#least I can headcanon they all survived off screen

[survivinglifesstruggles]

Your daily reminder that we were robbed of the Four Storms - Cassandra, Maris, Ellyn, & Floris Baratheon - and witnessing their dynamic by how they interacted with Aemond and Lucerys.

You hear me, ROBBED.

[tangyangie]

karma general dating headcanons!

— first of all.. he definitely teases you. way more than anyone else. like, if him teasing the class was a 10 on the scale, you'd be a 26.

— he likes to poke you. there's no specific reason, you're just so.. pokeable. he likes to see your skin smush beneath his finger as you face slowly gets more annoyed. he will stop eventually, if you ask him to.

— he likes to buy you things. he will get you gifts that you've only mentioned once before, as a general thought. it's honestly baffling how closely he listens to what you say.

— he learns as much as possible about your tastes. you like a certain music artist? he's memorized the discography in one day. if he sees you browsing a site on how to make a certain dish? he learns how to cook it on the way to the grocery store to get the ingredients.

— he gives you massages. he notices how tense you may get, and wants to relieve this pressure. but, if you make any noise at all, he'll tease the shit out of you. be prepared.

— he does your schoolwork for you. if you forgot to do an assignment right before class, he'll write down the answers as fast as he possibly can. although korosensei probably wouldn't get too angry, you'd rather not deal with the speech.

— he loves to kiss you. a lot. he will completely engulf your face with his lips, all leading up to a final kiss on the lips and a tap on your nose. he constantly amuses you with this predictable pattern. -- one time, you decided to dodge the final kiss, and he acted so offended. he got back at you, though. you didn't escape him that time.

— he's a very light sleeper. if you move at all, he's waking up. just getting up to get a glass of water will make him jerk awake like the earth is destroying itself underneath his feet. you apologize every time, but no amount of sleeping aids helps.

— he initiates a lot of pillow fights. you say something with a little too much of a teasing smile, and he'll get you back by smothering you with a fluffy pillow. you laugh from underneath, but he'll only grab more to destroy you (with love) until you surrender.

— he makes fun of the characters in movies. you watch a horror movie, and he'll be yelling at the screen for the character not to go back to the door, how stupid they're being, and how he'd totally be able to survive whatever the phenomenon is.

— he's the least clumsy person you'll ever meet. he could probably carry ten gallons of water in paint buckets all stacked over each other on his head for 3 miles, and there would be absolutely no drop spilled.

— he likes to take you on fun dates. you'll both find an old park with a tire swing, and you'll hang out there every day eating oranges while hanging upside down on the monkey bars.

— he's a drama queen. he'll fall backwards theatrically with the back of his hand on his forehead and gracefully land on the grass. all of this because you refused to skip class with him.

— he's extremely protective. i don't think i need to mention this, but if he hears that anyone even laid a finger on you, he'll go pay them a friendly visit. they won't be coming to school for at least a week.

— he steals blankets. although it's mostly when he sleeps, he does it when he's awake, too. you're freezing your ass off? not his problem. (part of him wants you to cuddle up to him and beg him to wrap his arm around you.)

notes: this was so much fun to make!! i need to make more headcanons of random people who i'm thinking of atm..

[sixtysixproblems]

(kicks down door) hey. hey guys. keeli & ponds have the same rusty colored armor, in i think the exact same shade. keeli was a captain and not a commander, so logically it's possible he served under one. so keeli was one of ponds's captains and i will die on this hill. considering how talented he seemed to be in the little screen time he had (and considering he was trusted highly enough to serve directly with a jedi), he could have been Ponds's second-in-command even. ya'll. ya'll what the FUCK am i supposed to do with this at 12 fucking am.

have some semi-organized/semi-incoherent thoughts:

this battalion seems to have really shitty luck with Clone COs getting fucking twc is a tragedy'd because YEOWCH. like can you imagine, your captain and all the clones with him die in a self-sacrifice last stand, and then your commander + command crew of a cruiser dies to bounty hunters. like i bet it's not THAT uncommon, and the 501st had a lot of plot armor in a way, but still?? that relatively early on in the war both times too?????? and can you imagine being Mace (and possibly Neyo) and having to navigate that morale disaster on top of your own probably messy feelings on both situations? like yikes oh my god.

well now i'm drawing parallels between their deaths, gee thanks. and now im wondering that after keeli died in that way, that was a big part of why Ponds chose to go down with the ship? like, from what we gathered of him, it seemed to be in character regardless...but if Keeli and a bunch of other men had died under his command, i bet it didn't even feel like an option to abandon the command crew/admiral-- even if it seemed implied (or at least in my interpretation) that ponds wasn't obligated or even expected to stay on the cruiser.

both deaths are written to make the audience feel shitty despite not really knowing these characters, but for different reasons. keeli's feels very "classic tragedy" aka it sort of echoes some greek/roman myths and tragedies for me. like it's very honorable, brave, and it's a heroic sacrifice, and because twc is twc it's a brutal fight pretty damn clear (to my recollection at least) no one got out of that fight alive. you root for the characters because they're pretty fucking likable instantly because of what they're willing to do to protect the twi'leks, even if you can tell they're doomed from the start or you're on a rewatch. you know why it has to happen, you just cant help but hope it won't. filoni seems to like this trick a lot cough cough fives

Ponds's death by contrast, was intended to feel pointless, and that's where the sense of tragedy/audience's sadness comes from at least in part. keeli's death was sad because even if these characters could have lived, they were too good to take that road and instead picked the greater good, and it was just...fucking sad, man (its 12 dont come here for good analysis). By contrast, despite ponds having a pretty impressive handle on the situation actually (he seems to get under Sing's skin a little, and it's my opinion/headcanon that the CT number he gave was a lie), it's not like he's actually in control of the situation/has any agency at all. It's cruel and it's unfair and feels pointless, especially considering he survived the ship crash and survived the bounty hunter's attack on the survivors-- and especially contrasted with most other named character TWC deaths, which are almost always in battle/a heroic sacrifice/etc.

so yeah, moral of the story, while the deaths have some parallels to me, they're also very different. filoni used different writing tricks to make me you cry over another barely mentioned copy paste man. again.

very unhappy considering the HCs of Rex both being close to Keeli (often as batchmates), and being stolen adopted by Cody & CC batch. i'm also very unhappy about all of this in general.

one thing that's interesting, is that clearly keeli's death can be pulled off without any previous screentime (sobs). but i dont think ponds's death would have worked as well if it wasn't for his (albiet brief) screentime in the ryloth arc. like, in hindsight, oh boy-- there is no reason (I can parse out, at least) to give precious screentime Mace Windu's random clone commander primarily to make him more likable-- via a good report with Windu, and wanting to pass on rations to the civilian/sad about ensuing warcrimes-- if you weren't, oh i dont know, trying to get the audience a little attached or at least remember his name for when you fucking kill him. like yeah, those scenes served dual purpose, but the other plot-y goals (like "here's the horror of fucking war again in our pg7 show") could have been pulled off other ways with characters that get more focus/the audience already knows (Cham, who would have a more emotional reaction, and Mace, who the audience already has a rapport with). maybe im thinking too far into this, but Perhaps Not.

my "first" (probably not, but first watch since i was ten) of That Scene involved "oh fuck that isn't the nice commander from ryloth right" (checks wookipedia) "fuuuuuuuuuck--", so. it still would have been sad, but it's a lot more sad if you remember (even vaguely) who he is and have your (anakin sad boy voice) "that was ponds" moment.

yeah idk how to end this. suffer as i have, i guess?

[ripaxel-mkulia-double-date]

Hi to all my fans

You see this guy? Do you know him?

You might not as he only appeared in one episode physically (169 episodes including Ridonculous Race, 143 excluding Ridonculous Race, and that's not even including DRAMARAMA, the point is he's not even appeared in 1% of all total drama episodes ever made since the show aired in 2007) but this guy is called Beardo

I don't see many posts about Beardo which makes sense as he appeared in less than 1% of all total drama franchise episodes however I'd like to get some Beardo love going!

He has a really cool design

He's great at making sound effect noises

He doesn't speak until his elimination because he's shy

Fun fact he's appeared the least out of anyone in total drama ever with just one episode

He first appeared on our English TV screens on July 7th 2014. That means he'll be ten total drama years old this July!

He is based off Reggie Watts in appearance

His name is actually pronounced "bee air dough" but most characters call him "beard-o"

I really encourage you all to like if you like Beardo, and maybe reblog or reply some Beardo love so we can spread some positivity around this underrated character

Where were you when you first saw Beardo?

Do you want Beardo to come back?

Should he have been first boot?

What if Beardo survived the first elimination and opened up to people?

What if Beardo was brought back for the pahkitew island finale?

These are just some great questions to think about

Did you know? This post took me three minutes to make. Three minutes and I can't stop thinking about Beardo! By just taking 3 minutes of your day to think about an underrated character in the total drama show, you can start to develop a new appreciation for a character and hopefully spread the awareness of said character (in this case Beardo)

I bet Beardo really likes to bake and his favourite thing to make is a loafcake 😊 what headcanons do you have for this camper?

Well, that's all from me. Until next time,

Glen

[victorluvsalice]

Happy Birthday Newt!

@dont-offend-the-bees A combination of you telling me that anything cute and Valicey would do as a birthday fic and me knowing that you are still into Saw as a fandom led to this -- Victor and Alice reacting to the first Saw movie, inspired by a couple of posts I saw on your blog before you moved all the Sawposting to The Secret Saw Sideblog! Though the fic is technically Valicer out of necessity, because the only way I could think of to get the pair to watch it was to have it be a Halloween Movie Nights pick by Smiler's friend Thirteen, as per this headcanon post...

--

“That is unfair!”

“What’s unfair?” Thirteen asked, looking over at Alice.

“The ending!” Alice said, waving at the slowly-rolling credits on the screen before them. “All Jigsaw said to Adam was that he had to survive until six o’clock, correct? Nothing else? No other secret catches?”

“Don’t ask me,” Victor muttered, hands over his face. “I am actively trying to erase this movie from my mind.”

“There there,” Smiler said, rubbing his back comfortingly. “You’ll be fine – and yeah, ‘survive until six’ was the gist of it,” they added to Alice.

“Well, six o’clock rolled around, and Adam was still alive!” Alice pointed out, stabbing another finger at the TV. “He was wounded, sure, but he was still very much fucking alive! Which means he succeeded! Lawrence was the one who failed in his goal! And yet Lawrence’s the one who gets to crawl off and seek help while Adam gets electrocuted and sentenced to – I guess starving to death in that horrible bathroom? All because he, unsurprisingly, didn’t notice a damn key in his bathtub when he first woke up?”

“You are assuming a lot in thinking Lawrence survived after–” Victor swallowed and shuddered. “After c-cutting off his own f-f-foot.”

“Actually, uh, it’s canon Lawrence survives,” Oblivion put in, sporting a slightly sheepish grin. “He shows up again in Saw 3D.”

“Oh great – when do we watch that one?”

“Don’t worry, we don’t have time for tonight,” Thirteen informed him with a cheeky smirk.

“What, because it’s long?”

“No, because it’s film number seven.”

That finally got Victor to look up. “It’s – wait, what?”

“Yeah, for some reason they decided to name it after the 3D gimmick instead of following the numbering system,” Rita explained, leaning around her girlfriend. “And then films eight and nine are Jigsaw and Spiral respectively, though Spiral’s actually more like a spin-off of the main series–”

“Can I please fully express my annoyance over the fact that Jigsaw killed Adam despite him winning his ‘game’ before we start talking about how this series screwed up its numbering system over halfway through?” Alice cut in, folding her arms and scowling.

