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m4yasnotthatcool · 10 months ago

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S1!SAM WINCHESTER X F!READER♥︎

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warnings: just fluff guys istg(thats it i think) (if u find anything else you think should be put as a warning pls tell me dawg); its written in all lower case as a stylistic choice; also reader is shorter than sam;

breif descripiton of contents: okay so *kicking my feet in the air and wearing sunglasses so people dont see what im looking at * (its sam edits that use the clip of him from s1 where we get a tummy peak) (yum) GIRL. imagine this (no its not a 2014 1d imagine, calm yourself down princess and get off of your knees suckers) youre sitting on his lap, one of his hands pressed flat against your lower abdomen, fingers lightly grazing the skin underneath your (actually his) shirt. his voice soft as hes reading to you from one of his mistery books, his back hunched over as hes resting his chin on your shoulder as his bangs lightly tickle the side of your face that they rest upon.

now that wasn't very breif, was it?- anywayyssssss

relationship not established but it's very obvious you guys are head over heels for eachother dont play w me rn;

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(a/n) guys, this is more self indulgent more than anything if im being honest. i just wanted some feel good with my boy sammy wuth his painted puppy dog eyes and his cute boyish smile AGHHH i love him sm; anyway, enjoy :))) (or dont, idc) (if you tell me you dont like it im hoing to commit sewer slide)

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with dean away to "run some errands", the cheap motel room was left solely to you and your best friend, sam. the both of you had ordered take out a couple of hours ago, the now empty boxes littering the tiny desk provided in the room.

after the two of you ate, you guys decided to watch some tv. the only problem? the shitty little tv didnt work. so what did you do? what brilliant sollution did the two of you come up with?

"ugh why is it not working!" you say frustrated as you punch the top of the tube tv. "well thats not surprising i guess, i mean look at the thing..." With one of his numerous books in one hand and his other arm resting its elbow on his knee to support his head, Sam murmurs to himself as he sits cross-legged on the bed the two of you have grown accustomed to sharing.

"wow, you, sammy my boy, are completely destroyed by these news, arent you?" he feels his cheeks warm up ever so slightly at the use of the nickname, before tryibg ti regain his composure by responding with a snarky comment of his own "yes, mortified" he said as he reached to turn the page of hie book, but stopping for a second when his fingers reached the page. instead of turning to a new page, he neatly folded the corner of the pice of paper before closing the book. "i can land you one of my books if you wanna read anything" he said, reaching for the small stavk of the few books he had brought with him on the hunting trip, but you stopped him before he got to it. "nah im good, but thanks" you said giving him a warm smile. "oh, okay, but what are you going to do? go to bed or something?" "mmmm... you know what, i think i will." you paused as you lowered yourself right next to him, covering your lower half with a comforter the two of you found in the closet when you first entered the room. you closed your eyes, trying to drift off to sleep, but nothibg seemed to work. you shuffled and shuffled, shifting your position every 2 minutes or so. after about 20 minutes that to you felt like 20 hours, sam spoke: "do you need a bedtime story now or what?" he said and you could hear his signature boyish smirk in his tone. it was obviously supposed to be taken as a joke, but much to his surprise you said "yes, that would be awsome actually" you reached your hand blindly as your eyes were still closed and you tapped sams knee "okay you can start now".

and he did. while his voice alone didnt help you fall asleep, it at keast calmed you quite a bit to say the least. you previous shifting in search for the perfect position to sleep in had been long forgotten as sam read to you. sometimes he would pause to explain certain paragraphs before moving on to reading from the book once again, but if you were being honest you were not sure when the reading woult resign and the comments regarding the events of the book would flod your senses, but you didnt mind.

after some time, he asked you in a shushed tone if you fell asleep, seeing as your breathing had stabilized and softened. on the contrary tough, you were very much awake, so you responded to his question mocking tone he used. "yea, im very much asleep right now, thank you for asking" .

he smiled as he lightly smacked your shoulderblade. you scoffed in fake annoyance as you rolled out of bed, heading for the fridge to get some cold water out.

opening the fridge door you asked him "you want some water too?"

"no, im good. but thanks tough!" he flashed you a quick smile.

getting the bottle out, you returned to your side of the bed before opening the water. what you didnt know was that it was sparkling water, and it exploded all ober you and your side of the bed when you tried to take a drink.

sam couldnt control himself, so the first thing your now wet self heard was him snorting, trying not to full on laugh.

you sighed loudly before closing the remaining contents of the bottle and sitting back up. "ugh, oh shit" you said as you glanced at the sheets on your side of the bed. "im sorry, fuck" "yea, yea, its fine, dont worru about it" he said tough his mind focused on something far more important: your now wet shirt clinging to your body, showning off the shape he had came to love so much but could only feel whenever the two of you hugged.

he quietly observed you desperetly look for something, until, he realized what he was doing, so he shamefully looked away, all of a sudden being very interested in the color of the walls surrounding the two of you.

"sam, have you seen my stuff?" "huh? oh... yea, i think its in the car. do you want me to go get it for you?" he asked you, forgeting for a moment his brothers usual antics of taking the car and speeding off intro the night. "but didn't dean take it?-" "oh shit you're right..." he mumbled, sitting (his goofy ahh) back down. "what did you need?" he asked you grabbing his duffle bag to look for something to substitute your missing item. "a dry shirt I guess, my shorts aren't that wet" you said signaling to the wetness of the long sleeve top you were wearing in comparison to the slight dampness of your pajama bottoms. he gave you a quick nod before briefly looking for something to give you. he landed on his purple t shirt that had an also freakishly purple dog printed on it which you accepted gratefully.

you left the room for a minute, going to the bathroom where you changed your top.

the way his clothes swallowed you was just another reminder of the already obvious size difference between the two of you, the shirt almost covering your shorts entirely with how long it was on you. you sighed in content as you walked out, wet shirt in hand as you reach one of the two chairs by the desk. you used it to hang the pice of clothing up to dry before sitting on the other chair.

sam raised a curious eyebrow at you before asking "what do you think you're doing?" you looked at him confused before he patted the bed, motioning for you to come sit with him. "sam, my side is like, soaking wet right now. I gotta wait for it to dry."

"who said anything about your side of the bed? come on we can share mine." His eyes met yours expectantly and he smiled kindly. you slowly got up and sat next to him, trying to take up as little space as you possibly could, to which sam grabbed your arm and pulled you to stay on top of him instead of on the almost non existent space left.

your breath hitched the second your head came in contact with his chest, one of his arms holding you in place as the other one still held the book he had been reading to you earlier. "you wanna read it with me or do you want me to read it to you?" "or, a 3rd option would be you shut up" you smiled into his chest. God, why does he have to smell so good? you asked yourself before realising what had just ran trough your head. "but, I guess the first option sounds good." unscebted soap and woods, thats the best way to describe the way he smelled at that moment. a warm woody musk leading you into him to explore his warmth. and with that his grip on your waist loosens, letting you turn around but not fully allowing you to escape his grasp.

His hand was flat on your lower abdomen, playing ever so slightly with the tie of your shorts, which you had tied into a loose bow, as you turned to face the book. his head rested on your left shoulder, his bangs touching your face, tickling you slightly making you giggle under your breath. his periodic breath fanned on your shoulder, and his body emitting such comfortable warmth, you could feel yourself finally getting tired. your body relaxed against his own, something he welcomed quickly, letting you rest your head on his chest and you finally drifted off to sleep.

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(a/n) guys I'm deeply aware this is bad asf and idek why I still posted it tbh

anyway, I'm sorry it's so short

It's the 2nd oneshot I wrote after almost a year of giving up (and even then I had like 2 disc posted to my name) so please excuse how shitty it was

Anyway, lly byeeee

#fanfiction #x reader #supernatural #sam winchester #sammy winchester #fluff

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ashmp3 · 4 months ago

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teo who have been your fashion it girls in terms of style etc. either past or present

omg i have been thinking about this ask the whole day and night i am so excited to dive in because well... we are gonna dive in. its teo ashmp3 reporting for duty hello its only right! ALSO THANKS FOR ASKING!!!! and that picture... i need him to sleep in my ribcage.

well okay we have to start from the Beginning which means -> my beautiful mommy. she was thee it girl the kind that takes a train from her tiny city in east serbia straight to Belgrade so she can go on a shopping spree... see i take it after her. but okay after my mom come bratz dolls. And rihanna. and fashion magazines... we are in the early 00s i am in primary school and i read OK! and Bravo religiously LMFAO i have a crush on rihanna and nicole scherzinger and lil wayne and im living my life. Oh did i mention i made moodboards bc i also wanted to see if there is any method to the madness and i think there is but u be the judge. anyway all of the bratz dolls i put i had LMFAO i also had a cameron doll and he had baggy cargo military-ish pants and u can bet i made my dad buy me the same ones so i really was Inspired. Also i just put early 00s baddies that were very popular vibe in serbia - bleached straight hair (or BLACK pitch black) with thick extensions, gem teeth, fur jackets, orange foundation. i wanted to be them so bad... but alas i was 9.

next we go into my teenage years which means two things -> fashion bloggers (peep tamara kalinić if u can because i followed her when she looked like that LMFAO. her and zorannah shaped me) meaning zoella and the ginger girl and many many more i cant find. The girl with wings and black dress is a croatian baddie i followed on ask.fm and i had a raging crush on her like a lunatic LMFAO i still remember her being pisces with libra rising. anyway i wanted to be like her saur bad she was so fine to me. Next, we are entering 2013/2014 territory so of course effy, ahs (s1 and coven), chloe sevigny, courtney love, models off duty fits (especially chanel iman, rosie, sasha etc etc), taylor momsen and alexa were my SHIT. and tbh i did dress like this 100% so i will say very accurate 15yo teo fit slash vibe🧘🏼‍♀️ a bit grungy very much a tumblr girl (i did have one even back then but i deleted it in 2015 hehehe)

And now i cant even tell except i have always been into fashion, and i used to be very experimental so i know what suits me and makes me feel the best. I am very tame now compared to before and much more classic and covered lol but i feel like i can style my clothes in a fun and interesting way even though it might not seem that at the first glance. I put some 90s models i get inspired by, olsen twins ofc and i always loved jane birkin a lot especially in the summer.

