At the dining table for breakfast
Jason: Heh.
Jason: Hahahaha.
Jason: MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Bruce: *raising the newspaper up higher*
Alfred: *placidly pouring coffee into Bruce’s mug* Did something interesting happen, Master Jason?
Jason: Alfred, I am about to have the perfect surprise for that bony a-Tim. The perfect surprise for Tim.
Alfred: *putting away the bar of soap he pulled out of nowhere* Is that so? Please do be careful not to make a mess here. The waxing was just done in the dining room.
Jason: No problem, in fact-
Tim: *entering sluggishly*
Jason: In fact…in…fact…Megamind, what are you doing here?
Tim: ……..hm?
Jason: What are you doing here?
Tim: eating??
Jason: You-why are you coming from the right side bathroom-weren’t you going to use the upstairs one on the left?
Tim: oh. Dick was already in it so I decided to use the other one.
Jason: what.
Tim: what.
Jason: No. Hahahahaha. You’re joking…nononono-god, Tim, WHY ARE YOU SO STUPID?
Tim: ????????
Jason: You-
Dick’s voice thundering from a floor away: JASON!!!!
Jason: *staring blankly then running forward and smacking Tim on the head* It’s all your fault!
Tim who hasn’t slept or had coffee or know why something he doesn’t know about is his fault: ???? WHAT DID I DO?!
Jason: *running past and leaping out the window* See you later, losers. Bye, Alf.
Disappearing seconds before a blur of wet skin, white towel, and neon pink hair rushes past and follows him out the window.
Tim:
Bruce:
Tim: ……Did you have breakfast yet?
Bruce: …….Hrmgh.
Alfred: *tutting* I just had the floors done. Master Bruce, would you mind redoing them? I’m afraid I must catch the mailman before he gives treats to Titus again. He’s leaving crumbs all over the entrance.
Bruce: What about Ti-
Bruce: *glancing back to see a lone leaf float in and drop slowly to the ground*
Bruce: ………
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throwback thursday: tfota edition
throwback to when jude rethought every single one of her life choices and decided getting a sugar merdaddy would be easier
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i cannot explain how simultaneously complexly fascinating and deeply hilarious this fucking intimate coming out scene between flint and silver is in the s3 finale of black sails.
like. imagine you are james flint. you have a horrible secret tragic backstory you won't tell anyone about how you became the fearsome and capable pirate captain you are today. that tragic backstory involves being the bisexual unicorn for a rich couple's poly triad dreams in 1700s england. you confide in someone outside of this dynamic for the first time after everything happened about what happened because they asked to know. you bare your soul uncharacteristically about being bisexual, polyamorous, and griefstricken. nobody else but one person in your life has seen this of you. the person you confide this to is someone that genuinely worried about you killing them in front of your entire crew like, literally 10 days ago, for confessing to betraying you abt smth that took months of efforts and dozens of death to try to achieve. this person, who is the most kindly understanding and softspoken person on your ship of ragtag hardened pirates, looks you in the eyes by the soft lighting of the campfire under cover of nightfall after burying literal and now metaphorical secrets, and says, in order, to your FACE, that 1) firstly he is a hashtag gay ally (in the 1700s) and so sorry for your loss but 2) he's been thinking lately it's kind of weird everybody around flint dies and he doesn't want to be next bc everybody flint trusts is a dead man walking bc 3) hey flint have you ever considered maybe it's your fault this happened and that you are doomed bc of just who you are as a person? and 4) but it's okay actually bc if it came down to it i think i've grown as a person enough that if anyone dies in this partnership it will be you 😤
like. to his face. i repeat, to the face of the most feared pirate this side of the americas, who has considered killing him within the past month or two, who opened up to silver in the most baring way possible for a regular man, much less a man like flint--to his FACE silver said that "maybe the homophobia you experienced that ruined your entire life was actually your fault for existing and everybody you love is doomed to die because being around you is a curse :/" in the most GENTLY understanding tone of voice while staring deeply into his eyes and professing genuine care and friendship and respect for him.
i'd lose my mind. i'd implode. no fucking wonder flint takes a preparatory, longsuffering swig of liquor with the most exasperated expression i've ever seen on a 40+yo man's face the literal second silver's mouth is open for longer than 2 sentences. silver is SO goddamn lucky this man stopped seeing him as an enemy 6 weeks ago and instead switched to begrudgingly ominous mentor and weird older brother.
and they're both still being friendly about it like silver isn't casually portending one of their deaths because of the other because of the inherent darkness of their souls and like flint hasn't killed men on his own crew for saying less than this behind his back. this is fucking insane energy. i want to study them both. i want to microwave them at high heat. i want to put them in a jar and shake it. you two really live like this?
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an interesting point i remembered that i will tack on to that last post is that lime gets cocky post-timeskip. the m-34th trained him enough so that he can spar with her (as seriously as they can as friends) and win, and from what he sees from her power now/remembers seeing from her power before, he considers himself on-par with her.
so he can take mochi in a fight. and 98% of things mochi can take in a fight, he can too.
but at some point they encounter that 2% of things that lime cant do. and for the first time he gets to see the raw unhindered destructive power of the cat witch in her prime, and its that oh-too-familiar humbling feeling. to see the kind of shit shes capable of just makes the whole guild fall silent
and its STILL true that he can take her in a fight, which gives him comfort, but he realizes that the ONLY reason thats still true is because of the witch's oath of not taking life
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