#literally my new favourite essay

[marscia]

Joan Didion writes, in On Keeping a Notebook, that the purpose of keeping a notebook, or a journal for that matter, isn’t because you simply want keep a personal record of things; but because you want to remember the person you were at that specific moment. we write things down on our notebook/journal/diary (whichever one of those you keep) because we want to remember. we want to remember what specific people meant to us on a particular day or hour. or minute. we want to remember our first impression of something (or of doing that something), possibly of someone, too. sometimes we think we’ll “always remember” important events: “I’ll make a mental note of that” etc etc. but in reality everything is fleeting. so Didion says write it down. keep a journal. that way, people, places, and certain events will always be there in case you ever want to come back to them sometime in the future. but also so that they don’t ever haunt you.

[mindfulstudyquest]

❥﹒♡﹒☕﹒ 𝗯𝗲 𝘀𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘁𝗲𝗿 ( 𝗮𝗰𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗺𝗶𝗰𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗼𝗻𝗹𝘆 !! )

𝟭. improve your writing skills ( ✒️ )

i feel that not everyone has the perception of how important it is to know how to write. you don't have to be a poet, nor the new emily brontë, but fluid, conscious, rich writing makes the difference. really. you could write a page without saying anything at all, but if that damn page is written good and smoothly, then you can be sure that you will get extra points. take the time to improve your writing skills, the best advice i have for doing so is reading. read as much as you can. read novels (non-fiction in this case doesn't help because the content is preferred rather than the form), read contemporary authors – you don't necessarily have to read sophocles' tragedies, but read quality stuff. expand your vocabulary, your knowledge of syntax, learn to use punctuation! and then write, tell stories, write love letters, write reviews of films, books, cultural festivals, open a blog on tumblr and write to practice, reread what you write ad nauseam, until it is perfect, until the form of your essay is pulitzer prize worthy.

bonus some of my favourite authors (tell me in the comments about yours!): ian mcewan, banana yoshimoto, haruki murakami, george orwell, josé saramago, albert camus, khaled hosseini, hanya yanagihara

𝟮. develop critical thinking ( 💭 )

if you have always studied passively by absorbing information and vomiting it onto a test sheet then you have wasted your time. taking on information is not enough, you need to know how to rework it and develop your own idea about it. especially in the arts and literature one may disagree with certain information provided by a textbook. developing critical thinking is not easy, especially due to the school system that teaches us to standardize thinking. always consult all available sources on a given topic, compare them, analyze contradictions. it might be difficult and tiring – our brain spends more energy processing two conflicting pieces of information than processing two pieces of information that agree – but it will be worth it. by practicing critical thinking and improving your argumentation skills, you will not only be able to improve in your studies, becoming able to present complex topics and make interdisciplinary connections, but also in daily life, you will become much less influenced and manipulated by external information.

𝟯. find yourself an interest ( 🌷 )

it could be anything, but find an interest that excites you and you enjoy and do research about it. watch videos, documentaries, read articles. it doesn't have to be school-related, it must be an external topic that you are passionate about and that allows you to rediscover the joy of studying and learning every time school seems to suffocate it. sometimes i'm not in the mood to study for exams, so i dedicate myself to my personal research and finally find my spark, my seek for knowledge. for example, my interest is true crime, it has always fascinated me since i was little, but yours could be wild animals, makeup, comics, ships, planes, ocean flora, literally anything. there is no constraint.

𝟰. analyze your mistakes and recognize your wrongs ( 🫒 )

there is no shame in making mistakes. everyone makes mistakes, we are human, but the real sin is getting bogged down in mistakes, refusing to acknowledge them, and continuing to make them again and again. we should be continually growing, continually discovering ourselves, both intellectually and emotionally. how many of you were the "gifted kid" when you were little and then grew up into burned out high school / uni students desperately seeking academic validation? there comes a time when talent isn't enough, you have to put in the effort, and this doesn't make you less intelligent or gifted, in fact, quite the opposite. dedicating time and attention to your personal and intellectual growth also means having to ruminate on your mistakes. it's scary, but it's the most effective way if you really want to improve. take a notebook and at the end of the day reflect on the highlights and the wrongs, what you could have done better, where you would like to push forward tomorrow, what you achieved today. did you make a mistake? first ask yourself why and then look for a way to solve the problem, make every bad moment a lesson, a brick on which to build the version of you you wanto to become tomorrow.

𝟱. don't be afraid of doing researches ( 🧃 )

the amount of fake news and misinformation online is appalling. opening any app like tiktok or instagram we are inundated with information that is often (not always, but not so rarely) inaccurate. don't be afraid to conduct your own research, if you have time to mindlessly scroll through tiktok you will also have five minutes to read an article regarding that information provided. don't know the meaning of a word? look it up before using it. not sure about a piece of information? check it before using it in your argumentation. in the age of immediate access to data we have no excuse to be superficial.

𝟲. master communication ( ♟️ )

mastering communication is essential in both personal and professional realms. it's the cornerstone of building meaningful relationships, whether it's conveying ideas effectively in academia or fostering connections in the workplace. developing strong communication skills not only enhances your ability to articulate thoughts but also empowers you to listen actively, empathize with others, and resolve conflicts constructively. ultimately, honing these skills cultivates confidence, credibility, and success in all aspects of life.

𝟳. push yourself out of your comfort zone ( 🧸 )

build your confidence. confidence is uncomfortable. don't be afraid of it. you are young, this is the right time to experiment, take risks, discover who you really are. this is the best time for you to do those things that you would otherwise never do, you don't want to regret later in life that you didn't accept that scholarship, that trip abroad, that job opportunity, because you didn't feel comfortable enough. do things that take you out of your comfort zone until everything becomes your comfort zone. go on solo dates, be a social butterfly, tell the girl at the bookstore you love her t-shirt, go to the theater alone, eat at a restaurant alone, take that trip. if it goes badly, you'll only have one funny story to tell.

𝟴. stay informed about the news (but not too much!) ( 🌍 )

this might be controversial, but: stay informed about the news, just don't overdo it. personally, i am an easily influenced person and i realized that being constantly exposed to the bad things happening in the world had drained me and made me terribly depressed. don't get me wrong, you need to be informed about what's happening in the world and in your country, just being constantly surrounded by horrible news repeated ad nauseam on TV programs is of no use. be aware.

[comradekatara]

where do you see piandao fitting into your ever-expanding modern highschool au? he's honestly one of my favourite minor (non-gaang) characters to be honest

i mean obviously piandao is some kind of mentor figure to sokka. i think he sort of fills the hole hakoda leaves in his absence (which is its own complicated thing that i don’t have time to get into rn). they would meet earlier than in canon. he’s probably an english teacher.

at first he thinks sokka is plagiarizing his papers because what kind of middle schooler knows how to cite articles they accessed from jstor, but eventually he realizes that sokka is simply not receiving enough enrichment in his enclosure and offers to give him personal classes where they’ll read more challenging books. and sokka agrees on the condition that he’s allowed to bring yue (because they’re codependent and do literally everything together) because he knows that she could also use more enrichment in her enclosure. so the three of them meet every saturday morning in the library to discuss paradise lost and the like every week for years.

and then yue dies, and sokka loses all interest in showing up to the library on a saturday morning when he could sleep in until 3 pm. and he kind of loses touch with piandao, because he’s in high school now, so he no longer sees him in the halls or has time for their extracurriculars. and piandao doesn’t really know how to make sokka feel better about his girlfriend/best friend in the entire world dying, because even if he may feel like it sometimes, he is not actually his father. so they just lose touch for years.

sokka goes to college, moves away, meets new people. but then one day, sokka is back home for a holiday or something, and he runs into piandao at the jasmine dragon (they’re both friends with iroh). and he’s just elated to see him again, there’s none of that awkwardness or despair that permeated all their interactions after yue’s death. they’re just happy to get the opportunity to catch up after all this time.

sokka’s like “i can’t believe you put up with me, i was such a dumb kid” and piandao doesn’t have the heart to tell him that the first essay sokka ever wrote for class was so brilliant that he assumed sokka had just straight up copy pasted the entire thing from a publication because sokka is still going on about how “english was always my worst subject, i’ve always been way more of a stem guy, katara is the real writer of the family, she’s actually a freelance journalist now, i’m so proud of her” blah blah blah “it was nice of you to humor me, though. i know yue really loved our sessions.”

at which point piandao bravely resists the urge to take sokka by the shoulders and shake him, and instead simply asks him, “so how’s grad school?”

[flyingtornado]

One of my least favourite things about the heroes of Olympus series, is just how DIRTY Rick did Percy.

Like in the og series, Percy was an actual good character who was actually portrayed as someone strong with character development.

In the heroes of Olympus, he just made Percy downright dumb. Like, Percy was my favourite character for a while but then I read heroes of Olympus and he annoyed me SO much.

