#kind of not really but also its exactly that

[strwberri-milk]

Ooo! I saw that u were looking for lnds requests<33 don't mind if I do!

If you can- I'd like to request for zayne and rafayel if you don't mind- with a fem!reader That's high maintenance(with the skincare routine or hair, body care. Like the girly girls) who's had this mindset of "gotta work hard because my lifestyle is too expensive for me". They're also like to compliment other girls and call them pet names like "sweetie, babe, sweetheart, etc."

I just like to know how'd they treat if MC was like that-

Take your time and drink water! Love ya♡♡♡

tbh its girls like this that singlehandedly rescue me from my own internalised misogyny one sweet word at a time

Zayne likes that you have consistent routines that you follow and ambition to work hard. It's similar to the way that he lives his life so it's attractive to him to have someone who models the same principles he lives by. However, just know that nothing is too expensive for him if it comes to you. He doesn't want to see you work yourself into the ground to afford something that he knows you more than deserve and he will routinely surprise you with supplies if you start running low.

He's also a little afraid to ruin anything if you've finished your daily glam. He'll be careful not to get too close to your face or hair, knowing that you work hard to present yourself in a way that makes you feel the most beautiful and he'd be very disappointed with himself if he somehow messed it up. You tease him sometimes about it, telling him that it's not a big deal and he doesn't need to treat you like you're fragile.

Not only that but he loves how big your heart is. You go out of your way to make other people's days and he can't help but smile whenever you excitedly run over to tell someone that you think their shirt is cool or that you love their shoes. Knowing that he's the recipient of love from someone as kind as you always brightens his day and he'll never tire of hearing you tell him about your day and all the people you met.

Rafayel is very similar. He doesn't have an intensive skin care routine but it's definitely there and he is particular about the way his hair looks on certain days. He's primarily picky about how his clothes work so sometimes getting out of the house can be an endeavour for the both of you if neither of you can find exactly the right outfit that you want to wear.

He's nowhere near as friendly as you are but can come off as flirty which means his interactions with strangers is a little different than yours. He never uses pet names for people that can be skewed as something romantic - that's just not his style personally. He doesn't always get upset when you use pet names for strangers but if it's one he decides is specifically his - either a reference to him or just your favourite pet name for him - then he'll get pouty and refuse to give you attention until 1) he cracks or 2) you promise to not use that name with other people. It's always playful and you know he isn't really genuinely upset about it but you do try to keep his preferences in mind because you'd hate to actually hurt his feelings.

Similarly to Zayne nothing is too expensive for him. He doesn't mind that you work hard but he doesn't want you to neglect other aspects of your life to afford the things you like. He'll routinely buy refills for supplies you're running low on or new ones that you've been eyeing. He's definitely the type of boyfriend who'll pay for your nails and hair if you just breathe a word of it towards him without thinking - and give you more than enough to tip the staff.

[i-yap]

Hey, love your writing!

I was wondering what it would be like with Jason and reader who is also a hero/vigilante meta. What would their dynamic be? I love the idea of them working/fighting together maybe even retiring together.

Sorry I'm a little late in posting, Meetings and big girl jobs blah blah

Jason x vigilante!s/o

I always shipped Jason with civillian s/o so I can either see him with a healing powers or "softer" power's hero , A scientific genius or someone who really just wants to retire too but feels like they have no out.

If you are out there fighting, He is worried, almost unbearingly so. The only person in the batfam I can see with vigilante s/o is dick I'm sorry. Jason is very protective. Too protective for someone who constantly puts themselves in danger so It just wont work. They will keep interrupting your work, His stress levels will be higher and your frustration will drive you insane.

Now if you had softer powers( helping with growing plants, manipulating emotions, healing, talking to animals, telepathy ) and weren't directly in the line of fire..he acts like your guard dog. Example- if you have healing powers he wont let people misuse your kindness and keep making you use your powers to heal even small injuries even though it exhausts you. He will be brick wall between you and whoever dares to even think about exploiting you. And when you do retire, you do it to use your powers to directly benefit the civilians rather than just being a tool for the leagues.

If you are scientific genius, its like the brain and the brawn and it s adorable. Sure jason is argues he is both the brain and the brawn to which you reply "Well I'm the charming personality and the winning smile" and he really cant argue with that. He loves how smart you are and calls you his little nerd ( even though he is equally nerdy but he is more literature smart I feel) He also gets to test out your brand new inventions ( fun guns) to which he gets excited like a kid on Christmas. He wont let you overwork yourself and constantly remind you to take days off to spend with him( don't worry he gives plenty incentives) He is also the biggest distraction ever. You guys may retire to teach in university( JASON AS LITERATURE PROFESSOR AGENDA FOREVER) and become the professors in love( the students ship)

This isnt exactly what you asked but these are just my thoughts tbh. Im sorry I just cant see jason with a full on fighter s/o ...man deserves soft domestic loving and a little peace and quiet in his life.

[amoremainslayer]

Oh imagine this!

You and Ricky are in an FWB type relationship. But from the start you loved Ricky and hoped he had the same feelings for you... One day you dared to express your feelings while talking to him alone in the school bathroom and also said sorry. "Rui, I'm sorry for crossing the line, I couldn't control my love for you:(". You said that while holding his slender fingers tightly as if afraid he would really leave you.

Fingers Intertwined

Pairing : Shen ricky x fem!reader

Genre: Angst, smut

Warnings: Sad sex, fwb, semi-public sex.

A/N: I didn't know what exactly you wanted so i just mixed angst with smut, hope thats alright. Its barely any smut tho😭😭

The sound of the door falling into the lock echoed through the room, but the blackhaired guy infront of you was the only thing you could think about. He seemed perfect, atleast to you. You admired the way his hair fell down his pale skin perfectly, his sharp nose and his deep eyes.

His demeanor, way of loving, laughing or hating made you admire him. It awakened a deep sense of longing in you, that you wished didn't exist. Because to him, you were mere lust. A soulless doll to fulfill his desires. You were like a forbidden froot, something so desireable yet dangerous, that it had to be kept secret.

You knew that what the two of you had going on, was a mere agreement to fulfill eachothers lust. To let go of the stress that builds up because of school and work. You knew that after you'd spend endless nights together, acting like lovers and worshipping eachothers body's, you'd still be just friends.

Yet deep in you, there was hope. Hope that all those sweet words he coaxed you with were not just meanless words. That the way he cared for you, touched you and made you feel like the most loved person, wasn't just because he wanted your body.

You hoped, that what he desired wasn't the monotonous shell you lived in, but your beating heart. The heart, that was beating for him.

"Why did you call me?" His deep voice pulled you out of your trance and you blinked a couple of times. Thinking about confessing always seemed so easy, but with Ricky now standing infront of you, it felt like your throat was tied up.

"I.." You trailed off, eyes watching as his slender statue leaned against the sink "I want to break off our agreement" You said, looking into his eyes in hope of seeing any kind of reaction.

His face remained indifferent, but you could see confusion in his eyes. He tilted his head softly "Why?" He spoke as he crossed his arms "Are you dating again?"

You could've sworn a hint of jealousy was laced between his words, but a look at his cold face left you doubting that. You gulped, your eyes flickering to the ground.

"No I.. I broke the rule" You whispered, barely audible to Ricky's ear. He raised a single eyebrow, pushing himself off the sink while staring down at you. Both of you knew what it meant, how could anyone of you ever forget?

The most important rule in your agreement ; Never, and absolutely never, fall in love with eachother. It was something the two of you have always taken alot of worth in.

It seemed so easy in the beginning. So easy to fuck deep into the night, all the stress fading into pleasure. But maybe it became harder, when those rough fucks became intimate love making. When those kisses didn't feel worthless anymore.

You blinked a couple of times, feeling tears well up your eyes "Rui I-I'm sorry I didn't mean to" You began stuttering, your hand searching for his slender fingers. You held onto them, panic rising up in your chest as the feeling of loosing him dawned on you.

You were too weak to look into his eyes, the fear of rejection leaving you staring at the floor. Only whine you felt his index finger beneath your chin, you looked up.

His demeanor was cold, but his eyes were full of emotion. Emotions you've never seen on him. It felt wrong, seeing the pity in his eyes. You wanted them to look at you like you were his one and only love, not like someone he pitys.

"You know I could never love you" He whispered, his breath hitting your cheek. Your heart ached at those words, the horrifying realization lingering deep in your veins. You knew he was right, how could he ever love someone like you?

And even if he did, it would've never worked out, right? The two of you were too different in each and every aspect of your existence.

He began kissing the tears of your cheeks, sadness lingering in the walls of the bathroom. You sobbed silently, fingers gripping onto his clothes like he was the last thing holding you on earth.

"It hurts" You whispered while your voice displayed pure vunerability and pain. His hands wandered to your waist, caressing it slowly as he spread his kissed down to your neck.

"It'll stop eventually love" He mumbled. There it was again, those loving words that lead you on. Were you really just a game to him? A doll he could play with until he leaves her in the corner of his room?

His pale fingers swiftly wandered beneath your skin, stroking along the fabric of your panties. Soft whimpers left your lips, your cheeks still stained with your tears.

"I'm sorry I couldn't control my love for you.." You mumbled, your body aching to be in his. He shushed you, slowly entering you with your fingers.

A moan left your lips as you cried again. Pain and pity filled your body. The feeling of your heart breaking in small peaces leaving your body pained. But you also felt pity. Pity for yourself, just as Ricky pitied you.

You managed to fall in love with a guy who would never love you back, leading you on. You knew what kind of pain was ahead of you. You knew that he wasn't good for you. Yet you were here, letting him use your body again after confessing your love to him.

You pitied yourself, but you were in love. And people in love, do the most horrifying things merely because their heart aches to be held by a certain person.

His finger stroked along your clit softly, luring gentle moans out of your mouth. You gripped onto his shoulders, letting your forehead rest in the crook of his neck as your tears stained his shirt.

With one last stroke thrust of his fingers, and one last stroke along your clit you finally came, reaching your high as a vunerable moan escaped your lips.

It would be the last one to be lurked out by Ricky, both of you knew that. Both of you knew that after this, you'd never talk again. Both of you knew that after this, he'd be living his life like normal, while you'd start your journey on healing.

He pulled his hand out of your pantie, his fingers wandering to your mouth to let you taste yourself. The sight of his sharp eyes looking down at you with such a caring, yet indifferent look confused you.

