#kill your perfectionism kids!

[greykolla-art]

have you ever shared your comic making process? im super interested in seeing how you go about everything from start to finish!

[radioactive-mouse]

I get how tempting it is to just label flower husbands as “toxic” and move on, but god they can be SO much more nuanced than that, it makes me insane.

I think something that goes largely unexplored by the fanbase is c!scott’s obsession with composure. he’s clearly very proud of his ability to stay calm under pressure and be two steps ahead of everyone else— not that he’s afraid to rely on people, him and cleo very clearly have that unshakable trust between them, but i think that sometimes he gets so wrapped up in being steady, reliable scott, never hot-headed, never spiteful, or clumsy, or nervous.

and jimmy is a very real threat to that composure, more often than not.

and i think the way their relationship functions in 3rd life, while steady at the time, definitely set them up for complications down the road. scott, for as fiercely dedicated to his allies as he is, kind of tends to handle jimmy with kid gloves for the earlier parts of their relationship. he’s not very good at the death game, but that’s fine, he doesn’t need to be, scott will take care of it— he’ll get them set up with armor and potions and walls and jimmy can do… whatever it is he does when scott’s not around. mostly getting swindled, if he had to guess. but it’s fine, because scott can be steady, level headed, clever—

i do think most of scott’s ribbing about how he doesn’t know why he lets jimmy do anything when all he does is get scammed half the time is genuinely all in good fun, (jimmy is more than happy to play the fool most of the time, if only to bring a little bit of levity to things) it is super symptomatic of the way scott actually thinks about him. i don’t believe he thinks jimmy is actually stupid or anything, but i do think scott doesn’t quite trust him to get anything done. scott would never in a million years let himself lean on jimmy for any kind of support, because in scott’s mind jimmy’s job is to be bright and brash and only listen to that heart of his that’s too big for his body, too big for this game.

and i think too often we forget just how much losing jimmy destroyed scott in 3rd life. you ever think about how wrecked he must’ve been to place 10th despite being a consistent finalist in every other season? do you think about how all he has left is the burning, white-hot urge for revenge from the second jimmy’s body hit the ground?

i don’t think scott ever wants to feel like that again. i don’t think scott wants anyone to see him like that again. i think scott tries very hard to love jimmy from a safe distance where no one gets hurt. and i think that distance fucking kills jimmy, metaphorically speaking.

(also, tangentially related, i think there’s something to be said for how instantly tango goes “we only have a short time together, your curse will probably get us killed, and that’s fine.” and how jealous scott gets of that sentiment. as far as scott is concerned, tango and jimmy are of the same niche— they feel everything, loudly, even if it causes problems and even if it gets messy. and god that just makes his blood boil.)

i’m just so… entranced with the way scott carries himself with so much confidence and it’s not like he’s insecure, he really believes that, he’s a strong player and he knows that, but also revealing any emotion he deems to be “ugly” or “messy” makes him start to completely unravel. the driving force behind him is always love and loyalty and protectiveness over the people he cares about, but he’s juggling that with being dead set on never getting so close that losing them will completely ruin him.

anyway, this is getting away from me, but i think a lot of jimmy’s frustration with scott comes from the fact that he refuses to let their relationship go both ways, and i think by the time of the infamous “say i love you back” scene in limlife he’s just exhausted with throwing himself repeatedly against scott’s brick wall of perfectionism. that, and the whole Situation between them in double life, which i could honestly make it’s own post but good god i need to STOP typing or this will go on forever. forgive my completely disorganized ramblings i just have been trying to get all this down on paper FOREVER

[mysterycitrus]

Clearly you’ve got a lot of opinions abt the characterisations of the batfam in fandom /pos

Can you elaborate on your interpretation for all of them? /gen

it’s called caring too much — and it’s incurable! wrt my personal interpretation, that's a long and complicated answer, so ill just focus on the internal character of the waynes (specifically bruce and his five canonical kids).

bruce wayne is a control freak, we know this. his parents were killed for being in the wrong place at the wrong time, and he has literally never ever been able to truly process it. the degree to which he is controlling - firing robins, survelling his allies without their consent, compiling personal information from others, disregarding others feelings in favour of his own - is all about trying to achieve the best possible outcome. everything he does is justified, because if he's in control then he can stop bad things from happening. it is all in favour of the greater good. it's the logic of an eight year old who's just lost everything and hasn't grown up.

if bruce's trauma manifests control then dick's manifests personal perfectionism. he holds himself to such an absurd standard because he's a flier - when you're catching someone on the trapeze you quite literally have to be there, always, ready to take their hand. if you don't, they fall. if there's no net, if dick isn't the net, then they die. he’s always swinging back out and in again, waiting for the next person to slip through his fingers. he does not fear falling, only what will happen when he hits the ground. he’s a born performer made to be an atlas, carrying an unbearable weight that anchors him to the earth.

jason after death is a tragedy of his own creation, and dc's worst crime is trying to justify the terrible decisions he makes. jason isn’t right, because what he wants is not about protecting other kids from his fate or being a better batman. he wants to be personally vindicated, even though he knows it's impossible. jason rejected himself, bruce, everything, in order to transform into a weapon to enact violence. deep down he's so angry, so hurt, that he'll go after other children - tim, damian, mia - and still decry bruce in the same breath. killing the joker, killing bruce, killing dick, killing every robin before or since won't take him back to who he was before. you cannot go back. you can never go back.

cass sees everything. she can't unsee it, she can't ignore it, nothing in the body can be truly hidden from her, but like bruce that doesn't mean she's always right. she killed a man and witnessed his death, and thus will never take another life. she is all knowing, but she was not born knowing herself. she's jason in reverse — she turns from steel to flesh and bone. she will do whatever it takes to be good. she has made herself real.

tim chose this life in the most literal sense of the word, and then kept choosing it. it’s his duty, it’s his honour, it has hollowed him out and left nothing behind. his tethers to the world snap one by one — janet and jack and darla and dana and steph and kon — and suddenly it’s much harder to extricate himself from the black. robin, dick grayson, is his guiding north star, but his north star is only human. he knows he is capable, he knows this is his choice, and he knows he has long since lost the chance to unchoose.

damian is raised in the shadow of the bat. he is born of blood. he knew death before he knew his father. he is a child. he is ancient. he is a killer. he only wants to do good. he loves his mother. his father is gone before he learns to love damian. damian loves someone else who wears the bat but does not carry wayne name. everything he knows about himself is questioned — robin is given to him, and suddenly he can decide his own fate, make his own family. he wants to be the best, but he doesn’t know what he wants that to mean anymore. he wants the chance to find out.

