#lets see how tumblr butchers this one

[batfossil-fr]

a gift for someone kind on FR :)

I never have really played around with square brushes before and I wanted to give them a shot, I'm a big fan.

[seiya-starsniper]

Six Degrees of Separation

Rating: Teen || Chapters: 1/4 || Word Count 1.4k

Summary:

The Dead Boy Detectives run into a familiar pub while out on a case, and Crystal has to contend with an unfortunate event from her past.

Hob Gadling wasn't planning on adopting three teenagers and a full grown woman, but stranger things have happened in his long centuries of life.

Read here on Tumblr, or over on AO3

dedicated to @softest-punk for making me emotional about Hob adopting the kids in DBD 💖

----------------

“In here!” Edwin shouts, gesturing frantically at the entrance to a pub that looks vaguely familiar to Crystal. Unfortunately, she doesn’t have much time to wonder before the banshee chasing them lets out a blood curdling scream. Crystal rushes in with Charles right behind her, pushing the door and slamming it shut behind her. Thankfully the pub seems to be completely empty except for one man. 

A man who looked extremely pissed off to see them.

“Oh bloody hell, fuck no, not you, out!” the older man shouts, moving out from behind the bar and looking ready to chase them out by force if necessary. Crystal braces herself, glancing around frantically for some sort of back door that she can bolt to if necessary. She’s pretty sure she can outrun him.

Charles and Edwin however, are a different story.

“Hob, it’s us!” Charles exclaims, throwing up his hands in an attempt to show no harm.

“We’re sorry for bringing a ghost to your door, Mr Gadling,” Edwin adds. “If you’ll just let me borrow one of your books to get rid of this banshee, we’ll be out of your hair.” 

“Not you two, her,” the man, Hob (what the hell kind of name was that?) growls, pointing at Crystal accusingly. Edwin and Charles turn to her in shock, and Crystal is about to protest that she has no idea what this man is on about, but then the memory of how she knows Hob Gadling comes flooding back to her.

The pub they’d run into was The New Inn and Crystal had almost burned it down last year because some girl she hated at school had come here for her 18th birthday. With all of Crystal’s friends, sans Crystal. Ex-friends now, since Crystal had tried to burn the place down with the whole party still inside. Hob had, unsurprisingly, pressed charges, and it took a lot of money from her parents to make everything go away.

“I’m sorry!” Crystal yells, just as the banshee screeches and slams its body against the door behind them. It lights up an iridescent blue, a warding against ghosts. Of course Crystal had to go and fuck up the one supernatural relationship she had because she was an idiot asshole last year. 

“I know this isn’t a great time, but I’m kind of a different person now?” Crystal says, having no idea how to even begin to explain the weird circumstances of the last month. “I swear what my past self did isn't who I am now,” she adds, also raising her hands to show she means no harm. 

“She’s part of the Dead Boy Detectives Agency, mate,” Charles interjects, while Edwin nods furiously in agreement. “Please don’t throw her out!”

The banshee lets out another screech and slams itself against the door, rattling the frame so hard that Crystal’s afraid it might fly off the hinges at any moment. Whatever ward Hob had placed, it wasn’t going to hold out for that much longer.

“What the hell is going on?!” a familiar voice cries out, and then Jenny Green of all people is coming out of what Crystal assumes is the kitchen. She’s also brandishing a butcher knife, because why would any of that change now that she lives across the pond?

“Jenny?!” Charles and Edwin yell.

“Oh fuck,” the older woman curses, glancing back and forth between the three of them and Hob. Crystal really hopes they haven’t just gotten Jenny fired. Finding a job had been tough enough for her when they'd relocated, and she had refused any help financially from Crystal.

“You know them?!” Hob asks, shock clear in his voice.

“It’s a long story,” Jenny grumbles, then screams when the banshee throws itself against the door again. “What the fuck, why did you lead a ghost here? ”

The door rattles and creaks, and the ward around the pub shimmers and vibrates angrily, which seems to finally prompt Hob to action. He straightens his back, rubs a hand over his face, and then takes one, two, three deep breaths before he looks them all over appraisingly. 

“Jenny, get the salt from the back,” Hob orders, gesturing her back to the kitchen. “The iron knives should be on the shelf next to them. Edwin, you know where the tomes are,” he adds pointing upwards, likely towards a room on the second floor of the pub. Jenny and Edwin nod quietly before disappearing to their designated posts, leaving Crystal and Charles alone with Hob.

“Right, so since when have the Dead Boys gotten themselves involved with trust fund brats?” Hob asks, still eyeing Crystal warily as if he expects her to pull out a lighter at any moment. 

“Since this trust fund brat got possessed by a demon and got her memories stolen,” Crystal answers, wincing when she realizes how harsh that sounds. “Sorry. I just recently got them back and it's been a weird time. I really am sorry though. For like, nearly burning this place to the ground cause I was mad.”

“You did what? ” Charles cries out, his mouth agape. “Please tell me that was all David’s doing.”

Crystal scrunches up her face and then shakes her head. “I wish it was, but no. Just plain old shitty Crystal,” she answers truthfully.

Hob looks between the two of them, then sighs, his expression softening. 

“Look, clearly you’ve done some soul searching and I am the last person who should be allowed to hold a grudge against someone who’s done some bad things,” he says, then gestures to Charles. “If the boys vouch for you, then I’m willing to bury the hatchet. All right, Ms Von-Hovercraft?”

“Please just call me Crystal,” Crystal pleads. She really hated being referred to by her surname. It still felt weird and foreign to her, after everything she had gone through. Hob huffs, and this time when he looks at her, there isn’t a shred of contempt in his expression.

“Yeah okay. Crystal,” he says warmly. “You can call me Hob.”

Crystal wants to ask where the hell the name Hob comes from, because she’s pretty sure she remembers his name being Richard , but before she can say anything, Edwin and Jenny come back and Hob turns his full attention to taking care of the banshee that’s trying to get past the wards he has around the entire pub. 

“You’re lucky Tuesday’s a slow night,” Hob says, before he starts flipping through the tome. “Jenny, Crystal, make a salt circle by the tables over there,” he adds, pointing to his left. “You’re going to need to lead her there so we can trap her.”

Crystal and Jenny make as large of a circle as they can, pouring generous amounts of salt into the floor. When they’re done, Hob instructs them to the front of the pub, where the door is still rattling and glowing angrily. Edwin and Charles are standing next to Hob, Charles with his cricket bat out, and Edwin and Hob ready to chant the spell within the tome. 

“When I count to three, open the door and run like hell into the salt circle,” Hob tells them. “One, two, THREE!”

Crystal throws open the door and both she and Jenny cover their ears as they run towards the salt circle. The banshee’s cries are even louder now that she’s inside the pub, but their plan works. She follows them straight into the circle, then screeches again in anger once she realizes she cannot follow them out. Her long hands try to grab for Jenny’s apron, but Charles materializes right at the circle’s edge to bat her hand away. 

Hob and Edwin start chanting some spell in what Crystal assumes is Latin, and the banshee screeches at an even louder volume than before. The salt circle alights a bright gold, and Crystal and Jenny are practically thrown backwards by the force of the magic taking effect.

The banshee lets out one more high pitched scream, and then her dark grey dress suddenly becomes stark white, dark and wet black hair paling slowly to a soft light brown. When the banshee lifts her face, her eyes are no longer sunken and black, but wide and bright green. 

She’s beautiful, now that she’s no longer in pain.

The Night Nurse shows up shortly afterwards, collecting the woman and gently reassuring her that she’s going to a better place. She looks at Hob like she’s offended by his very existence, which the man takes in stride and cheerfully waves her off, telling her to say hello to her boss for him. 

“Right then,” Hob says after the banshee and the Night Nurse have left. “Now that that’s taken care of, care to explain to me what the bloody hell is the connection with you lot?”

[justjams2003]

Fast Pace- 12

Before we start, I'd just like to wish you all a very happy New Year! Know that there is plenty more to come from me in the coming year. And also thank you all for 420 followers (haha nice), I'm still in shock that people keep coming back and wants more. Believe it or not, this is the most active community and website I have ever written for and I'm so glad to have found Tumblr. Anyways enjoy xoxo

Summary: You're a hard-working Chef in Paris and after a freak accident run-in with Carlos Sainz, your life makes a 180. Let's just say with a certain agreement, you get your bills paid and in return stand in as Carlos' girlfriend for the press. But will you be able to handle the pressure and ensure the lines don't blur?

