#let me just be clear I do not want to hear about why you think they were terrible

[starkeyisthelastname]

It’s Always Been You Chapter One

Okay.. so here is the first chapter of my first series. Things will get more exciting! Hope you loves enjoy! 🥰 Things are a little different in this universe and don’t necessarily follow the exact OBX plot line. Here is the back plot for anyone who missed! https://www.tumblr.com/starkeyisthelastname/753335857604329472/hear-me-out-ive-been-thinking-about-this-idea

Rafe is a total dick to other girls, you’ve been warned. 😅

Chapter One:

The girl below him, whose name he couldn’t remember, let out a loud moan as he shoved himself inside her entirely. He pressed her head down into the mattress, telling her to shut the fuck up. He closed his eyes, relishing in the feeling of her cunt as he tried to get a quick nut in that night. It had been a long work week, and tonight he needed a distraction from wanting to go out and get wasted. It was when he was mid stroke that his phone rang on the bedside table. He went to ignore it, but eyes glanced over the caller ID to see it read your name.

“Hey slut, listen to me. Don’t make a fuckin sound when I answer this..” Rafe spat, smacking the girl’s ass hard before sliding his thumb across the screen to answer.

You had plans to go out that night with some friends, but now we’re laying in bed with your makeup done, pajamas on as they had changed their minds, leaving you alone on a Saturday night. As you held your phone up to your ear, you heard the voice of your best friend answer after a few rings.

“What’s up?” He asked, hips not slowing down as he continued to thrust into the girl. “Club doesn’t sound too busy?” He laughed, hearing the sound of a tv in the background.

You were completely oblivious to Rafe having company, and if you did know then you would have probably shut yourself down tonight not wanting to think about all the girls he constantly was fucking that weren’t you. It was your own fault really, but he had been your best friend since before you two knew what that even meant. You couldn’t ruin your lifelong friendship by telling him you’d been in love with him since you both were teenagers.

“The girls changed their minds, don’t ask me why either because I don’t even know.” You laughed, as you were sure it had to do with one of them wanting to see their boyfriend instead. “But… can you come over? I’m bored… and can you bring food?” You asked with a soft giggle. It was when you heard a faint moan in the back, that your heart sank. That wasn’t his tv, and you knew it by the name Rafe being followed. “I-I’m sorry.. I didn’t know you were busy. Um.. just text me later.” You said, clearing your throat as the last thing you wanted was for him to hear the sad tone in your voice. It was best you hang up the call and quickly.

Rafe barely had time to respond, before the call ended. His thrusts completely came to a stop, no longer caring about his nut as he tossed his phone on the bedside table and pulled out. “Get your shit and get the fuck out of my house.” He said, voice cold as he grabbed his sweatpants from the floor. He hated himself for doing this. Meaningless hook ups to avoid how he felt about his best friend, and his anger only grew as he would have completely dropped this whiny bitch to go over to your place in a heart beat.

The girl sat on the bed, frown on her face as she watched Rafe pull the grey sweatpants over his toned hips and grabbed his vape off the dresser to take a hit of. “B- but, I didn’t cum.” She said with a pout, only to earn a mean laugh from the man that had been inside her the only moments before.

“I told you to the shut the fuck up when I was on the phone, think I care that you didn’t get to cum? Better be out of here by the time I get out of the bathroom.” Rafe said causally, walking towards his connected bathroom, not carrying that she mumbled asshole under her breath.

He was an asshole, always had been. That stemmed from some deeper issues that he didn’t talk about often. The only ones who knew about his mental health problems were his family and you, something no random girl would ever understand. He sighed, running a hand through his hair before slamming his fist on the marble counter of the sink. Why was he continuing this torture on himself? Why was he such a pussy about telling you how he felt?

You heard the beep of the alarm, signaling someone had unlocked the front door. There was only a few people who knew the code, your parents, Sarah, Wheezie and Rafe. Walking down the stairs of your townhome, you saw his tall figure stepping in quietly, a bag of food in his hand. You took a sigh, stepping onto the hardwood floor as you looked at him. You wanted to be mad at him, but you couldn’t. There was no reason to be. Right? He was just doing what Rafe Cameron did.

“What are you doing here? I thought you had your little girlfriend over.” You asked, trying to hide the obvious jealousy in your voice. Your fuzzy slippers glided over to where he stood, taking the food sack from him and turning around to head into the living room. You heard him chuckle behind you, but didn’t look back as you plopped yourself onto the couch.

“Not my fucking girlfriend.” Rafe snorted, throwing his keys on the coffee table. “You know I don’t do serious shit.” He said, collapsing down next to you as you pulled the food out from the bag. He didn’t do committed relationships as he was far too busy working at his father’s company, trying his best to become the man he needed to be. In an out of jail, high off blow and after nearly killing someone, he was trying to do right for the people he loved and more importantly himself. The only committed relationship he was willing to be in was with you, that was if he ever manned up enough to tell you.

As you unwrapped your food, you couldn’t help but feel your heart clench at that statement. For as long as you’d known Rafe he’d never dated anyone longer than a month. He was too selfish to be tied down and after everything he had went through during his coke fiend, you knew his focus was work and trying to stay clean. You just wondered if he would ever want anything serious when it came to you.

“And you really thought that bitch was important enough for me to skip coming to hang out with my best friend?” He asked, stealing a fry as he leaned back against the cushion.

Best friend.. and that’s all you would probably would ever be to him. You brushed the thought away, slapping his hand away as he started to reach for another fry. “Why didn’t you just get something if you planned on stealing my food?” You asked with a laugh as he pretended to look hurt that you slapped his hand.

Rafe always seemed to have a stick up his ass for the most part, a brooding look constantly on his handsome face. You knew it was hard for Rafe to let down the wall of being vulnerable, or even his funnier side. You felt lucky that you got to see the side of him that not a lot of people got to experience.

“I just wanted a couple, damn. It’s the least I can get for waiting in that long ass line for some damn chicken strips.” He scoffed, muttering about how the worker was an asshole anyway.

You rolled your eyes, taking a bite of one as he pulled his vape from the pocket of his hoodie to take a hit off. “Please tell me you aren’t gonna complain this much on family vacation.” You said, jokingly, meeting his blue eyes you loved so much as you looked up at him.

Blowing out the cloud of flavorful smoke, he rolled his own eyes before leaning his head back against the couch. “Don’t fucking remind me, that my dad picked fucking Disney World of all places.” He said with a grumble, shuddering at the idea of all the kids he was going to have to be around for 7 days.

It had been a tradition every summer for as long as you could remember that both of your families took a trip together. The first one of this year being Disney World, which you were excited for. Rafe on the other hand would rather go anywhere else than the happiest place on earth.

“Wheezie’s been begging to go for years and we’ve always gone elsewhere. Let your sister be happy.” You said, knowing the thirteen year old hardly got to choose anything that she wanted to do as she was the youngest out of everyone.

“She’s 13. Don’t you think she’s a little old for Mickey Mouse or some bullshit.” Rafe said, eyes traveling back to you. The way you looked so effortlessly beautiful, having washed your face free of makeup. Your hair on top of your head in a messy bun, and cute little set pink pajama set on that hugged those gorgeous curves. He wanted to groan, not only from the thought of leaving for Orlando in a few days but also that he wanted you more than anything he ever wanted in his life. Rafe pretty much got whatever his heart desired, except having you as his girl.

“You are never too old for Disney.” You told him, matter of factly as you continued to eat, completely clueless to the fact his cerulean eyes were bored into you as he watched you.

Rafe let out a small chuckle, shaking his head at the fact you and everyone else seemed to be thrilled about visiting a place he didn’t find so magical. “Are you that excited princess?” He asked, the nickname one you were used to but still felt butterflies when he said it.

Swallowing a bite, you looked up at him to meet his gaze with a nod to your head. Disney was the place where dreams came true and maybe there you would finally have the courage to tell your best friend that you were in love with him.

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[diazsdimples]

Hiiii James 💕💕💕💕

buddie + Why are you even here?

-❤️🪐

Hi Saturn!! I hope this is what you were looking for!

"Why are you even here?"

Eddie flinches at the ice in Buck's tone. It's not like he's never heard Buck angry before - there's been plenty of times where Buck's anger has been displayed, but always directed towards others. Never at him.

Eddie licks his lips and wills his mouth to work. It's hot out here, hotter than the hallway in Buck's apartment usually is. Eddie dimly wonders if he's coming down with a fever.

"Can- can I come in?" he asks tentatively. He clutches at his fingers, twisting them together in a way that's uncomfortable enough that it gives him something else to focus on besides the way his heart is thundering in his chest.

Buck stares at him, eyes dark and unreadable, his body language radiating an energy that makes Eddie's stomach twist into knots. He's got one foot braced in the door, leaning against the door jamb. Eddie feels trapped in the doorway, like a rabbit caught in a snare, waiting for the final blow to kill it.

He thinks Buck is going to say no, and honestly, Eddie wouldn't blame him. He's the last person Buck probably wants to see.

Except then, Buck steps aside, allowing Eddie to shuffle his way into the apartment. He shuts the door behind Eddie and the click of the lock engaging is louder than a gunshot in the otherwise silent apartment.

"I-"

Eddie stops, unsure of how to go about saying everything that he wants to. He's got no clue where to start, or if Buck even wants him to talk. Eddie just knows he needs to apologize, and explain, and beg for forgiveness if that's what it takes to get Buck back in his life.

Buck leans against the kitchen island and raises his eyebrows. He's waiting, waiting to see if Eddie will grovel, get down on his knees and plead Buck to forgive him. And he would, too. He's not beyond doing anything if it means he gets his Buck back.

But he hurt him. Eddie hurt Buck with his words, and he doesn't know how Buck could ever forgive him for it. He wanted to take them back the moment they'd left his mouth, hanging in the air like a poisonous gas. He'd watched Buck's face crumple, the light leave his body, and Eddie felt like he was going to throw up because it was him that did that to Buck.

"I was hoping we could talk," he finally manages. Buck drops his head and lets out a dry, derisive chuckle, and Eddie feels like all the air has been sucked from his lungs.

"What more is there to say?" Buck demands. "You were pretty clear earlier."

"I wasn't - I didn't - please, if you'd just let me explain-"

"Why? There's nothing to explain, Eddie, why should I listen to-"

"Because I love you!"

It's bursting from him before he can stop it, exploding from his chest with all the force of a tsunami, the words crashing through the space between them, and Buck recoils as though he's been physically hit.

"You - what?"

Eddie runs a hand through his hair, clutching at the strands and pulling. The gentle sting is enough to centre him, to give him a moment to focus and breathe, and figure out what the fuck he's going to say next.

"I love you, Buck," he repeats. "A-and I know what I said earlier. I panicked. I've never - I haven't ever, you know, been with a man or even considered that as a possibility before you, and I've spent years trying to convince myself that you didn't want me. That I wasn't good enough for you, or that I was too broken for you."

Buck lets out a wounded noise in the back of his throat at that, and Eddie can see tears threatening to spill over. His own throat is tight, making his voice high and constricted, but he presses on. He needs Buck to hear this. Tentatively, he takes a step forward, slowly closing the gap between them.

"A-and then you asked me out, and I was so scared, Buck! Because what if we tried this and you realised that I wasn't right for you, or my relationship trauma was too much for you, or something happened and we broke up. Because I can't lose you, Buck. You and Chris - you're everything to me. I can't live a life without you by my side, as my best friend or as my partner. So you asked me out and I - I panicked. I said no because I didn't want to fuck this up with you and then lose you. And I thought - I thought that maybe I could live with you angry at me but still my friend more than I could live knowing what it would be like to have you, but to never experience it again."

It's silent now. Buck stares at him with wide, glistening eyes, and Eddie feels like his skin is crawling with nerves. He's laid himself bare here, in front of Buck, bared his soul and his love and every deep, intimate part of him he'd hoped to hide, and now all he can do is hope that it was enough. That he wasn't too late.

Buck lets out a shuddering breath, and his shoulders slump. He looks exhausted, and Eddie wants nothing more than to reach out and hold him. But he can't. Not until Buck says something, and Eddie can find out if this is fixable or if he's already lost the most important person in his life.

"Eds," Buck sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. "You're the biggest self-sacrificing idiot on the planet, you know that?"

"Yeah," Eddie laughs wetly, "so I've been told."

Buck takes a step towards him, and then another, until there's barely a foot between them. He can feel Buck's breath ghosting over his face, and there's something in his eyes that Eddie can't quite pick out. But he doesn't look angry. He looks... sad? Hopeful, maybe.

"You're more than enough for me," Buck whispers, reaching out to cup Eddie's face. Eddie sighs shakily as Buck's thumb strokes over his cheekbone, and he leans into the touch, his throat tightening as he fights back tears of his own.

"You always have been. And you would never lose me. I-I'm not going anywhere, Eddie. Because I love you too. I have done for years. You and Chris, you're my family. My life. So I would never let anything happen that would jeopardise that. Sure, we might have fights. It might be messy, b-but that's what relationships are, right? So we - we'd work it out together. "

Buck crooks a finger under Eddie's chin and tilts his head up, forcing eye contact. His thumb brushes over Eddie's lower lip, and Eddie lets out a shuddery breath.

"If - if you really don't want to, if you think we'd be better off as friends that's fine, I just -"

"No!" Eddie cuts in. It takes him by surprise but he's damned if he's going to fuck this up again. "No, I don't want that. I'm sorry I said I did, I'm sorry that I hurt you. I want you, Buck. Fuck, I need you."

Buck's hand slips from Eddie's chin and curves around the back of his neck, pulling him close until their foreheads rest against each other.

"Jesus Christ, Eddie, you can't just say things like that." His other hand comes up to cup Eddie's jaw, stroking over the days worth of stubble he's grown. "Can I - can I kiss you? Please?"

Eddie nods frantically, unable to get any words out past the lump in his throat, and then Buck is kissing him, his lips sliding against Eddie's and oh.

Oh.

The world tilts on its axis, spinning rapidly around him as everything he's ever known or believed crumbles, only to be rebuilt anew. It's just Buck's lips against his own, nothing more, and yet it feels like the whole universe is crashing into place. Like his entire life, everything he's gone through, the struggles, the pain, the loss, has led him to this exact moment.

The hand at the back of his neck slips up and tangles in his hair, holding him firmly in place, and Eddie lets out a quiet whimper, the sound swallowed up by Buck's mouth against his.

And then Buck pulls away, and Eddie's eyes snap open, a whine catching in his throat, until he sees the look on Buck's face. It's full of love and adoration and awe, and it takes Eddie's breath away.

"We're okay?" he breathes, and Buck nods, his bottom lip trembling. "I-I'm so sorry I hurt you, Buck. Can you forgive me?"

"Of course, Eddie. I will always forgive you, no matter what," Buck assures him.

"Can I kiss you again?"

"Please."

Eddie was such an idiot if he ever thought he could live without this. His best friend, his Buck, by his side forever. Because this is where they belong. They were made to be together, and this solidifies it. He will never let Buck go again. Not as long as they both live.

[kuunaslut]

buckle up! suguru geto + satoru gojo + reader

warnings: swearing, smut, dom!suguru soft dom?! satoru, use of pet names, heavy degradation, rough fingering, slight choking, use of toys, cum play, suguru is very mean, reader is a brat, jealousy, mentions of alcohol, dacryphilia

summary: being a personal assistant to two hot ceo's may seem chaotic but does come with its advantages if both of them were head over heels with you and didn't bother fighting over it, after all two is better than one right? however, you test their limits when you flirt with one of their associates... but you're far too deep in ur ass to realise that indeed..it was a bad idea.

it was supposed to be all fun and games! 

well, it’s always supposed to be - but this time, it was mostly because you were bored and needed something to do that would at least keep you entertained! what made them think that you out of all people would be interested in some dumb business dinner with stuck-up disgustingly rich snobby businessmen?       

and so, because of that 'stunt', you were sat on a sink, the cold marble touching your bare ass that made u hiss, satoru’s hands wrapped around your neck firmly.

"baby, what were you trying to achieve back there?" he asked, tilting his head to the side a little.

"i don't get why you're mad, all i did was go on my phone," you replied, rolling your eyes before you heard him click his tongue.

"don't roll your eyes at me, if you just went on your phone - i wouldn’t have cared, but sighing every two fucking minutes and tapping your feet on the ground so fucking hard was not necessary," he spat, gritting his teeth as you realised he was actually angry.

"i was bored okay? I don't even get why you guys bought me here in the first place! it's so boring...can i just call a taxi and head home first, pretty please?" you begged, making him inhale sharply before glaring at you.

"no y/n, you're staying here until we're done," he shot back, making you sigh.

“look, suguru and i have serious matters to discuss with a possible business partner, you should know how important this would be for us so i advise you, to stay put and enough with the bratty attitude."

"fiiiine, can you at least let me get my earphones from the car?" you asked, making him sigh angrily.

"no, look, if it helps...we'll finally be having dinner so you can stuff your mouth so you won't be bored anymore."

"i’d rather have my mouth stuffed with something else though," you whispered, leaning up to peck the side of his lips with a smirk.

"well maybe if you behave well for us, you'll get what you want after we're done," he says, giving you a smirk.

"okay, i’lll be good until then," you replied cheekily, a smirk spread across your face.

"good, now come, suguru is probably waiting for us."

both of you exited the bathroom and made your way back to the bustling restaurant where the company had rented out for the night in hopes of networking with other organizations.

"hey," suguru greeted you with a big smile, as you sat between him and satoru

you smiled at him, before bowing slightly to the man opposite you.

"so this must be your assistant? i’ve heard a lot about you," the man said, making you smile.

he looked around your age, and you had to admit he was pretty good-looking.

"well I hope good things," you said, a chuckle leaving your lips.

"nothing but good, i’ve heard you're excellent at your job, care to come work at my company instead? my assistant is still learning and he's a bit...well, slow in his work plus, it'll be nice to have a such a pretty girl walking around," he chuckled.

"well that wouldn't be too bad, i'll think about it," you joked, as you instantly felt suguru’s hand grab your thigh under the table. you hear satoru clear his throat to send a message to you to shut the fuck up. 

“let's order before we get into business, what do you say yuuji?" satoru asked, making you smile.

yuuji… what a cute name.

"yes of course, ill call over the waiter," yuuji said, before winking your way.

you smirked, suddenly having an idea in my head. how dumb

after everyone had ordered their food, they started chatting about their accomplishments at their respective companies, which to you just seemed like boastful comments.

you yawned softly as suguru drew slow circles on your thigh, something he usually did unconsciously while talking or resting. 

"would you really move to his company?" satoru whispered in your ear, making you smile.

"i don’t know… might be a nice new change of scenery," you whispered back cheekishly, as you heard the white haired man chuckle.

“if only he knew how much of a cock-hungry slut you are that you can’t even get a job done without getting filled up,” he chuckled lowly, making you clench around nothing.

"fuck off."

"language princess, you would be in a great deal amount of trouble if suguru heard you," he whispered, before pulling away.

you cleared your throat, before turning your attention to whatever suguru and yuuji were talking about.

the food finally arrived after a while, making you sigh happily as you looked down to the only familiar thing you had seen all night 

you almost moaned with how good it tasted, as you were glad you could eat since most of the reason you were bored was because you were hungry.

"you like it?" suguru asked, making you nod contently.

"yo y/n! we ordered the same thing!" yuuji pointed out, making you chuckle at how energetic and laid back he was.

"we did, it's so good right?" you asked him, giving him a sweet smile.

"it is, I would say I might order it the second time but the portion is so huge," yuuji said, laughing as you joined him.

"let's stay on track, yeah?” suguru said, a smile on his face as you felt his fingers grip your thigh tightly.

"ahh right yes, that is why we are here."

you sighed internally as you realized that was your queue to back out since you wouldn't understand as it wasn't your place to join their conversation.

and either way, it was boring.

"toruu," you whispered in satoru’s ear, while he was busy listening.

"later y/n, we're busy," he mumbled, his eyes darting between suguru and itadori as they discussed an important matter.

"but toruu this is important," you whined, feeling his hand make it's way to your thigh.

"y/n stop," he warned, gripping your thigh harshly, making you squirm in your seat a little.

once it was satoru’s turn to speak, you turned to your darling dark-haired boyfriend.

"sugu, can i go to the bathroom?"

"later," he whispered, as he didn't even bother glancing at you.

you sighed angrily, pushing their hands off your thigh before speaking out loudly.

"satoru would you be kind enough to move as i need to go to the bathroom?" you asked, tilting your head to the side as satoru stopped talking to look at you.

he hesitantly nodded, before standing up to let you get through.

you gave him a big smile before walking towards the bathroom area, your lips turning into a smirk as you knew you probably ticked them off. 

after you were done you opened the bathroom door, about to walk out before you saw someone push you back in quickly before they were pinning you to the door.

you looked up, your lips curving into a smile when you saw suguru’s angry eyes.

"what are you trying to do?" 

"i don't know what you mean?" you replied, looking at him cluelessly as he gritted his jaw.

"satoru spoke to you about staying put and being obedient before right? so what’s your problem now?" suguru drawled, as you shifted your legs, his deep voice not doing any good for your already wet panties.

"i’m already so bored...and you both were completely ignoring me," you sulked, pouting as you looked up at him with your big eyes.

"we both told you that you could go to the bathroom later right? so why did you still decide to ask again?"

"it's just the bathroom! i was so bored i was reapplying my mascara and lipgloss again just to avoid your boring conversations."

"pull up your dress," he suddenly spat, making you look up at him in confusion.

"huh?"

"not ‘huh’ i know a big reason why your so bored is because your needy little cunt is probably dripping right now...you think i didn't notice the way you keep shifting?" he asked, chuckling as he watched you slowly pull your dress up.

"tell me baby, what has you so needy right now?" suguru whispered in your ear, one of his hands moving down your body before he was cupping your heat.

you instantly let out a whine as you let go off your dress to hold onto his broad shoulders.

"i-i.....just wanted," you stuttered, bucking your hips up into his touch.

"you wanted what? attention?" he asked, as he slowly rubbed you over your panties, the thin material already sticking to your skin.

you nodded your head, making suguru chuckle darkly.

"you're always so needy for us aren't you? constantly need someone showing you attention...but you really couldn't go a few hours without being cock hungry huh? didn't satoru fuck you a few times this morning while i was out?" he asked, making you quietly moan as he drew circles on your covered clit.

you nodded once again, making suguru click his fingers.

"use your words, baby."

"mmhm...yes he did," you quickly said, as you felt him move your panties to the side before his fingers were pushing flush against your entrance.

"fuuuck your so wet," he groaned, bringing his coated fingers up to his lips.

"so tell me, you're still needy even after satoru fucked you only a few hours ago?" 

you nodded your head feverishly.

"suguuuuu....touch me please," you whined, making suguru chuckle.

he plunged two of his fingers into your seeping entrance without warning, making you throw your head back as you moaned loudly.

"quiet down, we don't need all our employees knowing how much of a dirty little slut you are for me now do we?" 

he started at a fast pace, nothing you weren't used to as he was normally rough with you in comparison to satoru, not that you cared anyways.

"cum niiice and sweet on my fingers okay?" he whispered, adding a third finger before he was curling them when he knew he hit your sweet spot.

your toes curled as you leaned into his shoulder to muffle your sounds.

"your such a fucking needy little girl baby, you've been fucked all morning and now your still so needy when we haven't even gone home yet," suguru whispered, lightly pecking your shoulder blade as his fingers pumped in and out of you.

