#incorrect clint barton

[vyynn]

Tony: I'm considering paying all theaters to remove that Minecraft movie.

Steve: Why? It was stupidly enjoyable.

Tony: Peter watched it and got into a Minecraft gaming...session that may have lasted 5 straight days. Perhaps more.

Clint: That's a bit worrying but doesn't make it obvious what your beef against the movie is.

Tony: The kid won't let me close the damn lights cause he thinks mobs are gonna spawn, Clint. MOBS, CLINT?!

[1luna1lovegood1]

Clint: WHY AREN'T THERE ADULT-SIZED PLAYGROUNDS? !

Natasha : so like, everything is the same as a kids' playground but bigger!

Clint : yeah, why don't we have those?!

Steve : they are called theme parks.

Clint: but you have to PAY for theme parks!

Steve: that's the adult part.

[auroraromaximoff]

Wanda: Hey, has anyone seen my top?

Clint: Nat’s in the kitchen

Wanda: *blushing* No! My black top, with the frilly sleeves!

Sam: oh, Y/n is in her garden.

Wanda: Never mind! Just forget it! *storms off*

Y/n: *walks in wearing Wanda’s shirt* What happened?

[randomstuffjustrandom]

Presents

Tony: Present time!!!

Avengers giving each other gag gifts and stuff.

Natasha, handing Clint a present: Here, Clint.

Clint, shaking the box: Ooh. I hope it's HYDRA heads. Please be HYDRA heads, please be HYDRA heads.

Clint opens the box: It's HYDRA heads. (The head of some HYDRA ppl)Awww, how did you know?

Natasha, smiling: Merry Christmas

Avengers: *horrified silence*

[floilee]

Natasha whispered: Don't act like you're not going to end the night moaning to her praises

Clint: Jesus, Natasha!

[incorectquoteswlw]

Nat: Yelena cut her hair

Clint: (holding up his constantly vibrating phone) I know

Nat: How's Bishop taking it?

Clint: (sighs and reads from his phone in a monotonous voice) She cut her hair, Clint she just cut her hair. She didn't even say anything, she just did it. Oh my god. She is so hot. She's hotter now. Almost too hot. How did I manage to convince her to date me? She is way too good looking, it should be a crime. Is it a crime?

Nat: Oh so-

Clint: (continuing) She's already got the perfect style figured out too. I'm dizzy, can you get dizzy from this? Because I am. Oh my god, I can't look at her without blushing.

Clint: (flashing the screen) Then she sent a bunch of gifs of people screaming

Nat: (nods, holding up her phone) Yelena texted me

Clint: What did she say?

Nat: (reading from the phone) My new hair has made Kate Bishop go brain stupid. It is very funny, you should come see her.

They share a look before shrugging and getting off the couch

Clint: It's been a slow day anyway

[natasharswifey]

We love you, Clint

[incorrectmcuquotess]

in the Avengers compound communal showers

Bucky: Everybody, bathroom now!

Clint: What, Bucky?

Bucky: Is somebody playing a joke on me? Honestly, why is my towel still damp?

Clint: 'Cause it's not your towel. It's my towel, Bucky.

Bucky: No, it's not your towel. Your towel's the red one.

Clint: I'll tell you this, pal: I've never used that. [points to red towel] I do use that one every single day. [points to blue towel]

Bucky: Oh, God...

Peter: [holding the blue towel] This towel's so warm and fluffy. It's like it's been in the sun forever.

Tony: [laughing] This means you two have been drying your junk with the same towel.

Natasha: Intimate.

Bucky: Are you out of your mind?!

Clint: What do you mean, am I...

Bucky: How do you think this is your towel? Do you even wash it?

Clint: No, I don't wash the towel; the towel washes me. Who washes a towel?

Natasha: You never wash...?

Clint: You wash your towel?

Bucky: You never wash the towel?!

Clint: What am I going to do? Wash the shower next? Wash a bar of soap?

[incorrect-wandanat]

Wanda: Thank you for coming, Clint. Natasha just won’t listen since that mission went wrong.

Clint: No problem. We’ve been doing this a while, so I know how to get Nat out of her head.

Clint: *approaches Natasha lying motionless in bed*

Clint: *in piss poor Russian accent* My friend…Why overthink, when you can overdrink?

Wanda: wHAT—

Nat: *sits up* You’re right. Let’s turn up.

[skylarinfinity]

[avengers having meet and greet with vip]

interviewer : so male reader, how you so strong for being a normal human in this team?

male reader : the only reason i'm so strong is because the body use forty-seven muscles when you cry and i cry myself to sleep every night [shrugs]

clint : [fake gasp] omg, same!

steve : [sigh] please ignore them-

male reader : and if you wondering why i cry myself to sleep [point at steve] him... just him.

tony : [giggling] i think we all been there!

author notes i will start putting four incorrect quotes everyday :)

tags lists @sonicqaulan @graysonfriggason @thebettermaximofftwins @sloanalistair @acienthazard @starlinggoldeneyes @ortegaolsen @wednesdaywanda @sandwichmarvel @gardenofmarvel @wanda-cabin-natasha-jacket @panandinpain0 @badblondebisexualboy

[i-au-a-q]

Hydra!Nat

Clint: Wait, so you were Hydra and S.H.I.E.L.D.?

Natasha: I like to keep my options open.

Clint: So, you’re just… double agenting for fun?

Natasha: *shrugs* Gotta stay busy.

[vyynn]

Peter: Don't let Mr Stark speak at my funeral.

Clint: Got it. When is it happening, why and what else.

Peter: Tomorrow, failed physics for the first time and don't let Mr Rogers speak too, he'll cry.

Clint: Alright. Apple juice?

Peter: yes please..

[1luna1lovegood1]

steve, checking on shuri and peter before a fight: are you ready, kids?

shuri & peter: aye aye captain!

clint: i cant hear you

shuri & peter: AYE AYE CAPTAIN

steve, looking up: did You keep me alive a hundred years for this

clint: but i really cant hear you

clint: i forgot where i left my hearing aids

[auroraromaximoff]

Clint: Everyone is always like; “How’d you get with Natasha?” “How’d you bag Natasha?” Bro I didn’t bag shit. Natasha picked me up, by my neck, threw me over her shoulder, and I’ve been on it ever since. And I don’t have any plans on getting off anytime soon.

Nat: *Winks*

[randomstuffjustrandom]

Surrounded by Assassins

Steve, being righteous or smth: If you kill a killer, the total number of killers remain the same.

Bucky, mouth full of cereal: Kill 2.

Clint, coming out of the vents: Not if you were already a killer.

Natasha, bored: Then just kill yourself.

Bonus:

Steve, face palms: oh my god! That’s not the point.

Tony, nonchalant: What did you expect? You’re surrounded by assassins.

[floilee]

Clint: Yeah… It's exciting to know how distracted you are when I'm being beaten up