#making me wanna sin greatly

[ilovemesomevincentprice]

Vincent Price and Ronald Colman - The Story of Mankind

[rubysparx]

Honestly I don't think I'm qualified to make this post, I just don't know if I can make coherent enough words man. But the thoughts are in there and I will try to articulate them. This is probably going to be mostly images though. anyway yeah KABRU POST.

A couple nights ago (at approximately 2:30am, lasting a little over half an hour) I had a bit of a moment about Kabru. That, too, was mostly images- most of what you see in this more concise post were presented then as well. I think my main points of the "moment" were about Kabru's trauma + self hatred, his autism and/or general otherness, and also a little labru if you'd like..

I think something easy to start with is I wanna point out Kabru's constant back and forth and conflicting opinions of demihumans and how, I believe, thats a reflection of how he goes back and forth on what he believes his purpose of living is- and the general worth of his own life. I've said it before and i've just kinda shown it in images; Kabru is "i think im a monster and it disgusts me" where Laios is "I know im a human and it disgusts me" (i could go more into the latter on another post)

the above are both from the world bible, with the left being from the section on kobolds and the right being from the section on Kuro specifically. Utaya was very near to the desert where most of the kobold population is, this is likely why Kabru is able to speak Kuro's language- he grew up around demihumans. (chapter 48 cover, kobold chapter in the world bible) I won't try to speak for how his mother or the rest of utaya felt about the kobolds but I can say that Kabru was very much othered as a child, as was his mother, purely for the way her son's (kabru) eyes looked.

I feel like its fair enough to say that both kabru and the kobolds were othered, and possibly for similar reasons (villager's seeing them as nonhuman, as monsters) and the fact that Kabru learned their language probably didn't help his case. I think his perception of kobolds (and all demihumans, subsequently himself, as he probably still views himself as nonhuman or not human enough.. deep down) was damaged by the Utaya incident. at 2:30am when I first started this ramble my main comment was that "had the utaya incident not happened kabru would have little reason to feel ashamed for his connection to monsters. and may have ended up similar to laios in that he couldve had otherkin swag" which is just a sort of silly way of saying Kabru could've learned to love the thought that he is possibly nonhuman or at least not hated himself so much for it.

in the original ramble I said, and quote, "he has been STALKING laios. laios is his hyperfixation to learn how he can ever be loved. he keeps going back and forth so harshly on wether or not he wants to kill Laios and he clearly sees his survival from utaya not as an unfortunate trauma [*] but as a necessary, deserved fate. a punishment for his mother's witchy sins, and for his sin of being non-human. to atone for it all, to apologize for being alive, he tries to better the lives of all humanity. He was set on his way to dethrone the governor of the island . do you understand? im going insane" *i also said somethings about the way he processes other people's traumas and not his own. He's able to understand and even help some people, but he struggles to process his own issues and see himself as worthy of love and life.

^some examples of Kabru being understanding of or helping others who have suffered greatly. I think its also worth mentioning that with Rin (called "Lynn" in that translation) he says "I wish there was a way to get her out of this" though he's insisted and pushed for himself to go into a dungeon;

In chapter 94, Mithrun says "The desire I had left wasn't revenge. All I wanted.. was for it to finish devouring me." and I don't feel like it's a stretch to say Kabru was in a similar situation. Mithrun sought out the demon with no plan on how to kill something like that because deep down he wanted it to end his (Mithrun's) own life, to finish the trauma it caused and kill him. I think Kabru went into the dungeon in part with the hopes that it'd kill him. That the same thing that destroyed Utaya and caused him so much trauma would just.. finish him.

I just think Kabru is a beautifully complex character, I have a lotta thoughts on him and I don't see nearly as many analysis posts for him than I do Laios (despite labru being such a popular ship)

there is no tldr for this post idk how to summarize it. do what you will with this collection of images. have fun. go crazy

fun fact the woman in the bottom left corner is his mother, she is labeled here as "witch"

[darkdevasofdestruction]

𝓒𝓱𝓪𝓷𝓮𝓵 𝓝°5 ~ 𝓗𝓾𝓼𝓴𝓮𝓻 𝔁 𝓡𝓮𝓪𝓭𝓮𝓻

Oh, to be young and in love, in the most romantic era of the notorious 1950s, with one very magical man who never fail to make you swoon with every suave look who offers.

It isn't very often that Husker reminisces his past life - He knows, if he does, he will remember all of the good times, when his heart was gold and trembling with pure emotion - After all, if he recalls the time he was alive, and very much in love, his frozen heart will just shatter to dust once again, with the same infinite anguish he felt once everything was ripped away from his grasp.

A pain so intolerable, that runs so deep - A pain that no amount of alcohol can mend.

He never truly knows whether he wants to remain asleep forever, so that he will never have to face reality again, or if that would be a nightmare, tormenting him for the remaining abyss of eternity...

Or, perhaps he should stay awake, so that memories will stop toppling him over, beginning with a most beautiful reverie, yet always ending with the same night terror he must face every time.

If this is his way of paying for his irredeemable sins, then he is well aware he deserves it, and even more - Yet every smell reminds him of that sweet Chanel N°5 that she used to wear. Every time he closes his eyes, he dreams of the gracious dances he would share with her. Every song he hears, he recalls that angelic voice of hers, and every time he lays abed and stares up at the ceiling, her seraphic visage flashes before him.

"You are drinking again." Angel slumped in one of the stools by the bar, noticing his best friend looking in a far worse state than usual. "Rough day?"

"Rough life." Husk rasped, chugging down a whole bottle of strong spirits.

"Wanna talk about it?" he tried, in vain, to appear sympathetic - The feline demon was far too gone into his own darkness to even think about slurring away his never-ending sorrows.

"I wanna die, that's what I want." he growled, slamming away the bottle into the nearest wall. "Just like this fucking bottle. That's what I fuckin' wanna do - I wanna die, damn it!"

Angel's eyes widened greatly - Yes, life in hell surely was crazy, and especially for demons like the two of them, who sold their souls away because of their own failures, both in life, and now, in hell - But what in the world could it have caused him to get so hopeless that he was unable to fight back the tears glistening in those tortured eyes?

Even someone like him couldn't dare to make light of the situation, or try and crack a joke, let alone taunt or flirt with him. He felt... Pity, for the poor bartender who always listens to others' woes, yet dares naught speak out his own problems.

"Listen... Husk, ergh... I'm not the best at comforting, okay? But... If I can help, you can tell me... And, if not, then... I'll still be here. And maybe try to keep the others away from you. How's that?" Husk didn't quite seem to compute what his friend said, though he robotically nodded his head, as if remote controlled.

Angel remained in that stool for a few hours, watching the winged demon drink bottle after bottle after bottle, yet his sorrows only washed over him tenfold with each shattered glass against a different wall. He wonders what is going through Husk's mind, what he's ruining himself over with each sigh o grip on his fur.

Who would have thought that, of all things possible, Husker's greatest lament was...

"I fucking hate red. Why the fuck are my wings red? Of all the fucking colours in hell, they just had to be red, yeah?" he stammered angrily, pulling at his feathers. "Y'know what? They can't change colour. Tried dyeing 'em, but nothin'. Got so much fuckin' red on me - I wonder if it's Hell's way of punishin' me forever for my fucking sins."

He hates red...? What an odd statement - He truly seems to have a personal vendetta against that colour - But why? It's just a colour, after all, it can do no wrong. "Why... Do you hate red so much...? Angeldust dared to ask.

At first, he was met with a low growl, hostile, yet inoffensive at its core. Then, he heard a most disturbing answer. "That was the colour of my wife's dress when I last went home." Angel's brain shut down completely. To think someone was trusting him with such a vulnerable piece of himself, the very core of their hopelessness, their weakness; In a way, he felt flattered that Husk trusted him so much, yet in another way... He couldn't help but feel borderless pity for his friend. He wishes such a fate to no one... Well, maybe to Valentino.

Angel forced himself to smile softly, placing his hand gingerly over his own, taking away the alcohol from his hand. "What was her name?" Husk looked up with shock, a little startled, right into his dual coloured eyes - He hasn't ever spoken her name out loud, it almost felt like a blasphemy against her purity. Yet... Maybe... "Y/N." he dared whisper.

"Y/N." Angel repeated after him. "A beautiful name for a beautiful lady." Husk nodded his head.

"She was a Princess." he muttered, his sight blurry with tears.

"A Princess? Really? Nobility and all that?" much to his surprise, Husker chuckled.

"Nah, not quite." he rasped. "At heart, she was. Her family was very rich, so she was pampered up. Huge manor, servants, a personal maid, luxury brands, jewellery and perfumes, indulging in any studies and hobbies she liked..."

"How'd you two meet? I don't suppose you were a Prince or something, were you?" Angel tried to joke friendly, encouraging his friend to open up.

"Ha. Far from it." in his hand, a few dices appeared, and he idly played around with them. "I was an ugly dead beat from a working class broken family. Hardly worthy of her attention." he gritted his teeth bitterly. "Got around to finding work at a young age - Gambling, magic, sax player - If I had money to live, anything worked."

"Did you meet at one of your gigs?" Husk nodded his head affirmatively.

"No clue what she saw in me, Angel. She could do so much better." for a split second, he had a dry smirk on his face, before it disappeared again. "I asked her once, what the hell did she see in me - And she said... I played her favourite song. Silly, innit?"

He didn't receive a mocking laugh, much to his surprise - Instead, Angel cooed. He never imagined the jaded demon before him could be so romantic! "What did you play?" Instead of answering, Husk turned around to his bar, and took out another bottle, yet this time, he hummed a familiar tune as he was doing his bartending for two glasses. "Oh, now I get it - You always hum that song when no one's around! I thought you were just bored out of your mind." he let out an amused exhale. "Fly me to the moon... Refined tastes, alright."

"The stars in the sky never sparkles as brightly as those in her eyes when she looked at me." no wonder he never accepted any flirting from anyone - How could anyone match the love he had for Y/N? "If I were a decent man, I'd have told her not to waste her precious time and love on me. Instead, I was a selfish fuck. I stole years of her life... And in the end, I even stole her life. All because I wasn't even half the fucking man I pretended to be."

The conversation soon turned significantly sour. "I was the man - I was supposed to provide for her. Afford all that fucking expensive Chanel N°5, and the Dior dresses, the Chantelle lingerie, and the damn Cartier and Tiffany's jewellery." even someone more modern like Angel knew all those luxury brands, and was even more impressed and shocked that they could so easily afford such high-end items. "I brought her flowers every day and I took her out on brunches every morning, on dates every afternoon, and to soirees every fucking evening. She loved dancing at parties... But I suppose she preferred the moonlight over the chandeliers."

"You must have overworked yourself a bunch to afford all these things. I'm sure she appreciated it." Angel tried to comfort him, earning a nod of agreement.

"She told me she didn't need any gift, except for my presence. Genuine woman, that one. But how could I, in good conscience, go to her parents and ask for her hand in marriage, when I couldn't even afford a half-decent house with a room for each of her hobbies, a drawer for each month outfit, another for her shoes and three more for her bags, jewels and perfumes; and a large flower garden and a fucking rose gazebo and a swan pond with ten different breeds of pedigree dogs." Angel cringed a little, realising the tremendous gap between their living conditions. "I lost myself on the way to greatness. She was making me so euphoric that I just wanted to see her excited every moment of her life. I didn't need to eat or drink, I just needed to see her smile, and I could work again a few more days without rest."

"But then... You collapsed from overworking?" Husker shook his head.

"Worse. I fooled her parents completely, and we planned our wedding." he replied bitterly.

"How is that a bad thing? Isn't the wedding day the happiest day in a couple's life?" Husk sighed, from the deepest part of his soul.

"It was." he said. "I got greedy. I went to loan sharks, took a shit ton of money to make that wedding the most grand event the country saw in a while. Then went on a month-old honey moon around the world." he cursed in a few different languages that Angel couldn't understand, but was sure were some highly offensive and crude words that he would never utter around Y/N. "I don't need to say more, do I?"

Yeah, he needn't continue speaking the descent into madness, alright. Angeldust didn't want to hear that his friend's love story ended up in his soulmate getting murderer by the loan sharks, only for him to end up killing them, and then himself, out of pure rage and sorrow. He didn't want to hear that an innocent woman like Y/N never knew that her husband was broke and took loans, just to try and mimic the lavish lifestyle she grew up with and deserved. He didn't want to hear the broken shriek of anguish, or the streaming river of tears that befell as Husker saw her dead, on the floor, her pearly pink dress dyed a deep crimson from her own blood, and getting even more stained with each strong embrace he held around her shattered body, just like a precious porcelain doll fallen off the shelf.

They only just recently became something akin to 'best friends' from both sides... Yet Angel couldn't bare to hear the tragic end of the story, and he couldn't even begin to imagine the pain he felt, having to live his afterlife as a Sinner, for as long as he has, without the woman he loves by his side.

"It's better this way, I guess. At least she finally got rid of me. Wherever she is, she must be living far better, than with a lying fuck like me who couldn't keep it together." the spider demon frowned, watching his friend slump on the bar counter.

"I don't think that's the case." he spoke vehemently. "I don't believe there is any person, of any kind, treasuring her as much as you did." Husk's ears perked up immediately, twitching lightly. "At least on an emotional way, I'd say, you and Y/N were lucky. There's so many people who never experience the love you had, let alone get to meet and marry their soulmate."

"What the fuck would you know?!" he growled, throwing a bottle at his head, only for the demon to dodge.

"... I wish I had fallen in love too, you know?" Husk gritted his teeth, realising the sensitive wound that he unwillingly stabbed open - But it wasn't his foult - He is hurt! He is in pain! "As a human, as a demon... I was like you, sort of. I was so shit at managing my life, that I ended up falling prey to my vices... I needed more and more, and I couldn't resist. I had no ration or logic. I gave in to my so-called 'friend group' and got addicted to drugs... Couldn't get rid of that addiction even after death... And I clinged on the only demon who could give me what I wanted... And now, I can't escape Val, even if I wanted to turn my life around and live the life that I never could." Angel had a wry smile on his face. "Do you really think a drug addict or the most famous porn star of hell would be able to meet his soulmate, without destroying their life in the process also?"

The two remained silent, only hanging their head and sighing. No matter how happy life can be for some... It will never have a chance of turning around for them. It just couldn't be. They are in hell, after all. Even Charlie won't be able to save them and bring them on the path of redemption, no matter how insanely enthusiastic and cheerful she can be... They were still sure to drown.

Somehow, this few hours of vulnerability brought Husk and Angel closer, and although they won't be speaking about it again, it was clear to the residents of the Hazbin Hotel that the two were as close as two demons can get, without the inclusion of vice or extortion.

Things were going well enough for them, even with the new addition of Sir Pentious, the villain turned... Something? It was still not too bad around the hotel. Though unsure of whatever Charlie's plan was, to fight against the purge from the Angels, they were still there to sort-of support whatever dream the Princess of the Pride Circle has.

That is, until the Hotel opened its doors to a brand new resident, a gorgeous demoness dressed elegantly in a dress of pearly pink, adorned with high quality jewellery, and with her long hair done stylishly, and smelling like a fresh day of Spring. She walked in guided by the Radio Demon, of all people, and she was smiling so demurely, completely unafraid of the fiend next to her, yet still reserved and soft.

"No way, is that Chanel N°5?! How'd you get it in here?!" Angel squealed, fangirling over the flowery perfume - But then, it clicked for him. Didn't Husker mention his wife loving this scent the most?

"Oh, you noticed! I am so happy that there are more sensible people - Erh - Demons with refined tastes!" the girl unfolded her laced fan and giggled behind it demurely.

Although she looked even more regal than even the Princess of Hell herself, as they stood next to each other, there was one particular detail that made the new-comer stand out from any other netizen.

With her hands clasped together over her chest, a bright white gold ring, with a most brilliant zircon was shining brighter than even the moon herself.

Whilst the other demons gathered around the seraphic beauty, wanting to have her attention, and even going as far as to have Alastor speak out about this new lady, Husker's breath stopped completely; His brain was going into overdrive, and his heart, he wanted to rip out of his chest.

That ring... That ring, he knew all to well - After all, he bought it himself, when he proposed to Y/N. That voice, the fashion, the mannerism... Even with altered looks, she looked the same. Even in hell, she looked the same. Even with demonic eyes, she looked the same.

She was the most beautiful woman in the universe.

"Y/N, this is Husker, our bartender." Charlie's face was split open by her overly-cheerful grin. "Husk, won't you introduce yourself to Y/N?"

"I'm not a fucking child. I don't need to introduce myself." the man hissed aggressively. "This is fucking stupid, I'm out." without even realising, he shattered the glass in his grasp, before stomping away into his room.

How could that be? Was this a nightmare? Surely, this must be some impersonator demon or something - There's no way an innocent being like Y/N could possibly have ended up in Hell, with a bunch of Sinners, of all thing. Was this his fault also? Did he bring her down with him to hell? Was he never going to be forgiven for all of the shit he's done in his previous life? Did Alastor bring her to the Hotel, so that he could blackmail him even more? Was his empty soul worth so little, in the end?

He was so afraid - Will Y/N be angry once she realises who he is? He couldn't blame her, obviously, he's earned her scorn... Yet why is his heart hurting so bad? He wishes so badly to jump on her and wrap her in his arms and wrings, and never again let her go. Ah, but he looks like a stupid flying cat... He looks ridiculous. There's no way...

...

Perhaps... She should stay with Al...

He has the influence, the money, the fashion sense, the looks, the freedom and privilege, the elegance...

Alastor has everything, and embodies everything that he could never be.

In life, he was selfish, and he didn't let go of her. Perhaps, the only way to apologise and make up for his sins was to let her be cherished by a man capable of doing what he never could.

As he lay awake on the bed, curled up and cursing his whole existence, wanting to sob until his body was all dried up and shriek until his throat was bleeding raw; he wanted to claw his face to velvety ribbons and drown his lungs with all of his blood... As he was succumbing to his self-hatred and spiraling down into the depths of despair, Y/N decided to end the day with some delicious pastries and an aromatic cup of tea in the garden, with her friend, Alastor.

Y/N was idly playing with her ring, looking at the inscription inside of it. 'Y/N ♡ Husker'. How absolutely adorable, she thought, a beautiful smile gracing her features. "He looks... Different. Are you sure it is the same person, Alastor?" her voice showed nervousness.