"s-s-uguru....need...more," you whined, making your boyfriend laugh.

“nah princess....you're not getting dick that easy. you'll have to wait until we get home, so until then...hopefully this shuts you up," he whispered, as you felt your release edge closer as you clenched down on his fingers.

"that's it baby, cum now," you heard suguru say, as you felt your release wash over you, making you moan quietly, as you shivered.

he pulled his fingers away from you before bringing them up to his lips to suck them clean. you watched as you suddenly felt empty, making you whine softly.

"I have to go now, make yourself look a bit more presentable and come back soon okay?" suguru said, pulling your dress down before leaning in to peck your cheek.

"you were so good for me, i'll consider rewarding you when we get home," he whispered, winking at you before he was moving you away from the door so he could leave.

"and baby? enough with the flirting, don't think we haven't picked up on that....don't let me find you warming up to yuuji again," he warned, making you smile at him.

"i won't, pinky promise."

-

"oh your back, i thought you went missing," yuuji joked, as you sat in between suguru aand satoru again.

you laughed a little, before reaching forward to grab a glass of water.

the night progressed as the men around you continued to converse about their companies and what both of them could bring to the table if they were to affiliate.

soon it was time for drinks, making your ears perk up as satoru offered to get the drinks for everyone.

"what do you want to drink?" suguru asked you, as his hand on your thigh slowly rubbed circles into your skin.

"champagne is fine," you replied, making him nod before he was walking towards the bar after taking the others order as well.

"so y/n....have you thought about my offer from before?" yuuji asked you, making you crease your eyebrows at him.

"offer....what offer?" you ask innocently, tilting your head to the side a little.

"to come work with me....these two surely can do things without you i mean...they have each other! but my assistant is downright a rookie and pretty useless so...if you're down too, i'd love to have you," yuuji said with a smirk playing on his lips.

"i'll think about it, maybe....what do you think?" you directed the question to satoru, your faux innocent eyes shining at him as you felt his hand grip your thigh tightly.

"sorry yuuji..." satoru trailed off, before his eyes were on the man across him.

"but i can't give away our most trusted employee, she does her job well, so no, we will not be giving her away to you."

yuuji chuckled as his eyes fell to yours

"well isn't that a pity... i was looking forward to appointing you as my personal assistant," he said, extenuating the ‘personal assistant’ using it as some sort of euphemism, before suguru came back with our drinks.

"so...what have we been talking about?" suguru asked, as he handed me my glass of champagne before sitting down.

"yuuji wants me as his assistant, thought it would be fun but satoru thinks i do my job so well," you say, smirking as suguru's eyes darkened.

"is that so? well if you'd like, i can send through a list of capable people who could fill in the role if you're hiring?" suguru asked, as you felt satoru’s hand on your thigh move up higher.

"ah no, i really was joking...but i will comment, you both are very lucky," yuji said with a smile, as you playfully winked at him.

now that, ticked the both of them off completely.

suguru stifled next to you as he eagerly changed the topic, as he soon conversed with yuuji about business, while satoru leaned in to your ear.

"you've really done it now princess, spread your legs," he whispered, his warm breath hitting your cheek as you took another sip of your drink.

"and if i don't?" you dared to ask, as satoru simply smiled at you before leaning in closer.

"spread your legs," he repeated, making you gulp.

you hesitantly spread your legs as you felt satoru's fingers instantly press against your sticky clothed core.

"did suguru make you cum earlier in the bathroom? you're so wet," he whispered as you bit back a whimper.

you answer with a nod, as he scoffed.

"and your still acting bratty? hm..." he trailed off, before you saw a few other men come to join the table.

"suguru?" satoru called out to him, as he turned to look at you both.

"yeah?" he asked, his eyes trailing down to you.

"try to keep her still while you talk," he muttered, as your heartbeat accelerated.

"w-what are you g-going to do?" you stuttered, as satoru smiled at you.

"you want to wink at a man in front of us? then let's show him how much of a whore you are for us in front of him," he chuckled, as you felt suguru's hand grab your thigh tightly before you felt satoru's fingers push your panties to the side, his fingers making direct contact to your heat.

your body jolted instantly, as you tried your hardest not to throw your head back from the delicious contact, and if you thought that was painful, when two of satoru’s fingers plunged inside of you, you knew it was only going to get worse for you.

“stay still, eyes open...more investors have joined now so we'll be conversing more, stay quiet and take what i give you, or you won't like what happens next," satoru spat near your ear, making you nod feverishly.

your eyes flew to yuuji, who was too busy talking to the middle aged man next to him to notice you, as you suddenly took in the fact that everyone around you were too busy to even pay attention to you both.

satoru's fingers stilled in you, making you instantly slump in your seat as you looked towards him. 

he was smiling like a little bitch, so into a conversation with an unfamiliar guy next to him that no one would even think he was doing something so dirty and sinful under the  table.

your eyes darted towards suguru who was looking through an important document, his eyebrows furrowed as his hand was gripping your thigh tightly so your legs were spread enough for satoru to access.

"suguu," you called out, your voice coming out almost in a whine making him look at you.

"what?" he spat irritatedly, making you frown.

"when can we leave?" you whisper, as you heard his jaw clench tightly.

"didn't I warn you earlier not to be a brat?" he shot, his eyes throwing daggers at yours.

"toru won't please me properly, i can't take it anymore," you whine back boldly, as you felt his fingernails dig into the skin of you thigh in anger.

-

"satoru."

"yeah?" he responded, his eyes falling on suguru.

"move your fingers, and give her what I gave you earlier, she doesn't seem to know how to follow orders," he spat, making satoru excitedly nod.

"what?" you ask cluelessly, before you felt the sudden emptiness as Jeonghan withdrew his fingers from your sopping entrance.

maybe you should just behave

"toru wait...i-im sorry i'll stay still from now on," you quickly mumbled, making satoru chuckle lowly.

"ask suguru, you should know he doesn't tolerate your shit but here we are," satoru said, before you felt something hard and long poke your entrance.

a fucking vibrator.

your eyes widen before turning to look at suguru who was listening to a conversation intently, that was until you started tapping his arm.

"suguru n-no.... i-i'll be good I promise, please," you whispered.

"have it on medium setting, we'll see how she takes it," he said, his words obviously being directed to satoru as he completely ignored you.

your heartbeat accelerated as you felt satoru slowlly ease the dildo into your entrance, the cum slick from earlier providing an easy slip as he pushed it right into you, making you grab the table tightly.

knuckles turning white and thighs clamped together, you sat there for what felt like hours with the quiet buzz of the vibrator making you feel as if the entire room was spinning. it was perfect to ease the ache you had, but it wasn't enough to get you to cum, especially since their hands weren't on you anymore.

your head lolled towards satoru, soft pants leaving your pretty glossed lips as your long manicured nails taps against his white dress shirt eagerly.

“hm?" he hummed, glancing at you only for a second.

"i-it's too much...i wanna...c-c–"

"y/n." suguru suddenly called out, making you stop talking.

you turned to looked at him, lips pouty and eyes filled with need as it took suguru his all not to grab you by the hair and fuck you on the table in front of everyone.

which he would eventually get around to doing tonight, but just not now.

"can you go get me another glass of champagne, please?" he asked sweetly, making you shake your head softly.

"i-i can't...g-get up–"

suguru chuckled softly, cutting you off as he leaned in to your ear, his hand on your thigh once again.

"I wasn't really asking, get up and go get me what I asked for, slut," he spat, making you squirm in your seat.

"you're such a dick," you whimper out, before standing up shakily.

with all the strength and self control you could muster, you pushed past satoru before carefully walking towards the bar.

walking around in heels with a fat dildo snuggled in your pussy? this was definitely not how you saw the night going but here you were.

"o-one...g-g champagne," your words slur as the bartender looks at you in concern.

"miss are you okay?" he asks in concern, making you nod feverishly.

"mhm...just get...champagne," you mumble as he nods before pouring a glass on the sparkling liquid.

"here have a glass of water...you look flushed...are you gonna be sick?" he asked.

"no..no...but thanks for the water," you finally say a sentence without stuttering, so you pat yourself on the back mentally.

"no worries miss, please do sit down until you finish your water though," he said, making you hesitantly nod.

you slowly sat down on the barstool, sucking air through your teeth as you felt the vibrator nuzzle into you more.

"would you like anything else?" the bartender asked, giving you a glass of water.

"n-no....i’m good with...with water," your words spoke with a slight slur while you brought the glass up to your lips with shaky fingers.

"are you here alone?" the bartender suddenly asked, as you realized he had been staring at you this entire time.

"n-no i'm...i'm here with a few business people...i'm sorry for stuttering i just don't feel so good," you babbled on, completely unaware of the pair of eyes burning into your back in rage.

"that's completely understandable, you don't need to say sorry but i do think you should go rest," he said, before leaning over the counter to touch your forehead.

"you're burning up miss I don't think you should be drink–"

fuck

"get up we're going home."

you shakily turn around to see an angry suguru standing in front of you, his top two buttons undone as his eyes leave yours briefly to look at the confused bartender in front of you.

"yeah she's had a bit too much to drink," he spat shortly, before grabbing you by the wrist and yanking you off the bar stool.

"suguu careful i'm in heels," you whine out, but he doesn't seem to hear or care as he walks out of the restaurant, his grip on your wrist never faltering.

"w-what about satoru," you hiccup, trying to keep up with suguru’s pace in your painfully high heels.

suddenly you felt the vibrator's speed increase, making you buckle your hips as a moan left your lips, causing suguru to laugh. 

he opened the passenger seat door before practically throwing you in, as you heard the door shut loudly before he got into the driver's seat.

"you've actually done it today princess....you've found numerous ways to push our buttons and now i'm gonna make sure this type of behavior will never be repeated from your end, ever again," he spat.

"sugu… too much," you whine breathlessly, spreading your legs shamelessly as your hands come down to pull the dildo out of you.

"ah, ah...that’s staying in there since you decided to act like such a fucking stuck-up baby today i had to leave an important conversation early and now satoru has to do all the work....why do you think so?" He asked, turning to look at you.

"mm.....i-i don't know," you whimpered, making his eyes darken.

"how many times did i tell you to stop being a brat today, hm? i even went out of my way to please you to get you to shut up...so why did you continue to piss me off in front of everyone? and then when i told you to go get me a drink, i found you shamelessly eye fucking that bartender like a whore," he growled, grabbing your jaw tightly as you whimpered, clenching down on the dildo.

"i w-wasn't–" your words were ripped out of your throat when his hand landed down on your aching pussy harshly.

"don't fucking lie to me, you think i wouldn't notice the way you were talking to him? and the way he wanted to fuck you so bad," he chuckled, as he pulled up your dress so he could eye your soaked underwear.

"take it off, come on."

you bit down on your bottom lip as you came hard almost quietly, your head lolling to the side as soft pants left your mouth.

“ did you just cum?"

"sugu i-im sorry…," you mumble out, grabbing onto his hand for some sort of forgiveness as your lips parted as suguru removed your underwear.

"your being so so disobedient today y/n...why's that? i was talking to you about something and you decided to cum? is that what i've taught you?" he spat lowly, as you watched him bunch your underwear into a ball before pushing it into his pocket.

"m' sorry....c-couldn't help it," you whimper out, tears spilling from your eyes at the overstimulation.

"s-s-uguruuu...the v-vibrator please....too m-much," you hiccup again, as his hand threads through your hair.

"we're alone now baby...that's not my name," he spat into your ear

"although I'm starting to think i should make you call me that in public, so everyone around you including you remember who you belong to."

his voice was ten times deeper than usual, which only made you ten times wetter than you already were.

"would you like that baby?" he asked, his free hand resting on your thigh as you whined.

"take it out p-please," you beg, making suguru sigh. 

"answer my question first doll,” he groaned, his hand in your hair rubbing your scalp slowly.

"no that's embarrassing," you scoff, as he chuckled lowly. 

"why's that? you love disobeying us in public so maybe that will help you remember your place, what do you think?" he asked, eyes narrowing on you as you hesitantly shake your head.

"sugu- daddy no...please," you whine, as you feel his grip on your hair tightens painfully.

"hmm...i'll think about it..now, spread your legs and be good," he spat, making you instantly comply as you wanted nothing more than to have that damn vibrator out of you.

suguru's fingers circled the part of the vibrator that was sticking out of you, causing you to whine as your eyes pleaded with him to remove it from you.

"you want me to take this out baby? too much?" he asked with a faux pout, tilting his head to the side as you nodded eagerly.

"p-please."

"you know what was too much? your attitude with us today, so take what i fucking give you okay princess?" he asked, making you nod your head as he smiled.

"good."

your body jolted suddenly as suguru grabbed the dildo, roughly thrusting it into you as you choked out a moan.

"hold up your dress," he shot, as you whimpered from his rough ministrations, but obeyed.

your shaky fingers moved your long evening dress out of the way, bunching it up to your chest to give suguru a better view.

"sssuguru please slow down, i-i can’t ," you managed to make out, as suguru scoffed.

"you don't make the demands here princess, i do, so why don't you sit here and take it...understand?" he spat, removing the dildo out of you before turning it off.

you breathed out a sigh of relief, your eyes closing only for a second before you felt three of suguru’s thick long fingers push into you without warning.

"fuck suguru....fuck!" you screeched out, your body jolting as his fingers only went rougher at your words.

"what have i said about swearing?" he spat angrily, making you whimper out a weak apology he wasn't going to accept anyways. 

"you use this pretty mouth of yours for all the wrong reasons baby," he added, fingers pinching your bottom lip.

"i-i'm sorry daddy," you whisper meekly, making him hum.

"don't swear again, okay?" 

"o-okay," you whisper back, as his fingers are stilled in you.

"okay what?" he spat as you whined, clenching down on him.

"okay daddy," you muttered quickly before suguru resumed the rough pace he had set for his fingers.

"i'm gonna c-cum daddy," you pant, throwing your head back as suguru pulled on your hair.

"you don't cum until I say so," he drawled, making you shake your head as a smirk played on your lips.

"no."

"no?"

"i want to cum...it's t-too much," you bite back, looking up at suguru’s amused face.

"oh so you're still being a brat?... i'm not satoru baby, you know i won't give you any chances so watch what you say to me," he shot, fingers pulling at your hair making you wince.

"it hurts stop," you whine out, wishing satoru was here to help soothe you like he always did.

every time you did something wrong, it was suguru that would get furious and punish you until dawn, but satoru preferred to teach you in much more gentle ways.

"then learn to behave," he spat, stuffing two more fingers into you before curling them up.

the stretch was incredibly delicious, as your eyes rolled to the back of your head before a long moan left your parted lips.

"daddy please...I need to cum," you desperately whined out, as suguru’s fingers didn’t falter.

"nah, you're not allowed to cum until i tell you to," he spat, all four of his fingers curling in you as you felt the heat rush to your throbbing pussy.

"please i c-can't," you whine, the soft pants and squelching sounds coming from you only urging suguru on as it took all of his self-control not to drag you into his lap and fuck the living daylights out of you until you were reduced to nothing but tears.

before you could even warn him, or yourself, you felt the knot in your stomach snap as you came hard all over his fingers. 

you moaned out in bliss, the feeling taking over your senses as your body spasmed.

"are you fucking serious?" he spat angrily, yanking his fingers out of your soaking entrance with a loud pop.

“i couldn’t help it, you kept pushing it a-and–“

“i’m not gonna take any of your bullshit, you should know that by now. i’m not satoru to listen to your pathetic little excuses,” he growled, pushing his soaked fingers into your mouth roughly, causing you to gag and whimper in pain.

“suck them clean whore,” he spat condescendingly, as you softly suckled on his fingers before he was pulling them out.

“now sit back properly, pull your dress down, and put your seatbelt on, we’re leaving,” he spat, pulling away from you completely as he started the car.

“no i wanna to wait for toru, you’re mean,” you whine out, refusing to put your seatbelt on.

“don’t make me repeat it, y/n….you either put it on yourself or i do it for you,” he growled making you huff.

“can we at least go back in to get dessert? i didn’t get to try the strawberry cake, sugu please,” you whine, holding onto his arm as your tits pressed into him.

he sighed angrily before grabbing your jaw tightly, slightly pushing your cheeks together as his burning eyes bore into yours. 

“tonight was my last fucking nerve. you know i’m not gentle like ‘toru’, so you should’ve realized what you were doing before you acted like a slut, buckle up princess, tonight gonna be a looooong night. 

omg hey guys this is my first writing on this account since ii deleted my old account!!! i hope u guys love this <3

[streaminn]

There’s something about the fact that personal boundaries exist to separate people from those who’d impede on one’s personal bubble, and yet for Wednesday Addams, because her boundaries are always clear, other’s feel bold enough to constantly cross them. Boring boys continue to ignore her clear intentions to be alone; trying new pathetic pickup lines that range from pedestrian to unintelligible. Fellow students interrupt her silent studies in the library to spark up a mundane conversation that go nowhere. Even some of the teachers try to rope the goth into some inane extra curricular with the promise of fun, even though she’s already participating in the required activities that she actually wants to do (fencing and bee keeping is enough). While Wednesday isn’t exactly yearning for the whole school to fear her (at least not too much) a healthy amount would be nice if it meant she’d have some peace and quiet without another person breaking the silence.

There’s an obvious exception though, personified in her bubbly roommate. Enid Sinclair has mastered the ability to somehow weave her way through Wednesday’s boundaries so effortlessly that it’s like a dance. The wolf so clearly wanted to wrap the raven in her arms since the moment they met, and yet she respected Wednesday’s wishes, only crossing the line after the two of them helped save the school. The goth even hugged back, and though she’ll never admit it, she wished the hug lasted longer. This isn’t even touching upon all the countless times that Wednesday has convieniently forgotten her aversion to touch when it comes her roommate. To be fair, Enid wouldn’t linger for long, and it was usually either Wednesday’s arms or shoulders, but the raven has harmed people for less, so there’s no denying that the wolf was special (though denial is a fickle thing anyways, especially according to a certain vampire).

Unfortunately, Wednesday was currently in a situation that didn’t involve her “only exception” as she found herself at the receiving end of a new student’s attempts at flirtation.

“Look, all I’m saying is that my ability to heal rivals everyone here,” says boring lizard boy whose name Wednesday didn’t even bother to hear. “I can even regrow limbs!”

Wednesday doesn’t even waste her energy rolling her brown eyes at this nobody, instead opting to just ask, “Why don’t you regrow them somewhere else, preferably far away from me.”

“Oh come on Addams, I know you’re into weird shit. You’re telling me you don’t have a single morbid thought about my abilities? ‘Cause let’s just say the healing helps with certain endurance based activities.”

“I hold no thoughts of you, for if I did, I’d risk lowering my IQ. Now leave.”

“Damn, can’t the savior of Nevermore throw this dog a bone? Not even a smile?”

His slimy fingers began to reach for one of the goth’s braids, but he soon found two of his fingers caught between a pair of scissors.

“Do not touch me, less we learn the extent of your abilities.”

The boy threw up his hands with a dopey grin. “Whatever you say Addams.”

Fed up with the social interaction, Wednesday began to make her way back to her shared dorm. Enid should be there, probably already painting Thing’s nails. Regrettably, this brief moment of thinking distracted Wednesday long enough to not notice the sleazy reptile once again reaching towards her. This time, he grabs her wrist, specifically the one holding the scissors.

It’s short lived however, because right as the raven was about to give this boy a sneak peak of Hell itself, she feels something splash against her face, followed by the shrieks of the idiot who dared touch her. Wednesday lifts her arm to see his freshly amputated hand still attached to her wrist. She touches her face and finds that some of his blood has indeed gotten on her. She finally looks to the source of the violence, finding her angry roommate with blood still dripping from her multicolored claws. The sight causes something to stir in Wednesday, not unlike the way she felt after hugging her bloody roommate for the first time.

“Don’t ever touch her,” growls Enid. “Don’t even look at her, or your eyes will be next.”

The lizard boy nods his head as if his life depended on it, before sheepishly asking, “Can I at least have my hand back?”

“Oh for sure!” With a smile on her face, Enid removed the hand from Wednesday’s wrist, and with a casual strength that only a werewolf could muster, threw it across school grounds so far it couldn’t be seen from where they were standing. “Go get it. Come on Wednesday, it’s almost your writing time.”

With a level of irony for the currently handless boy, Enid grabs Wednesday’s hand as she drags her away from the scene. All he can do is bleed and watch them disappear into the school.

As they walk the halls, Enid talks a mile a minute, with her actions now dawning on her. “I really just cut his hand off. Like, SLASH, off! It was like instinct, I wasn’t even thinking. I just saw him touch you, and I know you don’t like to be touched.”

“Enid.”

“Like I know you can fight your own battles, but part of being best friends is that you don’t have to do it alone anymore!”

“Enid.”

“I’m probably going to get into trouble aren’t I? I mean, he heals right? It’ll grow back, everything is fine. Plus, it was kind of self defense, or is it not ‘cause I was coming to your defense?”

“Enid.”

“Sorry, yes Wednesday?”

“While I agree that I could’ve handled it myself, your actions are appreciated, especially due to how vividly violent it was.”

The validation causes Enid to blush. “Aww, thanks Wednesday, anything for you.” The blonde smiles a big toothy grin, to which the goth replies with a small smile only meant for Enid. The two continue to their dorm, with a peculiar sight for anyone that dared to look in their direction: they were still holding hands.

Enid, realizing that her favorite sweater is covered in blood: awh man!! Now it's never going to wash out

Wednesday, already tugging her towards their dorm: I can help with that

[cthulhuwritesstuff]

Let’s talk about escapism.

In case of these two peculiar lovable dummies, escape from reality they face on daily basis (not to mention that those realities are also what both of them believe they deserve) is being with each other.

Both realities are quite different (which is the issue number one), and at this point, I believe we all know what those realities are.

However, when brought down to crisp clear simplicity: they both suffer from tremendous amounts of guilt and are both in trauma-induced, nerve-wracking, depressing state of survival mode. They understand each other very well, because it takes one to know one, but neither of them is allowed to see that. It is more of an instinct that they do not question in fear of breaking their little kaleidoscope image of a fantasy where they just are.

Means of escape in this case is sex, where both of them get to let go of that baggage for a while and ignore the existence of it altogether.

This tactic, no matter how enticing and addictive, is still just a means to an end, and it has a low shelf-life expectancy.

They are both aware, partially or subconsciously, of this engagement and are both unwilling to to let go of it because “You are the only thing that makes me feel alive and not just like I am surviving Hell.” (Literally)

BUT, as long as it’s not addressed head on, it is not real and it can’t hurt them, and as we already know — real things in their lives hurt them and are what makes them miserable.

Stolas is aware of that. He is way ahead of Blitz when it comes to that realization.

Stolas himself mentions the adoration and fear he has toward their escape method several times, in his songs.

Stolas not only knows he’s at risk of losing his escape method, but due to him bringing these feelings he had developed for Blitz forward into his reality, they suffocate him just like the rest of his life does. He has no capacities to rationalize it all, he has never healed. So he convinces himself, despite hope and reason, that Blitz doesn’t want the real him.

He had made this decision even before Blitz came in, whether he liked it or not. The spark Blitz brings into his life is far too small to battle the overbearing guilt of simply existing. He trained and fed that monster for years.

His hope sounds more like foolishness and naïveté to him, because “How can someone love me?”

So he leaves the situation before the conflict begins, because that is how he copes. He wants to escape the crashing “reality he deserves” (which is being all alone and sad), and no matter how much we know that’s not true, right now, Blitz is a part of that reality for good, not his escape method anymore.

