#like oh my god. there's lines. they're EVERYWHERE. i can't!!!

[ria-starstruck]

wip hornet parry for the animatic i've been working on!

hk gjinka designs from + inspired by @/foileadeux's gjinkas!!

[headspace-hotel]

Nature is healing.

I burned the Meadow a couple weeks ago. At first it looked like nothing but charred ashes and dirt, with a few scorched green patches, and I was afraid I'd done something terrible. But then the sprouts emerged. Tender new leaves swarming the soil.

My brother and I were outside after dark the other day, to see if any lightning bugs would emerge yet. We had been working on digging the pond. That old soggy spot in the middle of the yard that we called "poor drainage," that always splattered mud over our legs when we ran across it as children—it isn't a failed lawn, and it never was.

Oh, we tried to fill in the mud puddles, even rented heavy machinery and graded the whole thing out, but the little wetland still remembered. God bless those indomitable puddles and wetlands and weeds, that in spite of our efforts to flatten out the differences that make each square meter of land unique from another, still declare themselves over and over to be what they are.

So we've been digging a hole. A wide, shallow hole, with an island in the middle.

And steadily, I've been transplanting in vegetation. At school there is a soggy field that sadly is mowed like any old field. The only pools where a frog could lay eggs are tire ruts. From this field I dig up big clumps of rushes and sedges, and nobody pays me any mind when I smuggle them home.

I pulled a little stick of shrubby willow from some cracked pavement near a creek, and planted it nearby. From a ditch on the side of the road beside a corn field, I dug up cattail rhizomes. Everywhere, tiny bits of wilderness, holding on.

I gathered up rotting logs small enough to carry and made a log pile beside the pond. At another corner is a rock pile. I planted some old branches upright in the ground to make a good place for birds and dragonflies to perch.

And there are so many birds! Mourning doves, robins, cardinals and grackles come here in much bigger numbers, and many, many finches and sparrows. I always hear woodpeckers, even a Pileated Woodpecker here and there. A pair of bluebirds lives here. There are three tree swallows, a barn swallow also, tons of chickadees, and there's always six or seven blue jays screaming and making a commotion. And the goldfinches! Yesterday I watched three brilliant yellow males frolic among the tall dandelions. They would hover above the grass and then drop down. One landed on a dandelion stem and it flopped over. There are several bright orange birds too. I think a couple of them are orioles, but there's definitely also a Summer Tanager. There's a pair of Canada Geese that always fly by overhead around the same time in the evening. It's like their daily commute.

The other day, as I watched, I saw a Cooper's Hawk swoop down and carry off a robin. This was horrifying news for the robin individually, but great news for the ecosystem. The food chain can support more links now.

There are two garter snakes instead of one, both of them fat from being good at snaking. I wonder if there will be babies?

But the biggest change this year is the bugs. It's too early for the lightning bugs, but all the same the yard is full of life.

It's like remembering something I didn't know I forgot. Oh. This is how it's supposed to be. I can't glance in any direction without seeing the movement of bugs. Fat crickets and earwigs scuttle underneath my rock piles, wasps flit about and visit the pond's shore, an unbelievable variety of flies and bees visit the flowers, millipedes and centipedes hide under the logs. Butterflies, moths, and beetles big and small are everywhere.

I can't even describe it in terms of individual encounters; they're just everywhere, hopping and fluttering away with every step. There are so many kinds of ants. I sometimes stare really closely at the ground to watch the activities of the ants. Sometimes they are in long lines, with two lanes of ants going back and forth, touching antennae whenever two ants traveling in opposite directions meet. Sometimes I see ants fighting each other, as though ant war is happening. Sometimes the ants are carrying the curled-up bodies of dead ants—their fallen comrades?

My neighbor gave me all of their fallen leaves (twelve bags!) and it turns out that piling leaves on top of a rock and log pile in a wet area summons an unbelievable amount of snails.

I always heard of snails as pests, but I have learned better. Snails move calcium through the food chain. Birds eat snails and use the calcium in their shells to make egg shells. In this way, snails lead to baby birds. I never would have known this if I hadn't set out to learn about snails.

In the golden hour of evening, bugs drift across the sky like golden motes of dust, whirling and dancing together in the grand dramas of their tiny lives. I think about how complicated their worlds are. After interacting with bees and wasps so much for so long, I'm amazed by how intelligent and polite they are. Bumble bees will hover in front of me, swaying side to side, or circle slowly around me several times, clearly perceiving some kind of information...but what? It seems like bees and wasps can figure out if you are a threat, or if you are peaceful, and act accordingly.

I came to a realization about wasps: when they dart at your head so you hear them buzzing close by your ears, they're announcing their presence. The proper response is to freeze and duck down a bit. It seems like wasps can recognize if you're being polite; for what it's worth, I've never been stung by a wasp.

As night falls, bats emerge and start looping and darting around in the sky above. If the yard seems full of bugs in the day, it is nothing compared to the night.

I'm aware that what I'm about to describe, to an entomophobe, sounds like a horror movie: when i walk to the back yard, the trees are audibly crackling and whirring with the activity of insects. Beetles hover among the branches of the trees. When we look up at the sky, moths of all sizes are flying hither and thither across it. A large, very striking white moth flies past low to the ground.

Last year, seeing a moth against the darkening sky was only occasional. Now there's so many of them.

I consider it in my mind:

When roads and houses are built and land is turned over to various human uses, potentially hundreds of native plant species are extirpated from that small area. But all of the Eastern USA has been heavily altered and destroyed.

Some plants come back easily, like wild blackberry, daisy fleabane, and common violets. But many of them do not. Some plants need fire to sprout, some need Bison or large birds to spread them, some need humans to harvest and care for them, some live in habitats that are frequently treated with contempt, some cannot bear to be grazed by cattle, some are suffocated beneath invasive Tall Fescue, Kentucky bluegrass, honeysuckle or Bradford pears, and some don't like being mowed or bushhogged.

Look at the landscape...hundreds and hundreds of acres of suburbs, pastures, corn fields, pavement, mowed verges and edges of roads.

Yes, you see milkweed now and then, a few plants on the edge of the road, but when you consider the total area of space covered by milkweed, it is so little it is nearly negligible. Imagine how many milkweed plants could grow in a single acre that was caretaken for their prosperity—enough to equal fifty roadsides put together!

Then I consider how many bugs are specialists, that can only feed upon a particular plant. Every kind of plant has its own bugs. When plant diversity is replaced by Plant Sameness, the bug population decreases dramatically.

Plant sameness has taken over the world, and the insect apocalypse is a result.

But in this one small spot, nature is healing...

[sentient-stove]

"Oh my god he’s dead- we killed a vigilante, OHMYGODOHMYGOD—" A hysterical voice screeched out, decidedly feminine and loud enough that the comn line picked it up.

"He broke in here for no reason first! We have probable cause as to why you brained him with our wok!" The second interjected, calmer than the first, but there was still a line of tension, like they were uncertain about what they were saying.

"Oh my god, oh god we’re literally so dead Batman’s literally going to murder me and you and us and—"

"We're already mostly dead, he can't kill us. Although I thought he had a no killing rule anyways, so maybe we’re safe? Ancients, that is a lot of blood. You think we should call an ambulance?" Static filtered through the comn line before stabilizing again and wow. The residents of the apartment were really just having a full conversation over an unconscious Nightwing- in earshot of a microphone recording every word- like this was a normal occurrence. Maybe it was a normal Friday night for them, Barbara couldn't exactly judge.

"I'm not calling an ambulance, they might arrest him. Hell, they're probably gonna arrest us! Danny, we're fucking unresgistered metas in Gotham, I’m a clone—"

"—Not metas and I won’t let anyone arrest you—"

"—It's the same thing to the government at the end of the day. You're right though. I think I hit him too hard, we're going to lose the deposit with the amount of blood getting everywhere. Head wounds bleed a lot right? Maybe he's not dead."

"He's not dead, we'd know if he was."

"Oh. Right. Man. That is a lot of blood, our IKEA rug is ruined. I liked that rug, you think we could ask him to buy a new one when he wakes up or is he on the normal vigilante salary of nothing?"

“Mhm. I'll go get the med kit, you handcuff him to the table so he doesn't jump us when he wakes up. Keep the mask on- I don’t want to piss off whatever buddies he’s got listening in.”

[facefullofsadness]

hybrid!aespa in heat

subby!aespa x dom!reader

smut, 1k wc

I'm going crazy, I haven't been able to stop thinking ab this since my SEVEN THIRTY AM CLASS, but I cannot stop thinking about hybrid!aespa in heat for the first time??

like maknae line are very bby girl in ur relationship, you treating them like a princess in and out of bed, and them just sitting still looking pretty for you! yizhuo seems more of a switch in my head than minjeong does as a hybrid, but when they're in heat, they both become the subbiest babies ever!

minjeong would be RED, cheeks completely flushed and skin hot to the touch. her eyes darting everywhere and hands as fists clutching her clothes, her sheer clothing suddenly feeling too hot. you'd crawl over her squirming body on the bed and she'd whine so hard. "idk what's happening to me y/n-ie. b-but, fuck, please help me," she'd say during her first heat. her hands would reach out blindly for any part of you to clutch onto and pull you into her, her shoving her heated face into your neck. you kinda worried about her, not knowing what was going on, but after she whimpered against your neck by your hot breath whispering into her ear, it clicked. extremely sensitive and respondent to every single brush of your skin against hers, having the most reactive effects on her body. trembling, jolting, shivering, whimpering. the way she would be so loud and whiney when you finally give her what she wants, rutting her hips against your mouth or fingers, could be both! or your own hips too. "so hot, so hot!" she whines desperately, shoving her hips against you as she falls apart.

yizhuo wouldn't be so naive as to what was happening. as soon as she felt her stomach twist and that feeling consuming her entire body with every passing second, her heart started to pound and muscles would tense. immediately dragging herself shakily to look for you and burying her body into yours, sitting in your lap and purring softly in your ear on your skin. suddenly becomes a lot more clingy and whiney, not really feeling any shame or embarrassment unlike the latter. so it's not surprising when she grinds her clothed cunt against your lap, long and deep rolling of her hips against you, just to feel anything. "y/n-ie, I-I think it's happening... you smell fuck- you smell so g-good... you feel so good... I need more, this isn't enough, please give me more..." taking her right then and there on the couch and having her head thrown back as you fuck her with the utmost stamina you can give, her always begging you to give her more. would go so many rounds with you because she can't stop how the knot in her stomach would never fully be relieved, rutting against you even as you try to ease her orgasm, overstimulating herself but immediately ready to go again.