[hawkins-losers]

Nightmare on Elm Street vs Halloween | Robin Buckley x Reader

Summary: You and Robin have a heated cinematic debate about horror movies

Word count: 0.7k

Request: if u haven’t could u do #80 w robin!! (80. crashing your lips together during an argument)

A/N: I do think that Robin is right in this debate and I would love to have cinematic debates like that with her. Anyone else?

‘‘What? You are so wrong and for so many reasons,’‘ Robin argued while stacking the returns after scanning them. ‘’How is Halloween better than Nightmare on Elm Street? John Carpenter is a great filmmaker, but Wes Craven brought originality and a strong premise. He created a memorable villain and unforgettable images- Glen’s gore bed death? The bathtub when Nancy is falling asleep in the bath and Freddy’s hand is the water? The ending? Fucking brilliant! Halloween can’t beat that.’’

Nightmare on Elm Street was a great horror classic, but in your opinion, it wasn’t better or scarier than the original Halloween.

‘’Michael is a much harder villain to escape than Freddy. Freddy targets the children of the ones who killed him. His killings are about revenge. No one stands a chance against Michael. He goes on a stabbing spree without any clear motivation other than to kill every bastard in sight.’’

’’Yeah, but Freddy is scarier. He hunts teenagers in their dreams and kills them in reality. That’s terrifying!’’ A shiver ran down her spine at the thought. ‘’There’s also no way to escape him. You can run from Michael or hide, but the only way to escape Freddy is to not sleep...except you can’t just stop sleeping. Your body needs sleep or else it’s gonna shut down and you can fall into a coma- Is a coma induced still considered sleeping?’’ Robin questioned.

You shrugged, not knowing the answer.

Technically, a coma is a prolonged state of unconsciousness. During coma, your eyes are closed and you do not respond to sounds or other things in your environment. Unlike sleep, you can't be awakened, even with vigorous or painful stimulation.

In a coma, the brain doesn't go through normal sleep cycles. Someone who is sleeping may move if they're uncomfortable, but a person in a coma will not. Therefore, a coma is not the same as sleep.

Would Freddy care though?

‘’Any ways, you’re fucked.’’ Robin looked over your shoulder. ‘’Steve! Come back me up here,’’ she called to her co-worker who was fixing a display some group of kids had knocked over ten minutes ago. ‘’Can you tell Y/N-’’ 

Steve shook his head before Robin could even finish. ‘’Your girlfriend, your debate. I’m not getting tangled into this again. The last time I participated in one of your cinematic debates, you ended up siding together and shouting at me for finding a movie boring-’’

‘’Because you were in the wrong!’’ you blurted, turning on your heels to face Steve. The guy had terrible movie taste.

‘‘The Shining is a masterpiece and you’re just too basic to understand get it,’’ Robin added, making Steve relive his nightmare. ‘’Jack Nicholson gave an incredible performance and so did Shelley Duvall. The staircase scene was shot 127 times due to Stanley Kubrick’s perfectionism, and Jack Nicholson destroyed nearly 60 doors to get the shot to Kubrick's liking.’’

‘‘Do I even need to bring up the iconic elevator scene?’’ 

‘’Here we go again…’’ Steve mumbled under his breath, getting horrible PTSD.

‘’Thirdly,’’ Robin continued where she had left of, taking the stack of returned and scanned VHS to put back on the shelves. ‘’Heather Langenkamp hotter than Jamie Lee Curtis.’’

You couldn’t disagree. You had watched Nancy reminded and paused Nancy’s bathtub scene too many times. ‘’I’ll give you that one,’’ you said, following her to the movies section of the store.

‘‘Ha!’’ Robin exclaimed, turning around with a victory grin forming on her lips. ‘’That’s another point for me!’‘ 

You furrowed eyebrows. ‘‘Another? When did we agree you got a point in the first place-’‘

You didn't get to finish your sentence, Robin's lips crashing on yours, the debate forgotten for a few seconds. Usually, it was you who would kiss her in the middle of a rant. It was nice to have the table turned.

You grabbed her green Family Video vest and pulled her closer, prolonging the kiss. 

If you hadn’t been in the middle of her workplace, she would’ve dropped the stack of movies and kept going, but a customer could walk in anytime - and poor Steve was annoyed by all the kissing. 

‘‘Does that give me a point?’‘ Robin asked. 

You bit your bottom lip and sighed. The hold this girl had on you... 

‘‘Okay, you win,’‘ you said in defeat. ‘’But, I still stand that Freddy is easier to survive. If you are not one of the kids of the parents who killed him, you’re safe. Michael is a deranged, murderous psychopath who kills babysitters. We both are babysitters and we can’t run. Oh, and need I remember you that he killed his sister when he was six years old. Babe, we would not survive.’’

