased and knocked the buzzard wasp down. But luckily, Aang gets Momo back.

Aang finds out that the sand benders he encountered were the ones who stole Appa. He acts appropriately and questions them. He wrecks a sand sailer. He wants his bison back. He needs Appa back.

“You muzzled Appa?!” He enters the avatar state in rage. Appa was much more than a pet. Appa is Aang’s best friend. His life partner. His link to his people. Hearing that Appa was treated like an uncontrollable, rabid animal isn’t alright with him. His people were already killed. So hearing that Appa could be in the same situation or worse hurts.

“I traded him with some merchants.” Trading him. Like property. Appa is living, breathing, he isn’t property. Then Appa was set to be sold. Sold.

Season 2, Episode 12: The Serpents Pass. Aang is trying to remain emotionless after Appa was taken away. He doesn’t want to grieve. He doesn’t want to feel. He wants the war to end and be done. He wants Appa back of course, but I think Aang feels that his emotions are going to prevent progress. So when Suki mentions how Appa wasn’t there, Aang was the first to look away. It hurts him immensely.

“Are you doing okay?” Suki asks Aang. At first, Aang looks to Suki and then to Katara, Sokka, and Toph. The view switches back to Aang where he says harshly, “I’m doing fine. Would everybody stop worrying about me?” Aang doesn’t want to be reminded further that -in his mind- that he failed.

“And now it’s like you don’t care about him at all,” Katara states. Katara continues about how worried she is for Aang and offers him a hug. He steadily rejects, “thanks for your concern, Katara.” He walks away. He is so hurt that he doesn’t want to feel. He doesn’t want to be human.

“But you’ve made me feel hopeful again.” It doesn’t mean he’ll stop himself from blaming himself, but it means Aang will return to being hopeful and optimistic.

Season 2 episode 13: The Drill. It’s towards the end where Aang gives the final blow, it’s not really about the moment but the music. Aang is determined to save the world. Even though he’s going through in an incredibly tough time, he’s not going to give up and he’s going to save Ba Sing Se. The music displays this perfectly also while the French Horns add Aang’s musical theme in the background.

Season two, episode 15. The tales of Ba Sing Se. Aang creates a Zoo after seeing all the caged up animals. I think that Aang did this because it reminded Aang what predicament Appa could be in. All chained up. Of course, above anything else, Aang goes to the Zoo in the first place to look for Appa. But I think Aang wanted to release the animals into a better space because Aang wanted to help them, knowing at least Appa would want a sense of freedom. Also because Aang could see that the animals were unhappy.

Season 2 episode 16: Appa’s Lost Days. Sorry but Aang sleeps with the bison whistle right next to him. Meaning, the first thing he wakes up to is the whistle. So right away, Aang is reminded that he needs to get Appa back no matter what.

Season 2 Episode 17: Lake Logoai. Weakly, Jet says, “I’m sorry, Aang.” Aang replies, “Don’t be.” Aang is already worried. But after it's inferred that Aang was going to die by Toph’s, “He’s lying,” is another reminder to Aang that having relations to other people puts them in danger. And that Aang might think that he is another cause for Jet’s death. It’s a big rolel, accounting for every death and injury at Aang’s stake.

Reuniting was Appa, finally. The tears, the relief. Appa will forever be his best friend. To death. A weight was definitely released from his chest.

Season 2 episode 18: The Earth King. Aang wants to tell the Earth King the truth. With Appa back, it’s hoped that things could turn out well for Aang. And a chance the war could end sooner. For the fatalities to stop.

Season 2 episode 19: The guru. “What do you blame yourself for?” Aang responds, “I ran away. I hurt all those people.” He holds himself accountable that he wasn’t there. That he was the cause of injury. Even though he forgave himself doesn’t mean he thinks about it. That’s the thing about guilt. It reoccurs no matter if you try to bury it. Or even forgive yourself, it still shows up.

“Lay all your grief out in front of you.” Aang pictures the whole Air Nation with Gyatso in the front. He’s trying to save the word to not leave their names, their culture in vain. He lost everyone.

Season 2 episode 20: the Crossroads of Destiny. He had to let her go. There were too many people against him. He had no other choice than to let go and enter the avatar state. He had to give up another part of himself to be what the world needed. He needed to save Katara, not letting any others fall to his fault.

Season 3 Episode 1: The Awakening. “Everyone thinks you’re dead. Isn’t that great?!” To Aang, it isn’t. In fact, that’s probably the worst thing Sokka could’ve said. To Aang, the world thinks he failed... again. At first, he vanished for 100 years, thought dead. Then he returned to become dead again. Now, the Fire Nation has practically won because he wasn’t able to keep Ba Sing Se afloat.

Aang wants to intervene even though he’s barely able to walk. He wants to handle it himself. He’s holding himself accountable. Maybe even thinking, it’s the least I can do if I’ve already failed to the world twice. He keeps trying to help, having Sokka hold him back.

“I don’t want you or anyone else risking your lives for my mistakes.” This means Aang really blames himself for everyone. Holding everything on his shoulders. Thinking, “it’s all my fault.”

Aang does the thing he knows how to, he flies away on his glider. Hurt and bombarded with a storm. When he’s found by his friends, he finds his glider which we knew was very important to him. Air Nomads weren’t very material, but to a person with a smidge of their culture left, it would’ve meant much more. So, seeing it in shambles and them actively choosing to burn it is heartbreaking.

Season 3 episode 2: The Headband. The fact that the children of the Fire Nation and everyone who was taught after the war started thought the Air Nomads had a military, forcing the Fire Nation to attack them. It’s screwy. It was wrong, but knowing that his culture was thought of as evil and bloodthirsty had to have been off-putting. I mean, the Air Nomads were pacifist!

Aang was stripped of his childhood, so going to a school gave him a new chance without the burden of being the avatar. For example, earlier I mentioned Aang was excluded from playing with the air-scooter, but in the Fire Nation school, Aang as Kuzon was invited to play Hide and Explode. A chance to have fun without his responsibility to defeat the Fire Lord. A chance to be a normal kid.

“You taught them to be free” Aang did his best to help the kids. It wasn’t defeating the Fire Lord but it gave them control. A mind. They were brainwashed by the school and their country! So achieving a sense of freedom by self expression is something more than I can display in words.

Season 3 Episode 9: Nightmares and Daydreams. Although it’s a fun episode, Aang is in his last moments to train before the invasion. He has to be ready. He’s afraid that he’ll let the world down a third time. So, he creates false scenarios and plays them out to prepare. In this process, he gets really sleep deprived because of his stress. He’s rightfully worried. The state of the world continues to burden him.

Season 3 episode 10: The Day Of Black Sun, Part 1: The Invasion. Aang comes to Sokka’s side when Sokka begins to worry about his moment of truth. Aang says, “I already failed to world once at Ba Sing Se. I won’t let myself fail again.” Again, it’s all up to him. He needs to save the world, he needs to redeem himself.

Season 3 episode 11: The Day Of Black Sun, Part 2: The Eclipse. Aang finds that it was all a trap. He failed again. On Appa as the youngest of the group loads on Appa, Aang is crying. He told himself that he wouldn’t fail. That he needed to win. He needed this victory to find out that his plan was ruined.

Season 3 Episode 12: The Western Air Temple. Aang accepts Zuko into the group. He does this not only because he needs a teacher but realizes that in his past attempt to learn Firebending, he hurt Katara. And that Jeong Jeong wasn’t the right master, but knowing that Zuko changed made Aang accept Zuko into the group and teach him.

Season 3 Episode 13: The Firebending Masters. Earlier, I mentioned that Aang vowed to be more careful with Fire after burning Katara. Showing why his flame was timid and weak. He was afraid for it to become out of control and hurt someone.

Season 3, episode 16: The Southern Raiders. “You’re feeling unbelievable pain and rage.” He’s empathizing with Katara. We can’t forget that Aang is a survivor of genocide. He’s been through so much and wants to help Katara make the right decision. Not making it for her, but guiding her through the decision that would make her satisfied with herself and Yon Rha’s outcome. One she could live with. He’s using his own experience to help her.

