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meteor752 · 6 months

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Episode 6 and 7 thoughts

This will now be a regular thing

Also im writing this as I go

Episode 6

So Izzy thought Ed was Roach. Huh. Does he and Roach talk regularly? <- Coming from a Rizzy shipper

“Do weeeee?” Fang I love you

Oh my god, Frenchie and Jim coming to Ed and Stede like they’re kids asking if their cousins can sleep over

The crew going shoppiiiiiiiiing!!!

Frenchie’s lil dancey dance added many years to my life

Ed being nice and giving kids mon- oh never mind, oh that’s a knife okay. Ed never have kids please

“Don’t pirate kids” well listen okay I don’t have HBO Max it’s the only way I can watch this show

MY QUEEN

Wee John you’re so beautiful and amazing and we don’t deserve you

Jim’s lil mustache, like yeah me too <- Non-Binary person

Stede looks so happy about seeing Wee John!! He’s so proud of his son!

Izzy is gorgeous. I’m actually so happy to see him explore more sides of himself, and to find things he can indulge in. This whole season has really just been Izzy’s big therapy arc

His hair makes him look a bit like Cinderella’s evil stepmother though

Oh he can sing too! Izzy!!! <- A person who did not like Izzy in season one

Wee John X Izzy? Roach X Fang?

YO THE

POLYCULE DANCING?!

Ed protecting Stede….just, immediately putting him behind himself…I just…

I rewatched that clip five times

“Because I only hang out with cool pirates” Stede’s face!!! He’s just like Oh Snapppp

Despite it all, Stede and Ed are still the cutest couple that has ever graced the TV screen. Like hell yeah, make fun of people together!

Ed keeps being protective…..okay I need a moment…

Roach you’re a lunatic and I love you

“Whatever this is it’s just gonna turn me on” Izzy you’re a shining star

Also I just now noticed that Black Pete and Lucius aren’t there. I’m guessing they eloped somewhere and are currently taking care of their adopted cat

Nope okay, literally the second I unpaused there they are. That’s the worst timing

Hell yeah my dudes, I hope you broke whatever bed you used

“I’m just doing it for the lolz” Yeah that’s sounds like something someone from the 1700s would say

I know this is a pirate ship but why do they just have so many knives and swords laying about

Who is this fanged torture queen, and how do I acquire her number?

Stede remains best employer, while Aziraphale is the best landlord. Can these two people just run the world please and thank you

Hell Cat Maggie is my soulmate

I feel like there needs to be a pirate workers union

The crew of the revenge is the best found family of all time

Stede Bonnet can rival Steven Universe in reforming villains, like he’s just such a genuinely nice dude

“Alright gang! Let’s talk profit sharing”

Oh protective Stede, alright let’s go mate defend your mans

Okay but why is Stede kinda 👀 in this scene

Oh Stede, love…

OH THEY FAWHKING

That French? Izzy speaks french?

I want to see that man get dicked down

I guess the revenge now has a pet goat

Episode 7

Okay Ed is a soft boy again, aight

NO NOT THE LEATHER JACKET

The anime toast in mouth thing. He’s officially been baby girl for a long while, but we’re really solidifying it

OH THEY FUCKED

Isn’t there an anime where a mob boss becomes a house wife? Yeah that’s Ed

Oh we’re telling him about the mermaid fantasy, okay

Izzy what the fuck, you’re amazing

“He’s jealous” my darling

The polycule is going strong, and I love the absolute lack of jealousy. This is the best representation I have ever had

Oh they’re going on a date! That’s so sweet actually

It’s really sweet that they’re talking about their time apart

Stede’s famous now? Good for him!

I need to stop falling in love with every pirate lady In this show. That being said, I hope we see more of the fangirl lady

I’m reinforcing my claim that Stede and Ed are cuter than anything that has ever been on screen

OH MY GOD SWEDE

The Söt Och Saftig, my love. Also this far in and this is the first time the character “The Swede” actually says something in Swedish

Scammer Frenchie is back in business, love that

Jim and Archie trying to get their boyfriend set up is very sweet actually

The character development of Izzy going from wanting Ed to remain “Blackbeard” to him saying if being a softie makes him happy then he should do that, like I get it now, I know why you all love this man

OH MY FUCKING GOD STEDE

Can’t believe Stede is an official Slut now

Open communication? Like genuine conversation about their relationship, and the pace they’re taking it? Ed being honest that he’s not ready for the steps they’re taking in their relationship?

What is this argument

I live for Lucius and Black Pete’s nicknames for each other

“I’ve only known you for a few hours Bonnet, but I’d fucking die for ya” Same random dude. Same

Izzy🥹

Zheng and Olu are really cute actually

Oh my god the polycule will end my fucking life

DONT BRING ED INTO THIS ZHENG

“That was really mean” YOU TELL HER STEAK KNIFE

Protective Jim my beloved

Oh my god

Roach and Fang friendship?

Roach is the queen of self care

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yellowspiralbound · 9 months

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The Witcher & why fanon and canon are not as separate as they are in other medias

Okay so I just answered and reblogged this poll about what parts of the Witcher you interact with (fanon vs canon) and it made me realize that a lot of fans might not be aware of the fact that fanon and canon are not neatly seperated when it comes to the Witcher. It’s kind of a clusterfuck actually. So allow me to attempt to explain it. Before the post, let me make sure everyone understands that I am referencing the translations of the books. I have not read them in the original Polish. If anyone has and some of what I say is inaccurate, please let me know. Extremely long post ahead.

First, we have to accept the fact that we are working with not one but three different canons. The books are, of course, the original canon. It is what everything else stems from. The games are often considered a follow up but are not necessarily canon to the books and were not intended to be. The original Witcher game was never intended to be a sequel to the books - that’s why Yennefer and Ciri are basically never mentioned. However, as the second and third game developed, the creators shifted gears and focused on creating a cohesive story set after the events of the books, Now, many if not most fans forget this. Then there is the show canon, which draws from the books but is largely it’s own thing.

So what is the “real” canon? For some, the answer is anything written by Sapkowski...but there are stories set on the Continent and written by Sapkowski that are, by and large, considered superfluous to canon such as the Something Ends, Something Begins short story which Sapkowski wrote as a wedding gift for some friends. Beyond that, there is debate as to whether Sapkowski’s final depiction of Geralt is well...Geralt. While many book fans tend to believe that the Geralt met by Nimue at the end of Season if Storms is an illusion, I have spoken with many who believe it to be the real Geralt. So which is it? Sapkowski certainly hasn’t said as far as I am aware, so good luck figuring it out. And if Sapkowski’s work is the be all end all of canon...what are the games?

Are they a form of fanon that Sapkowski has given his blessing to? Nope. Sapkoski hates video games. Like there are decisions he made in Season of Storms (published after the first two Witcher games) that I’m fairly certain he made specifically to fuck with the game producers (like Dandelion being a blonde for example). Everything I’ve ever learned about the man suggests he would do this. And yet Season of Storms also hands the game producers their golden goose: a Sapkowski-written ending where Geralt doesn’t die, where he continues to travel and hunt monsters. Which is exactly what Geralt did in the games. And after that Sapkowksi actually met with some of the producers for the third game, something I don’t believe he did for the first two (feel free to correct me if he did). So did Sapkowski take inspiration from the games for this ending? It’s possible. I personally don’t think it likely but we know it’s possible because of a certain character in Season of Storms: Brehen.

Brehen, for those of you who may not remember/know, is a Cat witcher that Geralt meets at the very end of Season of Storms. Now this is important, Geralt’s meeting with Brehen is the first time ever that Sapkowski insinuates there are different schools of Witchers. And you might be thinking “What about the medallions of different animals that Bonhart had?” It isn’t ever really implied they’re from different schools. Coen, who has a griffon, is shown with the wolves all the same during Blood of Elves. Of course, the game producers had already decided to take the different medallions as representations of schools but It is only when Brehen begins to use the word “us” that there is a confirmed implication of schools by Sapkowski. Is this proof that Sapkowski used the games as inspiration for Season of Storms? Not at all. What it is, is solid evidence that both the game producers and Sapkowski had been influenced by a third party: the pre-CDPR comic run.

Now, this is where things get interesting. The pre-CDPR comic run is not that well known outside of Poland (and perhaps even in Poland, I am not sure). I discovered their existence on the Witcher subreddit and promptly read the fan translations of them that you can find online. Only one of the six comics released between 1993 and 1995 is an original story. This comic, Zdrada or Betrayal, is where the story of the Cat and Wolf tournament often is from. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, go read basically any fanfiction with Aiden in it. It will more than likely be brought up. This comic is the first instance of a school system like the one we have now. Now, this comic was based on an idea by Sapkowski. He gave the author of the comic run, Maciej Parowski, a basic idea and Parowski expanded upon it. To what extent Parowski expanded the idea isn’t really known. The schools could be entirely his own invention, but it is more likely that Sapkowski suggested them. It is extremely likely, however, that Parowski’s characterization of the Cats as a school influenced Sapkowski - especially considering the 18 year gap between the publication of Zdrada and the publication of Season of Storms. So when did Parowski’s fanon interpretation of Sapkowski’s outline become canon? Did it become canon? I personally consider it canon but not everyone does.

Essentially what it boils down to is that there is a high chance that Parowski’s fanon directly influenced both Season of Storms and the Witcher games. And yes you can argue that Parowski’s work isn’t fanon because it was based on an idea by Sapkowksi but...that’s what all fanworks are - stories based on the original ideas of the author. The same can be argued about the show. Large parts of the show are Lauren Hissrich’s fanon interpretation of Sapkowski’s work yet it is a canon in its own right.

In conclusion, Sapkowski never avoided fanwork like say, Neil Gaiman. In fact, he actively encouraged it in the case of Parowski and Hissrich. Whether or not he ever encouraged the game producers in any capacity is...highly debatable. There’s some serious tension there guys. I personally think that he did with his choice in how to end Season of Storms but that’s just me. From what I know of Sapkowski, the man is, quite frankly, far too proud to ever admit to being wrong about video games and the producers so draw your own conclusions on that one.

But yeah, fanon has had a serious influence on canon in the case of the Witcher and there are so many different canons that separating the two entirely is more or less impossible. And I haven’t even talked about the pre-CDPR TTRPG, the CDPR TTRPG, the mobile gwent game, or the CDPR comic run, all of which fall into the liminal space of “not fanon but not canon either.”

