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bhaalbaaby · 9 months

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The Stillness Bends // Chapter 4 NSFW

Title: The First Taste (3693 Words) Pairing: Shadowheart/Fem!Tav, Astarion/Fem!Tav Warnings: Heavy Petting (making out and fingering) with Shadowheart with Shar cockblock, Full Smut with Astarion (cunnilingus and blowjobs, horn jobs, slight tail pulling, vampire bites, blood kink and bloodlust, creampies lol the works), some angst on both ends too lol A/N: be gentle and thank you for my beta @bunnidarling 💜 Taglist: @spacebarbarianweird @tragedybunny @astarionsbeloved @razrogue @celestialomlette @rentheannihilator @rinmoon7 (let me know if you want to be on the tag list or subscribe on AO3~)

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Penelope sighs as the party dwindles. She watches as Bex and Dannis' tails intertwine, her forehead pressed against him, their lips moving but too quiet for her to hear. She frowns, holding her cup, the last time her tail intertwined with another felt like so long ago. Her heart pangs as she remembers her past love, what could have been if she hadn’t been so violently kidnapped.

She nibbles her bottom lip as she glances over at Lakrissa, who sits by Alfira's feet as she strums her lute. Lakrissa blurts out random lyrics that make Alfira scrunch up her face as she laughs. Halsin… Penelope's wine-addled brain won't think about him as he stands tall at the edge of the party next to Zevlor. She looks away from the Druid, her cheeks hot. She could imagine him naked on any other night, but not tonight. No, tonight belongs to…

Her mind trails off as she thinks of Shadowheart, her soft smile as she holds her cup up to Penelope. "I'll be waiting," Shadowheart says. But there is also Astarion. She glances over at Rolan as he drunkenly rants to his siblings about the road ahead. A shiver runs up her back as she focuses back on the vampire. She's thought about it plenty especially after she let him bite her. She closes her eyes feeling the phantom touch of his mouth on her neck. As she opens her eyes, she looks towards Shadowheart’s tent, the cleric missing. She could go to both, couldn't she?

Astarion raises his eyebrow as she approaches him, ready to pounce. "I promised Shadowheart I'd share a bottle of wine with her, but I do want to spend the evening with you," Penelope says softly, using all her energy not to reach out and touch him.

"Ah, so you're breaking the poor cleric's heart by seeing me instead?" Astarion asks, smirking.

She shakes her head, "No. I'm letting you know I may be a little late. I hope that's okay."

Astarion huffs, "Second fiddle to her? I suppose…" He rolls his eyes, his energy deflated. "If you stand me up, I will never forget it." Penelope steps closer, kissing his cheek. "Never," He chuckles as she leaves, heading towards the waterfall.

Shadowheart waits, holding the bottle of wine between her thighs. She stole two glasses for them and had them waiting next to her. Penelope's heart thumps in her chest as she steps closer. She doubts anything would happen between them besides a kiss or two, but the air is ripe with opportunity. Shadowheart glances over her shoulder, warmly smiling at the Tiefling. "You came."

Penelope nods as she sits beside her. "Of course. I promised, didn't I?"

Shadowheart nods but glances away. "People lie," Shadowheart replies, staring at the bottle. "I stole this from the Tieflings for us. It's cheap, but it'll do." She continues as she holds it up for Penelope to inspect.

"When we get back to the city, I'll be sure to get us a better bottle for us to share," Penelope says with a playful smile.

"Is that another promise?" Shadowheart asks, opening the bottle.

Penelope nods eagerly as she picks up the empty goblet. "Yes, my dear. I always make good on my promises."

Shadowheart eyes her before filling her cup. "We should toast to something to mark the occasion," She asks as Penelope stares at the rushing water next to them.

"We should toast to us," Penelope suggests, raising her glass.

"To us?" Shadowheart laughs, rolling her eyes, "What does that entail?"

Penelope shrugs. "Baldur's Gate, another glass of wine for us to share and many more memories to be made as well, I hope."

Shadowheart giggles as she holds up her glass next to Penelope's. "Bold… We'll have to see where this takes us." Goosebumps travel up Penelope's arms as she clinks their glasses together. "So, tell me about yourself. I feel like we haven't had a proper chance to speak with everything happening." Shadowheart says, scooting closer to her.

Penelope sighs, "What would you like to know? I was quite boring."

Shadowheart tilts her head, letting her ponytail rest on her shoulder. "I don't believe that. You can at least remember your life." Shadowheart replies, her eyes searching Penelope's face.

"I remember what you've told me. You can't swim and you like night orchids."

Her eyes soften as she nods, "You remembered. But you're avoiding my question."

Penelope laughs before sipping her wine, ignoring the bitterness. "Hmm… I played around pubs and bars with my flute and was a little well-known." It's another lie, but she can't confess the sins of her past to a cleric.

"Ah, that sounds like fun, interesting. I bet you saw many different people in your travels."

Penelope nods as she stares at the nearing empty cup. "I suppose. Nothing like this, however. I'm way out of my element." Penelope confesses.

Shadowheart puts her cup down with a sympathetic smile. "It's alright. You're doing better than I expected."

"If I was on my own, I would be dead by now," Penelope says with a small laugh before finishing her cup.

"We all would be…"

The conversation wanes and Shadowheart refills their cups. They talk about little things before they run out of things to say, cards still close to their chest. Penelope slowly lies back on the cold stone, staring up at the stars, the wine fuzzing her brain. Penelope's mind wanders to Astarion. She would meet him soon. Shadowheart joins her, her eyes watching her carefully. Her glance cuts away when Penelope looks over to her. A coy smile plays on her face before she whispers, “You are very beautiful.” Shadowheart snorts, rolling her eyes. “I know.” Penelope's smile widens, loving her confidence.

Shadowheart turns to her side, her eyes casting downwards. "Thank you for coming to see me."

Penelope turns to face her, moving closer. "Of course. You don't ever have to second-guess me. When I say I will do something, I will." Without thinking she rests her hand on Shadowheart's cheek, brushing her thumb on her soft skin.

"And will you kiss me?" Shadowheart asks, her eyes flicking down to Penelope's soft lips.

"You don't have to ask," Penelope whispers leaning into the Cleric.

The wine lingers on her tongue sweetening the taste as their tongues dance. Shadowheart inhales deeply, letting her hands slide to Penelope's chest, her hands slipping in her dress. Penelope moans softly as Shadowheart gently tugs at her nipples, her thumb rolling them between her fingers. Shadowheart drags her teeth along Penelope's lower lip as she pulls away. Penelope stares at her through her thick lashes, keeping her hand on her cheek. She needs to go to Astarion, but…

She slips her hand underneath Shadowheart's dark pants, her fingers exploring her folds. She watches as Shadowheart's eyes shut, and the caresses on Penelope's chest increase in intensity. Would she fuck the pretty Cleric right now? She sits up and rubs Shadowheart's clit, watching as she squirms. Maybe a quickie and then Penelope would go see Astarion, just like she promised. Shadowheart tugs Penelope's dress to the side, letting her breast free before catching her nipple with her mouth. Penelope's mind swims in thoughts of ripping Shadowheart's pants off and burying her tongue between her thighs. She imagines she tastes as sweet as she sounds until Shadowheart winces, pulling away from Penelope.

She holds her hand to her chest as she turns from her lover. Penelope frowns, hovering her hand. "Are you alright, sweetheart?" She brings her fingers up to her lips, lewdly sucking them. She tastes perfect.

Shadowheart sits up, shaking her head. "I'm being punished… We should head back to camp before it gets worse."

There's an undeniable sadness in Shadowheart as she gathers the empty bottle and glasses. Penelope adjusts her dress as she stands. "There will be plenty more times for this," She says, kissing Shadowheart again.

She doesn't kiss her back, scared Shar will cause her more pain. Penelope won't let a petty goddess get in the way of her pleasure as she leans into Shadowheart, whispering in her ear. "Next time I will eat you up."

Shadowheart rests her hand on Penelope's shoulder. "I will keep you to your word," She replies before they return to the camp.

Penelope can't deny she's horny. Shadowheart left her worked up. Would Astarion be jealous that he would be able to taste Shadowheart on her, or would he not care at all? She hopes it's the latter as she heads towards the forest. She needs relief and fast.

Words are spoken, but it's all a blur as she wraps her arms around Astarion's neck, his hands on her hips as he plays with the edges of her dress that barely covers her ass. He murmurs something about how much of a tease she was this evening, knowing she shared a kiss with Shadowheart before coming to the woods to see him, tasting her on Penelope’s lips. But, like a good boy, he waited.

She laughs softly against his mouth before he peppers kisses down her chin before finding his favorite spot on her neck. She bites her lip as her fingers play with the curly ends of his hair.

"'Starion…" She moans as she closes her eyes. He will be the first companion she sleeps with. He lifts her skirt, palming and massaging her ass. He will also be the first person she'd ever sleep with in the woods.

"Take off your dress, please." He says as he pulls away. He takes off his shirt, tossing it to the side as she removes the revealing dress. He doesn’t waste time staring as he buries his face between her soft breasts. She laughs softly as she drags her fingers along his shoulders.

"For tonight, this is all mine," Astarion says as he grabs her ass, holding her up. She's surprised he has the strength to hold her up as she wraps her legs around him.

"Yes sir," She mewls as he presses her against a tree. Their lips meet in a heated kiss, their tongue swirling around each other. He breaks away from the kiss as he holds her breasts in his hands, his thumbs brushing her nipples.

"Did you see how everyone stared at you tonight?" He asks, before sucking on the sensitive nub.

She pants, "Ah, yes. I saw how jealous you looked when I spoke to Shadowheart and Karlach…" He grinds against her, his teeth gently dragging across her nipple. Her moan gains in volume as she flares her nostrils.

"But you could only think about me and how much you wanted me."

She grinds her hips against him as the tree digs into her sharp shoulder blades. Penelope bites her lip ignoring her heart skipping beats, watching as Astarion puts her down, his eyes locking with hers as he gets on his knees. "My tongue between your thighs…" He pulls her panties down, resting her leg on his shoulder.

"You do look good on your knees." Penelope manages to say before he buries his mouth on her sweet cunt. She moans, running her fingers through his hair.

He laughs breathily as he glances up at her, his tongue getting lost in her folds before finding her clit. Her knees buckle as she tries to keep herself up, tugging on his curly locks. He moans against her, his nails digging into her ass. He pulls away, his fingers spreading her folds to reveal her swelling pink button. He gently blows on it, his eyes darkening as she arches her hips away, cursing under her breath. He keeps his fingers spreading her apart as he returns his mouth, his tongue vicious as he laps at her clit, her moans so perfect as they fall from her lips. Astarion’s lips wrap around it, suckling as her stomach tightens, her hips jerking away. He moves his hands, returning them to her plump ass to keep her from squirming.

