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loliwrites · 3 years

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I was reading an interview about how Alex has always questioned if girls were interested in him because of his celebrity, or because they thought he was funny or charming in his own right. It made me think that he probably has hidden insecurities, and I wonder how Addi would react when she found out?

skarsgard-daydreams said: This is from the interview:

The Golden Globe winner also spoke candidly about growing up in the spotlight. He began acting at the age of 13, and is actor Stellan Skarsgård's eldest son. "To have people talk about you and say, 'Well this is who Alex is…" when I had no idea myself, it just f--ked with my self-confidence," Alexander explained.

"Because if a girl looked at me or seemed interested," he added, "I thought she was only interested because she had seen me in the movie. It made me feel worthless. I wanted girls in school to like me because I was funny or cute or interesting—that's what you want isn't it? When you're 13? And I guess when you're 40 as well…"

I’ve read/heard him talk about this sort of thing too... Which makes me believe it’s not a hidden insecurity at all. It’s very present, at the forefront of who he is and how he sees and interprets relationships (platonic and otherwise). I think this is absolutely one of the crosses he has to bear -- and one he gets caught up on more than he’d like.

To a degree, I think Addi already has this idea or inkling that this might be something he battles with. She’s seen and been around enough actors to know that they’re actually really fragile and delicate people. They spend their entire careers being someone else. How could that not fuck you up? But I also think she believes she's eliminated from that way of thinking for him because they honest-to-goodness started off as just friends and work colleagues. So in her eyes her "dues have been paid" in a sense with him. She thinks they've already gotten past the hardships that come with that insecurity. Maybe even in a sound, rational mind, Alex thinks they've gotten past that too.

But insecurities are funny little beasts, aren't they? They sneak up on you just when you think you've kicked them to the curb. You're feeling great, in a great state of mind, and then BAM! the insecurity bitch comes at you throwing elbows and you're knocked down a few pegs... Hell maybe you get kicked all the way back to the ground.

And this is exactly the sort of thing that could/would happen pretty early on in the official relationship... like, in the still hiding it from the public phase. This doubt and second guessing. Shit, this is the sort of thing that probably happens the morning after an amazing night together. The lust, and passion, and pure desire for each other had them feeling positively love-drunk through rounds one, two, and three. It was the sort of night where they both knew that the other was pouring every bit of themselves into the act; of wanting -- nay, needing -- to give everything they had. Addi was soft and small and in turn, Alex was the gentle provider. The sort of night that by the end of it, they had solidified exactly how they felt for each other.

But Alex woke up in a cold sweat that night and had to peel Addi off of him. And the anxiety he knew and thought he had long abandoned, crept back and nestled inside him. When he looked at her in the dead of night, watching the way her chest rose and fell in a perfect, unconcerned rhythm, all the anxiety let him see were all the flaws of their relationship and himself.

Our girl Addi is one smart cookie. But even if she weren't, it wouldn't've taken a rocket scientist to know something was wrong when she came up behind Alex in the kitchen and pressed a delicate kiss to the center of his bare back, only to have him shrink away from her. She eyed him as she poured herself a cup of coffee, but he avoided eye contact, and instead, flipped open a newspaper she didn't even know she had.

"Are you okay?" She asked and cringed at the first bitter sting of black coffee going down her throat.

Alex flipped the newspaper over and started scanning over the business section. "Yeah, fine,"

She frowned and took another sip of coffee, "you don't seem fine."

"How do I seem?"

"Surely not like someone who went multiple rounds of passionate sex with their girlfriend only..." she leaned over to get a glance of the microwave clock, "eight hours ago."

His face seemed to blush at the admission and just when she thought she could lean in and give him a kiss, he dodged her again in the most un-obvious of ways.

"What's the problem, Skarsgård?"

"Nothing's the problem," he defended and reached for his coffee cup.

But Addi wanted to have this chat even if he didn't. She slid his coffee cup away from him, out of reach. "It's Saturday morning. I've got all day to play this game. And I don't lose, so save us the trouble and time and spill it."

He stared at her for a second, reluctant to say anything. But she was there, sitting without movement like she was a renaissance statue carved from marble. And he knew that he wasn't bound to get out of the kitchen without having a conversation about what was milling about in his brain.

"Why do you like me?"

Addi rolled her eyes, "oh, we're going here this early in the morning?" Then seeing that he'd traded in his anxiety-ridden expression for something more stoic, she quieted down and grew more serious.

He tilted his head to the side, absently, "we don't make a ton of sense, so what was it? Was it power? Was it fanaticism or fantasy? Was it who I had worked with and that you'd be closer in proximity to them?"

"Strangely enough," she folded her arms over her chest, somewhat annoyed that he was putting this on her; projecting a fear or an agenda. "Aside from you being hands-down the most attractive man I've ever seen, I like you because you're kind. I like you because you treat everyone with gentleness and respect. I like you because you're charming and hilarious. I like you because you treat me better than I've ever been treated by anyone. But mostly, I like you because you're terrible at Jeopardy and I always win," she tried to hide a grin but ultimately felt that fail.

He reached for his coffee cup and this time, Addi let him have it. She stared at him as he took a sip, not saying anything in return. In fact, it seemed as though his brain was reeling more now than ever.

"We were friends first, Alex, don't forget that. You were special to me long before you started fucking me,"

He half-laughed into his coffee and flicked his eyes to her. Setting down his cup, he dragged a fingertip over the ceramic. He took a breath to give himself time to figure out what he wanted to say next. "I know, I just... panicked, I guess. I have -- or had, a tendency to pick people who didn't make me feel great about myself."

She leaned in a little closer, feeling like Alex wouldn't shy away from her as he had done before, and placed her hand on his thigh. As she inched it up towards his crotch, she caught that he focused on it, and she whispered, "I don't make you feel good?"

He swallowed, cheeks flushed, and looked back up into her eyes, "you do, kid. But feeling this good in a relationship made me get into my head."

Addi nodded and pressed her palm gently against his crotch. She leaned in a little closer, gaze switching focus between his eyes and lips. "We don't make sense?"

"Not really," he cupped his hands on either side of her neck, "but for once I don't want to logical about it."

She grinned and made the last little effort to kiss him. The relief that washed over her when he reciprocated the kiss was insurmountable. She breathed in deeply through her nose, curling her fingers over the outline of his member, and let out a semi-audible gasp when he pulled away and his hold on her neck got just a tad rougher.

"And I'm not terrible at Jeopardy,"

"Oh," she winked and giggled softly, "okay."

#alexander skarsgard drabble #alexander skarsgard imagine #alex skarsgard #asked #skarsgard daydreams #good boy al #angsty al #more alex and addi #insecurities

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adelheidvonschicksal · 4 years

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Cuddles and Confessions | Todoroki x Busty!Reader

Request: The reader has a nature quirk and was training with Recovery Girl. Shoto fell in love with the reader when she was helping him with his injuries, he doesn't know that reader also likes him too. The girls in 1-A caught how the two would always share a loving gaze at each other and decided to make both of them confess.That's all I could describe and you can add anything you like, also you can add a smut in the story if you can.

The reader is quite shy about her chest area because it's too big( like Momo's), but Shoto loves to rest his head on it like a pillow.

Warnings: Smut and fluff, Mineta being Mineta

Part 2

Todoroki scowls behind the hand he holds to his face. The half hot and cold user doesn’t understand why Aizawa would send him to the nurse over a simple nosebleed rather than let him continue training. Less he understands why Mineta, a boy he’s almost positive doesn’t like him besides as competition, would trip over himself to unnecessarily escort him to said office.

All becomes clear when the shorter boy impatiently swings open the door and sings out for the young girl pouring over books at Recovery Girl’s desk. “(Name)-chan!”

You along with Recovery Girl lift your heads at the greeting. Though, the one Mineta calls (Name) gasps out at the rush of blood that finally overtook the tissue he had gotten. You stand up, ignoring and for lack of better words running over Mineta as you hurry to see the injury.

Now, Todoroki completely gets it.

Reasonably pretty with dramatic curves highlighting your bust puts you right up that shameless pervert’s alley.

“What happened to you!” you speak out, and Todoroki steps back to get away from your sudden intrusion on his personal space while you finally notice the other human you knocked over after his weak complaint of how cruel it is for you to ignore him. “Oh, hello, Mineta, what are you doing here,” you say bluntly before drawing your eyes back to the boy with an actual wound.

“I’m hurt! You should give me a kiss!” Mineta begs, pointing to his now bruised head where you knocked him over, and you cringe slightly before your sensei pulls him up into her own arms.

“I’ll take care of this one,” she instructs and grabs onto the little pervert for you, “you can handle the Todoroki boy.”

You nod as Mineta squirms in a too tight hold before pulling Todoroki by the non-bloodied hand towards the bed. You let him settle down on it while you pull on a glove. “Can you put your hand down for me?” you request. When he does, the blood floods freely down his face. “Wow, whoever hit you really knocked ya good, like bam!” you tease, pumping your fist towards him, and he frowns slightly.

“I didn’t get hit. It’s just dry.”

“Sure, I believe you!” you answer to spare his ego while he squints slightly since you obviously did not believe him.

”I don’t need to be here. It’s just a nosebleed, it’ll stop on its own in a few minutes,” he says, getting up and preparing to leave right there before you interrupt.

He’s obviously one of those tough guys. If you had a dime for every one of them you met at this school, you’d be a rich bitch. “There’s no reason to walk around with a bloody face when I can just fix you up right here. More importantly, I’m not going to let you. So please sit!” you say, hold onto his shoulders, and push him back down onto the mattress. He supposed he can’t get out of this one and to just get it over with.

”Now, can you tilt your head?” you question, pausing him when he tries to tilt his head back. “Not back, it just makes the blood go down your throat when you do that.”

He nods and holds his head down for you as you lean over to get a better look. He gets a clear shot to look down your shirt from this position, the top button undone and offering a view full breasts bound by a bright colored bra. Lingering there, he has the passing thought about just how round and fluffy they look. He holds away his blush easily enough and shifts his gaze up to your face without a word.

“I don’t think it’s broken,” you finally conclude after a few careful pokes and prods.

“Because it’s not an impact injury,” he reminds you. You finally accept his story and give a slim smile.

“Sorry, but I kind of have to kiss you now okay?” You say, and this time he can’t stop the slight red that does come to his cheeks.

“Excuse me?” Todoroki interrupts slightly miffed at and doubtful of the suggestion.

Sensing the agitated aura, you clear your throat and explain, “It’s uhm...it’s just part of the job,” you say, not really being fond of this yourself in some cases like the purple boy. You quickly cup his cheeks to force him to look at you, only to hesitate when he stares at you.

His eyes are so pretty.

You smile and press your lips to his forehead.

Cue inner panic as he tries to process how close you are and the calming sensation of your quirk that plays opposite the frantic beating in his chest. He clenches at the sheets under him, palms sweating as you pull away and wipe away the remaining blood with a firm but careful touch.

"Done," you say. "How does it feel?"

“It healed,” he remarks, amazed that your kiss actually did as you said.

“See that wasn’t so bad! Definitely better than waiting it out,” you reply and jokingly add, ”mainly because I like to think I'm a half decent kisser."

He flushes. You weren't entirely wrong. Your lips were so soft and smooth, no roughness to them at all. Not that he'd say it. Before he can respond to your joke, Recovery Girl cuts you off. Thank All Might for that. “Aren’t you forgetting something?”

“Uh...oh! Right, right!” you frantically say as you look around the random drawers and desks. You finally pick out what you were searching for, a bright colored lollipop. “Would you like some can—where the heck did he go?” you question to the surprisingly empty space on the bed.

“You took too long as always, if you have time to flirt—”

“I wasn’t!”

“—you have time to remember where things are,” Recovery girl sighs and releases her patient as well before glancing over to you with a scowl, “For the love of—fix your clothes girl before you have an accident.”

“Ah! Why didn’t you tell me sooner!” you whine and adjust your buttons. You lament why she felt the need to torture you in front of the cute ones while Todoroki was dealing with his own problems back in class.

He couldn’t stop his heart from racing, cursing inside his own head for the new distraction to his training. Lust isn’t usually a problem for him since it's rarely on his radar to think about the fairer or less fairer sex for that matter, but he can’t stop re-imagining your chest in his mind, the kiss against his skin, and how’d both would feel together against him.

“Todoroki-san, are you alright? Your nose is bleeding again,” a classmate randomly points out to him, one that he can’t quite remember their name, but he nods all the same while quickly wiping away the new stain.

“I’m fine.”

“This is going to be annoying,” he thinks as he looks at the new smear of red on his hands. It’s then that he decides to do his best to avoid ever going to first aid again.

Life had other plans.

The last match of the sports festival is like a blur. The only thing he remembers is a hard impact before it all got hazy. The next is your vaguely familiar voice, calling to him; this incredible comfort from you cradling him, carefully running your hands on the back of his head; and Bakugo lying flat on the ground under Midnight before the world went black again.

When he opens his eyes, it’s to blaring lights that only dull in comparison to you leaning over him.

“He’s awake! Hey, Granny, he woke up!” You sound so incredibly happy about that and your eyes are a little red like you’ve been crying. The idea was a bit ridiculous since you didn’t really know each other.

“I told you he’d be fine, didn’t I?” your teacher responds, and you pout.

“But his head looked so bad! I couldn’t help it!” you complain, eyes watering a bit more.

“Stop blubbering. First Midoriya, Uraraka, and now this. People count on you to keep your calm as a healer. If you’re panicking, they’ll panic.”

Y-Yes, ma’am,” you sigh then furrow your brows as you drop your head. Todoroki stares, finding the drop from your happy expression oddly disheartening considering what he's been through.

Sighing, she smiles sweetly at you. "I'm sorry, dear. It's not your fault, I honestly didn't expect this when I put you in charge of the first years. Usually they're pretty tame, but this class is a lot stronger than usual. You've been doing a good job to keep up at this level. I know I can be a little mean, but it's because I just want you to improve so pick your chin up."

You smile softly. "Yes, ma'am. Thank you," you say before you notice her holding onto some restraining cloth. “Don’t tell me you’re going with that where I think you’re going? That’s just mean...”

Recovery girl nods in agreement before smiling bitterly. “It can’t be helped.”

You shake your head as she leaves the room. “(Name)," you perk your head up, "mind telling me what happened—I can’t really remember all too well. I know both Bakugo and I were out of bounds.”

You frown slightly. “Well, Bakugo’s attack knocked you out or well your ice did too when you tried to stop the blow back, I guess...and he didn't really want to accept that so Midnight had to knock him out.”

“So, I lost.”

“Afraid so, but you got second!” you say a little cheerfully, and he sighs as he tries to force down the remaining thoughts about his family for now before moving to leave. “Wait, you shouldn’t move now!”

“Isn’t there a reward ceremony I should go to?” he asks even if it’s one of the last things he wants to do right now.

“Well, yes, but—“

“GET THAT DAMN MUZZLE AWAY FROM ME! I'M NOT A FUCKING DOG!"

Todoroki scowls. "Is that-"

“Yeah...they thought it would be best to separate the two of you,” you laugh and nervously rub the back of your head, “Anyway, I’m sure you’re tired since you had to fight so much so take some time to rest. If anyone asks, I’ll just lie and tell them that you’re still a little woozy," you say, holding your index finger to your lips in a "hush, hush" manner.

Todoroki nods, allowing himself to accept the kindness you freely offer. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome!” you chirp.

Todoroki curls back onto the bed as you go to check on a second-year also sent into first-aid for a minor injury. He sets his head back against the pillow, trying to collect his thoughts that last match. In all the jumbled mess, there’s still a slim memory breaking through of you when you held him, and he remembers how safe it had felt in the moment, like the fighting was finally over when you held him. Finally, he could recall what you were saying to him in that moment: it was going to be okay. He sighs and spares another glance your way, and when you catch it, you smile.

That look, sunny and encouraging and brimming with this expression of dismissed concern and absolute relief over him, is one of the very few good things about today. He thinks that maybe he wouldn't mind seeing it again sometimes, if that was an okay excuse to visit outside of injuries.

Todoroki frowns, clutching his hand over his chest as he hurriedly looks back up at the ceiling.

For some reason, his heart is racing again.

Just great.

---

“I can’t stand forest lodges,” Kaminari yawns and stretches his arms behind his head as the class waits to board the bus. “Goodbye, school; goodbye, wifi; goodbye, society.”

“I don’t see why you’re complaining, Kaminari,” Sero interrupts with a pat to his shoulder and points his attention towards Todoroki. “We all know Todoroki is going to miss school more than anybody.”

The topic of conversation looks up, escaping his thoughts and blinking in confusion at the two boys talking about him.

“He’s just so accident prone, I don’t see how he’ll survive in the woods.”

“Oh, you’re right.” Kaminari says loudly, glancing at Todoroki to make sure he’s a part of the conversation now. "I remember a time when Midoriya used to go to first-aid all the time, and now it's Todoroki. I guess it must be contagious."

“Can you blame him when every sneeze is an excuse for him to see his girlfriend,” Sero snickers.

“It isn’t like that...she’s a friend,” he corrects.

Sero winces. “Ouch, I hope you let her know that ‘cause I don’t think she’s on the same page as you, buddy.”

Playfully, Kaminari shakes his head. “Don’t worry, man, I’m sure she’ll find some other guy to keep her company now that Todoroki isn’t there to scare them off.”

Todoroki grimaces, his mouth suddenly filling with a bad taste. He’s sure you wouldn’t but—

“Enough already, stop teasing him and get on the bus,” Momo scolds as she boards the bus by a quickly following Ochaco.

Purposely bumping into his arm, Ochaco agrees with the boys. “It’s okay to admit that you’re in love with her!”

“I’m not in love with (Name),” he states bluntly.

“Is that so?” she asks skeptically, and Todoroki pauses as her eyes twinkle. He knows that look--she's thinking something to get him, he just knows it. “Fine, then, describe her to me.”

Todoroki furrows his brow. “What do you mean? You know her well enough.”

“But, how would you describe her if you were talking to a stranger, someone who didn’t know her?”

He rolls his eyes. “What’s the point of this?”

“Just do it!"

Sighing, he thinks about the words that first come to mind when he sees you. “She’s loud…talkative,” he begins, stating the obvious. “Very kind and helpful,” he says before moving on to your physical aspects. Several words come to mind, pretty being one along with your shape, your height and hair color being the others, but he settles on the fact that you’re always joking around, and his eyes soften as he smiles faintly at the thought, “and she has a really big smile.”

“Yep, you’re in love,” Ochaco states with a giggle, and Todoroki scowls. The freaking she-devil. “She likes you, too.”

“What gives you that idea?” Todoroki monotonously questions, walking onto the bus and taking a seat across the aisle from her.