For the end i put some people that i didnt know where to squeeze in and they are kind of their own personal category. Even back in 2015 i used to love krystal and her fashion always spoke to me. Rosie is my girl and whatever she wears i 1. do to 2. she inspires me to try if i havent already. i remember the first time i saw sarah linh-tran and it changed my life i am not joking. i used to dress more like her when i was at uni. i always liked carolyn bassette and i always loved bella hadid and her fashion... i even put a picture (venice one) i had as a lockscreen for ages. i had like 3 in rotation of her in my lifetime like its serious LMFAO

#anyway i hope this made sense i feel like it kind of did. hehehehe #grace 💎

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dear-ao3 · 1 year ago

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and welcome back to the off week. i really thought that i could get away with no update this week, but alas. contracts have been signed and ice cream has been made. dogs have appeared and red bull marketing continues to be, well, red bull marketing. so today is april 14, 2024 and lets just dive right in head first to the most bemusing smattering of information that is on this post

were covering a few things this update, each more perplexing than the last:

-landos continued dedication to the bit -charles leclerc (as an entity) -fernando alonsos cryptic way of speaking -carlos sainz tempting the devil (among others) -the bonkers social media highlights of the week -brocedes

so lets just get lando out of the way. back on the government mandated mclaren update. first, he was on the forbes 30 under 30 europe list for sports and games. now that im writing this, im not sure lando actually acknowledged this at all? it might have just been the mclaren ig acc. also his ln4 official account called him pookie. not once but twice. who is running this account. we need need answers.

he also stared directly into a camera not once but twice:

yeah man. idk either.

and lastly, if you remember last week lando ran into alex's grandma at the airport. alex albon posted photos of her at the end of the race weekend with a signed lando norris cap and the caption "left suzuka with some souvenirs...well grandma did"

moving on from that. mr leclerc. the miserable soup can. tho this week he was not miserable at all. i know! i was surprised too!

first! we have the tiny mystery dog:

his name is leo leclerc. in pretty much every photo of him charles is holding him like a tiny purse or perhaps the way sharpay evans would hold boi in high school musical. and many, many people were keen to point out that not only! can he be friends with lewis hamilton's dog roscoe next year, but also, he seems to have taken a page out of lewis hamiltons book in getting a dog and naming it after his biggest rival (roscoes name is quite close to nico rosberg and leo pretty much means lion which is max's nickname) (in case you dont know who nico rosberg is, worry not we will get to him at the end of this post)

and then, more interestingly, we have the launch of lec. charles's ice cream. and let me tell you, if anyone could have managed to look miserable while eating ice cream, it would have been charles, but alas he did not. there is life in his eyes this week!

tho he did say a few things that made me and others fear for his mental state, including comparing ice cream flavors to ferrari potential:

and oh yeah did i mention the flavor names are insane??

vanillove. salty carammmmel. peanut caramel tango. swirly pistachi-oh! and chocolate crunch.

and, as we know, charles and lewis will be teammates next year. lewis is vegan (and has an interesting affinity with vanilla ice cream but well get to that later) and charles had this to say when asked about making a vegan flavor for lewis:

"we were talking about it the last time on the track! he has this new alma project of his, which is very nice because he has developed a new soft drink, while i have ice cream. so surely, one day, when he arrives at ferrari, we will celebrate with my ice cream and his drink."

he was also asked by the italian press "to verstappen, what can we offer to him? chamomile ice cream to calm him down a little bit?" and charles said this in response:

"no, we have a good relationship. what im interested in is beating him on the track to start with, and that's what we're working on. i'll also give him the flavor he likes and then we'll try to beat him on the track."

which is all kinds of unhinged. especially coming from the same week that he got a dog and basically named it after max. (they still dont follow eachother on ig lets remember)

it was also pointed out by a few people, mainly on this tumblr post, that this had the same but also opposite energy as lewis saying this back in 2014 about if he remembered the first time he met nico rosberg: "I remember the first time I looked at girls. I remember when I met my girlfriend, the first time I had sex... But I never actually think about the first time I met Nico. I don't remember things like that." which is just. what a thing to say. anyway, we will get to brocedes later on this post and this will all make sense. or perhaps it wont. brocedes is an enigma.

now you might be wondering Why an f1 driver would make ice cream, given the fact that they adhere to pretty strict diets due to the weight restrictions on the cars and all that. well, aparently, that was the very reason why charles decided to make the ice cream in the first place:

"as a professional athlete it is crucial for me to maintain a healthy lifestyle where my performance is strongly linked to commitment, training and fitness. this, however does not prevent me from indulging in some small little forbidden pleasure, particularly that of a food i love."

which is to say, he definitely made his own ice cream brand (which has like protein and less calories in it or something) so that he can eat a whole pint of ice cream after he gets fucked over by the ferrari strategy once again.

and how does it taste? couldn't tell you, its only in italy and i live in the us. so if someone wants to teleport me ice cream i would be unbelievably pleased.

another driver was also hungry this week, but not hungry for ice cream, sweet treats or even food (well perhaps food. you do kind of need that to live), nay he was hungry for a contract renewal.

can you guess who it is?

if you guessed logan sargeant...well you would be incredibly incorrect.

but if you guessed fernando alonso, you would be right!

he extended his contract at aston martin. we dont know exactly how long it is, but it is multi year, meaning that he will be at aston until at least 2026. the aston martin team announced it in the funniest way they possibly could.

fernando also said This about the contract extension, which is intriguing and amusing:

"This is the longest contract I ever signed in my career. Something that will keep me linked with Aston Martin for many years to come.”

which leads many people to think that after hes done racing for them hes going to stay on as an engineer or a coach or an advisor or something else. which would be silly and goofy and evil of him as usual.

also on the contract hunt is one carlos sainz jr.

as we know, he was supposedly offered a contract at audi (currently stake) for 2025, but! he was also reportedly offered a mercedes contract!

this may come as a shock to many people because 1. mercedes pretty distinctly said that they hadn't been talking to carlos, 2. kimi antonelli is set to test driver a merc f1 car this week and 3. toto said last week (more or less) *cue austrian accent* "well you know the driver market is very fluid and we do not want to rush into any decisions blah blah blah"

reportedly though, carlos has not signed it because of the terms of it.

the contract that he was offered is a 1+1 contact, meaning that he is signed for one year with the opportunity to resign for a second year if hes doing well. he wants to be on the same contract at george russell, who has a 2+1 contract.

merc is probably doing this because they want to keep their options open for 2026. the options being signing kimi antonelli. who they really, really dont want to lose to another team (red bull).

also in terms of contract news, aparently red bull are reportedly considering re signing checo for 2025. this is rumored to be a 2 year contract. but he has to keep performing to the level that he is now. and historically, checo starts the season well and then it goes downhill.

and lastly, apparently yuki is reportedly on audis short list if carlos goes elsewhere

which takes us to an update on the open seats:

red bull: 1 mercedes: 1 ferrari: 0 mclaren: 0 aston martin: 0 alpine: 2 haas: 2 williams: 1 stake: 2 vcarb: 2

and now for the highlight of this post, the social media nonsense:

starting with the red bull marketing team making liam lawson read this script for a video:

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A post shared by Oracle Red Bull Racing (@redbullracing)

instagram

the general comments were "now he understands why checo and max dont like the marketing team"

also going off the rails this week was williams who posted this:

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instagram

alpine posted these two photos for pet day:

mercedes posted these photos of george, lewis and a child from the japan weekend:

max verstappen said this last weekend about f1 academy:

“There are girls, but much fewer than boys. For example, our team now only has boys riding. But if there is a fast girl among us, then of course we want her too. That's just how it is in the real world, isn't it? Team bosses don't look at whether someone is a boy or a girl. It's about how fast they are. It is good that Formula 1 now pays extra attention to women in motorsport with the F1 Academy, although I have doubts about how they approach it. The cars they drive are way too slow. If you ever want to get them into Formula 1, it really has to go to a higher level. It's nice and nice that girls are now sponsored by Formula 1 teams, but what do we actually help them with? There is no next step for them now. For example, the gap to a Formula 4 car is already too big.”

george russell is back on his shirtless (and toes out?) instagram pictures kick:

sir lewis hamilton won a gq global creativity award, where he was named and honors as a "f1 transcending powerhouse" and he also absolutely slayed the outfit game as per usual

zhou posted more content of his cat sweet corn

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A post shared by 玉米粒 SweetCorn (@ymlzhou.jpg)

instagram

and there was other stuff (carlos continues to seemingly bike across all of europe as does valtteri, logan and alex went golfing, several drivers went to the monaco tennis finals something or other etc etc) but thats the most important highlights

and so. without any further ado. a (very very abridged version) of the blood feud between sir lewis hamilton and nico rosberg

but before we get there, in case youre thinking to yourself, wow saph, your writing is so interesting and compelling! how do you do it! the answer is that i might not have a college degree in shitposting, but i do have a college degree in both history and writing, which together is a deathly combo that i wield like a very very dull double edged sword. in any case, should any of you want to read a more full length and in depth version of this feud, i am writing it out a la insane academic paper with the help of a few friends. why isn't the full version on this post? well this post is already too long and were barely at race 5 of 24 plus this is about the 2024 season and this drama is more than 10 years old. also, i did very very fully intend to have the insane brocedes lore post done before i updated this, but that is not physically possible so for now you will have to deal with this short version. and when i finish it, i will post it and link it here on this post for your viewing pleasure.

regardless. the blood feud.

was any real blood spilled? i have no idea. but nico rosberg did end up under a sink at one point in a hotel room in japan. thats neither here nor there tho and we dont know any more than that other than that it happened.

the feud is called a few things. the brocedes civil war. the silver war. the hamilton rosberg rivalry. any way you spin it, its about lewis and nico. and who might these two be? well im glad you asked:

we are already familiar with sir lewis hamilton:

8 7 time world champion, knighted by the queen of england, mercedes driver, owner of one dog named roscoe, enjoys surfing, fights for equal rights, all around good guy

and our other player, nico rosberg, who i have mentioned a few times:

1 time world champion, ex formula 1 driver for williams and mercedes. from germany but lives in Monaco, essentially a YouTuber, married with two daughters, now a sky sports presenter, was called brittney by the other drivers back in the day because of his hair.

tho this is Current Cool and (mostly) Chilled Out lewis and nico. which is. not the lewis and nico were talking about. nuh uh. at the time of these tales, these two were general pr nightmares and teammates at mercedes. lewis was not yet knighted. they were not nearly as reserved or chilled out At All. and over the course over the four years they were teammates at merc they managed to go from this:

to this:

(yes that is nico throwing his p2 hat at lewis i think this was in 2015 after lewis had just won the championship again. and it wasnt a friendly little toss toss. he wailed it across the room)

and these two. as you might have guessed. good freaking lord. theyre something.

so. we've talked about rivalries. we've briefly touched on charles and max, and lewis and seb, and we've talked about friendships like carlos and lando. lewis and nico put all of them to shame.

again, i will go deeper than this on the other post that is not done yet, but heres what you need to know to understand this season:

-as i said, these two used to be teammates, first in karting when they were kids and then again years later when they both finally made it to f1 at mercedes.