Season 3, Episode 18, Sozin’s Comet, Part 1: The Phoenix King. Aang wants to find an alternate solution rather than kill Firelord Ozai. He wants to stick to his principles. The ones that have been with him since forever. It’s not an easy decision. Maybe not only because of honoring the monks and their teaching but because the war had already created enough bloodshed.

Everyone is quick to assume Aang ran away. Although Aang is called to the Lion Turtles back. I think it was mostly unknowingly because he was like half asleep.

Season 3, Episode 19, Sozin’s Comet, Part 2: Old Masters. Aang looks to the past Avatars for their guidance. They’re the ones who might give him an alternate solution. In my opinion, they were all like, make whatever choice is right for you and the world. Don’t forget the world. Ultimately, to Aang, there were no other options, leaving him with the only option but to take Ozai’s life.

He meets the great look turtle. Aang respectfully asks him for an answer or an option. Once again, Aang was given the knowledge that he could take away whatever he received from the wisdom.

Season 3, Episode 20: Sozin’s Comet: Part 3: Into The Inferno. Ozai degrades Aang. Says, “you’re weak. Just like the rest of your people. They did not deserve to exist in this world, in my world! Prepare to join them.” So Aang has been told he’s weak and he is in no way weak. I will elaborate later.

Season 3, Episode 21: Sozin’s Comet, Part 4: Avatar Aang. Aang unblocks the avatar state and pins Ozai down. Just as Aang was going to kill him, he stops. He stops himself from going against his principles. Ozai continues to degrade him. “You are still weak.” Aang directs Ozai’s fire blast away using the Lion Turtle’s wisdom, Aang pins Ozai down and energy bends. With this, Aang discovers this non-fatal solution by giving Ozai justice and taking his bending away. Ozai can no longer intimidate and oppress anyone anymore.

“Please the real hero is the avatar.” That’s it. Aang is the hero. Of course, he had his friends to help him, but every single one of Aang’s mistakes and choices led to this. Led to the world being saved. So, for the first time in a while, Aang can come out of hiding, proud to be in this Air Nomad robes without concealing his identity.

I think I’m exaggerating about the tiniest details, but then again, I’m putting myself in Aang’s shoes, and that’s how I’d feel and how I interpret Aang’s actions/reactions. Also, I know I missed a few points, but I tried.

Big takeaways:

When Aang is told his people have been wiped out AND that he’s been gone for 100 years, for him, it has only been a few days for him. He left and a day later he wakes up and it’s been 100 years. That’s incredibly off-putting and scary. One day and his whole world shifted.

Aang was given very VERY little time to grieve as he had to save the world and learn the elements right away. When we do see it, his grief, he tries to let it all out at once rather than have it seep out little by little.

Aang is 12! He is a child and he saved the world. He has real emotions and was confused from time to time. He was a little immature at first but developed immensely.

Aang makes mistakes. But most importantly is that he learns from them and uses them to decide what's best for him and how to help others.

He looked for the light in dark situations.

Aang is the beacon of hope but even he was unhopeful and detached. He went to nightmares and back despite the worst.

Despite Ozai’s bashing and false claims, Aang is not weak and never has been. Aang went through the worst. He lost his family, his friends, and at one point, his best friend. He died. He was given an almost impossible task. Yet, he completed this task. He saved the world. Yes, he made mistakes but those mistakes shaped Aang into who he became. And how he was able to save the world. And Ozai was incredibly wrong. Aang defeated him and found his alternative. It wasn’t weak. It was strength. As Katara said in The Southern Raiders, “I don’t know if I was too weak to do it or if it’s because I’m strong enough not to.” In Aang’s case, he found his alternative that honored his teachings, his principles, his beliefs all while doing what was best for the world. That isn’t weak. It’s strong. Adding on, to come back from death isn’t weak. To return to action after running away isn’t weak. To face danger? To help others? To fight on the losing side for what is right? No, it’s not weak at all.

The music is fantastic and I think it reflects Aang amazingly. This doesn’t really fit into what I was talking about but the music fits the show.

Aang deserves so much love. I'll say it again, he's been through so much. Much more than what I could handle or almost anyone else. He is a traumatized child but even through the rough patches became an inspiration. To me, I think he’s sometimes overlooked and pushed aside so this is just some of my headcanons and takeaways.

Another thing, I’m not blaming Aang for anything. When I mention “it was his fault” I mean by he was blaming himself. The Air Nation’s genocide is not his fault. I mean that he blames himself for not helping or staying, for running away. 

Lastly, I don't own Avatar: The Last Airbender or any of their characters. They belong to their rightful creators and writers. Also, this is my analysis and a few of my takes on Aang’s trauma. I'm not trying to project my feelings on anyone. I'm just saying what I think.

If you made it this far thanks for reading my post!

[gifted-burnout-archive]

Driving Home For Christmas

Word Count: 3.8K+

Author’s Note: we’re back bitches, and with new stories every day until the 25th!! and we had to start with our favourite star herself, julie molina, because of course! i loved writing this, we love brother alex, we love having last names for the fucking characters!!!

Pairings: julie x reader - brother!alex mercer x reader - willie x alex

Warnings: fluffiness!!

--

The Mercer children hated spending their Christmas holidays in Aspen. In fact, there wasn’t anything the siblings hated more.

The luxurious ski resort cabin certainly had charms: the hot tub on the porch, the on demand hot chocolate, the fast passes to get on the slopes ahead of the general public, and that was all before you got to the world renowned chef, Portia, that was on-call twenty four hours of the day, seven days a week, able to make whatever their hearts desired. Anyone else might have thought the resort, covered in snow and holiday decorations, like a scene from one of those Hallmark Christmas movies that are always just on in December, was the perfect winter wonderland, and the sort of place anyone would die to spend the end of their year.

But Alex and Y/N Mercer didn’t hate Aspen; they hated their passively-homophobic parents and extended family that always showed up to ruin the festive cheer. Whether it was by berating the heir to the family fortune about his boyfriend back home in California; or their consistent pestering of Alex’s younger sister Y/N about when the girl would find herself a decent, upstanding boyfriend, like she hadn’t spent her entire childhood until the last year stuck in an array of all girls’ boarding schools across the great United States.

With the pros of the cabin weighed out by the con of their family, it came to be that on Christmas Eve the brother and sister sat amongst the slow-moving traffic on some interstate between the Colorado ski lodge and home, in sunny California, already ten hours into their drive.

“I still can’t believe… Dad is going to kill us, you know?” Alex said, swaying along to the song playing softly from the beaten up car’s stereo, his knees pulls up to his chest thanks to the bags that sat in the footwell. The car was overflowing, a mixture of luggage and gifts for those waiting on the other side of the sunshine state’s border.

Whatever snow adorned the old red car roof had been melted away the closer they got to the coast, the driver more and more grateful with every slow passing mile that she had saved up to buy her own mode of transportation. She hadn’t followed in her older brother’s footsteps of taking dad up on the offer of a car: the high-tech monstrosity Alex drove around Los Angeles was the sort of car that would be shut down remotely if stolen: Y/N’s car could barely get a radio signal.

“Dad will kill me; he needs you to complete some masterplan. Wanna theorise about what private institution he’ll send me to next?” Y/N asked with a smile to her older brother, the pair sharing a laugh in the glow of red brake lights.

Their relationship had always been easy: Alex was his little sister’s best friend, and he hers. Whether that was because money led to lonely children, or because they genuinely enjoyed each other’s company beyond their sibling obligations, the pair didn’t bother to find out. They were close, and that was what mattered to them.

“He’s running out of them now, you know. How many was it before you convinced him Los Felix was the answer to all your problems?” Alex asked with a raised eyebrow and smirk, leaning an elbow on the central divider of the tiny car, avoiding the sharp edge of a ski blade to tease his sister with a knowing look. “Was it seventeen or-”

“Twenty-four… I made a point to average it out to one every four months or so. Keeps mom and dad on their toes, makes the disappointment even more apparent when I show up on the doorstep again.” Y/N cut in, correcting her brother, the blonde boy taking her free hand and squeezing it.

