#literally you are the problem not the fact that i am trans but you insisting on shit that doesn't even matter and your behaviour towards me | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

tigsbitties · 1 month

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talk to me about karin

Okay I yapped WAYYY more than i meant to um

Sexuality Headcanon: Bisexual probably. I don’t have any super strong thoughts about this is just feel it in my heart. I’m not sure if that’s something she knows about herself or not though. no time for dat goku. I’ve seen the specific take before that Karin is bisexual with a preference for women but subconsciously likes daan bc he’s effeminate and that’s fun i think. i dont need some queer eyepatched foreigner getting my dick hard :/

Gender Headcanon: I’ve tossed around the idea of him having transmasc swag before— not in a “rude and assertive woman has to be a man” type way (something i see people swear up and down is both common and a problem? but i literally almost never see anyone headcanon canonically female characters as eggs so what’s the truth.) but more so as an extension of the “i know i’m right about this why doesn’t anyone believe me” theme going on with his character (tangent unrelated to this but i think a character who was constantly gaslit growing up who now can’t accept being told they’re wrong about anything bc of the fear of being put back in that situation to be super fucking interesting. Karin i love you.) like spending your childhood being talked down to and having things you know to be factually true about yourself and the world around you be repeatedly denied is a transgender experience i think. i’m not sure in mainline canon this is something he’d ever fully figure out or act upon but you never know.

I think in a modern day au he’d have a deeply cringey teenage truscum phase because stupid fucking Dalia doesn’t believe he’s trans bc “you were such a feminine little girl growing up 🥺 who’s making you do this why are you drifting away from me after all i do for you 🥺🥺” so he takes out that pent up rage on Daan (also a teenager on tumblr in this hypothetical scenario) who he sends anon hate to for triggering his “second hand dysphoria” and will not believe daan when he says he’s cis bc he “types in all lower case” and “has a carrd” . they meet in person years and years later for unrelated reasons with no memory of this. This is a lot of words for a headcanon I don’t even follow consistently I realize.

also jesus pocketcat can you fuck off? he’s wearing his dysphoria jacket.

A ship I have with said character: I am a huge daarin guy to like a HUMILIATING degree. i know that’s like. the most basic ass redditor wholesome chungus ship choice a person could have or whatever but it’s something that canonically has a lot going for it i think. You have to understand that first and foremost i live for banter— which they have in spades, their party talks are so fucking funny. I love having them both as party members when i play through termina— god especially the one about Daan’s soft hands? Why do you know they’re soft? did you feel them? are you susssing this out by just looking? i don’t know which is worse. jesus christ.

but besides that i think this little bit encapsulates a lot about what i find interesting about their dynamic. Karin’s insistence that Daan, because he is visibly wealthy, must be prissy and fragile to over compensate for insecurity at coming from a well off family— completely unaware of the fact Daan has spent large chunks of his childhood fending for himself in the woods. Daan’s complete disinterest i’m giving a serious response because this is such a bizarre thing to get caught up in. “just making small talk” you’re unwell.

The two of them def go beyond “characters i ship for fun”. i do think they’re two halves a whole in that you need one to fully understand the character of the other— like Karin is someone born into aristocracy who has rejected it both because of the ways it’s hurt her (created a scenario in which a malicious adult had unfiltered access to her bc her parents were too busy to care for her making paying someone else to do it more convenient) and more broadly the way it hurts those at the bottom of the class system (which is most people) and how Daan is someone born and horrifically abused at the bottom of that system who managed to weasel his way up the ladder and gain the necessary tools and education to survive at the cost of making a spectacle of, and by extension reliving, that abuse.

Likewise i think the two of them have more aligned goals than they realize. At the end of the day i think both them genuinely really do want to help people— regardless of what subconscious hang ups or insecurities are part of that want. For as stand offish as she is and her tendency to antagonize those who probably don’t deserve it, Karin is deeply passionate about the welling being of others and will do anything she thinks is necessary for a greater good— even if it may come across as exploitative or insensitive. Like there is definitely 100% an element of ego to it— the idea of “if i help others then that makes me a good person™️ and i should be praised for being a good person™️” is totally there— but it’s not all there is to it you know?

Likewise Daan being a doctor coexists as both a testament to his own lack of agency in his life and how his body can be used and discarded how anyone else sees fit if it’s for a greater good and as something he does because he cares about other people and wants to put good into the world. Like even if he comes to the conclusion that the people of prehevil are too far gone to be helped in a way that matters, he still makes the effort to figure out if something can be done about it. And i do think it’s a testament to his character that he mentions his primary clients he sees are prostitutes— people who are made to feel ashamed and dirty for their occupation, something he can empathize with and would want to help without judgement. I like the argument Daan and Karin have in the slums about why these people are sick and what they should be doing about it, because at the end of the day no matter how badly their personalities may clash they want the same thing. Alright buddy you got two options here. you can either have someone help you to affirm their ego or as a form of self harm. those are your choices. choose wisely.

I also really like that like. Karin’s an atheist in the actual sense of that word where she doesn’t believe in gods or magic in a world where that stuff is very tangibly real and Daan is an atheist in the way characters in christian movies are atheists where they do believe in god they just have personal beef with him. do you understand. i like this party talk a lot

In general i think they strike such a good balance with their clashing personalities of having very real issues with each other that are interesting to explore while also having banter that is genuinely really fun to read in a game so often as unpleasant as termina. I’ve seen people complain about people watering down Karin’s “genuine hatred for daan” for the sake of fluffy ship content— and i can see that broadly from the angle of “art and fics about on these two tend to focus on them arguing in a light hearted cutesy without exploring why they clash in the first place” but also like? idk i think “genuine hatred” is a bit strong for what in the game itself largely leads to comic banter. I think there can be emotional complexity intertwined with lighthearted scenarios. I don’t think anyone’s light hearted daarin post canon is hurting anyone or necessarily means they “didn’t understand” the source material.

In general the appeal to me from a romantic standpoint comes in the form of seeing how these characters who have already established strong feelings towards each other in an incredibly short amount of time could potentially develop if given the chance to. And i don’t even think i see them ever “dating” per say? I think their relationships with the concept of romance in a traditional sense would be very complicated and not something easily applied to each other— but i think in a post canon scenario where they’re both still alive there’s plenty of opportunity for an emotional intensity to form there— one that’s not entirely negative or positive. I think like it or not they have the best chance at understanding each other, even if it takes work to get there. Also their soul types match. if you evennnn care.

TLDR: they’re this image to me

A BROTP I have with said character: I don’t think i’d have a strong opinion on it if it wasn’t for the sheer amount of cute art of them, but i’ve become super endeared to Karin and Abella. less “BROTP” and more “thing i ship just less than the thing i mentioned above” . not something i have incredibly strong opinions on currently but i’d love to listen to someone who does speak about it. OH OH ALSO the post about Daan, Karina, Abella, and O’saa being in a polycule? Literal Peak. that is like the perfect cast of characters we have reached scooby doo levels of perfect character group.

A NOTP I have with said character: Not a fan of her and Pav but not something i care about or think about that much.

A random headcanon: I can totally see her being the type of person who doesn’t like cats and thinks they’re obnoxious and asocial and yadda yadda until a stray sort of worms it’s way into her apartment and she can’t get rid of it and now she has a cat forever. Its so annoying and she hates it sooo bad (it is the most spoiled animal on the planet). I can also def see her needing to get glasses at some point— mostly bc i think it would look nice on her. adds an extra layer of “old man who wants to sit on his chair read his newspaper and smoke his pipe”ness to her. I also crucially think she has OCD but that is a topic way better suited for another day I HAVE YAPPED ENOUGH. OH OH and i know her jacket was probably given to her by one of her brothers which if true makes me wanna eat sand and die but it would also be really funny if the unspecified “he” who gifted it to her was like. a scorned ex lover. Daan and Karin being each others rebound is an idea that makes me laugh way harder than it should.

General Opinion over said character: Karin is definitely one of the fear and hunger characters of all time to me and it makes me really sad to see her get reduced to “bitchy delusional woman” bc of her, very understandable given the everything, paranoia and stubbornness. Her backstory especially fucks me up so bad i feel a little insane that i never see anyone talk about it? like jesus christ. I think she’s a character who is both deeply entertaining and has a lot of emotional depth that makes her really fun to poke at.

#ask tag #wanring for brief mentions of #transphobia #child abuse #i have more to say about my lame het ship but I HAD TO FORCE MYSELF TO STOP #I YAPPED SO MUCH #funger

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cardiagf · 2 months

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Makoto is Makoto

I don't really like engaging into cis or trans character debates especially when it's characters who are gnc/androgynous bc a lot of people especially in twt gets worked up ab these said characters are read as trans, which is completely harmless btw, it just rubs me the wrong way when some people are too insistent about a character being cis

and so I want to talk about makoto and how he is not cis, but is nb/transfem in more ways than just him being a femboy/crossdresser.

Disclaimer: I will be using he/she/they pronouns for makoto in this post just bc i think makoto will be cool with that

and for the record, i finished reading the main series but i have not read the middle school specials, yet.

im also someone who really likes otokonoko and onee characters so yes i am aware of the cultural nuances but this would be just me speaking a queer nb person who loves this series and how i perceive makoto as one

also spoiler warning!

first and foremost, I want to say that gender identity, gender expression and sexuality are all wholly fluid, it's a big spectrum that only you, yourself can figure out. And i think as queer people we're allowed to relate, reflect and see ourselves into the experience and struggles of a fictional character.

while i also don't mind it too much if we think ab how makoto dresses is just her gender expression and that even a cis guy should be able to be feminine and like feminine stuffs with without them being trans / or yk anyone can be gnc but i think as someone who went from being gnc to trans/nb pipeline, it is incredibly hard to not draw a line within queerness or being lgbt with makoto's OWN identity and queerness.