as for the unnie line, it's like night and fucking day. they're definitely wearing the pants in your relationship, having you close to them when you're out in public, pulling you into them with their hand on your hip or wrapping their arm around your shoulders. jimin is a gentle and firm lover while aeri is confident and loves to show you off (under her supervision ofc). but when they're in heat, oh my god the thought makes me dizzy. complete 180.

jimin's eyes would darken as lust and sexual desire consume her. her stare would trail your relaxed body, laying back on the bed. her core started to throb and her hands formed fists against the blankets. crawling up to you, a pained and needy expression spreading across her face. you would look up at her in confusion, your usually quiet and reserved gf looking intense, her eyes drilling holes through your body which made you feel conscious suddenly. "y/n..." she said your name so low and croaky, her voice triggering something in your brain. at this point you understood what she wanted, but you hadn't expected how badly she needed it. "I need you so badly. I need you to fuck me..." taken aback by the sudden advance had your head spinning, but seeing your girlfriend soooo needy, cheeks flushed pink and hot breath hitting your skin, her chest rising up and down with each pant she released, you had to listen to her! you pleasuring her while she's on top of you, grinding her hips down into you and releasing whiney moans with each roll of her body. mumbling incoherently how good it feels and how much of a good girl you are for listening so well to her, her fingers patting your head as her orgasm builds to the wet sounds coming from her aching core.

aeri hated being a hybrid at times because she knew going into heat would make her subby! born to be a dommy mommy, forced to be a baby girl! she absolutely rocks your world whenever you guys fuck, but when she finally experiences it, it's almost comical how different she suddenly is. pushing you up against the door having just come home from dinner, greedily feeling your body with her big hands and lips bruising against her's. when your thumb traced her nipple, she'd moan embarrassingly loud into your mouth, shocking both of you. you pull back to look at her and her eyes are squinted shut, leaning her body into your touch more when you try to take your hand away. "fuck y/n, don't you dare pull away, give me your all right now. I need you sososo bad, it hurts so fucking much..." she'd moan and whine like a sub while demanding you to fuck her like the natural dom she is. sitting in her lap with your lips around her neck, your tongue dragging across the length of her throat as she pulls you by the waist further into her, trying to maximize the amount of sheer pleasure you were giving. releasing deep guttural groans with every roll of her hips, the occasional high pitched loud moan escaping, her fingernails digging into your skin.

and I didn't really mention it but my headcanons for hybrid!aespa are kitten or wolf!rina, puppy!aeri, bunny!winter, and kitten!ning. BUT TO EACH THEIR OWN! (I wish they OWNED me- what who said that?)

[fatale-distraction]

BG3 Companions Social Media Headcanons Part 1

I was bored at work and couldn’t stop. 🤣 I’ll make another post with Halsin, Minthara, Jaheira, Minsc, and some NPCs!

~~~

Astarion - Pre-Tav, Astarion's social media is mostly thirst-traps for some kind of nefarious, Cazador-related money-making plot. They barely scoot past the TOS on lewd content. Very little real personal content, anything that isn't a thirst trap is heavily doctored lifestyle content to make it seem like he's living a much more luxurious life than he actually is.

After meeting Tav and getting rid of Cazador, he deletes all of his old accounts and opens up new ones. They're not exactly private, but he's much more careful about who he follows and who can follow him back. The posts become much more genuine. Still a lot of selfies, but they're sexy in the way of a guy just finally living his truth and being comfortable in his own skin. There's more shots of his daily life; waking up with his partner's obnoxious pets strewn across the bed, morning coffee and his current favorite book, new outfits that make him feel more himself. Tav features heavily in most of his posts, and there are probably as many pictures of them as there are of himself.

Karlach - chaos. No rhyme or reason. Lots of parkour and Jack-ass parodies. Constant flood of pictures of her stuffed animal collection. Stupid filters abound. There's several videos of her just flexing. Lumberjack videos. Seven hundred pictures of Tav, tons of selfies together. Videos of her literally sobbing over some cute stuffy she found or a dog she got to pet. "How many times can I say the fuck word before I get suspended." Memes. Memes everywhere.

Lae'zel - She follows three accounts and never posts anything, but somehow she's constantly scrolling through. What does she even do? Her profile picture is still the default. She doesn't have any profile information filled out. It just says "No." Her screen name is just Lae_zel. Every single item in her favorites is a cat video. She has One photo and its a gym selfie. All of her comments seem really mean at first, but they're all weirdly supportive things along the lines of "your teeth are sharp and your visage terrifying".

Shadowheart - total E-girl influencer vibe. Everything is #nofilter. She doesn't need filters. She's god's most perfect princess. You can't even be mad because it's not vanity its just how she Is. Ends everything with Prayer-hands-emoji hashtag Shar'sblessings or Selune'sblessings depending on where she is in that journey. Hairstyle and makeup tutorials and she makes it look so damn easy. "Dye my hair and cut my bangs with me." "Get ready with me" videos nearly every day. Every picture has a comment from Astarion that just says "oh fuck off" because even he can never hope to be as perfect as she is. Or at least that's what her forty-five thousand followers think.

Wyll - The official Blade of the Frontier social media account(s). Fencing videos and promos. "How to polish your horns for newbies" video that's been taken down twenty-seven times for lewd content even though it's literally for polishing actual horns. Accidental thirst traps because damn. Lots of disability advocacy, especially for visual impairments. Weekly Demon/Devil PSAs. Constantly featured in Karlach's vids and vice-versa. Buddy selfies. Once in a while a pic of him with his dad. Pics with Tav are rare, but when he does post them they're the sweetest pictures and he gushes about them for paragraphs. It's a little gross how gushy they are. Astarion comments with vomit emojis and Wyll just replies with an angry face emoji. The purest content. He's so wholesome. Not a swear to be seen. Lots of gentle hype videos. "You've got this. You can do this. I believe in you."

Gale - oh my god he has the most pretentious social media accounts. He's worse than Astarion. "Well, actually" videos with multiple parts because they're too long. Tea and bookshelves. Tara. So many pics of Tara. Tara napping on a book. Tara swatting a fly. Tara in the window. Tara on the kitchen counter. Tara laying in the sun. Tara doing nothing. He has one of those fancy cat terrarium backpacks. Magic tutorials. Mystra simp. Surprisingly few selfies but the ones he has are IMMACULATE. Pretentious book reviews. His only saving grace is that he is HILARIOUS. He's the only one with a reasonable about of pics with Tav as opposed to almost none or way too many, but the captions are always really sweet.

~~~

Part 2 here!

Part 3 here!

Part 4

[chronicowboy]

a thousand missed chances left on your doorstep | 5.7k

The building comes down behind him, ceiling folding in on itself just as he stumbles out into the evening air. The little girl in his arms gasps and splutters against his neck, wheezy little noises that make his stomach clench. He doesn't have time to mutter any reassurances to her before Bobby's in front of him, shifting her gently into his arms and carrying her over to the ambulances with a steady stream of chatter.

Buck knocks his helmet off with a clumsy gloved hand, rips his mask off to suck in a lungful of smooth fresh air, glances briefly back at the smouldering skeleton of a building he'd thought he might die in. And then Eddie's barrelling into him, eyes wide and wild as they reflect the dancing flames still burning beside them, hands everywhere—on his face, his neck, his shoulders, under his turnouts, between his shoulder blades, small of his back, his hip.

They're familiar touches. A ritual almost as old as their friendship, as frequent as their near-death experiences, a careful routine of are you okay, please be okay, you're okay, we're okay. But they're more familiar than that, familiar even when they're out of sequence. So familiar so recently.

Hands on his face last night wiping pizza sauce from his chin, on his neck inspecting a shaving scratch so tiny Buck hadn't even realised it was there until Eddie's eyes had turned assessing, on his shoulders what feels like every five minutes as they pass in the bay or the kitchen or the gym or the bunkroom or the hallway at home, under his turnouts at the end of their last call when his suspender had slipped down his shoulder, between his shoulder blades when he'd been unable to sleep in the dead of the night and Eddie had simply sat beside him on the couch, small of his back during inventory to accompany every indulgent check, his hip the night before last on the Diaz doorstep when they'd both listed forward just a little like they'd been about to... Like they've been doing so much as of late.

Buck can't find it in him to finish what they'd started on that doorstep a few days ago—what started seven years ago—but when Eddie opens his mouth, Buck can finish the thought before it's even fully formed.

"Her name is Christine," he says, glancing over at the woman silently sobbing into her daughter's hair as Hen checks her out. Eddie's eyes haven't wavered from him when he finally manages to turn back. "The mom called her Chris."

Buck might not be brave enough to cross that line, but he should get a fucking Medal of Valour for staying standing after the look Eddie turns on him then.

"Buck," he murmurs, soft and choked and quietly desperate. "I—"

"Evan?" Buck turns a millisecond before his brain places the voice and then he's almost winded by the sight of them. "Oh my God, it is you."

"Mark?" Buck breathes, name crawling out of his throat like a wheeze. "Holy shit."

(or: buck bumps into an old friend at a call, eddie is really normal about it actually, buck isn't)

[kbagraces]

Curious Time - Lando Norris

Lando Norris x Singer!reader

Multiple part series where their friendship was easy, their feelings were confusing and the distance was the hardest <3

(3rd person perspective)

PART 3 -

BUBBLEGUM

"It's sad because it just hurts. I'd do anything for you."

The week drawing to a close, a sad vibe lingered between the two of them. They cherished the moments they spent together, but with the final day approaching they both struggled to keep spirits high.

With both of their career paths, it was hard to fit into each other lives, but Lando's summer break ending and you preparing for the release for her next single, she knew contact would fall back to a minimum. They were both the most important people in one another's lives, even if they didn't speak for a year that would remain true, but bitter sweet.

The staycations would become day visits, turning to missed calls and sparse texts until their schedules aligned once more. She hated saying goodbye, she hated leaving him. She wished either of the jobs was less demanding but neither would ever give it up despite the toll it took on the two of them.

The final day was here. They agreed on day in bed as her flight was late and she couldn't be tired and miss it. The day was filled with hugs and sweet nothings, days like today is the only time she blurred the friendship line, when sober that is. Nothing too intimate, they'd never take it that far but her fingers would find their way into his curls as he's lying on her lap. Massaging any stress he has away, knowing it'll come flooding back as soon as she leaves.

"I wish you didn't have to go. Everything is easier with you here." He sighs. His head lifting up, sitting beside her so he can look in her eyes.

"You'll be fine in a week and you know it. Back to normal, you'll busy yourself with work and soon enough you'll be racing, you won't have time to give me a second thought." She smiles, she knows the first week is the hardest, but they're both cut from the same loaf, distract yourself with work and it soon enough goes. Until a hard day hits and all she needs is him.