Please feel free to correct me if any of this is wrong or if you have read the original Polish copies of the books and some stuff I’ve talked about is translation error. Also if anyone has a translation of the pre-CDPR TTRPG stuff please contact me. I would do unreasonable things for a translation of them and would be eternally in your debt.

#the witcher #the witcher books #the witcher games #the witcher comics #the witcher ttrpg #canon vs fanon #and the way those two intertwine when it comes to the witcher #i could probably talk about this for a lot longer #but i am tired #spiral's thoughts #media analysis #the witcher spoilers #the witcher book spoilers

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katyagrayce · 6 days

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If I had the time, and the resources, I would write an entire PhD about how Taylor Swift’s relationship with her fans has been variably represented through her songs, and how that representation has in turn shaped that relationship. And I have neither of those two things, but I do have the next-best options – a free evening and a Tumblr account. So here we go. As far as I can remember, there are only six songs where Taylor directly addresses her fans: Long Live, mirrorball, Dear Reader, and now But Daddy I Love Him, Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me? and I Can Do It With a Broken Heart. I could be missing a few, because the woman does have a 20-year career. But even so, I think it’s telling that those are the six songs that come to mind: one huge feel-good ballad released when she first made it really big; then nothing for 10 years; then two quiet songs buried in their respective albums; and then, out of the blue, three loud, unforgettable bops released at the same time. From that alone, it’s pretty clear that Taylor has something that she wants to tell her fans – whether consciously or not, something about her relationship with them is increasingly weighing on her mind. And it doesn’t take much to figure out that said relationship is changing.

In Long Live, the fans are addressed mostly as a ‘we’ – a part of a collective that also includes Taylor, her band and her team, all of them with equal status and common goals. ‘Long live the mountains we moved / I had the time of my life fighting dragons with you.’ Later, those dragons are further described, are established as factions of the general public whom the fans stand separate from, in opposition to – ‘The cynics were outraged / Saying “this is absurd”.’ Basically, Taylor’s fans are shown to be fighting for her like an army ‘on the history book page’, which is not an uncommon metaphor in pop culture. But this is where things get interesting. Because, although Taylor creates that image of the army, she doesn’t structure it in the traditional way. Her fans are not footsoldiers defending her throne – they too are ‘the kings and the queens’, the ‘heroes’, hearing their names read out and holding up trophies. And because of that – because they stand equal with Taylor – they don’t look up to her even in victory, and she doesn’t claim to be anything more than a member of their bedraggled mob. Even at their pinnacle, all that they are is ‘a band of thieves in ripped-up jeans [who] got to rule the world.’

There’s only one point in Long Live where this total equality fractures – where the ‘we’ splits into a ‘me’ and a ‘you.’ And it’s in the bridge, where, for just a moment, Taylor steps outside of the present – she imagines herself and her fans growing up in the future. ‘Promise me this / That you’ll stand by me forever / But if, God forbid, fate should step in / And force us into a goodbye / If you have children someday / When they point to the pictures / Please tell them my name.’ This is usually the part of the song where you see audiences crying, and it’s easy to tell why – because even when Taylor separates herself from the fans, even when she doesn’t explicitly share her title of ‘queen’ with them, she still portrays them as the ones with the power. She asks them to stand by her, then to remember her. Scratch that, she pleads for them to do it. She’s expressing that she needs her fans, deeply. They’re not looking to her for guidance – it’s the other way around.

Fast forward 12 years, to Dear Reader, and you wonder how the hell did we get here?

Dear Reader is the exact opposite of Long Live. The fans are never part of a ‘we’ – in fact, they don’t play an active role in the song at all. All that they are is an omnipresent but silent entity, the titular ‘readers’, who hover offscreen as Taylor sings verse after verse of advice, then spends the chorus telling them not to follow it. This is Taylor as the long-crowned queen in the history book – the ex-thief, the grown-up revolutionary, who realised at some point that no matter how equally you fought alongside your people, no matter how young and inexperienced you all were, at some point they will need a ruler and then they will all look to you. Inch by inch, you will find yourself climbing up onto the throne, and you will be alone up there. The words you speak will fall down on the subjects sitting by your feet, and their power will be absolute, even when you didn’t mean them that way – even when they don’t have any conscious meaning, are just ‘desperate prayers of a cursed man / spilling out to you for free.’ And in the end – just like before – all you can do to rebalance the power is plead. ‘Darling, darling, please / You wouldn’t take my word for it / If you knew who was talking.’

And of course, this plea is interesting in itself, because it’s also the exact opposite of the plea in Long Live. In Long Live, Taylor is asking her fans to immortalise her in the future, to pass on her memory – the underlying assumption is that they can do this because they were there with her, they know her. But here, Taylor says that her fans wouldn’t listen ‘if they knew who was talking’, which implies – well, they don’t know. They don’t know the person behind the words. Despite all the mountains they moved – all the magic they made. Despite all the games they played together, the secret sessions, the Easter eggs, the friendship bracelets. Despite the songs spilled out like confessions. Despite it, or because of it. They don’t know her. They don’t know Taylor Swift.

In Dear Reader, this concept is portrayed as tragic. There is a lot of sadness in that image of Taylor alone above the crowd, a perceived ‘guiding light’ that is actually so lonely and broken in the way it shines – which is a good segue back to an earlier song on our list, mirrorball. The metaphor there was very similar to in Dear Reader, but the plea Taylor made was more in tune with Long Live – she begged for her fans to keep standing by her, keep listening to her. ‘When they called off the circus, burnt the disco down / When they sent home the horses and the rodeo clowns / I’m still on that tightrope, I’m still trying everything / To keep you looking at me.’ Basically, in mirrorball, she begs her fans to stay with her despite the new gap growing between them; in Dear Reader, she begs them to either take a step back or take a step forward, but not to leave things as they are. And then, we get to the songs of The Tortured Poets Department. And Taylor isn’t begging anymore. If anything, she is screaming.

TTPD was marketed as Taylor’s saddest album, but to me, it’s more obviously her angriest. Rage is not a new concept in her songs, but it’s previously always been directed at very specific people – Kanye West in Look What You Made Me Do, the haters and bigots in You Need to Calm Down, Jake Gyllenhaal in We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together and I Bet You Think About Me and All Too Well (10 Minute Version). Alternatively, it’s been couched in fiction, like how the story of Rebekah Harkness couches mad woman. But in TTPD, there is no couching – the very marketing leans into how personal each song is for Taylor – and nobody is safe. For the first time, Taylor’s fans are not represented as a separate entity protecting her against the rest of the world – they themselves are a part of that roiling mass who she needs protection from. That message becomes very pointed in the third line of But Daddy I Love Him, ‘I just learnt these people only raise you / To cage you.’ That line flags the entire song as directed not towards strangers, but towards the people who have surrounded Taylor since she was 16, who have shaped her career, who claim to care about her – the army of Long Live, the audience of mirrorball, the listeners of Dear Reader. Those people are the ‘Sarahs and Hannahs in their Sunday best / Clutching their pearls, sighing “what a mess.”’ And that makes sense when you remember that it was Taylor’s fans who were most critical of her relationship with Matty Healy, and even with Travis Kelce. But it doesn’t make the song any less uncomfortable to listen to. For the first time, the ‘you’ Taylor is yelling at is actually you, and maybe that’s why she’s so unguarded and vicious in her choice of words – ‘I’ll tell you something right now / I’d rather burn my whole life down / Than listen to one more second of all this bitching and moaning.’ It also brings a new dimension to the lyrics ‘Time, doesn’t it give some perspective? / And no, you’re not coming to the wedding’. Because of course, when things are going well in Taylor’s relationships, it’s her fans who want to share in that – her fans who want to hear updates from her, like her social media posts, listen out for wedding bells. And with those lyrics, Taylor’s taking that away from them. No, you don’t get to be there for the good parts. You haven’t earnt it. You didn’t respect me when I needed it. You don’t know me that well.

And that leads, of course, to the ultimate song about Taylor’s fans not knowing her – I Can Do It With a Broken Heart. Arguably, the song doesn’t quite belong on this list, because Taylor never directly addresses her fans either as a ‘you’ or as a ‘we’. But that’s telling in itself, because it’s a song where the fans play an active role in the narrative, and yet where they only appear as a foreign, menacing entity – the crowd that sees Taylor’s ‘broken pieces shattered’ and responds by ‘chanting “more.”’ There’s been a lot of debate online about whether this song will ever be performed live, and personally, I think that it’ll be just too uncomfortable an experience. Because this song is mirrorball without the plea in it. This song is so self-reflexive, its light burns your eyes. Every single syllable of this song is designed to say what you see is not who I am, and you don’t know me, and what you think is love is killing me. And how can a crowd cheer during a performance when that’s what their cheering means? I love you, you’re falling apart for me. I love you, it’s ruining your life.

Of course, the song was written about a very specific time in Taylor’s life, and I think that’s worth emphasising for every song on this list – they all capture a specific moment, immortalise a specific emotion like fixing a bug in amber, whereas in the real world, emotions come and go. The fact that Taylor felt like this about her fans at one stage doesn’t mean she always feels Iike this about them. The fact that she was hurt and furious doesn’t mean she can’t also be grateful and warm. But what angry songs do is disrupt the assumption that everything’s okay, form a crack in the glass, introduce doubt behind every smile. You only need to see through someone once to never take them at face value again. And when that experience is immortalised in a song, it’s even harder to forget it. What angry songs do is become self-fulfilling prophecies, echoing in the fans’ heads every time they see Taylor until, eventually, some distrust is inevitable. And that’s not necessarily a bad thing – to be more aware of how the mirrorball turns, the illusion of light, the real person underneath. But it’s a change. It’s a change, and even by singing about it, Taylor is ironically making it happen.

