#let me know if i missed a bullet point because i wouldn't put it past myself lol

[theamityelf]

How does mini thh and sdr2 cast pet place look like? I remember aoi had cup as swimming pools but how about others? I'm sorry if confusing English isn't my first language.

(Mini Classmates AU Masterlist)

This is a great question (and your English is perfectly fine)!

This is just a brainstorm, but here's what I'm thinking right now.

Edit: Also, these descriptions don't really include decorations, so for most of them assume there's also work done to decorate, etc.

Mini THH AU

Okay, first, let's look at the standard SDR2 room (with the understanding that some people have bookshelves, etc.)

Most of the senpais would put their kouhai's living space on the long, wooden piece of furniture beneath the TV. (Would we call that a dresser? A TV stand? Idk.) It's a lot of space for a tiny person to walk around, and they can get to the little cushioned seat from there.

Makoto- Nagito is very resourceful, so he would set up a very practical living space for Makoto. I'm thinking the bed is an empty matchbox wrapped in bubblewrap, or something of the sort, and any fabric can serve as a blanket. It's comfortable, creative, and simple. The bed is positioned in the little corner near the cushioned seat, so he doesn't get too much direct sunlight. There's a call bell nearby, in case he needs to get Nagito's attention, since it would be really hard for him to make himself heard otherwise, especially if Nagito is asleep. He also makes sure the floor below is covered in soft things, in case Makoto falls or, in extreme cases, needs to jump. (He lectures Makoto that, if someone ever breaks in to kill Nagito, he should jump down and hide under the cushioned seat, where they won't be able to reach him. And he asks that Makoto not rat out the killer, as that would ruin the game and it's Nagito's final wish that he not ruin the game.)

Kyoko- Hajime folds up a blanket and puts it in a shoebox for her. That's where she sleeps. She frequently climbs out and wanders around; she is very rarely still there when he wakes up. It scares him half to death, how she just disappears on him. Her general attitude toward that is "I understand why you feel that way, but I need to investigate, so it can't be helped."

Byakuya- I'm going to say that Sonia converts a jewelry box into a multi-story house for him. There are stairs and everything. His blankets are handkerchiefs monogrammed with her initials. There are snacks, and there is a water bottle like the kind hamsters use, which Gundham taught her how to make. Byakuya has gone out of his way to optain a pin light, and once they have access to the library, he uses an open book as the fourth wall of his little house. So, he can read at night.

Aoi- I think at some point I said something like "Akane gives her a fish bowl", but I think it might be more of a bin of water. Like, a rectangular bin, long enough that she can kind of swim laps. Her bed is a shoebox with a blanket inside. She has a cup of water, separately, in case she gets thirsty, and a plate with a doughnut on it (covered by plastic wrap, to avoid attracting bugs). And I think Akane might at some point worry about Hina having a balanced diet, so maybe there's some chicken alongside the doughnut. As a late night snack.

Yasuhiro- Bowl with a blanket.

Toko- Gundham creates a little room. Like Nagito, he fashioned a bed with an actual attempt at a sturdy box covered by a cushioning surface in addition to whatever serves as a blanket. He makes sure she has paper, something to write with, and a light. Every night, he makes sure her living space is clean (no dust or pet hair that would make her sneeze) before he sends her to bed. The walls and ceiling of her terrarium are formed by an upside-down shoebox with a hole cut into it for a door. She also has a window cut into it, through which she can drink from another hamster-style water bottle if she wants. On one hand, I'm sure Gundham makes every attempt to prevent his hamsters from bothering her, but on the other hand, I like to imagine Toko cuddling with one of them in her sleep. Like, Gundham wakes up and sees only three hamsters in whatever cage or habitat they sleep in, and he takes the box off of Toko's room and find her cuddling with San-D. I just think it would be sweet.

Sayaka- Shoebox with a blanket. And there's a kazoo in it that is too big for her to use, and maybe a small teddy bear or other stuffed animal.

Mukuro- Shoebox with a blanket.

Leon- Shoebox with a blanket, but there's also a fun tiny obstacle course. And the hanging plant is taken down, so that Leon can climb into it if he needs to, because Nekomaru knows all about late night bathroom breaks, and there's no judgement here. It's all fertilizer, man!

Chihiro- Kazuichi goes all out. Chihiro has a working shower, a working toilet (empties into the trash can), a working fan, and a covered living space with a motorized door.

Mondo- Shoebox with a blanket, which Fuyuhiko places on a small table that he pulls close to his bed, on the side that can't be accessed from the door. There's another shoebox with a blanket (a decoy one) on the dresser, but Mondo sleeps in the one by his bed.

Taka- His bed is a shoebox with a blanket, but it's in bed with Mikan rather than on a dresser or table. She stuffs pillows around it, to make sure it doesn't fall out of the bed while she's sleeping. (That's just where he sleeps; he does have a little space on the dresser, where he can get dressed and walk around and stuff.) Sometimes, in her sleep, Mikan will reach into the box to make sure he's still there. So, like...imagine you're sleeping and a giant finger just lightly grazes your back.

Hifumi- Upside-down shoebox with one wall removed and a blanket under it. Instead of the dresser, he's on her photography desk in the far corner, so when he wakes up, he steps out of the box and looks at her photos in the light of the rising sun.

Celeste- Chiaki builds an elaborate, multi-shoebox house that is cool but completely impractical. There is a bed, but it's very difficult to navigate to. Celeste just drags her blanket down to the cushioned seat and sleeps there.

Sakura- Hiyoko just straight up puts Sakura in bed with her, with nothing to prevent Hiyoko from rolling over and squishing her. She also sleeps with a few stuffed animals and a bag of gummy bears.

Junko- Shoebox with a blanket, suspended where the hanging plant once was to avoid letting her get into any mischief while he's sleeping. (Imposter has calculated the elevation, relative to her size, and determined that if she fell or jumped, she wouldn't die; she would just be too injured to do anything else.)

Mini Senpais AU

Now, let's see the standard THH room. (Except ignore the sword, lol.)

The viable surfaces there are the table, desk, and shelf.

Nagito- He's on the table, which is pulled relatively close to Makoto's bed, with a bridge between them so he can wake or otherwise access Makoto if he needs to. He has a flashlight and some reading materials. His bed is a shoebox with one side cut out and a blanket inside. He has a pillowcase acting as a shade/tent over his living space. He also (upon his own request) has a rope or ladder allowing him to climb down to the floor if he wants to. It's pretty cool.

Hajime- Shoebox with a blanket, on the shelf. Specifically, the part of the shelf that can't be seen from the door. And Kyoko might use strategically-positioned laundry to keep people from looking in that corner too closely. It's against the rules to let one's senpai die; best to be careful. She can't solve the mystery if she loses him.

Sonia- Byakuya takes the drawers out of his desk and makes that emptied space Sonia's room. A watch box serves as the bed, a cufflink box serves as her wardrobe, and a handkerchief hangs as a shade for privacy. At least for the first night; he'll commission one of the other boys (probably Hifumi) to build something with a roof. Namely, it would be a four-wall dollhouse that opens with a latch and hinge. It stays open all the time, though, because Sonia feels kind of claustrophobic, knowing she can't open it once it's closed. Byakuya didn't intend it as a power trip; it just seemed like the most luxurious option. Also, there's a jewelry chandelier. Byakuya interior decorates the crap out of that thing.

Akane- Shoebox with a blanket, on the desk. Hina also pulls out the drawers to act like a ladder, so Akane can wander the room as much as she wants. And there are snacks in the top drawer. The issue is, Hina likes to run laps around her room in the morning, and Akane thinks it's fun to run around while she's doing that and narrowly avoid getting crushed, which is terrifying for Hina.

Teruteru- Shoebox with a blanket, on the table. There are windchimes dangling above it, and whoever wakes up first rings the windchimes.

Gundham- He's on the shelf. Toko probably gives him a towel from the bathroom to sleep on. It's soft enough, and he can fold a corner over himself for a blanket.

Ibuki- Pillow on the shelf.

Peko- Shoebox with a blanket, on the desk.

Nekomaru- Shoebox with a blanket, on the shelf.

Kazuichi- On the table. Chihiro initially goes the shoebox-with-a-blanket route and feels pretty proud of it, but finding out that a lot of people did that and considered it the low-effort, obvious option, Chihiro feels ashamed and tries to build something with the tool kit. It doesn't come out very good, because they've never built anything like that before, and Kazuichi reassures them that he likes the shoebox. It's comfortable. It works.

Fuyuhiko- Shoebox with a blanket, on the table.

Mikan- Taka sets up curtains all around the desk so she can have privacy. He makes a bed for her out of his watch box and makes sure she always has food and water in her living space. She has a call bell in case she needs anything.

Mahiru- Hifumi makes her house before he makes one for anyone else, which accidentally results in hers being the most basic one. It's like a birdhouse, which she doesn't mind; she can go in and out of it without needing to ask for help, and she has the privacy of four walls. Hifumi's glasses case is her bed.

Chiaki- Celeste asks Hifumi to build a dollhouse for her. (The open-front kind.) Super aesthetic, super functional.

Hiyoko- She's on the shelf. Rather than on top of the shelf, Sakura gives her an interior level of the shelf, which she lines with a blanket and fills with soft things. (She found some stuffed animals in the warehouse, and Hiyoko likes them a lot; she sleeps on the tummy of a stuffed rabbit.) And there's a bell, in case Hiyoko needs something.

Imposter- There is no telling where Imposter is, in this one, but for the moment it seems he's just outside the school doing despair stuff.

[rosainta]

Day 2 of Rosain Quivan’s Daily Logs

Started December 7, 2023 at 10:00PM, Home

Finished December 8, 2023 at 10:42PM, Home

Log #2

Author's Notes:

I started this yesterday from a sudden shower inspiration thought. Who would’ve known that the most bizarre of ideas could be generated while cleansing yourself?

Anyway, this idea is just pure dialogue between Sniper and Scout from Team Fortress 2. No romance implied, but you could interpret it that way. I'll be completely honest with you- I'm very adamant when it comes to accurately representing their relationship, whether it be in a canon-compliant friendship / coworker way or in a romantic setting (specifically the latter, since I have to admit that I am an intense Speeding Bullet fan, though of course I love any other old depiction of the two, as well as other ships as long as they are respectfully expressed). Though this adamant demeanor towards accuracy helps me find out what I like to see in works including these two goofballs, I'm not entirely sure if I can transform those standards into my own writing... since I've never tried it yet! So, take this as another practice round, this time more centred on character depiction and dialogue (that, hopefully, doesn't sound like a cringey 15-year-old's WattPad fanfiction...)

Warning: a few colourful words here and there.

If you want a part 2 for this, let me know down below! I'll be happy to write anything, though. And also, if you have any feedback, please let me know! I strongly appreciate it :-)

Title: Intention. Fandom: Team Fortress 2 Third-person objective New Mexico, Badlands, Badwater Basin, (fixed the order; that was bugging me last time), RED Sniper's Campervan Around 3:15AM, sometime during the Gravel War

“Snipes... Snipes, you awake?”

A long pause. Then, the sound of dog chains jingling. A bed creaks violently.

“Sniper, get up, you gotta help me here!”

A low grunt, a shift in the covers.

“Ngh… can’t this wait? It's..."

A shift in the sheets, someone leaning to squint towards a clock.

"Crikey, half past three?! What in God's name do you think you're doing?"

"Trying to wake your sleepy ass up, stupid!"

A loud groan. Possibly the sound someone rubbing their temples together.

"Did you know that the average human being needs shut-eye to survive? Ain't that wild? Or perhaps you didn't come along to learnin' that at kindie yet?"

"Oh, just... just shut up and help me out, will ya? Look, I'm sorry it's so late, but this is really, really urgent, okay? And this concerns more than just the both of us, but you were the closest person I could find, so I need you here. I promise, I'll be outta your hair after all this."

A sigh.

"... if this is an emergency with the sheila again, go ask Spy. I'm sure he'll be 'appy to see your squirmy little arse again."

"Hah! Yeah, as if. He's probably out screwin' the Eiffel tower or somethin'; wouldn't wanna see, much less hear that, though I can only imagine the snorting sound he'll make when he- argh, anyway, that's besides the point! Point is, it's not about Miss P, it's about..."

A pause.

"...it's about what? Who?"

"Well, it's about Engie..."

Another pause.

"...and? Come on, Scout, get to the point, or I'm going back to sleep."

"Okay, okay! Well, I don't exactly know how to put this, but I think- or at least I have a feelin'- that he might, maybe, possibly, be workin' ... for BLU."

The bed creaks again.

"What, you think we got an enemy Spy in the base?"

"No, it's not that. He passed the security check earlier, because I was on rounds for that today. I think that our Engie, like the real one, well, I think he's double-crossin' us or somethin'."

"And why do ya' think?"

"Well, this afternoon, near the intel room, I was sorting my comics out when I saw him doin' this thing, where he would be all suspicious lookin' and shifty-eyed, then he'd pull out one of those 'computah' things, or whatever they're called, and start typin' really fast, like he was in a rush or something. Then, whenever someone passed him, he'd shut the screen down really quickly like this-"

A clap.

"- and would look at the person with a goofy little grin, as if he wasn't just sendin' some, I don't know, ransom photos of someone's wife a few seconds ago. He even had the audacity to wave to Pyro when it walked by, and I think even it found it a bit weird 'cuz it made this strange garbly noise I've never heard it make before. But anyway, he'd open it again and do the same thing over and over again until it was lights out. It was so suspicious. I didn't say anything then, 'cuz, you know, I didn't want him to know I was staring at him like a creep or somethin-"

"Which you are."

"Whatever, now, get this-"

A dramatic pause. Two hands are slapped on someone's shoulders.

"I go back to my room, and you know how his is right next to mine?Well, I wait outside the door, and I'm about to say 'good night' or something like that and maybe sneak in a question about his secret porn addiction, but... he doesn't go to his room. No, he turns the corner, goes out... and starts headin' in the direction of BLU's base."

Silence for a moment.

"You sure he wasn't just, you know, heading out for a hookup or somethin'? I hear a lot of people south-east go troppo for one-night-stands."

A slight shaking movement from the hands to someone's shoulders, dog chains jingling.

"Argh, Snipes, freakin' please?! I'm bein' serious here. He doesn't usually do that, I'd know because every night he plays those cheesy old cowboy country songs on his radio and goes to sleep, which keeps me up all night because I can hear it through the freakin' wall. And don't you think it's a bit strange how he was reacting when he was on the 'puter? No one would do that, even if it's for a hot night out."

A hand grips one of the latter's on someone's shoulder, as if to push it off.

"Well, maybe for bogans like you, who don't have the slightest bit of public decency when it comes to flirtin' with any skirt you see. And what right do you have stickin' your nose in his business? He could have as well been headin' back to Teufort to buy some quick supplies for his sentries, or hell, maybe even just going to see The Admin."

"Well, actually..."

The hands slide off the shoulders.

"I may have trailed him a bit. You know, just outta curiosity."

"You- you followed him? In the middle of the night?"

"Look, man, I had to do what I had to do to make sure that I wasn't going to have my head end up in someone's refrigerator the next day."

"But you do realize that you were being just as suspicious, more so really, as he was by trailing him?"

"Well, yeah, but- okay, look, that don't matter now, alright? What matters now, is that I found out where he was going. And it was the BLU base, I saw him sneaking in without gettin' shot by a sentry or a look-out, but I couldn't stay for long since they woulda caught me instead. But luckily, his little visit wasn't without a little proof. Check what I found-"

Knuckles slide against firm wood as someone picks up a small metallic object from a nearby dresser, holding it in front of them.

"This."

Someone snatches the object, clicks on a lamp, and observes it intently. A sleepy yawn.

"What is it?"

"I think it's called a U.S. Bee, or something? I don't remember what he called it, but he told me it's like a little key you put inside the compooter and it stores, like, info and crap. I don't know, something nerdy that only he and Medic would understand."

"Hm.... An' how do you know it's his?"

An impatient whine.

"I don't know why you're being so skeptic and shit about this, Snipes, I literally told you the story and brought a goddamn piece of useful evidence! Do you still not trust me? What more do you want from me here? A picture of his ass in blue?! Wait a sec- hold on- are you freakin' workin' with him?!"

A quiet sigh, someone shaking their head.

"Alright, mate, I'm sorry, okay? Veg out, now. No, I'm not workin' with 'im, and I do trust you, I really do. It's just that... I find it hard to believe that Engineer of all people, a man with whom we've been working with for 4 years now, would all of a sudden head up and go against his entire team like that, especially in such a dangerous manner when he knows that someone else could be, you know, spyin' on him."

"I wasn't spyin' on him, I was just-"

"You said yourself it don't matter, so it don't. What I'm saying here is that we don't know his intentions here. For all we know, he could be using his little device of his to gather intel on the other team, or he could be, I don't know, doing a secret contract or something. I just feel that it's unfair that we rush to conclusions like that, especially for one of our coworkers who may really be doing us a service, mate."

Quiet for a bit.

"You alright there?"

"No, I- I get it... I just, I just really feel like I found out something critical, you know? Like, it's not everyday you see one of the team be so secretive like that, well, except I guess Spy."

"Well, we all have our own secrets, don't we?"

"Yeah, I guess so."

Quiet. A few gentle pats on the back.

"But... wouldn't it be a good idea to try and find out what that thing, like, has? I mean, you know, just to prove that Engie really didn't have any bad intentions?"

"Yes, but that would be quite a breach, no? He'll most likely be looking for it in the mornin' and if he finds out you were givin' his equipment an unauthorised burl, well, say g'day to your dispenser privileges for the month."

"Well, what if I did it now, while he's still away?"

A pause.

"That's risky."

"I'll be fine."

"Alright, you do you. But how would you know where to start? And if you did get it to work, understanding what you're seeing is another question entirely."

"Hmm..."

Someone rubs their finger over their chin, pondering.

"Oh, I know! Medic, he'll know. Those two dweebs spend so much time doin' those experiments together, I don't doubt he'll know what the heck to do with this. Plus, man probably never sleeps, so it's basically 24/7 with him."

"Okay. Well, chookas with that, mate. I'm heading back to nap. G'night now."

The sheets shift for a moment, before an arm reaches out to stop them.

"Ah, um- thanks, pally. For listenin' and all. I know you don't really believe me or anythin' but, uh, I'm glad you didn't doze off halfway through."

"No worries."

"Yeah."

A pause.

"So, ehm, I'm gonna do that now."

"Oh, yeah, right, I'll head out now. Night, Snipes."

"G'night."

The light clicks out, and a figure scurries away into the night. Then, a sudden shift.

"Wait a minute, how did you get inside?"

Credits: Team Fortress 2 by Valve Image source: Team Fortress 2 Written by Rosain Quivan Cross posted on Amino ( Rosain Quivan )

[dykedalecooper]

the tie between schlatt and pearl in the @mcytblrcringefail semifinals inspired. in true gay castle fashion. the crackship of schlearl. which is now my baby girl. i understand her like no one else does. with the help of assorted gay castle commentators and most especially @minecrois i bring to you. an unedited bullet point list mostly copy pasted from discord of my most central thoughts on schlearl. it's a truly awful name i love it so much

they're dating but they're not dating.  they live together in a shitty third floor apartment.  pearl started smoking different worse cigarettes so that schlatt wouldn't steal hers anymore.  everyone hates that they're dating and none of pearl's friends know schlatt except as here weird asshole roommate boyfriend and they're always like "you know we would support  you if you guys broke up you could always move in with us". like all of her friends are like "pearl come on move back in with us like pick a house and we'll make space for you we miss you you don't seem happy in your shitty apartment with your... boyfriend" and she's like.  "no i am i really like living here"  and no one really accepts it

there's totally a scene were like grian is like.  "you SMOKE" and she's like.  "uhm.  yeah" and he's like "is this about him.  is this why you smoke did he get you into it" and she's like "i have smoked on and off for like 5 years and i have known schlatt for like 3 how would he have "gotten me in" to smoking.  also you literally have a dedicated weed smoking room in your house what are you trying to say to me"

people are like "oh well why don't you guys just break up you seem really miserable" and they turn in unison and go "well we're not miserable thank you very much.  we quite like this actually.  go away.  why don't you tell that to etho and bdubs, hm?  didn't someone throw a printer at someone there? hm?"

pearl works at a gas station but she takes the night shifts.  schlatt works at a walmart but he wont let anyone know where he works

  "no you don't get to know where i work that's between me and god" "and your employer" "and my employer"  "what if it's an emergency" "idk work it out you don't get to know where i work"  "WE LIVE TOGETHER how can you think i wont figure out somehow"  "you won't though". 

they barely see each other because they have opposite shifts.  they yell at each other all the time and its really entertaining and enriching for both of them. 

this is a pearl who gets to be mean, she gets to be dirty and gross and have fun. they're very 25 in a very real and normal way, sort of in contrast to the rest of the hermits and friends inhabiting this modern au, who are relatively well put together even in their dysfunction

pearl is like "well maybe if you let me decorate the apartment" and schlatt is like "the furniture provided is FINE we're NOT going to ikea" and she's like "i was going to go to flea markets and look around but fine" and he's like "we're on the 3rd floor how would you even get flea market furniture up here" and she's like "well fine.  i guess ill go to ikea do you want meatballs" and he's like "why would i want meatballs i hate ikea" and she's like "you like their meatballs you're just hungover go barf and you'll feel better.  bye".  she's also hungover she's just dealing with it better than him

pearl has one of those cute little pet cactus that grian gave her that she repotted because the old pot broke and now its like a medium sized cactus that's too big to be cute and fashionable and it lives on their shitty balcony that's primarily just used for them to smoke at and they have shitty plastic lawn chairs.  you know the ones.  that squeak every time that you reposition them

schlatt and pearl smell like the exact same person and everyone notices and is like "wow they're really close" and like they are but not in the way everyone thinks of, they're close in a secret special way that can only be achieved by dating-not-dating your roommate who you have really weird tension and are weirdly close with. its very very important to understand that they're not actually dating. everyone just thinks they are and they kind of are, but they're not

90% of their clothes are communal and they're all really worn in.  they still get mad at each other for taking "their clothes" but they haven't known who the clothes actually belong to for a really long time

schlatt ingratiates himself.  not on purpose.  to the hermits et al because pearl shares a costco membership with them and so he will often have to drive over and pick up groceries because pearl is asleep or getting ready for work or something

via either @twinprimeconjecture or @faghypnotizd or maybe probably both on the potential for schleralis: it would be a one night stand thing and for some reason schlatt would actually come to a thing with pearl and the rest of the hermits would be there and it would be a very awkward realization and then conversation of schlatt going "wait.  i recognize you [keralis] because we slept together for a brief period like 3 years ago.  and now i'm your friend's friend's roommate boyfriend guy.  and also all of you guys dont like me at all"

[andromedaexists]

I've had a lot of friends reach out to me the past couple days and I just don't have the spoons to respond to all of y'all so I'm gonna say what I need to here:

I love you and appreciate you all. Your condolences and well wishes were received and mean a lot to me.

Now, for those who are not in the loop, I would like to take a moment to tell you about why I haven't been around for a hot minute despite really trying my best to be (under the cut, because good lord are there a lot of heavy topics on the table such as pet loss, depression, mental and physical health and the degradation thereof, stress and anxiety and more)

So, just in a brief bullet point recap, since about july of this years I have:

been switched onto a project at work that put increasingly more important responsibilities on my shoulders despite me saying that i never want to be in that position again

been switched back to my normal project in the middle of a hierarchy shift, therefore not knowing who to contact for literally anything (we're still working this out, btw)

started my final semester of college with 4 classes (reading & translating dead language #1, reading & translating dead language #2, novels in dead language #1, and the history of my native tongue that requires reading in the dead ancient form of it)

found myself being forced into monthly outings with my mother (a test in repairing our relationship that is going... okay)

somehow became integral in a discord (not upset, just not sure how i ended up here frfr)

being told on the first day of classes that i am having surgery ASAP on a cyst (we all know my history with cysts here.. it's not pretty)

the absolute atrocity that blue ridge ended up being. that was supposed to be my relax time, my time to unwind from everything else and i still have not recovered my loss of sleep from being up for 40 hours straight because of how horrible that weekend was

had my surgery cancelled because i'm too fat and then being ghosted by the doctor

had my heart absolutely demolished by a guy I thought I could love, only to be reminded that love is a luxury not afforded to people like me

broke up with my primary care physician because my health is degrading so fucking bad that i literally woke up feeling like i broke my wrist just because. and he still won't take me seriously. i can barely walk at this point, let alone stay awake and functioning longer than 4 hours at a time

had my employee review (that actually went well, but i did get my ass chewed out for low production)

had the world fall apart around me as any hope i had for humanity is shattered

release my book 3 days later because it was too late to change the release day by then

bury myself in a depression hole that i'm learning is normal for authors after their book releases

have to move my grandma into assisted living/memory care

have to immediately move myself out of my apartment with a weeks notice because the stress of living next to violent neighbors was finally getting to me (triggered my past with domestic violence) AND they started harassing me

had to undergo a medical procedure because i can't even eat food without my body rebelling

missed a month of classes because of depression

failed 2 latin tests in a row followed by bombing the midterm which was... great of my mental health especially considering i haven't received anything lower than a B or a C on an exam since ever (i was an honor roll/4.0/gifted studies kid)

Failed a History of the English Language exam because i cannot code switch between German, Latin, and English quickly enough (those are the 3 that comprise middle english btw)

a week after moving into my grandma's house I almost burned it down

found out that someone I really respected and looked up to as a friend was a Zionist

and finally: on Saturday I had to put down the cat I have owned for 15 years. She's undoubtedly older than that, but I was her owner for 15 years. She was my first ESA. I was able to tell my prof I wouldn't be in for the SECOND LATIN MIDTERM on monday because of it so now i have to take it tomorrow, but i couldn't get out of the greek exam or work. I asked for one (1) day off work and was told that my cat dying was not sufficient enough reason for the time off without using PTO (that i don't have because I used it on the absolutely horrible weekend that was Blue Ridge)

So yeah. I haven't been around. I've been more around on twitter but that's mostly me just reposting a bunch of posts about Palestine rn and other posts that my friends make. I'm so fucking exhausted and nauseous and just done. I haven't really written anything either because my work up until now has shown both the horrors of humanity and the underlying hope but I do not have that hope anymore and it hurts

Ironically since I've started working on Desecrate I've started wondering if this is my punishment for straying from God all those years ago. I don't think so but not I gotta add re-working through my religious trauma and my Catholic Guilt to my never ending list of things to do.

If you read this whole thing, kudos to you. I appreciate you all and I'm sorry for dumping it but I have not been able to really say anything about what's going on in my life because i just.. idk I don't have the words for it most days. I'm just tired.

[ssa-thotchnerr]

A Certain Hopelessness

Aaron Hotchner x Daughter!reader

Warnings: angst, kidnapping, violence, swearing, sad!hotch

a/n: some sad Hotch stuff for your angst needs!! Also, there is a creepy unsub here, just a warning. This is set in around s7 and the reader is 15-16

word count: 2.1k

—

There was a feeling of hopelessness that had settled within the BAU over the past 2 days. A feeling of helplessness that was most felt by Aaron Hotchner, who'd been listening to his daughter screaming in pain, begging for him to come and save her. The whole team had the same thought in their head;

They couldn't come and save you because you'd been hidden so well.

But that didn't mean that they weren't going to try, they would try their hardest to find and save the little girl they'd watch grow up for years. But they also know that they couldn't save every single person, they just hoped that you wouldn't be that next person that they couldn't save. No one had even tried to get Hotch to move from his position at the round table, he'd told them that he wouldn't leave you, even though you had no way of knowing that he was there.

He would always be with you.

—

You'd pulled your knees up to your chest to try and obtain some body heat, since sitting on a cold, concrete floor of a basement where it was always constantly breezy didn't give you much of a high temperature. You wished that you hadn't left school early, maybe then you wouldn't be in your current situation.

"Good morning," You looked up at the door at the top of the stairs in fear, seeing the shadow of your kidnapper standing in the door. You winced as you pushed yourself into a corner, trying to make yourself as small as possible. He laughed as he stepped down the creaky stairs, and you saw the silver glint of a knife in his hands. "I hope you slept well, you got a long day ahead of ya'."

"Pl-please don-don't hurt me, I-I won't try to run again! I-I promise," You stuttered, fear filled eyes looking up at him. Through the little light in the basement, you could see the malicious grin on his face. "I'll-I'll do whatever you want, just-just please don't ki-kill me." You begged.

"Oh honey, I don't know if you got this, but I'm not gonna kill you, mainly because I wanna hurt your daddy," He said. "Make him feel like the awful person he is."

"This is about my dad?" You asked him, letting yourself relax a tiny bit. He nodded and crouched down in front of you, pulling you forward by the collar of your no bloodied hoodie.

"Damn right this is about your dad," He snarled, pushing you back into the corner roughly. "Don't you feel awful when he leaves you and that little brother of yours own your own? But then again, he worries about what you'll do to the only child he cares about, he couldn't give a shit about you." You blinked and couldn't help but furrow your eyebrows, feeling your heart sink. You shook your head as you looked up at him.

"Wh-what?" You asked quietly. He chuckled at your confusion and obvious hurt, his plan coming together. He was reversing everything you'd ever known, he knew that your dad loved you and Jack equally, but he could easily make you believe that your dad hated you with every single fibre of his being. He knew you were easily manipulated, and he knew exactly what to say to get you upset.

"Don't act like you don't know, darling. Your dad despises you, he hasn't even got that team looking after you," He said. Your eyes filled with tears as you thought about being left with this man a minute longer, but it hurt even more to think about that your dad didn't care about you enough to look for you. "They left on a case this morning, he told them you didn't matter."