“Well, the thing you have to understand about Jigsaw is – he’s a total asshole,” Thirteen reminded her. “He says that his games are to help ‘rehabilitate’ people and make them appreciate life and all that bullshit, sure, but honestly, I believe the dude just wants to torture as many people as he can, both before and after he bites it.”

“I can believe that,” Victor muttered, shivering. Smiler put a comforting arm around him. “And this is probably the least bloody of all the movies, isn’t it?”

“I haven’t seen them all, but I’m pretty sure it is, yes,” Galactica confirmed, giving him a sympathetic look from the other side of Oblivion. “You know, you could have left if you weren’t enjoying it – we wouldn’t have thought any less of you for it.”

“Yeah, I’m shocked you actually sat through the whole thing,” Smiler admitted, giving him a little squeeze.

“I am too, honestly,” Alice said, wrapping her arm around him to do the same. “I’m used to horrors like these – hell, the bathroom looked kind of like one I saw in Rutledge – but I know it’s not your cup of tea.”

“I thought it would be too rude to just get up and leave,” Victor groaned, putting his face in his hands again. “And I kept telling myself, ‘it’s the very first one, it can’t be that bad...’”

“We won’t make you watch any of the others,” Thirteen promised, patting his knee. “I mean, I appreciate you making the effort, but despite appearances, I don’t want you to have nightmares.”

“Thanks.” Victor shook his head. “I know you love that sort of thing, but – it’s just not for me.”

“Me either – especially if John Kramer can’t practice what he preaches,” Alice agreed, glaring at the screen as the DVD menu came up again.

“It’s actually not my favorite series either, if I’m honest,” Thirteen confessed. “I just like this one because of all the hot gay tension between Lawrence and Adam.”

“...there was a surprising amount of that,” Victor allowed.

“Mmm – though given Lawrence is married, he’d better start talking to his wife about either opening the relationship or getting a divorce before he hobbles his way back to that bathroom,” Alice declared.

“You know, I bet there’s a fic like that somewhere on AO3,” Smiler said, pulling out their phone. “Who wants to find a nice domestic AU to help us all decompress?”

[risingsouls]

I mean, while the narrative by no means excuses them, they're shown as being desperate survivors, resorting to cruel acts to survive a universe that pm doomed them to extinction. And arguing for genocide is disgusting. And on Bulma, I agree, original material is not the friendliest to female characters, they hardly get to do anything before being married off and forgotten about. like how does someone forget that raditz/nappa/etc were only doing that to survive...? frieza drove them to it

[Part one here:]

[I saw this and thought the goons had come back to argue with me lmao. But I'm glad that isn't the case and it's someone else that saw how...uh...problematic the narrative of the other side of the argument was positing.

Under the cut for length and ~drama~.

As you said, the Saiyans were by no means good, but they didn't deserve to be wiped out (I mean...that's not even why they WERE wiped out...at least so long as we ignore implications of Beerus telling Frieza to do it which was dumb anyway so). No one does. I will say that, at least from what I understand (and accept; they seem to change the Saiyan's history every other saga), the Saiyans were always looking for a fight, and, according to at least the dub I know, they did go to other planets to do that and wreak havoc even before King Cold got his mitts on them. Whether that was to CONQUER said planets or not also depends on what part of the series you're watching it seems but you know. So they've definitely always had some questionable practices, but that doesn't mean they're evil by design and deserve total destruction.

And that's not even talking about basically ANYTHING we see of Saiyan culture/lifestyle IS post colonization by the Colds. We don't ACTUALLY get to see what their culture WAS without it being tainted by being ruled by another empire. We get some hints, most of which end up contradicted or something as I mentioned earlier, but we have no way of knowing what was purely from Saiyan culture and what got changed, adopted, or expunged.

The point I was trying to make with the Bulma and Vegeta stuff was that a lot of Bulma's behavior stifles or at least attempts to stifle even the most innocuous portions of Vegeta's Saiyan-ness he can practice and show like simply training/fighting (which is part of their culture and maybe even biology, despite what the arguers wanted to say). This is more headcanon-y, but that would probably extend to other aspects of his personality, practices, etc. that did come from his Saiyan heritage that didn't jive with how she wanted him to be or expected him to be. The folks in question unfortunately took that to mean I meant the worst parts of his old lifestyle which wasn't what I was talking about at all. Vegeta himself has no interest in conquest anymore, so their arguments were ridiculous from the get go. However, the things Bulma says and does on screen reveal that she wants him to be an Earthling husband. She wants him to act fully like an Earthling, and she has never been shown to care about his history or learning about it and his culture (i.e. Vegeta has had to inform her and the others of different aspects of Saiyan lifestyle and biology, stuff that she could have easily already known if she, imo, bothered to understand that part of him). And I'm not even saying that's REALLY a huge problem on the surface; you can't really blame her when that's all SHE knows and how her character is. Sexism aside, she is meant to be a spoiled, self-serving brat from the beginning. When it DOES become a problem is that, as I mentioned, she doesn't TRY to understand him on that level, and there are no hints that she has tried. She basically seems to pull exactly what the people that had a problem with what I said did in just assuming Saiyans are just genocidal killers with nothing else to them (and a note: I know Vegeta would probably be difficult to talk to about this but you get me I think).

Overall, I think they were just mad that I dared to call Bulma abusive and is a second Frieza for Vegeta based on this singular post where I didn't really get into the meat of why I think that because I've talked about it several times before. Yes, the writing for her is oftentimes sexist and awful like it is with pretty much every other woman in the series, but that...doesn't really play ball here. The point I was trying to make is that, while it's not on purpose or maliciously (another nuance of my post the people with a problem failed to even ask me about because they went immediately on the attack), is that Vegeta basically ended up in another relationship where he was being controlled by another person (again, perhaps not in a malicious way but she held a lot over him in terms of having a place to live and survive, especially when we know the dude was super depressed post Cell Saga; man was not about to have the wherewithal to fucking find a job and get a place of his own on a planet he knows so little about, so yeah...he's gonna take the easiest option available), something that I think is more apparent in Super than Z but it's still there. And yeah, I actually agree that he should just ignore her when he wants to train or leave or do something that isn't what she wants him to do at the time. But if we go by canon and how it's written (which I can say THIS would be where the sexism comes in), that's not what happens. Bulma does whatever she can to get what she wants from Vegeta in apparent and subtle ways that come off as pretty abusive.

And I'll say it now: Vegeta is fucking abusive and toxic, too. I've said it a million and three times, but since I didn't say it in the post in question, apparently I just don't think that. Which isn't true. Vegeta is shitty to Bulma from day fucking one. I really don't understand why they end up together as, again, I've said a million times. The choice is absolutely disrespectful to Bulma's character. Something else I've said ad nauseum. But again...this one post was the one they cherrypicked to get pissed over.

I got accused of not seeing nuance in any of this during this...debate. Thing is, this take is based on what happens in canon. This is my reading of the relationship based on canon events, and even then, it's just a SLIVER of what I think about their canon relationship. If I had my way? This relationship wouldn't exist or, at the very least, would be written VERY differently, from making Bulma be less of a sexist stereotype (in the relationships and in all aspects) to how Vegeta reacts to her always forcing him to do shit he doesn't want to or, perhaps, isn't even comfortable with (see: parties, huge get togethers for her work, vacations). I would actually write it more like we see in the Buu Saga and GT, where the two DO eventually seem to have an understanding of each others boundaries and have maybe actually gotten to know each other (something I really don't see in Super...at all). It would be more realistic for the two of them rather than this over the top ridiculousness we get from canon and fanon that doesn't fit the relationship. The post I made was about their CANON presentation, not what I would care to see or anything that would "fix" the ship.

Point is, people got in their feelings because I said canon sucks in handling Vegeta and Bulma, and I pointed out that their fave is problematic, all to base their accusations of me being sexist and unable to see nuance or understand the definition of culture on a single post that wasn't near as detailed as I've been in the past (and I've probably still missed thoughts here). They came off as super problematic because of that anger at my take and made comments that painted them as basically okay with the Saiyans being eradicated because of one aspect of their lifestyle which, in some regards, was something they had no choice in at the point of their demise (even if they might be doing similar anyway; problem is we can't know what they might have done if they had agency that wasn't marred by being ruled by the Cold Empire). But it is what it is.

I'll end saying this because, again, they missed every other post I've made about this. I don't hate Bulm, and I actually do hate how she's written. The biggest reason I criticize her and Vegeta in terms of this relationship is that most of the fandom and the ship's stans don't want to actually SEE that. They don't see how her writing is sexist a lot of the time and that her behavior doesn't make sense and IS actually toxic. The RELATIONSHIP is toxic on BOTH SIDES as it's WRITTEN (unfortunately, yeah, the writing makes Bulma MUCH WORSE than Vegeta in Super; I stand by that) and that's what I'm getting at. I point these things out because this fandom likes to paint Vegeta and Bulma as #couplesgoals and pretend they have no issues when that's just not true. It's red flag central up in there, but their rose-colored glasses are too thick for them to see it because they love the "beauty and the beast" "regular girl domesticates feral man" and "love conquers all" tropes and refuse to see the problems with the relationship.]

[swaps55]

Heartstoppers from Beyond the Veil

@pigeontheoneandonly shared a Treat headcanon on Halloween that due to a series of unlikely events, Kaidan had a single speaking line in a B-movie while in college.

I thought this was incredible, so I wrote about it. Set in the Opus!verse, pre-ME1, on the SSV Myeongnyang. Shockingly, it turned into a Sam & Kaidan first kiss AU. No one could have seen this coming.

Happy N7 Day!

mshenko/3.5k words | Ao3

~

Shepard thunders through the ‘Yang’s airlock like it’s a day of reckoning, and every single person between him and the crew deck makes the quick and wise decision to get the hell out of his way before they wind up being the one he reckons with.

He blows past the mess – where Kaidan, Aslany, and Beaudoin watch Pendergrass continue to add pepper to a bowl of macaroni and cheese – without a hello, on a trajectory for the gym. Some poor punching bag is probably about to see its life flash before its eyes.

“What the fuck is eating him?” Pendergrass asks. Kaidan’s already lost the bet on how much pepper she can add before it becomes inedible. Aslany and Beaudoin have more faith in her ability to consume ungodly amounts of pepper.

“Lunch with his mother,” Kaidan says with a sigh. The stars had aligned to put both the ‘Yang and the Hyderabad at Arcturus at the same time. Kaidan had tried convincing him to turn down Captain Shepard’s invitation – she’s sure set a precedent for it – but it had been like trying to reason with a brick wall.

And now they’re all going to pay the price.

“Who gets the short straw for sorting him out enough to have movie night?” Aslany asks as Pendergrass dumps more pepper into the bowl. Kaidan considers looking up if there’s a threshold where pepper becomes toxic. When they sat down for this experiment, Kaidan kept telling himself at least Pendergrass cooked the mac and cheese, unlike Shepard who eats it raw, straight out of the box with the cheese powder as a seasoning.

“Unless I get hazard pay, not me,” Beaudoin says.

“You’re a goat,” Aslany says. “That’s what you do.”

“Goat, sure, but I’m a goat with self-preservation instincts.”

“I could tape a note to Stabby,” Pendergrass offers. “That might be safest.”

“I’ll do it,” Kaidan says.