Like… where’s the Percy who tricked Briaes, the hundred handed one, into a game of rock, paper, scissors, and WON?? Where’s my guy who fought Ares at TWELVE??? Where’s my dude who gained ARTEMIS’ TRUST??? PULLED 5 PEOPLE IN A SINGLE BOOK??? WHERE ARE YOU???

Rick honestly made Percy so… annoying? Boring? Weak?

Like EVERYONE ELSE, including Annabeth, had SUCH good Chapters (yes, including Jason bc I love him), but PERCY WAS LITERALLY JUST SO DUMB.

I’m not kidding when I say I downright LOATHED him.

Rick even changed his FATAL FLAW???

What happened to personal loyalty??? When did it become not being able to step away?? When Kym told him that he would finally have to face his fatal flaw, there was only like a sentence where Frank stopped him to not join Jason, Piper and Leo???

LIKE THE REASON I AGREED WITH NICO SO MUCH IS BECAUSE HOW DISAPPOINTING PERCY WAS?? When he saw Percy as a regular guy and not some cool hero, I FULLY AGREED.

WHAT WAS THAT RICK???

He downgraded Percy so much just to make the newer characters have bigger parts, which I get, but absolutely hated.

I was so excited to see Percy in a new series and only got disappointed. His chapters? Mainly used for comic relief. His fights? After Mark of Athena his only good one was with Akhlys, which he never actually got to win (still mad at Rick for making Annabeth stop him 🙄) and all the others he either got pretty injured and the others did some AWESOME stuff while he literally just sat there??

Like no wonder Piper wasn’t impressed. I WOULDN’T BE EITHER???

EVERYONE treated him like he was a dumbass, which I would normally argue with if you told me he was dumb in his series, but in HOO?? I’d be wrong if I did.

He has honestly just no point in being there?? Like Annabeth spent MONTHS searching for him, and I feel like she just doesn’t really care about him that much anymore and has probably become more used to being alone than being with him. She had more dynamic with Piper and Reyna than she had with Percy.

They had like… the judo flip?? That’s it. They also had like a kiss in Athens underground?? Piper made it sound awkward for her so it made me feel awkward.

Annabeth got along super well with Leo, Jason and Piper, so why didn’t Percy talk that much with Hazel and Frank?? They literally all went on a quest together and they spent more time with Leo.

Everyone on the Argo was all friendly and connected. Ex: Piper with LITERALLY EVERYONE EXCEPT PERCY. Annabeth with LITERALLY EVERYONE with the OCCASIONAL PERCY.

He was basically only connected with Annabeth, who kinda grew used to not needing him, while Percy still absolutely loved her. Heck, Annabeth was scared AND angry at Percy after Tartarus.

Once again, Annabeth had honestly a whole bunch of character development while Percy was SOLELY used for comedy.

That fight with Kymopoleia? WHY WAS HE SO DUMB?? Like in the Percy Jackson series, HE WOULD NOT HAVE JUMPED IN HEAD FIRST. It also made me mad that JASON was the one who ending up bringing them to victory when they were UNDERWATER? LIKE WHERE WAS COOL, DARK PERCY?? I know Percy said he was afraid of controlling the poison since Tartarus but still??

His chapters? Bleh. His fight scenes? Even more bleh. His character connections? I’ve had more dynamic with my morning toast.

I have SO much more to say, but I’ve literally written an essay so I’ll end this here.

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

It's literally your hand! | a conversation on writing style

new newsletter out today! a craft essay all about writing style! one of my favourite things I've thought of in a while, lol, here's an excerpt of one of my fave parts:

"The act of engaging with another writer’s voice, trying it on my own writing like playing dress-up with my prose, is an element of fun that I think can be lost in traditional conversations about style that take us down a path of "finding."

[inspector-montoya-fox]

It's always really difficult to choose between An Opera of Fear and A Cold Alliance for my favourite Sly 3 episode, but it's safe to say that Flight of Fancy is easily the most nostalgic. Not because it's rooted in my childhood memories (it is) but in the sense that it shares elements with episodes from Sly 2 during a game which presents the gang at the peak of their career. Let's discuss

I think we can all agree that the series very effectively presents the gang's development, not only as individual characters, but also as a team of thieves. Sly 1 shows the gang as teens during their first set of adventures which sprout from Sly's desire for vengeance. They make many mistakes, they don't really have planned heists or jobs - Sly just casually goes into every level breaking shit and then faces off the big baddie - and they surpass their own expectations of themselves to defeat Clockwerk in the end. Then, Sly 2 covers a crucial point in the gang's career. It felt as if up until this point they hadn't truly fucked up so they went into it being very cocky, especially Sly. And when they got their asses handed to them by Neyla, getting separated tested their individual and collective limits.

In Sly 3, the gang has evolved to master thieves, capable enough to feel comfortable recruiting and as such mentoring strangers and also worthy enough to inherit an entire lineage's stolen loot. This is also shown in the missions, which up in scale and spectacle. It's no longer just "follow this villain" or "pickpocket this person". It's a combination of missions we grew accustomed to during Sly 2 like "follow Octavio and do recon under time pressure", or something completely new. Right off the bat, for example, we send a ferris wheel rolling across Venice squashing guards in its way, like this is just a mission not Thunderbeak or something. Every Sly 3 mission evolves explosions, high-tech and the eventual mini boss-fight.

So it's then a bit surprising to see the gang reverting to their sneakier, more subtle ways during Flight of Fancy. That's not to say we don't have explosions and thrill in the episode (the dogfights, Muggshot vs Carmelita, wolf-riding, shooting literal fucking windmills into blimps), but the way they choose to sabotage the competition due to how delicate its internal politics are creates some nostalgia. Paddling around the sewers in a blow-up rowboat and breaking into the pilots' rooms is very Sly 2. It felt like something 18 year old Sly would do. Also, scaling the Baron's castle harks back to Sly 1's platforming and is reminiscent of how small Sly would seem when approaching a villain's daunting lair.

The design choices for the Netherlands seem primitive too, enhanced by the fact that we're in the countryside. I feel like there's that Sly 1 and 2 rule of thumb at play here, where Sucker Punch chose the aesthetic or genre first and then chose the location. For example, they wanted a spooky level in Sly 2 so they chose Prague which would accommodate the genre through its architecture and gothic character. That allowed them to exaggerate a lot in terms of level design. And it's the same for Flight of Fancy, where we have a spooky castle on top of a very cartoony hill and you can hide under haystacks. Oppositely, the rest of the game's levels seem to have departed from the previous entries' design principle (except Kaine Island, which is fully fictional). It feels as if SP chose Venice and wanted to play up how European it is, or the wilderness of the Australian outback but without any radical stylistic choices. The genres are explored through the narrative, not through design.

Lastly, let's close off with some Thieves in Time slander because it wouldn't be a signature me tumblr essay without it. If we really use the entirety of our brain power and manage to look past all of the game's bullshit, one additional flaw would be how it doesn't consider the gang's development when telling its story. I'm not saying that in the series' fourth game the gang should have been infallible or indestructible due to achieving master thief status in Sly 3, but here the mistakes they make feel so unnecessarily stupid and like shit they wouldn't have done even in Sly 1. Falling for Penelope's schtick twice; Sly letting his guard down during the Le Paradox boss fight after the Contessa; whatever the fuck went down in Arabia... yea.

[lesbiandanhowell]

Dan and Phil Appreciation Week

Day 6 - Favourite Solo Video(s)

Dan -

Let's be honest, it was always going to be Basically I'm Gay.

This video changed my life and deeply impacted me even when I didn't actively watch their videos. Even now, 4 years later this video does so much for me every time I rewatch it and gives me a new perspective on everything Dan touches upon. I tried writing an essay on this video before and it got so personal I felt unable to share it within anyone, because this video and everything it talks about hits very deep for me. I appreciate Dan's ability to tell his own story while also considering the wider implications of being queer and the skill with which Dan navigates these important and sensitive topics.

My second video pick has to be Why I Quit YouTube, because I appreciate the bravery with which Dan made this video, because it is such an honest and important video. Sharing his struggles and hardships as a call out for the injustice he suffered is something I have immense respect for and I really think it is a highly underappreciated video. Literally calling YouTube out for their bullshit and their exploitation of creators on the platform itself was long overdue and Dan being the one to do it made it all the better. I really hope we will one day get all the projects he's dreamed of creating because his mind is fascinating and he has so much creativity that just wants to be shared with the world.

Phil -

All of the Sleepless Night with Phil videos are just, endlessly hilarious to me. I don't have profound things to say about them like I do about Dan's videos, but these videos bring me so much joy and feel like genuinely just hanging out with your friend with insomnia. He talks about the most random things in these videos and yes they are so very fake in some ways, but somehow that makes it so much better? It's like a little stage play and I am the sole audience and I am thoroughly enjoying it.

