#low spoons just means low energy

[amethystsoda]

@inkublu no worries!! It’s a theory of energy expended for tasks (especially helpful for people with chronic illness or adhd/autism to help define and keep track of their physical and mental energy limits).

SOURCE

[kellystar321]

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[notanotherblorbo]

The problem with having friends is that I want to hang out all the time and do things for 1 million years but I am also. Tired. And having a job. And having a family that has a bunch of shit going on all the times.

[serqphites]

nothing hurts me more than seeing ellie be written as a stone cold cheating dom who is really rough and mean to her gf, and honestly just lacks personality in general?? let’s not forget that ellie is just a girl who needs her girlfriend!!

18+, mdni, strap-on sex (e! reviving), teeniest bit of angst? oral mentions (r! receiving)

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gf!ellie who sometimes just wants to be the little spoon! she’s sooo nervous about it for no reason. you’ll obviously poke fun at her for it, reassuring her that it’s not a big deal, but she’ll still never outright ask you to spoon her.

ellie had been hesitant to let you roll away from her tonight, you’d offered her the comfort of spooning you to which she kindly denied with a gentle smile and a shake of her head. figuring it wasn’t that much of a big deal, you said goodnight like normal and i turned away from one another (touching butts as usual). after laying there for a few minutes, the sound of what you can only assume is teeth chattering begins to fill the quiet of your shared bedroom. is that ellie? the thought lingers for a moment until the feeling of ellie’s little butt wriggling against your own drags you from your mind, causing you to look back over your shoulder at her curled up frame in the darkness. “you okay els?” your voice is a gentle whisper, ellie nodding in response to your question before she responds back, her voice too barely above a whisper. “i’m jus’cold” your arm is draped over her waist in seconds, your front pressing up against her back as your face nuzzles into the back of her neck. what ellie wants, ellie gets.

gf!ellie who sometimes just needs a hug. :(

patrol can get overwhelming for her sometimes, exhausting her body and mind to the point she can’t even speak coherent words as her bottom lips quivers, her fingers coming up to pinch her baggy eyes as if to close the dam threatening to overflow. “oh el’s” you coo, reaching out for her just as she crumbles into your arms.

gf!ellie who can never shut up about you. constantly telling jesse about how much of a dork you are and how you “match her dorkegy” (dork energy). poor dina has to always give her advice on how to make you feel better after she’s accidentally upset you for the 2948593923th time, like i said she is just a girl!! joel is usually the one asking ellie about yourself, always wanting to know what the two of you have been getting up to because isn’t he just so dndosjrnd???

gf!ellie who just wants to hold your hand while her tongue sends you to heaven and back. every time you moan her name or just make a noise she likes, squeeze. ellie lovessss squeezes. your hand? she squeezes i. love. you. whenever she can’t say it. your thighs? she can’t keep her hands off. your cheeks? you’re too cute that’s not her fault??

gf!ellie who sometimes just wants you to fill her up with your dick strap.

ploughing into her from behind, ellie propped up on her elbows with her head held low, her pretty whimpers and groans egging you on. “takin’ me s’good el’s, how’s it feel hmm?” you can’t help but poke fun, enjoying the role swap a little too much. “feels s- fuck” poor girl can’t even speak, her words falling apart in the back of her throat. how did you let her do this to you so much? you’ve only just started and she’s just about ready to have a warm bath and watch one of the many movies from her very proud collection.

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[ms-demeanor]

Okay THANK YOU for saying “your body craves what it needs” is bs because that felt like bs this whole time.

Like you don’t need more sugar if you crave sweets that is NOT what that means. Sugar is a food that people crave because it tastes good/sugar I think is an addictive food??

Idk it just felt like people making excuses when they’re supposed to be trying to eat a little healthier (healthier, not low cal, not low fat or keto or whatever. Diets are bs but craving sweets does not mean sugar is healthy thing for your body rn)

People crave sugar because it tastes good, which is not a bad thing, and there is an evolutionary reason that sugar and fat taste good to us. Carbs are your body's favorite thing because it is SUPER easy for your body to break them down into useful molecules.

I'm not a fan of the idea that any foods are addictive and I'm skeptical of models that suggest "refined food addiction" is a thing with a measurable, real-world impact; there's a lot of debate in that area of nutrition science and to me it kind of seems like the tools people use to track food addiction aren't really examining the addictiveness of specific foods, but are decent screening tools for people who have compulsive behaviors around food (for instance, one group of people who the Yale Food Addiction Scale has repeatedly been demonstrated to be REALLY good at identifying is people with anorexia).

But your body needs sugar all the time, whether that's in the form of complex carbohydrates that get broken down into simple sugars by your body, or simple sugars that you stir into your tea that then gets sent to your cells as energy. If your diet doesn't have enough sugar in it, your body has a processes to turn non-sugars into sugar so that it can use the sugar (gluconeogenesis!). Sugar is unambiguously good for you in the way that fat is unambiguously good for you. You need sugar to survive and it's not a bad thing if you want to have a cookie or a soda or some candy, and again - your craving probably isn't telling you that you're deficient in a specific micro or macronutrient, but I still think that you should listen to your craving.

Like, I don't know how much you know about psychotherapy but the attitude that a lot of diet-focused discussion takes toward cravings reminds me of cognitive behavioral therapy. "When you crave chocolate, no you don't! Don't think about the chocolate, you actually probably need starch or sugar or something, let's redirect that into having a banana, or some frozen berries, or some spinach. Point away from the unhealthy craving and into the healthy replacement, or, better yet, ignore the craving. Mind over matter. You choose how you act."

(I actually think "X craving means that I want Y food so I shall replace it with Z, which is similar" "craving salt means that I am dehydrated and need electrolytes so instead of potato chips I'll have some soup" is how this goes most of the time. I think this is a diet culture thing, not a food positivity thing.)

And you know what I think that's a garbage way to look at both food and emotions.

When I'm craving ice cream it's not because I've been mostly vegetarian for a week and am low on dietary cholesterol (AN IMPORTANT NUTRIENT. Don't be scared of consuming some cholesterol), I'm craving ice cream because sugar and fat taste good. So instead of trying to pretend that I'm getting "what I need" from a piece of salmon the size of a deck of cards with no salt and some lemon squeezed on top, I'm going to scoop out a moderate portion of ice cream and eat it while focusing on how much I enjoy it. And I'm going to do that instead of sitting down with a pint and a spoon while I'm stressed at work and eating something that tastes good to distract from the fact that work is stressful. (And sometimes it's fine to sit down with a pint and a spoon but I will say that's generally best not to do while you're in the middle of something stressful)

And if you want to relate that back to therapy I see this as more of the DBT approach. I've accepted that I want ice cream so I'm going to eat it in an intentional way and enjoy it instead of eating so much that I don't want dinner, or that it makes me feel sick, or that I eat it without noticing it because I'm using it as a distraction instead of a snack.

I'm not trying to shut down the negative emotion or shun the "bad" food, I'm accepting that I have that emotion and I'm working this neutral food into my day so that I'll feel good tomorrow and won't get heartburn overnight.

So I see that you're trying to be kind of anti diet culture here, but I don't think people need excuses to eat sugar, and I actually think that making excuses to eat it is significantly less healthy than just eating the sugar (which, again, is unambiguously healthy to eat as part of a varied, filling, nutritious diet). It seems like you may have internalized some ideas about sugar that are not great even if you are trying to separate from diet culture.

Nobody is ever going to eat a diet so healthy and nutritionally complete that they don't want candy or cake or cookies sometimes. Food is not only fuel, it is entertainment and culture and comfort and distraction and celebration and a million other things, but it is not bad. I don't think there's a single universally bad food out there, or any food that never belongs as part of someone's diet (unless it's something you're allergic to - I don't care if you're craving peanuts, do not eat peanuts if you have a peanut allergy).

So it's okay to make sugar, you don't need to make excuses. It's okay to eat sugar if you're craving sugar, even if that's not what your body "needs". But also sometimes a craving is your body saying "I'm hungry and this sounds good, please feed me" even if you're not a finely-tuned spectrometer that's craving blueberries pie because you actually need antioxidants from the blueberries (you're not a finely tuned spectrometer, you don't need the antioxidants from the blueberries, it's perfectly fine to just eat a slice of pie).

[delusionalisted]

“Low Spoon” witchcraft doesn’t exist.

This is a post for all my disabled siblings. (But it applies to broke or low-income siblings as well.)

By the way, you heard me. What does exist is capitalism, consumerism and scarcity, all things that don’t belong to witchcraft. Witches in the past were mostly poor, unprivileged and unhealthy individuals with just one skill: knowledge. Yes, for today’s americentric standards they’d have been called “low-spoons practitioners”.

No fancy candles? No cauldron? Just one heavily used tarot deck?

Yes, no fancy candles Susan, you can keep those paraffin toxins to yourself.

Cauldron, Deborah? I have no money to waste for your pinterest aesthetics. We cook in this house, I can simply use a kitchen pot.

Mais oui Elizabeth, just one old tarot deck. It’s used my dear Elizabeth, you know… that’s something that happens when you actually use… tarot instead of purchasing 15 decks, then ending up using just one or two of them and leaving the other 13 to collect dust and resentment towards you.

*Sigh*

This is all to say, witchcraft doesn’t need a 9-steps process to be achieved. Calling it “low-spoons” practice just means “high spoons” practice is the norm. It is not. Most importantly, it never was. You don’t need 30 specific crystals to perform a spell, you don’t even need one most of the times.

— Addition: If you fit into the “Low Spoons” type of witch and you noticed that your spells or rituals don’t work, then let me share one of the possible reasons why they fail: you followed a “low spoons” recipe or spell preparation, consciously or unconsciously gave the title “too much power” (your subconscious registered your spell as something lesser than a proper ceremony) and any energy that you and the ingredients released just plopped like a pudding on the floor.

Branding something as “lesser” in spirituality can lead to two results: failure or high delays. Yes, the herbs you use still have, nourish and release power, but without YOUR faith, their power alone can do so much; in most cases, your subconscious skepticism rejects your desired manifestation leading to a delayed or completely failed magickal attempt.

[ilyhaitanii]

hi moot! pls hydrate while toasted <3 LMAOAOO i would like to kindly request a blurb from you about sylus or zayne dealing with their s/o after they’ve had a mental crashout … <333 ((i am so mentally emotionally physically drained right now i’m losing my mind (╥﹏╥))

luna my love hiii !!! you ask and you shall receive. in a very good mood rn so you get both hehe :3 i rlly hope this makes you feel better and pls get some rest n give yourself a break darling <3

ZAYNE is quick to notice when you're about to crash. you become irritable, a lot more emotional, yet at the same time you become meek and quiet. he's aware of that voice that lingers in the back of your mind telling you that you have to do all of your work or tasks right now or else you'll disappoint everyone, but your body just can't take it. and that's okay, zayne will swoop in and save you. whether it's cooking you balanced meals to make you feel better, sitting down on the couch as you cuddle into his larger frame while your favorite sitcom's laugh track plays in the background, or it's simply doing your tasks for you-- zayne is on it. he'll even start a warm bath for you if you haven't been able to shower due to exhaustion (he doesn't judge. he knows better than anyone how low and destructive mental crashouts can be.) even if you don't have the energy to wash yourself, he'll take a rag and scrub you clean and adore you with rich oils and lotions. in all, zayne's a very good caretaker. he will catch you when you fall and nurture you back to health. whether that is physically supporting you by doing things for you, or it's a simple twenty-minute cuddle session as he gives you a pep talk-- zayne is there for all of that. "be a good girl and let me do this for you."

SYLUS is also a very attentive lover. he notices your lethargic behavior and how your rebuttals seem more annoyed rather than playful. his first instinct is to leave you alone, allow you to simmer down. however, when he notices you aren't calming down, in fact your behavior has become even worse, he's quick to help you out in any way he can. he'll cook all three meals for you, even spoon-feeding them to you while cooing at how obedient and cute you are chewing on the eggs he made this morning. when you come home from a mission and throw yourself into his arms sobbing, sylus is immediately on the defense. he wraps his arms around your form, pulling you into his lap. he wraps your favorite blanket around you while kissing your cheeks with an occasional peck on your lips. he's the type to mutter sweet words and allow you to sob into his chest. even if the words you're rambling make no sense, sylus will sit there and quietly listen. he supports you in anyway he can. whether that means taking more time in the morning to kiss and reenergize you, or sit down and help you organize your tasks, and even sit beside you on the balcony and listen to your troubles. sylus will go above and beyond to see you back on your feet, healthy and happy. "it's alright, sweetie. let it out, im here."