They all stare at him like he’s volunteered for a suicide mission. It’s not far from the truth. Even Kaidan rarely has luck talking him down from this kind of black mood, and just waits for it to blow over on its own. Surviving the attempt is going to require an ace he’s been keeping up his sleeve in hopes he’d never have to use it.

But the squad has rituals.

Kaidan sighs heavily. “I just need you all to understand the sacrifice I’m about to make in the name of movie night.”

~

Shepard’s still a bomb waiting to go off by the time they pile on the couches for movie night, but at least he’s there. Kaidan is the only one brave enough to sit beside him, and Shepard has the audacity to glare at him, like the whole thing is his fault.

“This better be as good as you say,” Shepard grumbles. “I’ve got shit to do.”

“No you don’t,” Kaidan replies.

Shepard’s glare could wilt steel, but Kaidan’s right, so the threat is empty. If only the Alliance brass knew how petulantly the Butcher of Torfan could pout.  

“Also,” Kaidan cautions, queuing up the movie and kissing any sense of peace he might ever have again in his life goodbye, “I never said it was good. I cannot state that clearly enough. All I said is it’s one of a kind.”

Beaudoin hands out beers to everyone before sitting down beside Aslany on the second couch, while Pendergrass drapes over an armchair in ways that hurt Kaidan’s back just to look at her. Beaudoin squints at the dramatic title scrawl when Kaidan hits play.

“Heartstoppers from Beyond the Veil. Well. It’s definitely a B-movie.”

Shepard eyes the screen warily. “I haven’t heard of this one.”

Kaidan hides a smirk. “I told you.”

“I’ve heard of all of them,” Shepard insists. “There’s no way you actually know one I don’t.”

“It had a limited release,” Kaidan says, eyes on the screen and not anywhere near Shepard, who is now very intrigued.

“What’s it about?” Pendergrass asks.

“Shapeshifters who come to terrorize the teenagers in a small town on Earth. They stop people’s hearts with a ray gun. But they have to shapeshift into the species whose heart they’re stopping for it to work.”

“…I have so many questions,” Beaudoin says.

“I can guarantee you all the answers have to do with budget, costuming limitations, and the age pool of people who owed the production crew favors.”

Shepard looks at Kaidan like he’s the shapeshifter. “How do you know about this movie?”

“Just watch,” Kaidan replies.

It’s just as bad as Kaidan remembers. The costumes look like someone decided to predict the future of fashion by going back to the 20th century and revisiting their ideas on the future of fashion. The relay is a flat image with a strobe light in the gyroscope to mimic the mass effect core. The shapeshifter ship is just stock footage of an Alliance cruiser with a badly superimposed ship name. The Temptation’s Berth.

“Little on the nose, isn’t it?” Aslany asks.

“They were aiming for symbolism,” Kaidan replies.

“They missed.”

“No,” Shepard says, reaching for Pendergrass’ bowl of popcorn, excitement creeping across his face. “It’s perfect.”

Kaidan stifles a smile behind his hand. Letting this particular skeleton out of the closet is something he’ll probably never live down.

That smile is worth it.

Kaidan settles back into the couch and awaits his fate.  

Aslany figures it out first.

“Wait,” she says, thirty minutes in, after the first heart-stopping death but before the ‘band of teenage heroes come together as a team to stop the shapeshifter threat’ part. Before anyone can react, she backs the movie up a few frames and pauses it. When no one says anything, she jabs a finger right through the holo projection.

Beaudoin nearly chokes on his drink. “Wait. Alenko. Is that you?”

Four pairs of incredulous eyes swivel towards Kaidan.

“Maybe,” Kaidan replies, and takes a sip from his beer.

“What the fuck are you wearing?” Pendergrass crows, dissolving into helpless laughter.

“Reflective mylar.”

It had crinkled to the point of distraction and been murderously hot to wear. Well, for the parts of him that were covered, anyway.

“Your tits are hanging out,” Pendergrass cries, actual tears forming. “Damn, Alenko, you were in your prime.”

“I’m still in my prime,” he protests.  

Aslany sniggers into the arm rest. Beaudoin’s face does a series of acrobatics trying to remain neutral while processing the sight of a twenty-year old Kaidan wearing a reflective mylar jumpsuit with the chest cut out.

Shepard, though, just openly stares.

“How, um.” Shepard stops, gathers his thoughts with a bewildered shake of his head, and finally tears his gaze away to look at the present incarnation of Kaidan Alenko. Who isn’t wearing a playboy mylar jumpsuit. “How did you wind up in this movie, exactly?”

Kaidan fights back some thoughts over the way Shepard just stared at his bare chest – sure, it was a digital version of it from ten years ago, but it was his chest – and clears his throat. “I did OCS in Mumbai and squeaked in some university credits while I was there. I, uh, accidentally wound up friends with a group of film students after my roommate dragged me to a party.”

“What, and you just said, ‘hey, sure, I’ll prance around half-naked in your shitty space movie?’” Aslany asks with a snort.

“No,” Kaidan replies, attempting to remain diplomatic. “A buddy of mine had a thing for the script writer. Or was she a producer? Hell, I can’t remember. She did a lot of things on that movie. He forced me to go to auditions with him as a wingman.”

“And?” Aslany prods.

Kaidan sighs. “She gave the part to me, not him.”

“Part?” Shepard exclaims. “You had a part? You weren’t just an extra?”

“One line. Just one line. That…she rewrote. After I got cast. Because, uh. Turns out she wasn’t into my buddy.”

Beaudoin once again fails to sip his beer without choking.

“She was into you,” Pendergrass yells. “She put you in a metallic sex jumpsuit because you were hot as fuck.”

“I’m sorry,” Kaidan says, in exasperation, “Why do we keep using the past tense about my appearance?”

“I’m just saying. Bet people wanted to climb you like a tree.”

This time Beaudoin manages to swallow his beer by downing half the bottle.

Aslany jabs at the holo controls. “Wait, so what’s the line?”

“Yeah,” Shepard says, an almost captivated look on his face. His eyes dart briefly back to the holo. “What’s your line?”  

Kaidan sighs in defeat and gestures to Aslany. “Go on. Play it.”

On the screen, a group of ‘teenagers’ – not a single one younger than twenty, Kaidan recalls – being targeted by the shapeshifters furtively discuss their plight at a table in a bar, while suspecting each other of being shapeshifters. Kaidan, credited as ‘Bartender #9’ despite being the only bartender in the movie, serves them their drinks.

“Aren’t you afraid one of us could be a shape shifter?” one of the women – the writer, who pulled double duty as one of the heroic ‘teens’ – asks him. Kaidan braces himself.

“Can’t stop my heart when I’ve already given it to someone else.”

Pendergrass howls and throws the entire bowl of popcorn, showering both couches. Aslany grabs a pillow and buries her face in it to smother her laughter. Beaudoin tries to say something and only manages a wheeze. Shepard just stares at him – both versions of him – like he’s walked into an MC Escher painting and can’t find his way back out.

“That’s your line?” Pendergrass cries. “That’s your line? What does that mean?”

Kaidan shrugs, side-eyeing Shepard.

“You even winked at her,” Aslany says in awe.

“Please tell me you get your heart stopped by a shapeshifter,” Beaudoin says.

“My fate is unknown,” Kaidan replies. “That’s my only scene. Shockingly, the royalties were not enough for me to retire on.”

Shepard rewinds and plays through it twice more, expression almost impossible to read until he turns back to Kaidan, a slow grin spreading across his face.

“This is fucking incredible.”

Kaidan’s stomach flips.

“How could you keep this from me?”

“Well, it’s not exactly a career highlight,” Kaidan replies, flush creeping up his neck. “But…you love these kinds of movies. Figured one day you might need a pick me up.” He takes a deliberate sip of his beer to avoid Shepard’s gaze.

He waits for Shepard to say something. For anyone to say something. Instead, Shepard slings an arm behind Kaidan and rests it on the back of the couch – not quite around Kaidan’s shoulders, but not not around his shoulders – and rewinds the scene to watch it again.  

“Fucking incredible,” Shepard repeats. Butterflies loose in Kaidan’s stomach.

“You’re so weird,” Pendergrass tells him with a snicker.

They watch the scene three more times, each time resulting in extended commentary on Kaidan’s outfit, before Aslany wrestles control of the holo away from Shepard and lets the movie just play. Beaudoin shakes his head the entire time. Aslany points out every gun-toting actor who’s never held a gun. Pendergrass attempts to make a drinking game out of the mylar costumes, but everyone quickly decides they don’t want to be that hung over.

Shepard just watches the movie, posture relaxed, easy grin on his face, no trace of the storm clouds. Every now and then he shifts his gaze away from the screen to look at Kaidan, and each time, Kaidan’s stomach does another somersault. By the end of it, their knees rest against each other and Shepard’s fingers brush Kaidan’s shoulder.

Yeah. It’s worth a future full of mylar jokes.

“That was terrible,” Beaudoin announces when the credits roll.

“I was rooting for the shapeshifters,” Aslany says.

“Do you think they sell mylar on Arcturus?” Pendergrass asks.

Shepard almost whacks Kaidan in the head when he retracts his arm to wrestle the remote from Aslany before she can turn it off. “Hang on, not yet.”

“It’s over,” Aslany protests. “Time for darts.”

“He wants to see Alenko’s name in the credits,” Beaudoin says with a shit-eating grin. Shepard, for his part, actually looks flustered.

“Yeah,” he admits.

“It’s no big deal,” Kaidan says, ears burning.

“Big deal to me,” Shepard says, knocking him in the shoulder. “One of our squad’s a movie star.”

“Hardly.”

Shepard ignores him and squints at the credits. Kaidan tries not to preen over the attention, which is easy when Pendergrass starts laughing again.

“Kaiden Alenko,” Aslany reads. “They spelled it wrong.”

“All the easier to keep it a secret,” Kaidan tells her. “I’m trusting the four of you with my life here.”

“Thought you were smarter than that,” Beaudoin says with a chuckle.

Pendergrass, who is now upside down on the couch with her feet in the air and her head dangling near the floor, eyes him. “So what happened with you and the writer?”

“What do you mean?” Kaidan asks.

“Did she get in your pants like she wanted?”

Beaudoin smacks her leg. She winds up sliding off the couch and onto the floor, before fumbling for some needlepoint she keeps stashed under the coffee table. Kaidan can only imagine the additions coming to the cross-stitch wall.

“Um, no,” Kaidan replies, rubbing the back of his neck, aware that Shepard is paying rapt attention. “Though, uh, I did wind up at her place.”

“Wait, but you said she didn’t get in your pants,” Aslany says, confusion on her face.

“Well, she said she wanted to talk about the movie.”

Beaudoin raises an eyebrow. “She put you in a mylar jumpsuit without a shirt, had you deliver a line about giving her your heart, and you thought she wanted to talk about the movie?”

He shrugs helplessly.

Beaudoin props his chin in a hand. “This is fascinating to me.”

“So…what happened?” Shepard says, twirling his beer in his hands and staring very intently at the remaining liquid swishing inside.

Kaidan glances at him, then shrugs again. “I left after she told me I wasn’t a good kisser.”

“I highly doubt that,” Shepard mutters under his breath, and Beaudoin chokes on his drink again.

“Well, yeah,” Aslany deadpans. “You hadn’t given her your heart.”

Pendergrass sniggers. Beaudoin offers Aslany a high five, which she accepts with a resounding smack.

Kaidan ignores all of them. Except Shepard.

“You, uh. You think I’d be a good kisser.”  

Shepard heaves to his feet. “What aren’t you good at?”

