#incorrect tony stark

[ramen8008]

Evil Tony clone: Shoot him! He's the clone!

Everyone, pointing the gun at the clone: the real Tony would never pass up the opportunity to die

[prkrknr]

harley: where's peter?

tony: what? do you think i have him microchipped or something?

harley: well do you?

tony:

tony: yeah, hang on

[thewrittenpodcast]

Principal: unfortunately we had to call your mother in

Peter: may won't pick up

Principal: no not your aunt. your mother

Peter: i don't... have one?

Principal: says here one Viginia Potts is listed

Peter: i have never met a virginia in my life

Pepper, walking in: i was called

Peter:

Peter: your name is virginia?

Peter: my life is a lie

Peter: how can I go on

[incorrectquotesmcu]

Peter: I’ve got a problem.

Tony: You should copyright that phrase.

[vyynn]

Peter: Mr Stark! The ice cream truck is gonna pass by soon, can I borrow 2 bucks?

Tony: What's the magic word kid.

Peter: Dad?

Tony, pulling out $100 from his wallet: It was supposed to be please but...that works too.

Bruce, muttering under his breath: A bit too well.

[hurtspideyparker]

Peter: I'm going to a party tonight!

Tony: Don't get anybody pregnant, and no snow. A little bit of grass is fine

Peter, who builds computers from dumpster parts with Ned and calls it a party: Uh. I can't control the weather tho?

[august-parker]

Peter literally almost breaking the door kicking it down: "MR STARK EMERGENCY!!"

Tony who just had the worst heart attack of his life: "JESUS FUCKING- PETER WHAT!? WHAT'S GOING ON-?!"

Peter crawling on the floor and grabbing his leg: "I'M DYING MR STARK-"

Tony: "WHAT!? FRIDAY SCAN HIM- WHAT HAPPENED-"

Peter: "I'M DYING! AND THE ONLY CURE- IS- IS TO BUY ME THIS LIMITED EDITION SPIDERMAN LEGO SET"

Tony:

Peter:

Tony:

Peter: ":)"

Tony: "get the fuck out of my lab."

Peter: ":("

[ir0npvrker]

tony: i love the phrase “with all due respect” because it doesn’t specify how much respect is due. could be none. bitch

[ironshieldchild]

a little something i made lmao

[i-a-q]

Morgan: Can Peter be my brother?

Tony: You know what? Sure. Why not.

Peter: *surprised* Wait, really?

Tony: *slamming down adoption papers he had ready* Congratulations, you’re family now. Sign here.

[spider-manz]

Peter: What the fuck?

Steve: Language.

Tony (Who just taught Peter to swear): ...

Tony then proceeds to berate Steve for 20 minutes for undermining months of progress

[ramen8008]

Tony: Peter, can I see you in my office?

Peter, holding back laughter as he puts on a camo jacket: you can try

[incorrectpeterparker]

Tony: And what do we say when life disappoints us?

Peter: Called it.

Tony: No.

[thewrittenpodcast]

Peter: you can't ground me

Tony: can. Did. It's done you're grounded

Peter: but-

Pepper: no arguments you're grounded

Peter, saluting: yes ma'am Ms. Potts i am going to rethink my life in my room now

Tony:

Tony: HOW

[prkrknr]

harley, opening the door: hi morg—

harley, seeing only tony: bruh

tony: hi

peter, appearing behind harley with an excited smile: morgan!

peter, realizing it's only tony: oh, i thought morguna was here

tony, offended: you're not even excited to see me?!

harley: no. where's the baby

[vyynn]

Tony: Who told Steve that kms means keep myself safe?

Peter: Listen, I panicked and accidentally said the wrong thing.

Steve, texting in the avengers group: I don't need backup for the mission! I'll kms.