"Y/N, Y/N, would I lie to you?" he grinned, as always, sipping from his tea. "You should hear him purr. He truly resembles a little kitten."

Y/N looked up into he friend's eyes, a look of intense surprise and borderline intrigue taking over. "Are you being truthful? He... Purrs?" she gasped, quickly slipping her ring back on her finger.

"Yes, my darling. Unconsciously, someone strokes his fur, he gets so very adorable~." Alastor hums, watching the lady before him being so romantically melancholic over a life long gone. "What did you think about today's meeting?"

Y/N sighed, looking up into the sky. "I feel guilty for enjoying the moment I ripped Velvette apart, yet I feel no remorse for killing her. Such an uncouth and vulgar person has no right to behave with such disrespect towards me." Alastor's grin widened significantly. "And... I cannot wait for the next purge. I want to burn Heaven to cinders. Those hypocrites have grown far too arrogant for their own good, and I believe they need to be taught a harsh lesson."

"I see we are on the same wavelength as always, my dear." the demon sipped from his tea. "I am quite glad those arrogant hypocrites turned you away, for such a silly thing like - Vanity - They say. Beautiful women should be allowed to feel that-a-way, not ostracised for being such jewels for one's eyes." ever the charmer with poison dripping from his tongue. "Before I turn in for the evening, I have a gift for you - For friendship's sake." Y/N rose a suspicious eyebrow, watching as he took out a carefully folded picture from his blazer's pocket, and handing it to her. "I am going for a new fitting with Rosie tomorrow, should you wish to join us for a lovely day of self-care." the girl smiled, nodding her head at him in appreciation. "Have a pleasant evening."

Y/N muttered her pleasantries, and waited for Alastor to leave her sight, before unfolding the picture and bursting to tears. She cradled the precious memory to her heart, and sobbed for as long as her heart needed.

What have they done so wrong to deserve this? They were so happy while alive, so what went wrong? Was her opulent life, the reason for their downfall? Did her beloved think she wouldn't love him, if he couldn't match her family's wealth? Were all soulmates made to be torn apart while at their most blissful?

Still, she was grateful that she wasn't accepted into Heaven, for she would have had a most awful afterlife, as opposed to the many Overlord friends she made since she's been sent to Hell after her gruesome death, and the many favours she received from the Lords and Royals who went to Earth to retrieve items of importance for her.

Drying her tears, Y/N walked back inside the hotel, ready to turn in for the night, only to stop in her tracks as soon as she heard a soft sob, followed by a few very familiar curses in a variety of languages that she knew all too well. Her heart clenched as she stepped cautiously towards the foreign room, eavesdropping for any other sound, only to be met with more muffled cries.

Biting her lip, the demoness knocked on the door, only to be cursed harshly and told to fuck off. Y/N gulped, feeling taken aback by being talked in such a way - Though she immediately composed herself, reminding herself that he, too, is hurting, most likely far more than she is.

She excused herself before opening the door and entering. "What fucking part of 'FUCK OFF' don't you FUCKING UNDERSTA---" Husk was livid, getting in a sitting position as he growled with incredible hostility at the one who dared barge in his bedroom so rudely, only to remain speechless as he realised it was the demoness herself, standing with a sympathetic smile on her face. She also seemed to have been crying prior to this. "Oh. It is you." he cleared his throat, getting back on the bed, unable to face her.

"I have missed you dearly." her voice was so soft, so beautiful, so endearing... "I... Cannot believe that I am seeing you again. It seems to me that, no matter how far apart, our souls will forever traverse oceans of time and space, just to embrace each other once more."

She could hear him sniffling, his nails digging deep into the blanket. "You have always been so romantic and poetic." he grumbled, hiding his face in the pillow. "You shouldn't be here."

"You will have to be more specific, my love." she hummed, moving to sit on the edge of his bed. "Here - In Hell? Or here - In your room? Either way, I would say, I am right where I need to be."

"I don't understand." as if burning with frustration, Husk shot up, looking with self-hatred at the girl. "You did nothing wrong your entire life. You were nothing but a living sunshine. A fucking flower in human form. What the fuck did those angels not agree with, that they cast you to this shit hole?"

"There was a time when you would beat up any man who would curse in my presence." Y/N's adorable giggle made the demon's face flush red. "I am sorry that you are suffering so much, at my expense. I could never repay you for everything you have done for me, while we were alive."

"What the hell are you apologising for anyway? I got you killed, not the other way around - And even if it were that way, it'd've been a blessing in disguise, getting rid of a dead beat worthless fuck like me." he huffed, looking away. "You always were too good for me." the demon had so much to say, so many regrets to yell, so much love to spill... Alas, he remained quiet. "You seemed happy with Al. I wish I could be that, while we were alive." his voice went to soft, it was barely audible. "You should... Stay with him."

"Yes, I am happy being friends with Alastor. He was the one who introduced me to Rosie and Carmilla and Zestial, and I cherish them all dearly, as my like-minded friends." Y/N spoke calmly, reaching her hand to cup her lover's soft cheek. "He also was the one to tell me of your misdemeanours. How you succumbed to your vices; to gambling and alcohol, to the the point that you lost your soul in a deal with him. How pitiful." he was so confused as to where she was trying to get with her words, yet in spite of the anticipation for blames and reproaches, he couldn't help but lean into her warm and gentle touch. "He is the one who helped me become an Overlord, and I took your place. And it is Alastor, and some other friends of mine, who helped retrieve some objects I thought long lost."

"... You still smell like Chanel N°5." his comment made the girl giggle again.

"One of my friends had his little imps go to the human world and rob an entire Chanel store, to bring me all Chanel N°5 perfume bottles." how incredulous, Husk thought, staring at the girl flabbergast, speaking of a clear crime, committed in her name. And then, he started laughing at the sheer ridiculousness of her statement.

"Angel would kill to have a whole room of Chanel N°5." he said, his eyes softening as he put his hand over hers. "Y/N... Knowing that you are doing fine... That you aren't suffering... Or anything that I put you through... It makes me... Content."

"My darling." Y/N called out. "Do you remember the day of our wedding?"

"Of course I do. What's that question?"

With a cheeky grin, she took out the picture from her purse, handing it to her beloved. "Alastor was able to find this. His connections truly are amazing." Husk's eyes were wet with falling tears, and his lips were trembling. "I forgot I had pink roses braided in my hair. I was so busy looking at my handsome husband, that everything around me vanished." Husk's sobbing got even louder. "I wanted to frame this picture first, but I couldn't resist showing it to you first."

"Get out, Y/N! Get out!" his voice was broken and raw, so pained that even her heart shattered. "I am not the man you fell in love with. Why do you think my name is 'Husk'? I am just that - A husk of the man I never was. I am not worth anything. I don't amount to anything. I just gamble money I don't have and drink booze until I pass out. I don't deserve a second chance, and I certainly don't deserve you. I never did. I got you killed, damn it!"

"You think too much, you fool." Y/N cupped his face, bringing him into a gentle kiss - A kiss so loving that it numbed his pain, and hightened his senses, that got his heart pumping again and his lungs screaming for air. "I fell in love with you for good reason, and I intend to remain by your side, loving you." she smiled, wiping his tears with her thumb. "You can try as much as you wish to drive me away, but it will not work. You may succeed in convincing yourself that you are a lesser man, but you cannot do that with me. I know the man before me, and I know I will never leave you."

"Y/N..." the man sniffled, burying his face in her bosom, holding so tightly onto her petite body that he almost feared breaking her.

"There was once a time when you would only call me 'Sweety'." her honeyed giggle sounded so teasing, yet it didn't embarrass him. It served only to make him chuckle.

"There was also a time when I would only call you 'Chanel', if you recall." it almost felt as though they were both alive, and during their honey moon, without a single care in the world, and living a most carefree life.

"That does bring back some very amusing memories." Husk hummed in agreement, feeling melancholic, despite the intense joy surging through his body. Perhaps it was due to the unfamiliarity of this positive feeling, that he felt exhausted, or maybe from his excessive crying and whining. Regardless, he wanted nothing more than to cuddle up in his wife's arms, and never leave this blasted room ever again.

"Can you promise me something?" the man asked. "I am selfish still - Even more so as a demon. I am nothing but filth. I didn't deserve you then, and I deserve you even less now. Still... Now that you're here... I can't let you go again. So..."

Though he found himself eating his words, Y/N only smiled, laying down on the bed and taking him down with her, nestling him comfortably into her loving embrace. "Alastor said you purr like a kitten. I would love to hear that, tonight." she hummed, hearing his annoyed snarl. "And every night going forward, for as long as we may live in this afterlife we have." Husk's body became stiff, frozen with shock. "That is what you wanted me to promise, isn't it? That I will never leave you." he didn't respond. "It is within our wedding vows, silly. There is no way I would walk away, after I have just found my soulmate."

"... Even though I look like... This? And I am irredeemably addicted to gambling and drinking, even more so than before... And I have lost my soul to the Radio Demon? I am stuck doing his bidding for eternity... And..." Y/N only hugged him closer.

"No matter what, in sickness and in death, you and I will still be soulbound." his small body was softly trembling with emotion. "I've got you, my darling. Worry not about anything. I have got you." she remained silent for a little while. "But, Husk..." her voice sounded so distant, so... Melancholic. "Do you... Still like me? The way you did before?"

Startled by her words, Husker jolted up, looking at the pitiful visage of his lover. "What... What do you mean...?"

"My skin is pure white, with no colour, except for my make up. My eyes are black where they should be white, and the worst carmine red, where they should be embodying the aspect of nature. Even my hair looks to be an abnormal colour, and no matter how much I try to dye it, it will not retain its original shade." she gulped, looking away from him. "Any shred of normalcy that I have... Is so tiresome, so much work to keep up, the princessy facade that I used to have, that I used to love... That you used to love..." she sighed softly. "Yet even that completely dissolves as soon as I transform in the monstrous form that I fight so hard to keep veiled from the world."

"Y/N." he caressed her soft face, only to notice small particles of powder latching onto his fur. "I'm a fucking furry mammal with wings. I look like a children's plush toy or somethin'. Meanwhile, you look as doll-like as always, and you're afraid I wouldn't like you anymore? How silly." he sighed, leaning to place a kiss on her forehead. For a few seconds, he stopped to ponder over a rather bold move, and in a split second, he retrieved a wooden box from under his bed. "This is my secret. Nobody has to know about this." he spoke, a rosy tint on his cheeks. "Open it."

Carefully, the girl did as instructed, revealing the content of the box. A bunch of letters were preserved there, all of them neatly placed and handwritten with black ink. "Husk..." Y/N felt the air in her lungs dissipating, as she realised all those letters were recreating the exchange of love words from their time alive. "H-How...?"

"I have all our letters memorised." he chuckled lightly. "I... Needed some way of keeping you close... Of remembering you. I am shit at drawing, but I have a good enough memory... So this was the only way of preserving what we had."

"It's been so long... And yet, you... You still remember... All of it? There must be tens, if not, hundreds of them... How...?" the girl was flabbergast, yet melting completely.

"I read them every night before sleep, when alive, and I read them every night now also." those precious teardrop diamonds caressing her cheeks falling down so gracefully.

𝐼 𝓃𝑒𝓋𝑒𝓇 𝓀𝓃𝑒𝓌 𝒶𝒷𝑜𝓊𝓉 𝒽𝒶𝓅𝓅𝒾𝓃𝑒𝓈𝓈; 𝐼 𝒹𝒾𝒹𝓃’𝓉 𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓃𝓀 𝒹𝓇𝑒𝒶𝓂𝓈 𝒸𝒶𝓂𝑒 𝓉𝓇𝓊𝑒; 𝐼 𝒸𝑜𝓊𝓁𝒹𝓃’𝓉 𝓇𝑒𝒶𝓁𝓁𝓎 𝒷𝑒𝓁𝒾𝑒𝓋𝑒 𝒾𝓃 𝓁𝑜𝓋𝑒, 𝒰𝓃𝓉𝒾𝓁 𝐼 𝒻𝒾𝓃𝒶𝓁𝓁𝓎 𝓂𝑒𝓉 𝓎𝑜𝓊.

His usual raspy voice sounded so romantic as he recited the love poem he wrote to her. A voice that he only reserved for her. A voice that only she would ever know.

𝐸𝓋𝑒𝓇𝓎 𝒹𝒶𝓎 𝓌𝒾𝓉𝒽 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝑔𝒾𝓋𝑒𝓈 𝓂𝑒 𝒶 𝓉𝒽𝓇𝒾𝓁𝓁; 𝒜𝓁𝓁 𝓂𝓎 𝒹𝓇𝑒𝒶𝓂𝓈 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓇𝒾𝒸𝒽𝓁𝓎 𝒻𝓊𝓁𝒻𝒾𝓁𝓁. 𝐼'𝓂 𝒶 𝒻𝑜𝑜𝓁 𝒻𝑜𝓇 𝓎𝑜𝓊𝓇 𝒸𝒽𝒶𝓇𝓂𝓈; 𝒴𝑜𝓊 𝒷𝑒𝓁𝑜𝓃𝑔 𝒾𝓃 𝓂𝓎 𝒶𝓇𝓂𝓈; 𝐿𝑜𝓋𝑒 𝓂𝑒; 𝓅𝓁𝑒𝒶𝓈𝑒 𝓈𝒶𝓎 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓌𝒾𝓁𝓁.

A love so pure and true, bottomless and without boundaries; Husker himself forgot just how endless his emotions could run. He thought himself jaded and cold, having lost his own heart, the second he lost her... Yet now... Perhaps it wasn't as bad as he first thought. Perhaps... Even someone like himself deserves some kind of redemption.

𝐻𝑜𝓁𝒹𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓎𝑜𝓊𝓇 𝒽𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒲𝒶𝓇𝓂𝓈 𝓂𝓎 𝒽𝑒𝒶𝓇𝓉 𝓉𝑜 𝒾𝓉𝓈 𝒸𝑜𝓇𝑒. 𝐼𝓉’𝓈 𝒽𝒶𝓇𝒹 𝓉𝑜 𝒾𝓂𝒶𝑔𝒾𝓃𝑒 𝐻𝑜𝓌 𝐼 𝒸𝑜𝓊𝓁𝒹 𝓁𝑜𝓋𝑒 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓂𝑜𝓇𝑒.

Without her, he wasn't whole. Without her, he is not himself. Without her, he is empty. Without her, his whole life falls apart. Without her, he is nothing but a worthless deadbeat.

𝒥𝓊𝓈𝓉 𝓁𝑜𝑜𝓀𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝒶𝓉 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝒢𝒾𝓋𝑒𝓈 𝓂𝑒 𝒶 𝓉𝒽𝓇𝒾𝓁𝓁. 𝐼 𝓁𝑜𝓋𝑒 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓃𝑜𝓌, 𝒜𝓃𝒹 𝐼 𝒶𝓁𝓌𝒶𝓎𝓈 𝓌𝒾𝓁𝓁.

But now, he is not alone anymore - Well, perhaps he never was to begin with, considering he still had Angel and Charlie, to some extent, yet nothing can compare to sweet Y/N's existence by his side. Nothing can heal his aching soul, or revert the damage he did to himself throughout life and afterlife, the way her love for him did.

♡ ~𝓘 𝓵𝓸𝓿𝓮 𝔂𝓸𝓾, 𝓶𝔂 𝓼𝔀𝓮𝓮𝓽 𝓟𝓻𝓲𝓷𝓬𝓮𝓼𝓼~♡

[that-gay-guy-from-hell]

A Devil's Secret Wingman: Vergil x G/N Reader

APPARENTLY, I NEVER POSTED THIS HERE; I WROTE THIS BACK IN MARCH OF 2023 LMFAO WHAT THE FUCK--

SUMMARY: As time has gone on, random appearances from a certain blue apparition happened more and more. A part of you wonders why but you had never dared to ask Vergil; however, the sly blue ghostly devil had a different plan in store.

BEGINNING NOTES: I don’t know why I really like the idea of Vergil in yoga pants right now; I just do. Also when Doppel shakes their upper half; I am imagining something similar to a bird fluffing its feathers. Yes, I know that Vergil + Dante’s DT/Sin DTs don’t have feathers but I feel like they’d still do it; plus it would make Vergil’s (Sin Trigger) shoulder pauldrons move according to how they work on the concept art page. 💝🩵💝 Vergil x G/N Reader Unestablished relationship Some good ol’ fluff

==

INSPIRED BY:

A Doppelganger's Projection--By: DevilSwordVergil

Devil's Advocate--By: LadyMuzzMuzz

These are both super cute and I love them ngl

==

     Visitations from a certain bright blue apparition had become a regular occurrence when you visited the Devil May Cry. It didn't typically matter what was going on; night or day, before or after a job--as long as you were alone, the glowing blue devil would make time to see you. At first, you thought that Vergil had been doing this to keep an eye on you while he was up in his room; however, as time went by, you realized that Vergil didn’t even have to be awake for Doppel to appear--sometimes you'd even get a visit when Vergil was out and about. It had become a part of your routine, one which you reveled in greatly.

     Today was no exception. 

     Vergil and you were on “shop duty”, being tasked with the monotonous secretary work of (the) Devil May Cry. Everyone else had various contracts to complete or were on vacation; leaving you and the blue twin alone for an undisclosed amount of time.

     You sighed heavily, “I’m so fucking bored…” you leaned forward in the desk chair and set your head on the desk with a small thunk. 

     It had been nearly three hours and there wasn’t a single phone call or walk-in; it was as dead as dead can be. A part of you had hoped that Vergil might join you downstairs for a while, maybe even a long while; but, you hadn’t seen nor heard from the Dark Slayer all day. Which was fine, it’s not like the two of you don’t see each other all the time, but you couldn’t help but yearn to be near him--even if it just meant that you were occupying the same room. 

     A small joyful chirping caught your attention. You tilted your head up slightly and stared from the tops of your eyes. Standing at the bottom of the stairs was the blue ghostly doppelgänger that you expected to visit at some point.

     You picked your head up. Placing your elbow on the desk and resting your chin in your palm, you flashed them a bright beaming smile, “Hey Doppel, come to join me?”

     Although you knew that the devil couldn’t speak, you would talk to them as if they were able to respond; which to be fair they technically could. Your smile widened as they wiggled a bit, a sign that you'd learned meant they were happy or in agreement. The devil approached you and stood in front of the desk with a tilted head. 

     “Wanna sit with me?” you smiled as you sat up and watched Doppel wriggle faster, spreading their wings slightly in excitement, “Alright,” you stood from the chair.