-

Taglist:  @broadway-or-noway @violetsleftfist @thelaststraw3​  @cursedandromedablack  @Slashersimpfor  @savagejane1  @wh0reforbucknasty  @eddiemunson-slut  @slvdsjjk​  @hehehehannahthings  @dreamdancers-world  @grace-loux  @iamharrystyleslover

Robin Buckley taglist: @uhidklol-26 @prettyplant0  @ran-rap  @eddiemvunsongf   @batorchids222  @scarlet-kazuha  @saphmoth  @uhidklol-26  @you-makeme-crazier-blog​  @spongebob-in-the-upsidedown  @swiftbyul

[fancyfade]

NGL I do love pre 2011 batfam all having such different internal motivation around killing (and if they agree it's never OK, the why it is not OK is different for people).

Like Bruce has rules that he tries to follow. these are for many reasons, some to keep himself in check, some because if the entire point of Batman is that no other family is torn apart him killing people is literally defeating that point, it reads as generally ideology based. and I think that Bruce's character traits in the 70s or 80s where even if he doesn't kill people he isn't super distraught if they die is kind of interesting and it's a shame the writers dropped it. tho IG it could also be character development. (should note: he also has accidentally killed people but doesn't blame himself for it in some 80s comics like son of the demon)

Cass's rhetoric is based on her compassion and perfectionism and just. it's wrong period. no one deserves to die, and since she always has to be perfect, she always has to be able to save everyone even people who are trying to kill her. i feel like even if there was a case where someone had to kill someone else in self defense, cass would never view that as acceptable for herself because she should always be able to solve everything perfectly.

babs is sometimes vocally anti-killing people but i think it's fucking fascinating that she is also shown as being willing to potentially kill someone pretty often (at least pre new 52 when they removed 95 percent of her personality). not wanting to be faced with the prospect of being a victim again, she lures thinker into a trap with the intention of killing him. even after she's gotten more solid footing, she still is willing to kill to protect other people (she starts getting ready to snipe black mask when she thinks he will kill someone who was working for her in no man's land, before helena as batman shows up) and she is willing to authorize huntress to use lethal force to protect tim.

and tim's rhetoric for not killing people is very 'becuase bruce said so'. no seriously like (link) his rhetoric for a lot of what he does as robin is based on following The Rules ™. who made the rules? Bruce. and if he breaks the rules he feels unworthy. it would've been cool if the writers had acknowledged this way they wrote him so he could develop his own moral code, but I'm not sure they did in what I read. generally bruce was right because he's batman, so tim following bruce's rules for the most part is tim being right. no need to think of it further

dick is very anti-murder in ntt because heroes don't do that ™ and he seems less so in later comics. like he beats himself up a ton for nearly beating the joker to death but in later nightwing issues he's fine with people getting hit by ricochet when they are shooting at him and it is unclear if he maybe causes this guy to get hit by lightning, which kills him (but he had to do it to save a baby). i guess like with tomasi's run on nightwing and late new earth continuity, he just seems in general unconcerned with the whole debate and like. he doesn't use lethal force b/c that's not what you do, but he also doesn't let himself get too concerned about it, and when he was in NTT it was very much just. those are the rules (like tim)

damian's rhetoric starts out opposite from everyone's because killing your enemies is just what you do. like not even out of malice if writers are keeping anything consistent from the original LoS/LoA goal it should be to save people/the world. and he evolves from there. post R:SoB, fter his character arc, he seems to be one of the more anti-killing members of the batfam, probably behind cass, and a lot of it is based in the belief in people to change and his own feeling of guilt and empathizing with the people they fight because! Why was I any different from them? (he does not accept that he was a kid as a reason for why he should be held less responsible). and it's not just a case of 'not killing people b/c they are like me' he often tries to get them to reform. cass does this too.

and you have helena who is portrayed in batfam comics as like. having a super high body count but its fucking hilarious if you read her solo b/c she really doesn't. and she does kill 2 people in her solo, a lot of the time it seems to be based on even if they are a bad person and by her rhetoric they deserve to die, how she is feeling when it is going down. like she was going to rescue one of the guys responsible for killing her parents before he said something indicating he was intending on using her or something that triggered her (I can't remember the exact dialogue) which like what an IDIOT. and she also killed a serial killer, but i believe she felt personally responsible for the serial killer since she had inadvertently provided him with the means to escape from prison and failed to stop him before. i feel like even if she goes in a situation thinking "I am definitely going to kill this guy" she does not always do it, and frequently she can lean to leniency barring external circumstances. but she doesn't consider herself as someone who considers killing automatically wrong, even though there isn't a ton of things different from her situation than from dick or babs's, both of whom who have either been ready to kill people or been unconcerned if people they were fighting died or both.

and then obviously you have jason who is very pro-murder (i'm only going w/ pre flashpoint continuity b/c that's the one i've read more of), who does not care if people who aren't 100% deserving to die by his standards are killed by him (he kills drug dealers w/o giving them a chance to follow his rules to intimidate people or b/c he has no need of them after consolidating his power, he poisons people he can't control who he is poisoning in prison, causing many people to die -- both of these written by winick, generally regarded as the 'good' pre FP jason writer), because he is acting from a place of trauma and pain but believes that if he can control crime correctly he can 'fix' things -- but his reasoning is very based on his own personal experiences and not in compassion for others, or at least the people he allegedly is helping are very abstract and not real for him. and like. it's an interesting character trait because LOTS of batfam members' motives aren't really even tied into compassion when talking about not killing (dick's aren't, tim's aren't, babs's aren't), and some also have their personal experiences highly motivating them (babs, cass, damian).

i realize that steph is not on here but she is also like. really changing based on the writer (so do the others, but her evolution felt harder to track). i feel like pre batgirl-ing, she definitely feels some people deserve to die and might kill someone in anger if they reminded her of her dad and no one stopped her. batgirling, her writing is different, the writer wants to portray her as a little 'softer', more based on hope, but the writer does not actually show us how she changed, which is frustrating.

anyway i just think they're all so interesting and i love them

[lordwisteria]

Going off that “Jason Todd should be Catholic” post I reblogged....this is so ridiculously niche lol but I need to get it off my chest....Jason Todd is so Ronan Lynch coded

Traumatic reaction to violence that unexpectedly changed them forever, into darker and harder versions of themselves

Molten eyes and a smile made for war!!!