“Gods…” She mewls, her nails dragging across his scalp before finding the tips of his ears, her fingers carefully touching the reddening tips. He moans in response, his right hand slipping up to the base of her tail as his tongue paints lustful images in her mind. Penelope gasps as she lifts her hips from his greedy mouth. His pupils are blown as she shakes her head, fighting the trembles that rush her body.

"I don't wanna come so fast," She explains as she gets on her knees.

Astarion rolls his eyes as he stands. She glances up at him, her tail swaying from side to side, tugging his breeches down. He obliges, letting them pool around his ankles as he steps closer. She coos when she lays eyes on his cock. "It's so pretty." She whispers, gently wrapping her hand around it.

"Pretty?" He asks, gently grabbing her horn and bringing her face closer. Her nostrils flare as a shiver travels down her body, panging between her thighs. She mewls as he strokes her horn, his fingers following the curvature before firmly gripping them.

"Yes, your cock looks like it's a sculpture," Penelope purrs as he rubs his shaft on her cheek and nose, using his grip on her horn as a guide. The thought of him using her face and mouth for his personal sex toy turns her on. Why him, she wonders as his other hand returns and carefully traces the matching horn.

"As much as I love hearing about how perfect I am, I would rather have your gorgeous lips wrapped around my pretty cock." He mewls as he leaves her horn finally, gently slapping his shaft on her face. She moans, opening her mouth.

"Good girl," He whispers as he guides his tip to her waiting mouth. She closes her eyes as she lets him fuck her mouth, his grunts, and heavy breathing music to her ears. His grip returns to her heart-shaped horns, trying to match his pace as he strokes them. She's never gotten a hornjob before as they've only been used to handlebars. In Astarion's hands, they've never been more sensitive. She has to control herself as he slows.

"Show me what you can do." He whispers, his thumb gently rubbing circles at the base of her horns.

She pulls her mouth off as she squeezes her thighs together. "Gods, I didn't know how sensitive my horns are."

His hand slides from the horn to her scalp. She takes a deep breath before bringing his cock back to her mouth. She sucks on his tip, allowing her tongue to slip between the extra skip wrapped around it. He whimpers, the grip on her hair tightening as he pulls his cock away. Penelope glances up at him, her eyes pleading as he taps his mauve tip on her tongue. “Such a good girl…” He whispers before loosening his grip, allowing her control again.

She laughs breathily as she lowers her head. Her tongue traces his length, dipping down as she reaches his base. His balls tense as her tongue swipes over them, alternating between one and both in her mouth as she sucks them, letting them go with a small pop. Her hand strokes his tip while her other hand drags her nails in patterns on his inner thigh. Astarion's breathing quickens as he returns his grip to her horn, his middle finger tracing the curvature. She shudders as she removes her mouth, their eyes meeting. Her lips part, welcoming his cock as she eases her head down, taking him as far as she can, her nose pressed against his abdomen. He moans as she takes him down her throat with each bob. She gags slightly from her speed, pulling away to catch her breath.

"No gag reflex?" He asks softly as she hungrily stares up at him.

She nods with a small smirk. "Is that a problem?"

Astarion laughs, "Never. We can have more fun that way."

She laughs along as she leans closer, returning his cock to her mouth, this time not taking him as far as she picks up her pace. Astarion's moans catch in his throat as if he's holding himself back from enjoying it. She flicks her eyes up to him as her hands wrap around his hips and ass. He looks up at the trees, his chest quickly rising and falling. She imagines bending him over, letting her tongue roam free across every part of his body including his asshole. The vision fades as he pulls himself out of her mouth.

He rushes to his knees, stroking his cock, the other hand gently guiding her down to the small clearing. "I need you," He whispers as Penelope lies back on the grass.

"I need you too." She whispers quickly, her hand wrapping around his cock, trying to guide him. Her tail runs along the back of his thigh. Their lips meet in a heated frenzy as his hips align with hers. Her tongue rolls around his as she moans against his mouth, his cock perfectly stretching her walls. He breathes heavily through his nose as he pulls away.

She stares up at him through her lashes, her bright pink hearts still shining for him. She clenches around him, rocking her hips with his strokes. He grunts, his brows lowering. He pulls back, planting his hand firmly on her hips to keep her from squirming. "Keep doing that and I won’t be able to last." He moans as he shakes his head.

Penelope lifts herself on her elbows as she still tries to match his pace, accepting his statement as a challenge. He chuckles, his other hand coming up to her pink peppercorn hair, his grip forcing her to look up at him. Her mouth opens slightly as she gasps, her fingers going between her thighs to rub her clit and the other to massage her bosom.

"Astarion…" She mewls as he pounds her. He holds her face up towards his as he watches her contort with pleasure.

"You're delicious," He purrs as he holds his hips against hers, rocking ever so slightly. She whines as she maintains eye contact. Leaning down, he turns her head away from him, exposing her neck. Penelope pushes her hips towards him, letting him fuck her deeper, harder as his lips pepper kisses on his mark. Her arms wrap around his back, his scars under her fingertips. She hesitates, the marks etched into his porcelain skin deep. She stops herself from digging her nails into him, her arms resting on his shoulders.

His teeth are sharp, easily piercing her skin. Penelope's eyes open, his grip on her head keeping her still as he picks up his pace again, ramming her into the grass. Her eyes flutter close, ice filling her veins as the warm blood spills into his mouth, his tongue lapping hard not to miss one drop. He carefully pulls away, blood on the corner of his lips, pupils huge. His hands return to her hips, his thrusts harder than before, his cock twitching each time he presses against her cervix. The pain in her neck is distracting, but his cock is so perfect, she's so close.

"Together?" Penelope manages to say, her hands going to his at her waist.

He nods. "Gods, yes." He leans back down, resting his forehead against hers.

Her nails dig into his shoulders, rolling her head for their lips to meet. She'd never tasted her blood before, but the metallic flavor lingers on Astarion's tongue. He breaks the kiss lustfully staring into her eyes as his cock grinds against her so deep, she feels like she'll explode with each stroke. Leaning back, she lets him go as she covers her face, suddenly embarrassed that she's going to come.

He leans down, his lips wrapping around her nipple. She gasps, her stomach tensing at the two sensations of his thrusts and his warmer mouth. He pulls his mouth off, groaning. "Clench around my cock again my love. Gods, just like that." He returns his mouth, his tongue flicking at her nub. She whines as she does as she's told, his groan so deep from his chest.

"Can I come inside?" Astarion asks, his head resting between her breasts. She nods, rocking her hips with his again as his moans grow in volume.

"Please, please. Please." Penelope can't believe she's begging for it, but she's so close, the beg turns into a trance, her legs wrapping around his waist as he buries himself inside. She doesn't notice that he bites her chest, sucking more of her blood as she trembles under him, crying out his name. He steels his hips against hers, his cock spasming and claiming her for tonight. Gently removing his mouth from her chest, he pulls out.

She sighs content, her hands returning to his shoulders as she examines him. It's odd. Usually, she is quick to get the other person to leave so she can be at peace, but she doesn't want him to go. She leans down, peppering kisses on his sweat-drenched forehead.

"I've never done that before," Penelope whispers.

"Done what before?" Astarion asks, enjoying resting on her ample chest, her blood close to his nose.

"Outdoors like this. Vampire bites."

He laughs as he sits up to peck her lips. "Me neither…" He returns to resting on her breasts, sighing.

"I don't want to go back to the party yet," Penelope whispers.

Astarion's arms squeeze around her waist, "We can stay here for a little then. Besides, I'm not tired."

Penelope sighs, looking up at the moon peeking behind the leaves. It's been so long since she's felt this content, safe in someone's arms. Her fingers interlace with his delicate white curls as he breathes softly. She closes her eyes, her tail running along the curvature of his ass. She could have this, couldn’t she? Have this security. Her heart sinks. No, she won’t fall for the first person she sleeps with. Pushing the thought away she presses a soft kiss on his forehead. No need to complicate this.

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #baldur's gate iii #bg3 spoilers #bg3 tav #nsft #baldurs gate 3 #astarion #bg3 astarion #tav: penelope #penelope x shadowheart #penelope x astarion #writing #the stillness bends

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orangedogsquad · 4 months

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oh wow your dogs look so interesting I've never seen these breeds before

what are they like? do you recommend them to people new to dogs? do they have really awful legs like Basset Hounds under the fluff?

I think they're great, but I have a soft spot for scent hounds in general.

I find the basset fauve de bretagne is fairly adaptable. They're quite happy to have couch potato days, but equally happy to go out on an all day hiking adventure. Most of the ones we've met are pretty laid back, but they are a hunting dog, and get vocal if they catch a scent. (Tess in particular is very good at singing when she smells a rabbit or kangaroo). Fauves can be a bit independent in personality, and can have a 'what's in it for me' attitude when asked to do things, though not nearly as much as other hound breeds I know, and they are still trainable and very responsive, with a tendency to be very food motivated. When it comes to socials, they aren't the most forthcoming dogs, and tend to be fairly polite/neutral to strangers. With people they know, they are very affectionate though!

They're also quite a small dog (Tess is around 12.5kg, and Henry around 13.5kg) and are very portable and pick-upable. A fact which I imagine delights me more than them, lol.

The grand basset griffon vendeen on the other hand is a bit bigger. Maple is a small gbgv at around 20kg, but her siblings are closer to 25kg-30kg. I don't have as much experience with gbgvs overall, so it's harder to tell what's just Maple vs what's the breed, however in general, they seem to have a lot more energy than the fauves, and less of an off switch. They're also very vocal. Maple is one of the loudest dogs I know, which is saying something considering I live in a house with Koda.

Gbgvs are your more stereotypical hound, a level up from fauves in my opinion. Maple is Very independent and does what she wants, and doesn't have as strong a food motivation. Plus she's been a lot slower to mature.

But on the other side of it, gbgvs are very social, from what I've seen of Maple and her siblings. They Love people and other dogs, and Maple thinks everyone is her best friend.

One thing to keep in mind with both breeds is that they're wire-haired, and ideally should be hand stripped. On this front, a typical fauve's coat is a lot easier to strip and maintain than the gbgv's.

It depends on what kind of dog you're after, but I think either breed would be fine for someone new to dogs as long as you were prepared to deal with their hound quirks. I might be biased, but based on my experience, the basset fauve de bretagne would probably make for an easier first time dog experience than the gbgv.