     With a loud scrapping sound, you moved the coffee table out from in front of the pleather couch--making sure to give the devil enough room. With a playful huff and bounce, you sat on the couch.

     The sound of their claws daintily clicking on the hardwood floor made you giggle in amusement. They stood in front of the couch before tilting their head once more.

     “What?” you watched their hands as they gestured along the couch, asking you to lay down, “Oh? Okay, sure..?” 

     It was a bit odd since they had never asked for that before but you did as you were asked. With a curious tilt to your brow, you watched as the devil sat above you, straddling your legs. If this had been the real Vergil, you surely would’ve been crushed to death by now; thankfully, Doppel (typically) weighed almost nothing. Another laugh left your lips as you watched the dangerous devil knead into your chest with both his hands, emitting a thunderous purr; reminding you of a cat. Meanwhile, you gently ran your hands along the devil's body.

     After a minute or two, they carefully laid on top of you; encompassing you entirely. You smiled as you nestled your face into (where there typically would be) grey scales above their blue V. Carefully, they rubbed the underside of their chin against the top of your head. Between the heat and the vibrations of their purrs, it didn’t take long for you to fall asleep; forgetting all about your shop work. 

     Nearly an hour later, you were still sleeping happily with the blue devil doing the same. However, a different blue devil had come downstairs to check on you; worried that you hadn’t answered the shop's phone several times. Now, he could only stare at the sight before him. 

     The sight of you, his partner and secret romantic interest, being smothered by his own duplicate. Doppel noticed Vergil’s sudden appearance and curiously turned their head towards him. 

     With a large and envious scowl, Vergil snapped his fingers in an attempt to de-summon the blue apparition but was only met with a small wiggling motion in defiance. This movement was enough to stir you awake.

     Only having your eyes half open, you mumbled to your ghostly cuddle-bug, “Somethin’ wrong Doppel?”

     They looked down at you and back to Vergil. You turned your head to the side and became pale at the sight of Doppel’s owner. Vergil had moved further into the room and stood next to the desk with folded arms. A small blush spread across your face upon seeing his oddly casual apparel; a pair of semi-form-fitting black yoga pants and his typical turtlenecked dark blue vest. Upon seeing that you noticed Vergil, Doppel took their leave with a small chirp of happiness. 

     Vergil swallowed audibly and looked away from your eyes, a small amount of pink pricked at his features--embarrassed about this situation, “Forgive me, I was unaware of their summoning,” his voice was meek and caught you off guard.

     You smiled as you sat up, “Don’t worry about it… If I’m honest,” you placed a hand on the back of your neck awkwardly, “I actually enjoy these little visits.”

     “This- This has happened before?” Vergil’s gaze turned back to you filled with concern and confusion.

     “Yeah..?” you cocked your head slightly, “Haven’t you been sending Doppel to stay with me?”

     The twin looked at you with parted lips and wide-eyed expression; telling you that your assumption was far from correct. 

     Before you were able to question him more, Vergil went back up the stairs and holed himself back up in his room. 

     “Shit,” a loud sigh left your lips as you flung your head backwards, hitting the crown of your head on the back cushions; fearing that this would somehow bite you in the ass later.

     You waited a while to see if Vergil would come back downstairs and were disappointed when he didn’t. Another heavy sigh left your lips as you stood up from the couch and tended to your assigned work.

     After that was completed, you quickly became bored again and looked around for something to bide your time. That’s when you realized how dirty the DMC had become making you scrunch your face in disgust. So, you decided to take upon the hefty maid work and got to it. 

     Three hours of exhausting scrubbing and cleaning later, you flopped face down on the sofa, satisfied with your work. Slowly, you felt the warm gentle hold of sleep taking hold of you or was it something else? Before you could question it too much, you fell back asleep.

     After a half hour or so, you tried to turn over and felt something stop you. Irritatedly, you opened your eyes and noticed luminescent wings and arms wrapped around you. It seemed that Doppel had not only returned to you but was sleeping on top of you. 

     “Doppel?” you whispered and got a small tail wag in response, “Can you let me up?”

     They looked at you for a moment, presumably in thought, then slid off you. You sat up and let out a low groan as you stretched your arms upwards, cracking your back. The large devil sat facing you with crisscrossed legs, reminding you of how juvenile the ghost acted in comparison to its master.

     With a small laugh, you turned to put one leg up on the couch, “So… What’s with you? I hear that you’ve been visiting me without permission?” you cocked your head curiously.

     The blue devil chirped in affirmation.

     "Why?" 

     Doppel’s tail gently moved to point at your chest before laying it on your lap. Carefully, you pet the sharp scales; giving extra care to go pet down the tail so you didn’t slice your hand. 

     “My chest, huh?” you shook your head with a faint smile, “I don’t understand.”

     The light blue figure cocked its head slightly before shaking its upper body with a loud chirp. Then, they took their hands and fumbled with them for a moment, before they made a crude heart shape with their fingers. 

     With pursed lips and a furrowed brow, you huffed quietly in confusion, “A heart?” the blue devil shook with another loud chirp--indicating that you were correct, “What..? You just love spending time with me or something?” admittedly, you found that idea to be adorable.

     Doppel looked over and stared at the staircase; which you copied. 

     “Wait,” you froze and looked at Doppel with wide eyes, “You mean that Vergil-?”

     A third loud chirp came from them as they wriggled in place. 

     With parted lips, you tried to come up with a response. However, before you were able, Doppel sat on their knees, still on the couch, and poked your chest with their finger this time. 

     “Are you asking if I..?” your voice was hushed as Doppel wiggled a bit, “Oh, well- I,” you stumbled over your thoughts and words. Admittedly, you’d never said it out loud before or told anyone about how you felt for the older brother; despite the incessant pestering of Nico and Dante, “Yeah, I-” a small smile tugged at your lips as you sighed contently, “I do love Vergil.”

     The blue apparition carefully cupped your face within its hands and made an odd purring chirp noise; one you’d never heard before. They continued to purr afterwards and just stared into your eyes. That’s when you realized what Doppel was asking you to do.

     “No way,” you shook your head slightly, still confined by the devil’s hands, “I can’t tell him. Do you know how much he’d hate me over something--” 

     Another loud chirping purr cut you off; this time, however, Doppel wriggled harder and spread their wings out in clear disagreement.

     “You sure about this?” you whispered as you felt them squish your face closer together, making you scrunch up, “Alright- Alright, I’ll go,” Doppel let go of your face as you laughed nervously.

     A deep nervous feeling grew in your gut as you stood up and slowly ascended the stairs, with Doppel following suit. Once in front of Vergil’s door, you stopped and looked over at the apparition with pursed lips. Doppel decided to force things along further and knocked loudly on the door for you, making you cuss loudly at the ghostly devil. 

     The door opened and Vergil stood there with a raised brow; however, before he spoke, he noticed his Doppelgänger standing beside you. 

     “What- How?!” Vergil’s voice was angry as he glared at the blue ghost.

     Doppel straightened their posture with a curious tilt of their head. 

     The eldest twin’s lip twitched in irritation at their counterpart.

     Meekly, you broke Vergil’s death glare at the apparition, “Hey, could we,” you shrugged with one shoulder, “talk for a minute?”

     Vergil eyed you up and down, “Fine, give me a moment,” with that, he turned back into his room and shut the door. 

     You turned to Doppel and became increasingly confused. They were ruffling their top half with their wings wide spread and their tail flicking around.

     “What’s up with you?” you were unsure if they were excited or angry.

     The ghost looked at you and patted the top of your head, still wriggling around.

     With a small shake of your head, you smirked a wide smile at them, “You’re quite excited, huh?”

     Before they could give a clear response, Vergil’s bedroom door opened again. 

     The twin sighed and moved to the side, “You may enter.”

     “Are you sure you want me in your room? You never--”

     “Yes.”

     With a coy nod, you smiled, “Okay, thank you.”

     Vergil gave you a flat smile and shut the door as he watched Doppel wave to him and then fade. 

     A heavy sigh came from the twin as he stood facing the door for a moment, attempting to hide his growing nervousness. Vergil turned to face you and took a few steps closer. The two of you awkwardly stood in the middle of the open space. Admittedly, the eldest son’s room was rather plain; only having essential items, a few bookshelves, and a small desk. 

     “It’s nice in here,” you smiled and avoided his piercing gaze, “it’s very well-kempt; a reflection of its inhabitant.”

     Although Vergil was flattered by your compliment, he was uncomfortable by someone else’s presence in his space; making his tone rather snappy, “What do you want?”

     You pursed your lips and shrank down into yourself, taking his tone as a bad sign, “Doppel told me something, and I--” you shot a glance at him and noticed his brow was furrowed, “I was made to come up here to talk with you.”

     “Speak then.”

     “Well,” you bit your tongue, “you know what, never mind; just forget this happened,” with your tail between your legs, you attempted to retreat and leave, when you felt him grab your forearm.

     Without turning to you, Vergil spoke in a hushed tone, “No, I want to hear what you have to say.”

     A sigh left your nose as you turned your head to the side, looking at the side profile of the stone-faced man, “Promise you won’t be mad?”

     Vergil copied your action, turning his head to face you, “Fine.”

     Your heart rate spiked as you locked eyes with his icy eyes and a small blush dusted your face. Vergil released his hold on your arm and turned fully to see you with folded arms. 

     You looked away from him again and tensed up as you whispered, “Doppel wanted me to tell you about how,” with a scrunched face, you braced for the worst, “I have feelings for you.”

     His voice was sharp and he squinted his eyes, “What kind of feelings ?”

     With a barely audible voice and a small nervous laugh, you answered, “Romantic ones…”

     The room fell silent. A thick uncomfortable tension hung in the air as Vergil just stared at you. If he had stabbed you with the Yamato or scoffed in response; that would have been preferable then him just standing completely still and silent. A part of you wanted to bolt out the door and just run from this, but you were frozen in fear.

     “Is that your version of a confession?”

     Unable to look at him, you nodded.

     Vergil’s stare softened and he let out a gentle sigh, “Let me guess,” slowly, he approached you and stopped only a few inches from you, “my doppelgänger told you about my own feelings then?”

     With another small nod, you focused on his boots that had come into view.

     “Then may I ask why you were hesitant to tell me..?”

     You whispered, “I figure Doppel was just messing with me.”

     Vergil gave a flat smile. Gently he set his thumb and forefinger on your chin, tilting you up for him to see. Neither of you spoke as he slowly ran his thumb over your parted lips, making your face turn a few shades darker. Eventually, you met his gaze and noticed his expression had softened greatly; the first time you’d seen him this mellow. 

     Vergil whispered as he stared down at your lips, “May I..?” 

     You gave a small grin, “Of course.”

     With a very slow and careful lean, Vergil connected his mouth to yours. You sheepishly placed your hands on his sides, making him push a bit harder into the kiss. His lips were broiling hot as he slowly moved his lips against yours. After a few moments, Vergil broke the kiss off and leaned back enough to look you over; attempting to gauge your response. A small smile tugged at your lips and you noticed that Vergil had the same expression. 

     He moved his hand to rest on the side of your jaw, gently thumbing over your cheekbone, “I assume that was proof enough?”

     Curious as to how he would respond, you inched toward him and cocked your head slightly, “Mnm, I dunno; think I might need another just to be sure.”

     He shyly looked down and leaned back into you, intertwining once more. This time, however, Vergil made sure to pour everything he had into the kiss. Quickly, he moved both hands to your waist and pulled you tight to his body, making you squeak in surprise. Using this to his advantage, he pushed his tongue into your mouth. 

     After a few minutes of fervourous kissing, the two of you broke apart, breathing heavily. Vergil gently nuzzled against the side of your neck and placed sweet kisses along it; very quietly purring. 

     While the two of you were enjoying each other's embrace, a loud yell from downstairs caught your attention, it seems that Dante had returned. However, when you tried to separate from Vergil, he pulled you closer.

     “Stay, my brother can wait,” his voice was laden with a thick husky seduction as he continued to kiss down your neck, “I’m not done showing you how much I love you.”

==

ENDING NOTES: Is it weird for me to hyperlink stories that inspired my chapters or not? This is a genuine question--I don't want to seem weird, but I want to give credit where credit is due.

==

If you like this please consider checking this on my AO3. There are extra chapters and my H/Cs over there, so please consider checking them out! Comments, Likes/Kudos, and shares are always appreciated! Thanks so much for reading!! :)))

MASTER LIST FOR TUMBLR

[ghoulfuckersincorporated]

i am obSESSSSED with how you write coop 🫶 but i have to ask.. do you have any thoughts about maximus? 👀 my boy needs some loving..

General Maximus Headcanons

(NSFW under the cut)

SFW:

It was so nice to get to see this cutie pie experience a little bit of pampering when he and Lucy were staying in Vault 4. Here are some other mundane pleasures that I think he's never experienced but would greatly enjoy: the concept of a DVR, playing literally any video game on a nice PC setup, one of those solid four-poster beds, Mongolian barbecue, a full body massage at a legit massage parlor (that is, if he could be trusted to not sin all over the place in the middle of it a la that virgin guy Luanne almost married in that one episode of King of the Hill).

Zero ability to gauge friendliness. If you're nice to him, he's suspicious that you want something from him/are trying to manipulate him (or that you wanna fuck him once someone explains the concept of proper flirting to him). Struggles to make friends that feel genuine. Yearns for a type of companionship he's never had before just like he yearns for a safe home he's never really known.

Seeing him watch TV in Vault 4 made me think about what sort of things he'd like to watch, and I think he seems like he'd really like slice-of-life/laugh track type sitcoms. Something comforting and nice where people's problems are less "life and death" and more about showing that they love one another. This man would love, like, Ted Lasso.

He's real touchy about his brand scar (the whole Titus thing in general, actually). Best not to ask too many questions about it and keep quiet if he brings it up.

Much like Cooper, this man is such a sucker for inside jokes. He wants to be included so badly that feeling like he's in on a bit will make him SO happy. He'll run the joke into the ground in his excitement, but that's okay.

NSFW:

We've seen that he obviously lacks comprehensive sex education, and I think that would be a breeding ground for the guy to have a bunch of very niche kinks.

All sorts of things you do get him worked up for reasons he absolutely doesn't understand, and half the time he doesn't even really realize that what he's feeling is arousal/sexual frustration, so you may find that, early on, he gets annoyed and instead asks you to stop doing those things in front of him because they "bother him". These include: pulling your hair up away from your neck/face, licking your fingers when you eat, resting your head in his lap when he's sitting down.

Doesn't jerk off and as a result has insane nocturnal emissions about once a week. Well, he thinks they're nocturnal emissions, once someone explains to him what that is. He's actually humping his mattress to completion most of the times it happens. He assumes this happens to literally everyone.

I think he would love mutual masturbation as a low-stakes way to share some intimacy with you without having to worry about touching or being touched "right". Plus, it would be a good opportunity to study the way you like to be stimulated without feeling like a creep.

MASSIVE mommy kink. It just makes too much sense. He so deeply desires that sense of safety and unconditional acceptance that comes with having a proper 'home' that I think if you babied him a little, he'd be yours forever. Absolutely just wants to bury his face into your breasts and comfort suckle while you jerk him off. This man calls you "mama" when he cums.

[foolforharrry]

Off The Deep End

Word count: 12.8k words

Summary: Harry is scared of how much he feels and goes about it like a fucking idiot.

Warnings: There is smut. Nothing too crazy

This one has taken me forever to write and it got way longer than i intended it to. But I'm absolutely in love with them and I hope you guys like them too. But be nice to them please. They're my babies.

But I hope you like it anyway. And if you wanna read more of my work, I have it all linked on my masterlist.

Any feedback would be greatly appreciated and if you have any requests please feel free to give them to me and I will do my absolute best to do it.

Amber

“Fuck. Just like that, baby.”, Harry praises, dropping his forehead to my neck. His harsh breaths hit my sweaty skin making a shiver travel down my spine as I ride him. The need to make him feel good drowned out the burning in my thighs from the exertion.

As long as he feels good it doesn’t matter.

Burying my fingers in his damp hair, I hold onto it as if my life depends on it, the moans falling from my lips loud and unrestrained as I feel that pressure in my tummy starts to build.

With my thighs straddling him, knees digging into the mattress below us, Harry keeps his hands on my hips to guide them to his liking as he kneads the flesh of my ass. The low moans and whimpers of pleasure he lets out only fuel my own.

His hair is messy from how much I’ve pulled on it. Skin flushed and gleaming with sweat. The crease between his eyebrows is deeper than normal and his red, swollen lips are parted with needy moans.

My eyes flutter when I feel Harry place a hot open-mouthed kiss on the base of my neck before he starts sucking on the sensitive skin. Sharp stings of pain travel down my spine as he nips at the skin before gliding his tongue over it to soothe it again. It has me clenching and fluttering around his dick as I feel the unmistakable feeling of my orgasm growing as my hips falter in their work and I struggle to keep lifting myself up.

Harry must notice because he flips us so he’s on top, my head hitting the pillows next to where his just laid all without slipping out of me. And he picks up right where I left off, pulling out almost all the way so that just the tip of his cock is left inside of me before he slams his hips in, filling me all the way to the brim.

The new angle has me choking on a breath as he hits that spot that makes my toes curl and my eyes squeeze shut.

Harry supports his weight on his arms, his body hovering just above my own as he drops his sweaty forehead to mine. It feels like his eyes are staring right into my soul, pupils blown out from lust. “That feel good, baby? You like it when I fuck you like this, yeah?” His voice is deep and raspy and dripping with desire

I don’t even get the chance to answer him, interrupted by a harsh groan as he delivers an extra hard thrust that has my eyes rolling into the back of my head.

That should be answer enough.

The sound of skin slapping against skin is sinful enough. But the things Harry is saying in my ear could come straight from the devil himself.

“Fuck.”, I cry out when Harry shifts all his weight over to his left arm, attaching his thumb to my clit and rubbing it in fast, precise circles. It feels like too much and I’m gripping Harry’s shoulders as if I would float away if I let go when the intense pleasure that’s lighting my skin on fire makes it hard to breathe. Almost as if the air is too thin.

“Harry. I’m gonna-”, I try to warn him, but I’m cut off by my own moan. I don’t last as long as I would normally from all the teasing Harry has been doing all day. I’m defenceless against the fireworks just waiting to go off and make the sky bright with all the colours of the rainbow. And he knows it.