How do you live if you think you were maybe supposed to be dead?

How do you kill yourself again and again, even if it keeps you alive?

Just to get it out of the way yes Gansey died and came back but Jason and Gansey are like the least alike of anyone

Complicated relationship with a parent they once adored

Inexplicable magic that is difficult to explain and makes their lives harder (Like everything about Ronan/Jason coming back to life and the Pit)

General asshole who actually does care a lot

Cared the MOST about one person (Gansey) and slowly came to care about everyone else; fighting and clawing their way back into their own families

It is about RAGE and REGRET. FEAR and FORGIVENESS. It is BEING THE MONSTER AND ASKING FOR LOVE ANYWAY

Ok but. But but. Are there any other parallels? You could go the Lynch brothers route (Dick as Declan, Tim or Damian as Matthew, Bruce as a complicated and dead Niall whose obsessions killed him without considering what it would leave behind for his sons). But I think this really only considers the characters relationships with Jason, not who they are as a person. IF we are looking at who they are instead of their relationships (so yes this does not consider romantic/platonic/blahblah):

It would be easy to say Dick is Gansey. They have the same name, are ~leaders~, and are canonically the prettiest princess in any room. I get it and maybe in the Titans you'd be right, but here, Bruce is Gansey. He is the one with the quest! He is the one driving things forwards and bringing the others along. He's the one with the family name and the family wealth and the family home. He went through something traumatic as a child that irrevocably changed him, fueled his intense guilt and obsession. He brought the group together, and yet feels left behind by them. Someone who cares deeply about the people immediately around him, and yet will not stop pursuing his other goals even if it's hurting them or himself. Obsessed, I think, with proving that he deserves to be here.

Which means that Dick...is Adam Parrish. Like. The constant search for independence. The perfectionism. The bad relationship with his father that forced him to need to be his own man. (Sorry real Bruce but you sucked in batman #416) Loving someone so much and yet always thinking the worst of them. Refusing to be a burden and yet accepting any yoke that comes his way. The intensity of the performance, of pretending to be who you wish you were for the people you care about. Taking on responsibilities because there is literally no other choice, nothing else you could do. Picking the best of your options and knowing that none for them are to rest easy. Valuing freedom so much and giving up your literal body for the quest.

PLUS (less perfect but): Cass as Henry Cheng (and not just bc they are both asian do not look at me like that) Narrative outsider who was watching from afar and put themselves in the narrative. Was molded by shady parent's shady business practices. Was put in a situation as a child they should not have had to endure, which challenged their beliefs and shaped them anew. And maybe like, later Tim as Noah, a bright, fun, young kid on a skateboard who gets himself involved in something too big for him and is undeniably damaged by it. Tim isn't betrayed by someone the way Noah is, but he's kind of...betrayed by the narrative, in a way? Betrayed by the adventure that he thought he was getting. Too clever for his own good, but sometimes naive about people. Lowkey a mirror that lets people see whatever they want to see lol

(I don't see super clear parallels for anyone else lol but I did have a fun time with the thought of Damian as Blue (short/down to fight/has another family/environmentalist/kind of feels fundamentally alienated as someone who is not like everyone else/wears green))

[coffincanary]

happy dff dove!!!! how do you think punishment/reward in john and dean's relationship evolved over the years as dean grew up and john got older?

Thank you for the ask rae, happy DFF!! I had to think about this quite a bit because this ask definitely gave me brainworms <3 It's pretty explicitly stated that John never beat his children, but I do think, especially for kid Dean, he'd use a lot of physical punishment. Dean was always pretty obedient, but he was still a kid and so he'd make mistakes, sometimes intentional, sometimes not, and I don't think in a world where good intentions can get you killed John was particularly forgiving. So, when child Dean messed up, especially in his duties to protect Sam, John would force him to do a lot of physical exercise, push Dean to his limits. They'd do fight training until four in the morning, with Dean barely able to stand by the end of it, bruised and hurting all over. And John would be especially rough on Dean during those sessions, going at Dean as if his son was an actual opponent, not hesitating in slamming him onto the ground or putting him in a chokehold - because he needs Dean to understand that they aren't invincible, that they can get hurt and that his son always needs to be aware of that. As Dean gets older, there is much less need to really punish him for anything. Dean is like a soldier, militant and watchful and with a knack for perfectionism that makes Dean punish himself more than John ever could. They still do their training routine for the occasional time that Dean messes up, and Dean takes that without complaining. As for reward, I think John was very sparse with it. He would praise Dean very rarely, but that also meant that the praise was much more meaningful for Dean when he did get it. It made Dean crave any type of praise/reward from his father. The reward aspect is a part of their father/son relationship and John initially tries to keep that seperate from their romantic/sexual relationship, but he ends up failing miserably because you can't really seperate that when your love for your sonwife is so deeply tied to the fact that he is your son. So, it'd begin seeping into the bedroom. John would probably start rewarding Dean, slipping his hand between Dean's thighs on the drive back from a hunt, or muttering soft praises into Dean's ear while fucking him on the backseat. Actual punishment, as rare as it is, is the only thing that John forces himself to keep seperate from their romance. He doesn't kiss Dean after, he refrains from caressing the bruising he's caused, they're just quiet until they get back to the motel. John still doesn't stop Dean from snuggling up after, but nothing sexual happens at least until the day after, and it's only then that John will let his lips kiss the darker spots on Dean's skin.

