#like doing that maneuver w someone that you DO have feelings for that you haven't acted on would be WILD

[isthereintruthnobeauty1968]

btw the opener on that w kira using odo as Fake Boyfriend Cover did bolster my current thoughts of 'she doesn't think of him romantically/what have you at all but does trust him and think of him as a safe person Despite The Everything, and he has nebulous feelings that might be a crush and might not be but he's too inexperienced with both romance/sex and close friendship to really name it'

[mysteryshoptls]

SR Silver - Ceremonial Robes Vignette

"I want to repay that debt of gratitude"

[Courtyard]

Idia: Ugggh～～～ Nope, nope, nope! Why's the Spelldrive Tournament have to be broadcasted on TV, anyway?

Idia: Just thinking of showing my face on TV feels like I've gained some kind of embarrassment debuff. I have to figure some way around this…

Idia: It's 19:00 right now… The Mystery Shop should still be open.

Idia: I just gotta buy a welding mask and hide my face all day tomorrow, if that's what it takes…!

[rustle, rustle]

Idia: Waah!? S-S-S-Something definitely just moved―

Silver: WHO GOES THERE!? IDENTIFY YOURSELF AT ONCE!

Idia: Eeek!? I-I-I-I-I'm definitely not s-s-s-s-suspicious at all…!

Idia: I'm I-Idia Shroud!!! F-F-F-From Ignihyde!

Idia: So, please s-stop pointing that baton at me…!

Silver: Ah… I see, it was just you, Idia-senpai. Which means it was not some dubious presence.

Idia: I-I feel like you're the more dubious one, jumping out of a bush like that and brandishing a baton in someone's face…

Silver: Why are you wandering around at this time of night, anyway? Most folks around this time are partaking in dinner back in their dorms.

Idia: I-I was off to buy a welding mask…

Silver: Were you planning on using it for some sort of engineering experiment?

Idia: Urgh… Well, what about you, wh-wh-why're you running around in your ceremonial robes?!

Silver: That is because this attire is perfect for blending in during dusk.

Silver: It is a little difficult to maneuver around in, but at present time, due to an incident, I don't currently have my dorm uniform.

Idia: H-Huh? So, why're you in stealth mode, then?

Idia: S-Silver-shi, are you actually some sort of ninja?

Silver: Hm… What is a ninja?

Idia: Rumored to hail from a far eastern country, they are a people who covertly work to uncover intelligence or do other dirty jobs.

Idia: Haven't you ever heard of shurikens, or fire breath jutsu or whatnot?

Idia: You'd find them in a bunch of animes, and in video games the ninja is a super popular class, on par with samurai!

Silver: Idia-senpai… You're suddenly very loquacious.

Idia: Ah… My bad, went full on geek there…

Silver: I understand your explanation… However, I am not a "ninja."

Idia: When you shoot me down without sparing any emotion like that, I feel even more embarrassed now…

Idia: So… Why were you wandering around the courtyard at night then, Silver-shi…?

Silver: Tomorrow is the Spelldrive Tournament. The academy will be open to the public, and people from all walks of life will have gathered here, from the common folk to foreign dignitaries.

Silver: I was on the lookout for any possible assassin that may have chosen to take advantage of the bustling crowds.

Silver: It would be a disaster if something were to happen to Malleus-sama.

Idia: You're definitely thinking too far! Malleus-shi's got some OP cheat codes, don'tcha think you're being too overprotective?

Silver: My lord and master Malleus-sama will one day be king of the faefolk and rule over Briar Valley.

Silver: Before coming to this school, he would be surrounded by his guards if he ever took one step outside the castle for any reason.

Idia: Uh-huh…

Silver: If something were to ever happen to Malleus-sama, it could lead to an international incident.

Silver: Therefore, I do not consider this as being overprotective.

Idia: Wh-Wh-What's with this epic tale…?

Idia: I've only ever heard of assassins and international incidents ever happening in games, though…?

Silver: This is no game. This is our reality.

Idia: W-W-Woooooah…! I wish I could say a line that cool, too…!

Silver: …? If you wish to say it, you should.

Idia: Nah, it only sounds good coming from you, but if I tried saying that I'd just get ROFL'd at.

Silver: I see… I don't truly understand, but I apologize.

Silver: Well then, I will be going back to my rounds. Take care to not be mistaken for someone suspicious.

Silver: Both Sebek and Lilia-senpai are also patrolling the school grounds as well, after all.

Idia: G-Got it… I'll up my stealth modifier just like you did, then. B-Bye.

Silver: Right, see you.

Silver: I should link up with Sebek and Lilia-senpai and let the know that Idia-senpai is wandering around the courtyard.

Silver: It could be disruptive to others if Sebek were to encounter him and cause an uproar.

[Courtyard]

Idia: Whew… Done with class, finally. But, ugh, the sun's so bright today… This is the worst AoE for a shut-in…

Idia: On days like these, I just wanna hole up in my room and just lose myself in my dailies.

???: …

Idia: …Hm, is someone there?

Idia: S-S-S-S-S-Silver-shi!? Why're you collapsed dead in the courtyard!?

Silver: Zzz… Zzz…

Idia: Oh… Is he just sleeping…? The shock made me think the worst…

Idia: …But, dang, he sure has a handsome face. I bet everyone flocks to his good looks～

Idia: He looks all sparkly and princely when he's sleeping, to the point where even small, wild animals would gather around him…

Idia: He's completely different now than the guy I encountered right before the Spelldrive tournament.

Idia: It was scary having him point that baton at me…

Idia: He's the type of guy I never woulda gotten involved with if that'd never happened.

Silver: Mm… Rrhn…

Idia: Eek! H-H-H-He's w-waking!?

Silver: [yawn] Oh… I had a fleeing suspicion someone was there. Hello, Idia-senpai…

Idia: N-N-N-N-Nuh-huh!! I definitely wasn't staring at your sleeping face, Silver-shi!!

Silver: Hm? Please, calm yourself. You seem to be startled and tense whenever we meet.

Idia: Th-That's just a normal introvert reaction, though…

Idia: A-A-A-Anyone'd be jumpy, anyway, if they got a baton swung in their face, like last time.

Silver: You may be right… I apologize for what occurred then.

Idia: Urgh… Now I feel bad that you're apologizing so sincerely.

Idia: Silver-shi, you're pretty strange… Not only are you way more straight-forward than any of my dorm students, but also pretty loyal…

Silver: …Is that so?

Idia: Y-Yeah. There's no way anyone in Ignihyde would patrol after dark just to keep their Housewarden safe…

Idia: …Ah! O-O-Or maybe, does Malleus-shi rule through fear to keep the Diasomnian in line?

Idia: Th-That would make more sense… So, you were forced to do those night patrols, then?

Silver: He has no need to rule Diasomnia through fear. Even our patrol the other night was done of our own volition.

Silver: I do not know the relationship between you and the other Ignihyde students, but I would do whatever I can for the one I have sworn allegiance to.

Silver: The fact that I am here today is all thanks to my father and Malleus-sama.

Silver: Simply put, I want to repay that debt of gratitude to the both of them.

Idia: Wow… You may have kept a cool face throughout that speech, but that was just as passionate as any nerd infodumping…

Idia: Maybe we're just two peas…

Silver: In addition, I would like to prevent any sort of conflict between human countries and Briar Valley, if some trouble were to befall Malleus-sama.

Silver: I may not have much power, but I would like to do as much as I can.

Silver: My father always said while I was growing up that fighting was not the answer.

Idia: Woah… That's pretty deep.

Idia: Sounds like that father of yours is one of those charas with muscles of steel and an indominable will.

Silver: Yeah. My father was a member of the royal guard who served the royal family of Briar Valley.

Silver: I hear not only was he a renowned warrior, but the Queen herself trusted him personally.

Silver: He may be retired now, but back then, he was a soldier who had put his life on the line in battle and gained much accolade.

Silver: I'm sure he's had many a harrowing experience that I cannot even begin to imagine…

Idia: Y-You serious? This sounds like something out of an open-world RPG or something…

Silver: "Open-world"?

Idia: It's a type of online game. Yeah, sorry, I know a normie wouldn't know that. Sorry I'm such a nerd.

Silver: No, I know of online games. My father often stays up all through the night playing those sorts of games.

Idia: HUH!? Your pop just went from hero to zero in one go!?

Silver: My father has always loved keeping up with whatever is currently all the rage. He recently got a Magicam account, as well.

Idia: Huuuuh!? The image of a battle-hardened general of an elite royal guard is crumbling before my eyes…!

Lilia: Heeey, Silver. Why're you just shooting the breeze over here?

Lilia: You promised to help me out with that extra hard quest after classes.

Silver: Fa… Lilia-senpai. My apologies, I'll be right there.

Lilia: Hm…? Oh hey, it's Idia. Didn't expect to see you here with him.

Idia: Ah, uh… L-L-L-Lilia-shi. This is, uh…

Silver: He just happened to encounter me sleeping here.

Silver: Idia-senpai, see you later.

Idia: Y-yeah, later…

Idia: …It was kinda cool hearing about Silver-shi's dad.

Idia: He's a decorated soldier from Briar Valley, but also is really into video games and is a Magicammer lol.

Idia: If a guy like that really exists somewhere out there, even someone who hates people as much as I do would probably enjoy meeting him…

[Diasomnia Dorm – Hallway]

Lilia: I need to grind to prepare for the new items that are dropping soon. There's going to be a seasonal event next week, too. Ah, so busy.

Silver: You seem to always be in good spirits when talking about your games.

Lilia: They didn't have these newfangled online games when I was younger, you know.

Lilia: People from around the world can now enjoy playing with each other without worrying about physical borders. Society truly as gotten so blissful.

Silver: You're absolutely right. And when it comes to the world in which you are able to enjoy gaming so much…

Silver: I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that I must protect it.

Lilia: …You've grown to talk pretty big, it seems.

Lilia: Well then, let's put money where that mouth is and start our marathon of gaming! I be letting you sleep on me tonight～!

Silver: P-Please, anything but that, Father…

Requested by Anonymous.

[childrenofcain-if]

Hiii, I hope you have a nice day. I just want to tell you that since I found your story I haven't stopped thinking about it and the characters. The way you write is amazing and I can tell you know what you are doing. As someone who writes in her spare time I must say I am in love with your writing. ✨

But seriously, you write very well, I hope the universe gives you health and lots of motivation to continue with your projects.

Now, C is the most popular Ro and I get it, it's mine too, but I want to know more about the others too. Hahaha

I don't know if you've answered this yet, from what I've read you haven't, and that's fine if you don't feel like answering or don't have time.

What would you say is the Ro's way of dealing with jealousy?

Will there be any characters who are jealous of other Ro's?

And also, what kind of voice would you describe for them? How do you imagine their voices?

Oh oh, and will there be some difference in the way Ro's interact with different MC's?

Thanks for reading and for sharing your talent with us, and sorry for talking so much and asking so many questions. Hahaha

Pd: soooo we already have amazing Ro's but is there a possibility of having you as one of them? pls 👉👈🌸

i’ve gotten so many asks about my writing and ngl, i was very surprised because imposter syndrome is a bitch and i have a hard time being happy with anything i write. y’all have made me so much more motivated and confident in my writing and i can’t thank you enough. this is to let you know that i’ve read all the sweet and supportive asked you’ve sent me and i’m eternally grateful for everybody who have faith in me and this story 🫶🏻

okay, sappy axel aside, let’s dive into the questions:

what would you say is the ROs’ way of dealing with jealousy?

C LACROIX

C’s jealousy is a quiet, smoldering thing, more akin to a slow-burning ember than a raging fire. it begins as a mere flicker, an unsettling gnawing at the edges of their mind, something easily brushed aside in the beginning. but it grows, consuming them in small, imperceptible increments.

they don’t lash out; that would be too obvious, the action of someone too insecure. instead, their jealousy manifests in control—sharp, calculated moves to reassert their dominance, their superiority. a barbed comment here, a subtle maneuver there, each action designed to tighten their grip on what they perceives as theirs.

C cloaks their jealousy in a façade of indifference, even as the venom coils tighter around their heart. the game, after all, is not about emotions—it’s about winning. and C Lacroix does not like losing.

V NÆSHOLM

V’s jealousy is a battle of wills, fought not just with the outside world but within themselves. raised on the virtues of patience and self-restraint, they resist the initial sting, the impulse to confront. V does not crumble at the sight of competition; rather, they internalize it, turning their attention inward, wrestling with the dichotomy nature of their feelings.

they pray, of course—they always pray—seeking strength to overcome what they see as a personal failing, a momentary lapse in their otherwise steadfast faith. but jealousy lingers, seeping into their thoughts like a persistent shadow.

it is a test, they tell themself, one they must pass without faltering. and so, V watches, waits, and suffers in silence, until the day when they can either forgive or be forgiven.

W OSTENDORF

W’s jealousy takes the form of a timid, creeping thing, a quiet dread that blooms slowly and without warning. it unsettles them, making them feel small, insignificant. they know what it is but can’t quite bring themself to acknowledge it. it’s easier, safer, to pretend it doesn’t exist, to bury it beneath layers of strained politeness and mild-mannered smiles.

when jealousy takes hold, W retreats into themself, seeking solace in routine and familiarity, as if by doing so, they can keep their ever-growing at bay. they avoid confrontation, preferring to suffer in silence rather than expose this chink in their armour.

they convince themself that it’s nothing, just a passing feeling, that they’re above such negative and petty emotions. but deep down, they know that their jealousy is simply fear dressed in a different guise—the fear of being overlooked, of never being enough for anyone, much less you.

D DIACONU

D’s jealousy rears its head as a raw, visceral thing, a sudden and overwhelming force that they’ve never quite learned to control. it ignites quickly, like a match struck in the dark, flaring up in an instant and consuming all rational thought. they feel it in their chest, hot and suffocating, and their first instinct is always to fight—to claim what they believe is rightfully theirs.

but D is also scared, terrified of the depth of their own emotions, and so they pull back, lashes out in unexpected ways, the anger masking a deeper fear. they’re torn between the desire to protect what they love and the dread of being inevitably hurt again.

in the end, D’s jealousy is as much a reflection of their insecurity as it is their passion—a volatile mix that will leave anyone restless, yearning, and perpetually on edge.

M WHITLOCK-SINGH

M’s jealousy is a cold, calculated affair, more of an intellectual exercise than an emotional response. they analyze it from all angles, as if it were a puzzle to be solved rather than a feeling to be experienced. they don’t let it show; that would be beneath them, unbecoming of the “paragon of styx.”

instead, M channels their jealousy into ambition, using it to fuel their drive, their need to prove that they are, indeed, the best. it’s not that they don’t feel it—they do, acutely so—but they refuse to be ruled by it. jealousy, in M’s eyes, is a weakness to be mastered, a flaw to be overcome.

and so they play the long game, biding their time, waiting for the moment when they can subtly, almost imperceptibly, reclaim their rightful place without ever lowering themself to the level of those low-level thugs who provoke it.

will there be any characters who are jealous of other ROs’?

i didn’t understand this question fully, but i’m guessing you mean amongst the ROs? if so, C would be more jealous of D if they ended up dating the MC and vice-versa. W is jealous of any ROs who date MC lmao, but they’ll try their best to temper it down.

and also, what kind of voice would you describe for them? how do you imagine their voices?