The dazed half-smirk on his face says it all as he nods, “I know, baby. Let go. Cum all around my cock. I need it.”

That’s all it takes and I’m toppling over the edge with Harry’s name on my tongue like a never-ending prayer. My cunt spasms and my body trembles with the blinding orgasm that makes my ears ring and my vision go white.

I’m so far up in the clouds I barely even register Harry’s thrusts faltering as he reaches his high not long after me.

When I’ve come down from my orgasm, it’s with Harry laying on top of me. Our bodies as close as they could physically be.

Still not opening my eyes, I run my fingers up his back, finding comfort in how warm and soft his skin is. The heat that spreads across my cheeks when I feel him smile against my neck makes me grateful that he can’t see my face right now.

I find myself not wanting this moment to ever end. Perfectly content just basking in post-orgasmic bliss and the warmth of Harry’s body. There have been times I’ve thought things couldn’t possibly get any better than they are. This moment right here might just take first place on the list though.

“You feel good?”, Harry breaks the silence, bringing me out of my head and placing a small kiss on my shoulder as he lifts himself up.

“Mhm.”, I hum, the tiredness from our activities settling in my body. “Really good.”

Even though I knew it was coming, I still can’t help the whimper from sensitivity when he pulls out. “I know, darling. I’m sorry.”

I feel his breath on my face as the mattress dips next to my head, telling me that he is hovering above me again. “Look at me.”

“No.” I shake my head, a small smile tugging at the corners of my mouth, tucking my bottom lip into my mouth when his nose bumps against mine. An explosion of butterflies erupts in my stomach from the gesture.

Harry kisses the tip of my nose, then both my cheeks before he results to pepper kisses all over my face until I’m full-on laughing, opening my eyes to find him looking down at me with a cheesy smile on his face that has his dimples carving into his cheeks. “There she is.”

The words on the tip of my tongue falter at the next thing that comes from his; “You’re so damn beautiful.”

There isn’t a hint of sarcasm or irony. Just honesty. And dare I say affection?

If I wasn’t so tired right now, I might have started running around my apartment, screaming like a crazy woman.

Cupping the sides of his face, stroking his soft, glowing cheeks with the pads of my thumbs as my gaze switches between his eyes. Taking in the gentle green with speckles of gold so beautiful and delicate my breath gets caught in my throat all over again.

“You’re a special kind of beautiful too.”, I whisper, eyes widening in slight panic when I realise I said it out loud. That is not what I meant to say. It has my heart picking up in my chest as I search for any sign that I fucked up.

My anxieties prove to be without merit when the initial look of surprise on his face is washed away by a gleaming close-lipped smile, his bunny teeth digging into his bottom lip.

An emotion I can’t quite decipher flickers through his twinkling eyes before he dips down and connect out lips in a soft, tender kiss that has my eyes fluttering close. The kind of kiss that doesn’t lead anywhere.

It’s new and unlike the kisses we’ve shared in the time we’ve known each other. But I can’t lie and say that it doesn’t have a new kind of warmth glowing around my heart.

As terrifying as it is, it’s also something I find myself craving to feel again the second he pulls away.

The sound of my alarm is what pulls me out of my deep sleep.

Drowsily and blindly, I fumble around my nightstand for where the horrible noise is coming from so I can make it fucking stop.

After a few seconds of enjoying the silence, I notice the cold, empty mattress my arm is spread out on. Cold enough for it to have been unoccupied for quite some time now.

The realisation has me sitting up quickly, suddenly wide awake as I struggle to make out anything in the dark room. The only sound I can hear is the rustling of my sheets and my own breathing.

Although the smell of him is still lingering in the air, he’s not wrapped up in the duvet next to me anymore.

My stomach sinks in disappointment and confusion.

But instead of letting myself sit and overthink it, I throw the covers off my body, shuddering as the cold air meets the bare skin of my legs. I wrap my arms around myself as I get out of bed and pad on bare feet across the floor in the dark.

I need my morning pee.

However, I’m stopped in my tracks when I spot the post-it note stuck to my bathroom mirror just after I close the door behind me.

Nearly tripping over my feet, I snatch the yellow paper off the reflective surface, squinting my tired eyes as I make out the words written in messy handwriting.

Morning, sleepy head. Sorry to run out on you like this. Let me make it up to you? I’ll call you after you get home today.

Love, H

-

3 weeks later

I’ve never really been the type of girl who gets attached.

Never in my twenty-four years of life have I walked around and waited for a boy to call me back. Reaching for my phone the second the screen lights up with a notification only to have my heart drop to my stomach when I once again discover that it’s not who I hoped it was.

“No, Bon. It wasn’t just sex. I really liked him. And I thought he likes me too.”, I sigh, already prepared for the lecture sitting at the tip of her tongue.

And she gives it. “You know I love you, but I think maybe you should let this go. I don’t know him, but I do know you. Babe, you haven’t opened up to a guy ever since Dan. We both know what happened there and I just don’t think that having the first man you let in should be someone who will just ghost you for three weeks- What I mean is that you deserve someone who doesn’t hurt you like he’s obviously doing.”

“I’m not saying that you should just forget about Harry. Because you obviously feel something for him if you’re telling me about his eyelashes.” I laugh at that because she’s right. “I just don’t want you to take another six years to open your heart up again if he breaks it.”

“He said he would call me.” I cringe at how pathetic I sound.

Bonnie sighs, “I know. I wish I was there so I could kick his ass.” “You wouldn’t.”

“Get me a plane ticket and I’ll prove it to you.” I nearly drop the lid of my coffee cup to the floor from how aggressive she sounds. If it weren’t for the fact that I know that Bonnie is the sweetest person on this planet and would never hurt a fly, I would have believed her. “I’m sure you would.”

“Don’t you have to go now?”, she asks, effectively changing the topic. And looking at the time, she is again, absolutely right. I should’ve been out the door three minutes ago.

“Shit!”, I curse. “Ok, bye Bon. I love you.” I blow her a kiss and press the red hang-up button once she’s said goodbye too.

Practically ripping my coat off the hook, I stuff my feet into my black converse, figuring I’ll tie them later as the bottom of my black, mom jeans cover the tops of the shoes. Sliding my purse over my shoulder, coat folded over my forearm and tucked to my stomach as I close the door to my apartment behind me.

Once I’m sure the door is locked, checking the handle two times, I jog down the dark, dirty green carpeted floor of the hallway where the same carpet covers the steps of the staircase the next two floors down.

The chilly, autumn wind hits my face, and hands the seconds I push open the tired, wooden front door to my apartment complex. The wind even seeps through the thin material of the white cotton shirt I put on under my favourite chocolate brown and beige sweater vest.

Thankfully, my car is parked just on the other side of the road.

I had hoped that the twenty-minute drive to the school would give me enough time to get my head sorted and a certain someone out of it. And it worked until one of his fucking songs started playing.

It had completely slipped my mind that they were on the playlist I was listening to.

The urge I’d had to cry the second his voice seeped into my ears and made every cell in my body vibrate with the allure and grace he sang with isn’t ok. It’s like he put his own special kind of magic into every single note. Every lyric.

The same kind of magic that laced every kiss and every touch he laid on my skin.

It’s that magic that’s been haunting me.

This whole day, I haven’t been able to think about anything else. My mind hasn’t been on my pupils like it should, but on him and the magic he made me feel.

Thank God, they were all angels today and worked on their essays like they were supposed to and talked quietly amongst themselves.

During fourth period I found myself wondering what kind of student Harry was.

Was he the quiet, studious type who kept to himself or was he the one who always raised his hand? Maybe he was the kid that would always try to make everyone laugh. Did he get good grades or was he barely scraping by? The only thing I’m sure about is that there is no way he was a bully.

The possibility of that is as big as the possibility of me becoming a mega-rich actress tomorrow. Less than one percent.

I don’t know if it’s the fact that Harry is the first man I’ve been with who has been truly good that has me in such a twist over him. But it could definitely be a factor in my current struggle.

As I twist the key in the ignition, turning the car on after finishing up everything I needed to do at school, I wonder whether I hate it or just strongly dislike it.

I’m going to need longer than twenty minutes to figure that out.

Harry

“I think I fucked up, mate.”

Sprawled on top of my unmade bed with my eyes trained on the white ceiling and my phone by my ear, I wait for the ‘No you didn’t, don’t be stupid.’ But it doesn’t come.

“Um.”, Mitch starts. “Fucked up what?”

Right. I’ve only walked around thinking about it constantly like a psychopath for three weeks without saying a word about it to anyone.

That would have defeated the purpose of this whole thing.

But now I’m at the point where I can’t even remember why I decided to do this in the first place.

“Remember that girl I told you about?”, I ask, chewing on the inside of my cheek.

“The one from the plane? Amber, was it?”

I shouldn’t automatically smile at the mention of her name. But there is no denying that she has a beautiful one. Nowhere near as beautiful as she is, but beautiful nonetheless. “Yeah, that’s her.”

“What did you do now?” I haven’t even told him what I think I fucked up, and he sounds done with me already.

Before I open my mouth, I take a second to gather my thoughts. “I don’t even know why I did it anymore. It was going really well. She was everything I ever fucking dreamed of. Man, her laugh did things to me. And just the way she spoke about her students. You can tell that she truly cares about those kids.”

I remember when I’d asked her about her job, she had spoken so passionately about it. But the thing that stood out to me was that she the first thing she spoke about wasn’t what she got out of it or why she loved it specifically. No. She went on about how bright the kids truly are and went into detail about them individually. I’m not even sure how long I listened to her talk about these kids I hadn’t even met. But I would have happily done it for hours just to see the way her eyes shone.

But for Mitch’s sake, I skip over all of that and get to the part where I probably blew it.

“Like, three weeks ago. I fell asleep at her place even though I knew I was going to the studio early the next morning. I stayed as long as I could. Then left a note saying I would call her. And I was going to.”

I pause and my stomach twists painfully with guilt. Now that I’m about to admit it out loud, makes me truly realize how fucking shitty this was.

“You didn’t call her, did you?” Mitch guesses, tone neutral. Even though I don’t deserve it, I’m thankful that he isn’t judging me.

“I didn’t.”

It’s nothing more than a whisper, but he still hears it. “Harry.”

“I know. I’m a fucking dick.”, I mutter, hiding my face in my hands as if that’s going to make it better. It doesn’t.

“Ok, H.”, Mitch starts. “Whether you take my advice or not is up to you.”

I hum in agreement; the sound muffled my hands.

“You’re being fucking stupid. I know you’re crazy about her. You know it even if you don’t want to admit it. Amber sounds like a great person. Do you really want to let her slip away before you’ve given it a real shot because of what? You’re scared?”

He hit the nail on the head.

“Because I don’t think you do. And it’s not like you to not do something because you’re scared of the consequences.”

“What if she doesn’t want to?” For a second, I’m not even sure if he heard me and I am fighting the urge to hang up and never leave my house and talk to another soul for the rest of my life.

“Then it’s going to hurt. But at least you’ll know. And you won’t have to wonder for the rest of your life.”

“I should have called you earlier.”, I laugh, mentally slapping myself for having been so stupid.

Mitch snorts, “Yeah you should have. Now if you don’t go try and make it right, I will personally beat your ass black and blue. Understood?”

Unable to tell whether he is being serious or not, I sit up straight, saluting even though he can’t see me. “Yes sir.”

I don’t think I’ve ever been as nervous as I am right now.

Sitting on the hard, green carpet with my back against the wall and my knees tucked to my chest. Arms around them and my head tilted back as I study the different patterns in the wooden door in front of me to keep my mind occupied.

I’m worried if I think too hard about what I’m about to do, I will chicken out and drive right back home.

My palms are clammy, and I swear I haven’t been able to take a full breath since I put on my shoes almost three hours ago.

In an attempt to not seem like a stalker, I had left the house so I would be here at half past five. And I was. Amber is usually finished with work and safe home by five.

Apparently not today.

I started on the steps outside. Then it got a bit too cold and I rang the bell of a random person and said I was pizza delivery so they would buzz me in. It worked on the fourth try. Since then I’ve switched between pacing the length of the hallway and sitting just like I am right now.

This might have been one of the worst ideas I’ve ever had.

Not counting the one that put me in this position in the first place.

Just thinking back to it makes me want to rip my own hair out now that I’ve realized just how fucking idiotic I was.

Who in their right mind finds that one person it feels like you’ve known your whole life, and when the realization dawns on them, they ghost them for three weeks? And for what? Fear of that person maybe not feeling the same way? Falling too far too fast?

If I could do it all over, I would jump without a parachute for the chance that she might end up being the wings beneath my wings that make me fly.

Which is kind of what I’m trying to do right now.

“What are you doing here?”

I’m snapped out of my thoughts when I hear her voice. That voice I’ve replayed a thousand times over in my head as if it was my favourite record.

She’s standing right in front of me. I hadn’t even noticed she was there or that I had closed my eyes, too far in my own head.

Carefully, I open one eye followed by the other. And I swear the sight in front of me has my heart beating out of my chest with excitement and my throat going dry with dread.

Pulling a smile, I wave up at her. “Hi.”

Amber

Never underestimate what a nice, long drive and a bar of your favourite chocolate can do.

After leaving work, I’d decided that I would give myself one more day to think about him. Then I’d be done. I would put that behind me. Leave it in my rearview mirror. Harry would be a short chapter in my life. Wonderful and magical. But finished.

There were tears shed and another phone call made to Bonnie for some very badly needed encouragement and reminding that I don’t need a man to be happy.

I’m not even sure about how long I’ve been out, but it’s dark by the time I hear the sound of my car locking as I sling my purse over my shoulder. I can feel the fatigue settling in my bones from the day and I am so looking forward to cuddling up with my mountain of pillows and putting on some mindless show with ice cream until I fall asleep.

The second my eyes lock on the figure by my door, I’m suddenly wide awake again. The tiredness vanished like it was never even there as I’m stopping in my tracks.

I’d recognize him anywhere.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”, I mutter under my breath. This has got to be some fucking cosmic joke the universe is playing on me.

Of course, he would show up just when I decided that I was done. That I was going to let it be and move on with my life.

This is great.

Harry has his head on his knees, arms around his shins tucked to his torso. His hair is messy. Like he either hasn’t styled it today or ran his hand through it a billion times the way he does when he’s stressed or nervous.

His fingers are void of any of the usual rings that adorn them. From what I can tell, his nails are painted black now and he’s dressed in a pair of light-washed, ripped jeans and a mint green cardigan.

By the time it’s taken me to slowly make my way over to him, stopping right in front of him, he still hasn’t moved a muscle or done anything that shows that he’s aware of the fact that he’s not alone in the hallway anymore.

I find myself wondering how long he’s been sitting out here like this. Why he’s even here? I ask him the latter, hating how small I sound, “What are you doing here?”

Slowly, he drops his arms down to his side and cranes his head until our eyes meet and I can practically see the wheels in his head turning. It’s making the crease between his eyebrows deepen further in thought before he offers me a weak smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “Hi.”

I’m not sure why, but that short hi makes me take a step back, a pang of hurt hitting my chest. But it also makes me extremely frustrated.

“Hi, Harry.”, I say, stepping around him to unlock my door, not even making an attempt to mask the anger I’m feeling right now. “You didn’t answer my question.”

He scrambles to get to his feet, stuffing his hands in his pockets with an unsure look on his face. “I just wanted to…”, he trails off, voice dying out as if he doesn’t know what comes next.

“Did you come back here just to lie to me again?” I hope he doesn’t notice the crack of emotion, my throat tight as I push open the front door to my apartment.

Taking a deep breath to ground myself, which is easier said than done since I can practically feel his eyes burning a hole into to side of my head. I turn to meet his eye, hoping that he can’t tell how much I want to cry from the look on my face right now as I ignore the look of distress on his. “If that’s the case, then please just leave.”

I fully expect him to turn on his heel and leave. Or maybe he realised he forgot some things here that he wants to pick up. And that’s why he came. Then he’ll leave right after he’s got it.

That’s more likely, to be honest.

To my surprise, Harry lets out a sudden, humourless laugh. One that I’ve never heard from him. Then he shimmies himself between my body and the doorframe and into my apartment.

The strong whiff of his smell that hits my nose almost has me dizzy for a second before I shake my head and follow him.

Confusion takes over when Harry plops down on the edge of the beige sofa after kicking off his shoes without saying a word, his right foot tapping rapidly against the rug as he fiddles with his fingers where his rings usually are.

So…he isn’t here to pick something up?

Observing him carefully, I hang up my coat and take off my shoes, placing them neatly in their designated spot as the anger and hurt dim with the confusion that’s taking their place.

My apartment might not be much, but I keep it tidy.

Harry’s silence and nervous fiddling are making me more and more nervous the longer it goes on and I wish he would just spit out what he so obviously has on his mind.

“Can you please sit?”, is the first thing he eventually says. And he says it so softly he doesn’t sound like himself.

I’d had no idea what he was going to open with, but it for sure wasn’t that. Still, I quietly pad across my living room, sitting down on the sofa with the space of one person between us. My hands stay folded in my lap as I pinch the skin of my clammy palm, looking anywhere but him.

This is not ice cream and Netflix, that’s for sure.

“How have you been?” “Fine.”, I reply automatically, “And you?”

“A dick.” He says it so matter-of-factly and quickly it catches me by surprise and I can’t stop myself from peeking over at him. He’s not wrong.

When I don’t say anything he continues, his eyes boring into mine “I told you I would call you. In that note I left you. And I swear I meant to. And then I didn’t. And I fully understand if you never want to see my face again.”

“Why? If you didn’t have time for me or didn’t want to keep seeing me, then sure. But why the fuck didn’t you just tell me to my face that you didn’t want anything to do with me? Or at least send a fucking text.” I’m breathing harder by the time I’m done talking. But I swear it feels like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders now that the question I’ve been wanting to ask him is finally out of my mouth.

Harry’s mouth opens and closes like a fish, looking like my words hit him like a ton of bricks. The way his shoulders deflated and the deep frown that settled on his face as his eyes glosses over.

And just like that the anger is back and I stand up suddenly, “You know what. I don’t want to know. Just please leave.” I point to my front door to further my point, ignoring the burning at the back of my eyes, keeping my face as hard as I possibly can. Somehow seeing him seeming so torn up over this makes it hurt all the more.

“No.”, Harry shakes his head firmly as he gets to his feet as well. That’s the first thing he’s done since I saw him today that hasn’t seemed riddled with nerves. “Let me explain.”