I mean makoto literally uses the "Atashi" 'I' pronoun for themself in which is, by the way, a jp 'I' prn most commonly used by girls when they're dressed as girl while she uses "Boku" when she's not crossdressing

(not to mention both saki and ryuji usually refers to makoto with gender neutral pronouns/referral, with saki always calling him "senpai" and ryuji just having the default gender neutral "Aitsu" pronoun for everyone)

and yeah i know it's also because he's an "otokonoko" but in retrospect, when we read further into the manga we learned that by high school, makoto had transferred to a school that lets them dress however she wants and had been living in said school for ALMOST A YEAR (until he was outed) and he clearly doesn't mind being perceived as a girl.

in fact, as shown in early chapters makoto was so happy when someone made a pass at her because that stranger thought they were a girl and he was so happy when he passed AS a girl.

him being an otokonoko or crossdressing only becomes a problem for them when other people are involved, i.e. when someone confesses to him or when she gets close enough with others, as I believe he sees it as a form of deception/don't want to disappoint them.

either way makoto is makoto, yes this is also a form of expression but i think it's also more of an identity, she doesn't have be locked down by the gender binary

not to mention how makoto hides his true identity to his mom is just something a lot of queer, and especially trans people can really relate to. she literally has to lock a huge part of herself inside a locker when they have to go home bc they cannot be themself in said home, it can clearly be read as someone who is closeted

now onto the spoilers regarding this, makoto coming out properly to his family and most specifically his mom really encapsulated the nb feeling really well

and yes i know she states that "he's a guy who happens to like girly things" (just give him a few years /j) but the point still stands: makoto is makoto. they don't want to live neither as a boy or just a girl. it didn't have to be "one or the other," they chose to be themself and this scene really spoke to me as someone who is nonbinary and how i didn't want to perceive as just my agab...i just want to be myself and i want to be true to myself and that was makoto's answer as well.

i honestly don't want to engage in the debate regarding makoto's gender/gender expression and yes it's canon that he's cis but his own experience and the queer experience especially at her age are just very much parallel to each other.

i know a lot of other trans people will be able to see themselves in makoto and I just don't like how people fight ab androgynous/otokonoko characters being cis only when queer readings regarding these character are completely valid and came from a place that reflects on their own experiences, we can't just lock the fluidity of gender identity of someone in one place, much less for a fictional character. they're queer, they're trans in some way and that is completely okay.

#makoto hanaoka #senpai is an otokonoko #senpai wa otokonoko #lgbt #my crossdressing senpai #lgbtqia #trans #gender identity #gender expression #nonbinary

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variousqueerthings · 2 years

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I think glen or glenda is elevated through time and context --

the time being that this is a good insight into how people were talking about trans identities at the time. it’s framed through a psychiatrist talking about transvestites, it’s got a lot of pathologisation, it uses old words for intersex, it’s Very Very Insistent That Transvestites Are Not Homosexuals. you can see the cracks in how transness is talked about, because then it’s also trying to use a sliding scale from “people who actually use an alter ego and just need some good psychiatry to be fixed” to “extreme cases of transvestites” who are actually heterosexual women -- the way it’s depicted is that this other character enjoyed doing housework early in life and was then “revealed” to be intersex...

it also contains a segment that is racist, but carries within it an idea of almost understanding something about gender outside of western norms (it deals with “men in other cultures who wear colourful masks and makeup in order to attract women” and it is as you can probably glean from this description very unfortunate in wording and framing)

between that racist segment and the discussions of intersex as a “form”? of transness and the pathologisation of transness as a whole, it’s very easy to draw threads from western-medical ideologies about gender to todays politics, including and especially limitations that come from appropriation of intersex lives and non-white-western culture, and especially how these were furthered through the (white, male) medical communities of the time being considered the sole “experts” about how one should talk about trans people and gender and sex as a whole. no wonder we’re so muddled now! there’s a lot of damage to untangle!

historically I think very important to be learning about, because one can see how ideals about “woman” and “man” were very racialised and also very much about “correcting what was wrong” (whether what was wrong was in fact some past trauma that was being dealt with through crossdressing, or what was wrong was your body)

the neat thing I think is that it did take pains to stress that not everybody would want gender affirming surgery, which was increasingly not a popular idea in the medical community, because above all they really wanted this to be a “fixable problem” type deal, where someone would be corrected into the opposite sex and then take on all the acceptable roles of that sex (using sex here because I am mocking the idea of the innate biological desire of women to do housework as a way of being able to tell that someone is a legitimate trans woman)

the context is the personal part of the story about “glen/glenda” played by ed wood, who of course was a transvestite and so you can’t help but see the script (also by ed wood) as akin to “different from the others” -- if more exploitation film in style -- a plea for tolerance that’s using medical language as a form of authentication

there’s real gold nuggets in this movie, especially in its depiction of what we now would call transphobia as ill-fitting in the modern society of 1953 (sigh)

least strong moment was that it ended with “glen” transferring the “glenda” persona into (his?) now-wife, barbara, on advice from the psychiatrist (yeah, it’s just as messy as it sounds) and the movie in this case affirming that good ol’ heteronormativity would fix “him” (literally calling barbara his mother, sister, wife, and glenda, so she no longer gets to be barbara I guess? it was very odd, and came a bit outta nowhere)

most strong moment was bela lugosi using his magic powers to poof someone’s gender, thank you bela, we owe you!

also was personally into the choice of bela lugosi, even if he wasn’t always used uh... in ways that made sense. they were clearly trying to imbue horror tropes into what is definitely not a horror movie, at one point invoking frankenstein (yaay, susan stryker), but where he really worked was in the marrying of the ideas of horror-that-is-non-acceptance with the... I guess magic? magic-that-is-horror-but-good of gender affirming surgery?

gender-as-horror-society-as-horror-intolerance-as-horror -- it wasn’t always done perfectly, but it was very neat to see it

#glen or glenda #im watching queer movies #im watching movies #long post #im watching glen or glenda #queer cinema #queer history

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sorryyourenglishteachersucked · 1 year

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Possibly my biggest problem with trying to make hard and fast rules about what kind of Problematic Subjects (TM) people are Not Allowed to Like or Create At All is that it's always so EXTREMELY limited in scope, so reductive about what constitutes "problematic", that it functionally ends up sorting stories into "as common-sense-bad as serving fried babies in the stands at a puppy-kicking contest and thus depiction of it is just as evil because if the story is fun or cathartic in ANY way someone might take it as saying it's good to reenact (because that's what common-sense-bad means, that people can be convinced it's good that easily)" or "wholesome perfectly imitable aspirational goodness that you should strive to recreate in the real world, no flaws, this is what utopia looks like, this is the ideal", and NOTHING in between exists, CAN exist...

And because human emotions are an irrational mess, this ends up meaning that a LOT of stuff showing some MAJOR unexamined biases ends up getting defensively shunted into the latter category.

How?

Hey, booktok! Look at this far-future military culture bravely standing up against aliens who are, by both their culture and their very genetic nature, just too evil and warlike to EVER reason with! Nearly 30% of the named characters are women including our lead couple and we have two trans characters too and we EVEN take 20 whole seconds to address the reasons that a military still exists at all so there's nothing sexist or problematic here! It's all but a post-patriarchal utopia! Never mind that everyone still looks down on survival skills like textile creation and sewing and gardening and cooking as soft frivolous nonsense only applicable to homemaking, that's a TRUE FACT and definitely not just an internalized bias because the author lives in a society where those are ~for giiIiIIrrRrRrllLLs~, and there's nothing even slightly questionable about the fact that the innately evil aliens are basically orcs transposed into a sci-fi setting, shhhh, orcs have never been written in a way that carries any kind of baggage, no more questions, don't you want cute lesbians surviving against the odds? What are you, some kind of homophobe!?

This also carries over to relationship dynamics; consider how...for all they get held up as the height of wholesome cuteness, coffee shop AUs aren't ~unproblematic~ at all. Sure, in the context of the story we can tell that the character cast as the barista is interested, but if that were a real-life situation? The only one who would be able to know if they're interested or not would be them, thanks to the limitations of Customer Service Mode. You can't ethically enter a relationship with someone in a situation where they don't have a safe way to firmly and unambiguously say no, and guess what, that's what most coffee shop meetings are! You see unproblematic fluff; well, when you call it that I just see workplace harassment. I'm not gonna say anyone can't write or enjoy these AUs! But I AM gonna side-eye the hell out of anyone who insists they're ~perfectly wholesome goodness~...at least, as long as the characters don't have an age gap greater than 2 years or so; if they DO have an age gap (and yes it still counts if it exists in canon but not in your fic) THERE'S an irreconcilable power dynamic! The only one in play here. Everything else about this scenario is 100% imitable and wholesome and healthy and fine!

...yeah. No. That's not how this works. That's not how any of this works.

See, one of the big problems with the whole Irredeemable Media mindset is that it declares that if you DON'T make that argument, and make it convincingly, you're not allowed to like this thing and still call yourself a Good Person; if you do like this thing, and you can't justify why it's wholly Unproblematic and totally okay to reenact irl, you're morally equivalent to an actual, literal child molester (and that one is not hyperbole but in fact the most common accusation flung over this).

But the problem is, Liking Things is an emotional response, not a rational choice. Liking Things is not something you consciously decide to do after evaluating that the Thing is 100% consistent with your worldview; it's just something that Happens.