C LACROIX: silky and husky, with a slightly cold, detached quality.

cédric’s voiceclaim would be tom hiddleston, while céline’s would be ella purnell.

V NÆSHOLM: gentle, warm, and steady, with a soft, almost lyrical cadence.

vance’s voiceclaim would be jordan fisher and for vanessa, it’s the same as her faceclaim, taylor russell.

W OSTENDORF: soft and slightly breathy and raspy, with almost a drawl that surprisingly makes them sound sincere most of the time.

for wilhelm, i’d say andrew garfield comes to mind. wilhelmine definitely has gracie abrams as her voice.

D DIACONU: deep, rough, and slightly smokey. there is also a gritty edge that comes out when their emotions are getting intense.

dumitru’s voiceclaim is definitely jacob elordi, while imma have to give dumitra to sophie thatcher.

M WHITLOCK-SINGH: polished, refined, and posh, very articulate with a natural commanding tone.

maxwell’s voiceclaim would probably be a mixture of benedict cumberbatch and dev patel. i knew from the conception of maxine as a character that i wanted simone ashley to be her voiceclaim.

and will there be some difference in the way ROs interact with different MCs?

ooh definitely. it largely depends on your character’s personality and choices tbh, but don’t worry, there’s no weird stat system for that. you don’t have to kiss their asses all the time for them to treat you nicely, however, you shouldn’t be overly rude either because that’s going to lose friendship/romance points.

i guess what i’m trying to say is that your MC doesn’t have to be a complete doormat to progress with their platonic/romantic relationship with the ROs. some of them, like C and M, might even start softening up if the MC is more of a gentle/shy type.

[ccghastly]

Van der Linde fellas react to an Asexual S/O

GN Reader

Arthur, John, Hosea, Dutch, Bill, Sean, Charles, Javier

Written w/ the reader being non sex-repulsed, but nothing explicit

I take requests! Feel free to ask!

Arthur

I hc Arthur as Demisexual, so he probably understands the easiest. The further you get into your explanation the more things start clicking in his head.

There are multiple confused rambling passages in his journal as he tries to think through this reality you've introduced to him.

Expect him to get very tactile as he seeks comfort and anchors himself while his thoughts get sorted.

Gets even more confused than normal when you call him sexy or say something he does is attractive, but does quickly catch on to the idea of mental vs physical attraction.

Now asks if this is okay before doing anything he thinks may be pushing you. Which, until you establish your hard limits, will be everything. Very sweet, 1001 check ins for 1001 kisses.

"Still Alright?" . "I'm Alright."

John

Does not understand and fully willing to accept that. Still supportive though.

He does not want to mess this up, so the reigns are now fully in your hands. Hope you were ready to wear the pants of this relationship, cause what you say goes.

He backpeddles a bit too far and you'll now have to initiate everything, unless you manage to convince him otherwise.

He 100% tries to get advice from Arthur, but doesn't want to out you, so he just poses more and more obscure hypotheticals. Until they're both mindlessly arguing and Hosea has to come break them up.

Hosea

Fully supportive from the start.

You are not the first Ace he's met, not even the fifth.

He'll tell you a few stories and crack a few jokes

"Probably for the best with me getting up in age, not sure I could keep up with your youthful vigor."

The both of you have been caught on several occasions reading explicit books to make fun of the maneuvers and tropes.

"It's a good thing people don't buy these for the plot!"

You are the sickenly sweet couple that never seems to leave the honeymoon phase, sweet kisses, holding hands, pet names, cuddling by the fire. The whole shebang.

Dutch

Does not understand, May accuse you of making it up or being dramatic

Is the kind of guy to insist you just haven't had good sex yet, but fear not he's willing to help you.

Had heard of it, but thought it was in the same vein as husbands saying they have a headache and wives saying they have their monthlies. Saying no without having to say no.

If you drag Hosea into it, Dutch will probably concede that you're not lying and apologize, but don't expect him to fully be on the same page with you.

Bill

(tw for allusions to noncon against an offscreen character, that is not the Reader or Bill)

Gets real quiet, then asks you to explain it again, then again, and again once more.

Asks a few tentative questions, then gently asks to hold you

"Did somethin' happen, someone hurt you?"

You rush to explain that, no you're perfectly fine, nothing happened. You just don't seem to feel lust the way most folk do.

He breathes a big sigh of relief, slumping down and gathering you close in his lap to hold you tight.

He explains that while he was in the army, he'd known some people that had been real similar, but only after some real bad stuff had happened to them.

Bill now mooches cuddles from you like they're being rationed.

Sitting down? It's on his lap. Standing up? His arm's around your waist. Walking to town? You're holding hands. Going to bed? Meet your new blanket.

Sean

Error 404 Sean.exe has stopped working.

Not wanting/needing Sex?? He does not understand.

You'll need to explain multiple times, over multiple days. Then explain again when he gets your explanations twisted up in his head.

"You don't want sex, but we can have sex? You'd do that just to make me feel nice??"

He feels blessed, he's dating the sweetest person to walk this earth. No other person can compare, and he's ready to shout it from the rooftops. Tried it once with a saloon when he was a few pints too deep, Arthur had to rescue him after he got stuck and started crying.

Thought he was gonna die up there and never get to see you again

Charles

Very Understanding, did ask for a few clarifications, but believed what you were explaining the whole time.

Not comfortable asking for penetrative sex, but if you want to watch or help him find his pleasure he's fully willing.

Unending cuddles from this man.

Makes him feel kinda guilty, but he really enjoys getting to touch you with no stress about taking it up a level.

Gets even more protective of you when people try to push their luck, you'll never be groped again, no ones dumb enough to try with him glaring over your shoulder.

Once knocked a guy out for lewdly catcalling you.

Javier

Tries to be supportive, but does not understand.

Will occasionally try to get you in the mood and you'll have to explain it to him once again.

When he finally gets it, he swerves hard into romance.

If he can't express his adoration for you physically, he'll do it how he knows best

He is going to charm your socks off.

There's compliments, there's flowers, there's serenading, there's moonlit strolls, picnics in flower fields, candle lit dinners, sweet kisses 24/7, and the Flirting! The flirting never stops!

You never knew so many pickup lines exsisted and for so many situations, but you're about to find out.

(Based on my own experiences being and coming out as Ace, please be kind)

[elvisabutler]

smut prompt 6 w big daddy pleaseee 🥹🥹 I LOVE YOU AND CONGRATS U DESERVE IT!!!!!!

birds sing for you and me

fandom: elvis presley | elvis ( 2022 ) rating: m pairing: elvis presley x gender neutral reader, i think. wordcount: 610 warnings: no use of y/n. mentions of fights. mentions of elvis's insomnia/sleep issues. brief madonna complex undertone thing it's a very much blink and miss. me deciding to write in a way i very rarely break out, it's not everyone's cup of tea. it leans more poetic than anything else. smut isn't super graphic. author’s note: elise was having soft elvis hours and this happened because i opened this up like a idiot at the same time. this is for my 1k gala that's still going on. i don't know how to explain this y'all, even down to the image, but i hope you like it. austin elvis or actual elvis works for this. also thank you elise baby, but i already said that in private but it bears repeating! and if y'all saw a different word count originally no you didn't.

Sometimes- sometimes Elvis sleeps. Graceland is usually where Elvis can sleep the best, wrapped up in the one place that's always been home from the moment he bought it. It's the one place that's uniquely his. His place to settle his body and hsi mind and- recenter himself properly. On those days he wakes up to the sounds of birds singing and your breathing.

Sometimes- sometimes Elvis doesn't sleep. Graceland can center him but Graceland is also where he can bring his friends together. Where he can bring everyone he cares about under one roof and for the most part everyone knows to get along. Knows that if anyone's starting a fight it's you or him. Possibly with each other but more than likely with someone else because something was said about how you stay in his lap, curled up in some combination of an animal, a lover and a child all at once. It's fights started because someone wants to make fun of how you and him baby talk with each other as if they haven't been used to it when he was with Linda or when he was married to Priscilla. Elvis doesn't usually stand for the comments though, it's his house, his domain and while some of his friends might not still work for him- they're- he reminds them where his loyalty lies, where he hopes theirs does as well. On those days he goes to sleep to the sounds of birds singing and your breathing.

Sometimes- sometimes it's both. Sometimes he sleeps so well in the beginning hours of the night or the ending hours of the night but wakes up and finds himself wishing you'd make more noises than just breathing. You're intune with him in a way Linda wasn't and in a way Priscilla wasn't so he usually wakes up to your eyes blinking at him with a sleepy sort of grin on your face.

These nights you roll on top of him or he rolls on top of you with a hum because you both may be awake but words escape you in the moment, words require too much brain power in the beginning. The hums turn into sighs and gasps and growls as his hands move across your skin, across your back and hips and ass. As your hands move across his stomach, across his shoulder blades and under his paunch to feel his hardened cock straining in what you and him affectionately call his lil scarf. You pull it back and maneuver yourself so that you can slip him in. His thrusts aren't forceful when you two are like this, not like they are when you're both properly awake. They're slow and gentle and yet you whimper just the same.

"Music t' my ears." He murmurs, his lips against your skin. "Love that sound ya make. Do it again, Buntyn. Tell me how much ya love-"

You always cut him off with a kiss and a soft smile before you make the noise again, this time more exaggerated as you both laugh a little. When you come it's slowly, a fire that's been stoked to the roaring intensity before it burns itself out. It's the same with Elvis, sometimes before you sometimes after you but he makes sure you do no matter what. You deserve that for that sound and for your love.

On these nights- on these nights he thinks the birds only sing for you and him on the nights and mornings there's silence in your shared bedroom. On these nights, he'll take the sounds of you and him together over any bird or any song he can sing.

taglist: @thatbanditqueen only because i promised i would tag her so she didn't miss things. normally i don't tag my gala stuff. hi y'all.

[grassclippers]

❀˖°three cheers for a hopeful Future ❀˖°

⋆˚ ༘`✦ ˑ ִֶ 𓂃⊹˚ ༘`✦ ˑ ִֶ 𓂃⊹˚ ༘`✦ ˑ ִֶ 𓂃⊹˚ ༘`✦ ˑ ִֶ 𓂃⊹˚ ༘`✦ ˑ ִֶ 𓂃⊹˚ ༘`✦ ˑ ִֶ 𓂃⊹

summary-if only y/n didn't have a curious mind and they just went on there way to. But they knew they could never go back to the regular hustle and bustle of there their old life. especially since they meant a pipe cleaner of a man. ⊹𖡼𖤣𖥧𖡼𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊

T/W: cats,iced chai,suicide?,murder?

About: /first person/ italic words are thoughts you have a cat - tiki bar: a fat brown cat that you found behind a chilis y/f/d: your favorite drink pronouns: they/them y/n: your name y/n/n: your nickname y/h/l: your hair length y/h/c: your hair color y/n: is an outgoing person who likes chai and is learning to become a archaeologist and minor in film.but on there way to class they meet someone ⸝⸝´꒳`⸝⸝)

A/N- i'm sorry i haven't written in a while but i realized after i watched criminal minds that this needed to be made, this fic is a bit out of character . i am planning to turn this into a series. i will also be using season one ,spencer, since he's an awkward little goof.

september,15,thursday, 9:00 am, 2005 ⋆your pov⋆

oh shit, i think as i wake up on my desk. i cranked my up to feel the knot start to emulate in my neck. if only i was in culinary school then i wouldn't have to worry about these outlandish projects.i think as i stare at my laptop that seems to have have died while i was asleep. i stand up and began to stretch my limbs. i quickly scan the room only to notice that the lights are turned off and stare in the mirror, i was wearing an oversized shirt and a pair of shorts. My y/h/l was tasseled. I look like a hobo. i quickly turn n the light and searched for my laptop charger. ⊹𖡼𖤣𖥧𖡼𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊 I plug my laptop in and as i wait i go to the kitchen in my apartment. i note that my roommate has left for her classes , and that tiki bar is napping on the plush armchair you were gifted by your dads. You trudge to the kitchen and grab y/f/d. As you enter your room you observe you have an hour till classes. you turn on your phone and play your morning playlist as you open your laptop and double check that you finished your film project and turned it in. you gaze slowly shifts to your door, tiki bar has entered. you register that you should probably get ready for class .

9:45 am ⋆ spencer's pov⋆

four college students have committed "suicide" on every seventeenth since may ,on the same bridge, all at 7:15:27 am.

probably a cult or maybe a- Spencer ,morgan yelled my name. i slowly look up at him. i give him a confusing look, were here he told me as i notice we were parked on what seemed to be a the bottom level of a parking garage. i remembered that this particular parking garage, the gravet garage, from the map we were that were shown of the place in which they lives were ended.

9:45 am ⋆ your pov⋆

I quickly grab my key to my moped and shoved my phone into my bag. i gently put my headphones into my ears. i slowly drove to the ,gravet garage, that was close to my classes and by far the best garage since it was near the cutest little coffee shop. I park the colorful moped near a black suv. as i walk to the coffee shop i notice a decent amount of people almost huddled around the outside of the shop. i slowly maneuver myself around them since they seem like they could beat me up. i walk up to the counter as i am about to order i notice a skinner man who seems to be apart of the group that was taking up lot of space outside. ⊹𖡼𖤣𖥧𖡼𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊 I watched as he slowly scanned the menu that was filled with sugary coffee, interesting teas, spiced chai, and breakfast foods. He looks undecided and cute. I blush at my own thoughts. "Hey do you need any help deciding on what to order?because when i say they have a killer iced chai latte. I mean it" i say to him and as I smile. He gradually turns his head to me. We make eye contact." oh my name y/n but my friends call me y/n/n. well if i had any friends." I say my smile emulating joy. "h-h-hi " he says . He stutters that is so cute."my name is spencer, did you know that chai was thought to be found at least 5,000 years ago, it was supposedly made for king. they made chai as a remedy for all his illness"spencer says. " what that's sick . did you know chai is one of my favorite drinks". ⊹𖡼𖤣𖥧𖡼𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊 I say happily. "are you ready sir" the attendant behind the counter says. "may please have caramel frappe" " anything else sir" "that's all" he pays and casually walks to place where you pick up your coffee "hey, can i please i have and iced chai latte with oat milk" I walk next to spencer as I wait for my coffee to be made. "so are you with the group outside or do you also not know them?" "I-I am with them" "okie dokie, so why yall in town. i am genuinely curious. since yall look like your from the matrix" our coffee are presented to us.and we take them. "we are all apart of the FBI, and we are reschearing the suicides that happen on the north east bridge" "Thats cool, weren't they apart of a cult or something" "we are lead to think that but-"he gets cut off by a voice outside that tells that they are leaving. "well it was lovely to meet you maybe we could talk in the future" I take a napkin and write my number on it. "everlong, spence". i quickly rush out the door.