He takes my silence as an invitation to speak.

“I fully intended on calling you.” He takes a step forward, making me crane my neck slightly to maintain eye contact, searching his for any hint of untruthfulness. “And god did I want to. I wanted to hear that sweet fucking voice of yours more than you understand.”

“Then why didn’t you?”, I ask, hating how small I sound.

“Because I got fucking scared.” Harry takes another step, now so close that his cologne infiltrates my senses again.

I feel my jaw drop in surprise at his confession. But it doesn’t stay like that for long because Harry gently pushes it back up with his pointer finger on my chin. It’s like a jolt of electricity shoots out of his fingertip and travels through my whole body, making my heartbeat pick up and my breathing shallows at his touch.

Harry answers the question I had on the tip of my tongue before I get the chance to ask it, “I know this probably makes me more of a dick. But the way you make me feel, Ambs? It’s so exhilarating and wonderful and safe all at the same time. And that’s what makes it so damn terrifying.”

My eyes round in question as I tilt my head to the side, “Why didn’t you just tell me this instead of disappearing?”

“Because I was drowning when I met you. And I swear you took my hand and pulled me right up. I could finally breathe again. It felt like if my fears were true and you didn’t want me like I want you, I’d be thrown right off into the deep end again.”

Completely speechless at his honesty, my eyes flick between his as emotion builds in my throat again. My face is no doubt beet red. The only thing I manage to squeeze out is, “No wonder you write songs for a living.”

Harry laughs, eyebrows shooting up in surprise and I swear my heart jumps at the melodic sound. “I’m also a certified comedian.”

Now it’s my turn to laugh, turning my head to the side so I won’t snort straight into his face, my hand coming up to muffle the sound. There is no way in hell that’s true. Unless he paid someone to give him some paper that says he’s the funniest man in the business.

Immediately, Harry swats my hands away, turning my head right back with his hands now cupping both sides of my neck.

“Don’t hide from me.” It’s more of a demand than a request. I can’t even argue when he juts his bottom lip out in a pout, making his eyes round and big. His lashes are dark and long, contrasting with his pale green irises.

Tucking my bottom lip into my mouth, I fiddle with the button of his cardigan just below his chest absentmindedly.

My head tilts down, so I won’t have to look him in the eye. Now that I’m focusing on the individual stitches of his cardigan, I ask him nervously, “So you like me?”

When he doesn’t answer, I feel panic starting to bubble in my chest. My head screams that I fucked up and took everything he said the wrong way as I feel tears starting to form when he lets go of my neck. The puffs of air that fans over my forehead make my shame grow to the point where I wish for the ground to swallow me whole.

With embarrassment ringing in my ears, I go to take a step back so I’m out of his space, not even daring to look at his face. Too scared of what I’d find. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. I don’t know what I-”

I’m cut off by his lips crashing against mine with a force I haven’t felt before, his hands right back where they were before, stopping me from even taking one step as my eyes widen in surprise. Then I’m melting into the kiss, wringing the soft material of his cardigan in my fists as I kiss him back.

Every single worry in my mind went silent the second he kissed me and now it’s calm. The same way the world quiets once your head is submerged in water and all you can hear is the serene sound of the water dancing beautifully around you.

If Harry is magic, then his kiss is a spell that I would let him cast over me for the rest of my days.

“Does that answer your question?”, he asks, lips brushing against mine as he talks while his thumbs stroking my cheeks.

Our noses bump when I nod and I feel him smile against my lips.

Neither of us says anything. else for I don’t know how long. I can feel my heartbeat underneath his hands as I keep my hold on his cardigan, his chest pushing against my knuckles every time it expands. Our breaths mix in the millimetres of space between us.

All I want to do is kiss him.

The more time passes the harder my heart beats and the more the need to feel his lips on mine again grows.

At the same time, after going for three weeks without as much as laying my eyes on him. So as torturous as being so close to, and not kissing him is, I still bask in his presence. His smell and his touch. The feeling of stardust still lingering on my lips that I so desperately want to mould with his.

“I like your cardigan.”, I whisper, flattening my hands against his firm chest.

Harry sucks in a quick breath before I feel him smile against my lips. He drops his left hand to where mine are, wrapping his fingers around my wrist as he presses my hand firmer against his chest. “It’s yours.”, he confesses, tilting his head so our foreheads are aligned.

My eyes fly open as I look at him with wide eyes, pulling my face away from his. “No way! You stole my cardigan?”

He grins so wide that his eyes crinkle, completely contradicting the nonchalant shrug he gives, “Doesn’t seem like you missed it too much if you didn’t even realise it was yours.”

“Oh, shut up.”, I roll my eyes, pushing at his chest.

Without budging, he drops his hand from my wrist to my waist pulling my body flush against his. He keeps me there, splaying both his hands over the small of my back, that same blinding smile lighting up the room. “I look good in it though, don’t I?”

My arms loop around his neck, back arching as I giggle, “So much better than me.”

His smile drops, looking downright offended. “No. Absolutely not.”

I open my mouth to protest, but he cuts me off before I get the chance to. “Don’t say that shit about yourself! You’re so fucking beautiful, baby. Just having you in my arms makes me the luckiest fucking man alive.”

At a loss for words, I blink rapidly before I grip his hair with my fingers as I stand up on my tiptoes to bring him into a kiss, hoping that understands.

Everything feels right the second his mouth is on mine.

Harry groans into the kiss, his hand sliding up my back as it arches more, a shiver travelling down my spine.

Keeping my body as close as possible to his, chest to chest, Harry doesn’t take long before he switches up in a way that makes my head spin.

The soft, tender kisses left behind as he slides his tongue over my bottom lip, asking for access. There was no need for coaxing. I grant it without question, feeling heat creeping through my body at the way he teases his tongue alone mine.

Dipping my own tongue into his mouth in return, running it along his teeth elicits a groan from his throat that has my thighs squeezing together.

That moment when he switches from kissing me softly to robbing my lungs of air with deep, hot kisses never fails to make me absolutely weak in the knees.

He drops his hand to my ass, squeezing the flesh in his palm as his mouth becomes hungrier, as do my own. I tug at his hair. Hard. Eliciting a groan from the back of his throat that has me smirking against his mouth at his reaction. I don’t get to gloat for long, because Harry suddenly turns around and sits down on the sofa, not disconnecting our mouths for a second. I follow him blindly. As if I would die if his lips weren’t on mine for one mere moment.

My thighs are on either side of his and all I can taste is his mouth on mine. All I can feel are his hands roaming my body and his soft, pillowy lips. All I can smell is his musky cologne and the warm scent of his shampoo. It’s all him. There isn’t one cell in my being that hasn’t been touched by him.

I’m not sure if I’m dizzy from the lack of oxygen or the way he is kissing me so deeply, but if I died right now, I would die a happy fucking woman.

As if he knew exactly what was going through my head, Harry gives my lips one final peck before he’s nudging me to tilt my head up and to the side with his nose for better access. He leaves hot, open-mouthed kisses along my jaw until he reaches the spot on my neck that’s just below it.

I can’t help the loud gasp I let out at the sensation when he alternated between sucking, licking and nipping at the skin of my neck and throat. He keeps at it until I’m squirming in his lap, throbbing with need.

Right now, I can’t even find it in me to care that my neck is most likely going to be littered with love bites in the morning.

Harry drops his hands to my hips, dragging them forward so I’m sitting right on top of his bulge, both of us gasping at the contact. I can feel him hardening through the material of our clothes, and it’s making a new wave of desire fly through my nervous system.

His head falls to my chest when I roll my hips forward experimentally. The whimper he lets out spurs me to keep doing it.

“Can I take off your shirt?”, he asks, his cheeks flush with red as he looks up at me. His hair messily lays over his forehead. The sweat that’s started accumulating on his skin makes it stick to his temples.

In this moment, Harry could ask me to jump off a roof and I’d ask if he wanted me to do a flip too.

“Please.”, I practically whine, brushing his hair out of his face before laying a tender kiss to the space between his eyebrows. His eyes flutter close for a second at the affection and I swear I could scream from the butterflies in my tummy.

Harry kisses the tip of my nose just as he drags both my sweater vest and shirt up my body. I lift my arms to help, left in only my bra as he discards my clothes somewhere. Eyes locked with mine, his fingers drag down my sides slowly in a way that has a shiver going down my spine.

When he does let his eyes wander, I don’t feel a hint of uncertainty or insecurity. All because of what Harry says under his breath; “Jesus fuck, you’ll be the death of me.”

“Maybe I should cover up then.”, I sing song, pretending like I’m about to go looking for my shirt again. But Harry is having none of that, gripping my hips and planting me right back down in his lap. “Fuck no.”, he says, guiding my hips to grind against his again, “I’d drop dead right now as long as I got to feel you.”

My breath quickens with the stimulation I’m getting from the way he drags my core against his solid erection. “it’s not really fair that I’m the only one topless, now, is it?”

The faintest smirk spreads on his face when I undo the two buttons on his cardigan, the simple white t-shirt he is wearing underneath revealing itself as he shrugs the cardigan off, throwing it over his shoulder. And God does that t-shirt look good on him.

It hugs him in all the right places, tight around his biceps and just sheer enough to be able to see the silhouettes of his tattoos through it.

Harry lets me take my time admiring him with his t-shirt on before I decide it’s time to rid him of that too, lifting his arms to help me get it off. “You feel better now?”, he asks with a laugh.

I just nod, unable to take my eyes off the artwork that is his body. It doesn’t matter that I’ve seen him before. His soft, golden skin stretches across his toned, defined muscles. Dark ink decorates his skin so perfectly. Soft hairs scattered over his broad chest so deliciously. The ferns tattoos that are partly hidden by his jeans have my mouth watering. Every dip and curve of his body is perfection and I have the urge to pinch myself to make sure I’m not dreaming.

I don’t realise that I’ve just been frozen, staring at him until I feel Harry pinch my side lightly, amusement evident in his voice, “Are you ok, baby?”

“Mhm.”, I hum, sliding my hand tantalisingly down the front of his body, his stomach sucking in with the sharp breath he takes. “Wanna know what would make it even better?”

“What?”

Harry swallows hard when I dip my finger just underneath the waistband of his jeans, leaning forward so the side of my face is aligned with his, his hands tightening on my hips when I tilt my head, lightly kissing and nipping at his earlobe.

“Your cock down my throat.”, I whisper in his ear as if I was telling him my darkest secret, gracing my fingertips over the bulge in his jeans.

He drops his forehead to my shoulder with a groan sounding so wound up I can’t help but laugh, earning myself a smack on the ass. “It’s not funny.”, Harry grumbles.

“Do you want to whine about that, or do you want me to give you head?”, I ask after placing a kiss on the top of his head.

It’s almost comical how fast he straightens up, his eyes darting between mine. “Please.”

Shocked at how fast he got to the state of saying, please, I still decide to not make it too easy on him. “Please what?”, I ask as I start leaving open-mouthed, hot kisses down his jaw, latching onto the sensitive spot just below his jaw while palming him through his jeans.

Harry tilts his head, his chest rising faster than before. “Please touch me.”

“Now that wasn’t, so hard, was it?” I pull away from his neck with a pleased smirk on my face, I brush the pad of my thumb across his bottom lip, nearly losing my composure when Harry wraps his lips around my finger, holding it in place with his teeth as he sucks on it.

But I regain it fast enough, patting his cheek when he releases my thumb with a pop. I can tell that he has something to say, but he bites his tongue. Probably so I will give him what he needs. Which is exactly what I’m gonna do.

Sliding off his lap and settling myself on my knees between his spread thighs. I leave a trail of wet, open-mouthed kisses all the way from the base of his throat to the fern tattoos that lead right where he needs me the most.

Glancing up at him, the look on his face gives me a large confidence boost. Swollen, red lips and his delicate features hardened with lust and impatience. The way his chin is tucked against his chest, his eyes locked on me as if he would doesn’t want to miss a single move I make. His breath falters when I begin unbuckling his belt, licking his lips in anticipation.

If it weren’t for the fact that I don’t have a shred of patience left in my body, I would’ve dragged this out much longer.

Harry lifts his hips to help me get off both his jeans and his underwear in one go, his body sagging with relief once he springs free. I scoot a little bit away to allow him to kick them and his socks off his feet before I shuffle back, sitting on the back of my heels.

And God does he look heavenly. Love bites are already starting to form in the path I took down his body. His hair a mess and his bottom lip tucked under his teeth. His cock is resting against his stomach. Fully hard, almost to the point where it looks painful.

My mouth waters at the sight of him.

I look back up at him, about to open my mouth. But he seems to have read my mind, “Just touch me? I’m dying. Please.”

He doesn’t have to ask twice.

I spit in my hand before I wrap it around him, using my spit as lubrication as I teasingly pump his solid length. The second I touch him his abdominal muscles tense and his hands curl into fists. It’s when I twist my hand around the head of his cock that his mouth parts, “Fuck that feels good.”

Without stopping what I’m doing with my hand, I kiss the soft skin of his inner thighs, the muscles tensing in response when I leave a love bite on the sensitive skin. Harry tucks my hair behind my ear, directing my attention back to his face where he’s got a dazed look in his eyes.

Like I did to him, he traces my lips with his fingers, eyes hooded as he twitches in my hand.

Leaning forward, I take his tip into my mouth, giving it a gentle suck after tracing the prominent vein with my tongue. Harry moans a praise when I take more of him into my mouth, hollowing out my cheeks as I work the head of his cock with my mouth and tongue.

Pulling back momentarily, I gather my spit in the front of my mouth before I let it drop the short distance. He hisses as the glob of saliva makes contact with his sensitive tip before we both watch it drip down the side of his length, leaving a shiny trail in its wake.

“You’re gonna be the fucking death of me.”, Harry breathes out when I take him in my mouth again, this time going further. I hum, the vibrations from it have his jaw going slack as his muscles tense. His hands pull my hair out of my face, gathering it in a ponytail as I bob my head up and down his dick. I use my hand to jerk off what I don’t have in my mouth, his velvety skin wet with my spit.

When Harry’s hips start to thrust up to meet my mouth on their own accord, the broken moans spilling from him, I take a second to prepare myself before I take him all the way, my eyes watering as he curves down my throat and my nose brushes against his pelvis. “Oh, fuck.”, he curses, fingers tightening in my hair making me whine at the sting. “That’s it. Such a good girl, oh my god.”

I let him take the lead, moving my head with the grip on my hair to meet his thrusts as he fucks my mouth just how he wants. The head of his cock hits the back of my throat each time, spit dribbling down my chin.

Looking up at him through my lashes. I would happily die like this if it meant I’d go out being the reason for his pleasure.

The sweat glistening and reflecting the light has him looking otherworldly. His face and neck are flush with colour. Ragged breaths, whimpers and moans escape his strained throat as he gets closer and closer to reaching his orgasm.

Locking eyes with him, the corners of his lips quirk up in a blissed-out smile that’s quickly wiped off when I swallow around him, his head falling back and his abs quiver. “I’m gonna cum. Fuck. If you don’t want-”

I cut off his warning, bobbing my head without his prompt to tell him that I want him to. After that, it doesn’t take long for him to reach his climax.

And when he does, it’s with a shout of my name on his tongue.

His thighs and abdominal muscles shake, moans and whimpers spilling from him like I’ve never heard before. Spurts of hot, salty cum shoot from his dick and I swallow everything, helping him through his high.

Harry is panting slightly when he comes down, eyes still hazy. “You feeling ok, baby?”, I check as I get off my now sore knees and sit down next to him, body facing his.

“I’m fucking great.” A lazy grin graces his beautiful face. His kind, eyes twinkle as they meet mine. “You’re bloody amazing. You know that?”

I raise an eyebrow but can’t help but match his smile, “Am I amazing or are you just in another world right now?”

“Why can’t it be both?”, he shrugs, laying a kiss on my bare shoulder.

Giggling, I press my lips to the top of his head, “You’re something else, aren’t you?”

“You say that as if it’s a bad thing.”, Harry pouts as he looks up at me, his face still holding an ethereal glow that has me wanting to smother every inch of it in kisses and affection.

I twirl a longer strand of his hair around my finger before tucking it behind his hair. “It’s quite the opposite. I love that you’re yourself so unapologetically.”

When I notice Harry’s eyes gloss over momentarily, I worry that I said something wrong. But before I get to ask what’s wrong, he grabs my face in his hands and kisses me. Long and hard, his nose squishing against my cheek before he pulls away momentarily. He then moulds our lips together softly one, two three times. So tenderly and delicately I almost can’t bear it.

Brushing his nose with mine, Harry whispers against my lips, “I wanna make you feel good.” If my heart wasn’t beating fast before, it definitely is now.

“Will you let me?” He kisses the corner of my mouth and I feel his hand move to my thigh. His other hand hovers just over the clasp of my bra as he makes his mouth busy kissing down my jaw.

“Yes, please.”, I say, nodding feverishly not even caring how desperate I probably sound.

He laughs fondly, pressing a kiss to my nose as he undoes my bra with expertise. “Tell me what you want, and you’ve got it, my eager girl.”

Trailing my finger up his back, I bite my lip to keep my smile at bay. “Anything?”

Harry carelessly throws my bra to the side, placing a kiss between my breasts. “Anything.” Hand creeping further up my thigh, my legs spreading on their own. “Do you want my hands?”

“Yes.” If he doesn’t touch me soon, I feel like I might die from the burning ache between my legs. And it only gets worse and better all at the same time when he wraps his lips around my sensitive nipple, his warm, wet tongue flicking over it. I can’t help but throw my head back with a whine.

Snaking his hand from my back, gracing the underside of my boob. It has my spine curving, chest pushed out further and Harry hums, seeming pleased with my reaction. He switches to suck on my other nipple, leaving a trail of affection between the two.

The attention to my breasts only has the need to feel himself somewhere else growing by the second.

And does he fucking know it.

Harry looks up at me, his eyes narrowing as he smiles at me in satisfaction. “Do you want my mouth?”, he asks, batting his eyelashes at me as if he were innocent. He is anything but. “Maybe both?”

Cupping his face, I say in the most serious tone I can muster at the moment; “If you don’t stop teasing, I’m gonna fucking do it myself.”

“Oh well, then.”, Harry chuckles, getting down on his knees before me, undoing my jeans before tapping my hips. “Let’s take these off, shall we?” Not wasting a moment, I lift my hips as I help him wiggle them off along with my panties, leaving me fully naked and exposed.