"You're never a second thought and you know it. You're first in my life, always."

She could cry, she would never not in-front of him that's not fair on either of them. But God does she adore him. She couldn't live without him. "You're my favourite. I wish I could stay."

Silence takes over once more, nothing more needs to be said. An hour more of cuddling this way the sun has set the room dimly lit by the street lamps and the glow of the city.

"I need to make sure I've got all my stuff." She sighs shifting his head off her lap. Slithering out of bed, dragging herself to the room, her bags mainly packed but she likes to check then check again. She drags each bag to the front door, another quick glance over the now empty room making sure she hasn't forgotten anything.

Lando's now stood in the doorway once more, "I'll miss having your mess everywhere."

"It wasn't mess! It was so I was able to see what I brought with me!" She fires back, knowing he was only joking.

She falls into his arms, she has to leave now. He can't take her to the airport it's far too busy for the two of them to both arrive there. A mob at an airport is one way to piss the staff off before a flight.

She breathes in her scent once more, he kisses the top of her heard. "Don't go." He mumbled into her hair.

"That's not fair Lan, and you know it.", she looks up at him with sad eyes, their faces inches apart. His eyes dart between hers, he's leaning in.

He kisses her, she doesn't even comprehend before returning the kiss. Just like them laying together they fit. It's right. This feels right. So why is she pulling away, why is she pushing him away.

"We can't Lando, we can't do that. Please don't do that." Oh but I want to do that again, her heart says but her head is stronger.

He looks hurt and confused, "Why? y/n/n I know you feel it. Everyone says it. Come on." He grabs her hands pulling her close, not to kiss her again but to lessen the distance. He doesn't like how far she pulled away, he needs her close. Always.

"I can't do this Lando. Not now. Not when I'm leaving. I know what'll happen you'll promise me stuff and I'll promise you stuff. But we can't maintain it, not with the distance. And I'll lose you, one of us will get hurt and I'll lose you. I can't lose you." Tears appear in the corner of her eyes but she wipes them away before they can exit. Don't cry, dammit, she thinks.

Lando let's go of her hands now, running his own through his hair in frustration and upset. "You won't try? You won't even try? You'll never lose me no matter what. This could be good, so good and you won't try?" He's aware he sounds desperate, apart of him is. Having her here for almost a month has made him more aware of his feelings than even.

"We've never even discussed this Lando! You can't say all this as I'm about to leave!"

"I don't need to say it! I know you feel the same. It's us, I know how you feel. 'He's not you' that's what you said."

"I'd love it work Lan. I'd love nothing more. We can't even keep our friendship going for months, let alone a relationship. Please don't be angry at me. I need to in my life I don't want to risk losing you in case it doesn't work."

Lando knows in his soul it would work. There's nothing in the world he wouldn't do to make it work. He can't force her mind to change however.

"I disagree. But I can't force you. Im always yours. I'll always be yours, y/n/n. It's you." He pulls her in for a hug, her phone ringing in the background. The Uber having just arrived at the worst time.

He clears his throat, weak from holding back tears and frustration, "I'll bring ur bags down, I'll meet you down there, tell him to wait 5."

Y/n runs ahead, speaking to the Uber driver in her limited French as Lando loads up the boot. The driver gets in, sensing the goodbye should be private.

"Lan, I'm yours but it just won't work."

What does that mean? He wants to scream. He knows she wants him. That's why she rejects every man who's not him. She's shown no romantic interest in anyone else since they met, she hides behind the work excuse, because she wants him, she just won't give herself to him.

"I'll wait." He promises.

"You don't have to."

"Then how come I do?"

They hug for a little too long, the driver visibly getting impatient. They don't care. She kisses him, on the cheek this time, like she always does. He makes her promise to call him when she lands, she does but she knows he'll be asleep, and the drifting apart will begin again. It's only a matter of time.

Masterlist

[ughgoaway]

have you ever thought about a time when Girlie is with Annie and Matty bathing the dog and it's a warm family atmosphere? and maybe then go to the park and play as a family.

Thank you so much for the cute idea 🪐 anon!! my random thoughts below the cut as always lol <3

✿❀✿✿❀✿✿❀✿✿❀✿✿❀✿✿❀✿✿❀✿✿❀✿

anyway, yes, this is so fun to think about. I love anything with mayhem, and the image of you all trying to tackle him into the bath to give him a proper wash is so funny.

I can see Matty, mayhem, and Annie coming home from a walk, and to say they are muddy is an understatement. He calls you as they're approaching the house and tells you to prepare the bath; warning you that is officially time to bathe mayhem.

You try to avoid washing him at home as much as possible, sending him off to the groomers whenever you can. Not because you don't love him, but because he is fucking massive and it's somehow a three-man job. 

Getting Annie involved was the last solution after too many disastrous attempts, but you needed an extra pair of hands. And she was the only one in the house. But Mayhem loves her so much, so she's actually a pretty good distraction. 

You line the walk to the bathroom with towels and creek open the front door slowly, and your jaw drops at the sight in front of you. Mayhem is caked in mud, staring up at you with his tongue hanging out and his tail wagging wildy, splashing more mud around.

Matty and Annie were both wearing welly boots, and they were also covered in mud. Annie even had some in her hair, but those two could be dealt with later. Mayhem was your current mission.

“Oh my god. Matthew, how did it get this bad?” You ask in shock, flicking your wide eyes over the three of them.

“It's not my fault. I swear. Mayhem got out of his harness and ran into a muddy puddle. Me and Annie ran after him, but the puddle turned out to be a bit deeper than we thought…” Matty says sheepishly, rubbing at the back of his neck with his hands, but quickly snatching them away with a grossed-out look on his face when he feels the mud in his hair.

You sigh heavily at Matty and start gently guiding mayhem in the house as Annie holds his tail to stop him from wagging it and spraying mud everywhere.

Eventually, you get Mayhem safely in the bathroom after walking very slowly the whole time. You all know from past experience that if you walk too quickly, mayhem takes it as a queue to sprint at full force through the house and rub his face on the rug in the front room. 

You really tried to get the mud out last time, but it was a pointless task. Matty still claims you somehow planned it because you hated that rug. “How else did he get so muddy when it hadn't rained in weeks?” he accuses you time after time.

You deny it wholeheartedly, but you can't deny the feeling of joy you felt when you saw mayhem rubbing his whole body over it, and let's just say you definitely didn't do anything to stop it.

But you actually like the new rug you bought, so when you finally got mayhem in the bathroom this time, the three of you couldn't help but cheer as soon as the door clicked shut.

However, you forgot that any sort of excitement would hype mayhem up to no end, so as soon as he heard the cheers, he jumped on his hind legs and pounced onto Matty.

“Woah mayhem- WAIT NO-” Matty shouts.

Now, usually, Matty caught him quite well, keeping mayhem upright and balancing him perfectly on his chest. But this time, he wasn't prepared, and before you knew it, all you saw was a massive splash of water coming out of the bath as mayhem pushed both him and Matty in it.

You and Annie stood there in shock for a few seconds, but as soon as Matty sat up in the bath, covered in mud and bubbled. You all couldn't help but burst out laughing. Matty pouted, of course, but he soon realised that this kind of was the ideal way to wash mayhem. He could keep him calm as you and Annie scrubbed him.

“Right, Annie, will you grab the peanut butter for me, sweetheart? Your dad is on mayhem feeding duty today” you say, lathering up the soap between your hands as Matty uses a bowel to wet mayhem.

“Here you go, Daddy. Don't eat the peanut butter, though, mayhem licks from this one” Annie warns, holding the jar just out of Matty’s reach until he nods at her words. After she knows he heard her, she quite happily hands it over, grabbing the bowl from Matty’s hands and rinsing mayhem once more.

The four of you are all huddled either in or around the bath, scrubbing mayhem and watching the mud pour off him. Matty sits in front of him, holding the peanut butter jar in front of his face so he can happily lick inside the jar whilst you clean his paws.

“Daddy you look silly in the bath with Mayhem.” Annie giggles as she scrubs Mayhem’s head, giving him a mohawk with the bubbles that form. 

“I know, i know. Will you go grab my camera for me, sweet girl? I wanna get a photo of us all” matty asks, smiling down at mayhem with too much love in his eyes, considering mayhem had bowled him over not even 10 minutes earlier.

Annie scampers off and grabs the camera, leaving you and Matty alone in the bathroom. 

“You do look quite stupid in the bath, you know?” You tease, grinning down at Matty and watching him roll his eyes and hold in a laugh.

“Quite dilfy too, though” you add on thoughtfully, looking at how Matty’s soaking white shirt was starting to become completely transparent, and you couldn't help but gawk at the way his tattoos became more visible beneath the wet fabric. Matty pulls his shirt off cheekily, dropping it on the floor next to him before teasing you back.

“Mmm, I always look dilfy. S’how I got you, anyway” Matty gives you a smug smile, and you can't help but kiss it off his face, humming happily as you feel his lips working against yours. 

You both get a bit lost in the kiss, and soon it becomes a little desperate and breathless, all tongues and teeth as poor mayhem has to stand there are witness it all. But it soon enough gets interrupted by Annie walking in, and very eloquently proclaiming “ewwww!!”

You and Matty both laugh against each other's lips, and you feel a bit dizzy when you pull away, having to blink a few times before you bring yourself back to earth. 

You quickly snap a few shots with Matty's Polaroid camera; a selfie of you all, and a picture of annie grinning next to mayhem with his bubble mohawk. But, you get a particularly cute one of Matty and mayhem and you can't help but sneak that one away for yourself.

(ik this is not actually mayhem in this picture… but let's all use our imaginations <3)

You eventually get him all washed up and wrangle him out of the bath onto a towel. however, as soon as things are slightly too quiet and still, you can see the mischief brewing in mayhems eyes.

“Mayhem… no. don't even think about it” but he is a dog after all, so he ignores you completely. And soon enough, he's shaking every single drop of water off his body and onto the three of you.

The only thing that's heard in the bathroom is all of your screams, Annie runs behind the bathroom cabinet in an attempt to hide from the spray, but alas, there is no escape.

After far too many seconds for your liking, he stops shaking. And is looking at Matty with his mouth open in a smile and with a wagging tail.

“You're so lucky you're so cute, mate,” Matty sighs.

“Bloody horse dog,” you mumble under your breath, looking in the mirror at your now dripping wet hair.

Annie simply giggles, grinning as she bends down to give mayhem a hug and squealing when he starts to lick her face. you forgive mayhem pretty quickly after that, blowdrying him, yourself, matty, and annie in a row and snapping another picture of you all.

Now, as for going to the park after, I think you try to avoid it for a few days, trying to keep him clean as long as possible. But before the week is over, all four of you are running around in the mud together like crazy people, and you don't even think about the carnage this is all gonna cause.

