#malfoyyaf

[inkstainedfanfics]

i live a vvv simple life , i see the notification for your post , i click

And I consequently smile and dance around bc you liked it :)

- M

[ladydrarry]

i think this name aesthetic thing is really cool and unique ! but i'm jamie/slytherin/i love books and quiet days :))

Thank you! It’s been a long time since I’ve done them :)

the smell of tulips. sleeping in. slow piano music. a maned wolf Animagus. bronze wand sparks. long nails. belladonna. charming yourself invisible. exploring the dungeons late at night. black coffee. acing a Potions exam. 

[blkgirl-writing]

Chocolate Won’t Help. ~ Part Three ~

Young!Sirius Black x Reader

A/n: I said this last time, but i’ll say it again: I am so amazed of how well you guys like this series. When I started I thought it wasn’t worth anything, and just seeing how many people think otherwise stuns me. So thank you for reading and supporting me. And on a different note, Buckle up because I almost cried while writing this.

Warnings: Cursing, Self-Hate, Angst. // Part one, Part two.

“Sirius.” Remus trailed behind him, easily keeping up with Sirius’ growing pace. “You can’t keep avoiding her.”

“What are you on about?” Sirius laughed playfully. Though when he looked back at Remus, Sirius could tell that he wouldn’t let it go this time. “I’m not in the mood.”

“You will be in the mood to groan about it when she goes off and begins to have a life without you. You’ll sulk and moan about her dating a Ravenclaw prefect, or maybe a Hufflepuff who passes their NEWTs with flying colors, and it’ll be too late then. She will have moved on, and you wouldn’t have done anything to pick her up - or pick yourself up.” Remus grabbed his hand, stopping him before they rounded the corner.

"Sirius, you and I both know you love her, and I stupidly let you break her heart, thinking you would get over your crisis as soon as you saw her face. This is too much now, though. Three months, Sirius. You let her try and gather together the pieces and figure out that you didn’t leave because of her for three months.“

Sirius was left speechless. Remus wasn’t wrong, he knew it. He knew it...but facing you again might be the death of him.

"I can’t imagine what y/n is going through.” Sirius sighed, gaze dropping to the ground. “But she’s better without me.” Something he repeated over and over and over again in his head, until he believed it with all of his heart. You were perfection, the light of his world, and that was beyond scary to him.

“Probably, considering what you’ve done,” Remus said bluntly, loosening his grip on his wrist, “but that doesn’t mean she knows that.”

“So?” Sirius forced his eyes up, his sight becoming worse and worse by the minute, due to the tears gathering in his eyes. "So I apologize, I tell her how fucked up I am, I say that it wasn’t her - Godric, it could never be because of her. I tell her that it’s just because she can’t get involved with such a mess. That she should just go and live her life without ever having to be attached to my name, the Black family name, so she never has to deal with the shit that comes with it. I can run away from those people, but can’t run from the name. No matter what, I’m still a Black. And they can’t love, they can’t feel, they don’t know emotions. Who would want that? Why would she want me, knowing this? Why would anyone?”

“Ah, Remus, I thought you were supposed to be the emotional one,” Sirius chuckled, rubbing his eyes to try and just stop it. Stop this outburst. To stop his slow decline into hate he put on himself for everything he’d done.

“Only once a month.” Remus smiled grimly. “You’re more than just a name. You’re acting as if you’re some sort of monster.”

“Take your own advice.” Remus clenched his jaw at Sirius’ words.

“I am. I’m trying. You are not.” Remus finally let go, and stepped back. “She’s in the library. Go out and try.”

“And pull yourself together a bit. You look like shit.”

Tell me if you wanted to be added or removed from the tags! (If there’s another part, haha)

 The “Always” Taglist (Permanent) @missweasley899 @hecates-garden @deanilostmyshoe  

@frenchzodiacgirl @mrfuzzlemonster @art-kitten @mindofthescattered@waves-and-sunflowers @malfoyyaf @weasleyswizardwheezs @cagley12 @iiupin @losers-witch @clockworkherondale @fantasticchaoticwho @missnerd0905 @evolutionofkatep @vnikifxrov @nerd-gal-4-ever @di-a-mo-n-d @mxgicworks @bestillmystuckyheart @df841

[losers-witch]

you’re lying (stanley uris)

oh hell. so where do i start with this? hi, it’s me, malfoyyaf :) but now i’m losers-witch because i’ve wanted to write imagines for the IT (2017) characters so i combined my love for that and the love i have for hp to bring you this! also my theme on my tumblr website has been revamped so i hope you like that as well! i’m so sorry for my absence from tumblr and i hope this makes up for it

permanent tag: @blossombarnes 

pair: stan x reader (not actually, you’ll see)

warning: for those who are not familiar with the IT book/miniseries and have only seen the 2017 movie, there is a major, major spoiler! also: swearing, mentions of suicide, i kinda tweaked stan’s story a bit, so please don’t come for me IT novel readers!

request here.