Stolas’ image is all he has, and keeping himself composed is literally all he has left when he finally faces Blitz. When Blitz doesn’t allow him to leave, doesn’t understand why he is being “dismissed” and challenges him, the dam breaks and Stolas now forces him out to get some of his equilibrium back. That creates a whole new problem I cannot wait to see addressed in the future episodes. Stolas will most probably overcompensate for that last “show of weakness” in some way. Let’s remember: Blitz had never seen Stolas cry before, and honestly, I don’t think anyone who matters has.

On the other side, Blitz has the realization of “this is real” the moment Stolas offers him the crystal with no strings attached.

“I can always do better” said after Stolas had already placed his freedom on the palm of his hand is him asking not to be forced to face the fact that this is not just a fantasy world anymore.

“Keep it the way it was because that doesn’t hurt” might be the words to go by, and Blitz— no matter the fact that he hears exactly what Stolas is telling him and understands it, too — is now terrified.

Because Blitz is not good enough. He is not a reliable person. He is trash. He is at the bottom of the food chain. He is a murderer. A selfish, heartbreaking freak. He is a hypocrite and a pervert. He is undeserving of understanding, of comfort, of grace.

And that feeling of instant pain and rage you get when you read those words is exactly what he fights against each day while telling all those things to himself.

None of it true, yet Blitz believes it wholeheartedly.

He attempts to push that away again by slipping into the all-too-easy role play, into silly make believe, not because he is cruel, not because he is obtuse, but because he is desperate to keep the door to his escape route open. To keep the fantasy going, because he has no capacities to realize his feelings (or Stolas’ feelings) yet.

And when he is, yet again, cut off, is where the fight or flight kicks in and his inner voices start screaming.

There must be a real, tangible reason that Stolas is doing this. There must be some kind of an endgame that Blitz can understand. Blitz needs his equilibrium back now, and there’s the point of breaking.

Stolas is probably getting bored of him. Stolas now knows what he likes and that he can get it anywhere he wishes, so he is throwing Blitz away and trying to masquerade it as a kind gesture. And to Blitz, who takes pride in standing his ground and never backing down, who despises being looked down on and being pitied, this is absolutely infuriating. It is downright insulting.

Rage pours forth, and he is borderline incoherent, but everything he says is a precise image of what he thinks of himself first and what he wants Stolas to do second. There is nothing to land on however, Stolas is not his escape anymore, so when Blitz falls into anger, he burns to crisp and says things he doesn’t mean.

Escaping into Stolas was all too easy and he had taken it for granted — both of them had. Stolas shows this by, even for a moment, hoping Blitz would say “yes, I will stay” at the drop of a dime, and Blitz by expecting Stolas to take everything he dishes out, bear traps and insults included, and still want to be around him.

Neither of these things happen, neither gets to escape themselves. The spell is broken and now they are both hurt, they are both alone. They are equally at fault when it comes to that fight and they are equally overdue for facing their own demons. They were, at the end of the day, singing two different songs and there was no room for really understanding the other side when there’s already so many assumptions, insecurities, self-hatred and conclusions about what they had birthed from pain and previously accumulated fear.

We are not supposed to be told this straight up through the show. Neither of them is supposed to say this aloud because real life doesn’t work that way, and I love that. It is very raw and visceral and it is very well crafted.

As I said before, I will say it again: miscommunication in this episode was done flawlessly and I cannot wait to see how it all gets resolved.

[aishangotome]

Alfons Sylvatica: Chapter 20

Chapter 19 Premium Story

♡———♡

The next morning, I woke up and immediately felt something was off.

(Huh...?)

I was the only one in bed.

It should be natural since it's my room, but it felt terribly strange.

(...I felt like I slept with someone yesterday...)

(...Who was it?)

I try to remember, but I can't remember anything like a fog has settled.

Even when I look around my body and the bed, it's neatly arranged and there's no trace of anyone being there.

But...

(This scent...what is it?)

Suddenly, when I moved, a sweet scent brushed past my nose.

(I wonder what it is...when I smell this scent...)

(I feel so sad...)

(Even though I don't know it, it feels like a very important scent to me...)

Like a flower wet with night dew, quiet and clear...

...It was a scent that I wanted to be wrapped in forever.

-

Kate: Good morning.

Roger: Ah, morning.

Roger was the only one sitting in the dining room.

Kate: Where is everyone else?

Roger: Jude and Ellis are at work as usual. Liam and Harrison are at the cake shop.

Roger: Victor and Will are at the palace, and El is...probably collapsed somewhere.

Roger tells me everyone's schedule and bites into his bread.

Kate: Thank you for yesterday.

Roger: No problem, my research on the curse progressed as well, so it's a give and take, right?

Roger: Are you feeling okay? You looked quite pale yesterday.

Eat, Roger says, pushing a silver stand with toast towards me.

Kate: Yes, I'm completely fine now...

(Huh...why was I so depressed?)

I realized that last night's events were vague and hazy.

(During the day, Roger and I went to see the family of someone who we thought might have had a "mirror curse"...)

(And then...)

Kate: Why was I looking so pale...?

Roger: Oh? That's because the results of the investigation weren't good, of course.

Roger: It seems that just having a keepsake isn't enough to escape the fate of the "mirror curse."

Kate: ...But why was I so desperate to find a way to escape the fate of the "mirror"...

My chest suddenly felt a sharp pang.

(This feeling...what is it...?)

I'm driven by an intense impatience, as if I'm being burned from the inside.

(I have to remember.)

(I need to remember.)

(It must have been something I absolutely can't forget.)

---...You're a real fool, aren't you?

I hear someone's voice dwelling in my head.

--It's okay, I understand. I've lost.

Whose voice is this?

--Let's end this.

Who are you?

Alfons: --"I loved you," in my own way.

Kate: ...!

Kate: Alfons...

Roger: Alfons? Who is that...?

After a moment of blank silence, his eyes widen.

Roger: --Damn, we got played...!

Kate: Did he use his ability on us while we were sleeping...?

Roger: Probably. He must have chanted something like, "When you wake up, you'll forget everything about me."

Roger: I was taking a nap in the lab. That guy...he used his ability on me while I was sleeping.

Kate: He probably did it to me while I was sleeping too...but why would he do this...?

(--No way.)

"Let's end this."

(No, that's impossible.)

I immediately deny the possibility that came to mind.

Because it's too absurd to do "that" for someone you don't even love.

(But--)

Elbert: ...Kate, Roger.

Kate: Elbert...!

The moment I saw Elbert enter the dining room, I rushed towards him.

Kate: Do you remember Alfons...!?

Elbert: ...Yes.

Elbert: Al's ability...has always been a little weak on me.

Elbert: I remembered as soon as I saw the note he left.

(Note…)

The note that was handed to her simply said, “Have a lovely rest of your life.”

Kate: …This is…

“Have a good life,” it’s like a farewell message for the rest of your life.

Roger: It’s more like a will than a note.

Kate: …

The thought she had just dismissed came back to her.

Elbert: …I once asked Al what he would do if you didn’t give up on him.

(Give up…)

**flashback to last night**

Alfons: To see if you’ve truly given up on me.

**end of flashback**

Elbert: Al only answered, “I’ll think about it then.”

Elbert: But I thought there was only one option the Al I know would take…

Kate: What is that…?

(Please)

(Tell me an answer that is different from what I’m imagining)

She stared at Elbert, as if praying.

Elbert: Before you pour any more of your heart, body, and time into Al and fall even more in love with him…

Elbert: He would disappear.

The moment she heard those words, her mind, which had been boiling with confusion and agitation, cooled down.

(That’s right, the Alfons I’ve seen is the kind of person who would do “that kind of thing.”)

**flashback**

Kate: Are you…the kind of person who would throw away your life for a favorite toy?

Alfons: Yes.

Alfons: After all, my life is lighter than a tin soldier’s.

**end of flashback**

Kate: …I have to find him.

Kate: I didn’t fall in love with him so he could do something like that…

Elbert: …I had a feeling you’d say that.

Elbert: I usually don’t chase after Al either, but this time is an exception.

Elbert: –I won’t allow him to just disappear like that.

(Elbert, are you angry…?)

It was unexpected.

But she understood his feelings well.

He underestimates the feelings directed towards him.

Roger: But it won’t be easy to find someone who can fool Victor’s eyes.

William: –Liam just reported on Alfons’ whereabouts.

Kate: William!?

(He went to the palace? And why…?)

Kate: Wasn’t Liam supposed to go to the cake shop…?

William: The Privy Council tipped off the Purification Club, and they had their eye on Alfons.

William: So Liam and Harrison have been tailing Alfons since the other day.

Kate: Is that so…?

William: It was more about following the trail of people trying to contact Alfons.

William: The goal was to locate the residence of a Purification Club leader…

William: However, this morning, Alfons didn’t shake off their tail, but rather, he was obediently taken away.

(No way…)

William: I’m going to go and punish the Purification Club members at the place he’s headed to, but…

Kate: You guys are–

William narrowed his eyes.

William: It doesn’t seem like I need to ask what you’re going to do.

-

(Alfons' POV)

The Purification Club members I easily caught by simply wandering around the alleys took me to a room in an old mansion decorated with faded paintings.

The place was covered in dust and had poor taste for an interrogation room.

Lawmaker with Round Glasses: You came along quite easily.

Alfons: If someone calls out to me, I’m the type to follow anyone anywhere.

Alfons: Wasn’t that written in the materials shared by the Privy Council bigwigs?

A dilapidated mansion, rarely visited by anyone.

In the center of a room, surrounded by several armed men, a figure sits in a chair.

––The ideal situation.

Alfons: I suppose Lord Gore isn't here in person?

Alfons: Of course not. In evil organizations, it's usually the underlings who do the dirty work.

Lawmaker with Round Glasses: We are not an evil organization. You are the one who belongs to an evil organization, are you not?

Lawmaker with Round Glasses: Showing off your suspicious powers everywhere has come back to bite you.

Lawmaker with Round Glasses: When I told a certain person about the hotel break-in and your physical characteristics, your name came up immediately.

Alfons: Oh my! Who could it be? If they're a fan of mine, I'll entertain them for a night.

Mocking him, the man's temples throbbed with visible veins, just as Alfons had hoped.

(Ah, good. He seems pretty easy to manipulate.)

With a few more taunts, he'd likely lose his patience.

Alfons: ...Are you familiar with the story of Snow White?

Alfons: Who is the most foolish in that story? The most cruel?

Lawmaker with Round Glasses: I didn't bring you here to listen to childish riddles.

Lawmaker with Round Glasses: Tell me about the organization you belong to and its members. If you do, I'll spare your life.

Alfons: Heh... Is this your first time?

Alfons: You should have learned from a professional interrogator before proceeding.

Alfons: Interrogation won't be successful unless you properly research your subject and figure out what threats will make them talk.

Lawmaker with Round Glasses: ...Good advice for a fool who wanders into enemy territory.

Lawmaker with Round Glasses: Let me answer your ridiculous riddle.

Lawmaker with Round Glasses: The most foolish one here is you, and the most cruel one is me.

Alfons: Bzzt. Sorry, incorrect.

Alfons: The answer to both questions is the mirror.

Alfons: Speaking unnecessary truths and causing tragedy... Don't you think it's irresponsible towards the story's ending?

Lawmaker with Round Glasses: W-What are you trying to say!? Do you not value your life!?

Alfons: Can't you even enjoy a little wordplay? Read between the lines.

Alfons: I hate tragedies.

Alfons: So even if you kill me right now, I won't complain.

Alfons: Go ahead, feel free. Whenever, wherever.

The man with the round glasses, seemingly unable to comprehend the words, snorted.

Lawmaker with Round Glasses: You are a valuable source of information. I won't kill you until you tell me about your "Crown" friends.

Alfons: ... For the sake of your poor comprehension of the unspoken, shall I speak plainly?

He stands up from his chair and approaches the lawmaker.

The guards, who had been lulled into a false sense of security by his lack of resistance, all raised their guns at once.

(Yes, good boys.)

Alfons: I refuse to tell the truth. No matter what you do to me, you won't get any accurate information from me.

-

(Kate's POV)

Guided by William, we left the castle and met up with Harrison and Liam a short distance from the mansion where Alfons was taken.

This was because Roger noticed guards lurking around the mansion.

Roger: They're probably trying to get information on anyone who comes to rescue Alfons, in other words, members of the Crown.

(If we rush in carelessly, we'll put the Crown itself in danger.)

(...But—)

I couldn't help but want to rush in right away, thinking about when memories of him might be lost forever.

Elbert: Roger... can you make sure you don't miss any of the lurking guards?

Roger: Considering their positions and numbers, we'll need four people.

Elbert: ...Then, can I leave it to you?

Elbert: Kate and I will go inside.

Kate: Elbert...!

It wasn't just me who was surprised; everyone else was looking at Elbert with a slightly surprised expression.

Harrison: Wow. That's rare for El to be so proactive.

Liam: All right. I'll make sure to take care of any witnesses who see you two.

William: —Do as you please.

William: We'll head over as soon as we're done taking care of the lurkers.

-

(Alfons' POV)

Alfons: I refuse to tell the truth. No matter what you do to me, you won't get any accurate information from me.

Lawmaker with Round Glasses: You––

Alfons: Come on, come on, aren't you going to shoot? Don't any of you have the guts?

As I take one step at a time towards the muzzle of the gun and smoothly draw the saber from my waist, I hear the sound of gun hammers being cocked from all directions.

To kill a valuable prisoner, the lower ranks need an excuse.

(Such as provoked and enraged, unable to control my emotions)

(Attacked and felt my life was in danger, so my survival instincts kicked in)

If the latter is added to the former, the trigger becomes even lighter.

Lawmaker with Round Glasses: Don't shoot yet!

Alfons: Oh! So you can kill people from the slums like trash, but you're hesitant to shoot a "noble"?

Alfons: I'm so sorry, how rude of me.

Alfons: I may be dressed like a noble, but... I was born in the slums, which you all despise.

(One more push)

All I have to do is make the stupid underlings who didn't take my saber away because I wasn't resisting think "this guy is dangerous."

Alfons: So, how about it? Can you do it?

Alfons: If you still don't have the courage, I'll cut off one of your arms.

I put my killing intent into it and pointed the tip of my sword at him.

Kate: ...Alfons!!

Alfons: ...?

––I heard a voice I shouldn't have heard.

-

A voice I shouldn't be able to hear reaches my ears, and for a moment, the mocking smile I'd been wearing fades away.

If this were a play, this is where I'd be expecting boos from the audience.

Turning around, I see her rushing towards me.

(––Why?)

I knew Liam and Harrison were tailing me.

My plan was to lead them here, provoke the Purification Club enough to get myself killed before they arrived.

Then, Crown would interrogate the guy with his professional techniques, expose the Purification Club's leader, and we'd have a happy ending.

My corpse would be disposed of with the other guards, barely remembered. It would have been perfect.

––Or so I thought.

Alfons: Ugh.. Seriously.

Alfons: Reality really sucks.

Alfons: You're all dragging your feet and now we're in trouble.

Man: Is that woman one of his companions---!?

Lawmaker with Round Glasses: I don't know, it's not in the report. She's probably one of the women this guy picked up.

Lawmaker with Round Glasses: ––Whatever, kill her.

The gun was pointed at her.

(Oh, really)

This is ridiculous.

-

(Kate's POV)

Kate: ...Alfons...?

Everything felt like it was in slow motion.

The gun that was aimed at Alfons turned towards me.

The next thing I knew, Alfons' back was shielding me.

Slowly, his body tilted—and finally, the flow of time returned when his body collapsed onto the floor.

Kate: Alfons...!!

Lawmaker with Round Glasses: What are you doing! Damn it! If he's dead, how am I supposed to report this to Councilman Gore...?

Guard who fired: I-I apologize!

Lawmaker with Round Glasses: Forget it! You useless fools! Don't move a muscle until I give the order!

While hearing the commotion as if it were far away, I rushed to Alfons.

I put his head on my lap and managed to lift his upper body.

Kate: Alfons! Alfons!? Can you hear me!?

Lawmaker with Round Glasses: You woman, you're in the way, move!

He called out in a loud voice, and I looked up with a start.

(This person—)

The lawmaker with the round glasses who was talking to Councilman Gore at the Purification Club hotel was glaring at us.

A cold muzzle, like a black hole, was pointed directly at us.

Lawmaker with Round Glasses: Get away from that man. If we torture him even as he dies, he might spill something—

Lawmaker with Round Glasses: Ugh, uugh!? What...!? M-My head—

(Lord Elbert...!)

Before I knew it, Lord Elbert was standing behind him.

Elbert: ...You, on the other hand...

Elbert: Could you please... not interfere with them?

Whether it was because of Lord Elbert's ability or not, the lawmaker with the round glasses clutched his head, collapsed to the ground, and started sobbing.

(I don't know what happened... but we're saved.)

The bewildered guards were frozen in place at the abnormal sight.

Alfons: Pfft, ugh, ahahaha!

Kate: ...!?

Suddenly, I heard laughter from my arms, and consciousness returned to Alfons.

Kate: Alfons!? Thank goodness, you're conscious... but why are you laughing!?

Alfons: Ahah, no, I'm sorry, it's just... I found it funny, ahaha!

Every time he spoke, his black clothes were gradually getting soaked with blood.

Kate: Blood...! You're bleeding! Stop laughing!

Kate: We need to stop the bleeding quickly...!

The blood was flowing from around his shoulder.

I pressed a handkerchief tightly against the endlessly gushing wound.

In an instant, the white handkerchief turned red.

Alfons: Ha... ugh, hehe, ha, I'm sorry, I know I'm bleeding profusely...

Alfons: But I can't help but laugh... ahaha!

(So much blood is flowing...)

Kate: What's so funny!? It's not funny at all...!

Tears welled up in my eyes.

A black-gloved fingertip gently wiped away the tears that were about to spill.

Alfons: ...Hehehe. You're so desperate, it's silly.

Alfons: To think you'd remember me so quickly and chase me all the way here.

The warmth I feel through his gloves tightens my chest and brings tears to my eyes again.

Alfons: You really are a person who can't get what she wants, aren't you?

Alfons: It's so amusing how nothing goes your way that I can't help but laugh.

Kate: Sh-shut up...

Elbert: Kate, let's use this to tie it tightly over the handkerchief.

Lord Elbert rushes over, holding a long, white cloth.

It looks like he tore it from the edge of his long coat.

Looking around, I see that all the guards are also crouched down like the bespectacled councilman.

Kate: Th-thank you.

Alfons: Humph... Elbert, were you always this... competent?

Elbert: In times like these, you make do with what you have... That's what you taught me a long time ago.

Alfons: ...Such a goody-two-shoes.

After firmly bandaging the wound with the cloth, Lord Elbert left the room to call Roger.

Alfons: ...I wonder why you woke up so soon.

Alfons says, looking puzzled.

Kate: H-how would I know... something like that.

Alfons: If only you had remained deceived a little longer.

Alfons: You wouldn't have had to witness the death of the person you love.

Alfons: By the time the illusion faded... you could have forgotten me completely.

Kate: P-please don't say... death...

Kate: No... Please don't die.

Kate: My love, my feelings, they're still...

Kate: Please don't let them become an illusion...

I could only hold Alfons tightly.

So that the creeping shadow of death wouldn't snatch him away.

So that his existence, my memories, wouldn't disappear like a mirage.

Alfons: Haa...

Alfons stirs in my arms.

I panic when I realize he's trying to sit up.

Kate: You can't get up! The blood...

Alfons: This is truly, completely, from the bottom of my heart, not what I wanted.

A warmth brushes against my lips.

(A kiss...)

It was the briefest of touches... The most fleeting, yet the most deeply etched kiss I've ever experienced.

Alfons: ...It seems I love you quite a bit, after all.

Kate: Wh-what?

Alfons: To the extent that I want to utter these words on my deathbed and leave an unforgettable mark on your life.

Alfons: Life is quite... unpredictable, isn't it?

After smiling, his head wobbles.

(No...)

(No, please.)

Kate: ...More.

Kate: I'll make you leave more behind...! I won't let you die here...

His eyes, which seemed ready to close at any moment, slowly looked up at me.

Alfons: ...Then... shall we make a bet?

Kate: ...A bet...?

Alfons: If I die, I win. Goodbye, have a good life.

Alfons: But if I survive... you win.

Alfons: As you wish, we'll love each other properly—

Alfons: And I'll tear your life to shreds.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Blind Love Chapter 21

Mad Love Chapter 21

If you’d like to support my translations, feel free to buy me a coffee here! :)

[imnotjaesblog]

Part Four: The Gryffindor

Mood: "I miss your presence in my life. I miss you talking with you. Laughing with you. Crying with you. I miss my best friend,"

Starring: Lee Jeno

Warnings: None. This part is just angsty

Words: 9k

Enjoy ;)

"There is nothing to talk about," you told Jeno trying to move your way past him. He blocked your path. You huffed shutting your eyes for a moment in annoyance. The night was going so well. Why did Jeno have to come and ruin your mood?

"Jeno move I have nothing to say to you," you spoke sternly.

He placed his hands on your shoulders. You eyed him. He let his hands fall from your frame. He kept the same desperate stare in his eyes. "I just want you to listen," he said pleadingly looking into your eyes. "If you don't like what I have to say you can walk away and I'll leave you alone, forever," he babbled but kept a sincere tone. You sighed looking around the room.

"Fine. But I better not regret it," you warned. You walked over to the dark brown couch placed in front of the fireplace. Jeno followed sitting beside you. You both turned your bodies to each other. You both sat there awkwardly staring at the other.

"Well," you motioned to the silence that surrounded you.

"I apologize. I didn't think you'd agree," he spoke quietly. He adjusted himself clearing his throat. He rubbed his sweaty palms on his sweatpants. You sighed again hand meeting your forehead. He licked his lips.

"I do not know where to begin," he spoke unsurely.

"How about at the beginning," you sarcastically suggested.

"I didn't mean to kiss her," he stated. Your eyes roll and your head falls back. You were in no headspace to hear any of this nonsense. You shook your head and Jeno continued his rambling. "It just happened," he trailed seeing the sudden change in your face. A moment ago you were calm and now you were angry at him. It confused him.

You stood up from the couch. Jeno turned his body in your direction standing up to follow you. "It does not matter to me who you kiss Jeno," you stressed. He was not convinced. You had completely cut him off after the kiss he shared with Samantha. He understood how it could hurt your feelings, and even make you jealous.

"Is it not the reason you do not speak to me?" he asked. You stopped walking letting out a huff nostrils flaring. You could feel the heat rise from the pit of your stomach to the back of your neck. You turned to him hands balled in a fist.

"The reason I do not speak to you is not because of some kiss," you argued back. His face flushed and frame open to you. "So what is it then? Are you jealous of her?" he spoke quickly the questions desperately trying to escape his lips. His eyes bore into yours begging for a response. It did not matter if it was what he wanted to hear. He wanted to see you sad, angry, even mad. He wanted you to feel something towards him and then continue to treat him like a ghost in the hallway.

"I am not jealous!" you said shouting a bit. He was frustrating you. The more he spoke it ignited your body in flames. Your jaw clenched as you stared into his eyes. You felt your body shake. "I am not jealous of her. I never have been. But I will not sit here and listen to you try and make it seem like you have done nothing wrong. You were my best friend Jeno. You kissed me and then let me go like it was so easy for you. And until I've heard you admit to your wrongs there is nothing for you to say," you let the words sadly fall from your lips.

