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ed89 · 2 years

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analysing the fuck out of byler rn (this took like 3 hours and also was done on google docs sorry for the random ass punctuation and grammar inconsistencies)

first we are gonna touch on the Byer’s phone line always being used so Mike only gets to call Will sometimes. But from what Dustin said, Mike was complaining about it constantly. We also know that Mike and El spoke through letters and the radio because of the government listening in on phone calls (and El is supposed to be dead). So Mike and Will’s primary way to communicate is via phone calls, but Mike was unable to reach Will most of the time.

Let’s just hammer in this very important piece of the puzzle: Will believes Mike is deeply in love with El.

Will thinks Mike is not calling and ignoring him because he’s more focused on El. He believes Mike just doesn’t care about their friendship anymore. However, because of this, Will also didn’t try calling Mike. This creates distance and tension between the two, but they also are completely unaware of the actual issue at hand...

...thats a mega miscommunication moment. Now it’s also Mike who thinks Will is ignoring him. The difference is, Will doesnt have a significant other to be focused on. Mike just thinks Will is ignoring him or pushing him away (Will mentions “el” (he’s talking about his own actions but under the guise of El) pushing mike away in the van scene. But i’ll talk about this in the van scene part). This makes Mike act passive aggressive. Not only does he ignore Will at Rink o Mania, he picks a fight with him too

When Will says “Oh no” when El is with Angela, Mike immediately stands up beside him. He has no idea that angela is picking on el. The reason he stands up SO QUICKLY is because hes alone with Will and Will said something. Look at mikes face after will says ‘oh no’. Like……… ??????

The rink o mania fight (going to tie this to the van scene)

“You should have told me she was having trouble”

“I didnt know she was lying to you.”

Being a douche and ruining an entire day out apparently entails “rolling your eyes, moping and barely talking”. Not the fact his gf just got publicly harassed and is now unable to be found. Mike is focused on Will, the guy he was “ignoring” all day. He had his attention on Will the entire time instead of El. HE NOTICED HIM ROLL HIS EYES???? BRUH

“Shes being lying to you all day” “i feel like a total third wheel”

“What about us?” Will does not mean this romantically. He thinks Mike is in love with El. He has absolutely zero idea that Mike likes him back.

Mike, however, takes this romantically. We can see it in his face, the soft expression even though they were just fighting.

“We’re friends! We’re friends.”

“We used to be best friends”

Which is true. These two were inseparable

“Maybe you should have reached out more, i dont know. Why is this on me? Why am i the bad guy?” this line hurts because he isn’t the bad guy. He’s having his own issues and he also thought Will was ignoring him out of spite

Now, the first bit tells Will that Mike wanted Will to reach out more, but Will still isnt aware that Mike was trying to call him. A lot.

OKAY mike and el fight now

Mike made her eggos. He sits on her bed (parallels with that byler scene in dear billy).

“So, um, are we just gonna not talk about it?” he says this kinda rudely tbh

Mike doesnt understand why El is lying to him

El says shes different and does not belong

Also this whole fight scene??? Hes so insincere. He doesnt know how to comfort her. He also cant take the blame or admit that he doesnt love her. “I care for you.” Hes not trying to be malicious, hes just stupid

“You dont love me anymore?”

“Who said that I didnt?” YOU DID MICHAEL

“You never say it”

“I say it” NO THE FUCK YOU DONT BRO???

“You’re being ridiculous” no shes not

“You’re the most incredible person in the world” He cant say that she’s a woman. I dont think he ever has

“You cant let these mouthbreathers ruin you, ruin us” im guessing hes talking about the bullies, but… um, they didnt cause any of this. How is that related to being able to tell your gf that you love her. Bruh??? Explain??

“You’re a superhero” she hates that. And he says it again in the monologue. She doesn’t like being called that

Ok on to dear billy

“If you keep staring at that, it’s not going to change”

Mike CRUMPLES the letter and throws it IN THE TRASH. Yeah so…..they arent coming back from that fight. Im pretty sure at this point on, mike fully believes that him and el are over and the next time he sees her, they are going to break up. This is important, as it explains some of mike’s actions and words later on

Will sits next to him. Mike has a gay panic

“Me and el had a bad fight. This one felt adult. Felt more real. Like its a fight you cant come back from (a break up). Maybe i should have said something. Maybe if i had said that thing (i love you), she would want me there with her”

“We’re going to find her, and whatever you didnt say, you can say it to her then”

Mike is still having a gay moment. Bro is mesmerized. Now here comes the flirty part

“Shes going to be ok. Shes not in hawkins, thats what we should be worried about”

“You dont trust owens?”

