#lily has trust issues

[supernova3110]

Tags i get when pressing a certain letter on the keyboard

[mintmatcha]

Kinktober: Monster Fucking

Fandom: Dungeons and Dragons

After months of adventuring with your party, you can't help but be curious about a certain dragon born....

cw: cisfem reader, Monster fucking, OC x reader, fantasy racism (someone is not nice to dragonborn), biting, slight mention of bleeding, fingers in holes

PART ONE OF TWO

a/n: A very special thanks to @tyga-lily, who talked with me about her little dragonborn and made me fall in love with this concept and to @saetyrn9 who came up with his name :)

"The bath is free, Obi."

For how much a night costs, the room is nothing special, but any inn with running water is heaven sent. It’s been almost two months since anyone in your party has slept in a proper bed and your body can feel it. Simply wearing the silk of your nightgown feels luxurious at this point; sleeping on down is going to feel obscene.

"I'll be quick." Your party mate stands with a grunt, the day heavy on his joints. You almost want to tease him, but after this adventure, your knees are screaming too. It's hard enough for you to throw yourself on to the bed

Despite knowing him for the greater part of a year, you always forget how large the dragonborn is until he’s next to you. Towering over you with delicate horns and ridged crest, Obsidian Vyke -Obi, to his friends- is all black scales and teeth. The air crackles around him the way it crackles around all sorcerers, subtle yet wild, so it’s unfair that he’s also built wide. Thick biceps and a barrel chest: no magic user should be that muscular.

"Take your time." You watch him as he moves around the room, dipping around the singular bed and pulling his sleeping clothes from his travel sack.

"I'm sorry about this," Obi says, peering over his shoulder, "I know I'm not as nice to room with as Kiri."

The two other members in your party had been fast friends-- unfortunately, they were also quick to become lovers. Usually, that did not pose any issues to the group, but tonight, the inn only has two rooms available. It seemed cruel to separate the lovebirds, so you and Obi agreed to cohabitate for the night.

"I don’t mind sharing a bed with you." The idea gives you butterflies, this flitting, nervous energy. You trust the man with your life-- fuck, he’s saved your life in battle -- but something about sleeping next to him makes your skin goosepimple. "As long as you don't snore."

His eyes narrow in a smile. "I'll try my best."

The dragonborn undoes the lacings of his leather outerwear using the sharpened tips of his claws, delicately catching them under and pulling. The motion is careful and patient, repeated until he can toss the garment into the room's only chair.

It’s not that you don’t want to share a room with him. In fact, you think you want this a little too much. You're absorbed with all of his movements as he primps a bit, adjusting the hem of his shirt so it sits properly, running a palm over his crest, sliding off his traveler's boots. If you're lucky, his shirt will be next and you can catch a peek of the toned spance of his stomach.

"My lady," His teeth flash in the fire light, pearls against the deep, dark opalescent hues of his scales, "You're staring."

"Ah, I'm sorry!" He’s one to talk; you’ve felt his gaze following you for weeks now. That's the only reason you're thinking about him and his body.

And, using that logic, he's the only reason you bought that bodice ripper last week, the one starring a pretty red dragonborn and his human lover--

"Is there something in my teeth?" Obi teases. That earns him a giggle, but, when you don't respond, he exhales through his nose and moves closer. "We're rooming together tonight, so if there's any tension between us, I'd rather-"

"I heard a rumor," you blurt out.

He goes pale. "About me? What did Thyrll tell you?"

"No, about dragonborns in general."

Relief relaxes his features.

"And you just want to know if it's true?" There's a click in his voice as he laughs, something strange and inhumane, "It's okay. You can ask. Let me guess- I eat poor little gnomes? I enchant humans with my-"

"Is it... inside of you?"

The dragonborn pauses at that, eyes wide. "Excuse me?"

"Your..." You cannot believe you're about to say this, "Cock."

"Oh."

You scramble up, hands over your face as you head towards the door. You aren't sure where you're going to go in a nightgown, but anywhere else has to be better than here.

"Oh, I'm sorry! That was so rude of me."

A wall of muscle suddenly blocks your way. Those dexterous hands that you were admiring moments ago are now touching your shoulders, rubbing up and down affectionately.

"It's alright, my lady, I'm just... surprised." He smells like petrichor, something strangely earthy and yet unnatural clinging to his scales, and laughs like summer rain, "I think it's natural to wonder about different races, I just didn't think..."

His sharp eyes are dilated a bit, the pupils closer to almonds than slits as they bounce up and down your body.

"I've had my own... curiosities about others as well," he admits, "So, who am I to judge?"

Your spine prickles at that. Who exactly was he curious about? One of the elves in your party? The barmaid downstairs? Or is it you that the thinks about at night, cock in fist?

The dragonborn misreads the upset look on your face. "I promise that I am not cross with you. How about I answer your questions and you'll answer mine? No judgments."

You settle a bit. "If you're sure."

He smiles a draconic smile, all teeth and the smallest flick of his tongue.

"Of course I'm sure. I'm not embarrassed because my species is a bit different than yours."

You watch him for a long moment. He’s kind. A scoundrel at times, but kind. It's etched into his face, always reflected in his wide, chartreuse eyes.

"So, it is different,” you say carefully.

"It is."

“Very different?”

“When my cock is hard?” He says it so easily. Always proper, it makes you squirm to hear him curse, “No. But when I’m not, it is, in fact inside.”

"It's just... flat down there?"

"Yes- give me your hand."

You weave your fingers in between his without a second thought, but he just shakes his head and pulls away. Then, he takes your still open palm in his and brings it to his torso. The muscle there is just as firmed as you imagined and it's hard not to linger in once spot to appreciate it, Slowly, Obi guides your hand down, running it over the linen of his pants. Underneath, you can feel how it's slightly ridged with larger scales than the rest of his body and, subsequently, larger gaps form in between. It's just skin-- well, it's just scales. You're touching nothing technically intimate, but your heart races anyway, caught in your throat.

"See?" His voice has the edge of a tremble and, when you look up, you realize just how close you two have become. Practically chest to chest, his snout is only inches from your face, close enough that you can see how each individual scale slightly shifts in color as the fire dances. He seems to have realized too; dragonborn expressions are hard to read, but you don't miss how deep his breathing has become.

"It's nothing like touching a human, is it?" he mumbles, hand squeezing yours ever so slightly, “Not intimate at all.”

"Well." You curl your fingers up, clumsily feeling through the fabric, "Maybe a bit.”

The fire crackles in the fireplace. He breathes again, on the brink of a sigh, and you think he’s just as caught up in this as you are.

"Just a bit?" Heat radiates from him. If he were human, it'd be alarming, but instead there's a comfort to it. You're still warm from the bath, and yet you chase that heat, slipping your hand from his just to bring it under the waistline of his pants.

"More than a bit."

He's hot underneath it all, almost uncomfortable to the touch as you explore the space blindly. His eyes haven't left yours, his lids getting heavy with every prod and poke of your fingers.

A vertical line of soft, exposed skin catches your ring finger and his body jumps reflexively as you accidentally dip inside of him. It’s strangely dry, yet much softer than the rest of his scaled body. Despite yourself, you explore it a bit more, pressing in the same way you’ll be playing with your own pussy tonight.

"A-ahh--" The dragonborn sucks in a deep breath and you can feel his abdomen crunch under your touch, "Be careful."

"Did I hurt you?" you ask as you pull away.

His chittering laugh returns. His hands rest on the small of your back, not pushing, but not entirely platonic either. When he talks, the air tastes like distant embers, just far enough away, yet not close enough, "You didn’t hurt me, don’t worry."

“Are you sure?” you press, “You made a weird noise.”

“Very sure,” He dips low enough to press his lips against the shell of your ear, "You’d do the same if I put my fingers inside of you."

This time, the heat is coming from inside you, twisting and pulling with want.

"With your claws?" You manage to joke through your suddenly dry throat, "I might cry."

"I could cut them," His voice is rolling and low as his hands explore, one traveling up your spine and the other dipping the smooth over your ass. When they both reach their zeniths, they switch directions. The silk of your dress catches against his skin, pulling it up and revealing the fat of your ass to the air. "Nice and short."

His nails dig gently into your skin, nothing more than a nip, a test.

"You’re so soft, all over. Your body just gives when I touch it,” There’s a distant tone to his voice as he speaks into the curve of your neck, “Too delicate for me, aren’t you?”

You hum in disagreement and his teeth prove you otherwise. It’s barely a graze, but the nip against your pulse point drags a whimper from deep within you. Your companion chuckles, then coos with pity as he does it again, much, much kinder this time.

“Oh, you’re knock kneed and sweet for me,” The already blossoming bruises are soothed by a warm, textured flash of wet. His tongue is rougher than a humans, longer too, and it leaves behind a string of spit that is more viscous than any human’s. “Like a fawn. My sweet fawn.”

The hand that once explored him is trapped in between your bodies, unable to move, but you can feel something against your stomach: something hard, something thick. Too much cock for your human body, but, fuck, you’re going to try.

“Bet you’re even softer down here.” A singular clawed drags over your bare ass, searching for underwear that isn't there and your body trembles with want, “Oh, look at that, shaking like a leaf. I bet you’d melt if I-”

A sharp knock at the door scrambles you two apart. A moment passes and the sound almost feels imaginary, but then it happens again. You smooth your still wet hair and try to gather yourself, heading to the door in a hurry. Somehow, the dragonborn is more flustered than you. His scales are physically ruffled and his usually stoney brow is creased. He can’t blush, but you swear you can see his face alight as you swing the door open.

There stands a familiar elvish figure, with dark straight hair and the prettiest of smiles.

“Kiri!” you exclaim. She’s a natural beauty, like most elves. All legs and sharp angles, she’s a good head taller than you, leaning over with almost a condescending grin. She’s so beautiful that you almost hate her for it.

“I am sorry to be a bother, rogue.” She speaks in Elvish and the dragonborn’s head tilts slightly side to side, like a dog who hears his name, as he tries to listen. “I came to thank you and the sorcerer.”

“Oh, yeah, no worries,” Your Elvish is unnatural on your human tongue, “We are fine here.”

“My lover thanks you too,” she winks and giggles. She’s over a hundred years older than you, and yet still head over heels like a schoolgirl. Elves might live for thousands of years, but they take hundreds to mature. “We will not be sleeping much tonight.”

You roll your eyes and pretend to gag, biting back a smile, but then Kiri grows serious.

“If he scares you, please let me know,” she continues.

“Obi?” you say, “He’s a sweetheart.”

“I’m sure he is, but those teeth! Like needles. Braver than me, sleeping next to a monster like that.”

You glance at your dragonborn and he looks away before you can meet his eye. A disappointment settles in your stomach. Monster is such an ugly word for a pretty man. Everything about him is charming and refined, from the way he speaks and the way he walks, to the way he shines his scales when he thinks no one is looking.

“That’s rude.” You’re quick to reply. Kiri grew up around only her own kind and their ideas-- she doesn’t always know what’s uncouth or offensive because of it, “Don’t say such awful things.”

“It seems like he’s already gotten hungry.” She jerks a chin to your shoulder. You reflexively reach to cover it, only to pull away when the spot feels wet. Blood speckles your fingers- not enough to warranty any worry, of course, just the slightest graze of the skin.

“That’s not--”

“I tease, I tease!” she continues, “I know it is just a scrape. Can you imagine? To lay with someone who is all claws, fire and untamed magics! I-”

The man in question stalks in between you two silently. With a towel in his arms and a chip on his shoulder, he stomps by with a snort of his nostrils.

“I’m going to bathe.” His Elvish is worse than yours, but it's enough to make Kiri’s face drop. The worst part is that he doesn’t sound angry-- you could deal with anger. Instead, he sounds heartbroken. “I don’t mean to be frightening.”

You both walk him stalk down the hall until he disappears around a corner. Kiri swivels to look at you, bewildered. “Since when does he speak Elvish?”

PART TWO

[wen-kexing-apologist]

Episode 10: The Couch

Wow @lurkingshan, it’s like you really know me! This scene is exactly what I was going to talk about for Episode 10 because the fucking TENSION put so much weight in to the air when I was watching that I could hardly breathe. 

CHRIS CHIU

THE ACTOR THAT YOU ARE

Scene Breakdown time!

First of all, I love the little couple dynamic moments we get between Lili and San Pang, where Lili has to tap San Pang in to Yuan and Qian’s fight. San Pang arrives and in a very strategic move informed by knowing Qian and Yuan for a significant amount of their lives, he arrives with food he knows will go over well with Qian and will test Yuan’s ears (he comes down the stairs from his room to throw the food away after all). 

Which, let’s just acknowledge that when Yuan comes downstairs and takes all the alcohol and greasy food away, the moment Yuan approaches the coffee table, Qian looks back towards the TV screen pretending he is disinterested in the situation at hand. But his eyes give him away because he keeps glancing at Yuan when he thinks he can steal a second. And stealing is what he is trying to do because he keeps his head pointed directly towards the television, while looking for half a second at Yuan out of the corner of his eye when Yuan leans over to collect the food. After that moment, Qian does not look towards Yuan again until Yuan has turned around and Qian can stare at his back. 

It must be said. Chris is a phenomenal actor, because even without seeing his face, just the top of his head, you can kind of tell the mood that Qian is in as Yuan walks away, because he turns towards Yuan. We see Yuan look in Qian’s direction, Qian moves his head further back to look at San Pang, then looks away shaking his head. I acknowledge I’m probably reading too much in to it, but I can feel the incredulity radiating off of that head shake. 

Yuan heads up the stairs, and Qian looks towards the staircase only after Yuan has disappeared. His head movement is so much more obvious than his previous motions that it literally looks like Qian is breaking character, or like he was previously frozen and had only now been allowed to breathe. Qian’s eyes look up towards the staircase (towards Yuan’s absence), then downward as he thinks about his next move, then back towards San Pang, then down once more as he makes a decision about whether or not he wants to Start The Conversation. 

gif by @wanderlust-in-my-soul (my savior)

Qian here is trying to check that Yuan is out of earshot because he Will Not have the The Conversation about His Feelings if there is a chance that Yuan will know about it. 

With the heaviest of sighs, Qian gives San Pang an opening: “Did you buy those for me, or for him to throw away?”  Qian asks, and once again looks out of the corner of his eye, getting serious “Or for him to throw away?” 

And there is no doubt in my mind that it is the latter. San Pang bringing food that would trigger Yuan’s care instincts towards Qian, cause Yuan to intervene, and San Pang to bear witness to the tense and angry energy from Yuan towards Qian and force the issue. I think it’s partially why Qian does not deliberate for long in starting the conversation despite his hesitancy. 

San Pang scoffs and says in response “He wouldn’t have done that if he didn’t care about you. Xiao Yuan can’t bear to leave you alone.” holds up the salad as a physical example of the care that Yuan has for Qian. 

gifs by @wanderlust-in-my-soul

Qian gives another giant exhale and looks contemplative. Something that I do find really important in good acting is the use of internal monologue. Qian always has something on his mind that he is sitting with. And the benefit of a scene like this is that the production team, and the camera trust the strength of their actors to hold the silence that settles over the room as Chris runs the gambit of Qian’s internal thoughts. 

Qian is well and truly sitting with the acknowledgement of Yuan’s feelings from San Pang. Maybe I am wrong because I am not an actor, but I do not have the kind of intentional and conscious control over my face to have the kinds of lip twitches that Chris has when Qian is thinking about Yuan’s care for him. They may have twenty seconds of silence on screen, but that does not mean the scene isn’t still in motion. There are so many little things happening in the span between San Pang’s comment about Yuan and his next reflection on sending Yuan away. 

“Xiao Yuan can’t bear to leave you alone,” Qian turns that over in his mind, to me it’s like he’s feeling the weight of it on his tongue, in his body. Qian looks up, and then around, and tosses the remote to the side, breathes heavily again. That feels like a begrudging acceptance of the statement. At the very least it is permission from Qian to proceed with the difficult conversation. 

“Before I had Yuan leave the country, I had been thinking I was doing the right thing for you two. But seriously, be honest, did you feel empty when Yuan was away?”

gif by @wanderlust-in-my-soul

Qian blinks twice and we cut to a flashback of a lovely little isolated frame of Qian feeling Yuan’s absence. We cut back to a close up of Qian’s face and his lip twitches. Which I love because it feels like an involuntary admission. We know Qian, we know that boy is stubborn and stoic, that he muscles through all the pain, that he does not let many people see his weaknesses. San Pang asks Qian if he felt empty and Qian does. not. move. He holds exactly the same position, lounging on the couch with his hand behind his head like he is unmoved, unaffected by San Pang’s question. But that little twitch of his lip gives him away. San Pang has struck a nerve. San Pang has forced Qian to hold a spotlight to the feelings he’s been trying to numb for the last four years. 

“Let me tell you something. When Lili and I first got together,” 

I don’t know about anyone else, but I snorted at the way Qian turned his head to look at San Pang in warning. We still have not seen Qian approve of that relationship. And San Pang knows that he’s staring at the precipice of some truly hot water, which is why he follows up with a “hear me out.” 

Qian relaxes and once again turns to look away from San Pang. From San Pang’s position very little of Qian’s face is visible. So Qian keeps holding a position that will give San Pang as little of a chance of reading him as possible. 

“I’ve struggled too. I…I always wondered what happiness could I bring her? Was I doing the right thing? How could I face you? And then…I felt it wasn’t right. Life is too short.”

gif by @wanderlust-in-my-soul

Again, I just have to say. CHRIS CHIU IS A PHENOMENAL ACTOR. He does not move a muscle, but you know Qian is locked in on what San Pang is saying because of how he moves his eyes. When San Pang says “life is too short” you can actually see the moment where Qian starts paying more attention to San Pang’s words, because he looks away from the TV and more downward in thought. 

“Getting hung up over it for years, would it be worth all the lost time?” 

Chris changes how he breathes here. You can see Qian take in a deep breath, but he holds it for a few seconds, he lets his nostrils flare, and then you see a large release of breath in the movement of Qian’s chest. This is really really getting to Qian. That nostril flare was not because he was breathing in. Because he’d already taken a breath. It was not because he was breathing out, because we see that happen a few seconds after the nostril flare, without his nose moving again. When Qian flares his nostrils, he is holding his breath, for a rather noticeable amount of time too. 

I love Chris because he embodies Qian so well, I can almost feel the way Qian is feeling internally in all the subtle little ways Chris plays with how Qian holds and releases tension and attention. 

“Who’s been good to me?”

Qian blinks twice, letting the question hit him, and only then does he finally release his breath. 

“Who put me before themselves?” 

San Pang looks at Qian after he finishes asking these hypothetical questions. But Qian is still looking ahead towards the TV, trying to come across as disengaged in the conversation as possible. And San Pang notices that, and that is why he continues to talk. Because Qian is hearing him, he’s listening and processing, but he isn’t engaged. He hasn’t put his body in to the conversation yet, he hasn’t responded to anything that San Pang has said to him. So San Pang keeps pushing. 

“A lot of things are only between you and Yuan. Unless you really have something against being with a guy, Yuan’s the only one who will be by your side, no matter what. Are you really not going to confront it?”

And I love that we pull away from that question to Qian looking like he is lying in a therapist’s chair. And Qian holds that position he has been maintaining throughout the conversation for a few seconds longer. The number of times he blinks the only indication that what San Pang has said is getting through and that Qian is mulling it all over. 

And only then, after San Pang has said all these things about Qian and Yuan’s relationship, in a way that is not judgemental or against the idea of these brothers becoming romantically involved. Only after San Pang has said that Yuan would be by Qian’s side no matter what does Qian set his jaw and push himself up in to a sitting position to continue the conversation. 

San Pang does not know what happened at Le’s gang beyond them being beaten up. So while it is highly likely that he is aware saying that Yuan would follow Qian anywhere is opening a can of worms, he does not understand how much ammunition he has just given Qian to talk about the danger that loving him too deeply has put Yuan in.

We do not give enough credit to film actors for maintaining continuity across scenes, because this man sits up and the first thing Chris has Qian do is massage the back of his head, where the pain of his blood clot sits. I could probably sit here all day trying to talk about all the little facial expressions he does as Qian sits up and starts preparing himself to be vulnerable with San Pang. But we can leave it as merely that. Qian is getting ready to talk to San Pang about some deeply personal stuff.

Personal stuff that Qian usually does not typically get in to. Like, San Pang says he knows what Qian went through, but I do not think he does. I do not think Qian has told him about the sexual assault, or San Pang would not have been trying to throw women at Qian. 

gif by @wanderlust-in-my-soul

“San Pang.” He pauses, and you can see the way he is still noodling, thinking about whether or not he wants to talk to San Pang about all this. And notably, he does not meet San Pang’s eye when he begins “Do you know…” Qian looks to the side, he frowns a little bit, he taps the palm of his hand against the top of the couch arm. It feels so childish and small of him in a way that really struck me. Qian is nervous, he is redirecting that energy in to his motions. In to the tapping, in to looking away, in to not having to reveal deep personal truths sitting that close to another soul. “Do you know what my biggest wish in life is? My biggest wish in life is for them to be happy,” 

Ohhhhhh how that breaks my heart. Qian has suffered so much, he has done so much, he has survived so much. If you were to ask me, I would bet that Qian has never been happy. He was forced at a very young age to take over the role of caregiver. He is both a brother and a father to Yuan and to Lili. And it is a testament to Qian’s love for his family, and the pain he is willing to put himself through that Lili is so bright and vibrant and naive about some of the workings of the world. I believe that Lili is happy. I believe that Qian has succeeded in at least that much. But that is not something he has had a chance to do. “Even if the world comes down, I’ll hold it up.” I have not forgotten that line from last episode. Qian would hold the world together if it meant ensuring his sister’s happiness. 

I do not know what it is, but there is something in the way Chris moves his mouth after he says “My biggest wish in life is for them to be happy,” that just absolutely destroys me, because he makes himself look like this is such a huge confession. 

“Mine is the same.” 

gif from @wanderlust-in-my-soul

“I just want them to grow up healthy and happy, because I’m their big brother.” Qian’s words become so breathy and he’s jabbing his finger straight in to the arm of the couch to drive home his point. These are the words that matter, this is the wish that matters. Qian’s feelings, Qian’s happiness have nothing to do with it. If he’s empty so be it, as long as his siblings are happy and healthy he will wound himself a thousand times over. His fucking face here, once again is just…When Qian takes in a breath, it is shaky. You can tell by the movement of his jaw, which looks like it is moving from side to side a little bit. As he approaches the end of his sentence, it feels like he is trying not to cry. 

gif by @wanderlust-in-my-soul

Yuan’s life might be summed up in two words: Wei Qian 

But Wei Qian’s life is summed up in five: 

Because I’m their big brother. 

“We grew up together. You think I don’t know how hard life’s been on you? But you know that Yuan’s feelings for you are different.” 

Qian looks away incredulously, and there is something else there too, I think. Something in the way that Qian’s eyebrows furrow, the way his mouth hangs open, the way he breathes out. I don’t know that he can really believe that this conversation is happening right now. That San Pang would let these words reach the light of day, that he would acknowledge them so openly, so matter-of-factly. 

“We’ve tried everything. We even sent him abroad for years. You were miserable every day. You love him and he loves you.”

We get more of Qian’s thinking face here as San Pang says these words, his mouth agape, his breath quickening, his eyes moving back and forth as he sorts through his own thoughts. 

But I need to acknowledge San Pang. He has such an intriguing connection to Qian and his family. San Pang has power of Qian, because his parents are Qian’s landlords. He and Qian have been best friends for a very long time, and even though I think it is true that San Pang likely knows the most about Qian’s life history, he does not know it all. He is still, in many facets of his life, acting like a kicked dog and backing down every time he tries to push back against Qian now that Qian knows that he and Lili are together. But when push comes to shove. When Qian’s happiness is impeded, when Qian’s health is at risk, he will tell Qian what Qian needs to hear. 

Whether or not Qian is truly having a hard time parsing through his feelings for Yuan doesn’t matter to me as much as Qian getting permission from multiple people to actually pursue the relationship. In acknowledging all of this, San Pang, the man who at one point told Yuan he could like anyone but Qian, the man that sent Yuan away for four years, is telling Qian that it is okay for Qian and Yuan to be together. He is the external judge that is finally accepting this taboo relationship, because he knows that if he does not show Qian that it is okay for him and Yuan to change from brothers to lovers, that neither Qian or Yuan will have any chance in hell of long term happiness. 

“Even if you’re not together, he’ll be sad to see you sad.” 

Off come Qian’s glasses. Shit is getting serious now. Qian rests his head on his hand, he looks away from San Pang. He really sits with it, you can see the emotions rising up in him, in the way he breathes, in the way his nostrils move, in the way his lips tremble for a second before he speaks. 

gif by @ueasking

“I’m scared, you know?” he turns to look at San Pang, and he sucks in a huge breath through his nose. It’s the first time we’ve seen him breathe so obviously that way throughout the entire scene. GOD, QIAN KILLS ME. 

“You haven’t even tried. What are you scared of?” 

And this is the fascinating thing for me, right? Outside of Yuan, San Pang is Qian’s best friend, but they do not have conversations like this that often. San Pang has tried time and again to start the more serious conversations, to act as an emotional support for Qian, but Qian brushes those conversations off as much as he can. San Pang knew the medical issues, he knows the history, he knows about the pieces of Qian’s life that Qian can’t hide. But he does not know everything, Qian does not usually let himself be this vulnerable with San Pang, hell he hasn’t even told San Pang everything that happened with Le’s gang. He’s about to, but that is only because he is trying to make a point. 

I think he is only having this conversation with San Pang, only admitting he is scared, and confused about his feelings for Yuan because he has literally no one else to talk to about it, and he’s starting to break down to the point that he can’t hold it all in by himself. And San Pang keeps pushing. 

“You know he went to find Le by himself that day?”

“I know.” 

“He was surrounded and beaten by six people, and in the end…”

gif by @wanderlust-in-my-soul

He sucks in a breath. It takes him a moment to find the strength to form the words, so he forms a gun shape with his hand, which he points quickly a few times to fill the silence and the stillness in the room as he finds the shape of the admission on his tongue. He accentuates the severity of the memory with one final large motion. 

“...they pointed a gun at…” 

Ah, and there it is. The real reason behind Qian’s comment about wanting Lili and Yuan to be happy and healthy because he’s their big brother. Qian will not act on his feelings for Yuan, especially not right now because he is feeling guilty. Not just for sending Yuan away, not just because of the letter, but because Yuan’s unwavering loyalty, protectiveness, and love for Qian got Yuan hurt. Nearly got Yuan killed. Again. 

Qian’s whole world, his entire drive was shattered the day Yuan confessed, when Yuan told Qian that he was suffering. Yuan’s love for Qian was hurting him. But Qian just wants Yuan to be happy and healthy. The chance at having that world again was nearly destroyed with the realization that Yuan almost died abroad. His world was made complete again when Yuan returned home. And it was very nearly destroyed once more when Yuan walked in to that gang in hopes of protecting Qian. 

There is pain in witnessing the kind of love someone would die for. 

Qian can put himself in danger for the sake of his siblings, because from my perspective, Qian never thought his life had much worth. His formative years were filled with horrific abuse, assault under the guise of love, pain, suffering, doing terrible things just to survive. But this is all because he cannot see the forest through the trees, of the life that he has built, of the home that he has built, of the safety that he has built for his siblings. 

Yuan is not allowed to believe his life is less important than Qian’s because no one has ever thought that Qian’s life was more important than theirs. 

“Fuck, you- you’re telling me that now? Then, you…Right now, you…So, you’ve lost…”

Another quick shout out to San Pang, and moreso to the writing for San Pang that they don’t always let him have these brilliant speeches. He was able to navigate the beginning of this conversation because he knew mostly what he was walking in to, but with the reveal of Yuan and Qian’s near death experience, he is fumbling. 

The camera cuts back to Qian. I’d say Qian is listening to San Pang, but not fully present. Chris is doing so many things with his face in that moment. His nostrils are flaring, his lips are tightening like he’s trying to hold something back, he’s rocking his jaw from side to side. 

gif by @ueasking

“So, this isn’t a decision I can make so lightly.” He is almost crying now, he won’t cry, I think the only time we’ve seen him cry is when he was staring the prospect of Yuan’s death directly in the face during Russian Roulette and when he was hugging Yuan afterwards. But you can see the growing frustration and the threat of the tears very clearly on his face. Qian emphasizes the statement by once again jabbing his finger into the couch. 

“I have to consider the future.”  

“Do you want him to have a future without you?”

Let me tell y’all the way I collapsed under the weight of that question…it is no wonder Qian, notoriously quiet Qian, immediately shuts his mouth. I appreciate how much San Pang is willing to be the sacrificial lamb, because that is exactly the question that Qian needed to hear. That is exactly the reality that Qian, Yuan, Lili all face if Qian does not get his blood clot treated. A future without Qian in it. 

Qian needs to know exactly what he is doing to the people he loves by continuing to delay this medical treatment, but San Pang had to know that in asking it, it would only make Qian retreat back in to himself. Which is what Qian usually does. It was a miracle in it’s own right that San Pang was able to get Qian to voice this many of his concerns, to tell him the entire truth, to talk to him about the fear. 

gif by @ueasking

Qian closes his eyes, he lets the blow of the question absorb in to him, and he nods his head. Which, in my opinion, is a brilliant choice because the way he nods does not read to me as a confession that yes, Qian does want Yuan to have a future without him in it, and more so is an admission of defeat from Qian. But because we don’t get verbal confirmation either way, we do not, San Pang does not, Yuan does not get any confirmation one way or the other about what Qian is thinking. 

Qian just nods, lets the silence hang one moment longer, and kicks San Pang out. 

“Go home.” He says. But there is a more promising follow up “Let me think about it.” 

Which feels like the only thing Qian has really been doing for the last four years, but we’ve already established, that boy is about as moveable as a brick wall, and he and Yuan both serve to lose a lot if this goes wrong. 

And there you go @lurkingshan! 4103 words on the mouth twitch, nervous body language, and tears in this scene :D

[theemporium]

hello! may I request James finding out that reader has a huge crush on Remus and so he starts meddling to get them together and it eventually works

thank you for requesting!🖤

.

It had been your own drunken mistake that you told James about the feelings you harboured for his best friend.

The Gryffindor team had just won the quidditch cup and everyone was celebrating. You had one too many cups of whatever spiked concoction Sirius had whipped up for the party and found yourself sitting in a bathtub with the quidditch captain, spilling your heart out. 

“Sometimes I wish I had what you and Lily have,” you had confessed to him that night, your eyes feeling heavier with each passing minute.

James knocked his shoulder against yours. “You’re a catch, mate. Anyone would be lucky to have you.”

“Not the person I want though,” you snorted, the pitiful words feeling bitter on your tongue.

“Who’s that?” 

And in your drunken, tired state, you hadn’t seen an issue in confessing that the boy in question was none other that Remus Lupin. Quiet, soft-spoken Remus Lupin who barely spared you a glance, let alone talked to you on a good day. 

But your confession had awoken something in James as he scrambled out of the bathtub, clapping his hands in excitement as he started rambling. He told you he would sort it out, despite the fact you told him not to get involved. He told you he was going to play matchmaker, despite you begging him not to. 

James Potter was going to set you up even if you wanted him to just pretend like you never said a word. 

The next week had been spent with awkward and dreadful attempts of James trying to live up to his promise. You knew he had a good heart and his intentions were pure, but you couldn't help but feel as though this setup was going to end up with Remus wanting nothing to do with you rather than the opposite. 

It all led up to the following weekend.

The marauders were pranksters at their core and they usually liked to work as their own little group. But James had dragged you along, insisting that they would need your assistance for this prank. And being as trusting and naive as you were, you genuinely believed him. You genuinely believed that he needed your help for whatever prank he was setting up this time around. 

What you didn’t expect—and you honestly should have because it was James fucking Potter—was to end up trapped in a closet with Remus Lupin, the door locked and the light dim and the sound of your cackling friend disappearing on the other side of the door.

“JAMES!” 

Your fists pounded on the door but it didn’t budge. You reached for your wand, only to find it wasn’t in your back pocket like it always was and cursed the boy under your breath. You let out a small huff, leaning your forehead against the wooden door. 

“Is being stuck with me really that bad?” Remus had asked, his amusement clear in his voice but that didn’t stop your cheeks flushing in embarrassment. 

“No, of course no! I just…James clearly just likes to torture me,” you stumbled over your words, wincing a little when you realised just how it sounded. “Not that being stuck in here with you is torture! It’s the opposite really. I mean—”

Remus chuckled. “Do you always get this nervous or am I narcissistic enough to believe it’s because of me?” 

You opened your mouth to reply but no words came out.

“Oh?” Remus mused as he stepped forward, now just in front of you. You couldn’t make out the features on his face, more so his general silhouette but all you could think was that he was huge and so tall and you could’ve died quite happily in that position. “It is because of me.”

“No,” you squeaked out, your face burning and you were almost glad he couldn’t see you. 

“Is it because you’re scared of me?” he asked, his voice a little softer.

“Never,” you answered almost immediately. 

“Good,” he murmured with a small nod of his head. “So you won’t mind if I do this.” 

You didn’t get much of a chance to question the boy before you watched his head duck down, his lips brushing against yours in the softest kiss you had ever experienced but it wasn’t enough. You needed more. 

Your fingers gripped his shirt, pulling him further down as his lips pressed against yours, hard. He let out a small ‘oomph’ before groaning, his hands finding your waist and tugging you close until your body was pressed against his. You let out a small whine when he pulled away, even if his attention just shifted to placing soft, chaste kisses along your jaw.

“I have a confession,” he muttered against your skin. 

Your eyes fell shut, your head leaning back against the door. “What?”

“James told me how you felt,” he murmured, smirking a little when he felt you tense beneath him. “Relax, he knew I felt the same. He just can’t keep a secret very well.” 

“I’m gonna kill that little bastard,” you breathed out.

“You can do it later, love,” Remus whispered before his lips found yours in the dark once again.

.

[fanfictionroxs]

Lily Evans has abandonment issues thanks to Petunia and Severus. Petunia is the major contributor as that's her big sister who should have been her eternal confidant and best friend, but who has been abandoning her in increments their entire lives. Petunia, whose love remains conditional and prejudiced, who loathes Lily's very being, her jealousy turning to spite and bigotry because if she cannot have magic then it is wrong, immoral, unnatural... and so is her sister by extension. And Lily, who has only ever wanted two people in her life, watches one of them abandon her for no fault of her own. And then there's Sev, and I know I said Petunia was the major contributor to Lily's abandonment issues, but Sev was her hope. He was the hope Lily carried that she was worthy of love, that she deserved better despite her own sister's screams of freak! Sev was the one who assured her of this every time she cried about Tuney, Sev understood her, Sev would never choose anyone other than Lily, right? Wrong! Sev chooses Voldemort and abandons Lily for a side that wants her own eradicated, expecting Lily to remain content with him treating her unlike 'other' muggleborns. She's the 'special' one from the group of filth he despises, she's the one who 'deserves' to live, she's expected to fall in line and watch her own people burn while the bigots rejoice. At the end of fifth year, it may have been Lily that walked away, but it was Sev who stole her hope the second he called her mudblood. For in the 'mudblood!' resounds the 'freak!', Tuney and Sev's voices blending as one, attacking Lily's very essence, destroying her hope and faith. So, Lily takes the abandonment issues and vows to take down Voldemort and kill every damn death eater that dares cross her path on the battlefield. She will have no other friends, her trust gone up in flames, her Gryffindor courage extinguished in the face of her fear of being abandoned once more. And she carries that fear and nurtures it against James, so fearful yet resigned of him leaving her (he never will and he will spend their lifetime proving it to her). Lily nurtures that fear far more than she ever gets to nurture Harry, the one love she hopes will never leave her. And yet, it is her who leaves him because there's no other way to save Harry. But her magic stays, her love stays, Lily stays. The girl who got abandoned stays for her baby boy. The girl Lily Evans, the freak, the dirty blood envoking old powerful magic, her blood taking down Voldemort in life and in death for her own creation, her baby Harry. Lily stays.

[somegirlontheinternet135]

I didn't expect a post about a dating sim x click & point adventure game with The Beasts to be this popular but. . .

*random gestures*

So here you go, some thoughts & features that could be added to this weird fangame I conjured up!

(tw: long)

~General~

The world that the player teleported into heavily mirrors the land of beast yeast, complete with each of the landmarks which the beasts resign in. One exception however is at the center of this mysterious land is a forest of silver trees, which surround a strange alter of six stone standing pads, five little stones around a much larger stone in the middle (wonder what that's about?)

Somewhere amidst the silver woods is a mysterious grove, a grove filled with lilies. If adventurous enough, the player can explore the grove, but be warned, for not only do the scent of lilies cause drowsiness and the possibility of passing out, but lilies aren't the only thing that the land houses. The grove is peerless maze, so the player must enter with caution

The story length will be similar to how Obey Me is set up (divided into different chapters) with the first three to four chapters introducing the Beasts

There's no "canonical" choice of who'll you'll end up with, that's entirely up to the player. Another choice the player will have is whether the relationships can be platonic or romantic

Although many MCs are mostly left blank slates, I want the player in the sort of grey area between having an actual personality but leaving details vague enough to leave people guessing. Think the MC from "Obey Me" crossed with Yuu from "Twisted Wonderland" And you know many MCs are often nice and kind-hearted, well sorta throw that out the window bc we're doing something special(snarky, sarcastic, brutality honest, and filled with trust issues)

There's only snippets of what the player physically looks like(trust me, this'll be important later)

It's also important that the player has zero memory of entering the world they were basically isekaed into, something which the beasts learn one way or another. . .

The player will receive several petnames from the beasts, ranging from simple ones like "dear" or "sweetheart," to petnames relating to mice and other rodents(ie: "Little Mouse," "Pika," even "Pipsqueak")

In the game, the day-night cycle plays a big role in the gameplay. You'll be allowed to roam and explore as much as you want, but at night, you're given the choice of whether you should go to bed or keep exploring. If the player chooses to continue exploring, they'll be met with an energy meter, which increases when you sleep and decreases when you don't. With a full bar, the player can explore a total of five times, and once that meter runs out, they get too exhausted and fall asleep

Now would be a good time to mention the player's different bedrooms. They rotate based on the location, but they're meant to be a sort of safe space for the player, it's also the area where they pick up an important item: A journal

The journal functions very similarly to a scribble board and an actual notebook but serves one purpose, to allow the player to take notes on certain puzzles. Different puzzles are scattered across the landmarks, some are extremely difficult and require one to jot notes

I also like to think the player would receive a variety of tools during their journey and will each be essential. Which would lead the player to carry a bag to hold said items

For the purpose of the story, the player is able to respawn if they die. Remember the alter in the silver tree forest, they wake up there like nothing happened, although they do still retain the memories of said death

The player will engage in several minigames, the most common of them being a cooking style game where you prepare meals and ones where your using certain tools. Whilst the click & point portion consists of the player exploring the different areas & interacting with their surroundings

As a bonus, the player is gifted different outfits from the beasts, each one corresponding to the beast, their interests, and their theme

~Shadow Milk~

In the many eyes of Shadow Milk, the player is the only cookie he's seen in a while, so it's obvious he'd want them to be his audience, if you ever so chose to be. They get the option of asking more & trying to convince him on letting them have a turn in performing, which he'll have different reactions to

*You're reading the scripts of one of Shadow Milk's plays, in awe at the material. You compliment his work, making him all the more flattered*

"Oh I love acting! Your script is amazing, could I try acting some things out?"

*Hearing the question, Shadow Milk snatches the script from your hands. He almost snaps at you*

"What? No, of course not!"

"I'm sorry my dear, I adore your praise but. . . we've already established who the audience is! It's the key tool of any actor's career, and without that, we'd just be two actors with no one to entertain. . ."

"Besides, I think you'd have trouble trying to impress such a seasoned performer like myself~"

Despite his condescending comments, he slowly begins to let you act out small skits as their relationship with him becomes stronger, and he begins to cave

Shadow Milk has several references to acting, the stage, and plays, it would be a sin to not give this man a rhythm game. Similar to already existing rhythm games like "Rhythm Heaven" or the rhythm game portion in "Obey Me"

Every task, no matter how minimal or simple, becomes way more difficult with Shadow Milk. If you're just as much as a theater kid as he is, his need for literally everything to be a grand, exaggerated, obnoxious spectacle, especially around the player, is strong. Half the time, things don't go his way & he winds up making a mess, messes which the player is forced to clean up

Also, most everything he does requires a quick "costume change" thems the rules. He's cooking you breakfast? He's wearing a bright pink apron with frills and a heart-shaped pocket. You get hurt and scrape your knee? Here comes Dr. Shadow Milk in his doctor's uniform and stethoscope. The two of you are getting ready for bed? You'll be seeing him in striped pajamas, an extremely long nightrobe, fuzzy slippers and a sleep mask, including hair curlers

There will absolutely be no sneaking out on his domain, not on his watch! Shadow Milk, with his abilities, is a living security system, and reacts heavily to sound. So one snap of a twig or step on some creaking floorboards and it's over!

"*Ahem!*"

*A freakishly familiar voice is heard from behind you. Breaking into a sweat, you slowly turn around, the smallest part of you wished it wasn't who you thought it was. . . But as luck would have it, you didn't know any other crazy entertainers. . . Sure enough, it was exactly who'd you expected to see, Shadow Milk stood in front of you, arms crossed and everything*

"Just where do you think you're going?"

*You try playing it cool, although sweating a bit*

"Oh hey Shadow. . . I was just about to head out and-"

"Head out? At this time?!"

"I-I'm not gonna be gone for too long! I'll come right back after promise- *ah!*"

*Shadow Milk had already scooped you up, carrying you bridal style*

"That's quite enough! I can't have my only audience member getting drowsy during one of my shows, now can I?~"

*You were embarrassed beyond belief, even more once he started walking you to your room, and abruptly boops you on the nose*

"It's off to bed with you little mousey!~"

". . . ok(;w;). . ."

He takes much pride & joy in inconveniencing the player, purely for his own entertainment. What makes it worse is that he'll always find some sort of excuse, saying how it's "to punish them" and "to teach them how to do it right," just some of the lies they have to deal with

And that's not all, you think he started there? nope! He started lying to the player the second the two of them met. Seeing the player scared and alone in his domain, he didn't miss an opportunity to mess with the player's head. Fortunately, this does change as you begin to get closer with him, he starts being more open with the player

The outfit Shadow Milk gives the player is, although the tackiest thing on earthbread(if the player decides that it is), the most practical of the outfits they'll receive. It has a sort of German fairytale vibe to it, covered head to toe in ruffles, lace, bells, overly detailed designs, and of course, colored blue. It looks like, feels like, and is a costume, but despite its cheesy appearance, it's easy to run & move in

Out of all the beasts, Shadow Milk is the one who cares the most for the player's physical well-being. He's always making sure the player's eating enough, getting sleep, and most importantly, is happily entertained. It's been far too long since he was able to put on his plays, and he's gonna make sure they have the ability to sit through them

All and all, Shadow Milk is a well-meaning, all be it annoying, roommate

~Eternal Sugar~

She was always keen on learning most of the trickster's secrets, so finding out about the player, she became both upset yet understanding. Shadow Milk was the Cookie of Deceit after all

Regardless, Eternal Sugar found it quite unfair of him to keep them all to himself, and took it upon herself to steal the player away, via using one of her clouds

*While wandering by yourself within Shadow Milk's domain, you peer up at the unearthly, but normally blue sky, to see what seemed to be clouds suspiciously hovering over you*

Bewildered and curious, the player has the decision of either ignoring it or checking it out, but each will end in the clouds scooping up the player and taking them, all the way to Eternal Sugar Cookie

First meeting the player, she's admittingly unimpressed with what she sees, to think something so important to them would be reduced to such a simple creature. . ? But that mindset quickly changes as she discovers how adorable the player is, and just how naive they are. . .

She views the player as some sort of pet, spoiling them with all the goodies they can ever want, to a point where its almost overwhelming

*On a table, a large platter of sweets is set in front of you; you're almost tooken back by the sheer size of the dish, it was almost half the size of the table! Just sitting next to you was Eternal Sugar, smiling almost amusingly at your reaction*

"U-Uh. . . Is this all for me. . ?"

*She giggled*

"Of course it is dear! What sort of guest would you be if you didn't receive such delicacies?"

*Eternal Sugar picks up a sweet from the platter and holds it close to your mouth*

"Now, open wide~"

Unlike the other beasts, Eternal Sugar has the habit of babying the player, so like Shadow Milk, every simple task becomes way more difficult with her around. She'll make sure they won't be able to lift a finger!

Her associative minigame fits her sort of style, a memory game using cards, similar to the many games you can find on those "Kid-friendly Newgrounds" websites

Another thing worth noting is her clingy nature. Everywhere the player goes, Eternal Sugar has to follow, which does make things more difficult and affects progress. The prime definition of a space invader

It gets even worse during the night cycle, where she often insists on sleeping in the same bed as the player. Despite this, night is the only time the player will be able to get anything done. Just know that when they got back to bed and woke up the next morning, they'll have a sweet surprise waiting for them

*Morning light shines onto your face as it creeps into the rest of the room. You groan, awoken by your natural alarm clock, and begin to yawn & stretch, a part of you wished you slept in a bit longer. But as you try to get out of bed, you feel a weight on your right hand, better yet, you feel an entire section of the bed being weighed down by some unknown force. Turning around, you quickly discover why*

"E-Eternal Sugar Cookie! What are you-?!"

*There, covering a good half of the bed, Eternal Sugar Cookie was peacefully snoozing, clutching your hand. In your failed attempts at yelling at her & pulling your hand away were left to no avail, she had no intent on moving, nor letting go, making you all the more flustered*

"Ms. Eternal Sugar Cookie, please!- Let me go! I need-"

*She merely lifted one eye, only half awake and ready to sleep the rest of the day away*

"Awh~ but little mouse, it's so early!~ Can't you stay just a bit longer?~"

*She smiles at your flustered expression*

"But I have stuff to do! Please, you have to let me- *ah!-* h-hey!"

*Too busy trying to escape, you failed to notice her grip getting tighter, pulling you back down your now shared bed*

"Sleep a little more with me, won't you? There's no rush~"

"O-ok, fine then, but only for a couple more minutes, but that's it!"

*She giggled*

"Deal~"

Throughout their stay, the player only gets small snippets of Eternal Sugar's true personality. If the player chose to question her sickly sweet demeanor, she'd get defensive real fast, asking them why they would even question something like that. If angered, she becomes pushy, demanding, especially when the player doesn't do what she says

It becomes increasingly clear when Eternal Sugar gives you a new outfit, since the one you're wearing (aka the outfit Shadow Milk gave you) didn't fit her style, believing that you should wear something more flowy. She actually offers several different outfits for the player, and although nice, they're. . . let's just say not so family friendly; try as they might to reject her offers, she'll get upset and more persistent, nonetheless; this however does change as the story goes on, she becomes more understanding. Luckily, the two manage to make a compromise, Eternal Sugar offers the player a much simpler pink dress, with bows, lace, and ribbons. Despite being much to the player's liking(if that's what the player chooses), she begins to whine about it, saying how it could've been so much more; not to mention, both the ribbons and lace constantly get stuck on things if they aren't careful

The only time the player's able to really see Eternal Sugar's true colors is when Shadow Milk shows up, who's not all too happy about her basically kidnapping the player. Whilst they ventured alone, he made the mistake of taking his eyes off them for a second, last thing he knew they were snatched by some clouds and whisked away into the sky, which he immediately starts chasing after them. He knew exactly who was responsible. Unlike Shadow Milk, Eternal Sugar does a much better job of keeping her composure, playing dumb and refraining from acting out of character around the player. But once Shadow Milk insults her fake personality, all hell breaks loose

"Well, well, well, if it isn't my dear friend. . .?~ Eternal Sugar Cookie. . !"