"You-you're lying," You didn't know if you were telling him that he was, or you were trying to convince yourself that he was. "My-my dad wouldn't leave anyone." You said. He chuckled and came closer to you.

"Well, maybe you aren't anyone, you've never appeared to be to your dad," Tears leaked from your eyes as he'd finally, truly broken you down. "Why are you crying? I haven't even started hurting you yet."

—

Hotch couldn't bare to watch this man hurl abuse and untrue thoughts at you much longer, he couldn't watch you be broken down anymore. He shut his eyes as he heard you start screaming, presumably in pain. There was a knock on the door, Hotch spun around on the chair he was sitting on to see who was there.

"Sir, we think we've found a possible suspect on who has Y/N," Garcia told him. "Based on what he'd said in the video earlier, we found that he believes your a bad father to her and Jack, and that she'd be better off with him," She said. It didn't take a criminal profiler to see the hurt flash on the normally stoic Aaron Hotchner's face. "So, taking information with males that had lost a child, we found Craig Brock, he lost his daughter Leona in a car crash last year, And she shares a very, very striking resemblance to your daughter,” Garcia watched as Hotch took in what she was saying. “And with that, Reid determined tha5 he wants you to feel the same helplessness that he had felt when he lost his daughter.” She finished, sliding a picture of the girl across the table to her boss. Hotch took the picture and saw the resemblance, he sighed. He didn't want you to share the same fate as this girl, he didn't want to lose you.

"Do you have an address yet?" He asked.

"I'm working on it sir, but you should have her back by the end of the day," Garcia said, smiling at Hotch, who gave her a small sliver of a smile in return. "You should probably turn that off, or at least go home and see Jack, if anything happens with Y/N or  our Unsub, you'll be the first to know." Hotch sighed as he turned the TV off, turning the volume down and standing up.

“I never thought the day I’d be taking orders from you would come, Garcia,”

—

You grunted as you finally built up enough strength to rip the sleeve off of your hoodie so you could wrap it around your waist where you had been slashed. His words had echoed in your head since he’d even muttered them, did your dad even care about you? Were the team even looking for you? Hell, were they even in the country? You broke down into tears again, your blood coated hands coming up to cover your mouth. They fell back down to your sides when the door was yanked open, almost coming off of its hinges.

“Get up!” He snarled, huffing out in anger when you pushed yourself further into the corner, making yourself as small as possible. “I said, get up.” He practically growled. You sat still, crying out in fear when he grabbed the collar of your hoodie and pulled you up onto your feet roughly.

“Okay! Okay! I-I’m sorry,” You whimpered, holding your hands out in fear. He dragged you up the stairs, you crying all the way up as the pain from your wounds shot up.

“Looks like I was wrong about your dad not caring for you, he and his team are on their way here,” He said in your ear, his arm snaking around your neck and then his free hand holding a gun to your temple. You were shaking, your entire body trembling with fear. “He’s not gonna know what to do when he comes through that door, you’re cut up like a piece of paper.”

“He’ll probably fucking kill you,” You snarled. He was taken back by your sudden change in attitude, and righted his arm around your neck and pushed the barrel of the gun closer to your head.

“Anymore of that, and I’ll put a bullet through your skull,” He said in your ear.

That shut you up quickly.

It felt like hours before the door creaked open, and from the back room, you could see that Emily, Morgan and Reid were entering the house.

“Help! Help!” You screamed, only for a hand to be clamped over your mouth and to be thrown to the floor. His foot was on your neck, a gun pointed between your eyes. Emily, Morgan and Reid all cornered him, their eyes watching as you struggled to breathe, coughing and gasping as you tried to bring air into your lungs. You were beaten black and blue, and covered in blood, they almost didn’t recognise you.

“Craig Brock, let Y/N go,” Emily said calmly. “We know what happened to Leona, and we know that there was nothing you could do to help your daughter. Do you really wanna put another father through the pain of losing their child?” She asked him. In a moment of hesitancy, he removed his foot from your neck, allowing you to cough and then slide away from him. In what seemed as though a move of panic, he shot down at the floor, narrowly missing your head, but just clipping the side of your ear. A ringing noise deafened you, and you screamed.

—

Hotch felt his heart drop as he heard a gunshot and then a scream. Emily had ordered him to stay outside, she didn’t want him doing something that he would end up regretting. Minutes later, the front door opened again, only this time you were there, Spencer’s arm around your waist to support you and your arm around his shoulder. Walking out of there, you looked so small and scared. There was no way that Hotch couldn’t run towards you, gently taking you from Spencer.

“Da-daddy?” There was a small smile on your face as you saw the blurry figure of your dad. Hotch smiled in relief and nodded, arms going around you gently so’s not to disturb anymore of your cuts or slashes. “You-you came.” You stuttered.

“Of course I came, I wasn’t gonna leave you, honey,” He assured you. You couldn’t properly hear what your dad was saying, but you could make it out. “Alright, let’s get you to the hospital.”

“Can you carry me?” You asked, holding your arms out to him. Hotch nodded and lifted you gently, holding you close like if he let you go, he’d lose you once again.

-

“Can I see Y/N yet?” Jack asked his dad. Hotch smiled as he nodded at his youngest child, who was clearly eager to have his older sister back. Hotch was getting Jack from school while you were asleep at home, with every door and window locked to improve your safety.

“Yeah, she got home this morning after I dropped you off at school, she’s been missing you too,” Hotch told Jack. When they got home, Jack practically shot upstairs. “Jack, do not go into Y/N’s room.” Hotch called up to him. Jack sighed as he waited for his dad to come up the stairs.

“Can I go in yet?” Hotch laughed as he nodded, opening the door to your room and sighing at you when he saw you were now awake, Greys Anatomy playing on your TV. “Y/N!”

“Hey bubs!” You cheered, smiling at your brother as you pulled your brother up onto your bed. Hotch sat down on the end of your bed and took the TV remote turning it off. “Dad.” You whined.

“You’re supposed to be asleep, Y/N,” He reminded you. You sighed as you flopped back onto your bed.

“Can I stay here?” Jack asked, looking at your dad. Hotch shook his head.

“No, Jack, Y/N has to try and get some sleep,” He said. You pulled Jack to sit beside you and you both pouted up at your dad, who sighed as he shook his head. “Fine, fine.”

“We love you, dad.”

—

[helloalycia]

worth the wait [three] // daisy johnson

summary: when you're out chasing a story that leads you to the unanticipated hands of HYDRA, you certainly don't expect to be rescued by a girl you presumed dead for nine years.

warning/s: descriptions of violence, torture, injuries.

author’s note: here’s the next part, hope you all like it!

part one | part two | part four | part five | part six | masterlist | wattpad

Nine years later...

"I'm meeting with my contact now. He said he knows something about the weapons."

"Okay, just make sure you're safe, Y/N."

I smiled with amusement. "I always am, Taylor. I think this could be the source to break the story though. I'm gonna try and get them to speak on the record."

"Just be careful," he warned.

"Will do," I promised, before checking my watch for the time. "Okay, I gotta go. See ya."

"Good luck," he finished, and I hung up before putting my phone away.

Looking around, I saw the village was quiet seeing as it was pretty late and everyone was in their homes. It was the perfect place to meet with a source for my story on human trafficking.

I headed down the street and waited outside the apartment building for my source. I had no idea what he looked like, but nobody else would be out this late into the night, so he couldn't be hard to spot.

A few minutes passed before I saw a guy approaching me, holding some files in his hands. I straightened up and held his gaze as he stopped before me. He glanced around before looking me up and down.

"You are Y/N?" he asked with a Burmese accent.

I nodded, speaking fluent Burmese as I said, "Yes. You must be Ohnmar? We can speak Burmese if you prefer."

"Okay. We talked earlier, but it wasn't safe then. I have information on the missing residents," he answered in Burmese, before shaking the files. "It's all in here, but you mustn't open it until you get home."

I accepted the files and nodded, though was mildly confused. "Is it about the labour they're doing? I have a theory, but I have no proof. I... I think it might be HYDRA."

He pursed his lips and I figured he was confirming my thoughts, which concerned me.

"I'm right," I realised, before moving to open the file. "I need to–"

"You should've stayed away," he suddenly said in English, and I looked up in confusion.

Before I could question him, he pulled a gun from behind him and hit me on the head, knocking me to the ground. I tried to blink my eyes open, but my vision was blurred and I eventually blacked out, unable to stay awake any longer.

I woke up in a dark room with an aching head and confused mind. It took a moment for me to catch myself up, but I soon realised I'd been tricked by my contact. I was so easily fooled and I felt stupid as I hadn't seen it coming, instead too blindsided by my need for information.

Looking around, I realised I was tied to a chair. The only light in the room was from a single electric lamp plugged in the corner, shedding light on the damaged walls and, to my dismay, a HYRDA logo.

"Well, fuck," I mumbled, before shaking my wrists to try and get free, but they were tied pretty tightly with rope, making me shift uncomfortably at the chafing.

Panic started to set in when the door slammed open in front of me, flooding the room with light and making me close my eyes with discomfort. I heard another slam and opened my eyes when I saw the door closed behind whoever entered.

Two people were in the room and one of them turned the lamp, shining it in my direction and also revealing my assailants' faces. One of them was Ohnmar, my contact, which I guess wasn't his real name. The other wasn't anybody I recognised, and they were both wearing uniforms with the HYDRA logo on the pocket.

"I wouldn't try to escape if I were you," the fake Ohnmar said.

I clicked my tongue and looked between the both of them. "I'm guessing I got a little too close to the truth which is why I'm here. Right?"

"You've been putting your nose in where it doesn't belong," the other guy said. "Did you really think you would get away with this? That we'd let you write about this?!"

I flinched at his loud volume before clearing my throat. "I didn't think I needed your permission. And in case you didn't notice, it's my job to report on this."

Fake Ohnmar scoffed. "We don't care what your job is. Now tell us what you know and what you've told your superiors back home."

I narrowed my eyes. "Do you really think this is the first time I've been captured? I've spent nine months in this village. If you think I'm going to throw that away for you, you better think again."

Fake Ohnmar's friend cracked his neck, pacing with discomfort, before pulling out a gun. I chewed on the inside of my mouth, nerves settling as I tried not to show it.

"We have someone going through your electronics as we speak," he told me, gripping his gun. "Your superiors will get their updates as expected, but you won't be giving them."

"Look, you're gonna kill me whether I tell you or no–"

I was cut off when he smacked me across the face with his gun, making me see stars momentarily. I felt something warm gush from my nose and realised I was bleeding.

"You have no idea who you're dealing with," he muttered, his face inches from my face as he stared me down threateningly. "Now tell us what you know of the missing villagers."

I wiped my nose on my shirt the best I could and chose not to speak. They couldn't do much without knowing what I knew. Everything I'd learnt had been sent back home to the news organisation I worked for, and if I didn't get back to them or call them, they'd know what happened.

"Two things I despise," he mumbled with irritation. "Journalists and Americans." He waved to his friend dismissively. "She won't talk. You know what to do."

Fake Ohnmar nodded obediently before suddenly punching me in the face, once again, leaving me dazed. This went on for a while, him beating me up as an attempt at torture, before the two of them left me alone to 'think about' if I wanted to tell them.

I had been in this situation, surprisingly, two times before in my journalistic career. Both times I was able to get out either by escaping myself or managing to get found by the authorities. Of course, in this case, the latter seemed impossible, so my only hope was escaping myself.

I looked around, but realised I was in too much pain to hatch a plan right now. They'd done a good job on me, and I was sure my ribs were bruised pretty badly. Honestly, I didn't expect nine months of investigative journalism in Myanmar to lead to HYDRA of all places.

—

"You've beat me, starved me..." I coughed because of how dry my throat was. "I'm not talking."

Fake Ohnmar placed something rectangular on the table in front of me. I realised it was my laptop – they must have taken it from where I'd left it in the room I'd been renting downtown.

"You're clever, I'll give you that," he said, crossing his arms and shaking his gun impatiently. "Where did you learn such complicated encryptions?"

I couldn't help but smile when I knew he couldn't get into my laptop. At least not the parts that exposed what I'd learnt so far.

"You do what I do and you learn from past mistakes," I told him, making him clench his jaw.

It wasn't much, probably the only trick in the book I knew as I wasn't exactly an expert with computers. Clearly it was benefiting me today though.

He slammed his hand on the table suddenly, making me jump. "Tell me the password, now!"

I licked my dry lips, choosing to stay quiet. I began to wonder just how advanced these guys were if they couldn't even afford to get a hacker to break through.

"So it's gonna be like that," he said with a shrug, before pointing his gun at my face.

He flicked off the safety and I closed my eyes as calmly as I could, already saying my goodbyes in my head. A few days in a HYDRA cell was like weeks anywhere else. I'd accepted my fate.

I expected the shot to go off any minute now, wondering what things would be like afterwards. Would it hurt? Would it be an instant death?

I certainly didn't expect my left ear to be ringing as an excruciating pain shot up my neck from my shoulder. My eyes opened and I tried to breathe through the pain whilst hoping my ear would stop ringing. The man began to laugh, but I couldn't hear him, only see his evil smile.

When I looked down, I saw blood seeping from a bullet wound in my left shoulder. Despite my experience in this profession, I can't say I'd ever been shot before. It certainly hurt a lot more than I'd imagined.

"You talk and I get you patched up," he said when my hearing returned to normal. I looked up and saw him watching me with narrowed eyes. "You stay quiet and we see how long it takes for you to bleed out."

I swallowed hard, squeezing my eyes shut to contain the pain, before opening them again.

"You're gonna move operations," I realised aloud. "You want to know whether you can. Because if I've told them about you, you know you can't stay here much longer. And if I haven't, you just get rid of me."

He squeezed his gun with irritation, watching as I spoke the truth.

"But either way I die," I repeated. "So why the hell would I want the last thing I do be to help you?"

He grabbed the laptop before kicking the table away with anger. "Call when you feel like talking. We can make your death quick and painless or long and painful."

I smiled bitterly as I watched him leave the room, slamming the door behind him. I released a deep breath as I looked down at my shoulder, trying to make out the damage. I didn't know much about first aid, but I was pretty sure there was no exit wound meaning the bullet was still in there. That was good, right? Or wasn't it...? I couldn't remember. I just knew it hurt like hell.

—

Hours had passed and I began to hallucinate. Silly things like cheeseburgers and dancing water bottles – lack of food and drink, the blood loss and the heat was making my head spin. I wasn't sure if this was where I wanted to die – in a small, dirty, hot room by myself. Was it worth it? Dying over a news story?

Of course it was. I pursued this story after some social media posts about disappearing villagers in Myanmar. I stayed here nine months with each day leading me closer and closer to the supposed human trafficking that was going on. I got to where I was because I wanted to get justice for those who suffered and stop anyone else from suffering. Yet the only people who knew were my editors back home, and I wasn't sure they'd ever know the full truth.

It was better than helping the enemy though.

Just when I thought cheeseburgers were the worst of my delusions, I saw a face I hadn't thought about in a long time. A person who I least expected my mind to drag up in a time like this.

The door opened and I was sure I was going to be questioned again, but in ran none other than Skye. The same Skye who had ran away all those years ago and wasn't to be found.

She looked a little older with her shorter hair, but otherwise she was just as I remembered.

"Hey, I'm gonna get you out of h– Y/N?" she started, before furrowing her eyebrows with confusion.

She even sounded the same, and if I could feel anything at that moment, I'm sure I would've felt my heart beating quickly at the sight of her.

"Can you hear me?"

I began to laugh with what little energy I had left. Is this what it was like to die? Seeing things that you'd pushed down for so long to stop your heart from hurting? It was strange. Why was my mind playing with me like this?

"Y/N, look at me, can you hear me?!" she asked quickly, grabbing my face and forcing me to meet her eyes.

I continued to laugh because it all felt so real. Her touch, her voice, her eyes that peered into me. I wished it was because maybe after all of these years I could have made things right.

—

"Miss, can you hear me? Y/N?"

I blinked the tiredness from my eyes and opened them, trying to remember what was happening. But I was confused and my body was numb and nothing made sense.

"Y/N, sweetie, can you hear me?"

I turned my head, realising I was laying in a bed. There was a woman beside my bed – a doctor, I presumed – staring down at me with a friendly smile on her face. I nodded slowly, my mouth dry.

I couldn't remember getting out of that cell, being rescued. Unless I wasn't rescued and this was still a trap.

At this thought, I widened my eyes and tried to move, panic setting in, but I was attached to a bunch of tubes and my body was still numb.

"Hey, it's okay, you're okay," the doctor tried to reassure, resting her hands on my arm, trying to keep me still. "You're safe here. You're on a S.H.I.E.L.D. quinjet. That's like a plane...? We got you out of that HYDRA cell and I've bandaged your wounds. You don't need to be afraid anymore."

I wasn't sure whether to believe her, but something about the way she spoke and the kindness in her eyes made me relax.

"My name is Agent Simmons," she introduced as she grabbed something from beside me, "but you can call me Jemma."

I opened my mouth, but no words came out. On cue, she held a glass of water towards me and helped me sit up enough to have some from the straw. It felt good to have actual water in my system after not being given anything the past two days.

"Not too quickly," she said gently. "Take your time."

I listened to her before laying back down. It took a few tries, but I managed to get out, "Thank you, Jemma. I'm Y/N."

"Y/N Y/L/N, investigative journalist for the New York Times," she stated before an apologetic expression crossed her face. "Sorry. Facial recognition an' all... I hope that doesn't freak you out."

I sighed, not the slightest bit surprised. I knew enough about S.H.I.E.L.D. to know they had the resources to know exactly who I was.

"I don't remember you getting me," I said with confusion. "How did you I know I was there?"

Jemma took a seat on the stool beside my bed. "Well, technically it was Quake who got you out. We had reports of HYDRA activity in that area for a while and we knew an American journalist had been taken, but we didn't know it was you."

I nodded, though I was still confused. "Who's Quake?"

Jemma chuckled, thinking I was joking. But when I met her eyes with confused ones, she lost her smile.

"You're serious? You don't know who Quake is?"

I shook my head. "I've been in Myanmar for nine months, and not in the most advanced areas. I haven't had much access to American news."

"Seriously?" she asked with disbelief, before putting her arms out and shaking them. "Earthquake-causing, vibration-manipulating, tremor-shaking superhero Quake?"

I raised an eyebrow judgementally, making Jemma lower her arms sheepishly.

"Oh, well, she's a hero that works for S.H.I.E.L.D.," she explained.

I nodded slowly, deciding that was something to ask more about later on. For now, I was more concerned about my story.

"You said S.H.I.E.L.D. had been watching that area for a while," I recalled. "Does that mean you found out what happened to the missing villagers? I got as far as working out HYDRA had been using them for some sort of forced labour, but never beyond that."

Jemma got up from her stool and busied herself with other things. "I, er, that's actually classified...? You see, it's not good if we tell you, especially as you're a journalist..."

"But it's my story," I countered with annoyance. "I've been trying to work this out for almost a year. I deserve to know the outcome. Did you save those villagers? Were they all alive? Did the local authorities know?"

Jemma seemed to be getting uncomfortable the more questions I asked and I forced myself to sit up, groaning at the ache in my shoulder.

"You can't hide this from me," I told her. "Please, just tell me."

She grimaced. "It's not my place. I'm not in charge–"

"Then tell me who is!" I shouted with frustration, before taking a deep breath. "I'm sorry. I just– I've put a lot of work into this and it can't just be taken away. I need to know what happened."

She nodded, avoiding my eyes for fear I'd get angry again. "Look, I can talk to my superiors and find out what I can say. For now, you should really be resting."

I leaned back and breathed out slowly, already feeling my fatigue catching up to me.

"Okay," I said quietly, before asking, "You said we were on a plane. Where are we going?"

"That's actually classified as well," she said regretfully, making me sigh. "We're going to our headquarters. But after that, we'll be taking you home or wherever you want us to take you."

At the mention of home, I grew hopeful. It had been so long since I'd been back. I wasn't exactly in the right state to be living by myself, so I was glad that I had made the choice to leave my flat and move in with my parents before leaving for Myanmar. Plus, I had missed them dearly. To be back there was almost unimaginable.

"Can I ring my parents?" I asked hopefully. "Just to let them know I'm okay? And that I'm coming soon?"

Jemma nodded, offering a small smile. "Of course, Y/N. I'll go grab you a phone."

She left the room momentarily and I took that as my chance to get a good look around. It looked like a hospital room you'd find anywhere, except without windows and with card-activated doors that had tiny glass windows showing a narrow hallway. I didn't get to look around for too long as Jemma returned pretty quickly, handing me (what looked like) a normal mobile phone.

"I'll give you a moment of privacy, but please only call your parents," Jemma warned as politely as she could.

I cracked a small smile. "What – are you guys tracking the phone or something?"

She chewed on her lower lip as she looked down, making my smile fade as I realised that's exactly what they were doing. I wasn't surprised, I guess.

"Right, okay, no other calls, got it," I agreed with a nod.

She left me to it as I dialled my mum's mobile number and eventually spoke to both her and my dad. It was emotional to say the least, as I tried not to worry them too much without withholding the truth. They knew when I was lying so it was better to just be honest. Of course, they were happy to have me stay at theirs until I was back on my feet and the call ended with my mum scolding me for not resting as the doctor recommended.

Finally succumbing to the tiredness I was feeling, I fell asleep for God knows how long, but when I woke up, I felt more refreshed. Similar to before, Jemma was in the room, checking some charts. She caught my eye when I woke up and smiled reassuringly.

"Feeling better?" she asked, setting down the chart and rounding the bed.

I nodded. "Yeah, thanks... how long was I asleep for?"

"About six hours," she guessed, waving her hand. "We've landed at S.H.I.E.L.D. HQ and our agents are debriefing. Once everything is sorted here, we can take you home to New York and arrange a driver to take you to wherever you want."

"My parents' house," I clarified.

She smiled and nodded. "Right. Your parents' house. How are you feeling?"

I tried to sit up and she helped me as I smiled gratefully in return.

"I'm not gonna lie, being shot hurts like a bitch," I admitted, grimacing as I glanced at my shoulder and arm in a sling.

"First time?"

"And hopefully the last," I retorted, before looking to her. "How long will this take to, y'know, get better?"

"Well, I'll need to keep you here for observation over the next few days," she explained. "When I'm happy with the outcome, I'll send you home and you'll need fortnightly checkups at the hospital. Overall I'd say a month? Maybe more if there's no... er... other issues."

"I know you mean PTSD," I told her bluntly, before frowning. "Doing what I do requires knowledge of that."

"There's going to be support available for you, both here and back home," Jemma reassured, resting a hand on mine and offering a small smile. "You're not alone, Y/N."

I nodded, clearing my throat. "I know... I know. Thanks."

She nodded and moved to the other side of the room to grab something, before wheeling a tray of food over to me.

"Hope you're hungry," she joked. "It's nothing fancy, but it's pretty good."

I smiled and accepted the food. "Means a lot, thanks."

I took a bite out of my sandwich as I remembered something. When I finished chewing, I wiped my face with the napkin before looking to Jemma who was at her desk.

"Er, Jemma," I called, making her look up. "Did you find out what happened to the villagers?"

She pursed her lips and nodded. "I've spoken to my superiors. I know you've been working on this and I'm only permitted to tell you so much."

I waited patiently, not wanting to snap at her like last time.

"The missing villagers were in fact taken by HYDRA, like you predicted," she explained. "They were forced into labour at a facility that was under the guise of a food warehouse."

"What was the labour?" I asked curiously.

She ran a hand through her hair. "I can't tell you much, but I can say that it was a nuclear weapon that could've hurt a lot of people. S.H.I.E.L.D. managed to stop it before they could finish it, which is when we found out that a journalist had been taken. That was when we came for you."

I released a deep breath, definitely not expecting that. At least they had been stopped.

"Did the missing people return to their families? Were they okay?" I asked hesitantly, remembering the many families I spoke to of the missing. I'd grown attached and I don't think I could have taken more bad news.

"Most of them, yes!" she exclaimed hopefully, but I could tell the following news wouldn't be good. "But not all of them were okay. There's some psychological damage and unfortunately physical damage, too. HYDRA did a number on them."

I massaged my head with my right hand, trying not to get upset, but the guilt in the pit of my stomach wasn't helping. I had one job, literally, and I couldn't even do it right.

"Y/N–"

"Do you have a list?" I asked, cutting her off. "A list of who made it?"

"Y/N, I don't think–"

"Please," I pleaded. "I spoke to the families of those who were missing. I got to know them. I need to know who's not getting their loved ones back."

She frowned, but nodded slowly. "I'm sure I can do something."

I sighed and my shoulders sunk with disappointment. Just another day on the job.

—

It had been a few days since being rescued by S.H.I.E.L.D. and I was itching to get home, but Jemma insisted I be observed for at least another day.

Under different circumstances, I would have been eager to explore the quinjet and get more information out of Jemma about her place of work, but I was too exhausted to care. Instead, I revelled in being taken care of and having a break from work.

I was laying in bed, reading a book, when Jemma walked in and caught my attention. I tried not to bother her as she was clearly working on other stuff, but it got pretty boring sitting in a room by yourself all day.

"Hey," I greeted with a smile, lowering my book.

"Hello," she returned as she took a seat at her desk, going on her computer. "You doing alright?"

"As alright as I can be, considering," I said, shrugging with my right shoulder. "Just a bit bored."

"The book not good?" she asked, nodding to my hand.

"I've read it," I admitted. "I just didn't wanna be a bother and ask for another one."

She chuckled. "You could have said something."

"It's okay," I assured her, before leaning back. "So, up to anything fun?"

She gave me a knowing look. "Are you seriously that bored?"

I nodded, pursing my lips, making her laugh. Eventually, she stared at me curiously.

"There's actually something I wanted to ask you," she admitted, crossing her arms and leaning back on her chair. "If you don't mind."

Wanting any distraction from my boredom, I nodded. "Go for it. I'm all ears."

"I've been reading some of your work," she shared. "You're really talented and you've been through your fair share of tough scrapes."

I chuckled. "I guess, yeah. And thank you. What's the question exactly?"

She looked at me like it was obvious. "What made you want to do this as a job? Investigative journalism?"

I played with the corner of the book as I answered thoughtfully, "Well, I guess I've always enjoyed writing and delving deep into stuff. The important stuff, y'know?" I looked down at my hands as I remembered Skye. "There was actually this girl I knew back in school. She was a friend and she, er... she was always wanting to find and expose truths. About herself, the world... I guess she kind of influenced me in a way."

I chewed on the inside of my mouth as I remembered my hallucination. Skye seemed to be coming up a lot more in my life lately, more than I was prepared for.

"I'm guessing she isn't with you anymore," Jemma realised, expression softening. "I'm sorry."

I forced a small smile, looking up and shaking my head reassuringly. "It's okay, it doesn't matter."

Jemma smiled in return, but I could see the pity present in her eyes. "I'm sure whoever she was, she'd be proud of you now. For everything you've done."

"Thank you, Jemma, but I... I'm not too sure about that."

"I am."

I froze at the sound of a familiar voice. Was I hallucinating again? No, that couldn't be. I was getting better. But that sounded so real...

"Proud of you, that is," the voice continued, and I risked looking towards the door where I saw none other than Skye standing there with a nervous smile on her lips.

When I met her gaze, I knew she wasn't a figment of my imagination. Those piercing brown eyes couldn't be fake.

"Hey," she got out, barely a whisper.

I licked my lips and tried to look away, but my heart was suddenly racing in my chest. She was just how I saw her last, but I guess that had been real now.

"I should give you guys a moment," Jemma said, pulling me from my reverie and making me look away.

She walked out, past Skye, leaving us both alone. I was still in shock though, too startled to say anything.

"How are you?" she asked gently, and I still couldn't believe I was hearing her voice after all these years. When I didn't say anything, she continued, "I know this is strange, but–"

"Strange?" I finally found my words, eyebrows raised. "What exactly is strange? The part where I'm sure I'm seeing a ghost right now as I you presumed you were dead after not being able to find you for years after you left, or the part where you've probably been at S.H.I.E.L.D. the whole time and didn't bother to tell me you were okay? Which part is strange exactly?"

She frowned guiltily, eyes falling to her shoes. "When I left–"

"Ran away," I corrected her, bitterness slashing through like a sharp knife, surprising the both of us.

She glanced at me, nodding. "Right... when I ran away, I left you a message."

I almost laughed, a sarcastic smile on my lips. "Don't even get me started on the excuse veiled as a message you left me. The cowardly way out you took because you couldn't face me."

She met my gaze nervously. "I didn't think you'd be this angry after all this time. It happened so long ago."

"Of course I'm angry!" I shouted with frustration, making me grimace at the pain in my shoulder, but I didn't stop. "You left without a single trace of Skye or Mary left behind! You left me with nothing but concern for your wellbeing! I thought you were dead!"

I hadn't realised how I angry I was after all this time, but it made sense. When she first left, I always imagined what I would say to her when I found her again, what our reunion would be like. But when the years went on and I accepted she was truly gone, all of that worry turned into bitterness and resentment. And now, seeing her here... I was furious.

"Y/N, I know you're upset, but–"

"Just get out," I told her with a glare. "I appreciate you saving me and all, but get out."

"Y/N," she pleaded, but I looked away and pressed the button on the side of my bed.

Jemma soon returned and looked between Skye and I with confusion and reluctance.

"Everything okay here?" she asked.

I looked up and met Skye's guilt-filled gaze. "My shoulder hurts."

Skye seemed to get the hint and nodded once more before finally leaving the room. I breathed out a shaky breath, before swallowing the lump in my throat and letting Jemma help me.

I couldn't believe she was back.

[purplerose244]

My thoughts on Seabound!!! 🌊🌊🌊 (3/4)

SPOILERS ALERT!!!

