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transgenderteensurvivalguide · 4 years

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“Elliot Page doesn’t remember exactly how long he had been asking.

But he does remember the acute feeling of triumph when, around age 9, he was finally allowed to cut his hair short. “I felt like a boy,” Page says. “I wanted to be a boy. I would ask my mom if I could be someday.” Growing up in Halifax, Nova Scotia, Page visualized himself as a boy in imaginary games, freed from the discomfort of how other people saw him: as a girl. After the haircut, strangers finally started perceiving him the way he saw himself, and it felt both right and exciting.

The joy was short-lived. Months later, Page got his first break, landing a part as a daughter in a Canadian mining family in the TV movie Pit Pony. He wore a wig for the film, and when Pit Pony became a TV show, he grew his hair out again. “I became a professional actor at the age of 10,” Page says. And pursuing that passion came with a difficult compromise. “Of course I had to look a certain way.”

We are speaking in late February. It is the first interview Page, 34, has given since disclosing in December that he is transgender, in a heartfelt letter posted to Instagram, and he is crying before I have even uttered a question. “Sorry, I’m going to be emotional, but that’s cool, right?” he says, smiling through his tears.

It’s hard for him to talk about the days that led up to that disclosure. When I ask how he was feeling, he looks away, his neck exposed by a new short haircut. After a pause, he presses his hand to his heart and closes his eyes. “This feeling of true excitement and deep gratitude to have made it to this point in my life,” he says, “mixed with a lot of fear and anxiety.”

It’s not hard to understand why a trans person would be dealing with conflicting feelings in this moment. Increased social acceptance has led to more young people describing themselves as trans—1.8% of Gen Z compared with 0.2% of boomers, according to a recent Gallup poll—yet this has fueled conservatives who are stoking fears about a “transgender craze.” President Joe Biden has restored the right of transgender military members to serve openly, and in Hollywood, trans people have never had more meaningful time onscreen. Meanwhile, J.K. Rowling is leveraging her cultural capital to oppose transgender equality in the name of feminism, and lawmakers are arguing in the halls of Congress over the validity of gender identities. “Sex has become a political football in the culture wars,” says Chase Strangio, deputy director for transgender justice at the ACLU.

(Full article with photos continued under the “read more”)

And so Page—who charmed America as a precocious pregnant teenager in Juno, constructed dreamscapes in Inception and now stars in Netflix’s hit superhero show The Umbrella Academy, the third season of which he’s filming in Toronto—expected that his news would be met with both applause and vitriol. “What I was anticipating was a lot of support and love and a massive amount of hatred and transphobia,” says Page. “That’s essentially what happened.” What he did not anticipate was just how big this story would be. Page’s announcement, which made him one of the most famous out trans people in the world, started trending on Twitter in more than 20 countries. He gained more than 400,000 new followers on Instagram on that day alone. Thousands of articles were published. Likes and shares reached the millions. Right-wing podcasters readied their rhetoric about “women in men’s locker rooms.” Casting directors reached out to Page’s manager saying it would be an honor to cast Page in their next big movie.

So, it was a lot. Over the course of two conversations, Page will say that understanding himself in all the specifics remains a work in progress. Fathoming one’s gender, an identity innate and performed, personal and social, fixed and evolving, is complicated enough without being under a spotlight that never seems to turn off. But having arrived at a critical juncture, Page feels a deep sense of responsibility to share his truth. “Extremely influential people are spreading these myths and damaging rhetoric—every day you’re seeing our existence debated,” Page says. “Transgender people are so very real.”

That role in Pit Pony led to other productions and eventually, when Page was 16, to a film called Mouth to Mouth. Playing a young anarchist, Page had a chance to cut his hair again. This time, he shaved it off completely. The kids at his high school teased him, but in photos he has posted from that time on social media he looks at ease. Page’s head was still shaved when he mailed in an audition tape for the 2005 thriller Hard Candy. The people in charge of casting asked him to audition again in a wig. Soon, the hair was back.

Page’s tour de force performance in Hard Candy led, two years later, to Juno, a low-budget indie film that brought Page Oscar, BAFTA and Golden Globe nominations and sudden megafame. The actor, then 21, struggled with the stresses of that ascension. The endless primping, red carpets and magazine spreads were all agonizing reminders of the disconnect between how the world saw Page and who he knew himself to be. “I just never recognized myself,” Page says. “For a long time I could not even look at a photo of myself.” It was difficult to watch the movies too, especially ones in which he played more feminine roles.

Page loved making movies, but he also felt alienated by Hollywood and its standards. Alia Shawkat, a close friend and co-star in 2009’s Whip It,describes all the attention from Juno as scarring. “He had a really hard time with the press and expectations,” Shawkat says. “‘Put this on! And look this way! And this is sexy!’”

By the time he appeared in blockbusters like X-Men: The Last Stand and Inception, Page was suffering from depression, anxiety and panic attacks. He didn’t know, he says, “how to explain to people that even though [I was] an actor, just putting on a T-shirt cut for a woman would make me so unwell.” Shawkat recalls Page’s struggles with clothes. “I’d be like, ‘Hey, look at all these nice outfits you’re getting,’ and he would say, ‘It’s not me. It feels like a costume,’” she says. Page tried to convince himself that he was fine, that someone who was fortunate enough to have made it shouldn’t have complaints. But he felt exhausted by the work required to “just exist,” and thought more than once about quitting acting.

In 2014, Page came out as gay, despite feeling for years that “being out was impossible” given his career. (Gender identity and sexual orientation are, of course, distinct, but one queer identity can coexist with another.) In an emotional speech at a Human Rights Campaign conference, Page talked about being part of an industry “that places crushing standards” on actors and viewers alike. “There are pervasive stereotypes about masculinity and femininity that define how we’re all supposed to act, dress and speak,” Page went on. “And they serve no one.”

The actor started wearing suits on the red carpet. He found love, marrying choreographer Emma Portner in 2018. He asserted more agency in his career, producing his own films with LGBTQ leads like Freeheld and My Days of Mercy. And he made a masculine wardrobe a condition of taking roles. Yet the daily discord was becoming unbearable. “The difference in how I felt before coming out as gay to after was massive,” says Page. “But did the discomfort in my body ever go away? No, no, no, no.”

In part, it was the isolation forced by the pandemic that brought to a head Page’s wrestling with gender. (Page and Portner separated last summer, and the two divorced in early 2021. “We’ve remained close friends,” Page says.) “I had a lot of time on my own to really focus on things that I think, in so many ways, unconsciously, I was avoiding,” he says. He was inspired by trailblazing trans icons like Janet Mock and Laverne Cox, who found success in Hollywood while living authentically. Trans writers helped him understand his feelings; Page saw himself reflected in P. Carl’s memoir Becoming a Man. Eventually “shame and discomfort” gave way to revelation. “I was finally able to embrace being transgender,” Page says, “and letting myself fully become who I am.”

This led to a series of decisions. One was asking the world to call him by a different name, Elliot, which he says he’s always liked. Page has a tattoo that says E.P. PHONE HOME, a reference to a movie about a young boy with that name. “I loved E.T. when I was a kid and always wanted to look like the boys in the movies, right?” he says. The other decision was to use different pronouns—for the record, both he/him and they/them are fine. (When I ask if he has a preference on pronouns for the purposes of this story, Page says, “He/him is great.”)

A day before we first speak, Page will talk to his mom about this interview and she will tell him, “I’m just so proud of my son.” He grows emotional relating this and tries to explain that his mom, the daughter of a minister, who was born in the 1950s, was always trying to do what she thought was best for her child, even if that meant encouraging young Page to act like a girl. “She wants me to be who I am and supports me fully,” Page says. “It is a testament to how people really change.”

Another decision was to get top surgery. Page volunteers this information early in our conversation; at the time he posted his disclosure on Instagram, he was recovering in Toronto. Like many trans people, Page emphasizes being trans isn’t all about surgery. For some people, it’s unnecessary. For others, it’s unaffordable. For the wider world, the media’s focus on it has sensationalized transgender bodies, inviting invasive and inappropriate questions. But Page describes surgery as something that, for him, has made it possible to finally recognize himself when he looks in the mirror, providing catharsis he’s been waiting for since the “total hell” of puberty. “It has completely transformed my life,” he says. So much of his energy was spent on being uncomfortable in his body, he says. Now he has that energy back.

For the transgender community at large, visibility does not automatically lead to acceptance. Around the globe, transgender people deal disproportionately with violence and discrimination. Anti-trans hate crimes are on the rise in the U.K. along with increasingly transphobic rhetoric in newspapers and tabloids. In the U.S., in addition to the perennial challenges trans people face with issues like poverty and homelessness, a flurry of bills in state legislatures would make it a crime to provide transition-related medical care to trans youth. And crass old jokes are still in circulation. When Biden lifted the ban on open service for transgender troops, Saturday Night Live’s Michael Che did a bit on Weekend Update about the policy being called “don’t ask, don’t tuck.”

Page says coming out as trans was “selfish” on one level: “It’s for me. I want to live and be who I am.” But he also felt a moral imperative to do so, given the times. Human identity is complicated and mysterious, but politics insists on fitting everything into boxes. In today’s culture wars, simplistic beliefs about gender—e.g., chromosomes = destiny—are so widespread and so deep-seated that many people who hold those beliefs don’t feel compelled to consider whether they might be incomplete or prejudiced. On Feb. 24, after a passionate debate on legislation that would ban discrimination against LGBTQ people, Representative Marie Newman, an Illinois Democrat, proudly displayed the pride flag in support of her daughter, who is trans. Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene, a Georgia Republican, responded by hanging a poster outside her office that read: There are TWO genders: MALE & FEMALE.

The next day Dr. Rachel Levine, who stands to become the first openly transgender federal official confirmed by the Senate, endured a tirade from Senator Rand Paul about “genital mutilation” during her confirmation hearing. My second conversation with Page happens shortly after this. He brings it up almost immediately, and seems both heartbroken and determined. He wants to emphasize that top surgery, for him, was “not only life-changing but lifesaving.” He implores people to educate themselves about trans lives, to learn how crucial medical care can be, to understand that lack of access to it is one of the many reasons that an estimated 41% of transgender people have attempted suicide, according to one survey.

Page has been in the political trenches for a while, having leaned into progressive activism after coming out as queer in 2014. For two seasons, he and best friend Ian Daniel filmed Gaycation, a Viceland series that explored LGBTQ culture around the world and, at one point, showed Page grilling Senator Ted Cruz at the Iowa State Fair about discrimination against queer people. In 2019, Page made a documentary called There’s Something in the Water, which explores environmental hardships experienced by communities of color in Nova Scotia, with $350,000 of his own money. That activism extends to his own industry: in 2017, he published a Facebook post that, among other things, accused director Brett Ratner of forcibly outing him as gay on the set of an X-Men movie. (A representative for Ratner did not respond to a request for comment.)

As a trans person who is white, wealthy and famous, Page has a unique kind of privilege, and with it an opportunity to advocate for those with less. According to the U.S. Trans Survey, a large-scale report from 2015, transgender people of color are more likely to experience unemployment, harassment by police and refusals of medical care. Nearly half of all Black respondents reported being denied equal treatment, verbally harassed and/or physically attacked in the past year. Trans people as a group fare much worse on such stats than the general population. “My privilege has allowed me to have resources to get through and to be where I am today,” Page says, “and of course I want to use that privilege and platform to help in the ways I can.”

Since his disclosure, Page has been mostly quiet on social media. One exception has been to tweet on behalf of the ACLU, which is in the midst of fighting anti-trans bills and laws around the country, including those that ban transgender girls and women from participating in sports. Mississippi Governor Tate Reeves says he will sign such a bill in the name of “protect[ing] young girls.” Page played competitive soccer and vividly recalls the agony of being told he would have to play on the girls’ team once he aged out of mixed-gender squads. After an appeal, Page was allowed to play with the boys for an additional year. Today, several bills list genitalia as a requirement for deciding who plays on which team. “I would have been in that position as a kid,” Page says. “It’s horrific.”

All this advocacy is unlikely to make life easier. “You can’t enter into certain spaces as a public trans person,” says the ACLU’s Strangio, “without being prepared to spend some percentage of your life being threatened and harassed.” Yet, while he seems overwhelmed at times, Page is also eager. Many of the political attacks on trans people—whether it is a mandate that bathroom use be determined by birth sex, a blanket ban on medical interventions for trans kids or the suggestion that trans men are simply wayward women beguiled by male privilege—carry the same subtext: that trans people are mistaken about who they are. “We know who we are,” Page says. “People cling to these firm ideas [about gender] because it makes people feel safe. But if we could just celebrate all the wonderful complexities of people, the world would be such a better place.”

Even if Page weren’t vocal, his public presence would communicate something powerful. That is in part because of what Paisley Currah, a professor of political science at Brooklyn College, calls “visibility gaps.” Historically, trans women have been more visible, in culture and in Hollywood, than trans men. There are many explanations: Our culture is obsessed with femininity. Men’s bodies are less policed and scrutinized. Patriarchal people tend to get more emotional about who is considered to be in the same category as their daughters. “And a lot of trans men don’t stand out as trans,” says Currah, who is a trans man himself. “I think we’ve taken up less of the public’s attention because masculinity is sort of the norm.”

During our interviews, Page will repeatedly refer to himself as a “transgender guy.” He also calls himself nonbinary and queer, but for him, transmasculinity is at the center of the conversation right now. “It’s a complicated journey,” he says, “and an ongoing process.”

While the visibility gap means that trans men have been spared some of the hate endured by trans women, it has also meant that people like Page have had fewer models. “There were no examples,” Page says of growing up in Halifax in the 1990s. There are many queer people who have felt “that how they feel deep inside isn’t a real thing because they never saw it reflected back to them,” says Tiq Milan, an activist, author and transgender man. Page offers a reflection: “They can see that and say, ‘You know what, that’s who I am too,’” Milan says. When there aren’t examples, he says, “people make monsters of us.”

For decades, that was something Hollywood did. As detailed in the 2020 Netflix documentary Disclosure, transgender people have been portrayed onscreen as villainous and deceitful, tragic subplots or the butt of jokes. In a sign of just how far the industry has come—spurred on by productions like Pose and trailblazers like Mock—Netflix offered to change the credits on The Umbrella Academy the same day that its star posted his statement on social media. Now when an episode ends, the first words viewers see are “Elliot Page.”

Today, there are many out trans and nonbinary actors, directors and producers. Storylines involving trans people are more common, more respectful. Sometimes that aspect of identity is even incidental, rather than the crux of a morality tale. And yet Hollywood can still seem a frightening place for LGBTQ people to come out. “It’s an industry that says, ‘Don’t do that,’” says director Silas Howard, who got his break on Amazon’s show Transparent, which made efforts to hire transgender crew members. “I wouldn’t have been hired if they didn’t have a trans initiative,” Howard says. “I’m always aware of that.”