*Shadow Milk had snuck in through an open window. Before you could even do anything, Eternal Sugar had already pulled you to her side, forcing you to sit in the lavish and comfortable sofa she was lounging on. He made his way towards her, with his usual wide smile; from the corner of your eye, you could barely see an eye twitch and, was he gritting his teeth? It didn't look like it, but he was seething with rage*

"Oh, Shadow Milk Cookie!~ for what do I owe the pleasure?~"

"How lovely of you to ask!~ You see, you just so happen to have something that belongs to me!"

*Shadow Milk then stares back at you, startling you a bit with his crazed expression. Although Eternal Sugar seemed unfazed, her grip on you only became tighter as the trickster started speaking to you*

"Little mousey, there you are!~ Oh I was so worried, thank goodness you're safe!~"

"I am so, so, sorry to have kept you waiting~ believe me, it's a long story!~"

"*Ah!* And what happened to the little dress I gave you?! I mean you still look cute, but you'd look so much better before and- oh! almost got off track for a second!~ *haha!*"

"Alrighty, I think it's time for me and my little mousey to get go-"

"You're leaving with them? Now what would be the purpose in that?~"

*She quickly shifted from her lounging position to a sitting position, pulling you closer toward her, and flustering you more. You see the trickster's eye twitch more, noticing just a crack in his character*

"*hehe-* what did you say. . ?!"

"I've tooken quite the liking to 'your' little mouse!~ Besides, you keeping them all to your self. . ? Extremely unfair of you!~"

*She then draped her arms around you, your face was getting redder by the second*

"Surely they'll be much happier here, isn't that right little mouse?~"

"Well, *uhh-* actually. . ."

"Then it's settled!~ The little mouse will be staying with me!~"

*They proceeded to argue back and forth, Shadow Milk's played up character was falling apart at the seams, losing a drop of his patience with every word the "angel" said. Eternal Sugar found herself quite entertained with the trickster getting angrier and angrier. All the while, you didn't know what to do, clearly neither of them were going to let you leave, or you know, let you get a single word in. So you were placed in a very awkward situation, stuck between an angel cookie who wasn't keen on you leaving, and a jester who was trying to get you back through gritted teeth*

"Listen, I'm the one who saw them first, they were found in my domain, therefore, they're mine! So if you would be so kind as to return them to me. . !"

*She proceeded to hold you closer, practically cuddling you, was she trying to make him even angrier?!*

"Oh but we're having so much fun!~ They'd much prefer it here than that over-the-top spiral you call a tower. . !"

*Insulting his domain was the nail in the coffin. It looked like he'd finally snapped, any ounce of patience he had before was completely out the window. Using his magic, he wrapped up your hands in some mysterious string, pulling you forward and out of Eternal Sugar's reach, greatly shocking and scaring the heck out of you. Once you were back in his arms, Shadow Milk pushed you behind him, and looking back at Eternal Sugar, she'd gotten up from the sofa, it seemed like she was starting to crack as well*

"Oh!~ So that's how we're gonna play *huh?!* Then I'll lend you this: do you really think they'd want to stay with a tooth-rotting prick like yourself?!"

*She began to clutch her fists, her eyes widen in a mix of shock and anger*

". . ?! What did you just call me. . ?!"

"Oh don't you give me that! little miss 'sweet & innocent angel!' unlike myself, people can see your fake persona from a mile away!~"

"And with how long they had to stay with you. . . I'm surprised my poor little mousey hasn't gotten sick and vomited from the spoiling and smothering they had to withstand!"

*That was all it took for her, she broke faster than he did, the wings on her back got bigger, Eternal Sugar's eyes glowed with rage*

". . . how dare you. . !"

"HOW DARE YOU!!"

The player obviously gets the choice of trying to stop the fight or slipping away, the following events escalating faster or slower depending on which they choose. Things escalate to a point where Eternal Sugar just snatched them and attempted to fly away with the player, which led to Shadow Milk using his magical strings to pull them back, entering the two of them in an intense game of tug of war with the player. And the force of both sides was so strong. . . It ended up ripping the player in half

So, Eternal Sugar Cookie, kinda pushy at times and very clingy all the time, but a sweetheart nonetheless

~Mystic Flour~

Getting ripped in half by two powerful beings. . . not something you would easily forget. . . You'd expect this to be game over, right? well, wrong, cause upon miraculously waking up, not only do you find yourself on top a strange alter, but face to face with Mystic Flour Cookie

Seeing the clouds of Eternal Sugar Cookie's cloud soaring past her land, she immediately could tell that something was a mist, and strolling through the silver forest and finding the player laying on the strange alter, her suspicions were correct

At first, she couldn't believe it, a cookie, in their world?! But after a proper meeting with the player and asking how they ended up on the alter, she became a bit more pitiful, going on to invite them to her domain, such a clueless cookie shouldn't be left alone!

But talking about what was basically their death is pretty traumatizing, so the player is given the choice of whether to straight up lie, or give some part of the truth

"So, you have no memory of how you ended up on this alter. . ? Nothing at all?"

*Your voice was strained, you didn't want to tell her the full truth*

"N-no, not a lot. . ."

*Mystic Flour then proceeds to grasp both your cheeks, pulling you close to her face, much to your slight embarrassment*

"Oh, you poor thing! You must be so lost, so confused. . ."

*It was that moment when an idea sprung into her, an idea that may help the both of you. . .*

"How about you come with me?~ Surely you'll be much safer!~"

*Try as you might to decline her offer, she just becomes more insistent. She was giving decent points however, you were lost and confused, not to mention trapped in this witch-forsaken place, and the only two "cookies" you knew killed you, accidently or not, you couldn't decide. . . Eventually, after lots of convincing and growing tired, you finally cave, accepting her offer*

"Ok, fine, I'll go with you"

"Oh good! Well, come along then!~"

*Gently, Mystic Flour took your hand, pulling you off the alter, and guiding you through the silver woods*

Mystic Flour had already made herself sound quite trustworthy, but of course, this can't be without some sort of catch. . . Though she looks caring on the outside, she sees the player as a mere tool, a stepping stool for something much greater. Her methods of getting information is much more subtle

Both minigames mentioned before required some sort of skill, Mystic Flour's is no exception. Similar to classic video game "Snake," the player's goal is to fill the respected area using dragons instead of snakes (wonder why?)

Pretty much the minute the two of them enter her domain, she basically gives them free range to do whatever. She doesn't really care if the player wanders too far or gets into spaces they shouldn't. But she will let you know when it's time to head back

*As the sun starts to set, you continue to search about the area like a curious child, you hardly noticed Mystic Flour standing just behind you*

"Little pika, dear it's time to head back!~"

*Hearing her voice yelling out to you so suddenly just barely startled you, but you gained back your composure once you see her warm smile*

"Oh! Hi Mystic Flour Cookie! Just give me a second, I have to check a few more things!"

*It wasn't like you weren't going to listen to her orders, you just had a bit more to do. But watching you get farther & farther away from her; Mystic Flour saw it differently. Already making her way toward you, she proceeded to scoop you into her arms, startling you and plastering blush onto your face, as she started walking you back herself*

"*ah!*W-Wait! Mystic Flour Cookie, I wasn't done ye-!"

"I know, I know, dear, you have your little tasks!~ But you'll have so much time to do them tomorrow, so please, might we head back? I'm sure the food is getting cold!"

*With you being in her grasp and your legs being very much off the ground, there wasn't really a choice to keep going. You could've kicked and screamed, but there were doubts that'd even work. . . And so, with no other options, you let her take you away, which sucked, but hey, at least you have yummy food waiting for you!*

Mystic Flour has the sheer amount of enthusiasm as an overly supportive mother, she has not a clue of what the player is doing but they're doing great! But like some mothers, she tries a more "hands off" approach as a way to set rules, intentionally not telling the player helpful information just for the sake of them learning it themselves

She does, however, provide them with all the materials to do so: a bedtime routine, plenty of food, and a warm winter outfit. Speaking of which, due to the wintery background, Mystic Flour gives them an outfit most suitable to withstand the cold, something heavy, but also angelic, a nun like dress colored a soft yellow, complete with black counterparts. The only downside is that defending the player from the cold is its only purpose, for it is much too heavy anywhere else and unbearable in hotter areas

Unlike the other beasts mentioned, Mystic Flour has no interest in forming a genuine relationship with the player. To her, you only serve one purpose, finding her escape (whatever that means) and is more direct into reaching her goal. She creates a false sense of security between the two of them, then when the time is right, uses that bond to her advantage. Fortunately, this behavior does change as the story continues, and Mystic Flour becomes more interested, and attached, to the player, but for now, her methods remain neutral

This becomes more apparent as Mystic Flour tries getting information out of the player in a sort of therapeutic way, sitting them down and letting them speak about their troubles, starting with the obvious. . .

"And. . . that's pretty much what happen. . ."

*You laid atop the much larger cookie, your head resting on her lap as she lightly massaged your hair. You rub your hands uncomfortably, as if waiting for bad news, your throat felt strained. Sandwiched between two angry beings, getting pulled into the sky then ripped in two, these were memories you weren't ready to revisit, especially with someone you've met only a few moments ago. . . At the same time, was holding this deep inside healthy? You saw life flash before your eyes, seconds before being split in half. . . Besides, you were already holding onto so much. . . would it hurt to let go of some. . . You felt Mystic Flour let go of your hair as she began running her hand on your face*

"Oh you, poor, poor, dear. . ."

"I am so sorry you had to be apart of. . . that. . ."

*Although you couldn't see her face, she sounded genuinely sorry for you, which was quite refreshing considering everything you've been through so far*

"They can be rather selfish at times, only thinking about themselves. . . You're lucky you've ended up with me!~"

*You laughed at her remark, trying to brighten up the mood, despite still feeling, well, you didn't know what to feel at that point. . .*

"*Heh* Yeah. . . I guess you're right. . ."

*Unannounced to you, Mystic Flour smiled to herself, her plan was working swimmingly. . . Having brought you to a docile state, it was more than a better time to gather the information she'd been longing for. . .*

"If you would allow me to. . . may I ask you something else?"

*You think for a minute, it was only one question, what harm could it do. . .*

"*Uh* sure. . . what is it?"

"Well little pika, you see-"

*Before the words could fall out of her mouth, there was a sudden loud BANG noise from outside. Respectfully, this startles you, making you flinch, but Mystic Flour didn't seem to move. . . Looking back up, you were finally able to see her face, she seemed irritated, annoyed. Gently, she lifted your head off her lap, resting you onto your knees, confused, you turn to her and saw that she was already standing, looking down upon you. She mumbled something under her breath*

"*Ugh* At a time like this. . ?!"

"Just a moment pika. . . I have to handle something. . ."

Mystic Flour considers herself to be the mother figure of the beasts, and although uncompassionate at times, she plays her role well

~Burning Spice~

(Literally the most perfect segway!~)

All it took was Shadow Milk and Eternal Sugar fighting for Burning Spice Cookie to want a part of the action. Last where we left off with them, the two managed to split the player in half, insides and everything, and were now freaking out over their (very much dead) body, whilst arguing over whose fault it was. By sheer coincidence, did Burning Spice decide to check up on Eternal Sugar, and catches site of the two yelling at each other

Burning Spice hasn't met the player, doesn't know who they are nor what they look like, but he took immediate interest in them after seeing how they affected the two other beasts. If just their mutilated body was enough to cause them to start screaming and crying like little kids, who knows what else they could do. . .

Already, he was making assumptions of what kind of person they'd be, perhaps the player was someone strong and intimidating, someone perfect to be his sparring partner, and continues to deny any sort of actual description of them

Him, Shadow Milk, Eternal Sugar had mostly worked together in their search for the player, but the millisecond they found out they were with Mystic Flour, the race was on. . . Which takes us to now, where Burning Spice appears first, causing a massive scene with his abilities in an attempt to lure her out

*Alerted by the sudden destruction just outside, Mystic Flour rushed to her outer balcony, irritated like this had happened before. . . She knew exactly who the culprit was, and sure enough, there he was, sitting casually atop the balcony's railing, Burning Spice greeted her with a sinister look on his face. She had already prepared herself, immediately knowing that something was about to go down*

"There she is, Misty! Long time no see!"

"Burning Spice Cookie. . . what brings you here. . ?"

"*Oh!* I think you know exactly why I'm here!"

*Getting off the railing, he walked toward his comrade, having no use in making a big deal out of it. Mystic Flour, although slightly surprised, saw it as a sort of threat, only further did she stand her ground*

"Ya see, a little birdie told me that you've been hiding a shiny new treasure from us. And I, of course, thought it'd be too good to be true. . . So I decided to drop by to take a look for myself. . !"

*He tried walking around her to reach the balcony's entrance, but before he could take another step, Mystic Flour stopped him, she wouldn't back down that easily. . .*

"There is no such thing. . . whatever is in my possession is none of your business. . !"

*In her defensive state, Burning Spice's persistence only grew, now patting her shoulder almost reassuringly*

"Hey, c'mon Misty!~ we're buddies, pals! Letting me get a tiny sneak peek shouldn't be a problem!"

"Say, how about this? You let me see what you're hiding, and I promise, I won't tell the others, I'll even let ya keep it! So what do ya say?~"

*Not even seconds after he said that, he immediately tried pushing past Mystic Flour as if she'd already answered his question. Of course, she shut that down almost instantly, even pushing him back, something which he doesn't really take well. His eyes widened, she set him off by just that push alone. She could bluntly tell he was lying, only using their relationship as an excuse, so she didn't let him any closer*

"Burning Spice Cookie, we've known each other for eons, do you really think I wouldn't be able to recognize one of your petty excuses. . . ?! "

"If you knew better, you'd be wise enough to leave, for this so-called treasure you're after, I know nothing about!"

*Pushing and telling him to leave. . . yep, that'll do it. . . Burning Spice broke into laughter as his hair began to glow warms shades of red, orange, and yellow, moving like a sea of flames*

"*HA HA HA HAHAHA!* *Oh!* Misty, ya might just make me angry!"

*His tone quickly shifts from trigger-happy to overall threatening once he'd opened his eyes, now just as bright as his hair, he marches towards Mystic Flour, who was all the more irritated and unfazed*

"And you. . . don't wanna make me angry. . !"

"Make you angry?! *Heh!* Didn't know it was so easy to mess with that small brain of yours!"

*It isn't long before the two engage in full on battle, both sides being equally matched in some way. While this was all happening, you were completely unaware; being inside exploring, you're none the wiser of the destruction going on outside*

Eventually, Burning Spice does manage to bust his way inside, and upon actually seeing the player in their simple state, he couldn't be more disappointed, to think Shadow Milk and Eternal Sugar's bickering would be caused by such a boring little cookie(but those two do fight over a lot of things, so-)

He'd almost considered leaving them, but Burning Spice would rather leave with something than nothing, so taking his losses he hoists up the player over his shoulder and makes, a not so quiet, escape. Much to Mystic Flour's dismay and the player's protests (or cries for help depending on what they choose)

Burning Spice sees the player like how a general sees a soldier. He thinks they're weak, bland, and more notably boring, and wants to, in his words, "spice them up." Because of this, he is unnecessarily harsh, working the player to the bone and expecting them to "get up" when they get too tired

*How long has it been. . ? An hour? Two hours? At that point you didn't know, but all you did know is that it felt like an eternity since Burning Spice started your so called "training." Back and forth, you were forced to run with heavy rocks on your back whilst following him, who was doing the same. All the while he'd yell at you to pick up the pace as encouragement. . .You huffed and panted*

"*Hah**hah. . .* Burning Spice Cookie, please, can't we stop for. . . just a minute. . ?"

*It was the only time he'd turn back at you, what a ridiculous ask!*

"What?! Definitely not! ya still got a lot to go, pipsqueak!"

*You couldn't go on any longer. A mess of sweat and sore bones, you plummet to the ground, numb to the rocks currently on your back, you wanted rest, at least for a minute. . . Burning Spice only reached a good distance away before noticing you were far, far behind. He ran back to you, but not because he was worried*

"Ay! Pipsqueak, what's the holdup?!"

*He crouched down, better viewing your shriveled up body, far too weak to keep going. Despite the obvious, Burning Spice still tried getting you to stand, poking, even attempting to pull you off the ground, but you won't budge. . .*

"C'mon! Quit acting like Eternal Sugar Cookie and get moving!"

"Please. . . let me rest. . ."

*Your sweat could've well stained the ground if it were cool enough. . . You were stubborn & refused to get up, becoming a puddle of flesh. Realizing that you weren't moving, he, grudgingly, decides to do what was best, but first he had to move you somewhere more suitable to your needs*

"*Ugh* Alright! Fine! I'll let you outta this, only once!"

*Swiftly brushing the rocks off your back, he scoops you up and onto his shoulder, no way would he let you die right then and there. You suddenly feel the biggest weight being literally lifted off your shoulders, thanking whatever was out there for this moment*

"I'll let you rest, but not here!"

"*Heh* Thank you. . ."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever!"

Everything Burning Spice does, he expects the player to do the same, no matter how difficult. But will give them the benefit of the doubt when the player gets too tired to keep going, much to his annoyance

He's active and moving 24/7, that's why Burning Spice's minigame is directly based on "Super Mario Bros" where the player runs about collecting items, attacking enemies, etc.

If the player is talking to him, he'll most entirely talk about himself, boosting his ego, even throwing insults at the other beasts, which is both annoying and ironic because he does the exact same things that they do. That being said, it's important to never get mad at him or give him attitude because it will work him up, for better or worse. . .

The player can easily get information from him due to his blunt honesty. When talking about the other beasts, he'll always give bits of helpful information about them, some that can be extremely helpful in the future

Similar to Mystic Flour, Burning Spice gives the player free range to do whatever, the only difference is that Burning Spice sets up these "training sessions" on random occasions without notifying the player firsthand, and expects them to drop everything to train with him. This exhausts the player, causing them to only be able to do things during the day, when they've required enough rest

*Stumbling into the room Burning Spice gave you, you flop onto the bed, nestling your head against your pillow, relived. You were finally able to rest your jelly legs, sore running around and doing tasks. But you turn to your side, something catches your eye. . . On the single window of your room, you noticed what looked to be a slip of paper. Despite being entirely drained, your curiosity got the better of you, and slipping from the bed, you make your way toward the windowsill, now realizing how out of place from the rest of the room, appearing more of a light lilac than any of the reds and oranges. You questioned if even came from the place, and upon proper examination, your suspicions seemed correct. . . This was no mere paper, but a letter! Curiosities only felt more rapid as you opened, revealing not only short message crafted in cursive, but a beautiful illustration of a rose*

"Small Rodent, have you been faring well within our world? Have you been eating, sleeping well? I hope the others hadn't been too cruel towards you. . . Word of mouth does not travel fast here, so I apologize if I arrive to you late. . . I wish to reach you soon. . ."

"From- Silent Salt Cookie"

"Small Rodent. . ?"

*Reading through the passage, you took a few seconds to process, hoping that whoever sent it wasn't suggesting what you thought they were suggesting, cause if you got kidnapped one more time. . .-*

"Aye! Pipsqueak!!"

*Burning Spice had, without warning, busted into the room, no time for internal dialogue now! With milliseconds to think, you swiftly hide the letter behind your back, not before confronting the brute for his sudden excursion of your privacy*

"B-Burning Spice Cookie?! What are you doing here?!-"

"What?~ I can't check on my little pipsqueak, can't I?~"

*Again with the nickname. .?! Blushing rapidly, you couldn't tell whether you were annoyed, angry, or just plain embarrassed. . . Burning Spice laughed boastingly, always amused by your expressions*

"*HAHAHAH!~* Ya never fail to entertain me, pipsqueak!~"

*Then he noticed the arms behind your back. . .*

"Say, whatcha got there? Ya hiding something from me?"

*Shoot! the letter was still in your hands! Only seeing this as more of a reason to keep it hidden, you play it cool for as much as possible*

"I-It's nothing! W-What are you talking about?!*hehe*"

*Burning Spice just saw your actions as even more suspicious, he might be a barbarian, but he isn't stupid. He attempted turning you around to see what exactly you were keeping from him, all the while you were trying to dodge him, cold sweat beginning to run down your forehead*

"Are ya sure? Cause *uh* ya starting to look pretty sweaty there. . ."

"Oh!- this?! *Uhh. . .* I'm just, tired! from all the training today *haha!*"

*You two do this dance a bit, with you becoming doubly irritated the more Burning Spice tried seeing what you're hiding, getting additionally irritated while Burning Spice looked completely willing to tear your front open, asking and reinsuring you, again and again to get a little looksee. And you thought Shadow Milk was nosy?! Annoying and driven to your breaking point, you practically yell at him-*

"IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS, OK?!"

*Hearing those words fall out of your mouth, Burning Spice is beyond tooken aback, clearly, he didn't like being told what to do. You quickly gasp to yourself, slamming your mouth closed with a free hand upon realizing what you've just said, how could you be so stupid?! With the letter still in your other hand, you decide the best course of action was to crumble up the paper, that letter was the least of your worries now anyway. . .*

"Did. . .Did you just yell at me. . ?!"

*You gulped, your sweat becoming increasingly apparent as the brute looked seconds away from having steam shoot out his ears. He proceeds to get unnervingly close, practically towering over you. . .Didn't think it would end this way. . .*

"That. . . Is. . ."

"Great!!!"

"Ya getting spicier by the minute!"

*Burning Spice grabbed both your shoulders, and shook them with excitement, much to your bewilderment. The way his tone can just shift was both jarring and impressive. After a bit of violent shaking and surviving what would've been another death experience, he eventually lets go, not before giving you a hardy slap to the back whilst laughing, dang near knocking you off your feet and the letter out of your hand*

"*HA! HA!* Ya know what!? Take the rest of the day off! I wanna see my hard work!"

*He happily marches out of the room, leaving you in a rather messed up state*

"Be sure to get all the rest ya need! Ya gonna need it for tomorrow!"

*Burning Spice leaves the room, shutting the door, the second he was out of sight, you took the biggest sigh of relief. That was close, way too close! Like you practically dodged a bullet! You pull back out the crumbled-up letter and tried to fix it, somewhat regretting your decision of almost destroying it before. You had to be more careful next time*

During this entire scene, the player must be extra careful around Burning Spice, because despite how it's played, there's a route where he discovered the letter while they're asleep, and he's not too pleased with having Silent Salt trying to contact them, promptly getting so angry he burns the letter to ashes

That being said, Burning Spice, though seeming like a rage-filled brute who fights first and asks questions later, he's never threatening nor outright violent to the player, unless its a final resort. The player is a much-needed piece in a, all be it complex, puzzle, even if they don't even know it, and in order for them to work is through gaining their trust. But don't think that this is a good thing, there are many times where he could've hurt them yet actively chose not to

He immediately got to work constructing another outfit for the player cause in his own words, "there's no way ya staying here looking like that!" And the outfit he gives them perfectly reflects his ego, slick black clothing, paired with red barbaric accents, and brightly colored armor, making the player look like a mini version of himself. It's good enough for the endless training they have to do, but it's clear that some parts of the outfit were put together at the last second and were made from the minimal sewing Burning Spice learned. And if wanting to be honest, it's kinda ugly. . . Overall, it's the player's least favorite of the outfits given (if they decide it is)

Every hour, it feels like Burning Spice is always learning something new about the player, to him at least. Because of this, he celebrates every accomplishment they make with lavished (and very spicy) feasts, no matter how small they might be. Not exactly the best prize for basically being slaved away constantly to a point of exhaustion, but he doesn't need to know that. The only downside to this is that he's loud, like really loud, so loud in fact, he can't hear any other voices but his own, making him clearly oblivious to a certain someone stealing away the player(-again)

So Burning Spice, a not-so great roommate, but a pretty good personal trainer

~Silent Salt~

Ever since leaving Shadow Milk's site, someone else had been watching the player for some time, someone who wasn't too distant from the player, none other than the silent knight themself, Silent Salt Cookie

Once they found out about the player, there wasn't an ounce of disbelief nor hesitation that got into their head, they only had one goal in mind, and that was getting the player out of the other beasts' hands. But like a hungry wolf with its meal, they knew it wouldn't be easy. The other beasts always kept the player at arm's length, even with the leisure they receive, those four always made sure they were watched. And so they waited, and waited, and waited. . . In till they had the right moment to strike

Normally the beasts would be more direct when approaching the player, probably showing some pity towards them, not before whisking them away, Silent Salt on the other hand had a more different approach. They'd leave small letters for the player, all written in cursive and paired with a beautifully drawn illustration which they constructed themselves. Silent Salt essentially gives the player a bread crumb trail, preparing them for what was to come as to not spook them later

"Last one to get back to the base goes stale!"

"Burning Spice Cookie! Wait up!"

*You two were only trying to get back. . . nothing too special, yet of course, Burning Spice just had to turn it into a game of tag, didn't he?! Already tired from the day's activities, you struggled to move forward, and the barbarian is way ahead. Despite how unfair, annoying, and exhausting it was, you sighed, it wasn't the first time he did this. . . As you forced your body further, all you cared about was getting rest. You never understood why Burning Spice pushed your body to such lengths, but if there was one other reason to keep going it was to spite him. But as you were about halfway there, an unknown force suddenly grabbed your arm and pulled you to the side, you yelped, why does everyone here like grabbing you!?*

"*AH!* W-What the!?-"

*Pulled into an unnoticed corner, you practically swing yourself around, already having a good idea of just who decided to yank you out of the way, and you got what you wished for. . . Hovering over your tiny body, was the silent knight themself, quiet and unmoving, looking down at you. . . You jump back a bit startled, those training sessions are sounding a lot better right now. . . Although frozen with fear, it didn't take long to realize that something wasn't right. Sure, they appeared in front of you but that was merely it, just standing there, menacingly, almost like a statue. Your fear quickly dissolves into pure confusion as you stare back at them, the moment shifting into awkward silence. You already had a decent idea of who this fellow might be, and decided to use it as a way to break the barrier between you two*

"*Um. . .* Hi. . ."

"Y-You're Silent Salt Cookie, right. . ?"

*It took them a second to respond, and by "respond" they actually crouched down and got extremely close to your face, adding to your bewilderment, and barely managing to keep your composure*

"*ah!-* I'm gonna take that as a yes. . !"

*As a result of being thrown around so much, you practically knew what was next, but seeing the knight so still felt alien to you, and almost refreshing. . ? Like you were happy to just not be snatched for once, as morbid as that sounds. Oh but no, that's not right, who's to say that this fellow was to be trusted. You make the bold choice to ask them more questions, but before another word could fall out of your mouth. . .*

"Aye Pipsqueak! What's the hold up!?"

It's a no-brainer that Burning Spice finally noticed the player's absence, they have the rightful decision of running to him or yelling out, which Silent Salt covers their mouth and attempts to take them away(what a surprise!) The second route, however, the player's (4th) kidnapping is put on display for Burning Spice, who did not handle the situation well. He immediately rushes in to save them, but Silent Salt was much too swift for him. All the while, the player attempts to save themselves; trying to kick, scream, and squirm their way to freedom, but nothing works, they were a knight after all. Enraged, Burning Spice yells at Silent Salt that he'll get revenge, and he won't be alone. . !

(And before we go on any further, I personally like to hc that Silent Salt is both mute and deaf because 1. it matches with the new ancient heroes since Pure Vanilla is heavily implied to be blind; and 2. it'd make sense that the witches would want to make a disabled cookie. During their pre-corruption days, the five virtues also had to be role models for the cookies, thus they had to, at some extent, be relatable. So giving one of the virtues something that other cookies can relate to makes sense. Oh and as a bonus, Silent Salt is completely fluent in ASL and is fairly good at lip reading; Shadow Milk and Mystic Flour are also fluent in ASL and often act as their mouth pieces. Ok moving on!)

You'd think that the player wouldn't trust Silent Salt from the jump, given the circumstances & that this happened to them so many other times, and yet. . . Silent Salt was the only one to be considerate of the player's feelings before performing the act, they knew the player would be scared, if not terrified, of them, especially when you consider their appearance and quiet nature; thus they planted the letter to let them know. So although this doesn't mean the player fully trusts them, it is a step into the right path

How they view the player is a complete mystery, unlike the other beasts, it isn't just spelled out in ink. Instead, the player has to focus on their interactions and certain body language, since they can't speak

Similarly to Eternal Sugar, Silent Salt will often give the player gifts in an attempt to gain their trust. The main difference on the other hand was that those gifts were much smaller scale than what Eternal Sugar gave them, but still feel more thought out and genuine

*Lilac-colored curtain draped over large windows, comfortable sitting, and a bed that resembled a soft marshmallow, you had to admit, for living in a wasteland, they sure knew a thing or two about decor. But as you admired your new bedroom, you get a sudden knock on the door, and opening it a crack, you see Silent Salt, they appeared to be holding a few things*

"Oh! Silent Salt Cookie! What brings you-"

*Fully opening the door revealed what they were holding, a bouquet of beautifully made paper flowers in one hand, and a sliver tin, filled with salted chocolates in the other. Seeing the gifts, you were pleasantly surprised, not just by the tin of sweets but the paper flowers, so true to life and clearly made by them, you were amazed by the fact they were able to pull something like that off*

"Wow! are these for me?"

*The knight nodded their head, handing both gifts to you. Despite how small the gesture was, you still felt a tiny bit overwhelmed, the smallest hint of blush creeped onto your face*

"T-Thank you! They're lovely!"

Silent Salt was & still somewhat is known for their skills with a sword, thus the reason why their minigame is based on "Fruit Ninja." The player, instead of slicing fruit, is made to cut different pieces of paper according to a dotted line, in an attempt to mimic Silent Salt's paper flowers

While out exploring and doing tasks, Silent Salt will actually partner up with the player & help them, which is already a massive change from the player's other beast encounters. Either they'd find ways to stretch the task out even longer, or just not help at all, so having them there is a huge change of pace. They're always by the player's side, because of this, they can come off as clingy at times

They, like most of the beasts, give the player free range to do whatever, but is quick to set boundaries. The player isn't allowed to go into certain areas without their supervision, especially at night

*Lightly tracking your steps across cold floors, you carefully tiptoe through the Silent domain, moonlight streaking onto every nook and cranny acted as your only light source, which you tried to use to your advantage, the last thing you wanted was to be caught. But when you turned the corner, guess who you unceremoniously bumped into. . ? Pressed into their chest, you abruptly backed away startled & flustered realizing who it was, Silent Salt just looked at you, just like before*

"*Ah!-* Silent Salt Cookie. . ! It's not what you think. . !"

"I-I just have a few other things to do, that's all!-"

*The silent knight only stood there, arms crossed, making their stance all the more stern. You already had a good idea of what was going on in their head, no amount of convincing would change your fate. So with a sigh, you started heading back to your room, not before Silent Salt gently scoops you up, refusing to let you touch the floor, and carried you there themself. Blushing rapidly, you beg and plead for them to put you down, but failed miserably; why does everyone like carrying you so much. . ?*

Silent Salt treats the player like they're the most fragile thing on Earthbread, handling them with care and, with their position as a knight, more than happy to cater to their every need and desire

Due to their disability and limitations in lip reading, talking to them is difficult, creating this communication barrier between them and the player. This, however, doesn't stop the two of them from trying to fix the issue

That being said, Silent Salt most definitely wants to teach the player ASL so they can communicate easier. They made sure they'd take their time, teaching them all they need to know, starting with letters, to phrases, to full sentences. Even if the player struggles to learn at first, they're extremely patient with them, teaching things one step at a time

If it wasn't already obvious, Silent Salt is very delicate with their hands, due to their precise skills with a sword. Because of this, they picked up quite a few hobbies, like painting and drawing, clearly showed by the letter they made the player before, and surprisingly, braiding hair

*Slowly, the silent knight carefully overlapped strand after strand of hair from your head into beautiful braids. They put special care into each braid, constantly checking with you to make sure they were comfortable, even going the extra mile of creating more paper flowers to infuse into the braids. Sitting in front of the bedroom's vanity mirror, you were in awe at how perfect the braids were, your hair practically became an art project! Looking back at them, you couldn't see their face, but you could tell Silent Salt was genuinely enjoying themself, how they added flower after flower, even sometimes placing one directly onto your head; because well, why not? It was moments like this that made you think back to when you first met, back to when their silence felt alien to you, and how you were so unwilling to cooperate. . . Yes, you still didn't fully trust the knight, all of this just felt too perfect, almost too good to be true even, but it does. After placing the last flower, they were finally done, the braids were wrapped around your head and tied in the back with a purple ribbon*

If the hairstyle doesn't make them feel like royalty, then don't worry, Silent Salt had them covered. Cause not soon after doing their hair, they presented their outfit, which looked more like a gorgeous gown than any regular dress. Everything about it was perfect, the long white silk trin that partly touched the floor, the bow around the waste that matched your hair, the simple purple accents, its ruffled layers, everything. But possibly the most radiant part of the gown was these beautiful sewn in embroideries, each more beautiful than the last, all throughout. This was the straw that broke that camel's back, such actions of kindness couldn't go unrewarded; so through ASL, the player is able to sign phrases "thank you" and "sorry," to which Silent Salt immediately accepts. Quite a shame the player couldn't do more. . . The only two downside one could think of is that it strongly resembled a wedding dress, which can give the wrong ideas fast; also the gown length gives the possibility of tripping, but that's a simple price to pay

The relationship between the player and Silent Salt is mostly through action, and to some extent, physical touch. The player is always finding new and creative ways to repay them for everything they've done, often finding themselves cooking or cleaning for them, even gifting them drawings and paper creations they made themselves. Silent Salt does find this sweet and charming, but as a knight, they really have no desires. They crave the simpler things, like holding hands, learning ASL, or just being together in general. No amount of wasted paper would change that

Unfortunately, as stated before, not everything can be too blissful. . . Silent Salt is regularly shown to be extremely overprotective of the player, which does make sense considering their role; Silent Salt is a knight, keeping the innocent safe is their job, and the fact that the other beasts were also after them only made them double down on protecting them. Now, Silent Salt, before meeting the player, had no plans of escape, at least even they think of, in fact, became increasingly fond of their surroundings. . . Only when they learned the player did they start to reconsider. . . with a new opportunity, they couldn't simply pass it up. . .

Because of this, they've developed a 6th sense(or 5th or 4th) whenever they felt the player was in danger. Silent Salt can pick up signals of danger from miles away, and acts quickly ensure their safety, so imagine the player's surprise and confusion when being rushed somewhere else

*Everything was a blur. . . One second ago you and Silent Salt were spending time together per usual, before you knew it you were being pulled into your room, and Silent Salt was doing repeated checks on the door and windows, making sure they were locked. Confused, you try to stop them in their tracks, to get some sort of answer, but all they did was clutch both your hands tightly, looking you directly in the eyes; before abruptly letting go, telling you to never, for any reason, open the door or windows till they came back, then disappears, leaving you in a state of flustered shock. Even if completely unexpected on your end, it became increasingly clear why Silent Salt acted the way they did. . . with a battle axe, guess who was waiting just outside. . ?*

"Salty! right on time!~ It's been awhile, hasn't it?~"

*The knight merely stood there, sword in hand with a tight grip. They already knew what the brute was saying, him placing the axe's handle on the back of his neck as he began to walk towards them*

"Honestly, I'm pretty surprised Salty!~ Out of everybody here, it's you who'd be dumb enough to steal from me, me!"

"Cause when I think of stealing, I usually think of Shadow Milk Cookie, maybe Eternal Sugar Cookie if what we're after is really worth fighting for, but you?! *HA!* Didn't think of ya as the taking type!~"

"*Hmm. . .* I like it! You know I always love a good surprise?~"

*With every step he took, Silent Salt only further stood their ground, having already pulled their sword out from the dirt and getting into a battle stance. Upon reading their body language, his grin only got bigger, he knew exactly what was doing and actively stirred the pot. He put his hands up as he backed away in a condescending yet reassuring tone*

"*Woah!-* *Woah!-* Easy there buddy!~ Now I know what it looks like, but I promise, I didn't come here to cause trouble. . ."

"Instead, I'm looking for a little. . . exchange. . ."

*Burning Spice proceeded to hold his axe behind his back to make himself appear more innocent. All the while Silent Salt didn't once get out of their battle-ready mindset*

"Now I know I can be a little. . . hectic at times, but for this I'm willing to make one exception. . ."

"Say, I won't leave a scratch on your place, if you return what you've stole from me. . !"

"A simple deal, really!- You get out of this with no causalities, and I leave with that little cookie in tow!~ So what do ya say. . ?"

*Silent Salt was only getting parts of the Burning Spice's so called "deal," and already, they were not having it. . ! With just a blink of an eye, Silent Salt went from guarding their domain to holding the tip of their blade at Burning Spice's throat, as if they teleported, they were that fast. . ! Along with Shadow Milk's lies, none of the beasts were dumb enough to fall for one of his exchanges! The knight was clearly provoked; exactly what the brute wanted, so he kicked back far enough to pull his axe out from his back. Though the kick was strong, Silent Salt was still able to hold their ground, using their sword to keep their footing. There was a battle-hungry look in his eyes*

"*HA HA!* You just love surprising me, don't ya Salty?!"

*He then stretched his neck and shoulders, tense bones popped at the motion. Then proceeded to do his battle stance*

"Whatever! Wouldn't have worked anyway! Besides, no one gets dumber around here, right?! *HA!*"

"But one thing's for sure. . . Doesn't matter how tough you act. . . I'm not leaving without my pipsqueak. . !"

*His tone shifted to slight anger as his hair turned into bright flames. Having weapons drawn, it's clear as day as neither was willing to do what the other wanted, nor give in. Both had goals set in stone and willing to follow through with them; but just before they could actually strike at one and other. . .*

"*Yoo-hoo~* Up here!~"

"Apologizes for being so late you two, we've bumped into some. . . causalities. . ."

*In from above, flew in Eternal Sugar atop one of her clouds as Mystic Flour floated beside her, landing onto opposites of the brute and knight, creating this strange box. Burning Spice became all the happier, being the violence-obsessed cookie he was, this just maybe the fight more interesting for him. While Silent Salt was as stern as ever, despite being outnumbered*

"Misty! Sugar! Welcome to the party!! Just when things were starting to get interesting!~"

"*Ugh* Don't overexcite yourself Burning Spice Cookie, some of us only want this to be over with. . !"

*She has a quick glance at the beasts around her, just as annoyed of as before*

"So . . . I assume we all know about our new. . . 'inhabitant,' yes?"

*The silent knight nodded*

"*Pfft* *Uh Duh!-* What's was ya first clue?!"

"That's right! It's been far too long since I've seen another cookie, and when I finally find one, they're snatched from my hands!"

"Oh my poor little mouse!~ They must've been so lonely since they were taken away from me!"

"Being pushed and pulled by some brute and locked away by some scary knight?!~ What can be worse?!"

*Eternal Sugar whined and whined, nitpicking everything that she deemed "cruel treatment," and although most of the things said were true, Burning Spice couldn't help but take offense*

"Aye! What do ya mean by 'pushing and pulling around?!' I have you know I treat them with utmost respect and care!"

"*HA!* You call your so called 'training' of yours respect and care?! Don't make me laugh!"

"Unlike you, I provide my little mouse with everything they could ever need, everything they desire. . ! I make them happy! All your training does is ruin their perfect mind and body!"

*She looked over to her two other comrades*

"At least I can be assured that those two actually kept them safe, otherwise, I wouldn't know what I'd do. . ."

"Even Shadow Milk Cookie takes better care of my little mouse. . ."

*That's when most of the group realized a crucial detail, where the heck was Shadow Milk?! Unannounced to them, Mystic Flour already had a good idea of where he was, but waited to answer. . .*

"Oh yeah! Shadow Milk Cookie isn't here! Where is the guy anyway?!"

"When we found out the pika was being kept here, we came as soon as possible. But it wasn't long before Shadow Milk separated from us; we tried to pursue him but by then, he was already gone. . ."

"Perhaps we should wait for him. . .Knowing him, he likely has something planned. . !"

*With Shadow Milk being the smartest of their group, waiting for him seemed like the safest option, after all he was known for his tricks, who knows what he could be planning. Yet the brute and angel, who always had something to say, didn't have the patience for such. . .*

"And let him get another chance on stealing my little mouse away again?! Absolutely not!!"

"Yeah Misty, not having Shadow Milk Cookie around means less of us to get through, even if it is kinda boring! *HA HA!*"

"Wouldn't want his filth to rub off on my pipsqueak. . !"

*Eternal Sugar gasped in surprise and utter disgust*

"'Your' Pipsqueak?! are you delusional?! Clearly they're mine!!"

*Burning Spice cracked his knuckles, as he puffed his chest*

"Oh yeah?! Then why don't ya prove it?!"

*Mystic Flour groaned in irritation, if her eyes were open she would have definitely rolled them, this charade was going too far*

"*Ugh* You two are bickering like children! Could you at least not treat them like some object?! It's likely that the pika will return to me or Silent Salt Cookie, at least we don't see them as a mere pet. . !"

*Silent Salt nodded in agreement*

"And yet, I think we all know what we're really after. . . "

*With that sentence alone, it made Burning Spice and Eternal Sugar as quiet as Silent Salt was. . . The whole area was hushed, quiet enough to hear a pin drop. . .The four beasts side eyed each other, as if ready to duel; evidence was undeniably clear, they wanted to use you. . .for something? After keeping their running mouths shut for what felt like decades, Burning Spice finally breaks the silence, drawing his weapon, his patience was already dissolved. . .*

"Alright, that's it! We all want the cookie, and just sitting around isn't gonna help!"

"So, let's settle this. . . once and for all. . !"

"Agreed!"

"*Ugh* Suppose we should get this over with. . !"

*As Silent Salt drew their sword, the battle had began. The four played sides, the three of them trying to barge their way in, and Silent Salt trying to keep them out; and despite how unfair the fight seemed, not only were they evenly matched, but they all were fighting for themselves, for their own selfish goals, all of which surrounded getting to you. . . Speaking of that, you were once more left in the dark, spared from the situation. Not to say you aren't curious about what was going on either, in fact you were completely willing to open the windows to look outside if Silent Salt didn't tell you to keep them closed. Laying on top of the marshmallow bed, you stare up at the ceiling in boredom and something else. You received another to be alone with your thoughts, really rekindle and wonder. . . What the hell was going on?! First you were teleported to this strange place, then you were kidnapped five times, then you basically died and came back to life? Nothing about your situation was normal! Not to mention the cookies you're trapped with, if you can even call them "cookies" what even were they? You didn't know anything about them, what to feel about them, let alone if you could trust them or not. . . Questions were swimming in your head like fish upstream, feelings fighting for control in till. . .*

"*AH HAHAHAHA!~* no matter what, the story always stays the same!~"

*You hear a voice, a squeaky, arrogant, yet oh so voice. . . You look around in surprise, was that who you thought it was?!*

"That's right!~ The hero has arrived!~"

". . .To save his damsel in distress!~"

*CRASH!*

*Destroying one of the windows, bursts in the self-proclaimed trickster himself, Shadow Milk Cookie, the suddenness of the action making you fall off your bed startled and almost near giving you a heart attack. When hitting the ground, he did a quick barrel roll before landing on one knee in a sort of "ta-da!" position, acting like he didn't ruin a perfectly good glass plane, and much to your bewilderment. You quickly get up and stand towards him*

"S-Shadow Milk?! Are you ok?!"

"Awh~ Look at you!~ worrying for lil'ol me!~"

"I'm perfectly fine my little mousey!~ Absolutely splendid!~"

*You knew you should've expected a reaction like that from him of all cookies, but it didn't stop you from going dumbfounded*

"You just jumped in through a closed window!!"

*He then went on this long, overexaggerated, winded speech about how much he missed you, how you two had been separated for far too long, what lengths he had to go through just to get to you, but you were wise enough to know that he was partly spewing out lies. . . Mystic Flour knew he had a plan, and had a plan he did! whilst everyone else was occupied, he'd snuck in through a back window, unbelievable how such a cheap tactic was able to work. . . It wasn't long for Shadow Milk to notice the beautiful dress you were wearing, and lights up with glee, zipping toward you, and scaring you once more*

"And might I add, that is quite a marvelous gown you have on!~ *AH!* It makes you look so much more like a proper damsel!~ who made it?!"

"Well-. . ."

*He cuts you off before another word could come out of your mouth*

"-Oh, no, no, no, wait!- don't tell me, Silent Salt Cookie made this, didn't they?~"

"*AH!* It's such a no brainer!~ They make such amazing things, of course they'd make something this cute!~ I'm a little jealous!~ *hehehe!~*"

"*Whew!~* Okay, I think we had enough excitement for one day, hadn't we?~"

*He abruptly grabs your arm and pulls you close, startling you as blush begins to creep up your cheeks*

"Time to go home!~"

*It was the mention of "home" that threw you into a loop, what did he mean by "go home?!" Shocked, you pulled yourself away from the trickster, causing surprise and slight annoyance on his end*

"H-Home?! What are you talking about?!"

"Oh, you ask such silly questions, I'm taking you with me! Back to my humble abode!~"

Obviously, going back to the guy that had the player turned into two halves, is something that they aren't fully ready to do, thus are given the choice to go with him or not; to which both have different, yet very grim results. . . If they say yes, Shadow Milk Cookie will carry them out of Silent Salt's domain, not before being founded out by the other beasts, causing the player to be caught up within the drama, eventually getting stabbed through the chest from all the excitement. . ! On the other hand, if they say no, Shadow Milk with become more persuasive toward the player, reminding them of their time spent apart. If they deny him enough times, his patience begins to wane as his persona falls apart. Becoming more demanding till he snaps, forcing the player to leave with him; but it was already too late, as the other beasts had shown up, who aren't too happy about his late arrival, and chaos ensues, leading to the player getting decapitated. . !(Woooo-)

~Final~

The player ends up back at the top of the altar in the Silver Forest, completely passed out from the shock. All the beasts, after freaking out over their dead body, head there in a heartbeat, arguing over who'd be the one to take the player home, till Mystic Flour decides enough is enough, ending the argument and declaring the Shadow Milk should be the one to take in the player since he found them first, further saying that arguing wouldn't get them anywhere and wants to start a meeting before anyone else could argue back. . . Fast forward to Shadow Milk's base, the player is getting some well needed rest as the beasts are discussing what to do next, although it isn't entirely apparent that they remember how they got there, having them around could be beneficial to their much bigger goals. After a bit of talking, Shadow Milk conjures up a wonderfully, awful, idea. . . keeping the player as their hostage. . . Think about it! From the outside world, they already have reputations for being cold and cruel monsters, if they found out they had a cookie with them, they'd go nuts! Plus, who'd be more inclined to get involved? None other than the new Guardian Of The Seal, and Ancient Hero herself, White Lily Cookie. . . Long story short, they all agree with the plan, as it will guarantee their escape, and check on the player not long after, who was still passed out

*In your dormant state, you lay unconscious as all five beasts watched you, each of them claimed a corner of the bed. As they watched, Silent Salt noticed a slight twitching in your hand, and instinctively embraced theirs into yours, rubbing their thumb on your wrist. Not everybody took it well, cause Eternal Sugar shooed their hand away just a few seconds later*

"*Ugh* Get your hands away from them, you're ruining their slumber. . !"

*She turns back to you as her mood shifts from annoyance to gentle delight*

"Awh~ They look so precious!~"

*Burning Spice leaned forward on the bed to get a better look at you, he seemed upset*

"How long are they gonna be like this. . ? It's been awhile now. . ."

"Roughly a few hours, but I believe they will be awake by tomorrow. . . Poor thing, must have scared them quite a lot "

". . . I think it'd be wise to not tell the pika about our plan, after all, we did get this far with them"

"Right you are, my dear comrade!~"

"If it were to get out that we were keeping them for our own sake, it'd surely shatter any trust we might have, and we don't want them defying us, now do we?~"

*The other beasts agreed*

"*hehehehe!* So it's settled!~"

*Running a hand up your arm, the trickster looked back at you with his signature smile*

"*Hehehehe!*Oh be sure to get all the rest you need, my little mousey!~"

"Cause you'll be in for quite the performance!~"

And that's pretty much how the story begins, the player is their little doll for the time being, none the wiser about the beasts' plans for hostage type deal with The Guardian Of The Seal

(holy crap we're almost done, guess it's time to talk about some background and bonus info)

~Background~

You are playing as the new resident of the Faerie Kingdom, a half-faerie who grew up in Crispia. There, they are known for two things, having cookie genetics and being kinda an a*s, everything makes them unique compared to other faeries, especially the lack of wings on their back, and their personality isn't exactly a pocket of sunshine either. So throw that in a blender, and you got yourself unnecessary fame that many don't want. The player receives the full "little sibling treatment" with faeries being overbearing and constantly getting doted on. Which, of course, sucks, day by day, no matter where they go, they can't escape it! The only escape they have from it all is their day job, working as the librarian's assistant is when they could finally have some peace and quiet, alongside the librarian, who became the player's good friend

Ok! Bonus Stuff!

