#like he’s DONE crimes obviously but not in a. it’s his lifestyle way. i guess?

[dashiellqvverty]

my opinion on season 11 is that ian and mickey were all over the place from episode to episode and i ultimately wasn’t very happy with where it ended for them

[brandnewhuman]

Okay so - my request is basically the reader is a child whose family was murdered and I just want the slayers to adopt the child, human pet

NO pedophilia if anyone's wondering that's gross and you should leave 😍😍😍

SLASHER TAKING CARE

OF A CHILD READER

CONTENT:

Rz! Michael Myers - Jason Voorhees - Bo, Lester and Vincent Sinclair - Asa Emory -

Tw: canon violence, mentions of cannibalism, murder,blood, probably mention of child abuse or neglecting (not from the slashers), reader is a kid so obviously this is a strictly father figure relationship,

A/N: hiya!! As always thank you for leaving a request^^. This is such a cute idea♡♡ I actually think most of the slasher could've been super nice fathers if they didn't you know, chose crime as a lifestyle. Baby reader is going to grow up unhinged as them but at least it will be fun. AS THIS LOVELY PERSON SAID, THIS IS STRICTLY PLATONIC. IF YOU TRY TO BE GROSS AND/OR REQUEST ME ANYTHING THAT INVOLVES A MATURE RELATIONSHIP WITH AN UNDERAGE READER I WILL FUCKING BLOCK YOU.

MICHAEL MYERS:

Funnily enough he wasn't the one who killed your parents. Haddonfield is that wild even when it's not Michael making it wild 

Now, you're like literally a child so obviously all you were able to do was just hiding while the intruder in your house killed your parents 

You're going to grow so messed up I'm so so sorry-

Your family wasn't like super liked by other people in haddonfield and your parents tended to piss off everyone that interacted with them 

Your neighbours are used to your parents arguing ecc so they don't really think something bad has happened 

So no one realise you're alone in the house with your dead parents bodies

And you're, again, just a child so you don't really know what the fuck are you supposed to do

Yeah you have a pretty shitty childhood, I'm sorry. 

But fear not cause the boogeyman has come to save you

He broke into the house thinking he was going to find someone to kill and the disappointment was real and intense when he saw someone has already done the job

He decided to just go to the kitchen and try to find something to eat since no one was there to stop him

To be fucking honest the whole house reminded him a lot of his own and that was starting to creep him out

When he saw you in the kitchen he went stiff 

Connecting the dots he assumed you were the couple's child 

Michael Myers doesn't kill kids and we all know that. 

I headcanon it's because kids haven't done anything to anyone yet, they're too young to be bad. He takes his anger on adults and teenagers cause that's the age group of people who has let him down most of the time

You remind him of Boo so much and you kind of remind him of himself too 

When you saw him you told him that you're parents were sleeping so if he was a friend of them he needed to wait

That if he wanted to you could keep him company while he waited

You obviously didn't know what happen or you were just coping with death as your child brain was able to 

He should've guess that cause he did saw a blanket on the bodies 

That, the fact that you remind him of boo, the house remind him of his childhood and overall all of the shitty things were enough for him to want to keep you

Congrats, now the shape of haddonfield is your dad 

He's gonna get rid of the bodies of your parents without you noticing so you both can live there 

One could think he's going to be distant at first or either way it would be hard for him to like get used to you

WRONG. 

He feels like he just went back in time to when he still was able to hold his little sister. 

He knows that you probably feel really scared and confused right now so he tries to reassure you and make you feel safe as much as possible 

You're the only person to who he will show so much affection 

He never loses sight of you and if you go outside he's always watching you and keeping an eye on anything or anyone that could hurt you

The Boo title has been passed to you now. 

Even if you remind him of laurie, the boo nickname has a special place for him and it's give only to the ones he loves 

You're hid boo now but for a different kind of reason laurie was 

It's the kind of dad that says you have to sleep alone but then lets you sleep next to him anyways 

He absolutely loves playing with you and spending time doing things like drawings and masks ecc

Speaking of, he doesn't wear a mask when he's around you

Allows you to play with his hair 

He makes sure you're getting all your meals so he either steals food from the grocery store or steals from the victims

He really tries so hard to earn your love and to be a somewhat good parent figure 

He doesn't want you to stay just because you're scared, he wants you to feel like you're not alone and you have someone to protect you

He has instructed you to say his your uncle so you can keep going to school and everything without people being suspicious about a giant man following you around

Again, people believes the lie cause your parents weren't that great so they all think they just have left you or some shit 

Anything you bring him from school he's keeping it like it's the most important thing ever

He eventually learns how to cook dw

He loves any nickname you give him. His favourite being Mike but if call him uncle mickey he's gonna melt on the floor

You're such a positive presence in his life. He tries to take more care of himself because he knows you need him 

He hopes that when you'll be older you won't hate him when you find out who he really is

That would break his heart like literally 

And he tries his best to not let you become like him. He could never forgive himself if you 

JASON VOORHEES:

I want jason to be my dad

He would be the best dad in the world

As soon as he saw you he was like "OH NO YOU SHOULDN'T BE HERE" 

the fact that you were not scared of him? 10/10

The moment you looked at him smiling and asking him if he wanted to play with you because you didn't know where your parents were he knew he was taking you home with him

He made you wait somewhere safe where you wouldn't be able to see what was going to happen 

Awkward moment for the future when he will have to tell you he killed your parents

He had to, besides in his head he justifies the whole thing by saying that if they were really good parents they wouldn't have brought you here and left you alone

Jason would be absolutely adores you and Pamela does to

His whole attention is always on you. Like he could never get tired of spending time together or listen to anything you want to tell him

He is going to childproof the cabin and will make sure that you never go outside without him next to you

HE IS SUCH A MOTHER HEN 

you can't even like trip over something that he's already fussing over you as if you're about to die

And when he sees you giggling at his concern he just shakes his head as if he was scolding you "Don't laugh y/n!! This is a serious matter right here!! You could've lost your leg!" 

Him doing that only makes you laugh more and he can't really get mad at you so he just tickles you as a punishment for making him worry

Someone said cuddles? Cause Jason is sure someone has said it

Seriously, you don't even have to give him a reason to get a hug from him. As soon as you reach your tiny arms to him he's already picking you up and holding you close 

Jason doesn't really need to be strict or serious to make you listen. Like he has such a gentle and effective parenting style 

He treats you like Pam used to treat him

The first time you called him dad he could've sworn he was about to die. 

You woke up from a nightmare and went straight to Jason's room crying

He was immediately awake and going towards you thinking you were hurt of something 

You weren't calling him Jason but papa and if he hadn't been so worried he would've cry from happiness 

The next day he thought you called him papa by accident so he didn't really expect for you to keep calling him that all the time

Every time you do he just picks you up and gives you lots of smooches all over the face 

He knows you're eventually going to find the truth about what he has done and he still does but he hopes that maybe by then he had convinced you how much he actually cares for you and how important you are for him

SINCLAIR BROTHERS:

As I stated on one of my last post I like the idea of Bo having the temper of an unhinged gremlin but I do not find it actually makes sense 

That being said 

Bo has never NEVER had a doubt that he was going to save you when you and your parents ended up in ambrose 

truth be told, if he knew you were there he would've let your parents go. Not even Lester noticed you

He didn't notice you were there until it was too late.

Your parents told you to stay in the car while they looked for Bo. You fell asleep waiting and when you woke up you were bore out of your mind so you decided to just take a walk around since it was a fairly small town

You got distracted looking around the house of wax

Vincent was the one that found you

When you saw him you just waved at him smiling brightly as you introduced yourself and promising that you didn't touch anything and you were just waiting for your parents to be back

"Mum and dad were looking for someone to help them with the fun..fen.. mmmh uh! Yes, the fan belt!!" 

Achievement unlocked: obliterate Vinny's will to live 

God if he felt like a monster now 

He kept you company and played with you while thinking how the fuck he was going to fix this mess

He sure wasn't going to kill you. At cost of making Bo mad he was not going to turn you into wax

You were the sweetest kid ever. Complimenting him for his hair, his masks and once you figured out for his art

When it started to get late in picked you up and went to look out for Bo with you

When Bo saw you he immediately knew what was going on

Both brothers agreed to not harm you in anyway and that meant not telling you about your parents too

Bo had to tell muster the courage and put on use his ability to lie to make up the most believable excuse he could find

He told you that he found out your parents were distant family they didn't knew about, that they had received a urgent call for something really important and had asked him and Vincent to take care of you until they come back

fortunately for him, as soon as he said he was family, you gave him your blind trust and believed everything he had said

So now you stayed with them

When victims are coming into town you stay with your "uncle" Lester out of ambrose. You spend those days playing board games with him, playing with jonesy and eating way too many sweets for vinny and bo's liking

Those are your favourite days and obv Lester is kind of your fav uncle 

Bo never said it openly but he was just over the moon with you. 

He doesn't like to play board games but loves to spend his free time playing hide and seek, tag and other games like this

He always lets you win but without making it too obvious 

He loves cooking with you and you're the only one he allows to listen him sing (see my post about bo singing) only because it makes you super happy 

He would be the one giving you rules and making sure you follow them cause he knows that if he doesn't his brothers are going to basically ruin you

That's the only reason he's not your fav uncle 

He's nothing like his parents and when he has to correct your behaviour his surprisingly patient 

He knows that sometimes you can be overwhelmed by big emotions and that is hard to behave even when you really want to so he's gonna do the best he can to tell call you out when you're not being good in a nice a respectful way

Even though at the end of the day he's going to spoil you rotten too cause he still feels guilty about knowing the truth of what he has done. Your parents weren't even that bad 

Vinny is going to encourage your creative side in any way possible. He genuinely has so much fun doing crafts with you 

Everything you do is going to be put where everyone can see it in the house of wax, that's how proud he is of your work

He makes sure you don't go down his workshop when there's someone that needs to be turned into wax. And when there's no one he childproof everything so you can spend time with him doing anything you together 

I'm sorry but Bo would put you in a child leash- 

HE JUST DOESN'T WANT YOU TO GO RUNNING AROUND AND RISKING TO HURT YOURSELF

All of them are super protective of you and do the best to give you education and cover all your basic needs

Everytime you mention your parents all of them avoid your gaze and just straight up change the subject of conversation 

When you'll eventually find out it's gonna be heartbreaking so they just enjoy spending time with you while they can 

ASA EMORY:

I feel the need to remind you to never, under any circumstances, give this man a child. Please, just- don't. 

Now let's give him the responsibility of raising us, shall we? ♡

I know I KNOW that he was about to kill the kid in the first movie but I CAN FIX HIM. I CAN MAKE A FATHER OUT OF HIM

Initially I wanted to do Thomas but I just like to make my life harder than what it should be 

So Asa as a dad (you see what I did there right?) 

You were probably the kid of one of the families he targeted. 

Listen, I'm going to self insert here cause I want to have a father that is actually there too 

He first saw you while doing his fake "disinfestation" job at your parents house 

Your parents were that type of parents who wouldn't even notice if their kid was there or not because they were always too busy with so many things. 

You know they loved you it was just that they had to work and stuff 

So you ended up being that type of kid who's always alone, has to always find a way to entertain themselves and overall grows up really fast and by themselves because no one is there to help them

While Asa was working you kept looking at him, curious about what he was doing but too shy to actually go and talk to him cause you didn't want to bother him

Admittedly you were kinda sad that he had to kill all the bugs. Not because you liked having them around but because you kinda felt bad for them plus they were fun to draw sometimes

He noticed you were there, not too close for the chemicals to harm you but not too far to not be able to see what was going on

He had this weird feeling looking at you. 

You were sporting glasses too big for your face, your hair was tied but not as good as it should, your clothes were clean but they had wrinkles

He's really good at reading people and the only thing he needed to confirm his suspicions of you being possibly spending too much time alone was your expresion 

You didn't seem angry but your big eyes didn't had the childish light kid's eyes should have, and your whole face was relaxed but at the same time it hold a stern look

He had the overwhelming feeling of looking at something familiar and he didn't like it one bit. 

At soon as you noticed he was looking at you, you just waved shyly at him before running away

You came back a few minutes later with some juice for him and used it as an excuse to talk to him about the bugs

"Does it hurt them?? I…I mean the spray, does it hurt? I'm…I'm kinda afraid of bugs but they're cool..I wouldn't like it if it hurt them.." 

You left the bug man speechless 

He had to paid close attention because of how fast you were talking 

You just wanted to have someone to talk with and since you didn't really had any friends you tended to talk a lot with the adults that were around you

He looked at you with confusion and surprise all over his face

"It doesn't…it's like going to sleep. I promise I would never hurt them" he didn't even knew why he was talking to you but he felt like he couldn't just straight up ignore you

You spent the whole day with him. You didn't really bother him that much cause you were actually pretty quiet and the only time you speak to him was to ask questions about bugs or to ask him if he wanted something else to drink

He did had to admit you were a really nice kid and he actually liked talking with you about bugs ecc

He even asked you to show him your drawings 

When he finds out that later that day you were going to stay with some relatives because your parents had to work he was actually relieved 

He really didn't want to kill you

That relief didn't last long because your parents decided the last minute to spend, for once, some time with you at home

He find out too late though 

He saw you on your bed sleeping when he was placing the traps 

So one thing leads to another and long story short; he has fucked up

You woke up, he didn't notice it once again (Asa you're being a fucking idiot omg), and he saw just in time before you triggered one the traps in the kitchen

Your parents are long gone and honestly he doesn't even know what to do with you

You looked at him with your eyes wide in surprise

He expected you to scream and be afraid but surprisingly you recognised him even with the mask 

You just thought that maybe he forgot something at your house, came back to get it only to find every single part of the house full with traps. That maybe, seeing that, he was trying to help your parents

You didn't question the mask too much cause you were worried about other things 

"Mr emory??? I..I heard mum scream, are you going to help her??" 

Damn EMOTIONAL DAMAGE RIGHT THERE

is the first time Asa feels so fucking bad and he's having none of it

Almost tempted to just kill you to make it stop but he does not 

He just takes you outside and tells you to wait there. Goes back inside and finishes the job faster than what he would normally and then comes back to you

He's going to be really straightforward about it and tell you that your parents are dead. He's not gonna tell you he killed them but still

Okay now onto what we all want to know. 

He has to take you with him obv. Making everyone believe you have died with your parents

When I tell you he's gonna be so mad about it cause he hates the idea of being soft

And you're kind of remind him how careless he has been with his last victims

The first few days He's going to avoid you. Being around you only when necessary like to cook you meals ecc

You're kind used to it and since he's the only person who has decided to take care of you (since you don't know that everyone thinks you're dead) you're not about to complain

He could've perfectly leave you in a foster home and you know that 

Man can't catch a fucking break cause he tries so hard to not get attached to you but seeing how you naturally adapt to being so alone, the fact that you don't don't for anything and you haven't cried or talked about your parents in front of him but hold it until you knew you were alone is killing him 

He hates it because he did the same thing as a kid, the only difference is that he didn't have anyone. No one wanted him 

When he comes to terms with the fact that he actually feels bad and he cares for you he's going to change completely 

It start with small things like eating breakfast together, asking you if you want to come with him to buy groceries ecc

He slowly starts to approach you more and more until it's comfortable for both of you

You're going to be homeschooling by him 

He starts to like play with you, talking with you more, read you books you like

He's never going to be too busy for you. If you need him he's going to drop everything to do whatever you want 

Helps you to overcome your fear of bugs 

Take you out for ice cream and a walk to the park once a week. Is like a tradition for both of you, eating ice cream and try to identify the bugs you find around the park 

He may not be the most affectionate person ever, you may never see him as a father and he is not trying to take that title but he will do everything to make you feel safe and seen

He truly shows how much he cares about you and makes an effort everyday to be the good example and healthy presence you need to grow up right 

He eventually tells you the truth when you're old enough but until then he's your best friend Asa and nothing could ever ruin that 

[guiltycorp]

Playing Genshin for a couple of weeks now and I have some thoughts about Mondstadt, its seeming prosperity, and criminal elements!! Also dunking on Diluc a little bit lol. I'm not even going to touch hilichurls, they're probably the one issue I expect the game to come back to in time! They seem to be an intelligent race that was cursed and so we might get some sad backstory and realize that we've been assholes to them, not 100% sure but hopefully. Other than hilichurls and the Fatui (and yeahhh so fun to make russians into villains, im guessing it's for attracting the american audience or something... at least the characters are interesting enough), there are also Treasure Hoarders, who in the archive are mainly described as workers who lost their jobs or some other manner of poor people who turned to looting and crime out of desperation. And yet the angle is that 'thieving is always morally wrong'. Somebody didn't read Les Mis, I guess! Another note, there seems to be a weird gameplay and story segregation where we as the Traveler do lots of looting and treasure hunting ourselves only to be commended for it. But I digress. My actual point is that interestingly enough those elements of worldbuilding come together pretty well when you look at the city itself!   In Mondstadt it is most difficult to become a small business owner, made all the more obvious when compared to Liyue's wealth of shops, services, and traveling traders (Liyue has its own baggage of problems which tbh seem more serious to me but that's another topic). It's just not the most profitable occupation! Almost everyone we see out on the streets does their own resource supply, production, and service. Naturally, this means that those people don't earn enough to hire their own workers. In turn, that means that there are no jobs to be found in those places. So, where are all the jobs? For that we have the Dawn Winery, the Knights of Favonius, and the option to leave for Springvale to become a hunter or go to a different country altogether. The winery is described as the city's most powerful industry both for local consumption and export, but how does it actually treat its workers? Well, for example there's Patton who accidentally broke a bottle of expensive wine and is now basically an indentured servant to Diluc. He says that even if he worked without any breaks he still would need 48 years to pay off his debt. We can meet his daughter near Venti's statue who has to play by herself because her father is always working. Does that really seem like freedom to you? There's also Guy's father who works at the winery itself and can't afford to rest even when he is heavily sick and old. These are the worst examples for sure but others also have their own smaller problems like Charles who confides in us that he often feels tired and only takes nights off when Diluc is in a mood to tend the bar himself etc.  It is kind of telling that we don't have the option of engaging with their problems and we can't really talk to Diluc about it either. For all that he defends the city each night, he shows no interest in defending his own workers from his business's predatory tactics. To say nothing of the great damage he does to the adult populace of the city, always supplying alcohol and tempting people with deals and sales when there are already too many drunkards even among the named characters. When the opposing tavern (which also only has Diona for a bartender even when her own father has alcohol dependence) chose to present a non-alcoholic beverage during the holiday Angel’s Share doubled down on alcohol. And it doesn't even have snacks? This one bit was probably just for joke purposes, but tbh it's pretty dangerous to drink without any snacks at all, it makes sense why people get so heavily drunk in the first place. Note that Diluc himself doesn’t drink, showing good judgment when it comes to himself. Meanwhile the only person Diluc seemingly has no problem cutting off is Kaeya and it’s not obvious whether that’s out of concern or pettiness. Nobody is cutting off Nimrod who is ruined by his addiction! Now this is probably the core reason why Nimrod turned to crime, and I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that he and his wife are dependant on Kaeya who at the very least knows to appreciate his informants. Kaeya himself is also a gleeful enabler, by the way, which makes sense considering his uh.. everything. And his upbringing at the Dawn Winery didn’t hurt, no surprise why he’s so keen on wine himself. He might be shrewd and oh so clever when it comes to getting information in taverns, but his story details and voice lines confirm that there actually is a problem even if we don’t know the full scope of it.  Now, the Knights of Favonius? Aside from being corrupt in the past they happen to hire minors (we can read that in their handbook) whom they don't even pay. What's that, free labor for the simplest of tasks? Makes sense why some of the adult knights laze about if all the work gets done by minors or the more focused and accomplished senior knights with Visions. That's a wonky structure for sure. Guy tells us that he became a squire at 16 and still has the boring job of guarding the back gates despite repeatedly showing signs of great dissatisfaction. I wouldn't be surprised if he betrays us later or something, honestly. Maybe Kaeya is preparing him for double agent work, who knows. Right now he has no opportunities for climbing the career ladder to take better care of his sick father, stuck in a pointless job for months. And that's a talented and focused young man! what about regular folk? Well. In the end, regular people have several options. They can give up and overwork themselves while spending nights looking for coins in the wishing fountain to try and scrape enough for their sister’s medicine. They can go to the Adventurers' Guild which has highly dangerous commissions with the most profitable ones taken on by Fischl and other professionals, hardly a dependant job for a regular person. There’s also Church which we know very little about. Likely it's dependant on taxes and donations and it’s the one organization that cares about the orphans of the city (no, keeping Klee in solitary doesn’t count as caring, Knights of Favonius!). There’s Springvale for hunters, farmers and chefs, a difficult lifestyle to maintain when the hunting grounds are in one of the Four Winds’ domains with strangely intelligent wolves.  And then there’s the other more accessible and obvious option! You guessed it, it’s crime!!  And there it is, the reason why there's such a big problem with bandits and overworked people in Mondstadt :)  Honestly after writing all that down, if I were to RP a normal person in Mondstadt I’d try to get into the Treasure Hoarders guild at like 5 years old I think. Better than standing around watching random people kill my pigeons anyway. Tbh this is less of a 'makes you think huh!!' take and more of a commendation towards the writers of the game. They obviously have a more conservative outlook if they're so keen on condemning the thieves who have to steal in order to survive, but the world itself makes a lot of sense. It makes the game a lot of fun to explore.

[kimburgess-ruzek]

You Have No Idea.

chapter one.

summary: Something Kim does changes her future in Intelligence forever. In ways no one can imagine. But when she is caught on the wrong side of crime, will her previous reputation and relationship with the police help her? Or are her actions so damaging that nothing or no one can save her?

t/w: mentions of sexual assault

read on ao3.

one.

*months before the prologue.*

“What do we got?”

Adam lifted the yellow tape to allow Voight to the scene. It was super early. 5:29 am. And the constant flashing lights and sirens made Adam too tired to joke around. He had to get up early to meet Rojas on the scene and take statements. He was wearing sunglasses and his hair wasn’t even done.

“Group of witnesses claim to have seen a woman kidnapped. They were outside of the bar and saw the woman and a man arguing in the alley, they thought it was nothing since it just verbal. Then a van drives by and the man pulls the girl inside and they take off.” Adam caught Voight up while they walked to where the rest of the team was.

“Did they catch a look at the plate?” Voight asked.

“No. The car was unmarked.” Kevin answered.

“The group wasn’t able to identify much of either the woman or the man. It was too dark. But they did say they were dressed for the club. The woman had on a dress. So my guess is camera footage of the club might have their faces. Jay is securing security footage from both inside and outside.” Rojas explained.

“Okay. Get back to the district and watch every second of the footage. I want to see if they were inside that club and if we can get facial rec.”

“We’re taking this Sarge? The witnesses were drunk themselves. They might not be credible. How do you know we’re just wasting time?” Hailey asked. There didn’t seem to be anything worth dragging Intelligence into. They probably could’ve handed this off to some other unit.

“We’re taking this case because I said so. This club has been on the radar for PD a while now. So go watch that footage. While you’re at it, grab the manager. Maybe he has some talking to do.”

“Copy, Sarge.” Adam walked back to his truck and sat inside there, trying to keep his eyes open. They had nonstop cases, and he hadn’t gotten much sleep in the last few weeks. The whole team hasn’t. With one member down, they had to do overtime most nights in order to be one step ahead of the bad guys.

Before he could drive off the scene, his passenger side door opened and Kevin sat down and buckled himself in without permission.

“Hey man, mind giving me a ride to the office? I rode with Jay and he’s still getting footage.”

“Nah, you got it.” Adam took off, heading back to the district. He didn’t talk much on the ride there. He just focused on not letting his eyelids close.

Kevin tried to ease the silence, “So, have you heard from her?”

Adam sighed and rubbed his forehead. “No, I haven’t. I’ve called her everyday. I’ve even dropped by her place a couple of times. She doesn’t want to be heard. Or seen.”

Kevin looked at Adam with sympathy. “Give it time. She took it hard.”

Adam answered as they pulled up to the parking lot.

“Yeah, I just don’t feel okay with it. Something doesn’t seem right.”

...

buzz, buzz. buzz, buzz.

It took everything in Kim to open her eyes. She rarely gets any sleep anymore; she is either pulling all-nighters or she is waking up sporadically at odd hours of the night. Her new lifestyle, as she would call it, isn’t the most healthy. She doesn’t have a sleep schedule, doesn’t have anything but beer in her fridge, and always wakes up hungover. But she doesn’t really care. She’ll do anything to keep going through life at this point. She takes every opportunity to rest her eyes, and she waits until the last seconds to rise out of her slumber. The light was already shining through her half closed curtains, and it took a few seconds for eyes to adjust. She yawned and stretched her arms before reaching for phone, reading the new message that she just got. However, before she could read it, she had a missed call notification. Kim sighed, she could probably guess who it was from. Nevertheless, she opened her phone and played the missed message.

*one voicemail from Adam Ruzek*

“Hey Kim. Just checking up on you. I haven’t heard from you in a while and I know you’re probably upset over everything that happened. I know I am. I miss being able to see my friend everyday at the office. Um, anyways, I just want to make sure you’re doing well. The whole team wants to make sure. Kevin won’t stop bothering me about making sure you’re doing good. I’ve tried visiting, but you must not have been home. Maybe we can meet for coffee or something. I have to go, but please. Just call me. Reach out. And know that I’m already here for you.”