[what-even-is-thiss]

Off of your post about grades— I think especially something that goes wrong for gifted kids is if school is Their One Thing that they’re good at. Because personally like. School was the one thing I actually did well in and it was generally the only thing I got praised for. So if I do badly at school, then I’m bad at the only thing I’m good at, then I’m not good at anything and have no worth. Very easy toxic mindset and one that is very hard to escape. Definitely still not out of it yet

Yeah I know all that. I'm a former gifted kid myself and have experienced a lot of the angst that goes along with that. I also think that former gifted kids have a tendency to brush aside the issues that other types of people have had with the school system. And people who aren't former gifted kids see former gifted kids as people who whine a lot for no reason. Especially the ones who received the exact same pressure from their family and teachers but could never actually reach the kind of grades that would satisfy anyone. So they get the exact same panic disorder and obsession with perfectionism without the rewards that come along with good grades like scholarships or the approval of their parents. Like imagine if you had worked your ass off your whole life and nearly killed yourself trying to get good grades and you still could only ever manage a C average and your parents are always on you about it. And then imagine one of your friends says they feel "really stupid" for getting 89% on a test.

That person that just got 89% on the test likely has a valid reason why they want or need a higher grade than that. But that does not stop that attitude from hurting the people around them. And also, if the person with the C average ends up feeling resentful towards the person lamenting anything south of 110% and fails to see why this attitude is hurting their classmate, this is also bad. Nobody actually wins in this system.

[k-she-rambles]

Some Nuggets (not quotes) from reading Fumio Sasaki's Goodbye Things and Hello Habits:

• don't pretend to have time you don't really have, or you'll find yourself missing out on the things that are truly important to you. 24 hours minus the things that are most important to you is how much time you REALLY have

• failure should not cause too much shame, which prevents you from trying again.

• too much shame can come from assigning emotional meanings, fate, destiny, or the will of God to failures. A lot of the time it's better to simply say to yourself "that didn't work." Or even better to ask what you can try differently next time.

• Aim to fail as many times as possible. Seek a high volume of failures and be merciless in killing perfectionism. If you are failing many times, it means you are trying hard, trying often, and trying many things, and that's nothing but good! Ceramics students asked to make 40 mugs for their final grade made better mugs than the students asked to make one masterful one.

• Maintaining the habits you want to build is less about doing them, and more about coming back to do them again after you wander off. It's like refocusing on your breath after your mind wanders while meditating. What does returning look like for you?

• the things we own are sometimes things we enjoy, but somtimes they're meant to tell a story about ourselves to other people instead.

• The two big questions to ask while downsizing are: "do I like owning this, or do I like what owning this says about me?" And: "do I want to discard this, or do I like what getting rid of it says about me?" (Asking the latter helps guard against pride)

• Quit at 80% effort ‐‐people aren't very good at knowing when to stop, and it's just as easy to overextend as it is to be lazy. "A small daily task will beat the labors of a sporadic Hercules."

• Nature vs Nurture is like asking if the area of a field depends more on the length or the width. You play the hand you're dealt, but life is the kind of card game where you pass the cards, too.

• Some people do have natural advantages! If your family is full of doctors, you have a sense that becoming a doctor is a thing that possible to want or achieve. Some people have to teach themselves that things are possible.

• However, people that do believe or teach themselves to believe in the possibility of change tend to reach for things that people who believe only in nature or only in nurture don't.

• you use endurance when you don't have an immediate reward for the price you paid. You've suffered and endured, and you feel like you deserve a treat, since there wasn't an inherent reward.

• Effort, in contrast, does compensate you. It compensates you slowly, but it compensates you steadily. The true meaning of "do what you love and you'll never work a day" is "prioritize effort over endurance." ("A small daily task will beat the labors of a sporadic Hercules.")

• a knack for something is a natural ability for something. A talent is the skills and capacities you get from continuing to do it.

• Both a knack and a talent are valuable, but the one who pursues talent by continuing to try may overtake someone with a neglected knack (even if the knack is a significant advantage at the start). We all have different capabilities, but we learn to paint the same way we learn to tie our shoes as kids

• Ask yourself "is this object or habit paying me rent, or is it a freeloader?"

[meat-wentz]

hi hello, im in fob but don't know much about them other than like the music from 1st album to uhh american psycho, so i just wanted to ask if you'd tell me your thoughts on them (no pressure, i just found your fob posts really intriguing and kinda wanna learn more)

omgggg!!! yes!!! i adore them as people, especially because they don’t shy away from being complicated, they are a band that has been completely heart-on-their-sleeve honest about who they are, even when that vulnerability has generally garnered them ridicule and cruelty. they wear contradiction well, one of the few bands i think that truly understands the allure of contradiction. that they were suburban kids forged in the fires of the chicago hardcore scene, kids who fled those neighborhoods where they never quite fit in to the solace of loud thrashing basements, places where they still never quite fit in. that they started fall out boy for fun, a pop-punk passion project between pete and joe that became the band that changed their lives and legacies and brought us all together for the past 21 years. that all their paths had crossed through other bands, weaving in and out of the scene, but there was something magic about the fact that they ended up together, that precise configuration of people making music together. that all four of them were looking for something in band after band after band, but they didn’t find it until they found each other. they contradict their roots with their sound, their sound with patrick’s voice, their melodies with pete’s lyrics. their love and their hate, their public personas and the vulnerability of their music. their tenderness and their sharpness. they understand contradiction, i think, better than anyone.

i think another thing that i like about them is that they have been so open about their flaws and they have always been conscious about how that kind of vulnerability could foster backlash, scorn, and discomfort. pete has not only been open about being bipolar, his suicide attempt, the failures of relationships and friendships, but also the effects of being a person in a culture that demands so much from you, that wants to see your failure on the big screen. patrick has always been open about his self-doubt, his anger, the strain of perfectionism, how anxiety-inducing being so visible has been, how sometimes he doesn’t know how to handle that. joe has always been open about feeling creatively overlooked, about his anxiety, his depression, and his OCD, about the toll the journey has taken and how much work has been required to accept it. and andy is so fucking loyal, who’s stated he’s in this for life, he’s been so firm and strong in his beliefs and how living a life like this is challenging, and he’s genuinely so motivational without necessarily even meaning to be. they are fiercely dedicated to each other, they’ve always come to the others’ defense. people will call them sell outs, but they have always always always been underdogs, hated by the mainstream, their own scene, their own fanbase, but they always stayed true.

