#like not my legal name bc that’s just the usual bad ‘pulled it off your card’ situation

[aeide-thea]

successfully managed the world’s least challenging parallel parking job 👍

[pascalpanic]

Sweet Talk (Din Djarin x afab!Reader)

Summary: Din can’t hold back anymore, and decides to start flirting with you. Too bad he’s awful at it.

W/C: 3.5K

Warnings: lots of flirting, lots of innuendos, SMUT 18+, unprotected p in v sex (wrap it before you tap it, kiddos), fingering, squirting, cream pie... language? yeah uh there’s a lot. Reader is afab but no pronouns or gendered pet names are used. lots of dirty talk.

A/N: AAAAAAAA this was a request for @notabotiswear!! I hope you guys all like it, this is my first Din smut and I was rlly nervous bc uh Din smut is obviously something big in this fandom and I wasn’t sure if I’d characterize it properly. but here we are!

You don’t know what Din looks like under his helmet, but you think he must be smirking. There’s no way the man wouldn’t be, not with the words he just said to you.

You’ve been travelling with Din and his little green son for a while now. You’d brought everything good to the beskar man’s life the moment you met. You made him eat more, drink more water. The presence of another human on the ship encouraged Din to bathe more and to keep the ship tidier. All in all, things had massively improved when you entered Din Djarin’s life.

One specific perk brought relief: you were extremely in touch with The Force. So was the tiny little green bean. From you, Din had finally learned his son’s name. He didn’t really like the way Grogu rolled off the tongue, however, so he generally stuck to calling him what he had before. Your ability to communicate with Grogu made things like bedtime and baths much easier, and everything went smoother.

Yes, you were a Force user. Ever since you were a child, you’d had a special sensitivity to that force that flowed all around you. Even though Din was not aware of The Force, nor was he able to use it or speak with it, the energy of The Force made the man practically glow. You understood why Grogu liked him so much. The man radiated it, warm energy that seemed unnatural for a bounty hunter. Once you got to know him, it all made sense. His aura was indescribable, really, but it was fitting. He was a good man at his core. He was kind and even funny sometimes.

Let’s return to the present: Din Djarin just pulled a cheesy pickup line on you, and it made you stare at him with an expression of sheer confusion, even though you could feel your cheeks warm from his words. “What the fuck did you just say to me?” You ask, placing your hands on your hips.

He looks up at you and cocks his head to the side. “I said that I may not be able to feel the Force, but I wish I could feel you.”

Your mouth hangs open, trying to press down a giggle that rises in your throat. “Din, what the fuck?” You finally laugh, grinning. “That’s the worst pickup line I’ve ever heard. No wonder you’re single,” you shake your head. “Where is this coming from?”

Din’s last reserve has broken. He’s been planning this for days, planning the way he’d finally tell you everything he thinks. “Just… I wasn’t listening to you at all. Was looking at your face. You’re gorgeous, you know that?” He asks you, the black T-visor staring you down.

You frown as you see your own reflection in the shining beskar. “I wish I could say the same about you,” you tease and tap your fingers on the metal helmet he wears. “What do you look like under there? Can you tell me?”

“Why, so you can make fun of it?” Din rolls his eyes.

“No, so I can finally put a face to the man I think about at night,” you tease, leaning in closer. It’s instinctual, like you’re leaning in so he can kiss you. He obviously can’t, not with that damn helmet on his head that you know isn’t coming off any time soon.

Din’s breath catches in his throat. “Oh come on,” you smirk at him. “Two can play at that game, Din. What do you look like?” You ask, tracing your fingers across the indents of his helmet and down to his neck. “Can I see your skin?” You ask in a low, quiet voice.

Din nods. You pull the neck of his clothing down to reveal a patch of gorgeous, caramelly skin. “Oh,” you mumble before you can stop yourself. “I bet you have brown eyes, don’t you? With brown hair too, since your skin is this dark. Am I right?”

His breath is heavy now. “Yeah,” he rasps out through the modulator. You press a soft kiss to his skin, feeling how warm and soft it is.

A shiver runs through his body, making the skin prick up beneath your lips. “Oh. So you meant it when you were flirting,” you giggle, sitting back upright and looking at him. “Well, you’re gonna have to win me over the hard way, Mando. Flirting is how people usually do it, I’ve heard,” you tease and pat his helmet as you stand and make your way out of the cockpit.

His aura has changed. It radiates further, sucks in more energy and pushes more out, all at a quicker speed. If it had a color, it would be a deep pink. “You want me too, don’t you, cyare?” Din asks, voice low and husky.

“You’ll have to figure that out yourself, Din,” you laugh and make your way over to your little green child to wake him from his nap.

“Grogu,” you sing softly, and the little thing stirs beneath his absurd amount of blankets. Those big eyes blink open and he makes a little grunt of effort. “I know, baby boy. So sleepy,” you coo and lift him from his cradle. He cuddles into your chest contentedly. “Good morning, snugglebug,” you mumble and press a kiss to his head.

Your back is to the ladder, but you can hear Din climbing down. His feet hit the floor. “I’ve been thinking about you for so long,” he tells you. His voice is even deeper, raspier than the modulator makes it sound. “That body… you don’t know what you’ve unleashed by saying tha-”

You turn, holding Grogu in your arms. Din’s demeanor shifts. “Oh. Uh, hi buddy. Can he understand me?” he asks. He knows sometimes the child can, but not always. Not when he uses different words.

You shake your head, reading the baby’s energy. He’s too sleepy to comprehend anything. “No, he can’t. But really, is that so?” You ask, popping a hip and resting a hand on it.

Din nods. “I’ve always loved the color of your eyes. Have I mentioned that?” You shake your head. “Really, they’re so beautiful.”

That makes you genuinely smile up at him. “Din,” you coo and place a hand on one of the indents of his helmet. “Is there a way you can remove the helmet and I can’t see it that’s legal with The Creed? Like, if my eyes were closed, could you do it?”

He nods. “Yes. As long as you don’t see my face.”

You smile a little. “Good to know,” you nod and walk away, the baby in your arms.

-

The day continues like that, the two of you trading compliments and pick up lines, shamelessly flirting around the Crest. You cook dinner and Din comments that it smells nearly as good as you. Din fixes something mechanical and you comment that those fingers would feel really good somewhere else.

There’s a palpable tension between the two of you for the rest of the night. You and Din dance around each other, sneaking touches of the other’s arm or hand or back. He compliments you and you flirt right back.

When Grogu finally yawns, it’s like the Maker themself sent it. Din hurriedly puts the baby to bed, and finds you in the cockpit after, sitting in his chair. The pilot’s chair. “Din,” you sing-song to grab his attention.

“What?”

You look at him with purpose for a second, then close your eyes. Sitting up a little. Referring to what you said earlier- Din can remove his helmet if you can’t see his face. He can kiss you. You can touch his face, feel him. “I promise they’ll stay closed,” you tell him.

You can hear him breathe through the modulator of his helmet for a moment, then there’s a soft sound of the helmet being removed. Finally, there’s a clank of the helmet being set on the floor. When it’s just your little family of three on the ship, Din omits the full beskar regalia. Nevertheless, you can hear the soft noise of his knees hitting the floor. In front of you. “Can I kiss you?” He asks.

His real voice is like a song. It’s nowhere near as low, though it’s still a bit deep, a bit raspy. It’s beautiful, so quintessentially Din, and you nod with a small smile. “That’s why they’re closed, stupid,” you tease.

One of Din’s calloused hands finds the side of your face. He pulls it down a little, for his kneeling height, and kisses you. Slowly. His lips are warm and soft, surprisingly soft, against your own. You break away from him for a second, your eyes still squeezed tightly shut as if you may accidentally open them. “Can I touch your head?” You ask.

In response, Din takes your hands and puts them on either side of his face. It allows you to feel the stubble beneath your fingertips, the warm skin. “You have a beard,” you giggle softly.

“All the better if my face is between your legs, right?” He chuckles. It’s just so fucking perfect and real, the way his laugh sounds without the helmet. As much as you’re enjoying the sound, the words that his voice formulates make you gasp a little and shudder. “You want that?” He asks you, lips finding your neck and kissing it slowly.

“Goddamn,” you mumble. “No, Din, I wanna fuck you tonight. Can we? Will you keep your helmet off if I promise not to look?” You ask, voice desperate. You clutch the back of his head, digging your fingers into the thick hair there- it’s wavy, you can tell. “Maker, I’ve wanted you for so fucking long.”

Din makes a little noise of affirmation into your neck. “Yeah,” he nods. “Even better, just wait,” he says, pulling away and putting the helmet back on. “You can look again.”

You do, seeing just your reflection in his helmet. “Where do you want me, baby?” You murmur to him, a hand on the side of his helmet.

Baby. No one has ever called Din that before. He’s heard it a million times, in crowded cantinas, between lovers. Between two people who cared for each other. You two cared for each other, he supposes. Obviously, or you wouldn’t be in this situation. The thought of the word makes Din pause for a moment.

“Hello? Din, what’s in there?” you tease and rap on the helmet with a fist.

You can’t see it but he’s absolutely beaming beneath his helmet, overjoyed. “Where do you want me? In the bunk? In the chair?”

You lean in and smirk, your eyes reflected in the black visor. “Where have you dreamed of having me most?” You whisper, and you swear you can see the beskar-clad man shudder.

“My bunk. Get undressed and lie down for me,” he tells you, already climbing down from the cockpit and motioning with his head for you to follow. You nod excitedly and climb down after him.

Din is looking for something, though you’re unsure of exactly what. You remove your top and pants, and start to move to remove your breastband before two large hands find your bare sides.

Din has returned, and he turns you around. He looks down at you with a long and thin strip of dark fabric in his hand, and you shudder. “Is that what I think it is?” You ask, hands finding the sides of his breastplate.

As you start unlatching his armor, Din nods. “You can undress me, then I’ll put it on and remove my helmet,” he tells you.

You smile a little as you start removing his beskar, tossing it to the side onto a discarded cape. It still makes a soft clunk, but it’s not enough to wake Grogu, thank the Maker. Once the metal is gone, your hands run over his flight suit, allowing you to feel the strong muscles beneath them.

“Din,” you murmur, unzipping the front. It exposes his bare chest, his tan skin with dark hair across it. He’s muscular, of course; as a bounty hunter must be. His arms are just as strong as you push the sleeves off of his shoulders, then push the waist down.

He doesn’t wear underwear. Of course he doesn’t, it would be impractical you suppose, but it exposes Din’s surprisingly large dick. You bite your lip as you look down at it, at how hard and needy it already is. You give it a slow stroke and Din groans. “Alright mesh’la. Let’s get that off of you,” he says and lifts your arms, pulling off the breastband.

After that, he shoves your underwear down and you step out of them, kicking them to the side. “Fuck,” he grunts at how beautiful you look, naked before him. Din pushes you back until your ass meets the end of his bunk and he lifts you to sit on the edge.

He spreads your legs and stands between them, his cock pressing against your dripping folds. “Fuck, you’re so wet, and it’s for me?” He chuckles with hardly any air in his lungs.

“Of course I am. So fucking sexy,” you murmur as you let your face fall forward into his chest, kissing at the skin and working a mark into his pec. You pull away and sit back, giving him a little room. “Okay, put it on me. Please. I just wanna kiss you,” you admit, closing your eyes preemptively.

He nods and wraps the cloth around your eyes, using his deft fingers to knot it behind your head. It’s snug, but not too tight. “You do this often?” You tease, resting your hands on his wrists.

He shakes his head. “Never have. Always kept the helmet on. You’re just…” he pauses as he removes his helmet, “something special,” he sighs, finally kissing you again.

You wrap your arms around his neck and pull him tight against you, wrapping your legs around his waist as well. “Din… should’ve said something sooner. Would’ve done anything for you,” you sigh as his lips find your jaw and then your neck, slowly tracing his tongue across your collarbone.

He makes a little grunt. “Sorry,” he chuckles. “Let me make it up to you,” he mumbles as he cups your face and kisses you again, his tongue running along the seam of your lips. “Can I do this, baby? Will you let me fuck you?”

The word again. Baby. It slipped from Din’s lips this time, before he could stop himself. He really really likes you, so much so that he can hardly contain it. He’s never been one for names in bed, degrading or praising, but he’s never going to stop calling you his, his baby.

You whine softly and break the kiss. “Please, Din. Fuck me, wreck me,” you nod before reaching out to where you find his face.

While you trace the stubble of his jaw, one of Din’s thick fingers slips into your folds. He shudders at how wet you are, tracing a finger up and down through the wet skin. “Mm, fuck,” he groans softly as the pad of his middle finger masterfully finds your clit. He rubs small circles into it, causing your head to fall forward into his shoulder.

“Please, please,” you whine, your walls clenching around nothing. “Fuck me already, baby,” you plead with Din, gripping his hips now.

“Relax, cyare,” he murmurs and kisses your neck. With the helmet on, he rarely gets to experience anything pleasurable with his mouth. Your skin is so soft and warm beneath his lips, his tongue, and he just has to bite at it. Din nibbles at your earlobe, feeling himself grow harder. “Let me take my time with you.”

“I’ve waited so long for you, Din. Please don’t make me wait,” you beg, slowly stroking his cock. A bead of precum forms on the tip and you swirl it around the head with the pad of your thumb.

Din can’t hold back anymore. He pushes your hand away and lines himself up to you with the free hand, two fingers circling your clit now. “You ready for me?” He groans.

“Yes, just fuck me,” you whimper and grab both sides of his head, pulling him to kiss you. It’s deep and hot and it grows sloppy as Din pushes into you, splitting you open on his deliciously thick cock. “Fuck,” you cry out at the sensation.

“You think you feel good?” He shivers and barely breathes out. “Feel so fuckin’ good around me, so hot and wet,” he shudders.

Din’s still standing, and he has more leverage as he thrusts all the way in, then pulls nearly all the way out. “Lay back,” he orders you, and you comply.

His second thrust is even deeper than the first as he pulls one of your legs over his shoulder, allowing him to already hit the deep spot inside of you. You whine and he smirks. “There we go. Good job, baby, keep making those noises for me,” he insists as he starts thrusting in and out of you.

He’s fucking good at this. It’s no surprise really, the way he knows your body masterfully. It’s almost as if you’re using The Force to guide him, but he’s just that fucking skilled. His tip drags against that sweet spot against you with every thrust, and Din pulls your hips to his with one hard thrust.

It’s so hot, the sound of Din’s skin slapping into yours, the way the skin of his thigh drags against yours. “Fuck,” you cry out as he presses his fingers a little harder against your clit, making the circles he draws slower and more deliberate.

“Knew you’d sound so good,” he grunts. “Knew you’d love it when I’m fucking you. When I get to take you like this. Don’t you?”

“Yeah,” you nod frantically. “I wish I could see you.”

“I know, cyare,” Din assures, even though his voice is breathless and strained. “Come on, baby, you feel so close, don’t you? I can feel it, the way your walls are getting tighter around me. You gonna be good and cum on me? I think you can.”

His words are just as arousing as his actions. “I will, please, I can feel it, just keep going and don’t stop,” you whimper. You take one of his hands, lacing his fingers through yours.

Din smiles at the gesture. It’s soft, intimate. He likes it as much as he loves the way you call him baby. “That’s my good baby,” he nods and pulls your hips a little off of the bunk, so that anything that spills from you will collect on the metal floor instead of the mattress.

It grows and grows in the pit of your stomach, and you can feel it. It’s coming and it’s coming hard. “Din, Din please,” you whine, one leg wrapping tight around his hip. “Fuck, I’m gonna,” your voice barely manages out before it washes over you, the feeling flowing through your body like a high in your veins. “Din,” you cry out as you cum, toes curling from the intensity. It spills from you, all over Din’s cock, dripping onto the floor.

“Oh, good job, cyare, fuckin’ Maker, you feel so good,” he groans. “I’m not gonna last much longer. Can I cum in you?” He asks, still checking up on you.

You nod. “Please, please baby,” you groan and squeeze the hand you’re holding tight. “Need to feel it.”

He nods too, though you can’t see it. “Okay, okay, I-“ a strangled cry comes from deep within his throat as he finally lets go, his cum pushing deep inside of you. “Fuck,” he murmurs, interjected by shouts of your name.

The both of you come down later, panting and covered in sweat. Din pulls out and a little bit of his cum drips from you, joining your own release on the floor. It’s so fucking hot that Din nearly cums again. “Stay right there,” he tells you, gently stroking your hip. “Don’t take the blindfold off.”

He comes back a few moments later with a damp rag, cleaning you up before cleaning up the mess the two of you made on the floor. He puts it with the laundry then climbs into the bed next to you, cuddling into your side. “Fuck, Din,” you giggle and press a kiss to whatever skin is in front of your face- his jaw. “You’re good at that.”

“Just felt so good,” he chuckles too. “You’re fantastic. I like it when you call me baby,” he admits.

You grin. “Then I’ll have to call you it all the time, baby,” you chuckle and kiss his lips softly. “Din?”

“Yes, ner k’arta?”

“Can we sleep like this?” You ask. “I promise I won’t look at your face or sneak anything, I mean it.”

Din chuckles quietly. “Of course we can. I trust you.”

You give a happy little noise and cuddle into his warm body, his strong arms surrounding you. “I like this. You’re so cuddly,” you admit with a small laugh.

“We can do this anytime you like,” he laughs too, kissing your forehead. “Whenever, wherever. If it’s with you, I’ll do anything.”

-

@remmysbounty @mishasminion360 @softly-sad @blo0dangel @luxurybeskar @binarydanvvers @sleep-tight1 @apascalrascal @randomness501 @spideysimpossiblegirl @notabotiswear @pedro-pastel @sanchosammy @lv7867

[whomst-art-thou-whomst-whomst]

Texts from the Lost Tomb part 6.1

🎶 Back on the bullshit I never got off🎶

Is this another unnecessary story arc?? With three sections??

Yes.

Wushanju Crew Chat

Wang Meng: You know, I’m someone who appreciates consistency in my day. My life is pleasant, very few issues indeed if you ignore the big ones. And yet. Yet here we are. With unresolved messes at the end of a day.

Wang Pangzi: SOMETHIN YOU NEED TO SAY MARY POPPINS

Wang Meng: We need to talk about Huo Daofu and the glittery bead curtain.

Wang Pangzi: MY FAVE TEEN WIZARD SERIES

Wu Xie: did you turn on that suggested word thingy lol

What glittery bead curtain

Wang Meng: I closed the shop at 6:00pm this evening on the dot. I locked all of the doors in and out of the shop very carefully, especially in light of recent events. The hall leading to the back office was empty. I filed the day’s paperwork, updated and sent emails, and then spent an extra hour organizing receipts and dusting. When I came back out, there were glittery iridescent bead curtains over the front entrance to the shop.

What could this mean?

Wu Xie: uh that you need to spend less time at work?

Wang Pangzi: LOOKS LIKE WE GOT ONE FOR THE DETECTIVES. THE MYSTERY OF THE BEDAZZLED THRESHOLD COMMENCES

Wu Xie: I think we can be relatively secure in thinking a glittery bead curtain isn’t a hostile threat

Wang Pangzi: SAYS YOU

I REMEMBER YE OLDE EXPLORATION TIMES HOW FAST THINGS GOT FURIOUS

BEANBAG CHAIRS SET AFLAME AND LEFT ON DOORSTEPS AS A WARNING

GLITTERBOMBS FOR DAYS

PANIC AT THE DISCO

Wang Meng: Ugh, forget it. I should have just taken them down, regardless of who they belong to.

Zhang Qiling: They are not mine.

Wang Pangzi: A BOLD STATEMENT COMING FROM OUR PRIME SUSPECT

SOMEONE QUICK GO DRAW CHALK AROUND THE DOORWAY TO MARK THE SCENE OF THE CRIME

Wang Meng: Do we know anyone who *would* sneak in and put those up? For whatever reason, legal or not? Even as a joke?

Wang Pangzi: ARE YOU SERIOUSLY ASKING WHETHER WE KNOW ANYONE WHO IS CHAOTIC, AN OUTLAW, A PRANKSTER AND/OR SNEAKS INTO PLACES

BECAUSE THAT WOULD MEAN OUR SUSPECT LIST IS LITERALLY EVERYONE WE KNOW EXCEPT FOR YOU.

Wu Xie: okay let’s think about this; for starters, I didn’t break into my own shop

Wang Meng: You would be in danger of doing some work in the process, that’s true.

Wang Pangzi: LOL

Wu Xie: ANYWAY let’s keep going. For example, Xiao Ge would only break in somewhere for a good reason. Xiao Ge, did you do this?

Zhang Qiling: No.

Wu Xie: okay who’s next

Wang Pangzi: YOU REALLY MISSED YOUR CALLING IN INTERROGATION TIANZHEN

REALLY PUT THE SCREWS TO HIM

IN MORE WAYS THAN ONE;)

Zhang Qiling: How can we be certain *you* didn’t do it?

Wang Meng: Admittedly that was my guess, too.

Wang Pangzi: WOW I SEE HOW IT IS

BLAME PANGZI AS USUAL

ANYWAY HOW DOES HUO DAOFU FIT INTO THIS

Wu Xie: Oh yeah him! Oops I got distracted

Wang Pangzi: UR ENTIRE HISTORY IN A NUTSHELL

Wu Xie: Ugh fuck off

Wang Meng what abt Huo Daofu??

Zhang Qiling: ?

Wu Xie: oh sorry xiaoge I didn’t realize you wouldn’t have spent much time around him last year

He and I go way back

Zhang Qiling: Way back where?

Babysitters Club Chat

Wang Pangzi: I CANNOT BELIEVE HE IS BUYING YOUR INNOCENT ACT

IF YOU EVER TURN TO EVIL WE ARE FUCKED

Zhang Qiling: ?

Wang Pangzi: YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHO HUO DAOFU IS

YOU WERE EXTREMELY POLITE AND BORDERLINE FRIENDLY TOWARDS HIM

Zhang Qiling: I wanted him to feel welcome. I wanted to be sure he understands he has a place here. A specific place.

Wang Pangzi: FOR A SILENT GUY YOU ARE A MASTER AT SUBTLE POWER PLAYS IM ALL TINGLY

LMAO THE IDEA OF WU XIE LEAVING YOU FOR HUO DAOFU IS HILARIOUS AND ALSO NOPE

Zhang Qiling: Rationally, I understand that.

Main Chat

Wang Meng: Huo Daofu is coming for the weekend—didn’t Wu Xie tell you? Wu Xie asked me to check in a week ahead so we could start getting ready for his arrival

Wu Xie: oh yeah I did do that

Wang Meng: Fortunately I know you and so I already went ahead and took care of everything.

Re: the trip

He made a deal with Wu Xie’s doctor that he would do periodic checkups on him here at Wushanju

Bc Wu Xie hates being in the hospital

And frankly the hospital hates him too

Wang Pangzi: FAMILIARITY BREEDS CONTEMPT LOL

I FORGOT HUO DAOFU WAS DOING THAT

A VERY CHIVALROUS GESTURE

WOULDNT YOU SAY

XIOAGE

Zhang Qiling: Is it safe for him to be here with a criminal loose on the premises?

Wu Xie: Right, back to the curtain! Let’s focus on the curtain, hmm?

Wang Pangzi: I AM SO LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS WEEKEND.

ALSO WE CAN RULE OUT XIAO BAI FOR THE CURTAIN SHE JUST SENT A SELFIE FROM NORWAY COVERED IN GREEN SLIME WITH ZERO CONTEXT, UR PROTEGE INDEED

Wu Xie: okay but who else would do something so oddly charming yet illegal and—wait.

Snake Eyes Chat

Wu Xie: hey, Glasses hasn’t been in touch lately right?

Li Cu: uh nope

Unless u count the outdated memes

Why, is money or Xie Yuchen missing

Or is this curtain related, I saw Wang Meng’s tweet

Wu Xie: haha no nothing to worry about really

(I mean maybe? but who knows)

Wang Meng is probably just getting a little paranoid in his old age

Li Cu: better than getting reckless and stupid as hell in ur old age

Wu Xie: …hey:(

Unknown Number: Li Cu, we discussed this.

Wu Xie: ????????

Li Cu: *sigh* fine, reckless and stupid as heck

Unknown Number: …close enough.

Wu Xie: EXCUSE who is that

Madame, Sir, Non-Binary Tree Spirit, etc—whomst the fuck

Are you

Li Cu is underage FYI

So Im staying on this chat

Li Cu: okay first of all, it’s not like that

Second of all I’m literally not underage I s2g

u threw the embarrassing surprise bday party, okay so u should remember

And C, that’s my counselor and I invited her. She wanted to meet u and I knew u wouldn’t agree to a visit so I added her to our chat

we have been discussing u

Wu Xie: Oh wow!!!!!!!

What a surprise:)

hi so nice to meet you:)

Main Chat:

Wu Xie: RED FUCKING ALERT

FUCK THE CURTAIN FUCK THE VISIT

IVE BEEN TRICKED INTO FAMILY THERAPY BY A SMUG TEENAGER WHO TEXTS UNKNOWN NUMBERS

Wang Meng: I assume that means something to someone here?

Not my problem? Good.

Wang Pangzi: AHAHAHA GOD I LOVE LI CU

HES LIKE ADORABLE KARMA FOR ALL THE SHIT YOUVE PUT ME THROUGH

IM RAISING HIS ALLOWANCE

Wu Xie: wait i give him an allowance

has he been collecting on two allowances??

Zhang Qiling: Three. I knew about both of yours.

Snake Eyes Chat

Wu Xie: so uh may I ask your name?

Unknown Number: you can call me Ms. Lee.

Now, if you’re comfortable talking in this format, why don’t you tell me how things have been going?

Wu Xie: oh everything is normal and fine and safe as usual, why do you ask:)

Li Cu: I heard about ur necklace thing. nice of you to NOT mention it.

another dangerous adventure. again. prick.

Ur lucky your cool boyfriend cares about you so much or you’d have already died like ten years ago

Wu Xie: lol try twenty years ago

Li Cu: That isn’t funny.

Unknown Number: …What?

Wu Xie: shit ur right, okay that was a bit glib, my apologies.

…I use humor as a coping mechanism?

Unknown Number: and Li Cu, how do you feel about that?

Li Cu: he doesn’t even know what that phrase means

He doesn’t cope, like ever

In fact

It’s kind of why we met

Which is a funny story in retrospect tbh

Wu Xie: haha what are you talking about sweetie hahaha need I remind you of certain anecdotes that could idk send me to jail maybe lmao

Unknown Number: …You know, perhaps an in-person meeting might be more effective?

Wu Xie: haha such a nice idea but why

Main Chat

Wu Xie: If I go to jail, I’ll have to create alliances for protection, right, that’s how it works on tv

Who do we know who spends time in jail

Other than Hei Yangjing, he’s only ever there for like 12 hours and i suspect he just gets himself arrested bc he enjoys the breaking out process

Also how’s the curtain case coming along

Zhang Qiling: Has someone threatened you?

