#like have you not seen how almost every other dm band dresses for these.

[wolverineblues]

in recent metal twitter happenings, guy gets upset death metal band looks like a death metal band and gets absolutely clowned on for it

[fivelakesinwriting]

Out of Character (Rafe Cameron) Part Eleven

Author's Notes: Thank you for sticking with me through this story. I think this may be one of the longer chapters I've written in a while! I hope you all enjoy it! xoxo

Warnings: Swearing, A little bit of violence, Sexual innuendos - sexual references .

*My work is not to be transferred, copied, translated or reposted to any other sites without my permission. Please see my masterlist for all other works and warnings. Thank you! xoxo

Almost a week had passed and Rafe still had not heard from Gemma. He was beginning to worry something really bad had happened to her after Midsummers. No matter how many times he called the house or knocked on the door, someone told him she was, "not available".

Rafe hung out at the country club with Topper and Kelce on a hot afternoon, standing beneath the shade of an awning while they tossed beanbags back and forth. Rafe and Kelce gave Topper a hard time about Sarah like old times, no one daring mention the elicit affair of Topper and Gemma.

"Just gonna be that...all over the coast." Kelce laughed as he clapped his hands together before he reached for his beer.

"Wow. Seriously? You're okay with this?" Topper replied with a shake of his head as he looked at Rafe.

"The fuck do I care what Sarah does what that Pogue?" Rafe muttered as he pulled his phone out of his pocket to check for any texts from Gemma.

Nothing.

"That's just disrespectful." Topper scoffed as he shoved his hands in his pockets and looked out onto the pristine grass of the country club.

Rafe shook his head and pursed his lips in an attempt from saying something he knew would start a fight.

You'd know all about disrespect, Topper.

As Rafe pulled his hand back to toss his beanbag towards the wooden cutout, his movement stopped abruptly at the call of his name.

"Rafe Cameron!" The voice taunted in a sing-song.

Rafe spun around, his eyes scanning across the fields for the person who called his name. His eyes met the one person he didn't want to see on the other side of the chain link fence of the parking lot.

"Fuck." Rafe breathed out as he dropped the beanbag and quickly made his way towards the chain link fence with his head down.

"Oh, Rafe Cameron!"

"Barry, what are you doing here? You can't be here, man." Rafe stated, panic in his voice as he walked through the fence to where his dealer stood.

"Couple reasons. Wondering why you faked me out on your girl's number. Oh, and why your girl, your sister and her friends jumped me on The Cut yesterday." Barry asked as he walked up close to the taller man, toe to toe with him.

"You saw Gemma?" Rafe asked, his heart racing.

"Yeah, with that Maybank kid." Barry replied with a tug of his t-shirt.

"Fucking Maybank. I'll kill that Pogue scum." Rafe seethed as he ran a shaky hand over his jawline. As he went to turn away from Barry and walk back to the country club entrance, a hand grabbed at his elbow.

"You still owe me, Cameron."

"I'll get your money, Barry. Okay? Just...give me another day." Rafe replied under his breath, his eyes scanning the parking lot for onlookers.

"You gonna pay me with counterfeit money?" Barry scoffed, his grip on Rafe's arm tightening.

"There a problem here?" Topper made his way out to the parking lot where Barry had his grip on Rafe's arm, keeping his locked in place.

"Oh. What's up, Boy Band? Nah. Just leaving. See you later, Cameron." Barry replied with a grin as he released his grip on Rafe's arm and made his way out off the country club property.

"What the hell was that?" Topper asked as he looked from the place Barry had stood to Rafe.

"I don't know, man. That guy is crazy. He just came up here and started talking all this shit. Talking about how I owe him money and shit, and Gemma was out on The Cut with some Pogues." Rafe replied quickly as he shoved his hands through his hair.

"Wait. Gemma was on The Cut? Why?"

"Why the fuck would I know? I haven't seen her since Midsummers." Rafe growled with a glare at his friend.

Topper simply nodded. Rafe pulled his keys out of his pocket and gave a quick nod towards his Jeep, they were going to find Gemma if it was the last thing they did.

**

Rafe felt out of place as he drove his Jeep at a slow crawl through the roads of The Cut, his eyes fixed on the streets for a glimpse of his girlfriend anywhere. He wasn't sure what he would do if he found her, but at that point he just wanted to be sure she was okay.

"Wait. Stop the car." Topper breathed out, his hands on the dash as he leaned forward to get a better look through the windshield.

Rafe stepped on the brakes and put the car in park. He got out of the car after Topper and followed him around the front of the vehicle.

"Sarah! What the fuck are you doing here?" Topper yelled as he jogged after his ex-girlfriend.

"Topper? Me? What you are you guys doing here?" Sarah asked as she turned around, her hand over her eyes to shield them from the sun.

"We're looking for Gemma. Last I heard she was slumming around here with you and some dirty Pogues." Rafe glared down at his sister, his hands stuffed in his pockets.

"I heard about what you did to Gemma, Rafe. Giving her number as collateral for your drugs is fucked up. Even for you." Sarah replied, her glare just as vicious as his.

"So it's true. You guys did jump Barry yesterday." Rafe replied with a nod of his head before his bit his lower lip.

"He pulled a gun on us, Rafe!" Sarah yelled with a push of his solid chest.

"Is Gemma okay?" Rafe asked quietly, his eyes on his feet.

"Yeah. Gemma got away."

"Nice to know Maybank is good for something." Rafe scoffed as he pursed his lips.

"Rafe, I'm over this. If you have such a problem with your girlfriend hanging out with JJ, then deal with it. Stop spending so much time with Barry and spend more time with her. Sort your life out!" Sarah yelled with a poke of his chest.

"My life is fine! Shit, Sarah! Leave me alone!" Rafe yelled as he swatted her hand away from him.

A tense silence came between the Cameron siblings as they stared one another down in the middle of the road. Topper watched, feeling awkward, not sure whether to break them apart or let them tear each other limb from limb.

"Rafe?"

A voice he had not heard in six full days. Rafe felt every nerve ending be plucked, like a string. The hairs on the back of his neck stood up as he turned around for the sweet voice.

"Gemma? Where have you been?" Rafe breathed out at the sight of her. He took the few steps towards her and pulled her body against his, holding her tightly.

"Dad held me hostage like Rapunzel in the house for a few days." She replied as she wrapped her arms around his waist, squeezing him back just as tightly.

"I was worried about you." He muttered into her messy hair. She smelled like dirt and cheap car air fresheners, but he didn't care. He had her back in his arms, and that's all he cared about.

"I'm okay, Rafe." She smiled up at him as his large hands pushed her hair off her face.

"Come have a shower at my place, then I'll take you home. We can handle Anthony Mercer together." Rafe stated before he pressed a loving kiss to her forehead, not caring that Topper and Sarah watched them as they reunited.

Topper's heart seared with pain as he watched Gemma and Rafe together, then as he watched Sarah slip her hand into John B's. He ran his tongue over his teeth then made his way without a word back to the Jeep and into the backseat. He and Rafe didn't talk about what happened with him and Gemma, so he didn't have the nerve to tell Rafe his feelings for Gemma were more than just heartbreak and the right place at the right time after a bottle of vodka.

Topper watched as Rafe pressed another kiss to Gemma's forehead, take her hand and lead her towards the passenger side of the Jeep. Topper knew it was only a matter of time before the facade wore off and Rafe was back in his dealer's DMs more than his girlfriend's.

He could wait.

**

Rafe dropped Topper off at the country club then made his way back to Tannyhill, a hand on Gemma's thigh the whole time he drove. He was afraid if part of him wasn't touching he, she might vanish again.

Rafe parked the Jeep in the driveway and helped Gemma jump down from the car. He led her inside the house without anyone seeing her, he knew with her father working for Ward there might be trouble taking her to Tannyhill first. Rafe didn't care. It had almost been almost a full seven days without her. He would take his chances.

Rafe led her through the house, almost a little too quiet, towards his bedroom. He closed the door softly behind them, locking it, then turned to her to undress her without word.

"I'm sorry about Midsummer. Our fight. That's not how I wanted that night to go." Rafe mumbled as he pulled her shorts and underwear down her legs in one tug.

"I'm sorry, too." Gemma nodded as she held his shoulders for balance and stepped out of her bottoms.

Rafe looked down at her while he unbuckled his belt then removed his pants. He only removed his eyes from hers for a brief second when he pulled his shirt over his head. Their clothes in pile by their feet.

"How did you want Midsummers to go, Rafe?" She asked softly as her fingertips traced his pecs.

Rafe chuckled as he grabbed her backside and lifted her up, wrapping her legs around his waist. He carried her to the bathroom that adjoined to his bedroom, kicking the door shut.

"I mean, I was planning on fucking you in that gazebo on the terrace, under your pretty dress. Or getting you really drunk and just fucking you in the bathroom." Rafe replied as he placed her on her feet in the walk-in shower, then turned on the spray. A small smile on his face as she winced at the cold spray of water against her skin.

"Rafe." She pouted, her hands outstretched to him as she stood alone in the shower.

Rafe leaned against the glass frame of the shower and watched as the water beaded on her body. He wasn't ready to give in to her yet, despite how badly he wanted and needed her.

"Did you fuck Maybank while we were apart?" Rafe asked as he looked her from head to toe, a hand running over his face.

"No. Did you fuck anyone else while we were apart?" She asked with a glare, arms crossed over her chest to block his greedy gaze.

"No. Too busy knocking on your door, asking your dad to let me in." Rafe smirked as he pushed his body off the frame of the shower, pulled his briefs off then walked into the shower with her.

Rafe gently took hold of her arms to remove them from her chest as he stood in front of her. Water droplets from his hair fell to her face as he looked down at her, his arms wrapping around her waist to pull her close.

"I don't do that shit anymore, Gem." Rafe mumbled, his forehead pressed to hers as he held her close to him beneath the shower spray.

"What about the number you gave to Barry?" She asked, the palms of her hands pressed to his chest.

"Yeah, it was hers. But I never use it, and I wasn't going to give him yours. I really don't want another guy sending you pictures of his dick." Rafe grinned with a playful pinch of her side to feel her squirm.

Gemma wrapped her arms around his waist and rested her head on his chest. Rafe held her close to him and let the warm water wash over them in silence.

"Rafe, Dad knows Gemma is here and called her dad. You guys should get out of the shower." Came Wheezie's voice from the doorway of the bathroom.

"Wheezie, what the fuck! I locked my door!" Rafe yelled as he pulled a hand off of Gemma to push his wet hair off his face.

"I know how to pick locks. I have a lot of time to myself." Wheezie shrugged before she closed the door softly.

"My dad is going to kill me." Gemma muttered as she looked up at Rafe.

"Your dad is going to kill me, too." Rafe replied with a soft laugh before he pressed a soft kiss to her forehead. He reached to turn off the shower spray and reluctantly got out to face the wrath of Ward Cameron and Anthony Mercer.

Taglist:

@sodasback @multisimpinghoe @cooper8224 @chicagoblackhawkslover96 @lovelyxtom

*let me know if I've missed you, or you would like to be added. I've removed the accounts that don't populate.

Please let me know what you think if you have a moment! Thank you for your support ! xoxo

Request for OBX are open!!!

[suchalonelysunflower]

You Broke Me First (C.H)

Pairing: former FWB!Calum X Reader

Requested: Yes!

Summary: Based on the song “You Broke Me First” by Tate McRae. You are trying to forget about the man who broke your heart, so it’s a surprise when his name appears on your phone again.

Warnings: Angst af. Language. Mild Smut. Mentions of Alcohol and cheating. Probably one or two grammar mistakes (English is not my first language, I’m sorry)

Word count: 5K

Author’s Note: Requested by the lovely @thebasicbitch-things ✨ I loved writing this piece, maybe because I love the song so much, so thank you for requesting it and I hope I made it justice 💕. Feedback, reblogs and comments are always welcome and appreciated it! You can read my other works HERE. Happy reading! 🦋

@thebasicbitch-things : Can you write a Calum imagine based off the song You Broke me first by Tate McRae?? Like I’m just in a weeping mood. Thank you xxx

Maybe you don't like talking too much about yourself

But you shoulda told me that you were thinkin' 'bout someone else

You're drunk at a party or maybe it's just that your car broke down

Your phone's been off for a couple months, so you're calling me now

The liquid burns your throat, but you don’t really feel it anymore. When the heat starts spreading around the rest of your body is when you know you need another one. And another one. And another one. Anything to keep him from your mind.

It’s ironic how the memory of him still lingers on, even more with every drink you drown. Well, it’s not so ironic as it is shitty. But it’s at times like this, when you’re at a random club in the middle of the night surrounded by strangers trying to create stories of their own while all you want to do is forget, that the only thing your mind can focus on is him.

A year ago:

“Babe?” You heard his voice as he exited the bathroom. Still shirtless and with his boxers on, hanging loosely “Are you okay?”

You sat down on the bed, your naked skin barely covered by the messy sheets “Mhmm” you mumbled, still zooned out in your own thoughts and worries as you saw Calum grab his shirt and jeans from the floor.

It was always the same. He would call or text, you would meet with any excuse, hang out for a while before moving to the bedroom. The same old story of friends who fuck each other, with the same old ending every night: you in your bed watching him get dressed and close the door on his way out.

“Do you really have to leave?” You asked, already knowing the answer.

“I have to”

“No, you don’t have to”

“Y/N…”

You hated that condescending tone. Not only that, but you hated yourself, too. You and this whole messy situation you got yourself into. You didn’t know how bad of an idea it was to accept his proposal of friends with benefits when you already had feelings for him. But who could say no to Calum Hood? Especially with the hopes of becoming something more along the way.

At the beginning it was all you could dream of. The night seemed endless when he hold you close to him, breathing the same air as your bodies collided with each other, creating messes as you explored every inch of skin you had to offer, seeing stars explode with every right touch, hearing each other’s names like prayers coming from your parting lips. It was almost like you couldn’t get enough, almost.

“What? God, Calum, would it kill you to stay the night just once? Would it ruin your reputation of a heartthrob batchellor?”

“What has gotten into you?” He asked in confusion at your sudden outburst “You know the rules of this”

“Oh, the rules. Fuck them”

The rules were simple: Never overstaying, no exclusivity, don’t let others find out, never do anything public… but most importantly: Never fall in love. You had agree to that once, but most certainly broken almost every rule. You’ve fallen in love with him.

“Y/N…”

“It hurts, Calum” You said with glossy eyes “It hurts when you leave, and I- I can’t watch you do that anymore”

Calum’s eyes soften a bit. Debating whether or not he should stay. But after a pleading “Please” from your lips he caved in, laying down on the bed next to you, pulling you closer to him.

You smiled, allowing yourself to drift away in dreams and hopes of him laying next to you for the rest of your lives. Little did you know that those dreams were to be crushed next morning when you find an empty bed and a note with a little ‘sorry’ scribbled on it.

That was the first nights of many where he would lay down with you. Sometimes he would stay till morning and share a cup of coffee with you at breakfast. Other times he would disappear as a ghost in the middle of the night, only leaving the marks on your body as proof of his presence. It hurted, but at least you didn’t watch him walk away. You never watched as he did.

Took a while, was in denial when I first heard

That you moved on quicker than I could've ever, you know that hurt

Swear for a while I would stare at my phone just to see your name

But now that it's there, I don't really know what to say

You feel your friend’s grasp on your arm as they drag you down to the dance floor. Pulling you away from your own pity party as you watch how they sway to the beat of a song you’ve never heard of, soon joining them with the alcohol in your veins rushing towards your brain and taking control of your every move. ‘Tonight is not about Calum’ you tell yourself as you let the music take you away, already feeling the effects of the one too many shots you did earlier. But some things are easier said than done.

It’s funny, how after so many months of not seeing each other you can still feel him in your skin. You memorized the way his hands wrapped around your waist and the smell of his cologne. You could still feel his breath on your neck, the burning kisses he used to leave and the whispers that got lost inside a dream. Even now that you are dancing along to an ear shattering beat, the rhythm of your heart still beats and longs for him.

You can feel yourself in the dire need of another drink, desperate to push those memories away and cleanse yourself from his touch once and for all. You don’t care how many nights it would take, how many people or how many hangovers. You are determined to get that boy out of your system, where he won’t hurt you anymore.

“Y/N!” Your friend yells over the music, gesturing towards your hand “Your phone is glowing!”

You bring your phone to your face, trying to focus on the image that’s plastered across the screen. A name pops up, a name you haven’t seen in so long.

Muttering an “Oh fuck” you press ‘decline’ over and over again, until Calum stopped calling.

Seven months ago:

It’s been two weeks since you last heard from him. It’s been two weeks since he left you alone in a fuzz. It’s been two weeks since he slammed the door and he still hasn’t called.

Maybe he was right and you fucked everything up. But you were sure of your words, you know there’s truth to them, so you stan by them. He will soon realize his mistake, he has to. He wouldn’t leave you like that, would he? He must know he hurt you, he must. The words he said… they are like tattoos on your mind, they don’t seem to fade with time. But you knew it wasn’t entirely your fault. You were as guilty as he was.

For the past two weeks you’ve been glued to your screen, hoping for his name to appear. Taping your screen randomly to see if you’ve gotten a text or a call or a dm or even a fucking email. But nothing ever came.

It wasn’t until you were scrolling down Twitter that you saw it.

It was a paparazzi photo, he was wearing a classic tee and the sweatpants you once told him were your favorite on him. His hair was longer, or at least it seemed like it, his eyes avoiding the cameras as he walked through the busy streets of LA as he normally would. The only difference is the hand that was holding his.

A lump formed in your throat as you opened the tweet to find a thread of even more pictures of him with the mysterious person, grabbing them by the waist and smiling as they came closer. The paparazzi seemed to catch every single intimate moment he was able to show in public, much more than he ever showed you when you were both out and sober, at least. But Calum seemed happy, and that hurt you the most.

A thousand questions ran through your head as you ignored the happy tweets from fans celebrating that his favorite band member finally got a significant other. How long has this been going on? Did he ever tell you about it? You never claim exclusivity, so it could’ve had happen when you were still ‘together’, meaning he choose them. He left you and chose them, replacing you and everything you didn’t get to have without even saying goodbye.

Swallowing the bitterness of the memory with a shot of tequila, you press decline once again and order another drink. What would you say to him anyway? Would you curse him? Would you kiss him? Would he even apologize or pretend that it never happened? The truth is, you don’t even want to know.

You catch some flirty eyes from across the bar, but you ignore them as you try to collect your thoughts on this whole situation, and besides, don’t need another heartbreak at the moment.

“That guy hasn’t taken his eyes off you since he came in” Said the bartender, pouring you another drink.

You lift your gaze towards ’pretty eyes’ over the bar, but he already seemed to have lost interest in you as his eyes scattered all over the room, looking for another person to spend his time with.

“Doesn’t seem like it” You nod toward the other end of the bar.

“What? No, not him. Him!”

They point behind you and you turn around quickly, a pretty bad idea considering how drunk you are at the moment. But wasted or not, you would recognize those eyes anywhere.

Calum is standing in the middle of a sea of people, but his eyes are solemnly focusing on you as he raises his phone to his ear, raising his eyebrows as he hears the dial tone. Almost immediately, your phone starts ringing next to you with the all too familiar name popping out again.

Without breaking eye contact, you press decline once again, standing up quickly as you start to walk up to the nearest exit, trying to get away from him as fast as you could. ‘Tonight is not about Calum’ you told yourself earlier that night, and yet there he was, pushing his way through a drunk crowd to get towards you.

“Y/N!” You hear him call, but you are not stopping. You don’t need this confrontation right now. You don’t want to see him or talk to him. You want to forget him and everything you ever did.

Feeling like your chest is going to explode at any second, you accelerated your pace, not caring how many people you have to push to get to the door as long as he doesn’t find you. Your legs, however, had other plans as they give out due to the mix dizziness and adrenaline you were feeling, just mere meters from the exit. You curse your past self for having so many drinks as you try to get up. But, soon enough, you feel an arm rounding around your waist and pulling you to your feet.

After almost eight months you find yourself reflected in those eyes again. The same eyes that made you feel butterflies in your stomach everytime he looked your way. You couldn’t help but get drawn into them, remembering that the last time you saw them they replaced the desire with anger, shaking you to your core.

He was saying something, you were sure of it because his mouth is moving “What?!”

“I said, Why aren’t you answering your phone?!” He yelled over the music. Your drunk mind can’t decide if you want to slap him or kiss him or cry right there on the spot.

“That’s none of your business! Now please let go of me, I want to go home”

You push yourself away from his grasp “Y/N, please I need to ta-“ He interrupted himself as he watched you almost trip over your own feet again, clearly too drunk to stand straight. In a matter of seconds, he was by your side again, this time pulling your arm over his shoulders so you could lay on him “Wha- How many drinks did you have?”

“As many as I needed” You scoffed, trying to pull away, but his grip on your waist was stronger.

“For what?! Drown yourself?”

“I needed to forget you” Calum clenches his jaw, feeling like his heart was shattered into a million pieces “But that’s clearly not working, given that you are here. Would you please let me go?”

“Y/N you are too drunk to function,”

“Am not!”

“Please, let me take you home. I need to talk to you”

“Leave me alone, Calum. I don’t need you and I most definitely don’t want to talk to you”

You turn your face to him. It has been a long time since you last saw him. He has more curls now, and a little five o’clock shadow, but his yes,,, oh, his eyes. The time stops, or at least it feels like it, it was almost like the first time you saw them, magnetic and filled with something you couldn’t decipher, but now they had something different. They were hurting, pleading, almost begging you for something you didn’t quite understand at the moment, but you know you couldn’t say no to those eyes, at least not here and not in your condition.

So after making sure you could stand properly, you caved “Fine”

I know you, you're like this

When shit don't go your way you needed me to fix it

And like me, I did

But I ran out of every reason

The car ride was as silent as a tomb. The sounds of the city night and the flashing of streetlights were your only source of distraction. You looked through the window, not wanting to make any eye contact with the man that broke your heart. He, however, was anxious for you to spare a glance towards him. Calum’s fingers taped the steering wheel nervously, he wanted to fill the silence with something, anything. But his words came short as he realized that you weren’t the person he knew, you were a stranger sitting in his car. The clothes you were wearing, the state of drunkenness you were in, the anger behind your eyes and words, and the fact that you couldn’t even stan him touching you… that was not the Y/N he knew.

Once you reached the house, you didn’t even wait for him to turn the car off as you practically jumped out of the seat and went to open the door. Calum quickly following you, half of him afraid that you might hurt yourself, the other half afraid that you would lock him out.

He let out a breath of relief as you let him in. Remembering the last time he was here.

Seven and a half months ago:

It was a normal afternoon for the two of you. Things were going well, Calum started to be more open towards you, spending the night, cuddling and hanging out more without the promise of sleeping together afterwards and you loved it. You were having fun as well, you would walk Duke together or cook dinner or just exist together by watching a movie or listening to his favorite songs that you “absolutely needed to hear” And today was no different as you cuddled with him watching one of Netflix’s crappy teenage movies. Things were going well, or so you thought.

You were straddling him, lips melting together as the movie was long forgotten. His hands were cupping your ass, setting a slow pace with your hips as you grinded on him. You whole body was on fire, ready to burst when his lips made their way down your neck, leaving marks that you would later trace with your fingers as you try to hide them.

“Calum,” You moaned softly as he found your sweet spot under your ear, sucking and biting it like only he knew how. Your hands flew to the back of his head, fingers lost in his hair, tugging it lightly every time he met your hips with a dry thrust.

He groaned, drunk to sounds you were making. He loved the effect he had on you, almost as much as the effect you had on him. It was addictive, dangerous. He knows he shouldn’t play with fire, but what a lovely way to burn it was.

You moaned again when you felt his teeth grazing your jaw, finding their way to your lips again. The rolling of your hips was faster, more desperate than before, the friction was almost unbearable. You needed him with a passion “C-Calum…”

“Tell me what you want, baby” He said with a raspy voice, breathing onto your neck “Tell me what you want and I’ll give it to you”

You shuddered at his words, getting dizzy with his touch, his soft groans and his eyes filled with lust, looking straight into your soul, burning like the sun.

You grabbed his head by the sides, pulling him closer until your foreheads pressed together “You” you whispered loud enough for him to hear “I want all of you, Calum”

A couple of hours passed and you were still laying on the sofa, cuddled against the naked chest of the bassist. His fingers were caressing your sides as both of your breathings became even, coming out of your highs.

You felt infinite in his arms, safe and wanted. You wanted this to last forever, to have him only for yourself and be his everything. You craved for more intimate looks, for innocent touches while in public, you wanted to show the world how in love you were with this man that has, not only conquered your heart, but also your soul. You loved him, and you hope with your whole heart that he loves you too.

“What’s on your mind?” He asked, drawing circles down your arm.

You debated on whether to tell him the truth or not. You knew Calum had always denied himself the possibility of love, stating time and again that he doesn’t really believe in it. But you’ve seen a change in him for the last few months you were together. He was more caring, more attentive, staying longer than he should and being there for you when you needed, not only for a quick fuck anymore. Maybe the chances of him loving you back were not as low as you thought.

“I meant what I said earlier, you know?” You ventured, lifting your gaze to meet his. He gave you a quizzical look, not really sure of what you were referring to “I do want all of you, Calum”

He smiled “You have me now”

“Yeah,,, but that’s not what I meant”

Taking a brave step, you pushed yourself forward and kissed him. You were done hiding the feelings you’ve been accumulating over the years, ready to let yourself go and drown on him. Only him.

Calum, however, was taken by surprise. Pulling himself from you.

“I thought we agree on not to catch feelings for each other” He said coldly. Already sitting up and looking across the room for his clothes.

You sat and watched as he got up from his spot on the couch and started to dress as fast as he could.

“Cal-“

“We agreed, Y/N. We said no string attached. Goddammit, everything was going so well, but you had to fuck it up, didn’t you?”

His words hit you like a ton of bricks. Shattering you completely from the inside. You tried to collect your thoughts as the tears threatened to come out, but Calum kept going.

“What the hell were you thinking? What were you expecting? Huh?”

“It’s not my fault that I love you” Your voice sounded broken, weak, and you hated that. How could he be so angry? What gave him the right when you were the one who was hurting?

“Well, it’s not mine either! Is it?” Calum said with exasperation, putting on his shirt.

“I thought-“

“What? That I loved you? Y/N, I don’t love anyone! You knew that when we started this!”

“And what am I to you then?!” You matched his tone of voice, tears were already spilling down your face but you didn’t care. You were fuming “What am I, Calum? A friend? A good fuck? Huh? Was I just a toy that you could play with every time you felt needy? Have you ever thought of me as something more?”