also they’re just FUN GUYS. when they were younger lads they talked about hot girls with the hushed giggles of bashful boys who have just entered 6th grade. they play pranks on each other (also watch pete getting punk’d by the band into thinking he killed santa claus in front of kids), they had a friend named dirty who toured with them just to throw himself off of ledges and take nut shots, i’ve seen pete drink his own pee by his own twisted games more times than i wish to count like *why* is his pee that color, i’ve seen him jump off of a roof and bother his mom while patrick helped her with groceries, he signs things petey and peter and peterpan and peterrabbit and blogged with a fervor i can’t even compare to and i’ve been on tumblr for 14 years. they bully each other like siblings and bicker like an old married quadruple and they are brothers and best friends and they’ve finally learned BOUNDARIES (i’m so happy for them). they are charming and sweet and funny dudes and most of all they are just some guys like they’re very very normal but they’re also weird girls i just love them!!! theyre my best friends we have been holding hands for most of my life. i hope this answered you’re question i am looking at it now and i did. not. mean. to type this much. i feel like i rambled so if you’re looking for more of a like cohesive history post or a lore post i can do that too just shoot me another message! THANK YOU FOR SENDING THIS ASK I LOVE TALKING ABOUT MY BEST FRIENDS FALL OUT BOY.

[mtngh0ul]

headcanon stuff, categorised, (some) to be expanded.

GENERAL:

shoes? begone. but you knew this, it's one of the quick ways to identify mtn

he smokes weed lol

mtn has his own plant that he grows for personal reasons. he doesn't share. also good luck finding it lmao he hid it well

sober vs high mtn is hard to distinguish. the only tells are a few more stifled laughs than his usual (very occasional) ones, more intense munchies, and bloodshot eyes in human form

he also has a garden that he works on and maintains

that garden is his pride and joy and he will not have your shenanigans in there, you try it and this 8'9 monstrosity will toss you out like a ragdoll

some of his plants have names.

he can and has killed. he's a ghoul bro, what do you want from him

^ clarification: he almost only kills in self-defence. and protecting his cryptid identity to outsiders of the ministry

his adhd is mostly in the form of object permanence; sometimes he just forgets where he puts things, and especially if they aren't in their usual designated spot. he also tends to hyperfocus on the things he likes the most - aka drumming, gardening, and cooking. he doesn't mean to ignore you, he's just wrapped up in his hobbies

he's not easy to anger. he's very, aha, grounded. he gets a tad irritated if you mess with his stuff (stop messing with his cymbals smh) but he doesn't snap - it's more like an eye roll before he swats you away

since he didn't really join the band until roughly may-june 2017 (after ivy had filled the gap between pebble and mountain), mtn had plenty of time to just. hone his skills. since he was always going to be drummer, he'd practice whenever he was free

(he also knows guitar, but he much prefers drums)

RITUALS / STAGE PRESENCE:

oh, you think he is not one to join in shenanigans? he is. it doesn't take much encouragement from swiss and sodo (and sometimes the other ghouls) for him to tag along with them, like in the sweet home alabama moment

on tour, mtn makes the band some sandwiches so they can get a bit of energy back in their post-rituals. they're not anything fancy but food is food

mtn always has, like, 3 bottles of water when they're on-stage. he loses a lot of water because he's drenched in sweat by the end

after some time being in the band, mtn has learned that he should not be yeeting his drumsticks at terminal velocity to the crowd at the end, lest he get someone hurt. he knows better now. he only tosses them when he wants to get one further away from the barricade

mtn doesn't go out of his way to be the centre of attention, and doesn't mind being in his drumkit cage for the majority of a ritual. that being said...

when he IS the centre of attention, he makes the most of it. those drums are getting an absolute beating with a solo and he'll make it known why he's the drummer for the band

IN THE MINISTRY:

he's a PHENOMENAL cook and i won't take criticism on this

when he's making a meal for himself, it varies between a restaurant quality meal complete with a side dish... or a sandwich. depends on his effort

he rarely goes out of his way to do this for others

he's definitely not head chef or anything, but he's a valuable addition in the kitchen because he strives for perfectionism. the food must be done Just Right. he's also probably one of the best people to ask if you have specific requirements, just make sure he writes it down

mtn has a sorta menace metre that fills the more he has to act responsible for the other ghouls. it eases during rituals because he can be a little chaotic on-stage, but if he's at the ministry for extended periods, it's a ticking time bomb. once it's filled, don't be surprised to see this cryptid hunched over at the end of a hallway with eyes glowing and haunting any of the sisters that come past

(sometimes the cardinals / papas too)

he used to spook a lot of kids when he first joined the ministry (especially when he wasn't in his more humanoid form), but they soon learned that he's not that scary when you get to know him

[nonhumen]

my headcanons about dazai's childhood leading up to being found by mori at fourteen (contains mentions of self-harm and suicide. read at your own discrestion) :

**note that i have not read no longer human and so will be deriving most of these hcs from irl dazai's life and my own personal interpretation of him. this is purely self-indulgent with very little canon examples to back any of it up. but this is how i portray my dazai and some things in here will be mentioned going forward.

born as tsushima shuuji on june 19 to tsushima gen'emon and tsushima tane. he is an only child.

the tsushima family was actually quite wealthy and held a lot of power. yes, dazai was a rich kid. gen'emon is also a diet member and so it was a very strict and feudal household.