To answer your other question, both the fauves and the gbgvs have much better legs compared to Basset Hounds. The fluff makes it a bit harder to judge, but their legs are a lot more proportionate to their bodies than what you would see in a Basset Hound. This isn't a perfect comparison, but you can see how Tess has more leg to her than the basset hound on the left. She's still fairly short overall, but has a lot more ground clearance, and is more structurally sound. Tess is also the smallest dog we have, so both Henry and Maple have more leg than she does! Because of their better structure and proportion, the fauves and gbgvs aren't prone to disc and spinal conditions like basset hounds are.

This has mostly been about the basset squad so far, but if you're curious about the other two:

Lagotto romagnolo- I wouldn't recommend a lagotto to a first time dog owner, no offense Koda. The lines in Australia tend to have Issues, at least from our experience and what we've heard from the vets we've spoken to. The idea of a lagotto is great, since they're very smart, energetic, sweet and affectionate to their owner, and don't shed, but for some reason it is very common for the ones here to be not quite right, lol. They're prone to anxiety, noise sensitivity, resource guarding behviours, and so on. Depending on where you are in the world, you might have better lines who don't have these issues, but in our context, I'd only recommend one to somebody who has a quiet, predictable household, no kids, no other pets, and who knows a good behavioural vet. If you want a smart, trainable, affectionate, non shedding breed, a poodle is a nice alternative.

Groodle- Holly is a great dog despite her 'breed'. Her traits are pretty much poodle, and the majority of the other 'groodles' we know are the same, so I would recommend getting a well bred poodle over any oodle mix! Very affectionate, eager to please and readily trainable, with a more solid health base.

#asks #essay time #this is all my opinion as one of the humans behind this blog #but i think Bek has similar opinions #she is more into the gun dogs and retrievers than the scent hounds but teggie weggie is beloved by all

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futurequibblerjournalist · 6 days

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Wow wow wow wow!!!! I love Lucretia!! She's so fun !! :3 gosh I just love love LOVE your takes on the Blacks!! I love your takes on everyone tbh but ahhhh she's just so fun! I bet Ignatius felt on top of the world with her lol !

Jeez idek what to say!! Aghhh such a good job like always! I love them! I love Remus! You just,,, get him so right! You understand him! I've never thought of Jewish/Polish/big noses LOL Remus but I'm in love w it now! Is his nose big in size or shape? Or both? :0 I really really like slash appreciate that you give him a good relationship with his parents! I've never really seen him as a mummy's boy but I've always Def thought that they all love each other!! A lot!! Ahhhh and Lyall's guilt,,,, ah! I love them! How do you think the dual religion works? :O

Umumumumumunumummmmmmmmmm if you're not tired of me yet LMAO I would really love to hear all about like,, pretty much everyone! Ik you'll probably talk more about them in your Knights post but if you have any thoughts about like,, the Averys that don't really fit in there I'd love to listen to them :3 I love your blabbers!!!!!!!! It'd also be really cool to hear about the Rosiers! Like Evan's dad :3 idkidk they're just so ! yk??

- 🍃

Ahhhh I'm so glad you love her!! She's seriously one of my favourites!!! I'm gonna do a yap on her brother and cousins at some point,,, I'm considering doing individual posts about the different families in the Sacred 28, mentioning things commonly associated with them, family scandals, known family members, family values etc jfnbjnjgb Ignatius was definitely in disbelief for a good bit honestly but once they got together I feel like he was over the moon,, it was one of those "pinch my arm so I know it's still real" situations for sure

Also ahhhh I'm so glad you see the vision for Remus,, I kinda feel like he's not the typical take people have on him?? Or maybe I've just seen a lot more of different takes which is making me feel like that vjnfjbngjbng

I think his nose is probably more noticeably big in shape? It's quite protruding I think vnjfnbjgb though it is also just a big nose in general. He's got a bit of a slope going on too, I think

YES YES YES!!! Remus having a good relationship with his parents is so important to me,, if I had to choose one Remus headcanon it might be that one tbh it just forms who he is for me in such a significant way. I think Remus being a mummy's boy or like,,, closer to his mother more so comes from the fact that Hope's trying to make up for Lyall not always being as present as he wants to be because of his guilt.

As for the dual religion, like I said, I don't think Lyall is extremely religious so as for holidays and traditions they'd likely be more Jewish leaning, especially cause I think Hope would be someone who got really focused on preparing everything etc. Depending on when Chanukah was they'd celebrate either Chanukah or Christmas but I could see them doing both if it fell on different dates? I'm not super sure but yeah!!!

I did a bit about the Avery family a few days ago jcnfjcnfj and I’m gonna do more in another post but yes, let me yap about the Rosiers!!!

So generally speaking I don’t portray Evan and Pandora as twins. Their parents are Druella’s older and younger brothers and their grandparents are Felix and Minette Rosier (I will likely be changing Minette’s name as I learned that there’s actually already a Minette Rosier, she just married into the Lestrange family). I think the Rosiers speak exclusively French when they’re home and they kinda look down on people who are able to but don’t.

Alabaster is the eldest, born in 1928 and he was the only Slytherin of his siblings. For context he’s a fifth year at Hogwarts when Tom Riddle, Edmund Avery Senior, Bruce Mulciber Senior and that whole gang are all in their sixth year. I’ve changed Cygnus Black’s age (so he doesn’t become a father at thirteen like Joanne apparently thought he should) so Alabaster and Cygnus are dorm mates in my head. Alabaster dies when he’s fairly young, either just before Evan is born or a month or so after,,, I haven’t decided yet. I just know Evan does not grow up with a dad. Alabaster married Ursa Brown (I might find a different last name for her cause I like the idea of her being French), a fellow Slytherin in his year.

Druella was born in 1930 and was a Hufflepuff. She enjoys watercolour paintings and home decorating and she’s quite close with her mother. She puts a lot of value on being a good future wife,,, there’s still a bit of drama that goes on when her and Cygnus gets engaged because before it gets announced she doesn’t know if she’s gonna marry Alphard or Cygnus (the latter who she’s had a bit of a crush on)

Acelin is the baby of the family born in 1931. He was sorted into Hufflepuff like his sister. He was noticeably close with a certain Eileen Prince who was also in both his year and house. Acelin marries Adaline, a French witch who attended Beauxbaton during her younger days

Also as it turns out, I’ve got a drawing of them from when they were in their fifth, third and second year!

My favourite headcanon for the Rosiers is that they frequently mix with Veelas. Alabaster, Druella and Acelin’s grandmother was a Veela and so they’re a quarter Veela. I like the idea of the family frequently mixing with Veelas which is how they have the white-gold hair. I could see Adaline being part Veela tho how much idk. I’m also just a sucker for Rosier family who’s odd and alluring and in theory a good handful of them are so freaky no one should want to be near them but still there’s just something inexplainable about them. Also the Rosier family who use it to their advantage to gain relationships with important wizard in families,,,,

I don’t have a lot for Evan’s dad other than like,,, his design? Though I do really like that,,, Evan is pretty much identical to him the genes are strong lol. His marriage is arranged just as both his siblings are, though he ends up quite happy with Ursa for the short time that they have together before he passes away

#the lupin family #remus john lupin #remus j lupin #remus lupin #lucretia elladora black #alabaster claude rosier #druella marseille rosier #acelin harlem rosier #the rosier family #knights of walpurgis #ask #anon ask #🍃 anon

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my-castles-crumbling · 9 months

Note

little question

i wanna come out as a lesbian to some friends who have been my friends for maybe 3 or 2 years

i would’ve told them earlier but again we mostly goof around and don’t really do proper “talks”

one is younger than me and the other is older than me and they’re both siblings so i figured i could tell them when they’re both together

but again they’re different ages compared to me so they’ll have different takes on it

how do i muster up the courage to tell them??

🫶🏽

Hi! <3

So, first of all, congrats on feeling ready to come out! That's a huge step! I'm proud of you for accepting yourself exactly as you are!

I guess I have a couple questions here- have you come out to anyone else? (besides me, lol) Do you have any sense of what type of household these friends were raised in? And, of course, make sure it is safe to do this.

If you've not come out to anyone else, my gut feeling is that you should start with a person or people you know will be receptive. It's a scary thing to come out, especially if you live in an area where it's not accepted, and I'd hate for your first experience to be a negative one. If possible, start by building up a group of people who are supportive and have your back.

If you have come out before and you have some supportive people, then as long as it's safe to tell your friends, heck yeah!

For me, when talking to friends about something more sensitive, I try to think through their possible reactions. You know these people better than I do- do you have any instinct on how they'll react?

Here's the thing, though. I don't think age has anything to do with reaction. It's how someone is raised and their own lived experiences and morals. I would hazard a guess that two siblings are more likely to act similarly.

All this to say, here are the two simplified possibilities: First, they could be cool with it and you could become closer by bringing up a deeper topic. Or, they could be weird and you could realize, hey, I probably don't want to be friends with them anyways.

If you're okay to deal with either of these reactions, then how do you get up the courage? I guess...remind yourself that you are worth people who accept you for you. And you're telling them because you want friends like that, not matter what the outcome. Just keep telling yourself, you are worth acceptance.

I hope that helps, and I'm always here if you need to talk!

(As always, remember to put your safety first and foremost!)

#ask #asks #ask cas #queer pride #queer community #queer #lgbtq #lgbtqia #lgbtq community #coming out

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toournextadventure · 1 year

Note

since this blog has lost all rules and 🕷️ got some advice here, hopefully i could too?

so basically i’m in a trio (ik- first red flag) and it’s me, S and Z in this gc. i started noticing in the past few months that S and Z have gotten closer and started sharing more stuff privately but then they’ll bring it up in our gc and when i go to ask about the info or joke, they shut me down, ignore me, or outright say it’s not my business.

(before anyone suggests they’re together, S is a girl and Z is a guy and Z is sooooo gay. he’s not out but it’s super obvious so it’s just me and him being homiesexuals while S is straight- just some context lol)

so with that being said, i’m not at all saying they can’t have their own friendship and they’re not allowed to talk privately, however, when they bring their private tea, jokes, and plans into our gc and then act like it fine with 3rd wheeling, i’m sure you can see how this would get tiring, which it has.

so i just was wondering what advice you could give for this situation- and i also just kinda wanted to vent lolll

thanks for reading and thanks in advance for any advice :)

-🎸

Y'all can always ask for advice! I'm all of y'all's older sibling now, remember? I've adopted y'all. But I promise I wasn't ignoring you! Yesterday got hella crazy and I had to have a good think about this one since I've never been in this kind of situation (I've never had a gc with friends, does that make me sound lame? 😭). So that being said PLEASE take this with a grain of salt, yeah?