float masterlist

you couldn’t help but sigh as you drove into derry.

how you missed this small town and it hasn’t changed since the last time you saw it. you had mike to thank for making you drive back here even though it probably wasn’t for a joyous reason.

but you couldn’t wait to see the other losers. you missed eddie’s germaphobic self, richie’s cusses, bill’s stutter, beverly’s smile, ben’s sweetness, mike’s laugh, and stan. 

oh, that boy. he was the one who you missed the most. you shared so many great memories with him and truth be told, you loved him so much. not that he knew.

but you couldn’t be nostalgic for long. mike called you back here for a reason and the sense of urgency in his voice sent chills down your spine. you drove all the way to the library and parked your car right in front of the doors.

cold air hit your face as you opened the doors and you walked slowly into the empty building, your head looking around the room. 

you approached the back of the library where the tables were and saw a group of people huddled around one. a smile tugged up your lips as you looked at them, great memories flooding in.

“there’s the woman of the very late hour!” richie smiled as he looked up.

“trashmouth tozier!” you laughed, running over to hug him.

“y/n! did you like skip me on purpose?” you turned around and saw beverly smiling, her hands stretched out.

“of course not! that would be stupid,” you chuckled and gave bev a hug.

you hugged eddie, bill, ben, and mike before you noticed that stan isn’t there. 

‘maybe he’s running late’ is what you told yourself as you took a seat next to bill.

“so what’s the news? you sounded very grave and urgent on the phone.” you leaned forward towards mike.

you saw his face drop into a scowl. “which news do you want first? the bad or very bad one?”

“very bad, i guess?” your face contorted in confusion

“stan killed himself.”

your stomach clenched, your heart shattered, tears started to burn your eyes. that’s why he wasn’t there? you looked around the table and their faces were all turned towards you, the grim expressions suffocating you. they already found out before you came.

“then what’s the bad?” you choked out. it was getting harder to speak for your throat felt like there was an iron fist around it.

“it is back.”

that was it, you couldn’t take it. before you knew it, you were running from the library, the sound of your shoes hitting the concrete and the wind blasting your face were the only things you were trying to focus on.

dead. he’s dead. it is back. 

you stopped in the middle of the street before walking over to the sidewalk, sit down, and sob.

you sat there for who knows how long before you heard rapid footsteps coming your way.

“y/n! t-there you-u are!” you heard bill’s stutter and saw him slow down until he was right by your side.

you sniffled and wiped your eyes, “yeah, i’m here.”

“a-are you o-okay?” he whispered, throwing his arm around you, pulling you close.

“no,” you whimpered and you felt tears run down from your eyes, unto bill’s shirt. “i’m not.”

“shh, i-it’s ok-kay, j-just cr-cry.” he rocked you back and forth, trying to comfort you.

“i’m going to kill that clown, i’m going to kill him so dead.” you stand up, your balled up fists by your side. you turn towards bill, fire in your eyes, “even if i die trying.”

part two ?

[my-heart-burns-there-too]

It’s Been a While Part 3 (Richie Tozier x reader)

Part 1: https://my-heart-burns-there-too.tumblr.com/post/166444818957/its-been-a-while-richie-tozier-x-reader-part

Part 2: https://my-heart-burns-there-too.tumblr.com/post/166479300392/its-been-a-while-part-2-richie-tozier-x-reader

Pairing: Richie x reader

Request: Yeah I guess

Warnings: Violence

A/N: I have 101 followers. I love you guys a lot. ❤️

The ground was cold, water was in puddles under your body. Drip, drip, drip, water came from the ceiling, hitting your forehead as your eyes fluttered open. You sat up, your hand flinching as it felt the cold, wet concrete ground.

It was almost too much for you. You’d been here before, for what you thought would be the final battle back when you were 13. You looked over to the exit, standing up. You were shaking.

“Hello Y/N. Oh how much older you’ve gotten!!! What brought you back to my humble town of Derry, Maine,” Pennywise giggled as he loomed over you. You hadn’t really known how he’d gotten to you so quickly, but here he was. Each of his bones cracked and snapped, as he jaggedly moved to grab your neck. You wheezed and gasped for air as he lifted you up.

“Now you wait on a second you piece of fucking shit!” Richie Tozier himself yelled as him and the rest of the losers stood in the entrance to the sewer. “You took away my childhood. You traumatized me and my friends for life. You drove one of my best friends to suicide. You killed innocent children–and you took away my girl,” Richie snarled, “and I’m not leaving without my girl.”

He picked up the old baseball bat, which he fashioned to put nails into, and ran towards the clown, screaming as his feet thudded on the ground.

Pennywise dropped you onto the ground, your body shooting with pain from the impact. Tears were spilling down your cheeks, your body racking with sobs as you gasped for the air that you’d lost when the clown grabbed your throat.