Wu Xie: well not yet but soon I’m sure

Wang Pangzi: WHERE WAS THIS PARANOIA WHEN WE GOT TAKEN TO THE TEA HOUSE HUH

Snake Eyes Minus Your Fucking Therapist Chat

Li Cu: okay how tf did u pull off spy and undercover shit

u are sus as hell

Wu Xie: damn son is it pick on Wu Xie night

I missed the flyers or I would’ve invited my uncles

Also re: the curtain it’s been mostly solved

Li Cu: I’m not your son, idiot.

Wu Xie: …oh. Sorry, sorry, you’re right, bad choice of words, haha

Forget i said anything

Delete this chat even

Li Cu: shit I meant

Legally, biologically, I meant—

shit

…I turn into an asshole as a coping mechanism?

Wu Xie: oh that’s all okay! I have to go do something else now let me know if you need anything okay kid thanks!

Li Cu: goddamn it calm down who’s the kid here

lemme organize my thoughts so I can articulate my emotions fuckin healthily or w/e

Ugh maybe for like one afternoon we could go to Ms. Lee together? She knows how to word stuff

Wu Xie: uh…okay.

Li Cu: Anyway you don’t need to worry abt jail

As if you would survive prison for one day you’d piss off half the place in like an hour or less

I gave Ms. Lee the heavily edited version of the desert highway to hell roadtrip and i discussed it more in terms of like “nightmarish but still wouldn’t take any of it back”

Well maybe the sand

that shit was everywhere

Wu Xie: oh kiddo. It’s fine, really…You don’t have to explain yourself to me.

Li Cu: no, no it’s just

I do technically have a dad

who is an asshole. Being a son doesn’t really mean shit to me bc it sucked.

So you need to stop backing down just cuz ur guilty abt stuff. I’m really really glad ur not my dad in a good way. Do u get what I mean there

Where’s the mafia widower I followed into hell, huh

Wu Xie: Ur a good kid, despite my influence. I’m really glad you have someone to talk to after everything I…after everything. Wow this talking through feelings thing is kind of weird but nice ur right

Jfc no wonder it took me and xiaoge so long to—you know what, we won’t get into that

Li Cu: ew tmi

Also re: this week’s recent necklace fuckery

I moved my stuff here, I live here now

So you can’t die anymore

Or else…Idk I don’t have a threat planned

anyways abt the curtain

Wu Xie: oh my god, kid…kid you have no idea

I am in tears.

Li Cu: see this is why I can’t be nice to you I can sense the hallmark channel from here

Ugh don’t be sad in ur room that’s dumb

Go hug Pangzi or something

Maybe delete this chat

Or the curtain thing

Focus on the curtain thing

Just stfu and go away

Wu Xie: <3 screenshotting this <3

Li Cu: I take back everything I said. This is why Xiao Ge sleeps on the roof. I hope the ghosts of the Wangs put up that curtain to strangle you somehow. Go die in a stupid way, it’ll suit you.

Wu Xie: lol don’t worry I’m not gonna embarrass you with it or anything

Main Chat

Wu Xie: omg guys look how cute my kid is *sending screenshot*

Wang Pangzi: I MEAN

HE IS WISHING YOU DEATH

BUT SURE

CUTE I GUESS

Wu Xie: no but read the whole thing:):):)

Zhang Qiling: It is indeed very hard to remain angry with you. And you are welcome to join me on the roof.

Wang Pangzi: UH NOPE

NOT WHENI HAD TO BLEACH THE COUNTER IN THE KITCHEN

DONT TRAUMATIZE THE EARLY BIRDS THEYRE ALREADY FREAKED OUT BY U YA HOODIE CRYPTID

Wu Xie: ok true but babe ur like a sexy cryptid

Wang Meng: so, are we just accepting that there is a glittery curtain of unknown origin, and Huo Daofu is going to have to see it while he’s waiting for you at Wushanju bc you’re going to family therapy?

Wu Xie: right

Wang Pangzi: SHOULDA TAKEN EARLY RETIREMENT HUH

Wang Meng: I’m going to go dust something.

Unnamed Chat:

Unknown number: so the curtain…

Unknown number 2: yep, not my best work but I kinda panicked last minute u know

Unknown number: what is in the water at Wushanju that makes everyone dumb and attractive

Unknown number 2: relax they’ll figure it out

[marveloussupernerd]

Could I pretty please request Zen and MC ~platonically~ getting hammered together and just getting into shenanigans? I’m a ✨lesbian✨ and still reslly would love to have these characters as best friends, especially zen because he seems like such a ride or die. If I could have one wish it would be getting plastered with Zen and him making sure I don’t die. Thank you in advance and feel free to reject this one lol

Yes !!! Ofc I can do that :) also I have literally never rejected a request LMAO I’m here for your enjoyment. I’m rlly excited to write this bc everyone is SLEEPING on zen and also ?? The Zen friendship content in Jumin’s route? I’ll never shut up about how much I love it. Also I threw Yoosung in here too pls don’t hate me

Clubbing - Platonic! Zen

Warnings: alcohol (duh lmao)

Summary: you’ve had a rough day at work. Zen’s been meaning to show you around to some of his favorite bars. Zen’s responsible but also wouldn’t hesitate to punch a bitch if need be. Yoosung has to clean up after your messes

Oh! Also. PSA, I’m 19. So have I ever gone out and gotten drunk... no LMAO. I do drink (it’s legal where I’m at as long as you’re with your parents, still wouldn’t be able to drink in a bar though) but only enough to get buzzed usually. Anyway if this is inaccurate that’s why I am so sorry LMAO

You honestly had had the worst day today. It was a pretty bad week, truth be told, and you were so grateful it was the weekend. You texted Zen a lot throughout this week; the two of you had become close friends since the RFA party and hung out almost every weekend. Hearing all about your bad days, he suggested taking you to a bar to let off some steam and give you something to look forward to. You’d never turn down a drink.

You took an Uber to the bar, as did Zen. You expressed your desire to get plastered and Zen agreed wholeheartedly. You had never been to this bar before, but Zen swore by it, so you trusted him.

“Hey!” Zen exclaimed as he saw you get out of the car. He was leaning against the wall of the bar coolly, dressed in the leather jacket he must have pulled out of his closet from the time he was in a motorcycle gang.

“This better be worth the commute,” you teased, not letting him live down the fact that it took almost an hour to get here (primarily due to traffic honestly).

“Oh it will,” he had a giant grin on his face. “I’ve been so busy I haven’t been here in a while, but i doubt it’s changed.” He pushed himself off the wall and made his way inside alongside you. “It’s right outside of a college so you get all the fun college students here.”

“Sounds messy,” you commented, glancing at some girls in skimpy crop tops and high-waisted shorts getting drunk already.

“Much better than bars for real adults. You’ve always got some guy moping over a glass of whiskey in those. Here, it’s all singing and dancing and getting drunk. Of course, I only come when I want to get completely hammered, but it’s always fun. The kids are nice too.”

It was at this point that you reminded yourself that Zen was only 23. He seemed so much older because he’s been on his own for so long, but nope, he was 23. The same age as a lot of the grad students here. So partying with them was not weird or creepy in any sort of way. In fact, the students probably were over the moon to party with someone so famous and, if they weren’t aware of who he was, handsome.

“So what do you typically start with here?” You asked, wanting to get the full experience.

“Shots. Classic move, especially for the med school students. You’ll see them soon enough. They start off with fireball but then make their way down to the cheapest vodka they have as they get more drunk and can’t actually taste it.”

“Let’s follow their influence,” you suggested. Zen went up to the bar and ordered some shots, bringing four glasses back with him. “Do they normally do two at once?” You asked.

“Nah, they’re way too broke for that. But I thought it’d be fun.” He handed you your shot glass and clinked his against it. You gulped down the shot, feeling the familiar fire burn in your throat. (I love fireball LMAO) You shook your head vigorously to counteract the burn, as though that would help, then looked back at Zen. “Good?” He asked.

“Perfect. Round 2?”

“Already?”

You laughed. “Well, it’s here isn’t it? The faster we can get drunk the better.”

You got drunk pretty fast. Zen was constantly handing you drinks, which of course you didn’t turn down. Maybe it was because the two of you hadn’t gotten drunk in a while, but this one hit you hard.

“Will you sing karaoke with me?” Zen chuckled, his cheeks flushed from all the alcohol in his system.

You laughed out loud. “Sure. I’ll even let you pick the song.”

You did not expect him to pick “Before He Cheats” but honestly? A banger of a song. Who doesn’t know all the words to this song?? “Hey, I’m Zen, and this is my best friend,” he slurred out, introducing you before the song started.

You sang in unison, the first instrumental break coming out. “This is for my asshole ex!” You cheered. The college students cheered with you.

“And all my old managers who told me I’d never make it!” Zen added. Everyone cheered again. You walked over to him, tripping on the microphone cord. He caught you a few inches off the ground.

“That would’ve hurt like a bitch,” you commented, bursting into laughter again. He helped you up and held your hand as you crossed over the wires this time, ensuring you wouldn’t get caught again.

Was your performance good? Probably not. Even Zen, who usually sang pretty well, was some sort of hot mess since he was so drunk. But the drunk students seemed to enjoy it, so you padded off the ‘stage’, proud of yourself.

Some dude called your name. Ew. Maybe Zen shouldn’t have introduced you.

Zen whipped around to face him. “If you so much as look at her right now I swear to God I’ll knock you into- Yoosung?”

“Hi!” You turned around to see the origin of the voice; it was indeed Yoosung. “You guys are kinda drunk.”

The two of you simply laughed, brushing him off. “What are you doing here?” Zen asked.

“Oh, well I live right down the street.”

“Oh my goodness you are a college student!” You observed keenly. You were connecting so many dots.

“Yup. Uh, I had an LOLOL event tonight but was super tired, so I thought I’d come and take a shot and it’d help wake me up. Never expected to see you two belting out Carrie Underwood.” He scratched the back of his neck awkwardly.

“Oh! I have a great idea,” Zen exclaimed, focusing his attention on you.

“I’d love to hear it.”

“Why don’t we just crash at Yoosung’s place tonight? We won’t have to pay for an Uber at high time and get stuck in traffic!”

Yoosung’s eyes widened. “But-“

“That’s pretty smart,” you agreed, nodding. “What do you think Yoosung?”

“I-“ he sighed. “I guess it’s okay. As long as I can play LOLOL.”

“Yay!” You cheered. “We can go now. Lead the way.”

Yoosung hesitantly led you out to the street, walking ahead of the two of you, glancing back every few seconds to ensure you hadn’t died. Zen wrapped an arm around you and you one around him, and you stumbled down the street together, only slightly more stable than you would have been if it were just you on your own.

Luckily Yoosung lived on the first floor. You weren’t sure you’d be able to do steps right now. He unlocked the door to his apartment. “I only have like... a bed and a couch,” he muttered awkwardly. “But we can figure something out.”

You stepped into his apartment, looking around. “Wow Yoosung! This is cute as hell.”

“Uh, thanks, I think.”

You made your way to his couch and collapsed down on it. Zen did so on the other end of the couch at the same time, your legs bumping into each other. You both shifted so that your legs were on top of his so that it was more comfortable.

“Is that really comfortable? You can take my bed,” Yoosung offered.

“Nah, this is great. Will you get us a blankie though?” You asked. Yoosung left to go find something. Zen shrugged off his leather jacket. You were very happy you wore something comfy enough to crash in.

Yoosung draped a blanket over the two of you, his face bright red. “Is this okay?”

“Perfect! Thanks Dad,” Zen joked. Yoosung’s face got even more red, his ears heating up now too.

“Night Yoosungie. Don’t stay up all night,” you commented, shutting your eyes.

You heard something set down on the coffee table. Cups of water and Advil. He was too sweet. “I have class in the morning, so feel free to see yourself out whenever you’re up and ready tomorrow,” Yoosung said. “Goodnight you two.” He chuckled to himself. You and Zen probably looked like absolute idiots, but not that you cared. You had a great night out. Good thing Dad Yoosung was there too.

[damianwaynerocks]

Tim Drake & The Good Samaritan

hi i wrote something on ao3 so here it is

Description: Tim Drake tries to kill himself, whenever a therapist just so happens to stumble upon him. Tim opens up to her and realizes that maybe he's worth more than he thinks.

Warning: Suicide attempt, depression

dedicating this to @super-sons-a-bitches bc what a supportive mutual

_

He was done.

Tim Drake was done.

He'd known for a while what was true and what was not. Was he a good son? Not true. Was he simply a placeholder between Jason and Damian? True. Did anybody truly love him? Not true. Was he simply a burden? True.

Did he deserve to be alive? Definitely not true.

Tonight had been the last straw.

It had been him, Damian and Dick. They were going to bust a human trafficking operation. Tim had been paying attention, he would swear that up and down, but it wasn't enough. He had accidentally kicked a rock, and the traffickers noticed right as they started to pull into Gotham Harbor. With a yell of several crew members, the ship turned back around, into the open sea.

Where the brothers could not get them.

Damian was furious. "You incompetent fice!" he had snarled, "We almost had them! We were going to save fifty women and children, Drake, fifty!"

"You should've been more careful," Dick added, his arms crossed, "You scared them off." Dick never scolded like this. He only did it whenever he was truly upset.

And it was Tim's fault.

"I'm sorry!" he said, Dick clenched his jaw.

"Go home, Red Robin," he ordered. Tim stepped back.

"Good riddance, we'll be much better off without you, Drake," Damian sneered.

We'll be much better off without you.

Those were the words ringing in Tim's ears as he swung from building to building. The wind was whistling through his hair, and usually, it invigorated Tim.

But not tonight.

Tonight, it just reminded him of what he didn't deserve.

All he did was mess things up. He'd messed things up with Stephanie. He'd messed up not only this mission but countless missions beforehand. He'd even messed up his goddamn immune system, now that he didn't have a spleen.

Tim knew he wasn't enough. He wasn't enough to make his father, Jack Drake, proud of him. He wasn't enough to make his other father, Bruce Wayne, proud of him either. He wasn't good enough to be Robin, either. Dick had made that clear whenever he'd ripped the title away from him as soon as he laid eyes on Damian, even after he had tried to kill Tim.

Dick probably wished that Damian had succeeded, Tim thought, because Dick would have his Robin, and nobody would have to deal with Tim.

Tim decided at that moment that he was going to take it upon himself to finish what Damian hadn't been able to do.

He was going to kill himself.

Tim landed on the roof of an apartment building. He took out his earpiece, which doubled as a tracking device, throwing it on the ground and stomping on it. If he was going to die, he at least wanted to do it without Damian's voice in his ear.

How to do it? Tim thought. He knew some heroes kept cyanide pills on them in case they were ever captured, but Bruce had refused to allow that. Tim could jump off of the roof, but he was worried that he'd lose his nerve and grapple to safety before he could reach the ground.

There was only one way that he could think of.

Tim pulled off his gloves one at a time, letting them land on the ground. He took a Batarang, razor-sharp, out of his utility belt, and held it to his wrist. He took a deep breath, excited. He would finally be free. He would be free from the pain, from the knowledge that he was worthless. Better yet, his family would be free of him.

We'll be much better off without you.

With a small smile, Tim started to slide the blade across his wris-

"No!"

Tim whirled around, now poised to throw the Batarang. Hey, just because Tim was going to die, didn't mean he was going to let someone else die first. His eyes slid around the rooftop, looking for danger, but he only saw a woman.

She looked to be around Bruce's age, but there was something about her that was completely different than Bruce; her eyes had feeling in them.

"Please don't do it, Red Robin," the woman urged, "Please. Please stay."

"No," Tim replied stiffly. The woman took a deep breath.

"Okay," she said slowly, "But will you please have a cup of tea with me first? It isn't every day I get to meet a hero.

A hero. She thought he was a hero.

But she was wrong.

Before he could stop himself, he had thrown himself in her arms. She wrapped them around him, holding him tightly.

Tim gripped the lady's shoulders as hard as he dared- God, he didn't even know her name and he was crying on her shoulder -as she ran her fingers through his hair.

"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked gently. Tim shakes his head, choking back another sob.

"I don't want to think about it anymore," he croaked. The woman nodded.

"Okay," she said, "Then are you any good at geometry?"

Tim sniffed, then replied, "Yeah." The woman smiled.

"Would you mind helping my son, then? He's a freshman at Southwest High, and he's having trouble with his homework right now. And I think you could really help him."

You could really help him.

Tim nodded, shakily stepping back from the woman. She smiled warmly, grasping his hand as she led him off of the roof and down the stairs. "My name's Emira," she introduced herself, "But you can call me Emma. All of my friends do."

Friend.

"My name's-" he broke off, unsure of what he should say. Emma seemed to understand his hesitation.

"You don't have to tell me your real name," she assured him, "How about I call you Red?" Tim smiled weakly, and Emma took that to mean he agreed. "Alright, Red, here's the door." she fished a key out of her pocket, and opened the door to her apartment, Tim following.

The first thing he noticed was the Cross. There was a portrait of Jesus Christ on the Cross sitting above their table.

The table which had a young boy, around Damian's age, sitting at it, his brows scrunched in concentration.

"Hey, Danny!" Emma said, flashing her son a brilliant smile, "I found you a tutor!"

"Mom, I don't need a-" Danny stopped talking as he turned around, his jaw dropped. "Red Robin!?" he squeaked, "You're my favorite hero! And you're in my house!" he jumped up, smiling so wide it was almost unsettling, "You're the coolest! Holy crap!"

You're the coolest.

"Hi, Danny!" Tim greeted, putting on the smile he used for paparazzi.  "It's nice to meet you! So your mom says you need help with geometry?"

It took ten minutes, but Emma and Tim finally wrangled Danny to the table, where Tim was now helping him.

"See, you just gotta remember SohCahToa," Tim explained, "It's the easiest way to remember sine, cosine, and tangent."

Danny stuck his tongue out slightly in a way that reminded him of Damian. Tim's heart sank at the realization, all of his positive feelings sank with it.

We'll be much better off without you.

"Thanks, Red Robin!" Danny said excitedly after he'd finished his assignment and Tim had double-checked it, making sure that all of the answers were correct.

"Okay, Danny," Emma spoke up from where she'd been silently watching the two, "It's eleven. Time for bed."

"But Mom Red Robin is here-"

"You know what else is here? A big test tomorrow. You need your sleep."

Danny sighed, before looking at Tim and fishing his phone out of his pocket. "Do you mind if we take a picture? My friends will never believe I met the coolest of the Bat People!"

The coolest of the Bat People.

"Of course, Danny!" Tim replied, ruffling the kid's hair. After five minutes of multiple selfies on Snapchat, Danny gave Tim a hug, which Tim returned without hesitation.

"Goodnight!" Danny chirped and walked to what Tim presumed to be his bedroom.

After hearing the door shut, Emma turned to the hero. "Now, how do you like your tea?"

"Earl Gray, please."

As Emma set the kettle on the stove, she turned back to Tim. "He adores you," she said, referring to her son, "He wasn't lying. You mean so much to him."

You mean so much to him.

Tim sighed, putting his head in his hands. "Yeah, well, he's the only one then," he muttered. Emma waited for him to continue, and when he didn't, she spoke.

"I'm a therapist, you know," she stated, "So I can't tell anybody anything you say. HIPPA violation, jail time, huge fine and all that."

"This isn't an official session, so it doesn't apply."

Emma shrugged. "Maybe not legally, but if anybody gets wind of me telling anybody anything someone tells me in confidence, my clients will stop trusting me and stop coming, So my point's still there."

Tim bit his lip, looking up. This woman didn't know who he was, and judging from the average apartment, she had no connections to Bruce, which meant she wouldn't tell him- not that he'd care, of course, but still. Besides, it isn't like he'd ever see her again. "Maybe... maybe it wouldn't hurt."

Emma smiled warmly. "I promise, it won't," she turned back to the kettle as it whistled, and she poured the tea into two cups. Walking over to the table, she handed one to Tim, before sitting down herself. "Can I ask what led up to tonight?"

Tim looked down at his tea, not meeting her eyes. "I messed up bad tonight," he whispered, "Real bad."

"What do you think you did?"

"I-" Tim swallowed a gulp, "Nightwing and Robin and I were going to bust a human trafficking ring. Their ship was about to pull into the harbor, but I wasn't being careful enough. I knew they had motion detectors around the area, but I still wasn't paying attention enough not to kick a rock," He ran a hand through his hair, "And of course they saw, and they got away. And it was my fault."

"Who told you that it was your fault?"

"Nightwing and Robin."

Emma reached across the table to clasp his left hand in her right. "Tell me, Red, has Nightwing or Robin ever messed up a mission?"

Tim paused. There was one time where Dick was arguing with Jason, and Dick pushed Jason into the warehouse they were staking out, ruining any chance at catching a serial rapist for months. And then there was the time where Damian had been too hasty and let a serial killer get away because he refused to listen for Nightwing's signal. "Yeah, a few times," Tim finally said.

"See?" Emma said with another one of her warm smiles, "They aren't perfect either. So why do you have to be?"

They aren't perfect either.

"Because!" Tim groaned, "Batman chose them. He wanted them to be apart of the hero business. Me? I forced him to make me Robin. Nobody chose me. I wasn't wanted!"

"How old were you when you became Robin?"

"Like, eleven."

"Do you honestly think that Batman couldn't have simply wiped an eleven-year old's brain and sent him home if he didn't see something special in you?"

See something special in you.

Tim took a sip of his tea. "I... I guess not. But still! The Robin before me had just... quit. Batman probably just used me as a distraction from the pain of it. I was just a placeholder."

Emma took a sip of her own tea, thinking. "A placeholder? Because there's a new Robin?"

"Yes," Tim confirmed, "Exactly. I was Robin for a while, but as soon as Batman and Nightwing found someone else who had already been trained, who was Batman's... nephew," he paused, "They got rid of me! They made me stop being Robin! Nightwing retired, the other one quit, but me? I didn't have a choice!"

"And why do you think that-"

"And the worst part!?" Tim interrupted her, "This new kid? He tried to kill me! He had a sword and he was trying to kill me because he thought he deserved the title just because he was Batman's nephew! And he never got in trouble for it! They rewarded him with what he wanted!" he stopped nervously. "Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt you." Emma waved her hand dismissively.

"Don't worry about it," she paused she took a sip of her tea, "Do you think there could be any possible reason as to why they made him Robin?"

Tim snorted. "Yeah, I know exactly why. They liked him better than me. He was better than me at fighting. He wasn't as scared as I was at first," he laughed bitterly, "Honestly, Emma? I think the reason they rewarded him was because he had the guts to do what the others were too apprehensive to do; get rid of me."

"Can I tell you what I think might have had something to do with it?" Emma asked, and Tim nodded his permission. "It sounds like this new Robin has a lot of rage. Do you think that maybe Batman and Nightwing knew that he needed an outlet for that and that the safest way to do that might be if they could keep an eye on him?"

"I... guess," Tim admitted begrudgingly, "But still! They didn't punish him or anything!"

"How are you so sure? Did you see what happened after?"

Tim bit his lip again. "I mean, not really? I left whenever Nightwing told me I couldn't be Robin anymore." he shook his head. "Even if maybe Nightwing didn't see any other way, that doesn't explain why they treat me like shit now."

"How so?" Emma asked, giving his hand a reassuring squeeze.

"Like, I'll be gone on a mission for weeks and when I get back, they hadn't even noticed I was gone!" Tim counted off the reasons on his fingers, "Or when it's clear I'm upset, nobody bothers to ask! And nobody ever reprimands Robin for all the terrible things to me! And all Batman does it tell me what I do wrong!"

"What things does Robin say to you?"

"Oh, you know," Tim rolled his eyes, "That I'm useless. That I'm slow. I’m abysmal. Just today, like an hour ago, he said that everyone would be better off if I was gone. I hate that he has this much power over me, but his words won't leave my head; we'll be much better off without you."

"Well, I can tell you right now that Danny wouldn't be," Emma said, "Because if he had failed that assignment, he would've gotten detention, and I wouldn't have time to pick up his new inhaler."

"Danny has asthma?" Tim asked with a frown. Emma nodded.

"Yes, but it's okay now because I'll be able to get the medicine. Now, back to you. Do you think that the reason Robin is so mean to you is that he's insecure?"

"Robin? Insecure?" Tim snorted, "As if. He's the most arrogant person I know."

"The most insecure people are almost always the most arrogant. Is there anything he would have to be insecure about? Maybe that... he's intimidated by you?"

That made Tim laugh out loud. Damian? Intimidated by Tim? Never. "Definitely not."

"Are you sure? Because it sounds like he just wants to prove that he's just as good as you," Emma countered, "Or maybe- not saying that it's your fault because you definitely don't deserve to be treated like that-"

You don't deserve to be treated like that.

"Maybe you haven't tried to show him that you don't want to be enemies?"

Tim took a sip of his tea. "I mean, yeah, I don't want our relationship to be like this. I'd love to be close to him. I was so excited when I first heard about him- before I met him, obviously -because I was finally getting a younger brother."

"Have you ever let him know that?"

"I guess not," Tim said with a frown, "But it doesn't really matter. He won't care. None of them will, even if they did know I'm hurting."

"Why don't you try?" Emma offered, "It couldn't hurt, right?"

"Yeah, except then they'll think I'm even weaker than they thought. They'll think I'm pathetic, and then Batman will make me stop being Red Robin, too." His grip around his cup tightened. "And then they'd kick me out. And I live with Batman, Emma. I don't have a place to go."

"You could come here," Emma offered, "I really don't think they'd kick you out, but if you're right, you are absolutely welcome here. I promise. You're wonderful company, Red."

You're wonderful company.

Tim sighed. "Thanks, that means a lot, but you don't have to lie," his bottom lip trembled, "I know I'm worthless. I don't matter. All I do is screw up."

The pair were silent for a minute, the only noise being Tim's tears falling into his cup of tea. Emma was the first one to break the silence.

"Say, do you happen to be the first Robin that wore pants?"

Tim sniffled. "Yeah." Emma's face broke into another warm smile.

"Well, that Robin saved my life. Two men were dragging me into an alley, whenever you stopped them. Without Batman, I might add."

Tim blinked. "Without Batman?" he whispered.

Emma nodded. "Without Batman. All on your own, Red. If it weren't for you, I'd probably be dead, and Danny would be an orphan."

Tim smiled weakly. "It wasn't a problem, really."

"I know it wasn't, because that's what you do. You save people," she gave him another reassuring squeeze. "Now, Red, have you ever been in a position where Batman or Nightwing saved you?"

That's what you do. You save people.

"Yeah," Tim answered, once again not meeting her eyes, "I was locked in a warehouse. A bomb was strapped to me, about to go off. Batman came in and- and I've never seen him like that. So... a mess," he paused, "I haven't thought about that in a while. I guess that means he cares."

"That definitely means he cares," Emma corrected him. Tim smiled, but it was replaced by a frown as he began to sob again.

"Maybe he did then, but now- now he has his new Robin. He doesn't care, none of them do," he blinked back tears, "I don't have anything to look forward to. My days are filled with insults and complaints. There's nothing good." His hands shaking, he took another sip of his Earl Gray.

"Then look forward to this," Emma said, "Every week. Eat dinner with Danny and I, and then when he goes to bed we can drink tea and talk some. And if you ever, and I mean ever, need a place to crash, you can always come here."

