#what’s pandora’s maiden name?

[yours-truly-henry-jekyll]

Dead Gay Wizards Headcanons. Part 1: Barty Crouch Jr

First of all, to hell with JKR. All my friends hate JKR. Our fandom is a diverse and tolerant place for Merlin's sake.

1. Intellectually precocious (learnt to read when he was about 3 years old), reads everything he can lay his hands on, so naturally very dirty-minded since much earlier than anyone else. Besides both lit and science are perfect for secretly name calling everyone around

2. As a child had to learn to play some classy musical instrument (I am not settled on violin vs piano yet). Still salty about not getting to play the guitar

3. Probably has impostor syndrome and completely ruined self-confidence because of his father's attitude towards him

4. Was actually all prim-and-proper until like year 4 or 5 of Hogwarts then snapped so hard the hell broke loose and we got the human catastrophe we know him to be. Still kind of apprehensive with swear words as he thinks he can possibly be overheard

5. "Help you with homework? Maybe I could, but bold of you to assume that I remember what the hell was our assignment"

6. Kins Mick Travis and Amadeus as in rock opera( I am more than sure he called Regulus or Snape "his Salieri" at least once) also maaaybe both Paul Jr and Florence Dombey from "Dombey and son"

7. Did a shit ton of insane, dangerous and questionable things purely on a bet or out of spite. Also greatly extended the list of things forbidden in Hogwarts because everything not explicitly forbidden is technically allowed and Barty would use every loophole to do crazy shit and go scot-free

8. Needs glasses (eyesight deteriorated because of too much studying) but he would rather subject himself to crucio or killing curse than admit he needs them. Why? Cause glasses for him are a part of the "prim-and-proper, people-pleasing golden child" image he wants to utterly demolish

9. Last but VERY not least. I do not really get the Italian headcanon for my bbg. Like where did it even come from? I personally ever since getting a bit more in Marauders fandom hc'ed him as being of East Asian (and more specifically Chinese) descent.

The whole thing with emotional negligence mixed with academic pressure, some really glorious study results and screwed mental health just screams so called "tiger parenting" to me (source: personal experience with author's own Asian family). And OK, not to go fully against the already established fanon he still has some Italian roots as "the family legend". And because of the films I also think he has some Scottish ancestry

[doorlene]

"marlene is the female version of siri-" imma stop u right there

[realhumanithink]

it's so crazy how fanon the marauders era is lmao. canon things we have arent even really canon anymore, like:

everyone's houses (dorcas and mary don't have a confirmed house and most ppl (including myself) hc barty to be slytherin although I'm pretty sure he's canonically a ravenclaw)

ppl's names??? (what is pandora's maiden name even its annoying to have to tag 3 different names just for 1 pandora (i'll do it anyways cuz i love her))

jily and xenodora (jegulus and pandalily, anyone?)

personalities (this is fair bc the fandom will always make more in depth character analysises and accurate characterisation than canon) (examples include james (arrogant bastard TM turned to sunshine of our lives), remus ('responsible guy' turned to unhinged smoker who likes sweaters, chocolate and david bowie), mary, ev, reg, everyone who wasn't in the canon content basically

no hate tho i fricking love that nothing is canon cuz so what if i hc streetstyle evan??? can u say im wrong??? no bitch u cant my man has been dead for like 40 years

[the-colourful-witch]

🌝🌼Pandora 🌼🌝

I love women. They are the most fun to draw. And Luna and Pandora...! They just flow right onto the paper, with no effort needed. Now, Pandora needs to come with a little bit of a disclaimer. I don't know a lot about her... I know a lot of people like to refer to her by the surname Rosier, making her related to Evan. This is wonderful and so creative. I love that idea. However, I like to leave some room for interpretation with Pandora. We don't officially know what her maiden name is and I want people to be able to spin their own tale. So here's Pandora. She is the mother of Luna Lovegood, she has the same poofy, blonde hair and a sense of self-made style she passed onto her daughter. I wanted her to look just as playful as Luna, but maybe a little more tough... I did get a few tips on Instagram from people who shared some of their favourite headcannons about Pandora, so I tried to use those in my design. Like, she's very maternal, but fierce when she wants/has to be. I liked that. Then, I added my own interpretation: that she's so clever and always living in her head, she doesn't really pay a lot of attention to what's going on around her, making her a bit clumsy and prone to bumping into things and/or tripping over her shoelaces, etc. Also, she's like a magpie. She sees shiny things and has to put them on, put them in her pockets, hang them on necklaces, or anything really. Final note: there was the option of making her very '70s hippie', as I've seen her portrayed before, which is very fitting. But ( :) ), I didn't love the idea.. so I did my own little thing. I hope you like it. ☺️ Until the next one! 🌞

[iguessit-sgrace]

creepy freaky pandora hcs?

anon how did you know 👀

my pandora is a FREAK

and we love her for it

her full name is pandora artemis rosier <3

she's twins with ev obvi. it was just her and ev for so long in the manor that when they went to hogwarts, it was hard to break their codependency. hence why pandora hung out with the pantheon (skittles) despite their different houses.

she was a hatstall! not a very long one, but the hat took a little while deciding between slytherin and ravenclaw. it stressed evan out to heck and back when she was put in ravenclaw instead of slytherin, which was where their family had been for centuries. of course, ravenclaw was much more acceptable than, say, gryffindor, but it wasn't slytherin.

unfortunately, ravenclaw was not kind to pandora. she was odd, both in her appearance and her mannerisms. she stared at people too long, didn't talk to anyone but slytherins, collected weird charms and hung them around her neck. the only ravenclaw she got along with was xenophilius ollivander (YES HE'S AN OLLIVANDER DEAL WITH IT (except he went by his mother's maiden name instead, which was lovegood)) and xeno was just as eccentric as she was weird. he wore radish earrings and bright yellow clothes and let her practice as many spells on him as she wanted. as she got older she got more eccentric than creepy, started laughing more, and becoming her bubbly, weird self instead of the creepy recluse she was forced to be in the manor. (i love her creepy self but let's be honest, pandora is a extrovert through and through and when she and ev were alone in the abandoned manor, she had no contact with anyone but the occasional house elf or their grandparents. she basically missed her social development and had to catch up in hogwarts, where everyone kept a clear distance from her.)

her patronus is a luna moth <333 but later on it changes to be a dragonfly like xeno's.

okay so appearance-wise, i see pandora two ways. in my head, she's either poc with white-blonde hair and brown eyes; or she's albino with purple eyes. i generally lean towards the first, but i can see her either way.

pandora calls xenophilius "phil" and it's the most hilarious thing ever because she managed to give the guy with the weirdest name in school one of the most generic names.

and yes i mw the seer pandora hc. however she doesn't mess with the widely practiced divination bc she thinks it's dumb. she does her own form of divination basically.

she collects insect wings and puts them on earrings. i said what i said, argue with the wall.

she made her own elf/faerie ears and wears them e v e r y w h e r e. it got to the point that she basically gaslit students into thinking they were natural.

she has a silver dragonfly locket that xeno gave her, which has a photo of them and luna. (it's on her neck when she dies and luna never takes it off after that).

her clothes are old fashioned and FUNKY

she walks so quietly that when she walks into a room nobody heard her and she kind of just appears and their fear fuels her

she collects seashells with xeno and paints them and they hang them in their house

during fifth year, when she finally starts coming out of her shell, she hangs out with barty a lot and starts hexing the other students with him. she just gets so angry and frustrated at her visions and the students and her family and the war and- (yeah, she kinda snaps).

during the night, she sneaks out into the forbidden forest and just dances in her nightgown in the moonlight. she's met more than a few unicorns while she's out there.