Yep yep yep, I'm liking this season a lot! 😍 Although I hope we'll get into a more frantic situation now, like with more battles and more bonding moments (Nya and Maya hopefully, but with Bentho too 🦈🦈🦈)! We got half a season to go, I'M READY!! 😎😎

Alright, here we go!

GENERAL THOUGHTS

I do like the season a lot, maybe MoM was a little more cohesive? Idk but it's not a big complain, I still love it so far 😍

Also maybe I would've liked more interactions between Nya and Maya about how they've been apart for so long, they had a chit chat but I would've loved even more. Maybe with Nya saying that it was fine and she grew up only to realize she is still hurt by that, even though it wasn't Maya's fault. I still like how they did it, I wished there was more that's it 🤷‍♀️

While I do make sense to Maya's behavior, that while it seems a little different from Hands of Time it had its logic in my opinion, maybe Ray feels a little weird? He seems less courageous than before, and it was established that he is a hothead like his son so that came off as unusual 🤔🤔

But I do love the fact that he's here and he's bonding with his son, for real, I've been waiting for this for so long so I'm happy nonetheless 🤩

Maybe I'm just easy to please and I take all I can get idk 😅

THE STORM AMULET

Oh, are we gonna address the wind element? It feels like we haven't really seen a Morro reference since Hands of Time, that would be cool! 😍 I mean, why even mentioning the wind then 😅😅

Well what do you know, they tracked them, who saw that coming?... me, I saw that coming... we all did probably 🤷‍♀️

Jay took upon himself making a quick recap on how Ninjago will be destroyed this time, thanks Bluebell 👌

Yep nyeheh electricity makes Nya go crazy for sure ❤💙 ... wait it wasn't a Jaya pun?

Jay wear your seatbelt please, you risk you life enough 😅😅 Pff lol "are we there yet" and they are actually there, biggest plot twist I've ever heard of 😂

LEGO HUG 💜💜💜

And with someone who might as well join the League of Jay apparently 💙

I liked The Island yet it was not as exciting as I hoped for, but now understand the meaning of it. The ninja helped the keepers and they are all allies. Without The Island the moment where Mammatus gives Nya the amulet wouldn't be as meaningful

Is it just me or Nya looked even more gorgeous during that moment?... just me huh? Okay then 😂💕

Wait that's a fake? Wait... UNCLE POWERS?!? OMG THAT I ACTUALLY DIDN'T SEE COMING 🤯

Here I thought he was just messing around, he always makes things harder 😅 Or maybe better? I mean, they kinda missed a bullet on this one...

BENTHO IS SO SWEET AND COOL OMG HE IS ALREADY OUR FRIEND 💙🦈💙🦈

Jay somehow had his own TV show in the past and yet he's got that horrible acting skills wth 😂😂😂

Kalmaar is a very cool villain, like, deeply evil. Not only he's calculated and merciless, he stops at nothing to get what he wants. And the people that get in the way? He wants them to suffer because they had dared to confront him 😳

And yes the voice does help a lot, I'm sorry I'll keep saying it until the season is over 😂 (or even beyond? Please cast Giles again LEGO 🥺🥺🥺)

Awww Nya no my poor girl 😢 Jay wanted to hug her to comfort her he is so sweet my SHIP ❤💙❤💙

MOM PEP TALK MOM PEP TALK!!! 🤩🤩🤩 How cool was it?

Like, this isn't even Maya asking Nya to believe in herself, this is her saying that she KNOWS her daughter can do anything when she puts her mind into it. FINALLY SHE SEES HOW AMAZING WATER GODDESS IS 💜💜💜

MORE LEGO TEARS OMG THIS SEASON IS FILLED WITH TEARS 😱 Which... kinda makes sense considering it's a water based season 😂

Nice one, and now? NOW WE GO BACK TO KAI COLE AND RAY YAS!!! ❤🖤❤🖤

RIDDLE OF THE SPHINX

That is... surprisingly Egypt theme like? It feels like a title coming from the Fire Chapter of season 11... well we got two fire elementals so 😍😍

SPARRING KAI AND RAY

I REPEAT SPARRING KAI AND RAY!!! SPARRING KAI AND RAY!!! ❤❤❤ Lol Ray got old, but how can someone blame him? He did touch death while aging in Hands of Time, I'm just happy he is alive 😂

Yep, master prankster Wu, that's what I love 👌👌 I always thought Wu had become a father figure for Kai at the beginning, so seeing Ray and Wu in the same picture feels very wholesome to me 😚

Ah, uncle Powers, I both love you and hate you so freaking much 😌😌 But you make cool slides nonetheless 😂

ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME WITH BEAUTIFUL SMITH INTERACTIONS??

BECAUSE I LIKE IT KEEP GOING 🤩

Oh no you guys are stranded on an island whatever are you going to do?? It's not like you had already before and managed to survive (Skybound) or you got stranded on a rock in a sea of sand filled with giant monsters (Fire Chapter) or you were on a freaking COMET in SPACE (Rebooted). Yeee, this is the worst yet 🙂

I'm starting to think these ninja are just a bunch of drama queens so no matter what happens, it's always hopeless 😂😂 I feel like I'm kinda right on this one honestly 😛

Whoa whoa WHOA WHO IS NYAD THIS SOUNDS VERY COOL???

Aww I like that, while Ray told his kids stories about dragons and how they traveled through the Underworld, Maya told them about Nya the first water master that could summon whales 💙❤💙❤

Pff imagine if it turned out Nya was the master of fire, carrying a very water based name? Lol

Maya: I would know if it was possible!

Nya: Yeah, like she knows that I can control a bit of ice because it's frozen water

Maya:...

Maya: YOU WHAT

I find both interesting and very annoying that this explorers club thinks so highly of themselves, to the point the deny to aid even the FREAKING SAVIORS OF THEIR FREAKING LAND 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

Misako got good reflexes after all, Kai was probably ready to melt this guy's face 😅

Oh, so a trial by Sphinx is a challenge? A mental one? A cultural one? A physical one? Idk but Misako is actually taking charge and that is cool I guess 🤷‍♀️

Okay this is kind of weird, how is Ray so afraid? Is it because there's fire?... did he... did he grow afraid of fire for some reason? Because it feels a bit off for now, but if there is a deeper meaning that could be interesting 🤔

Wait is that the riddle from Decoded? That's fire right?

IT IS FIRE 🔥🔥🔥

Lol at least in this one Kai wasn't completely ignored 😂 I know my flame babe isn't the most rational person, but I do like that it was an answer connected to his element where he used his head!

Ah Clutch, you really got no backbone 😅 And apparently you're the only explorer who doesn't, dang look at the others go! I'm having a bit more respect for them now 😚

LOOK AT SENSEI GO FINALLY!!! 😍😍 FIGHTING SCENES HECK YES!!!

Kalmaar: I'm your conquerer

Wu: so after skeletons, the serpentine, nindroids, the Stone Army, Chen's army, ghosts, oni, more snakes but on fire and people from a game, that makes you the tenth. Have a free cookie

Kalmaar:...

Wu: you're not special

Is this a little throwback to Possession too? Nya seems to always control better water when she doesn't actually think about it. When her feelings are free, so are her powers 🌊🌊🌊

Also this opens up more possibilities! Creatures connected with other elements might get summoned too! I would love something like that 😍😍

This was NEAT, or maybe I just missed Kai that much ❤ What's next??

PAPERGIRL

ANTONIAAAAAAAA!!!! MY GIRL IS BACK!!! All my girls are back in this season, I'm so happy 😍😍😍 And if she is here, sweet little Nelson has to be around and I cannot wait! Bring in the purple ninja! 💜

Owww Antonia's last day as a papergirl? Nooo why??

She's got a job at the... DAIRY DRAGON??? OMG OMG OMG IT'S THE ICE CREAM PLACE BRAGI TOLD US ABOUT ON TWITTER!!! 🤩🤩🤩 I remember the post, he was asking about names for the place and ice cream flavors. Now I can't wait to see what did he choose 🍦🍦🍦

UNAGAMI BABY HI HONEY!!! 🙋‍♀️ I hope he's doing great 😘😘

This is so cool honestly, Antonia got her own character arc going on! Living in a chaotic city like Ninjago City must be pretty dang exhausting 😅

Was... was that Dareth in the garbage can? Am I wrong? Poor brown ninja 😅🤎😅

SPINJITZU SWIRL, BANANAKHAN, ORANGE SERPENTINE, I'M DYING 😂😂😂

Their friendship is so wholesome, I'm so happy they are still together no matter what happens 💕

I thought Kalmaar wasn't much of a fighter but DANG he's got skills! Also the fact that he uses tentacles makes the fight very cool to watch! 😚😚

RAY RUNNING IN AFTER KAI GOT HURT HECK YES ❤❤❤

Well at least you tried Ray 😅

Ah, little cameo of the original Weekend Whip, always nice to hear it again... AND DO THE WEEKEND WHIP!!! 🌪🌪🌪

EVEN NELSON GOT CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT I'M SO PROUD 💜

I don't even know what is cooler, the kids being mad lads on their bikes, Kalmaar driving a TRUCK or Kai going full parkour on the buildings to follow them 🤯

I'm sorry... am I the only one that during the Kai and Kalmaar talk kinda thought of Jestro and Clay? I miss my boys from NK, they're even more at odds now 😭😭

KAI YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO DIE OR EVEN TRY TO DIE GET BACK HERE AT ONCE 😱😱

Kalmaar just loves to make everyone feel inferior, gotta be his hobby 😶

Oh good Kai is back

OH NOT GOOD KAI IS NOT BREATHING?!? FLAME BABE I TOLD YOU YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO DIE 😱😱😱

Antonia, Nelson, you guys are now my heroes. You saved my fave, I'll be forever in dept with you ❤❤❤ Am I being overdramatic? Most likely, but Kai is one of the few that didn't almost die or did die in a dramatic situation and he is also my absolute favorite character so that... kinda keeps my sanity in check in this show 🥴

I wonder... does he still not know how to swim? He saved Lloyd in Possession but I wonder if he was only trying to float on the surface... THAT'S TERRIFYING

This episode was so adorable, I love Antonia and Nelson so much 💜💕💜💕 It's nice to see what the other people of Ninjago do while everything goes mad 🤣

Wait hang on my Ninjajan is a little rusty

"Ninjago City. City that never sleeps" well if that ain't the truth 😂

MASTER OF THE SEA

Like Master of the Mountain? Wait are we going back to Shintaro?? VANYA?? ANOTHER BEST GIRL RETURNS??? 💛

Hey hey hey, we got a full Nyad backstory! I really like when they do these little drawn shots, they feel more like legends! And... the ending sounds terrifying? Like, they wouldn't let Nya sacrifice herself and die... again... right? 😱

Bentho: and the world was in balance, until now because of my brother

Lloyd: and the Overlord before of course

Bentho: the what now?

Lloyd: the evil one my grandpa the first Spinjitzu Master fought?

Bentho: YOUR WHAT NOW

Why do I like this offscreen "hiiiyaaa" that sensei Wu does before actually going into the scene? 😂😂

No matter if they come from the underground or the sea, these are all snake-like creature with the same intellect 😅 Kalmaar and Garmadon would have a lot to talk about, sea king dealing with his minions does remind me of Lord Garmadon in season 2 a lot 😂😂

KAI AND RAY FIGHTING TOGETHER KAI AND RAY FIGHTING TOGETHER ❤🔥❤🔥❤🔥❤🔥❤

OMG Kalmaar is such a brat and petty villain I love him so much 😂😂😂 Yes I didn't even mention his amazing voice!... AH DANG IT 😳😳

*Misako kicks Kalmaar and is actually useful* 🙆‍♀️🙆‍♀️🙆‍♀️

*Misako gets taken as hostage immediately after* 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

KAI LITERALLY JUST GOT SAVED FROM DROWNING WHY MUST YOU DO THIS TO HIM!!!... and Ray and Cole and Wu of course, I care okay 😅

OMG that face 🤣🤣🤣

That some meme material right there

Whoa Vincent that voice just got super up when the Unsinkable showed up, it kinda sounded like Jay's lol

NO NOT BENTHO!!! 😢😢😢

Kai: Nya talks to whales now? (I snorted so hard at this 😂😂)

HECK YES NYA GOT THE AMULET!! 😍😍😍 ... we got, like, four more episodes to go so something needs to happen in between... do I need to be scared? I feel like I need to be scared 😅

Jay starting a fire then blaming Kai?... this is so in character I got chills 😂😂

SHARK BOY IS STAYING TO THE MONASTERY THIS IS SO PRECIOUS!!! 🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩 I want all the shenanigans and we need to write fanfictions about more shenanigans and AAAAHHHHH 🦈🦈🦈

Bless these two fire idiots

They own my heart ❤🔥❤🔥 Also Vincent, this is supposed to be a fun little gag moment, your amazing voice acting is kinda distracting me 😭😭😭

ANOTHER LEGO HUG

YOU GUYS ARE SPOILING ME OVER HERE HECK YES 💙🌊💙🌊

Maya learned that her daughter is capable of everything, I love that. Nya simply understood that she doesn't have to give up when something gets difficult. She is AMAZING and can do anything she puts her mind into. She simply has to hold on until the end 💪💪💪

Omg Benthomaar playing billiard with the guys I already love this 😍😍

YES IT IS SHINTARO!!! THE UPPLY ARE HERE OMG!!! HI VANYA YOU LOOK AMAZING GIRL MISS YOU I HOPE YOU'RE DOING OKAY!!! 💛💛💛 ... I just really like Master of the Mountain okay 😅

I love how Vanya doesn't even question it. It comes from Cole and he said it needs to be protected? Done and done 👌

Wait what, did something fall?

IS THAT THE FAKE?!?!? WHAT HOW WHEN??? UNCLE POWERS??? OR KALMAAR DID SOMETHING??? SOMEONE??? I'M LEGIT CONFUSED AND EXCITED??? 🤯🤯🤯

Well dang, I didn't see that coming, now what Seabound? What do you have for me?

[diorthesuperior]

Skype calls

junhao smut + reader

oral, guided maturbation

[ come back soon pls >:( ]

That was the last text you had sent Jun.

He had been promoting in China for the past few weeks and you missed him more than you could have imagined. You were sexually frustrated as you had been use to the routine of his “daily punishments" and love. You craved nothing more than to be touched and hear his voice talk you down like old times.

You shifted in your bed, latching onto the cushion that smelled of his cologne. You hugged onto it tightly looking blankly at the wall.

You lived with Jun, Minghao, Hoshi and Dino in a flat. The other units lived in separate flats next door for space. Your double bed was empty because Jun wasn't there. Though you and Jun were in a relationship the members really believed Jun was the lonely kind who valued his own time. Little did they know he was busy fucking you and doing all the sexual desires you had and his. He was experimental and liked trying new things. You really had became too use to it so the absence of him made you so frustrated.

You continued staring blankly at the wall until the memory hit of when he fucked you against that wall.

“UGH” you pressed your head into the cushion deeply, not a care in the world if you suffocated.

It wasn't fair. You needed him.

[JUN]

[JUN]

[I want you]

[Are your promotions nearly over?]

[I saw your recent photo]

[I wish you were fucking me with your fingers]

[Jun?]

[ >:'( ]

The door creaked and Minghao walked in abruptly. You didn't really know why he was there but it took your interest. You sat at the upper side of your bed and questioned his moves. He lifted your MacBook onto the bottom of you bed and sat there with it, opening it up.

“What are you doing? "

" Minghao what the fuck you can't just barge in on me like that”

“Get off my laptop”

“Are you fucking listening ugh”

You give up with the lack of response and fall back onto you mattress. Even though you wearing pajama shorts and a shirt you felt heated up, unsure if the source sparked from minghao or your need for Jun to abruptly enter the room and fuck you into oblivion.

Suddenly, a familiar sound rang through your ears. You glanced up at Minghao and then at your MacBook. A Skype call was connecting up.

A black square appeared and loaded a face.

“Hey Jun” Minghao greeted with a hint of smug to his voice.

Your head shot up and your eyes layes on the screen. Your boy. Jun. Dressed in his MC outfit from his earlier schedule, a white silk shirt and black jeans. The frame showed his smiley bright face with his prominent cheeks. His skin was glowing with his home melanin. The way his hair was styled was hot, his forehead showing.

“Junhui! I-”

“Ah ah ah” Jun stalled you from finishing your sentence waving his finger and nodding his head from left to right.

“Minghao told me you were acting off, is that so?”

“N-No?”

“You know better than to lie”

"I don't understand" you stretched out your legs with a confused expression.

“I saw your messages by the way”

“Oh.. yeah.. those”

“So something was definitely off. Luckily Minghao was too considerate and went ahead and messaged me about his concern regarding you"

“If not this wouldn't be happening”

“This?” you asked.

Minghaos hands grabbed your lower legs dragging and spreading your legs down towards him.

Your face turnes a light shade of red, your ears heating up.

“w-w-what”

“Hey Jun, she's been really missing you, look she even has her legs spread for you infront of this cam, have you done this before?” Minghao says in a teasing voice winking at Jun, turning his head to look back at you.

“no..”

“That's a lie, she's called me once or twice as I guided her through masturbation, she's quite a slut for these things”

You squeezed your knees together in shame.

“So Minghao that's what you're gonna help me out with, sadly I can't be there to play with my needy whore”

“No need to further explain, I understand” Minghao spoke out adjusting the position of the laptop for a better view.

He pulled you down lower on the bed, bringing his hands from your lower legs to you upper inner thigh gently rubbing at your flesh in slow circles.

“Now baby girl you're gonna put that head back and listen to daddy's voice while minghao helps out, got it? ”

You nervously look at Jun on the screen in shame of the situation but you can't help but follow his commands. Being so desperate and horny quickened the decision.

“Yes daddy”

The idea of Minghao being there also turned you on even more. Being so needy and exposed infront of someone other than Jun really made you heat up. Jun was right after all. He knew you had an exhibitionist side and said how he'd prove it one day. Here you were, legs spread infront of Minghao and a laptop that showed Jun.

“That's right slut spread them legs, help Minghao and remove those short shorts of yours. I hope you haven't been wearing them to show off your ass to the others.”

“No daddy I wouldn't I-”

“Remove them sweetie”

You fidget about and remove your shorts and thong throwing them aside.

“Such a slut, Minghao move me closer so I can see her pretty cunt”

His words went straight to your core. The two of them were looking at your exposed body and damn did it make you want to cum right there.

“Daddy please don't leave me exposed say something”

“Needy eh? I was going to go slow but because of how much of a whore you are I have to change plan. Minghao go over to the drawer I told you about”

You shiver knowing damn well what the drawer was and had inside.

“Jun no please”

“Oh its only to warm you up”

Minghao walked over with a nearly intimidating stance, holding a toy, a pink bullet.

“Slut close your eyes and imagine I'm there”

“Mmm" you moan half because of his degradation and words and also because Minghao clicked on the vibrator and sat down beside your entrance.

“So spread those legs so I can rub your lips with my long fingers, so I can spread your wetness, you're so wet for me.”

Minghao followed along with Jun's words, making the experience realistic. His long cold fingers met your lips and spread them, the cold sensation making you shudder.

“Mm minghao fuck”

“Eh? Don't be such a slut, remember who your daddy is” Jun interrupted in a low tone turning you on further.

Part of you would have liked to disrespect him more and hear that sweet voice that would make you cum in and instance. But you didn't want to go against him today.

“Sorry daddy just feels-so-good”

Minghao placed the vibrator against you're core and pressed it up against your clit making you moan out. You lifted the cushion to your face to hide your vulnerable self and loud noises.

“Don't hide your face I want to see your expressions of neediness. The flat should be empty so let me hear those noises whore.”

Minghao grabbed the cushion from you with his spare hand and threw it away. You were on display and you were Minghaos canvas to work on.

He switched the intensity of the vibrator to the max and watched you whine and shake as he held your legs apart with his spare hand and side.

“Daddy I'm so close” you cry.

“My sluts so desperate and sensitive. You're weak.”

Just as you are about to cum Minghao completely edges you, removing the vibrator and all contact with you.

You whine in response, so needy to be fulfilled.

“That's not fair”

“You don't get a say on this whore deal with it”

Minghao gathers your wetness onto his fingers and easily eases two inside of you slightly curled. The moan that emerged from your throat was truly pornographic. It even got Minghao harder than he already had been. Jun watched as his bestfriend pulled whines from your body. It was hot. The pace of Minghao fingers nearly doubled in speed compared to when he started, making you cry out.

“Do you feel good? crying out daddies name so loudly? I would hope the windows are closed so the other units can't hear”

You gasp in shame again but also the idea of being heard made you wetter.

“I hope that one spot is getting hit repeatedly inside of you, I want to hear those uncontrollable moans you use to do when I was back home with you”

Minghao took this as a message and eased another finger in, curling them even more and pumped in and out. He hit it. The spot. The sounds you made were desperate and full of pleasure.

“I don't think being heard is any problem to you, whore you love it”

“Yes daddy”

“I bet you'd like my tongue and lips on your pussy right now”

You squirmed, closing your legs but were stopped by Minghao.

His head lowers closer to you core, inches away from your sensitivity.

“I bet you smell so good” Junhui remarked, smirking at you who was looking down at Minghao at your entrance.

He pointed his tongue and used the tip of it in a way you longed for. He licked a stripe up your core making you moan Jun's name.

He let the absence of his title slip because he was intrigued by your fucked out expression and noises.

“That's it moan for me, cum on my tongue”

Minghao sped up the speed of his tongue and paused to suck on your clit slightly humming on it making you pull at his mullet and throw your head back.

“I'm close so fucking close”

“Ask nicely”

"Daddy can I cum”

You look at the screen and see Jun nodding with a smirk, you also see yourself in your frame with minghaos lips at your exposed pussy.

Everything was becoming too much and you reached the edge. You came hard on minghaos tongue but he continued lapping his tongue around your clit as you rode out your orgasm. You were sensitive but he kept going, humming on your clit and even slipped his fingers inside you at the same time. Without much work another orgasm waved upon you. You came all over his long fingers and tongue. Minghao licked you clean making you shiver from sensitivity.

“Such a good slut. Minghao can you show me your fingers. I wanna see how much of a mess my slut made”

Minghao showed his fingers to him, your cum covered them. Jun grunted when he saw.

“I wish I could taste you baby girl, come over here, closer to the camera so I can see you better”

You shuffle forward to the cam where minghao was.

“Now suck his fingers clean while looking at me”

Without hesitation you wrap your lips around Minghaos fingers, sucking them and bobbing your head as if it were dick, tasting yourself.

“How did she taste?”

“Sweet” Minghao replied with a smirk as he watched you suck his fingers.

You let go with a pop sound, keeping eye contact with Jun.

“I admit you're a slut but you're hot. I wish you could've helped with the problem in my pants”

“oh?” you looked through the screen, realizing he didn't show his bottom half but he was sat back looking pretty sweaty.

“Check your snapchat”

“Oh and Minghao thank you for telling me about her mood today and helping out with her desperate self, you're the best”

Minghao smiled at Jun kindly and nodded. The call ended and Minghao looked back at you. You felt a little awkward.

“T-thanks, you're really good with your hands”

“Not the first time I've been told that”

He smirked over at you and the mess you are.

“He said check snapchat, he sent some videos and pictures.”

“Oh yeah-”

“Here you'll probably want this” Minghao propped himself off the bed standing up and dropped the object in his hand onto the bed.

The vibrator.

He smirked at you and you threw the cushion from earlier at him, completely missing. He giggled so cutely for someone who had just done all that. He continued giggling and zoomed towards the door smiling.

“zàijiàn”

“oh and before I go” he said peeping his head at the side of the door into your room beaming.

“He's coming home on Saturday, be ready for a threesome. Wear sexy lingerie”

Before you could question anything he had left.

“Some welcome home party”

[prettyblfan]

Coffee Shop Boy

Chapter Two

~

Just as he thought by the time he had finished his shift and set off for school Sorawit managed to completely forget about his encounter with very mysterious That.

~

As he walked into his classroom he instantly locked eyes with his best friend Nam. Despite only being in Viangpa Mork for only 3 months him and Nam seemed to connect instantly, she practically took Sorawit under her wing because he was too gullible for his own good. During his first week of school some boys in their class convinced him that the girls toilet was actually the boys toilet, ever since then she's felt very protective over him. However, this was practically the same for Sorawit after all Nam was pretty, popular and funny a complete package so he felt like if was his job to protect from all the shameless creeps that through themselves at her.

Sorawit pulled out his seat next to Nam and smiled,

"Have you done the maths homework" he cheekily asked putting on his sweetest voice. He plan to do it this morning but all the customers decided to pack in all at once so in the end he didn't have any time to finish it.

"No, I though you would do it! that's why I didn't bother" Nam said pulling a pout while she flopped onto the desk in front of her.

"Ahh, why don't you ask one of the multiple guys who have a crush on you" Sorawit responded, despite how calm they both seemed the end result of not handing in homework was quite harsh. They'd get one or two whole weeks of detention. As they went to a very high ranked and respected school it was only natural that standards were set to such a high level, but regardless they couldn't help but think it was stupid.

"No way, they always end up expecting soo much more in return, i can't handle the entitlement." Nam said dryly her voice dripping with disgust.

Sorawit knew exactly what she meant, whenever she'd show the smallest bit of kindest or even ask for a favour they always seemed to think that they deserved something in return. And that something was her body. In alot of situations although Sorawit couldn't fight he'd end up stepping in and trying to protect her.

"Umm, I guess we'll just have to settle for one week of detention then." Sorawit laughed after all his friend's safety was his top priority.

Just as both Nam and Sorawit were prepared to accept their fate one of the girls in their class came in yelling,

"Miss Jane isn't in."

It was this one line that seemed to save their lives, miss Jane was their maths and foreign language teacher as well as a tutor at the school. She was only strict because wanted the best for them but sometimes she could really be too ruthless.

As they no longer had a teacher for two of their lesson both Nam and Sorawit messed about, joking and talking the entire time.

For Sorawit the rest of the day went by without a hitch.

~

By the end of school Sorawit felt like death, maybe waking up at 3 am wasn't going to work for him. As he almost feel asleep against his bike Nam flicked his head.

"Are you gonna give me a ride home today or not" Nam said impatiently as she hopped onto the back of his bike (Sorawit is too much of a soft boy to be riding round on a motorbike, so he has a bicycle a yellow one at that).

Before Sorawit could respond the most obnoxious sounding voice echoed out.

"Nam!"

Standing at the gate was a couple of boys probably a year older than them. They were all in Sorawit's eyes dressed like gangsters, their pants were unnecessarily low and they all opted for darker colours (yes this is what gangsters look like in Sorawit's mind, maybe mine too). The one that called out to Nam was tall but not that handsome the only thing that stood out about him was the polished black motorcycle next to him.

Sorawit looked at Nam puzzled.

"It's a long story, just ignore them." Nam said urging Sorawit to hurry up.

Sorawit despite being known for not being very quick witted caught on quite fast, this must be one of Nam's countless admirers.

He pulled Nam along on his adorable yellow bike and although others may not not agree with him, Nam in fact said it was too girly. Regardless Sorawit didn't see anything wrong with it. It was just the right amount of cute, the yellow made it stand out and the small daisies dotted about the bike made it even more pefect in Sorawit's eyes.

As they approached the gates they were quickly blocked, just as Sorawit had expected. However, Sorawit knew for a fact they wouldn't try anything as long as they were on school property, but unfortunately he couldn't say the same for when they had left.

"Nam let's hang out today, on me" he said eying her up and down.

"Pong, I remember telling you I was busy when you asked me yesterday." She replied obviously not interested in hanging out with him at all.

"What, busy hanging out with this loser instead." The guy now known as Pong spoke sizing up Sorawit. Eventhough he was tall Sorawit was indeed 100% bone.

"Pong." Nam warned, it was quite clear that she had enough, half because she knew that this would end alot worse for Sorawit than for her. And the other half was tired of guys constantly thinking she was interested in them.

"Nam, what does he have that I dont." Pong paused briefly looking at Sorawit before bring his eyes back to Nam.

"Now don't be stupid."

It was that line that made Sorawit snap.

"Her not wanting to hang out with you isn't being stupid." He said standing tall trying to make himself appear as tough as possible.

"What?" Pong replied before laughing along with the rest of his friends, they all looked completely amused.

Nam quickly sensed things were going to take a turn for the worst if things continued going the way that they were.

"Pong I'm seriously busy today I have a bunch of work to catch up on, I have alot more time on the weekend let's hang out then" she spoke alot softer.

"Huh, fine." Pond said a lot calmer now maybe because Nam was being a lot more docile or because a teacher was approaching.

~

The whole situation was over rather quickly after that, Pong and his group of friends had left before the teacher arrived and Nam had explained to that said teacher that the whole thing was a misunderstanding.

Sorawit was now sitting in the Pink Lilly attempting to complete his homework as the staff around him began to prepare for the evening shift. He was thinking about the conversation that he had with Nam while he was taking her home.

She said playing along was always the safer options especially with guys like that.

It made him worry to the point he had to convince her not to go and see him on the weekend.

"What's wrong you're pulling a pout." Ploy said squeezing his cheeks with a soft smile.

Ploy was a University student in her 20s that worked at the Pink Lily part time, she was kind and energetic but she was always in other peoples business.

"Umm I'm fine" Sorawit mumbled out before resuming his homework that he had been neglecting for the past half hour.

Before Ploy could prod for more information, Bun had stormed and was clearly in a mood. A way worse one than usual.

"Who does he think he is?" Fuming Bun slammed his hand down on the front counter.

"Why do handsome men think its okay to be so arrogant" Bun continued to rant furiously.

"P'Bun????" Sorawit called utterly confused, who could have made him so angry.

"Bun, what's wrong?" Ploy also questioned after all seeing her boss this angry was rare.

"Huh, what's wrong. You won't believe what happened today!" Bun responded quickly pulling out a seat. Finally seeming to calm down he recited what took place earlier today.