But what did you expect, Ricky wasn't someone to reveal his true emotions easily. He stroked your head softly, gazing into your eyes one last time.

"Don't hurt too much" He whispered, it made you believe he actually cared for you, but you knew it were empty words. With that he left you alone, your body leaning against the sink as you shattered completely.

Maybe it was meant to be, for him to break your heart and use you for the mere reason of lust. Maybe it was something to learn from, to move on from and use wisely in the future. But right now, it seemed like the only thing that could help you heal were his hands in yours, fingers interwined.

[natsmagi]

some more natsume gender posting but i do admittedly get very annoyed when i see people claim natsume hates things related to femininity because thats just. Blatantly not true. i did make a post a little while back talking about natsumes gender generally (might be a lil dated by now but eh), but there are some additional points id like to make

first thing being natsume very much enjoys more feminine things!! particularly things related to baking/gardening because thats what he would do with his mom when he was little!!!! (plus his newly added skill being cooking!)

with this and his undying love for his mom in mind, does it not make sense for natsume to hold feminine activities fondly? not only is he quite good at it, but it reminds him of his childhood spent with his mom!! he looks up to her alot!! and hes also thankful for the childhood he had because it makes him feel more unique. literally how does any of this read as a hatred towards femininity or his upbringing??? his mom is literally his number 1 inspiration and shes the reason he had this upbringing to begin with. Frankly the assumption that he hates feminine things just flat out does not make sense

and he doesnt even necessarily mind things like "-chan" either. though this one depends entirely on the person. for example kanata is allowed to call natsume nacchan but if tsumugi calls him natsume-chan blood will be spilt. to re-emphasize the point made in my previous post; natsumes biggest concern is being viewed as weak. he hates being infantilized more than anything. when tsumugi calls natsume "natsume-chan" thats not tsumugi feminizing natsume, thats tsumugi reminiscing on the child natsume he used to know. when tsumugi calls natsume "natsume-chan" it feels like hes not being taken seriously, that hes still viewed as a child, that he hasnt matured (which is also why he doesnt like being called "cute" bc. yknow. kids r cute). and this is a REALLY big insecurity of his. he hates being viewed as naive. In the same vein though, natsume is insecure about not being manly enough too (such as him viewing his inability to swim as "not manly"). Which is also a really interesting point of discussion when it comes to natsumes character! but its important to note that his insecurity in his masculinity does NOT translate to a hatred of femininity. natsumes relationship with gender is an incredibly nuanced one and its so frustrating when people dont even bother trying to read into it and just completely generalize his character

with that said natsume DOES have some internalized misogyny though. But this ones kinda hard to navigate as. well. Almost the entire cast has had some to a certain extent at some point. esp in the early stories. which could all just be bad writing. But it adds to the complexities of femininity and womanhood, how the two are often associated despite being distinct from one another. and with this distinction between the two it adds ANOTHER interesting layer to natsume and his own relationship with gender, because we know he didnt mind being raised as a girl (its just incredibly fucking embarrassing that people know about it), yet his views on gender seem kind of........ Conservative. with him assuming anzu is bad at games bc shes a girl, claiming arashis lying to kids by calling herself a princess, worried that people will view him as less of a man for being unable to swim, etc etc. Like you truly cannot just read ONE story and think you now have a full grasp on natsume and his relationship with his gender. i cannot stress enough how complex it is. but this complexity is exactly what makes it resonate. if you're insecure, it makes sense for you to develop a toxic habit of punching down in order to get higher, esp since we know natsume doesnt handle his emotions super well

this section will be very speculatory and is just my own personal analyzis, so dont take it as gospel. But from my understanding it seems like natsume does genuinely enjoy more feminine things, but hes caught up in gender expectations (potentially due to him knowing both what its like to be a girl and a guy?) that this can cause him to say admittedly quite bigoted things due to his insecurities. natsume is a character that wants to be perceived a certain way; he wants to be cool, mysterious, alluring, but as we should all know by now This is a front he puts on. he very often puts on fronts and lies about his true nature and intentions. which all reads like a fear of authenticity. i dont think natsume genuinely holds those beliefs previously listed, he is just afraid of being vulnerable and, once again, having weak points exposed. he was told to be a girl when he was little and now hes basically told to be a guy without having the Common Guy Upbringing, which can easily turn into developing beliefs of toxic masculinity if you're the type who "plays the part" rather than being your authentic self. hes being told what a man is by the world around him so he tried to shape himself into it to play the part. He can be very blunt and cruel in his words to others, but i personally just see it as a projection from his end. its an attempt at making himself seem better and manlier than he actually is by using his words where hes lacking in action. You can pull off alot of mind games with a simple sentence alone. words can paint a deceiving picture if used correctly, and natsume is a fortune teller; if anyone knows how to say the right thing to get a certain impression from someone its him

i do also think its important to note that as time goes on natsume is starting to express himself genuinely more. Just like the rest of the enstars cast; his story is one of growth and bettering yourself as a person. coming to terms with who you are and learning to let others in

either way. im not one to gatekeep but i need ppl who dont read switch stories to stop speaking so definitively on natsumes relationship with his gender or im gonna start throwing rocks at people

TLDR this shit is NUANCED and to say its 100% this or 100% that does it a disservice to me

[lemon-natalia]

Nona the Ninth Reaction - John 20:8

okay, given the title i’m pretty sure the ‘he’ here is John Gaius. and its a retrospective dream of some kind?? makes me wonder if there’s a connection to the opening poem which talks an awful lot about sleep and dreaming

he’s talking to an unknown ‘her’ here, and commenting that she was ‘so sick’. my first assumption is that he’s speaking to Alecto here but if he is, then what does her being sick have to do with cryo chambers? was he trying to cure her of some kind of illness?

and the mentions of M— and A—, Mercymorn and Augustine but with different names?! John did say near the end of the last book that he knew who Augustine was pre-Resurrection. there’s a C— as well, Cytherea or Casseopeia maybe?

oooh this seems to be pre-Resurrection, the world before the mysterious apocalypse. it doesn't seem to be entirely the present day though, what with the population being around ten billion, and apparently having some level of futuristic technology, like cryo chambers, and it apparently being a feasible plan to have everyone on earth escape the planet. that said, its still remarkably mundane and familiar here to the point that it goes back around into feeling very strange for the Locked Tomb books, its so different from the Nine Houses system

‘thighs mostly, from when they felt hungry, which happened rarely and almost simultaneously’ ok i really hope this is not the incident John was referring to when he said smthing like ‘i only ate human meat once before’ in HtN. and there’s definitely some kind of lyctorhood connection here with them feeling things simultaneously and being connected …

‘She cried. She and A— both cried’ is this referring to them dying in whatever nuclear apocalypse John apparently ends up starting??

‘So what did you do? He said: A damned thing, didn’t I’ oooh are we gonna see how exactly John became who he is as of the present day? because there are so many unanswered questions there

‘I still love you’ oh there’s definitely some kind of connection to the poem from the beginning here

Harrowhark??? he’s talking to Harrow here, WHAT is going on. i thought i had a mild grasp of what was going on here but evidently i do not. also, this makes me wonder if the necro-cav relationship in the poem has anything to do with Gideon & Harrow then??

also, once again these books are giving me assigned reading so i checked out the bible passage referenced in the title and apparently it's the passage where Jesus’s resurrection is discovered? it doesn't seem precisely relevant to the chapter itself but i guess it is thematically to the wider theme of resurrection in the books

[inbloomwriting]

Everything to me - Chapter 2

Chapter two - Blueberry & Kidney Bean

Chapter 1

Plot: Jamie Tartt is a lot of things: professional footballer, the island's top scorer .... sexually, extremly handsome. But one thing he never saw himself as was a dad. Too bad he has to deal with the consequences of his own actions. This fic follows reader and Jamie as they navigate life and turn from practially strangers to parents. Pairing: Jaime Tartt x female reader Warnings: Pregnancy, swearing, mentions of food and alcohol, slight mention of sexual intimacy (nothing graphic), strained/toxic parental relationship Notes: 5.6k words. I do not have a set uploading schedule. Please bear with me as I work on this story. I know hardly anything about pregnancy, all my information comes from google. I tagged everyone who asked me to do it when I posted part 1. Please let me know if you want to be taken off or added to the taglist. Likes, reblogs, comments are all much appreciated. I am German. Sometimes I get the tense wrong or make mistakes. I am useless when it comes to punctuation. Go easy on me, please

The store smells like dust and cardboard and old carpet. It's not necessarily a bad smell, it just doesn't live up to her memories.

She remembers the perpetual scent of menthol cigarettes and some kind of cheap men's perfume wafting through the air. The store used to smell like her dad and now it doesn't. And that just makes it all even more real.

Boxes upon boxes litter the room, filled with records. Some older, some newer. Guitars adorn one wall while the others are covered in posters from tours that happened long ago, some even before she was born.

There is something comforting about being here. It’s like stepping back into the past. Long nights watching Dad and his friends play their guitars after store-closing. Discovering new bands whenever a new shipment of records came in. And yes - she is the first to admit that in her younger years, she mostly chose the records by how cool the cover looked. 

It’s also memories of Dad getting caught up in the after-hours jam sessions and forgetting about her dance recital and that one time he threw a guitar at the window out of anger that a shipment of records got lost. It took him months to get the window replaced. She could probably still trace exactly where the crack used to be. 

Being here is very reminiscent in all the good and bad ways. But it’s a warped version of the past. One that’s laced with all the knowledge she has now. Like a movie that you’ve seen a million times.

“I don’t think pregnant women are supposed to be doing that!” 

Jamie’s voice cuts through the nostalgia-induced fog like a sunbeam through the clouds. And it also gives her a little heart attack as the only sound filling the room up until now had been her moving around and the soft tunes of an Eric Clapton record playing in the background.

“Jesus fuck! You scared me. I’m pretty sure you’re not supposed to startle pregnant women either and give them heart attacks.” 

He looks at her with those big expressive eyes of his and a comically overdone pout on his lips. “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you. But seriously give me that.” 

He’s so quick to take the box of records from her hands (Y/N) hardly has time to process what’s going on. 

Quite honestly, his worry is a bit misplaced here but she appreciates the sentiment even if he might be a little overly cautious at that moment. It feels nice to be cared for. 