10:00 am ⋆spencer's pov⋆

I quickly shove the napkin in my pocket. Shit, i think i just flirted with someone. Morgan was the one who interrupted our conversation and he again is yelling for me to come outside the coffee shop. "were walking to the main campus to conduct interviews on friends and other college students" Morgan says. As we investigate i realize that the only thing my mind is y/n. They were so kind. i will have to try chai now.

[sapphire-weapon]

I know you've said before that you didn't like Leon in Damnation. I haven't actually watched it, honestly I don't find RE films all that good (though I'm excited for Death Island just for the fun of it) and I read the Damnation plot.

Anyway, would you mind elaborating on why you didn't like this rendition of him? How did you feel about the overall plot and Adas portrayal? I watched Adas fight, I liked the usual ridiculous backflips, lol. They're a classic RE charm. Other than that, the whole ending scene of her selling the big bad to a mysterious buyer had me rolling my eyes. She plays out the same god damn plotline in EVERY appearance she has. They never know what to do with her! I'll also admit I cackled at the "night we spent together" of w/e line, because of how painfully awkward it was. The voice actress sounded physically pained reading it, it was pretty funny! I just can't take the pairing seriously at all.

But yeah. Any opinions you have about any part of Damnation, I'd love to hear!

he's just fucking annoying. his personality is obnoxious. someone looked at the script of OG RE4 and went "okay what if this but way worse and less charming."

he also has absolutely nothing to do with the central plot of the movie. he's just kind of... there. being annoying. the core of the plot is Ada's investigation of Svetlana, and the heart of the plot is Sasha's resistance group. Leon just poked his fat ass into it because... idk. it feels like he's contractually obligated to be in every CGI thing RE puts out.

the kind of politicking and social maneuvering that Ada does in this film is the most that her character ever gets to shine at any point in the RE series. it's the only time we get to see her being an actual spy as opposed to just another combat unit with a different title. it shows off her ability to work people other than Leon and highlights the extreme amount of intellectual and emotional intelligence she has.

Leon's presence just drags her down. just like it always does. but it feels even worse in Damnation, because she's so good and interesting outside of her interactions with him.

the only thing that Damnation does right wrt Leon is establish his alcoholism in tandem with his distrust in the government that he works for and the feelings he has about being trapped and used. the very first scene he's in and the very last one are both great. everything else can be punted the fuck away.

and Sasha's story is legitimately compelling and heartwrenching, and it's a goddamn shame that we didn't get to see this movie play out through his eyes. he had the potential to be one of the most sympathetic protagonists that this series has ever had, and the movie went "OKAY BUT LEON THO" instead.

pisses me off, man.

[seelestia]

hahaha i’m glad i’m bad at being an anon BUT YOU GIVE ME SO MUCH TO TALK ABOUT SO !!!

yeah school sucks i agree, chemistry is making me tear up. what's your favorite subject? and tbh I haven't written in a while i have no ideas what to write :( any suggestions?

uh oh i love chocolate milk but three glasses feels like it'll shoot my stomach. i am pretty good at self control, or at least id like to think so. and HAHAHA this is really funny bc i am in fact an intp and OBSESSED w mbti. what's yours?

you did do it justice!! i love the idea that sometimes no matter how much you love someone there's always going to be a small part of them that loves someone more than you and living with it can be difficult. you did it GREAT. and ZHONGLI AHHH. hes wonderful to write as i love his personality. i love how u analyzed him and i completely agree shxij. i love writing characters I can chew up n analyze (tehe) bc i like challenges, so scara, childe, kazuha, and diluc are some of my favs. wbu?

-quill!

dw about it, quill! i love giving people things to talk abt because my brain is a jumbled mess of topics and listening to other people's opinions / how uniquely they view the world compared to me are absolutely >>>

CHEMISTRY IS A DEMON CHILD FR. i still need to shove chemical equations because figuring out how to balance them sucks the life out of me 😭 but my fav subject is deffo biology! i like how i always go "ooh, so that's what happened" because my child self used to have sm questions abt how the heck our body works. what's your fav subject?? >:)

i'm not good with suggestions, but let's see! is there any particular trope you'd like to try writing?? or like a trope that just screams a chara's name to you?? this sort of thing makes me feel inspired, but i'm sorry if this doesn't help much, quill <//3 i hope you'll be able to find inspo soon tho! it sucks not knowing what to do :(

see, you're a better person than me when it comes to this. (/lh) now that i look back on it, what was i thinking downing three glasses of choco milk 😭 ANYWHO, ME TOO?? a fellow mbti-obsessed brethren?? i'm an infj and i'm glad i guessed you right, ehe. let me tell you, i love typology sm like i have a habit of assigning an mbti or enneagram type to someone i've talked to for a bit or even the mc's i write in my fics (like the mc in 'do you love me?' for example! i can say that they'd be an xNFx / intuitive feeler).

THANK YOU SM <3 me too like the idea of that is so painful but also somewhat realistic at the same time?? like emotions are unique in the way that they don't have reins for us to maneuver the way we want to and following that idea, it somewhat explains how we can be prone to leaning towards one side more than the other (consciously or not). it may be an easy fact to acknowledge; it may not be an easy one to confront, however. — i think that was like the baseline i was trying to portray in the story?? i'm glad you loved it tho! writing that fic makes me adore dylm!zhongli and dylm!mc sm ☹️ (they're my skrunklies that are subjected to angst torture /lh)

CHEW AND DISSECT THEIR BRAIN! (in a safe and non-dottore way /j) i like how scara and diluc are the ones that put a lid over their feelings whilst kazuha and childe are the honest, open with what's on their mind type 🤭 for me, some of my favs to write are: ayato (are we surprised /j), scara, alhaitham, and dainsleif (so underrated, i need to write for this depressed beautiful man asap)! as you can see, i have a thing for writing logical people and i fear it's an obsession. (/lh)

[goddess-of-green]

𝐆𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐓𝐚𝐤𝐞 | 𝘕. 𝘒𝘰𝘮𝘢𝘦𝘥𝘢 𝘹 𝘙𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳

Synopsis: You're always doing things for Komaeda, he wants to repay you. Word Count: 751

(Drabble from ages ago lol. I originally had more in mind but smut is exhausting for me to write.)

Warnings: GN!Reader, slight!NSFW, (there's NSFW content but it's very limited,) Dom!Komaeda, but not really lol, he's still a big pushover

You giggled as Komaeda leaned over you, entrapping your body with his own as he placed possessive kisses on your neck.

"What's gotten into you?" You smiled, looking up at him as his elbows came to rest on each side of your head on the bed.

He had been especially clingy and affectionate today; arms stuck around your waist and stealing kisses at every opportunity.

You accepted it with open arms, (Komaeda was usually not so bold as to constantly act on his clingy feelings) but...there were aspects of it you were only used to in moderation.

You blushed as Komaeda started to kiss lower, hands rubbing up and down your sides as he praised you.

He looked at you like you were his everything, and his words conveyed the same.

The constant worship flustered you.

"Whatever do you mean, my love? I simply want to treat my partner with the utmost love and respect, as they have done for me." Komaeda smiled serenely, either not noticing or not caring about your embarrassed expression.

"Truly, trash such as myself is not worthy of such an honor, but allow me to do you these small acts of service and bring pleasure to my beloved hope." Komaeda continued, his hands inching towards your inner thighs under your loose shorts as he brought himself closer to the edge of the bed.

Realization came to you. "Ah, Komaeda! You want to...-?" You blushed.

He'd never done anything like this for you before.

"Yes..." Komaeda adopted a dazed expression, giving you the impression he didn't mind the idea at all. "I'd love nothing more than to bring you the same glimmering hope as you have to me..."

Silly Komaeda, confusing hope and sexual gratification...

"A-Are you sure you really...want to...?" You asked nervously.

You already knew the answer, but your nerves were getting the better of you.

"But of course! Unless..." Komaeda had a curious look, before smiling as he seemed to come to a conclusion. "Ah, I see! You don't want human filth like me to-"

"Ah- no, no!" You waved your arms. "That's not it at all! I just..." You grasped Komaeda's hands that tried to retreat from your body, sitting up.

"I'm kind of nervous...we haven't done this before..."

Komaeda looked at your expression in awe, but smiled before you could ask what he was looking at.

"Wow! Usually our roles are different! I almost feel like... Ah, nevermind! What a perverted thing to say..." Komaeda trailed off, seeming to be berating himself.

Despite cutting himself off, you had an idea of where he'd been going with that...

Your cheeks burned. 

"W-Well, um...I'd love if you...did that for me." You said, your voice uncharacteristically shy. "I just don't want you to feel obligated-!"

"Ah Ah, nonsense, my hope. Quite the opposite in fact, it would be an absolute honor for someone like me to serve you in this way. And besides..." He smiled as his tone became a bit more sultry, his hand inching closer to your clothed sex. "Any experience with you is an experience worth remembering."

Flattered, you smiled, cupping his neck with a hand and bringing him to your level to kiss him.

After you pulled away, he only brought you back in, a possessive hand on your cheek so he could control the pace of the kiss.

Pressing your lips against his, he hummed (or was that a moan?) spreading your legs open so he could maneuver in between them and keep kissing you.

Cupping both your cheeks now, he kissed you deeper, slipping his tongue into your mouth.

Not expecting such a move from Komaeda, you couldn't but let out a moan. 

"Ah," You pulled away finally, in need of air. "You're like a different person today, Ko'." You smiled.

Komaeda was close enough for your breath to fan over his face as you spoke, but somehow was more flustered from your words than your proximity.

"Ah!" He blushed. "I'm sorry! It's just...you're always doing things for me, making me feel good... I want to do the same for you... It's the least I could do..." He trailed off, seeming to lose confidence.

"You already do, baby." You grinned, leaning in to kiss him. "Every day."

"But..." You brushed some of his hair out of his face. "If you really want to do something like this for me, I'd love to let you."

Komaeda smiled, returning to his place between your knees.

[jishyucks]

Eight Count ‣ lmh

‣ genre: fluff, enemies-to-lovers, hogwarts!au, I think it's a slow burn

‣ wc: 10.8k

‣ summary: "There's honestly no way Minho would like me. And me of all people would know that." ; in which fate decides to be an ass and make you and Minho dance partners

‣ an: I'm sosososo sorry @ whoever requested this bc of how long it took. I didn't mean for it to be so long but it kept going and uni is to blame bc all of the work :(( but anyways enjoy !!

i.

You feel the beat of your heart quicken as you maneuver through the maze of corridors that you had begun to approach. Time was ticking. The first classes of the day had already started about half an hour ago, and here you were, racing down the stone hallways, tardy and a bit dazed.

It had only been a mere five minutes since you had woken up in the dormitories in pure panic, the realization that everyone had left and you were still cuddled up against one of the pillows in your bed driving you to act quick. You could accuse your housemates of not even bothering to check if you were alive, but you soon decided to place the blame on your body's restlessness and inability to go to sleep when you wished. You wouldn't call it insomnia, but your sleeping patterns weren't normal either.

Approaching the dance room with a quiet sigh of relief, you tug at the wooden door and peek in, hoping that you weren't barging in at such a humiliating time.

Scattered around the rather room, students were paired in twos. Each couple's bodies had been facing each other, hands sitting awkwardly in the other's while their faces were turned towards the dance instructors, Professor Shin and Professor Na. By the look on Professor Shin's face, it was evident that she was about to continue speaking, but the door swinging open had caught her attention.

"Ahh Y/N, nice of you to finally join us," she clasped her hands in genuine excitement, passion towards dance obviously bubbling up inside of her.

You grinned crudely and bowed your head, "W-what should I do, Professor?" Spotting your best friend Felix within the group of students, he tried his best to send you a look of 'we were supposed to be partners'. You shot him an apologetic expression back before turning your attention back to both professors.

After a brief pause in thought, Professor Na's face lit up, "Ah yes! Lee Minho lacks a partner as of now!" Following the eyes of your teacher, they brought your line of sight to the far corner of the room where Minho had been sitting. At the mention of his name, he raised his head to see that everyone had been gaping back at him in what seemed like total silence.

A sharp intake of air through your nose had replicated a gasp, eyes growing wide, "P-pardon?" Out of all the boys in the class, an amount you couldn't keep track of with your fingers, you had to end up with Lee Minho? The human embodiment of a wet sock?

Minho was… unbearable, to say the least. It wasn't that he had done something for you to hate him, which made you seem like a bad person, but in all honesty, your guys' personalities didn't seem to match. He was too arrogant, in your opinion. He has this energy that he carries that really didn't sit well with you, and by the looks of it, the feeling was mutual. It was as if you both ended up on the opposite bc end of everything.

It really doesn't help that you're a Hufflepuff, and he's a Slytherin. For some unknown reason, they always loved teasing the people from your house, though Hufflepuffs chose not to return their actions.

"Mr. Lee is the only student remaining with no partner."

You gulped and slowly approached him, only because your professors had motioned you over to him. If you could protest, you would, but what was holding you back was the attention given by the entire class and the teacher's who seemed too excited for their own good.

Minho pressed his tongue against his inner cheek, eyes lighting up in wrongly-fueled happiness. He hopped from the upper bench and down across from you. You blinked back at him dryly, maintaining calm yet trying to speak to him with your eyes.

Crossing his arms, he leaned forward and smirked, "Why the bitter face? You should relish in your luck for ending up with me."

"Stop talking, dead cells are coming out of your mouth… Luck my as–"

"Now! That everyone has a partner, I'd like you all to stick with these individuals until these classes are finished," Professor Shin had announced. It was quickly followed by groans and whining from many of your classmates. Though you hated your partner and wished you had arrived earlier and paired with Felix, you stood quiet, isolating the anger within your chest.

"And before we begin once again," Professor Na added, "I'd like to point out that this is still a class. We will be holding a class particularly focused on evaluation and your grade will be heavily based on participation over the length of this course." Once again, a chorus of grumbles had flooded the room.

You hear Minho curse under his breath, only because he was now two steps too far into your bubble, "This is utter bullshit."

This time it was your turn to taunt, "Why? Are you scared or something? Can't dance? Can't keep up with everyone?"

Narrowing his eyes, he scoffs, "Oh, shut your mouth, bumblebee. Just wait and see."

ii.

"Get up!" Felix tugged at your arm, voice sounding louder than it actually was. When you hadn't shifted at all in your bed, he sighed and tugged once more, "Y/N!"

"Wha– Felix you're not allowed in here!" You kicked at your blanket and sat up.