“Well, besides that little smile you had there. You’re always extra sweet to her, and you talk way more with her, not to mention you always get that puppy-eyed look when she’s around. It’s pretty cute actually!”

“Not about me, Uraraka,” he interrupts, about to completely ignore her if she continued with his more obvious hints.

“I was getting to that,” she chides, “(Name)-chan is always fussing over you or trying to sit next to you at lunch! She even made you a bento for heaven’s sake!”

“Isn’t that what friends do?”

“I mean, well, yes, but girls just have a sense for these kinds of things!” Ochaco dismisses.

“And you’re sure?” Todoroki questions, neither denying or accepting Ochaco’s correct insinuation that he liked you.

“Double sure!”

“I think you should, I just got this feeling she’d accept, you know!” Kirishima suddenly adds in, leaning over Todoroki’s seat from behind.

Todoroki sighs. He supposes everyone is in on his love life now. If he had one, of course. He does.

“Speak of the Devil! Guess it’s Todoroki’s lucky day after all,” Kirishima remarks, taking a glimpse out the window to see you waving and speedily jogging up to the bus.

“HEY, AIZAWA-SENSEI, SEKIJIRO-SENSEI, THE OLD LADY AND I ARE HERE! SORRY, WE’RE LATE!”

“Who are you calling old!?” Todoroki glances out the window just in time to see Shuzenji popping you on the knee with her cane, and you stumble to grab your wounded bone.

“Ow...why!?” you gasp as Recovery Girl boards with class 1-B, and you ungracefully hop to Class 1-A’s bus.

“Holy…” Mineta mumbles, his own personal bouncing and swishing sound effects going off in his head. He wipes up his drool before pushing Kaminari towards the aisle. “Get up!”

“He-Hey! What are you doing!?”

“Just move it, I’m not missing this opportunity!” The purple boy states as you shuffle further down the bus lane. He already got rejected by one pretty black haired girl, now he wasn't going to lose his second chance for a two-piece, aka breasts and thighs. He finally pushes the blond out the seat from him, and Kaminari grumbles and sits next to Kirishima. “Hey, (Name), why don’t you sit over here, it’s warm for you,” Mineta sleazily offers, patting on the seat next to him, and he thinks he’s home free as you look over to his side of a bus and a smile spreads on your face. “Score! Come to me (Name)!”

You don’t pay any mind to the grape, rushing two more rows down from him. “Shouto!”

“Good morning, (Name)," Todoroki replies calmly.

You fidgeted your fingers a little, nodding to the empty aisle seat. ”Do you mind if I sit next to you?”

“Go ahead, it’s free.”

“Of course girls like Momo and (Name) would like pretty boys like Todoroki. Life is so unfair…” Mineta weeps in a new depression, his world crumbling.

“Can we sit next to you, too, Shouto~?” Kaminari whispers behind him, and Shouto huffs while you’re too busy setting down your things to notice the teasing.

“Thanks, I'm so glad I got to come with you guys, this trip is going to be so much fun!” you smile, and he forces his gaze ahead as to not blush.

“I think so, too, (Name)! Right, Todoroki?” Kirishima tries to help, but it only serves to make everyone else knowingly laugh a little.

Todoroki decides it would be best for his soul to leave his body or he’ll never make it through this trip alive.

A couple minutes go by on the bus trip, with Aizawa promising a stop each hour, not that anyone cared since everyone is too busy goofing off. It’s amazing that anyone could manage to fall asleep, yet Todoroki always manages to surprise you as he closes his eyes and leans his head back to sleep.

You spare a glance at him every now and then between talking to Ochaco beside you and Mina and Toru in front of you. Then, a bump in the road stops your discussion as Todoroki grumbles in his sleep. He slouches deeper into his seat and comfortably leans his head against your arm and the side of your breast.

Flabbergasted, you clam up and fight down the hotness that tries to flood your cheeks.

Why would he even—

“Aw, isn’t that just precious?” Ochaco giggles and the two girls in front of you giggle.

“You’re such a dirty girl, (Name), making your move while he’s asleep,” Mina teases. “I didn’t think you had it in you.”

“Wait! It isn’t what it looks like! He did it on his own,” you whisper and try to carefully shrink away from him, but he only slides down further to completely rest against your chest. “Eep!”

“But you like it! You’re glowing!” Toru says, and an invisible finger pokes at your cheek.

“Will you all be quiet!? He could wake up any second,” you lowly hiss.

“Good, then you can tell him you like him when he does,” Jiro adds on from behind Ochaco as she and Momo glance over to you.

“Does everyone know?” you gasp, and Momo nods.

“Basically, well, except for Todoroki-kun, apparently.”

You groan and use your free hand to face plant into. “Ugh…He probably just ignores it.”

“No…he’s honestly that dense, (Name)…” Kaminari comments. “It’s actually pretty impressive.”

You sigh. “What if you’re wrong, and I embarrass myself?”

“You won’t! Just find a romantic spot once we get to the lodge and confess!” Ochaco encourages.

“Mrm…maybe." You groan. Glancing back at the boy leaning into you, you nervously hum. "Let's just see when we get there, first," you think.

---

“I’m so tired!” you groan and fall on your butt in the dirt. You didn’t realize camp meant training camp with cat people.

“Healer’s are rare, even rarer ones who can fight. So, I want you to train closely so you can become a battle medic.”

You sigh. Honestly, sometimes Shuzenji is so sweet and other times you’re sure she wants you dead. Worse yet, you still haven’t confessed to Todoroki. You had plenty of chances to do so but it always failed for one reason or another, usually by the fault of one of your oblivious classmates.

“You’ve gotten a lot stronger since you last trained with us.”

Surprised, you blink up at Todoroki standing over you. “You think so?” you ask hopefully, and he nods.

Trying to remain humble and avoid looking like a dork, you hold in the need to smile. “Thanks! You looked pretty good over there too!” Definitely, he did. Both with his quirk and sweating through a tank top, with strong biceps on display and stocky build hugged by his shirt. Pushing those thoughts away, you glance back over to his training zone where the pot is stone cold. “Although, it looks like they’re trying to cook you rather than train you.”

“It helps regulation,” he says, noticing your own equal amount of sweating. Then, he finally pays attention to the light jacket you’re wearing. “Aren’t you hot in that?”

“A little, but I’m fine, really,” you answer, but in truth, you don’t really like the attention summer clothes bring to, well, places.

“Here,” he says, offering his right hand to you. You grab it, letting him pull you up to your feet as cold chills over you at the same time to cool you down.

You smile softly. “Thanks…”

You let the silence take place as he still holds onto your hand, wrapping your entire hand up soothingly. Hand crusher, you thought not. It’s a perfect opportunity to tell him you liked him. You almost do before he quickly drops your hand and turns away. “Come on, we should get cleaned and start lighting the fires for dinner,” he says monotonously and leads the way towards the lodge.

You frown. He’s completely unfazed or so you thought.

“(Name),” he says, stopping. You almost ran into him because of how sudden it was. He looked at you, face barely having a noticeable change in shade as he averts his gaze from you and anxiously strokes his thumb along his pants pocket.

“What’s up?” you ask, swallowing thickly as he switches to look at you with this deep gaze that has you near about the burst.

Too bad he loses his nerve to say what he wanted to and settles calmly on, “What are you in the mood to eat?”

“Oh...” you frown, dropping your head a little as you kick the dirt at your feet. “Noodles maybe? I’m not picky though,” you reply.

Ochaco places her fists on her hips while Mina pouts at the scene that just played out. “They need help,” she whispers to Mina.

“Right…this is just getting painful,” she agrees before perking up. “I got an idea,” she announces and quickly whispers into Ochaco’s ear who nods along with her explanation.

“You sure that’s a good idea?”

Mina laughs. “Well, no, but I’m sure Todoroki will forgive us at the end of the day!” she says hopefully and pushes Ochaco to help her go talk to class B.

Just after your bath, you go up to your room at the request of your teacher for some last-minute training for whatever reason. When you got to the room, you somehow got roped into a conversation about yourself and your “sort of” boyfriend. Sometimes she really acts like your own grandma, especially when two girls come to her to expose your crush and talk her in on their little plan while you were still bathing.

“When I was your age, it took me less time to go through three boys in the time it’s taken you to get one,” she replies with a short laugh, as you bury your head into your pillow to try to block her out.

“It’s not my fault! I just can’t figure out how to get him to notice me in that way,” you explain once again while a knock suddenly comes from the door. Shuzenji shakes her head, patting the back of your leg before walking to the door.

“You always make everything difficult. I know his family, and I know the way he acts, but he’s still a teenaged boy, if you really want him to notice so badly just use what your parents gave you.”

“W-What!?”

“You just have to pretty yourself up a little more like me,” she suggests. “Everyone wants to walk me home,” she says, and you have no idea if she’s serious or not.

“Seriously?”

“Of course, you think I carry this cane around for my health?” she chuckles and finally opens the door.

You gape. “Granny don’t answer the door when you’re saying things like that!”

“Hello, (Name), Shuzenji-san!” Mina greets. Your eyes widen as you see both her and Ochaco supporting a limp Todoroki between the two of them. “Are you two busy?”

“Todoroki-san, what happened to him?” Recovery Girl “questions” concerned.

“He just spent too long in the hot springs so he’s a little dizzy,” Ochaco hastily explains. The truth is they just sucker shot him with someone’s quirk on his way out the Hot springs, but you didn’t need to know that. “Do you think he can rest it off here? It should only be for a few minutes.”

“Of course, (Name)-chan, why don’t you sit him on the bed?”

“Oh, okay!” you agree as the two girls drag him in and basically drop him into your arms. You grunt as you adjust to holding him. Heavy bastard.

“Thanks, you’re the best!” The girls cheer while you fall back onto the bed, sitting on the edge with him groaning in your arms. “Well, we got to go fix dinner and all!”

“Hold on girls, I’ll come with you,” Shuzenji says and turns to you, still trying to lift him up. “I’m going to go help monitor the other students, so I’m leaving him in your capable hands until he’s feeling better.”

“But what about my training?” you ask, squirming to get from under Todoroki weighing you down towards the bed.

“What better training than hands-on?” she responds, and you almost wouldn’t have suspected anything if not for the slight inflection to her suggestion.

”I-I can’t do that!” People get licenses revoked and jail time for what she’s insinuating. “W-Wait! You can’t leave me with him like this, Shuzenji-san!”

“He’s your patient, make sure you take good care of him,” she says and closes you in.

You finally fall back to the bed in a huff, crushed under your crush. He doubles down and wraps his arms around you.

You stay like that for several minutes, awkwardly letting him lay on top of you as you wait for him to come back down to earth. The effects seem to be wearing off because he keeps mumbling every now and again rather than the soft breathing and groggy groans from earlier.

“(Name), you smell nice,” Todoroki mumbles under his breath.

You flush and try to coax him off you now that he seems to be getting a clearer head. Well, enough for you to try to run before he completely realizes the position you’re in. “Shouto, I have to get up."

Sighing, Todoroki refuses to move, cuddles tighter to you, and lightly rubs at your sides. “Don’t,” he requests and nuzzles against your chest. You just feel too good to let go right now.

“You have to let me go.”

“Why?” he demanded, slightly irritated at your moving.

“Someone might walk in and get the wrong idea!” You hope he can’t hear your heart going crazy as you become his personal pillow, but he can. Clearly and loudly enough to give him some courage.

“Would that be so bad?” he asks, anticipation pulling at his heart and mind.

“Yes!” you say, and he sighs into your skin, regret sinking into him. “If one of the teachers come looking for us, we'll get railroaded then everyone already thinks that we like each other, and—”

“They aren’t wrong, not completely,” he interrupts softly, weakly sliding to get off you. He holds a hand to his aching head, not completely sure why it was hurting except for a vague memory of too much pink. “I’m sorry, I just need a second, and I’ll leave you alone.”

You frown, guilt swelling inside you because you hadn’t meant it like that at all but also happiness that he felt the same way as you did. He clumsily stands to his feet, but you stop him.

“Wait,” you say and pull on his arm. “I didn’t mean that I didn’t want that. I like you, too. I just didn’t know if you liked me back, and I didn’t want to do anything that could run you off,” you confess, waiting patiently for a response from the quiet boy. When he doesn’t, you nervously place a small kiss on the corner of his lips.

Shouto blinks a few times, and you wonder for a second if he even knows where he is. He does, and you suck in air as he leans in to kiss you again, soft lips pressing against your slightly parted mouth. You close yours and press them against him innocently. Getting the feel for it, you gently open your mouth to suck his bottom lip. His breath tickles slightly each time he pulls away before meeting you for another passionate kiss.

In seconds, you’re pushing him down.

His arms go around your waist, his tongue along your own, and he moans at the way your chest hugs and molds against his chest. You share a few more kisses, slow and gentle, savoring the taste of each other as he runs his hands over the small of your back just at the hem of your shirt.

He loves the feel of your skin warm against his fingertips, unable to wait any longer to touch you now that you’re his. All his.

Large hands cup your cheeks, settling your forehead against his own. You inhale deeply, taking in the sweet scent from the hot springs. He pulls his hands away, lowering them to your shoulder. He slides his thumbs over your skin in tender strokes. “(Name), can I touch you?” he asks, squeezing your arms before pecking you again.

“I—that’s okay,” you answer and kiss him again, the passion from before returning.

Calloused fingers pinch at your sides, gliding down the outline of your body. His touch is warm and comforting. It has you growing hotter, and a familiar knot begins to grow inside you. The same can be said for Todoroki as the bulge against your leg swells.

His hands rake over your ass and trace up your spine. Carefully, he massages your back under your shirt before moving to the front of you. He softly squeezes the side of your breasts before gripping and following the strap to where it hooked in the center. He already has the first hook undone. You gasp in his mouth as the cups loosen, and he moves one hand to pull up your shirt.

“Shouto-kun! A-Ah~” but the next hook already unpairs “S-Stop! Don’t touch me there!”

Flustered, you thrust off him and hold your hand to your chest to stop your bra from sliding further.

Eyes stretched wide with worry at your sudden jerk, he stammered, “Sorry, I got carried away.”

“It’s not your fault, you just surprised me a little is all.”

“I’m sorry, is this better?” he whispers, kissing your neck. This time he holds his hands to your stomach and more slowly works his way towards your chest, but you pull away again.

“N-No, I mean…I don’t want you to see,” you reiterate, and he tilts his head at your bashful expression. “I don’t really like them.”

“I don’t understand why you would be embarrassed,” he softly says. Pursing his lips in thought, his gaze slowly drifts down you from head to toe. He can feel himself get harder as he studied your cutely flustered face and the way your arm squished into the soft flesh of your chest. You were so beautiful through and through. It hurt that you felt that way about it since he really liked your figure.

“They just kind of get in the way, and they aren’t super perky like smaller or fake ones,” you explain with a scowl.

“That doesn’t matter to me, I want to see them because they’re yours,” he promises, and you flush lightly and play with the edge of your shirt. He smiles faintly and lovingly kisses your lips. “You don’t have to. I just wanted you to know that.”

Mustering up some courage, you nervously pull your shirt up. You don’t have the fortitude to toss both your shirt and bra off together all sexy like, so you let your shirt fall to the bed before removing the next article. You chew your bottom lip, crossing one arm under your chest to rub at the other.

“S-So,” you question, not daring to look him in the eye as butterflies fill your stomach.

“You’re so beautiful,” he mutters, making your heart soar. You whimper when his lips meet the crook of your neck again.

Todoroki gently bites, and you tense as he cups your breasts. You shiver as his tongue glances across your pulse, and he squeezes into the firm yet soft globes before gently caressing to let them overfill his hands.

“They feel good,” he thinks out loud before glancing back up into your eyes. “Are they sensitive, too?” he whispers against your lips, and he brushes his fingers across your nipples.

You release a soft mewl. He kisses the top of your breasts, ghosting loving nips and bites along your skin before closing his mouth around one of your sensitive nipples.

You hug him to your chest, moaning. Impatiently, you rock against his lap, stroking his clothed erection. He groans and sucks harder, pulling the taut nub between his teeth before moving to the other side. Todoroki tweaks the other bud, warming his hand against your skin.

Weak and needy is all you feel when he releases with a wet pop and licks your saliva covered skin before smothering his head into your chest and biting into the supple mounds. You flush at the attention given to them as he pushes you down onto your back and settles between your legs.

“Shouto,” you moan, and he blushes slightly from the sweet way in which you say his name.

“(Name)…” he whispers before kissing you again. Slowly, he began to grind against you. He jerks and lightly bucks against you, his hard cock rubbing you outside your clothes. He keeps his lips on yours and his hands cupping and caressing your breasts.

Your eyes flutter, your tongue swirl with his, and you needful-ly suck on his pink muscle. Aroused, you lift and grind your womanhood back against him, finding the good mixture of pressure and friction that has you almost there.

Todoroki gasps, biting back a moan. “(Name), I’m close,” he chokes out, tightly squeezing his eyes shut as he tries to hold back.

You lick his lips, tangling your hands into his hair and mussing the colors together. “I know, me too,” you whine, wrapping your legs around him. “Please, make me cum, Shouto,” you mewl, and he buries his head against your shoulder as he slows his pace but drags himself more heavily against you, and each rub has you throbbing until the dam finally breaks.

“Shouto! Sho~” you cry and hold onto him tight, and he picks up his pace to see you through and meet you there. He’s almost there, your moans driving him crazy faster.

So close.

“Knock! Knock! Dinner is ready!” Mina announces and swings open the door on your mini-love fest. Ochaco tags along, obviously coming to see the results of their little experiment but she goes wide-eyed and red face before turning away with a squeal as she catches the last of off-guard grinding and Todoroki’s hold on you as you submissively cry out.

“T-Todoroki! We told you to confess to her, not whatever this is!” Ochaco squeaks, pointing blindly in your direction.

"You mean sex?" he answers for her irritably, like she legitimately didn't know what it was. "Because I'd like to finish doing that if you don't mind."

"J-Just don't say it so casually like that!" you groan as Ochaco stammers something along the same lines.

At that moment, you pitifully whine and curl up against Todoroki in a vain attempt to cover yourself, and he finally gets the idea to lay down on top of you to help you cover up. At least it’s them and not one the boys, but that helps little to soothe you in this situation.

“You know what, we’ll just go…you two take your time,” Mina says, awkwardly, and carefully pulls the door back closed.

Sighing, you look back up at Todoroki, unsure what to say. “Should we keep going, then?” he genuinely questions.

You clear your throat. “I think it’s better if we don’t keep them waiting,” you answer, not much liking the idea of them knowing you were off having sex somewhere.

Though, Todoroki’s annoyed pout was a cute result as he lifted off from you and helped you find your clothes.

You came downstairs for dinner, and there’s an obvious tension to the air that has you gulping as you sit down for an awkward dinner. You suppose the looks of embarrassment, sweat, and shame goes a long way in communication.