Bun had gone into work for his regular morning shift at 3am hence why he wasn't there to help ease Sorawit into his first shift. But the real trouble began after his long lunch break around 4ish when a young man was rushed in with a bullet wound, Bun was assigned to treat him. So naturally once he heard the man was accompanied by two other men he had quickly gone to question them after all bullet wounds weren't very common in Viangpa Mork. When he had confronted them he was ridiculed and mocked (more so softly teased, but okay Bun. I'll have to make a special chapter about their first meeting after all this is a That x Sorawit centered story) by a tall well dressed handsome man which only pissed him off more. He'd come to know that the arrogantly handsome man was Tan.

In his 3 months in Viangpa Mork he had only heard from other residents that Tan was one of the many sons of a very affluent family that owned multiple business in the city, and he had been doing a lot of work out here recently.

But the icing on the cake for Bun was that everyone loved him, not the police nor a single soul had come to question them or see what was going on. The whole situation was perfectly swept under the rug.

Bun had finished his story with a huff, just retelling it had seemed to annoy him.

"Wow, i mean it is expected after all rumour is that their family does dabble in..." Ploy trailed off unsure if she should finish her sentence. Tan and his family were doing way more for Viangpa Mork than the governor, in the past couple years their investments had gotten them things they never thought they'd see. Like new school buildings and more focus placed on education. They had even gotten Ploy into university through their Helping the Youth fund before that she never thought she would even have the opportunity to go.

"In what?" Sorawit asked, he hadn't been able to catch onto what she was implying like Bun had.

"Never you mind, my shift starts now so I'll see you later" Ploy wore a light smile before returning to work.

Bun had assumed it would have been something like that but he really thought Viangpa Mork was a quite and unproblematic town.

"Ah, Sorawit how was your shift this morning" Bun asked realising that he had been to caught up in himself to ask.

"It was fine but," it was at this moment that Sorawit had remembered his encounter with That.

"But what?" Bun said urging him to continue.

So, for the remainder of the evening shift until the start of the late evening shift Sorawit proceed to tell Bun about the oh so mysterious That. Although he sub consciously left out his heart pains and stomach twists that he felt around the boy, the rest of the story was relayed exactly as it happened.

After he had finished Bun had agreed the boy was strange and that in future he should try to keep his distance.

~

Sorawit had quickly retired for the night after he had finished talking to Bun feeling completely exhausted.

As he laid in bed,

When he was just about to fall asleep for a split second the very mysterious That flashed across his mind.

Regardless of what Bun had said earlier a part of him couldn't help but hope that just maybe he would see him again.

~

At last I have done, I hope you like this chapter. Cause i really do.

Oof my hate for men really showed at Nam's part, but do not worry I shall not allow for creepy old men or men at that to get their hands on her.

Any way onto the next chapter! That visiting his favourite coffee boy once again.

Again not proof read cause I live on the edge.

[xxisxxisxxis]

Gateway Drug | Part Eighty-Three [Pt. 1]

Part Eighty-Three [Pt. 2]

A/N: There's 2 parts to this chapter because the post was way long. Part Eighty-Four will be posted tomorrow night. I love yall and hope you enjoy, goodnight!!

Words: 5.7k

Warnings: Explicit language, drug abuse, violence, verbal abuse, domestic abuse, explicit sexual situations

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"The ambulance is on the way." I hear someone say over the noise of the running water and the blood throbbing in my ears from my mind racing. 

My heart feels like it's about to burst, my lungs feel flat, like they don't have the muscle to expand and let me catch my breath. 

Duff's t-shirt that I'm wearing is soaked with freezing cold water, Nikki's grayish-yellow skin now blue… 

We've been trying to get him to wake up. 

Slash is passed out, being knocked out by his girlfriend, Sally, once he realized what was happening and had a drunk meltdown. 

Me, Sally, Duff and Steven get Nikki from the cold shower and get him back in the living room floor, tearing at his shirt and the buttons fly off. 

"Holy shit." Steven says just under his breath as I go to start cpr but I'm stopping when my hands hit something like ice.

I quickly see what it is and I nearly fall back. 

It's my crucifix that I thought I had lost when I left it in Duff's hotel room a couple months ago…

TWELVE HOURS AGO

"Nikki's getting home later than the rest of the guys." Karen informs me as I finish wiping down the kitchen counter. 

"Why?" I ask and she sighs. 

"He told me he missed the flight." 

"Of course he did." I mumble and she sighs. 

"Well, after that stunt he pulled, I'm surprised he's even getting to come home." She states and I furrow my brows. 

"What stunt?"

"Doc didn't tell you?" 

"No?"

"...Nikki and the guys were on a bullet train and something riled Nikki up and he threw a bottle of Jack at a window and it busted and got all over the passengers, then when they got stopped and the cops got ahold of him, Tommy punched one of them so they'd take him, too." She explains. 

Am I surprised, no. Shocked, no. Disappointed, no. Annoyed? Yes. 

"They are so freaking embarrassing." I sneer to myself.

"Oh, the worst part is what he told the police chief, in Doc's words, 'if my balls were on your chin, where would my dick be?'" 

I widen my eyes, blinking slowly. 

"He said the man couldn't understand exactly what he said so the translator told him Nikki said he was very sorry and they got off." She adds.

"Of course they did." 

She just looks at me for a moment before letting out a soft breath. 

"Vivian, do you think...even the slightest chance you two can--"

"--If there was a chance, I would've gone to Japan with them." I tell her.

She's quiet. 

"I need to feed the dog." I say to her, dismissively, and as if on cue, Whisky is darting in here. "Hey, baby!" I pipe, excitedly, still feeling Karen's gaze on me before she steps out of the kitchen. "Mommy's trying not to kill Daddy." I tell him, pouring his food in his bowl. "She's really trying."

A couple hours later, I'm putting makeup on to go meet Duff when the phone starts ringing. 

"Hello?" I answer it in the bedroom, sitting on the bed. 

"Hey, beautiful, it's Robbin." I hear from the other side and I roll my eyes, chuckling. 

"Hey, beautiful, what's up?" I reply in the same tone. 

"Nothin'." He replies. "I was wondering if your daddy was home, yet?" He asks in reference to Nikki and I scoff. 

"My father is at home with my mother, probably praying or reading the Bible or secretly listening to The Cult records in the garage." I reply. 

"You know who I'm talking about, c'mon." He laughs. 

"No, Robbin, your boyfriend isn't home yet." I tell him. 

"Do you know when he will be?"

"Not too long from now, probably."

"Well, when he gets in, tell him to gimme a call." 

"I might not be here but I'll leave a note." 

"Where you going?" He asks. 

"Out."

"With who?" 

"Robbin."

"Why don't you ever come see me anymore? I haven't hung out with you in months." 

"Because I don't party and that's all you like to do at night." 

"Well, bring your ass with Sixx when he comes tonight."

"Robbin--"

"--Please, for me?" 

"I'll think about it, alright?" 

"Okay, just don't forget to get him to call me." He reminds me and I nod.

"I will."

"See you later...maybe." 

"Later."

We hang up and I groan and fall back on the bed, looking at myself in the mirrored ceiling, before calling Duff to postpone our plans by a couple hours so I can go hangout with Nikki and Robbin.

Once I'm dressed, I fall back on the bed, waiting for Nikki to get in…

I turn over on my stomach and reach for the little radio clock on his side of the bed, my finger pulling the switch on. 

Dopey Christmas music filters through the room and I turn it back off, sighing. 

Whisky jumps up on the bed with me and I sit up so he doesn't lick my makeup off, giggling at his happy-go-lucky demeanor, but something's off in his eyes. 

"He'll be back tonight, baby." I promise, scratching at his chin. "I miss him, too, you know? I know that's hard to believe but I do." I admit to him and he blinks at me. "And if you tell anybody, I won't give you table scraps anymore." I add, the corners of my mouth tugging. 

I kiss his head, leaving a smudge of lipstick and I wince, forgetting I even had the stuff on. 

"Oops." I go to the bathroom and get a wet washcloth, srubbing it off his fur as best as a I can. 

That's when I hear the door open and slam, and I exhale, standing up, tossing the cloth aside and peeking my head out of the bedroom door to see if it's Karen or Nikki. 

"Hey," I say to him and he looks at me. 

He looks like absolute hell. 

"You can stop looking at me like that." He mumbles and I try to speak but can't find the words. 

"Sorry." I finally get it out and he goes to the bathroom and shuts the door. 

I hear the shower start and I thank God because he smells horrendous. 

I light a few scented candles while he's in there, trying to clear out the smell. 

Then I try to search his suitcase for drugs, to no avail. 

"I threw them out before I got to the airport." He says and I freeze up, sighing when he reaches past me and grabs the suitcase, tugging it to the floor before grabbing at my waist, making me turn around to face him. 

I just try to keep my expression neutral, not knowing if he's in a mood or not. 

"You smell better." I tell him to avoid an awkward silence as we're uncomfortably close. 

"Yeah, so do you." He replies and I roll my eyes, about to move out of his grasp. "Wait, wait, no, no, c'mere." He grabs at me tighter, holding me still, chuckling boyishly and I give a sharp breath. 

"You're high," I state, trying to nudge him away from me to give me some space. 

"Hey, I'm being nice." His expression shifts, eyes cutting at me, mouth snarling. 

"Nikki--"

"--No, when I'm pissed you get bitchy and when I'm in a good mood you get bitchy. You're just a fucking bitch. Always have been. Always will be." He snatches himself away, kicking the suitcase out of his way. 

"I'd rather be a bitch than a junkie." I reply as he goes to the bathroom and he's turning around in milliseconds. 

"Fuck you!" He shouts, grabbing my jaw, forcing my back down to the mattress, "fuck you, you condescending, manipulative, evil little witch!" He barks in my face and I keep myself as calm as I can, not wanting to make it worse. 

I shouldn't have even called him a junkie to begin with. 

I knew how he'd react. 

"Don't you ever call me that again, Vivian, do you fucking understand me?! I'm tired of it! I'm tired of your shit and your endless whining when I started shooting up because of you in the first fucking place and I keep shooting up just to escape from the reality that I'm fucking married to a twisted, sick, sneaky cunt like you!" 

My eyes water, a lump in my throat…

"Then divorce me." I let out weakly, my voice cracking. "If I'm so awful then just leave me, Nikki." 

He looks at me, tears in his own eyes, before he gets off of me and goes to the bathroom to finish getting ready. 

NIKKI

I thought couldn't do that. Even when I was miserable with her, I was in love with her. That's contradictory to how I acted and treated her but it wasn't necessarily an endless doting, constant lovey-dovey, in love, thing. It was a poisonous, constant merry-go-round and anytime I would try to get off she'd pull me on again without even realizing it. She'd wear a hot dress, or laugh, or smile, or do something for me, or just say 'Nikki', and fuck, I'd be on her again. The Duff thing wasn't even on my mind that night. I got home, saw she was there, went inside and saw her and it took everything in me not to fall to my fucking knees...only for her to call me a junkie. I shouldn't have grabbed her like that, but at that point I was tired of the going around and around, spinning, dizzy, exhausted from puking...she wouldn't leave me. So I was trying to scare her off. 

I realized after my overdose that there was no scaring her off. She was as sick as I was, she needed help like I did, and until we got it we would still be on the ride. That's when I filed for divorce. I thought of it as my final, "I love you," because I really did it for her, knowing she wouldn't file after I OD'd. We were torturing ourselves at that point. We both needed to just get away from one another. And we did.

"You coming or not, Vivian, c'mon!" I call into the house when the car gets here, rolling my eyes as she takes her sweet, precious time, deliberately, staring me in the eye as she slowly steps to the door, her brow raised, red lips keeping restraint from curling at the sight of me. 

When she walks past, I'm tempted to rear back and hit her ass as hard as my hand can muster, just to see her look at me with her unamused, pissy little look she gives me when I'm being an asshole. 

We get in the back of the limo and she sits as far away from me as possible. 

It's silent on the way to town, the light flittering, through the windows in the back cast light over her face every now and then...we'd be in the floor tearing at clothes by now if this was three years ago. 

Fuck.

How the hell did we go from not getting enough of each other to fucking despising each other? 

Again, like I've been doing all year, I remind myself it's because I fucked up with Vanity.

I hope she doesn't tell Vivian I called her in Japan...It's  like I really miss her or anything, I was just lonely and Vivian wasn't taking my calls. 

She was under Duff, the demon in my ear laughs out and I look at Vivian again, seeing her quickly look away from me as if she'd get caught for staring. 

I wonder what she's thinking about right now...I wonder if she really has been with Duff this whole I haven't been home. 

Not that I have room to bitch, I spent my whole time in Japan with my head in drugs--which might as well be a fucking mistress. 

I give her one last glance before clearing my throat and leaning my head back to rest my eyes for a moment. 

Soon, we stop, and the door flings open, Robbin, Slash, some chick, and Steven all pile in, Vivian scooting over so there's more room for everyone to sit. 

I go to the other window, letting Slash and the girl I'm assuming is with him get beside me. 

Vivian's between Robbin and Steven, and it's evident they've been having some fun before meeting us. 

"Sixx!" Robbin lets out, kicking the seat I'm in.

"King!" I reply, kicking his seat, and he chuckles. 

"How was Japan?" He asks, rubbing his nose. 

"I barely remember." I admit with a laugh and he joins me, nodding. 

"Nikki, this is Sally." Slash tells me next and I lean over him to see her. 

She's pretty hot. 

"Nice to meet you." She tells me.

She's Scottish...interesting. 

I hear Vivian giggle and I peek out the corner of my eye and see Robbin whispering something in her ear, and she elbows him, jokingly. 

"You are, just saying." He says to her and she rolls her eyes. "Just get more and more beautiful the longer I go without seeing you." He adds. 

"Shut up." She nudges him. 

"You are." He chuckles. 

"Sleepy is what I am." She states as Steven tells me something, and I try to hear him, but I'm too focused on what Robbin's going on about. 

"Here," he reaches in his pocket and pulls out a baggie of coke, grabbing his keys and getting some on the tip of it, holding it up to her nose. 

She wrinkles her nose and shoos him away. 

"No, no, no." She shakes her head. 

"C'mon."

"No." She keeps her voice light but stern and he lowers it and looks at her with a smirk on his lips. 

Next thing I know, she's laughing out, "Robbin, stop," while King's dumping the dab of coke on the smooth skin of her tit that's pushed up slightly in her strapless dress. 

She squeals and laughs as he snorts it off, I guess because the scratch of his five o'clock shadow tickles or she just gets off on making me mad, then he starts quickly trailing little kisses up her cheek to her ear and she tries to put her ear to her shoulder, laughing more when his other hand tickles at her stomach…he's nearly got her laid out on the seat. 

My foot makes contact with his stomach and I'm nearly barking when I say, "sit your ass down, Robbin," sharply, making it clear I'm not bullshitting him.

"I was just playing, Sixx, damn." He sniffles, wiping his nose.  

"You don't 'play' like that." I throw at him. 

An intense silence falls over all of us and Vivian just brushes what's left of the coke off of her chest and straightens her dress before giving him a soft, reassuring smile. 

Great. Is she fucking him, too? 

When we get to the Cathouse, Vivian stays close to Steven and eventually Sally when the two of them warm up to each other. 

We make it up to V.I.P. and Viv makes a point to try to avoid sitting beside me. 

But I wait for her to sit and I'm sitting right beside her with a smug smirk while she glares at me. 

"What's wrong, baby?" I lean into her ear and ask over the loud music and she just shakes her head. 

I pat myself on the back when she eventually gets up, mumbling about the bathroom, and leaves us. 

After a few (several) lines of blow, I head to the bathroom to piss, deciding to stop by the women's restroom to see what the hell Vivian's doing. 

She probably snuck out of the window. 

I hear the very faint but distinct sound of Vivian crying, guilt stabbing at me. 

I think I took it too far earlier when I called her those shitty things. 

I just go to the men's bathroom and splash my face with water, the buzzing of coke beginning to numb my mind, thoughts of my imploding marriage, band, and life, being locked up and discarded into a black sea of, "it can wait." 

One thing is retrieved, though, thrown a life line and brought back from the depths. 

I look at myself in the mirror, staring myself down as if saying, "don't you fucking do it." 

Once the high kicks in, I can just feel Sikki scrape me from control, locking me away momentarily. 

Next thing I know, I'm standing in the women's bathroom, Vivian still sniffling in the stall...I don't think she knows I'm in here. 

"I got you this far, you fuck." The demon snarls in my ear.

I swallow and clear my throat, making Vivian go silent. 

"Viv, what the fuck's wrong, now?" I ask and she sighs, staying quiet. 

"Nothing, Nikki." She says and I scoff, rubbing my jaw. 

"It's clearly not 'nothing' because I heard you blubbering the past ten minutes." I point out and she opens the stall, door, looking me dead in the eye before pushing past me. 

"A lot on my mind, alright?" She mumbles, going to the sink and I lean against the stall, crossing my arms. 

"Like what?" 

"I don't wanna talk about it, Nikki." She tells me, trying to wipe the smeared mascara away. 

"Well, I can't read your mind, Vivian, so if you're upset with me about something th--"

Her head hangs low, a small sob coming from her throat, tears dropping into the sink, her hands white-knuckling the side of the porcelain…

"I'm upset with you about everything." She admits to me, sorrow lacing her words. 

I haven't seen her like this since Vanity aired our dirty laundry out. 

"Why didn't you tell me sooner? Why didn't you act like--" she cuts herself off, and I realize she's referring to me telling her I loved her while I was in Japan. 

"Where were you, Vivian?" I ask her out of nowhere, getting defensive. 

"Where was I?" She turns to look at me, wiping her tears, rolling her jaw. "Where were you?" She snaps at me. "Where have you been the last four years?" She asks me. 

"I'm not doing this shit here." I grumble, turning to go. 

"You asked me what was wrong, Nikki, and I'm telling you what's wrong because you asked--"

"--I also asked where you've been while I've been out of town, Vivian!" I turn on my heel, snarling. 

"I've been at home, Nikki!" She yells back. "I've been here, and I've been here for six years! Thinking you'd be right here with me but you're not! That's what's wrong! I've wasted six years of my life on someone who--" 

"--You wasted six years of your life?!" I laugh out humorlessly. "How the fuck do you think I feel? How many things I've missed out on because, 'oh, nah, my wife wouldn't like that'?!" I scream. 

"Must not have been too bad because you sure as hell weren't passing up the opportunity to have a year and half long affair with Vanity!" She wretches and it takes everything in me not to tell her I know about her little thing she has going with Duff. 

"Ya know what, I felt bad for calling you an evil bitch and a cunt earlier but fuck it, you are." I reach for the door and I feel something hit at my back, her heel hitting the floor by my boots. 

I turn at glare at her, her emerald eyes lined black, thick lashes blinking slowly, lips parted slightly as she takes in a heavy breath.

I take a step to her, then another and she steps back to the sink. 

When our lips meet, I'm putting her on the sink, wasting no time to get her dress pushed up her legs. 

"Wait, wait, wait," she gasps out, nudging me away while I unbuckle my belt. 

I catch my breath as she gets off the sink and turns around, looking at me in the mirror. 

I just lift her dress and bend her over, pulling her panties to the side before--

"God, you are so high." She grumbles, pulling me from my imagination, picking her heel up and shoving past me.

Damn her. 

I follow after her back to the guys, and within another hour, once she realizes she's just going to be babysitting us--since she's not fun enough to participate in the coke, pills, and booze--she stands up.

"I'm about to head home." She tells us, and the boys groan. 

"Oh, c'mon, Viv!" Steven complains as she leans down to hug him and tell him bye. 

"I'm tired, Stevie." She states, chuckling, wrapping her arms around Slash's neck from behind him, and he pats her hand. 

"See ya," he tells her. 

"Bye." She says. "It was nice to meet you." She says to Sally, next. 

"You, too." Sally replies. 

"C'mere, c'mere, c'mere!" Robbin calls over the music and she raises a brow and stand behind him, leaning over to see what he wants. 

He just grabs her hand and puts it over his heart. 

"You feel that?" He asks her. 

"Yeah, it feels like you're about to go into cardiac arrest." She comments. 

"It's because of you." He dopily replies and she rolls her eyes and pushes at his chest, shaking her head. 

"You're a mess." She tells him and he kisses the top of her hand. 

"Goodnight, Viv, it was good to see you again." He tells her. 

"It was good to see you, too." She replies, smiling, before pulling away. "Bye, Nikki." She says to me in passing. 

"Fuck you, too!" I call after her as she heads to the stairs. 

The next time I'd see her, she'd be trying to help Sally, Duff, and Steven resuscitate me, and eventually trying to throw herself from the balcony in an attempt to not be left behind while I moved on to where ever the hell we go when we die, begging me not to leave her. I didn't, thanks to adrenaline...but even if I did die, if I had anything to do with it, I still wouldn't have left her.

[outlawsworld]

Trusting Strangers - Chapter 10

Arthur Morgan x Female reader

Summary: Reader and Arthur's relationship is growing. You go on a job together and end up with a night under the stars.

Warnings: violence, mentions of rape and a whole lat of fluff.

Notes: This chapter was so much fun to write! I hope you are still enjoying it and don't forget to let me know what you think and like and reblog ❤️ I've got so many ideas of what's going to happen so please bare with me! 🤠

Chapter 1

--

You walked into your tent feeling the rush of excitement wanting to burst out of you. Every inch of your body was ecstatic and you jumped around your tent quietly letting a small burst of your happiness out before you exploded. Your cheeks started to ache from smiling so much and you could feel the hot redness filling them. The last thing you expected from tonight was to end it in Arthur's arms again, with his soft lips against yours. Only this time he didn't pull away from you, he didn't leave you standing in the woods alone. You undressed into your nightwear and laid on your cot staring at the tent ceiling. Your eyes were dry from such a long day but you couldn't sleep with the thoughts of the night flooding your head. It must have been the early hours of the morning before sleep finally took over your body. When you woke up your body were sore. You hadn't had much sleep over the last couple of days because of everything being on your mind and it was starting to take it's toll. As you sat up from your cot your eyes suddenly widened as you realised that what had happened last night wasn't a dream. Quickly you pulled on your trousers and blue shirt. You fell over whilst trying to pull your boots on, rushing, eager to see Arthur. As you stepped out of your tent you saw the rest of camp was already in full flow. Everyone was already going about their daily chores, the sun was high in the sky and the morning birds had already sang their songs. You must have slept in, which was a first for you. As you scanned the camp you found that Arthur had already gotten up and left, Dutch and Bill too. Then your eyes landed on a very angry looking Mrs Grimshaw. Your eyes met which meant there was no escaping her wrath now. She marched over to you as you still stood in front of your tent, looking very much bewildered by the fact you had slept in.

''Miss (Y/N)'' Mrs Grimshaw was now directly in front of you. ''Are you feeling well rested?'' she looked at your face sternly waiting for an answer.

''I guess, Mrs Grimshaw'' you looked at your feet trying to ignore her gaze.

''Good, now get to your chores. Seen as this is not a usual thing for you I will let you off'' she smiled at you. ''Don't let it happen' again'' she pointed her finger at you before marching over to Pearson. You smirked under your breath. You knew she was the one that let you sleep for so long, she must have known how little rest you were actually getting. However, she needed to act tough in camp and if anyone knew you had gotten away with it then there would be hell on. Charles and Kieran had already done all your chores with the horses so you spent the day washing clothes in the river. You didn't mind it so much when you were now able to sit on the sand and look out across the water. No one disturbed you except Sadie who came to wash the pots beside you for a bit. She was curing Pearson again for treating her like a maid.

''I'd love to shove that stew pot up where the sun don't shine'' she giggled. ''Damn bastard''.

''I won't be eatin' my food from that again'' you both laughed as you carried on with your chores.

''So....'' she paused looking at you with a intrigued smile on her face. You glanced at her furrowing your brow in anticipation to what she was about to say. ''Where did you and Arthur sneak off to last night?''. You felt as if your heart momentarily stop beating and a flush of heat rose to your cheeks.

''Sadie Adler'' you shook your head at her. ''I didn't take you for a gossipin' kinda gal''.

''Oh I ain't but I saw the way you looked at each other whilst dancing'' her voice was soft now and joking aside. ''then you run off into the woods'' she cocked her eyebrow at you before a devilish smile appeared. ''Can't fool me. I know something goin' on. You two have been ignorin' each other for days and then suddenly you are back smilin' again. I ain't a gossip, I'm just nosey''. You couldn't help but laugh at her comments. Sadie was probably the only girl you trusted with something like this, she was the most like you. She wasn't a fan of gossip and you knew she wouldn't tell the others. Your rose cheeks had already given away your secret. ''I won't tell anyone, I promise'' she pleaded whilst motioning a cross on her heart. You scan around to make sure no one was lurking or close enough to hear your convocation. 

''Alright, alright but you don't tell a sole'' you sighed, defeated. ''I ain't good at this and to be honest I didn't want anyone knowin' until we had figured it out'' you took one more quick look around before closing the distance between you and Sadie. ''So, I kinda care for him....a lot. We've been spendin' so much time together that I didn't even realise I had feelin's for him. Nothing too excitin' happened in the woods last night. We just talked and.....Well... we kissed but that's it'' you spoke in a whisper. Sadie's jaw dropped slightly before she smiled.

''I knew it'' she cheered quietly. ''So why the hell were you both igorin' each other for so long?''. You explained the situation to her and spoke about all the confusing feeling you had. Sadie listened to every word intently, you didn't realise how relieving it was to actually speak to someone about everything. It was as though a big weight had been lifted off of you and you could understand your feelings a lot more. You had learnt to keep your feeling to yourself but being able to talk to someone made you feel so much lighter.

''Well I'm glad, for both of your sakes, that you worked it out'' she smiled sweetly at you. ''Can't believe out of all the men in the world to be sweet on, Arthur Morgan, was the one for ya'' she teased you. You both giggle as you finished the last of the clothes that needed washing before gathering them up and heading back into camp. Sadie stayed at the river side, trying to prolong facing Pearson again. As you were hanging up the wet clothes to dry you heard Uncle call you which drew your attention to him. He was stood by one of the big trees in camp with Arthur, who must have returned from his job this morning. Uncle also called Bill and Charles over to him which made you wonder if you were going to be asked to go on a job. You slowly made your way over to the four men smiling sweetly as you and Arthur briefly made eye contact.

''What are you talkin' about?'' Bill asked, clearly irritated by the old man.

''Arthur, is above a little stick up I heard about'' Uncle teased which Arthur immediately took offence to and was quick to defend himself.

''No I'm not'' he growled.

''But you just said.....''

''Hey I'll do it'' he cut Uncle off before giving a devilish grin. ''As long as you ride with us'' he pointed at Uncle who's face went pale. You, Charles and Bill all glanced at each other amused by the shock on Uncles face.

''I got a serious medical condition'' he fumbles for an excuse. Arthur started to laugh in the old mans face.

''Yes, you are a compulsive liar'' Arthur chuckled whilst taking a drag from his cigarette.

''No need to be like that'' Uncle turned his attention to you and Charles. ''Charles, (Y/N), have I ever lied to you?''.

''I hardly know you'' Charles responded confused by the question.

''Don't look at me, I've been here for less time then Charles'' you smirked. Arthur wouldn't back down, if Uncle didn't ride with you all, then the job wasn't happening. It didn't take long before Uncle gave in and agreed to help before mounting up. He explained that it was a supply wagon carrying payroll which supposedly won't be guarded.

''As long as we get paid or you get shot, I'm happy'' Arthur bellowed before putting out his cigarette and mounting up. You couldn't help but giggle under your breath at the way he antagonised the old man. Charles, Bill and yourself also mounted your horses and followed Uncle out of camp. You rode beside Arthur and noticed the Deputy badge pinned to his shirt.

''Law man now, huh?'' you teased pointing out the golden badge.

''Seems like it'' he smirked back at you. ''Somethin' to do with Dutch's plan apparently''.

''I hope you don't get too attached to it or you'll be takin' us all in yourself''.

''I guess we will have to see'' he teased you back. Your heart lit up when he looked at you, he always managed to spark something warm inside your chest whenever your eyes met. When you reached the location that the wagon would be passing through your mind was elsewhere, so much so that you almost ran into Charles' horse. Your cheeks blushed with embarrassment as Arthur watched you fumble back into reality with a smirk on his face. The five of you waited patiently for the wagon to appear over the hill. Uncle was right, it wasn't guarded, just the driver and one other man. You rode over as it turned off at the crossroad. Bill heckled them to pull over and Uncle stopped his horse in front of them so they had to stop. Bill had his gun on one man and you had yours pointed at the other while Charles and Arthur looked in the back and grabbed what they could. You looked over your shoulder and saw another wagon quickly coming down the track.

''Shit, we've got company'' you yelled. The wagon coming down the track was being followed by men on horses with guns who had spotted you trying to rob the other wagon. Before you knew it they were coming after you. ''Charles, Arthur, hurry up. We need to get outta here''. They quickly jumped from the wagon and mounted there horses before the five of you galloped away from the on coming attack. Bullets were flying past you, barely missing you and the men were gaining speed. You spurred Dallas into a faster gallop as you grabbed your rifle from over your shoulder. Arthur and Bill were already shooting back at the men who were on your tail. You turned in your saddle, hoping Dallas would follow Uncle and Charles, as you began to fire back at the men. A bullet flew right past your shoulder and you aimed your rifle at the man who fired it, taking him down with one headshot. The three of you managed to pick off a couple of them but there were too many.