Kaidan stutters long enough on a response that Shepard is already halfway to the dart board, apparently already having left the topic behind.

Probably for the best.

Beaudoin makes a round of drinks, and each of them take turns quoting Heartstoppers when it’s their turn to throw darts. Kaidan does his best to forget about the whole thing, which is hard to do when Shepard keeps stealing glances in his direction.

“You’re off your game tonight, Alenko,” Beaudoin says with a grin.

Kaidan scowls at him before sinking a bullseye.

“Yeah, but can you do that in mylar?” Aslany asks.

This time it’s Shepard who chokes into his drink and hastily wipes his chin.

Don’t read into it, don’t read into it.

“I trusted you with this very humiliating fact about my youth, Aslany,” he says instead.

“Yeah, but you forgot you’re ours to humiliate,” Aslany reminds him. “It’s other people who try to humiliate you we’ll beat the shit out of.”  

He chuckles. Shepard’s lip curves in a smile that warms Kaidan right to his toes.

When they finally call it a night, Kaidan deviates towards the dark, quiet galley to dig some crackers out of the ‘hungry biotic’ stash he keeps stocked in a drawer. Shepard’s biotic field washes through him when he straightens. The other three are nowhere in sight.

“Hey,” Kaidan says, blinking at him curiously. “Still hungry?”

Shepard shakes his head, rocking back and forth on his toes, glancing from his feet to something behind Kaidan’s shoulder – anywhere but Kaidan himself.

“What’s wrong?” Kaidan asks, wariness flooding him.

Shepard opens his mouth, closes it again, then mutters, “Fuck it,” and closes the distance between them so fast Kaidan doesn’t register what’s happening until Shepard takes his chin in his fingers and kisses him right on the mouth.

It’s rough. Awkward, even. But it’s Shepard, kissing him like he’s going all in with every chip on the table even though he has a losing hand. His stubble catches against Kaidan’s, his lips are chapped, and he’s so tense he might snap.

Kaidan sucks in a surprised breath when Shepard lets him go, fingers still on his chin, mere inches of space between them. Shepard’s eyes are wide, like Kaidan’s not the only one trying to figure out what just happened.

“Told you,” Shepard murmurs, chest heaving like he just ran a sprint.

“Were you…” Kaidan tries to catch his breath. “Did you just kiss me to prove I’m a good kisser?”

“Yeah,” Shepard says, a panicked look coming across his face. “I think I did.”

He’s still right there. Kaidan lays a palm against Shepard’s chest, fingers curling into the fabric of his uniform.

“So, um. It was good,” Kaidan manages.

“Yeah,” Shepard breathes. “Thought it would be.”

“Kiss me again,” Kaidan whispers, trembling.

Shepard strokes his chin with his thumb, like he’s parsing each word and making sure they mean what he thinks they mean. Then he just nods, and leans in again.

Not rough, this time. This time it’s gentle. Slow. Soft. Filled with anticipation, maybe even hope. Kaidan wraps an arm around his neck, drawing him in until they’re flush against each other, Shepard’s biotic field like silk under his skin.

“Oh,” Shepard says when they part again. “I, uh. I think I’ve wanted to do that for a while now.”

Kaidan can’t speak. Even if he could think of what to say, it wouldn’t be the right thing. The only thing he can think of is kissing him again, so that’s what he does.

This time it’s messy, filled with want, and Shepard gives back every bit as good as Kaidan gives.

It’s really good. Good enough Kaidan winds up with his back against the bulkhead and Shepard fingers twined in his hair, a soft gasp against his lips.

When they come up for air, Shepard’s hand rests on Kaidan’s hip, and his eyes sweep Kaidan’s chest before lingering on his mouth again.

“I, uh.”

“We cannot tell anyone this happened after you saw me in a B-movie wearing reflective mylar.”

Shepard leans his forehead against Kaidan as laughter spills out. The hand on Kaidan’s hip circles his waist and traps him close.

As if Kaidan had plans to go anywhere.

“Yeah, you’re probably right. Should keep that to ourselves.” Shepard trails up and down Kaidan’s chest with his fingers, lip between his teeth in a way that makes stripping his shirt right there in the galley a very logical course of action.

A slow smile spreads across Kaidan’s face.

“Are you…imagining me in mylar right now?”

A fiery blush lights up Shepard’s cheeks. It’s beautiful. “No.”

“You’re lying,” Kaidan says, with mock indignation “Wow, not even five minutes after you kiss me for the first time and you’re already lying to me. Can feel my heart stopping already.”

Shepard snickers, burying his nose against Kaidan’s neck. “Do I get any credit for trying really hard not to be thinking of you in a mylar jumpsuit?”

“Definitely not.”

“Come on.”

Kaidan chuckles, brushing his knuckles against Shepard’s cheek. “All this time, and it turns out all I needed to do was show you the most mortifying moment from my past.”

“I really love B-movies, Kaidan,” Shepard protests.

Kaidan swallows the rest of his defense in another kiss.

“You’re really good at that,” Shepard says when they catch their breath again. “That woman is out of her mind. Really glad she didn’t shapeshift and stop your heart.”

Kaidan walks fingers up Shepard’s chest, doing his best attempt at seductive. “Can’t stop my heart if I’ve given it to someone else.”

Shepard stares at him. Now it’s Kaidan’s turn to blush.

“Shit, did I ruin it?”

“Nope,” Shepard says with a very adamant, almost embarrassed shake of his head. “Uh, quite the opposite. But we should probably continue this…not in the galley.” He takes Kaidan’s hand, their fingers lacing effortlessly together like it’s something they’ve done their entire lives.

“Heartstoppers from Beyond the Veil,” Shepard mutters as they head hand-in-hand towards his cabin. “Can’t even believe it. What do you even think happened to your character, anyway?”

Kaidan eyes the door to Shepard’s cabin as it slides open and takes a deep breath. “I’ve got a few ideas. Want to find out?”  

“Yeah,” Shepard says, breathless. “I do.”

The door swishes shut.

…and then they fucked.

[ceiling-karasu]

World-Building for My Squirrel and Hedgehog AUs: Flower Hill Area Specific

I could not find the motivation to write for The Rod That Blocks the Lightning this week, so I made these instead. Splitting it into three posts, because they are pretty large and a lot of information. I also cannot draw well, so I have

So, I think I have finally figured out how my AUs work a bit in context of the Squirrel and Hedgehog universe, or at least what I will use. This is subject to be changed as time goes on, but none of this should spoil anything I have written so far, or what I will write in the future.

Shout out to @sah-headcanons for listening to me ramble nonsensically about ideas for AUs for the past 3-4 years, and offering encouragement the whole time as I had revelations to actually write it out! Might have taken an offhand comment or two they made and turned them into entire massive plot ideas.

For one, the continents appear to be about the same as in the real world. I am assuming the flag colors represent the dominant culture or country in the region.

It is likely that Asia is more in the middle, but is blocked on the screen here. Some real life world maps have their own country in the middle to make it easier. It is safe to say that North and South Korea would be in the same shape and place.

As such, I think I can say that some of the same concepts will appear throughout all of my AUs. It does not necessarily mean they are taking place in the same timeline/AU, just that the areas, countries, and concepts are the same.

History of the area Around Flower Hill:

As with regular Korea, it used to be run by emperors, and had a strict caste system split up by species. Strong predators such as tigers were at the top, while weaker animals were towards the bottom. Most creatures lived in villages located according to their species or biological (food, sleep, hibernation) needs, and did not mingle with each other.

Within each caste, there were hierarchies depending on how useful the attributes of the family bloodline were. For instance, sheep that grew wool rapidly that could be used as clothing, as with domesticated sheep, were higher ranking than sheep who did not have fast growing wool, or wool that simply blew off (wild sheep). This would help explain the appearance of domestic sheep, pigs, and Korean Village dogs in the absence of humans. Plus why accusing individuals of being a lapdog or running dog is apparently a thing in universe.

Likewise, animals within a caste with a bloodline that allowed them to see colors better than others were also higher ranking, such as wolves seeing the color green, since they cannot in real life, and seeing green made them more effective in their tasks.

Eventually, the royal families were overthrown, as was the caste system some time later. Newfound trade allowed different species to move between areas and better survive, leading to populations forming alliances with each other based on what they needed and for protection, as well as larger villages and some cities.

However, even generations later, echos of the caste system still remain. Weasels and tigers still see themselves as being superior over mice, squirrels, rabbits, and other, smaller creatures, for instance. Inter caste system issues still occur, such as canines that have trouble seeing the color green seen as lesser than canines who can see green.

Descendants of the old royal families still exist, and while some are content with their lives, others seethe over the lost power their ancestors used to hold. Some wish to hold the values of their royal ancestors, whilst living within their means. These descendants can usually be identified by the possession of a royal or high ranking family munjang, which is useless to many, but still gives the wielder much respect.

I also have the headcanon (and we came up with these ideas separately) that Mulamgcho's family are descendants of royalty. Although it does not seem as if he wishes to reinstall an empire himself, as much as live comfortably and in power somewhere with his surviving family member(s).

Food and dietary habits are close to that of real world animals. Animals that eat meat subsist on seafood (non-sentient in this universe), small non-sentient birds, and insects. Cannibalism, even of the enemy, is seen as unclean and taboo, so bodies are disposed of as quickly as possible and thoroughly as possible to prevent temptation. Crematoriums are a booming business, although the wealthy may get personalized electrified coffins to dispose of their bodies in a more individual manner, if funerals are available, as seen when General Commander Jogjebi faked his death.

The split between South and North

I hold the idea that weasels and other obligate carnivores live in villages around the ocean and large lakes in the South. There, they are able to create fish farms for food. The south of the continent is great for fish farms, as long as they are properly managed, although agriculture is possible. Other inhabitants live towards the middle of the country, or labor for the weasels.

The North of the country is better for agriculture, and proper management has made it very profitable. Fish farming is possible, but given the coast would require considerable more effort. Smaller species, and those who were not obligate carnivores, also migrated up north to avoid the amassing weasels taking over the power vacuum from the royals. Silkworms also thrive in the Northern climate.

Weasel Empires:

Location and Geography: South Korean area. The weasels mostly live in villages around the coastline in small fishing kingdoms. Smaller weasel villages might live inland around larger lakes. Non weasel species, such as mice, also live inland in impoverished villages. But the villages are subject to being raided, with inhabitants being forcibly conscripted into the service of the weasels, when not taxed heavily.

Government: A central government dictatorship, but since the territories are scattered, the strongest weasel in the area leads.

Economy: most of the economy comes from fishing. There may be small areas of agriculture for species that work for the weasels. Wheat and rice farms exist for the purpose of making soju for export in some areas. Weasels levy large taxes against all non weasel villages, leading to very poor villages that struggle to survive and trade amongst themselves. Agriculture is looked down upon, so while farming could be viable, it is seen as for servants and lesser species.

Demographics: Mostly weasels and mice, some crows, anyone else they can force to join to their side.

Foreign relations and relations involving Flower Hill: The weasel policy is to fish farm in an area until there are not enough fish to sustain the current population. Then, they will create a new territories up or down the coast. However, severe mismanagement has led to a depletion in fish across the weasel villages throughout the nation. Flower Hill has coastlines, and therefore, fish. Which means more power and food to whoever takes over the area, which is also very rich in other resources. Also, forced labor for the fish farms, so they can rule over the area while they themselves relax. Many upstart weasels are promised fame and power if they occupy a region of Flower Hill, and the temptation of new servants to rule over. The mice are mostly just desperate to take over Flower Hill for the food, and to force the residents to work for them so they can taste a bit of power for once. Propaganda posters also promise mice and crows higher pay and higher ranks for joining the army, and the idea that they can treat the residents of conquered regions as their own servants.