Shortly and with minor teasing, dinner goes along normally with you lightly picking at your food while Todoroki seems less than concerned about the atmosphere as he slurps down on soba especially now that he cooled it down with his quirk.

You almost relax until the person in front of you speaks.

“Why does Todoroki get to hug (Name)-chan’s boobies? I wanted a feel, too,” you barely hear across the table from the most obvious person in the room... "at least there's still Yaoyorozu," he thinks wistfully.

Your face goes hot as you choke on your dinner. You open your mouth to protest, but that’s before you hear the clicking of chopsticks next to you. Todoroki casts a sharp glare, that even has you a little worried, especially when a chill begins to flow through the air.

“Mineta...I can’t guarantee your safety on this trip if you keep talking about my girlfriend in that manner, so I suggest you shut up and keep your thoughts and your hands to yourself,” he threatens, ice creeping up the legs of the table and over Mineta’s seat.

“Y-Yeah, I got it, I won’t do it again,” he vows between chattering teeth. Well, at least not when Todoroki is within hearing range.

“Calm down, Todoroki, you’re going to freeze the food,” Kirishima warns him.

“It doesn’t matter, mine is already cold,” he explains indifferently, finally letting go his glare as the conversation moved on. “I can also just heat it in my mouth if need be.”

“But you’re not the only one who needs to eat!” Kaminari barks out.

Todoroki nods in understanding and glances at you. “(Name), does your food need to be reheated?”

“No, I’m good!” you answer, more concerned with the drumming in your chest. He called you his girlfriend.

"If it gets too cool before you finish, tell me."

"I will."

“Sure, sure, that's good for her! But what about the rest of us!?” Kaminari repeats.

Todoroki blinks. “What about you?” he sasses and returns to his soba with a loud slurp.

You hold back a laugh as the rest of the table complains at an indifferent IcyHot boy.

Afterward, you decide to settle down in the main room together in a far-off corner where no one could bother you as you sit between his legs with his arms drawn around your waist and his thumbs discreetly massaging the underside of your chest.

You would have to wait until everyone went to sleep to have some alone time to continue where you left off.

#todoroki x reader #shouto todoroki x reader #bnha x reader #mha x reader #todomochi #Adelssmut #notsfw

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merci-bitch · 4 years

Text

I Can Make You Love Me

Riza’s girl part ll

Riza Stavropol x Fem!Reader

Genre: Drama, small hint of NSFW, angst

Words: 3k

Warning(s): knife mark, small hint of smut, cursing, manipulation, angst

A/N: well, I’m surprised I even finished this. This doesn’t particularly mean I’m back but I’ve been fighting my own stuff but I’m starting to come back at least haha. I haven’t read through it so sorry if there’s any misspelling or stuff. Anyways, enjoy!

I was soaked in a pool of sweat and the heat blazing down from the sun on us through her widow didn't make the situation any better. I felt like I was in a sauna and I definitely felt tired. I could feel Riza's piercing blue eyes like the clear waters of Greece targeting me. Marking me.

"Well, how was it?" I rolled over on my side to look at her. I had two options, of an answer. One would please her very much and the other one, meh. It would piss her off.

"Terrible." I mussed sarcastically. I watched the cocky smirk on her face fade and I let out a laugh. "You little bitch!" She playfully smacked my ass. "Naughty girl, aren't you?" She bit her bottom lip and watched me carefully.

"When I want to be." I smiled. Riza leant her head down and crashed her own lips onto mine. Her teeth bitting my bottom lip for an entry to my mouth. Hesitantly, I opened my mouth and felt her tongue mix with my own. She was dominating me. When she pulled away we were both panting and she looked satisfied. "I take it back. My good girl." She pulled me close and caressed my face.

I felt content in her arms but I was still on edge. "Darling?" She loosened her grip on me and cubbed my cheek with her hand. "What's wrong?" I looked down before answering. "I-sorry, I'm just...I'm just a little worried about H."

"H?" She looked angry and kinda surprised. "We just had sex and now you're thinking of H?!" She sat up.

"R-Riza, I didn't mean-"

"Oh no, my darling. You did mean it. You most certainly did. I told you he's an asshole, Y/N. I told you he's no good." Her eyes gleamed with malicious intent and I felt scared. Scared she was going to hurt me even worse then she already did.

"You still love him, don't you?" Riza was almost on the border of yelling. "Don't you?!" She got in my face and that's when I pushed her off of me.

"No! But I still care about him and he's trying his best. He's the only person I have left who's like family to me and don't I have the right to feel anyway I want? Or do you own that too." I knew that I was playing with fire but despite the fear I had for Riza, she was so beautiful when she was mad. I couldn't help but love it. How her nose would curl, adorable.

"Yes. You do but not when we're in the middle of something ourselves! For example, finishing sex! You love me, don't you?" She started to sound desperate.

"Riza-"

"You want me. The way you've never wanted anyone befo-"

"You know I do but I told you, I believe in chances and right now? You're about to lose yours. As soon as I said those words, Riza's face dropped. A part of me regretted what I had said. She looked hurt. Betrayed. She lied down again and turned her back towards me. "Riza...Riza, I'm sorry."

"I'm not speaking to you." She said after a few minutes. Her tone was cold and it made me feel uncomfortable. "Riza, I didn't mean to hurt you but I'm worried."

"Worried about him? Worried about that fucking traitor? He's a jerk. I told you that." She spun around and looked at me. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have snapped at you but I care about you, okay? I care about you more then I've cared about anyone in a while and I don't want to lose you. Her eyes turned soft.

"You won't lose me, okay? I care about you too, but I can at least have the right to know that he's alright." Riza let out a sigh. "If I tell you he's alright, will you leave the topic be?" She kissed my nose and help me tight to her. "..Yes." I breathed inwardly.

"Then he's fine. I promise." Despite the anxiety I felt, I trusted her words and slowly began to snuggle into her. "Thank you." She ran her fingers through my hair and gave my forehead a kiss. "Get some rest." I nodded my head and clutched onto her tightly. She was so warm and smelled so sweet despite all the sweat she was caked in. "I love you."

"I love you too, my precious girl."

***

"You bitch! This is the final straw!"

"We'll see about that."

H looked down at the ground, frowning as he'd seen you coming in and out of consciousness. "You hurt her Riza! Why would you do that? I told you that this is between you and me."

"But it's not though." She kicked the ground, showing off her tone legs through her silk dress. "Haven't you missed me, H?"

"Missed you? The thought of you repulses me. Especially now. You're lucky I haven't killed you after what you did." H said as he slowly started backing down the hallway and Riza chuckled. "Oh pretty boy, you forget that I can read you like the back of my hand." Riza pressed her body close to him and pinned him to the wall.

"Not anymore. I'm a changed person." She held his face in her hands and smiled. "Sure you are." Riza slipped one of her hands underneath his shirt, scratching the bare skin of his chest. His eyes rolled back and Riza couldn't help but smile. "And you say I don't know you."

"Riza-" He meet her eyes almost as if he was in a trace. "H." She mumbled. Their lips nearly grazed each other when H noticed her extra arm moving around him. "What are you-"

BAM!

The smashed barrel of her gun hit the top of his head. H looked puzzled for a moment and Riza smiled, pushing him away from her. "How did you-" He slurred his words before dropping to the ground.

***

"Oh come on, H! One more dance, please!" H winced at the high pitched voice of the woman that had her arm wrapped around his waist but tolerated it. He was hammered from all the alcohol he had been drinking but who could blame him?

It was a long dat at the agency and he needed a break from it all. "Amanda, I would say yes but I'm afraid I'm spent for the night an I must get going."

"But H-"

"No Amanda. Now if you'll excuse me-" H turned around and walked straight into the chest of two alien men. "You're the agency scum that got your hands on our girl?"

The question took him off guard. Their girl? "What, I-I! Know? Come on guys that would be ridiculous." He chuckled nervously. "Wouldn't it?"

The two men in front of him didn't seem amused. The one bulkier grabbed him by his throat and pressed him against the wall. "You calling me liar?"

"No! I-I..." H felt the blood circulating through him becoming less and less. "Let him be, Dorian. He's with me. Aren't you, darling?"

H choked on his own breath and looked up at the face of savior. It was a woman, and she was beautiful. "My apologies, Riza." She let out a humming noise and pulled a blaster out of her silk dress. H got a quick glimpse of her sheer underwear and felt himself swell up with lust.

"Sure." Riza shot him and screams of panic were erupted inside the bar. H just sat there on the ground looking at her confusedly until he noticed she had extended her hand out towards him. "Shall we?"

Despite how wrong he knew it was, he took her hand and walked out the bar with her hand in hand. "What's your name handsome?"

"H. Agent H."

"Oh, an agent. Well, I'm Riza. Riza Stavros."

"Riza, it's nice to meet you."

"Likewise." She hummed. They come across a tan, Moroccan style building and Riza smiled. "I would take you back to my place, but sadly. I'm on business."

"Of course." Riza grabbed the keys out of her bra and unlocked the door, kicking off her heels right as she stepped in the door. H was baffled by her. He was sure she had to be one of the most beautiful women he'd ever seen. "Sit, darling." Riza gestured to the couch as she rummaged through one of the cabinets of her hotel room. Pulling out a glass tumbler.

"You drink whiskey?" She looked over at H while holding up the bottle. "Yes, thank you." She poured him a glass and poured one for herself and sat down next to him on the couch and handed him his glass. H took a taste, it burned his throat at first but left a smooth aftertaste.

“So what’s an agent like yourself doing here?”

The alcohol burned in his throat but left a sweet aftertaste. He thought carefully before responding. Though he didn’t know what good it would do. It was like Riza was staring into his soul. “Looking for a good time, I suppose.”

“Good time with the wrong woman, my dear.” She caressed his cheek with the back of her thumb and smiled. “You’re such a beautiful man, aren’t you? Pretty boy.” Riza said while crawling onto his lap. H didn’t know what to do or what to say. He was shell shocked and drunk.

Riza peppered kisses on his face and down his throat and H moaned. “Lustful for me already, aren’t you?” H didn’t respond. Part of him wanted to shove the woman on top of him aside but he just, couldn’t. She was just too, goddess like. “Y-Yes.”

***

H woke up, rubbing the back of his head. Shaking his head. That’s when he realised, he was stuck to a bloody chair. After minutes of fighting with the ties, he got lose and stood up. H’s iconic smile back on his sweet baby face. “Never do know how to tie me up, now do you Riza.”

H slowly walked out the room, moving around slowly. Begging for that big blue teddy monster not to walk around the corner. Coast is clear. H walked down the long hallway and despite the years since he’d been here. He almost no trouble finding his way around. All those drunk nights with Riza. Her hands scratching up his chest, back. Her sweet lips on his-no. Not this time. Get Y/N and get out of here.

H was too deep in thought, missing a step. “Shit!” Covering his mouth quickly. Looking around. Surprise, no one was around. H shakes his head again and continued down the hallway and took a sharp left turn. There was a door, cracked open. Hesitantly H opened it.

“Oh god.” H said as he turned back around. There she was, Y/N. But naked. He’d never seen her naked before. H felt his cheeks grown hot, like some middle aged school boy. Damn Riza, for getting them into this. H knew that Y/N was going to be embarrassed when she saw him. If, she ever got to see him of course,

H didn’t trust Riza as far as he’d known her. How the hell did he know that she wasn’t fake sleeping?

Hesitantly he walked over to Y/N and shook her, softly. H didn’t wanna wake her almost. So looked so peaceful when she was asleep. Y/N let out a small groan and opened her eyes. “H..? Oh my god! H!” Her arms flew around his neck. H tensed his shoulders. He didn’t know if he should hug her back or not, afraid of upsetting her. “Riza told me you were alright but I thought I’d never see you again!” Ever so carefully, H ran his hand through Y/N’s soft hair. Glancing over at Riza. “Well, she definitely isn’t awake. That’s for sure. Or I’d be dead by now.”

H couldn’t help the thoughts about Y/N. Damn Riza for making him think this way about her! “Look Y/N, we don’t have much time. We need to get out of here. Your clothes?” Y/N pointed to the end of the bed. H tossed Y/N her clothes and let her get changed. H helped Y/N our of the bed, that’s when Riza stirred. Both H and Y/N panicked. The balcony! They both walked out on it and Y/N pushed H to the side.

“Now why on earth would you do that?” Riza’s deep and raspy voice sent shivers down both H and Y/N’s spines. “Do what?” Y/N asked. Riza walked up to Y/N. “This.” She gestured to her clothed body. The moon was shining on her skin, highlighting the most seductive parts.

“It felt weird to run around naked.” Riza ran her hand up Y/N’s sides. Placing one of her hands on her breast. Kneading it softly. Starting to fumble with her jeans. “I can make it more comfortable for you if you like.” Y/N let out a soft moan and leaned her head back against Riza’s collarbones. H wanted to throw up at the sight of it. The smell of sex permeating off of Riza. This scene was getting almost too nostalgic for him. H tried his very best not to let his eyes wander with how Riza’s hand touched Y/N’s body. How her mouth would launch for her throat and leave small marks.

“Why don’t you come back inside, sweetheart. Hm? What do you say.” Riza’s voice was like honey running. “Riza, we just did it. There’s no need to do it again.” H could hear Riza scoff. “You can’t be serious. It’s sex darling. Something you could do a whole day. And I’ve got a very busy day in a few hours. I need something to calm me down.” H felt himself gag. He took a few steps back and accidentally made a plant fall. Riza snapped her head around. “Oh you’re fucking kidding me. LUCA!” Riza tied her rope around herself and grabbed Y/N’s arm and dragged her inside and once again, H found himself fighting with an old friend.

—

“Am I some sort of joke to you?!” Riza screamed at my face. I shaked my head. Tears burning in the back of my eyes. Riza’s cheeks burning up with anger. Riza took steps back and threw her hands on her sides and scoffed and grabbed the wine bottle on her office table. “R-Riza..?” She threw the cork across the room. “Shut up. Just fucking shut up. You humans, fucking useless.” She scoffed again and started drinking directly from the wine bottle. I sat down, pulling my knees to my chest. This could only go bad.

After 3 wine bottles, she was finally starting to get tipsy. Tipsy Riza was alright, but if it was drunk angry Riza. Run for your fucking life. Where was H when you needed him?!

“Oh drop it, H won’t come this time for you. He’d be dead before he can even spell your fucking name.” Riza held the bottle to her chest and laughed out loud. This wasn’t fun anymore. “Awh, is the little human scared? You want your mommy?” She started taking small steps towards me. Making me back away slowly, towards the stone wall. The floor cold, dirty. Filled with smashed glass. She got down on her knees and crawled towards me. Giving me a good view of her cleavage. My back was against the wall, her nose touching mine. Her eyes dark and cloudy.

“Scared little puppet? Huh? Yeah? Yes!” Her voice, getting higher and higher, and she was getting more insane. “You humans don’t understand anything. Fucking pathetic!” She got even closer. She was a living nightmare. “R-Riza...” With a shaking hand, I reached up and cupped her cheek, only for her to grab my wrist and pull me up and drag me to her desk where she grabbed a knife.

“Riza, no. Let go of it!” She held out my arm and looked at me with blinded eyes and started carving the letter ‘R’ into my skin. Screaming out in pain, pushing her away. Holding my wrist, covering it up in the paper I could find. Riza turned back around and looked at me. Seeing the tears spilling down my cheeks, the blood moving down my arm. She dropped the knife. Her own hands starting to shake. “Y-Y/N, o-oh my god.”

She reached out for me, only for me to move away. Her eyes filling with panic. “I-I don’t know what came over me. Y/N, please let me help.” I shook my head and got up. “No. I’m not letting you help me. I loved you Riza, but this, this is not the Riza I loved.” Her breath shaky. “Wait, no. Please. I can make it up to you. I can love you just as good as he can!” I shook my head. “Riza no. You can see yourself. This is never gonna work.” She shook her head and walked up to me and cubbed my cheeks.

“I can make it work. I can make you love me.”

#Riza Stavros x reader #men in black international

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talkfastromance4 · 4 years

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Valentine (c.h)

Summary: Calum and Bambi have a close relationship, closer than close, but feelings are scary and words are hard for this bassist.

**based off of Linus Young’s song Valentine. It’s amazing, check it out as it set the mood for this**

Word count: 2454

Warnings: smut, angst, pining

Masterlist

Bambi Sherwood came into Calum Hood’s life like a category 5 hurricane with her big beautiful eyes and long dark hair. When he’d first met her he thought Bambi was just her nickname.

“Nope, it’s my real name. My mom loved my big eyes and Bambi was the only name for me,” she laughed and Calum really liked her laugh.

That was six months ago and Calum and Bambi spend every waking minute together. She came into his life unexpectedly but fell right in line with his lifestyle. They talked constantly and hung out almost every chance they could.

He enjoyed her insights and the way she’d become an extrovert when she had a little bit to drink.

One night while she was over at his place drinking and watching movies in his bed she suggested they play twenty questions.

“We already know enough about each other,” he chuckled at first tipping the lip of his beer bottle against his own.

“But not the deep dark secrets,” she says ominously.

Calum glances over at her and can’t help but chuckle at the excited expression on her face, it made her eyes even bigger.

“All right, I’ll play. You first.”

“Favorite color.”

“You already know it’s blue!”

“Shh, we have to start with easy questions! It’s how the game works,” she scolds. “You go.”

“What’s your favorite color?” he rolls his head to the side against his headboard.

“Red.”

They banter back and forth until the questions get deeper and then they take a turn and become sexual.

“Craziest place you had sex?” he asks.

“Um...the back of a jeep. Boobs or ass?”

“Boobs. Do you like dirty talk?”

“If it’s mild, yes. Don’t call me bitch or whore, it will kill my mood real quick.”

“Noted,” he laughs, “Your turn, Bam.”

“Is it true that you’re the oral king?”

Bambi’s head is cocked to the side after her question, eyes alight in curiosity and Calum is concentrated on her tongue running over her bottom lip.

“Do you want an answer or a demonstration?” he asks already moving to hover over her. The pendant of his necklace dangles precariously in front of her face.

“Surprise me,” she sighs staring up at him.

With his heart pounding against his chest, Calum rests his palm on Bambi’s stomach, he feels her inhale sharply at his touch. His eyes slide to hers as he slips his fingers beneath the waistband of her leggings.

Bambi lifts her hips helping him to remove the fabric and her panties. He tosses them to the floor then watches as she removes her shirt and bra as well. With a deep sigh Calum tugs his shirt off tossing it on top of her clothes then hovers above her once more, eyes burning with lust.

Not sure if she wants him to kiss her, Calum presses his lips to her jaw then works his way down slowly. He’s pictured her naked numerous times, she’s beautiful so how could he not? And now he finally gets to taste her, worship her body like he’s imagined and the way she deserves.