“So fucking beautiful.” Harry drags his eyes over my body, seeming to take in every curve and dip like he’s admiring his favourite view. The crushing vulnerability and lack of uncertainty he seems to instil in me in moments like these can only be described as intoxicating. Leaving me with a mind centred around him and him alone.

Gentle touches and kisses that are meant to be of adoration, but they have the pit of desire and arousal in my stomach near unbearable.

Wrapping his arms around the backs of my thighs, Harry drapes my legs over his shoulders, making my body slide further down on the sofa. I can feel his breath fanning over my soaked cunt and it’s sending shivers down my spine.

Catching his eye, Harry maintains eye contact as he drags his tongue through my folds, painfully slow. The vibration of his hum has my breath caught in my throat as I lace my fingers through his locks.

When he teasingly licks at my clit, a whine leaves my lips. A whine that turns into a moan when he suddenly sucks the bundle of nerves into his warm mouth, caressing it with his tongue at the same time.

The way he is alternating between licks and kisses that are barely there and the eye-crossing, powerful motions has reduced me to a panting, moaning mess before I even know it. My skin feels like it’s on fire, sweat making my hair stick to the side of my face and neck. Sounds of pleasure come out with no care.

It’s like the rest of the world has faded away and I’m hyperaware of every touch from Harry.

His strong, muscled arms wrapped around my thighs. The way they squeeze around my upper thigh. One hand on my thigh and the other on my hip. How warm his palms are and the way the hand on my hip is inching closer and closer to my pussy where he is eating me out like he’s a starving man. The slight stubble on his face brings that slight sting along with the little nibbles from his teeth that only make that feeling of ecstasy grow stronger and more powerful.

Deep moans and hums against my nerves that have me throwing my head back, my own fingers pulling his soft, damp curls tighter. That same head of hair brushes against the skin of my inner thighs.

Mindless praises fly from my mouth, messy and intelligible. Not that he seems to mind. With each choked word of encouragement, he gets just a little bit more eager.

I force myself to peel my eyes open, needing to see him.

There is something about taking in the man on his knees between my legs. So attentive to my reaction to everything he does. His pinkie finger barely brushes the fleshy skin of my hip and he doesn’t seem like he would rather be anywhere in the world but right where he is. And even though he is literally eating me out like a thirsting man, I realise it’s not close enough.

I can’t keep the tears from falling when I do from the pleasure and the surge of emotions that has a pathetic sob erupting from my chest. The second he hears it, his eyes fly open, and he stops immediately.

Concern laces his features as he takes in the tears rolling down my cheeks. “Darling, what’s wrong?” He lets go of my thighs, both sliding off his broad shoulders as he shuffles to get up from his knees.

The intense, overwhelming fire of pleasure fizzles out but I can’t even find it in me to care. All I want is him as close as humanly possible.

“Need you.”, is all I manage to croak out, nuzzling into his hand when he cradles my face. Harry swipes my tears away with the pads of his thumbs, only for more to fall as he tilts his head in confusion. “I’m right here, baby.”

Taking a deep breath in an attempt to calm myself down, I press a quick kiss to the inside of his wrist, my hand wrapped around his forearm to keep his just where they are. The smell of his skin filtering through my nostrils soothes me as his voice does. Enough to take a deep breath and allow my heart to slow down.

“I need you inside of me.”

“Oh.”, his mouth forms into a small o-shape before it morphs into a smile that matches the crinkles by his eyes. “Are you sure?”

I nod fervently, mirroring his grin.

“What my girl wants, she gets.” Harry pecks my lips, my eyes fluttering close as I hum against his lips, elongating the kiss with a hand switching to the back of his neck to keep him in place as I trace his bottom lip with my tongue.

The taste of myself on his lips makes my stomach twist in desire and need, gripping his hair tighter when Harry suddenly manoeuvres me around so my back hits the cushion of the sofa and my head falls into the throw pillows stacked at the corner. His lips are quick to find mine again, moulding together in lust and passion. His hips drop against mine and I cross my ankles against the back of his thighs. My left thigh is slightly squeezed between his body and the back of the sofa.

I gasp at the shock of pleasure that goes through my system when he shifts his hips, his rock-solid cock rubbing against my sensitive folds, no doubt soaked by my arousal. Needing to feel feeling again, I buck my hips up against his, jaw dropping when Harry meets my movement with a whine against my mouth.

“Baby, please.”, I beg again. It almost hurts to be so close to where I need to be but still not quite there.

With one last kiss to my lips, Harry shifts all his weight to his right elbow tilting his body to the side as he positions the head of his cock right at my entrance. “You ready?”, he asks, searching my eyes for any sign that I’m not.

The second he has the ok to, he pushes in slowly, eyes locked on my face the entire time as mine threaten to close. “Oh my- Fuck.”, I pant.

The overwhelming stretch of him followed by the pleasure that only grows the further he sinks inside me is a feeling I am never going to get tired of. Neither is the look of concentration and bliss etched on Harry’s face. His pretty lips parts with a soft moan as his eyebrows pinches together.

This is what I needed. To be as close to him as physically possible. My hot and sweaty skin ismflush against his. The way his grip on my thigh gets harder momentarily when I clench around him unintentionally. Our noses nearly touch from how close our faces are. Every single one of my senses centred around him.

Once he’s all the way in, tip nudged against my g-spot deliciously, his now glossy eyes dart between mine. I can practically see the wheels churning in his head as he lands on the words he utters so quietly it’s as if he’s telling me something sacred and just for us. “Missed you so much.”

My throat tightens with emotion, and I can once again feel my waterline overflow with salty tears as I tuck my bottom lip into my mouth. “I missed you too.”

I really, really did. But I don’t want to think about that right now.

He seems to catch on because instead of saying anything else, he draws his hips back until just the tip of him is left before he pushes in to the hilt again. He puts more and more force behind each thrust every time until he finds the one that has me clutching onto his shoulders, nails no doubt digging into his warm skin.

Moans fall freely from my lips as my eyes fall shut. Harry drops his forehead to mine when I move my hips to meet his. “Fuck me. You’re doing so fucking good for me.”, he pants.

Before long, I’m right back at the point I was before. A ball of tightknit pleasure in the pit of my stomach that makes my body tingle in anticipation. The wet sounds of mine and Harry’s arousal mixed with skin slapping against skin are filthy and only push me closer and closer to my high.

I can feel myself clenching and unclenching around Harry’s cock as he keeps his thrusts the same steady pace.

He connects his lips with mine again although neither of us can concentrate on keeping it anything but messy. One particularly well-angled thrust has my jaw nearly dropping to my chest and my eyebrows scrunching together in pleasure as it hits my g-spot perfectly.

“Right there.”, I gasp, burying the back of my head further into the pillows, tears leaking from the corners of my eyes and down the sides of my face. “I’m so fucking close.”

Harry keeps his thrusts exactly the same, murmuring praises and encouraging words in my ear. The warm air from his breath fans across my neck and when he latches onto the damp skin, suctioning it hard before he glides his tongue over it, it’s the final push I need before I’m finishing.

My eyes roll into the back of my head as ecstasy rushes through every nerve ending in my body. My heartbeat is pounding in my ears as I feel myself hold onto Harry like my life depends on it. And he doesn’t stop either.

He keeps working me through my high with increasingly sloppy strokes of his hips. His name is like a never-ending prayer as I finish out my trip to heaven. The sound of Harry’s moans like a distant symphony of angels.

At last, coming down from my climax, I’m having a weird sense of Deja-vu.

Weighed down entirely by Harry’s body like a big, warm blanket of safety and home. His arms are wrapped fully around my torso. His face tucked into the crook of my neck, hair sticking to our sweaty temples. A serene silence surrounds us and reflects in my own mind. Our hearts aligned both physically and metaphorically.

We’re in our own little bubble of post-orgasmic bliss and comfort.

Every so gently, I trace the shapes and dips of his back and shoulders with the tip of my fingers. Keeping my eyes closed I try to memorize this exact feeling. Mentally filling up bottle after bottle after bottle with it.

The delicate pucker of lips against the crook of my neck has my heart doing somersaults in my chest and a lazy grin spreading on my face.

“He’s alive.”, I whisper. “It’s a miracle.”

Soft melodic laughter reaches my ears shortly after I feel him laughing on top of me. Another kiss.

“Since when was I dead?” His voice is muffled but I can still understand him perfectly.

My hand drifts to the back of his neck, twirling his hair around my fingers. “One starts to wonder when you’re laying like the dead.”

Removing himself from my neck, he cranes his neck, making me tuck my chin down to look at his face.

Why does he look so good?

“You’re comfy and warm.”, he says matter-of-factly. Hair messy on his head and his face still has a flush of colour to it.

The instant pout his face adopts when I lightly pinch the flesh of his side is one I wish to frame and keep in my wallet. “Could say the same thing for you too.”

“Good.”, he smiles, seeming satisfied with my answer. He stuffs his face right back where it was, wiggling to get comfortable again.

The wiggle reminds me that he is still tucked inside of me, and I almost feel bad for what I’m about to do with how content Harry seems to just stay like this. “H, we gotta get up.” “Or we could just stay here.”, Harry hums, not moving a muscle.

“We’re gonna ruin my sofa if we do that.”, I explain, waiting patiently for him to connect the dots in that beautiful mind of his.

And when he does, he sighs. “I’m so tired.”

“We can take a bath, yeah?”, I suggest when he reluctantly lifts his head again, brushing back the hair that’s fallen over his forehead with my fingers. “Get all nice and clean. And if you want you can stay over?”

“That sounds nice.” He really does look tired.

Smiling softly, I place a short peck just where the faint shadow if his dimple is. “I’ll get it ready and you just relax, ok?”

“Yes ma’am.”, he grins, before pecking my cheek three times.

Unsticking his body from mine slowly but surely, he says sorry when as pulls out, kissing my shoulder apologetically at the same time. The sensitivity has me hissing through gritted teeth, but the second he’s out, I miss the feeling of being full of him.

Stupid, comfy sofa.

“I’ll be right back.”, I promise as he plops down on the sofa, pecking his cheek as I find both mine and his underwear on the floor where we discarded them earlier. Sliding my panties back on, I take the route behind the sofa on my way to the kitchen, dropping his next to him as I do.

I can feel his tired eyes on me as I shuffle around the kitchen, grabbing a large glass and filling it with water. I take a few sips of the cold, refreshing liquid before handing it to Harry.

He takes it with a grateful smile, “Thank you, baby.”

“You sure it tastes bad?”, Harry questions for the fourth time, the now lukewarm water splashing as he sticks his knee out of the water again. Shaking my head, I momentarily stop kneading his shoulders. “It’s soap, darling. Of course, it tastes bad.”

The top of his back is almost dry now from how long it’s been up from the water. A few droplets here and there drip from his hair down the nape of his neck before trailing down his strong back and into the water.

Why he is so insistent on knowing what my ‘fruit bowl’ body wash tastes like? I have no idea. But can’t say it isn’t nice to get this side of him again though.

Between the small talk we’ve made about everything and nothing and the body wash questions, my mind keeps drifting off to how only hours ago I thought I wouldn’t see any side of him again. Lavender oil and bath salts sadly aren’t a cure for worries and negative thoughts.

Worry that even though he said he regrets it, he is going to disappear again. That he’ll get spooked and be gone for good. It feels like right now is too good to be true.

It’s too good with him to be true.

I do believe that he meant it when he said that he likes me. I believe his reasoning for what happened. But I still can’t help the anxious pit in my stomach that he’ll be gone in the morning again like before. But I don’t want to drag down his good, relaxed mood and make it all serious and tense again.

For the time being I’m going to bask in the sunlight that is Harry. Regardless of the clouds thundering around inside my head.

I’m brought back to reality when Harry twists his upper body, the water splashing in small waves as he does. “It’s getting a bit cold.”

“It is.”, I agree. I honestly have no concept of just how long we’ve been submerged in water and lavender together. Harry makes it feel like time goes so fast while stopping at a standstill all at once.

But judging by the serious case of raisin hands we’re both sporting and the fact that I was half asleep at one point, I would say we’ve been here for long enough.

We rinse off in the shower wrapped up in each other’s arms while the bathtub drains. I have to physically take the fruit-scented body wash bottle from his hands as he kept saying he was going to squirt some in his mouth and swallow it.

We stand side by side, now wrapped in towels. Mine knotted over my chest and around my hair. His are low on his hips. Although he doesn’t really need it, he still chose to wrap his hair up in a towel claiming that I shouldn’t shame short-haired people when I asked him why he did it.

Harry looks how I feel right now. Like he could fall asleep standing upright.

Meeting his eyes in our reflection, I lean my tired body against his, smiling through my toothpaste when he slings his arm around my shoulders. “You feelin sleepy, Ambs?”

I nod, finishing up with my teeth so I can spit the toothpaste into the sink. After rolling water around in my mouth to rinse it out, I step aside to let harry do the same thing. He shouldn’t be able to make something so simple as rinsing the toothpaste out of his mouth look good.

An uncontainable, sleepy smile creeps up my face when he leans over me to reach the jar of moisturiser by the mirror. Something about how he unscrews the lid and scoops some out then applies it to his slightly tan face makes me all warm in my heart.

I didn’t realise I was just blankly staring at the side of his face until he suddenly twists his head, a shit-eating grin on his shiny face as he smears something chilly and moist across my forehead with the pad of his thumb. Humour and laughter in his tone as he says; “Simba.”

It takes me a few seconds to connect the dots. When I do, my head falls back in laughter.

“You fucking idiot.”, I shove at his chest, not even making Harry budge. My stomach is still tight with giggles and I know that my cheeks are making me look like a chipmunk from how wide my smile is.

Unphased by my insincere insult, Harry drags the product from my forehead down the bridge of my nose and across my cheeks with one finger before he switches to using both of his hands to massage the familiarly scented moisturiser into my skin. I let my eyes fall shut and enjoy the relaxing motions of his fingers, a blush spreading on my cheeks when he traces my lips. A whisper of “beautiful” reaches my ear as he does.

He is going to give me heart palpitations if he keeps going like this.

“What time do you think it is?”, I ask when I open my eyes, my heart beating a little bit faster when I catch his intense, moss-green eyes.

With his hands still holding my face, Harry kisses my forehead, making my heart skip a beat again before he says; “I think it’s time for us to go to bed.”

Nodding, I let my hands find his hips, smoothing my fingers over the supple skin. “I still have the clothes you left.”, I tell him, watching as his face softens entirely. “Oh. And you also left your guitar.”

“Surprised you didn’t burn them.”, Harry teases, his cheeks gaining a pink tint.

I shrug my shoulders. “If I burnt it, I couldn’t get rich selling everything on eBay, now could I?”

“is that all I am to you now, hm?”, he raises an eyebrow in question. “A way to make some easy money off my fans?” I can tell by the playful glint in his eye that he knows I’m not serious and is playing along.

Truth is that even if I never saw him again, I would probably keep the articles of clothing to myself to serve as a reminder that it was all real and not just a figment of my own imagination.

At least that’s what they’ve been over the past three weeks.

“I have a jar of your hair hidden in my closet.”, I add, relishing in the sunny glint in his eyes shining just as brightly as his smile. Harry shakes his head with a hearty laugh as he brushes up the tip of my nose with his finger. “Let’s get to bed, yeah?”

Agreeing, we make our way to the bedroom where I hand Harry the bag of his stuff that he’s left behind previously, landing a sweet kiss on his shoulder before I shuffle over to my closet.

Once I’ve slid a fresh pair of underwear up my legs, I grab the white beastie boys t-shirt I may or may not have adopted as my sleep shirt lately and pull it over my head. The fabric is soft and cool against my skin, ending just below my butt.

“Ok, I see how it is.”, I hear from behind me just before I feel a pair of arms snake around my waist from behind.

Leaning into the warmth of his body, my back against his front, I place my arms on top of his. “And how is that?” Harry hums in my ear, swaying us from side to side slowly and I can feel his heartbeat through the thin layer of cotton separating us.

“You give me grief about stealing your cardigan. Yet here you are in my clothes. Wanna explain that to me?”

“Are you sure you want me to?”, I ask, turning around in his arms. I loop mine around his neck, curving my spine so I can look at him. The half-smirk tugging at the left corner of his mouth has butterflies swarming my tummy.

When he nods confidently, I do just that. “Because it reminds me of you. And I realised I liked that. So why wouldn’t I wear it?”

Even in the dim lighting shining in from the hallway, I can see his cheeks turning a shade darker before moves his head closer. I can feel his breath against the shell of my ear as he speaks, “Can I tell you a secret?”

His voice is low and deep, so so close, and all I can do is nod my head once. My heart is beating hard against my ribs and I’m very aware of how his hands are locked at my lower back.

“I like it better on you.”

-

I really hope you guys liked this!!

if you did please do leave a comment, like or reblog. And feel free to let me know if there is something you want me to write.

[askaalaska-vdeppressed]

Eskel X Reader Kinktober: Day 4

(it's cock warming today but I didn't wanna put that in bold letters in the header. also yes I was kinda rushed today)

Rain pelted the ground outside, weighing down leaves and flowering things as it hurtled unceremoniously to the earth. Animals huddled into their burrows, safe from the angry clouds that tantrumed over them. Eskel and Y/n were like minded. The pair sequestered in the small cottage as the autumn storm rained coldly outside. Y/n was sat on the floor in front of an easel, brush gliding over canvas. She was painting the view from the window that afternoon. The leaves, bright and beautiful, were falling so gracefully that she had to capture the scene. 

Eskel was sat in an armchair by the fire, caring for his sword. His eyes occasionally flickering to Y/n, she had been there all afternoon. Unwavering in her attention as she mixed pigments and looked at her canvas from all different angles to make sure she was capturing everything accurately. It had grown dark now and Eskel would be lying if he said he wasn’t feeling a tad jealous. It felt silly being jealous over a piece of stretched canvas, but he was. Y/n hadn’t even gotten up to eat, just shrugging him off when he suggested lunch that afternoon. 

Eskel set his sword down, waking over to his enraptured lover and sitting down beside her. His head leaned against her shoulder. 

“You need to eat love” he rubbed his cheek against the soft cotton of her dress. 

“I will when I’m finished” She replied, not looking up from her work. Eskel huffed. 

“And how long will that be exactly?” he questioned, turning his head so she could see his face in her peripheral. 