[autisticlancemcclain]

fic rec friday 45

hello and welcome to fic rec friday! where, on friday, i rec five of my favourite fics.

Pieces by zenstrike

Five times Keith found comfort with Lance, and one time he tried to return the favour.

look i know i talked about zenstrike last week and im here to do it again. i know what the secret relationship trope is, i know there are so many great fics but like. zenstrike reaches something in my chest and fucking twists it. i read something of theirs for the first time like two years ago and i remember being actually fucking struck dumb on my bed and clutching my phone because the way my stomach churned and my heart pounded and i well and truly FELT every fucking emotion!! when keith nervously pressed his palm to the junction of lance's neck and his breath sharpened mine did too!! when the swirling dread of fear and nerves turned in lances belly it turned in mine too!! idk what it is about zenstrike but they have touched me in a way no other author ever has in my whole life and i cant always read everything they write in one sitting, sometimes im consuming it all in a frenzy and sometimes one fic takes me days. anyway keith loving lance with every goddamn molecule but being physically unable to say it but determined to show it will always make me insane sorry for the goddamn essay

2. when you're here loving me by orphan_account [EXPLICIT]

“’Look at me, I’m Keith,” Lance muttered, “’I run directly at Galra sentries and don’t even think about the big, glowy thingies in their hands. What are those called again?’” He tightened the gauze, gently despite his trying to act angry, “’Right! Guns! Can’t possibly hurt me, right?’” Keith scowled, “I know what a gun is.” ✦ they come back from a mission, gross and in love.

this one is kinda porny lol but its pretty goddamn funny. of COURSE these two are the massive losers who play rock paper scissors after they bone 💀💀

3. The Samurai and the Sharp-Shooter by orphan_account

It's tough going on missions when you have to pretend you're dating your rival. Tougher still when you're actually not even rivals but lovers forced to hide that fact for the sake of the team's greater mission. Not canon, but still in space and everyone's there. Fluffy with zero angst.

this fic makes me CRY with laughter bc why are they fake dating to hide that they're real dating on a god damned assassination mission 😭😭 they're actually so goddamn stupid

4. Headshot by @angelwithaknife

“Guys,” Lance grunted, lying down behind a couples of rocks and aiming at some soldiers again, “I appreciate that you appreciate me but please stop waving at me after I save you, I’m sick of running around trying to find new spots, I specifically chose a long-range weapon so I could lie down all the time.”

this is so CUTE the team loves lance so bad. and as they should!! bc hes so smart and amazing and cool and wonderful and talented honestly i just love him so bad

5. What's Something You've Never Told Me? by @fondaboo

The lady drops a slice of lemon into it and slides it back towards him. “You’ve got pretty good taste kid,” she says. Her cordial smile turns wicked and teasing, as she jerks her chin to the dance floor. “And it's not just limited to drinks, I'd say.” Keith follows her dark gaze, before he can help himself, biting down on a groan when he sees where she’s looking. Lance. Jesus, he can’t even go to a bar without someone calling out his—blatant and painfully obvious—crush on Lance. “Friend of yours?” She croons. He drags a hand down his face, maybe he needs something stronger than whiskey. Ketamine maybe. “Best friend actually,” he squints through his fingers, glaring darkly, “not that it’s anyone’s business.” Or the author overuses em-dashes while trying to make Keith talk about his damn feelings! OR ace Lance has to deal with a smitten Keith and just wants to watch disney

ACE LANCE ACE LANCE ACE LANCE ACE LANCE ACE LANCE!!!!!!!!!!!!! god i love him. also fondaboo literally never misses

that’s it for today!! i’ll see y’all back next friday for the next fic rec post!!!

[marylynbirds]

Things I do that are (probably) related to my autism

I was diagnosed 1,5 years ago as a young adult so idk I've been thinking about this a lot lately and wanted to share. These are things that I do because of or to help with my autism (I kept it neutral/positive!).

- having a favourite spot in the bus..

- aaand having several back up spots in case somebody else is sitting there.

- buying putty (it's kinda like clay) to fidget with. (I have a small one from crazy Aaron's thinking putty, it fits in my pockets so is easy to take with me)

- making weird body movements when I'm happy (flapping my arms, moving from side to side doing little dances)

- when I was at my parents last time I wanted to put my face against his soft fur. He's a bit of a nervous cat so for his sake I didn't.

- bought a new planner that's focused on keeping a balance between work/school, private live and potential side hustles. (it's kinda like a bullet journal without having to draw everything yourself)

- my wireless headphones are the best! (no wire that keeps getting stuck, better quality than my earbuds and the sound can be very quiet and it still cancels out a lot of noice)

- bringing earplugs to places when I can't or don't want to wear my headphones (I have Loops Quiet, thinking about getting the Engage ones as well)

- bought a 1 liter waterbottle with timestamps on it so I remember to drink water.

- I pay a lot of attention to detail, especially when it comes to essays, my studymates/friends know this and ask me for help. I like helping them get a better grade and learn. (I'm studying to be a teacher for a reason xD)

- taking a bus/train earlier so I not stressed about delays

This is all I can think of from the top of my head. Let me know if you can relate! Are there any other things you do bc of your (suspected) autism (self diagnosis is valid)?

[yamameta-inc]

it isn't about the gintama essays but i would love to hear your elaboration on phoenix kristoph etc!

oh man. sure! i don't really know where to start if you want me to explain them from scratch.

basically, kristoph/phoenix to me is just a much funnier (and thus better) hannigram. the game of gay chicken (and legal/murder chicken) is really heightened by the fact that kristoph is committed, due to his own ego and atrocious personality, to pretending to be nice and caring while phoenix acts like the most obnoxious person on the planet. not directly to kristoph, since he also has to keep up the pretense. but like come on. it's established that they have dinner together, what, almost every day of the week? that's insane. normal working adults--certainly lawyers of kristoph's calibre and renown--don't see their best friends that often. they don't see their family that often. can you imagine how busy kristoph is, how many other things he'd rather be doing? but instead phoenix makes him come to this shitty ass fake russian restaurant, where the tables and shit are covered in snow. phoenix makes kristoph freeze his ass off in order to eat bad food and listen to his shitty piano playing almost every day. and kristoph has to do it. he has to do it because the persona he chose was of phoenix's incredibly selfless saviour.

and the best part is that in addition to this it's also genuinely toxic and traumatic. these two are doing "keep your friends close and your enemies closer" to such an absurd degree and it's my favourite mix of drama and comedy. phoenix is obsessive, resentful, and insanely stubborn and he once again restructures his entire personality in order to deal with kristoph. and the fact that he could be intimate with kristoph (and here i cross into the realm of very subjective interpretation) in a self-harming way while also doing the above borscht bowl nonsense is incredible to me. i don't really care at all about kristoph outside of their dynamic and his impact on phoenix, but i do think this extremely manipulative and abusive villain having to grit his teeth internally and take the absolute nonsense phoenix says at him (grapes are tasty and easy to eat) is also the best part of his character. kristoph would absolutely say "the trout is a nietzschean fish", but then phoenix would say "huh? oh, gesundheit" and kristoph would have to breathe into his silk handkerchief for a moment and feign choking on a fish bone, and then phoenix would get to go "aww you have to be careful with those. i once knew a guy who swallowed a fish bone and it grew a new fish inside of him."

beyond that it's incredible to me that they set up kristoph as a sort of... well, to put it bluntly, an edgeworth rebound. where is edgeworth in AJ? it doesn't matter. he isn't here. but instead there's this other (uglier) guy who has superficially similar traits to him (and who's even more of a queer-coded villain). fancy, faux european, INTJ meme, a gay little thing around his neck... and they even make him assume a rehash of wrightworth's backstory as his public entry into phoenix's life. like hey. why did they do that. he literally mimics edgeworth's position relative to phoenix, becoming his sole defender in a big scary trial. we all know how deeply edgeworth's actions as a fourth-grader who knew phoenix for like one year impacted phoenix and rearranged his brain chemistry. it stands to reason that as an adult going through a genuinely terrible and miserable patch of life, phoenix would've been.................... Something about kristoph. and then he would've learned the truth, felt betrayed, etc etc. did i mention that for some reason kristoph also perfectly fits into his self-proclaimed Most Hated Things In The World list, born from his bad experience with his evil ex-gf? really makes you think.