her favorite time of the day is 11:11. purely because of the numbers (she loves arithmancy). she tells the pantheon to make a wish every time she sees it.

omg how have i not brought up regulus yet???? tumblr i have failed you i'm so sorry

she and reg are best friends. closer than that, even. (she's his james, ykwim?) they met on the astronomy tower as he was sobbing over a letter sirius sent him. she just sat next to him and comforted him the same way she comforts evan: listing random facts. she started telling him all about the constellations and the science and history and mythology behind them. when she got to leo he told her his name.

they write letters to each other all the time, especially during the summer. one year, regulus finally manages to convince walburga and orion to let him stay at their manor (his parents had no idea it was abandoned: they assumed he was securing a friendship with one of the young rosier heirs.) that summer is the memory both pandora and regulus use to cast their first patroni.

pandora doesn't smoke cigarettes but she does smoke weed. almost every time that she, barty, and xeno are together they're stoned.

xeno was her first and final love, but there was a time that she couldn't keep her eyes off of the beautiful redheaded girl with eyes like emeralds. and there was a time that the beautiful girl would meet her eyes, smile, and look away.

she collects river rocks and old keys and insect wings and music boxes that are out of tune and crystals and flowers and seashells and anything she can get her hands on.

her familiar is a white cat named luna. and yes, luna lovegood is named after the cat luna.

she helps regulus with the horcruxes once he discovers them. they fake their deaths (only xeno knows they're alive) to hunt and destroy them.

her singing voice sounds like aurora and no i will not be taking criticism. apple tree is literally about her and regulus!!

she had a miscarriage shortly after luna was two. she was supposed to have a boy named caelum (who would be barty and evan's godson) but she lost him in the second trimester :(

she and xeno take his mother's maiden name because neither of them like their families.

this isn't technically about pandora but i had to put in that barty calls luna "lunatic"

ahh my girllllll

she's so weird and loveable <3

[aithusarosekiller]

I find it so bizarre when people are so aggressive about not liking the Pandora Rosier hc

Because we actually don't know who her family were

So why does it matter?

Saw someone yesterday say 'Pandora is not, never was, and NEVER will be a rosier' (this is word for word) but like...why does it matter? Whatever maiden name you give her is a hc anyway I don't really understand why it's such a big deal

Like I've read people who've made her a rosier, an ollivander, a lestrange, a malfoy, given her a muggle family, kept lovegood, refused to give her a last name, etc. and I'm fine with all of those interpretations so I don't get why people get so aggressive about that one? Like what's so bad about it? What makes it worse than the malfoy hc?

[tequiilasunriise]

"Blake, are your parents dating my mom?"

"...Meow."

@min3nc's post about Snowleopard ripped open the Pandora Box that is some of my headcanons about this throuple (and the subsequent Bellaschneeblings interactions in my post here) so sit tight y'all this list is gonna be long because I absolutely adore this healthy bi4bi4bi poly pilf couple that foils whatever the fuck Divorce Mcgees Summer, Raven, n Tai had going on (don't get me wrong, I adore str-crossed lovers, especially whatever the fuck Rosebird had, but cmon you could power a small nation off of their Divorce Energy alone)

-They have zero in-canon interactions but the thought of Willow slowly healing and learning to love again from two characters shown to be incredibly sweet and patient and understanding and oh so gentle and tender and earnest? Guys this alone should sell you on the ship like!! LIKE!!!

-WILLOW HEALING FROM HER ABUSIVE MARRIAGE TRAUMA WITH THE HEALTHIEST COUPLE!! GHIRA AND KALI TAG TEAMING TO VALIDATE AND SMOTHER THE SHIT OUTTA THIS ENDEARING MILF WITH SO MUCH LOVE AND SUPPORT!!!

-Takes a deep breath. Wowie. Do y'all get it though do y'all understand the vision?

-I need me vulnerable Willow asking the Pilfadonnas fer parenting advice and the pair to be more than happy to help their girlfriend just so eager to help!! They're so reassuring and tender with her, making sure she doesn't feel like a terrible shit fer asking fer help about this like, "Oh, oh sweetheart. You've been through so much, and it's a good thing you're fighting fer your second chance to be the mother your children need and deserve. It's alright, darling, we're right here with you."

-Furthermore, Willow would feel so much guilt eating at her for her ex-husband's crimes against the Faunus as a whole and the Pilfadonnas, the leaders of the Faunus themselves, would help talk through her guilt and affirm that Willow is not to blame fer bullshit Jacques pulled and help her with the process of finding a good therapist like like like!!! There's so much shit here guys!!!

-"It was by marrying me that Jacques gained access to the resources tied to the Schnee name and carved out the world. I didn't do anything to stand up to him and stop him from ruining my family's name, and so by doing nothing I'm a part of his sins."

"....Babygirl we love you so much but there's SO MUCH wrong to unpack here."

-Also Willow deserves to be bisexually panicked by two hot cat people bc I said so she just deserves okay trust trust trust

-Anyways, the Schneeblings are mad sus of the Pilfadonnas at first because they ALLLLL know what kinda abusive bullcrap their mom went through in her dead marriage with Jackass Schnee but all eventually coming around to really love Ghira's and Kali's seemingly endless unconditional love (Weiss was the quickest to adapt, then Winter, and finally little Whitley)

-The Pilfadonnas are so sweet and loving to their new kids and see 'em as their own straight up but don't pressure any typa connection and respect the Schneeblings so much like, "I would prefer just Kali, but if calling me Ms. Belladonna makes you more comfortable then go right ahead sweetheart" LIKE THEYRE JUST THE BEST STEPARENTS EVER SO MUCH VALIDATION AND PATIENCE AND SWEETNESS!!!

-"Chieftain Ghira, sir, it's good to see you."

"Winter, while I won't stop you from calling me by that title if that's what makes you the most comfortable, you don't have to be so strict with yourself. There's no need to address me like you're a military subordinate, sweetheart."

"...I would die for you, sir."

"Oh! Um! I'm very grateful for that, but, uh, let's also not huh? Wouldn't want you dying anytime soon ahahahaaa."

"You're right, sir, the Maiden powers should not be so carelessly tossed around."

".....Alright so we're going to go find you a good therapist and start working on your sense of personhood-"

-The Pilfadonnas introduce the concept of therapy and healthier coping mechanisms to all of the Schnees REALNESS

-"But OP wouldn't Weiss already have learned that from her super supportive friends?" Weiss' found family is incredible but healthy coping mechanisms are NOT part of that package deal holy shit hypertraumatized child soldiers left and righttt baby

-Anyways, one time Whitley slipped and accidentally called Ghira "Hey dad-" and everyone FROZE before Whitley rushed his question and then ran the f u c k off as Ghira started wiping tears with Kali holding him close and Willow being so emotional at the her son finally has a solid, good father figure in his life oMG HES STARTING TO ACCEPT THE PILFADONNAS!!!

-Eventually, the Schneeblings graduate to calling the Pilfadonnas just Kali and Ghira (and Blake calling Willow by her first name was already established back when she was crashing Schnee Manor in V8 so we chilling) but Whitley, oh my heart, sometimes slips with a 'mama' or 'dad' to his stepparents and down the line he even stops getting embarrassed over it and GOSH does it melt the Pilfadonnas' hearts everytime he calls 'em that it doesn't matter if it's the tenth or the hundredth time they're sosossooo soft

-One time Weiss was practicing her fencing stances and didn't realize the Pilfadonnas were watching her, and then when they started to praise how amazing her swordsmanship is? Babygirl actually starts to cry a little because it was always, "You need to be faster, Schnees aren't supposed to be so slow" and "What would your grandfather say if he saw such sloppy forms? Again!" and never, "Oh, Weiss, honey, you were wonderful out there! You must have trained very hard to be so good!"