© ilyhaitanii - do not repost, translate, plagiarize

[fanficsdumpomg]

Brozone NSFW Headcannons (Fem!Reader) (Male!Reader for Floyd)

John Dory:

*Okay, John Dory during his band days probably didn't have much experience because he was so focused on making Brozone perfect, probably a couple flings here and there.

*John Dory now is like a sad little pet who hasn't been touched in 15+ years. I mean c'mon people man spent the last decade and a half alone in the wilderness with only his pet armadillo. Man's going to be pathetic and whiney.

*John Dory gives me total switch vibes, can go from dom to sub in an instant when he bottoms out

"Fuuucckk....baby...please touch me... kiss me.. just do something, don't torture me.."

*Noisy, noisy, and whiny old man. Whines during foreplay and whines during sex

*John strikes me as a total ass and thigh man, he loves to constantly have his hand on one of those two things. Out on a dinner date? The hand is on your upper thigh. At a party? The hand is on your ass. Basically, anywhere y'all go no matter if it's public or private he will be feeling you up.

*Please, please sit on his face; the man wants you to crush him while he eats you out.

*And speaking of ass, John Dory loves to give you those surprise spanks during the day. For the life of him, he cannot keep his hands off of you and y'all usually end up in a play tackle fight which ends in him manhandling you more.

*John Dory also strikes me as the type to love marking you up and you marking him up. Hickies, yes! Scratches on his back, double yes! Wants to feel you and have you feel him the next day.

*Fav positions: Face-off, 69, Downward doggy and Standing Missionary.

*John Dory's turn-ons? Kissing him all over his face, challenging him (bringing out his competitive side), and playing with his hair. Honestly, you could breathe on this man, and he would be ready, he just loves you so much!

*John Dory's other Kink's/Fetishes include, A scent kink (receiving and giving), outdoor/public sex, praise kink (please tell him he's a good boy), overstimulation and voyeurism (likes to watch you touch yourself).

John Dory's cock is definitely above average, his normal size is around 5.5 inches and when hard it is 6 inches. John probably had better grooming habits during his brozone era but post brozone does not groom down there so it is hairy.

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Bruce: (Spruce)

*Bruce during the Band days was probably a serious womanizer/fuckboy

*Gives me soft Dom vibes, specifically daddy dom vibes.

*Bruce is a big tease, loves to tease you during sex and during your guy's day to day too.

*"Don’t work too hard, baby. I want you to have plenty of energy for me later."

*Kind of a perv too, asks you to get something from a low cabinet and when you bend over, he loves to press his bulge against you.

*"That's right,Baby Girl; cum on Daddy's cock!"

*Bruce is a big man himself, so he loves chubbier people. Loves having more to touch and feel during your more intimate and affectionate times.

*Bruce has a serious breeding kink, wants to have as many children as possible with you and recreate the family he lost when brozone disbanded. if you can't have kids for any reason, that's fine; he's still going to cum inside you every chance he gets.

*Bruce loves his partners chest, total tits man. Loves to come up behind you during the day and grope you teasingly to get you turned on. Also loves to play with your chest during, sex; it's a big part of his foreplay. Loves to pinch, bite and mark up your chest.

*Total Munch Vibes ✨, I mean have you seen the man eat? He’ll eat you out so good.

*Bruce is a mix between quiet and loud, definitely a moaner though. Mixes between moans and groans during sex

*Fav Positions: Pretzel dip, spooning, reclined butterfly and mating press.

*Loves when you touch his hair between running your fingers through it, pulling it or stylizing him; the man will be putty in your arms.

*Another one of Bruce's turn ons include strategically placed kisses. Kissing him on the back of his neck, ear or wrist will make the man go feral and pounce you in an instant.

Bruce's other Kinks/Fetishes include Edging (likes to make you work for it), Food Play (Man loves to eat, and what better way to combine his two favorite things) and Overstimulation (likes to give you as many orgasms as possible after edging you for a period of time).

*I head cannon that Bruce is the smallest of his bros but the thickest. Standing at a 4.8 with a thick head. Has good grooming habits and shaves down there when he can.

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Clay:

*Clay in mind is a strict dom. Because he had to be the "fun one" during brozone he likes having control over his personal life now.

*Clay strikes me as an ass man, when you're a brat loves to spank/paddle you as a punishment.

*"Excuse me? Do I have to take you over my knee to show you how to behave, little girl?"

*Since I head cannon that he’s an ass man, he would probably love anal

*As much as he pretends that he hates when you act out, secretly he loves when you're a brat; loves having that feeling of control over you and giving out your punishments.

*Super quiet during sex, does not make any noise.

*You work with clay doing administrative duties. Clay loves to put a vibrator inside you and deny your orgasm until you finish paperwork. He also sits you on his lap while you work and whispers teasing remarks and gropes you while you work. You'll be a crying, pathetic mess during but the reward is so sweet.

*While Clay is a strict dom, he's not a mean dom; if you follow his rules and are a good girl you will get rewarded by getting the most mind-blowing orgasms.

*"You're already that wet? God you're pathetic."

*Big degrader, loves to watch you cry from his mean words.

*Loves to Give and Receive Oral. Big head pusher when you give him oral and a big tease when he gives you oral.

*Clay's turn ons also include Light touches (Brushing up against him in public and private), Kissing (Those slow kisses that turn passionate and rough), and playing with his hair.

*Clay's Kinks include Bondage (Loves to tie you up/immobilize you during sex), Roleplaying, Gagging (Will Gag you if you get too mouthy or loud), and Edging (controls when and how you will get your orgasms)

*Clay is a grower, 4.5 flaccid and 5 inches hard. Definitely nicely groomed and shaved weekly.

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Floyd:

*Floyd is the sensitive one of the group so I imagine he's a switch sub leaning.

*Big whiney crybaby, will cry for you to touch him and will cry during sex.

"*Gasp*, Please... don't stop"

*Floyd loves all of his partner, but his favorite part would his partners hands touching, groping and manhandling him.

*Loves to be bitten, wants to feel like he belongs so biting and marking him up to show that he's yours is a given.

*Loves to be tied up/restrained in any way possible. Tying his arms up, tying his legs together is 100% okay in his book. Also loves some sensory deprivation when being tied up.

*Even if he is doming you, you're still in some sort of control albeit riding him or being a power bottom.

*When doming he loves to be sensual; praise you, kiss you and touch you all over.

*"You...feel..so..good" You...are so...pretty, I'm so lucky to have you"

* Floyds also likes to be praised when he subs, wants to know how much you love every part of him.

*Prefers to give oral rather than receive it.

*Fav Positions: The Bicycle, Missionary and The Hot Seat

*Floyd's turn ons also include, playing with his hair (please pull his hair, he will be putty in your hands), when you lightly and teasingly touch him on the back of his neck, and when you lovingly gaze at him for long periods of time.

*Floyd’s other kinks include Melolagnia (loves listening to you sing and loves to perform duets with you.), and piercings (this is the emo in him but he totally finds piercings hot)

*Floyd is def a shower, he remains at 5 inches flaccid and hard. Probably the cleanest and best groomer of all his brothers.

_________________________

Branch:

*Branch is a total Dom, goes from Soft Dom ✨ to Rough Dom.

*Possessive Sex is a must with this man, he has been alone for so long and when the two of you get together he gets insanely possessive/jealous all the time.

“You’re Mine….” “No one else can have you…”

*Honestly gives me Soft!Yandere Vibes and Trolls 1 Branch probably considered locking you up in his bunker so you’d be safe from the world.

*Loves to mark you up! Bite marks, hickies and scratch marks will go anywhere and everywhere on your body. Wants everyone to know who you belong too

“Branch loves every part of his partner which ties into his marking kink. Will touch, grope, spank and bite every part of you.

“Branch loves to praise be praised, praise him during the day on his building skills or on his intelligence and the man will go feral for you.

*Prefers to give oral, he doesn’t mind receiving he just like seeing you shiver and moan while he eats you out.

*When praising you, Branch loves to tell you how smart/pretty/good you are.

*”So pretty…I love you so much…you’re so good for me…”.

*Big Man-handler, will throw you around during sex like you way nothing.

*He loves to be in control during sex. Will control pace, tempo and speed.

*Loves to restrain you during sex, tying up your arms, legs, etc. Likes to see you at his mercy.

*Branch’s turn ons include, seeing his partner making intelligent decisions, soft kisses in passing and spending quality time together (you could’ve hung out with your friend but you choose to spend time with him? Mans in love)

*Fav Positions: Seated Scissors, Cowgirl and Reverse Cowgirl and the Lazy man.

*Branch would also have a smidge of breeding kink, he’s looking to recreate that family connection he lost when brozone disbanded, also that would cement the idea that you are his forever. If you can’t have kids that’s okay, you can adopt and he still likes to play out the fantasy in his mind and comes inside you during sex.

*Loves having his ears nibbled on, guaranteed way to instantly turn him on.

*Just like his favorite bro, branch is into Melolagnia. Loves hearing your voice and gets majorly turned on after singing with you; it’s like and adrenaline rush for him.

*I head cannon Branch is the biggest and thickest out of all the brothers. Dude is a grower with a 5.5 inch flaccid and a 6.5 inch hard. Has a thick base that hits you in all the right places ✨. Branch has good grooming habits but does not shave.

[snuggleboots]

₊˚♡˚₊ The Akatsuki, communicating their love ₊˚♡˚₊

₊˚♡˚₊ feat. Itachi, Kisame, Kakuzu, and Hidan ₊˚♡˚₊

Tags: Fluff, mishmash of random headcanons, general cutesy relationship stuff.

♡ Kisame communicates his love in various ways, but it's always most sincere in the little things he does. If you're both walking up a flight of stairs, he'll always walk behind, just so he can steal a kiss without having to lean down a bit to reach you. Usually, he'll follow that up with a stupid little, 'How's it feel to be the tall one for once?'

♡ He's a man who likes to sleep in, but when you're sleeping with him, it's his god-given duty to wake you up with some combination of stupid, sleepy shenanigans. It typically starts with some needlessly aggressive cuddling while he's waking up, which becomes a smattering of kisses and little nips dealt wherever he can reach, and eventually develops into... either cackling over your groggy irritation or moving into a little extra lovin', if you feel up to it.

♡ Cuteness aggression is a real thing, and it's his curse. If your tongue pokes out just a little bit when you're thinking hard or focused on something, if you flex your toes like a little cat when you stretch, or purse your lips when you're frustrated - he's gonna bite you. Always does. He can't help it, he gets the impulse to squish you, bite you, pinch, or bully you a little bit when you're minding your business, doing things that he finds objectively precious. You make his teeth itch when he catches you off guard, and you flash him those big eyes, and- UGH.

♡ Now, he isn't the perfect listener by any means, but Kisame is very attentive when tiffs happen in the relationship. He listens with the full intention to learn and solve the problem, and if things get a bit heated he'll calm himself down and ask you to back up and explain why you're upset. He doesn't make a habit of taking himself too seriously, which really helps him navigate rough patches well.

♡ Your personal space is his preferred space. You're stretched out, reading a book or resting your eyes? It doesn't matter where you're hanging out, that's still just as good as an invitation in his books. When he saunters on over and nonchalantly plonks his entire body weight on top of you, he doesn't even have the courtesy to say sorry for the disturbance. Nope, he's on a mission, hooking his arms around your waist and just burying his face in your belly. You're warm, you smell so nice, and he's livin' large on cloud nine, which means you're stuck there until he's decided he's had his fill for a bit.

♡ Itachi's a man with simple wants and simple displays of love. If your days are busy and he's tucking into bed before you are, he'll cosy up on your side to keep it warm until you're ready to join him for the night. It's a little silly, a little cute, watching a man like him streeeetch right out when you meander into the bedroom, and unceremoniously shimmy back over to his side before settling in and promptly passing out. That is, however, a quiet little token of his affection.

♡ He's perceptive about things you don't enjoy doing, and especially things you tend to stress about. Without so much as mentioning it, he'll tend to the little things like that just to take them off your plate. If you're sick or in pain, Itachi is more than content to take care of you. Sorry, it's a small facet of who he is, to tend to the very few people he cares about. The man also cooks, and pretty damned well at that. His breakfasts are a cure-all when you're feeling like absolute garbage.

♡ There is such a thing as an 'Uchiha pout', and he weaponizes it for petty reasons and to ridiculous extents. He isn't always just some stone-faced caricature of a stoic, and it's brilliantly displayed when you deny his simple requests, such as relaxing after a long day, curled up on the couch with him when he's having a low-energy, no spoons left kind of day.