"We need to get to dance class," he clicked his tongue, "Let's go~"

"I really don't want to go," you whined, "I'd rather fail a class than hold hands with Lee Minho for an hour and a half." Felix dragged you out of your bed to see that you were already dressed in your robe, only your yellow and black tie had been carelessly tied.

"Wait, did you not change out your clothes from yesterday?" Felix jumped back in exaggeration, alarmed and slightly grossed out. His nose scrunched while he judged you through his eyes.

You glared at him and scoff, "Of course I did, you idiot. And don't act like you haven't done that." You take this as your victory as it was true, Felix had gone two days without changing, and it was a bit nasty considering all the places he's gone to in a day.

This time it was his turn to glare at you, "You shut your mouth! Now let's leave before Snape sees us roaming the halls once class starts."

Minho winced slightly, trying not to let your feet ruin the simple waltz routine that the class had finally run through, "If you step on my foot one more time, I'm shoving yours up your arse." His teeth were gritted in frustration, looking down at you with narrowed eyes.

"Then stop stepping on my feet," you muttered back, hoping that no one else, especially the professors, were hearing you two bicker.

It had only been about two lessons into the class and that amount of times that Minho had purposefully disrupted the routine… as if it were good, to begin with.

The two of you found it difficult to fall in sync with each other. It was always either going too fast or too slow, someone making an 'accidental' mistake, and Minho's favourite, holding your hand and hip with a tight and stubborn grip. It wasn't evident whether he was doing it on purpose, either, but you had pointed it out plenty of times, and he never seemed to loosen them.

"I'm not stepping on them," he pushed you back a little too early in the dance, causing you to stumble on your own feet. This caught the attention of those around you, though they carried on almost immediately after.

"Tell that to my bruised toe," you argued back.

As if you were being blessed, the music had finally come to an end. You promptly retracting your arms and to your body and taking a step back from Minho. He had done the same, going an extra mile to turn away from you and to the professors.

"Perfect! Perfect!" Professor Na's face lit up from excitement, "Now that we have learned this simple routine, next class we are moving on to one of the actual dances done in the Yule Ball as tradition. I hope you all are excited as I am!" Very few students had taken time to let out a "whoop" while everyone else, including you, chose to retrieve their books at the seats.

Felix approached you with a pitiful smile. He already knew what you were going to say, patting your back gently, "So how was it?"

Exhausted, you just shook your head and shrugged. Being partners with Minho honestly had been completely draining for you, mentally and physically, which was unusual as you could often live through such situations without feeling the need to scream.

"What else do you think?"

Felix nodded apologetically and puffed out his cheeks, "Is it as bad as the potions exam we had in fourth year?" He shuddered subtly and led you out of the classroom. Just thinking about that exam made Felix want to claw at his brain. If there was a way to take a particular memory and make it disappear from the chamber of long term memories, he would. Maybe then he'd be able to get a few more hours of sleep.

"Yes," you replied simply. The test was equally as horrible for you, but a test didn't force you to 'create chemistry' with a certain Slytherin.

"You're lying… can't be that bad," Felix laughed lightly.

"Easy for you to say," you sighed.

From behind, you feel someone bump your shoulder and pass by you, "Oops," he snickered, walking backwards to watch your reaction. The only thing he was missing was popcorn.

You turned to see Minho and rolled your eyes, "Ha-Ha, you're so funny, Lee Minho." Such a childish joke and you guys were almost leaving Hogwarts.

Though your reply had been dripping in sarcasm, Minho's wit had dodged it entirely, "Well thank you very much," he bowed, more like a manly curtsy, before he ran off, leaving Felix slightly puzzled at what just happened.

"Don't you see how much of a dingbat he is? He constantly chooses to pick on me just to get a reaction out of me," you utter, "He should be glad I was raised to be patient, if not I'd be hexing him like the world was near its end."

"I see a pattern," Felix hummed. The expression on his face looked as if he had come to an incredible epiphany.

Making a face, you click your tongue, "What do you even mean by that?" What pattern? Green, white, green, white? Minho and his constant need to be the crow to your crops?

Felix patted your head, "You're slow sometimes, you know that right?" He puffed his cheeks up and raised his brows as he looked down at you as if you were a kid.

"Can you just spit it out?" you narrowed your eyes at him before you physically pried his hand off your head.

"Minho does all of that just to get a reaction out of you," Felix presses his lips into a thin line, slowly forming a smile.

Finally arriving at the next classroom, you groaned, "You basically repeated what I said earlier…"

"If you didn't know this already, boys love getting attention from someone they are attracted to," Felix plopped into his seat. You followed right after, "I should know… I'm a boy."

You almost laugh at the tone of his voice. The confidence and the look he gave you to emphasize his statement; was all too funny, "So what you're saying is… Lee Minho has a – and god forbid– crush on me?" Felix nods like a young child, with eyes wide and a tight-lipped smile.

"Bollocks," You burst out laughing, "Felix, I love you, don't get me wrong, but you've never said anything more rubbish in the years I've known you."

"The chances are never zero," Felix put his index finger as if he were saying it in 'a matter of fact'.

You lean forward and sit your chin at your folded forearms. You eyed the teacher as she made her way into the room, "You're right there, Lix, but there's honestly no way Minho would like me. And me of all people would know that." You locked that statement in, feeling your words and emotions contradict.

Right?

iii.

"And then Y/N had the audacity to step on my foot," Minho kicked at the bench across from him, frustration released after what seemed to Seungmin was years of ranting. He didn't mind though, in years of being in the same house as him, he learned how to block him out yet still know what was going on when Minho asked for some sort of reply.

Minho tapped the end of his pencil against his textbook, eyes drifting off elsewhere in the grand hall. Students were clumped at their respective tables, studying for whatever class they had. Minho was trying to do the same, but his state of mind was not in the mood. But he was trying, he was pushing himself, that's what mattered in his opinion.

Turning his attention to Seungmin, who was seated next to him, he jumped, seeing that Seungmin's eyes were wide and directed at him, "What the hell!?"

"What?" Seungmin shifted back forward, facing his own books. In a sense, the scene was hysterical. He acted as if he hadn't done anything wrong or out of the ordinary, but Minho still tried to push an explanation out of him through looks.

"What do you mean what? Why were you looking at me like that?" Minho put his pencil down and closed his book on it.

"I was trying to see something," the boy shrugged and got back to his own work.

Again, Minho furrowed his brows at Seungmin's lack of detail in his response. What in the world was he even trying to do? "Trying to see what? If you don't answer me properly–"

"Okay! Okay!" Seungmin exclaimed a little too loudly, earning looks from other wizards in the room, "You know that saying that if you're in love, you start to glow?"

"No? What type of nonsense are you saying?" Minho scoffed, "Love? Are you sick or something?" Roughly, Minho brought the back of his hand to Seungmin's forehead, which Seungmin had thrown off almost right away.

"You've been talking about Y/N this entire period, you haven't stopped until moments ago," wiggling his eyebrows, Seungmin whispered his reply to Minho, making sure no one would be able to hear him this time.

Minho's face had contorted into one of disgust and confusion, "And?" Where was Seungmin even going with this? He was just relieving stress. It's not that deep.

"My point is that they're the only thing you've been talking about lately," Seungmin scribbles his pen at the top of his paper to get it to work, "Even if I start the conversation, it somehow just shifts to Y/N. Normally I'd be mad, but since you're in love, I'll let it pass."

"In love?" Minho's jaw dropped, a mixture of emotions swimming around inside of him, "In love!?" Trying to find words to perfectly reflect what he was saying, he fails, shoving Seungmin off the bench. Actions spoke louder than words, right?

Seungmin smirked and chuckled, unfazed, "What? Cat got your tongue?" He gets up, dusting his robe off before sitting back down, "It's because I'm right, aren't I?"

Minho gulps, "Will you quit it? You're…"

"I'm…?"

"You're confusing me. Quit it," Minho huffs, gathering all his things as he was planning to return to the dormitories. This was a different way of playing with emotions. There was a zero per cent chance that he liked you, or worse, loved you. That word was way too strong, dangerous like amortentia.

"I take that as a yes!" Seungmin stood his ground, just letting out a genuine laugh.

Minho held a finger up at Seungmin, who still laughed, unbothered. He didn't like you. And if he did, it wasn't wrong to do so. It was an ordinary mortal thing to have feelings. But that didn't matter right now because he didn't like you, not even a tiny crush.

But that slight state of unfamiliar panic in his heart says otherwise.

iv.

The muscles in your arm were aching from the horrible fact that Minho had been purposefully letting his arm go limp while he was holding your hand, which somehow led to you holding up his arm with your arm. You frowned at him, tempted to let your arm fall in the middle of the routine.

"Can you actually put in some effort?" you whispered through gritted teeth. Squeezing Minnho's hand, you directed a look of annoyance that only returned with an amused look. Underneath his robe, you could tell he had been intentionally dragging his feet, causing the both of you to slowly hold those partnerships behind you up.

"I'm not wasting energy on this," he shrugs quietly, "It's ridiculous."

"What don't you find ridiculous?" you rolled your eyes, "You Slytherins and the lack of interest in anything but yourselves. Where's the excitement in that?" No, you didn't want to generalize the entire Slytherin population, especially since you had family members from that house, but you knew exactly how to rev up Minho's engine. Just by the way his face twisted, you knew damn well you hit the right spot.

"Shut your mouth before I spin you a little too hard…" he said a little bit louder, "I don't find it ridiculous, I just find that us being partners is ridiculous… who in this entire school would want to be partners with you?" Before you could even reply, he had caught you, "That's not from your house."

"Jokes on you, I know plenty of people who would be partners with me," you scoffed, and it was true. There was Jisung who had somehow been sorted into Gryffindor, Hyunjin and their seniors, Bang Chan and Changbin. And there was Jeongin, who was a Ravenclaw. You could list a handful more, but that's beside the point.

"Silence is deadly," he stifled a laugh which had driven you to 'accidentally' stumble over your own feet. This caused him to stumble himself, only he wasn't prepared for it, "I'm blaming you for ending up being my partner. I was hoping someone else would've entered the room. But no, it had to be you."

"You're blaming me? For this?" You shake your head out of disbelief, not noticing that your voice had gone louder. You were catching the attention of those around you and the professors at the front of the room, "You could have found a partner you wanted in the first place but you probably decided to stay back and wait for someone to go up to you. No one wanted to be partners with you, which is why you ended up alone in the first place."

Minho's eyebrows furrowed, eyes almost on fire at what you had just said, "You know what?!"

Before he had been able to continue the banter, Professor Shin had cleared her throat. The glares that they both were sending your way had caused the both of you to stop with the squabbling, "Y/N, Minho, I know we've never talked to the two of you about your constant bickering, but it is simply interrupting the atmosphere of my classroom."

Taken aback, the both of you had stumbled over each other's feet, falling to the ground and causing a domino effect among the rest of the students.

Flustered, you turn to Minho, "That was all your fault, Lee Minho." You huffed and attempted to get up, failing once you noticed that Minho was practically lying on your leg.

"Oh be quiet," he rolled his eyes and dusted himself off, "That was all you! You and your two left feet." The rest of the room was silent, regardless of the incident. All ears and eyes were on the 'love birds,' not entirely sure whether or not they should blame you both on what had just happened.

Sliding out from underneath him, you scoffed, "Don't speak so highly of yourself, Minho."

Minho cackled, "Highly? Of myself?!"

"Stop this instant!" Professor Na had finally mustered up the courage to intervene, anger bubbling in his stomach, "Enough!" The two professors began helping the students up, scolding both of you as they did.

"Five points deducted from your respective houses," Professor Shin said sharply, "And you both are now in charge of polishing the floor every Friday for the following three weeks."

"But professor–"

Minho was cut off, "That, or ten points off for your houses…" And without another word, you both chose to polish the floors after all classes were done for the day.

Day one of polishing the floors was practically the most difficult. Not only did the professors restrict using magic to finish the chore, but the overall idea of doing something alongside Minho aggravated you, which was why you hated dancing with him so much. The comments he'd make, the taunting looks he'd give you, the jokes that were obviously uncalled for, they all were honestly bringing you to the point of near insanity.

At first, both of you had decided to start off on the same side, almost the same corner. But the moment you noticed Minho constantly glancing your way in the corner of your eye, you decided against it, "How about I start at that end."

"Whatever floats your boat," he mumbles, "I don't care."

The tone in his voice hadn't matched yours, which you assumed was polite enough not to spark some type of that energy in him, but it did.

"Whatever," you make your way to the other end, sliding your robe off on the way. You let it hang off one of the benches, making sure it wasn't touching the floor. You rolled up your sleeves and started polishing the further end of the room, a bit relieved that Minho wasn't hovering anywhere within your line of sight. It was better that way.

The second day, you were hoping that you could get through a period of cleaning without hearing Minho's ungodly voice. He had been moving back and forth from one corner to the other, feet squeaking seemingly endlessly against the floor. You wished that the volume of the music could be turned up louder.

"I'm doing more than you are," Minho pointed out. You turned to find that he was standing in the middle of the room, hair messy and beads of sweat lining his hairline. His collar was out of place, and his sleeves were rolled up to his elbows just as yours were. Did he, for some reason, look attractive, or was it the lack of light in the room? Probably the latter.

"What do you mean you're doing more than I am?" you feel your eyebrows knit together in confusion, "I'm doing the same amount of work as you." And you were, but you were working just a bit slower than he was. He had probably sped through his area with the idea that the sooner you both finished, the sooner you were able to leave.

"Just hurry up," he groaned. Minho dragged his feet over to a lone stool, pushing it against the wall before plopping into it. The music continued to play, drowning out the shuffle noises of his feet.

"No," you replied, keeping your speed consistent. It wasn't like you wanted to stay longer. It was the fact that Minho couldn't leave until you were finished that was making you act this way. Maybe if he did his job well, he wouldn't be sitting around doing nothing.

Tile by tile, you continued to carry out the chore given to you, not paying mind to the pair of eyes that were burning holes into your back. You ensured that the areas you had worked on were basically spotless, reflection or not, you assumed that shiny meant clean.

Minho had been humming along to the somewhat catchy tune, foot tapping to pass the precious time he believed you were wasting. Nonetheless, he leaned back and sighed, hoping you could finish in time, so he had time to nap before dinner.

"Why do they even need classes for dancing?" He sighed out. At first, you weren't quite sure if he was speaking to you or if he was just thinking out loud, "I feel like we'd be fine either way…" You turn to look at him, seeing that he was already staring at you down.

"I mean it's going to look nice at the Yule Ball,"

You replied.

"Yeah but not everyone's going… it's a waste of time," Minho had a point, yet you still found it somewhat amusing that the school would want to organize such things.

"I don't see why you don't just skip class if you find it a waste of time," you moved onto another spot and sighed, "No one's stopping you."

"Yeah but who'd be your partner then?"