-because they were childhood friends, the lore here runs very very deep. both have said some of the best times in their lives were when they were teenagers trashing hotel rooms, wrestling and eating pizza and vanilla ice cream and kelloggs frosties late at night between karting races

-they were pretty unlikely friends. lewis grew up pretty poor and his dad worked 4 jobs to support his karting, he was bullied and dealt with a lot of racism. nico grew up wealthy as the son of an f1 world champion. both of them were different than the other karting kids (in opposite ways) and this is probably what drew them together

-they were teammates at merc from 2013-2016. this coincided with Peak Merc Dominance (beginning in 2014) and it was man against man from 2014-2016 as they both tried to beat the other in the championship. ultimately, this is what caused their friendship to deteriorate because they both became transfixed on beating eachother. after rosberg wrecked lewis's monaco race in 2014 lewis said that they were no longer friends, and there was also the scene where rosberg THREW his p2 hat at hamilton in the cool down room in texas in 2015 (pictured above), among many many other things (not counting all the times they crashed into eachother) (perhaps on purpose, perhaps not)

-lewis won the championship in 2014 and 2015 and basically, nico refused to be a second driver to lewis and wanted to beat him, he came very close in 2015 and then sacrificed literally everything (as in. stopped sleeping in the same bed as his own wife levels of sacrificing everything) in 2016 to beat him and win the world championship. including his friendship with lewis. he says that this was because winning the championship was his childhood dream. (his dad was also an f1 driver and had won the world championship).

-the championship in 2016 came down to the last race in abu dhabi, and reportedly nico was so nervous beforehand that he couldn't eat anything beforehand except for kellogg frosties, the very same cereal that he and lewis would eat straight out of the box as teens, but now they were hardly on speaking terms and he was battling him for the championship. they were playing all kinds of mind games with eachother at this point. this was the era of f1 where yeah you knew merc would probably win the race but you tuned in to see if nico and lewis would kill eachother on track. nico ended up winning the race and the championship and announced his retirement from the sport a few days later at the fia prize giving ceremony

-since then, lewis basically refuses to say nicos name and is generally awkward about the whole thing, but he and nico reportedly live in the same apartment building in monaco and lewis gets nicos daughters presents at christmas. nico pretty much looks murderous any time anyone suggests that lewis has lost his touch with racing or with the car and has said that in his heart lewis is still his best friend.

-lewis chilled the fuck out after this, complete 180 style. started being a pr dream, stopped calling out other drivers for not following him on twitter, doing activism, all of the good stuff we know him for now. theres one really heartbreaking interview in 2021 where they ask him if hes a better driver than he was in 2016 and he says "yes. and a better teammate."

-why is this important? well. nico as i said is a sky sports presenter and he is going to be at the chinese gp next week. also, you lot have been asking me to talk about them and simply there was no other place to put this.

-also, this has been lewis's worst start to an f1 season in his whole career (18 years). this is the first time that he hasn't had a top 5 finish in the first 4 races. yes, he has already signed with ferrari, but people are still wondering if hes lost his touch with the car, or if the car just kinda sucks. and i think nico is going to shoot some absolutely firey looks over this.

-also theres probably going to be a decent amount of talk about mercedes at the china gp because of all the contract talk going on around mercedes right now, so good to at least be somewhat familiar with the merc lore

and speaking of china! again! i remind you all! i am not watching the chinese gp live because i am being smited by my work schedule! the update will be late! but it will come! trust me! its also going to be an absolutely bonkers weekend! i know i say that every weekend but!! im feeling it in my baby seal boots this time!! does anyone even read this far on the post!! idk anymore!!!!

reguardless, thank you all for watching me loose my mind once again, ill see you all at some point next week :)

Sorry i tried to scroll past but, i know nothing about f1 other than max verstappen is fast, my dad doesnt like lewis hamilton, fast car goes in a loop and sometimes expodes. Could you give me a crash course in f1 drama? Im very intrigued. Whats the tea as it were?

a terribly loaded question, but i will do my best. i’ve talked about some of the drama before like the red bull second seat and the chronicles of haas but allow me to briefly try my hand at explaining the nightmare that is the upcoming silly season

under the cut we go

silly season is when the drivers go through contract renewals, extensions and switches. usually it’s confined to the first half of the season (march-july) but it has been known to extend all the way to the last race of the season and they like to switch people around at random sometimes. driver contracts are complex, there’s a lot of money involved and basically You Are The Face Of The Team so if you have a shit season then you make the team look bad. but at the same time you could have a shit season because you have a shit car. it’s sticky stuff.

so. there are only twenty seats in formula 1. 10 teams. each team gets two drivers. (there’s also reserve drivers but we’re not going to get into that). who ends up with a contract is largely up to the teams, they can pull the contract out from under people they can also cut you mid season. they’ve done it before.

of the 20 drivers on the grid, 14 of them have contracts expiring at the end of the year. yes. 14. you see how this could get complicated.

so let’s meet the teams.

red bull racing. they came first this year (and last year) in the championship. like aggressively first. like they won the championship by over 350 points. they are definitely the team to beat. but if you end up with a seat at red bull, you do have to deal with max verstappen being your teammate and he won all but three of the races last year. he’s the golden boy. red bull are also notoriously silly when it comes to contracts and famously swap people mid season who aren’t performing.

mercedes. merc is home to 7 time world champion lewis hamilton and they have won the championship a great many times, though not since 2021. they are kind of in their flop arc and their car the last 2 years has been pretty garbage, but they have still made it work because they were able to come in second last year.

ferrari. god help the poor little meow meows with a ferrari contract. ferrari is a notoriously great team and they’re trying to get back to the top again but their strategy every single time has fallen short. to the point where their drivers are the ones doing the strategy in their cars while driving. they came in third last year and have been decently consistent at getting first in qualifying and then getting beat by max verstappen on race day.

mclaren. they’ve definitely worked their way up over recent years. they ended fourth last year and have had some championship wins before but not nearly as many as say merc and ferrari. their team ceo (owner? director?) is a little interesting and their car started out a pile of flaming hot garbage at the beginning of the year but they did manage to get their shit together.

aston martin. they are owned by canadian billionaire lawrence stroll, father of lance stroll (one of the drivers for the team). they’ve undergone several name changes over the recent years (force india, racing point, etc). they positively slayed at the start of the season and then one day they sucked. they finished fifth in the championship.

alpine. the frenchest french team. they’re (i think?) still partially owned by the french government. both of their drivers are french. (their drivers also hate eachother but we’ll get to that. just know they’re in the middle of a modern french civil war). they had the opportunity to have a good rookie driver (oscar piastri) this past year but in a thrilling twitter battle, he publically flamed the shit out of them and went to mclaren instead (and slayed). they're usually solidly middle of the pack. they ended sixth in the championship.

williams. williams has been one of the back of the grid teams for the last many years but they have finally started to get their shit together and don’t quite suck as much as they used to. all of the points this year were scored by only one driver though (except one but we’ll get there). they came in seventh.

alpha tauri. they are the sister team of red bull. so technically redbull owns both teams (meaning they can swap drivers between teams. they like doing this.) they’ve just kind of been There for awhile but they did slay towards the end of the season when one of their drivers led the race for several laps. basically tho, this team is the gateway to redbull. they came in eighth.

alpha romeo. recently renamed to stake f1 team (but sometimes they are going to be called kick sauber. this is a whole other drama post and i’m not getting into it). they’re also just kind of there. generally unproblematic. seems that really great drivers who get ixed out of a contract for a younger driver end up here or young drivers who are in their early years are here before they go to a better team. they ended ninth this year.

haas. oh haas. goofy team. they suck. point blank they suck. they keep loosing sponsors because they suck, they don’t win ever (one time they came first in qualifying last year). they cursed themselves in australia in 2018 by not tightening their tires and its been downhill ever since. they came 10th. their team principle got let go (fired?) who’s to say today.

so those are the teams. it is important to note that:

-there is a cost cap. each team is allowed to spend no more than 135m per year.

-not all cars are equal. some things are standard. they all undergo the same testing. but the cars are all very different. so you can be a good driver but stuck in a shitty car. which makes it impressive if you are doing well in a shitty car.

let’s meet our drivers!!!

starting with the guys who’s contract is not ending in 2024:

max verstappen. 3 time world champion. 26 years old. general beast on the track. he dominated the whole season. he’s currently racing for red bull and has a contract with them through 2028.

lewis hamilton. 7 time world champion. 39 years old. he drives for mercedes. he will not leave mercedes until he retires. he really really wants to win an 8th world championship and is willing to stick it out a few more years as long as merc still believes in him. his contract expires in 2025.

george russell. the other merc driver. 26 years old. hes aggressively british and says thinks like blimey unironically. walking meme. got his merc seat in 2022 right when they entered their flop arc by getting his tractor of a williams to finish second in qualifying in the middle of a rainstorm. his contract expires in 2025.

lando norris. mclaren driver. 24 years old. he has notably never won a race in his five years of formula one (mostly because right when his car finally was good enough max verstappen was 20 seconds ahead of anyone) but he is regarded as Very Good. he has only ever driven for mclaren. and even though there is another year left on his contract there is mass speculation that he will not renew his contract with mclaren after it expires and he may move up to one of the top teams (red bull, merc, ferrari) (tho i think he doesnt hate himself quite enough to go to ferrari). his contract expires in 2025.

oscar piastri. the other mclaren driver. 22 years old. this was his rookie season and he positively slayed. like people compared his rookie season to lewis hamiltons rookie season. he also had the positively funniest start to his rookie year because alpine announced that he would be driving for them (he had been their reserve driver and in the alpine academy) and he posted a tweet that basically said yeah thats false i never singed anything with you and im going to race with mclaren instead (he dodged a bullet) and then alpine tried and failed to sue him for $4m USD. he signed a contract extension with mclaren this year and his contract expires in 2026.

lance stroll. aston martin driver and son of the aston martin owner. hes doing ok, tho there was conspiracy that he wanted to quit and have a tennis career awhile ago. but basically since his dad owns the team it seems that hes guaranteed a seat for as long as he wants one.

so now. moving onto the good shit. the people who have contracts expiring in 2024. hold onto your hats people.