[kani-miso]

self indulgent essomnia

i feel left out being the only one thinking of insomnia as es instead of mikoto. i know it does fit for mikoto, but hear me out.

ramble under the cut

there's actually a lot of reasons on why i think about es insomnia !!

i made this before the new official lyrics came oh my god i needed to update it.

the whole motif of everyone around them being balloon headed people remind me of the es covers album. they're both covered and still have the distinct features of the person (balloon heads still having stuff like glasses and hats, and es covers having each characters character color).

mr creepypasta watching over sunao really radiates panopticon vibes. i've always seen mr creepypasta similiar to jackalope since they're basically the all seeing eye. the way that mr creepypasta takes care of sunao reminds me of how jackalope (more exactly, milgram as a whole) takes care of es, especially if you connect it with the ca theory (we'll get to that later). the difference is that mr creepypasta is actually caring (i think?) and milgram is harsh, the system is just messed up. you can also count the novel jackalopes, they really don't care about their wardens well being (novel jacka (almost) cutting of one of their wardens breath, mv jackalope being absent and verbally abusive).

"what day of the week is today?" "surviving days are too painful" every month, every week, each day, their schedule is packed with work. because they have been working mindlessly they would forget what day it is (also i'm pretty sure you can't really track time in milgram). everyday would be painful for them since there's really nothing to do except work, interrogations are also tiring.

"my smirk is more recognizeable" *bang* each interrogation, their "apatheticness" becomes more visible because the prisoners become more unbearable (ex: fuuta t2 vd ). since they've gotten enough of it, they lash out to the prisoners (ex: fuuta and es' argument).

"even when transmitted in words, they wont intersect" even when es explains the verdicts through words, the prisoners (guilty) wont understand.

"even chant for disagreements, huh, whether those are justice or evil" this line fits perfectly with the guilty 4 (and maybe some innos). the guilties are chanting their disagreement towards their verdict, but es wouldn't listen even if they're right (justice/justifiable reasons) or wrong (evil/malicious reasons).

"as long as we can only be judged subjectively" basically judging the prisoners according to personal biases. they rely on those biased opinions because the viewers technically have more authority than es. the original milgram experiment proves that people(es) will listen to commands even if they're Immoral as long as those commands are sent/told by those above them(us).

"this is the place where i can be myself" this line plays while the mv shows sunao with mr creepypasta behind him. i like incorproting this as milgram being the place where they can be "themself" (even though jackalope is still watching).

"don't mix yourself up" there's many mini sunao's everywhere. it reminds me of how the voices in es' head probably makes them confused on which thought is actually theirs. also, that part of the mv, all of those posters (?) of mini sunao's are like self promoting the song by putting 'insomnia' in every poster. it reminds me of how milgram self promotes in the prisoners mvs (ex: the perfume bottle in weakness, fuuta's phone in bio, yuno's socks having the word 'umbilical' on it, etc).

"don't lose sight of your heart" not sure if this makes sense but es' heart is just feelings of their duty being warden.

"i want to know you, and cross the borderline where neither good nor evil exists" literally the es line ever. they want to know the prisoners and their sins without personal biases (since morality differs from person to person). it really fits with one of the lines in undercover (Is it really ok to be done with deciding with just your EGO?).

"here's the night we can't return anymore, but let me go beyond that with you" isn't the kidnapping of the prisoners and es the night where they can't return no more? the prisoners are trying to make es is tag along with the prisoners to go "beyond" it (ex: some of the prisoners saying how they're both on the same boat (something like that)) milgram is the place where you can't exactly return (in the novels, there's only one person who succesfully left milgram (torch/touchi) but only because he rebelled against the rules).

"one day, we will see each other in the proper world" *mr creepypasta leaving sunao* idk it really just feels like how jackalope is absent and not caring for es 90% of the time.

↑new lyrics: "i hope we can meet in the world i envisioned" this line fits more with es and the prisoners instead of es woth milgram.

"everything will stay vacant if this continues" i actually didn't want to add this but hey. what if the "this" is milgram. everything will stay empty if es chooses to continue along milgram. i hope you understood. also the scene fits as well. the scene is mini sunao looking at balloon headed people with one eye. it's similiar to how es' whole life is broadcasted worldwide til other people can see their immature and childish acts/behaviors.

↑ new lyrics: "at this rate, i'll keep being empty in this unfufilling city".

"i intentionally threw away my longing" "it makes me sigh" "in front of my blurred future" i don't really want to talk about the lyrics, i want to talk about the mv but wtv. they threw away their personal desires (autonomy and their free will) making their future inconsistent (blurred future). ok the mv. the mv scene shows sunao being led by mr creepypasta, since nobody can see mr creepypasta, sunao looks like he's holding onto nothing. it's similiar to how es talks to jackalope. since only es can hear jackalope, they look like they're talking to themselves. (pointed out by muu)

"honestly, i'm evil with a rotten soul. i wish for misfortunes to happen." es knows what they're doing "is sort of" wrong at some point iirc ("I get that this is painful for you, but I'm telling you my own thoughts.") and ("Yet I've been dealing with it this whole time! I've been desperately thinking about all of the prisoners, including you! So I don't think I was ever wrong. No matter what hell I make this place to be, I will not run away! I won't make someone else deal with it!") <not really but they do emphasize that they could make milgram a living hell. they also technically wish for "misfortunes" to happen via guilty verdicts although they're not the one that chooses ("Shut your mouth…! I am the one casting the judgements here!").

"i even don't know about myself" "but i know my fate, riddled with misfortune, is at a dead end" *sunao sleepwalking (?) while holding mr creepypasta's hand* *sunao getting recorded live and people laughing at him* this fits so well i'm going insane. since es has weird habits (ex : mumbling to themselves alot, talking to nothing/themselves) that the prisoners can't understand, some of them just laughs at them and tell them they're weird (ex: muu). (the text on the phone filming: "♪ im rambling", 'ha?", "filming/recording something?", "dangerous wwwww", "seriously, stop filming and run away", "this guy's dangerous", "report")

"those pierced words that strike my heart" "they still haunt my memory" it fits one of the vds but i forgot which one (…This is bad for my heart. Stop it. Besides, that’s what I’d like to know as well…)

i didn't put this in bc of the image limit (on mobile rn) but i want to talk about the chorus lyrics too.

"from the depths of hell, i've been climbing up my whole life. but perhaps i can look at this ruined future and lay a flower of hope upon it's grave, even now i'm still praying. we're still connected, i saw this day in my dreams" guys this line is just so es coded idk how to word it. "i've been climbing up for my whole life" feels similiar to how es bears to keep on going with 10 troublesome prisoners ("Yet I've been dealing with it this whole time! I've been desperately thinking about all of the prisoners, including you!") and ("I am watching over ten troublesome prisoners, after all. Even if I don’t want to, I’m being relied on.").

the scene is just like what i said before, their childish actions/behaviors are broadcasted to the world (in this scene it's on a big screen). also es fighting their own instincitual/childish desires is so real, they force themselves to put that wardenly facade and repress their childishness. (also the 'pray' on top is interesting). not talking about the lyrics since it really isn't important for now.

ok this is where we talk about the ca theory. the reason es trusts milgram so much is maybe because milgram supposedly "saved" them from their abusive household. how would you know they have an abusive household? you can see by how they react to physical touch and other stuff ("Don’t touch me like we’re friends.") and ("Hah? Stop staring at me so openly. It’s disgusting."). you can assume that they went through csa too. the fear of being touched and looked at does not come out of nowhere, it comes from previous traumatic events that made them uncomfortable with it. also, more stuff to add up to the csa theory ("It's a personal dislike of mine. People who acts based on their sexual urges like that, that is"). if we do use the ca theory, this whole scene fits so well. mr creepypasta literally saved sunao from his abuser.

for the last two scenes, no matter how hurt es is, they would still be focusing on milgram instead of themselves.

there's probably more things i want to talk about but i can't talk about it properly. anyways omg the new lyrics are so cool i love the way they gave effects on it.

i'm relatively new to eve lore so i probably made mistakes about these two characters (mr creepypasta and sunao) so im really just basing it off of the insomnia mv only. (i love mr creepypasta (for now)!!! (fun fact: i thought on one of the scenes, the hand was pouring boiling water on sunao was mr creepypasta and then i disliked them, i just realized after a few days that it's not them (and now i love them)) (i also really like sunao,,, the mipy ever (i dont know much about tobi but they're cool))

[fandomfluffandfuck]

Can we talk about how much of a sucker Steve would be for kisses. Like obviously right on the lips is prime but a kiss on the cheek or the forehead drives him a little mad. Or maybe right on the nose, I think that one particularly makes him blush like crazy.

If Bucky walks up behind him in the morning before he's put a shirt on and plants a kiss right on the crook of his neck or his shoulder, he will never fail to go red all over. If he kisses the base of Steve's neck right at the top of his back, it makes him shiver all the way down to his tail bone.

Or if they're in a certain position where it's viable, pressing a delicate kiss onto his tail bone and watching the shiver reverse and go all the way up his back and shoulders.

Kisses on his inner thighs too, turns Steve into a melted, jelly like mess, he always twitches away, since it's almost a ticklish sensation but Bucky never lets him get far.

And EVERY kiss without fail, no matter where it's located on his body, no matter the mood, makes Steve produce a quiet little breathy whine form the back of his throat. He doesn't even realise he does it and Bucky doesn't want to say anything because if Steve actually become aware that he does it, he might stop. And what a tragedy that would be so Bucky just keeps it to himself, struggles, but keeps it.

Oh my god, yes. Yes, we can talk about it, though, really, this just reminds me so strongly of an older ask I answered about how Steve feels about being licked

Like, he's just so sensitive and sweet. There's something about a tongue, or in this case, a pair of lips pressed against his skin that he can't help but react to. Even the faintest kiss, the softest kitten-lick, and he's shuddering. He gets goosebumps everywhere, turning pink faster than should be possible.

He can't help it.

Steve is so simple sometimes, dumb with pleasure, and getting pleasure from things that Bucky... doesn't really understand. Like, okay, yes, of course, being licked, being kissed feels good, it's sensual, but outright sexual? Pleasurable in a way that you can't help but curl your toes and bow your back until the arch is so deep it hurts? Nah. Not unless you're Steve, apparently.

Supersensitive, superslut Steve.

That's his Steve.

"Or if they're in a certain position where it's viable, pressing a delicate kiss onto his tail bone and watching the shiver reverse and go all the way up his back and shoulders."

Guh.

I really love the imagery of that. Steve's this big, muscular guy but the small of his back is so small and his tailbone is so cute with that pink little line down between his cheeks, over his tight hole, and down his pretty balls.