Not knowing how to react to his question, you keep quiet. Minho decided not to follow up on the problem, thinking that he had said something out of the ordinary.

The sun had reached the horizon when you finished your portion of the room. You stood up to stretch, hearing the joints of your knees and back pop out of exhaustion. It was satisfying to see the difference between the used, scruffy floor and the clean, polished floor.

"Okay Lee Minho I'm finished," without taking a glance at the boy, you made your way over to the record player. You lifted the needle off and picked the record up, slipping it into its sleeve. It didn't occur to you that Minho hadn't shifted in the past thirty minutes, silence filling the room because you turned the music off.

"Minho?" Finally turning to him, you found him sleeping with his head sat back against the wall. His mouth was wide open, practically becoming a makeshift trap for bugs that happened to be flying around. The rest of his body was limp, legs spread out beneath him. It was surprising that he hadn't fallen off yet.

You walked up to his sleeping figure and laughed lightly, wishing you had a camera to capture this moment. It would've been great blackmail. Maybe then he'd start being nice to you. Naturally, your eyes followed the slope of his nose, then to the two front teeth that stuck out from underneath his top lip.

He had bunny-like features, and you didn't mean that in a wrong way. His face was still sculpted nonetheless. Anyone with eyes would have to admit that he was attractive.

"Done staring at me yet?"

You screamed and jumped back, pressing your hand up to your chest as if to calm you down. Looking back at Minho, you find that his eyes were still closed, yet a smirk had replaced his gaping mouth. The number of curse words that threatened to leave your mouth was countless, the embarrassment creeping up to your cheeks. He finally lifted his head to look at you, eyes still a bit droopy from his nap.

"I-I wasn't staring at you," you denied, shaking your head a bit too aggressively, "Well I was… but because I was laughing at how foolish you just looked."

An offended look surfaced Minho's face, scowling at you as he stood, "I have this feeling that you're lying, bumblebee… Anyways, this is where I leave. Finally, after years." He shook his rolled-up sleeves so that the cuffs slid back to his wrists. You let him leave without another word from the two of you, still in a bit of shock at what just happened. You knew he was never going to let you forget that.

You slumped next to Felix as dinner was being served, an expression almost as heavy as your posture. He looked down at you, debating whether or not he should interrupt the mini montage you were probably playing through your head.

"I want to ask you how the cleaning today was but I think I already know just by looking at you," he stated, sliding a piece of roasted chicken your way, "Unless you do want to speak about it. Just eat and the day's over."

You gave him a grateful smile and gestured for him to eat too, eyes lighting up slightly, "I'm actually not tired from cleaning that stupid dance room, but it's just… this thing that happened. It was beyond embarrassing."

Felix snorts and stuffs his cheeks with food. His words came out muffled as he still chose to reply with a full mouth, "What happened this time?"

You glanced towards the Slytherin table, eyes scanning it quickly to get one quick look at Minho before you whispered, "Minho fell asleep waiting for me to finish cleaning. He looked idiotic as he did so I sorta just—how do I say this— stared at him? But it wasn't like I was admiring him, it was more like I didn't want that stupid look on his face to go away. It was amusing."

"And?"

"In the middle of that he went, 'are you done staring yet?' It was like he had a sixth sense or something," you muttered, "Now I feel like he's making fun of me."

"Doesn't he always make fun of you," Felix had yet again stuffed his mouth, so his words were still muffled, "Why does it matter this time?"

"It's different. It's not some useless situation… it was genuinely embarrassing," you poke the food before taking a bite of your own, "He's going to it against me, I already know."

"Don't worry, I'm pretty sure he'll forget it sooner than you will."

"Hey remember when I caught you staring at me?" Minho's voice echoed faintly throughout the room. He stood up to stretch before he crouched back down.

"I never stared at you," you sneered, "And why are you talking about that as if it happened years ago. That was literally last week."

"That's long enough in my book," he retorted, "Good times." A small reminiscing type smile appearing on his lips.

"Can you not start? I sorta want today to be stress-free and you're literally ruining it," you roll your eyes and move onto the next tile on your side. Minho had decided to choose a different record to play today, one the professors had never played in class. It had been hidden behind all the other records being used, and it took Minho a good five minutes to rake through all of them just to get to it.

The songs were more upbeat than the waltz music you were forced to listen to, which was actually much more perfect for cleaning to. It made it a bit more bearable than the last two times you had to clean.

Minho didn't reply, though you didn't see how he switched glances between you and the mechanical polisher in hand. The track had shifted into a faster song, something that was easy to dance to. From where he stood, he could see your knitted eyebrows, eyes dropping from the slight fatigue blanketing over you after a long school day.

Upon awareness that his shoulders were slumped, he straightened himself and sighed. This week had indeed been a long week, and it was evident in some way in both of you. This was the last of the week's labour before he could go and relax while mindlessly saving his homework for Sunday.

The music had been tempting to let go earlier than he should for the week, the steady beat and the catchy melody filling the room.

Putting the polisher and the rag down, he took a few steps towards you, still contemplating whether he should do what he was thinking or not. He was unsure whether it was bizarre for him to pull such a thing. But you did say you wanted a stress-free day, so he thought he should switch up a bit.

He started moving his body to the rhythm of the music, head bobbing as it took over him naturally. It was easier dancing alone than with a partner, that's for sure, but he wanted to invite you.

"Y/N!" He was freestyling, arms flailing and legs bringing him across the room with a swift movement.

You sighed, "What now?" Turning to Minho, you find him in the middle of the dance room, doing what the room was made for. He had a foreign smile on his face, not the usual smirk you'd find him sporting.

"What the–"

"Join me!"

You went through several different emotions in seconds, confusion, amusement, joy, contemplation… how were you supposed to react to a goofy Minho?

"Join me!" He repeated. This time he approached you, hands out in invitation, "C'mon it's fun!"

"Minho, we have to finish this so we can leave, remember?" You tried to keep a stern look on your face, yet you couldn't hold back the smile that had been forcing itself out. Minho suited this look; It was happier and carefree. You didn't know that his eyes would light up when he smiled a somewhat gummy smile.

"I know, but let's take a break," being the impatient boy he was, he took hold of your hands and pulled you up. He led you in a dance that probably wasn't considered a partner dance. He just pushed your arms back and forth like those scenes in the movies.

"Minho!" You finally let out a laugh, feet unable to keep up with his. He was sidestepping left, then sidestepping right, then back and forth, all unplanned. You stumbled, letting out joyful laughter that was rare around Minho. He laughed along with you, eyes disappearing the bigger his smile got.

When your legs had gotten worn out from constant movement, you tripped over one of them, sending you and your dance partner to the ground. Instead of erupting anger that would have usually washed over you, fits of laughter fell in its place, echoing throughout the room.

Before you could ask if he was okay, you hear footsteps enter the room, a confused Professor Shin staring the both of you down, "What are you two doing?! This is not polishing the floors!" The exasperation changed the normal hue of her skin into a shade of crimson.

Quickly apologizing, you get up and return to your so-called 'stations,' not being able to say another word about what had just happened to each other.

You wouldn't admit it out loud, not in front of Minho at least… but that was the most fun you've had in weeks.

Little did you know, Minho felt the same way.

v.

There was a part of you who had gotten used to Minho's horrible dancing after two weeks of dancing classes. After what happened last week, there was a tiny sliver of toleration that had surfaced from both of you. It was mutual. But obviously, neither of you were going to admit it.

Though Minho was starting to get somewhat bearable, there were still days when he'd begin to act up, smirk pinned tightly on his lips while he mischievously pranced about in the dance room. Today was one of those days.

When Professor had slipped the record onto the play, dropping the needle onto the very edge and starting it, Minho had chosen to let his body go heavy, relying on you to haul him around like a giant, weighted ragdoll. You knew he wasn't tired, just judging by the look in his eyes.

"Give it up," you tugged him roughly in one direction, then again towards another, feet hardly following the steps the class was taught the past few weeks. If Minho let his body grow just a bit limper than it already was, his head would have fallen directly onto your shoulder. If you were being honest, you didn't want any attention from anyone else in the room, "Lee Minho, I'm not in the mood for this today, okay?"

Minho's ears perked at the foreign tone that had slipped from your lips, sensing that you were being serious. You would tell him to quit it most days, but never with that tone; It was no fun if you weren't fighting back. Sighing quietly, he had picked his body up and started to follow the eight-count that Professor Shin was practically yelling out.

This minor change didn't go unnoticed by you, feeling his body grow lighter just moments after you'd ask him to quit it. Did he just…?

Other students in the room were surprised that you two were going more than thirty seconds without arguing like a married couple. Many sets of eyes didn't bother leaving the both of you, watching what would happen next in the twist of events.

Minho's feet carried his body swiftly; for the first time, he was guiding you like he was supposed to, but his eyes were glued to his feet, not wanting it to become weird if he were to make accidental eye contact with you. He didn't like how quiet it was between the both of you. The music didn't even do its purpose by filling the silence.

"Are you going to the Yule Ball?" Minho asked awkwardly. He twirled you as part of the dance. He recognized that look on your face which was basically a wordless reply, "That was probably a dumb question." Shaking his head, Minho mentally slapped himself. Never in his life did he fail with words.

"Of course I'm going," you replied rather expressionless, "Why would I not?" You were almost as confused as earlier. Minho trying to make a civilized conversation. Who the fuck was this? It wasn't Minho.

He shrugs, "I don't know… I guess you have a date…?" Minho, what the fuck. He squeezed his eyes shut as if the stone floor would swallow him wholly to take him away from this situation.

As puzzled as you were, you still decided to keep the conversation as it was, "Nope… I think I'm just going with Felix for fun." You tried to keep your tone calm when really you were freaking out. The only thing was you had no idea why you were freaking out, "Y-you?" Facepalm.

"No one."

None of you chose to speak after, not knowing where the conversation was going. The song was slowly reaching the end, which you had wished came sooner. Minho's hands were growing sweaty, and you wanted nothing more than to wipe your hand off. It was getting hot in the room too. Your collar was growing tight, throat itching for water.

Minho's heart was beating a bit too fast for his liking, but it was probably because he was growing tired from the moving. He wondered if you could feel how sweaty his hands were getting. Embarrassing.

"Final counts!" Professor Na called out before the static of the record player replaced the music. The two of the professors had clapped in adoration, overlooking all the students in the room.

Professor Shin had a broad smile on her face, "Beautiful! Gorgeous! Best one so far!" She twirled in place, "Thank you everyone! The Yule ball is in two weeks so I am very pleased with the effort you all are putting into this class! Remember we still have the final class in which you are graded, which I'm sure you all will ace."

"I couldn't care less," Minho mumbled, only so you could hear.

You turn to him, squinting your eyes and tilting your head to express your slight frustration, "You know I'm your partner right?"

"Oh no~ really?," he stuffed his hands into his pockets, "And?"

"And? I don't want to fail this class, even though I'm forced to dance with you," you stated, "So don't you fucking dare fail us both." That tone in your voice was evident once again, catching Minho off guard. The only reason that it had this effect on him was that he was so used to you choosing to fight back. It was like some sort of reminder that everyone around him was getting old, and soon all those around him were expected to be serious.

Nevertheless, Minho shrugs to annoy you, "Whatever."

Instead of answering, you eyed him once more. Your dancing just a few moments ago says otherwise.

You had practically sighed out the total capacity of your lungs as you hung onto Felix's arms on the way out the door.

"What are you sighing about?" He chuckled.

"You already know," you elbowed him.

Felix rolled his eyes and sang, "I saw you guys dancing earlier~."

You pushed him away gently, shock littering your face and posture, "What the bloody hell are you on about now, Lee?"

"You guys actually look cute together when you aren't babbling and all," he grinned innocently. Your heart had the audacity to skip a beat, startling you just as much as Felix did.

"Cute?" You scoffed, "First you said you think he liked me, now this? Are you his wingman or something? Are you trying to get me to like him?"

Felix skipped in his step, "I don't even talk to Minho, Y/N, don't be ridiculous… wait… did you basically just say you're starting to like him?" He gasped, hand slapping over his mouth, which had fallen in shock.

"No," you say flatly.

"Liar," Felix poked at your rib, "Liar. At least confess that you find him less bad."

"Sure, whatever makes you happy, Felix."

When you had fallen out of Felix's line of sight, you let the corner of your mouths turn up slightly. He said we looked cute, you think, only followed by you flicking yourself in the temple.

-

"I thought you were staying here until it closed?" you frown at Felix, who started gathering his stuff. You both had planned on cramming everything in for a test the next day, but plans didn't go as planned when Felix was eager to go back to the dormitories to sleep until the morning.

"My eyes are going to fall out of their sockets if I don't go and sleep, Y/N," he pats your head as if he were talking to a young child, "You can stay if you want. I know how much you hate studying in the common room." He double-checks his area to ensure he hadn't forgotten any of his belongings before patting your head once more. He grins and turns towards the door of the library, leaving you sitting alone at the table.

"Felix ~" You called out quietly, only for him to wave with his back facing you. You sighed and slumped back in your chair, resting your arms on the handles. Libraries were so much better when you had company.

The words in the textbook were starting to turn into blobs of ink, and for a second, you were thinking about following in Felix's footsteps. After moments of consideration, you shook your head and sat up. You'll stay, even if it was against the will of your fatigue self that had been prompting you to leave. This was all your fault anyway. Procrastination was a cruel thing.

Hunching forward, you let your eyes trace over the words, trying to process the information. You rewrote the info you wished to remember carelessly. Your notes resembled chicken scratch, but at this point, you didn't care because it was simply supplementary to your studying. The sun was close to its horizon, and the library was close to empty. It was somewhat more motivating.

Slowly the information had started to get more interesting. It was easier to run through the key terms and ideas listed in the textbook, and you could feel the exhaustion simply leaving your body. I'll finish this one last chapter and then save the rest for lunch tomorrow.

Your focus on the book had hindered your peripheral vision that the presence of another wizard floating over your shoulder went unnoticed. It was only until they had sat down next to you when you finally noticed.

You jumped in your seat, eyes growing wide. You had luckily suppressed your scream with your hand, which you had, out of defense, swung forward, slapping the person in the chest.

"Ow! What was that for?"

"You don't sneak up on people like that, Minho," you rolled your eyes at the Slytherin, shifting away from him before turning your attention back towards the textbook. He scooches closer with intentions of irritating you, pushing his face towards your book, "What are you doing?"

You push him away and stick one of the thicker books between you both, "What does it look like?"

"Studying?"

"You're smarter than I thought, Lee Minho," sarcasm dripped from your voice as you glared at him. Attempting to continue with the final chapter, you miserably fail when Minho interrupts your concentration by tapping his fingers loudly against the wooden table.

"Don't you have anything better to do?" you say numbly, voice muffled by your robe, "I was literally just sitting here and you decide to do this."

Minho shrugs and uses his arms as a makeshift pillow, "I was bored, saw you, here I am, I'm here to stay."