“You know I’m pregnant, not sick, right? I can carry stuff.” 

“Yeah but why would you if you got me carrying it for you?” 

He has a point, she has to give him that. 

“Fair enough. Those go over there in the corner please.” 

Jamie follows her order without hesitation and, after setting the box down in its designated place, his eyes dart across the room and light up with childlike wonder and curiosity.

“This used to be your dad’s place, yeah? It looks really neat with all them posters and shit. Like stepping into an old person’s mind but like a cool old person that buys you alcohol when you’re 15 and lets you watch horror movies when your mum said no.” 

Of all the adjectives in the world, (Y/N) wouldn’t ever think of using the word “cool” to describe her dad. He was creative and fun and eccentric and stubborn — but cool? 

Then again he was her dad and no one ever likes to think of their own parents as cool. Oh god, will their kid think she’s uncool?! 

“Uh yeah, the shop and the apartment right above us. He owned it, now I do. I’m trying to get it all fixed up and ready to be sold.”

“What? Why?” 

There is something to be said about Jamie’s face and his absolute inability to mask his emotions. Everything he thinks and feels is mirrored twice as vividly on his face. He’s all furrowed brows and pouty lips. 

“I mean — it’s a record store. People don’t really buy records anymore. Be honest, when was the last time you bought one instead of just streaming the music?” 

“Like two weeks ago.” 

“Fuck off, no you didn’t!” 

“Uh — yeah, I did. Olivia Rodrigo if you must know.” 

A soft giggle falls from (Y/N)’s lips. How fitting for Jamie to buy an album full of teenage angst. 

“Well, you’re one of very few people though. In a perfect world, I wouldn’t have to sell. I’d keep it open. Instead of selling instruments, it’d turn that part of the shop into a little stage with a coffee counter or a bar. Host open mic nights and shine a spotlight on undiscovered artists. But the world isn’t perfect and there is no way I can afford to turn that vision into reality so really there’s no use in letting myself get too caught up in it.” 

There is pity in his eyes and she hates it. She doesn’t want pity, not his or anyone else’s. Has seen enough of it, especially lately. If she had received just one more “Sorry for your loss” card in the mail from relatives she hadn’t seen in decades, she probably would’ve stabbed a fork in her own eye. Pity does no good to no one. 

“Anyway, Jamie. Not that I don’t enjoy hanging out with you, it’s kind of necessary if we want to get this whole beings-friends-thing right, but uh — what are you doing here?” 

“Jesus, can’t a guy just come around to say hi to his baby? “ 

She thinks the way he says the word “Baby” in his thick accent is surprisingly and undeniably adorable. As if it ends in an “eh” instead of a “y”.

“By the way, they’re as big as a blueberry now.” 

And the way he’s keeping track of the baby's growth gets her right in the heart. For some reason, this seems to come so naturally to him when it all still feels weird and foreign and surreal to her. As if it were happening to someone else and she’s just a mere spectator. The idea that something as small as a blueberry will one day turn into a proper baby, a child, a teenager … a whole ass adult - is so wild to her. Almost incomprehensible. A person with their own feelings and dreams and personality. (Y/N) wonders if at any point in this pregnancy, she'll wake up and it'll all just make sense or if that only comes once she's holding the baby in her arms.

“That's cute. Doesn't answer my question though. What brings you here?”

A shadow of something flickers across Jamie’s face. Something unreadable and unfamiliar. Something that makes (Y/N) feel a sense of dread bubbling up in her stomach.

“I uh — I can’t do this.”

And there it is. That unfamiliar shadow is now a metaphorical atom bomb, a mushroom cloud of all that could have been and won’t be.

“Oh okay. I mean no, not okay. This sucks actually. You said you wanted to be part of the baby’s life and now you’re bailing? That’s a shit move, Jamie. You’re a right prick for pulling that crap.” 

“What? Oh no!” his eyes widen as the realization sets in. “That’s not what I meant.”

“Well then what did you mean? Cause you’re truly giving me a heart attack right now. Second one for today. You really need to start working on your conversation starters.” 

She had given him the chance to opt out of being a dad, to not be a part of the baby’s life. It seemed like the right thing to do and, foolishly, (Y/N) had believed that she’d be okay with him doing just that. In this very moment though, she feels everything but okay. The idea of Jamie changing his mind is terrifying. 

Sometimes you don’t realize just how much you need something — or someone until you’re faced with the possibility of losing them.

“I mean, I can’t do this alone. I need to tell someone. All I keep thinking about is the baby and I feel like I am going to explode any second now. I know we can’t tell everyone yet ‘cause of — well you know, things going wrong and stuff. But I need to tell someone. You got to tell Rebecca and your mum, I think it’s only fair I get to tell two people as well, yeah?”

A sense of relief floods her. Starts in her toes and fills her all the way to the top of her head. He wants this — wants the baby. It’s not just her in this. It’s nice to know you have someone in your corner. It’s also scary. Because he deserves to know just whose team he’s on. And being vulnerable fucking sucks. 

“Jamie, that’s fine. Absolutely you can tell your mum.” 

“And Simon? You got two people so — “

“I didn’t though.” 

“Uh yes, you did. I know you told Rebecca.” 

“That’s right.”

“And your mum too”.

The silence that follows his words is deafening. Being vulnerable means also admitting guilt. It means owning up to all of your mistakes. Though we are not the sum of our mistakes, they are what help shape the person we become. And (Y/N) really doesn’t think they make her a very good one.

“And your mum too?” 

More silence.

“You didn’t tell your mum? Why not? “

To his credit, Jamie looks truly surprised and confused. There is no judgment there, just absolute bewilderment and that signature softness that rounds out his features and settles in his eyes whenever Jamie talks to her about something serious. Granted they’ve not had that many conversations but she hopes that softness stays. She hopes that maybe their baby can have those soft, gentle eyes too.

“I’m not sure. I think I’m scared. My mum and I have a — complicated relationship. I disappoint her, she judges me. You know, the usual.” 

“You think she’ll be disappointed because we're having a baby? Is it because of me?”

(Y/N) shrugs, breaking eye contact and fixing her gaze on the old grey carpet with the ugly 90s pattern. What if those soft eyes can look straight through her, see all the ugly parts and the insecurities? That’s too scary for now. Too much too soon.

“No, it has nothing to do with you. Think she’ll just be disappointed I didn’t get pregnant according to the timeline she dreamed up for my life when I was like 2 years old. Had it all planned out for me and I never stuck to it.” 

Jamie is quiet for a moment but (Y/N) doesn’t dare to look back up at him. She can’t deal with any more pity.

“Well if you want to practice telling a mum, we can start with mine.”

“Huh?” 

“You can come to Manchester with me if you want. To tell my mum. We’ll have one mum down then, makes it easier to do it a second time. It’s science.” 

Jamie has the fascinating quality of making you believe in his words just by being so undeniably charming and because he believes in them himself. He makes it look easy when it is everything but.

“And if things don’t go well with your mum at least you’ll know you have at least one mum you can rely on, even if it’s not your own. She raised me pretty much by herself so she knows a thing or two about babies and parenting and stuff.” 

The mocking raise of (Y/N)’s right eyebrow doesn’t go unnoticed by Jamie who opens his lips to a silent gasp and clutches his chest with an overly dramatic gesture. 

“What? You saying I didn’t turn out perfectly?”

“No,” she laughs, a lightness festering in her chest. Like the first rays of sunshine after a cold winter that never seemed to end. Like a glass of wine after a long day at work. Like your favorite song on the radio at the exact moment you need it most. “I think you turned out exactly the way you were supposed to.” 

“Thanks,” Jamie says with that cheeky smile playing on his lips that makes him look a little younger than he actually is. Then he dares to wink at her and it’s a little annoying but also insanely charming. “Not sure you meant it as a compliment but I am taking it. Now when are you free for a trip up to Manchester?” 

(Y/N)’s been on a lot of road trips around the country when she was younger. She’s even spent a whole summer traveling Europe, partially by train but most of the time was spent stuffed in a Fiat Punto with 3 of her friends and all their luggage. It was stuffy, it was chaotic and it was immensely fun. None of those road trips ever involved a shiny black Aston Martin Rapide though. 

Or a famous footballer dressed in the ugliest lime green sweater (Y/N) has ever seen. 

“That’s all the luggage you got?” Jamie questions as he moves the black shades off of his eyes and sets them on the top of his head, holding back some of his hair. It shouldn’t work so well but it does. 

“I mean, we’re only staying for a night right? Why? Should I have brought more? How much did you pack?” 

He glances at her, then towards the car, and back at her. A sheepish look crosses his face before being replaced by his childlike cheekiness. “That’s confidential. Don’t worry about it, yeah?” 

“I got my ginger lollies, that’s all that matters really.” 

“You feeling alright?” 

“Mh, I’m good. Just pregnant.” 

His eyes drop down to her stomach for just a second before he nods his head in what (Y/N) can only describe as a mix of pride and satisfaction. “Yeah, you are.” 

That’s new. Well not new-new but it hasn’t happened since the day of the funeral. That tingly feeling in her stomach that has fuck all to do with the baby and everything with how the baby got there. Yes, Jamie is hot and (Y/N) is the first to admit as much but there has been so much stress and chaos and she hardly had time to think about anything but surviving and making sure not to completely lose herself in bad visions of what-ifs that her brain has had no time to process any feelings of arousal or lust. That look he just gave her though, that one made her remember it for just a second.

“You sure you’re alright?” 

Jamie’s voice shakes her from her daydream and brings her back to the real world, her eyes focusing back on the obscene car parked in front of her tiny apartment building looking so insanely out of place.

“Uh yes, I’m fine. I just — sometimes I forget that you’re famous.” 

Jamie regards her for a moment before shrugging his shoulder and grabbing the bag from her hands. “I don’t. It’s fun. Now come on, let’s goooooo.” 

His voice is dipped in excitement and there’s a bounce in his step. If this is how the prospect of seeing his mother makes him feel and behave, she must be one lovely woman. Whenever (Y/N) thinks of her own mother her chest fills with tiny metaphorical icicles. Sharp and rough and painful. It’s all regret and judgment and disapproval. It’s “You gained weight”, “you look tired”, and “You should really look into getting a new job”. Daggers disguised as roses. Stabs right to the heart in the name of being honest. “I just care about you, because I love you, because I am your mother!” 