Adam has called Kim everyday for two months now, ever since Kim left intelligence. And everyday, Kim would either sleep through it or she would ignore it. And everyday, Adam would leave a voicemail. Sometimes short, sometimes long. Always asking if she is okay and if she can call him back. Kim couldn’t help but laugh at how persistent Adam is. He will probably never stop calling he’s so stubborn. He’s probably just doing it out of spite now. Part of Kim wanted to pick up the phone one day and tell him to leave her alone and stop calling. To forget about her because she is not coming back. Part of her wanted to answer the call and just tell him the truth. But she knew that she couldn’t do either, because it would distract her from her new life.

...

Kim remembered the day like it was yesterday. The day that changed her life forever.

Two months ago.

The bastards that raped her sister, Nicole, were fully released. Kim dreaded that day, because she knew that she had to inform Nicole of the news. Nicole was healing to the best of her abilities. She felt okay living on her own, but every once in a while she would call Kim, scared and crying. When she heard of the news, Nicole was shocked and felt uneasy. She said that she felt unsafe and asked if Kim could stay the night with her. Kim obviously said yes, but she feared that Nicole would start to retreat to her previous ways.

Within a week of the release of the two men, two women were found in the basement of the train station with obvious signs of rape and signs of drugs in their system similar to what Nicole experienced. After hearing the news of the two women, Kim’s fear turned out to be a reality. Nicole would not leave her house, and she begged Kim to stay at her apartment during the night. Kim often times had to stay late to work on the case, so she would leave Nicole on speaker phone, being there for support and calming her down when her anxiety picked up.

A week later, two more women were found in the train station. It was enough for Intelligence to be looped in. All of the women were drugged with ketamine and raped. They couldn’t remember anything, other than they were invited to an after party after being out at bars.

Kim immediately saw similarities in this case with Nicole’s. She wanted to go a storm the two men’s apartment, but the team shot her down.

“We have no other leads,” Jay tried to reason. “There’s no evidence that it’s the two men, and there’s not enough probably cause for a warrant.”

“Are you kidding me? Of course there’s enough evidence. This is the same exact scenario we saw four years ago. The exact same. You can’t tell me this isn’t enough probably cause.” Kim replied.

“Kim, I get it, okay. I do. But we have no dna evidence, nothing useful from the women. A judge won’t sign off on a warrant. And who’s to say these aren’t just other men?” Hailey jumped in. Even though she wasn’t there when the first case went down, Hailey had heard about it when she arrived. She heard Kim’s concern about the release of the two men about a year ago. She felt for Kim, she really did; but she also understood Jay and knew it wouldn’t be enough for a warrant.

Kim let out a sigh, shaking her head. She was about to respond when Adam jumped in, trying to diffuse the situation.

“Let’s just try to find some evidence. Let’s pull pod footage and see who dropped off those two women.”

It was obvious Kim herself wasn’t handling the news well, either, and the team could tell. She couldn’t shake the feeling of Nicole missing. She couldn’t shake the image of Nicole helpless on a bench at the station. So helpless, no one even looking her way. And she can’t can’t shake the fact that Nicole was doing so good, actually taking a step forward before those two bastards were released. Now, all Kim could do was watch Nicole retreat to her previous ways. She tried being there for Nicole, but Nicole was shutting her out again.

If Kim couldn’t be there for Nicole physically, she was going to do everything in her power to make Nicole feel safe again. She was the first one at work and the last to leave. She just threw herself on the case, which meant getting little sleep or lunch breaks. Even without knowing for sure it was the same two men, Kim had a gut feeling that it was, and it made her sick to her stomach that they got off so easily. Kim asked to run point on the field, but because this case was so close to her, Voight said no without hesitation.

“Kim, I get it. You’re close to this. But I can’t have you going off the books like you did last time.”

“Sarge, please. I won’t. I—“ Kim tried but was shot down by Voight again, this time more assertive.

“No. I’ve made my decision. No further questions. Kim you will run the calls in the office and you are not to go on the field. Got it? Cause if not you can just go home.” Voight stared down Kim. He wanted to make a point to not only her but also the whole team that he is in charge.

The bullpen was silent, and there was so much tension in the room no one dared to even breathe. Kim could feel all eyes on her, waiting for her to make a move.

“Yes sir,” was all Kim could get out before clearing her throat and shifting her eyes to her desk, almost in embarrassment. Adam swallowed hard, he felt so bad for Kim.

“Good. So what do we got?” Voight slid his hands in his pockets and shrugged his shoulders, getting back to business.

“We tried searching for pod footage of the train station, but couldn’t find anyone dropping the women off. Instead, we pulled video footage from the club.” Rojas began typing in her computer while the other gathered around her. Kim still sat at her desk. She felt like she couldn’t move. She was still stunned at what Voight did. And right in front of everyone too. Adam went to see the footage but kept a close eye on Kim.

“Here, you see the two victims, getting into a car. But you only see a portion of the faces of the two men.” Kevin explained.

“So not enough for facial rec.” Jay stated.

“No, but if you pause the video right here.” Kevin stopped the clip and zoomed in on one of the men’s arm, “You can see a scar on the shoulder. I ran all credit card transactions and the same two men that got Kim’s sister were there that night.”

“How does the scar link the same two men to both crimes?” Hailey asked out loud.

“Kim stabbed one of the guys in the shoulder as self defense.” Adam answered quickly, being sure not to share too much information in case Kim was sensitive to it. Everyone looked to Kim, seeing if she had a reaction. She instead was still staring at her desk. Jay began to put the pieces together.

“Do you think that’s enough probable evidence?”

“It can be.” Voight answered, starting to walk away from the desk. “Hailey, Jay, get together a paper lineup. Go see if the women can point out the suspects. Good job Rojas and Atwater. Write up a warrant for the judge.”

“Thank you sir.”

“Got it.”

Everyone stirred to action. Hailey printed out a sheet of random men, with the two suspects on there to see if the women can identify them. Jay put on his jacket and they headed downstairs to the hospital. The sudden noise and movement stirred Kim from her thoughts. She quietly rose from her desk and went to the locker room to splash water in her face. To her dismay, Adam saw Kim her up and he followed her. He wanted to make sure she was okay.

“Hey, Kim. You doing alright? Voight went down on you pretty hard.” Adam followed her into the locker room and closed the door, for privacy. She was drying off her face with a towel, and she turned to walk back out, not meeting his gaze.

“I’m good, Adam. I just want to catch these bastards.” Kim tried to move past him but he stepped in front of her, not letting her out the door.

“No, really. How are you doing? With everything?”

Kim sighed. She didn’t want to express what she was truly feeling, and she especially didn’t want to in front of Adam. Even though they had been through a lot together, this felt different. This not only affected her, but it also affected her sister and her niece. Her family. However, she knew that he wasn’t going to let her leave without doing so, so she opened up a little.

“I feel like I’m helpless. I can’t do anything up here sitting at a desk, that won’t help Nicole. That won’t help those two women. God, I just need to be out there. I need to close this case.” Kim ran her hands through her hair and then put her head in her hands, almost in self defeat.

adam places his hands on her arms, rubbing them up and down to try to sooth her. He gently consoled her, “Hey. Hey. It’s okay. You are helping by being up here. A lot. You have to be strong. For Nicole. And when we get these perps, when we do, you’ll be able to tell her you helped put those men away. We will get these perps. I will make sure of it. For you. I’m always here for you, Kim.”

Kim calmed down a little. She started to give in to her tiredness and fell into a hug when her mind ran back to the case, and she remembered that she had work to do.

“Yeah, thanks.” She pulled away and slid past him to head back to her desk to bury herself with paperwork.

Unfortunately, the two women weren’t able to identify the two men. They were too drugged to remember much of anything. However, the judge did sign off on a house warrant, saying there’s enough probably cause without the women identifying the suspects. The suspects being the same two men that assaulted Nicole and attempted rape on Kim and Erin. This information made Kim sick to her stomach. She knew that they should have been charged with more and sentenced to more time behind bars. Her gut feeling was proving to be true. She knew it had to be the guys. Fortunately, because of this, and with the previous evidence, Intelligence didn’t have to do any undercover operation. Kim was at least pleased with this, because she certainly couldn’t have gone under again, and she didn’t want anyone else going through what she and Erin did years past.

“We’re fifteen minutes out.”

“Copy. No one moves in until I say.”

“Copy that, Sarge.”

It was just past 11:00 pm, so the team was going to the nightclub that their phone pinged to about 15 minutes ago.

“Just rolled in. Both of their cars are here.”

“Twelve minutes out.”

Suddenly, a notification popped up on Kim’s computer screen. This changed everything. Kim clenched a fist, tensing up at the thought of the two men taking advantage of another pair of women. In the very same room that they tried to take advantage of her. In the very same room where Nicole was raped. She made a split second decision, and before she could talk herself out of it, she grabbed her jacket and her car keys. She headed for the back exit in order to avoid running past Trudy.

She didn’t know what she was doing. She didn’t know what she was going to do. She just knew that she had to see this case through.

...

Kim sighed. Adam. Never fails. She rubbed her eyes to try to get herself to forget about him, and she looked at her other missed massages.

*one text message from Ryan*

Babe. The cave. One hour. And don’t forget the beer.

Kim quickly look at the time.

11:43 am. Shit.

She only had twenty minutes until she would be late. And she could never be too late. Not with Ryan. She sprang out of bed and ran to the bathroom to get ready for the day.

[lilsunshiny]

Thoughts on The Last Of Us Part II

WRITING (creative process)

the game’s storyline is straight to the point, you can see from the trailer that it’s going to be a timeline about revenge. the whole game happens around joel’s death in the beginning and I guess that’s the whole reason why people are upset. but guess what? neil druckmann’s goal was to make you upset, angry and nostalgic. he accomplished his goal and that’s why you’re feeling the way you are.

you not liking the the way things went down does not mean the game’s writing is awful, it just means you were expecting something and got another. not liking something isn’t a crime and it’s totally ok as long as you respect the creators and don’t use your hate to put others down, it’s a valid opinion and that’s it.

what makes a story good is the writing and the thought put into it to make the player/reader/viewer feel a certain way, and the developers did an incredible job to do that. we feel frustrated, anxious and weird the entire gameplay and that’s exactly what they wanted from us, which means they won. I’ll talk more about my opinion on the storyline far ahead.

the graphic visuals of this game are RIDICULOUS, they’re perfect. every detail is insane to look at, they worked so hard to get it right and it was so worth it. every time I entered a new scenario I would just go into photo mode and appreciate the art because that’s what makes the game unforgettable and groundbreaking. the red lighting scenes were so perfectly made and so badass, the sky when ellie goes outside the farm with JJ is breathtaking just like every other view in the game. by far the most beautiful game I’ve ever had the honor to play.

STORYLINE (joel’s death)

the first game gave us a story about love and hope, making us guide joel into taking ellie to the fireflies looking for a cure based on ellie’s immunity. we spend the whole game thinking we’d get to the fireflies, make a cure and live happily ever after but that never happened in those terms. the gameplay made us slowly fall in love with joel and ellie as characters, joel for his tough personality that would fade under the influence of a little girl and ellie for her nativity and innocence as a young teenager who really wants to help other people by making a cure. that’s the whole situation of it, joel getting attached to ellie while she developed a paternal affection for him but in the end joel ends up doing an unforgivable thing, basically destroying the hope for a cure and ruining all hope for the world to heal from the outbreak, so he decides to lie to ellie blaming the fireflies for everything so he doesn’t lose her trust and love.

I do understand liking and loving joel as a character, myself included, because they made the game thinking about it and they knew the audience would develop a major caring for him and ellie as daughter and father, that’s how it was supposed to go and it worked it.

now let’s talk about joel’s death. I think we were all surprised to watch him die so early in the game but considering the game time and storyline, it would have never happened differently. his death was brutal, violent, merciless and inhuman, abby and her crew tortured him until he couldn’t take it anymore and he obviously suffered with ellie being held to the ground begging them to stop. I agree that it was a horrible death but we can’t just pretend joel was a sweet innocent hero because he wasn’t, the audience portrays him as a hero when he literally stopped the human race from being saved, killing the fireflies and acting out of pure selfishness. joel isn’t the angel some people paint him as, he’s not a good person and if ellie herself could never forgive him for what he did, who are we to do so? she said she would try but she never got the chance to and it took her years to even come to terms with it.

most importantly, it’s obvious that people forget these characters are human beings, not real people but they’re real in that universe and technically speaking, they run and feel the same way we would feel if we were in their shoes. they’re people, every character in the game is a person, with feelings, a background, a past, a personality and thoughts. they’re no different than us except for them living in a post apocalyptic world were morality and ethics aren’t taken into consideration since there is no law or living lifestyle.

for us to understand this storyline, we need to step away from our society’s view of morality and wrong or right, because that does not apply to them, everyone in the game has killed people and/or have done something morally questionable in their life since it’s the apocalypse and there is no wrong or right, there’s only how the characters feel about certain situations and how they act on them, which is basically what guides the entire game to happening the way it did: human feelings.

joel obviously changed after the first game, since he starts living in jackson and having to raise ellie as a daughter in a relatively normal town with other people, he’s not the same person as he was in part I, now he turned into a father and a friend, not a merciless mercenary who doesn’t care about others. we see that when he and tommy decide to help abby, a complete stranger who was about to die in the hands of infected, and maybe that’s what led people into hating abby with their heart. but ending this topic, joel’s death was bound to happen, you can’t just expect someone to destroy the world’s hope for a cure and leave with no people being angry at him and wanting revenge, that cure could’ve saved many people’s loved ones but he chose to save his loved one. if joel is indeed a terrible person or not, that’s up to you to decide, that’s more of an internal turmoil within yourself that is different for everyone depending on their experience from part I and how they view joel in the end. it’s kind of messed up if you think about it, would you let the only person you care about die for a not confirmed chance of a cure in a world that is already doomed? that’s a question for yourself.

joel’s death happened so you could see things from multiple perspectives, which is the whole fucking point of the game. there are multiple sides to every story, it’s the same world we live in except in different circumstances. your actions affect others, people have feelings and if you hurt them they might act a certain way, those characters are no different than us because they were based on genuine human thoughts and actions.

ELLIE (growth and development)

ellie is one of the most well written characters I’ve ever seen in my life. she’s the symbol of badass but fragile woman and that’s so amazing to me. as the game goes by we start seeing many sides of ellie, she slowly starts to turn into a completely different person after joel’s death and her urge for revenge. killing abby becomes her main priority the second she leaves jackson and that’s clear in the way she acts and treats others. I’ll have to play the game again to pay more attention to ellie and abby’s behavior throughout the timeline. ellie is the reflection of how the excessive amount of effort you put into a negative thought, the more it will bring you and your loved ones down. watching ellie during the story is such a nice experience, there are times where you love her to death, others you get annoyed with her or don’t agree with how she acts, and that’s exactly how the creators wanted you to feel. revenge takes ellie’s soul from the inside out, from her not being able to forgive herself for letting joel die to her going after abby for nothing but hate for herself in the end.

ellie’s journey is exciting to play and to witness as her relationship with other people (specially dina) starts to fade away and being consumed by hate and regret. we were manipulated into loving ellie since part I and I don’t think she’s a bad person, she lost everything in the hands of other people and went through a lot, losing joel was a deal breaker for her but she just didn’t realize soon enough that killing abby wasn’t going to make things better. ellie’s gameplay was meant to make you reflect on losing a loved one, grief, mourning and revenge, she’s not the lost kid from part I anymore, she’s a grown woman who just lost her dad and she doesn’t even know exactly why. the funny thing for me, which is what makes the story realistic, is that ellie didn’t fully forgive joel yet she still suffered from losing him and went after abby for revenge, when not even herself could forgive him, that’s pretty realistic in my opinion. it’s the human uncontrollable instinct of still missing someone you’re mad at and not being able to say goodbye.

for me, ellie is the perfect and most detailed reflection of revenge and what it can do to you. the game is much more than “revenge is bad don’t do it”, we all obviously know it’s bad but we still have an urge to fight back against it and make the person who hurt us suffer too because it’s not fair for us and it wasn’t fair for ellie until the very last moment.

ABBY (point of view and perspective)

by far the most controversial character of the game. I’ll star off saying I actually like abby and I think the people who hate her so deeply just didn’t understand how things go. hating abby is no different than hating ellie, they’re in the same situation for almost the entire game. abby lost her father in joel’s hands, she was still a teenager and seeing her own dad die for trying to save humanity isn’t easy, just like ellie watching joel being tortured and killed wasn’t easy. being fully honest ellie would’ve done the same thing abby did if joel was the doctor and we can’t deny that.

on the other hand, I do think the ellie and abby gameplays could’ve been distributed better, maybe switching from ellie to abby and back and forth so it wouldn’t get too tiring or confusing since we don’t know the exact timeline when we first play it. that’s the only slightly negative thing I have to say about the game.

I do think abby is a great character, they built her perfectly to make the audience hate her in the begging, painting her as a sadistic monster only to show her side of the story later on in the game and make you realize that you have been wrong all this time, making you see the bigger picture and understand that ellie isn’t the only person in the world, she isn’t loved by everyone, she’s just a girl in the world and so is abby. they both have fucked up pasts and they both lost a lot, and in terms of personality, they’re actually quite similar. we love ellie because we got to see her grow up and WE know that deep down she’s not a bad person, the first impression we had of abby was of her recklessly killing joel with a golf club when ellie was begging her to stop, since that we tend to think abby is a horrible person and that ellie is an angel, but it’s not like that at all. obviously ellie didn’t do anything wrong up to that moment to justify that happening to her, but ellie isn’t the best person in the world either.

the duality in this game was created on purpose and with a deeper meaning, ellie is ellie, abby is abby and the cycle of revenge goes on until both parts understand that it’s useless to keep going. abby let go before ellie could and let her and dina live because of lev, killing joel didn’t change abby to the better, lev changed her. tommy couldn’t change ellie, jesse couldn’t change ellie and not even dina could do it, ellie had to change and forgive herself alone. the point I’m trying to make is that abby is no better than ellie and ellie is no better than abby, they’re both emotionally drained women who are not wrong or right in the end of things.

DINA (support and reflection)

dina is the only character I will 100% defend because she’s flawless and did absolutely nothing wrong during the whole game. in my head she represents ellie’s good side, dina is the constant reminder that ellie hasn’t lost her humanity and hasn’t completely changed into someone else because of revenge, even when she has her downs (example: calling her a burden when dina says she’s pregnant). dina is the most forgiving and loyal character, she loves ellie more than anything and it shows. the sad part of it is that even with dina’s huge amount of love and affection, that doesn’t stop ellie from going in the wrong direction, which brings us to another life lesson: loving someone is a choice you make everyday and nobody can control your choices when you’re determined to do something.

ellie decided to go after abby, dina followed and supported her the whole way through, then she took that for granted and left dina and JJ behind to go after abby again (after abby let her and dina live) officially breaking dina’s heart. that was a choice, dina obviously cared so much about ellie, loved her so much but she couldn’t change ellie’s mind. but the point here is that dina is a reflection of ellie’s bright side, she keeps ellie sane until the very last moment, saving her life multiple times, going with her in a revenge journey, “you go, I go, end of story”, telling the wolves to fuck off and staying by ellie’s side, constantly putting her life at risk while being pregnant, she has loves ellie for such a long time even before getting with jesse (you can read ellie’s journal where she says cat told her dina is jealous of their relationship) and she probably took ellie back when she came back from santa barbara (a theory that I believe in because it makes sense).

dina is one of the few positive ends in the universe of the last of us, highly optimistic, funny, beautiful and an amazing support system for ellie. if it weren’t for dina, ellie would’ve become a monster.

LGBTQ+ REPRESENTATION (ellie x dina and lev)

it’s 2020 and people are still talking shit about the game just because of queer characters. that’s why I say people who hate the game are people who either didn’t capture the story or just didn’t even try to pay attention because of a closed mindset bigot sandwiches. representation is the best path to general acceptance, making people see different stories and realize that someone’s gender or sexuality does not influence on the quality of art.

ellie is a lesbian, that’s clear in the game when she says she’s “not into jessie’s type” (such a nice dialogue by the way), she talks about her ex girlfriend and clearly has had a crush on dina for the longest time (probably the reason why she broke up with cat).

dina is bisexual, in my opinion she always had a crush on ellie but maybe she lost motivation to to after her when she started to get close to cat and started talking to jessie because of that and it ended up working.

now dina and ellie’s relationship is probably the only thing that keeps us sane throughout the game, when we sit down to think “thank god ellie has dina, that means she’s not alone”, which is basically the whole concept of it, ellie not being alone because dina is there to hold her to the ground and stop her from becoming someone she doesn’t want to be.

lev being trans is something I can‘t have an opinion on, I have seen both sides: people saying it was a good approach and others saying it wasn’t an accurate representation. I’m not trans so my opinion isn’t valid and I can definitely see why many people think it was a bad reach but I also can see the other side, so I won’t comment on that.

the nice thing about representation in this game is that they brought it up as a normal thing, the only moment the focus is sexuality is when seth was being a dick and called dina the d-word, ellie got defensive but dina stopped her from getting into a fight. even then the main focus of that situation was how ellie dealt with joel saying she didn’t need his help. the point was never ellie’s sexuality, never, not even in a single moment, because it was never an issue. in a post apocalyptic society people don’t pay much attention to being homophobes (unless they’re in a fanatic religious cult or just assholes like seth).

the game approached the subject very bluntly but in a normal way, not making it that huge of a deal but it is a big deal for those who seek comfort and/or are dealing with their sexuality in a way. if a character they admire ends up being part of a minority group, they can relate to that and feel more comfortable in their own skin. we’re here, we’re real and we exist even in a fucked up infected world.

ENDING + THOUGHTS (moving on)

the last of us part II is a story about revenge, being completely different than part I which is a story about love and surviving. what happens in the second game are the consequences of the first, the choices joel made reflected upon himself, saving ellie costed everything; the cure, people’s lives and maybe a brighter future. people who are bashing the game for it’s storyline and how things went down need to understand that it’s not because we love joel that his actions didn’t matter to others. joel is a human being, so is abby and those who got harmed by joel’s choice to save ellie. joel killed abby’s dad, abby went after him for revenge, a predictable and reasonable thing to do if you just try to see it from her point of view, keep in mind that ellie would do the same exact thing.

if you can’t get yourself to see things from other people’s point of view, you missed the whole point of the game. the storyline isn’t summed up in “revenge is bad don’t do it kids”, it’s just based on the fact that death can never and will never bring you any sort of relief.

the game is the reflection of the cycle of revenge. abby going after joel for killing her dad, ellie going after abby and killing all of her friends in the process, abby finally breaks the cycle letting ellie and dina live but ellie couldn’t get over the guilt and went after abby again, yet she ended up letting her ago and officially breaking the chain for good.

the whole concept of the game is how seeking someone else’s suffering can lead to full destruction of someone’s character and values.

if ellie had killed abby she would’ve turned into the monster she was fighting against and she would lose literally everything she hadn’t already lost: her humanity. I don’t actually know the exact reason that compelled ellie to let abby go, maybe it was losing her fingers and realizing that she’ll never be able to play guitar again, which was her very last memory of joel and what he taught her. it could also be thinking of lev and how he’s the only thing abby has and vice versa, which is what she had with joel and what was taken from her, therefore she didn’t want to turn into the person who put someone through the same pain she was going through. technically if she killed abby she would have to kill lev to avoid him coming after her and continuing the cycle and doing that would kill ellie even more.

to make this shorter, abby moved on earlier than ellie. mostly because abby actually got her revenge killing joel but you gotta look through things before you put all the blame on her. ellie lost everyone in her life, her parents, riley, tess, sam and then joel, going after abby was a defense mechanism since she couldn’t have done anything to save those she lost before, but losing the one who took care and raised her was something she couldn’t bare, specially when she thought joel was the only person she had even though they weren’t in good terms and she and dina weren’t a thing yet.

ellie needed to revenge joel at all costs because that’s what she thought he would want, but in the end she realizes he would want her to move on and be happy, because that’s what he always tried to give her: the best shot in life that he couldn’t give sarah. ellie thought that by killing abby she would be able to let go, when in reality she would just feel more guilty for leaving lev alone like she was having no emotional relief concerning her PTSD. ellie got to that beach fully aware that killing abby wasn’t going to solve any of her problems, but a single memory of joel made her make the decision that she wasn’t going to let her go without a fight. their final fight was silent, in the middle of nowhere, they had absolutely nothing to say to each other because they were both fighting for nothing but excessive mental emptiness. they both knew that nothing would bring their loved ones back and they were ready to move on.

what the game wants to teach you is that nothing good comes from searching revenge and other’s suffering. ellie gets consumed by her own view of justice and ends up losing herself both inside and outside, when she comes to terms with the fact that killing abby won’t bring joel back from the dead, it’s already too late. she lost jessie, her friendship with tommy, her good memories with joel, her fingers which results in her not being able to play guitar anymore, the love of her life and her son.

in the last of us part one ellie says that her biggest fear is to end up alone, and the saddest part of all is that her actions led her to making that fear come true. the ending is ambiguous, it can mean something different to different people depending on what you choose to interpret things and how you view the characters. for some, ellie could just end up alone looking for a life purpose that doesn’t involve anyone from her past. to others, ellie returned to jackson and proved dina that she loved her and that now she’s ready to fully commit because she let go of her anger and is at peace with herself and her inner struggles. but that’s all up to you to decide what you want to believe in.

at the end of the day, this storyline is beautiful, heartbreaking, breathtaking and emotionally draining. it makes you think and open your mind to new perspectives, which is honestly one of the best things art is able to do, create a new universe for you to deep your thoughts in and take your own conclusions. the last of us didn’t have a bad or good ending, it had a realistic ending. just because they didn’t make this the way you wanted it doesn’t mean the writing is bad, it means you’re probably disappointed and that’s fine, but hating on it isn’t the way to make a point.