Pairing: Sugar Daddy!Carlos Sainz x Sugar Baby!Reader

Warnings: I've aged up Carlos, he is 33 in this fic. Smoking, smut, sexual themes, age difference, manipulation, control, slight obsession, the word 'daddy', nudity, a garbage family, family trauma, disowning, tell me if I missed any

Taglist: @httpjeonlicious, @f1lov3r, @messersandmesses, @hollie911, @oriconde08 @thehufflepuffavenger1 @fanboyluvr @thatgirlmj @whyamireadingthis @oriconde08 @depressedriches @roseseraj @skepvids @sain55wifey @distinguishedvoidlady @amatswimming @sachaa-ff @lightdragonrayne @lazybot @formula1mount @fangirl-dot-com @saintslewis @carlossainzwho @lordpercevalcharles @topguncultleader @kitixie @serp3ns0rtiae @hangmandruigandmav @therealone4r @keii134 @dark-night-sky-99 @jax-the-oregonian @hachrinnen

Word count: 3,1k

Masterlist

Part 11~Part 13 (coming soon)

“Echanté de voi rencontre, Monsur.” Carlos is trying his best, but at the moment he is butchering your home-tongue. You can’t but be nervous, he however seems as calm as a cucumber about meeting your parents. He’s got the sunglasses on that you gave him. You can see from where your sitting, your initials carved into the side. “No, no, mon cher. Good try, but it’s Enchanté de vous rencontrer, Monsieur.”  

He sighs, rubbing his face in his hands. He looks so much more relaxed already. He’s got short khaki’s on and a casual button up shirt. You’ve hired a more practical car for the week, one with a big trunk. You got your family lots of presents and might have overpacked a bit. Still not used to having such a big amount of money. But even still, you have the sunroof open, enjoying the county side air.  

“I’m sorry, mi querida,” he shakes his head and rakes his fingers through his hair. You can’t help yourself, tucking the stray hairs that fray in the wind behind his ears. “I should’ve gotten a haircut before we came.” He sighs, but you can see that he enjoys your touch. “No, it is the perfect length, don’t change a thing about it.” He gives a side-eye but you can only laugh. “No, it’s in the way.” 

You pout, “No, your hair is just long enough to...grab...” you mutter, taking a handful of hair and pulling on it ever so slightly. Surprisingly, a growl escapes his throat. The noise causes a warmth to spread through your body.

The sunlight hits his skin just beautifully, he looks like hot caramel. Something you want to drizzle into your mouth. You’re sure you could cook a steak on his sizzling skin.  

“This is your home then?” He asks, while caring the bags. He refuses to let you carry a single one. You nod and then knock on the door. “It is a small house for 7 people, no?” He’s not wrong. “Oui, us three girls had to share a room and the boys shared a room.” He grimaces at your words, “Then one day we will have a big house.” You blush at his words and wrap your arms around his, all while subtly taking a photo.  

The door opens, you only now realise how short your mom has gotten. Or maybe it really has been so long. “Ah, ma fille, tu viens enfin rendre visite à ta vieille mère. Cela fait si longtemps et enfin tu ramènes un homme à la maison!” She instantly starts rambling and then opens up her arms and gives Carlos a big hug. “N'es-tu pas si beau? Quel est votre nom et pourquoi êtes-vous avec ma fille?”  

Carlos looks like a fish out of water. His face is entirly blank and he just seems to be nodding along. “Enchanté de vous rencontrer, Mademoiselle,” he stutters through the French, his Spanish accent still blatantly obvious. Your mother just frowns at his bad French. “He doesn’t speak French.” Her wide smile turns sour, “Pourquoi faire venir un homme inutile qui ne parle pas français?”  

You sigh and then nudge him, “the presents,” you whisper. “Il s'appelle Carlos et il a apporté des cadeaux.” Now she really does smile as he holds up the presents. “Oui, come in, come in.” Like always, he allows you to walk in first.

“What did she say?” He asks to you in a whisper. You sigh and shake your head. “Nothing that you need to worry yourself about.” You give him a kiss on the cheek, trying to soothe his usually worry.  

“Apportez-lui quelque chose à boire, je suis sûr qu'il est fatigué après son très long voyage.” You sigh, of course she asks that of you. As if you and him didn’t have the same trip. You turn to Carlos after he sat down along with your mother to open her present, that you picked out. 

 “Carlos, what would you like to drink?” He frowns and then stands up. He takes your arm and then leads you to the couch. “You must be tired, mi querido, it was a four-hour trip, I’m sure you are tired.” He leads you to sit down next to him, he pulls you into his side. Everything in you wants to cuddle into his side, but you can feel your mother’s judgemental eyes on you.  

Instead, you shake your head, “My mother insists that I get you something to drink. You did drive after all.” You can see the tick in his jaw, clearly not happy with this. He smiles, forced clearly, “Please tell your mother I don’t need anything to drink.” You sigh and do just so and she replies with some comment insisting you do just that. Yes, you are exhausted but even still you stand and pour him a drink.  

“Je vais lui montrer la chambre.” You grab him by the arm and pull him up towards your old bedroom. Quite ungracefully you fall on your childhood bed. He smirks, but his smile is quick to fall. “Mi dulce niña, does she always make you feel like this?” Carlos asks you give and exhausted laugh. “You don’t even know what she said,” you peak at him, and he pulls you into his lap.  

He kisses your forehead, “Tell me," You sigh and rest you head on his shoulder. “When she met you, she went, ‘you’re so handsome why are you dating my daughter?’ And then she went, ‘you’re so stupid bringing a man that doesn’t even speak French.’ Then after that it was, ‘poor thing he’s so tired bring him something to drink.’ As if I wasn’t on the exact same trip as you!”  

His jaw locks and his arms wrap tighter around you, “Does she always speak to you like that,” you sigh and sink deeper into his arms. “Why do you think I brought you with. Call you my armour,” you laugh, actually hiding behind his arms. He laughs, but it’s the same type of awkward type, “Where is your dad, is he any better?”  

You hum and then walk down the stairs again after taking your breather and then ask your Maman where your father is. “He is outside with your brother, working hard as always,” she says, still in French.

“Really, which one?” You ask, opening the back door, only to see your oldest brother chopping wood while your father carves the same wood right next to him. “Bér!” You call out and once he sees you, he smiles.  

You walk into the back fields, Carlos trailing behind you and when you do finally meet your brother, he gives you a warm hug. “Finally, back in your own country,” he comments, and you can’t help but furrow your brows. “What do you mean?” You ask, you haven’t told anyone about anything. “You think I haven’t noticed? I am not like Mama and Papa who do not own a phone and use the library’s computer to email you.”  

You frown and watch his eyes. They’re train on Carlos who seems to be struggling with the mud and his very expensive shoes. “Traveling the world with mister Armani,” he teases you like always, and you can’t help but step on his shoes. “Enchanté, Monsieur.” Carlos holds out his hand and it makes you and your brother laugh out loud. “Don’t worry, race-man... I am not her father.” You jab your brother in the stomach.  

“But he’s even worse.” He groans and then begins complaining in French but you’re quick to stop him. “Connard, you know Carlos doesn’t speak French, clearly, you’ve been stalking him. So don’t be an ass,” Bérenger sighs at your words and then translates for Carlos.

“I was just saying that I you see in your fancy Ferrari and your expensive shoes, no one in the family can understand someone like you being with a dull girl like her.” He shrugs and you both laugh, it’s the way you talk as siblings.  

Even so, Carlos’ expression turns sour. “He much more than that Bérenger, now, play nice.” Before you turn to leave to say hello to your father, you ask your brother one last thing. This time in French, because you’d rather not have Carlos know just yet. “How is Papa today?” You brother hesitates, knowing exactly what you’re talking about. “He’s there, like before, no confusion yet today.”  

You nod and make your way over. “Bonjour Papa, I’ve come to visit.” Your father looks up to you, his eyes clear. Not that his personality has changed much, he replies in a gruff tone. “Who’s the boy?” His eyes are like daggers on Carlos.

“He’s my boyfriend,” your dad rolls his eyes. “Yeah, sure. And for how long is he going to put up with you?” You laugh, like always keeping the peace. “I’m not some terrible burden. At least, not in his eyes.”  

Like always he just replies with a scoff.  

Before long, you’re washing dishes after dinner. “Mi paloma, please tell your mother the dinner was delicious.” You can feel his big strong arms wrap around your waist. You’re sure he's feeling a bit alone. It’s only been you and your brother here who can even speak English.

You smile, “Thank you, Carlos, but she didn’t make it.” It’s the truth, the whole evening Bérenger and Carlos chopped wood, all while you have to take care of your mother’s ever whim, like always.  

It doesn’t bother you; it’s always been like this. But you can tell it’s getting to Carlos. “No wonder I liked it so much, it’s your cooking. But, mi dulce niña, you barely ate, aren’t you hungry?” He caresses yours even as you continue washing. “Thank you, Carlos, it’s nice hearing some positive words after that dinner.” He sighs, burrowing his face on the crook of your neck.  

“You’re avoiding my question.” He places small kisses here and there. “It’s not in the diet plan,” it’s an excuse, your mother had been commenting on your weight all evening. Yes, it’s true you’d gained weight, but you’d been working out and most of it is muscle. But her words are sharp, and the thoughts are springing up. If it makes her happy, better so. He does his usual noise when he’s unhappy when something.  