charles leclerc. (everyones favorite slutty little soup can). 26 years old. he is currently at ferrari and he has been since 2019. notably, he was given the longest contract in the history of ferrari after a stellar rookie season at sauber (renamed to alpha romeo, renamed to stake f1) where he got the tractor of a car consistently into the points. having the longest contract in the history of ferrari was a flex at the time, but now its likely how he will introduce himself at therapy sessions. ferrari have fucked this man left right and center up the ass with a plastic lunchroom spork. hes talented, he can drive, and he can drive well. but the strategy that ferrari has absolutely sucks. either something is wrong with the car (see him blowing out his gear box on the formation lap in monaco, his car completely crapping out and spinning into the barrier in brazil before the race even started) or they fuck up his pit stops or put him on the wrong tires and honestly its just frustrating. but will he leave??? likely not. you'd have to pry ferrari out of his cold dead hands and at this rate that might be where this is headed though there has been some minor speculation of him going to another team like merc or red bull, but merc doesnt have any open seats and red bull is a whole other dumpster fire of drama. ferrari are going to have to pay him a boatload of money to make him stay.

carlos sainz. the smooth operator. 29 years old. ferrari driver. previously carlos was at toro rosso (renamed to alpha tauri), renault (renamed to alpine), and mclaren before signing with ferrari. he has been at ferrari since 2021 and has voiced that he would like to stay with them for however long he can. there is speculation that lando might replace him at ferrari (but landos contract is not up until 2025) and there is also some speculation that alex albon might replace him. while charles is clearly the golden boy at ferrari, carlos is slightly slower but also definitely consistent. he was THE ONLY non red bull driver to win a race this past year, in Singapore after max verstappedn was knocked out of qualifying by alpha tauri reserve driver liam lawson (more on him later) and because he basically came up with his own strategy in the car while he was driving.

sergio perez. aka checo. red bull driver. 33 years old. and oh boy here's where we open the can of worms. checo was previously at racing point (renamed aston martin) and it was very near the end of the 2020 (?) season and he was out of a contract. he had a bonkers race where he was knocked to the back of the grid and then overtook everyone and somehow ended up winning (there is more to that story but just trust me) and christian horner, red bull team principle, mr ginger spice and definite disney villain called him and said congrats sir you have a seat at red bull! well. fast forward. hes been causing problems. problems as in crashing a lot, generally not doing great and pissing the crap out of red bull. it is basically guaranteed at this point that he will not be getting a contract extension. there was actually talk this year of him losing his seat mid season to one of the alpha tauri drivers, because remember, red bull owns both teams and they can switch them whenever they want to (and they have!) but ultimately this did not happen. even though checo has a seat at red bull until the end of 2024, its mass speculated that he is going to get switched with an alpha tauri driver, probably daniel ricciardo (more on him shortly) mid season because there is a speculated clause in daniels contract that says that if checo isn't performing well in the first few races daniel is getting his seat.

daniel ricciardo. 34 years old. alpha tauri driver. man oh man what a guy. outside of being the prankster of the paddock, he has one of the most batshit careers of anyone currently on the grid. he started out at red bull and was showing real talent and skill and was on track to win things (and was!) and was there until the end of 2018 when max verstappen (his teammate) started getting preferential treatment and also red bull started having a lot of problems with their engines (which were being outsourced from Renault (now alpine) and another team on the grid) and well very very long story short he made the surprise move of the century and decided to sign with Renault (which makes no sense they're the one with the engine problems) and was there for 2 years before moving again to mclaren where he was reportedly not treated very well and had a hard time driving the car so they mutually ended his contract with them early and he basically retired at the end of the 2022 season and became a red bull reserve driver. then halfway through the 2023 season alpha tauri ixed one of their drivers, nyck de vries, because he wasnt doing well and promoted daniel back up to a full time driver at alpha tauri (which we know is only a step down from red bull) but then he broke his hand in a crash in zanvort (?) and then he was replaced for a few races by formula 2 driver liam lawson (who we will also talk about) and then he came back to finish out the season in alpha tauri after he was cleared. daniel has admitted openly that he never should have left red bull and he was given bad advice to do so. hes towards the end of his career at this point and its well known that he Really Really wants to finish out his career at red bull again. he and max have already been teammates before and they do work well together and daniel is great driver (see his comeback in texas (or maybe it was brazil?) this year). so. Pretty Sure that daniels going to get either an extension at alpha tauri or go up to red bull. thats what we all want. get this man in a red bull we need him there biblically.

liam lawson. now technically liam is not actually a formula 1 driver. hes a formula 2 driver, but he was daniels replacement for five races and there has been some speculation and some confirmed news about him so hes getting included. when he was racing for f1 he was at alpha tauri. hes 21 and looks like he belongs in the movie grease. no one was expecting him to slay in formula 1 and he positively knocked everyones socks off. the scene: Singapore. which, if you'll recall, is the one race that a not red bull driver won. this was largely because liam lawson slayed the absolute game in qualifying. the qualifying part of racing determines what order the cars start in on the grid for the race and theres three parts, the first two parts the bottom 5 drivers each time get knocked out and then the top 10 complete for the last 10 spots. liam lawson knocked BOTH max verstappen and checo perez out of qualifying in the second round by going very slightly faster than them, effectively fucking up red bulls race and allowing carlos to win. and he also scored points in that race, which no one was expecting. now thats all fine and dandy, but here's the speculation: hemlut marko (im pretty sure) (who is somehow decently involved in the decision making at red bull though i couldn't tell you how) said that he thinks that liam lawson will be in an f1 seat no later than 2025. meaning that he will probably get offered a contract this year. and hes already raced for alpha tauri. red bull have sunk a good amount of money into him. they clearly want him. so if he gets offered an alpha tauri seat in 2025, that means theres a good chance danny rics is going to red bull. do you SEE how the plot here is THICKENED

yuki tsunoda. age 23. currently at alpha tauri. and fun fact, the only alpha tauri driver to race there the whole year. he had three separate team mates. he is slaying and hes often slept on. he has a bit of a temper and likes to shout on the radio and also hates working out (they had to force him to move to italy or something to work out, long story) but hes been kinda killing it. he led several laps in the abu dhabi race this year and hes decently consistent. people think theres possibility that he could get moved up to red bull on account of the fact that he is younger than daniel and clearly has more years in him,, but there is also possibility that he might not because red bull like to make stupid decisions. and if he doesnt get moved up to rebel, will he stay with alpha tauri? we don't know.

alex albon. age 27. currently a williams driver. alex albon is another one with a batshit career. he started out his rookie year in 2019 at alpha tauri then got moved up to red bull halfway through the year when red bull decided that pierre gasley wasnt doing a good enough job (more on him later) and stayed with red bull for a solid year and a half until he lost his seat in 2021 to checo. he has been with williams for the last two years and is basically carrying the team. like. williams as a team scored 28 points this year. and alex albon scored 27 of those 28 points. and as we know, williams is still kind of in their shit arc (though they are doing much better. they didnt score any points for a solid 2 (?) years. so this is an improvement.) and if you can get a shit car to perform you catch the eye of bigger teams. now, alex has already been a red bull driver. and he was on the cusp of podiuming two separate times when lewis hamilton ran into him. this (among a few other things) basically killed his chances at getting resigned at red bull because he wasnt ""performing"" and red bull are bitches who love to win. but some people think that red bull should give him another shot. like daniel, hes already been max's teammate and he can definitely drive. but theres also talk he might go to ferrari because ferrari think that he might compliment charles's driving style (or something). but going to ferrari at this point is kind of suicide. so.

logan sergeant. age 23. the only american on the grid. the other williams driver. he just finished his rookie year. he scored a grand total of one single point this season, in texas, and it was because charles leclerc and lewis hamilton both got disqualified because the floor of their car had more wear (by literally less than millimeters) than it was allowed to, bumping him up from 12th to 10th. he has never done better than alex albon. he was also the very last driver to get a contract for 2024, with williams waiting until i think december of 2023 to announce his contract extension. clearly, hes on thin ice. but people have also said that he needs time to get used to formula 1 (other people have pointed out that oscar piastri slayed his rookie season this year and this statement about needing time is largely false). where logan ends up next year though will largely depend on how well the 2024 season goes for him.

fernando alonso. 42 years old. many people like to point out that oscar piastri is actually younger than fernando's racing career. he won tiktok creator of the year (somehow) and is also a 2 time world champion. he retired a few years ago, just to show back up again and slay. during the first half of the season when aston martin had a zoom zoom car he killed it, and then they had problems on top of problems and he didnt do well. except for that one race in brazil where he came in third, beating checo by literally .05 seconds. he hasn't really made any hints about retiring a second time and he is kind of carrying aston Martin right now (he scored 205 points this season, coming in 4th and tying in points with charles leclerc, lance stroll only scored 74 points this year.) and they did have their best year yet this year. (though they are relatively new).

pierre gasley. 27 years old. french. drives for alpine. the french team. previously he raced with toro rosso (now alpha tauri), then got promoted to a red bull driver in 2019, then halfway through the season they decided he wasnt doing a good enough job and he got demoted back down to alpha tauri. then he won a race with alpha tauri just to stick it to red bull. after the great oscar piastri contract twitter war, he was signed as alpines second driver, with Esteban ocon being the other driver (more on him soon). estie bestie and pierre (both french) were childhood friends and now hate each other for unknown reasons and basically feuded on the track for most of the season. french civil war at alpine. he scored 62 points in 2023 and came in 11th. not really sure where he will end up, it is possible that he will stick it out at alpine.

esteban ocon. 27 years old. also french. currently driving for alpine. another one with a silly bonkers career. he started out at force india and had a baller few seasons there but his teammate at the time was checo, and checo didnt really cooperate with him too much and caused some drama that cost estie bestie some places and some points. max verstappen also beat him up in the garage once. thats not really relevant but it did happen. anyway, after the owner of force india was arrested for .... i don't remember what maybe it was embezzlement or bankruptcy or something money related, the team was backed by lawrence stroll and became racing point. but all of that happened mid season and lawrence was basically like look ill back you guys for now but next year my son gets a seat (lance) so one of you two (checo and estie bestie) have to go. and ultimately they let estie bestie go even though he was more consistent because checo had more sponsors and they needed money. so he was out of formula 1 for a few years (but was a merc reserve driver) and then went to Renault, which then became alpine. he did come in 12th though overall this season, just behind pierre. so. will alpine keep both him and pierre and keep the civil war going? whos to say.

nico hulkenberg. 36 years old. haas driver. in his 200+ f1 races he has never been on the podium and he really really wants to be on the podium. unfortunately this will never happen in a haas because haas fucking sucks. and everyone knows it. he is getting towards the end of his career though. though! stake f1 will become the mario Andretti and audi team in 2026 (don't question it) and they have supposedly voiced interest in nico. so we will see if he hangs on that long to end up at audi. for now tough, hes definitely hating it at haas. though, haas are going to have a different team principle next year so maybe that will change things. i have a sneaky feeling through that haas will probably end up with another 2 rookie drivers because everyone else is smart enough to not race for them.