Political Alliances: Wolf Unit and tiger kingdoms, and what would be the equivalent of Japan, in universe, that I have not gotten around to yet as I highly doubt they will play a part.

Traditional Clothing style (other than military gear): Much taken from the Japan equivalent, clothing is a Kimono covered by a Haori, although these are usually worn more by high class individuals.

Regular shirts and trousers are worn by lower and working classes. Villagers more towards the inner part of the country wear simple, traditional Hanbok.

Other: The idea of the weasels needing to stay on the coast works with a certain concept with the Kidnapped Scientists AU. It would be an interesting idea to have the scientists eventually work with the weasels by helping them conquer inland areas around Flower Hill, knowingly forcing the weasels to waste resources trying to get extra fish to the area before it goes bad, as well as having the army be stretched thin.

While the Weasel Country is allied with the equivalent of Japan, the country is not interested in helping the weasels take over another country due to pressure from the international community, and the fact that they see countries as too small for them to want to get involved.

Flower Hill:

Location and Geography: North Korea, although I assume the rabbit villages are China. Varies between coastal, woodlands, plains, lakes, rivers, and mountainous areas

Government: Stratocracy, where the government is headed by military chiefs. Villages may have their own chiefs, but they answer to the military in the end. Strangely, more and more village chiefs are becoming military chiefs...

Flower Hill also encourages education and sending intelligent individuals for prestigious universities to hopefully bring back new ideas and information that could help the economy and the government, although it is noticeable that almost everyone that goes seems to have an affiliation to the military as well...

Economy: For the most part, Flower Hill is an agricultural nation, with plenty of food to sustain the population. Fishing is also popular, and many countries like the local goby fish. Science and research allows for many discoveries and patents to be made in Flower Hill.

Honestly, I saw sah-headcanon's post asking about what carnivores eat, and wound up seeing if insects were a food eaten in Korea. What I found was that Beondegi (silkworm pupa) is a well known food in Korea, sold as street food and in convenience stores. Which has led to me deciding that Flower Hill has a massive silk and silkworm industry that takes up the bulk of the exports. Good for lots of food, and also for fancy clothing for themselves and other countries, which bolsters foreign relations.

They will import what they need from other countries.

Demographics: squirrels, hedgehogs, ducks, monkeys, pigs, sheep, deer, geese, bears. Originally, each species had their own specific jobs, such as squirrels being farmers, hedgehogs being military, ducks being the navy, monkeys being entertainers, and so on. But that was abolished a few generations ago, and the hedgehogs encourage other species to join in the military or try other careers.

Foreign relations: Flower Hill prefers to keep peaceful relations with other countries. Even though they are being invaded by the Weasel Unit, they will still invite weasel leaders to diplomatic events and festivals. However, dark secrets are hidden deep from the international eyes. Many countries enjoy the high quality silk that comes from the area.

Political Alliances: Jindo Dog Island, Chaand Hadia, Chambelli Koh

Traditional Clothing Style (not including military uniforms): Flower Hill citizens would wear intricately patterned chosŏn-ot, bolstered by their massive silkworm pupae industry. Otherwise, shirts and trousers for when they are working.

Other Countries/continents outside of the local area:

Tiger Empires: believe that they are of royal blood, and at the top of the old caste system, and will occasionally create small empires. Their disregard for other species usually results in their collapse. Tigers tend to be the main villains for many Korean cartoons, so it is an interesting concept.

White-Naped Crane Party:

Used to be the upper class clergy and preachers meant to keep the lower castes under control. Most of this group fully supports the return to the emperors and caste system. White-Naped Cranes in real life primarily live in the demilitarized zone of North Korea, but they do migrate to other areas before returning. Therefore, it is only natural to have them appear at some point.

Their migrations have them bring back strange, new ideas of subservience to emperors, and they cause each disruptions that Flower Hill considers revoking their traditional permits to come and go as they please. They also tend to be found within the territories of Tiger Empires.

Other Countries:

I don't think other countries outside of the immediate area will feature too much. For them, It's too much effort to get involved in that type of conflict for a country that is not a big superpower. I do hold that the Geneva Convention and international courts exist, but not because of World War reasons. Due to species restrictions, events like World Wars are not possible, but rules of warfare are, for decencies sake.

Travel and trade is still allowed into the area, and both the weasels and Flower Hill avoid angering citizens from other countries due to diplomatic reasons, which can lead into reporters poking their noses in there they don't belong...

Outside of Flower Hill, in more industrious countries, there are larger cities. Universities exist, and some are very prestigious. But, due to the lack of travel ability and certain species restrictions (climate and such), long distance and online classes are available and seen as valid.

[nobodysdaydreams]

Sticky and/or Marlon for the ask game? :D

Thank you Milk! Marlon is a bold choice given my well known hatred for him. So let’s give the man some loser headcanons.

But first, our boy Sticky. 💕

Headcanon A:  realistic

He had OCD. Yes, his anxiety is canon and this is kind of an extension of that, and yeah, I’m shamelessly copying off @sophieswundergarten because her fic about it is one of the most amazing things you’ll ever read. But what about it? It’s true, it’s canon, it happened.

Headcanon B: while it may not be realistic it is hilarious

He’s a great singer. But because of his anxiety, he’d never admit to it and hates singing in public (this is the exact opposite of Kate who I headcanon as a bad singer who doesn’t care who hears her).

Headcanon C: heart-crushing and awful, but fun to inflict on friends

Watching Constance fall under Curtain’s happiness reminds Sticky of how he acted under the Whisperer’s influence and makes him feel even more guilty for having given into it (when Constance couldn’t control what happened to her). Even long after it’s over, Sticky has a hard time forgiving himself for falling under Curtain’s influence, even though it’s easy for him to forgive others for the same thing.

Headcanon D: unrealistic, but I will disregard canon about it because I reject canon reality and substitute my own.

He had an emotional reunion and reconciliation with his aunt that was just as emotional as his reunion with his parents in the books. The other three kids in the show all get their moments with their families and Sticky gets an off screen conversation? Unacceptable. I know it’s just because the show can only have so many additional adult actors in the main cast, but it’s so beautiful in the books, my boy was short changed! But not anymore. He had an emotional and fulfilling conversation with his aunt and uncle. It’s in SOS, and it’s canon to me, because Sticky deserved better than “oh yeah I talked to my aunt”.

And now the loser himself: Marlon. I mean what to even say. Jeffers is a loser too, but at least he’s funny. Let’s see what we got.

Headcanon A:  realistic

He’s the only neurotypical character in the entire TMBS universe. I don’t need to explain this. Look at everyone else, even the other villains, and then look at this man. Tell me you don’t see it. To be clear: I don’t mean this as an insult, I have neurotypical friends and family. But look at the way he talks to Jackson and Jillson. He’s that kind of neurotypical. He has “I wish I peaked in High School vibes”.

Headcanon B: while it may not be realistic it is hilarious

Working for Curtain is the only job he’s never been fired from. He was frozen, but never officially fired. But at all his other jobs, Marlon was so difficult to work with, that he was eventually fired from all of them. This headcanon is unrealistic, because I don’t think anyone would actually hire him or want him to do anything.

Headcanon C: heart-crushing and awful, but fun to inflict on friends

This is a rather dark and heart-crushing head canon but… the Happiness doesn’t kill him. He survives like the others thanks the to the “real happiness thing”. He gets the opportunity to condescend someone and that wakes him up. It’s a kids show, they wouldn’t murder anyone on screen, and I don’t want to deal with the complications of writing his death and having Curtain go to trial for it, so he survives and disappears into the void.

Headcanon D: unrealistic, but I will disregard canon about it because I reject canon reality and substitute my own.

After the happiness revolution, Marlon tried to write a tell all book about what Curtain was doing called “Life behind the Curtain: the untold story of Dr. Curtain’s right hand man”. It sells zero copies, and Marlon has to file for bankruptcy.

[saltygilmores]

Thoughts While Watching Gilmore Girls- Season 1, Episode 21 (Love, Daisies, and Troubadors) Part THREE.

Please check out my pinned post for the rest of season 1 as well as part 1 & 2 of this season finale. We resume our regularly scheduled program, which is Buttzilla Forrester in the middle of a jealous rage, trying to manipulate RoryGil (who isn't even his girlfriend anymore, by the way).

I HATE IT when Rory apologizes to Dean like this and she's done literally nothing wrong! It's so sad. My feelings about later seasons Rory are...a mixed bag to say the least, but I will defend Season 1 Rory with all my might.

Gaslighting: to manipulate (someone) by psychological means into questioning their own sanity. Buttzilla: Your boyfriend's waiting. RoryGil: He's not my boyfriend, I hate him! Buttzilla: Whatever. Biggest fictional piece of shit on the planet. Literal dogshit stuck to the bottom of your shoe. RG: Dean, stop! Buttzilla: Why. RG, Pained and Unconvincing: Cause I love you, you idiot. You know there are literal people that find this exchange romantic? Not many,as The Dean Forrester fandom is small and they seem to know their place and not emerge from the shadows. But they exist. Uh oh. I hear corny music... it's happening...

Alexis is frozen solid. She is not moving. Her mouth isn't moving. Her hands are not moving. Her spine is stiff. I don't even need to post pics or gifs of her kissing Milo to compare the two, we've all seen them.

Easy there, JarPad! Release that poor girl from your kung-fu grip! Screen shots don't illustrate the frantic speed in which he is mashing his mouth against hers either. Oh no, now we're getting into the closeups. I'm so sorry for doing this. I hope you can forgive me.

She's a woman, not a lemon! Jesus christ! The vein in his neck is throbbing.

If you would like me to further ruin your Thanksgiving, imagine this following disturbing but absolutely true scenario: Rory and Dean sleep together. Dean refuses to go down on her, fucks her for 15 seconds, finishes and has this same stupid smile on his face, all "was it good for you baby?" and Rory's like "Sure, you did great, tiger." and he believes it. Also Lindsay. Poor Lindsay. #JusticeForLindsay Ugh. I survived. We all survived. Ya'll okay? Diet Logan witnesses this and puts down Rory's books, probably traumatized into being a better person, because I know I was close to promising I'd find Jesus if only that kiss would mercifully end. We cut to the Indepdence Inn and Michel and Kirk arguing because Max took Lorelai's "1,000 yellow daisies" suggestion very, very literally and the Inn is now filled with fucking flowers. Kirk Job: Flower delivery man. Lorelai stands there in stark silence admiring the daisies while Michel calls daisies "Pitiful little things, a notch up from weeds", which is also what I think of Dean Forrester. This relationship is going to LAST....! ...For about another four episodes. Max: I didn't propose to you because we were fighting. I proposed because I love you. Lorelai:

"Help. Me." MM: We're in a bad pattern Lorelai, and we have to break it. That's why you proposed to end an argument, got rejected, didn't have any discussion about it whatsoever like grown ups, pretended it didn't happen, took an off the cuff suggestion she gave you way too literally, then waited exactly one more day to propose a second time. Goes into a blathering Mediocre English Teacher Speech about how books just can't compare to real life blah blah blah. Look, in my occasional headcanon where Jess Mariano grows up to become an English teacher he would never be this fucking pretentious. Lorelai: "God you talk so good." To be fair, he doesn't exactly propose to her over the phone, he's all "think it over" but this thing with the daisies feels really manipulative. How the hell is she gonna say no now? Lorelai bursts into Luke's Diner. Luke: Ahhh, you made me spill. He said the same thing while he was fixing her porch rail.