Which brings us, finally, to possibly the angriest song Taylor’s ever written – the last song I’m going to be talking about, Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me? At first glance, this song isn’t necessarily directed at Taylor’s fans. It reuses a lot of imagery from my tears ricochet and mad woman, and it’s easy to write it off as also being about Big Machine Records or her detractors in the general public. But some of the lyrics in the bridge are very, very telling. The most obvious is ‘Put narcotics into all of my songs / And that’s why you’re still singing along.’ Then there are all the veiled references to obsessive people trying to get closer than they should be, closer than any stranger is allowed – ‘So all you kids can sneak into my house with all the cobwebs,’ ‘I’ll sue you if you step on my lawn.’ Elsewhere in the song, we also see the circus imagery of mirrorball turned threatening – ‘I was tame, I was gentle till the circus life made me mean’ – and the opening lines of But Daddy I Love Him come back, ‘You caged me and then you called me crazy / I am what I am because you trained me.’ This song has all the evolving messages about Taylor’s fans rolled into one – you don’t know me, you don’t own me, you’re ruining my life, you have no right to criticise. And then, for the first time, she says it in black-and-white – ‘You hurt me.’ No metaphors. No frills. It’s only three words, but it says volumes – You hurt me. You were meant to be on my side. We were meant to be fighting together. But, somehow, we’ve been split apart. You broke the promise I asked of you when I was 19 years old. You turned on me. And it hurts.