If there is one thing (Y/N) knows for sure, it’s that she will never ever find the need to resort to criticism and thinly veiled malice in order to show her child that she cares. They will know. Every single day. Because she’ll make sure to show them. Every single day in all the big and tiny ways a person can show their love. 

“Kidney Bean?”

“Kidney Bean. And apparently, the baby is sprouting webbed fingers and toes right now. Oh, and it’s starting to move!” 

“Can you feel that?” 

“No, not yet.” 

“It’s mental. Last week she was the size of a blueberry and now she’s a kidney bean. Kid’s growing up too fast.” 

It’s true. There is so much happening all at once and it’s almost impossible to really process it all. Suddenly there is a tiny spark of a human inside her. Not really a baby yet but a baby to her. And it's moving and developing and changing every second of every day. Fucking insane.

“Wait … you said she. You think it’s a girl?”

Maybe it’s the sunlight casting a glow through the windshield but (Y/N) is almost certain she can just about make out a blush dusting Jamie’s cheeks. 

“Dunno.”

“Jamie Tartt, do you want to be a girl dad?” 

He glances at (Y/N) through the corner of his eyes for just a moment but it’s enough for her to see the sincerity in him. This is something he’s thought about before. Learning new things about Jamie is fascinating.

“Ah,  it’s stupid, really. It’s — It’s dumb or whatever.” 

“No, come on, don't go shy on me now. Tell me.” 

He takes a deep breath. A moment passes then another. There is no rush. Sometimes silly thoughts are the result of harsh truths. 

“Told you my dad was a prick. Like the biggest piece of shit walking this earth, yeah? And I knew that all my life. Thing is I still tried to impress him. I just — I wanted him to like me so badly. Just felt wrong that me own dad didn’t care about me and that made me angry. And I kept that anger inside me for so long. Sometimes when I think about the baby and the future I am scared that if I have a son that anger will jump over to him. Like maybe all Tartt men are cursed or some shit like that. But if I had a little girl maybe that would make it easier for me to be a good dad. I don’t mind either way, obviously, but the idea of having a son scares me.” 

It’s the most vulnerable he’s been with her so far and by the way he clenches his jaw and grabs onto the steering wheel just a little tighter, (Y/N) can tell this isn’t easy on him. It means a lot that he shares this part of him with her anyway. It feels like they are actually becoming friends. So opening up to him in return is only half as horrifying. 

“When I was a kid, maybe 11 or 12, I wrote a short story for school and I won an award. They did this big ceremony thing where the 3 finalists got to read their stories out loud for an audience and then receive their prizes. My mum didn’t show up, not sure if it was because she stayed longer at the office and didn’t care enough to leave on time or if she just didn’t feel like getting out of the house. Point is, she wasn’t there. When I came home that night I was sad, obviously, and I was also pissed. Because why the fuck couldn’t she take one night off to come see me succeed at something even if it wasn’t something she deemed worthy of praise. 

So I yelled at her and I’m sure I said some hurtful things. But I was so devastated and angry and I needed an outlet for once. She called me ungrateful but I was used to that, she always called me ungrateful. Then she looked at me with that look of absolute resignation and malice and she said that she hopes I have a daughter like me one day and that she makes me realize how hard it is to love me. 

When I think of the baby, sometimes I see a little girl too. One that I will love so much she never has to doubt it for a single second. And I will also prove my mother wrong. Because it will be so easy to love my little girl and it would’ve been so easy to love me, her little girl.” 

It’s the first time she’s ever said those words out loud. Truly, (Y/N) had not expected for them to come out in an Aston Martin, on the way to meet her baby’s father’s mother but life doesn’t seem to care for plans very much these days.

Softly, as if to not startle her, Jamie places his hand on hers, squeezing gently.

“I think your mum is a right bitch.” 

“Thanks. I think your dad is a huge asshole.” 

“We’re gonna be better than them, right?” 

It’s not really a question. It’s more of a promise.

“We will. I know it.”

His hand doesn’t leave hers for a good long while. 

The nerves don’t hit her until they pull up to the quaint little house with the white front. There’s a rose bush to the side and some kids playing football just across the way. The nerves don’t hit her until Jamie puts the car in park but when they do, they hit her like a freight train.

“Woah, you alright?”��

“Huh?” 

“You look all pale and like you’ve seen a ghost or something. Do you have to puke?”

A chuckle falls from her lips at the absurdity of it all. In all honesty, she’s not met a lot of parents yet but the few she did meet were parents of actual partners. People she had been dating for a while. It was a natural progression of steps. This is all wrong and sideways and topsy-turvy. You’re supposed to meet the mum first and then get pregnant. 

Again with the life and the plans. 

“I’m fucking nervous.” 

“Hah,” Jamie laughs. The audacity of this guy. “You’re nervous to meet my mum? Why? She’s an angel.”

“Do you not know how intimidating that is? Like, if she was shit I wouldn’t care but she sounds wonderful and I want her to like me. No, I need her to like me. Desperately. And I can only imagine what she thinks of me already. Some floozy who gets knocked up and really just wants your money.” 

Before she even fully realizes what’s happening, (Y/N) feels Jamie’s hands on her cheeks, framing her face in warmth.

“Calm down, please. I promise it’ll be alright. My mum will love you, I know it. Probably more than she loves me. Actually no that’s a lie, but she will love you and she will love our baby. Promise.”

“She’s not gonna judge me for — you know. Getting pregnant even though we’re not dating or anything.” 

“My mum was married to my dad, worst person on planet Earth. Don’t think she’s in any position to judge you. It’ll be alright, trust me.” 

She hardly knows this man and yet she can’t help but do just that. Trust him.

The first thing (Y/N) notices about Georgie is her smile. A smile that is so familiar because it looks exactly like Jamie’s smile. Warm and radiant and true. A part of (Y/N) hopes that their baby inherits that same smile. Partially because it’s a really good smile and partially because maybe that could help Jamie realize that he is more than the sum of his father’s problems and mistakes. He is all his mother’s boy.

“Oh, I missed you, my baby.” 

Georgie wraps her arms around Jamie’s middle, getting swallowed by his frame for a moment. There’s no denying that part of (Y/N)’s heart breaks a little seeing how loving of a relationship these two have and wondering where she and her own mother went wrong.

And as it so happens with so many kids that have never been loved quite the way they deserved, (Y/N) can’t help but search for the problem in herself. 

“Yeah sorry for not visiting earlier. You know how it is with training and stuff.” 

“Don’t worry about it. I know my boy is busy being a star.” 

The words hold a slight mocking, never mean but in the way that only people who are close can tease each other. You know every word comes laced with deep affection, with pride, with love.

“And it’s so nice to meet you too. I’m Georgie.” 

It takes a second for (Y/N) to realize that Jamie’s mum is now talking to her directly.

“I uh — oh thank you. Nice to meet you too, I’m (Y/N).” 

Georgie smells like mint chewing gum and floral perfume as she pulls (Y/N) into a hug. She’s soft and gentle and it’s been the first hug from a mother (Y/N) has received in quite some time.

“Sorry, didn’t even ask if you’re a hugger.”

“Oh that’s alright, don’t worry about it.” 

She’s not a hugger, never really was, but there is something about Georgie granting her some affection that isn’t all that bad. Maybe their kid can have at least one grandmother who cares and who isn’t completely disgusted by the idea of showing any kind of positive emotions.

“Jamie never brings girlfriends around so I’m a bit out of my element here if I’m being honest.” 

“Mum we’re not — she’s not.” Jamie takes a big breath before starting again “(Y/N) and I are friends, yeah? Told you about it on the phone.” 

“Right, right. Well, you don’t bring around a lot of friends either so same difference, really. Now come inside will you, I’m sure we got a lot to catch up on.”

Oh if only she knew how true that sentiment really is.

There are pictures of Jamie staring back at (Y/N) from every corner of the house and Georgie leads them through the hallway and towards the kitchen. Every wall and every shelf holds a memory of him at one point in his life. Gap toothed with a football in hand smiling, surrounded by a field of tulips arm wrapped around his mother’s shoulder, his teenage self smoldering at the camera with an even more questionable haircut than the one he is sporting right now. Oh to be loved in a way that every past version of you is being remembered.

As they reach the kitchen a sweet scent fills the room when a man clad in an apron turns around and faces them with a huge smile playing on his face. He has a dorky kind of charm to him that immediately puts you at ease. Maybe it’s just the frilly apron, maybe it’s the big oven gloves, maybe it’s the smile. Either way, (Y/N) thinks that if they take the news well, her kid might have truly lucked out on one side of the grandparents department. 

“Jamie, welcome home.” 

“Hi Simon, thanks, mate. Glad to be back. This is (Y/N).” 

“The friend, right.” Simon says and shoots Georgie a look that neither of them misses. Subtlety doesn’t seem to be one of his best qualities. “It’s nice to meet you, (Y/N).”

“Nice to meet you too. It smells amazing in here.” 

“I found this new recipe for honey blondies. Not sure if they'll be any good but I guess we'll find out. If you guys want to go have a seat, I'll come bring them over.”

“Actually,” Jamie speaks up while nervously fiddling with his hands. “I was hoping we could have a talk before we do anything else. There’s something I need to tell you both.” 

Imagining the hypothetical scenario of telling your mum you’re having a baby and actually doing it really are two completely different things it seems. Gone is all of Jamie’s confidence and replaced with a whole lot of anxiety. 

“You're worrying me, Jamie. What has you acting so serious? Did you get someone pregnant or something?”

Georgie's words are followed by a thick awkward silence. It's heavy and suffocating and it makes (Y/N) feel uneasy in both her heart and her head.

It doesn't take long for Jamie’s parents to realize what his silence means. Everything communicated by not saying a single word.

“Oh, fuck.”

And there's nothing to add to Georgie's reaction. It's the exact same one (Y/N) had when she first saw those faint blue lines.

Of all the possible outcomes and ways this day could’ve gone, (Y/N) had not expected to find herself staring at not only a curly-haired Roy Kent but also come face to face with two very persuasive arguments belonging to no other than Keeley fucking Jones. 

“This is surreal.” 

The posters stare back at her all crinkled paper and bleached ink, as if to mock her silently. 

“Ah, well I told them to redecorate when I moved out, think they just haven’t gotten around to it yet.” 