“At least we keep disappointing them together…” He offered as words of solace, their hands breaking apart upon the movement of traffic, red lights dimming as the cars began rolling forward at a steady pace. “Thank you, Smalls… For this whole thing.” The nickname he used so often rang in Y/N’s ears and made her smile.

Her brother meant the words, she knew it: he had pleaded with their parents before they left to stay in California, with Reggie or Julie or Luke, but the mention of his bandmates had ended the conversation and turned it into their dad reprimanding Alex for his ‘fanciful’ mindset. The drummer never stood a chance against the united front that was their parents: they knew he wanted to stay for Willie, of course he did: the two had been planning their Christmas vacation together since Halloween, dates to the ice rink at Santa Monica Mall, to the university for lectures, to the movies to catch old Christmas movies on the silver screen. Half the reason their parents had forced Aspen onto the kids once again was because Alex had found his person, and Willie found Alex, and Mr and Mrs Mercer would do a fair amount to convince the general public, themselves, and Alex that he wasn’t gay.

The other half was because Y/N was pretty sure she had found her person too.

“Don’t sweat it, Alex.” She shrugged, moving up a gear as the traffic finally began to move towards an expected speed for the freeway. “Hearing mom and dad shout at us once they sober up enough to realise we’re gone? Priceless.” She let a regular smirk rest on her lips, indicating to take the upcoming turnoff, hopeful she might hit easy driving instead of the stop and start. The sun was setting before them, the sky painted shades of yellow and orange and pink and purple into the deep blue of the encroaching night, despite the time on her car dashboard only reading 16:42. It would be gone within the next few minutes, and the driver switched on her headlights in response.

“Alexander Washington Mercer! How dare you defy me in such a way: you know better than to follow your little sister so blindly!” Alex yelled into the cramped space, impersonating their father with the gruff voice the man in question used, like he constantly had a cough in his throat he couldn’t dislodge.

“Y/N Y/M/N Mercer! I expected better from a young lady of your fine standing! How are we meant to find you a good husband if you run off with your brother like you haven’t a care in the world?” IT was Y/N’s turn to impersonate a parent: the shrill shriek of their mother, Y/N raising a hand a messing with the locket around her neck the same way their mother fiddled with her pearls when she was distressed. The two shared a look through their chuckles.

“It’s just a phase!” They said in chorus, the line their parents most often used in arguments against either of the pair. The laughter died away with the words, both letting out a soft, melancholic sighs, and falling into a comfortable silence. They were just skirting the outside of Las Vegas, Nevada, with at least another six hours of driving left by the state of the road, Y/N joining the back of another queue of cars all headed somewhere.

“Driving home for Christmas. Oh, I can't wait to see those faces, I'm driving home for Christmas, yea. Well I'm moving down that line. And it's been so long, but I will be there. I sing this song to pass the time away. Driving in my car, driving home for Christmas…” Alex turned the volume dial, letting the song play out, beginning to sway along to the radio once again, humming a harmony line over Chris Rea’s raspy lyrics.

Y/N always like that: that her big brother was so musical. She had spent so long away form him, at every other boarding school in the country, she forgot how talented Alex was sometimes. IT was only getting to see him and his band perform the year before that she really clicked to her brother’s undeniable star power, and that ability was shared amongst his friends. But it wasn’t just his talent that made Y/N happy, but that fact that she never saw her brother happier than when he was performing with his ‘other’ family.

In truth, they were hers too… One of them was why she was racing home so eagerly, why she had masterminded the entire escape for her and Alex. Neither of them would have been able to survive another minute with the monsters they unfortunately call relatives.

By the time they had passed Las Vegas and were closing in on the California border, the dashboard read 19.53. The countless games of ‘eye-spy’ and ‘would you rather’ grew old quickly, replaced for an hour by Alex reading out the pages of the closest book they could scavenge amongst the piles of presents and luggage, one of Y/N’s art textbooks. That then turned onto Alex recovering his drumsticks, tapping and singing along with the radio as Christmas song after Christmas song played.

“Smalls, what if we don’t make it?” Alex posed the question for the first time that night, and Y/N was honestly shocked it took her big brother so long to reach his usual state of worry. “What if we drove all this way and we don’t make it in time?”

“Relax, Alex, honestly… Look, we’ll get there when we get there. No-one even knows we’re coming, it’ll be fun, a surprise!” Y/N suggested, stopping herself for continuing to press down on her car horn, honking in anger at the dude who just cut in front of them. “Fucking asshole.” She muttered, looking back to her brother to be met with a face of surprise.

“How is it that I am always labelled the emotional one?” The question made Y/N smile, reaching over and patting on the blonde locks atop her brother’s head.

“Because rage isn’t emotion, it’s power.” Y/N quoted their dad again, putting on the gruff voice Alex had portrayed hours before, letting her neck roll and crack out air pockets once the words hung in the air. “With your little bandmates, it may not be true, but in this car? It most certainly is.” She reminded turning her eyes back to the road and putting the car back in gear to drive, following the car in front as the traffic began to move again.

--

“You know, I never thought church would be that fun! Is it always like that, or do they just ram up the wow factor for the holidays?” Reggie asked as he followed close on the footsteps of the Molina family, Luke to his right as he received glances from those surrounding him. “What?! I’m not exactly the person you’d expect to head on over to midnight mass every year, dude.” Reggie defended, Ray unlocking the front door of the house before turning around and placing a hand on the bassist’s shoulder.

“Well, we were glad to have you along with us, Reggie. Glad to have you for the holiday too, both of you, in fact.” Ray opened the statement to Luke, whose eyes darted up and were followed by a bright grin.

“Glad to be here, Mr Molina.” The guitarist responded with a dashing smile before rushing inside, his destination quite certainly the fridge, where Carlos was already searching for snacks before bed.

The Molina family had kept the tradition of midnight mass ever since Julie was little, a chance for some spiritual connection to the holiday season as well as familial. That year, with the Peters and Pattersons off on a Bahama cruise, Ray had welcomed Julie’s best friends and bandmates with open arms. The only thing that would have made it better was the Mercer kids.

It seemed to be why, while the boys all gravitated to chocolate chip cookies and warm milk before bed, Julie had idled over to the window, her eyes drifting out into the front yard, searching for someone who wasn’t going to show up.

“Mija…” Ray said softly, watching his daughter from across the room, a soft smile tracing his lips as she let out a yawn. “Mija, you should be going to sleep. Papá Noel won’t deliver his gifts if you stay awake all night staring out a window.”

“But dad…”

“I know it sucks, honey, but we’ll see them at New Years, right? And tomorrow we’ll have Flynn’s family and tía and Willie all over for food.” Ray reminded, and Julie let out a sigh, finally diverting her eyes from the window and up to her dad, his hand outstretched for her to take. She took it, and Ray lifted his daughter to her feet and into a hug. “I love you sweetie, now go get ready for bed. I have to round up your friends before they eat all the food in the house.”

With that, Julie gave up on the sliver of hop she had held for that night, shuffling up the stairs somewhat defeated. She knew it wouldn’t happen, in the back of her head she knew it wouldn’t happen, but she had really hoped Alex and Y/N would just show up, out of the blue, and surprise them all by spending Christmas back home, with them, with her. Of course, Mr and Mrs Mercer were far from nice people, far from unwealthy people: the idea of their kids spending Christmas at the Molinas was probably something they flat out refused to even think about.

It didn’t take long for Julie to get into her Christmas-themed pyjamas and brush her teeth, tying her hair into braids and tidying them back with a cap for the night: her night time routine was one she knew well, and was efficient in doing. Her makeup washed its way down the bathroom sink, her glasses perched themselves onto the slight dents the pads had carved into the sides of her nose, her blue monster slippers kept her feet warm as she shuffled back to her room and into her bed. She tried to focus on the better parts of the day: of making gingerbread houses and rehearsing Christmas songs with the guys, of putting up the final decorations on the tree in the living room while trying to avoid her father’s cries of anguish over another badly wrapped present from the other room.