kevin magnussen. 31 years old. haas driver. hes another deeply interesting character. he has had one podium. in his rookie season. in his first race. and none since. kevin started at haas in 2017 and then left at then end of 2020 when he basically got kicked off because the team needed money and they wanted to bring in drivers with more sponsorships. these drivers were mick schumacher and nikita mazepin. so kevin basically was forced to retire after the 2020 season. this went decently well for haas. until russia invaded ukraine right before the start of the 2022 season and, well, nikita was Russian and it was never distinctly proven that his dads company (who was sponsoring the team) wasnt also funding the invasion. so nikita got fired and they were literally like 2 weeks out from the start of the season, down a driver. who are you gonna call? kevin magnussen! and hes been back ever since. but hes clearly getting annoyed with haas. there was one great clip from this year where his car caught on fire and he kind of just stared into to, clearly hoping it would burn for a long time. so the likelihood of him extending his contract is looking slim.

valtteri bottas. 34 years old. currently a driver for stake f1 (alpha romeo, kick sauber, whatever you wanna call it). previously, he was a mercedes driver and notoriously helped lewis hamilton win a great many championships, until he lost his seat to george russell in 2022. there was a rather awkward part of the 2021 season where valtteri knew that he was out of a merc seat the following year and kind of just chose violence. he slayed. then he went to alpha romeo, grew a mullet and made a calendar of his ass. quite the glow up if you ask me. hes also very interested in cycling. honestly though, i have my own personal speculation that hes going to retire at the end of this year.

zhou guanyu. 24 years old. driver for stake f1 (alpha romeo/kick sauber, etc etc). hes doing alright. he just finished his second season, in his first season he was majorly out qualified by valtteri but this past season he managed to out qualify him a good 6 times. which is decently good for the tractor of a car hes driving. its possible that he could get a contract extension, but like logan, its probably going to depend on how the 2024 season goes for him.

and thats all the drivers. theres also a few others i didnt talk about, like some other f2 drivers who want seats and mick schumacher, who is currently a merc reserve driver, all of which could be contenders for f1 seats. but one things for sure. this is going to be the silliest fucking silly season.

feel free to add on and peer review me

#not a tag #from saph #saph explains silly season 2024 #f1 #bit of a shorter update ???#just enough stuff happened to warrant its own post #anyway #yeah brocedes deep dive is Coming its just a Lot #and if im doing it its going to be thourough #i actually proof read this one so if theres mistakes its on me this time #Instagram

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namuneulbo · 2 years ago

Text

week ninety-nine

so close.

monday and tuesday were nothing special.

wednesday i went thrifting and i found a cute top that makes me feel so bella swan and a cute dress that makes me feel so 2014 tumblr. i wore the top to the quiz in the evening.

thursday omg. my friends were doing a concert at the same bar as where the music quiz was held. i went there w a and on the walk there i ask her if we should go see the jazz concert afterwards as well and she was like:

"yes, of course, u know whos playing, right?"

WELL, i did in fact NOT KNOW but it just happened to be w on the drums. bro i was so excited. we went to see my friends concert and it was great and ended in a mosh pit so it was quite the change walking into the jazz gig afterwards.

they had already started playing when we go there but it was fine. we didnt get a close-up seat but i could stare at w from afar. it was funny bc when s arrived we just exchanged this glance of like:

"oh, we both know why IM here." the performance felt quite short but yk, we also arrived a little late. after the performance there was a jam, as per usual. w sat w his parents and some others, im assuming relatives, and also d (and k for a bit???).

yadayada i sat down w a, a, l and v closer to the front and then i saw w standing w´by the table l was sitting at but talking w b, k and t. i move over there since i knew it wouldnt be too obvious since me and l r friends. i barely look at him bc hes so close yk but UGHHHH he was like resting his hands on the table and leaning. idk how to describe it but yk standing but leaning and his sleeves were rolled up. dead.

anyways both c and l were leaving and i tried begging them to stay while w was there but they ended up just being like:

"no, girl, just talk to him instead."

i end up moving back to sit w a and l. a and v had left by now too. ws standing by himself and a immediately tells l to invite him over and he invites w to sit w us and points to a seat next to me. he sits down on the other available seat though lol i dont blame him since it was closer so it was more logical.

l and w talk briefly in-between watching the jam session and then w just drops a "i just realized i havent had any dinner today" and we start talking about going out to eat. we were discussing whether we should go to the grill or mcdonalds. mcdonalds is a bit outside of town and only the drive-thrus open that late but w did offer us going w him in his car but we ended up going to the grill. i wouldnt have minded sitting in his car though hehe.

me, a and l leave to go get our coats and w left behind for a bit to go pick up his cymbals and his bag. me and a freak out a tiny bit on my behalf before he joined us again. we left and i was so... omg? the entire walk there and i message l being like "OMGOMGOMG". on the way there w meets a bunch of ppl he knows and he starts play fighting w a. it was quite cute.

when we were nearing the grill i became ever so slightly more comfy to talk after i made a joke he laughed at. we were talking about how much food he could get if he just handed them his bag of cymbals and silly me said he could get lots of shrimps and rice. it sounds so dumb to like explain in such detail things i remember him or me saying but like,,, im gonna do it in detail anyways bc i want to remember it when im seventy and i look back at these posts (if tumblrs still a thing by then).

we all order food and he orders such a dad meal but ig its quite cute when he does it. we bonded over dips bc we had the same fav and the same least fav. we both love béarnaise and hate oriental lol. then b showed up and we invited him to eat w us so we had to wait longer so his food would be ready as well. i didnt mind ofc.

we started talking ab hans zimmer which led w to a passionate rant thanks to him being a zimmer fanatic. then that led to a film bro talk that initially made fun of how film bros act ab shots and stuff just for him to start doing exactly that dgjslkfj it was funny bc he was like listing famous movie scenes being like:

"and u know the story ab this shot, right?" until he reached one that we actually didnt know and he was like "oh okay then let me film bro real quick *proceeds to explain how that scene was shot*"

im afraid i really like film bros. i think its so cute when they get all passionate about it TT

i dont think ill go TOO into detail ab each tiny thing he said bc i already have a note in my phone of everything i remember TT am i manic?

we got our food and we went to campus to eat it. he went by the basement to put away his cymbals while us others went to the cafeteria. we went to sit down and a went to sit right next to me but l whispered like:

"no! move over! leave that seat empty!" wanting w to sit down next to me naturally. hes an ally ! anyways i did like a short joke ab how hed probably sit down on the opposite side and l laughed and was like "oh yeah, he probably will" and yup, he did. it was quite funny bc i havent told b i like w but if it wasnt obvious by now idk what.

we sat eating together for like an hour and i was so happy to get a reason to stare at him attentively wo it being weird bc yk,,, just watching him from afar and stuff can be pretty weird TT but like actually getting to have eye contact w him and stuff AHHHH!!!

b left first and us others were left sitting for a bit. i thought we were all going home until a whispers to me like "l, hes coming to the bar!!!" which was a big surprise bc like ive mentioned before, hes v rarely at the bar. hes been there more recently though which is fun.

we walk to the bar together and ahhh so happy hihi but we split up quite early on as he goes to his classmates and i felt to awkward to join him. after going outside rq i caught up w s for a bit before walking back in and joining w and some others who i knew. later we were left alone near the bar and bro it was so awkward and later a steals his cap and puts it on her head and i just awkwardly drop the worst line of my life:

"looking fresh."

i actually cant, ive been thinking ab it ever since... WHY TF WOULD I SAY THAT???

okay anyways i wanna forget ab it truly.

later on i joined a and her friends and omg... she asked me if she could wear my glasses and i let her and then she moved over to me and was like:

"i feel like a sexy substitute teacher," then she caresses my shoulder and chest and lightly grabs my shirt and goes:

"hm, u havent done ur homework~ what should we do about that~?"

AND BRO MY GAY ASS... i literally melted... that was like the hottest thing someones ever said and done to me. def up there w the time i cuffed me. she did apologize quickly for touching my chest but i said it was fine (WHICH IT VERY MUCH WAS!). then she pulled me into the bathroom and we talked for quite a while. shes so nice TT

when i got back w was gone.

next day, friday. we celebrate bs 18th bday. once getting to the bar we sit outside and i was so happy actually. like the conversation was so good and i was becoming the perfect level of drunk. i was sitting w my back towards the bar and c just looks at me and points behind me and mouths a quiet "look."

i turn around AND WHO DO I SEE? w. i literally look back in shock w my hand in front of my agape mouth and v goes:

"what, what happened?"

and i go like:

"omg, i havent told u i think" and i lean in and just "i like w" and then do little drum motions w my hand to like clarify which one i mean and his immediate reactions like "AIGHT, give me a minute" and he stands up. he was joking ofc and sat back down then genuinely asks me if i want him to wingman me. i consider it and i said he could go talk to him but dont like directly say i like him and he proceeds to go and talk to him twice i think?? it was funny. i told him he could wingman me next time for sure.

i never end up talking to w that night but i did end up telling a about it when i was walking around to bar to find him. i just walk up to her like:

"i was looking for w but he seems to have left."

then i proceed to tell her that i like him and thats why i was looking for him and her replys the cutest thing ever. she just starts telling me how im so cute and how hes so sweet and would be a great boyf and that i should so talk to him and AHHH I LOVE HER. feeding my delusions sm i love her. then she genuinely goes like:

"should we go look for him?"

i just tell her hes left bc i havent seen him but i told her quickly ab our little hangout from the day before and she was so excited ab it.

then nothing else of important note has happened this weekend. i dropped the story ab o to e and s. e on friday and s asked me ab it on saturday and it was so funny hearing ab him from their perspective. we all ended up agreeing that hes nice but def a bit,,,, weird and has some questionable traits.

ive been trying to figure out how to incorporate quotes into these texts wo it looking dumb and its so hard. i know how to use quotation marks in like,, fiction context but idk the proper grammar rules on how to use it while quoting ppl mid-story.

sotw: david bowie - criminal world

#diary #tumblr diary #namuneulbo

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yuukei-yikes · 2 years ago

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A lot of people seem to not like the manga as a starting point but its what hooked me. I saw will stetsons lost time memory and I was like "what???" "thats it???" and found the rest with my brother at like 2am. the mangas slow fun pace that is instantly cut off by horror is fun, the flashbacks are great characterization.... the only part i didn't like was the dissonance between Harutaka in mangaroute1 and mangaroute2.

it was a bit confusing. anyway do you prefer the anime or manga's version of takane as she seems to be your favorite character. (for me its gotta be the manga, the anime just did not do it)

the manga is what hooked me too! back in january 2014, there was tiny vinnie binging all the songs and what was available of the manga at the time in just one day...

i think the reason ppl dont recommend the manga as a starting point is the second manga route. personally, i recommend the manga as a starting point but only until volume 4 after the route we start with is over. and then i'd come back to second manga route when im done with everything else!! my kagepro recommendation is 1. songs 2. manga until everyone dies lol 3. novels 4. finish the manga 5. anime.

the thing with the manga is that it doesnt rly go into what the normal route is for very long. we keep saying second manga route but its like, idk MOST of the manga is that route.

i do like the manga for the same reasons as u, but sometimes im a little eh bc of mahiro sato's obvious knkd shipping and stuff lol. and i did write a whole bigass answer abt why i hate what happens to takane's character in haruka's arc in the second route. otherwise i dont mind the difference all that much. and i love her as ene in the rest of it. its just a few things that drive me crazy ok ill just link the post lol sorry i just have. um. strong feelings.