♡ Yes, he wants to settle his weight into your side and just be - or better yet, rest his head on your shoulder and soak up some easy, effortless affection until he's feeling a bit better. (Please card your fingers through his hair, he won't nod off again, really-) If you really have the audacity to say no - and he will call it that - you're going to see him purse his lips, pinch his brows and angle his face away from you like some kind of disappointed housecat. 'You make me lonely', he'll halfheartedly mumble, because it's a guilt trip that works and he's fully aware of that fact. No, he does not feel bad about it, either.

♡ Kakuzu's 'love language' exists in subtle acts of service and physical touch, generally shared in private. No, he's not going to say he loves you, but he can show you that your presence doesn't irritate the part of his brain that makes him want to shove his fist through someone's skull.

♡ When the seasons turn and you inevitably wind up freezing cold every goddamn night, he's content to settle beside you on the couch and tuck your chilly feet under his leg while he unwinds with a good book. There's no need to fill the silence, just let it be and enjoy the moment. You're cosy, he's relatively happy, and for all intents and purposes, you two are set to have a wonderful, quiet night.

♡ And since Kakuzu's a habitual early riser, you're typically still snoring long after he's up and ready for the day. When it's time for him to get up and get dressed, he'll flop his blanket - because he sure as hell doesn't share one - over your head before he turns on the light to get dressed. When he's done and the light's out he'll pull it down and be on his way without having disturbed your sleep.

♡ On the odd time that you're waking up with him, he'll slip by while you're getting dressed and steal a kiss to your shoulder.

♡ When his nail polish is chipped and it's time to reapply, he'll let you do it. For one, it's less for him to do, but! It's also a little token of trust on his part to toss you the polish, plop his hand in your lap, and grumble something like, 'Don't paint my damn fingers this time'. You probably still manage to flood his cuticles, which he will grumble about, but it's the thought that counts.

♡ Hidan's love can sometimes be compared to that of a fat, obnoxious housecat. If he's off-duty when you're trying to enjoy some free time, he is firmly wedged up your ass because he likes attention and you actually listen to him when he talks about... whatever's bouncing around in his head.

♡ Lounging on the couch when he's just coming in from a month on the road? Haha, sucks to be you actually, because he's instantly ripping through the living room at terminal velocity, with full intentions of divebombing your sorry ass before you have the chance to scramble up and evade him. You're still wheezing from impact, and this guy's already launching into a tirade about every little gripe he's had about his mission. 'Kakuzu was a dick, the ration bars taste like shit, the coil broke on my scythe and, and, and...'

♡ Hidan loves a good late-night hangout, so he's usually around to burn time with you when you can't sleep. Even when you don't feel like talking, he always fills the silence himself by chatting your ear off about whatever comes to mind. Sometimes it's just life stuff, other times it's his interests - and often, he'll animorph into a used cars salesman for Jashinism. You expect it, he loves that you actually listen and engage with him.

♡ 'You only get to die if you lived, no matter how great or shitty your life was, get it? Seeing the end is a privilege', he'll mutter into the lip of a half-full mug. When you're tired at the table, jolting upright after accidentally dozing off for the fifth time during his proselytizing, Hidan will slide you a cup of something that'll keep you fucking wired for the night. It's not to be a dick, obviously, but you're listening! And this is important shit! 'Diseased, crippled, or fuckin'... broke; at the end of the day, you're alive, and your pain's recognised by Lord Jashin. Suffering is a gift imparted, that only the living receive, and...' something something Jashin is great, and you should probably definitely convert.

♡ He's claimed half of your bed, and sleeping with him fucking sucks. He sleeps like a starfish and steals the blankets, and you're not waking him up unless you feel like investing some serious effort into doing so. He snores, and on the nights that he winds up sleeping half on top of you, you have to deal with the fact that he drools like a dog and sleeps with his mouth hanging open. You don't wanna deal with that? Tough shit, you're comfy, and somehow your bed is just waaaaay better than his. Okay? Okay.

[amomentsescape]

Heyyy darling,IM POLITELY BEGGING,for some stu and billy with feral ,hyper,punk gremlin s/o headcanons. Simply the boys trying to be as casual as possible so they dont get suspected for the previous murders but then they’re running around with their own little bundle of chaos. Im talking like a real troublemaker,just for the fun of it but always just watching all the drama happening,never being involved even though they caused it. For example: •causing misunderstandings in other friendgroups •cutting someone’s car wheels (or similar stuff) after they’ve been rude to someone in their friend group,maybe when gale didnt respect sidney‘s privacy in the first movie •S/O has a collection of anything shiny and glittery things they stole (from spoons to necklaces) just cause they like how it looks and they know it will cause some chaos. •Flirting with randy,tatum and stu to piss the boys off a bit •Oh or maybe billy getting them one of those vertical cloths or swings for their living room,I feel like that would fit cause billy would be a bit tired of his S/O letting their hyperness out on him. •When they come home from killing a bit later sometimes,they just find their s/o sleeping in the most uncomfy position (criss cross apple sauce type of shit) on their swing,drooling a bit,their body twitching every now and then

I dont know if any of this made sense my head is all over the place right now. <3

Billy and Stu (Separate) with Feral Gremlin Reader

Billy Loomis x Reader, Stu Macher x Reader

A/N: This was honestly so fun to write!

Billy Loomis

Boy, he didn't quite know what he was getting into when he first became interested in you

But he's in it for the long run, so here we go

Making Billy jealous is a common theme with you

Outright flirting, giggling, and dancing around with other people automatically makes Billy see red

But there's something about his possessiveness that you love so much that you keep doing it anyway

It almost always leads to a fight between Billy and the other party

And damn, isn't it fun to watch?

But that's not to say that you don't also feel your fair share of anger as well

Someone pisses you off even slightly? They're gonna regret it the next morning

Keyed cars, egged houses, graffitied threats

There is no limit to your creativity to get back at them

Billy simply huffs and puffs at you, berating you about being too "loud" with your actions

He's trying to keep things down-low by all means

And the last thing he wants is one of your actions getting him caught and put in jail

But there is something kinda attractive with how you stir up drama and give Billy some attitude

He doesn't like easy

He wants a challenge

And boy do you give him one

But on days where he simply cannot have you running amuck, he has you lay down in your own little hammock he bought you

For whatever reason, that always has you relaxed

It's like you become a whole different person with it

And Billy lets out a little "thank you" to the Gods each time he sees you just swinging away

He loves you, but damn, it's hard to keep up with you

Stu Macher

Stu on the other hand, is not phased at all by you

In fact, he matches your energy about 80% of the time

A friend pissed you off? You're both screaming and laughing while talking badly about them

Things are getting a little boring? You and Stu tell different people made up stuff that someone else is "saying" about them

You both love to stir up drama and watch how badly things can unfold

Stu is less concerned about getting caught than Billy anyways

What's even the point in killing if you can't have some fun outside of it?

So having you around is the perfect way for Stu to let out his hyper energy and keep things exciting when he isn't killing teens

But when he is out and about, he's thinking of you

You're probably at home eating all of his snacks in that moment, but he doesn't care

After his victims meet their fates, he is happy to dig around in their pockets and their homes, looking for anything even the slightest bit shiny to bring back to you

Nothing compares to the way your eyes light up at the gifts

Hell, you have a drawer in your room just filled with all things shiny and captivating

But Stu knows he'll have to wait until the morning to give you your gift

Because just about every night he comes home, he finds your head handing off the couch with your legs and arms splayed out, snoozing away

Remnants of chips and chocolate can still be found on your lips and fingertips

Stu secretly has made a photo album in his phone just for all the pictures he takes of you when you're sleeping

It's about time Stu had someone who met his chaotic energy

[stillfrownyclownlol]

*slams my head on the sink* 100 questions for aidlyn.

I'm dead serious btw. This is long

1. Who fell first? Who fell harder?

Aiden fell first and Ash fell harder. But they are both horrendously down bad for each other 🫠

2. Who is the one who fusses the most? Does their partner mind very much?

They're both kinda fussy in different ways, but Aiden is the one getting hurt more often so Ash is fussing the most. Not that Aiden minds he eats that shit up.

3. What is their love language?

I think I mentioned Ash's is quality time and for Aiden it's physical touch :>

4. Has either ever gotten a hickey off the other? What was their reaction?

I've gotten a hickey from somebody biting me (IN A PLAYFUL WAY get your minds outta the gutter 🤡) so I feel like Ash would get one in the same way?? Like. Aiden just bit her cheek or smth. Cuz he's bitey. And it left a mark. She was really pissed about it 😭 like "Ow wtf man-!"

5. What is something they like to do together?

Oh, they're not picky...Aiden likes doing everything with Ash so he lets her pick. Ash likes doing something calm because she likes seeing him more low energy and relaxed like binging a show or doing a puzzle. If he leans on her she's done. She gone fr.

6. Who would ask the "would you love me if I were a worm?" question? How would the other answer?

Aiden would but just for fun and to not repeat myself lets imagine Ash asking 🤡 lowkey would be embarrassed and ask in the tiniest voice ever. Aiden ofc think this is adorable and tells her in great detail how he would get her a huge terrarium with the finest dirt and lots of food and Ash is just staring at him wondering why he put so much thought into it.

7. Who likes forehead kisses? Who likes hand kisses? Who likes neck kisses?

Forehead: Both :) Aiden likes her reaction and Ash kinda implodes whenever Aiden pushes her bangs back to give her a lil forehead smooch

Hands: Ashlyn, somehow it's easier than kissing him on the face or mouth but still conveys the intimacy she feels

Neck: probably Aiden, but it tickles Ash way too much for them to do it properly. He surprised kissed her nape once and she freaked out, so she threw her head back and broke his nose 🤡

8. Who is the big spoon? Little spoon?

Neither I STAND BY THIS. They sleep facing each other let me have this.

9. If there wasnt enough seats, how would they sit? One on the other's lap? One on the armrest? One on the floor in front of them?

Aiden steals the seat, makes a joke about how Ash can sit on his lap, Ash says she would literally rather sit on the floor, Aiden gives up the seat all pouty, then his restless ass spends the rest of the time finding a comfy spot before sitting on the armrest.

10. Who plays with whose hair?

Aiden 1000000% because he's obsessed with it. In the beginning Ash would pinch him whenever he did it, but after he started braiding her hair it didn't bother her as much. Likes fiddling with the tips or whipping the braid around like some weird ass stim toy lol 🤡

11. Who is clingy?

I think they both are in different ways...Aiden more tho, and he's more obvious about it 💀

12. What is something the other does that makes them flustered?

They're both idiots so they get flustered whenever they're soft with each other 🫠 for Ash, the aforementioned forehead kiss + Aiden praising her, and for Aiden it's whenever Ash touches his face really softly or initiates snuggling.

13. What is something they find attractive about each other?

Guessing this means physically?

Aiden: Her freckles. Or her hair. Or her eyes. Don't make him pick 🤡

Ashlyn: she's hard pressed to admit it but she does like his face- also likes his hands and looking at the scars.

14. What is something they argue about constantly? Is it a deep-seated issue or something small?

Aiden isn't big on fighting in gen, he doesn't have the motivation for it. Ash usually just scolds him for his piss poor self preservation skills and he'll sulk about it. Not above picking a fight about smth stupid if it gets her attention tho

15. How do they comfort one another when the other is upset?

Depends what is bothering them. Aiden usually goes for a hug if she allows it and tries to talk to her. Aiden usually prefers being alone if he feels like he's gonna get upset so it's a little hard for Ashlyn to help him, but normally tries to reassure him that she's not leaving, or holds his hands or face to help ground him. She's a very logical person so she tries to think of ways to solve a person's problem if they're upset, but most of aidens problems are internal/emotional.

16. Who is the better caretaker? Does their partner like being taken care of?

Aiden is better with physical injuries because...he's had them all before multiple times and he knows what to do haha. Ash appreciates the help but I wouldn't say she enjoys it. Ash is better with illnesses, which is great because Aiden acts like he's literally dying whenever he gets a cold (forcing him to spend all day In bed?? Just give him a death sentence while you're at it), so yeah he's a little baby that likes being taken care of.

17. Who steals whose clothes? Does their partner mind?

Most of Ash's clothes don't really fit Aiden...Ash steals his jackets/hoodies on accident because Aiden will give them to her (she gets cold easy) and she forgets to give them back (she's also a little weird about it and sleeps with them). He lowkey gets kinda smug when he sees her wearing them lol

18. They've had a major blowout. How do they handle it?

Like...the care tire blew out? Ash would probably change it (her parents taught her) and while she's at it she'd show Aiden how to do it too (he's never learned)

19. How good are they are communication?

.... C+ Probably rely on the gang a little too much to solve their issues. They're working on it, alr?