So what will it mean for Page’s career? While Page has appeared in many projects, he also faced challenges landing female leads because he didn’t fit Hollywood’s narrow mold. Since Page’s Instagram post, his team is seeing more activity than they have in years. Many of the offers coming in—to direct, to produce, to act—are trans-related, but there are also some “dude roles.”

Downtime in quarantine helped Page accept his gender identity. “I was finally able to embrace being transgender,” he says.

Page was attracted to the role of Vanya in The Umbrella Academy because—in the first season, released in 2019—Vanya is crushed by self-loathing, believing herself to be the only ordinary sibling in an extraordinary family. The character can barely summon the courage to move through the world. “I related to how much Vanya was closed off,” Page says. Now on set filming the third season, co-workers have seen a change in the actor. “It seems like there’s a tremendous weight off his shoulders, a feeling of comfort,” says showrunner Steve Blackman. “There’s a lightness, a lot more smiling.” For Page, returning to set has been validating, if awkward at times. Yes, people accidentally use the wrong pronouns—“It’s going to be an adjustment,” Page says—but co-workers also see and acknowledge him.

The debate over whether cisgender people, who have repeatedly collected awards for playing trans characters, should continue to do so has largely been settled. However, trans actors have rarely been considered for cisgender parts. Whatever challenges might lie ahead, Page seems exuberant about playing a new spectrum of roles. “I’m really excited to act, now that I’m fully who I am, in this body,” Page says. “No matter the challenges and difficult moments of this, nothing amounts to getting to feel how I feel now.”

This includes having short hair again. During our interview, Page keeps rearranging strands on his forehead. It took a long time for him to return to the barber’s chair and ask to cut it short, but he got there. And how did that haircut feel?

Page tears up again, then smiles. “I just could not have enjoyed it more,” he says.”

#suicide m #transphobia m #Elliot Page #transgender #representation #celebrities #actors #tv #movies #rep #trans #transmasculine #nonbinary #queer #long post

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theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin · 3 years

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In your latest post, you said that Dumbledore MEANT to put Harry in a abusive household. That, or when he found out he did nothing to stop it. Why is that?

You’re going to get a lot of people angry with me. Well, I suppose they’re already angry. Somewhere out there, on the wider internet.

Right, anyway, the evidence of Harry’s abuse is so overwhelming that it seems improbable to me that Dumbledore wasn’t aware of what was happening. More, every interaction he has with not only Harry, but characters in similar circumstances, lends me to believe that in the event that Dumbledore does know he’d take no action.

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone: Scene 1

We start out the entire Harry Potter series with Minerva and Dumbledore waiting in the early dawn for Hagrid’s arrival and to place Harry with the Dursleys. Minerva immediately announces her discomfort with this,

She specifically says the following:

"You don't mean — you can't mean the people who live here? Dumbledore, you can't. You couldn't find two people who are less like us."

Lily Evans’ relatives are infamous enough such that Minerva McGonagall, who is presumably not as close as her like aged peers (i.e. Sirius, Remus, and Peter) knows about them.

Granted, some of this is anti-muggle sentiment. Minerva isn’t sure that suburban muggles raising a magical child like Harry Potter is a good idea. Nevertheless, she has deep misgivings, and relays them to Dumbledore.

We know from further evidence that Dumbledore is perfectly aware of what Petunia and Vernon are like as well. He gives Harry to the Dursleys anyway.

Dumbledore, for his own reasons, chooses not to listen.

Dumbledore’s Letter to Petunia

Dumbledore writes a letter to Petunia, knowing it is highly necessary, as he gives Harry to the family. The letter is... vaguely threatening but in a very polite Dumbledore way. It pretty much implies “Take Harry, or else, also be nice to your dead sister.”

The point is, Dumbledore is aware that this letter is highly necessary. And then... other things happen.

Dumbledore Sends Hagrid

Dumbledore sends Hagrid to pick Harry up.

Ordinarily, in such circumstances, Minerva is sent to introduce muggleborn children to the Wizarding World. “Perhaps she was busy,” you say, too busy for Harry Potter? Wizard Jesus and the child of perhaps her favorite students who she openly favors throughout the series?

“Perhaps Dumbledore was being nice to Hagrid, and he had an errand to do anyway,” well, it’s all well and good to be nice to Hagrid, but is he really the best guy to introduce anybody to the Wizarding World?

This is Hagrid, the likelihood of him having taken Harry to an exotic pet shop where Harry then gets eaten by the Chupacabra is 95%. The 5% where it didn’t happen is because Hagrid went to the pet shop alone and some, distant, rational part of his brain told him that Harry would want the pretty owl vs. the one-eyed blood sucking rat demon in the cage next to her.

You don’t send Hagrid if you want a child returned to you with all its limbs intact.

So why do you send Hagrid?

When you want someone who’s so painfully oblivious, loyal, and stupid that they could stare a hellscape in the face and wouldn’t even notice.

Hagrid gets a firsthand view of Harry’s living conditions. He learns that Harry’s relatives have been actively blocking Harry’s letters, that they have run across the country to avoid them. He sees the state of Harry’s clothing in comparison to Dudley, how thin Harry is in comparison to Dudley, and the way the family interacts with each other.

Harry’s child abuse is staring Hagrid right in the face.

Minerva would demand that Harry be placed somewhere else, they can find some other means of protecting him.

What does Hagrid do?

He gives Dudley a pig’s tail illegally and proceeds to tell Harry that Dumbledore is the greatest man who ever lived.

Other Evidence Comes to Light

Other characters start getting pretty big warning signs that all��s not right at the Potters.

Ron and Hermione know the situation is “bad” and that Harry’s relatives “hate magic”. They’re also kids and don’t really understand what this means, the idea of being abused and hated by your guardians is unthinkable to them and Harry doesn’t come out and just say it.

That said, they’ve seen enough that they drop hints to those around them. Mr. and Mrs. Weasley are told about the bars on Harry’s window. Ron was so concerned about Harry in the summer after first year that he steals his father’s car with Fred and George to go pick him up. That is not normal behavior, that is deep concern for your friend.

Despite all of this... nothing happens.

Hermione spends far more time at the Weasleys then Harry ever does. Every summer, he returns to Privet Drive, and it’s likely if Arthur and Molly did have concerns Dumbledore told them off.

Arabella Figg

Arabella has been keeping an eye on Harry for years. She’s noted some very disturbing trends and been witness to years of the Dursleys interacting with Harry Potter.

She passes this information on to Dumbledore.

He knows how bad it is.

Harry Potter

Harry tells Dumbledore he does not wish to remain at the Dursleys, he notes that they don’t like him and he doesn’t like them. Now, he tries to downplay it, but this is a child saying some pretty disturbing things. You don’t brush this off.

Dumbledore does.

Dumbledore Visits the Dursleys

In book 6, Dumbledore visits the Dursleys and sees, in person, how bad it is. However, he shows no surprise, only vague disappointment in Petunia. Tsk, tsk, Petunia, I thought you were better than this.

He offers a few threats and then he and Harry go on their merry way.

Severus Snape

Snape is Dumbledore’s spy who reads Harry’s mind for half a year. Granted, Snape is a bastard who loathes Harry Potter, but he sees evidence of the Dursleys abuse of Harry.

We know, from what he relays to Dumbledore later, that he had at least some concern for Harry and was very disturbed by Dumbledore’s plan to murder him in cold blood due to the horcrux.

I think it’s very likely Severus Snape knew and told Dumbledore that Harry was being abused. I’m sure Albus’ response was, “Bitch, I know, would you like a lemon drop?”

Point being, there is no conceivable way that Albus Dumbledore, even if he was the world’s dumbest man, didn’t know exactly how bad it was. He let’s it happen anyway.

But What About the Blood Wards?

Dumbledore eventually tells Harry that the reason he can’t run away from Privet Drive is because of the blood wards created by his mother. They can only be applied if he lives with blood relatives and protect the Dursley house as long as Harry considers it home.

Now, this is a bit suspect given that Harry really considers Hogwarts his home, Privet Drive is just that hell hole he has to go back to every summer. Even the Burrow is more his home than Privet Drive so... That doesn’t sound right.

More, though, there are other means of protection.

There’s the Fidelius which Dumbledore casts on Sirius’ house in book 5. Given that, Harry really could have lived with Sirius (well, Sirius is not in a good place to have a kid around and that would be a disaster and a half). Point being, Harry could be raised elsewhere and there are wards that could protect him.

More, Voldemort and the Death Eaters are out of commission for thirteen years. Indeed, we see Dumbledore up Harry’s security detail by secretly assigning the Order to tail him after fourth year.

So, for a very long time, it’s not about Harry’s protection and when it does become that we see Dumbledore make significant changes.

So, what could it be?

Well, let’s look at Dumbledore’s other actions. Dumbledore prevents Harry from becoming prefect because “he thought it would go to his head”. Which, Harry should absolutely not be made prefect at all, and Ron’s a laughable candidate too but...

To me that’s very telling.

I hate to say this, but this is Dumbledore, but I think he has a very similar reasoning behind Harry going to the Dursleys.

He doesn’t want Harry to be corrupted by the Boy Who Lived persona. He wants him in a certain state of mind when he enters into the wizarding world and... Frankly, he wants him vulnerable. Dumbledore, in time, will need to either murder this boy or have him kill himself. If Harry has a halfway decent guardian, that task becomes a hell of a lot harder.

Harry has to love the wizarding world so much, trust Dumbledore so much, that these things are worth dying for.

You Mentioned Something About Dumbledore’s Other Actions?

Dumbledore has no sympathy for victims of child abuse.

Tom Riddle, an impoverished orphan loathed by those in his orphanage, he thinks is the very devil and sends him back into the Blitz with a smile and a wave. Enjoy the bombs, Tom, hope you die.

Severus Snape, the half blood child of an abusive muggle father and absentee mother, who is nearly murdered by Sirius Black via Remus Lupin, is told to shut the fuck up and sit down before he ruins the lives of his betters.

Dumbledore has a very bad track record with this and, well, Harry Potter is not an exception.

To be fair, I think the wizarding world has not concept of CPS or even child abuse. There’s no hint of a foster system, you go to the closest relative of the godparents. So, I think to them, you’re stuck with whoever you’re stuck with and if your uncle rapes you then it sucks to be you.

#ask #theviolettulip #harry potter #albus dumbledore

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to-many-towered-camelot · 3 years

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magical adultery

I don’t know how many modern Arthurian adaptations there are where Guinevere and Lancelot’s affair is due to magic rather than choice (I’m thinking of BBC Merlin, but maybe there’s others? Anyway there’s a wider trend in Arthuriana that’s worth discussing)...

But I’ve always thought that narrative choices like this in modern adaptations are...interesting, because they’re made to preserve any shred of empathy the modern audience has for Lancelot or Guinevere as characters, since we’re generally primed through pop culture to view Arthur as a fantastic, moral leader (with the corollary that cheating on him is an awful betrayal). And we’re also primed to view Lancelot and Arthur as close friends, and Arthur as a good spouse, so Arthur is especially blameless and very wronged in our eyes.

(Guinevere my beloved 🥺)

Somehow, as a modern audience, it’s harder for us to tolerate Guinevere especially for loving/sleeping with someone who isn’t her husband, when in the middle ages it was not shocking at all for a woman much younger than her arranged husband to...not be keen on him, to the point where there is an entire literary tradition centred around this (leaving aside the fact that Arthur also cheats on her first and tries to execute her multiple times but w/e, how medieval lit responded to things like that often wasn’t very kind to the woman). Part of this is because we have different ideas of how marriage functions societally, and around love/sex/relationships. As modern readers/viewers we expect specific things from married women as the heteronormative default - joyful/loving fidelity, rather than obedient fidelity, i.e. we expect women to be incredibly emotionally invested in relationships, often far more than any male partner - and we forgive the men in these situations far more easily than the women (...this is nothing new I admit).

So BBC Guinevere needed to be completely ensorcelled and blame-free or she would never have been allowed to end up with Arthur (adultery is not allowed on the BBC apparently?? 😂 what story did they think they were telling asdgf ghjk???). As the former love-interest, Lancelot was literally not allowed to even be alive for Guinevere and Arthur’s relationship to go ahead...just to make it super clear that Guinevere loves Arthur and only Arthur. It’s so interesting how our expectations for women’s behaviour evolve, and how in some ways - despite cultural differences between the middle ages and now - they haven’t really changed that much.

[It’s like as our perceptions of Guinevere’s situation changed (arranged marriage with an older man is now fair game for criticism, and we no longer necessarily view women in that situation as having any sort of ‘duty’ to their husbands or ‘owing’ them anything...lol theoretically, this sort of misogyny is still very much a thing), we changed her situation to keep the emotions we associate with her the same. We judge and condemn her for “betraying” Arthur - so now she married him willingly, and he’s a good husband, and her own age. We rage at her for “ruining” Arthur and Lancelot’s relationship - once that of a lord and vassal (leading to a decay of the Round Table and breakdown of those homosocial bonds, etc.), they are now best friends who have been torn apart by a love triangle. All this because misogyny is a historical constant and god forbid we show any empathy for Guinevere...it’s apparently easier to restructure all of these character relationships than it is to view her in a sympathetic light.]

BUT ANYWAY the whole point of this long, rambly post: I’ve never realised that you can connect this phenomenon of blameless adultery back to Tristan and Isolde, and their caused-by-a-love-potion-so-they-really-genuinely-couldn’t-help-it situation (like, connect thematically, not causatively).

Even back when medieval romances were being written, and people loved adulterous love (like, it’s the backbone of the courtly love tradition), they still didn’t always love the women involved in it (e.g. Guinevere, apparently one key causative agent in Camelot’s downfall, because something something Eve something something apple something something women are the root of all evil and a plague upon men). But there isn’t really that same attitude towards Isolde - she’s the ultimate wish-fulfilment in an already wish-fulfilment genre, in that she both ~gives in~ to loving a man who is not her husband, and also literally cannot be blamed for it (i.e. therefore can still possess those Good Old medieval virtues that she as a woman is supposed to have).

So Isolde fills the same niche as BBC Merlin’s Gwen, in that she loses her autonomy and so conforms to societal expectations of a “good” woman while still fulfilling the narrative role we want her to play (i.e. adulterous). And this is the only way she can avoid punishment for participating in this narrative (...uh, not that Isolde escaped punishment, lol, but you get what I mean...also I haven’t touched on how modern audiences reacted to Angel Coulby as Gwen but I, um, do wonder whether this contributed to how ”perfect” Guinevere had to be in order for wider audiences to tolerate her 😬 which is a whole separate conversation in itself)

#arthuriana #Arthurian legend #guinevere #lancelot #arthur #Isolde #Tristan #*#courtly love #medieval romance #medieval literature #arthurian literature #lmaooo this post goes nowhere but i just find it INTERESTING how we interact with the women in arthuriana #arthurian ladies #gender #sexism #ask to tag #im not sure if this needs a tag about consent issues #bbc merlin

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anika-ann · 3 years

Text

Attached: Word Is that We Might Work It Out

Type: Modern-college-professor AU - part of Attached series

Pairing: professor!Steve Rogers x reader Word count: 6850🙈

Summary: You said yes to Professor Rogers – Steve – taking you out for ‘coffee’. Ball’s in your court – and you decide to make your move.