''Quick, get of the trail. Into the woods'' Uncle called out to you all. You turned back in your saddle and followed him with Arthur close behind you. The five of you galloped through the trees, getting hit from small branches that you were unable to duck under. A small house with a barn was just on the other side of the trees which would be a good place to hide and lay low. You followed the boys by dismounting Dallas and giving him a small slap to flee the area before going into the barn to take cover and rest. For now it looked like you had lost them but you knew the best thing was to wait until it was dark before leaving for camp. You went to the back of the barn, hidden behind a stall wall, and sat down with your back leaning against the wooden panel. This would be the last place to look if someone came in as it had great cover, just in case you fell asleep. The others stayed at the front of the barn, out of view from you but you could hear their mumblings. Charles was on watch and you soon heard the light snoring coming from Uncle and Bill.

''You alright?'' you looked up to see Arthur's tall figure stood looking down over you.

''Yeah, how about yourself?'' you asked in a hushed voice. He came and sat right next to you, not leaving much space between the both of you.

''I'm alright'' he smiled sweetly at you. ''Shouldn't be too long till it gets dark and we can get outta here. He's a fool that old man''.

''Better then delivering letters'' you smirked trying to lighten the mood. Arthur nodded in agreement. You wanted to carry on the convocation but you knew it was better to keep quiet in case there were any men looking for you outside. Instead you shuffled closer to him and rested your head on his broad shoulder. He slightly tensed at first but then rested his cheek on your head as he relaxed. It was a good job the others couldn't see you now or they would definitely know something was going on between the two of you. The comfort of having him right beside you meant you slowly kept on falling in and out of sleep. You felt his warmth as you leant against him, each deep breath he took and the hitch in his breath whenever you moved because he didn't want to disturb you. When you woke up fully, you realised Arthur had also fallen asleep next to you with his head still resting on yours but it had gotten dark outside so you knew you had to wake him. Gently you placed your hand on his chest and shook him. He was an extremely light sleeper and that was enough to alert him, he sat upright before turning to you. His eyes looked deep into yours as he moved his hand to gently caress your cheek before placing a light kiss on your lips. The small gesture ignited the warm feeling in your chest and you couldn't help the shy smile you gave him as he stood up to wake the others. You took a deep breath to remind yourself of the situation at hand, rather then keeping your mind on Arthur, and stood up to return to the others. There was a light coming from the house as a couple of men approached the front door. It was a couple of the men from earlier asking the owners of the property if they had noticed anyone running through here.

''Damn. L-L-L-L-Let's just....Keep this calm'' Arthur instructed. ''See what happens''. You all took cover in the barn hiding behind pillars and stall walls. You found yourself in the same place you had been in all night, crouched down, occasionally looking around the stall wall to see what was happening. The owner pointed out that he heard noises at the barn where you were currently taking cover. Two men approached the barn quietly and began to look round. The five of you remained still as the men searched the barn.

''The place looks empty to me'' one of the men shouted to the other. He was about to walk away when Bill kicked an empty can by his foot which caused the man to turn back realising we were all hidden there. God damn it Bill. Is he not capable of staying hidden.

''Shit'' Bill cursed as he shot the man at the front of the barn. The men from the house were alerted by this and started firing on all of you. You got up from your cover and ran to the front of the barn to shoot at the men coming from the house. It was dark and misty which made it hard for you to see where the men firing at you were coming from. You could only see outlines of people as they moved and they now had you surrounded. Charles and yourself were still based at the front of the barn, gunning down anyone coming from the house while Arthur, Bill and Uncle took on the others coming from the side. The men were coming out of nowhere and there was no way of telling how many were firing at you. There was a bright glow coming from the corner of the barn, you turned to see that one of the men had thrown there lanterns which had smashed setting fire to the dry wood.

''Shit.....Fire'' Charles shouted to all of you. The fire grew rapidly, like an untameable stallion rising up. Before you knew it the fire had spread to the roof of the barn and the smoke was burning at the back of your throat everytime you took a breath.

''If we don't get outta here soon....we're gonna be charcoal'' Arthur was now by your side, blocking the small bits of debris that was falling from the roof from hitting you. You took a step back, looking up to the roof that was about to concave and engulf you all in flames.

''This way'' you herd Bill call out to you from the back of the barn. He had found a small opening that you could climb through to get out. The heat from the burning wood was kissing your skin and you could barely see through the smoke. You followed Bill and Uncle out of the small gap with Charles and Arthur right behind you. Taking a deep breath of fresh air as you ran back towards the trees for cover. You decided to split up into two groups. Arthur was with Uncle and Charles with Bill.

''(Y/N), with us'' Charles beckoned you to follow him. You and Arthur quickly glanced at each other not wanting to leave one another but you had no time to think or argue. Following Charles and Bill, you quickly ran through the woods and tried to find some cover. "If you do anything stupid Mr Williamson, you're on your own" Charles threatened as Bill scoffed back at him. There were some big boulders that the three of you managed to hide behind. You managed to catch your breath while crouching down for cover, listening to any oncoming people. A small group of men soon appeared in the tree line with their rifles at the ready. The three of you remained quiet as you aimed your guns at the men walking in your direction. You waited for Charles to give you the signal to shoot but you heard shots being fired from deeper in the woods. They were coming from where Arthur and Uncle had gone. The group of men turned their attention to the sounds.

''Come on boys. That way'' one of them spoke up. Just as they were about to run off to the noises. Charles stood up shouting at you to fire. All three of you were now shooting at the group of men. They immediately took cover but between the three of you, you managed to take some of them out. Your shots were now useless as the bullets were bouncing off the trees. The best way of getting to them was to flank them. You shot Charles a quick look which he nodded at, knowing exactly what needed to be done. Charles and Bill both stood trying to draw the men's fire as you took the opportunity to sneak round and attack them from behind. You kept crouched down as you quietly made your way around them, keeping yourself in the shadows. There were four men left and you had a good shot on all of them from your new position. You took cover behind a tree and noticed Arthur and Uncle had now joined Charles and Bill behind the rock. Arthur managed to kill one of the four men as the man glanced out from behind his cover. Leaving only three to deal with. You aimed your rifle at the first man, taking him out smoothly. The other two men turned to you as you had now given away your position. Shots were now being aimed at you, you crouched behind the tree for cover knowing that this would give the boys the opportunity to approach them and take out the last two men. Arthur and Bill did just that and the two men fell down dead.

''We all still alive?'' Arthur asked. You stood up from behind the tree and regrouped with the four men.

''Just about'' Bill answered gruffly.

''Yeah, I'll deal with you later'' Arthur turned his attention to Uncle. His brow was furrowed and his face had gone red with anger.

''We got some money, didn't we?'' Uncle defended himself.

''Leave it, go on, get out of here'' Arthur shooed them all away. ''Everyone split up, come on, get going''.

''Good luck gents, (Y/N)'' Charles nodded to you and you watched as they all left in different directions. You were about to run off in another direction when Arthur gabbed your arm.

''Not you'' he smirked. ''You're comin' with me Darlin'.'' the rumble in his tone made you shiver. You followed him through the woods as he whistled for his horse. Dallas was nowhere to be seen but you suspected he would have gone back to camp. Siego came cantering over, through the trees to you both . Arthur mounted then held out his hand to help you to sit up, behind the saddle. Once you were both on you wrapped your arms round Arthur's waste to keep balanced and he kicked Siego into a steady canter. You had plenty of practise riding bareback so keeping stable on the back of the horse wasn't too hard a task for you. The smell of cigarettes and whiskey reminted from Arthur's shirt as you clung onto him. ''You alright back there'' he shouted to you as he placed on hand to rest gently on your lower thigh.

''Yeah, just fine'' you smiled at his touch. ''Where are we goin'?''.

''I wanna show you somethin'.'' you rode together quietly until Arthur turned off the track and up a steep hill through some trees. You stared blankly through the trees to try and understand why he had brought you to this place. ''Here'' he pulled Siego to a halt and dismounted before helping you down. ''Follow me'' he pulled out his lantern and lit it as you followed him up the rest of the hill until you came to a clearing where Arthur stopped. It was a small patch of open grass right on the very peak of the hill. You turned to him, cocking an eyebrow at him, confused to why he brought you to this little area. He smirked when he saw your confusion. ''Look up''. You did as he said and looked into the pitch black night sky.

''I don't see much, just a couple stars'' you pointed out.

''Keep lookin'.'' Arthur spoke softly as he blew out the lantern. Suddenly the black sky was filled with millions of stars that filled the darkness with light and colour. You had never seen anything so beautiful in your whole life. Each star was visible and glowing so brightly that you didn't need any lights to see. Your jaw dropped and your eyes widened at the spectacle of the night sky.

''It's beautiful'' you spoke breathlessly. ''How did you find this place?'' you didn't want to look away in case your eyes were playing tricks on you.

''I stumbled across it one night as I was out thinkin'. Thought you might like it'' Arthur sat in the grass. You decided to lay down next to him and stare at the sky, he followed you and laid his back on the grass.

''What were you thinkin' bout?'' you turned to look at him. The light from the stars twinkled in his eyes as he faced you too.

''You'' he admitted. He lent up on one elbow so he could hover almost above you. ''You're all I ever think about'' he paused looking deeply into your eyes. That warm feeling in your chest came back, you bit your bottom lip whilst he looked over you. Every inch of you was trembling with a mix of excitement and nerves. Heat rushed to your cheeks and you could feel flutters in your stomach. He was so close to you that you could feel his breath on your skin. You longed for him, looking at his lips, only inches away from yours. He took your glances as a plea and leant in to kiss you gently. Your whole body began to tingle as he moved his free hand to your hip. You moved your hand and tangled your fingers in his light brown hair. As both your lips moved against each others the kiss slowly became more intimate. Arthur's hand started to wonder from your hip down your thigh to your knee. He grasped a hold of the back of your knee and brought your leg over his hips until you were straddling him. Your torso now pressed against his and using your elbows on either side of his head to balance yourself. You didn't break the kiss, still desperate for one another. The feeling of his warm body in-between your legs made your thighs burn. His hands started to wonder up and down your body leaving warm trails where he touched. It was perfect, just the two of you under the beautiful night sky. The way you felt in this moment was something you had never experienced in your entire life. It was as though everything you have ever needed in life was right there with you and nothing could break you apart. You could feel his heart racing in his chest as you were laid over him. Each time you took a breath you would look into each others eyes and melt back into the kiss again. The kiss started to become passionate and hungry for one another. Both your tongue's dancing together in synchronisation. You felt how hungry he was for you as his manhood grew under his trousers. Suddenly, you panic. All the good that you were just feeling was flushed from your body and panic overtook it. Heat rushed from your body to your skin leaving you feeling cold inside but sweating in pure fear. You broke the kiss, got off his hips and stood up in a mad rush. Each breath you took seemed to get harder and harder until you felt like you were suffocating.

"Whoa, easy" Arthur was by your side before you knew it. He wrapped his arms around you and pulled you close to his chest whilst whispering softly to you. You could feel the tears stinging your eyes and you buried your face in his shirt, gasping for breath. He held you while you cried trying to calm you down. "Easy. It's alright. I'm here" he whispered to you. You listened to each word he said, hearing the raspiness from his thick acent. As you breathed heavily, you took in his smell and the feeling of his muscled chest beneath your fingertips. Focusing on him, every breath he took and sound he made brought you slowly out of you panic until you managed to catch your breath. He didn't let his grip on you go until your breathing was back to normal and the sounds of your whimpers had stopped. Quietly he took a step back just releasing you enough so he could see your face. "You alright? I didn't mean to scare ya" he spoke softly. You raised your head to look at him. Your eyes were bloodshot from crying and small wet trails ran down your cheeks.

"It ain't your fault" your voice was shaken. "I'm just damaged goods" you shook you head as you stepped away from him. You were so embarrassed and frustrated by your blind panic that you daren't look at him. You found a spot on the grass and sat down with knees hugged to your chest. Arthur came and sat by your side again and you hid your face from him in your knees.

"You ain't damaged goods" he nudged you, trying to cheer you up. "Wanna talk about it?" you looked up from your knees to catch his concerned look. You felt sick to your stomach at the thought of how you just made him feel. He had done everything to make this moment perfect and you screwed it up. You owed him an explanation.

"It wasn't your fault. I guess I just panicked..." you paused to take a deep breath. "I've only ever consented to this sorta thing once and that was before.... For a long time I was forced into lettin' those men touch me and use me at their own pleasure. They would hold me down or beat me until I gave in. Or they would just force themselves upon me. I guess I just associate being touched in that way to....well, to back then. It wasn't you at all Arthur" you looked into his eyes. He looked at you the same way he once did when you were tied to the wagon, you saw the sorrow in his expression. Tears threatened to leave your eyes again. You wanted more than anything to be intimate with Arthur in this way but ghosts from your past haunted your mind. "I've never been more comfortable with anyone before. I just got memories that flash through my head and I just panicked. I'm sorry".

"You have nothin' to be sorry for (Y/N)" he cut you off. "What happened to you, I'm surprised you let me touch you at all" he gave you a sweet smile as he laid down on the grass. "Come 'er" he held his arm out for you to lay down with him. You laid on your side next to him with your head on his shoulder and arm over his chest. "We don't have to rush into anythin' your not comfortable with. I promise you, no one will ever hurt ya again, not as long as I'm around" he pulled you in tighter to his body and you felt safe and secure. You were so glad he understood, he didn't force himself upon you because he was in the mood. All your fears slowly drifted away as he held you in his warm embrace. You knew you could trust Arthur but now he confirmed that he would never hurt you. Not just with his words but by his actions. The night sky was still full of bright stars, glistening down for just the both of you to enjoy. You spoke sweetly to one another for a couple of hours until you felt your eyes getting heavy. You can't remember when you fell asleep but you knew you had never felt more comfortable then in Arthur's arm's that night. As though nothing in the world could hurt you as long as he was there.

--

Chapter 11

@nena-ma

[tk-productions]

Mystic Sisters- Ch.18 On the Run

Materlist🌙🌹

Hikari's Pov

I sat next to Yua on the train headed towards Yokohama. We left the church early this morning. Neither one of us knew where we were going. We decided to go somewhere so we can figure out what to do. We just had to be away from our parents. That night after everything that happened Yua still tried to reason with Dad.

"Dad" Yua pleaded, grabbing his shirt sleeve. "I just want you to listen to me for once. There's weird things happening to Hikari and I-."

'Go to bed. I'm too tired to deal with this." He deadpanned, snatching his shirt from Yua's grip. There was no emotion on his face and no sincerity in his voice.  I watched him walk past her up to his bedroom.

"Too tired to care about your kids huh? It's like you don't want us here." Yua whispered.

"It'd be easier wouldn't it?" He snapped from the top of the stairs. Maybe things would be easier if we didn't adopt you two. You were suspicious about living her since day one. If it wasn't for you mom I would have given you back."

I shook Yua, waking her up from her slumber. She opened her eyes and yawned. The train stopped and we quickly got off the train. We found a small hotel nearby that was next to a convenience store. We stopped there first to stock up on food and water. Getting back to our room I plopped down on the bed. I took my phone out and stared at the wallpaper. There were no new messages or missed

"No calls or texts?" Yua asked, laying down next to me. I shook my head tossing my phone beside me.

"We left yesterday and our so-called parents don't even care. I would say I'm shocked but I'm really not."

Yua and I ate breakfast that consisted of juice and pancakes. After we ate I took a shower. I took off my jacket and shivered because of how cold the room was. I pulled off my beanie and tossed it in the pile of my clothes on the bathroom floor. Something about it felt off. I quickly turned back and picked the beanie up. This wasn't mine. It was Akio's. I guess when I was packing I grabbed his hat and not mine. I shook my head, placing Akio's beanie on the bathroom counter. Yua isnt gonna let me hear the end of this is she?  When I came out of the shower Yua was under the blankets snoring loudly. There was a chair by the window so I decided to sit there and read for awhile. Well attempt to read over my sister's snoring. The sky was gray and cloudy. It looked like it could rain or maybe even snow. A few minutes later it started to rain. I watched the rain fall down and leave droplets on the window. I ran my fingers over the cold glass turning the water into frozen ice. Placing my palm on the window it started to heat up and immediately melt. The window turned hot making me move my hand back. What don't tell me I have fire powers now? The room was cold so I grabbed a blanket off the bed and wrapped myself in it. Before I knew it I had fallen asleep.

Yua's pov

I sat at the edge of the lake watching the ducks take a late night swim. The moonlight beamed down on the water beautifully.

"Yua you're gonna freeze" Haru said from behind me, making me jump. He wrapped his jacket around me and sat beside me. He was still dressed in his training gear meaning he must have just gotten back.

"What are you doing out here anyways? It's late."

"Feeding the ducks."  I told him handing him the bag of bread crumbs. He tossed a hand full and the ducks gathered around. It was silent between us but it was a comfortable silence. The only sound came from the ducks happily eating.

"Still thinking about what your mom said?" Haru finally said. I nodded bringing my knees to my chest.

"It's a lot of responsibility. Taking care of my sister and one day taking over the kingdom. I don't know if I'm ready for that yet.

"Well I know once you fully turn you'll be ready. I can already see it when we train?

"Yeah?" I questioned turning to look at him. He nodded. "Your parent's see it too. You've already learned so much. Don't stress about it. When it's time you'll do fine. Plus you have Hikari and I." He smiled.

"Yeah but you're the only one that Will remember any of this" I laughed. "Even when I do see you again I won't know who you are."

"You'll remember one day too. Once you get your memories back you'll remember everything. Including this moment now.  that part was true. One day we'll all be able to come back to the castle. There won't be people coming after Hikari and I. Well if they do we'll be ready for them.

I woke up to the sound of rain hitting the window. It was pouring rain. Checking the time on my phone it was 4:52pm. I closed my eyes trying to process the dream I just had.

"Hikari?" I called out. She didn't respond so I sat up and noticed she wasn't in bed with me. I saw her sleep in the chair with the blanket falling off. I picked the blanket off the floor and wrapped her in it. She stirred a little in her sleep mumbling something.

"Hm?" I asked.

"Akio..." she mumbled again.

"So first you steal his hat and now you're having dreams about him" I smirked.

I laid back in the bed starving up at the ceiling. This dream was just like the last one. This time everything was more clear. Maybe what I was seeing was a memory. Everything about it seemed real. Plus Haru and I talked about me not being able to remember. What wouldn't I remember? That night? Or was there more? The last time I tried to talk to Haru about it he got defensive. Maybe that's why. He mentioned that I would start to remember. Did he not want me to? I knew then but now I know he's not telling me something. It would make sense with the way he's been acting lately.

"I knew he was lying."

"Who?" Hikari asked. I opened my eyes and she was standing over me. I grabbed the pillow next to me hitting her in the head with it.

"Why are you watching me sleep?"

"Why'd you hit me?" She pouted.

"Why are you having dreams about Akio?" I shot back.

"What?"

I cocked my head to the side grinning at her, she rolled her eyes and picked up the pillow hitting me with it. After hitting me she sat down across from me. I sat up while Hikari stared at me.

"Why are you staring at me?"

"I'm hungry" I signed, grabbing my phone. "You're always hungry

"Sushi"? She nodded smiling happily.

Riyoshi Pov

"Where the hell are they?!" Haru growled giving Akio and I a death glare. He tried his best to be intimidating but he wasn't. Honestly I don't know what Yua sees in this guy.

"We told you we don't have them.'' I said, stepping closer.

"I don't believe you. Now tell me or get your ass beat."

I chuckled and looked back at Akio. "Do you hear this guy."

"Yea he's pretty delusional and persistent." The younger one said in an annoyed tone.

"Aye! I'm right here and I can hear you." Haru walked up to me grabbing my collar. "Tell me where they are." he demanded.

"So you're like the bodyguard? You suck man, Like legit who trained you?"

I must have pissed him off as his face scrunched up and he launched me as far as he could but his throw had no aggression whatsoever. I landed on my two feet easily. "Now you pissed me off."

"Yo Riyoshi we are really wasting our time on this dude. I kicked his ass like a week and a half ago so imagine what you could do."

I sighed in irritation. "Don't ruin this man I need to let off a little steam anyway." Akio put his hands up and backed up as if I needed more space.

"Ahh lil tough guy huh. Your mommy teach you that?" Haru taunted.

"What are you 11." I said as I pulled at least 5 daggers out of my weapons belt "Any Last words buddy?"

"Yea. I'm not your buddy" Haru spat.

"That attitude makes me wanna shoot you instead but I have no wooden bullets for you today."I sucked my teeth mad at myself. "Too bad you'll die slower I guess." I shrugged then launched all 5 daggers at him.  He dodged a couple of them but since I'm savage I threw a few extra that he didn't see. Hitting him in both legs,his Right ankle, his chest and face.

These hits weren't fatal but he won't realize that till later. I ran up and kicked the dagged further into his chest and watched him fall to the ground groaning in pain and eventually passing out. "Damn that was quick"

"He might get back up, he had more fight in him when I was up against him."

"You didn't launch 5 daggers into his pressure points though. And the one in his face will definitely leave a scar.

"Did that one for fun."

"You really scare me sometimes man." Akio said with a straight face "he's not dead tho. I thought you were gonna kill him."

"Nah I really wanna shoot him so he'll have to wait till I finish carving bullets for that."

"Why do you wanna use weapons so bad?"

"Because I cant use them on Levi and I really wanna shoot him."

"Makes sense." Akio nodded in understanding and turned his attention to the knocked out vampire.

"That is just sad. Imagine being that weak Amelia would have our head for a failure this bad."

"You're thinking about Amelia, I'm thinking about our big boss, imagine that."

"You're right. That's worse."

"Let's go find those girls. It's about time we get your favorite hat back." I told him in a stern voice.

"Why is your anger suddenly directed at me?"

"No reason. But if you fuck this up just remember." I motioned my arms as if they were around his neck. "Remember this?"

Akio gulped "That's not right."

I tapped him on his shoulder. "You make the final decision so don't be scared yet." before walking away like I didn't just threaten to put him in a death hold while he stared at me in disbelief.

[guigz1-coldwar]

'Old wounds' : New chapter for "Redemption in a Spirit in a Cold War" is out !

"Old wounds"

"I came back for you....I had to do it because you're the one I owe my life !"

Chapter Summary : It's time for Yirina, Park, Zasha, Garrett & Price to get things done with Stone for good but the old complex in Cuba is going to open some bad wounds.....

To read it on AO3, click here !

Words : +3800

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It was it....tonight is going to be the night where Stone's life is going to end for real, he will have no chance to escape and we can't allow him to do that, everything we have done for the past two weeks against him....it will be tonight that everything will be decided and for everyone....me, Park, Zasha, Garrett, Price and his SAS men, letting Stone live another day wasn't an option at all, Stone is going to die but....during all this operation, I will have to face something else : the fact that we're going to fight to the same place where Lazar died, it will be an big struggle that I'm going to do.

And that fight inside of me was starting right after we got off the meeting point to join the complex, travelling to it by walk through the jungle. As we said, me, Park, Zasha, Price & some his mens were coming us while Garrett was taking another direction with the other SAS soldiers. Us were going to infiltrate the complex by the same way we used three years ago by the north while the others will take the attack by the south, let's hope it will not end in an disaster, it's the only thing I want.

After long minutes of walk inside the jungle, taking care of looking around us to check for any traps, we arrived near the complex, the same point that we used to wait last time with Park & Lazar that was in an abandoned building and by luck, nothing has pretty changed in here, including the old point of view that was allowing us to get an closer look on the main target : the abandoned hotel where Stone was obligated to hide.

"This place is looking like an fortress !" Price exclaimed as he was overlooking the hotel with his binoculars, he was right about, the place was even more protected than the last time with more sandbags and mounted MGs around the place. "This bastard isn't going to give up easily." He added, removing his binoculars from his eyes to look at us.

"Stone was aware that we were on him since weeks so he found himself means to defend his life." I said, remembering the conversation he got with Sonya Kuzmin in that phonebooth in West-Berlin an week ago, he knew of it. "I'm even sure that he's probably waiting for us to come."

"Maybe but we can't back down and we will not do this." Park affirmed, crossing her arms towards me, biting her left part of her bottom lips. "I'm not going to let Stone breath in the morning." She continued, taking an look on her MP5 at her feets.

"No one want this, Helen." Price told her, his binoculars in hands, having turned himself to look at her fully. "SAS wasn't going to let an rogue element continue to make our name dirty." He breathed as he was seeing Park's face trying to keep straight. "We're doing this for you, for William."

"William ?" Zasha stepped in, curious to hear that and frankly, I wouldn't want them to ask about this because it was an hot topic to talk about.

"It's...was Park's brother, an man I have in command, Smirnov." Price replied, not sure of telling them this as he was still looking to Park.

"Zed." I whispered, putting my left hand on their shoulder slowly.  "You don't need to know about this." I said discreetly to them.

"I....I....okay." They expressed, understanding that talking about this was not an good idea, especially right now moments before we could actually act. "Do we go in force or in an discreet way ?" They asked, looking at Price.

"In force." Park was the one to respond to them, scratching the back of her head, looking at the hotel. "Even if we're making this in silence, Stone could know that we're here, it's better that we're showing him directly that."

"Stone was one of us and he know exactly how we're working so by going in force, he will be confused as going like that isn't the SAS style." Price proclaimed, his eyes on Zasha before he took his binoculars again to check the place up. "My men know exactly how it's going to work, sometimes we have to go off-grid to get things done."

"Get our hands dirty to keep the world clean...." I breathed as it was like the main thing that was highlighting the world of spies and black ops and everyone in here knows about it. "It's been like that everyday." I added to my statement as I look to my glovesless left hand, observing the burn mark that I had since years.

"How did this happened ?" Price asked, having seen my hand like that.

"That ?" I showed to him slowly my hand "I don't know...my memories never told me why I have this." I answered before I look at Zasha. "Do you know something about this ?"

"Uhm....no, you were never willing to talk about this to me or anyone else." Zasha shook their head as I hoped to have an answer from them, they were the one who really helped me to get some memories back but this mark is going to stay an mystery until I know. "I just know that you already had it when I joined you in the KGB."

"Okay." I slowly nodded to them, taking back my own MP5 in hands, an surplus from Park, she's been giving me an lot of things...clothes, guns, means...."Well, do you think we can start to move ?"

"I'll check the other team status." Price told as he was getting his binoculars back to his jacket before taking his radio in hands. "Roach, what's your status ?" He started.

"All good sir, awaiting for your orders to move on." We could heard this Roach talk through the radio.

"Good, we're going in force so be ready to act up at my command." Price ordered before the radio went off, putting it back on his jacket. "Okay, I think we can go now."

"Wait." I stopped everyone as I was looking at the church tower that was overlooking the entire complex. "We might need some snipers to help us." I suggested before I got my eyes on Zasha. "Zed, you remember my lessons in sniper rifles ?"

"Yes, I'm remembering them well." They said, realizing my words as they start to look outside, pointing on the church. "You want me to go on top of this church tower to cover everyone ? I'm in !"

"That's an good idea I didn't thought." Price said, sounding amazed as he turned around to look at one of his men. "Soap ?"

"Yes, sir ?" The man with an strange looking hair got up, an sniper rifle....an LW3 Tundra if I can see right.

"You're taking Smirnov with you on that church tower, give them an sniper rifle and also....don't make an hard fall." Price ordered him and he saluted him before he gesture Zasha to follow him.

"Hard fall ?" I demanded, an bit lost on that...maybe it was an joke....

"Soap managed to survive from the fall he did from an church tower in an old mission, he's really tough to say....an good kid." Price explained to me as he was taking his MP5 on the ground, checking the mag of it before looking at this men "Okay, it's time to get the work done !" He exclaimed and with that, we left the point of view to get out.

All of the stress of going back inside that place was filling me as we were getting out of the building, Zasha and this Soap taking the lead to get in the church in advance before we start to get inside the church too with everyone awaiting for Price's orders to attack. Me....Park, we were pretty nervous about all of this but it was too late to step back and we will never do this like Park said, we're here to stop Stone and we will stop him.

Then, in an instant, Price talked through his radio, signaling the beginning of the attack before we charged throught the door that was leading on the main street that was also leading to the hotel, the same one when Adler and his team got inside the complex last time. We did really surprised Stone's men that was keeping this street from up close and our surprise allowed us to get rid of them all but it wasn't the time to rest already as the gunshots were replacing the silence of the place.

Right after we cleared the street that we had to run to the place in front of the hotel before getting to cover as we were greeted by the multiple mounted MGs around the location : two located at windows and the main one was protecting the entrance to be approached and because of them, we couldn't advance even if we were killing the numerous Stone's men and the corrupted Tropas soldiers around.

"Shit, these MGs is blocking us !" Price yelled as we were all in cover, me reloading my MP5 as Park was making some suppressing fire towards the MG blocking the front door.

"We're not going to pass with them." I exclaimed before suddenly, I heard an loud gunshot and I peak my head to find out that the user of the mounted MGs on the right window that was shooting at everything on us fall back, hit by an sniper rifle but it wasn't finished as seconds later, it was the left one that was out and then, the  one keeping the entrance was hit too. "Who did this ?" I asked, looking at the church tower.

"That was Smirnov, miss." Soap replied through my radio, we were all equipped with radio but Price was the only one that could contact the other team as for us, we were only able to make contact with those on our side.

"Damn, nice shots, Zasha, seems that my training was worth it." I said proudly, firying some bullets towards the few remaining Tropas soldiers still trying to shoot at us.

"Thanks, Yirina, means an lot." They told me on the radio, sounding good.

"Okay, this was the last one of them, we're going to enter the hotel." Price got out of his cover as I was doing the same with Park, aiming our guns towards the entrance. "Part of the team is securing the surroundings. Soap, Smirnov, you're making sure to keep an eye on the roof." He added as we were getting closer to the entrance.