TTPD is an incredibly, incredibly angry album. Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me? is an incredibly, incredibly angry song. But they are also both incredibly, incredibly sad. Taylor sings ‘You should be [afraid of me]’, when, 15 years earlier, she was singing ‘I’m not afraid / We will be remembered.’ And yes, a song is just a moment in time, but a series of songs – that’s a story. It’s a life. You can play through Taylor Swift’s discography, and you’ll hear the story of a 16-year-old girl whose trust was slowly destroyed. Sure, that might be the story of most 16-year-old girls. But most of them don’t go through it in the public eye. Most of them don’t have to balance being honest against perpetuating the cycle. And most of them listen to sad songs to get them through, instead of being the one putting those sad songs out into the world. ‘You don’t get to tell me about sad,’ Taylor sings, because of course she does. We don’t have to tell her about sad. For our generation, she is one of the people who defined what it means.

~~~

(Disclaimer: This essay is not intended to deal with the actual content of any criticism Taylor received from her fans, or the question of whether that criticism was justified. I’m leaving that discourse to other people. My aim was just to explore how Taylor’s writing about her fans has changed over time, and what that tells us about their relationship and her career as a whole).

#music #taylor swift #the tortured poets department #long live #mirrorball #dear reader #but daddy i love him #i can do it with a broken heart #who’s afraid of little old me?#fandom essay #original post #sorry for the long post #but i’m really really proud of it tbh

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x--daughters-of-darkness--x · 5 months

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We’ve Got A File On You: Evanescence’s Amy Lee

I’m curious about the “Bring Me To Life” demo on this new anniversary edition of Fallen. Is this the exact version that you played for the label before they pushed for the rap part?

AMY LEE: Actually, no.

What’s the timeline on it? Where does it come from?

LEE: We did, like, at least nine demos of “Bring Me To Life.” Because they had decided this was the song that’s gonna be the first single, and we’re gonna put a whole bunch of focus on this breaking-in point. So, they just kept being like, “How about do the whole thing again, but add this?” And they were paying us. It was back in the day when people got artist development, which was actually really cool. So we kind of had to do what they said. [laughs] “OK! Whatever it takes!” We just did that demo a million times, and that one, as far as I can tell, is the last one or one of the last ones before the rap happened. They were already giving us notes at that point, but it didn’t go there. The Daredevil thing hadn’t come up, and we hadn’t had that whole new wave of, “OK, now let’s talk about this whole new idea.” So I felt like that was a good representation of us getting it all the way to another version that you’re not already pretty much hearing on the album.

You’ve been open about your fight with the label about adding a male co-vocalist, and how the guest spot that ended up on that song was the compromise. Is this version that we’re hearing now, this demo, kind of how you still think of the song in your head?

LEE: You know, actually, after all this time, playing the song a million times live, they’re never done growing. Especially when it’s a song like that. We’re always gonna play “Bring Me To Life” at a show. We want it to get better and better. We want it to be interesting. And also, you realize you have moments when the crowd does something. Make space for that. Let’s make extra space. We have a whole new part of it that’s a little bit longer, where we get everybody with their hands in the air. So when I think of the song, actually, I hear it the live way, because that’s the way I’ve heard it the most in my life. And the rap is in there, just, I do the rap, which is pretty fun. It’s not really a rap. It’s such a weird way to call it. Anyway.

A ton of people feel a very strong connection to Fallen. It’s also a snapshot of who you were at 21. Is that kind of strange, to have people feel so intimately connected to this very young version of you?

LEE: Yeah. You know, that was hard for a minute, because it was always really a stress of mine in the beginning to bring them along to the next thing. Because I love making music, and my personal quest as an artist is always about sharing more and more and more, and showing the whole picture of my heart and things that I’ve experienced, and drawing from real life. And there’s just so many colors to a human being, and to the things we experience. It would be impossible at any age to sum up your whole self in one song, or even in one album.

So that was actually my biggest reservation about the idea of having a guest vocalist on the first song, was that if this is our only chance – because that happens all the time, this is the thing that people are gonna hear and it’s all they ever hear of us, which is totally possible – I want our first thing to be the best possible representation. That’s why there’s so much pressure on a first entrance single. It’s like, I have to show you who I am as completely as possible, for a million reasons. One of them being, if you like it, you get the rest of the album and you’re not disappointed. Or if you hate it, it’s like, “Wait, that’s not fair! That’s not it! Please listen, I have more to say!” A lot of that fear was quelled very quickly, because “Going Under” did great, and of course “My Immortal” did great, and we have brought so many fans along. At this point, 20 years later, it’s insane. I am so grateful.

So yeah, that bothered me at first, and I’ve gone through a couple of little moments like that. But I don’t feel like that anymore. We have millions of amazing fans who love our latest album. And I feel really proud of everything that’s out there. And in context, I love Fallen. It’s not that I love it less…actually, I do! I love it less out of context. In context of the whole picture of us, and all of our growth, after all this time, I love it. But if that was our only thing that we had done, it would really bug me. So maybe that’s the reason I can’t stop coming back.

The Early Days Of Evanescence (1994-2000)

You started the band as a teenager. What was the music scene in Arkansas like in the mid-’90s? Did people know what to make of you guys?

LEE: It was different. We were different, even for that. I always saw that as a positive. The time period is part of that. [We were] super influenced by grunge and alternative. Heavier stuff, too. But what was the music scene like in Arkansas? It was what you would expect. Country was big. Hip-hop, pop, whatever was on the radio. Whatever you’re being fed by the top 40. So there’s that world, and then there was this total counterculture death metal scene. So, we obviously didn’t fit into either of those groups. But the death metal scene was a little bit closer. Those were the concerts I went to, in tiny, sweaty, back-of-the-pizza-restaurant clubs and stuff. I definitely learned to have an appreciation for this really heavy, rhythm-driven music, and cool riffs, and double bass pedals.

That’s not where I came from. That’s not my origins in music. I was really into classical. Dramatic classical, and then Soundgarden and Björk and cool, interesting alternative music. So when we did our thing, what was different about us was, first, that we weren’t a live band. It was just me and Ben [Moody]. Kids making music, in my parents’ garage and his parents’ garage and basement. Any basement or garage, or studio we could borrow after hours at my dad’s radio station, or anything like that. And we were recording artists. We were just finding what we could and making sounds. It was more like an electronic duo, and then pulling in band elements was always like, “Who will do a show with us?” And we’d gather up a drummer, and a bass player, and another guitar player, and promise them pizza and play a show. And we got signed [by the BMG-distributed Wind-Up Records] pretty quickly. We’d only played a few shows. It was like, “OK, we’ve got to put a band together, and make this real.” So we really grew up and became a band in front of the world.

It’s a very old-school, major label A&R story, I feel like. You get discovered, you get plucked, and you get brought out to LA. That kind of thing doesn’t really happen anymore in the way it did then. What was that moment like for the band, to kind of be thrown from playing the pizza place, to now, you’re in show business?

LEE: It was tumultuous. It was fighting. It was so much push and pull. It was gratitude, as well, but I felt from a pretty early point that I was constantly having to fight everyone around me to not sell out all of our vision.

So, we got signed, and it was awesome because we didn’t have to do a showcase. Everyone else wanted us to play a live show, and it was like, we’re not really like that. We still have to put this together. And this one label from New York was obsessed with it, and they’d had big success before, and we were like, “OK, we’re doing this.” Just a really rash decision at 19. And then instead of it being like what it sounds like when you say it, which is they flew us to LA, they put us in a cool place, and it’s cool and we’re making this album now. That is what we expected. We thought the album was done. But I have to be grateful now, because what we thought the album was is nowhere near as good as what Fallen ended up being, because they made us do crap that we didn’t want to do and write more music.

We had the freedom of not having to have jobs that would suck all of our energy. We could make our job impressing the label with something great. So, we just worked on writing new songs and demoing songs for a year and a half. And there were rocky moments in there, where we had to fight for our rights, and go home, and there were insults flying around everywhere when we didn’t do everything that they wanted. But all those fights were completely worth it, too. It was just the right combination of saying we’re gonna write more and do more, and also fighting back on the things that would’ve absolutely bastardized this whole thing and made us something that wouldn’t have existed this long.

Joining Korn For “Freak On A Leash” On MTV Unplugged (2006)

How well did you know Korn before they asked you to do that?

LEE: Oh, quite well. I loved Korn. Korn was one of the heavy bands that I loved, and I was so excited as a fan when they wanted to do something with me. We toured, I think, right after that. I think that was one of the last MTV Unpluggeds they did.

I think you’re right. I miss it!

LEE: I do too! It was beautiful. I made up my part the day before, I came in, we ran through it one time, and that’s it. I loved doing it, and then we went on tour together after that, which was cool. And then we did it again 15 years later.

Yeah, you stayed close.

LEE: Yeah. And then we finally did that song live! Because we never did it back in 2007 or whatever, when we first toured together. And this time, I was like, “Are you gonna have me up on that song, or what? Come on!”

The Cure were also a part of that show. Did you get to hang out with Robert Smith?

LEE: Yeah, we were all on the couch together, hanging out backstage. It was pretty amazing.

Singing “Sally’s Song” For Nightmare Revisited (2008)

I saw the Nightmare live show in LA a couple of years ago, and Billie Eilish sang that part.

LEE: Oh, amazing!

It’s cool how that song is kind of becoming a standard for alt-leaning pop singers.

LEE: Yeah! It’s funny you say the word “standard,” because there’s so few [new] Christmas standards. These songs that we’re always going to listen to, they’re all from the exact same era. And I do it too. But The Nightmare Before Christmas is one of those really rare things, where there are holiday songs on that – countercultural, of course – that are gonna live forever.

Yeah, and that belong to a younger generation. Was Nightmare big for you growing up?

LEE: Yes. It came out when I was 11 or 12, which was perfect. I mean, it was perfect. I think Edward Scissorhands was right before that, and I was obsessed with that. That’s one of my favorite scores. And then [Nightmare] came out, and I was really blown away, because I have a big love for stop-motion animation. My first record that I ever bought with my own money was the California Raisins. [laughs]

Wow!

LEE: I have always really loved what we used to call Claymation, but stop-motion animation stuff. And seeing my favorite director [Tim Burton] and my favorite score composer [Danny Elfman] do something that was that, I was a fan for life. Immediately obsessed with it.

How did you end up getting to do “Sally’s Song” for that record? Did you know Danny at that point?

LEE: No, but he was really nice to me. He invited me over to his house. It was a really surreal, cool experience. But [Disney] just asked me. I also did a random song that I don’t know a lot of people know from The Muppets [“Halfway Down The Stairs”] on their Muppets tribute album, but I think that was after that, because they were like, “Hey, that went well, let’s do another one.” But they asked me. I got the call, and I said, “Hell yeah! Please, can I do ‘Sally’s Song?'”

Nightmare – thanks in large part to Hot Topic, I think – is synonymous with a certain strain of alternative fashion. And for a while there, I think Evanescence was as well. I was in high school in the mid 2000s and there was definitely a lot of “the Amy Lee look” in the hallways. Did you ever see yourself as a style icon? Was that something you cared about?

LEE: I really have always been into fashion design. As a kid, it was hard for me to choose a definite career path, because I loved music. I felt like music was my passion, and I had to do music. But I also had a lot of passion about visual art and fashion design. And I have journals full of all of it. And making things, I’ve always made most of the art in our homes. I buy art, too, but I get an idea, and I’m like, “I want that on my wall. Here’s what needs to be here.”

I am so lucky, because what I’ve been able to do is combine all of those things into this job. I get to make my music, which is the center and the focus and the king. That’s the point, but then all around that, from production design ideas to album art ideas. I usually sketch them out before we do an album cover. I have a sketch of every one, where I had an idea, and I was like, “This is what we need to make. This is the title, this is the vibe, these are the colors.” And then with clothes, too, I’ve been making my stage wardrobe forever. Not all by myself, but I design it and I have somebody with a lot more patience than me do the math and help me take it all the way.

Her Children’s Album, Dream Too Much (2016)

Dream Too Much came out in 2016. Your son was born in 2014. I imagine there’s a correlation there.