“That was you guys who saved me. You guys.” AND MIKE LOOKS SO SMUGGGG ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!@?@#!@!&#@ even will’s reaction is sus. They are gay

“Look like its going to be up to us again” hes not looking at will here. I also think hes flirting here too. He looks back once will replies,

“It always is, isnt it?” and then michael has that big ass grin after a little chuckle. Homosexual

In will’s eyes, this is him fixing mike and el’s relationship. He doesnt know the real reason why they were fighting. To him, the words “i love you” are just “something mike didnt say to her during the fight”. Perhaps he just thinks its an apology that mike needs to say

But he didnt fix their relationship, because the issue is much bigger than some random thing Mike didnt say. Because its not a random thing. Hes not in love with her. Will thinks Mike is in love with her, and Mike still thinks him and el are probably going to breakup

NEXT BYLER SCENE!!!!

may i mention and yes ive already said this on tumblr but mike thinks his relationship with el is pretty much over. and then he goes and starts flirting with will… gay!

Mike enters. He closes the door behind him this time. Probably because he starts FLIRTING RIGHT OFF THE BAT

He checks out will and licks his lips like ok

“Thanks, by the way. (“for what?”) For knocking some sense into me, i mean, i was being a total self pitying idiot”

Self-pity: ‘When you feel sorry for yourself, or overly sad about the difficulties you face’. His self-pitying was being ignored by Will and acting like it was the end of the world

“I didnt say it” SLY SMIRK

“You didnt have to” FLIRTING!!!!! WILL BLUSHES AND TURNS AWAY

Then mike is like ‘ok stop flirting go back to what u originally wanted to say’ and he shakes his head and talks in a different tone…

“About the last two days..” the airport scene, ignoring will at rink o mania and fighting with him, and then mike staring at the letter in the last byler scene.

“You dont have to say anything. I was being a total jerk to El, i deserved it”

“No, no, you didnt deserve anything.” mike is saying will didnt deserve to be ignored and yelled at by mike. Mike knows hes in the wrong, but he couldnt admit he was in the wrong when he was fighting with el? okay!

Now Mike has Will’s attention,

“It’s hawkins. It’s not the same without you. And I feel like maybe I was worrying too much about El and.. i dont know, maybe i feel like i lost you or something. Does that make sense?”

In the script, it tells us that it makes total sense to will. He feels the exact same way that Mike does. Mike feels the exact same way that Will does, and we know that Will loves Mike. do u see where im getting at

“I have no idea whats going to happen next” hes either talking about his relationship with El or the actual events occurring (the upside down, reaching el, etc)

Mike and Will lock eyes

Mike is trying to fix what had been damaged since they were separated a year ago. He wants them to work as a team, and be best friends again, since they had been accidently avoiding one another

Ah… episode 5. The on top of the car scene where they are literally talking about confessing to each other. No, they arent actually just talking about argyle and the agent dude not saying the number. Mike is talking about the fight with el again, saying he should have explained himself, and then maybe El would have taken him with her and things would be different, but he didn’t know what to say.

He did know what to say. “I love you”. But he didnt, because he doesnt love her

Then Will starts talking about confessing feelings, “Sometimes I think its just scary to open up like that, to say how you really feel. Especially to the people you care about the most.”

The camera is on Mike now. His expression is soft and hes watching Will intently

“What if they dont like the truth?” Mike looks down and nods. Ah, the truth. And whats the truth? That Mike doesn’t love El. Hes too scared to tell her the truth. Maybe hes too scared to admit the truth to himself, too

Their moment is seized by argyle speaking

Every moment from here to ep 8 isnt any deep or intimate conversations so ill ignore them

AND NOW

THE VAN SCENE. Which is exactly why i rewatched every other scene so i could link them to whats being said. Here goes

Will brings up El and going to Vegas with her to use her powers to win money. He’s also saying it excitedly, which is mentioned in the script. This is when hes being lit with sunlight like a disco ball, and when Mike is looking at him like hes the most beautiful boy hes ever seen

Then Will mentions playing D&D and Nintendo for the rest of their lives. A direct callback to their fight in s3 that hasnt been brought up SINCE it happened. Makes sense for them to finally mention it

But thats why Mike’s mood changes. The motive behind the vibe change is the fight being brought up. Will thinks it's because he was being childish and made it awkward, and he also thinks it's because of El (which is why he starts talking about her again, but more on that in a bit).

Will believes Mike loves El. Mike and Will’s fight was because of Mike spending too much time with El and ignoring Will and the rest of the party (because Mike was trying to get rid of his gay thoughts). Mike is the one who brings up playing games together for the rest of their lives. And then Will, always having loved Mike, says “Yeah. I guess I did.” ouch

Will isnt going to think Mike is upset because of the garage fight. But of course Mike is upset about it, because Mike is gay too. Mike regrets the fight. he regretted it WHEN the fight happened!!

So will brings up el again because he must be upset about el, right?

“We’re gonna make it, mike. Shes going to be okay”

[nervously] “Yeah, i know. I know she is.” He wasn’t worrying about El being in trouble, which is what will thinks the issue is

[contemplatively] “but what if after all this is over, she doesn’t need me anymore?”

We’ve been over this before.

Will is always trying to fix his and El’s relationship. Why would they break up if they are both in love? In jonathan’s bedroom, he tried fixing their relationship: “Whatever you didnt say then, you can say after we save her.” but its not that easy, because Mike literally cannot say “i love you”, and he definitely can’t say it in a genuine way, either

So yes. They have been over this before, and will can’t seem to understand why Mike needs to keep talking about it because ‘isnt it just something you want to say to her?’