He went to speak but you stopped him with your hand. You shook your head. "I do not wish to hear your voice again tonight. Or ever until you've owned up to your wrongs. I do not wish to hear you explain yourself any longer," you said grabbing your belongings. Jeno did not follow you as you walked away. Instead, he watching feeling his heart get crushed by you, again.

The overwhelming feeling inside you rises higher than any flame. Between Renjun's growing stares of confusion about the relationship between the two of you and Jaemin's change of behavior with you started to become too much.

You sat at your desk in your Potions class. Letting out a soft sigh preparing yourself for the project you be presenting alongside Jaemin. Your professor welcomed the rest of your classmates. You turned and saw Renjun on his sitting at a few desks in front of you. You looked away feeling someone sit beside you. Thankfully Yeji had taken the stool next to you.

"I hope everyone is ready to present their Amortentia," he said with a smile. Most students still wore the early morning on their faces. The professor huffed defeated by the low sounds of enthusiasm. "Okay. Let us begin with the first pairing," he spoke pulling out his list of names.

"Ah! Nathaniel and Elenia. You two are first," he spoke smiling in his eyes. The two stood up hand and hand walking to the black cauldron. The two successfully performed, receiving a few claps from the students. "Well done!" he cheered the pair. "Now what do you smell?" he asked them.

Their presentation felt distant to you. You played with the end of your textbook peeling the fabric of the stitches on the old cover. Your head in your chin lips pouting. "Y/n," Yeri called just above a whisper. You hummed at her. "Jaemin is here," she said. You shrugged, "He's late," you responded. Yeri paused for a moment. "I thought you two were together?" she asked. You shook your head. "We're not. I'm not sure what we are," you said back glancing at Jaemin before looking away.

Yeri couldn't deny how she felt about Jaemin. She disliked him just as much as you did. It didn't matter that the two were cousins. Once he got here he had changed completely. Acting as if he didn't even know her. At some point she found you, seeing you had gone through something similar with Jeno.

"Jeno and Samantha," your professor called. You and Yeri both looked up at Samantha walking just a bit ahead of Jeno. A wide smile on her face. Yeri sneered at Samantha who was a few more happy steps from skipping to the table. Jeno walked behind her looking the exact opposite. Unable to match Samantha's excitement and instead miserably walked his way to the table.

They performed the spell. Samantha stepped to smell the Amortentia. She pushed her hair back. Closing her eyes and leaning forward the green aroma passed her cheeks. She inhaled a hum leaving her lips. A smile crept on her lips.

"What do you smell?" the professor asked her softly. She took a moment smelling the caldron again.

"I smell fresh grass, sweat, and wooden chips like one off a broom," she spoke dreamly. It had caught the attention of a few who recognized the last description of the scent she smelled. Even catching Jeno's. Yeri placed a hand on your shoulder seeing the widened eyes on your face. You looked over at her who remained frowning at the sight.

Samantha reopened her eyes and the professor smiled. "Well done. Now you Jeno," he ushered. Jeno snapped out of his thoughts. He walked over to the table, and Samantha stepped aside. He leaned close to the cauldron-like he knew what he'd smell.

"What do you smell?" he asked. Jeno sighed debating whether or not to share. He looked over at you. Seeing you sitting there watching like everyone else. He chewed his lip nervously.

He sighed "I smell," he began. This would be the perfect time to tell you everything. Everything he wanted to say last night. Everything he had been waiting to say to you. This would be his chance to get you back. He could feel the hope that slowly filled in his chest mask the nerves. Until he turned around to see Jaemin staring in your direction. The sight made his nails flick against his other fingers.

He huffed. "I smell," he began. "I smell sweet Jasmine shampoo," he said quickly. Samthna almost fell to the ground from happiness. That was her exact shampoo scent. He stepped away from the table glaring at Jaemin who remained just as confused as you. Yeji also looked confused. Then when she looked over at Samantha who had to fan herself back to Earth it clicked in your and her brain that Jeno had just confessed his love to Samantha.

Yeri turned to glare at Jeno but was met with Jeno staring hard at you. You kept your back turned, not sparing him a glance. Yeri turned away looking over at you. The professor hadn't noticed the tension rising between Jeno and You. Yeji and Jaemin could feel the tense energy that rose.

Once class ended you rushed out of the classroom and Renjun who watched from the back saw this as his chance to stand. He found you outside in the courtyard alone by a tree. You sat there attempting to read a book.

Renjun made his way to you placing his bag on the trunk of the tree. You barely looked at him. Renjun sat beside you on the grass. His eyes squinted from the afternoon sun. Gentle breeze brushing some of his hair back. He fixed his glasses as he looked down at your book. He smiled softly.

"What are you reading?" he asked. You folded the corner page. "I'm trying to read Emma. It was one of my favorite books and now I can barely focus on the first few chapters," you said closing the book. You let out a breath trying to calm your rising emotions. The scene of him confessing replays in your head like a broken record. You tried to escape in your story to distract yourself from the fresh memory but found the Amortentia spell the most distracting.

"Renjun why did he lie?" you asked. You had never talked to Renjun before about your love life. No one ever had. He felt a bit caught off guard. Normally any other man who would hear the women he slept with asking about another man would surely weird them out. But Renjun had realized he was beginning to adore you as his friend. He didn't wish to ruin such a beautiful relationship. And since you needed your friend that was exactly what he'd be.

"How do you know he lied?" he asked. Making sure you weren't just coming to such conclusions because you were upset. He didn't want to mention it but this was the same man who stood you up at the Yule ball. You shook your head. The thought of Jeno lying made the anger and frustration in you continue to foam together. After all this time he still couldn't be honest.

"I know him very well. Something pissed him off," you said proving how much you understood Jeno. Renjun sighed shifting the leg that he sat on to the other. "Maybe he is shy," he suggested. But you shook your head your book falling onto the grass. "Jeno is not shy. He is many things but shy is not one of them. Normally he is very bold," you said confidently.

"Then I assume he is just scared," Renjun attempted at another conclusion. One that made sense to you. You nodded, "I assumed the same thing. I just don't know what he could be scared of," you said. Renjun raised a brow.

He chuckled. "Forgive me Y/n but you had not been very approachable," he said. You frowned, "How am I not approachable?" you asked biting back a smile. Renjun looked at you up and down with a scoff. "Maybe to the other students here, yes you are approachable, but picture Jeno right now. Every time he has made some sort of effort to talk to you. You shot him down. If you want an answer to your question you have to talk to him," He said.

You sneered at his truths. "I hate that you are right," You said picking up your book. You stood up from the grass Renjun following. He dusted himself off watching as you placed your book away. "I am always right," he said with a smirk.

"Tell me again why am I your friend?" you joked. Renjun just chuckled as the two of you walked off to meet Yeji for the Quidditch match.

“This is gonna be a fair game. I don’t want to see any foul moves,” the referee spoke eyeing Jaemin. Jaemin held his hands up in defense. “It’s not my fault I get bored,” he retort. The referee rolled her eyes looking away from the boy.

Jeno gripped tightly onto his brown stick glaring at Jaemin. Jaemin hadn’t even noticed Jeno until he happened to be in his line of sight. When the two made eye contact Jeno clenched his jaw.

Jaemin smirked at him flying his way. He raised a brow. “Jeno I know I am handsome but must you stare at me all day? First Potions and now during a Quidditch match?” He chuckled head falling back in that annoying asshole way. The two Slytherin boys next to him laughed.

Jeno huffed angrily. If there weren’t an arena of people watching he’d punch Jaemin so hard off his brown he’d hit straight to the ground. “Am I distracting you?” Jaemin asked dark gleam in his eyes.

“Nothing that you do matters to me Jaemin. You’re just an obstacle in my way. Once someone knocks you off your high horse you will soon realize that no one cares what you do,” Jeno mocked. Jaemin chuckled sneering at the captain. Jeno felt proud for a moment. But Jaemin never being able to keep shut had to get the last laugh.

“Nothing I do may matter,” he tilted his head a bit motioning to the side. Unbothered by Jeno’s insults.

“But maybe what she does well,” he taunted. Jeno turned following the line Jaemin formed with his eyes that pointed straight to you. There you were sitting between Renjun and Yeji. Chatting with them and every so often glancing over sending heart eyes to Jaemin. It made his stomach turn seeing that out of all the male students at this school you chose Jaemin.

“You see,” he began. Jeno turned his head back to him. “She’s here because I invited her. She told me about the chat you two shared last night. You do have a way with words,” he spoke softly to Jeno. It made his inside rise in flames. He gritted his teeth as he spoke. Jaemin who remained calm was secretly enjoying every minute of this interaction. Seeing Jeno’s eyebrows twist and lip snarl at him like an angry dog made today’s match so much more worth showing up.

“Let’s see how well you play today,” he derisive. He flew back to his side along with his friends to begin the game. Jeno tried his best to not let Jaemin get to him. But the truth couldn’t leave his mind. You were here for Jaemin not for him. You were supporting him. You were spending time with him.

Jeno decided he wouldn’t let Jaemin off that easily. He knew beating him in a Quidditch match would mean absolutely nothing to Jaemin. Jaemin was only on the team because his father forced him to. Jaemin couldn’t care less if he won or lost.

He needed to get you back. He just didn’t know how.

To no one’s surprise, the Gryffindor team had won. All the Gryffindor students cheered celebrating another victory. Jeno and his team walk through the crowd collecting high-fives and congratulations. He smiled brightly as he made his way through the crowd. The winning glow was evident on his face.

Once he finally exited he walked into his tent to change. He was halfway changing when he heard someone call for him outside. He could see the shadow of a girl. Probably Samantha he thought with a small frown. He walked over opening the tent only to be met with you.

Stunned would be a lazy way to describe the look on his face to see you standing there. While he remained holding the tent opening back standing in nothing but slacks and a pair of sneakers. His torso is exposed to you and glistening in the sunlight. Water droplets from his hair hit the grass. A few droplets even glided down his chest. Sliding straight down his abs. Few even resting in the waistline of his slacks. You almost covered your eyes but your hands didn’t let you.

The words “I’m sorry” barely fell from your lips as you stole another peak from his chiseled frame. You cursed at yourself. Jeno feeling a little shy scratched the back of his head hair slightly bouncing. You cleared your throat trying to keep your cool. The two years apart treated him well you thought.

“Y/n,” he began. “I didn’t know you’d stop by,” he spoke keeping his eyes on you. You were making every attempt to avert from his gaze and nodded. “I didn’t either. I was looking for,”

“Jaemin?” He questioned. You nodded slowly eyes hesitantly scanning down for a moment before quickly looking away. For some reason, you felt nervous around Jeno. The sound of students running past distracted you for a brief second before Jeno spoke. “Would you like to come in?” He asked. You felt the dryness in your throat. The best you could answer him back with was with a nod.

He moved to the side allowing you to step in. You looked around the tent. You had always seen it but had never been inside of it before. You looked around the large tent which from the outside was deceivingly small. While you looked around Jeno pulled a shirt over his frame. A few strands of hair stuck to his forehead.

You turned to Jeno. “This is very large compared to the outside,” you observed. He nodded hands in his pockets. “It is a simple spell. Taught by someone I know well,” he spoke small smile on his lips. You knew he was talking about you. You hid your smile turning to look around at the stuff he had. A few broomsticks and medals from past sports he played.

You walked over to a small table in the middle of the tent. On it were a few books and crumbled papers. But something was peaking underneath a Spells textbook. You picked it up. Lifting it to get the picture underneath. It was a photo of both you and Jeno. From your first year here when he tried out for the Quidditch team. You smiled fond of the memory. Jeno was so nervous. You had to talk him out of the bathroom stall, for him to almost miss tryouts.

Jeno leaned over your shoulder looking down at the photo too. “I remember that day,” he spoke fondly of the memory. “I was so nervous I felt like I was going to throw up,” he remembered laughing a bit. You motioned him watching the way his eyes formed crescents. Your chuckles died down. It was a beautiful time but that was the past. Your smile fell and you placed the photo back down.

“I should,” you cleared your throat. “I should probably get going,” you said moving past him. He looked away from the photo and at you concerned for the next time he’d see you. He followed you to the opening of the tent. “Must you leave so soon?” He asked. You sighed wishing he’d let you go. “Yes,” you said trying to leave but Jeno didn’t let you. It would be better for you if you left.

“Why?” He asked. “I thought we were sharing a moment,” he hinted at a small smile on his lips. You shook your head letting out a huff. “I’m sorry if I give you the wrong impression Jeno. I didn’t mean to come in and touch your things. I am sorry for that,” you apologized. You sounded completely robotic. The tone and words coming from your lips are so foreign.

Everything in the room was yours so long as it was his. The tent was yours, the photo, the book, and even himself. He let out a defeated sigh. There was nothing left for him to say or do. So instead he let his frustration show.

“I do not know how else to please you,” he spoke making you pause. “Please me?” You questioned. His hands rose frantically as he walked away from you too upset to even bother to ask you to stay. You wanted to follow by you stood at the opening. That was what was best for you, you thought.

He nodded holding the photo of the two of you in his hands. He stared longly at the picture. "Why did you come in here?" he asked. Taken back by his question you swallowed thickly. "Because you invited me in"

He shook his head. His sudden change of tone made you feel small. His back tenses underneath his shirt. He turned to you confusion in his eyes. "That is not why and you know it," he stated. Your eyes were wide. Similar look to a child who had gotten caught stealing candy.

"I don't know," you responded. "I guess I just wanted to," you said quietly.

"But why?" he asked. You huffed hand falling in frustration. "Y/n," Jeno called to you as you walked towards the tent opening. Your hand swung to open the tent. Only to be confronted by Samnatha. She was just about to walk inside. The wide smile on her lips until she saw you. Stunned her smile fell. She cleared her throat lips pursing. Her head fell a bit.

You turned to him ushering to Samantha. "This is why," you said a shudder leaving your lips as you walked away. Leaving Jeno standing there alone just as confused as he was last night.

You marched down the grass quickly searching for a way out of this field. You had thankfully found Yeri talking with Renjun by the exit back into the school. You walked over to the two of them greeting them with smiles.

"Y/n are you alright?" Yeri asked. You nodded gently touching your face. It was warm, and a bit sweaty. "I'm fine," you hushed. Yeri not convinced but not wanting to push you just nodded a small frown on her lips. Renjun sent a concerned glance to Yeri who shrugged. Renjun assumed it had something to do with Jaemin.

Days had passed since you last spoke with Jeno. It seemed Jeno tried his best to avoid you at all costs. At first, it confused you. He had tried so hard to get your attention. Now the same boy was leaving rooms when you entered, or turning his back to look away from you.

Yeri had noticed the energy shift the same way you had felt it. You decided to not put your mind to it. But it was hard. If Jeno wanted to fix things between the two of you then why did he lie? Why was he avoiding you? It hurt to know that the same boy you once called your best friend. The boy whose shoulder you cried on when Jaehyun left. The boy who fought Jaemin more times than you can count because he teased you. Was treating you as if he didn't even know you.

It made you feel like shit.

You wanted to ignore it. It was easy to ignore him. It was hard to ignore your feelings. Which made it difficult to hide the emotions on your face in the rare moments he did look your way. But the much-needed Holiday vacation would be the best distraction from Jeno. You had said goodbye to Yeri and Renjun when you reached the station. Watching as Yeri ran to her mother. Seeing, who you could only assume was Jaemin's mother, standing next to her.

Yeri came to your side. She wrapped her arm around yours. "I want you to meet my mom," she smiled. She walked you over and introduced you. Jaemin came to your side introducing you to his mother as well. You were very surprised to see such a difference between him and his mother. She was so kind. And Jaemin was Jaemin.

You made your way to your parents after wishing the pair a Happy Holidays. Your parents both waiting for you with open arms.

"I want to know everything," your mother said flopping onto your bed. You rolled your ears playing with the ears of your old stuffed bunny. She chuckled waiting for you to tell her all about your time spent away. Your head fell back shutting your eyes for a moment. You whined, "Do I have to tell you everything?" you asked. She nodded, "Yes. Unless it's something I don't want to know," she joked.

You opened your eyes and saw she was still staring at you. Waiting for you to talk. You huffed, "Fine," you said letting out a sigh.

You told your mom about your studies. Time spent with Yeri. You told her you and Renjun worked out your differences. You told her Jaemin wasn't bothering you much anymore. Leaving out the parts where you hooked up with them.

Your mother noticed quickly when your energy shifted. The smile on your lips fading. There was something you weren't telling her. She decided to ask to see if her theories were true.

"And Jeno? This is a big year for you guys. Are you still not friends with one another?" she asked. You sighed placing the bunny to the side. You shrugged pulling at the loose stitches on your bed sheet.

"No," you responded. Your mother kept her bottom lip between her teeth listening to you closely. "He doesn't talk to me anymore after he confessed his love to Samantha in front of the whole class," your words dying down quietly. She widened her eyes confused. She shook her head. "Wait. I thought he liked you," she said in the form of a question.

You sighed, "I thought so too," you responded. Your mom paused watching you.

"Do you like him Y/n?" she asked. You shrugged. "I'm not sure," you said back. "Then why does it bother you so much? This Samantha girl," she asked. "Because I thought I liked him. Last year I did. But," your words faded.

"But?" she asked.

You let out a breath wishing you could avoid this question. Your mom waiting for you to finish. "I got close with Renjun," you confessed. She sat back a bit. "But didn't you two no get along? I mean I know you fixed it but already?" she asked. You shook your head. Trying to figure out where everything changed. You were just as confused as her. "We're friends. He's a nice guy," you said. She nodded, "Okay," she responded.

You bit your lip. Your mom watched you. "Y/n?" she questioned a nervous look in your eyes. "Is there something else?" she asked. You nodded.

"What?" she asked. "I like Jaemin too," you confessed. Her jaw dropped. She sat back surprised. "Jaemin? I can understand Renjun. But Jaemin? Doesn't Jeno hate him? Don't you hate him?" she asked trying to figure this entire situation out. "How did this even happen?" she asked. "He was there when I needed someone. He knew the right things to say," you said pleading your case a bit embarrassed by having to say this all out loud.

She blinked a few times. "That's it?" she asked. "Don't judge me," you said back. She nodded, "I'm sorry," she said placing a hand on her chest. "Forgive me. I'm just trying to figure this out," she said.

"Me too," you said letting out a tired sigh. You flopped back on your bed. Head landing on your pillow. Your mom rubbed your arm gently. She sent you a half smile. She worried for you but she knew something like this you'd figure out. She's always known how smart you are.

While spending time at home your parents let you work at the Flower Shop to earn extra cash. Christmas was a busy time of year for your family's shop. Many men come in to buy flowers to propose to their girlfriends on Christmas. Poinsettias were your most popular flower, especially with all the Holiday dinners and parties many people were hosting.

You smiled as you finished wrapping a bundle of Hellebore. You handed it to the young man. He thanked you and left. Once he stepped out of the shop you heard the bell above ring twice. Looking up you saw the familiar face you had seen through most of your life. Jeno's mom stepped into the flower shop holding her purse close to her. She admired the flowers as she stepped inside. Her observing eyes met yours. She smiled walking over to you.

"Y/n hello," she greeted. You smiled at her standing behind the wooden counter. "It's good to see you," she said excited smile on her lips. You nodded in agreement. "Likewise," you responded. "How's school?" she asked. You sighed trying not to think too hard of an answer. "It's good. Sad it's ending," you slightly frowned. She chuckled lightly. "I would be sad too if I attended a school for wizards," she responded.

There was a slight pause before she spoke again. "How's Jeno been doing?" she asked curiously. "He doesn't tell me much," she said a hint of sadness in her tone. You weren't sure how to answer her. You tapped your finger on the counter. "I'm not too sure. We don't speak much anymore," you said back. Her lips scrunched to the side as he nodded. "Yeah, that's unfortunate. You guys we're close. I enjoyed seeing him happy," she said with a smile. You could see the change in her face. Her mind brings her back to the fond memories of you and Jeno together.

"He's still being an ass isn't he?" she asked. Taken back by her description of her son you didn't respond. She brushed it off. She shrugged. "Is he?" she asked. You decided to just nod. She pursed her lips shaking her head. She rested her arm on the counter loosening the grip on her purse.

"What am I gonna do that boy?" she questioned out loud the billing dinging as she finished. Jeno walked inside dressed in dark jeans and a black jacket wearing a hoodie over his head. He walked in acting as if the two of you didn't create chaos in this shop. You shifted your weight over to the register trying to distract yourself. Jeno's mom turned at your sudden change of attitude seeing her son walk inside and towards her.

"Jeno," she said a bit surprised. "I thought I told you to wait inside the car," she responded. He shrugged, "You were taking too long. I came to see what was wrong," he said eyes briefly meeting your frame. You scoffed grabbing both their attention. His mother didn't react much to you. Understanding why you grew quickly annoyed. He was being an ass, again.

"Problem?" he questioned. You huffed, "No," you responded trying to keep your control. "Doesn't seem like it," he argued back. You poked the inside of your mouth with your tongue shutting your eyes for a moment. "There's no issue," you said back. He shoved his hands in his pockets. "Then I don't know why you sound like there is," he said back. His arm hit him in the arm to stop but he didn't.

"I'm not Jaemin, Jeno. Your poor attempt of coming in here and getting me to react is not going to work," you said opening the register and counting the money inside before you closed it back up. His mom looked over at him. Now annoyed with him as well for embarrassing her and himself. She tugged at his arm to leave but he remained still. "Jeno come on," she said pulling a bit harsher. He didn't budge he just stood there staring.

"I bet you'd like for him to be here," he said back. You kept your focus on tending the flowers behind you. Your back now facing him.

"You know he doesn't like you right?" he said a chuckle leaving his lips. "What's it to you if he likes me or not? You are in love with Samnatha. Remember?" you asked. Jeno huffed lips forming a tight line. Your back was still facing him but you knew the effect your words had on him. He gritted his teeth. His mom was not watching the two of you, trying to pull Jeno away. She knew the two of you were moments away from saying something to destroying the last saving bits of your relationship.

"You're right. I don't care whether Jaemin likes you are not. I could care less," he said back. "So then why are you still talking about it like you do?" you asked throwing everything back in his face which he was tired of.

"I don't," he said back. "Sounds like you do," you argued back. The two of you bickering like children.

"Enough!" his mom shouted. She grabbed Jeno's arm this time successful in moving him away. "I'm sorry Y/n. Well see you at the Party," she said as she left. When the door shut you felt bad. You genuinely liked his mom. It felt embarrassing to argue in front of her. To show her that side of yourself.

Once the guilt faded the pit in your stomach of the party tomorrow remained.

"Why me?" you asked out loud frustratedly.

The few days you spent in your home city were filled with family, celebrating the Holidays, and more unfortunate and irritating interactions with Jeno. It didn't help Jeno lives across the street from you. You could see him on your way to the flower shop every morning. Shoveling snow off his front yard. He'd look up in your direction. Adjusting his hat that fell over his eyes. Watching as you entered your parent's car. Place your coffee inside first before you sit down.

He watched you wipe off the side of your window and then start the car. You pulled out of the driveway driving away from your house and to the flower shop. Jeno scrunched his nose and upper lip turning up as he turned away. He dug the shovel hard into the snow. His cheeks were bright red from the cold. He shivered cool air leaving his lips. He went back inside once he finished.