Thinking about that pouty, breathy whine is too much 😮‍💨😮‍💨 I can't take it. He's the fucking sweetest and such a filthy lil thing. I love him.

Thank you for your thoughts and reminding me of that older ask!!

[wise-lizard-wizard]

your lamb posting has affected us to a point that I dreamt I got canceled on tumblr.com for looking at too much lamb fanart–

Anon, I am so, so sorry about that. Both because that dream sounds incredibly unpleasant, even if I find that incredibly funny (I still feel bad for you though, I hope you have some amazing and sweet dreams tonight forever-more)-

-and because, ironically enough, despite all the lamb posting I'm not even in the Cult of the lamb fandom.

My friend is the one who's hyperfixing on CotL and I usually go into the tag of whatever fandom they're hyperfixing on to send them posts, but when you go into a tag tumblr usually starts reccomending those posts to you, and the problem with the CotL fandom is that the fanart is So incredibly compelling and good.

I really, really like the fanart. The character design, colors, humor, story lines, expression and sheer beauty of the fanart produced by this fandom is just astounding. I'm in awe of it. Shout out the those fanartists, I am dazzled by it all.

The real problem comes in that if I see good fanart, I obviously give it a like. Unfortunately, I've hardwired myself into reblogging everything I give a like to, so now my dashboard is just. Filled. With CotL.

So, its kinda been a snowballing effect of:

Looked for pretty fanart to send to friend.

See pretty fanart

Send to friend

Ooh, its very pretty, gotta like it. Oh shit, now gotta reblog it.

Tumblr: oooh, the little boything likes and reblogs? SEND MORE LAMB!

See the fanart, send the fanart, reblog, now there's more fanart!

I'm trapped in a vicious cycle anon. Its destroying my life and dashboard anon. I'm ass deep anon, I think I've seen like one Svsss fanart and not a single transformers fanart or post. Its all just Lamb and defeated cat god everywhere.

Which is good for the friend I keep sending CotL posts to, but not good for me (Since I'm currently knee deep in transformers) or for the mutuals (who are not into transformers or CotL. I think?)

(The cotl fandom kinda reminds me of the scum villain fandom in terms of quality, humor and beauty. The fandoms give off very similar vibes, which is ironic considering the one and only CotL fic I read was an Scum Villain CotL au. It was really good!)

Anyway, I'll try to reblog more posts about frogs and non-lamb related posts, I might just end up the next victim of the Lamb fanart tumblr cancelling dream. I really can't afford that, my dreams get hyper-spesific and incredibly weird.

I hope you have an amazing day anon! I hope something good happens and that you get to eat your favorite snack!

[jiminiecrickets]

Seven days a week couple drabble where oc is out with jk and they see jk's ex boyfriend and oc make out with jk to make his ex jealous ?

sfw. kinda abrupt ending sorry lol

jungkook crashes into your chest with a squeak and a massive sigh of relief. he grabs you by the shoulders – his can of coca cola seems to have vanished.

"ah, baby, i've been looking for you everywhere! come, come."

you let yourself be dragged after him, away from the club's bar. you'd been using it as a central landmark to find jungkook. "o-okay."

he pauses just by the neon-lit dance floor, turning to you. he places his hands on your chest and nibbles on his lower lip. the heavy electric music pounds in your bones. "i should probably tell you what i'm thinking."

"that'd be nice, yes. you disappeared quite suddenly."

"okay, well, you know my ex? the american boy?"

"uh, yeah...? where are you going with this?"

"he's here. tonight."

oh.

you blink down at him, mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water. he gnaws on his lower lip, fidgeting with the edge of his jacket and watching you anxiously for a response.

eventually, you find your voice. "well, okay, that puts a damper on things. would you like to leave?"

"no, no. i don't wanna ruin our night just 'cause of one guy. instead, i was thinking we could maybe say hi... or hi."

you get what he's hinting at immediately. your eyes narrow and you place your hands on your hips. "i'm seriously just a piece of meat to you? i'm only your trophy boyfriend and eye-candy when you want to make someone jealous, but to all your friends, you're constantly greeting them with the most embarrassing stories about me?"

jungkook's eyes widen to the size of saucers and he waves his hands frantically. "what? no! they're not the most embarrassing ones. a-anyway, my love language is actually bullying people, so you should be grateful that i'm mean to you. it just means i love you a lot."

"oh, thank you so dearly for not using the worst ones. much appreciated." you can't keep up the drama any longer and the act drops with a soft huff of laughter. "so, you're feeling petty, huh?"

"yeah." he hides his grin by nibbling on his thumbnail, placed between his front teeth. gently, you pull his hand down, and he hums, swinging your hands together and pressing closer. "please? for me? i'll do something real nice for you if you do..."

"this is bribery," you murmur against his lips. "mmh..."

"is it?" he ghosts his lips over your jawline, sucking gently over your pulse. it makes your breath hitch. slowly, he guides you in his ex's direction, pulling on your hands and sticking close to the walls. you don't actually know what the guy looks like, but you trust jungkook to know where he's going.

"red shirt, black jeans," he whispers into your ear. "to your left."

you spot the guy he's referencing facing your direction, chatting with a couple of friends with a drink in his hand. you tuck your face into jungkook's neck as he positions the both of you just perfectly in his line of sight, tugging you in by your collar until his back hits the wall.

he moans softly as your lips trail over his neck and collar. "oh, he's already looking. lift me up."

you comply, hooking your hands beneath his perfect thighs and hoisting him against the wall with ease. he makes it easy, knowing where to shift his weight towards yours and how to cling to you without looking like he's trying too hard.

"hey, this is nice," you chuckle, hefting him even higher so that your face is level with his chest, rising and falling rapidly. "why don't we do this more often?"

he scoffs and blushes, glad that it's dark. "my eyes are up here."

he tightens his legs around you and lowers his lips to yours, humming as he wraps his arms around your shoulders. it's hot, electric, your breaths hot and sweet with fruity alcohol.

"he's looking. oh, god, he's looking," he whispers, hungrily moulding your lips together once again. you don't know how much of it is an act anymore. "this is so much more fun than i thought it would be. kiss me harder, hyung."

"as you wish," you reply with a grin, and kiss him until he's so full of love that bitterness has no more space to breathe.

[ilions-end]

uh oh i've finished THE THEBAID! time to talk about it!

disclaimer: i'm not a roman empire girlie. like with the aeneid, i'm AWARE the author is using the medium of greek myths to say things about the state of the republic and roman culture, and i'm just kinda... not interested in that. i'm here for the plot and the characters. envision i'm a child watching saturday morning cartoons with my bowl of fruit loops going "yayy did you see the character do the thing?! that was so cool!!". basically i'm enjoying these stories on the "easily entertained dumbass" level

and i LOVED it. i got FUCKED UP by this epic in the best way. HOW TO DESCRIBE THE THEBAID?

it's so deliciously engaging and funny and dark. to me it feels more closely related to the iliad than either the odyssey or the aeneid, but it's in conversation with all of them and also so unique. there are bitter ironies everywhere, troubled people making worse choices. ALL the characters are flawed, but in extremely interesting and engaging (and even endearing) ways.

there's something about how it starts out as a GREAT EPIC telling the story of BRAVE HEROES except they can't retain their integrity as the story progresses, they can't fathom their own limitations or flaws. it's like the iliad if achilles HADN'T accepted priam's plea, it's the odyssey if odysseus hadn't retained enough of himself to string that bow or remember the bed. it's a story that tells you "they failed, none of this mattered, but also all of it mattered".

i love how statius as an author is SO present, leading you by the hand through the narrative, offering his views (he has so many opinions and snide asides! and sometimes he complains about how much WORK it is to tell you this story, omg why are you forcing him to do all this work!) and it all feels so -- aw that's my buddy statius!! my funny friend statius is telling me this story and it's great!

this might be the first epic i've read where we know the author wanted it to more or less BE like that, so there are some LONG LINES being drawn from the beginning of the story to the end

i'll be honest, i didn't know much about the theban cycle when i started reading. i knew about oedipus, and antigone, and that diomedes' dad was in it, and that everybody fails spectacularly at what they're trying to achieve. and turns out that was more than enough knowledge to hit the ground running, it's surprisingly straightforward

i'd assumed diomedes' dad was just "one of the seven leaders against thebes", but no he's a MAIN main guy! tydeus is so central, at one point he is ENTIRELY to blame for everything bad that happens later, and i fell in love with that awful little murderman

like the way tydeus introduces himself in the first chapter saying he's from "calydon, the breeding ground of monsters". and you're sitting there like HOHOHO i think we're gonna discover who's the latest monster to come out of calydon!

like the iliad, it shows both sides of the conflict, and arguably our main point of view guys are WAY MORE fucked up than they guys they're fighting. like i love polynices, he's sympathetic because he's been treated so unfairly but that doesn't mean he's not kinda fucked up; i love eteocles, who's a tyrant and cheated, but he's fun to watch and equally fucked up

the wonderful thing is that it doesn't matter who you cheer for, everyone's gonna lose :D

it has everything you want from an epic: gods taking sides, glorious aristeias, tragic battlefield deaths, a trip to the underworld, funeral games, evocative descriptions of weaponry and equipment (statius is SO to the point when it comes to ekphrasis, love him for that), a sexy night raid... the contexts for some of these might surprise you!

AND. AND. IT HAS WHAT THE ILIAD LACKS. that's right: DIONYSUS, baby!! he's here, he's involved, he's getting his hands dirty! also he gets to play a very thetis-like part at one point, which i think is sexy.

statius does amazing work making all these characters distinct. i never thought i'd get a detailed sense of all SEVEN against thebes (and other characters besides ofc) but each of them has their uniquely memorable moments and oddities and they're all so different from each other. it's about PERSONALITIES and it's about those personalities gradually being INFECTED by polynices' transgressive thebe-ness. and still i'm hugging them all to my chest. my little fucked up dudes

it's fascinating that the thebaid is ultimately a tragedy, but it's not like athenian tragedy -- this isn't about how there was no other way, or that everything's already locked down heading for catastrophe; it's the opposite! the heartbreak is in how we see that the conflict could have ended HERE, or HERE, or HERE, or HERE, but they're all so set on doing this they're willing to ignore EVERY bad omen, write off EVERY loss, and convince each other OF COURSE they're gonna win (which they won't!) because they're THE HEROES, DAMMIT. it's HUBRIS, THE EPIC

my favourite moment of "this could easily have ended here" is before the war, when polynices falls out of his chariot during the funeral games, and he's in the middle of the track when all the other racing teams come thundering towards him. statius STOPS TIME at that moment to tell us how close polynices is to dying, that ALL THE PAIN AND DEATH that is sure to come would have been avoided RIGHT HERE if only he'd been trampled and killed, and what a blessing that would have been. but the story has to continue, polynices escapes without a scratch and everything bad happens as it must. THE FLAVOUR of moments like that?? GAWD

so those are some general thoughts. specific moments under the cut because i can never stop talking once i get going

a main thing is how IMMENSELY DISGUSTED zeus is with oedipus, and it never stops being funny. because, like, 1) oedipus' incest kids are adults at this point, and you're still THIS worked up about it?? 2) zeus has got it all wrong, he's like "OMG EWWW can you believe he SOUGHT OUT his own mother to fuck her?? that this PERVERT wanted to fuck his own MOTHER all along?! DISGOSTANG!!" like mate that's REALLY NOT how that happened! and 3) zeus buddy, you're having a tantrum about the concept of incest to your sister-wife........

you know what never gets old? statius describing the activities of the furies' snake hair. the snakes get thirsty! they get sleepy! they get excited! amazing.