Mike’s rant is pretty just him saying that him and el are going to breakup because they didn’t meet because of ‘fate’ or ‘destiny’ and theres no greater reason for them to stay together or be in love. No higher power has told them to be in love. Hes just some nerd that got lucky that superman came to his aid when he lost Will.

his rant, at its core, is mike trying to convince will that him and el arent working out, and that mike might not love her anymore, or maybe never did. he wants will to agree with him, but he doesn't, because will thinks mike loves el. hes not going to try and sabotage their relationship because he respects them both

also mike is sus af for regarding himself as lois lane (a woman) and his GIRLFRIEND as superman (A MAN)

Will doesn’t get what Mike is saying. He doesn’t understand what the issue is because he wouldn't think Mike doesn't love El. i mean, mike hasn't actually shown any disinterest in El to other characters. we only know hes queer because we see private moments between el and mike and how not in love he acts and how IN LOVE he acts with will. mike is TRYING to admit he doesn't love el but will misunderstands completely

Mike sees Will’s reaction and immediately apologises

Then we have “You’re scared of losing her.” i think we should all know by now that its MIKE who was talking about losing will in the dear billy scene. And ive always thought that in this part, when will said that, mike wasn’t thinking of el. He was thinking of will. The way they are looking at each other here… why would they both react like that when will is talking about mike’s girlfriend? Perhaps its because MIKE ISNT THINKING ABOUT EL

They lock eyes. A BEAT; then: Mike nods

he’s scared of losing Will. but he goes along with what will is saying, because hes too scared to actually continue with the confession he was originally going to make. He wasnt expecting will to say that, was he? He must have had more to say, but then will changed the subject

When Will lies about the painting, not only is it the first time he ever lies to mike, but it creates that miscommunication again. They dont understand what the other is saying

(Will tries to get what Mike is saying) and (Now its Mike who doesn’t get it)

These ones are the killers. We know exactly what Will is talking about during his confession. He’s confessing his feelings under the guise of El. Mike doesn’t get that Will is talking about himself!

But if Will didnt get what mike was trying to say then mike wasn't actually "scared of losing her", bringing me back to my point about his rant: He was trying to admit he didn’t love El and he was under the impression that he was going to inevitably break up with her. They aren’t meant for each other, they aren’t fate or destiny.

Mike doesn’t get it, though. He really does believe Will is talking about El’s feelings. I mean, that is what will was trying to do, anyway; fix mike and el’s relationship. but mike is in love with will, and mike feels the exact same way that will does (Mike also feels different, hes been ostracized and bullied, he’s scared of losing will), so it makes sense that Will's speech gives Mike the desire to try and salvage his relationship with El. Mike doesnt fully comprehend his falling out of love with El, obviously. His attempt to fix everything with a shitty monologue backfires when it fails miserably. His monologue wasnt genuine because he doesnt love her. Will gave Mike his feelings, not El’s. and mike and will are soulmates , so yes, hes going to think that the relationship advice is going to solve everything, and will even brought up points mike didnt think about! and now hes like damn ok will doesn't like me and maybe i could make it work with el

ok now im just ranting sorry

ive also forgot to touch on something i mentioned before so ill add it now. in the coded confession, will says "if she was mean to you, or she seemed like she was pushing you away-". im sure its obvious but el HASNT been pushing mike away. mike may have picked up on this and thought 'wait, something is off' because he kinda did have that expression?? but alas his thoughts were Stolen so idk. but mike felt like will was pushing him away, did he not? they both felt like the other was pushing away and creating distance. that's why mike regarded himself as a "self-pitying idiot" because he was feeling sorry for himself because will was ignoring him. so yes, its possible mike picked up on this, because el wasn't pushing mike away, but mike thought will was pushing him away. not sure if that means anything but i wanted to bring it up

anyway. here are my final points

Will fully believes Mike loves El

Mike thinks he's just some nerd that got lucky that superman came to his aid when he lost Will

Mike is scared of losing Will

They both feel the exact same way toward each other

Mike didn’t get that Will wasn’t talking about El during his coded confession

Will didn’t get that Mike wasn’t talking about losing El during his weird, coded rant

#byler #byler analysis #im clinically insane bc of gays #Studying gay people

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maya-meow · 2 years

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Diluc x gn! reader

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note: i was busy with school so i had no time to write a fanfic T^T sorry! Anyway my english is as bad as ever.

NOT PROOF READ!!

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You just got home from your commissions and god you were tired. Your whole day was gone now. You had a commission in dragonspine so it had to be a bit hard to complete it but this difficult?! Who even gives these commissions?. You had plans with diluc today, you and him got along quite well! You spend so much time with him since a few months. You really thought as a friend of him. You diden't really know how he thought about you because most of the time you two weren't alone and he would be a bit Divergent with his personality.

but you coulden't go with him today... you told him earlier and he looked so sad. Maybe you should bring a gift next time!