So, look. To simplify it to a short paragraph, media analysis is supposed to work like this: you examine the piece of media and the events in it and the world it illustrates, you ask yourself what context it was written in, you ask yourself about the culture it originated from and how that influence shows in the end result, you ask yourself what about it resonated with you, for better, worse, and neutral, and from there, at the end of the process, you draw your conclusions about What It Means and how it relates to real-world issues and human behavior and whether or not you'd recommend it to others, and if so, to whom.

But when you follow this liking-media-is-a-one-to-one-reflection-of-one's-real-world-values mindset, what often ends up happening is that you get the process backward and engage in some dangerous circular reasoning: You Like This Piece. You Are A Good Person. Therefore, This Piece Is Good. You Like It, Therefore It Reflects Your Values, Therefore Its Values Are Good. It Is Not Problematic, Otherwise You Would Not Like It.

Ironically, that approach is far more inclined to make you want to accept some really fucked up ideas because your favorite piece of media contains them, than delighting in liking problematic trash ever would. Why?

Because you're not analyzing a piece of media, you're defending your own entire character. Your value as a moral human being. Your inherent goodness. Your ticket to heaven. You're defending all of this as if you're on trial. In order for You to still be Good, your favorite piece of media must also be Good, meaning everything about it must be Good. Those space orcs don't have any racist baggage, because they're not human! There is certainly no history of Black and indigenous people being compared to races of inhuman monsters; in fact, anyone who points out how their broad noses and war paint and the dark tones of their blue skin do indeed have some Implications in racial coding, those people are full of shit, those people are the REAL racists for making the comparison! And, and anyone who suggests that your coffee shop AU, when read through a lens of realism, is just as questionable about consent as any pulp bodice-ripper, and that both of these subgenres use romance genre conventions as a shorthand for consent instead of showing it explicitly and that's okay as long as the target audience also understands what's going on - no, absolutely not, clearly this is just a bad-faith argument to hold up an ACTUAL problematic ship, you're nothing like those trashy edgelord authors, see, the barista laughed at and leaned into the flirty joke, no one in the history of customer service work has EVER done that as a professional courtesy or to prevent a conflict from escalating while silently wishing the interaction was over and wondering if the customer is going to stalk them after their shift, or at least no one is a good enough actor that if they were thinking that you wouldn't be able to tell, the consent was totally clear and totally illustrated 100% realistically!

Whereas, if you just admit to yourself that, yeah, okay, the author of Fight The Aliens And Make It Lesbian definitely tried to make something overall positive, and oh boy did they ever deliver in terms of letting a diverse cast be action heroes and examining how that kind of stress can affect a person and how people can still find joy in the direst of situations, but they still had some unexamined biases that show through and it's worth addressing so we can do even better in the future; or that actually, yeah, the reason the customer/barista meet cute is fun to fantasize about is because the nature of the narrative eliminates the uncertainty about everyone's intentions, even though it's every bit as inimitable as professor/student in reality (and holy shit more people need to be aware of that actually, workplace harassment is fucking rampant) - that shows far more moral integrity than trying to jump through hoops to justify these things. Under the other model, you were bending over backward to give these things a pass to prove you weren't a Bad Person for liking them, and in the process defending some genuinely indefensible ideas and irl behavior. Now, you're just letting yourself be a human person with emotions that don't necessarily equal something you should act on, or even that you would ENJOY acting on - I mean really now, when you stop and think about it, would you actually want to try and flirt with your blorbo over the cafe counter when you get nervous even just ordering coffee from a normal person?

#media #media critique #media analysis #problematic media #sorry your english teacher sucked

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tiredtief · 7 hours

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oh good u opened inbox just in time so i can ask. why do u continue to support grimes despite every thing bad she did while also being shitty to lady gaga fans for nothing

that was fast lmfao

Is this what the 'you harass people' shit was about? Me 'being shitty' to LG fans? Cuz I really don't recall attacking any specific LG fan, all I've done is post my irritation at the general belief that she is some infallibly kind/unproblematic kween when she has demonstrably appropriated Armenian imagery, culture, and art for a frankly mid music video (bad) and then refused to speak up about the literal Armenian war/genocide that occurred not long after that mv dropped (worse) - and yes, I know the argument will be she might not have known, but it is common knowledge that she is friends with Elton John who posted multiple pro-Armenian things in that timeframe, and plenty of people called her out on it directly anyway, so I refuse to believe she was/is completely unaware.

An important distinction here is that I am not advocating for anyone else to drop LG if they do not want to, I am simply refuting the 'uwu unproblematic goddess' takes and bringing up my specific reason for dumping her music and refusing to support her further. People have stopped supporting artists for less, so I see no issue with me not liking/supporting her for this incredibly personal reason as a literal Armenian myself.

My general policy for art and music at this point is that it is basically impossible for you to find a creative who doesn't exhibit some problematic behavior or attitudes especially within music, and that there can be a case made to separate art from artist. I love Peter Gabriel and Pink Floyd and they did AI shit for music videos. I love Mr.Kitty and he was a literal pedophile (and I actually did stop listening to his music after this came out, until it was confirmed all royalties would be diverted away from him to someone else, in which case I felt it would be acceptable to continue listening). Notch (Minecraft creator) is a huge anti-Semite (and is also no longer benefiting from royalties). Billie Eilish has espoused radfem rhetoric. Stephenie Meyer (Twilight author) horribly represented a group of Native Americans and never apologized for it nor paid them a dime of the millions that the movies/books made. Literally very week a classic emo/alt band member is outed for being a pervert. If you drop every solitary creator for being a shithead you'll have no art left in your life, unfortunately - it is a much better use of your time to acknowledge the problems with these creators (or drop those who are particularly egregious to you/using their funding towards bigoted causes*) than to hide your head in the sand and say 'uhhh ackshually Miku made it' each time.

Yes, Grimes has said some weird and questionable shit (though imho I think they are just genuinely stupid/entitled and/or misspeak what they really mean in an attempt to sound smart or because they just feel the need to talk - but that's speculation) - however, I am not a fan of Grimes because of c./Claire Boucher, I am a fan of Grimes because the collective concept of 'Grimes music' slaps and is also special to me. I don't believe there's a problem with saying 'I like their music but I think they're an absolute moron'.

*And before someone attempts to bring up the argument of JK Terfling, Grimes is in no way donating their royalties and revenue to bigoted causes (that we know of, obviously) - in fact they've vocally supported trans rights and Vivian (Elon's trans daughter) multiple times. The reason people insist on not supporting JKR in monetary ways is because doing so is directly funding anti-trans movements. If Grimes decides to start funding bigoted causes, then yes, I will rescind my support, but if the worst they have is stupid tweets and dumbass interview quotes (two things they have been notorious for for years now and have always amounted to absolutely nothing of substance) then I don't see an issue.

If you want to waste your time going after fans who are blindly supporting a bigot who actually donates to problematic causes, then consider bothering the people on this site that continue to fawn over FNAF, when the creator of that franchise is a known extreme Republican who has been proven to have donated large sums towards Donald Trump. But no one is ready for that conversation - some of you aren't even ready to take your Hogwarts houses out of your bios.

#mailbox #anonymous #fucking hell i was about to go to bed #i look forward to hemorrhaged follower count when i wake up

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mangodestroyer · 2 years

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Gotta love how me being trans continues to be a huge fucking problem for everyone. Not in the sense that it makes people hateful or violent. They literally just cannot believe me or accept it.

As a kid, I insisted constantly that I didn't want to be a girl. That I WASN'T one. That I would much rather be a boy. I would constantly participate in boyish interests and clearly look very happy wearing boy clothes. But of course, if you ask my mother, I was "always very feminine."

And for a while, I started acting super feminine to "fit in" and because I got sick of constantly defending my boyish interests. I never felt happy being femme though. Tbh, wearing things that are feminine and looking in the mirror while doing so makes me want to rip my fucking skin off. Having people emphasize how "girly" and "feminine" I am makes me die inside. And I remember once even my friend, out of nowhere, said, "You're happy being a girl!" and I just lost my shit.

So I finally started to embrace how I always felt inside, and suddenly everyone's all like, "Yeah, no. You're 100% feminine. There's no way you're trans." I'm not even kidding, not a single person seems to believe me about it when I tell them. So yeah... guess I'll just keep doing things to make myself more comfortable with my own identity and continue to accept the fact that I'll never pass. I remember now why I started suppressing this part of myself because I feel pretty miserable about this. I think I forgot just how much people are opposed to me identify as more masc.

It's the same thing with my neurodiversity too. Despite having a diagnosed condition, I'm still just a socially awkward neurotypical looking for excuses and attention ig. Even though there's a lot of evidence to suggest that I'm actually even less NT than previously believed.

Why the fuck is it so hard for people to accept that not everyone is cishet and NT anyway? And why the fuck does everyone act like they know me better than I know myself? Would it really disrupt the balance of the universe if I happen to be neurodivergent and go by "he" or "they?" All I'm asking for is... idk... understanding and acceptance? Yet they act like I'm trying to steal 100,000 dollars from them or something. Like me explaining these things to them is so fucking offensive and disruptive to their very existence.

This is one reason I hate people. It's such a small effort to acknowledge that someone might not identify the way you thought they did. How they thought they did. And would it really hurt to let them try the identity out and see if it works? I'm not even personally going for surgeries or anything. I just want to start dressing, looking, and acting more masculine. Who would I even be hurting? And so what if it turns out I'm wrong? If I'm wrong, I can stop doing it.