Stepping into his empty house he removed his shoes. Placing his coat on the rack by the door and leaving his sweater on. He stepped towards the kitchen to make something to eat when he found something on his kitchen table. He walked over to it finding a folded piece of paper laying, folded with his name written on the front. A hellebore flower lying on top. He picked up the flower. Turned it in his fingers. He smiled for a moment.

This was one of your favorite flowers. He knew everything he could know about this very flower because of you. The memory soon faded from his mind when he remembered a note was still waiting for him on the table. He picked it up gently placing the flower down.

He opened the note reading the few lines written down.

Meet me at the Flower Shop.

There are things we have to discuss.

He held the letter in his hand. Frown forming on his lips. He wanted to meet you but he had just confessed to Samantha. A false confession but still he couldn't do that to her. He held the letter in his hand a painful feeling in his heart. He crumbled the note. Tossing it away. He would go to see you but only to end your relationship for good.

When he walked into the Flower Shop you and another worker both looked up at the door at the sound of the bell. Seeing it was Jeno you sneered turning back to your phone hoping he’d go away. But he didn’t. He walked to the register waiting for you to look at him. You could see him. Moving your eyes up but not your head. When he remained just standing there tapping his fingers on the wooden table you sighed.

You put your phone in your green apron giving Jeno a fake smile. “How can I help you?” You asked him. His fingers stopped tapping. Coming together to make a small fist. “I need to talk to you,” he said lips forming a thin line. You shrugged, “Too bad. I’m busy,” you responded.

He huffed shaking his head annoyed. “I’m serious,” he said but you ignored him. Hoping an actual customer would walk in. His fist unfolded. He sighed deeply his nostrils flaring. You ignored him. “Y/n I got your note this morning,” he said hoping a calmer approach would get you to talk.

You raised a brow looking over at him. “What note?” You asked. Jeno scoffed, “Don’t act confused. I know you wrote it,” he said sure of himself. You shook your head. Jeno now growing quickly frustrated with you brought his fingers to his temples. Why were acting so lost? It was clear the note was from you.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” He asked the tiredness in his tone. “Because I have no clue where you’re talking about,” you responded now leaving the register. You picked up a watering pot walking over to a few flowers. Jeno followed behind you.

Your coworker quickly left to attend to the flowers in the back.

“Let me make it simple then. You wrote a note. Then somehow left it on my kitchen table. Simple,” he said fake tone and smile on his lips. They both feel quickly.

“And let me make this simple for you. I didn’t write the note,” you said back almost slamming the watering pot down. You placed a hand on your hip annoyed. “Now leave. If you stay here any longer you’ll scare off the customers,” you said turning away to attend to a few more flowers.

“Then who wrote the note? Because I have a hard time believing it wasn’t you,” he continued. Your head fell back growing tired of him chasing you around like this. “Jeno I already told you it wasn’t me,” you said back. You’re back facing him. You turned to walk away again.

“There was a Hellebore beside it,” he said eyes watching you closely to see if you’d finally slip. He watched as you shook your head. “I’m telling you Jeno it wasn’t me,” you responded now confused. Who would write a letter from you to him? You tried your best to think about the situation. Unlike Jeno who still sat there waiting for some confession.

“A Hellebore?” You questioned out loud. He nodded. You focused zoning in on a few Hellebore’s in the shop. You tried to put some of the pieces together. Your mind led you to yesterday. Yesterday you had a few customers. None of them picked up hellebores except Jeno’s mother.

You sighed looking down. Jeno thought you were finally gonna confess. You turned around as he waited arms resting over his chest. “You remember when we were eight and we got into that fight by the pond? The one in the park where our parents had that picnic so my mom could watch the Tulips bloom,” you asked. Jeno only nodded in response.

“Remember how we didn’t want to talk to each other afterward so your mom told me you were waiting for me by the slide? Then she told you I was waiting by the slide as well?” You asked hoping he’d start to realize where you were going with this. You waited for a moment giving him time to process. Then his eyes changed. The realization on his face. He poked the inside of his cheek. He shook his head.

“I can’t believe my mom did it again,” he said with a chuckle. You chuckled too both of you smiling. If anyone else saw you’d look close. For you two this moment felt normal. Even if he was chuckling out of anger. You had missed the sound of his laugh.

“Me either,” you said back small smile on your lips. The laughter between the two of you died down. Replaced with a similar tension as before. Your eyes met Jeno’s. His eyes wandered. Looking everywhere but yours.

“I’m sorry about that,” he said. His hands dug into his pockets. His black boot gently kicked the wooden flower. A few leaves on the ground kicked away from the air of his boot. “I shouldn’t have barged in here and accused you. I should have known it wasn’t you,” he said the guilt in his tone.

You sighed shaking your head. “You couldn’t have known. What did the note say?” You asked. Jeno looked up at you. Not all the way. He just picked his head up a bit. “It said to come here. That we had things to discuss,” he summarized.

You nodded. “So,” you started. Your hands fiddled around the watering pot in your hands. “Do we have things to discuss?” You asked. Jeno swallowed shaking his head. “No. Not that I know of,” he said. He inhaled sharply exhaling as he turned to leave. You followed behind him placing the pot down. “Jeno,” you called. He sighed back facing you.

“Y/n please,” he spoke quietly.

You stood there eyes facing his back. You were tired of running away from your problems. Jeno was here now and even if you weren’t going to get answers you liked. You had to confront him. Now was your chance. “Jeno,” you called again. He sighed back muscles tensing up. He refused to turn to you. It hurt you but you brushed it off. Telling yourself it’s only because he didn’t want to face the truth.

“Jeno you can’t keep walking away. Especially not upset. Not when you’re prone to stupidity,” you said causing him to scoff. “What is that supposed to mean?” He asked. You shook your head. Tongue poking the inside of your mouth. “Not important. What’s important is we talk about everything that’s been going on. The way you’ve been acting with me,” you said. Jeno continued to focus his anger on you. You could feel the tension rise the more Jeno tried to pull away.

“Look there you go again,” you waved your hand.

“Shutting me out like you always do. A couple of weeks ago you would have begged me to talk to you. Now I’m standing here telling you I’m ready to talk and you just want to walk away,” you argued.

“Well, I’m prone to stupidity, right? Isn’t that what you think?” He asked still hurt by your comment.

“Well you haven’t done a good job at proving me wrong,” you spat back. There it was again. The back and forth. You two would never get anywhere if you continued to fight like children. Fighting to avoid talking about the issues was better for Jeno. It meant he wouldn’t have to own up to what he did. You weren’t having any of it. You weren’t going to apologize for anything. Not until Jeno straightened himself out and dealt with the issues at hand.

“Oh really? How have I done that?” He asked now turning to argue better with you. It was easier to look at you when he was pissed. He didn’t have to focus on the small details of your face. He couldn’t act like you weren’t even there. Like he was arguing by himself. Until you respond. He wouldn’t admit it but a part of him liked it when you argued back with him. For the same two reasons. One it meant he got under your skin and two it meant he got to hear your voice.

“I don’t know. Maybe when you told Samantha you were in love with her,” you spat like venom. Jeno froze but only for a moment. “I didn’t tell her I was in love with her,” he huffed out. The level of his volume is rising. “So describing to the class what she smells like after smelling a potion that makes you smell the scent of what or who you love isn’t a confession. Jeno do you think that I am stupid?” You questioned now irritated beyond return.

“I mean how could you sit here and lie to my face? Act as if you have done nothing wrong,” you said voice cracking a bit. You could feel the pit in your stomach form an uncomfortable knot. Jeno bit his cheeks. He was just as upset as you. His fist balled together, knuckles a bright shade of white.

“Why does it even matter?” He asked.

“It matters to me,” you spoke back stepping closer. “Why?” He raised his voice a bit. The both of you getting louder. Your coworker even flinched at the sound of Jeno’s voice.

“Why does it matter to you who I love?!” He asked yelling.

“It just matters!” You shouted back feeling the heat in your face rise.

“Well, it shouldn’t!” He shouted back turning away and knocking down a flower pot. You both ignored it. He walked outside in the snow. The snow coming down hard. You followed dressed in jeans and an apron. Jeno took one look at you and ushered you away.

“Y/n get back inside,” he spoke trying to back you to the door. You shook your head crossing your arms over your chest. You could feel the snow on top of your boots. The cold winter wind hitting your cheeks. You shuddered air leaving your lips. You ignored it. Tears from the strong breeze appeared in the corner of your eyes.

“Y/n get back inside!” Jeno shouted over the wind. You two were the only ones on the street. The rising blizzard keeping everyone at home. You shook your head. “No. Not until you tell me why,” you stood there stubbornly. He huffed kicking the snow. The air left his lips.

“Go inside!” He yelled frustratingly. As the temperature dropped he became more and more worried for you. And your stubbornness was pissing him off even more.

“I’ll go in once you answer the question!” You shouted back. The cold air started to hit your cheek. It hurt but you didn’t move. Jeno huffed angrily kicking some more snow. He marched his way over to you grabbing onto your shoulders. He tried to move you but you held your ground.

“All this just to avoid a question!” You yelled at him. He continued but you fought against him. “Y/n just fucking go inside,” he cursed lips a bright red followed by his cheeks. Your lips formed a tight line as you used all your strengths to fight against him. “I won’t,” you responded. He let go of you causing you to move forward a bit. He put his hands up.

“Fine. Stay out. I don’t care,” he said as he started walking away.

“Coward!” You shouted at him. He stopped in his tracks. He turned to you now even more pissed. Coward? A coward for what? Letting you go inside? Leaving you alone. Isn’t that what you have always wanted? He was giving you what you wanted. What he needed if he was ever going to try and live a normal life without you.

“What?” He asked now closer to your face.

“You heard me. You’re a coward,” you said back looking him dead in his eyes. “If I’m a coward so are you,” he said back gritting his teeth. Your arms found their way over your chest. More of an attempt to keep you warm than holding your guard. “How so?” You asked him a bit of sarcasm in your tone.

“First you get close to Renjun avoiding me. Then Jaemin? How many more guys are you going to befriend before they all lead you right back to me?” He asked. Now he was being a dick just to piss you off. You scoffed. He hoped that would make you go inside. But instead, he was met with your hand flying across his cheek before you walked away. Now he had to follow you in.

The bell dinged and then it dinged again when Jeno came in. Your entire body was shuddering. Your teeth with chattering as you walked behind the register. Your whole body felt ice cold when Jeno tried to reach behind you and touch your shoulder. You reached up for your sweater. Slipping it through your arms and wrapping it around your body.

“You can go,” you said to Jeno nasty tone in your voice. Jeno had no time to process the slap. He knew he crossed the line, again. “Y/n I…” he started but you ignored him. You reached for a tea bag placing it in a mug. You held the mug walking to the sink. You filled it with water and headed to the back where your coworker was. You looked over at him.

“Go home for the rest of the day. There’s a blizzard, I’ll close,” you said. He stood up quickly grabbed his belongings and left. You used your wand hidden in your sleeve to close the doors.

“We’re not allowed to use magic,” he began. You walked over to the microwave placing the mug inside. “Yes, we are. You have to be seventeen. You and I are older than that,” you said back placing the microwave to a minute. “I just can’t do magic when John is here,” you said watching the numbers go down. You looked over at Jeno who was still standing there.

“Goodbye,” you said annoyed on your face. He sighed moving closer to you. You back up a bit. He picked up a blanket and lay on the couch nearby. He walked over to you placing it over your shoulders. You shook your head walking over to the couch and sitting down. “This doesn’t change anything,” you said. He nodded sitting beside you.

“I know. But I’m sorry,” he said. You huffed turning away. “I should have gone back inside,” you said after a few moments of silence. He looked over at you. He went to speak but the microwave went off. He got up before you did bringing you the hot tea. He placed it on the table in front of you. You picked it up. The steam lightly hits your face. The warmth felt good.

“I shouldn’t have followed you out,” you said.

“But you did,” he said back. “I would have followed you too” following up. You shook your head. “Would you? I mean this whole time you’ve been acting like I don’t even exist,” you said a hint of sadness in your voice. “Am I that bad?” You asked feeling all the hidden emotions start to come out in and out of you.

He shook his head turning to you. “No no. It’s me,” he said lightly hitting his chest. “I’m the reason you’re freezing right now. I’m the reason why you’re hurting. I’m sorry,” he apologized again. You sipped your tea before you placed it back down.

“Is it easier to apologize for that?” You asked. Jeno raised a brow. He didn’t understand where you were going with this. “I’m not following,” he said.

“It is easier to apologize for being a bad friend when you know deep down there’s something else you want to say?” You asked. You turned more to him. “Because Jeno this goes beyond being a bad friend. You lied to me. Not just by confessing to Samantha but back at the Yule ball when you were with her,” you said all the same feelings you felt that night coming back. Jeno’s eyes widened a bit but he continued to listen.

“You’re right. It doesn’t matter who you date because we’re not together but, you treated me like I meant more to you than your friend. You made me believe that to you I was special,” you said.

“You are special to me,” he tried to say but you didn’t let him. “Not in that way. Not in the way I wanted to be. I liked you Jeno. There were times when you were all I could think about. Will he notice the pin on my cloak today? Will he compliment the new spell I learn? Will he be at the party tonight? How will he look? Will he think I’m beautiful? My heart burned for you Jeno and you put out the flames the minute you kissed Samantha,” you said tears now falling from your eyes.

Jeno felt terrible. It felt at this moment he didn’t describe you, not even to see you cry. Even if you forgave him he didn’t deserve to be your friend. He had disrespected you and it hurt him. His whole life with you was spent protecting you from all the assholes in the world and here was, just like Renjun and just like Jaemin.

“I’m not in love with Samantha,” he said almost whispering it if he spoke any lower. You tilted your head. “I know,” you said. He sent you a half smile. Now his eyes turn a bit red. A pink shade formed on his cheeks. “That’s part of the reason why we’re here,” you said back. His sad eyes looked at you waiting for you to continue.

“Before Samantha, you had an entirely new friend group which was fine. I wanted you to find people who enjoyed the same things as you. I know I’m into Quidditch like you. I wasn’t even into football when we were younger and you played,” you smiled a bit at the memories. The curve of your lips started to fall and quiver.

“But then they replaced me. They replaced us. You stopped caring. You didn’t come to my matches anymore. So I stopped going to your games. You’d ditch me in the garden to go to some party every time. And I never said anything because I wanted you to have fun. But then you stopped coming,” you said the words finally leaving your mouth. You licked your lips a taste of salt on your tongue.

“Then you asked me to the dance,” you smiled a bit feeling yourself get upset again. “I was so excited. I asked Yeri to help me find a dress. She helped with my hair and makeup. I felt so pretty. Then I saw you and my night was ruined. I just didn’t understand why. I think that’s what hurt,” you said a few more tears falling. You felt your heart squeeze in your chest.

“Knowing that it was so easy for you to hurt me. When even now,” your hands fell slapping your thigh. “It hurts me to see you upset,” you confessed. Jeno took a moment to think about everything you said. He couldn’t stop his tears from falling. He felt like such an asshole. He wanted nothing more than to hold you. Tell you he’s sorry as many times as he could until you forgave him. He wanted to go back and time and change what he did. But he couldn’t.

He looked at you again. Seeing the pain all over your frame. The sniffles that left you and your hand squeezed your apron. Your knuckles are a bright white. He chewed on his lips. He couldn’t forgive himself for hurting his best friend.

“I’m sorry Y/n. There is no excuse for what I did. My friends were teasing me about taking you instead of Samantha and like an asshole I listened. I should have taken you. I shouldn’t have listened to them. I will forever be sorry for that. I’ll say it as many times as you need to hear it. I’m sorry for being such a terrible friend. I’m sorry I didn’t treat you the way you deserved. I should have been a better friend to you,” he said hand reaching out to touch yours. The warmth of his hand made you flinch a bit before you relaxed into his touch.

“I should have loved you like you loved me,” he said causing you to look up into his eyes. His face is inches away from yours and red. “Y/n,” he spoke looking deeply into your eyes.

“I’m in love with you,” he confessed.

You felt a huge weight rest on your chest. More tears formed in your eyes. Your lip quivered. Your eyebrows furrowed and your eyes fell heavy. Your chest filled with heat. You felt all the pain and heartache resurface.

“Jeno,” you spoke. You could see the hope swimming around in his eyes. His hand let go of yours. He wore a gentle smile on his lips. He looked as if he knew what you were going to say. So he leaned in close closing the gap between the two of you and placing his lips on yours.

The kiss was soft. He gently placed his hand on your cheek pulling you close. Afraid if he'd let go you'd run away. When he pulled away the both of you sat there silently. The only sound is your shared breaths. Both of you looked each other in the eyes.

Jeno instantly pulled you back in a much more passionate kiss. He pulled you close to him. The blanket quickly slipped from your shoulders. His hands gripped the back of your head pulling you closer to him. You kissed back hand cupping his jaw and the other on his chest. Jeno was the one to pull back. Both of you panting. He shook his head sitting back.

It made you worry. He noticed the look on your face. Shaking his head he took your hands on his. He licked his lips. They still tasted like the tea you had drank. “I want too. I really do baby but not like this,” he said motioning to the break room of your parents flower shop. You nodded feeling a bit more relaxed. Jeno chuckled finger lightly grazing your cheek. He leaned back, shutting his eyes and placing a soft peck on your lips. He slowly pulled away eyes still a bit closed.

“What was that for?” You asked small laughter leaving your chest. He shrugged the pad of his thumb still resting on your chin. “Because it felt so good the first time,” he said.

He pulled back standing up. He raised his hand out to you. You looked up at him. You let the blanket fall and you took it. He lifted you off the couch.

“Let me take you home. We have to catch the train tomorrow,” he spoke softly as he walked you out. Hot tear stains on his cheeks. And voice shakey as he walked you out to his car slipping his coat onto you. Then he drove you home.

The car ride was silent. When the car reached your place he waited for a moment. He stopped tapping on the wheel. He looked over at you eyes glowing. “Want to take the train together tomorrow?” He asked. You nodded.

A smile formed on his lips. “Thank you for the ride. Goodnight Jeno,” you said. You turned to exit the car. Just as you were about to exit Jeno’s hand touched yours. You turned to him and he leaned forward placing his lips on yours. You kissed him back. He smiled into the kiss and you did the same. Hand reaching to graze his soft features.

He leaned his forehead against yours. A while ago you would have dreamed of this moment. And it was finally coming true. But when your hand fell from his face and you left the car. Watching as he parked it into his drive way. You could feel your heart swell. The notification that popped on your phone didn’t help either.

You took it out your pocket seeing a message from Jaemin, then Renjun.

Jaemin- Sit with me on the train? Darling.

Renjun- Would you like to sit beside me tomorrow?

Once you stepped inside your house. Closing the door and leaving the rest of the world behind you let out a breath. The rest of the school year was going to get a whole lot more stressful. Especially now when it’s obvious to you none of the guys are going to give up.

You just have to chose which one you want.

To Be Continued….

This felt like a right place to end. I really love this storyline but I can’t give to much before the final part. I’m excited and sad to see it end. I really enjoyed writing this small series and plan to do more Harry Potter stories in the future.

I want to make the next part a bit more interactive so stay tuned!

Until then see you soon;)

Tags: @kodasity @girlwholoveslpreppyattire

[johnslittlespoon]

DISBELIEF]: after the receiver has done something completely unexpected (and reckless) the stunned sender cups their face in their hands while trying to get them to explain why the hell they did it.

gale x john??? i loveeeeeee them

prompts | tysm for the prompt request!! turned it into a little rewrite of the escape scene in the finale :') ~800 words of emotional angst and comfort below the cut. <3

Gale hadn’t felt good about John being the last to join their small group in their escape, but he knew there was no way in hell John would let Gale be the last to go, so he’d reluctantly parted from him.

As soon as he’d heard a harsh shout only seconds after he stepped away, he knew he’d been right to feel apprehensive, fighting against the urge to run and pausing to look at John instead. His heart had lurched, watching as John seemed to freeze up, torn between running after Gale and running at the guard.

Gale had sworn under his breath and steeled all his nerves to lunge back toward John, grabbing his arm and giving him a harsh tug, a desperate plea of his name.

It had been enough to shake John out of whatever reckless self–sacrifice he’d been debating before the guard could get a clear shot through the sea of bodies in the alleyway, the two of them running arm–in–hand to the wall, with Gale far too scared to risk letting go of John until they were well over the barricade.

Now, grass blades whipping at their boots and the night blanketing them as they approach the forest line, bullets hitting dirt too close for comfort with hollowed thuds, Gale kicks himself for ever letting go in the first place, the distant shouts a reminder of what they’ve just dodged. His heart pounds as they crash through the trees and frostbitten underbrush, following the silhouettes of George and Bill until no one’s legs can push them on any further.

Gale can only stare at John in disbelief as they all sit around on the cold ground fighting to catch their breath, and John pointedly refuses to meet his eyes, like he knows exactly what Gale’s thinking about.

It’s only once the other two are asleep with John and Gale taking the guard duty shift that they finally have a moment alone. Gale watches John where he leans against a tree, studying the rigid set of his shoulders as he looks off into the dense woods, seemingly lost in thought. Gale exhales heavily, breath coming out in a cloud in the cold night air, and then he wanders over to John’s unmoving form, not even getting a turn of his head at the sound of his approach.

“Some watchman,” Gale says quietly as he reaches John’s side. “What if I’d been a guard sneaking up on you?”

John breathes out an attempt at a laugh that falls flat, scuffing his boot against the dirt.

“Y’think I don’t know the sound of your footsteps by heart?”

Gale’s own heart clenches at that, but he steadies himself, moving to stand in front of John so he can’t avoid looking him in the eyes anymore. John looks uncertain, nervous, cagey, but as soon as Gale reaches his gloved hands up and cups his face, he softens, tense jaw relaxing.

“John,” Gale murmurs, searching his dark eyes pleadingly. “What the hell were you thinking?”

John’s face twinges as if Gale’s concern inflicts actual pain, and he shakes his head gently, not enough to knock Gale’s hands off.

“I wasn’t,” he says gruffly, voice thick with emotion. Gale wants more than that, even though he already knows; he wants to hear John admit he was thinking about sacrificing himself, so that he can tell him how stupid of an idea that was.

But John presses his cheek against his hand, a silent apology, lashes dark against his cheekbones when he lets his eyelids slip closed, and Gale’s anger melts away, replaced by desperation.

“Don’t do anything like that ever again,” Gale whispers fiercely. “Promise me.”

John nods, swallowing hard, blinking his eyes back open to meet Gale’s with weighted sincerity.

“I promise, Gale.”

“I can’t lose you, John. You know that, right?” Gale presses, stepping forward. John looks reluctant to believe him, but he seems to resign himself to doing so when Gale doesn’t waver in his conviction.

“Can’t lose you either,” John mumbles, a hand toying with the hem of Gale’s sweater, giving it a gentle tug to bring him closer.

“Well,” Gale hums, lost between John’s lips and eyes. “Guess we better not do anything stupid then, hey?”

“Guess so.”

[fluffyhare]

Short hurt/comfort fic below. Lots of angst and crying, cheer-up tickles, ler!Avery, a ton of teasing, and even some fourth-wall-breaking? Very personal, and a bit weird, but.. it was meant to be cathartic and I do feel better, so I think that's good enough right now. 💙

“Avery… What am I doing here?” 

I was seated on an old, green corduroy couch, which I instantly recognized as the first couch I’d ever bought. How he'd managed to get it here – wherever here was – baffled me; it had been years since I donated that ratty thing to Goodwill. 