-If you give any of the Schneeblings a fucken shred of unconditional praise they will crumple faster than a stale cookie. On a daily basis, Weiss jokes and asks Blake how the FUCK did she not end up more well-adjusted (she knows about the bullshit with Adam but Weiss also knows that Blake is aware she's just messing around)

-So we've established some headcanons of the Schneelings interacting with the Pilfadonnas, but hear me out awkward as fuck Blake and Willow interactions bc Willow has NO IDEA how to interact with her daughter's teammate turned stepdaughter???

-Because, you know, "Oh uh hey my ex-husband exploited and abused the shit out the Faunus for years on end and you were one of the people heavily affected to the point where you, as a literal child, turned to a life of vigilante terrorist justice as a form of fighting back for your own basic rights"

-Blake, like her parents, completely understand that Willow had nothing to with Jackass' cruelty and instead gives her new stepmom an easy smile and starts talking small talk about Weiss' adventures with Team RWBY and!! Yeah!! Willow genuinely wants to know what's been going on in her daughter's life since she was so absent from it during her alcoholic days

-The pair bond over a shared loved of Weiss, and at one point Willow says, "If it isn't overstepping, can I just say I am truly fortunate that Weiss has someone like you in her life to support her" and Blake chuckles softly and replies, "It wasn't easy at first, but yeah, I'm glad she's in my life too" AND ARGAGRGRHRH THE BONDINGGGG

-Speaking of bonding, imagine the Pilfadonnas vibing with Klein and bonding over tea together, and seeing their adoptive dad figure Klein vibe with their new steparents may or may not have sped up Whitley and Winter warming up to the Pilfadonnas justttt a litttttlleee

-When Kali and Ghira see their stepkids flinch at loud voices or innocently raised hands, when they notice the low self-esteem Winter still carries or Whitley's facade of maturity so that adult figures actually acknowledge him, in front of the kids they're very respectful and apologetic of accidental triggers without being patronizing, but when they're alone? Straight fucking murder in their eyes. The Pilfadonnas are fucken e n r a g e d they're fucken seething because how dare Jackass Schnee hurt these sweet kids so fucking much

-They make sure neither the Schneeblings nor Willow are around when they let out their furious vents to each other absolutely slandering Jackass' name with clenched fists and bared fangs because they don't want their anger to trigger anyone but yeahhhh. Yeah, if Jacques is still out there we're adding two bisexual cat pilfs to the waiting list fer ripping his head off

-ANYWAYS, on a lighter note, can y'all imagine the Belladonnas are vibing and purring together all comfy and shit and the Schnees see them and are like, "Shit man they're so HEALTHY and FUNCTIONAL what the HECK??"

-Blake groaning, "Dadddddd!!" when her dad pulls up with family albums to talk about his precious daughter's childhood and, "Not you too mom!!!" when Kali excitedly joins in. As Blake is play wrestling with her parents to get the photobooks away, the Schnees are just witnessing this in various levels of amused but also kinda like, "Damn wow is this what a healthy family's supposed to look like dannggg that's crazzzzzyyyyyyyy"

-Vacations to Menagerie where the Belladonnas playfully make fun of their sunburnt as all hell white family members, and even though some Faunus are wary of the visiting Schnees, others are more open to giving these guys a chance and hey!! Turns out the SDC is actually going to be a good company after the shit Jacques Schnee pulled. Imagine the healing between Faunus relations and the Schnee family name when Willow and her kids pull up to help wherever and however they can

-I'm just saying family dinners would be so healthy and healing fer Willow and her kids after years filled with so many isolated, lonely, suffocating as hell dinners when Jacques still walked these halls. Instead of stiff etiquette and barbed questions throw their way by a spiteful bitchass with a clip-on tie, there's warm laughter and jovial banter thrown about; genuine inquires about their day/interests that lead to invested conversation and freely given praise; large, beaming smiles from three dark color-schemed people who radiantly glow like the sun. It's like the Belladonnas breathed back life into the hollowed out Schnees who barely survived all the different ways jackass had hurt them, and that's just so fucken lovely to think about

[atlasdoe]

wait whats your current pandora hc

my current Pandora hc is her last name is Lovegood and Xenophilous changed his last name to hers (i hc him as a greengrass)

I've never liked the hc of Pandora being from a dark family because I don't like the box it puts her in. Like if she's a Rosier or Lestrange or Malfoy then she has to have the story of leaving her family and going against their values which is something we've already seen be done with almost all of the Black cousins and i kinda like the idea of the Blacks being the only ones to be doing this during this time. It adds more tension ig if they're the only family with this "problem"

(also ik that her being Evan Rosiers twin is really popular but it would never work for me mostly because I hc Pandora to be a year above the marauders and for Evan to be in the same year as the marauders. I do like the Slytherin Skittles and I do hc Pandora and Evan to be friends but i could never see them as siblings)

I used to see Ollivander be used for Pandora back when she first started to become popular and the discussion of her maiden name began and at the time I didn't like it (idk why i think i just wanted a name we didn't already know) but now it's making a lot more sense

The only thing we know about Pandora is that she died while experimenting with spells and that this was something she did a lot and deemed it safe enough to do it in front of her nine year old daughter. Pandora being the daughter of a wand maker is just kinda making sense to me right now

(tho i will need to go rewatch/read that part in deathly hallows where Luna and Ollivander are both taken by death eaters to see if there are any crumbs i can use as interpretations of their possibly (great?) grandfather/granddaughter relationship)

I may keep the Xenophilous hc because i've been building his relationship with his cousins (Florence and Sebastian Greengrass) (both kinda cannon. Florence we don't know her last name and Seb is Daphne and Astorias father)

I've seen some people hc that Pandora and Xenophilous came up with the name Lovegood together and I kinda like that so i may go there.

but yeah i may do a poll because that's what i always do when i can't make a decision but either way i would love to hear any opinions or thoughts on anyone else's Pandora hcs

[ellecdc]

Sorry if you already said this but do you like Panlily (Pandora x Lily), Dorlene (Dorcas x Marlene) and Evanreg (Evan x Regulus)?

And you like the Pandora Rosier/Evan and Pandora are twins hc?

Yes to all of them!! I personally prefer pandalily over marylily, but I don’t actually have any reasonings for that, perhaps other than I’m obsessed with whimsical characters and think the pairing between whimsical and strong headed characters might be one of my favourites. Dorlene is canon to me? Like I’d never consider either of them with anyone else idk. And Evan x Regulus is neither here nor there for me but I don’t mind it

As for the Pandora headcanon, it DEPENDS what era I’m reading. When I’m reading the marauders era, I prefer the Rosier twin headcanon. When I’m reading the golden trio era (or even just canon), I love the head canon of pandora’s maiden name being lovegood and Xenophilius taking her name after being ousted by the Malfoy’s (being Lucius’ brother) making Luna & Draco first cousins

[the-emeralds-incorrect]

I actually love the fact that we don’t have Pandora’s canon maiden name because it gives up so much free reign over it. She can be a rosier, Evan’s sister, Lestrange, which still ties her to the pureblood culture she escaped, maybe she was always a Lovegood and xeno was the one to take her name? I’ve seen her be an Ollivander, and I love it because we need to know more about this family (I also love non canonical wandlore it’s always fascinating to hear what ppl come up with). I think I saw her as malfoy once which would make Luna and Draco close relatives and i think it could be fun? Interpreting characters we know nothing about is this fandom’s specialty and the different backstories we give her shape her character is so many different ways. I love her sm

[howlingday]

Well, since you've done DBZA, you've opened a Pandora Box of ideas, but for your sanity, I'll only choose a few:

-Tien Kikoho against Cell or any scene that involves two. Cell could be Cinder while Tien could be Winter.