A light dusting of pink settles on the apples of Jamie’s cheeks as well as the tips of his ears. This man can’t hide his emotions for the life of him. It’s quite adorable really. 

“Do they know?” 

“Does who know?” 

“Roy and Keeley. Do they know you have their pictures up in your room?”

“Well no and It’s not my room anymore, is it? ‘S not like I have ‘em hanging at home. Put these up ages ago.” 

A giggle slips through (Y/N)’s lips at his desperate attempt to talk himself out of this situation. 

“It’s okay, Jamie. I won’t tell.” 

“There’s nothing to tell, alright?” he responds in mock offense before sitting down on his childhood bed next to (Y/N). “Just liked boobs and football and those two were the best those fields had to offer, yeah? Can’t really blame me.” 

“Not much has changed has it?”

He shrugs his shoulders in response “Nah. Still like boobs and football but no way I’d put up a poster of granddad’s ugly mug nowadays.”

From the few times they talked about his job, including his teammates and coaches, (Y/N) was able to gather that Jamie’s relationship with Roy is something special. Odd, but special. Maybe that’s what happens when you end up working with your childhood idol. Either way, no matter how much shit he likes to talk about him, it’s clear that Jamie respects and admires Roy a great deal still.

“And uh — and Keeley?” 

“What about her?” 

“Is she — are you — how are things?” 

She still remembers that crestfallen look on his face on the day of the funeral. That infinite sadness in his eyes. She hadn’t put two and two together at that moment but later that night it all clicked. Keeley was the woman he was in love with, the woman who did not love him back. And while (Y/N) knows that she and Jamie are only bound together by happenstance and fate — if one chooses to believe in that, and that there is nothing romantic about their situation, it does sting a little to know that the man you’re having a baby with is in love with someone else.

“We’re good. We’re friends, think that’s all we’ll ever be. Her and Roy, they’re happy and I don’t want to ruin it for either of them. Keeley and I just were not right together.” 

“And you’re okay with that?” 

He nods his head, a small smile playing on his lips “Yeah, I’m alright with it. If I hadn’t made a fool of myself at the funeral then you and I wouldn’t have — you know, and then we wouldn’t be having a baby. Little Kidney Bean.” 

“That’s true. Your mum seemed excited.” 

“Hah, sorry about her. She can be intense.” 

Intense might be the understatement of the century. It took her approximately 2.3 seconds to get over the initial shock of the announcement and really process it before Georgie let out a scream of pure excitement and joy and wrapped both Jamie and (Y/N) up in her arms. She didn’t fully let go for a good 20 minutes. It was intense. It was also phenomenal.

“Don’t apologize. I am so glad she took it so well, Simon too. At least now I’ll have the certainty that my baby will have one set of loving grandparents at least.” 

“Hey,” Jamie says and nudges her shoulder with his “We’ll sort out telling your mum next, okay. I’m sure it’ll go better than you think. And if not we can always call up my mum for some more hugs and a pep talk. Whatever happens, you won’t have to do it alone. I promise.” 

For what is probably the first time in her life (Y/N) lets herself believe that there truly is someone else having her back, undisputedly and all the way. It’s unfamiliar. It’s a little scary. It’s also wonderful.

“Thanks, Jamie. I appreciate it, I really do. Think so far we’re doing alright, huh?” 

“I’d say so. Two sexy parents and a little Kidney Bean.” 

Their laughter echoes through Jamie’s childhood bedroom for quite a while longer until at some point it stills and gives room to soft breathing and quiet snores. The bed isn’t meant for two grown adults and really Jamie truly meant to sleep on the couch but somewhere between talks of baby clothes and childhood memories, eyes grew heavy and tired, and soon enough both of them are fast asleep.

Just them and their little Kidney Bean 

— and a curly-haired Roy Kent 

— and Keeley’s boobs.

taglist (@ me if you want to be taken off or added): @captainfrisbee - @scaramou - @mischiefmanaged71 - @rexorangecouny - @respondingtoshowerthoughts-blog - @tweasley20 - @dreamtrydoforkinggood - @oxxolovemelikeyoudooxxo - @heletsmelovehim - @snubug - @katdahlali - @oldglitterstory - @lalla-04p - @aiyaiy

[rachelsshowerthoughts]

Not Aware AU exactly but kinda tangential. I always toyed with this idea of "Kagami was transferred into Adrien's class when she joined the school."

This could be in S2, or be because Tomoe saw Adrien was attending school and she's got those later season machinations & sends Kagami to make sure he's not snagged by a gold digger.

(In the former case its just in S2, while in the latter it starts after Princess Fragrance.)

This was fine and fun at first, but Kagami is more willing to start shit with Chloe & much less patient with Adrien's continued softness.

Plus, Adrien can't really explain why he's fond of Chloe cos its a mixture between he can't imagine his life without her (Sibling coded) & stuff like, "She was there for me when mom disappeared & got me into school".

This leads to her at some point losing her patience and dragging both off to a classroom and basically saying "Either she needs to improve or you need to drop her, because this cannot go on."

You'd expect it to be a two on one but Adrien's efforts to play peacemaker lead to Kagami arguing with him as well.

Then when one of Chloe's major blows lands hard against Adrien, "Our parents harm more people every day than I do in a year and you still love them, hypocrites!"

It does nothing to Kagami, because she doesn't love her mother, she respects her, obeys her and fears her wrath but she doesn't love her even a little and she assumed Adrien was the same.

He is not the same & is in fact kind of defensive of his father at such a blatant rejection of one's own family and how uncomfortable it makes him.

It basically descends from there, cos I love slow burns but sometimes its just like, "Hmm what if they all started screaming their issues that they do not realize are issues at the top of their lungs?"

None of these kids know therapy talk so their languages on it is already going to be shit even before we remember literally not a one of them has much in the way of healthy communication or good social skills outside of formal events so:

So you have Chloe defending stuff like destroying Roses' letter because "That's how Mama handles it when I give her bad gifts, she's telling me to do better and one day I'll get it right!" As well as "Why would Papa want to see me when he doesn't need me for something? He's not a lunatic control freak like your parents."

Then you have Adrien defending stuff like, "I know my dads cold and has impossible standards and barely lets me do anything I want but he is protective and just wants what's best for me!" & "My mom was always kind to me, she was perfect even if she never let me go out or have a birthday either!"

& Kagami defending Tomoe with, "It doesn't matter how I feel about Adrien, or my instructions, I act as I do because it is for the good of my family. My emotions, my life don't matter at all before that duty!"

So its just three incredibly fucked up abused kids steadily airing each others and their own families laundry list of abusive traits and experiences under the pretext of saying "No my family is normal & OK yours is the bad one" and "How dare you call 'that' bad, when your parent does this!"

(Also Chloe may think Gabriel killed Emilie or otherwise would rather have Adrien sealed in amber forever than as an actual living boy,)

With this continuing until it either gets physical or they basically collapse.

Meanwhile the class is just watching in mounting horror and disgust and discomfort. (Nino is likely especially pissed) Like even with Chloe it may not justify her behavior but it puts so much of it in a new deeply messed up context where it kind of makes sense she doesn't even know how to be nice.

To quote a friend of mine:

The rich kids have taken knives to each other. They've cut open their festering wounds. The rot is exposed, scrubbed raw. While they lie angry, bleeding, crying, and dying [inside], they have the opportunity to look upon themselves once more and apply new dressings.

I can see it, but unless Gabriel is ACTUALLY out of the country, all three get Akumatized. My thoughts are a weird mix Grimm Brothers Fairytales - Cinderella, Snow White, Hansel & Gretel, etc. Not in specific, but like. More fairytale tropes?

Adrien is the "Cinderella"-style. Rapunzel, Snow White-style, "One Day My Prince Will Come"-style. The type of character that has to sacrifice and sacrifice, and will eventually be rewarded. If he does one more photo shoot, one more public appearance, *scrubs one more floor*, his father will finally love him. He'll finally have the happy ending he wants. He just has to stick it out - cause his dad DOES love him, right? (As a possession, if at all.)

Chloé is more of the "Trials"-style. Complete this mission-style. Knit twelve sweaters from nettles, and your brothers will become human again. Find the right goose, and get set free. Defeat the evil witch, and the spell is broken. If Chloé tries hard enough, does and says the right things, her parents will love her, show her affection. She'll finally be worth something. (All of it performative and shallow, until they raise the bar to another impossible height. Always keeping her dependant on them.)

Kagami, weirdly, I see as more endurance, or contract style - like a flipped version of Adrien. She isn’t really trying to "change" her situation the way Chloé or Adrien are, (for value of "trying to change it", ie, playing along with their parents games because that’s all they know to do) she's accepted this is the way it is, and is simply trying to endure it. Go through the motions. Hold up your end of the bargain. Work within the bonds of your deal, to do as little harm as you can, while still fulfilling your end. One day, you'll be out. You'll be free. (As if her mother will ever set her free.)

[suzukiblu]

WIP excerpt for sakoku_decree; the parasite. (( chrono || non-chrono ))

Someone, maybe, but he’s still not even clear on exactly what the parasite actually was. If they were actually a person at all, or had any real personality or thought processes of their own behind the psychic puppetry they were using to . . . operate him. Pass as him. 

They don’t know anything about the parasite or its species or if it even has a species or is just some strange, singular thing of its own, or . . . 

Clark doesn’t know if he’ll ever understand whatever the parasite was or really wanted, but he can’t imagine ever forgiving what it’s done to his family, or his friends. Or his life. 

Or . . . to himself, either. 

And he can’t imagine forgiving himself for letting it happen, either. 

“It was–mind control,” he says, slow and careful and tight, and Jon stays very, very still in his arms. He doesn’t hug him back. Clark–should let go of him. Needs to let go of him. It’s not fair to hold him, if Jon doesn’t want held. “A–parasite. It was in my head for over a year. I didn’t–I don’t remember anything that it did. I was–gone. It wasn’t me.” 

He starts to let go and lean back, and Jon’s hands snap up to his shoulders and just–grip, and dig in. 

“It wasn’t you,” he repeats, his voice uneven and a little numb. 

“I’m so sorry,” Clark says again, because he doesn’t know what else he even could. “I never would’ve–even if I’d left your mother, I never would’ve left you. I never would’ve . . .” 