LEE: Mm-hm, definitely! Making music isn’t always serious. You just sing your way through the day sometimes, and I realized that extra after having a baby, because you just end up filling the space with happy sounds. My husband and I both do it. You’re just singing through the activity, and then it’s like, “That’s kind of funny.” The song “Dream Too Much,” I was goofing around on the guitar, and Jack as, like, a two-year-old was saying those first couple of lines while he was playing. “There’s a monkey in the band!“ He was talking about Curious George, I think. And then, “The muffins are sleeping!“ I was like, “The muffins are sleeping? Awesome, we’re putting that in there.” [laughs]

It was fun to just have an opportunity to let things be goofy and fun, and when you have that subject there, you know exactly how to entertain them. There’s a person to focus on. It’s like, “I’m going to make this the thing that you love.” Including the stop-motion animation, and the instruments that are click-y. He used to love this Nesquik commercial with a STOMP vibe. Everything was pencils on glasses and chicka-chicka-choo-kah stuff. My producer and co-writer friend, Will Hunt – not Will Hunt the drummer [of Evanescence], very confusing – we did that album together, and he’s this super, like, science-y, fun, experimental music guy. We became friends over our love of Björk. He’s like, “Oh, this is great. I have all these weird tubular sticks and junk we can make sounds out of.” And it was just this really fun experience where I got to work with my whole family.

It sounds so naturalistic, or something. It doesn’t sound like the discipline of songwriting. You almost make it sound like you were just goofing around.

LEE: We were having so much fun! That’s what it always should be. I think that’s where good music comes from, is that you’re enjoying what you’re doing and that translates. But there are different paths and ways. It felt like we didn’t have to think so hard and make it complicated for an adult audience. It’s funny, because you make choices that are just natural, and you realize that maybe that’s not such a bad idea in general. There was definitely learning through that experience.

Metalocalypse: Army Of The Doomstar (2023)

I recognized your voice right away, even though you have like two lines.

LEE: I keep meaning to capture the clip and put it on social media somewhere! I want them to hear my voice screaming.

I was looking at your IMDb, and I was somewhat surprised that you haven’t done much voice acting or acting. Was that ever something you were interested in pursuing?

LEE: Always. I’m always asking for the right opportunities to do that stuff. I haven’t always had the best representation, and I think that maybe held me back in the past, when I would have really liked it. I just didn’t have the access that you’d think that I would. But I’m not in that situation now, so I’m always looking for something fun like that, whether it’s voice acting or making music of any kind for a film. It’s interesting the way the film industry and TV industry work. It’s so depressing how often things go so far and then get canned. There are so many things that get half-made and then dumped, and I’ve written music for a lot of those. [laughs] It’s not my fault! Or maybe it is. Maybe I should stay away.

Well, it’s odd, because movies have been woven into the Evanescence story. You mentioned the Daredevil thing, which ended up being so huge for you guys. Did you feel like you were interacting with Hollywood at that time, or did that feel like it was in a separate sphere?

LEE: There were moments. Hollywood doesn’t feel that separate from the music industry in LA. It’s all one big thing to me, in my mind. So going to those awards shows – or, we played the screening party for Daredevil, and all the actors and everybody were there – I definitely felt like we were intermingled in that world in a way that was very surreal. It’s weird. It’s like, “Whoa. Why are we here?”

That’s a great era, the early 2000s, for action movies randomly having a metal song over the end credits.

LEE: Right? [laughs] You’re welcome.

“Goofy Sings Evanescence’s Bring Me To Life” (2014)

I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t ask you about the Goofy version of “Bring Me To Life.” I’m told that you’ve heard it.

LEE: I’ve heard it. I’ve heard a lot of things over the years.

When you heard it, what was your reaction to it?

LEE: Not to insult the artist…

Bring it.

LEE: Honestly, I was like “What the fuck is this? This is stupid.” It’s funny. I don’t have a huge response. So many people sent me that. Even more people sent me this recent, the music note thing. There’s this toy that’s a music note, and it’s floating and singing the song. It’s not singing, it’s like [imitates warbling noise]. It’s so bad. My favorite one of those, I will tell you because it haunts me to this day. Somebody worked at Chuck E. Cheese or Showbiz Pizza, and you know the animatronic characters of the band?

Yeah.

LEE: So, after hours, when nobody was there, I don’t know if they work this way or if this person programmed the show. I don’t know if they’re sensitive to sound, so they move their mouths and move around, or if the person programmed it, but they made a light show, and it was dark, and they’re playing the instruments, and they did like three of our songs. In the right state of mind, that’ll give you nightmares. It was horrifying and awesome. And I salute you, sir or ma’am, whoever you are. [laughs]

You’ve got music that’s kind of been absorbed into the broader pop cultural consciousness, and I guess that’s why these things happen. There’s also the Ariana Grande thing on Fallon, where she’s doing a vocal impression of you. Is that kind of stuff surreal? How do you even process that?

LEE: It’s not surreal anymore. When we were starting out, it was. But at this point, living with it for this long, the music kind of just takes on its own life, and you start to see it as separate from yourself. It’s hard to explain. It started out very surreal and strange, and impostor syndrome is very real, but I feel like at this point, I’m where I’m meant to be. It’s amazing and I’m proud. I am ready to accept my fate as goth superstar Amy Lee of the fuckin’ dark-ass band Evanescence.

#amy lee #evanescence #2023 interviews

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earthnashes · 1 year

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Heyoooo everyone! I’m gonna gush a little bit about my gym rat hobby so please feel free to ignore me! I’m just super excited with the results I got this week. :)

For those of ya who are curious:

As of this coming April, I’d have been weight training consistently for a year. The past 5 weeks I entered a prep block to get myself prepared, and this week was the self-appointed Personal Record test I set for myself. The goal of the test is to... well. TEST how strong I’d become and the progress I made in comparison to when I first started out by finding my 1 Rep Max (and in the case of pullups, how many I can do before I can’t do anymore in one go).

The lifts I used for the testing were Barbell Bench Press, Deadlifts, and Pullups. I would’ve also tested for Squats but an old injury in my knee started acting up, so for my own safety I opted against it until I can retrain it and try later at the end of the year.

ANYWAY! The results of those tests are:

Bench Press: Last 1RM-150lbs | Current 1RM- 170lbs

Deadlift: Last 1RM- 210lbs | Current 1RM- 265lbs

Pullups: Last max: 0 pullups unassisted | Current max: 9 pullups unassisted

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Numbers aren’t necessarily important in the grand scheme of things, BUT they’re very good for me to know in order to calculate how much I should be lifting in order to become stronger and for how many reps/sets, as well as giving me an additional visual representation of the progress I’m making outside of photos.

I am naturally competitive --specifically toward myself-- so what I see when looking at these numbers is defaulting to “Cool but now I need to get stronger”. But I’m trying to make myself take a step back and actually appraise the progress I’ve made thus far and to remember to be proud of it, even if it may not feel like I made a lot of progress at all.

And taking that step back: overall? I’m very happy with the results! And quite frankly very surprised. I went into the test with base goals and trying to be open that there’s a very high likelihood of failing to reach those goal PRs this time. But I managed to outperform my own expectations, and while small part of me will forever whisper “it wasn’t you. You did it wrong. You’re lying to yourself,” it’s a little harder to deny it when I had another person actively watching me and recording the tests so I can actually see myself do it.

“You are your biggest critique” is ever the true statement man. But I’m definitely trying to learn how to be more open to success in the gym. I mean c’mon; I started at barely being able to do one pullup with 100lbs of assistance. Now I can do nine with no help? It’s not a big number, but it’s still a much bigger number than where I was, and I can be proud of that.

I guess the roundabout of me talking about this is to remind ya to take a step back and be proud of the progress you’ve made up to this point, no matter what it is. Any progress is still progress, and you can’t brush that off.

The game face can be put on; aim for that higher number, strive for more, but don’t forget to take inventory of where you started vs where you are now. You may surprise yourself. :)

----

BUT YEAH! TL;DR I think I have gotten a little stronger. I’ll be taking a couple of days break away from the gym to rest up, then will be back on my bullshit with the new training block + my 1st attempt at a minicut. We’ll see how that goes ;w;

Anyhow, if you stuck around and read my rambling, treat yourself man. Thank you so much for listening, and I will talk to ya soon! :)

#earthsong talks #powerlifting

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mal1ntent · 5 months

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You know, at the start I was pretty against the whole ‘Matrix theory’ where they’re in some sort of virtual reality, it felt like a copout and that it invalidated characters’ experiences, but as more things are added to this story the more it feels like it’s the only way I can feasibly take in all the plot holes and make them make sense. Of course there’s going to be improv rp mess ups, that comes with this brand of storytelling, but god the contradictions on a larger scale are just too much for me to rationalize. And I get it, too many cooks in the kitchen, there’s a lot of people collaborating on this story, so this isn’t really a complaint or anything. I just think for me personally, no matter what gets canonized or not, I will always be headcanoning that this is a fake reality designed to experiment on the psychology of the residents. And I mean a lot of the themes within the story fit with it, so as of now the theory fits pretty snugly, but even if somehow we get complete confirmation that it’s false, I just don’t think I’ll be able to deal with all the contradictions it implies. And the room to explore all the implications of it being a virtual reality is also very appetizing

However I still don’t like invalidating character experiences too much so I choose to believe that most memories from before the island are real, but can definitely be fucked with and/or erased completely. So characters like Bagi and Cellbit that “grew up” on the island just have their memories altered, likely everything would be accurate except for anything relating to the federation. I like to think that the home they had is the same, it was just virtually reconstructed here to suit the fake story implanted in their heads. Also this would imply that EVERYTHING is a pawn in the bigger picture, the rebellion, the federation, even the eye guy are all controlled by a bigger entity or force just playing with toys to see what happens (though I imagine it’s more professional than that). But that’s quite the big assumption so I’ll leave it at that

For characters like Baghera or Jaiden there’s room for a lot of cool concepts, but I won’t ramble too much. I guess at the end of the day it all boils down to something that has absolute power over their minds and the world they are stuck in going “wouldn’t it be funny if this happened/I wonder how it would play out if this was the case” which honestly is kind of just a representation of the content creators and the admins themselves which then gets really meta but is also really cool within it’s own right and I said I wouldn’t ramble but here we are

Welp.

Hope this was coherent enough, and if it is please let me know what you think about it! I’d love to hear anyone’s thoughts on this stuff, there’s so much more to consider with it, like the eggs and the workers and the codes. And honestly if it were to ever become fully canon I think it would have to be handled very delicately and presented in a way that doesn’t just feel like a copout, which is honestly why I prefer it as a headcanon for now, and if it is actually currently true within the admins’ heads then I hope it continues to be subtly hinted at and maybe never confirmed. A good story has mystery that doesn’t need to be answered, there’s no better conclusion to a mystery than one you as a consumer of the story come up with yourself (like exactly what I’m doing now!)

ah I never know how to conclude something like this so I end up making a conclusion that rivals the length of the actual post

okay well thanks for reading this far down! <3 you’ve got great resilience to written out brain mush

and uh I guess there’s only one real way to end this off

I hope you enjoy the island :)

#seriously how did I write that much I started this off just upset at plot holes #one day I’ll make a tag to organize my incoherent rambling #qsmp #qsmp admins #bagi #cellbit #baghera jones #jaiden animations #qsmp headcanons #unreality #let me know if this needs any other trigger warning keywords #that’s the only one I can think of for now

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little-creature-business · 1 month

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TRANS SANJI RAMBLE!!

I am an enjoyer of headcanons and WILL and HAVE headcanoned the straw hats and other characters with different/conflicting headcanons bc you wanna know why?? I can make different universes and versions of them bc DAMN a lot of these headcanons are hella good

Though I will say, as an enjoyer of headcanons, I am in a drought of transmasc Sanji stuff <\3 I DUNNO IF IM LOOKING IN THE WRONG PLACES OR NOT qwq

+before anyone says, I adore transfem Sanji w all my heart and I am glad she gets the representation bc WOW a lot of people are clever w the stuff they come up will, I really do love it and a lot of you even think of things I would’ve never thought about !! ^o^ jus a little bummed out there’s not as much transmasc Sanji content bc as soon as I saw him on screen I was like “the radar is going off”

ps if you read this far, transmasc Sanji headcanons (hear me out, most likely ooc) (also zosan)

I have been thinking about them SOOO MUCH tbh.. Sanji doesn’t feel 100% while cooking because of cramps?? You bet Zoro will notice and try and help out best he can in the kitchen despite how many times he would get kicked and/or yelled at..