I can only thank everyone involved for creating this world and making me so invested in it, connecting me with these amazing characters and emotions that I never experienced playing a game before. there is nothing more to say except: endure and survive.

[giorgiastastes]

버닝 / Burning (2018)

"It's too close, you might not see it"

What to say about this movie...

The film itself is quite simple, even too easy at first sighting I'd dare to say, but the meaning behind, the interpretations and smart details is what makes it unique and pretty much a masterpiece.

I'm sure that most people, or at least those who usually watch unchallenging to elaborate movies, won't like it. If you're looking for something what will be "explained to you", for the director to give you that big plot twist or long monologue, you won't find it here. But if you want to watch a work of art that'll make you think, reflect and crash your minds, you have a good journey in front of you.

I remember that as soon as I've finished watching it I went online to look for theories, to see if someone else had the same idea as me, if I got it right and what I've missed, and then I planned to write here my thoughts on the real explaination, but after rewatching and searching I've figured it out BURNING doesn't really have a "true" explaination in my idea, or better, the director definitely knows what he believes is the so called truth, but the strength of it is how free of interpretations it is. I've read hundreds theories and honestly all of them could fit just right, so for once I've decided to do something different.

In here I will summarize all the theories, under layers and explaination that I've read, figured out or found, and I will leave to you, the reader, to believe your own "truth"

This will be full of spoilers, it's actually a summarization of the after watch, so read at your own risk, and since I'm taking for granted that you've watched the movie and remember it quite well too, I won't always repeat the plot when not necessary.

• Ben sells organs on the black market. That's how he gets his money and Haemi is aware of this, and decided to sell her own organs to pay off her debt. She even says I'D SELL MY ORGANS IF I WERE YOUNGER. She could also be unaware of this and that's why she dissapears.

• Ben is a serial killer. He seduces fragile women who are very easy preys to such an handsome and carismactic young man, and then gets rid of them after he gets tired. This happens about every couple of months, which corresponds to his journey in Africa timeline. They are the greenhouses he burns, because he knows nobody will look for them, and in fact the police does not care about the greenhouses, just like they don't care about missing women nobody knows about.

Ben also owns all the qualities of a maniac sociopath who's keen on control and feels no emotion or empathy. He never cries for example. He also feels pride in his crime and he's almost tempted to confess them to show how good he is. That's why he says to Jongsu that he will burn a greenhouse close to him, but he didn't mean it in a special terminology, but more like in an emotional sense. He will kill the the closest thing the other has, which is Haemi. He also states that she dissapeared like "smoke".

This would also be justified by the creepy call the protagonist receives by Haemi before she dissapears. The biggest evidence placed by the director to prove that this theory is the most correct one is in the last scene, where Ben is putting makeup on a new girl. For a non Korean speaker it's quite hard to get the reference but Makeup and corpses' cremation are spelled in the same way in the hangul language, therefore the movie showing us Ben doing the girl's makeup is the alternative way to say he's killed her and is now cremating the body, hence his obsession with fires.

He's the one who cleaned Haemi's room and took her cat. He also keeps his victims personal objects as a throphy of some sort.

• Ben is a pimp. He's the trainer for these beautiful, young but poor women who are ready to sell themselves when he convinces them to do so. This is shown as Haemi also become less and less shy as the movie goes on, as seen in the undressing scene, while being more bold and provocative too. He changed her drastically, or maybe only let her discover a different, more free, part of herself. He also applies makeup on them how he would do to a doll, playing dress up for a woman who's now becoming just an object of desire that can be bought.

• Ben is a human trafficker. He sends women into slavery while promising them a life of luxury and happiness. That's why he shows off his idyllic lifestyle, and then sells them in Africa (where he goes frequently), where they'll never be found.

• Ben is a life guru. He teaches unsecure and frustrated women to feel liberated and less oppressed, to leave it all behind and start from scratch. They pay him, that's why he's rich. He also keeps a "souvenir" of every woman he has turned. This could explain why he shows up to the meeting with Jongsu in the finale. If he actually killed or sold these women he wouldn't fall into the other man's trick.

• Ben doesn't exist. He's just the symbol of everything Jongsu is not but aspires to be. He's rich, confident, cultured and attractive. Every flaw and layer of insecurity Jongsu seems to have, Ben lacks. And in the end, when the protagonist finally becomes brave enough to mature, to actually chase the woman he loves, he's able to kill the shadow of himself that only reminded him of how miserable he was.

• Ben and Jongsu are the same person. Much Fight Club like, they're the same human being, just different, extreme sides of one. Jongsu could have a personality disorder or maybe we're just shown two sides of him that prove his mental health issues. That's also why Haemi seems to be involved with both of them without choosing a side, because one is the gentle but insecure fraction, the other the bold but arrogant one. And then, in the end, when such division is making him go insane, he decides to kill his alter ego.

• It's just a love triangle. One of my favorite songs of all time had a similar topic. There's the main character, a shy and quiet boy, who falls in love with a girl who feels foreign and unreachable to him. But he's not the only one in her life. She also has another lover who's much more attractive and manly in a way, and all three start to share this peculiar poliamorous love story, mostly platonic. She's very pretty and feels as free as Venus, torn between two men. Then one day she leaves, and she'll never come back. But while the second boy easily moves on with his life, figuring out it was just a näive fling, the singer remains stuck, obsessing over her day and night, trying to find answers and solutions just not to deal with the realization of her not loving him enough to stay.

• Every character represents a social stereotypes and criticism of modern South Korean classes. I think this is very straightforward, especially Jongsu's jealousy of Ben's wealth, and Haemi's attempt to RISE in the social pyramid, surrounding herself with high class people like Ben or his friends, even letting them make joke of her, to mock her, all of it just to feel part of their group and reality.

• It's all in Jongsu's head.

• The disappearance of Haemi, whether it happened or not or HOW it happened are not the main focus on the movie, which instead is the characters dealing with such loss and lack of knowledge on what happened. Much like the Russian movie Loveless (2017), where the event is only used as an artistical device to let the story progress and the characters' grief culminate. Maybe we really don't need to know what happened to her, maybe she's dead, maybe she's alive and better than ever, but to the movie's intent such information is superficial, it's just the human need to fill our curiosity when were too afraid to deal with the pain of remaining unaware of it. Jongsu is sure she's been killed and that brings him to his next move, but the viewer, he doesn't need to know, because he doesn't need to act, to keep the story going.

• Haemi might have killed herself. Ben is the only one who knows about this and that's why she gives him her cat. She also shows multiple signs of advanced depression, for more than half of the movie is almost like she's not there, like she's already just the memory, the ghost of a girl who once was there.

• The movie itself is just a metaphor. The metaphor is many times used by the characters and maybe not only as a word, part of a dialogue, but the overall film might be A BIG, CRIPTIC METAPHOR.

• Everything is hereditary. From family's fortunes and richness to behavior and inner rage. Jongsu was born poor and will die as such just like his father, and even though he seems like the most innocuous being, he's able to take out his rage on other just like this father. I guess it's in the genes.

• Jongsu is the calf. The calf represents Jongsu's pureness and naivety. And when he sells it, he's also selling his soul in a way.

• Haemi represents South Korea, Jongsu North Korea, Ben is the new Korea, the one always more and more Westernized.

• We're just reading the plot of Jongsu's book. When Haemi leaves for Africa he has plenty of time to write the story he's planning to put into words, and that's what he does. Everything we see after she comes back from her journey is just the plot of the book, and the creation of Jongsu's imagination.

• A modern reinterpretation of the Great Gatsby. Yes, obviously a VERY liberate view of the novel, but many details seem to be quite evocative.

• A criticism to how South Korea treats women. Even the movie itself does this, probably on purpose. The one who disappears is a woman, but the ones who are the main centre of attention are men. She's only a story device, never the real protagonist.

• Ben wanted Jongsu to discover his crimes so he could reach fame if the other ever made a book out of it. He's so full of himself he'd rather be punished for his crimes than never showing off how good he was at covering every proof. That's why he dies almost peacefully, and shed a tear, which he claimed to have never done before.

• The well Haemi reference to, symbolizes falling into prostitution. That's why Jongsu's mother knows about it too, since it's quite obvious she's now an escort. But she states the well is dry, as a way of saying that it's not how easy and fun it might seem.

• This is just the tragic story of a boy who's lost every possible source of love. From his father in jail, his mother who abandoned him, to the only girl that ever showed him affection disappearing, and a new friend who he decides to kill.

• Ben is Death or maybe the devil personified. He helps Haemi get the courage to end it one for all, and even pushes Jongsu to kill, cursing his soul.

[bigskydreaming]

marshmallowmayhem replied to your post:

In Bruce’s defense, anyone who blames him for...

Wait did Dick go to juvie or child protective services? juvie would mean he committed a crime but I don’t remember that being part of his origin story.

This is something a lot of people are unclear on, because like...the version of Dick’s origin story this refers to used euphemisms like “Gotham Youth Center”....but then clarified on the next page that like....most of the kids there were there because of adult crimes. So it was pretty clearly some kind of juvenile detention center, like, they had actual cells, and uniforms and a barbed wire fence, but I think the euphemisms threw some people. 

But because I think a lot of people aren’t familiar with the actual issue itself, its from Robin Annual #3, the origin used for Dick in the 90s, and I’ve included scans of that part of the issue below the cut. This was before Dick was retconned as Romani, so at the time, racism wouldn’t have been the explicit reason Dick’s case worker put him there, but it was abundantly clear she ‘disapproved’ of his upbringing and circus background and seemed of the opinion that juvie was where a kid like him was destined to end up anyway, and it was what he deserved or whatever the fuck. 

Bottom line....Dick’s origin as laid out here, was clearly one where he was victimized by classism and an uncaring system that didn’t give a shit that he was a traumatized kid...until Bruce realized he hadn’t been sent to an actual foster home and arranged for Dick to be put in his care the very next day after he found out. 

(Which I’ve always headcanoned makes far more sense than the idea that nobody would have a problem with a notoriously flaky playboy billionaire just all of a sudden wanting to take in an orphaned boy, and there would be no barriers to this....because with this route...it paves the way for Bruce to apply leverage to CPS with how massively they’d fucked up with Dick and threaten all manners of lawsuits if they didn’t let him take Dick in.....which has a LOT more positive connotations for him and his and Dick’s relationship than if he’d had to bribe people in order to smooth over getting custody of Dick. Not to mention, to me, this take was more in character for Bruce because while its no doubt that he empathized with Dick from the moment they met, that night at the circus...given Bruce’s age and lifestyle, I can’t imagine his first instinct being that he was the best person to take Dick in. 

WANTING to, sure. Even if he didn’t fully understand the impulse himself. But I feel like its more likely that at first he would have second guessed himself or talked himself out of it, thinking that with all his own personal issues, he wasn’t a fit guardian.....but then you see him find out what CPS actually did to Dick, rather than putting him with a fit guardian....and that to me is where its far more plausible to see Bruce transition to thinking “Well obviously I can’t trust anyone else with this boy, so I’ll just have to raise him myself” because ‘if you want something done right, do it yourself’ is literally Bruce’s life philosophy and the impetus of his vigilantism even. LOL.)

Anyway, scans of that month Dick spent in juvie under the cut, and trigger warnings for abuse and violence against children.

Also the source of my aggravation with people making fun of Dick’s name in universe, because like, look at the social worker kinda sneer at it and tell me that’s not classism, thinking that the name his parents had for him wasn’t good enough by her standards....and then ask if all the jokes at Dick’s expense about his name aren’t rooted in the same kind of thinking that like, that’s what a name like that is there for, instead of like....just a character’s fond nostalgia for his childhood with his parents but whatevs.

[geejaysmith]

Kat and I have amazing conversations sometimes and I felt they had to be shared. Also, alienfuckers, dad jokes, Maxwell’s alternative lifestyle and other headcanons, and Ace Attorney: Doug Eiffel edition. Full transcript under the cut.

Gill [Yesterday at 6:05 PM]: On an Unrelated topic: after the finale the crew remembers "OH YEAH, EIFFEL ACTUALLY HAD A FACE-TO-FACE CONVERSATION WITH ALIENS" and now in addition to all the other reasons to want him to Remember they're really freakin' curious to know how that went

Kat [Yesterday at 6:11 PM]: Minkowski: so what did they look like Eiffel: me (They do seem to like his body, they had a few models to choose from when talking to Cutter.)

Gill [Yesterday at 6:13 PM]: Eiffel, probably: at least the aliens think I'm cool I know what was meant by that but your phrasing made me think "In a shocking turn of events, it is the aliens who are attracted to the human." The aliens... are alienfuckers

Kat [Yesterday at 6:17 PM]: I don't think that's their jam but that WOULD be just his luck

Gill [Yesterday at 6:18 PM]: It is unlikely, but also: it would be hilarious

Kat [Yesterday at 6:21 PM]: the aliens keep sending me mental sexts and i crave death

Gill [Yesterday at 6:22 PM]: And lo another shitpost transforms into a fanfic concept, like a humble irradiated lizard becoming Godzilla: "would you fuck your clone?"

Kat [Yesterday at 6:28 PM]: leave him alone has the man not suffered enough

Gill [Yesterday at 6:28 PM]: No

Kat [Yesterday at 6:29 PM]: sigh

Gill [Yesterday at 6:29 PM]: Dance for my amusement, Douglas And also because I earnestly suspect that in the case of Eiffel and an interested alien-consciousness-in-the-form-of-a-Xerox-copy-of-him the answer would end up being "yes"

Kat [Yesterday at 6:34 PM]: idk i feel like it'd be more like "Oh what you spend two fucking years trying to drag us into the star because you can't be assed to make an appearance but you'll teleport across the galaxy for a booty call? Fuck you and I mean that figuratively" later sluts

Gill [Yesterday at 6:36 PM]: Bob is a bad datemate Is this entire train of thought brought on by the fact I still think of the person who expressed they shipped Bob/Eiffel in the tags of the "Take your double to Disneyland" post? Perhaps

Kat [Yesterday at 6:39 PM]: i don't know that you can have this at the same time as 'what if the aliens' bodies are still the people suppressed' without it getting Fucked Up but that's your perogative I guess as long as I don't have to hear about it family can't walk w me tonight so i need to hit the treadmill for a bit. ttyl

Gill [Yesterday at 6:41 PM]: See u in a bit! But ah yes, I hadn't thought of that til you brought it up Points at one explanation of Dear Listener manifestations for some ideas, points at a different explanation for ideas that would become unintentionally Pretty Fucked Up under the first explanation Although there is comedy potential to be found in Eiffel and Eiffel-2 having the "are we down with this" conversation In the /Justin McElroy voice, "someone just discovered they have ~the world's worst fetish~" sense

Kat [Yesterday at 7:33 PM]: a different terrible concept: eiffel with his pop culture references restored will likely be called upon to testify at the united nations

Gill [Yesterday at 7:37 PM]: O h  g o d Ace Attorney: Doug Eiffel edition

Kat [Yesterday at 7:46 PM]: i mean they're gonna have to tell the world SOMEHOW and i'd think the international court would want to know and he's the one with the subconscious recall implanted sidenote if the DL can do that mental transfer could they have just... asked them to reupload whatever their most recent scan of eiffel was there are so many ways around this that's why it failed to get much of an emotional rxn from me

Gill [Yesterday at 7:47 PM]: Minkowski and Lovelace trying to get him to practice his testimony bc if they hit enough subconscious recall triggers they can at LEAST get thru an explanation of the aliens without Eiffel going off into a tangent Once they're off the Dear Listeners' script though all bets are off

Kat [Yesterday at 7:48 PM]: here's a list of preplanned questions your honor we're not responsible if you ask anything else

Gill [Yesterday at 7:51 PM]: Eiffel, maybe: now Goddard didn't send up us there to bring home any xenomorphs but let me tell you, with the Decima project? They might as WELL have let a facehugger get up close and personal with me The translators rapidly swapping notes on late 70's sci-of cinema because a handful of them actually know what he's talking about

Kat [Yesterday at 7:54 PM]: Minkowski headdesking behind him Eiffel English isn't most of these people's first languages

Gill [Yesterday at 7:57 PM]: The news cameras are all dead-focused on Eiffel. He's hit his stride and is picking up steam. "And it was right around the time I was coughing up my liquefied respiratory system that I thought to myself, gee, I'd MUCH rather get a face of alien wing-wong than deal with this!" Minkowski is off to the side. She is visibly restraining herself. No poker face in the world can hide how hard she is longing for death. Whether it is hers or Eiffel's is a subject of contentious debate.

Kat [Yesterday at 7:58 PM]: someone at an elementary school: hey Garcia, is that your dad

Gill [Yesterday at 8:01 PM]: Anne, who was four the last time she saw her father in person, gets one look at the man weaving an intricate Star Wars metaphor out of crimes against humanity and recognizes him instantly, but signs back "I have never seen this guy before in my life."

Kat [Yesterday at 8:04 PM]: good call kiddo

============

Gill [Yesterday at 8:10 PM]: Honestly I love the concept that no matter how much Eiffel may drive them up the wall sometimes the rest of the crew would meet Anne and immediately be ready to kill a man for her sake

Kat [Yesterday at 8:15 PM]: as far as we know he's the only crewmember with kids women in the military... it wouldn't be easy even if you wanted one, which idk if any of them did

Gill [Yesterday at 8:15 PM]: Wait wait, brainwave: it is actually AMAZING that Minkowski had no idea Eiffel had a child because... does he seem like the kind of guy. Who would ever resist a Dad Joke.

Kat [Yesterday at 8:15 PM]: haha fair

Gill [Yesterday at 8:16 PM]: Eiffel: Actually, I have amazing self-restraint when I choose to exercise it. (Various noises of disbelief.) Eiffel: have you ever heard me tell a dad joke? No? I rest my case

Kat [Yesterday at 8:21 PM]: biggest plot hole of the series more like it was too painful a memory but still

Gill [Yesterday at 8:22 PM]: If he ever patches that connection it'll open the floodgates

Kat [Yesterday at 8:26 PM]: He'll become the Maes Hughes of the gang, except with fewer war crimes

Gill [Yesterday at 8:27 PM]: ...has anyone on this crew done war crimes? SI-5 excepted of course, they have obviously done war crimes

Kat [Yesterday at 8:32 PM]: yeah SI5 is war crime central I'm not sure about some of the other stuff executing a prisoner? idk about Minkowski

Gill [Yesterday at 8:32 PM]: Also my thought

Kat [Yesterday at 8:32 PM]: she wasn't a formal pow though it was an ongoing engagement I don't know the rules

Gill [Yesterday at 8:32 PM]: Minkowski Has Done One (1) War Crime (Goddard Futuristics attempts to bring that against her in the court case only for Maxwell to stroll in like lol what's up gang)

Kat [Yesterday at 8:37 PM]: does Goddard in its current incarnation last long enough to sue anyone i mean i think you could sue them for attempted genocide

Gill [Yesterday at 8:38 PM]: Look I have had one semester of business law You were the one who almost went to law school Also re: other characters being parents, the only one I could see going kiiiinda either way on the subject is Lovelace and it wouldn't have been terribly high on her priority list prior to the Hephaestus mission I can see characters having the opinion that they could see Minkowski as a mom but she and her husband both strike me as understanding themselves and one another as being more career-oriented

Kat [Yesterday at 8:44 PM]: yeah if she wanted to rise in the ranks of the military... that would probably be a strike against her

Gill [Yesterday at 8:44 PM] And the implication she's got a Complex about her parents having both left promising careers to raise her Also, Lovelace: Well I always said I could see myself settling down someday, maybe have a family if I met the right person, but when I took the job with Goddard it was legally dubious whether I could actually do that- Eiffel: Because you're an alien? Eiffel: Eiffel: ...wait a sec

Kat [Yesterday at 8:54 PM]: ha It's ok to be gay in space

Gill [Yesterday at 8:56 PM]: Alternatively it's Hera who said that bc didn't connect those dots right away, meanwhile Eiffel saw Lovelace in a flannel shirt once and Knew Immediately Eiffel may be dumb but somehow his Bi-Fi has yet to fail him

Kat [Yesterday at 8:59 PM]: Hera doesn't grasp  human sexuality nuances

Gill [Yesterday at 9:01 PM]: Funny addition to above thought: Eiffel put together that Jacobi was gay after like three days on the Urania, was the only one on the Hephaestus crew to do so, and just never felt it was relevant to bring up Hera, my child... you have much to learn (Also, Hera, probably: I'm experimenting at the moment, I'm looking for a torrent so I can download lesbianism)

Kat [Yesterday at 9:04 PM]: I don't know which option is funnier, that Jacobi is just Really Fucking Obvious but Eiffel was the only one paying attention or that it was super subtle and everyone's like How Did You Do That lovelace's righteous fury overwhelmed her gaydar, she was too mad to go 'same hat'

Gill [Yesterday at 9:07 PM]: Eiffel: I have something to confess to all of you... Jacobi: Eiffel literally not a single person on this ship is straight Eiffel: Oh I was just going to recount a PG version of my wild younger days, let's just say I know a thing or two because I've seen a thing or two.

Kat [Yesterday at 9:07 PM]: Jacobi on Earth: Just matched with myself on Grinder a-fucking-GAIN

Gill [Yesterday at 9:10 PM]: Jacobi: Oh I definitely picked up on it but who wants to go playing into stereotypes by speculating on what may or may not be a promiscuous history? Eiffel: Promiscuous? Look I've got notches in my belt but mostly I just ended up laying in somebody's bathtub at a house party while just conscious enough to nod along to someone else's relationship drama. Eiffel: to several sororities, I was the Gay Bathtub Wizard.

Kat [Yesterday at 9:11 PM]: Maxwell on day one of orientation: So if SI5 is paramilitary what's their stance on alternative lifestyles? Jacobi: I was recruited in a gay bar.

Gill [Yesterday at 9:12 PM]: Her asking the question has my brain going in several different directions

Kat [Yesterday at 9:13 PM]: I think she was recruited right after dadt was repealed... if obama exists in this universe fantasy obama

Gill [Yesterday at 9:15 PM]: One part of my brain: Maxwell is also gay Another part of my brain: Maxwell is exclusively attracted to nonhuman persons Yet another part of my brain, most adjacent to number #2: Maxwell voice, who in their right mind would build a robot that can't fuck? The 4th part of my brain: Maxwell wants to know how chill they'll be with her living exclusively off energy drinks and frozen yogurt for weeks at a time

Kat [Yesterday at 9:15 PM]: honestly I figured whatever it was it was MUCH weirder than just being gay

Gill [Yesterday at 9:15 PM]: Maxwell: I have plans to take over the world with my army of battle bots and rule as their robot queen.

Kat [Yesterday at 9:16 PM]: Maxwell: wait if you were recruited in a gay bar does that mean our boss frequents those or did he just go there to get you Jacobi: Believe me the question haunts me also Jacobi: sounds great i'm in

Gill [Yesterday at 9:16 PM]: Or, Maxwell: I am not joking for an instant when I say that I for one welcome our alien overlords "When I was 13 I tried to get myself abducted by aliens" except it's not a joke it's an actual minor headcanon of mine Also I almost typed "adopted" rather than "abducted" which shows you why Alana would probably want to do that

Kat [Yesterday at 9:19 PM]: she did say she's on bad terms with her family

Gill [Yesterday at 9:20 PM]: She grew up a pastor's kid in a tiny rural town in Montana, hearing that they don't get along is the furthest thing from a surprise to me. The surprise is that Maxwell has a restraining order against them

Kat [Yesterday at 9:21 PM]: tht implies the court found reasonable cause to issue one wack anyway i had a long day, i'm gonna call it a night

Gill [Yesterday at 9:21 PM]: o/ But yeah that Maxwell empathizes with nonhumans, apparently more than with most regular humans, that makes perfect sense to me I can see her frustration with the AI Ethics board in her last job Expressing Their Concerns and her suppressing flashbacks to many a Creationist rant, and trying to keep her eye from twitching visibly, and no I am not projecting I am just coloring in blank spaces in the narrative with my relevant life experience

[rayofsunas]

The Decimation of Us | Oh Sehun

A/N: I want Sehun to dye his hair black again. Because OMG HOT. This imagine was a collab with @exodestroyedmylife on here. Go check out her part of the collab that circulates around Baekhyun and the Reader. I don't really like the ending of this, but I've been working on this for weeks so I needed to get it up as soon as possible; I felt bad for making my collaborator wait. So sorry it might be bad. I remember editing this and read briefly over the part I just wrote, but I could've missed something, so if there's errors that's why.

@exodestroyedmylife ‘s Baekhyun Scenario

Pairings: Oh Sehun x Fem! Reader

Summary: You and your fiancé are the modern day Bonnie and Clyde or real life Harley and Joker.