OK UR ACTUAL QUESTION hmmmmm well yea i'd say the manga or novels. i get what u say abt the anime but truly the anime did not do it for any of them LOLL there was barely any time for anything let alone good characterisation. like come on there's 11 main characters and 12 twenty four minute long episodes. wdym u dont like anime takane she was there for like (checks) 40 or 50 min in total?

takane is incredibly sidelined in the anime much like everyone else cuz. lol. AGAIN. kagepro is not somehting u can fit in a 12 ep long anime. yuukei yesterday in the manga and novels goes a lot more in depth about takanes personality and relationship to haruka. not to mention they put kano's little Disguising Myself As Someone Dear To You That You Have Regrets About on her instead of shintaro which was crazy. to me that did so much damage to kano's character. i wouldnt call myself a kano expert bc he's an insanely complicated character to tackle LMAO but... i dont know. i just dont think he would do that to ene. shintaro is one thing, we all know kano's little thing abt shintaro, but ene?? its like, he does that to her BECAUSE of the thing with shintaro. kano's pissed and frustrated at everyone moving on while he's stuck behind and ESPECIALLY at shintaro and takes it out on ene for being the main reason why shintaro is moving on. its a little unfair. i dont think kano would be THAT disconnected to do that. not to mention when he pulls that trick on shintaro he isnt half as harsh as he is on ene!! he just kinda spooks him (tho ofc thats enough to send shintaro spiraling LOL) while to ene he's like YOURE THE WORST FUCK YOU and then the way ene kinda laughs it off after also pisses me off LOL yeah kano could do this im not saying its COMPLETELY ooc but he would be in an incredibly despaired rock bottom moment and he'd be super apologetic about it later. post str kano and takane friendship *holds head*

and if you read the novels and kano's feelings and thoughts over takane it makes me sad that's what they chose to do in the anime bc in the novels kano regards takane as someone he's jealous of bc of how confident she is and "her ability to doubt people" and how he thinks they're similar ppl. like we rly dont give enough credit that TAKANE is the first person kano ever opens up to in his life. he even says the conversation they have might as well be the first conversation he's ever had with anyone, and they both head out to the hideout being the ones who have to admit something to the people dear to them (kano the whole clearing eyes thing to kido, takane the ene thing to shintaro) and its not for no reason!!! kano sees something in takane. he knows theyre similar, but at the same time he is jealous. that together sounds a little like he wishes he could be more like her. OUGH. and how they just chose to translate that whole thing into kano being awful to ene and berating her for trying to save shintaro is soooo fucked up. it bothers me so much. #notmykano

WHY AM I TALKING ABT KANO THIS IS ABOUT TAKANE. OK i was driving my point abt how the anime isnt a good judging point to any of the characters LMAO and i guess i wouldnt be able to tell u which "version" of takane i like best, or anyone for that matter. to me all medias are the same version of the same character. im in too deep all of them. the takane that almost kills kenjirou for outing her as lightning dancer ene is the same takane who admits it by herself. idk. guess its a good question but i dont have a good answer. thats also why i hate second manga route takane bc she does shit i dont think she'd do and it pisses me off LOL

#ask tag #you: what do you think of manga takane #me: starts talking about kano and the novels #sry for being insane #kagenalysis

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starbuckie · 4 years ago

Text

𝐢𝐭'𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐚 𝐥𝐨𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐜𝐡𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐦𝐚𝐬

challenge: winter warmers writing challenge by @spaceodditybarnes

prompt: “it’s beginning to look a lot like christmas” by michael buble

pairing: bucky barnes x reader

words: 2k without lyrics, 2.1k with lyrics

warnings: i genuinely don’t think i can say anything besides FLUFF, oh wait theres some mentions of the shmexy sex (i promise im a functioning person)

summary: in which they take a little holiday stroll and talk about what they are.

a/n: THIS MADE ME VERY HAPPY THANK YOU FOR HOSTING THIS CHALLENGE JADE!!! i kinda veered off the idea of christmas with this one, but my mind created another idea and i kinda just went with the flow. anyways, i really enjoyed writing this one, and i hope you all had a lovely holiday season <3 LOTS OF LOVE Y’ALL

main masterlist || sebastian stan characters masterlist

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas

Everywhere you go

Take a look at the five and ten, it’s glistening once again

With candy cane and silver lanes that glow

Snow sprinkled to the buildings and sidewalks of Midtown Manhattan, making the traffic clog up to the oh so lovely sounds of taxis and cars honking. It was far from what people pictured it, really, New York was absolute hell during the holiday season. Sloshing boots and teens smoking pot outside the scantily decorated discount store that held very little, sad-looking Christmas lights.

It didn’t bother Bucky. No, he had never been a big fan of the holiday season. Even back in the forties, with his ma and little sisters, they had never been huge on celebrating Christmas, instead choosing to work those shifts during the holiday so they could make a buck or two more to hold them over. Now in the twenty-first century, the holiday just reminded him how truly lonely he was, everyone and everything he used to know long gone.

But then he found Y/N. Granted, it had not been a formal introduction. The poor girl had nearly damn run him over with her motorcycle for Christ’s sake, but nonetheless she crawled into his heart that cold December morning two years ago, and had not left ever since.

Now she walked by his side at Rockefeller Center, her cold fingers intertwined with his warm ones, admiring the tree while he admired her. He already had every part of her memorized, from late night escapades in the sheets to studying the slope of her nose at team breakfasts. Even when he wasn’t with her, he was always looking at her, unable to pull his eyes away from Y/N’s radiance.

This little… dalliance of theirs had only started a year back, and they had still yet to put a label on it. Sam had called it friends with benefits, Sharon called it being a couple without the name. Bucky had shut both of those ideas down, claiming that they were taking it slow and weren’t looking to call it anything yet they still had not really talked about it. Was it really worth ruining the bond he had with the girl he fell madly in love with? Whatever it was, they had never taken time out of their day to actually discuss what they meant to each other, but, God, he’d be a liar if he said he didn’t want to know.

“Bucky?” Her sweet voice brought him out of his thoughts, the glittering red and white lights of the Christmas tree reflecting in her eyes. “You seem kind of distracted right now, sweetheart, are you bored? We can head back to the compound if you like.”

He smiled at her worried tone, delicately kissing the tip of her nose. “‘M just thinking, doll, wanna stay as long as I can out here with you.”

The grin he received in return was breathtaking, her red-painted lips turned upwards and a little twinkle (literally and metaphorically) in her eyes. “Good.”

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas

Toys in every store

But the prettiest sight to see, is the holly that will be

On your own front door

“Oh, look at that helicopter, Buck! That’s so cool!” Y/N pointed at a little boy in the store controlling the airborne toy with a small remote. “They didn't have those when I was a kid, I just had my Tamagotchi.”

He scrunched his nose, staring at her with an emotion that could be described as nothing other than distaste. “What the hell is a Tamagotchi?”

“A Tamagotchi was like this little digital pet thing that you could take care of, mainly used for kids who were trying to prove to their parents that they could take care of a real pet. That’s why I had one at least, but I never did get a tabby cat like I wanted.” Y/N continued to ramble about her weird pet thing as they walked through the toy store, though Bucky didn’t really care. But he’d never stop her either. The way her eyes lit up in childlike wonder and her fascination with the toys on the shelves was too precious to destroy. This was the girl who he had seen slit throats and blow aliens’ brains out, and in the moment she was ogling an American Girl Doll like it was the last pancake at the breakfast table.

Y/N finally convinced herself that she was done looking at the toys, claiming that she was too mature for such things (she really wasn’t), but he let her lead him out the door, before she halted right in the doorway. “What is it, honey?”

“Mistletoe.” He glanced up at the little sprig of green and red berries above their heads, hanging by a small strand of twine. A small group of kids with families stood around, watching them with both happy and annoyed faces. How could they not notice Y/N L/N and Bucky Barnes? Bucky’s vibranium arm may have been recognizable, but Y/N’s cheery, a little-louder-than-normal humming had caused a little group to watch them throughout the store. “I think they’re waiting for us to kiss, Buck.”

She leaned into him, placing her lips on his and placing her freezing hands on his cheekbones. Though Bucky had never been big on PDA, the rest of the world seemed to slip away when he was with her. He grinned into her lips, hugging her tightly around the waist so she squealed. When he forced herself away from her intoxicating mouth, she was sporting a bright smile and smudged lipstick that had rubbed off onto his.

Giggling, she took her thumb and swiped off some of the red residue she had left. “You had a little something there, sweetheart.”

A pair of hopalong boots and a pistol that shoots

Is the wish of Barney and Ben

Dolls that’ll talk and will go for a walk

Is the hope of Janice and Jen

Bucky watched Y/N point out all the different street cart vendors as they walked to Radio City Music Hall. She’d insisted that they go look at the window displays there as well, and who was he to argue? Strangely enough, they hadn’t talked much, other than the occasional “are you cold” from Bucky, to which Y/N assured him she was not. Her quiet voice sang the lyrics to Last Christmas when a little girl stopped in front of them, two auburn braids and green eyes boring straight into hers.

The small child pulled on Y/N’s skirt, a silent plea to go down to her height. “Hi there, are you lost, sweetie?”

“I wanted to talk to you,” she looked back to an older woman, who gave her a thumbs up and a smile, “because you are my favorite superhero and I hope you have a very good Christmas.”

Y/N nearly melted at the toothless smile the girl, who she assumed was named Sadie by the necklace she wore. “Thank you so much, sweetheart. I hope you have a good Christmas too, and do you know this guy?” She dragged Bucky down next to her, the large, buff man hulking over the small girl. “This is my friend Bucky, do you know him?”

He eyed her warily, as if he were absolutely terrified of the tiny human. “You’re the Winter Soldier!”

Uh oh. The name was one that struck a chord of fear through everyone, still in shock of the events that had taken place in D.C. in 2014. While he and Sam had tried to label a new brand for the Avengers, people didn’t forget all the horrors of HYDRA and their prized assassin. Of course it hadn’t been him, even he knew that, but trying to convince people otherwise still made him feel guilty.