sparring?? Sanji feel miserable and always thinks Zoro is going easy on him so he accidentally blurts it out one time while they are going at it and Zoro is just like “No lmao??” And might reveal smth about Kuina.. and then Sanji cries about it because even in smth like sparring he’s seen as equal to him

I think during WCI (I have not.. watched it yet teehee) while Sanji sees his brothers + sister again they’re all like “what the fuck happened to you” and Sanji is all high guarded about it but says he’s trans and he’s a guy now and they’re all like “oh ok, anyway-“ and it goes on like normal but they respect him (please pleaseeee)

Sanji while he’s with Zeff,, ofc Zeff is like “well now I got an 8-9 year old daughter to take care of” and Sanji doesn’t mind at first because he doesn’t exactly know what he’s feeling but he knows that being called “daughter” doesn’t feel right. I feel like he would discover later on what being trans meant from a frequent customer and he’s all happy because!! Wow he found out!! What best describes him!! And the next time he talks to Zeff he’s all like “so you know that regular we get through the door?” And then tells Zeff and Zeff is all like “well then, I’m happy either way for you, do you want your hair cut or different clothes?”

Running with ideas,, Sanji would probably be scared of taking testosterone/one piece equivalent because of the needles if they didn’t have a gel form. Which is why awhile after chopper joins he asks the little reindeer about it..

I also have a feeling Sanji would be afraid of surgery?? He wants to get top surgery but the idea is SO scary to him,, so he ops for binding,,

Mainly Zoro but also the crew has to remind him to not bind for too long since he can get caught up in cooking, Zoro will ALWAYS ask him to take whatever he binds with off before they spar/fight not wanting to let the cook hurt himself

this is it this is the post (I’m so mentally I’ll)

#trans sanji #ramble #dare I put the main tags #I do #one piece #vinsmoke sanji #transgender #headcanon

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beehindblueeyes · 2 years

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Finney is Special and The Grabber can’t stand it-

Been wanting to make this particular post for awhile now and I’m finally getting around to doing it. There’s something about the way that the grabber HATES Finney by the end of the movie… there’s a look in his eyes that says he’s going to Relish killing him…but not for his usual reasons. This thirteen year old boy was so annoying, was so bad (not in the ways he wanted) and disruptive that the Grabber just wants to be rid of him. He skips the games , the pop and circumstance and moves straight into buying a tarp to burry him. He’s done! Something about it is mildly amusing in that he bothered him so much he just…gave up. The rest is actually fairly interesting. I’m going to try and dive into that.

CW!-

Referenced canonical CSA

Manipulation/abuse tactics

Generally predatory behavior

He won’t let him play pretend-

There’s something about the way Finney acts from the moment he gets in the basement. He never visibly cracks. Despite being alone, hurt, and in the dark. There’s no whimper, cry or shaking. He just stares at the man barely able to see at all. Finney is never… vulnerable. The only time he is , is when he’s asleep with his back to the door and the grabber takes this opportunity to watch him.

There are tears in his eyes, his voice is soft and fragile. He seems supprimer Finney is upset at all but… the kid won’t go along with it. Short, strick, to to point answers, and he questions him! Drills holes in the mans story over and over again… and again! Only shows vulnerability when the door closes and he shutters and backs against the wall absolutely mortified. I just wanted to look at you…

It’s that Finney never believes or play into his act! He’s not disarmed by the soft voice, teary eyed version of the man who promises never to hurt him or make him do anything he won’t…like. The man that tells him nothing bad will happen here. Finney doesn’t play the game from the very beginning, the whole act the other boys fell for.

Finney won’t let him be the good guy. The nice man who brings food or would like to know his interests. The nice man who promises to take him home. Finney never lets The Grabber play his other game, the game of many faces. Many roles. Nice, mean , sad and bad. Finney forces them all to be the same person when he just keeps pushing! He keeps with the questions, wirh the lack of belief and annoys him- placing cracks in his mask, in his act. Making the soft voice go deep or the normal voice go dark. Forcing the growls, the anger, the bad to the surface.

Finney won’t let him play pretend.

Manipulation, dissociation and abuse-

Oh the grabber has multiple personalities! The grabber has this or that dissorder the grabber- please shut. Shut. No no no. Shut.

It’s simpler and far worse then that. What I prepose, is that he is just simply like that. No greater cause, no rhyme or reason. He’s just a crime of passion killer who happens to be deeply disturbed. He may have some trauma in his past but to paste all of his stuff onto this just feels wrong.

No, I prepose that the grabber is mentally sound. it makes it all the more scarier that he is doing it out of his own fruition, he knows what he’s doing- in fact he’s great at it! It’s not multiple personality’s it’s textbook emotional manipulation abuse tactics!! His goal is to get the boys to separate the part of himself who is nice to them and the part that does all the bad things to them.

He wants trust. He WANTS them to sleep wirh their back to the door, or sit right on the mattress like a good little boy when the door opens… or he wants them to go upstairs, wants them to be bad. He does everything to get them in the palm of his hand… they may think they’re doing everything by their own free will but really they’re doing exactly what he fucking wants. They’re playing his game.

The different masks are a physical representation of the roles he puts on for the boys. Each one has a different purpose. Depending on the face and what part of it he’s wearing. He’s doubling down on the “that wasn’t me it was someone else” by having them not only associate the voice changes but the literal face changes as well.

No mouth- capture. Likely kill as well. Faceless, nameless, no association besides being the first and last thing you see.

Smile(full)- general. Good mood. Brings you food and other things, asks a question here and there, curious and bubbly. Trustworthy/nice

Smile(bottom only)- vulnerable. So you can really see his eyes. That connection of actually seeing his eyes, seeing his tears or his brows furrow, gaining trust. Being “honest”. The kind that gets information out of you…likely more

Frown(full)- disappointment, anger, violence, punishment. Ranges from childish upset to… well…guess.

Frown (bottom only) - rage, panic , his own fear translated into many things

Top only- well this one,,, is special like finney.

I’m even more inclined to believe it’s an act and a tactic rather then disorder from how easily Al shifts out of his voices or attitudes. After getting finney back to the basement after his escape, he snaps at his brother in a voice we’ve never heard before. His regular, although irritated voice. For the first time we hear him not putting on any front, just— annoyed, tired and defeated. Finney didn’t play, he didn’t talk and now he’s escaped! He’s done. No more games. Just annoyance from this point on and I-

Also there’s the thing where, he treats his masks like Michael Myers. Where he’s essentially immobile without them, around the kids at least. To this, I think alongside him ignoring the phone calls from the boys it’s a way for him to ignore his guilt. As, while I believe him to be doing this while largely being stable minded, - there’s still that disconnect. Like with most killers. But I think, apart of him knows it’s wrong and if he does all this to ignore it, never truly shows his face to the kids, doesn’t listen. He can push away the guilt (this can be a whole other post, let me know if you want it)

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hinaypod · 10 months

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was listening to ep 20-siga and just wanted to say i really appreciated having a nonbinary or trans masc character in a toxic relationship with a dude because that stuff doesn't get a ton of representation -leading to less queer folks being aware of red flags ect

Oh thank you! I’m so glad that resonated and was helpful in some way.

(Mild spoilers for Episode 18: Katay and Episode 20: Siga)

For the character of Kay I mixed a little bit of growing up on the internet and some stuff I know from my friends who are transmasc/NB. Even if it’s not necessarily the scariest story, I know it’s close to home for a lot of people, which made it one of the scariest for them.

Mostly what kept it from being too harrowing was Kay’s friends who helped them, which was also an experience a friend of mine had when cutting off a toxic ex (not quite as overtly evil as the ex in the story but still pretty bad).

I think it can be really helpful to have a support system like that if/when you feel scared or isolated. Definitely hope for that for everyone.

But also - just some quick internet safety tips For The Youths -

First rule of the internet - it ain’t safe, so be safe.

Never send nudes even if you trust someone

never give anyone your trackable info online (name, where you live, your actual face)

even if you feel a connection with someone you met online and trust them, just make it a habit never to give away info that could be used against you. If they’re trustworthy after 5 years and you’re an adult, maybe then (I have online friends I’ve known since I was 15 - I didn’t tell them my real name until I was 23)

Have an alternate account! Username, icon that isn’t your face. Let people call you by your username or a nickname. As far removed from your legal identity as possible.

If you feel mature enough to do “adult stuff” online, whatever that means, then be mature enough to practice basic internet safety. As a teenager who hung out with adults online, I got lucky I never got into any real trouble, but also I was so paranoid I never let any of them talk to me about anything other than fandom stuff or get me in a private chat, and I never revealed my name or face or anything other than the fact that I was Filipino. Private chats can be so dangerous, so please be careful.

It’s not bad to have adult friends online because the internet just throws us all together in a blender and sometimes you’ll find people you vibe with, but don’t trust them with anything important until you yourself are an adult! If they take issue with it, that’s a red flag. If they understand, you’ve found yourself a good, longtime friend for when you are also an adult. It’ll happen faster than you think.

Be safe, love you all.

Motzie

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katnissgirlsmakedo · 6 days

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please talk about your fuckass book you just finished <3

ok yay :) i literally neeeeeed to talk about it in relation to other books i’ve read recently so that’s what i’m gonna do here i heart making every book a conversation with each other… so you’ll all have to forgive me for comparing call me by your name to the dream thieves of raven cycle fame but i need to. its a comparison that literally begs to be spoken about. to me. i also need to compare it to the secret history and the sun and the star and most importantly. well we all saw the timeless video. we need to get into that as well!!

obviously what sets it apart from all of my genre bullshit is that it is NOT genre bullshit, like it's just set in italy 1983 in the normal universe. which made it one of the most unique books i've read this year to be honest and real.... i have NOT been reading normal ass books... earlier i compared elio's narration to the great gatsby but i literally have just only read very few real world narrative novels i've got gatsby, richard, and this i guess. i'm working on it though!

anyway it was veryyy richard core in the sense that it's being narrated from some point in the future where elio is reflecting on that summer and oliver and what it meant to his life at large, where richard does the same thing with narrating his time at college with his greek class and bunny's murder. reflecting on two very different things unless you wanna look at it with the keen eye of a total nutcase and then i could say that they're both simply reflecting on what it was like to be seen and known by someone who turned out to not be what you hoped and you didn't end up with him despite it all. richard papen you would have loveddd call me by your name... wow. elio pearlman you would have loved the secret history...

it was ALSO very the dream thieves core in the sense that um. well me when i'm gay and having kind of a hard time working with that and there's a guy who's just like me in a bad way who wants to fuck me so bad we both look stupid as hell... but through it all there is the through line of intimacy that comes from being Recognized… rip joseph kavinsky you would have LOVED call me by your name!!!!!!!!!!! (would ronan lynch love cmbyn? well no!)

i ALSO only wanted to talk about it in relation to the sun and the star because they’re both like. ok Gay Representation is not a genre but they’re both books about gay people that i read recently so like. yeah. it’s crazy how glaring the difference between those two books is for things that both get tagged “lgbtq+” on storygraph or however many of those letters that website uses idk. like one of them is clearly written so some dude could pat himself on the back for giving the kiddos Representation in his stupid ass franchise and the other is just some fuckass book written by a totalllll freak that happens to be about gay people. in essence one made me so mad to read and the other was fine. i would never go so far as to describe a man’s work as great though. chappell roan voice i don’t think men make good art. !!! and i really believe that sorry. when a man impresses me i will let you all know but it is very rare…

which brings us to the timeless video. for everyone who somehow missed that that means (you’re fake btw 🙄) the timeless video is an amv i made last summer when i wanted to make an amv for my guys from my books but obviously they’re from books. so what i did instead was gather a bunch of characters from movies and shows that reminded me of MY guys and edit them to taylor swift’s timeless. because it’s like. other lives and i see them in everything. anyway so elio and oliver made it into the timeless video despite all the sort of mean stuff i’ve said about oliver lately (not even my fault he fuckin sucks btw) and the fact that their relationship is not like. Endgame. BECAUSE of my favorite scene. from the movie not the book. this scene was lame as hell in the book it’s the part that made me go wow i think perhaps the film is much better!! the “is it better to speak or to die” scene… i talked about it earlier but genuinely that happened to my buddy kit herondale…. and then he said something and it didn’t go very well!!!!

anyway. yay i <3 blogging on my break at work!