First, I don't think being in a trio is necessarily an immediate red flag. I don't think I've ever been in one, but I would imagine it's not necessarily a bad thing. And branching off happens sometimes, and like you even said, it's not even necessarily a bad thing or an issue. Like, it happens, you know?

But, that being said and as you mentioned, it's not that they're having their own convo it's just that they're bringing it into the gc and, lowkey, turning the gc into their private chat but with an audience. And, understandably, it's not fun to be the audience when the purpose is to be a gc.

SO I'll tell you what I personally would do. Again, take it with a grain of salt, I've never been in this situation, I don't know much background, and in the end it's up to you! But I personally would try and have a chat with whichever person you're closest too because they would be the least likely to try and turn it into A Thing when it doesn't have to be. It can be over text, a call, in person, whatever you're most comfortable with. But you can essentially just say you have no issue with them talking, but the gc should function as a trio gc, where it's an equal space and everyone is on equal ground.

I guarantee it won't go that smoothly, because it never does with real people and real talks. But end of the day, whichever one you're closest too, just try and talk to them and let them know how it feels. They might get defensive (most do, it's natural), but make sure you say how it appears/feels to you. All you can try to do is get them to at least see it from your perspective. I can't say if it'll make a turn for better or worse, but I'd bet you'll feel at least a bit better getting it out.

End of the day, if you ever wanna come rant, feel free! I promise it's a safe space, rant just to get it off your chest or advice, or even just to yell into the void. Love ya, smooches 🫶

#answered #charlie boy's advice #🎸

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kaizoku-pirateking · 3 years

Text

[1/3] Having a Date with them//Headcannons

a: there's two more parts! (also 5 characters) but will be posted soon, because I love y'all ෆ╹ .̮ ╹ෆ

(and yes I have put the daddies) + not proof read, sorry for mistakes and I think i sorta went overboard on marco, katakuri, and shanks lol

warnings; slightly suggestive

sypnosis: you asked them on a date, and they agreed

contents: Doflamingo, Katakuri, Marco, Rayleigh, Shanks

masterlist // masterlist two

——————————[✿]——————————

Doflamingo (post-timeskip)

He would totally spoil you a lot as because he's the King of Dressrosa afterall

There isn't a single date where you both will go to a cheap restaurant—Will literally bought the whole restaurant for you and an expensive one in fact

If someone had intervene you and doffy's date expect this person to never be seen ever again, he wants a quiet and lively date with you still with his scary grinning look on his face

Teases you on a public place and wants to get caught BADLY; by example putting one of his hand on your inner thigh before it comes closer to your clothed sex

Date's with him will be scary but dreadful as because this man are full of cockiness and would love to shower you with his love

Katakuri (post-timeskip)

Doesn't know what to do at all—He didn't even hesitate to your answer and immediately agreed; and after you left he started to regret it

He isn't a fan of dates, and affections and prefers you the one doing everything so thay he won't make a mistake—Will need lots of pride to ask his siblings <who got married> on what to do on a date

His siblings would most likely to laugh but didn't do the actions as they knew how Katakuri serious can get. So they told him the basics on how to do such as bringing you a flower, favorite food and etc.

On the day of the date, he would try to wear a clothes that's fine but not too formal like a casual wear <not the clothes he's using in the arc> only; Would get shy on the inside and panicking what to do; well supposed thanks to his siblings help he survived the whole day

Last time of day with him would include you both going to the island he's a minister of in the flour and enjoy the sunset with him holding hands

Marco (pre-timeskip, still part of Whitebeard Pirates)

With his hands full of taking care to Whitebeard and being the First Commander, It's actually rare to ask him to go on a date with you yet he agreed saying Ace could handle the rest

Knows what's he's doing and would always smile or smirk during the date—A date with him strolling late night on a town where he, you and the crew take a rest sounds lovely

Tells you how you're doing while he is busy with his work and if do you need or had problems to take care off and he will do it just for you

Would tease you but in a more private place—well still public place but there wasn't any townsmen and townswomens late at night, he would make you sit on his lap while biting your neck, hard

Likes to talk with you and listen to your soft voices secretly; especially loves it when you both are on a date, and your excitement are the only thing that could relieve him

Rayleigh (pre-timeskip, when he's still part of Roger's crew)

He is more of a classic man, he'd agree to take you out as because he got nothing to do—and if you want you both can go on a date, the day you asked him

Dates with him will be on a local shack where there's many man and women's drinking, dancing, and partying but you both only notice yourselves

Loves it when you ran your hands on his hair and would smile; To avoid him getting flustered or teased he would joke about you

Makes sure you both are away from Roger or the others because they would annoy and disturb you both's date especially on a certain two kids

Expected Cuddles with him in nighttime after a long day and tes you how much he loves you and would never exchange anything for you

Shanks (post-timeskip, 2 years later)

He would be the most chilled or should I say the most annoying out of five of the mens; It would be hard for him to make him accept the date as he would annoy the hell out of you and asks “why should he the almighty red haired had a date with you” he said

Benn and Yasopp would come to help you force Shanks and he finally agreed, through it won't end well—The date are plain but fun it's with the crew on a certain abandoned island and he finally claimed his laughing while drinking the booze

Tells you about Luffy ALOT from how he gave Luffy his strawhat, finally being recognized by both marines and world government and would lean on your shoulders while telling you about it

When he got too drunk he might do something more passionate, would kiss you very deeply and would do a make out session Infront of his crew who are very red at the scene they're witnessing on you and Shanks

Let's just say, you both now move on a private place and would make out—Even though away they could still hear your pleading screams for Shanks and his laugh, the crew meanwhile are trying to avoid what you both are doing, for the sake of themselves

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beeindaclouds · 3 years

Note

idk if you’re taking requests but the sibling hc u just posted w punz and karl’s sibling had me feeling some sorta way !! if you could make a blurb on that that would be mm mm good :] if not no worries !

I am taking request actually, I should probably mention it more lol

But anyway, this blurb is gonna make me fall more for Punz so YEY let's gOO

(also thank you for the request <3)

❝ Punz × Karl's Sibling!Reader ❞

[For anybody who didn't read the scenario, this is based off of Tubbo and Karl's IRL streams with Punz, Sapnap, Nolan, ect.]

You had been feeling eyes watching you all evening

From the moment you were jamming out in the car with Tubbo and Karl in the back, to the moment you were all sitting down as the same two boys danced to some Spanish music

It wasn't that weird kind of creepy stare but the ones that caused a tornado of butterflies in your stomach

You knew who those eyes belonged, as the blonde hasn't stopped looking at you since Sapnap came to pick you all up

Punz and you got much closer during the pandemic. Between late night streams and facetimes, you two were almost always togheter; well, online

So when the moment to actually meet eachother face to face came, you were worried

Questions of insecurities filled your mind

But those lingering eyes seemed to be telling you other wise

It's like he was begging for you to talk to him, to acknowledge him, he would have accepted even a simple nod

You were to preoccupied of being caught on stream and getting backlash from it. You didn't want to put Punz in that position

But everything changed once you got to the golf court. The camera was mostly on Karl and Sapnap, so you didn't have to worry much anymore

And as you were watching the boys from afar, the blonde took it as an opportunity to make his move

"You're not gonna play?" He whispered behind you, sending tingles up your back and arms

You jumped a little on your spot, a thing you usually did while nervous, and turned to look at Punz "I'm pretty drained from all that dancing Karl made me do"

He chuckled as he stood close by you. Your shoulders brushed against eachother, making you feel like a middle school kid having their first interaction with their crush

You both looked at eachother, your sights finally meeting, an achievement that Punz has been wanting to earn all night and as he goes to say something he stops.

You stare at him curiously, wondering what made him stop, but your thoughts were quickly interrupted as the blonde boy leaned in

Was this it? Was he making his first move? Were you even ready? So many questions ran through your mind. But your body seemed to have already accepted it's fate as you didn't move or flinch away as he got closer

And as your eyes fluttered close...

"You have a leaf stuck in your hair"

Your eyes quickly opened at his words, beeing met with the teasing smirk of the boy.

You got your hopes up to high and have just made a fool out of yourself. You flushed and hid your face between your hands mumbling a "thanks"

As you nervously waited for his teasing words, you were instead met with warm lips softly touching your trembling hands

You stretched your fingers to look at Punz. He pulled down your hands to hold them and smiled at your pink cheeks

"You are adorable, you know?"

Nothing came out of you except a small giggle while you two stared at eachother again. This whole situation was just so unbelievable to the both of you that you just had to take everything in

"Y/N! Come here" "Punz, come over for a sec!"

You were both awaken from your trance and quickly pulled away from eachother

"Ehm, I need to, go" You said while pointing at your sweet and annoying brother who was now jumping to get your attention

"Same. We should continue this later...maybe?" Punz mumbled the last part, suddenly feeling shy after all he has done

You smiled and quickly pecked his cheek "I'd love to"

A.N: I hope this was ok! I tried my best so I hope you all like it <3

#dreamsmp #dsmp #mcyt #dream smp x reader #dsmp x reader #mcyt x reader #punz x reader #beescenarios #dream smp blurb #punzblurb

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addisonlover · 3 years

Note

ooga booga hi can u write anything abt spamton/spamton neo being protective of someone he cares abt (can be the addisons or the reader, or both!! i dont mind cjdnsjs) - ♠️

A/N: yes yes ofc!!!!1! i haven't written for Neo before so it took me a little longer to get to this (i dont see many differences between them lol)

Spamton/Spamton NEO protective headcannons

Spamton with the Addisons:

He's small and ferocious! Watch your ankles! Seriously. He'll fuck you up like a small, angry dog.

Doesn't get outwardly mad or protective very often, has to be really pushed to the edge

Fully believes that even if he is the little brother, he should keep an eye on his brothers, just in case

Watches out for everyone but Blue, he knows that they can take care of themself

Has gotten physical with a few customers because they were being especially rude with his siblings

Doesn't immediately jump to violence, Blue and Orange don't like it when he does

Violence is usually a last resort option or a second resort if they get him especially mad

Uses short people fighting techniques to his full potential

NEO with the Addisons:

WHO'S THE [LITTLE BROTHER] NOW HUH???