Eddie ran to your side as the rest of the losers, mainly Richie, beat the clown to a pulp. “Hey Y/N, are you okay?! Why am I asking that of course you’re not. You’re hard of breathing, you have a couple of scratches and scrapes that could be infected, you-”

“Eddie.” You cut him off, “just please help me.” He gulped and frantically nodded, taking out his fanny pack(which you couldn’t believe he still had after all of these years), and carefully bandaging you and helping you into a somewhat decent state.

The sewers went quiet, the only sounds to be heard were the water coming from the ceiling. Drip, drip, drip. You looked over, gagging at what you saw. Yes, the clown was dead, but Richie had beat the thing so much it’s head was smashed into the concrete. Like someone who dropped a watermelon, splattered all over the ground. But at least it was over.

Richie ran to you, his eyes filled with tears and a burning lump in his throat. He’d almost lost you, and he didn’t even do the thing yet. The thing. As soon as you walked into the restaurant the first day back in Derry, the losers all looked to Richie, wondering if he would do it in the time you were here. And he was certain. He had to.

“Y/N, p-please, you almost died. I promised that nothing would h-hurt you…,” Richie shakily whispered, his arms wrapped protectively around you in a death grip. Everyone was in shock, this is the first time they’d seen Richie go soft. He wasn’t a trashmouth, he wasn’t laughing it off with a joke. No, he was dead serious right now.

He kissed you. He kissed your lips, your forehead, your cheeks. All over your face he kissed you, as if he would never be able to experience again. His arms tightened, if possible, as if you would vanish from sight if he let go. You smiled, wiped his tears although your own were rapidly streaming down your face, and you kissed his cheek. “I love you, Richie.”

You stood up, your hand in his, as all of you left the sewers. IT had been defeated. You wouldn’t be haunted anymore by the whispers. The whispers that brought you from the blue and into the black.

You sat outside of the library, sitting and watching the town and the streets, your hand in Richie’s. You looked over and Richie quickly glanced away. What’s wrong, you ask?

Richie was going to do the thing.

“Y/N, listen. We need to talk. I know that we’ve just gotten back together. But u-uh.. if you remember all those years ago.. back when we were thirteen… oh shit I’m gonna fuck this up. Please don’t laugh at me,” he rambled, squeezing your hands as his face filled with color. You giggled. “Well um, we made a promise. And I just wanted to ask you…. oh fuck it.”

He got down on one knee and brought out a small black box. He opened it and inside was a single gold band with three small diamonds on the top. He’d worked his ass off and a hell of a lot of heckling at Kay Jewelers to get that ring. “Y/N L/N, do you wanna keep that promise?” He looked up, fearing the worst. Yet what he saw was beautiful. A small smile graced your face, what looked like solar flares shined through your h/c hair and your eyes sparkled with nothing but love for the man in front of you.

“Oh Richie,” you giggled, getting down onto your knees and throwing your arms around his neck, “I’d love to.” You kissed him as he slipped the ring onto your finger, cupping his cheek gently. His lips and yours, it was better than any firework show, it was better than any explosion or supernova. He was meant for you.

TAG LIST (if you ever wanna be tagged just ask me love!):

@malfoyyaf

@fearless2tobeme

@georgies-boat

@thekidsofneibolt

@thatsdmnhpphangirl

@richieetozierrr

[vibraniom]

Secrets, Lies, and a Heroic Disguise (Part 4)

Includes: Peter x reader, Homecoming spoilers, angst, and fluff.

Requested by Anonymous: “Could you do a Peter x Reader where the reader is worried about Peter because he keeps getting beat up and he starts shutting her out and she gets saved by Spider-Man and she tells him about her problems and Peter feels guilty so comes to her house with flowers and apologizes. I love your writing!”

Written for @sanjariti‘s Writing Challenge: Quote #3: “I love you, you asshole.”

Word Count: 870

A/N: This is it! I hope you all have enjoyed the series!

Series Masterlist

One evening after you’d been released from the hospital, you sat on the fire escape outside your window to finish your English homework. The sun had already started to set, painting the sky with a gradient mix of blue, orange, pink and purple. Along with the light coming from your bedroom, the dying brightness of the sun was enough to see by.

You wouldn't consider the air clean given that you lived in Queens, but your lungs still needed a little time to recover and the cool breeze outside felt better than the stuffiness of the indoors.

You were almost finished with your assignment when you felt a strange awareness of your body, the sort of awareness that accompanies the feeling of being watched. As you looked up from the notebook in your lap, your gaze was instantly drawn to the man in the red and blue suit balanced on the railing of the fire escape.

“I never got to thank you from saving me the other day,” you said after a moment’s hesitation, surprisingly unafraid of the masked stranger. Maybe your heartbeat had spiked a bit when you first spotted him, but you had no reason to fear him. You had only heard good things about whoever the person beneath the disguise was, and you could have been a pile of ash if not for him.

“Your welcome,” he replied lamely, as if he wanted to say something more but didn't know how to phrase it.

“If you're here to check up on me, I can assure you, I'm doing much better,” you added, reaching through the window to set your notebook on the desk before you stood.