With the player's kidnapping and life within the Silver Kingdom, a few bonus relationships the player can have are with Silverbell, Mercury Knight, Pure Vanilla, and of course White Lily. SB and Mercury are like childhood friends/crushes, having met the player before the events of the main game, making the player more acquainted toward them. White Lily and Pure Vanilla on the other hand, take a parental role, acting as the player's protectors much later in the game. Both are relatively more alien to the player, especially White Lily, but the two quickly insert themselves, insisting that they only want to keep the player safe(which makes sense considering their mission is to protect Cookiekind, and the player certainly counts) Out of the two, it's White Lily we end up getting the closest with(a mother + child bond if you will), as Guardian Of The Seal, she was horrified to find out the player was being held hostage by the beasts, and wanted to do anything in her power to save them. She also took a liking to their personality (which's fine I guess???)

It may not look like it, but this game is all about choice. It's about the ideas and importance of choice, how decisions affect your life, how even bigger decisions are often made by selfish people, and (I'm probably gonna get publicly executed for this!-) how a democracy should be handled, because let's be honest, we need a better one. . . We'll see plenty examples of a bad democracy among the beasts, as Shadow Milk, the proclaimed "leader" constantly makes choices for others, in reality only thinking about himself; it's through the player he learns to give the others a say in the matter. Speaking of which, it's the player's choices that will have the most impact as the story continues, like how most games do, the only difference is that the game provides a much wider buffet of choices, making the opportunities endless!

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If you're reading this then, Congratulations!

You Made It To The End!

Here's A Trophy!🏆(for both me and you cause omfg this took FOREVER! I'm happy with the final result but like- I never thought this would take like 5 weeks to make ;w;)

If I could go back in time, I would've definitely made this shorter. . !

If you any other ideas for this strange fangame, then feel free to let me know!~

Ok, bye!~^^

*decomposes into the soil*

[cookierunauprompts]

Okay, okay hear me out.

This is an idea me and onesies thought of..

So you can go where ever direction you want with this prompt

But I give you

Shadow milk with hypnotism

Anon how does it feel to have the biggest brain I've ever seen?/pos

Requested Prompts #3 - 💓

You had gotten separated from your friends when the beast had escaped, the blast of energy knocking you a decent way out of the fairy kingdom and into Beast Yeast... Thank God that White Lily Cookie had managed to seal up the rift before the other four could get out beforehand. One gigantic cookie to fight against was enough after all. It was rather unfortunate that you got blasted into a rather dark part of the forest, you felt like there were eyes watching your every single movement. You wandered around, a chill seeping into your dough as you remembered Shadow Milk Cookie's words before you all got blasted away... " Ready or not, here I come! Ehe he he ha ha hah~!" Was this all like a game to the giant beast? The thought terrified you, you should hide, and quick. So you looked around for a hiding place, any kind would be good so long as it was a good one. Was it just you, or could you hear his laughter echoing through the trees? it was totally just you, right? Apparently the universe loves to prove you wrong, seeing as two giant cookie hands slam down onto the ground at both your sides as a humongous shadow is cast over you. " Peek-a-boo~ I see you~!" You could hear Shadow Milk Cookie almost mockingly coo as you turned around and fell on your backside out of fear. How'd he find you so quickly?! " Oh my dear, there's no need to be scared!" He chuckled, scooping you up in one giant hand. If there was a chance you could escape unscathed before, then it was certainly gone by now. " After all, you've got me here!" " Wh-what do you want from me?!" You stammer out, voice catching in your throat one he stared down at you with those absolutely humongous heterochromatic blue eyes of his. You felt like a new piece of candy in a candy store being examined by at kid to determine if it's worth eating or not. The overgrown jester sighed, putting a hand to his head in an exasperated manner. " Oh, woe is me! The rare moment I find kindness in my heart to bestow upon another cookie, they be ever so rude about it!" He dramatically sulked, you almost felt bad for the guy... almost. " But! Such a small little treat like you shouldn't be wandering the forests of Beast-Yeast alone! No no no no no! That wouldn't do at all!" He proclaimed, suddenly a lot more cheerful that it almost gave your emotional whiplash. With his other hand, he tilted your head up so you'd be staring right into his vibrant gaze. Was it just you, or were his eyes swirling? " So just trust in me alone, and I'll get you somewhere safe~" You can feel something worming it's way into your head. Why shouldn't you trust Shadow Milk Cookie? Maybe he's just a huge softie under all that malice and mischief. No, no, he definitely tried to crumble your friends earlier. But he's so strong, and you're just a weak little cookie who can barely fight off the monsters of Beast-Yeast on their own- Wait. " Gah! No! Get out.... of my head!" You squirmed away from his grasp, shutting your eyes as you buried your face into his hand. You refused to be mind controlled by this... this giant clown! You could hear him laughing again, a sound that haunted your ears as you felt him tenderly stroke your back in a way that made your shiver. " Eheh he heh~ It's really cute when you try to resist," He purred, flipping you onto your back with a simple maneuver. Then, to your absolute shock, he lent down and kissed your forehead...? " I like you, Reader Cookie!" He chirped. What.... what even was that?! He kissed you!? That- what- That's certainly not a normal thing to happen! Your guard had been lowered into the ground and buried, allowing Shadow Milk Cookie to worm his way into your mind without any issues whatsoever. Your vision felt hazy, what were you doing again? Oh, right, staring into Shadow Milk Cookie's eyes... They really were pretty eyes, so many pretty shades of blue swirling around in them. But before that? ... Does it really matter? Shadow Milk laughed from above, his voice echoing all around the forest.

" There we go~! That wasn't so hard now, wasn't it Little Star?" He cooed, stroking your face gently with his hand. It was an almost tender motion, you weren't really sure what to make of it. " Now, why don't we go and find your friends? I'm sure that they're dying to reunite with you!" You slowly nodded, right, your friends… Your friends? You… don't quite remember their faces, but it'll come to you eventually… you hope. " Eheh he he he he~! One down, five to go~" Shadow milk cackled to himself as he began walking through the forests of Beast-Yeast with you in hand.

[shelbgrey]

Hey, sweetie! Could you do something for “Being Harry Potter's twin sister?”. You know... Their whole trajectory, their discovery of Sirius and Remus (who might be her godfather). She has an unusual friendship with Neville and the Weasleys (especially the twins and Fred, who she has a crush on and is fully reciprocated with). Thanks for the attention 🌷🩶.

Being Harry Potter's Twin sister Headcanons:

Paring: Fem!Reader x Brother!Harry Potter, Fem!Reader x Fred Weasley.

Summary: your life as the chosen one's sister.

A/n: so I might split this up with each year. Sorry this took so long and it's not edited.

🧡Master List 🧡Potter MasterList

So I feel like you and Harry would be totally different, and it might sound stereotypical, but you look like your mom with your dad's eyes.

Also you do have a scar, I looks like Harry's but it's on your wrist.

Most muggles and wizards forget your twins beacuse you look nothing alike.

With Harry I think he trusts adults a little too quick, with the treatment the Dursly's caused I think you'd have major trust issues. You only really trust Harry.

Harry is almost extremely over protective of you and sometimes thinks he's the older brother because he happens to be taller and five minutes older. “you know I'm five minutes older than you, right?”

“why does that bloody matter?”

Harry would do anything to keep you safe from Dudley and the other Dursley, I think Petunia would be harsher on you because you remind her so much of Lily and Dudley just think it's a game to terrioz you.

“keep your hands off her!” Harry shouted and pushed your cousin off you aching body.

People Don't know how relieved you were to get your Hogwarts letter.

Year one:

Like I said before you don't trust people as easy as Harry does, so when Hagrid came to rescue you two you were very reluctant and let Harry do most of the talking.

I'd say the Dursly's treatment causes you to be jumpy and very much aware of your surroundings, meaning you were hiding behind Harry when Hagrid came by.

But you learned to trust him during the trip to Digon Ally, he got Harry an owl and you a Ferrett named Seeley.

You also discovered your wand was related to The 'murder' Sirius Black's wand.

The first person you'd actually meet first is Fred and George, Hagrid had taken you to a candy shop in Digon ally and you both were after the last box of all flavor beans.

“you go ahead” he smiled when he saw you flinch back. “no, you” you respond.

Fred shook his head with a smile and handed you the colorful box. “no, you shouldn't take things from a pretty lady” that made you blush and take the box nervously.

And saved by the bell wizard, Harry called your name. “I got it go... Bye”

He didn't even get your name. Fred watched you run away with hearts in his eyes. George looked at him confused when he saw no candy in his hands.

“Georgie, I think I'm in love” he smiled like an idiot.

George, not knowing how to respond smiled.

When you got to Hogwarts you met Neville Longbottom and Draco Malfoy.

You had found Neville's Toad Trevor and was the one to return him. I think Neville would be star struck with you, your kindness to him and how pretty you were, he definitely had a crush on you immediately.

With Draco he just had infatuation, with Fred and Neville it was actual attraction(Neville more at the time) but with the Blonde Slytherin he saw you as someone he could get back at his parents with. The daughter of Lilly and James, Lucicus hated them and his eyes it would be a perfect opportunity to rebell a little.

You saw right threw him, you may not trust people immediately, but you do like to get to know them before you pass judgment. Draco lost your judgment as soon as he disrespected Ron and the rest of the Weasleys.

“listen you little Ferrett, leave Ron and his family alone”

I don't think the twins would take you being teased lightly, Fred didn't really care what Draco thought about him but him saying something about you or George is usually the last straw.

Anyway, the sorting hat didn't know what house to put you in. He was stuck between Ravenclaw and Gryffindor. “your a lot smarter than people give you credit for...your also brave, maybe even braver than your brother”

The hat did consider your feelings, he didn't just put you in Gryffindor because you were afraid to be separated from Harry, he did because he wanted to prove how brave and strong you were.

Gryffindor was ecstatic to have both Potters, especially Fred and George. They both cheered with the rest of their house mates and gave you the empty spot next to them.

With that I think you'd have your own trio, you are very close to Hermione and Ron both, but your defently best friends with the twins.

Your also close with Neville, people might think your a body guard and would even teas him for it, but you actually love Neville company and think he's tougher than he relizes.

Some people might not realize you got on the Quidditch team beofer Harry, you became a Chaser.

During your first game the twins wouldn't leave your side, Fred was afraid you'd get hurt. I think the whole team was considering you were a first year.

Harry's broom was the only one that was supposed to get jinxed but you got in the way. You got swang around like crazy while the twins and Oliver tried to help you. It drove Harry crazy he couldn't help you, but he had his own jinxed broom to deal with too.

Ron and Hermione of course thought it was Snape, but it wasn't. He was concentrated on helping you... Even more than Harry.

You remind him of Lily... like a lot, so I think it would make him less biter towrds you. Yeah it'll hurt him to see you at first, but I think he wouldn't be harsh on you like he is Harry.

During the holiday we know Harry saw your parents in the mirror of erase, but as much as you loved your parents I don't think that's what you saw. You can't change the past, so you just wanted some kind of family. So when you looked in the mirror you saw the Weasleys.

You and the twins had been extremely close, especially Fred. During the holidays Molly sent you a sweater with your initial and Fred got you a paracord bracelet with a heart charm. He and george had matching ones(minus the heart) so at the time it was friendship bracelets.

When you went to see the mirror by your self Professor McGonagall cought you, she really liked you and thought you were a bright student. You don't get to show it much because Hermione always beats you too it.

Speaking of professors and Hogwarts staff, I think Hagrid would help you discover your love for animals and magical creatures. Which ment you were pissed when Draco ragged about Hagrid's baby dragon.

Your love for magical creatures also helps you and the golden trio get passed Fluffy the three headed dog.

You and Hagrid bonded over talking about animals and you guys grew closer because of that.

It still bewilders Ron how you saw innocents in the dog and though he was cute.

You didn't want to go back to the Dursly's, but with the events that transpired this year you were afraid to stay at Hogwarts too, but you couldn't help but love the place, as dangerous as it was it was also safe and full of wonderful people.

Year two:

So for starters I think Doby would annoy the hell out of Harry's sister and I think she would be pissed off he was at the Dursly's warring them instead of Ginny or Hermione or even Colin.

So when you got back from Hogwarts you and Harry did have to share Dudley's second bedroom, it was cramped and always hot, but it was better than living under the staircase.

So, remember when the Dursly's tried to stop Harry from going to the Burow with the Weasley's? Well Harry did get in their little blue Angler, but when he did Vernon grabed you causing Fred to jump through the window and get you.

Molly would be so happy to see you again and even kinda embarrassed Fred. “y/n darling, I'm so glad your hear... Fred hear wouldn't shut up about you all summer”

“mom!” Fred look embarrassed while George was trying to cover his laughter for his brother's sake.

The burow is big but it's also cramped at times, so you and the twins share a room, your best friends and your comfortable with each other. Your just kids right now and there's no dirty thoughts to it just three best friends having a sleep over.

Thoses night Fred found out about your nightmares, George is a heavy but one night you woke up Fred when you were tossing and whimper beacuse of them. You only remember your parents death in your dreams and currently your adventures from last year.

Fred comferted you through out the night. He didn't make you talk about it, just held you. George teased you guys when he woke up the next morning and saw you guy cuddling. You guys let it slide since he didn't know the situation.

But, During your stay I think you'd grow closer to George, your both the quieter of the twins and are usually the followers. You would tell him you hated all the attention being Harry's sister brings.

Fred would get jealous, really jealous but he loves you both too much to bring it up. George knows how much Fred cares about you and your relationship with George is strictly Platonic.

George knows Fred like the back of his hand and he told him that. “you know we're just friends, right? I'd never hurt you like that”

Speaking of friends, since it's ginny's first year you and the twins are all pretty protective, which ment you were about to kick Draco's teath out when he was hassling her at the book shop in Digon ally.

“touch her and it'll be the last thing you ever do”

You also despise Lockheart, You and the twins spend most of the year messing with him. Especially when it comes to quizes about himself.

“my favorite smell isn't the ass of a hairless dog!” Lockheart yelled after reading our answers.

You broke your arm during the Quidditch match where Draco and Harry we're going add it. The people and the teams were too busy watching your brother to realize you got knocked off your broom.

Fred cought you before you could hit the ground and he took you to madam Pomfrey with George and Hagrid's help.

That day you realized since you weren't the chosin one like Harry you weren't that inresting. But that didn't matter to your closest people. To Fred you were the greatest thing to ever enter hogwarts.

He stayed with you the entire time and helped you with assignments till you got better.

You weren't part of this year's adventure. You were too worried about taking care of Ginny and Hermione.

Years 3:

So after the whole blowing up aunt marge incident you went to the Burow(in this universe you go straight there).

You told the twins about aunt Marge and they couldn't stop laughing. You now call it "the incident" and it kinda became inside joke, Ginny getts annoyed with not knowing what it means.

“you keep saying 'the incident'! What doses that mean?”

You did find about Sirius black and that he was Harry's godfather. You would think he'd be yours too but really it was never confirmed since Lilly wanted Remus to be the godfather.

Remus told you about the once playful argument that James and Lily had about that. I think you'd grow really close to Remus.

He's the first adult you trusted immediately. You tell him everything and he becomes the first ever real father figure you've ever had.

Aurther is kinda of a father figure but you don't want to see him that way since your in love with his son.

Anyway, you find out about Remus being a werewolf just beacuse you were wondering around on a full moon, you weren't scared like a normal person should be which suprised him. You promised to never say anything.

It got annoying when Hermione kept asking werewolf questions when she started to have her suspicions.

You were relieved when you found out Sirius didn't actually kill your parents. You found out Sirius was really fun to be around. While Remus was a shoulder to cry on or sortof a body guard, Sirius was c comedic relief and learned how to make you and Harry laugh.

Year 4:

Your fourth year is when Fred and you really started to act on your feelings. When you went to the Quidditch world cup, Fred kissed you after your favorite team won.

Since death eaters showed up it was short lived and you guys didn't really speak of it till later.

You didn't try to get your name in the goblet of fire like your two best friends, nor was your name put in there.

It was bizarre... You wanted to do it just to prove you were just as brave and important as Harry. Fred helped you relize how important and loved you were during the last two summers, but since your name didn't get put in there like Harry's you felt pushed to the side lines again.

Fred was a little bit upset at your mindset. He didn't want you thinking you were useless but he also didn't want you in danger.

“why would you want to! It's dangerous, I don't know what I'd do If you got hurt!”

Then it turned into an argument. “I want to do It because I'm tired of being in his shadow I want to prove I'm just as strong! And why dose it matter if I was in the tournament or not?”

“beacuse I love you! The Wizarding world might not have chosen you but I do... And I know we're just kids but I do know that I love you”

Your heart melt and if felt like all your walls came crashing down. You knew you were important to him, but it finally clicked that you were is first choice from the beginning. No Harry, no chosin crap, he just wanted you.

You had your first real kiss in mouths. A rough but passionate kiss. He poured so mush love and emotion in it, he wanted to prove he wanted you and only you.

Then you became a couple, a few side problems kinda showed up. Hermione and Krum, then you and Neville... He wanted to asks you out so bad but then he finally had the confidence to ask you out he found you and Fred kissing.

You knew when something was bothering Neville, he became stand-offish and wouldn't really talk to you. When he confronted you all his emotions came out. He told you everything and even end his rant that he rather have you as a friend than not having you at all.

“but then I realized our friendship means more to me than anything, I'm happy for you and Fred but I don't want to lose my best friend”

“You won't...”

The Yule Ball was so much fun, you of course went with Fred and everything was perfect.

Having Cedric die was hard, you wernt close to him but having him die made you appreciate you brother again. You two became distant since you felt put on the side lines, but when you thought about Harry dying you couldn't help but cry.

“you and me against the universe” Harry said after you talked about it to him. “I'll always protect you and I'm sorry if you felt like I pushed you away”

Harry really did feel bad, but he felt even worse when he found out about you and Fred. He's been so busy he didn't even know you have a boyfriend for like three months.

He was happy for you both, he trust you'd be treated right and didn't feel like he had to put up an over protective brother facade.

Year 5:

So Remus is defently over protective and put the fear of murlin in Fred, but he knew Fred was a good guy.

You and Fred also worked hard to get Tonks and Remus together. You knew how much he loved her but he wouldn't act upon it.

Also with Voldemort back you were eager to join the order of the Phoenix, even if you weren’t old enough. And you better believe Fred would be right behind you.

“I'm in” you said.

“NO!” Remus and Sirius both said at the same time.

Okay so it's your fith year and Fred's last year, it's kinda of upsetting but it just encourages you guys to make the most of the year.

You love helping the boys sell their products and even help come up with some new ideas.

Rather the product are safe or not your usually the one to sell the product to fellow classmates, especially the females. George says to can sell a drowning man water.

The year was great... Till the pink monster showed up and started changing everything.

She got under Fred's skin like crazy and Umbridge knew it, he didn't really care what she did to him, took away one of his prank toys he doesn't care he'll just make a new one but what he didn't lightly is when you had to endore one of her detentions.

You didn't want the boys knowing or worry Fred and Harry. He accidentally found out when he grabed your soar hand the wrong way.

“I'm gonna end her!”

You had to grabe him and convince him if he did anything he'd get kicked out of school... Which he didn't care.

You knew about them dropping out and you even help plan their excape.

After they left Fred wrote to you almost every day, filling you in about the shop and telling you about the success.

You couldn't be more proud of them and even planed on working there that summer but the end of there made you forget about it.

Sirius had died protecting you, Bellatrix was about to use the same spell on you that she used on Mr. And mrs. Longbottom. Neville tried to protect you but Sirius bet him to it the only cost was his life.

During the summer you mostly stayed with the twins and worked at the shop, things got better and Fred worked hard to cheer you up.

He loves spending most of his time with you and doesn't really care if people see.

“your not supposed to get handsy with the staff” you joked.

“I won't tell if you want”

Year 6:

Not Much happened... That concerned you at least. You spent most of your year hanging out with Neville and Luna.

Harry and the other two were to busy worrying about Draco and you just didn't have the energy to care.

You quite the Quidditch team after an acadent last year so you usually helped Luna or who ever narrat the game.

You did worry about Draco though, he looked so alone and no one really cared, all Harry cared about was proving he was doing something wrong.

He grew so much respect for you when you found him crying, you didn't judge him like he expected... Just let him cry.

You filled Fred and George in about the closet stuff and how the school is going down hill.

After the school year you went home with the twins after Dumbledore's funeral, as awful as it might sound you weren't too affected by his death. You felt like Dumbledore never really cared about you or your brother.

Year 7:

So you spent most of the Summer paining and decorating for Billy's wedding, it was a good distraction.

During the battle of the seven Harry's George protected you because the death eaters would expect you to be with Fred, George got his ear blown off because he was protecting you.

After the wedding got ambushed you ended up going with the golden trio, Fred tried to go after you but Charlie stoped him I'm fear for his brother.

You spent most of the time listing to the radio with Ron, making sure George or Fred's name isn't mentioned.

During the battle of Hogwarts the twins didn't leave your side.

“you okay freddie? Y/n?” George asked.

“I'm scared” you admitted. Fred pulled you to his side and held you while George held your free hand. “I won't let anything hurt you”

When things got really heated during the battle you got separated from the two, you and George ended up meeting up in what used to be the charms room.

You started to panic when you didn't see Fred. “Wait, where's fred”

George couldn't stop you and ran in search for him, before you could even register what was happening Fred shielded you from a killing curse.

Even if your brother won the battle you lost the love of your life, you didn't really want to see anyone except George and even that hurt... Looking at his face and seeing the same eyes and freckles.

George promised if anything happens to Fred he'd make sure you'd be alright.

Super mega happy ending:

So if you chose this ending Fred didn't die, you guys got betten up but that's all.

A year later you guys got married and you worked as the care of magical creatures professor at the school, during the summer you worked with your husband and brother-in-law.

You had twins, a boy and a girl. Fred cried when he found out you'd he having twins.

George and Angelina were of course the god parents.

You are very protective of your kids, always making sure they're okay and on the anniversary of your parents death your twins sleep with you.

Your daughter is just like Fred, a total minnis in the best way possible, your son is the quieter one... Much like you and George.

Your twins joined the Quidditch team and got sorted into Gryffindor like every other Potter and Weasley.

You couldn't be more happy or proud of your family.

[jamespottersdaisy]

It's blue, the feeling I've got

Remus Lupin x fem!reader

Is it really worth it to run from the hurt if running hurts you all the same?

5k

thank you @tendous-pretty-hair for the prompt!

author's note- kinda like grumps x sunshine except remus is the sunshine here, trust issues?

You grimace at the filthiness on the floor, your eyes scanning for the target.

Your quill.

You are not in a comfortable position, your torso stooping while you support yourself with a tight grip on the desk. One more inch forward, and you are certain you will fall, and yet the quill is nowhere to be found.

It’s not hard to feel the annoyance building up. It’s merely a feather, for God’s sake, how far can you possibly drop it? But again, it is a feather; what keeps it from floating out of the window?

You hear your name and straighten yourself. You can feel the blood circulation visiting your fingertips from the change of positions.

You turn your head and stare at Remus with a frown, who, in turn, has a tiny smile on his face. His smile wouldn’t be noticeable if you weren’t used to heeding every detail about him.

“Here,” he says and stretches out his hand to you with a quill in it. It’s not yours, but it will suffice. 

Your countenance doesn’t soften even though your heart flutters at his widening smile. You should offer him a smile or at least relax your brows or something to let him know your gratitude. 

But you just mumble a quick thanks before turning. 

He doesn’t seem to mind. He never seems to mind your rudeness somehow. 

“Don’t look at me like you want to commit a murder,” he says, his eyes not leaving the paper before you. Your paper. Your ripped paper. 

“I’m thinking about it,” you scowl. 

“I’ll fix it, don't worry,” Remus smiles. You wouldn’t mind a ripped parchment if you hadn’t already written three thousand words on it. 

“Not like you have any other options.”

He finally looks at you, and you expect a bitter expression at your words. But his eyes are still tender, and his smile still bright. 

“I’ll even bring you pudding afterwards as an apology.”

Sometimes you would come across as rude, not because you intended to, but because your lips work faster than your mind. 

“Remus made your cake!” Lily says and looks at you with emerald eyes filled with joy. She looks beautiful in her green dress that you’re sure she bought specifically for your surprise birthday party.

“Why?” you ask because you don’t understand why he would bother when he could’ve just bought it.

Everyone looks at you like you just screamed in a library. You should’ve probably said thanks instead of blurting the first thing that crossed your mind. Remus doesn’t seem to care, though.

“Because it is your birthday,” he says and pushes you by the shoulders to sit on the sofa. He takes the cake and kneels before you. “Make a wish.”

You look at his eyes, and his hair and his lips. You notice how they look…a bit too perfect.  You realise it’s been more than a few seconds, and no one makes a wish this long. 

You blow out the candles. 

Other times, it would be because you don’t know what to do exactly.

You raise your head when a sandwich enters your eyesight.

“You haven’t eaten today,” Remus says and sits beside you. You watch him open his book and shuffle through the pages.

“How did you know?”

“We’ve been studying since morning,” he raises an eyebrow at you. “It’s nighttime.”

You hum and say nothing more. You didn’t know he was paying attention to that detail. 

You open the sandwich and take a bite, satisfying your hunger. You want to thank him and talk to him, engage in some friendly conversation. But your mouth is full, and you don’t know what to talk about. You don’t want to speak while chewing, and you don’t know how other people manage to talk with someone so easily.

You feel bad that you never treat him with the same kindness he has for you.

By the time you grasp an opportunity to open your mouth, he’s already asking about your favourite drink.

That’s why you have a strange infatuation with Remus. Not like the way you care for James or Lily. It’s a bit different. 

You never catch yourself staring at James’s lips when he’s talking. You never want to play with Lily’s hair. And you surely never think about your other friends before bed. 

Anyhow, you’re too busy to dwell on those feelings or act on them.

At the end of the class, you want to return Remus his quill. You walk up to him, and he sends his friends away. You offer him the quill ashe smiles. 

“Keep it,” he says and starts walking with you. 

You think so hard about what to ask him, how to hear his voice, how to make him smile at you. Maybe you should ask him what he thinks of cats. But what if he doesn’t like cats? You should go a bit simpler, then. However, before you decide to ask him about his day, he’s already voicing some words.

“What?”

"I said you seem tired," he speaks softly, glancing at you while letting you leave the class first.

You are tired. You were up all night, studying.

"I didn't sleep well," you shrug. "Homework."

"Did you finish it?"

You nod with an accompanied 'uh-huh'. 

"Would you mind helping me?"

You are sure he is already done with his homework. 

"Didn't you, like, finish it two days ago?"

"I did mine, yes. But," he inhales deeply, and you know he's about to ask a favour from his stiffened shoulders. "You know how I help other students in the library sometimes?"

Oh, no.

"Yes?" you crunch your brows.

"I was hoping you could help me out a bit today."

"Why?"

"Because I need your help."

"That's what I'm asking. Why?"

He stares at you before you two start climbing the stairs. You'll later realise that wasn't the best thing to ask at that moment and scold yourself for it.

"I'm having a hard time handling all of them by myself."

"You can always just stop holding study sessions," you point out. "But I'll help you."

He smiles. "Thank you–"

"Only for today."

Remus nods several times, his hair tousling. "Only for today."

You don’t enjoy the company of too many people, mainly because of your awkwardness. Albeit you love helping people, you’d rather do it not in front of dozens. 

Only for today.

Besides, you love spending time with Remus.

“How about Mistletoe Berry?”

“Yeah, you should use it–”

“Why not Silverweed?”

“It doesn’t mix well with the berry,” you say, trying to help all five of the students at once. Somehow, your regard for the teachers is changing a bit because of all this. 

“Can you check my essay?” a boy asks, and you nod. 

The moment you take the parchment in your hand, a girl decides to challenge you with some complicated questions that you won’t be able to reply to without focusing on her. 

“Just a moment–”

“Yeah, sure, can you check my essay too afterwards?”

Why the hell does Remus do this?

He doesn’t even get paid for this headache.

You glance at him, seeing that he’s doing much better than you are. At least he has a smile on his face indicating that he actually enjoys holding these study sessions. 

You take in his unfairly beautiful looks, trying your best not to get lost in his smile. You fail when he looks at you. 

He laughs at your frown, mouthing something that you don't quite catch. You frown a bit more, and he moves his lips again. In the end, you give up and roll your eyes before averting them back to the parchment.

You don't see his smile lingering on your frame. 

Remus doesn't notice that he's staring. You don't notice, either. The students do, though.

They see how his eyes soften when they are on you, just like your frown melts into a somewhat smile when you talk to him. They see how he's much more patient with you and how less grumpy you are with him. 

"I don't think she enjoys being here," a boy with raven hair and tanned skin speaks to Remus, pulling him back into the moment. 

Remus shakes his head, his lips still curled up. He lowers his head to the books before him. 

"She just doesn't like people, Charlie," he says, eyes scanning the essays and looking for any mistakes. 

Charlie doesn’t seem convinced. 

"She likes you, doesn't she?"

"Well,” Remus hesitates for a moment. He thinks of the right thing to say, “That's different."

It is different, and Remus knows this too well. It would be an insult to his intelligence to think that he has never noticed small things. 

You dither what to say to him, take your time with your words, and your faltering smile blooms flowers in his heart. Remus is smart enough to take heed of your soft demeanour when he is near. You don’t sulk when he walks with you around the castle, and you don’t frown when he is making lame jokes. 

Sometimes he would even notice you staring at him adorningly when you think he is not aware. The way your eyes caress every blemish on his face would make him want to crash his lips onto yours to quench the fire in his core. But he would withhold. 

Seeing a reserved one like you crack a smile, sing a laugh, and gift a loving glance just for him could not not do things to him. How could your soft spot for Remus in your heart not emerge gardens for you in his soul?

It was impossible. However, he would never act on any feeling that stormed in him. Not because he was too proud but because he wanted you to acknowledge them first. He wanted you to drop your high walls a bit, open up to him and show him that you are indeed willing to embrace your emotions. 

He never pushes you, but sometimes he would wish that he did. Moments like this, knowing that you could do something you are not entirely comfortable with just on his request, would urge him to voice words that he knows for a fact would scare you off. 

So he keeps silent for now. 

“How is it going?” he asks, walking up to you. He has never seen you this uncomfortable in an environment before. Dozens of students nagging and shoving papers on the table, carelessly shuffling everything. 

You immediately look up to him and push some parchments to his chest. 

“Great,” you say, “Do me a favour and read these, yeah? I am a bit busy with…”

You stare at the five essays before you and sigh. “...these.”

Soft tunes of Remus’s chuckle greet your soul, and while you are more than happy to listen to it forever, you arch a brow at him. 

“In my defence, you look funny,” he holds his hands in the air.

“You don’t get to laugh at me after putting me into this position,” you mutter, albeit your lips fracture into a subtle smile. 

“I didn’t force you, did I? You agreed to help,” Remus starts tidying the table for you. 

“Damn my helpful nature then.”

“Hang on, it’s almost nine,” he glances at the clock in the library. “You’ll be free to go in five.”

“Who’s gonna clean the whole mess?”

“I am,” he sits next to you and points out the mistakes of the essay to its writers. 

You look at him for a moment before focusing back on the ink on the paper. You have no intention of leaving him alone to clean after those guys without you, but you don’t say that to him. Mainly because you don’t see any need to. But also because you don’t want others to think that something is…different with Remus.

It is none of their business, after all. At least, that’s what you always tell yourself. 

Not that you are too scared to let your feelings surface, you despise being vulnerable, or you lock up your weaknesses because you are afraid of being hurt. It’s just not their business. 

That’s why you try to suffice with the glances, jokes, and smiles when it comes to Remus. That’s why you never entertain the thought of his arms around your waist or your head against his shoulder or even his lips against yours. You never think about if they would feel soft or chapped when he kisses you, if he would place his hands on your hips or your cheek, if he would crash into you before pushing you against a wall or be gentle by caressing your face and slowly leaning in. You never think about if his kiss would lead to something more as he sinks lower to your neck–

“Stop staring into space and read it,” Remus calls without looking at you. 

“I was reading it,” you scowl, feeling a fire in your core. You don’t look at him; you are sure it won’t help with the fire. His chestnut hair and shaped jawline have never helped with anything except fueling the yearning for him in you. 

Remus simply mouths a satirical hum.

After long minutes of tortuous readings, students were thanking you as they got ready to leave. You simply put on a smile– which Remus was sure of being forced– and said that ‘it was totally okay’. 

“Was it?” he whispers to you, lowering his head to match your ear. You move your head to look him in the eye, only to almost bump into his nose. You take a step back.

“Was it what?”

“Totally okay?” he grins, and you are not sure if it is because of your reluctance to be so close to him. 

“It was indeed,” you turn your back to him and start tidying the place. 

“You don’t have to–”

“I want to,” you cut him off, knowing what he’s gonna say. You don’t have to help him clean. You just want to be near him…for some reason.

“On your charitable day, eh?”

“That makes you a charity case.”

He laughs before you can overthink your words. You don’t feel a smile creeping up on your lips, but Remus feels his heart warm up at the sight. 

He places himself next to you, hands stretching out to grab the useless papers. Your arms are crashing, but you don’t complain like you would if it was someone else. 

“Thank you,” he says, and you look at him. Your smile widens, and Remus can swear he saw your eyes twinkling. 

“Anytime,” you nod but shake your head right after. “Not anytime. It was tiring. But whenever it’s a life or death situation.”

“If I didn’t know you, I would say you’re a bad person.”

“Good thing you know me, then.”

 Remus forces himself to focus on the task at hand. That’s what happens when you offer him a tiny smile or a joyful laugh. It’s distracting. It makes him want to do and say bold things that he knows are not the right time.

Still, he manages to keep his attention on the litter and not your velvety smile. 

You are running with a deep frown on your face, your eyes looking for the best spot to shield yourself from the roaring gas back in the classroom. İt is as ugly looking as it smells disgusting. 

And you know damn well who is responsible for that spectacle. 

It’s not like you could somehow protect yourself from the side effects of their pranks. No matter how close of a friend you are to the Marauders, you are never immune to their misbehaving.

Thus, there you are, sprinting out of the room with the hopes of escaping the wrath of…

You didn’t know what it was, to be exact, but it surely made you gag.

Your eyes are scanning the surroundings, estimating the best route of escape for you, when you feel yanked by your arm. 

Before you know it, you are in a room filled with barrels, brooms and weird-looking skulls on the shelves. 

“What the–”

“Hi.”

Your frown deepens, and you are sure you will have wrinkles around your forehead when you are old. 

“Remus?”

He smiles sheepishly. “How you doing?”

“What are you doing?”

“Saving your ass from stinking,” he shrugs as you take in the room. It smells of wood, and the dust makes you sneeze. “Bless you.”

“Why are you here?” you ask, sniffling. 

“To save your ass from stinking,” he repeats, and you ogle at him. 

“Attaboy then,” you murmur, walking around the Artefact Room. 

You don’t see it, but Remus’s eyes travel in the room with you. They take in your every movement, especially when you raise your hand to touch the skulls. 

"Aren't they dirty?" he asks, and you pull your hand away.

"You are the one who chose this room."

"Weird way to say thanks, but you're welcome," he steps forward a bit awkwardly.

You roll your eyes at him and realise that you don't beat yourself up for your inept interactions with him anymore. They feel natural, enjoyable even. The feeling almost makes you smile.

"Thanks," you say to him, knowing that you are thanking him for an entirely different reason than he thinks. 

He waves his hand and turns away. He points to a blackboard, dirty with dust, fading away.

"Did you know you can draw anything in your mind by touching this board?"

"I can?" you step up, eyes on Remus.

"No, of course not," he laughs, "It's just a blackboard."

You stop in your tracks and give him a look that makes him chuckle.

"Sorry," he smiles, "Just wanted to hear your voice. Not my fault that you don't talk much."

Your heart takes a leap at his words, your mind suggesting too many claims that you can not keep up. You don't stay stuck with them, not right now. You let his words lead you on.

"You're the only person I talk to too much," you say, and Remus takes another step towards you.

"That's a confession," he raises his eyebrows. 

His heart is hammering in his chest, but he's too focused on your lips to mind it. He's been waiting for this. For a moment that you would let him see a glimpse of the person behind the frown.

"I can confess much more," you murmur mindlessly, regretting it on the spot. 

You shouldn't have said that. It's more than what you've allowed yourself. It's a crack in your walls. 

You're hoping that he's going to smile and nod and move on. You're hoping so hard that he's not going to dwell on it.

"Like what?"

Of course, he is going to dwell on it. He's going to dig and make sure to leave no brick on your walls.

You won't let him, though. You can't. 

You gaze at his brown eyes, taking in the intense hope and desire. You can't let those orbs bury you, it's too early to give in to their affection. You're struggling to get to the surface, saving yourself from his infatuating arms.

"Like how I can fall asleep anywhere," you blurt out the first thing that comes to mind, wishing for it to be enough to move the topic.

Remus shakes his head, and the next thing you know, his hands are on your wrists, his face close to yours. You refuse to raise your head and look him in the eye, insisting on staring at his shoulders.

"Don't do that," he whispers.

He can feel the nerves in every inch of his skin stretch out, urging him to act recklessly. He has already seen the glimpse of light between the crack of your walls; there's no turning back for him. He wants your light to ignite his soul, and he's ready to fight for it.

"What?" you ask, this time resting your eyes on his. They are darker, or maybe you're just confused because of the suffocating distance.

"Don't close yourself off," his one hand slowly glides up across your skin, taking your chin between his thumb and forefinger. "It's not fair."

Your heart is in your stomach, storms raging in your core, ready to rain with his one movement. 

You are fighting with your shadow, struggling to grant the boy the well-deserved light.

"Remus, what–"

"It's not fair, dove. Stop torturing us," he cuts you off, and you hold your breath when he leans in. 

His actions are painfully slow as if he's testing your limits. By the time you can feel his hot breath on your lips, your whole body is screaming his name, ready to melt under his touch.

It's what you've always wanted; you know that. To know how his lips would feel, where his hands would rest, and what he would whisper to you before taking your breath away.

The answer to all your questions lies only an inch away, and your skin is aflame with expectations.

You close your eyes when he brushes his lips against yours, breaths mingling, hands intertwining, and bodies begging to be held.

Just a second more and you'll finally rest;just a moment more and your walls will crumble, and just an inch more and his rain will take care of your garden.

"I won’t kiss you until you let me in," he whispers, and you frown.

Before you can register his words in your mind, the door of the room is being put to the test. Remus takes a few large steps back, his darkened eyes still gazing into yours.

The next thing you hear is James begging Remus to teach him the spell that will 'get rid of the stench'.

The next few days were nothing but a headache for you. The biggest battle you’ve ever fought has been torturing your mind, your heart and head clashing brutally. 

Your heart is begging you to smile at the love that’s waiting for you, rooting for you, ready to embrace you. Your mind is reminding you of each and every bitter memory that made you who you are right now, that built up your walls and cast a shadow on your smile.

It’s not an easy fight, especially when you're fighting it alone. Silent and peaceful nights are the worst. Your mind replaying the memory like a film to remind you what you’re losing, but also lurking behind to whisper all of your dreadful doubts to your ear. 

You will get hurt again. You know you will. That’s what it is to trust someone, to love someone, to let yourself be vulnerable before them. You can’t love Remus without accepting the risk of getting hurt. You know it all too well.

You just can’t accept the risk.

You are not ready for your heart to shatter again, for your tears to cry a river, and for your soul to suffer through many times. It's not fair. It’s not fair that you can’t be happy without being hurt. 

You are too tired of being hurt. 

The strength in you can not handle another knife in the heart. 

It’s not fair. 

That was what Remus said. 

You groan and push your head to your hands. 

It is not fair to offer him a smile when you know you want to hide behind a frown. It’s not fair to let him brush his lips against yours when you know you want to put distance between your bodies. It is not fair to find his frame in every room when you know you should let him down slowly instead of letting your eyes feast on his smile. 

You can’t seem to let him go, and it’s frustrating.

He is looking into your eyes from across the room, and you are sure somewhere in your heart, there is a sting that bleeds. 

“What happened?” Lily asks, and you know she can feel the ice between Remus and you. 

“Nothing,” you say.

That’s what you always say. Never letting yourself find comfort in others, never letting them see the pain surging in you. Lily knows better than that. 

“Do you need me to pester you, or are you going to talk?”

You’re not going to go talk, and she’s going to pester you. She is asking questions until she has all the facts. She is making you talk about every little feeling you have regarding every little thing Remus said. By the time she's done, you feel like you’ve crumbled under the weight of an elephant. 

“And how long do you think you can keep yourself safe like this?” she asks. “You’re going to refuse to trust anyone till what? End of your life?”

You shrug, and she frowns. 

“I’m not gonna tell you what to do,” she stands up, and you remember she has to meet with James. “But is it really worth it to run from hurt if running hurts you all the same?”

“Have fun," you murmur before she leaves. 

That's what echoes in your mind for days. 

‘Is it really worth it to run from hurt if running hurts you all the same?’

At first, you allow yourself longing glances. You don’t break eye contact when he looks over at you across the room. 

Then you slowly offer him a faint smile. You don’t see it, but your eyes light up with your smile. Much to your happiness, he always returns it with a bigger smile. 

With time, you two start talking again. He’s the same person he was weeks ago, you are the one that’s trying to make a change. 

You talk about what makes you happy to him and notice that the next day he has your favourite sweet in his hand.

“You didn’t have to,” you say instead of asking the reason for the gesture. 

“I didn’t intend to,” he chuckles, handing you the sweet you’ve been staring at since it came into view. “But then I remembered that you’ve mentioned liking those.”

“Strong memory.”

“For you.”

 You confide in him about how your day went bad, and he listens for almost an hour.

“You sure there’s nothing I can do?” he asks when you stop talking. 

“Absolutely nothing,” you smile, feeling the burden in your heart vanish.

“I can always put some dog fur on his coat,” Remus offers, his eyes indicating no humour. “I hear he’s allergic.”  

You laugh this time, and his shoulders relax. 

“Where are you going to find the dog fur?”

“I have my ways.”

You even let him hold you sometimes.

“What did you get?” you wonder, eyes filled with genuine curiosity. 

“What do you think?” Remus says, and you falter for a moment. He’s been going on and on about this exam for a long time. Surely he would at least have a grin on his face if it went good, no? But would he be this relaxed if it went bad?

You stare at him a bit long, mouth opening and closing. 

He chortles at your expressions. “Outstanding!” 

You hit him in the arm. “Congratulations, jerk–” and he’s already hugging you. 

You are still frowning and scowling when someone trips on your foot. You still hate Remus’s study sessions in the library, and you still never let James mess with you. 

But you have allowed yourself to open up to Remus, and you know you can do more.

You have been waiting for the right moment to do it. 

You are pacing around the lake. It’s peacefully quiet, and usually, you would appreciate it. Not at this moment, though. Your heartbeats are rapid, your hands a bit sweaty. You rub them together. 

“Do you think we should start with Transfiguration today?” Remus’s voice calls and, you quickly turn around. You scold yourself internally for not noticing that he was approaching. 

“Sure,” you say and sit beside him. 

“You alright?” he narrows his eyes, “You look pale.”

“All good.” 

He nods and starts talking about some stuff that you don’t listen to. Your eyes running around just like your attention. Sometimes they place on Remus’s hands, making you ache for his touch again. The moment is so tense for you that you overthink about his thumb and forefinger that held your chin.

They focus on his neck, too. You are a bit angry at yourself for wanting to put your lips on it. But nothing tops the irritation building up in you when you glance at his hair. You shouldn’t want to run your hands through it, at least not now. You definitely shouldn’t peek at his red lips that urge you to make a mistake. 

“Okay, you are not listening,” he snaps the book closed. “What is wro–”

“I want to kiss you, but I don’t know how,” you say, holding no punches. 

His eyes widen a bit, and his lips part in the look for the right words. He stares into your eyes, making you regret everything and want to get the hell out of there. 

“How about just lean in and–”

“No, you were studying, it would be awkward,” you cut him off, feeling a different type of warmth emerge, sweating your palms.

“I’m not studying now, am I?” he arches a brow, and your breath hitches.

You stay still, taking in everything that’s happening. That’s your cue, it seems. You should take it, you shouldn’t waste it or mess this up–

You swiftly lean in and kiss his lips. 

It’s a quick kiss, one that doesn’t give you a chance to put your hands around him or feel his hold around your body. 

Remus doesn't even have time to react or kiss you back. 

When you pull away, you glance at his face, which is pretty smug. You furrow your brows at him, feeling annoyance paint your expressions. 

“Took you long enough,” he chuckles and places himself closer to you. “Let me.”

You are still frowning when he holds your waist and leans in. You are looking at his eyes with a scowl that makes him imitate you. He mirrors your expression mockingly for a moment before smiling against your lips.

When he kisses you, your face softens, and your eyes close. You feel the cool breeze around your heart that lets you know you made the right choice. Your soul finds peace in that moment, just like your mind that goes quiet for the first time in a long time.

 He deepens the kiss, and you bring your hand to his hair. You can feel the movements getting heated from his tightened grip on your waist and the heavy sigh that comes from you. Just when you bring your hand to stroke his neck, he pulls away, looking at you breathlessly. 

“Just for clarification, this means you like me, right?” 

You roll your eyes as you crash your lips into his, but not before muttering a low ‘yes’.

i don't really know how i feel about this but again i say this about almost everything i write so please let me know what you think <33

thanks for reading!

and if you liked it, buy me a coffee<33

[barbielanno]

Shut up and kiss me

warning : smut

summary: you are oscar's girlfriends' lily's friend and she sets you up with lando norris

“Where are you?”, I text to my bestfriend Lily as I’ve been waiting for her in a cafe for about 20 minutes now. “I’m sorry y/n, I can’t make it. I’m busy but I sent someone to pick you up. Please be nice to him. I told him about you and you’ll recognise him when he comes ;). I hope you are wearing a good pair of innies”. WHAT THE HELL! What does she mean? Who did she send? “Hello Miss. y/n”. LANDO??? SHE SENT LANDO NORRIS TO PICK ME UPPPPPP???? “I’m Lando Norris, Oscar’s teammate. Lily requested me to pick you up, Osc is quite sick and she is keeping him company.” Fuck… the words aren’t coming off my mouth. I’M froze. “Hi Lan, I have seen you on tv. You are more pretty in person. I’m so sorry, I would’ve booked a cab if she texted me earlier. Sorry to waste your time”. “First of all, thank you for calling me pretty as I’m too mesmerised by your beauty. And secondly, I offered Lily to pick you up. I’ve seen your photos with her and thought you were very cute.” DID LANDO NORRIS JUST TOLD ME I’M CUTEEE? ANY LACK OF SELF ESTEEM FROM THESE DAY ONWARDS WOULD BE AN INSULT TO LANDO. WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DOOOOO? I CANNOT TELL THIS MAN THAT I’VE BEEN IN LOVE WITH HIM SINCE 2019. “What are you thinking pretty, are you uncomfortable with me?” “NO, no Lan, I um I uh um I just am starstruck at the moment.” “Haha, so shall we?” He tilts his head hinting me we should go to his car.