Absolutely hold the fact that he's huge over their heads

They're all happy to see him again but Yellow is especially excited, they're already thinking of stupid new games to play

He definitely gets very protective of his siblings, even more so then he was before

His siblings have sacrificed a lot in life and did their best in trying to raise him and he is eternally grateful for them

It doesn't matter how much he wants to try and convince himself and others that he's a [[BIGSHOT]] who's going to ascend past everyone else, he'll never be able to harm them

Imagine a giant, creepy Spamton standing behind a vivirokun, saying "WHAT THE [Fifty Percent Off!] DID YOU DO TO MY [[FAMILY]]." and everyone in the vicinity running for their lives

Picks up his siblings like how they used to pick him up when he was (even) smaller

Spamton with the Reader

He's gonna protect you just as ferociously as he does with his siblings

Always offers to bring you along during his jobs so he can keep an eye on you

Violence might not be the first option with people bothering his siblings but it is absolutely the first option with anyone bothering you

Is always near you somehow, glaring at people that may be looking at you in...certain ways

Spamton backpack mode engaged; it's nice for both you and him, plus he can make sure that you're doing okay

He's absolutely going to constantly pester you about if there's anyone bothering you lately that he hasn't seen, he can be with you always

"Jokingly" says he'll beat up whoever you want him to. Just assume everything this simp says is true because by god he would do almost whatever you asked

NEO with the Reader

Seeing you so small, something he can truly protect now just makes his heart swell a bit

Absolutely backs off if you ask him to, he can get almost territorial very quickly

Starts slightly freaking out when you're not around him, tends to worry a lot

He's essentially a bigger, more puppy-like Spamton

When he hasn't seen you all day, he always gets an even bigger smile on his face once he sees you

Picks you up and checks you all over for any possible injuries, asks you a million and one questions about your day

You're gonna get a lot closer to his siblings because he likes to keep you grouped up around him if y'all have nowhere to be

Insists you two sleep in the same bed, just let him, he gets nightmares a lot. And he likes to cuddle up to you like a teddy bear

#deltarune #deltarune x reader #addisons x reader #deltarune addisons #deltarune addisons x reader #pink addison #pink addison x reader #blue addison #blue addison x reader #orange addison #orange addison x reader #yellow addison #yellow addison x reader #deltarune spamton #spamton #spamton x reader #spamton neo #spamton neo x reader

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kpostedsum · 3 years

Text

daddy issues; D.M

summary: you and draco bond over issues in 6th year

word count: 2.4k

warnings: err angst, comfort, illusions to sex

song: daddy issues (the remix) - the neighbourhood

a/n: i tried not to make it stereotypical bc i didn’t wanna make it seem all “i like older men lol”, probably my fav fic i’ve written, also arent these anime gifs so cute

masterlist | taglist

Take you like a drug

I taste you on my tongue

Tongues battling for dominance, bodies rubbing against each other searching for a feeling. It’s become routine now, a different person in your dorm swallowing a new pill, entangling limbs with someone just to feel something.

You ask me what I'm thinking about

I tell you that I'm thinking about

Whatever you're thinking about

Tell me something that I'll forget

And you might have to tell me again

It's crazy what you'll do for a friend

It was a constant cycle, putting yourself out there seeking the male attention you crave, seeking validation, constant reassurance and trusting too easily. That’s how you ended up with a different guy who always in the end leaves. You trusted too easily and people took advantage of how trusting and naive you are just for a quick shag.

You wished it wasn’t like this but that’s all you knew, wanting to be the best version of yourself for someone just to feel needed, no matter if the person was good or bad for you. You didn’t care, you wanted love from anyone you could get it from even if it just hurt you more.

You’re familiar with the absence, something stable made you feel a bit wary. It wasn’t something you were used to. Your father wasn’t the most present in your life, and even though he's there, he's never really there.

Go ahead and cry, little girl

Nobody does it like you do

I know how much it matters to you

I know that you got daddy issues

And if you were my little girl

I'd do whatever I could do

I'd run away and hide with you

I love that she's got daddy issues, and I do too

You always wondered where you went wrong, he preferred your siblings over you and doesn't pay you a piece of his mind. Constantly going out of your way to get his attention whether it was academically or acting a certain way just to get some sort of reaction. But he was too preoccupied with his other children, even if they were from your mom or his affairs.

That’s how you found yourself right now sitting in the astronomy tower past curfew watching the rain fall, trying to clear your head while humming softly to yourself to keep yourself distracted.

You hear distant chattering from below and quickly get up from where you were sitting and make your way to your dorm unnoticed by anyone.

Except one person, Draco Malfoy.

I tried to write your name in the rain

But the rain never came

So I made with the sun

The shade

Always comes at the worst time

He’s seen you before, you’re known around Hogwarts for how you put yourself out there and how ‘desperate’ you are for some affection. He almost feels bad for you, but he’s in no place to judge. With his dad in Azkaban Draco had so much more to worry about, like his task and how he can succeed. But there was something about you that intrigued him that he couldn't ignore.

He saw you again in transfiguration the next day and noticed a few hickeys littering your neck that you had tried to cover but it didn’t work. He wondered why you gave yourself up to so many people, but once again he was in no place to judge. He noticed the way your tongue would stick out when you focused extra hard, the way your hands would tighten around your quill when you got a question wrong and your face.

The same face that many boys including the older years would fawn over, the face that entranced and attracted many, the face of someone who would do anything for someone for some affection and the face of someone who seeked out all the wrong things.

You ask me what I'm thinking about

I tell you that I'm thinking about

Whatever you're thinking about

Tell me something that I'll forget

And you might have to tell me again

It's crazy what you'll do for a friend

You walk out of transfiguration on your way to the owlery to send a letter to your parents and feel eyes watching you everywhere. You like it, the attention, it’s something that you thrived in, but you couldn’t help but feel a new set of eyes on you.

Once you reached the owlery you realized you weren't the only one there, Draco Malfoy was also there sending a letter to who you assumed was his mother.

“y/n, right?” he asked, trying to spark a conversation.

“Yea, listen i’m sorry about what happened with your father i know you really looked up--”

“Dont worry about it, he wasn’t as good an influence as I made him out to be,” he sighed, looking away.

“My dad isn’t the best either if i’m being honest, i guess we’re in the same boat” you let out a light chuckle.

And that’s how you found yourself hanging out with draco malfoy bonding over your shared issues.

Go ahead and cry, little girl

Nobody does it like you do

I know how much it matters to you

I know that you got daddy issues

And if you were my little girl

I'd do whatever I could do

I'd run away and hide with you

I love that she's got daddy issues

It’s been weeks since you two started hanging out since the interaction in the owlery and have been getting closer ever since. You both sat down together in the astronomy tower, backed against the wall as the cool wind blew against your faces. The aura between you two was calm, a comfortable silence.

“So tell me about your dad, how is it with him in Azkaban?” you asked, tilting your head towards him.

“Mother’s not taking it well” he frowned. “I can’t even say potter’s wrong for getting him locked up because he deserves it. All my life he praised the dark lord and taught me to be selfish and always defend my blood, but he was never there for me when I needed him. I would have done everything just to hear ‘i’m proud of you’ but it never came. It’s worse now because mother’s all alone. I wish I could have stayed with her” he sighed looking out the tower watching the stars twinkle.

“I’ve noticed you’ve been much quieter this year as well, you stopped making fun of people. It’s not that nice on the receiving end huh?” you said with a teasing look on your face.

He shook his head at you scooting closer to you, it’s like the demeanor between you two have changed over the past few weeks. You found yourself pining over him rather than being in someone's bed. But this is how the cycle always goes, you get attached and they leave, you couldn’t help but hope this wasn’t the situation this time.

“Tell me about your father”

Daddy stuck around but he wasn't present

Cheated on your mom but she never left him

First I didn't get it, now I understand

He broke her heart, left money in her hand

So everything got paid for

She made sure you and your brother had way more

Than she ever had growing up

And when you told me the whole story I felt like throwing up

“ I don't know if i’d even call him my father at this point, he doesn't want me.” you sighed. “He's been cheating on my mum for years now and she still won't leave him because she thinks they can work it out. He’s had affairs with different pureblood women and has children with them. But what hurts the most is how he treats them as his own children and treats me as if I don't exist” you said, looking down as tears pooled your eyes.

Draco moved closer to you and brought his arm around your shoulders for a sense of comfort and waited for you to catch your breath so you can continue.

“I just want him to love me” you cried. “I go out my way to try and get his attention with my school work but it never works. That's why I get along with so many guys. I seek the validation, the comfort and the reassurance that I can get from him from others and I am so tired of it. I just want him to want me draco.” tears slipping out your eyes as you looked up at him, you’ve never confessed this to anyone before.

“Everyone always leaves, please don't leave me” you cried

“I’m not going anywhere” he turned his face towards you, leaning forward cautiously as if you were made of glass.

You leaned forward, wanting the exact same thing. Both very hesitant he gently pressed his soft lips against yours and they moved together in sequence, only taking a break to go back to his dorm and to breathe, limbs tangled together for the rest of the night until the sun rose.

I can see it on your face it was rough left a bad taste on your tongue

And she didn't even take any drug

She would rain all day

Couldn't wait for her son to shine

And you made it shine

There when she cried, you saved her life

It's been a week since that night in the astronomy tower and draco had already been avoiding you. It’s humiliating, but you should have known. You thought the ‘bond’ you had with him would last, it felt so genuine this time. So real.

You’d see him around the halls snogging pansy on your way back to the ravenclaw tower, lowering your head down so he wouldn’t be able to see you so you could get by quickly and unnoticed.

But he saw you.

He stared you right down in your teary eyes as he made out with pansy. You couldn’t help but feel a sense of betrayal, for someone who promised he wouldn’t leave you like everyone else, he did the exact same.

You did the only thing you knew of, you ran.

I keep on trying to let you go

I'm dying to let you know

How I'm getting on

I didn't cry when you left at first

But now that you're dead it hurts

This time I gotta know

Where did my daddy go?

I'm not entirely here

Half of me has disappeared

Draco followed you to the girls lavatory, hearing your shallow cries coming from one of the stalls. He approached the stall you were in trying not to make too much noise so he doesn't startle you.

He felt awful.

He promised he would never leave you, after you both poured your hearts out to each other but he still left. He had too, he was putting you in danger just by being with him. If Voldemort ever found out about you and hurt you he wouldn't be able to live with himself, that's why he took it upon himself to hurt you first.

“y/n are you in here?” he called out even though he knew the answer.

You recognized that familiar voice anywhere. “What do you want draco?” you said, trying to make it seem as if you weren’t just crying.

“I want to talk to you, please”

“No,” you said getting up and pushing yourself out of the stall. “You don't get to just throw me away after I told you everything and just come back into my life like nothing ever happened. Just go away, that's all you guys are good for” you spat.

“Just listen to me, it was to keep you safe. I didn;t want to but i couldn't bear seeing you hurt” he tried to explain.

“Safe?” you laughed. “ and what exactly do i need saving from, malfoy.”