Your eyebrows furrowed at the fact that Minho decided to 'spend time with you upon seeing you. You had no idea whether to feel flattered or irritated, but you knew you were confused. He could've just gone back to the Slytherin dungeons to sit with his housemates, but he saw you and decided to sit with you.

Staring blankly at the bookshelves across from you, you huffed out the corner of your mouth, blowing a stray strand of hair by your cheek. You did say you wanted company. You just weren't sure if it was Minho's company that you wanted. Glancing down briefly at him, and looked back up to the bookshelves.

"Fine," you say after pondering about the idea.

Minho's ears perked up, raising his brows, "Fine?"

"Just don't be loud."

Minho's head tilts in confusion, though he still complies, sitting next to you patiently. You continued to read through the final chapter, which you had underestimated in length. The chapter was a good half a centimetre in thickness. Though it didn't seem as much at first glance, the pages were practically dipped in ink, words covering it from one corner to the other.

You could feel your eyes grow heavy as you delve deeper into the chapter. Your bed was calling for you, but there was no way you were going to give. Not until this chapter was finished.

The library had been silent except for the occasional click of the pen from the librarian's desk. You had been mentally counting down the number of pages left to skim over, eager to feel that feeling of satisfaction you usually get once you finish a task. It was the same feeling as crossing or checking off a chore on a to-do list.

Minho had settled his eyes on the centre of your book, keeping them steady even as you flipped the pages. He felt the lids of eyes gradually get heavier as each page went by, and by the time you shut the book in delight, he had fallen asleep.

"Again?" You furrowed your eyebrows, remembering the last time he had fallen asleep in your presence. You darted your eyes away from his dormant figure, not making that same mistake twice, "Minho, wake up."

He stirs right away, head rising from his arms. This time he says nothing, pushing himself off of the library's chair before stumbling over his own feet as he makes his way to your side. He looked like a toddler, and it was admittedly adorable.

"Why didn't you just go straight to the dorms if you were tired," you snorted at his dumbassery. Some students still littered the halls even if curfew was nearing. Instead of parting from your side at the library's entrance, Minho stuck by your side.

"I wanted to spend time with you outside of class," he grumbles. He blinks at the long corridor in front of you two, eyes barely staying open from exhaustion.

Feeling your heart skip a beat, you tried to pick out if he was joking or not, but his tone screamed, 'I'm tired.' Any other emotion was hard to comb out, so you sighed and shook your head, pressing your lips into a smile, "Sleep that cheesiness off, Lee Minho."

Minho continued to walk next to you, silent and confused about what you just had said. It wasn't like he was drunk. He was well aware of what he just said. Nonetheless, he subtly walked you to the kitchen corridor, parting ways with you with an uttered 'goodbye.'

vi.

Sitting against the stone wall, you watched the rest of the class carry out the dance routine, formation changes and all. You ran through it with them, only mentally as your partner was nowhere to be found, and the class was halfway done.

There were barely any classes left before the final graded run through, and Minho really thought it'd be funny to skip? You would have let it pass if you guys weren't the worst duo in the room, but you guys are the worst duo in the room, which made the situation different.

"Professor Na," You asked quietly, "Has Lee Minho been excused from today's class. Is he ill?" You didn't want to jump to conclusions, keeping in mind that people did have their own reasons. Maybe he had caught a cold or was doing a missed exam that was far more important than dancing.

"No word from Minho, Y/N," the professor hummed back.

You frowned and thanked him, turning back to the main dance floor, students moving in sync. Where was he?

Just as you had finished your train of thought, the door had swung open just like it probably did on the first day of class. Minho stumbled in, hair a mess and a rather sheepish smile stamped on his lips.

"I apologize Professors," he bowed deeply, following the perimeter of the room. He bowed again as he reached the two instructors at the front of the room.

Professor Shin stopped her counting, "No need to apologize to us, apologize to your partner." She gestured towards you, already looking back. Minho nodded and approached you, though when he did reach you, he didn't apologize.

"And?"

"And what?" Minho ridiculed.

"Aren't you going to apologize like what the Professor asked?" You tried not to laugh at how Minho had been acting.

Minho let out a cackle, “No? Why should I? Can you stand up so we can start dancing or something?" His hand was itching to reach out for yours, feeling like he should pull you towards him, but he hindered himself from doing so, stuffing his hands into his pockets.

Instead of pushing the apology out of him, you decided against it, not wanting to waste any of your time, "Why are you even late?"

The two of you followed the crowd, joining in at the perfect time. Minho smirked, "Worried about me or something? I know I'm in your head twenty-four seven, but I didn't expect you to be so obvious about it."

Tightening your grip around his hand, you gritted your teeth, "I wasn't worried about you, nitwit."

"Then why are you asking?"

"Because you made me sit, doing nothing for nearly forty-five minutes?" You reply as if you were pointing out the obvious, "So why are you late and coming to class looking like a mountain troll?"

"Wow, ouch," he sighed, "I slept in. Am I going to hell for doing so? Because I can recall you did the same the first day and got us into this mess."

"This is about you, not me," you applied pressure onto his hands, causing him to stumble back slightly, ruining the rhythm he had built up. He furrowed his brows at you and did the same, only you were somehow ready for it.

"Oh please," Minho rolls his eyes, "You've done the same so you shouldn't even be mad at me."

"I'm only frustrated, not mad, there's a difference," you point out, "And I'm frustrated because we have that graded dance next week. If we fail, it's going to be your fault."

"It takes two to tango," he quoted, "And you already know where I stand on that. I don't ca-"

"Shut up, the professors are looking," you warned, flashbacks to the three weeks you had to polish the floors.

Minho laughed slightly, letting air blow out of his nose. He let his eyes drift down at you, keeping them there for a little too long.

"What?"

"Nothing," he shrugged, spinning you along with the other students, "You just looked way too terrified." The next move had the two of you closer than the initial space between you.

"I don't want to be spending an extra three hours with you after classes polishing the floor," you retort sharply. Instead of holding eye contact with him, you stared at the Slytherin crest on his uniform.

"I know you liked spending time with me, don't lie," he rolled his eyes teasingly.

"I'm not lying."

"You staring at me says otherwise."

"Oh hush about that already, I literally told you that I wasn't staring at you," Inwardly cringing, you felt relief once the music had stopped. You stepped back and eyed down the boy in front of you, "Why do keep bringing that up?"

Before Minho could give reasoning, Professor Na had spoken up from across the room, reminding everyone that the next class was the graded class. Though they wouldn't be strict with grading, he still wanted to see the students' effort 'flowing'. After a chorus of groans, class ended, allowing you to avoid Minho and find your way to Felix.

-

Someone tapping your shoulder had woken you up, head jolting up as if you were frightened.

"Oh I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you," Chaeryeong gasped sheepishly. She was hovering over you slightly, eyes wide. She was changed into her nightwear.

You sat up, only now realizing you had fallen asleep in the common room, "It's alright. What time is it?" You didn't even remember how you fell asleep, but you sure did have a good sleep.

"It's almost midnight," she replied, "I needed to grab water from the kitchen, then I saw you here and figured it'd be more comfortable for you to go to sleep in your own bed rather than this tiny couch."

You grinned, "Thanks Chae… I'll probably get something from the kitchen as well."

She nods and mumbles out a quick goodnight before disappearing to the girls' dorms. You return her farewell before standing up, eyes drawn to the wrinkles your nap had made on your robe. Attempting to straighten the robe and yourself out, you stumbled towards the Hufflepuff house entrance, exiting promptly.

The fireplace had been lit, a few house elves roaming about and carrying out their own duties. They paid no mind to you, as midnight snacks weren't out of the ordinary for Hufflepuffs.

You asked for what you needed, then was given it with no delay, "Thank you." The house elf nods before turning away with a grunt.

You sit at one of the tables, zoning out as you stared at the blazing fire across from you. School was getting a bit more stressful than it usually has, which was probably the reason why you had fallen asleep without knowing. You remember coming back from a long library visit. Maybe you collapsed on the couch once you did.

You made mental notes on the work still yet to be done before the following week, spontaneously creating a headache. Standing up, you figured it was best for you to go back to sleep. Slipping the dish into the sink, you started making your way back to the dorms.

You rubbed your temples and shook your head as you closed your eyes. It probably hadn't been a good idea to be wandering with your eyes closed as you had immediately bumped into something firm.

"Y/N?"

Looking up, you came face to face with Lee Minho, who was just as shocked as you were. He had been dressed down in a knitted Slytherin sweater and pyjama pants.

"Minho? What in the world?"

He backs up after noticing how close you were to each other, "Could say the same 'bout you."

"My dorms are right there," you point just down the corridor, "While yours is in the dungeon…"

Minho blinks before he tries to move around you, eyes avoiding yours.

"What are you doing here?" you grab his wrist, eager to find out why he was roaming the halls. It wasn't unusual for students to be breaking the rules, especially Minho, who loved living up to the stereotypes of a Slytherin. He smirks at the skinship, which prompts you to let go of him, heat rising up to your cheeks without warning. You're suddenly glad it's dim around the two of you.

"I was… taking a walk," he successfully pushes past you and into the kitchen, a glass of water already there for him. He thanks the house elf, leaving the glass, before turning back to you. By the looks of it, it seems like he's been doing this before, like a routine.

Rolling your eyes, you scoffed, "Taking a walk? You're painfully awful at lying." And the pause in his speaking gave that away. You followed behind him, expecting an honest answer as if you deserved to know.

"Weren't you just leaving?"

"But my question is unanswered," you shrugged.

"I answered you, I was taking a walk," he pushed the answer. Putting the cup down, he turned to you, "I have… sleeping problems."

"You just lied again," you nonchalantly, "Just tell me the truth. No judgment. A Hufflepuff's promise." You weren't usually one to push an answer out of someone, but this situation was different.

"You say no judgment but I already know how you're going to react to the truth," he takes another sip of water.

"So you were lying!" You raised your brows, "I knew it!"

"You don't deserve the truth," he sighs. Finishing the cup of water, he starts to make his way out, not even turning to look back.

"Lee Minho!" You groaned. Maybe it was your fatigue self or the fact this felt like some sort of game, but you weren't holding yourself back, "When I said I wouldn't judge, I won't. My mind's open to whatever you're going to say."

Minho spins around to face you, stumbling backward a few more steps before he halts, "I was practicing the dance steps."

No judgment.

The flat expression on Minho's face indicated that he had no intentions of lying this time. He had his hands hiding behind his back, eyeing you just to see if you would live up to your promise. Instead of his expected reaction, he finds you smiling, something he'd only see when you were around your friends.

"Wipe that smile off of your face, bumblebee," he mutters.

"Didn't you say you didn't care about that class?" you quoted, a smirk slowly replacing your smile, "Why are you practicing the steps?"

Minho licked his lips. He was at a loss of words, nothing but the truth occupying his mind… Why the hell not?

"Because you care."

You blinked back at him, lips parting and meeting several times as you tried to find the right words to say. The silence was deafening. "What?"

"Because you care," Minho repeated. He kept his expression still, eyeing you, trying to figure out how you were taking this in.

How would he further explain it? He didn't know. All he knew was that ever since that specific moment between the both of you the other day, he took it upon himself to better his partner dancing. He didn't want anyone else knowing, not you, and especially not his housemates, which was why he chose to stay up late to do this; it was the real reason why he had shown up late to class.

You weren't sure if it was because it was quiet, but you could easily hear your heartbeat as it quickened. You try to cover up the fact that you wanted to freak out, "I don't know whether I should laugh or–"

"Yeah, whatever, shouldn't have told you in the first place," he mumbles. For some reason, he felt his heart lub-dub in a way that it shouldn't. He frowned and sighed, "Just forget it."

"Wait, Minho," you call quietly. He stopped in his tracks and turned, partially facing the wall and facing you. He stared back at you with a vacant look, waiting for you to say something. If you weren't going to be saying something nice, he didn't want to hear it after exposing himself like that.

"'Because you care?'" you frowned, "You can't just say that and leave." You already made up a possible answer to the countless questions through your mind, but it was still unclear whether or not that was it.

"What else do you want me to say?" Minho stuffs his hands into his pockets.

"I just want you to explain it," you reply quietly.

Minho glanced out the window sitting by you both before sitting down on its pane, "Remember that other day… when I told you I didn't care?" You nod and move closer to where he sat, unsure whether or not you should sit next to him or not, "I don't know… you were really serious back then… I guess I wasn't used to that. So I figured…"

There was a quick moment of silence before he huffs, almost sounding defeated.

"Did you know that I genuinely don't dislike you as much as you think I do?" He says out of the blue, throwing you off. You wanted to tell him to sleep it off again—why did moments like this always happen at night?

"I don't either," you say back, "At first I did… but I matured."

"I only ever argued with you out of amusement. You're the only person outside of Slytherin that could out-talk me and it bothered me for some reason," he laughed as if he recalled a memory.

"Me intimidating a Slytherin? Just wait til the others hear about this," you joke. He glanced towards your direction and saw a clever glint in your eye.

"Don't you dare," he holds back a smile before standing up to face you directly, "Or…"

"Or what?" You challenged, "Imagine how Seungmin would react! Donghyuck and Renjun? What about Yeosang and Wooyoung?" You start listing the other well-known Slytherins off of the top of your head, holding back a laugh as you watch Minho's face crumble into an expression that looks far too close to fear.

Minho recollects himself and shakes some sense into himself, "Or I'll make you go to the Yule Ball with me." He hadn't planned on asking you today, but the timing was perfect. It fit with the situation. If you were to react unfavourably, then he could just joke about it.

His question shut you up. Your eyes widened at him as you processed what he had used as a threat, "What if I want to go to the Yule Ball with you?"

Minho takes a step towards you, a smirk appearing on his lips. His confidence was skyrocketing, and you can tell, "Then I guess it's a date?"

Rolling your eyes, you let a smile grace softly onto your lips, nodding, "It's a date."

Bonus:

"I told you to wear something with gold," you whined jokingly as you were greeted with Minho, who had completely dodged your request. Instead of the black and gold look you were going for, he decided to wear a black suit that had traces of emerald. As much you wanted to match with your date, you had to admit that he still looked as handsome as ever in the attire. He looked like a prince.

"And look like a Hufflepuff? No thanks," he scoffed teasingly. He pulls out a corsage, one that matches the clothes he wore, tying it gently around your wrist, "You look very beautiful."

"Well, you look very handsome."

Minho laughed as he sticks out his forearm, a brow raised in your direction. Music being played by the live band had been spilling out of the ballroom; the voices of everyone attending gave the ball more life. It was exciting.

"Minho!" Seungmin had called. Felix, who had slipped from your side the moment Minho approached you, was standing by Seungmin, smiling brightly. He had been hyping you up the entire night, telling you that there should be nothing to worry about.

He was right.

"Shall we?" Minho asked. It was cheesy, but it worked.

"We shall."