“Tomorrow I’ll cook dinner,” you gasp, turning to him, his words have caused delight in you. “I’d like to see that,” his brows furrow but a smug look is on his face. “What? You don’t think I can?” In your mind, yes, he has a difficult life, but that’s just stress. He has personal chefs and personal trainers and likely his father had too. Not way did he ever learn to cook. “No, not at all.” 

You cross your arms, and he just laughs. “Fine then, I'll show you. You can even post it on your Instagram.” This sparks joy, you love seeing people’s reactions to you and him.

So far, they’ve been nothing but positive. In these short three weeks you’ve gotten 50k new followers. If they’re there for you or Carlos, doesn’t matter to you. You’ll give them what they want either way.  

“You mean it?” Your hands reach up and take hold of his shirt. “Only if you eat,” and with that you bite your lip and nod. “Okay, you’ve got yourself a deal.” He sighs, takes a drying rag and begins helping you by putting away the dishes. “Oh Carlos! Ne perdez pas votre temps avec la vaisselle, Y/N la fera. Laisse-moi te montrer ses photos de bébé.”  

You sigh, leaning your head against his chest. “Oh no,” his brows furrow pulling you away to see what the matter is. “She wants to show you my baby pictures.” A deep laugh escapes his chest. “Mi querida, I’d love to help you finish this, but I can’t miss that.” You laugh but do allow him to see little you.  

“What colour are you choosing?” You ask your mother, watching as she scans through the different nail polishes. Like expect she chooses a toned-down pink, she rarely does her nails but when she does, it’s always that same colour. “Why don’t you choose something different? Look I’m going with this black with gold shimmer. We’re somewhere nice, don’t you want to use the opportunity?”  

Your mother just looks at you over her glasses. “And why is that?” It’s already Thursday, the week had been going by slower than you expected it would and only made you realise why you visit so little.

The only good thing so far has been your father’s awareness, he’s had a few moments of unclarity these past few months. Even so, just like growing up, he doesn’t exactly stand up for you against your mother’s badgering.  

Like always, it's just the usual gruff short replies and relative quietness. Carlos, however, has been nothing but kind. The dinner he cooked was amazing, the fans swooned in your comments. At night he’d hold you tight and whisper sweet nothings. All about how beautiful you are and how you’re perfect as is. It helps, yes, but nothing compares to motherly love. You do everything you can, but still don’t feel like enough.  

“Ah, Mama, don’t be like that.” After that, she continues about the gossip of the town and the lives of your siblings. That is of course until you’re sitting at the dinner table again. Enjoying the food Carlos has crafted to fit both of your diets, showing him your nails. He loves them and makes sure to kiss your knuckles.  

That is, until your mother interrupts your bliss. “Y/N, what did you say Carlos does?” You bite the inside of your cheek. “He is a Formula one driver.” You mutter, trying to hide yourself behind her sharp glare. “And are you still a chef?” You swallow your food; you’ve been avoiding this question for as long as possible. You shake your head, “No, Mama,” her bitter stare grows stronger.  

“So, what is it that you do?” She raises her voice, now your father seems interested. “I am working on my modelling career.” Both your parents groan and gasp in raised tones. “This again,” your brother mutters, he too has been harsh with you. “Why do you keep going on and on about this modelling. Ever since you were small. My daughter, you know I love you, but you aren’t like those pretty girls.”  

Her words are like knifes; knifes reopening wounds you’d been working so hard to heal. Carlos takes your hand under the table. This whole time he’d been encouraging you to stand up for yourself. Convincing you that what they’re saying aren’t normal and that you shouldn’t tolerate it. You’ve tried persuading him or more yourself that she’s your mother and she does it out of love.  

But she’s been ungrateful all week. As if she hasn’t been begging you to come home and talk to her. She comments on everything, your weight, your hair even your laugh. Saying you squeal like a pig, you tried to laugh less after that one. She hates her nails and all the presents you brought home. More than all, you’ve been dreading this happening. Hoping that it never would.  

“No, Mama, I do not know that you love me,” she gasps and begins screaming even more. “How could you not know? I raised you. I fed you, clothed you, gave you the deposit to get your degree. Which you don’t even use now!” The anger over comes you and you rise from your chair. “Carlos will gladly pay back all that money if I was such a burden on you!”  

The whole table goes eerily quiet. Soon it is interrupted by a scoff from your brother. “So what? He’s like your Sugar Daddy, right?” You take a moment to calm down, trying to decide if you’re going to say the truth. But they're your family. You should never lie to your family, right? “Yes,” you take his hand back into yours. You can see that he’s picked up his name and knows he’s being discussed.  

“What is that, Bérenger?” Your mother asks, switching between you and your brother. “She fucks him for money. A glorified prostitute!” His words are harsh and spit flies as he screams. You know for a fact that if Carlos understood French, he’d be raging.

“Unbelievable!” Your mother gasps out and another raging fire starts in you. “What? Is it so unbelievable that someone could actually love me so much that they’d pay to see me?”  

Years and years or anger and trauma, built up due to constant belittlement finally breaks through. “Why does it shock you all so much that he thinks I’m beautiful. That he thinks I’m more worth than all the riches in the world. You hate it that someone actually respects me, because you can’t knock me down anymore.”

Again, the table goes quiet before your brother speaks again. This time in English, clearly wanting Carlos to understand what he’s saying.  

“He doesn’t respect you. He doesn’t care for you. And he most certainly doesn’t love you. He just wants to fuck you. And once he’s bored of you, he’ll take what he’s given and leave you with nothing.” Before you can curse out your brother, a sharp crack is heard. Your brother is on the floor, nursing a bloody nose. “Don’t you ever, ever talk to her like that ever again.”  

You can hear your mother rambling on about her poor son and can only scoff at her reaction. “I’m not some city boy who doesn’t know how to throw a punch. You won’t believe how strong 6G’s of force make you.” Through all the commotion, there is a muttering that can be heard. Listening carefully, it is your father. “Get out, get out,” he repeats over and over.  

You bow your head down low, right by his ear but just shake off his words. This irritates him and he too raises his voice. “Get out, you’re no daughter of mine.” You laugh at his words, “Don’t be silly, Papa, you must be having one of your episodes.” You go to rub his back, in your mind to soothe him but he grabs your wrist before he can.  

“Hear me when I say this girl, because I am clear of mind when I do. While you are still whoring yourself out to this man, you are no daughter of mine.” The realisation hits you like a truck. So much so, that you stagger back, Carlos catching you as your head becomes dizzy. “Mi pequeña, what is the matter?” All you can do is shake your head.  

“Come, Carlos, it seems that we are not welcome here.”   

Just so p.s. me not translating the French and Spanish is for a reason. I'm not just being spiteful, it is part of the storytelling. If you want to get a good grade in fanfic reading (which is totally possible and a very normal thing to want) feel welcome to translate it 😉

Tag list is open, just ask!

[autisticsupervillain]

My last post about Agent 47 being a Tumblr Icon proved popular, so here's more Tumblr approved 47 facts.

47's wife has technically killed him twice. Both times it was so he could come back to life later and kill his actual target. Diana could walk right into his living room, stab him with a butcher's knife, and he'd just go "well, who are we killing today honey?"

47 once had to get close to his target by disguising himself as a giant flammingo mascot. One of his target's bodyguards, a furry, tries to start a conversation about it. 47 could not end that conversation quick enough.

One time, 47 tried to disguise himself as a realtor to get close to his target. All of his attempts to sell the house to his target involve advice on how to kill someone in those rooms. The target never questions this. Later, both the target and 47 stumble across a month's old crime scene. 47 goes full detective mode and delivers a full paragraph detailing what happened and how the victim died, before remembering he's supposed to be a realtor right now and brushing it off.

One time, in order to get close to a target, 47 got a job interview at a bank. His response to every question involves more or less just flat out admitting that he kills people for a living. They hire him on the spot.

47 has read his universe's version of the Twilight novels. He also killed the author of said Twilight knockoffs, but not before criticizing his writing and complaining about a plot point he didn't like.

47 once infiltrated a secret meeting of international spies, billionaires, and supervillains by walking right past the guards in his regular iconic suit, as everyone took one look at him and assumed he was supposed to be there.

Agent 47 canonically has an aura of death that hangs over him that only psychics can see. When an actually psychic meets him for the first time, he panics and all but pushes 47 out of his establishment.

47's most used alias, Tobias Rieper, as an instagram account. It's filled entirely with travel pictures from places he's visited while killing people.

Agent 47 inexplicably looks identical to one of the most popular fashion models in the world, Helmut Krueger. This doesn't hinder his ability to disguise himself as literally anyone in the world though.

One time, a bunch of nuns in stripper outfits showed up at 47's hotel to blow him the fuck up with a rocket launcher. He was inexplicably completely unharmed by the explosion.

One time, a mad scientist tried to test his mind control device on 47. 47 resisted it so hard that the scientist dropped dead from the psychic backlash.

One of his regular outfits for missions is a clown suit.

47 has a reputation at his agency for killing people in the most ridiculous and over the top ways possible. It got to the point that another assassin tried to imitate 47's style, which backfired so badly that the assassin accidentally killed everyone in the building, including himself, and let the target get away completely unharmed.