“From me” he said as he pulled up his sleeve revealing his dark mark to you. Your body instantly tensed, you knew he was having problems and his family was involved with the dark lord but you never knew it was like this.

“Draco i-” you tried to say something but the words were stuck in your throat. He stood there looking at you desperately like he was waiting for you to tell him everything was okay, you wanted to be there for him but you didn’t know what to do. You trusted him with everything but he couldn't trust you with this? You thought the bond you had made would have made him trust you in the slightest, but clearly it's always you who’s more trusting.

“Why didn't you tell me?” you managed to say, your voice hoarse.

“I thought you’d leave me, you were the only good thing i had. Please don't leave me” he begged, salty tears escaping his eyes and running down his cheeks as he looked at you with desperation.

“So you thought pushing me away by snogging pansy was better?” you yelled, as he continued to look at you slightly taken aback by your lashing out.

“You know what, go ahead and cry little boy. You know that your daddy did too, you know what your mama went through. You gotta let it out soon, just let it out” you taunted walking closer to him looking straight into his teary eyes.

“This time I'll be the one that leaves.” and with that you were gone.

Go ahead and cry, little girl

Nobody does it like you do

I know how much it matters to you

I know that you got daddy issues

And if you were my little girl

I'd do whatever I could do

I'd run away and hide with you

I love that she's got daddy issues, and I do too

It’s been months since that night in the girls lavatory, and you missed him. You wanted to visit him in the hospital wing once you heard what happened with Harry Potter, but you couldn’t bring yourself to do so. He left you, and you were tired of always going back to people who just hurt you.

Now here you were at the battle of Hogwarts, standing with everyone while Voldemort and his death eaters stood across from you all.

“Draco, draco come here” you heard narcissa call from across the scene. He looked hesitant, as if he was waiting for someone to stop him but no one did. So he started walking over to his parents.

But you grabbed his hand.

“Stay please” you whispered looking up into his eyes.

He looked back at his parents and back at you like he was contemplating his answer.

“I’ll stay”

If you were my little girl

I'd do whatever I could do

I'd run away and hide with you

I love that she's got daddy issues, and I do too

—————-

tagging fun ppl nd ppl who interacted (so srry if u don’t wanna be tagged)

@hellohellook @astoria-malfcy @justfangirlthingies @sfdlm @falling-loki @notvasi @gwlvr @malfoytookmyheart

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biggest-stupidhead · 4 years

Note

Hello, may I leave a slightly weird request?

I don't know if you're familiar with WandaVision? If you aren't then I don't know how to explain this to you 😂

The reader creates the snk world to forget the grief of losing Levi from her world.

If you never watched WandaVision then feel free to write your own interpretation of this prompt!!

Thank you! ♥️

Okay while I am familiar with WandaVision, I feel pretty intimidated by this request tbh lol. But I am willing to kind of put my own spin on this idea, I really like this concept though :)

*Listened to Butterfly’s Repose by Zabawa while writing this one you know the vibes.

Summary: You imagine what your life would have been like if Levi survived the war.

Word Count: 1.1K

138 implied spoilers, I did not go directly off of the chapter but there are some hints towards the chapter and the events that occurred so this is your official spoiler warning.

You were no stranger from grief. It had followed you throughout your life with an unholy persistence. But you’d never felt it this deeply, as you sat in front of the memorial, one fore all the fallen soldiers who had lost their lives during the rumbling, it seemed to really sink in. He was gone, never coming back. At first you had been angry at him, for throwing away the future that you could have had if he had simply lived. It has seemed surreal as you wandered around the trampled earth, searching for any sign of him, the green cape, or his mop of black hair. But there was nothing, Mikasa had to drag you away from the barren earth and back onto the boat to leave for the island. The long trip consisted of you and Mikasa sitting next to one another in silence, your shoulders brushing against one another as you both mourned in silence. You weren’t the only one to lose someone, she had lost Eren and others. It felt wrong, to leave them there, but there was little to no choice, there was no body to recover, no burial to be had.

You lifted your head to see Reiner and Annie leaned up against the wall opposite to you, Armin was on the other side of Mikasa, his blonde head buried in his hands. You felt Falco shift next to you, his arm brushing up against yours in a silent plea for comfort. You lifted your arm and wrapped it around his shoulder, pulling him into your side. Over the past few months you and the other soldiers had accepted the young warrior under your wings, you knew that he needed the comfort as badly as you did. Falco leaned into you now, his head falling onto your shoulder, after a moment you felt a him shudder and then your shoulder was damp. You looked down and your eyes watered as you noticed his own watery eyes spilling tears onto your scorched uniform. He turned and embraced you fully, burying his face into your neck as you allowed him to weep into your chest.

You said nothing, only rubbing soothing circles on his back as he sobbed. You had to be the grown up here. You were one of the last squad leaders of the scouting regiment. You weren’t meant to live, it should’ve been Levi, or Hange here. Not you, you weren’t special, no abilities or amazing outstanding qualities. Now you were here with all these young children, who should have never had to be involved in any of this. A tear slipped down your cheek as you stared straight ahead, jaw clenching as you tried to bite back the emotion that was threatening to spill over the edge.

That night you laid in the flimsy cot and stared at the ceiling. You were still in shock from the events that had transpired earlier, you knew you were in denial. The way that you elected to cope, was rather childish. You rolled onto your side and closed your eyes, vividly imagining his face, awash with moonlight, features soft with sleep. You could almost smell the tea on his breath, the warmth that he always radiated, the weight of his arm over your waist. You imagined that he would pull you closer and kiss your temple. You would fall asleep in his arms like you usually do and wake up in a mess of tangled limbs and sheets. He would kiss you even though you hadn’t brushed your teeth yet and you would sigh in relief at the feeling of having him close. He would probably say:

“Bad dream?” And you would nod and tuck your nose in the space between his neck and his shoulder.

“The worst.” you would answer. In this perfect world there were no more race wars, no more titans, all the cadets were healthy and thriving. You could sleep in as late as you wanted, or as late as Levi would let you anyway. The two of you would live in a little house in the country, Levi would own a tea shop in the city. Hange would visit every weekend for some beer and to tell you stories about the up and coming scouting legion. Life would be blissful, maybe if you had made it there, to a world without imminent death around every corner, you could have started a family. You’d never had the pleasure of asking Levi about his thoughts on children. But you assumed that it was similar to your own views, how could you bring a baby into a world of monsters? But in your perfect world, the monsters were slain, and it was just you and Levi, in your little house on the hill. You imagined what you would look like pregnant, you had seen your mother pregnant with your younger siblings before, you figured that you would look much as she had. You pictured Levi and you in your shared room as you gave birth, Hange would probably be the one to deliver your child. They would have Levi’s hair, and his eyes too. But your complexion and nose. They would be more than perfect, ten fingers, ten toes, the whole shebang.

You knew that Levi would be an amazing father, he would be patient and loving. You had seen it in the way that he cared for his cadets. You imagined him reading to your baby, making a face at them when he thought that you weren’t looking. Maybe you’d have another baby a year or two later? But you wouldn’t be in a rush, everything would be taken in stride, at a leisurely pace. Because you would have all the time in the world, all the time you needed to heal from the wounds you’d experienced over the years.

You opened your eyes slowly, and reluctantly the next morning. The cot creaked underneath you as you stared at the empty space next to you. A dream, that was all it was. There was no house on a hill or tea shop. No baby that you needed to rock back to sleep, no healthy or thriving cadets. The only part of your dream that had come true was the bit about the war. That chapter was over, but at the expense of all your other aspirations. The family you never got, the house, the smiling faces of your cadets, and most of all. The end of the war cost you the love of your life. You sobbed, the realization crashing onto you, the weight of the situation crushing your chest. You pressed your face into the pillow and let out an anguished cry, the images of that perfect life slipping deep into the recesses of your mind, while images of the dead took the stage. In the end it was only a dream, a foolish one that you wished you’d never dreamt.

Ochie. This one hurt me.

#ANGST #ouch my feelings #This hurts me sm #levi x y/n #levi x reader #levi aot #snk levi #levi x reader angst #canon #canonverse #attack on titan 138 #spoilers alert #spoilers ahead #aot fanfiction #aot fandom #aot manga #aot angst #sorry guys #its okay its not real it can't hurt u

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whatifyoulivelikethat · 3 years

Text

hello anon who has to move out but doesnt want to here

i seem to have upon myself a very important decision to make.

how should i tell my parents im not okay with moving out aka a decision that could permanently alter my life and the state of my mental being (which, for now, seems for the worse) without sounding demanding and/or disrespectful and/or non-adjusting and/or stubborn? i've never been the rebellious kid, never fought with them unecessarily despite having several, several reasons to. ive always just kept all my thoughts abt everything they do to myself, which is bad communication on my part ig. but the question remains, would it be selfish to ask them to stay where we are right now?

is it selfish of them to expect me to move in the most crucial years of my school life and leave all my friends? i dont know what to do. we were supposed to make a shift some 4 years ago, but due to my older siblings stern protests, we stayed. but now that sibling is gone too, and im the only child they have to take responsibility for (at least actively). should i also firmly put it to them that i wont be able to take the shift? or should i try seeing how the other states environment is, etc, and then decide?

a part of me thinks moving out will mean a new page. but that includes creating a niche for urself that is already undisturbed where i live rn. am i just avoiding working hard or am i just scared of being uncomfortable? i really wish i could talk to my parents better abt this. my mom has sensed my discomfort in moving and has said she doesnt want to see me depressed if we end up moving out. at least thats some reassurance.

What is your parents' reason for moving? I'm trying to understand why your parents want to disrupt their own lives (and move to a different state?). Is it selfish of them to expect you to move your entire life? Yes and no. Your parents are people too. They work and have to support their children, which is of course their choice to have kids, but that doesn't mean it's not hard. They have a mortgage/rent, they have jobs, they have friends, they have their own mental health to deal with as well.

Are they unhappy with their environment? Do they want to move closer to family in a different state? Have they researched where they want to go? Why do they want to go there? Is there a reason they can't last a few more years for you to finish school?

I think they should consider your opinion. You live with them. You are their responsibility but you are also your own person. On one hand, it is important to be able to adapt to new situations. You will lose most of your friends when you leave high school / college / university simply because your school peers will start moving at different paces and all of you will be finding your places in life. The friends you'll lose, you will probably lose in a couple years. The ones you'll keep will continue to stay in touch regardless of where you are. Technology can help immensely with that. On the other hand, if you're almost done with your schooling, it might not be worth disrupting it to transfer, especially if you feel enriched the teaching environment you're in right now.

Talk to your parents.