Warnings: swearing, crimes are committed, guns are used, angst, murder is mentioned/occurs, bombs mentioned,

Genre: Bonnie and Clyde AU! / Harley Quinn and Joker AU! / Angst

Words: 3,982

If someone asked you as a young child if you ever saw yourself here, doing this at twenty two years old, you probably would've called them crazy for even assuming you were capable of such heinous crimes.

But really, you were the crazy one. Robbing a bank was never in your forte, and at first, you were against it all together. You both were. But things changed, people changed, the plan changed.

"Sehun, try not to kill him, alright? We don't need any more crimes under our belts." You called over to the tall charcoal haired man, who had a firm grip on the aging, salt and pepper haired banker.

"I'm not making any promises." Sehun called back, his voice sounding a bit muffled on the other side of the banks large room. But through the distortion of his voice you could still hear him clearly ordering demands left and right at the man who was being used as a hostage; more like someone who you could use until you get rid of him or let him go. "Hey asshat, stop moving if you value your life. Just because the pretty lady over there is calling all the shots, doesn't mean I won't rough you up a bit." Said Sehun.

"After all she said try not to kill you, am I right?" Muffled grunts and groans escaped the older mans mouth, and you just ignored it all as you continued searching through the cash registers; focused on the green bills located inside.

A huge teeth showing smile appeared on your face as soon as your eyes came in contact with the money that you just continued to pile into the black duffle bag.

Sure it was selfish, a crime, horrible, and a sin in many peoples books to do this. But what else were you supposed to do? Go out and get a job like a normal person?

Hell no. You and Sehun weren't normal people, and quite frankly, you enjoyed living this dangerous lifestyle. Maybe not before, it defiantly want preferred. But now it excited you, gave you more adrenaline than most activities in life, hell, even sex half of the time.

"Are you almost done in there?" Sehun's voice cut in, seemingly becoming closer each time you struggled to open the last register.

"Almost," You huffed trying to pry open the last cash register behind the desk. But to your luck, it was locked shut. "It's locked." Turning to face your fiancé who was now behind you, confusion crossed his gorgeous face.

Disbelief crossed his face as he muttered, "It's locked?" It was odd. That much your fiancé knew. He ordered that banker minutes ago to open all five of the registers, and he'd watched him do it. The sneaky bastard must've relocked the last safe, when you weren't watching him; obviously too greedy as you stuffed as much money into the duffle as you could fit.

You nodded angrily, your foot coming in contact with the wall behind you.

Whispering to Sehun you said, "He didn't unlock it."

"That can't be possible. I watched him unlock them all." Growled your lover, eyes burning holes into the clerk.

"Clearly he didn't."

By the look on your fiancés face, he wasn't pleased. To say the least, the criminal didn't like being lied to. If anyone lied to him, they better be ready to face the harsh consequences. He'd do the most unforgiving things to anyone who crossed him the wrong way, especially with a lie.

"You," Addressing the nameless banker sitting tied up on the other end of room, determination along with anger crossed Sehun's face. Tapping the cash register he ordered, "Open this. Now." That wasn't much of a demand more like an order. Because if he didn't open it, he wouldn't be sparing his life like he so badly wanted you and Sehun to do as soon as you arrived. I mean it was pretty pathetic in your opinion. He was crawling on the floor, begging for mercy as his eyes teared up.

You both watched as the pathetic scrawny man tried to get up, only using his legs, eventually shakily standing before stumbling over to the pair of you.

"You've already taken enough, haven't you!?" Snapped the banker, although he hadn't meant to. You took notice that his hands behind his back seemed to shake, which could either mean one of two things. He was trying to somehow loosen the zip ties around both of his wrists or he was truly, deeply scared. You assumed it was the latter. Because after Sehun threatened him a countless amount of times, you didn't see the older man trying to defy either of you.

Sehun's glare intensified. "What was that?" His voice sounded so menacing, so dangerous, and it honestly turned you on.

He jumped, obviously terrified for his life. "I—I mean you've probably already taken thousands... I wouldn't be surprised if you've managed to accumulate millions. Please, just— you have enough..." the man pleaded with both his eyes and voice.

Sehun just ignored him though, arms folding across his broad chest. "Give me the key." Sehun wasn't having it, not right now at least. And you didn't even think on one of the best days he'd be taking shit from a guy like this. He was growing impatient and quite frankly, so were you. Although, you were pretty sure Sehun was way closer till his snapping point; meaning he could snap at any given second.

"Sir—"

"I won't ask again. If you won't hand the key over, I guess I'll be searching through the pockets of a dead man." Shrugged Sehun.

What Sehun had said visibly had shaken the man, persuading him to nod down to his jeans, a sigh escaping past his dry lips.

"In my left pocket." Sehun glared at him skeptically, wondering and questioning if this was some kind of trick. "I wouldn't lie." The older man explained briefly.

"Bullshit." Hissed your fiancée. "You're saving your ass."

The man deadpanned, his eyes slightly rolling. "Wouldn't anyone else in this situation want to live?"

"I'm not so sure." Sehun decided to take a risk and patted down the mans left jean pocket. "You've tested my patience more then I can count. You're lucky she's here," Sehun nodded back over to you, waiting not so patiently for the key. "This isn't my first time running into guys like you." Said your tall fiancée.

As soon as the keys were in the criminals hand he grinned to himself before whistling over at you, grabbing your attention immediately, afterwards tossing the key in your direction.

"We've been here too long. The only reason why the police aren't here already, is because it's two in the morning. They're probably asleep,"

Nodding in agreement, as soon as the key was in your hand, you squatted down to shove the key forcefully into its slot. Twisting said key, finally opening the register, you began to once again shovel the large wads of cash into the somehow not empty duffle bag.

Sehun stood to his full height, skeptically wandering around the locked bank. "Is everything in place?"

"Yeah." Sehun mumbled grabbing the black bags full of cash, heading towards the back door of the bank that lead to your waiting car.

You nodded as you zipped the last bag shut, having grabbed every last penny.

Mumbling a low, "We're done." to your lover, you began heading for the door.

"Wait!" A shrill yell escaped the bakers mouth, halting you immediately at the door, Sehun already on the other side loading the bags into the car. "You said if I helped you, you'd set me free!" Desperation laced his voice. Eyes rolling, you flatly said, "I did say that. But I've changed my mind."

"W—What?" His voice came out in a shocked whisper, for he really beloved you'd let him free. Stupid, pathetic, helpless man. He was never going to be set free, he was never going to leave here alive. The only reason you didn't tell him earlier was because you didn't want to hear him whine and beg the whole time, it would grow quite annoying and surely would tick your hotheaded fiancé off even more.

Turning fully to face him, your eyes glazed over the bomb set up near the middle of the room, hidden beneath a chair that was situated behind a desk. It looked small, and if you weren't looking for it or didn't know it was there, you wouldn't even know there was something so harmful in the room.

But it was deadly. Deadly enough to destroy this whole room, enough to tear it to shreds.

"Don't leave! Set me free, you promised you would!" Tearing your eyes away from the pleading man, you looked down at the ground. Trying to come to terms with what to do.

"Babe, hurry up." Sehun's voice sharply cut in through the mans whines and complains.

You knew you needed to go. The police would be here any minute if you didn't. By you couldn't just leave him here to like this to suffer. If the blast from the bomb didn't kill him, he'd probably burn alive. And that was a horrible way to go out. Sure, you were a criminal. But just because you stole and killed a few along the way who deserved it, didn't mean this poor man deserved to suffer.

Pulling the murderous weapon out of your coat pocket, you eventually looked up and aimed at his temple; his eyes quivered with fear.

"Sehun's a lot harsher than me. But, when the bomb goes off you won't want to be alive for it."

"B—Bomb?" You nodded. "It'll shred you to pieces. I'm doing you a favor."

"Doing me a favor would be letting me walk out of here a safe man." Your head shook, a slight grin crossing your lips.

"That would be one hell of a favor, wouldn't it?"

Although you felt guilty and really wanted to let him free, you know he couldn't. He wasn't to be trusted, not after he hid the keys. Right now, he'd say he wouldn't tell anyone, but down the road when the time was convenient for him, he'd cry wolf.

Cries escaped his mouth, and suddenly you didn't feel as much guilt anymore. It'd be a big weight off of your shoulders knowing you didn't have to worry about someone ratting you out. There usually were never witnesses, but on those rare occasions that there happened to be some, Sehun took care of it. He was a lot more ruthless than you, though half the time it seemed like you called the shots.

"Do you have a family?" You found yourself flatly asking, truly wondering if there were going to be people who would mourn over his death, if they would hunt you down forever, drive themselves crazy.

The mans head shook hurriedly side to side, as his eyes searched yours for any bit of empathy. You no longer held empathy for this man.

"Then I guess no one will be around to miss you."

—

[TWO YEARS AGO]

"He's not as dangerous as the others locked up. But he's manipulative and a liar." Said the guard who's name was Eunkyuk. He looked young, not your age but maybe a few years older. You wondered what landed him here. What made him want to work here with all of these dangerous criminals.

"Have you ever thought for once, maybe he's telling the truth?" Eyes staring at the tall man, he shrugged as you both continued walking down the dark hallway. Eunkyuk opened his mouth to snap, "We run into people like him daily. So no, it's never crossed my mind."

Stopping at a door you gulped. You were nervous. Scared even. You'd been warned on the car ride here on what to say and what not. Sudden movements were also something you needed to be careful of. Don't get to close; because he's swiped keys from guards, and try not to look into his eyes. Because if you do, he thinks he's got you all figured out, and by then with his distracting sweet talking urging you to speak, he usually does. At least that's what the guards explained to you in as much detail as they could.

"Am I allowed to ask what he's in here for?" The set of keys jingled beside you, but you didn't look over. You were bracing yourself for what was to come. Eunkyuk didn't answer at first, and you immediately knew that was classified information. He wasn't supposed to tell you, or maybe he was allowed too, but was saving you the disgust for whatever he was in here for.

"His sister drowned in a pool three years back." Eunkyuk mumbled, the keys already in his hand.

"How long has he been locked up?"

Eunkyuk shrugged, going to unlock the door. "Only 10 months."

"The courts tried him with child endangerment and neglect." You were becoming more like a detective with all of these questions, but truthfully, it would help you understand Sehun a lot more if you knew why he was here. "Do you think he's innocent?"

Eunkyuk's eyes pointed at you. He didn't trust you. Not fully. More so he didn't trust Sehun. "It's not really my place to say.

"You're right... sorry." The metal door opened, Eunkyuk stepping in first. At first you though Sehun would be behind the door, and sure he was, but he was also behind a set of bars. From what you could see through the gaps of the bars, he was sitting in the corner on an uncomfortable looking bed, eyes trained on an uneaten orange that he tossed in the air.

You gulped. "Don't you think this is a little much?" You asked. "I don't chose where he gets placed. If it were, he'd be dead." You just nodded at his harsh statement.

Unlocking the cell, you stepped in, turning on your heels to stare at the kind guard who escorted you. "Thank you for walking me down here. If you don't mind, I'll need privacy to speak with him."

Eunkyuk nodded, "I'll be outside if you need me."

As soon as Eunkyuk you felt somewhat less nervous. You didn't know how that made any sane, especially since you were supposed to feel safe and les nervous around trained guards. But now, Eunkyuk couldn't breathe down your neck about what you weren't supposed to do.

You needed to look in his eyes. He'd think something was up. You figured that much. Plus, you felt it was rude.

Taking a deep breathe, you turned around to face the supposed criminal who wasn't even paying you no mind; just continuing to toss the fruit in the air as if he wasn't the least bit curios as to who you were.

Eunkyuk informer you that you were the first psychologist to ever see Sehun, so he might be a little standoffish.

"Hello, I'm Y/n." Taking a seat on the cold metal chair situated in front of a metal table, you welcomed him with a warm smile; hoping he'd join you. "What's your name?" The ink colored haired man didn't answer at first, but when you opened your mouth to speak he proved he'd been paying attention the whole time.

He commented, "You already know it." He was right. You'd been informed his name as soon as you got here.

"Wouldn't it be better to introduce yourself?" You questioned, eyes trained on his lean figure.

His dark eyes rolled. "Why? When you already know my name." You shrugged, staring down at your finger nails, beginning to pick at the yellow polish. It wasn't due to nervousness — okay, maybe it was, it was a habit.

"I already know the name that goes with what the guards told me. Don't you want to tell your side?" His dark eyes flickered towards you, and his head nodded up. Finally, you could see his face, it was no longer cloaked in the dark. He was absolutely gorgeous. Like art in a museum, like a Greek God. With his capturing dark brown, almost black eyes, inky hair to match perfectly. His shoulders seemed broad from your seated position, and overall he just looked so attractive.

How had someone so handsome and good looking, ended up here? He looked like he should be on the cover of some fancy magazine with handsome and beautiful faces.

"I want to know more about you. I want to talk, but just know you can't trick me." His chuckle sent chills through your body, making your spine tingle. "That's what they all say." He whispered. "I'm different." You argued. Sehun scoffed, "You're no different than Xiajin or Jisoo."

Your eyebrows raised in confusion. Xiajin and Jisoo? You had never heard those names before.

Sitting quite uncomfortably in the somewhat chilly metal seat, you tried to think of who those people could be. They both sounded like female names, but who were they?

He picked up on your confusion, the orange dropping to his right on the thin mattress, moving to sit so he was looking at you.

"Are you not a guard?"

"No, I'm not."

"Great. So you're one of those mad scientist then." He snapped sarcastically.

"I'm not a scientist." You couldn't help but giggle at his completely off assumption. Showing him your badge clipped onto your shirt you said, "I'm a psychologist."

"Even worse." He scoffed. "I'm here to try to understand you." You mumbled gently, hoping not to say anything that would trigger him in any way.

"I don't need a therapist." Hissed your new, intriguing patient.

"Psychologist." You corrected. He eyed you with curiosity. "And maybe not, but it's part of my studies to learn about people like you; you're behavior."

"I didn't kill my sister if that's what you're getting at." Sehun's gaze casted down. "Sure, I've done things. We all have. But I would never do that."

He seemed so honest and pure about what he'd just said. After all, why would he lie now? He was already locked up. Something in you — maybe it was intuition or good guesses — but something in you knew when people were lying.

Looking up to catch his dark eyes you said, "Lets talk about that... If you don't mind."

"I've already told my story thousands of times to them. They don't care,"

"I care."

-

[PRESENT DAY]

He ended up telling you the whole store. His whole story, his family's, his life before and how he got here. At first, he was very sarcastic and seemed standoffish; like he had things on his chest but didn't necessarily want to speak on them. It was alright in your eyes though, you were here to force him to speak on things he might now want to; your job was to understand him to help better your studies.

As Sehun spoke, you learned that his sister had fallen into the lake at Sehun's parents house, and she drowned. He was there, but was on the phone and didn't hear a thing. By the time he'd gotten of of the phone, she was already gone. His arrest to say the least wasn't fair. Not one bit. They're weren't even witnesses. Sehun hadn't seen her fall in, or so he claimed, and the autopsy report came back and she had zero marks or abrasions on her body, meaning had could've of killed her because she had to of been held down.

His sisters name was Yoona, a girl he remembered who had pale skin and the darkest chocolate eyes, with the thickest black straight hair. A girl with so much joy, and then it's all be taken away from her when she slipped fell. Apparently, the criminal picked out his sisters name, he begged his parents to name his sibling who happened to be five years younger than him. He was supposed to look after the young girl, and he'd failed just once. That all it took was once.

He'd blame himself for the rest of his life. For not watching after her. For not seeing. For being so ignorant, although it wasn't intentional.

He was normal before his sister's passing. Just a normal boy, attending normal school. But months before Yoona's eath he found himself getting into trouble with some friends. They stole from a store, he'd been wrapped up in it, and ever since then he'd been stealing. He wasn't rich, but he didn't need to steal. He and Yoona has everything they ever needed, they had loving parents. He didn't come from a broken family. Stealing gave him adrenaline, made him feel cool. It was that rush of having something or doing something you knew you shouldn't. He likes the feeling. But after her death he'd changed into a person he didn't want to be.

Especially after his parents had shut him out, ashamed and scared of what he'd done; no matter how many times he pleaded that he hadn't done anything to Yoona.

At first he was someone who just wanted to talk to you. You understood him better than anyone. You actually wanted to listen to him. But that's where the romance manifested. You fell hard, fast, and first. Whereas it took Sehun a little longer. But he had fallen. Because you were someone who understood him, someone who he'd told just about everything too. The first girl he'd ever told personal things like that.

After being let out almost two years ago for good behavior, and the courts coming to the decision that since there weren't any witnesses and that Yoona didn't have any sort of marks or bruises on her body that implied she'd been held down or worse, they let him go free.

You could finally be together. And to be honest, you liked having a boyfriend who was seen or used to be seen and known as dangerous. It didn't give you a purpose, but it made you feel safe, like nobody could fuck with you. It was something different. Especially since he wasn't your patient anymore; it wouldn't be unprofessional or illegal. Something that wouldn't get you sent to jail.

Or so you thought. Because now you were a criminal on the run with an even worse criminal who used to be the main suspect in a murder investigate.

Looking back at it, you never realized how bad this way.

You've often teased Sehun that your life was much like the villains Harley and the Joker from the DC comics. But he always argued that your life together was much much more entertaining and far more different. He didn't care to evaluate on what he meant half the time, and he always said you'd figure out in due time.

And in due time, like he said, you learned the hard way.

[akitokihojo]

In Between: Chapter 3

Hello! Life’s still a mess, but thankfully I’m still on track! 

-----------------------

SVU Precinct

"What the hell do you mean I'm off the case?" Inuyasha barked, slamming his fist on the captain's desk, the nearby container of pens, markers, and highlighters spilling over onto the paper-littered, mahogany surface.

"Just what it sounds like, Inuyasha." Their assistant district attorney stated, arms crossed over her chest in a demeanor that said she wouldn't be budging from their decision.

"You can't be assigned a case that you're involved in. Things don't work that way, detective." Totosai added, hardly phased by the temper of the half demon.

"That's exactly why I should be working it! I've obviously met this guy, so don't you think I'd be the best one to track his ass down?"

"What if you're wrong? What if this is your Average Joe stalker?"

"Look at the damn evidence, Kagura!"

"Believe me, I have. There's hardly enough to prove that you've met this perp."

"Good thing you're not a detective." He sneered.

"All I see is a case that doesn't even belong to this department." She trudged on, gritting her teeth and rubbing her temples toward the end of her sentence.

"A case I'm fighting like hell to keep because you're involved, Inuyasha. It's a huge conflict of interest and if you get in the way, we could lose it." Inuyasha flinched, clenching his jaw. If SVU lost the case, the only way it'd fall back into their hands- if the Internal Affairs Board wasn't already involved- was if a sexual crime of any nature occurred. That was the downfall of the Special Victim's Unit; they worked with the extremes: sexual assault, rape, and child abuse of all forms. "It belongs to Sango and Hojo now. I expect you to stay out of it, and when necessary, your full cooperation. For instance, right now. Miroku's been called in. Go help them evaluate the situation and then butt out when they're done. And before you ask, yes I'm serious. I.A.B. catches wind, you can kiss whatever chances we have goodbye."

"This is fucking bullshit." He huffed as he headed out, the silver hair tied at the crown of his head whipping around with the velocity of his turn, slamming the door shut behind him. Sango and Hojo were staring at a large whiteboard they'd wheeled over to their area, pictures taped up and notes scrawled in chunks, not even filling half of the surface. The detectives casually leaned against a desk as they quietly spoke with the on-call team psychiatrist, appearing more interested than the half demon felt they should. Inuyasha rolled his eyes, not looking forward to the prodding the psych was no doubt about to do. As much as he should be willing to answer all of his questions, he also wanted a new case to suddenly pull him away, making it impossible for Miroku to intrude on his personal life. He was annoying as all hell. You'd give the guy a little, and he'd be able to see the exact traumas that fucked you up when you were thirteen. It was freaky, and no human should hold that sort of power.

Inuyasha approached slowly, sighing defeatedly when their eyes fell on him, Hojo's annoying smile causing the half demon to fight back a cringe.

"It's kind of hard to get into a stalker's mind when you don't even know who the guy is, don't you think?" Inuyasha asked, fully implying that the psychiatrist was brought in prematurely.

"Not at all," Miroku began, raising his eyebrows at the question. "You don't have to have the person present to gather their motif. Maybe finding the pattern beneath all of this will help us track him down."

"What pattern? He's hit her house twice."

"I think he's been to her house more than that, actually." He stated, pointing to the printed pictures of Kagome's bedroom taped to the board. Inuyasha stiffened at the thought, his eyes shooting to the perfectly made mattress that Miroku referenced. "Everything but the bed was destroyed. In fact, he made sure to put the bed together. It all seems very detail oriented. That, alone, tells us he's got an M.O.. One that involves watching and observing from the sidelines."

"Watching and observ- are you kidding me? Miroku, he's a stalker!"

"Oh contraire, my friend. He knew what he was doing. This guy is patient. He's been taking photos for months now out of view, and he wasn't just doing that as a hobby. He was gathering the information he needed."

"Where, exactly, are you going with this?" Sango questioned.

"From what we can see of the state of Kagome's apartment, he wasn't exploring like someone who was purely interested in only her and her lifestyle; he wasn't trying to slowly crawl his way under her skin to quote-unquote connect with her. This was someone who was trying to make a statement. Yes, stalking is a major factor in all of this, but it's too superficial. This guy isn't a stalker at all. He's a master manipulator who likes the hunt."

The team was quiet, their mouths sealed shut as all of them stared back at Miroku with different levels of bemusement. It was a sign, albeit not a clear one but one he's learned to recognize, that they were just about on board with him. They just needed an extra push.

"Inuyasha, how many times has he been to your apartment?" Miroku continued, feeling confident in his theory.

"He hasn't. There's no way I could have missed a stench like his."

"Exactly. He knows you can smell him out. He knows you're a half demon and the more time he spends around you, the closer you'll come to finding him, so the drive isn't there. Yet. For the meantime, he can get away with targeting someone you care about. You'll catch his faint trail, but it won't lead you far because you'll be too busy taking care of Kagome. My guess is, this is bringing him a level of satisfaction no one can even begin to describe. I think he's been getting dangerously closer and closer to Kagome for a while now, and he's only allowing you to know now that he's got his method down and he's about to strike. He's ready to play this game because he recognizes that there's a very slim chance you'll be able to stop him in time."

"I hate to say it, but that makes a lot of sense." Sango looked from side-to-side at the two male detectives, exploring their expressions. Hojo was pondering, his blue eyes aimed at the floor while he tapped his knuckle to his lips. She knew her partner, and she knew her partner well. He wasn't convinced. Inuyasha didn't look the least bit pleased, as per usual. She couldn't tell if he agreed with Miroku's theory, or if he was just plain pissed that this was all happening in the first place. Most likely the latter.

"What about the bed? Something about it was a little too disconcerting, don't you think? What was the point of it?" Hojo asked.

"It's hard to say." Miroku's air of confidence slightly wilted away as his gaze drifted back to the board of pictures. "It most likely falls back within the lines of manipulation. When you see your house completely destroyed, what are the first feelings you get?"

"Fear, discomfort, unfamiliarity, anxiety, maybe anger." Sango listed, scooting her bottom over the ledge of her desk to sit, crossing her legs and bracing her hands on the edge of the wood.

"Lets go with the most common; fear and anxiety. He may be the kind of guy that enjoys inflating these emotions in his victims. By creating this scene, he's intensifying all of that. It's a bed she'll no longer feel comfortable sleeping in. He's touched it- tainted it, so to say. Made it appear welcoming while destroying every other aspect of her home. I think it'd be obvious that she'd rather lay in the mess than come close to her bed."

"All-in-all, discomfort, which is a simplified word for what she's feeling, is at an all time high." Hojo added as he caught on, rubbing the curve of his chin with his forefinger and thumb.

"Yes, exactly. He's violated every inch of her apartment, and he's essentially rubbing her nose in it. Not even her blankets can provide a sense of solace. If you think about it, this could be his way to get at Inuyasha, as well."

"How so?" Koga asked, walking up behind Inuyasha. He gave the half demon's shoulder a heavy pat, taking up his post beside him as if he'd been a part of the discussion the entire time.

"No one feels a bigger sense of helplessness than him." Miroku answered carefully, glancing at the hanyou. The muscles in his jaw were adamant, flaring his temples as he cocked and bit his jaw down. He seemed to be holding himself in place, his entire body rigid, ember eyes flickering around in annoyance, heavily avoiding all eye contact. It was difficult to determine if he had checked out, or if everything had processed perfectly clear. Still, he'd fully expected the half demon to blow up by now with loud proclamations of how nothing would ever happen to his friend with him around and how he'll catch whomever this is before he can get to her. The heated expression he was wearing was something Miroku had come to know very well from his years of helping the team solve detailed and riveting crimes, but everything else was slightly out of character for Inuyasha. Even if he was just holding himself together to follow orders, he couldn't help but be at least a little surprised the Inuyasha hadn't stormed away from his recent comment.

"So the creep knows how to fuck with their victims' head." Koga nodded, successfully increasing the undeniable tension swelling around the group.

"I'm not a victim." Inuyasha stated through gritted teeth.

"Now's not the time to be prideful." Hojo chided.