dazai got next to no parental love as a child for two reasons: 1.) his mother had a chronic illness since dazai was three and was bedridden for the rest of her life. he was basically told not to disturb his mother at all. 2.) gen'emon worked long hours as a politician and when he did come home he was either too tired to take care of dazai or would focus on taking care of his wife instead. this is the first step towards dazai's alienation from humanity.

this also means that he was basically taken care of by the family servants. taken care of, not raised, for they did not know how to handle a child like dazai.

dazai has undiagnosed schizoid personality disorder. this means he has a very limited range of emotional expression and has trouble forming personal connections. so even when the servants did try to reach out to him, dazai did not know how to reciprocate. it was easier to just clothe and feed him instead of trying to actually interact with him. by age five he already had a reputation for being and odd / strange child.

his high intellect and observation skills manifested at a very young age. as soon as he began to understand language, he was observing and understanding the world. he was great at puzzles, riddles, and mathematics. he was called a child genius to offset his strange demeanor. at age six he was placed in a school for (intellectually) gifted children.

now in a social situation with peers and not just in his family home, dazai's alienation became even worse. he was different from kids his age as well. he didn't get happy or excited like they did. it was impossible to reach out to them, to make any sort of meaningful connection. he started getting nicknames at school: the doll, the robot, the machine -- all things not human. not even organic.

dazai was under a lot of pressure to succeed. he was the only heir to the tsushima name. his personality disorder was passed off as an eccentricity of a genius mind. he was told he was going to do great things in the future. that he was going to run the country some day. this is where his perfectionism developed as well as his need to lie as a defense mechanism. he simply could not disappoint anyone.

this was when his depression started to manifest which only made him retreat further into himself. by age nine he was cutting himself just to see if he could bleed.

dazai's first suicide attempt was not actually meant to kill him but to bring him close to death. it was a desperate attempt to seek his father's love. his father always cared about tending to his sick wife more than parenting dazai and so he believed that if he were to also be on death's door then he would finally win his father's attention. he tries to drown himself in the river when the water level is relatively low.

but his plan backfires completely. instead of love, dazai was met with cold anger. his attempted suicide brought shame to the family name and gave his father unwanted publicity. dazai was disowned that night and cut off from any support. he had just turned fourteen.

he's on the streets for a week, trying to get away from his hometown because he still doesn't want to disappoint his father. in this time, dazai becomes disillusioned with life and his own existence. he no longer sees the point of trying after he gave and gave and gave his whole life only to be turned away. seeing his father fight to keep his mother alive though she was suffering from an illness also instilled his values of death in him. that death is just another part of life, that the two coexist to make up the entire experience of being alive. he does not understand why his father would keep his mother suffering by making her live.

dazai tries to take his life in earnest by hanging. an ability user finds him and tries to saving him using his ability. no longer human activates for the first time, stopping the gifted from rescuing him. dazai wakes up in mori's clinic, dehydrated and malnourished from his time on the streets. he's bound under suicide watch and mori offers him a deal: do exactly what he says and he will mix a cocktail that will peacefully kill him. dazai agrees. the rest is history.

[reiiieii]

OCD and Perfectionism, what’s the difference? But…it’s mostly about OCD.

Many people think they have OCD, while they’re actually perfectionists, or they think they’re perfectionists while they actually have OCD.

This is a post for you to educate yourself on this topic and know which one’s about you, from a person who actually has OCD!

OCD:

Have you ever written a word, and erased it because it felt bad?

Have you ever felt severely uncomfortable because you stepped on the black part of the pedestrian crossing?

Seems like a pretty OCD thing mate!

People with OCD are often germophobes as well, I’ll give you some examples.

1. You’re saying hi to someone, and they shake your hand, you start feeling dirty, and very uncomfortable, even though their hands weren’t necessary dirty.

2. Constantly washing your hands.

3. I personally won’t drink water from the same bottle someone else did.

4. Another thing I do, making sure everything is definitely clean.

(When I was a little kid, I used to have one of those gels that kill germs on your hands that I would take everywhere.)

Another thing is even numbers (2,4,6,8,10,) and for some reason 3 and 15????

(Also, many of us have favourite numbers as well.)

You may ask, “Jane what. Why numbers????”

Well!

I, for an example do things a couple times, (2,3,4,6,8,10,15) like tying my shoes! Or saying something to myself a couple times.

And much, much more.

Phobias, another thing.

People with OCD are considered neurodivergent, with means that we also have hyperfixations and severe phobias.

Phobias, so severe, that we can’t do anything about them.

It’s mostly

1. Germophobia

2. Emetophobia

Things like that.

Some people also have ticks!

I was misdiagnosed with Tourettes when I was like seven.

Because those “ticks” might sometimes look like those that people with Tourettes experience, but there’s one thing that makes it different - people with OCD can mask (resist those “ticks”).

They are very often linked to intrusive thoughts, AKA thoughts telling you to do something or else…

Like “turn on the light 4 times or else you’ll get a bad grade”

But this is just an example, many people get much worse or elses but I will not list them to not trigger anyone, and I’ll greatly appreciate not writing any in the comments, thanks!

Perfectionism:

Have you ever seen a thing so asymmetrical that you wanted to stab your eyes out?

You might’ve thought “Hey, that seems like a problem!”

Well…you weren’t wrong!

Perfectionism is not fun, but one of the things that make it different from OCD - you can look away and go on with your day without constantly feeling stress and panicking every second.

Perfectionism is something that’s not a disorder, meanwhile OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder)is.

Perfectionism is when you’re cutting cucumber into perfect squares, or when you’re cleaning the kitchen and sort everything by colours or sizes, when you draw a perfect line or a perfect circle.

Perfectionist characters are often shown as people who care about aesthetics and details, meanwhile characters with OCD are often shown as… well, freaks!