-Cell's Perfect Song with Cinder singing it.

-Nappa 'Are we there yet' with Sun being Nappa and Blake Vegeta or the return of Ghost Nappa with Ghost Vegeta.

-Goku and Vegeta talking about the Spirit Bomb against Buu or Vegeta insulting Goku for not grabbing Gohan when Buu exploded the Earth. Ruby and Cinder could be those two respectively.

-SSJ2 Gohan's red flag. Yang could be Gohan and Goku could be Raven in this case

You dare challenge me with DBZA? Foolish... You've yet to witness my true power, and you still beg for annihilation. Very well... WITNESS OBLARITY! ...You know, like oblivion and hilarity and- Oh, forget it! Here's RWBY as Dragon Ball Z Abridged.

-------------------------------------

Winter: NOT YET!

Cinder: Hm? Oh my god, it's Winter! What, was Jaune busy?

Winter: GRR!

Cinder: Come on, sweetheart. You can't be serious. With your power scaling? You're barely a maiden! You're not a wizard! And you're certainly no Silver Eyed Warrior!

Winter: Yeah? Well, you know what?!

Winter: FUCK POWER SCALING!

Winter: FUCK SILVER EYED WARRIORS!

Winter: AND FUCK! YOU!

Winter: WEIßER WINTERTOD!

Cinder: Aw~! How cute~! She named-

Cinder: OH SHIT!

=========================

Cinder: (Tosses away eyepatch, Flexes every Maiden power)

Cinder: M is for Momentous; this time you will rue~! Cinder: A is for Annihilation of all the hope you've held to~! Cinder: I is for Immolation, which all will come to know~! Cinder: D is for how DICKED you'll get, now allow me to really show~! Cinder: E is for Eccentric; just listen to my song~! Cinder: N is for No other maidens, which I've wanted for so long~! Cinder: Me is for who I fight for, in case you couldn't tell...

Cinder: I'm the one true Maiden, Cinder, and I'd like to welcome you... TO HELL.

=========================

Sun: Are we there yet?

Blake: No.

Sun: Are we there yet?

Blake: No!

Sun: Are we there yet?

Blake: NO!

Sun: Are we there yet?

Blake: Yes.

=========================

Salem: (Ghost) 'EY~!

Ashe: Wait... Auntie Salem? What are you doing here?

Salem: So, funny story, it turns out liquor and porno don't mix well after taking viagra! But it's my fault. Should've stuck with playing one hand pocket pool.

Ashe: I don't get it.

Salem: Ask your Mom when you get the chance.

Ashe: But she's dead!

Cinder: (Ghost) The fuck am I doing here?

Salem: (Gasps)

Cinder: Oh no...

Salem: CIIIIIIIIIIIINDEEEEEEEEEE

=========================

Mad Witch Neo: ...

Ruby: Uh, so she's still stronger than the both of us, right?

Mad Witch Neo: (Howling, Beating her chest)

Cinder: ...And almost as dumb.

Ruby: Got any ideas?

Cinder: Well, the older version of Ashe is still stronger, so where is she?

Ruby: She's... back in Remnant. So, you know... Dead.

Cinder: Wha-?! THEN WHO DID YOU GRAB?!

Ghira: Hey.

Ilia: Hey.

Cinder: ARE YOU KIDDING ME, ROSE?!

Ruby: I had to grab Ilia! Come on, she's the guardian of the relics now!

Cinder: The little god, I get, but why that fat-headed coward?!

Ghira: I can hear you, you know!

Cinder: Good! I want you to!

Ruby: Look, I panicked, so I grabbed the relics, okay?

Ilia: Oh! So that's all I am to you, am I?

Mad Witch Neo: (High-pitched howling, Runaway train engine piston motion)

Cinder: Great, so we have the relics, so now we just have to live long enough to use them.

Ruby: Oh, come on! I'm sure we'll be just fi- (Strangled by Neo, Thrown around)

Ghira: ...I see you for more than what you carry.

Ilia: Your daughter is a two-timing slut!

Ghira: Just like her mother...

=========================

Raven: Uh... You make a very good point-

Yang: Then shut up and put on your poncho.

Yang: YOU'RE IN THE SPLASH ZONE.

Raven: ...Is that also a red flag?

Qrow: CRIMSON.

[ap-kinda-lit]

Behold my Yugioh OC!

Amunet

artwork done by the ever so talented @la-caja-de-pandoras-art 💖 (thank you very much!!)

Daughter of the moon, disciple of Khonsu, radiant maiden of darkness, and the Pharaoh’s love

In Ancient Egypt, Amunet was a priestess to the moon god Khonsu and served at one of his many temples. Originally, she was born and raised as a devotee to the Greek goddess Artemis and grew up in one of the goddess’ cults. Amunet’s childhood consisted of training, frolicking and sports, and dancing in Artemis’ name. But this childhood came to a dramatic end when Amunet’s cult was destroyed during a military campaign and she was left on her own. She was soon found by the high priest of Khonsu, who right away recognized immense spiritual power in her, and thusly took her in. From then on, Amunet grew into a living saint. She devoted her life to serving the moon and all it stood for. She herself was essentially a human incarnation of the moon: radiant, mysterious, pure, and powerful. She was a master archer, a healer to the body and soul, an oracle, a medium between this world and the next, and an exorcist of malevolent forces. It was rumored she was a child of Khonsu himself or a deity in disguise.

In actuality, Amunet balked at these rumors. She was far from what people thought her to be. Beneath her serene and flawless exterior and the isolated life she lived, Amunet was a free-spirited, happy-go-lucky young girl with strong emotions and opinions yet also an open heart and mind and an overall love for the world around her. She saw beauty and wonder in anything and was able to find a bright side in even the grimmest situations. She could be strong-willed and have a fiery temper, which came out most of all when someone was being hurt or injustice was done. Being energetic, she loved athletic activities like swimming and archery and, like most priestesses, she dabbled in singing and dancing. Amunet also loved games, her favorites being the ancient board game senet as well as riddles and puzzles, and she was very proficient in them thanks to her wit.

Amunet was selfless to the point she put others above her, even at her ownn expense. She could be very shy and, in spite of her reputation, she had low self-esteem. She also could feel lonely and isolated. Nevertheless, Amunet was content as a servant to the gods and helping others. She had no thoughts of falling in love nor did she expect to, which was why she took the vow of chastity, swearing off marriage and relationships in the name of the gods. At the end of the day, few realized that Amunet’s true power lied within her large, pure heart.

Then came the day she met the young pharaoh Atem. The two met when Amunet treated him after a grueling duel. Right away they clicked. Atem was fascinated by the young priestess and Amunet developed an attraction to him. It began with stolen glances and coming up with any excuse to be around the other. Atem became a patron to the temple of Khonsu (the very one Amunet just so happen to serve at) and the two frequently shared walks and game sessions (which were long and exciting due to the two being quite the match) and Amunet helped him hone his archery skills. It wasn’t long before a secret correspondence of coded letters and hidden rendezvous were added. A passionate love affair struck up.

Unfortunately, it all came to a tragic end: the true nature of Atem and Amunet’s relationship was either known or at least suspected by those closest to them, including Aknadin. He was horrified by the relationship and saw Amunet as a threat. She had to go.

Amunet died in her pharaoh’s arms. Needless to say, Atem was devastated. Amunet was mummified and entombed beneath a statue of Khonsu near the temple she served. Not long after, a small oasis formed there and grew beautiful lotuses. Strangely, the lotuses there would stay bloomed in the moonlight, rather than retreating like their kind normally do.