[softerhaze]

(i know you almost never publish asks but i will still await the essay and your response for my eyes only if you do answer)

it’s that time of year again… 🎄🎅🎉🎊 no. the highlights of your 2023 media consumption of course! just like last year, i want to know your top 5 films, books, tv shows, songs/albums, pop culture moments if that’s your thing, and as a bonus: any favourite personal moment/achievement in the last year? new to you, new in release, either works! can’t wait to see your response and wishing you a happy new year! 😁🩷

MO!!! hello, ilu 😍💌 thank you for sending me this!! i actually am gonna publish it though omg because consuming media is like. 99.99999% of my entire personality 😀

top 5 shows

The Bear S2 (S2, ep4....you will always be famous 2 me)

Succession S4 (i literally think about ep3 like....weekly)

Normal People (made me abnormal and sad for weeks after)

Severance (a rewatch because it's just SO good)

The Last of Us S1 (such a cool collective experience to watch it as it aired, i have 0 interest in S2 at this point though)

top 5 movies

Saltburn (despicable, freaky women won w/ this one, sorry)

Past Lives (me when love and loss are sometimes the same thing: 😀)

Priscilla (beautiful...made me want to commit crimes)

Fargo (can't believe i hadn't watched this before...it was fun!)

Bottoms (will almost certainly end up as a campy gay cult classic, it's ridiculous)

top 5 albums

Boygenius - The Record + The Rest

Mitski - The Land Is Inhospitable and So Are We

Chappell Roan - The Rise and Fall of a Midwest Princess

Haley Blais - Wisecrack

The Japanese House - In the End It Always Does

I also read like 21 books this year?? I don't think I have 5 faves, but Annihilation by Jeff Vandermeer was my #1, hands down. In this house we love stories about love and grief disguised as cosmic horror 💌 I'm actually reading the final book in the trilogy right now!

[roseharpermaxwell]

RWRB FirstPrince Tech-Based Fun Recs

Texting, Online Dating, Instagram, Wrong Number, etc. Click below for my favorites!

my husband by @coffeecatsme. T, 750 words. This isn’t the first time Alex roped Henry into a TikTok prank—there are videos of there with millions of views and enough compilations of Henry’s exasperated face that it’s become a meme.

Or, Alex ropes Henry into the latest TikTok couple prank.

Toe the Line by @orchidscript. G, 1k. Henry plays piano while Alex studies. Alex gets caught live-streaming. Henry has a response handy.

swipe right on me by coffeecatsme. T, 1.3k. Henry is scrolling through a profile—a redhead with freckles and a toothy grin that apparently made gym his personality. Alex almost wants to cry when Henry swipes right. Then, there’s the brunette he swipes left on, the Asian man with a dog he lingers before he swipes left as well, and then—

Alex drops his pen on the desk. That’s his profile.

you and i go from one kiss to getting married by vibrantsaturn. T, 1.3k.

Prince Henry @PrinceHenryUK I adore you so much, darling. Never change.

 

Alex Claremont-Diaz @theagcd that's cute i would literally go to federal prison for you

call it what you want by vibrantsaturn. T, 1.9k. Alex Claremont-Diaz @theagcd

guys it's 3am and i just found henry crying to taylor swift in the kitchen in the refrigerator light i love this motherfucker so much

Prince Henry @PrinceHenryUK

She makes me feel things.

Alex Claremont-Diaz @theagcd

BABY SHE MAKES ALL OF US FEEL THINGS

william @alltoounwell

THERE'S NO WAY HE JUST CALLED PRINCE HENRY MOTHERFUCKER LMAO

or,

Alex live tweeting his favourite FirstPrince moments. That's it. That's the fic.

let's be friends (so we can make out) by eclvpsed. NR, 2.2k.

Henry Fox ✓ @HenryFox Thanks for the cover feature @gaytimes. New issue out now. 19K Retweets 26.1K Quotes 118K Likes

|

alex claremont-diaz ✓ @theacd no guillotine could take away the head i need to give him 76.2K Retweets 55.6K Quotes 462K Likes

-

OR, actor!Alex Claremont-Diaz publicly thirst tweets about actor!Henry Fox because he is a delinquent and a plague in every universe.

watch before it ends by @indomitable-love. G, 2.4k. He should be working on this essay so he can spend more time with Henry this weekend. He really, really should be working on this essay. But.

But.

Henry is going live on Instagram.

Bold Statement by regularis_vas. T, 2.4k. Alex attends Milan Fashion Week with Nora and June. they arrive outside the Dior fashion show and let’s say… Alex turns heads.

Or

Alex goes shirtless, Ellen nearly has a stroke and the internet goes wild. (So does Henry)

A Thousand Words by Thunder_Cakes. G, 2.5k. After that Han/Leia mural both their accounts go silent for a while. For months, actually. They’re both in therapy after Alex tried to post a selfie with June after election night and had a panic attack before he could hit “Share.” Suddenly the thought of sharing the details of his life and loved ones with the world is paralyzing. Wonder why.

or: Alex, Henry and what they choose to share of their life

spread (me on your) sheets by @everwitch-magiks. E, 2.6k. Alex creates a sex quiz to determine how well people’s bedroom preferences align with his own. After a night of too much tequila, he sends it to a lot of people.

One blond, blue-eyed respondent scores a hundred. - Also, companion fic Alex Claremont-Diaz’s Comprehensive Coitus Questionnaire by stutteringpeach (M, 2.6k). 

come pick me up by @smc-27. T, 3k. ‘I’m here for you’

He can tell that the person will receive that as a text message as well as in the app, which is a relief because sometimes people like, order rides then absolutely pay no fucking attention to the app. It’s really annoying to have to wait forever for folks.

’Thank you. I’m going through a difficult time currently, so this means a lot.’

Alex stares at the message he received, frowning, and then another comes through.

‘Apologies. I’ve lost all my contacts. Who is this?’

Oh, Christ. This is going to be awkward as fuck.

’This is your Uber driver. I’m outside.’

OR, Alex is an Uber driver. Henry needs a ride the airport.

freddie by @coffeecatsme. T, 3.3k. “Didn’t know BuzzFeed was still relevant enough to do interviews.” He watches a grin spread on Henry’s face, and the glint in his eyes is enough to tell Alex that whatever it is, it’ll at least be fun. “What?” he asks, tugging Henry’s hands. “What is it?”

“They just might be relevant enough for this.” Henry’s palms close around Alex’s cheeks, brushing his curls away. “They asked whether we’d be interested in doing a puppy interview.”

Something To Be Proud Of by @cha-melodius. M, 3.3k. Henry stares at the carbon copy of the email in his inbox and wills time to go backwards. Just a few minutes, that’s all he needs. Enough time to go back and keep autocorrect from transforming whatever he’d typed after ‘he’ in his pronouns after his name into… that.

(Or, an unfortunate typo in an email, lots of dick jokes, and the joy of finding yourself at Pride.)

how would you feel if i told you i loved you? by @waterloolovers. NR, 3.3k. He lasts all of five minutes before he’s opening the link to start a message to Alex. ‘I have been in love with you since the moment I first saw you, but I’m too scared to tell you x’

twitter fox hunting by alyaasca. T, 3.5k. In the middle of another war with twitter bots, Alex notices that the comment 'my pussy in bio' comes from a weird account and goes to explore. There is, indeed, a pussy in bio. A furry one. A cat named Snowflake.

well we're not here to fuck ducks by @dumbpeachjuice. M, 3.7k. Henry is looking for someone to help him with his duck study. He makes quite a serious typo in his 'All Staff' email.

kiss me through the phone by violetbaudelairequagmire. M, 3.9k.

[Unknown Number] *Attached image: a shirtless, tanned torso, cropped at the top of shoulders, holding up two brightly patterned ties* which 1?

Excuse me?

or, Alex accidentally texts the wrong number and then just never stops.

i would stay forever by vibrantsaturn. T, 4.5k.

Henry Fox @HenryFox I can’t stand him [alex covered in cake, flipping off the camera]

 

Pez  @likethesweets send help they’re flirting on the tl

 

Alex Claremont-Diaz @theagcd  you know i love a london boy

Three times is a pattern by @clottedcreamfudge. T, 4.8k. “Hi,” an amused voice says on the other end of the line. “You’re through to Alex at L&G. Can I start by taking your name please?”

“Henry,” he admits, although the lure of a false name is calling to him like a siren song. “I’m – look, how long were you on the line just now?”

There’s a pause before the man answers. “I’m legally obligated to advise you that these calls are recorded for training and monitoring purposes. Is that enough of an answer?”

Henry just about manages not to swear. “Thank you. Unfortunately that is very clear.”

“Great. How can I help you today, Henry?”

He wonders if they offer euthanasia.

One Number Away by smc_27. T, 4.9k. “Hello?” a confused sounding voice on the other end of the line says.

It is not Pez. Pez doesn’t answer like that. With the fanfare of “my dearest Hazza” or “my sweet prince” or “you absolutely unforgivable scoundrel.” Only the first of these has any root in truth or accuracy.

Also, Pez is not American.

“I’m sorry. You’re not…Not Pez. Right. I’m sorry.”