“Yes, let’s go” and I follow him. “you have a very pretty car”, I say and he opens the door for me. Ugh!!! Such a gentleman. “now I’ll have a pretty company to drive this pretty car” he replies SUCH A FLIRTTTTTTT. We sat In his car and he drives. Suddenly I get a text from lily. Oscar is having health issues so we are in the hospital. They do not allow visitors at this time so spend time with your crush ;). I sigh looking at text and Lando asks me if everything is alright. I tell him what lily texted and that we cannot go to them right now so he should drop me at the hotel. Lando: “well,  it’s your first time here in London and spending the evening at the hotel is not the most rational thinking. Let me show you the places if you are not uncomfortable.” “Uh no, I’m totally fine but you must be busy considering you have a race next week.” I say. “Trust me y/n, I can make time for you”. Oh my god. He has his way with words. My heart is melting and if I spend even a minute more with him, I’m gonna fall in love with him. He takes me to watch sunset but fuckkkkk uk’s weather. It started raining as we parked the car and went 10 mins up walking. Now idk what to do. I’m drenched and I’m wearing a white shirt.  He looks at me with his intense eyes and gives me his jacket to cover me up. “Uh thank you” I say. “It isn’t for you, it’s for me. I dont wan’t anyone looking at you when you are looking this hot”. What did he just sayyyyy? We rushed back to his car.

“ Look y/n, I really wanted to show you the sunset and ask you out for the coffee and since that didn’t work out because of this damn weather and look at you at the moment. You look so sexy with this wet hair and the white shirt. I’m known to be a good driver but at the moment you are driving me crazy. Please let me take you back to my apartment please?” My heart races as I hear him say those words. I’ve been thinking about him a lot specially when I’m alone at my room but now since it is happening in real life, my brain cannot process this all. We go back to his apartment and it’s amazing. I open the jacket he provided me earlier and give him back. I need to change my outfit. 

I want to ask where the bathroom is but he has been staring at me since I opened the jacket.  “Lando, I um ” . “Don’t look at me with those big brown eyes, I dont know what I’ll do next” he says. Fuck he is so hot, it’s turning me on and his curls are wet and I can’t stop thinking about what’s underneath that shirt of him. “SHOW me”. I say

He looks at me confused and says “what?”. “Show me what you’ll do next”. before I could see his reaction to my words, he pulled me by my waist and kissed me. That kiss, like a fairytale crescendo, outshone every sensation I've ever known. I melted right there. I wanted the time to stop and I didn’t wanna let that man go. He pulled back and looked into my eyes “so you have wanted this no y/n? You were just playing hard to get. Your body wants me as much as I want you sweetheart”. I was too turned on to reply what he had to say. “Shut up Lan” I said as I pulled him by his collar. Fuck why isn’t he coming close. “Y/n, my baby, I have a good neck exercise. You’re too weak for that”. This man is a tease and I need him right now. “Lan, I’m gonna walk away from here and sleep with the first man I see if you dont kiss me right now”. His eyes darkened as he heard those words coming from my mouth. He grabbed me by my neck and pulled me closer. “Cocky? Huh I know no one can make you wet if it’s not me, tell me you are mine and I’ll touch you”. I know I have to give myself to him because he will not touch me if I don’t say what I’m told. “Lan, I’m yours, all yours. Now, pl..” I couldn’t even complete what I was about to say an he kissed me. Harder this time, much intense and much sexier than earlier. He bit my lower lip and used his tongue. He is a pro. He slowly goes down to my neck and place soft kisses and I’m already wet. I try to unbutton his shirt but I can’t because my hands are cold and they are shivering. He understands what I need and rip his shirt off. Oh god he is so hot underneath that shirt. I look at his body with lusty eyes as I kiss his chest and proceed to move down while holding eye contact with him. He doesn’t let me go down and pulls me up and kissed me. He unbutton my shirt and undo my bra. He kisses every square inch of my body and squeeze my boobs. “Wow!! They are handful, I love them” he says. “Baby, can I go down on you” he asks me as if I was about to stop him. Who in the world could resist Lando Norris? I bit my lower lip and say “please”. He kisses my inner thighs, teases me and licks me. Wow he sure is best at everything he does. He press my lower abdomen as he continues eating me out. I moan in pleasure. “Uhh umm Lan”

“Baby” I roll my eyes. “keep making those sounds for me love” 

“I’m about to .. uh”

He knows I’m about to finish so he pulls himself away. Such a tease 😈 . I know what he wants.

“Baby I need you inside of me, NOW.” I say and didn’t even notice him taking off his pants already. “See what you’ve done to me”. He looks at my eyes and demands me to see him. “Can you take all of it?” He winks. “ try me” I say. I know he loves playing so I go along with it. He puts his little (BIG) lando inside of me and I scream in pain or should I say pleasure. “Baby you feel so good” he thrusts faster. “Harder Lannie” he knows the rhythm. He knows when to go slow and hard and when fast. “Mhmmm” he moans near my ears and I know he is enjoying it as much as I am. “Baby, I’m about to come” he says. And goes faster. We both finished at the same time and that was amazing. He takes it off of me and places a kiss on my forehead. “We need to clean the mess we have made baby.” And lays beside me. “I’m too tired for that Lan. Let’s clean it later” I say. “Y/n, will you be my girlfriend? I don’t want this to end. I want you everyday.”

Oh my god this man is a GENTLEMAN.

“Yes my love”. And we cuddle and sleep. 

[myslvtwritings]

Hii! Can you please do Muzan, Kokushibo, and Akaza with a super clingy s/o who always wants to be near them and hold/be held by them?

Yup!! definitely.

➤ Muzan, Kokushibo and Akaza with a clingy!S/O

➤ SFW headcanons

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•

•

•

(not proof read)

Muzan

Muzan never has experienced a single ounce of affection in his life.

So when you enter the picture and you’re all over him, all up in his personal space, basically attached to his hip, Muzan detests it.

He despises it in the beginning, wanting nothing to do with you. Views clingy people as pathetic and sees affection has a weakness.

It destroys his ego whenever you make him go all soft for you so for that he avoids you.

But if you’re close enough with him he’ll allow it.

If he allows it that just means he likes it.

Especially loves it when you comfort him after he’s had a bad day. (Which is like everyday because he cannot seek out that damn blue spider lily)

Complains about it as you play with his hair or hood him in your arms.

You’re always the one initiating cuddle sessions.

But on the days you’re not in a good mood, Muzan will surprisingly hold you without you having to ask.

Isn’t opposed to holding you whatsoever.

He knows you’re super clingy but make sure you steer away from him when he’s in a bad mood.

If you continuously cling to him whenever he’s pissed off this man will not tolerate it.

Might break your hand if you try to touch him and will not feel bad until later when he’s calmed down.

On any other day, he couldn’t care less if you cling to him.

Will bring you to uppermoon meetings because he hates leaving you alone in the house anyway.

You accompany him to the meetings while he chastises his upper-ranked demons.

You’re either on his lap during these meetings or standing right next to him.

The other demons are just flabbergasted on how you’re that close to him.

Kokushibo doesn’t care that much, Douma just think it’s amusing, Akaza is beyond confused, Hantengu is scared, Gyokko prolly says something about it and in return gets decapitated for speaking lowly of you and Daki and Gyutaro envy you. Especially Daki. 💀💀

Kokushibo

Alright, Koku here doesn’t exactly hate it and he isn’t even against it, he just isn’t all that used to it!

So when you approach him and you’re all over him, kissing him, playing with his hair and just never leaving him he is taken aback.

Is also semi-surprised that you aren’t scared of him since he’s the most powerful upper-ranked.

Like, are you not petrified, hello??

Koku also gets a tiny bit flustered as first with how physically affectionate you are all the time.

Then again he isn’t used to it so he blushes and feels his body warm up by your charming presence.

However, in due time his flustered personality vanishes and he opens up more to you.

I feel like he has some trust issues so he’s hesitant when trusting you until he realizes how amazing you are.

He doesn’t really express his emotions but deep down he’s always shocked how a sweet, innocent creature like you isn’t scared of him considering your bitter sweet personality.

Lowkey loves it when you baby him.

Kokushibo adores being with you but i’m afraid you cannot tag along with him when he has to intend the meetings.

You’ll get killed in spot, even if he’s against it.

If you were a demon, it would be different.

Kokushibo desires to be with you forever, wants you to be by his side for all eternity and offers to turn you into a demon.

All though, he’s lowkey paranoid that if you become a demon you’ll adorable clingy personality will disappear.

Why must life be so hard?

Akaza

Like Kokushibo, he isn’t used to it but does warm up to your behavior rather quickly and learns to adapt to it.

Ends up loving it, obviously. Out of all the uppermoon demons he probably the most human-like. Your clingy personality feels oddly nostalgic to him.. (ifykyk)

Akaza finds you very strange sometimes but that’s only because he’s never met a human like you before! Like how are you so touchy and clingy? He’s killed hundreds of people yet you stare at him with so much love glistening in your gaze.

It confuses him but whatever.

Akaza isn’t as clingy as you are but as y’all’s lovely relationship progresses he finds himself wanting to be with you all the time.

Akaza always has his hands all over you, the same way you do to him!

Usually he’s in a very bad mood when Muzan treats him like shit or when Douma teases him.

Immediately comes home to you, seeking your comfort and warm touch.

Of course you reciprocate and smother him in kisses or hugs.

I like to think Akaza gets REALLY flustered if you pepper his face in kisses. Like it makes his face flush immediately and he giggles.

You think it’s fucking adorable so you keep in mind to do that on the days he’s upset.

You hold Akaza in your arms as he vents to you about whatever made him mad.

Akaza wishes more than anything he could bring you along to the uppermoon meetings but knows the consequences so unfortunately you can’t attend them with him:(

The very moment he returns from them you’re all up in his business.

You legitimately just pounce into his arms as soon as the door opens, scaring him in the process.

Akaza makes sure to satisfy your clingy self to make up for him being gone for so long. He makes sure to spend all his time with you for the rest of the night.

Sorry this disappearing again my lovely readers🙏 but i’m back for now to write y’all’s requests:)

[rottin6]

layla beloved your frat initiation bartylily chasing-in-the-woods concept is something that i think about…. so frequently. haunts me. i don’t even need you write it atp i just need more THOUGHTS 😭

stopppp it i'm giggling at the thought of them 'cause they're so nasty @sommerregenjuniluft is wholly partly to blame

like picture it, frat boy barty daddy issues barty n trust fund barty all in one, like my guy has issues on top of issues. he's made to go to uni by his dad and (idk how frats work i am british) he's in his third and final year of his degree, and he's the president of the frat obviously cause so was his dad and so was his dad and so on

lily, however, loathes him. she thinks the absolute worst of him but she's never even spoken to him. she just hates what he comes from and all that stuff. she's doing a journalism degree and writes for the college paper, like she's on her grind trying to get through uni

one day lily gets some inside scoop that barty's frat is hosting an initiation ritual that apparently happens every night but no one actually knows what goes down so she makes it her mission to get in so she can publish it in the paper and ruin his image and all that jazz

AND THEN she gets there the night of the ritual and barty sees her and he knows who she is cause she hates him that much and and the ritual basically

the existing frat boys are recruiting the new year boys and as part of the initiation they get chased in the woods and the older years wear masks n shit and it’s fucked up in every sense, like they get their chase and it’s perverted and just so…barty if that makes sense

but it’s just an initiation for the boys, no one else at all so lily has to sneak in and she thinks she’s all slick hiding behind trees n stuff but then

barty creeps up behind her, an ache in the pit of his stomach. even in the night, he hates how he can recognise her by her stupid red hair. there’s an animalistic urge to pull on it, to yank her back into him, but instead he snakes his arm around her throat, his bicep pressing on her pulse. his other hand covers her mouth and he can feel the way her body shakes, how it squirms against him, and he tuts, shaking his head.

now obviously lily fights back, she hits her head back into his face and his lip’s bleeding and all but my barty’s huge, like this guy is built so he’s stronger than her and he’s had enough—he tightens his hold on her, pinning her against the tree and he’s pissed as fuck. he’s pressing his body against hers so she can’t move, also holding her by her throat cause he likes the feel of her panicking and how she gulps. he’s grinning like a madman, wiping the blood off his lip with his thumb and he’s all like “you can’t come and not play the game, doll.” and she’s crying, shaking her head and she’s begging him to stop but but

he lifts a leg up, pushing his knee on her stomach and he begins to undo his belt with one hand, the other stroking the side of her face. it’d be romantic in any other situation if not for the fact that lily thinks she’s well and truly going to die. he spits on the ground to the side of them, his thick cock pulsing at the sight of her tears. he relishes in the view, at her lips quivering and the way she still begs him to stop. it’s cute, he thinks.

and then at some other point

“are you—are you getting off on this?” barty snickers, his fingers trailing across the dampness on her panties. he watches the way she closes her eyes tight, her lips parting slightly. “you’re a sick bitch, y’know that, doll? a pretty fuckin whore, coming out here, thinkin’—thinkin’ you can just do what you want, hm?”

but she still struggles against him, trying to fight cause that’s just lily evans but he’s licking his lips, shaking his head and the next thing she knows is he’s taking out a gun from the waistband of his jeans, he’s got it to the bottom of her chin, murmuring, “i really wish you wouldn’t do that,” but she doesn’t care, she tries to wriggle out of his hold and he tightens his grip on her, moving the gun to her forehead, “don’t fuckin move. you move and i’ll fuckin shoot you, okay? you got it?”

“barty, please...” lily pleads with him, as he yanks her by her hair.

“barty, please,” he mocks. “jesus, you're fucking pathetic. you’re lucky that i haven't put a bullet in that pretty fucking skull of yours yet.”

and at some point she’s running again, after kicking him in the groin obviously and he’s chasing after her, he’s in love with the chase, getting so high off it and then he’s tackling her to the ground, mud over the both of them. he’s on top of her, gripping her by both her dimples and pushing her face down into the ground

“i know the shit you say about me, what you write about me in that—in that little paper of yours.” he’s breathing heavily, pulling the zipper down on his jeans as he mounts over her. “i should kill you right now,” he whispers heavily against her ear. “but that's not what you want, is it? you want me to fuck you, right here on the dirty fucking ground, don’t you?” he smiles, demented. and he moves the gun down to her mouth. "just a dirty little whore that wants to get filled with dick, right?"

and then they have hot steamy sex in the middle of the woods 🏌🏽‍♀️

[andillneverbethesame]

we are never ever getting back together - s.b

❥ sirius black x fem!reader

❥ summary; after you and sirius break up for the milionth time, you swear you two are never ever getting back together.

❥ warnings; toxic relationship, cheating accusation (didn't decide if sirius actually cheated or not), reader slutshames sirius, if theres more, tell me

❥ word count; 1,595

❥ a/n; based off wanegbt by taylor swift

it was just a regular day for you and sirius. you knew it shouldn't be, but it was.

shouts filled the apartment where you two lived together and you were sure your neighbors were going to complain about the loud noises you two were making. and they had every right to do so. after all, it was middle of the night.

"god, y/n!" sirius let out a frustrated groan, putting his head in his hands. "i'm so fucking tired of this. can you just let it be? nothing happened anyway, you're just being dramatic. as always."

you let out a gasp, feeling offended a little.

"me?" you screamed. "dramatic? well, who do you think i learnt it from, you dick?"

he rolled his eyes and poured himself a bit of whiskey.

"just tell me you slept with her and this fight can be over," you almost begged him. "this," you pointed to yourself and him. "this can be over."

he put his drink down. "i'm gonna say it for the last time," he spoke too calmly for your liking. "i didn't sleep with her. i didn't sleep with anyone."

"then why don't i believe you?"

"it's not my fault you've been cheated on so many times you developed trust issues," he said through gritted teeth. "you should trust me if you want us to work."

you wanted to slap him. more than ever before. "well, if you want your partner to trust you, you shouldn't have gone around and fuck everything that has a pulse in your past and especially now when you're in a relationship!"

he sighed and waved his hand. "this is pointless. you are pointless."

he turned around and his back was now facing you. he was walking towards the bedroom. before he could slam the door, you yelled at him.

"we are done. we are over, sirius, and let me tell you: we are never ever getting back together!"

he didn't respond. instead some of his stupid indie records filled the silence and you cursed under your breath before walking down the hall and putting on your sneakers and the first jacket you reached for. then, you opened the door of your apartment and stepped out, your eyes meeting a neighbor who was just probably about to knock at your door and tell you to shut up. you slammed the door behind you as loud as you could, letting sirius know you were feeling only rage.

"i'm sorry, sir," you apologised to the neighbor who jumped at the loud noise of door slamming. "i promise you that this was the last time."

we are never ever getting back together we are never ever getting back together

your best friend lily evans was kind enough to let you in her apartment. well, she didn't really have a choice when you knocked on her door all shaking from rain and cold. you knew it was raining but you were feeling so angry that you forgot an umbrella on your spontaneous way out.

"did you mean it?" lily asked next morning when you two sat at her kitchen table with a cup of coffee. you could hear the water in her bathroom running, meaning james, her boyfriend, spent the night and was definitely going to investigate what happened between you and his best friend.

you looked at lily with raised eyebrow.

"did you mean it when you yelled at him that you two are never getting back together?"

you shrugged. did you really mean it? "i don't know. maybe i said it just out of anger, i'm not sure. i really love him, you know? but, god, it really is so fucking exhausting keep fighting, breaking up and then making up and then fight again, break up and make up and repeat." tears started streaming down your cheeks. "god."

in that moment, james walked into the kitchen and you quickly wiped your tears. he bent down and pecked lily's lips, smiling at her. at the sight of your teary eyes, however, his smile fell.

"oh, hi," he said and waved at you awkwardly. you could see he didn't know what to say and you questioned if you really wanted him to say something. he was probably going to defend sirius and say you two belong together anyway.

"hi," you greeted him back quietly.

lily's phone beeped and she looked at it. "it's marlene," she informed. "she's asking if i know where are you at the moment." she glanced back at you. "do you want me to tell her you're here?"

"yeah, sure." marlene asking about you meant she was probably at your and sirius' flat and your ex boyfriend told her you weren't there. he probably had that glare on his face that he had the morning after a fight too.

you, lily and james spent drinking coffee in silence. you desperately wanted to sort this shit out with the help of lily but with james there, you didn't say a single word.

marlene arrived about ten minutes later and the first thing she said was, "what the hell happened between you and black? he acted like a prick."

you snorted emotionlessly. "when does he not?" you put your cup down. "what did he do?"

"well, i wanted to give you the top i borrowed from you, here you go by the way," she handed you your top. "and so i got into your building and i heard bunch of people there talking about some kind of argument that happened in the middle of the night. well, anyway, i knocked at your door and it took sirius an eternity to open. and i noticed something was wrong like immediately but i didn't ask him. instead, i asked him if you're home. he said 'no' and before i could ask where you were, he slammed the door right in my face."

you rolled your eyes. that was so typical of him.

"we had a fight."

"about what?" marlene asked.

"think he slept with a girl from work."

you heard james snort behind you. "no, he didn't."

"james," lily warned.

you looked at him with a cold look in your eyes. "you may be his best friend but you and him are not the same person so why don't you shut your mouth and don't talk about things you have no idea about?"

james's face fell. he cleared his throat and thankfully, kept his mouth shut.

marlene's voice shook a little as she spoke. "you sure he slept with that girl?"

you shrugged. "even if he didn't, we would be better without each other.

the blonde took a seat next to lily and reached for your hand, squeezing it. "i'm very sorry."

we are never ever getting back together we are never ever getting back together

for a week, you and sirius didn't speak. at all.

during that time, all the leaves turned red, orange and yellow and you took a walk everyday with earphones in your ears to clear your head.

you distanced yourself from your friend group and stayed at your parents' house for a while. you were lucky enough not to see sirius at all even though you've been going to his favourite places.

now, you were again on one of your walks. with a coffee you bought in a nearby café earlier, you sat down on a bench in a park.

you looked around the park. there were a lot of people but they were mostly couples who found the autumn weather romantic, making you think about you and sirius and how those people used to be you two. you couldn't even think about one time in the past three months when you and him went out together without fighting about anything.

you took a sip of your coffee and hugged your coat closer to your body. at that moment, your eyes fell on two familiar people walking towards you. you sighed, taking off your headphones.

"hey, y/n," said lily.

"hi, lils," you smiled. "james."

he nodded.

"how are you doing?" the redhead questioned and you shrugged.

"been better, been worse." the next words the couple was going to hear slipped out of your mouth quicker than you could stopped yourself. "how is. . . he?"

james and lily looked at each other and the man said. "he's. . . okay?"

you weren't surprised. you didn't expect him to be affected by your fight and break up.

"no, not like that," said lily immediately when she noticed the look on your face. "he's been. . . sort of going around telling people that you two are going to get back together soon."

your mouth opened in shock. "well, we're not. definitely not soon. i need space, just like he needed."

the three of you stayed silent for a second before james spoke.

"maybe you should tell him that," he advised and for the first time, you thought james said something smart.

before you could reply, your phone rang. you expected it to be your mum or dad but the name that popped on your phone screen made you freeze.

sirius :)

you took a deep breath and your thumb hovered over the green button. you answered the call.

"sirius?"

"i still love you," his voice filled your ears. he sounded still the same like the night you two were yelling at each other.

"but i don't want to get back to you," you said honestly.

you heard him sigh. "come on, love, you don't mean it. you always say this but then we get together again. we both know that this time, it's like any other time."

"i love you, sirius, but we are never ever getting back together. like, ever."

[haoboutyou]

taking it slow | xu minghao

angst | 1.1k words | warnings: y/n gets a panic attack

an: and if i told you this was based off a dream i had a whole year ago?

These past few months had been an absolute mess for you. Missed deadlines, cracked phone, broken bag straps; you thought the world had already thrown its all at you. Clearly, you didn’t take into account your soulmate throwing himself at you too.

Ever since the day you bumped into Minghao at the train station– ever since the moment the offending red string materialised on your pinkies– it was like he was following you everywhere. The cafe? He was in line behind you. The grocery store? Minghao’s in the baking aisle, checking out a new brand of flour. In every encounter, he would try to approach you. The florist you work at? He was buying flowers for his mom (your heart melted a little at this- he was buying them just because). And in every encounter, you would try to run away.

Which was why you’re frustrated as to how he’s managed to corner you here: in an art gallery, in the middle of an exhibition. You were caged against the wall by Minghao as you were walking, hidden right behind a pair of potted plants.

(You find out later that he worked there. And that it was his exhibition that you were walking through. Of course, he works at the art gallery, you think.)

“Y/n, look at me.” Minghao’s hands grasped you by your shoulders. Head tilted, he tried to make eye contact, but your lowered head wasn’t doing much for him. He sighed. “Y/n, stop running away. You know you’ll have to face me sooner or later. Come on.”

You couldn’t. Looking at him meant you were accepting the fate that was destined for both of you. Soulmates?! The very thought of the universe forcing two strangers together for the rest of their lives made you feel queasy. Your commitment issues or lack thereof were quaking in their boots.

“Y/n,” his voice was softer this time. Gently, Minghao’s fingers cupped your chin in the warm embrace of his hand, his thumb caressing the soft curve beneath. With a tender touch, he lifted your chin, guiding your gaze upward. Your eyes met, yours already brimming with tears threatening to roll down anytime. It was a gesture so intimate and reassuring, as if he held not just your chin but also a delicate moment suspended in time.

He sighed as his thumb delicately swiped across your cheek. His touch, so warm and comforting that you had to fight the urge to lean into his palm. “Y/n,” he started once more.

“You’re important to me. I need you to know that.”

“You don’t even know me, Xu Minghao.”

“I know you like vanilla lattes. I know you prefer cats over dogs, and how you like lily of the valleys because they’re your birth flower.” The deadpan look on your face despite the dried streaks of tears elicited a small laugh from him. “I’ll take all the time in the world to get to know you. Please, Y/n. Can’t you see the red string on our hands?”

As if doused by cold water, you tore yourself away from his touch. Your eyes drifted down to where Minghao was referring to. Yes, that stupid red string was still connected to your hands. It had never disappeared, ever since you had first met Minghao all those months ago.

Of course, everyone has a soulmate; it wasn’t rare for people to meet their destined partner at all. However, that didn’t mean that all relationships the red string had helped to bind were happy ones. You’ve seen your fair share of people perpetually had their trust in their red strings of fate torn apart and broken. You didn’t want to put your all in a ‘destined’ relationship only for it to fall apart and ruin your life, just like all of theirs.

Anxiety gripped you like a relentless tide, each wave threatening to pull you under. Your breaths quickened, shallow and erratic, and your chest tightened with an overwhelming sense of dread. The world around you blurred as a suffocating sense of panic took hold.

“Hey, hey…” you didn’t notice when Minghao approached you again, but this time you let yourself melt in the comfort of his arms. His protective grip around you tightened as you felt yourself let go, slumping into his chest as sobs shook through your whole body. He continued holding you firmly, palms rubbing slow circles on your back as he whispered words of comfort in your ears.

Your fists clenched up against his chest, tears staining his carefully pressed shirt. Not that it mattered to him- comforting you was his top priority now. Minghao, ever loving, patted your hair, gentle whispers of “I’m right here,” and “it’s going to be okay,” every once in a while. It took you a while, but eventually, your sobs subsided into little hiccups and pants. Minghao looks down at you, using his sleeves to wipe away any more tears on your face. He couldn’t help himself; he chuckled a little upon seeing your pout. Even during a mental breakdown, you’re still the most precious thing in his eyes.

“S-sorry… I didn’t mean to…” Your hands betrayed your inner turmoil, fingers restlessly intertwining and then pulling away as if unable to find solace in each other's company. Minghao took it upon himself to separate them by intertwining his slender fingers with yours. “It’s okay. You’re fine. I’m right here.”

His thumb traced gentle circles on the back of your hand, a silent language of comfort and connection. Each gentle brush carried a whisper of comfort that was beyond words. The world outside vanished in that little instant, and the simple, tender gesture spoke volumes about the unspoken bond you clearly shared.

Minghao cleared his throat, catching your attention once again. “I’m aware… that you don’t like the whole idea of soulmates. I’m still interested in you, and I’d love to get to know you more. As friends! We don’t have to date if you don’t want to.

“I’m glad the red string brought you to me. I don’t think I’ll be able to live with myself if I let you go.” He chuckled, a pained expression despite the loving smile on his face. “What I’m trying to say is: I’ll take responsibility for everything. Please, Y/n. Trust me. Give me a chance. Don’t just push me away like this.”

Your silence was deafening to him. Still, Minghao waited patiently for you, rubbing slow circles on the back of your hands. You couldn’t phantom how someone could have so much love for a person they barely knew, yet Xu Minghao exceeded your expectations over and over again. You sighed, finally giving in to his puppy-dog eyes.

“Okay,” you breathed. “Friends first.”

He heaved a sigh of relief, heart already swelling with affection for you. He nodded.

“Friends first.”

[enharcv]

so it goes | park jongseong

THE SWIFT PROJECT : VOL 2 [ PARK JONGSEONG ]

pairing  ‣  brother's best friend+ racer!jay x it girl + best friend's sister! fem reader ft enhypen's hyung line , wooyoung & san (ateez) , yeonjun (txt) , seeun (stayc) , karina (aespa)

genre  ‣  brother's best friend trope , childhood friends to lovers , fluff , slight angst

warnings  ‣  profanities , arguing (not much) , not proofread , mentions of alcohol , jay getting a black eye (slight violence) , illegal racing (idk help) , lots of flirting + maybe slow burn , lots of getting cock blocked , sunghoon being a dick at times , hookup scene , reading is rushed (i was dying to get this fic off my wip list im so sorry).

rating  ‣  16+

wc  ‣  46k

a/n  ‣  HI LMAO. starting off with a very big apology for delaying this fic n starving y'all.. like this was due since april. it's been four months working on this fic n to make it up to y'all, here's a whooping 46k fic lolll! AND ALSO , thank you so so so so so so so so so much on 1k+ notes for chasing you ㅠㅠ!! truly im so greatful for it, so so grateful fr like i was so happy i was beaming the entire day when i found out we hit 1k+ on chasing you!!!!!!!!! as a thank you gift for making chasing you (y'all know i always go ALL out on jay fics) a hit, i gift y'all so it goes, volume 2 of the swift project, a whooping 46k (again!) fic!!!!!!! hope u guys have fun n enjoy reading!

playlist  ‣  so it goes...  - taylor swift , love me harder - the weeknd & ariana grande , chateau - blackbear , out of time - the weeknd , don't blame me - taylor swift , dancing with our hands tied - taylor swift , collide - justine skye & tyga , say it - tony lanez , or nah - ty dolla $ign & the weeknd , into you - ariana grande , trust issues - drake , slow down - chase atlantic , maps - maroon 5 , kiss & make up - blackpink & dua lipa , if i - seventeen , heartless - the weeknd , fallin all in you - shawn mendes, lily of the valley - daniel.

BEING IN THE SPOTLIGHT had always been the park's sibling thing. you and sunghoon had always been the top of everything, never second or last. 

whether it was in terms of popularity, looks, style, personalities, academics, sports, curriculum, etc— you both never lacked. 

and there were just never any flaws found in the both of you, the both of you were just perfect. 

so perfect that almost everyone wanted to be you, that even when sunghoon graduated everyone was truly so bummed that the school had lost their gem. 

not too sad because you were still left, another gem was still there. and with all the popularity that came, everyone wanted to be you. 

it was just something that's normal, every girl wanted you, every girl wanted you and every guy wanted you, every guy needed a chance with you. 

some would even go telling around that they did get you, rumors like that would often be heard once and then but you never bothered about it. 

because if it's not a real fact, and it's not something you did— it's not a problem, you couldn't care less. 

in the end, you're you and they're them, a bunch of losers and fans that want to be you so bad. it was something you've gotten so used to that it's old news and you don't bother about anymore. 

surely to the reputation, you also live up to your standards. you're strong on your beliefs wherein anything that isn't related to your academics, school, friends, family and curriculum, it's not important.

even if you did like someone, it's just some celebrity crush you'll get over in a week. it wasn't because you're not attracted to anyone, you already had someone else in mind. but that's besides the point. 

because, that didn't seem to convince sunghoon enough considering his stupid little brother agenda had always annoyed you where he has this overprotective thing over you when a guy enters the conversation they can kiss the chances with you goodbye. 

every single time a guy approaches your radar, sunghoon is in your business telling them to fuck off or he'll make their life a living hell. and sunghoon is definitely a man of his words. 

on time this kid in your grade just approached you to ask about something related to the class you both take together and it seemed like it just had to be the worst timing, sunghoon was just right with you. 

the kid literally almost pissed himself from the daggers sunghoon was shooting at him for looking at you more than 5 seconds and you genuinely just wanted to die from how embarrassing it was. 

the fact it happened more than just once just proves how sunghoon overprotective over his sister agenda wasn't leaving anytime soon. 

but now that he's finally out of high school and busy with college and his lifestyle there, you thought you would finally be free from his torment. 

read : you thought. 

sunghoon was regardless on your back no matter what, so you pretty much gave up on trying to get sunghoon snap out of it even though it was annoying. 

what else was even more annoying is that sunghoon didn't seem to trust his own friends around you. 

it would've been less annoying if he had just kept that whole overprotective agenda with random guys but his own friends were just ridiculous. 

perhaps it was because he knew how his friends were, the type of guys that he's always warned you about, the type of guys you had to stay away from no matter what. 

you could agree with that if it came to jake since his natural habitat is being deep inches into different girls every weekend and playing with every single female he could spot. 

but jay? you didn't think so. you knew jay hanging out with jake and your brother would have influenced him in a sort of way, which it did but he was still different from them.

he had his fair amount of hookups, flings and one night stands but you knew he was famous for never being tied down to a relationship. you figured it was probably because he doesn't do commitments and whatnot but maybe he's just less of an asshole compared to your brother when it comes to girls. 

you just find jay somehow more interesting than jake— jake is a great guy but jay just keeps you attracted to him in an unexplainable way. 

you're sure you don't have feelings for him, you don't do all these feelings stuff but, jay has something on you and you like to think it's just probably him being fine. 

besides they're all away in college now so it wouldn't matter, you'll get over it in no time (that's what you've been telling yourself ever since you were 11 but whatever that helps you sleep at night). 

it's been about a year and half now ever since you've seen them and ever since they've moved away for college. other than all the parties and mess they made when they were back home— you couldn't deny that you indeed missed their presence. 

you loved your friends and everything but being around your brother and his friends felt more like home to you.

so you were beyond overjoyed when your mom broke the news that they boys are finally coming back home for summer break. so overjoyed that you couldn't sleep at night, just few hours away from reconciling with your brother and his friends again. 

the entire time you were at school you couldn't wait for each period to end, you were so excited that you couldn't stop talking about the news to your friends. 

"god i can't remember the last time i went to a good party— like, all the parties i went to after the 02z left was literal trash and so lame, " wooyoung sighs, rolling his eyes and continuing to sip his chocolate milk. 

"right? so glad they're finally back in town, summer this time is gonna be the best." karina agrees, shaking her head cheerfully and turns to face you, who's already looking at her with a big smile. 

chuckling at your friends being so hyped and cheerful now that summer break is finally here and senior year is coming to an end— and, the 02z being back in town.

"you guys seem to be more excited than me at this rate."

seeun shoves your shoulder and gives you a mischievous smirk. 

"yeah and you, young lady," she says, narrowing her eyes at you. "you have no excuses now to bail out on us when we're going to parties— school's out, we don't want to hear anymore lame shit coming out of that pretty mouth, y/n."

the only difference between sunghoon and you is that, despite being in the centre of spotlight, you had always been more of a homebody and sunghoon was always the life of the party. 

so when it came to large gatherings like parties and stuff, you were always too occupied with academics to bother about those parties sunghoon threw. 

and the part where sunghoon and his friends are dying of hungover the next morning, you're not a big fan of it, at all. 

"seeun's right, it's finally summer babe! we need to set loose, it's the final year of high school are you seriously gonna choose to leave out all of the fun?" wooyoung asks as he shrugs so exaggeratedly. 

karina nods along, and smiles at you with the very well known smile of hers, the one that just makes you agree to everything she says. 

the rina charm, and unfortunately it works on you. 

"you're already always missing out on the race matches we go to, the ones that your brother and his friends are always at too!" karina whines, at this point she's begging you with pleading eyes.

"i just don't see the point in racing, the hype is too exaggerated." 

"girl, have you seen choi yeonjun?" wooyoung gasps at your statement, crossing his arms across his chest. 

"what? he's back in town again, too?" karina asks as she faces wooyoung with her jaw wide open. 

"yeah, he's back for summer break too which means races are gonna be held more frequently now." 

you just sigh loudly at karina and wooyoung conversing about the races they cannot get enough of, especially with whatever drama that goes on in there. 

one thing you know for sure is that sunghoon did not like choi yeonjun at all, even the sight of him gets the blood boiling. you personally never had any experience with him so you're not sure about what's the hype with him or what's the beef your brother has going on with him. 

whatever it is, you hope he just doesn't get into any messy trouble with yeonjun and ruin the summer for himself and everyone else. 

"so, i was saying— y/n you can't miss out on any fun and i mean it." wooyoung demands, pushing karina aside and ignoring her as she begs wooyoung for more news about yeonjun. 

her massive crush on choi yeonjun was showing, but that was every other girl in belift high, you guess. 

"fine, whatever you guys say." you nod, agreeing to wooyoung and the rest. 

"seriously girl, just let loose and have the best fun you can, you only live once as a teenager, high school will never happen again." wooyoung says and pouts at you with his hand plastered on his chest so dramatically. 

"you need to shut the fuck up, that was so corny." seeun says and bursts into laughter with karina. 

well she wasn't wrong entirely, wooyoung has quite a knack for being so dramatic for no reason at all. 

"seriously, y/n? you too?" he sulks, seeing you joining karina and seeun laughing at him. 

"wait! no, wooyoung—" you call out the half blonde half black haired boy as he gets up and leaves, sulking. 

"you better go after him, you started this!" karina says, slapping seeun's arm and pushing her off the bench. 

you just wave seeun a goodbye when she leaves whining after wooyoung, in hopes he'd get over it. 

"you should get going," karina chuckles, and gets up with her bag slinged over her shoulder. 

you completely forget your brother and his friends arrival, too engulfed into the conversation with your friends. 

"oh yeah, i almost forgot." jumping over the bench, you grip onto your bag and walk the opposite way as you wave at karina.

"see you rina!" 

the walk back home was quite nervous for some reason. you found it weird you were feeling this way, it was really just the same three people you practically grew up with, so being nervous shouldn't even be in your system. 

somehow the closer you got to your residence, your heart was beating against your rib cage in nervousness. 

the familiar car parked in front of the front yard gave you the chills and the excitement being mixed with nervousness was making you light-headed. 

entering your home you see your mother walking down the stairs with a big smile at you. 

"are they back already?" you ask and take off your bag in a rush before heading into the living room right away. 

"what? were you hoping we weren't gonna come back?" a voice pops up from the corner and there was the cocky tone in the voice that your recognized all too well. 

"hoon!" you gasp, engulfing him into a hug with big smiles plastered on each other's faces. sunghoon chuckles and gasps for air jokingly when you wrap your arms around him so tightly. 

"you're gonna kill me, y/n!" sunghoon whines, tapping your arm when you pull away with a scowl. 

"what a way to greet your sister that you haven't seen in a year and plus right? the best brother award must belong to you." you say, scoffing and rolling your eyes when he smirks with a proud expression on his face. 

"that award has always been mine, you're just too late to acknowledge that." he says, cocking his eyebrow as he smiles at you. 

yeah, you definitely missed him so much. 

"seriously? not even a second after the sibling reunion, you guys are already fighting." 

you turn around to see jake coming out from the kitchen, striding his way towards you with a big smile.

"jake!" 

pulling you into a hug, you melted into his embrace and taking in the feeling you missed oh so much. 

"cut it out now," sunghoon interrupts, pulling you apart from him making you and jake whine in annoyance. 

what was sunghoon without keeping you off limits from his friends right?

"dude im finally seeing her after more than a year— are you serious right now?" jake scoffs jokingly, whining at his best friend. 

"well you can see her," sunghoon says, nodding his head towards you. "but keep your hands off her." 

"even if your hair changed, that overprotective brother in you definitely didn't." you grunt, tearing your gaze away from jake and hoon to the figure standing by the kitchen, a small smirk on his face as he watches the ongoing quarrel. 

eyes scanning you up and down, he pushes himself off the wall and walks over to you and the rest, hands in pocket and smug expression plastered on his pretty face. 

you're stunned, you weren't going to lie. 

natural black did wonders on him, and wonders as in making you feel so giddy the moment your eyes laid on him. 

you didn't ever know how gorgeous someone could look like in jet-black hair, jay pulled it off so effortlessly— he looked even more better than he was in blonde. 

if that wasn't enough to hold you back from almost letting your jaw hit the floor from seeing him, jay has gotten a lot more broader and you wonder if he's been hitting the gym in the past year because the outlines of his biceps and muscles looked more defined. 

your eyes just couldn't leave his just as his couldn't leave yours. 

you looked just like he could remember but more— breathtaking. senior year has definitely played a big part on how much you've matured over the year, you look more pretty and hot. 

"hey," 

"hi, jay." 

your voice has gotten deeper than he remembers, the high pitchy voice now replaced with an alluring voice that was truly taking everything in him to not get weak in his knees. 

nevertheless, pushing all the thoughts behind, jay just gives you a small smile and then faces away from you. 

you're not sure why the lack of attention or interaction with him gave you a small pang in the heart, not that it shouldn't have mattered. 

you paused to think, no way in hell did you consider wanting anything to do with him that isn't platonic— just because suddenly he showed up after a year and half being gone, looking a lot more fine and handsome, didn't mean he could be your summer fling. 

but you couldn't help but think about the possibilities of it happening, it seemed fun and thrilling. 

the mere thought of sneaking behind your brother's back and fooling around with his best friend didn't seem like too much of a bad idea at all— pretty much the thought of it gave you a sudden adrenaline rush although that could be such a betrayal to your brother from two people he trusted, his sister and his best friend.

with the sudden tension between you two and summer break starting, having a small fun can't possibly go wrong, _right_?

just a summer fling can't possibly be more than just a summer fling, and your friends were telling you to let loose, this could be your chance. 

if jay was down for it and you were, as long as you both are being discreet enough, not a single soul knowing about it besides the two of you (and maybe your friends), nothing can go wrong.

"we're gonna head out for a moment, it's been awhile— we'll probably go around the town for a few hours," sunghoon tells your mother as he picks up the car keys with jake hot on his trail. 

"we'll be back before dinner, mrs.park!" jake agrees along with his friend, giving your parents his sweet cheshire cat smile. 

your parents could never not give in, especially when it comes to jake. how could they not, especially when the boys are finally back after a long time, they deserved to have some fun.

"alright i guess," she says before pointing at the jake and sunghoon. "be back home before dinner, you promised and be safe, boys." 

nodding like a bobbleheads, jake and sunghoon giving each other high-fives, they rush out the door. 

"dude, let's go!" 

you glance at jay, seeing him give a small bow at your parents before looking back at you and leaving with his friends to whatever mess they're about to create. 

the look he gave put few thoughts into your head, one being the one-million dollar question; 

he can be your summer fling, right?_

HOURS HAS passed by and your brother and his friends were still not home yet, although it was inching closer to dinner time in a few minutes. 

even your friends had stopped for 'checking on you' when in reality they were actually just here to catch a glimpse of the 02z. just too bad, their timing was wrong. 

helping your mom with taking the dishes to the dining table, as soon as you place it down on the table, the front door opens and you hear shuffling down the hallway. 

"we're home!" 

sunghoon enters the kitchen first, and immediately sits down at the table but your mom slaps his hands when he reaches for the food.

"AH!" 

"has college ruined your manners? go wash your hands, sunghoon!" your mom glare at him, immediately making him get up, sulking as he disappears into the kitchen to wash his hands. 

you stifle your laugh when you follow him into the kitchen to get more plates. 

"i'll knock off your teeth, stop laughing." sunghoon scowls, glaring at you in annoyance. 

sibling fights used to be the one thing you dreaded the most, but when sunghoon was away, it was the thing you missed the most although you had your peace. 

"yeah yeah as if hoon," you stick out your tongue at him. "how do you have no manners in your fossil age?" 

without a warning, sunghoon flicks off the water from his wet hands into your face making you shriek in surprise— and well, now your skin damp.

"PARK SUNGHOON!" you scream, taking water into your hands and flicking it on to him. 

"Y/N WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?!" he whines back, and chases you around the kitchen to flick more water onto you. 

you're both fully drenched by the time your mother heads into the kitchen at the sudden commotion and screaming. 

"are you both serious right now?" she sighs loudly, slamming her hand against the cabinet on her left, stopping you both in tracks. 

"you both need to grow up, are you guys seriously gonna fight? sunghoon you're an adult, y/n you're old enough to think!" 

you stare silently at your mom, suddenly feeling embarrassed when jake peeks his head into the kitchen, behind your mom. 

"she started it first, you're always blaming me…" sunghoon trails off making you gasp at his audacity to blame you. 

"me?! he's lying, mom!" 

"both of you cut it out, i don't want to hear anything— get changed i don't want to see you both drenched AND CLEAN THIS MESS!" she scoffs, glaring at the both of you and then leaving the kitchen to attend to the guests. 

you both stand in silence before bursting out into laughter. 

"you're so annoying, gosh." sunghoon chuckles, as he kneels down to wipe the wet patches on the floor from flicking water at you earlier. 

"if anything you're the annoying one here, hoon." you retort back, chuckling when you kneel down next to him. 

you both clean up the mess in silence, before one of you speak up again. 

"i missed this," 

you look up at sunghoon and see him smiling at you softly. "the saying, you don't miss something until you can't have it anymore, it's true." 

"i was really homesick most of the time more than i was having fun back there— sure partying was always my thing, but i missed two among the most important things in my life." he continues but halts his actions when he  looks at you. 

you hum at him to go on, with a small smile.

"home and racing." 

"why was i expecting you to say it was me or something?" you snort, shaking your head a sunghoon being dramatic. 

"are you not my home, y/n?" 

you pause, looking at sunghoon whose face is now flustered, and eyes slightly glossy. 

"sunghoon," 

"i missed my sister the most, you know you mean the world to me more than anything— family will always come first to me." 

you stay silent, letting sunghoon pull you into a hug, and sigh. 

sunghoon was barely the one to express his affection towards you in this brother and sister relationship, it had always been you. 

so seeing sunghoon breakdown from being homesick after being away, you realize that the empty spot in your heart is filled the moment you fall into sunghoon's arms. 

it's so reassuringly comforting that when teardrops falling from your eyes surprised you. 

"i missed you too, hoon." you whisper, and close your eyes, letting the hug make up for all the moments you stood in front of his room when he was away, hoping he'd be behind it, waiting to yell at you for disturbing him. 

or when the days you'd come back home to a empty house when your parents were frequently out of town for business, you secretly hoped the house would've been filled with random people from school with sunghoon in the kitchen or upstairs chugging down his beer from beer pong, ready to be yelled at you for holding a party when you needed to study for s test you'd ace regardless. 

"we look so dumb right now." sunghoon laughs, pulling away from you and rubs his eyes and sticky cheeks from the tears. 

"it's alright, we're dumb and dumber." you say, chuckling when sunghoon agrues that he's just dumb and you're dumber. 

whatever that made him happy you figured. 

after cleaning up the mess and catching up, your mom was already scolding you guys for missing out on the entire dinner which resulted to you and sunghoon having a late night dinner as you both catched up on each others lives while the rest were already in their designated rooms for the night. 

when you slipped into bed that night, there was a lingering guilt feeling in your chest after the interaction with jay from the day and sunghoon's confession from earlier. 

sunghoon said you were one of the most important people in his life, and if you were to betray him and his trust, you'd never forgive yourself for it. 

but liking someone isn't a crime, if you were attracted to jay and if you were to have a fling with him regardless, there was nothing you could do about it

to say the least, you were lost in confusion and absolutely clueless before you drifted off into your slumber.

MAYBE SPRING was a better season compared to summer because you were drenched in sweat the second you stepped out of your house just to wait for wooyoung to pick you up. 

you and your friends finally decided to make plans for the first week of summer. ever since that night, you and the 02z barely met apart from seeing each other for a few seconds in the morning, so you figured they were busy for the time being, hence hanging out with your friends seemed to be much of an better idea than just staying home and rewatching the same series you've been watching for months now. 

but now that you're practically damp and sticky, staying home didn't seem much of a bad idea anymore. before you could head in, the familiar red mercedes stops in front of your yard, honking at you. 

"i can see you're here, there was absolutely no reason to honk, woo." you say, rolling your eyes when he winks at you. 

"my baby sounds hot when he's talking," wooyoung says when you close the door after getting in. 

you hear karina and seeun gag at wooyoung's over exaggeration about his car. 

"it's about fucking time you're finally obsessed with something that isn't choi san." seeun says without batting an eye at wooyoung as she continues to scroll on her phone. 

the silence wooyoung gave was loud enough to make the three of you look at him and gasp. 

"don't tell me….." 

"why else would i want to volunteer to take you guys to the pool party choi yeonjun is hosting?" he asks, leaning his arm on the armrest and puckering his lips out. 

"CHOI YEONJUN?" karina shrieks, well practically screams at the name of her crush being mentioned. 

seeun gives her a sigh, mentally regretting what she agreed to when wooyoung had texted in the group chat earlier if anyone wanted to hang out at a pool party. 

she thought he meant a personal one where it was just them, the thought of wooyoung taking his friends to a pool party where his crush was definitely not on her thoughts radar. 

"okay so we're going to a pool party hosted by choi yeonjun?" you ask as you take off your sunnies and point it at wooyoung. 

he nods. 

"see you guys tomorrow, i'm leaving!" you chuckle and turn around to leave but wooyoung is quick to lock the doors. you attempt to open it again but seeun sighing loudly again just made you give up. 

"y/n, don't be a party pooper!" 

"wooyoung do you not know how much trouble i can get into if sunghoon finds out?" you whine loudly, and let your head hit against the cool leather seat you're on. 

"it's about time you stop walking on eggshells around your brother," he says, and you give him a glare. 