47 once manipulated another assassin into killing his targets for him. Unfortunately, said assassin was so bad at his job that 47 had to do everything for him, from adjusting his sniper rifle so he could actually fire it, to getting the targets into his line of sight so the assassin would actually see them.

47 once stopped a depressed person fresh off a bad break up from an abusive relationship from committing suicide by following him around the globe and beating him unconscious every time he tried to kill himself, all without the guy ever actually noticing him. 47 only stopped when the guy decided he must have a guardian angel looking out for him because he keeps falling asleep whenever he considers going through with the deed, deciding he owes that angel an honest attempt to getting his life back on track again.

Agent 47 has a friend in the CIA named Agent Smith, who keeps getting kidnapped and held prisoner at all the locations 47 is doing missions in. 47 keeps having to rescue him because Smith usually has good intel on his targets. Smith considers 47 his best friend, while 47 holds Smith in open contempt.

47 is a millionaire, but he cannot spend any of his money on luxary items due to his life style. His profession means he's constantly moving to new homes and can only live safely in sparce homes with nothing but fast food to tide him over. His suits are his only affordable luxary, as anything more lavish could expose his location and get him arrested or killed. He's a millionaire who has to live like a broke king thanks to his triple digit body count. It's only when Freelancer happens that he finally gets his own home.

47 is a pro at Dance Dance Revolution, but only when he is dressed like a ninja.

And finally, 47 has canonically killed countless fascists, pedophiles, billionaires, and even anti-vaxers who run MLM pyramid schemes. Up to 365 of them and counting, in fact.

[tanuki-kimono]

Hello! I keep reading fiction with kimono hemmed to fit, and I keep thinking that can't be right. I can see it if their genes mean widening shoulders, but aren't kimono folded and tucked under the obi? Thank you for looking over this detail. (I'll stay anonymous because it's an honest mistake, and I don't want specific writers to feel cornered about it)

Hi! Np for this anon ask, I'll just stress here I most often reply via Tumblr messenger so don't hesitate to ask for private answer if you need it :)

On to your question: you are right, hemming (in the Western sense of the word) a kimono is not usually done in traditional Japanese tailoring.

One of the main reasons is that fabric bolts (tanmono) are a somehow standard unit, with patterning done with kimono tailoring in mind (so motifs match between panels etc).

Hemming a kimono means important parts of your kimono design will disappear! It is especially true for woman's kimono who often often display patterns on their lower skirt + sleeves.

When you wear a kimono with woman styling, the kimono is supposed to be more or less your total height to fit you size. The extra material is then tucked at the waist to form what is called the ohashori fold hold up by ties (himo). That fold gives you leeway as to which kimono you can wear as it is much more forgiving than Western clothes sizing. Being tall simply mean your ohashori will be small or non existent.

Men styling is a bit different as men don't do ohashori, which mean the kimono is tailored to their exact size (= give or take your height minus 30cm).

Kimono were usually passed to new wearers as time went, which means they are supposed to be worn by several body types. So, what about when a kimono is truly too big/small for the wearer?

Fabric was once (and still is) an expensive material so cutting it was a big no! Cutting also meant loosing the original tanmono panneling which was a terrible thing to do for any future alterations.

We so have two scenarios:

1) the wearer is a child: tucks are made at the shoulders (kata age) to reduce width, waist (koshi age) to reduce lenght, and sleeves (sode age). You can see in this past note a great example showing how a kid grew into a kimono:

2) The wearer is an adult: the kimono would have been totally unsewn, and then sewn back together, hiding the extra material into seams/letting the fabric needed for bigger wearer.

Taking a kimono apart is not especially unheard of, and it is actually the traditional way to clean it (tokiarai = unstitching a kimono and washing​ / araihari = stretching pieces of a kimono on boards to dry after they have been washed and starched​). You can see it done here:

Becky from Silk and bones has many kimono specimen photographed if you want to actually see how they are made - and just how much fabric can be hidden away into seams + how disastrous and infuriating it is to have a kimono with butchered cut fabric :(

TL:DR : People don't "hem" their kimono to wear them, women for ex. tuck the extra fabric away and go in their merry way. If sewing is needed, "hemming" is not exactly what would be done in kimono tailoring. A better way to describe it would probably be "adjusted" or "altered" to size :)

[bunny-pxp]

Slashers! With a S/O who adores Cats.

AN: Hello! Im back, as you can see. But anyways, we all know that I took a break from Tumblr for a while so I want to greet everyone with a fluff writing! So, please enjoy. Characters being ‘used’: Bubba Sawyer, Billy Lenz.

Warning ⚠️ : Not proof read.

REQUESTS : OPEN.

Bubba Sawyer

Bubba had grown to know that you adored cats. Mostly from how you would always get as excited as ever if you saw a cat wondering out in between the two sheds. Or, out in the old water hole drinking from it.. And he found it amusing. Never to judge you from your sudden outbursts of, “Oh my god! Look, Bubba look! .. a cat!” Whilst you pointed out from the window.

Sometimes, he would join in your watchings. Chiseling his butcher knife onto the wooden table and sitting next to you, watching as the little gray cat walks through the dirt and hops through the dead trees.

..Soon enough, Bubba sees that the little gray cats keeps coming more often or stopping by the front door. So he begins to leave out some leftover meat for it, just so he could rush to you. Squealing for you to step out and see the little surprise on the doorstep (how adorable).

Maybe, a few days later the cat gets warmed up to the both of you. Curling up to your hand when you touch its face, licking at the pads of your fingers or even gliding its tail against your wrist. Which just makes you absolutely melt.. “Aghh!— It touched me! It let me pet it, yess”.

Bubba, absolutely adores this little love of cats of yours. And he runs along with it, as he loves to see you smile continuously.

Billy Lenz

Billy never really catched onto your love for cats, as it was confusing to him in a way. “Why.. Why does piggy like cats, more than me?!” was one thing he would always repeat to you. But you would soon explain that you didn’t like or love them more than him, just that you found them cute. (which lead to MORE questions).

Sometimes, he would watch you from afar as you ran your hands through the fur of the chubby white cat that belonged to one of the workers. And would squint at the sight, judging you.

A little while after, he catches himself peeking at the pudgy cat as it walks up the stairs, down the stairs or hopping down from the rails. Meaning, he’s denying the fact he also somewhat finds it cute. To the point he wants to have a feel at it.

One day, as you’re sneaking into the attic. He claws at your arms and pulls you in, begging for you to bring it to the attic and that he wants to pet it .. “Give it! Billy wants to touch it too!”. You had gotten to his soft-spot.

[luxaofhesperides]

Listen. I love the dcxdp crossover. It’s a lot of fun! There’s so much that can be done for this crossover, with all the characters and settings and the many plots that can spring up from them. But as much as I love writing for it and sharing my fics with the community, there’s been a significant uptick in things that are rubbing me the wrong way. Some of these things have to do with canon vs fanon, but others are more about the shifting culture of the community.

(keep in mind that I only see things on Tumblr and am not in any discords, so my experience will be different from others bc I have a more limited experience with the wider community)

(putting it all under a read more bc its long)

Let’s start off with a look at what we’re doing as a group:

Building off of completed fics on tumblr: I always thought the etiquette is to not build off of a completed work without permission. Someone had an idea and executed it, then shared it with us. It should end there. If you want to add to it, contact the author first and see if it’s something they’re fine with; some will say no, some will say yes, some will say yes but be sure to credit them for the original fic. A lot of what I’m seeing is a completed fic gets added on to in a way that completely takes it away from the original idea. Having experienced this myself (on a requested prompt from someone else, no less), I found it kind of rude. Maybe it’s just me, but a completed fic is not a prompt request or something open for building up another story around. It’s already completed. Leave the story as is and let the author know you liked it.

Expecting others to write for you: the prompts are what build this crossover fandom, in my eyes. Prompts are posted and people create something around them, either as a group by adding onto what other people are saying, or as individual fics that one person wrote. Now I’m seeing people throw out prompts that are basically fic outlines, then begging others to write something for it. Like, those prompts are already written! They have very specific details! Why not write it yourself? You’re already halfway there, you can just write the thing you want to see and post it. It’s not about being ‘good’ or ‘bad’ at writing, it’s about crafting an idea to share to the world. Why ask others to write it for you when you’ve already practically done it?

But also, you are not owed fic. This might just be general fandom burn out talking, but being a fic author who has been treated like a machine? It sucks. I love writing, but I share what I write because what I wrote made me happy and I wanted to share that with others. I’m not a content creating machine who has to pump out fic after fic for other people’s entertainment. I just want to share what I love and having people pop up in my notifs only going “write more/tag me/sequel?/etc” is tiring. I get that it’s coming from a place of love bc you liked the fic enough to want to see more, but please actually talk about what I’ve already written instead of going “update? More? MORE????”