If Tim thought he'd run out of tears before, he was wrong. He started crying again. Nobody had been so nice, so warm to him, in years.

Emma got up and enveloped him in another hug. "Will you promise me something, Red?" she whispered, and at Tim's nod, she continued. "Promise me you'll tell your family how you feel, okay? And promise me you'll come back and tell me next week. And if you need something from me between then and now, promise me that you'll come, okay?"

"I promise," Tim agreed, sobbing into her shirt.

The next thirty minutes were spent with Tim wrapped up in Emma's arm, still in full Red Robin uniform minus the gloves, watching Star Wars: The Phantom Menace. Tim hadn't been so at peace in as long as he could remember. His mom had always been distant, and Catwoman wasn't exactly a mother figure, so honestly? Being curled up in Emma was the closest he'd ever gotten to feeling a mother's love.

He would go back to the Manor after the movie, he told himself. He would tell them how he felt. He would try to mend his relationship with Damian. But first, he was going to soak in the feeling of a mother's embrace.

He was still nervous about it, but little did he know. Little did he know that Dick would break down crying and hug him, whispering apology after apology into his ear. Little did he know that Bruce would be riddled with guilt because how could he not have noticed that his son was hurting and would tell him he loved him so much. Little did he know that Damian, although he didn't show how much he regretted his harsh words, would shake Tim's hand and agree to try. Little did he know that every Thursday after he would have dinner and tea with Emma and Danny, to the point that he would reveal his secret identity to the family and make sure that Danny was enrolled at Gotham Academy. Little did he know that it wouldn't take long for Emma to start seeing him as another son, and she would not be scared to tell him how much she loved him and how proud of him she was.

Tim would find out these things later. But for now?

Tim just let himself sink into a mother's embrace.

[omegasshyghuleh6661ghosts]

Prompt List

1: Person A is pregnant and is trying to get Person B to talk to the baby; Person B feels self-conscious, silly, ridiculous, etc. talking to A’s belly, and at first begins speaking jokingly, but soon gets very involved.  Bonus points if A gets emotional.

2: Imagine person a of your otp is pregnant. they’re not very far along yet so they haven’t told person b. one night when a thinks b’s asleep they mumble something about what a great parent b will be.

3: Imagine Person A coming home from work only to find Person B and their kid(s) all cuddled up under a blanket fort, fast asleep  [X]

4: Imagine person A of your OTP approaching person B really nervously to talk to them about something. B is unsure what to make of this until A finally comes out with what they wanted to talk about: they would like a child.

5: Imagine your OTP rushing to the hospital to see their niece/nephew being born.

6: Imagine your OTP’s child catching them dancing together like dorky parents.

7: Imagine that Person A is heavily pregnant and is laying on the couch. Person B comes and gives A a smooch on their belly, but at the exact spot and time where they kiss, the baby gives a huge kick. B is a little thrown off but they laugh and say, “That little shit just kicked me in the mouth!”

8: Imagine your OTP has a child. Now imagine that Person A of your OTP is being a complete dork in an attempt to make the usually sarcastic child laugh. The child then looks at Person B just shaking their head and saying “You married a dork, did you know that?”

9: Imagine your OTP welcoming a new baby. Person A would post lots of cute photos on social media gushing about how blessed they are and the exact times and weights, etc. and Person B would just post a photo of themselves holding the baby like ‘I spawned’.

10: Imagine your OTP snuggling in bed with their newborn baby between them.

11: Imagine your OTP picking out baby names

12: Imagine your OTP competing to get their baby to say “mama” or “dada” first and the baby ends up saying the dog’s name instead  

13: Imagine half of your OTP carrying the sonogram around with them everywhere they go

14: Imagine your OTP hearing their baby giggle for the first time

15: Imagine your OTP spending their first Valentine’s day as parents

16: Imagine your OTP finding out they’re having twins

17: Person A of your OTP is up with the baby at night telling them how they met Person B while Person B listens quietly outside of the room

18: Imagine your otp taking their child trick-or-treating

19: Imagine half of your OTP finding the other half asleep with the baby asleep on their chest and stopping to take a picture

20: Imagine your OTP not being able to pull themselves away from their newborn’s side as they sleep

21: Imagine Person A of your OTP singing to their child as Person B secretly listens over the baby monitor.

22: Imagine person A of your OTP being put on bed rest and getting incredibly annoyed as person B waits on them hand and foot

23: Imagine Person A of your OTP telling Person B that they and their child are the best thing that has ever happened to them.

24: Imagine Person A of your OTP placing Person B’s hand on their stomach to feel their baby kick.

25: Imagine your OTP giving up on the chance to ever become parents, only to find out that Person A is pregnant.

26: Imagine your OTP reading their child a bedtime story.

27: Imagine your OTP telling their child that they’re going to have a younger sibling.

28: Imagine your otp seeing their baby for the first time.  [X]

29: It’s New Years Eve, and your OTP has a baby. Friends/family/whoever come over to ring in the New Year.  Early in the night, Person A puts the baby to sleep in their nursery, closing the door so the noise of the party doesn’t bother them. Close to midnight, the baby wakes up, and A goes to soothe them. Not wanting to miss getting a New Years kiss with their partner, Person B follows them up. At midnight, they have their New Years kiss with their baby in A’s arms, in the quiet of the nursery.

30: While Person A is doing ____ <insert some activity that usually happens before the magical moment of proposal> ready to propose, Person B decides that it’s a good time to drop the pregnancy bomb.

31: Write about the repercussions of an accidental pregnancy.

32: Your OTP cannot have a child between them biologically (for whatever reason!), and so Person A insists on adopting. Person B doesn’t want to adopt, but after much insistence, gives in. They go to see who they can adopt, and Person A is adamant that they adopt a baby. As soon as that baby is put into Person B’s arms, they melt and feel absolute love for this child.

33: Imagine your OTP’s child loving books, and reading them extremely fast. Person A makes them a promise that they’ll always buy them books as long as they’re a good kid, and ends up spending an abundance of money (much to Person B’s dismay)

34: Person A and Person B have finally decided that they feel ready and wanna try to have/adopt a child.

That emotional conversation was yesterday.

Today, Person A woke up and started making little dad jokes, saying little mom phrases, or being really parental in general.

Person B thinks it’s cute, of course. But after the third time Person A says “oops gonna move right on past ya” in the kitchen…. B is rethinking this whole “make my spouse/partner into a parent of my child” thing.

35: Some mornings, everything went absolutely according to plan, with a full bodied ease and smoothness. Other mornings, it was more like you’d been woken up by a two foot tall monster screaming twelve contradicting commands at you before collapsing to the floor because, no, there’s no such thing as a dinosaur waffle and Mommy doesn’t have the artistic skill to make one.

Today was definitely the latter.

36: “Woah woah woah, wait! You – you want a WHAT?”

“A kid, B, a kid. For God’s sake it’s not like I’m speaking Russian.”

37: “What the hell is that thing? Get it away from me!”

“Its just a baby?”

38: Imagine your OTP hours after they have welcomed their first child. Of course, they’re still at the hospital. Person A is asleep. Person B has some alone time with the baby. They didn’t allow themselves to cry or become very “sappy” earlier, but now that their partner is asleep, they don’t care. They let it all out.

Bonus: Person A is awake the whole time and hears everything, but pretends they are asleep. Whether or not they bring it up later is up to you.

39: “I’m a little scared, but overall? Excited.”

40: “Hey, come feel my stomach! They’re kicking.”

41: “We’ve been fighting over the wall colors for two days now. I want to make some sort of alien world on the walls, but they said that’s too much work. It’d be worth it.”

42: “So far, the only names I can think of just aren’t good enough.”

43: “Of course the first thing that turned out positive in my life would be a pregnancy test.”

44: Prompt: Imagine person A of your OTP is pregnant and having to put up with some kicks and squirms from the baby which are rather bothersome to A. B then sings to the baby which seems to calm it down or rather lull it to sleep.

45: “Let’s have a baby.”

46: Person A tries to think of an excuse as to why they aren’t drinking without letting Person B know that they are pregnant.

47: Write something that begins with a positive pregnancy test.

48:“This is your fault.”

49: “Take responsibility.”

50: One party finds out they’re pregnant while the other party is away/captured/missing. [X]

51: Sitting on the floor of a public bathroom holding a positive pregnancy test.

52: Denying they’re pregnant until they pass out (what from, you decide).

53: Hiding pregnancy from the other partner.

54: “Remember how I said I didn’t want kids?”

55: “I didn’t think we’d ever do it.”

56: “My parents are gonna be so happy.”

57: “My parents are gonna kill me.”

58: “I told Mom/Dad I’m pregnant, they kicked me out.”

59: “Do you think it’ll be a boy, or a girl?”

60: Baby kicks for the first time.

61: Discussing baby names.

62: Cuddling.

63: “You’re not fat, you’re pregnant, and even if you were fat, I don’t care. I love you.”

64: “I dunno if I’ll be a good Mom/Dad.”

65: “I’m emotional and pregnant, leave me alone.”

66: “Get them to settle down in there, will you?”

67: “Baby’s coming, now.”

68: “Don’t let go of my hand, okay?”

69: “You’re not going anywhere.”

70: “I can’t do this.”

71: “I’m so tired.”

72: A long and difficult labor, with a good or bad end.

73: “I’m going to kill you if you do this to me again.”

74: Parents relaxing with their newborn(s)/looking at them in awe.

75: “I will always protect you.”

76: “You can do this.”

77: Over the years, our relationship had evolved more than I could have ever imagined. We had started off as two dumb kids stumbling through adulthood together, sharing laughter and shouting matches. But now we had grown, still young at heart but well settled into the world around us. Things were placid and yet never boring with them. I wanted nothing more than to spend my days together forever.

Finally, I worked up the courage to buy them a ring.

78: A:*holding up marriage certificate* this is a legal contract that says you have to love me.

B:*smirking*what are the consequences?

*Nsfw or playfight ensues* [X]

79: Your OTP being really in love even when they are old , doing stuff that young couples do like having dates at different restaurants , staying up all night , talking about the sweet and the sour, some PDA like holding hands and kissing . Their children telling them about the fact that they are not young anymore but they don’t care .

80: Person A: you know what B? I am going to marry you one day.

Person B: *flattered, awkward, and sarcastic bc they're unsure of how to respond* heh— you’ll have to fight for my honor first.

Person A: okay!

Person B: ⚆ _ ⚆ wait what

81: But a soulmate au where markings blossom at the place they first touch you. It starts with a little prick, like a bug bite or a needle and this beautiful dark ink swirls around your arm after some stranger pushed past you. A static zap ricochets across your shoulder blades as that idiot you see around sometimes shoves you by your back, pale blue curves look like wings across your back. Then can you imagine the other person? That idiot having both his hands absolutely covered in this baby blue filigree, the other stranger with navy scrawled across their lower bicep and trailing down their inner forearm, just ugh like somebody with whimsical purple running up their finger but for gods sake, they just wanted a pen.

82: “Dear god, you’re beautiful.”

“No need to sound quite so surprised, we’ve only been married for the last decade.”

83: Imagine a soulmate au where whenever your soulmate listens to music, you can hear it too and the only way you can find them is when the music they’re listening to gets louder the closer you are to them.

84: Imagine a soulmate au where you can taste the things that they are eating or drinking and the only way you can find them is to find the places that serve that same kind of food or drink they’re eating/drinking.

85: Imagine a soulmate au where the heart in your chest is your soulmate’s and you can feel whatever they’re currently feeling and the only way you can find them is when it stops beating. Kind of like taking the “When I first met you, I swear I could feel my heart stop beating” literally.

86: Imagine a soulmate au where your level of talent at a hobby determines on how close you are to your soulmate.

87: Imagine a soulmate au where your dreams are a mixture of your soulmate’s past and present memories and the only way you know that you’ve met them is when you see yourself.

88: Imagine a soulmate au where everyone is given a book at birth with no pages in it and the only way the pages begin to magically appear is when they are finally born. Each chapter is linked to your soulmate’s age and the pages within that chapter represent a day of their life with a small collection of things that they have said throughout the day. The only way you will know that you’ve met your soulmate is when the pages stop appearing and the last thing that was said on the last page is actually the first word or sentence that they said to you.

89: Imagine a soulmate au where you’re given a necklace that changes to the colors of what they’re currently feeling and the temperature is linked to how close you are to them. For example, nothing being very far away, cold being closer, and warm being they’re right in front of you. But, whenever they take the necklace off of them, the connection is lost and you won’t know what they’re feeling or if you’ve even met each other.

90: the voice you hear your thoughts in is your soulmate’s but you don’t know who they are until you hear them speak for the first time

91: your soulmate’s initials are imprinted in your skin of your hand at birth and the letters burn more intensely as the day you meet them grows closer

92: you’ve only ever seen your soulmate in your dreams but you can never remember what they look like, the imaginary life you have with them picks up wherever it leaves off when you fall asleep again. but the dreams stop after you meet them, but you have no way of know who they are because you still can’t remember their face

93: your soulmate’s hair color is the color of your eyes. the color of your eyes also changes to match the color of their hair if they dye it

94: you think you have a sleepwalking problem but it’s really just the universe trying to bring you to your soulmate when your mind is disengaged

95: you’ve been sketching your soulmate’s face since you were old enough to pick up a pencil, the drawings become more realistic through the years as the day you meet comes near

96: you’re born with a band of your soulmate’s skin color tattooed in your skin

97: all of your dreams are your soulmate’s most significant memories from that given day

98:“Have I told you recently that you’re utterly gorgeous?”

“No,” they hummed, eyes soft and lips curled with amusement. “Remind me.”

99: Tol is reading a book and Smol is trying to get their attention

100: Smol has trouble reaching something on the top shelf so Tol has to help them

101: Smol/Tol is obsessed with Smol/Tol’s hands because of the size difference

102: Smol sometimes gets mistaken for a child and gets defensive so Tol has to calm them down

103: Tol and Smol have a habit of writing “Tol” and “Smol” on each other’s papers

104: Tol and Smol have a lot of the same classes and whenever Smol is sad, Tol gives them piggyback rides from class to class

105: Tol gets asked out a lot when Smol goes with them to bars so whenever a person flirts with Tol, Smol gets defensive and is ready to fight

106: Tol is always coming up behind Smol and kissing their head, hugging their waist, covering their eyes, etc. and despite it having started months (or years) ago, it still always surprises Smol

107: Tol is hogging the blankets, so Smol tries to roll them over, but after many failures, Smol just snuggles closer.

108: Smol tosses and turns in their sleep and usually ends up rolled up in the covers, leaving Tol in the cold, but Tol just smiles and cuddles their happy lil sushi roll

109: Smol has sleep problems and Tol tries to stay awake with them most nights and they soon run out of things to do, so they decide to try 2 AM baking

110: Tol is a kind, gentle sweetheart, and Smol is their adorable little ball of fire

111: Tol and Smol are dancing and Tol makes a joke about Smol’s size so Smol retaliates by pulling Toll down to their height and teasing them about being stronger [X]

112: Tol helps Smol clean their closet and starts flipping their shit over how tiny Smol’s clothes are. Bonus points if Tol calls Smol their “Little doll”

113: “You should totally pretend to propose to me,” their best friend said. “We can see if someone in the restaurant gives us free drinks. People love it when stuff like that happens.” My stomach flipped. I couldn’t even say I liked you, let alone propose - fake or not. “Why am I the one proposing? You do it. It was your idea.”

114: “Everyone thinks we’re a couple.” “I know.” “You know? It doesn’t bother you?” “Should it? Does it bother you? I mean, personally I think I could do worse as far as fake lovers go, but…”

115: “Look, attending prom without knowing how to dance was tragic the first time. I just can’t let you face that humiliation twice.” “Thanks.” The other held out a hand, a small smile on their lips. “Don’t worry, I’m a good teacher. Everyone says so.” They stifled a laugh.

116: “You’re ok, right? You’re not hurt?!”

“No, no, no, I’m fine! Totally fine, no, no, I’m fine.”

“Really? Because you’re repeating your words, you look pale, and you look like you’re about to topple over.”

“Yeah, you might wanna catch me.”

117: PALM KISSING.

118: Sitting next to someone, hands in one’s lap, leaning against them and kissing their shoulder

119: “The eyelid kiss is said to produce a unique sensation of an un-wordly nature, running from the base of the spine to the knees”

120: A kiss on the temple

121: Laying opposite directions on a couch, or with someone’s legs in their lap, kissing the knees or shins

122: Randomly while holding hands bringing joined hands together to kiss the back of the hand

123: Topless and face-down, a kiss on the shoulder blade [X]

124: The playful kiss on the tip of the nose

125 Laying on someone’s chest and kissing their sternum

126: Kissing the crown of the head

127: A kiss on the inside of the wrist

128: Behind someone who’s sitting down, leaning over to kiss the forehead (and potentially block their eyesight with hair falling in their face)

129: Kissing scars either shortly or long after they’ve healed

130: Standing behind someone, hugging them around the arms or the waist, and kissing the top edge of the shoulder

131: Kissing someone to stop them blurting out a secret/something they’ll regret

132: “Sorry, give me a sec-” they scrounged up their notes. Their hand trembled. “I wrote it down so this wouldn’t come out wrong. Sorry.” “You’re not dying, are you?” the best friend sounded worried. “What - no? No, I’m not dying. Nobody’s dying. Well, someone probably is. Every six seconds and all that but - no one we know. That I know about.” “It’s really, really cute when you start rambling.” They lost track of their notes a second time. Their skin went hot. “What?” “Will you go out with me?” “Did you just read my notes upside down?”

133: I kissed you like you were the centre of my gravity, everything in me drawn, falling falling falling always falling for you. A hand on the back of my neck, a dizzied breath as your thumb brushed an exposed slice of skin at my hip and then crept and settled upwards, warm and steady. Breathless, tentative, abruptly shy as our panting breaths chased the silence. Our eyes met. Yours - soft, a promise that if I fell I would always be caught. A smile tugged at the corners of your mouth. “Hey, you.” And then you kissed me again.

134:They started to creep out of bed, heart pounding, thoughts fogging their brain. Their friend flung out an arm without opening their eyes, catching them around the waist and reeling them back in. Their friend pressed a kiss to their neck. “Easy,” their friend murmured. “You don’t need to panic, it’s fine. Talk to me.”

135: “It’s funny, isn’t it.” They kept their eyes on their best friend’s hand, trailing idle patterns because it was easier than looking at their expression. “That we both knew, but never said anything.” “Never felt like it needed saying.” Their friend’s gaze was intent, and a finger teased over their lip, feather-light. “Would you like me to say it now?”

136: “I love you.”

“Ew, gross.”

“We’re married!”

Their partner grinned at them fondly and leaned in for a kiss.

“Ew.” Came the flat, secretly amused, nose wrinkled reply. “Gross.”

137: “I really want to kiss you right now”

“Then do it”

138: “Are you trying to seduce me?”

“That depends on if it’s working or not,” they replied with a lazy grin. Their head tilted, and they wet their lips a little nervously. “Is it?”

139: Baby, it’s cold outside: Things don’t go too well for both muse A and B when they decide to go on a little vacation together. Resting in a cabin together, our muses wake up to find out that - they can’t leave? During their slumber, a snow-storm had hit and blocked both the windows and doors, locking them inside! Do they stay positive about this situation and keep warm inside? Or do they try and find a way to somehow escape?

140: A spoonful of sugar: Catching a high fever, Muse A is too sick to even move from their bed. Muse B, worries about the other makes their way to their house only to see what horrible condition they are in! Ignoring the stubbornness of Muse A who insists they’re fine, Muse B is now determined to nurse them back to good health! Blankets, Ice-packs, warm soup in bed… anything that’ll get them back on their feet and well again.

141: Handful of flour: Muse A and Muse B decide to bake sweets in the kitchen! Muse A asks Muse B to get some flour from the cabinet, but instead of delivering it to them they instead take a handful and throw it right at Muse A - to which Muse A respond by throwing a handful right back at them!

142: Rain Rain, Go away; While Muse A is at Muse B’s house, a thunderstorm soon sweeps in and ruins their peaceful day together. Now this wouldn’t be a problem because their indoors; but Muse A is terrified of thunderstorms. The storm only escalates to the point where the power turns off, leaving them in the darkness and and surrounded by the loud clashes of thunder. Muse A begins panicking, and it’s up to Muse B to keep them calm and get their mind off of what is going on until the storm passes.

143: What happened?: Muse A and Muse B wake up after a long night of partying in bed naked with no memory of what happened the night before.

144: “Everyone thinks we’re a couple.”

“Well, we did sleep together.”

“Yes -literally. As in, just sleeping!”

“I’m wondering if your horror should insult me.”

“I - what - no -”

“-I enjoyed sleeping with you.”

“You find this far too funny.”

“Maybe I’m just flattered.”

And with that, they were speechless.

145: “Fuck it - do you wanna get married?”

146: “Your smile is beyond gorgeous… please, keep doing it.”

147: “Whenever we’re together, I feel at home.”

148: “Will you say you love me? Pleeease?”

149: “Wait, don’t go! Can’t you stay the night?”

150: “Wow - you look… amazing.”

151: “*Puts hands over eyes from behind* Guess whooo?”

152: “I’m not jealous! It’s just… you’re mine!”

153: “I want to go on a date! I demand it!”

154: “We just met, this is crazy, I’m referencing a song… but call me maybe?”

155: “What? No! I wasn’t staring… I-I was looking at something behind you!”

156: “Do you want some? Here, open your mouth… I’ll feed you some!”

157: “It’s been a long day… here, let me give you a massage.”

158: “Is it alright if I call you princess?”

159: “It’s not like I like you or anything! … Okay, well- maybe I do.”

160: “I think your perfect. Even with your flaws, you’re nothing but perfect.”

161: “That was barely even a kiss! Do it again - please?”

162: “What? No. I wasn’t aiming for your hand. I was reaching for the, uh- popcorn.”

163: I have you shoved against the wall but now I can’t stop looking at your mouth

164: We were dancing but all of a sudden it’s a slow song and we’re standing here awkwardly staring at each other

165: I just told you I liked you but now I’m shy and say “never mind, forget it” and why are you looking at me like that?

166: We slept in the same bed for space reasons but now we’re just waking up and there’s something about your bleary eyes and mussed hair

167: It’s time to fight the boss and if I don’t tell you now, I might not live to tell you

168: Congratulations! One of your dreams has finally come true. Let me give you a big hug and wow, you’re warm…

169: Imagine your OTP with their new baby/babies. [X]

170: Oh, my God, I thought you were going to die. Please don’t ever scare me like that again.

171: We’re hiding from the authorities and it’s very close quarters in here, I can feel your body against mine.

172: Wait, my hero’s secret identity is… you? To be honest, I’d always kind of hoped…

173: You’ve said you’re going to leave, but I don’t want you to go and if I don’t say something now…

174: We were pretending to be lovers but I’m not pretending anymore and I have to know if you feel the same way

175: This wasn’t meant to be a date, but we’ve had such a good time and now it’s 2 a.m. and I should really go home…

176: Making the bed together

177: Tying his tie

178: Him/Her zipping your dress

179: Dropping hints so he'll give you his jacket

180: Watching sitcoms together

181: Being stuck at their house during a blizzard

182: Reading together by the fire

183: Building a fort together

184: Hold hands

185: Watching the classics

186: Slow dancing in the living room

187: Baking together

188: Passing notes in class

189: Borrowing his gloves and them being way too big

190: Take walks

191: Go on a picnic in the park

192: Drive through the city at night

193: Go on a road trip

194: Give each other handmade gifts

195: Go on a romantic vacation together

196: Sleep on a trampoline with blankets and pillows

197: Take a nap together

198: Go on a photography adventure

199: Play video games together

200: Have a beach date

201: Take a train somewhere

202: Spend a day in character as whomever the other chooses

203: Write sappy poems for each other

204: Clean together

205: Watch each other's favourite movies

206: Rent a tiny rowboat on a small pond and read sappy poetry to each other

207: Go to an amusement park together

208: Surprise each other with breakfast in bed

209: Go shopping together

210: Do art together

211: Play/Kiss in the rain

212: Take a steamy shower together

213: Take a soothing bubble bath together

214: Make traditions

215: Cuddle

216: Go to the movies

217: Pick outfits for each other

218: Sneak pictures of each other

219: Make bets together

220: Go on fancy dinner dates

221: Do couples' challenges together

222: Fall asleep together [X]

223: "See, I knew you'd be good with her."

224: Celebrate holidays together

225: "She makes me happier than anything I've ever known, and if I can have a part in making her happy again, that's all I want to do. That's all I want to do for the rest of my life."

226: “You have something in your hair - let me get it for you.”

227: “Hm? Oh, sorry. I couldn’t help but stare at you.”

228: “Um, would it be okay if I held your hand?”

229: “Shut up and kiss me already.”

230: “You’re the most important person in my life.”

231: “Are you tired? Here, I’ll carry you the rest of the way.”

232:“I’m not much of a chef, but… I really hope you like this.”

233:“Sorry for calling so late - I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”

234: “I need you more than you need me.”

235: “I want to kiss you and hold your hand any time I want.”

236: “I can’t stop thinking about you… I can’t.”

237: “The truth is… I love you.”

238: “You like me more than you like them, right? Right?”

239: “Be mine. Please.”

240: “I am who I am because of you.”

241: “It’s been a long day… let’s take a bath together.”

242: “Wait, don’t pull away - I want to hug you for awhile longer.”

243: “Ah- I adore your laugh.”

244: “Stop that, it tickles!”

245: “Ouch, I bit my lip… kiss it better?”

246: “I don’t want to get up… I’m so warm beside you.”

247: “You’re so intoxicating to me.”

248: “Your eyes are amazing… do you know that?”

249: “You’re just so wonderful.”

250: “S-Stop looking at me like that! You’re making me blush…”

251: “Are you tired? Rest in your head in my lap.”

252: “You, Me, Order In, Netflix… waddya say?”

253: “I want to be more than just friends with you.”

254: Person A and Person B are decorating a gingerbread house when Person A accidentally breaks a piece causing the house to collapse. Person A is really sad and afraid that Person B will be mad at them but Person B has the idea to turn it into a post-apocalyptic gingerbread house so they work together to strategically destroy it even more.

255: Person A and Person B were supposed to go out for a date but a snow storm hits and they get snowed in. Person A is really sad about it so Person B builds them a blanket fort so they can spend the evening snuggling and watching Christmas movies together.

256: Stay together.

257: "They grow up so fast..."

258: I’ve never seen anything like the way you handled that. I’m just so moved.

259: Imagine your OTP coming up with a list of names for their children.

Bonus: when one of their children comes out as trans, they happily hand their child the list and say “here, in case you want inspiration”

260: Imagine A is planning a surprise birthday party for B, but when the day of the party comes and people start showing up, A realizes that instead of sending 30 invitations to B’s work office, they sent 30 invitations to a biker gang. So now A, C, D and E are running around town trying desperately to find a present good enough for B to still have a good birthday.

BONUS: A, C, D and E get home to find B partying it up with the bikers and having a great time

DOUBLE BONUS: when A  decide to have kids, all of the bikers show up to their baby shower/push party, super excited to meet their baby/babies

261: The otp is at a party, A goes around giving hugs and kisses to all their friends and when they get to B. They whisper "Merry christmas" and give B a kiss on the lips. A then kisses their sleeping baby in B's arms whispering merry christmas.