His mouth sucks lightly on each of her nipples, pebbling them in his wake while Bambi hums above him while playing with his hair. He smiles on her skin as he progresses even further south, those soft hums are just a prelude to the cacophonous moans that will pass through those pretty lips as he works her over with his mouth.

When he gets to her lower belly he changes course and leaves open mouthed kisses to the flesh of her thighs, her skin smells like coconuts and some type of flower. It makes his mouth water so badly that his teeth nip down on her flesh. Bambi whimpers above him.

Calum pulls open her left leg lifting it over his shoulder as he brings his head level to the opening of her thighs. His mouth waters again when he sees how she’s already so soaked for him and all he did was kiss her skin.

“So pretty,” he breathes then latches his lips on her pussy lips, spreading them open with his tongue as he went to work.

Bambi’s body jerked at his mouth, his eyes closed as he tasted her sweet tanginess. It spiked his tongue and spurred his arousal for her even more as he hummed against her and one of her hands flew to his hair. Bambi pulled as he sucked and Calum worked his bottom jaw faster as he ate her out rapidly.

Her moans trickled in his ears and her pretty gasps made his dick twitch inside his confined sweatpants. Calum swiped his tongue up her folds before closing on her clit, tongue flicking and pressing just as he snuck a finger in her hole.

“Cal, fuck!” she gasps pulling on his hair.

Calum takes a peek at her, her knuckles are white as she fits his comforter and her upper body is writhing as his mouth works her over, finger pumping in languorously. He moves his mouth faster, rotating his head in a circle so he can access every inch of her pussy.

Bambi’s breath comes out in quick pants, her hips rocking against his mouth and Calum feels her walls clench and become more slick. He wiggles his finger inside her until he’s practically pulling her orgasm from within, he laps up her wetness as she comes on his mouth.

His name slips from her lips like a prayer while his own lips are doing the sinful act to get her there. He hums against her and Bambi’s fingers tug harder on his hair, her moans are louder and her heel digs into his back. It’s a mixture of pain and pleasure until Bambi falls limp and Calum licks up the last of her orgasm.

He pulls his mouth away, pulls his finger out slowly and wipes it on his sweatpants before he kisses back up her body. He’s captivated by her clear post-orgasm blissed expression. Her lips are parted as she catches her breath and her eyes are shining brighter than he’s ever seen them.

“Did that answer your question?” He mumbles turning his head from side to side so he can see her face at every angle possible.

Bambi can only nod then she licks her lips. “Can you kiss me?”

Calum captures her lips instantaneously and her fingers are in his hair once more as she wraps her body around his. His hand moves up and down her thigh as their tongues roll and slink together, no doubt she can taste herself and yet she continues kissing him.

Bambi juts her hips to his causing them to roll over, Calum’s hands explore the expanse of her back as she lifts her hips slightly. Her hand travels down his toned stomach to stroke his very hard cock. The soft moan excites her again and she bites his lower lip, she’s wanted to nibble on it since they first met.

“Can I ride you?” she breathes, her nails scratching up his shaft lightly.

“Yeah, yeah,” he pants, “fuck.”

Bambi smiles slipping down his body leaving teasing kisses to his lower stomach and even more teasing pecks to his tip. Calum’s breathing heavily as Bambi’s kissing becomes more wet, she’s opening her lips a bit more until she takes him in her mouth.

She bobs her head a few times to get him slick and lubed up even though she feels herself becoming wetter as well. Satisfied, she hovers over him again and lines herself to his cock. Calum’s fingers are tight on her waist, his dark brown eyes meet her dark blue in a stare down of lust and need as she sinks onto him.

Calum and Bambi moan in unison then she begins to rock her hips forward and back before leaning down to kiss his soft lips. It doesn’t take long until Calum’s bucking his hips into hers and she’s clenching around him as another orgasm wracks her body.

Calum comes quickly after, his stamina is usually better than this but with Bambi on top of him, clenching around him and moaning his name in his ear? He knew he was a goner for sure.

****

It became a common occurrence that after their friends left from a hangout or it was a shared ride home from a night out, Calum and Bambi would fall into bed with each other. It was easy, whatever this was between them.

When in crowds Calum would hold onto her hand maneuvering through the hordes of people but as soon as fans or cameras were around he’d let go. Bambi would think he’d let go to protect her from getting backlash from the public.

He’d stare at her with such intensity as she spoke to him about her day or venting about an annoying coworker, she’d be filled with butterflies.

Bambi began to notice that after every time they had sex, Calum would slip away and have a smoke. That unsettled Bambi because he’d only smoke when he’s stressed. Scared to question him and even more terrified for the answer, she let it drop and welcomed him back into bed with open arms.

When his birthday rolled around she spent it by his side while Ashton surprised him with a birthday party. Everyone was there and when he blew his candles out, he shot her a wink.

After Bambi gives him the best birthday sex ever, he stares at her for the longest time. Bambi watches him try and work his mouth to form whatever words are floating in his head and it’s the cutest thing.

Calum feels the three words he’s petrified to say hanging off the the very tip of his tongue. When he’d feel the words rise from his throat, his mouth clamps shut and he rolls off her ruffling his hair in exasperation. He rises from his bed yanking on his joggers and moves to grab his pack of cigarettes.

“Hold on, wait a minute,” she struggles out from his sheets gathering her clothes in a pile. Calum turns to face her, his expression somber. “You want to love me but I know you can’t.”

“What do you mean I can't?” he asks watching her slip her clothes back on.

“You can’t because you’re scared. I’m scared too Cal, but I wanna be with you and you can’t admit that. So what are we doing?”

“Everyday’s a struggle, baby,” he sighs. “I don’t want to put you through that.”

“I won’t be putting up with anything, I'll be with you. If you can’t see that then. . . what are we doing, Calum?”

“I don’t know, Bambi, all right? I don’t fuckin’ know!” he suddenly blows up and starts to pace.

“You do know! You’re just too scared to say it! You know how I feel but I won’t be tugged along while you try and figure it out or don’t figure it out,” she shakes her head and grabs her phone. “Bye Calum.”

And just like that, Calum’s hurricane vanished and he was left more in a wreckage of destruction.

*****

Two weeks have gone by of Calum and Bambi not talking and with Valentine’s Day vastly approaching, Calum can feel the entire weight of her absence.

“You’re an idiot,” Ashton tells him on the 12th while they’re hanging out. “You and Bambi have always acted like a couple since you first met a year ago.”

“Yeah and I fucked up, trust me, I know,” Calum sighs.

“So unfuck it up.”

“How?”

“Valentine’s Day is in two days, buddy,” Ashton shrugs, “I think you can figure it out.”

*****

Bambi’s had a rough day at work. Calum has been on her mind since his birthday and their last conversation has left an unsettling feeling in her stomach. All she wanted to do was order food from her favorite Asian restaurant and cuddle under her blankets watching Netflix.

As she turns the key she hears the bass from an all too familiar song and when she opens her door she hears the soft voice of Calum singing over her speakers. Did she leave it on? Bambi walks tentatively to her kitchen where she sees a tier of lit candles in the center of her table with two bouquets of the deepest red roses and her order from that Asian restaurant sat perfectly on a plate.

A throat clears behind her and Bambi spins around and is face to face with the man himself, Calum. He’s giving her a sheepish grin and puppy eyes while he holds a single rose to his lips. He takes small, careful steps towards her and Bambi is frozen in shock.

“Before you start yelling, I need to apologize. I was an inconsiderate ass and all I’ve thought about for the last two weeks is you,” he sets the rose down on the table then takes her hands in his. “I’m sorry for how I acted and how I didn’t say what I wanted. I’ve missed you, Bam, so, so much.”

“I missed you, too,” she whispers then flings her arms around his broad shoulders.

Calum lifts her easily off the floor, inhaling her familiar scent and squeezes her tightly.

So deep, your DNA's being messed with my touch Can't beat us So real, fueling the fire until we combust

Michael’s voice croons in their ears as lips find lips and clothes are removed with rushed passion. Calum and Bambi join together again igniting the same spark that’s always been with them, her moans fill the room as Calum fills her with pleasure. It’s the slowest but most passionate sex either of them have ever had.

As Bambi tries to recover, Calum brings over a sweet treat. Chocolate cupcakes with red frosting, Bambi’s favorite. He lays on top of her and swipes his finger into the frosting, holding the red glob in front of her lips.

“Let’s play twenty questions,” he suggests just as she licks the frosting off his finger. She always eats the frosting first.

“Okay,” she giggles swiping frosting on her finger and holds it to his lips, “You first.”

“Do you love me?” he asks without missing a beat, his eyes fixed on hers.

“I love you, Calum,” she nods. “Do you love me?”

Calum sets the cupcake down and traces Bambi’s lips, her nose and beneath her eyes.

“I’ve always loved you, Bambi. I’m not scared to say that now.”

He leans in placing his lips by her ear as he sings lowly in her ear, “got nothin’ but love for you, fall more in love everyday, valentine.”

“My valentine,” she whispers and drags Calum’s lips to her own.

• • • •

Taglist: @galcalirwin @cashtonasff5sos@wokeupinjapanisabop @myloverboyash @rotten-kandy @tea4sykes @jannimoeller3 @loveroflrh @iovehemmings @cxddlyash @princesslrh @here-for-the-uproars @katiaw2

#calum smut #calum hood fic #calum hood writing #calum hood smut #calum angst #calum hood angst #calum x oc #valentine #calum 5sos #calum imagine #calum fic

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patheticwithanem · 3 years

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2020 in Retrospect

Hey friend,

I know it’s late, but I HAVE TO DO THIS. I kind of promised myself I’m writing about the year that was. I’m not exactly sure why; maybe it’s to put things in perspective going in to 2021? And today’s my fourth year anniversary with my employer, so I guess it’s perfect timing? (More on that later)

So I was going through my notes (I have this habit of writing down what happens on a daily basis - be it activities, emotions, drama, name it) and one thing’s for sure. 2020 SUCKED. It did. But I’m committing to this no matter what!

First things first: lots of profanities along the way. Well actually, I was about halfway writing the letter when fucking Tumblr decided to refresh and delete what I’ve been writing for about one fucking hour now. So I have to fucking do it all over again. If this is the Lord telling me to stop being sentimental about 2020, fret not my Lord! I’m one stubborn son of a bitch, so I’m carrying on.

Here’s how the rest of the year unfolded. 2020. Let’s go.

JANUARY. Reunions?

January 1. Had a get-together with a few relatives in Malabon. It was fun! I used to be so allergic to family reunions but I guess age creeping in changes you? You value people even more now? This was also the last time we’re able to spend some time with my uncle from Singapore. He brought his family to spend the holidays here. He’s a sweetheart and a great father who’s missed.

January 9. I attended a college dormmate’s wedding. I remember contemplating whether to go or not only to realize I’m actually lucky to be even invited given the fact that I chose to be distant for them for a long while. I also told myself that not showing up is so far from what I’m trying to be. Although I wasn’t there for the whole thing, I’m glad I did come. I was able to bond with my roommates once again whom I treated like brothers ten years ago and that was nice. A not-so-close dormmate even introduced me to his boyfriend and that’s huuuuge. The bride was beautiful too, and I’m glad she’s in the best place right now after all she’s been through. She’s a strong one, that girl.

January 11. Got invited to a birthday pool party of a colleague at work. I have to say I’m actually quite surprised I was invited to this. She’s always had my back though and always kind of looked after me, so I had to go. It was fun but I didn’t get drunk AT ALL.

January 12. AND THIS IS WHERE SHIT STARTED HAPPENING. The Taal Volcano erupted. It was awful especially for everyone living near the area because everything was covered with ash. It was also a day before my brother’s birthday and we thought the ashfall would be worse the next day so we decided to celebrate earlier.

January 19. Went to a fiesta. Did not expect to survive that at all. It was a different kind of neighborhood, but the people were nice.

January 25. Went to a public market with co-workers to buy clothes, eat chicken wings for dinner and then our regular fix of karaoke. Good times.

Anything else? I was able to book a birthday trip to Yogyakarta, which I eventually canceled because of youknowwhat. Tragic.

February. Blindside!

February 7. Blindside’s a bitch. Yes, that’s what I had written on my notes. I legitimately felt blindsided. So story: I have a friend who I found out was pregnant (let’s call her Ms. Preggy, sorry) and me and her bestfriend (let’s call him Work Son because he was my work son in a lot of ways) decided to hold an intervention for her. The four of us including a friend I’m going to call The-Now-Bestie (kind of a spoiler) whom I had a misunderstanding and was not in speaking terms with will be coming to Work Son’s place. Essentially, the goal was to make Ms. Preggy open up about her pregnancy and her issues with the douchebag father; make her feel that she has us and she doesn’t need to be alone in this. I think it went well, in that regard. However, the whole thing was awkward in epic proportions. It’s as if me and The-Now-Bestie didn’t want to acknowledge each other’s existence, and when we didn’t have a choice, we were sarcastic to each other. I also really felt like an outsider among the four that time; like I wasn’t supposed to be there and wasn’t really contributing to anything. It was a really lonely feeling. I decided to distance myself to them after that.

February 13. WINNERS AT WAR PREMIERE! Words can’t even express how excited I was to see some of my heroes again on screen! Parvati with that “phoenix rising from the ashes” confessional? Damn, girl! Still a fucking legend! It was also nostalgic Yul working his godfather magic once again. I’ve always seen him as a top-tier winner and someone I looked up to for what he represented to the Asian community and the history of Survivor. It was also nice seeing Kim, Tyson, Tony, Sophie, Natalie and Sandra. But I must say I kind of missed Todd. He was my favorite winner and was a great storyteller, a great strategist and a great character with an amazing comeback story. He would’ve been perfect for a season with this caliber of players. And as much as I hate Jeff Probst for shoving him down our throats, I wanted to see Cochran play with these winners! Caramoan’s my first season (a late superfan, yes) and he’s the very reason I got so hooked with the show. I used to think it’s a game where people like me never win. So to see someone like Cochran who’s awkward in every sense of the word (and owning it) win Survivor, it is very inspiring. I like speaking in metaphors and it’s funny how much metaphorical Survivor can be to how I see life now. I see Cochran and if he can win in Survivor, I feel like I can win in life, as silly as that sounds. Cochran sucked his first season, but he then went on to play this dominant game his second try while still managing to be the adorkable underdog that he is. I love that story. Man, I get so worked up when I talk about Survivor! I wish I had that same passion with anything else.

February 19. Mom slipped and had to be rushed to the nearest ER. Good thing there were no fractures and she was fine. I guess we can thank the fats for that? LOL

February 21 ‘til 23. WEEKEND STAYCATION! I needed this! Drinking at the hotel taproom with a live band? YES! Indian for lunch and surf-and-turf buffet for dinner? YES YES YES! That lamb chops, MY LORD. Thank you.

February 29. Leap Day. I started journaling again.

March. FUCKING COVID.

March 16. The Start of the Lockdown we all come to love now (punk, sarcasm).

March 17. Politics is so taboo to discuss especially over dinner. But then BAM. I had a major fight with my dad (and by major, I mean MAJOR in a get-out-of-the-house-in-the-middle-of-the-pandemic kind of major). It was basically about a comment he made that’s so misogynistic (towards the Vice President) that I just knew I can’t just let go. It was sooo bad I got all pissed, and when I’m pissed, I can get scary. Maybe it’s the voice or the eyes or both, but the fight got really heated on the verge of getting physical. Which now that I think about it is stupid just because of fucking different political views. Well, I can never get behind the President and they’re huge fans of him and I’ve come to terms with that but it’s just... bleh. I’m not even gonna try to rationalize it because I can’t. It’s just.. disgusting. Oh fucking well.

April. Wander-fucking-lust.

April 1. I started a 30-day Financial Detox which basically meant no unnecessary expenses. No online shopping, no paying for leisure. None. It was April Fools, but I was dead-set on saving! (Spoiler alert: I failed.)

April 6. Meltdown. I just really couldn’t hold it in anymore.

April 11. Dad’s birthday. After not talking for over a month (which is no easy feat in a tiny condominium unit), we acknowledged each other’s presence. By April 15, it’s like nothing happened anymore. He even gave me a home haircut (which for a beginner, is pretty good). On other news, I started watching The Politician on Netflix and t’was the day I started obsessing on Ben Platt and his music.

April 16. A year ago, I was enjoying sidewalk pho and almost making friends at Cu Chi Tunnels and the Saigon Skydeck of the Bitexco Financial Tower in Ho Chi Minh. Damn, covid.

April 18. That crazy border-crossing from Saigon to Phnom Penh a year ago. That was fulfilling. Damn, covid.

April 19. A year ago, I was experiencing sunrise at Angkor Wat. Wander-fucking-lust UGH.

April 30. That Town Hall shoutout from our company’s President because of reaching my quota from last month. That really felt good. As much as I hate to admit it, I like being validated from time to time. It definitely meant a lot especially coming from her who took a chance on me. I was patting my back.

MAY. Endure. Let Go.

May 14. KING TONY WON. Very well-deserved win. A disappointment of a season if you ask me, but props to the king for dominating an all-winners season. Respect for that. Also Natalie and Michele played great games as well and they should be very proud of themselves. I feel like a proud father to these winners HAHAHA!

May 16. Was pleasantly surprised with Dead to Me. That car scene between Jen and Judy on that ninth episode from the second season? Damn. That’s one of the few moments I teared up because of a TV show. That was powerful. All that tension building up and then that sudden release? I really felt that.

May 26. Why do I always feel all this fucking rage inside of me? I try to think of any triggers but I can’t seem to find one that’s actually reasonable. It’s like the isolation getting the best of me. I initially thought quarantine’s going to be a cakewalk for an introvert like myself, but it wasn’t the case. I feel like I’m losing my shit because I was stripped off of the usual things I have access to whenever I feel uneasy and anxious and angry like this. Endure, let go, I know. But it’s so much easier said than done, right?

JUNE. Breathe.

June 12. So the plan to sell the condo and find a new place is real. We went to this great place in Valenzuela and it was a great house and all but I felt weird. Maybe I was having trouble letting go? Maybe it’s just me being averse to change yet again?

June 15. Slept 6am for that How To Get Away With Murder series finale. That speech. VIOLA. Chills all over my body.

June 18. New phone was delivered. That was fast.

June 27. First time visiting the village we moved to. We were checking a different house this time and was already picturing us living there. Still felt weird, but maybe less.

Looking at it now, I realize almost nothing happened in this stretch of months. Pathetic.

JULY. Change (that’s not necessarily good lol)

July 3. The Anti-Terrorism Bill signed. FUCK THE CIRCUS THAT IS THE PHILIPPINE GOVERNMENT.

July 10. Doomsday. The ABS-CBN renewal disapproved. FUCK THE CIRCUS THAT IS THE PHILIPPINE GOVERNMENT. Also, that first house we checked was bought this day. First heartbreak.