Wait thats a good idea! Before you got in bed you wrote a note for yourself to remember to buy a gift tommorow for him. You went to your bedroom and placed the note on your nightstand next to your bed. No time to shower you just fell on your bed with still all your clothes on. You threw the blanket over yourself and it started to get more difficult to open your eyes.

Just before you really fell asleep you thought you heard your door of your bedroom open again. But you were so tired... maybe you shouldn't get up. Or maybe you should, it could be a burglar ir something. You slowly started to get up, but it felt like you were being pushed down to the bed? Your mind was so tired, you diden't know... you fell back on the bed.

You rolled to your side and you thought you felt someone comb through your hair with their hands. It felt comfortable. Oh but you still had to look at the door! You started to sit on your bed again, but was once again pushed back down. Feeling someone comb through your hair again. "Shhh..Just go to sleep, darling." You relaxed again and gave up on standing. Your eyes closed. "Just like that, your so cute when your so tired.." the voice sounded so comfortable. you weren't sure what was happening, but it felt kind of nice.. "goodnight my love~" that was the last thing you heard before you fell asleep.

You woke up in a really cosy bed. You could lay here all day. The bedsheets felt way more comfortable as on the one you fell asleep. Untill you remember your bed isen't this great... you sit straight up on your bed and looked around. Your vision was still a bit blurry from just waking up, but you definitely saw someone sitting on a chair next to your bed. "Goodmorning dear, how did you sleep?" "Where am I?! Diluc? what are you doing here and how did I get here?!" You tried to get out of bed only for diluc to push you back down.

"Ah ah~ Don't struggle that much.. you looked so peacefull a minute ago." You started to panick even more. Why are you here? Why would diluc act like this? Wait wait did he just call you 'dear'?! Did you do something wrong? Did you upset him?

"What did I do wrong? Why did you do this?!" Your breathing was hard to controll and you started to sweat a bit. "Hey darling? Your not feeling well now. Take deep breathes for me okay?" "Why would i ever listen to you!? You took me here or something and you expect me to just do what you say?! Are you-" you felt something warm on your lips

He was kissing you?! what was even happening? you diden’t dare to move any more. what would he even do to you if you punched him right now?! But why did he even do this? Maybe this wasen’t that bad....what are you even thinking?! he took you here without permission. HE KIDNAPPED YOU. okay maybe you should stop him!

you tried to push him away only for him to kiss you again. You diden’t really have a choice. he was to strong for you anyway. you gave up on trying to escape him. diluc broke the kiss.

"That wasen’t that bad right? You did great." You looked away from diluc."Why did you bring me here...?" "What? Wasen’t that obvious? I love you darling. I took you somewhere safe. "What..?" "Are you still tired my love?" Diluc started stroking your hair. "Why would you even love me? Is this some sick joke? If so it isen't funny." Diluc frownd and hugged you. "I told you you shouldn't think bad about yourself..." you tried to get diluc off of you, but with no succes.

"Darling... why don't you get it..." he hugged you tighter "I only want the best for you! Those commissions only hurt you or tire you out.. those people who give you those commissions don't deserve to see your beautifull face." "But what about my family?!everyone i know?!" "How cute that your worried about that... I took care of that. I send them a letter from 'you'. Saying you would be gone for a few weeks."

"What....?!" "You don't have to worry anymore darling! I will take care of you from now on.." "but...!" "Shh..~ it will all be beter now dear. I won't hurt you.. i only want the best for you. Do you understand?" You diden't understand but said yes anyway. You diden't want to find out what he would do if you said no.. "good, I know this change is hard for you. So rest for a bit my dear. I will be back in an hour or 2 with some lunch.. goodbye my love"

#genshin fic #genshin impact x reader #tw yandere #yandere genshin x reader #yandere genshin #diluc #diluc x reader #diluc ragnivindr x reader #diluc ragnvindr #fanfic

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wizkiddx · 3 years

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living and reviving II

yep when I said three parts I think I meant 4 oops

summary: an overdue conversation that has to happen - like it or not

warnings: cheating, swearing, pregnancy talk, lots more angst, think thats it?

tomhollandxreader

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So with a new sense of dread and fear and complete and total isolation you uttered three single words before hysterically running away.

“Don’t follow me.”

Not now, not ever.

That had been three weeks ago.

And it still fucking hurt like hell.

It had ended up that Yamna had taken you back to hers, where you had stayed for a couple nights. During that couple of days, Tom had tried. He had tried to apologise, tried to explain, tried to fix things. But it just wasn’t that easy.

Whatever he said, it didn’t take back from the fact that he had in that moment meant it. So no amount of sorrys could ever take that back.

After everyone had realised just how serious their situation was, Tom had moved out of your shared flat - so you could at least be in the place you were comfortable. Afterall the nursery was built in your flat and clearly it was you doing all the baby stuff for the moment. Thankfully Yamna, having been cut loose so without job, offered to move in with you. Which was probably the only thing keeping you going.

Well, that and ben and jerrys ‘phish food’. Honestly the shop must think you’re running some sort of ice cream black market at the rate you’re getting through their tubs.