A date, maybe first of many, maybe not. A date with the gorgeous professor who happened to read your erotica about him. What could possibly go wrong?

Warnings: alcohol consumption, professor-student relationship and unspecified age gap, language, lots of fluff

A/N: Timeline-wise, this one-shot fits in after chapter four of Attached!!! At the end, you can find the reason behind me writing this. You can consider it one big flashback, if you will 😅 Gif by capchrisevaans.

Series masterlist | previous in timeline

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You lasted one day. One full day since the encounter in the office, since Professor Rogers admitted he would like to take you out for coffee or something similar. Since you two exchanged numbers.

It took you twenty-four hours – maybe less – to decide that so what if that might be a bad idea. It was not against the university rules and Professor Steve Rogers was a fucking specimen who also seemed to be a genuinely nice human being and if you allowed yourself to play chicken just because something only might go wrong in the future, you’d be an idiot.

Penny, your roomie, wholeheartedly agreed. She actually punched the air in victory as you were nursing a greasy lunch due to the wild-ish celebration of the end of the semester together the night prior and you just said to the void: “You know what, screw it. I’m gonna go for it.”

You didn’t even have to say what you were talking about – Professor Rogers had been the topic ever since the faithful Monday.

So you texted him that if the offer still stood, you’d like to meet up on Friday evening. Was he free?

Hey, Y/N :) Thank you for reaching out. Friday sounds great. Do you have anything specific in mind?

“Dude. He’s such a cutie. Who even texts like that?” Penny chuckled, a wide grin on her face as you couldn’t but read the text out loud.

“I texted him like that.”

“Touché. Because you want to impress mister ‘hot as fuck intellectual’ there.”

You just rolled your eyes, neither confirming nor denying. Mostly because Penny was right. But he was the first to use an emoji and… yeah, cutie indeed.

Well, I never say no to dinner and I’m down for almost anything-

“I bet you are,” Penny hummed to your ear and you swung after her blindly and thought of a better phrasing.

Well, I never say no to a dinner and I’m not picky. You choose. Seven-ish sounds good?

“Spoilsport.”

“Stop reading over my shoulder!” you chuckled and bit your lip as the answer came almost immediately.

Seven is alright. I’ll think of something to treat a girl right ;)

Your stomach made a small somersault, your face instantly radiating heat at the possible innuendo. The phone vibrated again before you could fully process the image your mind painted of him actually saying it in his gentle timbre.

Just so we’re clear, what is the nature of the dinner? It can be whatever you feel comfortable with.

Your heart leaped into your throat, hammering wildly.

That was the question, wasn’t it? Since you texted him, you made one thing clear with yourself. If you were doing this, it was going to be a date. You wouldn’t be doing things by halves.

Penny next to you made a noise that sounded as something between an aww and her gagging on nothing. “He’s disgustingly considerate for a man his age planning on going out with a girl your age.”

“He’s not that much older,” you protested instantly, frowning. He wasn’t. She knew that; you had both done your research. “And I think it’s amazing.”

You caught Penny’s smile from the corner of your eye as you typed.

“Well, it is kinda sweet. And I know he’s not, I’m messing with you. It’s just-- DON’T SEND HIM THAT!”

“Why?” you questioned, looking at her quizzically and totally clicking on send on purpose at the same time.

I’d be comfortable with a date if you are.

“It’s so lame. Of course he’s comfortable with a date, he suggested it. Duh.”

The reply came way too fast and Penny chuckled behind you as your jaw went slack.

“You know what? Don’t mind me. Good job. Keep it up,” Penny patted your shoulder as you stared at the screen where Professor Steven Grant Rogers just texted you a damn heart.

It’s a date <3

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It was a date indeed.

Steve texted you an address on Friday morning (along with an adorable good morning :) ), apologizing that he couldn’t pick you up, making sure you’d be alright getting there on your own. You found it absolutely sweet, considerate and smart. You suspected that his ‘inability’ to pick you up had something to do with the fact that you lived at the dorms and if he showed up there, it would be trending in the university chit-chat room within five minutes.

You spent a better part of the Friday afternoon researching the place and the weather forecast so you could dress accordingly and getting ready.

You were not ready for a date with Steve Rogers however; your nerves were a mess and nothing could ever prepare you for when he showed up perfectly on time in front of the restaurant---- wearing a suit no less.

How were you supposed to function when he was wearing such elegant clothing, a suit he filled up so fucking well?! And he looked just as breath-taking as always, stupidly perfect beard and slightly tousled hair you just wanted to run your fingers through and his smile was so gorgeous and--- Jesus Fucking Christ, the suit- how could you even put words together when looking at him-

“Wow, I feel so underdressed now.”

Clearly, you could speak just fine, only you lost your brain-to-mouth filter. Also, your mouth might have started watering and your heart was pounding like crazy. You would not survive tonight.

But, you also had a point. The restaurant was supposed to be a nice place, but relatively plain. And he showed up in amazingly fitting dress pants, white shirt, a tie and a suit jacket. So yes, you did feel underdressed.

“Oh no, no! You’re not,” he rushed to reassure you, eyeing your semi-leisure white dress with burgundy flowers with an attentive gaze that had you shifting your weight nervously. “I’m overdressed if anything. Sticking out like a sore thumb, I’m sorry.”

You could always just strip the suit jacket, was your first thought, but luckily for you, this time you managed to contain the words before they got out to the open.

“You’re fine,” you said instead, not knowing how else to react; needless to say you were grateful for the smile he gave you despite the double meaning.

Yes, he was fine indeed. Always. It was unfair, really.

“Thanks. You too. In fact, you look beautiful.”

Your heart stopped in your chest, your mind suddenly racing a mile per minute.

It was ridiculous. It was just a word. But for one, it was spoken so kindly and genuinely you couldn’t but think he meant it, for two, it was Professor Steve Rogers who told you that and--- beautiful.

You couldn’t remember a guy ever calling you beautiful.

Cute? Sure. Pretty? Maybe. Hot? Might have happened once or twice . But beautiful?

You might actually swoon.

And you were so lost in your head that you couldn’t but silently stare at the lethally handsome man in front of you and then it again registered in your brain that this was your fucking crush speaking to you and he was on a date with you and he had read your erotica, one that was about him no less-

Your face was set aflame in an instant and you… you couldn’t let out a word.

“It everything okay? Did I… did I say something wrong?” Steve asked hesitantly, a concerned wrinkle appearing between his brows and it reminded you of all the times you had seen him wearing such thoughtful expression in the two classes he taught instead of Professor Barnes and-

You were screwed.

Tonight was going to be a disaster.

“No, uhm, no, sorry--- maybe we should go inside or-“ you muttered, lightly gesturing towards the door and could you get any more awkward?

“Yeah, sure, sounds good.”

He let you walk in first like a real gentleman, the lightest skim of his fingers on your lower back, which caused your heartbeat to skyrocket; and only when the hostess seated you, you realized you never accepted his kind compliment.

It was too late for that now, you assumed, so you sipped at the still water which waited at each table, and repeated like a mantra to yourself that you needed to get your shit together otherwise you’d ruin your shot before the night even started.

But clearly, you succeeded at that already.

Whatever awkward aura you had around yourself, it seemed to extend now to him too – he shifted slightly in his seat (he had pulled out your chair for you before, because of course he had), his shoulders stiff. Despite that, he smiled at you over the menu.

“So… all exams worked out? Enjoying the freedom?” he asked casually.

“Oh, yes. Yeah.”

“Congratulations.”

“Thanks,” you uttered with a forced smile, your stomach twisted unpleasantly.

For some reason, you felt like you were having a lame attempt at small talk with a professor, which you were, but it wasn’t supposed to be like that.

Not tonight. Not on a date.

What were you even doing here? What were you playing at? Professor Steve Rogers was entirely out of your league, gorgeous, funny, kind and smart and here you were, barely making conversation.

It was pathetic really. It was embarrassing for both of you.

“You up to anything fun?” he queried, the question less enthusiastic than the one before. He was already growing tired of making your uncooperative brain work at least a bit, it was obvious.

Your gulped as the memory of last night popped in your head – staying in, quiet evening, in a mood for some dirty writing--- oh bless, another reminder of why this dinner was and should be really weird.

Steve read your smutty story. The one about him.

“Nothing special,” you squealed silently, earning a plain nod. “Eh, we went out with Penny, my roommate and best friend in one person. But mostly I just stayed in and--- caught up on sleeping.”

“I know what that’s like,” Steve hummed, clearly as grateful as you were when the waiter appeared by your table to take your orders.

Silence stretched as the man left, your hand beginning to fiddle with the neatly folded napkin on the table, lump growing in your throat due to your nerves.

“What about you? Anything… fun?” you asked reluctantly, noticing a brief smile passing Steve’s lips. Pretty, sinfully pretty lips. Perfect. Untouchable for mere mortals like you.

“Oh, not much. Few exam sittings, faculty meetings – we had one now, hence the suit-“

“You came here right from school?” you blurted out, startled – and clearly surprising him with your rudeness. “Sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it. Yes, I did. We have a meeting every last Friday of the month.”

“Oh my god, you must be so tired,” you sympathized with him quietly, the uneasy feeling in your stomach only growing. He came here straight from work and for this? “Why didn’t you say something? We could have postponed or something.”

Steve swiftly shook his head, his warm hand landing on yours, gently stopping your restless fingers. This time, it was butterflies in your stomach erupting with life, the sweet comforting gesture warming your heart. He wanted to be here. He came here for you. He was interested in you.

And the feeling was mutual. So why was it being so weird then?

“Hey, it’s okay. I’m glad you reached out. I’m glad that you said yes in the first place,” he admitted, features softening despite the tension in his shoulders never leaving. His brows furrowed as he slowly withdrew his hand – it must have been an automatic reaction then. “I’m not that tired and… and maybe I was little worried that if I asked for a different date, then…”

He trailed off and your lips parted in surprise, your heart swelling in your chest at what he was implying.

Did he think you’d back out? Did he think that all the potential obstacles intimidated you too much? That you’d think it wasn’t worth it? That it wouldn’t work out anyway?

Seeing as you were now, you couldn’t blame him. Despite him being the world’s most charming man, here you were, being… not at all yourself, stressing for no reason.

It seemed to you that had had chemistry, back there in his office. This date made sense. When you imagined how this could unfold, well, it went a bit differently too. There was considerably less embarrassment going around.

This was why you preferred writing to speaking. That’s why you liked daydreaming. Because reality was often less than ideal, no script, awkward silences, misunderstandings…

“I’m sorry,” you whispered, your voice barely audible as your food arrived.

You both thanked the waiter politely and you hoped that at least now you’d have a good excuse for the lack of normal conversation.

“What are you sorry for?”

You sighed and nibbled on your lower lip, not missing the way his gaze instinctively flickered there, pupils dilating just a fraction – but enough for you to notice. Your heart skipped a pleased beat – but the undeniable physical attraction couldn’t be enough.

“For this,” you said, gesturing vaguely between the two of you. His features twisted in disappointment and something that looked a lot like regret flashed in his eyes. “I want to be here, Steve. I really do. I don’t know what’s wrong with me-“

“There’s absolutely nothing wrong with you,” he was quick to oppose and you couldn’t help it as a wry chuckle escaped you.

“Well, there’s certainly nothing wrong with you. And still, there’s this…”

“…tension?”

You wished.

“Sort of? But not the fun kind, for sure.”

He grimaced, but a spark of amusement lit up his blue irises. “Awkward air around us?”

“Yes!” you exclaimed victoriously as he voiced exactly what you were thinking. Then you quickly lowered your voice, looking around. Luckily, no one stared at you. You realized you leaned closer to him over the table, your heart racing at that, but you didn’t withdraw; it was a lovely opportunity to get even a better look at his perfect face. “But I don’t know why!” You knew why. “I like you, Steve-“

“I like you too. And I know I already said that, but you look stunning.”

Your cheeks burned again, but this time, you managed to stutter out a thank you at least. Stunning, Jesus, was he for real?

“T-thank you. You look incredibly handsome too. Then again you always do—why did I say that.”

One corner of his lips quirked up.

“Why thank you, I’m glad you did. The feeling’s mutual, believe me.”

“Then why does this feel like one of the most awkward dates I’ve ever been to?!” you whisper-yelled, causing him to chuckle, the tips of his ears turning red.

His hand once again landed on yours, this time deliberately, the gesture warming you in more than one way.

“Well… I’m nervous. You might be too.” You hummed in agreement. Was that all it was? “But the way you said it, at least it seems to me that it could have been worse, right? More awkward?”

You felt the corners of your lips rise at the remark, shrugging. He had a point there. And he squeezed your hand a bit and good Lord, it should not be making your heart race so much, but he was touching you and he was being really sweet and his fingers were nice and warm and long-

“Tell me.”

You blinked in surprise, realizing you had been staring at your joined hands. You raised your gaze, finding him watching you with a subtle smile.

“Tell you what?”

“Tell me about the most awkward date you have ever been to,” he clarified, his thumb caressing your wrist.

You only hesitated for a beat before you nodded in agreement, god knew why. Perhaps you did need a reminder that this could have gone much more disastrously and it was mostly your traitorous brain telling you that you were messing everything up.

Plus, Steve deserved whatever he wanted – so far, he was the only reason this date wasn’t as disastrous as it could be.

“Okay. You ever been to a speed dating event, Steve? Because I have.”

“Oh, this is ought to be good,” he noted with another squeeze to your hand, before he released you. Shame. He sipped at his wine and dug into his pasta. “I’m all ears.”

This is ought to be good, Steve said. Well, maybe. You certainly hadn’t thought so at the time.

Explaining to Steve that as you had been under duress from no other than Penny, you both went to the event which promised you meeting ten dashing men in only an hour. You’d get five minutes with each, as anonymous as you’d wished to be, receiving a folder with nothing but a table with the first names of the men and a yes and no option and a line for your own notes about them.

You weren’t sure what to think of it – but after three epically failed Tinder attempts, you agreed to try. If nothing else, you’d gain a new experience.

And an experience had it been. You even lasted a month with one of the guys, but you didn’t tell Steve that. It wasn’t important.

André was.

André Whatever-was-his-last-name – because that was how it worked, no last names – definitely believed he was important. With the guys moving around the tables from one woman to another, spending five minutes with each, you could already hear André closing to your station from two tables over.

He was hard to tune out, courtesy of the colour of his voice, extremely unpleasant to your ears, and him never letting the woman he faced talk. Always interrupting. Always turning the conversation around so it would be about him.