"Hey, can we have an open conversation about moving and the pros and cons of this major life event?"

(but maybe less, um, professional email talk XD I'm still at work lol)

If moving will affect your mental health in a negative way, then say so. It is important for them to know. If you want more information to why and where you're moving, ask for it. You deserve to know because, after all, you are moving there too. If you like your current school situation, mention that too. Having a learning environment that enriches you is not easy to find and, with the addition of a supportive social circle, should be taken into account by your parents. You cannot replicate that easily in a short period of time.

However, you also mentioned your current mental state is not great. If that is because of the looming prospect of moving, then perhaps speaking up will help. But if it is because you don't like your current living situation / environment, well, maybe moving can help. You can't know for sure. You should visit the area and see how you feel after that.

In the end, it will be your parents' decision. The unfortunate reality is that it is becoming more and more expensive to live anywhere, but wages are staying relatively the same. While they should consider your reasons for not wanting to leave, consider theirs for wanting to. It is possible that they simply can't afford it anymore and perhaps you might want to consider moving to a smaller place if you want to stay in the same area (until you finish school, for example).

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brideofcthulhu10 · 4 years

Text

I promised you guys I'd whittle something out before the end of the day! (Currently its 11:30 here, so I made my deadline lol) So here's a bit of drama and fluff. Every couple fights, even vampires, but the most important thing is to take responsibility for your actions and communicate. With that in mind, I give you:

Lost Boys Make Their Fem!S/O Cry During a Fight

CONTENT WARNING: Sexual Themes, Possible Triggers, Topics of Physical and Verbal Anger

David

David is not known to mince words in any scenario, so you can bet that means he chooses an s/o who can handle his bluntness. The same could be said for your fights. Unlike Dwayne and Paul, David rarely yells anymore. Instead he's harsh, cold, and what he says often hits very hard. He doesn't tip toe around when he's calm, you can damn well bet he isn't going to be considerate when you tick him off. He can be quite jealous at times, but often it doesn't lead to a fight. Admittedly he can be a tad petty as well, but getting genuinely enraged towards you is not as common. A spat is one thing, but a serious fight can get ugly fast. He is almost jolted when he hears a sharp breath muffled under your hand. Hell he's only ever heard you make that sound during sex, and this was definitely no time to be turned on. He'll turn around and see you with your hand over your mouth trying to hide your shame and feel ungodly levels of guilt.

David's words are harsh, and when you turn out of the room he's still sitting there utterly flabbergasted that you had such a tearful expression. After all, you had to know he didn't mean it..right?

David will definitely sulk, he hates admitting he was wrong. Not necessarily because he thinks he's in the right for being cruel, but rather he's sure you just need space and then things will get better. He'll expect you back any day... So when you don't, he kind of goes into denial and will wait, and wait… and wait...

The guys stopped asking about you because every time he hears your name mentioned he grows more pissed off. Eventually he explodes in a rage, which is extremely rare for David.

"So uh.. about Y/N-"

"Why isn't she back yet?! This is stupid, she should know that I don't mean it!"

"Hey, David, man why don't you go talk to Y/N? I sure if you-"

"No! If she wants to stay away, fucking fine! Good riddance!"

Truthfully he's upset. Beyond that, really. He feels awful for making you cry, he's afraid you might hate him now, but he doesn't know how to approach the situation. Apologizing is difficult, to David it's a form of defeat and a part of him doesn't want to face that it's his fault you're gone.

Eventually he caves in after a week and a half. He misses you like crazy! The guilt gnaw at him to the point that he can't sleep, he can't think straight. Even blood begins to have a bitter taste to it.

It'll be a late night, closer to 3 am when he just silently appears in your room. If you're asleep he'll just stand there and watch you for a moment. Mostly trying to build up enough willpower to do what he's about to.

Expect his apology to be kind of crappy. At least, at first. It'll come off as angry, even a bit misguided just because he really hates admitting he fucked up. But when he does, it's the most sincere, heartbreaking moment of your relationship. He may have to turn away from you and shut his eyes before any tears tempt his cheeks. You can't see him like that. Tears means he's getting emotional, that means he's growing attached, and attachment… it's a weakness. When he's weak and attached, people die.

He lost a love before because he couldn't protect her, he's lost his brothers once because he got careless and underestimated his enemy, he can't lose more.

Once he apologizes and you come back to him, he's a bit more attached to you physically. He'll hold you from behind with his chin on your shoulder while sitting on his bike, have you sit on his lap at the hotel, even on the boardwalk he's become more open by holding your hand. He isn't ready to say the big "L" word just yet, so this is the most he can muster. Whenever he's too harsh now he'll apologize by hugging you to him. David is still scared of getting close, but he's more afraid of pushing you away from his lack of filter.

Dwayne

It takes a lot to ruffle Dwayne's feathers, so already he's not one to be careless with his words. Unfortunately once he's pushed to that point all bets are off. This usually dismissive vampire of little words becomes an eruption of rage. A lot of it is physical. He'll throw a table or punch a hole in a cement wall. He doesn't mean to scare you. When he gets that worked up he becomes unbelievably tense, almost his body's way of warning you not to push him. With fangs out, standing in the wreckage of his rage he'll pause to see you failing to hold back a mess of tears and immediately stops.

At that point he's exhausted. Rage takes a lot out of him, in the end he just feels flustered and a bit ashamed for losing his cool. The longest a fight lasts is maybe a day or two, usually you give each other space but once he's made you cry that's a different story.

Even if you started the fight he recognizes he shouldn't have done what he did. Temper or not, that's not an excuse to blow up at you. He'll be frustrated with himself for losing grasp of his emotions, and he'll probably take some time to think over his words before trying to solve the issue. It's hard to look at someone else's point of view when you're pissed off at them, he knows that better than anyone. Especially since he grew up with siblings before becoming a vampire. When he's got a good grasp on himself he'll probably try to settle things with you so that you two can get things back to normal.

"Y/N… come here, please," he'll say softly, patting the seat next to him on the couch. As soon as you do, he slings his arm around your shoulder and yanks you into his chest. He doesn't look down at you or say a word, he'll rest his chin on his fist looking straight ahead searching for the right words. If it was a mutual argument he'll explain his own point of view after apologizing for losing his temper, and when it's your turn he'll listen quietly. If it was on him, he's even more remorseful. He's reaching almost a hundred years old by now, he should know better. Truthfully he had the same issue when he was alive, but he never meant to drive you to tears. You'll both sit quietly together on the couch, Dwayne rubbing your back until you've calmed down. After all is said and done he'll tell you how much he loves you, he doesn't want to leave any negative feelings still in your heart. Relationships are a pain, he knows that, but he cares about you more than his own life.

Paul

Oh when you two go at it the gloves are off! Paul is the most emotional of the group, so when he gets mad all he sees is red. There will be a massive amount of yelling, he may even be fighting back some tears himself. He'll get physically frustrated, punching walls, throwing furniture, kicking things over. Yes, he might get in your face, and you can definitely expect him to bare his teeth at you. Especially if you're in his face too. By now it's not scary, just even more infuriating that he's trying to make to back out using intimidation.

When you cry it can go one of two ways. It really depends on the context of the fight.

If you started it, or it was a mutual argument he may storm off somewhere in the cave. To him crying can be a cheap tactic to make him feel guilty, so if you've done it when you've done something wrong it upsets him… even more so because he feels like crap! He hates fighting with you! You're his kitten, his babe, regardless whether or not you started the fight he feels terrible seeing you like that. He's just so damn frustrated! After mellowing out with a thick ol' stick of the devil's lettuce he'll sulk out with his hands in his pockets. If you're still there he'll plop next to you and explain why he was so ticked off. Granted, it isn't exactly eloquent the way he puts it. After all emotions are tricky, he doesn't always know how to express himself verbally. If you've already left and it's still night, he'll fly over to your place and try to settle things with you. He doesn't want to go to bed angry at you, and he definitely doesn't want you going to bed upset with him.

If the fight was started by him, or if you're genuinely upset he'll stop. Especially if your tears are from him hurting you. Then it's all love. He sets aside his temper, and pulls you into his arms. It'll take a moment for him to calm down, but it's just a plethora of tender apologies while he holds you.

"I'm sorry kitty-cat," he coaxes you, holding your head to his chest. "Don't cry, okay? I hate it when you cry."

If you aren't emotionally drained there'll probably be a lot of make-up sex in either situation. Once you two have made up, he wants to do everything he can to be close to you. Plus, he needs a release as well. Afterwards, he'll snuggle up to you still wearily mumbling apologies under his breath.

Marko

Anger isn't a common emotion for Marko. Well, unchecked rage that is. He can get a little irritated, but it really takes a lot for him to lose his temper. Even still it's closer to David's methods than Paul. Again it's the context. If you've done something wrong or started the fight he'll be more prone to outbursts.

While you're screaming at him, in his face he'll just watch you silently with a blank stare. On the surface he's calm. There's not a lot of yelling, but there can be some physical rage if you really push him. Marko would punch the wall and leave a crumbling chasm in his path, reminding you what happens when he's pushed too far. Truthfully he'd never put you in harm's way, but when he gets like this it's hard for him to stifle his predatorial rage that tends to poke through the cracks.

If he's the one who's upset with you, even if it's on him, he probably won't let on at first. While not petty, he'll seem distant from you. In public he'll yank you to him like a wolf warning others to stay away from his mate, but alone in private won't touch you as much. You may try to ace your hand on his shoulder and he'd immediately excuse himself from the room to sulk. If you really get clingy he grows even more agitated and will have very rough angry sex with you, his fangs may even come out in the process. Especially if he's jealous.

When you cry, it sucks. During a fight, after jealous defiling, when he intimidates you, it just sucks. If you step away from him he knows he's messed up.

Part of him doesn't want to cave in so easily to your displays of emotion, but if you're legitimately hurt by his actions he'll just let out an exasperated sigh. He may excuse himself verbally for a moment to try and gather his thoughts, or he'll sit you down and try to explain his reasons for being so enraged. If it's on him he'll carry you to the couch and hold you to him.

"*sigh* Look.. I'm sorry for going overboard the way I did, baby girl. I shouldn't have done that…"

If you cry after sex he'll feel like an utter asshole and hold you tight to him. He'll pet your hair, rub your back, even offer to let you smack him for being such a jerk. He may try to nibble your neck over kiss you until you start to giggle then give you his signature smile.

"There she is. I'm sorry I made you so sad, baby girl."