July 22. Decided to donate to one of my elementary teachers to help finance school supplies for his students in the province. That felt good.

July 24. folklore’s goooood. This is the Taylor Swift sound that I love. (I had to write that down because that was a 2020 highlight to be honest)

AUGUST. Getting older. Again.

August 2. Donated to another cause: to help a really close friend’s mom (who’s a school principal) on financing their students’ lesson modules (they needed more paper so the donation was going to be used to buy more paper). That felt good.

August 3. Started obsessing on Dear Evan Hansen. I mean come on. HOW COME I ONLY KNEW OF THIS NOW?!?! The story, the acting, the soundtrack... it felt like I asked the Lord for a musical for me and he gave this on a silver platter.

August 9. Lasagna, baked sushi, lechon belly, pansit, cake. Weird combination, I know, but that’s me!

August 11. Discovered the Slowly app. Changed my life since then! I’m not even exaggerating. I guess it has to do with feeling extremely lonely amid the pandemic and getting this platform where you can talk to literally anyone while still keeping your anonymity. And it strips you off of instant gratification you’re so used to because you actually have to wait for your letters to be sent and to arrive. A great exercise for patience if you ask me! And since you have to wait, you make your letters longer and more worthwhile. It’s a platform free of judgment which relies heavily on building actual mental and emotional connections. It’s a gift, truly. NOT EXAGGERATING; YES I’M THAT LONELY.

August 23. The house search continued. This time, the South!

August 24. It was my first time watching a Korean drama and I gotta say I get the hype now. Korea makes great stories and they take their time when telling these stories. The story centering about mental health was definitely what got me to try watching It’s Okay to Not Be Okay, but the show’s so much more than that. That was a great watch.

SEPTEMBER. Finally some light?

September 1. Second year anniversary. I still really miss her.

September 5. My cat’s 5th birthday! Of course we had to celebrate for her with baked macaroni and burnt cheesecake.

September 11. Lost uncle. He gave a good fight.

September 19. SENSE8. It’s a show that doesn’t need any explaining. It’s the BEST. I love this cast SO MUCH. I remember thinking if I ever get a tattoo (which is unlikely), I’ll maybe have the title of that Sense8 series finale inked on me. AMOR VINCIT OMNIA. Love conquers all.

September 27. After a series of unfortunate events, we were led to this house on the same village we keep going back to, and the moment we saw it, we were sold. This is going to be our house. And it happened.

OCTOBER. Surprises?

October 6. Hooked up with someone I probably shouldn’t.

October 12. Booked a trip for next year because I’M HOPEFUL AS FUCK.

October 21. Had the best conversation I had in a long time.

October 22. Hooked up with someone I probably shouldn’t.

October 28. Organized a digital event for work. I’m still on the fence whether I’m proud of it or not. It was my first event, and I’ve wanted to do that for a long time. While I enjoyed all the preparation that came with it, from making that tactical marketing plan to coordinating with the organizers and my team, I felt like it was bland. There were lapses here and there and I know that we all tried the best we could, but maybe I just pictured it a little better in my mind? It wasn’t a flawless event and maybe I wanted it to be flawless. But it was fun. I never would’ve imagined me hosting an event, but I did.

NOVEMBER. Decisions.

November 14. So news came and we’re finally moving. The buyer of the condo got approved and it was only a matter of weeks to settle documents and payment and we’re good to go. I had mixed feelings about it. It took me back to that time we started looking for houses. I wasn’t exactly ready to let go of the place I grew with for the past five years. And I wasn’t also ready to let go of the convenience, and the relationships I only have started building with friends I found along the way. But at that moment I knew I had to be happy because they were happy. My family was happy. I knew I have to be happy.

November 21. Started all the packing. Packing meant decluttering and reminiscing, so letting go of more things which was overwhelming at first, but inevitable.

November 23. I had something checked in the hospital, and something happened and it wasn’t supposed to go that way but it did and it was so fucking bizarre lol

November 28. HAPPY MOVING DAY. It’s that day of the year. Stress was off the charts because of the time constraint and frankly, the lack of preparedness. Good thing a few people helped us with the rest of the packing. It was an impossible task for me and my sister alone so we were glad we got all the help we needed. I did most of the heavy lifting, so I had bruises all over my body for weeks, but after all was said and done, it felt surreal. Felt like everything coming full circle. That first night in the new home? I’ll never forget that. That was special.

December. The end of an era.

December 2. I went back to the condo to stay for a few more days. Get to feel the place one last time. Also lost a huge deal at work to a competitor. I usually really get depressed with these losses, but for some reason I felt indifferent about it. I guess it was my mind telling me I’ve mentally checked out of work already? That maybe it is really time to move on to something that’ll make me care about what I do again? Make me feel again?

December 4. Met someone (who we can call the Professor) I’ve been talking to for a while now. We’ve had some really great conversations leading to this night; talks at 3AM that’s kind of liberating? I was upfront about the moving and that I only have a few days left in the place which is probably why it happened. Professor was also upfront about leaving the country in a few months for an opportunity to work and do research in Japan for five fucking years. It was awkward at first; but we eventually warmed up to each other and spent the night together.

December 5. Things escalated pretty quickly. The Professor gave me a shower (that was weird but I was feeling it and I thought it was sweet and sexy?). We cuddled until we slept and there was breakfast prepared when I woke up. I don’t usually get to experience this kind of stuff so I really appreciated that. I was feeling it. I thought I can get used to this! I left the place and was invited back again so I stayed over for another night. We’ve had a few more interesting conversations. I was not expecting some of the things we discussed especially the talk about long-distance relationships. The Professor asked me what I think about it and I was honest; I’m not against it but it’s not something I’ll take a chance on if I wasn’t sure about it. Mantra’s always been connection first before commitment. I’m not the “take a leap of faith” kind-of guy; I needed to be sure. Or at the very least be really mentally and emotionally connected with the person. I thought that made perfect sense. I still do.

December 6. So it was finally goodbye. Me and my sister went to the nearest church to donate a few clothes and shoes and to attend a mass. Bid farewell to the Professor too and promised each other to keep in touch. I also had an awkward encounter with my sister’s “friend” who she sneaked in the condo for God knows what for. Pretty sure they did the nasty.

December 13. We went to our old house (the one I spent my younger years in) to get a few stuff for the new house. I only really wanted to get my old bicycle because I want to be biking regularly for the next year. I want to take that fitness journey seriously! So I got the bike and I got to spend some time with some childhood friends. Good stuff.

December 15. A teammate resigned at work. The funny thing is he did it after getting that 13th month bonus HAHAHA! I can’t blame him though after learning about the salary he gets when he’s performing three functions in the team. That’s insane. But it really made me wonder: am I still in this for the long haul? Or do I move on too?

December 17. So I had my work desk and wardrobe delivered. Felt so nice buying things for my room!

December 19. We got a new dog! Another French Bulldog. He’s pretty sweet. Someone’s not happy! (MY MOM)

December 22. And then this happened. We were supposed to meet after my dentist appointment (which I only used as an excuse to meet and I thought that was obvious) but the Professor never showed up. I waited for FIVE FREAKIN HOURS. I had like clothes with me because we agreed I sleepover but FUCK. Good thing a friend kept me company, but that was horrible. I thought YOU NEVER DO THAT TO ANYONE. I deserve better.

December 24. We had our house blessed. It was all super spontaneous; we invited a few friends and relatives over and had an intimate gathering. Mom got emotional (AGAIN).

December 27. So Ms. Preggy (from February - oooh that rhymed) had her son baptized. Since she lives a little father from the city, we decided to have a little staycation with some friends there too. The-Now-Bestie and Work Son was there, and we had beer and homecooked food and a slew of great conversations to cap off the year.

Also December 27. I knew I needed to get something off my chest. And I just had to say it.

“You’re so unfair. You shouldn’t have done that. Gave me false hopes. Gave me a “3-day trial period” only to disappear without any warning. Made promises you never intended to keep. You could’ve just told me you’re not interested anymore and I would’ve been fine with that but instead, you ghosted me. For the past few weeks since that weekend, it never seemed like you wanted to get to know me better. Or even just keep the communication going. It’s been one-sided and I wonder: has it always been this way? Maybe I’m remembering things differently. I told you I like you and I meant that. I’m still wrapping around my head why and how it happened to be honest. Maybe it’s that weekend? Maybe it’s the conversations leading up to when we first met? I don’t know. But things changed after that and I should ask you for an explanation but it’s really not the point. The point is I thought we can work something out and you hurt me. You may feel like you’re running out of time because of Japan but it’s no excuse to do that to anyone, really. You seem so sure about what you want so I hope you get whatever that is. Merry Christmas. Thanks for the memories.”

That was intense.

December 28. The Professor responded. “I apologize... I am getting attached... I had to “ponder on its implications to me in the long run”... I decided to slow down... It hurts... “That weekend that we met felt like I knew you before”... I am afraid... “You have no idea how hard it is to leave everything behind every 4-5 fucking years not because I wanted it but because I have to”... I still hope to continue whatever we have... “I will always remember you. Please don’t forget about me.”... YADA YADA YADA.

I know. You know me. I try to empathize as much as possible. But I mean, come on. These are things I already know. It’s not what I needed to hear.

December 31. I needed to say something one last time. There’s already a lot of uncertainties in the world with COVID and life and everything else. I knew I needed answers; I want the binary. I want the black or white for this one. I’m not taking the gray with me next year. So I asked the following questions:

“What do you want from me? Do you want to be friends? Or we stick with occasional catching up on Viber every once in a while (because that’s what it sounds like to me)?”

“What do you want to get from your last two months here? What are you looking for? Just make the most “fun’? Or look for something that will stick?”

“Have you told me anything you really didn’t mean?”

“That one time we talked about long-distance, were you asking me?”

Fast forward to now: I never got the answer I needed. I guess this is one of those rare occasions where no answer is the answer. And after a few weeks of contemplating about it, I am leaving it behind in 2020.

I’m actually at peace with that.

So there you have it. The suck-fest that is 2020. The first month of the new year wasn’t so bad. I feel this great energy. This year’s going to be different. I did tell you that this letter’s perfect timing. That’s because I’ve resigned and I’m moving on. A friend told me a while ago that he’s proud of me for finally taking action. The 2018 version of myself wouldn’t have done what I did and he was happy for me. I wanted a clean slate and I took it. That I was finally taking ownership of my life.

I was elated. My friend usually spoils me with compliments and encouragement and my ever reliable negative self-image tend to disagree with him but for the first time in a very long time, it felt right. I’m not usually excited for New Years, but I guess I am?

I say bring it on, 2021.

Until then,

Patheticwithanem

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kireihan · 4 years

Text

[Ficlet] bastard flirting

ship: solomon x horizon

word count: 911

summary: What happened before Han Solo became a thing

-------------

THEY WERE at eachother’s throats lowkey ngl

Hori was like “hello dude you’re good looking at all but you’re hella shady i don’t like you”

“Bitch”

I ACTUALLY DONT KNOW MUCH ABOUT SOLOMON SO might be ooc but whatever

Teachers shipped them so they kept being assigned together for projects and pe class

And solomon is a really annoying flirt. Bastard flirt.

Aka he would “fall” on top of her and be like “aha oops” and get up and hori knows full well it was on purpose but the bitch won’t admit it

RIVALS TO LOVERS OKAY

Who fell in love first?

Solomon

I almost wrote colon someone help

Now one may ask, “yo if the dynamic was like a little wonk how did they spark that romance?”

Thats a dumb question have you not seen the sexual tension mY GOD

But i do have an answer for you, the answer was classic fantasy novels!!

Despite “hating” each other, they were still pulled together by ancient magical blood

ANOTHER TROPE I LOVE OK

This is also like Dom x Dom so this will be interesting gjhfjdkl

Hori has really nice pencils so Solomon would do annoying things like steal them during class or write dumb things + notes in pen on her paper

Solomon once held one of her books hostage above her head (satan is that you) and was like “ahahaha a feisty girl i like it” back at it again with the bastard flirting

“Feisty eh?” bam solomon isn’t sure if he can have children anymore but Horizon is marching away with her homework book looking quite pleased with herself and that’s when Solomon’s heart did a flip

Are you a masochist too damn smh

ANYWAYS

This dynamic continues and it’s like really aggravating for everyone because first we have mammorons with their tooth rotting ness and now this new ship that has enough sexual tension and pheromones for asmodeus to go apeshit

It’s cold and Horizon would steal Solomon’s hat and wear it and Solomon would be like “damn bitch give it back” and she’d be like “lmao fuck off”

Honestly despite looking like they hate each other’s guts, THEY’RE NEVER FUCKING APART

It’s almost as if,, they’re going out of their way to go see/annoy the other person hiNtHiNt

Hori is usually really lax with her uniform while Solomon is lowkey more stuck up about following it

“Why do you wear your uniform like that?”

“Do you have a problem?”

“Loosen up a bit”

So she reaches over the table and fucking undoes Solomon’s tie thing and the top few buttons “see just loosen up it wont kill you to air out sometimes”

We all know you just wanna see some wizard collarbone

But still hot and Hori was like “oh no what is this feeling” after seeing slightly disheveled looking solomon bc he fought back

WHATS WITH THE TENSION STOP IT

Now im sure yall have been waiting for this

How and When did they get together???

Well actually it was this:

Horizon was being teased by a demon, doing the same thing he did before with the book holding except this demon was an incubus which is already spelling not good

“Aww what’s the matter? I thought you usually liked this kind of treatment”

Needless to say Horizon is not pleased and is ready to fight a bitch because we aren’t going weak damsel in distress here

Solomon was going to just go by since he was like “whatever im supposed to hate her” but news flash you don't you’re just deceiving yourself

Anyways Horizon decides to bastard flirt back(hmm i see you learned from someone) and the incubus is quite intrigued/happy so he thinks she’s interested so he starts leaning down

Hori fucking knees him in the gut once he’s low enough and grabs her book back

Get fucked sexual harasser smh

With a hmph, she kicks him again for good measure before walking away

But guess what, demon is mad and when he recovers he starts to go after hori but in bloodlust not lust lust

Horizon looks around to see demon about to attack her and that’s when Solomon steps in. since Solomon is a powerful sorcerer, and the demon was rather lowly so it’s an easy take out

And horizon was like “what the heck i had it all under control” and Solomon was like “yeah i know, i saw” but they both know that he just happened to have the upper hand with knowing magic

“So it’s only good if I do it?” and Horizon is like “bitch your audacity-” and he’s like, “I think I’d prefer it if only I do it too.” and horizon is like “hello?? What??”

Oops accidental confession and Solomon is like fuck it we’ll just say it since asmodeus already called me out on it earlier

And horizon is like,, “ffffffffffhgfkdhslh fine whatever i like you too eventhough you’re an annoying dick” and he’s like “as long as I can keep mine”

Just kidding

Not really

So now they’re like kinda together

AND SOLOMON DECIDES TO TEACH HER MAGIC AND SWORDSMANSHIP SO SHE CAN DEFEND HERSELF SINCE HE CANT BE AROUND ALL THE TIME LIKE SOME ANIME PROTAG AND HE STANS A STRONG WOMAN THAT DOESN’T ALWAYS NEED A MAN NEXT TO HER

Does the quarreling get any better?

No it doesn’t it’s the same and the tension is through the roofs

#Obey me #Han Solo #Solomon #Horizon #Fluff #rivals to lovers #Ficlet

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evilispretty-dead · 5 years

Text

So roommates part 22

On set it was all fun and games and Marco and Alex’s was back to messing about with water as they was waiting to film there was a lot of fucking up with lines on the run though and lot of braking anyha didn’t know how she was going to make it through the day “ok guys now that we done the walk through action in 5” with that they all got back in their places but before action was called anyha gave David a hug “ all in girl” he said as he looked at her “ yes all in” then action was called.

Seance

The brothers and harald and Halfdan sat in the hall as they was eating the dinner, it was just them as most of the men was outside or sat in the smaller hall . The doors to the main hall was pushed open with some power and they all looked as Freya walked in and she was pissed off “next time he tries that I will have his balls , I will let him of this once as he didn’t touch her but if I find out he has he a dead man” she was talking to someone that was still out side of the hall “yes my lady” “see to it that she is ok and see to him Hildr” Freya walked over to the table and sitting down she had sat herself between Sigurd and hvitserk, a salve place a bold of food in front of her , bjorn just looked at her “fraye” she looked up at him “what was that about” she tilted her head “nothing just one of your men don’t know to keep his hands of one of my young selves , so I have sent Hildr to send him a warning” she when back to eating her food .

Sigurd though this would be the right time to wide ivar up about the fact that he could have sex “ so ivar does your prick really work or did you a Freya make a deal that she would fake it for you” Freya look at him from the side of her eye then looked over to ivar “Sigurd what do you know what Freya can and can’t do” Sigurd smirked “so it true that she faked it as she fucked you , your prick didn’t make her cum” with that fraye stopped eating and slowly stood up “Sigurd” ubbe waned him but he didn’t listen “you see ivar you infected her and that why she had that bad fit, your sickness got to her” ivar leaned in to say something but as he spoke Sigurd head was lamed in to the table , he slowly bring his head up he was thrown backwards and soon fraye was upon him , her legs was at the sides of his ribs pulling a blade from between her chest “you call me a liar?” She put the dagger to his neck , Sigurd just looked her in the eyes “Freya get off me” she put a little bit of preacher on the blade “Sigurd it is my Hohner you are questioning and not ownley are you questioning ivar s” she hissed in his ear , she pulled back the blade from his neck and putting it back down her top then landing a hard punch to the side of his face “you words will get you killed” racing to her feet she stepped on his chest to step over him .

Not one of the said a thing to stop her as they had not seen her that mad and she didn’t normally lash out , ubbe was at the side of Sigurd to pull him up to sit up “fucking bitch” Sigurd growled under his breath and with that the dagger that she just put back down her top was thrown between his legs close to his balls “bam the gods wanted me to miss” she walked out of the hall .

Ubbe look back at bjorn to see what he thinks about it all but ivar look worried him more he was pissed off but looked hurt “well bjorn I see you have your hands full with her” harald said taking a bite of of the chicken leg he was eating grinning about seeing that darker side to Freya “she will be a good ride tonight with that much anger in her” he laughed again out of the side of harald eye he watched as ivar pushed away from the table and drag his body out of the hall , bjorn just looked at him and then shook his head “enjoy I must go see to my queen” ubbe and hvitserk looked at each other “but” hvitserk said it was ubbe that piped up “ it messy” ubbe said change the conversation back to their next moves and talked about how bjorn want to got back the the Middle East.