Calum’s stare was cold as ice. He was standing in the middle of the living room, clenching his fists to either side of his body until his knuckles became white. You, on the other hand, were sitting on the couch, crying. But your eyes burned with anger as you saw how carelessly he was invalidating your feelings, throwing everything away just because he couldn’t admit his own. A silent war was being fought between the two of you, both of you so scared but with nothing left to lose.

It seemed like ages had passed before Calum spoke again, grabbing his jacket and heading towards the door.

“Was there ever something more?”

You kept staring at the nothing he left behind, the last thing you heard was the slamming of your front door, leaving you alone and completely heartbroken.

Calum followed you into the kitchen, completely avoiding the living room where he last saw you, where he left you. He felt weirdly unwelcomed as you poured yourself a glass of water without even offering one to him, maybe he was.

You drink your water slowly, thinking that that will give you time to think on what to say to him. Maybe he would start talking soon, but the only thing he does is stare at you from the other side of the kitchen island. “How did you know where I was?” You asked.

“Your friend’s stories. You may have blocked me from yours, but they haven’t”

Then, silence came over you again. It was almost like he was waiting for you to say something, just like you always did. You played this game before, you are not going to cave. You are not going to give him the satisfaction of controlling the situation here.

“I need to talk to you” He finally said, letting his shoulders relax for a bit.

“You keep saying that. But you sure haven’t done a lot of talking”

The tension in the room was so thick that it could easily be cut by a knife. You always wondered what you would say to him, what would you feel the next time you saw him and, right now, you felt like there was nothing more to say. He had no right appearing into your life again, not when you were picking yourself together after he shattered you.

“Y/N, I’m so sorry”

“For what, exactly?” The venom in your voice was palpable, Calum knew this was not going to be easy for him “For leaving me here alone and then got yourself another person to play the ‘couple’ part? For practically calling me a whore? Or for giving me shit because of what I felt for you, knowing damn well you felt the same?”

You tilted your head, waiting for his answer, but it seems you left him speechless. Good.

Calum ran his hand through his curls, staring at the floor then back at you “I fucked up”

“That much is true”

“I’m serious, Y/N” He started walking towards you “I’m sorry for everything, you are right. You always are. I just- I didn’t know what to do! I panicked and-“

“And that’s your excuse of why you ran away instead of facing the problem?”

“I was scared! Okay? Is that what you wanted to hear?” Calum raised his voice. He was now standing a couple of feet in front of you, so close and yet so far away from you “Y/N, I was so fucking scared. You know that I’ve never had a committed relationship before, that I never let things get too far but with you.. God, I never felt the same with anyone like that before not after you. And then you said all of those things and I- Hearing you say that you love me was too much, I couldn’t process it and instead of saying something coherent I just lashed out on you and you didn’t deserve that. I’m sorry”

Calum took a step forward, softly grabbing your hand and intertwining his fingers with yours. He took your silence as his cue to continue.

“You were always there for me, every time I needed you were there. No questions asked, no judging, not waiting for something in return. Always making me laugh, supporting me and letting me take a break from the messy life I have. You were the best thing in my life and I took you for granted. I hate that it has taken me this long to realize that, but I just miss you, Y/N. I miss us, so much that you can’t imagine how much it hurts. I need you with me, please let’s just go back to where we started. Or we can start over, whatever you want! But, please, baby, please don’t leave me”

And just before you know it, Calum cupped your cheek with his free hand and brought your face closer to him, crashing his lips into yours. You responded almost immediately by parting your lips and granting him more access, getting completely lost inside the kiss.

For a moment it felt like the old times, he tastes just like you remember and his touch stills makes your skin erupt with goosebumps. For years you’ve been waiting for this, for him to feel the same about you and love you without any fears or doubts, claiming that he was yours and you were his. You wanted this for so long… but why does it feel so bad?

Gathering all the courage you could manage, you push Calum away from you.

“S-stop!” You said, trembling “Stop, this isn’t right”

He gave you a confused look as he took a step back “Y/N-“

“What about your partner? Calum, did you at least break up with them before you came to find me?” The way he looked at the floor gave you all the answers you needed. You raised your hand to your forehead, suppressing the urge to cry or laugh at his antics “Oh my God”

“I was going to! I swear I just-“ He failed to find an excuse “Things were doing awful between us lately, Y/N. You have to understand, I-“

“What?!” You spat “that you had to make sure I was on board with all of this?! I am not a consolation prize, Calum. I am not a second choice!”

“Baby, I know. I-“

“Don’t call me that!”

Calum took another step back, he has never seen you so angry before.

“How dare you? How. Dare. You, Calum. Coming here after eight months! saying all that shit about how much I mean to you when it’s just bullshit”

“Y/N, it’s not-“

“I’m not fucking finish” You say raising a hand to silence him “Could you tell me, where'd you get the nerve? I don’t get a single text or call or fucking smoke signal from you for eight months, knowing how I felt about you, and now suddenly you're asking for it back? Saying that you miss all that we had? We had nothing, Calum. We were nothing more than just a fuck around, you said it yourself, didn’t you? There was no ‘us’ for you to miss. You made damn sure of that. You don’t miss me, not really. You miss how I made you feel. How easy it was for me to be there for you every time you called, well, I’m tired of fixing all your problems, I ran out of every reason to do it.

And I was so stupid, you know? For believing just for a second that this could actually mean something when it never meant something to you in the first place! Did you even think about how I would feel about all of this? Of course not! Why would you? After all, I’m just Y/N! The one who always gets stepped on, why should my feelings matter? If I’m always going to be there for you and everything you ask for. Well, fuck that!”

“Y/N..” Calum tried to intervene, but you couldn’t hear him.

“You want to know what I did after you left? I cried myself to sleep for weeks, reliving every moment we had, every word you said just before you left. Waiting by the phone for hours just to see if you’d call. I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t eat, I was the living incarnation of death because I realized I lived just for you. Well, not anymore. You said you were hurting, you have no idea what I went through so, I’m sorry, but I don't really care how bad it hurts. I’m done. We are done”

You walk by him and towards the front door, opening it as an invitation for him to leave. Calum, however, remained standing in your kitchen, staring at you with glossy eyes.

“Baby, please don’t do this” He said with a trembling voice “I don’t know what to do without you I’m- I’m broken”

You were still standing by the door. Unmoving and without an inch of sympathy for the man crying in front of you.

“You broke me first, Calum. But I’m all glued back together now, and I did it by myself. Hope one day you could learn to do that too”

And, for the first time in months, you saw him leave.

[be-ready-when-i-say-go]

A Little Bit Like Home

You moving to school has been tougher than Calum would like to admit but there are some moments that make it easier to bear, there are small moments where it’s not so bad. 

A continuation of these two blurbs (Blurb 1 and Blurb 2) Again it’s hella self indulgent. Inspired what really happened to me in my DnD campaign, see this post.  

**Contains spoilers for the Waterdeep Heist from Dungeons & Dragons if you are currently playing that module!!!**

Enjoy my masterlist!

Support me on Ko-fi

___________

“Can I make a perception check on the walls? See if there’s anything else funky in this room?” you ask, clicking over in your browser tab to the dice roller. The DM allows you to make that call and you click on the d20. 

“Your the only one rolling well on those things tonight,” one member of your party, playing an Orc sent out to learn magic and getting packed in with your ragtag group, notes after their failed attempt to pick the lock. You managed to pick that that too, but you chalk it up to you being a Drow Rogue and lock picking being one of your skills. 

“18,” you call out, looking back at your character sheet to make sure you’ve done the math correctly. 

“18?” The DM asks, just to be sure. You nod. “Okay, so you look around the room and there’s not really anything worth noting besides some dirt and blood. But no traps, no buttons in this room.”

“This room,” the entire party echoes laughing. The six of you have just survived barely a lightning trap. Which you still refuse to admit to setting up, but it was definitely you since as the marching order had you in front. 

“We’re going to have to go back to that mimic room,” the paladin of your group declares. Your party was warned that the room at the start of your adventure in this hell of a magic maze could be a trap and a mimic could be in the depths of it. But there was a chest still yet to be opened. However, you took the advice of your Orc and backed out of that room to avoid a fight just yet. 

Your previous encounters in other rooms leaving some of your party is better shape than others. This early in your adventure together the five of you didn’t really want to risk loosing anyone just yet. Lightening and your pirates love of ale seemed to be your only foe at the moment. 

“We should maybe just see what’s in here first,” Calum, playing as a Druid, counters. “Though it seems like if we find yet another key to a door that’s already been picked, it’s might be useless.” 

You know the tease is directed at you. “Hey, look here buddy, I will not hesitate to shoot a quiver into your ass. I see a lock I’m going to pick it,” you defend. 

“Besides,” your party’s pirate starts, “we’ve ducked a lot of rooms afraid of getting into another fight. If they pick a lock or two and we find the key later, at least we can add to the Bard’s collection.”

“Thank you,” you laugh. 

Soon your party’s able to direct their attention back on the adventure and magic maze you’ve found yourself in. You and Calum end up smashing mirrors in a room to avoid any sort of magic in them that would cause your party to fight your soul doubles. This leads to a five minute debate of how to leave said room that didn’t involve shoving the unicorn that your party was tasked with finding up someone’s ass due to a riddle unveiled, Everything you see is mine.

“Wait,” you say, laughing at the argument about who can fit the unicorn into their mouth. It was deemed to be more dignified. Your pirate waits outside the room, still naked thanks to the magic that rips all the clothes, weapons, and armor off of anyone that attempts to leave the room. “Everything you see is mine. If the mirrors are smashed, then nothing can be seen right?”

“No, shards can be face up, so technically things can be seen,” the party’s Bard counters. 

“No, no, you’re onto to something,” the pirate starts. 

“Oh my god, we’re so fucking dumb,” the orc hollers. “Someone cover their eyes. You means us. Anything we can see can’t leave the room.”

Thankfully, you’re still dressed having only attempted to leave the room and letting others continue with their naked escapades. “Holy shit,” you shriek as you direct to your DM how you cover your face with your hood and hold it tight around your eyes so you can’t see anything and step through the door. You’re able to cross completely clothed, swords, crossbow, and pack still in tact. 

“We’re so fucking STUPID,” you laugh. 

Calum’s giggle cuts through the speakers of your laptop. “How were we so prepared to just be fucking naked through the rest of this maze?” He directs to the DM that he redresses, having also attempted several times to brute force the magic door with no success. 

“We never speak of that,” the orc demands through their own laughter. “Never.”

The party comes to a stopping point about another hour later, saying goodbyes before leaving the Zoom meeting. Not even thirty seconds later after ending that call, an incoming FaceTime call comes from Calum. You answer it, wiping at the corner of your eyes. He’s grinning as the call finally connects. The weekend that Calum came up to visit, a friend in the cohort asked you if you’d be willing to going a beginner’s campaign. You had wanted to give the game a whirl but you knew it would be a time suck and asked if it was okay to bring someone else along too. 

After getting a yes from the DM you know you had to convince Calum to join in. It took less effort than you thought for him to join in and the two of you spent a couple hours the night before picking out your characters before you emailed the information back to the DM. Now every Saturday night you and Calum spend about three hours in a Zoom getting into all sorts of trouble. He settled easily on the Druid but spent forever trying to find an artist rendering of his character, Okolian, that felt right. Long black hair with streaks of white was a must along with a single braid as well, which he stole from your character’s look though your hair is all white. 

Slowly, it was decided that Okolian would have blue skin muscular, but not overly buff and refused to wear sleeves in order to wear leather arm bands around his biceps which could easily be mistaken for tattoos or markings of his people. Okolian prefers his staff but is also armed with a sickle and mace. The Calum touch of course was to add ferns rather than feathers. 

“I can’t believe you were going to let me be the one to have to figure out the unicorn,” Calum teases. 

“Hey, it was only six inches. Not that bad.”

He sputters his laughter. “Is that payback for calling you out for picking all the locks?”

“I would never do such a thing but maybe.” 

“Anything else on the agenda for tonight?”

“No not really. Whatever work there is out in the world, I’ll get to it tomorrow. What about you? The night’s still young.”  

Calum shrugs. “A friend was supposed to get back to me about drinks tonight,  but I haven’t heard anything yet. If he gets back within the hour or so, I’ll probably tag along but if not, it’s not a big deal. But you never did tell me about last night. How’d that go?”

You cover your face for a second, remember how many drinks were consumed the night previously. Calum laughs at the slightly panicked look that crosses your face. “There was two drinks too many past my usual limit and I felt it. Big time,” you answer. 

He’s glad to hear you getting out more. It’s in turned made him feel a bit better about getting back to his normal routine, getting dinner more with the guys or other friends. Missing you doesn’t hurt so bad anymore for Calum. He feels most often right before he’s going to bed, when he’d normally curl up into your side and open his arms wide for you to curl up into him. But it hurts less during the day. 

Getting used to the cohort and getting out a couple Friday’s in the month has helped you as well. You don’t feel so chained to your phone, don’t feel so beholden to being there for every text right away. It’s still hard when you start to cook dinner and almost reach out for a second plate still by habit. And in the morning when you’re fixing your cup of coffee your brain still wants to pull down a second cup. Sometimes you do. Sometimes you just give in because you need it. Need to let yourself sit with those feelings. 

“I’ll be sticking with cider after last night,” you tease. “Wine makes me myself too much. Never doing that again.”

Calum’s been privileged to see you wine drunk a couple of times and he can already imagine the type of trouble you nearly got yourself in. “Is your picture on the wall at the bar?”

“Not that bad, but close,” you giggle. 

“What am I going to do with you?” 

It’s just a joke but for a moment it makes you pause--what’s going to happen when you go back for break? Are things going to be different? Most of your clothes and things are still there though slowly more and more has been shipped to you. Is Duke going to remember you? Miss you too?

“Promise me the house isn’t too different?”

Calum furrows his brows, head titling just a little to the side. “What do you mean, baby?”

“Like without me, is it all going to be different when I come back?”

“It’s all pretty much the same here. Duke’s the king of the castle. Still have plenty of hoodies for you to steal and your side of the bed still misses you. I still miss you.”

“No, I--I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like I don’t want you to find ways to cope but I don’t know. What if it never feels right? Like so much has been missed that I just won’t ever fit in again?”

Calum shakes his head. “Babe, no. You still belong. Your shoes still have space in the closet. Your mugs still sit in the cabinets. There is so much of you still here--it’s how I get through the days.”

Maybe that’s what’s rough for you. There’s not much of Calum at your place. There’s none of his dirty laundry that’s halfway hanging of laundry baskets and there’s no bass rumbling and there’s snoring next to you at night. It’s all you, which is nice. But you wish you had a little bit of Calum too. 

“There’s none of you here,” you say softly. 

“I can fix that.” It’s a steady confidence, a nod of his head at statement. “Don’t you worry.”

You two steer the conversation to something lighter before you call it a night. And it’s harder to get up the next morning, to peel yourself out of the sheets. But you do it, you push up with a grunt and get your day started. Coffee, a quick bowl of cereal and fruit. You call Calum right before lunch to check in and then get back to work. 

As the days pass, the conversation the ache gets buried in some stress. However, you get a text about a package to get from the lockers at the front of your complex so shuffle down the path thinking it’s the new mattress pad you ordered. It shipped late last week but you hadn’t expected it to arrive this soon. 

As the door swings open to the locker you spy Calum’s handwritten on the label of the package. What the hell had be gone and done? You pick up the box and kick the door close with your foot before taking it back up to your apartment. Setting the box down on the kitchen counter, you find the scissors and cut into it. Right on top is a small envelope with your name scribbled across it. 

You said you didn’t have anything of me. So I knew I had to correct that. I hope they help. And a little thing from the old man, well not from him. But you’ll understand when you get to that. 

Love you. 

Digging into the box, you notice a few guitar pics, a couple extra t-shirt and then a long thin box. You pick it up, noticing it looks like a necklace. But with Calum you never can be sure. As you crack it open, you laugh, finding a gold chain staring up at you, attach to it is a tiny locket that as a paw print on it. You crack it open though and find a tiny picture of Calum and you inside of it and your eyes well with tears. It’s from your last vacation before you left for school, just two of you reclined on the beach and Calum kissing your temple. 

You draft a text to Calum. Tell Duke it feels like home now. 

[spine-buster]

the storm before the calm (f. andersen) | 1

A/N: The prologue has 150+ notes...I can’t believe what a positive response it got!  Thank you so much for your support, comments, DMs, likes, reblogs, and tags!  It means the world!  Enjoy the first chapter :)

She could be at Early Mercy.

It was all Frederik could think about as he tried to celebrate Bee McTavish’s birthday.  She could be here.  She could be one of these people that keep looking at us, that keep brushing up against Auston and I trying to get our attention.  She could be one of their friends.  She could be in the washroom.  She could be coming, on her way now to Early Mercy, and she might walk through the door and I’ll see her.  It could happen.

That wasn’t to say that Fred wasn’t present and in the moment; having fun with his friends and celebrating Bee and her 24th year of life by buying drink after drink at the bar; but in the back of his mind, constantly, for the last three months – almost four – was the thought that in a random location in Toronto, in a random building, in a random place, he would lock eyes with the girl he’d seen in the middle of the night at Shopper’s Drug Mart and finally find out who she is, why she was crying, and why he was so devastatingly transfixed by her.

Fred had tried to find out who she was since then, almost obsessively so.  He was a man mesmerized and he needed to know.  He had tried to get the name of the band that performed at the function by contacting the heads of the charity, the head of public relations, the human resources manager, the man who answered the 1-800 call desk, even the poor accounts payroll manager whose email was listed on the charity’s website, but nobody would divulge the information.  He wasn’t allowed to know.  They weren’t under the discretion to divulge that information publicly (even though it was a public event).  He contacted the photographer who ended up uploading photos of the night onto his professional website (not one photo of her uploaded – what a load of shit), who expressed he couldn’t remember the name.  He tried remembering the members of his table that he had to schmooze with who could have picked up the name – nothing.  He scoured Instagram – the hashtags, the other girls that were there, the profiles, the tagged photos, the socialites he didn’t socialize with just to see if they had a picture with her or mentioned her by name.  He asked Brendan Shanahan if he knew.  He asked Kyle Dubas if he knew.  He asked every Leaf that was there that night if they caught the name, if they spoke to any of the members, if they took a picture, if it was in the background of another picture, if they remembered any minute detail that would give him a lead.  

Nothing.

His chest has been permanently tightened for almost four months now.  He needed to know.  He needed to find her.

“Serena’s here,” Auston’s voice interrupted Fred’s thoughts as he slammed his empty glass – his fourth of the night, at least – onto the bar beside Fred.  

“Who?”

“Serena – Serena!” he emphasized.  Fred’s face was still blank.  “Serena DaCosta, dude,” Auston said.  “Remember…we were hooking up a while back…”

“Oh.  Right.”

Auston looked at his friend skeptically.  “Dude, come on.”

“What?”

Fred could see the gears shifting in Auston’s head pulling him in two different directions.  Fred wanted to stop him.  Usually when this happened to Auston, it pulled him into conspiracy theory territory.  “Bro…you…you’re not hung up on Bee, are you?”

“NO!” Fred screamed, a look of disgust on his face.  “Jesus fucking Christ, Auston, what the fuck is wrong with you?”

“What?!  You can’t blame me for thinking it!” he tried to defend himself.  “Anytime she’s not in sight you look like someone ran over your dog.”

It’s because I’m looking for somebody.  And I can’t do that when the birthday girl is around.  “You’re a fucking lunatic.  And I know that’s the alcohol talking,” Fred shook his head.

“Then why do you look like someone ran over your dog?!” Auston persisted.  “The city’s hottest girls are in this damn club right now practically lining up to hook up with you and you seem to not give a fuck because of…what?  Hmmm?” Auston waited for an answer dramatically, sticking out his head, raising his eyebrows, and pursing his lips slightly.  “You can’t hate me for wondering.”

“Yes, I can.”

“So what’s the reason, then?”

“There’s no reason,” Fred shook his head again, taking a sip from his drink and hoping Auston would just end it.

But of course, that wasn’t the case.  Auston always had to explore the other side of the gears shifting in his brain – the non-conspiracy theory side.  The side that was – unfortunately – usually right.  “Wait a second…” Auston narrowed his eyes.  “Oh…dude.”

“What?”

“You’re not still hung up on that girl, are you?”

The hairs of Fred’s neck stood on end.  “What girl?”

“Oh, fuck off,” Auston said.  “The girl you’ve been obsessed with the last three months.  From the charity event.  That you haven’t been able to find.”

Fred didn’t mean to hesitate – he really didn’t.  But in his simple hesitation and shaking his head and stuttering out a “N – No,” Auston had him, Auston won, and Auston knew he was right.  

“Brooooooo,” Auston threw his head back in disdain for Fred.  “Let.  It.  GO!”

“Fuck off, Auston.”

“Are you honestly going to be hung up on her for the rest of the year?  For the rest of your life?” Auston kept asking.  “It’s already been three months, Fred.  You couldn’t find her.  You can’t find her.  It’s a lost cause.  You can’t let this dictate your life.  You’ve gotta…you’ve gotta move on.  If it was meant to be you would have found her already, and you haven’t.”

“Thanks, Auston,” Fred rolled his eyes.

“I’m serious, man.  Think about it.  You can’t get hung up on this girl when you don’t even know her name.  There’s so many other things you could be spending your time on, so many other girls you can be paying attention to, that can be paying attention to you, but you can’t even see it!”

Before Auston could continue his lecture, the girl Freddie could only presume to be Serena DaCosta appeared behind Auston.  Her long, wavy blonde hair and plump lips spread into a smile enticed Auston automatically.  “Hey,” Auston smirked.

“Heeeeeeyyyyyyy yyyoooouuuuu,” she drawled out flirtingly, giving him an unsolicited and dramatic kiss on the cheek.  “What are you doing here?”

“I’m here for a friend’s birthday,” Auston said.

“Anybody I know?” Serena asked.  Fred could see the rest of her group of friends approaching them.  He held his breath.

“No,” he said sharply.  Auston knew better than to mention Bee’s name in front of girls like this, after what happened.  Not that he ever did, though, because Auston was somewhat protective of Bee too and didn’t want these types of girls even knowing about her.  “What are you doing here?”

Serena shrugged her shoulders.  “Just had a feeling that I should be out tonight,” she said, her eyes flashing towards Fred.  “Hey Freddie.”  Fred nodded towards her as he took another sip of his drink.  He didn’t even bother.  When her friends approached them, he clocked out altogether.  Serena got the hint.  “Auston, you remember Jessy and Rachel and Loren?”

“Hey ladies,” Auston winked at them, not remembering them at all.  

“Catch you later,” Fred said quickly into Auston’s ear, attempting to get up from his seat to go and find Bee, Morgan, and Tyler.

Fred saw Auston’s hand come up and hold him down.  “Have you met Loren?”

***

“Are you guys going to take a taxi home?” Bee asked as she clung onto Morgan for dear life.  After dancing the night away at Early Mercy, Fred knew Bee was ready to call it a night.  Auston had tried to convince the manager to keep it open (while Serena hung on his arm, nonetheless), but to no avail.  Special rules couldn’t be made for Auston Matthews.  It was law.  The manager was really sorry.  So everybody decided to call it a night.

“Don’t worry, sweetcheeks,” Tyler fumbled around with Auston’s phone.  “Our Uber’s just down the street.”  He looked towards Auston, another ping coming from his phone.  “That girl just texted you five times in a row.”

“Of course,” Auston rolled his eyes.

“Am I still sleeping over yours?”

“Yes.”

“I’m not cockblocking am I?”

“Far from it.  If you’re over it gives a legitimate reason for her not to follow us home.”

Tyler’s eyes widened.  “I’ll call the cops if I need to.”

“Freddie?” he heard his name called by Bee’s overly sweet voice.  “Freddie how are you getting home?” she asked as she approached him, clinging onto the material of his shirt.  

“I’m grabbing an Uber with Auston and Tyler,” he said, holding her in place so she wouldn’t fall over.  He loved seeing Bee like this, if only because she was so poised and in control of herself 99% of the time.  He loved seeing her let loose. 

“Are you going home?”

“Yes.”

“Are you going to be safe?”

Fred giggled at her tone of voice.  “Yes Bee.  I’ll be safe.  I don’t know many people who would jump a six-foot-four, two-hundred-and-forty-pound man.  In an Uber.”

“But you always look so expensive,” she said.  He also loved that Bee had no filter.  “You always dress so nice and wear such expensive things and look put together and I once got told by this lady that people look for people who look rich because --”

“Bee --”

“Because it means they have money and did you know that thieves will actually target people who have sleeve tattoos because it means they have a lot of money if it means they can get all that work done?  So Auston has to be careful too.”

Fred couldn’t help but laugh as he saw, in his peripheral vision, their Uber come up along the curb.  Tyler was waving his arms like one of those flag guys on the tarmacs outside of planes.  “I’ll make sure Auston is safe, Bee.”

“Thank you, you big boy.”

“Alright!  Let’s blow this popsicle stand!” Tyler yelled from the car.  Fred gave one last ‘Happy Birthday’ and kiss on the cheek to Bee before shoving himself into the backseat (why, oh why didn’t they order an SUV?  His legs were going to cramp so bad), pulling an almost-drunk Auston in with him, and ordering Tyler to take the front seat (it should have been him taking the front seat, because, you know, leg room.  Tyler was 5’9”.  He could fit in the trunk.) so they could get on with it.  

Because they had ordered the Uber from Auston’s phone, the driver was bringing them to Auston’s address.  Fred made sure to tell him right from the get-go that he would need to make two stops.  The driver complied easily.  

“Did you like any of them?” Auston asked as he leaned awkwardly into the middle section of the backseat, looking at Fred with beady eyes.

“Like any of who?” Fred asked.  He overheard Tyler making awkward conversation with the Uber driver from the front seat, telling him his name was Inigo Montoya a la Princess Bride.

“Loren thought you were hot.”

“Oh for fuck sakes,” Freddie sighed.  “Auston--”

“Get over her,” Auston said authoritatively.  “She’s not gonna appear out of thin air, Fred.  She’s not just gonna appear in a Starbucks while you’re ordering coffee.  Loren is a real person,” he emphasized.  “With lips, and boobs – nice ones – and--”

“Auston.”

“Will you at least just think about it?” Auston asked.  “I hate seeing you so pissy.  You’re Frederik fucking Andersen dude.  You should be having every God damn girl in this city if you wanted.”