"and—" he stops you before you could argue further, "i heard your brother and his friends are there so, it's probably not a big deal. maybe yeonjun and your brother are finally civil again or not why else would he be there?" 

wooyoung's right but your gut tells you to not trust him, he's always the root of the problem when the rest of you get into a mess. so speaking from you experience you don't want to trust him, but the sudden reminder that jay would be there somehow makes you cave in. 

besides, you did see the boys leaving a few hours prior to this in summer wear, so wooyoung also isn't wrong. 

karina gives you her pleading eyes and you sigh, nodding after a while. 

the two cheers while you and seeun sigh in worry and bored. 

you don't know what you signed up for, but you have a feeling it's about to be eventful for sure.

PEOPLE LEARN FROM THEIR mistakes all the time, some do after committing mistakes once more and some don't at all. you and your friends belong in the last category as for now and as long as you guys continue to be friends with jung wooyoung. 

trusting wooyoung was always a bad idea, even when it came to skipping out on classes, it was always the three of you getting caught and woyoung somehow getting away or when you accidentally got wasted as fuck and got an earful from your parents while wooyoung stayed back like a cat after being the one who brought you into the mess.

even if you guys ever managed to not get into a trouble it was by sheer luck and once in a blue moon.

however, now wasn't any different either— you, karina and seeun are contemplating on why did you guys think trusting wooyoung when he said a bomb ass pool party that's hosted by choi yeonjun was a good idea. 

the four of you stood stranded in the middle of the party house, glaring at wooyoung after he 'found out' that it wasn't actually choi yeonjun hosting the pool party, it was actually some other kid with a choi too— him mishearing now has lead to the four of you to be clueless in a random stranger's house pool party. 

"what do we do now?" you ask and receive no responses back except for karina still looking around hoping for a choi yeonjun to show up, wooyoung bored out of his mind and seeun being emotionless and annoyed. 

this wasn't what you would see at a pool party but your friend group has issues. 

"oh my," 

the three of you turn towards karina who's gawking at the backyard with her jaw slacked on her floor. 

"what?"

"oh my god y/n the 02z are here!" 

"what?" you shriek. you did expect something from karina but that definitely was not it. wooyoung gasps when he sees jake entering the house, wet and damp head to toe, like he had just come out from the pool. 

by the obvious looks of it, he definitely did— water trailing down his toned chest and his blonde but now light brown hair sticking to his forehead. from the opposite of the room, with everyone's eyes on him, his gaze meets yours. 

jake smiles when he sees you and immediately strides over as he continues to wipe his hair with the towel in his hand. 

"yo y/n, didn't know you were coming!"

"oh, uh me too." you laugh awkwardly, glancing at wooyoung who just gave you a small smirk before you looked back at jake again. "we just happened to be here, by mistake." 

jake just laughs in response as he looks at you, while karina is staring at him with two big hearts popped out of her eye sockets. 

"don't know what you mean but hope you guys have fun," he says, and looks around at your friend group. "i'm gonna go hop in the shower, see you around, yeah?" 

"yeah, cool, bye!" you wave at him and immediately turn back to your friends. 

"y/n be honest, do your brother's friends get a free pass to you that others don't?" 

"what the fuck is that supposed to mean?" you shriek at the sudden comment by wooyoung who's giving you the most mischievous shit-eating grin ever.

"you know, like, does jake sim have the hots for you or something because he could not stop staring at you, the whole entire time he was here." 

karina gasps, agreeing along with wooyoung as if she wasn't drooling at the sight of a shirtless, wet glistering jake sim which she probably could have developed a crush on a while ago. 

"karina i thought you were better than this, why are you even agreeing with whatever nonsense wooyoung just brews?" you ask, and scrunch your nose in disbelief when she sighs and reasons. 

"wooyoung is not wrong, the entire time i was staring at him, his eyes did not leave yours and those skimpy shorts of yours," she says, giggling at the way your face reddened. 

"you made a good choice today, love the shorts babe." 

you sigh disappointedly at your friends' delusions, "i hope i never hear that again because one, it's not true." 

"and two, on the worst case scenario— sunghoon will murder jake," you pause and point at yourself with your thumb facing tour way. "and me." 

karina sighs exasperatedly, "how is it any of your brother's business if you get bitches or not?" 

"yeah like at this rate your life companion is about to be your right hand flicking the bean, and you'll die a bitchless virgin." 

wooyoung nods, and gives you a mocking pout. 

"that's the worst that can happen to you, y/n. we mean it." he says, scanning your stunned state. 

"you guys worry too much about her, she's a grown woman that can fend for herself, neither you guys or her brother should even be this controlling and way too worried for her." 

the three of you look toward seeun who finally spoke up and staring back clearly annoyed which makes wooyoung scoff obnoxiously loud, as if it was on purpose. 

"forget about y/n for a second," he pauses for an instant. "what's up with you all day, all up in your feels and shit?" 

seeun furrows her eyebrows, confused why wooyoung was suddenly up her ass with an annoying question. 

but before she could retort back at wooyoung, you cut her off. "i think we should chill!" 

"yeah yeah! y/n, let's go by the pool!" karina cheers, grabbing you by the first and dragging you away from the two annoyed hotheads. 

"wooyoung's right though, seeun hasn't been in the best mood all day. she's been sighing and sulking," karina says as you follow her , hot on her trail. 

when you don't say anything and just hum, karina continues on, "especially when jake was eye fucking you earlier—" 

"he wasn't eye fucking me!" you gasp at her illicit way of expressing jake looking at you as he spoke, it was proper speaking courtesy (or perhaps your friends were right and you just didn't notice it!). 

karina gave you a lopsided smile and then continued as you caught up to her by her side while you guys made your way out of the sweaty bodies in the crowd.

"i was saying, especially when he was 'looking' at you earlier," she says, "seeun was literally shooting daggers at him." 

"are you serious?" you ask her, chuckling at the way she was over exaggerating it. maybe seeun is on the time of the month and wasn't feeling too well, or perhaps she didn't enjoy jake interrupting you four.

karina shakes her head at you, denying. 

"my gut and rina instincts says that……" she trails off with her index finger tapping into her chin while she pretends to think knowing damn well the answer is already in her head. 

"just say it!" 

"that seeun got jealous because jake was talking to you and not her!" 

you halt your steps, immediately tugging karina back due to you two holding hands and you stare at her, completely stunned. 

"i don't know if your speciality is being dense or— there's no way in hell that's possible," you say to karina, shaking your head at her statement. 

"what do you mean? you know she's always hyped when 02z hold parties and— and… you know!" karina whines, trying to justify her guess but she only gives it up when you laugh. 

"although you and i both know that's not true— but if it's actually true, then good for her, i'll keep my limits with jake for her sake, if that helps." you say and walk away last karina when you spot a vacant beach lounge. 

karina's instincts tingle again, but this time it indicates something's wrong, nevertheless she just pushes it to the back of her mind and heads over to you, deciding that minding her own business as of now seemed like a better option. 

as soon as you both settle down, you take off your clothes and now, in your bathing suit, ready to sunbathe due to the weather being just perfect for it. 

you turn to ask karina to give the sunblock moisturizer, but she's already somehow dozed off with a book on top of her face, covering her sleeping state. 

sighing, you pick it up yourself and sit back down to apply it on, but just as you were about to, your attention is caught by a person at the opposite of you in the pool, surrounded by a flock of girls. 

although you're sitting on the chair, you couldn't help but feel your knees weak when you see his skin glistering under the sun from the water and his hair just slicked back, a few strands sticking onto his forehead just like jake from before. 

jay's gaze remains on you despite the girls practically pushing themselves on him and you weren't going to lie, that definitely gave you quite an ego boost and made you feel some type of way. 

as if he's only focused on you even if the most charming girl wants him.

lips curling up into a smirk, you let out a breathy laugh when one of the girls slides her hand up his chest, pulling him onto her shoulder, like a hug but she's practically lying on him. 

nevertheless the gaze of the boy doesn't leave yours and somehow you feel like you're entitled to retort back, in a way.

two can play at this game, for sure. 

squirting the liquid from the bottle, you drop the bottle and spread the liquid on your skin, all while making sure you're doing it in the most sensual way possible. applying the moisture on your legs, slowly while remaining eye contact with him and a growing smirk in your face. 

what you didn't expect out of that action is for jay to push off the girls and swim his way towards you. that's was quick, you thought and pushed your hair forward onto your right side. 

"what do you think you're doing?" is the first thing he says and your smirk is immediately replaced with a scowl. 

"well, hello to you too jay!" you scoff, though that doesn't really seem to phase jay. 

"you're not answering my question," he says, leaning into the tiles and squinting his eyes at you. if he definitely wasn't being rudely annoying, you would've gave him a compliment or two because holy hell, was this boy fine as fuck.

"a—" 

"i asked what do you think you're doing?" he asks, cutting you off. you're starting to wonder if he had always been this annoying before. 

too bad as far as you could, he wasn't even this rude before, jay seemed to have a knack for it now. college must've changed him.

"why does it matter to you what i do?" you ask, rolling your eyes at him. jay glares at you sharply before, he jabs his tongue against his inner cheek. 

truth to be told, your heart wasn't the only thing pulsing. 

"well it does. don't do that again, especially to just anyone, y/n, im serious." he says, getting out from the pool with water just dripping down his body and it was truly taking everything in you to not gawk at him, shamelessly. 

"and i'm serious jay, there's nothing wrong with what happened, i was just applying sunscreen." you justify with the growing smile in your face that makes jay snap. 

"just applying sunscreen?" he asks, even copying the tone you used. "i don't think so y/n, looks like you were trying to do something else there."

"huh, really? and what would that be then?" you ask, gasping at the end to add a little bit of attitude as you laid back in your chair, looking up at him. 

"are you kidding me right now?" 

"oh, no! i'm not, why would i?" you gasp, faking a shock in surprise when he asks you the obvious. "i mean, you said i was trying to do something else and i have no idea what i was trying to do like you said, so please, enlighten me, jay?" 

jay bends down, leaning over close to you so he's on the same eye level as you. pressing down on your thigh, making your stomach do flips, he sighs. 

"don't press my buttons, y/n, i know what you're trying to do, don't." he says, with a small nonchalant smirk. 

"w—" 

"y/n." you never knew your name sounded so good before, and jay saying it has you tongue tied.

 "you'll tempt me too then." 

if that didn't leave you speechless, you certainly don't know what would and with that being plastered on your entire face, jay's smirk grows bigger and he just walks off, leaving you flustered. 

"f-fuck." you breathe out, bringing your hand to your face to feel so hot it was getting. your face was hotter than the weather itself, and that spoke for itself. 

when you got back home, you were glad the boys weren't back yet because you didn't know what to do if you ever saw jay again. you just didn't know how to react if you saw him again and the only thing that'll flash through your mind is the scene from the pool party before. 

how could something so meaningless like that affect you this much? you didn't know the answer yourself. 

after escaping from your friends, jay, your brother and coming back home, you just rushed to take shower and shut yourself in your room. 

only after a few hours did the boys finally come back home and you made sure to avoid jay every way possible, though you were already locking yourself inside your room. 

and the scene from the pool earlier just couldn't stop playing in your head like a broken cassette tape. 

like what the fuck was "you'll tempt me too then," even meant, because that was something that definitely had thinking about all night, not a single blink of sleep did you have tonight. 

you glance over at the clock on your nightstand for the 100th time tonight, showing it's just past three a.m. and your stomach starts rumbling. 

you missed dinner from trying to hide from jay, though your mom insisted on sending it to you upstairs, you figured you'd be fine just missing one meal. seems like it's not. 

slipping out of your sheets, you walked out of bed and headed downstairs when you were sure it was pitch black and eerie silent in the dark hours of the night. you see all the rooms were closed so that probably meant everyone was asleep, at least you hope they were. 

cause as soon as you walked into the kitchen, your soul almost left your body when you see a tall figure leaning against the cabinets, scrolling through his phone. 

"oh my fucking god," you gasp, holding onto your chest as your other hand flicks on the light switch, revealing jay looking at you with his eyebrows furrowed. "you scared me!" 

no reaction is on his face even when you approach him with another gasp from staring at his forehead. 

"were you at the tracks? what happened!" shrieking, you move his hand out of the way and examine the wound on his head. it was a cut, but it looked like it wasn't treated yet, that would lead to an infection. 

when he doesn't answer even when you move back, you gasp, once more time. 

"did you get into a fight?!" 

"it wasn't a fight, y/n." he replies, and puts his palm against the wound to hide it but only winces in pain when his hand makes contact with the wound. 

"then what the hell happened?" 

"why are you worrying?" he asks, shutting his phone off and placing it on the table, right next to you and turns his focus into you. 

you should be asking yourself the same question too, why exactly are you worried about him. sure you should worry, but worrying in this way, that wasn't necessary. 

but you still find yourself worrying as soon as you see the wound in his pretty face though you can just go on with your day, just gasping at first sight, telling him to treat it and a get well soon, would've been fine but— worrying up close, doesn't seem like what a normal person would do. 

"i'm not worrying! but the wound isn't treated, it can turn out worse, jay." you say, and turn around to go take the first aid kit but a hand wrapping around your arm pulls you back. 

"there's no need for that, it's just a minor injury." 

"did you get into a fight? there's no way a minor injury can look like this?" you ask him, looking up at his wound then back to his face. it annoys you that he's looking at you with a relaxed smile because you would be crying your ass out for that shit hurting like hell. 

"no— no, not a fight, again." he says, and lets go of your arm. "i just kind of fell," 

"fell?!" 

"y/n, it's not that deep, i'm fine." he says, stopping you from saying anything more. "really— and you said you're not worrying, to me this definitely looks like you're worrying." 

your mouth opens and closes when no words seem to come out of it, immediately embarrassing yourself. you hate yourself for getting easily flustered by him. 

you move away and awkwardly look away, avoiding his gaze that's burning into your back. you can practically feel his eyes on your entire body, and damn right you just had to wear the most skin showing nightwear. 

"what are you so late for?" he asks, breaking the tense atmosphere created in so little time. you turn around to look at him, and he's leaning against the counter, now with his elbows propped up as he looks at you. 

does this man know how fine he is?

"couldn't sleep," you replied and then remembered the reason why you even came downstairs in the first place. 

you walk past him to the opposite side of the kitchen, and tiptoe to reach the upper shelf to get the ramen packet you hid just a few days ago, from sunghoon just in case he tries to steal it all. 

too bad, that didn't end well for you because now you're struggling to reach the upper part of the cabinet and the fact jay is just watching you was making you embarrassed. 

you're not short— you have the average height for every teen your age, it's just the cabinet in the house is just way too high for you. and right now just had to be when your little stool is missing. 

jay is trying so hard to not stare at the way your thighs just keep on showing from how your dress is riding up each time you tiptoe more to reach the upper shelf. 

pushing himself off the counter, he strides to you and opens the cabinet above you catching you off the guard. his back against yours, and your back against his, you almost passed out at the feeling of his toned chest against your back the only thing separating your bodies are the thin clothings of yours and his. 

grabbing the packet, he doesn't move back yet instead he places the packet next to you, on the table making sure his skin is on yours as he places it down. it's making you light-headed, he knows what's he doing and you're liking it. 

"you could've just asked for help if you needed it." he says, but almost like an whisper to how close he is next to you. 

turning around, his arms traps you in between both arms on each side. the height difference was killing you but the way you're both looking at each other, it's filled with so much of tension. 

but two can play at this game, right? again. 

your lips turn upwards into a smile and your widened pupils turn into lazier ones, battling your eyelashes at him from underneath. you trail your hand up his firm chest, the ones that were on your back earlier.

and you lean closer, "very thoughtful of you," you say, smiling. "thank you, jay." 

with that, you push him aside and take the ramyeon packet with you to the stove area, leaving him completely flustered this time. if he thinks he can play you, you've done this million times before, you're definitely a pro. 

a scoff leaves jay before he crosses his arms and goes back to the counter and takes a seat on the lined up stools. 

just right before you put the noodles into the water in the pot, under the fire, you turn around to look back at the boy looking just right at you. 

"do you want to have ramyeon with me?" 

very crucial question that holds various of meanings. 

"sure—" 

"only on one condition." you cut him off. "get that wound treated." 

jay looks at you for a second and then takes off the leather jacket he has on. before replying, his lips curve into a smile as well.

"okay." 

A WOMAN AND A MAN eating ramyeon meant two things as far as you were concerned. one, just two normal friends or mutuals having a talk over ramyeon, just a simple thing!

another is two people on a date because person a asking person b to eat ramyeon with them means they're asking the other out, and if they say yes, then they're both going out. 

but what happened when you asked jay to eat ramyeon with him was really neither. because one, you're both not friends, nor are you two mutuals. you're both just— unlabeled, cause you both do not act like you're just friends. 

friends don't say things that keep them awake the entire night thinking about it, friends don't make each other feel things, giddy, and get butterflies. friends certainly don't just lean up to each other and flirt tremendously. 

jay is just your brother's best friend and you are just jay's best friend's sister. 

nothing more or nothing less, and that was killing you. 

the night you both are ramyeon together, nothing much even happened after that though you were secretly hoping for something to happen. 

apart from you both having a mild conversation on how life was after being away from home for college and how's senior life, nothing even happened. not even skinship, that's how it was. 

when you asked jay about his social life and dating stuffs, everything he replied seemed so new. you were expecting some type of 'oh nothing new, just sunghoon type of shit'. 

but instead you were stunned by his replies. 

" so how's college life? sunghoon hasn't mentioned any girlfriend yet," you ask, ignoring the small pang at the mention of jay having a girlfriend. sometimes you just be doing the damage to yourself.

"oh, well— i'm really not into that anymore." 

"you're gay?!" 

"y/n, no?" jay laughs at your sudden outburst, wishing he could capture the moment when your face is already puffy and the noodles halfway stopped between your pouty lips as you stare at him with big eyes. "i'm not gay, i'm just not interested in commitments at the moment." 

"oh," 

"why? are you disappointed?" 

"what? that you're not gay?" 

"no, that i'm not committed." 

"why would i be disappointed about that?" you laugh, waving him off and continue chewing on the noodles. 

but his next question makes you choke. 

"so you're glad i'm not seeing anyone?" 

"WHAT! YOU'RE JUST PUTTING WORDS INTO MY MOUTH!" 

jay laughs out loud but you smack the table and he lowers down his wheezing, to the point where he almost falls from the chair he's sitting on. 

"it's not funny, stop making fun of me." 

"okay, okay." 

"so, then you're not into dating and stuff and all?" you ask him, deciding to snoop in more. 

"not exactly, i just— don't want to date the wrong person, if that person is not who i want to spend my everything with then dating them is really not worth the time, though college is the time of your life where you just go crazy and have fun because you'll never experience the same thing again but to me, i want this part of my life to be as meaningful as the rest, so i want the right person to do it with." 

"did you steal that off a movie?" 

"y/n." 

"geez i was joking— but uh wow, that's great. i hope you get what you want, and be happy." 

"thanks," 

"so you're also saying your only partner at the moment is your hand?" 

"Y/N!" 

"WHAT IM JUST ASKING?" 

"why do you want to know about that!" 

"because you said you're not in—" 

"that doesn't mean i don't get laid now or then?" 

"oh i see….." 

"i have my fair amount of one night stands and you know.. but, i meant romantically when i meant committed." 

"wait so—" 

jay stuffs the poached egg into your mouth right when you open it to speak. your words become muffled and his giggles at you getting angrily cute, according to him!

"no more questions unless you want to get your little crush on me gone."

whatever jay was thinking when he said that night definitely has succeeded into having him invade your mind and staying there, rent free. he hasn't left your mind ever since, even when you're hanging out with your friends all you can think of is him. 

if you haven't realized it by now, jay has a charm for making girls starstruck on him. maybe now you can relate to all those girls that literally look at him with big heart eyes. 

"y/n!" seeun shoves your shoulder, snapping you out of your dilemma. 

"ah yes, you were saying?" 

"were you not listening?" 

you look away, remaining silent and seeun just sighs really loud. 

"you've been distracted ever since i came here!" she says, sulking into her seat and you turn to look at her. 

"i'm sorry, i just— something's on my mind and i can't get it out.." you trail off, pouting at her in an attempt to make her stop sulking. 

"so what is it?" 

"what's what?" 

"what's got you thinking like that, that you can't get it out of your mind?" 

seeun's question has you sighing as you fall back onto your bed. "im in confusion." 

"what's the confusion you're in?" she asks, leaning forward, eyebrows furrowed. 

"i think i'm attracted to jay, and i think I want him to be the summer fling i mentioned." when summer started, and when you guys all went on break, you and the rest had a conversation about

"what? y/n, what?" 

"i said i think i'm attracted to jay and i want him to be the summer fling." 

"are you serious right now?" 

"yeah? you already know i'm barely ever interested in anyone else and jay seems to be the only guy that has me feeling stuff and it's summer, like you said, a summer fling. he's a perfect candidate for that." 

"no y/n, why jay?" seeun asks, with a weird tone in her question that doesn't sit right with you for some reason. 

"why not jay?" you ask her, furrowing your eyebrows, confused as why it can't be jay. 

"you know better than anyone else that anyone related to your brother and his friends, or even his friends, is seriously bad news." she reasons. "jay is bad news, y/n, you know it." 

"at least he isn't as bad as hoon and jake, seeun…" 

"men are men, y/n. you know how they play girls, especially the 02z, things do not end well at all." 

"seeun i don't even like him romantically so i don't know what isn't going to 'not end well'." you say, shrugging. 

"sooner or later you will y/n, I'm warning you now, there's plenty of other people that can be your summer fling why does it have to be park jay?" she asks, shaking her head at you trying to justify your choice. 

"i won't seeun, i know it. it's just summer, it'll be over before you know it, and i'll be going to college after that, it could be great to get any experience before that too— and jay, doesn't seem like too much of a bad idea at all." 

"y/n…." 

"seeun! it's gonna be fine, you know how i am— why don't you trust me with this? you guys told me to let loose and have fun!" 

seeun sighs, knowing she can't talk you out of this especially when you're already hard on your summer fling being jay. she just doesn't get why it has to be him. 

"it's that i don't trust you, i just don't trust him." 

you chuckle at her, placing your hand on hers, and give her a reassuring smile. 

"just— just don't get into any trouble and when the damage is done, don't say i didn't say so…." 

after the talk with seeun, you both ended up just watching a movie and when dinner time came around, seeun left before the boys got back home. you didn't understand why she was so worked up over you wanting to have a summer fling with jay, although she was the most hyped when the news of the boys being back in town was mentioned. 

you figured it's probably because she's worried that you wouldn't be having much time to spend with the rest during the break because you'd be with jay— that seemed to be the only logical reason as to why she reacted like that earlier.

"you smell like tar, and smoke." 

sunghoon scrunches up his nose at the smell radiating off his clothes when he brought his jacket near his nose at your comment. 

"oh, i do." he coughs, shaking his head. 

"go and shower, it stinks!" you groan, pushing him towards the stairs when he threatens to come near you. "we can watch a movie after dinner!" 

"you can't bail out okay? I don't want to hear that you're sleepy—" 

"yes sunghoon, yes okay! just get rid of the smell!" you sigh, and he finally leaves without any other argument. you guess they might have been at the racing track from the smell and how exhausted they looked. 

as soon as they all got back, jake and jay rushed upstairs to shower and get ready for dinner while as sunghoon lingered around the kitchen where your mom and you were complaining that he smelt like tar and smoke. 

it always surprised you how your mom was okay with sunghoon racing, although it's dangerous and not safe at all. perhaps maybe because your dad used to be a racer back when he was in his young adult phase before he tied the knot with your mom and then decided to become an engineer.

you guess maybe your mom thinks he could turn out like your dad, that racing is just a phase in his life before he figured out that it's just a waste of time that he has potential for something else. 

you don't know, but whenever sunghoon does racing, your anxiety is always through the roof, hoping he comes back home safe and sound, not a single scratch on his body although that was impossible. accidents always came along with racing, this always gave you and your parents the scare of their lives. 

"let's eat!" your mother chirps, calling you to the table as soon as the boys get back downstairs to eat. 

dinner went by pretty much fine, except for the most parts you and jay's stares just couldn't leave each other, not that anyone noticed. everyone was too engulfed in your mother's cooking and the conversation going on to care about sunghoon's little sister and his best friend stealing glances too often..

"i'll pick the movie!" sunghoon says, rushing to the living room as soon as everyone's done with dinner. you help your mom with the dishes along with jake while jay and sunghoon went over to pick a movie. 

your parents excused themselves, saying they were too tired to join you guys for movie time, which you guys didn't mind at all. if anything, you guys preferred it that way. 

sunghoon ended up picking a basic rom-com,, he reasoned his choice with how this girl he hooked up with would not stop talking about the show, so he wanted to see what's the hype with it. 

you, jay and jake just agreed with his choice knowing if you guys were to disagree there wouldn't be any other choices to pick from. jake takes the longer couch, laying down almost immediately after winning a scissor, paper, stone with sunghoon. 

your brother sprawls out on the floor, with his blanket wrapped around his body and about four pillows surrounding him, including the one under his head too. 

that leaves you and jay, standing awkwardly having to choose but to settle down on the smaller yet regular couch. the couch isn't too bad, you can fall asleep on it, the only downside (pro)  about it is the limited space. 

it's like the couch is perfectly built for two people squished up together. you just sigh quietly and take a seat on one end while jay takes a seat on the other end. you two don't say anything for the most part when the movie starts. 

the basic storyline of the movie already has you zoning out, and staring at other objects around the living room halfway into the movie. when you turn to your right you see jay's side profile, and you're starstruck. 

you've seen his side profile before but the view you have now is just astonishing. somehow under the dim light of the living room, the only source of light coming from the large hd smart TV in your living room, he looks gorgeous to say the least. 

you notice his faint birthmark on his neck, realising how pretty and how perfect it described him. his relaxed yet clenched jaw from focusing on the movie you find yourself smiling at how pretty he looked with his hair down.

"is it interesting?" 

you blink and jay's looking at you with a small smirk as he leans in to whisper-ask you. 

"huh?" 

"you don't seem to find the movie much more interesting compared to my face," 

"uh— what, i wasn't looking," you say, clearing your throat from being caught red handed. "i just happened to turn to my right side and…" 

"and?" 

"and.. nothing, why are you staring at me?" you ask, turning to face him. 

"me? staring at you?"

"yeah, how would you know i'm staring at you then?" 

"what? i just felt like someone was staring, i turned and loo—"

"see? you were looking!" 

the two of you are stopped by a sleepy jake who groans at the two of you quarreling. 

"if you guys are going to argue, keep it down a little…." he slurs before falling back onto the couch and snoring away in his sleep. 

jay sighs at his friend and then turns back his attention to the TV while you're left looking between jay and a sleeping jake. guessing he's probably past the argument seeing that his eyes are glued to the tv, you just decided to do the same, continue watching the show although your mind was all about jay. 

however as soon as you turn your attention to the tv, your eyes almost widen at the scene ongoing. it just really had to be a steamy scene, especially with the boy beside you, this is a hard take.

taking your bottom lip under your top teeth, you bite on it when the main leads are practically on top of each other, hands all over each other and you try to hide the flustered smile when the actors make out with each other. 

your mind was going frenzy at the way the scene was unfolding with your things clasped against the other, trying to hold in the feeling pooling in the pit of your stomach. 

something about the scene was making you feel stuff, with the boy next to you, there was no way in your mind you had another image playing. 

all unbeknownst to you that jay was watching all along, a smirk placed on his lips at how you were reacting to the scene. he found it— interesting. 

jay couldn't help but think about how mature you've gotten over the time he's been away with your brother at college. he wonders if you're even into this type of stuff considering how famous you are among boys at school and whenever you go. 

he remembers back to the moment he saw you as soon as you got home on the day they arrived back in town, he couldn't stop looking at you. somehow over the months you had gotten taller, your curves perfectly complemented you, your hair has gotten longer, your voice made him so weak in the knees— everything about you changed. 

you are just so gorgeous now he's baffled everytime he sees you. even when you're in your nightwear, face natural— he can't help but think how beautiful you are.

for the better, you've grown into a pretty woman now and that definitely has a totally big effect on him. 

jay knows he's wrong for even thinking and seeing you that way, especially when your brother has been his lifelong best friend, so the betrayment sunghoon would feel if he ever found how jay thinks of you would be awful.

but something in him just can't stop seeing you that way, he's been seeing you as the y/n rather than sunghoon's little sister for the longest time ever.

"you're really looking at me now." 

jay snaps out of this thoughts at you leaning towards him this time, chuckling at his zoned out expression. 

"what?" 

"you should take a picture, it'll last longer." you say, looking away back to the movie where the heated scene is still going on. you're thanking every deity out there that sunghoon is also passed out because he would freak out and change the show asap, saying how you're too innocent to watch it all and stuff.

you're a virgin, it's true but— it's not like you didn't know anything of that. all the fanfics you stayed up reading played a big part in that.

"oh i wish i can, y/n." jay replies, leaning backwards onto the couch and pushes his lower half forward which makes your grip on your thigh harder. 

god, you just really had to find that attractive. 

and you process what he just said. 

"but my phone is charging, too bad right?" 

another statement that makes your jaw drop, immediately amusing jay. you don't find anything to say, absolutely starstruck at his way of making you speechless. 

it's a talent, really. 

"are you enjoying the movie?" 

i guess, but the movie in my head where the maincast playing that scene is the both of us is so much better though, you wish you could say that, but that can end in two ways. 

him agreeing to make it a reality and him storming off calling you a weirdo for seeing him that way. 

"uh, yeah, i guess so…" you say instead. 

"really? how would you rate it?" you're stunned, you don't know if he's playing with you or not because you're too tongue tied to say anything. 

"what are you so flustered for y/n, i'm just asking what do you think about the movie?" 

"we're not done with the movie yet so i—" you're cut off the guard and halfway when jay all of a sudden leans in so close to you, making you shut your eyes in reflex, thinking he's coming in for a kiss. 

it only takes you a few seconds to realize you're probably the biggest idiot on earth right now when you open your eyes and jay is a few inches away from your lips to collide before he pulls away with something in his hand. 

"i can't hear you over the sound," he smirks, shaking the remote in his hand, knowing damn well he's clearly messing with you. 

you scoff and cover your lips with your palm, shaking your head in disbelief. you really didn't think he wasn't going to kiss you at the speed he came at. 

"were you expecting something else?" 

"what? you're being ridiculous— i'm not!" 

"is that so? then why'd you close your eyes?" 

"i didn't—" 

"you're a bad liar," jay sighs, smiling at you being so restless trying to escape whatever he's trying to trap you into. 

"you're so annoying." you scoff, and push the pillow of your lap and get off the couch. however just before you could take a step further, you're being tugged back by your hand and you fall back onto the couch— not really the couch, you sure fell onto someone, something.

"a—" you slap your hand against your mouth, shielding a loud yelp from escaping your mouth incase you'd wake up your brother and his friend. 

you personally don't think it's a very appropriate and friendly sight for your brother to wake up to his best friend and little sister on top of each other, inches away from their lips colliding. 

"what are—" 

"shh," jay places his index finger on top of your lips and his finger relaxes at the plump flesh of it, so soft and tender. 

you don't say anything except for staying on top of him, with his one arm around your waist, holding you in place and his other against your lips, keeping you silent from waking up the rest when jake starts to move around in his place. 

hearts beating against the cages, you both finally sigh of relief when jake's slight snores are heard again. your head falls against jay's slowly and his eyes flicker up to match yours. 

jay's grip against your waist becomes firm making butterflies erupt in the pit of your stomach and if you were being honest, it was turning you on at the hand placement and the sudden change in the atmosphere from playful to something more tense. 

your mouth opens but closes back when you find words to say, to address the situation before you embarrass yourself again though from the way he's looking at you it's making you dizzy. 

"may i touch you?" 

"yes," you breathe out.

"you can close your eyes this time." 

your heart flutters at his words before a smile takes upon your lips and his when your eyes closed shut and you feel jay pull you closer for a kiss.

it was finally happening. 

or was it?

"OH MY GOD!" your eyes snaps open at the sudden scream from a voice that sounded like sunghoon's before you practically fly off the couch and land into the ground with the loudest thud. 

so loud that jake himself jolts awake in shock and you're groaning from the sharp pain in your ass while jay jumps off the couch himself. 

"dude what the fuck!" jake gasps, rubbing his face from the sudden thud and scream. 

sunghoon blinks and looks around, realizing that he woke up the entire living room and perhaps your parents too by the way they're rushing down the stairs, worriedly. 

"are you kids alright?! what was that sound!" your mom shrieks, and her gaze immediately falls onto you who's on the ground, rubbing your ass trying to soothe the pain. 

"y/n?! what happened?" 

you sigh, shaking your head at how fucking embarassing this is. first you think jay was gonna kiss you and you got teased for it when he purposely was messing with you, then you both are actually about to kiss and sunghoon screams like there's no tomorrow in his sleep and then you fall to the floor straight on your ass? 

couldn't get any worse to be honest. 

"oh— uh i accidentally fell…" you trail off, grabbing onto your mom that helps you to get onto the couch. 

"what? did you have a nightmare or something!" 

"no, it's sunghoon!" you scoff, pointing to the bleached haired boy who's clearly still in daze, not completely awake from his slumber. 

"park sunghoon? why did you scream like you were getting robbed!" 

"ah mum…." his voice cracks, rubbing his eyes. "i had a nightmare.." 

"you kids are going to be the death of me one day," your mom sighs, shaking her head at the two of her kids, disappointing her even in the middle of the night. 

at least you were saving both yours and jay's ass, except your ass is currently in pain. 

you look over to jay who's staring back at you with a worried look which makes you sigh. 

gosh, you couldn't even get mad at him— how is it fair for him to look cute in a situation where your ass is busted because of him.

"sorry," he mouths to you and you shake your head, looking away and trying to get up but wince in pain.

your parents eventually told you guys to pack it up for the night and head upstairs to sleep, which you guys abided by. jay was clearly trying to apologize to you, hoping you aren't too hurt because he really wasn't trying to hurt you by pushing you away so hard. 

if only it wasn't for his best friend to wake up from a nightmare, he would've finally bagged the kiss from the girl he's been crushing on for a lifetime. 

rolling into your bed, you couldn't help but place yours finger in your lips, ghosting over the place where jay's lips could've been at. 

if only your brother hadn't woken up from a nightmare, you could've kissed the boy you've been trying to court for the summer. 

THIN LINE, that's what you're on at the moment and you think you might go insane from how things are for you and jay. it shouldn't even be this much of a big deal to you but the opposite is what it seems like. 

after the whole almost kissing and you falling right on your ass fiasco, you don't know if things got better or for the worse between you and the boy you have heart eyes bulging out of your eye sockets for. 

what you can definitely say is, whatever tension you both have between the two of you has only gotten more thicker, and stronger. even the slightest eye contact has you biting on your lips to not get swayed by him, and it's the vice versa for him as well. 

jay's trying to keep his cool whenever he's around you, and especially in front of sunghoon. the guilt in him only has been building up the more he wants you. 

it's a few days into the summer and you've barely gotten it together. even wooyoung has tried to help you by 'just get into a room with him and get freaky!' which you think is totally the entire point of it but you barely even kissed— so that's a miss. 

"no seriously, what are you even going to do then?" wooyoung shrikes shaking your shoulder while you just sigh, letting your head fall forward onto his chest. "i'm starting to think this summer will end and you will move out by the time you even get into his pants." 

"and i'm starting to think you aren't into choi san anymore," 

you push yourself off wooyoung softly to look up at karina who's chewing on her gum as she walks into the living room, with a glass of cold iced water in her hand.

you think you might need one too at this point. 

"that's," wooyoung scoffs, crossing his arms together. "never going to happen. i will get that man and w—" 

"i don't want to hear the rest." karina shoves a new piece of gum into his mouth, shutting him up immediately. wooyoung slaps her hand on his face and rolls his face. 

"so, y/n?" 

you look at the two of them, back and forth as they stare back at you. 

"i don't know!" you whine, falling back onto the couch, next to wooyoung who's chewing on his gum loudly that you wish you had a mute button for. 

"girl if you really don't do anything any time soon, you can just kiss your chance with his goodbye!" karina says, shrugging. "you know how popular jay is here, and girls are practically lined up for him— YOU NEED TO DO SOMETHING!" 

you sigh once again, this time looking out the large sliding door which leads outside to the pool and bbq area in your backyard. 

"how do i just go up to him and be like 'hey jay, uhm let's kiss! okay, so now uh do you wanna be my summer fling with no attachments like yes let's fuck around for the entire and not catch feelings because im kinda only attracted to you like in that way but like not being mean but catching feelings isn't going to end well in the long run' is that what you want me to say?" 

karina and wooyoung just blink profusely, utterly in shock at your long ass reply— totally stunned. 

"aren't you lying, what do you mean 'im kinda only attracted to you like in that way' what happened to 'hes the only guy that makes me feel things that other guys don't'?" wooyoung leans forward, putting his index finger up to explain his point.

"yeah, don't you like him already? isn't that why you want to fuck him?" 

"you guys make me sound like a whore." you deadpanned. 

"that's besides the point," karina tsks, shaking her head. "y/n, don't you like him already?" 

"i don't." you actually don't know, you think you don't. feeling stuff like these is common when you're attracted to someone, it doesn't specifically have to be romantically. although somewhere in you is saying you're wrong for that.

wooyoung gives karina a look when you deny her question. "so what, are you gonna like him or something?" 

"no," you pause. "i won't, yeah i won't like him in that way. i told you guys, catching feelings for him is not going to end well in the long run." 

"when summer is over, leaving is going to be really bad for us, if we catch feelings for each other— and i don't want that mess, so no." 

wooyoung shakes his head, unsure of you. he knows you're not the type to catch feelings so easily and commit, in fact, you don't ever date anyone. the last time you dated someone it was in eight grade and it only lasted for a matter of time until park sunghoon found out and made you dump him. that's probably where he developed the whole overprotective of my baby sister agenda. 

"okay. if that's what you want, then we won't stop you. but you know, we'll always be here when summer ends and you get your heart broken by accidentally catching feelings for the jay park and having to break off." 

"fuck you that's not going to happen, woo." 

"w—" 

"GUYS." karina stops you both from going into an argument, putting her hands between the two of you. "if y/n is confident she wants this fling without any attachments then let her be so, that's a later thing to worry about. what's important now is," 

"how will you court him?" 

before you could answer her, the front door opens and your brother walks in, taking off his jacket while he's on the phone. 

"alright dude, see you soon."

when he ends the call, you're intrigued by what he's so smiley at. 

"what's the news, you seem to be so happy about it?" you ask, standing up and looking over at your brother whole looks at you with s grin. 

"mom and dad aren't going to be home tonight." 

"and?"

"everyone's about to experience the best party in town after the longest time." 

your jaw drops slack and you stare at him with wide eyes along with the two idiots behind you. 

"you're hosting a party?" 

"yeah. it's gonna be so sick," 

sunghoon says and rushed upstairs in a blink of an eye. karina pulls you around and back onto the couch, a big smile like your brother's on her face. 

"guess what this means?" 

"if san is coming i'm gonna look breedable ton—"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" 

"geez okay, so what does this mean?" wooyoung scoffs, rolling his eyes at the both of you cutting him hallway about his little fantasy of getting fucked by his crush. 

"it's time to court jay park, y/n." 

"WHAT THE FUCK?" jake gasps, almost dropping his beer in the red solo cup he has his fingers wrapped around. 

sunghoon bursts into laughter at his friend being shocked by the results he got from a random tarot reading that a random kid decided to do for free in exchange of a blunt. the boys don't question why the random carried around a deck of cards however, as long as it was entertaining. 

"dude, why are you so surprised your sex drive is so high? as if you're not self aware?" sunghoon asks, laughing at his friend in utter shock. 

"shut the fuck up bro," he whines, shaking his head trying to beat the allegations that's unfortunately true. 

"god i don't even want to think about it, you must be going at it like fuckin' rabbits!" 

"DUDE SHUT UP!" jake shrieks, standing up from the seat and pushing off sunghoon who seems to be having a hard time with trying to hold back his loud laughter over the music. 

"jay, you're not even gonna defend me?" 

the mentioned boy looks at his friends after taking a sip from the beer in his hand as well. "no, you can't deny what's true, right jake?" 

"you guys suck," he scoffs playfully, and walks off leaving the two to themselves surrounded by wasted people and it hasn't even been two hours since the party started. 

sunghoon laughing finally dies down and he takes a deep breath before taking a sip from his cup too, next to his friend. 

"jake's ridiculous man," he sighs, smiling at the scene from before that makes him chuckle again before jay gives him up and he shuts up. 

"alright fine, i'll stop laughing about it!" sunghoon says, putting his hand up in defense which makes jay shake his head, disappointed when sunghoon slaps his hand against his mouth to hold back a laugh. 

"i gotta tell y/n about this, it's so funny like the way he.." sunghoon's words mix along with the blasting music as jay dazes off into a corner when you're mentioned. 

come to think of it, he hasn't seen you around for the night and to be honest, it made him a little bummed about being at the party where you aren't. don't get him wrong, he loves his friends and all, but just drinking and talking to his friend gets boring overtime. 

he wonders if you're in your room, he didn't see you when he got back home earlier, he figured you're out with your friends. but seeing that there's no sight of you walking into the house from the front door, he thinks you're in your room, preferring to stay away from the crowd. 

"dude, you listening?" 

"ah, yeah, yeah…" jay replies, trailing off when he sees sunghoon raise his eyebrows up, a look he gave when he doesn't believe what the other is saying.

"really, man?" 

"sorry, my bad—" 

"you're so out of it ever since we got back in town," sunghoon says, nudging jay's shoulder. "is this really the effect of no pussy?" 

"hoon," jay whines, leaning his head back hoping his friend would leave him alone about him not getting laid. it's the topic he dreaded the most with his friends. 

"nah man, you really need to get laid. seriously, hasn't it been awhile?" 

"sunghoon—" 

"get laid dude, tonight. this party is a perfect chance, get with anyone seriously, i saw a hot chick just now, she seemed like your type—" 

"do you even know what my type is?" your  sister.

"uh, it doesn't matter dude if she can get the job done then it's not a big deal!" 

"this sounds like it's a talk for jake," jay says, chuckling when he waits for sunghoon to retort back with a laugh but when he gets no response, he leans back forward to see sunghoon, jaw slacked on the floor staring right into the crowd.

oh.

"d—" 

"what's she doing here?" 

jay stares back and forth between his friend and the one and only, first love of his. he didn't know she was going to be here, perhaps she was in town too but if she was gonna be here then the boys would've gotten the news earlier. 

it must've been a last minute plan, he figures. 

"fuck." sunghoon breathes out when the girls walks over him. sunghoon takes a swing on the beer, chugging it all down before hastily shoving the solo cup into jay's hand and gets up. 

he grabs the girl's wrist by her hand and disappears into the crowd somewhere. now jay's alone, one probably deep into a random girl adding numbers to his body count and another reconciling with his first love. 

and jay well, he's stranded alone— actually not, because with his gaze falling on you almost immediately as soon as he spots you, it makes him drop the two cups, beer spilling onto the ground. 

that didn't seem to be his priority when you're making your way towards him now.

"hey," 

"hey," jay says, taking in your presence next to him. sunghoon's right, he's been out of it ever since he got back in town. it wasn't because he wasn't getting laid, it was because of you. 

you're making him feel all sorts of things recently,  all these past he's had nothing but just a crush on you. a crush where you see your crush and it makes you feel all giddy and on cloud 9. but recently, it's something different.

something that makes him want you, so bad that he can't imagine you being someone else's. someone that irks up something in his when he sees you, wanting to push you against the wall and take you just right there. 

"i didn't know you'd be here tonight," 

"is it not my house?" 

"yeah but— you know i didn't mean it that way, obviously it's you—" 

"jay, i'm just messing with you, relax," you giggle, waving your hand at his face and jay thinks it's the prettiest sound he's ever heard. he's so whipped and it isn't going to end well, especially if sunghoon finds out his own friend knowing how he is with guys around his sister. 

jay gives you a smile and gets up from his seat before putting his hand out. 

"let's go get drinks." 

"I just got here!" you whine, leaning back onto the couch and your dress hikes up your thigh, exposing more skin and he looks away, trying to not do the one thing he promised himself to not do.

get hard because of you and it's really hard for him right now because you really just had to wear the prettiest dress showing off all your curves so perfectly, and the way your legs looked in it, god you're making him go crazy. 

"come on," he says, taking your hand in his and pulling you on your feet, you hold onto him with a smile and head over to the kitchen with him. 

the both of you walked into the kitchen and passed through the crowd of people and you were secretly glad you couldn't find sunghoon in sight because he'd so crazy at the sight of you and jay holding hands.

"anything in mind?" 

you shake your head as you look over the drinks on the aisle. most of them were alcohol, and you weren't really that big fan of it. it's just, okay. 

"is coke okay?"

"yeah," 

jay pours coke for you and him, and then hands you the cup. you take a sip from it and the fuzzy feelings send chills down your throat. 

"i like your dress." 

his comment makes your cheeks flushed and your heart skip. right, good thing he did because you spent about hours to find the perfect dress, just for him.

"thank you, jay." 

he gives you a smile, and moves closer. "your hair too, and your eye makeup, it's pretty." 

internally screaming WHAT THE FUCKKKKSNDNFMF while keeping your cool with just blushing crazily if the lights weren't dim, you'd look as red as a tomato. 

"thank you, again, jay." you chuckle, and give him the smile you try to hold back from how flustered he was making you with his compliments..

"you got so pretty over the months, you've always been pretty but, today, you're so gorgeous."

FUCOSKDKF WHYS THRUCOKKKK WHAT IS THE DOINNNGGGGGG GODDDDD FUCKEKKEKFKF WHATHRUCCKKKKSKNEND DIW HE DRUNK IS HE DIRINK HELLOOOO SEND HELSPPPS RIHHT NOWWWWWWWWWW.

"gosh—" you breathe out, giggling as you lean in and place your head on his shoulder, hiding away the really flustered expression you had on. "thank you for the compliments, i appreciate it, jay, really." 

he doesn't say anything except for just chuckling and then drinking his coke. with the last swing of coke, he places the cup down when you're done as well. 

you both just look around in silence, the loud music blasting through the entire house silencing out the chatting in the crowd. 

"do—" you speak up, looking at up. he looks back at you curiously, pupils dilated with his eyebrows furrowed and god, he was making you nervous. "do you wanna go somewhere else?" 

"are you uncomfortable, is eve—" 

"ah, uhm, i just— it's too loud in here, i can't focus on you." 

jay tries to not gasp at your words that make his heart skip and mind go frenzy. 

"oh, uh, sure." he says and you give him a smile before taking his hand in yours, fingers intertwined and pulling him away. your brother was still nowhere in sight and you couldn't thank him enough for that. 

hands in each other, you both go up the stairs and jay figures you're taking him to your room when you make a swift left through the corridor and he's right when you unlock the door to your room. 

he walks in behind you and when you shut the door and lock it, he just stares at you confused. he doesn't have any plans for anything, but it's good if sunghoon just barges in out of nowhere. in his entirety of being sunghoon's best friend and being over at your house, he sure knows sunghoon has a habit for not knocking when he walks into your room.

you turn around to see jay looking over you, with a small smile and a confused look. 

"oh, you should take a seat!" 

you say, and push him towards the edge of your bed by your desk. he takes a seat and you sit infront of him on your chair from your desk.

it's a little awkward at first but jay clears the air by looking around your room. he barely comes in here, it's a restricted zone in your home, sunghoon never allows anyone in here, and you don't allow anyone except for your friends. 

he examines the room and it's not that different from what he had imagined, it just screams you. other than the interiors and your room in white, there's a few decos that attract him attention. the wall of pictures and polaroids of you and your friends and family. 

there's childhood pictures of you and sunghoon on the wall where you both are dressed up as a lion and tiger, smiling brightly at the camera in complete cuteness.

jay smiles at how cute you are and how ridiculous sunghoon looks, if he ever got a hold of this, sunghoon would never hear the end of jay teasing him. 

then he notices a poster— of Jungkook from BTS. and then a few albums stacked under it and a lightstick, then a cooky pillow on your bed. wow, he figures you might be a fan of BTS by the looks of it.