262: “Honey, when the hell did you teach the fucking baby to swear?!” “I didn’t, sweetie” “Oh yeah, I’m fucking sure she invented all those hecking swear words”

263: Imagine Person A, the shorter member of your OTP, is pregnant. They were already having difficulties reaching things, but now reaching for things is nearly impossible, so Person B has to do a lot of retrieving of objects for Person A

264: Person A finds a positive pregnancy test in the bathroom garbage and flips out before going to find Person B, who sheepishly tells A that they didn’t know how to tell them the news.

265: Imagine your otp in the hospital because one of their family friends is having a baby. Does the situation make them want kids, or does it make them perfectly satisfied staying a duo?

266: Person A gets stopped in the shop because they’re (number of months) pregnant. The guards think that they’re shoplifting and Person B gets really angry and starts shouting about how they should know that Person A is pregnant.

267: Imagine person A of your OTP discovering they're pregnant by accident and not being afraid to reveal it to person B because they deeply love and trust person B not to spite them or leave them for being pregnant. (Because I see too many OTP prompts where the OTP is distrustful and scared of revealing such)

269: Your otp have a small child. Who runs around the toy stores suggesting “they would love this! Look at the buttons?!”, who knows that their baby is too young for such a toy, but a certain someone is apparently not too old.

269: Imagine your OTP going to adopt a child the day before thanksgiving.

Bonus: On thanksgiving, when the child is asked what they are thankful for, they respond by saying, “you two”, or something similar.

Bonus 2: B ends up in tears and A and the kid have to calm them down.

270: Write a story made up of journal entries.

Person C is the child of A and B. They’re going through relationship problems (as a teen or adult) and find a journal waiting for them from Parent A. The journal is the rough story of all the good and bad that took place between A and B. How they met, dated, broke up, then reconnected and fell back in love, told in A’s POV.

Bonus: C sends/gives the book back when their done reading it and B had no idea about it. B reads it and realizes just how much they went through with A.

How this ends is up to you.

271: Imagine person a hiding a wedding ring in an easter egg, expecting person b to find it but, instead a child finds it

272: Imagine Person A being hopelessly in love with Person B. They write a song for Person B.

273: Imagine your OTP going to a party together. They spend the whole night holding hands.

274: Imagine your OTP on a kiss cam.

275: Imagine Person A coming out to their parents, but it doesn’t go well. Person B hears about it and yells at A’s parents.

276: Imagine Person A (the innocent one) saying something sexual and Person B (the not so innocent one) gasping and lightly hitting their shoulder, telling them to watch their mouth.

277: “___, will you marry me?”

278: “I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

279: “I always thought marriage was a dead end, but…with you, I think it’s worth a shot.”

280: “There’s something I want to ask you.”

281: “Remember that time when [significant moment]? It got me thinking…”

282: “I hate people. Except for you. So…be with me forever?”

283: “You’re all I need.”

284: “I know you’re mad at me right now, but I can’t wait any longer.”

285: “I’ve been carrying this around for months, waiting for the right moment. And I’ll tell you: there is no right moment. So I’m just going to ask you right now.”

286: “You made me a better person. And I want you to keep showing me things for the rest of our lives.”

287: “Let’s run away together.”

288: "It’s rather inconvenient that the coffee shop where they’re having their date is one comfy chair short of how many are in their group.

The obvious solution, of course, is for Person A (the one too slow to grab a seat) to sit on someone’s lap. But now, it seems the others are all arguing about who gets to hold A.

It’s a very nice argument to witness, at least to A, but an argument all the same."

289: "We're teachers and our students keep getting in trouble and causing general mayhem to try to get us together so let's just pretend to date so they stop doing that and whoops I think I kind of like you now"

290: Person A: “Why do I get the feeling that you’re about to tell me something I really don’t want to hear?”

Person B: “….Experience?”

291: Starting a friends with benefits relationship with your roommate quickly blurs some lines…

292: There are love letters coming in the mail but with nothing written on the outside, not even a name, so I always give them to you, because I just assume they’re for you because I think I’ve seen you holding one of the envelopes before and you’re the kind of person that has a secret admirer, definitely not me…

293: Person A sneaking things into the cart when Person B isn’t looking.

294: Person A and Person B losing each other in a store and trying to find each other.

295: Person A laughing at Person B because they spent more money at the food court than they did in any of the stores all day.

296: “Did you sleep last night? At all?”  

297: “You don’t get to say anything to me!”

298: “Excuse me?”

299: “How is this my fault?”

300: “I don’t want to talk to you.”

301: “Move out of my way before I make you.”

302: “That isn’t an option.”

303: “You aren’t going anywhere.”

304: “You aren’t the boss of me.”

305: “What gives you the right?”

306: “Do that again and you’ll regret it.”

307: “Leave me alone!”

308: “I don’t care.”

309: “Come back here right now!”

310: “Go. You go and don’t even think about coming back here.”

311: “Do I make myself clear?”

312: “Control your anger or you’ll have me to worry about.”

313: “What did you just say to me?”

314: “I didn’t ask you to do that!”

315: “Get away from me!”

316: “Let go of me.”  

317: “You’re such a dork.”

318: “Get over here, you doof.”

319: “Cheeky.”

320: “You’re so needy.”

321: “Kiss me again.”

322: “You’re so adorable!”

323: “Look at you… Goodness, you’re so cute.”

324: “I’m just so happy!”

325: “I can’t stop smiling.”

326: “I like that you make me laugh so much that my cheeks hurt.”

327: “You are being extra sweet today.”

328: “Oh, look at you!”

329: “Your eyes are so pretty.”

330: “I’m really happy that you’re here with me.”

331: “Thank you for staying with me.”

332: “I don’t think I’ve ever loved someone this much before.”

333: “I feel like I’m in the clouds when I’m with you.”

334: “You’re like my heroine.”

335: “I’m gonna tickle you if you don’t come over here.”

336: “My, oh my. You are such a beautiful creature.”

337: Person A: “How good of a mood are you in right now?”

Person B: “…..What did you do?”

338: “Go with me?” “As long as you hold my hand.”

339: “Is there a reason you’re blushing like that?”

340: “Have you seen my hoodie?” “Noo.” “You’re wearing it, aren’t you?”

341: “OH you’re jealous!”

342: “Can we stay like this forever?”

343: “Please just kiss me already.”

344: “I think you might be my soulmate.”

345: “Sleep over? Please?”

346: “Are we on a date right now?”

347: “I think I’m in love with you.”

348: “Are you flirting with me?” “You finally noticed?”

349: “Am I your lockscreen?” “You weren’t supposed to see that.”

350: “I wish we could live together already.”

351: “They’re so cute when they’re asleep.”

352: “I just wanted to let you know that I think you’re beautiful.”

353: “You take my breath away,” “…” “y’know, like the song haha”

354: “Sharing is caring, now give me the hoodie!”

355: “But I’ve never told you that before.”

356:  “Give me attention.”

357:  “How is my wife more badass than me?”

358:  “It’s your turn to make dinner.”

359:  “Oh honey, I’d never be jealous of you.”

360:  “That was kind of hot.”

361: Good morning kiss

362: Kiss on the forehead

363: Kiss on the nose

364: Kiss on the neck

365: Kiss on the back

366: Exhausted parents kiss

367: Hiding/hoping not to be caught kiss

368: Before Bed kiss

369: In Secret kiss

370: Public kiss

371: Against a wall kiss

372: When One Person’s Face Is Scrunched Up, And The Other One Kisses Their     Lips/Nose/Forehead

373: Lazy Morning Kisses Before They’ve Even Opened Their Eyes, Still Mumbling Half-Incoherently, Not Wanting To Wake Up

374: Routine Kisses Where The Other Person Presents Their Cheek/Forehead For The     Hello/Goodbye Kiss Without Even Looking Up From What They’re Doing

375: Kisses Meant To Distract The Other Person From Whatever They Were Intently Doing Top Of Head Kisses

376: Person A: “Did I ever mean anything to you?… Or was all of it a lie?”

Person B: “Everything I told you, everything you think you know about me, is a lie… But I never lied about my feelings for you.”

377:  “Get out!”

“Please let me explain.”

“Out!”  

378: “You and me, together. We’re unbeatable. We can go against all odds and come out on top.”

379:  “Is it wrong for me to wish that they never grow up and I can keep my baby forever?”

“I kind of want that too.”

380: “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“I am just… speechless. You look beautiful.”

381: “I can’t believe I get to spend the rest of my life with you.”

382: Person A: “I cannot put into words, just how much I want to stab him, right now.”

Person B: “……You could always draw a diagram.”

383: Concept: You can share senses with your soulmate.

384: Person A: “No ones ever brought me flowers before….”

Person B: “Do you not like them?”

Person A: “….I love them, thank you.”

385: Warm sunlight through a glass, sitting in the passenger seat, idle chatter, and passing greenery.

386: Person A: “……I wasn’t sure you’d come.”

Person B: “You should know by now, that I don’t care what anybody else thinks. I’ll always be on your side.”

387: Person A: ”There are easier ways of doing this, you know?”

Person B: “Yeah, but none of them are quite as fun, are they?”

388: “I’ve been pining after you for two years and you never even noticed.”

389: “Some things just take time.”

390: “Do you regret it?"

391: “Tell me this one thing and I’ll leave you alone.”

392: “I deserve whatever punishment you will give me.”

393: Person A: “Have I told you, I love you, lately?”

Person B: “You could always tell me again.”

394: Watching them sleep in the early morning.

395: Video calling them because they miss them.

396: Calling them during a panic attack, having them rush over to sooth them.

397: Person A: “What’s your most precious memory?”

Person B: “.....Honestly? That time when we sat in that shitty little car park late at night, eating those disgusting chips from the petrol station with the broken sign.”

Person A: “.....Seriously? Why?” Person B: “Because that was the first time I ever saw you smile for real.”

398: Having their baby, being completely over-protective of them.

399: Stealing their clothes, wearing them just to tease them.

400: Taking s/o to meet parents.

401: Coming to their aid after a nightmare.

402:Movie date, being slick and wrapping an arm over them during the middle of the movie.

403: Dropping them off at their house after date and kissing them goodnight.

404: Dancing/pumping their fist in the air in excitement because they finally kissed them.

405: Taking them to see a waterfall.

406: Waiting outside their door all night because they had a fight.

407: Painting them/drawing them while they sleep/pose for them.

408: Domestic life; helping them with their tie, their hair, handing them coffee before they leave for work.

409: Wrapped up in a sheet after a drunken night, flustered and trying to find their clothes while they watch you amusingly.

410: Waking up to them making you breakfast while half-naked.

411: Hands brushing against theirs in a moment of seriousness, unable to keep the smile from breaking out across their face.

412: Being utterly touch starved and too shy to ask to be held, so they resolve to brushing their fingers against a part of s/o’s skin, etc.

413: Being the overly protective one during the pregnancy, doing everything for their s/o.

414: "It's two in the morning, I'm drunk and need some goddamn french fries so open your goddamn door."

415: “Well, if you want my opinion -”

“We really don’t.”

416: Person A needs to leave for work, but Person B is hugging them from behind and just standing there. They can’t leave them.

417: “Fuck.”

“No.”

“Fuck!”

“Who taught the baby the fuck word?”

418: “I want this to be worth something to you. If it isn’t, then what’s the point?”

419: “You're braver than you think."

420: Cradling child close to their chest

421: Wrapping child in old blankets like a little burrito

422: “It’s okay. I’ve got you.”

423: Distracting child with their favorite things (toys, comfort items, ect.)

424: “Nobody’s going to hurt you as long as I’m around.”

425: “I won’t rest until I have baby-proofed this entire house. Just you watch.”

426: “I’m a little worried. What if I’m not a good parent?”

427: “Their room needs to be exciting. I’m not painting it a generic plain color.”

428: “Don’t know about you, but I’m looking forward to seeing everyone else panic on the first day of school.”

429: Characters witness their baby’s first laugh

430: Person A is a Youtuber who is dating B, C, D, and E. Their channel is growing and they are hesitant to come out as a poly couple so they just pass it for a really good friendship. Thing is, internet being internet are starting shipping war. Some ships A and B, some B and C, some A and C, etc. It’s starting to do some shit and fights online. One day, they get tired of being asked questions about it and decide to come out as who they are. They make a video about how happy they are all together in a poly relationship. How do their fanbase and subscriber reacts is up to you!

431: Imagine Person A and B of your poly ship both helping Person C get through a bad bout of depression. What sort of things would they do for Person C to show that they care for them and want to support them? Is one more verbal with their support than the other?

432: Person (A) decides to plan a romantic dinner, thing is, while (A) prepares it, (B) and ( C) are upstairs, making out. Both are getting really into it but after a while, just when they were about to get serious, (A) calls them downstairs to eat.

(B) and ( C), frustrated a little from stopping there, tries their best to seduce their way into (A)’s pants for dinner. Saying cliche and cheesy things to try and convince (A) that they can be dinner~

433: “I’ve wanted this for so long.”

434: Person A will gladly tell you: There is nothing in the world quite so cute as Person B sitting in a rocking chair, holding a baby chick against their flannel (which Person A had been planning to steal, but this is far sweeter)

435:   “Come to bed. I sleep better with you there.”

436:    “Where did you get that scar from?"

437:  “I love mummy.”

“What about me?”

“Just mummy.”

438:  “Your brat keeps kicking me in the kidney.”

“How come you say they’re mine whenever they are doing that?”

439: "Have I done something wrong?"

440: “Looking back it’s like, like those days never existed.”

“And you?”

“No. I didn’t exist either.”

441: "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to."

442: “Stay in bed a little longer. It is warm here.”

“Alright, five more minutes, then I have to get up.”

443: “Does it hurt here?”

“Everywhere hurts.”  

444: “How do you always look so kissable?”

445: “Stomach bug?”

“No, morning sickness.”

446: "I feel safe in your arms."

447: "I dreamed about you last night, and woke up happy."

448: "I can't sleep. Can I stay here?"

449: “Does this feel good?”

450: She smiled down at the infant cradled in her arms, one tiny hand wrapped around her pinky finger. He was her little miracle.

451: "I'm so in love with you."

452: "You own my heart."

453: A: “Hey, before you doze off– I have a quick question?”

B: “Yeah, sure, what is it?”

A: “Would it be okay with you if I wake you up with kisses tomorrow? If that’d be uncomfortable for you, that’s totally cool, forget I even brought it up.”

454: “Are you nervous?”

“No… Should I be?”

455: Running into some of the family accidentally while running errands.

456: Bringing their partner(s) to a family function, but something like a graduation party where they won’t have to be the center of attention.

457: Visiting a grave/memorial with their partner(s)

458: Finally being alone after the meeting.

459: During foreplay, A always loved getting B visibly riled up. When B does get that riled up, though, they always kiss A far softer than they had been previously. It always confuses A a little bit, but it’s never a problem. In the middle of some heated kisses, A decides to ask: “Why do you always do that?” “Do– do what?” “You kiss me softest when you’re desperate.” “You deserve to be treated gently. I’d never let how bad I want you overcome how bad I want you to feel wanted.”

460: “I’ll be there in a few minutes.”

461: Secret relationship and everyone knows

462: Person A listens to true crime podcasts all day and watches tons of videos about it, and they have to sleep cuddled up real close to Person B that night because they’re scared. Person B may tease them about it.

463: "What would you have said?"

464: “STOP BEING SO CUTE, IT’S NOT FAIR!”

465: “Listen, I enjoy this hug and all, but can you stop?”

466: “You’re the only one who gets to call me that, you know.”

467: “I’m not going to fuck you until you’ve come at least three times on my tongue and fingers.”

468: Person A: “….Please don’t leave me here alone.”

Person B: “Never.”

469: “You didn’t think I forgot, did you?”

470: “Damn these emotions.”

471: "Just another night, no sleep."

472: “I’m the youngest here, but no one would know it, what with the way you two act instead.”

473: “I would never let anyone hurt the ones I care about and that includes you.”

474: “Look at who I used to be and tell me I’m not better off how I am now.”

475: “Don’t be nervous, you can come closer.”

476: “I never took you for the romantic type, but I guess I stand corrected.”

477: “Don’t smile at me like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like I make you happy.”

478: “This is far from the first time I’ve done something like this, so why are you so surprised?”

479: “I already knew. I was just waiting for you to confess finally.”

480: “Is it still a secret if I know about it?”

481: “You know, by hinting that you have secrets, you make everyone else that much more inclined to find out what you’re hiding, right?”

482: “You threatened my best friend, I do not feel too lovey dovey towards you right now!”

483: Your OTP(+) haven’t announced their relationship yet, but when a friend of theirs posts a picture with them kissing in the background, what happens?

484: “(Name), this is the girl of my dreams.”

485: “(Name)? Come on. Please, don’t be sad for me.”

486: “Are you asleep?” “Not anymore.”                

487:  “You made me breakfast in bed? What did you do this time?”

488: “I’ll carry you if I have to!”

489: “I didn’t understand the warmth of you until I couldn’t have it.”

490: “I had given up, but you came into my life and I brought myself back.”

491: “When did we become such a family?”

492: He’s going to be a great father

493: “Has anyone else noticed that we’ve color-coordinated with each other or is it just me?”

494: “Wait a minute. Are you jealous?”

495: Your character goes outside on a clear night. Looking up, they see a bright falling star streak across the sky. What wish do they make?

496: Person B: I got you these chocolates for Valentine's Day!! Person A: You're a little late, it's the day after Person C: They were half off

497: Imagine your OTP giving their child dating advice.

498: Imagine person A leaning on person B’s shoulder and asking if they’ve ever thought about raising kids with them and B replying that they’ve definitely thought about raising kids with them. Think about it.

499: Imagine person A of your OTP is about to meet person B’s parents for the first time. A has been nervous all day, grooming themselves, trying to make themselves look respectable and worthy of B for their parents.

B comes home in the evening to see how nervous A is, and kisses them and messes up their hair/untucks their shirt/just generally does something to make A look more like A, reassuring them because it was the real A that they fell in love with, and A that they want their parents to meet.

500: Where did they go on their honeymoon?

501: When did they decide to become parents?

502: How many kids do they want/have?

503: Who is the responsible parent?

504: Where do they for their date night?

505: Are they strict parents?

506: Do they go to parent teacher interviews?

507: How do they react to their first child going to kindergarten?

508: Where did they get married?

509: What traditions did they make together?

510: How do they decorate their kids room?

511: What are the family secrets?

512: What type of pet do they own?

513: Where do they take their kids on vacation?

514: “Did you feel him/her/them kick?”

515: “Do you think I’ll be a good mom/dad?”

516: “Babe, wake up. The baby is having a party in here! Give me your hand!”

517: “Hospital! Now!”

518: “Boy or Girl?”

519: “Can we name the baby after me?”

520: “Can you put the crib together?”

521: “Cuddle me now!”

522: “I’m pregnant…”

523: “I hope he/she has your eyes.”

524: “You want to paint the nursery what?!”

525: "So… i have some news.“

526: "Okay I just want to say that, yes, I have gained some weight… But it’s because I’m pregnant.”

527: "Better get your dad jokes ready.“

528: "Right here! Right here’s a foot!”

529: "The little one is quite active today.“

530: "Is that a hand?!”

531: "Maybe you should try reading a book to them?“

532: "Come watch my belly, it’s frickin crazy!”

533: "The top of the baby’s head is about… Here, and a foot is right this way.“

534: "Do you think the baby would be down if I ate some chipotle?”

535: "Coffee isn’t good for you while you’re pregnant or breast feeding, but damn I need some caffeine.“

536: "Watermelon with peanut butter sounds so great right now.”

537: “Honey you’re pregnant, that’s all baby. You look beautiful.”

538:  “He/She is up again.”

539: “I’ll get the baby, you go back to sleep.”

540: “So sweet!”

541: “I have found your mini-me.”

542: “Babe!! We are out of formula…again!”

543: “Stop being a baby hog!”

544: “They’re gorgeous!!”

545:“This parent thing is hard!”

546: “You both are precious!”

547: “I love you both so so much!”

548: “Wake up, the baby needs you.”

549: “Momma’s little baby, yes you are.”

550:“Daddy’s little baby, yes you are.”

551: “That’s your son/daughter!”

552: “They are walking!”

553. “I love it when they fall asleep on me.”

554. “She/he keeps crying for you.”

555. “Can I hold them!”

556. “Can I pick their outfit out today?”

557. “Daddy’s little girl/boy.”

558. “Mummy’s little girl/boy.”

559. “She/he is never going to be allowed to date!”

560. “Was that a word?”

561. “This kid is gonna have a better childhood than I did.”

562:  “Do you want a bed time story?”

563: “[mama/papa]’s got you.”

564:  “Where did you put your blankie this time.”

565:  “They have grown so much, it’s hard to believe how little they used to be.”

566: “I want another baby.”

567: “Stomach bug?”

“No, morning sickness.”

568: “You really are your [mother/father]’s child.”

569: Imagine Person A of your OT3 is pregnant and Person B and Person C take turns getting food in the middle of the night when Person A suddenly desires it.

570: “Stop wiggling! I need to get you changed!”

571: “You are perfect, my little [pet name].”

572: “Did you have a bad dream?”

“Uh huh.”

“Come on, get into bed with us, you can sleep in bed with us tonight.”

573: “Take a break. I’ll stay up with them, you need some sleep.”

574: Imagine person A of your OTP telling person B they are pregnant in the form of a baby-themed Christmas ornament.

575: Person A and B are engaged to be married and have decided that they want children in the future but want to wait for a while until after the wedding to try for them. They have a night alone before the big day and forget about it until their honeymoon when Person B is extremely tired the whole time and discovers that they’re expecting on the last day to the surprise of them and Person A.

576: Imagine Person A of your OT5 is pregnant and B, C, D and Person E take turns getting food in the middle of the night when Person A suddenly desires it.

577: Imagine your OT+ arguing about whether tea or coffee is better.

Odd Number Bonus: Person C is a hot cocoa lover.

578: Imagine your OT+ ending up in a hotel room with only one bed.

579: Little one jumping in puddles wearing rain boots.

580: Shopping for nursery furniture for little one.

581: Holding the little one for the first time.

582: Being immensely proud when little one takes their first steps alone.

583: Little one’s first reaction to seeing/feeling snow.

584: Singing nursery rhymes to get little one to sleep.

585: Finger painting with little one.

586: Little one getting food all over their face.

587: Going on a walk together with little one.

588: Picking out little one’s first Halloween costume.

589: Little one’s first birthday.

590: Little one’s first trip to the zoo or aquarium.

591: Showing little one a lightning bug for the first time.

592: Little one pulling on your hair with surprising strength.

593: Helping little one go down a slide at the park.

594: Tickling little one’s chubby thighs until they laugh.

595: Singing songs and rocking little one to sleep.

596: Reading a book with little one on your lap.

597: Having to show little one that the food tastes good by having some too.

598: Little one chasing after bubbles to pop them.

599: Playing peek-a-boo with little one.

600: Little one snuggling with a stuffed animal.

601: Having little one help mix cookie dough.

602: Little one eating a slice of fruit and getting juice all down their chin.

603: Kissing little one where they got hurt to make the pain go away.

604: Little one stripping their clothes and running around in their diaper.

605: Waking up to little one crying out in their sleep.

606: Little one biting everything they can stick in their mouth as they teethe.

607: Little one leaving sticky fingerprints on everything they touch.

608: Having little one help flip pancakes.

609: Giving little one a raspberry on their tummy after changing their diaper.

610: Watching little one go in and out of the kiddie pool.

611: Having little one wear their first formal wear.

612: Little one drifting off to sleep with a smile on their face.

613: Little one settling down after you finally figure out what they need.

614: Choosing little one’s name together.

615: Watching little one attempt to blow the seeds off a dandelion.

616: Little one getting in a laughing kick where everything is funny.

617: The first time little one picks their own outfit.

618: Little one chasing down the pet to rest their head on them and hold them tight.

619: Being unable to stay mad at little one when they give you puppy dog eyes.

620: Whoever let you be responsible for someone so small? Lay awake worrying about this.

621: Bath time gets so splashy you get used to just taking your clothes off.

622: Sending an urgent message to your partner to let them know the baby has laughed.

623: Your child is the most beautiful and precious thing in the world. Lay awake crying about this.

624: Let your child bite you to test their emerging teeth. Gaze upon the resulting tiny half-moon indentation on your skin with bemused adoration.

625: "My clothes look good on you.”

626: “Is that my shirt?”

627: “I’ve wanted this for so long.”

628: Person A will gladly tell you: There is nothing in the world quite so cute as Person B sitting in a rocking chair, holding their baby against their flannel (which Person A had been planning to steal, but this is far sweeter)

629: Imagine your OT5 trying for a baby

630: Person A of your OTP peels the “never loses suction” sticker off of a vacuum and sticks it on Person B’s forehead.

631: Person A keeps thinking Person C shoves them off of the bed intentionally in their sleep, only to realize it’s their dog that jumps onto the bed in the middle of the night, causing B to flail and accidentally shove someone off.

632: "I refuse to have a baby on Christmas."

633: "Please don't leave me."

634: “I don’t give a damn.” “You give so many damns, they’re visible from space.”

635: “Let me show you why you should stay in bed.”

636: “Can you help me with this zipper?”

637: “I bet you look even better with your clothes off.”

638: “Are you trying to turn me on right now? Because it’s working.”

639: “I’d hold on to something if I were you.”

640: “It seems you forgot to wear any underwear tonight.”

641: “I see you’ve started without me.”

642: “Wanna taste?”

643: “Less talking. More fucking.”

644: "You're really gonna make me beg for it?"

645: “I’m going to show you what a real fucking is.”

646: “Are you going to eye fuck me all night or are you going to do something about it?”

647: “You’re so sexy when you’re all hot and bothered.”

648: “Try to keep quiet. We don’t want to get caught.”

649: “Forget the bed. Let’s fuck right here.”

650: “Fuck, I love the sounds you make.”

651: “Does this/that feel good?”

652: “Please… Don’t stop.”

653: “Please. I need you. Now.”

654: “You’re bigger than I expected.”

655: “Get on your knees.”

656: “This cock isn’t gonna suck itself.”

657: “Maybe I’d rather take my time.”

658: “I just wanted a taste.”

659: “Is there anything you can’t do with that tongue?”

660: “Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me?”

661: “Oh god, how can you manage to switch from cute to sexy in under a second?”

662: “I know all of your weaknesses.”

663: “Hm, no panties?”

664: “You heard me. Take. It. Off.”

665: “Angel in the streets, freak in the sheets.”

666: “If you don’t like my teasing then why are you moaning?”

667: “I’m gonna fuck you so hard that you forget you ever even met that asshole.”

668: “I know for a fact that you can be a hell of a lot louder than that.“

669: “You make a sound and it’s game over baby.”

670: "If I have to pull over, you won’t be able to walk for the next week.“

671: “Can you feel what you’re doing to me?”

672: “You’re not allowed to cum without my permission.”

673: “Fuck, that’s good.”