Everyone kept parroting that it wasn’t good for the baby. Too much ice cream . Too much heavy lifting. Too much stress.

And yes, it probably was. But that was out of your control . The stress and lack of man in the household meant you had to do the heavy lifting of shopping from the car up the stairs. Shopping meaning ice cream, which you only depended on so much because of the stress.

It was a vicious cycle of hell.

Even Yamna, the person you were relying on keeping you sane had started walking on eggshells. It was as though you were literally about to pop, she always had to have at least half an eye on you. You were even banned from locking the toilet door - just in case.

It felt like you were a captive animal, people kept coming to observe you, giving sad looks before gleeing the scene.

You hadn’t been sleeping well either. Of course, being 3 weeks of your due date didn’t help - but neither did the lack of Tom. In fact, for the first time since shit had hit the fan, you had actually been managing to get some decent sleep when Yamna knocked on your bedroom door, quietly calling your name.

“I’m asleep” Groaning, you pulled the covers further over your head, praying to god that she’d leave you alone. But of course that wasn’t happening, she just lightly chuckled before you felt the bed dip - she had perched on the edge… Toms side.

“You never normally sleep talk.”

“I’m never normally this sleep deprived.” She sighed, whilst you still stubbornly kept your eyes closed.

“I’m sorry I woke you…. but this is important.”

“What?” Almost grunting, you threw the covers down looking up at her in anticipation. That was another thing about pregnancy - you were always on high alert, always worried.

“Toms here.”

“Tell him to f off.” Quickly you stopped caring about what your bestmate had to say.

“He’s saying that he’s the little ones dad and that he deserves to be involved and…. and I think I might agree.”

“I deserve a boyfriend who stays loyal to me so clearly neither of us are getting what we want.” You weren’t angry at Yamna and snapping at her wasn’t the answer. And yet you still did it.

“Y/n….I love you and I am completely on your side. I just think that maybe, perhaps, you should at least manage to be civil before baby arrives. Otherwise… thats going to be a lot to deal with all at once.”

It was your turn to sigh, deep and heavy (or at least as deep as the baby let). Most infuriatingly she was right. The conversation had to happen at some point. With a baby there too it would only be even more traumatic.

“He’s here now?” It only dawned on you how broken you actually sounded when the words croaked out of you.

“Yeh hunny… I didn’t let him inside so he’s standing outside the door looking like a dickhead right now.” The image cheered you up a little, enough to sit up in bed and be wrapped in Yamna’s arms. Her actions said it all, she really only meant the best for you and knew how hard this would be. After a moment she leant back. “I almost considered calling the paps so they could get a picture and label him as a groveling dick.”

“You should of.” Of course you didn’t mean it, but the answer had you both laughing. It took a minute to calm down before she changed subject slightly.

“You want me to make myself scarce? I can hide in my room or go to the shops or-“

“Text the guy from the bar - you deserve a night off ‘babysitting Y/n’ duties.”

“I’m not babys-“

“Yes you are. Go out with him and have some fun, I’ll be fine.”

“You sure?”

“Yeh”

That was a bare face lie - but Yamna had been almost too good to you. She really really needed a break. Especially as the current plan was she’d be helping with the newborn too. Right now you wouldn’t have wished a baby on yourself - never mind your best mate.

“Okay, get ready then babe - but do it slowly, leave him waiting outside in the cold for as long as possible.”

“Obviously.” You laughed, hauling yourself out of bed, where she gave you one more encouraging hug before leaving.

After hearing Yamna leave, and brushing your hair and throwing on a new pair of trakkies and hoodie, you slowly walked towards the door. It felt as though impending doom were on the other side and every fibre of you wanted to scream and run the other way. But it just had to happen at some point. Why not now?

With a final sharp exhale, attempting to pull yourself together, you opened the door. Immediately your heart sank, seeing nothing. Had you really been that long? And even so, was a 10 minute wait enough for him to give up? You could already feel the hormonal pregnancy tears starting to spring, when a grunt drew your attention.

What you hadn’t considered was the fact Tom was ready to camp out, sitting on the floor beside your door. Springing to his feet, he seemed shocked you’d actually opened the door - makes two of you. When Yamna left she had told him you were coming, but seeing really is believing.

“Y/n! I-I… I wasn’t sure you were ever going to answer.”

“You and me both.” You replied dryly, still leaning on the door. “Do you er…. do you want to come in?” Again he seemed shocked, as though he wasn’t sure you meant it.

“Is that-that okay?” Shrugging you just nodded, stepping back so he could get in. He did pay half the mortgage afterall.

“You want a drink?” He quickly declined your offer, not vocally but instead rushing past you to the kitchen and turning the kettle on himself.

“Your the pregnant one. Go chill on the sofa, I’ll bring you a cuppa.”

And a bit taken a back by his forcefulness you followed instructions, from the sofa watching how effortlessly he danced round the kitchen. It wasn’t shocking, it was technically his kitchen too. But seeing him there felt so alien, almost transporting you back to much much simpler times. Seemed a lifetime ago.