Same with the neurodiversity, honestly. So it turns out my brains a little different and I need to live my life a little differently? Big fucking deal. It's really not that disruptive to anyone else's livelihood. God forbid I practice a certain routine and self-care that actually helps me feel more mentally equipped to deal with life. I'm not even asking to be accommodated at my job or school! All I'm asking is for people to understand that I get overstimulated and CAN'T HAVE LOUD NOISES IN MY OWN LITTLE RETREAT! Pretty sure even a NT needs a place to get away when things become overwhelming.

It blows my fucking mind how identifying with anything outside of the norm is such a crime for these people. And how these armchair psychologists think they get to dictate what I am. People who are actually educated in this field are the ones who suggested the neurodiversity thing to me and EVEN DIAGNOSED ME with my communication disorder when I was a kid.

I literally cannot even begin to express how fucking tired of this shit I am. I almost wonder if people are doing this out of malicious intent to trigger my dysphoria and gaslight me over my own life experience to mess with my head.

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katyspersonal · 2 years

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The BIG problem with "privilege" flex

Another reason why I insist on allowing everyone speak and be listened without "privilege" dick contest is the absolutely ABSURD penetrability of the whole thing in internet spaces.

What is the reason to be "cis"? No, seriously. Like, okay, cast aside situation within families and focus on westernised internet spaces - that are like... pretty much a place of dwelling and developing projects or even small business for many people these days, for sympathetic reasons or not, but it is a fact - these spaces are more needed than people who 'have real life unlike you online loosers' typically claim. Logically, what is the reason to id as cis here?

You get shunned from discussions, you can't have opinion on gender or expressions, you are permanently seen as oppressor and ignorant enemy, some mistakes (that everyone makes) are blamed on your identity and not on the person you are... Why not just change it? Society agreed that you don't need dysphoria for it - and if you think otherwise, you are a disgusting transmed and nobody will want you near, right? (I am ironising in case it isn't obvious) You don't even have to change much...? If you are a feminine woman - you can jump into being feminine she/they nonbinary without as much as the slightest change in your wardrobe, yet you will already get the power to shun them ignorant and malicious cis women for that. Especially there is no reason to be a cis man - you get blamed for literally everything and seen as stupid, violent sexist EVEN by cis women. Like... you didn't even do shit, you just exist as who you are and therefore cause people suffering and benefit from it or something. That's the narrative, right, and everyone who disagrees is 'handmaid' or 'MRA' or whatever labels woke people use as a mark of a person to bully and not show any respect to. Choosing to become a trans woman would instantly turn you from a class everyone hates (except for the disgusting incels and Trump mobs I guess???) into a very loved and supported and respected person.

What is the reason for being a bi woman? Tired of hearing how you are privileged and "will never understand" and safe because you "indulge in hetero behavior" and get side eyed as someone invalid in discussion if you do date a man? Just go with the route of saying you are a lesbian trapped in comphet behavior all of your life and need help weeding attraction to men society influenced you with! And if someone doubts your honesty - they are a bigot that doesn't let people discover themselves; yet you are automatically given more weight in discussions.

Okay, fine, I am ironizing a lot, but this is how things be. Like… You see the problem? With many things, there is just... no way to check? Like, there is no detector of how 'honest' someone's identity is, no exam to be 'accepted' as trans or even lesbian, someone just says they are this now - and that's it. Instant right to be mean to more "privileged" people.

It strongly reminds me of creativity debate. If only victims of incest/CSA can write fanfics about such thing - why won't someone who REALLY wants to tell a story like this just lie about trauma to be left alone? If only black people can participate in the event of redrawing characters as black - why won't some person of other race who REALLY wants to take part in the trend just lie about being black but not wanting to post selfies because they fear an EX stalker or something?

As long as you can ensure the disconnection between your persona and things that could harm you (for example, if living in LGBT+phobic place - ensure they can't learn a thing), you can just choose one thing over another and them internet people will instantly respect you more.

Choosing to change identity itself is not bad. What IS bad is combination of penetrability (not avoidable, can't pass or fail "identity exam") and ridiculous shift in who deserves more respect (AVOIDABLE). Again, there is no even logical point in staying the identity people will hate and see as an enemy. The only real reason, given you accept variety of people, is... honour? The whole 'yeah, people see me as enemy and silence and disrespect me for who I am, but at least I am honest with myself'. Like... doesn't. that state. sound. fucking. FAMILIAR?? Is this like... not the exact thing people were trying to exterminate?

I feel like history never teaches people that changing who bullies who is not the answer to any sort of injustice. Instead of swinging the pendulum the different way, you need to stop the pendulum from swinging altogether. And this IS, in fact, ironic that history teaches people nothing, given how often they use "historical oppression" to justify being outright malicious to groups of people based on what their 'ancestors' did.

It will also end up, if not already gotten this way, that more people in close proximity with internet and media (for this or that reason) end up feeling pressured into breaking who they really are. Why being seen as an enemy or not worthy to listen to and respect? And the inequality in discussions. This is exactly why I insist that everyone deserves to be heard if they extend thought, and have actual opinions rather than compulsively repeat some mantra.

Needless to mention that it should go both ways - if someone refuses to consider a perfectly logical take based only on the speaker being woman/trans/gay/etc, they are just as much of a prick. However, this clown internet turned into sort of a very hostile waiting game until which side chooses to compromise and have civil discussion without identity-based disrespect - yet I very often see the "privileged" people being open to listen and consider most of the time, but woke people never having enough and witch-hunting others for smallest disagreement based on identity and always saying that they do not have to do anything! They do not owe anyone respect or basic logic! They are "oppressed" so that somehow gives them right to deliberately damage discussions and antagonise people and not put any effort into peace, and then be surprised why, after they did nothing to ensure civility, they only gained more enemies? Well, they are not really surprised - they know the answer. For them the answer is always that the opponent was too "privileged" - therefore evil and ignorant.

What matters is WHAT is said, not WHO says it. In every discussion. Appeal to the presumed motivation is counter-productive. And lets not ignore that everyone has a right to still agree to disagree and mind their own business away from you, regardless of who they are. This shift in rights for respect and civility will cost people identity crisis and needless fights, if not worse.

#internets #/vent #disco horse #use later #i really do not know which god i should pray to to recover my patience because i've lost it and it just doesn't heal back #i mean sooner or later i will stop caring and just go full individualist mode #only appear in the internet to share memes and art but nothing of 'self'#it seems like the (not too bad) ending most people like me come to but past age of like... 27? 28?#i guess i am just too young to stop being angry about how absurd things became but also too old to be shunned based on identity either #it is a bad age. too old to cope but too young to just not care at all #brb gonna hibernate for 2 years and wake up in complete internal peace and distance from all earthly dsffdsgsdf #like honestly if i had a coin every time someone older tells me 'i was like you but i just stopped caring about the clownery'#i'd probably pay all my debts fjshhdfsfds #siiiiigh...#this is still frustrating #none of this is right or fair or justified

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transmascissues · 3 years

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transandrophobia is that problem, though. we already had a term a lot of us used- transmisandry- and then someone who had an arbitrary problem with the word misandry (not to mention all the other stuff) decided to coin a new word that essentially defined trans men out of it entirely. transandrophobia might be an okay word for nonbinary people but trans men never asked. i get that transmasc people can be men but if you're genderqueer-transmasc and not a binary man then why are you SO insistent on being in our space and telling us how to act? to think you're trying to develop a "transmasc feminist theory", lmao.

“p.s. the fact that you consistently use the terminology "a transmasc" instead of "transmasc person" is embarrassing. at least pretend you actually respect the rest of us.”

y’all are fucking exhausting lmao

first of all, I AM A TRANS MAN, you don’t have to be 100% binary to be a man so you can drop that now

second of all, transandrophobia was literally coined *by a trans man*??? like transandrophobia etymologically means “hatred of trans men”, trans men have in no way been defined out of it??? learn what the fuck you’re talking about before you get mad at me for it

you’re not going to get another nice long response from me explaining why you’re wrong like y’all don’t know exactly what you’re doing

if you hate me so much, get the fuck off anon and start doing this work yourself. judging by the messages i’ve gotten thanking me for what i do here, i can almost guarantee i’ve done more for other trans men than your weird misdirected hatred ever will

thanks for being part of the reason that advocating for us is so exhausting ❤️ (/s)

#ask answered #anon hate

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rjalker · 2 years

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[ID: The "I am once again asking" meme of Bernie Sanders, edited to say,

"I am once again asking you to read The Murderbot Diaries so there can be more non-bigots in this fandom who will actually have intelligent conversation about the casual transmisia in this series instead of just going 'it/its pronouns bad' or insisting that stories about trans characters should never actually talk about trans experiences like explaining how to use your pronouns corectly or telling people your pronouns, especially when the protagonist is agender.

I want other people who use it/its pronouns to be in this fandom so that other people can stop acting like we only exist in fiction". End ID.]

seriously. I want more nonbinary people in this fandom who use neopronouns and won't insist that they/them is the only non-binary pronoun anyone needs. I want more people who use it/its pronouns in this fandom so we can actually talk about how Murderbot does in fact fit the nonbinary robot stereotype without acting like the problem is it using it/its pronouns isntead of the problem being that there are no human character who use it/its pronouns. I want more touch-averse people in this fandom so we can drown out the athiktomisic assholes who think touch-aversion is just something that needs to be cured by romance or sex. I want more aroace people in this fandom who do not want romantic, sexual, or queerplatonic relationships so that we can drown out the amisic amatanormativity worshippers who insist that Murderbot needs to have a Relationship™ in order to be truly happy and heal from its trauma.

Join the Murderbot fandom. Let the fandom actually be filled with the kinds of people Murderbot actually represents. I'm tired of people who do not share Murderbot's identities speaking over people who do to defend bigotry that Murderbot would literally loathe them for perpetuating.