"Yirina, take the lead, I'm behind you." Park suggested and I nodded to her as I start to move on the front, entering the hotel first and by the odds, the entrance wasn't watched by anyone and the gunshots were still audible all around the hotel but then, I heard an explosion and when I look on the ceilling just on top of me, I could see it crack. "Yirina !" Park yelled as I was realizing that the ceilling was going to fall on me and I quickly jumped away before an part of the ceilling fall down and landed right in front of the door, blocking it....I was the only one who got inside. "Shit, Yirina, you're alright ?" She asked on my radio.

"Yes, I'm good." I answered, going up on my feets as I was looking at the debris that was blocking the entrance. "Stone has trapped the place down, I should get move."

"No, it's too risky." Park protested, worried about having me alone in that hotel. "Wait for us."

"I can't, Park." I defended myself, looking around to find an way to get inside the hotel more further to find Stone. "Since Stone's men are fighting the other team, it's going to be good." I breathed, taking my MP5 back on the ground. "I will find Stone, try to find another entrance with Price."

"Okay....okay...take care." Park whispered on my radio before it went off, leaving me alone inside that hotel as they were going to find another way in.

Without wasting any more moments, I decided to move on, taking the same path I used with Park & Lazar years ago as it was the only one available for me with some things that changed  over the years, starting that there were no one that tried to greet me with bullets, not even Stone himself but as I was arriving near an closed door, it was suddenly force opened by an masked man, more looking like an Perseus soldier that was charging me.

I managed to avoid him quickly, putting myself aside before I decide to attempt to kick him with my feet until he succeed in grabbing my leg but this was my plan all along as I make him believe that he was controlling me. He did make me go on the ground not before I was able to put my legs between his arms that did take my leg and taking him with me. Then, once the two of us were on the ground, I hit with my right feet on his head, breaking his neck and killing him.

But before I could got up again, an soldier....this time, an Tropas one was arriving in the room and as he was going to shoot me dead, he was the one who fall down first, having been shot by someone else in the room....but when I looked around, it was only me here alive and no one else...until I looked next to me at my right....seeing Lazar himself....in the same outfit the day he died...

"You're looking like shit." He said to me as he was offering his hand to me....it was an vision and it was so strange....my struggle inside of me is making me hallucinate "Come on, Yirina, take my hand." He added before I resign myself, getting up by that vision, still shocked and confused about it to say, speechless.

"Laz' ?" I breathed, thinking that he was there alive, well with me...

"Do not let yourself down, you got this...do this for me...for Park." He exclaimed before he suddenly vanish from my sight....and the Tropas soldier body too, he wasn't real too, it was just me and that Perseus soldier in that room. I was so stunned by that....having an vision of Lazar here....shit.

"Yirina ?" I could heard Zasha's voice through the radio, breaking me of my thoughts.

"Yea...yes, I'm here !" I regained consciouness of the situation, taking my radio quickly, looking at the door that was broken.

"We've got eyes on Stone, he's on the roof !" They told me as I remember that this room was just next to some staircase that was probably leading to the roof. "Do we take the shot ?" They asked me.

"No, you don't....it's Park who is going to do this." I replied, recalling the promise that Park express to me an time ago. "Keep an eye on him, don't do anything, I'm trying to go on the roof." I said before I got my radio off, taking back my MP5 that was on the ground again before I walk away with great attention.

Like I remembered, there were just an staircase that was going up and to gain time instead of walking throught all of the ground floor, I decided to take them and to go up, trying to get to the roof but unfortunately, the door leading to the roof was blocked by things that I couldn't move by myself without making an big noise, meaning that I will have to find another way to get on top and crossing the last floor entirely.

Thanks to the other team making an lot of noises outside, there were only an few men that were standing in my way to get to the roof, killing them discreetly or if I wasn't able too, making sure that they weren't going to tell that I was here and finally, I found an way to get on the roof, the same way we used to run to the roof. It was during that walk that I could see the fight between the SAS and Stone's men and the SAS were gaining the advantage, seeing Garrett from afar as he was executing an soldier on the ground.

Since the SAS were advancing, I preferred to get along and to go to the roof....until I realized that I did arrived at the same place where I saw Lazar for the last time. By seeing it again, I found myself to have an vision of that day, seeing myself, Park & Lazar on the ground but then, something hit me by behind on my back, making me fall on my fours, still alive as I could see the feets of someone coming in front of me

"Fucking hell, is that Grigoriev herself ?" That voice, it was Stone himself, having seen me arrive or was awaiting for someone else. I looked up to see that he wasn't wearing an hood, seeing the man like in my first memory I had of him, holding an pipe before he hit me in the chest with his feets, putting myself on the ground. "That's for fucking with me !"

"Harry Stone !" I whispered, looking at him in the eyes, with him that got an smile on his face.

"Who do you think it was, you stupid bitch ?" He said, mixed between anger and happiness to see me like this. "Maybe that Freya is going to kill me but damn, I really want to kill you !"

"Fuck you, Stone." I scoffed before he decide to kick me right in the face, causing some blood to get out of my mouth, feeling the taste of it inside.

"Stubborn to the end, Grigoriev !" He then threw away his pipe to take out an pistol in his hand. "Let me get you up." He moved to get me up in an hard way, making sure that I was going to suffer enough, putting his pistol cannon right behind my neck. "You're not going to need this." He told me as he was removing my bulletproof vest that was covering my jacket before he got me at gunpoint, standing up to face the way the only way usable to get here.

"Yirina !" I was able to hear Park's voice coming near and not through my radio.

"Oh, let the show begin." Stone whispered to himself, holding me still with his gun before Park arrived with Price, some blood on their clothes...wasn't theirs, I believed.

"Stone !" Price was the one who saw me & Stone here, aiming his MP5 towards him.

"You son of an bitch, let her go !" Park ordered furiously, her MP5 aiming Stone's head but she couldn't take the shot, fearing that Stone will have time to retribute against me.

"Of course, I will...your majesty !" Stone joked around until Stone put his hands in front of my eyes and then, I could hear some struggle coming from Park and then, Stone removed his hands, allowing me to see Park also hold at gunpoint by someone else as Price was the only one with an gun in hand. He didn't want to prevent Park from this. "Drop the gun, Price, you're alone !"

"In your dreams, Harry." Price refused, mixed between looking at me & Stone and Park. "You know it's the end for you."

"Maybe....maybe not." Stone told him, getting his pistol cannon right aimed at my front right shoulder. "By god, I just realized....Park & Grigoriev working together....what the odds !"

"What are you talking about, Stone ?" Park demanded, trying to free herself from the man that was holding her.

"Oh....she didn't tell you ?" He started, moving his gun slowly on my shoulder. "Oh yeah, that's right, the CIA fucked up her brain and hearing Freya say that she can come back home....she wasn't able to tell you." He added, his head looking to Park.

"What...." I breathed, trying to understand what Stone was saying.

"You didn't remember London, Grigoriev ?" He asked me as I was confused as hell about it. "You didn't remember....what happened that day in 1973 ?" He continued as Park's eyes with me & Price goes wide, slowly realizing his words.

"Are you meaning....? What are you saying, Stone ?" Price questioned.

"I mean that....Grigoriev was there that day....yes....Grigoriev was there the day I killed your brother, Park." He started to laugh as for me, I was feeling so....weak and alone now....I was realizing that....this burn mark on my left hand, I got it in 1973....in London, during the death of Park's brother....no..."Oh, I could remember that she did tipped off William about me and honestly, seeing her running to save your brother....it was an perfect occasion to kill her too." He added, saying that I was the one who was trying to give Park's brother intels about Stone's true allegiances, like Price told me the day I met him. "Unfortunately, she lived."

"No...." I whispered in an very low voice that only myself could hear. By that horrible revelation, I couldn't look at Park in the eyes, fearing that she was hating me now....but no.....I don't want to think of it.

"You know what it would be marked on your grave, Grigoriev ?" He demanded to me as Park & Price were looking at us, stunned and me....shocked and ready to cry out loudly. "It will be saying : Was always there at the wrong time, at the wrong place !" He stated....In me, I just wanted to get free...to get away without any pain by realizing that me & Park were linked by an the death of her brother....until I got an idea.

"No.." I said this time loudly, starting to move my hands. "How about Yippee-Ki-Yay, motherfucker!" I then moved my hands fully to get them on his pistol but I wasn't going to try to move it away from me. I got my fingers on the trigger and then....I shot two times through my shoulder, knowing that his chest was just behind it and that the second bullet was going to hit him.

And it did, the second bullet make him move away from me as I was falling on my knees, feeling weak again, seeing with narrowed eyes, Park managing to get free from the man that was holding her until Price emptied his mag on this man. Feeling the blood in mouth and shooting myself two times in the shoulder, it wasn't going to make me feel better and then, I fell on my back, looking at the dark skies of Cuba as I could see Park & Price quickly walking towards me but I wasn't willing to smile anymore even at Park's sight until I grinned an little and I closed my eyes, trying to think about her positively, hearing her voice.....

"Don't worry, Yiri....it's going to be okay....you will be safe with me !"

[artificialqueens]

Gimme Love, 3/9 (Miz Cracker/Blair St Clair) - Grinder

AN: Hey, guys! I hope yall are enjoying this fic so far! Throw me a like please if you do. TW for this chapter: Grief // Homophobia

2003 High School. The bane of my existence. Just as I thought elementary and middle school were terrible, High School really was something else. From my childhood therapy sessions, I learned to conceal my anger, avoid freakouts, and channel my emotions into other things. It was good for me, yeah. But it also made me a more reserved person. Things still made me angry, the other kids at school being a primary key to that. But I never defended myself. Ever. Of course, Jujubee always had my back. Only in later years did I learn to appreciate the times she'd yell at the other kids, telling them to fuck off and whatnot. But back then, I wished she hadn't. It only drew more negative attention. All I wanted was to get through those tough years. I would come home a lot, look at pictures of myself as a child. And I'd be so mad because only then did I see that I wasn't an ugly kid. I was adorable. But, God clearly had favourites 'cause puberty did not do me any favours. If only I had grown up in a more modern time when no one gave a shit about looks. When people were outspoken about the cruelty that came with shaming someone for their looks. When people were more aware of the psychological damage that could do. Again, God had favourites. From years of my eyesight getting worse and needing a new pair of glasses every time I went to the eye doctor, I had thick-rimmed frames that made me look straight out of the 70s. And the lenses made my eyes look huge. I looked like Bubbles from Trailer Park Boys. My hair was bigger but full of split ends due to lack of giving a shit about it. I begged Mom to let me bleach it blonde. She always straight up refused. I had braces for a whole year which, yeah, many people had braces, but one time while answering a question in class, I drooled. And no one let me hear the end of it. And makeup wasn't something I really fucked with. I tried it once, safe and sound in my own bedroom, and it looked woeful. Instead of working to get better, I accepted defeat in that I would always be ugly. "I'm serious, girl. The foundation was so bad. And it was too dark." I ranted to Jujubee as we headed to the bus stop. I was trying to smoke my cigarette as fast as I could before getting there. Mom never knew, and what she didn't know couldn't kill her. Of course, I didn't just go into the store and buy them myself. Instead, I took one a day from my Grandpa's supply. "Girl, you gotta test it first." She pointed out, adjusting her bag straps. "Juju, I got the lightest colour they had. I don't fucking get it. Every other girl in the school uses it. Maybelline shouldn't sell this shit." "You just need to find a different brand." She grabbed my shoulder and pulled me closer, "OK, don't tell my Mom, but I tried some of her MAC shit the other day, and my skin looked fucking flawless." She let me go, took my cigarette from me, taking a toke herself. "Well, how am I supposed to get my hands on that?" I took the cig back. "I don't see any MAC stores around here." "Oh, yeah? Well, you know what your Other World self would do?" Jujubee's brow raised, a sweet grin appearing on her mischievous face. "She would say fuck school, hop on the next bus to Cleveland and go straight to the MAC store." Blowing out some smoke, I looked at her, "Well, Other World you wouldn't be encouraging that sort of behaviour." "No, she wouldn't 'cause she'd be the first on the bus." Jujubee countered. "And she'd start the sing-song." "Yeah, well other world me would out-sing you 'cause she's a star. She's a fucking diva, bitch. Mariah Carey has nothing on her." We were too caught up in our fantasy world; we almost missed the vehicle driving past us. Only when we saw the cackling faces of the boys at the back of the bus did realisation take over. We were going to miss the bus. "Fuck." I uttered, watching the guys still flipping us off as they moved further and further away. To make matters worse, a car pulled up beside us. And of fucking course, it was Trevor Preston, the Captain of the football team. His two sidekicks were in the

back seat, Logan and Noah. "Aw, look, guys. The geeks just missed the bus." Trevor fake whined. In these situations, I just shut down. I thought it was for the best at the time, but fuck, if I could go back and punch that guy. "You know what? Why don't you mind your own fucking business, Trevor?" Jujubee squinted her eyes at him. “Wow, little fiesty, Juju.” He continued, "How about this? We all say sorry, and we can both ride with us to school." 'Hell fucking no.' I thought. "Oh yeah? And what's the catch?" Jujubee raised a brow. "You let me feel your tits," Trevor smirked, his two cronies snickered. "Ah, there it is. I thought that was what your pea-sized brain would come up with." Jujubee nodded her head. "So, hey, Brianna," Trevor shifted his attention, "You're awfully quiet. Don't I at least get a hello?" I was still frozen, feeling my anxiety brewing within. "Dude, don't be so sensitive. You know, if she opens her mouth, she'll just drool all over herself." Logan added, the three axe wounds beginning to snicker again. I felt like I should have at least opened my mouth to prove them wrong, or maybe spit on Trevor's car. But still, I just stood there. "Trevor, if you don't fuck off right now, I'm gonna key your car." Jujubee threatened. "Juju." I tried to stop her. "Wouldn't even have the chance, sweetheart. Either of you bitches come near my car; you'll never walk the halls again." How gentleman-like, threatening two girls. Funny how our safety was the price to pay for a car. Oh, men. "Keep that in mind," Trevor concluded before driving away with dumb and dumber. "You didn't have to do that." I looked at Jujubee. "I'm sorry they're such assholes." She replied, taking my hand in hers. I shook it off, however. "No, I mean, I wish you wouldn't do that." Jujubee crossed her brows, "what? So I'm supposed to sit there and just take it? No fucking way." "I know. But," I paused, "they kinda scare me. You know?" "Brie, there's nothing more pathetic than a man sweating over the safety of his ride." She retook my hand, "Don't be afraid of a cunt like him." "I mean, I can try not to. But I can't make any promises." I shrugged. "Anyway, what's the plan? How are we supposed to get there on time?" Jujubee was silent for a moment before replying with, "my Mom?" Her Mom did end up giving us a ride, much to my dismay. I would have preferred to take the day off. Or better yet, to just fucking drop out altogether. But Jujubee was always there to reassure me - I adored that bitch. I would have fucking taken a bullet for her. I would like to say that it wasn't just Jujubee and me, that we had a group of more friends. But these guys, I never really counted them as friends. A year prior, we both decided to try and improve our social lives by joining a club. The only one that would accept us was the chess club. Every other member was a guy, and they were nerds. Not that Jujubee and I minded. However, the problem was that they only let us in because...well, do I even need to explain? "So, Brianna," Jimmy decided to approach me at the end of one session, licking his hand and sweeping his hair from his face. "Because I beat you twice today, what do I get?" "...Excuse me?" "My prize. What do I get??" He put an arm around my shoulders. I was puzzled, "Uh, you can have my chicken nuggets at lunch." His grin was beginning to disappear. "Oh, I was thinking of something else. A kiss, maybe?" I felt bad for doing it, but my fight or flight response told me to just run from the room. I didn't want to hurt his feelings, but these guys were just on another level of thirst. And it wasn't just me who they flirted with. Jujubee had informed me of a time Arnold convinced her to make out with him. She was all for it until she realised how awful of a kisser he was. And as the boys became more desperate, we decided that we were better off alone. Again, I was so grateful for Jujubee. I was surprised she stuck around, considering she had seen me at my worst when we were still so young. How the fuck had she not developed

issues of her own? Jujubee was the number one reason I even found the strength to just get up in the morning, drag my ass to school, and do my work - Well, aside from wanting to get good grades so I could go to a good college. The second reason? Blair. Unlike me, she was thriving. Our lives were totally cliche - me being the kid who grew up to be the nerd who only speaks when it's to answer a question. And Blair, growing up to be the head cheerleader. And I was still very much in love with her. What a fucking cliche. I avoided Blair at all costs for several reasons;

differing social circles (in my case, lack of),

her boyfriend, who was the Captain of the soccer team and wasn't shy about giving me and Jujubee grief,

her friends,

and, of course, my massive crush on her.

So, why was Blair the second reason as to why I dragged myself to school? Her smile. That was enough. As much as I tried to avoid her, the world decided to do a big "fuck you" on me and sometimes put us into situations together. And every time, I'd be internally freaking out. The worst was when we were both 16. It was that time of the year when the school would invite someone to subject us to the most humiliating moment of our lives. How the fuck were you supposed to put a condom on a banana without bursting out laughing? How the fuck were you supposed to sit there and keep a straight face when the educator used words like 'flaps'? We filed into the class, Jujubee and me taking seats at the back of the room. We knew this was going to be hilarious, so best to avoid the attention of the teacher. "Juju, I know you are dying to make jokes during this, but I'm begging you. Please don't." I spoke quietly to her as other students filed in. "But you know I'm going to, right?" Jujubee smirked, putting her bag on the ground. "No. We wanna keep a low profile. If we laugh, we draw attention, and then we risk being singled out. You know? We'll be at the front of the class demonstrating whatever this bitch asks us." Obviously, I was referring to putting condoms on bananas and the like. Juju, however, raised a brow, "I wouldn't mind that, babe. Don't worry. We won't need to take our clothes off." I stared at her for a few seconds, unable to think of how to respond to that. Jujubee winked, and I forced myself to look away. "That's not what I meant." Blair strolled in with Denali and Rosé, already I could feel my stomach knotting. They went to sit together somewhere in the middle. "Ugh, nope. I don't think so, ladies." Ah, Miss Jaida Hall, if only I could have warned you not to say what you were about to say. Somehow Blair and the two others knew she was speaking to them. She continued, "This is an important class, and I'm not gonna have you all laughing and snickering during it." She had a point. The three girls usually whispered to each other in class, giggling about all sorts of shit. It was never anything malicious about the lesson or teachers, just inside jokes with each other, pretty harmless stuff. But it pissed the teachers off so much. "You can't be serious, right?" Denali replied, clearly scandalised. "Very serious, actually." Ms Hall nodded, "Denali, sit with Brian. Rosé, with Gigi. Blair, with Brianna." I grabbed Jujubee by the wrist, the pressure making her squeak. This wasn't happening. This wasn't happening. Blair was not rolling her eyes as she made her way to the back towards me. This was not fucking happening. As instructed, Jujubee stood up and let Blair sit down, moving to sit somewhere else. I was alone with the one person I tried my hardest to avoid. She slouched down in her chair, arms folded like she was already over it. I wanted so badly to ask if she was OK. But I couldn't bring myself to. And as the lights turned off and the sex-ed lady pressed play on the video player, I wished I had said something. As the way too enthusiastic narrator explained step by step the act of sexual intercourse, I tried hiding the blush on my face with my hair. I tried so hard to focus on what I was being taught. The truth was, I was still a virgin, as were many of the others in the room, I'm sure. But unlike them, I had no idea how sex worked. It wasn't something I ever gave time to think about. I felt a tapping on my hand. My body tensed as I glanced to the side. Blair was looking at the screen, then at me, then her fingers brushed against my hand. I stared back, unsure of what was happening but also knowing full well what she was doing. She leaned closer and pressed her lips on mine. … OK, that's not what happened. Life wasn't a movie. This was the beginning of the fantasies. Was I ashamed because I was thinking about Blair like that? Or was I ashamed that I enjoyed thinking of Blair like that? "This is ridiculous," Blair whispered. Was I supposed to say something back? "What do you mean?" I

whispered back. "Do they actually think we're that dumb? We all know how sex works. We don't need this stupid class." Blair rolled her eyes. I almost told her that I belonged to the small percentage that didn't know. But I stopped myself. I couldn't bear her knowing that information. Instead, I went with the awkward, "haha. Yeaaahhhh…" For the rest of the film, we sat in silence. Still trying to focus on the screen. Not the absolute stunner sitting next to me. And as if by magic, the video ended. I wanted to say I was relieved, but I couldn't lie; what I learned from the film left me nauseous. He puts his hoo-ha in her what, now?? "Well, that was really cool and hip, right?" The educator enthused. I cringed internally. No woman wearing a crucifix necklace and ankle-length skirt has the right to use words like 'cool' and 'hip'. "I know it's probably all so confusing. So that's why I'm here to answer any of your questions, dudes and dudettes." Already, one of the boys put a hand up. "Go ahead, homie." "What about the other hole?" He said with a straight face before his friends started laughing. He laughed back as he fired one of them. "You know. The back door?" Ms Hall shot him the 'look'. He was toast. The sex educator fixed her hair quite uncomfortable, "Well, there's a reason that is an out hole, young man. I warn all of you, do not go down that road. You will get aids and die. Now, does anybody else have a question?" The educator rambled, fixing her hair awkwardly. I heard the rustling of clothes beside me, and glancing around, Blair had her hand straight up in the air. "Yes, sweetheart?" Sex Ed lady pointed to her. "OK, so this is interesting and all, but I was just wondering, what about non-heterosexual sex?" Her brows knit for a moment. I looked around at her now. The breath caught in my throat. "I'm sorry?" Sex Ed lady asked. "You know. Man on man. Girl on girl. What about all of that?" Blair raised a brow. "I mean, you gotta know there's more than just heterosexual people out there. Maybe some even in this room right now." "Blair." Ms Hall began. "Because, if you disagree, then that's ridiculous. Oh, and if you think aids is some kind of death sentence, then you seriously need to educate yourself." Sex ed lady looked appalled, her Christian beliefs quite clearly threatened. "That's it. Get out." Ms Hall stood up. Blair huffed, pushing her seat back, lifted her bag and left the room, Ms Hall following behind. "OK. So, any other questions? Reasonable questions only, please." Jujubee was looking over her shoulder at me now, sharing the same expression I did. Thank God for lunch next period. Jujubee and I were hiding at the back of the school, in an alley between the building itself and the old workshops. The perfect hiding place for a smoke and to freak the fuck out about specific events. "Juju, she knows. She knows I'm a lesbian. She knows I like her." I paced. "I'm moving. That's it." I stopped. "But why would she speak up for me of all people? It doesn't make sense." My eyes widened. "Unless she's also a lesbian. I mean, that makes sense, right?" Jujubee had been sitting on the wall, patiently listening to my manic ramblings. The first few minutes, she was just as astounded. But the more I theorised, rambling on and on, she was over it. "I highly doubt that considering the boyfriend." "Then she must know. Why else would she say it? I highly doubt there are other gays in that class. Speaking of which, I had no idea lesbians could have sex like; how does that work. I'm gonna look into that somehow. But getting back to the point, if she did know, why would she speak out for me of all people?" My ramblings were non-stop. I tried my best to avoid Blair for the rest of the day, not that I could, considering we were both in the same last period. Blair's outburst was the talk of the school. I wasn't sure if it was a positive response or not. The only thing I did know was Trevor was pissed. "Brie, look." Jujubee tapped me. I turned from my locker and looked where everyone else seemed to be

looking. Just down the corridor, Trevor was standing over Blair, their conversation clearly heated. People were shamelessly moving closer, Jujubee following in their path. "Juju, don't," I whispered. But she didn't listen. I went after her as if it would stop her. "Trevor, this isn't that big of a deal," Blair said. "Not a big deal? Blair, do you know what the guys are saying? They think you're gonna dump me for a girl. Do you know how humiliating that is?" Trevor held a hand to his chest "And what if I did?" Blair challenged. The few people standing around cooed with excitement. "Oh, please. Don't get all cocky now that you have an audience." Trevor pointed. But Blair took a step closer to him. "What, 'cause you know you're the one who looks like an idiot? Maybe if you weren't so insecure, you'd know I would never do that to you." "Don't call me an idiot." Trevor lowered his tone, choosing purposely to ignore her reassurance. "Fine. But don't criticise me for a valid question I asked in a class you weren't even a part of. It's none of your business, no one's business for that matter." Blair bit back. "I can do what I want, Blair." "OK. Whatever." Blair brushed past him. Trevor quickly spun around, grabbing her arm. "No, we're not done having this conversation." My stomach twisted. "Let go of my arm, Trevor." Blair tugged, her voice cracking. Trevor did as was told now that the air was thick with tension, "We are not done talking," he stressed. Blair took a step back, "Yeah, we are, actually," and she turned to walk away. "If you walk away right now, we're finished." Trevor threatened. It was as if time was at a standstill, waiting for her reaction. But at the same time, it felt as though time was counting down. Like we were in a competition show. The contestant has to decide before time runs out, while the audience yells, 'DO IT! DO IT! DO IT!' No one was shouting, but you could feel everyone's excitement. Blair's lip curled upwards. "OK. Fine by me." And, finally, she walked off. The people were cooing with excitement again. "Shut up!" Trevor shouted. I grabbed Jujubee by the shoulder and ushered her back. Trevor kicked his locker, the thud echoing through the halls. That was the last straw. Knowing Trevor, he'd take his anger out on us. It was time to flee the scene. It was all Jujubee wanted to talk about for the rest of the day. Now I knew how she felt during my smoke break. But I couldn't blame her. The scene played in my head over and over again, leading to so many questions. Was there more to this breakup? Did he grab Blair like that all the time? What would happen now? Would she find a new guy? A girl, maybe? I came to the conclusion that Blair and Trevor's breakup was neither good nor bad. Bad because, as I said before, now he had more pent up anger from the humiliation of being so publicly dumped. Therefore, Jujubee and I would most likely be subject to more harassment. Good, because maybe Blair did like girls. Maybe there was still some little chance for us to be together. But if we were going to be together, there was one issue; I still had no fucking idea how lesbian sex worked. Cut to later that night, I'm in my room, sitting in front of my computer. I needed to distract myself from my thoughts of the breakup. While the scratchy dial-up tones emitted the machine, I psyched myself up. Even though I knew sex was normal to learn about at that age, it was still daunting. With shaky hands, I searched 'lesbian sex'. And fuck was it a mistake. What I wanted was educational articles, guides, etc. And what I got was porn. I watched all but a few minutes, all the painfully bad acting scenes that took place before the main event. Upon hearing the first moan, I clicked out as fast as I could. Looking behind me, Piggie was just playing with a stuffed animal on my bed. "You saw that, right?" He looked at me with perked ears. I still felt judged, so I opened my bedroom door and let him out. I needed to be exact. 'How do lesbians have sex?' And Brianna Caldwell was never the

same. My mind was opened that night. This was no mistake. This was a surprise. I couldn't look away from the computer screen, no matter how slow the Internet connection was. All of this information was all too much but not enough at the same time. And it made me feel less nauseated than I felt after watching that stupid video in class. And I built up the courage to go back to that porn site. And I watched every damn second. Then I watched another one. And another. And just one more 'cause why the fuck not? My bedroom door opened. "Brianna, I'm ordering - -" "Get out," I shouted, closing the site down like my life depended on it. But she stood there for a few seconds, eyes wide and hand still on the door frame. "Honey, are you - -" "Mom, oh my god. Can you just - -" I couldn't even form a proper sentence. She gave an apologetic look and closed the door. But she remained on the other side. "I just wanted you to know that I'm ordering pizza for Grandpa and me. Do you want some?" My forehead was in my hand now. "Yes." "What kind?" "Just…" I wanted to shout, "Pepperoni." And with that, she left. But that wasn't the end of it. When the food arrived, I waited a few minutes before going downstairs to grab a few slices. Grandpa was in the living room watching an old rerun of The A-Team. But she was there, in the kitchen, as if she was waiting for me. "Honey, look. I know you're getting to that age where you're curious about certain things and - -" "Mom, no. Please, don't do this." I whined. "I know. I know. I just wanted to let you know that this is natural, and…" she continued to deliver the same talk we all got in class. My eyes were wide, face red with humiliation. -_-_-_- 2020 I picked up a slice of pepperoni pizza, instantly reminded of the traumatic event. OK, maybe that was too strong of a word to use. But of course, you are going to dread the thought of that time your parent talked to you about sex. I walked into the living room, pizza slice in hand, trying not to dwell on the memory. "So, Brianna. Any update on the love life?" Tamisha asked. I loved that bitch; being one of Mom's closest friends, she was present for most of my life. But she always had a tendency to ask questions I wasn't up for answering. I took a bite from my pizza and answered with a full mouth, "dry." "Girl, you're almost 40." She continued. I was ready to challenge her because I was actually just 33 when Mom took her turn to speak. "Yeah, get yourself a man and make me a Grandma already." She wasn't serious. She knew I hated these types of talks, but that didn't stop her from encouraging the others. The funny thing about the time she caught me watching porn, she never clocked it was girl on girl. Of all the years I've been on this planet, I hadn't given her a clue that I was a lesbian. Would I ever tell her? I didn't see the point. From previous failed relationships and being too busy with my job, I wouldn't end up with someone anyway. But of course, I'd make an exception for a certain someone. Monét poured the first round of shots. I already knew I'd hate myself the next day. I wasn't drunk already. Just sort of buzzed. But that changed within an hour. I was hammered. Mom, Monét and all her friends were singing all the old songs in the living room. I was out in the kitchen, trying to drink 8 glasses of water. I only managed 3. Piggie ran in and put his paws up on my knee. "There he is. My baby. My fucking son." I slid down to the ground and let him sit in my lap. "How is your night going?" Just great, Brianna! Anyway, how about that Blair girl, huh? Piggie's non-existent voice said. "Oh yeah," my eyes narrowed. I unlocked my phone and opened up Facebook. And I bravely searched up her name. I say bravely because it does take some balls to go and stalk your crushes social media accounts. All it took to fuck everything up was the slip of a finger, and before you know it, you've liked a post or sent a friend request. "Let's do some digging, Piggie." I cuddled him. Immediately, she was the top result, with Jujubee