What a stupid, useless apology, he thinks, because what good does it even do? What does “I wouldn’t have done that to you” even mean after the fact, when it doesn’t change what Jon went through? When it doesn’t change a thing that happened to him at all, much less how he’s felt about it? How he must still feel about it? 

“Oh,” Jon manages, and swallows roughly. His hands stay on Clark’s shoulders, gripping tight but not actually embracing him. Clark feels all that grief and all that fury all over again and so much worse than before. “It . . . what . . .” 

“It died,” Clark says. “I was electrocuted on a League mission, and it didn’t survive. And then I just–woke up again.” 

“Oh,” Jon says again, his voice very small and quiet. He doesn’t take his hands away, still. 

And also doesn’t hug him back, still. 

Dick hasn’t said anything. Neither has Damian, which is probably because Dick’s given him some kind of look or signal not to comment. Or maybe he’s just changed, and wouldn’t interrupt right now either way. 

It’s been over a year. That’s so much time, especially at this age. Jon’s twelve now. Damian’s–what, fourteen? Fifteen? 

Dick’s thirty. 

Jesus. 

Clark should say something to him too. Should at least acknowledge him and Damian. 

He really can’t pay attention to anyone but Jon right now, though. 

[sabo-has-my-heart]

I have been forced to be in survival mode for the past 3 years, always holding up everyone around me without ever being able to take time to breathe or care for myself. It was especially bad with my mom, and I feel like I became the parent for a while as she would always tell me I was the only thing supporting her and keeping her steady. I wanted to support her but the weight was suffocating me. Now that things have settled in life I feel guilty for crying, it's so late after everything happened and because I held it together so well when everything was bad people just expect me to always be happy, and its been coached into me that I need to keep it together to take care of others. It often makes me feel like I'm not doing good enough. Could you do something with Ace seeing the reader scared to breakdown or be vulnerable because they've haven't been allowed to for so long since theyre always taking care of others or expected to be happy like me, and he tells them it's okay and offers to just sit with them while they cry?

Finally! Here it is! Alright so I didn't quite make their relationship romantic, but I don't think I really made it platonic either, so you can imagine it as you like. Also, my heart goes out to you so hard. I know exactly what survival mode is like, so I feel you. Also, I changed it up a little so Ace isn't really just sitting with them and telling them it's okay, I hope you don't mind. (If you don't like it, tell me, I'll rewrite emergency requests if needed.) Anyway! I hope you like this and THANK YOU for being so patient with me.

Warnings: GN!Reader, survival mode, emotional trauma (I guess), crying, hurt/comfort

Word Count: 1320

      Walking through the halls of the Moby Dick, you took a few deep breaths, making sure to plaster a smile on your face whenever a crew member came into view. It had been such an exhausting week and to be honest, you were one minor mishap from having a breakdown. You couldn’t though; you couldn’t break down. Not here, not now. You needed to be happy, you were always happy, people only ever saw you when you were happy, you couldn’t be sad or cry, you couldn’t let people see you like that. How long had it been since someone had last seen you that vulnerable? Years, that much was certain, but just how many? 5? 10? More? Did it even matter anymore? Your job was to take care of others, that’s all that mattered. Take care of others, make sure they were okay, it didn’t matter if you had a moment to breathe, all that mattered was taking care of others. Well… you knew that wasn’t true. Logically you knew that wasn’t true, but that didn’t stop your brain from thinking it over and over again. It didn’t stop the guilt when you were curled up in the cargo hold sobbing your eyes out and it didn’t stop the vulnerability from scaring you. 

     Taking another deep breath, you tried to calm your mind, internally cringing when Ace came bounding up to you, his usual smile plastered on his face.

     “Y/n! Just who I wanted to see! I wanted to…” Ace trailed off, staring at you thoughtfully.

     “Wanted what, Ace? Did you manage to perfect that ability you’ve been working on? Come on, let’s head up to the deck so you can show me.” you offered, putting a hand on his arm, turning towards the deck.

     “No, that’s… that can wait. Where were you going?” Ace asked, concern written across his features. He couldn’t quite put his finger on it, but something seemed… off with you, something in your eyes just looked wrong.

     “Me? Nowhere in particular, just kind of roaming around bo-” “don’t lie to me, Y/n. I know you, I know when you’re lying. What’s wrong?” Ace cut you off, giving you a stern look. You could feel your chest tightening as you held back the tears, your breath catching in your throat as you tried to swallow the sobs.

     “W-what do you mean? I-I’m fine. You should know b-by now that I don’t r-really get up-upset.” you said, forcing the words out and the tears back.

     “Don’t give me that bullshit, Y/n. I know something’s wrong, I can see it in your eyes and hear it in your voice. Come on, I care about you, please, talk to me.” Ace said, giving you a soft look, forcing you to look at you the moment you attempted to turn away from him, “please. I don’t want to see you upset. And not because you’re always happy, but because it means that something has been eating at you for long enough to kill your smile.” you could feel your body tremble as you frantically shook your head. It was becoming harder and harder to hold things back. 

     “N-no. I’m fine, I’m always fine, there’s nothing wrong. I just n-need to try harder, that’s all. I j-just need t-to…” you bit your lip, wrapping your arms around yourself, barely managing to hold things together. You couldn’t break down. Not here, not now; not where so many people could see you.

     Ace looked at you sadly, picking you up so you wouldn’t fall to your knees. He knew that look. He knew that look, because he’d had that look before. Trying so hard to hold it together, to keep himself from crying, to continue to be strong. Feeling his warm arms carrying you, you buried your face in his chest. You could let anyone else see you like this. Maybe if your face was against his chest, they’d just assume you were asleep in his arms. After a couple of minutes, Ace nudged his door open, closing the door behind him and sitting on the bed with you.

     “Hey, it’s okay. Whatever’s going on, it’s okay. You can talk to me. Or, if you don’t want to talk, you can just… I don’t know, cry or something. I promise.” His words were the final straw, tears starting to pour down your cheeks as you curled into a ball, crying into your knees. You barely felt his arm around you as you sobbed into your knees, unable to hold it back anymore, unable to keep yourself together. Even still, you couldn’t let him actually see you crying, couldn’t let him see your tears as you stayed tightly curled up. Hearing your sobs, seeing you shaking, that was bad enough, but you couldn’t let him see you so… helpless, so vulnerable. 

     Ace lightly pulled you closer, managing to maneuver you into his lap as he wrapped his arms around you. He knew what it was like, crying to yourself, shutting everyone and everything out, refusing to show his true emotions for fear that it somehow made him weak.

     “It’s okay, cry all you need, I’m right here. I’ll stay here with you.” Ace said softly, stroking your hair as he held you. After a minute or two, he gently pulled at your arms, trying to uncurl you from your protective ball. While he knew the need to hide from the world, he wanted you to be able to trust him, to know that it was okay to be vulnerable with him.

     “Come on, beautiful, let me actually hold you properly, I want your arms around me too.” he said, attempting to coax you out of your protective ‘shell’. Maybe if you thought it was for him, you’d be more willing to let him hold you, to let yourself cry into his shoulder, to be open and vulnerable with him. “I promise, it’s okay, you can cry in front of me, you don’t have to smile if you’re not happy.” uncurling slightly, you buried your face in his chest once more. You still wouldn’t let him see your tears, but you wouldn’t deny that having someone hold you was comforting. Having someone tell you that it was okay was comforting. 

     You weren’t entirely sure how long you sat there crying, only that when you stopped, you and Ace were both covered in salty tears, his hand running soothingly up and down your back.

     “Feel better now?” Ace asked softly, giving you a soft, sympathetic smile as you looked up at him. Your eyes were bloodshot, your cheeks red and tear stained, and your breathing was still irregular, but you couldn’t deny that you did, admittedly, feel better. 

     “Yeah, I kinda do. I… I guess I should thank you.” you said softly, taking a deep breath as you tried to steady your breathing once more.

     “It’s no problem, I get it. Sometimes you just… need to cry. But listen, if you ever need to cry again, don’t be afraid to come to me, it’ll probably make you feel a hell of a lot better if you have someone there for you.” Ace said with a small smile, wiping away the few tears that were left.

     “I… I’m not making any promises, but I’ll try.” you said softly, finally steadying your breathing.

     “Thanks. Come on, let’s go see if Thatch has any snacks hidden away, I’m… I usually get hungry after I… uh… after I get particularly emotional.” Ace said, rubbing the back of his neck. You nodded, admittedly feeling rather hungry and fatigued.

     “Yeah, a snack and a nap sound really good right now.” you said, standing up and heading towards the kitchen with Ace. You couldn’t let anybody see you cry, couldn’t let anyone see you vulnerable… well, anybody but Ace. Maybe, from time to time, it would be okay if Ace saw you cry.

[onyxino]

Happy birthday, Aizen!

For Aizen's birthday here is some headcanons. Some SFW but its mostly just filth.

CW: Creampie. Oral F receiving. AFAB reader x Aizen. Dom/Sub dynamics used. Aizen is a whole warning himself. Slightly creepy and toxic Aizen. Panty sniffing and stealing. Cum play. Praise. Talk of sexual orientation. MDNI!!

Proof read like 3 times but my eyes fail me quite a bit

WC:1200

Safe For Work

I wholeheartedly believe that Sosuke is 100% capable of love. He just wouldn’t be able to recognize the emotion at first and would have a really big internal conflict regarding the matter. I think initially he would have the issue of not being able to tell the difference between obsession and love. Once he's finally figured out what he's feeling he’s now faced with the new issue of showing it because saying it is absolutely out of the question.

To expand further on my last headcanon, let's talk about Sosuke’s love languages! He has two forms of love language.

First would be gift giving. I think Sosuke would be very big into giving you anything you wanted as a sign of love. He believes you deserve nothing but the best so why not give it to you! You eye something at the mall for a little too long? Congrats, it’s yours now! Don’t even try to protest it belongs to you now so just take it. You do deserve the best after all.

Second form of Sosuke’s love language would most definitely have to be words of praise and affirmations. This man may have the hardest time saying those 3 big words but he will praise you from dusk to dawn.

“You’re doing just splendid, Dear. I’m quite pleased with your progress.” He says as he tucks a damp piece of hair behind your sweaty ear. This new training regiment he has you on is a killer but his words fuel you to keep going.

I plan to expand more on this in the NSFW portion! 