Asshole.

You liked to think you weren’t quick to judge people, but André was making you cringe before you were even introduced. And then you actually were.

A minute into his monologue to you, you felt like you were being tortured.

And then the waitress managed to stumble and spill a glass of white wine – partly over your table, but mostly on the floor. At least she caught the glass and you had but a tiny spot on your dress.

“She was apologizing so profusely and I wasn’t thinking, okay. I went for the napkins few tables over to help and— I didn’t realize I put the open folder down for everyone to see,” you explained, feeling like face-palming when you remembered the night.

Steve watched you in anticipation, a small smirk and a knowing look on his face as he guessed you had already circled ‘no’ for André at the time.

Oh, you wished it were that simple. You felt your cheeks burn hot as you continued.

“André read it, of course. Obviously, he already got a hard ‘no’ from me, but… I might have written a tiny note for myself as to why,” you admitted and Steve’s eyebrow rose minutely, his curiosity piqued even more.

You took a deep breath.

“I wasn’t exactly kind to him. It was something along the lines of self-important asshole who probably compensated for something.” Steve huffed in amusement. But oh, if he only knew... you sighed and continued. “And If Draco Malfoy and Gilderoy Lockhart had a love child, this would be him.”

No sound came from your companion this time and your teeth anxiously sank into our lower lip, your pulse wavering. What was Steve thinking? Did he think you had been rude? Mean even? Nerdy? All of the above?

He stared at you for full three seconds, clearly rendered speechless by your harsh judgement.

And then he burst out laughing.

Suffocating weight fell from your shoulders and you silently joined him as you explained yourself.

“I was in my Harry Potter phase! And in my defence, I think it was actually pretty accurate...”

“Oh, I don’t doubt that, sweetheart,” Steve chuckled lightly before laughing some more, irises twinkling with amusement and something… softer.

You shuddered upon hearing the endearment spill unwittingly from his lips, upon seeing the emotion on his face. And maybe you were a little proud of yourself for making him laugh and lose the tension in his shoulders completely.

“It was one of the longest and most awkward three minutes of my life, the silence that followed,” you huffed, massaging your forehead. “He did not appreciate the comparison.”

“I bet,” Steve cackled, taking another bite of his meal, smile playing in the corner of his lips as he swallowed and continued. “But you’ve got to give it to him, he knew his Harry Potter characters.”

“Ha! My thoughts exactly. But that’s a little bit of weak base for dating, I think, especially since I kinda already hated him.”

“Oh, you did? I didn’t catch that,” Steve joked lightly, causing you to smile despite the horrid memory.

And funnily enough, telling him and remembering it… it did make you feel better and more at ease with him.

“Ha ha ha, laugh it up, Professor. Your turn.”

“I’m sorry?” he said, clearly puzzled. It didn’t escape your notice as his voice faltered, his Adam’s apple bobbing at the addressing.

Oh, so that’ s still a thing. You couldn’t but smirk a bit at that.

“An awkward date. You have to share now, it’s only fair,” you shrugged, only for a terrible realization to dawn on you. “Please tell me there is at least one awkward date story, Steve. Tell me this isn’t really your worst date ever.”

He shook his head with a soft chuckle.

“Oh, there’s plenty. I’m just trying to think about one that won’t scare you away from me. I’d hate that.”

One corner of his lips raised, he looked you up and down, lingering on your lips for a bit before meeting your gaze, something you could only hope was fondness and wanton in his eyes. Your breath hitched, heat pooling in your abdomen at the thorough onceover despite the gentle tone of his voice.

Fuck how could he make you feel hot and soft at the same time.

Unable to stand the intensity of his stare, you lowered your gaze and gulped, your stomach making an excited slip. He did want you. You had been being silly, letting your nerves get the better of you.

Clearing your throat, you willed yourself to look up, finding him still watching closely – and perhaps, there was a hint of a red to his cheeks, the tip of his ears burning as if despite the blatant flirting, he was unsure of himself too, because he didn’t want to mess up with you either.

You found it absolutely endearing and your heart swelled. The way you got to see there was more to him than his professor side and his dashing looks… you felt incredibly lucky. The more you got to interact with him, the more it wasn’t just your sinful thoughts belonging to him – he was quickly working on stealing your heart as well.

Plucking up your courage, you were the one to reach out this time, carefully sweeping your thumb over the back of his hand, smiling.

“I’m not scared off all that easily, Steve.”

He mirrored your genuine smile, a glint of something you couldn’t read lighting up his eyes.

“That’s good to know,” he said lowly and sighed, narrowing his eyes as if he was assessing you again. “Alright, here goes…”

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You actually managed to get one more awkward date story from Steve, because frankly, his experiences were hilarious. And surprise surprise, he was a great narrator. Plus, while he talked, you could ogle him shamelessly without fear of looking strange.

But you guessed that since you were on a date, you could ogle him anyway. He didn’t seem to mind; in fact, whenever he got the opportunity, he reciprocated it. It finally did feel like a date, the air growing thicker as you gradually shifted closer and closer, the light touches prolonging, feet meeting under the table without parting as soon as they made contact.

Your belly kept warming up with each smile and laugh, with every second of the intense eye contact, with every flicker of his gaze to your lips and vice versa. Sharing a dessert was a terrible idea, because you wanted kiss the crumbs sticking on his lips away. You teased each other, you complimented each other – with Steve absolutely winning the undeclared contest – and you realized that despite sharing your most embarrassing dates with each other at the beginning, this was the absolute best you had ever been to.

And you didn’t want it to end.

The light sweater you had brought with you did nothing to shield you from the surprisingly lukewarm wind. As you wandered the streets, Steve finally heard out one of your first thoughts you had had when meeting him today – he shrugged off his suit jacket.

Which… yum. The seams of his shirt were crying for help and you could only think fo one way of helping them – taking his shirt off too. But alas, Steve didn’t continue the striptease, probably because you were on the street. Instead, he did the most wholesome thing and held out the jacket for you to slip into.

You only hesitated a moment, teeth sinking into your lower lip. How could you say no to that?

“That’s awfully cliché and really sweet at the same time,” you muttered, causing him to shrug, one corner of his lips raised in a smirk as he helped you put it on, forefinger most definitely deliberately caressing the side of your throat before withdrawing.

A shudder ran down your spine, electrifying feeling going straight to your core. The whiff of whatever cologne he was wearing enveloped you, clouding your senses. Goddammit he smelled so good.

“Maybe I just want to see you in my clothes,” he hummed, the suggestive remark knocking the breath straight out of your lungs.

Stepping to your side from behind your back, you caught a glimpse of his expression – a little bit smug, a little bit panicked as it probably registered with him just how much suggestive it was, perhaps crossing a line.

It was absolutely not crossing the line, because the thought of wearing his clothes, preferably grabbing it because you couldn’t find yours after you threw it all around the room as you frantically stripped each other was making your head spin in the best way.

“Maybe I’d really enjoy wearing your clothes after you rip off mine.”

Steve’s jaw went slack, a choked noise leaving him and you couldn’t but laugh at his dumbstruck expression. Surprise, professor, you little shit. I can keep up.

“That was… mean,” he said, clearing his throat. Your eyebrows rose, pot calling the kettle back style. “But I see how I deserved that.”

“Damn right… but that doesn’t mean it’s a lie,” you shrugged, chuckling at the exasperated look he shot you.

‘Man, she’s gonna fuck you up on a whole new level and I’ll be here for it in the front row with a bowl of popcorn,’ Barnes’ words to Steve which you weren’t meant to hear echoed in your head, making you grin.

The teasing was intense, yet you felt comfortable in it. You blamed Steve and his nature – he already felt like a guy to go lengths to make you feel at ease enough; the way he had kept insisting on you choosing whether this was a date or not only proved it. He made it easy to be yourself, making you feel like you could.

And he made it perfectly clear that he was enjoying seeing you like that, that he appreciated you as you were.

But the closer you got to the campus, the more the reality was settling in, your laughter fading, butterflies and heat replaced by anxiety. He was still a professor. If you went for it, it wouldn’t always be uncomplicated like this. The awkwardness crept in as your steps grew slower, the inevitable arriving.

He couldn’t walk you home, to walk you to the dorm, even if the desire to do so radiated from every fibre of his being. He couldn’t do that for the same reason he hadn’t picked you up.

You came to a stop, feeling like there was this invisible border to a safe, students-free part of the city, the line you couldn’t cross side by side.

“So, uhm… this is it, huh?” Steve hummed, grim. You appreciated the lame attempt at a smile though and reciprocated, turning to face him.

“Looks like it.”

Heavy silence settled over you pair. Your eyes trailed all over him, lingering on his face, noting as he did the same. He was beautiful; you didn’t care you should say that about a man. He was. The light in his eyes dimmed compared to that just a few moments ago, but it was still there, expression soft, almost as soft as his beard looked, causing your fingers to twitch in need to run them over it and pull him in for a kiss.

Your lips tingled as the idea. You had never kissed a man with a beard and you wanted to know how it felt. The fact it was Steve only sealed the deal and made the need grow exponentially.

You wanted to kiss him so bad. But here you stood, unable to move, unable to speak. You sighed.

“Would you-“ “I want to-“

“Sorry,” you and him said at the same time again, laughing it off quietly, your fingers running through your hair.

Your stomach clenched when you noticed his eyes following the movement almost wistfully.

“You go first,” he prompted you gently.

You didn’t argue – if you learned one thing tonight, it was that Steve was a gentleman and that was so rare these days that you wouldn’t want to discourage him from being that way. Even if you really wanted to know what he was about to say, as soon as possible.

“I… I just want to say thank you. For the… for the date. I had a good time, so I hope you had too, at least a little,” you offered lamely, feeling blood rushing to your cheeks.

Like a schoolgirl blushing in front of her professor. Jesus, why were you being like this again.

Steve didn’t seem to find you as awkward as you felt however, your name slipping from his lips, kind and soft.

“I had a very good time. You’re amazing.” Your lips parted at the blatant and genuine compliment. His eyes went wide. “I’m sorry, that came out so strong, I didn’t mean to put you in spot like that-“

Stronger than ‘maybe I just want to see you in my clothes?’ you asked yourself. No, you didn’t think so. It was just that the playfulness had left at least two blocks back.

This felt more serious. More intimate.

“Ditto,” you whispered, gracing him with a shy smile he instantly mirrored. “But hey, I already knew that, so…”

He chuckled, shaking his head lightly, his smile only growing. When he looked at you again, his eyes were the beautiful warm blue that made you weak in the knees.

“Would you like to do something like that again?” he queried lowly.

Yes. YES. YES PLEASE. Minus the awkwardness at the beginning and the one a moment ago, preferably.

“Yeah. I’d like that,” you agreed simply, taking note of how his face lit up even more.

How could a man be so indescribably hot and yet adorable enough to tug at your heartstrings?

“Good. I’m glad.”

He tugged at your hand unexpectedly, pulling you to your left, his other hand steadying you by gently grasping your forearm.

Before you could question his actions, a pair of men swaying in a drunken haze passed you, having no care in the world for whom they might crash into.

“Thanks,” blurted out lowly, sparing a second to shoot their backs a dirty glare.

But Steve’s hands were still on you, distracting, as you stood face to face, chest to chest, a little too close, a little too far. Your heart sped up in your ribcage, breathing picking up in anticipation. So close…

But all Steve did was to squeeze your forearm reassuringly, lifting your joined hands to his face.

Just like the day you agreed to get coffee with him, he kissed your knuckles, only this time it was much firmer. His smile was sweet and utterly irresistible as he kept looking at your face and you felt all the worries about the future melt away once again.

He was so precious and this felt so right and--- you didn’t want him to kiss your hand.

Well, you wanted it, but you wanted more too.

You had been aching to kiss that mouth since you had first set eyes on him, on that inhumanly gorgeous and hot creature. You were on a date, you both had a great time and clearly he was giving you the opportunity to decide how far you wanted to take this, because as much as every little touch of his made to crazy, the displays of affection were positively chaste.

And you wanted to take it very very far.

Your rational brain wouldn’t let you just hop into sac with him today, but fuck, you could do with a kiss. You wanted to feel that perfectly trimmed beard of his and you wanted to taste him.

Did he?

You stepped even closer as he let go of your hand, distracting you minutely; due to the sudden proximity, it landed on his chest and Jesus fucking Christ he was firm.

Your fingers clutched at the white fabric of his shirt as you observed his face, your gaze inevitably flickering to his lips. Glancing up once more to find him still watching you intently, pupils dilated, your breath caught in your throat, heat stirring in your belly.

Rising to your tiptoes, you gripped the fabric tighter and shortly pressed your lips to his.

It was a funny feeling – lips hot, soft and slightly chapped, a stark contrast to the beard, less rough than you expected, leaving a tingly sensation behind. It was different; exciting and addicting. Before he could react and before you could think twice, you kissed him again, this time lingering for a few seconds, your eyelids falling shut.

Your heart fluttered when you felt his lips reluctantly respond just as you withdrew, his grip on your arm tightening. You ran your tongue over your lips to savour the feeling, mouth instinctively curling up in a smile, gaze meeting his.

Little wrinkles appeared around his eyes as he smiled as well.

“You okay?”

You nodded, almost too eagerly, lowering back to your whole feet. Involuntarily, your gaze flickered to his mouth again, wanting more.

“Uhm… beard,” you piped up unhelpfully, pressing your lips together as soon as the admission left them.

Steve’s smile widened as he once again grasped your hand, leading it to cup his face – not before he dropped a kiss to your palm.

You almost let out a very embarrassing whine at the curious sensation, your mind, still enveloped in Steve’s warmth and cologne, wondering how the beard would feel elsewhere.

Your fingers unwittingly caressed the hair, thumb brushing his lips, unable to resist.

His Adam’s apple bobbed, lips parting, hot breath fanning over your skin as watched you.

“Sweetheart,” he breathed out and that was it – you pressed against the soft swollen flesh at the pet name, causing a low grumble echo in Steve’s chest.

And then his hand slid to your waist, the other sinking into your hair, and he pulled up into a kiss that had nothing to do with how patient he had been before. He was still a gentleman, but it was a close call – he angled your head to his liking, his lips dancing with yours in a sensual dance with just a tease of tongue licking at the seam of your lips, causing you to sigh in bliss, granting him access.

He hummed appreciatively, the sound shaking your bones as he held you flat against him, the heat of his body seeping into yours – as if every nerve ending in your body wasn’t on fire already. He breathed you in, consumed you entirely – there were no other words for it.

There weren’t many words you could think of to begin with, too busy feeling his broad shoulders under your palm, fingers roaming to find the soft hair at his nape, revelling at the taste of him, just a smidge of tongue and you wanted more, your insides twisting in need--- and oh, your back was pressed against a wall now.