“Not long now” She muttered, tongue jettisoning out of her mouth as she concentrated. And oh how that tongue caught Eskel’s attention. Sitting innocently over her sinful lips. Eskel knew the things that tongue would say. It was only she who could turn him into a mess simply by her words. But not just her words, that tongue was capable of much, much more. 

Eskel moved to sit behind her, hands rubbing her arms as he mouthed at her neck. He targeted the spots that made her weak. Slowly migrating his hands from her arms to worm their way down the front of her top. 

“Take a break” he muttered into her skin. 

“I can’t, I need to blend this while it’s still wet.” she said, eyes losing focus at the edges of her vision, from exhaustion or the haze of pleasure she wasn’t sure. Most likely both. 

“Eskel” she said now more sternly. “Do what you want to me, I’m not cracking.” 

“Is that a challenge?” He asked, eyebrows raising in internest.

“Only if you want it to be” she said with a smile on her face. This would be easy. 

It was not easy. 

Y/n had forgotten just how skilled Eskel could be with his hands. He had played her like a fiddle over her clothing. Then when he had tired of that he ripped open the back of her dress, sliding the sleeves down as much as he could without disrupting her hands. He then set to work lavashing her back with love bites. 

Her sleeves being so low irritated her greatly. That combined with the fact that she didn’t want to repair all of what she was wearing tonight made her stand to strip. Standing in her front room nude. She then moved to sit back down and continue. Just as she was about off balance while sitting Eskel struck, pulling her down onto his lap. 

She let out a huff as she landed, perturbed but not about to give in. She simply adjusted her self and started up once more. It was in adjust however that she felt the very familiar weight of a cock at the apex of her thighs. Eskel must have stripped himself when she had, probably thinking she had given up. 

Not that easily she wouldn’t. 

As she painted, Eskel gave small jolts to rock himself between her lips. His cock hitting her clit each time. Y/n bit her lip, trying to keep the growing wetness below her to a minimum. When she leaned forward to use her fingers on the canvas, Eskel’s hands lead her back, readjusting her seating ever so slightly so that on the next rock Eskel gave the head of his cock slipped in. 

Y/n expected this to go much like the initial teasing had. Him moving slowly so she wouldn’t notice as much. But after he had sheathed himself he just stopped. 

Just sat there and waited. 

At first Y/n was fine with this, she was making much faster progress now that he was no longer moving her. However Eskel was big. He filled her completely, which meant that with every little movement she made he was pressing against her sweet spots in the most delicious of ways. 

She found herself biting her lip, impatiently twitching the muscles in her thigh as she worked. This wasn’t fair, he was supposed to be touching her, pleasuring her, trying to get her to crack. Instead he was still, arms behind him as he leaned on his elbows, a smirk blatant on his face. 

It was at least fifteen minutes of this torture before Y/n concided and decided the painting was good enough. 

“I’m finished” she said, relief in her voice as she felt his hands at her side once more, guiding her up and then off. Eskel shuffled behind her, peeking his head over his shoulder. 

“It looks good babe, but you’re sure your done?” he questioned, leaving kisses once more in the skin of her shoulder. 

“Yes absolutely. Finished as could be” she said, looking over the canvas. It was impressive for sure but not nearly as refined as her normal work. 

“Great, than you can go eat now.” Eskel said cheerfully. It took a moment to register what he was saying, swfitly turning her head as she saw him leave her to go to the kitchen. 

[thrashkink-coven]

One thing I love so much about Father Lucifer and Lord Leviathan…. you know what, Prince Cerberus and Faviel too… is their pure patience and understanding of the human condition. It’s something that organized religion never allowed much space for in my experiences. We are always expected to make the best choice. To be pure and clean, to be better than yesterday.

Right now I’m working hard on improving some skills. I am disabled, I suffer from neuropathy and a chronic migraine disorder. These last few years I’ve been struggling with it really bad, but thanks to some new meds and some good habits I’m more or less coming out of my bad rut. My spirits have been greatly aiding me in getting back on my feet (literally).

But some days, like today, I just… don��t care. I wanna smoke weed and be lazy all day. I want to jerk off and eat like shit and let the dishes pile up. I want to be a nothing person, just for a little bit while I work up the motivation to do better tomorrow, and if not tomorrow then maybe the day after that. Whatever, I don’t care, at least not today. I don’t want to be mindful, I don’t want to be enlightened. I don’t want to make art or be inspired. I just want to be a slob.

And you know what? That’s OKAY!

Working alongside these powerful entities can sometimes feel like I have to be on the ball all the time. I have to be this living God who is always improving and learning. But I don’t, and they don’t expect me to be.

As much as they want my initiative and commitment, the truth of the matter is that I’m human. I’m not an angel or a God, that’s a good thing. It’s amazing that I get to witness and learn from these incredible spirits whilst still having the comfort of my human limits. I’m a human, not a machine, I can’t be great all the time. Being hard on myself won’t make me grow faster, it’ll just make me miserable during periods of rest.

Lucifer encourages indulgence but not depravity. Today I came to him and basically said “Father, I’m sorry I’m so tired. I’m sorry I haven’t been reading. I know I should be doing better. I don’t know what’s wrong with me… I honestly just want to crawl back into bed right now. Show me how to get rid of these feelings.”

and his response to that was “There is nothing wrong with you. Get some rest. Indulge in your pleasure and heal, human. If the moon can wax and wane then the human spirit can certainly do so as well.”

which honestly was not the answer I was expecting. I was expecting “discipline yourself”, “repeat this affirmation”, “get off your lazy ass, you’re better than this”.

Lucifer is always quick to put me on the right path when I’m swaying into bad habits or depressive states. But he assured me that that’s not what I’m going through right now.

“A lack of progress is not equivalent to failure.”

It affected me deeply to be called “human” by him like that, like he branded me with a definition. Feeble human who wants to be so much but can only do so much. Little human with enormous dreams and aspirations. Oh you, little human, don’t you know that you’re so small? Don’t you know that you are of the world? Can’t you just rest for a day? Can’t you just accept that? Don’t you know you are human?

It’s an interesting thing to think about when sitting before someone like Lucifer, who is always so beautiful and perfect in every way. Unnaturally so, inhumanly so. Making that sharp distinction between me, human, and him, God made me feel… understood…

Lol, something about that is so characteristically fatherly of him. It immediately made me feel so much better.

Within Christianity there’s this hard emphasis on being as much like God as possible, and as little like a human and possible, because humans are naturally bad and sinful. But I have to keep reminding myself that Im not stuck in that worldview anymore. I don’t have to be like God because Im not a God. Im a human. That’s a very very good thing. Being a human means that I get to witness God without the burden of being one. That’s incredible.

So today, I will probably just do a lot of nothing. Maybe I’ll go on a walk later and feed some crows. Whatever I do, I don’t have to feel guilty about it. I’m only human, after all.

Thank you, Father Lucifer. I love you.

[tojisun]

Sun!, I would like to start by saying that I greatly admire your talent and ability to write. The way you are able to create stories, is simply fascinating. Every word you put on paper seems to have a unique intensity and depth. Your writing conveys such strong and immersive emotions that it feels like I can feel every feeling, every shiver, and every moment of tension. It's incredible how you capture these elements and convey them in such a vivid and impactful way.

One Of The Girls reminds me of the early stages of the reader's 'relationship' with toxic!biker!simon. Where the reader wants to be one of the girls and fully immerse themselves in Simon's life, even if it's just scraps of an unhealthy love (that never was).

Daylight, oh my God, it's the mid-stage, where the reader is not just with Simon because of his looks... But because she loves him, but at the same time she discovers how much he harms her, but she doesn't want to leave him, she can't, because she always goes back.

Elastic Heart is their final stage in the relationship... As you yourself said, sun, my sunshine. The reader will have a happy ending, but not with Simon. It's when she will realize that their "Relationship" was never so healthy.

So, sun!, look, my future husband, Leon Kennedy. Shhhh... Simon can't know-. But I've already moved on from toxic!biker!Simon-.

This is my husband, my current obsession, the muscles-.

oh my god mocha?? thank you so much for such kind words– im genuinely melting, giggling underneath my blanket and kicking my legs because of how thoughtful and kind this!! because of how thoughtful and kind you are!! im seriously speechless, unable to think past the giddiness rushing through me like, thank you again sweet luv <33

i am so so happy that u enjoy my works! that somehow, along my ramblings and run-ons, i was able to convey the emotions of a specific scene/fic :’> im glad that u get to enjoy interpreting it too!! (especially because biker!simon became such an endearing group project that i adore. i get so heart-achingly happy when i see ur guys’ asks n links n tags!!!)

time for the songs:

OH MY GOD??? ONE OF THE GIRLS BEING READER BEGGING SIMON FOR A SCRAP OF HIS AFFECTION – “we don’t gotta be in love / i don’t gotta be the one / i just wanna be one of the girls tonight” – OH I AM UNWELL!! and the way the song fully presents their ‘relationship’: how it’s a plea from the reader, how she tries finding love from him in something thats only physical and ephemeral, how he extends an inkling affection only to pull away and leave her with nothing. again.

(heaving so bad rn)

I DIDNT EXPECT DAYLIGHT TO BE PART OF THE TOXIC BIKER SERIES BUT I SEE IT SO CLEARLY!! “oh i love it and hate it at the same time” – the way she knows their arrangement is harmful to her, and the way she knows it’s laughable and pathetic how she’s always the one doing the running and waiting, but she can’t stop because when simon calls her, sometimes she thinks it’s love. AND the part that goes “hiding all of our sins from the daylight / … / you and i drink poison from the same vine” SHOWING THE WAY SIMON NEVER BRINGS HER TO HIS HOME. AND HOW SIMON, for all his tomfoolery and bitching, GRAVITATES TOWARDS HER. HOW HE COMES BACK TO HER TOO.

(im probably gonna gnaw my lip off at this point from how much im biting)

SIA AND ELASTIC HEART IS ALSO SMTHN I DIDNT EXPECT IN THE ROSTER AND YET IT MAKES SENSE HOLY SHIT. “you did not break me (but) i’m still fighting for peace” IS READER WHEN SHE MET PRICE HELLO? the way she was hesitant to trust him. hesitant to like him because she thought, ‘not again’. but then price shows her how it is to be loved. to be prioritized. to be cared for. and yeah she starts letting go of simon and starts forging a relationship with price and!!! SHE WILL BE HAPPY I PROMISE.

(i feel like a marionette. untethered and floaty because this whole.. meta? is so fucking good oh my god)

-

THATS LEON KENNEDY? UM. THE ARMS? THE CHEST?? THE HARNESS??? THE HAIR????

pause.

THE BIKE?????

somethings shifting in my brain hold on hold on hold on hol

[blimbo-buddy]

The idea of a bug killing a bird the same way they slay a bat.

The idea of one of these bugs (I'm gonna use my snowberry clearwing moth character as an example) outmaneuvering them into an accidental trap and killing them. Accidental being that Snowbelly ran straight into burrow or fall log and something above just crushes the bird. Possible a large branch.

Snowbelly crawls out of their hiding place when they hear muttering and looks under them. The pooling red liquid. The unmoving body and the still feathers.

The bird is dead. and they killed it.

Bugs crawling out of their hiding places, witnessing what happened. They began crowding Snowbelly, this lad is in so much shock they're dragged away to news began to be spread.

"Hail the birdslayer! Terror of the skies vanquished by brave moth!"

brings good and bad attention. This was an accident. Snowbelly didn't mean for the bird to die. They didn't want die themselves. They tried to explain it but no matter how they try to bring their explanation. It wasn't heard.

He's a hero.

Snowbelly doesn't want to be a hero. They want to go home and drink nectar in their bush.

What were they given as the token of a gift for their great deed?

The same bloodied feather in their stained claws.

(I realized too late I misspelled Snowberry's species as Snowbelly so this guy's name is just Snowbelly because I can't take it back now and I actually like this name because their belly does look like it's coated with soft snow lol)

I also wanna note the feather is clean. Snowbelly is clean of blood. There is no blood actually on them but they only see that red liquid staining their legs. The splash of blood on their face when the bird was crushed. The bird no longer making a sound..

The blood on them is meant to be what Snowbelly sees themselves as. Just a cold-blooded murderer.

Soo... what'd ya think? :D

Okay first off:

I fucking dig the idea of a "heroic" birdslaying bug feeling immense guilt over taking a life

Yes, the life tried to kill them, but was it worth shedding innocent blood over? They try to pin the blame on the stupid animal; why couldn't that dumb bird just given up the chase?!

But then guilt comes back up; No, they shouldn't blame the animal for acting on their instincts, they were so hungry. What if the bird had babies, god, they're just awful! They should have let themselves die!

This idea does actually inspire me with some rough ideas for Butterfly and Moth culture (If what you also would like to go for is an identity crisis for the character: Are they a moth? A butterfly? Who do they belong to, what culture is theirs?!)

Butterflies value a bird's life, seeing intense beauty in the avians. Even the most bland looking bird holds extreme worth to a butterfly

Butterfly culture greatly shuns the killing of any bird if it is to happen

If a dead bird is found, many butterflies will flock to the corpse to mourn it. Chasing off any fly nomads while doing this (Until they leave the body for nature)

Moth culture on the other hand despises a moth killing another creature

Moth society consists of pacifists

This very much causes lots of holes in the law to be exploited, "But it was in self defense!" "It was an accident!"

They believe that the light of the moon goes back to the sun, to which the sun exposes the moonlight sin to the daylight world, drawing in more enemies for vengeance

So depending on if this character has an identity crisis, as far as they're concerned: They're now shunned from both of their presumed cultures. Butterflies for killing a bird and Moths for killing at all. They are socially outcasted now. No sense of purpose. The other bugs will see them as a hero, but those two? They see them as a blood-stained monster

Just the fact that Snowbelly views their newfound status as a birdslayer as a burden and curse is so cool, I love it when characters try so hard to avoid the curse of fame, but by running away from it, they fail to notice that they've actually been running towards it. [Insert that one quote from Kung Fu Panda about how running from one's destiny leads them to confront it]

And the feather gift? Wooh boy, Snowbelly trying their hardest to get rid of it, throwing it in the water, burying it, anything. It keeps coming back to them somehow. Is the feather mocking them? Is this some sick joke? God I can't get over Snowbelly's character, their spiral downwards from the fame and infamy is amazing. Bravo Kit, bra-fucking-vo

[brighteyedbushybrowed]

𝐂𝐨𝐩𝐢𝐚 𝐏𝐥𝐚𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐌𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐫 𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐓𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐬!𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐒𝐰𝐢𝐬𝐬

𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 2033 words.

𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬 I just know that Copia would 100% play matchmaker with his ghouls and their romantic interests. He just wants to see everyone be happy and thrive and he's so valid for that. After this fic, I'm gonna start writing things more out of order as they come to me, so make sure to refer back to the Bloody Mary universe masterlist if you wanna read them in chronological order! I've checked through to make sure I've not used gendered pronouns or terms for reader but if I've missed any please let me know!

Time passed and Copia watched as yours and Swiss’ friendship began to blossom more. What must have been a month after your first time hanging out together, the former cardinal mentally took note of the way the multi-ghoul began to change. It was subtle, but he knew him well enough to notice his demeanour alter over time. Instead of changing the way he was around the siblings of sin in accordance with their needs, wants, and overall mood, he seemed to act more like himself in and out of the dens. He was relaxed, laughing and smiling more around the ministry, and Copia knew it was all down to you. So much so, that he began to grow a little more intrigued.

After Swiss returned home from yet another day of spending time together downtown, he approached the ghoul in the den kitchen.

“Swiss, my friend,” he started, hoping to god he wasn’t being too obvious, “you have enjoyed yourself today, yes?”

The multi-ghoul frowned at him as he stirred his coffee. “Uh, yeah, I guess?”

Copia nodded. “Good, good! That’s wonderful to hear. What did you and your friend get up to today?”

A smile crept onto Swiss’ face. “Well, we grabbed some lunch and went to the arcade for a few hours. They won me a stuffed toy from the claw machine, we tried out one of those dance games, there was a first-person shooter – ooh, we played some air hockey too! I managed to beat them, but it was almost a tie. They’re actually kinda competitive once they get into it, it was cute.”

“Oh? So, you think that Y/N is cute?”

The ghoul blushed. “What? No. I didn’t say that.”

“But you did!” Copia was smirking now. “You said they were cute when they got competitive.”

“No, I did not.”

“Now, now, I think it’s lovely that you have found somebody you see in such a way.”

Swiss glared at him. “What way would that be? We’re just friends.”

For now, Copia was ready to drop the topic and move onto something else. “I see. My apologies, I’m just so happy that you are enjoying yourself so much and building a relationship with them.”

Before the multi-ghoul could respond, he swiftly left the dens and made his way back to his office.

***

A couple of days later, Copia was surprised but pleased to see you sat beside Swiss at the back of the room for his sermon. You’d come to the ministry to spend the day with him and, instead of waiting in his room down in the underground dens, you decided to attend the sermon with him. He expected you to find the service boring, knowing that not everyone enjoyed Black Mass as much as he did, and yet you seemed to be enraptured the whole time. A couple of times he’d caught you shushing Swiss out of the corner of his eye, nudging him as you kept your eyes on Copia as he preached.

He didn’t realise until after confessions were done for the day that you had stayed behind after the sermon until he noticed you staring up at one of the stained-glass windows, admiring the unholy artwork. Putting on his professional Papa face, Copia approached you and placed a gentle hand on your shoulder.

“Thank you for your attendance today. I’m sure Swiss appreciates it greatly.”

You smiled at him and shrugged. “I’ve always been curious about the ministry building up on the hill, you know? You hear so many awful, judgemental things out there about this place and the people inside. None of you seem as dreadful as they make you out to be.”

He chuckled. “Ah, give us some time and someone will give you a reason to believe the rumours.”

“Nah.” You glanced back at the vibrantly coloured glass. “Satan worship aside, you all seem pretty normal to me. I don’t think I’ve met anyone aside from my best friend who so casually accepts me for who I am without asking invasive questions or making me out to be some brave little soldier. Whatever you may believe here, you teach your followers love, respect, kindness, acceptance. There are religious zealots out there who treat me far worse than anyone here would.”

Copia sensed something underlying your words. Would it be rude to pry? Would it scare you away from the ministry and, by extension, Swiss? He couldn’t be the reason you ended your friendship with the ghoul.