On the one hand, Auston had a point.  Fred hated to admit it, but he did.  Maybe he was too hung up on this.  Maybe he was over-the-top about his search, about his constant thinking about her.  Maybe it wasn’t meant to be, and he was just holding onto a dream that didn’t need holding on to; a dream that needed to stay unfulfilled, undone, incomplete.  Maybe he was trying to force fate – the last thing anybody should do.  

Fred took a deep breath as they felt the car pull up to the curb.  Out the window, Fred could see the façade of Auston’s apartment building.  “I’ll think about it.”

Auston smiled mischievously before winking.  “Atta boy,” he pulled himself up, opening the door to the car.  “Her Instagram is at lorenxoxo.  Thank you kindly, sir,” he directed to the Uber driver, saluting him dramatically.  “Slip into her DMs.”

“Goodnight Auston,” Fred dismissed him.  Fred watched as Tyler and Auston stumbled their way into Auston’s building, getting inside safely.  The car had been quiet from a lack of music, but as he saw Tyler open the door, the opening notes of a guitar riff began to play over the stereo.  

Suddenly, Fred heard the back door opposite his side of the car open, and a body slipped into the backseat beside him, closing the door once they were in.  The first thing he noticed was the abundance of thick, luxurious hair, styled in old Hollywood waves, cascading down the back and side profile, obstructing the view of her face.  Then, he noticed the outfit: a loose, spaghetti strap, silk v-neck top, lazily tucked into tight, seamless black pants, and strappy black heels.  

“Take me to Stewart Street, please,” the woman said to the driver.  Her voice was off, somehow, but Fred couldn’t quite put his finger on it.

“Ma’am – I – I already have a passenger.  I--”

“Stewart Street, please,” she begged, and Fred could hear in her voice that she was crying.

He looked up.

***

Aleida Casillas was crying.  Again.  She felt like she had been crying for months, that her tear ducts were getting their own workout now for how often she used them.  She cried in bed.  She cried in the shower.  She cried in her car.  She cried in her Ubers.  She cried in restaurants.  She cried in restaurant bathrooms.  She cried at her parents’ house.  She cried at her sister’s house.  She cried in her own house.  She cried on her couch.  She cried underneath a blanket.

She cried alone.  

And right now, she needed to get into the privacy of her own home so she could cry there.  But she’d have to cry in the back of an Uber to get there.

As she walked down King Street, she saw an Uber – she knew, thanks to the sticker on the back windshield – pull up and let out two drunken men who scurried into the glass condo building.  She ran towards the car as fast as her heels could carry her before it could drive away.  She opened the backseat door and slipped in, closing it behind her.  

“Take me to Stewart Street, please,” Aleida said to the driver.  She could hear the cracks in her own voice and hoped to God the driver didn’t make some sort of comment about it.  She didn’t think she’d be able to handle it.  She really didn’t think she could sob any harder at the back of an Uber more so than she had been doing the last few months.  Uber drivers in Toronto probably had her on their radar.

“Ma’am – I – I already have a passenger.  I--”

“Stewart Street, please,” she begged, looking down at her feet, her feet in their strappy heels, so she could wipe away her tears before the driver could know she was crying.  She wasn’t really listening to him.  She didn’t really care about what he was saying, truthfully, the other passenger be damned.  Turn it into an UberPool – whatever needed to happen for her to get home.  She’d even pay for the other passenger’s fare.  They could live all the way out in Scarborough.  Mississauga.  Aurora.  Newmarket.  She didn’t care.

“Holy shit.”

She looked up.

***

Fred was going to pass out.  

Her.

It was her.

He was pretty sure that his mouth was gaping open; that he looked like a complete idiot at the other end of the backseat, but his mind couldn’t process what his eyes were seeing fast enough.  The rich, dark brown hair.  The perfectly tanned and contoured skin as smooth and flawless as glass.  The dominant eyebrows that framed her face.  The perfectly cut cheekbones blushed and highlighted.  The lips, full and bow-shaped, painted with a neutral pink instead of the daring red he’d seen so many moons ago.  

Her eyes with their striking hazel irises, were staring directly into his soul.  Again.

She was here.  

In the car.  

Crying again.

“Fred,” his name escaped her lips quietly, the tears immediately stopping.  She was just as shocked as he was, apparently.  Because, really, what were the chances?  To be going home at the same time, to get into the same time…

“It’s you,” he said, not knowing what he was saying.  His brain was still trying to process everything, and it was doing a shit job.  

“It’s me.”

“Ma’am, you’re going to have to leave the vehic--”

“No no, it’s fine,” Fred said quickly, making eye contact with the driver in the rearview mirror, waving him off.  “Take her to Stewart Street.”

“You sure?”

“Positive,” Fred said without even looking at him.  Soon, he felt the gear shift into drive and the driver pull away from the curb.

The girl had begun to wipe the tears away from her face delicately, trying to mask her condition.  As if Fred didn’t catch it.  He watched her for a few moments as she stared straight ahead as to not make eye contact with him, not knowing what to say at all.  What could he say?  That he’d been obsessed with her?  That he’d badgered his teammates and strangers about her?  But before he could overthink it, his mind decided to say the one thing that was true.  “I’ve been trying to find you.”

She didn’t bother to look at him, still trying to collect her tears, her emotions.  “You have?  Why?”

He had to be honest.  “Your eyes,” he admitted.  It was at that point that she looked at him again, the hazel irises stabbing him.  “Your eyes are so sad.”

They were both hyperaware of the verb he used.  Are.  Because they definitely were sad then, and they were sad now.  For a moment, however quick it was, there was an acknowledgement on her face; it soon turned to anger – brows furrowed and lips pursed, looking away again.  “That’s none of your business.”

Fred acquiesced.  He knew that.  Maybe that was too forward of him.  “What’s your name, then?  I – I need to know your name.”

She shot him a glance.  Against her better judgement, she answered him.  “Aleida.”

“Aleida what?”

“Aleida.”

“How did you know who I was…am,” he corrected himself.  

Aleida gave him another look.  “Everybody knows who you are, Fred.  Goalie extraordinaire of the Maple Leafs.  Girls in this city would line up outside your bedroom if only you’d let them.”

It was Fred’s turn to give her a look.  That wasn’t true at all.  Well, not to him.  He could still go around some places in the city without getting recognized – especially when he was alone.  He mostly just kept to himself.  When he was with Auston it was a different story, since Auston’s reputation preceded him.  “Why don’t I know who you are?”

“Maybe you just weren’t looking hard enough,” she said.

That was a joke.  If she only knew what he had been up to.  If only she knew.  “Why aren’t you answering my questions?”

“Why do keep asking them?”

“Because I want to know who you are,” Fred hit back, more firmly this time.  Didn’t she get that?  Didn’t she get the reason why the first words out of his mouth were ‘Holy shit’ was because of exactly that?

“Ma’am, we’re here.  Stewart Street,” the driver said from the front seat.  “Wasn’t a log drive.”  He put the car in park and unlocked the doors, the sound dramatically filling the air.

She took once last look at Fred as she opened the door.  “My name is Aleida.  That’s all you will need to know more.”

And then she was gone.

***

Frederik found himself riding the elevator up to the 31st floor of the St. Regis Hotel.  The elevator attendant marveled at his size, trying to hide the fact that he was staring.  The other women in the elevator – four of them – stared too, trying not to giggle to each other.  But Fred could see their eyes.  He could see their eyes dart towards him and then to one another, smirks appearing on their faces, stifled little giggles escaping them as the elevator rushed up.  

When the elevator pinged, and the doors opened, Fred found himself at Louix Louis, the luxurious, gilded bar that had Torontonians salivating at the mouth.  It was the most luxurious of the luxurious.  Lavish.  Opulent.  You name it.  It was everything people loved about indulgence.  Everything people loved about exclusivity; about standing in line and not getting in; about calling for reservations and being denied; about watching people, seeing people, wanting to be seen, waiting to be seen.  

“Hey Fred,” the hostess winked immediately as he approached her podium.  “Auston’s been waiting.”

“Thanks,” he responded shyly as she grabbed a menu from beneath her.

“Follow me, sweetie.”

Fred shook his head and chuckled to himself as she turned her back to him, leading him down the bar and to one of the booths in the back where he could already see Auston waiting.  And of course, like the sky is blue, Auston was wearing a beanie.  He was the only person in Toronto who would wear a beanie in Louix Louis.

“’Bout time,” Auston smiled as Fred shuffled into the opposite side of the booth.  

“Shut up.”

“Serena, Jessy, Rachel, and Loren are on their way,” Auston winked.

“You didn’t,” Fred deadpanned, thinking this was just going to be a quiet night.  He should have known better.  He should have known better to accept an invitation by Auston to go to Louix Louis.  

“Oh, I did,” Auston smiled.  “She’s into you, bro.”

“Who?”

“Loren.”

“Who’s Loren?”

“Oh, fuck off, Fred.”

Fred rolled his eyes.  He couldn’t care less.  He decided to one up Auston; to tell him what he wanted to tell him ever since he agreed to go out with him tonight.  “I found her, by the way.”

“Found who?” Auston sipped at his drink.

“The girl.  Aleida.”

Auston almost spit out his drink.  “What?!”

Fred nodded his head.  “She got into the Uber the night of Bee’s birthday once you and Tyler left.”

“You’re fucking telling me--”

“Aaaaaaustttooooooonnn!” a perky, overzealous voice cut their conversation way too short.  From the opposite end of the bar, where Fred was let in, he saw the same group of girls from Bee’s birthday make their way towards them.  Their designer purses hung on chains against their shoulders as their long hair, perfectly blow-dried at some salon in Yorkville, moved with their scurried movements.  At Louix Louis, you wanted to be seen in the same booth as Auston Matthews.  

“Hey heeeeey,” Auston smiled, scooting over to make room while the four girls entered all on his side.  The girl Fred could only assume was Loren eyed him like a hawk, the waitress approaching the table not long after to get everybody’s drink orders.

Auston exchanged formalities with the ladies as Fred stayed silent, but he could tell that Auston was pressed about the news Fred had just revealed.  For all Auston seemed like he didn’t care about things and was generally aloof, he could be a snoopy bitch.  A really snoopy bitch.  And Fred could tell Auston wanted to talk about it so bad.

Fred thought he would wait.

But he didn’t.  

“Hey girls, can you help me with something?” he preempted quickly.  “Actually, it’s more so helping Fred.”

Fred’s eyes widened.  “N – No--”

“What do you girls know about a girl named Al-ay-da?” he stressed her name – improperly – eyeing Fred quickly.

“Oh my God.”

“Oh my God.”

“Oh my GAWD.”

“Aleida Casillas?!”

“Oh my God, are you joking?” Serena piped up over the other three.  “There is no way Aleida Casillas didn’t bite Fred’s head off if she met him.  That girl is a fucking cannibal.”

“What?  Listen, all I wanna know is the details,” Auston held his hands up innocently.

“What is there to say about Aleida Casillas,” Jessy quipped, and Fred felt like she was going to break out into the Regina George monologue from Mean Girls.  “You know who her mom is, right?” she directed at Auston, but looked between him and Fred.

“No, I obviously don’t.”

“It’s Dr. Casillas – she’s, like, the best plastic surgeon in the city.  The country.”

“Girls who go to her say she does the best work,” Loren contributed.  Fred so desperately wanted to ask if she had gotten anything done for her to say something like that, but he of course decided against it.  “It all looks so natural.”

“And her dad – he’s like, the best cardiologist in the country,” Serena added.  “I’m not exaggerating.  My cousin in med school once watched him perform a quadruple bypass and a ten hour ventricular restoration.  He’s even done heart surgery on a former Prime Minister or whatever.  He’s been honoured for his work all over the world.  It’s insane.”

“Not to mention the family is loaded.  She’s got everything anybody could ever want.  I mean, Aleida thinks she owns the city,” Jessy said.

“Well…she kinda does,” Rachel said something besides oh my God.  “She’s got all the money in the world, she knows everybody worth knowing, but like, she’s friends with them too, and people want her to wear their clothes or whatever, or come to their bars, or attend their charity events.  I mean, it’s mainly because of who her parents are, but still.  She sings, sometimes, I think, but I think mostly she just shows up places--”

“--she’s a model--”

“—she’s a model, and she’s pretty, and people are, like, scared of her, because I heard one time she, like, ruined the career of some up-and-coming influencer – or was it a designer? – but she ruined his career cause that person, like, didn’t dress one of her friends for an event or something and she went ballistic.”

“She’s a cannibal, like I said,” Serena said assertively.  “She’s a huge bitch.  Why would you want to know anything about her?”

Fred was shocked, to say the least.  The person he’d met – if you could even call it that – in the Shopper’s Drug Mart that night, and the person he’d seen in the backseat of the Uber could not have been the same person.  There was no way.  There was no way that crying girl was a ‘cannibal’.  There was no way.  The family stuff could be true, sure – who was he to question that – but the other stuff?  Ruining a career?  Impossible.  It wasn’t that Fred thought they were lying.  But maybe…maybe they had the wrong girl.  How many girls could be named Aleida?  Maybe they were…embellishing.

“Yeah.  Why would you want to know anything about her?” Loren asked, eyeing Fred like a hawk again.

Fred tried not to make it seem like he was physically uncomfortable every time she looked at him, but he was getting physically uncomfortable.  “She just performed at an event we went to,” Fred explained briefly.  

“I wouldn’t even think of like, doing anything,” Serena took charge again.  “She’ll rip your head off.”

Well Fred knew where she stood.

“Enough about Aleida,” Auston held his hands up again, looking past everybody at the waitress that was bringing their drinks to the table.  “What are we up to tonight?” he smirked.

Fred clocked out.  He didn’t care about anything that was being done or said around him – he didn’t care what those girls were saying at all.  He didn’t care.  He didn’t care.  He didn’t care.  

Casillas.

Her last name was Casillas.

He got up abruptly, asking a passing waiter where the washrooms were.  Auston was too entranced by the girls to care, so Fred had no qualms leaving.  As he made his way towards the washrooms, he pulled his phone out of his pocket.  He typed out her name into the Google search bar .  ‘Aleda Casiyas’

‘Do you mean Aleida Casillas?’

Well fine then.  

There she was on his phone screen.  It wasn’t like she had a Wikipedia page or anything, but perhaps even more important, especially in this city, was that she had her own tag on the Toronto Life website.  The Narcity tag was there too, but that wasn’t as important.  He clicked on the Toronto Life link.  

Aleida Casillas, wearing vintage Jean Paul Gaultier, at Soho House, Toronto.

What Aleida Casillas wore to the premier of Guillermo Del Toro’s new film.

Aleida Casillas is the face for emerging Toronto fashion designer Guinevere Jones.

“I’d be careful if I were you,” he heard an all-too-familiar voice behind him.  “Loren’s barely turned 18.”

Fred spun around dramatically.  

There she was behind him.  

He almost couldn’t believe his eyes.  Almost.  But if she could sneak into the backseat of his Uber, she could appear at Louix Louis.  She could appear anywhere.  And of course, she looked flawless.  Makeup flawless, hair flawless, all of it.  If she really was a model, he could see why.  “What are you doing here?” Fred asked.

“Who isn’t at Louix Louis on a Friday night?” she countered.  

Fred’s head whipped back and forth between the direction of the booth and Aleida standing in front of him.  He was willing to ditch this entire scene.  “Are you ready to talk?”

“About what?”

“Why you were crying in a Shopper’s Drug Mart at two in the morning four months ago,” Fred deadpanned.  “And why you were crying before you stole an Uber?”

Aleida’s face dropped.  Whatever confidence she had in her power and persuasion over Fred left her and was replaced with something else – that something else, Fred didn’t know yet.  But it wasn’t confidence, and it wasn’t self-assurance, and it sure wasn’t was the cheekiness she’d displayed in any and all interaction she’d had with him (however brief) up until this point.  “You don’t want to get into it,” she said, her voice soft.  And for the first time, emotional.

“I do.”

She looked at him.  “Fred.”

“Can we get out of here?”

Aleida took a deep breath.  She tugged on the hem of his shirt as she started walking away.  

He followed her.

She made an abrupt stop at the booth.  When Auston saw her, he didn’t think anything of it, but when he saw Fred behind her, his eyes went wide.  All the girls stopped talking and looked like a ghost had just appeared in front of them. 

“Ohmigod Aleida, hi,” Serena said first.  

Aleida smiled at her, but it wasn’t politely.  She focused her attention back to Auston.  “I’m taking Fred.”  She didn’t give him an option.

“Th-that’s cool,” he couldn’t say anything else to her.  

Aleida looked back at the girls, specifically Serena.  “I’m sorry, who are you?”

Serena’s jaw almost dropped from embarrassment.  It was clear to Fred that despite calling her a cannibal a mere ten minutes ago, Serena would butter herself up if it meant Aleida would eat her.  “It’s…it’s me!  Serena Da Costa.”

Aleida’s eyes flashed.  “Oh!  Right!  From my mom’s clinic!” she exclaimed, her surprise feigned and her polite tone just as fake.  She pointed at Serena.  “You came in with…” she went through the girls with her pointed finger, stopping on Loren.  “You!  How was your eighteenth birthday in June?  Looks like your parents allowed you to get the boobs you wanted.”

Loren looked absolutely mortified.  “I--”

“And your new lips,” Aleida focused on Serena again.  “Isn’t my mom just so great?”

Now Serena looked absolutely mortified.  But it was Auston who looked ready to crawl into a hole and die since she mentioned the eighteenth birthday party.  “Uh--”

“Anyways, see you guys later.  I’m sure one of you will want a nose job soon,” she winked at the group before walking off.

***

“So why were you crying?”

Fred was on Aleida’s couch now, after having followed her home by foot, walking for half an hour.  Half an hour along King Street West, illuminated lights and flashing storefronts lighting the way.  Eager clubbers spilling onto the streets tried to do their part to distract Fred or block him from following, but he was like a man possessed.  His eyes were like a hawk’s on her.  There was no way he was losing her again in a crowd full of people on King Street.

They passed the Shopper’s Drug Mart.  

It was when they happened upon a row of expansive, luxurious, modern townhomes, coincidentally just a few blocks from his building that Fred began to realize that maybe the things those girls were saying were right, or at least partly true.  But the other thing he realized made him want to scream.  He had searched for her for months and she was practically just a few steps away from him?  He understood the universe worked in mysterious ways, but this was just plain cruel.  That she had been so close to him, physically, and he had no idea.  It tore him up.  

They’d gone inside.  She took off her heels.  She’d opened a bottle of wine and poured it into two glasses before standing at opposites ends of her expansive kitchen island, staring at each other, waiting for the other to speak.  It was Fred who obviously broke first.  It was Fred who couldn’t wait any longer; who wanted to get to the bottom of why her eyes were – are – so sad that night, and in the Uber, and tonight.  Because behind her façade, he could see her sadness.  Behind the snarky comments she made towards those girls with Auston, Aleida Casillas was profoundly sad.  

She took a deep breath.  “My uh…my old piano instructor – from when I was a kid – she passed away earlier that day,” Aleida revealed, her voice low.

“Were you close?”

“I think I loved her more than I loved my parents when I was a kid.”

Fred was shocked to hear such a statement come out of her mouth.  Considering that he just learned who her parents were, it was…different for him to hear such a thing.  “Why?”

She shrugged her shoulders.  “She listened,” she said simply.  “No-one ever listens.  No-one ever…no-one ever listens.  To me.  But she did.  She listened.  More than anyone.  And she saw me."

“She saw you?”

“She saw me for who I was and not what she wanted me to be,” Aleida continued.  “She was the best.”

There was a moment of silence between them.  Fred was unsure of what to say.  He knew he wanted her to open up to him, but he wasn’t expecting…this.  Truthfully, he was expecting something completely different.  A breakup with a boyfriend, or at least a fight.  A disagreement with a friend.  A lost job opportunity or a firing.  But not a death of a childhood piano teacher.  “I just couldn’t get over your eyes – the sadness in your eyes.  And it’s still there.”

“Listen.  I don’t know what those girls told you about me tonight.  And I didn’t mean to make you scared that night when I called you Fred and knew who you were.  I just…you made it obvious that you didn’t see me in there.  Nobody did.  And that was a stark reminder to me of her being gone.  Anyway…there…there’s a lot going on right now, and nobody cares.”

He could tell she knew she was rambling; that she stopped herself from revealing too much.  He persisted.  “Nobody cares?”

“Nobody fucking cares,” she stressed before taking a long sip of wine.

“Well, can you tell me a bit about yourself?” he asked.  Her eyes flashed at him, her brows furrowing.  “So I can get to know you?  So I can care?”

“I’m sure those girls told you enough about me,” she commented.  “Whatever people say I am, I am.  Isn’t that how all this works?”

“No, and you know that,” he said.  “You apparently know all this information about me and about those girls with Auston, but why don’t I know anything about you?  Just be honest.”

“Well what’d those girls say about me?”

He paused before taking a deep breath.  “Cannibal.”

“Cannibal?”

“Serena said you were a cannibal.  Your parents – doctors.  Your family – loaded.  All the money in the world.  That you’re a model.  A bitch.  That you ruined someone’s career because they wouldn’t dress your friend for an event,” he listed off.

Aleida’s eyes narrowed at the last bit.  Her tone was as assertive as the click of her heels on the sidewalk on the way here.  “That designer attempted to sexually assault one of my best friends, so you’re damn right I ruined his career.  And I’d do it again in a heartbeat.”

So she was misunderstood.  Or at least her life was.  Fred still didn’t know.  “But what’s the truth?”

“Isn’t there a bit of truth in everything?” she asked rhetorically.  

“You tell me.”

Aleida couldn’t help but let out a chuckle.  “Everything they told you about me is true.  Doctor parents.  Loaded.  All the money in the world.  A bitch.  A cannibal.”

“Yet you cry about your piano teacher dying,” he commented.  Her eyes shot daggers at him at his comment.  For a second, he was sure he was going to die right then and there.  “You’re hiding behind this tough exterior and I-don’t-give-a-fuck attitude but I think you care more than anyone.”

“Don’t you ever use that against me ever again,” she snapped back at him.  “I do fucking care, okay?  Everybody fucking cares, and if they say they don’t they’re liars.  That’s why Serena was practically salivating at the mouth when she saw me and couldn’t handle it when I pretended not to know who she was.  She’ll call me a cannibal but if I’m the shark she’s that fish that attaches itself and sucks the bacteria off my body.”  Her tone was so scathing, Fred had never heard anything like it.  She paused.  “You want to know the truth?  Here’s your truth.  I’m Cuban-Canadian.  My dad is one of the best cardiologists in the entire world and my mother is the best plastic surgeon in the country.  I’ve got an older sister named Alejandra who’s a plastic surgeon too.  I grew up in Rosedale.  I went to private school.  I received the best education.  I have millions and millions of dollars at my disposal whenever I want it and get to spend it however I want it.  People ask me to model their clothes, to go to their events, to say nice things about them.  They want me to sing and play piano and give this air that their event is high-end and exclusive and luxurious just because I’m there – because my presence apparently means something to a lot of people in the city.  And every single one of those people – my dad, mom, sister, her husband, everybody who wants something from me – they look at me, all the time, but they don’t see me.  And for once in my life…for once in my life, I just want to be seen.”

Fred listened.  It was all he could do as she went into her speech.  There were no words of comfort that could be said to her, no grand gestures that could be done to make her feel better.  He barely knew her – really.  He barely knew her.  He only felt a connection to her; to her and her sad eyes, to her tears, to the image of her cathartic crying at two in the morning in a drugstore neither of them had any business of being in at that hour.  

So instead, he stared at her.  He nodded his head in understanding.  Because he did understand, to some extent – how people in their lives look but they never really see.  It was something that bound them together.  In the vast city of Toronto, from the bright lights of King Street West to the luxurious décor of Louix Louis, to the couch they found themselves sitting on sipping on an expensive wine, it connected them.

He took a deep breath.  “So you play piano then?  And you sing?” he asked.  Aleida nodded her head.  He couldn’t read her emotion as she took another sip of wine.  “Can I hear or see you play sometime?”

“No.”

Fred nodded.  It would take a while for her to open up more.  To show him more of herself, to let her guard and her attitude down.  For her to allow him to see her.

But he’d be there for it.

[angrylizardjacket]

the band with no name {Douglas Booth} 2

A/N: 1654 words. A bit shorter, but we’re getting into things now. idk how i feel about it, please give me feedback.

[PART 1]

Flop of The Month, your band, has an instagram account with exactly two posts on it, and Douglas feels like both and idiot, and a creepy stalker, for the amount of time he spends flicking through the two photos without actually liking them, for fear of you realising who he was.

Colson, however, seemed to have no such reservations.

“Look, I’m on their story,” Colson’s grinning from ear to ear as the cast and crew break for lunch the Monday after they’d seen your band play, showing Douglas his phone, and your band’s instagram story. It showed their notifications, highlighting how Colson had liked both photos and followed them, and had the caption ‘how’d the rap devil find us?’ and ‘not complaining tho’. 

“Bloody hell,” is all Douglas can bring himself to say, wearing a half-smile as they made their way to the costume department to get changed before lunch. It had been a low effort day, just jeans and t-shirts, but it was always safer to not eat in costume. Hair and makeup could stay and be touched up however.

Your band’s page had begun the day with 217 followers, and ended it with over a thousand. There wasn’t a link to your personal page, and so all he can do is scroll through your Facebook while waiting for Colson to be ready to go.

Y/N: weird question Y/N: also, hi Y/N: but yeh, weird question Y/N: was your friend last night mgk?

Douglas takes a moment to compose his thoughts before typing out his response.

Douglas: hi back Douglas: and yes.

There’s a few minutes of silence, and Douglas can feel his scalp itching beneath his wig, just a little, but he tries to ignore it.

Y/N: cool. Y/N: well it was nice meeting you guys!! Y/N: looking forward to seeing if ur band is real btw Douglas: probably wont be for a while Y/N: im happy to wait Y/N: if u want me there that is Douglas: if we ever actually play a gig, you’ll be the first to know

You send a blushing smiling emoji back, and Douglas finds himself strangely pleased.

“Is that her?” Colson asks, eyes shining as he pulled on his leather jacket; with his wig and makeup, he still absolutely looked the part. Douglas quickly slipped his phone in his pocket, knowing that a faint blush dusted his cheeks despite his best efforts. As he waffled his way through an affirmation, Colson’s smile just grew wider.

“I still don’t understand why you were being so vague; she probably would have jumped you there and then if she knew you were part of the Motley Crue movie, man.”