But she couldn’t help but think about how much better it would have been had Alex been banging on his drumkit, how much happier he would have felt spending Christmas Eve with Y/N by her side…

The thought had Julie grabbing at her nearest pillow, squeezing it under crossed arms as she scrunched her eyes shut and willed sleep to come. At least if she slept, she wouldn’t be thinking about Alex and Y/N being trapped with their not-so-nice family in some snowed in cabin in some mid-west mountains, not consciously anyway.

tap.

A noise, one Julie excused as a creak of the house floorboards or a falling branch from the tree outside, seemed to echo in her near silent room, save the girl’s breathing.

tap.

This time, Julie’s eyes darted open, though she refused to move. Two was a coincidence, there were plenty of explanations for two almost identical sounding taps spaced apart almost perfectly.

“JULIE!” A loud whisper sounded from outside the girl’s window.

Now, that wasn’t coincidence.

The girl jumped out of bed, rushing over to her window in a blur of sequined candy cane pyjamas, muddling with the latch on her window before opening it up wide to the chill of LA winter air, her eyes darting across the grounds below to find the source of the noise. A part of her wondered if she might be dreaming, if it might have all been the saddest and happy dreams because she’d wake up any moment and the sight would be gone.

But there they stood, Alex and Y/N, in her driveway, the latter’s car parked behind them and looking like it most certainly drove for nineteen hours straight.

“Dad!” Julie called back into the house, the smile on her face brighter than any of the Christmas lights Y/N had seen on their drive through the residential district. “Dad, we have some extra guests.” She finished, her calls waking Carlos, Luke and Reggie in the process of alerting Ray, the windows of the house suddenly lighting up and the household woke for good news.

With a final grin out the window, Julie disappeared from Y/N’s sight, to no doubt meet her and Alex by the front door, and the pit in her stomach Y/N had tried to ignore for the entire car journey from Colorado seemed to only get bigger, louder, more persistent, now they had finally arrived back in California, in LA, at the Molinas. She had initially pinned the feeling to adrenaline from disoberying her parents, from packing up her car and driving almost a full day to arrive three states west of her original destination.

Looking at the house’s front porch, a muddle of Christmas gifts in both her and her brother’s hands, Y/N came to the conclusion that the pit wasn’t because of leaving Aspen: it was because of arriving in LA.

“I’m not going to ask how you made it or why you are here, but we are happy to see you all the same.” Ray’s kindly tone and words brought Y/N from her thoughts, blinking away the haze to find the door now open, Alex, Reggie and Luke in a tight embrace with presents scattered over the driveway, and Ray standing in front of her with Carlos by his side. “I would suggest one of you text your parents’ that you are safe though.” He added with a chuckle, opening his arms for Y/N to rush into, the pair embracing in a tight hug.

“Nice to be home, Mr Molina.” She replied with a smile as the pair broke apart, only for Alex to take the next slot of hugging Julie’s literal, and the four other teens’ figurative, dad.

“I made up the spare room just in case, you know. Julie’s request.” Ray added, gesturing with a thumb back to the front door, forcing Y/N’s eyes to follow.

She was so beautiful, every time Y/N saw Julie Molina her breath escaped her body, her limbs became heavy, her mind fogged: her heart began beating at a pace too fast for her body and her lips lost any real words.

“I thought you’d be in Aspen until the day after Boxing Day.” Julie said with a shy smile, the five guys in the front yard glancing amongst themselves before Carlos cleared his throat.

“I think we should put the presents under the tree!” The ten year old declared, scooping up some of Alex’s dropped gifts and marching inside, prompting Ray and Luke to do the same. Alex rans back to the car, retrieving the last straggler gifts from the car’s back seat while Reggie relieved Y/N of the stacks of presents in her own hands, save one. The two teens shared a smile, Reggie going the extra mile to pass on a wink of good luck to the younger Mercer before the bassist and drummer both disappeared into the house, leaving Julie and Y/N alone.

“I uh, I made a decision… A decision to kidnap my brother and drive a day across country.” Y/N managed to get the words out without too much difficulty, trying to get over the cotton mouth she was experiencing. “Because I didn’t want to spend the holidays without the people I love most.” She added, finally reconnecting her leg movements to her brain and walking across the driveway to meet Julie at the foot of the porch steps.

“Without the people you love most?” Julie questioned, taking a step closer, the girls standing toe to toe, Julie looking up at Y/N with doe eyes that could melt diamonds.

“Without the girl I love most.” Y/N corrected herself, tucking the small gift box she held into her back pocket. The words were seemingly sufficient enough in hello, as Julie launched herself onto her girlfriend, their lips crashing together in sweet harmony for the first time in weeks, thanks to the Mercer parents.

Y/N’s hands cupped Julie’s face as they shared in the sweet, intimate moment, Julie’s hands pulling Y/N closer by her t-shirt. Their lips colliding was the action required to dissipate that pit in Y/N’s stomach completely, her senses in overdrive finally being close to her girlfriend again. The smell of Julie’s perfume, the minty taste of toothpaste still on her lips, her glasses brushing against Y/N’s cheek. For Julie, it was much the same experience: the kiss made her head spin, overcome by the smell of Y/N’s car air freshener and the taste of red vines on her lips.

The pair broke apart after a few moments, their foreheads pressing together as peaceful silence washed over them, the cool breeze counteracted by the red heat that had risen to both girls’ cheeks.

“I wouldn’t want to spend Christmas with anyone else.” Y/N breathed out softly, one hand taking Julie’s in hers, the other retrieving the gift from her back pocket. “Mostly because I missed you like crazy, partly because I wanted to give you this.” She explained, the girl before her grinning and taking the gift box offered with bubbling excitement.

“Can I open it now?” Julie asked, and Y/N glanced at the watch on her wrist.

“I mean, it’s technically Christmas so…” Y/N giggled when Julie let out a shout of joy, pulling off the ribbon holding the box shut and shimmy-ing the lid off, to reveal a small potion-looking bottle amongst tissue paper. Julie lifted it out of the box, a small key glinting in the porch light within the bottled, caught in mid-air by invisible strings withing the decorative gift.

“It’s so beautiful… What is it?” Julie asked, pure curiosity in her words as she looked at the bottle in wonder. In response, Y/N pulled her locket out from beneath her shirt, gesturing to a small keyhole on the front Julie had never noticed adorning one of the girl’s most essential items before.

“That, Miss Molina.” Y/N started, grinning from ear to ear, exuding a shaky confidence that seemed like it might falter at any second. “That is the key to my heart.”

“Y/N…”

“I love you Julie.” They had never said it so directly before, ever. They always skirted round the actual words, always knew what the other meant without need for clarification. But under the porch light of the Molina residence, unaware of Alex, the guys, Ray and Carlos watching from the living room window, after having driven through so much traffic just to try and get to her on time for Christmas, and with Julie standing there in her festive pyjamas and blue fuzzy slippers and looking at her like that, Y/N had never felt more sure of something in her life.

“I love you too, Y/N.” Julie promised, pulling her girlfriend close again, the kiss shared this time chaste, though no less sweet.

“Merry Christmas, Molina.”

“Merry Christmas, Mercer.”

 --

Tags (some people I think might like this festive nonsense): @reggiesleatherjacket @parkeret @calamitykaty @crybabyddl @delicatelukepatterson @lukespatterson @kcd15 @siennanoelle01 @eries45 @lolychu @lazydaisy19 @reggieandthereggies @writerinlearning @mjflower @uhmitstori @walkingonshunshine @kristencoontz @vicesvsvirtuesfanfic @ritz-hell-hotel @mishappend @dovegranger @dmcfarland1 @cherrymaybank @oswinsleaf​ @only-here-for-jatp​ @jatpfan99​ @n0wornever​ @bookdealer5​

--

Twelve Days Of Christmas: 2/12 will be released in 24 hours! Who will our story focus on? Can you guess? I’ll give you a hint: we’ll be going back to 1990s...