#Rjalker reads The Murderbot Diaries #The Murderbot Diaries #Murderbot #aroace #agender #it/its #ititspronouns #touch-averse #actuallytouchaverse #athiktomisia #solitaremit #actuallysolitaremit #actually solitaremit #solitaremitiy #canonically solitaremit characters #solitaremit characters #Murderbot is solitaremit

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asexual-means-no-attraction · 3 years

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i don't understand how you don't "believe" in nonbinary genders. you might say "show me the scientific research that proves it exists" but like, doesn't the fact that many cultures around the world have recognized genders outside of the binary for centuries prove it exists? it's just so surprising to still see "there are only 2 genders" people these days, the world isn't so black and white.

For me the issue with nonbinary as a concept isn't "there isn't any science behind it" but rather the way it conflates gender to gender roles as well as how it is described.

It's often times described as 1. A feeling. This doesn't work since gender isnt a feeling. I don't feel like a man. I am a man. There is a similar issue with the trans community doing this too.

2. Not connecting to gender roles. This is not a gender thing at all. Many MANY nonbinary people describe their gender via gender roles and not conforming to them. This is bad because gender itself has nothing to do with gender roles, is different depending on the culture, and also pushes the idea that anyone who goes against gender roles is nonbinary which isn't true at all. I've seen people treat it like a social movement against gender roles while others treat it as a full on gender with gender dysphoria and everything. It's way too many contradictory things. Not to mention the people who insist anyone who is gender nonconformiting is nonbinary, including binary trans people-- which is pretty shitty. It ain't your place to tell someone they aren't their gender.

3. Many saying they're not apart of the gender binary while also saying they are binary. Ex: people who id as a non-binary women. It's like there are multiple different definitions of non binary.

4. The push to use binary terms for people who are not apart of the gender binary. Ex: people who are non-binary calling themselves lesbians/gay. Those are terms based off of binary genders. It doesn't make sense for someone who isn't apart of the binary to use them. Again, it just feels like the rules just don't actually exist or they keep changing.

5. Uses really awful examples of "3rd genders" from other cultures. For example 2 spirit in native american culture (literally how they decribe anyone who's LGBT in their culture and has been pointed out by so many native americans that it is NOT another gender). But I've seen so many people say it's some 3rd gender. There are a lotta other examples too where the supposed 3rd gender is less of a 3rd gender and more gnc men being forced into sex work as the only way to survive and being treated as less than human. I don't remember the exact names of all of the examples cuz it's 2 am right now and I don't feel like doing a buncha research right now. But these aren't hard things to find.

6. Of the gender dysphoric nonbinary people I've met, they seem to describe their dysphoria in ways that feel more like they just haven't realized their gender yet, just that they aren't the one they were born with. I've met many a people who used to ID as non binary but now as a binary gender. This isn't to say that there aren't actual dysphoric nonbinary people, I can't say there are or aren't. But there is something to be said with how all the different and changing rules of what non binary is and what it's like has caused confusion for trans people to discover themselves. And I never see that addressed within the nonbinary community.

I don't have any actual problem with the idea of having more than 2 genders. My problem is how this discussion has been approached. It's treating gender like something that can change on a whim based on culture and many people within the nonbinary community seem to constantly change the rules of what does and doesn't count. Not to mention the doors it's opened to the mogai community which adds on stargender and a lot more ridiculous and transphobic shit.

There's a lot of issues that stem from within the nonbinary community that when someone brings up are ignored and the person demonized. I won't tell someone they aren't non binary. It's not my place and my issue again isn't the concept of nonbinary. It's how it's been treated and how many different directions it's been defined that don't make sense as well as a lot of really shitty shit that's been used to back up their claims.

#ask #answered #discourse #nonbinary discourse #lgbt discourse

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ashdumpsterpile · 3 years

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I know you talk abou st*cky in the interracial ships stuff, but can we talk about st*ny? Iron husbands is literally right there, but I also always sees Rhodey as Tonys moral support only. And ik Tony is very shippable with most characters, but the fact his ship is Rhodey is one of the lowest ships in ao3 (ironstrange, winteriron and god forbid stark*r all had more fics in ao3).. It's pretty telling this side also has racism problems...

I'll go ahead and answer this here, but letting y'all know that I do have a marvel sideblog if you want to hit me up there (@themarvelarchives).

Hey, I'm going to ramble for a good minute.

So after I posted my very incoherent, controversial take on St*cky vs SamBucky, there were a ton of ppl who came onto anon saying that St*cky shippers were racist. I think I only answered a few, but y'all were pretty insistent on it. I personally have not observed that St*cky shippers are so I'm not calling anyone out on that side of the fandom for that.

I also did not call out anyone on this side of the fandom bc that's not what my meta was about. I think I mentioned maybe once or twice in the whole post that there was underlying racist in the fandom, but since you asked, we can talk about it here.

Covert Bigotry In Fandom Spaces.

To understand what's going on in the MCU, we have to first look at what I call "woke-queer" fandom.

So "Woke-Queer" Spaces is the phenomenon where certain fandom members like to call ppl out on their bigotry, while covertly harboring their own queerphobia/racism/etc. An example of this that we're all familiar with is TERFS and how they like to claim that they are progressive and woke, while also claiming that trans women are fake and trans men are sexist.

How this translates to fandom, however, is the hypocrisy that is cancellation and callout culture.

For example, Supernatural in particular is a fandom that likes to call out the writers on their homophobia and racism, and yet, somehow, the fandom is chalk full of homophobia and racism. If you want to read more about this, here is a truly excellent article from the perspective of a queer woman of color.

Moving on, I've also talked in a previous meta post, on the internalized acephobia that exploded in 2019 after Good Omens was released. Rather than reiterate everything I said in that post, I'll just leave it at this: the controversy in the Good Omens fandom can be summed up by the fact that queer audiences are claiming that Ineffable Husbands is the wrong kind of queer. The hypocrisy oozes off the screen, doesn't it?

A final way this viably translates to fandom, is in how the Doctor Who fandom evolved over time.

So Steven Moffat takes over as head writer and showrunner in 2010. It's a new series, a new Doctor, a new Tardis, and new branding. He steps up the action, changes the color grating, and raises the stakes. Women are sexier, the Doctor is smarter (and more of an asshole, but that's another meta post), and every companion comes with their own impossible mystery that makes them Special™.

Series 5-10 got tons of woke points for having lesbian characters, an episode where the Doctor is homoerotic with James Corden, and an underlying trans narrative with the Master's reincarnation. What a lot of people forget, however, is that his series was incredibly sexiest, incredibly lesbian/biphobic, and basically turned the Doctor into everyone's fantasy sex-object.

This, unfortunately, brought out the worst of the fandom. There was RTD Era vs Moffat Era wars exploding in certain corners, TenxRose shippers vs ElevenxRiver shippers.

What does this have to do with covert racism in fandom cultures though?

Hnnngng ok, so back in RTD era's we get Martha Jones, the Actual Best Companion On The Entire Show. Except for the fact, of course, that she is written to be in love with the doctor. She's a brilliant character--smart, sassy, flawed, funny, flirtatious--and her entire plotline is reduced down to a school-girl crush on a white man.

She doesn't do well with fans, they scrap her after one season.

We move on to Donna Noble (The Other Actual Best Companion On The Entire Show) and RTD's era ends with them scraping her too and regenerating David Tennant's Doctor.

It will be five more series (not seasons, SERIES) until Doctor Who will have another black companion--who gets extra points for being gay--only to fall victim to "bury your gays" at the end of the season (but not really bc no one stays dead on Doctor Who).

The fandom's reception of Martha Jones was historically bad. The comparisons to her predecessor, Rose Tyler, were rampant and everyone was finding a reason to hate her.

The fandom's reception to Bill Potts was also historically bad, as everyone was screaming that she was being written for more "woke points" and that they wanted Clara back.

Fandom has a historically bad reputation of being problematic and, I would argue, the majority of it has to do with these toxic undertones of bigotry that slip under the radar. "Woke-queer" spaces, as I call them, are these instances above where spaces that claim to be inclusive of gender/orientation/race are covertly bigoted.

Marvel and Cancelling

Now is an excellent time to talk about the MCU.

Anthony Mackie (Sam Wilson) has recently come under a lot of criticism from fandom members for shutting down shipper speculation.

"The idea of two guys being friends and loving each other in 2021 is a problem because of the exploitation of homosexuality. [...] something as pure and beautiful as homosexuality has been exploited by people who are trying to rationalize themselves."

I can't find the rest of the quote, but Mackie goes on further to say that it was important to him to portray "a sensitive, masculine figure" without insinuating that there was romance involved.

Woke culture lost it's shit. Everyone was suddenly claiming that Mackie was calling them exploitative for shipping a gay ship as a queer audience, which could not have been further from the case.

Mackie actually makes some very excellent points in that sensitivity is not gay/queer. Woke culture loves to rag on Toxic Masculinity, but the minute someone plays a character who is loving and sensitive with no queer narrative in mind, they are immediately canceled.

What Am I On About

Okay, let's actually address what your ask was about, Nonnie. You pointed out--rather truthfully--that it is unfair to call-out racism on one side of the fandom, while ignoring it on the other side.

Well, I've gone back through my St*cky vs. SamBucky analysis (which is incoherent at best, I apologize for that) and I see maybe once instance where I called out fandom members for being racist. Here's what I had to say about racism:

"[...] Iron Husbands is a rarepair, probably because it’s an interracial ship."

"[there is] nothing wrong with shipping two white men, but it does become a problem when you ignore/bash POC/interracial ships to the determinant of your own white ship."