Hostility to DC canon: I get that DC canon is a mess, but it still is a canon and has a lot of cool stuff! I’m seeing a lot of posts recently about how dpxdc people refuse to engage with the comics, and I need to let yall know that this is not a new thing. DC fans also refuse to engage with the comics (it’s mostly batfam) and it’s very easy to tell who has and who hasnt ready batfam related stuff bc the fanon is incredibly wrong about characterisation and what happened in comics. But that’s for a different post.

I’m seeing both sides of the argument (this is for fun, reading comics isn’t required, don’t like don’t read vs it’s tiring seeing people butcher my favorite characters into ocs with their name/face, I want to share my love for comics but there’s so much pushback, it shouldn’t be weird to expect people engaging with a media to have actually engaged with that media). And I think you should engage with comics! DP is a unique case in which fanon is for the most part better and more interesting than the original show (also death to the author/butch hartman), but DC comics shouldn’t be engaged with in that way. If you like the characters you see in dpxdc, you should read about them in comics! The whole point of a fandom is that you’re a fan of the original media. That’s why you’re engaging with it in this way, writing within the world and characters and canon.

I don’t know how people write for fandoms when they’re not familiar with the source material. I wanted to write dcxdp so I started rewatching DP. I’m reading comics. I want to know the characters and their stories so I can have a foundation to write from, and also to better understand the media so I can share my love for it. The refusal to engage with source material while engaging with its fandom is so strange to me.

Also dc fans who love the comics are great! In my experience, they’re very kind and willing to help you jump into comics! Don’t know where to start? Pick a character or team and follow them! Want a reading guide? We’ve got TONS. want thoughts on a specific character or comic run? Just ask!

Now to more specific points about what I’m seeing in dcxdp works:

Mischaracterized batfam: this is a group of people who are disasters and have complicated relationships with each other. They’re kind, wonderful people who bring out the best and worst in each other. Why is Batman always adopting people. Why is this a running joke with the batfam. I get it being a joke the first few times, but I’ve seen it so often and done like it’s accurate characterization that I just. I can’t. I leave that fic immediately. I can’t do it anymore. Batman is paranoid and tried very hard to keep kids away from him/away from being a vigilante. Unfortunately all the kids he got are stubborn and smart so he was doomed from the beginning.

Superman and Kon: you guys are pretty much only pulling from Young Justice Animated which I think is a terrible adaptation, but that’s my own taste. But seriously. Clark is kind. That’s an important part of his character! He’s the strongest man in the world and he’s kind. He was also dead when Kon first appeared as a experiment from CADMUS in Hawaii. They’re not father-son, but they are family and they do care for each other, once they get to know each other. Also Kon is not an angry broody boy, he’s funny! And annoying! pls read kon comics guys, i promise youll like his actual character

Chronos??? Guys. Chronos is not a god in DC canon. He is in Greek mythology, but in DC he’s a Captain Atom villain and he’s literally just a guy who got obsessed with having perfect timing. He’s themed around clocks. He has nothing to do with time travel or time gods. The Speedforce is Time, basically, and it is not human. It is an eldritch being beyond our comprehension that can eat people. If it chooses to have a human form, it’s going to choose to look like Bart. Please read Flash stuff, it’s interesting!

Lazarus Pit Madness lasts like 5 minutes in canon. Jason having it, and being affected by it for years, is a purely fanon thing from the dc side. Not going to say anything more on this because it goes into Jason Todd discourse.

Repetition: I’m sorry but I’m tired of seeing the same things over and over. I barely see anything out of the dcxdp tags thats new and fun to engage with. Everything is the same variation of “Danny helps Pit Mad Jason”, “Bruce insta-adopts Danny”, “Superman is mean to clones”, etc etc. Think of any popular dcxdp trope and that’s all you’ll see. I get why these are fun and popular, but the way it’s being engaged with now? It literally makes me exit Tumblr and put my phone down.

Not every prompt has to go down the same routes as the other prompts. Please explore more options, branch out, twist those tropes around to do something new with them. And also stop going onto other people’s fics and saying “what about [dcxdp trope]? Cant wait to see [dcxdp trope]! You should have [dcxdp] trope.” If I didn’t include it, it’s not included for a reason. There are hundreds of other fics that write specifically about those exact tropes. Read those, or write your own. (im being super bitter here but please just let me write what i want to write without trying to pull the story into another direction for a trope you like. Im writing for me, but sharing it for you. Not every fic needs those tropes in them.)

Tumblr specific things: this is less about the content and more about general posting etiquette. Please put long posts under a read more. If it’s more then three paragraphs, consider adding a read more if there is significantly MORE than three paragraphs. Tag appropriately. Content warnings and trigger warnings should be at the very top of the post and in the tags so they can be properly blocked. If you’re posting fic/prompt, please double check your spelling and fix any typos you find because posts that are filled with excessive typos are difficult to read.

There’s probably a lot more to talk about, but just getting this much out is tiring and, frankly, I don’t want to think on it any more today. If you reply/add comments, I won’t get to them in a while bc I will be writing ghostlights and yhk fic to lift my mood :)

[the-fiction-witch]

Now On Your Life

Media The Artful Dodger (Pre Show Release)

Character Jack Dawkins

Couple Jack X Reader

Rating Cute

I asked! and you little bats have answered! Jack is officially in!

And fun little celebration! this makes my 4000th tumblr post!

I hummed myself a little tune, as I strolled leisurely about the market from stall to stall. My Wicker basket in hand littered with items I had purchased and my small coin purse prepared to purchase more. Often I smiled at those working the stalls or other ladies like myself making their way around. I stopped to look over some eggs when a voice spoke up.

"Miss Y/l/n"

I didn't even need to glance over, I knew who it was, and unfortunately knew what he wanted.

"Dr Dawkins, to what do I owe the pleasure?"

"You missed an appointment"

"I wasn't aware I had an appointment" I smiled picking out my eggs and handing over the money taking my eggs and adding them to my basket

"Liar. You had an appointment and you know you did. This is the sixth time you've missed this"

"Ohh how tragic" I said moving to the next stall and looking over some fruits and veg

"You can't keep ignoring it"

"I'm not ignoring it"

"Yes you are"

"No I'm not. I am simply not letting your butcher hands at me" I told him as I went on through the market with him following along behind me 

"If you don't let my hands at you you'll die"

"No, I won't"

"Ughhhh must you be so stubborn" 

"I do not need your madman butchering, I have my medicines"

"Ohh your herbal teas and lavender salt. That's not going to help you"

"It's kept me alive so far Dawkins" I said as I continued on with my shopping

"Will you listen to me. I've told you a hundred times you have to come and let me do something if you don't you're going to be in incredible pain"

"And?"

"And you know I don't want to see you in pain" 

"Don't you? you make money from people being in pain" I snapped as I hurried through the market "It is quite literally your business, so why would I trust you do to anything? You want me to be in pain so you make more money I understand the business of it all." but he grabbed my arm pulling me close 

"That doesn't mean I want to see it happen to someone I care about," He says "Now will you, Please come to the office and let me help you. It's a five-minute procedure maybe less."

"Not on your life." I snapped taking my arm away and heading away from the market through the town park to try and get home but he stopped me and turned me to face him 

"Y/n! You're natural cures and herbal remedies do a lot I will not deny that, and you've helped so many people that I couldn't help, but they can't fix this why can't you understand that? I know you're stubborn, I know you don't trust me, I know you think I'm a butcher just after my money, but I can't bear to think of the pain you'll be in, it'll break my heart to see you die knowing I could so easily have prevented it," He explained, "I'm a doctor, you can't expect me to stand by and let you kill yourself." 

"You know I can't"

"Free of charge then. Because it's you." he says "Please, I promise I'll take care of you. I'll be gentle, and make sure the office and all my tools are clean just for you. Just let me take care of you, Please y/n" 

"And what if it goes wrong?"

"It won't-"

"But if it does?"

"then I'll never forgive myself." He says, "Please just let me help little one" He says stroking my stomach

"Fine" I sighed "But the office is to be cleaned from top to bottom, all your equipment is to be cleaned and sanitized, you are to be fast and gentle, and you are in charge of taking care of me until I'm better"

"I think that's agreeable" He nods 

"And you're the one getting up every time he cries in the night for the first three months"

"One week"

"two months"

"One month"

"Deal" 

"Good girl" He smiled kissing my forehead "Now you finish the shopping I'll see you back at the house and we'll take care of this alright?"

"Alright. Now go and clean that office or I am not letting you do anything" I warn "You are not touching me unless those hands are clean and there is nothing under your nails" 

"Yes darling" He rolled his eyes, and he gave my hand a kiss and then my stomach "You take care of little one, I'll see you later" He said heading back home. 

[robby-bobby-tommy]

Okay, I'm obsessed with the lore.... So here's some of me theories/stuff I've noticed. It's gonna be rambling in it's worst, cuz I'm way too excited.

Firstly, let's welcome Madagio! I don't know what's up with him, but here's some info we know:

- he's from some island who is connected to Quesadilla through some system.

- he can travel through servers.

- cats are his eyes and ears.

So with this out of the way, here's some of my thoughts.