“That's great, but um… there’s something I have to tell you,” he said, drawing a bouquet of your favorite flowers from behind his back.

You stepped forward to take them from his gloved hand, nuzzling your your nose into the petals. “How did you know these are my favorite? Peter’s the only one who-” you stopped short, eyes widening as realization slammed into you. Peter slowly pulled the mask from his head, revealing his unruly hair and the dark brown eyes you’d become familiar with long ago.

Peter moved from his perch on the railing to stand in front of you, and you backed away, unable to believe that Spider-Man was your boyfriend. Well, you weren't really sure what the two of you were anymore, but either way, you were beyond shocked.

“Y-you’re…” you stuttered, incapable of forming a coherent sentence.

“I didn't want my secrets to come between us anymore,” Peter explained, his eyes darting back and forth as he observed your dumbfounded expression.

“I certainly wasn't expecting this,” you breathed, noticing how stupid the words sounded only after you said them. You weren't sure if you were glad to finally have an explanation for his injuries or angry that he was willingly putting himself in danger.

Peter crossed the distance separating the two of you again, and you might’ve taken another step back if he didn’t gently grasp your free hand. “I know this doesn't fix anything—I still lied to you—but I’m so sorry. You have to know that.”

“Peter, I-”

Before you could finish, Peter kissed you, his other hand snaking under your hair to tug at the back of your neck and keep you from pulling away. He smelled like the chilled air of Autumn, and his lips were cold against yours as you caught a whiff of the flowers that were mashed between the two of you.

When Peter withdrew from the kiss, you leaned your forehead against his, your shared breaths warming the air around you.

“I love you, you asshole,” you whispered, nudging his nose with yours. “If you didn’t interrupt me, you'd know that already.”

“Wait, you what?” he asked, meeting your eyes as the beginnings of a smirk tugged at the corners of his mouth.

“You heard me,” you said, shoving his chest playfully. You took his mask from him and stretched it over his face, adding, “Now go fight some crime while you still can.”

The eyes on Peter’s suit narrowed in confusion as he repeated, “While I still can?”

“You never know who might open her mouth to a certain someone,” you hinted, your lips tipping up in a smug grin.

“You wouldn’t,” he said, though the slight quaver in his voice portrayed his worry that you would tell May.

“If I find even one small scratch on you when you return, I just might.”

“Well, I promise to be more careful, ma’am,” he replied with a mocking lilt to his voice as he saluted you.

“Get out of here, Spider-Boy,” you teased, shaking your head as a light, happy tingling sensation rushed from your head to your toes. You’d experienced the feeling around him before, and you hoped he never stopped affecting you in such a way.

“It’s Spider-Man.” With that, Peter fell off the railing of the fire escape. Only a moment after he left your sight, he appeared again as he swung from building to building, and you couldn’t help the smile that crossed your lips as you watched him go.

Thank you for reading! Feedback is much appreciated. Also, if you would like to be added or removed from the tag list, please let me know.

@stephie-senpai @elithepeali @lilasiannerd @cadetomlinson @buckybarnesisalittleshit @alwayshave-faith @ironstank @viollettes @malfoyyaf​ @davros2004 @another-wannabe-author

[inkstainedfanfics]

so like i was reading the first quarter of Duly Noted and i already loved it !!! i should be sleeping but your writing is totally worth staying up for ! kisses ❤️

You’re too kind to me honestly omg I can’t stop smiling :D I’m glad you like it so far!! Hopefully it does end up being worth losing sleep over lol. I wouldn’t want to waste your time! Tons of love :)

- M

[inkstainedfanfics]

in all honesty , i would buy a $23.99 book if it was filled with your writing thanks :))

AHhh what did I do to deserve this message??? It’s so sweet!!! Thank you so much!!

Ngl I wondered at first if you sent this to the wrong person but if you didn’t, I’m melting. I can’t stop smiling. This is so kind and I love this and you!!! Thank you!!

- M

[inkstainedfanfics]

i have my tissues at the ready and my sad tunes in the background. so ready for your new series!

Ahhh 10 minutes to posting!! I hope you do end up liking it :D

- M

[inkstainedfanfics]

i've heard word of an angsty fic and i give permission for you to break my heart :) ily !!!!!!!!!!!

I hope the story’s heartbreaking enough :)

- M

[inkstainedfanfics]

hiii! i know you have tons of requests but could you do a newtxreader or dracoxreader to the song "how does a moment last forever" by celine dion? or "something stupid" by frank sinatra if that floats your wonderful writing boat 😂💚 but i love your writing as always and i can't wait to read the next one :)))

Hi! Would you prefer Newt or Draco? If you don’t care either way, I’ll just pick whichever I feel fits the song better. And tysm!! Ik I’ve been kind of quiet this week writing-wise but I’m working on some!

- M

[inkstainedfanfics]

oh look ! it's meee ! but i just wanted to say that your latest imagine gas me in tears ! your writing is magnificent as alwayss ! you are like my number one fave writer

Your ask has me in tears (but maybe that’s bc it’s one in the morning here lol). But honestly this is so kind and I had to take a moment to contain my excitement when I read this. Thank you so so much!