[tommyhollandaisesauce]

Let Me Do The Work TEASER [t.h.]

MASTERLIST

Pairing: Tom Holland x Fem!Reader

Word Count: ?k

Posted: 11/16/2020

Warning(s): Fluff, smut, unprotected sex (wrap it up kids), oral sex (f receiving), maybe too much plot? and definitely a whole lotta lazy sex sue me.

Summary: Tom thinks you deserve a reward after a hard few days at work.

A/N: First smut in the bag lets go. Also, the point of view makes no sense but continuity is not in my vocabulary so. Anyway, the full part is almost finished so lmk how you guys like this!

When Tom got home on Wednesday night the last thing he expected his girlfriend to say was “Wanna have sex?” He had asked a few times before if you could and your response was usually something to the effect of “Sorry babe, another time, I’m just exhausted.” He knew your job was taxing and took a lot out of you and, frankly, Tom could survive the work week without getting any. He also knew that once Friday night rolled around it was all systems go; the weekend was yours to fool around as much as you wanted. And he was willing to wait.

Asking never hurt, though. Tom wasn’t annoying about it, at least he hoped he wasn’t. And for all the times you’d asked to have sex after he had a particularly exhausting day on set and he agreed, he didn’t feel super guilty about asking now and then.

It was unusual that Tom would be so exhausted from working that he didn't have any energy left to have sex. There had been some rare days when Tom could barely keep his eyes open even though you were right there, naked and sweaty, and riding his cock right on the living room couch. Your hands would be resting on his broad shoulders, your fingers digging into the muscles beneath his freckled skin as you bounced on his cock and his hands could barely stay put on your waist or hips to help you move. Sure, he liked watching you rise and fall on his lap and he liked seeing himself disappear inside of you and he liked the way your tits bounced with every movement and he liked watching your face. God, he loved your gorgeous face.

Your eyes would flutter open and closed the closer you got and you’d look at him with your big, beautiful eyes that were dark and lust blown and your jaw would go slack and you’d throw your head back in pleasure. Your movements would get sloppier as you’d start shaking and convulsing while you came. His arms would lazily wrap around your waist to pull you closer and you’d nuzzle your face into the crook of his neck, breathing hard against his skin as you came down from your high. But Tom couldn’t find it in himself to even worry about his own orgasm, he just wanted to sleep.

So when he came home to your shared flat around 7 pm from walking Tessa on a particularly boring Wednesday, now that he had a break, and saw you lying on the couch with a glass of red wine in one hand and your other arm thrown over your eyes, he figured it was pointless to ask. You had gotten home sometime while he was out, didn’t bother changing out of your blouse and jeans just yet, popped a bottle open, and poured yourself a glass.

Tom unclipped the leash from Tessa’s collar, allowing her to run free around the flat. Immediately, she trotted over to you, nuzzling your legs with her nose until you caved and gave her a few scratches behind her ears. Tom slipped off his sneakers, padding over to you, causing Tessa to run off in search of her favorite toy. The couch sank under his weight as he sat down next to your head, your eyebrows raised at the shift.

“Hey, stranger,” you muttered, removing your arm from covering your half-lidded eyes. Your eyes sparkled in the dim living room lighting as you looked up at Tom. He couldn’t remember a single time they looked dull. Not during a fight, or when you were sad or tired or sick, never. They reminded him of stars. No matter what, they kept shining.

“Hi love,” Tom leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on your wine-stained lips. The upside-down angle was slightly awkward, but you’d be lying if you said you two hadn’t done the Spider-Man Kiss before, per his request.

You smiled up at him as he pulled away and closed your eyes. Tom threaded his fingers through your messy locks and you relaxed, even more, leaning your head into his hand.

“Long day?” He asked, continuing to run his fingers through your hair.

“Don’t even get me started,” you huffed out, dramatically throwing your arm back over your eyes, which made Tom chuckle at your antics.

“Tell me what happened?” He asked, and as you lowered your arm, you raised a single eyebrow at him.

“You sure?” You asked cautiously, “Because I wouldn’t wish the shit I dealt with today on my worst enemy.”

Tom scoffed, shrugging his shoulders, “Try me.”

You sighed before beginning your story. Today had been insufferable. From the minute you clocked in, to the minute you clocked out, it had been hell. One coworker in particular, with whom you were not super close or friends with in any way, kept nagging you about your relationship like she did every single day.

The incessant questioning and probing was getting old and, quite frankly, rude. The questions started out harmless, like everyone else’s when they found out the Tom Holland was your boyfriend. Some asked for autographs or pictures and you declined, saying that if he ever came in Tom would be more than happy to do that. And Tom agreed; you playing messenger was weird and not the type of thing either of you wanted people to get accustomed to. And most people understood; except for one.

The more she asked the worse they got. Personal questions were the norm now. Questions about family members and life together and sex. God, the sex questions never ended. ‘Is it good?’ and ‘What are you guys into?’ were some of her favorites. Sometimes she’d get creative with them and switch them up. And every time, you refused to answer. And you relayed this information to Tom like you did most days, and he rolled his eyes in annoyance at her ignorance before leaning down and pressing a soft kiss to your forehead when he saw you were getting riled up.

You softened immediately and sighed. Tom had a calming effect on you. Just being around him was relaxing. After so long together he still could calm you down. And he was cheaper than your copay for therapy, so hey why not vent to him?

“Just forget about her for now, babe,” Tom sighed out, continuing to stroke your hair, “she’s not worth your energy.”

“You're right,” you said quietly, “I’m home, I got my wine, I got my boy, I can relax.”

“Exactly,” Tom said, laughing at your words. He didn’t feel the need to say anything else as you both relaxed, his fingers still threaded in your hair, until a few more minutes went by, your eyes opened, and you turned your head to make sure you were setting down your not yet empty glass on the coffee table.

A soft “hey” escaped Tom’s lips as he watched you use your arms to lean up and turn to face him. He would’ve spoken more but was cut off as your lips pressed to his, the kiss awkward since you had caught him as he was speaking. His lips were slightly chapped and he tasted like spearmint gum as you hovered over him and moved your lips against his.

Tom sighed into the kiss, bringing one hand up to cup your cheek. You clumsily clambered into Tom’s sweatpants clad lap to straddle him and his other hand sat high on your thigh. The kiss was slow and passionate, neither of you in a rush to go further just yet. You melted into the kiss as his tongue slid along your lower lip to ask for permission to enter. You parted your lips immediately, allowing Tom access. After a few moments of lazily making out like teenagers, you pulled away to catch your breath. You closed your eyes, leaning your forehead against Tom’s as you both panted, trying to catch your breath.

“Can we go to our room?” You mumbled, just loud enough for Tom to hear. Your voice was low, soft, and a little shaky from being so tired. His eyes opened at your words and his ears perked up. Tom pulled his head away from yours and your eyes returned to their half-open state.

“I thought you were tired?” He questioned teasingly, tucking some strands of hair behind both your ears and resting his hands on your cheeks. You reached up and wrapped your fingers around Tom’s wrists, smiling sweetly at him. He was sure his heart damn near melted in his chest at the sight of his sleepy girlfriend asking to have sex with him.

“I am,” you said softly, smirking as Tom ran his hands down your sides and settled over your hips, “why do you think I wanna go to our room?” You joked, wrapping your arms loosely around his neck and ducking your head down to place soft kisses along the side of it. He sighed, tilting his head in the opposite direction to give you more room as your fingers carded through the short, soft curls at the back of his head.

“You sure?” Tom asked breathily, as you continued laying kisses across his jaw and below his ear, “Because I don’t want you to do it just because I want to-”

“Tom,” you huffed, pulling away from his neck, your hands migrating to rest on his shoulders. He straightened up and opened his eyes as the feeling of your soft lips disappeared from his neck. “I’m sure. Now shut up and take me to the bedroom.”