MAN how the beginning of book 2 drew me in. we're dropped straight into the action with hermes on an important mission heading out of the underworld, we have no idea what's going on but it's SO atmospheric, it's SO intriguing, and we have to follow his tracks to see where the narrative is going with it. THIS STORYTELLING FEELS SO MODERN

there's a CURSED NECKLACE that i really thought would play more into the plot. i mean it's there to emanate bad vibes, i guess, and indirectly influence things. i'm just not used to full-on CURSED ARTIFACTS in my epics

tydeus' stint as an emissary is hilarious, i'm still not over it. when he loses his cool and basically yells at eteocles "WELL YOU'RE THE SPAWN OF INCEST!!" when he's there ON BEHALF of the other spawn of incest......... tydeus you're SO bad at this

OOOOUGH TYDEUS FIGHTING BACK THE AMBUSH AT THE SPHINX' ROCK IS SO SEXY AND HORRIFYING OMGGG. hang on i gotta go reread that now...

...fucking hell, it's so good. IT'S SO GOOD!!!! it's my new favourite aristeia in any of these epics, from the first cheap shot that almost gets him in the jugular, to the clambering up the rock, and his shield BRISTLING with enemy spears which he pulls out and uses against them, and not to mention how it shows just how fucking EXHAUSTED he gets once the initial adrenaline rush is through

man, statius is so excellent at realistic physiology. like the detailed descriptions of how the runners at the funeral games warm up, how their muscles feel doing this or that... statius obviously knows so many things firsthand

also love how from there on out tydeus lies about the ambush. honey you killed forty-nine guys, not fifty, and you know it!! it's impressive enough, you don't need to round up

i wish athena would play a bigger part as she's taking tydeus as her champion and everything. she's probably the MOST unknowable of all the gods in the thebaid, she rarely speaks directly to anyone, and is kinda only present for her core scenes in the myth. tell me what you're thinking about babe...

we get way more of that "UH OH YOU'RE A GOD'S FAVOURITE, THIS ISN'T GONNA END WELL" with apollo's love for amphiaraus, though. i appreciate that

while we're on the gods, i'm also VERY weak for how openly ares simps for aphrodite. when she jumps in front of his horses to stop him and there's this lovely passage where he rushes from the chariot to take her in his arms and comfort her... awww. and then it's kinda wild when he's like "darling you're my only respite from war"... ares babe, you LOVE war!

there are several suicides in this story, and each one is surprisingly disturbing in its own way, but maeon though??? guy went out with IMMENSE STYLE and INTEGRITY. respect

statius is really good about chronology (since the theban war happens before the iliad-aeneid-odyssey) EXCEPT at one point someone throws a big rock (hippomedon maybe? i can't remember) like polyphemus threw boulders at odysseus and i'm like NO THAT HASN'T HAPPENED YET. ODYSSEUS IS A BOY IN ITHACA AT THIS POINT

i didn't expect to love parthenopaeus so much!! he's a BOY who's snuck off to war, he's glorious but he doesn't understand the consequences! that's a still-developing brain in there!!! when he's killed, EVEN THE ENEMIES GRIEVE FOR HIM, aaaaah! and statius keeps using him as a symbol of how meaningless the war is, and he's a proto-achilles (proto-neoptolemus?) in so many ways and it just KILLS ME

the whole nemea section is sooooo weird. and i GET that it's meant to be weird, that it's part of this whole campaign's WRONGNESS but it's... it's weird. like WHY does their entire army get involved in this place's family and history and politics? why do they get DELAYED FROM WAR eagerly listening to a nurse talking about the massacre of lemnos? why would she put the baby on the ground and leave it? what's UP with that snake? why do they have these MAJOR FUNERAL GAMES OF MILITARY PROWESS for a random dead royal infant? it's so weirddddd

the funeral games in themselves are great fun actually. and that only makes it worse because the next day the battles start and EVERYONE STARTS GETTING KILLED. the vibes turn on a DIME here

there are so many references to heracles that i can't appreciate because i'm clueless about heracles. i should fix that.

i cackled SO HARD at how statius reveals tydeus' cannibalism. that perspective change?? how athena is watching his comrades trying to WREST the decapitated head from him like he's a dog chewing on plastic? oh gosh it's amazing

AND i love how eteocles USES TYDEUS' CANNIBALISM AS A POINT OF PROPAGANDA. he's SO good at painting the entire enemy force as savages because would you believe even one of their fucking LEADERS chomped on theban brains!! THEY'RE HERE TO EAT US UNLESS WE FIGHT

also. also way later when we're told tydeus' wife's love for him is SO GREAT that she even managed to forgive him for that final taboo... do you know who else forgave him for that? INSTANTLY, without a moment's doubt? who was even impressed with him for it because he's fucked up like that? POLYNICES. his love for tydeus goes unremarked but statius sure implies...

i'm not deeply invested in gore but statius is VERY good at describing gore. he's definitely more... structured about battles than homer is though (two leaders dying per chapter, chosen for maximum contrast and effect, etc), to the point where towards the end of the fighting i was getting hungry for something else

the weirdest quirk of statius is how he will reuse names all the time? if there's a random argive background character you can almost bet that there's a random theban background character with that exact name -- i guess to make a point how similar they truly are -- but in a book that shit gets CONFUSING.

the night raid is clearly based on the iliad's night raid except everyone's more twisted and making worse choices, and i appreciate that. then while the heroes are doing awful dishonorable stuff, you get the lowly squires of tydeus and parthenopaeus sneaking off to steal their corpses back and being ACTUALLY HEROIC! oh the contrast is delicious

when statius interrupts his own storytelling to beg the muses to MAKE HIM MORE MENTALLY UNHINGED for the next part he's going to tell?? this man is GIVING IT ALL to tell you this story properly. i love you statius

polynices and eteocles' final duel is the CLIMAX we've been waiting for the entire epic and it's perfect. oh they're equally horrible and they're equally interesting and ohh yummy yummy this storytelling

i would have been fine if the story ended on the battlefield. i understand the "mini epic" in the final chapter as a way to contrast the whole thing ("look at theseus being an ACTUAL epic hero!") but it is a bit of a major vibe shift in the final round

and then it ends with statius pondering if people will enjoy this story after he's dead? :'-) i'm heeeere i'm reading it love it! it's still so great don't worry!!

[cheesybadgers]

Narcos Fic: Old Habits Die Hard (Chap. 24)

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Chapter 10, Chapter 11, Chapter 12, Chapter 13, Chapter 14, Chapter 15, Chapter 16, Chapter 17, Chapter 18, Chapter 19, Chapter 20, Chapter 21, Chapter 22, Chapter 23

Read on AO3

Masterlist

Pairing: Javier Peña x Horacio Carrillo

Words: 3,440

Summary: It's been 15 years since Horacio and Javier brought down Gacha in Tolú, and now they're back where their story began.

Warnings: 18+ ONLY. Brief allusions to period-typical prejudices/politics/legislation, very brief sexual references, smoking, swearing, all the fluff.

Notes: Well....I feel like I should post this with a fanfare or something (just imagine there's one playing), but oh boy, oh man, oh god. I did it. I flipping did it 😭 It's only taken 36 months, copious amounts of blood, sweat and tears, a deranged amount of research, the last shred of my sanity, and probably a fair amount of back/neck pain from sitting at my laptop for too long to get here. But hey, if I don't write a self-indulgent novel-length fix-it fic for a criminally underrated rarepair from a defunct TV show, WHO WILL, I ASK THEE? 😂

I can't fully explain the journey this fic has taken me and my writing on, or the deep love I have in my heart for this ship and the OHDH universe that has lived constantly in my head these last few years. Even when I'm not actively writing, so many things remind me of these two everywhere I go. They got me through the darkest days of the pandemic and somehow became my comfort ship, despite er, certain canon events we don't talk about in this house.

Anyway, I think you've all heard quite enough from me for the time being. So, I will just say thank you so, so, so much to anyone who has read, commented, kudosed, reblogged, liked, sent me messages, made me things, suggested music recs, generally been incredibly supportive and kind ❤️

And thank you to anyone who may stumble across this fic in future. Please never be afraid to leave a comment, even if you're reading several years down the line, I will always love to hear from people about this story.

There will also be some moodboards and playlists posted on my Tumblr at some point (and *maybe* some new - much shorter lol - fics eventually) once I've caught my breath back a bit.

For the final time (unless I randomly think of anything I've forgotten, which is more than likely lol), I’ve also added to my OHDH trivia post to cover this chapter if anyone is interested.

Chapter 24: Suerte (Epilogue)

Early evening rays painted the pastel horizon, their last act of the day transforming the shimmering ocean into an inky palate of fuchsia, violet and saffron, the golden sands at the shore still warm to the touch hours past dusk.

Come the weekend, Colombians would travel far and wide to descend on the many beaches, bars and restaurants that dotted the waterfront. Or if they were feeling adventurous, they would birdwatch, dive off the Islas de San Bernardo, or canoe amongst the mangroves.

But it was mid-week and mid-December – when most locals were at work and school or preparing for Christmas. So, for now, Horacio and Javier had the place to themselves.

There was the added bonus of the coastline turning into a dense forest of palm trees just along from their beach house, civilisation a mile or so away on either side of them, so even at peak times, they remained secluded. It had become a daily ritual to luxuriate in the peace and quiet; a pre-dinner swim with no trunks required followed by entwined limbs and sand in their hair as the sun went down.

Today was no exception, the gentle lapping of the waves around them and their shallow breaths the only sounds to be heard, the taste of salt and scent of sun lotion heavy in the air and on their skin as Horacio rocked into Javier, slow and deep, their chests and foreheads drawn together.