I’m glad you liked A Lost Memory! I was kind of worried about it. Thanks for the kind comment on it (sorry for taking the last bit of your heart lol).

- M

[inkstainedfanfics]

this is not a request , just wanted to say OW because "there's a crowd" has my heart physically ow-ing ughhhh :( but aghhh your writing is beautiful and i say that everytime on here but i just need you to know that

Ahhh tysm! I’m so glad you loved it :D I was worried it’d be kind of confusing with the timeline in it but then again I worry about something over every piece lol. thanks again ily :)

- M

[adorkablepeter]

Tom Holland Headcanon #1

Being Robert Downey Jr’s daughter and falling in love with Tom Holland.

A/N: Finally another post! Haven’t had enough time to write a full story, so I decided to make it a headcanon. Enjoy! :)

×××

× being RDJ’S daughter you’re an actress of course and a model too

× instantly falling in love with Tom’s look when you watch civil war with your dad since he wouldn’t tell you who it was

× low key stalking Tom on Instagram and Twitter, you are too afraid to follow him though

× you secretly loving Spiderman but always telling your dad that Iron Man is your favourite

× watching Spiderman: Homecoming together and your mind being totally part of the movie, not even noticing your dad’s comments

× knowing that your dad is filming Infinity War you decide to visit him on set

× melting at the thought of meeting Tom and trying to hide your giddiness from your dad

× seeing Tom in person for the first time was when he was filming a scene with Benedict Cumberbatch

× Tom literally chocking on air when he saw you, standing next to your dad and watching the scene

× him having to redo the scene

× during break he came up to you, nervously intodrucing himself

× “Hi, I’m Pet- No, I’m n-not Peter. H-Hi I’m Tom.”

× “I know who you are. Dad told me a lot about you.”

× you both being super nervous and awkward while your dad is suspiciously eyeing you two

× Chris Evans joins you and greets you with a big hug

× Tom instantly being jealous of Chris

× Chris talking to Robert, both of them turning away from you

× Tom taking this chance to drag you away from them

× “You need to go out with me”

× both of you blushing so fucking hard

× “Ugh, I’m never smooth around pretty girls.” “You think I’m pretty?” “You’re freaking gorgeous!” “Okay, I do need to go out with you.”

× him not even bothering to hide his smile

× him mumbling “I’m going out with Robert Downey Jr ’s daughter…” in disbelief when he wanders off

× having the most romantic coffee shop date before walking in the park

× your nervousness quickly turning into excitement during your conversations

× visiting your dad very often and him getting suspicious

× “Hey, sweetheart, I think you’re drooling.” When he catches you staring at Tom

× he’s trying so hard to be the typical overprotective father but he low key ships you two

× nobody even thinking about joining Tom and you when you are talking. Everyone knows you won’t even notice someone standing next to you

× your conversation consisting of complimenting each other

× you both admitting to each other that you have been stalking each other on social media before you met

× spending A LOT OF time in private, mostly in his trailer

× being pretty intimate like all the time

× Robert having a sixth sense, always knowing when you’re intimate and interrupting before you can get even close to kissing

× Tom internally freaking out evertime

× one day Robert hears Tom talking about you to Harrison, telling him how much he adores you, how he wants to give you everthing that he can offer and how he almost lands flat on his face when he is walking towards you

× “You wouldn’t believe me how many times he walked in on us when I was so close to kissing her! It’s insane. The next time I see her I’m just gonna grab her and kiss her!”

× your dad texting you “Tom wants to tell you something. Go to his trailer.”

× you’re so confused but you leave Downeytown and make your way to Tom’s trailer

× getting another text from Robert “Tell him that if he doesn’t tell you then I will.”

× being even more confused before you knock on Tom’s door and Harrison opening

× Haz greeting you and leaving after he let you in, knowing that Tom would keep his words

× Tom looking at you with heart eyes

× “My dad said you want to tell me something. And if you don’t he’ll tell me.”

× Tom standing up without a word, opening the door and checking if Robert is nearby

× him slamming the door, turning around before taking a deep breath

× your eyes widening when he grabs your face, smashing you lips together

× the firm kiss turning passionate when you recover from your shock

× saying “I’ve always loved Spiderman the most.” against his lips when he pulls back

× “YOU WHAT?!”, coming from one of the open windows

× most awkward post-kiss-moment

× “You need to be my girlfriend.” “And you need to form your needs into nice questions.” “I’ll take that as a yes.”

》《 Masterlist 》《

×××

All Posts: @imnothavingkids @marvel-midtown @heytomholland

~ Tom Holland Taglist: @kint-sugi @bringmetomnow @marvelavengers8 @just-a-new-start @nicolemills15 @swiish12 @sparklingriverdale @morduniversum @lilackimmi @my-spidey-senses-are-tingly @underoosqueen @holllandhugs @krystalrenae13 @malfoyyaf @smxxchies @lostboykay @aussie-mantle

[blkgirl-writing]

Chocolate Won’t Help. ~Part Two~

Young!Sirius Black X Reader

Warnings: Light cursing, slight Angst.