-

FULL PART

A/N: AAAHHHH ok I mean I definitely put words on the page lol. Fr tho this is the first time I’ve ever posted anything so lmk if y’all want the rest! Feedback is always appreciated! <3

[hlupdate]

In a never-before-published 2012 interview, Harry Styles and Niall Horan talk about their childhoods, the future of One Direction, and much more

In the spring of 2012, I spent a few entertaining days hanging out with the five young members of a British boy band who were just breaking big in the United States. The guys from One Direction were unjaded, unguarded, totally charming, and a puppy pile of optimism and energy. On April 8th, in a New York City hotel room, an 18-year-old Harry Styles and 16-year-old Niall Horan sat down with me for a joint interview, published here for the first time. (The reporting was intended for a Rolling Stone cover story that never ran.)

It was late morning, and they had both just rolled out of bed. Styles wore a hotel bathrobe; Horan, with braces still on his teeth, was in sweatpants, a T-shirt, and a Dallas Mavericks hat a fan had given him during a recent trip to Texas. The conversation was casual, full of laughs, and focused on their formative years.

What did you do at the gym last night? Harry: One of our security guys, his friend’s over, he’s a personal trainer, so I was working with him, and he ripped me to shreds.

In 12 hours, you have to do Saturday Night Live. Are you ready? Harry: Yeah, I think so. I think it’s going to be a fun day. It’s just really exciting, obviously. The show is so huge. For us to get the opportunity to be on it at all was just amazing, and to us, to be performing and just be involved with the show is amazing.

Have you seen whole episodes of it? Harry: I’ve watched a lot of clips on YouTube. They don’t show it in the U.K.

Growing up, when did you realize you could sing or that you wanted to sing? Harry: I sang in primary school, like the school productions, plays and stuff.

What was your first one? Harry: The first one was…I was five, and there was a story about a mouse who lived in a church, and I was Barney, the mouse. I had to wear my sister’s tights, and a headband with ears on it, and I had to sing a song all by myself. I remember it was just like, whatever…in the second, I was Buzz Lightyear in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, so you know when they run and hide in the toy shop? Buzz Lightyear was in the toy shop, so they just created my character. The last one, I was in…you know Joseph and the Technicolor Dreamcoat? I was the pharaoh, but I was an Elvis pharaoh.

Did you have a sense that this is what you wanted to do in your life? Harry: I think in school, I was OK, I wasn’t a bad student. I think I just knew I wanted to entertain people and stuff. I was a bit of an attention-seeker at school.

Niall: Me, too. I just talked too much, sang too much.

You were onstage as a kid and were like, “This is what I like”? Harry: I knew it was fun, I had a lot of fun doing it, and I stopped when I started high school, and then I didn’t really do anything, I just sang at home, in the shower, in your bedroom, that type of thing. I guess it started again when my friends were in a band and they wanted to do this battle of the bands competition that was at school, and they needed a singer, and one of my friends asked me.

What did you sing? Harry: We sang “Are You Gonna Be My Girl” by Jet, and “Summer of ’69.” We did it more towards the Bowling For Soup version.

How about you, Niall? Niall: I always knew I wanted to sing. I was academic…I was one of those people that if I’m not interested in something, I don’t really care. If I’m not interested in school, I would have never trained or done my homework or anything, I’d have just gone outside and played football or whatever.

Harry: [helpfully translating] Soccer.

Niall: So I always wanted to sing. I was singing here and there, not gigs or anything, but I always sang around the house or whatever, and I played Oliver in a school play. And then I just did that, and people told me I should do something…I was only 10, what could I do at 10? I just did a couple of gigs, and when I got to high school, they told me that I should just try out for The X-Factor.

Who told you? Niall: My French teacher. We used to do talent shows and stuff at school, she was like, “You should do it,” so I did it.

What did that entail? What were the steps from being a kid in high school to getting on the show? Niall: It was the final of The X-Factor the year before, and at the end credits of the final, it says, “If you want to apply for 2010, go online,” so a couple of weeks later, I said, “Right, I’m going to do it,” and I filled in the form online, we were sending emails back and forth, going to this place at this time. The first one is at a big stadium, then if you get through that, you come back the next day. Is that the way they did it with you?

Harry: I had to wait a little bit, I think.

Niall: I was there at five a.m., I got seen at 12, and I was out of there by quarter past 12, and the next day I came back at 10 in the morning. You get through the first round, then they do a round where they don’t tell you if you got through after that.

Harry: They film it.

Niall: The producer and someone from the label. They film it and show it to whoever. Then if you got through that, it takes about two or three weeks until you find out. I was in Spain. Then you just go through the audition.

Harry, how did you wind up on X-Factor? Harry: I basically said, the same as Niall, I was watching the year before, and I remember looking at the young guys on there, and I was kind of like, “I’d love to have a go at it just to see what happens,” and that was kind of it. My mum actually did the application, and then three weeks later, I walked upstairs and she said, “Oh, you’ve got your X-Factor audition Sunday,” and I was like, “OK.”

Niall: In England, it’s the biggest thing ever. It took a while to build.

Harry: The two or three years were steady, and third or fourth, it just blew up.

Niall: It works that one in three people in the UK watch it. There’s 60 million people in the UK, and 21 million people watched the final the year we were in it.

Harry, your band also played at least one wedding right? Harry: Yeah. We actually said that we’d do the wedding gig, and…

Niall: You get paid for it?

Harry: Yeah. 160 quid, between all four of us. 40 quid each…we said we’d do it, and then we found out it was the weekend coming up, and we hadn’t done anything for it, so we asked the bride what kind of stuff she wanted, and she said she didn’t mind, but she wanted some Bob Marley songs. Literally in three days, not even three, probably two days, we learned like 25 songs. We might have known like three of them before. I was 16, maybe 15, singing these Bob Marley songs. There was a girl a couple of years below us, and it was her mum, she said she wanted us to play.

Niall: Can you imagine you’re at a wedding and you have 16-year-old kids up on the stage?

Maybe you were really good! Harry: Yeah, the drummer is one of my best friends from school, he’s a sick drummer, he’s so good.

Did you think the band could be something? Harry: A bit. My friend’s mum was a radio presenter, and she did a radio show  for a bit, so she was trying to sort us out a little bit of studio time, we were going to go in and record.

What do your parents do? Harry: My mum is a PA.  My dad is a financial adviser.

How about you? Niall: My dad works at a supermarket, he’s the head manager, general manager of an area, not just one, and my mum is unemployed now, so I try to help them out whenever I can.

You probably can. That must be nice. Niall: Yeah, it’s nice, it’s good.

Plus, now you can tell them what to do. Harry: [laughs]  “Now you go to bed.”

Were you happy as kids? Did you have adolescent angst and stuff? Did you go through depressed periods? Harry: Not really. I think at one point, I started acting like I was…I had a phase of listening to really heavy music.

Niall: I never went through that.

Harry: Not stupid heavy, but a bit… just because I thought it was cool.

Like what? Harry: Like Nirvana T-shirts, wore black all the time, pretty much.

Were you pretty happy go-lucky? Niall: Yeah, I was always happy. I think me and Harry were lucky. Our parents got divorced quite early, didn’t they, when we were really young. I was four, I didn’t know much, so I was always a happy kid, always up for a laugh, very carefree, and I’m a bit like that now.

Did you both grow up in your moms’ houses? Harry: Yeah.

Niall: I went between both, my mum moved to the country and I didn’t have any interest in it. I always felt like the country is for when you’re older. I was with my mom for a while but got bored, all my friends were in town, I went to school in town and all that stuff. It was more like that.

Harry: I lived with both parents, and then moved with my mum, and we owned a pub for like five years. I remember the first night, it was like a night where a band was playing, and I just thought, “How am I going to get to sleep?” I was three stories up, I was like, “How am I going to get to sleep with this noise?” I was next to a road in Sussex in the middle of nowhere, and by the end, I could fall asleep next to the band, I was so used to the noise.