Cute.

"I just got manipulated back into a shitty relationship wtih a shitty male!" "Me too Mom! Me too! This is so exciting!" Happy Thanksgiving!

[afterthegreatunknown]

So, I’m going to preface this that this is no way me being negative about Netflix ASOUE. I truly like and enjoy with what Netflix ASOUE did. However, looking at the completed show with what is with hindsight, I’m looking at it with minor negativity, for their choices has me going, “You really did this, huh?”

Now, Larry in the books is a minor character who appears in TWW. He’s a real minor bit character. TUA, which does give him substance, is small. Larry is on all accounts, what I call “OC Stand In”. And I say this affectionately, because the substance given for Larry in TUA gives different possibilities (my Larry interpretation is a tired man who’s always on the verge of quitting his job, and would like to have friends. Not associates, friends.). And “OC Stand In” also applies to Mr. and Mrs. Quagmire, which Netflix did a splendid job at, but this post isn’t about them.

Anyway, back to Larry. He’s a character who after hours of digging into old fandom spaces, I think is a character who isn’t thought of much pre-Netflix days because of how small a role he has. And come Netflix ASOUE, Larry gets a bigger and more substance. It’s so much more than what he got in TUA. Larry gets a true characterization and popularity boost to where if you think of Larry, you’ll think of Netflix!Larry by default.

Hector is a [minor] supporting character in the books. Appearing only once in TVV, he’s mentioned several times later, for he has the Quagmires (Duncan and Isadora) safe on his hot air mobile home, with his fate being mention in The End with other supporting characters (Fernald and Fiona, Captain Widdershins, Quigley). Hector also gets a mention in TUA by Jacques. It’s TUA that reveals Hector’s connection to VFD, and his cameo in ATWQ Book one double downs on it as being a canon connection.

Digging into old fandom spaces pre-Netflix days, Hector is thought of as any other [minor] supporting characters in a series. So, you think Netflix ASOUE would take this all into consideration for S2. Hell, I sure thought so! I thought Netflix would pull something similar with Mother and Father; show Duncan and Isadora with Hector every so often, with the two slowly making the connection Hector knew their parents and was part of VFD.

But instead, Netflix ASOUE takes away Hector’s past of a (former) volunteer, and demoted him to a regular handyman. Book!Hector’s past is informally cut and past for Netflix!Larry, for Larry mentions his connections to the Village of Fowl Devotees via his mother, with the implication he once lived there a la Book!Hector living there with his parents.

Hal, very much like Larry, never gets much thought of by the fandom pre-Netflix days. Hal is very much a [minor] supporting character, first appearing in THH and reappearing in TPP as a new VFD agent, having rebuilt his life and now seeing the Baudelaires as what they truly are, innocent, and he wants to help them. And let me say that when I first read TPP, I literally gasped when I saw Hal again. I thought he died in THH off-screen, which I thought suck because I like him the most of all the unofficial guardians.

But despite his reappearance, he’s usually forgotten and isn’t talk much, as mention before. This isn’t help by his unknown fate in the Hotel Denouement Fire (and sidenote: I headcanon him surviving it. If he somehow survived the hospital fire, he can survive a hotel fire). Comes Netflix ASOUE, and nothing much change for him in the THH episodes.

Except deciding to give Hal one of the worse endings for a character. To me at least. He’s confirm alive, but he’s mourning the lost of the Library of Records, thinking the Baudelaires as criminals, and unable to rebuild his life. And Hal never is seen again, for in TPP, Larry takes his role as waiter before entering his curry death.

The changes Netflix ASOUE did to Hector and Hal make sense from a narrative standpoint, as well as from an adaptation stance. With Larry being an establish [minor] supporting character in S1, it makes sense for Netflix ASOUE to keep this up, and that I assume, resulted in Netflix!Larry gaining traits and roles of other characters to avoid the problem of too many fire-fighting VFD members (with Kit being the last proper one; Widdershins is something else entirely).

But here’s the thing.

Netflix cast Hector as Hispanic/Latino and Hal as Black. Netflix cast Larry as White. While I’m at it, the new supporting characters introduce in S2 (S3 in one character’s case) were also cast with white actors: Jacques, Olivia, and Kit. Netflix also brought back Jacquelyn, a character who is and also isn’t R, the Duchess of Winnipeg due to S3, is also cast with a white actress.

Netflix in S2 showed the important supporting fire-fighting VFD members as white. That’s different when compare to S1, for S1 did a good job focusing and fleshing out Monty and Josephin, who were made people of color in the show. Josephine in particular got development her book and movie counterpart lacked before her untimely death.

I know that S2 and S3′s scripts were (very likely) written before any casting was done. All the changes made were done in a way that wouldn’t matter who got cast for the role. But looking at Netflix ASOUE as a completed show with hindsight, there’s a reason why I’m looking at them and going, “You really did this, huh?”

It’s something that Hector and Hal (and Miranda, who I left out as getting demoted mainly because of The End time constraints is the factor here), now being characters of color in the show, would no longer keep their importance of being in VFD. This goes especially for Hector, who volunteer’s status is reveal in a canonical supplementary material and a different Snicket book/series, things Netflix ASOUE clearly had as a source given mentions to them.

It’s something because compare to S1, Netflix thought for S2, in their continuous focus/exploration of VFD, made the decision to make the major supporting volunteers be white. It isn’t too bad for Olivia, Jacques and Kit, for their importance is shown as it should be (with execution being a bit different for Jacques and Kit. Olivia’s case help factored into Miranda’s demotion, though again, that is fault of The End time constraints). It’s a bit confusing for Jacquelyn, because she is and also isn’t R, the Duchess of Winnipeg.

Larry though? Larry, a minor bit character in the original source material, who got a bigger role to where his show counterpart overshadows his book counterpart in the fandom?

Larry throughout season two has me thinking how much wasted potential Netflix Asoue could had given Hector and Hal, characters who could have gotten a similar treatment to Monty and Josephine (and maybe more), but didn’t/couldn’t because anything Hector and Hal had was transfer over to Larry, because of his ascended role in season one.

[pink-strawberry-kissess]

So we know in 4 (the original at least) that Leon somewhat kept tabs on Ada, at least to the point of knowing a few basic yet major things. Now even though its not really stated (not that I can remember) that Ada kept tabs on him but Im certain she did. How do you think she felt, seeing how the government basically forced him to sign on and then the fact that he basically doesn't have a life outside his job? In 2 (and 2R), Ada "died" not only so that she could finally finish her assignment, but also so that she wouldn't drag Leon into her world. And now? To see he's been dragged in anyways? That's gotta hurt; seeing he didn't get to have a normal life.

you asked this twice but i think they were both the same so i just deleted the other one. if they were different WHOOPS

yeah in og4 leon found out like off screen that ada survived re2. (also omfg new fans that are like OH MY GOD ADA'S ALIVE????) i'm so sorry this game came out in 2005 okay

i think ada kept some sort of tabs on him. if you play separate ways, ada talks very highly of leon. so much so it's just ada simping for leon campaign. like "he's stronger and more skilled now" like okay ada we know hunnyyy

i always headcanon that ada is very anti government. so she would not like how government treated leon.

someone mentioned that all ada asked for leon was "to take care of himself,"

and he couldn't do that :')

i think the take care of yourself leon was also just to stay out of the whole thing. she knew from the beginning that he was a good person that just wanted to do the good thing. i think he rubbed off on her a lot and it changes her a bit even in re2r. she doesn't want to hurt him, she just wants him to leave.

[amouramuro]

Bored and in the middle of procrastinating, then i got a silly idea to make a (not so) tierlist of a3 x hsr combo like what would a3 boys' path would be. Also to make this blog looks more alive xoxo

There are two types here. Left is their path as playable characters (aka ur standard dps/support/survival units), right is their path as in mindset/philosophy/religion/you name it.

Ofc this is all headcanons of mine and what i personally think about them. Gotta admit im getting rusty with their characterizations since ive been in a very long a3 dormancy... Im most confident with my assesment towards fuyu, then haru, aki close second to haru, and im least confident with natsu (sorry natsu peeps). And surely there are very stereotypical takes i put here

Elaborations or thoughts-behind-the-screen under this

First off, the game mechanic path:

I think i based this one on a mixed consideration of physical prowess + tendency when doing something, like manifestation of thoughts, or so they say

Destruction trio, ofc we all know their physical strength. Guy is like default dps in my head and i feel like his mechanic can be somewhat blade-like (im projecting two of my faves here, if im not obvious enough). Misumi reminds me of yunli with her parry kits, idk it just seems so misumi. Juza can be any destruction unit available in game rn, like hes canonically the most feared delinquent in that area around ouka and even the neighbouring districts.

Erudition trio, the aoe dmg dealer. First off homare because this absolute theater kid with extravagant flair and movements proven in anime and stage will just make me scream erudition. You cant tell me he isnt hitting all 5 mobs in one go with his kit. He reminds me of argenti so much. Sakyo deals with the five aki brats on daily basis so you know the gist. Also his kit being able to do aoe is in line with his efficiency-centered ass. Tenma is very loud /pos, and such a center of the show being an established actor himself, i feel like erudition unit fits him because he can deal with many people at the same time (im blabbering here, forgive me tenma stans)

Hunt quartet here, i feel like they dont need much explanation. Chikage hisoka masumi and banri seems very befitting as one-target dps/nukes, focusing on one hard hitting move per turn, good with enemies who dont do summons. Their physical prowess is made for that, me thinks

Abundance trio, well what more can i say. I mean i know omi is in akigumi but i feel like hes so gallagher coded dont u think. A buff guy can be healed guys wink wink. Hes quite a pacifist guy in the roster and the fact that he cooks, simply healer. Sakuya my brightest sun my lovely son, it is just canonical that he has healing aura to everyone and everywhere. Same goes with muku!

Nihility quartet or dare i say line up of my favorite people /j. But like ofc, these people may not be the hardest hitting unit in the game but they provide debuffs and dots to the enemy. Very befitting of how these people, azuma tsumugi yuki and citron, behave in the stories. I would split tsumugi yuki as pure debuffer (dmg taken, def shred, etc you name it) unit, while azuma citron as dots sub dps (small initial hits, but they will k you over the time)

Harmony quartet, there are various reasons. Wan wan combi seems befitting with the roles of buffing and cheering their team up. Azami sure buffs too but with less cheers than the wan wan combi lol. And itaru would love to just provide buffs without needing to hit that much. He just loves to put workload to others if he could, doesnt he

Preservation trio, aka people with so much patience and resilience (i made it up). I know tasuku feels like that big bad buff guy who can hit you hard, but like personally hes a pacifist guy yknow. He can hit if he wants to but problem is ge doesnt want to. Thus i think this gym bros physical potential then can be utilized as shield more, like this guy got high def to shield his teammates. Hes just like gepard if u think about it... Anyways kumon also has good physical prowess being a baseballer himself. Im very ignorant when it comes to baseball and its terms, but well i feel like since he has a high mental and physical resilience as well he fits being a shielder. Tsuzuru, boy, he has 9 siblings. I think thats enough reason.

Onto the path as their base philosophy/religion/mindset/whatever terms throw it here:

This one is based on, as ive stated, mindset or philosophy that bases their action. Their idealism, of sort. Or aspects of themselves that may not be always visible/present. This one is harder istg this is like forcing me to do a character study. Anyways.