Hope you enjoyed it! A like would be appreciated <3

[cuttlefishkitch]

hello! i haven't talked to you before, but ron said that i could ask you for some advice on writing eds? (i'd like to know things to avoid/common things that could come up in everyday life that would be good to mention/the sort of aids and stuff they'd have maybe?/anything else you think is relevant)

Hi! Sorry this took so long, a combination of ADHD and chronic pain slowed me way the fuck down. Thank you for being patient! 

EDIT: WEIRD HEEL THINGS I FORGOT!!

So, before I get into this I should probably say I technically haven’t been diagnosed with Ehlers Danlos Syndrome (EDS for anyone reading) because it’s one of those syndromes that takes forever to get diagnosed with (it took a friend of mine’s mother over 30 years to get dxed). Many doctors, and everyone I know who does have EDS agree with me that it’s probably what causes my chronic joint pain and some of my other chronic issues. But just because three separate doctors have said “Yeah Probably” doesn’t mean I’m diagnosed!! Only a geneticist can do that!! And they had two-three year waitlists BEFORE the apocalypse happened.

I am diagnosed with Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (POTS), Small Fiber Neuropathy, and potentially misdiagnosed with Fibromyalgia (once I get properly tested for EDS I might get undiagnosed with this because I don’t have most of the main symptoms of Fibro, but I got diagnosed with it anyway because it’s what doctors misDX you with when they don’t know what’s wrong with you and don’t want to do more tests).

All that said, I’ve done a lot of research about EDS (mainly because it’s the only thing that explains all my symptoms since doctors seem incapable of doing so), and know a few people who have either confirmed or suspected EDS, so I’ll link to some stuff, talk about the symptoms that often come with EDS, explain how the symptoms I have affect me, because just because someone’s not diagnosed doesn’t mean they aren’t having symptoms, and probs elaborate a bit about writing physical disabilities and chronic pain in general because it’s super important to me! 

So RESOURCES aka how to make sure your post never sees the light of day because you’re linking things and tumblr hates it when people give other people information!!

Youtubers! If you want to know about the day to day of living with EDS or any disability or chronic illness I super suggest finding a youtuber that makes videos about their life. My EDS favorites are

Jessica Kellgren-Fozard

Annie Elainey

Amy Lee Fisher

Websites! If you’re asking random folks on tumblr I’m assuming (and hoping) you’ve already done the basic WebMD google searches and looked over the seemingly ridiculous lists of symptoms and related conditions, so here are a few websites that are made more for people than for doctors.

The Ehlers Danlos Society

OhTWIST (That’s Why I’m So Tired)

ChronicPainPartners (the fact that they have an entire section of articles called “Dealing with Doctors” should really tell you something)

Books! If you feel like doing actual reading! I suggest reading books written by people with Ehlers Danlos, to get a feel for how they portray themselves. I’m not saying steal, but it’s probably a good point of comparison to see how your portrayal feels. (haven’t actually read these b/c my ADHD doesn’t let me read)

Ria Ruse by Morgan S. Ray (a superhero book with a disabled super MC!!)

Mysteries of Maybelle by Imani Benfell (Imani is still in high school and has already written and self-published a book cause she didn’t have enough representation for herself how cool is she!!)

Bodies in Motion by Liana Brooks (tw for pregnancy problems and miscarriages in the link, because it’s a blog post talking about integrating EDS symptoms into the story without explicitly naming them as such)

OKAY, now for some rambling about EDS SYMPTOMS!!!

Ehlers Danlos is one monster of a genetic condition in complexity and variety. There are THIRTEEN different identified types of EDS, it often comes with Mast Cell Activation Syndrome (MCAS) and/or POTS, and can lead to various other conditions like gastroparesis, chiari malformation, craniocervical instability, and/or bad teeth. So if you’re going to be writing a character with EDS consider what other comorbid conditions they might also have. I’m mainly going to be talking about Hypermobile EDS (hEDS) because it’s what I probably have and what I’m most familiar with. That said there is a lot of overlap in symptoms with the other varieties.

I started typing this section and realized I was going to have to break it down even more so we’re going to talk about Chronic Pain, Unstable Joints (Dislocations and Subluxations), Skin Things, Mobility Issues, and Other Weird Shit and how those things get addressed separately.

Gonna get the Other Weird Shit out of the way first. Because EDS is a malfunction of connective tissue it can fuck up all sorts of random things. For instance, I and many other people w/ hEDS have trouble swallowing. Shit gets stuck in my throat, I sometimes choke on and have to cough up food, and pills can be hard to swallow, which sucks cause I take A Lot Of Pills. If it doesn’t cause full-on gastroparesis it can cause IBS or other digestive problems b/c the digestive tract is mostly made of connective tissue. It can potentially cause heart problems even if they aren’t as big of a risk as in some other forms of EDS. Premature osteoarthritis is common because what you need is more joint pain. And Fatigue OH BOY THE FATIGUE. And of course the headaches, can’t forget those pesky migraines can we!

AND piezogenic papules!! I completely forgot!! Piezogenic papules are little white bumps that appear when you put weight on your heel. In some people they hurt, but in others they don’t. They’re technically tiny little herniations of fat peaking through the fascia in the heel. They were added as part of the diagnostic criteria for hEDS in 2017!

Now for Skin Things cause it’s not as big a thing in hEDS as it is in other forms. Basically, in a lot of forms of EDS, the skin is extra stretchy and extra delicate. It bruises and tears easily, people with the extreme versions of this can accidentally scratch something into an open wound if they aren’t careful. My skin is pretty soft and sensitive, I def have the typical velvety skin, and as is pretty par for the course of someone with hEDS my skin is a little stretchy, and sorta delicate. I’m not as tissue-papery as some people get, but I almost always have at least one mystery bruise or scrape b/c existing is hazardous. Most of scars are also pretty normal, unlike the extremely papery and atrophic scars (though I have a few tiny acne scars that are atrophic) that are common with other kinds of hEDS. Something that I DO have is Lots of Stretch Marks, all over my thighs, and even down to my calves. Which wouldn’t be abnormal, except for the fact that I’ve never been over 145 lbs and I’ve never been pregnant. Having a lot of stretch marks or striations in the skin without due cause happens because the structure of the skin isn’t as strong as it is in people with a normal amount of connective tissue.

I don’t have to worry as much about my skin but people that do are usually very careful with adhesives because they can irritate or tear the skin, which sucks when you need a lot of bandaids cause your darn skin won’t do its job.

Now on to the meatier stuff and since I’m mostly working backward let’s do Mobility Issues!! These can happen in loads of ways, but a lot of what causes these in people with EDS are the other two things I wanna talk about. Unstable joints lead to increased risk of injury when doing stuff people with fully functioning joints can do.

For context, I’m an ambulatory wheelchair user, meaning I can walk, but a lot of the time it’s better if use a chair. Mine is mostly for my POTS symptoms, but the fact that my legs aren’t also in absolute agony is a big plus. I use a custom manual wheelchair with a SmartDrive (b/c I’m very fucking fortunate and have good insurance) whenever I leave the house and have to be “walking” for more than a few minutes at a time. I can’t fully self-propel in a manual chair because it would be damaging to the joints in my arms and hands, but the smaller chair is easier to maneuver in less than accessible spaces (like almost everywhere). There was about a month-long span where I used a very cheap and very bulky electric chair while I was waiting on the ideal set up I have now. Before that, I also briefly used, and sometimes still use, an up-right posture cane.

People with EDS have widely varying mobility issues because of how uniquely it can manifest. My cane only gave me a little help with balance because if I used it in any prolonged capacity any pain it took away from my legs was relocated to my arms, and as an artist, my arms are more important to me!

If you’re going to write a character with EDS having mobility issues as a result of their EDS the best thing to do is to narrow down their specific needs. Are their knees complete and utter garbage but their shoulders and wrists strong? Maybe they can get away with using a cane. Can they not stand for longer than 5 minutes because of the vertigo from their POTS? Maybe they need a manual wheelchair. Would propelling themself damage their back and arm joints? An electric chair might be necessary! Plenty of people with EDS use all sorts of combinations of these aides to get around their life, consider how your character’s good and bad days would be. Do they have back up plans if they overestimate themselves? There can be a lot to manage, but don’t let it scare you off! Sometimes I try and make it into a resource management game (because I’m a game designer and that’s what I do), to make evaluating my energy and mobility needs more fun!

But now let's tackle some of the reasons those mobility aides might be needed. Unstable Joints.

Ever stepped wrong and rolled your ankle? It hurts for a few steps and then kinda fixes itself, or maybe it bothers you for the rest of the day and you put it up and ice it when you get home? When I was walking around outside my house that would happen AT LEAST once a month, usually more. Some times I’m sitting wrong and when I get up my knee isn’t a knee anymore and decides to just give out from under me. My knuckles are made of unruly popcorn and they Don’t Want To Stay Home!! Oh! And my shoulder is more often out a little out of its socket than it is fully in.

Unstable joints lead to Dislocations and Subluxations of varying intensity, and some people get them more frequently than others. Some can be severe enough to necessitate hospital visits and even surgery, some subluxations are so banal (like my fUCKING SHOULDER) that you just learn to live with the pain.

If a character is going to be in high action, combat-heavy scenarios, chances are they’re going to be popping out joints left and right. Hell, depending on the severity of their joint laxity they could be doing the same sitting at a desk. Again, it’s incredibly varied. I’d suggest setting some sort of baseline for yourself, of what a character’s joints can and can’t stand up to, and maybe do some research on which joints are most likely to pop out in general (hips and shoulders are big culprits being the wacky ball and socket motherfuckers they are). Then maybe have something pop out or hold up every so often when it shouldn’t cause hey! EDS is kinda just like that! Unpredictable!

Some ways people manage joint laxity is with braces, KT tape, and physical therapy. Braces come in many different forms, since I’m currently getting pretty much no treatment for my shitty joints I use mostly compression braces made for sporty people. It really is amazing how much a bit of tight fabric can do to keep my wrist in place.

More specialized braces often have solid parts to prevent the joints from hyper-extending (bending the wrong way) and causing further damage. If you ever see someone with what looks like diamond shaped rings around a bunch of their finger joints, chances are those are Ring Splints, and are there to keep the finger shaped like a finger. I want to get my hands on some and get some on my hands Very Badly, because my fingers hyper-extend SO MUCH when I type, and it makes my hand pain way way worse.

KT tape is another thing people often use. It’s stretchy tape you put on your skin and it basically functions kinda like a second ligament as well as reinforcing the joint and keeping the bones mostly where they’re supposed to be. The problem with this is a lot of people with EDS have very sensitive and fragile skin like I mentioned before, so KT tape can cause allergic reactions, chronic skin irritation, or just straight up take the skin with it when someone goes to remove it. Hence a lot of folks are really careful with it.

Physical Therapy is kinda the best (and only) treatment for joint laxity aside from Very Invasive and sometimes Highly Experimental surgery. It focuses on strengthening the muscles around the joints so they can do the work all those bone ropes made of body glue can’t. The problem is finding a physical therapist that 1) knows what EDS even is, 2) knows you have it, and 3) knows how to treat it without doing stuff that’ll Phucking Hurt You Worse!! Because exercising wrong with EDS can do Permanent Damage!!!

Again most folks use a combination of all of these things, or have next to no access to them b/c healthcare sucks.

Anyway, on to one of my favorite topics, Chronic Pain!! One of the reasons this post took me so long!!!

Chances are if your character has chronic pain as a result of their EDS there are gonna be some things they hate, including stairs, rain, thunderstorms, stairs, hills, uneven terrain, oh and did I mention stairs??? It’s going to vary person to person, but almost everyone I’ve met with pain from EDS has complained about their knees. For me the most debilitating pain is in my fingers and wrists. They’re by far my least stable joints but I use them constantly for stuff like drawing, typing, and sewing.

Because my joint pain is so wide spread, like most people’s with hEDS, it effects every single part of my day to day life. I can’t carry a heavy ceramic plate, open a bottle, or even use my computer without pain. It’s practically impossible for me to get comfortable in any position be it sitting or laying down, and as you can imagine that makes it hard to sleep a lot of the time. Moving too much hurts, but so does sitting still. I’m constantly taking braces on and off or cracking/stretching my joints so they pop back into place and hurt less.

Also being in pain makes everything else That Much Worse. I get tired way faster than I did before my pain was this bad (I had chronic pain for a while before actually realizing it wasn’t normal to not be able to walk down the block without feeling like your foot bones are trying to escape). My sensory issues and anxiety disorder are more easily aggravated because my base level of comfort is way worse. It fucks with my depression. And OH BOY does it make my ADHD worse because being in pain is fucking distracting as hell and makes it harder to make decisions and switch tasks. Also my ADHD often makes my other symptoms worse cause I forget to take my meds, don’t drink enough water, or can’t find my fucking braces because the item eating black-hole that comes with ADHD stole them. The intersection of mental and physical disabilities is probably a rant for another time though, so back to chronic pain.

Does it suck? Yes, undoubtedly. Is this incredibly debilitating? Of course it is, I spent the last several months unable to feed myself without assistance because there was a staircase between my room and the kitchen and I could only manage to climb it once a day. Is it overwhelming? Definitely, I’ve frequently broken down crying from a combination of pain and frustration because I’m having a bad day and there’s no relief to be found. Am I able to predict when it’s going to rain with uncanny accuracy because any change in barometric pressure makes me feel like every bone in my body is trying to kill it’s neighbors? You bet your fucking ass I am!! Does it sometimes make me irritable, angry, and occasionally dismissive of when abled people get cold or a temporary injury because the stuff they’re complaining about is my life every single day and all avenues of treatment and recovery I have could take years and still not entirely solve my issues? Yeah, and while I deserve a little extra patience I also have to be sure to check myself because I don’t want to turn into someone who’s nasty to be around. Do I sometimes need to sleep for 17 hours straight because it’s raining, I have migraine, and I’m in too much pain to be conscious? Yup, sometimes a few days in a row. Does living in constant pain mean I’m unable to do all the things I want to and does that sometimes make me wanna curl up in bed and never leave? Yeah, it happens.

But! And here’s the big important but, that’s not everything! I still write, draw, and talk to my friends!! It might take me a little longer but I get there. I’m still happy and excitable and make the time to write out five page long posts about EDS because it’s something I’m passionate about! My chronic pain doesn’t stop me. I refuse to let it. I never really wanted to go mountain climbing anyway, so I’m perfectly happy being able to make it up and down the six steps in my house, even if sometimes I have to sit and bump down them on my ass, or crawl up them like a cat. Chronic pain isn’t all I am. It isn’t a fate worse than death. It isn’t the only thing your character should talk about (though I do talk about my pain a lot cause I’m a complainer about almost everything). You can have your character be hindered by their pain, realistically they would be. You can have them seek comfort, support, and relief. Other characters can commiserate and be sympathetic, but it doesn’t mean their whole life is going to be one big pity party, that would be incredibly fucking boring. I know I’d be bored out of my mind.