Was it imprinting your brain? Harry: Maybe. One of the guys who used to play every so often, he used to be in Deep Purple or something… He started teaching me guitar when I was like 10, I think 10, maybe nine.  I loved it. I was 10, 11, all of the regulars, I got on with them. I’d walk behind the bar and my head would barely go over the bar. It’s still going now. We sold it to my best friend, we go in all the time still.

People say you come off as more mature than your age, you come off wiser. Did hanging around all those people as a kid help you mature?

Harry: I don’t know, maybe.  I moved when I was seven or eight from Cheshire, and it was still Cheshire, but half an hour away, but in terms of not driving and stuff, all my friends lived near my school, so that was a bit further out. One of my friends there was my sister’s age, he was 16 when I was 10. It was so tiny, they were the only teenage boys…we’d ride our bikes and go to the driving range and stuff. It was good, it was fun.

You both wanted to entertain – if it hadn’t worked out, would you have been really unhappy? Harry: Yeah, I think it would be kind of like…one of the reasons you go for X-Factor in the first place is that you want to do this, and it kind of helps you get out of the life that you were doing before. I worked in a bakery for two years. Obviously, I didn’t want to do that for ages!

If you’d asked people at school, would they have said, “Yeah, they’re probably going to be famous,” or would they never have guessed that? Niall: My aunt, I was in the back of her car. We used to go across Ireland to go to the beach for a couple of weeks, and I remember we were in the car, I was singing, and she thought I was the radio, and she told me, I never forgot it, that she thought I was going to be famous since I was six, seven. She was the only person who told me that, so I always remembered that.

Harry: My dad said it. I used to listen to a lot of the music he was playing, he’d play Elvis Presley to death, the Stones, I’d sing along to that and he’d say, “You’re going to be famous,” or whatever. He came on tour with us for a few days out here, he came to the Radio City show. He just said, for him, it was so educational. Obviously, he hears about what happens when I call him, but to see it and see it actually happen and how everything works was so good for him, he really enjoyed it. So that was nice.

So you grew up on Elvis and the Stones? Harry: Yeah, pretty much. My dad was a massive Stones fan, so it was pretty much Beatles and Stones in terms of what my dad played.

People say you kind of look like Mick.

Niall: He gets that a lot.

Harry: I get it more here, probably, than I do at home. It’s because of the British thing.

What have you learned about life from the last few years, what didn’t you know? What advice would you give yourself? Niall: How much more independent we actually are – me, anyway. Your mum attends to your every need and does your food and washing and gives you somewhere to live. Then you go into the real world, as you’re told as a kid…

Harry: We’re living on our own now.

Niall: We just started living on our own in the last six months, really.

Harry: I’m moving when I get back.

Niall: We do our own washing, we make our own food, we rent places, we’re out on our own now. You mature so quick, you’re dealing with big businessmen every day, you’re not dealing with school, people your own age. It’s a bit different.

Harry: You seem to learn so many life lessons, but in such a short space of time. If I speak to my friends and they’re having problems with girls, whatever it is, now I seem to just have the answer. I don’t know, it’s just different. Or I think I have the answer. In terms of…one of my friends was trying to decide what to do with school, stuff like that, and I would have had no idea what to say to him before.

The last two years must feel like 10. Harry: Yeah, but at the same time, it feels like six months, it’s weird. X-Factor was two years ago, but it seems like five years ago, but at the same time, it’s gone so quick. It’s a really strange dynamic of how it feels.

Do you have a sense of how this is going to go? Does it matter if it’s two years, five years or forever? Harry: I think how much we all enjoy it, because we love what we do – if you have to call it a job, it’s an incredible job to have, and we love it. We’ll all want to do it for as long as possible. If we have the opportunity to have a Take That kind of career, I don’t see any reason why we wouldn’t want to do that. If we don’t, I don’t know…we’ve done some amazing things already, but we don’t want to stop there, we want to keep going. I guess if we didn’t, I think we’d probably want to still be involved in…I’d just write, I guess.

Do you want to act? It feels like you could have your own TV show. Harry: I think it would be more of a documentary, because obviously, we’re not actors.

People must want you to try. Niall: Watch tonight, tell us what you think. Watch SNL.

Will you all make solo albums? Is that inevitable? Harry: No, I don’t think so.

Niall: Let’s do a swing album!

Harry: [laughs] We’ll all do swing albums. We’re just so focused on this, we all feel so lucky just to be part of this opportunity that we’ve all been given, it’s incredible, we’re just loving it. It’s sick.

People make a lot of assumptions about people in your position. They think you’re puppets and do what you’re told. What do you do when people make those assumptions? Harry: When you look from the outside, especially if you’re a skeptic of groups made through TV shows, which is fair enough, people don’t see what we do on a daily basis, people don’t see…I think from the outside, it looks so glamorous, they see us do TV performances every now and again, see us doing an interview every now and again, but they don’t know that we work seven days a week.

Niall: If there was eight days, we’d fit it in.

Harry: It’s not as completely glamorous all the time, of course it’s not, it would be stupid to think that it would be, but it’s hard work.

Niall: You’ve got to remember that you’ve got people on your team that have been doing this for many years and have been through the mill. You have all that experience around you, even from our tour manager, who’s been doing this for 20 years, they know what’s right, but at the same time, we want to have creative control, because at the end of the day, it’s us stepping out onto the stage of SNL tonight and have to sing these songs. We want to be singing what we enjoy, as we said last night. The music we all listen to is what we try and blend together to make this One Direction sound.

Harry: We obviously want to make it authentic and have our say without going, “People say we don’t control it, so we need to take control.” We’re not…we haven’t been writing songs for 20 years, we’re not producers. We’ve got an incredible team around us. Luckily, we’ve been given a lot of freedom, so we don’t go, “OK, we just need more and more control,” because we have a lot of control already. I think we find a really good balance in the way we work with our record label and our management, and it’s just how we work together, I think.

In any case, it’s probably better than the bakery. Harry: Yeah. But I don’t get a nice bun on my break anymore, that’s the thing.

Did you wear an apron? Harry: Oh yeah, I wore a white polo shirt and a maroon apron with white stripes. “What would you like? 78 pence, thank you very much.”

Were you behind the counter? Harry: Yeah, I was behind the counter. It was good. It was Saturday morning, I started at five and finished at four in the afternoon and got like 30 quid, it was a joke.

Niall, did you have a job? Niall: No, never.

So this is your first job. Niall: Yeah, not bad at all. I was chilling, I was being a kid.

Harry: I had a paper route before that. It gave me a bad back, bad posture. It was a heavy bag.

I interviewed some fans downstairs, and asked if they knew who you were six months ago, and they all said yes, and a year ago…They were all early adopters, heard you from the Internet, watched X Factor on YouTube… Harry: It’s the internet. People have friends over here that might tell their friends and look on YouTube and show their friends. It’s insane how it’s blown up. We’ve had the opportunity to come over to America and do shows, and release our music over here, which is amazing. Through the power of social media, we already had a bit of a following before we’d ever been over here, we hadn’t done any shows. We had some fans out here, which was amazing, but weird, really strange. I don’t know, it’s gone crazy. We don’t really see loads of it. We do the shows, then we’re in hotels, then we fly somewhere else. We don’t see massive amounts of it, we just go with it. This whole thing has gone on, and it’s sick.

Do you ever feel anxious through all this? Harry: Yeah, I think, obviously, just naturally, you think about what’s going to happen in the future. We’re 18, 19, 20 years old, we’re young. I wouldn’t say anxious, we’re just excited most of the time, and having so much fun, that if stuff were to finish and you were to look back on your time and all you did the whole time throughout this amazing stuff was shitting yourself about what’s going to happen next, then it would just be…I think you have to enjoy it while it’s going on. I think you should be wary about the future, but not worrying about it all the time. We still enjoy it and have fun, but obviously, you do think, “What am I going to be doing in 20 years, 30 year?” I’ll have kids by then.