“Yeah,” Douglas said, his discomfort mounting at the insinuation, “that’s the problem, dude; first of all, I don’t know if she like the band themselves, or just the music, and if she does like the band,” he paused, shrugging a little, quietly embarrassed, “what if she likes them better than me?”

“They’re all married,” Colson says, like it immediately solves everything.

“Man, you know that’s not the issue,” Douglas sighed, but it’s clear he wasn’t done, and Colson just waited, eyebrows raised, “you know, girls who are like... like... how did you say it the other week? When that girl from Instagram was in your DMs every other minute?”

“Clout chasing,” Colson nodded sagely, suddenly understanding all too clearly his co-star’s apparent fears, “well she doesn’t know who you are yet.”

“Exactly,” Douglas exclaimed, glad the craft services tent was finally in view, feeling himself grow hungrier by the moment, “and I think I wanna keep it that way, just for now.”

“Better pray she doesn’t watch Jupiter Ascending,” Colson snorts, just as Douglas punches him in the arm. 

The next day, he messages you first, sends a photo of himself and the rest of the band out of costume, but holding their instruments, all wearing heels to help make it easier to wear them around set. 

Douglas: the band says hi Y/N: shit, you guys have instruments and everything Y/N: getting less sketchy by the minute

You follow it up with a winking emoji, and a photo of yourself, out in the sunshine, dressed impeccably, makeup dark and sharp, holding a stack of posters beside your head, advertising your band’s next gig; this Saturday.

Douglas: are you inviting me? Y/N: only if you’re saying yes

Your confident coyness amuses him, despite the way the shoes are pinching his toes, and he tells you he’ll be there.

The next day, you send a link to a band name generator, but more interestingly, you send it right around the time he’s getting his makeup done, early in the morning.

Douglas: early start? Y/N: my shop won’t open itself Douglas: your shop? Y/N: mini mall tattoo parlor hahaha

“She owns a tattoo parlor?” Daniel asks, reading over Douglas’s shoulder between takes, “you’d better make your move or Colson’s gonna go for her.” 

“Go for who?” Colson himself calls across set where his makeup’s being touched up.

“You weren’t meant to hear that!” Daniel shouts back, though he’s grinning, and adds, “Y/N. She owns a tattoo parlor.”

“Really, shit man, Doug she’s cool as hell,” Colson muses, before snorting, addressing Daniel, “gimme some credit, I’m letting the man shoot his shot; he’s my bro, not my competition.”

“Thanks man,” with the slightest smile, Douglas puts his phone away as the scene is reset around them, and Colson joins him in the middle of the living room set.

“I expect free tattoos, however,” he says with a faux seriousness, “because if you like her, like really like her, I’m gonna wingman the shit out of you.”

“Seriously?”

“Absolutely, man,” he claps Douglas on the shoulder with a surprisingly sincere expression.

It’s Colson who suggests, the following day, sending a video of Douglas playing the bass, asking if you had any pointers. They’re at band rehearsals again, blasting through their repertoire, when they get to Take Me To The Top, and as the song dies down, Colson makes the suggestion.

“Why are you filming it?” Iwan asks, and Colson’s smile is all teeth where he’s holding Douglas’s phone, answering before Douglas has the opportunity.

“Tryna help impress that punk chick from the band last weekend.”

“You’re actually talking to her?” Iwan asks with a bright, almost incredulous smile, “after everything that happened? She must really like you.” He muses, and Douglas feels his soul leaving this mortal plane.

“Smart move; asking for advice from her, lets her know you think she’s talented, and, well, you know,” Daniel shrugs, wiggling his fingers with a casual air. Douglas frowns, but Colson’s nodding.

“Exactly what I was thinking,” he agrees, and finally Douglas clues in. Dexterous fingers.

“Don’t be gross, guys,” he sighs, already regretting letting Colson help at all, “just take the damn video.”

It only takes thirty seconds for you to respond in All Caps.

Y/N: ARE YOU IN A MOTLEY CRUE COVER BAND

“I’m fucked,” Douglas mutters under his breath, staring wide-eyed at the message.

Y/N: you play so well dude just relax your stance and shoulders Y/N: fkn love take me to the top Y/N: seriously a motley cover band??? Y/N: you just instantly got 100x cooler

“Okay, maybe I’m not fucked,” he concedes after a moment, quietly breathing a sigh of relief.

Y/N: now i have to see u guys play!! Y/N: if that’s alright of course

“Nah, you’re definitely a little bit fucked,” Daniel offers over his shoulder, and Douglas pushes his face away.

“Thanks for the vote of confidence,” Douglas grumbles, and Daniel shrugs bemusedly. 

“At least she thinks you play well,” but Douglas isn’t listening to him, he’s frantically tapping away on his phones, scowling, “what ‘re you doing?”

“Trying to come up with a name for our band -”

“Our fake band?” Iwan asks, arms crossed over his chest wearing an amused little smile, “do we have to play along with this too?”

“Not if you don’t want, just don’t... don’t tell her it’s fake is all.” Douglas offers, and the rest of the band nods.

“So how long are you going to play along with this bit?” Daniel ask, and Douglas heaves a sigh.

“Not sure; until I can trust that she’s not just in it to meet the actual band -”

“Which she doesn’t know you know,” Iwan interjected again, and Douglas nodded a little. After a beat, the rest of the band looked to each other, and seemed to share some sort of silent communication, before turning back to him.

“Okay,” Colson agrees easily, “if you’re serious about this chick you’ve known for five days,” he emphasizes, though Douglas doesn’t seem phased, “if we ever run into her, we’ll pretend we’re in a Motley Crue cover band.” He agrees, while Iwan and Daniel silently agree, though they look rather amused at the whole situation.

“There’s just something about her,” Douglas muses quietly.

“It’s the fact that she’s the coolest chick you’ve ever met,” Colson tells him with far too much authority, “and your little posh, school-boy brain wants to try something new.”

“Hey -” Douglas scoffed, though he was quickly talked over.

“She looks like she’d punch me in the face but I’d be okay with it,” Iwan adds, which, strangely enough, the rest of them agree to with various mischievous smiles. Douglas doesn’t exactly deny that he feels the same way.

“What’s our band name gonna be?” Daniel asks finally.

“The Fourskins,” Colson answers back immediately, grinning wide and proud of himself.

“Absolutely no-”

“That’s kind of genius,” Daniel snorts over Douglas’ protest, and so, on a three-to-one vote, their fake Motley Crue cover band is named The Fourskins, and Douglas kind of thinks he’d rather come clean there and then to you, rather than suffer through ever typing or saying that name to you. But he doesn’t. 

He really hopes you’re worth it.

[hopes4gf]

Thievery and Mischief- (a descendants/marvel crossover)

1 month later, me and Jay officially public! Which took extreme relief off my chest obviously. Everyone in my interviews constantly asks me about Jay and our relationship. Questions like: How do you spend time with him? What is he like with you? What are some cute things he does for you? Where have you gone together? So on and so forth. 

To be very honest, it’s intimidating knowing that we were destined to be enemies and suddenly fall for each other  AND try to keep it private. It’s super taboo among all the royals; Heroes and Villains hooking up and dating. Anyways, enough about that. 

Among all the chaos of being a celebrity, I decided to mix some music and release an album. So, I usually head to the AV club to record.

While I’m writing some of my lyrics, I think of a beat to lay down. But then I remember that my producer, Yoongi is at interviews with Namjoon and the rest of the boys. Suddenly, almost like the gods above heard my thoughts, Jay walks in.

”I knew you’d be in here,” Jay says, opening the door and seeing me in the booth.

”I’m always here now,” I say with a smile.

He walks over and plants a kiss on my cheek.

”What’re you working on this time?” Jay asks.

”This damn album. I have a couple of songs done already with Yoongi and Joon but we had to pull some things. Drafts, in other words. So, now I have to fill those in with songs from scratch,” I say.

”Ah, I see. So then, what’s the theme of the album?” Jay asks.

”Unrequited love. So like cheating, fantasies, and low-key bad bitch energies,” I describe.

He chuckles at my description and takes my sketchbook from my hands.

”Hmm, unrequited love. That song you first showed me a while ago should work. And...how about this one? Fools? Never seen this one,” Jay says, stumbling on one of my pages.

”That song...I wrote when I saw Chad’s DMS. I wrote it in like...five minutes,” I note.

Jay’s eyes widened, impressed by my quick songwriting skills.

”Well then, we should put it on a beat,” Jay says, getting up to sit in the producers' deck.

”What’re you doing?” I ask, through the mic.

”I’ll whip something up for you, we’ll work on it if you want, put your vocals on it and we’d be done in like 20 minutes,” Jay explains.

”I have to record 4 songs,” I add, furrowing my brows.

”Bet, we’ll be done in 2 hours,” Jay says.

I roll my eyes at his antics.

I listen through my headphones and hear the different beats being mixed. The bass, the melody, the dynamics of the drums with the SFX. 

I watch as he grabs an electric guitar and strums a couple of chords. I laugh as he catches me staring at him. His eyes focus on the strings of the guitar as he strums. Then, he switches back to the monitors, adjusting the bpm and tuning the guitar recording. I watch as he bites his tongue and furrows his brows as he focuses on the monitor in front of him.

He turns to me and presses the listen button.

”I’m done! Just listen to it,” He says.

He presses play and I hear some tropical whistles at the beginning leading to a synth beat. It’s a very head bop vibe, like a road trip song. I hear his guitar in the back very faintly behind the synth. Then a pause until the smoother synth emerges. My head hops along to the beat of the track. I look at him and smile through the booth window. He winks in pride as he sees me enjoying the song.

Then, it finishes.

”I think I’d like to lay some vocals down,” I say into the mic.

”Woah there, not too hasty. We gotta establish a melody first,” Jay says with a smirk.

I laugh and leave the booth, I join him by the desk with my book ready in hand.

We listen to the track over and over again. Figuring out what notes to hit, figuring out the tones, dynamics, and rhythms my voice is going to establish. While I’m humming along to the track, Jay suddenly stops it.

”I think you should start recording,” Jay suggests.

A nervous blush crosses my face.

”But we still have to figure out the backup and effects and-“ 

He covers my nervousness by kissing my lips. He lays a sweet and loving kiss on my lips and pulls away once I’m relaxed.

”Baby, you’ll be perfect. We’re gonna get these songs done, you’re gonna get this album done, you’re gonna get all the awards for this album and you’re gonna be a superstar. And don’t worry about me, because I’m gonna be right here when you do, okay?” Jay assures, staring into my hazel eyes with deep appreciation.

I nod, taking in his words.

He smiles and kisses my cheek.

”Get in that booth and knock 'em dead,” Jay says with a kind smile.

I get up from my seat and I walk back into the booth. I put on my headphones and take a breath.

”Let’s go,” I say to Jay, telling him to run the track.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

youtu.be/eY_eqNHguwg

After 2 takes of recording, we finished the track. We listen back to it a couple of times and adjust the tone of my vocals and the effects. I focus on the beat in the back to see if my voice lines up...and it’s super good.

"And who the hell taught you how to be such a good mixer?" I ask Jay.

He laughs at my question, "You don't have to know" Jay says as he stares at the monitor, saving the document and uploading it to the zip file of songs. I glare at him and he sighs.

"To be very honest, I learned through parties. On the Isle, we used to sneak out at midnight and go to Hades's lair to listen to music, do graffiti, and party. My dad would always fall asleep trying to keep an eye on me but I would always try to sneak out and go to those parties just to sit and watch from the DJ booth," Jay says.

"So you picked it up like a hobby?" I ask.

"Yeah, kind of," Jay agrees.

"You should really invest in this," I suggest.

He stares at me dumbfoundedly.

'Yeah, right. I'd rather be a Tourney coach in the future than selling music, I'm better at it, and plus, I'd rather have an all-exclusive contract with you so we can keep doing this," Jay says.

I laugh at his little joke about contracts.

"Anyways, we've got 3 more songs to record," I add.

"No problem, just give me the lyrics for it and I'll be done in a couple of minutes," Jay says, extending a hand to my sketchbook," Jay says.

I hesitantly pulled the book closer to my chest.

"Come on. I need material to work with. If we're gonna work together, you need to trust me," Jay says.

I hesitantly hand him my sketchbook and he takes it in his hands. He flips through the pages of the book past my art and gets to my lyric pages. He picks the ones he likes and focuses his attention back on the monitor.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Eventually, we finish recording the songs and we listen back to them. They're all perfect in my eyes and we send them to the zip file. 

"Babe, thanks for helping me out with this, I couldn't have done this without your help," I say to Jay.

"Of course, Adri. I know how hard you work to do this stuff, and if you ever need any help just please ask," jay says.

I stare at him and smile. He looks back at me with admiration in his eyes. Then, he leans in to kiss me. I kiss back and our lips enter a passionate tango. To deepen the kiss, I stand and sit over his lap, straddling him in his seat. He wraps his arms around my waist and his hands graze over my body. But before we can progress, my phone starts to buzz in my back pocket. I pull away from the kiss and scoff.

"I'm gonna assume that's Katie," Jay asks.

I take my phone and of my pocket and nod. I answer the phone.

"Hello?"

"Adri, pack your things. You've got a tour to prep for," Katie says through the phone.

My eyes widen at her words.

"Tour? We got approved by every venue?" I ask her, emotion building in my voice.

"Every single one," She says excitedly through the phone.

I pause for a second a smile emerges on my face. I turn to see Jay's reaction and he stares at my frame with a big smile on his face.

"That's perfect! And right on time too. I just finished up the album in the studio," I say happily.

"Awesome! So then we just have to send it through the admins and copyright and then you can start prepping the choreo for the concert," Katie says.

"Of course! And thank you for telling me this," I say before hanging up the phone.

I turn slowly and see Jay waiting for me to speak.

"I just got approved for a tour," I say out loud.

Jay lifts off from his seat and hugs me tightly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After a month of preparation, we finally have a full-fledged tour with a newly released album and headliners! It was a big decision but I had decided to have Brendon's band, Panic! At the Disco, headline my tour. How could I not have one of my favorite artists on this planet headline for me? Anyways, the album has been a huge success for me. My single, "Home with You," has been on the Billboard Chart for 2 weeks straight! This debut has been an enormous success for my career so far, surprisingly my mom was even happy with the album too. Now, the day had arrived, the first leg of the tour. My debut. 

I walk down the halls of the large stadium, watching as Panic's drum set is hauled down the hall, I feel butterflies enter my stomach. I walk towards Brendon's dressing room and walk through the door.

"There's my favorite girl!" Brendon says with a smile as he works on his iconic hair.

He puts down a bottle of hairspray and comes over to hug me. 

"You know, the fact that you're here makes everything so much better," I say.

Brendon laughs at my comment.

"It's your first tour! I remember my first tour, I was your age, I was living out of my car with the band, and I had just left Vegas. I thought we were failures. But you, you are definitely not a failure. You are a boss! You've got talent, kid. Now, go and show it," He says, reassuring me.

Before I can respond, the door opens to Mike, the guitar player for Brendon's band.

"Yo, we gotta start tuning up," Mike says.

I turn to Brendon and give him a smile.

"Thanks, I needed that," I say.

He pats my shoulder and we start to file out to the hall. As we walk down the hall, the crew moves all the set pieces to the stage. Behind a crate, I see a familiar person. Then, suddenly my heart drops. 

Hayley.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was 14 when I had my first kiss. But it wasn't Chad who gave it to me. It was Hayley Red. Daughter of Red Riding Hood. Absolutely badass, funny, adventurous. She was someone who made me really question myself as a whole.

There was always something about her that was alluring. Her eyes, her clothing, her personality. I was so keen on trying to figure out what made me so attracted to her. Then, when I met Chad I realized that my feelings for her weren't normal. After that damn party with the " situation," I had a feeling. A feeling that would change me.

She was the person I wanted to run to. So I did.

She comforted me, something I didn't think she would do since she always had this tough exterior all the time. She was the one who made me feel safe when everything in my life fell apart. She was the one who told Lonnie to take care of me. Hayley was someone who loved me unconditionally. One day she had to leave and eventually, we stopped talking after I fell into depression, Lonnie likes to remind me that her departure was what got my depression much worse.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Now, absolutely glued to the floor. I realize that Brendon is now standing in front of her, speaking to her. My heart sinks into my stomach suddenly as she realizes that I'm staring at her.

"Adri?" She calls from across the room.

My legs start to walk towards her unconsciously.

"Hi, Hayley," I say softly.

"You two know each other," Brendon assumes.

"Of course, she was my first girlfriend," Hayley comments.

Brendon's eyes widen.

"Oh shit," Brendon says.

Hayley looks at my frame up and down.

"You've changed so much since then," Hayley chuckles through a smile.

"You have no idea how much happened for me to get here," I say.

"Hell yeah, I mean you've got this sick venue, you were a royal advisor, your album is currently number one. I'm sure there's been a lot," Hayley says.

Suddenly, I feel arms snake around my waist and I roll my eyes.

'Jay, stop it," I say awkwardly as Jay grips my hips.

"What? I can't help it that I love you," Jay says cheekily.

I pulls his hands from my waist.

"Hayley, this is my boyfriend, Jay," I say.

Hayley blushes softly and extends her hand.

"Shit, man. It is so great to meet you. Honestly, I didn't think she'd have a boyfriend after Chad," Hayley says cheekily.

I scoff at her comment and watch as Jay shakes her hand.

"I didn't think I'd be her boyfriend after Chad either, but I guess I'm just lucky," Jay tells her.

I roll my eyes at his words.

"So how do you know Adri?" Jay asks.

I blush heavily after he asks this, Hayley looks at my face and laughs.

"We're exes, but it's all chill now," Hayley comments.

Jay's eyes widen softly and he turns to me. "Shit, I'm sorry if this is kind of awkward," Jay says to me.

"You just realized?" I say through gritted teeth.

"Don't worry, it's all cool. Plus, she's a cool girl, and if she thinks she's found someone who makes her as happy as she deserves, I've got no problems," Hayley says honestly.

My brows furrow at the situation, Hayley stands next to Jay confidently and they watch for my reaction.

The speaker suddenly reminds the band that they have 5 minutes until the show starts. Brendon excuses himself, reminding us that he's been standing there. He winks at me and I roll my eyes at his action.

"Hey, can we talk?" Hayley says, tapping my arm.

I nod and I follow her into a dressing room. She closes the door and I stand by the wall.

"Fuck, I am so sorry for not texting or calling you after so long," Hayley says in relief.

My eyes widen at her sudden sigh.

"Lonnie keeps reminding me about you," I say.

"Of course she does. So, tell me. What've you been up to since then?" Hayley asks.

I gulp.

"If you don't wanna talk about it, it's fine," Hayley says, grabbing an apple from a fruit basket in the corner of the room.

"No, It's okay. So...after you left, I went into self-quarantine. I did classes in my dorm room. I had an eating disorder. I started having anxiety, so I got a relief pet. A tiger named Roxie," I start.

"So, was Sophomore year just a relief period?" Hayley asks, taking a bite of her apple.

"Yeah. Lonnie would check on me all the time, bring me lunch, talk to my brother about my health. Go to doctor's appointments, go to therapy, and by the summer I was fine. I started getting my friends back, reconnecting with my hobbies, I met people from the business, I started joining clubs, skating, and then by the start of this year, everything was pretty much normal...until Chad's restraining order expired. He started talking shit again and trying to intimidate me with his toxic masculinity. But then, Jay showed up and stood up to him for me. Then, we started doing things together and talking. Kind of like how we did, and then he started flirting a little more heavily than his regular playboy attitude and he asked me out with help of my brother and his friends. And we've been dating since then," I explain.

Hayley digests my information while biting her apple.

"Shit, man. Depression really can fuck you up like that. And you made music on top of that? And did school? That's badass. I'm actually proud," Hayley says.

I smile at her comment.

"That means a lot coming from you," I say softly.

"You know, I actually had a rough period myself. The reason I left was actually was because my grandpa had died. His death affected me a lot. Then, my mom found out about you and that I was lesbian, so she forced me to leave. She tried so hard to make me lose all that I had already established for myself. And on top of that, I had to be strong. It's tough. That's why I'm quite proud that you're doing so well after that. Me, I'm still a train-wreck," Hayley explains.

We continue our conversation later into the night, leading up to my performance, catching up like old friends.

[wolfiebucky]

Finn Wolfhard x Reader Fluff

warnings:cursing

Part 1.

EDIT: OMG THANK YOU FOR EVERYONE WHO LIKED PART TWO WILL BE POSTED NEXT WEEK SO FOLLOW ME FOR UPTADES :D

A/N So this is my first published imagine hope you guys like it :)

Plot: You were are introduced in the 2nd season as a love interest for Gaten's Character, but who really was crazy about you is Finn, and when during a promoting interview Finn accidentally confesses he has a crush on you the fandom goes crazy.

_____________

" Schnapp you better come here right now if you don't want me to kick your ass!" Noah and you were running around his dressing room while the others were out fixing their microphones.

Since season 3 was about to come out every single cast member was currently part of the promotion Tour, which was honestly your least favorite part. Yes you enjoyed spending time with the cast, they are like your second family, but infinite interviews and having jet lag is no fun at all for anyone. You're in Australia right now waiting for everyone to get ready and Noah had took your phone and was checking your DMs to the girls and the group chat that you guys have.

"Oh come on (Y/N) what can be so bad that you don't want to show me?" He laughed while trying to run from you, you went around the couch and snatched from his hand.

"HA!" You immediately turned it off and put it in your purse.

"What? you don't want me to see how much you talk about Finn with Mills?" He layed on the couch while eating some chips and taking out his own phone.

"I knew you were dumb but apparently you are crazy as well." you tried to ignore him while fixing your hair in front of the mirror and re-doing your lipstick.

Finn and you have been Best friends for almost 2 years know, your characters didn't talk much or even liked eachother, but out of the screen you guys were inseparable and had so much fun. He went to your house often he teached you how to play guitar, took you to many of his concerts and even let you appear in one of his music videos along side Caleb. You soon realized what you biggest fear was... you had a crush on him. Your first instinct was telling Sadie since she was the one you were closer with out of the girls. But slowly everyone started to realize and soon the fans did too starting the (YourShipName) Movement.

"Oh stop pretending, all of us know you're crazy for him, even Gaten! you know, he might be the one you kiss on TV but the way you look at Finney is no performance"

"So what if I have I crush on him?" You turned around and faced Noah "it's not like anything will happen, he doesn't see me that way and I accepted that".

Noah raised an eyebrow and sigh "You're delusional" he said smiling "Have you even asked Finn?!" he said frustrated.

"No but-"

"Ask me what?" There he was, standing right next you, you looked at Noah waiting for him to anwser but he just smirked and kept quiet. "Quick think of something (Y/N)" You thought for yourself.

"Uhmm...I...I-...I was just going to ask when do we have to be on stage?" You knew Noah rolled his eyes behind you and even heard him sigh, you gave him the middle finger behind your back and he laughed.

"Oh, right about now actually. They gave us a sitting order by the way , (Y/N) you're next to Gaten, I’m next to (Y/N), Millie is next to me and Noah next to Millie , I think they want to appeal to the fans and stuff ". he smiled.

You gave him a smile back "Cool see ya there toad" you said sarcasticly to Finn while he was exiting the room.

"Be there on time midget!" Finn said referring to your height and laughing while leaving.

You gave Noah a sign for him to get up the couch and looked at him with a cold expression.

"You're a chicken (Y/N)" You smiled and hit his shoulder "UH OUCH?" You smiled "That's what you get idiot, come one we can't be late"

________

"Today we are welcoming a couple of young talented actors who had made their way through success for the last couple years with their successful show avilable on Netflix. Please welcome the cast of 'Stranger Things', Finn Wolfhard, Millie Bobby Brown, Gaten Matarazzo, Caleb McLaughlin, Sadie Sink, Noah Schnapp and (Y/N) (Y/L/N)!"

The moment you heard your name you entered the stage, you saw this big crowd screaming and applauding while you were walking next to Gaten and waved to the people while you were walking to your sit.

"Hey guys , first of all welcome! thanks for coming" Said the host, she was a 20 maybe 25 year old blonde woman greeting you with a big smile " I am so exited to meet you and we have some questions for you that are from your fans all over the globe so if you guys are down we can get right into it!"

"Of course go ahead" Said Finn with a big smile.

"So the first question is for Caleb from Jean all the way from the UK, and it's about your character 'Will Lucas stop being underrated and have some badass moments?". The audience cheered and applauded.

"I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who thinks my character needs some justice" We all laughed "Definitely Lucas will get to prove how badasd he is so don't worry" The audience applauded.

"Awsome!" Said the woman.The next questions were more Mileven related than anything or about Funny stories that happend during filming, you weren't really paying attention anymore your feelings were all over the place Finn wise. Maybe Noah was right maybe you should tell him what you feel, but what if by saying it you ruin everything? what if he rejects you or say that he looks at you just like a friend?!, or sister?! or-

"How do you feel about that (Y/N)?" You heard you name all of the sudden, they asked you a question and you didn't heard it.

"Im sorry?" You tried to played it off, Finn and Gaten laughed at you, and you gave them a cold stare.

The interviewer smiled "How does it feel being a newbie to the cast? considering that your character "April" was introduced along side Max. Have you had any issues or do you think you fit right in?"

"Oh no no, I definitely feel at home. When I started this i was definitely scared, and the biggest helpers were Finn and Winona they just took me under their wing and will forever be thankful for that." the crowd went awwww and Finn out of nowhere grabbed your hand for a second and whisperd "Thank you" while smiling.

Your heart was beating so fast and your face was as red as a tomato, you couldn't help it you were crazy about him and to not be able to tell him drove you insane.

"So Finn and (Y/N), you guys are very close everyone knows that, you always post pictures on instagram while you hang out, and do lives together tell us about that!" She had a smirk on, like she was trying to find something out, something that you won't allow the world to know.

"Well..." Finn started "i don't really know what to tell you, we are just, really close and i feel comfortable around her and how she is" he makes a pause and looked at you "How her Jokes are so bad they make me laugh" You can hear the audience laugh but you don't laugh, you just pay attention to Finn's eyes and lips "How she's always supporting me, my band, my projects...How she lights up the set when she arrives and How she laughs when she says the wrong line...She's just amazing"

Everything was quiet, it felt like it was only you and him at that moment, he looks at you with the sweetest smile you've ever seen coming from him "is this really happening?" You thought "He thinks I'm amazing!" you really couldn't believe it. He basically admitted he likes you in front of thousands of people.

What broke the silence was the applause coming from the crowd, you had to stop looking at Finn, the cast were looking at eachother laughing and smiling but you could notice how Finn turned red and tried to hide it.