674: “Holy shit, you’re so fucking sexy like that.”

675: “How ‘bout you come and help me out, huh?”

676: “Don’t think I’m letting you get away with that, darling.”

677: “The things that I want to do to you, baby.”

678: “Dammit, we made a mess.”

679: “What do you mean not yet? You can’t expect me not to cum when you’re fucking me so good!”

680: “You’re going to regret that, sweetheart.”

681: “Were you dreaming about me again?”

682: “I can’t wait to taste you.”

683: “I want to see those pretty little lips wrapped around my cock.”

684: “You have no idea how good you make me feel.”

685: “Don’t make me take you home and punish you.”

686: “I’ve never wanted anyone to fuck me this badly.”

687: “You’re not going out in that outfit.”

688: “Don’t give me that look.”

689: “You’re more than just a one night stand.”

690: “Would you just shut up and kiss me already?”

691: “You want me to give you your book/phone/item back? Make me.”

692: “Like what you see?”

693: “We’re in public, you know.”

694: “I didn’t know you were so sensitive.”

695: “Don't be so rough. There can't be any marks.”

696: “I really don’t care. You still look hot and I’m trying not to kiss/fuck you senseless right now.”

697: “Are you sure? Once we start, I might not be able to stop.”

698: “No, I’m supposed to be making you feel good.”

699: “Make me.”

700: “Stop teasing me so much..”

701: “You’re in trouble now.”

702: “Take off your clothes.”

703: “I’m waiting.”

704: “Mine.”

705: “We cant do that here!”

706: “Behave.”

707: “What did you just say?”

708: “Come here.”

709: “Watch me.”

710: “I don’t want to hear your excuses anymore.”

711: “If you cant sleep… Then how about we have sex?”

712:“Don’t kink shame me.”

713: “If you interrupt me one more time, so help me god.”

714: “I’m going to put on some clothes before you say anything else.”

715: “Tell me what you want.”

716: “Bite me.”

717: “If you insist.”

718: “Could he make you feel as good as I do?”

719: “You’re not, um, wearing anything under that, are you..?”

720: “Are you trying to turn me on or are you really just that oblivious?”

721: “You taste like fucking candy.”

722: “The only way you’re getting off is on my thigh.”

723: “You make a sound and it's game over.”

724: “Just let me finish this/this level and I swear I'll go down on you until you cum at least three times.”

725: “If I have to stop what I’m doing, you won't be able to walk for the next week.”

726: “I could just pull your bikini bottoms to the side, no one will notice.”

727: “I haven’t even touched you and you’re already this wet.”

728: “Were you just masturbating?” “U-uh..no, I was just..”

729: “Want some help?”

730: “Shut up.”

731: “Why don’t you come over here and make me.”

732: “You’re so fucking hot when you’re mad.”

733: “We’re not just friends and you fucking know it.”

734: “C’mere, you can sit on my lap until I’m done working.”

735: “What? Does that feel good?”

736: “I’m not jealous! It's just… You’re mine!”

737: “If we get caught I’m blaming you.”

738: “We have to be quiet.”

739: “Tell me again.”

740: “You have no idea how much I want you.”

741: “Say it.”

742: “I’m gonna fuck you so hard that you forget you ever even met that asshole.”

743: “You better shut that pretty little mouth before I put it to work, doll.”

744: “I think that's the first time I’ve heard you moan… It was like a fucking melody.”

745: “I really want to kiss you right now.” “Then do it.”

746: “You’re not taking me to bed. Ever.”

747: “Who said it had to be on the bed?”

748: “She may seem like lollipops and rainbows but I bet behind closed doors she’s latex and whips.”

749: “Ah, he’s playing hard-to-get. That's cute.” 750: “For the love of fuck.”

[luminisvii]

anyway i’ve been playing three houses on maddening lately because i hate myself, and i also hated looking at tier lists that put some characters who are actually quite bad for high difficulty up top, i made my own tier list of suggested feth characters for if you do a maddening run. this is really just so i can scream about what characters i think are best (spoiler alert: it’s lysithea)

so, here we go, tell’s three houses tier list!

disclaimer: based on personal experience, not all characters have been used on maddening, but i have played the game like... eight times. on my ninth run. so i have some pretty decent data on majority of the characters. 

tier is determined by how easy a character is to use, how much investment they require, and stat growths. crests+relics also influence this, since people who can use relics effectively are better. the game tells me not to judge based on crests, but come on! 

lords are not included, jeritza is also not because he’s CF post skip exclusive, but come on, we all know where he’d place anyway

the real tier list is this: if you’re playing on normal or hard, literally anyone is fine. follow your heart. invest in who you like. on maddening, you unfortunately need to be a little more discerning. and sometimes, you just get rng screwed, even with the best, so rip lmao 

TOP TIER (FOR COOL KIDS ONLY)

-lysithea: the coolest kid, doesn’t need a bed time. obvious bc her spell list and stats and access to relic are great. also look at her. shes bappy. she says so herself in her support with cyril (the only valid cyril support) all jokes aside, she can go down the basic mage line and mow down anyone who comes within her insane range. she also does well as a valkyrie, but with the speed penalty, i don’t recommend her staying in the class for long. just get uncanny blow! then hades will never miss! 

-felix: he may be a shadow the hedgehog motherfucker but he has one important thing that shadow doesnt: crest of fraldarius. i guess shadow has a gun, though. felix is just straightforward gameplay baby. you send him at something and it dies. go crest boy go!

-mercedes: im legally obligated to put mercie in here because of her personal, her crest, and fortify. although restore is also super neat! miss mercie is just plain reliable as a healer. easily goes through the priest line to gremory.

-balthus: extremely helpful early game, doesn’t fall off later either. his personal skill of str/def +6 when below half health means he can either straightforwardly tank or just punch shit so hard it doesn’t have a chance to strike back. also gets a relic, healing focus, and a major crest that allows him to heal, so he’s a one man army. he does one thing really well and that’s use his fists to liquefy his opponents. also gets rally strength if you care about that. my favorite strategy with him is to let the damn poison strike archers knock his health down and then just go to town, combined with vantage for REAL fun. forget war monk, this guy should just go to war master

-sylvain: this little slut will join you if you’ve got boobs so he’s real handy to have around. plus he’s got some great qualities: flexible, strong, free relic, and maybe kinda hot i guess. you could make him a paladin, but you should give him a giant lizard. he can basically become any of the master classes with ease, although i would not recommend putting him into magic classes that much unless you wanna do a wholly mage sylvie build. will still perform just fine as a dark mage even without dedicated magery. but seriously, dragon

-petra: you want crit??? you got crit!!! this little lady can not only crit like hell but also dodge tank really well. i had fun making her a falcoknight once and just watching her line it all up and tear it all down. petra is reliable and stronk and also horrible to fight against so just. recruit her, please

-constance: entirely here because of bolting. for the low price of her reason being A you can nuke enemies from across the map. while you could make her the canon class of dark flier, i for one think the warlock line is better, because that’s four uses of bolting and even more if her crest activates. she also has a similar statline to lysithea and hits like a truck with other spells, and with bolting can supply long range support, so really, what’s not to love? the rest of her spells are good too. i go for gremory over dark flier bc while the mobility is great, x4 bolting is even better. 

PRETTY GOOD TIER

-ingrid: extremely reliable, only down here instead of in the cool kids category bc her strength kinda sucks. i love ingrid though! she’s got a gambit gimmick and a crest+relic! ingrid with the chalice is super funny and i highly recommend it. i watched her fucking OWN every single siege tome user like that

-ignatz: some will say he sucks. some would argue his utility as a debuffer and rallybot. i will argue this ungodly crit. ignatz is a very luck man, blessed with great opportunities and a base crit value beyond any other. the little man will strike you down in the name of the goddess before you even know what’s going on. with a little help his strength will match the others and if you slap as much crit up on him as possible then it’ll never end. ignatz could be a one man army if he could crit more than one person at once. unfortunately he’s stuck to one divine judgment at a time. you can either use his 55% luck growth and archer level dex to gamble on a high crit rate, or you can stack his personal with another hit +20 to basically never miss anything. if you play deer, this man is a must.

-hilda: the usual, a crest, a relic, good times, a nice personal, but also like. she slaps. in general. pretty sick with an axe but works nicely as almost any physical class (i haven’t tried sword, though) because she naturally goes down the warrior line she can get some real fun times going. or just give her a lizard! women love swarms of lizards. she is a delicate little flower who will end a motherfucker

-ferdinand: fairly reliable as a cavalier class, and comes with some natural dodge tanky capability and access to seteth’s spear of assal and ochain shield which make him restore health like crazy and his personal will stay on. also a counter attack block is nice! he’s got some nice combat arts too. just a pretty straightforward cavalier. good times

-seteth: and while we’re on the crest of cichol, seteth is gonna make sure you never raise a finger against him again. you won’t survive. the only prepromote i use. he has good base stats, good growths, and he just does really well at what he does! he may come in a little late but he’s strong as fuck and is shredded. i tend to favor him over ferdie for the cichol linked items, but also i’m biased towards this anxiety dad, so take that as you will

-marianne: she tends to get left out of the healer talks because like most of the deer, she’s kind of weird. i will make an argument for her. what she lacks in utility she makes up for sheer raw power. while her crest won’t be of much use until very late and even then her sword prowess is not what you should be using her for, her spell list is all high power and she also comes with easy access to silence, which can nicely stall for some time against powerful mage enemies. she also gets a heal to herself if she’s standing next to an animal since all her friends are horses. still kinda slow as most healers are and not as much of a res tank, but a formidable edition nonetheless. blutgang is a good pinch hitter relic as well

-caspar: like most gauntlet users, caspar is good at one thing: punching. he is just really good at it. he’s perfectly geared towards being a war master. and he’ll perform that very well. he gets healing focus as one of his arts, so he can run off on his own if he wants. solidly reliable, will work at just. punching. go short king!

-yuri: the man’s utility is unrivaled. he’d go top tier if it weren’t for the fact that he’s got unreliable strength/magic growths. he could go either way as a physical attacker or a mage, but he naturally fits well in the assassin class along with trickster, and even dancer if you like (i’m trying that and honestly the male dancer animation is so sad. like. why can’t you put as much energy into it as the women.) but this man can go. hes fast. he’ll fuck you up

-hubert: while not as hard hitting as lysithea, the man still fucks things up with dark magic like she does. he lacks her double crests but he makes up for it by still smacking people’s nuts clean off and with the added bonus of range and debuffs dark magic provides. even better, you can make him a dark mage/bishop! however points off because they won’t let me stack fiendish blow. love u vampire man!!! unfortunately locked to CF so rip.

NICE TIER: 

-lorenz: i adore him but hes a little unreliable as things go. in house, hes the better paladin than leonie, and his personal grants him a nice damage bonus with a battalion. lorenz shines as a dark knight the most, he has a heavy hitting spell list and if you really want to, thyrsus is technically his relic even though everyone puts it on lysithea! i really like him and he can perform really well but unfortunately like most of the deer he is Weird and this can put him in strange places with his growths. tis a cruel world, being a lorenz stan!

-dorothea: also suffers from strange statline. for some reason they’re pushing sword with her. honestly, because she’s outperformed by other mages, even on black eagles i tend to put her into dancer and kinda forget about her. she has quite a bit in heavy hitting spells and her personal skill grants a very nice mini heal to people around her, but honestly, i usually favor lysithea over her. she functions best as pure support but can still pull through on the offense. sadly, the competition is really rough.

-ashe: does his job, and does it well. not as heavy of a hitter as some of his fellow archers, but still good nonetheless, and has access to deadeye for extra range (although don’t count on it on maddening). his personal means he can unlock things no matter what class he’s in, so you can focus on others! i personally think that, you guessed it, he should get a giant lizard.

-annette: she does well, sadly outperformed by other house mages. functions as a rallybot and gets crusher if you care about that. i missed crusher completely in my first lions run, whoops, and then in my second one i had constance so uh. sorry, annette! she’s so very sweet, but her spell list has her down here.

-leonie: im hiding before the leonie stans get me. sure, like sylvain, she has his ability and shared flexibility for any class, but unlike sylvain she lacks power, a crest, and a relic. i see people keep arguing that she’s a massive damage dealer, but i honestly never see it. she falls off damage wise really quick, even if she’s got more than enough speed to deal with it. she’s basically just a lamer sylvain or ingrid without the crest abilities that those two have to make them stronger. what? the game keeps TELLING me crest = bad but as far as i can tell, all the best characters have one! on maddening GD, she’ll be good at first, but she’ll drop.

-dedue: i would rank this man higher since i simply adore him but he’s SUPER difficult for me to use. his defense is unrivaled, this man will flinch at nothing, but his speed is almost always shit and he tends to get nuked from orbit by mages. i love him, i really do, but man he can be a lot to manage. he does really well early game but can’t keep up. which is a shame, i really like him :(

-flayn: she has quite a bit of capability with rescue and fortify, and her major crest means her healing is even more potent. however she’s a little slow, extremely fragile, joins low leveled after you’ve already invested in a different healer, and is not very strong. she IS a res tank, though, and learns seal magic, which adds to her res tanking capability. she also synergizes with the caduceus staff, so she can be very self sufficient, and hit from farther away! flayn does very well. the major penalty is a lackluster spell list and significant investment buy in.

-hapi: she’s… weird. i like hapi quite a bit but she’s got it worse than lorenz in terms of stat growth. her personal ability makes her an extreme aggro target for monsters and she can’t even avoid their attacks, and the bonus damage it grants unfortunately isn’t better than fellow DLC mage constance, who hits harder just out of sheer momentum. for having a healing crest, she doesn’t have a particularly interesting white magic line. her dark magic grants her utility similar to hubert, but she’s slower and can’t quite strike like he does. sadly miss hapi has to be down here. id like to put her higher but boy did she struggle

-raphael: well, he’ll do his job. he’s only beat by caspar since caspar has a little bit better tools at his disposal, but they’re basically the same character. raph will do very good at punching the living shit out of things. starts off better than caspar, but unfortunately in my current run i have balthus so raph had to get benched

YOU CAN DO BETTER TIER

-bernadetta: she’ll work alright, but only with lots of attention, and her personal doesn’t seem to make up the difference. for a sniper she seems to have far less hit than her rivals in ashe and ignatz, especially since ignatz makes him more reliable. her crest doesn’t actually grant her much since it has such a low trigger rate and by the time it does work she probably already can double. also she gains no levels between pre and post skip which is hilarious but like. HELLO? ive also been told she has the worst starting stats. personally, i only use her on BE runs. i know she’s a popular character and a lot of people rank her highly for persecution complex and the fact that she learns both encloser and deadeye, but deadeye is unreliable in maddening and she’s a lot of work to keep up with the others.

-cyril: he can become a killer, he honestly does really well, but he starts so far behind you need to invest a significant amount into him. i don’t recall him having a particularly stellar combat art line either, but if you choose to put in all the work of catching the kid up, he will do well. but it’s not worth it most of the time. i use him on church route runs bc it feels right. on other runs, you’ll already have someone who fits his niche--the guy becomes a wyvern rider, and the likes of sylvain can do much better in this line.

-linhardt: kind of a shittier flayn, without fortify or rescue. lackluster spell list for both black and white, and terrible growths. he’ll do fine if you play eagles, but if you’re going to import a healer, mercie or flayn is the better option. 

-anna: oh lord, anna is difficult. her offensive stats are horrendous. flayn hits harder than her. with her unique stat line, inability to get supports, weakness in authority, and all around just odd set up, anna is not a reliable character and you should use yuri instead. they’ve basically got the same crest.

DIDN’T USE SO NO OPINION TIER: 

-hanneman

-manuela (heard she’s not good anyway)

-alois

-gilbert

-catherine

-shamir

(yes there’s a trend to this which is past FEs have trained me away from using prepromotes!)

and there we go! im still biased towards GD but the characters who do best are the ones who have a clear class line to follow and a statline that matches it. 

[sanchoyo]

sksksk coffee shop au + roommate au for shigaraki and spinner bc i know u lov them

WHY WAS REPLACING THEIR HATRED FOR HEROES TO A HATRED FOR CUSTOMERS SO EASY. ilu thank you I do lov them

                                                  _________________

     Shuichi was so goddamn tired of his backwater town, full of small-minded people, so when he realized he’d finally saved enough to move to the city, the relief was so overwhelming he started crying.

The City! Full of opportunities, and no one- or at least, not as many people, would look twice at him! He’d saved enough for two months of rent, plus utilities and food! 

…For the small town rates. In his excitement, he might have forgotten how much pricier The City was; shattered were his dreams of lofty penthouses. But..he could look for roommates! The idea made him nervous, but this was The City! He could reinvent himself as someone who liked to be social! 

…And his money was running lower every day he squatted at the shitty motel, and every day his mom called, and he still didn’t have an answer to soothe her endless worries. He wasn’t going back home, he was too damn stubborn.

But by the weeks end, his hope had nearly gone out. As he got more desperate, shitty places started looking better- he could ignore a little mold! A terrible draft, leaking roof and no heat? Well, better than rats! 

There was a wanted ad on craigslist (yes, shady drug deal craigslist- he’d gotten some cheap, cool stuff (like swords!) in the past though, so don’t knock it!) for a roommate. The listing showed a nice apartment- it was no penthouse, but..it didn’t have mold, or visible cracks in the wall. It was short and to the point:

-Roommate wanted. No heroes, No cops. 20000 Yen / mo. Utilities included. Reply to set up interview.

…And why was it so cheap? The no cops and no heroes part threw him off for only a second; but he wasn’t exactly a fan of either, so no big deal. He replied, asking for the interview, and only got an address and date back, for tomorrow. Thank god. This was it! He was going to get a roommate, and get started in The City, and not get any organs harvested, probably! 

                                                       ——————-

He had the jitters; the potential roommate, (potential organ harvester), wanted to meet at an ungodly hour, so he decided to fill his day with caffeine. Because more jitters was what he needed, and it was cold out so it was totally justified, and looked like a more adult choice than an energy drink, even if that’s what he was craving. He needed something huge, with too much sugary shit on it.

“Uh..large..mocha..?”

The menu was practically hieroglyphic to him.

“A venti?” The man behind the counter asked. Shuichi floundered. He’d never been in a real coffee shop like this; he was a total fast food junkie, his old town only having a single McDonalds.

“Uh, is that the big one?”

The man was enjoying this. Where other people might have been helpful, he was just grinning, leaning on the counter. Shuichi was even more flustered when he got a good look, because powder blue hair tied up into a ponytail framed sharp red eyes: this wasn’t an average barista, this was a Hot Barista. And his gaze wasn’t letting up, not even a little.

“Yeah, it’s the big one. This is your first time ordering here, isn’t it?”

“You don’t have to be rude about it.” He fumbled. “Yeah, a venti.”

“Wasn’t trying to be rude. Actually, how about this. I throw in a few espresso shots for free.”

“Really?! Sure!” He had no idea what that meant, but the man’s sweet smile convinced him.

“Okay, what’s the name for that?” 

“Sh..Spinner!” It was a snap decision; Being in The City, he needed to totally reinvent himself! Shuichi Iguichi was a socially anxious mess, depressed from a small town’s small ideas; Spinner was a cool, brave, outgoing guy who wasn’t afraid to try new things in his coffee or talk to new people!

It only took a minute; at this hour, not a lot of people were waiting around.

                                                        ______

He was shaking so bad when he got to the apartment and couldn’t actually feel his sky-rocking heart anymore.

“Fuckin’ asshole poisoned me, stupid city-” His teeth were chattering, and he pulled his thin jacket around himself tighter. He’d downed the massive cup of coffee in one go because it tasted good! But something was definitely wrong, his heart had never raced this fast in his whole life. Even after several energy drinks on a serious gaming night! 

The place looked normal, maybe a sketchy neighborhood, but nothing too bad.

A single knock on the door was all it took before it nearly flung off it’s hinges.

“Omigosh hiii! You must be the new roommate!” A blonde girl was grinning up at him with fangs bared. “What’s your name? I’m Toga!”

“Uh- I haven’t- I’m not really a roommate yet, I just g-”

“Toga, give the guy some space! I’m Jin, don’t even think about coming in my room or I’ll kill you! Haha, but actually come in whenever you want, don’t listen to me!”

“Uh-” 

“Honestly, you’re both crowding him. Give the boy some space.” A..magician..? Said. Yes. A Magician. Right.

The City was wild. More people kept popping out of rooms…

“Hey.” A man sitting on the couch waved. “Dabi.”

A woman beside him waved a hand too, grinning behind stylish glasses. “Magne, but everybody calls me big sis, so don’t be formal~”

“Uh. Sh..Spinner. Am I at the right place?”

“Rents cheap ‘cause we all live here! Pretty cushy, right?” Toga spun her arms, as if to show him the living room. It..was nice enough, but for this many people? “Not that all of us hafta pay, but it’s good for people in need! Tomura’s so nice like that-”

“Kurogiri does the renting out for the landlord because he’s usually busy.” The magician informed him. “But he’s out this evening running errands, so you’ll have to talk to Tomura.”

“S-Sure. Where-”

“Over at the end of the hall.” Magne informed him. Everyone had gone oddly quiet, a stark contrast to the chaos earlier.

“Good luck, Spinner!” Jin saluted. “We won’t forget you!”

“He isn’t dead yet.” Dabi deadpanned. He wanted to think they were joking; but could he be sure? 

He knocked on the door labeled ‘KEEP OUT’, and slowly twisted the knob. The room was pitch black except a game pause screen from a computer, illuminating crushed soda cans and powder blue hair.

No fucking way.

“You’re the coffee guy!”

“How are you still standing?” Gone was the clean uniform with too many buttons and the messy cute ponytail; the guy was in black pajamas and looked like he’d slammed hard drugs or something; his eyebags looked pretty serious in this lighting. 

“Do you get off on trying to give customers heart attacks?! Seriously-”

“I gave you a free product, why are you complaining?”

“Dude!” 

The guy, Tomura? Had enough decency to look a little embarrassed.

“…I thought you were a newbie hero or something.”

“What?! So you spiked my coffee?” He remembered the ‘no hero’ bit from the ad; this guy clearly wasn’t a fan. But… “Why would you think that?”

“…” He idly scratched his neck, and his eyes drifted to Shuichi’s well-defined arms. “I dunno.”

“…Sure. So you work at a cafe during the day and rent out apartments by night. I, uh..wanted to ask about that- the apartment!”

“Yeah, so this is it. The landlord is a regional manager for all the AFOffee’s Coffees around here; pretty much everyone here works at one- Toga doesn’t because she’s still in school, Mr. C adopted her so they live here…you can live here if you have a criminal record or whatever, bad credit, the landlord isn’t strict, but he’s got two rules.”

“Uh-no heroes or cops, right?”

“That’s one of them. The other is that if you’re able to work, you have to work at one of his shops. He’s gotta pretty fierce competition with All Might’s Express Marts. The pay’s good.”

A place to live and a job? He’d never heard of such a law- was it even legal to force your tenants to work for you? He didn’t know enough about the laws to know, and the place was shady, so were the people; but..but he’d come this far! He’d already decided he could handle shady! If he had to throw away his morals to make it here, so be it! He’d work for them!

“O-Okay! Yeah, let’s do it!”

“Okay, ‘Spinner’. I’m Tomura. Shigaraki.” He shuffled some papers around; they were crumpled up under the cans of soda, something spilt and stained on them. “Just fill it out. Also, if you quit the job before you move out, the manager will kill you.”

He laughed, and Spinner hoped he was joking.

But he kinda doubted it.

                                                              ——–

So the first day was rough- by the end of the week he was ready to give up and die. He’d entered a pseudo-coffee-cult living situation. When Tomura had said the ‘manager’, he’d meant himself. His landlord- (who, apparently adopted him? Toga and Jin told him in late-night gossip-y talks that it was ‘complicated’ and that Kurogiri, who lived in the apartment above theirs basically raised Tomura for the landlord. The man seemed like the only one who ever brought food over that wasn’t junk.) Anyway, the landlord? Was also the district manager of all the AFOffee’s- and the founder, so kinda also the CEO- and Shigaraki was in line to inherit the whole business, so he got an easy ride into managerial status at a young age. 

And he for sure did get off on fucking up orders, putting way too much sugar or caffeine in them and watching people try the vile concoctions. He was a sadist for sure. Maybe even the devil. Spinner had watched him down a cup that was half espresso shots and half ‘LOV energy drink XTREME ENERGY’ topped with whipped cream without flinching.

Also, that might have been the moment Spinner decided he felt strongly towards him; which way was debatable,it was always rapidly oscillating between a serious crush and seriously wanting to crush him. Because he got the absolute ass jobs, like scrubbing toilets and cleaning stuff around the bar instead of doing anything important or cool!

…As cool as you could get in a cafe, like, doing those cool patterns in coffee cream! 

So he’d hit his limit, and stormed up to Shigaraki, crossing his arms and trying to look stern.

“Oi, Shigaraki! Why do you keep giving me the worst jobs?”

Red eyes blinked slowly at him, like Shuichi was stupid. Which made him more mad. 

“Seriously! I want to be up here making the stuff!”

“…Sure, if you feel so strongly about it, I’ll train you up here.” He was surprised by how easily that was resolved, and almost felt bad for being so snappy.

“Uh. Okay! Thanks!”

“Yeah. So let’s start with sizes, since I know you don’t know them.” 

It dawned on him, sometime later, that Shigaraki had been giving him the easy jobs, one hundred percent, absolutely. Customer service was a huge bitch, customers were all evil, and he was seriously considering doing some very mean, villainous things to them. He was only human! It wasn’t his fault if he wasn’t going as fast as they wanted, or if he messed up sometimes! 

(Also, the coffee machine itself was distracting. It had googly eyes, and Tomura called it ‘Noumu’ affectionately. And he was totally distracted and spilling shit all the time because of that, not because of how cute his boss slash housemate was- yeah.)

                                                     __________

“I hate people,” He seethed. Shigaraki nodded. They were in the break room, about to open. “How do you even deal with that?”

“I hate them too. I deal with it because I’m the manager.” It was a shockingly mature answer. “Also, I get to tell them ‘no’ and tell them how stupid they are without being fired.”

Ah.

“But if they give you too much of a hard time, let me know.”

“Sure,” He said, noncommittally, because he didn’t really feel too comfortable relying on his boss too much; even if they lived together and kinda had gaming nights and stuff, it was like Shigaraki had a ‘day’ and ‘night’ mode; by night he was the kinda creepy, but fun gaming buddy roommate among several in their weird, kind of sweet clique, but during the day he put on a brave face and marched into the warzone that was fronting as a quaint coffee shop on the corner. It was admirable; Spinner really liked that about the guy. 

No matter what, he never bullshitted either. Which was why Spinner was so conflicted about telling him how he’d been feeling, because while Shigaraki seemed to carefully consider how all of them felt, what if he was so honest that he’d laugh in his face? He could barely imagine it, but what if? The thought killed him, so he pushed it back.

                                                              ——-

Opening the door was like opening the gates of hell; a businessman marched up to the counter, toting a Very Important Business Briefcase, and sunglasses indoors- but of course still made time to glare at Spinner with a tilt of his head.