being the only mutual friend. "Yeah, girl. Infiltration." I commented as I clicked into her profile. And then her profile picture. "Holy shit." She hadn't aged. She still looked as young and radiant as she did back in high school. "What do you think, Piggie?" I showed him the screen. He glanced at it before tucking his head under his arms. The enthusiasm. I rolled my eyes. I looked at her info. 'Single'. Promising. Scrolling down to her timeline, I noticed she didn't post a lot. Fair enough. Facebook was becoming a dead site in recent years. There were just your average Facebook posts, sharing giveaway posts, a post from an old lady saying, 'Blair, this is Granny. Could you go to Walmart and get me some applesauce? Love granny xx', a shared post from a guy called George Miller. And my finger stopped scrolling upon seeing Blair holding a baby. "Oh God, we've encountered our first obstacle, Piggie," I whined. I clicked into the comments. That George Miller guy commented, 'congrats, Blair!' She replied, 'thank you, but she's my cousin's lol'. "Thank you, Jesus." I put my phone down for a moment to put my hand up to the good lord. I scrolled some more, seeing many inspirational quotes, a link to Adore You by Harry Styles. And a picture of her. With that George Miller guy. With his arms around her. Pressing a kiss to her temple. I could feel my heart sink the more I studied it. Yeah, I knew Blair and I were never meant to be anyway. But it was still upsetting. Relax. They could be friends. Yeah, that's right. Friends hold each other and act all affectionate, right?? I cuddle with Jujubee sometimes. That doesn't mean anything. Right? I needed evidence, just anything, to make it not true. I scrolled some more. There was a video, she was sitting on her sofa, with a girl playing the guitar sitting on the other end. "I've been running races on empty, Pour it up 'cause my cup so empty. Gotta make time for the real me. I've been running, I've been running on empty." And my nerves were settled again. I had only heard Blair sing a few times. She and her friends would pretend they were famous singers in early elementary years, and she'd always be the best. Then another time was in high school, at the winter talent show. I specifically remember it being A moment like this by Kelly Clarkson. It was unreal. 'Jujubee 💋💅🏽 is typing…' I clicked into Snapchat before she even had a chance to type the whole message. "Do you remember Jujubee?" I asked Piggie. Again, he was silent. 'I hope you're having fun, babe ❤ lv u'. "Thanks," was all I could manage to type. A shadow cast over me. I looked up to see Monét join me on the ground. "Hey, girl." She greeted me. "Hi, Aunt Monét." I smiled. Piggie hopped off my lap and onto hers. "Aunt Monét? Honey, you haven't called me that since middle school." She smiled. I returned the smile, only mine probably looking goofy. "I'm just wasted." "I noticed. No more shots for you anyway." She noted, taking a drink from her own bottle. "Anyway, how's the project?" "We got fucking Ed Sheeran involved." I then cursed myself internally for bringing it up. "I heard. Your Mom was telling me. Ugh, girl, why him? Why not someone like…" she paused to think, "like Beyonce. Or Lady Gaga." "OK, man-hater." I quipped, reaching over to pet Piggie. "Not true. Not all men are bad." Monét pointed out. "Speaking of which, when are you getting yourself one?" I could have given her the usual 'I don't have time for men's talk. But the alcohol said no. "Monét, I like girls." And I felt no shame in saying it. A moment of silence fell between us before she asked, "for real?" "Yeah." I nodded. "Does anyone else know?" "Yeah. Juju. And Piggie probably." I replied, leaving one more name out for the sole purpose I didn't want to get into that. "And Mom?" "Nope." She nodded. "I guess this is one of these aunty-niece confidentiality things?" "Uh-huh." I smiled. Bless Aunt Monét. "Well, no matter who you live, we still love you." She laughed for a moment before taking another drink. I knew

she was right. Maybe coming out to Mom wasn't such a bad idea. "You know what, Brianna?" She paused, "Grandpa would be so proud of you, right?" My smile slowly began to drop. Fuck, the touchy subject. "Oh, I...thanks." I thought the change in my mood was hard to miss, but Monét clearly had. "You and I ain't ever talked about him since...you know." "OK," I said quietly, feeling like my chest was a fist, beginning to clench tighter and tighter. "And sometimes, it's just good to look back on - -" "I gotta go." I quickly stood up, feeling the dark fog already come over me. I rushed from the room, my aunty calling my name and apologising. I avoided going into the living room, rushing up the stairs and racing for the bathroom. As soon as the door was locked, I let myself crumble, my face hidden beneath shaking hands, a cry clogged in my throat just begging to belt out. Mom would definitely hear it. I wasn't going to ruin her day. Absolutely not. Tags: rpdr fanfiction // s10 // as5 // miz cracker // jujubee // blair st clair // blair x cracker // denali foxx // rose // fluff // coming of age // hurt/comfort // lesbian au // highschool au // grinder // tw grief // tw homophobia [Cover image here] AN: Hey, guys! I hope yall are enjoying this fic so far! Throw me a like please if you do. TW for this chapter: Grief // Homophobia [read more] 2003 High School. The bane of my existence. Just as I thought elementary and middle school were terrible, High School really was something else. From my childhood therapy sessions, I learned to conceal my anger, avoid freakouts, and channel my emotions into other things. It was good for me, yeah. But it also made me a more reserved person. Things still made me angry, the other kids at school being a primary key to that. But I never defended myself. Ever. Of course, Jujubee always had my back. Only in later years did I learn to appreciate the times she'd yell at the other kids, telling them to fuck off and whatnot. But back then, I wished she hadn't. It only drew more negative attention. All I wanted was to get through those tough years. I would come home a lot, look at pictures of myself as a child. And I'd be so mad because only then did I see that I wasn't an ugly kid. I was adorable. But, God clearly had favourites 'cause puberty did not do me any favours. If only I had grown up in a more modern time when no one gave a shit about looks. When people were outspoken about the cruelty that came with shaming someone for their looks. When people were more aware of the psychological damage that could do. Again, God had favourites. From years of my eyesight getting worse and needing a new pair of glasses every time I went to the eye doctor, I had thick-rimmed frames that made me look straight out of the 70s. And the lenses made my eyes look huge. I looked like Bubbles from Trailer Park Boys. My hair was bigger but full of split ends due to lack of giving a shit about it. I begged Mom to let me bleach it blonde. She always straight up refused. I had braces for a whole year which, yeah, many people had braces, but one time while answering a question in class, I drooled. And no one let me hear the end of it. And makeup wasn't something I really fucked with. I tried it once, safe and sound in my own bedroom, and it looked woeful. Instead of working to get better, I accepted defeat in that I would always be ugly. "I'm serious, girl. The foundation was so bad. And it was too dark." I ranted to Jujubee as we headed to the bus stop. I was trying to smoke my cigarette as fast as I could before getting there. Mom never knew, and what she didn't know couldn't kill her. Of course, I didn't just go into the store and buy them myself. Instead, I took one a day from my Grandpa's supply. "Girl, you gotta test it first." She pointed out, adjusting her bag straps. "Juju, I got the lightest colour they had. I don't fucking get it. Every other girl in the school uses it. Maybelline shouldn't sell this shit." "You just need to find a different brand." She grabbed my shoulder and pulled me

closer, "OK, don't tell my Mom, but I tried some of her MAC shit the other day, and my skin looked fucking flawless." She let me go, took my cigarette from me, taking a toke herself. "Well, how am I supposed to get my hands on that?" I took the cig back. "I don't see any MAC stores around here." "Oh, yeah? Well, you know what your Other World self would do?" Jujubee's brow raised, a sweet grin appearing on her mischievous face. "She would say fuck school, hop on the next bus to Cleveland and go straight to the MAC store." Blowing out some smoke, I looked at her, "Well, Other World you wouldn't be encouraging that sort of behaviour." "No, she wouldn't 'cause she'd be the first on the bus." Jujubee countered. "And she'd start the sing-song." "Yeah, well other world me would out-sing you 'cause she's a star. She's a fucking diva, bitch. Mariah Carey has nothing on her." We were too caught up in our fantasy world; we almost missed the vehicle driving past us. Only when we saw the cackling faces of the boys at the back of the bus did realisation take over. We were going to miss the bus. "Fuck." I uttered, watching the guys still flipping us off as they moved further and further away. To make matters worse, a car pulled up beside us. And of fucking course, it was Trevor Preston, the Captain of the football team. His two sidekicks were in the back seat, Logan and Noah. "Aw, look, guys. The geeks just missed the bus." Trevor fake whined. In these situations, I just shut down. I thought it was for the best at the time, but fuck, if I could go back and punch that guy. "You know what? Why don't you mind your own fucking business, Trevor?" Jujubee squinted her eyes at him. “Wow, little fiesty, Juju.” He continued, "How about this? We all say sorry, and we can both ride with us to school." 'Hell fucking no.' I thought. "Oh yeah? And what's the catch?" Jujubee raised a brow. "You let me feel your tits," Trevor smirked, his two cronies snickered. "Ah, there it is. I thought that was what your pea-sized brain would come up with." Jujubee nodded her head. "So, hey, Brianna," Trevor shifted his attention, "You're awfully quiet. Don't I at least get a hello?" I was still frozen, feeling my anxiety brewing within. "Dude, don't be so sensitive. You know, if she opens her mouth, she'll just drool all over herself." Logan added, the three axe wounds beginning to snicker again. I felt like I should have at least opened my mouth to prove them wrong, or maybe spit on Trevor's car. But still, I just stood there. "Trevor, if you don't fuck off right now, I'm gonna key your car." Jujubee threatened. "Juju." I tried to stop her. "Wouldn't even have the chance, sweetheart. Either of you bitches come near my car; you'll never walk the halls again." How gentleman-like, threatening two girls. Funny how our safety was the price to pay for a car. Oh, men. "Keep that in mind," Trevor concluded before driving away with dumb and dumber. "You didn't have to do that." I looked at Jujubee. "I'm sorry they're such assholes." She replied, taking my hand in hers. I shook it off, however. "No, I mean, I wish you wouldn't do that." Jujubee crossed her brows, "what? So I'm supposed to sit there and just take it? No fucking way." "I know. But," I paused, "they kinda scare me. You know?" "Brie, there's nothing more pathetic than a man sweating over the safety of his ride." She retook my hand, "Don't be afraid of a cunt like him." "I mean, I can try not to. But I can't make any promises." I shrugged. "Anyway, what's the plan? How are we supposed to get there on time?" Jujubee was silent for a moment before replying with, "my Mom?" Her Mom did end up giving us a ride, much to my dismay. I would have preferred to take the day off. Or better yet, to just fucking drop out altogether. But Jujubee was always there to reassure me - I adored that bitch. I would have fucking taken a bullet for her. I would like to say that it wasn't just Jujubee and me, that we had a group of more friends. But these guys, I never really counted them as

friends. A year prior, we both decided to try and improve our social lives by joining a club. The only one that would accept us was the chess club. Every other member was a guy, and they were nerds. Not that Jujubee and I minded. However, the problem was that they only let us in because...well, do I even need to explain? "So, Brianna," Jimmy decided to approach me at the end of one session, licking his hand and sweeping his hair from his face. "Because I beat you twice today, what do I get?" "...Excuse me?" "My prize. What do I get??" He put an arm around my shoulders. I was puzzled, "Uh, you can have my chicken nuggets at lunch." His grin was beginning to disappear. "Oh, I was thinking of something else. A kiss, maybe?" I felt bad for doing it, but my fight or flight response told me to just run from the room. I didn't want to hurt his feelings, but these guys were just on another level of thirst. And it wasn't just me who they flirted with. Jujubee had informed me of a time Arnold convinced her to make out with him. She was all for it until she realised how awful of a kisser he was. And as the boys became more desperate, we decided that we were better off alone. Again, I was so grateful for Jujubee. I was surprised she stuck around, considering she had seen me at my worst when we were still so young. How the fuck had she not developed issues of her own? Jujubee was the number one reason I even found the strength to just get up in the morning, drag my ass to school, and do my work - Well, aside from wanting to get good grades so I could go to a good college. The second reason? Blair. Unlike me, she was thriving. Our lives were totally cliche - me being the kid who grew up to be the nerd who only speaks when it's to answer a question. And Blair, growing up to be the head cheerleader. And I was still very much in love with her. What a fucking cliche. I avoided Blair at all costs for several reasons;

differing social circles (in my case, lack of),

her boyfriend, who was the Captain of the soccer team and wasn't shy about giving me and Jujubee grief,

her friends,

and, of course, my massive crush on her.

So, why was Blair the second reason as to why I dragged myself to school? Her smile. That was enough. As much as I tried to avoid her, the world decided to do a big "fuck you" on me and sometimes put us into situations together. And every time, I'd be internally freaking out. The worst was when we were both 16. It was that time of the year when the school would invite someone to subject us to the most humiliating moment of our lives. How the fuck were you supposed to put a condom on a banana without bursting out laughing? How the fuck were you supposed to sit there and keep a straight face when the educator used words like 'flaps'? We filed into the class, Jujubee and me taking seats at the back of the room. We knew this was going to be hilarious, so best to avoid the attention of the teacher. "Juju, I know you are dying to make jokes during this, but I'm begging you. Please don't." I spoke quietly to her as other students filed in. "But you know I'm going to, right?" Jujubee smirked, putting her bag on the ground. "No. We wanna keep a low profile. If we laugh, we draw attention, and then we risk being singled out. You know? We'll be at the front of the class demonstrating whatever this bitch asks us." Obviously, I was referring to putting condoms on bananas and the like. Juju, however, raised a brow, "I wouldn't mind that, babe. Don't worry. We won't need to take our clothes off." I stared at her for a few seconds, unable to think of how to respond to that. Jujubee winked, and I forced myself to look away. "That's not what I meant." Blair strolled in with Denali and Rosé, already I could feel my stomach knotting. They went to sit together somewhere in the middle. "Ugh, nope. I don't think so, ladies." Ah, Miss Jaida Hall, if only I could have warned you not to say what you were about to say. Somehow Blair and the two others knew she was speaking to them. She continued, "This is an important class, and I'm not gonna have you all laughing and snickering during it." She had a point. The three girls usually whispered to each other in class, giggling about all sorts of shit. It was never anything malicious about the lesson or teachers, just inside jokes with each other, pretty harmless stuff. But it pissed the teachers off so much. "You can't be serious, right?" Denali replied, clearly scandalised. "Very serious, actually." Ms Hall nodded, "Denali, sit with Brian. Rosé, with Gigi. Blair, with Brianna." I grabbed Jujubee by the wrist, the pressure making her squeak. This wasn't happening. This wasn't happening. Blair was not rolling her eyes as she made her way to the back towards me. This was not fucking happening. As instructed, Jujubee stood up and let Blair sit down, moving to sit somewhere else. I was alone with the one person I tried my hardest to avoid. She slouched down in her chair, arms folded like she was already over it. I wanted so badly to ask if she was OK. But I couldn't bring myself to. And as the lights turned off and the sex-ed lady pressed play on the video player, I wished I had said something. As the way too enthusiastic narrator explained step by step the act of sexual intercourse, I tried hiding the blush on my face with my hair. I tried so hard to focus on what I was being taught. The truth was, I was still a virgin, as were many of the others in the room, I'm sure. But unlike them, I had no idea how sex worked. It wasn't something I ever gave time to think about. I felt a tapping on my hand. My body tensed as I glanced to the side. Blair was looking at the screen, then at me, then her fingers brushed against my hand. I stared back, unsure of what was happening but also knowing full well what she was doing. She leaned closer and pressed her lips on mine. … OK, that's not what happened. Life wasn't a movie. This was the beginning of the fantasies. Was I ashamed because I was thinking about Blair like that? Or was I ashamed that I enjoyed thinking of Blair like that? "This is ridiculous," Blair whispered. Was I supposed to say something back? "What do you mean?" I

whispered back. "Do they actually think we're that dumb? We all know how sex works. We don't need this stupid class." Blair rolled her eyes. I almost told her that I belonged to the small percentage that didn't know. But I stopped myself. I couldn't bear her knowing that information. Instead, I went with the awkward, "haha. Yeaaahhhh…" For the rest of the film, we sat in silence. Still trying to focus on the screen. Not the absolute stunner sitting next to me. And as if by magic, the video ended. I wanted to say I was relieved, but I couldn't lie; what I learned from the film left me nauseous. He puts his hoo-ha in her what, now?? "Well, that was really cool and hip, right?" The educator enthused. I cringed internally. No woman wearing a crucifix necklace and ankle-length skirt has the right to use words like 'cool' and 'hip'. "I know it's probably all so confusing. So that's why I'm here to answer any of your questions, dudes and dudettes." Already, one of the boys put a hand up. "Go ahead, homie." "What about the other hole?" He said with a straight face before his friends started laughing. He laughed back as he fired one of them. "You know. The back door?" Ms Hall shot him the 'look'. He was toast. The sex educator fixed her hair quite uncomfortable, "Well, there's a reason that is an out hole, young man. I warn all of you, do not go down that road. You will get aids and die. Now, does anybody else have a question?" The educator rambled, fixing her hair awkwardly. I heard the rustling of clothes beside me, and glancing around, Blair had her hand straight up in the air. "Yes, sweetheart?" Sex Ed lady pointed to her. "OK, so this is interesting and all, but I was just wondering, what about non-heterosexual sex?" Her brows knit for a moment. I looked around at her now. The breath caught in my throat. "I'm sorry?" Sex Ed lady asked. "You know. Man on man. Girl on girl. What about all of that?" Blair raised a brow. "I mean, you gotta know there's more than just heterosexual people out there. Maybe some even in this room right now." "Blair." Ms Hall began. "Because, if you disagree, then that's ridiculous. Oh, and if you think aids is some kind of death sentence, then you seriously need to educate yourself." Sex ed lady looked appalled, her Christian beliefs quite clearly threatened. "That's it. Get out." Ms Hall stood up. Blair huffed, pushing her seat back, lifted her bag and left the room, Ms Hall following behind. "OK. So, any other questions? Reasonable questions only, please." Jujubee was looking over her shoulder at me now, sharing the same expression I did. Thank God for lunch next period. Jujubee and I were hiding at the back of the school, in an alley between the building itself and the old workshops. The perfect hiding place for a smoke and to freak the fuck out about specific events. "Juju, she knows. She knows I'm a lesbian. She knows I like her." I paced. "I'm moving. That's it." I stopped. "But why would she speak up for me of all people? It doesn't make sense." My eyes widened. "Unless she's also a lesbian. I mean, that makes sense, right?" Jujubee had been sitting on the wall, patiently listening to my manic ramblings. The first few minutes, she was just as astounded. But the more I theorised, rambling on and on, she was over it. "I highly doubt that considering the boyfriend." "Then she must know. Why else would she say it? I highly doubt there are other gays in that class. Speaking of which, I had no idea lesbians could have sex like; how does that work. I'm gonna look into that somehow. But getting back to the point, if she did know, why would she speak out for me of all people?" My ramblings were non-stop. I tried my best to avoid Blair for the rest of the day, not that I could, considering we were both in the same last period. Blair's outburst was the talk of the school. I wasn't sure if it was a positive response or not. The only thing I did know was Trevor was pissed. "Brie, look." Jujubee tapped me. I turned from my locker and looked where everyone else seemed to be

looking. Just down the corridor, Trevor was standing over Blair, their conversation clearly heated. People were shamelessly moving closer, Jujubee following in their path. "Juju, don't," I whispered. But she didn't listen. I went after her as if it would stop her. "Trevor, this isn't that big of a deal," Blair said. "Not a big deal? Blair, do you know what the guys are saying? They think you're gonna dump me for a girl. Do you know how humiliating that is?" Trevor held a hand to his chest "And what if I did?" Blair challenged. The few people standing around cooed with excitement. "Oh, please. Don't get all cocky now that you have an audience." Trevor pointed. But Blair took a step closer to him. "What, 'cause you know you're the one who looks like an idiot? Maybe if you weren't so insecure, you'd know I would never do that to you." "Don't call me an idiot." Trevor lowered his tone, choosing purposely to ignore her reassurance. "Fine. But don't criticise me for a valid question I asked in a class you weren't even a part of. It's none of your business, no one's business for that matter." Blair bit back. "I can do what I want, Blair." "OK. Whatever." Blair brushed past him. Trevor quickly spun around, grabbing her arm. "No, we're not done having this conversation." My stomach twisted. "Let go of my arm, Trevor." Blair tugged, her voice cracking. Trevor did as was told now that the air was thick with tension, "We are not done talking," he stressed. Blair took a step back, "Yeah, we are, actually," and she turned to walk away. "If you walk away right now, we're finished." Trevor threatened. It was as if time was at a standstill, waiting for her reaction. But at the same time, it felt as though time was counting down. Like we were in a competition show. The contestant has to decide before time runs out, while the audience yells, 'DO IT! DO IT! DO IT!' No one was shouting, but you could feel everyone's excitement. Blair's lip curled upwards. "OK. Fine by me." And, finally, she walked off. The people were cooing with excitement again. "Shut up!" Trevor shouted. I grabbed Jujubee by the shoulder and ushered her back. Trevor kicked his locker, the thud echoing through the halls. That was the last straw. Knowing Trevor, he'd take his anger out on us. It was time to flee the scene. It was all Jujubee wanted to talk about for the rest of the day. Now I knew how she felt during my smoke break. But I couldn't blame her. The scene played in my head over and over again, leading to so many questions. Was there more to this breakup? Did he grab Blair like that all the time? What would happen now? Would she find a new guy? A girl, maybe? I came to the conclusion that Blair and Trevor's breakup was neither good nor bad. Bad because, as I said before, now he had more pent up anger from the humiliation of being so publicly dumped. Therefore, Jujubee and I would most likely be subject to more harassment. Good, because maybe Blair did like girls. Maybe there was still some little chance for us to be together. But if we were going to be together, there was one issue; I still had no fucking idea how lesbian sex worked. Cut to later that night, I'm in my room, sitting in front of my computer. I needed to distract myself from my thoughts of the breakup. While the scratchy dial-up tones emitted the machine, I psyched myself up. Even though I knew sex was normal to learn about at that age, it was still daunting. With shaky hands, I searched 'lesbian sex'. And fuck was it a mistake. What I wanted was educational articles, guides, etc. And what I got was porn. I watched all but a few minutes, all the painfully bad acting scenes that took place before the main event. Upon hearing the first moan, I clicked out as fast as I could. Looking behind me, Piggie was just playing with a stuffed animal on my bed. "You saw that, right?" He looked at me with perked ears. I still felt judged, so I opened my bedroom door and let him out. I needed to be exact. 'How do lesbians have sex?' And Brianna Caldwell was never the

same. My mind was opened that night. This was no mistake. This was a surprise. I couldn't look away from the computer screen, no matter how slow the Internet connection was. All of this information was all too much but not enough at the same time. And it made me feel less nauseated than I felt after watching that stupid video in class. And I built up the courage to go back to that porn site. And I watched every damn second. Then I watched another one. And another. And just one more 'cause why the fuck not? My bedroom door opened. "Brianna, I'm ordering - -" "Get out," I shouted, closing the site down like my life depended on it. But she stood there for a few seconds, eyes wide and hand still on the door frame. "Honey, are you - -" "Mom, oh my god. Can you just - -" I couldn't even form a proper sentence. She gave an apologetic look and closed the door. But she remained on the other side. "I just wanted you to know that I'm ordering pizza for Grandpa and me. Do you want some?" My forehead was in my hand now. "Yes." "What kind?" "Just…" I wanted to shout, "Pepperoni." And with that, she left. But that wasn't the end of it. When the food arrived, I waited a few minutes before going downstairs to grab a few slices. Grandpa was in the living room watching an old rerun of The A-Team. But she was there, in the kitchen, as if she was waiting for me. "Honey, look. I know you're getting to that age where you're curious about certain things and - -" "Mom, no. Please, don't do this." I whined. "I know. I know. I just wanted to let you know that this is natural, and…" she continued to deliver the same talk we all got in class. My eyes were wide, face red with humiliation. -_-_-_- 2020 I picked up a slice of pepperoni pizza, instantly reminded of the traumatic event. OK, maybe that was too strong of a word to use. But of course, you are going to dread the thought of that time your parent talked to you about sex. I walked into the living room, pizza slice in hand, trying not to dwell on the memory. "So, Brianna. Any update on the love life?" Tamisha asked. I loved that bitch; being one of Mom's closest friends, she was present for most of my life. But she always had a tendency to ask questions I wasn't up for answering. I took a bite from my pizza and answered with a full mouth, "dry." "Girl, you're almost 40." She continued. I was ready to challenge her because I was actually just 33 when Mom took her turn to speak. "Yeah, get yourself a man and make me a Grandma already." She wasn't serious. She knew I hated these types of talks, but that didn't stop her from encouraging the others. The funny thing about the time she caught me watching porn, she never clocked it was girl on girl. Of all the years I've been on this planet, I hadn't given her a clue that I was a lesbian. Would I ever tell her? I didn't see the point. From previous failed relationships and being too busy with my job, I wouldn't end up with someone anyway. But of course, I'd make an exception for a certain someone. Monét poured the first round of shots. I already knew I'd hate myself the next day. I wasn't drunk already. Just sort of buzzed. But that changed within an hour. I was hammered. Mom, Monét and all her friends were singing all the old songs in the living room. I was out in the kitchen, trying to drink 8 glasses of water. I only managed 3. Piggie ran in and put his paws up on my knee. "There he is. My baby. My fucking son." I slid down to the ground and let him sit in my lap. "How is your night going?" Just great, Brianna! Anyway, how about that Blair girl, huh? Piggie's non-existent voice said. "Oh yeah," my eyes narrowed. I unlocked my phone and opened up Facebook. And I bravely searched up her name. I say bravely because it does take some balls to go and stalk your crushes social media accounts. All it took to fuck everything up was the slip of a finger, and before you know it, you've liked a post or sent a friend request. "Let's do some digging, Piggie." I cuddled him. Immediately, she was the top result, with Jujubee

being the only mutual friend. "Yeah, girl. Infiltration." I commented as I clicked into her profile. And then her profile picture. "Holy shit." She hadn't aged. She still looked as young and radiant as she did back in high school. "What do you think, Piggie?" I showed him the screen. He glanced at it before tucking his head under his arms. The enthusiasm. I rolled my eyes. I looked at her info. 'Single'. Promising. Scrolling down to her timeline, I noticed she didn't post a lot. Fair enough. Facebook was becoming a dead site in recent years. There were just your average Facebook posts, sharing giveaway posts, a post from an old lady saying, 'Blair, this is Granny. Could you go to Walmart and get me some applesauce? Love granny xx', a shared post from a guy called George Miller. And my finger stopped scrolling upon seeing Blair holding a baby. "Oh God, we've encountered our first obstacle, Piggie," I whined. I clicked into the comments. That George Miller guy commented, 'congrats, Blair!' She replied, 'thank you, but she's my cousin's lol'. "Thank you, Jesus." I put my phone down for a moment to put my hand up to the good lord. I scrolled some more, seeing many inspirational quotes, a link to Adore You by Harry Styles. And a picture of her. With that George Miller guy. With his arms around her. Pressing a kiss to her temple. I could feel my heart sink the more I studied it. Yeah, I knew Blair and I were never meant to be anyway. But it was still upsetting. Relax. They could be friends. Yeah, that's right. Friends hold each other and act all affectionate, right?? I cuddle with Jujubee sometimes. That doesn't mean anything. Right? I needed evidence, just anything, to make it not true. I scrolled some more. There was a video, she was sitting on her sofa, with a girl playing the guitar sitting on the other end. "I've been running races on empty, Pour it up 'cause my cup so empty. Gotta make time for the real me. I've been running, I've been running on empty." And my nerves were settled again. I had only heard Blair sing a few times. She and her friends would pretend they were famous singers in early elementary years, and she'd always be the best. Then another time was in high school, at the winter talent show. I specifically remember it being A moment like this by Kelly Clarkson. It was unreal. 'Jujubee 💋💅🏽 is typing…' I clicked into Snapchat before she even had a chance to type the whole message. "Do you remember Jujubee?" I asked Piggie. Again, he was silent. 'I hope you're having fun, babe ❤ lv u'. "Thanks," was all I could manage to type. A shadow cast over me. I looked up to see Monét join me on the ground. "Hey, girl." She greeted me. "Hi, Aunt Monét." I smiled. Piggie hopped off my lap and onto hers. "Aunt Monét? Honey, you haven't called me that since middle school." She smiled. I returned the smile, only mine probably looking goofy. "I'm just wasted." "I noticed. No more shots for you anyway." She noted, taking a drink from her own bottle. "Anyway, how's the project?" "We got fucking Ed Sheeran involved." I then cursed myself internally for bringing it up. "I heard. Your Mom was telling me. Ugh, girl, why him? Why not someone like…" she paused to think, "like Beyonce. Or Lady Gaga." "OK, man-hater." I quipped, reaching over to pet Piggie. "Not true. Not all men are bad." Monét pointed out. "Speaking of which, when are you getting yourself one?" I could have given her the usual 'I don't have time for men's talk. But the alcohol said no. "Monét, I like girls." And I felt no shame in saying it. A moment of silence fell between us before she asked, "for real?" "Yeah." I nodded. "Does anyone else know?" "Yeah. Juju. And Piggie probably." I replied, leaving one more name out for the sole purpose I didn't want to get into that. "And Mom?" "Nope." She nodded. "I guess this is one of these aunty-niece confidentiality things?" "Uh-huh." I smiled. Bless Aunt Monét. "Well, no matter who you live, we still love you." She laughed for a moment before taking another drink. I knew

she was right. Maybe coming out to Mom wasn't such a bad idea. "You know what, Brianna?" She paused, "Grandpa would be so proud of you, right?" My smile slowly began to drop. Fuck, the touchy subject. "Oh, I...thanks." I thought the change in my mood was hard to miss, but Monét clearly had. "You and I ain't ever talked about him since...you know." "OK," I said quietly, feeling like my chest was a fist, beginning to clench tighter and tighter. "And sometimes, it's just good to look back on - -" "I gotta go." I quickly stood up, feeling the dark fog already come over me. I rushed from the room, my aunty calling my name and apologising. I avoided going into the living room, rushing up the stairs and racing for the bathroom. As soon as the door was locked, I let myself crumble, my face hidden beneath shaking hands, a cry clogged in my throat just begging to belt out. Mom would definitely hear it. I wasn't going to ruin her day. Absolutely not.