After a few more questions the interview was over and you were happier than ever, after you guys walked out you could've swear you heard someone screaming "YourShipName!", and you couldn't be more happy about it.

__________

Part 2 comes next if this gets to 5 notes :)

[5sospank]

couldn’t forget you - luke one shot

Word Count: 9,996

Rating: NSFW

Keywords: fluff, bestfriend!luke, smut

Summary: You and Luke were best friends growing up. But, when he got whisked away into a world of fame, you were left behind. Your families always remained close, so when a beach weekend gets planned, you and Luke reunite.

A/N: wow this is so long and i’ve had this concept in my head for so long. enjoy you guys this is the first piece i’ve actually written and finished since maybe 2015? :) 

Wherever Luke was found, you were usually somewhere nearby. You had known him since he had first taken the shape of a lanky preteen boy. In the brief months before high school began, the Hemmings family moved into the house that had gone up for sale next to yours. Luke had been equipped with knobby knees, an intense love for music, and a mildly awkward disposition that you had instantly found endearing.

Over the course of high school, the two of you had become practically inseparable. Your families grew close, you ranted to one another about the latest trials and tribulations of adolescence, and wasted away hours at the local pizza shop just talking. It was easy and effortless friendship. When you looked back fondly on your teenage years, Luke made an appearance in most of your memories. He was there for everything.

Until he wasn’t. Until his hobby of music skyrocketed into a full time, chart-topping, award-winning career. To be honest, growing up, you had never taken his garage band too seriously. They had inevitably improved after years of practice, but it took you by surprise when your best friend was sucked into a world of fame, money, and world tours. Suddenly, the person you had by your side as a constant was ripped away.

You presumed that was why your mother and Mrs. Hemmings had taken it upon themselves to plan a joint reunion trip. Your family had freed up a weekend in the summer to rent a house on the beach, and by some stroke of luck, Luke’s band had just announced their temporary hiatus. You hadn’t seen him in years. However, that was going to change, as the Hemmings would be joining you under the same roof for two whole days.

The thought of seeing Luke again after so many years left you slightly uneasy. The two of you rarely communicated anymore. You had become a facet of his past life; one deemed as excruciatingly normal and anything but exciting. The only time you heard from Luke was through DM to send you birthday wishes. Other than that, you only saw his face plastered on posters and magazines, heard his voice on the radio, saw him on your social media feeds. It was as if he had become some sort of unattainable fictional person. It was like you never really knew him at all.

You didn’t wholly reject the idea of the reunion trip, though. You had gotten off of work and were looking forward to a few days spent on the heavenly private beach. The house your mother and Mrs. Hemmings rented was rather large. It boasted a good number of bedrooms with lavish views, marble bathrooms and private balconies. The decor was light and airy, illuminated by the natural light that poured in through an extensive amount of floor-to-ceiling windows. It was beautiful, but you assumed that Luke had been part of the house-selection process.

You arrived before the Hemmings with your family quickly in tow. You picked the first bedroom you stumbled into, greeted by a massive bed with a fluffy white comforter and a skylight overhead. With a contented sigh, you dropped your bags in the corner by the door. The atmosphere surrounding was peaceful despite your impending nerves.

It was going to be a long weekend.

-

Your family had settled into the house with ease. The Hemmings had apparently hit traffic on the way there, which bought you some time to mentally prepare yourself. You ate lunch with your parents, listened to your mother complain about forgetting her collection of magazines at home, and unpacked some of your things.

The temperature outside had begun to cool down once you went out back to explore the beach. The sand was white and clean beneath your feet. You slid a pair of sunglasses onto the bridge of your nose, staring out at the ocean. It was endlessly blue and somehow calm despite the wind. The occasional curl of a wave released a calming sound onto the shore, reaching your toes and tickling your skin with sea mist. With such a hectic schedule, you hadn’t felt peace like this in a while. It was nice.

You had eagerly taken a seat in the sand when you heard him. His tone was deeper, nearly unfamiliar, but you couldn’t forget that voice. Not when you spent four years with him every single day.

“Long time no see.”

You looked up to see his figure looming overhead. He bent at the knees to sit beside you without invitation, his brow furrowed from the bright sun. He looked so different, somehow. Luke had grown up; it was evident in the slight beard that dotted his jaw, the absence of his old lip ring, the curly length of his hair. His shoulders were more broad, lined with muscle and strength. You had seen him in pictures but they surely did not do his physical presence justice. His mere physicality alone made you uneasy, shy.

“Luke,” You said his name awkwardly. “Hey.”

He let out a dry laugh. It exuded a wave of confidence - another new addition to his adult persona. “How’ve you been? Good, I hope?”

“Yeah, I’ve been doing well. I’m not a world-famous rockstar or anything of the sort, but still doing okay.” You managed to joke as you looked out toward the ocean.

“Good to hear.” Luke laughed again, softer this time. His eyes were studying you, drinking in the sight of you before him. He seemed to be in the same state of disbelief that you were experiencing.

A small silence occurred between you. It wasn’t nearly as uncomfortable as you thought it would be. Years had gone by and your worlds had changed, but something about Luke’s presence had stayed the same. His demeanor was still calm and gentle. You could see it in the way his eyes were looking at you curiously, hesitantly, as if he wanted to ask you one million questions but was simply biting his tongue.

Instead, he asked, “Why don’t we find some beers?”

-

You had agreed, obviously, after greeting his family. His mother gushed over your beauty and congratulated you on your career, your new apartment, on making it into the real world. These accomplishments were much smaller than Luke’s record-breaking success, but still, the little victories counted in your normal world.

It was past five o’clock, which was the perfect time for a happy hour. You and Luke were already a few drinks deep out of pure anxiousness. He was sat at the outside bar across from you, beginning to ramble about his latest tour that had ended in Japan. You had never even thought of reaching foreign countries like that, but with the way Luke spoke about it, you suddenly respected how well-traveled he was. He had developed a certain knowledge of the world that you could only dream of attaining.

“What about you, though? What have you been up to?” Luke questioned after a moment. “My mom mentioned you got a new job.”

You shook your head and averted your gaze. “It’s nothing compared to what you’ve been up to, Luke.”

He frowned subtly. “My job and my life probably aren’t the most normal, but I’m still me, you know.”

The tone of his voice caused you to meet his stare again. He looked sad, almost wistful. The thought of how different your lives were suddenly struck you. You were aware of why the two of you had lost touch. Maybe Luke thought he was still the same, but you doubted it just slightly.

“Yeah, I got a new job. I moved into my own apartment,” you said softly. “I’ll be in debt forever from college, but it was worth it.”

A faint smile made its way onto Luke’s features. “I saw some of your photos on Facebook. Seems like you had fun.”

You raised your eyebrows. It was surprising to know Luke had made the effort to keep up with your life, even if it was just browsing through your drunken party photos from your days in college. Part of you was also slightly embarrassed about that, but your cheeks flushed with a pleasant warmth. The two of you were growing more comfortable with one another.

“Yeah, I could say the same for you. Except I see your photos in magazines,” you replied wrly. “You’re a big shot party guy now, huh?”

With that, Luke rolled his eyes and let out a scoff. He had a reluctant grin on his features, pulling at the ends of his mouths, lighting up his face. He looked handsome and you couldn’t believe the sentiment had even crossed your mind.

“You partied your way through college for four years, I drank Los Angeles dry.” Luke took a swig of his beer. “We’re not so different, actually. You’ll realize that at some point this weekend.”

-

As fitting as it was, you and Luke were slightly tipsy for family dinner. Your parents were not very receptive to your current state, although it was probably due to how quiet you were. You and Luke had avoided conversation during the meal as much as you possibly could. Instead, you both forked down a homemade chicken dish and listened as your mothers spoke about how time really flies.

You took it upon yourself to initiate clean up, clearing the table. You were alone in the kitchen beginning to load up the dishwasher when Luke appeared in the doorway. You studied his frame while tidying up, noting the way a simple black tee shirt hugged his biceps so tightly, tucked perfectly into the thick leather belt he wore. He was well-dressed and looked expensive; even for a lowkey beach weekend. Those ripped jeans and band tees from your high school days were probably thrown away as soon as Luke got himself a publicist.

You initially didn’t notice it, but Luke was watching you, too. His eyes followed your every move, following the way you quietly shuffled around the kitchen. Your families’ voices could be heard distantly from the dining room. It was faint background noise to your thoughts. They immediately grew frantic when you finally felt his gaze on you. It didn’t seem curious and gentle like before. It was heavier.

“Need any help?” Luke questioned to break the silence. He licked his lips absently.

You swallowed. “No, I think I’m about done in here. Thanks, though.”

He crossed his arms over his chest. He was all the way across the kitchen, but somehow, he felt too close. You were wrangling with the sensation of familiarity but also the contradiction that was there; the new layers to Luke. His appearance, his maturity, his demeanor. His presence instilled that same comfort in you, yet it also awakened a new sense of uncertainty. The combination of uncharted feelings left you wary to be under the same roof as him.

“Our parents are thinking about going over downtown, just to walk around a bit,” Luke stated. “They want to know if we’ll be joining them.”

You set up the dishwasher and turned it on. When you turned to face Luke, you pulled your hair back from your face and sighed. “Do you want to join them?”

“Not entirely,” he said. “But I’ll go wherever you go.”

His words made you smile, only slightly. You didn’t want to show the involuntary joy they brought you.

“I don’t think I’ll be going. Not in the mood for more family bonding.” You admitted with a breathless laugh.

“Me too. I’ll stay back with you.” Luke declared. He left the room to inform your families that the two of you would be staying home, alone, together.

Just like that, you grew nervous again. Your palms were warm with sweat and there was a hollow sensation in your stomach. You couldn’t decide if it was butterflies or not, but you definitely would not admit that, either.

You had to remind yourself; it was just Luke.

-

Once you had the place to yourselves, you excused yourself to go take a shower and sort some of your belongings out. While you were walking down the hallway to your bedroom, you noticed who had conveniently picked the room next to yours. Luke.

You peaked in, noting his expensive luggage and the clothes that were already sprawled out over the bed. Clearly he hadn’t ditched his messy habits over the years.

After your shower, you brushed out your wet hair and slipped into a tank top and cotton shorts. It was nearing half past eight and you weren’t feeling tired just yet. Your head was slightly hazy from your evening drinks, but you were still on edge knowing that somewhere in the big house was Luke and only Luke. You attempted to convince yourself that your nerves were only due to the fact that you hadn’t seen him in a while.

You stepped down the stairs and into the main living room, only to see that he was sitting outside by the pool by himself, scrolling through his phone. The lighting out there on the deck was dim, a small contrast to the dark sky above. You had planned on switching on the television and curling up on the couch, but instead, you moved in Luke’s direction.

You slid open the glass patio door. The sudden noise seemed to startle Luke, but he only turned around to look at you. A small smile was on his face. You noticed he had changed into a pair of shorts and an old cutoff. A large bottle was placed on the table before him, as well as two empty glasses.

You looked away quickly.

“I was going to ask if you wanted to come out here and maybe get drunk, but you found me.”

“I didn’t peg you as a wine-drinker.” You stated.

“I stay in a lot of hotels. Complimentary bottles of wine are a thing, apparently.” Luke shrugged. “I acquired the taste.”

It was a bottle of Pinot. It didn’t look too expensive, which meant that he had probably dug it out of the house’s wine collection in the kitchen. You couldn’t turn down the offer, which is why you poured yourself a glass first, then took a sip. Luke followed suit.

You sat comfortably in the quiet for a few moments. The ocean could be heard in the distance, as well as the cicadas and crickets nearby. The pool looked serene before you, illuminated in the night.

“Remember when we used to go pool hopping?” Luke asked suddenly. “Mrs. Walters caught us every single time, without fail.”

“She never called the police, though.” You pointed out and smiled fondly.

“She loved you,” Luke rolled his eyes dramatically. “She never would’ve call the cops on you.”

You took a sip of your wine and laughed, the memories of summers with Luke as teenagers flooding your mind. You two would be out late every night, traipsing through your neighborhood with stolen alcohol from your parents and cheap snacks from the corner store. Pool hopping was something you often did in the warmer months since neither one of you had your own pool. Mrs. Walters’ house was the most common destination out of the pure thrill of getting caught. However, you had used to watch her grandchildren, so she never took it upon herself to get you in trouble.

You finished your glass of wine and poured yourself another, setting it on the table. “Remember that time she caught us skinny dipping?”

Luke laughed loudly, the noise immediately making you grin. He ran his hands through his hair and placed his now empty glass in front of him. The motion made you stare at him a little longer, at the pleasant way his hair fell back into his face. The wine left your face warm.

“That was the last time we ever went pool hopping.” Luke said.

“With good reason.” You defended. “That was kind of embarrassing.”

Luke leaned forward in his chair, and you were acutely aware of how close the two of you were sat. “Let’s go now.”

“Pool hopping? Where?”

“No,” Luke grinned. “Skinny dipping.”

You shook your head instantly. “Absolutely not.”

“Why not? Just for old time’s sake.”

“Old time’s sake?” You repeated incredulously. “We’re already here with our families on a reunion trip. Isn’t that doing enough for old time’s sake?”

He was already standing up, slugging back the rest of his second glass of wine. You watched him wipe his mouth with the back of his hand, a new expression overtaking his features. He was challenging you, clearly.

“Okay, be lame. The Y/N I knew five years ago would totally do it, though.”

“Maybe because it was five years ago.” You muttered, although your words were too quiet for him to hear.

You watched, internally panicking, as Luke pulled his shirt over his head in one swift motion. He glanced at you lazily. His hands hovered daringly at the waistband of his shorts. The smirk on his face diminished once he saw your stare rake over his torso, seeing the toned muscles and curvature of his body. His body looked much different this time around.

“Come on,” he urged temptingly. “I won’t look.”

You let out a laugh of disbelief. That’s exactly what he had once said to you in high school. The both of you knew that he had looked, though.

Reluctantly, you finished the rest of your wine, needing the liquid courage. Luke watched you all the while. His eyes were hooded from the alcohol, his hair disheveled and cheeks flushed. By how light you felt, you presumed you looked the same.

“Fine.” You stood up.

Luke let out a whoop of some sort. His laughter filled the space between the two of you, continuing as he pulled his shorts down so that he was left in his boxers. He had told you he wouldn’t look at you, and this time, he wasn’t. However, you didn’t stop yourself from watching him slide off his briefs.

When he caught your line of view, neither one of you said anything.

Instead, you peeled off your tank top, leaving your chest completely bare. The cool night air nipped at your skin through the blanket of humidity surrounding. Instinctively, you moved to conceal your chest, but stopped yourself. You were skinny dipping, after all.

Luke was walking toward the pool while you continued undressing. His skin appeared milky in the dim lighting of the deck. You watched the muscles ripple in his back as he jumped in, disturbing the still surface of the water. When he came up for air, his wet hair was pushed off his face and he was noticeably taking in the sight of you approaching the edge of the pool. So much for not looking.

You stood at the pool’s edge, looking into the water as Luke drew closer. It was quiet as you pulled your shorts down your thighs, leaving you fully naked. You didn’t dare look at Luke. You didn’t want to draw attention to the way he watched you undress and slip into the water a bit more gracefully than he had. It was cooler than expected, riddling your body with goosebumps. You slicked your hair off of your forehead and wiped at your eyes, finally meeting Luke’s.

“If someone told me at the beginning of this summer that I would be skinny dipping with Luke Hemmings again, I wouldn’t believe them.” You stated.

“Same here.” Luke chuckled halfheartedly. He didn’t appear as confident as before. The water was sobering, somehow. Now, he was a bit quieter, a bit struck by the way you looked under the night sky in nothing but your skin. He wondered where the sudden attraction was coming from.

The two of you fell silent again. Skinny dipping was not nearly as riveting as it was when you two were kids, trying not to get noticed by neighbors. Now, the exuberant atmosphere was instead replaced with a thick layer of tension. Only the gentle splashing of water was heard, and your proximity was absently growing closer.

“I missed you a lot when you left, you know,” You heard yourself say, or maybe the happy hour drinks and wine was saying it. “It was like you weren’t just mine anymore, when you were gone. You were the whole world’s.”

Luke frowned. His Adam’s apple bobbed in his throat, and he stood up in the water so that his chest was visible. Water droplets slid down his collarbones. “Yeah, it was sudden. We didn’t expect overnight success like that, but I’m sorry I didn’t stay in touch.”

“It’s understandable.” You replied.

Luke looked down at you, where you were crouched in the water so that it was level with your neck, concealing yourself. There was only a few feet that separated you both. “I missed you too. A lot more than you think, probably.”

Your eyes were locked on his. For some reason, there was a lump in your throat. That was all you had wanted to hear for the past few years. Those words were part of the reason why you had agreed to the reunion trip in the first place. You were clinging to the slight trace of hope that Luke missed you just as much as you had missed him.

There was no thought to your movement when you stood up, took a small step toward Luke in the shallow end of the pool. Your chest was exposed and your body grew cold but you could barely register the sensation. You were consumed by your subliminary thoughts of him, of his confession, of the way he looked standing in the water before you.

His eyes involuntarily dropped from yours to your body, to the way your chest was bare and rapidly rising and falling with your nervous breaths. He felt his blood rushing in his ears, the heat in his cheeks and neck. You welcomed his proximity when he stepped closer to you, lips parted and eyes locking back with yours.

And he kissed you. It was gentle and hesitant, as if he didn’t fully commit to the action - his body commanded it. You leaned up into him, your hands on his jaw, and pressed your lips back to his. His mouth began to move against yours slowly, ever so slowly, tasting you. You felt his hands find your waist and pull you against him, your body flush against his beneath the water. With this new movement, his palms slid up and over the curves of your skin, pushing your wet hair out of your face.

Luke gradually backed you up against the wall of the pool. It became evident that he wanted to remove any inch of space between the two of you. His tongue traced against yours, licked into your mouth. The pace of your kisses began to increase. However, you slowed him down, running your hands down the ridges of his abdomen, lingering then pulling away.

“I really missed you,” you whispered, dumbfounded. “Good night, Luke.”

-

You slept very restlessly that night. After leaving Luke in the pool, you wrapped a towel around your body and went inside, ditching him to clean up the wine and get himself dressed. You didn’t have ill intentions. You simply did not want to get carried away with a kiss end up doing something the two of you could possibly regret. So you did what Luke physically couldn’t do, and you put a stop to things before they could get too heated.

However, trying to achieve a good night’s sleep with him in the room next door after a kiss like that proved to be difficult. You envisioned the flush on his cheeks, the look in his eyes. They’d held an expression you had never seen on Luke before. For years, you knew him better than you knew yourself, but you never saw the side of him that was tainted by lust.

The ragged breaths he had expelled, the tightened grip of his fingers on your hip, the solidity of his body against yours without the interruption of any layers of clothing; the moment was playing on an infinite loop in your mind. You wondered if he was feeling the same. You wondered if he was wide awake, thinking of you, too.

When morning came, your anxiousness returned. The exhilaration of the night before had come and gone. It was replaced with doubt and worry, the possibility that Luke didn’t entirely want that to happen and maybe he was drunk. You pondered if he would forget all about it, that he maybe had a girl back in LA waiting for him. You weighed every negative outcome of your actions. You couldn’t help it.

You were tying on a bikini when you heard a knock on your door. Briefly, you thought it would be your mother, waking you for the family beach day she had been looking forward to. However, it was Luke.

His hair was messy and deep circles ringed his eyes. He was already in swim shorts with a pair of sunglasses tucked into the waistband. He had opted out of a shirt, apparently.

“Hi,” You breathed out. “What’s up?”

“What’s up?” Luke immediately raised his brow, surprise etched into his features. “You left your clothes from last night out there. I’m returning them.”

You tore your gaze from his and looked at the crumpled mess of your tank top and shorts that you had left on the pool deck. “Did -”

“I grabbed them before our parents came home,” He interrupted. “Wouldn’t want them to see that, would we?”

You chuckled lowly, uncomfortably. “About last night, Luke...I’m sorry. Maybe we shouldn’t have...if you have a girlfriend or something, or if -”

“Don’t be sorry.” Luke interjected softly. He stepped into your room, looked over his shoulder to see if anyone was around. “I wouldn’t have been naked in a pool with you if I had a girlfriend.”

“Okay,” You nodded, looked up at him. “Okay, I guess.”

He laughed at your flustered state of being. His eyes wrinkled at the sides and his smile was genuine, faint hair lining his cheeks and jaw. The two of you were so close, you could feel his breaths hit your face. His stare had dropped down to your mouth, tempted, wanting. You remained where you were.

It took you by surprise when he kissed you. You had known it was coming, but for him to lean down and press his lips to yours gently was unexpected. His kiss was tender, short but lingering. It held promise.

“Come on,” He murmured once he pulled away. “Let’s enjoy the beach.”

-

Family beach day was quite the production. Your parents had set up chairs in front of the water, stocked a cooler with waters and booze, stuck an umbrella in the sand. You were steps away from the house, but everything you needed was already right in front of you.

The sun beat down on your head from above. It was almost unbearably hot on the shore. There was a lack of breeze that day and the air felt dry around you. Nonetheless, it was still beautiful in front of the ocean, and you actually enjoyed being with your parents and Luke’s family. It had been a long time since you all spent a few interrupted hours together.

You weren’t mentally present, though. You indulged in the small talk and a cold Corona, but that was all you had to offer. Your mind was elsewhere. It was still out by the pool with Luke, with his lean stature and eyes boring into your own. You were still dwelling on earlier that morning, on the kiss he left you that insinuated there would be more to come.

It was as if you were in a state of awe. It was difficult to believe you were here for a weekend with Luke Hemmings, former childhood best friend, current superstar dripping in fame. As teenagers, of course you had thought about what it would be like to kiss him. He was your everything. That was why you never dared to taint your friendship.

You decided to get up and head over to the deck. Your mind was swimming and it was a great time to put sunscreen on, you decided. The sun was too strong and you could feel your skin beginning to burn. Plus, you were tired of listening to your parents ask Luke about all the countries he had been to, all the tours he had done. You were happy for him but grew tired of the forced conversation.

As you dug through a bag filled with different numbers of SPF, you noticed Luke stand and begin to make his way toward you. His stature was tall and his shoulders were broad, sunglasses now perched on the bridge of his nose. You looked away and started applying some sunscreen to your arms.

“Getting tired of family beach day already?” Luke questioned. He appeared bemused, watching you dot some sunscreen onto your cheeks.

“Something like that.”

He hummed, then sat down on the chair in front of you. You tried not to look at him because it was too overwhelming. His body had changed so much. He wasn’t the lanky boy from next door anymore. He had grown into himself, become a man.

“Did you just come over here to watch me put on sunscreen?” You joked after a moment, quirking an eyebrow.

A crooked smile grew on his mouth. “No, not really. I can help, though. If you want.”

“Luke,” You said his name disapprovingly. It came across with a roll of your eyes.

“C’mere, let me.” He extended his hands outward, reaching for the bottle of sunscreen.

You looked over at the beach. “Our families are right there.”

“So? I’m just helping a friend out,” Luke teased dramatically. “Their backs are to us anyway.”

You had no chance to protest anymore. Luke already had leaned forward and snatched the bottle from your grip, nudging you to move toward where he was sitting before you. You looked down at him, unsure.

“Turn around,” He urged softly.

You did as he said, glancing at your family uneasily. You could only see the backs of their heads. No one was paying attention.

You heard Luke squeeze the lotion into his hand, followed by the cold sensation of the liquid on your lower back. The large expanse of his hands smoothed it into your skin, rubbing it in, feeling the ridges of your spine beneath his fingers. You swallowed thickly.

“You’ve got a tattoo?” Luke tapped the side of your hip, where ink stuck out just above the waist of your bikini bottoms.

“Don’t look at it,” You practically whined, forgetting the image was even there. “I was stupid. Drunk with my friends, sophomore year.”

You craned your neck to look at Luke do exactly what you had asked him not to. He pulled the spandex material down just slightly, examining the design that you had chosen from a big book at the tattoo shop. Luke’s fingers traced the small lines, leaving goosebumps in their wake.

“Wow,” He mused. “Can’t believe I didn’t notice it last night.”

You rolled your eyes once more at the sarcasm that dripped from his words. You moved to turn around and face him, but he stopped you, his grip holding you in place. His touch left your waist for a moment, then moved toward the curve of your behind.

You looked toward your parents again. “Luke.”

“What?”

“Really?” You hissed, both at him and because of the sensation of the cold sunscreen on your ass. You stepped forward slightly.

“Like I said, I’m just helping you out.” He stated, but his words were muffled by his low laughter.

He rubbed the liquid in, not skipping over a single centimeter of your skin. His touch was slow and pointed as if he was savoring every moment of this. Soon, your heartbeat was beginning to race.

His touch crept back up, feeling the arch of your back and the curves of your waist. He pulled you down into his lap and you were like putty in his hands. You were past the point of protest, simply wrapped around his finger as you slid down and sat on his thighs. You were turned sideways, your eyes clouded as they looked down and met his.

“Can’t forget your shoulders,” Luke murmured. “Don’t want those to burn.”

His voice was just above a whisper. It brought chills down your spine. All you could do was nod, stare at him like a deer in headlights.

You watch his every move. He took his bottom lip between his teeth as he poured more sunscreen into his hand, then rubbed his palms together. His gaze flickered back up to meet yours.

“Turn,” He urged, and you had to tear your eyes away again.

You turned so that your back was to him once more. His touch was felt on your shoulder blades, kneading and gliding slowly. He dipped his fingers beneath the string of your bikini and for a moment you were thinking he would pull the knot loose. Instead, he continued his journey on your upper back, rubbing and feeling the warmth of your skin.

His grasp was on the nape of your neck when he was finished. It curled, and he nudged you to look at him. His stare was so intense, all you were able to do was stare back. You shared the silence of the moment, you in his lap, his hand on your neck, lingering.

He knew exactly what he was doing. It was working, every second of it. You had melted into a puddle before him. You would do whatever he said when he looked at you like that, when he touched you like that. It was like magic.

He leaned up and kissed you deeply. You were lost in the gesture, disregarding any past doubt and worry. You didn’t care if your family was right there. You wanted to feel his lips move against yours in that same way forever.

Luke’s tongue delved into your mouth. His hands were on your face now, keeping you close to him, kissing and kissing and kissing. You wanted to turn to straddle his lap, but you stopped yourself, knowing that would be the point of no return.

Once his breathing started to become slightly staggered, Luke forced himself to pull back. His chest was rising and falling heavily and his expression was strained.