“Two tall, iced, sugar-free, vanilla latte with half whole and half soy milk. And one non-fat frappuccino, tall, with two pumps vanilla.”

It was Friday, opening hour, and there was already a line, and this jerkoff wanted some really extra shit. 

“Sure, can I get a name?” He got the name, and even made the drinks perfectly in record time! Not only were they perfect, but they were pretty as hell, and his handwriting had gotten a lot less shaky since starting this job.

He’d been so pleased when handing the drinks over that he had held them a little too tightly and one of his claws slipped into the plastic, making it go everywhere on the counter.

“Oh- I’m so sorry!” He gasped, pulling it back. Luckily, it hadn’t gotten on the guy, and it was iced, not hot, so- “I’ll make you another-”

“This is unbelievable. I’m going to be late to a meeting with the CEO- do you have any idea who I am? I’m about to be a business partner with this company you work for- I can get you fired over this.”

“What? I can make you another-” He gritted his teeth. “There’s no need to-”

“I want to speak to the manager, now,” The man had the audacity to snap his gloved fingers. Spinner was reaching his breaking point. 

Then, deathly calm, Tomura cleared his throat from behind Spinner.

“I’m the manager.”

The man looked far too smug, and Tomura looked composed, but there was something wild in his eyes. Spinner took a step back unconsciously to get distance from the shitshow that was about to go down.

“Your employee spilled my drink everywhere. I think I should get something for that, and I think you should discipline him for that. If my subordinates messed up that badly, there’d be worse than a firing.”

“Is that so? What would you have me give you?”

“Upgrade my drink for free- no, the whole order free, make it a grande. That seems fair for my time.”

“A grande is smaller than a venti, dipshit.” He actually reached across the counter and ripped the man forward by his tie, halfway across the counter. Other customers yelped and flinched back, but Spinner just stared, wide-eyed in awe. “You have some nerve, coming in here asking my employee if he knows who you are when you don’t know who I am. He’s worth a hundred of you, and I’m going to call right now and make sure that you don’t only never get that business deal, but that you never step foot in an AFOffee again.”

“You can’t do that- I’m- I’m in the yakuza, I’ll-”

Tomrua slammed his head on the table so hard he made the man black out.

“Dude,” Spinner whispered. “That was so badass. Where-”

“The landlord used to be into crime, but decided to open up chain restaurants instead. Turns out ruling through capitalism is easier than villainy, but I picked up some tricks in the transition.”

“Uh,” Spinner’s mouth felt like cotton. That..explained a lot, actually. “Cool.”

“Yeah, we’re going to have to close for the day and clean this up; we can’t have anyone putting this on social media. Maybe I was too hasty?” He scratched his neck. “When I saw him berating you like that I got angry.”

So Spinner was certain those strong feelings were admiration, and kinda love? Because he’d never had someone fuck a guy up like that for him, and something about that was so…

So violently sweet.

                                                —————–

“How do you do it?” He found himself asking while they were sweeping up; Kurogiri had stopped by and portalled the concussed yakuza away a while ago, and only the two of them were left in the shop. “Don’t you get fed up with that all the time?”

“Of course I do. I feel like I have so much pressure on me all the time, being next in line for this. I want to crush everything; I want to make those damn customers feel the despair they try to put on us.”

“I do too!” spinner gripped his broom tighter. “I want to see you destroy them all! So-!”

“Spinner.” Tomura interrupted him. “Kurogiri wants to reno one of the rooms into an activity room since there’s so many of us now.”

“What?” His heart practically stopped beating. He had been in the middle of a confession here!

“So..move into my room.” 

“…There’s one bed.”

“And?” Tomura shrugged. “Kurogiri and Compress sleep together. I think Dabi and Magne-”

“I- What the hell. Of course I want to sleep with you, you don’t need to ask in such a roundabout way!” As soon as the words were out of his mouth he could feel his cheeks burning. “There’s so much I like about you, but you’re the most frustrating guy ever! Seriously, you-”

“Jeez, I wasn’t being roundabout, stop yelling-” Tomura had gotten up in his face, but instead of squabbling more, he brushed his lips against Spinner’s briefly, effectively shutting down all of his major brain functions. “-Oh, and relationships with employees is against the rules, so you’re fired.”

“What?!”

                                                    ————-

“Those two seem cozy.” Magne commented.

“Please, we’re all a little cozy with each other. How long have we been living together?” Jin waved a hand. “They’re basically married!”

“I heard Tomura fired Spinner! Like, fired him!” Toga pouted. “He made up some weird rule that we had to work for him or something to spend time with him at work ‘cause he thought he was all pretty, but then cut it short! I don’t get it!”

“Ah, isn’t it obvious? It’s young love,” Compress sipped his tea. “They were making eyes since Spinner came in here, and then they were coworkers, and now…”

“And they were roommates.” Dabi said, smirking.

“Oh my god!” Toga shrieked with laughter. “They were roommates!”  

[imtrynnawriteshit]

Kassandra x reader x Alkibiades

I have nothing to say for myself

@ the anon who requested this: you're now allowed (and in some countries even legally obligated) to punch me!!!

Also you're v good friends with Aspasia in this bc the beginning had been stuck in my head for ages lmao

Thank c:

Words: I edited this on Tumblr mobile and now I'm too lazy to check (I'll do it later though. Maybe)

Warnings: Two swear words, I think. And the usual: suggestive themes, terrible writing, too many commas, me projecting my thirst onto y'all (I'm sorry, pals :/)

Characters: Kassandra, Alkibiades, Reader, a whole lotta name throwing, Herodotos makes a friendly appearance :)

Relationships: Kassandra x reader, Alkibiades x reader, Kassandra x reader x Alkibiades

Request: Your Kassandra/Reader gave me an idea for a request so sorry if its dumb haha. Basically I was super happy you included Alkibiades because hes my FAV and I'd die for him. ANYWAY. Could you write one where the reader is at Perikles symposium, and has always had a thing for Alkibiades but was too shy to take him up on his offers, and always regretted it. But then she meets Kassandra and WHAM INSTANT CRUSH so she basically convinces the reader to... eh. Join in the fun? Heh.

Damn Aspasia and her need to arrive fashionably late. She’d promised she wouldn’t be too long this time, but you should’ve known better. And here you thought you'd done a good job convincing her.

You’d been standing around for ages, casually mingling with the guests and steering very, very clear of Sokrates, no matter how many times he tried to catch your eye. You’d have to drain the city of it's wine before you could even consider the thought of engaging him in conversation. At a party, no less. You were here to enjoy yourself, and that did not include a conversation about philosophy going nowhere.

You’d just left Euripedes and Aristophanes to tease Sophokles when you ran into an already extremely tipsy Alkibiades, who seemed thoroughly pleased to see you.

His hands immediately landed on your waist to steady himself, yours going to his shoulders to aid him. You held on to him softly (after all, he might end up stumbling again, and you were a good friend who looked out for others; or at least, that's what you told yourself), and you almost had to physically restrain yourself from running your hands through his hair. Your stomach fluttering, you prayed to every deity that you didn't end up making an absolute fool of yourself.

“I hoped I'd run into you tonight," he paused, leaning in closer, taking in your form hungrily. "And don't you look absolutely delicious."

By the gods. You tensed slightly, your hands beginning to tremble a little. Thankfully, he didn't notice, although his hands did drop to your hips.

"Join me, wouldn’t you? The night is still young, and there’s so much more we can do to make it more…interesting.”

At Aspasia's request, you'd worn the robes she'd gifted you a while back. They were flattering, very much so, and Alkibiades’ attention proved it.

Then again, he didn’t really need an excuse to proposition you.

“I-It’s nice to see you too, Alkibiades, but-“

“But you can’t, yes, so I’ve heard. Many times. Trust me (Y/N), one of these days, I’m going to see if you’re just as magnificent behind closed doors.”

You just shook your head, smiling bashfully as he turned to walk away, stumbling into a pillar. Heaving a sigh, you decided to at least try and have a proper conversation with him tonight, one that didn't involve you stumbling over your words. Baby steps, right?

You were in the middle of hyping yourself up when you noticed Herodotos standing alone by the entryway, watching the festivities. You were approaching him when he was suddenly joined by a woman, someone you didn’t know.

But by the gods did you want to.

Herodotos smiled and shook your hand when you were closer to the pair, accidentally interrupting their conversation.

“(Y/N)! It’s good to see you again."

“You too, Herodotos. I didn't mean to interrupt, I'm sorry."

He smiled, shaking his head. "You always were too polite for your own good. It's no problem at all."

Even as you addressed him, you glanced at the woman by his side. "It’s been a while. I haven’t seen you in Athens, lately.”

“I’ve taken to travelling the Greek world. This is Kassandra of Sparta”, noticing your gaze, he gestured to the woman beside him, who was watching you with an expression you couldn’t quite place, “a misthios, and the commander of the ship I'm sailing on. Kassandra, this is (Y/N) of, well, Athens."

"A pleasure to meet you, Kassandra."

"Believe me, (Y/N), the pleasure is all mine."

You could've melted right there. The sound of your name rolling off her tongue was now possibly one of your favourites. Your face must've given you away, because you swore you could see the beginnings of a smirk on her lips. That you now couldn't stop staring at. You were quickly snapped out of your daze by Herodotos excusing himself to find the host.

Kassandra was quick to continue the conversation.

"How do you know Perikles?"

Thankfully, you'd become accustomed enough to this question that you weren't too flustered, and your response was almost automatic.

"Oh, my brother is one of the proedroi, and doesn't usually attend parties, so I'm forced to come instead. Not that I'm complaining, of course, it’s how I’ve managed to become well acquainted with Perikles and Aspasia." You smiled softly at her, trying not to let your eyes drop below her face.

It didn’t work, but you also didn't regret it too much. Those arms were sinful, and you could only imagine what they could do-

You shook your head slightly, mortified at how you'd been so caught up in your daydream you'd taken to ogling her, and thought you caught a glimpse of amusement in her eyes.

Why, oh why did this only ever happen to you?

You needed to leave before you embarrassed yourself any further, but at the same time, you were reluctant to deprive yourself of her company. Which was ridiculous, considering you barely knew her.

As if you weren’t bad enough when it came to Alkibiades.

At the same time, the fact that she was from Sparta intrigued you. And you were nothing if not curious. Clearing your throat, you continued, "but I must say, I'm surprised to see a Spartan here. What brings you to Athens?”

At this, she seemed to consider you for a moment. Her gaze had become calculating, and you almost felt uncomfortable under her scrutiny. But you must've looked trustworthy to her.

Or just harmless enough to deal with in case she was wrong.

(You hoped it was the former.)

“I’m searching for a Spartan woman. My mother. Herodotos thought I might have been able to find some information here."

You frowned in thought. You weren't sure of how much information she'd find, but the least you could do was point her in the right direction. “Unfortunately, I won’t be of much help to you-"

"Now, that is unfortunate. I would have loved to repay you in any way I could." Was it just you, or were her eyes lidded?

You had a hard time trying to finish what you were saying when your treacherous mind was instead focused on the suggestive tone her voice had taken, but you managed.

"but, I think, um, Alkibiades might know something. Aspasia too, but she - she isn’t here yet.”

She let out a little chuckle. "So you were of help anyway. Thank you, (Y/N)."

She smiled then, and gently squeezed your shoulder. Your skin burned under her touch, and almost as if she knew that, she let her hand trail down your arm before pulling away to talk to the others, throwing you another inexplicable look over her shoulder.

You definitely needed more to drink.

-

You were stunned, to say the least, when she found you again in the kitchens. The pitcher of wine in your hands, a source of comfort only a moment ago, now felt heavy with...shame, was it? You couldn't tell. The rush in which you set it on the table behind you only made you it worse.

Kassandra, however, didn’t notice. Or maybe just didn’t care. She stepped closer to you, glancing around the tiny room as you involuntarily took a step back.

Your nerves must have made themselves known, because she only closed the distance between the two of you, her amusement plain on her features now.

“I don’t bite, you know.”

What on earth were you supposed to say to that?

“I-I didn’t-“

“Unless”, she continued, ignoring your, frankly, pathetic attempt at redeeming yourself, “you’d like me to.”

Fuck.

You let out a shaky laugh, hyper aware of everything around you: the table digging into your back, Kassandra only inches away from you, the tension in the air.

Gulping audibly, you cleared your throat.

“Are you - is there something I can help you with?”

“You know, I believe there is. Alkibiades asked me to find some oil for him. You seem to be well acquainted with the kitchen", her voice had a teasing lilt to it as she shot the pitcher a pointed look. You wished the gods would take pity on you and strike you where you stood. They didn't. "So I hoped you'd know.”

You did, and with a stuttered "of course", you turned to grab it. Handing it to her proved to be a little difficult, though, when she pulled you even closer (if that was possible), her hands on your waist. You were fairly certain your heart had stopped beating.

“You’re looking a little tense.”

“Oh, uh, I hadn’t noticed. I think it might be the wine-”

“Wine relaxes you, (Y/N), but it looks like it hasn’t worked at all. Here, come with me.”

And before you could protest, you were led away, one of her hands now on the small of your back. In the blink of an eye, you found yourself in front of a door, which opened to reveal Alkibiades.

A very naked Alkibiades.

You immediately averted your eyes, questioning every decision that led you to this point. Kassandra, on the other hand, seemed unaffected.

"Your oil."

Oh, you were still holding it. Still looking anywhere but at the two of them, you held it out for Alkibiades to take. And for the second time, you were left holding it as he reached for you instead.

Kassandra grinned. "You're a shy one, aren't you?

"I just...didn't expect -"

"There's a lot you wouldn't expect from me, but I always satisfy." Alkibiades' grip tightened around you. "What say we put this oil to good use and I prove it?"

You hesitated, but you knew that you wanted to. Especially with the way those two were looking at you.

"I certainly wouldn't be opposed to it." Kassandra said, wearing a salacious smile that was mirrored on Alkibiades and almost made your knees buckle.

"After all, what's a party without a little fun?"

Oh, what the hell.

"You're right." The gleeful surprise on their faces filled you with a sense of confidence. "A little fun never hurt anyone."

"Although, my fun is hardly little", Alkibiades said as they led you in. Only one coherent thought ran through your mind as the door closed behind you:

Fuck baby steps.

[fckeverything-v]

 1. Do you bite or lick ice cream? Lick

 2. What is home to you? Alabama:/

 3. What was the last lie you told? I couldnt tell you

 4. Does everyone deserve the truth? Maybe not?

 6. Describe a moment in which you did something unacceptable in a bad situation. Walk away, move states..

 7. List two things that are more easily done than said. (No, I didn't mix them up.) Being alone & fuck irdk

 8. When was the last time you worked really hard to achieve something? Mhm 4 years ago.

 9. How many all nighters have you pulled? A lotttt haha

 10. If humans didn't evolve to laugh or smile, how would we express our happiness instead? Woah people express that? no but humans would probably bone all the time.

 11. How many romantic "things" or "flings" have you had? Only 2 (technically 3) serious relationships. Many flings.

 12. What is your paradise? I dont have one :(

 13. What is your favorite background noise? (Ex. Water dripping, people talking.) Music

 14. How many hearts do you think you have broken? Only 1... maybe 2 soon. (not you hehe.)

 15. What is the most important thing about electronics? What does this say about you? Finding friendships through social media or other platforms. And mhm probably that im a lonely pos

 16. Why do people care about celebrities? Do you care about celebrities? Because they're pretty. Not really.

 17. What is the most annoying thing someone can do to you? Chew loud.

 18. Do you overexaggerate? What are the pros and cons of this? Eh, yeah. And I cant think of any pros.

 19. Have you played any instruments before? Which instruments? Piano, saxophone

 20. Do you like taking selfies? Why or why not? No. I stare at it until i hate it.

 21. List 3 things you like about yourself?

 22. What is the best advice someone has ever given you? To not give up. As simple as that sounds.

 23. Do you have what it takes to raise a child? Why or why not? No. Dont you need to be mentally stable- i would hope so..

 24. How do you cheer yourself up after a bad day? Play games for hours.

 25. When was the last time you felt awkward? Ha. Literally 5 minutes ago.

 26. Are you introverted or extroverted? Or a mixture of both? Introverted x100000

 27. What constitutes a good friend? Someone who doesnt give up on you amd atleast tries to understand.

 28. Would you rather have a lot of friends to hang out with or just one best friend? One best friend.

 29. In a regular day, what do you not want to hear? 'Hey hows your day going'

 30. What is your dream job? Fuck, is this still a question.. to be a homicide detective in the biggest city i can think of.

 31. Is it better to be lazy but smart or hardworking but unintelligent? Lazy and smart DUH

 32. What is a truth about yourself that others find hard to believe?

 33. What have you always wondered about the other gender? What it feels like to GET OFF. DUH.

 34. Which fantasy world would you like to visit the most? Um my own dreams i guess.

 35. Describe the worst friend you have ever befriended. Im not wasting my time describing that.

 36. Imagine that you have switched bodies with someone you don't know. You can't switch back. What do you do? Live it up. I think id feel happy honestly.

 37. If you found the recipe for immortality, would you sell it or would you burn it? Mh. Sell it, their problem now and im rich.

 38. What is the most important, applicable class you have ever taken? Current events.

 39. Name the last book you read. Dammed- chuck palahniuk

 40. Imagine that you are unable to express emotion. How would this affect your world? No change

 41. When was the last time you made the first move? Um never..

 42. What is your opinion on electronic music such as dubstep or trap? Trash

 43. What was the last tv show youve watched? Rick and Morty.

 44. Do you like and appreciate your life? I appreciate what i am trying to do.

 45. Do you like and appreciate yourself?

 46. When was the last time you cried? Yesterday

 47. What are you scared of? Heights.

 48. What is the most embarrassing, cringe-worthy thing you have ever done? Um live my life everyday probably.

 49. What are some of your hobbies? .... literally WORSE question. I smoke cigs. Is that a hobby?

 50. What is a superficial yet annoying mistake you constantly make?

 51. Are you a good friend? What makes you a good friend? If not, what makes you a bad friend? I feel like i am both. I try to be there for them. But also, im so hard to get so i feel like i might come off the wrong way a lot.

 52. Do you honestly learn from your mistakes? Honestly; nope.

 53. What have you learned the hard way? Not to care what people think. After wasting my whole life. Im starting to realize it doesnt matter.

 54. What is the most important thing to have in order to attain happiness? Follow your heart

 56. Are you a creative or a logical thinker? Both but probably logical.

 57. What is the smartest thing you have ever done?

 58. What is your ideal meal? Fuckk probably so good ass chicken with some gooooood asssssss mac and cheese. As lame as that sounds hahaha.

 59. What is the worst thing someone could do on a date? 1. Go on date with me

 60. Do you like animals? Which kind is your favorite? Yeah and dogs are cute but i love elephants.

 61. If you could turn one legal thing illegal, what would it be? Christmas.

 62. Do you have any guilty pleasures? Of courseeeee (;

 63. What is the best thing that the internet has ever created? Video games.

 64. Do you like playing video games? Which video games? Woah you read my mind of sum? Shooter games.

 65. What is your opinion on beauty in today's society? Bullshit

 66. Are you a morning person? When do you usually wake up? No not really and like 5pm nowadays.

 67. Do you have a favorite Disney movie? Character? No

 68. Would you rather live in the city or in the countryside? City but i love the countryside

 69. Would you rather live near the ocean or in the mountains? Mountains

 70. What are the best things about winter? Cold. Even though i hate it. Snow. Even if i dont see it. Trees dying.

 71. What scares you most about the future? Literally everything.

 72. What makes you feel old? Doing nothing.

 73. How many hours do you spend on the computer or phone on average? Idk like 5.

 74. What are some of your New Year's resolutions? Be a better me.

 75. What is your life story in 6 words?

 76. Describe yourself in one word. Awkward.

 77. What bad habits do you do? Smoking

 78. What genre of music do you listen to? everything

 79. Most prominent childhood memory? I would say, but its embarrassing that that's the memory.

 80. Imagine if you had an older brother. If you already have one, what is it like? If you don't, how would this change your life? My life would be so different. Maybe i would have someone to talk to.

 81. Spirit animal?

 82. Do you believe in horoscopes? Yes

 83. What is the worst advice you've ever been given?

 84. List the 3 most important people in your life right now. 1. Fox 2. Fox 3. Fox

 85. Favorite memory of your family. :/

 86. What do you look for in a relationship? Happiness

 87. Do you have a role model? Why or why not? No. I dont need it. But now that i think about it i have one role model.

 88. What is your opinion on social media? Dumb

 89. Are you a pessimist or an optimist? Pessimest

 90. List some things that you think are overpriced? Food

 91. What is your worst memory or creepiest experience? ..

 92. What superpower would ruin the world? Any of them

 93. What is something you swore you would never do when you grew up, but you did anyway? Exactly what im doing now. Nothing. Giving up. Dropping out

 94. What lessons have you learned from movies and which movies were they? Dont trust yourself when you know you arent okay. Fight club

 95. If you could travel anywhere, where would you go? Europe

 96. How do you approach people? I dont but i guess a smile.

 97. What is your opinion on first impressions? I think theyre okay. Only if you dont judge.

 98. What are some things you did as a child that you no longer do? Lol play with imaginary friends

 99. What languages can you speak? English

 100. What do you think society will be like in 30 years? Lol hopefully ill be dead bc that shit sounds terrible

 101. What do you do on your lazy days? Play games.

 102. What ended your last relationship? I had enough.

 103. Favorite food? Soul food

 104. What is the most terrifying dream you've ever had? Fuck im not saying.

 105. When was the last time you got seriously angry? Last night

 106. What was the last friendship you broke? My friend Ashley:(

 107. Do you have any pet peeves? Close minded people

 108. Who was the last person you gave a hug to? Zack

 109. When was the last time you got seriously stressed? Last night

 110. What part of your personality do you want to change? I dont have one.

 111. Who is the most positively influential person in your life right now? My sister Grace.

 112. What is your biggest motivation? My siblings. Faith & Grace.

 113. What did you want to be when you were little? Honestly i never knew.

 114. What are some things that you are good at? Smokin weed

 115. What is one thing you want to be good at? Social skills

 116. What distracts you the most, especially when you're trying to work? My mind

 117. How important is privacy to you? Eh pretty significant i guess.

 118. If you could create one social norm, what would it be? Be friends with everybody.

 119. What's the craziest lie you've ever told? Um.. i told my 2nd grade teacher my family died in a car crash.

 120. What story do you like to tell about yourself at parties? I dont go to parties haaha

 121. What is the lamest thing that you have seen someone do? have friends and socialize too much like woah calm down you know youre still alone.. right. Like its only you. Hahah jk. But irdk.

 122. What is the stupidest thing you've done to impress someone? a guy invited me over and ive never done anything sexual before so i pretended like i knew and i hurt his dick like bad. (We didnt have sex)

 123. What is your morning routine? Wake up, wash face, brush teeth, get dressed, and then boom feel sad

 124. What's the last thing you did that is worth remembering?

 125. If karma was coming back to you, would it help or hurt you? Help

 126. What is your opinion on playing "hard to get?" Being sort of isolated like not opening up. Which is okay bc if they want you they'll wait.

 127. What are the pros and cons of straightforward? Cons, you may hurt feelings. Pro, you know yourself and what you want to say congratulations

 128. What do you consider "leading" someone on? Being fake happy.

 129. Are you the friendzoner or the friendzoned? Friendzoner

 130. What do you admire most about your friends? How beautiful he is. Inside & out.

 131. What do you admire most about your family? They're still here.

 132. What is your opinion on "going with the flow?" You may forget where you are trying to go. Or who you are.

 133. Do you enjoy talking or listening? Listening.

 134. When is it time to end a friendship? Idk

 135. What is the worst excuse you've ever come up with? Lol too many.

 136. If GPA didn't matter, what courses would you have taken? Doesnt matter.

 137. What are your favorite baby names? Ive always liked Riley for a girl name and idk havent thought Bout a boys name.

 138. When was the last time you had a deep conversation with someone? Maybe a week or so ago. Or a few days ago.

 139. What instantly ruins a conversation? Lack of excitement

 140. Biggest turn ons and turn on offs. Affection. And idk

 143. When did you last do something outside of your comfort zone? God every day.

 147. What do you like about the 21st century? ???

 141. Biggest disappointment. Myself

 142. Do you have any self-restraint? A little.

 144. Prized possession(s)? little things

 145. What is your opinion on second chances? They might seem okay but idk.... depends i guess

 146. Text or call? Both, depends on whom im texting or callin

 148. What advice would you give to yourself 5 years ago? Life is hard and stupid but choices you make will stay with you forever so what are you gonna do, follow your heart or head? (head is better hope)

 149. How organized are you? Eh not really anymore.

 150. Favorite mode of transportation. My car

[thewoildis-yaerster]

Abusus Non Tollit Usum

Prologue

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three: The Delancey Brothers

Description: David meets Oscar and Morris, and we get to see a little bit more into Hot Shot and Tommy Boy.

Warnings:  Transphobia, swearing, bullying, violence, injury.

Note: There's a lot of the "t" slur. Like, I winced every time I typed it. The fight scene isn't very good, because I frankly can't write fight scenes. Also, I've never had bruised ribs and I've never worn a binder bc I can't get one yet, so most of this chapter is based solely on research.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

David made his way down the hallway, struggling to remember where the Latin classroom was. Jack couldn’t help him anymore, so he was on his own. Well, kind of. He made a right and saw two other students standing at the end of the hall talking to each other.

“Oh, thank God. I thought I’d have to walk into one of these classrooms and embarrass myself. Do either of you know where the Latin classroom is?” He asked them. They both turned around at the same time and smirked at each other.

“New kid?” The taller one responded.

“Yeah, I’m new.”

“Ain’t you the girl that was hanging out with Frances Sullivan all day yesterday?” The shorter one questioned.

David’s jaw clenched. “His name is Jack.”

“What, you believe that shit?” Shortie laughed.

“Hey, Oscar, I bet she’s just like Sullivan, based on the way she’s dressed. You one of them trannies?” Tall-Guy elbowed Shortie, or Oscar, in the arm and laughed.

“I just want to know where the Latin classroom is.”

“Hey, tranny. My brother asked you a question.” Oscar stalked closer to David, cracking his knuckles.

“As did I.” David’s voice came out quieter than he intended, but they still heard him.

“I asked you a question.” Tall-Guy completely ignored David and stepped closer to him as well, ending up only a few centimeters away.

“I’ll find it myself.” David huffed and walked away. However, before he could make it far, he was pulled back and pinned to a wall.

“You don’t get to walk away from us, you damn tranny!” Tall-Guy, who was holding him to the wall, drove his fist into his stomach and let him fall to the floor. He then punched David in the face so that he was sprawled across the floor. Oscar quickly moved to where he could stand on David’s wrists so he couldn’t try to fight back. David clenched his jaw against the pain as Tall-Guy delivered damaging kicks to his torso. The moment he finally let out a whimper, both of them were ripped off of him. He rolled over and groaned, then started coughing. All he heard was painful shouts, skin hitting skin, and a few cracks.