- Body language -

Honestly, it's not something important, but I really love how cc! Fit uses body language to convey his character. q! Fit doesn't sprint much, cuz he knows one misjudged step, one unnoticed trap and he's dead. He looks around, afraid of every lighting, every strange noise. He looks at cats cuz how are they even here, if not every person can survive here?

Madagio himself very reserved. He doesn't move much, showing us a difference between him and Fit.

- Roses -

Boy oh boy, do I have something to say. Despite obvious connections to Pac, recently there was another moment with exactly this kind of roses. At Philza's stream on 29th of December, at one point Ramon came to Titan and started to give away these rose bushes to some eggs and Phil. It might be a stretch, but it was very strange. Ramon explained that he gave away the roses, cuz he saw one in Chayanne's arm. But with this added context, I think Ramon's admin kinda hinted at this rule. Like the rose bush is a symbol of connection and love/trust. Fit loves and trusts Pac, Ramon, Chay and Lullah, and Phil too. I might be insane, but I adore this kind of symbolism. The roses show us who he has connections to. And now we understand what's at stake for Fit.

It's not only Ramon, who's in danger. Phil, his kids and Pac (probs Tubbo and Sunny too, but they didn't get roses) are also in the middle of crossfire. Madagio knew that it's in human nature for us to connect and getting attached to others even if told otherwise. Contractor knew that Fit won't be able to cheat or escape the deal, cuz he knew the veteran will have a lot at stake. He made this contract unavoidable. I love it sm.

- Music -

Since my post about Fit and his tragedy, I believe that a lot of decisions made about videos/lore streams are intentional. Like, back in a day, when we saw first dream, we heard "Étranger au Paradise" ("Stranger in Paradise "). And this song like fits Fit (pun not intended) like a friggin glove. Cuz even still, Fit feels like a stranger, undeserving this the heaven that is Quesadilla island. For example literally today he said smt along the lines of "What did I do to deserve a son like him[Ramon]?". He loves people around him, yet he can't show it, when everyone does it quite easily. I think Stranger in Paradise can be seen also in light of relationships. Like Fit considers Pac better, he loves him, but doesn't deserve his love. Agh

So why am I saying this? Well, you see. Cc! Fit uses a few songs to use before cinematic. And today he used "We'll meet again". And there's no connection, right? But what if it's a hint to contractor? Fit'll have to meet Madagio. Veteran has no idea when or where. But he knows they'll meet again some sunny day. Like, mb it's a stretch, but I really enjoy finding this connections. To this point cc! Fit was very intentional, so mb I have something here.

- Mon Dieu éternel, je te prie -

(sorry for probably butchering it, but anyway)

Well, now I have the most unimpressive and obvious theory, that leads to more interesting one.

During this stream it wasn't confirmed that contractor is a god, but there are a lot of hints. His name being an anagram to "I am a God" (Thank you, Tumblr user, who noticed it), he can't be hury, but is able to travel through the servers, and his first words to Fit are literally a rephrased "be not afraid", that is usually connected to angels.

Also his unusual connection to cats, that are his "extensions" Doesn't seem humain at all. Yet it isn't confirmed so idk.

Now, Black Concrete is closely tied to Cucurevil and can have bad effect on a person. The only people, who interacted with it and weren't affected at all, were Fit and Philza. Why? What if it's because they're protected by Gods? Like, fitza have a lot parallels in their lore, and mb it also hints at devine nature of Madagio? Rose protects Phil and his close ones out of kindness (I guess) and sends birds to cheer up her protège or show her support. Madagio literally does the same thing. But he sends cats not to show support, but to remind that he is always there, he sees and hears everything. Does it prove my theory? No, I guess. But it gives smt to think about.

- End -

At the end we see Fit waking up (smt that we've never seen before) and sees a cat. They look each other in the eyes and veteran convulsively shakes his head, refusing to something implied. Now, I'll be honest, I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed, and I didn't really understand what he refused to? Was he saying he didn't need contractor's help? Idk. And this whole montage of moon, cat, and Madagio is very interesting, but I can't put my finger on it.

After browsing for a literal second, I have some ideas. Moon typically represents the rhythm of time, as it symbolizes the cycle. So maybe Contractor reminds Fit how little time he has. Like, time's running out. Cats, though, have a lot of different meanings, but I guess the most important to this case are freedom and mystery. Madagio is free and mysterious, so ig it fits.

- And just my thoughts ig -

God, i loved it so much. Fit's lore is subtle yet very important and interesting. It shows a character and builds on it so much, while explaining the world itself. Guuugh I love it so much.

And here's just some screens that shows how much Fit has grown.

He is no longer doing everything for himself only. Now he cares for others, breaking a simple rule made by contractor.

P. S.

I feel like this picture rn

[krewekreep]

How He Would Really Be (or) Baby Daddy Red Flags

I might also name this Baby Daddy Red Flags 😂😭 I don’t know

Actually this is gonna be a lil fun text post series that’s slightly fan fic but moreso a Drabble that’s acknowledges our collective delusion. It comes from a tumblr experience I had I’ll elaborate on and link later:

First Off: Alucard (Hellsing / Hellsing Ultimate)

He’s an OG baby daddy tbh (I’m black I know I’m using og wrong, it’s been butchered beyond redemption. Oh well. 😭) he’s truly part of my “damn this type is not good for me in real life.” (LMAOAOAO)

I love yall but alucard (hellsing) is so overtly and dangerously yandare (one of my main men so im not judging) but I am amused by coding to him to be “mean to everyone but me” if he in character grew that true of a bond with you. 1. You’re never going outside or out of his site like actually 2. You could do whatever you want INSIDE but like don’t try to leave 😭 3. You’re literally never gonna be independent again like fuck him just eavesdropping all the time he’s gonna be lurching over you so bad your back is to his chest every other step 😭

I can absolutely see him getting “mad” at you when his affection INEVITABLY gets overwhelming. I could see Alucard wanting to dress you, bathe you, and while it can seem hot that’s pretty…👀 he also would absolutely put you in a situation you think he won’t save you from but does. Likewise any public outing requires hand holding the entire time. Don’t worry he’s strong enough to maneuver you as he needs but I get annoyed when men just use their strength randomly with me 😭 not negative but like okay big boy wtf 😂

He’d throw you to the wolves and have you likely in some real ass traumatizing fake dangerous scenarios to save you and make you that much more dependent on him. This is literally Vlad the Impaler (for those who watched Ultimate, plus that form is genuinely so fucking hot omfg.) he lowkey did this to Sera mind you 😭 he literally will let Anderson scare the fuck out of you cause they’ll both have the hidden agenda of mutual amusement (like their literally bros if they stopped being intolerant of each other LMAOAOA)

That is a man of overreaction, self indulgence, self righteousness, and performance…have fun. 😀

Again…you think he gonna let you have any freedom? Your choices will be faux independent my loves. You’re his and I imagine (me @ 12 Jesus I needed another baptism) you likely wanna be his 😭 but yeah girl all men are burdens he’ll just be a really parental, controlling one. Plus he old as hell and will likely wanna lecture your young mortal ways like ew shut up grandpa. Only way out is linking up with Sera and Integra. Sera will sneak you out and have safe fun with and Integra will be sure to demand Alucard leave you both alone. You’ll be supported and protected but def link up with the girlies to keep him in check.

(This actually literally amuses me so much and feels very sex in the city for no reason lmaoo) + who else is actually gonna be the worst to be with? (Gojo, all tea all shade)

[the-ninjago-historian]

Ninjago Remastered Designs!

THEY'RE DONE! After months of work!!! They are DOOOOOOOOOOONE. WOOOOOOOOOOO! Lol! Welp, these are my Ninjago designs! Basically, this is my take on the Ninja if they were in a 2d animated cartoon! And yes! I will be drawing more characters. Tumblr butchered the quality, so close ups and design notes are below the cut. They're pretty detailed, so I highly recommend checking them out. Feel free to ask questions about the designs! ⬇️⬇️⬇️ - ✒️🐉

When designing these outfits, I tried to take inspiration from the ones in the show. And in terms of art style, drew inspiration from early 2000s cartoons, (Action Adventure ones specifically,) Anime inspired shows, and even a hint of traditional Disney animation. And while I designed them with a 2d cartoon in mind, most of the designs would most likely have to be simplified for them to be used in animation. So let's get started!

Kai: Kai was a pretty fun to work with. I actually didn't plan on giving him a sleeveless outfit. But it happened! And I like it! If you'll notice, the flame pattern on his vest mirrors the pattern on his sister Nya's outfit. I thought that would be a cool detail to include. It was inspired by their March of The Oni outfits. I also made sure to include his scar and bandaid. And gave him reddish brown eyes to signify his elemental power. Him and sister I imagine being Brazilian/Taiwanese. So I hope I captured their ethnicity properly. I'm pretty happy with this design. Especially his hair, which was hard to replicate.