"so, you like jungkook?" 

you look up almost immediately at the mention of the love of your life. "yes?! is that even a question?"

jay smiles at how cute you are when you're so interested in the topic he's discussing. 

"wow, so much?" 

"he's literally my lover, it's a given that i like him that much." you say, giggling as you slump back into your seat. "do you, like him?" 

"i guess you can say so, i have a few of their songs in my playlist," jay says, chuckling when you gasp. "do you have a few suggestions that you think i can add to my playlist?" 

"thanks for asking, i indeed do!" you say, smiling and jay laughs, lensing forward. he pulls the chair closer to the bed catching you by surprise, but you're flustered at how close you both are now, knees against each other and giggling. 

"should we get started then?" you ask, smirking at jay who gives you an ecstatic laugh and then continues to hear you out. 

and you both spent the rest of the night, talking about the things you both enjoy, and find out that you two have a lot in common. the thought of courting him honestly just disappears into the back of your mind, goes forgotten.

by the end of it, jay says he should leave, sunghoon would be finding for him (which he didn't because he was missing), and you heavy heartedly had to say goodbye, and a see you later. 

but before he left you gave him a small peck on his cheek that neither of you expected to happen but the small peck made the entire night for the both of you that even then next morning when your friends were crying why weren't you both deep inches in each other, you couldn't get the blushing away because of the peck. 

"the way these two could have been finally kissing but they were talking about y/n's stupid attraction for jungkook." wooyoung sighs, shaking his head.

you slam his head with a knock that has him screaming back at you for knocking him but you scoff, "fuck you, my love for jungkook is not stupid!" 

"okay can you both calm down—" you cut off karina but give her an attitude as well. 

"you guys shouldn't even be having this tantrum, when you guys promised to show up but y'all weren't even there!"

the rest of them go silent at your statement, clearly making him feel guilty. 

"uhm so anyways!" wooyoung says, putting his hand up. "there's a party tonight, again."

"im not going anywhere—"

"i never said we're going" 

"you were about to rig—" 

"oh my god, you guys need to stop fighting!" seeun yells, putting her hands out to stop both karina and wooyoung fighting. you slump into the couch, shaking your head at your friends. 

"so what now? what are we going to do about her, at this rate summer is gonna end." wooyoung says, shrugging. 

"nothing, i'll figure out something or fuck that— you guys should probably leave, didn't you say you're heading out for dinner?" you ask, looking over at karina. she gasp when she realises it's time for her dinner with her parents, so she hurries out of the door with a goodbye to everyone. 

not long after karina's departure, wooyoung and seeun also leave, bidding you goodbye and leaving you alone in your house, sweaty from the heatwave outside. 

it's so unbelievably hot, a thin layer of sweat covered on your skin despite wearing a spaghetti strap and shorts. you opted for the outifts that would help you with the heatwave, but the warmth is still the same, you're still sweating.��

and at times like this, ice cream will always be a saviour. you head over into your kitchen, opening the refrigerator and then the freezer to get out the ice cream container, feeling it heavy and your fingers getting numb at the coldness. 

setting it on the aisle, you open the cover and heart eyes basically bulge out of your eye sockets at how glorifying the ice cream looked like in this hot weather. nothing more can you ask for. 

you grab a spoon and stab it into the ice cream, ready to dig in but the spoon falls out of your hand and a faint crescent mark is formed on the top layer of the ice cream.

"fuck…." you sigh, realising it's going to take awhile to defrost. regardless you just kept on poking the ice cream with the steel spoon, grunting when your hand freezes and wrist hurts. 

"ah…" you whine, frustrated and tired, and most importantly sweaty. 

"uhm, am i interrupting something…?" 

you look up from the ice cream tub to see jake peeking into the kitchen, looking at you confused and a sly smirk on his lips. 

"no?" you reply, gripping onto the spoon again when your hand is ready to stab the ice cream once again. 

"it sounded like something," he says, shrugging as he approaches you. "like what, jake?" you ask, furrowing your eyebrows. 

"you wanna know, y/n?" 

"she doesn't," a voice speaks up and you see jay leaning against the door frame, staring at the two of you like he wants to knock jake's head. "pretty sunghoon doesn't want to either if he finds out what you're doing,"

jake rolls his eyes at jay for cockblocking him. "chill out dude, it's just a joke." 

before jay could do anything, you cut the two of them off and asked jake, "are you gonna tell me what's something or do i need to knock you out with this spoon?" 

"it sounded like you were finally getting dicked down." 

"WHAT?" you shriek and slap your hand against your mouth, looking back and forth at the double Js. 

jay kicks jake in his calf, making the poor boy cry out in agony at the pain. "dude what the fuck!"

"it's just a joke!" he says, smirking at the other and a smile grows on your lips when you see the bigger picture.

is he really….?

jake puts up a middle finger at his friend before turning to you. "but if you ever want to get dicked down, you have my n— okay fine! for god's fucking sake dude!" jake's sentence is short lived when jay threatens to kick him in the exact spot one more time to make him leave. 

limping off to the living room to wait for sunghoon to be back from his disappearance, the two of you are the only ones in the kitchen. 

the smile you're holding back so much grows even more when jay turns to you, taking the spoon out from your hand and then scoops the now melting ice cream, and pushes you aside. 

"what are you doing?" you ask him, with a sly smile on your face as you lean forward on the aisle, looking at him while he does the ice cream scooping. 

"scooping the ice cream for you?" 

"why? i can do it myself," 

"i know you can," jay says, and puts the spoon down when he's done. "i just don't want jake to say that shit again." 

"what? that i sound like i'm getting dicked down?" jay's stare immediately meets yours when you ask him the question, sending chills down your spine.

"yes," he admits. "is that a problem?" 

"why does it bother you if jake thinks i'm getting dicked down? or if he's the one fucking me down— in fact he even said 'finally getting dicked down?' what's that supposed to mean, i've been dicked down before, i have been touched before so why does it bother you two!" 

"because it does." 

"exactly, who does it bother you, jay?" you ask him, straightening your back and moving closer to jay who's staring at you with the most annoyed expression. he doesn't ever look like this unless he's jealous. 

unless he is….

"it bothers me because i don't like people taking what's mine," 

you don't know how to react, you've only ever read this in those smutty heated romance novels and movies, now that it's happening to you, you finally understand why those main leads go frozen.

though you have one thing to say.

"i'm not yours, jay." 

"you've been mine since day one," he says, pushing backwards towards the wall. "and i don't want to hear about anyone that has ever touched you before me, if it isn't clear yet." 

trapping you between the wall, he grips on your waist, and another on the side of your head while he looks down on you. if he wasn't so annoyed right now, he would've just called you unbelievably cute from how you're staring up at him with those starry eyes. 

"the moment you've let me touch you, you were mine." he says, and you were silently thanking every deity out there jay got jealous because of jake and you've finally gotten this chance. 

but on a normal day, if this wasn't jay saying this, you would've gagged at the cheesy line, so extremely corny as if it's out of some fanfiction that someone in their young adult phase write.

you take his hand off the wall next to you and place it on your waist, and then look up at him. 

"touch me." 

that was all it took for jay to pull you in and connect his lips with yours. he doesn't know what he was expecting but what you gave him was beyond the expectations. 

it was truly amazing. fireworks erupting, butterflies going crazy in the pit of your stomachs, funny feelings in your check and minds frenzy, the kiss was fucking hot. 

you're pressing against him with your back on the wall as your back arched slightly when your hips rut against his at your submission. if someone had told you this would've happened to you a long time ago, you would've never believed them. 

before you could slip your hands under his shirt, his hand beats you to it when you feel his warm hand against your skin under the back of your top which makes you gasp slightly. jay takes that opportunity to bite your bottom slightly, causing you to accidentally moan.  

"dude, have you seen my sister?" 

"she's in the kitchen with jay," 

your eyes snap open at the footsteps nearing the kitchen making you push jay away as quick as you could, catching him by surprise. 

"fuck," you pant, both from shock, panic and out of breath from kissing jay. "s-sunghoon!" you gasp, pointing at the kitchen and jay finally realises what's going on. 

standing across from you in the opposite of the kitchen, jay and you both fix your hair, straightening out your clothes and trying to make sure your faces don't look too flustered from the make out session. 

sunghoon finally walks into the kitchen and looks at you wide eyed as if he'd actually caught the two of you red handed. he points his finger at you and it makes your soul leave your body just at the thought of him catching you both, until he speaks up. 

"y/n." he says, and stares at you. "what do girls like on their actual first dates?" 

jay and you let out a sigh of relief when sunghoon asks something else that isn't related to what you both had feared for. 

"sunghoon, are you kidding me?" 

"what? i'm asking you a question what do g—" 

"is that why you ran all the way here for?" you scoff, crossing your arms and annoyed at the thought of how you and jay could've gone further than just a kiss. 

"what's wrong with that? you're acting like i caught you my best friend smooching off each others face," sunghoon deadpans you swore you never froze so quickly ever. good thing, sunghoon was always never a quick witted child, so your reactions wasn't too obvious for him though it would've been for any normal person. 

"so what do girls like on actual first dates?" 

before you could say anything, sunghoon cuts you off real quick. 

"wait," he stops, and clutches his crotch which makes you glare at him in disgust. "i need to piss, don't go anywhere, stay here" 

with that, he leaves you and jay in the kitchen and you turn to look at him, cheeks flustered and hearts beating again. 

"i'm not done with you yet," jay says and leaves the kitchen after giving you a eyebrow raise which makes you want to fall to the ground if it wasn't the wall you were leaning into. 

the ice cream he scooped for you long forgotten in the kitchen when you're touching your lips again, this time, with a bright smile and a heartwarming feeling lingering in the air only before your brother came back. 

"ARE YOU FUCKING FOR REAL? WHAT THE FUCK!" 

yup, those were the very expected reactions you expected from your friends when you told them the big news! 

"so is this like a joke or are you actually being for real?" wooyoung asks, again but this time after spitting out his drink and gaining weird looks from the other people around you guys in the diner. 

"yes wooyoung. i am being for real, what does it take for you to believe me?" you ask, sighing at him for asking you the same question again and again out of disbelief. 

honestly you couldn't blame him, when you woke up the next morning, you were so dazed that you thought you were dreaming until you got a smirk from jay when you caught him walking out of the bathroom in the hallway shirtless with a towel around his neck. 

and god did it make your pussy throb, maybe you just had issues. 

"i don't know, maybe demonstrate it again with your lover boy?" you gasp at wooyoung's absurd comment, shooting him a glare. 

"so, where do you guys go from here? any talking or just straight up heated sex?" karina asks and you're speechless. 

sometimes you wished your friends had filters whenever something came out of their mouths. 

"uhm, i don't know. we just kissed and he said he's not done with me yet so that question, the answer is only with him." you say, shaking your head before taking a sip from your smoothie. 

"well, i'm hoping you get dicked down finally. like it's been years." 

you roll your eyes at wooyoung, "now you sound like jake and," you pause. "it hasn't been years, seriously the last time was like two years ago?" 

"and it wasn't even a proper dicked down, y/n" wooyoung chuckles but stops himself when you glare at him, again!

"i was still dicked down." 

"uhm, the most you guys did was him getting his dick in you but freaking out because he literally pulled out and came even before he moved— so, sure if that counts." 

karina and you stare at wooyoung in absolute disgust and awe. 

"why the fuck do you even remember that?" karina asks, gagging at the memory of you telling them with tears streaming down your face two years ago, when the guy that liked you, which you decided to give a chance to. 

worst mistake of your life, if you had to admit.

"stop, he's so weird for that i'm glad i cut him off and sunghoon literally got detention and a black eye for almost beating the shit out of him." you say, rubbing your temple at the memory.

you remember how fuelled your brother was when he found out the kid made you cry, now you're thinking how he's going to react if he ever finds out that you and jay made out. 

his own sister and bestfriend going behind his back— but again, what he doesn't know won't hurt him, right?

"talking about sunghoon, i heard a thing about jay." karina speaks up, which perks your attention from your thoughts. 

"what does y/n’s loverboy has to do with her brother?" 

"is he not his bestfriend, you fucking idiot?" 

"oh yeah, damn sorry my bad!" 

"rina, what did you hear about him?" you ask, ignoring the small quarreling between the both of them which makes the two bite their lips and throw a look at each other. 

"guys," you whine, a smile taking over your lips when you realize they're teasing you for being so eager to know about jay. 

"fine, i was saying i heard a thing from someone where they said," karina says, leaning in. "they said that only jay out of the 02z has never let anyone into his racing car," 

"what type of rumor is that?" wooyoung asks, shaking his head, confused why would that be an issue in the first place. 

"i guess it means, no one has ever been in there so it probably means none of his flings or any romantic relationship he has ever had with anyone is that serious, considering even any of his past exes have even been in his car?" 

"oh," wooyoung replies, leaning backwards. "what about the 02z?" 

"i don't know, maybe they have maybe they haven't either, but i heard that he doesn't let anyone into his car." she says, and you nod, realizing that sunghoon has once mentioned it but you've never been interested in it. 

"y/n, you think you can beat that rumor?" 

"what?" you laugh, "what does that have to do with me?" 

"uhm, everything? sometimes you're just so dense." 

"you're the one that's stupid here?" you scoff, glaring at wooyoung which he glares back at for because you called him stupid. 

"god, do you guys EVER stop fighting?" you look at seeun next to you, and shut up immediately. you're only realizing she's been silent the entire time you guys got here. 

you don't ask her anything though, after her scolding you guys, the two of them went back to teasing you about jay and the night just ended like that which led to you coming back home late, after karina dropped you off. 

when you got back, the house was quite silent except for the small bickering coming from sunghoon's room. you just decided to slip back into your room but just before you could, you stopped when you heated something that irked you up.

"dude, she just texted me that she's back in town," you heard jake say, but you couldn't see anything which you chose to assume that he was showing his phone when they all went silent. 

"oh my god!" you hear sunghoon gasp, and there's a small silence before you hear jake and sunghoon cheer. 

"dude holy shit, it's been awhile, we should all like— gather up and have a reunion or something." jake says. "what about a party after the next race." 

jay groans and disagrees with the rest. 

"are you guys not sick of these parties, the entire summer is gonna be wasted away with just parties, i gotta go visit my parents soon. " he says and you hear shuffling. 

"summer is all about partying and having fun man— are you not excited to see mai again? it's been like a few years." 

"why should i be exited to see her, again?"

mai, it sounds familiar but you don't choose to ponder about it until jake asks jay something.

"dude, why aren't you? your hot first love is finally back in town again and you're not even existed for a possible best fuck again?" 

for some reason, your heart sinks at the question. you know it shouldn't but it does and it makes you feel so— weird. like a disappointed feeling grows in you. 

"she's not my first love, i never even liked her. "

"you dated her, does that not mean anything? and even if she wasn't yours, you were still his. you guys are still the talk of the town!" 

you don't listen to the conversation anymore, having a small feeling in you that if you listened further the weird feeling in you would even get worse.

you're not sure why such a feeling is even hurried in you and why you're so sad about it when the most you've both done is just make out. it can totally mean nothing, and a summer fling is not even that big of a deal. 

so just taking a quick shower and then falling asleep seemed to be a better option than to overthink and hurt your own feelings. 

the next morning was quite tiring since you couldn't really get much sleep the night before. you headed down for breakfast and got back upstairs before you could bump into anyone after remembering the conversation between the boys from the night earlier. 

the rest of the day went by after you proceed to occupy yourself with catching up on jungkook updates than worry about jay and whoever mai was.

and then more days went by and it's been a complete week since you even saw any of them which made the entire conversation thing go forgotten by you. 

so when wooyoung, karina and seeun dragged you to a party where you absolutely didn't know jay and his friends were at, you were stunned to see him in the circle of the room everyone was gathered in to play hide and seek. 

and of course, you just had to get a seat next to him after wooyoung and karina forcefully pushed you to the absolute opposite of where they sat. 

"hey," 

you turn to look at him, a smile already on your lips sure that it's mostly the alcohol in your system that's working. you didn't know what convinced you to get drunk tonight, maybe it was wooyoung's influence or anything but you were glad you're still sober enough to absorb everything that's going on. 

"hey," you reply back and jay smiles at you, moving closer to you. 

"sunghoon is right next to you." he is three seats away. 

"so?" 

you don't reply anything back when the host announces that sunghoon is the seeker along with another girl who seemed to be overjoyed she was going to be the seeker which sunghoon. 

"you will be given approximately two to three minutes to hide before sunghoon and seri starts seeking!" the host announces and everyone gets up from their seats, leaving their cups in the room by their seats. 

you mouth at wooyoung and karina to wait for you but they both turned away, pretending to have not seen that. you couldn't resort to seeun either, she wasn't even in the game, because she said she'd rather just talk to someone else than join the fun.

"and the game starts…… now!" 

you rush out of the room along with everyone, most of them chose to hide downstairs so you chose upstairs would be easier to hide since a few spots would be vacant. 

"why are you following me?" 

you turn around with your arms crossed, looking at a jay who obviously seemed to be following behind you but with his nonchalant look and hands tucked in his leather jacket, it was too obvious. 

"i'm not." 

"you are!" 

"i'm not, y/n." 

"whatever," you shrug off and run off into a room when jay chases after you. when you guess he isn't catching up with you anymore, you run into an empty room which you assume it's someone's bedroom. 

obviously hiding under the bed would be a stupid idea, but when you glanced at the watch on your wrist, you realise the three minutes were about to be over. 

so you took an even more stupid idea, you hid yourself inside the closet but it was hidden in the back of the room, so if the seeker wasn't too stupid, like your brother— then you'd be safe. 

as soon as you shut the door close, the door opens back and someone jumps into the closet next to you, shutting it close. 

"w—" 

"don't yell at me!" you realise it's jay and you calm down, but still mad that he followed you to your hiding spot. now you're both gonna be found.

"why are you here! this is my hiding spot!" you hiss a him, a pout on your lips but it was too dim to be noticed. 

"you don't own this spot! i'm allowed to hide here too!" jay hisses back, frowning at you yelling at him. whisper-yelling more likely. 

"i came here first!" 

"okay and?" 

"fine i'll leave then!" you move to open the door but jay stops you with holding your wrist, catching you for the guard. 

"what are you doing! you'll get caught if you leave now and when you do you'll have to do the punishment, you'll black out y/n!" 

"h—" you stop your sentence midway when you hear a loud yell echo throughout the house. 

"THE SEEKING HAS NOW BEGUN."

you both freeze in your spot and jay moves in closer so when the seeker opens the closet door, he isn't the first thing they find. 

so close that he is practically on top of you. if he looked down, he could see your entire cleavage from the low cut of the top you had on. 

which he did when he accidentally looked down but your head fell against his chest as you were heaving for breath from the running earlier. biting his lips he prays you don't feel the growing hardness between his thighs in the tight space. 

you're not too oblivious either, it's clear to you that you're both hidden in the tight space where you're both practically on top of each other. and when your head falls against his chest, you could feel his abdomen that you try so hard to not make another heartbeat happen that isn't your heart. 

the same situation reminds you of the situation when you and jay ate ramen together, in the kitchen, that night. 

you try to find something to focus on in the darkness that now you can see around in after your eyes adjusted to the darkness, to distract yourself from the fact you're basically inches close to the guy you just made out with a week ago. 

before you could do anything else, the room door bursts open and you hear footsteps around the room which makes you and jay look at each other frightened. 

"god, where the fuck is everyone?" 

fuck, why does it have to be sunghoon?

jay holds you closer to hide further, afraid sunghoon might open the closet door and be welcomed with his best friend and sister hugging like there's no tomorrow if he looked more in. 

"ugh, i'm already wasted enough—" his voice is cut when the door shuts which you both assume that he left the room when his footsteps also faded away.

you've never been more relieved that sunghoon is drunk for once, glad that it didn't occur to him that he should check the closet before he left. 

"you can let go of me, now" you say, but it sounded more like a whisper at how small it came out than you intended to. 

but just as you said that your head fell back and almost hit the closet's wall if it wasn't for jay having his hand behind your head, protecting it than your head hitting it. 

your heart for some reason flutters when you realise he must've had it there for a while now since you didn't feel his arm move when you leaned back. 

"i think it's better if i hold you until the game is over," he says, and you could feel his breath fanning over your neck when he spoke. "it's pretty small here, you could hurt yourself again." 

you bite your lips, holding back a squeal. he probably watches dramas or reads romance novels, where the fuck did he learn to speak like this, gosh!

and luck didn't seem to be on your side when you try to lean back, again but a hanger in the box behind your back pokes you right on your lower back, just right below where jay was holding you at. 

"fuck!" you whine out, unexpectedly loud which catches jay by surprise. 

"shit, did you hurt yourself?" you didn't hear the 'i told you so' tone when he asked you that, instead you sensed he was actually worried from the tone he asked you in. 

"uhm— yeah," you admit, embarrassed that you just had to hurt yourself as soon as jay said that. 

"just stay still," he whispers and his hand goes down to where you got jabbed at. "does it hurt here?" 

your eyes widen when his hand accidentally slides past the slope of your ass but still lands right above it, perfectly on the hurting spot. 

"yeah," you say, nodding slowly and jay just rubs over it, soothing out the pain for you. eventually it leaves sooner than you expected but you don't say anything, you just liked the feeling of jay touching you so you just left that at it. 

a few minutes go by and you're both bored out of your mind, wondering if anyone was ever even found but too scared to leave the tiny spot in case you'd both lose.

the space was already small to begin with so sticking against each other wasn't really helping with the tenparture too. at this rate you were beginning to sweat and it was bothering you.

"ugh, it's so fucking hot in here— im sweating." you whine, softly making sure to not make too much sound as you turn around but jay stops you by clutching you around your waist. 

"don't move." 

"what? why?" 

"just don't move!" he hisses at you, leaving you confused as to why he isn't letting you move. 

"jay, it's hot i'm literally sweating," 

"i know— just, just don't move." he says, holding you in place but you're too stubborn for that. sighing, you move around anyway which makes your back meet his front and you immediately find out why he stopped you from moving. 

you hear jay mutter a string of cuss words under his breath when something hard practically pokes at your lower back, just right next to the spot where you got jabbed earlier. 

"i told you not to move, y/n. you never listen," 

"uhm, sorry i— i didn't know," you say, unsure of how to address the situation. was he seriously hard over the fact you're practically sticking on him, or because of how small the closet is. 

you're not sure, but what's clear is he's definitely hard because of you and boy, were you having a field day because of it. 

deciding to run with it, you purposely throw your head back, onto his shoulder and then shoot a short smirk his way which he's too distracted on his hardness to realise. you were already slightly intoxicated, but if you were to blame what made you act up now it'll definitely do wonders. 

the intoxicating thoughts just made things worse in your case, the lewd thoughts of how your ass was practically in between jay's crotch is beyond you, it honestly felt like you were dreaming. 

you shift slightly which jay immediately holds you back for, "stop moving y/n, please " 

oh, he was willing to beg? that's great!

you move your body backwards even more, urging to push him to his limits. exactly what you needed and wanted from him, is to snap. 

"y/n, stop it." 

"i'm not doing anything!" 

"you know what you're doing, you're not dumb." 

"i don't know what you're talk—" 

he spins you around in a swift, and holds you tightly, that you're unable to move around in. 

"do it one more time, and i won't be able to hold myself back." 

a smirk grows on your lips when you realize you've pushed the right button indeed, he's finally snapped. 

"i'm not asking you to." 

none of you have to say anything anymore for him to pull you in and your both lips colliding onto each other's, moving against each other. jay licked your bottom lip, humming at the taste of your lip balm, cherry, good choice. 

you wrap your arms around his neck as he slides his arm around your waist and another explores your body, shamelessly. you weren't going to lie if you say your panties weren't soaked. 

whatever effect jay had on you seemed to be sickening because of how bad you're down for him. 

he pulls away by surprise, bursting the closet door open and dragging you out by your arm. lips swollen, hair messed up and dazed looks on your faces, he pushes you against the door, making sure to not hurt you. 

trapping you between his hold, jay locks the door in a swift and then turns to focus on you. 

"i said i wouldn't be able to hold myself back," he breathes and if it wasn't for your self control, you would've come there itself from the way he's looking at you while catching his breath. 

"and, i told you i wasn't done with you yet." 

you open your mouth to say something, to finalize it all and pull jay by shirt back into the kiss again, until the door bursts open despite the fact you both thought jay had locked it. 

in a second, jay pushes you behind the door and stands before it when the person who walked in sees him standing there. 

"dude what the fuck, we thought you left!" 

you sigh in relief when you hear jake's voice, thanking the god's it wasn't your brother again. but the annoyed feeling takes over when you realiszd he just fucked up your chance of getting railed by his bestfriend, after all the pent up tension and the movie material scenes— all to waste, just like that!

"oh, uhm— no, i didn't! what? so is the game over?" jay stutters and you smile at the thought of him getting flustered and caught red handed. 

"yeah b— why are you flustered?" 

jay starts to laugh, shaking his head. "nothing dude, just surprised you walked in when i was about to head out." 

you see jay's gaze fall on you and then back to jake, who you couldn't really see from the door blocking your sight. 

"nah, that's too….. fishy— oh my god. wait, don't tell me," jake gasps, and then looks around frantically. your eyes widens and you immediately cover your mouth from any sound escaping as your heart rate picks up. "don't tell me you got someone in here," 

jay immediately pushes him out the door, and laughs in the most awkward way you've ever heard someone laugh in, "you're tripping, let's get outta here. at least we didn't lose hahahaha!" 

shoving his best friend out of the door, jay mouths a 'sorry' at you and then leaves in a second. you scoff at what had just happened, raging the inner demon in you. 

this is the second time you've both got cockblocked, you're starting to wonder when were you both ever going to even get together, but by the looks of it— it's probably never going to happen. 

"fuck," you sigh, shaking your head in dissapointment before walking out. you head down the stairs and spot jay with sunghoon and jake, too engulfed in their conversations to even bother about their surroundings. 

you look around for your friends but no one is nowhere to be found, you're guessing either they are passed out somewhere or already back home, enjoying peace instead of this crowded place smelling like sex in the air and pure alcohol. 

you try to pass by a group of people, sweaty bodies against each other and you try to not scrunch up your face in disgust, but in the midst of that, you accidentally bump past someone, immediately making them knock over their drink. 

"holy shit, oh my god— i'm sorry!" you gasp, immediately crouching down to pick up the cup and bite your lip as you examine the carpeted floor being coated in whatever the drink they had previously in the now emptied cup. 

"wait, no it's my fault, i'm sorry i wasn't watching where i was going!" 

for some reason you recognized the voice all too well, and then you look up and you're completely lost at words. 

what the fuck was lee heeseung doing here?

your mouth falls open and so does his. 

"o-oh my god, Y/N?" he chuckles, furrowing his eyebrows as he points his finger at you in confusion. 

"heeseung? what are you doing here?" you ask, still staring at him in shock. no, but you were actually stunned because what's he doing here instead of being at NYU with his girlfriend? 

"that's an interesting way to ask how have you been? thanks for asking, i'm great!" he laughs, shaking his head slightly. 

"oh uh— my bad!" you grimace, and immediately apologizing at your rude manners. the alcohol in your system isn't doing wonders anymore, not much justice either. 

heeseung chuckles at your mistake, giving you a bright smile that complimented his perfect 32's, the braces he had back then showing the results so greatly. 

"oh my, where are my manners? here," heeseung says, realizing you're both still on the ground before he puts out his hand for you and you gladly take it as you both get up. 

"i'm so sorry— for the drink. i wasn't seeing where i was going, a little tipsy too, so it was completely my fault." you blabber which heeseung finds cute for his liking. 

"no y/n, don't dwell on it. it's my fault as well for being too careless, so don't sweat it!" 

you smile at him, and then the both of you laugh at the silence being too awkward all of a sudden. 

"you should get a refill, if you'd like?" you say, pointing at the cup he's now holding, and then to the kitchen behind your back. 

"yeah, sure!" 

the two of you walk over to the kitchen and you help heeseung with his drink as an apology for spilling it which he reassures you is really fine. 

"so, you're back in town for the semester as well?" you ask heeseung, watching him gulp down the first sip and then he gives you a short smile before answering. 

"actually, i just graduated." 

"oh my god, really? that's great news, congrats!" 

"thanks, y/n." he says, smiling at you sheepishly. "i'll be starting my first residency in about a month at a university hospital back in New York." 

"oh i see, that's really great." you say, nodding. 

"and what about your girlfriend? i haven't gotten a marriage invitation from you guys, still waiting for it!" you laugh jokingly but heeseung deadpans in your face making you stop almost in a heartbeat. 

"we're not seeing each other anymore." 

your silence happens to be too deafening so heeseung chuckles in order to break it. he puts his hand over yours, rubbing his thumb on your hand to assure you not to worry about it. 

"it's fine, we never really saw it coming as well, so it's pretty much a shock to everyone who found out…." 

you just nod, chuckling awkwardly like jay did earlier. "i'm sorry for.." you trail off not knowing to show your condolences. 

it wasn't like she or heeseung lost feelings for him or something, both of them would be fucking crazy to do that. 

"it's fine. things fell out between us, i think she lost feelings along the w—" 

your loud gasp cuts heeseung halfway, leaving him hanging staring at you in shock. your eyes widens when you realize you gasped out loudly, which you gasp at once again. 

"oh my god— fuck," you sigh, apologizing profusely at heeseung. you were _really_ embarrassing yourself at this point, you didn't know how worse it was going to get after this. 

"i'm guessing you're really….. shocked huh?" heeseung laughs and you shake your head in embarrassment. 

how would you have known that your guess would've been true. so, heeseung's ex is indeed fucking crazy. 

"how can she? i mean, you're everyone's dream guy so how did she even…" you ask, feeling sorry for heeseung who's before you. 

you're right however, heeseung had always been everyone's dream guy. an old friend of yours and your brother's, an ex senior from your school as well. 

it's no surprise that everyone loved him, the same type of love that everyone loves your brother like, but more. heeseung was and has always been the blueprint, everyone's it boy. 

he lacks almost nothing, gorgeous looks, a smart brain that got him into NYU with a scholarship, he's loaded enough to afford a Porsche each month, and all other stuff that everyone admires him so much for. 

you did admire him at one point too, maybe even had a teeny tiny crush on him for the time he danced with you at a birthday party when your supposed partner was supposed to but he was too busy smashing his face in another girl's face.

he stepped up to you and told you he'd dance with you, with the dreamiest smile on his face and the most charming persona enough to have hooked under his spell. 

until she came into the picture and they hit off like a perfect match. the high school sweethearts that moved to college together and everyone was expecting them to get married. 

"it happens, when you're too used to someone you eventually get tired of them, no matter how much you love them— it gets boring and it doesn't give you the very same spark it does when it's fresh and brand new."

"but then again, i don't think i can ever move on from something that was never supposed to end."  

(a/n : YESSSS AFTERGLOW HEESEUNG CAMEO!!!!!)

his voice sounds dull, you feel sorry for him. the sigh he lets out is filled with so much agony and heartbreak you're guessing he's not over it. who would be, decades worth of love and time all wasted over his past lover losing feelings for him, such a loss. 

"heeseung… i'm sorry for that, really. you deserve so much better than that." you say, this time you rub your finger over his hand, comforting him. 

"she had always been the better, but i guess— for her to lose feelings, i was probably never the better for her." 

you sigh at his misery, just hoping he doesn't feel too down for the rest of the night. 

"it's in the past, things will get better for you heeseung, it's not the end of the world. you're still young, there's still more beautiful things waiting to bloom for you!" 

heeseung chuckles slightly, smiling at you as he looks up at you with the same dreamy eyes he gave you the first time he had you hooked. 

"you're so wise. it's lovely." he smiles. "i almost forgot, you look great tonight! it's really been awhile, you've gotten more beautiful over the years." 

you giggle, shaking your head. "thank you heeseung, the same goes for you too!" 

heeseung himself had definitely gotten more handsome over the years, the only downside is medical school must've played a big role in the eye bags under his eyes but it's really not too noticeable.

"oh, _i_ almost forgot, does sunghoon know you're back?" 

"how can he not? he was so overjoyed to see me back, i missed him more than i thought," heeseung says, and then looking over past the crowd to the 02z, they're still not moved, still talking but the only difference is jay is seated in the middle staring right back at the two of you with daggers. 

you're caught by surprise, but you don't say anything, enjoying the building tension once again. 

"and met the boys again too, they've grown up alot than the last time, i saw them." heeseung says and his words just turn into another one of the background noises when your gaze stays put on jay's. 

he must've been watching it all this while then. 

"i should leave now, it's getting quite late. got a few plans tomorrow," 

you turn to face heeseung again when he gets up, and your hold in his doesn't depart as you get up from your seat as well. 

"i see," you say, smiling at him back. "if you're free anytime over the summer, i'm one call away. i still use the old number. 

"sure, im one call away too, if you wanna hang anytime." he says, and then pulls you in for a goodbye hug. you take this chance to look over his shoulder, at jay but it surprises you when you see jay walking over with the most annoyed look. 

you must've pushed the right button then. 

"oh yes, i'm driving home, do you need a ride, i can dr—" 

"heeseung hyung," 

you both look over to the younger male joining the conversation. jay gives heeseung a smile when heeseung gives him a joyful one. 

"jay, what's up?" 

"nothing much, sunghoon just wanted you over, real quick too! i'm afraid you need to cut the conversation with y/n short," he says, then swiftly glancing between your hands and then back at heeseung's face. 

"i see," heeseung says and turns back to you. "sorry y/n, i'll drive you home, another time, alright?" he says, and then leans in closer to you, catching you by surprise. 

"see you around, yeah?" he says and then places a small kiss right on the corner of your lips, completely catching you by surprise and only intriguing a wave of jealousy. 

winking at you he leaves but you don't have any time to wave back at him before jay takes you by your wrist and leads you into the back of the kitchen, to the hidden corner, where no one can see the two of you.

"what are you doing, jay?" you ask when he lets go of your hand. "is everything okay?" 

"don't is everything okay me, y/n," he sighs, shaking his head as he looks down at you before he leans down to your level like heeseung had done before. "you got my attention, don't you think you have to deal with the consequences now?" 

your lips full apart to answer him but instead jay takes this as a chance to continue what had been discontinued earlier, this time hoping no one would cockblock the two of you, again. 

"drive me home tonight." you say, eyelashes fluttering as you look up at him, pulling away to catch your breath. 

"i can do more than just drive you home tonight, y/n." 

and so he did, proved you right. you didn't have a thing to complain about by the end of the night. when you tiptoed back to your room after jay had driven you back home in sunghoon car, after leaving the boys back, you were absolutely tired out and dazed.

and sore, and tired. laying down on your bed, you pulled the duvet over yourself, too tired to hop in the shower and shower. 

afraid his scent on your skin from the previous hours would go missing. his cologne, the taste of his lips, the ghost of his touches on your skin, all the memories come flashing back into your mind as you fall into dreamland with the biggest smile plastered on your face. 

when you woke in the morning you had immediately rushed to shower and the night before memory came rushing back as the water trickled down your body. 

you walked out of the shower, wrapped in your towel ready to lotion your skin until you saw yourself in the mirror, eyes widened. 

"holy shit," 

you trail your fingers over the marks in between the valley of your chest and all the way up to the collarbone, gasping at how sick it looked. 

you didn't know whether to be scared that if anyone saw your entire collarbone area covered in hickeys is terrifying or the fact these marks were lowkey hot. 

and then you remembered what jay had said the night before. 

"don't leave too obvious marks," 

he shifts in his place before smiling and then pulling you into a kiss again, then onto your neck, nibbling on the skin, making a hickey. 

"sure," and then he pulls you into another kiss, this time purposely missing your lips and kissing the spot heeseung had kissed you at just before, a few hours prior to this. 

when he pulls away there's a small red mark on the spot both of them had kissed at. 

"my mark as my girl," he says, chuckling and you swear your heart truly skipped a beat, making you feel all the things you should've felt with heeseung earlier. "i've told you before, i don't like people having what's mine already."

you bite your bottom lip before your lips grow upwards into a smile, and you try to not blush at the memory. 

"gosh, what the hell.." you sigh, shaking your head. you're pretty sure a hookup shouldn't have you giggling this way, but for some reason it did and it doesn't feel wrong at all. 

you then examine the marks, sighing at how obvious it looked. you're just hoping enough foundation and concealer can fix it. 

a few minutes later, after a lot of effort into hiding the hickeys, you then look into the mirror, hoping it's hidden pretty well. it was, but if anyone were to look closer into it, you can tell something's hidden behind the makeup. 

giving up, you just resorted into getting dressed and just heading downstairs for a late breakfast considering how your stomach hasn't stopped grumbling. 

"morning," 

you see jake by the stairs, putting on his jacket in the hot weather and you wave back at him.

"it's 1 in the afternoon, are you heading out somewhere?" 

jake smirks at you, "i know, it's called sarcasm baby," you roll your eyes at the pet name, looking away. "and yes, you wanna come along?" 

"where are you going? where's the rest by the way?" 

"heading over to the tracks for rehearsal, there's a race tonight." jake replies, following right behind you, hot on your trail. "the rest are already there." 

"oh," you nod, and then take the cereal box but jake stops you. 

"what?" 

"let's go," 

"go where?" 

"to the tracks," 

"no? i'm lazy."

"and?" 

you scoff at him, slapping his hand away from your arm. "it's scorching hot jake, i'm too lazy for that." 

"not even a free McDonalds can convince you?" 

you pause, and that gets a reaction out of jake. he immediately smiles when he realises he might have gotten you in his grip, "what do you say?" 

"only if we can get the combo sets." 

"SETS?" he gasps, and then wonders how much he has left in his wallet. 

"take it or leave it, jakey." 

jake ponders on it for a few seconds before signing, and giving in. "okay fine," he whines, and then points at you. "let's go." 

you excused yourself to change into a more appropriate outfit rather than showing up in an oversized shirt and shorts, which doesn't seem right for the venue at all. 

after you changed, you and jake drove off to the nearest McDonald's and after a lot of fighting, jake indeed got you combo sets and within minutes finished it all, leaving jake absolutely stunned.

"i know you didn't just finish ALL of that," he says, glaring at you as he reverses into the parking lot. 

"and i didn't even have any of the fries!" 

"you didn't even ask for any, that's not my fault," you say, laughing as jake parks the car and finally turn to you. 

"i did, you're just saying things now!" 

"uhm if so I didn't hear anything so," you say, shrugging and then jake leans into you and then smirks..

you start to panic, is he going to kiss you? you really seemed to be very kissing material these days, there's just a never ending list of guys leaning in to kiss you.

"i'll make you hear it then," 

you smile, feeling the rushing feeling going up through your chest and then up your throat. before jake could lean in any closer, you burp so loud in his face making him fall back into his seat in absolute horror. 

"oh god— uh i did not MEAN FOR THAT TO HAPPEN…." you gasp, feeling sorry for him all of sudden. 

"i— i, i think i saw god for a second…….. y/n.." he trails off, and closes his eyes, trying to not pass out from the shock. 

fast forward a few minutes later jake finally recovers from the trauma, you think so. you try to not laugh in his face even more while jake glares at you for pulling that shit on him earlier as you two make your way into the arena. 

as soon as you enter you spot sunghoon immediately and he's shocked to see you there as well. 

"are you really y/n? what are you doing here?" he asks, placing his hand to his heart, looking at you in awe. 

"shut up," you whine, rolling your eyes at your brother. 

"no for real, what has you coming here for?" 

"jake bribed me with McDonalds," you say, and then pointing to Jake who's glaring at you with a scoff. 

"yeah i wish i didn't, she almost killed me with that deadly ass burp— fuck i'm gonna throw up," he slaps his hand against his mouth and wanders off into somewhere, trying to not embarrass himself and throw up in the middle of the arena. 

"did you seriously do that to him, that's fucking nasty," sunghoon gasps, scrunching his face up in disgust at your actions, and gasping again when you laugh to confirm his guesses. 

you don't tell him jake tried to kiss you though, only dismissing it because jake would have a black eye when sunghoon finds out. you figured that would work as an apology for burping in his face.

your chat with sunghoon is interrupted when jay walks up to the two of you, taking of his helmet and wiping off the sweat on his forehead, then swiping his hair back as he looks at sunghoon. 

"you're up next." 

sunghoon nods and then pats your head. 

"i gotta go, see you later." 

you nod, giving him a thumbs up, "goodluck." 

you watch as sunghoon disappears into the group of people and then you realise how passionate he looked like, about racing. 

"i didn't know you would come down here," jay says as he looks down at you. 

"i don't," you say, smiling at him. "jake bribed me with McDonalds so, that speaks for itself," you laugh and try to not wheeze at burping in jake's face for him trying to kiss you. 

but then again, you don't mention it either. 

"it's gone?" 

"what's gone?" 

jay traces his hand on your collarbone, and then nods when he sees it's hidden by your concealer. you glare at him, immediately remembering the trouble you had to go through to hide the hickeys. 

"i told you to not make it too obvious jay," 

"yeah, you only said to not make it too obvious?" he says, chuckling. "you never said i couldn't make any at all," 

"it's the same thing." you scoff, squirting your eyes at him. "it's not baby," 

you bite the insides of your cheek, trying to not blush at the pet name except when jake used it on you earlier, it didn't give you the same effects as now. 

jay seems to find that you do like being called baby so he takes notes and then smiles at how cute you were.

"shut up," 

"i don't think you were saying that last night when i was—" 

"JAY!" you gasp, shutting him up with your hand over his mouth, staring at him wide eyed. he tears your hand away, laughing. 

"what? are you embarrassed now?" 

"no— i just— why are you saying this stuff in public!" 

"you didn't have a problem with screaming my name in public yesterday though," 

"jay shut up, oh my god," you whine, cheeks turning red, flustered only making jay chuckle. 

"the only one who'll be shutting up is you," he says, slipping his hand right underneath your waist, catching you by surprise. "right?" 

he's right, that immediately shuts you up and also the pulsing between your legs returns in broad daylight. it's immaculate how down bad you were for him.

"am i interrupting something?" 

you turn to your right to see heeseung in his racing attire as well, surprising you immediately when you push jay away. 

"yeah, we were in the middle of something, hyung." 

you widen your eyes staring at jay and then back at heeseung. 

"oh, i see, if so then—" 

"what? no ,he's just kidding!" you laugh awkwardly, waving your hands at him. "he's gonna go back to the tracks, right jay hahahaha!" you say, and then raise your eyebrows only to get a glare from him. 

"oh uhm.." heeseung trails off, rubbing the back of his neck, smiling at you and jay awkwardly. "i didn't expect to see you here, just wanted to say hi!" 

"i could say the same for you as well, you're back into racing again?" you ask, confused to see him here as well, in his racing attire too. 

"uh, yeah, in the meantime while waiting for the residency to start, you know." 

"oh i see," you nod, giggling at heeseung. 

"anyway, i'm free later in the evening, do you want to go out for dinner, if you're free—" 

"oh sur—" 

"no she's not." jay speaks up, crossing his arms against his chest, surprising the two of you. 

"uh excuse me?" you ask jay, widening your eyes at him signalling what the hell he's doing. 

you look back at heeseung, laughing again to clear out the awkward tension between them. "he's just joking! gosh, jay you're such a jokester today hahahahahahahah!" 

the two of them just stare at each other with you in the middle, not a word being exchanged. 

"uh— yeah, hee i'm free later, just text me for the details." 

hee? jay stares at you in disbelief at the nickname, for a reason it infuriates him. 

"that's great then. see you around, y/n?" he says, giving you a shy smile which you return back with a bigger smile at before he leaves. 

when heeseung leaves, there's smoke coming out of jay's nostrils so when you turn back to look at him you're stunned. 

"hee," jay mutters under his breath in a mocking way, making you chuckle at his jealousy. 

"what? is there something wrong with that?" you ask, looking up at the fuelled jay park.

"i didn't say anything," 

"do you want a nickname too?" you ask, smiling at him, sulking. "jay? jey? jayjay?" 

"you can make as many as you want," he says, glancing over at you with a smirk before he leans down to your level, to face your eye to eye. 

"nothing turns me on as much as the way you say my name though."

IN DILEMMA as you stare at yourself in the mirror. you place down the gloss, and sigh loudly. you're not sure why the guilt is building up in you when you're not supposed to be feeling guilty at all. 

it's not a crime to go out for just a dinner with an old friend (cut out crush), it's simply just a reunion over a small dinner, nothing extravagant like a date. 

but you're not sure why the one on your mind is jay, the boy you've been hooked on for weeks now, the one who's lips taste is still lingering on yours despite the cherry lip gloss coated on it. when all you're supposed to be thinking about is the man you're going to be out with in a few minutes, lee heeseung. 

"y/n!" you slap yourself, staring into the mirror. "get it together for god's sake," you sigh, slapping your cheeks again. 

you can do it, it's no big deal. just ignore the guilt in you and go on a date with heeseung, it's all fine, _no big deal_!

you get a text from heeseung that he's outside, making you get up and frantically rush around the room to get your clutch, and a few other things. after rushing to spray on your perfume, you head out to find heeseung waiting for you by the porch. 

"oh, wow." 

heeseung smiles at you, as he compliments your looks for the night. "you look simply gorgeous tonight, y/n." 

you smile back at him, thanking him as you compliment him back on the navy blue but black tux he has on, perfectly suiting him in every inch. 

"you look amazing too, heeseung." 

"shall we?" he asks, and takes your hand in his, leading to his Mercedes, and closing the door after you get into the passenger seat. 

heeseung joins you in the driver's seat and the rest of the drive is accompanied by a small talk between you two, until you guys reach the restaurant. 

and you have to say, lee heeseung went all out on this. you're wondering how his ex could have ever gotten tired of this, quite materialistic of you. 

"the food here is great, i hope you love the cuisines," heeseung says as he helps you out of the car and then locks it before walking into the restaurant with you. 

"good evening, mr.lee. great to see you again!" the waitress at the front greets heeseung and then gives you a brief smile before attending to him. 

"i have a reservation under my name," 

"yes sir, let's get you checked in." she says and then leads you and heeseung inside of the restaurant and all you could say about the place was it screamed rich, rich, rich. 

not your usual cup of tea, but enjoying a good dinner like this once in awhile is a good thing you suppose. 

"alright, here's your seat, i'll be right back to attend to you with your menus." she says as she stops the two of you inside a private room, you're guessing it must be a VIP spot considering how glamorous the spacious room looked for only a table for two. 

"thank you," he thanks the waitress and then walks over to you when she leaves. he pulls out the chair for you, helping you into your seat before he gets in for himself. 

you look around the room, awkwardly not knowing what to say until heeseung speaks up. 

"so, uh, you're with jay?" 

you're not sure how to answer the question, you're not sure yourself what the two of you even were. 

you hooked up, one time. three failed hookup times, but every kiss was amazing, you couldn't ask for better. you don't know if you like him, you know he doesn't like you that's for sure, in a romantical way. 

sure he makes you feel all the type of way every girl would feel from someone she likes but, do you like him, romantically?

you're guessing he's not more than just a summer fling, right?

but how were you supposed to explain it to heeseung? much to your dismay, fortunately you don't have to because the waitress walks in with the menus as she promised.

"here are your menus," she says and you both order your meals but yours is just recommend by both heeseung and the waitress, a few more words are exchanged between each other until the waitress leaves and you're back to square one again with heeseung.

"i'm guessing it's a yes, then?"

you look up to look at him, and you blink, unsure of what to say. 

"i hope you don't mind me asking….. i just—"

"are you hitting on me, heeseung?" 

you know you may or may have not fucked up by the way heeseung almost choked on his water as he stares at you wide eyed. your reaction has him chuckling in no time, realising that you're actually being serious. 

"is that what it looks like?" 

"it's the only logical explanation i can think of," you say, shrugging slightly. 

"well, to answer you question." he pauses, laughing. "no, i'm not hitting on you." 

you're confused now, so why was he acting like he was trying to hit on you? "i was just testing the waters." 

"mind elaborating?" you urge, staring at him blankly. heeseung smiles at you, leaning back in his seat. 