A/n: When i made the first part from a request, i had no clue that it would be so well received as it was, and i just want to say thank you. Thank you for reading my work, liking, reblogging, and following.

{Part One Here} {Part Three Here}

You slammed your hands on one of the many old library tables, huffing at the amount of books you had lying across it, taking up the majority of the space. Homework was a bitch, but so was having to avoid the people you still loved.

Yes, you still loved Sirius - and the Marauders; it was very pathetic, in your mind. It had affected you so much that it seemed that you could only storm out of places or sulk around all day. Sulk!! It was more than just insufferable. It was a pain in the ass.

You didn’t know how to feel, really. Anger, that they would just ditch you; sadness, for losing the closest people you had to family; regret, for not knowing to mind your  own business and staying the hell away from the troublemakers they are; or maybe.. joy, that you got to spend that much time with them in the first place, making memories that would last a lifetime.

Somehow, it felt like all of it, combined...which was unbelievably hard to bear, at first.

You had gotten used to it by now. It didn’t hurt as much to see them - to see him, laughing, smiling, generally having a ball without you. Sure, you weren’t completely over it, since you tended to hide behind another student  or two if they walked by. Nothing from any of them. Nothing from Sirius.

That was why, when you heard a thump from the other side of the table, you jumped slightly. Whipping your head around, you saw Remus sitting where there were once a few other books piled. He had his usual soft smile, the one that could warm anyone’s heart.

“Y/n, it’s beyond good to see you.” Remus tugged at the hem of his sweater, a gesture he tended to only do when nervous. But you couldn’t blame him, being around his best friend’s ex and past friend would be quite nerve-racking, as you knew.

“Hi Remus,” you replied, choosing your words carefully. You were a little worried that he was sent as the spy, seeing if you were a broken mangled disaster from losing Sirius. “I won’t lie, I missed your messiness.��

He laughed, his face lightening up considerably, though he still had something in his eyes that told a different story.

“He’s not in his right mind, you know.” Surprisingly, you thought he was going to ask how you were doing. He actually might not be a spy? “He wouldn’t admit it, damn Black pride, but he’s been completely off without you.”

You chortled, shaking your head. Not possible. The fact you had seen him with countless other girls -

“I know, it looks bad, but he does care about you, more than you could ever know - trust me.” You swore that Remus could make any news sound good, except this. This was too much.

“Well, if he cared, then he would have come here himself to explain,” you started, fidgeting with your fingers, “and he wouldn’t have left me in the first place. Or when I tried to - to... I don’t know.”

“Y/n,” he said softly, as if his words could hurt like broken glass.

“Remus,” you teased, smiling ever so slightly.

“You know I’m here for you.”

“You better be, with the amount of times I saved your ass.”

“Moony! We need your help!” James shouted from the front door of the library, earning a very angry glare from the head librarian. Standing on either side of him were Peter and Sirius. You couldn’t help the lingering eye towards Sirius. You couldn’t help but notice his slightly more rugged appearance. The dark bags under his eyes, the slightly messy hair. It was a look he only sported after Remus’ little furry problem, and that wasn’t for ages.

“Wait -” You looked at him for a second, then pulled him into a tight hug. The smell of pine and cocoa comforted you instantly. His hugs were always the best. “Thank you.”

And with that, he went to them. You glanced over again, no Sirius in sight. Maybe, on a very rare chance, Remus was right.

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[inkstainedfanfics]

Come Back When You Can

Summary: Guilt’s a powerful emotion, one Newt has never been good at escaping.

Word Count: 2,336

Pairing: Newt x Reader

Tag List: @red-roses-and-stories @dont-give-a-bother @caseoffics @myrtus-amongst-the-stars @ly--canthrope @whatinbenaddiction @benniesgalaxy @studyforthreehands @thosefantasticbeast2 @malfoyyaf

Any comments/opinions on this piece, positive or negative, are welcome and encouraged

Easy. It would be easy to fix this all. Just the flourish of the wand to send the quill into motion, one knot to tie it to the owl’s foot, and one whisper to give away the address. All too easy.

Which is why, as you chew absentmindedly on the end of your quill and stare at the blank parchment in front of you, you want to scream.

The ticking of the clock is the worst, you think, as it keeps a steady pace of seconds, minutes, hours, and days spent without Newt.

Love, I could never-blame

Darling, please understand you couldn’t make me-stay

Sweetheart, I’m not angry, I promise, you can’t take fault

Sighing, you slam the quill onto the short desk. It’s a weak quill, one that snaps as soon as it hits the sturdy tabletop, and the sharp crack breaks your will.

The nurse in the corner startles at your frustrated shout.

She straightens the cap teetering on the top of her messy red hair. She’s tried to tie it back, but the curls must be near impossible to tame, and she has to hold her hat as she rushes to your side, eyes wide in alarm.

