#like he knows the gist

[teethpaste]

It’s so weird how the body will try and protect you like. I am incapable of feeling grief right now. I know it will hit me like a fucking Mac truck in about a month

When I was here in Ireland in July thinking my grandma had days to live, because the doctors told us so, and urged everyone stateside to drop what they were doing and come to Ireland for goodbyes, I was torn up. I was the first one here because I was already in Dublin on business and luckily my job just let me work from Ireland for about 2 months. So that happened. But then she got palliative chemo, and somehow here she is, 5 months later, against the odds in stage 4 lung cancer. I can tell she is so tired. I feel like she was holding on for this holiday and that as soon as I leave Ireland come December 29, it’s going to happen quickly. Which I hate to even write into existence, but sometimes, you just feel it.

And I hope it doesn’t. But I also don’t want her to be in pain. Chemo ravages the body. Her last treatment was over a month ago but the cancer has spread through her whole body and it is wearing her down. She went from still bartending at 77 and going out with her friends weekly + walking the 2 mile trek into town everyday, to finding out she a tumor overtaking her right lung (completely collapsed at this point) from years of smoking. I was sitting with her at the table the other night before I went to the pub, painting her nails, and she asked “can we talk about something morbid”

Things hardly feel morbid these days. So I tell her yes, of course. I feel like I have this desensitized view around death now. Or I’m numb to it. Like my body remembers watching my dad die and is like HEY ITS FINE, don’t be sad in the moment. Because you can’t be. You have things to do. Then you can cave in on yourself.

Anyways, when I told her sure we can, she then got embarasssd and I had to beg a little for her to tell me . She then says “right. Because I know you’ll have the energy to handle”. She just tells me how she wants to be presented for her wake. No makeup, but make sure her eyebrows are done. Hair with a bandana. Jean shirt. Nails painted. Cowboy boots on that she never got to wear in Vegas this year. She starts telling me about where jewelry is and what she wants in a service. I listen and file it away.

I still think I’m stuck on “because you’ll have the energy to handle”. I think about when my dad died, my mom and sister were inconsolable. About how it happened so quickly and we as humans make it very complicated. Do you know how hard it is to transfer a body across state lines? The hospital doesn’t tell you what to do. I had to google so many funeral homes that morning. I think about those people too. The sanitized nature of conversations. The first place I called didnt say any niceties. They immediately went to prices so I hung up. Second place was more of the same and the third place asked me how I was doing and if I wanted to share anything about him. So I went with them. My dad didn’t leave a will so I had to pull the trigger on weather to cremate or bury. I went with the former and was sick for months thinking I made the wrong choice but one day a few months ago my mom found a random letter he wrote, tossed behind his living room chair, where he noted cremation was a better option bc of the $ and finally that guilt left me.

Did you know that when you list you’re an organ donor on your license, they have to call the family? And when they call, there is light elevator music playing in the background, and mere hours after your person dies, a woman with a nasally voice will calmly ask, “May we take his skin and eyes?” I felt like I was in a cronenberg movie. I remember being so shocked at the matter of factness of the question. Being disturbed but thankful neither my mom or sister were doing this part. I remember saying “why would you want that, do you know how he died? How are those parts even usable” and she paused . And “hmm’d” and as she began to speak I said “no we won’t be donating”.

Anyways. I’m trying to be present while I’m here in Ireland for the holidays. I want to cry but I can’t. This is the last time Christmas will feel like Christmas. I’ve never much liked the holiday. But after my dad died I’ve hated thanksgiving and Christmas even more. Being with my grandma here in Ireland makes it feel like that “magic” is still there a little. But I know it will be completely gone by this time next year and I hate that.

I also worry bout my mom and how she’s taking it. She lost her dad in 2023, her husband in 2024 and now her mom’s dying. That’s how it goes I guess. I stayed in tonight but she went out to the pubs with her friends and came home absolutely trashed. She made it up the stairs before I heard her start violently vomiting. It’s always strange when you switch places with your folks. I took off her clothes and got her changed into Pjs. Brought her water and crackers. She laid with her head in my lap as I stared at the wall. Being around this kind of stuff always makes me wonder if I’ll regret not having kids. Like the fact that when I’m her age, and my grandmas age, I’ll effectively be alone. Like yes there are friends etc but I won’t have children or grand children. Just makes me feel weird.

Anyways now it’s 6 in the morning and I’m going on a run in the 22 degree morning air. Bye bye.

[theartintrying]

jayvik dune au?

[klamaric]

PONEDJELJAK, 12:48

[corallapis]

hello. did you know these are the only times the doctor ever called him “master” to his face without prompting. in the whole entire show

[cassielsunstone]

This is what he gets for eating part of the stone

[snarkspawn]

may I offer you more soft kenbig in these trying times

[screechingcheesecakecheesecake]

I think something that comes across Nakamura's works (I only read JrSihHc lol) is like highlighting how a mundane life spent with the right person bring's colors to ones' life.