I definitely believe that Aizen would not use Kyoka Suigetsu on you. I can only see him using it on you in an event where it may be needed to protect you or prevent you from risking your own life if it came down to it. 

This man is the definition of LOYAL. Do not fret this man will not cheat. You’ll actually have the issue of him not leaving your side. In the world of the living, you want his phone? It's yours,  I mean you already know the password so just ask for it and he’ll hand it over. He will be a little upset that you don’t trust him but he understands you’ve probably been hurt before but believe me he will be asking for your phone in return.

I know a lot of these have been very wholesome but don’t get me wrong this is Sosuke AIzen we are talking about. He can and will be T O X I C. He has jealousy issues, make sure you aren’t talking to the pesky candy shop owner for too long or else you’ll be in trouble.

I believe he has the tendency to stalk as well. Trust me that man could tell you EXACTLY where you were at 12:30pm on July,3rd,2023. Even if you don’t remember he does.

Not Safe For Work

Sosuke Aizen is uncut. Plain and simple.

I headcanon him to be pansexual. I believe Sosuke has had experience with men, women and non-binary/androgynous people as well. I also do believe while he is pansexual and has had experience with all genders that he does have a preference. I can really see him being into Non-binary/Androgynous AFAB people. Honestly though if he likes you, he likes you and it doesn’t matter what kind of genitalia you have. I also believe that at one point in time even for a small amount of time he had a thing for Shinji Hirako (or maybe that's too self indulgent and I just want them to hate fuck.) 

While I do say he has had experience with people of all genders, I do not believe that Sosuke Aizen sleeps around. While being experienced he’s only had a few past partners for a couple of reasons. First being that he just doesn’t have time for such conquests due to being too busy with his plan for being the one at the top and all. Second being that Aizen only sleeps with people that he has a fondness for and for him it takes a long time to build up that trust. Being that naked and vulnerable around someone he barely knows just does not interest him at all. 

Sosuke is a dom at heart but he wouldn't mind (he actually really craves) soft and tender sex without the use of dom/sub dynamic. 

Sosuke has a huge thing for cum play. He loves the idea of covering you in his cum, it’s some sort of primal way for him to mark you as his. He also loves stuffing you full, creampie after creampie and then seeing it spill out of you drives him absolutely mad. Him knowing that you're so full of his cum that it's ruining your underwear and dribbling down your thighs as you go about your daily tasks gets him off.

To expand further on this it’s not just his cum he’s obsessed with it’s yours too. He loves when you squirt on his face as he’s eating you out, it does his ego wonders and on top of it all you taste like heaven to him. He is also absolutely in love with the sight of you creaming on cock, seeing that white ring of cum appear at the base of dick is just another thing that gets him off and feeds his already obese ego.

Sosuke Aizen love love loves to talk and that doesn’t change during sex either. He is very very vocal. He is the kind of man to talk you through it. He loves to deliver praise (In the most condescending way possible) as much he loves to degrade you.

“C’mon now, you can take it.” He coos in an almost praising yet degrading way as he cups your cheek in his soft yet calloused hand.

He has you on your back, tears staining your rosy cheeks. He’s halfway buried in you, if people saw you right now they’d think this was your first time taking his cock. Oh man, that couldn't be further from the truth, you swear every time up and down it will never fit. Every time you are proved wrong.

He pushes himself into you a little more, this earns him a whine that tumbles from your lips as you feel his girth stretch you out.

“That’s it, you’re doing so well. Now be good and take the rest of me, yeah? I know you can.” He says leaning down to bury his face into your neck. Then snapping his hips forward in one switch motion he’s sheathing himself completely inside of you. 

A strangled moan tears itself from your throat as you adjust to him. You take it now and you take it every time because Sosuke wouldn’t dare speak words to you that he knew to be falsehoods.

Sosuke is a panty sniffer/stealer. If you think you’re leaving your encounter with him with your underwear you’d be so wrong. It’s a trophy to him, a token of your memory for him as he sits on the edge of his bed stroking his length later that night after you’ve left. Wadded up fabric clutched in his hand pressing against his nose as he breathes deeply.

Bonus: He is definitely guilty of cumming in your underwear and forcing you to wear them all day.

Thanks for reading, I don't write often but i sure enjoy sharing when I do!

Tag list: @stygianoir @muzansfangs

[abitterberryblog]

TWOTM Emissa Corenius : An Over-Analyzation

Major The Will of the Many spoilers and random theories ahead !!

Okay, so when I first read The Will of the Many, I wasn’t reading properly, and I just kinda assumed that Emissa was just a kinda blandly written character in such a well-written world. That was, of course, until the whole twist thing. What I liked was that it wasn’t a complete 360, and that she didn’t end up as extremely bad, but flawed enough for me not to be annoyed with her existence, and for her to not seem like only a Mary Sue 'love interest' character.

The thing is, I don't think she is at all.

First of all, I’m starting this with an analyzation of her relationship with Vis, and her not-so-role as a ‘love interest’. Was it real? Was it fake? I think she eventually did grow to be fond over him after a while, but I’ve always known she was going to betray him somehow. Something about the vibes.

It all started with the glass of water at the infirmary. I know there’s a chance that maybe she’s just, idk, kind or whatever, but after the ending, I’m not so 100% sure.

Not only that, but Ulciscor  constantly nagging about how suspicious he was of her. (Normally I'd pass it off as Ulciscor  being obsessed and hyper-anxious about the mission thing, but this was Emissa, and that caught my interest.)

There’s a really fat chance that she was, somehow, working with Veridius. This does not mean that she’s evil or whatever, and I'm still trying to figure out of Veridius is good or not, but it does make her a lot more interesting and complex.

Towards the end of the Iudicium, Emissa uses Will. You can’t use Will during academy stuff without some sort of source, or somebody allowing to use it. It's simply not possible?? Veridius? He’s literally the Principalis of the academy, after all, and during the infirminary scene at the end of the book, its implied that the Principalis spoke with Emissa beforehand, when he says to Vis that ‘she’s distraught’ and tries convincing Vis to talk to her.

What I noticed in this book is that the author, James Islington, is very careful in what he keeps in the book. Details. Hints. No matter how small or useless they seem. There are MAJOR spoilers, but : Here's a funny example I found.

See? Everything is littered in little details to be explored upon later. Even something as simple as a background detail of Aequa flipping coins.

ALSO, and something that I don’t see talked about for some reason, is the fact that Emissa knows that Indol was planning to deflect from Military to Religion. Indol never told her this. He’s shocked that she knows. Guess who may know??? Veridius???? That's right!!!

The question is, why would Veridius tell Emissa this? No idea from me here. But something else during the Iudicium arc catches my attention, and it’s the fact that Veridius PRIVATELY tells everybody what prize they would get if they won the whole thing. As implied by Eidhin (after he cancels on the Iudicium thing for Vis’ sake), Veridius often tempts them with something they really, really badly want,  and something that would drive them to want to win. 

I’m surprised not many people talk about that scene where Emissa asks Vis for the Heart of Jovan in the Iudicium, so she could win. She’s upset by this, obviously, since she cries and stuff, but I notice that she says “I can’t let us get separated.”

When I first read, I assumed she was talking about Vis, but that wouldn’t make sense, since she basically stabbed him as he fell off a tower (?) like, five seconds later. And also, her and Vis being separated wouldn't be related to her winning the Iudicium, (unless she's in a scenario where she'll have to leave forever or something if she doesn't win, which isn't really likely), Which makes me wonder, who was she really talking about?

Hopefully, we’re find out in the next book. Someone she really cared about? Relative? Family member? Am I missing something? Will this be important?

After all, we don’t exactly 100% know why Veridius planted Vis near the Callidus-Eidhin punchy debacle. He obviously knew Vis would step in.

At first I wondered if he was trying to kick Vis out and expel him, which is probably more likely, but right now I’m running on four hours of sleep and I am high on theories.

I think I’ve read this theory somewhere on the Hierarchy subreddit, too, but what if Veridius planned this whole thing, not to expel Vis, but to plant Vis near the stables as his punishment, maybe for Emissa to keep an eye on him? Or woo him for secrets or whatever the fuck? 

At the very least, whether Veridius did purposely plant Vis there for that sole reason, or as an afterthought after Vis worms himself out with the Threefold Apology, I do think that Veridius did make Emissa watch over Vis on purpose.

Otherwise, I think it’ll be a little random with Emissa just casually joining Vis to scoop horse dung, and I do not care how cool or attractive or fascinating he may appear, I still think it’s important. Hopefully? And why do I think so, you may ask?

I do not really think Islington deliberately wanted Emissa and Vis to be like, endgame, endgame. Like, The EndgameTM.  Maybe Emissa was trying to get more information on him. I don't know. It’s plausible. Emissa is top of the academy after Indol, and besides Indol being of course the smartest (as told by Vis), Emissa is FAR smarter than most readers deem her to be. I don't think everything as simple as this. Emissa simply cannot be this blind and radiant and carefree. She isn't in a perfume ad. We've established, from the book itself, that twotm is LAYERS upon LAYERS and twist after twist.

First of all, I’m so sorry, but Emissa and Vis have like no chemistry (imo). They do have maybe like a teeny, tiny bit, but the thing is that Vis has more chemistry with LITERALLY every other character his age BESIDES Emissa. I know, I know, every writer isn’t perfect, but there’s something so suspicious about Emissa and Vis’ dynamic.

As mentioned once on a Hierarchy Series subreddit post, Emissa and Vis have a strange dynamic that is unlike the others characters. With literally every single other character/friendship/relationship that Vis is in, there are details of each interaction, each feeling Vis has with them, what they do, bla bla bla, snippets of the scene, dialogue, ect.

But with Emissa, it’s sort of just…speedran? Like, besides the whole Suus island romance debacle and theatrics, their interactions just sort of go…

“Emissa visited me in the stables and we talked. For a long time. She helped me. She's nice. Also, her eyes are really green.” 

“Emissa sometimes studied with Callidus and I in the morning, sometimes not. Blablabla, she’s great and funny.”

“Emissa talked with me during Suus after noticing that I was uncomfortable with the politician people, blabla. ”

“Emissa and I trained together. In Three. Emissa helped me study. In Three. Wow, she makes me smile. Haha.”