"I may be getting ahead of myself," Miroku spoke, redirecting the conversation back to where it belonged. "But given the circumstances, I highly believe, and agree, you've come face-to-face with our perp before. We can look back into old cases similar to this to discover his underlying M.O.. If we find him quick enough, we may be able to figure out his next move."

"What if he's not in the system?" Sango asked skeptically.

"Then we may be wasting time, but we have to start somewhere."

"According to you, we don't have time to waste!" Inuyasha shot, glaring incredulously at the know-it-all in front of them, his temper teetering dangerously on the edge. "He's getting closer and closer, and we're running on guesses!"

"You, yourself, suggested he knows you. We have nowhere else to begin, Inuyasha, so why don't we go with our gut?" Miroku responded sternly. The half demon preferred to be in charge and, at this point, just about everything was out of his hands. The more time they spent talking, the more frustrated and antsy he was bound to get. It didn't take a psychiatrist to figure that much out. Inuyasha wasn't the stoic, mysterious person that he tried so hard to be. He was as easy to read as a children's book. He was a hot-tempered, fast-paced, stubborn guy that too often bit off more than he could chew.

"Anything ringing a bell that can give us an idea where to dive in?" Hojo asked from his corner of the group. Inuyasha shook his head, inhaling deeply to quell the building flames in his abdomen.

"Nothing recent, that's for sure."

"Alright, well we'll get to it. Try to keep yourself busy in the mean time." Sango hopped down from the desk, leading her partner down the hall to Totosai's office to discuss their current plan of action.

It was hard to tear his eyes away from the photos taped to the whiteboard, and even harder not to rip them down. It pissed him off that someone brought Kagome into the mix just to get to him. There were too many pre-existing, conflicting emotions involving her in the first place, and the fact that this bastard decided to reopen that door just to antagonize him had him rightfully furious. Looking at the evidence, feeling powerless when it came to her wellbeing, and annoyingly dumbstruck as to who could possibly be behind all of this made the anger so much fucking worse.

Just who the hell had he managed to tick off this time around?

"Have you considered taking some time off?" Miroku asked, stepping in Inuyasha's line of sight, intentionally blocking him from the snapshots. Koga moved closer, as if silently suggesting he supported the thought.

"No. What the hell would that solve?" He crossed his arms to harden his stature, regretting the motion. Surely, the doc would read that as him guarding himself or some other equally pathetic evaluation.

"Maybe there's something you'd be better off doing at home as opposed to sitting here growing frustrated with a case you can't touch."

"I'm better off here." Inuyasha said resolutely, giving a final, deadpan stare and walking away, semi-effectively ending the conversation. Miroku, being smart with his fancy, expensive degree, got the hint. He'd caught the slight shrug from Miroku's shoulders in his peripheral vision before he headed to Totosai's office, joining Sango and Hojo. Unfortunately, it took stronger hints to get through to Koga, the wolf demon following close behind Inuyasha on his way to his station.

"Yeah? On desk duty?"

"I need to be here in case anything happens. Psych boy can't probe my brain if I'm sitting on my ass at home. The more accessible I am, the higher chances we have at getting this shit handled as quick as possible."

"Alright, I can get that. That's actually pretty smart of you, but I know that's not the real reason behind it."

"Oh, yeah? You gain some mind reading powers recently?"

"Please," Koga grunted, rolling his blue eyes over dramatically. "I've been your partner for too long not to know the basics about you. If you were at home, there'd be nothing to keep you busy and you'd end up obsessing over the case. You'd grow restless and then begin to conduct your own investigation, which would not fly under the radar because you don't know the definition of subtlety. Thankfully, and surprisingly, you're intelligent enough not to risk the consequences given the circumstances of involvement."

"Hey, you'd be in the same fucking position if Ayame was in danger!" Inuyasha growled, infuriated by Koga's nonchalance.

"You're not wrong. I'd want answers just as much as you do and it would piss me off when I couldn't play a hand in getting them, but I'm at least bright enough to see the blessing in disguise here."

Inuyasha groaned, pushing papers and files around his desk to make it look like he was suddenly busy, hoping it would be enough incentive to send is partner away. "Not everyone can be as infuriatingly optimistic as you, wolf."

"Jesus Chris, has anyone told you how stupid you are, dog breath?"

"What-"

"You can actually protect Kagome now! If this were your assignment, you'd constantly be up shit creek for ignoring protocol and personally seeing to Kagome's safety! Kagura and Totosai are trying to prevent Internal Affairs from getting involved, which is a pretty big fucking deal!" His partner slammed the drawer shut, nearly catching Inuyasha's fingers and grabbing the attention of the entire office. "At the same time, they're doing you a favor. Now you can legally step in; you don't need backup with you twenty four-seven to cock block. You can do whatever the fuck you want that doesn't involve touching your case. It's obvious you'll be kept up to speed on it. You'll know one way or the other what's going on at all times. No one here is against you! Why the hell is this so hard for you to understand?"

"Shut up! You don't see the bind I'm in right now! I can't help my own investigation unless called on, and I can't play bodyguard to someone who doesn't want anything to do with me. It's a fucking lose-lose. Don't act like you haven't noticed." Inuyasha seethed, reeling his voice in but keeping the growl evident.

"Oh, I've noticed." Koga's voice came off rough, deep, hardly hiding the hint of amusement behind it. "How about you use this new-found free time to handle your shit?"

"How about you learn how to mind your fucking business? She told me the other night she doesn't want my help!"

"First of all, when has that ever stopped you? You're the most persistent guy I know. Second, here's an idea, and it's wild so bear with me: fix it!"

Inuyasha groaned, rolling his eyes. He makes it sound so fucking easy.

"Say you're sorry."

"Butt out. Don't act like you know what happened."

"Alright, so tell me."

"No."

"Seriously, own up. What did you do?"

"Back off!"

"What'd you do, mutt face?"

"What the fuck is your-"

"What'd you..." Koga paused, his mouth still agape, his eyes slowly widening as some sort of belated epiphany hit him. Finally, an exasperated laugh left his lips, making him come off more crazy than annoying for once. "Wait, woah, wait. I knew I remembered her name from somewhere. A few months ago you were stressed and angry and all kinds of mopey. You kept checking your phone, and I remember seeing her name one time when I peeked over. I can't believe I'm just piecing this together now!"

"Koga!" Inuyasha growled dangerously.

"Man, I remember that like it was yesterday! I've never seen you come so close to puppy eyes in my damn life! You were the epitome of pathetic! There's no way you were only friends with benefits!"

Inuyasha stood up straight, facing Koga and stepping in to size up, his shoulders squaring as he hardened his stance while the wolf demon made no moves away, their height only separated by an inch, though Koga's demeanor made him seem a whole foot taller. The cocky fucker even wore a sly grin on his face.

Then the curve of his lips faded away, landing in a placid, flat line, all traces of amusement vanishing just as quickly as they'd arisen. Koga mirrored the half demon's determined glare, speaking in a low, gruff tone that would only bite at Inuyasha's sensitive ears. "You want to protect her, then do it. You want to be with her, then fix it. You want to get this guy, cooperate. Don't act like the sky is falling and you're the only one the pieces are landing on. You're a fucking detective. You solve problems for a living. If you're going to be high-strung in the office, expect everyone to give you a hard time. All it's telling us is you can't handle the stress, and you've got no business here. If you don't want to be with Kagome, hey, that's cool too. There's one less thing you've gotta do. You've got options. You've got a brain. Utilize it and trust us for once."

The Coffee Shop

Kagome stared down at the letter envelope placed nicely before her on the small, square table, following the path of the pale, calloused fingers that pushed it her way, over the thin-skinned, veiny hand hovering just above it, up the sleeved arm and over the broad shoulder, her perturbed gaze connecting with the slanted, violet eyes of a man. He smiled as if they were old friends meeting up in the cafe after arranging the plans weeks in advanced. As Kagome opened her mouth to say something, he raised his brows and cocked his head, cutting her off before her voice could slip.

"Let's not cause a scene." The man pulled out the chair opposite Kagome, sitting down and scooting forward, propping his chin up as he slid the envelope closer with his free hand. "That's for you. I suggest a smile. Don't want to tip anyone off, do we?"

Kagome had stiffened, justifiably both confused and uncomfortable, her brown eyes shifting to the side to see if anyone was looking. Not a single soul in the cafe was paying them any mind, bodies bustling around in the busy rush of the morning. Still, Kagome complied, giving a wane smile as she revisited the man's fierce stare.

"Do I know you?" She asked, taking the envelope from his fingers and picking it up, palpating the paper to feel the contents within. It was hard to determine exactly what she held, but it definitely wasn't a love letter.

"No, but I know you." His smile never faltered, his pale cheeks turning a dull shade of pink from his pinching smile, amusement shining through.

"I'm gonna take a wild stab in the dark and guess that you're not about to tell me who you are." Kagome grimaced, unable to keep up the facade. Her heart was pounding with the amount of nerves building up in her chest at an alarming rate. Obviously he was a threat with the way he told her not to "tip" anyone off by looking anything other than pleased, which was enough to instantaneously spike her fight or flight, the latter looking to be more satisfying. Kagome willed herself to calm as much as possible, telling herself that reacting negatively would only make matters worse. This had something to do with her stalker case, she was positive about that much. What she wasn't sure about was whether she was sitting a mere foot away from the culprit, himself, or if this was his errand boy.

"You're good at this." He chuckled. "He didn't tell me you were so smart."

Errand boy.

"That's probably because he doesn't know anything about me other than what he's seen in the pictures he takes. And these are..." Kagome waved the envelope around by the side, the weight of its contents bending the paper back and forth.

"Your guess is as good as mine." He shrugged, seemingly even more amused than before. He leaned back a bit, too comfortable for her liking, his stark black ponytail resting over his shoulder before he flicked it behind. "I also wouldn't get too confident with that theory. From what I've heard, he knows you pretty well, and your friend even better."

Kagome swallowed hard, looking from the envelope to the man before her and back down to the envelope, decidedly sliding it back his way along the table. "I don't want it."

"Not my problem." He said, sliding them back to her. "I did my job."

"You know, you're pretty ballsy to approach me this way in public."

"Yeah, yeah." His lips actually twitched downward for the first time since he'd invited himself over, rolling his violet eyes as he leaned forward and propped his forearms on the table, his shoulders sinking minutely. "You gotta do what you gotta do. I don't think you're dumb enough to make a scene right now, because who knows what'll happen if you do, and by the time you tell the police I'll be long gone. What harm will some over-pixelated security camera footage do compared to the lunatic watching my every move?"

"You don't have to do his bidding. You could turn him into the police right now and-"

"What? Your little detective friend will keep me safe?" The smile returned. "Because you're so safe right now?" The man laughed, intensifying the sickening feeling in the pit of Kagome's abdomen.

"I'm not afraid of him, Kagome. I'm not the one that needs saving." He continued, cocking a brow at her as he studied her pinning expression, leaning further over the small table. She was trying to make it illegible, stone cold, hoping her eyes would somehow fog over so he couldn't get anything off of her, but by the taunting grin he wore, she could tell it wasn't holding up. "You're afraid, though. Aren't you? The dark circles beneath your eyes tell me you haven't been sleeping very well. I don't think it's all that fair that you're suffering alone like this. You know who I think should be even more afraid than you are?"

The man rose from his seat, readjusting the hoody over his shoulders just as a barista called Kagome's name to let her know her coffee was finally ready. He looked to the counter where the sleeved, to-go cup waited, then back to her, flashing one last unwelcome, thin-lipped smile. "Inuyasha."

Before she could gather her wits, before she could find her voice and ask what he meant, the man walked away, the slightest hint of flamboyancy in his step. The notion yanked at Kagome's insides, twisting and pulling, a clammy sweat dotting her hairline as she processed everything. While it was recently discovered that he was more involved than she'd initially presumed, she still didn't know to what degree. Was it a game, or was this guy solely out to destroy Inuyasha's life?

And here she was making matters worse by acting out, being selfish, only concerned about herself and what she was going through, making sure to push the ill feelings toward the photos of Inuyasha to the back of her mind while she tried over and over to justify the way she reacted the last time she saw him- no matter how awful she felt for it. How could she claim she hated seeing him on the receiving end of this and then actively shut him out? Where had her compassion gone? No matter what took place between she and Inuyasha in the past, it didn't change the fact that they were being hunted down by someone. The both of them. Together. Yet, when it came down to it, when the opportunity was presented for them to help each other, she turned him away without a second thought. She wanted nothing to do with him when all he wanted to do was ensure her wellbeing.

Inuyasha wasn't just the victim of this ongoing, slow burn attack. He was the victim of her stupid, wounded pride and the onslaught of malicious feelings she refused to control.

Even after the events that ended whatever unspoken relationship they had, Kagome could admit Inuyasha deserved better.

She sat and waited, watching the man make his way through the unknowing crowd and exit the double glass doors without looking back at her, taking most of the dense air he'd suffocated her with along with him. Then she forced herself to move, her muscles feeling as unsteady as they would after a rigorous workout. She stood from the wooden chair, hesitantly taking the envelope with her, gently pushing through the crowd around the pickup counter and snagging the large cup with her name on it. To be honest, she didn't even want it anymore, but she knew that if this was the way her day was starting off, it was best to get as much caffeine in her system as soon as possible.

Even though she'd shoved the envelope deep into the confinements of her purse, she could practically feel it burning a hole through the cheap material, heat seeping through her jeans and irritating the skin beneath. Her fingers itched to get it opened and over with, to see what sort of snapshots she'd been rewarded this time around, but there hadn't been a good opportunity just yet. Kagome was standing at the entry of her classroom, holding the door open as her students filed in, having barely made it to work on time. Her purse still dangled over her shoulder, coffee in one hand while the other hand was held out to give high-fives to the children on their way inside.

"Hey, are you okay? You seem a little out of it." Her teaching assistant asked as Kagome shut the door.

"Yeah." She quickly dismissed, waving to push the notion aside. "I've just had a hectic morning. Would you mind leading their warmups while I get a few things situated?"

Ayumi agreed with a happy nod, pulling the talkative kids' attention her way to gather around the circular area rug as they finished shoving their belongings into their respective cubbies at the back of the room. Kagome left her to it, parking in the seat behind her desk and fishing the envelope out of her purse, using her nail to peel up the corner of the glued flap before shoving her finger through to rip the top open. She was eager to get this done, eager to see how much messier things were about to get, and then baffled when she saw the contents weren't even remotely close to what she was expecting. She flicked through the multi-colored polaroids without fully taking them out of the envelope. None of the pictured women and children looked familiar in the least. The photos seemed aged, naturally discolored, and the people in the images dressed in out-dated fashions. Every single one of them were candid and taken from a close distance, an occasional shoulder getting in the path of a clear shot. She guessed these were from the late eighties to mid nineties by the way the women presented feathered or crimped their hair, flared out the ends of their bob cuts, or purposely kept thin strands free to frame the sides of their face from the tiny butterfly clips decorating the tops of their head.

But why did she receive these? Was it a coded message of some sort? She flipped through the photos again, checking the backs of each one to see if anything was written. Nothing.

Great.

It had to be a clue. A clue meant for the police, because obviously she was going to hand it over. This guy was having so much fun playing his sick, maniacal game that he was even willingly giving information to S.V.U. to help them out, using as many messengers as necessary in between. It seemed Kagome was officially a messenger.

Although it was only a theory, it was the only thing that made sense. Why else would she be handed pictures of total strangers from over a decade ago? It could be a sign that they'd gone through the same thing she and Inuyasha are currently dealing with. Maybe even worse considering children were involved. Or, it could be something to completely derail them. Either way, she needed to show these to Inuyasha and the others. She needed to tell them she was approached by a lackey and give them the description she'd been repeating in her head to make sure no details were forgotten. She needed to get through the day with the best smile she could conjure up, get her work done, then make her way down to the police department, animosity with the half demon be damned.

No one would be able to tell where her head was if she had it her way. She could handle this. This was the hand she'd been dealt, so she had no other choice. Her life may have been turned upside down, but Kagome wasn't about to allow it to fall apart.

She waved to the few students that shouted goodbye as the last of the parents showed up to retrieve their children, traveling out of the open gate after locking up her classroom, and heading the exact opposite direction from where she lived. She kept her head down, hoping her thick, wavy hair was enough to hide her face from any curious photographers, camera clicks practically echoing in her ears. Kagome had to remind herself it was all in her head. She was being paranoid. She was under a ton of stress, so feeling this way was to be expected. She'd seen enough Law & Order to learn a thing or two, and no matter what kind of level head she attempted to maintain, she was no exception to the side affects of victimization.

The front of the building was busy as she walked up the front steps, slowly hopping up a few before standing aside and waiting for a policeman escorting a handcuffed, half-dressed woman by the arm to pass through the doors before following through, herself, quickly scouting out the directory to find which floor the Special Victim's Unit was on.

Third.

She jumped in an elevator, squeezing in with four more people and pressing the button to her destination, politely ducking out as the ding indicated they'd arrived. She wasn't nervous about reporting what had happened; she was eager to do anything that could help end the madness sooner rather than later. Yet, being in the hallway just outside their propped, double doors, getting closer and closer to entering with each step made her feel unbelievably anxious. Suddenly she wasn't so sure she could go inside or not. It was only a few days ago that she'd told Inuyasha to leave; that she didn't want, nor need, any help from him. Now, here she was, dragging her cheap boots through the halls of his domain, semi-ready to give a brief, in-person statement so that he would help her. It was that annoying pull talking again, the one that always wanted to see Inuyasha, creating an arena for her conflicting emotions to battle it out in.

The worst part of it all was she didn't know what to expect once she made it through the doorway. Was he going to blow her off? Jump up to see if she was okay? Light up like he always used to? Touch her like she found herself craving so badly in the middle of her sleepless nights? Good lord, she was being ridiculous. Eye-roll worthy, even for herself. What right did she have to feel this way? What right did she have to hold a grudge on him in the first place, and then throw it all in his face when he was trying to help? This wasn't her. She had the prerogative to be upset about everything taking place, even what he'd done to her all those months ago, but she was usually capable of handling things in a more mature manner; "usually" being the keyword.

To say she was a mess was an understatement. Kagome was a walking drawing done by a toddler, lines and scribbles decorating a page, dancing all over the place but the ends never meet to join.

This wasn't the ideal predicament to reconnect with someone, anyone would agree. Nor did she particularly want to reconnect. At first. The more she regretted her blow out, which increased by the hour since that night, the more she found herself wanting to work on things. Maybe it was just the sense of vulnerability that was getting to her. Maybe she felt isolated, and it was wilting her defenses. Or maybe she'd just come to her senses and understood that they didn't have to be friends, but they could reasonably work with one another until they got this pervert off the streets and behind bars. Whatever the case, she acted like an ass and she'd have to make it right. Or as right as possible at this point in time.

Her chocolate eyes wandered over the large, busy room, searching for the familiar head of silver hair that always gave him away, disappointed when he wasn't in plain sight. Her stomach was doing baby flips inside of her abdomen, light but still enough to make her feel unsettled. She thought maybe if she saw his reaction to her showing up, any reaction at all, she'd be able to gauge the damage she'd done.

She'd been having a long, dramatic, troubling battle with herself over the past few days about whether he actually deserved an apology or not. She was stressed beyond belief, but she never found that to be a good excuse to treat someone poorly. He'd hurt her, yes, but that still doesn't make it acceptable to react the way she had been. They were best friends before she'd kissed him. They were inseparable before Kagome fell hopelessly in love. Then things went to hell and it was over. Even though she'd cut off contact with him, he never used it against her or budged from her case. He did more than he was required to do; checking in one time with a coffee, rushing over when she called in the middle of the night, offering to help her get her home back together or even guard her as she slept. As unnecessary as it all was, it was still nice and mildly comforting.

He deserved it. He deserved better. She was being a brat.

"Hi, excuse me." Kagome stopped a young man in uniform, holding her hand out to gently touch his upper arm and grab his attention, but changed her mind last minute and flinched her fingers back just as he faced her. He gave a small smile, the dimples in his cheeks sinking inward. "I'm looking for Inuyasha. He's a detective here, I think."

"He's out at the moment. Is there something I can help you with, ma'am?"

"Oh. I just needed to talk to-"

"Miss Higurashi? Is something the matter?" Kagome couldn't help the slight jump her muscles gave, turning to see Hojo walking over to join at the officer's side. He wore a kind smile, almost charming enough to be reassuring, his blue eyes dulled by shadow and coming off as a calming grey.

"Not really. Well yes, but it's not all that urgent."

"What happened?" Hojo reached out, giving a firm squeeze to the edge of her shoulder. The entire time she'd had it in her head that Inuyasha would be the one handling whatever information she had, given the circumstances and their connection. As pathetic as it felt, she wasn't mentally prepared to speak to anyone else. If he wasn't even in the building, though, it wouldn't be practical to sit on it. She had pictures in her bag, a possible piece to the puzzle if she were thinking positively, and just a small moment ago she thought she was perfectly fine speaking about it. Of course, that was under the pretense that she knew who she was speaking to. Now all she felt was hot and nauseous and discombobulated.

"I, uh..." Kagome paused, willing the words to the surface of her tongue. "I met someone working for my stalker this morning. Our stalker. When do you think Inuyasha will be back?"

Hojo's eyes grew a little darker with the slight shift his head gave, his lips sinking downward into a serious mode she didn't imagine he had.

"I'm not sure. Come on over to my desk, Miss Higurashi. Let's talk."

"B-but shouldn't we wait for him? He needs to know this too, doesn't he?" She was nervous. More than nervous, but she didn't quite know what the emotion was called. Her palms were beginning to sweat, and she was trying to distract herself from the uprising, tingling agitation in her chest by chewing on her bottom lip. She thought she'd be in her comfort zone with someone she knew. Now she was about to give this information to someone she'd only spoken to on one occasion, and this entire situation was too foreign to make sense anymore. She just wanted one source of familiarity so that she could gather herself. Even if he was mad at her, it didn't matter. She just needed Inuyasha in the room. He could sit on the far side and mope for all she cared. So long as he was there, she'd be okay.

"I'm sorry, I thought he would have told you... he's not on the case anymore."

"Oh." Kagome hoped the surprise wasn't evident on her face. "Why not?"

Hojo hesitated, his mouth opening to respond, the corners twitching upward as he thought of something to say. "I probably shouldn't be the one to say. What I can tell you, though, is it's been reassigned to Detective Sango and I. We'll take care of you, Kagome. I promise."

He left the case. It was like a bucket of ice water had been dumped on her, shocking her heated nervous system. Inuyasha up and left her case. Apparently, when she said she didn't want his help he took it to heart. He'd taken himself out of the equation entirely, leaving her, their, situation to his coworkers. Maybe this was what she deserved, but she couldn't stifle how abandoned she was left feeling.

"Would you like something to drink? Coffee? Hot cocoa? Water?" Hojo led her to his desk at the far end of the large office, rolling a free chair over for her to sit in at the side.

"N-no thanks." Kagome shook her head, slowly squatting into the padded seat he offered, trying to fend off the emotions that, as of right now, were completely irrelevant.

"Miss Higurashi, I don't want you to be afraid to talk to me. I'm here to help just as much as Inuyasha would be. Even more so, considering the circumstances." He said, taking his own seat and scooting an inch closer, pen and notepad already at his fingertips. He may have been trying to make her feel better, but wow, salt in the wound. Kagome ignored the jab, knowing that the detective meant well, and willed herself to work with Hojo just as she'd decided to do with Inuyasha. "So you think you met someone in acquaintance with your stalker? What do you mean by that?"

"Someone approached me while I was waiting for my coffee this morning. The way he talked made it pretty clear he was an employee."

"How so?" He asked, looking over as Sango silently joined them. She smiled at Kagome, gesturing for her to go on as she leaned against the desk on the other side of Hojo.

"He kept referring to another man, saying things like, "He never told me you were so smart." and, "...He knows you pretty well, and your friend even better." He said his job was to deliver an envelope, and that was it."

"Okay," Hojo scribbled some words on the small paper of his notepad. "Start from the beginning. What happened?"

"I was sitting off to the side while I waited for my coffee, and he comes over, slides me an envelope, and tells me to smile so no one would grow suspicious."

"Where do you get your coffee from?"

"A place called The Coffee Shop. Unoriginal but close to home."

"I've heard of it. He never gave you a name?"

"No. Nothing. Not his name or his boss's."

"What was in the envelope?"

"Oh!" Kagome reached for the small pouch still slung over her shoulder, shifting it to sit on her thighs as she opened the zipper and pulled out the creased paper, handing it to the detectives before her. "Here. There's pictures inside. At this point, I really didn't expect anything different."

Hojo opened the top of the torn flap, pulling out the small polaroids and sifting through, his brows twitching together, but not deep enough to create any wrinkles. Sango leaned in, taking the pictures Hojo was finished with and looking them over, her brown eyes scouting over the photos in the same manner Kagome imagined she looked when she'd received them.

"Do you know these people?" Sango asked, struggling to peel her sight away from the photographs.

Kagome shook her head in response, her shoulders raising in a small shrug but never lowering as the tension held her still. "My only hope is it's a hint of some sort?" The unsurety of her words rang through.

"You let us worry about that." Hojo said reassuringly, handing the remainder of the pictures over to his partner and grabbing his pen once more. "Would you mind telling me what he looked like?"

"He was... pale." She breathed, willing her body to relax a little. This was what she'd rehearsed all morning and afternoon. "Violet eyes. Pointed ears. Long, black hair pulled back in a ponytail. He smiled a lot, like he thought the whole thing was funny."