Suddenly, someone pulled him up off the ground and began running. David could hardly keep up due to the pain, but he managed it. He was pushed into the bathroom and into a stall, then was picked up, stood on the toilet seat, and pushed down to where he was crouching on it. The other person had a hand over his mouth and a finger pressed to their own, telling him to be quiet. It was Hot Shot. Their lip was busted and their left eye was starting to swell. They both stayed there like that, even after the bell rang, until the bathroom door was thrown open. David flinched every time a stall door was kicked in and nearly made a noise when whoever it was started beating on their door.

“Occupied.” Hot Shot spat, their voice less gruff than normal. After a few seconds, the sounds of Tall-Guy and Oscar grumbling were heard, followed by the bathroom door slamming shut. Hot Shot sent David a look that told him to stay there, then they slowly opened the stall door. No one was there. They creeped out and looked to see if anyone was in the hallway, but no one was there either. They walked back to the stall and gestured for David to follow them.

“I change my mind. Public school sucks.” David mumbled as he massaged his wrists. Hot Shot cracked a smile but said nothing. “Who were those guys?”

“The Delancey brothers. Oscar and Morris. They’re bad news. Stay away from them.” The gruff voice was back.

The Delancey brothers. David should’ve figured; they even looked similar. They’re the ones who outed Jack.

“Thanks for saving me back there, Hot Shot.”

“You’re welcome. Mrs. Davidson sent me to find you. She figured you got lost.”

“She was right.” David chuckled, then inhaled sharply due to a twinge of pain in his ribs. When he saw that they were approaching the door to the club room, he asked, “Hey, shouldn’t we be going to the nurse?”

“No. Their uncle is the nurse.”  

“Oh.”

Hot Shot opened the door for him and they both shuffled into the club room.

“Where the hell were- Davey? What happened?” Jack made his way over to the two of them, taking in the damage.

“I ran into the Delancey brothers. I mean, I didn’t literally run into them, but I stumbled across them and they, well, beat me up, to put it lightly.”

“Why’re you breathing so weird?” Jack questioned. Davey didn’t even notice it until then. He really should’ve paid attention to himself a little bit more. He started to realize that maybe some of the pain wasn’t from him getting his ass kicked. “C’mon.” Jack left the classroom with David in tow. Inside, Specs got the first aid kit out of the closet and got to work on Hot Shot. “Dave, you should take it off. You aren’t breathing right.”

“Jack-”

“Dave, please. I don’t want you to get any more hurt than what you already are.”

“I, uh, don’t have anything else to…put on.”

Jack bit his lip in thought, then popped his head back into the classroom. “Anyone have a hoodie we can borrow?” Albert instantly stood up and shucked his hoodie, then walked over and handed it to Jack. “Thanks, Al.” He closed the door back and gave the hoodie to David, then led him to the nearby bathroom. “Just call me in if you need help, alright?”

“Alright.”

Jack heard a lot of whimpering and groaning, but he didn’t want to go inside unless David wanted him to. After ten minutes or so, David exited the bathroom with Albert’s famous white hoodie on. “Did Hot Shot tell you why we can’t go to the nurse?” David nodded. “Okay, well, all of us know basic first aid. However, although they aren’t professionals, Specs and Tommy Boy know more than the rest of us. Specs usually takes over all of the medical issues in the group, but you might be more comfortable with Tommy Boy checking on you. If you aren’t comfortable with that, though, you could go see a doctor.”

David thought for a few seconds, then replied, “No. I’d rather have someone who understands than someone who doesn’t.” He shuddered as he thought about his doctor, who had a ridiculous policy of “I’ll call you David when it’s legally your name.”

“Alright. Stay here. I’ll go get him.”

When Jack walked away, David subconsciously crossed his arms over his chest to hide the obvious shape of his breasts.

***

“I don’t feel anything broken, so that’s good. They’re probably just bruised, but I’m not a professional. I’m not going to suggest going to a doctor, because I know how that experience can be, but if you feel like you should, then that’s your choice. What I do suggest is ibuprofen, a cycle of ice, rest, and heat, and keeping your chest elevated. I know this is the last thing you want to hear, but you can’t wear your binder until you heal. Even a doctor would tell you that.” Tommy Boy sadly smiled up at Davey from where he was kneeling on the bathroom floor.

“Yeah, I know. Thanks, Tommy Boy. Would you happen to know how long it’ll take?” David grabbed Albert’s hoodie off of the counter and began to put it back on, struggling a little bit.

“No problem, Davey. Three to six weeks, usually.” Tommy Boy stood and helped David slip the hoodie on, which made him wish he had asked for help the first time.

“Alright.” David sighed and put his hands in the pockets of the hoodie.

“Hey, you know we’ve got your back, right? Like Katherine said, we all care about you a lot.”

“Thank you. I care about you guys as well.”

[cleverbroadwayurl]

The Lady of Shalott (Connor Murphy x SlightlyFem!Reader)

Word Count: 2692

A/N: Me??? Writing Connor Murphy like Chloe Price from Before the Storm??? Yes. Also! I implied a little bit of fem!reader, and I did ask if anyone was against that, and no one said no, so uhhh here it is! I tried to make it not so tough to read but it’s hard to do that when you’re talking about the Victorians who were kinda snooty. Also! This is a real poem! I have a love of it, and the paintings are absolutely stunning! Just do a quick Google search to find them! And uhh if you want to be tagged in all of my work, you need to let me know bc I don’t know about that right now. 

Trigger Warnings: Mentions of marital assault, mentions of assault, mentions of Victorian era laws (which are horribly sexist), some dickwad, bad ending, language IF I MISSED ANY PLEASE LET ME KNOW

Connor rubbed his eye with his hand before checking the analog clock once again. 7:28. Fuck first period. With a glance at the board, he was met with the empty white surface. A hint of dread rose within him. Ever since his British Literature teacher said that everyone from the Romantic Era had died by the time the Victorian Era came around, except of course, for Connor’s least favorite poet, he’d been preparing for the worst ever since.

He hadn’t done his homework from the night before. It wasn’t like he wouldn’t normally do it—he typically liked English. His dad on the other hand, he did not like. Connor scoffed at last night’s fading memory, the image of Zoe’s cookie dough ice cream wrapped into his arm, a spoon in the other, while Larry went batshit about “stealing your perfect sister’s ice cream” for the fifth time that month. It wasn’t like he was taking it. He just wanted something sweet at 2 AM instead of sleeping. It wasn’t like he could sleep anyways. He was out of weed anyways. Fuck sleep. Fuck Larry. Fuck Perfect Zoe’s ice cream.

“Alright let’s get started,” Mr. Rand called out, picking up his anthology and flipped through the pages. “The Lady of Shalott. What do we think?”

Wait a minute. Connor had read that poem. Well, not read. No, Connor had enjoyed that poem, which was a first, especially ever since the bastard Wordsworth came into his life. He was silently thanking whoever he could—fate maybe—that it wasn’t that pretentious dick who loved nature so much he thought that “God himself has created Heaven on Earth” or some dumb shit. No, this was a fairytale poem about a badass lady who looked out her window, saw an attractive man, and then was banished to death by a curse that was placed on her years ago. It was like a really dark fairytale. And Connor had a soft spot for the original Brother’s Grimm stories.

And, on the bright side, he wouldn’t have to lock himself in the bathroom for getting so fed up with Wordsworth’s outlook on life (well, that and his classmate’s discussion) and how everything would be perfect if we all just loved nature. Yeah, Connor tried that. It didn’t work even a little bit. If anything, it made things worse for him. Being alone with his thoughts was not a good phenomenon, to say the absolute very least. So a break from the nature-loving freak himself was like walking under a waterfall into a right of passage.

“I think it’s like a fairytale!”

It was going to be one of those discussions. Alright. Fine. Connor took a deep breath and hoped that the conversation would get a little bit more exciting before he would leave and chill in the silence of the bathroom while everything around him remained still. It was the one thing he could control; that he could keep calm. He decided he’d give it another 20 minutes before leaving.

He chose to zone out a little bit, his pencil doodling a little boat, scarves and rags coming out of it. He’d draw the actual Lady of Shalott later. It was now that Connor wished he’d gotten a coffee from literally anywhere to help him stay awake and fight off his usual headache of not sleeping. When he’d been open about his head hurting before, kids started to laugh at him; mock him for being “too hungover to even talk about poetry”. The truth was that he was never actually hung over—extremely hungry, yeah, but that was kind of a given. And that was another thing that the coffee he so desperately craved helped with. He knew it was too late to get it right now, though. His drawing was just only getting started, guidelines still very prominent.

His black nail polish hit the paper, and he stopped for a second, assessing the damage that had been done. He liked it. Yeah, it was a new wave of hurt, it could symbolize the violent calmness of the Lady’s death. Connor made a few more marks, giving the image a real feeling of rage and empathy. He liked it. It was more than pretty. It was telling of what he assumed deaths of this caliber were like.

“Let’s talk about some Victorian history, okay?” The teacher queued up his PowerPoint before walking back to the front of the class, adjusting his blazer just slightly. Why was this teacher so pretentious? He was always way too chipper for this time of day; it was like he’d just swallowed a spoonful of straight caffeine. Connor rolled his eyes before pulling out a pen for the accents of his drawing.

“Now, in the Victorian era, women were typically referred to Angels of the Household. They did practically everything in their power to make the home perfect and ‘just so’ for her husband.

“Another term came along with the Angel of the Household, however. That term was Fallen Angel; or a woman who did not do the chores she was expected to and would also often commit adultery. Now, adultery was a pretty common thing among men, especially since divorce was so unheard of and frankly only for the exceedingly rich. And if the woman committed adultery, the husband and the rest of society would shun her, causing her death or causing her to be exiled. The deaths were a lot more frequent and usually were water based. Women would jump off bridges or purposely drown themselves in some way or another. Given this new information, what can we say about the Lady of Shalott?”

“She got what was coming to her.”

Connor rolled his eyes. He had to restrain throwing his pen at that one kid. He didn’t know names, but knew that that kid was more annoying and ruder than Jared Kleinman. Connor watched as the kid smiled smugly as the teacher tried to continue the conversation with the class, leaving that comment out. While the comment was a joke to the kid, Connor knew that there was truth behind it. He refocused on his drawing.

“I think we should also talk about some laws women had to follow.”

For some reason, Connor thought of his sister. Maybe it was the events from the night before or something. It dawned upon him after a minute or so: Zoe would totally raise her hand like the dumb overachiever she is and state something completely true and wonderful about women today before giving harsh criticism to anyone else who still believed in it. He had to chuckle a little bit. While he was still definitely upset at his sister and often fought with her, sometimes fighting to purposely get a rise out of her, he kind of missed the bond they’d had before. It was weird. Connor dismissed the feeling.

“Women weren’t allowed to file any kind of lawsuit without her husband’s or father’s consent. That includes divorce. And, if they somehow got the money and consent, women couldn’t divorce based on adultery alone like men could.”

Connor turned back to his work once more before he could hear the discussion around that. He didn’t want to hear the discussion around that. If he did, he’d have to leave for the bathroom, and he still had 5 minutes to stick it out before making his final decision to skip or not. So, instead of listening to the cringeworthy conversation, he chose to add medallions to his boat and begin the figure of the Lady of Shalott.

“Good question, Ellie! Women were legally obligated to submit to their husbands. As in, martial assault was completely legal and encouraged. It wouldn’t be many years until that law was changed.”

“Wait! So like assault was legal?”

“No! Not at all, actually! Let me give an example of this.” Connor hoped he wouldn’t be picked. If Mr. Rand used him in an example where he was the bad person, the class would break out into laughter and his entire day would be ruined. He’d have to leave, he’d have to find a new way to cope with this bullshit because his fucking dealer wasn’t getting back to him. Everyone called him a freak now, he couldn’t imagine what it would be like if the teacher called him something like a predator to an entire sex.

“Let’s say Jenna and Erik were married, and Erik assaults Jenna. That’s legal in this time period. But now let’s say Connor and (Y/N) were married—(Y/N) being the feminine figure in this situation” FUCK “They live a very happy marriage, love each other very much, and neither have done anything wrong. But let’s say one day someone forces (Y/N) into a situation they don’t want to be in. That would be illegal because (Y/N) and their assaulter aren’t married. Does that make sense?”

Connor suddenly met your gaze, each of you embarrassed as the other. You quietly eyed your pencil quickly after, a blush ever prominent on your features. You looked up after a solid thirty seconds, refocusing on taking notes on the class’s discussion. Someone else spoke up about you as your eyes met your notebook again, not shifting up this time.

“So if (Y/N) wanted to file a lawsuit, they’d need Connor’s consent?”

This was just getting worse and worse by the minute. Connor counted. He’d been here past the 20 minute mark a while ago. He had 10 minutes left before he could escape. Connor wasn’t going to the bathroom, though. No, he was going home. This was too much for him and his lack of sleep.

“Yes, that’s correct! And I’m sure Connor would gladly give it, as two people in this time period generally love and care for their spouse, even if this time period’s art don’t depict that.”

Connor didn’t need to see your face to know you were beet red. He kept staring at you until he made eye contact again. He shot you a look of sadness. Connor knew what was coming. The kids around you would start calling you a freak, would start making fun of you for this teacher’s dumb move. He had never talked to you, but knew from various things he’d heard around the school that you just kind of kept to yourself and were generally a nice person. You didn’t deserve to be harassed for something that was out of your control. You didn’t—fuck was Connor turning into Zoe?

“Would Connor even do it? Because how does he know that (Y/N) isn’t lying about their acts of adultery?”

Now Connor couldn’t hold it in as he watched  your face meet the light and contort into utter horror. You scooted your chair away from this kid, eyes fixated on your desk as you did so. Even from his seat across the room, he could sense your discomfort and your attempts at distracting yourself from the thoughts that oh-so-obviously clouded your mind. He could see how you held your breath. The tighter that your inhale became, the tighter that Connor’s fist and jaw clenched.

“Because unlike you, I actually believe in the people who come forward about a very personal and traumatizing experience, asswipe.”

“Language, Mr. Murphy.”

Connor’s face turned red and slumped into his seat. Although, he had been victorious. You were staring now, pencil not moving as he could see your heavy breaths take over. He relaxed a little bit at that, but not enough to stop crumpling the drawing he’d created at the beginning of class. His eyes shifted from you to that one kid, fight blazing in his heart.

“Connor is right, though,” Mr. Rand continued, “He would believe them because why would you lie about that kind of thing, especially when that’s your spouse? You wouldn’t. Studies have shown that even in today’s society, you can’t even pay people a million dollars to lie about being assaulted. So, why lie? No one does, Mr. Bernstein. You’re just trying to justify your own actions.”

But the kid—Bernstein apparently—smirked at Connor, happy he’d gotten a rise out of him. Bernstein didn’t even listen to the speech that Mr. Rand gave so eloquently and wonderfully, but to be fair, Connor didn’t either. No, instead each of them were staring at each other, one in victory and the other in pure plotting. He knew that he couldn’t get revenge on this dick now, but soon. Yeah, Connor would beat the shit out of him soon.

“Hey, Connor, right?”

Connor didn’t even notice that you’d stepped up to his desk, he had been so involved in making that one kid fucking pay for his actions. His eyes were now meeting your nervous ones, and Connor tried his hardest to seem less intimidating. It probably didn’t help that he’d chosen to wear all black and was staring at Bernstein like he was going to kill him. And a part of him knew that he couldn’t help being intimidating—rumors spread around this school almost better than cholera had in the Victorian age. To you, and everyone else, he was scary and unstable, ready to strike at any moment. He wished it wasn’t like that, especially with someone who was as needlessly as nice as you. And now, he had proof that the rumors were true.

You were making an effort to at least be nice to the poor kid who sometimes can’t keep his feelings in check. Yeah, he has outbursts, he just wished they weren’t as often as they were. And you knew that—or at least, he assumed you knew that. And yet, you were still talking to him, like he were a real person and like everybody else in the entire school didn’t treat him like some zoo animal that they didn’t even pay to see.

“I just wanted to say thank you for like…defending me back there. That kid deserved it.” You smiled nervously, shifting your feet as you stood in front of his desk.

“Yeah. No problem.” He stated, trying to be as not scary as he could be, “Human beings need to be treated with respect, you know? Plus, that one kid calls me a—”

“Hey freak!”

Connor’s hands balled up and his breathing became staggered. He quickly packed up his stuff before walking off, giving you a small nod as he continued on with his day. It was almost like for a moment he’d forgotten he was in this shit school with people who commit fuckery at all hours of the day. He stepped into the bathroom; choosing to at least try to go to second period. But he’d have to be late. Yeah, he needed to calm down from that encounter and he just…he couldn’t take anyone with that shitty sense of humor at the moment.

^^^

Connor rubbed his eye with his hand as he walked into the classroom. 7:28. Fuck first period. With a glance at the board, he was met with the empty white surface. A hint of dread rose within him. Ever since his British Literature teacher said that everyone from the Romantic Era had died by the time the Victorian Era came around, except of course, for Connor’s least favorite poet, he’d been preparing for the worst ever since.

He hadn’t done his homework from the night before. It wasn’t like he wouldn’t normally do it—he typically liked English. But he’d lost the motivation to the night before for some reason. Maybe it was because he could hear Zoe playing guitar and humming along through the wall until about midnight. And by then, he decided he wasn’t going to do it.

Connor looked up and started for his usual spot, but it was oddly surprised to find you in the seat next to his, pulling out your notebook and offering a soft smile to him. He offered one back before sitting in his spot, careful not to accidently bump you or something. He settled, class started, and for some reason, Connor felt like first period British Literature might just be okay.

[daddymenrah]

Ice Cream and a Joint: Elliot x Reader

A/N: Hey guys I’m v sorry for my absence as of late. I’ve been going through a kind of shitty breakup and generally just a rough patch in my overall mental health. I’ve been trying so hard to write but I just can’t. But finally, tonight I managed to get something finished! I have a feeling you guys are gonna enjoy it.

 This is a response to multiple requests, which I can’t name bc it’ll ruin the fic lol.

Warnings: Explicit. Sexual. Content. Bitches.

 It’s eight o’clock on a quiet Wednesday, the just-visible sun still providing some warmth to your skin. You’re on the pier waiting, unsure what the evening would bring. Wednesday was a good day for you. It was halfway through the work week, your stress levels were relatively low, and your plans were almost certain to put you in a good mood.

 A warm breeze ruffles your hair and the thigh-length dress you’re wearing. You cross and uncross your legs somewhat uncomfortably. You’d made a risky choice in underwear, or lack thereof, and virtually everything was a reminder. But the reason you made such a decision was walking towards you with his hands shoved awkwardly in his pockets.

 The slowly setting sun bathed the pier in a golden light that tinged Elliot’s washed out complexion a gorgeous olive tone that it probably would be if he spent more time outside. He’d donned his usual black hoodie and jeans, but to your surprise, it was unzipped. Underneath, he wore a grey t-shirt that as he got closer, you noted it had a few miniscule holes towards the bottom.

 His steps slowed as he reached your spot on the pier, and rifled in his pocket for his pack of cigarettes. He shook one out for himself and angled the pack towards you in a silent offer. You took one and smiled your thanks. He handed you a lighter, but no matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t get the flame to  stay for long enough thanks to the breeze.

 Elliot took the lighter back from you with a cautious, jerky hand movement. He put his own cigarette between his chapped lips and successfully lit it within seconds. He then hands it to you, smiling sheepishly.

“Thanks.” You grin, passing him the one you were unable to light.

“Yeah it’s a shitty lighter.”

 Smoke billowing between the two of you, you began to stroll up the wooden boardwalk. It had been a few days since you’d seen Elliot, or spoken to him for that matter. Eventually you’d swallowed your nerves and called him to check he was okay. He didn’t answer the first time and your confidence was almost knocked, but you’d tried again and on the fourth ring, he’d answered.

 His slow, sensual, drawl had flown from the receiver like a river over gravel.

“Y/N?” He’d croaked.

“Elliot?” Silence followed. “Are you okay?”

“As I’ll ever be.” Was his sarcastic reply. It was often difficult to discern his sarcasm due to his monotonous voice and typically expressionless neutral face. You chuckled and then made the jump.

 “Wanna go for a walk tomorrow evening?”

“Sure.” “At eight?”

“Ok. See you.”

 It was such a short exchange but it left your heart racing with excitement.

 And here you were, smoking a cigarette while enjoying the view with Elliot.

“Shall we walk?” You suggest and he nods.

“That is what you invited me to do, after all.” His joke warms your insides, it had taken so long for him to break the boundary of just necessary conversation.

 “So how’ve you been? Hadn’t seen you in a while so I thought I’d…” You gesture between the two of you. “Yeah.” Elliot exhales his drag before responding.

“I’ve been better… Work, stuff, you know.” He explains vaguely. You know this is as close to an admission that he’d been having a hard time, but it was all you needed to understand.

 “I get it. But hey, you know I have no life. We can always just go for a walk when shit gets rough.” You tell him, smiling genuinely. Elliot switches his gaze from the floor to you, and his lips quirk at the edges.

“Yeah. Thanks.” His shoulder brushes against you and he doesn’t flinch. You wonder if maybe it had been intentional?

 “So… What have you been doing?” Elliot asks, surprising you a little with his outward interest.

“Well, uh, same old really. Wake up, eat, work, eat, sleep, repeat.” Elliot smiles knowingly.

“Maybe we both needed this.” He murmurs, his voice almost lost in the breeze.

 “Needed what?” You press, not particularly sure what he’s referring to.

“A break from routine.” He gestures between the two of you.

“Yeah, this is nice.” You grin, allowing him to see just how glad you are that he’d agreed to meet. “Is there anything you actually wanna do or are we cool just walking?”

 Elliot shrugs.

“We could get ice cream.” He suggests, an impish smile on his tired features.

“Really Elliot? Ice cream?” You laugh. He continues to smile, eyes trained on the floor as he shakes his head. “Sounds good to me.” “Cool.” He replies, then rummages for something in his pocket.

 He procures the pack of cigarettes and pulls something out. From afar, you wouldn’t know it wasn’t just a cig, but from your vantage point, you could see it was hand rolled.

“Ice cream and a joint. You know me a little too well.” Elliot smiles again, breaking some kind of record.

 “Logically, it’s a great combination.”

 The two of you make your way down to the end of the pier where there was a small ice cream shop. It’s set up in the style of a kiosk with a few small tables littered around the front of it. Already seated are two other couples and a group of presumably teenagers. You approach the kiosk and peruse the flavours, which are changed weekly bar classic chocolate and vanilla.

 Elliot lingers behind you, not particularly favouring the harsh light of the freezers. You settle on two scoops of a flavour you’d tried at this same spot a while ago then wait for Elliot to place his order. He goes for double chocolate, then pays for the two of you before you can protest.

 “And now for the perfect spot.” You announce, and lead him a little further down where there are some benches. You’re surprised to find that there’s no one else seated on the few benches that line each side of the pier, so you and Elliot select one and take a seat. Elliot hands you his ice cream while he grabs the joint and the lighter.

 Just as he goes to take it back you lick it slowly, relishing in the shock that crosses his features. But you don’t get to enjoy it for long, as he shocks you back by leaning over and taking a lick of yours too.

“Well I wasn’t expecting that.” You burst out laughing.

“Legally speaking, I own that ice cream.” He counters, eyebrow cocked in jest.

 Your mouth drops at his comeback and he simply smirks, placing the joint between his lips. You’re relieved to see him joking around, after his silence you weren’t sure what this evening was going to be like. It seemed as though he might have needed some time with another human being that wasn’t going to judge him or press him for information.

 As it turns out, weed and ice cream is a great pairing. After a particularly deep drag, you could soothe the burn in the back of your throat with some cold sweetness. You glance over at Elliot, he’s staring out into the sunset which is almost over, and while entranced in his appearance, a gust of wind flies up the skirt of your dress.

 You let out a yelp and Elliot looks over at you before you can push the fabric down again. His eyes go wide and his head snaps in the other direction.

“Sorry.” He mutters. Your cheeks are burning in embarrassment, you have no idea why you thought this was a good idea.

“No, no, Elliot, it’s fine. It’s my fault, I don’t know why I did it-“

 “You did it on purpose?” He interrupts.

“What? I don’t control the wind El-“

“That’s not what I meant.” You sit staring back at him, gaping slightly.

“Yes.” You finally manage to respond. Elliot shifts, licking his lips unconsciously. You noticed he did that a lot, especially when he was thinking about something particularly perplexing.

 “I don’t mind.” He says, breaking the uncomfortable silence that had settled between the two of you. Your jaw drops but you shut it almost immediately. You’d had your fair share of moments with Elliot where he was more physically comfortable than usual, or with anyone else for that matter, but you weren’t really sure what it meant.

 Maybe this was it.

“Do you have to go to work early tomorrow?” He asks, he seems to be trying hard to keep himself composed but the breathlessness in his voice gives him away.

“No, not really.” You answer quicker than what could be considered anything but eager. He senses this.

 “You can come over if you want.” He offers.

“Is that what you want?”

“I’m asking you.” His assertiveness is uncharacteristic, but it flips a switch within you.

“Yes.”

 The two of you practically run hand in hand off the pier and hail a cab. Once seated inside, Elliot interlinks his fingers with yours. He stares straight ahead, his expression serious, like a child not wanting to be caught doing something bad. It’s fucking adorable. The time it takes to reach his apartment is laughable, you could have walked, but the tension between you was about to snap.

 Upon entering his building, you wait for him to take the lead up the stairs, but something dark glints in Elliot’s eyes. “You first. Fourth floor.” He instructs. You hesitate, knowing damned well that from his angle he’d be able to see everything, but wasn’t this exactly why you chose this outfit? You wanted to be seductive, you didn’t think you’d achieve it, but Elliot was handing you the opportunity on a silver platter.

 So you smile innocently back at him, then begin the ascent. There’s a sharp intake of breath from behind you, and the heat between your legs increases. You’re now certain that he can see, and you’re hyper aware of his gaze on your inner thighs and what lays between them.

 But you continue upwards, slowly becoming confident in yourself, knowing just how turned on Elliot is merely by view up your skirt. Quicker than you’d like, you reach the fourth floor and Elliot unlocks his apartment. He ignores his dog as he leads you to his bedroom, closing the door much to the animal’s confusion.

 Awkwardness returns as you’re faced with the reality of the situation. After much tiptoeing around each other you’re now face to face in his bedroom with both your intentions blindingly clear. There are only two options; run, or continue. You choose the latter, dropping the straps of your dress. It falls to the floor far too quickly and Elliot’s eyes practically pop out of their sockets.

 “You were like that the entire time we were together…” He whispers, then sits on the edge of his bed. You smile sheepishly and nod. He shrugs his hoodie off and places it on the other side of the bed. He reaches out, fingers visibly shaking. He pauses before he actually touches your skin, still unsure how you could want this with him.

 You take the plunge, throwing a leg either side of his thighs and sitting on his lap. Like a dehydrated man confronted with an oasis, Elliot grips your waist with bruising strength. He begins kissing your neck and chest hungrily, you’re shocked by his force, but you certainly don’t resent it. You lean into his touch, your breasts brushing his cheeks. Elliot licks a long stripe from your sternum up to your collarbone.

 “Fuck.” He mutters, unable to get enough of you.