Like, these characters don't really pull "I will quit my job for you!" etc etc and things like that. Usagi escapes his deadlines but still does his work and he DOES like his job too. Hiroki already warned Nowaki several times to not compromise on his job for their relationship especially since Nowaki is a pediatrician (I forgot if he's only an intern or already one).

Heck, SiH's whole premise is also work. Even Isaka despite being a menace in other's POV, is so busy that he rarely can spare time having a date.

However, because of that, they end up appreciating small things. Housework for Misaki is something natural to him, but when he cooks with Usagi, he enjoys it. Usagi keeps insisting eating dinner together even in a tough crunch time. (Heck, he literally wrote a children's book about Misaki's cooking)

Yukina enjoys cooking for Kisa and welcoming him home. Despite all his complaints, Hatori does all housework for Yoshino. Yokozawa's time with the Kirishimas. Things they usually do alone became special because they're doing it with the person special to them.

(Cue I don't really say "love" because love can also be painful and is pretty much the common theme for majority of JR couples is a failed first love then another love that truly makes them happy.)

So yeah, despite like almost all the casts being workaholics, their mundane life with their partners makes it livelier and in essence it's their quality time together. I just really enjoy that kind of theme of a mundane life being special because it's with someone you love.

[lazzarella]

Aou and Boom both* doubting themselves when they were incredible (as usual) is so crazy, but also highly relatable, to me 😭

*that's the gist I get, anyway, from New's caption + Aou & Boom's replies? Despite, you know, having to rely on Twitter's translation haha

Edited to add: seems like it was just Boom from the behind the scenes and New and Aou were both trying to comfort him. I think Aou's tweet might be that he was talking about Boom, rather than himself, but it wasn't translated correctly

[guabie]

Yk I haven’t really seen anyone discuss caitlyn’s relationships with the men in her life and I feel like they’re just as important to her character as her relationships with the women in her life

Men like her father, Jayce, Marcus etc.

There’s not many men in her life but the few that are involved impact her in such an interesting way

[jasontoddsno1simp]

I'm going be honest with you, friends -

I'm not interested in a Jason Todd that's right, but rather a Jason Todd that's righteous.

[starry-bi-sky]

i have been unmedicated for the entirety of spring break and thus have had little interest in writing this down, but i have been thinking about this for the entire week (as well as a dpdc clone danny au that resulted in it becoming its entirely separate batman au that includes a teenage vigilante bruce wayne, an ocarina, and me entirely incapable of making a batman au without making bruce dirt poor but we're not talking about that) and so i've finally went 'fuck it' and forcibly grabbed my laptop. I will get this done in one sitting even if it kills me.

BUT. This is about neither clone^2 danny nor about who i am calling Ocarina Batman. This is about my Danyal Al Ghul Au and more SPECIFICALLY it's me thinking about his relationship with Sam and Tucker specifically.

Tucker and Sam? Adore this asshole (affectionate) with every fiber of their being. And it is very much a reciprocated feeling, but Danny's thoughts will not be delved into much other than he would kill for them.

Tucker? The only person currently capable of getting a deep, loud, belly laugh out of Danny. Sam can get him to smile and to laugh, but it's the kind that's a chuckle-under-the-breath. The quiet, looks-down-while-huffing laughter. Snorts once with laughter and then grins stupidly.

But Tucker? Tucker can crack a slew of stupid jokes and Danny will be incapacitated for the next five minutes because he's laughing so hard that he can't breath. He lands one well-timed pun or quip and Danny will be close to tears. His laughter is their favorite sound in the whole world.

Sam is lowkey jealous of this ability, and she's gotten a belly laugh out of Danny a few times. But alas, it is Tucker who wields this power and has gotten it the most times out of the two of them.

-

They're also both physically affectionate with Danny as much as possible. It started roughly around when they were 12-ish, a year since they befriended Danny, and they noticed that he sought after touch but never seemed to initiate (and was in some ways repulsed by it). They started slowly being more touchy with him. Hooking a finger around his to lead him somewhere, tapping his wrist, looping arms. Little touches, grabs, etc, to get him used to it, and once he started doing it back they started increasing it.

It's gotten to a point where he will now just. Lay on them. Like a lizard sunbathing on a rock. Leaning on their backs when they're sitting in class before the bell rings, his chin on their heads. He'll talk about anything with his arms looped around their shoulders.

If they're sitting on a couch at either of their houses, he'll lay his legs on theirs. Him and Tucker will press their feet against the other's and try and push against them (newsflash: Danny always wins, Tucker claims its the ghost strength but Danny's been winning since before his accident)

-

Naturally, both Sam and Tucker know where Danny keeps his weapons on his person, and are allowed to grab them off of him if they need it. His only requirement is that they don't lose his weapons if they take it and forget to return it immediately.

They both understand how big of a thing this is from Danny, and so they do their best to treat his weapons with a lot of respect and care because they know its his way of saying he trusts them.

-

Sam and Tucker are so fond of Danny it's insane. Like fr. That's their goddamn best friend, and they are so protective of him. Emotionally, physically, you name it. They will tear the head off a grown man if they need to, Danny's had scars since he arrived in Amity Park and Sam and Tucker both are going to find the person who put them there and make them pay for it.