It was almost dark when Javier switched on the shower taps, cascading soothing jets over his head, neck and shoulders. As he soaked his hair, the lights from inside the beach house sprung to life, illuminating the outdoor bathroom with an ambient glow. It was a feature of the premium accommodation they had splashed out on, a rare treat away for a special occasion.

The outside space was a mix of wood, tiles and natural stone for the walls and floors, encased by tall plants and trees for extra privacy. A double shower stood on a platform at the end of a walkway, with a large hot tub branching off in the other direction. On their first night here, they had opted for the tub, surrounding it with candles as a belated ode to Día de las Velitas, lost in each other beneath the bubbles and the stars.

A sturdy embrace enveloped Javier from behind, a position they had found themselves in every morning by the shore before breakfast, looking out to a tranquil sea and a kaleidoscopic sky. The day jobs kept them both on their feet and in good shape, although there was more softness around their stomachs, and Javier was stockier than in his younger years. But his upper body was even broader with muscle now.

He was no gym fiend, but he had accompanied Horacio in some of his strengthening training, wanting to keep his stamina up as much as possible. Not just for the obvious but because he was sometimes required to carry the heavier supplies at work and didn’t want to be shown up in front of his largely youthful team.

It was a welcome development to Horacio, whatever the reason. Not that he ever had any complaints before, but watching Javier blossom as he aged was a wonder to behold. Not to mention, there was more of him to enjoy now.

As for Horacio, aside from the sloping curve of his midriff, he was sheer jaguar strength. Not only in the noticeable places, but his core muscles were in peak condition, the daily horse riding improving his posture and taking him back to the drill commands of his cadet years. His skin was more weathered, and his days of being meticulously cleanly shaven at all times were long gone. But Javier assured him – a lot – the ruggedness was part of the appeal.

Javier wasn’t one to talk either, stubble being a more regular feature alongside his moustache nowadays. But that was mainly due to lack of time in his busy schedule rather than preference, so it wasn’t unheard of for Horacio to do the honours for him. For some reason, Horacio delicately scraping a razor blade across his jaw from the comfort of his lap was far more appealing to Javier than doing it himself in front of the bathroom mirror.

Their hair contained more grey patches, especially around the temples, which was easier to hide when they grew it longer. That wasn’t practical during the sweltering heat of a Texan summer, so they kept it shorter in the hotter months. But in the winter, they could run their fingers through choppy waves and coils of curls to their hearts’ content. And luckily for them, their anniversary fell in December.

“Can you believe it’s been 15 years to the day?” Horacio asked, scattering kisses across Javier’s back.

“This doesn’t even feel like the same fucking place, to be honest.”

“Tell me about it.”

Horacio let out a huff as flashbacks of leading his men on a fleet of raiding crafts towards Gacha’s hideout collided with memories from merely days ago of him and Javier island hopping in a hire boat along the same waters. They had taken a platter of fresh seafood and fruit, exploring the remotest beaches and lagoons, where their only company was the local wildlife.

He could still remember the sensation of the blood at his temple as he lay disorientated on the sand in the aftermath of the explosion, a stark contrast to dozing together under the shade of a palm tree or reading aloud to each other the words of Lorca, Gaitán Durán, Arbeláez, Neruda, Paz, Castellanos and Mistral.

“Although, I did notice signs for the barracks towards Coveñas when we were driving here,” Horacio added with a nostalgic smirk.

“Oh yeah? You didn’t want another night there for old times’ sake?” Javier tilted his head until he found Horacio’s lips with his teeth.

Horacio hummed and put up no resistance, his wet hands sailing with ease down Javier’s body, finding purchase at his hip bones. “It was tempting. But I figured you’d want to make the most of this before Christmas.”

“Damn right.”

They took turns massaging shampoo into each other’s scalps, lathering the suds through thick spirals, tenderly pulling at strands until they purred, thoroughly indulging in the sensation whilst they had the chance. And then they did it all again, rinsing off the soap, floating away on the meditative pressure of the faucet and their fingers.

“We could always see if Alejandra has more spa freebies if it gets too much, though,” Javier suggested through the haze of steam now cocooning them.

“I like your thinking.”

It had been a while since they last used such tickets, their previous visits not dissimilar to how their current vacation was playing out. But despite the chaos that would no doubt ensue, they were looking forward to catching up with Horacio’s side of the family. Between expanding businesses in Texas and Manizales and the oldest half of the brood living and working elsewhere now with the twins staying at home studying, they didn’t get to meet up as much as they would have liked.

However, Elena visited Laredo several times, swapping life stories and recipes with Chucho and joining Horacio and Javier in San Antonio one spring for the Fiesta. Her last holiday outside of Colombia had been before Alejandra and Horacio were born, so she was determined to take advantage of having family abroad before age finally caught up with her. There had even been discussions of a trip to Madrid if Horacio and Javier could arrange cover at work the following year.

“Pops is flying out on the 20th, right?”

“Yes. Marco and Raúl are covering the ranch and animals until your father’s back on the 28th. And Jorge is covering the farm until we’re home from Miami in the New Year.”

No one was keen to leave Luna, Sol and Leo, who had long since retired from ranch duties, but between work and Christmas commitments, Connie taking a full-time job in a different hospital, now Olivia was a teenager going on 30, and the earlier-than-expected arrival of Felipe’s and Juana’s second child – Óscar, a little brother to Claudia – New Year was the only time everyone’s schedules matched up.

These days, Luna, whose main residence was the cottage now, Sol and Leo spent most of their time nestled on furniture or looking for treats in the kitchen whenever food was prepared. However, Luna would sometimes still ride in the back of Horacio’s truck and keep him company in the lower fields.

Kira and Fuego had become old pros, showing their younger siblings, Cielo and Tierra, the ropes, not as replacements to the trio but as a new team with their own quirks and personalities. Thankfully, the dogs and Coco had taken well to the pair of barn cats, Churro and Tamale, who patrolled the outbuildings and dealt with any rodent intruders.

Meanwhile, Chucho showed few signs of slowing down, except one summer when he twisted an ankle, and even that was hard work to get him to rest. But he had been happy to step back from some of his more physically demanding responsibilities in recent years, trusting that the ranch and farm were in capable hands. With their expansion plans a resounding success – plus some new ones up their sleeves – he had become more involved in the business side of the operation alongside Miguel.

And, of course, he was always happy to offer Horacio advice whenever needed. But for the most part, he left him to it since Félix’s retirement, preferring to arrange for the guesthouses to be refurbished or to deliver fresh batches of cooking to aid workers and exhausted arrivals alike on the frontline of the border.

“Bet Jorge was as thrilled about that arrangement as my team.”

“Well, we can always delegate to our deputies whenever necessary. One of the perks of being promoted.”

It had taken Horacio five years under Félix’s watchful eye – and decades of experience – to be granted the title of farm manager. Then, Félix had retired the previous year, satisfied he had picked the right man as his successor and Jorge as deputy.

Horacio still had plenty to learn and likely always would with the constant conveyor belt of change to farming methods and technology that landed on his desk each month. However, there was a sense of familiarity with certain parts of the job, like the meetings, the paperwork, and the budget constraints. Except, this time, it all came without the funerals, the upper echelons of the CNP breathing down his neck, and the crushing weight of a country’s future on his shoulders.

“And a holiday on the Caribbean coast was necessary, was it?” Now that Javier’s hair was free from sand and shampoo, he turned to face Horacio, their lips almost touching.

Horacio nodded sagely and closed the gap. “A critical business need.”

------------------------------------------------------

Once dried off, they lay in a hammock in matching white towel robes under the thatched porch of their beach house with a perfect view of the sea, moon and stars.

“So, you like it here?” Horacio asked after a comfortable silence.

“It’s beautiful. I’m glad we came back – to see it how it’s meant to be.”

“Me too. Although, I fear violence will always be a parasite latched onto Colombia. Just when you think it’s gone from one place, it rears its head again in another. Or even the same place twice if you’re unlucky.”

Horacio remembered the stories he had heard from Trujillo in the last couple of years – particularly about Operation Orion. Officially, the incursion on Comuna 13 had been a success by the Colombian military against the likes of FARC. Unofficially, however, there were rumours of a leaked CIA report, disappeared individuals, and collusion between an Army General and none other than Don Berna’s subordinate. It was hard to keep faith that Medellín would ever be free from its past when history had such a predictable habit of repeating itself.

“I know. It feels like one step forward and two steps back in the States, too. Terrorism might be the new bogeyman, but re-branding to ICE and throwing a shitload of money at the DHS hasn’t stopped the drugs and the people finding their way over the border.”

Javier had heard directly from Steve about the shift in his job role since 9/11. Overnight, Steve’s whole department was removed from their current caseloads and signed up for every counter-terrorism and narco-terrorism course under the sun. It was now customary for DEA agents to be redeployed to the FBI as intelligence analysts if resources required. And if their eyes and ears were pulled away from the drug traffickers, it didn’t take a genius to figure out the consequences.

Meanwhile, in Texas, if anything, people only took graver risks in the wake of a beefed-up Border Patrol. Javier had spent a lot of the past year helping to set up new aid teams in Arizona and New Mexico, the inhospitable conditions of the desert not enough of a deterrent to stop families trying their luck or handing over their life savings to coyotes who didn’t care whether they made it across alive.

“But small things can add up to change. Bit by bit,” Javier added. “And at least they can’t arrest us for fucking in our own home anymore.”

“True. Not that the law stopped us before...” Horacio nuzzled against Javier’s neck before making a move to get up.

They may have joked in the here and now, but it wasn’t a change they took for granted. In fact, Luz and Carla had even persuaded Javier to attend a protest or two and pay bond and legal fees for those who had been arrested. After all, he’d had plenty of experience exchanging money for people’s freedom.

When news of the Supreme Court decision spread, it was another weight off their backs and one less reason to look over their shoulders, a chance to permanently put to bed memories of being spied on during such unguarded sacred moments. It was the final line to be drawn under those dark years, not to erase them because that was impossible. But it was, at least, closure.

Their cigarette was almost done, and Horacio had left the opened pack on the kitchen counter. Once retrieved, he took out another and leaned into Javier across the hammock, pressing the tip of his unlit cigarette against the lit one until it sparked.

“But you’re right,” Horacio continued, holding Javier’s gaze between exhaling a plume of smoke. He balanced on the edge of the hammock, just enough to stop it tipping sideways. “Things can change. But only if we want them to.” He perched their new cigarette between his lips as he reached into the pocket of his robe.

Their first cigarette was little more than a stub, so Javier stooped down to the ashtray on the floor to extinguish it. Once he sat up again, a small cubed box was presented into his spare hand.

Javier stared at the black box and blew out remnants of smoke, eyeing Horacio with an unreadable expression, an unspoken question and answer lingering between them and the mist of tobacco.