20. Who handles the spiders? Who screams directions in the background?

Neither of them are afraid of bugs BUT Ash does not like insects partly because she doesn't know how they'll react to smth. Logically tho she knows spiders are useful so she asks Aiden to get a cup and throw them outside.

21. Who typically tends to initiate intimacy first (this can be a conversation, action or anything)?

Depends on the kind, Aiden definitely seeks out Ash's attention more often (like asking her if she wanted to do the puzzle), but he's a little nervous about physical affection, so in the beginning of the relationship that was Ash. Now that he knows it's usually okay he is more touchy, but now Ash looks for his company more often so she will start conversations.

22. What is something - either character - doesn't like about the other?

Ashlyn: above all, his own self apathy. She is...really not cool with him hurting himself all the time. She also thinks he's way too impulsive and irresponsible sometimes

Aiden: don't ask him! But sometimes he thinks she's very...cold. and it hurts his feelings.

23. Who said "I love you" first?

Aiden, they were already together so he thought he should let her know :P

24. Who kissed who first?

Ash told him she wanted to first and he initiated it (since Ash didnt know what to do)

25. Do they have any pet names for one another?

Ash doesn't really like them, she feels stupid saying them 🤡 the closest is Mr. Durable if he's being an idiot. All her "idiot, dumbass, stupid" are affectionate. Aiden has like a lot of batshit crazy weird pet names for her that Ash doesn't understand at all. Partially to annoy her.

26. Who gets jealous most often? How does the other deal with that?

Pffffff. Aiden definitely. Ash usually doesn't really notice ("he's acting weird...well, he's always weird") unless somebody points it out. She's very pragmatic about it, she just bluntly tells him he's being stupid and that she's not interested in anybody else.

27. Who tends to drive on long journeys? Who navigates?

Ash is designated driver because Aiden is an absolute maniac on the road (even tho he says he's a fine driver) and they have a GPS because Aiden gets to distracted to navigate 💀

28. Do they trust one another? Are comfortable discussing their fears with one another?

I think in canon, and even in this theoretical relationship, they're a bit away from being totally open with each other. But they do trust each other.

29. What's an insecurity they hold about their relationship?

Aiden's BPD, even after everything, will flare up and he thinks Ash will leave him, especially cuz he's so "annoying and pushy", etc etc. This kinda bleeds into Ash's issue, which is the fact that she's putting so much into this relationship and she still feels like Aiden doesn't really trust her.

30. Describe how one would cheer the other up after a hard day.

Ashlyn: she says Aiden is like a kid, because to cheer him up she just has to hold him. A long cuddle session is in order, and some kisses for good measure :> Then she'll offer to go out tomorrow to do smth fun.

Aiden: she's probably overstimulted and exhausted, so he basically preps her/their room so she can relax to the fullest and does all the chores so she won't need to do anything. Orders takeout/goes to the drive-through so she doesn't need to socialize.

31. How would they describe one another?

Ashlyn: weirdo adrenaline junkie who doesn't know when to quit...and an idiot. He's still HER idiot tho.

Aiden: his guardian angel, bless her, because he must give her a heart attack per day at least.

32. Can they communicate private thoughts whilst in company? If so, how?

Not really haha. They're both difficult people to read, and they're not exceptions to each other.

33. Which one of them gives "that look" when they other is acting like a fool?

...Come on 🤡 You guys know. You know it's Ash.

34. How do they address a problem in their relationship?

...they'll probably ignore it for a while 💀 When somebody brings it up it'll be Ash. She is genuinely very invested in the relationship so like, she doesn't want it to blow up in her face haha, so she will look on the internet for a solution (or ask Taylor)

35. How does each significant other view any exes and former relationships?

Ash doesn't have any exes which is great because Aiden would probably be jealous of that too 🫠 Aiden doesn't have any like, real proper exes either. I guess she would be a little curious about his past relationships tho, just because he doesn't talk about them.

36. What is something that would break their hearts?

For Aiden, if she couldnt take him anymore...and for Ash, it kinda breaks her heart everyday that Aiden still thinks she'd leave him behind :")

37. Who is more likely to avenge their S/O if they were hurt or killed?

More likely??? I mean lowkey Aiden but they would both try- don't underestimate Ash's anger lol

38. What would be their ideal evening in?

I feel like they would binge watch a reality TV dance competition show or smth along those lines. Order a bunch of junk food, top it off with ice cream...Ash would probably fall asleep on him at like 1am and Aiden would fall asleep a little bit later because he sleeps easier with her next to him :)

39. Do they dance? If so, who's better?

They both dance!!! Ash is, ofc, an excellent ballerina and she knows some ballroom dancing. Aiden is better at freestyle and stuff like that, but Ash is better on a technical level.

40. What is a song that reminds you of the relationship?

Bro I suck at picking songs 😭 LOWKEY LOWKEY Acting My Age by The Academics 😭 Or No Time To Explain??? By Good Kid?? GODDDD I SUCK AT THIS SO HARD- Vampire Empire, Big Thief?? I'm gonna cry 😭

41. Who sings to the other? Are they any good?

Aiden tries to serenade Ash all the time lmao 🤡 he's not a really good singer or anything, but he's not terrible...

42. Who teases who? What about?

Aiden teases her more, but she'll drag him if it's necessary. He definitely type of guy to say "Omg you had a crush on me?? That's so embarrassing" when they've been dating for 6 months...

43. Who gets up early? Who stays in bed late?

Aiden can't sleep, so he gets up really early. Ash actually likes sleeping so if she can she's gonna sleep in 😭

44. Who's more likely to bring the other coffee or breakfast in bed?

One of the things Aiden can do in the kitchen is use the coffee machine!!! So he will bring her coffee in bed! No breakfast because...he doesn't know how to make breakfast... and he doesn't wanna cause her trouble by burning the pan or smth stupid like that 😭

45. What's the worst thing the other can say to one?

Ash: for him to leave her alone and to not talk to her again.

Aiden: telling her to leave like everybody else does in his life (he pushes people away)

They actually make me mentally ill /pos

46. If they were ever in a life or death situation, who risks their life?

HA. They both do, no questions asked.

47. If it ever came down to it, who is turning to the darkside to save the other?

Mm. I think they would both do it, but Aidens morals are pretty loose when it comes to Ash lol. If you asked him to kill somebody to protect her he wouldn't feel that bad about it.

48. If they ever had less that 5 mins to tell their partner something before never seeing them again, what would they say?

Ash: To not be scared, because she wants him to know she's going to do whatever she can to find him again.

Aiden: absolute mess, telling her how much he loves her and that she made his life so much better and worth living (Aiden, buddy-)

49. Is there a word or gesture that makes either of them melt?

Ashlyn: I'm serious, the forehead kiss, she literally stops functioning 😭

Aiden: When she looks him in the eyes, he knows she doesn't like that very much so he feels really special. Bonus points if she's holding his hands or cheeks.

50. Who's the romantic?

Aww, definitely Aiden. He's so silly about it all. Doodling their initials together, daydreaming about her, getting her gifts.

51. Are there any characters who ship them?

Taylor and Logan lowkey.

52. Who cooks? Who does the dishes?

Ash definitely cooks, Aiden can barely make Ramen. Aiden usually does the dishes to be fair between them, but Ash needs to supervise because he's prone to leaving grease or not cleaning the utensils properly (he wants to finish quickly)

53. Who eats healthier? Who's got the sweet-tooth?

Aiden is like a human garbage disposal, he eats the worse trash food humanely possible (and somehow is still not sick); his diet is basically fast food joints, convenience store snacks, and soda 💀 So Ash eats healthier... BUT Ash is the one with a sweet tooth. She really likes stuff like cookies, cakes, and chocolate. Aiden prefers salty and savory snacks (tho he does like candy, ex. gummy worms or lollipops, stuff like that)

54. What's something that they don't really care for but tolerate because the other has an interest?

Ashlyn: Video games. In general she finds them kinda stressful and loud, but she watches him play for fun (especially horror games)

Aiden: ballet shows. He ADORES watching her dance but like if she's not on stage he's not gonna be into it...

55. Who spoils who? Does their partner tolerate it? Do they secretly enjoy it?

Aiden absolutely spoils Ash, he has cash to burn, so why not on things she wants? :) lowkey Ash finds this a little weird, especially if he gets something really expensive (like this espresso machine he got her one Christmas) but she doesn't really have the heart to complain besides a "You don't need to spend so much on me..."

56. Who tends to be the level-headed one? Who is feral?

Ha 💀 Ash genuinely does her best to be level-headed...but deep down they're both feral.

57. Who reminds the other to wear a coat when it's cold out?

Ash. Aiden is one of those guys who goes out into snow In like jeans and a t-shirt to buy ice cream, so she crams him into a jacket...he lets her, cuz she zips it up for him and he gets a little goofy over that.

58. Do they hold hands?

..yeah :)

59. Is there a spot they tend to kiss or caress habitually?

Aiden brushes her hair back, so he touches the area around her temple/back of her ear a lot. Also kisses the palm of her hand whenever she holds his face. Ash kisses his cheek a lot, near the corner of his mouth.

60. Are they willing to show PDA? If not, is there a reason?

Well, Aiden doesn't really have a problem with it, but Ash is a little reluctant because it tends to draw unnecessary attention to herself and she does not like. Being perceived.

61. How would they describe their S/O in one word?

Ashlyn: "...interesting" (on a generous day, otherwise shes gonna say idiot 🤡)

Aiden: "incredible!!!"

62. How would outside characters describe their relationship?

Tyler calls it "barely functioning" which annoys Aiden to no end. Taylor thinks it's sweet how dedicated Aiden is to Ash...even though she's a little worried about him. In general everybody is kinda...pleasantly surprised the relationship hasn't exploded yet.

63. How would they describe one another while sleeping in the same bed?

Aiden normally kicks while sleeping so the first time Ash woke up with her shins really sore and bruised 🤡👍🏽 She's also not a fan of him snoring lmao. Aiden thinks she's a blanket hogger but, well, he won't complain about that. She also tends to curl up into a ball which he finds cute.

64. Would they ever answer the above question if it was asked to their face? How would they react?

Maybe when they were older and already living together, otherwise she needs to explain why they fell asleep on the same bed at the same time...lol

She'd be a little embarrassed that he finds her cute when she's sleeping haha. Aiden on the other hand would feel terrible about the kicking thing, AND the snoring (since she doesn't sleep with her earbuds in) 😭

65. Who tends to take the lead with intimacy?

Well, for kissing, Aiden tends to initiate it more, because he has a better idea of what you're supposed to do. But Ash sets the pace, if she doesn't want to do smth or stop, she tells him.

66. Have they ever been caught kissing? What would be their reaction if they were?

I dont think a peck is embarrassing...I guess this is like an open mouth kiss, but if they were doing that, I feel like they would only do it at Aidens house whenever it was empty because Ash is kind of paranoid about that stuff. If she got caught she would like. Die. Girl would be redder than her hair 🤡 Aiden would be a lil bit flustered depending on who caught them, but mostly annoyed at being interrupted.

67. Have they ever kissed anywhere questionable?

....In the phantom dimension lowkey

68. Who is more vocal? Who is the better kisser?

Aiden is just a loud person in general. He sighs a lot (he's lovesick fr), and sometimes he starts mumbling about how pretty she is and how in love he is with her.

They're both pretty bad kissers lol 🫠 Aiden loses his breath very quickly and Ash is super stiff.

69. If they were to go shopping, who holds the bags? Who decides where they go?

Ash doesn't really like shopping...? Lowkey stressful and she doesn't like getting new things. Aiden goes shopping because he has the money for it (he likes buying clothes) but he wouldn't make Ash carry his own bags lol

70. If they went out to dinner, who is paying? Would there even be a discussion?

Aiden. Ash usually tries to pay for herself but Aiden is pretty insistent about it, and he's SO rich that she has a hard time feeling bad about it.

71. If someone were to insult their partner, how would the other handle it?

Ashlyn: would snap back with something equally rude, but she's not super worried about Aiden, he has a thick skin and she knows that.

Aiden: will kill them with his bare hands. If Ash lets him.

72. If someone flirted with or showed an interest in their partner, how would the other react?

Ashlyn: probably surprised, she forgets not everybody knows about his massive baggage lmao. Teeniest tiniest bit jealous...