After a couple of minutes, he rounded the sofa with a hot chocolate in one hand for you (because caffiene is bad for the baby) and a cup of Yorkshire tea in the other.

“So… how have you been?”

“Ate a lot of ben and jerrys” You answered without really answering, except he knew you all too well.

“That bad?” He sighed, scrubbing a hand over his brow “how about the baby?”

“I don’t tend to carry an ultrasound on me but she’s been keeping me up all night kicking - so normal I guess.”

“Thats good” He spoke before realising what he said. “Sorry no I um-I don’t mean it like that!” You all but laughed in the face of his flusteredness, only making the tips of his ears go pinker.

“I assume you had something to say and that you came here for a reason rather than just pity me?”

“I want to make things right Y/n - I-I mean your having my kid.”

“OUR kid”

“ Exactly! And-and I love you too and-“

“Bullshit” You may have murmured it under your breath but you had intended for him to hear.

“Oh come one Y/n, you know that!”

It was like the man was asking to be yelled at.

“Don’t sit there trying to patronise me! I THOUGHT i knew it but then I saw you all over another girl. So yes, I’m calling bullshit.”

“Ugh I… If your not going to even try to hear me out then…”

“Then what Tom? You gonna kick me out. I mean this is your flat after all! Maybe you’d like to dump the mother of your unborn child homeless on the street and forget about us - how’d that sound? I’m sure your fans would blindly applaud you.”

“Listen! Please would you just listen to me.” His voice was loud and tone harsh, making you flinch a little. Not because you were ever worried he’d hurt you - but how this wave of uncomfort shuddered through your body, baby even squirming in discontent. So focused on that you just nodded, shifting back into the sofa.

Tom had noticed your reaction and seeing you seemingly scared of him like that, well it broke his heart. Even more.

“Sorry I didn’t mean to shout, I just…. I really need to try and fix this.” He leaned closer, letting out a thankful breath when you just nodded, as if to say go on.

“I’ve really really missed you… these past couple of weeks I’ve never felt so gulity in my life. Not because of what I did! Well yeh that but-but more how much it hurt you and-“

“Fuck.”

You couldn’t help but let out that little curse of pain as a new wave of pain, which seemed to originate from your lower back, shuddered through you. Tom looked up from where his eyes had been nervously wringing his palms whilst he spoke. Rubbing a hand over your belly you shook your head and motioned for him to continue.

She was just kicking really really hard. Right?

“Uhm yeh so I just wanted to properly tell you everything that happened that night so at least we are on the same page? A-And I’m not going to try and use this an excuse but I had been drinking so-“

Seemingly baby disliked the end of that sentence too, causing another rippling wave to echo through your body, feeling as though a band was pressing tightly round your stomach. With another small curse it forced you to stand up, in the hope that’d ease her. Clearly she was as done with his shit as you were.

“Need a water.” You muttered, already waddling to the kitchen, where you heard Tom follow you immediately - like an inpatient dog.

“Y/n sit down I can-“

He was silenced by you freezing and grabbing his arm tightly - a physical contact he hadn’t been expecting from you.

“Tom… get your phone.” You spoke slowly, still not having dared to have moved an inch - fingers almost white from how tightly you were squeezing his forearm.

“Wha-are you-are you okay?”