"What was he wearing?"

"Jeans. Black jeans, I think. He had on a plain, grey shirt with a navy hoodie over it."

"And have you ever seen this man before?" Sango asked, cocking her head to the side, the bangs that framed her temples shifting off her skin but keeping their blowdried curve.

"No. At least, I didn't recognize him."

"Did anything he say stand out?"

"It all stood out to me." Kagome admitted. "I remember our entire conversation. He called whoever he's working for a lunatic, taunted me a little, and said Inuyasha should be even more afraid than I am."

Both of the detectives' faces contorted in dismay, but before they could say anything, Kagome continued. She could feel herself slowly beginning to crumble under the weight that had been piling on over the weeks, her chin quivering from trying to keep the evident frown on her face under control. "I don't know what he meant, and he left before I could ask. You know, things were bad enough when there was one guy following us around, but now he's got people running his errands for him. I'm constantly looking over my shoulder, but for who? I know this guy's face, but he could always employ someone completely different next time around. Or maybe even do some of the work, himself, and I wouldn't even know." She paused, trying to gather herself, looking back and forth between Sango and Hojo, trying to find an ounce of the strength she would have seen had she been looking in the hanyou's ember eyes. When she couldn't, when she realized she was reaching for something unfeasible to attain, she felt her aggravation flair. "I don't understand what's going on, and I'm sick of not knowing! Do you have anything new to tell me? Anything at all? Have I done something to attract someone's attention? Is Inuyasha involved because of me? What reason does he have to be more afraid? What did I do!?" There it was. Her breaking point was in her line of vision, not too much further ahead. For so long she'd been trying to rationalize with herself, and she finally realized that was impossible to do when nothing made sense; when the puzzle had too many pieces and everything was quickly becoming more and more complex.

"No, Kagome," Sango was quick to cross from the other side of Hojo, kneeling in front of her as if to meet her at eye-level, her warm hands firmly grasping her arms just above the elbows. "Listen, it is normal for victims to blame themselves, but the reality of it is this is no one's fault but the perp's. He's targeting you and Inuyasha for reasons that are his own and his own alone. While we don't have answers yet, we're gonna figure this out? The both of you will be just fine."

Reluctantly, Kagome nodded in acknowledgment, not fully convinced but still unexpectedly comforted by how much Sango seemed to believe her own words.

"You think Inuyasha would allow anyone to come at him without giving it back ten fold?" Hojo half-joked, leaning against his desk, one shoulder raising higher than the other with his posture. He had a point. She shook her head in response.

"Is there anything else we should know?"

"No." Kagome said, grabbing her bag and gently letting it hang as she rose to a stand so that the weight of it wouldn't jerk down on her shoulder. Sango followed her lead, releasing her hold as they grew taller. "Thank you, guys. Sorry about- uh... that."

"Don't worry about it." Sango disregarded with a wave. "We've seen worse. Can we give you a ride home?"

"Oh, no thanks." She declined, reeling herself back in and smiling delicately. "I don't live too far."

[mst3kproject]

1002: The Girl in Gold Boots

 Didn’t I just recently do a Ted V. Mikels movie as an Episode that Never Was?  Yes, I did.  That was the Corpse Grinders – I do actual episodes further in advance than the EtNWs, so it’s only been about a week since I watched it.  Do I want to see another Ted V. Mikels movie?  No, I don’t. Am I gonna do so anyway?  Yes, I am, because I hate myself.

Fish-lipped Michele wants to be a dancer – and an opportunity to do so (and to escape her abusive and drunken father) walks into her life in the form of Buzz, whose sister Joanie is the star attraction at a sleazy LA nightclub called the Haunted House.  After some misadventures that might be intended as comical but I really can’t tell, Michelle lands the job only to discover that the Haunted House is, of course, a Wretched Hive of Scum and Villainy.  The club owner is selling drugs, all the dancers are junkies, the janitor’s a draft-dodger, and the band sucks.

Girl in Gold Boots is to Ted V. Mikels what Beast of Yucca Flats was to Coleman Francis.  It’s a painfully bad movie that fails at almost everything, but it’s better than anything else he ever made.

The Astro-Zombies and The Corpse Grinders both began with apparently unrelated scenes and weird emphases that confused me far more than they intrigued me, and put me off the films that follow.  The opening of Girl in Gold Boots is nice and straightforward: Michele is dancing to the jukebox when Buzz comes into the diner where she works, and he offers to make her a star.  From there the story progresses in a very linear fashion, confirming our suspicions one by one.  Buzz comes across as deeply untrustworthy, and sure enough he turns out to be the second ickiest elf I’ve seen doing this blog (Elves wasn’t that long ago, either).  Critter the hitchhiker seems like there’s gotta be more to him than a wandering hairy beatnik, and yep, he’s on the run from the army.  The Haunted House looks like it’s gotta be a front for something and it’s exactly that.

This means that nothing in Girl in Gold Boots is surprising to us – we saw all this coming from miles away, but the movie works.  It tells a story that we understand, and the narrative never smacks us upside the head with anything so confusing or irrelevant that we stop and lose our place. That alone makes it better than anything else of Mikels’ that I’ve seen.

But man, it’s bad.  It looks and sounds terrible – the music is not among the worst ever to disgrace our ears as MSTies, but it’s not great.  The songs are okay while they’re actually playing but you forget them quickly. There are two different prints of the movie available, one of which has the weird skip in the footage which leads to Buzz teleporting back to the restaurant table – the other has similar skips in other places.  The dancing and singing sequences are repetitive and dull.

Worse than that, Girl in Gold Boots breaks one of the biggest storytelling commandments: Thou Shalt Show, Not Tell.  Other MST3K movies have done this, of course: Atlantic Rim told us about rather than showing us a ‘ship graveyard’.  Teenagers from Outer Space told us rather than showed us that there was a fleet of spaceships about to land.  Girl in Gold Boots does worse, because it tells us something that is directly contradicted by what we see.  We’re told over and over that Michele’s dancing is an extraordinary talent, when the self-evident truth is:

Actress Lesley McRay has some rhythm, but only barely.  She’s better than most of the dancers in MUZ but only because she moves around rather than standing in one place.  Mostly she just kind of sways back and forth and waves her arms languidly, like she’s at her first school dance and didn’t bring a date.  In a way this helps her fit right in, since almost none of the dancers at the Haunted House is any better.  They all appear to have been cast on the basis of having abs that would look good in a Sexy Baked Potato costume, actual talent secondary.

The closest thing to an accomplished dancer in the movie is Bara Byrnes, playing Joanie.  She’s still not great, but the second time we see her dance, she manages to walk a very fine line of showing us that her drug abuse is interfering with her work while not actually being melodramatic about it. We can believe she’s gotten to this point while still being allowed to dance, but she’s right on the brink, and it’s no surprise that her boss decides to replace her.

Does this story have a moral?  Sure does.  It’s give up on your dreams, they aren’t worth it.

No, seriously.  We’re following three main characters here: Michele is our primary protagonist, who dreams of stardom.  She finds that the price of doing so is mixing with criminals, with Joanie for an example of where this path will lead her, and so she gives it up.  Critter dreams of a peaceful, free-spirited lifestyle – the army is pretty much the exact opposite of that, but it is to the army he eventually goes. Buzz wants to be a wealthy drug dealer and have Michele all to himself, and that doesn’t work out for him, either.  In the end Michele and Critter accept their own mediocrity while Buzz and Joanie are destroyed by their refusal to do the same.

Maybe that analysis is too cynical.  Maybe this is actually supposed to be a story about avoiding shortcuts.  Everybody here wanted a shortcut to their dreams. Michele seizes upon a suspicious offer because she thinks it’s all she’ll ever get.  Critter runs away because he can’t stand the idea of soldiering (excuse me) through.  Buzz kills a man in his attempt to climb the ladder.  In each case, it’s this attempt at a shortcut that brings them down, ushering Michele into the world of drugs, forcing Critter to find a hole to hide in, etcetera.  Maybe in the end, Michele and Critter have learned not that their dreams aren’t worth it, but that there are no shortcuts – in order to get to the top, you have to climb the hill.

And yet that’s not what we see.  The ending scene, with the happy couple partying all alone on a beach, seems to suggest that this is it: Critter will go off to war and Michele will sit and wait for him while living off his soldier’s paycheques.  The idea of what they will do after his service is completed never comes up.  There is no hint that Michele will continue to pursue a career in dance through other avenues.  They both just settle for being average.

This is realistic, I guess… you guys have heard the story about how I wanted to be an archaeologist until I accidentally broke an ancient skull open with my trowel when I mistook it for a rock.  I’m happy enough in my current career, but that’s not what fiction is for.  If I’m watching a movie about somebody chasing a dream, I want to see it end with at least the hope of achieving it!

Maybe Michele has decided that dancing was just an excuse, and what she really wanted was to escape her father, but after she leaves the diner that is never mentioned again.  The father was just a plot device, something needed to make going with the obviously slimy Buzz seem like a good idea in comparison.

Respect for women is a fairly major motif in this movie, which raises a few eyebrows when the camera spends so much time looking down their bras and up their skirts.  The bad guys in this movie are the ones who treat women poorly.  Michele’s father shouts at and hits her.  Buzz manipulates her and drags her into a world of crime. The owner of the Haunted House drugs her and also abuses Joanie, his own girlfriend.  When Buzz is posing as an inmate his supposed crime is domestic violence.

We’re supposed to contrast this with Critter, who loves and respects Michele.  When he begs her to leave the club, she tells him that if he says he loves her, she’ll elope with him – but he refuses to do so because he has his own crimes to run from and doesn’t want her involved in those.  Michele should want to escape for her own sake, not for anybody else’s, and he would rather break her heart than get her in more trouble.  At the end, when he has joined the army after all, I think we’re supposed to assume that he did it so that she can be secure, rather than Tom Servo’s analysis that he’s learned he enjoys violence and is ready to kill like a man oughtta.

This is emphasized enough that I’m pretty sure it’s intentional, and while the sentiment is admirable, in a film like Girl in Gold Boots it reeks of hypocrisy.  We cannot respect Michele while also drooling over her in a fur-trimmed bikini.  Maybe we’re meant to view Michele giving up dancing as a form of self-respect, not letting herself be degraded anymore.  But what about the other dancers?  Does Joanie deserve to be treated as a sex object because she’s an addict?  We never get to know the backup dancers, but should we assume they’ve all committed similar sins?  As with Hollywood After Dark, the movie seems to suggest that virtuous women should be treated with respect, but sluts are deserving targets.  No.  That is not how it works.

I didn’t really remember this episode, so when I watched it again in preparation for this review, I was surprised by how funny it was.  The riffs are top-notch and the host sketches are pretty good, too – my favourite is the bit where Pearl starts just wailing on Brain Guy with the film canister while the guy from the Mad Science Certification Board nods approvingly.  Paul’s giggling really sells it.

[atlasuncomfy]

Straying the Beaten Path Ch. 02

Rating: Teen+

Chapter Warnings: None

Fandom: Hetalia Axis Powers

Summary: For almost fifteen hundred years, Romano Vargas has tried time and time again to prove to the world, and himself, that his existence was not a fluke. And, time and time again, it became increasingly clear that perhaps that is exactly all he is: a product of luck. So, when he gets a call from Germany that the Allies are after Feli, he decides to-once and for all-seize his fate.

Thank you to: Kip, SnowyWolff, cooler_than_a_vintage_cassette, OhGodItsAPerson, and @devintrinidad ! I’ve been sitting on this story for about five years now, and it means a lot to have gotten such amazing feedback now that it’s finally here and on the interwebs.  Thank you so much for your kind and helpful words!

The video below, which I recommend listening to, is a Million Reasons Cover by the talented Manuel B. Joy!

"On the whole our American outlook on Sicily and Sicilians has been so influenced by the idea of “Mafia” that we’ve created two separate identities for thinking about Italy. There’s the mainland full of art, wine, and romance, then there’s the island, which is a lawless land run by large men with dark mustaches and brimmed hats pulled low over their eyes...The beautiful thing is that in some ways you’re not wrong! While Sicily shouldn’t have the reputation of an island of infamous organized crime, it also shouldn’t be lumped together with the rest of Italy. The Sicilian identity is extremely important and it’s this pride that helps preserve the islands unique and varied culture" (Sicily Lifestyle).

In the eleven hundred and forty-three years Feliciano was alive to watch the sun rise and fall, he observed the myriad of signs for when a battle was well on its way—one of which included the scrambled packing of rations, not unlike what was unfolding right before his very eyes in this moment.  It wasn’t even a genuine question when Feliciano finally asked, “So, Arthur and his friends really have taken Sicily, then?  And they’re coming here, I take it?”  For a moment, Romano paused, just briefly enough to turn and properly face Feliciano.  At his brother’s questioning brow, the latter murmured, “Ludwig told me.”

Romano scoffed, returning to his packing.  “Right, of course he did.”

There was a moment of hesitation.  Then, Feliciano asked, “Lovino, are we going to run away?”

The Southern half paused again, sighing. “Not—well, no, not exactly.”

“I don’t understand, Lovi.  Even when wars got scary, we’ve always stayed and weathered it out.  Why aren’t we doing that now?”

Romano didn’t deign that with a response; without a word of warning, he tossed the heart-marked rucksack to Feliciano and shouldered past the younger man to the bedroom. Feliciano, unsure as ever, absently followed his brother’s lead.

Now, with the sun fully pouring into the windows, Feliciano could see the way the golden light created deep, weary shadows around his brother’s face.  Lines, no doubt carved by centuries of endless stress and worry, were clearly defined on the man’s face.  It was a sharp contrast from the younger man’s youthful, boyish features; there was little room to wonder if this was yet another byproduct of their different upbringings.  When Lovino looks like this, so much older than he really is, he looks so much like Grandpa Rome.

“It’s not up for debate,” Romano said, effectively dragging Feliciano from his thoughts.  The older man had taken to raiding the dresser drawers now, yanking out any irreplaceable items and necessities his bag had to spare. Feliciano joined him, albeit only as quickly as his addled brain would allow.  It wasn’t even noon yet, and his mind was still attempting to wade through the self-preservation and internal emotional toil, so his brother would just have to forgive him for any information he didn’t absorb right now.  

Swallowing the rare, sharp retort that was certainly prepared to launch off his tongue, Feliciano closed the drawer—not too gently—and moved on to the closet.

“As I’m sure you’ve heard from that potato bastard,” Romano continued, noting his brother’s irritation (not something anyone would want to cross) and taking on a calmer approach, “Sicily’s been invaded by the Allies.  It won’t be long before they show up here, so we need to get you out of here.”

“But, what about you, Lovino?” Feliciano asked, fretting.  “Sicily is your home, yes? You look so tired, fratellone, and you’re obviously hurting so much.  Is travel really a good idea right now?  Shouldn’t we at least wait until you’re feeling a little better?”

“Enough with the questions, Feliciano,” Romano snapped, waving a dismissive hand, no doubt feeling every bit of the exhaustion and pain catching up with him.  “Come on.  If you’ve got enough strength to pester me with questions, then you’ve got the strength to tackle this trip.”

Feliciano nodded—not quite reassured but somewhat appeased by his brother’s familiar mood for now—and moved to continue prepping for the journey. “I guess so,” Feliciano murmured.  The words weren’t intended to fall on his older brother’s ears, but of course the Southern Italian caught every syllable.

“Yeah, well,” he grumbled, “guessing’s for idiots who don’t know what they’re doing.  We, on the other hand, are not idiots and have a game plan.”

Feliciano, having decided he wasn’t entirely done questioning his brother, and knowing that the man did his best thinking when utterly vexed, humoured him. “Which is?”

As expected, Romano began to pace, suddenly thrown into a whirlwind of thought. “We go to Monaco,” he reasoned.  “Technically they’re a neutral space, so the Allies have no reason to go there, but the Monacans are Axis-leaning and will be on our side if those Ally bastards do show up.  Besides, it’s so close to Frances that they wouldn’t expect us to go there to begin with.  We’ll be safe there, right under their noses, and it’ll only take us three days to get there, so we’ll have an extra to stop and rest along the way.”

Felciano hummed, carefully turning over the new information. “Okay. Okay, yeah, that sounds like a good plan.”

For a moment, a blessed moment, silence fell upon the brothers, save for the occasional rustle of clothes or dull thump of something being placed in one of their rucksacks.  Finally, Romano fastened his rucksack closed and swung it onto his back. “Feli,” he said. “Fratellino mio, do you trust me?”

“Ve?” Feliciano’s attention snapped to Romano, confused by the sudden question. “Of course, I trust you, Lovi.  You’re my big brother!  If I can’t trust you, then I can’t trust anyone.”

“Alright then.”  Romano heaved an ever-weary sigh, running a hand through his dark hair.  “I’m so sorry, Vene,” he murmured, reaching out to cup his calloused hand around his younger brother’s cheek.  “I know this is a lot, okay?  But, I need you to be strong and do everything I tell you.  The whole point of this is to keep you safe, and I swear on our Nonnuccio’s grave that’s exactly what I’m going to do.  No matter what it takes, capisti?”  Feliciano nodded.  “So, if anything happens to me, you need to be prepared to leave me behind, okay?  I’m not taking no for an answer, either.  Promise me: if it comes to it, you will walk away from me.”

It’s happening again, Feliciano realized.  Centuries-old heartache and desperation slammed into him like an oncoming freight.  He swore he’d never let this happen again.  “What? No!  There’s no way I’d—”

“Will you just shut up and do what I say for once?” Romano roared, slapping a hand over Feliciano’s mouth.  “Ti vogghiu beni, capisti?  Do you think I’m not scared?  That I’d love nothing more than to just take off and run?  Read my lips: everything I am doing, I am doing because I’m trying to protect you.  That’s it, point-blank, period, paragraph, end of story! So, please…” Feliciano marveled, briefly, at the tears beginning to streak freely down his brother’s face. It didn’t escape him how Romano, for all his rage-infused bravado, was fighting for far more than just his brother’s safety, even if the man wouldn’t admit it for himself.

“I’m doing this for your sake.  I know it’s hard, but do not throw this chance away.”

Feliciano shook himself, forcing that memory back into the shadows of his mind with the rest.  Romano was—is—different than the others.  “I—I promise, Lovi,” he whispered.  “I’ll do what you say.”

Neither man said anything for a long time, searching each other’s eyes pleadingly for comfort.  Finally, Romano stood, tugging his little brother to his feet.  “Amuninni, fratellino,” he said, smiling sadly.  “We’ve got a lot of walking to do.”

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[wineanddinosaur]

VinePair Podcast: Do We Really Need More Celebrity Booze?

Celebrities have long been involved with the beverage alcohol industry, and the volume of celebrity brands continues to grow exponentially. On this episode of the “VinePair Podcast,” co-hosts Adam Teeter, Joanna Sciarrino, and Zach Geballe reflect on why celebrities get involved in the industry, and how their products resonate (or don’t) with the public.

For the Friday tasting, the three try out a popular celebrity wine — Snoop Dogg’s 19 Crimes Cali Red. Was it a celebrity wine worth buying again for the group? Tune in to find out.

Additionally, Teeter sits down with Sovereign Brands CEO Brett Berish for a conversation on his successful partnerships with celebrities like Jay-Z and Rick Ross. Berish talks about his approach to celebrity brand partnerships, why he doesn’t look at market research, and what it takes for a celebrity-backed product to find success.

Tune in, and learn more about Brett Berish’s Sovereign Brands at https://www.sovereignbrands.com/.

LISTEN ONLINE

Listen on Apple Podcasts

Listen on Spotify

OR CHECK OUT THE CONVERSATION HERE

Adam Teeter: From VinePair’s New York City headquarters, I’m Adam Teeter.

Joanna Sciarrino: I’m Joanna Sciarrino.

Zach Geballe: And in Seattle, Washington, I’m Zach Geballe.

A: As a very iconic singer would say, “It’s Friday, Friday, gotta get down on Friday.” Dude, what happened to Rebecca Black? Come on, Rebecca. Well, she’s on TikTok now. Anyway, she’s a celebrity, and what we’re going to talk about today is celebrities. We are going to talk about celebrity alcohol.

Celebrities have always been involved in alcohol, whether as spokespeople, whether as consumers, et cetera. Alcohol is a sexy space for celebrities to be a part of. They’re premium products. They’re lifestyle products. They’re fun. It feels like, in the last decade or even five years, the amount of celebrities getting involved in alcohol products has absolutely exploded. Some have been massively successful. Some have been massive failures where someone came out with it and then you never heard about it again. What do you both think about celebrity spirits, wines, and beers? If a celebrity is involved with something, are you more or less likely to consume it or try it?

J: I find it just so curious how it’s been such a recent development and how many there are. I don’t find it more appealing when a celebrity is attached to a brand. I probably actually feel the opposite, because I’m really suspicious of the quality of it. That’s my take. I think it’s so interesting how it’s evolved from celebrities being spokespeople for a brand to being involved and having a cut of it.

A: There are definitely different ways you can go about it. You can either be the spokesperson that makes it seem like you have a lot to do with the brand. Matthew McConaughey is a great example of that. He’s the creative director of Wild Turkey. Wild Turkey’s already owned by Campari, though. He may have a stake in it. I have no idea at this point. I think he has his own line, too, with Wild Turkey. That’s a little different than starting the brand yourself a la The Rock or Conor McGregor, who then sold to Proximo. I was going to use Ryan Reynolds as that example, and then a lot of people on our team have reminded me that Reynolds didn’t actually start the brand. He came onto the brand a few years in, but then they cut him in and made him an owner of the brand.

J: Is that still the case?

A: Diageo owns it now.

Z: They sold it.

A: It sold for, like, $700 million. Clooney started Casamigos. Zach, what do you think? Are you more or less likely to buy because there’s a celebrity attached?

Z: I think there are maybe a couple different genres of celebrity alcohol products. In wine, you think of Francis Ford Coppola or someone like that. On the one hand, they never hid who was behind the winery. His name is on the bottles. The cachet of the product is, in part, that it’s a wine nominally made, or at least owned, by a famous director. At the same time, you could look at the winery and say, “OK, presumably Coppola was really into wine and decided he wanted to have a winery.” He was not hesitant to put his name all over it, but like —

J: He actually was. He didn’t want his name on it.

Z: Oh, that’s true. You guys interviewed him. Somehow, marketing people were able to get him over that. You don’t have to dig to figure out what celebrity is behind that.

J: Exactly.

Z: Then, there are these other things that fit into this weird middle ground. That’s like McConaughey with Wild Turkey. Obviously, Wild Turkey existed long before Matthew McConaughey was born. What a creative director does is hard to say. But, there’s obviously something more than just an endorsement going on there. Then, there are also the run-of-the-mill endorsements.

I don’t know that I have an answer to your question, Adam, other than to say that as a buyer at a restaurant, we certainly had Aviation Gin and Wild Turkey. We didn’t have a lot of these other products that are so clearly branded with a celebrity imprimatur.

What is fascinating to me is this: You think about this especially with hip hop music. We went from name-checking luxury brands as a way to prove your status — like saying “I can buy a Cristal” — to name-checking a brand that you own or are heavily involved with. That’s a whole ‘nother level of flex. It’s like saying, “I can’t just buy a Cristal, I also have my own Champagne.”

That kind of cachet and the way that it motivates consumption is fascinating. Maybe people still think, “I’m going to buy Ace of Spades because that’s what Jay-Z drinks and I want to be like Jay-Z.” That money’s going to Jay-Z, you know? It’s a great move. It’s savvy. Why should Roederer, who dissed you, get that money for Cristal when you can get that money. That’s pretty brilliant if you’re an entrepreneur. What I want your guys is opinion on is, are we getting to a point now where there are so many celebrity products that they no longer stand out?

J: Yes. There are so many of them. There’s this ranking that Aaron Goldfarb did in Esquire of 63 of them. That’s a lot, and it’s not even all of them.

A: He only did spirits. He didn’t even touch Cameron Diaz’s clean wine. Vera Wang has a Prosecco. John Legend has a wine. There is a lot. What’s interesting with these brands is that the only way they’re successful is if the celebrity actually lives and breathes them and feels very committed. Then, the brands actually do grow. Where they grow is not on, but off premise. They become huge off premise. A lot of these brands are massive off-premise brands. It’s people who love MMA and Conor. He drinks his whiskey in every press conference. He’s talking about Proper Twelve all the time. So, when they watch an MMA fight, they drink Proper Twelve. They’re not going to the bar looking for it. At the bar, I would guess Proper Twelve has still had a very hard time unseating Jameson, which is basically its direct competitor.

Same with Teremana. A lot of people probably have Teremana at home. Ken Austin, who created both those brands with Dwayne and Conor, told us when we interviewed him a few months ago that his belief is that if you don’t live the brand and are not fully committed, that he doesn’t want to do it with you because it will fail. A lot of times, there’s the belief among a person’s team that, “We’ve done this with perfume. We’ve done this with other things. Why would this not work with alcohol?” Alcohol is such a different beast.

When I’ve talked to some of the top executives at Diageo, Campari, and others, they’ve all echoed this. The only successful partnerships they’re ever had are when the celebrity is fully invested. Cîroc was, and is, successful because Sean Combs has a piece of the brand, is very connected to the brand, and really controls how it shows up in public. People know his attachment to it is authentic. Same with Matthew McConaughey. It’s a very authentic connection to Wild Turkey. People don’t see him as just this paid spokesman who’s trying to trade on his name. They really, truly believe he loves that bourbon.