OR: Henry dials a wrong number. Alex answers.

if evil, why so cute? by everwitch. E, 5.4k. Alex’s cat hates Alex, but loves Henry, the Bookstagram influencer who’s on vacation in Alex’s quiet seaside town. And while Alex is pretty salty about his grumpy cat’s inexplicable affection for a complete stranger, he must admit he can see the appeal; Henry is fucking gorgeous. It’s why Alex follows him on Instagram in the first place. It's just, Alex had never thought he’d be officially introduced to Henry by his own goddamn cat.

Or: Henry takes a two-week vacation to a seaside cabin with the intent to read a lot of books. Instead, he has a lot of sex.

Are You Screwing With Me? by @rmd-writes. E, 6.5k. Alex is only downloading Grindr because he’s curious. It doesn’t fucking mean anything, right? And when he answers a call for help from a very hot neighbour – who has no business having a shoulder-to-waist ratio like that – he’s just being friendly. It definitely doesn’t mean that he’s going to discover things about himself that he’d assumed were just passing curiosity.

Or, the Grindr meet-cute AU

I hope you don't mind that I put it down in words by knowledgeiscake. T, 7.2k. NBC News @nbcnews Journalist Alleges First Son Alexander Claremont-Diaz Cheated with Him on Vice President’s Granddaughter Nora Holleran

An epistolary fic blending the book and movie verses where ACD gets outed by Miguel before Philip and Martha's wedding even happens

(Door)Dash to the Heart by bleedingballroomfloor. M, 8.1k. The man looks up when Henry opens the door. "Henry?"

Henry clears his throat. "That's me," he manages.

"Cool," the man says. "You're making me hungry for breakfast with this order, man. Which is bad for me, because my breakfast is usually just coffee, and there's no way I can drink that this late."

"Uh," Henry says. He's pretty sure dashers don't talk this much during orders.

"Anyway," the man says, handing the bag of food to Henry, "enjoy your night."

Five times Henry gets late-night food from his insanely hot DoorDasher Alex, and one time they get food together at a normal time.

Bake It Til You Make It by OrchidScript. T, 8.4k. The chaos dead-ended in a linked TikTok video. By the looks of it, just a pasty-faced white dude in a tee shirt with a mug of… something. Why that would be interesting to anyone, Alex didn’t know and didn’t guess. He rolled his eyes and clicked on it anyway.

“Are you serious?” He asked, a second later dissolving into laughter. The video froze, a small banner appearing over a stagnant image reading 'Man Pleasing Appetizers 1971'.

Blondie was a Brit, and Alex wasn’t going to lay there and say that didn’t do something for him. He’d come to terms with his bisexuality enough to know that made the stranger hotter — even just the littlest bit. Especially when the video started rolling again

Alex falls down the rabbit hole of an H.J. Fox's Tiktok videos, falling a little bit in love with the terrors and treasures of cooking past he finds there, while recovering from a sinus infection. Back in class and confronted by H.J. Fox -- Henry Fox, to be exact -- in the lecture seat next to him, Alex does what any normal, well-adjusted adult would do: He suggests his recipes, just to watch Henry make them.

Will Alex get to watch his cake and eat it too, or will he get something sweeter than hoped for? 

Amazed at How We Talk (Once, Successfully) by @sparklepocalypse. E, 8.7k. And, well. Fuck that guy. Alex isn’t about to rub elbows with people who can’t even stand to be in the same room as him.

Alex isn’t sulking when he sidles up to the bar and steals a man’s whisky. He also isn’t sulking when he obtains a second glass, this one neat. Or when he snags a large plate of canapés from one of the waitstaff and nonchalantly strolls out of the room.

(Movieverse; a riff on the trope that asks, What if Cakegate didn't happen?)

The importance of the 'recall email' feature by clottedcreamfudge. E, 9.6k. "What did that email even say?" Bea interrupts him again, and he glares at her.

"He was asking for an extension."

"Scandalous," she says drily, and he rolls his eyes, stealing the umbrella from her mocktail and wondering whether or not he could use it to end his misery.

"He... addressed me in a fairly comical way. It was quite rude, but apparently unintentional. We've all been there."

Pez nods solemnly. "I once called my tutor 'Carrie' when in fact her name was 'Carey'. Incredibly embarrassing. I couldn't look her in the eye for a week."

"Er, yes," Henry says haltingly. "Yes, just like that." 

Well It Ain't Missionary by @everwitch-magiks. E, 11k. Alex Claremont-Diaz, a ballet dancer, is asked to list his ‘favorite positions.’ His hilariously suggestive answer goes viral, as does the unexpectedly flustered reaction to it by the Internet’s very own FoxySexEd. So obviously, Alex has to slide into Henry’s DMs. How could he resist? When a man that attractive wants your dick, only a fool would pass.

Henry is surprising. He wants to be pushed around, thrown for a loop, and he wants Alex to do it for him. But whenever Alex tries to soften his landing, Henry clams up like he’s been burned.

Alex can work around that, obviously. He's a dancer. If you're gonna toe the line just right, pointe shoes are a must.

Or: Alex and Henry fuck. Not in missionary.

whenever you're ready by @tedddylupin. E, 12k. “Pez. Please, will you stop tagging me in TikTok thirst traps?” Henry asked as he stepped into his friend’s car.

Pez lowered his Gucci sunglasses on his nose, looking at Henry without anything obscuring his vision and just laughed before pushing them back up with his middle finger. “Don’t fucking lie to me, I know you love them.”

Or: the one where Henry falls in lust with a TikToker making pottery and leaves drunken thirst comments

once, successfully by vibrantsaturn. M, 12k. Grindr, once (un)successfully, etc., etc.

misdial by rizcriz. T, 13k. His phone starts ringing as he’s wringing the coffee out of his shirt in the tiny coffee shop bathroom. He groans, sliding his finger over the answer button as he pulls his shirt up. “June,” he says, as politely and patiently as he can muster, “Now’s really not a great time.”

A distinctly male voice that does not belong to his sister, says, “Er.” He drops his chin and looks down at the counter, where a blond haired beauty is staring up at him from a facetime call. In the top corner, Alex can see what the man sees; himself, partially shirtless, standing over the phone, his abs dripping with coffee.

Alex has no idea who the fuck this man is.

Or, the facetime call that changed Alex's life.

Everyone Knows Who You Are by smc_27. T, 26k. Look, it’s not that he doesn’t feel influencers deserve representation or have complex management needs. It’s just any time he’s met with an influencer, he’s not only had next to nothing in common with them, but he’s also got no bloody clue what they’re talking about half the time. It’s a world far away from the one he typically resides in. He deals with authors and musicians and the occasional up and coming tennis player or gymnast or swimmer. His niche.

He walks into Conference Room B and sees Alex Claremont-Diaz sitting there in a smart black button down shirt, unbuttoned just enough to be devastating but not inappropriate. Henry’s boss is there, too.

When Alex sees Henry, he smiles, but also gives a discreet look up and down. Oh, god. No.

We’ll Invite Something In by smc_27. E, 26k. Alex is grinning a little too hard.

This is absolutely idiotic and pointless and fun.

The cover of Hello UK with a photo of him pulled out and a photo of His Royal Highness Prince Henry Fox-Mountchristen whatever the hell the rest of his names are (Alex knows; he being a dick) with the admittedly stupid but flattering headline which reads: His Royal Highness: He’s just like us and crushes on Pres ACD.

Ignite My Heart by @absoluteaudacitywrites. M, 30k. “So, I’m making you an account and we’re going to swipe right on some men and you can thank me later,” Pez says.

The 'We met on Tinder' AU

RWRB YouTube Interviews series by @happiness-of-the-pursuit. M, 31k. Hot Ones, etc

Hashtag Soulmates by everwitch. E, 44k. Alex is perfect and handsome, the golden boy, everybody’s secret crush. So there is absolutely no way that he is the reader who screeches in caps lock every time that Henry posts as much as a drabble. There’s no way. Except Alex just closed his browser fast as fucking lightning, but not before Henry had gotten a good glimpse of the page Alex had open: AO3. ‘Don't Stop Me Now’, Henry’s current wip. The one that Henry literally just updated.

Sweet Jesus. Could it really be?

I only tag an author once per post, but I'm still figuring out firstprince author handles. If you see one I may not know or find a broken link, please give me a heads up!

Master List of RWRB FirstPrince Recs

Master List of Recommendations

[wen-kexing-apologist]

✨2023: A Summary✨

Post your most popular and/or favourite edit/gifset/analysis for each month (it’s okay to skip months!)

tagged by @dribs-and-drabbles, thank you! this was a fun review and I was interested to see how many times my favorite post and the most popular post coincided (or didn't)

January

I wasn’t writing meta

February

Most popular: Heart’s Confrontation- the scene breakdown that started it all!

Favorite(s): Heart’s Confrontation, Moonlight Chicken Sign Language Index- I really had a lot of fun figuring out the similarities and differences in American Sign Language and Modern Thai Sign Language!