Harry, I saw a tabloid with pictures of everyone smiling, and you were looking thoughtful. Do you get down sometimes? While everyone else is having fun, do you start drifting off? Harry: No, I think I’m naturally…not everyone is happy all of the time. I think you always have times when…like when you’ve just landed off a really long flight or miss home or something. They got a picture of me where I wasn’t smiling. I usually smile, but they got one where I wasn’t smiling and used that, and then said I wasn’t happy. They did that for a few days, that’s when we were in L.A. last time. It goes with the morbid voice.

Ringo would say, “It’s just me face.” Niall: “Who’s that little old man?” [quoting Hard Day’s Night]

Harry: “That’s Paul’s grandfather. He’s very clean.”

Sometimes you can drift off, that’s just your thing. Harry: [laughs] I’m just soulful, man, I try.

Harry, do you mind when you’re singled out for attention? Harry: I don’t know. I don’t really…I don’t know. We’re a band. Everything we do is together. I don’t take much notice of it.

So you’re not the Justin. Harry: No.

Niall: J.C. was popular, too, wasn’t he?

It’s not like that for you guys. Harry: Not at all.

There was an imbalance in that group. Harry: I think we find it important that people get to know all of our individual personalities, because…

Niall: I think that’s what’s good about it, people see us as individuals as well as a band, we all have our own personality, and we all give something to a band. Previous bands, they go around and can never explain themselves, they can explain the band, but as individuals, what we bring to the band and stuff…

Harry: We all know that we all have our roles, and we all know that without one of us, it wouldn’t work.

[your-eternal-muse]

Only If You Knew

Heather Series Part Two

Part One

Summery: A Few months have passed, and reader is struggling with letting go of the fact that Spencer never really was hers.

Words: 1.2K

Warnings: Mild Swearing, angst, but other than that, nothing much

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Heather, Spencer Reid x Eventual Female!Reader

A/N: Hi. So I know I said I would post part three to use me before I would post this part, but I have absolutely no self control and so here I am. I was up until 4:30 yesterday morning writing because I couldn't get it out of my head. Also, for right now, because I'm posting this on Mobile, it won't have a keep reading link, but when I get home from work, I will put one in to make everyone's life easier. How the fuck do you put a keep reading link on mobile? Anyway, this is un-beta'd so, sorry if there are any mistakes. I hope you enjoy!

I wished falling out of love was as easy as falling into it. I wish I could just wake up one morning and not think about what might be going on across the city, inside his apartment in the early morning light, while he lays next to her.

    It’s been almost 8 months since Heather walked into my life and promptly took away the only thing I had ever really hoped for.

    I guess I can’t really blame her for the way that I’m feeling. 

    I was the one who waited too long to share her secret.

    It may be 8 months for me, but for heather, it’s been sixteen. 

    She had him wrapped around her pretty polished finger for 8 months, and I didn’t even notice.

    In retrospect it was quite obvious.

    The way he would smile down at his phone, how he would duck out of celebrations of a job well done, even the amount of coffee he drank diminished as she made him coffee at home.

    I don’t know how I didn’t realize, that he was never really mine.

    But I can’t let him know that. 

    I can’t let anyone know that.

    The only person who will ever know of my unrequited love of Spencer Reid, will be the devil on my shoulder, and I plan on him dying with me when the time comes.

    I’m Spencer's friend first and foremost. His best friend.

    That’s the reason I’m sitting across from him in a booth at a restaurant for our weekly lunch, listening to him gush about her for the thousandth time. 

    And all I can do is smile and nod, pretending to be utterly fascinated by the stories of her teachings, or how she makes domestic life seem so much better than what he thought.

    But that damn devil on my shoulder is making it a lot harder to fake being happy for my friend. 

    Because instead of looking interested, like I’m supposed to be, a dopey grin is smeared across my face, and I’m looking at Spencer like he’s the entire universe wrapped up into a perfect little specimen.

    The devil is making me notice the way his hands move so effortlessly, how the words slip off his tongue and between his lips.

    How his eyes never quite land on one certain thing before moving onto another object.

    That is, until his eyes meet mine.

    “Sorry, I’m rambling again aren’t I?” A blush covers his face, one that doesn’t ever really leave anymore.

    I blink, and sit back in my seat, trying not to make it obvious how insanely in my own head I was. 

    “I will never, ever, get tired of your rambling, Spence.” I take a sip of my sweet tea, to try and coat my throat which has now gone dry. “I’ve told you before, and I’ll tell you again, I’m like, 98% sure that I’ve learned more from you in the past 7 years, than I learned from every teacher I had in the 16 years of schooling I went through.”

    “I need to work on that 2%.”

    He smiles, pushing some of his hair out of his face. It’s getting long again, and I can’t really say I mind it.

    “Heather thinks I should become a professor.” 

    I substitute biting my tongue for a fry, and think of what to say while I chew and swallow.

    “You’d be the most interesting professor those students will have ever met. Not to mention you’d probably get more women interested in the field.”

    The words slipped out before I realized I had even said them, but it was too late. 

    He had heard.

    “What do you mean?” he looks genuinely confused at the statement, like he doesn’t realize how fucking attractive he is.

    Best friends hype each other up, right? So it’s not weird for me to tell him he’s one of the most attractive people I’ve ever seen?

    “Are you kidding me Spence?” I lean forward, onto my elbows which are resting on the table in front of me. “Hun, you’re a piece of eye candy. Morgan doesn’t call you ‘pretty boy’ for nothing.”

    I steal a fry from his plate, since mine are all gone, and I need something in my mouth so I don’t talk myself into my own grave.

    “I guess I never really thought about it like that.” He runs his hands through his hair and leans back against the booth. “I haven’t really had the best luck with women, and them finding me attractive.”

    Well, those women are either stupid, or blind, because honey, excuse my language, you are a FINE piece of ass.

    But out of the woodworks, as if she had been listening to our conversation, his phone lights up with a picture of her, and a heart by her name.

    His mood instantly changes, as if her calling reminded him that it didn’t matter if no one else thought he was attractive, as long as she did.

    He slides his finger across the screen and holds it up to his ear. He’s quiet when he speaks.

    “Hi baby.”

    My stomach does somersaults as I make myself busy, stacking our now empty plates at the end of the table, and wiping salt from the top into my palm.

    I force myself to not hear his end of the conversation, the way he pauses and smiles as he listens to what she has to say, like she's the most interesting person in the world.

    The call ends right after the bill comes back, and I take my card out, placing it back into my purse.

    “I told you I would pay this time.” He’s embarrassed, clearly not wanting the call to have lasted how long it did. 

    I brush it off, shoving the annoyance back down my throat. “You can pay next week, loverboy.”

    He nods, sliding out of his booth, as I follow suit. 

    We exit the restaurant, and prepare to leave our separate ways, leaving me to go back to a lonely apartment, where reruns of The Nanny don’t even make me laugh.

    We never leave without a hug, though.

    Oh how I love his hugs. 

    How he wraps his arms around my waist, nuzzling his face into my shoulder and the crook of my neck, while I hold my arms around his shoulders, and just hold him. 

    It’s a hug purely reserved for Derek, JJ, Emily, Hotch, Penelope, and me.

    It’s what I call a home hug. 

    A hug that feels like home. 

    And it always reminds me that while I may not have him how I want him, I still have him. And that’s not something that's ever going to change.

    It helps that I know he doesn’t hug Heather this way, at least not out in public. 

    It makes me feel like I have something to hold over her.

    Does he hug you like you’re the only person who matters in that moment?

    That fucking devil usually pops up than, and whispers to me no, but he probably kisses her like she is.

    When we break, I almost forget that he’s going back to her apartment, and not his own.

    We leave with promises of seeing each other at work, and we walk opposite directions down the street. 

    I stop for a moment, turn back, and just watch him walk.

    Walk away from me.

    And towards her.

    Lucky bitch.

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