Z: That’s the difference. You have to believe that the celebrity drinks the thing that you’re buying. In the luxury realm, if someone has a sponsorship with Burberry and they wear Burberry a lot, it probably helps. But, no one expects that’s the only clothing they’ll ever wear.

With beverage alcohol, it has to be plausible that the celebrity would actually drink this stuff. You can’t fake that. People’s detectors are good enough on that kind of stuff, that a product that does not align with a celebrity’s public image in any way would have a really hard time.

A: I think that’s 100 percent on point. It’s why Kendall Jenner got so much crap when she released her tequila. Everyone thought, “Drinking 1942 doesn’t mean that you know how to make tequila.” That’s great that she loves that product. It’s a great product, but that doesn’t mean she should be making tequila. That doesn’t mean people should believe she has any connection to it and that she’s going to be someone people believe is passionate enough about this, that she’s going to make a great liquid, which she probably is not.

Z: There’s also this cultural appropriation element to it, too. It’s going to be much more pertinent with something like tequila than with gin, say.

I have one other question in this space for both of you: Do you think that this social media age that we’re in now is part of the reason why this works? Celebrities just have such incredible followings. These days, that following is so unfiltered. You can literally follow them on whatever social media platform. It gives them that direct access that must be like a slot machine going off in a beverage alcohol company’s brain. They don’t have to pay for placement in a magazine or on TV this way.

If the celebrity’s got a piece of it, they’ll want to post about it because it’s money in their pocket. They can live it through social media, which is the only way any of us ever access them anyhow, and it feels authentic. Ten years ago, no matter how passionate someone might have been about a product, it was going to be very hard. You had to play ball with publications to get that message out. It was uncertain whether you’d reach your audience. Now, you know you can reach your audience because your audience is hanging on your every post.

J: I don’t follow Cameron Diaz on Instagram, but I peeked at her Instagram recently. It was all Avaline. She lives it.

Z: On social media, at least.

A: Why don’t we listen to this interview I did with Brett Berish of Sovereign Brands. He’s created Ace of Spades, D’USSE, Luc Belaire, and a bunch of really amazing brands with a bunch of very famous people, including Jay-Z and Rick Ross.

CONVERSATION WITH BRETT BERISH, FOUNDER AND CEO OF SOVEREIGN BRANDS

A: I am super excited to be talking to Brett Berish, who is the founder and CEO of Sovereign Brands. Brett, thank you so much for joining me.

Brett Berish: Thanks, Adam. Happy to be on.

A: Can you give me a little bit of background on yourself and on Sovereign?

B: Yes. I grew up in the liquor industry.

A: Are we talking about being born into it?

B: Born into it, in different capacities. I like to think that we’re third generation. My grandparents on my mother’s side were distributors in Madison, Wis. My dad worked for the same liquor company for 45 years. I have three older brothers and what we all remember best about being christened into liquor was when we were in first grade. We walked to school with bottles in our hands to take them to teachers as gifts.

A: That’s amazing.

B: We were always around it. I grew up in this industry based on my father. That’s all he ever talked about. He has a true passion for it.

A: That’s awesome. You’ve created some pretty famous brands. I’d love it if we could chat about that and what made you start Sovereign. You started Ace of Spades, which a lot of people are very well aware of now, thanks to Jay-Z. There’s D’USSE, which is his Cognac. How did that happen? How did you start creating these brands and how did you do it with someone like Jay-Z?

B: I’m in the liquor and wine space, so that’s all I know. I’m a fan of music. I’m a fan of sports. I couldn’t do music. I couldn’t do sports. All the brands were created for the industry, though. It’s based on me and my team thinking, “Can we make a product better? Can we do better in the Champagne category? Can we do better in the rum category? Can we do better in the gin category?”

The basis of all the brands are based on that. How we then roll them out and put ourselves into lifestyle, that’s organic. If I use a brand, like our Bumbu rum, it’s the No. 1 rum in Canada. No one from my company, and I, have never been there. With Jay or anybody else, everything is organic for me. I don’t want to force brands into anybody’s hands. I’m the guy who wants to discover things, and I think consumers want to discover things.

A: How did you get into collaborating with artists? There’s so many brands that want to be able to do that. There’s not a lot of people who’ve really ever done it and done it to your level of success. Someone may have done one brand with an artist and the brand doesn’t work for one reason or another. I have to assume, prior to Ace of Spades, you had done other things. How did that come about?

B: It’s such a tough question to answer. If you think about it, there are so many celebrities that have had brands and wine and spirits is one space. For so many celebrities, it hasn’t worked. I think that I’m fortunate in that the brands we create, there’s a place for them. They should exist.

When we worked with Jay-Z, Rick Ross, Post Malone, or A Boogie, it’s not like I knew these people. There wasn’t a relationship that I had with them before the brands. The relationship exists because of the brands. They found them. They drank them. They pursued them. It was something they already saw. Rick Ross was the biggest fan of Belaire, but Belaire was out for two years before I ever met Rick.

A: Oh, wow. I didn’t realize that.

B: It’s that way with all the brands. Sometimes celebrities get involved. I used to say that Martha Stewart was a huge fan of Ace of Spades. She has nothing to do with the brand but she loved the brand. It almost takes on a whole persona, but that’s what you want. That’s a good brand.

A: Right. In terms of something like Ace of Spades, was that something that you created initially and then got connected with Jay-Z, or was that something that you created together? In the legend of Ace of Spades, everyone tells that story of how Jay-Z decided to start drinking or making that Champagne. Is that legend true? Was it because he really didn’t want to drink Cristal anymore and wanted his own thing? And did he come to you?

B: One has nothing to do with the other. I was developing a brand. So, if I had you at my office, I would let you taste it and show you everything I’m doing. I like getting people’s opinions and reactions. We don’t do market research. It’s just very organic. Like a lot of things I do, people hear and talk about it. Ace of Spades existed, the Armand de Brignac, and Jay and his team heard about this brand as many other people did. They wanted to see and experience it. Fortunately, I didn’t give any bottles, because they’re expensive. He bought bottles, became familiar with it, and loved the brand. That’s normal in everything we do. People find it and discover it, just like my Canada example. They’re finding it, discovering it, and holding on to it. That’s what I hope for all our brands.

A: How much do you think packaging has to do — and how striking so much of the packaging of the brands that you create — with the finding and discovering process? A lot of times we want to believe packaging isn’t as important. We say, “Oh, it’s all about the liquid.” A lot of what makes your brands pop is that packaging. It’s what causes someone to take it off the shelf in the first place. How much do you think about that?

B: It’s huge for me. There’s two things, and they go hand in hand. There are gorgeous packages, designs, and bottles out there. If the liquid isn’t good, no one’s ever going to come back. There are brands that have tremendous liquid. What’s in the bottle is fantastic. If the package doesn’t stand out though, you may just never notice it.

To me, both sides matter. I’m the little guy. I’m competing against the Diageos and the Bacardis. I don’t have their money. Package becomes even more important because it’s the most important thing you have to try to stand out. I think we’ve done a good job. Again, it’s all organic. It’s all developed in house. We’re creating, what I always hope, is an iconic image and feeling. My goal is always that I want you to buy two bottles — one to put on the shelf and one to open. That’s my goal.

A: Nice. Do you try to have a relationship with someone attached to the brand in each brand you create? Do you want some of the brands you create to live without an association with Rick Ross or Jay-Z?

B: I’m not smart enough to know what works and what doesn’t. I can go back to my example that there are major celebrities in every single industry, and brands don’t work. For everybody who thinks that their next video they put on Instagram is going to go viral, it never does.

The way I build brands and the way I think about it is that my product is better than what I’m competing against. My job is to get people to taste it and see where it goes. I’ll give you an example in our industry that you’ll appreciate. There’s an expression. You sell it on premise to bars and restaurants to then sell at retail. That’s what everybody thinks. That’s the norm.

A: Right. On premise is what makes you famous, then you want everyone to buy an off premise. Totally. That’s the standard model that everyone uses.

B: Had I thought — for Belaire, for example — that it had to be an on-premise brand and that’s the only way it would ever work, I wouldn’t have realized the reality, which is what happened. We’re 10 years in and we’re 98 percent retail.

A: Wow.

B: Everything is just about letting things breathe. See where a brand works and where it achieves success. Build on that. I think of that with everything I do. I’m not smart enough to know where it should go. I have a North Star. I know where I want to go, but how I get there is going to change every day.

A: It seems like you have a little bit of a specialty, right? You’ve done two Cognacs. You’ve done a bunch of sparkling. Is that because you love those products? It’s a sweet spot? How much are you looking at data to see where the opportunity is? I am always so curious how much someone like yourself, who is truly an alcohol entrepreneur and launching different brands, is looking at data and the market to figure out what that next brand is.

B: I look at no data.

A: Oh, wow. OK.

B: Nothing. I consume my brands. I was never a rum drinker until I started drinking rum. I was never a gin drinker until I started drinking it and learning about it. There’s no category that I’m not interested in. I just have to consume it and become familiar with it. Then, it becomes a question of, “Can I come up with a better product than exists? Can I come up with a story that’s better than something else out there that exists?” Because of my dad, I know whiskey so well. It’s easy to me. Only in the past year or so have we come up with what we think is going to make a difference, but I can’t force it. I’m not going to put out a brand just to put out a brand. The second thing I’d say is that the only thing I do look at is if everybody’s running one way. I don’t want to go that way. I want to go somewhere else.

A: So, everyone is circling around premium tequila right now. Is that what you’re saying?

B: Correct. A perfect example is rum. Bumbu is the single largest premium rum now in the U.S. It’s No. 1 in the U.K., Canada, Latvia, Czech. When we launched that five years ago, our industry told us, “Don’t do it. You should go to tequila. Tequila’s the hot thing.” To me. it’s not about that. I want to do things that we feel really good about what we created. It doesn’t matter the category. I think I can compete. It doesn’t matter the category as long as I have a discernible difference in a product.

A: Interesting. I’m curious about your thoughts. As someone that has launched so many great brands, done well, and has sometimes done it with celebrity partners, what do you make of this massive celebrity tequila movement? Do you think it’s a bubble that’s going to burst anytime soon? Do you think there are things about the spirits industry that people don’t realize who are getting in right now?

B: I’d love to give you a thoughtful answer. To me, it’s still about the product. It has to be a good tasting product. It has to have a story. I don’t drink brands because of somebody. I’m drinking the brand because I have a connection to it. I like the taste. That has longevity. It’s hard for me to answer because I don’t think like that. I only think about it from the perspective that it’s all about the brand. It’s not about who’s tied to it. It’s all about the brand.

A: The only person I think that is probably also as well known as you for launching brands like this is Ken Austin. He has said to us before — and it seems like you’re giving a similar answer — that it’s about the brand and for a lot of this, it’s about being all in. I think a lot of people who get involved in the alcohol world don’t realize how much of a grind it is and how much authenticity really matters. Do you agree with that?

B: Oh, completely. It’s history, authenticity, the taste profile, the look and feel. It has to have a connection. I remember 30 years ago, being at a club in South Beach with my dad, and someone ordered a bottle of Ketel One. I’d never heard of it before. I thought it was the coolest thing I’d ever seen. That became the brand I wanted to consume.

Consumers need a connection. They need a real connection to the brand. If you’re banking on celebrity, to me, that’s not it. I don’t know how to build brands that way. For every Conor McGregor, there’s 1,000 other ones that didn’t make it. I don’t know why his brand made it. No clue. I couldn’t give you an answer as to what’s the recipe for that.

A: Interesting. There’s a lot of noise from marketing executives that millennials and Gen Z aren’t brand loyal. They don’t care about brands anymore. Do you buy that?

B: No. Brands just have to have meaning to you. They have to have a soul. They have to have a connection. When we first did our brand with Ace, we didn’t have social media. It was built based on traditional block and tackling articles, magazines, newspapers, and blogs.

When we did Belaire, Instagram started coming. We thought, “Wow, that’s kind of neat. You get to see how people react to your brand.” Now, take Bumbu. Bumbu has more followers on Instagram than any brand of rum — more than Captain Morgan and Bacardi. They have billion dollar budgets. I don’t spend any money on advertising. I’m connecting with the consumer. To me, that means something. My brand has a meaning to them, just like it has a meaning to me. I tell people all the time, the way I think about our brands is that they’re my children. You’ve got to get them to learn to walk, talk, and position them. You need to see where they need help and where they don’t need help. That’s how I do it. Sometimes, not having a plan is a really good plan. As long as you can pivot constantly, you’ll get there.

A: It’s really interesting. When you have the idea for these brands, where do the names come from?

B: For the names, the bottles, and the icons, I’ll see something. I’ll have an idea. I’ll think of something. Then, I park them. Take Bumbu. When we were learning about rum, I ended up learning that in the 14th century, when merchants who traveled the West Indies drank rum, they didn’t like the taste of it. That was called grog. That was their normal rum. They started blending their own and they called it bumbu. It’s almost like you’re birthing an idea from that. You get it. That’s where the inspiration came from.

Villon’s story is just so cool. In the 14th century, there was a poet named François Villon in France. He was an iconoclast who went against the grain. He fought against bad cops and the government. He was kicked out of Paris. He ultimately was killed by a monk. Some people think the word villain comes from Villon. That’s the brand’s soul. It’s going against everybody else in this category. The names, bottles, and designs are all done in house. They’re all critical to me in how you build that loyalty with a consumer.

A: That’s really fascinating. Well, Brett, it has been really interesting to talk to you. I really appreciate you taking the time to tell us a little bit more about yourself and the brands that you’re building. I think all the people who listen are familiar with at least one, if not many of them. I love the way that you talk about how you’re thinking about the brand, how it fits into people’s lives, and that attachment. I think a lot of people who listen are probably pretty jealous that you don’t spend any money on advertising. So, congrats to you for all that success. Thank you so much again for joining me.

B: Thanks, Adam. Really appreciate being able to talk about our industry. New brands are the lifeblood of the industry, so I love it.

THE VINEPAIR TEAM TRIES SNOOP DOGG’S 19 CRIMES CALI RED WINE

A: That was a super-fun interview. Brett was really great. Let’s jump into this, though. There’s a lot of celebrity wines we could have chosen to taste today, but the one we all have in front of us is Snoop Dogg’s. It’s just been everywhere recently. It’s called 19 Crimes. This is a perfect example of a collaboration. I don’t think Snoop has any ownership in this. He probably gets paid very well.

Z: Treasury folks, I know you listen, if you want to let us know exactly what you’re paying him, that’d be cool.

A: Seriously, Treasury. Hook us up. It jumped every other 19 Crimes, which was already wildly successful. This is what I see now, everywhere. I think he’s come out with a rosé, too, which also proves that this has got to be the most successful in the entire line. I’m standing for this.

Z: Is that out of respect, or what?

J: He’s only associated with his picks, right? Like, the Snoop Cali Red?

A: Yeah. The other 19 Crimes with a guy from Australia is how the brand started and then they connected with him. I think that this is way more successful than anything else. Don’t quote me, if you want to email me and tell me, Adam, you’re wrong, cool. I think it is very successful. I’ve never had it before.

Z: Let’s talk a little bit about this. Everyone has seen this bottle, presumably, if you’ve ever been in a grocery store before.

A: It’s full black. You can’t see the wine in it.

Z: It’s definitely a matte finish, a little translucent. It fits the broader 19 Crimes look, but it’s also very distinctly its own thing. That’s in part because it’s got Snoop Dogg’s face on it, which is pretty recognizable.

A: Literally the foil around the whole neck says “Snoop.”.

Z: The cork, if you haven’t gotten it open yet, has his visage on it as well, which is cool. That’s going in my cork collection.

A: It’s a little weird quirk at the top.

Z: I’m actually mildly surprised that this wine has a cork. This might have been a thing that would have made sense with a screw cap.

A: Oh, my gosh. It’s hilarious. As you’re pulling the cork out, it’s his face.

Z: Oh, yeah. Snoop stares at you. We’ve been doing this whole recording with him kind of glaring at me. It’s mildly intimidating.

A: It’s kind of cool.

Z: It’s very, very dark in color, unsurprisingly.

A: It’s very purple.

Z: Joanna, have you tried it yet?

J: I have not.

Z: And Adam, you have not tasted it yet, right?

A: I have not tasted it.

Z: OK. Joanna, do you think this wine will be sweet or not?

J: Oh, I don’t think it will be sweet. Is it sweet?

Z: Well, taste it and tell us.

A: Are you quizzing everybody or just Joanna?

Z: OK, do you think it will be sweet, Adam, or not?

A: I think it’s going to be sweet, but deceptively so. It’s going to have sugar, but it’s not going to be in your face like Moscato. Now, do I taste it?

Z: Yeah, go for it.

J: It’s sweet.

A: It’s sweet, but like I said, it’s deceptively so. This wine is very well engineered.

Z: Oh, yeah.

A: This is a flavor lab, we’re going to figure out how to deliver this at exactly—

J: Like blending? Is that what you mean?

A: Oh, they are doing a lot more than that.

Z: Oh Joanna, you sweet summer child.

A: This wine is sweet. It’s almost no tannin.

Z: And almost no acidity. It’s very, very smooth.

A: This is what someone thinks of when they say they want a smooth wine. It’s super dark. This is like crushed velvet.

Z: My thinking on this wine when I first tasted it is that their inspiration for this wine was, “How do we make a $12 bottle of the Prisoner?”

A: That’s 100 percent what that is.

Z: The Prisoner is not this sweet. It has more tannin, but it has that very smooth blended fruit character. I interviewed the winemaker, Chrissy Wittmann, a while back. She talked about how one of the huge things for Prisoner is that they know that their drinkers want to drink the wine right away. They’re not going to age it. The tannins have to be very supple and integrated. They go for a lot of fruit ripeness, and that’s what they’re going for. Maybe all of 19 Crimes is trying to piggyback a little bit on that vague esthetic. But, this feels to me like, “What can we make that we can sell that’s basically the Prisoner, but we can sell it in every gas station and grocery store around the country?”

J: Maximally appealing.

Z: It’s not bad. My wife was very curious to try it. She said, “This is the kind of wine that if someone invited me over to have wine and chocolate, this is the wine they should serve me.”

J: Oh, interesting.

Z: I think it’s a good point. It’s a good wine for that kind of thing.

A: It has a little acidity, but you’re right. There’s not a lot of oak either.

Z: The other thing about this … there’s almost no aftertaste to this wine. It’s gone almost instantly. What does that make you want to do? It makes you want to fill the glass and drink again. It’s a drink-the-whole-bottle kind of thing.

A: This wine is so engineered. It’s crazy. Wow, this is awesome. I feel like we didn’t hate it. I would not buy it, but I also really understand why people love it. I didn’t think it was disgusting. I don’t hate it. Zach, I think your wife is right. If you had a wine and chocolate event, I could get down with this. It’s an interesting beverage. To me, is it an interesting wine? No. It’s an interesting beverage, though.

J: Maybe I’d mull this wine.

A: Ooh, yeah.

Z: I think it could be a great wine for sangria. It’d be a great wine for making a New York Sour, a cocktail with red wine.

A: Or a Kalimotxo.

Z: It’s cool stuff. Glad I finally had an excuse to try it. I’ve seen it sitting out in the grocery store for years now.

A: Me too. Well guys, talk to you Monday.

J: See ya.

Z: Sounds great.

Thanks so much for listening to the “VinePair Podcast.” If you love this show as much as we love making it, please leave us a rating or review on iTunes, Spotify, Stitcher, or wherever it is you get your podcasts. It really helps everyone else discover the show.

Now, for the credits, VinePair is produced and recorded in New York City and Seattle, Washington, by myself and Zach Geballe, who does all the editing and loves to get the credit. Also, I would love to give a special shout-out to my VinePair co-founder, Josh Malin, for helping make all this possible and also to Keith Beavers, VinePair’s tastings director, who is additionally a producer on the show. I also want to, of course, thank every other member of the VinePair team who are instrumental in all of the ideas that go into making the show every week. Thanks so much for listening, and we’ll see you again.

Ed. note: This episode has been edited for length and clarity.

The article VinePair Podcast: Do We Really Need More Celebrity Booze? appeared first on VinePair.

source https://vinepair.com/articles/podcast-celebrity-booze/

[acsversace-news]

Warning: This recap of the “Manhunt” episode of The Assassination of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story contains spoilers.

From the beginning we’ve known that Andrew Cunanan fancied himself a man of finer tastes. Even while on the run for a murder spree, he still took the time to purchase just the right Wayfarer knock-offs or order a surf ‘n’ turf meal from a wealthy john. Did Cunanan wear just any old bathing suit? Nope, it was magenta Speedo all the way. And when it came to rat-infested, crumbling junkie motels, you better believe Cunanan asked for an ocean view. Yes, even the lowest of human existences can leave room for glamour.

“Manhunt” continued last week’s premiere with even more backstory of where both Versace and Cunanan had been in their respective lives before the titular assassination. And like last week, it took what everyone knew about the case (from sensationalized tabloid coverage mostly) and filled in the gaps with new facts, genuine insight, and arresting beauty. Let’s talk about it!

We began with an unrecognizable, anonymous man in disguise.

Underneath this ingenious, identity-concealing ensemble was none other than famous fashion designer Gianni Versace. But this costumed ruse would be for neither heist nor romp. No, he was at a clinic receiving bad news about a blood test he’d recently taken. And while this episode was careful to keep things vague, this scene, added to a later scene in which he could barely walk unassisted, was meant to suggest that Versace’s life had once been threatened long before Andrew Cunanan ever pointed a gun at him. You can probably guess what the illness was. But as a reminder, the ’90s were an especially bad time for a specific group of people.

Versace’s diagnosis played heavily into this episode’s central concept. That he’d been able to fight off his illness using state-of-the-art medicines, he’d slapped the grim reaper across its tacky face, and he’d begun to embrace life as only a formerly dead man walking could. Which, as Donatella Versace noted, made his later murder all the more devastating.

But death comes for us all, even those who can afford to have their facial bullet wounds spackled over and their cremains laid to rest so fabulously.

Even when reduced to several ounces of ash, Versace still flew first class. Honestly touching.

We then cut over to Andrew Cunanan, who was currently speeding on the freeway scream-singing “Gloria.” Which, we’ve all done that, and in my case nearly every day. “Gloria” is one of the greatest songs of all time. As we quickly discovered, Cunanan was only just arriving in Miami, so this act of free-wheelin’ joy came after he’d murdered his first four victims. Yep, he was now murder-jazzed, and it was time to spread his brand of awful in a beach community!

Cunanan showed up at the dingiest motel with the most beautiful oceanfront view in Miami. It was clearly a faded stucco hell pit of junkies and, well, other serial killers I’m guessing. Between the presence of a junkie Max Greenfield and a duct-tape gimp mask, this was like if American Horror Story: Hotel had been crossed with Miami Vice. Into it.

Meanwhile the FBI had arrived in town around the same time, but this local Miami detective lady quickly realized they were terrible at their jobs and had not tried particularly hard to catch this gay spree-killer yet. They hadn’t even made any copies of his “Wanted” poster! And as we’d learn later, citizens were ready and willing to report a Cunanan sighting, which made it all the more frustrating that the FBI had been so slow to spread the word. (Thank God for America’s Most Wanted.)

As you can imagine, Andrew Cunanan made fast friends with junkie Max Greenfield, and after a heartfelt scene in which Greenfield’s character talked about his HIV diagnosis, the two schemed openly about how to make quick cash and/or buy some junk to smoke. An enterprising liar and conman, it was almost charming that Cunanan still resorted to turning tricks sometimes. I guess that was easier than, like, check fraud or whatever.

So, sex work for local lonely hearts was now on the menu! Congratulations, Miami fellas!

Except, whoops … there was the pesky fact that Andrew Cunanan was a total psychopath. Which meant that this john’s simple request to be dominated led him to finding himself suffocating under a face full of duct tape and terrorized within an inch of his life while Andrew Cunanan danced around the room in a pink Speedo.

Yeah this was one of the most disturbing scenes I’ve seen in a Ryan Murphy joint, but the terror was effective. The disturbing vibe continued even afterward, as the terrified john sat watching Cunanan finish a lobster meal, waited until Cunanan left, and then debated whether to call 911 and report the assault. Alas, the wedding ring he placed back on his finger suggested why the crime ultimately went unreported. Again: The ’90s really sucked.

But enough darkness, it was time to remember what made Versace famous! In this scene, Donatella urged Versace to change things up and compete with his more goth-inspired competitors Galliano and McQueen, but Versace made clear that he was in the business of joy and beauty and life, especially now that he had his health back. Donatalla couldn’t help but see his point.

And credit to this show for not only producing a convincing fashion show (with convincingly Versace-ish looks) but also even casting a runway model who resembled Shalom Harlow to play Shalom Harlow! Miss her. Come back, Shalom.

As though we needed more evidence that Andrew Cunanan was unhinged, we got this cute scene where he smoked tons of drugs, then went to the bathroom for some quiet time. In this case quiet time involved wrapping his head and face in duct tape and also admiring the intensely insane serial killer wall he’d created in the bathroom:

Yeah, I think we’d recalled Cunanan as being an out-of-control party boy or whatever, but this series has done a lot to prove he was insane in a scary and singular way. Just a bad-time-guy lookin’ for trouble.