Aiden: absolutely the type of guy to swoop in, put his arm around her, and call her babe in front of the person. Will probably pull her away from the situation and then death glare at the person from over his shoulder :>

73. Who knows the other better? Why is this?

I think they both know each other pretty well, but Aiden knows all this useless trivia about Ash because he's obsessed with her /hj

74. Who's more likely to bail who out of jail? Would they give the other one shit for it?

Ash absolutely 💀 (it's with his own money too). She definitely gets on his ass for getting arrested over smth stupid like vandalism or "being a public disturbance" (and when he's older for stuff like driving under the influence or smth)

75. Which - if any - other famous ship's vibes do they emulate?

Man idk any famous ships :0 Like, what, an unhinged guy x girl clinging so hard onto those hinges? Guys let me know if you know any!

76. Are they soulmates? Do they believe in that?

I dont think they believe in spiritual stuff like that haha. They just know they love each other ^_^

77. What is something they would never forgive the other one for doing/saying?

Hhhhhh there's definitely a timeline where Aiden kills a person for Ash and I don't think she would ever really get over that, even if she still stayed with him. For Aiden...is hard, because it would be stuff that's not in character for her...maybe if he wasn't getting better and she left him. He would feel betrayed that she "abandoned" him when he was at his weakest. But even then...idk if she apologize for it I think maybe he would take her back...idk idk, they're complicated 🤣

78. Who has memorised the other's medical history?

...Aiden

79. Also, are they each other's first contact in an accident?

Technically its their parents but they would call each other right away, and when they're older Aiden would definitely change it to Ash. Doesn't help that they tend to get into accidents together tho 😭

80. What tropes could be applied to this relationship?

Grumpy x Sunshine, A Couple with Emotional Wounds, Battle Couple, Cannot Spit it Out (because fuck me that's why), Devoted to You (Aiden to Ash), Fire-Forged Friends...I'm this close to putting Heroes Want Redheads but...I'll control myself-

81. Did they have a meet cute? Or was it a train wreck?

More like a bus wreck, she literally ran away from him 💀

82. Make their relationship into a list of A03 tags.

Hm...Idiots in Love, Biting, Mutual Pining, Obsessive Behavior, Complicated Relationships, Blood, Hurt/Comfort, Bruises.

(All of this list is fluffy shit so let me think about the darkness for a second)

83. Who gets frustrated more easily? How does the other calm them down?

Ashlyn lowkey, she gets irritated when she feels like she's not being understood or smth isn't going to plan. Most of the time Aiden will try and talk to her, which has a 50/50 chance of working lol

84. Have they ever almost lost one another? How does it effect their relationship?

LMAO yeah 😭 they HAVE lost each other and they both blame themselves hard for it, it makes Aiden even clingier and more overprotective than he normally would be, and Ash is hard on herself because she feels like she can't protect him when it's her job.

85. Their partner is tipsy. How do they handle it?

Ash: semi-regular thing she deals with as an adult. He is usually a reckless drunk person so she tends to redirect his attention towards herself (so he will shift into flirty drunk mode lol) and hopes he'll fall asleep soon :p

Aiden: he'd get upset because Ash would never willingly drink enough to get tipsy- lowkey his first thought is that somebody drugged her 🤡 (Ash probably just didn't notice her own limits) she's a pretty quiet drunk tho so she won't cause him too much trouble. She's also more affectionate which he guiltily enjoys

86. Who gives the best gifts? Who gives the more thoughtful? Who goes for expensive?

Okay, so...like...it's not like Aiden goes for expensive gifts just cuz they're expensive, it's just like. Sometimes he just so happens to get something that is expensive for her! And he knows her pretty well, so he knows what she likes. Ash is always kinda nervous about gift shopping because she feels a little...apprehensive about buying people stuff...but she's not bad at it, it just takes her a while.

87. If they ever lost one another in a public place, how do they find the other?

Ashlyn: She just calls him on her phone lol, if she doesn't have it on her she will just walk around looking for him because...he's kind of hard to miss-

Aiden: Definitely starts yelling her name really loudly and bothering all the other people in the area asking if theyve seen her💀

88. What's the darkest secret they have ever told one another?

I feel like for Aiden it would be telling her about his past and stuff :p Ash doesn't exactly have a dark past or anything, I think at that point it would just be saying some dark thoughts she's had.

89. Would they ever consider marriage?

They don't really have strong feelings about it, Ash just asked him for the tax benefits.

90. Would they ever consider starting a family?

...I think Aiden is more into that idea than Ash is.

91. Who likes kids more? Who can't stand them?

Man okay neither of them dislike kids- Ash is just awkward around them and doesnt know how to take care of them 😭 Aiden has a lot of fun playing with kids but he's not exactly a responsible babysitter either lol.

92. There's a puddle in one's way. What does their partner do?

Ashlyn: ...??? Lmao she's not gonna do anything, maybe try and jump over if they really can't go around it 😭

Aiden: he's gonna jump in the puddle. It's for his enrichment. If Ash doesn't wanna get wet tho, he'll probably try and pick her up and put her on the other side lol

93. One has hurt their leg on a hike. How does their partner carry them?

Aiden is stubborn about that stuff and he's hurt his leg A LOT so he's only gonna lean on her for support. If Ash hurt her leg he'd carry her on his back.

94. Their pet has caused destruction. Who puts the pet in jail? Who defends the pet?

Ash is the disciplinarian, she's putting the dog in pet jail 😭 Aiden is probably going with the dog, he definitely contributed to the disaster...

95. Who gives flowers to their partner? What sort of flowers do they like?

Idk I feel like they're not big on flowers. Ash doesn't want smth that's gonna die in a few weeks- I feel like the only time they'd give each other flowers is if they were chilling in a meadow or smth. I think Aiden puts daisies in her braids.

96. Who reads the newspaper? Who wants to see the cartoons?

Aiden isn't big on reading- Not that Ash is either, but she'll skim the paper and give Aiden the funny strips.

97. How do they wake their partner up? Is it difficult to rouse them?

Aiden is a very light sleeper, so she just needs to call for him or touch him to wake him up. Ash is like....mid level, so Aiden will do annoying stuff to wake her up, like touching her foot with his (it's cold as balls), or tickling her nose with her blanket. 20% he'll start singing too.

98. Who would burn the world down for who?

It's easy to say Aiden, but I think they both would :>

99. Who gives off "they said no pickles" energy?

I guess this is an unpopular opinion but like i just don't think Ash would care enough to go to the register, even if they got his order wrong 😭 So imo Aiden-

100. Make a meme of this ship.

Another one...? Alr

If you made it here... *gives you a cookie* :)

[toadstoolgardens]

Low-Maintenance Gardening

There are so many reasons to choose a low-maintenance garden. Gardening should be a peaceful and fulfilling hobby, not something that adds stress or causes pain. A beautiful, bountiful, low-maintenance harvest is possible!

Annual Crops for the Low-Maintenance Garden

These set it and forget it crops have a long season, don't need a lot of babying, and usually get harvested all at once. Many of these can also be grown in raised beds, and some in containers (potatoes grow great in a 5 gallon bucket!!) if that's best for you.

Ideal Annual Crops: These can all go into cold storage for up to 8 months.

Garlic

Onions

Potatoes

Sweet Potatoes

Winter Squash

Beans

Pretty Good Annual Crops: These need some attention after harvesting for them to last as long as possible.

Broccoli

Brussels Sprouts

Cabbage ^^^Refrigerate these 3

Watermelon (Go into cold storage whole and last 2-3 weeks)

Tomatoes (You can grow determinate tomato varieties for a bumper crop that's harvested all at once. Sit tomatoes at room temperature 2-3 days and then process. Freeze, can, make sauce with them, etc.)

Herbs for the Low-Maintenance Garden

Herbs are the ultimate low-maintenance crop. So many options and they don't mind being ignored and can easily be grown in containers.

Ideal Herbs: These herbs are perennials and come back every year with just a little work on your part. All you need to do is prune them down to 5 inches once in the late spring and once around August to keep them growing indefinitely!

Chives

Oregano

Thyme

Rosemary (If you live in hardiness zones 7-10)

Pretty Good Herbs: These are annual herbs so you'll have to plant them each year. Both of these are also favorites of pollinators and beneficial insects!

Basil (put basil sprigs in a glass of water in the kitchen, change the water every few days, and after a while they should root for easy planting)

Cilantro

Fruits for the Low-Maintenance Garden

If you have the space and means to grow fruit trees or shrubs, they're an excellent low-maintenance choice. They bear a crop year after year with a little pruning (prune once or twice a year) and adding some compost or organic matter (once a year).

Ideal Fruits: These have a long storage life and require little processing after harvesting.

Apples

Citrus Fruits

Grapes

Pears

Pretty Good Fruits: These have much shorter storage life.

Berries (Grow a ton of fruit without much coaxing, but highly perishable so need to be eaten or frozen/processed after harvest)

Pawpaws (If you live in hardiness zones 5-9)

Plums

Some Tips for Low-Maintenance Gardening

Spend 15 minutes a day in the garden, whenever possible. This daily visit doesn't have to be spent working, especially if you're lacking energy, time, spoons, etc. It can be spent observing, enjoying, and just being in the garden, which is just as important as the doing!! Notice the changes as the days, weeks, and seasons change. Enjoy the plants, insects, birds, and other critters you've invited into your garden.

Mulch like a motherfucker. After planting, mulch that garden! A good mulching keeps weeds at bay, making less work for you.

Stagger harvest windows. Plan your planting times so you only have one or a few crops coming to harvest at the same time. This also allows for full appreciation and enjoyment of each crop, hopefully without burnout or overwhelm!

Put it on the calendar. Write down planting, harvesting, and pruning windows for each crop.

Most importantly, BE GENTLE WITH YOURSELF. Gardening, even a low-maintenance garden, is hard! You will lose plants. You will lose crops. You will make mistakes and have failures. You weren't able to get to the garden and all your sprouts died? That's totally okay and you can always start them again! You weren't able to harvest in time and the birds got all your berries? You're welcome, birds! Do your best, do what you're able, and you're doing amazing!!💖

Source

[frozenjokes]

do we think cannibalism is a good idea yet? please? please do cannibalism?

“Hey, you okay, Mumbo? Can I come up? I’m thinking I’m going to come up regardless of what you say, but I’d like it if you just said yes.”

It was Scar. Mumbo said nothing. Scar hit his head twice attempting to get in with a trident, but made it on the third go, sighing with a dramatic ‘whew!’ There was a small silence in the wake of Scar’s arrival, causing the same agony Mumbo was sure Cub experienced when Mumbo smashed his ribs.

“Guess he told you,” Mumbo muttered, resigned to this outcome. Cub would tell Scar, Scar would push for more answers, and eventually the whole damn server would know something was wrong, not that they could do anything about it. Mumbo would not leave. Not until his shadow had its way.

“Cub told me you were really upset, yeah. Said he didn’t know why,” Scar shrugged, “Told me he thought you needed a friend. So here I am.”

“Ah,” Mumbo couldn’t even manage the noise without his voice slipping in a soft crack. Scar stepped toward the bed where Mumbo was curled up, moving to take his hand, then letting it go when Mumbo flinched.

“Tell me what’s on your mind,” Scar said, so impossibly gentle, and while Mumbo most certainly would not, he didn’t want to say nothing; he didn’t think he could just say nothing, it was too much.

“I think I’m- I’m very ill. I’m having a- a crisis, I think. Mentally. I’m not well. I’m really not well.”

Scar hummed, low and thoughtful, “Want a hug? I could lay down with you, no need to sit up.”

“I don’t want to face you.”

“That’s not a problem.”

“I-Okay. I’m just. I’m just going to stay here. I’m just going to stay here.”

Mumbo felt the bed dip beside him, Scar muttering a soft, “Alright,” before sliding in and holding him in a gentle spoon. It was nice feeling Scar behind him, warm even through the blanket that separated them. Slowly, Mumbo let that heat consume him, felt his heart rate slow. And then out of nowhere it seemed, wretchedly, he started to sob. It was not unusual for Mumbo to cry, though most of his grief was saved for the end of worlds, the friends he’d never see again. So much of his focus was dedicated to staying in the moment, distracting himself, putting one foot in front of the other; stopping to sob was a waste of energy, a waste of resolve. It was giving up. And Mumbo was aware of what was coming, he knew it, but in each new world acceptance came later, the moment where the gravity of his soon-to-end life hit him harder each time, and today, it was hitting now. He could delude himself all he wanted that he’d hold on until the end of the season, but he knew he wouldn’t make it. He would hardly be able to stand more than a month of this. It was over. Maybe it’d be better to bite the bullet now. Stop drawing out his own suffering and deal with the hurt after it was done.