[sparkedblaze]

sparky’s unpopular opinion that has been on the mind for many a night (explanation under the break so i don’t have a long post taking up your feed):

all the young dudes has done immense damage to the marauders fandom

don’t get me wrong. the fic is good. you can tell that the person who wrote it put their heart and soul into a fic about something that they loved. you can see every little fun detail they put into it.

the story isn’t exactly my thing. but when you’re creating with that much emotion and passion and love? it’s hard to not fall in love with it.

i get that

but when i get hate dms on instagram telling me that my portrayal of pandora lovegood is wrong because i made her maiden name something that isn’t rosier, or how i write peter (as a person with both good and bad and not just a written off follower of james and sirius, which is apparently insane to people), it kind of puts the fic in a dark light.

i’ve read a decent chunk of it, but i couldn’t make it through because of how the author writes some of the characters. most notably peter, as he’s written out of most scenes via detention or girlfriends, even though the thing that made his betrayal so heartbreaking was the fact that he had been close to james and lily.

what made the betrayal so harsh and unbelievable was him being good friends with them. the world believed that sirius black, james’ best friend, betrayed him. because they’d both been friends with him.

and to be told that my interpretations of any said characters were wrong because of a fanfiction?? it’s just wild, and makes me incredibly upset.

harry potter is a massive fandom, and the marauders fandom is a sizeable subset of that fandom! so to say that one person’s interpretations are just Right because you like their fic is wild.

[avatarrecom]

Top Gun AU: what would their callsigns be

A/N: What callsign would you give them?

Three potential callsigns for each Recom.

🌍 Recom Miles Quaritch

Zuko - Because he’s always talking about honor (also, they both have facial scars)

Dorothy - “We’re not in Kansas anymore” It’s the first thing he said when arriving on Pandora afterwards it became his welcome speech.

Scar - Both because of his facial scar and his similar personality to the Lion Kings Scar.

😈 Recom Lyle Wainfleet

Viper (Very Idiotic Person) - once asked “Why is sandwich meat round when bread is square?”

Banjo (Busted Ass Naked Jacking Off) - no explanation needed.

Panzer - He’s built like a fucking tank.

🍬 Recom Z-dog  (I know that Z-dog is technically a callsign of sorts but I wanted to include her)

Bubblegum (bitch) - Because she’s always chewing gum.

Dentist - She needs to go to the dentist a lot because her chewing gum habits are bad for her teeth.

Iron Maiden - Listens to Iron Maiden almost everyday.

🥽 Recom Walker

Grandma - Last name Walker, referring to old people using a walker.

IRIS (I Require Intense Supervision) - has a habit of doing stupid things (especially when tipsy/drunk).

Bambi killer - accidentally shot a deer during targeting practice.

😎 Recom Mansk

Rico - Intense, and constantly armed to the teeth, like the psychotic penguin from the Madagascar movie.

Cheese - Someone thought his name was Mac. So, “Mac and Cheese”.

Hugger - Always wears his sunglasses, so people joke that he’s always hungover. Also, very much hug shaped, legend says someone thought hugger meant that he himself loved hugs, the guy ended up in the infirmary. 

🧯 Recom Prager

Kasper - Deadly silent, always pops up in different places and scares the shit out of everyone.

Rambo - Because of the bandana.

Kord - Spelled backwards, always stating random facts. No one knows where he gets his information.

⚕️ Recom Ja

FORD (Found On Road Dead) - Got drunk and passed out on the trainingfield.

Waldo - Got lost on a training mission.

Utah - Utah is the second-driest state in the country. The only thing drier is his sense of humor and conversation skills.

🧢 Recom Brown

Beagle - Kept 'bouncing around' like an excited beagle puppy.

Hash - Thanks to his last name being Brown.

Potluck - Was tested 14 times for drugs always came out clean but he smelt of marijuana every time he sweated (also a reference to hash brown)

📿 Recom Lopez

Siesta - Has a habit of falling asleep at bars when they’re drinking.

Pimp - Always at parties with a new girl on his arm.

Frodo - Once accidentally used his heirloom ring to propose to a stripper during a party in a stripclub when he was drunk.

⛓️ Recom Fike

ALF (Annoying Little Fuck) - because he’s the shortest recom.

Grumpy - Not a morning person, or tall. One of Snowwhite’s seven dwarfs.

Clepto - Always stealing when tipsy/drunk.

[trohpi]

my marauders era hcs

james

hes polyamorous & bi

absolutely enamored with lily & reg

the entire potter familys indian

looks exactly like euphemia but with fleamonts wild hair

refuses to use sleekeazy no matter how much his father begs him bc he says his hair adds character

actually really good in the kitchen and cooks for lily & regulus often (acts of service is his love language)

has the highest transfiguration marks of his whole year

sirius

genderfluid!!! her pronouns r she/he/they

hopelessly in love w/ remus

^^ extremely oblivious to that fact

fluent in french and hates it, tries not to speak it when he can

remus introduces them to muggle music and clothing which they immediately love

absolutely entranced by muggle movies and begs remus to take him to the theater every break

calls mcgonagall “minnie” to her chagrin

remus

pansexual & welsh

in love w/ sirius for years & thought it was unrequited bc hes oblivious as well

best friends with lily

secretly plans most of the marauders pranks

uses his prefect privileges for pranks

has study dates w/ lily, peter, & regulus

close with his mother

his father is gone a lot for work but they have a good relationship

peter

token cishet friend

scottish

gets embarrassed super easily

him & mary are really close friends

favorite subjects are herbology & charms, and he gets the highest marks out of the marauders in these classes

lily

bisexual & polyamorous

irish w/ vitiligo

her hairs more auburn than red red

dating james & regulus

her & mary dated briefly in 5th year

has a bit of a temper and is easily angered

way taller than all her friends but still wears heels cuz they look good on her so fuck what everyone else thinks

mary

shes welsh & yemeni

her real name is actually maryam

lesbian queen

thinks quidditch is dumb but goes to every game to support her friends

tells peter everything

fluent in arabic and welsh (her & remus like to gossip in welsh)

marlene

theyre genderqueer, pronouns are they/he

super close friends with sirius

^^ marls kissed sirius once and then quickly realized hes aromantic

in a qpr with dorcas <3 (before that they were quidditch rivals)

theyre gryffindors seeker

dyes his hair blonde religiously

theyre filipino & were adopted by their gay muggle dads when they were 3

didnt know they were magical until they got their hogwarts letter bc of the adoption

dorcas

polyamorous, pan, and ace

dating pandora & xeno my beloveds

in a qpr w/ marlene

her mom is pureblood, her dad is muggleborn & the ancient runes teacher

has an older nby sibling named aster

in the same year as the marauders

one of the slytherin beaters

regulus

1000% a polyamorous pan trans man

dating lily & james

first befriended lily in the slug club

best friends w/ pandora

fluent in french and embraces it, mumbles to himself in french and slips french words into conversation

originally forces himself to dislike the marauders bc they “stole sirius” but begrudgingly starts liking them

hits it off w/ remus bc of their similarly dark & sarcastic humor

the hat originally wanted to sort him into ravenclaw but he asked for slytherin

pandora

shes a brazilian muggleborn

bisexual & polyamorous, dating xeno & dorcas :)

wears super chunky jewelry and huge glasses

hangs in the kitchens with regulus and is very friendly with the house elves

in the same year as reg but in ravenclaw

loves learning about everything magical she can, including “fake” creatures like nargles and blibbering humdingers

lovegood is her maiden name, xeno took it when they married

alice

5th year prefect when the marauders were in 1st year

gryffindor quidditch chaser & captain until she graduated in 1974

friends with emmeline, frank, gideon, fabian, & bilius weasley

bisexual & dated narcissa for a few yrs until narcissa broke it off bc of her arranged marriage to lucius

her mom and dad are pieretta and florean fortescue, she helps them run the ice cream shop during summers

has a little sister named edith whose in a year above the marauders

very very short

[typingtess]

NCIS: Los Angeles Season 14 Rewatch:  “Flesh & Blood”

The basics:  Investigate a Navy wife fleeing the scene of her husband’s murder.