Apart from myself, the couch, Avery, and the armchair he was seated in, everything as far as I could see was white, even the floor. I was reminded of “The Construct” scene from The Matrix. 

“You're always here… this is your mind. I merely constructed this space so that we could talk,” he explained. 

“Uhm, okay… Suspending my disbelief, for a moment… What do you want to talk about?” 

Avery's long legs were crossed, his arms folded over his chest. He did not look happy, but despite his stern expression, I couldn't help but admire him; clad in a lavender button down and khaki pants, he looked as soft and sweet as cotton candy. 

“I hear you, you know… all these self deprecating thoughts you have.” 

I fidgeted, already getting an inkling of where this was going. I studied the featureless white floor, lips pursed.

Avery continued, “I try not to invade your privacy by listening, but… I live here, and you can be quite loud. Generally, you make me proud by quieting those criticisms… But, sometimes, you indulge thoughts I cannot abide. I think you know what I'm referring to, don't you?” 

I didn't meet Avery's gaze. 

“Casper? Shall I repeat it?” 

I whimpered, my head snapping forward. 

“No! No, please don't.”

“Why not? Is it because you don't want your friends to read the absolutely ridiculous thought you had about your art, because you already know what they'd say?” 

I tried to resist it, but a warm flush colored my cheeks. I looked away from him, again. 

Avery sighed, shook his head, and smiled in exasperation. 

“Alright, dewdrop. If you won't talk to me, let's have it out.” He stood, rolling up his sleeves. 

“N-No, I just… I can't!” I squeaked, hiding my face in my hands. “I can't talk about it, I just… Nobody understands. I just try so hard, and…” I was starting to choke up. My brow furrowed in frustration – why did he have to put me through this? 

“Now, you know that's not true. You think you're the only artist who has ever struggled? Come, now.” 

“I’m just so late to the game… And, I should be further along than this. I've been drawing for six months now, and I still can't get proportions right… I still can't draw with depth… I still can't shade… My friends deserve better than what I can make… ”

I felt the couch move beside me, and then two huge arms encircled my body. I leaned weakly into his chest, his skin providing cool relief for my emotional flush. He was as soft as ever.

“Casper… You can't hang your self worth on the opinions of others. I know you love your friends – and, for the record, they obviously love your art – but you can't allow what anyone else thinks to determine whether you continue this journey or not.” 

He shifted, crooking a finger under my chin and tilting my head up. Two hot tears streamed down my face as I stared into his clear, gentle eyes. 

“I've heard you say these words, yourself: ‘You do not need to create to be worthy of love’. Why don't you believe that, when it's you? Why do you think other people inherently deserve kindness, patience, and love, but that you have to earn it?”

He studied my face as I tried, and failed, to control my sobbing. An answer was shared wordlessly through a series of mental images – we did inhabit the same mind, after all. 

“Oh, Casper…” He tugged my trembling body into his huge embrace once again. “I know, I know… It's okay.” 

“I'm trying,” I sniffled. 

“You’ve come so far, dewdrop… You've wanted this for so long. I've seen the joy that art brings you, and I’ll be damned if I'm going to let you lose one more thing that’s precious to you. Not if I can help it.”

“Avery,” I looked up at him, slowly, a puzzled expression on my tear-stained face, “did you just swear?”

He grinned. “Did I finally get your attention, then?” 

I turned my head into his arm, concealing my reaction. 

“Ah, ah! Don't you dare hide that smile I just worked so hard for…” 

He tried to tilt my head back up, but I turned away swiftly, shifting to face away from him. 

I heard a snicker from behind me. 

“Wrong move.” 

I gasped, leaping from the couch and breaking into a sprint. The boundless white space was so vast, I felt as though I could run forever; like I was a little kid again, energy nigh infinite, chasing a soccer ball on the playground field of my youth. 

When was the last time I had run like this? 

As my imagination blossomed, the space around me began to transform. Placid white ceiling became sunny sky, painted delicately with rolling cumulus clouds. Soft grass pushed up through the sterile floor until my pounding footsteps became muffled thuds, yellow woodsorrel sprouting like jewels in a sea of green. Warm sunshine told me it was spring, but the breeze whistled cool against my skin, quickly drying the tears from my face and clothes. 

I stood no chance of resisting; my weak smile broke into a huge grin, and finally a giggly laugh. 

Outrunning Avery, I knew, was a pipe dream… but I'd run for longer than I expected. Did I dare glance backwards…?

No sooner had the thought entered my mind than my ankles were ensnared by an unseen force. I yelped, eyes squeezing closed as I threw my hands out to brace my fall into the grass. I landed in something much softer. I opened my eyes. A beanbag? I rolled over. 

Avery was standing over me, grinning with delight. He didn't look even the least bit winded, that cheeky shit. I could see now that my ankles were wrapped in a boa of clouds. 

“Well, aren't you proud of yourself,” I quipped, a giggle rendering my sarcasm toothless. 

Avery made a gesture with his hand, and I jumped as a large shade tree appeared over us. “Hey! Jesus, warn me first… How did you even do that? How do you keep making things appear like that?” I was only delaying the inevitable. I shuffled my feet, but there was no breaking free from Avery's cloud cuff. 

“You can do it, too,” he replied, taking a seat in the grass as he began to unlance my Vans, “you made this entire field appear, just now – not even I can conjure something that big. That's the thing, Casper… You can't help but create, even when you're not trying to. It just pours out of you, which is why it's simply ridiculous that you'd give credence to a thought like ‘giving up on art’. Come on, now. Do you really think you could do that? Do you really think it would be fair to relinquish such a special and integral part of you?” 

I looked away, sheepishly. Avery continued. 

“I think we need to do some positive affirmations.” He set my shoes aside, and then unceremoniously pulled off each of my socks, stuffing them into my shoes. 

“Avery! Can't we talk about this?” I whined. The gentle breeze caressed the soft undersides of my bare feet, causing my toes to twitch. I took a deep breath, trying to keep from blushing. 

“I have been trying to talk about this! You are the one who keeps clamming up when I try to get you to come around. I think some gentle persuasion is in order, at this point.” He winked, wiggling his fingers in my direction. My stomach filled with butterflies; there was no stopping my blush, now. I shifted on the beanbag, but Avery's hands clasped my legs, keeping me still. 

“Ah, ah! You stay right there. I was kind enough to only bind your ankles, but we'll go for more, if you fight me.” 

I sunk back into the beanbag, folding my arms across my chest in a flustered pout. I avoided Avery's gaze. 

“Now, then… Let's start with this. I want you to say ‘I am a good artist’.” 

“I'm not going to say something I don't believe is true!” I bit, curling my toes in defiance. 

“Double nickels on my dime… Very well. Let's see if a little tickling can change your tune, hm?” With that, Avery’s plush fingertips began moving in an undulating ‘come hither’ motion along the soles of my feet. 

My face scrunched as I worked to resist it, squirming in the beanbag as I clamped my lips together, my trapped feet wriggling as much as their restraints allowed. 

“Oh, Casper, come on. Are you really going to make me be mean? Do I need to break out my worst teases already?”

Avery changed his tactic, abandoning my left foot so that he could hold my right toes back, using his free hand to scribble quickly along the sole. 

A surprised squeak turned into a series of titters that leaked from my sealed lips, and I covered my face with my hands. 

“Arrgh… A-Avery… C-come ohohohon!” 

I gasped as I felt my wrists captured by soft cuffs, which pulled my hands down and placed them neatly in my lap. He really was going to be mean about this!

“Say it, Casper… or else.” 

I stole a glance down at him – I might as well, since he wasn't going to let me cover my face, anyway – just to see him smirking challengingly up at me, his face a mask of determination. 

“God dahaahahahamn yohohohou!” I cried, my suppressed tittering breaking into a steady stream of helpless giggles. 

“Casper! Is that any way to speak to me? Alright, then… You asked for it. Coochie coochie coo~” he teased. “Awww, does someone have ticklish feet? I think they doooo~” Avery swished his hand again, conjuring a pair of ghost hands to hold each set of my toes back, while he tickled and scritched merrily along both of my soles. 

I squealed in frustration as I felt my blush immediately spread to my ears. He was really pulling out all the stops for this… How long could I resist, realistically? Perhaps it would be easier to give him an inch… Maybe he'd be satisfied, then? My brain was already growing fuzzy from his teasing. 

“Fihine! I'm a goohoohohood artihihist!” I laughed, arching my back as I endured the torturously gentle tickling. 

Avery stopped, grinning triumphantly. 

“There, now! Was that so hard? Let's move onto the next one!”

“Next one!? Oh, hell no! I am not doing any more of these!” 

My eyes widened as, in an instant, Avery was on top of me. He straddled my hips, lifting my restrained wrists over my head and invisibly pinning them there. Then he took my chin in his hand, forcing me to look into his fierce eyes. A chill ran down my spine as I felt his unwavering resolve.

“We're going to do as many as it takes for you to show yourself the same care that you show others. We're going to do these until you believe in yourself and your art. I have to live in your head, and I do not want to live in a place where I have to hear negative things like this said about my fellow. Am I making myself clear?”

I swallowed hard, but somehow, still mustered the nerve to argue. 

“Please, Avery…” 

“The next thing I want you to say is ‘I am worthy of love and friendship’, and when you say it, I want you to know that it includes when you're not doing things for other people. Not helping them, not creating for them, none of it. You are worthy just on your own, just for being you.”

“I can't…” 

Avery lifted his hands to my armpits, hovering mere inches from my short-sleeve t-shirt. 

“I know how you feel about being tickled here, and if you don't say it, right now, I'm going to tease you within an inch of your life until you do.” His eyes were ever kind, but they were serious, too. 

I whimpered, clicking my teeth together. There was no hiding in this position… All I could do was close my eyes, so I did. Feelings of disappointment, inadequacy, and loneliness washed over me. Could I ever really measure up to those I respected? Me, a person so damaged, and so many years behind? Could I really expect anyone to care about me when I wasn't doing something to make myself useful to them, or to make them happy? 

“Casper, look at me.” 

I complied, frowning. 

“If anyone else asked you these questions, what would you say? Would you really tell someone they're too late to be good at something? Would you look someone in the eye and tell them that they only have worth when they're doing something for you?” 

“No…” 

“Of course not. You deserve that compassion, too. Now, I want you to prove that you believe that. Say it for me, dewdrop.” 

“I… am worthy…” 

“Of…?” 

“...” 

“Come on, you're so close…”

“...” 

“I'll make you sing, then. Tickle, tickle, tickle! Coochie coochie coooo~! Awww, poor ticklish boy… Are you ticklish under your arms, right here? Let's see!” 

I had no strength left to resist – as Avery lowered his whirling fingertips to my pits, I howled with laughter, my blush flooding all over my face and neck. My hands twisted uselessly in their bonds as I squirmed beneath him, my heart fluttering as he gently tickled over my thin shirt. 

“AHAHAHAHhahavery! Plehehehehease NOHOHOT THEHEHEHERE!!” 

“I've given you plenty of warnings, I've been patient… now the kid gloves are off. Say it, Casper. Say it!” 

“I’M WOHOHORTHY OF LOHOHOVE!” 

“And…?” He slipped his fingers into the sleeves of my shirt, gently scribbling my bare underarms. 

My stomach did somersaults as I squealed with laughter so forceful, I could barely get the words out. 

“AHAHAHAND FRIENDSHIHIHIP!” 

“There we gooo~! Ohh, I am so proud…” He finally relented, wrapping his arms around my torso and pulling me into his softness. 

My cuffs dissipated, and I instantly wrapped my arms and legs around him, clutching him to me as I buried my face in his shoulder. He stroked my shock of blue hair, comforting me as I caught my breath. 

A warmth spread through my chest – while it certainly wasn't a cure-all, I had to admit… I did feel better. Perhaps some of the affirmations really did seep in, at least a bit. 

“I won't make you say any more, today… I think you've had enough. But we will be repeating this exercise, if I start hearing all that unkind self-talk again. Clear?” 

“Crystal,” I whispered after a moment, leaning my cheek against his cloudy head. 

[imakemywings]

Why Ship Eärendil/Elwing?

I think there are a lot of good reasons so let’s have a look (｡･∀･)ﾉﾞ

1. They have a lot in common. Both of them went through pretty traumatic events as children that involved being driven from their homes by an attacking force, losing family to that attacking force (Eärendil’s grandfather, Elwing’s parents and her brothers), and ending up refugees. They’re also at this point the only Peredhil in Middle-earth. There are a lot of difficult experiences they share, which allows them to understand each other on a level people without those experiences can’t as well.

2. They grew up together. They grew up in the Havens at Sirion and childhood-friends-to-lovers is a fire trope as far as I’m concerned. It’s very possible they played together as kids and they were there through each other’s awkward adolescent phases and talked each other through other crushes before they finally got together.

3. They obviously care about each other. We don’t see the details of a lot of marriages in The Silmarillion. Many of them are left wholly to the imagination as to how those characters acted around each other, but Eärendil and Elwing are explicitly devoted to each other.

“Eärendil found not Tuor nor Idril, nor came he ever on that journey to the shores of Valinor, defeated by shadows and enchantment. driven by repelling winds, until in longing for Elwing he turned homeward....” (Emphasis added)

Eärendil attempting his first voyage to Valinor is beset by all kinds of dangers, but it’s missing Elwing that finally makes him turn back and call this trip a bust.

“For Ulmo bore up Elwing out of the waves, and he gave her the likeness of a great white bird, and upon her breast there shone as a star the Silmaril, as she flew over the water to seek Eärendil her beloved.” (Emphasis added)

Beloved remains one of the peak terms of endearment, lbr.

“Then Eärendil, first of living Men, landed on the immortal shores...And Eärendil said to [his companions]: ‘Here none but myself shall set foot, lest you fall under the wrath of the Valar. But that peril I will take on myself alone, for the sake of the Two Kindreds.’

But Elwing answered: ‘Then would our paths be sundered for ever; but all thy perils I will take on myself also.’ And she leaped into the white foam and ran towards him...”

Elwing really said “if you’re damned then I will be too.” Here she accepts Eärendil’s fate, just as Eärendil later accepts hers and chooses the Elven path.

“But when all was spoken, Manwë gave judgement, and he said: ‘In this matter the power of doom is given to me. The peril that he ventured for love of the Two Kindreds shall not fall upon Eärendil, nor shall it fall upon Elwing his wife, who entered into peril for love of him...” (Emphasis added)

Even the Valar recognize how much these two care about each other!

“And at times, when Eärendil returning drew near again to Arda, she [Elwing] would fly to meet him, even as she had flown long ago, when she was rescued from the sea. Then the far-sighted among the Elves that dwelt in the Lonely Isle would see her like a white bird, shining, rose-stained in the sunset, as she soared in joy to greet the coming of Vingilot to haven.” (Emphasis added)

After their journey, even in spite of all their grief, they still find joy in one another. Their marriage is still strong even through everything they’ve seen.

4. They saved Middle-earth together. These two did what no one else had managed and sailed back to the Blessed Realm to get help for Middle-earth. Clearly, power couple moves.

”Yet Eärendil saw now no hope left in the lands of Middle-earth, and he turned again in despair and came not home, but sought back once more to Valinor with Elwing at his side.”

Friendly remind this journey is supposed to be impossible, but they are determined to do it because they know Middle-earth cannot survive without the intercession of the Valar.

“Few of the Teleri were willing to go forth to war, for they remembered the slaying at the Swanhaven, and the rape of their ships; but they hearkened to Elwing...and they sent mariners enough to sail the ships that bore the hose of Valinor east over the sea.”

But for Elwing, the Teleri would not have engaged in the war effort at all; she alone convinced them to help.

“But Eärendil came, shining with white flame, and about Vingilot were gathered all the great birds of heaven and Thorondor was their captain, and there was battle in the air all day and through a dark night of doubt. But before the rising of the sun Eärendil slew Ancalagon the Black, the mightiest of the dragon-host, and cast him down from the sky...”

From start to finish Eärendil and Elwing have been committed to saving Middle-earth from Melkor’s menace and boy do they see it through.

5. Eärendil chooses immortality to stay with Elwing. In a mirror of Beren and Lúthien’s story, Eärendil surrenders a mortal fate to stay joined with Elwing.

“Then Eärendil said to Elwing: ‘Choose thou, for now I am weary of the world.’ And Elwing chose to be judged among the Firstborn Children of Ilúvatar, because of Lúthien; and for her sake Eärendil chose alike...”

Eärendil both trusts Elwing to make this choice for both of them and makes the same choice as her even though it isn’t his first preference.

6. Eärendil named his boat, which becomes the immortal vessel in which he sails through the skies, after Elwing. Can we say romance?

7. Elwing gives Eärendil the Silmaril. In general, most people who get their hands on a Silmaril are not keen to give it up. Yet Elwing passes the Silmaril onto Eärendil without a fuss and never again takes possession of it.

8. Their super rad mythological couple energy. Half-Elven couple who braved the sea to voyage to a realm it was supposed to be impossible for them to find to bring back divine help for their home? Last queen of the forest kingdom who in her moment of greatest despair is lifted up by divine forces and transformed? Hero of the last bastion of the Elves in Middle-earth who uses his mariner skills to make an impossible voyage, bearing back a jewel thought lost forever? Former Elven queen who now abides in a white tower on the sea and talks to birds and transforms into a bird herself to fly up to greet the return of her husband? Immortal captain of a flying ship that slew a dragon and now keeps watch over the stars? They are killing it y’all.

Feel free to add on o(*￣▽￣*)ブ

All quotes in this post are from the “Of the Voyage of Eärendil and the War of Wrath” chapter of The Silmarillion!

Convinced? Not convinced? Try these fanfic recs under the cut:

At the Water’s Edge by crackinthecup - G - 3,349 - Eärrámë is nearly ready to sail. Tuor and Idril’s days at the Havens of Sirion are drawing to an end. It is a time of loss and hope for all, and Elwing is no exception.

Elwing, Survivor by crownlessliestheking - T - Elwing and Earendil after arriving in Valinor.

From the Ones Who Came Before by Krita - T - 5,247 - Elwing was young when Menegroth fell. Melian's line is complicated, but far more so is growing into yourself.

A Glimpse of the Harbor by me - G - 1,925 - Elwing watched for the return of Earendil's ship.

How Big, How Blue, How Beautiful by mochimilku - T - 1,185 - Eärendil, Elwing, and the ocean.

Let Us Taunt Old Care with a Merry Air / And Sing in the Face of Ill by me - G - 643 - When Elwing lands in the Havens, she befriends a young princeling from Gondolin.

The One With All the Birds by clothono - G - 46,543 - Elwing and Nerdanel in Valinor in the Fourth Age; a story about children coming home.

So Summer Comes by potatoesanddreams - G - 2,654 - Ada said he would be home by autumn equinox. It is winter solstice now.

Untitled by simaethae - G - E-squared family fluff.

[keets-writing-corner]

Thinking a LOT about Lucifer in the latest Hazbin episode. Idk what I was expecting but not this??

As I was watching my immediate thought was just "huh... Lucifer is kinda of weird..." but as the episode went on I realized the issue

the dude is off the chain depressed, like he says it as a joke but holy cow it is SO BAD

He's manically just creating rubber ducks cuz his daughter really like it that one time but it's empty, it's never good enough but he keeps doing it, maybe cuz he doesn't know how to pass the time otherwise.

like I get the feeling he HAS better things he SHOULD be doing than making rubber duck after rubber duck. At first I was like, "Bruh why isn't the king of hell doing anything?" aaaaand then it became clear...

The dude is disassociating so bad he can barely hold a conversation let alone remember information. He clearly WANTS to, he wants to be involved with his daughter so bad, he wants to care about the things she's doing so bad, but his depression keeps interfering. It's like he can only hear every other word and he grasps onto the ones he does hear semi-out of context. Like you can see every time he catches something that he hadn't before and he just "well shit I didn't catch that part"

and that's why he reacts so weird when people talk to him. He is struggling so bad to engage with the conversation he's only getting 50% of it

does that look like the face of a man who knows what the hell the conversation is even about??? he is STRUGGLING

like Charlie spent so long telling him about the hotel, and he STILL didn't understand what she wanted. Yeah it comes off as ditzy but literally I've been in that position where your brain just "nope, not doing this right now" and nerfs your conversation comprehension. So as someone who's BEEN in that position, to me it feels exactly like what he's dealing with. He's sorta engaged with the conversation, but only as much as his brain will allow

For example, when I'm dealing with this, this is what someone talking to me feels like this where the crossed out parts are what I missed and bold is what I catch, "Hey! You know I was thinking for dinner we could either make some chicken with rice? But if you don't feel like cooking, pasta is super easy and you love that right? What do you want to do?" you can kinda get that someone is trying to talk to you about dinner, and towards the end you get the impression that they asked something that needs your input so you can decently put 2 and 2 together and try and pass off, but crucial bits were left out, I would have no idea that either chicken or pasta is in the conversation only having heard "rice". When someone is just talking at me, I can decently pass off as being engaged but the second I'm required to participate in the conversation I'm screwed. Seem familiar? At which point I have 2 options, try to give a bullshit answer, or admit that I missed what they were saying and ask them to repeat

Lucifer, unfortunately, is trying so damn hard to hide that he's dealing with like 24/7 dissociation, so he can't admit that he's missing entire chunks of the conversation, hence his really weird replies. He does eventually get the full picture and then he and Charlie start having the real conversation

Also, the Alastor/Lucifer rivalry was hilarious but also really indicative of more of what Lucifer is dealing with

Alastor is, unfortunately, really good at picking up people's insecurities, and thanks to Charlie's description earlier and watching Lucifer clearly trying to overcompensate, he immediately picks up on the fact that Lucifer KNOWS he struggles to be a good dad (we know cuz it's cuz of the depression, hard to be engaged when your brain keeps turning off) and decides to rub salt in the wound by pretending he's been acting as a surrogate father to Charlie. Now why Alastor decided to pick a fight with the king of hell is beyond me, I do not understand Alastor (and I LIKE IT) (maybe it's cuz Alastor thinks he's hot shit and was expecting Lucifer to at least have heard of him but Lucifer just treats him like a nobody? who knows)(why would Lucifer listen to radio anyways when he can't even pay attention to a conversation it'd just be white noise)

But yeah I just was expecting someone who oozed either charisma or presence and instead I got a depressed dad who's dissociating so bad he can barely function and be present in his life. The only thing it seems he CAN do is make rubber ducks cuz his daughter really liked it that one time

Idk Lucifer is tragic to me. Whatever the full details of what heavan did to him absolutely broke him and he can't deal with it. He's aware of it, and he doesn't know how to fix it, so he tries to over compensate and sorta makes an ass out of himself but no one says or does anything cuz this guy is supposed to be THE king of hell

Suddenly it's making a lot more sense why he just rolls over and lets heaven do what it wants and even told Charlie to go in his place the start of the show. He's not in any headspace to hold a basic conversation let alone negotiate! He didn't even know who Alastor was, he's been so out of touch

idk I like him, he seems sweet, I hope Charlie brings some light back into his life. He really needs to get out of that rubber duck room

[angelfic]

— THE WAY I LOVED YOU

pairing: theodore nott x reader

summary: in which theodore nott will do anything to get you to go out with him, but you’re just as stubborn rejecting him

warnings: swearing, kissing, dangerous stunts and theo being stupid (ryan gosling in the notebook style), unedited since i wrote this in the middle of the night on no sleep again lol. enemies to lovers if you squint a bit

author’s note: since everyone loves theo i’ll pretend this isn’t just for my own selfish needs <3 (especially the notebook reference) also surprise surprise mc is a gryffindor as always, you’d never know i was a slytherin my bad guys… as always let me know what u think! enjoy, angels 💌

The first time Theodore Nott asks you out, you spill a pot of ink directly into his lap.