Bjorn made his way through the cold halls to find fraye looking in almost every room she maybe hide in but he couldn’t find her in the castle so he walked out to the courtyard and over by the far side was someone tending to one of the houses “Freya” he watched her stop what she was doing , her hand stopped in the middle of the House back but the cared on , bjorn was Standing behind her his hands when to her hips “I know your mad” she stopped what she was doing again but the time she turned around to look at him “ am more then mad I wanted to kill him” “I understand” she hit his chest “no you don’t , you don’t get it it my Honour that his be questioned and he being a monster to ivar” all the time she said this she was hitting him on his chest bjorn just let her “it is what brothers do” he shocked her hair as he spoke “maybe but he taking it to far” bjorn pick her up “no bjorn I don’t want to” she moaned as his hands needed at her ass “you need to let this anger go and I think my cock will be the best place for you to” bjorn started walking back to the halls of the castle making his way back to the bedroom that he has made his, the hole time he was walking with her in his arms he was needed ing at her ass and nipping at the skin on her neck making more moans fall from her swollen lips “b bjorn” “shhhh let me” he had her present up against the door to his room meaning that he could have one hand wander her body , a small gowl came from Freya as his hands brushed passed her breasted and down to her hip bones “bjorn don’t mess with me” she kissed down his neck this time getting a moan from him as he pushed the door open stepping inside he kicked the door shut behind them.

The kissing didn’t stop when he put her on the bed Freya pulled at the lacing in his top so that she could pull it over his head and he undid the lacing of her underbust so that he could take it off her body his hands was under the top that now was hanging of her slim body , he pushed the fabric up her chest so that he could see her body , the way the fire light danced over her skin made bjorn just want to kiss her all over he dropped to his knees leaning into kiss her chest moving down her tummy “I have miss you body” moving back up he sucked on her nipple , Freya couldn’t hold back the moans and moaned bjorn name ... his arms wrapped around her body so that he could pull her closer to him .

Bjorn pushed Freya back so that she was laid on the bed but her hips was on the edge of the bed , bjorn undid her trousers pulling them down her long legs nipping along her legs taking them of her , Freya pop up on her elbows so that she could see what bjorn was up to. Her breath stopped in her throat as she looked at him all the feeling she had locked away from him since she had call it off with him came rushing back to her “this is wrong your just using me to get your cock wet” she said as her hands went in to his hair as he climbed up her legs stopping just at her core liking his lips as he saw how wet she was “no my love I want to help you out” his hot breath ghosted over her wet core making her moan and fall back on the bed “am not” bjorn stopped her talking by liking her core just ever so lightly making her head fall back to the bed “by the gods” she whispered bjorn smiled at this “ I not touched you yet and your so wet for me” he placed her legs over his bored shoulder doing this it made him closer to her core “shut it ironside” he looked at her as he let his tongue drag up the lips of her veginer making her hiss “if I shut it I can’t do that” he liked her again earning a lowder moan .

Bjorn smiled as he looked over her body watching that was her breath was heavy with lust and lust for him this made him smile more “bjorn” her hands was back in his hair and she was pulling him so that he would be over her body , her eyes was darkened with lust she kissed at his neck and nipped at his skin that she could get to “yesss little love” bjorn growled back at her , her hands was at his his and she was trying to pull his trousers down “no no love it all about you” “if you keep stalling am going to jump you and ride you no matter what” her hands was now rounded his neck .. he watched her face and could see that she was not far from coming “you!” Bjorn was shocked as Freya pushed him in the right place so that she was now on top of him , her hands snaked up his arms so that she had hold of his hands holding them in one hand she tied them up with the other with the leaver cord that was on the Bedbord making sure that they was tight on his wrists “now listen here ironside you will be quiet and let me do as I please” she got of him and walked to the end of the bed and undid his trousers pulling them off his legs. Bjorn just could watch and he couldn’t do a thing , he had heard stories about when she is fighting she is unstoppable but he had never been this close or seen her look more sexy in her life , Freya had always been quiet and loving and almost never shown her anger but now she was angry but there was something else in her eyes “fraye” bjorn spoke softly but it was like she didn’t hear him as she climbed up on to the bed again her hands was on his legs massaging them “shh just enjoy” she whispered as she got to his cock she gave it a quick lick. Bjorn pulled cat the cores that was wrapped around his wrist as he wanted to touch her but the wound give so they was still holding strong.

Fraye looked at him as she sucked on his cock claiming over his hip and resting his cock at her core she slowly sat down on his his cock they both moans in raw pleasure, as they came together as one she rocked her hips moaning more soon she picked up the speed of her hip and the bounce she had going on all bjorn could do was moan and groan at her as this was the first time she was incontrol in the bed room and he was loving it , her hands snaked around his neck and sinner smile flashed over her face “I could of killed him” she pushed down with each word “I wanted to so so bad” she fucked hima bit harder her hands went from his nick and went to the lever that was tied around his wrist she looked him the eyes she had a sad look on her face .

Bjorn pulled her into a kiss as he fuck holding her to his casted “fuck” she moan

#so roommate #part 22 #ivarxco #ivar lothbrok #alex hogh andersen #fanfic

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attack0npotato · 6 years

Text

listen up guys

Oi guys, if you’ve got a sec i need to show you this.

See this??

The Story of Lizzy and Darcy is the most beautiful and heartwarming damn thing i’ve read in a long ass time. Its a modern day wlw retelling of pride and prejudice, and before i start, ive got some stats to add for you.

time to read: about 8 hours, no stops man i was ride or die once i started Seating locations: 4, i could not put this mofo down, i went from sunshine to couch back to sunshine to bed panadol because my dumb ass thought binge-reading in varying light with out my glasses on for hours on end was a good idea: 4 amount of hugs i want to give Grace Watson for writing this fluffy and angsty and mushy and warm story: all of them. all the hugs

buckle up bitches we’re in for a ride. this story has pretty much everything. I’ll try to keep it mostly spoiler free

Brown characters? hell yeah you got Bingley, you got Darcy and Jordan Lesbian characters? Bam take Lizzy Bi Characters? Bam Darcy A++ Allies? Boom Charlotte, Bingley, Jane, jordan, cinnamon rolls, all of them. probably Collins too fuck idk Ace Characters? You fuckin bet (Thank you so much!) Trans Characters? Yes we do (it also explores the characters transition/coming out story) -Angst? Yes! -Fluff? HELL YES! -Romance? Bet your fuckin first born. -Drama? bet your second. -love at first sight? Sure why not. -Enemies to disgruntled associates to reluctant friends to eventual lovers? Sign me the heCk up. -Happy ending where no one dies? Sell your soul son, its got that too. shit im sure i even missed some im that damn excited rn

Even better is it focuses on the importance of HEALTHY relationships with others and with yourself

Its got coming out experiences that broke my heart and stitched it back together, i mean hell, when I was 17 I was mark, only i was telling myself those things. its got supportive families, supportive friends, (also unsupportive which creates an important contrast in the narrative) It discusses abusive friendships, the difference of lust vs love, it highlights the importance of communication in a relationship, of offering those you love and care for unconditional support, but not allowing that care to be taken advantage of. there is so much love and validation in this book im surprised i wasnt a mess of tears as i turned the final page

Hell its even got room for some straight couples too.

Most importantly, Grace is explicit in her representation. You arent grasping at straws and tin hats to find a piece of yourself in this book, and she does it so well. its not overbearing or unnecessary, like each ‘coming out’ is relevant to the plot and moves it forward, almost as if they are real people, with pasts and with real lives that interact and influence each other. And each rainbow character is real and important to the plot, they drive the story and are unapologetically real and valid. like you can feel the respect and love Grace has for her creation and characters in her writing, the thought and blood, sweat and tears that went into making it.

if you asked me before i read this book, i’d freely tell you i’m not a romantic, i do not have a romantic cell in my body. i hate most romances, theyre cheesy or too focused on the sexual aspects or just plain rubbish youve read and seen a thousand and one times. and if i said that now.... well now i’d be a dirty fucking liar.

And if none of that is enough to convince you to give this book a go, Lizzy is snarky and far funnier than she’d ever say out loud. Her tone is brilliant and i might have laughed far more than warranted at her quip about her half glass of wine definitely being a glass half empty.

if you’re still not convinced, idk what to tell you man not even the firey pits of tartarus could melt that frozen heart.

Side noteeeee: I’d really like to thank @fangirltofangod for pointing me in the direction of @gracewatsonauthor with out you i’d have never found this beautiful story. Honestly, its only the second book ive found with quality ace representation and that means more to me than i could possibly say. you are both amazing people and i can never thank you enough for this.

I already linked in the title, but just in case you can get it on amazon for kindle or as paperback

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asthora · 6 years

Text

The Last Dance

The Courier and Benny have their final face off and there’s only so much room for ambition in New Vegas. Eventual Courier x Benny.

Crazy.

Goddamn mother-fucking crazy.

Benny doesn’t know if he means himself or the broad bathed in blood who’s just smashed in a Legionnaire's head with the heel of her boot. God, he thinks he fucking loves her.

Ha, love!

He’s confusing love for lust. He does that often. Once, he thought he loved a hooker but when he realized he remembered every detail about her tits, but not her name, he threw the notion of love out the window. This is similar. He knows the courier’s tits too. Saw them a couple of nights ago in his suite. Thought he would never see them again but hey, he’s thinking he might have a chance at round two if she decides to let his mangy ass go free.

A fucking pipe dream.

The courier empties a clip then uses the butt of her rifle to break one guy’s jaw then another poor soul’s nose. Her companion, a man with a buzz cut who screams NCR even without the stupid beret, finishes them off with a few efficient shots to the gut. Benny has never seen so much blood in his life. Something about it is arousing. ��Or rather, watching the courier do her dance of death is arousing. The bodies, the blood, the severed limbs, it’s somehow just the right background for this celestial wasteland bitch.

How can this be the same gal he ravaged in his bed a few nights ago? He wonders if he made it up. A dream he conjured. No, he couldn’t have. The image of the courier laid out across his bed like a four course meal has been the only way he’s been able to survive the fucking nightmare he’s endured in this camp. That night was real, just like this impossible slaughter is real.

He’s wandered into the world’s best show. A front row seat to the showdown of the century. She unceremoniously beheads Caesar. Takes a fucking baseball bat to his head like it’s 2077. A home fucking run. Then his goddamn lapdog, Vulpes, the most evil son of a bitch from here to New Vegas and back, is just laid out like a nice steak, butchered and bloodied and fucked over until he’s ground brahmin and the courier is standing over his body triumphantly.

Benny can’t believe he bagged this broad.

She’s a nightmare. A daydream. A scourge on this earth and she isn’t finished purifying the desert just yet.

The courier moves on, leaving the confines of the tent while he stays put on his knees, tied up like slaughterhouse brahmin waiting for the send off.

“Christ,” he says under his breath.

Off to the side, the severed head of Caesar is looking back at him with wide, startled eyes. What a sight. Any other day he would rejoice, the great Caesar is dead! But he’d like to rejoice in the comfort of The Tops or at least somewhere that isn’t the dying black heart of the Legion.

He waits patiently, because that’s all he can do. He listens to the sound of bullets flying and grown men screaming. He wonders about the logistics of taking out the entire Legion camp, something the NCR has been wanting to do since the skirt wearing assholes plopped down across the Colorado. He guesses it all came down to the fact that she had the balls where the NCR’s turned blue. Then it helped that she had the jump on them. She had Caesar's trust. Never did the wrinkly old bastard think that a woman could send him flying from his pedestal. Maybe that was all she needed.

A risky move, one Benny isn’t sure he would make, but he trusts the courier to do things right. She has more luck than Lady Luck herself. She’s also batshit crazy.

He’s beginning to wonder if the crazy broad is ever coming back when a weird silence settles over the camp. There isn’t even any pathetic moaning of survivors. The bitch killed them all. He laughs into the void.

Dead!

The flap of the tent rustles and Benny straightens and lifts his chin, as if that’s going to help him look any more authoritative while he’s down on his knees like a New Vegas tramp. He supposes he should have taken this time to think of how he could convince her to let him live. But, the time has passed, and he blames dehydration and an empty stomach for the poor judgement call.

He’s as good as dead.

The courier walks towards him. She takes big strides, walks with shoulders thrown back and her chin held high as if she’s going somewhere important. She crouches right in front of him, so close he could count the freckles that pepper the bridge of her nose if he was so inclined.

“So pussycat,” he says. “What’s next?”

She cocks her head and gives him a shit-eating grin. If he was nervous before, he’s sweating bullets now. To think just seconds ago he was pondering walking out of this camp a free man. The look in the courier’s eyes is downright devilish.

“I didn’t really plan this far,” she answers. A lie. Of course she did. She’s like him, she sees all the angles and plans appropriately. She knows exactly what she’s going to do and she’s gonna let him sweat over it for a few minutes.

“Time keeps on ticking, babydoll. If you don’t make up your mind soon, we’ll be dancing in the dark.” He laughs, but it sounds brittle and forced. Fuck. Charming his way out of this one is out of the question.

She laughs too. “I like the dark.”

The courier stands up and puts a hand on her hip. She’s wearing next to nothing, ripped jeans and a white tank top that has a few holes and more than one blood stain. How is she not dead? Maybe it’s all the crazy in her that keeps her kicking. If two bullets to the noggin can’t send her off, the Legion can’t touch her. She’s goddamn immortal and he doesn’t have a chance up against her.

“I get it pussycat. Fair is fair. And eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. I deserve the worst,” he says. Trying to woo her cold cold heart with pitiful moaning isn’t his best card, but doesn’t have the ideal hand to work with. He’s going to count his blessings and remember she didn’t stick him with that switchblade she had stuffed in her bra the other night. She’s had the chance to kill him. Or maybe she was just waiting for this moment.

She raises an eyebrow. “So you’re ready to die?”

“Well,” he gives her his slickest smile, the one that makes broads collapse into his arms. “I wouldn’t say ready. Just accepting and thanking god above that a barn-burner like yourself is the one to bump me off and not some common wasteland fink.”

“You know how to charm a girl, Benny.” She deadpans.

“It’s a talent, what can I say?”

She lets out a long sigh. He can tell she’s thinking, but he isn’t sure about what. Which way to kill him perhaps? Is she considering crucifixion? He wouldn’t put it past her. But maybe, the cross isn’t her style. A good throat slash perhaps, or maybe she wants to send him out the same way he tried to kill her. Bam bam.

He wishes she would just do it so he wouldn’t have to keep waiting. He’s been on his knees for so long that his legs have gone numb. The first few hours were torture. He felt every grain of Mojave sand through his slacks, biting his skin and eventually making him bleed. He doesn’t feel anything anymore, wishes that the feeling would extend to his racing heart and sweaty armpits. He wishes she would just kill him so the fear would go away. He hates fear.

But she doesn’t seem to want to get the show on the road because she just stands there. She looks at him for awhile. She chews on her lip. Circles him, running a hand through his greasy hair. He would like it if she wasn’t tearing at the roots. At one point she stops and starts cleaning the blood from her fingernails with water from her canteen and a decently clean portion of his dusty checkered coat. Benny wants to fucking scream.

“Pussycat-”

“No,” she says. “Don’t speak. I’m enjoying the silence.”

She goes back to her circling. This time she has a knife. Sometimes she pokes him with it. Gentle, not hard, just enough to sting but not enough to draw blood. He knows he’s being teased. Oh, she is a nasty one. Every single jab chips away at his oh so holy pride, his carefully crafted cool cat image. The bitch knows where to hit him where it hurts and he isn’t sure if he should applaud her or fucking lunge and try to rip her throat out with his teeth.

Woah. Slow down there Benny-boy.

What a thought. What a very tribal thought.

Goddamnit, she’s wearing him down. He has to focus.

But he’s tired, dehydrated, and he’s pretty sure he has a concussion from all those beatings the Legion so kindly gave him. And she keeps going and going and going. When he think she’s going to stop, she doesn’t. He’s a doormat. The courier wipes her boots on his slacks, spits in his hair, prods his bruises until he makes unholy noises.

Fuck he hates her. He loves her.

At one point, her companion, the NCR fuck with the stupid hat, comes in to check on her but she waves him away and keeps up her torture. Isn’t she afraid of Legion reinforcements? Doesn’t she want to get out of here? Move on with her life and leave him bleeding into the desert like the rest of her enemies?

Benny tries to think of it in a good light. He’s the worst of the worst. Her number one bad guy. He’s getting the star treatment. Caesar wasn’t important enough for her to kick and toss around in the dirt. He should feel flattered. That helps prop up his ailing ego a bit. He holds onto that as she slaps him. Once, twice, ow.

She crouches in front of him again. She’s even closer this time. Like really close, like oh boy, he can smell her. Fuck. Her baby blues are shining like neons. She smells like sweat and blood and gunpowder. A heady blend of the wasteland’s choice aromas. She smells like Boot Rider, looks like New Vegas.

“I think I’m done,” she says. “I’m getting bored. You aren’t mouthy today, Benny. I’m disappointed.”

He gives a tired smile. “Sorry, honeybaby. You caught me on a bad day. Blame the concussion and the broken ribs.”

The courier pats him on the shoulder. “You’ve been a good sport, Benny. The best out of this whole goddamn game.”

“Well now I’m flattered, baby. You’ve been 18 karat yourself, a real gasser.” He says.

“Ready for the send out?” She whispers.

“Endsville, next stop.”

The courier smiles and runs her finger along the rusted blade of her knife. So she’s going with the classic hack and slash. Here she is again, catching him off guard. What a broad.

He thinks about closing his eyes but he ain’t a fink. He squints a little instead. He doesn’t want to seem too eager to meet the executioner’s axe. She leans in closer, closer, closer. The edge of the blade is up against his throat. It’s warm like it’s sucked up some of the Legion blood and now has a dark heart of its own.

He waits.

Any minute now.

Tick tock.

Why the fuck is she taking so long?

The courier lowers her blade and the rope around his wrists suddenly falls into the dirt. Is this a joke? He looks down at his bleeding wrists and flexes his fingers. They’re stiff. The blood rushing back into his hands is painful and his vision goes blurry for half a second. He isn’t sure if he should rejoice just yet. What if this is a trick? Another cruel torture device? He watches her carefully as she reaches behind her and pulls out Maria.

Fuck. Maria.

His number one broad. His companion. His first love.

She sets it before him gently as if she were setting down a puppy. The courier looks up at him.

“I can’t fucking kill you. I would like to but it just doesn’t feel right. You deserve worse than death. Life will fuck you over more than I can.” She says.

“You letting your number one most wanted walk free?” He can’t believe it. He just can’t. The bitch is crazier than he thought! He was ready to die and now he gets to live? No, this isn’t how this works. This isn’t how the law of the wasteland goes. Like he said, and eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. That’s how it goes here, that’s how it’s always been. Even in Vegas.

The courier smiles. “You’re a fucking prick and I hate you with every fiber of my being. I’ll kill you one day but it isn’t today.” She throws her canteen at his feet and stands.