All that said dealing with chronic pain, especially from EDS, is Complicated. Physical Therapy is the gold standard, but like I said before it can be a long and difficult process, and isn’t always accessible. Stabilization methods like I talked about before can help prevent pain, or reduce it by keeping bones mostly where they belong. Heat and cold help joints, relax muscles, and reduce inflammation but keeping them applied is rough and the relief doesn’t always last. Doctors prescribe anti-depressants, anti-anxiety, and sometimes even anti-epileptic medication to help manage pain, but everyone’s mileage with those varies. And I’m not at all qualified to talk in-depth about narcotics or other heavy duty pain-meds, but suffice to say the war on drugs fucked shit up for people that legit need that kind of help BIG TIME.

Now for my closer/bonus rant about EDS and Disability Writing in General!

Everyone always says write what you know, so if you really want to do disabled people justice, get to know disabled people! Make friends with disabled people, get involved with advocacy groups, consume content made by disabled creators both about disability and not! Disabilities are so fucking diverse, even EDS is such a complex disorder, and comes with so many potential co-morbidities, that practically everyone with it has a unique experience. There’s no way I can fully explain everything in a tumblr post. Hell, even if I could talk to you for hours probably couldn’t give you enough info to answer all your questions (especially since I’m still in diagnosis hell :,) ), so talk to a wide range of people with EDS and other disabilities!! I know it sounds like a lot of work but trust me, disabled people are some of the strongest, raddest, coolest, people you will ever meet that it won’t feel like it.

And don’t be afraid either, the fact that EDS and other disabilities are so wildly varied means that you have a little bit of wiggle room with your character’s experience. There’s so little disability rep out their I think people are WAY to scared to try their hand at writing it. So long as your character is a fully developed person in addition to being disabled, you give some logical thought as to how it would affect their life, and you don’t make their disability the butt of any joke it isn’t difficult to avoid ableist writing. PLEASE WRITE MORE DISABLED PEOPLE AND PEOPLE WITH CHRONIC PAIN/CHRONIC ILLNESS!!

Okay that’s it, again sorry it took so long for me to get back to you! My fingers were being little pests about it, and my ADHD (which is honestly more disabling than everything else a lot of the time lmao) was being an asshole! Hope this helps, and feel free to ask me more questions if you need clarification! It might take me a bit but I do love talking about this stuff.

[prettyinlimegreenboots]

Hey! Thank you so much for writing that last thing for me! Still haven't read it lol, but I got so excited when I saw it was canon era! Could you do "Merry Christmas, motherfuckers" or maybe "well, there are worse ways my Christmas could have ended?" Thank you so much, and have the best day ever!

There are cuss words in this. Hospital stay, IV, stitches, staples and surgery are also warnings in this!

“You doing okay, Racer?” Spot asked, running a hand through his hair, before pressing a kiss to his forehead.

“Well, there are worse ways my Christmas could have ended?" Race looked up at him, a wide grin on his face, despite the pain he was in.

Christmas this year wasn’t what they had anticipated but when did things go according to plan. Race had been in excruciating pain for most of Christmas Eve into the very early hours of Christmas morning. Spot had dropped their twins off at Jack and Kat’s before bringing Race into the ER, only to discover his appendix was inflamed and close to ruptering. The only time things had gone as expected was their wedding day, three years ago. Even their twins’ birth didn’t go according to plan - getting a call just as they were supposed to jump on a plane for a quick get away before becoming dads.

Spot smirked. “You’re not wrong; at least you’re not dead, yet. You’re going to have a simple surgery and you’ll be back on your feet in no time.”

“Stupid piece of skin that doesn’t have any use for anymore.” Race glared at his appendix, or where he thought it was located. “Stupid thing that got infected on our twins first Christmas and is close to busting.”

Spot shook his head. “It’s alright. Amelia and Beau won’t know the difference if we’re there or not. They’re safe with Jack, Kat, Ellie, and Aaron and probably have much more fun than we are.”

“It’s the semantics, Spottie. I’m a horrible parent because I’m not watching them play with their new toys and discover all the joys of the day.” Race threw his head back against the pillow, sighing loudly.

Getting out of his chair, he climbed into bed with Race, pulling him so his head landed on his chest. “Don’t beat yourself up, Race. There will be plenty of time for that as they get older. They’re 9 months old . . . they would’ve been playing with the boxes anyways. I’m sure they’re sound asleep right now, not a care in the world.”

Just as he said that, his cell phone dinged with an incoming text message. Pulling open his phone, he smiled at the photo Kat had sent over. “Hey, look at this.”

Kat had sent them a photo of the twins laying on the floor sound asleep, cuddling the stuffed animals Jack and Kat had gotten for them. “See, they’re fine and they don’t care that we’re not there.”

Nodding, Race ran his finger over the phone screen, smiling slightly. “Still it’s hard.”

“I know it is but like I said, at least you’re not dead.” Spot pressed a kiss to his head. “You’re going to kick this surgery’s ass and be back on your feet in a few days. Just think, you can order me around and wait on you hand and foot.”

Race flashed him a smile. “Something to look forward to.”

Spot smiled at that as a knock sounded at the door. A nurse poked her head in with a kind smile. “Mr. Higgin-Conlon?”

“Tony, please.” He nodded as she pushed open the door.

She smiled at the pair of them as Spot slid off the bed and stood beside it, gripping Race’s hand. “Tony, then. My name is Lina and I’m going to start preparing you for surgery.”

Spot turned her out as she started asking him questions about his health and medications. Every now and then he would feel Race squeeze his hand, and he would squeeze it back. There had been plenty of trips to the hospital in the seven years they had been together but this would be the first surgery for either of them. Logically, Spot knew Race would be okay but there was a tiny piece of him that was scared shitless that something would happen and he would be alone, living a life without Race.

The nurse finished quizzing Race and told them she would be back in a few minutes to take him down to surgery. Once the door was shut, Spot turned to Race, putting his forehead to his. “I need you to listen to me for the next few minutes okay?”

“O-okay.” Race’s voice was hesitant as he had never heard that forced voice that Spot currently had before.

“I love you, I am over the moon, batshit crazy about you. You need to pull through this because if you die, I will not be able to carry on. You’re my saving grace, my wide eyed soul and you give me so much strength. I cannot live in this world without you so Anthony Racetrack Higgins-Conlon, you kick the appendix’s ass and come back to me, you hear?” Spot’s chest heaved as he spat those words out.

Race reached up, hand behind his neck, putting his lips on Spot’s. A searing kiss was shared between the two of them before Race pulled back. “I love you too, pooks and I’m going to beat this. I’ve got too much life left to live and I’ve got at least two kids to watch grow up. You can’t get rid of me that quickly, Sean. I’ll see you in a few hours, handsome, and I expect you to give me a searing kiss, like the one I just gave you.”

Chuckling, Spot pulled him back in for another kiss, this time much more gentle. “I love you, snookums and I’ll be here as soon as they tell me I can come back.”

“Love you too.”

Just as the words left Race’s mouth, the door opened and the nurse came back in. “I apologize but it’s time for us to take Tony down. You can come down with us until we hit the last door.”

As they maneuvered the gurney out of the room, Spot kept pace with them, holding onto Race’s hand, squeezing it as they walked down the hallway. “I’m sorry but this is as far as you can go. We’ll give you a few seconds.”

They walked over to the side, giving them a bit of privacy. Spot leaned over to Race, leaning over to kiss him. “I love you and I’ll see you in a bit.”

“Love you too Spottie. Don’t fret too much.” Race kissed him once more, squeezing his hand before they pushed him beyond the doors.

The doors closed behind him with a loud slam as another nurse came up and smiled weakly at him. “You can wait in the surgical waiting room if you would like. Someone will come talk to you when Tony’s out of surgery.”

He flashed her a smile before following her down the hallway to the waiting room. She motioned inside as he pushed open the door. His eyes scanned the waiting room, another couple waiting along with an older lady. He took a spot in the corner, away from the door, pulling out his cell phone. He opened the text message with Kat, letting her know that they just took Race back.

Within seconds, his phone was ringing. “Hi Kat.”

“Hi Spot. How are you?” He could hear the tiredness in her voice.

He sighed, running his hand through his hair. “I’m alright. They just took him back.”

“Do you want me to come down? I could leave Jack here with the kids and come sit with you.” She offered, as he heard something in the background of her phone.

“No, no you stay with the kids. Don’t leave Jack all alone - he might kill you if you did that to him.” He chuckled. “They said the surgery would be about an hour and half so I won’t be here long. I’m going to go down to the cafe and grab something since I’m not sure how long it’ll be before Race can have any food.”

“The kids are alright. Please don’t worry about them.” Kat said. “Let me know if you need anything and I can bring it up to you.”

He smiled. “Thanks Kat. Keeping the kids is more than enough. I’ll let you know when he’s out of surgery.”

“You’re welcome. Don’t stress . . . he’ll be alright.” She said as they hung up.

He tapped his toes as his eyes swept the room. The door opened as a doctor came to talk to the couple, guiding them from the room, leaving Spot and the older lady alone in the room.

Opening his phone, he went to his photos, starting at the beginning. The album had over 1,000 photos in it, everything from photos of them on dates to their wedding to newborn photos of the twins, and every moment in between. He smiled, as he flipped through every one of them, letting himself get lost in the memories.

He stopped on a selfie of the two of them and laughed, thinking back.

“Spot, come on Spot!” Race whined, giving him a look.

Returning his look, Spot looked at his boyfriend. “Why does Kat want us to take a selfie again? And who came up with the ridiculously stupid name - selfie?”

“Uh . . .” Race rubbed the back of his head, looking sheepishly. “Kat didn’t really specifically ask for a selfie . . . I just kinda wanted one of us.”

Spot looked amused, grinning at Race. “So you use your friend to get something that you initially want? Way to go.”

“So you’ll do it?” Race’s eyes lit up at the prospect.

Spot didn’t say anything, but pulled Race closer to him allowing him to take the photo. At the last minute, Race turned and kissed Spot’s cheek as the photo was snapped.

Swiping through a couple of new photos before stopping on one that made Spot smile brightly.

Tugging on his untied tie, Race needed something to do with his hands. Spot came over and grabbed his hands, pulling him closer to him. Spot made quick work of the tie, before pushing to his toes kissing Race. “Can you believe we’re getting married?”

“No.” Race grinned. “Seems like we’ve been waiting for this day for so long and now it’s finally here.”

Spot smiled, kissing him sweetly. “I’ll be at the end of the aisle waiting for you.”

Their photographer has snuck in and snapped the photo without either of them knowing it until they got all the photos back. He glanced at it once more before locking his phone. Pushing himself to his feet, he headed out of the waiting room, walking in the direction of the elevator. Pushing himself in the back corner, he watched as others joined them on the descend.

Getting off at floor two, the scent of food hit his nose as he followed it. He leisurely walked through the cafe, looking for anything that at least sounded good. He grabbed a sandwich and a bag of chips, checking out before finding a table by a window. Collapsing into the chair, he took a bite of his sandwich before looking out the window. The falling rain captured his mood perfectly - he felt like half of him was gone, and in reality that was true. He and Race had been joint at the hip since the day they became friends, people rarely saw one without the other.

He finished half of his sandwich, opting the throw the rest away. Grabbing the bag of chips, he headed back upstairs, hoping he hadn’t missed the doctor. Slipping back into the waiting room, he looked around realizing he was the only one in there. Settling back in his chair from before, he let his head drop back against the wall. He hadn’t gotten much sleep that night due to the pain Race was in. He was up, soothing Race and giving him pain medicine trying to ward off whatever was happening.

He let his eyes slide shut, sighing. He heard the door open, cracking open an eye as he saw the nurse from earlier coming closer to him. “Sean?”

Sitting up, his eyes were wide as she looked at him. “I just wanted to let you know that Tony is out of surgery and in the recovery room. He did really well and he has a couple of staples in his stomach that will dissolve within a couple of weeks. We’ll come get you soon and you can see him. Do you have any questions?”

Shaking his head, Spot let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding. He smiled at her, watching her walk from the room, leaving him alone once more. Pulling out his phone, he quickly texted Kat and Jack giving them both an update.

The door opened once more, the same nurse poking her head in. “Sean? I can take you back to Tony now.”

Hopping to his feet, he noticed a pep in his step as he followed her back through the winding hallways to the recovery room. Pausing at the door, the nurse gave him a look. “He was awake a few moments ago when I came to get you but he’s groggy. He may not remember a whole lot from today but in a couple of hours he should be good to go.”

“Will he be able to go home tonight?” Spot asked, hopeful at having a little piece of Christmas with the family.

She bit her lip. “Though the surgery went well, we’ll have to see how he is. The doctor is hopeful that he’ll be discharged tonight but we’ll have to see.”

“Thank you. I really appreciate everything you’ve done for Tony.” Spot smiled.

“You’re welcome. Please let us know if either of you need anything.” She pushed open the door. “Also, when he fully wakes up, please press the red button on the remote on his bed - but we’ll be around in the meantime.”

He nodded, walking into the open door and heading to the only bed in the room. His eyes swept Race’s as his chest raised and lowered. Other than the IV in his arm, Spot would’ve never thought anything was wrong. Well, until he looked at his stomach and saw the white gauze taped there.

Sitting in the chair, he laced his fingers with Race’s, squeezing them gently. “Hey you. You made it through surgery with flying colors. They’re not sure if you’ll be discharged tonight . . . guess they’re going to watch you and make sure you’re alright.”

Laying his head on the bed, he relaxed for the first time since late the night before. He listened to Race’s even breath and closed his eyes, quickly falling asleep.

Some time later, he felt something in his hair but his arm was too tired to swat it away. Groaning, he cracked open an eye, not seeing anything out of the ordinary. Closing his eyes once more, he felt something in his hair. Pushing himself up, he looked over at Race, who had a big grin on his face. “Hi.”

“Hi yourself. How are you feeling?” Spot pushed himself to his feet, pressing a kiss to Race’s forehead, before sitting on the edge of the bed..

Shrugging, Race yawned. “A little sore but mostly groggy.”

Spot reached over and pressed the red button as he smiled at Race. “The nurse said you did really well. They’re not sure if you’ll be released tonight but we’ll see.”

Yawning again, Race hummed. “Okay. You doing okay?”

“Better now that you’re awake.” He smiled.

“Sap!” Race flashed him a smile as the door was pushed open.

The nurse came in, checking over Race as Spot stood back, allowing her to pass between them. She flashed them both a smile before telling them the doctor would be in before seeing about getting Race some food.

Spot sat in the chair, sighing quietly, keeping an eye on Race. He was glad he was going to be okay but just wanted to be home with his family. It would definitely be a Christmas they wouldn’t forget for a long time.

Thanks @deliciouspeachpirate for sending this in!!!