How selfish was that, with Scar at his back. With monstrous effort, he ground down the thought that this would be the ideal way to do it; turning around and tearing through Scar’s chest, disabling any means of fighting back, then taking his damned time. Mumbo cried harder when Scar followed his arm down to his hand, rubbing circles with his thumb into the back.

He would wait.

“Please tell Cub to leave me alone. I don’t know what he wants, I don’t care, I just don’t want to see him anymore. For the rest of the season, I don’t want to see him.”

“He wants you to eat him.”

Mumbo stiffened, a short, strangled sound crawling from his throat, but Scar shushed him gently, holding Mumbo’s hand tighter in turn.

“Just listen, lay here with me and listen before you freak out, alright?” Scar's voice was little more than a whisper, gentle force at Mumbo’s side serving to keep him still and as calm as he could stand to be.

“Why?” Mumbo croaked out, and felt Scar gesture vaguely with his head.

“He’s worried, mostly. He gets in his head about things, and he’s trying to solve them but he- well, he’s not the most tactful guy sometimes. I think he got scared when he saw you at the start of season ten; the last time he’d really seen you was after your break when you looked really bad.. He’s worried things are going to escalate to the point they did before, so he’s uh.. decided he’s gonna fix it. With cannibalism. When he’s talking about it to me it makes a lot of sense, but uh.. I mean, I guess it’s a little out there..”

“How do I make him stop. You have to- Scar, please make him stop.” Mumbo felt himself quivering in Scar’s hold, be it from fear or anger, he did not know.

“Oh, he won’t take it from me. I mean, he would if I was the guy he was trying to convince to eat other people, but he doesn’t always take secondhand advice like that. In this case, he’s way too zeroed in. You have to do it.”

“Well- fine. I’ll do it then, I’ll do it right now-“ Mumbo wriggled in Scar’s grip, but he held fast.

“Wait a minute- Not like that, no, not like that.” Scar almost laughed, but there was a little more stress there than anything.

“Not like what?” Mumbo huffed, annoyed. He pushed one last struggle, but gave in when Scar didn’t let go.

“You’ve got to be straight with Cub, you’ll put him off if you go about this too.. emotionally charged, let’s say. I’ll tell you exactly how to do it, I want to help you, Mumbo.”

Mumbo took a breath, then forced himself to relax, “Okay. Tell me. Please.”

Mumbo felt Scar straighten up behind him, then clear his throat, like he was about to address a crowd. “First, you gotta be as close to emotionless as you can make yourself. Fire up the coldest, deadest soul you can manage, and talk to him like you’ve just found out a close friend from like ten years ago got really sick, like really sick, terminal, and you don’t really know what to do, but the messenger of the news is looking awkward so you tell them it’s okay, it’s fine, but you don’t really feel fine, you know, your old friend is-“

“I understand, Scar,” Mumbo said, stuck between annoyance and a soft pang of amusement.

“Oh- alright,” Scar sounded a little embarrassed, but not offended, “Well I say that because Cub doesn’t- I know he doesn’t do this on purpose, and he’d probably be hurt if I said this to him so please don’t say anything, but he tends to take you less seriously when you approach him in an emotional kind of way. He really doesn’t mean to, he just gets a little confused I think, frustrated maybe. He doesn’t get it, is what I mean. He’s extremely bad at getting it. He’s sympathetic, but if you approach him and you’re emotional about it he’ll start thinking he knows better than you, in a ‘I’m just gonna take care of it for you,’ kinda way, which is completely infuriating, believe me, I know.”

“Are.. Are you guys okay?”

“Ah!” Scar jumped as if Mumbo had tazed him, “No no no! I’m just trying to explain it to you. I love Cub, he’s great, he’s the best. Literally. He’s just kind of an asshole sometimes. And he knows that, he doesn’t like being an asshole, so he listens when you tell him how it is.”

“Okay.. Then I’ll tell him I’m not going to eat him. And to stop bothering me.”

“No you won’t.”

Mumbo made a face, then gave in, “Okay. What will I tell him then.”

“You gotta tell him how he’s acting, right? You can’t tell him how what he’s doing makes you feel because he does not care, and he’ll probably tell you that, because when he’s made his mind up about something he seriously does not give a fuck unless you reach into his brain and shake it around a little. You gotta really take him by the temples and just shake.” Scar shook Mumbo a little for emphasis, Mumbo half fighting half chuckling as Scar dissolved into giggles.

“So I tell him that he’s being a prick and he should snap out of it before I get other people involved,” Mumbo sighed harshly, “Honestly, I shouldn’t even bother. I’ll just tell Grian. He’ll take care of it.”

“No, no,” Scar laughed, but it was a more nervous sound, like he knew just how serious Grian would take a matter like this, “That first bit is perfect. If you tell him that like you’re really serious- approach him first too, don’t wait for him to come to you- it’ll stop him right in his tracks. If that doesn’t work, call me. You don’t have to threaten him or anything, just make him see he’s not going about his business in the right way. I don’t do much more than tell him he’s being an asshole and he backs down. It’s magic.”

“Well- Okay. But I’m going to Grian if this doesn’t work.” Mumbo started to get up, but stopped when Scar squeezed his hand.

“Wait until tomorrow,” he said, quiet, “It’ll be better for you. Stay, rest today.” Even quieter still, he continued, “I’m sorry you’re going through something, Mumbo. If you ever want to get into the weeds I’m here, and you know Grian will be up and arms for you at the drop of a hat. It doesn’t.. It doesn’t matter what it is. To me especially, you have to know it doesn’t matter,” and with a small laugh, he said, “You could tell me you wanted to saw my head off with just your nails and I’d probably go yikes! I don’t think I’ll be very alive before you finish with the decapitation, but I'm free all day Wednesday, so we can give it a shot!”

“I’ll wait,” was all Mumbo could say. He hoped Scar would let it go now, but less than a minute later, he was speaking again.

“I just hope you know Cub’s got good intentions. He’s not trying to hurt you. I know it doesn’t always feel like that, especially when he can look you in the eyes and disregard your feelings because he’s more convinced he’s helping than he sees he’s upsetting you. I.. I’m also worried about you, if I’m being honest. It doesn’t take me finding you curled up in bed to know you haven’t been in the best shape lately. I don’t know the best way to go about this, Mumbo, and I don’t think- I don’t know if Cub.. I don’t always think he has the best way of going about things, but I understand where he’s coming from. I understand why. I know it’s difficult to extend him the kind of patience that you would for a closer friend, but please try. All of the hermits care about you, even the ones you don’t know well. We want to see you doing well.”

“I don’t want to talk anymore, Scar.”

Scar was quiet for a long moment. “Okay.”

…

Mumbo found Cub at the permit office where Scar told him Cub would probably be most consistently at least some part of the day. The idea of doing this in the permit office was most comforting for Mumbo, for the slim chance that Grian might also be there, might come up to Cub’s office and save him from the agony of this confrontation, though, the more logical part of Mumbo’s brain said that Grian was the wrong kind of person to convince Cub of anything. It was probably a good thing he never came in to work.

Mumbo had never been to the permit office before, but he couldn’t find an entrance, so grimacing, he poked a hole in the wall, replacing the blocks as he went. He climbed up the stairs with some issue (everything here seemed to be cluttered and difficult to find), then stopped before coming to the third floor, hesitating.

“Cub?” he called, feeling exceedingly stupid.

“Mumbo?” Cub nearly squawked, more than surprised, but this gave Mumbo some confidence, climbing the stairs to Cub’s office.

“Hello,” Mumbo said coolly, finding the even tone much easier to achieve now that he was face to face with Cub. Cub straightened his posture, and Mumbo, pleased to have gotten his attention, continued, “You’re being a prick.”

Cub blinked, then again a few times, but his expression stayed mostly the same. “Okay.”

“Yeah. Okay.”

“Yes.” Cub tapped his nails on his desk, looking thoughtful.

“I’d like to know what you’re going to do about it. Because if things continue the way they’re going, I’m going to have Grian get involved, and that would be a mighty pain in your ass.”

Cub nodded like this made perfect sense, “I think that’s fair. I do not want that. How about you sit down, Mumbo.”

“I’d rather not.”

“That’s fine. Regardless, I’d like to have a conversation about this so we can work out what we’re going to do next.”

“I already know what’s going to happen here, Cub. You’re going to leave me alone, cut complete contact, or I’m getting other hermits involved. That’s where this is going.”

“I would appreciate it if we could talk first, because as much as I’m sure you have plenty of words to say about me, I have a few things to say of my own, and I think it’s only reasonable that I speak my peace before you call in the dogs. You can hear exactly what I want from my own mouth and decide for yourself how you’d like to move forward when I’m done.” Cub closed his eyes, then opened them a moment later, “Because it doesn’t matter if you pit the entire server against me, I’m a damn stubborn cunt in the face of the kind of adversity you’re threatening, and the easy way out is here, at my desk. If you sit here and listen to everything I have to say and still want out, then I will leave you alone.” Cub eyed his own chair distastefully, getting up and maneuvering to sit with his legs crossed on his desk instead. He brushed away the few papers and knickknacks he kept, pushing them onto the now empty chair. “My desk chair is meant to sit higher than the one where a client would sit, but that’s all roleplay, let’s ditch the nonsense.”

Mumbo frowned. He considered calling Scar, but that wouldn’t help him here. He sighed. For the peace of mind of never having to deal with Cub again, this seemed a small price to pay. Mumbo climbed onto Cub’s desk, awkward with his long legs.

“Okay. Speak then.”

“I’ll only leave you alone if you listen to everything I have to say, got it?”

“Just get on with it, Cub.”

Cub rolled his shoulders, seeming quite content with taking his time. And then Cub’s eyes narrowed, throwing Mumbo a look so fiercely knowing that Mumbo felt it pierce straight through his bleeding heart.

“Let me start with what I don’t care about, because as far as shit like this goes, I prefer to lay it all out on the table. When it comes to the hobbies of this server’s inhabitants, slowly torturing, dismembering, and eventual eating alive of animals is pretty low of my list of Things That Make Me Feel Good but ultimately high on my list of Things I Don’t Really Give A Fuck About, and given everything I know about you, Mumbo, I don’t think you’re psychotic, I think you probably have a pretty good reason to do those things you do thousands of blocks out from spawn. And before you start squabbling at me, I found out in season eight, Scar knows because I told him, and I’m 99% sure Grian knows, but he never told me so and I haven’t directly asked him. I’m willing to bet he’s known since season six though, probably weeks within the first day he met you. If anyone else knows, I haven’t been told about it.”

Mumbo covered his gaping mouth with a quivering hand. He didn’t know what to do or what to say. Part of him wanted to lunge forward and silence Cub, but that wouldn’t stop him. It wouldn’t keep him from coming back. Cub did not look sympathetic. If anything, he looked angry.

“What do you need, Mumbo.” It wasn’t a question.

Mumbo didn’t answer.

“What do you need. What do you need? Why are you hiding it? What’s the damn point? If you need to eat, Mumbo, fucking eat, wasting away isn’t doing anything or anyone, especially not you.”

“It’s not about me.”

“Is it not?” Cub asked snidely, whatever neutral patience he’d been holding onto before evaporating, “What, you don’t want to hurt anyone? Are you a monster, Mumbo, because you have a little thirst for human blood? Join the fucking club! I can not for the life of me figure out what’s going on in your head- Do you think you’re better than the rest of us? Don’t want to stoop so low? What’s your damn problem! More than half of the server would lay themselves out on a platter for you on a whim of cannibalism related curiosity! Forget it if you need to eat people to survive; even the hermits you haven’t spoken to in months would cut themselves open for you! Have you opened your eyes in the past ten years? We’re all fucking deranged!”

“Shut the fuck up.” Mumbo felt the coolness come easy to him, encompassing him like black tar, “You’re making an ass out of yourself, jumping to conclusions like you can read minds.”

“You don’t give anyone much of a choice but to speculate.”

“Then I’ll lay it out for you,” Mumbo felt the rumble of a growl in his throat, expecting Cub to bite back, but he did not, silent, waiting. “Eating is not a matter of meat, not for me. Meat in the final step, but alone it is nothing, just a conduit. I need terror. I need hopelessness, despair, the kind that builds over years and years of terrorizing and watching your back and holding tightly to the things you love because you don’t know how much longer you can stand to stay, to hold them. Trying every avenue of escape, but it’s never enough. Drawing it out, leaving you alone just long enough that you think it might be safe, you think it might be over, but it’s never over. The only thing you can do is leave everything behind, find a new world, and hope to whatever higher power you believe in that I don’t follow. This isn’t as simple as asking for permission, Cub. When I finally decide it’s over, this world will end. You can not convince an animal otherwise. Animals only want to eat, grow, feel full. I will never be full. I don’t think I can be full. I can escape to sentience for a little while, spite that animal inside me, starve, but I have a feeling I’m only allowed to do so because it makes the upcoming meal that much sweeter. Betrayal, fear, hurt. To answer your questions, that’s what I need. You can tell the whole server, and it will not change the outcome. You can’t get rid of me. I won’t stop until Hermitcraft and all the history of its seasons, held in this one server, is completely abandoned.”