[harleenfleck]

“Despite the danger (Part 2)”

Arthur Fleck/Joker x Reader

Summary: Joker is the love of your life; despite the reputation it carries. You know that, but you don’t care, after he rescued you from a horrible hole you were trapped in. Now, you both live your lives together, but you ignore all the risks that come with being the lover of the Clown Prince of Crime.

This is the continuation. Part one here (Idk how put links in tumblr AAAAAA)

Warning: Description of violence, smut (Oh yeah), unprotected sex, oral sex, and fluff cause why not.

Words: 3.2k

Notes: OMFG I’M SO SORRY I KNOW I KNOOOW It took me about a month to post the second part, you have no idea what happened to me in all these weeks! New job, a little move, trying to survive, creative block (I’m suffering with this one), I almost itchy a scorpion, I didn't have Internet for two weeks, for a moment I thought I was in contact with someone with COVID-19 and fortunately that someone was sick from something else (Pneumonia in case you had doubts), I started to be attracted to a guy who turned out to be a criminal (HAHA later I'll tell you how this shit was over) anyway, too many weird things happened to me.

Finally I can post the second part, and the truth is that it is the first time I write smut or something in English :'0 honestly I think it was sexy, but I still feel a little ashamed (that’s the correct word?) to post it, ahhh, it's weird the feeling. But wow, I think the thing was beautiful:3 I honestly hope I can beat the creative block and keep writing more stories like that, shit, anyway, Arthur it’s my beautiful muse.

Time for thanks! Thank you to the Microsoft translator for helping me translate things I don't know into English, thank you to Lana del Rey for helping me get out of the creative block with your songs, my two neurons for not giving up and doing synapses, and thank you for your patience <3

And fuuuuckinggg agaaaain the fucking same apology, I’m sorry if I make some grammatical, spelling or writing mistakes, english is not my native language blablablablablalaaablablablaba just enjoy the porn.

Hope you like it! <3

...

 He’s out of his mind.

He was yelling at his men to do the damn job, to search the whole damn city. His beauty doll is missing

You were missing, you weren’t by his side, and that was a tragedy.

He was going crazy, and how cannot be? His enemies don’t leave no clue, just the threatening note. He read it, trying to find something, some sign. But nothing.

“In every fucking corner! In every fucking street! In every fucking neighborhood! I don’t fucking care! You have to find her!”

He yelled at his men in clown masks, they were orders that were to be fulfilled. But everything was more complicated than it seemed.

“We've searched all over Gotham and there's no sign of her”

“Keep looking!” He screamed again.

The clowns have never seen their leader so tense and stressed. It wasn't for nothing. His darling was kidnapped by something he had done, and time ran. Anything could happen to you with every hour wasted in found you.

"Mr. Joker, we've searched everywhere, but there's no way to find her, do you really think it's worth it?"

“What? What do you mean by that? What are you implying about that?”

“I mean Mr. Joker, you found her in a disgraceful place... You could do that with any other slut, you can find another-”

Bang!

Before he could keep opening his mouth, that man was already dead.

"I don't have time for this stupid shit! You must don’t give a shit about my doll's past! You must do your fucking damn job!"

The rest of the clowns, seeing the violent scene, came out of the room. Joker ordered two of his men to undo the body.

Sitting on an elegant red couch, he took a hand to his face and breathe out heavily.

Where were you? Would you be ok? You’d be safe?

Every question stressed him. And he felt guilty leaving you alone, he shouldn’t have done that.

Knowing that sometimes his clowns could become useless, he got out of his seat and walked outside of the room. "If they don't find you, I'll do it myself”

He got into the car and went to Gotham.

“My y/n, where are you?”

…

Your hands behind you back were tied. Your feet too.

Could barely remember what happened to you. Hours before, you were reading a book in complete calmness, but someone broke in the house. You screamed and ran for the emergency gun, but the assailants caught you first and put a damp fabric in your face.

You slept soundly for a couple of hours, when you woke up with a blindfold. Immediately, you went into fear.

“Look! The bitch woke up”

Your eyes saw again, they took you the bandage off. Looked at some men you didn’t know who they were.

“Just look, the little whore of Joker” One of the kidnappers took you by the jaw “Are the rumors true? The Joker pulled you out of a brothel after you fuck him so good?”

A big spit came into the kidnapper's eye. You pointed very well at his face.

“Fuck you!” Was the only thing you yell to him “That's something you don't give a shit!”

The others men laugh a lot, making fun of your little defense. The affected person rubbed himself with a tissue and you realized spitting him was a big mistake.

Scared, you looked everywhere, you had to find a way out, you knew that if you stayed there, they could kill you, but there is no escape.

“What idiot would want a whore like his couple?” The kidnapper spoke as he approached you and lifted you from the ground "Although if it's true that you were a prostitute... We could take advantage of that…”

They looked at you with malevolence, you knew your Joker had done terrible things to them, and they revenge were going to drop it on you.

“No, no, no! Don't you dare! If you do, you'll be dead men!”

“Maybe, but the first one to die will be you”

They pulled out a knife right in front of you, played with this one, gently passing it down your chest and face.

They started ripping the fabric of your dress. You cried. They laughed.

Please Arthur come, come for me, please Arthur

“We are three, you're going to have to give each of us pleasure at the same time, you know what that means? Anyway, you're already experienced in that”

They took your dress in pieces, staying only in your underwear, they began grotesquely touch your body and make fun of you. You just implored that it wasn't painful and that your death wasn't so violent.

Although that was improbable.

You closed your eyes, accepting your unfortunate destiny.

A violent noise was heard, and one of the men fell to the ground.

"Leave her alone right now!"

Hearing that scream you felt in heaven, protected. You were safe. Joker was there, pointing the bastards who wanted to hurt you with his gun.

“Oh! Look who's here! Just when we were going to have our banquet, don't you want some?”

Another one fell to the ground. You tried to escape the only one left alive, but he catched you, putting the knife around your neck.

“Let her go of or you're going to regret it!” Joker screamed in a tone of voice you'd never heard before. He was heard so rude and furious, and at once determined.

“Let her go? You ruined what my men and I built for years; I'll take away what you cherish most in front you. And you can’t do anything to avoid it”

Joker's blood boiled with angry. How did he dare to hurt you?

"I won't warn you again, let her go right now, NOW!"

The guy, just for enjoying Joker's furious, put the knife down and cut your abdomen, you cried in pain. Joker went crazy, and when the knife stopped touching your skin, bullets were raining at your kidnapper.

You ran away, tripped and fell, but you could see Joker unloading the bullets on his enemy.

No enemy was left alive. You were free. But you were so scared too.

Joker looked at you, put away his gun and ran to you.

"Arthur!" You hugged him very tightly.

"y/n are you okay? He cut you, that motherfucker, I must to take you to the doc—"

"No! Please Arthur, take me home! Take me with you!"

"But y/n, you’re hurt—"

"It's nothing! I swear, just take me with you!"

Crying, you begged him to get you out of there. Joker took off his red coat and put it on you, covering you. He hugged you and both got out of there.

…

You two came home. He carried you in his arms and you hugged his chest. He left you in the bed while you still crying.

"I won't let you get hurt again, my doll" Arthur drew his fingers to your face, drying away your tears. He hurt him see you crying.

"Arthur, I thought I'd never see you again”

"No, y/n, I'm here, I'll always be here. No one will hurt you again"

You hugged him a lot, you didn't want to let him go. Despite the facade of the worst criminal of all and Gotham's worst lunatic, he saved and protected you.

Arthur left the room for a moment and came back with a medicine cabinet. He healed your wound while you were trying to relax, but that was almost impossible. Once you bandaged, Arthur lay down next to you, and you couldn't help hug him. He did the same thing, caressing your hair and smelling your scent, like the first time he and you met.

You and him slept soundly. You were so afraid you wouldn't sleep in that bed again. However, your night wasn't quiet, you dreamed of those three horrible men again, you dreamed that those men did what they wanted with you, and Arthur never appeared.

You woke up upset, in tears again.

But at the same time, you calmed down, because you were home. Arthur woke up with your crying, he immediately paid attention to you.

"What's going on? y/n, what happened?"

"A nightmare"

He took you carefully and kissed you on the forehead. You hugged him back, you clung to him, you never wanted to leave him in your life.

He really is the love of your life.

And you wanted to thank him for being.

"Arthur..."

"Yes?"

You took air, you never thought you’d be shy to ask Arthur that, even when you did this night after night.

“Could you love me, please?"

The eyes of Arthur lit up, and a big sense of desire ran through his body. But despite that, you were always above everything.

"y/n… But you’re hurt"

"Art… I’m fine, it was something superficial, it's nothing” And that was true, but on his face could you see he wasn’t so convinced “Please Arthur, I need your love”

He looked at you with concern, with silent, perhaps he feared to hurt you.

But at the same time, he looked at you with desire, in need and lust.

Arthur needed you very badly too, but he was afraid to revive your pain. However, you started kissing him, at first shyly, because you didn't know what his reaction would be.

But you knew him perfectly, you knew that with a simple touch of yours he could go crazy. He gently took you from the back of your head and quickly got on top of you. His hands started stroking your neck, your collarbone, your chest. His fingers started playing with the straps of your bra and at the same time left little kisses on your breasts.

Fear left your body, and desperately asked for Arthur.

Arthur took your bra off and threw it somewhere in the room. Hypnotized, he admired your body. You blushed, he always saw you as a deity, even though you two made love a thousand times before.

"You're the most fucking beautiful woman I've ever met"

He bit his lip when he saw you. You, on the other hand, put the shyness aside, your hands went to the buttons on his yellow vest, unbuttoning them. Arthur noticed your intentions and helped you with that. You did the same thing with his turquoise shirt, looking now his chest.

You exhaled. You kissed him deeply, his tongue entered your mouth, and you couldn't help pass your hands through his chest and abdomen.

Without warning, you started to kiss his neck and shoulders, he didn’t wait that, but with a smile, he let you continue. You kept kissing him, went down to his red pants. His lust trapped in that red pants was already evident.

With little kiss on the fabric of his pants, you unbuttoned and zipped down. You looked him before continue. Arthur looked at you in need, desire and a huge smile on his clown face.

You backed off his pants and his underwear, his length appeared on your face and something inside you burned. You took it with your hand and let a little kiss in the top.

With more desire, you pass your tongue, sucking it, you really enjoyed that moment, more when you put it in your mouth and heard his deep moan.

"Damn it, y/n!" Arthur almost cried out loud. He was wet in lust, he looked at you with his green eyes, saw as you gave him pleasure, as you loved making him feel good. He took your hair, started directing the movements.

You relaxed your throat, took some air and got on with your work. You used your tongue to drive him crazy, and hearing his moans caused you to get wet. “Fuck! y/n you… you’re amazing…”.

You viewed that he grabbed the sheets with his free hand, his head was back and his chest became large and small as he breathed deeply. You could think he was close to finishing. But he decided to change things.

He took your hair and forced you to apart himself, you looked at him a little confused, but his gaze said he was going to back to you everything you caused him. Taking your shoulders, he dropped you in bed. He quickly got between your legs, starting to play with the elastic of your lace panties.

He dropped your panties, stared hungry at what these were hiding. And he realized you were already wet.

"Art... Do-Don't be so rude, please" You pled him timidly. Arthur blinked, setting aside his desire, remembering what you had spent the last night. He looked at your reddened face, and felt slightly guilty. He didn't tell you, but he thought maybe he scared you.

"Of course not, my doll" slowly lowered his face until you reached your entrance "If you want to stop, I will, just say it y/n" kissed one of your thighs, and seeing you, started playing with his tongue inside you.

Now, it was your turn to yell.

“Oh fuck!” You remember why Arthur loved that game. He was very skillful. He kissed you, licked you, played really well down there. You took his green hair between your fingers, begging him to go deeper. You heard a little laugh.

“I want you Arthur…” You couldn't take it anymore, you started begging him, as tears of pleasure fell down your cheeks “Please Art, I want you, make me yours…”

He didn't listen to you, he just kept licking you, and you couldn't do it anymore. You cuming in his mouth, and he drank you all.

Bastard you thought You wouldn't let me do the same with you

As you recovered from the orgasm, he stands up, his makeup was already a mess, but that's what you loved, as you could see Arthur and Joker at the same time.

“Come here, boy” You extended your hand to him. He took it and placed himself on top of you "I really want you for me”

“You just want me?”

“Why the question?”

"You seem to need me" Arthur kiss your hand, as you felt the rub of its length in your entrance, he was torturing you.

“Arthur, please…”

“Please what?” He passing his tongue in your hand and finished with a kiss.

“I-I need you…”

“Yes darling?” He saw you again with those emeralds that drove you crazy. How much you love him, and how much he loves you "Did you know I always need you, y/n?" With that deeply voice, he began to play again, giving small blows with his tip, causing you to moan.

“Y-Yeah…” Your voice became trembling at the end of that word “Arthur, please…”

“Please what?” He repeated that question again while without warning, he passed his tongue through your breast, provoking you more and more.

“…Fuck me…” You didn't ask him, you pleaded him. He laughed a little, and kissed you on your lips, looking for your tongue with his. And as your tongues fluttered in your mouths, he entered in you.

You moaned in his mouth, that strange sense of pain and pleasure was so addictive to you. He moved inside you, going out and in. You could hear him moan, and that excited you more, hearing his voice full of pleasure.

With more desire, you hugged him, moaned and cried. You didn't want anyone else in your life. You only want Arthur, just him.

It was so much pleasure and delight that you even forgot the wound on your abdomen.

You raised your hips just to join him more. Arthur kissed your neck, while he too got lost in lust. The bed hit the wall hard, it could break at any time, and you wouldn't mind. You two couldn't separate, nothing could separate.

You didn't know how much time was going on, but every time Arthur made love to you, time seemed to stop alone for the two of you.

“Arthur…” You cried his name “I love you… I love you”.

“I love you, y/n” you heard his hoarse voice against your ear again. He raised his head, only to see you adore this intimate moment “I love you too”

You kissed him, so much passion overflowing. You felt close again.

Before you could tell him, your body couldn't keep it anymore and gave into the pleasure, you screamed so loud. Arthur began to penetrate you slowly and deep at the same time, prolonging your orgasm, making it more torturous and pleasurable.

Breathing deeply, you looked at Arthur, taking his cheek with your hand, you still felt weak, and loved too.

He came out of you, and he started masturbating in front of you. "Could you help me, doll?" Oh yes, you knew that meant.

You knelt in front of him, took his member and carried him into your mouth. He tried to suppress a groan but failed. A few seconds later he made you stop, and you'll look him in the eye from where you were.

"You want it, don't you, doll?" you didn't answer, you just moved your head up and bit your lip. Like the first time you saw him. You began to masturbate him and kiss his member.

He caressed your head, closed his eyes. If that wasn't heaven, he didn't know anything else it could be.

His body tightened, and his breathing became heavy “y/n, I’m gonna coming, come here”.

You stopped, opened your mouth, sticking out your tongue. With a little scream from him, you got his climax in your mouth. Every drop fell into your mouth, and some escaped through the corners of your lips. He tasted so good; you loved his taste.

Arthur took a deep breath, his eyes were still under in his eyelids, recovering. He lowered his head and opened his eyes, watching you. You gave him a naughty smile. He caressed your cheek, and stroked you with his thumb.

"Where have you been all my life?" For a moment he thought about it, but he really said it. And you blush at those words. The naughty smile was replaced by a shy smile.

"Lost, like you, my love"

Smiling at you, he went to kiss you one more, one more loving, more romantic. “Arthur Fleck, you really are the love of my life” You said to him in the middle of the kiss. You could feel it how he trembled at your words. He separated from you and looked you in the eye.

“You too, y/n, you’re the love of my life”.

He kissed your cheek and pulled aside some locks of hair that fell on your face. "Come here" Took your hand "Look at you, you're a mess, we're going to have to clean you up"

You knew that was just the beginning, it was going to be a long day.

But you didn't care because you loved him, you loved Arthur Fleck, and Joker too, despite the danger. You didn't really care about danger, Arthur would always protect you from adversity, and somehow, you also protected him.

End

[ma-gic-gay]

It took a few too many hours to take care of the Florence situation, but he was confident that she would be happier in her room at the long term care facility than she would be at a safehouse.

He was much less confident with what would happen next. On the one hand, he knew that Cyrus knew that Carly had taken his mother - as much as he loves her, she needs to start thinking her plans through before she ends up dead - and that she was the reason he was alive. On the other, Florence had remained unharmed and been returned within ten hours. That doesn't erase what had happened; kidnappings are always a terrible, traumatic thing and not in his worst moment had he hoped to kidnap someone or, worse, have someone get kidnapped, but it did make it a bit easier for him to sleep at night.

In short, she was pretty much the biggest target at the moment. An even bigger one than him, which seemed impossible maybe fifteen hours ago.

Yet another reason having her in Port Charles was something he'd been concerned to do. Even though she swore she'd stay at home, she'd promised the same thing before his meeting with Cyrus earlier and that was a promise she didn't end up keeping.

Maybe this time, though, since Josslyn was home with her, she'd stay home.

That would explain the fifty seven voicemails he has from her and at least one hundred texts. It was honestly less than he had been expecting, mainly because she had been incredibly worried he'd get killed, moreso than normal.

Probably because not even an hour before he left, Cyrus had tried to kill him. It definitely didn't have anything to do with last night.

Right?

He shakes his head to get that out of his head; it's been a long night and probably why he's thinking about it. Willing himself to think of anything else, his mind wanders as he drives, thinking of the possible kidnapping targets.

Maybe thinking about last night will be a better alternative.

Glancing at the clock, he realizes that it's almost time for a call from a hopefully still at home Carly.

"Like clockwork," he chuckles, answering the phone. "Everything okay on the home front?"

A laugh he instantly notices as Cyrus's leaves his phone speaker. Quickly checking the caller ID, it's Carly. "Well, Mr. Morgan, I'm not doing well right now, considering your organization took my mother. Though I suppose your question wasn't directed towards me."

No shit, he thinks, containing his anger and quickly switching to a business tone, "I already told you, I don't have your mother. What the hell are you doing with Carly?"

Chuckling evilly again, Cyrus says, "I'm just spending some time with Mrs. Corinthos, Mr. Morgan. Calm down."

He's dead. The second that Jason gets back in town and sees his stupid, ponytail clad body, he will die. And if he puts a hand on her-

Focusing on the call instead of the growing anger in his blood, he asks, "Where is she and what have you done with her?"

"She's being taken care of very well, don't worry. In fact, I think that she'd agree I'm being quite a polite host, especially given the fact she had my mother kidnapped."

Maybe he should torture him before he kills him, that sounds appealing. Very appealing.

"I actually just looked into it and your mother is at her care facility. So tell me where Carly is, now," the former assassin demands.

Killing him looks more and more appealing by the second and making it as painful as possible does too. He deserves it for doing anything to Carly. Where exactly will kill him the fastest and make it painful? Maybe being shot in several places at the same time would help.

Clearly enjoying this Cyrus continues, "Is she? Well, I received a call earlier that she had been checked out of there."

"They must've been wrong."

"Well, still, I think she's getting even more delightful as time goes on. In fact, I'm finding her to be quite beautiful. What do you think, Mr. Morgan? Should I seduce and make love to her?"

Anger is the only emotion he feels right now, combined with disgust at the thought of that. "I wouldn't recommend it."

"And why is that?"

To lie or tell the truth, that is the question. The answer is lie. "She's a terrible lover. Absolutely terrible. Believe me, I'd know. We were involved at a certain time and I'm not sure anyone should have to go through that."

"You two have been quite close in the year since her husband passed. Are you sure you don't just want her for yourself?"

This sleazebag is going to be in hell when Jason finds him, he swears on his life. "Yes, I'm sure. Now, where is she?"

Chuckling again, he says, "Mr. Morgan, I'm not stupid. You think that since you've returned my mother, I'll return your friend in exchange for her. But, you see, Mrs. Corinthos isn't just someone you can take as you please. I'm truly seeing her beauty in this light and I find her to be quite intriguing. Perhaps I'll go against your advice-"

"I wouldn't do that if I were you. Now, last time I'm asking, where is Carly?"

"Why don't I let her tell you yourself?" Cyrus offers before handing the phone over to who he can imagine is the blonde. A scream is emitted in the background, probably from a gag or something.

The second he lays his eyes on him, that man is dead.

"Jason?" A scared Carly asks. "Are you there?"

"Yeah, I'm right here Carly. Can you tell me where you are right now?"

"You remember that little room above Jake's, where we got our start? I miss that room sometimes. Especially now that the Floating Rib isn't even really a working building."

"So do I. It was plain and undecorated. Now, where are you?"

"I love you and my kids, you know that, right?"

"Yes, yes I do. You know I love you. Are you okay?"

"No one else will probably ever be in that room again. Kinda sad, don't you think? I kinda like that we'll be part of the last people to be there, but I think it's a damn shame that room won't get better use out of it." Carly continues, clearly not getting his point.

Wait. The room above Jake's. That's where she's being held! She's been giving hints. God, sometimes he thinks she's do dumb but others she's practically a genius.

"Has he laid a hand on you?"

"Yeah," she says and his blood boils. This bastard is going to die, just for thinking about doing this.

"I'm going to go down memory lane," Jason says, changing the topic but hoping she'll read his signal. "Drive around some spots I used to go. I'll be home to check on the kids in twenty minutes."

"Have fun with that journey, Mr. Morgan," Cyrus says, having taken the phone from a surprisingly silent Carly. "In the meantime, I'm going to tell you what to do to get her back. You will meet me at Pier 57 at noon tomorrow. Until then, I think that the two of us are going to be spending some quality time together."

"You so much as lay a hand on her-"

"I'm going to advise you to stop speaking if you ever want to see her alive again," Cyrus chuckles. "Goodbye, Mr. Morgan."

Just like that, the phone is hung up and the call ended. "Fuck!" Jason screams, driving faster.

He's got to get to her and fast. She doesn't have much time before Cyrus rapes her and he'll be damned if he lets her go through that. Not if he can stop it, and he knows he can.

After all, if there's one thing his men have told him that he remembers, it's that Cyrus suffers from erectile dysfunction. If he had to pick one dude who would never be able to get it up in their life, without a doubt, he'd pick that sleazebag in a heartbeat. Especially now, given the situation his best friend is in.

He can make it there in ten minutes if he breaks a few traffic rules.

Fuck traffic laws; he's got to go save her, he thinks as he speeds up, taking every turn too fast and going straight through at all the stop signs and red lights.

It's a minor miracle he doesn't get a ticket as he pulls into the parking lot of the Floating Rib, which has been abandoned ever since the explosion that sent Lulu into a coma and killed Dev and Dustin.

Deadly explosions don't exactly appeal to buyers.

Gun drawn and loaded, he finally realizes that there is no plan here. Call the cops? No, then Cyrus gets to walk away alive and this son of a bitch needs to die.

Kill him and then call the cops? Not a bad idea, especially with Carly as a witness. She's not a perjurer, no one would ever accuse her of that. Especially when she's newly traumatized from a kidnapping. Besides, it's self defense. But bullets can ricochet and she could be killed or comatose. Whatever happens, it could be really bad.

Fuck.

Going in without a plan is the best option and that scares him more than anything he's ever faced.

Bounding silently up the stairs, he kicks in the door and sees an almost nude, terrified Carly and the sight of an aroused Cyrus. Fuck. Guess those erectile dysfunction pills work for him.

A sparkle appears in his eyes when Cyrus realizes he's there. "Mr. Morgan, how kind of you to join us. Though, I don't believe you were expecting this."

Bastard. He deserves to be killed, the most painful death one can ever suffer. Acting as though he's a fucking host of a party, not a kidnapper who's about to rape his best friend. How many other women has he done this to?

The thought of it makes his blood boil. "I'm only gonna say this once, get away from her and you might live."

"Was that a threat?"

"It was a promise."

"Mr. Morgan, Mrs. Corinthos and I are having a moment here and you're being rather rude, intruding upon it."

Carly's been suspiciously quiet this whole time. She's planning an escape, he can feel it. No use trying to explain how he can feel it, but he can.

That's new.

Refocusing his attention to the ponytail clad piece of shit in front of her, he says, "You two aren't, because she's most certainly not into this. I know what she looks like when she is and let me tell you, that's not what she looks like right now."

"Ah yes, your past. Well, her face may have changed."

"From last night?"

With the mobster stunned enough to do a minor double take, Carly kicks him right in the balls. That's gotta hurt, especially considering that he's got his dick out and everything.

Jason snaps into action, undoing the handcuffs she's in and removing the duct tape, wincing when she screams in pain. That hurts his heart.

"I was right with my suspicions, wasn't I? Mr. Morgan, what are your feelings towards Mrs. Corinthos?"

"None of your fucking business," he answers, kicking Cyrus in the balls himself as he calls the cops. That felt good. Not as good as killing him would, but it does give a rush of dopamine. "I'm above the Floating Rib, in the little apartment with a kidnapped Carly Corinthos and her kidnapper and attempted rapist Cyrus Renault."

"An officer is being dispatched there and will arrive in five minutes, sir. What is your name?"

"Jason Morgan."

"Well, Mr. Morgan, can you stay at the scene with Mrs. Corinthos?"

"Trust me, I'm not leaving until this son of a bitch is behind bars on death row," he growls at the operator. For someone who's normally so good at controlling his emotions, right now it's all he can do to not pull the trigger and take him out himself. His walls have fallen as his best friend softly cries next to him, minorly breaking his heart.

"I wouldn't count on that, Mr. Morgan," Cyrus snickers, "after all, I could just kill you two."

"The dispatch is going to be there in under one minute now, sir."

"Cyrus, if you so much as grab that gun and point it at me, I can kill you out of self defense. So I guess if you've got a death wish you could grab your weapon," Jason counters him.

"PCPD! Put down all weapons!" Chase shouts. Of course he's the lead detective.

"Up here!" Jason shouts and he finds the staircase before walking into the room.

"Mr. Renault, you have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford one, one will be appointed for you. Do you understand these rights as I have read them to you?" Chase asks, cuffing him.

"Damn you, Morgan," Cyrus says before another cop escorts him out and into a cruiser. Thank god, he was afraid if he saw his stupid, smirking face one more time, it would be the last thing that Cyrus ever did.

"Mrs. Corinthos, can we bring you and Mr. Morgan down to the station and have you two recount what happened tonight with Cyrus?"

Words don't leave her mouth, a sob does. Jason pulls her gently out of the chair and into a tight embrace, for his benefit as much as hers. "She's in no shape to be giving you the details."

"Mr. Morgan, it's better if she tells us what happened sooner rather than later."

"I'll do it," she agrees, though she's still visibly shaking in his arms. "If Jason's there, I'll do it."

Pressing a kiss to the side of her head, he agrees, "I'll be there."

Attempting to inform then they can't, Chase says, "You can't actually be in the interrogation room together; it's a very rare occurrence and not one I'm sure I can get permission from the commissioner to have right now."

Glaring daggers in his direction, Jason informs him, "You heard Carly's terms. If you want her to tell you what happened, I'm going to be there."

Finally giving in, Chase agrees to let them go in his car before leaving to call Jordan.

"Do you think you can stand?"

"No."

"We're getting you to the hospital then," Jason declares. "Detective!"

"Yes, Mr. Morgan?"

"I'm taking her to the hospital to get checked out before the police station."

"Could we question you two at the hospital? It's really important we get your testimony before Cyrus's. He's smart enough to ask for a lawyer and we'll do our best to have one take their time, but it's possible if she goes to the hospital she could end up giving it second."

"Do you feel up to getting questioned at the hospital?" Jason asks the sobbing woman, feeling a combination of emotions he can't push away.

"I guess," she agrees uncertainly. "You'll still be there, right?"

"Of course. I'm not leaving your side unless you tell me to," he reminds her. "Ambulance or my car?"

"Oh god, not an ambulance. I don't need all that fanfare," she groans.

"Okay. Detective, will you meet us at the hospital?" Jason asks to his own chagrin. He can't believe this dude has the audacity to ask a woman recently traumatized by an attempted rape and kidnapping to tell him what happened in detail.

Chase nods and leaves the two alone again, offering a tissue to the sobbing blonde in Jason's arms.

Scoffing, Carly takes the tissue and resumes her sobbing. "I was so, so scared you wouldn't get here in time and he'd kill me. I know, I broke the only rule, but in my defense, I had to work and I got taken there."

"I'm sorry I didn't get here quicker," he says, "and that you feel like you're to blame for this. You're not. Cyrus, that sick son of a bitch, is the only one to blame."

"You told me to not go out!"

"I didn't think he'd move in so fast... If I had, I never would've left the house."

"Hey, you are not to blame for this."

"Neither are you."

"Yes, yes I am. He-he kissed me, Jason. He started making out with me, and he hit me when I didn't kiss him back and when I said no. That's when I got the duct tape to my mouth."

To be continued when I can write this and not feel like crying (aka after I watch the Sharkboy and Lavagirl movies because they're BOTH on Netflix now and that's pretty fucking cool.)

@ryleighjosephine