One time, Tucker overheard a bunch of upperclass girls speaking nastily about Danny and about the rumors surrounding him, calling him names like 'freak', 'monster', etc. Danny was with him and heard it, and seemingly appeared unbothered by it, even telling Tucker that he was used to such rumors.

Tucker was so furious that hacked into the school system later that night and tanked those girls grades. They were kicked out of their clubs and had to go to mandatory tutoring for the rest of the year. He made sure to leave some way of letting them know it was him who did it.

And Sam doesn't like using her money for things, doesn't like abusing that wealth. So instead, whenever her parents talk bad about Danny, she causes a media incident that has her parents scrambling to deal with. She does something wild, outrageous by her parents' standards.

She heard some boys on the basketball team making fun of Danny once, similar to those girls had. She kicks up a fuss about something eco-unfriendly at school and forcibly holds a protest on the same day of the big home basketball game, forcing them to cancel the event and reschedule to a visiting school.

She anonymously donates money so that there's new uniforms for the team but oops! Looks like she "forgot" to donate enough money for them to get uniforms for all the team members, and strangely enough those boys in particular didn't get them! Looks like they'll have to wait until more money gets donated for the basketball team to get their new, nice uniforms. The old ones look so ratty in comparison, right?

And since the football team gets most of the sport money, that might just take awhile. And if (and when) they kick up a fuss? oops! Off the basketball team you go, :) such unsportsman-like behavior is unfit for the team.

(The only good thing about how corrupt the school system is is that she can use it to her advantage too.)

The both of them know that Danny suspects them for the sudden misfortune falling on these people, but he doesn't call them out on it. He's kinder than he used to be, but not kind enough to vouch for people who speak badly of him. Sometimes, he might just congratulate them on not getting caught.

Because Danny is their wonderful, hurt friend with a "slightly" Blue and Orange Moral code, and enough scars that people have been calling him a criminal (and worse) since he arrived in Amity Park when he was ten. And they'll be damned if he gets hurt anymore.

[andromeda3116]

planning to make a move tonight with this guy and deeply terrified even though i know he's interested, he's made it very clear that he's interested but putting the ball in my court to decide what, if anything, i want and i've made up my mind to pursue this but like. i've been single since the obama administration because there's not, like, a person-shaped hole in my life, i don't need to be with someone to feel whole, and i have to make room in my life for another person and idk how to do this and i hate feeling vulnerable or exposed or out of control and giving someone else the power to hurt me and having to just. trust that they won't. but i kind of... accidentally already gave him that power without realizing it. i kind of... feel like this is just acknowledging something that's already started.

i am. so nervous.

like, a little giddy, a little eager, a lot anxious for no reason other than how terrified i am of major changes even when i feel like they're good ones and. and. and.

[ashton-slashton]

So a while back I watched the workprint for Hellraiser IV because like... it's so godawful, how could I not? And like. None of the sfx are really in the workprint since it's just the bare bones of the film, so that includes the weird voice deepening they do to Doug Bradley as Pinhead.

So now all I can think of is like... Pinhead breaking character when dealing with a particularly unsatisfying victim. "THE BOX. YOU OPENED IT, WE CAME. NOW YOU MUST EXPERIENCE THE ECSTASY OF PAIN AND SUFF- hold on a tic. No, hold on. You mean you've never even done a little S&M and you're jumping straight to summoning demons for sexual gratification? God almighty, what a fucking bellend... bleeding hell..."

[juuria]

ngl i crode twice today

[luvbloggingandreblogging]

Something About Jason Todd In The Future I Guess

Jason Todd, in the eyes of the world at large, is a mildly successful author who lives on his father’s trust fund. He is in the minority of his siblings to have a college degree, and he was missing for a significant period of time, presumed dead. He is 28 years old, and he spends his nights grappling from rooftops as part of a flock of colorfully dressed birds, striking fear into their lawless, beautiful city.

He is the Red Hood. He protects the parts of the city many glance over.

He is the only bird in this flock with fresh blood on its talons.

Two of his younger siblings are birds of prey who have learned to eat nuts and seeds. He is a songbird who has learned to hunt.

He does not do so carelessly.

It has taken him the better part of a decade, but he has learned the ways he is different to his siblings. To his father.

For them, killing would be easy.

For him, it is never easy.

He feels the blood of each body on his hands. He knows the story behind each one. This does not paralyze him, as it would his older brother, or deaden him, as it would his younger brothers.

Each person he kills has a life. Each bloody body tells a story.

He was one of those stories, once, after all. 

But every person he saves has a life, too. And every story has to end sometime. 

The Red Hood kills. It is a tool, one of many in his arsenal. Once, it might have been his tool of choice, but he knows better, now.

This flock knows better than anyone, after all, that there are worse things than death.

[dailykugisaki]

Day 275 | id in alt

Kept repeating "this food is so fucking good lois." While making this on accident. Am I cooked chat?