March

Most popular: Best Criers in Moonlight Chicken- it's funny, short, and sweet

Favorite(s): Moonlight Chicken is for the Queers, Isn’t it Difficult to be Born Poor?- I loved writing these so much!

April

Most popular: A plea for Akk to have unrestrained summer fun

Favorite(s): Bed Friend and Reflections Part 3; Songkran, Water, and KingUea- Not to sound egotistical or anything, but I was really proud of myself for the conclusions I came up with in both of these pieces

May

Most popular: Silence- I think this was one of the only things I wrote in May

Favorite(s): Silence- THE ACTING IS JUST SO GOOD OKAY?

June

Most popular: By/For/About Queers Part 1 and Part 2- these only have the most notes because this was originally a post from @absolutebl that I added thoughts to, so most of those notes are from them

Favorite(s): Phupa and internalized homophobia Part 1 and Part 2- it was really fun getting to unpack my past assumptions about Phupa and work through those until I came out the other side with a new blorbo.

July

Most popular:  Lack of Touch in BMF

Favorite(s): Rain, BL Boys, and Reciprocity; Trans Allegory in Cupid’s Last Wish; Body Language in La Pluie, Episode 12- I especially liked Rain and Reciprocity because I think it has really shaped how I watch shows since then because I want to see if my theory holds.

August

Most popular: Only Friends, Boston, and Queer Culture

Favorite(s): Only Friends, Boston, and Queer Culture, Pause for Reflection, Part 1: Respectable Promiscuity and Only Friends- listen, I was going to write boring, academic, cited work about sex/porn as a joke, okay? I didn't expect people to actually engage with them as excitedly as they did!

September

Most popular: A Must Read- I give all credit for the success of this post to the Teen Vogue author who wrote the article and to @waitmyturtles who sent this link to me

Favorite(s): Pause for Reflection, Part 2: Only Friends, Racism, and the Commodification of Queer Asians; Poor Boy; Who is Mew Anyway?- Honestly, I had a wonderful time writing all the essays for Only Friends

October

Most popular: Best Scene in Only Friends and Why it was Sand and Nick Kissing

Favorite(s): Let’s Talk About Sex!, Why I Like BL, Physicality of Characters- the sex essay for my 69th essay was fun, and hilariously appropriate because I had recently answered the physicality question and could use it as an example

November

Most popular: Physical Touch and Hands in Last Twilight- It made me feel so warm and fuzzy that people would notice I wasn't posting about this show and want to hear from me <3

Favorite(s): IS BROTHER ANURAK THE ONE ARMED MAN?- I will never reach a higher high than when my obsession with hands finally paid off and I figured this shit out a month in advance of Part 2, I'm a motherfucking genius

December 

Most popular: Hands Touching Hands- I love throwing in complete key smash type of analysis from time to time as a treat cause I keep forcing people to read literal long-form essays all the fucking time (sorry, not sorry)

Favorite(s): Top 5 Favorite Food Moments, Best of QL 2023: Favorite Lines, Best of QL pre-2023: Favorite Lines- I love when I can cause people emotional pain, and all of these not only stabbed me in the heart but took a couple of people down with me as far as I can tell from the tags.

__

It's wild to have done this, because I haven't really been keeping an eye on my stats until now. I've made almost 400 original posts this year, and increased my notes by 25,000 annually looking at 2023 compared to 2022. I have been a lonely little tumblr goblin since 2012. I came on here to read other people's smart thoughts about things I was watching and to reblog gifs, and I never really thought building community here was possible, but here I am 11 months after making my first BL analysis post with a bunch of friends I didn't know a year ago, and about 20 more lenses through which I watch my silly little gay shows.

tagging: @bengiyo, @ranchthoughts, and @rocketturtle4

[beanghostprincess]

Favourite One Piece openings and/or just songs in general?

You can't ask this to a music student and guitarist/singer! I can't choose! there are too many good songs in this anime-

Sogeki no Shima deeee. Umareta Ore waaa. Hyaappaaatsu Hyaku Chu. Lulu Lala Luuuuuu. Nezumi no Medama mo (Lock on!!) Omae no Haato mo (LOCK OOOON!!!) SOOOGEKI NO SHIMA KARA KITA OTOKOOOO LULULU LULU LALAAA SOOOOREEEENIIIGEEEEROOO Sogege Soge Soge SOOGEEEKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING

Okay, no, jokes aside (it isn't a joke. I genuinely ADORE Sogeking's theme) my true rankings (No. I'm not writing essays about them. This post would be too long. If you're curious about my genuine long opinions about a song, send an ask bc otherwise this post will be too long):

Openings:

Crazy Rainbow (this is the song I want all of you to think about when you think about me because it's MY song. I LOVE IT. It's me. It talks about me, actually. I am crazy and I'm a rainbow and a star. Twinkle twinkle rainbow star!!! I heard it once and it became my favorite ever. It's my alarm. I wake up with this banger every day. My friends hate me for this take but honestly, they're the ones who don't appreciate a good set of trumpets and guitars with tropical imagery as background).

Hope (The chorus is WILD. The visuals are so comforting it makes me cry every time. This is the energy I want all of my fanfics to have. It's the representation of my writing turned into music, I think. These are the vibes I want. The lyrics??? Are fucking insane??? Also, Sanji-themed, and it hits close to home).

We go! (I don't need to explain this one, but I wanted to mention that the way he screams BRRREAK OF ROMANCE DAWWWWN rewired my brain completely and that lyric appears on my mind every damn day)

Jungle P (Average opening. Not even that good. It's just cool and happy. HOWEVER! Have you considered that LIFE IS ADVENTUROUS BE AWARE IT'S DANGEROUS WHO'S GONNA BE ONE OF US AND THE TRIP GOES ON BECAUSE WE DA PIRATE OF THE MASS TO THE WEST TO THE EAST GONNA FIND MY WAY SAIL AWAY ALL THE WAY TO ONE PIECE)

Brand New World (The energy this song has makes me literally want to scream in the happiest of ways. The chorus, man, it's insane).

Hikari E (The Catalan Dub makes it better. I'm staying loyal to my native language this time. This is fucking amazing in Catalan. The lyrics are so fucking good they make me want to cry. It's very dear to me, too).

The peak (Really cute! Fun! Such a relief opening to end Wano <3 It's just beautiful visually and stunning. But also it has such peaceful and joyful vibes!! My beloved).

Kokoro No Chizu (This one is awesome. I love everything about it. My fav thing about it is my reaction to watching OP with full screen for the first time. Really fun experience of 'what the fuck is this and also THIS SONG IS A BANGER??')

Bon Voyage (Also my alarm because no other thing besides BON VOYAAAGE being yelled against my ear wakes me up in a better mood. Also, really fun opening. The chorus are basically the best part, ofc, for obvious reasons).

Believe (Once again saying this one hits different in the Catalan Dub. The lyrics are beautiful but also it gives sooo many 2000s opening vibes. I enjoy this song every time)

Endings:

Raise (I am not explaining this one because I think it's obvious why it deserves top 1)

Run! Run! Run! (Who the fuck is focusing on the song when Sanji being silly is right there???!?!??! Fun fact, I had a whole ass moment when I saw this ending for the first time and I had to take a break from watching the show because I went on a full crazy spiral of 'Sanjisanjisannijssnaisanjisanjisansajisanjisanji'. But also, really great song and it makes my brain go brrrrr).

Shouchi no Suke (BROOO THE VIBESSSSS THIS IS SO FUCKING GOOD I COULD LISTEN TO THIS FOR HOURS)

Dear Friends (This one makes me want to k word myself so I think that's a very good way to express how fucking good this ending is and how much it hurts me every time)

Eternal Pose (I am vibing. I like vibing. It's the vibes only).

Free Will (I want to hug Robin so tight. This one makes me so emotional. I am in so much pain, please).

(Not even a top 10, this was supposed to be a top 5 but I couldn't leave Free Will behind).

Character songs (with little to no explanation because I work tomorrow and I have to go to sleep but I want to post this now):

River of Freedom (I want to fuck Sabo nasty after hearing this and I am so not ashamed of posting this publicly. My thoughts aren't in the bible).

Dr. Heart Stealer (I want to fuck this man to oblivion and I am a lesbian and asexual. Imagine how hot you have to be for this to happen).

47 Todoufuken Gen Ima Cruise (Yakko Warner would love this).

Hajimari to Owari no Machi (They put drugs in this one).

Girls ni Kubittake (I like submissive Sanji).

Smile for Freedom (I kin Nami)

Save My Heart (The depression of some is the fav song of others)

Headliners (Kidlaw sex)

Usopp Drop (I am in love with Usopp)

Moulin Rouge (I am in love with Sanji)

[justarandombrit]

Well. Here you go, I guess. (To avoid the massive amount of preamble skip to "The return of lines from Spies Are Forever...")