You let out a small startled sound which Steve instantly swallowed – but it was a good wake up call for you both. The motions of his lips slowed, softened, a gentle caress more than anything, his thumb stroking your cheek.

Breathless, you chased after his mouth when he retreated, earning one small peck and then another. He rested his forehead against yours, nose briefly skimming yours, causing you to smile and meet his gaze.

“Sorry,” he muttered and you genuinely wanted to slap his arm or something for apologizing for that. Because you knew what you’d be thinking about for the next few hours, days even, hell, probably weeks. “For springing out like that. I just… wanted to do that for a long time.”

The admission had your heart skip a beat and you couldn’t but lean in to kiss the corner of his mouth – and nope, you weren’t over how it felt, his beard against your lips. You wouldn’t be over it for a long time, you suspected.

“Me too.”

“So… we’re doing this again, right?“

You smirked up at him as he reluctantly released you. “You springing out like that or-“

“Don’t test me, babygirl,” he nearly growled, causing your eyes going wide as saucers, feeling as if you were sucker punched to your gut – and liked it.

Babygirl. Jesus, he was going to be the death of you.

“You can spring out like that again too,” you chimed, your voice sounding a bit strangled, because holy shit he just called you that. His gaze flickered all over your face, a shade darker than before. Your underwear was thoroughly ruined with that single look… and the earlier make-out session. “But if we’re talking second dates, I’d definitely do that too.”

He huffed and shook his head, a chuckle escaping him.

“You’re a minx…. I think I like it.”

You grinned at him and then sighed regretfully, reaching to slip off the jacket, which made him frown.

“You could give it back later.”

“Don’t tempt me… don’t want to rob you of it--- and there would be questions,” you explained, knowing that even walking around the campus like what would raise rumours of god knew what.

Like, maybe someone would think some gentleman like Professor Steve Rogers himself lent it to you or something, gee, where would that come from...

Steve nodded in understanding, accepting the jacket and shrugging it on.

“Plus, I’m thoroughly warmed up,” you added cheekily, causing him to chuckle incredulously again. With a sigh, he leaned in, cradling your jaw in one large hand and pressed a sweet lingering kiss to your forehead.

You could melt on spot.

“Goodnight, sweetheart. Let me know when you get home safe?” he asked of you gently, tugging at your heartstrings some more, because of course he did.

“I will. You too?”

His smile was soft and sweet as he promised to do so, clearly touched by your care. Well, that made two of you.

“Goodnight, Steve. Thank you for tonight.”

“Thank you.”

You breathed in deeply, dropping a last kiss to his cheek and quickly spun on your heels to walk away – because if you wavered a second longer, you might have not left at all.

Sure, you looked back at him several times, finding him standing where you had left him, his eyes following your receding figure. But you kept walking.

And once you couldn’t see him anymore, you broke into a fit of giggles, hiding your face in your palms to muffle your delighted squeal.

You were just coming back to the dorms from the date with Steve Rogers.

And despite the hiccups, it was the best damn thing in the world, leaving you giddy and already craving another date and more. Your cheeks hurt from smiling by the time you made it to the dorms, your heart pounding excitedly the whole time.

As promised, you let Steve know you made there safe, earning another text with a heart. It only made you squeal again, fingers frantic as you replied – and with a kiss for goodnight so he knew you truly enjoyed your night, ending included.

What he didn’t know was that maybe, just maybe, the next evening you wrote a tiny story in which you elaborated at what could happen if he ever pushed you against a wall and kissed your breathless ever again.

And hopefully, he would.

Soon.

⊱-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦ ✉ ◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-⊰

Attached masterlist

⊱-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦ ✉ ◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-◦-⊰

...how it happened? I was asked about the first date, very kindly and in a no pressure manner.

S: Hey, just out of curiosity, you don’t really have to answer… how do you imagine their first date went?

me: Hm, let me think, I guess, mm, it would be like this--- oh shit. Oh no. It’s gonna be a fic again, isn’t it? Maybe I could finally write a headcanon or a drabble--- sigh.

As if I could ever.

Thank you for reading :-*

#fanfiction #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x you #professor steve rogers #steve rogers imagine #captain america au #modern au #professor au #college au #steve rogers #captain america #student reader #steve rogers fanfiction #steve rogers fanfic #word is that we might work it out #attached #attached: word is that we might work it out #anika ann

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sevenkittensinatrenchcoat · 3 years

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Misto’s Mating Dance Partners

Because the White Cat Lift AKA Mating Dance scene of the Jellicle Ball focuses mainly on Victoria and whoever she’s dancing with, what’s going on in the background is often ignored. But, there’s a clear pattern. The other cats pair off, go to the edges of the stage, forming a circle around Victoria and Her Man. They then do...whatever. There don’t seem to be official rules for what the pairs do, so some of them nap, some of the stare out into space, some of them cuddle...

And some of them blatantly fuck.

This scene is often called the Cat Orgy because of the blatant fucking that often occurs. So, you can watch the characters, see who pairs up with who and whether or not they fuck. Because Misto is my favorite character and one of the easiest to identify in even low-quality bootlegs, I went and watched him during this scene in every production in my bootleg collection.

Part One: Failure

In several of the older productions, I couldn’t see anything. Bootleggers and professionals alike tended to zoom in on Victoria and Her Man and stay there for most of the scene. Mexico 1991 mainly did this. Also, Vienna, with its Dark Voids and Weird Editing Choices was impossible to decipher.

Among the newer productions, Madrid was lost to Weird Editing Choices. Most of the dance wasn’t even visible! There were long close ups on Old Deuteronomy and Grizabella doing nothing when they should have been filming Victoria and Plato doing Something. It wasn’t even like they were distracted by an interesting background event. They just held the camera on characters who weren’t doing anything other than Reacting Slightly.

Part Two: Mistoria

Paris and Zurich paired Misto with Victoria for the Mating Dance. There was a slightly different dynamic with Misto and Victoria than there is when Plato or Tumblebrutus is Victoria’s Man. When Plato or Tumble, the most common choices for this part, approach Victoria, they’re awkward, but they still sort of take the lead. Victoria comes across as a bit shy at first, but she quickly gets into it. In the Mistoria versions, Misto is far more nervous approaching and often jumps back startled after touching Victoria. It feels like Victoria takes the lead in these versions, turning her back and basically being like “lift me”. Zurich Misto in particular is practically freaking out and the lift is kind of bizarre to watch because he looks so tiny!

Part Three: You’d Think Misto/Cassandra Would Be a Bigger Ship

Broadway-based productions, which paired Alonzo with Demeter, seemed to love pairing Misto with Cassandra for the Mating Dance. Troika and Buenos Aires did this and they did it in the same way. Misto and Cassandra practically have a dance of their own, performing the same motions when paired together. Usually, these pairs tend to seem like they’re improvising a little, but this specific couple has its own choreography.

The idea to pair Misto and Cassandra most likely comes from Misto later choosing Cassandra as his “lovely assistant” when he brings back Old Deuteronomy. In most productions, they don’t have much interaction outside of that. In Troika, Cassandra is also one of the cats who sometimes stands in for Coricopat and Tantomile, who were cut. Coricopat and Tantomile’s twin stuff was given to Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer, while a lot of their psychic moments were given to either Demeter or Cassandra. So, in Troika, Misto and Cassandra are both mystical cats of some sort, which brings them together, because it’s something other cats don’t get.

I’m not super into this ship, because I generally don’t ship Misto with women, but the implications of the pairing in the Troika version are interesting.

Part Four: Lonely Misto

Hamburg, The German Tent Tour, and probably Moscow didn’t pair Misto with anyone. He just sat by himself. In Hamburg, there was a reason for this. Just like how Buenos Aires and Troika gave Misto’s role of fetching Old Deuteronomy to Skimble, Hamburg has a Mistotable instead of a Skimbletable.

I probably should’ve listed Moscow as a failure, but I’m still not sure what happened there.

The German Tent Tour just has Misto sitting by himself. He crawls to the Cuddle Pile, does a handstand, and no one cares.

But, the German Tent Tour shows signs of being part of a trend. While earlier, Broadway-based shows liked pairing Misto and Cassandra, newer productions never seem sure who to pair him with, so you have this scene of a lonely Misto surrounded by happy, horny straight couples and looking a bit out of place. This was probably unintentional, but it gives Misto an extra layer of gay coding.

Part Five: More Recent Stuff That Doesn’t Fit in the Other Categories

The 2013 UK Tour does something a bit interesting. Misto just sort of naps during the Mating Dance, but Carbucketty, who’s been following him around and imitating his dance moves for the past few minutes, lies down to nap at his feet. They don’t really interact and they’re barely touching, but it still counts as a pair. This is the closest I’ve gotten to finding a version where Misto’s paired with a tom. Of course, compared to most of the straight couples in any version of this scene, there is no horniness to be found. So, they’re two bros napping next to each other, but not quite cuddling ‘cause they’re not gay :(

Also I think Carbucketty might’ve ditched Misto for Rumpleteazer at the last second. We can never have nice things.

The Broadway Revival, having different choreography and staging for most of the Jellicle Ball is interesting in the way the Broadway Revival is usually interesting (kind of frustrating tbh). In the new choreography, everything from Bomba’s solo through the Mating Dance is basically one scene. Some queens dance, even more queens join them, a bunch of toms show up and pair up with them, the Boys Ballet and Whirlygigs are replaced with a romantic dance, everyone takes a hit of moonlight and things start to resemble other productions a bit more from there.

Because the pairs pair up quickly and stay together for a long time, it’s easy to see all of them. Only most of the cast is paired up, but I can identify, Tugger/Bomba, Munk/Demeter, Alonzo/Cassandra, Skimble/Jenny, Plato/Victoria, Coricopat/Tantomile (why do the siblings always stay together for the horny scenes?), Mungojerrie/Rumpleteazer (they’re probably not siblings in this version, so they get a pass), Pouncival/Electra, and Carbucketty/Sillabub.

Jellylorum, Tumblebrutus, and Mistoffelees are absent. They’re offstage until the Mating Dance properly starts. I have no idea where Tumblebrutus went, but this isn’t about him. Tugger crawls past Misto and they almost interact before Tugger leaves with Bomba. Jellylorum pairs up with Misto, presumably because neither one could find an actually date.

Now, the actress who played Jellylorum in this production has said in interviews that she played Jellylorum as the same age as Tugger. (The actors are besties irl so they made their characters besties too). So, this isn’t quite as weird as if feels when you first read it. Everyone’s the same age in this show, except for the kittens. Electra, Sillabub, and Pouncival were played as literal children in every scene but this one, because no one can escape the cat orgy (except Tumblebrutus, for some reason). But, unlike in 1998, which featured a lot of crack pairings during this scene (Tugger/Jenny, anyone?), pretty much every pairing in the 2016 orgy is the most obvious pairing possible. Anyone who didn’t have an obvious opposite gender counterpart was given one, except for Misto, Jelly, and Tumble. They could’ve brought back Peter (renamed Asparagus) from the opening to be Jelly’s obvious pairing, and then just had Tumble nap on Misto’s feet like 2013 Carbucketty, but they didn’t.

The result is that they created a bunch of comphet pairings but simply couldn’t do so for Misto. All his usual comphet pairing were taken. Cassandra’s with Alonzo and Victoria’s with Plato. Knowing that Tyler Hanes and Ricky Ubeda both shipped Tuggoffelees, they probably didn’t want to do the comphet thing either. Up until this point, this production had actually downplayed Tugger/Bomba, compared to other versions and added Tugger/Misto moments. I think, if it’d been allowed, Tugger and Misto would’ve been paired up there. Bomba can be like 1998, not having her usual partner and just going with whoever’s not paired up, which would be Tumblebrutus this time. Peter could be there for Jelly. Everyone’s happy!

But seriously, Gay Misto Mating Dance Scene when? Somebody get on that. People already find the horniness in Cats to be weird and adding gay horniness won’t make much of a difference.

#cats paris 1990 #cats zurich #mr mistoffelees #cats victoria #mistoria #cats buenos aires #cats troika #cats cassandra #missandra?#cats hamburg #cats german tent tour #cats uk 2013 #carbucketty #mistbuckety #cats 2016 #jellylorum #rum tum tugger #tuggoffelees #2016 misto cannot be comphet paired

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mk-wizard · 3 years

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Sailor Moon 90s Anime is STILL the best

Hi. I know I am on a Sailor Moon binge here, but after seeing all of Crystal, Eternal and on R (season 2) of the first anime, I want to get this all off of my chest... and before I go further, since these are all animes, I will refer to them as 90s, Crystal and Eternal. And after watching them all, I have to say that the 90s takes the gold medal as the best Sailor Moon anime so far and this is why;

1- It had the best pacing. - While I admit that sometimes, it went too far with the filler, 98% of the time, it worked with the 90s. It took its time to make you get to know the characters for better or for worse, it made you see different sides of them, it gave them a chance to truly develop and be multi-dimensional, and it made you care about them. When a death happened, it felt tragic. When a victory happened, you cheered. And when you saw what side characters did, it mattered. I mean, who can ever forget the contribution 90s Naru Osaka had to the story? And everyone who has seen the 90s anime cannot forget her. More on the character development and getting to know characters later.

Sure, it wasn’t true to the manga and even the characters had different personalities, but I let that slide by because when Crystal and Eternal did follow the manga to the letter, we didn’t get a chance to digest anything. The only characters who develop are Usagi, Chibi-Usa and the outer guardians, and for the last bunch, it was the bare minimum. Crystal and Eternal were fun rides and I would be lying if I said I didn’t like them, but they were like roller coasters. They gave you a thrill, but fast and been done. The 90s was like a slow scenic ride that gave you surprises, emotionally touched you, made you cry, made you laugh, made you root for the heroes and even at the age of 37 years now, I keep rewatching this series.

2- The art of the 90s was better because it was sketchy, dark and edgier. - I know Sailor Moon doesn’t seem like this on the surface because the heroines are lovely girls in cute costumes, it emphasizes femininity and all things pretty, it has a romantic theme and is all about love, but Sailor Moon is also one of the darkest, grittiest, edgy and violent magical girl animes I have ever seen since Magic Knights Rayearth. Sailor Moon has on screen deaths which were permanent most of the time, on screen stabbings and the drawing of blood, and fights that got so hardcore, that real punches and kicks were thrown. The dark edges, black line art and sharp edges worked with the atmosphere of the story. I mean, look at the difference between the halls Dark Kingdom of the 90s (above) and that of Crystal.

And if that is not enough to win you over, the characters were much more animated, organic and conveyed more emotion whether they were exaggerated or serious.

In Crystal, the expressions and body language was very dulled down. Not to mention, very stiff.

Everything is also too bright and soft which makes the characters look like velvet dolls with too much make up especially with the line art. I will give them props for adding better details, cleaner lines, the glow of magical items, and details in the gems, but everything else is all wrong.

Eternal was better, but still not quite there. The colours are still way too bright and the characters still look too much like dolls from having line art that is too wispy. And I really do not like how the eyes have this unnatural glow to them. The edgy scenes become lost with all this brightness.