“I think my waters just broke. Get the phone. Now.”

~~~ feedback is really appreciated + would love to know what u think as still in the process of writing so can be guided / helped by asks !!! ~~~

taglist: @maraudersandco @@minejungwoo @sippin-on-tea @thegirlintheswivelchair @lovehollandy12 @hollandlover19 @thefernandasantana @hunnybunimdun @hallecarey1@cedricdiggorysimpp @msmimimerton @hollandfanficlove @pandaxnienke @crossyourpeter @thegirlwiththeimpala @tom-softie @sunwardsss @spiitfiiires @radcloudenthusiast @ladykxxx08 @prancerrparkerr @wildxwidow @arctic-monkcys @ownbauer13 @tomhollandlol @marvelsbitch8 @peterr-parkourr @lizzyclifford13-blog @user1683 @elishi03

#tom holland #tom holland imagine #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland angst #tom x reader #peter parkqueue #tom holland oneshot #tom holland x reader #tomholland #dad!tom #tom holland x y/n #tom holland x pregnant!reader #Tom Holland fluff #tom holland fluff

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i-cant-sing · 3 years

Note

Ooh, you write for Greek Mythology? Perhaps Zeus kidnapping a male reader, and basically not listening to them at all. Zeus getting more and more annoyed that the reader fails to care about all the opulence, grandeur, and power Zeus has. The reader just trying to escape and struggle. Zeus deciding to teach them a lesson to respect the king of the gods?

Yandere Zeus x male reader

I was so tempted to just write a scene where Zeus just goes boop! And turns the reader into a cow 😂😂😂😂😂 Anyways, thanks for requesting! Greek Mythology is also one of weaknesses, especially Hades, Persephone, Ares, and Hephaesteus💖💖💖

Enjoy!

Check out my MASTERLIST for more!

TW: gore

Yandere Zeus:

It didn't work.

Nothing works.

You laid in a fetal position on the wooden floor of your apartment; crying. Crying because of the pain.

The pain of emptying the bottle of acid into your eyes? Partly the reason.

The pain of realisation that you've lost? Mostly.

I should've just stayed there. You cried. Should've just stayed with him and let him have his way.

It would've been far less traumatising than this anyways. This, this curse that he had given you all because you didn't want to sleep with him.

Who would've thought that Zeus, the Greek God, would have become obsessed with a mere mortal like you? And then who would have even imagined that he would kidnap you and take you to Olympus; where he would confess his love for you?

You certainly didn't. You thought that maybe you were just off your meds or that this was just a really weird dream. But the reality of the situation dawned on you the longer you stayed there; the longer Zeus made his advances on you.

You didn't get why he was so infatuated with you. Or so tolerant either. You've heard all the stories about him kidnapping others and forcing himself on them, but he never once forced himself on you. He could have, but he didn't. Instead, he kept on trying to gain your affection like one would do in a normal relationship.

His palace was the main attraction of Olympus. Golden gates and marble floors and huge pillars showed the grandeur of the palace. Wine so sweet that you couldnt get enough of, yet you didnt get drunk and food so delectable, you could devour the entire table. How you wished you could stay here forever and enjoy these treats, but you knew nothing comes for free.

Zeus tried to impress you with his powers, his wealth, and everything he could give you if only you accept to be with him for eternity. He had even given you the gift of immortality, which you tried to return but couldn't.

He was being beyond generous and patient with you. But you couldn't help but feel he had a sinister ulterior motive behind those charming grey eyes.

When showing off wasn't working, he started getting physical. Brushing his hands on your body, hugging you a bit too long for it to be comfortable, even forcing you into his lap.

Of course, you struggled. Who wouldn't? A powerful god comes and whisks you away to another dimension, then proclaims his love for you and offers you all the luxurious amenities one could only dream of, only asking for your love in return? When he could easily overpower you? Yeah, something doesn't sit right.

And its not just that reason alone that you kept resisting him, you know. You've heard of his wife and sister, Hera. You've heard all the stories of how she would treat her husband's mistresses and men.

You feared her, because if anything, the Olympian Gods were famous for their cruel punishments.

You really should've remembered that when you finally flipped out on Zeus, screaming how you don't need him, don't care about him, don't and won't ever love him.

That was the first time you saw him get angry, but it was gone just as soon as it came.

He collected himself and sighed. You thought you had finally gotten through to him but instead of letting you go or even strike you with thunder for such disrespect, he did something else. “You really want to return so bad? Alright, who am I to deny my love?”

He made a bet with you. "If you can survive in your world without me for... 2 months? No, that'll be too harsh on you; 1 month, I'll let you go and never pursue you ever again. And if i win, you'll do everything I say." He smirked. "What do you say? Sounds fair?"he asked you, his eyes hinting nothing mischievous.

You knew better. You knew he was playing some really heinous game with you, where all the rules are in his favour and the odds were stacked against you. But you were desperate for escape. Plus, it was only a month right? You could do it.

But you couldn't.

Zeus had given you a parting "gift". Which you had to accept in order to leave. You didn't know what exactly it was until you returned home.

You were surprised to see everything was normal. You thought that maybe you would be kicked out of your apartment, bankrupted yourself or someone was going to kill you.

No. Nothing bad was happening to you. It was happening to everyone around you and they didn't even know it.

As it turns out, Zeus had cursed gifted you with the ability to see how someone was going to die when you looked at them. And you could warn them all about it, but no one would believe you. You couldn't prevent their deaths. And somehow, everyone around you had horrible, gruesome deaths.

You had those pictures forever embedded in your mind.

You'll never forget how your tailor friend had her hair loose and they got stuck in the sewing machine, and ripped her entire scalp off, tearing away all the nerves and blood vessels.

Or how a guy from work accidentally slipped on to the rail tracks, and was run over by the incoming train; his skin and guts stuck to the tracks. They had to pour chemicals to dissolve his remains.

Or how your pot dealer owed some people, and wasn't able to pay them so they put him through a mince machine, but the machine kept getting stuck so they chopped his already mutilated body and then threw him back into the machine, piece by piece.