Written by:  Chad Mazero co-wrote “Internal Affairs”, “Revenge Deferred”, “Where Everybody Knows Your Name”, “The Noble Maidens” and “Pandora’s Box”.  Wrote “Tidings We Bring”, “Can I Get a Witness”, “All Is Bright”, “Diamond in the Rough”, “High Society”, “Murder of Crows”, "Overdue" and "Sorry for Your Loss".

Directed by:  Daniela Ruah directed “Russia, Russia, Russia”, “Lost Sailor Down”, “Pandora’s Box” (co-written by Chad Mazero) and “Live Free or Die Standing”.

Guest stars of note:  Pamela Reed returns from season 11’s “High Society” as Roberta Deeks, Bar Paly returns from “Of Value” as Anastasia “Anna” Kolcheck, Natalia Del Riego is back from “Game of Drones” as Rosa Reyes, Kavi Ramachandran Ladnier is back from the previous episode “Dead Stick” as NCIS Reserve Agent Shyla Dahr, Marnee Carpenter as Alice Morgan, Lauren "Lolo" Spencer as Ella and Rif Hutton as Navy Commander Albert Burns

Our heroes:   Work with an abused wife to find some explosives while working through some home issues.

What important things did we learn about:

Callen:  Waiting for Hetty to get married. Sam:  Worried that Callen is avoiding getting married. Kensi:  Feels like she’s not prepared for motherhood. Deeks:  Bad baseball game in June of 1990. Fatima:  Absent. Rountree:   Looking to put his Beale bucks to good use. Kilbride:  Not pleased with Deeks’s attitude about the Navy spousal abuse response.

What not so important things did we learn about:

Callen:  Orphan. Sam: Once again looking for a caretaker for Raymond. Kensi:  Hanging with Bertie, buying cleats with Rosa at the mall and negotiating teen angst. Deeks:  Owes Kensi for hanging with Bertie. Fatima:  Not around. Rountree:   Called “Shark Tank” by Shyla. Kilbride:  Not pleased with the Navy’s spousal abuse response in the cut scenes.

Where in the world is Henrietta Lange?  Don’t know but Anna wants her found so she can marry Callen.

Who's down with OTP:   Anna and Callen are trying to negotiate their way around a wedding date.  Kensi and Deeks are trying to negotiate their way around Bertie.

Who's down with BrOTP:  With the teams mixing and matching all episode, not a lot of BrOTP time but Shyla worked well with all.

Fashion review:  Callen starts the episode in a black running shirt and black shorts.  Wears a button down medium blue shirt for the rest of the episode.  Sam has a wine colored long-sleeve tee-shirt.  Kensi is in a white tee-shirt with thin blue stripes.  Cornflower blue long-sleeve tee for Deeks.  Rountree is wearing a light brown long-sleeve tee.  Kilbride is in his civilian uniform with a medium blue three-piece suit, pale blue dress-shirt, blue tie.

Music: Not today.

Any notable cut scene:   Finally!  As Rountree is packing up for the day, Shyla asks him if he wants to go out for some tacos.  He can’t – he’s meeting with his friend David Packer about his investment money.  Shyla asks him not to.  Understanding that she may be overstepping, she knows Rountree has a real fire inside after what happened with Jordyn and the LAPD.  The person Rountree needs to invest in is himself. 

As they leave, Sam is find a caretaker for his Dad.  The Admiral says that gets Sam a good night’s sleep.  The Admiral also thinks Alice Morgan deserved better.  The Admiral thinks maybe they should blow up the whole damn book on abuse cases.  Then promises to if Sam tells anyone he said that, the Admiral would make sure Sam didn’t get a good night’s sleep ever again.

Quote:  Deeks:  So it's, uh... June 30, 1990.  And my mom decides she wants to take me to watch the Dodgers play the Cardinals.  And I will never forget that day.” Alice:  “I don't care about sports.” Deeks:  “That's funny, 'cause I don't care about sports either.  No, the reason I remember it is because it was so hot.  Like, L.A. had been coming off this massive heat wave and I can still see the ice cream cone melting as it's being passed down the row.” Alice:  “Now you want to talk about weather?” Deeks:  “Actually, I do, because...that is the other thing that I can still see from that day, is my mom.  And she's sitting next to me in this 90-degree heat, except for the fact that she is wearing...she's wearing jeans and a long-sleeve turtleneck.  And she was covered up like that the whole entire summer.  Not that it matters, because she couldn't cover the bruises on her face.” Alice:  “Did he spare you, at least?” Deeks:  “No.   I mean, but I was a kid, right?  Kids are supposed to have bruises.  I'd just tell the teachers that, um...I got another fight in the playground.  What do you tell people?” Alice:  “I don't have anyone left to tell.  He made me push everyone away.” Deeks:  “Yeah, they do that.”

Runner up:  Rountree:  “Was all that true? About your dad?” Deeks:  “Every word of it.”

Anything else:  At night in a suburban neighborhood, a woman is frantically packing her things.  She gets a phone call from her father and tries to blow him off.  Seeing her in a mirror, her clothes are covered with blood.  Her father is recommending a Tom Hanks movie as she is trying to get him off the phone.  She tells her father she loves him as she tries to leave the house.  A man’s dead body is making it hard to open the door.  But she succeeds.

Callen arrives home with two smoothies.  He’s worn out which surprises Anna.  She ran for six-miles, he “bailed” after two.  Since the bagel place didn’t have bagels, he brought smoothies.  Anna wanted bagels before her job interview that day.  She also wants to pick a wedding date.  Every time of the year Anna mentions, Callen has a reason not to get married at that time.  She offers him an out when it comes to getting married.  He wants to get married, Callen assures her, just find the right time to do it.

At the Blye-Deeks home, everyone is running around as the day starts.  Rosa is missing her backpack.  When Kensi tosses it, Deeks walks right into the tossed backpack.  Rosa and Deeks review her latest assignment as they hustle to leave.  Deeks gets a phone call – it’s Bertie.  She’s been on the road for six months of “eat, pray and loving” her way across the country.  Deeks thinks this is all TMI.  After seeing “Nomadland”, Bertie rented out her apartment so she is going to crash at the Blye-Deeks residence.  She needs someone to be there to let her in.  Rosa really needs to leave for school so they are going to figure something out.

Walking near the gym, Shyla hears Rountree working out and quoting “300”.  He’s working on an ancient martial arts technique to strengthen his grip and arms.  When Rountree gets a text, he asks Shyla to look at his phone – they could have a case.  Instead, Rountree has a text from “Packer” who is talking about his pants being on fire.  Packer is a friend of Rountree’s from Quantico.  Packer is starting a clothing line and Rountree is a possible investor.  He’s looking to grow some of the money Eric left them all last year.  After what happened to Rountree and Jordyn, he's looking to invest that money into a growing business.  Shyla would have taken the Eric money and spent some time in Tokyo.

Sam has a call and so does the Admiral.  Both are unhappy with their calls.  Sam lost another caretaker for Raymond, NCIS is making Kilbride go through another round of approvals for expenses.  Cranky men in Ops alert.