“So this is it? You just gonna let me go free?” He says, clumsily grabbing Maria and checking the clip. One bullet.

She bites her lip. “Free is a relative term. I have one rule. You can’t come to Vegas. You step one goddamn foot across the line and I’ll blow you sky high.”

His heart drops to his stomach. His golden city gone. His goddamn home snatched away like a child’s toy. Benny grinds his teeth together. Would it be a waste to put this one bullet in her head?

Yes.

There isn’t going back to Vegas, something told him that the moment he left the courier naked and asleep in his bed. Once he crossed into Legion territory, once his plans reached the ear of the Chairman via the courier, there was no way he could walk back into The Tops without one of his boys blowing his brains out. He went behind their backs, lied to them. He broke rule number one of the Boot Rider code, a code that still hadn’t faded no matter how hard he tried to scrub it out. He’s back to being a wastelander. A wanderer. A nobody. And Vegas? Well, he trusts the courier enough to do the right thing.

“Alright,” he says. “You’ll never see me again. Scramsville here I come.”

“Great! Then we’re finished here. Time to cash out.”

He can tell it gives her great pleasure to say that. The courier slings her rifle over her shoulder, sticks her knife in her boot, and leaves Caesar's tent for the last time. He doesn’t move. He doesn’t know what to do next. All he’s got is a checkered coat, one bullet, a half empty canteen, and the memory of a golden city in the middle of the desert. The courier has taken it all from him. Every moment of pain, every trial, every move he’s ever made has been for nothing.

If Benny were a man of superstition, which is isn’t of course, he would maybe chalk it all up to fate. But fate ain’t a thing. There’s the doing and the done and the rise and the fall and this here is the fall and he’s got no one to blame but himself. A plan ain’t perfect when you fuck up murdering the one person who needed killing the most. So this right here, this whole fucked up situation, the reason he’s on his knees beside Caesar's detached head, is because he couldn’t do it right.

No more blaming the Courier for his mistakes. Time to own up, stop being a fink. Benny knows he could keep crying in the rain over spilled brahmin milk but that’s not the Vegas thing to do, that ain’t the Boot Rider code. So he stands, shakily at first, his knees wobbling like an old man’s and when the world stops jumping and jiving he puts one foot in front of the other, unsure of where he’s going for the first time in his life. Benny walks, his city’s lights forever behind him.

Note: This is the first part of a longer story I’m trying out. There is more just not sure when I’ll post the rest.

#fallout #benny gecko #fallout new vegas #benny x courier #courier 6 #courier #new vegas

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uberff · 7 years

Text

Chapter 10

Robyn

8 Months Later

"Ouch." I hissed as I accidentally stuck myself with the needle I was sewing with. This never happens, so I knew I was hella unfocused. No matter how many times I tried to make these fits, it just wasn't working out for me for the longest.

I needed a break. A break from everything.

I haven't spoken to Jaylen since I cooked for him, which was about a couple of months ago. We had got into it because I was still seeing Kai.

I text him a little while after the incident, and he still hasn't replied. He hasn't even came by, so I just stopped trying. I guess he has other things to worry about like taking care of a baby.

Kai isn't even in the picture anymore. I've cut off all contact with him. I still haven't got my things from his place, but that would just have to wait. I wasn't in the mood to go over there.

I didn't know if he was home or still locked up but I honestly didn't care. He could rot in that shit.

I was hurt that he decided to just tell me that he had sex with Kayla like it wasn't a big deal. I should've went with my gut feeling when I first found out that she was his "assistant". I knew something wasn't right.

I was mad at myself because I may have lost someone very important to me all because I stood by Kai. And that person is Jaylen. I've neglected Jaylen and even Odell, pleasing Kai. I wouldn't be surprised if either one of them wanted nothing to do with me.

"Nigga just come over here, you just stopped coming over like I got roaches or some." I heard Odell say over the phone.

"You probably do." I heard Jaylen say.

"Stop playing foo."

"Aight, whatever here I come."

"Wassup? You straight? Need a hug?" Odell greeted me with a smile on his face. I couldn't help but smile, because I knew O would always be there for me no matter what.

"Yes please." He quickly embraced me in a long, much needed hug. I honestly didn't wanna let go at all.

He knows about what's been going on. I told him every single thing. From Jaylen and I's past relationship, and everything that just went down with Kai. He was upset about Jay and I at first, but he still showed me some support. I feel sorry for Kai if Odell ever sees him.

"You can cry if you need to, I won't let go." He kissed my cheek, and I just pulled away from the hug. I knew I'd start crying and I honestly didn't feel like it.

"That's ok. I'm bout to make a salad. Want some?" I asked as he nodded before going back in the living room because Jaylen had came in. The season was coming up for O, so I was trying to get him to eat as healthy as possible.

"Sup wit you and ole girl?"

"See.. I wasn't really too happy about this baby shit at first but as the days go by, it's hitting me more that I'm really bout to be a daddy so I can't help but get excited. It might be a lil early, but fuck it. We straight though." He looked really happy.

"Hope the baby don't look like you. Wassup with you and my sister though?"

"What?"

"I ain't tripping bro, she told me everything. Why you ain't tell me?"

"Cause it honestly wasn't even a big deal, we was literally just friends. I been trying to get with her fake ass for the longest, but she was forever blowing a nigga off for her punk ass boyfriend. And I find it real funny how she gone try and text me on some sweet shit after her nigga got locked up. Robyn can really kiss my ass."

I needed to leave.

After avoiding Odell and Jaylen, I left the house to go drive somewhere to clear my head. His affection was much appreciated and needed but, I just needed to be by myself right now. It was late, two in the morning and here I was driving on open road; talking to God, to my parents, to myself and I was longing for responses that I couldn't receive.

My mistake was settling for Kai when I saw the signs, I admit that his love or lust, whatever the fuck we shared made my opinions and actions skew in a horrible ass direction. I was ignoring everyone else but him, while he was out fucking his assistant and trying to pick up where he left off with her. I ignored the one person who was literally always there for me. Jaylen. Odell is our common denominator, I was Dell's sister and Jay was his best friend which made it damn near impossible to avoid each other.

I fell in love with his company, despite his smart ass mouth, I fell in love with him without even realizing it. Because of his hard ass demeanor, it was hard to read him. I had no idea if he felt the same way; Kayla being pregnant gave me my answer to the million dollar question. This was all just too fucking much. I'm muhfuckin' tide.

Eventually, I grew tired of driving and ended up on a familiar doorstep. My alternative best friend; we didn't have to talk every day but whenever we linked, it was vibes. Enough to make you forget about anything and that's what I need right now. I knocked and stood there with my arms folded across my chest. When the hell did it get so cold? Minutes passed until I saw some lights turn on. I smiled and waited for him to come answer the door.

"I ain't seen you in a minute and you gon' come knockin' at three in the mawnin', baby?" I shrugged and looked down at my Uggs. He pulled me close to him by my pajama pants and kissed my temple, hugging me tightly. I miss Qua so fuckin' much!

"What's going on, mama?" he whispered, pulling me into his house while locking the doors to my truck outside, activating the alarm.

"Mm? Who fuckin' wit' my one and only?"

I tried to talk but my throat was all sore and fucked up from crying so much. He saw that and tried to calm me down, bringing me over to his couch and putting a blanket over me.

"You gon' let me know wassup or I gotta end every nigga in ya phone for playin' wit' your heart?" I still didn't feel like talking because I would end up crying, trying to go in depth to explain this situation.

"Aight fine," Qua jogged upstairs and came back with a big ass gun and took the safety off, heading for the front door, snatching my phone from me. "Let's start with that football playin' nigga with the Ramen head."

"Qua, stop!" I managed to croak. "Fuckin' talk to me, Robyn. I know it's a nigga that fucked up ya emotions. Talk or I'm sprayin' bout you."

"Sit down." he put the safety back on and went to put his gun back. He returned with tissue and did as I said. I went on to tell him everything. From meeting Jaylen to storming out of Kai's house. The tissue definitely came in handy when I came to the realization of my words. I lost my best friend and boyfriend to the same bitch.

Quavo was silent for a few moments and when I went to say something, he stopped me. "You need peace, baby. Shut the fuck up and rest in it." he cut me off and I sighed and closed my eyes. "I'ma go get some loud. We gon' smoke and watch ya favorite movies and have peace. Gon' be real serene 'round this bitch." I smirked and watched him go upstairs. He's exactly who I need right now.

"Poetic Justice, Brown Sugar, or Love Jones?" he asked and I shrugged, eating from the carton of ice cream in his empty ass fridge. He was always out of town and I caught him a few hours before he was supposed to leave.

"All three, shit. Ain't gon' have you mopin'." he put one in and came to sit next to me and began to roll a blunt. I put my feet on his lap and laid down.

"Lucky you got some pretty ass feet." I smirked and got comfortable. Usually, I would be reciting this shit word-for-word but I couldn't get into it. Jaylen and Kai wouldn't leave my mind. Within each scene, I would pause the movie to bother Quavo with questions.

"Qua, is it my fault that he cheated? I thought we were good. I met his family, we almost collaborated on the business side, I trusted him."

"Ya problem is that you trust niggas way too quick, you wanna be everybody friend. A nigga could walk past you on the sidewalk and bam, you tryna bond and be friends. Niggas got motives, all they need is an easy target." he passed me the blunt and I pulled from it, coughing for a brief moment.

"Easy target?" I mumbled.

"Don't take it to heart, you just too nice. You let shit fly too much and you don't realize it until it's too late. None of my ex hoes could have keys to all my shit, pins to all my accounts, none of that shit, WHILE I'm tryna gain trust of someone else and I claim I love 'em. Nah. Karma a bitch though." He was right.

"As for the other nigga, he ain't realize what the fuck he had. Ya'll could've been somethin', just don't go lookin' for love. Its gon' come."

I sighed. I wish he was there before all of this started. "You nothin' short of a queen, treat yaself like one. Be stingy with ya love, don't go giving that shit out like a hug."

"Can I have one?" I mumbled and he laughed, pulling me up and putting the blunt in the ashtray so I could hug him.

"Shoulda had me there, auditionin' niggas to play a part in ya life."

"I know." I whined against his chest. My eyes got heavier and heavier each second.

"Tired, mama?" I nodded and stretched.

"Get in the guest bed, den."

"Nooo, after the movie."

"We both know you gon' be gone by the time Pac and Janet get acquainted."

He was right.

Jaylen

After reading this bullshit ass letter that I seen on Kayla's table, I was.. I don't even know. There ain't a single word that can describe what I'm feeling.

It was a letter from that nigga in jail. The part that pissed me off was him saying they fucked and the baby she carrying could possibly be his. Who does that shit? I hate a lying ass motherfucker.

I know I wasn't supposed to be snooping and shit, but fuck that. She asked me to look for some papers anyways, and I just happened to see some shit that's important. Part of me felt like choking her, part of me felt like killing her. Just a feeling. I'd never put my hands on a woman.

I wanted to wait until her clumsy ass got out of the shower, but fuck it. I was anxious.

She deserves an oscar. We were just out shopping for the baby and she was acting as if she didn't know. Everything was going good, too.

I went to the cemetery to talk to my ma and everything.

Storming to the bathroom, I opened the door and snatched the curtain back, only for her to scream like somebody was stabbing her. I looked at her body for a second, then snapped out of it.

I wasn't the type to just assume so let me be calm about this shit.

"So... we pinning kids on niggas now?" I asked as her eyebrows came together.

"What?" I started to grow annoyed. I know she heard me loud and clear.

"Man just get out the shower and meet me in the room." I told her before walking out. I plopped down on my King size bed, waiting for her to come out. A couple of minutes passed by, and I felt the bed dip.

"What were you saying?" I held the bridge of my nose, silently praying to God to give me at least one bit of strength.

"Kayla stop playing dumb, that shit gone piss me off. I know you read that fuckin' letter." I gritted through my teeth as she pushed me a little.

"Why were you going through my stuff?!"

"Nigga you told me to find the fucking papers from the doctor in ya bitch ass purse!"

She didn't say anything.

"So you don't know how to talk all of a sudden? Usually you don't know how to shut up."

"Look, Jaylen.. I had sex with Kai a little after the first time we did but that was the only time. So to be honest, I don't know who's the father."

By now I was livid. These hoes is too fucking much. First Robyn, now this motherfucker. How I let this shit happen?

"So why the fuck you get my hopes up like that?!"

"Because I had a strong feeling that it's yours!"

"And I got a strong feeling that you need to get the fuck out my crib and get a fucking DNA test!"

"Jayle-"

"Jaylen nothing bro, get yo ass out." I shook my head, going back in my room and plopping down on the bed. A few seconds later I heard the front door slam and I swear I had the urge to destroy everything in this bitch.

I was mad cause a nigga was honestly excited for possibly no fucking reason. I've missed out on big opportunities trying to help Kayla out and be a good baby daddy. I don't condone domestic violence, but women like Kayla deserve that shit.

I needed to drive.

I had just finished my second blunt of the day, and I was chillin'. I even had some dirty, and I know I shouldn't be driving but fuck it.

I came to a stop as I ended up in front of some Fashion Show everybody was coming out of. It was NYFW. I had heard about it, but I was too busy with my head up Kayla's ass to even think about going.

I called the woman that I was supposed to be picking up, but that shit went straight to voicemail. Just as I was about to call again, the passenger side opened and a woman with Gucci shades and a red pants suit stepped in. She quickly typed her address in the GPS and took off her blazer.

"I suggest you hurry up because there's gonna be so much traffic." She sighed, sitting back and putting her seatbelt on.

I just nodded because I honestly ain't feel like talking. I was just doing this cause I wanted to drive and why not do something that I'm getting a lil extra cash for?

"Where are my manners? How are you today, sir?" She smiled,

"I'd be straight if you stopped talking for just a second." I stated as she scoffed.

She snatched her glasses off before leaning up to take a look at me. I noticed that it was motherfucking Robyn. Why am I surprised? She the only person I know that's always like this. This was like dejavu from the very last time I spoke to her.

*Flashback*

“My nigga, I ain't stutter. Sit back, close ya damn mouth, and put ya fuckin' seatbelt on. Better rate me my five stars too." Putting my car in drive, I peeled away from the curb and blasted some music. The ride was starting to calm me down but Robyn's sensitive ass was gunna bring me back up there again.

"Jaylen." she mumbled, I looked straight ahead at the road and clenched my jaw.

"Jay!" she mumbled a little louder and I sighed, turning the music down.

"Fuck you want? I listen with my ears, not my eyes." I barked. I honestly wasn't even tryna tread soft with her anymore. Yeah, I cared about her more than anybody else in my life except family, but she held a good amount of responsibility that caused the fuckery a while back. Where the fuck was my feelings getting me anyway?

"I haven't seen you in a while. Just wanted to know if you were good."

"I'm still standing." I said simply, following the GPS. It was taking all of me not to stare into her eyes, that's what had me gone when I first saw her.

"How's the painting?"

"Ion wanna talk about it."

"Wh-"

"You don't hear good today? Need a fuckin' Q-Tip? That's what I said man, I don't wanna fucking talk about it."

She got quiet and I looked over for the first time and took in her appearance. She's perfect when she ain't trying but when she get her nails and feet done, hair done, and that face beat? NIGGA. She was every man's dream. Her intentions be good but the way she go about handling situations is hell.

She looked like she wanted to say something again so I just beat her to it. I hated that she always made me have a soft spot for her ass. "What?" I asked and she looked away quickly, with tears welling in her eyes. Man.

"What's wrong?"

"Jaylen, I'm fine." she wiped her eyes carefully with some tissues and coached herself in the mirror. "It's fine."

"Asshole. I feel you though. This whole shit had me on the verge of losing it. It was fuck everybody for a long time, still is."

"Even me?"

"Honestly, yeah. You and me had something lit and you let dick come between us multiple times. I don't wanna lose you but that time away helped. I just can't be as cool wit' you, feel me?"

"I get it. I'm so sorry, Jaylen."

"Yeah, you gotta prove it. Empty ass apologies and promises."

"I'll cook you some din din." she said sweetly and I cringed. Watching The Strange Thing About The Johnson's was one of my biggest regrets. Fuck that movie and Rob for talking me into it.

She was laughing uncontrollably and I smirked. "Whatchu cookin' for a nigga?" I mumbled, stopping at the light and giving her my attention.

"Anything. I highkey miss your energy and your company after long days at work."

"Aight, I'ma end my shift and see what's shakin' at the crib, ain't been there in a minute."

I had a good feeling about tonight. She was single again with no man blinding her vision, still fine as fuck, and still had potential to be my ride or die. We all know Robyn though.

*Flashback Over*

That was before she decided to go keep seeing that nigga when he first got locked up, like a dumbass. I cut her off completely, and here we are now.. 8 months later.

"Jaylen, you're eyes are hella low and redder than my lipstick! Why are you driving?"

Damn I could've sworn my mama died years ago.

"I been doing this shit all day, I know what the fuck I'm doing. It ain't like it matter. I almost died a few months back and you was being fake so don't try to act like you give a fuck now." She looked taken back by my choice of words.

"I don't care?"

"Man I ain't bout to go through this bullshit right now. You not bout to fuck up my high. Shut up."

"Shut up? Jaylen, we haven't talked in almost a year!"

"And I'm doing just fine, Ion need you. There was a point in my life when I didn't even know you and I could go back to that shit with no problem."

"Word?"

"Word."

"Look, just because you finally got some sense and stopped being pussy whipped, realizing that it wasn't your baby... doesn't mean you have to be mad at everyone else."

I started to question how the fuck she even knew that but I was stuck on the fact that she said I was pussy whipped. Says the girl who takes back the nigga that shot her best friend just because he gave her some dick. I ain't ever going out like that, she got me fucked up. First of all, who the fuck was she talking to like that?

We were almost home, I couldn't wait to get out this damn car.

"Oh so you wanna talk about whipped? Don't even get me started on yo dickmatized ass!"

"Dickmatized?" She questioned.

I had parked my car, and got out quick as fuck waiting on her granny ass. I wasn't done with this shit. She blew my High away a long time ago, so I was bout to talk hella shit. "Say what ever else you got to say!"

"Get yo ass out the car, we gone finish this shit in my crib cause I got a lot to fucking say!" I waited for her to go in front of me before shutting the door. Her dumb ass was trying to walk all fast, and since she had on heels she almost fell.

Once we reached the elevator, I immediately pressed the number 2 and waited patiently for the shit to go up. Only reason I wasn't talking shit right now is because we in public. That fight I had with King Kong almost got a nigga put out.

Before the elevator could even open all the way, I stepped off and walked down a lil bit towards the outside of my door. I unlocked the door and waited for her to go in. "Go." I mugged her as she did the same, leading the way to my room.