“Are you gonna leave me the only one naked?” You ask him bashfully. He shakes his head and pulls his t-shirt off hurriedly. You stand up, walking over to where he’d put his hoodie. Elliot freezes, watching you pick it up with unwavering intensity.

 You gently fold it over the back of the door of his closet, and smile reassuringly.

“We’re gonna need this whole bed.” You tell him, and he lets out a sigh of what appears to be relief. You lay back onto his pillows and watch him undo his converse and step out of his jeans. You can’t take your eyes off the way the muscles in his shoulders flex.

 He finally in only his boxers, he crawls up and over you, and resumes sucking and biting on the skin of your neck and décolletage. You begin to let out low moans, running your hands up and down Elliot’s back. He comes up, his lips brushing your ear.

“Can I eat you out?”

 Your breath catches in your throat at his request, mouth slightly open.

“Y/N? Did I say something wrong?” You laugh breathily.

“Not at all, just unusual for a guy to do that… Let alone ask to do it.” You admit. Elliot frowns down at you.

“They should always ask…” He pauses, evidently wondering whether or not to say what else was on his mind.

 “Besides, who wouldn’t want to taste you?” He doesn’t wait to see your reaction to his words, he simply backs up on his haunches and gently parts your legs a little further.

“Jesus Christ Elliot, this is a big jump from tasting my ice cream.” You joke as he plants rough kisses on your inner thighs. The breath from Elliot’s silent laugh sends goose bumps all over your legs. He slowly begins to lick your swollen clit, gripping your thighs tightly when your hips buck up. He switches from dipping his tongue inside you to flicking your clit rapidly with the tip of it. The man isn’t just good with computers.

 “Tastes better than the ice cream.” He mutters, then slides two fingers inside you before you can respond.

“Fuuuuuuuuck Elliot.” You whine as he thrusts his fingers in and out, curved in a way that hit your spot every time. You look down at him and realise his grey green eyes are staring right into yours. From your vantage point, you can’t see much, but you can see glimpses of his tongue playing with your clit as he fingers you.

 He takes his time, you’re sure his jaw must ache, but he doesn’t seem to care as he watches you writhe against his sheets. One hand grips the pillow your head rests on while the other is tangled in his short hair. He flattens his tongue against your clit, moving it side to side rapidly, and ups the assault against your g spot.

 Your own orgasm takes you by surprise, convulsing against the mattress as Elliot helps you through your high, your eyes rolling back into your skull. When you’re finally able to think coherently, you realise you feel damper than usual. You sit up, Elliot is grinning. His face is practically shining with glee, and something else that’s dripping from his chin.

 “I didn’t know you were a squirter.”

[mundanemelusina]

Get to Know Me 1. What is you middle name? Matthew 2. How old are you? 21 3. When is your birthday? Oct 12 4. What is your zodiac sign? Libra sun, Gemini moon, Taurus rising, Scorpio Venus and idk the rest 5. What is your favorite color? Yellow! It's always varied but I love a soft warm yellow. Like the color the sun paints the world at sunset. Like crayolas dandelion crayon. WHICH BY THE WAY CRAYOLA IS FUCKIN RETIRING. THEY ARE GETTING RID OF MY FAVORITE COLOR. 6. What’s your lucky number? 3 7. Do you have any pets? My moms house has a lot but I don't live there any more? Are they really my pets? Idk man. 8. Where are you from? Greensboro nc 9. How tall are you? 5'10" 10. What shoe size are you? 10 in both men's and women's. Idk how it works I don't make the rules I just work here. 11. How many pairs of shoes do you own? In the 20s probably. Maybe more. How many pairs do I wear on the everyday tho? Like two maybe. I'm terrible. 12. What was your last dream about? Honestly last one I remember I woke up with the distinct memory of eating out a trans guy. 13. What talents do you have? Knowing exactly where peoples belly buttons are, whistling like various birds, quoting movies, remembering useless info, coming up with ideas of things I'll never do, sleeping too much, not having motivation, puns and/or bad humor, being able to identify almost any color by its crayola name. 14. Are you psychic in any way? You're asking a witch. That's a loaded fucking question. 15. Favorite song? Nah. I got loads of playlists tho. 16. Favorite movie? BOI. Ok. Listen. Stardust The high school musicals Harry potters, also third specifically Moulin rouge Hocus pocus Thirteenth year Legally blonde Easy a Anna karennina Lion king Hercules Little mermaid Hunchback of notre dam Spy kids trilogy First three shreks but specially no2 How to train your dragon(1/2) Rise of the guardians Series of unfortunate events movie Sucker punch Weekend (2011) The new beauty and the beast movie Lord of the rings Indiana jones 17. Who would be your ideal partner? This is a strange question. Not what would they be like. But WHO ARE THEY. NAME NAMES. GO. honestly idk. If I knew who it was I'd be trying to sit on their lap right now. 18. Do you want children? Error 404 answer unknown. I could be good with kids. I love kids. But do I want to raise them? Idk. And I don't want to raise any unless I know for sure that I do. 19. Do you want a church wedding? What does this mean? I would never marry a church. 20. Are you religious? All religions are simultaneously true and false. Schroedingers religion 21. Have you ever been to the hospital? Yes. Terrible asthma. Last big attack was on my thirteenth birthday. I had my first indoor swim meet at my high school and it was a small steamy space with hundreds of people so the air got supper thick and I had the worst attack ever. 22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? Nope not do I plan to 23. Have you ever met any celebrities? I've met Julie Taymor! Famous director who directed the lion king on broadway and across the universe! 24. Baths or showers? Showers for physical cleaning, baths for spiritual 25. What color socks are you wearing? I don't wear socks I fucking hate them the stifle my creativity bc I can't think with them on. 26. Have you ever been famous? One of my selfie photo sets has 19,000+ notes does that count? 27. Would you like to be a big celebrity? Eh. I could handle it but that doesn't mean I want to 28. What type of music do you like? Musical, pop, indie/folk/americana, idk just whatever 29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? No. I get self conscious 30. How many pillows do you sleep with? 2 normal full pillows, a star shaped pillow, a moon shape, and a sun. 31. What position do you usually sleep in? Side curl? 32. How big is your house? 2 bed one bath apartment that has a living room and a kitchen. That's it. The whole place. Very small. 33. What do you typically have for breakfast? Harris teeter brand clusters and oats cereal with honey or bagel with cream cheese 34. Have you ever fired a gun? Yeah my dad taught me on his family's farm and my grandfather on my mothers side taught me some too. He loves hunting. 35. Have you ever tried archery? Ye with said grandfather. I didn't like it at the time but I love the idea of it now and want to again. I was pretty ok at it. Besides my terrible eyesight. 36. Favorite clean word? What the fuck is a clean word. 37. Favorite swear word? Fuck it's so vers 38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep? I pull all nighters all the time but never really more than 36 hours without a nap. 39. Do you have any scars? I'm sure I might somewhere but I can't really think of any 40. Have you ever had a secret admirer? I wish. Usually I am the one admiring secretly. 41. Are you a good liar? I'm a thespian. It's my literal job. 42. Are you a good judge of character? Loaded question? How the fuck would I know this? Who are you? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH JIMMY 43. Can you do any other accents other than your own? AGAIN. my literal job. 44. Do you have a strong accent? No. I actually have always been told o don't have one. Moms from New Jersey but grew up in the south. She doesn't have a thick one. 45. What is your favorite accent? ????? So many. Any U.K. Miami Cuban? It's specific but. Idk it's less about accents but I just love studying the way people talk. How they form vowels or little sayings they have. 46. What is your personality type? Enfp? 47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing? I have no idea. I don't like to buy pricey clothing. I'm a goodwill hoe 48. Can you curl your tongue? Long ways sideways twist and clover! 49. Are you an innie or an outie? Innie 50. Left or right handed? FUN STORY I was originally lefty but then my first grade teacher thought I was gonna be a gay witch so she made me switch. But lefty staid for everything besides writing. So batting golf all that. Writing texting jacking bowling is righty. So. Mostly right. 51. Are you scared of spiders? 4/10 52. Favorite food? *softly* don't 53. Favorite foreign food? I love food 54. Are you a clean or messy person? Messy af 55. Most used phrased? Changes weekly 56. Most used word? Changes daily 57. How long does it take for you to get ready? An hour with a shower? 30 without? 58. Do you have much of an ego? Huge 59. Do you suck or bite lollipops? Suuuuck 60. Do you talk to yourself? Constantly 61. Do you sing to yourself? ALL DAY EVERY DAY. 62. Are you a good singer? I AM passable but I'm not gonna win a Tony 63. Biggest Fear? Myself 64. Are you a gossip? Did you hear about Samantha and Jim? 65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen? Check above 66. Do you like long or short hair? On myself? Idfk. On men? Short 67. Can you name all 50 states of America? Nope! Nor do I care. Fuck this place! (I can get most) 68. Favorite school subject? Transfiguration. Wait real school? Ok art, theatre, literature, science, marine biology was fun 69. Extrovert or Introvert? I need a balance of the two. Intro if I had to pick 70. Have you ever been scuba diving? Nah. Been snorkeling tho 71. What makes you nervous? Intrusive thoughts. Heights. Knives. Snakes and spiders. Fire. Mostly nervous I'll do something stupid and throw myself or my phone over the edge or into the flames. 72. Are you scared of the dark? Well I wasn't till you FUCKING MENTIONED IT. ASAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH 73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? Most of the time 74. Are you ticklish? Yes but tickle and I'll rip off your pickle 75. Have you ever started a rumor? Started? No. continued? Religiously. 76. Have you ever been in a position of authority? Often. I enjoy it. 77. Have you ever drank underage? Whaaaaaat????? Me????? No never. 78. Have you ever done drugs? Gasp 79. Who was your first real crush? Literally. Ok. Listen. Buddy. So many. Idk who was first. All were dumb. 80. How many piercings do you have? Just ears 81. Can you roll your Rs?“ Ye 82. How fast can you type? Snail^2 83. How fast can you run? Turtle^2 84. What color is your hair? Naturally dark brown. 85. What color is your eyes? Dark green and orange. 86. What are you allergic to? Medicines some type of cat/dog/fur 87. Do you keep a journal? A book of shadows but not a journal 88. What do your parents do? Dads a muggle. Mams a witch. Bitofanastyshockwhenhefoundout Honestly I'm tired and don't wanna explain 89. Do you like your age? Age as in era of history??? Years in which I have personally traveled around the sun? 90. What makes you angry? Unfairness. My jealousy. Disrespect 91. Do you like your own name? Yeah I love it 92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they? Nah 93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child? Wtf is this gendered bs 94. What are you strengths? It's too late to have this crisis 95. What are your weaknesses? Seriously I'm tired 96. How did you get your name? I always forget 97. Were your ancestors royalty? Dads side had something 98. Do you have any scars? I already did this 99. Color of your bedspread? Gray 100. Color of your room? Between crayola jade and olive

[thysurveys]

726.

Before February 3, 2013 / After August 21, 2017

When did you meet the last female you texted? 20072008 in Science class if I remember correctly. / She gave birth to me, so.

Are you currently looking forward to anything? 50 days. / I am trying to.

Would you be surprised if your most recent ex called you tonight? Very. / Yeah.

Have you ever kissed anyone within an hour of meeting them? Mhmm. / Yeah.

Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to? I do. / Yes.

Do you care too much/not at all/just enough? I don’t really know. Personally, I’d say “too much”, or sometimes just not enough. / Too much.

This time last year, can you remember who you liked? I still liked my ex, awks. / Kevin.

Who was the last person you went out to eat with? That would have to be Indy, Carolyn, Lauren, Stevan and Petra. / Kevin, I would say.

Your phone is ringing. It’s an ex. What do you say? “…Hi?” I wouldn’t know what to say. / I don’t know what I would say right now. Not a lot.

Where is the person who has your heart at the moment? Cliché, wow. He’s at a friend’s. / He’s sleeping beside me.

Were you single on your last birthday? I sure was. / No.

Are you anyone’s first love? Apparently my exes. / I believe I am.

What are the first and last names of the people in your inbox? TMI. / I can’t be bothered.

Did anything brighten up your day today? I don’t really know actually. I’ve been in a content mood most of today so far. :) / Nothing in particular yet.

What is one thing that is currently bothering you? I am beginning to get bored. / Every single thing.

Do you want to cut your hair? I don’t want to, but I know I have to. It’s getting too long. :( / I was going to, but I couldn’t be bothered. But yes. I do.

Do you have any scars? Yeah. / Still yes.

Will you be in a relationship next month? I sure hope so. / Very likely.

Do you remember who you liked three months ago? My current boyfriend. / Still my current boyfriend.

Has someone upset you in the past 48 hours? Yeah. / Not “someone”.

Who is the last person to irritate you? Hahah, oh you know, people. / Myself, probably.

What is the last thing you did before bed last night? Text. / I either spoke to Kevin or watched Netflix.

Is there someone who likes you? I would like to say so considering he’s my boyfriend. / Yeah.

What makes you happy? I don’t really know. There’s a few things. / Just being there for Kevin at the moment. And my boy Archie.

Is your Facebook profile private? Mhmm. / Yes. As private as it can be.

Do you trust people easily? Not even. / No.

Have you ever had a really big fight with a best friend? Yeah. / Yes.

Have you ever gotten in a car with people you just met? Yeah. / Yes.

How many true friends do you have? Not many. In fact, next to 0. / I know Kevin is my true friend, and Indy, of course. I don’t speak to a lot of people these days.

Is it cute when guys kiss you on your forehead? Sure. / Yes.

First thing you do when you wake up in the morning? Either turn off my alarm, or check my phone. / Most days I turn off my alarm.

Who was the last person that left you a comment? Stevan? / I don’t know.

What’s something you really want right now? I don’t really know. I wouldn’t mind going out. / There’s a lot.

Where do you go when you need to just get away? I sometimes go on a walk, otherwise my room. But that makes me even more depressed. / I don’t really have anywhere to go right now. I usually go to my parents if I need space, but that doesn’t always work. It can make it worse.

Who was the last person to make fun of you? Pft, who knows. / I don’t know, nor do I care.

Have you ever worn the opposite sex’s clothing? Yeah. / Always.

What is something weird you have done lately? I do a lot of weird shit. / I don’t know.

Do you ever wonder if the person standing next to you is a virgin or not? Funnily enough, yes. / I don’t remember the last time I thought that. 2013 was likely the last time? Lol.

Who do you go to for advice the most? Kev, mostly. / Still Kevin. I don’t ask for advice a lot. I am usually good at that myself.

Can money buy happiness? It buys happiness to an extent. But it’s not everything. / Yeah, I mean. It can help. But I rather have friends and family over money.

Do you think women should work or stay at home? Gosh, I’m offended. Work, of course. We’re not home-bound. :\ / I don’t even want to process this question.

What’s the worst thing to happen to you today? Beginning to be bored. / My real estate agent called me to tell me they need to do an inspection (because we’re moving) and I really don’t have any time to be at that house anymore. I’m frustrated. I wish the worst thing to happen to me today was “beginning to be bored”.

Is there a certain person that makes you feel safe? Sure. / Yes, 100%.

Did you kiss or hug anyone today? No. / Nope.

Do you believe that if you want something bad enough, you’ll get it? Maybe. / Not always, no.

Do you think that someone is thinking about you right now? Probably not. / Unlikely.

Last person you kissed name begins with a T, M, L, E? No. / Nope.

Do you like to hula hoop? Not really.. / It’s fun, but I’m not great.

What’s something that can always make you feel better? I don’t really know. Music? / Yeah, definitely music. A movie. Kevin, Archie, a clean house. (lol)

Would you date an 18 year old at the age you are now? I currently am. / Nope.

When’s the last time you were aggravated and happy at the same time? Hm, often. / I don’t know. Recently, I’d say.

Would you ever smile at a stranger? Yeah, always. You never know who’s life may need saving. / < I still say that.

Have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today? Um no. / No, I haven’t listened to any music today bc Kevin’s asleep.

What exactly are you wearing now? Denim pull over, with leggins. / Leggings (always), a plain T that says “Be The Boss” and a cardigan. 

How often do you listen to music? Daily. / Every second day. Not as often anymore. I don’t have the time or energy.

Do you wear jeans or sweats more? I do not like jeans, nor do I wear sweats. / I don’t wear either still. But definitely jeans more than sweats.

Are you a social or antisocial person? Mixture. / I’m not antisocial. I’m shy.

Have you ever kissed someone whose name begins with an A? Yeah.

What about a T? Mhmm.

Can you drive a stick shift? I have before, but  don’t think I could now. / Legally, I am allowed to, yes. But, I can’t.

Do you care if people talk badly about you? I know for sure they do! / Not right now.

Are you going out of town soon? Probably not any time soon, no. / I don’t believe I am, no.

When was the last time you cried? A couple of days ago, quite possibly. / 2 days ago, I think. And nearly last night.

Have you ever told someone you loved them? Mhmm. / Yes.

If you could change your eye colour would you? I kind of like my eye colour. / Maybe.

Name something you dislike about the day you’re having? I’m sure I’ve answered this? / The fact I have I know I have a lot to do before I go back to work. Even the thought of going back to work right now is annoying me. And just everything. I have to go pick up Darcy’s (my doggy) ashes. :(

Are you dating the last person you talked to? Yeah. / No.

What are you sitting on right now? My bed. / A trundle lol. Bc Kevin’s asleep in the bed behind me.

Does anyone regularly - other than family - tell you they love you? My boyfriend. / Yeah.

Have you ever wanted someone you can’t have? Probably. / Maybe, yes.

Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night? Kev.

Do you get a lot of colds? Not really, no. / Not lately, though I did suffer a lot since last October. So I’d say yes. More than often I have.

Where is the shirt you are wearing from? Cotton On. / Kmart.

Does anyone hate you? Whatevs. Love me or hate me, it’s still an obsession. ;) / Maybe?

Do you have any empty alcohol bottles hidden somewhere in your room? They’re not hidden. / No.

Do you like watching scary movies? Not particularly. / Sometimes.

Do you want your tongue pierced? Not really, no.

If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be? In ways, I would want last year to be deleted from my life. But at the same time I went through a motherfuckin’ psychotic stage, I met someone who means a hell of a lot to me. So, I really don’t know. :\ / I want to say this year, for sure. It has been the worse year of my life thus far but it has taught me a lot too. It has turned me into a better person because of it. So in some ways, I want to keep this year, too. But I don’t know. Yeah, I’d say this year maybe. 

Did you have a dream last night? I don’t know. / Every one does, even if you don’t remember it.

When was the last time you told someone you loved em? Last night/early morning. / Last night.

Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years? Probably not in five, give a year or two more. / Maybe?

Do you think someone has feelings for you? I hope so. / Yes.

Did you have a good day yesterday?  It went too quick to even recall what I done. / I saw Breanna, so yeah. It was good.

Think back five months ago, were you in a relationship? Yeah. / Yes.

In the next 48 hours, will you hang out with a girl? Unlikely. / Kevin’s mum, yes. But she isn’t a “girl”.

Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you? Yeah. / Yes.

What’s the best part about school? I don’t know. I don’t go to school anymore.

Do you have any pictures on your Facebook? Yeah.

Do you ever pass notes to your friends in school? I did.

Do you replay things that have happened in your head? You know what, that’s probably why I am fucked up. >< / Yeah.

Is your life anything like it was 2 years ago? Hell no. / Nope. My life has changed dramatically within the last month or two.

What are you supposed to be doing right now? I should clean my room. Should. But no. / Nothing, really. Not until Kevin wakes up.

Do you hate the last guy you had a conversation with? Hahah, no. / Nope.

Are you nice to everyone? Too nice. / Yes.

Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to? Mhmm. / Yes.

Do you think you can last in a relationship for six months and not cheat? Quite possibly. I have currently. :) / Yes.

[uncle-spice]

89 sexy questions

1. First kiss? 7th grade at a concert at the park near my house. 💜 2. First time masturbating? Probably 8th grade when my friend goated me into buying a sex toy. 3. First sex toy? A pink 7 inch vibe First kink tried? With or without a partner? With was breathplay, and without was tying myself up. 4. First time doing oral? The summer after freshman year at my boyfriends house. 5. First time having sex? Also in the summer after freshman year at my boyfriends house 6. Biggest turn on? Probably touching of my sides or lower back.. 7. Biggest turn off? Idk long nails? Or when someone takes too long to cum 8. Quickest way to get horny? Honestly im nearly always so just lots of touching or fondling can get me there 9. Weirdest thing that ever turned you on? Probably rape bc thats pretty weird 10. Top 3 places to be touched? Sides, spine, butt 11. Ultimate fantasy? Being dominated by a hot boi who’s down for whatever. 12. Do you like the idea of a three or moresome? Eh.. i mean if they’re hot i gues, and down for making me the center of attention. 13. Do you send nudes? Do you like receiving them? Not often. And most of the nudes i get are gross or have tic tac dicks so i usually dont bother but i do take nudies just for myself 14. Sex or masturbation? Hard choice, but probably sex. 15. Spit or swallow? It depends if im deep throating or not and what he tastes like. Either way ill probably swallow. 16. Cut or uncut dicks? Cut but i dont judge as long as its a cute boi that can use it well 17. Rough or sensual sex? A bit of both? Passionate is a better word for me. 18. Oldest person you’d sleep with? As of right now? Probably 22 19. Loud or quiet partners? Eh, depends where we are. I dont want you waking my roommates but if no ones here i wanna hear if im doing a good job or not. 20. How much foreplay do you like? As much as my partners up for 21. How much teasing do you like? A lot but not to the point where i dont get rewarded in the end.. 22. What is too big for you to take? Idfk a 18 inch horse dick? I’ve taken at the most 8 inches. 23. Do you do hookup or only sleep with a partner? 24. Partner though i wouldn’t decline a hookup 25. How much kissing do you like during sex? Lots lots lots 26. What’s the most attractive part of the body Idk I’m a big fan of legs, noses and hair 27. Favourite place to have sex? Cars or the bedroom for me. Though ive really wanted to fuck at a concert.. 28. Would you have sex in public? Depends if its a legal area, and if others are gonna be grossed out or not 29. Last place you had sex? My ex’s house 30. Where would you most like to have sex? A car or concert 31. Do you like spontaneous sex, or do you need to be in the mood? I’m usually up for spontaneous sex but if i dont feel good you better put that dick back where it came from me so help me 32. Could you go through with a hookup at a strangers house Probably 33. What’s your biggest kink? Idk if i can answer that but domination, breath play and roleplay are my top 3 34. What’s your limit? Weird shit like furries, shit and stuff like that. 35. Are you okay with name calling in bed? Yes yes yes. 36. Would you do any BDSM? Yessss as long as i dont die i guess 37. Do you prefer to tie somebody up or be tied up? Being tied up. 38. Favourite type of bondage? Light stuff like scarves or bandanas 39. Do you like orgasm denial/forced orgasm? Eh sure. 40. Do you like overstimulation? Ehhhh 41. Do you like having pain involved? Yaz 42. Do you like biting/being bitten? Both both both 43. Have you ever been made to/made somebody beg for it? Eh i made my ex beg though i really wish someone else were man enough to make me 44. Do you have any strange or extreme kinks? Eh, im sorta into water sports and choking. But thats about as far as it goes in the “extreme” category. 45. Have any roleplaying preferences? Well im super into non con. But I’m also into play a school girl/boy, I’ve done a starwars one, and maybe some daddy/son play 46. Do you own sex toys? How many? Yes and 3 not including lubes 47. Favourite Sex Toy? Probably my newer pink vibe 48. What do you masturbate to? Either music porn or my imagination i guess 49. How often do you masturbate? At the max 2 times a week 50. How often do you use sex toys to masturbate? Nearly every time 51. Do you masturbate with penetration? Yeah dood 52. Do you go for multiple rounds or settle at one or no orgasms? Usually when i have sex I’ll try going for more rounds but when it comes to masturbation if i feel satisfied ill stop. 53. Do you enjoy giving oral? Yes! I love giving oral!!! 54. Do you prefer giving or receiving oral? I prefer giving but getting it isn’t half bad either. 55. What makes you orgasm the fastest when receiving oral? Idk hearing them moan against me? 56. Do you have a preferred technique for giving oral? I like taking my time and kissing and licking and doing it real sweetly 57. Can you deepthroat? Yes but its not my facorite thing in the world to do. 58. Do you do anal? Yes! With proper build up or with toys 💜 Top or bottom? 59. As much as I’d love to be a bottom, i usually have to take over as a top bc there aren’t many guys who actually like being a top. 60. Favourite position? Idk with my legs up or doggy style 61. How often do you do unprotected sex? Nearly everytime ive had sex (i know it was dumb but i haven’t had sex in quite a while and ive learned from those mistakes) 62. How loud are you in bed? Eh im pretty noisy, but mostly loud mewling and gasps 63. Do you enjoy having nipples played with? Not really bc im trans and I’m really self conscious about my chest. 64. Do you like/dislike/love/hate cum? Love!!! 65. How good are you at dirty talk? Not.good.at.all. 66. Do you get sleepy after an orgasm? Depends. Some times im real tired but others i feel like i could run a marathon. 67. Do you like wearing/seeing people in lingerie? I like wearing it when im alone though I’d be way too embarrassed to wear it around my partner 68. Do you masturbate or have sex with clothes on? Yes! 69. What’s your favourite style of underwear? Boxers i guess 70. Are stockings/thigh highs a turn on? Yes! 71. Ever had somebody say no to a kink you suggested trying? Not really though one guy tried getting me to do raw anal and i noped out real quick 72. Do you trim, shave or leave pubic hair untouched? How do you prefer partners? Depends if im in a relationship or not. If i am i will trim if not i wont. Though i do lile my partners with some hair. 73. How many orgasms can you have in a day? Idk i never counted but more than 2 74. How many other people know your dick/bra size? Not many?? 75. What do you wear to bed? Usually a t shirt and boxers 76. Do you eat ass? Do you like having your ass eaten? No, and I’ve had my ass eaten and it wasn’t great and was kind of uncomfortable tbh 77. Try to describe how orgasm feels for you. It’s a mix between a fun burn and having to pee. 78. Have you ever been to a strip club? How was it? If not, would you? No and i probably would if i had people to go with. 79. Fun questions!Do you name your genitalia? No but if i did it’d probably be an Adam 80. What would be your stripper name? Pussy boi 81. Any funny sex stories? Well me and my ex were having sex in his swimming pool and his mom came outside and couldn’t see the lower half of me, and thought we were hugging and was like “awwwe” and i was dying bc it felt really good and i couldn’t do anything and he wouldn’t stop moving his hips. 82. What food if any would you use during sex? 83. Idk whipped cream or something i can lick off 84. Would you give somebody a sex toy as a gift? Yes and i have 85. What’s the weirdest porn you’ve ever seen? ET porn. Look it up and be horrified. 86. Do you often get horny in public? Yes. 87. Ever used something that isn’t made for sex in the bedroom? I’ve used a baseball bat and i have no regrets 88. Have you ever walked in on somebody or been walked in on? Yes by my mother and my ex’s mother but we usually pulled away close enough to make it seem like we weren’t doing anything 89. Do you have any friends you’d sleep with? Oh hell yes. Many. Though of course I’d never tell them that…