He prised open the box to reveal a ring of plain silver. Or, so he thought at first glance. But as he raised it towards the moon, the iridescent light caught on the inner band to reveal an inscription.

Suerte que encontré a mi media naranja.

(Lucky that I found my soulmate.)

“Fuck, Horacio…” Javier’s voice was strained, and his words came out as little more than a whisper. He held the ring between his thumb and forefinger, letting the ethereal reflection from above capture each word.

Horacio watched every shift in Javier’s face with bated breath and a dry throat, his limbs lead and weightless all at once.

“The world’s changing around us,” Horacio said at last; swallowing his nerves and summoning his courage. “But no matter what the law or courts say in any state or country, this can mean whatever we want it to mean.”

Javier’s jaw worked back and forth, his teeth clamping down on the inside of his cheeks. But it was no use, and he let out a trembling scoff, an attempt to distract from the shining pupils he finally confronted Horacio with.

And then a broad smile crept across Javier’s features, his palm connecting with Horacio’s cheek before he plucked the cigarette from his fingers and took a drag. “Pass me my jeans.”

It took Horacio a moment to process Javier’s request. Of all the responses he had prepared for – the good and the bad – that hadn’t been on his list, funnily enough. With narrowed eyes and pursed lips, he complied and fetched the jeans that had been flung over a sun lounger when they stripped off to swim earlier. Apparently, regardless of how humid the climate in Tolú became, denim remained a reliable staple of Javier’s wardrobe.

“Check my left pocket.”

Whatever Javier was up to, Horacio was torn between intrigue and irritation at Javier’s temerity to issue orders despite leaving him hanging. But he did as he was told, and in an instant, everything made sense.

“I can always take it back if you’d prefer…”

But Horacio was already opening the near-identical box, and any teasing faded to white noise as he came face-to-face with the gold equivalent of his own proposal.

“Hold it up to the light.”

The night sky was brighter now, making it easier for the inscription to be revealed.

Mi amor, mi vida, mi hogar, mi vaquero. Siempre tuyo.

(My love, my life, my home, my cowboy. Yours always.)

It was Javier’s turn to observe, and it didn’t take long for Horacio to raise a brow in his direction, shooting him a look of feigned exasperation that only came with the territory of a relationship as enduring as theirs.

“What?” Javier said with disingenuous innocence and a vulpine smile.

It was a contagious kind of smile, one that reminded Horacio they were equals in this and that he shouldn’t have been surprised Javier had the same idea.

“I take it my mother showed you her ring?”

“On my first visit to Manizales. It was beautiful. And so’s this.”

“As is this.”

“I like to think I put my own spin on it.”

“You did.”

They sat side-by-side on the hammock, legs facing towards each other with the rings held in their outstretched hands.

Javier’s thumb slid across Horacio’s left palm, tracing patterns over new callouses born from hard labour rather than war. He circled his wrist, waiting for the familiar rhythm but finding a beat that was, unsurprisingly, drumming quicker than usual.

After subduing with his touch, Javier retrieved the gold band, gliding it carefully onto Horacio’s ring finger, easing it over the knuckle until it rested snugly at the base.

They sat transfixed, marvelling at the light dancing across it as Horacio’s thumb ran back and forth over the curved surface in fascination.

Horacio repeated the ritual of mapping Javier’s left hand, lacing their fingers together as a tangible reminder of their bond. Their devotion. Their vow. Their choice. Whether the law honoured it one day or not.

He picked up the silver to his gold, shimmying it along Javier’s ring finger and passing beyond the slight resistance at his knuckle. Not too much force, but firm enough for it to sink perfectly into place.

With palms connected and fingers interlocked, their foreheads met, chests rising and falling in tandem.

“Te amo tanto, Javier.”

“Yo también te amo. Tanto, Horacio. Tanto.” Javier whispered, over and over in Horacio’s ear like a prayer – their prayer – before brushing his lips above Horacio’s brow, the bridge of his nose, both cheeks and down to his mouth, creating their own sign of the cross with each kiss. A new beginning and a welcome home.

They untied their robes and collapsed onto the hammock in a tangle of limbs, silver and gold melding at their chests and hands; their past, present and future as inseparable as their hearts, bodies and souls.

With one smooth motion, Horacio pinned Javier’s arms down into the netting of the hammock, a dark, hungry gaze passing between them as cool metal fused with hot skin.

15 years and several lifetimes may have gone by. But when Horacio had the man he loved, the man who loved him, his media naranja, underneath him, only one word ran through his head. Mine.

Old habits die hard, he supposed.

[technicalknockout]

HEY! I FOUND OK KO CRUMBS!!

I was gonna make a post about it but I cba but still wanted to share it!

So I found Iggy Craig's (one of the storyboard artists for the show) portfolio website, can't really remember how, I go on weird tangents with Google searches sometimes, and it has loads of storyboards and design work of theirs on there. It's really cool early pre-production stuff really appeals to me.

There's a lot of this stuff for the Fionna and Cake episodes and Distant Lands, and OK KO! A lot of the storyboards to look through.

I've seen some animatics for episodes before but the boards here are the much earlier versions of the episodes, and some bits are different and it's really interesting and cool. Especially since I've got lines of the episodes memorised so it's cool to spot the differences.

I haven't looked at everything yet, I don't have the time haha but I looked at the boards for Let's Fight To The End, and there's quite a big difference!

The storyboards detail a longer scene of K.O. being stuck in the subconscious at the start of the episode. I took a couple screenshots.

I really like it. I'm guessing the main reason it was cut was for time. How it was handled in the episode was just a quick version of this.

Also here's a link to the boards Tumblr says the link isn't "complete" so sorry if it doesn't work or doesn't show up just search up Iggy Craig and find their page.

There's also this site called Slideshare.Net which I think all of these boards are being uploaded from, and on that site there's also boards from Ryann Shannon and Danny Ducker. There's the boards from LFTTE where TKO disempowers everyone and they disintegrate instead of lay on the ground. (As well as other episode stuff too)

I don't know how interesting all this really is to people and if it isn't I apologize haha. I just have a fascination with storyboards and animatics for cartoons and paired with OK KO I love it even more.

OH MY GOD THANK YOUUUUU I love these kinds of stuff so much you have no idea how hard im screaming rn.. new ok ko boards auhgjfkgnfjfksnd

Theres something so appealing about storyboards.. I like animated stuff but storyboards!! They're a whole thing!! It's like im looking at the building blocks of an episode!!! Cut storyboards feel like another universe's version of it where different writing decisions were made (imagining lftte as a 40 minute special rn) and spotting lines or scenes that didn't make it into the final product is really interesting. Plus looking at storyboards makes me feel like im a little gremlin digging thru someone's treasure pile and indeed i do giggle annoyingly when i find them

Anyways thanks again for sending me these !!!! youve extended my lifespan by approximately a thousand years

+ no joke i have literally been looking EVERYWHERE for the tko actually murders everyone boards since they mentioned it in the twitter ama. I am eternally in your debt

[pigeonwhumps]

🫁 for Phoenix. (Laughs evilly)

"I need to do a cricothyroidotomy," says Aaron, adjusting the IV line. "Eyes on my face, Phoenix, I need to start. Eyes on me, yeah?"

Phoenix looks up into Aaron's face and blinks. His eyes are very brown, eyebrows furrowed. All wavering. They can't breathe, god, they can't breathe, they try automatically and all they can do is choke on blood, oh god, they've already died multiple times they don't want to die again, but they can't–

"Eyes on me. Injection's done, I'm starting to cut, eyes on me, you'll be fine. Squeeze this, stay still, eyes on me."

Phoenix's hand feels blindly until they find... something, squeezing and squeezing and squeezing, trying to ignore the 'not breathing' part of things. But they can't breathe, they can't breathe, there's blood everywhere, it smells metallic and they're choking on it, all they get is blood, they can't breathe oh god they're dying, they're going to die again, it's over and over and it won't stop because they can't get the blood out, they can't–

"Phoenix! I need you to stay calm. I'm here for you, we're going to get you breathing, but you need to calm down. Squeeze the ball, concentrate on me, look at me, Phoenix. You'll be okay. Stay still, try and calm down, I know it's hard but you're going to be okay."

Phoenix tries. They look up at Aaron and just about see him, vision blurred and greying, squeezing less than before. They try to concentrate on staying still, not the blood, not their mouth that hurts so much, it's agonising, not– not–

There's a strange feeling in their windpipe, like something's being pushed inside. It feels weird and wrong and they don't like it.

They can't move. They can't take it out. Their windpipe doesn't hurt so much but everything else does and they can't even move. It's easier to breathe now but god, it hurts. They gasp, trying to gulp in air, that doesn't work, and then it feels weird and tastes kind of metallic but there's air, there's air, oh god there's air. It's much further down than they're used to but they can breathe again, they can do it, there's air and everything's not quite so fuzzy anymore.

Hurts, though. It's okay, they've had worse.

"You've got it Phoenix. You're doing it, you're okay, keep your eyes on me and keep breathing. It's just me here, you're doing well. Focus on me."

Phoenix tries to obey, gripping the sides of the bed for balance, the cold grounding them.

"That's good. You're doing well. The next thing we need to do is splint your broken bones, before they heal wrong and we have to rebreak them. I'll give you morphine through your IV, and another injection of lidocaine, that should help with the pain. I need to wire your jaw, it'll be scary but given your healing factor it shouldn't be for long. Okay? You're getting there, Phoenix, you're doing really well. Focus on me, try to stay calm."

Phoenix tries, they really do. They can breathe now, that's good, it's not breathing through their mouth but it's still air. But as Aaron turns to fetch the wire, Phoenix panics. The only reason they don't thrash is that some part of their brain knows that it would be a bad idea to knock the IV out. Aaron won't be pleased with them and he might punish them, or stop giving them painkillers.

Why is he giving them painkillers again? They don't need them. They don't need them to be gentle, it's weird.

"Try to calm down. It's okay, Phoenix, you're going to be okay. You don't need to look so disbelieving at the painkillers, y'know? Squeeze this as hard as you can. It won't be wired for long. You'll have to eat liquid food, but it's okay, I promise. Let's get this done before you heal wrong."

And Phoenix... they shut down. There's wire and what looks like pliers and Aaron's going to feed them and give them painkillers, and they can't cope. They're terrified and they don't understand, and they just... shut down completely.

The world is fuzzy, their heart pounding, everything seems far away. It's all... wrong.

They'll understand at some point, maybe. But not now. Not when they're not even here.

They don't know where they are. But it's not here.

Taglist: @extrabitterbrain @wolfeyedwitch @whumpinggrounds @painful-pooch