The Admiral looks around an empty Ops and wonders where is everyone.  On the screen is the dead man blocking the door from the opening scenes.  He is Lt. Jeff Morgan, an intelligence officer working out of a DoD Task Force.  Morgan was stabbed several times.  There are real concerns because Morgan was part of a team developing software to integrate intelligence gathered by all branches of the armed services.  If an outsider or foreign government got access to that software, they’d have access all U.S. military intelligence.  Sam asks if there are any suspects – China, Russia, Iran or Alice Morgan, Jeff’s wife.  She’s was seen leaving the house at the estimated time of death. 

In the office driveway, Kensi and Deeks are arguing about who is going to help Bertie unpack.  Deeks is owed a favor by Kensi and he’s calling it in. She’s not interested in helping unpack all of Mama Deeks’s Michael Bublé fannish things.   Besides, Deeks should help his mother.  Callen arrives but isn’t interested in hearing any of this – he’s an orphan.  Deeks says that funny, Callen doesn’t agree. 

Sam joins the trio, the most we’ve seen of this foursome together in a while.  He's been working since 8AM and everyone else just arrived.  Callen and Sam are off to the boatshed to meet with Morgan’s CO, Sam would like Kensi and Deeks to join Rountree at the crime scene.  Sighing Kensi mentions she has some accrued leave Kilbride wants her to take so she’ll help Roberta, get Rosa from school and Rosa can meet Bertie.  Deeks tells Kensi he owes her. 

At the house Morgan household, Rountree found a locked laptop – Shyla is getting a warrant to get in.  Deeks is looking through some magazines while Rountree picks up the Morgans’s mail.  One magazine has expensive furniture.  Speaking of money, LAPD found a Rolex on Morgan’s wrist and a Lexus in the garage – this wasn’t a robbery gone bad.  Rountree is confused – a junior officer like Morgan doesn’t make Rolex money.

Deeks flips through Morgan’s credit card bills – they are big.  Since Alice Morgan didn’t have a job, the only way they could afford their lifestyle was if Jeff Morgan was selling military secrets.  Deeks sees that the credit card bills include electronic toll charges – an EZ Pass.  They can find Alice Morgan’s location that way.

In the boat shed, Morgan’s CO, Commander Burns, is not thrilled to be there.  There are cellphones for meetings like this.   He should be in his office dealing with the fallout from the tragedy of Morgan being killed and not sitting in the boatshed – a “Bubba Gump’s”. 

Sam asks about the software.  According to Burns, it tracks everything from emails between intelligence offices to weapons and ordnance use and supplies.  Morgan was doing data analytics for the team but a month ago, he started visiting weapon manufacturers to make sure their software would work the with military’s new software.  Burns really didn’t have much of an opinion of Morgan except he was a good kid.  With hundreds of men under his command, he really didn’t know much about him.  He remembers Alice Morgan was quiet and unfriendly.  Burns is done with Callen and Sam.  He’ll answer any other questions by phone – he has work to do.  Callen and Sam want to check into Morgan’s travel vouchers to see where he went and who he saw.

In Ops, Shyla was able to get into the locked laptop but most accounts were logged out.  She was able to get into Alice Morgan’s text messages – the laptop and Alice’s phones were synced up.  There was a confirmation code for a company called Home Connection – discrete vacation rentals.  Shyla finds Alice Morgan booked a home on Larchmont an hour after she was seen leaving her home the night before.

In Larchmont, Rountree is really impressed with the area.  Good investments homes, water views – Rountree is talking about investments when Deeks says “Alice Morgan” who he sees leaving the rental house.  Rountree says “Alice Morgan” which has the same effect of yelling “federal agents” since Alice starts to run.  After she throws a branch cutter at Deeks, Rountree gets her to stop as she’s climbing a fence.  She is armed but surrenders. 

In interrogation, Deeks is on the right side of the table while Rountree is in the corner.  Deeks is rattling on about the “Chose Your Adventures” books when Rountree says they have witnesses who saw her flee the scene of a murder.  Rountree and Deeks can sit with Alice in interrogation all day or they can help her.  Alice wonders where they were six months ago when she asked for help.  Deeks wants to know what happened six months ago.  Alice says she talked and talked and talked and nobody wanted to help.  She moves in her chair, making sure her jacket and long sleeves cover her arms.  An obviously bothered Deeks wants to take a break.  He’s getting everyone coffee.

Callen and Sam return to the office.  Cheryl, Raymond’s latest caretaker who is very into birds according to Callen, quit when Raymond started talking about war pigeons.  Mentioning that Raymond’s previous caretaker quit when he wouldn’t ride in her Mazda – Raymond likes American-made cars – Callen thinks Sam is avoiding the real issue.  Sam loves this conversation because Callen is all about avoiding issues…like his wedding date.  Sam is sure Anna will understand whatever is holding Callen back.  The Admiral walks by – everyone to Ops.

Shyla tells an arriving Callen and Sam that Alice Morgan isn’t talking.  Commander Burns sent over Morgan’s travel vouchers.  Comparing the travel vouchers to Morgan’s EZ-Pass charges, “something is rotten in Denmark” according to Shyla.  Morgan visited a number of companies that made high-grade military explosives.  After every meeting, he would go someplace 20-miles past his home.  Using Kaleidoscope, Morgan is seen driving into a storage facility in El Monte two-days before he was killed.  Sam gets a call from the caretaker agency.  He’s taking it outside of Ops.

Deeks returns alone to interrogation with a cup of coffee for Alice.  He explains it is June 30, 1990 and his mother takes him to a Cardinals-Dodgers game.  He remembers that day.  Alice doesn’t care about sports.  Deeks doesn’t either but he will always remember that day.  It was so hot.  Ice cream cones were melts as they were being passed down the row.  Alice doesn’t want to talk about the weather either.  Deeks does.  Because all he really remembers from that day – his mother wearing jeans and a long-sleeve turtleneck.  Not that it really mattered – she couldn’t cover the bruises on her face.  She wore clothes like that for the entire summer. 

Alice asks if “he” spared Deeks.  Deeks says no but kids are supposed to have bruises.  He would tell the teachers he was fighting in the playground.  “What do you tell people?”  Alice said she had nobody to tell.  Her husband made her push everyone away.  Deeks asks how long has the abuse been going on.  Physically, Alice tells him, three-years.  “Mentally, who knows.”  She doesn’t have access to their bank account.  Morgan controlled every part of her life.

Deeks asks if a few months ago, she told the Navy.  There was a  military hotline and she called.  She didn’t hear back.  She filed a report with the family advocacy center who told her they’d look into it.  Deeks has to asks and understands if she did – did Alice kill her husband?  She didn’t – she found him dead when she arrived home.  What surprised Alice was even after everything he did, she tried to save him.  It doesn’t surprise Deeks. 

Deeks asks why did she run.  Alice explains that her husband was a valuable asset to the military, “I’m not.”  She was afraid her reports would be used as motive.  She asks for a few minutes and Deeks agrees.  As he’s leaving, she mentions that her husband would smell like motor oil after he returns from his business trips.  

At home, Bertie is telling Rosa about skinny dipping at a Ramada Inn off the Strip in Vegas.  Kensi isn’t thrilled.  Rosa is really entertained.  She would like to see Adele in Las Vegas, a friend has a condo and the family would let her use it.  The friend, Tay, is from her calculus class and Bertie is down on calculus.  With a disastrous marriage, three dead-end jobs and a brush with a pyramid scheme, she never used the Pythagorean theorem.  That’s really geometry, Kensi notes but Rosa is in love.  Bertie is the coolest.  Since Rosa needs to soccer cleats, she asks Kensi to take her and Tay to the mall.  Bertie moves on to a story about taking a sound bath behind a DQ in Marfa.