“You’re my second favorite Avenger, after Y/N, of course.” Sadie brought her hand to hover over Bucky’s vibranium one, her eyes wide with excitement. “Mr. Bucky, can I touch your metal arm?”

The man in question could barely utter out a word, muttering some sort of agreement before nodding with a timid smile. Giddily, she touched his arm, feeling all the cool ridges of gold-plated vibranium against the gun-grey metal. Sadie continued to pelt questions at him, about Sam and Redwing to his “adventures” with Y/N on the team.

Bucky, though shy at first, got more and more relaxed as they continued their conversation, his grin growing wider. Y/N loved her fans, she loved them so, so dearly, but seeing them interact with the man she loved was something different. Not a bad different, but a word that could only be described as pure joy.

“Darling, I think we better leave Ms. L/N and Mr. Barnes alone. Say thank you and happy holidays.” The little girl looked sad, turning to look at her mom with a little pout, but she reluctantly obliged and soon the duo were off, into the crowded streets once again.

“Y’know once upon a time I had dreamed about having kids,” Bucky commented. They walked along the sidewalks in a comfortable quiet after the encounter with Sadie, but Bucky’s mind had not stopped reeling from the happiness his conversation brought him. “Was gonna come home from the war, settle down with a gal, and live to be at least seventy years old.”

“Well, I can tell you you’re good on the last bit of that, Buck.” He snorted at her jab at his age, something that has become a norm for their little makeshift family of four. “What do you want now?”

He stopped in his tracks and looked over at her with a fond tilt of his lips. “Oh, just something real special.”

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas

Toys in every store

But the prettiest sight to see, is the holly that will be

On your own front door

“Y/N, what are we?” She glanced over at him from where they sat on the Met stairs, giving their feet a break from walking for hours.

“What do you mean, Buck?”

He grabbed her hands and held them to his chest, trying to make her understand the amount of confusion and impatience he had with this one burdening question. “We’ve been sleeping together for a year, Y/N. We make each other breakfast, we go out together, I literally have half of my closet dedicated to your stuff, but even after all that we haven’t given us a name yet.”

Y/N sat in stunned silence, staring at the outburst from the man in front of her. To be completely honest she had never really thought about the question, choosing to enjoy each second she got to spend with the wonderful man with her. What she had noticed however, was how whenever they parted ways or were in the most intimate of moments, three little words nearly slipped off of her tongue. Every. Single. Time.

“Well, what do you want to be, Bucky?”

“I want to be the man you love. I want to be the man who loves you with his entire heart, though I like to think I already am. I want you to be my best gal more than anything in the world, and that I want to be the man who gets to hold and love you every night.” Slowly they drifted to each other, a magnetic pull bringing them to each other. “What do you think, doll?”

“I think,” her lips split into a grin, hovering over his own with the exact same expression, “that I want to be your best girl and the one who gets to make you pancakes in the morning and I want to be the one you get a cat with, who we’ll name Alpine because if I know you, names are the most important part of having a pet. I want to be held and loved by you every night, Bucky Barnes, and I am the girl who loves you more than anything in this entire damn world.”

Not another second to spare, Bucky pulled Y/N in close, letting himself get lost in one of her sweet, loving kisses, finally knowing that he was hers and she was his. At long last.

Sure, it’s Christmas once more

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jazzedpunk · 3 years ago

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intro tiiiiime

name: Blank, or Punk

pronouns, in order of preference: it/he/bit

age: 22

other info: plural. Big Gay. well, more like tiny gay bc im only 5’7” lol.

been a Jazzpunk fan since 2014(aka when the game came out), and i finally bought it after 8 years and got to play it!

i’ve finally lived out my 12-yr-old self’s dream of finally owning and playing Jazzpunk :]

DNI: bigots, creeps, assholes, “blue lives matter”*, harassers, abusers/abuser-sympathizers, and anybody else who is gonna hurt me or others

*if ye mean it in the Irish way (meaning the same as “Black Lives Matter”), yer all good on my book

basic taglist under the cut

#jazzpunk

basic tag for posts related to the game

#flavour nexus

posts related to the DLC

#blank’s posts

general tag, indicates im OP

#not safe for jazzpunks / #nsfj

tags for anything i deem to be suggestive

#ship post

post for shipping

#incorrect quotes

tag for “incorrect quotes”

#flashing

for any posts that have flashing visuals (which i hope to keep at a very minimal amount, as it can hurt some people and tends to hurt my eyes/disorient me)

#blinking

for gifs/videos where there is only a small part of it that repeatedly “blinks”. like flashing but tiny.

#queue the jazz

for queued posts

#scheduled to arrive

for scheduled posts

#the stanley parable / #the stanley parable: ultra deluxe

basic tag for my “The Stanley Parable”-related posts

#garry’s mod

for any posts relating to Garry’s Mod/GMod content

#links

for posts with links in ‘em

#original character

for posts with any of my OCs in them

#art

my art

#not mine

for posts i reblog that don’t belong to me

#for me?

for posts i’m tagged in, or posts made for me

#reblog / #rb

yeah

#the stanley holdable

for my absurd amount of posts about different ways i want to hold Stanley Parable himself

#blank’s pages

for any little minific/fics or prompts/ideas i write

#stougar/gougley

for anything to do with my stanley gougar

#blank’s aus

for my aus

#the backrooms

for posts relating to the backrooms

Spoilers and most triggers will not be tagged. Other assorted tags will be in there, but those are the main ones

Also I will tag other games and stuff as they come up/are referenced/mentioned.

#intro #taglist #blank’s posts

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schillypokespe · 3 years ago

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Infodumping about spiders and spiderman my bad

It seems no matter the universe the spider that was exposed to radioactivity was a Steatoda nobilis!!!! Which most people know as a 'False Widow'!! But the interesting thing to me is that. Spiderman is an American superhero in the basic universes, theres obviously the mexican and indian spidermen and also Peni but thats not important at this exact moment! But, Peter is an american superhero, and where he was bit tends to be the same, he was at a Techtonics Laboratory set up in New York City as a field trip, and there is no way that a False Widow could've been there.

Because given the timeline at that time False Widows are pretty strictly in the UK and Ireland and maybe at the very very far edge of California, which obviously its probably Marvel not knowing enough about Spiders but godbless if theyre going to specifically name a spider in one of their comics they better fucking know its habitats and geographic placement.

But what im stumped on is how that spider got there, because according to the main comic (Earth-616) it was just. already there! and was made radioactive by one of the machines at the lab, the comic that names the spider though is the one surrounding Earth-71928, which isn't important because unless otherwise specified the most likely situation is that it is the same spider each time and i'm looking at the pictures of all of them and the only ones with big differences are the ones that were in different areas (IE Penelope Parker, Mayday Parker, so on and so forth) but the Main Peter which is the one most of everything else is based off of was bitten there by that spider specifically, sometimes its modified though in the sense it has numbers on its back, which obviously probably means it was placed there purposefully by someone, but thats not for the Main Peter so thats not important, the more likely thing is that Peter was bitten by an actual black widow because that geographic placement makes more sense (theyre found from the south of Canada down to Florida on the east side of America)

but if thats the case there have been studies on spiders in radioactivity (specifically after a nuclear accident, here ), and while those are Trichonephila Clavata, Araneus Ventricosus, and Atypus Karschi spiders it gives us a good basis of what radioactivity would actually do when a spider is exposed to it, which mostly is uh . Kill it! and when The Trichonephila Clavata (Silk Spiders) spiders had eggs there was a double amount of radioactivity found in those baby spiders, but over a few years that radioactivity naturally ebbed away because it would get spit out everytime the spider created webs or let out venom, no matter what though the most likely thing to happen to spiders exposed to radioactive elements is that they'll actually get significantly weaker, and their webs are a lot more frail and easy to break, most likely seen that the spiders themselves will accidentally mess up the webs because they seem to act drunk when exposed to radioactivity!

of course these studies were in like 2011-2014 so when Spiderman actually got created as a superhero there was no way to tell or know what radioactivity in spiders would actually do but its definitely interesting !!!! however most notably the radioactivity did kill most of the venom in spiders and make the venom basically unusable (forcing the spiders to learn to kill their prey in other ways) which i mean, definitely points more towards an actual black widow biting Peter, because therefore when they tried to shoot the venom in their fangs out it wouldve just shot out the radioactivity, and this brings me back to them saying it was a false widow!, False Widows aren't actually very venomous at all! so if they were spitting their tiny amount of venom back into a person it would only hurt for a little bit and maybe swell up depending on the bite area, but mostly it would do quite literally nothing! it barely has long enough fangs to reach a proper blood vein area unless you have thin skin, so if a False Widow (with radioactivity instead of venom) bit Peter it wouldn't have gotten very far in his bloodstream to actually do anything to him

and, so, Black Widows are pretty well known to be one of the most venomous spiders literally ever. (which isn't true, the most venomous is actually the Sydney Funnel-web Spider, which is pretty much only found in eastern australia), but black widows are pretty much right behind Brown Recluses in being the most venomous in America, which. obviously that makes me wonder what would happen if a black widow got exposed to radioactivity for realsies, but of course you can literally test that by putting a spider under an x ray for too long or in the microwave and you wanna know what happens? the spider fucking explodes besties ! because black widows have a larger abdomen, and thats where all its web fluid and organs are, and radiation is hot, like, Very Very hot, and it would burn the web fluid inside of them (therefore making the web fluid weaker if they even survive) and then eventually start burning the microscopic hairs on them as well as their organs which would kill it, but the web fluid when exposed to heat would expand and lead to the abdomen popping

but !!! its interesting !! and it also kind of uhh. disproves a spider ever being able to survive long enough to actually bite Peter unless he was standing right under the machine that exposed the spider to radioactivity (and remember it has to be a long enough exposure for the spider to be able to therefore then put it another being, a significantly bigger being, mind you)

Making spiderman scientifically impossible, however lets role with the assumption he is possible right? he was given the powers of a spider, which. well first of all aren't a lot, radiation or not, because the radiation weakens the spiders, and assuming he was given the strengths of a black widow not a lot of his powers make any sense! Spiderman is known for always being able to get back up after being hit, being super super resilient, having super strength, being able to stick to things, and being able to shoot webs (either with web slingers or through his own body depending on which spiderman you want to talk about)

1. Lets address the first thing. He's Resilient and can get back up after anything. Makes sense for a black widow spider, however the reasoning for that is because Black Widows have an exoskeleton, a skeleton outside of their body that protects them, as well as they have eight jointed legs, meaning if you break part of a black widows leg chances are theyll quite literally just shake it off and keep walking because they have enough leg strength to keep them balanced for a long period of time even if a leg is fully removed, so sure, they can in fact handle most things, but the most damage Peter tends to take is through explosions or getting hit in the chest/midsection area, which . well. if you drop almost any spider from too high a height and they don't have any webbing to save them, they are going to die because their abdomen will explode, exoskeleton or not.