“You’re going to have to finish with the rest of the sunscreen yourself,” He said. “Otherwise, family beach day will end a bit early.”

-

Exhaustion weighed your body down, made your muscles heavy with tire. The sun always drained you, no matter how long or how short you stayed in it. However, that day, you had been out on the beach practically until dinner. It was the only thing keeping you from going inside and letting Luke do whatever he pleased with you.

Now, it was after dinner and everyone was heading to sleep early. Your father had dozed on the sofa while watching TV and you had excused yourself to your room to get ready for bed. It was quiet and peaceful in the house with the air conditioning on high. It felt like your favorite kind of summer night.

You disappeared into your bathroom to wash all the sand out of your hair. The room was extravagant, with beautiful tile and marble detail. It was a level of lavish that you could only dream of. It was equipped with a gorgeous jacuzzi, twin sinks, and an oceanfront view. It was dark outside, but you could still make out the water in the distance.

You decided to run yourself a bath to soak and relax. You sat in a towel as the jacuzzi filled, then foamed with the bubble wash you added to the hot water. Once it was prepared, you slipped in, allowing your body to completely ease.

You rested your head against the wall, looking out the window, thinking about how you ended up here in the first place. It was insane to reflect on the past twenty four hours. Seeing Luke and his family, being on the beautiful beach, staying in the gorgeous house. That alone was enough to shake you. However, the mere thought of your interaction with Luke - his body, your body, the kisses and the tension - was what was truly racking your brain. You couldn’t fathom that you had seen Luke, your old best friend, in such a way.

The opening of your bathroom door startled you from thought. It was him, in his gray sweats and white wife-beater. A light sunburn tainted his cheeks and nose. His hair was tucked behind one ear and he was looking at you with a small smile.

“Did you forget how to knock?” You questioned, your voice caught in your throat.

“I knocked on the bedroom door.” He explained.

“Oh. Well, yeah, I’m taking a bath.” You managed to get out.

Luke entered the bathroom fully and closed the door behind him. A towel was in his hand. “I know. I heard the water running.”

You shifted in the water, sitting up a bit. The bubbles concealed your skin. “You...want to join me?” You offered, but your voice was weak and that same unsettling feeling grew in the pit of your stomach again. It was like you were out on the pool deck, with his eyes seeing through you, seeing all of you.

He didn’t say anything in reply, only hummed. You watched as he crossed the bathroom in one stride, placing his towel close to the jacuzzi. He lifted his tank top over his head, ditching it and tossing it to the floor. He slid his sweatpants down, revealing himself to you fully, knowing that your eyes were on him. It still made your stomach churn.

You moved over in the jacuzzi, although when he got in, there wasn’t much room to work with anyway. The water rose slightly with his weight. He let his head rest back against the tub, his leg against yours.

“Do you always listen to depressing music like this?” Luke questioned after a moment, referring to the slow songs coming from your phone across the room.

You laughed, splashed him a little. “What would you rather me put on? Your latest album?”

“Honestly, yeah.” Luke grinned.

You rolled your eyes. The both of you lulled into a silence, and you spoke up again. “I can’t believe I’m here. With you, in this really nice house. It’s so weird. I haven’t seen you since we were eighteen and now...we’re in a jacuzzi.”

“Jacuzzi is one of the main reasons I picked the house. Actually, this was supposed to be my room this weekend, but you got here first, obviously.” Luke said casually, stretching his arms out across the top of the tub.

“What? You picked the house?” You questioned in surprise, looking him in the eye.

He nodded. “I mean...the weekend’s on me.”

“You mean what?” You repeated. You sat up straight, brow furrowed.

“The weekend was my idea, Y/N. I thought of it a while ago, months ago when the band scheduled a hiatus.” Luke spoke, softer now. “My mom was telling me she had been talking with yours. I just wanted to see you again.”

You blinked. You had been under the impression that your families had planned this on their own, that Luke had been roped into this the same way that you had. To think that he had organized and paid for the trip on his own shocked you. To think that you even crossed his mind over the last few months left you somewhat speechless.

“Why do you look so surprised?” Luke wondered. He sat up, too, raking a hand through his hair and over his jaw.

“I thought...I don’t know, I didn’t think you would’ve thought of this, I figured it was our parents.” You stammered. “I thought you forgot about me.”

Luke shook his head, his brow furrowed this time. You noted the disagreement in his gaze. “I never would’ve forgot you, you know that. I told you, remember? I told you, I missed you more than you think.”

You didn’t know what to say in return. You were still slightly awestruck that he had planned this weekend, that he had missed you to the point where he rented out a house on the beach just to see you again. Meanwhile, you had gone on the past few years accepting his birthday wishes, seeing his life, thinking that you were just a small facet of the old him. Maybe you meant more.

He was studying your expression when you looked at him again. Part of him was bemused, but the other part of him was slightly nervous. He knew you missed him, but he didn’t know if it was of the same measure as he missed you. Time had passed and things were definitely different, but he still thought about you constantly.

“Say something.” Luke spoke after a moment.

You didn’t know what to offer him. He was awaiting a thank you, maybe, but you couldn’t bring yourself to speak. Instead, you were overcome with the urge to kiss him, to wipe the expectant look off of his face, to finally feel his skin beneath your touch. He went to such an extent to see you, and all you could think of was how you wanted his lips on yours.

You leaned forward in the jacuzzi. Some of the water splashed over the edge, but you didn’t care. You moved onto Luke’s lap feeling his naked skin beneath you as you were perched over him. You tilted his head to look up at you as you admired the beauty of his face, the pink of his ample lips and the light of his irises.

You leaned down to kiss him, welcoming his taste. His hands rose to your waist beneath the bubbles, his thighs supporting your weight. His tongue rolled over yours and swiped over your bottom lip deliciously. You entangled your fingers in his hair, pulling gently, needing him closer.  He was so different, so different.

He let out a pent-up breath once your mouths parted, his eyes blinking open wildly. He was looking at you with a certain hunger that stopped time. It was slow-motion and still when his gaze dropped from yours to your lips, then to your chest as he pulled away from you. He allowed the silence to speak as he lifted his hands from your waist, up your arms, moving the soap and bubbles over your skin. He let his palms glide over your breasts as he stared, taking you in, admiring you before him as your chests heaved.

“It’s like meeting you for the first time all over again.” He murmured, almost to himself.

He was right. You kissed him again, feeling his words and the disbelief on his tongue, the disbelief that he was seeing you like this. You let him bite down on your lip, pull back, then pull you in again. His hands were everywhere, feeling, touching, exploring. You were hesitant when your touch gravitated from his jaw to his chest, lower and lower.

He pulled away when your fingertips ghosted at his navel. “Let’s dry off.”

You nodded, entranced. He stood up and extended his hand, letting you taking it, helping you out of the jacuzzi. You were quiet as he wrapped his towel around his waist, then snagged yours.

“C’mere.” Luke said softly.

You leaned into him, allowing him to wrap a towel around your body. He let his weight rest against the sink as he rubbed the material over your skin, staring as you then moved to dry yourself off. You looked at him, took in the sight of his tall figure and broad stature leaning back and looking right at you, too. His lips were darker and his cheeks were more flushed, an obvious tent having formed in the towel he was wearing.

“I didn’t think I ever crossed your mind.” You found yourself saying. You wrapped the towel around your body.

“You were the best thing in my life for four years,” Luke replied. “You cross my mind often, actually.”

He pulled you closer to him so that you were virtually flush against his front. You pushed his hair up and out of his face, letting your knuckles drag across his cheek fondly. “I always wondered what it would be like to kiss you.”

Luke grinned, visibly pleased, then kissed your neck, your collarbone, your chest. “The amount of times I’ve imagined this, pictured it...you don’t know.”

“No need to imagine anymore.” You stated breathlessly.

Luke looked at you, his touch falling down your arm until his fingers wrapped around your wrist. “Let me show you what I’ve imagined.”

You stared at him, feeling his breaths fanning over your face. Those words and that tone. His voice was gravelly, the confession falling from his tongue with such weight and power. It hung in the air between you; a declaration and a cliffhanger all in one. You could practically see the way he was turning you over in his mind, thinking of all the ways he wanted to have you. The lust created a bubble around you both - nothing else mattered.

Luke’s touch was burning into your skin like an iron imprint, and you wanted it to remain forever. He shifted, moving so that you were both walking into the bedroom. It was dimly lit, crisp and untouched, but once he sat you on the foot of the bed, you knew what was coming. All attention was devoted to you.

He leaned down at an angle to kiss you again, his tongue melting against yours, the kiss wet and sensual. You allowed him to savor the action, your taste and your lips, as he moved his fingers to where your towel was wrapped. He pulled the makeshift knot open, nudging you to lay down before him as he pulled back and let his stare rake down your exposed skin shamelessly.

“Your body,” he whispered. “You’re gorgeous. So pretty.”

You felt as if you were on display for him. In a way, you were. It was as if he was trying to memorize the moment, his hands tracing the curve of your hips, the swell of your breasts. You normally felt a small shred of insecurity in times like these. Being fully naked in front of someone with nothing to hide was something that was terrifying and amazing all in once. With Luke and the way he was looking at you, you felt beautiful. You were beautiful.

He dragged his fingers down your torso, over your hips, landing them on your knees. Goosebumps rose in his wake and a shiver travelled up your spine. He then bent down on the floor before the bed, his head visible between your legs. He separated your thighs, hiking them up over your shoulders. The darkness in his stare was something so foreign to you, something you never could have pictured before. It made your stomach flip.

“This okay for you?” Luke breathed, unable to take his eyes off of you. His fingers were pressed into your hipbones.

“It’s okay, it’s good.” You mumbled almost frantically. You were shaking just slightly with raw anticipation.

Luke didn’t say anything else. He leaned forward, pressed his tongue against your center eagerly, bringing you instant relief. You caved into him as he began to move his mouth against your slit, dragging his tongue up and down as slowly as humanly possible.

“Luke,” You breathed out his name, your thighs instantly tightening and twitching over his shoulders.

He took this as easy encouragement, increasing the pace of his motions, the pressure of his grip on your hips. His eyes were shut and his hair hung into his face as he focused on pleasuring you, savoring your taste and the quiet noises that left your throat.

You tried not to let much escape your lips due to the fact that your families were under the same roof. If you were alone, you were certain you would’ve been screaming at the intense level of satisfaction. Luke knew exactly what he was doing - that you were certain of. He kept your weight pinned down with his hands as he moved his tongue in circles around your clit, burying his face between your legs.

His eyes looked up to you on occasion, to gauge your reaction, to see how inundated you were in the pleasure. He flattened his tongue against your center again, slowing almost to a stop, then continued his movements. He could have sent you over the edge right then and there, but instead took his grip from your waist and slipped a finger inside you, then two.

You were writhing with pleasure, biting down on nothing to keep from yelling out. Luke could hear you panting, hear his name leave your lips over and over again as he worked to make you feel good. His fingers pumped in and out of you rhythmically as his tongue kept at your clit. He curled them at the knuckle, feeling your walls contract around him, noting the way your back was arching involuntarily.

He lifted his head for a spare moment to stare at your, continuing the rigor of his fingers. “Look at me when you come.” He told you in undertone, voice almost broken.

You couldn’t react in the moment. Your head was thrown back against the mattress, legs squeezing around his head as he returned his tongue to your slit. Your eyes were rolling back as he increased the motion of his fingers, adding a third digit, curling again.

Like clockwork, you felt your body shake with unadulterated pleasure. You were thrown over the edge, lifting your head to look down at Luke as you came. His eyes watched you throughout the entirety of your orgasm, his tongue tasting every inch of you.

Soon, your breathing slowed and your muscles relaxed. Luke craned his neck to get a better look at you, taking his fingers into his mouth, tasting you. You stared at him in a daze. His lips wrapped around his fingers, painted a darker pink.

Your body was exhausted from the orgasm. It had been so long since you felt something like that. Still, the way Luke looked so primal and animalistic was making you stir. He was at his feet again, towel dropped, towering body in its purest form for you.

“Luke,” You said his name again. “C’mere.”

You didn’t need to say it. He was already on top of you, laying you down on the bed again. You could feel his erection flush against the inside of your thigh. He ignored it, focused on kissing you. The necklace he wore dragged over your skin as he hovered over you.

You wrapped your arms around him, nails scratching over skin. He kissed you slowly, as if he could have done so forever. You let him pepper his lips down your neck and over the hollow of your throat. His hair tickled at your face, and when he lifted his head, you couldn’t look away from his beauty.

“Let me feel you,” You mumbled, your touch travelling south. You wrapped your hand around his cock, feeling how he was practically aching.

He inhaled sharply once you squeezed and began stroking. It was taking everything for him not to collapse on top of you as you jerked him off, twisting at his head, watching his reaction to your movements.

“Hard as a rock for you,” he admitted lowly, facial features tense. “Fuck.”

“Can I taste?” You asked tentatively. Your voice didn’t sound like your own in the dim quiet of the room. It was strained, yet eager.

“Mm,” Luke hummed. “Wanna feel your pretty mouth.”

You looked up at him once he sat upright. His long legs were outstretched on the mattress as his arms supported his weight. He watched you, stroking himself a few times while you shifted before him. His dick stood straight and flushed at the tip, enticing.

You laid on your stomach before him, running your tongue along the underside of his shaft, building moisture. You wrapped your lips around his head and sucked harshly, looking up at him beneath your lashes. He winced at the sensitive feeling, his abdomen muscles clenching and jaw tensing. You could tell he wanted to curse but was trying to keep quiet.

You moved your mouth lower down his length, feeling his tip hit the back of your throat as you struggled to take it all. Luke’s hand flew to your head, keeping you there for a moment as he took his bottom lip between his teeth.

“Shit, take it, baby,” He drawled out. His tone was wrecked.

He moved your hair out of your face as you came back up for air and then licked his shaft again. You developed a rhythm, hollowing your cheeks and sucking his tip, stroking what you couldn’t fit. Luke’s head was thrown back in pleasure, his biceps flexing as he moved to lean back on his elbows. He was so lost, so hyperfocused on how you were making him feel.

You moved down to his balls, taking each in your mouth one at a time. You looked at him all the while, seeing how his eyes rolled as you sucked, then released. He was gripping the comforter so hard his knuckles were white. When you moved back to his dick, he shook his head.

“I’m about to come, we have to stop,” He breathed out through gritted teeth. “Okay, fuck.”

You couldn’t help the small prideful smile that toyed at your lips. He sat for a moment, catching his breath before looking to you again. When he met your smirk, you knew that he was enjoying himself clearly. You wondered how many times he truly did think of that moment.

“Wanna be inside you,” Luke muttered. He sat up, pulling you toward him for a kiss. “You want that?”

“Yeah, I do,” You breathed.

Luke turned so that his weight was hovering over you again, his eyes scanning over your body. He was so immersed in the moment, in the chemistry between the two of you, and it made you wonder how long he had been thinking of you. Did he always feel this way? You certainly didn’t, but something changed when he sat down with you on the beach yesterday. It was a new kind of connection. There was the Luke you knew for all of those years, and the Luke that was there before you. It was an intense and lovely combination.

Luke brushed your hair back and out of your face, moving so that he was situated between your legs. There was a brief moment where he met your eyes and you could see that this was different for him. There was a history and there was a present, and he had hoped for that.

Luke lined himself up with your entrance and pushed. Your walls constricted around him, adjusting to his girth, and that familiar pressure resonated inside you again. You and Luke sighed in sync, both in relief and out of pleasure. He bottomed out, slowly, feeling all of you and you feeling every inch of him.

“Fuck, you feel so good,” Luke muttered, his lips at your ear.

You braced yourself when he pulled out, then thrusted forward again, his hips against yours. You reveled in the feeling; the warmth of his body on top of yours, the pressure building in your stomach, the breathless noises Luke was making at your ear. You had never felt such pleasure and peace at once.

You wrapped your legs around Luke’s frame as he started moving into you quicker, deeper. The new angle hit you and you moaned out quietly, making an acute effort to silence yourself as much as possible. Luke lifted his head to look at you as he pushed in and out, in and out. You could only lock eyes as he fucked into you, lulling you into a stage of pleasure.

His brow was furrowed and his mouth was agape as he propped himself up over you. You could tell that he was already far gone, with small beads of sweat gathering around his hairline. Still, although he was immersed in the euphoria of it all, he leaned down, his lips brushing over yours. “Always been so beautiful.”

You moved your hands from his back to his face, cupping his jaw. His pace slowed again with this new position and your lips met, body jolting each time Luke bottomed out. He let his tongue drag over yours slowly. The kiss was sloppy but somehow flawless. The both of you had never been that close to someone, limbs completely intertwined, attached yet separate.

He dropped his lips to the crook of your neck, letting his face stay buried in your skin as he started up his pace again. You laid back, eyes rolling as he fucked into you more pointedly, hitting your g-spot with the thrust of his hips.

“Fuck, Luke, don’t stop,” You breathed out, your hands at each side of your head on the mattress.

“How’s it feel?” Luke mumbled, lifting his head again, eyes low as they watched your face contort into an expression of pleasure.

“So good,” You exhaled, teeth clenching when he thrusted forward abruptly.

You were suddenly surprised when you felt Luke’s hand on top of yours, fingers interlocked as he continued moving inside of you. He held onto you, his light eyes still trained on yours. He looked so pretty like that.

“Gonna come soon,” He told you, lips against your neck again. “You gonna come with me?”

“Mm,” You could only hum in reply.

Luke’s steady pace was building you up, sweat prickling up on your skin. You could feel every inch of him as he fucked in and out, lips dancing over your collarbone, eyes occasionally looking to you curiously. He cared. He wanted you to feel good, to feel like he did in that moment.

A low grunt emitted from his throat told you that he was getting close. The sounds that left him only fueled your arousal, and you held him tight against you as he worked to reach both of your highs. He moved his weight to his elbows, practically laying on top of you as his hips moved forward with every thrust. The new proximity made your body shiver, and soon, you were moaning quietly into Luke’s shoulder, thrown over the edge.

“That’s it,” Luke praised in undertone. His words were slightly broken as he felt you come around his length, your body writhing beneath his.

He leaned up once he felt his orgasm approach. You were panting, a heaving mess of limbs beneath him as he pulled out of you, stroking himself until his come painted your torso. His jaw contracted and his brow furrowed, a short whimper exiting his lips as he came, your name falling from his tongue.

Once his breathing returned to its normal pace, he let himself lay beside you for a moment. His cheeks were flushed, heartbeat erratic in his chest, but he was contented. You could sense this by the way he turned to look at you, tilting your head to look at him with his fingertips.

“I fell in love with you, back then. I never forgot you.” He said. “Things may be different now, but that will always stay the same.”

[goodgodbean]

Dancing With A Stranger

There is no active Masterlist

Prompt used

**Not based on the song by Sam Smith and Normani**

Description: Reader and Ashton Irwin are strangers at a club, and Reader has something to prove.

Words: 1,583

+++

Bars, night life, alcohol, three words that would never describe you. As a serious college student, living in Boston, you barely have time to breath, between text books, classes, and trying to remember to eat. People talk about the freshman 15, when the college freshman gain about 15 pounds, but for you it was the freshman 20, and you lost them. When you almost looked anorexic at one point, your roommate dragged you down to the cafeteria and forced pasta down your throat. So it became routine, every night after her 7pm class, the two of you would be the last out of the dining hall. 

Today was special though. You and your roommate Cammie Carson, finished finals. It’s still a week before you had to vacate campus in favor of going home, but it was done. Junior year is down the drain, and finally would you put your legal drinking age to good use. She drags you out to some ‘hip’ club in the heart of the city, forces you through the line, before dumping you on a barstool, with the hot press of bodies around you. Everybody in the whole club it seemed wanted to get around you to the bartender, who did nothing to help the situation. You have no idea where your roommate went, but that was the least of your worries. You were just trying to get out of the throng of people gathered around you. 

You slip off the stool (more like got pushed off), and started to one of the corners of the room with all intentions of hiding. It’s dark in the corner, a perfect hiding spot away from the light show. You’re shocked when you find that the corner is already occupied. You make a quick turn to walk away from the curly-haired boy, but he had already seen you. 

“You’re welcome to stand with me,” He has to shout over the music, but the offer seems genuine. So once again you change the trajectory of your walk and make your way over to him. He’s leaning against one of the wall, almost in the corner completely. You lean against the other wall and cross your arms over my chest. The ridiculous dress Cammie forced you into suddenly seems to get tighter with him near you. Now that you are both almost chest to chest you can see his features more clearly. A strong jaw, floppy hair that looks like an unnatural shade of red, and high cheekbones looks down at you. 

“Thanks,” You nod to him, expecting that to be the last of your conversation. You scan the room, just to keep your eyes off the gorgeous guy unnaturally near you. You hadn’t been this near to a guy since Freshman year of college. You still had a boyfriend then, and were intimate, but long-distance didn’t look good on either of you and a messy break-up happened. Since then, you dove into your studies so much that you wouldn’t even notice the glances some guys give you. 

“Do you come here often?” The handsome man asks, taking a sip out of a beer. His eyes are piercing yours and your mouth becomes dry. How do you react when the sexist man you’ve ever seen is staring into your eyes with his sole focus on you? You try to compose yourself, and it eventually works.

“God, no.” A response was shot out. He looks at you shocked, and you are suddenly aware how aggressive and embarrassing your response is. You close your eyes, thinking you’ve already messed up polite small talk. How does someone do that so quickly?

“Do you not like clubs?” He asks, getting over his initial shock. His eyebrows are tucked in and he looks genuinely curious for your response. 

“No, there isn’t really any appeal to me. My friend dragged me here,” you say, with a small and quick shrug. You continue to scan the crowed after a couple moments of silence, but when he speaks it brings your attention back to him. 

“People come here to distract from their insufferable lives, plus, once you start dancing you might really enjoy yourself,” He challenges. You're not one to back down from a challenge, but this challenge is from a stranger. One that you will probably never meet again. One that you don’t even know the name of. Something about the offer makes you want to drag him out to the floor, but your head is red flags and warning bells. 

“Trust me, I don’t need a distraction from my life. I love my life,” You don’t know why you're getting so defensive with a stranger. But it feels natural to oppose him. By the shock on his face, he hasn’t been told off in awhile and something makes you proud that you did. “Plus it’s just so… I don’t know? Dirty?” You struggle to find the word as you watch people grind on each other. All of them no doubt strangers. Any respectable couple would never be seen here. 

“It’s not dirty. We’re all consenting adults here. I think you’re just scared,” He once again is challenging me, but this time I fall for it. 

“I’m not scared!” You shout a little louder than you need to. 

The man just shakes his head a little to show that he doesn’t believe me. “You are.”

“I’m really really not.” At this point you don’t know when you got so flustered. Why are you so nervous? Is your face red? It’s all fleeting thoughts when he says his next sentence. 

“Change my mind.” It’s the ultimate challenge. Would you take the bait? Well you were never one to back down. 

“Okay. Dance with me. You’ll see,” You sound cocky to the ear, but your insides are buzzing around and you might throw up at any second. The man just lifts his eyebrows for a moment, but you find his hand and drag him in the mess of people grinding on each other. 

His hands find your hips easily, and you start your tease by swinging your hips a little. You feel stiff, even to yourself, and definitely to the man. He squeezes your side a little and leans down to your ear. “Let go,” He whispers. It feels like a magical spell, or maybe just validation, but your really start dancing. 

You couldn’t describe what happened, or how you danced. All you really remember is shouting lyrics, his endless brown eyes, your hips moving, and the bodies around you bumping into you. In those fleeting moments, did you feel free. As corny and cliche as if might sound, you lost yourself in the music. You forgot about your exam papers, studies, packing to leave, and just about anything in your life. You forgot your own name for minutes at a time. It didn’t bother you for a moment that your didn’t know your dancing partners name

So when another pop-song-made-EDM finished, it felt natural to kiss him. His head ducked down a little, yours peaked up, and while the next song starts, your tongues clash. It feels like nothing else in the world, kissing this stranger. 

It feels like sunshine on your skin, summer nights, campfire stories, and most of all it feels like home. A home that you know you’ll never have. So when you pull away, and yell into his ear that your getting a drink, you know your not going to find him again. You find your friend at the bar, and you drag her out. 

Little did you know that the man, Ashton Irwin, was looking for you the rest of the night, wanting a number. Wanting to see you again. Wanting something more than an electrifying kiss. You were gone though, nowhere to be found. 

So it’s the next morning in your dorm room, that you wake up to Cammie squealing. You groan, and even though you didn’t drink, you felt hung-over. “What Cammie?” You ask, almost falling asleep as she tries to catch her breath. 

“Did you know Ashton Irwin was at the club last night?” She is yelling, and you're sure the other student can hear her through the thin walls.

“Who?” you ask. You’re eyes can’t even open all the way. 

“Ashton Irwin! From 5 Seconds of Summer!” She’s yelling and shoving a phone in your face. You open your eyes enough to see a paparazzi picture of the man you were dancing with last night. You don’t know how to respond for the first time in your life. You, the know-it-all suddenly doesn’t know the answer. The idea of that scares you.

It’s hours later though that you reach a final decision about your feelings. There’s no point in trying to tweet to him. With the mess of tweets and Instagram DM’s that he gets, yours would be lost in the crowd. So, coming to the conclusion that you’ll never see him again. He’ll never be interested you like that. It was a one-night thing that won’t be repeated. It’s the secret you may carry to your grave, because the experience shouldn’t be tainted with other peoples opinions. For that one night he was a stranger. He wasn’t Ashton Irwin from the band 5SOS, he was just a stranger to you. 

He’ll always be your stranger. 