Obviously, I'm exaggerating, but I'm definitely NOT wrong. Open the book and reread it. I DARE you to tell me I'm wrong.

See, there’s no real scene with them. Is it just me who noticed this? Just a time jump where Vis summarizes everything he did with her and how awesome and fun it was. There’s no way an author, writing a book with this much description and detail, just fumbles a romance by writing it like this.

NOT ONLY THAT, but even the CONFESSION scene isn’t anything as theatric as the rest of the book. Not even a SMIDGEN. Even the whole kiss can be easily forgotten. It’s not some dramatic confession. It's not romantic. It's not even sweet and heart-warming in that subtle, simple way. It's just a really lukewarm 'maybe i like you' and then boom, and it's over in an instant.

Vis mentions Indol and the secret that Emissa accidentally exposes of Indol, and then Emissa (suspiciously) changes the topic to how much she likes Vis and kisses Vis. And then boom, romance. A quick end scene, as if it wasn't ever important.

Isn’t it like, hella SUSPICIOUS? She changed the topic. Kissed him. Distracted him. And then the scene ended like it wasn't a whole Vis-Developing, Emissa-Developing, HUGE relationship moment.

Which, yeah, maybe she did like him at some point, but it sure as hell is convenient, isn’t it? I’m super invested in her character now, which is ironic because I used to not be able to STAND her because I just thought her character was just a really poorly written love interest.

I’m convinced Islington has the writer ability to write a confession/kiss scene much better, and much less random than that. Which means that I really don’t think he INTENDED to make hearts swoon. Just to distract.

Emissa is very fascinating, and few people acknowledge that, and I am EXTREMELY excited for The Strength of the Few to release.

[brown-little-robin]

I FIGURED OUT HOW ZOMBIE DISEASE WORKS IN MY AU

This information came to me while working on Reigen and his "Miasmas & Such Consultation Agency". Reigen is still a fraud in this au, claiming to have knowledge and powers that he really... doesn't. But instead of spiritual powers, Reigen pretends to have the ability to see clouds of "miasma" in the air, which are (of course) caused by zombies, and this "miasma" causes all kinds of problems from fences breaking down to stiff shoulders to dirty pond water.

And the thing is, Reigen is making all of this up. But he's not... exactly wrong. Reigen knows how diseases work, in general. In the process of scamming people, he actually gives them excellent advice to keep themselves healthy. And he sometimes accidentally prevents miasma from spreading—just not exactly the way he claims he does.

The thing is, every instance of zombie disease is a physical colony of little germy guys. (Bear with me, I'm not a biologist, I'm just speculating.) The germs have two life stages—juvenile and adult. "Juvenile" zombie disease is indeed a sort of miasma that hangs around harmlessly in the air in little cloud colonies. But when a miasma colony finds waterlogged flesh—a drowned animal, for instance—it migrates into that flesh, grows into its adult water- and human-borne disease form, and spreads from the water to any human that ingests it. The adult disease colony, located in a human, spreads the adult form of the disease through any water/fluid the zombie's saliva comes in contact with. The adult colony also reproduces in the fully infected zombie's lungs, causing their breath to expel new juvenile miasma colonies every so often, starting the cycle over again at the juvenile stage.

So Reigen doesn't actually exorcise miasma with any of his visual tricks (like throwing salt around), but his insistence on clean living, clean environments, and extreme care to keep your water unpolluted probably has saved lives before.

In this AU, Reigen is more of a traveling consultant, by the way! He sticks to the relatively stable and safe collection of townships and residences that used to be Seasoning City, but he's usually on the move. He often "charges" his clients a fee of hospitality, staying at their homes and eating their food for two or three days while he gives them "spiritual advice" on how to keep the "evil miasma" from "haunting" their homes again. His home base, an office in Salt Township, is often empty.

Mob doesn't realize that anyone else can sense what he thinks of as "zombie-breath clouds" until he sees Reigen's sign outside his office: MIASMAS & SUCH CONSULTATION AGENCY (OPEN)!

It's a wild guess on Mob's part, that Reigen might be like him. But the word for "miasma" on the sign is spelled with the kanji for "zombie", so he knocks on Reigen's office door and waits until the door opens.

[fleetways]

Chapter 14: Preparations

get snowed on idiot

[shit-talker]

The only way I can rationalise people accepting literal children going out and fighting crime as Robin is if they don't think Robin is a real child.

I think it would be fun to see how Bruce would use that to his advantage in protecting his kids. Like, if people think Robin isn't human, if they instead think he's a spirit or a ghost, they are less likely to shoot at him, less likely to try and physically attack Robin because they think it would be no use.

The fun part would be deciding HOW they would do this. I like to think that Robin's domino mask doesn't have a hole for his eyes but instead is glazed over so that he can see out of it, but you can't see in. Maybe they install small lights in it so it looks like his eyes glow in the dark, because can you image how fucking scary it would be to just see these two sentient light-like eyes and just know the Batman must be lurking somewhere close by?

Maybe Bruce installs super strong magnets in their gloves because on the chance that someone does pull a gun on his kid close range, it would be a lot easier for them to grab the gun away if they had the force of magnetism on their side. Also, grabbing onto poles and other metal materials would make all the scaling on tall buildings a little safer. Obviously, they'd need a way to turn it on and off, but still. Can you imagine, you're in a warehouse and there are steel frames fucking everywhere and you look up and suddenly there's a child gripping onto one effortlessly? Horrifying.

Maybe they have a voice box. Want to scare people? Play this really ominous recording of a child's laughter that echoes just a bit too loud to be normal. Play this ominous screaming that seems too silent to be real. Play this ticking that seems to never end that induces stress and increases the chance of them messing up.

What would be even funnier is keeping this act up with the Justice League and other teams.

Batman doesn't bring Robin to these meetings at the beginning because he sees no need to involve a preteen in such matters, but at some point the subject does come up and it's sort of like; So, Bats, what exactly is the kid? Like...is he yours?

And Bruce (paranoid as fuck) doesn't want to admit to these people that yes, Robin is my son because hello? That's gotta be his biggest weakness, he would do anything to keep that kid safe and fuck them if they ever tried to hurt him to get to Bruce.

So, he tells them that he's a spirit sent to haunt him and remind the city of it'd failures and the Justice League just... believe him?? Because this is Batman, and why would Batman ever lie about something so, frankly, strange? And it's not a huge deal, like they're a team comprised of metas and aliens and literal godesses, so what if the one normal human guy has a weird little ghost child? Who cares if he cares about it like it's a real boy? Maybe the baby spirit has rights, too!! They don't know!

So, when the JLA gets more popular and becomes an actual, legal part of the American government, they're required to list all of their members. And they class Batman as a human, because that's obvious but next to Robin, they don't really know what to say or how to ask Batman about it, ao they just put "Unknown Child Spirit - TBD"

And then just... never change it?

So, they don't question why a few years later Robin seems to look entirely different, or why after that he changes again, or why Robin is suddenly a girl for a while before going back to a little boy. That's obviously just some weird spirit thing they don't understand, and it's not like Batman is going to explain it!

[spacerockband]

Legend tells of the carp that leapt over the Dragon Gate at the crest of a river and became a stand up comedian.

[lemon-natalia]

Nona the Ninth Reaction - Chapter 1

oooh and now we have another countdown - this time its five days until the tomb opens! which is both concerning and mildly confusing given Harrow already opened the tomb

and a new image for the chapter header - not an animal skull or a skull at all but a cave with chains over it! presumably representing the tomb itself which in of itself is very intriguing

‘Late in the year of nobody she really thought of in particular’ hah

ok so Nona’s dreaming of a painted face … the first two immediate options that come to mind are Gideon and Harrow, clearly. in a body of water, could it be the River? or possibly, if the ‘her’ in ‘her hands’ she’s talking about is Alecto, it could be the saltwater of the tomb?

so far the first thing thats struck me is just how sweet the relationship between Nona and Camilla is 

‘A beaker of violently orange liquid, radioactively orange even in the dark’ what the fuck kinda eggs are these guys eating

and Nona has black hair! very long black hair which grows fast, which very much suggests that this is Harrow’s body, given what Ianthe did to her hair last book. this also pretty much rules out another initial theory i had for Nona, which was that she might have been in Gideon’s body, since we know that was picked up by the BoE last book

and another point for being some kind of amnesiac Harrow - Nona appears to have a lot of issues with eating 

Okay … so Camilla and Pal are sharing Camilla’s body, kind of a reverse of Gideon-in-Harrow last book, but not quite given that they somehow seem to have swapped each-others eye colours. It’s not just that they’re sharing a body, since Gid & Harrow explicitly retained their own eye colours, but some kind of other situation

hmm Nona seems relatively upbeat, but there’s a lot of conversation about militia links and black market goods, life wherever they are doesn’t seem all that great tbh

and they’re hiding something about the overall situation they’re in from Nona, and its very unclear whose side they’re on. given the end of the last book, the fact they seem to be in some kind of hiding on a non-House planet, I doubt they’re fully with the Emperor/Nine Houses. but then they definitely don’t seem to be onboard with, and have a very uneasy relationship with, the Blood of Eden, especially given the whole kinda-Lyctorhood situation they’ve got going on. 

and there’s an awful lot going on here. they keep mentioning a search and recovery mission, which begs the question for what exactly are they looking for. it can’t be the Tomb or anything because its pretty well known where THAT is. and Pal and Pyrrha have very different philosophies on whatever’s happening - Pal seems to want to help some kind of situation with people trapped in barracks, while Pyrrha thinks its not worth it. and on top of all of that BoE is not quite one cohesive group as it was described in HtN, there’s some kind of inter-organisational conflict going on. 

‘I know how to farm … I can teach you and Nona’ rip G1deon who never got to live his Stardew Valley dreams. Locked Tomb: the Farming Simulator when?

also it is interesting that even G1deon, seemingly the most loyal of the Emperor’s lyctors (or at least the only one seemingly not actively trying to kill him) still had a backup plan and wanted to run away to just lead some kind of a normal life

and they need masks of some kind? and Nona’s immune - more points for her being Harrow, or at least in Harrow’s body, Nona’s body clearly works like a Lyctors 

oh shit there’s a mysterious blue light in the sky that’s ‘periscoping’? It could be some kind of surveillance but i think its far more likely to be the seventh Resurrection Beast, which is there for … some reason? Lotta questions raised just in this one chapter