#incorrect tony stark

[definitly-not-harley-keener]

Spider-Man: (who pushed his body as far as it would go and farther for the last decade) *finally breaking down*

Spider-Man: oh now how could this happen? No one saw that coming.

[vyynn]

Tony: Who told Steve that kms means keep myself safe?

Peter: Listen, I panicked and accidentally said the wrong thing.

Steve, texting in the avengers group: I don't need backup for the mission! I'll kms.

[ivebeenmade]

"Procedure is often how you're screwed." Stark's favourite lawyer.

[thewrittenpodcast]

Principal: unfortunately we had to call your mother in

Peter: may won't pick up

Principal: no not your aunt. your mother

Peter: i don't... have one?

Principal: says here one Viginia Potts is listed

Peter: i have never met a virginia in my life

Pepper, walking in: i was called

Peter:

Peter: your name is virginia?

Peter: my life is a lie

Peter: how can I go on

[ramen8008]

I believe if Loki shape-shifted into Tony nobody would notice for a concerning amount of time. Cause both of them are such divas

Two scenarios.

One, Tony is gone on some business thing and Loki wants to have fun having control over everything.

First he avoids the avengers because he thinks they'll know.

But a few run-ins later he is getting oddly concerned as to why nobody realizes it's him. So he tries to see how far it can go

Steve: Hey Tones we need you in the hall, Clint-

Loki: No

Steve: understandable. Its his problem he can stay stuck

--------

Bruce: why is everything floating?

Loki: because I'm making it

Bruce: oh alright. Just glad not another one of your machines went rogue

Loki: ?????

------------

Thor: Thanks for the pop-tarts, Stark!

Loki: I did nothing. I hope you choke on them

Thor: oh so humble! You did buy so many that I could choke!

---------

Rhodey: *stares*

Loki: what

Rhodey: *squints eyes*

Loki: *confused and anxious* why are you doing that?

Rhodey: you aren't Tony *walks away*

Loki: wait HOW DID YOU KNOW?! Where are you going-

Rhodey: Tony needs a break, I'm not stopping this

----------

Peter: Mr. Stark! Look at this!

Loki: Don't bother me

Peter: .... Mr. Stark?

Loki: what did I say? I'm busy. Go away you pest

Peter: ....

Loki: ....

Peter: ....

Loki: *concerned at the sudden silence*

Peter: *looking absolutely terrifying and ready to fight* you're not Mr. Stark

Loki: fuck

-------

OR Tony and Loki learn this after an incident like above and plan to see how long it'll take for Loki to be discovered

[hurtspideyparker]

Peter: I'm going to a party tonight!

Tony: Don't get anybody pregnant, and no snow. A little bit of grass is fine

Peter, who builds computers from dumpster parts with Ned and calls it a party: Uh. I can't control the weather tho?

[jarvispoptart]

Tony and Natasha shopping day because they’re the only ones with fashion sense and they need to go out to gossip

[ir0npvrker]

tony: i love the phrase “with all due respect” because it doesn’t specify how much respect is due. could be none. bitch

[ironshieldchild]

a little something i made lmao

[i-a-q]

Morgan: Can Peter be my brother?

Tony: You know what? Sure. Why not.

Peter: *surprised* Wait, really?

Tony: *slamming down adoption papers he had ready* Congratulations, you’re family now. Sign here.

[itzsephig5]

Tony: OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT?! TIME OUT! GET ON TOP OF THE FRIDGE! GET UP THERE! Peter: Climbing THIS HOUSE IS A FUCKING NIGHTMARE!!!

[vyynn]

Peter: Mr Stark! The ice cream truck is gonna pass by soon, can I borrow 2 bucks?

Tony: What's the magic word kid.

Peter: Dad?

Tony, pulling out $100 from his wallet: It was supposed to be please but...that works too.

Bruce, muttering under his breath: A bit too well.

[homo-phoneic]

(On the plane to Europe during FFH)

Ned: Man, I’m so hungry I could eat Tony Stark

Peter:

[thewrittenpodcast]

Peter: you can't ground me

Tony: can. Did. It's done you're grounded

Peter: but-

Pepper: no arguments you're grounded

Peter, saluting: yes ma'am Ms. Potts i am going to rethink my life in my room now

Tony:

Tony: HOW

[ramen8008]

Tony: for the last time I'm not adding platforms in your shoes. It's not practical in any sense

Peter: But Mr. Stark bad guys can't be intimidated by me if I'm shorter than them!

[hurtspideyparker]

Tony: Good job Peter

Peter: Thanks dad :)

Tony: I'm not your father 

Peter: :(

Tony: By the way I put hand warmers in your suit and there's some apple slices for you on the Quinjet 

Peter: :)