She plopped down on my bed as I paced back and forth across my room to prevent myself from doing something that I might regret.

"Why'd you bring me here if you weren't gonna say anything?!" She yelled, standing up in front of me.

"Who you yelling at?" I rose an eyebrow standing up, towering her. All of a sudden, all that shit she was talking had went out the window.

"I hate you.." she crossed her arms. She took her jacket off, throwing it on my bed, fixing her hair in the process. I didn't wanna admit it, but she looked good as fuck right now.

"I hate yo ass, too." I sat down next to her. After a while, there was silence between us until we both leaned in for a kiss. In between our long, passionate kiss, her clothes were being thrown like this was a game.

Once her bra was off, I stared at her small perky breast in admiration. Glancing up at her face, her cheeks were rosey red as she shyly let me stare at her. Taking it upon myself, I placed my warm mouth on one of her nipples and began sucking as if I was gone win a prize. Gripping the back of my head, she moaned out in pleasure.

With her nipple still in my mouth, I slowly swirled my tongue around her nipple ring that I was starting to love. Usually I hated them.

Laying her down on the bed gently, she ran her hands up and down my 6 pack. Helping her out a bit, I took my wife beater off for her. Adjusting myself in between her legs, I laid my body flat on top of hers as I began to kiss and suck on her neck.

Finding her spot, I sucked, licked and kissed it like my life depended on it.

“Ooou Jaylen..” Her soft moans filled my ears. Feeling my dick twitch inside my sweats, I felt Robyn's hand come in contact with it. Grunting as she rubbed my it, she slipped her hand inside my pants and slowly made her way inside my polo boxers.

“Gone head.” I assured. Feeling her soft warm hand stroke him slowly, I could tell by her facial expression she didn’t expect for me to be this big.

Smirking at her innocent ass, I kissed her plump lips.

Continuing to stroke my hard member slowly, I continued to let my rough grunts escape my mouth. Tired of having her thinking she was in control, I lowered my body some. Kissing on her stomach, I slowly made my way down to her navel.

”Damn you fine.” I complimented. She giggled. It's crazy how we ain't talked in months, just got into an argument, and now I was about to fuck the shit outta her and teach her ass a lesson.

Getting to the waistband of her panties, I looked up at her waiting on her to go ahead for me to pull them down.

Nodding her head for me to continue, I anxiously slid her panties off revealing her wet glistening pussy. Most beautiful thing I've ever seen. Her shit was gold.

Grunting lowly just at the sight, I could only imagine how she would feel once I was inside. Thinking of her warmth surrounding my dick and her juices dripping down it made dive in head first so I could speed it up. Ready to be inside her, I plunged in and out of her with my index and middle finger while french kissing her clit. Licking, sucking, anything you could think of.

“Fuck, slow down!" She cried out with an arched back. Smirking at pleasing her, I watched with nothing but lust in my eyes as she gripped her right breast in her hand and gave it a hard squeeze.

Going chin deep inside her pussy, my main priority was to make her cum. I knew for sure nobody had ever treated her body like I have just by the way she was moaning and squirming.

Wrapping both of my arms around her thighs, I kept em that way to keep her in place. "Fuck you think you going?"

”Jay, I’m bout to cum!” She yelled out. With my tongue deep inside her and thumb pressed down on her clit, I took my free hand and pushed down on her stomach area. Watching her legs buckle against me, I rubbed her clit fast just in time for her to cum.

Catching her juices with my mouth, she stared at me as she could barely open her eyes while trying to catch her breath. "We ain't done yet. Getcho' ass up." I smacked her thigh with a smirk on my face. We was bout to be in this bitch fucking like rabbits.

By now my dick was hard as a rock and I couldn’t wait any longer to be buried deep inside her. Stripping down to nothing, her eyes instantly dropped down to my dick and her mouth fell ajar.

"Scared?" I smirked. Looking back up at me, she looked surprised. I don't know why she acting like she ain't ever seen it before.

”I don't think I can handle it." Wasn't she just talking mad shit earlier? Like she was big and bad. Where that Robyn go?

“Nah, you bout to take this dick.” I chuckled, stroking my dick a little more, as I slid it up and down her opening. Looking at her for confirmation, she slowly nodded before closing her eyes.

Sliding myself in, she gasped. Grunting at her warmness and tightness, I intertwined my fingers with hers to keep her from running. After a while, I knew the pain had turned into pleasure because all you could hear was the lovely sound of her moans.

Thrusting in and out of her, her sweet moans filled my ears as she begged for me to go deeper inside of her. Fulfilling her fantasy, I pushed myself in balls deep. With her nails scratching my back, it only made me dig deeper and deeper inside of her.

Although I had planned on fucking the life out of her, that plan failed drastically once I felt how warm she was. Just an ounce of warmth had a nigga dick swelling and ready to give her a baby. Looking at the love faces she was making had a nigga weak. Damn she was beautiful.

Going on with this slow shit for little over an hour or whatever, she came 4 times while I nutted twice.

By now, it was time for Daddy to have his fun and show her ass what the fuck she been missing out on. From forever friend-zoning my ass, and always blowing me off for her aint shit ass boyfriend.

Yanking her up by her long tresses, she moaned out loud. I knew she was into that rough shit. Every innocent girl is.

Going over to the bottom of the bed, I lifted her body and brought her closer to the edge. Shoving myself inside her all over again, I began to fuck her shit up with no mercy.

By the way her pussy was wrapped around my dick, I swear it took everything in me to hide the love faces that I was making. She wasn't about to see that shit.

“Fuck..” I muttered as I watched myself slide in and out of her. Calling me daddy over and over, I smirked knowingly before ramming in and out of her.

"Don't stop!" She moaned loudly, and I swear I was bout to bust right then and there.

Rubbing her clit, her head fell back in satisfaction. Not wanting to stay in the same position for too long, I walked us over to one of the many chairs that rested in the corner while I was still beating her shit up. ”Jaylen, it's so big!” she cried out with each thrust I took.

Taking a seat in the chair, she straddled my lap. Adjusting herself, she started to hesitate because of how scary she was. ”Take this shit.” I assured before slamming her down.

”Jay, I can’t!" She whined. Placing her hands on my shoulders, I sat back a lil bit.

Putting my hands behind my head, Rob pushed her own self all the way down with clenched walls causing a quick moan to escape my lips.

Thanking god she didn’t hear me, she closed her eyes and started bouncing up and down like somebody granny.

Sucking my teeth, I shook my head. Placing both of my hands on each side of her hips, I bounced her up and down at a faster pace.

”Damn girl, keep it just like that aight?” Nodding her head I let her hips go and went back to my previous position.

Watching her work my dick like a pornstar sent me over the edge a bit and I allowed some of my cum to spur inside of her. I couldn't help it.

Grabbing both of her nipples, I began to twist them since they were nice and hard. Moaning lowly, she started to slow down and her pants were picking up. ”Don’t fucking stop Robyn.” I spat.

“I’m bout to bust again.” I informed.

Flipping over to where she was now in the chair, I hammered her pussy until I could no longer go. Feeling my dick swell inside of her, that seemed to turn her on because she started cumming all over my shaft.

“Fuckkkk.” I grunted pulling my dick out just in time, nutting all over her stomach. I looked down at her and noticed the tiredness on her face and smirked.

"Goodnight, friend.”

It was going on 12 in the afternoon and I was putting my clothes back on. I was supposed to leave last night but a nigga ended up falling asleep. Big mistake. I was tryna show her who's boss, not the other way around. I couldn't help it, Robyn's pussy was gold. I wasn’t about to feed into her shit though, fuck that.

"Where are you going? Don't go." She mumbled as she started to sit up in the bed. I wanted to laugh. Now she was starting to show some type of emotion? Nah.

"Out." I stated plain and simple as I put my shirt back on.

"No Jay, let's sit here and actually talk."

"I'll see you when I see you, Robyn." I winked at her, before grabbing my keys and leaving.

I was doing her like how she been doing me. It ain't so fun when it's you.

#chris brown #chrisbrownfanfic #cb #teambreezy #soooraven #obj #uber

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dachi-chan25 · 7 years

Text

Game of Thrones Season 7 Episode 6 Recap Pt. 3

WARNINGS:SPOILERS; not a D@€n€r¥$ fan; Jonsa shipper ( I still believe)

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6.- Back on Eastwatch, we have this morons trying to not freeze, too late for Thoros tho, I mean dude was a walking corpse since the Hound had his fire vision, he was completely obtuse for the plot so they got rid of him. I feel nothing. Guess his conversation with Jorah (that I totally skipped cuz boring) was heartwarmming but still I knew he was dead as soon as the bear got him. They burn his body with his own alcohol.

7.- An invitation arrives for Sansa to go to KL, amd she is like LMAO I think no you trick ass bitch, my girl is not an idiot and there is no way in hell she’ll go, if Cersei wants to make her prisioner again she can damn well bring her ass to the North and try, and she sends Brienne in her stead, Brienne doesn’t want to leave her on her own with LF, Sansa has to snap and her and basically throw her on the street to get her to go (god Jon is gonna have a hissy fit when he sees Brienne at KL and knows Sansa is alone at WF with LF) very wise decision knowing LF wanted to get Brienne tagled up on his schemes.

8.- In Dragonstone Tyrion is trying to stop D from going to the rescue cuz he doesn’t want her to die even tho he is fine with the man that volunteered for this stupid ass mission that was his idea dying (consistent characterization where art thou?) but she goes anyway cuz #YOLO

Also this unsubtle shift to white clothes now that she is gonna do an heroic thing, she honestly looks kinda like Elsa from Frozen, where does she get this clothes anyway, did she brought a new wardrobe from Essos? Are the Dothraki sewing and knitting clothes??

Where are the Unsullied and the Greyjoys????

7.- Yeah so they just kinda waiting around for their Uber, but the Hound is taking none of this boring but safe bull, let’s throw rocks at the wights for funnsies. So he does and the wights get angry? Annoyed? Who knows really? And they begin to close in our heroes.

Jon thinks they’re doomed without D’s help but Beric points put that not really (Beric and his sexy ass voice are winning me over)“as long as they kill the Night King everyone else is gonna be detroyed (this sounds waaaaaay to convinient, almost as if d&d want to get rid of the WW as fast as possible so they can focus on the political/human problems) but Jon is not so optimist. So yeah we get some fighting in, and things are beginning to look real bad for the Wight Hunters when boom Khaliisi comes in rising and burning wights (and ice) as she goes! They are saved OMG what a relief! (excuse my sarcastic ass) everyone is getting on the Dragon choo choo, except Jon (guess we’re saving the dragon riding for laters) who keeps on fighting.

Now I guess this is relevant, he thought they were doomed until D arrives, she is burning her way through th wights like you couldn’t believe and Jon is visibly relieved, he is getting the hope that maybe they can win this war, he is clearly trying to fight his way to the NK, I thought he wanted to end it right there, go for the NK and be done with it that is why he refuses to go.

Now his hopes get dashed away when NK throws at spear at Viserion and kills him, now I’m really worried, did I broke something inside me? Why is it that I don’t care? Oh right we never got a scene with Viserion alone, if he had bonded with Jon last episode instead of Drogon (Jon still thought this giant lizards ugly af tho) then Hey maybe I could have cared, but this feels like super dramatic and emotionally manipulative from the writers tbh. I feel the whole purpose of killing him off was to have "Cool Ice Dragon” and for some rushed J/D moment (I have a lot to say about it) D is stunned by grief I guess? Jon gets angry but I don’t think it’s cuz he cared about the dragon or for D, i mean of course he must have felt sympathy for her she stated that she loved them just last episode, but i think his rage comes from the frustration of knowing he can’t end this right now, he can’t prevent more people from dying and now with a dragon in the army of the dead…

So yeah Jon tells them to go away cuz the crazy ass bitch wants to die I guess, and he doesn’t want anymore Dragons joining the wights.

The lake gives away, but Jon comes out of the water freezing to death, the Wights surround him but he is too weak to fight, when BAM! Magical convinient Uncle Ben saves him, Jon is clearly surprised and emotional at seeing the uncle he loved so much and thought to be dead (dammit those Starks are hard to kill) but Benjen is having none of that cuz he has to be a martyr saving your ass Jon! So he gives his stupid ass nephew his horse, Jon gallops away while seeing his uncle dying (OK my emotions are back, I love uncle Ben even if D&D made him this protagonist characters convinient saviour).

8.- Back at Eastwatch, you know the actual castle, D is waiting for Jon looking hopefully at the horizon, while Jorah is trying to save her the heartache (I mean if this had any realism anymore Jon would be totes dead) but here he comes riding and all that jazz.

Before we dive into that scene (you know which) I’d like to stablish some thoughts:

-I believe D’s feelings for Jon are real, but they are not based in real things. First let’s ask ourselves why is she even in love (if we can call it that at this point) with him? She is clearly attracted yes, but Love is different than lust, so yeah he is a great guy I guess? But she hasn’t really seen him at that, everything she knows about him is based on the stuff Tyrion knows about him: his brothers are dead, as well as his father,he was at the Wall, he has a wolf?? I dunno if Tyrion mentioned that cuz the only one who remembers Ghost exists is Sansa, and the mystery about the dagger to the heart. And that’s where I think this fixiation comes from, this man could be her equal he is not afraid of her and stands his ground (on her POV) and maybe he is as magical as she is, Drogon let the man pet him!!!

But what she sees vs what actually is, shows she doesn’t know this man at all, what’s more Jon doesn’t want her to know him.

-She talks to him about her brothers when she is telling him the names of her Dragons, perfect oportunity for Jon to talk about Robb,Rickon and Bran(Jon thought he was dead as well) but doesn’t.

-She is talking about Ned on her big speech on their meeting, yet Jon his biggest admirer didn’t jump to defend his beloved father??

-When she is talking about her Dragons he could have very well mentioned Ghost yet he didn’t

-Davos jumped to defend him, and was telling D all Jon went through but Jon stopped him, she asked directly about the dagger to the heart and he said nothing.

-She was happy for him when he finds out his siblings aren’t dead, but Jon doesn’t show any emotion about it.

-As a matter of fact he never símiles or seems at ease in her presence. Fuck it even jondry has more build up in their two episodes together. Jon smiled at Gendry and talks with him about Ned. (not to mention Sansa, she makes him smile like no other.

It all feels almost like he has no goddamned interest in getting to know her (she is always the one to share this information without him asking) as a person, he doesn’t want her to know him. Why???

Reminds me about this quote:

“When you are attracted to people, it’s because of the details. Their kindness. Their eyes. The fact that they can get you to laugh when you need it the most.”  - Jodi Picoult, Sing You Home

Jon has never laughed or smiled near D, and that's the most telling stuff about this whole romance debacle in my humble opinion.

9.- Boat time! so Jon is just waking up (I knew my son didn't decided for himself to ditch WF and go to KL instead) and D is there (no I was just joking about the Twil1ght and 50s0g last week stop staring at people while they are asleep and shirtless is creepy) Honestly her eyes when she saw the scars on his chest made me uncomfortable (I could practically see her delusions about how magical Jon is and barfed, cuz yeah Jon is pretty magical, but the amazing thing about him is that he wants none of that he doesn't want t be a hero or a god, hells he didn't even wanted to be King!!) Anyway Jon's eyes focus on her and the first thing that comes out of his mouth is that he is sorry about Viserion?For real? Uncle Ben died to save you and you care about this? Of course not! Have some faith in Jon ffs! Goddamn it he got killed by the NW when he rushed from his office cuz Uncle Ben had returned!!! He loved uncle Ben, why would he care about Viserion?? He does not! This is another 'they are gorgeous beasts" he is bullshiting her so hard it's obvious.

She thinks he is her equal and defy her and all that jazz, but in all their interactions (except that time he said I am King to get away from DS) he caters to her, he is never sincere with her, for he has learned she doesn't listen.

She says she'll fight the WW and about how the dragon are the only children she'll ever have, doesn't mention a thing about kneeling everything seems almost too perfect, so why would Jon bullshit her?? Maybe I am just a salty shipper, but point is I don't think Jon trusts D a lot, oh yes he talked about trust when he wanted to get away from DS, and he did show trust going to meet her without weapons or a proper guard, but I stand by what I said last week she betrayed that trust the moment she called him a rebell and took his boat making him prisioner in all but name, not to mentionhe saw in frist row how she blamed Tyrion(her hand) for things going wrong and he doesn't have the luxury of having her turn on him, she is alright now but if another Dragon or one of her friends died what then? She could just go back to Essos, he can't afford that.

So he calls her Dany, and she laughs (bitch me too the fuck) but he doesn't smile at all, and he takes her hand, this gave me serious flashbacks of the Jonsa scene Back on S6 when Sansa takes his hand, or the scene from 7x01 when she takes his arm and he looks down, just his time positions are reverted, Jon is the one touching D (this gesture he has come to learn is very effective to have someone listen to you) and D looks down on their joined hands but Jon doesn't, he looks almost pained and guilty (he is an awful liar) Jon goes as far as to call her my Queen and saying he would bend. Seriously y'all think he was being sincere, why would he go from calling her stranger just last episode to being all Dany my Queen with no development in between the very next? No this doesn't make sense at all.

Why do you all think all this random ass conversations about Honor=Dead and "bending the knee is OK if you do it for your people's life" if not to foreshadow this? Jon himself said he went on the mission for the North, why would he seriously ditch his family and people for someone he just met? You can scream he is attracted to her all you want, I personaly don't see it, but it's a disservice to Jon to think he could mean any of this, he is not above using sex and romantic feelings (Ygritte) to do his duty, even if he developed feelings in the last situation he choose his duty and he will again because he loves Winterfell and he loves the Stark shipping aside. It would be ridiculous to have Lord Glover talking about foreing whores, Sansa warning about to be smarter than Robb and Ned, Tormund going on and on about Mance's pride, Jorah and Jon's conversations about Jeor and Ned and Beric talk about how thrones and Queens don't matter if Jon is suddenly gonna forsake it all in the name of a love we have no proof but Tyrion's and D&D's words (that we shouldn't trust cuz it's not likely they would give away such a twist) that it exists at all.

D eats it all up (I kinda feel bad for her, almost, only if she weren't such an entitled brat) and she tells him to rest. Jon clases his eyes and as soon as she is out he stares at the ceiling and sighs, again not subtle at all.

Anyway that is just what I think.

10.- The wights are getting Viserion out of the lake with some big ass chains, where do they even get this stuff? Hardhome? The had this big ass chains? A convinient again. Anyway so Viserion's out and his eyes open, and they are blue. Real talk the NK has had more bonding with him in this 2 min than D in all the seasons.

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That's all I hope the finale is a bit better cuz this episode was hella boring.

#Game of thrones #jonsa #season 7 #7x06 recap #part 3 #anti daenerys #anti jonerys #just in case #dachi rambles

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