It’s not like you meant to do it. But when there’s a Transfiguration worksheet to be getting on with, the Slytherin boy seated next to you by Professor McGonagall asking you out would surely take anyone by surprise.

The second you twist in your seat to look at him in shock, your arm slides the pot right off the desk and directly onto his grey trousers, instantly staining them with the black liquid before you have a chance to speak.

Your hands fly to your mouth to stifle your gasp and you look up at him, anticipating an angry glare in return. Instead, he looks mildly surprised at the ever-growing stain on his crotch, but mostly… amused?

“A simple ‘no’ would have sufficed, darling,” he says, raising an eyebrow and suppressing a smile.

You begin stuttering out an apology and scrambling for your wand to wave away the stain before you can do something stupid like attempting to rub it off with your sleeve. Your cheeks instantly heat up at the humiliating image now plaguing your mind and you barely contain a sigh of relief when you realise the lesson has finished.

It’s a miracle your shoes haven’t left scuff marks on the ground in a cartoonish trail with the speed at which you leave the classroom. Godric knows why Theo Nott of all people wants to ask you out, but since it can’t possibly be for any good reason, you’d rather not think about it too much. This, however, isn’t helped by Hermione pestering you about why you look so flustered for the entire walk to the Charms classroom.

Twenty minutes later, her attention is finally diverted. On the other hand, it’s because she’s berating you for accidentally burning the end of her left eyebrow off with a charm gone wrong.

The second time Theo asks you out, there are thankfully no ink pots around.

“Hey,” he whispers from behind you, making you jump within an inch of your life despite his low volume. You swivel in your chair to glare at him, incredulous. Seeing that he’s startled you, Theo grins. “Sorry. What are you doing?”

“Baking a cake,” you deadpan, once your heart has started beating at a normal pace again. Holding up your Potions book, you feel the annoyance start to seep in when Theo continues looking at you, undeterred. “What does it look like I’m doing?”

Apparently unfazed by your sarcasm, he drags out the chair next to you and spins it around to sit on it backwards. Settling his arms on top of the backrest, Theo rests his chin on them to look at you. “You never did answer my question.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you mumble, eyes scanning the page in front of you but taking in nothing. “If you’ll excuse me, I have to study-”

“Are you going to make me ask you again?” he sighs. You panic a little at his bluntness and continue pretending to read, not knowing what else to do. Theo takes your silence as encouragement and shuffles his chair closer to your own. “Go out with me.”

The arrogance practically drips off his voice, and the pit of anxiety in your stomach immediately turns into irritation instead. “No,” you grit out, slamming your potions book shut to scowl at him. “And I don’t hear you asking anything.”

“Okay,” Theo says slowly, nodding as though he understands. It’s clear that he doesn’t though, because the next words out of his mouth have you stunned. “Please, oh please, will you do me the absolute greatest honour of going out with me?”

”Merlin,” you exhale, pinching the bridge of your nose. Dropping your hands into your lap, you see no solution other than gathering your things to return to the common room. “You’re having me on…”

“I can assure you, I’m not,” Theo says quickly, stopping you from leaving by gently grabbing your elbow. You stop in your movements to catch him looking more unsure than you’ve ever seen, and you’ve never been more perplexed. “I’m completely serious right now. Go out with me?”

“Wh- I don’t even-” you sigh, cutting your senseless muttering off to cross your arms over your textbook. “Whatever happened to a simple ‘no’ sufficing, darling? Aren’t there a million other girls for you to go and pester? Godric knows you’ve got an entourage following you half the- What are you looking at?”

Amazingly, Theo’s expression has lost all trace of vulnerability and now displays a slightly faraway look, his signature lazy grin in full effect. “Sorry, I didn’t hear a word after you called me ‘darling’.”

Resisting the urge to hit him over the head with your textbook, you take a deep breath and grasp the potential weapon tighter in your hands before speaking. “As hard as it is for me to believe that girls actually fall for this rubbish, your history with them shows that they do. Don’t think for a second, I’m going to let you use me like they do.”

Theo considers your words for a few seconds, mulling them over as carefully as though he’s trying to solve a brain teaser. Eventually, he seems to come to a satisfying conclusion, because he tucks his hands into the pockets of his trousers and tilts his head. “So you need me to prove I’m serious about this… and then you’ll say yes?”

“Oh, for the love of-” Huffing, you turn on your heal without saying another word and storm out of the library. Theo doesn’t follow you, allowing you to clear your head and think about the incredibly odd interaction.

You’re climbing through the portrait hole into the Gryffindor common room when you realise you never actually refuted Theo and his theory to make you go out with him. Whether or not it was on purpose, you can’t quite decide.

Over the next few weeks, you start wishing you had stopped Theo before he could start trying to prove himself to you.

You can’t go a single day without the question of going out with him popping up. Much to your bewilderment, it isn’t always him asking. Sometimes it’s his friends, sometimes it’s students at the Gryffindor table who are sick of the multiple owls every morning flocking to your table with a note in their beaks. Sometimes it’s even your friends.

“I mean, really,” Hermione says at breakfast, huffy as always when reprimanding someone. “It’d be benefiting everyone if you just went out with him. Why don’t you, anyway?”

“He’s a Slytherin,” Ron butts in, talking to Hermione as though he’s explaining something to a child. He takes a gigantic bite of his toast before speaking, his next words coming out muffled. “Surely that’s reason enough.”

“No, that isn’t reason enough,” Hermione says sternly, furrowing her brows. “A good reason would have been all the girls he’s always with. Of course, that’s flown out the window recently. He’s also never given them as much attention now that I think about it.”

“He’s definitely not the worst of the group either,” Harry adds, leaning in as nosily as Ron. “Not like we’re talking about Malfoy…”

“Don’t you two have Quidditch tactics to be discussing?” you snap, exhausted by the subject already. The two boys hold up their hands in surrender, before shuffling down the bench. Whether that’s to be closer to the Quidditch team, or to get away from you before you start throwing hexes - you aren’t certain.

The fact you’re awake early in the morning on a Saturday isn’t helping your sour mood, and the Quidditch match being between Gryffindor and Slytherin only adds to this.

“We’d better go and get a good seat at the front, so we aren’t on our tiptoes for the whole game like last time,” Hermione says, already sliding off the bench. You give your cup of coffee one last longing look before you allow yourself to be dragged away.

You haven’t even made it onto the Quidditch pitch before you’re already wishing for that cup of coffee to give you strength, because you find none other than Theo standing outside the Great Hall in his green and silver Quidditch robes.

As soon as he spots you, Theo plasters on that charming smile of his and opens his mouth, no doubt to ask you if you could talk privately.

Hermione interjects before he gets the chance. “Don’t bother, I’m leaving.” She simply sighs when you look at her, betrayed. “He’d have convinced you anyway! I’ll save you a seat.”

You watch her leave, helplessly before turning to Theo and crossing your arms. “Yes?”

“I have a proposition for you,” he says simply, getting to the point. The proposition has, without a doubt, got something to do with you and him and a trip to Hogsmeade, but you gesture for him to continue nonetheless. You can’t deny it’s been entertaining watching Theo come up with new ways to ask you out these past few weeks. “I’ll throw the match and let your lot win if you go out with me.”

This startles a laugh out of you, something between a chortle and a gasp. “Oh, you cheeky bastard,” you exclaim, but you can’t help grinning. That was quite possibly the last thing you expected him to say. “First of all, I think my lot is perfectly capable of winning on their own. And secondly… as funny as it would be, I’d rather not have your death and Malfoy’s subsequent imprisonment in Azkaban be on my conscience.”

You only realise just how wide your smile is when it starts to fade under Theo’s unwavering gaze. His lips twitch up into a smile and you immediately frown as an automatic response. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“You’re bantering with me,” Theo says, grinning as though he’s extremely pleased with himself. You realise with a jolt, that yes you were bantering. “One step closer to agreeing to go out with me.”

“That’s not happening,” you protest, but it sounds fairly weak, even to you. “Like I keep telling you, I’m not going to be one of those girls.”

Theo shrugs. “And I think you already know you’re not one of those girls. It’s fine, I can wait.”

The relaxed manner in which he says this has you flabbergasted to say the least. Truthfully, you aren’t completely sure why you haven’t just agreed at this point. No one in the whole school is used to witnessing such extravagant displays from Theodore Nott, so you’ve accepted the fact you’re an outlier in this particular subject area. You’re starting to think Hermione’s right, and it’s pure stubbornness that’s keeping you going.

“You’ll be waiting a long time then,” you say, giving Theo a bland smile.

“Nah,” is all he says, the smile still gracing his unperturbed face. “Keep an eye out for me in the Quidditch stands.”

Theo winks at you before walking away in the direction of the pitch and you linger in the castle for a good few minutes before snapping out of it and walking in the same direction.

You find Hermione quickly at the front of the Gryffindor stand and you’re about to ask how long until the game starts when Lee Jordan’s voice begins to boom from the commentator stand.

“Strong start for Gryffindor with Katie Bell taking the Quaffle and- nope, Vaisey’s taken it and passed it onto Urquhart, his fellow Chaser and the new Slytherin captain.” You’re thankful for Lee’s commentary as it’s easy to follow and you probably wouldn’t have a clue if it weren’t for him. Surprisingly, he keeps it professional enough for a while. “Ginny Weasley tries to take the Quaffle after a near hit there to Urquhart, thanks to new Gryffindor Beater Jimmy Peakes and that very solid Bludger over there. Unfortunately, he missed-”

“JORDAN.”

“Sorry, Professor McGonagall, I meant fortunately. Slytherin Chaser Mattheo Riddle now has the Quaffle and seems to be aiming to score and- oops! He’s missed, thanks to Gryffindor Keeper Ron Weasley. Good on you, Weasley,” Lee says, unable to be impartial as shown by McGonagall’s glare. “As for the Slytherin Keeper, Nott seems to be distracted by something in the Gryffindor stands. Or should I say someone.”

Laughter echoes in every stand, much to your utter humiliation and some people even start whooping and cheering in your direction. Theo’s antics are common knowledge at this point, but it doesn’t make the laughter any less embarrassing. You try and maintain a shred of dignity by standing still and glaring as hard as you can at Theo. Horrifyingly, he starts to fly in your direction.

Lee looks at McGonagall before speaking, but she merely shrugs helplessly, looking flustered herself. “Er, well it seems Slytherin are open for Gryffindor to score. No one seems to be taking advantage, however, as I think I can speak for everyone when I say we want to know what’s going on with Nott and Y/N.”

Glancing at the others, you realise Lee is right and all the players are hovering in place, making no move to continue the game. They look partly confused, but mostly nosy.

Theo stops just outside the Gryffindor stand, his attention focused wholly on you. You raise both eyebrows in question, waiting for him to speak. “Go out with me.”

“Unfortunately, I can’t quite hear what Nott is saying, but I think we can all guess he’s asking her out again,” Lee says, causing a few more cheers and even a couple groans. “Take the hint, mate.”

“Theo, get back to the game!” you hiss, wrapping your arms around you as if it’ll shield you from everyone’s eyes. “You’re embarrassing m- What the fuck are you doing!”

Theo swings a leg over the side of his broomstick so that he’s sitting completely facing you, legs dangling dangerously off one side. Lee sits up a little in his booth and McGonagall looks positively horrified. “For unknown reasons, Nott is balancing precariously in a position no Quidditch player wants to- Merlin, he’s hanging off his broomstick!”

Everyone in the crowd screams and shouts when Theo slips off his broomstick, but they quieten down and watch with fright when they see he’s still holding on with both hands. You think you’re going to faint.

“Theo,” you plead, with the same voice you’d use to coax a bloody kitten out of a tree. “Get back on your broomstick. Please.”

“Only if you go out with me,” Theo says, eyes determined despite breathing a little heavier. The broomstick is thin and despite his strength, it’d be hard for anyone to maintain a grip for long. “Say you’ll go out with me and I’ll get back on.”

“Just say it!” Hermione grabs you by the shoulder to shake you.

Professor McGonagall seems to have shaken out of her previous daze and begins scrambling around for her wand while Lee narrows his eyes to better assess the situation. “Godric, Y/N. Just say ‘yes’ and end everyone’s misery already.”

“But…” you trail off, hands shaking as you keep your eyes on Theo’s white knuckles still gripping the broom. “I don’t want to encourage this stupid behaviour.”

Theo rolls his eyes as though he can’t believe you’re still objecting. He shakes his head at you, though his chest is shaking with laughter. “Go out with me, and I swear I’ll never do anything stupid again. Fucking hell, I’ll quit Quidditch altogether if you want.”

You open your mouth to say something, you’re not sure what, but before you can get a word out, Seamus Finnigan pipes up from beside you. “Personally, I say let him fall off the bloody thing.”

Tutting, you turn to Theo just to find the idiot raising an eyebrow challengingly. His left hand begins to loosen on the broomstick, deliberately.

“Theo, don’t you dare.”

He drops his left hand completely and you scream, the noise drowned out by everyone else’s yells.

“OKAY!” you yelp, heart in throat as you watch Theo dangling from his broomstick with one hand, clearly struggling. “Okay, I’ll go out with you, you stubborn idiot!”

The Gryffindors that hear you, begin to cheer, setting off the other houses and once McGonagall sees Theo begin to pull himself up on his broomstick, she visibly relaxes, slumping in her seat as she clutches her chest. Lee soon gets the message. “Finally, after a good month of watching Nott pine pathetically, Y/N has agreed to go out with the poor bast- Er, beggar. Sorry, Professor. By the way Nott, you’ve got detention for a week.”

Now sitting normally on his broomstick, Theo grins at you like the cheeky bastard that he is, with elation clear as day on his face. You struggle to fight off your own grin and you can tell by his expression you’re not doing a very good job at it. “Pull something like that again and I’ll push you off your broomstick myself,” you warn him, though it lacks any real threat. You were more worried than angry, and it definitely shows. “Okay?”

“No more stupid behaviour,” Theo promises, sounding sincere as he nods, messy hair falling into his eyes. The wind blows it out of the way almost immediately and you find yourself wanting to do it with your fingers. “After this, though.”

You furrow your brows as Theo flies close enough to the Gryffindor stand to get off his broomstick and hop right into the crowd, landing next to you. Broomstick in hand, Theo doesn’t take his eyes off you when he holds it out to Hermione. “If you don’t mind, Granger.”

Clearly baffled, Hermione gingerly takes the broomstick from him and watches the two of you, as enraptured as the rest of the school.

You face Theo properly, looking up at his eyes to see them glittering with pride and achievement. You tilt your head in question, wondering why he hasn’t yet returned to the game.

Theo answers you by gripping your waist to pull you into a stupidly dramatic, dizzying, wonderful kiss. His lips are soft against your own and cold from the wind, but the shiver that runs down your spine has nothing to do with the temperature and everything to do with the way Theo is pressed against you.

You could go on forever, but the cheers and claps and hollering around you remind you that you’re surrounded by all your peers and, Godric, your teachers.

Pulling away, you clear your throat and attempt to gain back some of your dignity by keeping a serious face. Theo attempts nothing of the sort as he’s still wearing a silly grin. You try and avoid his eyes for the sake of your nerves and you mutter the first thing that comes to mind. “Erm, good luck then. I hope you win.”

This is the wrong thing to say surrounded by your fellow Gryffindors as a few of them boo at you.

Theo rolls his eyes at the dramatics, while you simply scowl, pointedly at Seamus who seems to have boo’ed the loudest. Hermione is beaming at you when she hands Theo back his broomstick, though she also gives a little frown directed at Seamus.

Getting back on his broomstick, Theo hovers near you outside the stand. You lower your voice to a whisper that only he can hear. “I still hope you win.”

Theo shrugs, looking more relaxed than you’ve ever seen him during a Quidditch game. “I’ve already won, darling.”

© angelfic 2023.

[suguann]

an. part two of this | masterlist

You tell him you broke up with your boyfriend while he’s away for work, bunked up in a safe house in the middle of nowhere with shit reception, hearing your words as clear as day as if they weren’t the chopped-up version coming through his burner phone.

“It just…didn’t work out.”

It didn’t work out.

He pretends his stomach doesn’t pleasantly twist because he’d expected it to happen eventually. He’s not happy about it—although it does make the desert heat more bearable in his heavy tactical gear—and tells Soap to fuck off when he comments on it.

It was a one-time fuck because Simon doesn’t date. He’s tried in the past before he met you—the flowers, the late-night dinners—but with him being gone almost every other month (sometimes longer, shorter if he’s lucky), it never works out in the end. Sleeping with you twice would fall under that category, the quasi-relationship kind, and make everything messier than it needs to be. 

Just some fun, no strings, those are the words he promised.

If only he believed them.

He does, for all of two weeks until he’s home again, and it’s summer, so you’re wearing a flowy dress that shows off the long expanse of your legs. 

(He’s a goner—not even sure why he tried to think otherwise.)

That one time he’d promised turns into a second, both of you stumbling into your apartment after a night out. The music from the pub still thumping loudly underneath your floor as he pushes you against the front door, hands in your hair—on your waist, underneath your skirt, down your thigh to hitch it over his waist—teasing your mouth open with a swipe of his tongue across your bottom lip.

You make this delighted little noise in the back of your throat, arching into him, and his hand spans down your stomach, beneath your underwear, to nudge your messy clit with his knuckle, wanting to hear all the sounds you make now that he has you alone. 

A whiny cry of his name rewards him—jeans tightening around his waist at the sound—when his fingers go down, down until they press against your tight little hole, one finger pressing inside slowly. "If I make you cum, I get to fuck you here.”

You smile prettily, and it disarms him. “If you make me cum, you can fuck me however you want.”

Neither of you makes it to the bed, falling asleep on the living room floor instead, the blanket from the couch draped haphazardly over both of you with his arm curled over your waist.

That night had been a slip of judgment, a product of wanting something warm and soft after several months of only having his hand for company.

It happens again and again, and he keeps letting it happen until there’s no more hiding under the guise of just fun because it somehow turns into a lot more than that.

Simon can’t explain how it happens—maybe becoming something he can touch and hold and think about often—but he finds himself in an exclusive relationship with you that isn’t exactly a relationship because he’s unsure of the ins and outs that they entail.

(Always has been.)

His father was a shit role model, and it was always easier finding someone new who didn’t know his name or care about his scars and only wanted a nice fuck. There had never been any point in shooting for something serious when it was always out of the question for him, until now, that is.

He takes you to that over-rated restaurant overlooking the Thames Marcus never brought you to. A picture of you and him with the sunset in the background—your smile almost blinding in the photo—becomes his home screen, and he finds he doesn’t care when Soap has something to say about it.

He lets you do nonsensical shit, like buying small plants for his house that are surely going to die from him being gone before he comes up with the great idea to give you a key. It’s just a key.

(It’s more than just a key.)

Simon finds himself asking if he can come over more often throughout the week, which slowly moulds and shifts into nights filled with things other than sex—sleeping after a long day of work, cuddling on the couch, cooking together, going to the movies—he doesn’t try to make a big deal out of it because you used to hang out all the time without sex. 

(Somewhere, there’s a but in there.)

There’s still no label to whatever this is, and he wonders if you want him to be the first to say the thing you’ve both been dancing around for a little over…he can’t remember, but he knows it’s been long enough for your things to mix in with his at his house. 

Be with me because I’m yours, and you’re mine, that’s what he’s trying to say, and it’s never the right time. Men like him—a little broken, rough, and jagged around the edges sharp enough to cut—aren’t good with words like that.

(That’s what he thought.)

If he hadn’t seen you talking to a guy at the pub, eyes crinkling in that same sweet way whenever Simon makes you laugh, he wonders if he would’ve been the first to break from the start. He knows it’s your job as a bartender to be nice, but his jaw clicks at the sight of the guy leaning over the bar and into your space, almost too close.

The feeling doesn’t go away until he has you spread out on your mattress under him—clothes haphazardly peeled out of the way for him to put his mouth on you—your lips pursed tight around two of his fingers to give you something to focus on as his other hand works between your thighs, pressing down on your tongue when gurgled little sounds slip out.

He teases you with a small, pink vibrator he found inside your bedside table, your legs kicking out and toes curling into his calves.

“Mine. This is mine, love,” he groans, pressing you further into the bed with his weight. “Do you understand?”

You nod, tears pearling and leaking from the corner of your eyes.

“Lemme cum,” you whine, words muffled. “Simon, I want to cum. Please.”

He won’t lie that he’s close after jerking into his fist to the sight of you writhing on the sheets—swears he can feel his heartbeat throbbing against the back of his fingers—takes in your surprised expression when he pushes forward, impaling you on the first few inches of his cock.

His stomach twists from the squeal that escapes your throat, and fuck, your cunt, so hot and tight with little pulses that drive him crazy, only growing tighter when he turns up the speed on the vibrator.

“‘Mm, gonna cum. I’m—”

He grits his teeth as you start to flutter around his cock once he’s rooted inside you. “Go on—fuck—go on, love. Let me feel it.”

You look so perfect like this, like a dream: lips parted into an enticing little O with his name tumbling out in breathy mewls, tits hanging out from the bra he shoved to the side, eyes glassy and unfocused. 

“So fucking pretty.” He kisses your throat, panting into your sweat-slick skin, and it’s not long before he’s falling over the edge with you. 

Next time, he’ll have the courage to tell you: that you’re not someone he calls for a meaningless fuck on the weekend, that Simon misses you when he’s gone and can’t wait to come home, that he wants to try with you—except not when he’s balls deep and trembling inside your heavenly cunt.

But the smile he feels against his shoulder makes him think that maybe…

Maybe you already know.

[criminalamnesia]

that 141 x reader you just did was so good! i need to know what happens next. like after reader is better, do they stay in the military? stay in 141? or do they take a discharge? I’m not the original ask but it was just so good.

love your writing btw!

thank you! here’s part two :)

ALL PARTS CAN BE FOUND HERE

you were beginning to hate the infirmary.

the white walls. the moans of pain. the smell of bleach and blood.

the reminder of why you were here. of who put you here.

your friends. your family. your team. john. johnny. kyle. simon.

you’d told the doctor to not let your teammates in, and she had tried, but there was only so much she could do. she couldn’t monitor the door all the time, and so a week after waking up from your coma, john price is sitting at your beside once again.

his hands are clasped together, knuckles white with the intensity of his grip. he’s leaning forward, elbows resting on the bed, hands under his chin. his position conveys his regret and worry. he looks like he should be in church, knelt between the pews and spewing silent prayers to a god that isn’t listening.

you haven’t spoken to him since he sat down ten minutes ago. the second you saw him step inside the infirmary, you knew he was there for you. there to try and speak to you, to apologize.

fuck him and his apologies.

you turned your head to the side, eyes staring at the white curtain separating your bed from the next. you studied the stitching while you listened to him breathe next to you. he hadn’t spoken either— just sat down and watched you.

it made your skin crawl, how he thought this was okay. how he thought this would be the way to get back into your good graces.

he clears his throat then, a sound you’ve heard a million times before. it makes you want to gag now.

“love,” his voice is soft, caring. you want to hit him in the jaw.