Spies Are Forever is a 2016 spy-parody musical set in 1960s America. It's by the Tin Can Bros and is all professionally recorded on YouTube for free, so I recommend watching it before reading this, as I will be talking about the penultimate in-character song from this musical, which, despite being a parody, is very much also a serious spy story, with a lot of twists and turns.

It is probably my favourite musical of all time, so I'll give you an hour or so to watch it.

…

Back? Has your brain chemistry been fundamentally changed? Yeah, that happens.

Anyway, just in case you decided that you didn't care about spoilers, I'll give you a quick overview of the plot you need for this essay.

Agent Curt Mega has been retired from spying for four years, since his partner (Owen Carvour)’s death due to a mistake Curt made. He decides to get back into the field to fight the enigmatic Deadliest Man Alive and ridiculous Baron Von Nazi, and stop the construction of the “Nazi Super Castle”. Along the way, he works with Cynthia Houston, head of the American Secret Service, Barb Larvernor, scientist, Tatiana Slohzo, Russian spy and the Informant, informant.

Despite being a comedy first and foremost, a lot of the musical hinges on the villain’s plot, and that is important in this overview.

We are led to believe that Von Nazi is the “brains” behind the operation, so to speak (despite him having none himself), up until a confrontation where, after killing the prince of The New Democratic Republics of Old Socialist Prussian Sloviskia and convincing the country's government to sign off on the plans for the Super Castle, the DMA literally and figuratively stabs Von Nazi in the back.

This, like many of the DMA's actions throughout the show, seems completely unmotivated. The main characters question this, and, in a suspenseful, absolutely devastating moment that I cannot do justice through the medium of writing, the DMA is revealed to be Owen.

I could write pages and pages about this moment, about the foreshadowing leading up to it, about Curt's reaction, Tatiana's reaction, Joe Walker and (actor) Curt Mega’s acting, how it's Joey Richter (Owen’s actor) who says the line “Personal history does have its benefits, Mega”, that line itself! This scene keeps me up at night, but this essay isn't about that.

This essay is about the song directly following this scene.

As Owen predicts in his speech, Curt goes after him instead of the information warehouses created by Owen’s agency, Chimera. This song serves as a villain song for Owen, no longer disguised as the Deadliest Man Alive, and also a duet for Owen and Curt.

Although up until now I have been explaining the plot in order, a good chunk of this analysis requires the context of retrospect. So, again I implore you to watch it. It's only 8 minutes long and would really make my job easier. Act Two, Part Six.

https://youtu.be/yMBi9hp2QVQ?si=IUz42a_1DTMi4eNS

So. Curt and Owen were lovers. Even though that moment (along with Curt shooting Owen) had been spoiled for me before watching, I still gasped at that scene. Anyway, with the added context of what sort of “partners” they were, we can now move into the analysis.

I'm no music theorist, as evidenced by most of this essay being about the depth of the lyrics, not the music, but, as YouTube user ConsiderableColors pointed out in their video-essay “Motifs Of Remembrance In Spies Are Forever”, One Step Ahead does not have a single use of the common leitmotifs throughout the rest of the show, symbolising how Curt has moved on from mourning and feeling guilt over Owen, and accepted what he has to do.

(Sidenote; that video is incredibly good, and I'll be linking it at the end along with another SAF video-essay I love)

The return of lines from Spies Are Forever (song), specifically, “Who do you trust, who do you betray?”, really highlights TalkFine’s amazing lyric writing, recontextualising lines from the opening song, which clearly parodies the famously nonsensical Bond songs, because, as we all know:

Foreshadowing is a dramatic device in which an important plot point is mentioned earlier in the story to return later in a more significant way...

I hope somebody got that reference.

Anyway, one important aspect in the structure of One Step Ahead is, for the most part, Owen always sings his lines before Curt, reflecting how he is, a, literally ahead of Curt, as he is being chased throughout most of the song, and, b, was figuratively ahead of Curt for most of the show, knowing and predicting his every move.

Owen sings “One step ahead, that's how it's always been”, to make out that Curt is incompetent, as we see him do multiple times in the previous scene. Of course, at this point, the audience should realise that this is untrue, but it makes complete sense why Owen, the man who almost died because of a mistake Curt made, should think this.

In the next verse, Owen continues with the much softer, although arguably more hurtful to Curt, “One step ahead, I'm sorry my old friend / But I'm still here / After all those years when you thought I was dead / I was one step ahead”

When listening to the song for the first time, “old friend” may sound like a bittersweet term of endearment, but with the context of the true nature of Owen and Curt’s relationship, this can be read more as an insult, as Owen disregarding their relationship, and pretending nothing ever happened between them.

Curt, still reprising lines from Spies Are Forever, next sings “It's time to save the world again”, making no mention of beating Owen or “overthrow(ing) (...) an evil power” like the ensemble sings at the start of the song, because at this point, Curt still has hope for Owen. He still believes he can get Owen to leave Chimera and he can get the Owen he knew in the opening song back.

Owen quickly shoots down this idea with “Typical Curt / And pretend to be a hero again”, which both takes a shot at Curt’s saviour complex, but also all of the duo’s previous beliefs, which we know Owen now believes were not really the right thing to do. Thus, this line could also be read as Owen showing his disdain for both A.S.S and MI6, and, by proxy, who he used to be, and who Curt still is.

Curt retaliates, now giving up on reprising SAF and instead following the tune Owen sang, with “Typical jerk!”, showing that he's now somewhat accepted that he won't be able to easily get Owen back, and has fully joined in on the fight. (Also I don't know how to include this but, after this line in the live version of the song Joey (Owen) says “Ooh, sick burn” in the most sarcastic way you've ever heard and it's amazing)

He then asks “What happened to the man I knew?”, implying that he's realised that Owen is no longer “The man [he] knew”

Owen gives a snarky response in, “It's a little late for an interview”, further showing his hatred of the man he used to be, and refusing to defend himself and his beliefs, despite going on to do exactly that after this song.

“Feelin’ a lot of déjà vu again” This line is sung one inch away from each other’s faces… I'm just saying, they knew what they were doing.

We can see that all of the quipping in the previous lines got to Curt, as he sounds much angrier than at the start when he sings “It's time for you to feel the heat”

Of course, Owen retorts with the much calmer “Revenge is going to taste so sweet”, once again reminding Curt, and us, the viewers, of his motivation throughout this song. In this song, Owen doesn't attempt to hide or downplay how much his trauma from Curt leaving him to die, or his desire to get revenge influenced his actions, unlike later, in The Staircase Scene, where he seems to genuinely believe he is acting for the good of spies, and humanity as a whole.

In fact, pretty much the only time revenge seems to play a factor in his choices when he's monologuing in The Staircase Scene, is when he says “I'm going to single-handedly dismantle everything you've ever believed in”. This, along with how his voice breaks when he says that line, tells us that he may be being more honest about his true motivation during this song, and lying, to an extent, about it afterwards.

They both proceed to call each other platonic, and slightly condescending nicknames (e.g. pal, buddy), both to try and undermine each other, and also possibly because they're still rightfully cautious to admit that they were anything more than that, in a society that demonised and criminalised homosexuality, especially for government workers, like secret agents.

Afterwards, Curt tries to retroactively justify Owen’s betrayal to himself, as we see in “You played me from the start”. He tries to convince himself that the betrayal was inevitable, and that Owen had been lying since they met, unable to accept that Owen really had changed because of Curt’s own actions.

“Well look at you / Without a clue” Owen quickly refutes this, unwilling to let Curt believe he is completely innocent, by reinforcing that he really did love Curt once.

Instead of doubling down, Curt goes with what Owen said, attempting to appeal to his emotion with “You know you broke my heart”.

“Don't deny I was the better spy” This line breaks me. Genuinely, I've spent hours thinking about this line. Think about the implications. PROMISE ME YOU'LL THINK ABOUT THE IMPLICATIONS.

See, the reason I love this line so much is that Owen is right. Objectively speaking, Owen is the better spy. And not in the way that Cynthia thinks, and not in the way he implies throughout the show. Curt is not incompetent by any means, but he is reckless. Owen is not.

The only reason Owen even survived at the start of the musical was because he took the proper safety precautions to limit the blast of the (completely unneeded) bomb Curt set the timer purposefully too short for. It makes complete sense why Owen would think he's better at spying, however I don't believe that he does. Maybe to an extent. But not fully.

“Don't deny” shows he really wants validation via this statement. He wants Curt to admit that he's better. That what happened was Curt’s fault. Maybe Owen does believe he's the better spy, maybe he doesn't, it doesn't matter. All that matters is that Curt believes he is.

(I had a lot more to say about that line than I thought…)

Instead of succumbing to Owen’s demand, Curt retorts, “I liked you better when you were dead”, which seems harsh, but utterly understandable. Owen’s betrayal hurt Curt so deeply, so intensely, that he preferred the years spent in mourning for his lover, quitting his job and drinking so much he hallucinated Owen’s ghost, because at least that Owen was the one he knew. The Owen that died a hero, rather than the one who lived long enough to become the monster.