And then there was the post you brought up where I addressed interracial ships in the fandom. That one is probably more relevant to this topic, to be honest, as I actually addressed fandom racism there. I assume that your reason for bringing up Stony is because it's a ship that is more relevant to my side of the fandom, HOWEVER, the reason I highlighted Stucky instead was because I was comparing the fact that they've both been around the same amount of time and are relationships that feature the protagonist and their best friend.

You brought up St*ny in the ask, however, so I'm going to talk about St*ny for a minute.

As someone who never has nor will ship St*ny, it never even occurred to me that some of the problem behind the Iron Husbands tag being so small is because everyone ships the white, boring ship. You brought up a very valid point, but because I was never in that part of the fandom, I can't really speak to any possible underlying racism there, besides what I've already said above.

I would be interested in hearing a St*ony shipper or ex-St*ony shippers thought on this, but sadly I don't know any. If you have any more thoughts regarding this, Nonnie, pls drop back into my inbox.

You do make some excellent points in this ask though, and I would like to talk about racism on my side of the fandom.

So back to Mackie and his Twitter cancellation. Notice that Disney made him address the rumors and not his co-star, Sebastian Stan. Anthony Mackie is put on blast and made to answer fan demands and receives backlash, while Sebastian Stan gets to fly under the rader. This is not, by the way, a criticism of Stan, but instead of the blatant racism Disney has been displaying over the past few years.

How this ties in with the rest of my post has to do with my "woke-queer" spaces bit. The outcry across the MCU fandom over Mackie was swift and unforgiving. He was cancelled on charges of homophobia and bigotry--all the while these same fans turn a blind eye to any queer interpretation of other interracial ships and discourse in their own fandom.

The racism that I'm speaking about, of course, is an almost passive racism. Of course if you don't ship a specific ship for reasons other than their race, it's perfectly fine. It's okay not to ship Iron Husbands or SamBucky or any other interracial fandom ships. However, the distinct lack of shippers in the fandom IS telling because there are people who would ship that exact ship if not for the fact that one of men is black.

I don't have much more to say about this except to thank you for bringing it up and for listening to my long rambling post.

(Feel free to bug me about Tony Stark, MCU ships, MCU Meta and anything you want to talk me about on this blog and @themarvelarchives.)

#this got long sorry #iron husbands #sambucky #james rhodes #tony stark #sam wilson #anthony mackie #doctor who #moffat critical #my meta #ash does meta #ash does fandom #marvel #mcu #fandom critical #fandom criticism #long post

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nowoyas · 4 years

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This is Home (NSFW)

A/N: Title references the song This is Home by Cavetown, which you can’t tell me isn’t an entire trans mood. Give it a listen, y’all. It’s one of my faves <3

This fic is part of @birds-have-teeth‘s Izumonth collab to celebrate Izuku’s birth month. For the lineup, head over here!

(izuku with binder edit and overall banner both made by me)

Summary: When your boyfriend starts distancing himself not long into your relationship, you decide to confront him and remind him just how loved he is. (trans!Izuku x reader)

Notes: Izuku is a pre-op, pre-T trans man for this fic. Reader is implied to be a cis girl. I am trans. In this fic, I am writing Izuku experiencing something I have and do struggle with and I swear to god if anyone clowns in my inbox because I wrote this I will literally fling them out the window, killing them instantly. Not on this one, assholes.

Warnings: smut, oral (reader giving), gender dysphoria, smut smut smut, I cried but you might not

Word count: 5555 (sexy)

Izuku has been avoiding you.

It's not obvious, not at first. Your honestly wonderful boyfriend is more than happy to text you good morning and good night as always, even on the nights where he goes to sleep at 4AM, and it's not as though the amount of cute emoji following the texts has changed. He still eats breakfast with you after his (very early) morning run, still eats lunch with you and your combined friend group, still eats dinner with you whenever he doesn't forget to eat. (You're working on getting him to remember to eat at all the right times.)

But one-on-one study sessions get cancelled. He now trains seemingly whenever you can't, even though you used to train together all the time. It's all the small things, like how he used to kiss you suddenly all the time whenever it was just the two of you, but now, you're hardly ever alone together often enough even if he still did. And maybe you're imagining it, but the usual sleep and wake texts are less enthusiastic than before.

You want to believe that maybe the two of you are just progressing from the honeymoon stage of your relationship, but this doesn't feel like progress.

This feels like distance.

This feels like he’s afraid to be alone with you.

You don't want to pry, but something's up with him, and you've got an inkling of exactly what. One thing's for certain, though—you're not letting him go another day thinking he can't talk to you about it. Knowing him, no matter what the issue is, he's convinced himself it would bother you for him to ask for reassurance or something to that effect.

And so, perhaps a bit shamelessly, you corner him.

Well, not physically. You're not that mean.

But when you knock on his door when you know he's there alone and he answers, you don't give him a chance to brush you off. You shove your way right into his room and take a seat on the edge of his bed.

"Talk," you demand, crossing your arms as he flusters and shuts the door behind him.

"[n-name], is something wrong—"

"Talk," you repeat, leveling a glare at him. "You've been acting weird around me lately. If it's something you're not comfortable talking about, that's okay, but if I've done something to make you avoid me, I want to talk about it and figure out how to fix it."

Izuku flinches, taking an awkward seat on his bed. (The other end of his bed. You try not to let show just how much that stings.)

"Y-you haven't done anything wrong," he forces out evenly, not looking at you. "I swear."

You shift closer to him, placing a hand over his own. "Izuku, look at me."

Green eyes meet yours. There's guilt there, and an underlying fear with a source you can only guess at.

"I love you, babe. I want to help you. You don't have to let me, but I really—fuck—" You sniff, pulling back to wipe at your eyes before you let any tears fall. "—shit, sorry. I just... I'm worried about you, and I don't want to lose you, y'know?"

He panics, crossing the distance between you within moments to pull you into a tight hug. His hand winds into your hair, the other settling in the small of your back and rubbing soothingly as he shushes you. "No, oh my god, angel, I-I never meant to make you think you did anything wrong. Really, it's not you, it's me!"

Your blood turns to ice in an instant at his words. "T-that's the kind of shit people say when they're explaining why they're breaking up with you, Izuku."

"N-no! That's not—That's not what this is. I love you too, I love you so much, I just... I'm scared, okay?" he admits, face pressed into your neck.

"Scared?"

He nods, hugging you just a smidge tighter. "Yeah. Scared."

"Of what, handsome?" You finally relax into his hold, snuggling into his shoulder with a sigh as you try to rein in the tears.

"It's probably stupid, and it doesn't really matter that much."

"Izuku babe."

"Yes?"

"Did it make you feel something?"

He hesitates before nodding slowly.

"Then it's not stupid, and it matters to me."

Izuku shudders in your arms, mumbling something you don't quite catch.

"I'm sorry, what was that?"

He shifts, repeating himself just loud enough to be heard. "I wanna go further with you but I hate my body and don't want to take my clothes off to do it," he says, speaking so quickly you almost miss it a second time.

You freeze, a light blush on your cheeks. It's true that you've not gone that far with Izuku—he always seemed content just to kiss and cuddle and exchange sweet words behind closed doors, and god, you were happy just to have him in any capacity. Unfortunately—or perhaps fortunately—there's bigger problems at hand than "your cute boyfriend wants to fuck you".

"Oh, Izu," you breathe. "You know you don't have to push yourself, baby. It's okay if you're uncomfortable with—"

"B-but I shouldn't be!" he insists, wriggling away to look into your eyes with a pained look. "I don't wanna be uncomfortable. Not with you. I just... don't know how to... how to not be, and I didn't want things to escalate if I got alone with you because then I'd probably panic and push you away and then you'd probably feel hurt a-and it'd be my fault so I was avoiding you so I couldn’t hurt you before I was ready and then–"

"Izuku," you say firmly. "Don't push yourself for my sake. I'd feel awful knowing you did something like that for me. It's okay if we just kiss. It's okay if we never kiss. What's not okay is you forcing yourself into a dysphoric breakdown because you wanted to please me. If we fuck, I want it to be something we both enjoy, and I can't enjoy it if it's upsetting you or making you uncomfortable."

He tears up, yanking you back into a hug. "I'm s-sorry, [name]."

You laugh, tangling your hands in his curls and gently working knots out with your fingers. "You don't need to apologize, baby. I love you. And you know..."

"Mm?"

You smirk, looping a curl around one finger. Perhaps deliberately, your voice drops into a seductive, teasing voice. "If your biggest problem is either of us seeing your body, there's a few solutions. No one said you had to take your clothes off when we fuck, handsome."

He squeaks, and you swear you can feel his face heating up in your shoulder when he whines. He doesn't protest, so you continue, a grin spreading across your face.

"If you don't want me seeing you, you can always blindfold me," you offer, "or we could turn the lights off, or if you don't want to have to see yourself, I could blindfold you..."

"[N-name]!" Izuku yelps, burying his face into your chest to hide. "Stoooop, oh my god–"

Laughter bubbles from your throat. "Sorry, sorry. But those were honest suggestions. If you really wanna mess around with me a bit, I'm happy to let you set the pace. We kiss as much as you want, however heavy you want... Hell, I might even be into it if you order me around a little. Who knows?"

"O-order you?" You don't have to see him to know how red his face is—you can almost feel it through your top, the rush of embarrassment displayed on his freckled cheeks.

"Mhmm. I won't do anything you aren’t explicitly okay with. And the moment you want to stop, you tell me as much, and we can stop. But you know, I'm in love with you no matter what, and that includes your wonderfully strong body and your cute, handsome face. You light up any room you enter and make me want to work hard for my future. It’s not about your body. The fact that you're hot is a bonus, not the selling point."