3- We got to see that there was so much more the characters than just heroes or villains. - Since Usagi is the titular character, let us just talk about her in the 90s since I could go on forever about how much we learned about the characters. In any version of Sailor Moon, Usagi’s role as a Sailor Guardian has always been the core of the story and she does indeed show progress as one. However, the 90s tells us that no matter what, she is still going to be herself too which is just as important and she shows character development as just plain old Usagi too. The manga, Crystal and Eternal which only paint Usagi as not doing anything right except be a Sailor Guardian, but the 90s show her hidden talents and learning new skills. For example, she was bad at cooking at the beginning of the series.

However, by Sailor Moon R, she gets the hang of it and is able to cook a meal by herself. Yes, she is messy, clumsy, never gets the hang of making cookies and is nowhere near Makoto’s level especially when it comes to presentation, but she is good at cooking food.

Another hidden talent of Usagi’s is her drawing skills. She isn’t just good at drawing. She’s got talent at it, so in the 90s, Usagi is quite the artist.

And it is admirable that 90s Usagi is open to trying new things even if she isn’t good at them. She practices, she explores and tries to enlighten herself. Sure, academics, coordination and organization will never be her fortes, but she really does have other and tries to discover more.

In Crystal and Eternal, she is good at being Sailor Moon, she is a good friend and a good girlfriend, but that is it. She is one dimensional here and she isn’t the only one to painted like that. Everyone is only the obvious and that is all the audience gets.

4- Better character redemption. - I mentioned before that Sailor Moon had grit and was dark, but the 90s also made it more complex and did character redemption right. It was open to the possibility of bad people becoming good. For instance, the Black Moon Clan Specter Sister are unforgettable for being successfully redeemed.

Yes, I admit that the monster of the day would get killed by the hands of the Sailor Guardians, but they also clearly showed that the monsters were not people or even alive. They were made of energy, clay or sand. When the monster of the day was a possessed innocent, they were saved through exorcism. Very rarely was an actual person ever killed and even when they were, it was either by the hands of another villain, their own hand, self defense or as a last resort. They never used killing as means of dealing with every single bad guy.

Furthermore, the bridge arc about the Makai Tree that also served as a prologue to Sailor Moon R could be seen as a story about mercy, kindness and love. It stands out as the one time the big bad was actually a misunderstood big good being the Makai Tree herself. And even Ail an An were never bad, but were raised bad. And even then, they changed. This story is unique only to the 90s so far, but it was great and stood out for that reason.

In Crystal, the heroines will kill a person without a second thought which I am shocked that no one brings up how repetitive and contradictory that is. The pretty warrior of love and justice should by all means protect the Earth, but doing so by killing off the bad guy all time is not love or justice. I also think the caption in this picture sums up how I feel about how the one and only time bad guys were given a chance to be redeemed...

Eternal was better because the Asteroid Guardians got redeemed and saved. However, even then, I feel like there is still a double standard. They were one of the good guys to begin with and Sailor Guardians. In the 90s, the Amazoness Quartet wasn’t, but were given a chance to change anyway. I find it cool that the Quartet turned out to be Sailors and even better that they will go on to become Chibi-Usa’s team, but mercy is not just for your allies or for your own benefit. Everyone should be given at least one chance to fix their mistakes.

5- We got to know Mamoru better. - I admit that no matter the incarnation, Tuxedo Mask will never be as powerful as Sailor Moon except when he is King Endymion, but the 90s take on his character made him better even if they did omit his super attack being Tuxedo le Smoking Bomber. What the well dressed masked man lacked in firepower, he made up for in intelligence, insight about the enemy’s weakness, courage and skill. The only times he ever did get overpowered was either by bad luck or because it was intentional because he was taking a hit for Sailor Moon. And even then, he always got back up. He’s a real man like that.

More importantly, we get to know him as Mamoru too. Even before he confides being an amnesiac to Usagi, we see his struggles with feeling alone in the world from having no memory of his life before a tragic accident which also killed his parents. Now, him being a stern cynical person makes sense because I probably wouldn’t be pleasant to be around either if I lived with that. Once his walls come down, we see that deep down, all he wants is to belong somewhere and have a family. It should also be noted that 90s Mamoru doesn’t love Usagi because he is “destined” to. He loves her because he wants to. Even during that brief period where he broke up with Usagi was an act of love. The thing I also always liked best about 90s Mamoru is that even though he loves Usagi more than life itself, his life doesn’t revolve around her which is a healthy thing and he tries to encourage Usagi to be the same way for her own good. He is studying to be a doctor, he has a job and he even has his own crowd which I think is great.

In Crystal and Eternal, while I do see an attempt at trying to follow this trend by showing that Usagi and Mamoru were on their way to falling in love even before they got their memories back, I still find he was one note and we never really learn much about him that has nothing to do with Tuxedo Mask, Endymion or anything royal related. Sure, we know that he’s studying to be a doctor and is a genius to an extent too, but that is it.

I would like to end this by admitting that the 90s was not perfect either, but out of all the takes on the tale of Sailor Moon as of date. Crystal and Eternal were ok, but they just cannot stand up to the quality of the 90s. The only thing I can say I find Crystal did better than the 90s were the costume designs. Specifically, how they let Venus keep her chain belt, Pluto’s key chain belt, Uranus and Neptune’s shorter gloves, Uranus’s sword, Uranus having two earrings, Mercury’s suit is shoulder less which I always found suited her better, and I liked Sailor Moon’s brooch and necklace better in season 1.

And even then, I should have liked it if Jupiter’s antenna was always on display as it is just something I always found cute in the manga, I liked Mars’ five point star earrings better in the 90s, and I like how in the 90s, each of the Inner Guardians’ sailor stripes were a little different.

Of course, this is all my opinion. I would like to hear which of the animes did Sailor Moon right in your opinion and why. Thanks for reading and stay safe, and have a great day.

#sailor moon anime #sailor moon reboot #sailor moon crystal #sailor moon eternal #pretty guardian sailor moon #pretty guardian sailor moon crystal #bishoujo senshi sailor moon #90s anime #sailor moon 90s #character development #storytelling #quality #critique

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vanquishedvaliant · 4 years

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So there’s this trend I’m seeing on social media about people boycotting / encouraging people not to buy the upcoming Mass Effect remasters.

The reasonings being somewhat varied, some valid, others not, but mostly centering around one thing in specific; cut content relating to same sex relationships that didn’t make it into the games.

Now, I understand not being interested in the product being offered; I’m probably not going to buy it myself for a lack of specific features like multiplayer and... just not needing the buy the game for my fifth or sixth time. It’s completely valid to think the remasters are just not doing enough for you to justify a purchase, or that their faith in the company doing it properly in their current state isn’t there. I get that.

But the mood that’s come up lately isn’t just disinterest; it’s downright outrage. Violent, ideologically charged opposition to even the concept of the remasters because of a perceived failure to meet their extremely specific and often high standards and notions of progressiveness.

Now it’s not exactly news that Bioware has had a rocky relationship with inclusivity over the years, with queer characters flitting in and out of recognition and prominence, appropriation of queer archetypes, and less than stellar execution of what characters they do include. I’ve had my complaints with these myself from time to time, though it’s still always struck me historically as a generally positive, if clumsy attempt at progress that I appreciated despite the flaws; remember that the original Mass Effect 1 came out in 2007, and was the focus of a major media scandal about even including romantic relationships at all in the game, nevermind same sex ones. That’s 14 years ago! The most recent game in the series is 9 years old!

We can talk about the social standards of the times and the progress we’ve made, and we can also talk about the merits of restoring and improving media as it was, or recreating it to more closely reflect the values of today and which or both of them is a worthwhile pursuit, but I don’t think that’s what’s being sincerely argued here.

What we see instead is some protestation that failure to make the exacting changes that they see fit according to their personal ideology is some kind of radically regressive statement, as if it’s a conscious, malicious decision and not either one made in good faith or not at all. This movement has collectively decided that the remaster needs to contain exactly the changes that fit their fleeting whims or the entire thing’s at best a wash and a wasted effort, and in some cases a ‘homophobic’ statement of hatred, or cynically callous laziness.

Let’s remember; the focus of this argument is the presence of available simulated dating options in a 14 year old game. The arguments posits that some of these alternative options are ones that were cut from the release of the games, notably the first one, and have some or numerous assets that exist in various forms within the game files that with some work can be accessed in the game with user-made modifications. Some of this is true; though much of it is exaggerated or misconstrued in terms of its scope or viability.

Many of these people just assume that this cut content that someone else has restored in a mod somewhere is just some sort of simple toggle done in moments without effort, ignoring the work those modders did on their own time and money to introduce those features.

Even if we just hand wave any standards of quality or continuity or polish and integration these mods have, you have to consider the dozens to hundreds of volunteer man hours of labor these fans put into many of those mods to make them viable that a company paying it’s employees a fair wage and time to do without overworking has to budget. Which I should mind to you is something also incredibly topically relevant in game dev these days. Adding new content costs money. Restoring old content, still costs money.

Even then, the viability of many of those original assets is at question in itself; the 'ingredients’ used to create the content are not equivalent to the ‘cooked’ content found in the game files, so some of them are difficult to work with or lacking in features or quality. Hell, we know for a fact that half of the god damn development data for ME1 is just fucking gone, which is why the DLC isn’t making an appearance in the remaster at all; it just doesn’t exist anymore and would need to be remade from utter scratch.

Now there’s a dozen reasons undertakings like these would or wouldn’t make their list of priorities for remaster given the other work they are doing re; texture and model uprezzing, gameplay updates, etc. It’s not exactly strange for them to recreate the game largely as it was with a more limited scope of changes. Perhaps the decision was made to preserve some parts of the game largely as it was; with mostly minor cosmetic changes to things like Miranda’s camera angles; things that don’t have much overhead or ripple effect. Perhaps restoring the content was considered, but didn’t make the cut- maybe for the same reasons it didn’t make it into the game in 2007. Maybe for different ones.

Only the people involved know.

Now, would I like to see some of that content restored and improved? Sure! I think it’d have been a great thing if they’d promoted the series as having new or restored content; if they’d promised us such things. But they haven’t, and while it’s one thing to praise taking an initiative like that if they had, I think it’s completely unreasonable to be outraged that they didn’t.

We can celebrate that kind of outstanding and excellent steps forward in inclusivity, but we have to understand that while someone not being ahead of the curve may not be exciting or even disappointing; it is not in itself an act of directed aggression. And treating it like one is a waste of time and energy that we can direct to protesting actual aggression, or celebrating those outstanding steps.

But here’s the major thing that kills me; all those mods they love and praise aren’t going anywhere.

The remaster will come out and unless Bioware is so completely tone deaf and media blind from the past year they pull a WC3, the old versions of the game will all still be available. All those user made mods they cite in these arguments about “how easy” it is to add content to the game will still be there, ready to play as they always were. Some of them might even work or be easily made to work with the new versions!

All of that will still be there! And we’ll have access to a new version of the trilogy that is far more accessible to new players who haven’t yet been exposed to so much of the games content that they are desperate for more of it.

Just look at Mass Effect 1; that game has not aged well, and it was kind of a sloppy mess even when it came out! How many new players can we get to enjoy all the good things the series has to offer with an easily accessed, more enjoyable package to play through the entire series without issue? I’ve done numerous replays of the trilogy through the years, and Mass Effect 1 is always a huge stumbling block. It’s just a pain in the ass, straight out. Don’t you want at least the option to fix that?

And if not, you don’t have to buy it and no harm is done to you! Enjoy your existing version with your mods and familiar features and flaws.

And if you truly, genuinely care so passionately about Bioware improving their record of inclusivity; look instead to the new game that’s coming out and look forward to that instead. Every game in the franchise has been better than the last at this; ME1 cut the same sex relationships, but ME2 had some. ME3 had even more, and then Andromeda had yet even further than that after patching!

How many will the new game have?

Look forward to that and make it clear to bioware you’re looking for that in their games; just.... ease off this ridiculous vitriol in trying to get people to avoid the remaster because it’s not good enough for you. No one needs to have this bullying done to either the developers themselves or the players looking to buy the game for themselves or others. It’s simply not productive.

Especially with this franchise’s sordid history with excessive media outrage and entitlement that’s been absolutely exhausted.

Just... relax. And have some perspective.

#mass effect #me #mass effect legendary edition #mass effect legendary #long post

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tresmontesentertainment · 2 years

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You know what one of my favorite examples of "blatantly a coincidence but it's just too weird to ignore" is? The fact that both Pokemon and Bionicle have a history of associating both the color gold and female characters with psychic powers.

With Pokemon, this was chiefly an aesthetic trend back in Gen 01. You see it in the Abra line, Drowzee and Hypno, and the fact that we have Psyduck and Golduck despite neither ever actually getting typed Psychic even seven generations on, remaining one of the great curiosities of the franchise. Then there's Sabrina, Pokemon's most iconic psychic human character, who awarded you the Gold Badge in the Japanese version of the games. None of this was ever really A Thing beyond the first games, but it's still funny that it happened to begin with.

So proclaims Bulbapedia, it's possible that this was all a reference to parapsychology, which actually did see a surge of interest back in the 70's and 80's, not too long before Pokemon first hit the scene. Specifically, the color choice at play here might be referencing the ability to see people's auras, with people of a particular spiritual awareness often being described as having a golden aura. My own digging into the matter didn't really affirm this one way or another, but for my purposes it's still pretty neat!

With Bionicle, it gets a touch more involved, and necessitates I put on my storyteller cap a moment.

The time before time was still just dawning, and the first Toa, the defenders of this fledgling universe and it's people, were coming into being. Among them was the one named Orde, one of the first male Toa and the very first Toa of Psionics. Orde had been granted a vital task; he was to pacify the Zyglak, a primordial race of reptilian creatures whose existence was little more than an accident incurred by the Great Beings as they went about their work. Shunned by their creators and reviled by nearly all who learned of them, the Zyglak took refuge in the darkest places they could find, anger and resentment churning in their hearts until it eventually festered into a brutal savagery, leading them to lash out and torment the world that scorned them.

Though the details have been lost to time, it is known for certain that Orde failed his mission, succumbing to his own anger and losing control of his powers, in turn amplifying the Zyglak's aggression and rendering them an even greater threat than before. The consequences of Orde's folly would echo on even millennia later, as the Zyglak would go on to utterly decimate the Toa Cordak, the original Toa team, leaving only their leader alive, haunted by his indecision in a vital moment that would have made all the difference. The Great Being's, in all their wisdom, concluded that a female Toa would have possessed the gentler nature necessary to truly control such tremendous power. And so it was that all Toa of Psionics, along with the Matoran whose destinies would see them reforged into those Toa, would only ever be female from then on.