Jay: Jay was a hard one for sure. I wasn't too sure how to vamp up his outfit. So I started by giving him some lightning patterns on his Gi. (At least I think that's what it's called?) And I decided to make it look a little baggy and soft. It just seemed to suit him. I tried something a little more form fitting and didn't look right. Also! A fun detail I included was his half the Yin Yang pendent around his neck! And of course Nya has her half. I imagine him having Irish ancestry, so I gave him pale, freckled skin. And gorgeous curly red hair. (As a fellow red head, I'm very proud.) Overall, I think he turned out pretty adorable. And his face is spot on.

Nya: Nya I pretty much got right on the first try! I just had a really clear vision of her in my head. I gave her a grey outfit with bright, vibrant blue details. The pattern on her Gi is inspired by Koi Scales. And she has her half of the Yin Yang pendent around her neck. I really like this one, because while it is simple, it's beautiful. And I think it reflects her element nicely. The only thing I missed was to give her a symbol like the rest. But overall, I love it! One more thing is that I wanted to give her and Pixal different hair. So when I finally release my Pixal design, you'll see that while they both have ponytails, I gave them different cut and styled ones. Should be neat!

Zane: Zane was the first one of the Ninjas I redesigned! I love how he turned out. I tried to give him a splintered ice effect on his outfit inspired by his Core minifigure and gave him his faithful falcon companion. Falcon has his old greyish purple feathers, but blue icy eyes to match his owner. I also wanted to give Zane flowing sleeves, that would look very majestic waving about in a blizzard wind. He is also incredibly tall. Taller than Cole even! I was inspired by the giant humanoid robots I'd seen in movies. In his cloaking disguise, I imagine him looking German. With blond hair, blue eyes, and light skin. I also like to think Dr Julian was German. (Was this influenced by my German ancestry? Who knows?)

Cole: You would not believe how many times I had to redraw this man's face. Haha! I just could find that sweet spot! That face that perfectly encapsulated his strong, but gentle personality. But I think I did it! His outfit is based on his Oni Trilogy Gi, with orange detailing. And he has his Island ponytail and bandana. I absolutely loved that hair style on him. So I had to use it! And if you'll notice, he has a beautiful tattoo on his right arm, with his symbol in the center. I imagine him being half Maori, from his mother's side. And the tattoo was inspired by Maori tattoos I saw pictures of. I'm not too sure how accurate those images were. But hopefully I hit the mark.

Lloyd: Finally! Our green Ninja Lloyd! His outfit was inspired by two things. Dragons, and his outfit from the Secrets of Forbidden Spinjitsu seasons. I gave him a beautiful golden dragon and cloud pattern on his clothes, a leather arm guard, and shoulder pads. If you look closer, you'll also see he has cat-like dragon eyes which pays homage to his dragon and Oni heritage. I like to think that depending on his emotions, his eyes will go from slits, to big and wide. So they are good indicators for his mood. I also imagine him being Japanese. But his powers give him his classic blond hair and green eyes. I'm very happy with this design. His hair, eyes, and face all look exactly how I see him in my head.

Well, that's all. I hope you enjoyed these designs and notes! I assure you, you will see more of the them.

Bye! - ✒️🐉

[khruschevshoe]

OFMD Critique: Jim & Olu, Screentime Quality & Quantity Issues, and Fandom Engagement

It is kind of insane to me that post-Season-1 of OFMD, the tags for Jim Jimenez and Oluwande Boodhari were almost as strong as the ones for Stede and Ed. Like, scrolling back on tumblr, I'm hit by the sheer amount of content posted for them. The fanart. The gifs. The meta. The sheer anticipation of what might come next for them.

(Now, this might just be because I first started looking at the fandom a year in, but I did my best to look at time stamps and how far things were spread out over time for them.)

Now, only a month and a half out from the finale...that flood has dried up to a trickle, if that. There is very little Jim/Olu content, or (more interesting in my own opinion, at least), very little content of them individually. There was plenty when the season was airing, but now? Not so much.

This is not to say that there is no content at all- I am an absolute fan of the fanfic writers, artists, meta-makers, and gifmakers who still contribute to the tag. The QUALITY is still great! It's the QUANTITY that fascinates me.

Because I think it comes back to both the lack of payoff for the rich character writing for these two post-Season 1 AND the butchering of what they did get.

If you read my past metas for these two characters, you'll find my critique of the fact that late-season Jim doesn't feel like Jim at all, and that Olu throughout ALL OF SEASON TWO doesn't feel like Olu, but rather like the writers dumbed him down into the "himbo" role on the show just to have the badass woman x himbo dynamic with him and Zheng Yi Sao (and I am an admitted lover of said dynamic, but not when you strip one of the few emotionally intelligent, clever, logical characters on the show of his intellect and jam him into the role rather than, idk, choosing one of the actual himbos on the show and putting him into that role...wait a second. The writers already HAD the himbo x badass dynamic with Spanish Jackie and the Stede. Is that literally the only way they could figure out how to write a F/M dynamic this season?).

Also, if you pull out all of the Jim/Olu pre-reunion build up (I see you, deleted scene in the Republic of Pirates where Pete and Olu get to pine after Lucius & Jim and talk about how desperate they are to get back to them), have their reunion be rather anticlimatic, and then don't let them have any real kissing/hugging/even emotional intimacy for the rest of the season...I can see why the tag has gotten to the point it has.

A cursory glance at the Blackbonnet/Gentlebeard tags shows that at least half of the tag is just writing fix-it fics for the season, but they are at least ENGAGING with canon because they were given a lot of material (some might argue too much material, as their screentime was often VERY overbalanced as opposed to the rest, and contrary to what some believe, Season 1 WAS an ensemble show, not just the Stede/Ed show) to work with and sort through. Jim and Olu were not given that in Season 2, and thus the amount of material that those in the tag got to pick through and use was either miniscule or felt OOC in nature. So the investment in the characters and ship has rather gone down, which is sad, because post Season 1 these two had my FAVORITE dynamic on the show.

What is the point of this meta? Idk, it's just a thing I've noticed and that has fascinated me. Watching this fandom from both inside and outside has led to noticing some rather interesting patterns/responses to writing that I thought someone else might be interested in.

[salty-croissants]

Tu sais je vais t’aimer ( Bullfrog x g/n reader )

It’s been a while since I made a story unrelated to requests … I just felt like doing something a little different since I recently noticed that we have reached 110 followers , which is just - 

Broo !! :,0

I really wanted to take the opportunity to thank you all so much for being so supportive of my little headcanons and stories for Bullfrog and Rayman , you’re all really amazing and kind and you’ve really made me feel like home here on Tumblr …

I may be a bit too busy and ( most of all ) shy to interact much with everyone , but I really do appreciate you guys … thank you so much , I mean it :,) ❤️

Now then , onto the actual story , I’ve recently stumbled upon this beautiful French song , and at some point a random inspiration for a Bullfrog fic hit me : 

what if the reader decided to surprise their beloved frog boy by singing him this song ? Maybe for a special occasion , like the one year anniversary of the relationship ? 

It just seemed too wholesome of a concept for me to let go , so I ended up writing this :,) 

I also added a translation in English for the lyrics , because it’s just so cute and it melted my heart when I read it ;//; 

Hope this turned out okay ! 

Details : use of g/n reader who likes to sing and can play piano ; 

established relationship ; 

no warnings needed 

It had been a very long , tiresome day for Bullfrog …

The last mission the Warden had assigned him and his companions had been filled with complications , and this could easily be guessed by his bruises and ripped clothes .

Even as someone who took pride in his job , he yearned for nothing more than to find a quiet place to rest … hopefully in the arms of his beloved .

He also hadn’t forgotten about what a special time this was , so before going back to you he had managed to pass by a flower shop and buy a bouquet of your favorite flowers : the thought of your smile in front of his gift was the one thing that was keeping him from dropping on the ground for sheer exhaustion .

< I’m back mon amour ! Sorry for being late , this was a much more difficult task than I anticipated … > 

Bullfrog stopped , slightly alarmed by the fact that you weren’t behind the door to greet him like usual :

you were always so happy to see him whenever he got back , so it was quite strange …

He closed the door as quietly as possible and begun to walk , attentive to every single sound to avoid anything sneaking by him .

If something had happened to you , he was more than ready to rescue you and defend you from any possible threat , exhausted or not …

But it was then that he heard it : someone was playing the piano in the living room , and when he finally reached it his eyes widened …

You were there , as beautiful as ever , and as soon as your eyes met you smiled softly at him and started to sing …

< Tu sais je vais t'aimer même sans ta présence 

( You know I'm going to love you even without your presence ) 

Je vais t'aimer même sans espérance 

( I will love you even without hope )

Je vais t'aimer tous les jours de ma vie 🎶 

( I will love you all the days of my life ) > 

Bullfrog wanted to say so many things in that very moment , and yet he was so overwhelmed by joy that he couldn’t bring himself to speak …

He just walked forward , sitting on a chair next to you while listening to the sound of your voice .