Erudition banri and guy. I feel like its just befitting of them. They may not be voluntarily choosing to follow Nous, like probably the intelligentsia guild. Theyre probably more like people who got the gaze of Nous instead. Since banri literally excels in everything he does, i go with the interpretation that he might be able to gain Nous' gaze, if this aspect of him is elevated inside the hsr universe. Guy is canonically smart as well and his early element being "of an android" reminds me of screwllum, if hes not a robot and just someone who thinks he is when he isnt. Like doing complicated mental math? Thats sexy and brainy and amazing and sexy and- gets dragged off the stage

Preservation duo... Also fits their game mechanic path... Well i guess. I mean again, their mental endurance seems befitting of a qlipoth followers. It doesnt have to be so devoted like they could be like regular belobogians. Obvs not ipc like fuck that imperialist institution okay /hj

These two father-son hunt duo, also befitting of their game mechanic. Obvs im taking the pattern of chikage's organization and revenge for august. Meanwhile masumi is a bit of a reach here since he couldve been an atheist/not following certain path. But im using the lone wolf interpretation of their characters that just wanders around the galaxy to help those in need and to uphold justice whenever they could

Now talk about nihility "follower", well as you guys already know, there is no such thing as IX's followers since the concept of nihility itself doesnt allow for such possibilities. But then again IX's gaze befalls anyone anywhere no matter how much they want to avoid it. I think of them three as doctor of chaos instead, those who have seen the despair, the nothingness, the futility—yet they want to prove there is still meaning behind it all, in everything IX deems meaningless. Tasutsumu and their fallout and their view on things they valued (godza and acting). Meanwhile juza have a lot of nihilist view about himself as well, but still want to change or be able to do better despite whats given in him

Yet another congruence of philosophy and mechanic, omi and muku is just abundance. As we all know the antagonization of abundance/yaoshi is just a xianzhounian propaganda led by lan guys /j. Ofc as we all know too aeon and their path merely represent a basic concept that is neither wrong or right, good or bad, just or unjust. I just think that omi and muku have that gentleness, altruism, benevolent nature. Not to say this in the naivety kind of way, but well the gentleness persist despite that many violence and turbulence that happened

Harmony guys yeahhh. Ofc the artists, the performers, those who wants to unite people with their art. Saur penaconian. They simply loves the harmony of the diversity, of many different colors

Now sakyo is the sunday of the previous trio /j. But idk i mean he could be a pathless type of person. Hes still a very orderly person and maybe despite not being so devout, he follows the path of ena like secularly. Meh, hes very much into order in canon as well we can see

Elation duo aha. Well, misumi is just a force of nature untamable and he is simply seeking joy (read: triangles) in everything he sees. Meanwhile itaru sure loves joy of playing video games amirite itaru. His laziness truly can land him in nihility but that would be too depressing. Again, they are truly the joy seeker

Trailblazer duo yeaahh. To seek of the unknown, to trail a path never been discovered before, to broaden the horizon. Seems so very sakuya and citron. Their trailblazing spirit is just so strong

Enigmata duo of the two most mysterious people in mankai company /j. I mean they both can be a follower of remembrance as well, since the motives of past and memories are very strongly present in their characterization and stories. Since enigmata and THEIR followers, by lore, are treated akin to Nanook and Anti Matter Legion, so like defo antagonist. So if we want a more friendly approach, memokeeper hisoka and azuma sounds befitting as well.

Last but not least, idrillas follower. Have i told you that argenti reminds me a lot of homare (or vice versa). Yeah. Like ofc homare the appreciator of beauty in the universe, the ever so gentlemanly knight, his name literally means honor yall. Homare is just knight of beauty coded. Meanwhile yuki and azami, well very stereotypical but hey they do appreciate beauty in every forms. They may not be part of knights of beauty and idrilla is long gone/disappeared, but their faith in beauty can persist

Alright i guess thats all i currently remember about these categorization. Ofc again this is just my headcanon and interpretation of the characters and lores in both games. I had fun (and suffer a bit) in making these crossover of my favorite medias. I just need to dump my thought somewhere, and my twt acc is not looking good haha. So here i am.

[obeymehasinfluncedmythoughts]

How the Brothers Feel When You're Away

This is a self-aware headcanon, inspired by the many self-aware au's out there. Recently haven't been on a lot and thought it'd be fun to write something short on how the boys have been feeling about it. This is Polyam!MC still!

Also I'm sorry if I haven't responded to everyone's well wishes. I'm like incredibly stressed lmao. That's why this is a 2 parter. Easier to swallow while I feel so incredibly helpless lol.

Also also, do you guys like MC or Y/n better? I haven't figured out which one to use all the time. And I may be a little rusty but I'm trying. Idk if I'll make a part two to this though because I'm not sure if I like it 😭

♡

Lucifer

Not going to make a fuss after one day.

That behavior is below him

But after three day... he's probably a little angry.

He doesn't like being ignored. He especially doesn't like being able to do anything about it.

Pride has made him sort of entitled. He expects things he wants to just happen to him because of who he is. So where are you?

If he has the ability to send notifications to your phone, he's going to do it.

His intentions are to get your attention, but he's also a little petty and doesn't mind annoying you.

(^^Older brother syndrome mixed with dealing with Mammon for so long has resulted in this mess of a bastard)

After four days is when he starts to worry.

He'd be the type to keep track of your activity. Maybe not to the extent of Satan, but he at least knows when you're on most.

If he's on your homescreen you best believe he's eagerly awaiting your return, hoping that everytime he blinks, you'll be on the other side.

Once you're back though, he's the first to act like nothing happened.

He knows he can't really do anything to tell you how he feels, so he'll do what he can and just be happy you're back.

Might try to increase your rewards as some sort of bribery.

(It works on his brothers. 🤷🏻‍♀️)

♡

Mammon

He is going to assume the worst if you don't log in for two days.

Will immediatly communicate his concerns to his brothers. Some of these worries are reasonable, but most aren't, which is why he receives varying replies of worry from the cast.

Definitely knocks on the screen like that will grab your attention.

He's going to be the one that sends you tons of messages at once so you get notifications for each new chat.

Lucifer makes him stop after a few days.

He's so lonely without you MC, please come back.

Definitely going to be on best behavior upon your return.

Even if the game does make him bratty and dictate his every word, he's going to work his ass off to show his appreciation for your presence.

♡

Leviathan

Whilst he's usually anxious during thus little break, he can survive.

He's a shut-in too you know! He understands needing to switch up your games every once in a while.

Levi's just a little hurt you're taking a break from their game.

He really does miss you though. That's why he's often there to greet you upon your way back.

Take all the time you need MC. Levi will be waiting for you.

♡

Satan

Take all the time you need? Take all the time you need? NO.

He's panicking.

Satan knows your schedule very well. If you play the game everyday and then just stop, he's going to be worried.

You know that little reaction you get sometimes?

The "See you in a 1,000 years, no, make it 10,000" or whatever he says?

Basically what you have to deal with when you come back.

Extra pissy.

[sunatoru]

cherry popper.

⇒ suna x f!reader

summary : three months after the heart breaking murders within the hyogo prefecture, suna comes to realise he really was his best friend’s hero.

warnings : mentions of virginity / loss of virginity, mentions of oral (m. receiving), murder + death, lowkey a breakdown at one point

genre : angst , mentions fuck to survive type trope, best friends to lovers

a/n : this is just a short part two to clear up any loose ends about v.k. you can headcanon him as suna if you want, but this is kinda who i imagined v.k would be!

w.c : 2.5k

m.list part 1 : pop! goes the cherry.

“atsumu, usually your ideas are bad but this? this is the worst idea you’ve ever had.” osamu has his hands on his hips, eyes glaring down at his twin and his best friend who continue to mimic the cursive lettering broadcasted on screen.

“shut it samu, you’re just jealous i came up with it first.” atsumu’s gaze never leaves the inked paper, watching with excitement as suna finishes writing the last few letters down. his knees bouncing with excitement while his friend's knee bounces from the built up anxiety.

after finishing the note, suna pulls himself back, taking in the words from afar. his lip is pulled between his teeth, pen clenched in one hand while the other grips the table tightly. this is such a bad idea…

“tsum… maybe samu’s right. i don’t think this is a good idea, i don’t want it to seem like i’m forcing her to do anything.”

“pfft, you’re not forcing her. giving someone a little scare to encourage them to confess isn’t forceful.”

suna and osamu shared a look, surely this wouldn’t be as problematic as their conscience is making it out to be. with a defeated sigh, suna slips the note into the envelope and gets up from the table, leaving the twins to bicker about atsumu’s latest and greatest plan. the walk to your locker is long and painstakingly tense, his fingers shaking from the guilt and nerves that have settled within him. he was definitely going to hell for this.

finally managing to get to your locker without throwing up or passing out, suna unlocks it, carefully placing the envelope down. he looks around, making sure no one was around to catch him in the act before gently shutting the locker, not checking to see whether it was fully closed or not. his only priority now was getting out of there before someone could spot him.

and as he ran off, all he could do was pray for forgiveness and hope this wouldn’t backfire.

—

“suna rintarou, i need you to have sex with me.” you slam the gym doors open, shocking the rest of the volleyball club members and surprising suna. his heart pounding in his chest at your loud and bold request, in front of his whole team nonetheless. he drops the ball he’s holding and rushes over to you.

“yn what are you talking about, why the fuck would you need me to have sex with you!?” you grab rintarō by the arm shaking him desperately as your lips begin to quiver. “he’s gonna kill me tarou, i swear he’s going to kill me.” suna felt his heart drop, the guilt of going through with the petty little plan finally began sinking in. the look fo terror written so plainly onto your face could never be erased from his mind. his mind was reeling, the letter wasn’t supposed to lead to this. you were supposed to tell him you loved him and he was supposed to confess to you that he wrote that note because he was too much of a coward to confess to you himself.

“holy shit…” atsumu comes in close, eyes trained on the note that the two of them spent at least half an hour on. “y know, if sunarin won’t fuck you id be down.” suna holds back a scoff, as if you’d want to lose your virginity to a loser like atsumu, who came up with the idea in the first place. suna grabs the note and crumpled it up.

“that-that won’t be necessary.” he wasn’t about to let you lose your virginity to someone like atsumu, under the pretence that you were about to be murdered by some weirdo with a hatred for people who didn’t have sex. suna grabs you and pulls you out of the gym after telling atsumu he’d walk you home, the burning inside him flaring up as he thought about how scared you were and the way you looked like you were contemplating atsumu’s proposition.

suna was never listening to any of atsumu’s ideas. ever again.

—

three months after receiving that threatening note and finally losing your virginity to your best friend, you wouldn’t have ever expected things to be so… boring? suna wouldn’t do so much as hold your hand on most days, and on a good day he’d let you kiss his cheek.

his lack of physical interest in you began taking its toll on you, were you not good enough? was he really only with you out of pity or maybe fear that the v.k was still going to come after you?

sitting with atsumu and osamu on one of the benches in the gym, the three of you watched suna intently as you explained your worries to the twins. “it just seems like he’s not into me… i mean, i tried giving him head last week and the minute i got down on my knees he was jumping up, saying he needed to pick his sister up from school. ON A SATURDAY.” you groaned into your hands, dragging them down your face to try and relieve some of the tension that’s been trapped inside of you for the past few months.