So that's a lot to unpack, eh? The thing to understand about Bionicle's power system is that there's always been this facet of gender exclusivity when it comes to which element a Toa could be associated with, and there's really no denying that the ratio was skewed pretty damn heavily towards the fellas. That is to say that of the 14 total elemental bags of tricks a Toa could come equipped with by the time the original incarnation of Bionicle came to a close, only 3 were the domain of female Toa; these being Water, Lightning, and, because old man Orde couldn't keep his shit together way back when, Psionics.

It is an actual, literal matter of lore for why Psionics was the only element to break away from that apparent rule of "one gender only," and keep in the mind that Orde was still alive by the time the story ended. By all accounts, nobody dies of old age in the Bionicle Universe, which means that he would have had to endure several hundred millennia of living with his failure and the stigma that surely came with it, and probably endured it mostly on his own since the story of his mission with the Zyglak doesn't seem to be common knowledge in the modern day. He was also all but certain to have been aware of what happened to the Toa Cordak, whatever weight it might have left on his shoulders given just how long that was after his ill-fated mission.

Not to imply that fate was especially any kinder to his successors, mind you, if the story of Toa Varian was any indication. I love it when a story explores the scope and consequences of power, but damn is it a shame when bad things happen to good people... Some things are just plain multiversal, I guess! And just to tie it all back around, blue was the central color for both Lightning and Psionics, just as it was for Water. The "team colors" for Psionics? Blue and Gold.

There is one thing else I feel compelled to mention, and honestly it's probably a touch weirder then the things I just went over. Inter-dimensional travel is just as much a thing in both Pokemon and Bionicle as psychic powers are, embodied in this case by Hoopa, a kleptomaniacal little gremlin able to nick entire buildings whose shiny variant is entirely golden, and the Konohi Olmac, a golden mask of power that allows the user to both jump around the dimension one is currently in and to entirely different dimensions altogether.

Uncanny, right?

#pokemon #bionicle #psionics #Alister Azimuth is Orde's spirit animal I swear #Honestly Earth and Ice should have at least been female #The Mother Earth and Ice Queen angle are built right in!

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whythehellnaut · 3 years

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The secret brilliance behind Nickelodeon All Star Brawl‘s marketing

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about the Nickelodeon fighting game after it was announced, progressing from mild interest to ironic excitement to unironic excitement for it. So many jokes and memes have been made about it that they’re almost impossible to avoid. But when I thought about it, I realized that that’s exactly what the marketing team for this game wanted. The idea of the game is so absurd that no one would expect it to exist, but they figured out a way to make absolutely sure that it would create just the right buzz to get people like me to take serious interest in it.

Watching the trailer again, I figured out that every character they picked to showcase in that minute and a half trailer were carefully and strategically chosen to cater to as many people as they could. Even the order of their appearance had deliberation behind it. Here are my thoughts:

Michelangelo comes first, establishing that the game is combat focused. After all, who better to show off first for a fighting game than a character that has already appeared as a playable character in at least two of them? Plus, the Ninja Turtles are the oldest characters in Nickelodeon’s library when you consider that they first aired in the 80′s, before Nickelodeon even started making cartoons. This is a character that everyone recognizes, parents included.

Lincoln Loud comes next, a more modern character that adults might not know but kids will. This is to quickly lure the kids, who have less patience than adults, into watching the rest of the trailer, assuring them that it won’t just be older characters like the turtles that show up.

Powdered Toast Man comes next to snatch up the other side of the equation, the adults/90′s kids who remember him from the original Ren and Stimpy show from 1991. I’m not sure if it’s still airing as reruns on Nick today, but considering I hear very little about the show online, I’m guessing not. This is a bit of a surprise to the adults who thought it’d be a kids’ game, so it lures those folks into staying for the rest of the trailer as well.

Sandy is important to show off early for a number of reasons. Spongebob is popular among kids and Millenials, and is arguably the only property here as well known as Ninja Turtles, so they’re luring in more fans. It also serves to imply that other Spongebob characters will join, as, even though Sandy’s passion for karate makes total sense for her to appear in a fighting game, you still can’t leave out Spongebob himself. Showing her first implies more possibilities of characters to come, proving it won’t just be a festival of protagonists like Jump Force was. It also shows off their female representation to keep women interested.

Patrick is just a fan favorite to get out of the way before the sponge shows up, so he’s only here to confirm that the game is going to be full of characters that people actually want to see.

Oblina was personally a shocker to me, as I barely remember Ahh Real Monsters from my own childhood, but I remember enough to know that she wasn’t the protagonist, necessarily. I also know it’s relatively obscure in comparison to Spongebob or Ren and Stimpy, so they proved that they are willing to take characters from more obscure shows that the young kids won’t remember. This solidified my interest as I could tell that they are doing more to cater to the 90s generation than just confirming Powdered Toast Man.

Nigel Thornberry is arguably their most important addition at the halfway point. Outside of Spongebob characters and maybe Stu Pickles, I would say Nigel is the internet’s favorite Nickelodeon character to use for memes. The marketing team had to have known this. After getting some of the core audiences hooked, they now have the memer crowd invested, ready to spread the word about the insanity of this game’s premise across the internet. This is exactly what happened, and why the trailer has 2 million views on Youtube right now.

Lucy Loud is shown off quickly to remind the younger crowd to keep watching, and to add a little bit more female representation.

Spongebob is shown off a little bit late, but since we were expecting him to show up, it’s just to make sure the casual fans who only know the big names stay watching.

Helga is an older character, but I recently saw a young kid wearing a Hey Arnold tee shirt at the supermarket, so I’m positive it’s being shown as reruns on Nick today, so most Nick fans of all ages will be excited about her. Moreover, since she came immediately after Spongebob, who is a protagonist that was introduced after Sandy, a side character from his show, it gives an implication that Arnold will also appear. Although he is not introduced in this trailer, it allows the fans to speculate that he will soon be showcased, perhaps in the next trailer. Also, she’s the fourth female character shown, confirming that the game is being fair and inclusive to both sexes and not simply catering to male gamers, like say, Jump Force or Dragonball Fighter Z.

Reptar is another shocker, because although Rugrats is very popular and well known throughout the generations, he is a very, very minor character in the show. He is literally a fictional character within a separate fictional universe. The marketing team threw him in to show off that just about any character from any Nick property, no matter how minor or obscure, has a chance of making it into this game. Again, this forces the fans to speculate about future announcements with even more creative thinking, as we now know that it won’t just be major characters joining the fray.

Zim is a well thought out choice because he caters to a specific crowd that I’d describe as the alternative niche. That is to say, there are people who are fans of Invader Zim who don’t watch other Nick shows, so they are luring in the folks you’d expect to see at Hot Topic and the like. It was an edgy show with a feel and fanbase unlike other shows of its era, so it’s important to use him to diversify the roster. They also showed off Gir as his assist, and although that may deconfirm him as playable, it still pleases the fans, who often prefer Gir over Zim.

Danny Phantom is the only character that comes strictly from the 2000s era, so they are making sure to maintain the attention of the teenagers who watched that show as kids.

Leonardo seems like an odd choice to end on, maybe even anticlimactic, since they started with Michelangelo, but it makes sense when you think about it. They couldn’t show just 1 turtle, or else it might imply that the game’s roster was small. But if they showed all 4 turtles, they would have needed to leave two other characters out of the trailer to make room for them, and they didn’t want to make it look like a Turtles fighting game with guest characters. So having exactly 2 turtles allows them to show off enough characters from other properties, while also confirming unofficially that the other turtles would appear later, since you can’t just have 2 of the 4 turtles in the game. By leaving it open like that, they’re giving an implication that the roster is going to be huge. So big that the turtles were just a small portion of it. They end the trailer this way to leave the crowd speculating again: how many characters will appear in total?

The only characters that curiously don’t show up in the trailer are the cast of the Avatar franchise, who are quite popular. However, one of the stages shown is clearly the Air Temple with Aang’s glider in plain sight, implying that Avatar characters will be announced later. Another smart move to instill hope in the fans.

Finally, the Rollback Netcode announcement that came afterward solidified a very important group- the serious/competitive gamers. For those who don’t know, rollback netcode is relatively new technology that speeds up online gameplay to cut down on input lag, which is super important for fighting games in particular, as they rely on strict timing more than other game genres. It’s so new, however, that not all competitive fighting games use it. Popular tournament fighters like Super Smash Bros, Tekken, and Dragonball Fighter Z have not implemented rollback netcode for their games yet, so of all games, Nickelodeon All Star Brawl beating them to the punch is causing a stir. This is a sign that the devs are putting serious effort into making the game enjoyable online, which could potentially help its chances to be taken seriously in competitive settings. Only time will tell if that truly happens, but it’s a sign of quality, nonetheless.

So ultimately, this short trailer and announcement manage to cater to dang near every crowd that may want to play it: Kids, teenagers, young adults in their 20s and 30s, parents in their 40s, men, women, memers, casual fans, alternative fans, and serious gamers, and opens up a ton of potential for speculation regarding new announcements. That’s a fantastic way to start off and explains why this game, which for all intents and purposes should have been nothing more than a thought experiment that people joke about in the car with friends, has been trending so much for the past two weeks. Congrats to the marketing team for what they put together.

#Nickelodeon #nickelodeon all star brawl #fighting games #fgc

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justpurechaos · 3 years

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I’m gonna live blog watching a Tubbo vod from December because it’s one am and I don’t know enough about the leadup to the exile arc

(the vod:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CpsDEjrtl7M)

- Oh wow It’s Ranboo, he’s just chilling, weird

- I love this era of Tubbos hair lol, it’s what I’m growing my hair to look like

- I forgot how centered around george some of this was

- Did George even do anything as king? Did eret?

- Oh my god it’s ghostbur I’m fucking crying

- They’re so much more casual with fourth wall breaking and joking mid lore

- Wow so many people are online I miss L’manberg

- Dream really sucks damn

- Fundy just shot the minutes man, he had 55 levels

- Tubbo is calling him Rambo.

- If I here Rambo one more time I will simply cease to exist

- There is a lot of pressure put on Tubbo here damn

- Tommy is popping off

- Tubbo’s ideologies here feel like the inverse of Ranboo’s current ideology

- Tubbo is also right tho Tommy is just trying to repeat history by recruiting Techno

- Besties this has happened before, don’t you remember the withers??? Using and betraying techno has not ended well historically

- I was gonna write a whole paragraph about the clingy duo and how much I love them but than quackity said Rambo again so I can’t

- Wtf is Ranboo doing

- Nooooooooo Tubbo oh my god

- Holy shit I never knew It went like this

- I have such mixed feelings about this

- It hurts a lot

- But Tubbo has a point here

- I love Tubbo so fucking much, but also I would like him to stop because this hurts a lot

- Oh dear god they’re comparing him to schlatt

- Tubbo is such a good actor jesus christ

- Tubbo and Quackity have a really interesting dynamic

- Couldn’t you all have discussed this BEFORE YOU TALKED TO DREAm

- I really wish he hadn’t exciled Tommy, I know teaming with Techno wwas a bad idea but this is also terrible

- Even if they don’t know how bad exile will be for Tommy

- This is honestly still worse for L’manberg

- Dream fucking sucks

- Ooh it’s the start of the butcher army

- I see what their goal was but it did not go well

- Like to be fair if they had successfully killed techno and dream l’manberg would still be standing

- It’s fucked up but it’s true

- I’ve decided I am both a technoblade apologist and a butcher army apologist /hj

- I’m not really joking though

- If they’d covered Karl Jacobs in propaganda better l’manberg wouldn’t be a crater

- Yes Tubbo this is probably communism

- We stan the minutes man

- Tubbo has referred to Ranboo as “The minutes man” significantly more times than his actual name

- “I assume he’s going to a new land, starting anew” Oh shit that didn’t age well now did it

- “He’s out there, he’s fine” Fuck you Dream

- How tf did dream get so much obsidian

- Didn’t l’manberg fight to be officially recognized already? Wasn’t that the whole point of the war?

- Oh weird I forgot dream and fundy were legitimately engaged

- When exactly did Quackity start hating Dream so much? Obviously there’s reason to but was there a specific thing that happened?

- “The minutes man is crazy”

- “Oh my god we’re trending” God when are you all not trending

Okay it’s like two am I’m gonna wrap it up here

My final thoughts:

Tubbo definitely fucked up here but I do really sympathize with him and it makes a lot of sense what he did

This actually relived any worries I had about the beeduo right now cuz clearly tommy and tubbo have been through way way worse and they’re still close

Tubbo clearly tends to put aside his relationships with people when making big decisions (or at least he did at the time). Like I sad earlier this feels like the inverse of Ranboos ideology of choosing people over sides. Tubbo valued his responsibility as president above the wellbeing of his best friend. I think he really failed to consider that letting dream control them is probably worse than a war would’ve been. Honestly I feel like what happened was the worst possible scenario. And yet I still like almost everyone involved.

#mcyt #dsmp #dream smp #tubbo #tommyinnit #fundy #quackity #ghostbur #dream #dreamwastaken #technoblade #ranboo #butcher army #clingy duo #bee duo #it's painfully obvious I mostly watch the beeduo #long post

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kouhaiofcolor · 3 years

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Whew shit it aggravates the hell outta me how much recognition non black ppl felt they were entitled to for pRoTeStInG police brutality that specifically targets black ppl — by only acting on performative upset around George Floyd's murder. Yet Makiyah Bryant was literally murdered by a white police officer as they were reading Chauvin's verdict for killing Floyd & yall haven't said too much at all. The same performative & self-proclaimed activists haven't said a word ab this fr.

The same ppl who were (& still are) walking around w/ a chip on their shoulder ab buying fucking totes, t-shirts, wristbands & face masks that say "Africa" or "Black Lives Matter" or "Say Their Names" — haven't said or so much as put any comparable energy into demanding justice for Makiyay Bryant, Breonna Taylor, or any Black Woman or underage Black Girl killed by white people for that matter. Its like yall felt like, "well all thats finally over; guess police brutality & police officers murdering black ppl isn't a thing anymore or something we should keep protesting after things cool down; we've done 'our part'. 🙄Yall make me fucking sick the way yall showed up & out in international droves for Floyd; the way yall created & pushed hashtags for that grown ass man who OPENLY shit on Black Women (the largest & most signigicant demographic who was out there demanding answers & justice for his murder itfp).

An autistic, black child was killed by the same kind of people who murdered Floyd; working in the same "profession". She was killed by a fucking police officer in the midst of being harassed by kids her age who were bullying her to a point where her hand was forced & she sought out the police to intervene. & they killed her like she didn't mean a damn thing. Yall are silent ab it like she didn't mean a damn thing. Yall literally just went back to your regular lives, obsessing over absolute billshit & living on the internet like it didn't matter at all. Like, "Well we did all that for Floyd. Dont have the energy to do it for anyone else Black; particularly Black Women/Girls."