Cub was quiet for a long few moments after Mumbo was done, thinking, considering. “Right,” he said, almost like he didn’t believe him, the carelessness of that one word enough to make Mumbo want to bite his head right off. “That makes a lot more sense.” Then under his breath, trailing off, “..a little dramatic, but..”

“Does it.” Mumbo seethed, though part of him didn’t even know why. The callousness, the disregard- maybe he was angry that Cub wasn’t afraid because it made for a worse build up, a modicum less satisfying in the end. Maybe he was angry because Cub didn’t seem to care, and he should.

“What are you? Never heard of anything like that.” Again Cub continued casually, and despite Mumbo’s seething, his anger eased slightly at the question, reasonable enough.

“I don’t have a name. Over the years victims pass rumors of my existence around, but I’m hardly widespread enough to surpass the standard obscurity in worlds of temporary horrors. As far as I know I’m the only one of my kind,” Mumbo paused, shrugging, “Guess that’s not super likely though.”

“How old are you? You look like you’re in your twenties, maybe early thirties.”

“I don’t know. I tend to match the age of the people around me. It’s not a conscious effort.” Mumbo’s anger was starting to fade, replaced instead by a deep confusion, possibly a small amount of relief. He had very little idea what was happening here, what Cub was trying to get at, but he’d never been able to.. talk about this. Ever. Even his shadow didn’t seem to know how to feel, the both of them side eyeing each other from their places on Cub’s desk.

“Oh, I don’t mean now. I mean like- forever. In total, since you were born, or.. whatever created you.”

“I don’t remember when I started to exist. Atoms aren’t very concerned with the passage of time, nor are plants and animals. For the majority of my existence I did not count the years. Even now, I don’t count them like people do. I only want to know how long I can hold my sentience before it’s gone again.”

“Ah. So like. Really old. Really really old. Wow. I knew your body could change, I’ve seen it, but you can be different species altogether?”

Mumbo shifted uncomfortably at the idea of having been watched. He could not afford to feel shame for the animals he consumed, but he really didn’t like the idea that multiple hermits may have witnessed what he was doing and not said a word. He was always so careful- even then, if someone was following him, Mumbo was certain he would be able to sense their fear. Maybe he didn’t notice over the screams of jackrabbits. It was entirely too possible. Cub seemed unconcerned about Mumbo’s silence, continuing to ask questions almost like he was speaking to himself, like he didn’t need or want the answers because theorizing was entertaining enough.

“Can I see it? See you change?” Was the question that snapped Mumbo back to reality, the utter stupidity of the words rousing him back to life.

“If you’d like to see me lose my sentience in real time then paint the floor in your blood, sure Cub, whatever you want.”

Cub paused, almost consideringly, like he’d completely missed the sarcasm, “Maybe another time. What about something sentient? Can you do that? Like a vex- Like Scar and I! I mean, I honestly don’t know if the little guys are very sentient, so best not try-“

But Mumbo was already rolling his eyes, resigned to doing circus pony tricks, and the ethereal blue skin that painted Cub and Scar’s vex forms rippled across his own, dark hair curling into streaks of white, small wings fluttering at his back. Without entirely knowing what he was doing, he raised his newly clawed hands in a playful splay, hissing for emphasis, then let the whole change ripple away, returning to his human form. Cub looked spellbound, and the attention felt dangerous, appealing to Mumbo far more than he thought safe.

“That’s incredible! Oh, Scar would get a real kick out of that! You’ve got to show him!”

“I- It’s really nothing,” Mumbo rubbed the back of his neck, deeply unsure how to feel about this, but certainly mounting in alarm, “I’m not- I’m not showing Scar, I’m not doing that again-“

“Can you turn into other people? Can you look like me?”

“I- Probably? I mean I’m sure I can, I don’t really have limits, but this isn’t something I-“

“Try? Can you try? You don’t have limits? Okay we’ll go back to that later. Can you try?”

“We aren’t- we aren’t going back to anything!” Mumbo squeaked in his distress, but Cub was so genuinely interested, so genuinely impressed that Mumbo didn’t- he’d never experienced something like this before. So he gave in and tried, though, ‘tried’ implies there was any effort at all when in reality it was quite easy, basically second nature, until the change was complete and his mind seemed to double over on itself, the same but entirely different, thinking his thoughts but in completely different ways, stalling Mumbo where he sat, paralyzed by the horrors of a new inner working. Almost immediately he changed back, heaving shallow breaths as his mind caught up with the speed of his thoughts.

“Whoa- That was- Are you okay?” Cub stopped in his tracks, apparently failing to notice the internal explosion that occurred in Mumbo’s head.

“I am never doing that again.”

“What-“

“Your brain is awful,” Mumbo heaved, and Cub blinked, and Mumbo knew exactly what was happening, that Cub was processing, everything inside of him sluggish and those pauses, all those times he paused between sentences, it made sense now.

“You copied my body and mind?” Cub breathed, and Mumbo was still reeling so hard from the momentary terror of being in Cub’s head that he could not respond, “That’s- I mean maybe I should have guessed that might happen if you’re changing completely, but- I don’t know! I wonder why you reacted so badly if you were just me, because I wouldn’t have cared, I’ve lived here all my life. Maybe you keep part of your own head? The internal dialogue? Oh- Maybe you didn’t get my whole brain, you just got all the mental illness. In that case, I am very sorry. I bet you’d inherit physical problems too, the ones that don’t get fixed by respawns. Scar’s sickness, for example. Wow. That is really cool. I’ve never needed to cut someone open so badly in my entire life. Can I study you? I’m asking but I really don’t want to be asking. I know I said I wouldn’t pester you after this was over but I have way too many questions.” Mumbo was honestly shocked Cub could talk so fast in a brain like that, but then again, he hadn’t stuck around to find out the complexities. Maybe it only sounded fast because Mumbo’s own head was fried.

“Okay, so how do we kill you?”

Mumbo blinked up at that. “What?”

“If you go crazy, how do we kill you? Stop you, whatever.”

“Okay- one. This isn’t about ‘if’s’ so don’t get in your head about it. And you can’t stop me either, that’s not how this works. I don’t just die.”

“You can die perfectly well right now,” Cub pointed out, unconcerned.

“Well- sure. But it doesn’t matter if you kill me or not in any form, I don’t stay dead.”

“That’s fine,” Cub said, tapping his fingers impatiently on his legs, “Just tell me how. When you were hunting all those pigs you didn’t look like you got hurt or even bled.”

Mumbo huffed, impatient himself, “Well if you want to kill me, you’d better do it instantly. I don’t sustain any injuries if I don’t want to, the skin heals over as soon as whatever’s hit me is gone.”

“So if I wanted to keep you somewhere, I’d impale you. Get you in the head or heart, or maybe not some place lethal.”

“You can’t keep me anywhere, I’ll just change.”

“Ah, right. Then I’ll have to convince you not to somehow. How do you feel about peoples’ suffering if you’re not the one inflicting it? Can you tell the difference between a real scream and a fake one?” Cub talked casually like this was a simple matter of problem solving, far too animated, almost like it was fun.

“I- I don’t know, Cub, but I don’t think this is a very productive line of thought.”

“Why not? I mean, I’ll have years I’m sure to experiment on my own, but while you’re here and talking to me I think I should take advantage, don’t you?”

“You can’t stop me!” Mumbo nearly shouted in his distress, though Cub remained unperturbed.

“Is this Mumbo Jumbo the sentient human talking or Mumbo Jumbo the flesh eating terror, because if I may, you’re sounding suspiciously like the flesh eating terror.”

“You- You have no idea what you’re dealing with. This isn’t something you can stop or fight, Cub, I’ve lived hundreds of lives and worlds where everyone I’ve ever befriended has-“

“I’m gonna stop you right there,” Cub interrupted him, “I don’t care. However, maybe you’re right that prepping for the worst case scenario isn’t a great use of our time because who knows how much you’ve got left. Let’s see what we can do to extend it first, yeah? If we can do that indefinitely, then there’s no problem!”

“I’ve already tried everything, Cub-“

“Have you tried cannibalism?”

“No, but-“

“Then you have not tried everything. What’s your deal? Why are you so against it? I understand your methods are a tad more intense, but who cares. Y’know, I bet this would be more effective against someone who isn’t going to see it coming. Scar is a prime candidate, but Grian would be even better for your purposes.”

Mumbo blanched, reddening in turn as anger brought flush to his face, “I am not going to attack anyone without telling them! What is wrong with you?”

Cub raised an eyebrow, then shrugged, “If you want to maximize the time you have with sentience, you should take advantage of the beginning when no one understands why you’re doing what you’re doing. For the purpose of farming enough suffering to last you, it seemed reasonable, but yeah, probably a little extreme. Still, I think you’re going to have to ease up on the ethics here if we’re going to figure something out.”

“I’m not- No, Cub. I’m telling you no.”

“Why?” It was Cub’s turn to be frustrated, scowling as he rolled his eyes.

“Because I would feel bad!”

Cub nearly hissed, throwing up his arms, “For fuck’s sake! Are we not past that? I thought your whole issue is that you make friends then torture them to death a thousand times before moving on and doing it again. Why do you suddenly have problems now that you have a willing participant?”

“Because I’m sentient, Cub!”

“You’re cowardly is what you are. Get over it.”

“Right, sure, yeah, I’ll just do that.”

“Great!” Cub huffed, “I’m ready then! Go on, paint the floor red or whatever you said about my blood. Get it all over. Give me a reason to be afraid.”

“I can’t. I don’t- You don’t get it. I spend so much time in this body doing my best to make up for everything I’ve done. I’m glad that you don’t seem to have a guilty conscience, but it’s not so easy to know the full weight of the horrors you’ve committed and the pain you will bring again because you can’t stop. What’s the point of spending the rest of my time here inflicting the same kind of suffering I will when I lose my head. You think you can stop it, but you’re wrong. You are wrong. I am past delaying the inevitable. Let me have this. Let me starve. I will do all I can for the server in my last months. I won’t live here just as I would live as a dog. It’s not worth it. It’s not worth inflicting, knowing exactly the harm I’m bringing and wanting more all the same. And that’s in the case that everyone here is magically okay with being stalked and tortured to death until I crack regardless, no, I refuse to believe even you would want to live like that.”

Cub stared at Mumbo for a long moment, searching, though for what Mumbo didn’t know. “You’re guilty,” he mumbled, like this wasn’t obvious, “You think you deserve to starve.”

“Of course,” Mumbo replied, struggling between his own shame and the hot anger simmering below his skin.

“I don’t think so,” he said, like it was just that simple. Mumbo opened his mouth to argue, or maybe just scream, but Cub interrupted him, “Regardless of what you are now, Mumbo, you are not human. You can take the shape of a person, you can do and feel the things that people do, but you are not one, not really. You’re something else. This ‘something’ doesn’t have a name, but you have different needs. You are not a person. Why is it so evil for you to take what you need, Mumbo? I mean, sure, you can’t expect to take what you need from the friends you’ve made and keep those friends all the same, but you are not bad for taking. You are hungry. You are hunting, and you are eating. It’s callous of humanity to consider themselves above this dynamic of the food chain. We are not. Nor are you, most likely. There’s always a bigger fish.”

“It’s not the same. I am far crueler than any animal you can name, and I know better.”

“Do you think dolphins deserve to suffer for hunting fish?”

“Cub, I told you it’s-“

“Many things eat their prey alive,” Cub interrupted coolly, “You found a renewable source of food, one that feels emotions stronger than any other options, comes back to life, and fears you greater each time. You are not a person, Mumbo, you are a predator that hunts people. It doesn’t matter if you ‘know better.’ You need to eat. You need it. Talking ethics, if you want to ease your guilt, you should limit the time you spend interacting with people in the body you’ve made for yourself, but even then, you’re only preparing yourself a better meal. It is not evil. People can hate you for it, but that’s not any different from how a rabbit might hate a fox. It is not any different.”

Mumbo quieted, knowing little of what to say. It was different. It was different because Mumbo hated doing it, he hated having to do it, he hated fighting with himself, and he hated being This. He liked people. He liked being a person, he liked living among them, he liked it all so much more than he liked himself.