He sniffles gently. You carefully go back to working through his hair. "But again, no matter how you want this to go, I'm okay with it. Your comfort first, baby."

He pulls out of the hug, worrying his lip between his teeth as he watches you. "If you're really okay with it, then... i-is it okay if I just kiss you, and we feel it out from there?"

You smile softly. "Go ahead, handsome."

Despite all the kisses you've shared before, every new kiss between you is charged with affection. Izuku can't help it if he melts into every kiss you share—your lips are so soft and you smell so nice and he loves you so much! Before he knows it, he's smoothing a palm against the back of your neck and deepening the kiss, moving his lips hesitantly against your own. He parts just enough to murmur against your lips: "I love you" and "tell me if you want me to stop" and "you can touch my arms if you want". (He knows you do. You only confirm it when your fingertips immediately drag along his upper arms, appreciating the muscles there.)

Before he knows it, he's swiping his tongue against your bottom lip tentatively and pulling you into his lap. You've been more than charitable—your hands remain carefully on his arms, your tongue in your own mouth even as he explores yours. You really won't go a step further than he asks for, and his heart swells at the confirmation. When he breaks the kiss, both of you are breathing heavy, a fact which draws extra attention to the fact that he's still wearing his chest binder.

"I-I want to kiss your neck. I-it's okay if you touch me, j-just please not my chest o-or my... Um, you know."

You mock-salute, a comically serious look on your face that clashes with your flushed cheeks. "Yes, sir! No chest, no ass, no between-thighs!"

The smile that pulls at his lips is utterly love-drunk as he leans back in, first pressing a soft kiss to the corner of your lips and trailing tiny pecks along your jawline. When he reaches your neck, he hesitates, and you wait to slide your arms over his shoulders. "Hun?" you say gently. "Still good?"

Green eyes flick up to yours, intense but wavering. "Y-yeah. I can do this."

Without any other warning, he places a hot, open-mouthed kiss directly onto your pulse, drawing a gasp from you when his teeth graze you just enough for you to feel it. Your hands slide down his back to find purchase as he continues, switching between peppering light kisses to your neck and honestly, doing pretty much anything that won't leave a mark.

Meantime, it's all you can do to gasp and whimper as he finds all your soft spots and goes on the full attack, and his hands roam your sides, climbing up until you're sure he's going to grope you–

And then he flinches and pulls back, just slightly. There's a quiet hiss through his teeth at the movement.

You'd love to whine at the loss, and normally, you probably would. But this is Izuku, and if you're going to let him set the pace, you're damn well going to let him set the pace.

You remove your hands from him completely, watching him with concerned eyes. "Everything alright?"

His heart twists at how gentle and concerned you are. One moment, you're huffing and looking at him with nothing but lust as he kisses your neck, the next, your brow's furrowed as you search him for any signs of fear or panic.

He really doesn't deserve you.

"Do you want to stop?" you ask, voice soft in the way he's seen you use to talk to frightened animals.

He shakes his head, flattening a palm against his chest. "Sorry, sorry. M-my chest is just hurting a little."

"How long have you been binding today?" you ask without missing a beat.

A hand comes up to rub the back of his neck. "I, uh, I took it off during Hero Basic earlier..."

"And had it on all day before?" you ask, hands on your hips. "And all day since then?"

He nods sheepishly, refusing to meet your eyes.

"Izuku..." You sigh. "I said I wanted you to be comfortable, but I also want you to be safe. Please take your binder off? I can look away while you do, I just don't want you to hurt yourself."

"I..." Izuku sighs, twiddling his thumbs nervously. "A-actually, could you, um..."

"I can leave the room if it'd make you feel better," you offer.

"N-no! That's not what I meant." He wraps his arms around your waist, refusing to let you leave. "I-I, um, wanted to try..." His face is beet red, and in a panic, he buries his face in your chest to hide his embarrassment. "C-can you help me out of it?" he finally squeaks out.

"Oh, Izu. Of course I can help you." You gently maneuver his face away from your chest, carefully reaching up to work at his tie. "Let me know the second you want me to stop, okay?"

He nods, squeezing his eyes shut. "Okay."

"Would it help if I kissed you while I get your top off?"

After a long moment, he nods, hiding his blushing face in his hands. His hands stay there until you gently pull them away with a soft giggle. "I can't kiss you if you're hiding your perfect face, handsome."

He gives you a wobbly smile, and you pull him towards you with a gentle tug at his tie. You're careful not to push too far as you kiss him—soft, open-mouthed kisses that have him whining as you try furiously to get this damn knot untied. How'd he even manage to get it like this?

Nevertheless, eventually you do manage to get the knot undone and start working carefully on the buttons of his school shirt. Once you're halfway down, you pull back to murmur a soft "are we still okay?" against his lips.

He responds by crashing his lips back onto yours, a hand roaming up your side until this time, he does actually begin to palm one of your breasts over your shirt. Soon, the other hand joins him in just feeling you, and you can't help but sigh against Izuku's lips.

When you reach the lower buttons, you're careful to not let your hands get too far down as you carefully un-tuck his shirt from his pants. You have to force him to stop massaging your breasts long enough to slide his shirt off his shoulders, stopping to roll your eyes in amusement when you find him wearing an undershirt above the binder. You carefully slide the tank top off, leaving him in just his pants and the colorful All Might-themed chest binder you'd sewn for him shortly after he came out to you. Fingers reach for the zipper tab on the front, but don't close around it just yet. Not when Izuku's breathing quickens the way it does, not when his eyes widen in panic.

"Do you want me to step out while you get out of this and put something else on?"

He squeezes his eyes shut, shaking his head in silence. "Please just... Wait a minute." You nod, hand slowly retreating as Izuku calms himself.

"C-can we, um, l-level the playing field a little?" he asks when his breathing is a bit steadier.

You blink in surprise. "In what way, 'Zuku?"

He drapes both arms over his face as he answers in a truthfully adorable squeak. "L-like, um, s-so I'm not the only one t-topless..."

Your smile is fond as you pat his cheek and lean in. "Can I give you a show?" you whisper.

He shivers, nodding almost too excitedly, and you pull away with a little giggle. "Stay right here." You scamper to the door, making doubly sure it's locked, and turn back with a sparkle in your eye. With his full attention on you, you cross back to him and tease at the edge of your shirt. You're slow in your movements, teasing, and his eyes are glued to you, jaw slack as you give him a mini strip-tease.

Man, it's hard to have low self-esteem with a boyfriend like yours. He drinks in the sight of you like it's the first sight of water he's had in months, adoration and awe and lust and all things positive written plain as day in his expression. When your shirt's properly discarded, you give Izuku a little wink and press a gentle, sweet kiss to his lips. "How are we feeling?"

"Good! G-great! T-this is—yeah. Yeah." His face is flushed, pupils blown. His eyes keep darting between meeting yours and somewhere lower

You quirk a smirk at him, trying not to laugh. "So am I good to unzip you, baby?"

His hands come up to cover his face, green peeking out from between his fingers as he nods. "I-I-I think I'm good."

"You sure? I don't want you to push yourself if you're not comf—"

His hand snatches your wrist, forcing the palm of your hand flat against the center of his chest. You can feel his heart racing beneath your fingertips. "I-if it's you, I can do this. Please."

"Stop me if it gets to be too much, okay?" you hum, carefully pinching the zipper tab and pulling it down slowly. His hand doesn't leave your wrist, but he lets you, exhaling softly when you unzip his binder all the way and free his chest from its confines after a long day.

Izuku panics. Not in the way he feared—he doesn't shove you away, doesn't run, doesn't freeze. But he panics all the same, dragging you into a hot, open-mouthed kiss before you can look at him, before he can see your disgust, before you can make fun of him or change your mind or or or or—

Gentle hands slide the binder off his shoulders with an appreciative hum. You're gentle as you straddle his waist, hands tangling in his hair, and when you go to pull back, he chases your lips. You giggle, trying to pull away to speak, but Izuku's too scared to let you—he almost whines as he continues pressing his lips against yours.

"Everything good, sweetheart?" you ask as best you can amidst his onslaught.

"No—" slips out from his lips. "—I need you to keep kissing me."

"Hm, I can do that. But tell me if something's wrong, okay?" You punctuate your question with a kiss to his nose. He responds by meeting your lips once more.

He pauses, tugging you into a hug moments after breaking the kiss. "I'm a little scared right now," he admits. "You wouldn't... Hate me for how I look, right?" Tears brim in his eyes and wet his voice as he whispers.

"Never in a million years, Izuku. You're always going to be my handsome, strong boyfriend, until you decide you don't want me around anymore. I love you for who you are, not who you want to be, and I'll tell you as many times as it takes."

His arms shake around you. "Thank you. I love you."

"I love you too," you whisper, slowly pulling back as he releases you. "Is it okay if I kiss you, baby?"

"We were already kissing," he says, trying not to laugh.

You press a slow, sensual kiss to his neck. "I know," you breathe out in open, hot breaths, delighting in the way he shivers. "I meant... escalating."

"O-oh." His face is red, as if it could ever stop being red, and you break into a grin when he nods sheepishly. "I-if you want..."

"I very much want." You nod quickly, dragging your nails along his upper arms and around to his shoulders. Goosebumps follow in your wake. "If you'll let me, I'd like to show you all the parts I love about you. But first?"

"M-mm?"

"Say 'yellow' if you need me to pause or 'red' if you want us to stop entirely, alright? The moment you want me to stop. If you aren't sure, 'yellow'. Please? I don't want to cross any boundaries with you."