At a storage unit facility, Callen, now teamed up with Shyla, is brought to Jeff Morgan’s storage unit by the manager.  The place was cleaned out but still smells like almonds and motor oil – explosives manufacturers put the scent into their product on purpose.  Callen finds a small piece of C-4.  Shyla doesn’t think Morgan was killed for the software, he was killed after using his access to these explosive manufacturers to procure some product.  Callen worries about where the explosives are now.

The woman managing the storage unit place wants all the inside scoop if there is a dead body – she has a true crime podcast.  Three men were removing boxes from the back of the storage facility when the woman started her shift.  She doesn’t have access to the video surveillance, however, only her boss can do that.  Shyla wants the woman to call her boss – they need the footage now.  Shyla is also going to contact Commander Burns to figure out what is missing.

In Ops, Kilbride confirms that Alice Morgan contacted the military abuse hotlines to Deeks and Rountree in the boat shed.  The people running the hotlines say they take all abuse complaints seriously but there wasn’t enough information to move it to NCIS.  The Pentagon invested $1-billion to remedy this situation after past failures.  Deeks wonders how much of that money could have been saved if this was a priority from the start.  The Admiral is not pleased with Deeks’s statement.  He says since Alice didn’t kill her husband, figure out if she knows who did and disconnects.

Looking at Deeks, Rountree asks how much of the story he told Alice was true.  “Every word of it,” is Deeks’s reply.

Bertie finished doing laundry though Kensi out of the dryer sheets.  Asking for Rosa, Kensi explains that she’s negotiating between Tay and a friend over a disagreement.  She also tells Bertie that she doesn’t have to do laundry.  Bertie missed doing the laundry.  Kensi tries telling her mother-in-law that she and Deeks missed her but Bertie knows better. 

Bertie also knows Kensi is feeling a bit overwhelmed by parenthood.  Kensi notes that she’s not “technically” Rosa’s parent.  Bertie asks Kensi if she loves Rosa and wants to keep her safe.  Kensi does on both.  Bertie follows up - does Kensi fear she isn’t doing enough even though she’s exhausted from doing too much.  “Every single morning.”  Bertie doesn’t care about “technically” – Kensi is Rosa’s parent.  Kensi spent her entire NCIS career being one step ahead of everyone else.  She thought she could do that with being a parent.  She couldn’t.

Bertie offers some words of wisdom from her mother about being a parent – it’s like being pecked to death by a chicken.  That’s not helpful. 

Shyla has news for “Shark Tank” – Rountree.  She’s sending video of the three men who took the explosives from the storage unit but the footage is awful.  Rountree goes into interrogation to see if Alice knows any of the men.  Alice recognizes one of the men – she met him at a wine festival.  She remembers the date – it was her birthday.  She thought he was doing something nice for her birthday.  Obviously not.  As Rountree goes to tell Shyla, Alice asks Deeks what happened to his father.  Deeks tells her he shot him and two weeks later, he was in jail.

Callen and Shyla return to the office.  She gets a call as she returns to Ops, Callen goes to see Sam in the bullpen.  They are on a video call with Commander Burns.  He assures Callen and Sam that he’s been working with ATF.  15 to 25 pounds of C-4 is missing with a lot of blasting caps and detonation cord. Callen asks abuse complaints about Morgan.  Burns did not have enough evidence to move forward.  Before Callen and Sam could press him, Shyla needs them in Ops.  They quickly end the call but promise to call back.

In Ops, Shyla found Morgan had several bank account Alice Morgan knew nothing about.  Several of them received $9,000 deposits in the prior week – a transaction amount just under the amount of money a bank would have to report to Feds.  Met World Holdings sent the money.  It is owned by an Ivan Parson, who looks like one of the man in grainy video.  Met World Holdings is an import/export business – they move fine foods and fine wines.  Parson is connected to extremist groups in Ireland, Germany and Indonesia. 

The Admiral is looking for a sitrep.  Met World Holdings has an unoccupied space in Hollywood.  Deeks is getting Alice to a safe house so Callen, Sam and a seven-minutes out Rountree are at the unoccupied space.  The Admiral reminds everyone that the job is to get back the explosives without blowing up a city block.  The only way LA is going down in flames is if the Admiral has the match.

Callen and Sam move near the building.  They can see some shelves of items and a man but he’s not Parsons.  Going through the back door, Callen and Sam see Parsons.  Sam throws a wine bottle to get one of the men’s attention.  Sam quickly takes him out but makes enough noise to get Parsons and a minion to run.  Callen tackles the friend but Parsons gets to his vehicle.  An arriving Rountree stops him but Parsons throws his bag of explosives in the air and shoots them.  That sends Rountree flying but Sam takes down Parsons with ease.

As Parsons is being taken away, Callen tells Sam and Rountree that Morgan wanted to back out of the deal but Parsons already paid for the explosives.  Morgan was either scared or greedy.  He also wasn’t as tough as he thought he was.

Deeks joins Bertie on the back porch.  They share a couple of beers as Bertie asks if he got all the cats out of the trees.  Deeks said he did his best.  Deeks wants to talk about “Dad”.  Bertie isn’t interested in her past.  Deeks doesn’t think that’s fair – it is their past.  He only wants to know how she made it through.  “Vicodin and Sally Jessy Raphael,” is her answer.  She doesn’t know. 

Bertie explains that Deeks’s father took everything from the two of them, including the person Bertie used to be. But when he was gone, with Deeks’s help, she got that person back.  She’s made a lot of mistakes since that in her life but it is her life.  Deeks approves. 

Kensi and Rosa join Deeks and Bertie on the patio.  They’re just back from the mall.  Rosa would like to visit San Francisco and Deeks is all in on that.  Bertie invites herself – she knows a thruple up in Barstow that can rent then an RV.  Deeks is horrified by his mother being in a thruple.  Bertie assure him she’s not a part of the thruple, she just knows one. 

Anna returns home.  She thought they were going to dinner but Callen has a candles and some wine.  He also got bagels.  He loves Anna and he’d marry her tomorrow.  When they get married, he wants to be surrounded by everyone that means everything to them.  Arkady and Hetty are part of the package.  Anna isn’t happy but Callen explains Hetty has been in his life from the beginning.  He can’t get married without her.  She has more of the story and he needs her to tell it.  If he doesn’t do this, Hetty will always be the other person in the room.  He doesn’t need a lot more time but Anna is giving him all the time he needs.  She only asks the he tell the truth, even with it is hard, especially when it is hard.  He promises he will.

What head canon can be formed from here:   While the case of the week wasn’t much, that felt intentional.  The guys who stole the explosives were plot points.  They weren’t the typical bad guy – they were a bunch of dudes.  The hour instead was about family relationships.  It started with the Kolcheck-Callen and  Blye-Deeks households, moved to Rountree talking about his sister, Sam with his father and then the case of the week.

This was a terrific Deeks episode.  Light and goofy dad/husband at home, sad and serious with Alice and later with the Admiral, Rountree and Bertie.  There should be a bonus for the person who decided Pamela Reed would work as Deeks’s mom.  Just as light and goofy she could be in most of the episode, she was sad and serious near the end.  That scene with them alone wasn’t just family, it was two survivors who built themselves the lives they enjoy.

For a program and an NCISVerse that is mostly pro-military, there was a real sense of disgust by Deeks and disappoint/disgust late in the episode by the Admiral over the handling of Alice’s abuse case. 

Loved the explosion that sent Rountree flying – that’s the show I know and love.

Episode number:  Episode 307 overall, the fifth episode of season 14.