Please forgive that cliché, but it seemed applicable.

After this, Owen reiterates “One step ahead / It's how it's always been”, but this time, Curt responds directly to Owen, with, “Can't let you win”. He's now outright saying that he and Owen are on opposite sides, rather than speaking vaguely about “saving the world”.

Owen, while still angry, again seems to be more interested in reminding Curt of his mistake and making him suffer emotionally. The “I'm still here” has an unspoken “Even though you weren't”.

Then, after Curt’s line, he goes back to the superiority idea, “And I'm better than you again”.

Interestingly, Curt doesn't attempt to appeal to Owen’s emotions again, or even insult him, instead just responding, “This is the end”. Either, at this point he has fully given up on reasoning with Owen, or, the earlier “You know you broke my heart” was a mistake, an accidental show of vulnerability Curt didn't mean.

My personal interpretation was that the line was a last-ditch effort from Curt, a sort of hail Mary to try and get Owen to see sense by alluding to their relationship. We see him do this later on in The Staircase Scene, by outright stating it, and it almost works. Almost.

Owen's line, “No one's innocent” shows a lot about his character. Even though he's trying to shift blame onto Curt, he still acknowledges wrong-doing. After all, he can't pin the over 1,000 people he killed as the Deadliest Man Alive on Curt, that was all him.

“My friend, you lost your mind” Here, Curt does the exact opposite of what he was doing before. Instead of making it out that Owen never loved him in the first place, e.g. “You played me from the start”, he disregards the reasons Owen joined Chimera, blaming it on Owen “going insane” or “losing his mind”.

As we've now come to expect, Owen immediately shuts this down, determined to make Curt feel the full gravity of what Owen sees as his original betrayal. When he says, “And you've been blind”, Owen is talking about how, in his opinion, Curt is blind to all the pain he caused, which we know is actually untrue, and we also know that Owen knows this, see “I spent as much time hating you as you did”. This, like so much in this song, is a way to guilt trip Curt, despite being an obvious lie.

This line could also be interpreted as Curt being blind to Chimera, and being so enamoured by spying and taking down governments that he is forgetting to notice (what Owen thinks is) the bigger picture.

“Now we're at the end” is pretty self-explanatory. This is the climax of the show, the point all of this has been leading up to.

The line “This is what you made me do” is sung by both Curt and Owen and has different connotations for each. Owen is once again referring to Curt abandoning him in the warehouse, causing him to join Chimera. Curt is talking about the fight itself, as he's tried to reason with Owen, but, after all of this, he's now at the end of his tether.

In the lines

“We're done”

“We're through!”

Owen sings first, symbolising how he moved on faster (well, visually, but I stick by the “Owen still had feelings for Curt until his real death” headcanon - I mean, he could've shot Curt at basically any point throughout The Staircase Scene, he chose not to). But Curt shouts louder, showing his anger about how Owen has acted after “coming back from the dead”. Also, this is their official breakup. Just think about that for a second.

These lines could also link back to the fact that this is the climax of the show, the writers are sort of telling you “This is it guys, we’re almost finished”.

The finality of the moment is emphasised by “I've nothing left to say to you”. They've both made their cases, neither was convinced, but they've said all that was needed.

After this, there's a direct homage to The Sound of Music,

“So long

Farewell

Auf Wiedersehen

Adieu

Goodbye”

…only in a minor key, taking the music from a romance and altering it slightly, depicting Curt and Owen’s own relationship. Furthermore, this is the goodbye hinted to in both Spies Are Forever and The Coldest Goodbye. This is the coldest goodbye. Why did I reread that in Eleanor Shellstrop’s voice

In conclusion, One Step Ahead is a song about truth, betrayal, tragedy and love. Curtwen is one of my top ten ships (and just character dynamics in general) of all time, and I hope this essay did them justice. Hopefully I didn't repeat myself too much? I love this song, show and characters so much that I got incredibly overexcited for massive parts of this.

I hope you at least got something out of reading this, and so one last toast. To honour-

Links:

ConsiderableColors’ essay: https://youtu.be/cS05pAQAFaY?si=16BHM3eU-gEUkxXE

Spies Are Forever: Decoded:

https://youtu.be/OYAbmbKoaqc?si=9EpZ1wYr_SMBPCP0

Ooh! New one!

How Spies Are Forever Defies Cliché With Parody

https://youtu.be/QhIwDhZKPvM?si=h6IFpKoFCHR0T-iK

(I can't believe this is also about Argylle lmaoooo)

[toomuchracket]

I’m in desperate need of some matty comfort please T_T I have been so exhausted and overwhelmed lately and I just spilled my dog’s food which was of course the proverbial straw that has led to a 15 minute long sobbing session. Can I please PLEASE request some very fluffy matty fluff (birthday party verse is my favourite)

Thank you, you are an absolute angel regardless of weather you choose to do this. I love everything you write 💖

oh babe :(( i know the feeling! thank you for your support, here is mine to you mwah

i've been thinking a lot lately about how you and matty would fall into the rhythms and routines of being a couple after being friends for so long - you've been in the same circles since you both moved to london in 2015, i reckon. and because you know each other so well, it's easy from the literal get-go, the morning after you first sleep with matty and confess your love for each other and stay over cuddled in his arms that night. you wake up first, and spend a few minutes just staring at his pretty sleeping face, before nature calls (lol) and you have to wriggle out of his arms and out of bed. because of that time your best friend spilt her glass of wine onto you at a party at matty's a couple of years ago, you know which drawer he keeps his t-shirts in (because he dragged you upstairs immediately and let you pick one to wear while he washed your jumper for you) - you pull out the same one you wore that night, a soft white jeff buckley tee, and pull it on over your underwear. matty's still asleep when you return from the bathroom, but you don't wake him; the band have just finished a lengthy tour (the opening performance of which you saw months ago in america, where you were finishing your own tour with your latest book), so you know he needs his rest. instead, you go through to the living room to find mayhem, who's so fucking excited to see you (this is reciprocated), and let him outside before calling him into the kitchen with you. it takes you a minute to find the dog food, but you set out his breakfast for him before making yourself coffee and taking it into the living room with you, grabbing your handbag from the hallway as you go. mayhem follows you happily, and jumps onto the couch beside you so you can pet him - you're like "ok i can't remember if you're allowed up here or not, but if we get a row i'll take the blame. but in return you have to listen to this new essay i'm working on, because i haven't read it out loud yet and idk if it works. deal?", and mayhem just licks your hand happily and lets you get on with it lol. and that's how matty finds you when he appears a few minutes later, curled up in his clothes on his sofa, reading softly to his dog; the sight is so sweet and domestic and just taken verbatim from his dreams that he actually tears up a little bit lol. but he recovers before he clears his throat and walks over to you, preening at the way your face lights up when you see him - you're like "hi, angel, i hope you don't mind that i didn't wake you up. and also that i stole your shirt and fed your dog and used your coffee machine. but i figured you needed the sleep". and matty kisses the top of your head and he's like "don't mind at all, darlin', i like seeing you make yourself at home here", and steals a drink of your coffee; you go all blushy before you're like "i'll make you your own coffee, you know" and matty's like "i should be saying that to you lol you're the guest", and you're like "yeah but i wanna spoil you". matty kisses you deeply like "mmm, you already did last night. dreamt about my head between your-" before you clap a hand over his mouth and go "not in front of mayhem he's a BABY" - matty lightly bites at your hand to get you to move it, which makes you both giggle, and then you leave mayhem to his own devices so you can go and make out in peace in the kitchen and make breakfast (again, you already know where everything is, having spent so much time in matty's kitchen over the years) lol.

and while you both write in different forms, you and matty have a shared understanding of weird processes and working hours and writing when the inspiration strikes - you don't get exasperated with each other for staying up too late or not being able to go out, as has happened for both of you in other relationships. instead, you provide support and cups of tea and proofreading/listening and synonyms and orgasms and whatever else the other needs (matty is SO GOOD at calming you down when you have a little freak-out about a deadline or your work not being good enough, which he thinks you're insane for thinking lol - he'll just hug you tight and whisper sweet things and praises into your ear until you're calm, and he'll look over your work to reassure you everything will be fine); you go out together when you can, but you're still spending time together while you're writing (and getting the most intimate glimpses into each other's psyches as you do, which is just incredible), so you're happy. the flexibility of your job, especially, means you're free to go with matty on most of his travels, but - if his more rigid schedule allows - he'll follow you anywhere and everywhere you go to research and write and promote your work too. basically, aside from one weird little hiccup a couple of weeks into your relationship (which i'm writing a fic about), the whole thing just develops so perfectly it's kind of insane, but neither of you are going to question it lol <3