“But I don’t want to. I don’t want to need it. I want to stay here, stay human. I want to be human. I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Well,” Cub said, voice softer, sympathetic for the first time since Mumbo had joined him on his desk. “That’s a separate can of worms, isn’t it.”

Mumbo didn’t speak for a long time. He kept his eyes closed. He didn’t want to see Cub. Cub, who was looking at him, looking directly through him.

“I guess so.” The words were so quiet, they hardly passed Mumbo’s lips before they were nothing.

“Well, here’s what I think, Mumbo,” Cub started, the softness dissipating in favor of something calmer, more logical, “I think you have a lot to say about what will or won’t keep you sentient longer, but for someone so confident cannibalism won’t work, you certainly haven’t tried it. So you’re going to try it. See if this can be a temporary possible-solution until we can find a more permanent one. I need time to work this out, and I refuse to let you keep starving yourself out of shame.”

“You- What? You think you can-“

“I don’t think I can do anything,” Cub interrupted, voice hard, “But those woodland mansions have a hell of a lot of books, and I happen to enjoy looking through them. Scar and I are always looking for something to do. So.” Cub looked back at Mumbo from where he was staring out the window, “Are you willing to try? It’s a little cramped in here, so I think it would be better to go somewhere else, somewhere I could run from you, if you like that. Outside might be ideal as well, so we don’t have to clean up so much. We could probably-“

“I- Wait, Cub, please wait,” Mumbo needed to interrupt him, needed to stop him, but when Cub did stop, waiting for Mumbo to continue, he found his mouth dry.

“What.”

“I can’t. Not yet. I’m not ready.”

Cub looked just about ready to kill him, and honestly Mumbo didn’t blame him, but the mental block was still there, he was just so- he didn’t even know, and maybe that was the worst part. He was scared. His limbs were stiff and numb, and even with the shrill screams of desperate starvation in his ears, he couldn’t bring himself to move.

Cub took a long, deep breath, barely holding on to his composure, “Mumbo, if we don’t do something to stall for time-“

“Eat me. Eat me first. Do it all, everything I would do to you, draw it out, make it hurt. I need- I need to know how it feels. I need this.”

Cub paused, eyes narrowed in thought. “I don’t know if that’s a good idea, Mumbo. You don’t need more excuses to back down. I’ve had my fair share of being torn apart, you don’t have to worry about me.”

“I’ll do it. I promise I’ll do it, I’ll eat my whole damn fill if you want me to, Cub, but I need this first. I have to know.” Mumbo had no idea where this had come from; the feverish desperation, but now it was all he could think about, knowing, he had to know, he had to face what he’d done directly, and then he could swallow this pill and move on.

Cub considered him, eyes still narrowed.

“Alright. Fine.” he closed his eyes, inclining his head then opening them with a smile, “We’ll do it in the labyrinth.”

[weirdsht]

Imagine Cale being with someone that is strong enough to help him but the damn problem is that they tower over him. A 5 inches if you will, how would that work?

Cale with someone stronger and taller than him

so basically more than half his group rn?

okay let's assume you're already part of his group, he'll still be wary of you

have you seen how he views strong people? It's either vicious (Choi Han) or an idiot (Toonka, Indomitable Ruler, etc.)

so yeah you have to work hard to reverse his perception of you (I would say it's easy if you're smart but um we all know Bud Illis...)

anyways! how about when you're together?

sometimes you'll intimidate him

especially when you accidentally tower over him at the most random times

but it's alright, he knows you mean no harm

it's not your fault you're freakishly tall (in his opinion)

if you're physically strong too then prepare to become a human carriage

you'll have to carry Cale a lot of time, especially during battles

speaking of battles

he trusts you

he'll worry a bit ofc but overall he knows you're strong enough to handle whatever mission he assigns you to

sometimes enemies will be like "well that's Cale's s/o surely it'll be his weakness" and try to go after you

Cale just laughs at them because he knows you can take of it even before he even hears of the situation

overall he feels his mind is more at ease when he's with you during battles

now back to something more domestic and that height of yours

whenever you're sleeping on the same bed you'll be the big spoon, he won't take no for an answer

sometimes when his super tired from doing whatever and you're sitting on a comfy chair he'll just slither where you are and lie down on you

curl up even, like a cat on your lap

when he first did this the children (except On) became concerned

but now they're use to it

power couple in public

especially during formal gatherings where Cale has his Dominating Aura on

your intimidating tall build and his presence? no one will dare to even approach

i low-key think it'll be funny if you turn out to have golden retriever energy

but that's up to you

oh Cale will use your height to scare off people he doesn't want to interact with

"yeah when we get there just stand behind me and make eye contact for 5 seconds"

Cale loves it!

he may or may have not tried using it on Alberu one time

to which the crown prince just laughs while handing you a cookie before assigning another job to Cale

all in all aside from the occasional heart attacks, Cale loves your height and you being strong

please just stop sneaking up behind him, he feels his lifespan shaving off every time you do

[chronicallycouchbound]

A Guide for Coming into Disability

Note: While this is meant to serve as a guide for people who are becoming physically disabled and people newly recognizing their existing experiences of disability (including chronic illness), I feel that this guide is helpful for anyone, disabled or abled. No guide is one size fits all, but I hope this can help supplement other resources that exist.

Recognizing Disability

The first aspect of coming into disability is conceptualizing what disability means for you. Some initial questions to consider are:

What is disability?

What does it mean to be disabled?

How do you identify disability in yourself or others?

Only you can define what these mean for yourself, but many definitions and models of disability exist.

Loss & Grief

As you begin to transition into a disabled body, the first sign of that change is often the experience of loss. Loss of ability, access to the world, hobbies, community, loved ones, and your sense of self are just some of the types of loss you might be experiencing. Additionally, when being a part of any marginalized community, you are now not only beginning to experience the trauma of discrimination that you’re personally facing but you are also exposed to a communal trauma of systemic marginalization.

Due to the ableist society we live in, every single person is internalizing ableism. Everything we see on the news, in movies, in classrooms, etc. is absorbed subconsciously to create a personalized narrative of the disabled experience. Weather or not that ableism is externalized doesn’t matter, because if you’re not actively dismantling internalized ableism and practing anti-ableism, then that ableism will hit you much harder when you transition into disability. The work to navigate this is constant, evolving and will change with time.

All of this is very heavy. Always unpacking, always processing, always grieving. But it does get easier to navigate, especially with the proper supports. To cope with this, I highly recommend seeking out appropriate support groups (many are online, Facebook, Discord, The Mighty are some great places to look) and considering grief counseling. Through this, remember to be gentle with yourself, cut off people if you need to, set boundaries, and do what you need to to support yourself and keep yourself safe.

Spoon Theory in Practice

A large portion of my disabled experience is simply just learning. Learning about my body, treatments, my limitations, and what I can still do. This dynamic learning often requires more language to explain complex concepts. This brings us to the spoon theory. If you don’t yet know about spoon theory, here’s the original essay by Christine Miserandino.

Spoon theory works to help explain the energy limitations of chronic illness and has been widely adopted by the greater disabled community. Essentially, it is a metaphor that uses spoons as a metric to showcase energy levels in a tangible form. Over time your spoons will change, different activities might require more or less spoons, and recharging your spoons may also evolve. This is why it’s important to use the concept of spoon theory to help you set boundaries with yourself and others.

For yourself, being able to identify your spoon levels and use them appropriately to ration energy can help you avoid falling into pitfalls like the “Boom-Bust Cycle” and better pace yourself. I put this into practice by creating lists rating activities by spoon levels. I have a master list of meals I can eat, categorized by how many spoons it usually takes to make the meal. This way, I can plan out in advance on low spoon days, like when I have PT, and know I won’t have the energy to cook a meal that takes three spoons to make, I can meal plan for the week and buy what I need for a one spoon meal that day. This can also be applied to things like chores and hobbies. I sort my to-do list by priority, and then by how many spoons it will take to do the activity. Knowing your spoon levels can assist in setting boundaries with others as well. I always have a standing appointment on Tuesdays, so I never make plans that day. I always ask for help with certain chores because even if I physically can get them done, I won’t have spoons for the rest of the day or even the week.

Accepting Disability

In order to cope with the loss of certain activities, finding accessible alternatives can go a long way. You might be able to find an adaptive way to still participate in a hobby, like adaptive basketball. There are also so many options for hobbies in the world, and you might be surprised by what works for you now! This is a good time to start to focus on what you can do, with adaptations, vs what you used to be able to/now can’t do.

Mobility aids are a beautiful tool. My advice is if you think that an aid might help you, you should at least try it! If it ends up not helping, or you don’t need it, you can always donate it. I also like to say (and my physical therapist likes to remind me) Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.

And, of course, ask for help before your body demands it.

Disabled Liberation & Disabled Joy

If you have the spoons and time, you should prioritize learning about our history as a community (Crip Camp on Netflix is a great place to start) Additionally, you can learn about disability theory, models of disability, ugly laws, cripple punk movement, and our rights.

Disabled Joy is a concept that considers our joy to be a revolutionary act in and of itself. I use ‘joy’ here, rather than happiness, because while similar, happiness is based in the root word ‘hap’ meaning chance (as in mishap and happenstance), meaning that the experience itself is based in luck and external factors, and focus instead on the sensation associated with it– regardless of your situation, which is joy. Disabled joy looks like my partner sprinting while pushing me down the sidewalk with the wind in my face. It looks like a perfect day in Sims 4. It comes with safe foods and the healing power of accessible plauygrounds. You find it where it comes, and I hope you can find it in yourself.

Finding Community

The best part of the disabled experience, for me, is our thriving community. When it comes to community building, I always suggest online options first because they’re available 24/7 for most people, and you can reach community from your home. I’ve already mentioned online support groups, but also, online content creators are a great way to find community. If your social media following list is primarily able-bodied creators, especially ones who focus on activities that aren’t accessible to you, it can be really damaging to your mental health. This can help you to find friends who get what you're going through.

Self-advocacy and systemic advocacy resources from our peers and organizations can give you the tools and feel empowered to create change. Seeking resources by and for our community can be lifesaving. You’re reading one right now.

Welcome to the community.

♿️❤️ (wheelchair emoji, heart emoji)

[chanswifey]

Seventeen as your boyfriend | Mingyu

The golden retriever boyfriend

Don't let the muscles mislead you, this man is the biggest baby girl to ever baby girl

Little spoon energy

Follows you around like a puppy everywhere

Big husband material, does all your chores for you just because

And if he knows there's one that you especially despise he will refuse to let you do it

Always tries to cook for you when he's home, and won't let you help because it's his job to make sure you are eating well

Never let you pay when you two are out

Not sure why but he gives off a bit of homebody vibes, he sure does like to go out but if all you want is to stay inside and cuddle you will not catch him complaining

He's a sucker for praises

Please tell him he's pretty, he loves it

Turns bright red when you do it and forgets how to speak *cuts to him shyly tucking his hair behind his ear*

Another member who gets very protective in public, and let's be honest it's not hard for him to look threatening

The members tease him about it (obviously) because the moment you guys get to a private setting he turns into this big teddy bear but you think it's really cute

Big fan of PDA and pet names, he never uses your name like ever

Uses every single one of them and sometimes comes up with new ones when he's trying to annoy you

Randomly walks up to you, cups your face with both hands and places kisses all over it

Back hugs you at any given time

Cooking? Great time for a back hug

Showering? He was planning on washing his hair anyway

Will 100% wash your hair for you if you ask, like it's part of his job what do you mean?

Wakes you up by laying on top of you and refusing to leave

"Gyu I can't breathe," you say struggling to finish the sentence

"If I leave you're gonna get up", he answers, still sleepy

"If you don't leave I die!"

Bickering is his love language, even if it's over the stupidest subject, but it's always a good laugh in the end

Treats you to a fancy dinner every chance he gets because he cannot pass the opportunity to put on a suit and tease the shit out of you

He also loves it when you dress up for him, and if you wear something he gifted you it's even better

His clumsy ass can't go one day without dropping something so it's always funny to go out and try not to laugh at him

You two sometimes ditch the fancy restaurant and end up eating ice cream at the park late at night looking like you just came out of a YSL runway

And those are low-key the best dates you guys have

Gushes about you to the members so much they have to tell him to shut up sometimes

Texting 24/7

Always sending you random pics of him while he's away

He is your very own personal trainer

It's his favorite thing in the world that the two of you can work out together

He also thinks you look really hot lifting weights

Couple pictures at the gym mirror

Takes care of your diet and gives you advice on workouts

He's literally the embodiment of acts of service

×××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××

2023 © chanswifey — do not repost or translate

mlist | request here | what I write