#incorrect peter parker

[august-parker]

Peter literally almost breaking the door kicking it down: "MR STARK EMERGENCY!!"

Tony who just had the worst heart attack of his life: "JESUS FUCKING- PETER WHAT!? WHAT'S GOING ON-?!"

Peter crawling on the floor and grabbing his leg: "I'M DYING MR STARK-"

Tony: "WHAT!? FRIDAY SCAN HIM- WHAT HAPPENED-"

Peter: "I'M DYING! AND THE ONLY CURE- IS- IS TO BUY ME THIS LIMITED EDITION SPIDERMAN LEGO SET"

Tony:

Peter:

Tony:

Peter: ":)"

Tony: "get the fuck out of my lab."

Peter: ":("

[allowmetohityouwithmyreblog]

The avengers watching a film in the tower:

Peter, seeing somebody get hit by a train on screen: ha! Been there done that- not as fun as it looks.

Tony, barely listening: uh-huh

The other avengers, all looking at peter: ..

Tony, launching off the couch: yOU WHAT?

[theocanhavemyheart]

Peter: You know, Buck, when you generalize, you tell general... lies.

Bucky: ...

Bucky: Are you trying to teach me moral lessons through puns.

[vyynn]

Tony: Who told Steve that kms means keep myself safe?

Peter: Listen, I panicked and accidentally said the wrong thing.

Steve, texting in the avengers group: I don't need backup for the mission! I'll kms.

[spideyswebfluid]

Peter parker sketches and my first time actually trying to color

[thewrittenpodcast]

Peter: Grandpa!

Tony: what where

May: you don't have-

Fury, wearing a knitted sweater and scarf: me

Fury: I'm grandpa fury

Tony:

May:

May: I'm not even going to ask how that happened

[mamaspidershit]

Natasha: So oxygen went on a date with potassium, it went… OK. Peter: I thought oxygen was dating magnesium, OMG. Natasha: Actually oxygen first asked nitrogen out, but nitrogen was all like NO. Tony: I thought oxygen had that double bond with the hydrogen twins. Clint: Looks like someone's a HO. Peter: NaBrO. Maria: I'm done with all of you.

[hurtspideyparker]

Peter: I'm going to a party tonight!

Tony: Don't get anybody pregnant, and no snow. A little bit of grass is fine

Peter, who builds computers from dumpster parts with Ned and calls it a party: Uh. I can't control the weather tho?

[ironrad]

Peter: You know nobody is actually enforcing the laws of physics, right?

Tony: I’m sorry?

Peter proceeding to walk up the wall:

Tony:

[i-a-q]

Morgan: Can Peter be my brother?

Tony: You know what? Sure. Why not.

Peter: *surprised* Wait, really?

Tony: *slamming down adoption papers he had ready* Congratulations, you’re family now. Sign here.

[marvel-lous-guy]

Tony: people are like math

Peter: how?

Tony: some people seem complicated at first, but if you spend time with them and are patient, you'll get to see who they really are and it's not really that complicated

Peter: ...huh, thats cool i guess

Bucky: ...I hate math

Peter: I like Buckys version better

[ramen8008]

Tony has many rules for Peter.

No spideman-ing after 10, homework before spiderman, 8 hours of sleep, etc etc.

One of these happens to be "don't grow taller than Tony"

Apparently this is one of the many rules that Peter breaks

Tony is not happy (he is. His boy is grown. Tears)

[floilee]

The girlfriend 👇🏼

[vyynn]

Steve: Since when did you start keeping band-aids and water in your bag?

Clint: WHEN did you even start bringing a bag with you?

Peter: trips over a rock while walking backwards and falls flat on his back

Tony: Need an answer? I'm thinking of adding a first aid kit too.

[spider-manz]

Peter: What the fuck?

Steve: Language.

Tony (Who just taught Peter to swear): ...

Tony then proceeds to berate Steve for 20 minutes for undermining months of progress

[thewrittenpodcast]

Principal: unfortunately we had to call your mother in

Peter: may won't pick up

Principal: no not your aunt. your mother

Peter: i don't... have one?

Principal: says here one Viginia Potts is listed

Peter: i have never met a virginia in my life

Pepper, walking in: i was called

Peter:

Peter: your name is virginia?

Peter: my life is a lie

Peter: how can I go on