“can we talk? please?”

you don’t turn over, don’t even spare him a glance. you keep your gaze trained on the curtain. the only giveaway that he has your attention is the fists you clench at your sides.

he takes the silence as an invitation, that bastard.

“what happened—” he begins, then grunts. stops. takes a second, then begins again.

“what we did,” he says, and you roll your eyes. “it wasn’t right. the intel was from a trusted source. we—” he sighs then, and you can tell he’s rubbing his temple. he did that when he was stressed. when he was anxious.

“we were wrong to believe them over you, love. and im— im sorry.”

silence ensues. you don’t give him any indication that you’ve heard what he said. he sighs again, inhaling deeply.

“you’re still part of this team. johnny and gaz, they’ve been sitting outside this damn room like sentries. can barely pry ‘em away for drills.” he chuckles then, but it’s sad. pitiful. mournful.

“there’s nothing we can do to make this right,” he tells you. you’re still mulling over what he said about johnny and gaz. still hung up on the fact that he didn’t mention simon at all.

simon, who did the most damage to you, both psychologically and physically. simon, who shared your bed. simon.

simon, who is too much of a coward to face you for his crimes.

“but we want to try,” price is speaking again. “if you’ll let us.”

he stops talking. waits a beat, then two. then, you hear his chair scrape. he’s getting up, and that’s when you turn your head to face him.

he looks bad. bags under the eyes, skin pale, beard overgrown. you think he deserves this. deserves worse than this. his eyes meet yours, and they widen the tiniest bit at the attention you’re showing him.

your voice is full of venom as you speak.

“nothing,” you seethe, angry tears blurring your vision. “will ever undo what you did to me. what he did to me.”

price knows you’re talking about simon. the whole team knew you were a thing. hell, when they’d strapped you to that chair and debated who would ‘interrogate’ you, they hadn’t even thought to include simon. why would he want to torture the person he loved?

to their surprise, he had volunteered to take point.

“when i get out of this bed,” you continue. “im gone. and i never, never, want to see any of you again, or else im putting a fucking bullet between your eyes.”

the captain doesn’t speak. you can see the remorse on his face. you couldn’t care less about his feelings.

he gives a short nod, and without another word, he turns and leaves the room.

after john’s visit, no one else tries to visit you. you no longer catch glimpses of kyle or johnny outside the infirmary door. you’re glad they’re starting to get the hint.

but you’re still getting flowers. you don’t know where they’re coming from. sometimes they’re dropped off by a nurse, other times they appear in the morning after a restless sleep. there’s never a note. never anything to suggest who would be leaving them.

you know it’s one of the 141, but you don’t know exactly who. you feel certain it’s not simon.

but, unbeknownst to you, it is him. he knows you don’t want to see him— to see any of them. price had told them all about what you’d said to him during your talk.

price had also told them that he’d already started preparing your transfer papers. that had caused an uproar from soap, who’d quickly been quieted by a saddened price.

simon had expected it. expected worse, actually. he knew that if the roles had been reversed, he wouldn’t have been as merciful as you. it made him hate what they’d done to you so much more.

there had been the tiniest doubt in his mind when all the evidence pointed to you. he hadn’t believed it at first— and then things became damning. everything pointed to you. trusted sources were pointing their fingers at you, and everyone listened. he had listened.

he had volunteered to torture you because he’d been angry. rage he hadn’t felt in years bubbled to the surface of his skin, and he wanted to tear you limb from limb. how dare you come into their lives— his life— and betray them so substantially?

simon didn’t trust easily. he was battered and broken and scarred. shattered and malformed pieces hastily glued back together. he let the team in. let you in. let you see his face. let you into his bed. let you into his fucking heart.

and you turned around and drove a dagger into him. or so he thought.

he thought his anger and actions had been justified. thought he was doing the world a favor by butchering you. but he was wrong. the team was wrong.

he finds himself regretting how he hadn’t listened to your pleas, but there’s nothing he can do about it now.

he knows the chances of you forgiving him, of letting him back into your life, are slim to none. but how could he not at least try?

you’d know each other for years. been together for years. all of it thrown away because he still knew the hurt of betrayal all too well. because it was too easy to fall back into the mindset that it was him against everyone. that the only person he knew, the only one he could rely on, was himself.

so he left flowers. your favorite ones. and he did so without making you face him, without apologizing or groveling. it was the least he owed you.

a month after your coma, you were finally allowed out of the infirmary. you were still healing, skin still tender and bruised. pink, jagged scars lining your skin; eternal reminders of the pain you’d been subjected to.

you’d been given a t-shirt and a pair of jeans, which you’d pulled on with much fuss. every time you struggled or stumbled, you found yourself getting angry. angry at the men who did this to you.

the anger was going to eat you alive, at least that’s what the psychologist that had been dropping by to see you had said. she’d told you you need to let it go, and you’d laughed in her face.

how do you let something like this go?

you didn’t know. you didn’t think you were strong enough to do that. not a good enough person to forgive the men that had carved into you.

once you had dressed, you shuffled out into the hallway. you’d profusely denied an escort, and the doctor had reluctantly acquiesced. she’d let you go, with just the promise that you’d keep your iv hooked in.

so here you were, trudging down the halls of the base, iv pole rattling along behind you.

you could feel eyes on you, but no one dared to get too close. you were glad. you didn’t want more empty apologies and sympathetic words.

you still remembered the way to price’s office like the back of your hand. you doubted you’d ever forget it.

time and time again you’d found yourself here. sometimes, getting reprimanded. others, congratulated. a few times you’d shown up in tears, and price had let you in without a word.

now you were standing outside his door, trying to contain the rage in your veins.

you raised a hand. knocked once, firm and loud.

“come in!” price called from inside.

you were already twisting the door knob, pushing into the room.

your eyes found price first. he was leaning against his desk, arms crossed over his chest. his hat was absent from his head, instead resting beside him on the desk.

and then you noticed simon.

he was wearing all black. his hands were covered, bones decorating the black gloves. gloves you’d seen many times before. gloves that had been pressed to gunshots, trying to stop the bleeding.

the lower half of his face was covered, allowing you to see from his eyes up. his sandy blonde hair was ruffled.

you quickly turned your attention back to price.

“love, what are you doin’ here? you should be in bed—” he began, but you waved a hand as you stepped further into the room. you pulled your iv pole in behind you, then kicked the door shut.

“don’t talk, just listen. i still mean what i said when you came to visit. the only reason im here right now is because you haven’t put in for my fucking transfer.” you hissed.

the captain’s eyes widened, his face taking on a sheepish expression at the revelation that he’d been caught. simon stood quietly beside him, eyes trained on you. you ignored him.

“love, i didn’t want to do anything before you were ready—” he began. you cut him off.

“bullshit! you didn’t want to do anything because you don’t want me to leave. you want me to forgive you, right? hear you all out? come back and be a happy little family again?”

the room fell eerily silent as you stared at the captain. your heart was roaring in your ears.

“put in the fucking transfer, john.” you finished.

he reluctantly nodded. he inhaled, his eyes glancing at his lieutenant briefly, before he spoke again.

“of course, love. ‘m sorry.”

you didn’t say anything else. you turned to go, your back to the men, when simon’s voice cut through the air.

“you should be respectful to your captain, sergeant.”

you froze as you took in his words. was he fucking serious?

you didn’t turn around. you trained your eyes on the door as you spoke words through gritted teeth.

“you should watch your tongue, lieutenant, before I fucking cut it off.”

with that, you pulled open the door and stepped into the hallway, slamming it loudly behind you.

author’s note:

apologies for the wait! I hope everyone enjoyed! (this is being posted before proofreading, so I hope it’s okay— I’ll read through it later, it’s just late and im tired lol)

[shadow4-1]

I'm just imagining having spent the night with a lover who isn't in the 141, only to wake up the next morning and there's in intervention waiting for you in the rec room.

Like, at first you're just confused. But when Price opens his mouth to ask you about how you slept...you have a bit of a meltdown. Why does it matter? Why is everyone staring at you? What's going on?

Soap grabs the collar of your t-shirt and pulls it down so everyone can get a look at the dark hickies dotting your neck. You slap his hand away, tears in your eyes.

"So all of you can do whatever you want? Sneak bitches on base and fuck around at all the bars we pass through! But I'm not allowed to do anything with someone I actually like?!"

It hurts. It feels like you're being stripped bare in front of them.

Price sighs, his gaze softens. It's obvious he doesn't want to have this conversation but something you've done has given him no choice. Soap just stands a few feet away, chest puffed out, eyeing you with a strange annoyance. You know if you try to leave he'll stop you.

"You are...not in the same position as us." Price tries and winces. He's obviously not putting his thoughts into soft enough words, but he continues. "You are...it is our responsibility to keep you safe."

"Safe? You're trying to keep me safe?" Your voice is raised higher than you've ever raised it at Price. "Safe by what? Fighting off all the guys at the bars? Safe by spreading lies about me to all of the PMCs and the other Task Forces?"

Price just closed his eyes and set his jaw. He had to know about the subterfuge you'd been experiencing for well over a couple years now. Everyone in the room was guilty as charged.

"You're and asset. And you're also a liability." Ghost speaks up, eyes narrowed, stance way too relaxed against the metal folding chair he sits in. "Do you remember what happened to the 7th Division?"

Saliva pools in your mouth, a sudden queasiness filling your stomach. Yeah, of course you remembered. Their beloved medic had been kidnapped by a group of angry drug lords using a mercenary group as their muscle. The 7th Division had gone in guns blazing to get their member back and well...they'd been wiped out. And their star medic they'd sacrificed everything for? She'd been brainwashed and inducted into the very agency that stole her away.

KORTAC

"Are you saying what I think you're saying?" You mutter. "Please tell me you're not."

"We can't have you fraternizing with anyone." Price states smoothly. "As our medic, you have a responsibility to us, your team. We can't have you getting caught up in something bigger."

"I understand what you're saying, but can't you see how ridiculous this is?" You try to reason. "I'm human, I have- god this is embarrassing. I h-have wants and...needs, just like you guys."

The silence is loud. You can't meet anyone's gaze. Price steps closer to you, swallowing hard. His next few words are spoken softly, conspiratorially.

"All of your needs will be taken care of. We will never let you suffer by yourself."

Price cocks his head to the men before you both. All of them straighten beneath his gaze. Price places a hand on the small of your back.

"Whatever it takes." He commands them. "I better not hear or see anything. Do I make myself clear?"

A trio of "yessirs" bounce off the white walls. Price just smiles and nods. He pats your back.

"There we go. You'll be fine." He sighs. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to talk to your guest."

Your eyes widen, your throat drops into your stomach.

"Wait!"

"We've got ye, Bonnie. You n' all yer needs."

Six hands are on you from several different angles. Their massive frames block out the fluorescent lights.

"Ah, where are you goin'?" Gaz chuckles, his arm wraps around your belly.

You try to run after Price but the rec room door is slammed shut and locked. You try to push the closest man away, but he just grins down at you.

[bro-atz]

that's what roommates are for

in which: you're extremely frustrated, and your roommates can't help but overhear.

pair: yunho/san/mingi/afab!reader

word count: 2.7k

content: smut, slight themes of voyeurism, foursome/gang bang, slight hand kink, oral, anal, double (+ triple) penetration, fluid bonding-ish, definitely filthy, unprotected sex (PLS USE PROTECTION IRL!), creampies, completely consensual!

rated: R | nsfw — minors do not interact

author's note: tbh i can't remember why i started writing this... but i know i want to blame @skteezcursed for some reason... also thank you @bunny4yungi for helping me with some of the details of this fic!

You didn’t know this, but the guys could hear you. You thought that they were too invested in playing video games that they wouldn’t be able to hear you playing with yourself and your vibrator, but they heard every single noise coming from your room. They specifically paused their video game so they could hear your soft, stifled moans and sighs of pleasure, all three of them getting real fucking hard with every passing second.

You just needed release, honestly. It felt like it had been centuries since you had a nice, good fuck, and you were super pent up. However, a vibrator did nothing for you, and you didn’t have the energy to use a dildo. You struggled trying to get yourself to cum for a solid several minutes before officially throwing in the towel and calling it a day.

The second they heard the vibrator turn off, the men resumed their video game, all three of them trying their hardest to ignore the lewd sounds coming from your room just moments prior and their rock solid cocks. It certainly did not help when you joined them in the living room wearing nothing but shorts and a tank top— it was hot outside and in the apartment, and you weren’t about to sweat to death— and sitting down in front of the couch right next to Yunho’s legs.

You watched as the three of them fixated on their video game, unaware of the tension starting to build in the room. San was sitting in the arm chair and Mingi in the love seat, both of them stealing secret glances at you while Yunho did his best to keep his knee from bobbing up and down nervously as you rested your head against his leg, nor did he dare look down at you knowing that he would get an eyeful of your cleavage.

The second the round of the game ended, all three of them set their controllers aside and looked right at you. You, however, were still absentmindedly staring at the screen.

"Hey, roomie, you okay?" Yunho was the first to speak and somewhat hesitant at that.

He reached down towards your head and smoothed out your hair, making you tilt your head towards his leg. You let out a heavy sigh, your chest moving heftily, nearly getting all three boys to gag.

"Yeah... I'm fine..."

"That doesn't sound fine to me. Spill."

When you turned to look up at Yunho, your breasts pressed against his leg, making his entire body tense up and flush with heat. Then, you looked up at him with big, sad eyes that made him want to grab you and take you right there, but he held himself back because, oh dear Lord, you were his roommate for crying out loud.

"I'm just... Tired," you answered— and that was the truth. You were tired. You were tired of being so goddamn sexually frustrated, but there was no way in hell you were going to admit that to him or any of your other roommates. "Don't worry about it— It's not like you can do anything about it."

"Nuh-uh, don't do that girl thing where we ask you and then you keep deflecting and then get mad at us for not helping," Mingi spoke up, a little frustration in his voice.

"Yeah, plus, I'm sure if you told us, we could help in some way," San added, his voice nearly cracking as he realized the weight of his words.

"No, guys, seriously. I'm not doing that "thing", and I'm honestly just tired!"

"Would, uh, going to bed help?" Mingi asked while clearing his throat.

"You would think it would..." you muttered.

"Y/N, just tell us," Yunho prompted.

You pressed your lips together in a straight line then looked down at the ground. Oh, I'm just really fucking horny and frustrated and can't find a good guy to fuck is all. As if you could ever really admit that to your three male roommates.

"It's nothing," you said again. "I'm just going to go to bed. Good night, guys."

With that, you got up and left the three of them in the living room. You returned to your room, closed the door, and flung yourself onto your bed with a massive sigh. You stared at the ceiling while you tried to figure out what the hell to do about your fucking situation when you heard a light knock on the door.

"Come in," you said to the person on the other side.

Yunho walked in and closed the door gently behind him before joining you on the bed. You were still laying down and couldn't be bothered to sit up, so Yunho joined you and laid down right next to you, his body turned towards yours.

"Hey," he said softly.

"Hi..."

"Look at me," he continued while turning you over so that you were facing him.

His hand caressed your head as the two of you laid across from each other, the repetitive motion easing your anxiety slightly and also turning you on a bit.

"Tell me what's wrong."

"I can't say, Yunho..."

"Then... Can I say something?"

You blinked and nodded. Yunho pressed his lips together and closed his eyes for a brief second before trailing his hand from your head down your shoulder and to your waist, his fingers rubbing along the curve of your waist as he rested his hand there. You wanted to tear yourself from your roommate's touch, but he was just checking off all the boxes and making you feel just right that you wondered where on Earth he was going to go from there.

"We heard you earlier," he whispered.

He didn't need to clarify for you to understand exactly what he was talking about. Mortified, you covered your burning face with your hands and held back a scream, your entire body ready to burst into flames.

"And," he continued despite you praying in your head that he would not. "We would like to help... In any way..."

"Yunho, shut up," you nearly sobbed into your hands. "I'm literally so embarrassed right now."

"Y/N, I don't think you understand what I'm trying to say," Yunho let out a slightly exhausted sigh as he pulled your hands away from your face. "Whatever it is that's frustrating you, I'm sure we can help."

The second you looked into Yunho's eyes, your insides flipped. His eyes were usually soft and kind, but at that moment, he had the most intense gaze on you that made you feel like you were a piece of meat and he was starving to death.

That's when you did the unthinkable. You moved forward and left the lightest kiss on his lips before immediately moving back and looking at his reaction, your eyes darting back and forth as you observed every single detail on his face. Next thing you knew, Yunho's hand slipped to your ass, and he brought you forward, his lips meeting yours gently at first. It wasn't until you ran your fingers through the hair on the back of his head did Yunho get a lot more aggressive. He sucked hard on your lower lip before slipping his tongue into your mouth.

"Tell me," he breathed out, his hot breath hitting your neck. "What do you want?"

"I... I want to be fucked senseless," you responded in between kisses. "Until I can't cum anymore."

In response, Yunho pulled your leg over and around his legs, allowing him to press his crotch against yours, the large bulge sending shivers down your spine. You didn't expect him to be so packed, and he was still wearing his clothes, so it made you nervous to see exactly what he was working with.

"So, then," Yunho pulled back slightly, allowing you to breathe and regain the tiniest bit of sanity— he was an amazing kisser. "Will you let us help you?"

"God, yes, please," you agreed before the words could completely sink in. Gulping nervously, you asked, "What do you mean by us?"

You thought Yunho closed the door completely when he entered your room, but he didn't. Through the slight crack in the door, your other two roommates watched, their hard ons only getting harder and more painful. They wanted so badly to jump in and lend a hand, and they finally got that chance when Yunho turned to the door and said, "Don't just stand there and watch. Come help."

You sat up immediately and watched San and Mingi tentatively enter the room, their faces flushed, their eyes dark. They joined the two of you on the bed, all three men trapping you in the middle of them. Yunho was directly in front of you. He held your chin and tilted your head upwards.

"Suck my fingers, won't you?"

The filthy words leaving his mouth with the sweetest voice had your insides completely trembling. You took his hand in yours and slowly ran your tongue along his index finger before taking it into your mouth. Yunho's breath hitched as you looked up at him and sucked his finger so sensually. He was about to lose his fucking mind when you took another finger into your mouth, a slight whine leaving your lungs as your panties pooled with arousal and your hips moved back and forth impatiently.

San was the first to act. From behind, he reached in between your legs and started rubbing his fingers into your clothed crotch, your hips moving in sync with his fingers. But that wasn't enough. You needed more— way more.

Your hands hooked into the waistband of Yunho's pants and tugged down, his cock catching on the waistband before springing upwards. He was long and pretty, and you tried to calculate how big he actually was, but he barely gave you the chance to do so. He took his fingers out of your mouth and immediately replaced it with his cock. The tip hit the back of your throat almost immediately, making you gag. He placed his hand on the back of your head and guided you slowly until you bottomed out on his full length.

As you sucked Yunho's cock, San pushed you forward so that you were forced onto your hands and knees. He pulled your shorts down and immediately smacked your bare ass as if it was some sort of reflex, making you yelp and moan. His fingers rubbed along your wet folds a couple times before he sunk two of his fingers into your cunt, your toes curling as you felt him finger you roughly.

While San worked on you from behind, Mingi decided to work on your tank top. He scrunched up fabric in the middle and pulled downwards to release your breasts, the man inhaling sharply when he saw them jiggle slightly. He cupped your breast and massaged firmly before he rubbed and tugged on your nipples, your back arching as a result.

At that point, Mingi couldn't take it anymore. He pulled his own massive cock out and somehow moved your face towards his cock. When you took him into your mouth, you realized he was just as long as Yunho, but the corners of your mouth stung slightly because he was definitely girthier. A long, rumbling moan left Mingi's throat when you hollowed out your cheeks and began sucking obnoxiously loud. You were stroking Yunho's cock as you sucked on Mingi's, and San, who wanted some fun of his own, also pulled out his cock, willing you to stroke him too.

You took turns sucking all three men off, your saliva dripping off their dicks as your mouth watered more and more the longer you sucked. But, again, you needed more. You needed them inside you. You needed them to violate you.

Moments later, you were on your hands and knees on your bed once again. Yunho was lying on the bed underneath you, Mingi was kneeling behind you, and San was in front of you. They wasted no time in getting to work. Yunho slipped the tip of his cock into your cunt before holding your waist and sitting you down all the way.

"Oh, fuck! Yunho, you're too big," you nearly sobbed when you felt him hit your cervix when he bottomed out.

"Oh, then you're definitely going to lose it now," Mingi couldn't help but smirk when the tip of his cock prodded into your ass.

You cried loudly when Mingi forced his cock into you inch by inch, your tight hole spreading wide to fit his girth. Your cry was cut short when San stuffed his own cock into your mouth, the man shushing you as he did so.

"Yes, just like that," San groaned. "Fuck, you feel so good..."

You were so occupied by San's cock that you didn't realize Yunho was guiding your waist up and down. You only realized that you were bouncing when you felt Mingi's go deeper inside you. Tingles shot through your body as you felt their cocks rubbing and reaching all the right spots, and when Mingi smacked your ass before grabbing so tightly that his fingernails dug slightly into your skin, you felt tension build up in your stomach at an exponential rate.

Suddenly, San's breathing hitched. He grabbed the back of your head and pulled his cock, but before he could cum, you managed to take him back into your mouth. His cock twitched and throbbed as his cum spurt into your mouth, his eyes rolling to the back of his head and his jaw unhinging slightly as he came. After blinking the stars from his eyes, he looked at you and bit his lower lip while petting your hair, his cock still rock solid in your mouth.

You were quickly brought back to the situation when Yunho bucked his hips upwards, his cock practically ramming into your cervix as he came. Your legs trembled, and you let out a choked sob as you felt the tension snap within you. White filled your vision and pleasure swept through your body as you came hard. Yunho raised your waist off his hips entirely, and you squirted all over him and the bed when his cock left you, his own cum mixed with your arousal. Both his and your cum then rolled down your legs slowly, Yunho salivating at the sight and getting turned on all over again.

Mingi's cock was still deep in your ass, and he spread your asscheeks wide before pulling out, the sight of your gaping hole driving him insane. He just had to re-enter you because he was so close to bursting, and he desperately wanted to fill you up with his cum. He rammed his hips against your ass over and over again with so much force that you practically collapsed on Yunho's chest, and he was being so forceful that you were crying with pleasure so loudly that it echoed in the room. To make matters even crazier, Yunho sat up slightly so he could reach in between your legs and finger you quickly while San wrapped his hand around your neck and pressed into the sides lightly, choking you and making you feel absolutely wrecked.

Yunho's fingers curled inside you just right to the point where you came yet again, and this time you came so hard that you clenched tightly around Mingi's cock, the intense pressure making him cum with you. You gasped for air and moaned loudly when San let go of your neck to rest his hand on your cheek as if to praise you. He tugged on your lower lip with his thumb, making you instinctually take his thumb into your mouth and sucking on it.

Mingi pulled out and spread your ass once more to look at his work. He watched as your hole clenched around air several times before the cum he shot deep into you started coming to the surface and trickling out and rolling down your ass and leg.

"Shit, this is so fucking hot," Mingi uttered to himself as he couldn't tear his eyes away from you. "You're so fucking hot."

"Y/N is so fucking hot," San added as he tapped his cock against your cheek. "Very fucking hot... We should do this more often."

"What if..." you breathed out— you were still catching your breath. "What if I'm not done with you yet?"

"Hmm? You still don't feel good?" Yunho teased as he moved your hair from your face, willing you to look at him. "Do you want more?"

"Yes, please."

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