In all honesty this isn't a common occurrence. Marko still rarely ever gets mad at you, most of the time he's very laid back. So losing his temper is a bit jarring for him as well. He's never sure what will come out when he loses his temper, which is a huge reason why he does everything he can to keep himself in check. You may be a pain in the butt sometimes, but so can he. And above all, you're his pain in the butt. He still loves you more than anything at the end of the day.

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sarcastically-defensive17 · 4 years

Note

Probably you have some request, but I was wondering if you could write a Calum x Reader based on The Moment I Knew where even the guys send her a happy birthday message but Calum was radio silence (If you're interested in it not ending with angst maybe a second part based in The Last Time haha, lol)

The Moment I Knew - C. Hood

Okay so, I had never heard this song before and now I’ve played it on repeat. Your girl lives to write angst so I may have gone a bit too far but I hope you like it!!

I will have a part two done soon! Send me a message so I can tag you in it, if you like!

Thank you for the request, lovie! 💕

Original story by sarcastically-defensive17

Her 24th birthday should have been a day she spent surrounded by her dear friends and her boyfriend.

Her friends were waiting at Luke and Sierra’s house for their guest it honor who would arrive with Calum.

She should have spent it with a smile stretching her cherry tinted lips, not droplets smearing her perfectly done mascara.

It should have ended in a night of passion, not heartbreak.

It should have been a lot of things, but Calum couldn’t even remember a single day to spend with the woman he claimed to love so much. And Y/N couldn’t sit back and deal with his ignorance and inability to be there for his girl.

You should've been there. Should've burst through the door with that "Baby, I'm right here" smile.

She woke that morning to messages from everybody. Everybody but Calum.

Sierra and Luke has stopped by to wish her a happy birthday, and give her flowers and a dress that Sierra had picked out for the party that night.

Crystal and Michael called to apologize for not stopping by but to wish her a happy birthday and make lunch plans for the following day with promises to see her that night.

Ashton and KayKay took her out for breakfast, something which Calum was meant to attend but she received no reply from him. Her friends tried their hardest to take her mind off of the missing person at their table. They also had promised that Calum would most likely see her later that night.

And it would've felt like a million little shining stars had just aligned. And I would've been so happy.

She didn’t want to pull it, but this was the last straw. In their over year long relationship, he started to slack after their anniversary.

He showed up late for their anniversary dinner, barely replied to her messages, even when he was at home, spent more time out with the guys than paying any mind to Y/N. She thought the last straw was when they had made big plans to spend the day together on Christmas Eve. Her favourite holiday.

Christmas lights glisten, I've got my eye on the door, just waiting for you to walk in.

He didn’t show until late that night. He simply left his present for her sitting under her tree and crawled into bed with her sleeping form.

Still, she pushed aside her feelings of abandonment, for she loved the kiwi man too much.

But this was the most she could take.

The minutes ticked by, and she sat on her lounge, lips stained red, black dress accentuating every part of her body that she felt confident in. Heels slipped onto her feet, that made her walk away more than usual.

She felt like a million bucks when she had gotten ready. Now, she felt like the booby prize.

After all, she must be if Calum couldn’t spare a few hours to attend the party Sierra had planned for her special day.

He was radio silence all day. Not a single message. Not even a quick gif of a cat wearing a party hat like Mali-Koa had sent her, although the elder hood had also sent her a long paragraph about how much she adores her and how happy she makes Calum.

If only Calum made her feel like she made him happy. Or that he even wanted her around.

They were now 45 minutes past the time Calum had promised to be there.

She was fuming.

But the time is ticking. People ask me how I've been, as I comb back through my memory, how you said you'd be here.

She can’t quite determine the amount of times that Calum has stood her up. She understands that his music is important to him, but he tells her she is important to him as well. How?

How can he be so sure that she is important to him, when he has left her sitting alone on her birthday. Her birthday.

You said you'd be here

Enough was enough. She stood up from her lounge, straightening her dress out and checking her makeup in the mirror. If Calum wasn’t going to take her to enjoy her birthday, then she would do it herself.

She typed a quick message to Calum before she threw her phone on the abandoned lounge, snatching her keys from a hook and slamming the door closed behind her.

And it was like slow motion. Standing there in my party dress, in red lipstick, with no one to impress.

“You said you’d be here. Don’t bother showing up tonight. Happy birthday to me, right?”

And they're all laughing as I'm looking around the room. But there was one thing missing, and that was the moment I knew.

She had been at the party for hours, and all she wanted was to go home and drown her sadness in ice cream and flood her pillow with tears. Namely, the pillow that trapped Calum’s scent like a butterfly net.

It was hard to be with her friends, because, even though she was introduced to them as Calum’s friends, each of them became something special to her, and they all grew closer over the time.

Especially Luke and Sierra.

Tears threatened to spill from her eyes as she struggled to settle in the atmosphere without him. For a minute she thought whether he would have come to her if she called him but given the three and a half hours that had passed since her message, she knew he had something better to do.

Or somebody better to be with.

The tears started to fall and her hands started to shake. She had always struggled with abandonment issues, but this experience felt new.

She couldn’t handle it anymore. She couldn’t be with Calum anymore.

And the hours pass by. Now I just wanna be alone but your close friends always seem to know when there's something really wrong.

She trudged down the hall, tears blurring her vision as she forced her way into the bathroom of the house.

Heeled shoes echoed behind her and Sierra’s dark head of hair flooded her gaze as the woman’s arms wrapped around her, letting her sob into her shoulder.

Y/N tries to stop the tears, but the pain is so overwhelming.

Her birthday, the one day in the entire year that she requested her boyfriend to be there for her with no exceptions, he let her down.

Again. Lately, he only let her down.

She couldn’t handle it anymore. She couldn’t handle being second best. No, third best.

Not even that.

So they follow me down the hall, and there in the bathroom, I try not to fall apart and the sinking feeling starts.

She lowers herself to the ground, her legs no longer supporting her. Sierra crouches with her, still holding her friend through her breakdown.

She knew Y/N struggled with abandonment, as she had gotten the closest to the girl, but she never imagined Calum could be the one to make her feel this way.

“It’s okay, breathe babe. Breathe,” Sierra cooed, stroking the woman’s perfectly done hair. She looked stunning, and that made Sierra’s heart ache more. “I’m sorry he did this, I’m so sorry.”

Y/N sniffed, trying to will her tears to stop. Mascara was most likely smudged on her face, and on the shoulder of Sierra’s royal blue blouse, but she couldn’t contain the emotion that had been building all day.

For months even.

For three months, Calum hadn’t been there for her. If not for the random mornings she would wake up with him by her side, or the fleeting messages of open promises, it was as if she was single.

She might as well be.

“He said he would be here,” she sobbed, her voice sounding more broken than anything Sierra had heard before.

“I know, honey, I know.”

As I say hopelessly, "He said he'd be here"

“Do you wanna tell everybody to head home? You and I can veg out and watch some movies, if you like?” Sierra proposed, rubbing the arms of her friend whose tears had halted.

Y/N shook her head with a small smile on her face, “It’s okay Si. Let’s just enjoy ourselves, yeah? No more tears, I promise.”

What do you say, when tears are streaming down your face in front of everyone you know?

Y/N felt embarrassed to have broken down in such a way in front of her friends. She had always tried to be the tough one, even cracking a smile that very morning when Ashton asked about her absent boyfriend.

But she had hit her limit.

And what do you do when the one who means the most to you is the one who didn't show?

The room was full of so many people, every one of her friends, her siblings, even her parents and some family had made the trip to see her for her birthday. Everybody but Calum.

Almost everybody she loved and held fear was there to witness her standing in her party dress and her red lipstick. Her fixed mascara and now clean face. With her best friend holding her hand and a chocolate cake placed in front of her.

The lit number “24” stared back at her as she tried to ignore the missing piece to the puzzle that was the night.

Their voices faded to the background as they all sung to her, watching as she blew out the candles with one thing on her mind.

‘I wish you were here’

And they're all standing around me singing "Happy birthday to you". But there was one thing missing.

Y/N now knew, she couldn’t be with Calum anymore.

And that was the moment I knew.

Calum had this overwhelming feeling that he was forgetting something. He couldn’t place his finger on it, but he knew it was something important.

His fingers plucked the strings of his bass, and his mind ran through the lyrics to a song they were working on for their newest album.

The album has been taking up most of his free thought, for he was determined to get some of the songs just right for when it drops.

His heart dropped when he checked his phone, a message from Y/N that had been sent four hours before.

Guilt boiled in his stomach and he was grabbing his keys, slipping his shoes on and rushing out the door without a second thought.

“You said you’d be here. Don’t bother showing up tonight. Happy birthday to me, right?”

He could feel the malicious intent in the message, and he deserved it. This was the seventh time he had stood her up, and he knew that she had every right to be mad at him.

Even if she told him not to, he was on his way to Luke’s house to apologize to her. He just thanked god that he had already put her present in his car.

He sent a message to his best friend asking if his girl was still there.

Luke replied with a simple and snappy “she left. She doesn’t want to see you.”

He sighed, resting his head against his steering wheel as he dialed the number accompanied by a heart.

Y/N would be alright, he knew it. She would answer the phone, apologize, and tell her he loves her. She would return the sentiment, and all would be well.

Wouldn’t it?

You called me later, and said, "I'm sorry, I didn't make it".

Y/N saw the name show up on her phone as the sound of Calum’s voice floods her dark bedroom.

She made true of her promise to go home, drown her feelings in ice cream and soak her pillow with tears. She just wished that her ringtone for Calum wasn’t his angelic voice singing “If you don’t know.”

She hit the answer button and switched it onto loud speaker so she didn’t need to love from her positioned curled up in the middle of her bed.

“Hey baby, sorry I didn’t make it. Lost track of time writing. I love you so much, happy birthday angel,” his voice transferred through the receiver and she couldn’t bring herself to find an answer other than what is on her mind.

And I said, "I'm sorry too".

“I’m sorry too, Calum,” she answered, feeling her words catch in her throat.

“For what, baby?” He chuckled, brushing off the serious tone of her voice.

She steered her nerves, sitting up and the sound of crinkling sheets temporarily flooded Calum’s ears.

She let out a deep breath, letting the tears fall as she spoke. “I can’t do this anymore. I can’t always be a second thought, especially when it’s my birthday and I’m sitting at our friends house crying my eyes out because you couldn’t give me enough respect to tell me you won’t be there for me.”

“Y/N, I’m so sorry-“

“So am I, Cal. I can’t be with you anymore. Goodbye.”

And that was the moment I knew.

#calum hood #calum hood x reader #luke hemmings #ashton irwin #5sos #michael clifford #songfic #5 seconds of summer #taylor swift #sierra deaton #crystal leigh #kaykay blaisdell #requested #love this song now wth

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