The former cardinal decided to change the subject. “Swiss has told us that you’re hoping to become a writer one day, yes?”

The spark in your eyes made his stomach flip. “I’ve got a book in the works, yeah. The plan is to make it into a series or at the very least a trilogy. I’ve been doing research into demons and ghouls for it, but some of the material just doesn’t feel up to par.”

“Ah, of course. The town library is sorely lacking in that department.” Copia hesitated. “Why not use the resources we have here in our library? As a church dedicated to Satanas, we have a wide variety of books on demons and the like.”

“Are you sure? I wouldn’t want to impose.”

He nodded, gesturing to the mural of Lucifer in the stained glass. “Our Dark Lord would be overjoyed at your eagerness to learn about his demons and ghouls. As long as you don’t try to take any of the books away from the abbey, I see no reason to deny you access, ah?”

After you thanked him profusely, Copia watched you hastily leave the room and turn in the direction of the library. While he may not have asked you the things he wanted to ask, he had still learnt something about you that he could store away in his brain for a later day.

***

After another week of you and Swiss clearly pining over one another in and out of the abbey, Copia had had enough. It was clear as the blackened sky to him that you both cared for another as more than friends but were either too stubborn to make the first move or doubting whether the other reciprocated or not. He’d had a few conversations with you since that moment after the sermon and came to realise that you had a thing for the ghoul, just as Swiss was practically head over heels for you.

And so, after practice one afternoon, he pulled his ghoul aside for a private conversation, locking the door to the practice room so they couldn’t be interrupted. He regretted this action, however, when he saw the way Swiss wiggled his eyebrows at him.

“Now why didn’t you just say so if you wanted me all to yourself, Papa? I would never have pegged you as the secret rendezvous kinda guy,” he teased, making Copia groan.

“Oh, Lucifer, give me strength. This is why my hair is turning grey.”

The multi-ghoul smirked as he pulled at a strand of his Papa’s hair, sniggering when his hand was lightly smacked away.

“Listen,” Copia sighed, “it is time for you to, how would you say, grow balls.”

Swiss furrowed his brows. “It’s time to what now?”

“It’s time for you to admit your feelings to your friend. And before you try to deny it, I have seen the way you both look at each other. You both care deeply for one another and if you don’t take your chance now then someone else may get in there before you do.”

The ghoul’s shoulders deflated in defeat. He rubbed his hands down his face, a drawn-out sigh leaving his lips.

“That’s easy for you to say,” he replied bitterly. “This isn’t your friendship on the line. If things don’t go to plan, I could lose one of the most meaningful friendships I’ve ever had. I know that’s cheesy and sappy and shit, but it’s true. Their friendship means the world to me.”

Copia gestured for Swiss to take a seat beside him as he sat down on one of the practice room chairs. He waited until they were both comfortable before he spoke.

“Sometimes, we must take risks. We don’t get far in life if we never take the leap of faith for the things we want. You wish to take things further with them, yes?”

“Well, yeah, but –”

“Then you should tell them! Yes, things may be awkward for a short while if they reject your offer, but I doubt they’d allow your friendship to deteriorate because of it. They are strong and care for you deeply.”

Swiss was quiet for a moment, lost in thought. Copia gave his shoulder a reassuring squeeze then got up to leave.

“Ponder it for a while. I’ll support whatever decision you make, but I strongly feel that not giving this a chance would be something you regret.”

***

swisscheeseghoul Hey, mind if I ask you something?

Swiss was already regretting his decision, but there was no turning back now. He wasn’t a ghoul that backed down and he knew he would be doing a disservice to himself if he started doing so now.

transreader69 Sure sup 😊

He took a deep breath, reminding himself of Papa’s words, and typed out his response.

swisscheeseghoul Ok pls feel free to say no or tell me to back off, but I was wondering if you wanted to maybe go on a date sometime? I’ve really enjoyed spending time together and I’d like to see where things go between us if that’s something you’re comfortable with?

The moment the message was sent, the ghoul locked his phone and threw it down on his pillow. His stomach started churning, a stream of doubts and deprecation at the forefront of his mind. You were one of the most interesting people he’d ever met and felt a connection with you that he hadn’t felt with anyone else before. Yes, there had been past partners that he’d cared for, but none of them made him feel the way you did. He was always looking forward to your messages, whether it was a full-blown conversation or just sharing a video or meme you’d seen that you thought he’d enjoy. He didn’t want that to end because of his stupidity if he completely misread the situation and made you feel awkward around him.

The soft pinging of his phone had him practically snatching the device back into his grasp as he unlocked it and read your response.

transreader69 Omg are you being serious? Pls tell me you’re not fucking with me rn istg

swisscheeseghoul It may be hard to believe but ye I’m being serious. I love every minute that we’re together and would kick myself if I didn’t ask you now before someone else does

Swiss had never been so anxious to get a reply. He was used to putting himself out there, flirting with anyone who seemed interested and comfortable with him doing so. This felt completely different, however. In those past scenarios there wasn’t as much on the line. If a sibling rejected him, they could continue at the ministry and say nothing of it as they carried out their duties. A ghoul’s rejection never held any hard feelings – it was just the ghoul way. But with you? He valued you and your friendship deeply and losing that would take a little while to recover from. He was so used to having you around and being part of one another’s lives that he didn’t want to imagine having to go back to the way things were before you met.

transreader69 Just so we’re clear this isn’t a joke? This isn’t Sodo stealing your phone and messing with me?

The multi-ghoul couldn’t help smiling.

swisscheeseghoul Nope, all me. I care about you a lot and I wanna see how things pan out if that’s something you’re also up for?

transreader69 Kay, why not? Let’s give this a go

transreader69 And for the record, I care about you a lot too. Pick me up tomorrow @ 7? We can go get dinner or smth 😚

swisscheeseghoul 7 tomorrow. Got it. It’s a date 😘😘

[ariella-schoenheit]

🌞 you're my sunshine 🌞

Valeria x reader

A/n: Idk if it gender neutral but I never specified the gender. Just fluff and love. Mentions of spicy themes but not too bad. Once again. I didn't re read this I'm going feral y'all.

(I need a Valeria/Rudy/Alejandro/Simon in my life.).

Valeria thinks of you, her lovely partner. Often. She hopes that she comes into your mind as much as you into hers. It drives her to be more productive at work, so she can come home to her sunshine lover.

You've met her family and they loved you eventually, after winning all their hearts like how you did to hers. You remained true to your intentions and your little quirks and antics have become endearing to them.

Valeria is greatly relieved that her family loves you the same way she does, maybe even more. One less problem out of the way.

"A gentle soul to calm the hot fire of Valeria Garza." They would say. You smiled gently as they proceeded to shower you with love, trusting that you wouldn't break Valeria's heart . Although if Valeria was the one who broke yours, she would not hear the end of it. That's how much they love you.

Sometimes they marvelled at you could calm her wildest fire with your mere touch. Valeria was one of the more troublesome kids in the neighborhood and is no different in adulthood. As El sin Nombre, she's bound to run into heaps of troubles.you would go out of your way to prepare a nice surprise for Valeria, whether it be cooking her favourite meals or wearing that laced lingerie she loves so much...

Valeria hates to see you upset. She want to see that pretty smiles of yours with your Rosy cheeks and gleaming eyes. If she's the cause of the upset, she would feel different levels of guilty, depending on what your upset about. You rarely ever have major agreements but when you do, she makes sure both of you are at least in a safe space. Goes stiffly says she going out to clear her head and leaves you in your room. Last thing she wants is to lose you over things that shouldn't be said.

She makes it up by small but noticeable gestures, and mutters a "I'm sorry mi amor, can we not fight?it breaks my heart to see you like this" in your hair as you cuddle in bed the morning after. She absorbs anything you say to her, she's able to take it.

" Do you even know how much it worries me? I'm so riddled with anxiety and you ran brazenly into the gunfire! How could you do that?"

She hugs you tight, her heart swelling up at the thought that you care for her wellbeing. She promises she'll be careful and does exactly that. She does everything she can to make it up to you and she holds her promise.

Valeria spoils you to death. Anything you want, you get. That cute designer bag you briefly glanced at? It's on the dining table the next morning she has to leave early. Or the seasonal fruit that has an ungodly price tag attached to it? You have a whole carton waiting for you, only the freshest and best of the bunch. But you don't ask for much material things. You simply ask " what time are you coming home?" and she's ordering everyone to work twice as fast and hard to go home early. The pests that don't wanna pay up? Gone. The pesky government agencies trying to bust her business. Done and dusted. She arrives home at around lunch time and you're pleasantly surprised. You spend the whole day doing alot of wholesome things before the mood changes at night ;)

ARGH IM SO DOWN BAD AND IM NOT GONNA TRY TO GET LMFAO 😆😆

[alvojake]

So I have a few asks in my inbox that I am going to work on this weekend on top of reorganizing my PC binders 🫠

I am still slowly working on six feet under pt. 2 so don't fret and if you'd be so kind as to stop asking for the next part so often that would be greatly appreciated bc tbh that only makes me feel more unmotivated to write it, but I swear I'll have it out within the next week 🙏

I'll probably work on the next part of taste of your sins afterwards but I have a few wips that I wanna push out first!

The company has yet to send me the supplies to send my phone to them so it's still cracked to all hell 💀 but still works so thank the love of all things for that.

One last thing is I do have a Jake smau in the works and still trying to figure out when a good time to publish it would be, but I'll lyk when!

[umbylievable]

More shit copy-pasted from my logs w rebs:

Mostly I just wanna draw comics of my au where Damian sneaks out to hang with Jason and give him the details on what's going on w the joker and Jason is blasting some loud vulgar music in his car and Damian is like "Father says I'm not allowed to listen to this" and then pulls out a vape pen. Jason shifts into older brother mode "woah woah woah who let you smoke? That shit is bad for your growth. What are you, like 10?" "I'm 14 and it's weed you dickshit" "oh. Well pass that on over. I've had a rough day" "all your days are rough days" "don't I know it"

"so what's that fucking clown up to?" "Honestly? Absolutely nothing" "you're shitting me" "yesterday he replaced one of Bruce's smoke bombs with a confetti bomb. This morning he was over making toast and Alfred had to tell him not to stick a fork in the toaster." "He should have let him" "that's what I said" "nothing else? No bombs, no hostage situations, no joker gas?" "The worst thing he's done is mix stripes and plaids." "Damnit. He's playing some kind of game. There's a long con in here, I just know it" "I hate to be the one to say this, because frankly I think he's an air-sucking nuisance who would greatly improve the general quality of my life by not existing, but I think he may have gone straight Jason" "there's no fucking way. He KILLED people" "so have I. So have you" "...shit. that's not the same. The people he's killed were innocent" "are any of us truly without sin?" "Ok stop hitting the pen you're getting philosophical on me."

"I'm just saying it's hard to qualify innocence Jason. The people we killed probably had families that cared about them. Their loss isn't tempered by the idea that their loved one was wrong in some way" "ugh Bruce's bleeding heart ideology has wormed its way into your brain I see" "I'm not saying I agree with it. Just offering perspective" "yeah well I don't like it. I'm keeping this vape pen, it's making your brain too big or something" "I'll just get another one" "how the fuck are you getting away from Bruce to buy drugs anyway?" "I'm not." "Oooh...the Kent kid" "he's useful for certain things. I make use of him." ":3 you liiike hiiiim" "kill yourself Todd"

[silvertsundere]

Silver Talks AniManga (16/07/23)

wow actually on time for once impressive myself, a p chill week, tho I wanna catch up to something again soon, only got a couple more series to do before I fulfill my goal of being caught with everything on jump and then I can start branching out to other stuff I've had an eye on for a while but anyway

blue - finale/completed

Anime

Pokemon Horizons Ep13

after 2 weeks of absence the pokemon anime is finally back, tho this one was kinda like a recap episode for half of it while the cast had a picnic. they teased the possibility of roy catching a new mon next ep but we'll see how that goes since riko isn't getting one too for the new few episodes (based on the revealed titles)

Atelier Ryza Ep3

a cute episode overall, centered around ryza using her alchemy to help people around the island now. also greatly enjoy all the ryza x klaudia food, just for me 🙏 also, when they had that magical girl transformation esque scene for when she crafted last ep I was like "that looked way too good for them to not reuse it" and they did, just significantly shortened so lol

Zom 100 Ep2

good ep, I was worried abou them being able to keep up the quality from ep 1 but even if we didn't get any fancy sakuga this time the quality was still good. the new girl is cute and kusunoki tomori did a good job as her. next ep is the mc's friend which I assume is the blonde guy from the op/ed (and that I think was cameo'd on a photo near the start of the ep), and the next ep will be the samurai girl? haven't read the manga so completely blind

Manga

Saihate Quartet Ch18 (Finale)

honestly only started reading this cause I wanted to post the tokusatsu reference panels and I'd feel bad doing it without actually reading it, and also cause it landed on a not very busy day. it was alright tho, it's a comedy so it's very "you either like it or don't", the concept is p fun but shallow, more suited for something like a oneshot I think, I don't regret reading it tho, it had it's moments

Dandadan Ch113

the climactic finale to the big alien invasion team battle, maybe anyway good chap, that flashback page with the cute okarun momo moments was good and it also had 2 of yukinobu's signature "how can this series be weekly" spreads

The Ichinose Family's Deadly Sins Ch33

they spent all this time skirting around the older brother's story, taking many detours along the way for other stuff. this chap they finally revealed the final piece, he was the one that saved them from dying in that one car crash that put tsubasa in a coma, dying in the process himself.. only for it to be revealed a couple pages later that he's still alive??? I really don't understand what the hell ichinose is doing, really is a sad state of affairs when this can go into the 30s when better stuff gets axed way earlier

Blue Box Ch109

lots of cute chinatsu faces in this chap and finally saw hina again after what feels like a billion years. hype for the next chap tho should be getting some very cute scenes 👀

Cipher Academy Ch32

the final match of this tournament arc is finally here and it's.. a game of that of all things? I was wondering how the hell they were gonna incorporate codes into that but they did it in a way that makes sense looking forward to how this goes

Martial Master Asumi Ch5

very cool chap, letting nito show off how strong he can really be when he's not holding back for some reason tho he's totally gonna get clapped next chap

Sakamoto Days Ch127

the first of the slur fights is over and it was really good. good guys ended up losing as I expected but at least they managed to really fuck up the girl which should make things easier in the future, tho I'm hoping heisuke is the one to take her down as payback for this fight

Undead Unluck Ch167

woulda liked to see more from this fight but it was good anyway, even got feng's backstory and the reveal that he's a negator too tho I figured that'd have to be the case. curious to see who the next member is gonna be since we're still missing quite a few

My Hero Academia Ch394

the longest fight in the whole manga is finally over sheeesh not in terms of raw chapters amount but when it started vs when it ended cause it had a ton of stuff in between, it was good tho. not much more left now, I think just all might and AFO and the deku fights are left? getting closer and closer to the end OH today was also the 9th anniversary celebration colour page, I wouldn't be surprised if they had horikoshi keep this going til the 10th anni just so they can do special merch for tha occasion but we'll see

Akane-banashi Ch70

incredibly good chap, don't really got much more I could say than that, just wow, god akane is sooooooo good. anyway now that akane's performance is done I'm p sure my previous prediction about the placements is gonna be true but ofc I still want her to win instead

[wadameloan]

Song Recommendation:

I truly recommend i want war(BUT I NEED PEACE) by Kali Uchis; it’s a great song explaining the importance of how a toxic relationship can affect the victim drastically.

The scene is built with a piano of sorrow and is lead with a chorus of pain. “Time too precious and my patience thin.” The relationship is at the beginning of its end and she [Kali Uchis] is accepting that it was never worth her time and he made her less patient; waiting for him to do good in the relationship and to help her heal.

“My mind and my soul is the weapon, and every failure was a lesson.” Her feelings were being manipulated by the other person, and she recognizes it, calling the entirety of the situation a lesson; building herself back up. “It’s time to stop blocking these blessings.” She tried and tried to make things rights and he never let her do so.

“See, I just wanna grow into my greatness, I wish I had the time that you’ve taken.” She was being stopped from achieving her goals because the guy was being controlling and her time was wasted greatly on him.

“Cause I got needs, yeah I got needs.” She’s finally realizing she need to put herself first. “I want war, but I need peace,-” Shes being the bigger person and moving on from the situation. “-and you kept on calling me crazy, but maybe that’s how god made me.” Realizing his manipulations. “Take a look at what you made me ,calling me crazy, that’s what you made me.”

The second verse is her explaining what she believes she deserved in the relationship, after it’s over. “Look at the mess I got myself in. I don’t wanna get numb to the feeling-“ She’s grieving of the pain of leaving him. “When will all my sins be forgiven.” She’s giving herself self-doubt because she let him treat her like that and she believes it’s her fault. “Hope you pin me to the wall like a painting. I just wanna kiss on my neck bone, I just want some head and a few wet kisses to make it all better.” She wanted sexual love from him but he never was able to give her that. “Ripped up my old love letters; tick tock, you got me fed up. Used up your chances, held my heart for ransom.” She’s having a harsh time passing from it; states that he would even play with her heart in exchange for what he wanted. “And now a new man treated me better that you did. Get my pussy wetter than you did. You know it have could’ve been you and me. That’s all I wanted it to be. That’s all I wanted it to be.” She moved on with a new man that treated her right and gave her what she wanted in a relationship. She states that if he treated her right, it could’ve been him and her like that, and she wanted it that way.

The chorus wraps up Kali’s feelings and makes it clear that she doesn’t care about him anymore. “But I got needs, yeah I got needs. I want war, but I need peace. And you kept on calling me crazy, but baby, that’s how you made me. Take a look at what you made me, calling me crazy, that’s what you made me.” She finally accepts that she wasn’t born crazy, he made her crazy, but giving the idea of her being delusional and not over it by calling the ex-lover ‘baby’.

The ending has the same sorrow piano but, with realization of the entire story and how she felt, she makes the piano sound more of a mnemonic relief with. the last 11 eleven notes being a sigh of relief.

Kali Uchis is talented. as she fits a toxic story of a relationship into just 2 minutes and 40 second and being able to change a tone of a piano with a short story. The entire relationship is told through the Extended Play of TO FEEL ALIVE EP , with the first two songs telling a story of a beautiful relationship and what Kali is willing to give to have it her way. In total, there are four songs in the EP, with the last two being a detailed explanation of her side of the ending of the situation ship.