We also got glimpses into the romantic life shared by Versace and his lover, Ricky Martin (as himself, jk). And though their lifestyle of hooking up with men together and going to the clubs was nothing they were ashamed of in their private life, we could sense that the straight world would never understand their situation. Versace himself doubted that his partner truly loved him enough to want to be married (which … gay marriage? What a futuristic concept in 1997!), yet they still were clearly everything to each other. It would be romantic if we didn’t know where this was all heading.

We then got another classic Cathy Moriarty appearance, in which we saw the incident when Cunanan sold a stolen coin to her at her pawn shop and she remembered it enough to contact the police after the shooting. And again, she’d even glanced at her collection of “Wanted” posters before making the sale, underscoring again that the authorities’ slow-to-act tendencies toward gay crime had almost directly led to Versace’s murder. But at least we can all continue to count on Cathy Moriarty when we need her!

I loved this brief scene when a drag impersonator of Donatella showed up at Versace’s manor and demanded to come in and hang out. He was polite enough about it, noting that one Donatella in his life was enough, but still. She DID look fun to hang out with. I probably would’ve let her up.

That night, Versace and his lover went out to the local dance club Twist, and Andrew Cunanan followed them there, presumably to shoot him right there in the club. But Versace ended up ducking out before the encounter happened but not before his lover informed him that even at night, even amid opportunities to be around other men … he still chose Versace and wanted to marry him. Again, except for the line of strangers behind them and the bad ’90s techno wafting in the air, this was an incredibly touching and romantic moment. These two.

Inside, a clearly dejected Cunanan was approached by a random hottie, and he responded by having a borderline meltdown in which he listed all the different fake occupations he’d ever pretended to be. Including, of course, serial killer. But while the random hottie had no reason to think Cunanan was being serious about any of them, it was a chilling notion that someone who had spent a lifetime lying about his accomplishments was now going to try to make a name for himself in a more tragic and gruesome way. Ugh, he was the worst.

“Manhunt” functioned best as a continuation of last week’s introduction to the story and setting. And like last week, it relied on visuals and physical performance more than written dialogue, and was just as spellbinding. Tense, funny, emotional, and troubling all at once, this is a fascinating world to explore and I can’t get enough. Obviously it’s a dark story and doesn’t promise to get any lighter by the end of it, but I can’t help myself. That this is even on the air (and executed so perfectly) is enough to give someone a new lease on life. How very Versace.

[peakyblinders1919]

That Makes Her A Murder

“And what do I do Tommy?” You asked eagerly, watching your older brothers run off to get the supplies Tommy had just requested of them. He threw on his coat, his hair still flopping in his face from the rain as he looked down at you.

“Nothing. You’re not to leave this house. You stay with Ada or Polly, and you don’t move.” He said sternly, wagging a finger at you while you crossed your arms.

“That’s not fair. I’m just as much a part of this family as you. My nephews still missing and you want me to sit here?”

“Yes.”

“You’ve got Finn out looking for him.”

“And it’s getting dark, he’s supposed to be back soon. He’s older than you anyway.”

“By two bloody years.”

“Too many people are going to get hurt tonight, you have to stay here.” He said while shuffling around the room, obviously confused, over thinking, worried.

“But Tommy-”

“I don’t want to hear it Y/N. Do not leave this goddamn house.” He said harshly while banging his hands on the table, making you jolt.

You left the room in a furry, almost running into Finn as he entered the house, breathless.

“Anything?” You asked, looking up at him. He just sighed and shook his head, walking into the room to talk to Tommy. You lingered by the stairs, hearing your brother dish out commands to the other, while your only one was to wait. Wait for everything to get back to normal. You were impatient, waiting made you anxious, especially when you could be out helping.

You grabbed your coat, running outside towards the garage was Finn was packing the petrol into Tommy’s car, like he was told. You lingered in the shadows for a moment, really contemplating what you were about to do. But if you waited any longer you’d probably run back inside and stay with the others like you were told. In the spur of the moment you jumped out from your hiding place, scaring your brother half to death as a can of petrol went flying through the air.

“Jesus fucking christ Y/N, what the hell was that for?” He spat angrily, staring you down before walking to retrieve the can and load it in the car. You walked right beside him, picking up a can as well and putting it in the car.

“I wanna help.”

“Well you can’t.”

“Why not? Because Tommy said no?” You said defensively, putting your hands on your hips as you watched him finish pacing the car.

“Yeah,” he said, as if it was obvious that no one went against your brother’s orders, ever. And you guessed no one really did, except for you.

“Well, I don’t care what Tommy said. I’m gonna come with you.”

“Y/N, you know I love you, but no.” Finn said, hoping the conversation would end there as he walked past you and into the car, bringing it around front like he was told.

“Come on Finny, you and I are like partners in crime, wherever you go I go, right?” You screamed as he shook his head, driving ‘round the corner.

You sulked in the dark back alley for a second, wondering how the hell you were supposed to live up to the Shelby name if they treated you as if you weren’t. You knew what Aunt Polly or Ada would say if you complained to them then, “He loves you, that’s why he’s not letting you get involved,” “You mean to much to him to be out there,” “He’d never live with himself if something happened to you.” You’d heard it all before, and there was no doubt you knew it was true, but there was always some missing. You felt a void inside when you couldn’t do what you wanted because someone told you you couldn’t, regardless of the reasons.

You huffed, running inside to get the gun you had stored under your bed. No, none of your brother’s knew you had one, if they did you’d probably be grounded for life, or worse. You had managed to steal it one time when John drunkenly left it on the sideboard and you’d found it before Polly even noticed. You rolled it in your hands, a foreign object somehow felt like it belonged in your hands. You didn’t know what you were going to do with it, but by God you were helping.

You ran down the street, pumping your arms and breathing heavily as your feet carried your closer to the office where everyone was waiting with Charlie, who was found and safe after all.

You stopped outside, trying to regain your breath before going in and that’s when you remembered. You stood up straight, taking the gun in your pocket and throwing it into the Cut.

“Y/N?” Finn called, emerging from the office looking for you. He found you hunched over the river, your reflection staring back at you.

You could smell the blood that dotted your face like fiery freckles, and surprisingly it is didn’t freak you out to think that the blood of someone else was on you. You didn’t feel a desire to wash it off quickly, you wanted to rid your face of the evidence that you’d done it. You were ashamed, you had done what you had needed to; Charlie was home, and Tommy was on his way, but if they saw…

“Y/N, where were you, what happened?” But you didn’t have time to answer as a car roared towards it, the bright lights illuminating the front of it. You cursed yourself, having waited too long. If it was Tommy, which you were sure it was, and he walked in to find you missing, you might be the next one dead.

“You better run for it.” Finn joked.

Ignoring him, you ran into Tommy’s side, catching him off guard. You kept him from his son, who was just on the other side of those doors. You cried into his chest as you hugged him, Tommy looking down at you confused but this was nothing you. He ruffled your hair playfully, noticing his breath was gagged too.

“I’m OK, I’m OK, but Charlie…” he said, knowing he wanted you to move. You let go and stepped back, the crimson splattered on your face illuminated by the lights. His face fell, no words spoken as he took your chin in his hands, examining it. “It’s ok, it’s ok.” He finally said as tears rolled down your cheeks. His big hands meet your face, running across them, freeing it of blood. “Come on, we’ll talk about this later.” He said, pulling you into his side and walking through the doors, a smile crossing his face and yours as you saw the little babe happily in Polly’s hand, reaching for you brother.

“I’m sorry Tommy,” you cried into his side as he sat on the bed with you. Your hair dripped down your back. After the happy reunion everyone had gone their separate ways, you falling into Finn’s side in the back of the car as Tommy took you guys and a sleeping Charlie home. He’d told you to take a bath and calm down, letting the boiling hot water numb you for 30 minutes until there was a knock on your door.

“What happened?” He asked calmly, and growing up with Tommy as your brother, you knew you should be scared.

“I...I don’t know, it all happened so fast…” you started in a shaky voice.

“What were you doing anyway? I told you not to leave the shop.”

“I’m sorry ok! But I more capable than you think.”

He sighed, running a hand over his face, trying to clear his head and keep calm, because he was seconds from breaking. His heart had stopped the minute he saw you with blood on your face, but he didn’t know what to do about it.

“Y/N, I wasn’t doing it because I don’t think you're capable. I know you are. In fact, I know just how capable you are. I was protecting you.”

“I don’t need your protec-”

“I was trying to protect you from this lifestyle. You deserve better than this.”

The room fell silent as you let the words sink in and wash over you. You furrowed your brow, looking around the your big bedroom with endless windows overlooking the rolling estate your brother owned, everything he worked hard to get. How could it get better than this?

As if reading your mind he inhaled sharply, drawing your attention back to him. You looked into his familiar blue eyes. “You deserve a good life.”

“But I have a good life Tommy, I have a good family that I love, what more do I need?”

“You should be safe. You should do something you're proud of.”

“But I am proud of-”

“Proud of the man you killed?” It was as if he pushed a knife right into your heart. Even though it was a few hours ago that you pulled the trigger in an attempt to save your own life, pushed up against a wall with a man twice your size on the other, you had forgotten what you had done. It had happened and then it was over. He was dead on the ground, non-existent anymore. You had done that, taken his life from him. It was setting in, becoming real again as Tommy talked about it.

“Y/N, once you kill, you never stop.”

Tears were pricking your eyes again. You couldn’t look at Tommy know, knowing his words were true. It was playing over and over again in your head, the bang, watching him fall to the ground, the rush.

“You deserve a normal life.”

“I don’t want a normal life Tommy.”

“You’ll never be safe again. You’ll always be worried about someone watching you, someone trying to hurt you.”

“I’m not afraid to die.” You blurted, thinking again about how it felt to be pushed into a corner, a gun pointed at you. Your life flashed before your eyes, but then it fueled you, enough so to pull the trigger.

“You should be.” He said, then breaking the tension with a bit of laughter, something that brought you back in time. “But you're definitely a Shelby.” He said, shaking his head and giving your hair a ruffle again, something he felt compelled to do everything he was with you out of brotherly love, and partially because he knew you hated it now. He walked towards the door, once again leaving you wondering what he was doing.

“Tommy, is everything going to be ok?”

“Yes, everything is going to be ok. Give me the gun.”

“I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“Threw it in the Cut.” You said followed by a chuckle as he looked at you and shook his head.

“Yup, definitely a Shelby. Don’t worry about him, it’ll be taken care of.”

You sat back down as he left, alone in the dark with nothing but your memories of the night. You didn’t know how he did it, how any of them did it. Killing. You weren’t afraid, you hadn’t hesitated in the moment, it coming like second nature to you to pull the trigger and watch the bullet fly through the air, and through the man's skull, but you knew the you’d never be free of the image. Tommy was right, if this is how you felt after killing, imagine if you killed again, and again. You didn't want that to control your life. You'd seen how too many ghosts can drag people down, Arthur and John and Tommy completely different people since the war.

You snuggled up in the warmth of your bed, thinking that maybe Tommy had a point. You'd always have them as family, but you didn't the burden that always came with the name.

yes so sorry its late but i wanted to get it up. there will be another part or follow up or something. tell me what you think of her and what not. also sorry the gif isn’t the best match but ya know

[nobravery]

The Neighbor — Part. I

a Shawn Mendes Series.

Requested: No.

A/N: Finally I’m posting something. I was inspired at the very beginning but I believe that it’s getting worse and worse this story, rip it’s completely unrealistic whereas I always write in a way as realistic as possible. But never mind, I had fun. It’s always a pleasure for me to write. Also big shoutout to @babyshawwn because she’s the Queen of the Fics, and @illumendes my fav cunt who told me to go on. Ah, and @saysweartogod for your name.

WordCount: 3,815

Two weeks later. It was almost midday. That day, the sun didn’t put in an appearance, but it wasn’t raining for all that. It was just kinda cloudy. y/n was working on her classes in her bedroom, while Emily was keeping an eye on the spaghetti carbonara, reading some school books and with music in her headphones. Both were very concentrating, when y/n thought she heard someone knocking at the door. She didn’t hear anything more, so she shrugged her shoulders and plunged back into her sheets of paper. But she heard the knock again. So she frowned, before calling Emily from her bedroom. Obviously the latter didn’t hear whatever, but y/n ignored that. « Emily, someone’s knocking, go and answer the door! she yelled a little louder. » No answer from Emily. Emily, I’m going to kill you, she thought. Then she stood up, came out of her bedroom and quickened her step; entering the living-room, she immediately saw Emily who acted as if nothing was happening. But when she saw y/n, she removed her headphones quickly. « Hey y/n, is there a prob? – Yeah, I called you like two or three times but obviously you didn’t hear, I understand why now. Someone’s knocking at the door, y/n informed eventually. – Ah? Who’s this? the other inquired. – I don’t know, I’ll get it. » So straight away y/n rushed to the door, not wanting the person on the doorway to wait even more. She unlocked it, pressed the handle and finally opened the door. The guy in front of her was so tall that she had to raise her head to look at him. His hair was brown, curly, nicely done and looked very soft. Clad in a white tshirt, he was smiling at y/n; his teeth were perfectly lined up and as white as his tshirt. His mandible was well-traced as well and she could guess that his zygomatic bone was too. Hands in his jeans pockets, his brown eyes were looking at her, and she noticed it a few seconds later. « Hum, hello? she managed to say finally with a smile. How may I help you? » Then she heard Emily who was still in the kitchen saying something like « Who’s that? ». Meanwhile, the guy was smiling even more. « Well, I’m your new neighbor and I didn’t have the time at all to buy sugar. I was wondering if you had some. » The young girl was gazing out at him, and frowned weakly at a moment, but still smiling. « Yeah, we have sugar for sure. Come in, don’t stay outside the door. » So the guy complied and immediately Emily joined them near the entrance. « Hello! the newcomer said. What’s up there? – Euh… » Definitely y/n was looking for his name that she didn’t know yet, turning her forefinger in circles and pressing her lips together. « Oh sorry. Shawn. I’m Shawn, he saved her eventually. I was wondering if you had some sugar, he explained to Emily. » y/n approved with a nod, while her friend had her eyes wide open, meaning she understood. « Okay, Shawn, I’ll get it, I’ll get you what you want. » She dashed towards the little cupboard above the sink, and finally grabbed the sugar. She rejoined the two others after. « Here is it, she declared, holding the sugar box out to Shawn. » He took it right away, and he thanked her with a smile. « I’m Emily. And this is y/n who let you in. – Nice to meet you, he greeted. Have you been longer here? » Emily and y/n looked each other in the eyes, then y/n finally replied. « No, we’ve been here for a little more than two weeks. We just settled. – We’re there for studies, added her flatmate. For a year. We’re not even from Canada. – Wow, I see, and what do you study? Do you enjoy Toronto? » As Emily was going to have a quick look at the spaghetti before she could forget them, she let y/n and Shawn carried on the conversation. « Criminology is our major, Anthropology our minor. Both are interesting. » With that, Emily who was still hearing what her bestie said, came back a few seconds later. « We do enjoy Toronto, she continued, although we don’t know everything yet. But the vibe looks cool there. – Yeah it is, the young boy simply answered. » All three had been talking for two little minutes about Canada and especially Toronto and U of T, before the time when Shawn announced that he had to leave. He greeted his neighbors, having a final talk with them and finally joined the door; the girls went with him. « Hope to see you soon! he called once he crossed the doorstep. – Obviously, you live just nearby, Emily replied. – Yes, true but I’m leaving soon. – Vacation? questioned y/n. » Shawn laughed a bit then smiled. « Not really, but let’s consider that yes. – Oh okay, well, Emily said. When will you leave? – In four or five days. – Fine, I hope you’ll enjoy! » He smiled by way of thanks, told his two neighbors that he will go past again to give them back the sugar box and a few seconds after, he got back to his door and returned home. The girls, who just closed their door, could hear his one shut. While y/n was on her way to set the table for lunch, her friend had still her hand leaning against the door, thinking. « You’re coming? y/n asked her. Lunch is ready right now! » Emily complied and finally took a seat opposite her best friend who was serving them with pasta. Then y/n immediately noticed that she was kinda preoccupied. « What are you thinking about? she inquired when she took a seat as well. » Emily chewed before answering. « I don’t know, didn’t you have a feeling of déjà-vu? I mean, when you saw the guy. – Ah, Shawn? No, why? I should have? This is absurd, Em, we don’t know anybody here. Moreover I don’t know any Shawn. » Nevertheless y/n was thinking about what her flatmate said, in vain, when the latter replied to her. « I know that, me neither, but I’ve the impression that I’ve already seen him somewhere. Never mind, I’m probably too tired. »

An hour later, the two girls were playing a game of chess on the table when they heard a knock at the door. « This must be Shawn. I’ll get it again, declared y/n. » Emily nodded. Meanwhile, the other reached the door and opened it. Indeed, it was Shawn on the doorstep, the sugar box in his hand. « I didn’t want to bother you earlier, so here I am. Thanks for the sugar, he said, giving it back to y/n. – You’re welcome, we can help each other, among neighbors. » They smiled at each other. « By the way, maybe you already know it but it’s Canada Day in two days, I’m going to celebrate it with some friends, I wanted to know if you wanted to join us, if you don’t mind, of course. » At the time, the young girl said nothing, because she didn’t know what to answer, quite simply. So she called Emily out and the latter came, practically straight away. « What’s going on? Is everything okay? » Then y/n beckoned to Shawn to repeat what he had said just before, so he did it, asking again in front of the two flatmates. When y/n seemed hesitant about accepting, and unlike her Emily looked completely in. « Hey, come on! she encouraged. Let’s have fun for once. » y/n thought a bit, rolled her eyes and finally she gave in. « Well, Shawn spoke, I’m delighted you have accepted, I’ll see you in two days so! » Then they said goodbye to each other and all of them returned to their respective apartments. Emily and y/n went back to their seats and to their game of chess. « It’ll be cool, we will have fun in two days, Em said as her mate was focusing on the game. – Hum hum, yes! she replied while moving one of her two knights. I guess so. » In actual fact, y/n wasn’t the one who had often parties — which didn’t mean that she didn’t like parties —, contrary to her best friend, who had always said that y/n didn’t know how to have fun whereas it was actually wrong, and who never missed the opportunity to live it up and to hook up with some guys during parties. But this didn’t stop Emily from being as serious and invested as y/n when it came to studies. Both were rather intellectual; indeed their favourite places ever had always been libraries, places full of books at least. Besides, they had met each other for the very first time in a library. « Checkmate, Em, she declared a few minutes later. – What? How’s that? No? Already? » She looked for another move to do, but she found nothing. « Checkmate, y/n repeated with a smile and amusedly this time. » Emily murmured something which looked like a « Too bad », and asked to take a revenge on her, but she lost one more time. « You should tell me how you can do that. You just checkmated in six moves. – Girl, you know I’ve been playing chess for ages. I’ll teach you one day. » Em smiled, while y/n was putting away the chess set in a storage drawer. Then she retraced her steps and went back to her bestie. « I think I’m going to– – Library? » y/n sighed loudly, rolling her eyes out of despair. « Not at all, let me finish my sentence. I’m going to buy blank sheets and I’ll try to find some cool postcards for my family. You’re coming? » But the other didn’t answer; she was smiling widely. It was a mocking and mischievous smile. « What? Why are you smiling like that? Did I say something funny? » Emily continued to smile in the same way as before. « Nothing special. I was wondering… – Hm? » She finally burst out laughing, making y/n, who was preparing her stuff to go outside, frowned. « You know, the neighbor… Shawn… He’s rather cute, uh? Do you think he’s currently single? » y/n let her billfold down, with the element of surprise. « What? I don’t know, Em, I don’t care about that, it is not our business– – Hm hm, you still love bets and challenges? – That doesn’t change actually, said y/n. » Even though she was rather a good loser usually, she was afraid of what her friend could say about Shawn. Emily was the kind of person who could challenged the others to do everything and anything. But it was always harebrained ideas. « What if one of us tried to get off with him for Canada Day? It could be funny. » y/n shook her head straight away, which meant no. « Certainly not, I decline this. But you can. That’s your genre to do this, not really mine. I’m the one who wants serious things. » Emily shrugged her shoulders. « You’re not funny, y/n. But okay, I’ll try during his party in two days, she explained. That could be really fun. – Obviously. One more on your list of conquests, her flatmate replied in a sigh, taking her bag. » They looked each other in the eyes; Emily’s one were full of challenge. « You’re crazy, Em, the other added. He might have a girlfriend who’s just next door and we don’t even know about it. You’ll see blurry when we’ll arrive and when he’ll say something like “and this is blablabla, my girlfriend”. » Her best friend shrugged her shoulders again, and then y/n asked her again if she wanted to go outside with her. Em declined, wanted to study a little. So with that, her friend went to the door, unlocked it, opened it and shut it again behind her. She was now in the corridor. She walked right up to the grey metal elevator, pressed the button to call it and then turned her gaze on the floor in an automatic way. The elevator arrived at her floor few seconds after, and its doors opened. When she raised her head again, she found someone who was familiar to her inside the lift, in front of her. « Hey, y/n! You’re going for a walk? – Hello again, Shawn, she replied while they inverted their positions, and she pressed the button that allowed to keep the elevator doors open. Yeah, last-minute shopping. » They talked for about five good minutes, about everything and nothing, whereas they had already talked together earlier. He asked about Em, what she was doing at the moment, what they haven’t discovered in Toronto yet. Also he questioned if both of them were still in for Canada Day. « Of course, she confirmed. We both are. That will be great. Thank you. » Shawn smiled at her, his hand pressing against the wall. His hands. y/n noticed how large they were. « Okay, I’m gonna let you go so, he finally declared. » After saying goodbye to each other, the elevator led y/n to the first floor and she left the building.

Many hours later, it was about a quarter past five, y/n just returned to the condo. She had spent a lot of time at a library in the centre, after buying what she had to buy. She had got lost in books and hadn’t pay attention to the time. She crossed the doorstep, and entered the apartment. « Hey, y/n, finally! Where were you? » Emily was sitting on the sofa, reading a whodunnit. « I did what I had to do, and as you can guess, I went to a library! It was very huge. You should have come, you missed something dude! – Ah? You’ll show me next time so. » After putting down her bag and stuff, y/n sat next to Em on the couch. The latter put her book on the living-room table, and the newcomer told her everything in details about what she saw in town, how the library and stores were… And eventually she told her that she passed Shawn as she went to the lift. Emily didn’t really comment about it. « You should have come with me outside if you wanted to pass him. If you want to catch his eye… – Yeah, patience… » y/n smiled at Em, who gave it back to her.

The following day, y/n just woke up. It was already twenty past ten. It was unusual for her to wake up at this time, because she was rather an early bird. For once, it was Em who was awake first, because when she came to the kitchen, she had already breakfast. « Hey y/n, her friend called her, what’s up? This is the first time you’re the second one to wake up. – Nothing much, I don’t know. There’s a first time for everything in life. » Actually, she didn’t sleep well. And Emily knew why. « You’re still thinking about Chris? she ventured. » y/n flinched and winced when she heard this name. « Yeah, maybe. I don’t want to talk about this. About him. » This guy, Christopher, was y/n’s ex with whom she had been for almost two years. She was really in love with him, and she thought it was mutual. But the day which had marked their breakup was the one when she had found out that he was cheating on her with a girl she had always hated, and that for several weeks. And the worst was that both were still dating, while it had been already nine months since the split-up. « Don’t even think about him and his slut anymore, Emily recommended to her while pouring her cereals into her milk again. They’re not worth you giving them attention. » y/n approved with a simple « hum », while eating some French toasts and drinking her milk. She was just trying to hold back her tears. « I know this ain’t easy, Em carried on, but you have to try. They’re toxic. You mustn’t think about these assholes. – I know, Em, her bestie retorted. And you’re totally right. »

Two hours later, Emily had gone into town in her turn, but y/n didn’t want to go outside for the day, feeling a little tired this morning. Em should be back very soon. y/n was watching TV, when someone knocked at the door. Surely Em, she thought. She didn’t hurry over answering the door, dragging her feet. She opened the door eventually. It wasn’t Em. It was Shawn. Again. « Heya, Shawn, how may I help you? – Hey, y/n. Is Emily there? – No, she’s in town. You can wait inside if you have to see and talk to her. » He frowned, which surprised the young girl. « What? she asked. » He grinned weakly. « Actually I wanted to see you. » So she pressed her hand on her clavicule. It was always the sign that she was nervous; nobody knew, except herself and Emily, obviously. « Oh. I’m listening. You want to? she suggested him, inviting him to enter. – No, it won’t be very long. » Shawn was staring at his feet, and finally he raised his head, looking his neighbor in the eyes. « I wanted to ask you something, actually. y/n… » The latter flinched for the second time in a morning. What did he have in mind? Did she do something? Did she say something? Thousands thoughts crossed her mind in one millisecond. She was looking at him. She got lost in his eyes. He was so neutral, and usually she could perceive what people thought and how their emotions were reflected through their eyes. But this time, she couldn’t perceive anything about him. Because his eyes weren’t talking.

A/N: So here was Part. I. I’ll try to post a Part. II very soon whether you want it or not lmao, idk when exactly, given that I haven’t written the end yet lmao I don’t even know how to end the story so rip me but I’ll find, don’t worry lol. As usual, any feedback is appreciated and welcome, it’s always a pleasure to know your opinion, etc.