Where is yall energy for this?? Idk if yall realize but the way this shit reflects, it looks like Americans (& ppl from other countries that participated in the protesting for Floyd) only give a fuck ab black lives if cishet black males are the focus — & that's so fucking disrespectful. Yall are seriously ok w that child being taken from her family? Her mother? Her siblings if she had any??? What ab her dreams? What ab what she wanted to do w her life in spite of all the shit she was going thru being fucked w for being autistic? Do yall give any sort of fucks? Do yall give a damn at all? Just be real ab it. Bc this didn't just happen to Makiyah. This isn't something that's happend to just one black girl before.

This is happening more often than most care to consider fr. In fact, the perpetual concern ppl are brainwashed to have for white women being potentially unrealistically sex-trafficked, sexually abused/assaulted, kidnapped/abducted — happens way more prevalently to black women & little Black girls all over the globe. White women have international protection since they are pushed as a forced international standard & ideal anyway. Black women are not at all a protected demographic. Anywhere in the world. And black men are # fucking 1 in our assailant normalcy — yet everyone gives them all the exclusive consideration when it comes to crimes against the Black Community by non blacks & blacks alike. Fucking tired of yall fr, on everything. Yall let that child die in vain & still ain't got off yall asses to do or say anything ab it the way yall were committed to doing it for Floyd. You should be ashamed. You should be embarrassed.

Idc what you think you did out there for Floyd if you didn't do the same for Makiyah. Or Breonna. Or any Black women among the thousands of names mentioned among the "Say Their Names" outcry. Yall didn't do a damn thing but keep a hashtag trending through the summer last year. Yall give no real fucks & im glad I wasn't giving yall too much credit for doing the bare minimum, cus looking at how "concerned" yall are now, it truly was a minimum. Fuck yall. George Floyd was a grown ass man. Did all that active disapproval of someone killing his ass & then turn yall back on black women asap.

That he spent any part of his life as a black male being & acting on misogynoir — just to cry out for his Black Mother at the peak of his suffering & death, is ironic; almost funny considering how he likely wouldn't have protested for the unreasonable murder of black women himself. Yall desperately need to get your fucking priorities together, cus a lot of yall too damn grown to be this stupid & have attention spans this short. Yall just be expecting black women's support on any & everything — even if it don't make sense or if it puts us in harm's way. Then do absolutely nothing for us when circumstances absolutely more than demand it. Im done supporting these lame ass causes for ppl who don't do shit for Black women even when we do it for yall. Most of the time the majority of you don't even open your mouth ab black women lest its to degrade or defeminize them so yea its p clear to me where the majority of you truly stand unfiltered on issues around our safety & wellbeing.

I'm good. There is no poc solidarity; there is no progression or inclusion in speaking up for races who are not black as a black person — esp not as a black woman. Im quite done w the vast majority of ppl & giving a fuck ab things i cannot — but that other races of ppl v well can — control (regarding our mistreatment). I will not be speaking on this blog ab anything that does not pertain specifically & exclusively to issues within or injustices committed against the Black community. I do not have the energy or interest; just like yall don't ab us. Fuck yall, fuck your problems (cultural & personal), & fuck you being mad ab it if at all. Do not care. Black Women & Little Black Girls do not deserve the blatant disregard & neglect yall habitually subject us to for absolutely nothing. You will not get empathy from this black woman on this shit, period.

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dangerliesbeforeyou · 3 years

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RANT ON BEAUTY

ok so i just watched Karolina Zebrowska’s video talking about beauty standards & not only did she say everything i’ve been thinking for literally years, but it just got me thinking more about how shitty the whole beauty standards and industry thing is...

not gonna go over too much of what she said, since she said it a lot better than i could, but the fact is is that beauty standards are a) not real & 2) fickle as fuck lol... like, compare what was seen as ‘beautiful’ in 2011 to now and honestly it has changed so drastically in such a short amount of time... & then when you look at the entirety of history, and you realise ‘oh, actually beauty standards are usually predominantly tied to wealth and class (and race), and it’s not really what someone looks like that is seen as attractive but instead the lifestyle that their appearance perpetuates oh i get it...’

like, the other day i was trying to explain to my mum that a piece of clothing being ‘flattering’ on someone isn’t real, and rather based on various factors including whatever beauty standard is in at that time, the fashion or makeup trends of the era, differing cultures, etc... (it went about as well as you can expect, her being like ‘uh what?’ and me giving up and letting her complain that a dress didn’t suit one of the models on the shopping channel pfft)

BUT my point is that literally everything regarding our appearances and what is deemed as ‘beautiful’ is ALL just... not real lol... like, ofc it doesn’t mean that you finding Dev Patel the most beautiful man in the world a wrong statement, but instead that what as a society is claimed to be desirable for everyone to aim towards is something that we all have to question...

and like Karolina, I’m not about to begrudge people getting lip fillers or botox or nose jobs if they want, because at the end of the day regardless of whether beauty standards are ‘real’ or not in a philosophical way is irrelevant, because they ARE still real in a way that does genuinely affect people... but i do think that people should consider WHY they are so fixated on being beautiful in the first place (or, more specifically, being a version of ‘beautiful’ that exists in that very specific time and place lol...)

and PARTICULARLY for women, and young women, who get the brunt of society’s obsession with beauty thrust upon them... and also particularly trans women, who not only have to live up to cis expectations of beauty standards, but doubly so...

(and this isn’t even to mention the insidiousness of the makeup industry and how ageism plays a MASSIVE role in what is seen as beautiful, and how so many people (esp women) in the public eye aren’t allowed to age... but like that’s a discussion for another day lol)

i think another problem with the beauty industry is the fact that so much value is put onto being so-called 'beautiful'... because someone who doesn't fit within the realms of that decade's beauty standards is not only seen as ugly, but also worthless, undesirable, unloved...

i always remember when Susan Boyle sang on the x-factor or whatever talent show it was, and everyone in the audience laughed at her, because she just looked like an average, ordinary, middle-aged woman, and the prospect of someone like that being to sing beautifully was laughable to people!

And i’m also reminded of a brilliant rant by David Mitchell on would i lie to you several years ago where he mentioned how people going on about how ugly Ann Widdecombe (tory mp btw) is completely defeats the point, because she’s an awful woman because of her policies and opinions, not because of her appearance (which is also why i kinda hated all those ‘orange cheeto’ jokes about trump over the years, because the point is is that trump is a disgraceful disgusting human being, and he could look like *insert attractive man here* but would STILL be an awful, awful person, but so many comedians over the last 4 years purely ridiculed him for his appearance...)...

and this kind of humour, picking on the appearances of awful people rather than focusing on their awful actions, deflates the awfulness of their actions... because if they were attractive and awful, then the focus would be on that awfulness (i’ve used awful so many times in this paragraph someone please get me a thesaurus lol) but because they are UGLY and awful, then they have essentially committed 2 sins... and in a way the ugliness trumps (ha) the awful behaviour, purely because it’s something that can be mocked and joked about...

The dangerous point about the beauty industry isn't just how it manipulates young people, young women in particular, to hate their bodies. But also how it instils this idea that being 'beautiful' (and specifically externally beautiful) is the only way you can be successful, which is just, fundamentally, completely wrong lol...

beauty standards are something that’s so ingrained into our society that i don’t expect them to disappear over night, or at all... but i hope that we as a society get to a day where people don’t have their value dictated by whether they are ‘beautiful’ or not...

#personal #rant #beauty standards #beauty industry #etcetc #ramblings #been a while since i did a proper rant post lol it feels gooood #there's a lot more i could say about this btw but ... i'm already at like 800+ words and i need to go to bed lol

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aria-chicken-flugget · 4 years

Text

MC reacts to The Brothers (+Undateables)

In a crop top ~ Yum

Due to the *NSFW undertones, I will NOT be writing any for Luke, obviously.

Sorry this took me ages haha i ran out of creativity for these. On that note, let’s jump straight in 😉

The Undateables

Simeon 😇

Similarly to Beel, will not see your request as anything unsavoury you cheeky thing, you

“What is a ... ‘cropped top’?”

Basically wears them anyway

Is used to showing a little skin, so would think nothing of it

After all, God intended Human Beings to be naked, so this is not weird

The only thing odd about it, is that you specifically requested it

He still wouldnt see it in that way tho lol

The one he’d wear wouldn’t surprise you, because it’s not too dissimilar to what he normally wears around RAD

Black, sleek and skin tight - sleeveless to reveal his perfectly sculpted shoulders and with a high neck - cerulean blue accents to match his eyes

Your jaw fell slack at how attractive it looked on him

His piercing blue eyes crinkled as he smiled, “I guess this one suits me, then?”

Oop - ah well, who cares if he knows your staring?

He’s an angel ffs - of course he looks amazing

“You...” you couldn’t seem to find the words to encompass what the mere sight of him did to you

His face would fall a moment, “is something wrong, MC?”

You’d flush, shaking your head with a nervous laugh, “No... well, God probably wouldn’t forgive me for thinking it but -“

You can’t bring yourself to finish that sentence

Fairly certain he was aware of where your thoughts were headed, his cheeks would tinge rouge

He’d play Innocent TM as not to blur the line or complicate things...

You’d make it ducking difficult though

Yes i said ducking, Simeon is an Angel he legally cannot say fuck

It’s just... the way you were ogling him, undressing him with your beautiful and captivating eyes... fjdlficjsn

His chest would tighten, breath caught and heart in his throat

He was well aware what that feeling was, his brows downturned at the thought

“Is something wrong, Simeon?”

He’d hold a hand up, gently but firm, “No, i’m alright, thank you.”

You can’t help but feel a little guilty... after all you did just have certain thoughts about an Angel

Seeing your crestfallen face, he’d immediately snap to - gently reaching for your hand with that crinkly eyes smile,

“Don’t look so glum, MC. Everything’s alright.”

He was simply radiant, you couldnt help but return that smile

Depending on what floats your boat, i’ll let you imagine what the outcome was

Solomon 🧙‍♂️

Hahah oh boy...

“Oh? And why would you want me to wear that?” ;) TEASE

Would give That Smirk TM

This could literally go one of two ways:

One, he wears a cute cropped T and says “Well, what were you expecting from me?” ;) TEEAASSEE

He knows God damn well what you were expecting lmao

Quite literally wears some leather skin tight crop that shows off all his tatts, all his packs and muscles... like dayum haha

Either way you’re speechless

He is one cocky lil shit, he’d love it

“Finally i’ve drawn your attention from those brothers, have i?” “Wh-what?!” “;)”

Nosebleed

“I’d like to request you wear one too, it’s only fair after all.”

Whilst having you gently ensnared against a wall between his palms, with those eyes entrancing you to keep you there

You’d never seen him in that light so deeply than after your request

Your eyes trail his form once again, surprisingly more muscular than you’d anticipated from under the RAD uniform

You’d flush from under his gaze, not quite sure where to look, what to say -

“Cat got your tongue?” Ajsksknxdn

He’d need want to hear you say it.

“I - i didn’t realise you’d tease me about it.” You look away with rosy cheeks

His teasing smile would falter a moment, asking more seriously, “why would you ask me to wear a crop top?”

You’d find his gaze, tongue tied for an answer

You’d swallow from under his penetrating gaze that seemed more serious than before

“I...” why did you ask him again?

“I just... wanted to see it.” “‘It’? That’s not very specific.” Ahsksknsk LOL such a tease

You’d hate that he made you admit it, you forced through gritted teeth, “I wanted to see what you looked like in a crop, what more do you want me to say?”

His smirk tugging on his handsome lips again before warm breath carasses the shell of your ear, “I want to see what you look like too.”

Lmao #Exposed

Nosebleed 2.0

Barbatos 🕰

Yo, you would have some mad guts to request it when he’s working hahah

He would instantly flush and comment calmly how inappropriate your request is

Diavolo would laugh if he heard your request and his reponse from beside you both

But if you were alone with him, perhaps a little closer to him...

I stand by the fact i think ‘Barbietos’ is a Dark Horse TM

This man has a dark side lowkey yandere vibes maybe? Idk yet need to see more of him tbh

if you’re close and you ask, similarly to Solomon he’d smirk and tease

Barbatos is sarcastic but he wouldn’t snark you for this, especially with your blushing features

He’d utter your name, before finally mustering the strength to ask, “what kind of cropped top do you want me to wear?”

You’d have to be immensely private about it, ofc he can have a private life but he is literally at the service of the Prince of that realm

Not just the crop top request etc, the entire relationship would be kept under radar for a long time

I can see his crop being loose, the satin like material draped tastefully from his shoulders and revealing his midriff

The emerald green colour so dark you thought it was black until you saw it’s sheen under the light

You might have already seen his body at this point but you can’t help absorbing his features like a sponge

His abdominal muscles, his strong shoulders... he was also much stronger than he looked under a uniform

He’d stand before you, as you rise to your knees upon his sheets, eye level with his chest

“Tonight, I could serve you for a change.”

He’s probably not as quiet as we think

Diavolo 👑

If Lucifer ever heard about your request, you’ll be out of the Devildom faster than you can say Demonus

You’d have to be incredibly brave and or stupid to even ask in the first place...

However, Diavolo wouldn’t actually mind, “come now Lucifer! It’s a fashion trend in their realm! It sounds fun!” With That Laugh TM

Diavolo is actually pretty lonely, loads of people feel they can’t approach him so he’d acc happy that you felt you could ask that of him

If you were closer than that, you’d be visiting the palace upon his request

If and when you’re alone, you’d ask him to wear one

He still wouldn’t initially see it in that way, his own demon form is shirtless

“I’d like to try one! Have you any ideas in mind?”

After understanding the nature of your request, something will flash passed in those golden irises

“I see... so this garment will grant you a certain gratification?” BLUSH

It’s not secret that Diavolo is the biggest demon, he is one big muscle machine

You’d struggle to find a crop that fit him ngl

he’d have one custom made from your design idea

You’d want him in a maroon or black one, specked with elements of gold to match his eyes

It would be snug due to his size, seeing every inch of muscle from underneath like a marble sculputre

There was something so.. awe inspiringly beautiful about it your breath stopped short

Any prior thought was lost as you silently trace the edges of him with your eyes

“Do you like it?” :) - well... duh haha

“What are you doing still standing over there?”

All would fall silent save for faint breaths and the steady beating of your hearts as you trace the crop’s fabric with your fingertips

He’s surprisingly soften as he’d watch you doing so

He’d wrap his strong arms around you, gentle fingertips stroking your hair

he’d murmur “I’m pleased you like it.”

Soft kisses planted on your forehead and you’re a goner - putty in his arms

“Might I ask... would you wear one?”

You bloody well would lmao

Might edit these later and need to link to the brothers one but hey ho, enjoy! ✨

#obey me #obey me HCs #The Undateables in crop tops #MC reacts to the Undateables #obey me undateables #Obey me Simeon #obey me Solomon #obey me Barbatos #obey me Diavolo #om! swd #obey me brothers

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