Perfectionist or OCD characters:

DTK from Soul Eater -

I was thinking about it for a long time, and at first I decided that he’s a perfectionist, but then I realised that his obsession about symmetry is way too big for him to just prefer that things look perfect.

Also, remember his obsession about number 8!

I personally think that he has OCD.

I also love him.

Monica Geller -

Same as DTK, I thought that she’s a perfectionist, but in one of the episodes with Richard she was talking about the “weird obsessions she has” which instantly made me realise she has OCD, and most likely is a perfectionist as well.

I personally think she has OCD.

Teru Mikami - Has Repetitive Behaviors And Compulsions!

For an example, there’s a scene in which he says repeatedly the word delete. I know this from the article linked below.

(Something that I also have, btw) he has OCD!

Levi Ackerman -

I’ve heard that throughout the whole series we can see his obsession over cleaning, which is often associated with OCD, but, the thing is… I never watched AOT, so I think he’s a perfectionist. Why? Because just because he’s cleaning a lot doesn’t mean he has OCD. Maybe it’ll change when I watch it and actually see for myself?

Aoyama from Keppeki Danshi! Aoyama-Kun -

I’ve heard…yes again, heard.

I did not watch it, maybe I will.

But! He is a germophobe, yes, on the OCD scale.

I personally think he has ocd

Kita Shinosuke -

“Kita tends to stick to a handful of daily routines, such as cleaning or practicing at specific times. He's stated that everything that happens to him is the result of upkeeping his routines.” …is what Google says. (I linked the article below)

Superstitions are also a big part of OCD.

I personally think he has OCD!

Thanks a lot for listening! -Jane

[shallowseeker]

in regards to your bad dad Sam post, I think given the fact he's softened John's image in his head as an adult, he'd be more likely to spank a kid than dean?? like it's implied dean got more physical abuse than sam but sam also reacted when one of John's friends said he'd have taken the boys to the woodshed that one time so sam definitely Got It too. and as he's aged he's started veiwing the past as more 'john was a good dad who did what he could' so I think if his kid did something like stupidly dangerous he'd go for spanking. basically Jack needs to watch his step lol

I was honestly being lighthearted, hehe, but on a serious note, if there was a sequel, Sam would have to screw up, despite good intentions. That’s just good storytelling. :)

But yeah, maybe! I’d certainly like to see that come out in response to the everyday struggles of life, right? But really, I can imagine Sam falling back into “normal life” with his kid like he originally did with Jessica Moore: hiding. “She doesn’t know, and she’ll never find out.”

It’s hard for me to imagine him taking an active authoritarian role or becoming John II, but what I can imagine is Sam yo-yo-ing between allowing too much freedom/trying to be a friend/mentor interspersed with rigidity and perfectionism.

I think of how Claire considered Sam “the cool one,” and how in Ladies Drink Free, when he tried to switch to authority mode, his switch totally threw her:

///

As for spanking…I don’t see either of them as being prone to that, I don’t think. I feel like Dean defaults to rejection/banishment, but the way he used a gun to try to stun Jack out of choking a gas station worker was akin to a whoopin, (though it was done to prevent that poor clerk’s neck from cracking).

I’m not sure about Sam, to be honest! I think he wouldn’t spank so much as accidentally get a little rough in the name of protection, like how Dean shoved Ben Braeden in season 6. And Sam would have to really be spun out/backed into a corner.

///

On the other hand, Sam being accidentally pushy and critical is something I can see more easily. They can both be sharper than they intend to be with words, like when Dean was “trying to joke around,” and hurt Jack’s feelings:

///

I think overall, Sam might try very hard and accidentally lapse into micromanaging the business of parenting, especially if he were working overtime to hide hunting world.

If Sam defaults to hiding the truth, he might get sharp about dangers in a way that could confuse his child or, like with Claire, feel like strange whiplash.

He might also be prone to pushing said child to perform and take advantage of “all the opportunities he himself never had.” I can see Dean II getting crushed under the weight of overachievement and having a big reversal-freak out-meltdown at some point.

If Dean II found out about the hunting world, I can see it playing out with parallels to Patience Turner and her dad. Dean II would be primed to dive into the hunting life due to the well-intentioned lies and the pressure to “succeed.” Sam might say accidentally condescending stuff like:

“Dean, I made it into Harvard all on my own. I didn’t have any help. I’d have killed to have the resources you do. lots of kids would. You’d be stupid to throw all this away!”

[wackus-bonkus-maximus]

Ayo more weeb nonsense comin' your way Adrien and Marinette song - Awoken by Divide Music

ilefwaihfeaijfeawj this is a good one

"i closed my eyes to remember a time before/ when i awoke, the demons i faced were lying on the floor" DAMN this hits hard. it's giving revenge. it's giving murder. it's giving marinette flying into a rage and killing her enemies (those who hurt adrien). "but what if i’m a failure? and nothing can be done?" <- marinette's innter battle :(( she struggles with perfectionism and morality as it is. in regards to adrien, her greatest virtues can become her deepest faults.

"like a thunderclap something had awoken deep inside" omg that's good! it's giving odnlb chapter 25!! and all the times before that when horror just strikes the poor two kids lol.

[kabishkat19]

Two questions:

How long it will take you to finish the Disney next gen series?

How do you improve your art faster? I want to improve but perfectionism and procrastination is killing me!

1. I have a list of Disney animated couples that a plan on drawing their kids for, basically once I’ve finished them all I’ll move on to something else.

2. I 💯% understand the perfectionism and procrastination, some of the designs of couples and kids take longer then others purely because I’ll be going over and over trying to make it perfect, sometimes it’s good to put the picture down and walk away for a bit and come back later, or have some else’s eyes remind you that it’s good.

There’s also no shame in coming back and redoing the picture if the result isn’t what you like, I do it all the time; some of the Disney Oc kid designs I think of redrawing😅