"Safewords. Okay, I-I think I can do that. Yellow to pause or slow down, red to stop." He nods slowly, a determined pout on his face. You grin and shoot him an adoring gaze before returning to his neck, one hand finding his to intertwine your fingers. His hand trembles in your grasp, but when you squeeze his hand to reassure him, he's quick to squeeze back. "Green to keep going?"

You nod.

"Okay. I'm okay."

You're slow and careful as you begin to kiss down his body, trailing along his jaw and each shoulder. The pads of your fingers massage along the lines where the seams of his binder had been digging into his skin, eliciting shivers beneath your fingertips. Intermittently, he squeezes the hand you've kept intertwined with his, letting out shaky gasps when you drag your tongue back up to his neck.

"You're doing so well," you purr. It's hard to keep your free hand in one place–you drag it back up to indulge in the fluffy curls atop his head only a moment before lightly dragging your nails down his spine.

Next, you trail your lips back down to his chest, pausing to toy briefly with his chest as he lets out a cascade of moans. "[N-name]..."

"Mm?" Your eyes meet his innocently as you lathe your tongue over his nipple, your heart skipping at the lusty, adoring look on his face. You release him from your mouth with a small pop!, tilting your head. "Still good?"

"No, come back," he whines, tugging at your hand.

A giggle escapes you. "Well, since you asked so nicely..."

He shudders as you dive back in, switching to take his other nipple into your mouth. With your closest hand still occupied in holding his, you aren't able to play with the side you'd previously been kissing at, but Izuku doesn't seem to mind as he practically pushes his chest into your face with another gasp.

Soon, all too soon, you continue in your journey to kiss every inch of Izuku's body, palming at his chest and placing one soft kiss against a freckle situated just above his heart. You giggle when you feel his pulse jump beneath your lips before moving on, pressing kisses in a line down the center of his chest until you've found soft skin.

Your free hand finds his belt, toying with the buckle as you get off his lap and rest on the floor in front of him. "Color?"

He eyes you warily, running his thumb across your hand in a way that feels more like he's soothing himself than you. He doesn't answer.

"Izuku, I need to know if this is okay. If you don't answer, I'll stop."

"Y-yellow," he admits meekly. "I-I think it's easier if I don't think about it, but I just... I want this to happen but every second I'm reminded of all the ways this could end in you leaving me, a-and..."

You immediately move your hand away at his admission. "Thank you for telling me. You’re overthinking it, hun. I’m not gonna leave you. Can I help you at all?"

"Distract me?" He pouts at you, leaning down for a kiss. He's even so bold as to slip his tongue into your mouth as you fumble with his belt buckle one-handed, his hand smoothing over your shoulder and down your bare back until you finally manage to get his belt unbuckled and his pants unbuttoned. Once he's unzipped, you smooth your hand over the small of his back, sitting up on your knees to press into the kiss.

Getting him out of his pants with one hand is a challenge, but you make it work, leaving him to toe off his socks and sit there in a loose pair of boxers, looking nervous and innocent and adorable but mostly just scared.

Now that you've got him mostly undressed, you can finally move back to your mission of making him feel utterly loved and working away that fear of his, littering his stomach and sides with tiny pecks and nibbles that have him giggling as he tries (and fails) to squirm away from your onslaught.

"Great job so far," you mumble, nuzzling your nose into his side playfully. "You're really brave, 'Zuku."

He gasps for air between his laughter, scarcely gaining enough time to breathe before you finally relent enough to let him catch his breath. "I love you," he pants out when he finally gets a chance to look down at you. "Thank you."

"I love you more~" you practically sing, punctuating your sentence by blowing a puff of air at his stomach. He squirms, trying not to laugh any more than he already has. You reach up, gently caressing his cheek, and he presses into your touch. "Color?"

Izuku gnaws at his lip. His face is flushed, cheeks flaming red as he pants. After a long moment that you can only imagine is filled with thoughts too fast for anyone else to understand if only they could hear, he speaks. "Green."

A single soft kiss as your hand slips beneath his boxers, giving his ass a teasing squeeze before sliding them off his legs. His tongue slips in your mouth and roams freely as your hand caresses his inner thigh, until all that's left for you to do other than tease him relentlessly is go for broke. You break free from the kiss, watching his face with a smile as you drag a single finger up his slit, finding his clit with ease once you dip between the folds.

No anxiety rears its head now. His jaw goes slack, eyes squeezed tight with pleasure as you slowly rub his slit, a red flush crawling from his cheeks and down his neck as he tries not to moan too loudly. "[n-name]~"

"Hm?" you purr, pausing your finger as it circles his dripping heat teasingly. "Do you need to stop, green bean?"

"N-no!" His eyes snap open, shooting you a pleading, desperate look. "P-please, green, I need more—"

You drop to sit on your knees in front of him, gently spreading his legs to sit between them. "If you're sure, baby. Thank you for asking nicely."

The only sound that escapes him when you finally, finally lean forward and dart your tongue between his folds is a drawn-out moan. Instantly, his free hand finds your head, tangling through your hair and pulling you close. You welcome the momentum, slipping your tongue inside him and using your thumb to rub small circles against his clit. He moans and writhes against your mouth, hips bucking so uncontrollably you're half-tempted to wrap your free arm around his waist and hold him down as you work him up. (If he didn't still have his fingers entwined with yours, you probably would.)

When it gets too much and you're running out of air, you pull back, panting and gazing down at him in appreciation as he whines. "[naaaaame], I was so—"

"Shh," you coo, replacing your tongue with two deft fingers. "I just need a sec to breathe. You're doing so well, Izuku."

His walls pulse around your fingers at your words, green eyes shining with tears that almost make you stop completely if not for the fact that he's still trying to fuck himself on your fingers. You curl them experimentally, brushing against a spongy spot inside him that has him keening and thrashing against you. You re-position clumsily, dragging him into a kiss to muffle his noises as you continue to assault his g-spot. It’d be bad if someone heard the two of you, after all.

It's not long after that that you manage to push him over the edge, his pleasured moans spilling into your mouth as his walls flutter around you. A scarred hand squeezes around yours tightly as he manages to babble your name. You pump your fingers into his dripping cunt just a little bit longer, giving him something to ride out his orgasm on until his moaning turns into whimpers and his hips still. You smile softly when, upon trying to pull away to sit in a less awkward position, he pulls you back to kiss you again

You slowly remove your fingers from him, taking the small window he gives you to sit beside him on the bed and kiss the scar on his hand. His shoulders shudder as you pull him into your lap and a tight hug. "You did so well, Izuku," you coo into his ear.

He sniffles and would have launched himself at you if not for the fact that he was already as close as he could get—his arms lock you into place, snuggling into you tightly as he sobs.

"Is everything okay, Izu? What’s got you upset, green bean?" You carefully wipe your fingers on the sheets before beginning to card your fingers through his hair.

"I-I don't—I don't know! I'm sorry, I—"

"Shh, it's okay. You're okay, Izu. You did so well." You begin to pepper his temples in light kisses.

"I-I always thought that—that I'd never get any of this. That if I ever—ever found someone like you and loved them and they actually loved me, that they'd never... 'cus I'm... f-for a lot of reasons, they wouldn't ever want to do anything like this with me," he babbles, finding every word more difficult to force out than the last. "They'd... they'd get to this point and then they'd realize that this isn't... that I'm not what they want. What they ever wanted. But... this is real. It is, isn't it?"

"It's real, Izuku."

He breaks at that. "Thank you. I'm sorry. I love you."

You patiently run your fingers through his hair, working through any knots you find and trying not to let yourself cry with him. "It's okay, baby. I love you too."

"I'm sorry," he repeats. Hot tears begin to drop onto your shoulder as he tries to bring himself even closer. "I'm so sorry."

"You have nothing to apologize for, honey," you insist. "Really."

"I-I never thought I'd be..." He trails off, lets out another sob.

Your heart wrenches, and you smooth your hand over his back. "Loved?"

His silence speaks volumes.

"Oh gosh, Izu." You want to hold him close, to kiss him until he forgets every self-deprecating thought he's ever had. But you're already holding him, already as close as you can get, and genuinely, if you see his face right now, it won't be long before you're also bursting into tears. So you stay there, rubbing circles into his back as you search for the words—any words—to help him understand just how you feel. "You know I love you, right? I said it earlier, and I'll say it as many times as you need me to."

"I love you too," he mumbles, his tears finally beginning to subside. You wriggle your way from him, just enough to press soft kisses to his face.

"I mean it. More than anything, I love you. Thank you for trusting me. Thank you for being honest with me, and thank you for confiding in me." With every "thank you" and "I love you", you pause to press another kiss to his face. The wrenching in your chest finally subsides when, after the fourth tiny kiss, he lets out a giggle. "Thank you for existing, baby. I'm so fucking glad I met you, and even if we'd never done this, even if we'd never gotten together, I'd still be glad I met you. You're loved, Izuku, and I'll remind you every day, every hour, if you need me to. As often as it takes for you to never question it again."

"Thank you. Sorry."

You laugh, pressing a kiss to his nose. "Stop apologizing. We here at [name], Inc. are of the official opinion that Mister Izuku Midoriya has never done anything wrong, ever, and will not be accepting constructive criticism at this time."

Finally, a proper laugh bubbles from his throat, and he finds it in himself to smile at you—complete, adoring, loving. He even lets himself believe it as the two of you lay down cuddled up to each other.

As long as he's by your side, he thinks he can continue to believe it.

He's complete. Adored. Loved.

#midoriya izuku x reader smut #izuku midoriya x reader smut #deku x reader smut #trans izuku midoriya #bnha x reader smut #not sfw #my fics

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