"i was trying to see if jay has finally got you," 

"what?" 

heeseung just smiles at you again, sighing when he sees that you're clueless, so clearly jay hasn't made his move yet. "that, i don't think it's my place to tell you." 

you whine, sulking at heeseung. 

"how can you just say stuff and then leave me hanging by the thread like that! heeseung!" 

the older boy just chuckles, taking a sip from his glass seconds later. "you'll see, soon. "

"but, you know, jay's a great guy," heeseung continues, speaking for his brother who isn't blood related to him. "despite the whole reputation he has tainted on him, he's a gem." 

you nod, listening to heeseung, completely immersed in the topic as it's about jay.

"jay's a great guy, i give you my word for that. he's amazing, honestly— i can't stress it enough, i'm exaggerating because he's my homie or anything but, anyone would be lucky to have jay in their life." heeseung says, giving you a warm smile at it, as if he knows there's something going on between you and jay. 

"you're no stranger to him right y/n? so you know how his childhood has always been," heeseung says and you agree.

you really are no stranger to jay, you've known him ever since sunghoon barged through the house with jake, jay and heeseung behind him, excitedly cheering that he's a grown up boy and has friends now! especially one that is older than the rest of them. 

you remember him spending most of his time at your place rather than his own, for reasons of course. jay never really had a great relationship with his family, sure his parents were in his life, still living under a roof together. 

but does all of that even matter when there's not a single ounce of love or affection? all that has ever been for jay is his parent's main priority being too engulfed into their business world that caring for their one and only heir has never been on their radar. 

but you know, that the love he never found with his biological parents, he found it in your home. with sunghoon, jay has always been treated like his very own brother— it's as if you were sister too but considering neither of you ever saw each other like that, that's another story. 

sunghoon has never let jay feel left out, always sharing with him everything he's ever had, even if not with, he's always shared with jay everything. from his toys to his dreams. everything.

your parents are no exception too, always welcoming him into their warm arms like jay is their own son. treating him exactly like you and sunghoon were always treated, with so much of love and affection. a family love, a type of love every human out there yearns for. 

they had always included him in family vacations, family activities, every breakfast, lunch, dinner, hangout— everything, jay was always invited. your home was basically his very own home too at this point.

however although you're aware you family has treated him him like their very own son, the lingering feeling will always be in jay : where his own family doesn't even care this much for him when another family, who isn't even his own blood does. 

so when that happens, it plays a major part in his growing up phase, but jay had always best the stereotype. that kids from broken families always fucks up, and has a ruined reputation. 

no, jay had always been an elite student in school. active for almost all of his curricular, a teacher's pet, star student— and is even loved by the students! popular kid, prom king, another it boy, the list goes on and on. 

though neither of that compares to the love and affection he's never had, the one he yearns for, you hope at least he's happy and lives a good life. 

"deep in thoughts?" 

"oh," you chuckle, shaking your head as you break out from the immense train of thoughts. "yeah— thinking about what you said, it's true." 

"right? considering things have always been like for him, i hope at least. the love he never got from his own family, he gets it from someone he loves." heeseung says, continuing from earlier. 

"and someone he loves i don't mean it by you know, sunghoon and the boys, partying, fucking around— i mean if that gives him happiness then so it be, but," he pauses. "by someone he loves, i mean like his romantic life. i hope that goes well for him especially, he's the type that never forgets his day 1 girl for a 1 day girl." 

you ponder on what heeseung said, letting it sink in. most men leave their day 1 girl for a 1 day girl, and jay not being them, just makes your heart a small flip. 

although you are aware that you don't like him romantically, the thought of being his girl, somehow makes you feel so giddy and on cloud nine. 

"i agree, i hope the same for him too." you say, nodding, and just agreeing with heeseung so he doesn't suspect anything wrong. 

heeseung just laughs, and then shakes his head. 

"i don't think we're supposed to talk about others when we're having dinner together," heeseung says, making you look at him. "but, guilt killing me so much that i can't stop thinking about her while i'm here with you." 

you're not sure how to react to that, not that you liked heeseung romantically to feel offended by that statement, but— his heart still belongs to his past lover at the end of the day, even while being on a dinner with another girl amuses you. 

you wonder, when is it your turn for your heart to belong to someone like that and that even if you have the most wanted, charming guy in the room wrapped around your fingers, nothing would compare to the one that has your heart. 

sighing, you lean back in your seat. 

"it's fine, i'm here for the free meal anyway!' 

and dinner passed in a blink of an eye, after heeseung and your conversation about jay, the two of you had just drifted onto another topic and enjoyed the talk over the overpriced food. 

that didn't even taste as good as the diner by your place where you hang out with your friends at. 

heeseung opens the door for you and leads you out of the restaurant, as soon as you do, the chilly breeze hits your skin, making you shiver almost immediately. 

"oh, here," he says, taking off his jacket and putting it over you. you're stunned but you thank him nevertheless, realizing that if you had just gone on with the dress you have on, you'd just freeze to death, although it's in the middle of the summer. 

"thank you, hee." 

the drive back to your place was filled with a comfortable silence, heeseung changing the radio stations when it got boring, and you just leaning against the window of his car, staring into the outer view while your mind's completely occupied. 

by the boy you couldn't stop thinking about ever since the start of summer. 

when heeseung pulled into your driveway, he got out ahead of you to open the door for you. thanking him again, you bid him goodbyes and give him a goodbye hug then make your way up to your porch. 

just as heeseung drives off and you reach for your purse a loud thud in the darkness scares the absolute shit out of you. 

"FUCK!" you gasp, for a moment your soul leaving your body when you see a tall figure get up from the porch and walk towards you. 

under the dim light of the streetlight, you calm down when you're able to make out the figure, realizing it's just jay. 

"what are you doing here?" you ask and he just stared at you with a sulky, annoyed expression. 

"jay, h— have you been here since afternoon?" you gasp, taking in his outfit. it's the exact same as the one from earlier in the noon, except he has a leather jacket over him now. 

"what, no." he says, and rubs the back of his neck. you fight back the urge to smile when you realize it's a habit he has when he's not being honest, often when’s lying. 

"are you sure?" you ask again and jay just looks away, slightly scoffing which doesn't go unheard by you. it makes a small smirk grow on your lips almost immediately. 

he wasn't waiting for you… right? 

"uh stop asking me questions! h— how was your so-called date with heeseung?" jay asks, turning around almost immediately, looking at you with an unexplainable look plastered on his face. 

"it went well, i guess, why?" 

"nothing, you just seem to— like it so much," he says, and rolls his eyes. "smiling ear to ear and shit," he mutters under his breath as he looks down at his shoes, next to you. 

you chuckle, biting your lip to hold back a louder laugh as soon as jay turns to you to give you a glare for laughing at him. that's when he realizes what you have over your body, a coat he's never seen you own.

and then it strikes him, it's heeseung's! 

"huh? jay, what are you doing!" you gasp when jay pulls the coat off you, catching you by surprise. he doesn't say anything when he tosses heeseung's coat onto the bench and takes off his leather jacket, then puts it over you. 

"you'll be a lot warmer now," he says and then avoids eye contact when you smile up at him. "what does he think he's in, a kdrama?" jay scoffs when he looks over at the coat on the bench and you roll your eyes at his pettiness. 

"thank you so much jay, i would've frozen to death if i didn't wear yours instead of wearing heeseung's!" you say, exaggerating the way you say it as well, mocking the sulky jay park.

"yeah, you should be grateful i saved you," he says, huffing dramatically. "your prince charming is here, not the guy that took you out for like a expensive dinner once— even i can do that!" 

you laugh at him, pushing his shoulder. 

"yeah? then why don't you do that, jay? who knows, maybe i'll give you a chance too." 

jay just shrugs at you, acting cool and unbothered when you laugh at him.  

"whatever, just go in. you're gonna get sick." he says, and points over at the blowing wind, signaling there might be rain tonight. 

before you could say anything else, jay just opens the door for you and pushes you in, before he gives you a brief wave and starts to walk away. 

"jay!" you call out, and drop your purse on the ground before you walk after him. jay turns around in a heartbeat and your lips collide onto his lips, leaving a small peck that makes his cheeks flustered. 

"y/n?" he asks, when you pull away immediately after the small peck. 

you walk back to the door, and then lean against the doorframe, before closing it shut. 

"i'll be waiting for the dinner invitation, mr.prince charming!" 

you give him a quick wave and shut the door, leaving the boy with his heart doing flips and mind going crazy. god, you're the death of him. 

"HAS IT ALREADY BEEN THAT LONG?" 

you and wooyoung gasp at karina who seemed to be occupied with her college hunt on her laptop. summer is ending soon, and you've barely got your shit together. all that's ever been going on is partying, getting wasted, fucking around with your loverboy endlessly and nothing else. 

though wooyoung just sighed it off saying he'd worry about it later and you both should go back to playing mario cart, you couldn't help but ignore the worry in you. 

it hasn't hit you yet that high school is finally over and that you'll be graduating less in a month! 

and then college comes, the young adult phase where all you can think about is assignments and deadlines, no more fun. what makes you want to tear up is the fact that the four of you, wooyoung, karina, seeun and you won't be together anymore. 

"can't believe you're like this," seeun sighs, and she lays on your bed, scrolling on your phone. 

"that's rich coming from you— scrolling on tiktok isn't going to help you apply for college either, seeun." wooyoung retorts, rolling his eyes at her. 

they're back at it again. 

you tell wooyoung to continue with the game as you rush out of your room to get your laptop and sit down with karina, getting down to work which you ignore wooyoung's pleas for not being brainwashed by her.

"huh, where are you going?"

you stop in your tracks when you see your brother rush out of his room, dressed up with his keys jingling in his hand. 

"oh, a few of my old friends are back in town, gonna fetch them." he says and you nod, getting an unsettling feeling about it. "and heads up, since mom and dad are gone for the weekend, they'll be residing here for two days."

you open your mouth to not agree with him but sunghoon cuts you off. 

"yeah and before you go on and off about it, i'll make sure we don't disturb you, geez!" 

yeah that's a lie.

with that, the older boy just rushes off with a brief bye to you, and you're just standing in the corridor, sighing loudly. 

you head into your room and just pick up your laptop as that's what you came originally for until you're stopped by a thought crossing your mind.

were the friends he was talking about are the people he, jay and jake were having a conversation about, a few nights ago. 

you hoped it wasn't, because the mention of the girl sunghoon couldn't stop associating jay with was already make you feel nauseous, and seeing her— you don't think you could do it. 

despite the obvious fact that you both are merely just fuck buddies and besides the fact you've both never addressed the relationship between each other, so that's what you've opted to.

just fuck buddies with no feelings attached. 

but you're getting a feeling that isn't going to stay forever like that. 

a knock on your door is heard and you turn around to see seeun peeking from the door slightly ajar. 

"you were taking so long, wooyoung said you might have passed out and some shit so i came to check," she says and you let out a small laugh. 

inviting her in, you both sat in your bed and you sigh loudly at the heavy feeling in your chest again. you hated when this happened, you don't even like jay romantically so you don't know why you're always so down the moment you hear him being with someone else. 

"is everything okay, you look sad?" 

you sigh even more, and then just decide to tell seeun about it. 

"i don't think i ever told you about it but, i've been into….. with jay for a while now." you admit and seeun just nods, the atmosphere suddenly getting heavier. 

"yeah, i figured— i hear those two talking about it sometimes and i see, " she points at your skin, which is slightly tainted with the older hickeys that you told jay again and again to not make it so obvious. "that," 

"oh, uh," you bite your lips, unsure of how to respond to her statement. you're not sure why she has a gloomy expression on her face when she mentions the hickeys and jay. 

"y/n, you know it's still not too late right?" 

"for?" 

"to stop yourself from getting involved in his mess," she says, frowning. "he's not good news, y/n." 

"seeun, he's really not that bad— trust me," you emphasize with her, defending jay as she nitpicks about him. 

"y/n you just don't see it right? he's not good for you, i'm telling you because i don't want you to get hurt by him!" she whines frustratedly when you're still defending the boy she loathes. 

"what do you know about him, seeun— this habit of yours, talking shit about just anyone has to go." you argue, sighing experatedly when she gets up from the bed and stands before you. 

"okay, so what do you know about him then, y/n? what do you know so much about the boy that just wants to fuck and leave you in the end, that you're defending him so much like this?" 

you're shocked, you don't know why is seeun so heated up about this argument that she's saying shit at this point. 

"what the fuck? are you serious right now?" you scoff, placing your laptop aside as you stare at her with a glare. 

"what did you expect then? i'm telling you that i know his fucking tactics so bad— i'm saving you from the hurt y/n! why can't you just listen when i'm telling you what's good for you?" 

"who are you to tell me what's good and what's bad for me, seeun?" you ask, genuinely confused where she's coming from. you know about jay's reputation, and if anything you've only learned more about him over the weeks. you know he's famous for fucking and leaving but you're the one who wanted this so you have to experience the consequences. 

"fuck, why are you like this, oh my god!" she grunts, gripping onto her hair as she stares at you in disbelief. "he isn't worth this argument, y/n." 

"why are you deciding that seeun— i don't even know why are you so fucking pissed about this, it's ridiculous," you pause. "do you like him, is that it?" 

seeun sighs, deciding that this is the only time she could bring it up, picking to go big or go home. 

"how dense can you be?" she asks, and you snap at her, with an annoyed expression painted on your face.

"being dense is your speciality seeun, because there's literally no any other logical explanation as to why you're so fucking against me liking j—" 

"GOD Y/N FOR FUCKS SAKE— I LIKE YOU!" and as soon as she said that the door bursts open and karina and wooyoung are staring at the two of you in shock. 

you open your mouth and close it back, completely stunned that you were expecting something but seeun confessing that she likes you definitely wasn't what you expected. 

"fuck jay, i don't like him— the one i like is you, and— you're so oblivious to that….." she trails off, tears streaming down her face at this point. you felt guilty all of a sudden at the sight of her crying, but when you reach for her she backs away. 

"i— i'll get going." she says and storms off past you and through karina and wooyoung. when seeun leaves, wooyoung rushes after her to comfort her as karina walks over to comfort you. 

"i didn't even know…." you trail off, falling back onto your bed with a slump, sighing. karina assures you that it isn't your fault, that neither of you guys ever expected that. 

"y/n, don't blame it on yourself— it's not your fault, none of us expected this. if anything we just thought the same as you," she pauses. "that she liked jay… or jake."

you sigh, shaking your head in confusion. you had no idea as to why everyone seemed to be putting you into a tight spot right now, everything pulled up on you. 

"y/n….. don't worry, you can talk it out with her soon.. when she calms down." she paused. "or at least when you both have everything figured out, she basically just confessed to you." 

then she looks at you when your gaze falls onto karina. 

"you have to give her an answer." 

UPON HEARING jake's departure back to gongjin for the rest of summer, you already knew your brother was going to throw a goodbye party. 

he just needed a reason to party. 

and you weren't in the mood for it, not after how things has been going downhill for you after seeun's confession. 

you hadn't seen her in awhile, after the whole fiasco and neither did you make any moves to give her an answer. 

you knew you didn't like her, in a romantic way. seeun has always been nothing more than just a great friend, so when she confessed you just realised and saw the bigger picture later on. 

how she always stuck to you, how she always wanted to hang out just by yourselves, just the two of you, how she knew everything about you from what you liked to what you had an ick for— even the things that karina or wooyoung couldn't care less to bother about. 

and the most obvious clue that gave it all away was how she always reacted when jay's name got brought up in the conversation. how she had always fell silent when the conversation was about the boy you're currently in daze with, and how she'd be annoyed and not interested whenever you spoke about him. 

and how she was totally against the idea of you having jay as your summer fling. 

you wouldn't have guessed a thing even back then, you'd just think she preferred to hang out with you better as she probably would have felt more comfortable than having you hanging out with a guy who has the golden title for fuck and leave. 

so even now, your feelings and how you view seeun hasn't changed a bit. you still love her very much as a friend.

it's clear as day that you don't have feelings for her, at all. what you're not sure of is, why you feel like your heart is already entitled for somebody else, and you're having suspicions that it might be the person you have in mind exactly. 

"is everything okay?" 

you look up at the boy hovering over you as he takes a seat next to you. you spot sunghoon and jake fighting over a gelato flavour by the counter at the front of the store. 

"uh yeah," you reply, smiling at him briefly and then going back to poking at your gelato as it slowly melts due to the hot weather outside the air conditioned store. 

"you don't sound too sure, and that doesn't sound assuring at all." he says, giving you a small squeeze on your hand. 

you sigh at him, feeling your heart beat increase when he flashes you a small smile that gives you a tiny serotonin boost. gosh, at this point you wouldn't be surprised if you were lovestuck and mad in love with him.

just saying…

"something came up— with my friend. it was shocking and my mind is just all over the place…" you say, frowning and jay rubs his thumb over your hand. 

"you can tell me if you want to— it'll help you clear out your mind and i can help if possible?" 

you contemplate for a moment and then shark your head. 

"it's alright, i don't want to burden you jay." you say, and give him a small smile. what happened between you and seeun should stay between you two only, considering how she came out to you by mistake through the confession, you figured it's not your place to be telling everyone her privacy. 

and— you indeed didn't want to burden jay, although he's an amazing listener and you can tell him all your worries in the world and he surely can help you out, if possible like he had said so— speaking from past experience. 

"if that's the case, then sure." he says, and then pats your head lightly, caressing your hair for a second with heart eyes. "don't mind me," 

your eyes widens when he pecks a quick kiss on your lips, igniting a short gasp from you in shock. 

"jay!" you clasp your mouth with your hand, staring at him in shock. "that's risky! what if they co—" 

and he pecks you again after pulling your hand away from your lips. 

"okay? and i'll do it again," he shrugs and you opted to say something before he kissed you again, making you flustered. 

"i'll kiss my baby if i want to," 

"y-your what!" you ask, flabbergasted at the sudden pet name. jay has never used any of those ever before, not even during your intimate moments with him. 

so him using baby casually in you definitely caught you off guard— especially when it rolls of his tongue so easily as if he's used to it, and as if it's meant for you. 

"i said, my baby." he says, taking a bite of his gelato and grinning at you foolishly, as if he's in love. "you're my baby, can't i call my girl that?" 

you take a deep breath, turning around and screaming silently as you tried to keep your cool. 

like, RUCOEKENFB WHATEHFUCKKKKEKRNRNTNRNENENNRBDNER HES SO FCUTYEYEUEE BANGGING NY HEAD AGAISNT THE WAKK STEAES SRTESDMING DMY FACE GIGKGGKING SO HATD SHAKINF MY FEEETTTTTBGODDDDDD HES THE ONE HESS THE ONE FOR TMEEEEEEEEEE. 

just like that, but in your head where your inner mind is threatening to burst and your cheeks hurt from smiling too bright and your heart beating faster than usual and your stomach doing insane flips. 

the symptoms of being in love. 

"you know it's going to be easy to fall for you if you keep on doing that, jay." you say, with the most toned down tone, but your smile beating you to it as soon as you turn around to see jay leaning over the table as he looks at you with the most adored smile. 

the one that has every girl starstruck at first sight. 

"yeah? that's the point. because i'm already head over heels for you," he says, grinning. 

for some reason his sentence gives you a sudden hope, and also a tiny pang that you chose to ignore because right now, fuck getting fake hope, you just want to enjoy this moment. 

"really? that's quick, i guess i'm pretty irresistible after all," 

"that has always been the case for me y/n," 

"jay," you say, sighing at him with a smile. now you'll draw the line and stop the conversation from going further because if it did, then you'd be having an entire procrastination session with yourself and debating if he likes you or not. 

though that shouldn't be the case if you didn't like him, romantically— right?

"shut up or i'll kiss you." 

"then k—" 

and you do, you lean in and place a quick kiss and then pull away giggling when jay is caught off the guard. he smiles at your brighter and pecks you. 

and then you peck him again, and he pecks you and you peck him and he— 

"we're gonna get caught." you say, stopping him which disappointed him a little. 

how much he wished you both would get caught and when sunghoon gives you both his blessings and jay finally makes a move, he can kiss you anytime and anywhere he wants to. 

but he doesn't have that privilege yet. 

"okay, last one." he says and pecks you for the last time before you both see jake running over to the table.

"god sunghoon is such a menace, he has such a bad taste i can't believe you have a brother like that, y/n." he says, catching his breath and sunghoon finally joins beside him and nudges jake's arm, scoffing at him. 

"i got to praise you for keeping up with him, really." jake says, shaking his head and then yelping when sunghoon knocks his head for mocking him. "dude at this rate i'm about to go back with a bump on my head!"

"you're asking for it!"

"not that deep, really sunghoon!"

"so are you guys gonna cut it out or…" jay speaks up, and then looks back and forth between his two brothers like friends. 

"dude? you too! looks like you guys can't wait to just send me off," jake scoffs and bites a spoonful of gelato with an offended glare. 

"sunghoon probably can't wait for sure so he can have all of your bitches," you say, shurgging with a mischievous smile when sunghoon glares at you. "other than that, i'm feeling sad that you won't be here for the rest of the summer." 

"thank you for your appreciation y/n, you're the best, do you want a kiss?" 

you're rolling your eyes at the question when sunghoon goes on and off again, about how you're off limits and how jake is an asshole and how he also doesn't want his bitches because he already has his girl. 

which you opted to ask him about later, seeing how she was back in town as well. 

while on the other hand, you feel a warmth on your thigh which catches you off the guard. 

"what are you doing?" you whisper to jay, who's already looking at you with a small smirk before he leans in by your ear. 

"do you want to?" 

"huh?" eyebrows furrowed, you're confused. 

"jake," he says, and you see him glare at jake for a second and then back to you. "do you want to kiss him?" 

oh..

"would that be a problem?" 

"i don't know, just that jake would never the light of the day if he kissed you," 

you give him a shy laugh, before shaking your head. "then i don't want to kiss him," 

"why? cause he'll never see the light of the day?" 

"no," you deny. "it's because then you'll be fuming with jealousy and i won't get a break from wanting to be kissed by everyone, it's a struggle, really." 

jay nudges his elbow at you while his hand is still plastered on your thigh, rubbing it up and down slowly underneath the table where the action is hidden from your brother and his friend. 

"what are you two doing?" 

you both look up at sunghoon like deer caught in headlights, blinking as if you've both caught red handed. 

"w—" 

"don't tell me you guys are planning to ditch me when he leaves?" 

a breath you were holding had let go when you realized he didn't really realize what you two were doing. with a look of relief you try to move away, to put distance between you two but jay holds your thigh still while talking to sunghoon.

"guess you caught us red handed," 

"fuck you three, can't have shit i'm telling you." 

the three of you burst into laughter and your head falls back which jay realizes is too close to the wall so he puts a hand behind your head to prevent you from bumping into the wall. 

an action that's unnoticed by you but noticed by someone else. 

"anyway, i'm really so annoyed that the girls are coming back right when i'm away— i swear gongjin better be worth it." 

"girls?" you ask, furrowing your eyebrows when jake speaks. 

"yeah, our old friends from high school, they're gonna be back in town." sunghoon adds on and a small twisted feeling grows in the pit of your stomach. "some friends that jay might enjoy …" he snickers but the two of you don't. 

and then sunghoon mentions her. 

"dude, seriously it's gonna be crazy like you and mai reconciling— don't gotta worry about being bitchless anymore, won't you?" 

your gaze falls onto the gelato cup, and then suddenly feel like jay's hand is making you uncomfortable in the midst of s conversation about him and another girl, that isn't you. 

it was so unsettling. 

"hoon, i told you i don't have anything to do with her anymore— i don't even… i don't even fuck with her anymore." jay says, indirectly saying he doesn't give a shit about another girl when all he ever needs is you who's slouching next to him with a frown.

"isn't that the point of her coming back though," sunghoon laughs, "like you guys getting back together and reviving what you both left back in highschool?" 

you remove jay's hand off your thigh and leave a gap between you two almost immediately when the air in the store suddenly gets down. jay turns to look at you but you're looking out the window trying to not be bothered by the conversation between your brother and jay. 

in fact, it shouldn't bother you at all. all this while it's been pretty clear to the two of you that the two of you are nothing more than just fuck buddies, so getting jealous and upset at the mention of each other being with another person shouldn't even occur. 

so why exactly where you drowning in jealousy and suddenly out of mood at the mention of mai and jay having history— at the mention of jay finally seeing her again.

countless questions run through your head and it's truly killing jay alive, he knows what's running through your mind and he's unable to stop you with sunghoon at the scene. 

"hoon, i think he's pretty serious bout' this— he's hard on not wanting to fuck with mai again, so drop it." jake says, nudging sunghoon when he's totally dense enough to not read the atmosphere in the room.

"yeah yeah, you say this all the time man," sunghoon points his spoon at jay. "in the end, you're deep into mai just like the old times." 

the conversation alone is enough to make you want to throw up so you abruptly stand up, catching everyone's attention. 

"i'm gonna head home first, i feel unwell." you say and walk past jay while sunghoon calls after you. 

pushing past the door, you exit the store and feel like your face was about to explode. 

"fuck," you sigh, not knowing why exactly why it's even this serious.

"y/n," 

you don't even turn around to know who it is, from the tone and voice it already has you intrigued.

"why are you after me?" 

"i don't want her y/n," 

"why are you telling me that?" you ask him, turning around with a sigh. 

"because you're upset…. sunghoon is just— you know him, i, i don't miss her or want to f—" 

"jay," you say, trying to fight back the urge to cry. "it shouldn't matter whether you miss her, or if you want to….." you trail off, not being able to bring the words out of your mouth about him fucking her. 

"i am not upset, i'm just not feeling well, really," you say, shaking your head and then jay walks to you and places his hand on your forehead which you move backwards away from. 

and that undeniably breaks this heart. 

"y/n w—" 

"jay don't worry about me. i'm being serious, you just…. spend the rest of your day with them, you don't have to come over later." you say, and move to leave but jay holds your hand in his, stopping you in tracks. 

"i want to worry about you, i can't just leave you like this?" 

"jay…." 

"y/n, i'm sorry. please? i'll get sunghoon to stop talking about her if it makes you uncomfortable…" 

"why would you do that? it shouldn't matter if your— if, mai bothers me, which doesn't so," you deny. 

"you're lying, y/n." 

"i'm not, jay—" you frown. "you don't even know me," oh, he really did know you well. 

"then i want to, know you. whatever that makes you feel better, okay? i want to make it better for you so, don't leave like this." 

you sigh, again. unable to slip away from his grasp, you massage your temple as you look at the boy before you. 

"jay, i want to leave, please i don't feel good." 

jay sighs, frowning as he buries the disappointment in his heart deep down as he nods slowly, giving in. 

"okay— let me help you catch a cab at least, please. " you agree, letting him do that before you're leaving the store leaving a sad jay behind. 

he tries to not walk in and just punch sunghoon right in face for never shutting up about mai, like he could literally care less about his past fling, when YOU, the girl he always needed, he's finally got. 

but now sunghoon just had to run his mouth and make you upset, and have you leave the place with things fucked between jay and you. 

groaning, he heads back into the store, trying to not punch sunghoon all the way and after a lot of persuading from jake, he calmed down and spoke to sunghoon, whilst you were on his mind for the most part. 

when you got back home, you were confused while jay's words rang in your head as you collected yourself from the mess.

why did he apologize to you? he didn't have the need to do that, even if you got offended by the mention of mai and jay. it shouldn't have bothered the two of you, jay shouldn't have even had a reason to explain it to you, yet alone ran after you just because you seemed like you were offended. 

you actually were but still.

"fuck," you gasp, cheeks heating up and your stomach churning in, suddenly feeling an unexplainable feeling that you always feel when you're around jay. 

is it possible……… that you…. like …..

him?

CROWDEDNESS has never been your scene, and your friends very well knew it. if anything, the entire summer proved that you preferred being with one person or even alone, away from the sweaty bodies and alcohol smell lingering in the air. 

but jake's farewell party is just as important to you as it is for the rest, including your friends. so it wouldn't have been right to skip it just for the sake of avoiding jay and their new friends joining tonight..

though you were intrigued to see mai and understand sunghoon's hype about her being back. she really can't be all that, right?

"did you hear?" 

you turn around to see wooyoung giggling, and pulling you and karina in to whisper. 

"hear what?" karina asks, but wooyoung shushes her, glaring at her as if it's a secret that's forbidden to be spoken out about. 

"apparently," he says, and then looks at you. "jay's here with his car?" 

"okay and, what about it?" you ask, rolling your eyes at the irrelevant information wooyoung says. 

"what about it? did you forget?" 

karina gasps and then looks at wooyoung, "oh my god," 

"yeah…." 

at this point you're the only one who's oblivious to what's the deal about jay's car until you remember what wooyoung had told you before. about jay's car. 

"oh," 

"OH? THAT'S ALL?" 

"well what am i supposed to do about it? go and talk to him while he's engulfed with mai and get into his car, so i can be the first person to ride it?" 

"well thats possible considering you've ridden other things—" you slap wooyoung's arm with a scoff. 

"dude shut the fuck up," you say, shaking your head at him. "he probably brought his car for mai or whatever, it doesn't matter." you pause. "why are even talking about that anyway," 

karina and wooyoung sigh, and then brings up another topic, before dragging you to the drinks counter to grab drinks. 

"you need to chill, so" karina says, handing you a red solo cup with an unidentified liquid in it. "yes it's alcohol, just drink it." 

"i was not planning to get wasted tonight," 

"yeah but we are so, you can't refuse." wooyoung says, and nudges you. 

"just let loose y/n, summer is ending soon, we won't ever get to go to parties and get shit faced after this, senior year summer only comes one time sooooo!" 

you laugh at karina slurring away, already wasted so quickly and then grab the drink out of her hand and chug it down as the two cheer for you. 

"fuck! that was—" you clear your throat, scrunching your nose when you swallow the last bit of the drink, head frenzy at the sudden rush. "so good, get me another one." 

and the night went on, you successfully avoided your brother and his friends, just dancing and drinking the night away with your two other shit faced friends. 

trying out beer pong, flip cup, drunk jenga, avalanche, never have i ever, truth or dare, and alot more that consisted of getting absolutely wasted— you finally chose to get a break from how your head was pounding already. 

"rina," you giggle at your friend who's taking a shot. she places the glass down and then turns to you with a big smile. 

"y/n my babyyyyyy!" 

you both giggle as you slur, and pinching each others cheeks. 

"i need to shhhhhhhhh" you imitate a pissing sound and she nods, giving you a thumbs up. 

"do you want me to follow you?" 

"no, noooo!" you decline her offer, letting her have fun and you would be fine on your own, not a big deal. "wooyoung will throw a tantrum if he finds out we're gone, stayy!" 

with a nod, you escape the crowded room and make your way upstairs in the not so familiar house. to your surprise, you found out earlier that sunghoon wasn't throwing the party in your house instead at his friend's house which is the current one you're in, though you have no idea who this friend was. 

one thing you know he's gonna dread letting sunghoon throw a party in his house, because the next morning is gonna be ass, and the entire town is invited when sunghoon throws a party.

you finally found the bathroom, and then head in quickly locking the door in case someone decides to walk in and throw up all over you while you're pissing all the liquid you had consumed from earlier. 

you were still tipsy after the quick bathroom trip, considering how much you've been drinking the entire evening. it's actually the most you've ever drank, a new record set. 

when you opened the door, to exit you stopped in tracks of the boy you've been secretly earning to see for the longest time, but your ego was up as an obstacle. 

"y/n," he says, not that he was expecting to see you cheeks flustered and almost no self stability. 

"jaaayyyyeee!" you gasp, wrapping your arms around his neck, catching him by surprise. 

"y/n? what are you doing? somebody might see us—" he's cut off short when you drag him into the nearest room and lock the door behind him before you lean backwards on the wall, looking up at jay. 

you're not sober enough to realise your actions, because clearly if you were sober, you would have sprinted the other way the moment you saw jay and instead of arms locked around him, erotic level skyrocketing through the roof at the sight of him so hot in his iconic leather jacket. 

"it's such a sad thing you're not mine, jay," you sigh, but then chuckle when a hiccup leaves your mouth by surprise. "but im yours right?" 

"yes, always y/n b—" 

"kiss me," 

"y/n wh—" 

"kiss me, jay." you say, and don't wait a second longer before pulling him in and closing the gap between you two, lips locking onto each other as the two of your lips move against each other, like a puzzle piece that was meant to be put together.

jay's hand stays on your waist, it irks you but you're too drunk to bother about it as your hand trails down his chest, and then fingertips touch the silver lining of his skin before he's pulling away.

"y/n, we can't."

"what?" you ask, confused as to why he's saying no— not that it has ever been an issue before for the two of you, and by how he's breathing and the painfully obvious tent in his pants, you're sure he wants it. so what's the issue?

"i don't want you to regret this," 

"jay, this has never been a problem before, what's the issue?" you scoff, crossing your arms as he moves backwards. 

"you're drunk, i'm not going to take advantage of you while you're drunk, y/n…." 

"im not drunk," jay looks at you with a knowing glare and it throws you off. "fine, but i'm sober enough to sleep with you so i don't see a problem here." 

"we're not even on good terms, let's talk it out first," he says, and you sigh, shaking your head. 

"what's there to talk about? you shouldn't even care, jay. we're not even that serious to talk things out between us," you say, but it just sounds like you're slurring words and the way jay is looking at you says it all. 

"you're just saying anything now— forget it, let's talk about it when you're sober y/n." 

you push jay's hand off when he comes to hold yours, "are you serious right now?" 

"w—" 

"no, jay. why can't you just fuck and leave like you always do, after all, aren't we just fuck buddies? there shouldn't be anything between us like this. all we should be doing is fu—" 

"what the fuck y/n." jay scoffs, in disbelief at the words straight coming out of your mouth. "are YOU for real right now?" 

"well does it look like im joking? I don't get why it's such a big deal to you now, just d—"

a knock interrupts you both and the voice that speaks from the other side of the door, has you enraged.

that seemed to definitely sober you up, worse than an advil on a hangover morning. 

"jay? are you in there? someone said they saw you go in there, you left me all alone." 

it's mai, the infamous mai. 

"so that's why it's an problem now, right?" you ask, pushing his hand away and turning around to leave but jay holds you back, which you yank it off yourself. 

"don't touch me," you scoff and open the door to a ginger, staring at the two of you confused but smiles when she sees jay. then the smile drops when she sees you, with him. 

"y/n w—" 

without a second of letting him continue what he was saying, you storm out of the room leaving both jay and mai behind staring at you. 

mai attempts to grab jay who's running after you but the annoyed look he gives her when she shoves her is enough to has her lips shut.

"ah, what the fuck? who even is she?" mai whines, holding in her annoyance at the boy she has been head over heels for. 

"his," she turns around to see jake, looking at her with a smug smirk. "first love." 

"what? that's not possible? i'm his first love?" 

"that's what you think," jake shurgs. "but she's the one he's gonna leave his one day girl for his day one girl— the one that jay has always liked, so you're pretty much not even in the story mai." 

mai scoff at what she thinks jake's being a dick of, though that's the plain truth and he's right. jake watches her storm off before he finally goes back to sunghoon, hoping jay finally gets it right this time. 

when he arrived at the front yard, he realized you're nowhere to be found and his heart starts beating in anxiousness. the what if's running in his head as he's looking around for has him wanting to pass out. 

he knows you're not in the frat house anymore because clearly you're smart enough to not stay there and he saw you leaving the house anyway. 

taking out his keys, he immediately runs over to his car and pulls it out of the driveway, earning curious looks from the attendees in the front. 

sighing, you rub your head. it feels like you woke up from a nap that cleared the drunkenness up in you and you're sober enough to feel the embarrassment and heartbreak you just went through.

you should have known it was always mai, whether or not you came along first or later and the embarrassment of his declining to fuck you was even worse than the time you accidentally moaned out too loud and jay held onto that to tease you for a straight week. 

the weather wasn't helping either, wearing a dress wasn't exactly ideal for tonight. seeing how chilly it was, it looked like it was about to rain too from how cloudy the sky was.

and then the first drop falls, then the next, then it starts drizzling and before you know it, it's literally pouring and you're just walking in the rain, being the most pathetic person in the planet at the moment while the guy you have grown fond and like is blocks away, probably legs tangled in sheets with another girl. 

a honk surprises you when a pair of headlights come into view, making you turn around. 

maybe you were wrong. 

the car stops right behind you and your heart stops when he steps out of it, running towards you as he gets soaked in the rain. 

he grabs your arm and tries to shield you from the rain but you yank his grip off you.

"what the fuck are you doing? it's raining, y/n are you insane?" he asks, and reaches to hold you again but step back. 

"why are you after me? since when whether or not i'm insane mattered to you jay? go back to mai or something," you say turning around to go the other way but jay stops you by moving in front of you.

"let's talk this out, inside. you're gonna catch a cold, y/n." 

"god, why do you even care! you're not even my brother!" 

jay's chest heaves, and you watch him sigh before shaking his head. 

"trust me y/n, when it comes to you— i'm most definitely not thinking like a brother would." 

"leave me alone, jay— which part of that do you not get?" you scoff, letting the words you don't mean leave your mouth out of anger when you meant none of it. 

and then he snaps. 

"FOR GOD'S FUCKIN' SAKE— GET IN!" his voice echoes through the rain and you stare at him in absolute shock. you absolutely pushed the wrong button when you see the pissed off expression he has on his face. 

realizing you weren't going to move anytime soon, jay grabs your hand, leading you into his car and letting you into the passenger seat. 

the immediate air conditioning in the car sends chills down your spine, right after getting soaked in the rain. jay gets in not long after, and lowers down the air-conditioning then he reaches behind and grabs, what you examine is a jacket. 

you lock eyes with him as he puts his jacket over you as he locks you in with the seatbelt, and in a swift he looks away before changing the gear and speeding down the road. 

you both don't say anything pretty much for the most part, especially when he's practically speeding— you don't wish to push his limits even more than you already shouldn't have. 

and you know you shouldn't be shameless, but the situation had you in a tight spot. pissed off jay is…… something. 

you know wooyoung would have knocked some sense into you for being absolutely ridiculous at the worst moment but you couldn't help it. 

jay drives into your neighborhood and you've never been more glad to escape jay when you see your house come into view. 

when he parks, you hold onto the door handle but when you pull it, you realize the lock isn't unlocked. 

"can you unlock?" 

"no— not until we sort this out." 

"i don't want to talk or sort this out jay, there's nothing to address."

he turns to face you and your heart stops because one, he was insanely gorgeous under the streetlights and the led light in his Mercedes making him look so fucking hot, and expensive. 

even after getting soaked in the rain. 

"nothing to address? are you being dense on purpose or what— it's bothering me." 

you remain lip-tight shut, staring at him in silence before he speaks up again. 

"you didn't even hear me you, you just left like that do you know i felt? i was so fucking scared something might have happened to you—"

"when did you even care?" you laugh, and then turn to look at him. "why do you care? like i said, aren't we just friends with benefits, considering how all we've ever done is just fuck?" 

jay looks at you, hurt displayed all over his face but you go on.

"the fact you're acting like you care, it's giving me hope jay. you need to stop doing that and just tell right, what am i to you and what we are." you pause, "you— you're just, a summer fling." 

before you could sigh, your lips are taken by jay, catching you by surprise, but as always, like it always has been that way, you kiss him back. this time like it's your last kiss, like you're never going to kiss him ever again. 

jay slips his hand onto your cheek, holding your face as he moves his lips against yours, a tear slipping past your eyes, coating the previous rain water on your face. 

you both pull away, catching from each other's breath, foreheads leaning against each other. you look into his eyes and he's already looking at you, and your eyes get glossy as your heart breaks. 

you didn't quite understand what he was trying to tell, you didn't know if what you were doing was right as well. 

"look me in the eyes, y/n." he says, almost like a whisper in the defeating silence, the only sound is the sound of the raindrops hitting his car outside. "and tell me if what we had was nothing to you."

"and, if i really am— just a summer fling?" 

you go silent, your gaze falls to your hands and you nibble on your lower lip, trying to find words to tell him wrong but none comes into your mind. 

because everything you did with him was never, nothing. and jay, is simply not just a summer fling anymore.

maybe at the beginning he was, but overtime when time went on, everything between the two of you changed. 

because summer flings who fuck each other don't get butterflies from just holding hands, or do you come all the way to your home just because you said you're not feeling too well instead of just wishing a get well soon. 

summer flings who fuck who's hearts don't flip when they kiss each other, or get all giddy when one calls another by a sweet pet name.

nor do they get jealous when a third person comes into the relationship, nor to they find themselves explaining when not even needed, especially when all the other person to them is just a summer fling. 

"because to me you're not— just a summer fling, y/n. i've liked you since day one, ever since the day you spoke to me when sunghoon brought me back to your home for the first time ever." 

the feeling you're feeling right now making you want to pull in jay and kiss him, making all ends meet just to get him as yours— but, is that really how it is supposed to be? 

"w—we can't…" you trail off, sighing as you pull away your forehead from jay's. jay holds your hand, not letting you go, keeping you in his warmth on the cold rainy night. 

"is this because of sunghoon?" 

it's always been because of sunghoon. whenever it came to your private love life it had always been because of sunghoon. 

to the point where'd you think he just didn't want you to have a pleasant life, where you'd have a boyfriend in. but you understand where he's coming from, as a brother it's only natural he'd want to protect his sister from all those sleazy guys out there. 

but constantly wrecking every single chance you had? that's not it. 

and the fact jay is sunghoon's best friend doesn't help any better. 

your expression plastered on your face just says it all for jay, he sighs and pressed your hands together, giving you reassurance. 

"i'll take care of it, don't worry." 

"that's not it, jay. it's sunghoon…. i can't betray him like this.." 

"then what about you?" 

"what?" you blink, looking back up at him. 

"then what about yourself? it's always been like this, you've never actually done anything in favor for yourself, either sunghoon always held you back from it or you don't do it because of him." he says, "when will you start doing what your heart wants, y/n? sunghoon can't hold you back forever."  

"chose to do what your heart wants, y/n. it'll be worth it— like who you want to like, date who you want to date, go out with who you want to, kiss who you want to—" he pauses, then looks at you with a small smile. "only if that person is me or i'll side with sunghoon for this one." 

you let out a laugh, slapping jay's arm, heart fluttering at his words. he smiles when you do, his heart flutters when he heard your laugh after a while, giving him a sort of assurance. 

you look out the window, and see it's stopped pouring already, just light drizzling but safe enough to walk out in. 

"i should go now, it's getting late." you say, sighing as you go back into your dilemma. you place your hand on the handle, this time a whole different emotion that before. "i'll think about….. what you said, jay." 

he gives you a short smile before unlocking the door and getting out before you, then opening the door for you to step out on right after he ends the engine. when you step out, it's almost so chilly that you get goosebumps despite having jay's jacket around you.

he walks you up all the way to your doorstep, you give him a small look before heading in and a huge sigh leaves you. 

he's right, you should do what your heart desires, and you did either way this happening at some point in you two's relationship throughout summer. 

back then it was just a small thing, like— what sunghoon doesn't know wouldn't hurt him but things have changed. 

you two no longer are just two people who fool around, fucking. you're both now aware of the feelings towards each other, and if jay was ready to give it up, why couldn't you?

sunghoon is to worry about later, but now— if you don't make your move now, then you might just end up losing jay forever. 

you know what you want now, what your heart wants now— more than anything, for once & for all.

it's more than clear that he's not just a summer fling anymore, you turn around, fingertips wrapped around the door handle once again, before you pull it open and step out. 

jay's jacket falling off your shoulders, onto the floor before you step down the porch and run back to jay. 

your chest collides with his back as you wrap your arms around him, taking in his warmth again. 

caught by surprise jay turns around to see you, looking down at you in shock as to why you're hugging him just right after he sent you off. 

"y/n—"

"jay." 

"this is my answer." in a swift, you pull him by his shirt, connecting your lips with his, eyes fluttering shut while your hearts fluttered like butterflies had been set free in you. 

jay's lips turn upwards, smiling against yours, arms wrapping around your waist as he tilts his head for more access. jay pulls away first, letting his forehead rest against yours like moments from before, as you both catch your breaths. 

"i promise it'll be worth it." he says, muttering against your lips and looking up at you. 

"then," you say, pausing before you slip your hand under his shirt briefly, making him look down and then back at you. "prove it." 

smirking, he gives you a small kiss, before letting you take his hand in yours and lead you back into your house. 

maybe this once, you're grateful that your parents were away and sunghoon was nowhere to be found.

hands in each others grasp, you both head up the stairs, giggles heard as you both get into your room and jay locks the door behind you as soon as your back hits the wall. 

his lips immediately latch onto your neck while your hands trail up his chest then lock your hands behind your neck, gripping the hair on the nape of his neck.

jay holds your waist on one, the other on your neck. the moment you feel his touch on you, your body feels electrified with love and lust. the air is getting thick with tension and immediate lust. 

you've never felt more alive now, and so does jay now. he feels even more alive now, with his lips on your skin, hands around your body— he's never felt more alive ever, not even when he's on the tracks in his second most prized possession. 

but nothing can compare to you, for him, you're his number one priority and prized possession.

the both of you pull away and stare at each other when you two realise it's time you need more. but this time, it's more than just fucking— you're both making love, a genuine one. 

"up," jay mutters against your lips, before connecting it back again when you jump a little and he catches you. carrying you to the bed, he lays you down without breaking the kiss. 

the moment you do, jay only pulls away to practically tear his shirt off, leaning towards you on top of you.

"i'm yours to keep, and i'm yours to lose, y/n." he says, sighing in relief before placing his lips onto yours, again. "i'm— yours." 

SUNLIGHT BLOOMING INTO your room to through the seeps of your curtains seemed to be the first thing you see when you blink awake. you don't recall a good night's sleep like the one you just woke up from. 

for a moment you almost regret waking up from such a magnificent sleep, but when you shift to your right and met with what seemed to be hard as a walk of bricks, your regret is washed away almost immediately. 

rubbing your eyes, you blink a few more times to realize finally what it was. toned chest? a naked one too…. 

then it hits you. the memories from the night before.

"you're awake," 

your eyes widens and your heart beats like crazy at how raspy jay's morning voice was— so fucking hot. the wetness from last night almost came back between your thighs. 

"oh— uhm, yeah." you say, looking up at him, with a smile. he greets you with a small smile, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear before sighing. 

"what?" you ask him, but he just shakes his head only to intrigued you more. "jay!" you tap his arm, but he shakes his head again. 

you sit up, pulling the sheets up with you to cover your chest as you're not dressed yet after last night's event. 

"you're telling me now or i'll kick you out." you say, with a pout which has jay almost kicking the air at, from how cute you looked like. 

"it's just— i'm a little jealous of people." 

"please elaborate jay," you say, eyebrows furrowed together. 

"how can they get to see your beauty for free— seriously, everyone should be paying to see you." he says, and a smile creeps up his face when your face heats up at the compliment.

you hit your pillow on him, laughing at the way he blocks it. "you're so corny!" 

"what! I'm just telling you the truth," he says, putting his hands up to defend himself before he sits up on the bed, the sheets covering up to his v line. 

you try to not lose your shit at how gorgeous he looked as well, the bed hair doing more than enough to make you want to punch your first in the air, fangirling about him. 

"well is it not true then?" he asks, smiling at you. "i'm pretty sure i can compliment my girl if i want to, and because she deserves it too." he shrugs. 

my girl. god, that only makes you want to kiss him so bad even more. 

but that makes you wonder— where do you both stand now, what exactly were you two now. 

"i can already tell what you're thinking, y/n." he says, pulling you towards him, making you sit on his lap as you look at him with those starry eyes. 

"you're like an open book, easy to read." he says, caressing your cheeks. "but, this is not the way i wanted to ask you out— i wanna do it in a more perfect way, not in the morning after i fucked your brains out." 

you push his arm slightly rolling your eyes at the mention of both of your actions last night. 

"but, to me," you pause. "anything is perfect when it's with you, jay." 

he smiles at you, his other hand holding your hand in his, thumb rubbing over your hand. 

"everything is perfect because you're already perfect, y/n." 

"i said stop being corny." 

"i'll be corny if i want to—cause no matter how corny it is, i mean every single one of it, love." he says, giggling. 