Spiders aren't very strong, and while they can last a long time in a fight they're pretty damn susceptible to death from anything that hits them too hard, so it makes sense to an extent but unless Peter grew a new skeleton when he was bitten im gonna have to check off the ability for him to just get back up after anything, which also checks off the Super Strength because funny thing, black widows are one of the physically weakest spiders, like most spiders with heavy venom they don't have to last long in fights because they can just bite their victim and walk away

2. Hes able to stick to things, sure, all spiders can do that because of the special oil coating their skin that goes away as they get older, i'm just gonna assume Peter is extremely sweaty and his sweat is now that special oil because otherwise there's no way for that to work (let alone if just one hand would be able to hold his full body weight without his wrist breaking)

3. the web thing works no matter what because you can actually somewhat replicate a spiders web fluid and make it stronger with certain chemicals, definitely weirder for the Peters that produce it Inside Their Body but otherwise that one gets a pass

4. the spider sense is most likely from the fact spiders can sense vibrations in their web also

He’d need a lot of help from his suit to make any of this even remotely possible !!

#spiderman #mcu spiderman #spider-man #GHSys.txt

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d3athwish · 4 years ago

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ok but like. let me be sappy about dan and phil again. since early 2014, they’ve seriously been my saving grace in every overwhelming hardship that i’ve faced. if i could pin the phrase “___ saved my life” on anything media related that i’ve turned to in hard times, it would go to them above anything else in the world. and its just weird coincidence that they always just happen to be there when i need them most and im grateful for that coincidence. like what are the odds that regular joint content officially returns right after i have the worst panic attack of my life and am in the early stages of going through one of the hardest things i’ve had to deal with. and every time throughout the years when i’ve been dealing with something new and seemingly unbearable they’ve just been there and saved me and it’s so odd bc it’s not like they are necessarily deep or profound but the way they saved me absolutely is deep and profound because through all the bad stuff, what i always need most is to laugh and smile and they give that to me when nothing else can. and maybe some of that joy is from nostalgia these days but still i’m laughing and smiling and i need that more than anything to survive. like yeah its nice to feel understood and to brood in my sadness or to analyze words when i listen to music or read books or poems or whatever else and that stuff has absolutely saved me too but none of that stuff even comes close to the kind of healing that just... feeling good for 15 minutes can bring me. and that’s never changed in the past 7 years. so im very grateful for them and for laughter even though its such a simple thing and seems quite silly. because being understood can only help you when you’re coherent enough to know what’s going on inside of yourself and there are times when i am absolutely not coherent enough bc i get so sick that it makes me brain dead and those are the times when a few minutes of relief and laughter and smiling is the only thing that can make me feel like a person again. and when i get sick like this i feel like a kid again, like that 12 year old that found dnp in early 2014 and became so fixated on them immediately because they wrre the only thing that could make me feel human. and im that kid now. and i’ve never stopped being that kid. bc when i get sick like this i dont know what else to do and i dont care to find anything else bc watching stupid 15 minute videos is enough to keep me coherent. and i wish i wasnt going through the stuff im going through but at least some things about me dont really ever change and i think that little tiny bit of stability is a good thing.

#long post #was there a point in any of this probably not carry on with your day/night #im just emotional and spouting bs

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theramseyloft · 5 years ago

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hello! im looking into buying pigeons as pets, I have experience with keeping pet birds but I want to get more specific knowledge on pigeons, how would you house them and what social grouping is best for them? and is it best to get younger pigeons if you want them to be more tame?

Pigeons require that you forget pretty much everything you know about any other species of pet bird.

The only thing they have in common is feathers and hollow bones.

Physical needs are dirt simple to meet.

Pigeons are strict granivores.

They are not capable of digesting anything other than embryonic plant issue.

Once the plant sprouts, they can no longer process it.

So no sprouts, no fruit, no veggies, no leaves, no roots, no stems, no tubers, NOTHING BUT SEEDS!!!!

They do not have the internal organs required to process cellulose.

I’m really sorry to hammer it in like that, but so many people going from pretty much any other species of bird to pigeons make really dangerous mistakes by using the nutritional and habitat rules for their other birds as the base line.

Even vets do this more often than not, because every one’s base line for Companion bird is parrot.

SO many people advocate that pigeons be forced to eat fruits and veggies as if they were parrots.

Their owners, who trust this wide spread misinformation and are only doing what their vet tells them, end up worried that their pigeons are not getting the right blend of nutrients when they refuse those things that are NOT food for them.

To make the birds eat “enough” veggies, their owners are advised to restrict their seed intake, because “seeds should just be treats for birds, not a dietary staple, or they’ll die of fatty liver disease.”

In the specific cases of Pigeons (Columba livia) and Ringneck Doves (Streptopelia risoria), the poor birds are accidentally starved on a full stomach by people who “Have bird experience” and are genuinely doing their best to take the best care of their pigeon, going by what they already know from other species, encouraged by the advice of their vet.

Please, do not do this to your Columbidae.

Give them a wide variety of seeds, black oil sunflower sized or smaller, that include grains and legumes.

Dried split green peas and lentils are good legumes to supplement a widely varied seed mix.

Unpopped popping corn is a pleasant treat for many.

Safflower seeds are irresistible training treats to most.

The columbidae do not hull their seeds. They swallow them whole, shell and all, and are dependent on the shells for dietary fiber.

So avoid hulled blends advertised as “mess free.”

Pretty much all commercially available cage for birds are built to display sitting parrots, or contain a little flock of finches.

Pigeons are primarily ground foragers that are not physically capable of climbing, but nest on cliffs.

They need more floor space than height, and flat perches because round ones hurt their feet.

Perches need to have at least a full body length between them, so if there is not space for that, only have one perch in the enclosure.

A training crate for a Labrador sized dog is plenty of space for most breeds of average (about homer) size or smaller.

Larger, taller, or longer winged breeds like Giant Homers, Utility Kings, Voorburg Shield Croppers, Frillbacks, Lagore, and a few others will need a kennel built for Great Danes

The perches in the photo above are modified Garden Stakes (Nearly always square and wooden) cut to legth.

The nest boxes are bunny/ferret corner litter boxes filled with straw.

If you are planning to have a few as pets, rather than a breeding loft, they do best if you think of caging like you would crating a dog:

The crate is not intended to be where the dog lives full time.

It’s where the dog sleeps or waits out the time you are away or otherwise unavailable to supervise out time; while they are still learning the house rules.

When you are home, the dog is let out, and you alternately praise or reprimand them depending on how they interact with your things.

The end goal is for the dog to free roam the house full time, knowing what they are not allowed to mess with, what they are allowed to interact with, and how they are allowed to interact with the things they are allowed to interact with.

Pigeons are exactly as capable of learning house rules, and can get to a point where they are trust worthy free roaming either full time, or during the day.

It’s useful to think of free roam training like you would with a dog or cat, but pigeons have the intelligence of a five year old human child, and a social structure that legitimately can be called a society and is strikingly similar to a close knit extended family of humans.

Pigeons are intensely social.

They don’t just breed in colonies.

They live in colonies year round that forage cooperatively.

They have a crazy efficient chain of command.

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2015/06/150609213053.htm

Whose leaders earn their following by proven merit

https://www.audubon.org/news/in-homing-pigeon-flocks-bad-bosses-quickly-get-demoted

Every flight capable individual has a vote in what the flock does when they leave the home loft.

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2010/04/100416214045.htm

It is not an exaggeration to call a pigeon flock a democratic meritocracy.

And because of that, Pigeons innately expect not just to have a voice in the social group they are part of, but to be aware of that voice being ignored.

Pigeons are incredibly vocally and behaviorally communicative.

This study of sea birds proves that at least some birds are capable of communication through the shells of their eggs.

https://www.mnn.com/earth-matters/animals/stories/baby-birds-communicate-eggs-hatch?fbclid=IwAR39CYrHAfFM6nAP8Rq3TvOox1p5vcb3Z87xqjPoiYNCwMoRvuQaWCeSFjs

Though there have not been pigeon specific studies done, I have noticed babies hatching with more obvious anxiety during stressful periods for the loft, so I have reason to believe that parents communicate with unhatched chicks, and unhatched chicks can communicate with eachother.

Pigeons have higher level cognition.

They share come cognitive traits with baboons

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/02/090212141143.htm

But they share a shocking number of cognitive traits with humans!

Brain wiring, for example.

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2013/07/130717095336.htm

Facial recognition

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2011/04/110411171847.htm

Complex categoroization

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2014/04/140402095107.htm

They are one of the very few animals (Including corvids, but excluding most parrot species) that are self aware enough to recognize themselves not just in mirrors, but in videos, even with a delay.

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2008/06/080613145535.htm

They can even learn the equivalent of words by the same mechanic as human toddlers.

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2015/02/150204184447.htm

This study is the basis of a communication study I have been doing with our birds for almost two years now.

Earlier, I talked about flocks being democratic meritocracies, and how aware pigeons innately are of their vote being ignored.

The more ignored a pigeon feels, the less cooperative they are inclined to be.

But the more they understand of the world around them and how their behavior effects it, the faster they learn which of their behaviors effect what and how to change their behavior to effect changes they want.

By verbally talking them through everything in the simple, clear way that you would for a toddler who has not yet picked up many words for things, you can teach a pigeon to understand your verbal communication.

With a bit of patience, you can also forge those associations using written words. Pigeons have proven capable of learning the difference between acronyms and actual words.

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2016/09/160919111535.htm

They have also proven to understand abstracts like space and time

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2017/12/171204144805.htm

Pigeons risk/reward evaluation is even strikingly similar to ours, compelling them to gamble on a bigger reward, once they have experienced the possibility of receiving one, than to stick to the guarantee of a consistent, but small pay out.

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2014/08/140827092105.htm

Building a trusting relationship with a pigeon is more like adopting a tiny, nonverbal human toddler who can fly than training any other type of domestic pet.

It’s easier for a younger bird to learn than an adult, because a younger bird has less ingrained behaviors that they need your help to unlearn, but with patience, any pigeon of any age can build a close relationship with you on the dual basis of trust and communication.

I have lots of asks about training that go into more detail.

Try searching the terms Training, Socialization, Bonding, and Friends.

I don’t have the option to tag asks. I have to go back and edit them after I have posted them in order to add a tag, and I often forget.

Especially when I have a long backlog!

For reference, t time of writing, I have 21 asks waiting to be answered.

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