#asks #and also blogging on the clock!

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the-darkness-does-not-bargain · 9 months

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for the fic writer ask 👀🥺 please may i have 3, 7, 14, 15, 17, 19, & 25. sorry there are so many but what can i say i love your writing 😌

🥰🥰🥰

3. Favorite fic I have written: It has to How to Stitch Holes in the Sky, that fic is my baby 👶

7. How many ideas for fics do I have right now? So many, dude, literally so many. Thinking about my Elden Ring au again, the sci-fi au, my quasi-Good Omens au, and my Skyrim au, just to name a few. Then I have a few season 3 fic ideas about the Holy War where I make gratuitous Evangelion references.

14. If I could see one of my fics adapted? That's a toughie. My heart says HtSHtS because with the right talent and budget it could be the best Dragon Age show/film we're likely to get, and I don’t say that as a boast 😬. But! Lazarus would be also be pretty cool because it would give the SCP universe representation outside of the wiki and the fan games.

15. How do I come up with titles for fics/chapters? As far as titling fics goes, I'm a predictable slut for using song titles, with rare exception. I will also jump at any opportunity to name chapters after songs too (see: my two She-Ra fics). But if I'm not doing that, I just try to match the titles to the general theme of the work, so Chant verses for HtSHtS, data logs for Lazarus, etc etc.

17. What's something I learned while researching for a fic? That burns left by lightning strikes heal very quickly and almost never scar. I was going to have a character have lichtenberg scars from a lightning strike, only to find out that those marks tend to fade within a day. Both interesting and disappointing at the same time.

19. Sneak peek!

Now that you've made the decision to try negotiating with the rebels, things begin moving at a rapid pace. Josephine starts working her magic, sending messenger hawks with one hand and penning orders with the other. Dora focuses her efforts on arranging troops throughout the Hinterlands, guarding the roads and protecting the refugees in case the Templars try to attack. Mother Superion sends Harding back to work with her best spies to infiltrate Redcliffe and gather intel before your arrival.

Within Haven's walls, the people aren't resting either. Construction on the siege weapons continues from dawn until dusk, and an ever-growing number of soldiers train in shifts out in the cold.

Lilith doesn't try to ambush you with training again. In fact, she seems to be avoiding you, leaving the position of instructor open to Beatrice once again. She doesn't try to hit you with sticks, but she does gently reassert the Seeker’s point about your fitness level.

"We'll start simple," she says on the first morning she greets you in a set of warm fatigues rather than her usual robes. Simple turns out to mean jogging laps around the frozen lake, which nearly does you in before you've even begun.

"Draste’s tits," you pant hoarsely, stopping in your tracks somewhere into the second lap and planting your hands on your knees. "How does anyone just do this?"

She jogs back to you with limber strides, her natural grace unhindered by the snow and mud. "They practice," she tells you plainly. "They work at it until it's easy. And then they keep going." She isn't even out of breath, what the actual fuck?

"And there's no way we could just skip to the part where it's easy and go from there?" Your lungs feel like they’re going to blow your ribs out.

She chuckles. "I'm afraid not." She gently pushes on your shoulders until you straighten. "But we can at least move on to something else."

25. Have I ever upset myself with my own writing? As in, have I ever made myself cry? Yes, on occasion. Or, has my writing upset me in other ways? Also yes. I've been writing since middle school; needless to say I've gone through some serious growing pains with my work. I smashed one of my own flash drives with a hammer once because I hated everything on it. Good riddance to it.

#ask meme #thanks bestie 😘

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call-me-double-trouble · 1 year

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I keep seeing bad takes and negativity about DT, and I have no desire to start beef with people or draw attention to individuals*, but seeing criticisms that are just so awful and lacking in nuance irritates me, so instead, I’m going to start combating it with DT positivity! Keep in mind, I’m not talking about criticisms that are valid, I’m talking about the silly stuff that’s clearly just someone trying to take the moral high ground just because they happen to dislike a character and you’re not allowed to just dislike things anymore, apparently. *(No, I will not be naming names, please don’t seek out or bully anyone. Let’s just celebrate why we love this character and ignore those who can’t enjoy them for one reason or another).

This will be a long post (an essay, it’s a freaking essay) because I want to go in-depth and explain my viewpoints. I’m not going to chastise someone for lack of nuance without practicing it myself.

Today, I will discuss why I think DT is good non-binary representation (not PERFECT, no rep is without flaw—things are allowed to be complicated). Keep in mind also that I am not non-binary myself, but I’m no stranger to the identity, and although I can’t speak on behalf of the community, I’ve seen some of the arguments for and against DT by enbies, and I think I can still add to this conversation.

I see two main arguments pop up most often. One is that since DT is a morally gray criminal that worked for the antagonists, they’re making enbies look like villains. In my opinion, this argument is pretty weak because it hinges on the idea that because one enby character wasn’t a perfect angel, this means all enbies are evil and bad. It stereotypes heavily and is a bad way of thinking—you should never judge a community based on how one person or character acts. I know that some works of fiction, especially in the past, have done this to uphold the discriminatory values of the time, but SPOP was made by queer people, for queer people. Clearly they weren’t trying to stereotype enbies as bad. DT is just an enby who happens to do bad things. Characters should have flaws, and that goes for queer and trans characters, too. It’s okay if you’d prefer an enby character to be firmly on the side of good—everyone has preferences! But DT not fitting yours doesn’t make them inherently bad rep.

The other argument is that since DT is inhuman, it portrays enbies as “other” or insinuates that DT is an enby BECAUSE they’re inhuman and/or a shapeshifter. This argument is stronger than the first, and I totally understand the need for human enby characters (we just need more enbies in fiction, period—more variation means more people sees themselves and less get mad over a character not fitting their exact experience). However, DT is far from the ONLY inhuman character in SPOP (they’re not even the only reptile), and the other inhuman characters of prominence aren’t non-binary, so there’s no link between gender and being inhuman in this world. There’s also no way of telling why DT identifies as non-binary. We have no idea if their shapeshifting played any part in that, either to them or those in charge of designing the character. I don’t think it’s ever implied that it did, especially because their choice to play characters who are men or women doesn’t impact their gender identity, but this point is more up to speculation.

I’d also like to add that plenty of enbies DO identify with inhuman characters. Some people (self included) would rather be an inhuman creature than a boring old human, and DT’s design is SO fun—especially the sideways blink and those adorable ears! (Side tangent, DT was made reptilian to resemble a chameleon because, y’know, shapeshifter. You can also see the influence from their original design. The original DT wore all green and had a long ponytail that, in some depictions, went down to their feet much like current DT’s actual tail).

With those arguments aside, let’s get into what makes DT so great (in my opinion)!

For starters, I’ve seen so many people say that seeing DT made them realize that they themselves were non-binary or validated their gender identity, and I think that’s a beautiful thing! DT may piss off some enbies, but they’re very important to others, and that shouldn’t be taken away just because they’re not everyone’s cup of tea. Obviously not everyone is going to relate to them, but once again, that’s why we just need more rep in general.

Secondly, DT helped people practice using they/them pronouns. I can attest to this myself! At the time, I didn’t have any friends who were non-binary, so I didn’t have a habit of using they/them pronouns except when someone’s gender was unknown. Of course, I supported enbies and their preferred pronouns, but slip-ups happen before you get used to thinking of someone as they/them, even if you’re supportive and accepting. DT, being fictional, is a great way to practice using them to get better at adjusting when you eventually do meet an enby. Not only does it sound completely natural to say, but you also get used to correcting mistakes when you make them. It gave me an immediate, “Wait, no, that’s the wrong pronoun, it’s they,” which came in handy when one of my friends wanted to explore their gender and experiment with they/them pronouns. I know some enbies may be rolling their eyes at this, but for allies, it’s important to build these habits to avoid misgendering someone, especially when you knew them by different pronouns previously. DT also gave me and others practice on correcting someone who made a mistake without making it sound like we were accusing them of doing it on purpose. DT, and other fictional enbies for that matter, are just great in general for getting people and kids used to enbies and the use of they/them pronouns.

Third, DT’s AGAB is a mystery! You can make arguments one way or another (voice points one way, original character and pronouns on storyboard point another), but we can never say for sure because they’re a shapeshifter! Is that their real voice? Who knows! Is that their exact appearance? Who’s to say! What’s in their pants? Anything they want, they’re a shapeshifter! They’re so wonderfully androgynous, too—A+ design. And on that note, I’ve also seen people happy that DT is an enby with LONG hair, since most enby characters have short hair, and it added some much needed variety. Honestly, DT is the epitome of “Everyone finds me hot and that makes everyone gay.” Gay men like them, lesbians like them—hell, even ACES like them! (Side note, my praise of their androgyny is not to put other enbies down, as enbies can look however they want, and that’s very cool and sexy of them. Real enbies don’t have to be androgynous, and not all fictitious enbies need to be, either. But I’ve read that when portraying trans and genderqueer people, especially as an ally, that it’s best not to describe or identify features that may point to an AGAB—even if it is known—as that can be considered disrespectful to their identity and may make real trans and non-binary people feel self-conscious about those traits. It’s a complicated issue, and there are right and wrong ways to go about it when portraying trans characters.)

Fourth, DT is never misgendered by any of the characters—not even by Shadow Weaver! Everyone is shown to treat being non-binary like it’s normal (because it is) and worthy of respect, just like any other gender. I also saw someone say that it shows kids that even if someone is your enemy or you don’t like them, you should still use their preferred pronouns, because you don’t have the right to misgender someone to hurt them.

Fifth, DT is a complex character. They’re not one-note, they’re a person who has their own motivations and drive, their own passions, interesting interactions with other characters that bring out more from the others, good humor, and a complicated relationship with good and bad and the ability to do both (sometimes even simultaneously). DT isn’t a good person, but they’re not entirely a bad one, either. They’re complicated. Their motivation isn’t to do bad things, it’s just to survive, get paid, and cause chaos while doing that. I can go more in-depth in another post, but the point is, they’re interesting, they have depth, and they’re well-written.

Sixth, they’re extremely plot-relevant. They’re very important and impactful to the story. Hardly anything in the fourth season would have been accomplished without them! They kept tension high and raised the stakes, making the story that much more compelling to the audience. Before I got my friends to watch SPOP, I wanted to tell them all about my favorite character, Double Trouble, but couldn’t find a single spoiler-free clip to show them! Seriously, try to find one. I’ll wait. Maybe their introduction, but even then, you’d be taking away the grand reveal that the suave-Scorpia wasn’t Scorpia at all, and it’s more fun to let that be a surprise. They had such a prominent role and have garnered so many fans, and that’s especially wonderful for a non-binary character. They weren’t a background character offhandedly mentioned to be non-binary, they were an important character that stole the show every time they were on screen.

Basically, Double Trouble is just a wonderful, complex character who had a positive impact on lots of enbies and allies. Not everyone likes them, and not everyone has to, but there’s nothing wrong with liking or identifying with them, and they shouldn’t be labeled as inherently bad rep when their existence did so much good for so many viewers. They don’t have to represent everyone to be good rep, and they certainly don’t, but those they DO represent shouldn’t be made to feel as if they’re betraying the non-binary community.

#double trouble #spop double trouble #she ra double trouble #long post #spop #my thoughts #mine

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raining-anonymously · 1 year

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I always hc that the switch soul from the mew mew battle represents kris, since he also has a red soul but has blue skin in the dark worlds

Hi! This feels like a good time to request that you don’t interact with me if you use “he” or “she” pronouns for Kris, Frisk, or Chara. If this was a typo, I get it, it happens, but if it was intentional, well… I’ve seen a lot of reasons and excuses for why it’s okay to misgender these characters, but I to me, it boils down to this:

When a community experiences good representation (which is a far-too-rare thing for us, mind you), characters that show our life experiences, characters whose pronoun usage we have stated time and time again is incredibly important to us, well—why wouldn’t you go along with it?

And you can’t say that you want to see yourself represented in them, because if that was the case you’d be doing the same thing to cis and binary characters you related to.

Undertale and Deltarune has some of the most nonbinary representation I’ve seen from one source, well, ever. And Kris especially is so important, considering they’re presented to us from the get-go as their own character and not a blank slate. Please let us have that.