[thiost]

Hey! I saw your post about not blaming aro/ace communities for your own questioning process, and the line about how you realized you were more comfortable being read as a feminine man than a masculine woman struck a weird, almost familiar chord with me. (currently I'm a cis woman). Can you talk a little bit about that, how it feels, and how you figured it out?

sure!

at the time, i hated being seen as feminine or being put in feminine situations. when i got my dress for band for our "formal attire", i cried. a lot. when i got my hair done and everything about it screamed "girl" i cried and got it redone a few days later. i couldn't wear form fitting shirts without feeling nauseous because of the way it showed my chest.

i came to a conclusion that i was nonbinary and butch! but over time i got this feeling that... i wasn't really butch?? seeing other butch women talk about themselves and their experience with gender made me feel weird and confused, cause it wasn't me at all!

im a naturally feminine person, so why did all these feminine things make me want to scream? if im not butch, then what am i??

now, i realize that im a man with severe social dysphoria. i love me, but i don't love how cis people think of me. i WANT to wear a dress and grow long hair and paint my nails. i want to do what i want without a care in the world and wear what i want!

but i wanna do that as a man. i wanna do that with a beard and a square jaw and a flat chest and a deep voice. i cant do that now, because even when i over compensate by wearing "mens clothes" to be read as a man, I'm still misgendered. so I've been limited to a specific group of clothes in which i can at least pass as very androgynous.

me being a "gnc women" was actually me over compensating masculinity for the barest hope, the slightest chance that some cis lady could glance at me out of the corner of her eye and call me "young man" instead of "miss".

i went to the hospital and the receptionist called me "him" and "your son" when talking to my dad and it made me want to cry because she was right, she was actually fuckin right!!!! it felt so right and it was a sorta happiness and love that i honestly cant describe! and every time i get called kal and him and he and boy everything feels a bit more hopeful and i know that this is where im meant to be.

if you're unsure, it's okay! it was never a clear cut choice for me either! i was so unsure when i first switched to being trans man. i thought I'd question for like, a week then go back to being a lesbian. if you can, just give the label a try!!! ask a few close friends to refer to you as a man and if you dont like it then you can always tell them to stop and change your mind.

i was so scared of calling myself a trans man because i was so scared of "flip flopping" between identities but if it's what you need to do to figure out who you are, then do it! it's okay! <3

if u have any more questions or wanna talk to me abt it, hit me up!!! my dm's are open, and u can message me on discord too!

ghostyTrickster #2113

[sawyersick]

1 through 69 because you gotta twin with me

OMG ASDFGHJKL

aight here goes bitchez

1. are you religious?

nahh but my parents sent me to church camp when I was in elementary school??? For the cheap childcare I guess???

2. what animal do you think you’re most like?

I haven’t thought about this much but I think a field mouse!!

3. how do you take your coffee?

never……………………… I hate coffee

4. how old were you when you had your first kiss?

my mom’s bosses son forced himself on me when we were 6 lol so I don’t count that……….. so 15 i guess (according to my friend, if there’s no hormones it doesn’t count lol)

5. museum date or aquarium date?

AQUARIUM AQUARIUM AQUARIUM

6. do you have any tattoos or piercings? do you want more?

Just my ears are pierced and I have a whale (badly) tattooed on my hip I’ll post pix if you want but its pretty uggo

I want another whale on the other side so I’ll be symmetrical and a triangle hand tat….. maybe an eyeball tat (a tattoo of an eyeball…. not one on my eye lol)? I’m not really interested in anymore piercings tho

7. favorite fruits?

strawberries!!!

8. favorite vegetables?

when I was 12 I ate so many carrots my skin turned orange and my mom thought I had jaundice

also I heckin love mushrooms

9. i’ll only date you if _____. (fill in the blank)

I’ll only date you if you treat me with respect :(

10. do you cry a lot?

yeah lol at least twice a month minimum

11. who are your closest friends?

I don’t really have any? I’ve felt distant from my irl friends lately so idk probably just demo

12. have you ever been a part of a protest or a march?

I did the walk out for gun violence

13. do you play any video games?

helllllls yeah but I usually only play 3/ds

14. did you ever have an emo or scene phase?

yes and I think I’m still in it rip

15. what color is most of your wardrobe?

I think I wear a lot of blue! and black and white too i guess…… I’m trying to add more reds tho

16. what do you like to do for fun?

I bake and sew and draw! and listen to music

17. what is your biggest fear?

body horror tw for this one rip

being abandoned, being forced to do horrifically gross/unclean stuff, getting my eyes gouged out, getting the bones in my hands broken, getting acid poured on my face, the people around me dying, being forced to eat live slugs, getting my skin peeled off with a knife

18. name a subject you know a lot about.

whales/the ocean in general and baking!! and the band Liily

19. favorite fictional characters?

hm idk? Link and Zelda from LoZ, Clover and Snake and Aoi from 999, rhyme from TWEWY, Maka and Soul from Soul Eater, Storm from the Xmen, Ariel from the Little Mermaid, Chun Li, the Kagamines, Rilakkuma

idk I just thought about characters I have merch for

20. do you read a lot? what are your favorite books?

I used to??? Haven’t had the time for it in a while though and I’ve been reading a lot of how-to books as of late….. I really liked the Legend trilogy though

21. how would you describe your style?

art style and fashion style would both be classified as “cute but tries to be edgy” I think

22. did you have a favorite stuffed animal when you were little? do you still own it?

Yes!! a pastel elephant with a rattle in it named Elephant (very creative I know) He’s in my stuff somewhere now and this question reminded me to go find him again

23. what’s something most people love that you hate?

hmmm…. sports? mustard? airpods???? idk

24. do you think you’re a good singer?

actually yes? I wanna be in a band but I’m lowkey afraid of singing in front of people I know but have no problem doing it in front of an audience of strangers hmu if you’re in the SF bay area I’ve written 6 punk songs

25. who do you live with?

my parents and cat

26. favorite desserts?

ice cream, anything with chocolate or whipped cream, creme brulee, lemon tarts

I’m not too picky though lol

27. what is the best decision you’ve made in your life so far?

realizing that I can actually do mostly whatever I want and most things have fewer consequences than I think

also cutting people out of my life that emotionally exhaust me

28. favorite makeup brands?

uhhhh whatever’s cheap and doesn’t make my eyes burn ig urban decay is good when I can afford it

29. favorite clothing stores/brands?

Goodwill??? I used to shop at f21 but I try not to anymore

30. what was your first job?

working at a lake teaching windsurfing and sailing and I still work there

31. do you take a lot of naps?

n o  I absolutely  h a t e  taking naps and try to avoid them

32. what is your favorite part about your body?

hmm I have pretty good hair i think and sometimes my eyes? I have huge (genetic) eyebags tho which gets me down

33. are you more dominant or more submissive?

In day to day life I guess I’m more dominant??? like I make decisions when nobody else wants to :0 also idk intimately since iM aN aDuLt vIrGiN and pretty sex repulsed but probably sub 

34. are you more outgoing or more shy?

outgoing but sometimes it makes me annoying

35. how tall are you?

short…………………………. 4′8/143 cm

36. what is your body type?

uhh hourglass????? maybe pear I got them Thunder Thighs according to the guy who got kicked out of drama club for peeping in the girls changing room

37. favorite flower?

calendula, sunflowers, lavender and dianthus!!

38. favorite planet?

Neptune??????????????????

39. what do you want to dress up as for halloween this year?

I wanna be the bride of frankentstein but in a shiro lolita coordinate to make her look ~fancy~ or the Nancy part of Sid and Nancy if I’m in a relationship by that time

40. do you prefer to date people the same age as you, younger, or older?

Ideally the same age and I’m wary of dating anyone more than 2 years younger or older than me but I’m more willing to date older than younger

41. describe the person you’re in love with/have a crush on in great detail.

yall know who it is already but

in a band, dark hair, kinda tall, very fashionable, coincidentally happens to be the same racial mix as me, good at art, very humble, really sweet, lives in SoCal, has a hand tattoo of milk and “aye yah” on his arm, paints his nails orange, wears a lot of rings, gets freckles in the summer, prefers vanilla over chocolate, ties his shoes the cool way

42. who is your biggest inspiration?

idk at the moment? I like to draw from many inspirations

43. do you have any kinks?

???????????????????????????????????

44. do you own any pets?

one (1) very loving cat

45. which celebrity do people say you look the most like?

……………………….. myself

I literally had to google mixed race celebrities and STILL none look like me lol

46. do you like sports?

not really except I weirdly like baseball

47. have you ever seen a broadway musical?

Yes!! I won tickets to On Your Feet and Charlie and The Chocolate Factory

I also won Hamilton tickets but saw it in SF yall should download the app

48. what is your favorite kind of food?

noodles!!

49. would you rather be a fairy or a mermaid?

MERMAID actually I have a mermaid tail too so

50. what is your instagram?

@wishwhale :)

51. glossy lips or matte lips?

glossy by default because I have chronically dry skin/lips so matte lips are sooooooooooooooo uncomfy but it looks good on other people lol

52. do you like cherry, grape, blue raspberry, watermelon, or green apple jolly ranchers the best?

grape because im weird

53. what are your best personality traits?

I’d like to think that I’m kind and sometimes funny

54. what is your ethnicity?

asian/white

55. what different hair colors have you had?

brown and brown with pink that was supposed to be purple

56. favorite disney princess?

Ariel! bc mermaid

57. favorite album of 2017?

Humanz by Gorillaz  or Deep Dream by Daddy Issues I guess

I was weirdly obsessed with Feel Your Feelings Fool when it came out but I’m not really into it anymore though

58. have you ever had braces?

nah

59. favorite holiday?

Halloween! Because dressing up is fun

60. post a selfie.

how do I make this smaller anyways I don’t normally wear this much makeup but I’m going to a small show tonight

61. are you a good swimmer?

Yes!! I swim once a week at my local pool

62. do you wear jewelry?

I used to wear a lot………. like multiple necklaces and bracelets and rings daily but now I wear my ring every day and a necklace/earrings if I remember

63. can you play any instruments?

I’m learning guitar!!

64. do you have any siblings?

short answer is no but you can dm me for the long answer

65. are your grandparents still alive? how old are they?

just my maternal grandmother and she is almost 90! My paternal grandmother lived to 102 so I’m hoping for those good genes though (I think she would have lived longer because my family suspects elder abuse by my weird aunt)

66. who knows the most about you?

hmm probably Demo or Emily

67. are you a more quiet person or do you talk a lot?

I! Never! Shut! Up!

68. what advice would you give to your 13 year old self?

shut the fuck up you stupid bitch you arent cool

69. how many pillows do you sleep on?

two

[sunigyrl]

Anqualë: Past is Prologue

Series Summary: The Queen of Mirkwood was lost to her kingdom almost two centuries ago after a battle with orc marauders. King Thranduil and Prince Legolas have worked to move on, but the past still shrouds their lives. Try as they might, the agony of loss still dogs their steps. Yet things are not always what they seem...

Series Pairings: Thranduil x Wife!OFC, Legolas x Mother!OFC

Warnings: None

Word Count: 1687

A/N: OMG, she finally dropped something! Yes, yes I did. Gasp, it’s a Lord of the Rings/Hobbit fic! Yes, yes it is. This little multi chapter gem has actually been in the works for quite some time now. Shout out to @daytimeheroicsonly and @killmongersaidheyauntie for convincing me finally post it. I foresee this being a long one, so buckle your seat belts kids. Chapter two is done, so I’ll drop that later this afternoon. I tagged people that I thought would be down for my foolishness. DM me or send me an ask if you want on or off my tag list.

*The picture below is what I envision the OC to look like with the exception of her hair color. This picture is the inspiration for her look in this chapter with a few minor color changes to her hair and outfit.

Part 2

Sunlight. That was the first thing that he felt. Radiant sunlight, bright and pure pouring down on him. It warmed his body and rejuvenated his spirit. Taking a deep breath as he opened his eyes, he realized that he was no longer in his bed. No longer inside the halls of his castle, or even the forests of Mirkwood for that matter. No. Everything was different. The forest that surrounded him was different, yet strangely familiar. He knew this place, though he had not been here in many millenia. It had been destroyed in the war during the First Age. Yet somehow he found himself back here. Back home in Doriath. As he took in the sights and sounds of the lost forest, he committed everything to memory. The summer flowers that carpeted the forest floor in a mosaic of vibrant color. The trees, tall and strong, offering a rich green canopy that filtered the light in different patterns. The sound of the great river on the air as it rushed across the land in the distance. Birds sang wondrous tunes of old as animals scampered to and fro. This was home. Absorbing the wonders for a moment longer, it was then that he heard it. A laugh that sounded like the golden bells of the Great Hall. It had been so long since that laugh had graced his ears, but he recognized it immediately. He could never forget it. It was her laugh. Walking toward the sound, he searched through the trees. He could not yet see her, but he could tell he was getting closer. At once it was as loud as if she were right beside him; he knew she must be near. Rounding the tree and expecting to see her, he was greeted only with a gentle breeze. Looking around, he saw a flash of silver disappear into a grove of trees not ten yards ahead. Following the flash, he could still hear the laugh beckoning him to continue on. Moving further into the forest, he increased his speed in an effort to try and catch her. After many minutes of dashing around trees, jumping across streams and hopping over rocks, he noticed that he seemed to be getting closer. Where he only saw flashes of silver before, he was now catching glimpses of an arm and a leg as well. But why was she running from him? Why this game of chase?

Suddenly, he realized that day had become night during his pursuit. The moon now shone down upon the forest and lit his path. Yet he couldn't stop to take in the change. He had to keep going. He was so close to her now. So close that he was sure with another few steps he'd be able to reach out and touch her.

"Thranduil", he heard her breathy call as it flowed along the wind and wrapped around him. He looked up in time to see her make one last turn before she finally came to a halt.

Stopping several yards from her, he noticed that they were standing in the middle of a clearing on a cliff that overlooked the river. He knew this cliff. This was where he spoke to her for the first time all those years ago. It had been during one of the great Feasts of Starlight when her uncle came to visit with his royal court. Seeing her dance under the stars during the evening celebration from his post was a sight to behold. There was something so wild, so free, so in tune with nature about her. She was nothing like the elleth girls of his lands, nor any of the others he had visited. He had to meet her. That night, much like this one, he had followed her into the forest. At first it was just to see her once again. To catch a glimpse of her uninhibited and in the wild. Something told him that this was her natural element, and that he would find her here. Following the glittering sound of her laugh, he came upon her standing in this very spot. Her back to him, she lifted her head and basked in the glowing light of the full moon while humming to the nightingales' song. Many nights he found himself listening to that same song and finding comfort. He never knew of another that enjoyed it as much as he. Yet here seemed to be such a being. And what a beautiful being she was. Her hair cascaded in endless waves of silvery white that softly fell just beyond her hips. The moonlight giving it an ethereal shimmer as it blew untamed in the midsummer night's breeze. The top portion had been pulled back from her face into three intricately woven braids that were bound together high upon her head by a decorative white leather band that was studded with multicolored gems. The hair that flowed from the band was left loose and silky so that it fluttered behind her. Upon her body she wore a robe that was unlike any he had ever seen before. Instead of the usual long flowing silk, it was made of long, thick bands of white leather fringe that hung from a solid leather neck and shoulder piece. From where he stood, Thranduil could see that the fringe, though beautiful during the dance as it twisted in the air, offered little in the way of modesty or cover. The fringe covered skin below the shoulder piece was exposed to him. Through the wide bands he could see her gracefully long arms, rich and chestnut in color. He could also see the gentle curves of her lithe back, bare and fully exposed. As she turned toward him, he took in the rest of her image. Staring at her uplifted face he could see from her profile that she had beautifully high cheekbones, a perfectly crafted nose, and lips that were as plump as  summer berries. A decorative adornment of white, silver and gold was carefully painted across her forehead and down her temples and the bridge of her nose. The design patterned to look like the moon surrounded by the stars. Hoops of quilted silver and gold framed her face. Her neck was long and graceful, like that of the rare and beautiful black swan that swam in the garden pools of the palace. Moving downward he saw the clasp of her robe, fashioned from multicolored gems, resting in the hollow of her neck just above her exposed décolleté. Oh how warm and inviting her earth toned skin looked. He wondered if it would be as soft to the touch as it appeared. Drawing his eyes down her frame, he saw that the bodice of her costume was that of tightly woven white leather interwoven with ropes of pure gold and silver. Jewels danced between the contrasting materials and made them sparkle. The sweetheart neckline and tight waist accented her every dip and curve to make them pop. Her skirts were made of a glorious sheer white chiffon material that seemed as light and airy as the wind itself. Slits were cut into the front on both sides and stopped just above her mid thigh so that he could see her impossibly long brown legs. She was barefoot, and bands of gold and silver encircled her ankles and wrists. Staring at the beauty, he silently pleaded for her to show him her eyes. Something within him knew that they had to be her most enchanting feature. As if hearing his request, she lowered her head from her moon bathing and aligned her face with his. As she slowly opened her almond shaped eyes, he saw glowing pools of liquid silver staring at him. To him they looked as if they were made of pure moonlight. Beauty such as this could only be crafted by the Valar, for there was no way in his mind that mere beings of Middle Earth could create such a creature. But this couldn't be happening. This event had taken place several millennia ago. When they were both quite young. She a visiting young Avari princess and he a prince and new Captain of the Guard. Looking down at himself, he saw that he was in fact wearing the royal guard dress uniform from that night. How were they back in this moment? “Thranduil, a'maelamin", he heard her whisper as he looked up to see she now wore a soft smile. Her hands stretched to him. “Arahaelil", he breathed as he stepped forward to meet her. But on the third step, everything changed. Suddenly the stars were hidden and the wind began to fiercely howl around him. It swiftly pushed clouds in front of the moon so that it shone down as a sliver a light that illuminated only her. Everything else was bathed in a darkness so black that it was palpable. It felt breathtaking and evil. At once her arms fell to her side and shackles appeared about her wrists. Chains formed and seemed to extend from the shackles into the great darkness behind her body. The rich chestnut of her skin faded away to an ashen grey. Her silver eyes suddenly swirled to a pool of murky white as her smile contorted to a look of pain and torment. As he made to step closer still to finally take hold of her, he found that he could no longer move. His feet were being held in place by some force, though he saw nothing around them. Looking to her once more, he realized the chains were pulling her backward toward the cliff's edge. His own face twisting into a look of fear and desperation, he stretched forth his hand and screamed out her name. "ARAHAELIL!" With a lone tear trailing down her cheek, her milky white eyes focused on his and caused him to still. "Help me", was the last thing he heard her say in a whispered plea before her bonds were given a swift yank and she plummeted backward off the cliff into darkness.

Tag List: @daytimeheroicsonly @killmongersaidheyauntie @chefjessypooh @onyour-right

[abdicatedarchive]

the aftermath || chase and marina

𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐍: chase’s house // 7th of february 2021.

𝐅𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: chase x marina.

𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐆𝐄𝐑𝐒: none?

𝐃𝐄𝐓𝐀𝐈𝐋𝐒: chase is devastated by his breakup with gabrielle, and marina comes over to comfort him.

@chasinwaterfalls: single :( not by choice 🤡🤡🤡

DMs: @marinaholly: you okay? maybe a quest can help!

DMs: @chasinwaterfalls: biggest quest I am doing is moving from the couch to my bed

DMs: @marinaholly: :( what happened?

DMs: @chasinwaterfalls: she dumps me all the time, but i think she was actually serious this time, she hasn't talked to me in a few days

DMs: @marinaholly: im sure everything will work out. i can come over if you want?

DMs: @chasinwaterfalls: i am a mess, but please do

DMs: @marinaholly: omw

Chase usually kept a pretty clean house, but there were dishes crowding the sink and bags of trash waiting by the door for him to take out. The maid usually came by once a week, but he had told her to go away this morning. He was too ashamed to have her clean up his mess. He had been watching Bachelor re-runs of his favorite seasons for the last two days, and eating whatever he felt like ... if he did feel like eating. He had sweatpants on and a big baggie hoodie, just becoming one with the couch.

Marina decided to stop by a connivence store and grab a bunch of candy for Chase in hopes that it would cheer him up a bit. She also snuck a bottle of wine from her house, hoping her mom wouldn’t catch on. Though Marina was technically the one to do the breaking up in her relationship with Kyle, she was very familiar with heartbreak. Once she got to the Hale’s property, she made her way over to Chase’s house and knocked on the door. She would have dressed up a bit more, but it was Chase. She was comfortable being around him in the casual clothes she was in.

Chase heard the knock at the door and called out loudly, "ITS UNLOCKED, COME AND MURDER ME!" Chase felt beyond exhausted to begin with. All his friends were so happy right now, and the break ups usually didn't last ... but this one felt more real than the others. He hadn't even seen his daughter in a few days, he had just been absorbed by the couch. "Hey Marina" he said looking over at her, not moving his body at all.

Marina opened the door and noticed how messy the house was. He usually kept it pretty clean, but she understood how it could get to this state considering the fact that he just got dumped. They had been together for so long, this must have hurt so much. She was in a groupchat with Gabrielle and Juliette, but she hadn't mentioned anything yet. It was actually pretty quiet in there recently. Marina made a mental note to clean the place up later. She headed to his room and walked in slowly, "Hello. Deliver for Chase Stephens." she said as she held up the candy and wine. "How are you feeling?"

"I feel like death" said Chase, realizing he had not brushed his teeth in a hot minute. "I will be right back, make yourself comfortable in the depression crevice." Chase headed off to his bathroom to go brush his teeth and quickly came back, "Okay now I'm not completely disgusting" said the boy as he plopped back down on the couch, "You want to watch the bachelor?" he joked as he turned the TV off. Chase put his head in Marina's lap, "Thanks for coming over here, the guys just don't get it. They're all way too happy right now."

Marina frowned at her friend and sat down on the couch as she waited for him to come back. "Well we could if you want." she said, trying to keep the mood as positive as possible. "Whatever you want, I'm up for." she nodded once. Marina looked down at Chase once he laid his head on her lap. She automatically began to run her fingers through his hair, it was just something she did a lot to Kyle. "Of course." she spoke softly. "Do you want to talk about it? Or maybe I could talk to her for you? I don't want to make anything worse for you though."

Chase sighed as she ran her fingers through his hair, "I know we're gonna get like ... back together at some point. There was a lot of crying, and she was really mad and I was really mad. I think I did the breaking up in the end, but she definitely started it" Chase rambled, "It just sucks because she just ... she fucking keeps me on the line all the time because she knows I'm going to come back to her". He was weak like that. He loved her so much, and he would do anything for her. It had all just become too much. "It's just bullshit, because when we started dating in the 8th grade, I wasn't really wondering things like if she liked what I liked or anything like that. She just thought I was funny, and that was what made me happy. That I could make her laugh, and I love her laugh. Like I seriously love it, but I just feel like other than that we have nothing in common sometimes. Like there's this huge disconnect."

It hurt to hear Chase say that Gabrielle simply knew he would come back to her. Marina was in a very different situation, it almost felt wrong to try and find some common thread between his relationships issues and hers since she was the problem, but sometimes she felt that way. That no matter what Kyle did, who he hooked up with, she would go back to him in heartbeat. It was just a matter of when he'd actually ask her to be his girlfriend again. She settled for what he was giving her right now. "Don't let her have that hold on you. It doesn't seem right for her to treat you however she wants because she knows you'll go back to her. That's just not fair." she tried giving some kind of advice, but it was hard. "Maybe you both could try getting into each other interests? I mean, if you want to try and fix things with her. Like, maybe bring her to a LARPing session. That might be fun." she suggested with a small smile.

The missing piece of the puzzle was of course that Chase and Gabrielle had a kid together, and he lived there. That's what made it all messy, and made him love her just that much more. Chase shook his head when she suggested he bring Gabrielle along, "She doesn't even like dressing up for sex. Closest thing she'd ever do to Larping is she dressed up for Halloween" he replied. They had argued about it a bunch, and they didn't even do a couples costume. "It just doesn't make sense, because she does the costumes for the theatre department. It has to do with the fact that she thinks her dressing up for me is like ... me imagining her as someone else. Which is bullshit, it's just having sex in a character. It's fun, I'm ... I'm fucking assuming. I haven't gotten to try it. I'm off on a tangent, please just tell me to shut up."

"Oh. She won't even try it out once? I've also heard it's fun. Haven't tried it out myself, but here's to hoping one day I could." Marina raised her shoulders and laughed under her breath. She wasn't sure if her ex would be into that, she hadn't brought it up to him before. "No you're fine. Rosie & I go on tangents all the time. We get so off track, it's insane." she smiled, thinking about how chaotic her and her sister's conversations could get. "Plus, it's good to get it all out. You said you couldn't really go to the boys about it, so I don't want you to hold back." she told him. "Have you ever talked to Gabrielle about this? That you feel like there's a disconnect between you both?"

"What am I gonna do, say hey babe. You don't like anything that I like and that sucks. It's just gonna hurt her feelings if I talk like that, I can just keep doing what I do and slowly showing her stuff until she finds something she likes. Not that it matters right now because we're done currently" Chase continued on. He felt like he was putting a lot of weight on Marina, "I'm sorry for being so angry, I'm just so frustrated and I'm tired of crying. I'm ... I'm ready to be mad" he added.

"Well I know she doesn't have to like the things you like, but she could always be supportive of it? Maybe that's not the word." Marina shook her head, trying to find the words. "Like with Kyle, he's super into music. That's his life. I'm terrible with all of that, but I would always go see him perform wherever it was. Even if it was for the marching band back then, I just liked going for him. It made him happy. I would even ask him to teach me how to play something every now and then even though I knew I wouldn't catch on." she explained with a dumb smile on her face as she thought back on those times. "Our interests or hobbies could be a very big part of who we are, so I get why you're frustrated." Marina shook her head as Chase apologized, "Oh please, I'm the last person you need to apologize to for being angry. If you need to get mad, get mad." That wasn't the best advice, but Marina wasn't very good herself at controlling those type of emotions.

"And that's really sweet of you, but music is cool and entertaining even for people who don't participate. She doesn't want to hear me explain my comic books or show her my action figures" said Chase, cooling off a little. He sighed as he sat up to face Marina, "It just sucks, because in a few days she is going to have some guy over and I'm going to hear about it at school, because that's what always happens. One time they were in the pool and I saw them flirting and whatever right in front of my house. I've kissed three people that weren't her in my entire life, and she's had sex with other people" said the boy, "and then we're going to date again and I'm going to have to think about that, and it's ... it's just all shitty. Do you want to watch a movie? I feel like a movie would make things better. I need to distract myself"

Marina nodded her head as she listened to Chase. She understood where he was coming from, but she always enjoyed hearing people gush about the things they were passionate about, though she kept that comment to herself. This wasn't about her, or making Gabrielle look worse, this was about Chase right now. "So why don't you try getting with someone? Maybe it'll take your mind off of it." Yet again, not great advice, but Marina was naturally a very jealous person and liked to make things even. "We could watch a movie. What do you have in mind?"

He looked at her when she said that he should try to get with someone, he immediately had a horny idiot boy thought about being with her. He shoved that thought straight out of his mind, that would be so chaotic and messy. She was his best confidant, and the only person in town that wasn't Jonah that shared all his interests. They had a LARP campaign together, it was a dumb thought. Chase turned to Marina with a smile, "Why don't we ... simply just watch all the bring it ons?" Chase loved the bring it on franchise, "I have all the DVDs don't worry" he said, getting up and opening up the DVD cupboard, pulling all the disks out. "Obviously I don't own a physical copy of cheersmack, but we don't need to watch that anyways" he added with a laugh as he put in the first disk and came back to the couch to sit next to her.