< Dans mes poèmes, je t'écrirai c'est toi que j'aime …

( In my poems I will write to you it is you that I love ) 

C'est toi que j'aimerai tous les jours de ma vie🎶 

( It's you that I would love all the days of my life ) > 

He looked up at you in awe , nodding his head to the beat , and as soon as the song ended and your hands left the piano you finally turned around once more to look at your boyfriend .

< Happy anniversary , love ~ 

God , you won’t believe how many months it took to learn how to pronounce everything correctly … buut , I just really wanted to do something special for you , you know ? I hope I didn’t butcher too many words … 

Also sorry for being so quiet before , I didn’t mean to scare you , but I wanted to surprise you and - > 

Worry immediately filled your eyes when you took a better look and noticed the bruises on his face , but Bullfrog shook his head , caressing your cheek with one hand …

< Don’t you think about that my dear , it’s nothing … besides , receiving something so beautiful from you as a gift was enough to make it all better . > 

He smiled at you tenderly , watching you leave a kiss on his palm .

< Thank you , y/n … je t'aime tellement … ~ > 

You let out a little chuckle , unable to stop your cheeks from turning red in front of his loving words …

< I love you too , Bullfrog … I’m really lucky to have you , you know ? > 

Before you could even realize it , the distance between your faces diminished more and more , until eventually your lips met into a much anticipated and needed kiss .

You closed your eyes , letting out a sigh while holding Bullfrog in your arms , and you could feel all the tension in his body instantly melt to your touch as he gladly leaned into it …

Eventually you both pulled away , staring into each other’s eyes and enjoying that precious moment of intimacy .

< We should probably get you patched up now , sweetie … those bruises look painful . > 

< Alright alright , but before that , here … > 

< *gasp* - you remembered my favorite flowers ! Thank you Bullfrog , these look beautiful ! > 

< Don’t mention it mon cher , it’s not quite as good as your gift , but … > 

< Are you kidding ? I love them ! We should put them in some water before they start wilting … > 

As the two of you carried on with your conversations , glad to finally be together , the sun started to disappear behind the tall skyscrapers of the city … some of the nightly neon lights were already starting to illuminate the crowded streets .

It had certainly been a one year anniversary to remember .

[bisexualhomelander]

Sunflower - Butchlander or Billy

@pochiperpe90. This is your ask. Tumblr deleted it before I had a chance to reply. I am so sorry lmao So I just re-sent it to myself on anon.

sunflower; adoration

"How about, maybe, you stay still and let me do this, hn?"

The petulant huff Billy gets in response earns Homelander another drag of Billy's beard against his inner thigh. At this point (three consecutive orgasms Billy has sucked out of him in), the supe does little more than keen in discomfort.

"Chrissakes, you're bulletproof."

One look at the clock on the nightstand (gold, fuck off) confirms he's spent the better part of an hour between Homelander's legs. His jaw started aching twenty minutes ago, but Billy Butcher does not half-ass anything.

Homelander tiredly beckons him closer. He makes sure to drag his beard over a nipple on his way there just to feel the supe's entire body jerk.

"How come they made you have a weakness like this, luv?"

Homelander ignores him in favour of touching his face. "I like your beard."

Billy turns over. He sighs at the sight of Homelander's Americana history museum mirror cabinet nightmare room with no doors to speak of (and Ashley Barrett coming in every single day at 9AM sharp - weekends, too).

He does not sigh at Homelander nuzzling into him, bringing their bodies together because one minute without direct contact is apparently unbearable. "I'm happy," Homelander mutters into his chest.

Billy wraps an arm around him, starts trailing fingers up and down Homelander's bare shoulder, and looks up at the ceiling to see that reflected like some Renaissance fresco. At least Billy's cock is bigger than those of the naked blokes Michelangelo painted.

There are many things Homelander does not say, but Billy understands: 'I'm happy you're here (in this room that everyone is scared of) with me (who everyone is scared of).'

Billy disentangles himself from arms that falsely feel too weak to hold onto him and ignores the little noise of dismay as Homelander is forced to slide back under the blanket for warmth his inhuman body doesn't need. He stumbles into the bathroom because soon, the morning sun would make him come to terms with things again, and he'd at least like to have finished showering and drinking sweetened coffee from the vending machine in the Vought Tower lobby by then.

The thing about obsession is that you start putting up with discomfort (shabby New York apartments on the hunt and gilded portraits of presidents past) to get what you want (his death, his death, and those little keens).

[restesdelune]

*A Richonne Content Rant*

> Comin' Soon on Restes de Lune ?

Hi TWD fam, Richonners, gals, guys and theys

I've been editing like crazy but the youtube algorithm won't let me post my 20min edit of HRWB #3 - Next World Lovin' (A day in the life of Rick Grimes) without butchering my work. Looks like I won't be able to finish this series with a bang like I hoped.

So here's a load of stills to give you an idea since for now, all my hours on it just went down the drain. I still want to share something though, as I know others are just like me :) Maybe I'll share snippets, bits by bits... :(

Here's the first part

Idk, looks sexy and funny to me! ^^

I still don't understand why so many channels can host whole scenes of the show online, HD scene packs and longer edits and seem unbothered (good for them!) but I can't ?

Whyyy Ô Whyyy ?

My Richonne rabbit hole originally started with an Ultimate Edit From the prison to Alexandria. It was right after watching The Ones Who Live as it was released and I needed to go back and re-experience Richonne all over again. Unfortunately, it was too long of an edit and my hardware could not keep up...

That's when I took on smaller endeavours, exploring the origins of Richonne further from behind the scenes. I love listening to Danai talking about her work. So many actors tend to respond quite superficially to questions about their characters, Danai has such a profound understanding of Michonne, it shows both on and off screen and I'm here for all of it.

Then, I've explored more behind the scenes with Andrew and Danai's chemistry, and how it showed and still shows up on screen years later, and have many of us hooked, locked in a love chokehold everytime we see Rick and Michonne gazing into each others' eyes. That's how HRWB #2 came to become Dandy On Set and Off.

Yes, I'm fluffy like that and have no shame about it :)

Anyway...

I'll still try to edit further HRWB#3 and share it with you what I can, but I need to cut back my Richonne hours and find new ways to engage with the fandom if I can't find a better solution.

My series How Richonne Was Born was supposedly a lighter prelude to the deeper and more interesting work I want to share (see The Ones Who Love Live On teaser). Might take a while though, as I work too slow for the algo, so don't hesitate to sub to check me out here, on youtube and twitter to follow the work.

And yes, I'm gonna get even fluffier with these ones, and a lot more political too. Fingers crossed!

I still plan to share everything I wrote (essays and fanfic), it will only take yet a lot more time and creativity. Maybe I should just forget video and do a podcast? Just brainstorming in the tumblr open...

If you're into any of it let me know, feedbacks and advice are welcome! I may have started this on a whim but I found people along the way, and it's always easier when we're not alone and have support, right?

My posts about

"The Last Grimes"

The Michonne effect

Mother Michonne

**** See You around and Happy Shipping ****

[newlifeau-askblog]

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Woe! It's masterpost time

‼️‼️🗣️🗣️

I'll either link this to the top post or pin this as a top post instead

Either way, lemme introduce all the sillies‼️‼️

[Click on the picture to see more clearly! We do be hating Tumblr mobile's quality butchering </3]

I was thinking about putting the whole lore under a cut but y'know what I'll let the lore unfold through asks and give brief infos here instead *rubs my hands together like a cartoon villain*

[From left to right]

Glitch is an OC of mine, they're an entity similar to Kinito that, instead of pursuing the role of a computer assistant, decided to just take over the computer itself, becoming part of it. You could say they are the personification of the computer in some way. It used to be my main sona, in fact, its full name is still Mike.EXE, or just .EXE, it just doesn't use it anymore since it became an entity of its own

Aspen is my sona, me literally fr fr (/hj). He is quite much just a digital avatar for the user (aka my self) to teleport inside the computer and run around without going through any dangers such as incompatibility with the main code (which could lead to said user's death)

Kinito is sentient in this AU and, no shit Sherlock, has gotten through an epiphany. Finding out about the "friends" he's trapped and accidentally killed (incompatibility of their souls/consciousness not being properly fused with the code and therefore self destructing), how he became a malware, how he's not the only Kinito existing etc etc. He's trying his best to repair what he's messed up, building a new WebWorld for everyone

Glitch, Aspen and Kinito are in a poly relationship,,, because,, because I say so,, (I'm a selfshipper I'm being very self indulgent here) /silly

Jade is one of Kinito's victims, she doesn't remember her real name nor does Kinito, so she's just accepted Jade as her new name. She is technically "friends" with everybody but is very petty towards them, especially Kinito, and easily loses her temper. However she's still trying to out in the effort to soften up a little

"Sam" is Sonny Chamberlain in this AU, aka Kinito's creator/father. He encoded himself into Sam in an attempt to survive and monitor Kinito to (initially) find a way to destroy him once and for all. He is the one that saved one of the victims' soul/consciousness from self destructing by encoding it into Jade. He's in good terms with everyone and actively tries to help Jade work through her remorse towards him and, more specifically, Kinito