#misgendering #misgendering tw #kris #frisk #chara #utdr

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sandsunseagrapes · 2 years

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thoughts on “kathani” sharma

i wanna start this off by saying I am a fan of the Bridgerton books and show (to varying degrees) and as such it is my duty to remain critical of them as works. i obviously like the media since i interact with it, so let’s treat that as a given for the remainder of this post.

i am also a white, female-presenting (not identifying, but i benefit from white womanhood in public so it’s only fair to mention) american of mixed european/indigenous Mexica ancestry but i am culturally white american, is my point. please take everything i say with a grain of salt and believe me when i say i am not trying to speak for Tamils, Hindus, or any South Asians who may see themselves in the show. do not allow me to take anything away from you if you see yourself in Simone, Charithra, or Shelley’s characters. if you don’t want to be a little mad at least by the end of this post, please don’t read it! it’s not like i can or want to speak for you or your interpretation of the show ❤️❤️ (that’s why i didn’t want to tag this under the characters, so South Asian fans who really do enjoy the show’s interpretation don’t have to put up with my longass rant. please, if you reblog this, don’t tag it under anything other than the main #bridgerton tag)

[TLDR: i won’t touch on representation per se, but i believe i can confidently say the shallowest of research went into building the story of the Sharma heritage and that embarrasses me as a white fan and person because it implies the creators** didn’t care enough to build a cohesive cultural narrative for their Indian characters – and specifically my beloved Kate.]

alright, let’s get into it:

when i first watched s2ep8 and heard Anthony use the name “kathani,” the first and only character to ever utter it, i thought it was beautiful. i thought, wow, i’m so glad the creators gave Kate an Indian name – they acknowledged that calling the character Kate was a nickname and she actually had a culturally significant name!

i was wrong.

i’m writing a fanwork for kathony right now and as such, i wanted to do my research. i had seen (i can’t find it now but i will link it later if/when i come across it again) a post calling the show out for their treatment of the ethnic backgrounds of the Sharma-Sheffield-? family (i’m talking about Kate, Edwina, Mary, Kate’s unnamed Indian father and unnamed Indian mother here).

the name “kathani,” as far as i could tell, was completely made up by the show. sure, CVD (chris van dusen, showrunner) says in this interview w teen vogue that they “fell in love with the literal translation of the name” and the article even cites a name website. kudos to TV for giving us the exact place on the internet they pulled the name from.

this is the only one of two baby name websites on the whole damn internet i could find that claims that “kathani” is an Indian name of any kind. the one linked above says it’s a Tamil name, while this one says it’s Hindi and means something different.

alright so they’re baby name websites, they’re not the most reliable. none of the many sites i checked have sources listed, so they should be taken with a grain of salt regardless of what they say.

so i went over to reddit, and shoutout to everyone on this post for having the exact conversation i was hoping to find. although not everyone made an explicit claim of Indian/Tamil/Hindi/South Asian heritage and it is the internet, i especially appreciated the comments from a few. their perspectives were valuable and led me to research what they each said. i’ll paraphrase below.

(note: when i say these users claimed something, i don’t mean to call their identities into question. i am taking their statements in good faith. i only mean that i cannot provide evidence as i am in other instances because i’m not about to invade anyone’s privacy like that.)

one commenter said the name “kathani” confused them and suggested that the name “Kathyayani” would have made more sense, being an actual name. it is the name of a powerful female figure in Hinduism and would have suited Simone’s character beautifully, i must agree.

another flat-out said that they had never heard the name before. i took the implication of this statement to mean they are of South Asian heritage. they also said that “kathani” is a word meaning something akin to “hearsay” in Hindi. which. not a very nice thing to name someone after, i think. (a direct translation tells us the word means “story,” but i have included this comment since i think it provides valuable context that can’t be gleaned from an algorithmic translator, which seems to me where the website CVD/TV reference got the meaning from. i can’t prove this obviously since the baby name website has no sources!)

my favorite commenter said they had spent a lot of time in North India and not heard of the name before. this is important because the name Sharma can historically be found in the north and has long been associated with a high-ranking caste in Hinduism called the Brahmins. (however it appears in contemporary times, from what i can tell, the name isn’t a strong indicator of origin or social status anymore? again, this is based on crowd-sourced information, not on academic research). the commenter said to them, it seemed like “they just picked... a word that could SOUND Indian [and was reminiscent of the name ‘Kate’].”

another user seemed to agree with the above and suggested another (real) name the show could have picked instead. (they suggested the name “Ketaki,” which is the name of a native flowering tree in many languages used on the Indian Subcontinent.)

so we’ve established the name is of dubious origin at best (remember, i found only two contradictory sources which themselves had no sources listed) and a totally made up name at worst. but why do i think that’s so bad?

well, again, i’m white. but it just seems to me that in writing the story of season 2, they** (i’ll tell you who i mean exactly below) wanted to throw in elements of Indian representation and while that is wonderful and I applaud that, it was handled in a messy, shallow way that hardly added up to a cohesive narrative.

(**i’m talking about people on the bridgerton series who have creative control, namely the writers’ room and showrunner in this particular case. i can’t prove anyone else had a connection to naming the character, and i doubt upper netflix cared enough to intervene so i’m limiting my critique to those people. specifically CVD as showrunner; i don’t work in a writers’ room but i am aware that as showrunner he has the final say and while i can’t speak to the power dynamics personally, i’m sure that affected the naming process in some way. if you can call it such; it seems so frustratingly all over the literal damn place.

i did some digging on the writers of s2 and from what i could tell, there was only one Indian voice in the room. of the ten writers i could find easily accessible public info on, only Geetika Lizardi is of Indian heritage. most everyone else is a white American woman, i think; one experienced writer on the show appears to be of East Asian descent and another of African-American descent. this was all done based on pictures i could find on IMDb/twitter and inferences based on their names because i didn’t want to dig any further than that. i’m not linking their IMDBs or twitters here because I think it would be weird and gross for me to directly connect these real people to my fandom rant. if you want to look them all up, be my guest. the only relevant information here is really that Ms. Lizardi was, again, the sole Indian voice.

let me stress something: this doesn’t mean I don’t think non-Indian people can write Indian characters. my fanwork is partially narrated from the POVs of Edwina and Mary Sharma, so i’d be a fucking hypocrite if i did say that. and besides, I’m not writing about them being Indian. I cannot speak on that topic since I’m not Indian. I can write them as Indian though by doing my due diligence and researching various topics about Indian history and its many cultures to include in their stories.

I don’t mean to criticize any of the creators on this particular point. i don’t think they set out to write a story about what it was like to be an Indian woman in Regency England; the liberties the show has taken with history and race specifically are for another post. i think rather that they wanted to include several Indian characters in a story about Regency England and that is lovely, no matter what else i say here.)

back to the messiness of the Sharma heritage.

now, granted, CVD acknowledges the Sharma family is “pan-Indian,” as the TV reporter calls it. he even claims this was on purpose because the family “[travelled so much in India]” and that “[the Sharma heritage was deliberately treated as] a combination of cultures.”

respectfully, what the fuck is that? their last name is historically North Indian and very meaningful in Hinduism; Kate’s “full name” is not culturally significant; and i’m not even going to get into the fact that “bon” and “didi” are from TWO different cultures.

actually fuck that, i am. Anoushka Sinha’s article for Digital Media Talkies’ site and Kamala Thiagarajan’s article for NPR Media both point out how “bon” (or “bone,” depending on the translation, i believe) is of Bengali origin, while “didi” stems from the north and is tied most closely with the Hindi language. (oh and ‘appa,’ which both Sharma girls use as a paternal moniker? that’s Tamil. ‘amma,’ as kate refers to her deceased mother, is also Tamil. at least that’s consistent – although again, Mr. Unnamed Indian Father Sharma’s last name is Hindu. Sinha and Thiagarajan both touch on these inconsistencies.)

(the “pan-Indian” comment just reads as tone-deaf to me. i mean, bridgerton acknowledges racial history in the show – it’s not colorblind. so, we have to assume colonialism is a thing... right? English colonialism truthfully beget the Indian nationalist movement because... oh yeah, because they were the oppressors! so multiple ethnic communities in India found a reason to unite! what a bizarre way to spin a meaningless stance. looking at you, CVD.)

i’m not saying multi-cultural families don’t exist, and certainly in a multi-cultural society as rich and complex as the Indian subcontinent’s it is entirely possible to have mixed lineage. i’m saying that the linguistic details (i’m not educated enough on costuming or set design to speak to any of that), the details meant to enrich the Sharmas’ inner familial lives, the ones we’re supposed to hear and think of as so sweet, such beautiful homages to a vibrant, unique part of the world, those details (‘kathani,’ ‘bon,’ ‘didi,’ ‘appa,’ ‘amma’) were essentially pulled out of a hat.

why would two sisters call each other pet names in two different languages? does that mean they’re Bengali-Tamil-Hindu-Maharathi (because they’re supposedly from Mumbai, then called bombay, located in the state of Maharashtra. i mean, i guess since i’m supposed to be doing this in good faith, i’ll allow the creators that license since Mr. Sharma supposedly worked for a royal family and those are probably the type of employers for whom you’d move your family across the country)? it just doesn’t make sense. why would they refer to their father in another language? (what does Edwina even call Mary, does anyone know?)

if they really wanted us to believe the Sharma family was multicultural to that extent, couldn’t we have had at least one exchange along the lines of:

hey i heard you call your sister [bon/didi], what does it mean?

and then Kate/Edwina says “oh that just means little/big sister and I use Bengali and she uses Hindu as a joke because our appa taught us so many languages!” i’m asking for a crumb of sense here.

like that could’ve been it. a flimsy little joke to show that there was some connection between all these cultural jigsaw pieces. (not treating the pieces as the joke but rather the mishmash. it’s like using pieces from different puzzles and pretending it’s a picture at the end.)

South Asian representation in Hollywood needs to improve across the board, and this is still a step in the right direction, IMO. i want to also stress that the show cast not one but two dark-skinned actresses of Indian heritage (they’re actually both ethnically Tamil, from what the wikipedia entries on Simone and Charithra say). and that is really cool.

that’s actual groundbreaking stuff, putting dark-skinned women at the center of a love story where their skin-tone doesn’t make a lick of difference. (again, racial politics in bridgerton the show are a different post i’ll make another day.) i’ve read so many comments on here and reddit about Tamil and darker-skinned South Asian women feeling so seen and celebrated by that and it makes me want to cry, i’m so happy for them.

i like the show, i really do. i just didn’t want to contribute fanwork to this fandom and specifically the kathony ship without doing my research about what that post i mentioned up at the top said. i can understand where the show was coming from, i suppose, trying to represent Indian women. but India isn’t a monolithic society and treating the cultures within it as... interchangeable really bothered me.

i wouldn’t like people mixing up my traditional Mexican* lineage by saying i was Mayan (when i say “traditional Mexican” i mean the Mexica people of central present-day Mexico, also called the Aztecs. except they didn’t call themselves Aztecs – my colonial spanish ancestors did that.) just because they are from the same region doesn’t make them interchangeable.

if you made it to the end of this, you’re insane for thinking about the show this much. except... shouldn’t we? i’m a fan, i want to engage with the source material, the screen adaptation, the fandom. i just want to do so respectfully and thoughtfully. i’m really grateful to that person who wrote the post that kicked off my doubts about the linguistic inconsistencies because they made me think critically, whereas i was originally willing to take the show at face value.

shoutout to all the South Asian fans of bridgerton and kathony specifically for contributing your valuable insight, here on tumblr and across the internet. this has been a valuable learning opportunity for me. i am so excited to continue working on my fanfic and exploring Kate and Anthony’s story. i hope whatever cultural elements i end up incorporating are ultimately kind, thoughtful, and respectful. i can only hope you help to hold me accountable, dear reader.

#bridgerton critique #bridgerton #not tagging this under any character name bc of reasons you'll see later #as well i dont want to interfere with anyone's enjoyment of the character esp those who may identify w the show's version #take everything i say w a heaping table spoon of salt #dont click the read more if you dont wanna be mad fair warning #you may reply to me only in good faith otherwise i will block you #long post #hey buddy! I’m talking here!#kate my love my light my sweet #the bee show

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