“What hurts?” Her hand’s cold as it grips your wrist, feeling for a pulse.

“Nothing.” You mutter, dropping your head against the stack of pillows she shoved on your bed an hour earlier.

“Oh please, darlin’, nobody screams for no reason. What is it? Is it your stomach?”

You fight the urge to yell again, to scream at her to go away, to find him and bring him back here. They don’t understand, none of them do. The words, you need the right words.

Her eyes drift to the small desk on your lap, to the two halves of the quill. “Oh, darlin’, is it that old thing? Don’t worry about that. We’ve got a bunch more sitting in a cup up front. Doctors break them all the time.”

She smiles, a grin that’s supposed to placate you, but all it does is make you angrier, make you want to grab the cup of quills and snap each and every one. Perhaps then you could find a way around this knot in your gut.

Fault. Blame. Such worthless words when it comes to love.

The nurse glances at her watch. “Oh, looks like it’s time for another dose of meds. Don’t want that wound causing you any pain.”

“I don’t want any.” They make you drowsy, tired, unable to focus on the paper and that paper is the most important thing in St. Mungo’s right now.

She clucks her tongue as she bustles around, gathering your medicines. “You haven’t been trouble yet. You aren’t planning on starting now, are you?”

But you are. You’d waited a full day for Newt, figuring he was with his creatures or stuck in a publisher meeting but eager to rush to your side and hold you until the burn faded enough for out-patient care. You’d waited a full day, believing in your heart that he was on his way to your side to be with you until the two of you could go home. You’d waited a full day before asking the nurse if she had seen him.

The note was short, written in Newt’s unmistakably messy script. You’d squinted to read it the first time, to make out the words. Ice creeping into your veins, you’d reread it over and over and over again, trying to find something you missed, a word that would change the meaning, a joke that would paint this as his dry humor, but there was nothing.

His fault, he said. He’s an unnecessary danger to you, one that could eventually kill and, for that, he’s leaving. You couldn’t move after you first read it, were frozen. He can’t. Newt can’t leave, not when he’s the most important person. How can he blame himself when you’d begged to go on the trip along with him?

You deserve better, love. Find someone that prioritizes you and love them.

The note’s in the drawer next to your bed now, tucked away in a journal your nurse dug out of the bag you’d had on you when they took you away, set right next to your favorite picture of Newt. You reach for the drawer, reaching for your journal. Perhaps if you have that, read the last note Newt wrote in it before everything, you’ll find the right words, find what you can say to call him back to you.

The nurse grabs your arm, shaking her head and grinning down at you with her toothy smile. “No time for writing. We’ve got to get you set up with this shot.”

“I can’t.” You tug your arm away from her. Newt needs to know that you forgive him, that you never blamed him for any of it. All you want is for him to be at your side, holding your hand, reading you stories and giving updates on the creatures. He’d know what to say to make you laugh, would charm the nurse into giving you extra pudding come meal time. Newt’s your rock; without him around, you’ll float away.

“You need to sit still, honey.” She reaches for your wrist again, but you pull it away, ignoring the searing pain in your side.

“I need to write something.”

“You can do that later.”

“Give me the meds later.”

“I can’t. We’ve got to stick on a strict schedule. Don’t want the anti-venom to stop working because we missed a dose.”

“I just need ten minutes.” You look up at her pleadingly, praying she’ll give you the time.

“I can’t do that, and you know it. Now sit still.”

There’s the frustration again, the rage. You can’t do anything but sit here and watch the world spin, giving Newt more and more time to hide his tracks, to travel far away and never be found. So, though you regret the action before you even do it, you know what needs to happen.

Grabbing your wand, you point it at the lightbulb. “Expelliarmus!”

The nurse lurches away as the bulb explodes into thousands of shards.

“Oh for high mercy’s sake…” She mutters, drawing her own wand but pointing it only at the ground. “Why would you do that?”

But you don’t answer, already pulling out your broken quill, ink bottle, and journal. Setting them on the lap desk, you open the ink bottle and set Newt’s picture to the side. The words are there, ready to flow, and as you dip the quill into the ink, you notice a sliver of hope in your emotions, a small light quickly burning away the overwhelming anger at the situation. You know what Newt needs to hear, but it’s fading quickly. You need to get it on paper now.

The light flickers back on as the nurse finishes waving her wand. “Now,” she says, turning back to you, “your medicines.”

You scramble to grab your wand from the stand next to you, but it’s gone, across the room, stolen with a simple ‘accio.’

The words. You scribble away but it’s not fast enough, won’t be.

The nurse sighs. “Honey, put that away.”

“Just a moment more.” You mutter, lip between your teeth.

She reaches toward you. “You can finish after a quick nap.”

“No, you don’t understand. I need –“

Before you can finish, she tries to grab the tip of the quill. You jerk back, and someone’s hand or perhaps it’s the quill, smacks the ink bottle.

It twirls once, twice, falls.