"but, i don't think i want to be just friends, or fuck buddies with you anymore, if it's not obvious yet." he says, smiling up at you as he speaks. "i want to be more than that. i want to do everything with you, even if i'm not your first, i want to be your last and forever y/n." 

you nod, tears brimming up in your eyes at his words, it's all perfectly overwhelming, just what you loved. 

"i'll promise to treat you right, i'll make you happy, and i promise to make every single moment with you worth it." he says, connecting his fingers between yours. "and you know, i always keep my words." 

"i know." you say, smiling back at him. 

"so what do you say, y/n y/l/n— will you, go out with me?" he asks, "a date you'll never forget, i swear." 

you blink away the tears, realizing perhaps maybe you're overreacting but truly, you've never felt this way towards anyone else before so it's only natural you're feeling this way at the moment. 

"my answer is…….." you trail off, looking at him before placing your hand on top of his chest, and then kissing him on the cheek. "yes." 

jay breaks out into a big smile, the one that makes your heartbeat faster and flutter. 

he couldn't ask for more than this moment. 

COUNTLESS OF DILEMMA have you encountered but nothing like the one you're having at the moment. 

which dress should you wear? 

jay told you he'd pick you up in the evening and you had barely even two hours left to get ready but you're having a dress crisis right now and you have no idea how to solve it. 

sure red complimented your skin tone but it's too bold for just a night out. but if you picked the white flowy one, it's too casual if he pulls up to a fancy restaurant which you'd feel too underdressed to. 

even after asking jay for the theme, he told you to dress whichever made you comfortable and not to worry much about the date.

but here you were, close to ripping your hair out because you needed to look gorgeous tonight. it's your first ever date with him.

eventually after a lot of procrastinating and debating with yourself, you decided to just go for the white sundress the simple choice is always the best— besides, it's broad daylight so you figured to not stress much about it, and even if jay took you to an expensive restaurant, it wouldn't matter, as long you're with him. 

by the time you were done, jay had arrived at your place and sunghoon was out again, so it just made sneaking out with jay easier. 

"holy…." jay gasps, hand flying to his mouth as he stares at you when he gets off leaning against his car. 

you immediately start to panic by how he's staring at you— were you not dressed for the occasion?

"what? am i in the wrong dress code?" you ask, your heart dropping at the thought of ruining the date already. 

"no…." jay finally speaks up, as his hand falls to his side and the other one holds a bouquet you hadn't noticed. "y/n, you're gorgeous." 

your lips curve up into a smile as your heart beats against its cage, so fast you're afraid it might burst out of you. 

"thank you, jay." you say, thanking him and then you take in his appearance. it's a surprise to you why he hasn't agreed to being a model at this rate despite being scouted by countless companies.

he seemed to look absolutely gorgeous as well in the white shirt with sleeves he had rolled up his arms showing off the hard work of him hitting the gym often with his black hair slicked back, one strand hanging out yet making him drop dead handsome. 

"you look amazing too," you say, coming up to him and pecking him softly on the lips before you two giggle at the adorableness. 

"here, i got this just for you, my beautiful girl." he says, handing you the bouquet of white roses, and god, did it make you feel like you were on cloud 9. 

"these are really pretty." you say, staring at them in awe, like it's the prettiest flowers you have ever seen in the entire planet earth. while on the other hand, jay was looking at you as if you were the most prettiest in the entire planet earth. 

"i know, but— nothing beats your beauty." 

"stop!!" you whine, getting embarrassed as you hide your face behind the bouquet, giggling when jay takes your hand in his. 

"god, you're so cute." he says, smiling at you before he ushers you into his car and you both set off for your date. 

you two stop by a bakery first, for a light breakfast because according to jay, you'd two be walking a lot and when you arrived at the destination, you finally understood why. 

you didn't know if he was aware of it, but he probably had no idea how long you desired a date like this, and how long it's been in your bucket list for. 

an aquarium date. 

you think you can gladly pass out in peace after the date. 

"huh?" you ask, looking at jay when he slings a small bag that seemed to be tiny and fitting for a camera— a camera case/bag?

"i brought it with me today, just for you, " he says, pointing at the camera with a smile. 

"oh, it looks really old though." you say, noticing how ancient it looked. perhaps it was passed down in his family? must be it, or he could've gotten a limited edition, antique one— it wasn't entire impossible. 

"yeah, it's my family's— a tradition actually." he says, and you nod along as jay proceeds to explain further. 

"in my family, there's this thing where for every first date moment, the guy in our family takes this camera along to capture the moment. at first i thought it was pretty much just a thing we had going on, but like— i heard it was also like a good luck item so, everyone who bought this along during their dates eventually got together in the end." 

"oooooh," you say, amazed at his explanation. "that sounds great! and very cute but—" you stop, and turn to look at him just as you both were about to enter the aquarium. 

"everyone really got together at the end?" 

jay smiles at you, then pats your head softly with love. 

"i see you in my future, so i hope that gives you an answer." he says, and the  takes your hand in his before taking you into the aquarium while hearts were practically flying around the two of you with big smiles plastered on each other's face. 

jay couldn't help but admire you the entire time, how cute you looked, staring at the sea life animals in awe with your starry eyes. the blue light radiating off the water in the dim made you look absolutely gorgeous. 

taking his camera up to his face to capture the moment, his heart dwells when you turn around in time with a big smile. 

click!

"hey! that's enough for me, let me take some of you!" you say, and practically forcing jay to give you the camera when he finally gave in, you made him stand right before the giant thick glass, just right behind a group of fish swimming back. 

such a perfect moment to be captured. 

click!

and in that moment, when he flashes his pretty smile, your heart skips a beat, and you realize that— you see jay in your future as well.

BY THE END OF THE DATE, you two were practically worn out, but by the sound of how loud your stomachs were growing, you two decided to bail out on a reservation jay made and quickly head to a nearby restaurant. 

good for the two of you, the place seemed to be good enough and it wasn't rush hour yet so you both immediately settled down in there. 

the waiter had successfully ushered you two to a table where you both sat down and enjoyed your meal for the most. 

"we got enough time," jay says, after chugging down his water. 

"enough time for?" you ask, staring at him and cheeks filled of food that jay finds undeniably adorable.

right after dinner, getting into his car, jay drove you to somewhere really far off the coast. you enjoyed the majority of the ride there, songs blasting as you both sang along to the lyrics and laughing each other's ass off at the wrong lyrics and broken high notes. 

"we're here." 

getting out of the car, you slip off your shoes and leave in his car before running off to the beach. jay follows behind you, with a smile on his face as he watches how gorgeous you looked so carefree, your hair caressed by the wind and your silhouette absolutely gorgeous.

beach trips at almost midnight might not be the most ideal but jay had remembered how you had it in your bucket list, so here he was with you, fulfilling it for you. 

he doesn't say anything when he catches up next to you, instead he just watched how you admire the ocean with sparkly eyes and how beautiful you looked at the moment wherein the moonlight reflecting on your face, brightening up the night.

"it's so beautiful," you say, taking in how beautiful the ocean looked in the eerie hours of the night. 

"yeah," he says. 

you turn to agree with him on the view but when you do, you're shocked to see him just looking at you with awe, instead of looking at the ocean. 

in midst of the sound of the waves moving around and water crashing off the shores, jay speaks up. and in that moment, everything else blocks out and all you hear is him, like it's only the two of you in the entire world. 

"stunning." 

flashing him a smile, you take his hand in yours, and the other cup his cheeks before you lean in and place your lips onto his. jay intertwined his fingers in yours, pulling you by your waist closer to him.

the adrenaline from your near fall is pumped through your system, pushing your heart rate into unhealthy territory. each movement is equivalent to the more your feelings get more in the moment.

you pull away first from out of breath but the way jay places a single kiss on your cheek and then pulling you into a hug convinced you that you'd continue the kiss if oxygen didn't matter. 

"i never want to lose you, y/n. i mean it." he says, and you wrap your arms around him. 

"i never want to lose you either, jay nor do i want to give you up in any circumstances." 

he pulls away and then looks at you. 

"even if sunghoon is in the way?" 

you give him a small squeeze on his arm before placing a small kiss on his cheek in return. 

"even if sunghoon is in the way." you say, and he pats your head softly, like he's caressing the world's best treasure. 

for some reason, the look he gives at the time, it gives you reassurance and hope that he truly means it, from the bottom of his. deciding to not say anything further you just give him a small smile.

turning around, he keeps his arms locked around your waist while you both stared off into the ocean, letting silence overtake the two of you. 

the night couldn't have ended any better. 

EVEN JAKE'S DEPARTURE hadn't hurt you as much as the news you had received from karina. that had only been the tip of the iceberg in the summer. 

"like it's supposed to be the time of our lives but leaving high school sounds unreal to me," wooyoung says, sighing against his seat in the diner. 

you twirl the straw in your smoothie cup with another sigh to accompany it.

"no for real, cause what are we actually gonna do when high school ends….. like grad and then!" he continues, mumbling in misery. 

you agree with wooyoung, the past few years had been so repetitive you're not sure if ending high school is a joyful experience or leaving you in a dilemma. 

perhaps back a few months ago when you were studying your ass off for finals, you might've been glad to end it for once and for all. 

but now that you're here, with your friends in a diner that had always been your local hangout spot, enjoying the very few last moments of you guys together. 

without, seeun. 

you've successfully avoided her for about a week now, and since you hit off with jay— but you do feel sad whenever she's not around whenever you guys would hang out at times. 

"uhm," you hear someone clear their throat and when you look up, your jaw almost drops to the floor. but you can't exactly blame yourself, wooyoung and karina had the exact same reactions as well.

"seeun?" 

as if the universe has been listening to your thoughts, you couldn't quite believe she was actually here after what had happened. and to be honest, the look she had plastered on her face, it was giving you mixed feelings. 

"sorry for showing up." .

"why are you sorry?" you ask, looking up at her as the other two stare at you, in shock. "you shouldn't be sorry for coming to hang out with your friends." 

"if anything, we should be sorry for not calling you along whenever y/n is with us…." karina says, finally popping the secret. she nudges wooyoung and he speaks up as well. 

"yeah, we just felt like you two needed time apart from each other…… after, what happened?" 

seeun just smiles at wooyoung and nods, not having any hard feelings. as rebellious as these two can be, seeun understands where wooyoung and karina are coming from. 

"i know, what you guys mean and where you guys are coming from.." she says, nodding. 

karina gives you a look you couldn't quite comprehend before she drags wooyoung to stand up with her and moves out of the booth before pushing seeun down to sit before you. 

"well, it seems like you guys need to have something to talk out, so we'll get going! just let us know when you guys are home!" karina says, and pulls wooyoung away after waving at you and seeun. 

"RINA NO I WANNA KNOW THE TEA—" wooyoung's screams are muffled as he gets further away from the booth leaving you two alone. 

sudden silence takes over you two as you both try to say something but nothing is leaving your mouths. when you decide to address the issue while picking at your nail, seeun seems to beat you to it. 

"i'm sorry." 

"seeun.." 

"no y/n, i just— hear me out first alright?" she says, and you just nod along as you listen to her before leaning back in your seat. 

"i am sorry, for what happened. i shouldn't have been selfish and just thought of myself and prioritized my feelings— i should have taken your feelings into consideration. and after, reflecting on what happened, i apologize for still bursting out at you, and still— growing feelings for you despite you making it clear that you were into jay, and getting mad at you for not acknowledging my feelings was just immature…" 

you two fall into another silence again before you understand that she's ready for you to response and say something back. 

"i, first of all— seeun, you shouldn't invalidate your feelings. your feelings must be an priority, of course to you, what i feel comes next— but i admit, i was offended at the fact you just bursted out at me like that but, still— saying you were selfish for liking me is unreasonable." you pause, giving her a small smile before continuing. 

"you can't help who you like, your heart wants what it wants, and you can't stop that. but just because you like someone, it doesn't necessarily mean they'd like you back." 

"you just said the most brutal thing in the most calm way, it helps with my heartbreak." seeun says, chuckling and you give her a sympathetic smile before putting your hand over the table and giving her a small squeeze. 

"i, will need some time. to move on from you, but you're a really great person, y/n— anyone would be beyond lucky to have you." 

you nod, smiling at her a little bit brighter. you just know jay would go frenzy to see you smiling like this at the moment. 

"and so are you, anyone would be blessed to have you as their partner— you're really amazing, but i'm sorry that person can't be me…" you say, whispering the last part but it doesn't go unnoticed by seeun. 

"cause that person for you, is already jay."

you look up, stunned at how she found out but she just laughs it off. 

"it's the talk of the town, even if you didn't tell me— i would've known either way, wooyoung has a big chatterbox mouth." 

you laugh at her commentary, before screaming your soul out when the mentioned boy jumps from behind your seat, scaring you in the process. 

"you're talking shit about me? really seeun, in my opinion you shouldn't be saying that when y—" 

karina walks up behind him, slapping his arm making him wince in pain. 

"tell me she isn't right, seeun you're so correct about that so ignore this menace." she says, and sitting next to seeun while wooyoung slips next to you in the booth. 

"were you eavesdropping wooyoung?" 

"what no!" 

"yes he was." 

you four burst into laughter when wooyoung's lie is immediately shut down by karina's truth. 

"ugh! you're just so!" 

"yeah yeah shut up!!!" 

"anyway, summer is ending soon," you say, cutting the two bickering friends off and they immediately turn their attention to you. "grad is soon, how do we feel about that?" 

"im sad," 

"no shit sherlock." 

and the conversation goes on for the rest of the day as you four catch up on all the missed contents and stuff you guys would usually catch up on, that you and seeun are finally on good terms again. 

however when you head back home and immediately receive a call from jay, you were definitely not expecting to see him showing up at your doorstep with a legit black eye in the middle of the night.

"WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?" 

jay walks into your house without a single explanation while you keep asking him on and on about what happened but he didn't budge until you got into your room, door locked. 

"are you not gonna say a thing? or do i have to figure it out myself before i lose my shit." you scoff, patience on this line and your heart aching when you see your boyfriend with a black eye clearly hurting.

jay sighs, and then takes your hand in his as he looks at you. 

with one eye. 

because it's really that severe. 

"just promise me you won't get mad." 

"just fucking tell me already!" 

he pauses, and then sighs before just deciding to pop the secret. "it's, sunghoon. he found out." 

"what the fuck? are you serious right now?" you ask, in absolute shock that your brother would do this. 

"y/n, just calm down first— it's a given he got mad and—" 

"NO? IM NOT CALMING DOWN?" you scoff, yanking your hand off his grasp, stunned at how he's telling you to calm down. 

"y/n—"

"no, jay— listen, i am not calming down. that doesn't exist in my vocabulary at the moment because you can't fucking serious right now. sunghoon just gave you a fucking black eye and you're chill about it?" 

"well, at least you can brag that i took a swing for you." 

you sigh, running your fingers through your hair as you look back at him, not sure whether to get annoyed or to feel sorry that your brother gave him a black eye just because he found his best friend was fucking his little sister for an entirety of this summer. 

"I can't believe you're not being serious right now, i'm losing my mind jay— what if something else had happened? what if you got seriously hurt, like actually hurt? god, jay…" you whine, unable to look at him and the injury any longer so your eyes starts tearing him for him, it's as if the pain from the black eye he's feeling, you're feeling it too. 

"y/n," jay chuckles lightly, pulling you into a hug and rubbing his hand over your back, calming you down. "i'm sorry for making you worry, baby."

you hit his chest as you collected your tears, trying to not lose it even more that he's considerate of you, and making this about you instead of him, the one who got hurt in the first place. 

jay's light laugh vibrates through his chest making you pull away your head from his chest while still being in his hold with his arms around your body as you look up at him.

"don't worry, i'm really fine. it was expected for sunghoon to take a swing at me the moment he saw me at the arena, after hearing the news." jay, explains as he pats your head softly with a small smile. 

you sigh, the urge of crying finally leaves but rage takes over when you think of the audacity your brother has to do this. 

"im gonna fucking kill park sunghoon." 

jay pulls you back into a hug, laughing as he runs his fingers through your freshly washed hair. perhaps his fingers would smell like cherry and blossoms because of your conditioner, but he wouldn't mind when he smells like you. 

"you're so cute when you're mad." 

"don't get me started on you jay park, why didn't you punch him back! don't say you did, because i know damn well you didn't," your gaze flicks to his knuckles to find bruises but it was squeaky clean, and when you looked back jay is already looking at you dumb foundedly. 

"im not gonna punch sunghoon, y/n. not now, or ever." 

"will you just lose an eye to him then?" 

"if it means i can have his blessings to date his gorgeous sister." you glare at him with a slight pinch in his bicep that freaks him out. 

"you're so…" sighing you just decided to drop it, knowing jay and how he is, he'd probably figure a way outta this. "just, let's get you cleaned up AND THEN, we talk about this." 

you rush over to your bathroom and get the first aid kit under your sink, making your way back to jay. you make him sit on the edge of your bed as you get between his legs while he man spreads. 

the way his lips are turning upwards already makes you know what he's trying to do. 

"no funny business, park." you warn him, "or else your dick will be the one getting the first aid next." 

when you lean down towards him to treat his black eye, jay pecks you in a swift, catching you off guard.

"i said no funny business!" 

"this isn't funny business to me, i'm just kissing my girlfriend, is that funny to you?" 

"jay!" 

it was gonna be long night, for sure. 

WHEN SUNGHOON CAME HOME the next day, all you could see was red but sunghoon saw worse than red to see jay leaving your room right when was back home. 

"no fucking way— you're ridiculous." 

you and two turn around to find sunghoon staring at the two of you, baffled with his arms crossed. and that's when your blood starts boiling. 

"su—." 

"keep," sunghoon pauses, looking directly at jay and his treated wound, before turning to you with a scoff. "my s— your girlfriend out of this." 

"y/n." 

"jay, no." 

sunghoon just laughs dryly, shaking his head.

“a fucking lovers quarrel, this gotta be a dream." 

"sunghoon i'll fucking kill you if you say another word." 

"go ahead, kill me y/n. go and kill me, for your boyfriend that i clearly reminded you about thousands of times to stay away from— but sure, you chose to be an fucking idiot and still go against my words." 

"why should i listen to you!" 

"because im your fucking brother for god's sake and i know how my friends are that's why i told you to stay the fuck away from them!" sunghoon yells, throwing his helmet to the ground, making a loud thud echo through the house and jay pulling you behind him. 

sunghoon couldn't believe his eyes, did jay just shield you away from your brother. must be a sick ass joke he thinks you two are pulling.

"dude, keep it down." 

"keep it down? how do i keep it down seeing my own bestfriend go behind my back and date my sister that i clearly told him multiple times that she's off-limits?" sunghoon scoffs in disbelief, not seeming to calm down anytime soon either. "and my sister, betraying my trust and fucking around with my bestfriend? seriously?" 

"for god sake it's not a big deal, hoon! what's a big deal is the fact you gave jay a black eye, over this?" 

sunghoon rolls his eyes, and then glares at you and then jay. "surely it's not a big deal, you must've had so much fun making me a fool all this while right y/n? jay?" 

you open your mouth to speak up but jay beats you to it. 

"fucking hell dude, the only reason i'm holding back right now is her— stop being such an asshole and see the bigger picture, you're being an idiot." 

"an idiot? you wanna lose another eye, park?" 

"both of you, cut it out." you say, tears brimming up in your eye. 

"jay, just don't— and sunghoon, i'm speechless. you're being absolutely selfish right now, like you're not even thinking of me? about how i feel, about what i want— how is it just what you feel and what needs to go your way?" 

"you've never once thought about me, what i actually want— and the one time i can finally have it, you're out to ruin it? god, how much worse can this get? how far will you go to ensure i’m never happy, hoon?"

sunghoon immediately goes silent as he stares at you, heartbreaking in the process at tears streaming down your face. 

"at least, this time— just let me be it. whether i get my heart broken, or whatever that happens, i'll be glad i was happy even if it's for  a moment in summer. " you say, and wipe away your tears. you see sunghoon flinch to comfort you but he stops himself when he senses you not wanting to be near him anytime soon. 

moving aside from sunghoon, you take jay in your hand and lead him out of your house. when you head back to your room after bidding jay goodbye and convincing him you'd be fine after a lot of "are you sure?" and "i can stay, or you can come with me", he finally left. 

by the time you did, sunghoon was longer by the door anymore, you guess he had gone back to his room probably deciding to collect on his thoughts after the burst out. 

although it's supposed you make you feel relieved now that the cat is out of the bag, you somehow feel anxious about the outcome and how you're gonna have to cope with it by the time summer ends and you have to leave for college. 

"DUDE YOU'RE NOT LYING, RIGHT?" 

sunghoon stares at his friend who's looking back with shock and well, disappointment and the vague of tiredness shown on his face. 

well, who wouldn't be tired when they're woken up in the middle of the night by their friend showing up at their doorstep, looking like he had just murdered someone..

"yeah, i wasn't in the right state of mind." 

"no shit sherlock bro," jake  says, rubbing his hands over his face and then let's out another sigh. 

"well, my only advice is to accept it, hoon." he says, pausing, making sunghoon sit up from his laid down state. "i get where you're coming from and all with your brother instincts, and stuff— but on the brighter side, shouldn't you be grateful it's jay and not some other guy who you don't know?"  jake says, shrugging.

"like if you see, it's better that it's jay. you know him, he's your brother sunghoon— and you know you can count on him."

"you're not wrong." 

"i know, and besides, you can tell how much jay likes her, he doesn't seem to be letting go of y/n anytime soon, and most definitely not ever." jake says. "you gotta give him a chance, hoon— he's a great guy and y/n doesn't have a better option other than him, she truly likes him alot too." 

"wait—" sunghoon says, furrowing his eyebrows when it hits him. "YOU KNEW? ABOUT THEM?" 

jake blinks and before he could defend himself, he just decides to hear an earful from his friend, after all it's now or never.

"you were the only one oblivious to it— even heeseung knew something was up between the two." 

sunghoon groans, falling back onto jake's bed. 

"ah really? i feel like a total asshole now." 

"that's cause you are, now go talk it about with y/n. knowing her, she's probably contemplating to make it up with you as well, unless she's completely thrown off about you and this matter." 

sunghoon rolls over to the end of jake's bed and sighs. "you're right… i should've known better than to react like that." 

"oh yeah, and better make it up to jay too— for giving him an black eye." 

sunghoon looks up at jake and lets out a soft murmur that jake didn't bother to catch on knowing he complained about having to let go of his ego and speak to jay.  

"also, what are you doing up awake at 3 am in the morning?" sunghoon asks, furrowing his eyebrows at jake and jake only sighs in disappointment.

"i understand why you never caught onto y/n and jay." jake says, glaring at his friend with drowsy eyes. "you're a complete idiot." 

HEARING SUNGHOON come back home, you immediately rushed up to your room, nothing to hears thing from him— it's too soon to cave in, knowing how you've always forgiven sunghoon after fighting almost immediately, it won't be the same this time. 

not after assaulting jay and being a complete asshole about you wanting to be happy on your own. 

sunghoon 's hope flows down the drain when he hears your room door shut as soon as he enters the house, the frown on his face deepening. 

however just before he could go up the stairs he catches his friend in the kitchen, going to go up the stairs as well but stopping in his tracks when he spots sunghoon. 

the two stare at each other, in a awkward silence where jay wants to confront sunghoon but sunghoon contemplates whether he should speak first or not.

so he does. 

"can you spare me a second?" 

in his entire lifetime, this had to be the most awkward and silent situation he has ever been in with jay. usually he and jay would go on and off about just anything, they clicked like magnets but today— there was a different shift in the air considering the recent incidents. 

"w—" 

"h—" 

the two look at each other and immediately burst into laughs, stunned at how they both spoke up at the same time. 

"it's fine, you can have the first word dude." 

sunghoon feels the pile of guilt  in his stack up even more at how forgiving jay had sounded already. nodding, he sighs before speaking up. 

"i'm sorry. to start off, i'm sorry for everything, the other day." sunghoon says and jay nods, giving him a small comforting smile. 

"it was totally wrong on my side, for getting mad at you and… y/n. i didn't have a single right to be mad at what you guys wanted— and especially for….. that.." sunghoon says, scratching the back of his next awkwardly as he points at jay's healing bruised eye. 

jay just chucked, shaking his head at sunghoon's awkwardness in addressing the issue. 

"i understand why you guys his everything form me, seeing how i reacted that day, even if you guys told me i would've reacted the same— it's just, it's y/n." sunghoon explains, his heart aching at the same time. 

"she's just, i don't want her to end up hurt, by making the wrong choices— i care for her, i love her so much i just don't think i'll be sane if i ever see her hurting, hence the overprotectiveness over her had always been there, it's still there, but i'm putting down my ego this time." 

"i want y/n to be happy, and if this is what makes her happy, then that's what it is. i won't be oppressed to it— y/n's a smart girl, she knows what to do— but if, you hurt her man, consider us done, and you'll be receiving a gift from me, again." 

jay just stares at sunghoon and sunghoon cracks a smile. 

"just kidding, that's not gonna happen but, still— keep in mind if you ever hurt her, you'll face the consequences man." sunghoon says and jay just nod along, taking notes mentally to never hurt you, not that he intends to anyway. 

"on the other hand, i want you to have the best as well man, i want you to be happy and if my sister makes you the happiest man in the world then i wish you the best of luck!" 

jay laughs, patting sunghoon's back before he speaks up with a short smile as you get on his mind. 

"you're right, she does indeed make the happiest man ever— if happiness was a person, it'll be her anyday. " jay says and catches on sunghoon trying to not gag at the sappy shit his friend was spewing, as they both laugh it off. 

"and thanks, for understanding hoon. i'm sorry for going behind your back and having this all happened, it's wrong on my side too." 

the two of the just nod, finally taking in that now that the air is cleared, "so, we good now?" 

jay asks sunghoon, immediately being welcomed with a smile and huge hug, taking his homie into his arms. 

"congrats man, for bagging  the best girl out there for you." 

"thanks dude, now" jay pulls away, looking at sunghoon. "y/n's turn, talk it out with her." 

SUMMER WENT BY QUICKLY as quick as it started, because it surely felt like it was yesterday you and your friends were out of school and sunghoon, jay and jake being back in town. 

speaking of sunghoon, it's also been approximately a few weeks since he made up with you and like the saying goes, blood is always thicker than water. 

but, you didn't cave in as easily and quickly, but it was still quick and you missed your best friend and brother. 

“y/n." 

when you turn around to see your brother, your heart sinks and you move out of his way, walking out of the living room but he holds you back. 

"please, stop ignoring me." 

you scoff, looking at him and the guilt and regret is just plastered on his face that the hatred and pain in your just decreases. 

"what do you want?" 

"i want to talk it out, and apologize." 

you look at him for a moment before agreeing, having no choice but to settle it now. you didn't want sunghoon to go back to uni with unsolved and hard feelings between you both, and you parents were also telling you guys to sort it out as it was making every family meal time awkward and it was definitely making them frustrated. 

settling down in the living room, sunghoon speaks up. from a to z, he apologizes full heartedly and you hear him out until the end, not saying anything nor showing at sort of reaction until he was done.

"i don't expect you to forgive me soon y/n, but at least—" 

"im not forgiving you anytime soon— but i'm sorry as well." you say, looking down onto your hands on your lap. sweaty from the nervousness. "it was wrong on my side too, for going behind your back to screw around with jay and hiding everything from you despite knowing i was betraying you the whole time." 

sunghoon pulls you into an hug almost immediately, catching you by surprise but nevertheless you wrap your arms around him. 

feeling at ease almost immediately, this felt like home and you had missed it so, so much. 

"as you're happy y/n," sunghoon says, smiling as he hugs you tighter, finally making up with his sister, or so he thought. 

"im not forgiving you yet—if you're genuine, you can start with, getting me any of the jungkook pc's on my wishlist." 

"WHAT!" 

"do you want to be forgiven or not, hoon?" 

"fine…. i'll think about it." 

the hug from sunghoon seemed to have helped with how rough some parts of the summer has been and how rough it's gonna get in the following final week. 

the worst part of the summer has always been the ending. 

you had your graduation later on the week and at the same time, the boys were going back to campus the day after. 

as much as it sucks, life goes on and it shows how only in the end only memories are left behind, to be remembered. 

"are you okay?" jay comes up behind you, pulling you into a hug from the back. only a few minutes ago, the boy behind you had sneaked into your room in the eerie hours of the night where you hoped only the two of you were awake. 

because it was gonna be a hassle for jay to rush out just in case one of your parents or sunghoon walks in. 

and you didn't want him to leave either, you wanted to make up the rest of the summer spending the best quality time with jay. 

because the thought of losing him the moment summer ends, it just simply scares you. 

"you've been spacing out for awhile now," 

you turn around with a small smile that jay immediately realizes is not genuine, so he takes your hand in his. 

"something's up, what is it baby?" 

you bite your lip before you speak up, holding his hands in yours. 

"i was just thinking of what's gonna happen when this week ends." you say, sighing by the end of it.

"you're graduating."

"that's not it," 

"then? you're finally out of that hell hole?" 

"no, that's not it too…." 

"th—" 

"it's you. you're leaving." 

jay looks at you, blinking when he remembers that he's leaving by the end of the week as well. that's when he also realized how he won't get to hold you like this anymore, or kiss you whenever he wants to, or touch you, or have you underneath him, or take you out on dates, or hear your laugh, or see you. 

perhaps for the time being, you both don't know what the future has in store for the two of you. 

however, despite that, jay knows that you still can't help but think of cons of the summer ending. 

"and?"

you blink, looking at jay in confusion, not sure if he heard what you had said or not. 

"you're leaving jay," 

"okay, and? that's not going to change anything between us baby." he says, leaning down to your level, with a sweet smile. 

"i'm still going to love you like i always have, my feelings for you will never change, if anything— it'll grow even more, because i'm never going to ever stop loving you," he says. 

"but i get your point, we're gonna be apart, i’m gonna go back to campus and you're gonna start applying for university, we'll get busy and you're worried about falling off? right?" 

it's like he can read you like an open book, you nod at your boyfriend. 

"don't worry, we're not gonna fall off." he says, patting your head. "i'm gonna make it work, we'll make it work. even if i’m a million miles away from you— you'll forever be my favorite girl, the one i wanna hear my good mornings from and the one i wanna hear good job you did well, all my goodnight from  and most importantly," he pauses to kiss faintly on your forehead. 

"the only one i want to get i love you's from." 

you smile shyly, trying to not blush at his sweet talking. but it's true, what he said it's vice versa. he's the one you need at the end of the way, he's the one you want to kiss in the summer rain, he's the one you want to capture so much of memories with, he's the one you want to give a victory kiss to and most importantly, he's the one you want to tell all your i love you's to. 

with a small kiss back on his lips, you pull him into a hug, taking in his warmth as it radiates comfort and peace. 

"i'm gonna miss you so, so much, jay." 

"and im gonna miss and love you all the way from there, y/n." 

just like that, days went by and here you were, on standby in the dress jay had gifted you and the graduation robe in top as you try to not pass out from the nervousness. 

this was the moment you waited for your entire high school life, the times when you were sobbing over math work and wished how you wanted to graduate and leave the hell hole soon.

it was finally happening. 

"Y/N, Y/L/N." 

going up the stage, you saw your entire high school life flash before you as you were greeted by the principal and he handed you the certificate and scroll with congratulations. 

when you got off the stage you were immediately greeted by your parents, pulling you into a hug and cheering congratulations you finally did it. 

"save some for us!" you pull away and see wooyoung running towards you with his arms in the air as karina and seeun chasing behind him. 

your bodies collide as you guys do a group hug, congratulating each other while wooyoung was full on sobbing his eyes out from you're not sure either not scoring choi san or if he was proud of himself for getting through the entire hell of a high school. 

"bitchless and graduated!" 

"that's both a W and L but me too," seeing agrees with wooyoung and those two pull each other into a hug as they cry on each other's shoulders. 

karina and you laugh at those two, heart warm and fuzzy from the overwhelming emotions taking over. 

"we're finally done huh?" 

"yup, don't and over with." you agree, smiling at her. 

"you don't have to cry about the pending assignments anymore."

"and you don't have to cry about getting the worst partner for projects and having to do all the work." 

karina gasps and cheers. "FUCKING FINALLY  IM FREE FROM THAT SHIT!" 

you laugh at her overjoyed state, too indulge in it to not acknowledge the figure next to you, pulling you in a side hug. 

"HOON!" 

"congratulations loser." he says, and pulls you into a full hug this time, catching karina waving at you before she disappears into the crowd. 

"thanks," you say, pinching his bicep making him wince but he smiles at you in pure proudness. 

"you're all grown up now, time flies fast." 

"you sound like a hag hoon, and we're barely a few years apart…" you grimace, shaking your head at how sappy he was, but deep down it made you happy.

"still, my little menace is all grown up now.." he says, and smiles at you. patting your head he says, "im so proud of you, you made it y/n."

you two just smile, and hug once more before your parents call sunghoon leaving you in the crowd alone as your eyes look around for a pair of eyes you wanted to meet so bad. 

and when you do, you feel like your entire world just froze, and it was only the two of you, a moment only of the two of you, and only for you two. 

jay walks towards you, looking like the most beautiful person you have ever seen, a bouquet in his hand that anyone would scream in awe at how gorgeous it looked— but to you, nothing was as gorgeous as the way he was looking at you with so much love and the pretty smile on his lips. 

"i hope im not too late." 

you smile, giggling as you shake your head. "no, you are not. you're just in time, if anything." 

jay smiles back at you, and then looks at the bouquet in his hand, handing it to you. 

"congratulations, my beautiful love." 

you look at the bouquet, close up it looked breathtaking, but the one handing it to you was even more breathtaking. 

"thank you," you smile, taking the bouquet from him. 

"you look gorgeous today, y/n." he says taking your hand in his, smiling at you ear to ear as he admired your beauty. 

he knew his choice has never gone wrong, but seeing you in a dress he had gifted you, you made the dress look like the most beautiful dress in the world worn by the most beautiful girl ever.

"thank you— you look amazing as well." 

"well, it's to impress my beautiful girlfriend that i very much love wholeheartedly."

"oh really? she must be really grateful then," you pause, pulling him closer by his wrist. "for having the most beautiful boyfriend in the world as well." 

closing the remaining gap between you two, jay slips his arm around your waist, pulling you into a kiss where the two of your lips move against each others gracefully. 

connecting your fingers between his, as the two of you kiss is making the butterflies in your tummy grow ten times more. 

pulling away as you two catch after your  breaths, forehead leaning against each other.

"I'm so proud of you, your congratulatory gift is after the match tonight," 

"any hints?" 

"you and i both are gonna love it and have so much fun." 

 "YOU GOT THIS PARK. YOUR FINAL GAME FOR THE SUMMER." 

jay gives sunghoon a tight lipped smile, nodding as his best friend encourages him. 

"and aim straight for the finish line."  

"you know me man, i never miss." jay replies, chuckling dryly while his eyes still wanders around the stadium, feeling anxiously nervous. 

"you seem like you're gonna miss tonight though," sunghoon says, crossing his arms displeased. jay looks back at him and then sighs. 

"if you're looking for y/n i think she's prolly wasted— she and her friends are out partying and i d—"

"found her." jay says, a smile immediately growing on his lips. he winks at sunghoon before heading over to you. "catch ya later hoon." 

he had been worried all night, worried you wouldn't had make it in time for the match he wanted you to be at. after all, it's the final one for the summer, and it's the first ever match he's had a girl wanting to cheer him on for. 

you rush over to your boyfriend, cheeks flushed and hair bit of a mess from all the head bopping back at wooyoung's house, getting wasted from the after party. 

you were drunk, but sober enough to be aware of your surrounding yet still drunk enough to wanting to sob over how gorgeous of a man, jay is. 

with his disheveled hair blowing slightly in the wind, and cheeks flushed probably from the chill breeze of the summer, and how fucking hot he looked in his racing attire with an helmet held around his waist. 

"hey baby, i thought you were gonna miss out on me." jay greets, smiling brightly at you, his cheeks starting to ache already. 

you seemed to look so beautiful under the lights in the stadium, making you look as gorgeous as ever. with the way your cheeks were flushed, jay figured you were probably wasted, but cutely.

"i'd never, im sorry im a little late though," you giggle, "if i reek of alcohol im sorry, again— the after-party was crazy, i wasn't gonna get wasted but im not too drunk ei—" 

"you're so cute." 

"what?" 

"you're so cute my heart can burst," jay says, chuckling at you as he ruffles your hair and then cups your cheek in his hand. "it's fine baby, no worries. as long you're here, it's all that matters." 

"ahhh you're so!" you whine, hiding your face from how he was making you blush. jay laughs, pulling away your hand. 

"stop hiding your face," he says, giggling when your try to fight him back but it was to no avail. 

"jay, you're on next!" sunghoon calls for jay, waving at him and the pointing onto the tracks which jay nods and then turns back to you. 

"i gotta go," he says, and then leans down to your level, looking into your bright eyes. "cheer me on?" 

you smile, nodding and then lean forward and place a peck on his lips. 

"you got this, goodluck my baby." 

placing another peck back, jay pulls away and puts on his helmet, does some adjustment and heads over to sunghoon before getting into his car. 

you watch him for a second before heading over to the VIP section where jay said he had a sport reserved for you at. however when you got there, you weren't really expecting to see someone. 

"HEE?" 

"y/n!" he smiles, standing up and giving you a brief hug, then leading you to your spot next to him. 

"i wasn't really expecting to see you here," you say, chuckling as you tuck a strand of hair behind your ear as it was getting your view. 

"me neither, but hoon forced me to be here and i figured why not— it's my final night here, im leaving next morning back to the town." 

you nod, oohing him and then focus back onto the game when you hear the announcement of the race starting.

"1, 2, 3!" 

the entire arena lights up and going crazy, cheering for their choice when the racers are off the starting line, onto the tracks. you keep your gaze focused on jay's car, cheering him on along side with heeseung in the cube. 

sunghoon was cheering jay on even more, standing by the front with his arms crossed like he's the boy's coach. 

"are you cold?" 

y/n turns to face heeseung who's already taking off his jacket for you, catching you by surprise, not knowing heeseung had realized how you've been shivering slightly from the AC in the tube. 

"oh, uhm—" 

"just take it, you're shaking." heeseung says, and drapes the jacket over your body and you just give him a short smile and nod before the two of you are startled by the crowd groaning and sunghoon scoffing. 

"shit! man keep your head fucking straight! you're all over the place!" he grunts, displeased at the turn jay just took that erupted his fans and your brother. 

clearly he wouldn't have if he didn't catch heeseung putting his fucking jacket over his girl. it somehow seemed to have piss him off although he's truly aware that heeseung has no intentions of hitting on you, but you can never actually trust men. 

"fuck," jay breathes, taking a sharp turn overtaking the rest of the racers and the way his lips curved up into a smirk when he neared the end of the straightaway. 

the cheers in the arena got louder and you along with the rest were on the edge when another racer catches up to jay. 

"fuck he's gotta make it," you say, worried as the two seem to be on their extreme speed. nibbling on your lips, you watch the race, chest heaving up and down anxiously. 

jay's steps on the fuel, overtaking the other racer speeding past the finish line, his adrenaline fueling his heart to beat rapidly and on cue, the announcers announce the win as the entire arena cheer and fireworks in the arena go off. 

jay's grip loosens on the steering wheel as he waits for the voice to come in through his helmet headset. 

"thirty six seconds," catching onto that jay finishes a few cool-down laps and then gets off the track after stopping his car. as soon as he gets down he finds you running out of the cube, heeseung's jacket falling off your shoulders and for some reason it makes his ego inflate. 

jay takes off his helmet and tosses it off to a extremely happy sunghoon who's too busy to worry about his sister and his best friend about to make up right Infront of him. 

"YOU DID IT!" you cheer, running towards him and collapsing right into his arms, gripped right around your body as he twirls you around. 

time stands still and it feels like it's only the two of you, hearts eating against your ribcages, cheeks aching from how hard you two were smiling, adrenaline rushing through your veins, the night couldn't feel anymore alive and better. 

pulling away, jay is still holding onto you as you two giggle, looking into each others eyes. 

with a smile, you cup jay's face and pull him into the sweetest kiss of the entire summer. a kiss filled with so much of young love, so much of happiness, proudness, so much of joy— a kiss that's for sure to be remembered. 

with your foreheads leaning against each other, you smile at the extremely happy and smile jay. 

"the victory kiss. you did so well baby," you say, and place a kiss on his forehead, arms locked around his neck. 

"god i'm so in love with you." he says, and leaning in, kissing you with his arms wrapped around your waist, dress flowing in the breeze and the warmth radiating of your skin, this is home for him. 

"are you two gonna cut it out or?" 

"we're not," jay says, looking at sunghoon who's clearly not amused with the two of sucking off each others face as if he wasn't just jumping off the ground, too joyfull from his best friend's win. 

"wh—" 

"give me the box." 

"what box?" 

"the one i gave you earlier, idiot!" jay hisses and sunghoon nods in realization, fishing out the tiny box from his pocket and handing it to jay. 

jay takes it from him and opens it up, revealing a carved necklace with the two of your names and stars decorated around it. so simple yet so meaningful that it's starting to bring up tears in your eyes and you feel like you're completely sober now. 

"may i?" he asks, taking out the necklace and then you nod, fisting your hair and letting him put the necklace around your neck. 

"it's… beautiful." 

"yeah, like you." 

you smile looking up at him. 

"i got you this, cause i 'm leaving for now— but i'm always gonna be here with you." he says, touching the necklace around your neckline. "always." 

"im gonna make us work, im never going to stop loving you because like i said, im gonna love you till the end. there's nothing that's impossible for us, and i need you y/n." he says, rubbing his thumb against your cheek when he cups your face once again. 

"if the multiverse is real, i want to be with you in every each of it. and love you to the fullest in every each of it, i'll prove it." 

closing your eyes, tears fall down your cheeks. holding in your sob, you nod profusely, smiling at jay, the absolute love of your entire life. 

"i love you." 

"i love you too, and more." 

giggling, the two of your kiss once more and pull into a big hug. 

"so it's final?" heeseung judges sunghoon who seemed up have teared up as well, from how happy his both sister and best friend were in the moment, absolutely admiring them. 

"yup, it's final." 

and like jay said, you too— hoped that if the multiverse is real, you want to be with him, and love him to the fullest in every each of it. because you'll always chose him. 

your summer fling. 

you couldn't have asked for a better summer, and this one, has yet to be best so far. best memories with the best friends of yours, the best brother you could ever ask for— 

and again, the best summer fling— the best boy you love wholeheartedly, you could ever ask for. 

[powertaco]

What are your thoughts on WR development overall and your thoughts on WR being developed/made canon in V10?

Ugh I am going to ramble about everything here I can feel it...well you asked for it. I apologize for none of it, and if you all hate me at the end well I don't mind.

Volume 6 and before are pretty much great. They go from kinda at odds to tentative friends, learning to trust, and rely on each other, best friends, pining over one and other and V6 was a loooot of WR for us to feast on.

Afterward I felt like it got sidetracked. There could be various reasons for this (in hindsight I feel like Penny being given a way bigger role so her death could hit harder is to blame for part of this because realistically how long has Ruby known Penny? A month?)

Even if you don't like the ship they're supposed to be canon best friends so I take personal issue with almost all of volume 9.

I think it was sloppy writing that didn't move the story forward, and even though I don't care about Bees I feel like they still got shafted since they basically were forced to confess to move things along, and them doing so made them miss out on the sister/supposed friend and her problems, and only showcased the worst sides of the relationship.

For example Yang let's Ruby scream at Weiss but only moves to do something when Blake gets yelled at. Blake and Ruby still have...less dialogue than Ruby does with Ren I think etc.

Jaune was too present merely because his entire deal took away from Ruby's imo.

I've said it before but frankly Nora falling and learning who she is away from Ren so when she sees him in V10 she's ready for the relationship is far more satisfying to me narratively.

Leave Jaune above ground so he has to deal with the fact that he thinks he failed his friends and they all died and let him learn from that experience instead.

This also doesn't take into account that Jaune's one interesting change in 9 (being old) is taken away via random deaging (although I guess this makes deaging canon and hey young maria this is how dwr can still win! more at 11!)

Generally when characters go through a volume you want some sort of arc for them to go and change through. Weiss gets none of that. Out of all the characters nothing really happens to her, and she doesn't change at all. She's just sad about Atlas. Neat.

There's no time for it just like there's no real time for Ruby.

In Ruby's own words 'gotta help Jaune right?' and they do. Ruby removes herself from the census, which is how its framed, and they stop to...help Jaune.

There are a few moments that are WR'ish in 9. The Nevermore summon, Weiss believing in Ruby, and calling her name first etc, but overall Weiss's main job is to backslide.

I said it before but in the market Neo, the perfect assassin is after Ruby, and they split up. Weiss goes 'gross nosehairs', and ditches her best friend who she already knows by that point is NOT doing well.

This is not Volume 1. This Weiss is not that petty, and she's literally had to manhandle corpses. The fact that she wouldn't stay near her canonical best friend, and leader is asinine, and only happens so she can be alone to meet the smith.

Even if Weiss can't help Ruby fight Neo she's an extra pair of eyes (and Neo doesn't care how crowded it is in the market), and just being there for Ruby can help.

With all that said RWBY is big into symbolism. When WR are together in almost all the side spin off material it means something. Manga Anthologies has them making heart eyes and flirting like every other page. Ice Queendom was a love letter to WhiteRose (precious?). The movies, etc.

When their weapons rest next to each other on screen like the Bees do? It means something. When their flowers break ranks to be near each other (and Weiss's flower is the lily please note)? This means something.

Ruby can stand and jump from missile to missile but has to wrap her arms around Weiss to stay seated?

If Chibi continues it's pattern of predicting things in the main plot then the fact that Weiss is the woodsman in the fairy tale means a loooot as in several versions of that fairy tale the woodsman marries little red after helping her deal with the wolf problem (which varies by the story).

They're the knight and princess for each other. Ruby comes into Weiss's live turns it upside down, and helps her change. Likes her for her genuinely and wants to be her friend at the start. Through this she changes the world for Weiss, and helps her grow, and Weiss in turn helps Ruby be the leader she can be.

But yeah I guess that's just friends things and they should date some guys they've had like a half a dozen lines with instead? I don't get it really.

She and Oscar punch each other in the face, and they talk about strategy. Oscar has a younger kid crush on her, and Ruby is awkward because that's her headmaster in this kids head. Oh right he went in for a hug she ignored. Peak romance.

Jaune and Weiss have almost no interactions, and when he saves her at Haven her response isn't to be like 'omg i love you' it's 'keep doing it i have work to do'. Are they friends now? Sure, but that's about as far as it goes.

It remains that outside of group hugs the only person that's allowed to initiate contact with Weiss almost all the time outside of battle is Ruby.

Ruby knows when she needs help and will guide her away when she needs it, but other people don't' touch Weiss unless she does it first because they know she doesn't like it...except Ruby.

I have tried to look at other relationships for them, and I honestly don't see them as realistic.

Even Penny would need a lot more development to make it work. I get that it's cute and wholesome but they've known each other for again a month, and Penny just defers to Ruby.

Ruby needs a partner and equal not a submissive enabler. That's a relationship you have with a pet, and not a person.

Now if Maria were young and hot that'd be different...

Anyway...

Ruby and Weiss are partners. If they're allowed to have the much needed conversations they never seem to get, ie haven, ever after, Ruby's mom, everything, etc.

Then is it possible? Maybe. If they do go WR I suspect it'll be more hints, and slow ramp up until the final season.

I would expect it either on the eve of the final battle, or literally during it maybe as in Weiss gets feds up with waiting, and decides to do something about it.

More likely at this point is they'll both just end up single with maybe faint hints so fans can imagine what they want for it.

Would I prefer it if it was WR so the team can truly be family? Yes, but I don't even know if we're getting a volume 10 at all to be honest. The fact that it wasn't announced at the last festival, and we get an extended eppy, and then nothing after the last movie?

Not making me feel super confident. I could be wrong though. On many things. Except Young Maria.