“ya can’t really blame sunarin though,” tsumu shrugged his shoulders, leaning back against the benches behind him. “i mean, if i wrote a note to my crush, pretending to be a serial killer just so that she would confess to me, i’d feel pretty guilty about doing things with her too.”

you froze in your seat, eyes still glued to suna, who had no clue as to what was going on in the stands. “he… what?” your mumble was almost inaudible, so quiet as you tried your hardest to process what atsumu just said.

osamu was the first to realise that you still had no clue about the plan. he smacked the back of atsumu’s head, mumbling ‘idiot’ under his breath before he excused himself. this wasn’t his plan nor his problem and he was not about to be caught in the crossfire because of his twin.

“what the fuck samu- where are ya going!?” osamu flipped his brother off as a response, hastily making his way down to the court before you could blown up on either of them. atsumu turned to look back at you, brows furrowed and his hand gently rubbing the spot osamu hit.

“can you believe that guy? what a dick- yn?” it was only then did atsumu realise you were silently crying, your eyes never leaving the court where your boyfriend was practicing. “oh no…” atsumu began panicking, suna was gonna kill him, and you were gonna kill suna. “yn, t-trust me he had good intentions! you know sunarin, our lovely rinnie! he’d never do anything intentionally harmful, plus it wasn’t totally his idea, i helped!”

“you helped?” your nose was stuffy, and your eyes were glistening as you finally turned away from eyeing suna, glaring coldly at the bleached haired idiot beside you. atsumu gulped, fighting back his nerves as he slowly stood up and walked backwards towards the stairs, hands up in surrender as he gave you a nervous smile.

“well, it’s not like i wrote the letter or put it in your locker or anything… i just, made a couple of suggestions. and if anything, it’s really suna’s fault for even going through with it!” atsumu ran down the stairs, tackling into samu and suna as you slowly made your way down behind him.

you stopped in front of the three of them, tear filled eyes trained on the floor, you couldn’t bring yourself to look up at your best friend. “i’m going home, don’t worry about walking me.”

suna took a step forward, hand reaching out to hold yours, but you could only step back and pull your hand away. his heart faltered, confused as to what had made you so upset that you wouldn’t even let him hold your hand.

“yn, what happened?”

“i don’t know, suna. what would you do if you found out your boyfriend wrote a fake threat just to get you to confess to him?” you finally looked up at him, angry tears flooding your waterline and slipping past the barrier. suna felt the air leave his lungs. you knew it was him, and he couldn’t escape the truth.

“how cruel and cowardly do you have to be t-to write a note, pretending to be a serial killer just so you wouldn’t have to confess? i thought i was going to die! and you just let me believe that!?” you shoved him, glaring at him as he stood in silence. “what? you have nothing to say now? is this why you’ve been so distant, and why you were so hesitant to help me that day? because you knew all along that i was fine, and that i wasn’t in danger.”

“yn, we should talk about this outside… the others are listening.” suna made a move to grab your hand again, but all you could do was slap it away and take another step back.

“fuck you, suna. you let me believe i was going to die. do you know how traumatising that is? to be so afraid of going to sleep at night because you don’t know if you’ll wake up the next day? you let me live through that, just because you were too much of a pussy to tell me you liked me!?”

you scoffed at his silence, pivoting on your heel and walking out the gym doors.

—

knock, knock, knock. “yn, rintarou’s here…”

you pulled the bed sheets over you and sink yourself into the pillow when you heard your mother turn the doorknob. you didn’t want to see him or speak to him, and you definitely didn’t want to be left alone in a room with him.

the door closed again, silence taking over the room's atmosphere as neither of you made a move to speak. part of you was convinced he never even walked into the room with how quiet it was, but with the sound of shuffling feet and the feeling of the bed dipping, you realised he was in fact with you.

“yn?” he placed a hand where he assumed your knee would be, “i was wondering if maybe i could talk to you? give you a proper apology…” he waited for some form of acknowledgment, looking at the lump under the bedsheets expectantly. and when you finally grunted, kicking your leg to get his hand off of you before turning to face the wall, he took that as a sigh to continue.

“it was a dumb idea, and i shouldn’t have listened to atsumu, or gone through with it… you’re right, it was cruel and it was cowardly and you didn’t deserve to go through that or have to live in fear during those three days…” he took a deep breath, facing the wall opposite of him, taking in all the photos of the two of you. “i don’t have a valid reason or excuse as to why i went through with it, i guess i was scared that if i confessed first and you didn’t like me back…then you’d stop being part of my life? but that wasn’t a good enough reason to put a fake v.k letter in your locker, and i’m so sorry for not telling you sooner.”

he glances down at his hand, fidgeting with his fingers and biting his lip as he pauses, trying to figure out how to word his feelings better.

“you could’ve told me you liked me…” your muffled reply surprises him, as he turns to look back at you, you’re already beginning to sit up in the bed, red eyes and tears staining your face, your nose was red and your eyes were puffy. “you should’ve been honest, we’ve been best friends for years. you know me better than anyone else, and you really think i’d leave you just because you confessed to me?”

you huffed, before leaning forward to give him a harsh flick on the forehead, which he immediately began nursing with his hands. your laugh was quiet and a little awkward, you leaned back against the headboard not ready to look at him yet. “i'm really mad at you, and i don’t forgive you, but i’m not going to break up with you or never speak to you again, if that’s what you thought was gonna happen…” at that, suna let out a relieved sigh inside.

“‘m sorry, i really am… if i could go back in time and stop myself from putting that envelope inside your locker, i would.”

“there’s no point in reminiscing about what you could’ve done, rin. just, promise you’ll communicate with me more, and do better so that nothing like this happens again.”

“i promise.” he grabs your hand, biting back a smile when you don’t slap his hand away or rip yours out of his grasp.

“i do have one question though, why’d you keep up the act for so long? i mean, the coincidences were weird, like the numbers counting down on the victims… but the note on the fridge the next day?”

“what note?”

“the one that said congratulations? and that i won?”

“yn, i don’t know why there were numbers counting down on the victims, and i don’t know how you got a note on your fridge but…i only ever wrote one note and that was the one with atsumu.” the two of you sat in a tense silence, were you really in danger at some point?

“holy shit, tarou did you accidentally fucking save me?”

—

“the news hyogo has been praying for has finally arrived, the notorious ‘virgin killer’ has finally been caught. 28 year old yamakawa haru, was found and caught by hyogo police after his ex girlfriend went to police about his odd behavioural issues. authorities believe his next and final victim was going to be the 27 year old woman, who had been dating him in high school insider reports state that the young lady had refused to sleep with him on multiple occasions and had eventually broken up with him after he began exhibiting strange and concerning behaviours. yamakawa is now awaiting a trial date.”

six months after all the killings had started, the main perpetrator was finally caught. you’d like to believe the notes you submitted to the police station as evidence helped, but you knew ultimately he was caught without your minuscule help.

suna continued to apologise and beg for forgiveness, even after earning it, and he kept his promise of properly communicating with you no matter what the issue was. forgiving him was difficult, but it happened eventually, and now the two of you sat in the living room watching the news, just like the morning after you slept together for the first time.

“still can’t believe i basically saved you, and i never got a thank you! you think he heard me call you a virgin when we were walking to school that one time?”

“you saved me after putting me in danger, you don’t deserve anything.” you flicked his forehead, smiling triumphantly at his pained groan.

[weirdmageddon]

i had no clue about this new show until now so i looked it up and, while i can definitely see that this show has some potentially massive issues if it's not handled properly, i'm not seeing anything so far that would make it more problematic (i know that word's overused but it's the best i can think of h) than Gravity Falls already was. i mean, Bill Cipher himself is a sentient illuminati symbol who posses canonically Jewish characters on screen multiple times (Ford and Dipper). There's also Grunkle Stan starting off as a pretty glaring stereotype of Jewish people being money hungry, but that's at least slightly subverted when his motives are explained. i'm not saying any of this to condemn Gravity Falls or Alex Hirsch or to excuse anything going on in the upcoming show (especially since i'm not Jewish myself and have no say on the matter either way), i'm just curious as to why you're more wary of this show when Gravity Falls has very similar problematic elements. Thanks for reading this all the way through, sorry if any of this was confusing or came off as accusatory.

okay so let me answer this as an actual jewish person

the design of bill, eye of providence, isnt by itself tied to the illuminati (and there are different illuminati groups anyway) but has become conflated with such in the modern age which is what made bill such a controversial design so alex could piss off rosary-clutching evangelicals (which i gotta say is something i can respect). it would be wrong of me to completely ignore the conflation though and as we all know once historically normal symbols can become corrupted and lose their original meaning but nowhere in the show is the illuminati called by name.. in the show, the eye of providence symbol was modeled after bill himself appearing throughout history and bestowing guidance upon human beings for millennia which is more in line with the original symbol itself—the eye of god bestowing divinity and providence—than a “secret elite group”. he’s also got a pyramid pattern which is inspired by the half pyramid on the back of united states seal. the eye of providence itself does not have anything to do with pyramid imagery outside of this. (this also goes without saying but bill also has one of the fucking best character designs in history im a sucker for eye imagery, his stupid little mr. peanut top hat and bowtie and his little L-shaped feet)

the problem with the illuminati anyway isnt the illuminati themselves but the DEMONIZATION of them by the catholic church because they opposed superstition, obscurantism, religious influence over public life and abuses of state power. the catholic church and conservatives did not like that and of course used the jews as a scapegoat for their paranoia like fucking usual. the eye of providence is not even mentioned on the wikipedia page. the only common thread between the illuminati and the eye of providence is freemasonry (who are also subject to antisemitic conspiracies)—which used the eye of providence as iconography sporadically and even then was only sometimes enclosed in a triangle. sometimes all the answers are right in front of you

and i think that you’re reaching too far about bill possessing them. stan and ford were definitely raised jewish as seen in the journal but i dont think theres any canon evidence for mabel and dipper other than people going wild with headcanons because hirsch is half-jewish. and even if the pines are all jewish it affects nothing about the plot of the show which is uncovering the weirdness and mysteries of a strange town called gravity falls wherein bill uses them as pawns so he can move his triangle ass to a new dimension because the nightmare realm is unstable.

even after it was revealed he was raised jewish i never got jewish stereotype vibes from stan but that’s probably because it was revealed after we found out the reason he was so money-fixated (kicked out of home, forced to survive and told his dad he’d millions on his own to prove that hes capable without ford). if we were told he was raised jewish before we knew his backstory and before he got much depth i think it would’ve been different though.

i’m wary of alex’s new show because it’s actually going to be a comedy about the about the actual real life conspiracies that are used as antisemitic dog whistles (reptilians, new world order shit) and it will be a disaster if not handled properly. i don’t care if he’s half-jewish—i’m jewish and i just don’t think it’s right to be playing those things off as some lala funny things and distorting the conspiracies from their antisemitic roots any further so that they dont seem as bad. even if conspiracy jokes are made in good faith because of how absurd it is (like sure reptilians controlling the government does seem absurd) it still holds the feeling of being called a slur deep down because they were originally created to dehumanize us

and looking at this...

great! still feels like im lowkey being shit on but dont worry its a new spin on it. how about you guys just dont make the show❤️

it’s just a bit tone-deaf and insensitive i think, especially in this day and age when misinformation and conspiracies in general are actively out of control and a present danger, due to the information bubbles and digital tribalism curated online. it’s not the right time for lighthearted comedy on this because it walks a very thin line of falling into insensitive territory by making real life conspiracy theories seem less dangerous to society than they actually are. and of course it also downplays the roots of classic conspiracies, which are of course drenched in antisemitism