Marina noticed that Chase didn't comment on her suggestion and she quickly regretted bringing it up. If he wanted to get back together with Gabrielle, it was best to not try and mess anything up. She also couldn't help but feel like a bad friend towards Gabrielle. Marina was definitely closer to Chase, whether his ex-girlfriend knew that or not, but she was slowly getting closer to Gabrielle through Juliette. She didn't want to ruin anything. As he began to speak, she could have sworn he was going to suggest that they do something together, something physical. But he brought up watching Bring It On and it caused her to let out an awkward laugh. She was almost embarrassed for thinking that. "There's never a wrong time to watch Bring It On. We can definitely pass on cheersmack. The only good thing about that one is Imogen from Degrassi and Christian from Dance Academy." she said as she passed him the candy she bought him.

"Stoppp, don't say Dance Academy to me. Now I'm either going to have to watch the sammy death reactions on youtube or watch the whole show over again" Chase said with a laugh as he took the candy and opened it up. "You're the best, you know that right?" he said as he passed her the open box.  "Did you want wine? I also have some here if you don't want to get in trouble with your folks" Chase added as he got up to go get them two wine glasses and the bottle opener.

Marina sank into the couch once Chase mentioned Sammy's death, "Oh god, it gets me every time. But I will happily watch the whole show over again with you. Rosie and I haven't watched it in so long." She looked over at him with a proud smile, flashing her teeth in his direction. "I try my best." she stated before taking some candy for herself. "Nah don't worry about it. It's already out of the house, I've accepted my fate." Marina and her mother had been getting into more arguments lately, whether it was from her constant fights at school or her frequent partying. One more fight won't make much of a difference at this point.

"I cry like a bitch, I will be honest" said the boy, smirking a little at the admission. He put the glasses over by them and opened up the wine bottle, pouring two big glasses. "Are you cold?" he asked as he passed her a glass and held his own, "I have some big blankets". The movie was already playing, but it wasn't like they were really going to miss anything. They had both already had seen it so many times. Chase pulled the blanket up over the both of them as he sat next to her. "Cheers" he said as he clinked his glass to hers and started drinking. He kept thinking about what she had said though, that little voice at the back of his head. Telling him to get even with her, level the playing field. Maybe he should ask her to tell Gabrielle that they did something, that was stupid though. He had gotten caught in that lie last time.

"Aww I'll make sure to bring some tissues so you can wipe your tears." Marina teased the boy, as if she doesn't also cry like a bitch over the character's death. She grabbed the glass and nodded her head in response to his question, "A little." Once the blankets were over them, she unintentionally scooted a bit closer to him. It didn't mean anything, she was just a fan of cuddling. Who could blame her? "Cheers!" she repeated before tapping her glass against his gently and taking a big sip. As she was taking her sip, she noticed the bracelet she gave him for Christmas on his wrist. "Hey, nice bracelet. You get that from someone? They must have great taste." she joked with a grin on her face.

Chase was immediately comforted by Marina sitting close to him, he was just so used to cuddling with Gabrielle during movies if she wasn't chasing their kid around. Chase was taking a sip when she asked about the bracelet, "Oh this old thing? Had it forever, cute girl gave it to me in another life" he teased back. Chase wondered if he was pushing some kind of boundary, he would have acted exactly like this when he was dating Gabrielle. Maybe he would have sat a little further away, but calling her cute was nothing new. He felt like he was making up the tension that was building for him.

Marina's small smile grew as Chase mentioned the girl being cute. No matter how insignificant it was for him, comments like that meant a lot to her. She needed to be told something like that to actually believe it, just for a little bit. Hearing it from Chase felt a little different though, maybe it was just the fact that she was particularly lonely right now, but she tried not to think too hard on it. "From another life and you're wearing it now? She must be real special then." she continued to tease him. "I got a feeling you mean a lot to her too."

"My writer thought it would be good for continuity if I wore it across all multiverses" Chase teased as he broke the fourth wall. "Oh is that so" said the boy as he took another sip of wine, the movie playing out in front of them, but neither of them were paying any attention. He was just making eye contact with her and smiling. He knew that he was going to go crawling back to Gabrielle, but something about this made him want her to come crawling back to him. Something about the way she was looking at him.

"Very smart of them." Marina giggled as she nodded her head. "Mhm." she hummed as she shifted a bit to be facing him more directly. "I get why too. You just seem to draw people in." she said as she looked into his eyes. She should have held back and just continued watching the movie, but she couldn't stop. Part of her didn't want to stop. "It might be the hair, it's powerful." she said with a smile. "Or maybe it's that biiiig smile of yours. Very cute." she told him as her eyes travelled down to his lips.

This was most definitely a signal, and this was his only chance. If he blew this he would never kiss Marina Hollingsworth. Not that he had really thought about it at all until right now, but he definitely wanted to. He wanted to pull her in for a kiss, but let's face it. He's a bottom and a whimp. There was no way this girl actually wanted to kiss him, she was just naturally flirty. So was he. "You have that effect on people too" said Chase, staring at her mouth. He was still thinking about kissing her, but he just didn't have the balls to do it.

Marina found herself inching closer and closer to him as he spoke. Any thought of being a good friend to both Chase and Gabrielle went straight out the window. They were both in weird situations with their relationships. But that was the thing, they both weren't in relationships right now, they were free to do what they want. "Yeah? Do I have that effect on you?" she asked as she looked up to his eyes, their lips almost touching at this point.February 9, 2021

He knew he shouldn't be doing any of this, first things first ... she was a teammate. Second thing, she was his larping teammate. Third thing, she was definitely friends with his ex on some level. Fourth thing, she was one of his closest friends. Fifth thing, Chase put his hand on the nape of her neck and pulled her in to kiss her slowly and softly as he put his wine glass down on the table.

Marina closed her eyes as she felt his lips on hers, moving in her closer to him as he did so. She shouldn't have let it get this far, but she was too into the moment to stop. This would be something she'd worry about later, not right now. Marina placed her glass on the table beside his before wrapping her arm around his neck and slowly moving her hand up through his hair.

Chase was sure he should stop, but he couldn't bring himself to. He put his hands on her hips to guide her onto his lap. Chase felt like he should say something, "Is this okay?" he asked under his breath. That was such a stupid thing to say, why did he say that. He was so embarrassed, her put his lips back on hers before she should answer.

Marina placed her hands on Chase's shoulders as she moved on top of him. She was about to answer when he immediately went back to kissing her. It caught her off guard, but she pulled away to speak anyways, "Is this okay?" she asked back. "Should we stop? Do you want to stop?" she asked quietly, her nerves were slowly kicking in. She was worried she was doing something wrong or wasn't pleasing him in some way.

Chase looked up at her and put his hand on her cheek, "You are so hot, it's kinda making me stupid" said Chase honestly. His brain was cloudy from all the crying and sleeping he had been doing for the last few days. His body definitely wanted Marina, that was more than evident. He just didn't want to use her, and he knew he would be with Gabrielle again. "Do you want to keep going?" he asked.

Marina couldn't help but smile at Chase's comment, it slowly eased her tension. She was so fragile when it came to her self esteem. Anything could set her off, but simple compliments fueled her confidence. She needed this kind of distraction anyways, they both did. "Yes, definitely." she said sweetly with the nod of her head before going back in to kiss him slowly.

She said definitely, his whole body relaxed a little. She wanted to do this, and Marina wasn't just doing it out of pity ... well at least not entirely. She put her lips back on his and he moved his tongue into her mouth for a while as they kissed. When their lips parted, Chase knew he was putting his foot in his mouth, "Just two friends, doing very good friend stuff" he replied nervously, "You can shut me up anytime".

Marina cupped the sides of Chase’s face and moved her body up against his as they continued to kiss. She looked at him with a small smile on her face as he spoke again, she couldn’t help but find his nervous comments endearing. “You do this with all your friends? Now I don’t feel so special anyone.” she teased him before kissing down his jaw and to his neck.

This with Marina, it felt like Chases first time all over again. That same nervous excitement, it was an intangible high that he had completely forgotten. He had never done anything like this with anyone. Yeah he had kissed Chanel and ... Thalia. But this was so different. Chanel Hampton was beyond beautiful and very sexy, but that was very transactional. The only rush he had gotten from it was the feeling of getting under Gabrielle’s skin. This? With Marina? It was life giving. “Me and Jonah every Monday night mid clone wars” said Chase, a little out of breath as she worked her way down his neck, letting out a little laugh from the joke and because it tickled.

Marina was quickly becoming more comfortable with all of this. She always felt like she needed to be the best at everything she did, but being around Chase was a breath of fresh air. When she LARPed with him, she never had those worries and that sense of comfort was transferring over to this moment. “That’s some stiff competition.” she continued on with the joke. “But I don’t like to lose.” she told him before sitting up straight and removing her shirt. Marina couldn’t tell how far they were taking this, but her confidence was kicking in again and she didn’t want to hold back. She leaned forward once more to give him a hickey right on the side of his neck.

Chase was going to make a comment about how Jonah is a straight up stud, but when the girl took her shirt off his mind went blank. “Wow, wow” said the boy. He knew it was stupid to say, but he honestly couldn’t control his mouth when hers was on his neck. Chase was aware she was leaving a hickey, but he honestly was going to need the reminder that this wasn’t a dream. “Do you want to go to my room?” he asked as he put his lips on her neck, moving down slowly to the exposed skin.

- Fade to Black - 

[welp-here-i-write]

R34L1TY

A prompt was given to me by @ceridium and I thought immediately of D&D... because I’m a nerd. Premise is Level 20 Party meets the DM. I understand that the ending is rushed, but I just wanted  it to actually have an ending.

Prompt:  "Listen, I know you really want to kill me, but I must inform you: If I die, this entire world ends."

As they continued their weary journey across the plane they now called a prison, the party of adventurers were doing their best to keep up a lighthearted conversation. The Bard, whose name was Ellingal, did her best to continuously keep the group in good cheers, whether with fabulously hilarious yet awe-inspiring lyrics, or a good quip that could end anyone’s upset feelings. Ellingal, continuing to try to simultaneously keep up a song and keep the long, auburn hair out of her face with the strong winds, was never less than pleased. Even on the battlefield, she kept a mild merriment about her.

The Cleric of Melora, Davidon, couldn’t help but laugh at every small attempt of the human bard to brush her hair away. He made a joke of his own about her being quite winded from the experience, to which the rest of the party laughed. Davidon was known for how close he was to Ellingal, even before their band of four came together five years ago. Despite his affinity to nature, Davidon could never see himself as a Druid, and felt the need to help and heal others. Striving to find a happy medium, he became a cleric of the Nature Goddess herself.

Maleo hangs close to Davidon, occasionally taking his hand into his own. A paladin of Melora, Maleo was named for the goddess and chosen by his family to bring greatness and honour to the name of Warrinheart. Yet, he consistently felt as though he failed before he met up with a cleric of his own goddess and the bard without a care that came with him. He quickly became infatuated and flustered around Davidon, yet couldn’t understand his feelings or why he could ever feel this way about another male when he was always told how wrong it was by his family. Yet, in the end, after a harrowing battle where Davidon almost died, he went to him and told him his feelings. Davidon had acted surprised at first, and as Maleo was walking away with embarrassment, Davidon had Misty Step-ed in front of him and kissed him. The beautiful elf boy kissed him.

The last to join the party was a small dwarf named Ko’fek, who could sneak into any building with ease and then vanish into the shadows soon after. The party found the rogue while they themselves were infiltrating a mansion that contained information on a wealthy entrepreneur who bought and sold people for his own sick purposes. They struck a deal with Ko’fek and continued on their way. However, as the job finished and the organization that the entrepreneur attended regularly was felled, Ko’fek stayed with the party. They continued to stay with the party after yet another job was completed. Then another. And another. Until eventually it was just normal and fine and Ko’fek could actually start to talk with the party about themselves and their past. Despite everything though, Ko’fek remains largely a mystery to the group.

So yes, the party had finally been assembled and their legend unfolded before them. Every time they figured something out, yet another problem seemed to appear before them. Each consecutive problem became more and more threatening to the kingdom, no the continent, no the world, no the entire multi-planed reality! Sure, there would be periods of time between everything, yet they always felt shorter than they were supposed to be, and soon enough they were back to adventuring. As the problems became more daunting, however, so did the party. They continued to grow as people, but also in their abilities. Some, such as Davidon, being able to bring back almost anyone from the dead or cure any wound. Some, like Maleo, could resist large amounts of hits and become one with the Ancients with whom he swore an oath to. Everyone revered the traveling party known only as Lux Protecta, and its legendary, almost godlike members.

Now, after several years, the party has received what they imagine to be their final call to action. The very fabric of all of reality seemed to be unwinding, and the party had to employ everything they could to research where it was stemming from. Finally, they found a hit on a small demiplane of reality located in between the Feywild and Shadowfell, yet opposite the Material Plane. Trapped in a continuous limbo of sorts, this demiplane seemed to be experiencing several periods of history, eras and locations all at once, yet the entire plane was frozen in time. Spells cast between casters were stopped in mid-air, their power still toiling within the blast. Creatures searching for prey were stuck in hunched hunt. Several birds were in between the ground and their nest as they surely would’ve plummeted to their doom.

This entire demiplane radiated a simple message that haunted the party in the back of their minds. What if? The voice seemed to call telepathically. The entire demiplane was a collection of what if’s, while the weather changed as frequently as a prismatic spell. The demiplane confused the party more than anything else, however, as they not only had no idea what they were looking for, but also had to find it in a sea of infinite nothingness. At least they had each other, eh?

Yet, as they continue to travel the plane, they are surely getting closer and closer to myself. I’m not quite sure how they found the plane in the first place, but that’s no matter. I created this reality, and I can destroy it. I could kill them all right now and they would never know. They could snap each other’s throats with a snap of my fingers. But I can’t lie, a God amongst gods can’t help but be curious every now and then, I suppose. I have tried to simply bring them here, yet it seems that they hold a strong resistance to it for a unique reason of their own. No matter, the clues laid before them should bring them here soon enough.

… … … … … … … …

Funny isn’t it? I have run this world for so long, yet for so short a time as well. It was my creation, as were the gods, people, animals and everything else within. Those cities wouldn’t have existed had I not thought of them. I lead to the creation of these four individuals and yet, they are so unique. Although, I suppose that’s what they were made for: to be unique. They continue with their quest and although I laid challenge after challenge before them, they always overcame it. I am the only voice to be narrating this right now, and the only point of view to experience. No one has ever become this powerful before. Not by starting at square one and working their way up fairly and step by step at least. No one has made it to this challenge. These creations have felled gods. I suppose it’s time for them to know the truth… and to meet the one true God of them all.

They’ll be here soon…

Oh, the waiting, I forgot how boring it can be…

…

I might as well unravel some more of this fabric of reality whilst I wait. Maybe the Northern Scefran Mountains? Sure. Casualties will be precisely 123,092, while another 304,896 will be injured, and let’s see… 21,003 left over to realize their life has been ruined. Let’s begin…

And it’s done! Wow, I am always surprised at how efficient I can be. Wait a second. I don’t like the number of casualties. Might as well bring an entire village back to life. That’ll be 12,763 people. And…. done. Perfect!

Hm, waiting things out is getting boring. Wait! I know! I’ll just fast forward the time around this place so that the party arrives here sooner! Let’s see, how to manipulate the fabric of all reality to do it… Ah, yes, that string right there. Just pull it a bit and… perfect!

The party suddenly arrives at a large castle, the drawbridge down and a glorious courtyard decorated with frozen fountains and other majestic beauties of nature rests within. Eager to find the origins of the chaos, the party quickly rushes inside.

Oh! They’re here! That was fast! I may as well greet them, after all what kind of host/all knowing God of all of creation and everything that ever will or could be would I be if I didn’t?

The party looks around and suddenly notices a simply dressed figure with a blue cloak fastened around its throat walking towards them, holding a tray of tea cups and a kettle. The figure’s hood is up, and the face unable to be seen. An eerily familiar voice comes from the hood.

“Hello there. Welcome to the Abode of the Ancient. How are each of you? I’m sorry to admit this so quickly, but I am a huge fan of all of you.” My voice says, coming out of my mouth and out of the hood for all to hear. Maleo is the first to speak. I expected as much.

“Who are you? We are loo-” He begins.

“I am the All-Knowing, and you are looking for the source of the unraveling of all of reality.” I answer and finish for him. “I’m aware.” It’s Ellingal who speaks up next.

“Well, then All-Knowing, I don’t know if you really know anything, however, if you do, then what’s the source of this mess? We have a job to do and the whole of reality to save.” Her fierce attitude can only make me chuckle.

“I’m afraid that I do know the exact figure you’re asking for. He happens to be around these parts. I’m told he’s the only actual creature able to move on this demiplane, and that he is quite good at making tea.” I look at them all from the cover of the hood and then wave my hand. The tea pot I brought lifts as suddenly steam begins to spout from it. Each of the cups moves under the pot and is filled to the appropriate height within the cup. The tea smells quite phenomenal. “That’s a mint-oolong by the way, it should refresh you and help your wounds.” I smile, yet quickly realize that they can’t see my face.

“Wait. I’m sorry. Did you just confess to being responsible for the single-handed destruction of reality?” Ko’fek asks, their voice as inquisitive as ever.

“Well, of course, although, I must say, only going piece by piece almost got too boring. It’s a good thing you got here when you did. Can I just say how nice it is to meet you?” I say, carefully sipping my tea.

“You confess to your crimes? And you don’t seek repentance?” Maleo stands, his blade now drawn and an anger to his face.

“Honey sit down, you’re tea may get cold.” I say, trying to get the half-elven figure to move.

“I asked you two questions. Do you confess to your crimes and do you not seek-” His voice was growing louder.

“Yes, and no. Now sit.” His face is now quite upset. He begins to rush at me, and as he swings his blade down… it vanishes as I snap. Then it appears in my hand. “Hmm. Now, now, is that anyway to treat your host? Although I must say, I completely forgot about this Holy Avenger I placed into the stache of the Terrasque you killed. Well here, take this instead. I grasp it tighter and think of a much nicer weapon than this. Then it flares with magical flame and transforms into a much longer, yet just as well balanced and weight based as it was previously.

“Much better! See?” I throw it into the air and it vanishes, reappearing in the new scabbard on Maleo’s back. “I assure you that I am most certainly benevolent.”

Maleo looks astounded and confused as he still stands before me. “You will fall. I have a weapon that can kill any god you-”

“Um, no. Watch your attitude.” I see the small contraption that the party ‘found’ in an ancient temple. One that can kill, and has killed, gods. I let it appear in my hand, and then with a pinch of the forefinger and thumb, shatter the contraption. “I built that you know.”

The entire party now is just sitting dumbfounded. Davidon grasps his holy symbol. “Melora I ask for your help, please!” As the symbol begins to glow I can not help but feel exasperated.

“No, no. I just wanted to say hello! You understand, don’t you? This is my reality, my world.” I snap my fingers as the divine energy grows stronger. Suddenly a small scream echoes throughout the minds of everyone present. “There. I just erased Melora from existence. No more divine magic, that is, all magic, for you.”

I have never seen the party so confused and mildly terrified. Huh. I wonder why. Ellingal speaks up again, now with more confidence. “I don’t believe we can allow you to live. I feel that if you could just kill us with a snap, you’d have done it by now, so we at least have a chance. I can promise that we’ll do our best!”

She’s right. A rarity, but when she is, she’s always dead on. Well done to her. Although at the sound of my death, I can’t help but to now full on laugh. “O-Oh my. Oh my-. That is hilarious. Listen, I know you really want to kill me, but I must inform you: If I die, this entire world ends. I created it all honey. Talking may be your best bet.”

All of them look at me with yet another face of surprise, although now all of them are drinking their tea again. “Hm, this tea is a tad cold.” Maleo says.

“I warned you.” I remind him. “Now then, if we’re being honest, it was lovely seeing you again. Well, for the first time in person, but I’ve certainly been watching. You’ll find that if you all go straight back to the Prime Material Plane, all will be as it was. Although you must never tell anyone of our small discussion. If you do, well, I’ll know, and the world may dive into chaos. So don’t do that. Anyway, toodles!” I let them gain all of their spell components as they prepare for their Gate spell.

The party steps through the Gate, their feet touching soft sand along a beach as they step out and back onto the Prime Material Plane. Around them, nothing is strange. They travel around for a while, looking around and inquiring about certain things. By the end of the week they all come to the same conclusion. The creature in the demiplane didn’t lie. Whatever it was, whatever it claimed to be, everything was just as it was.

Fin.

[twistednuns]

June 2018

Travelling makes me happy. Makes me feel like a more interesting person, makes my life feel much richer. I'm thankful for every opportunity I get to see the world. My time in Bali was fantastic. I carried around four books all the time and yet I only managed to read about 100 pages. There was just so much to do and see.

The word Geräuschkulisse

Roasting peaches on top of halloumi slices with a dash of honey and apple cider vinegar. Mmmh.

"Whether it’s meditation, reading, or trekking through Timbuktu, you must find something that gives you a happiness that is not contingent on others." One or two people about the importance of being alone.

Shopping at the market early on Saturday morning. The charming dude who sold me strawberries, mangoes and an avocado. Empty aisles at the drugstore. Carrying everything home in my huge trekking backpack, almost losing balance on the bike.

The rust-coloured &otherstories dress with tortoise shell buttons. Such a dream, alas, too small. Had to send it back. Sigh.

Going to Im Grünen Festival near the Austrian border with Markus. Stopping at Chiemsee for a swim. The band Leoniden covering the old Sugababes song Overload (got stuck in my head immediately). Realising that it keeps getting harder for me to be in bad company. The more I like myself the less I like others.

Veganz Choc Bar Coconut. Even more addictive than the dm bio coconut bars and the Rapunzel ones. Delicious.

Spending an evening with Franzi at the new rooftop beergarden. It's on top of a parking garage near Stachus!

Alessandro's HAND!SPA hand cream which comes in a little yellow macaron box and smells like lemon buttermilk.

I finally caved in and bought a SodaStream Crystal. Bye bye, bottled water and plastic waste! EDIT: I also got a high speed blender. Hello, nicecream!

Getting to know my new neighbour Silvie.

Making pink and yellow slime with the sixth-graders.

Learning about how brazil nuts grow. They're huddled against each other in a big shell! Weird. I never knew.

Reading Linnéas Jahrbuch, an old Swedish children's book favourite of mine. I love Lena Anderson's illustrations.

Thoughts about the monstera hype.

A small girl said goodbye to her friend one morning on the subway: "Dann noch ein schönes Leben!"

Such a busy Saturday. Getting all my affairs in order in the morning, writing long to-do-lists. Going grocery shopping, buying plants at Ries. Visiting Sabine, working on our song for the choir. Getting a message from Manu: his parents have a sales booth at the Africa festival in Munich and he doesn't wanna go alone. Going home, baking a cake, hurrying to the subway, meeting up with him and his mum. She got us in for free and I had such a nice evening there. Eating, drinking, walking around, talking to the parents, some friends, buying a ring, chili oil and lemon/orange pepper. Discussing art with his dad. Joking around with his mum. I felt very comfortable in that warm and familial atmosphere. Also, everyone kept thinking we were a couple. Mh.

Hanging out at Maria Einsiedel on a Sunday afternoon. Reading. Only jumping into the Eiskanal once. Very refreshing. I like that feeling as if thounsands of tiny needles were pricking your skin, just a little bit.

Climbing. Up the monkey bars, the wall in the boulder room, over the fence. It's nice to feel strong and capable, earn that sense of accomplishment, to feel your muscles working.

Solving two anagrams after staring at those words for almost two hours.

Feeling like wonderwoman. I don't know what happened but since the beginning of 2018 I've been feeling like a completely different person. I'm much happier, I have more energy. I enjoy getting things done and going the extra mile - often quite literally when I simply walk to the next bus stop instead of waiting, or when I start cleaning or doing things that are not absolutely necessary. I'm starting to feel like myself. To come closer to my true sense of being. It took me ten years longer than I thought it would but I guess I needed to take the long route.

I made sweet potato toast for the first time. A great savoury breakfast option!

Murakami's Wind-Up Bird Chronicle. The book is almost 800 pages long and I'm not quite finished but I have to say that so far I like it even more than Kafka on the Shore. All those visionary women, the shadow world - and the stories about the Soviet–Japanese border conflicts during the Second World War (submarines, sitting in wells, shooting zoo animals, being skinned alive) creep the shit out of me. I also love the focus on neat clothing in that book.

Safiya Nygaard is a good/weird person. Seriously. All those pop-culture references. Thank you, sister.

Playing around with the Bitmoji app (and the fact that mine looks a bit like Rachel Weisz).

Terrazzo tiles.

Booking my flights to Australia and Indonesia! I'm so excited. I've never travelled alone for more than a few days and now I'm going to be away for almost a month. I'm gonna spend almost 27 hours on planes on my way to Brisbane. What an adventure.

Ulli Lust's graphic novels.

My new yoga class. I'm going to be there every Wednesday, cursing myself and my decision to commit to this. It's exhausting and weird but so good for me. But I've already found out that I'm able to put my feet behind my head in a backwards bend. Way to go.

Learning how to use a potter's wheel. I didn't do too well because you need to stick to rules (something I'm bad at - at least when it comes to art) but turning and shaping the semi-hard pots afterwards is so much fun; exactly my thing. I need to practise, it's awesome to see a vase growing between your hands.

Miranda July's The First Bad Man at Kammerspiele Munich. This is the most hilarious and entertaining production I've ever seen in a theatre, I suppose. Anna Drexler reminds me of Birgit Minichmayr and has a lot of comedic talent. And Brandy Butler, geez, that voice. You could see quite clearly that someone had a lot of fun putting this play together.

Love in Translation

"If I'm not the love of your life I'll be the greatest loss instead." - Rupi Kaur (and the first part of her poetry collection The Sun and Her Flowers - I thought her poems about losing love were very relatable)

Meeting the bees! I designed honey jar labels last year and now I got to know the industrious little workers behind our product. We harvested and pressed the honey - I even petted the bees, they are so soft. I had a pretty nice day. And I love crushing honeycombs with my bare hands. Good texture and a very satisfying feeling.

Going dancing for the first time in... a very long time. I met up with Frank and Claudia at Import Export, took a picture of the fake Pommesbude and had actually quite a lot of fun doing silly moves, talking to Frank. It was weird because we kept saying the same thing at pretty much the same time. So that means we're still the same kind of lame/awesome?