You stare in horror as the black ink envelopes the page of your journal, the words you’ve already forgotten because of that damned medicine, and, faster than you can think, spills over Newt’s face.

“No. No!” You scream, pulling the picture from its fate, but you’re too late. Newt’s gone, hidden under layer after layer of black ink that won’t come off. The words are gone. The picture’s gone. He’s gone.

You stare, in shock, at the lost treasure. Ink stains your fingertips black, sullies your blanket where it drips from the lap desk, seeps through the thin pages of your journal, ruining everything.

You’re hardly aware of the band the nurse ties around your bicep or the prick of the needle a few moments later. “Sorry, honey. I’ll get this mess cleaned up. Why don’t you just lie down for a bit?”

Her words are distant, muffled by the medicine and the terror. The note he wrote you is gone, the journal full of his thoughts wrecked, and he’s missing – no, hiding, from you. If there was any way to track Newt, to find where he would go to hide, it would be in that journal.

The nurse presses against your shoulders and adjusts the pillows, taking one away so you can lie fully down. “Now sleep, honey. You’ve been under some stress. If you’re gonna recover from a venomous bite like that, you need rest, understand?”

The medicine gives you no choice. Your eyelids grow heavy and your breathing slows.

Tears well up in your eyes as you let them shut. If only had stepped aside or listened to Newt when he told you to duck. If you’d done that, he’d still be here, wandering the city with you hand in hand, wondering if any other dangerous creatures had taken to wandering the streets.

You wipe them away as best you can, but your arm may as well have been made of stone for how heavy it is. Still, you manage to wipe them from your eyes just before succumbing to the dreams that will plague you soon enough.

The nurse, finished cleaning your mess and setting the writing materials aside, wipes two grey streaks from your cheek before reaching for a load of paperwork to report the incident.

An ocean away, Newt sits at his desk, puddle of ink forming under the nib of his quill. It’s been set aside, forgotten in the stream of his thoughts, each one replaying the scene, analyzing it, deciding what he could have done, how he could have fixed it and gotten you out of there. Long, deep lines stretch across his forehead as he frowns.

He leans the chair on its hind legs, mind racing. He could have dived in front of you, tackled you, explained the dangers more thoroughly beforehand, could even have used petrificus totalus to knock you to the ground and protect you from the bite. But he’d done none of that. He’d just stood across the room and screamed.

Useless.

Useless, useless, useless.

He’d decided that day, as he held you in his arms and begged you to breathe, that he was right. There wasn’t a way to justify this, to justify nearly losing you for the sake of his own research, so he grabbed his suitcase and packed it before writing the note the kind nurse promised to deliver as soon as she could. He’d squeezed your hand and kissed your forehead before leaving. When he stepped out of St. Mungo’s that day, he’d shut his eyes and apparated.

It was a terrible thing, leaving you, an action that nearly tore him in two. He’d faltered many times, thought about turning around. His fingernails are bit to the quick, and the inside of his mouth’s bloody, but he’d closed his eyes every time and pictured the slack in your body as you fell, tumbled to the ground, one final desperate look at him before the venom kicked in completely.

The image still makes him shudder.

A mix of a broom and apparition led him here, to America. It’s not his final destination, he knows, but there’s nowhere to go to escape this. Their voices, the grim tones of the doctors, they haunt his dreams whenever he manages to fall asleep.

Hospitalized for one week.

Needs extensive surgery.

Chances are 50/50.

He shuts his eyes, fingers gripping the ledge of the desk so hard pain streaks through his hands.

This is his fault. He should’ve done something. This is all his fault.

Newt’s led you into dangerous situations, put you in jeopardy more times than he can count. And all for what, himself? All because he was too scared to leave you behind and let you find someone else, someone better?

His stomach turns at the thought. Selfish. He’s always been so selfish. If he’d faced the truth earlier, accepted what was obvious to everyone, you’d be perfectly healthy right now. But he’d been selfish, a coward, unwilling to accept that he’d have to choose your safety or his happiness.

Tears fill his eyes as he knows there’s no way to avoid the choice, there’s no choice he can make that offers him both. So, for the first time, he shoves his desires away.

You’re safer without him, always will be.

He lifts his quill, flipping open his notebook. It’s empty save for a few pages, pages filled with cryptic stories and scribbled ideas about a stronger anti-venom that’s more portable, written over the past two days. Build with what you know Theseus had always said. He’d not mentioned one way or another in his first note whether he’d be back, hadn’t known if he’d have the strength to stay away. Now that he knows, has decided, you deserve the truth.

Newt’s chest aches with guilt as he plans his letter. If he’d done something, you’d be here at his side, trying to read over his shoulder, teasing him for his messy handwriting, kissing his cheek and asking if he’d like tea. If he’d just told you to stay behind for the year and wait for him to return, you’d be fine. But he didn’t. He chose to bring you along all because the thought of leaving you behind was too much to bear.

And for that, Newt knows, dipping his quill in ink to write his final goodbye to you, he’ll never forgive himself.