It was too much.

You decided to not look at all. You wrapped your eyes in a tight bandage around your head, but all thanks to him, you could see right through them.

When that plan failed, you decided to stay at home and avoid contact with people completely. But then, you could see the deaths of people on your TV, on your phone, even of people in your dreams. And the deaths were getting more gorey and disturbing.

So, you decided to pour acid into your eyes. It was painful. And for a second, it was worth it because you couldn't see.

But they regenerated back. Because he had made you immortal. Your eyes healed back with the perfect 20/20 vision.

And thats how you were in this position right now. Crying to yourself as you finally admit to that you've lost.

"Zeus."you finally whispered, not even entirely sure you did. But that was confirmed when you felt a slight breeze behind you, causing you to cry harder.

"Shhh, darling. Its okay. I'm here now."Zeus said to you in a calming voice, as he pulled you to his chest.

"P-please make it stop. I- I'm sorry! Just make it stop please, I beg you."you cried into his chest.

He ran his fingers through your hair, pressing a soft kiss to your temple. "Did you learn lesson, love?"he asked in a quiet tone.

You pulled your head out of his chest and nodded vigorously. "yes! Yes. I've learned it. You were right. I was wrong. I- I lost the bet. Just please make it stop-"you sobbed.

Zeus caressed your cheek, looking deep into your eyes. "Alright. Let’s go back home, okay? I've missed you a lot. 2 weeks apart was far too long for me, love."

When you both returned to Olympus, you were met with a woman. As you looked at her in the arms of Zeus, you didn’t have to ask to know the Queen of Olympus was waiting for her husband and you.

She smiled at you.

“Welcome back, darling.”

Hope you guys liked this! Thanks for being so patient!💞💞

#yandere zeus #yandere greek gods #yandere greek mythology #yandere gods #yandere goddess #yandere hades #yandere persephone

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dreamkidddream · 3 years

Note

Hi, I like your work.

If you could I have an obey me request of the brothers and( if possible the undatebles). About a mc who is changing their habits to be healthier (like exercise and healthy eating).

Cause thats what am doing at the moment and I would like the encouragement.

Thanks

Good luck with your journey and you can do it! I’ll probably do the Undateables in a separate fic, but I’ll definitely do them in the future. Reader is gender neutral!

The Brothers with MC Who Wants to be Healthier

Lucifer

He supports you, just don’t let it get in the way of your studies

Doesn’t really understand why but he doesn’t voice it aloud, and he likes that you’re actually making the effort too, showing a surprising amount of self discipline

He was amused (and worried) when you started working out with Beel, but was relieved when you came back okay and not missing any limbs

Still makes him worry though

He’s too busy to try and workout with you, but he does try to change his eating habits so you don’t feel like you’re doing this alone

(And this would explain why he’s been just a little bit crankier in the mornings since he cut back on his coffee intake. He won’t give it up completely, but he’s trying for you)

He does well keeping you on track though and knowing how strict he can be, it never got to the point of being overwhelming. It’s just his way of encouragement because he really means well and wants the best for you

Praises you so much, and you know it’s the truth too because Lucifer doesn’t just say anything to anyone. And takes his time in showing just how he is of you too, especially behind closed doors

He’s super proud of you, and he’s smug about it too. You’re his, you bear his pact mark on you, so he can’t help but show off your progress. It’s his sin, after all

Brags to Diavolo like the proud boyfriend he is

Mammon

He somewhat understands, but doesn’t at the same time. You look beautiful, stunning, hot, sexy FINE to him, but if that’s what you wanna do, you’re not doing it alone!

(He claims that you owe him some Grimm and that you’ll discuss payment later, but he’s honestly just excited to be doing this with you and doesn’t know how to handle it)

When he says that you’re not doing it alone, he wasn’t kidding. He’s right alongside you (even though he’s already by your side literally all day every day) putting in the effort 100%, and he’s a great motivator too!

Mammon is a model, so working out and healthy diets aren’t new to him. He takes on the role as your very own personal trainer, even if he forgets that you can’t eat all the food that he can or do everything that he can since you’re human

He’s confused but he’s got the right spirit!

His energy is just contagious! Doesn’t matter what you guys did, whether it was eating something instead of the usual Hellfire noodles or coming back after you guys finished a run, he’s always facing you with a blinding smile on his face every time

Mammon is basically your partner in crime and vice versa, so DUH he was gonna do this with you! What kind of first man would he be if he didn’t?

You’re not alone in this MC, and he’ll make sure it stays that way

Leviathan

OOF, he feels like he’s the wrong person to approach with this

It’s not like he doesn’t want to support you! He does! But, we all know how he feels about doing anything physical or doing anything that will take him away from his safe haven...

(With the exception of video games, anime, and Ruri-chan of course)

He REALLY doesn’t understand why you’re doing this, to him it’s like pure torture!

But, he sees how happy you look and how much energy you have now, so (with your help) he looked at it from a different angle...

That you were LEVELING UP

That’s what got him hype

(He still wouldn’t do it with you unfortunately)

He would unironically go on one of his rants and just be in awe at how much you’re powering up, waayyy better than his video game characters or some weak anime MCs; it’s just his way of encouraging you to keep going

He’s still too embarrassed to be straight forward to you, but you’re an inspiration to him. He expects nothing less from his Henry!

(If you see him trying to do any type of exercise in his room: no you didn’t!)

Satan

He finds it endearing to be honest, and he’s glad to help. Maybe he can find some helpful information in one of his books...

He’s not gonna act like your personal trainer like Mammon but he’s gonna be like your personal tutor but for your health!

“MC, make sure you don’t overdo it. I know you want to keep pushing yourself- and you’re doing more than a spectacular job- but you’ll end up hurting yourself if you overexert. How about you do some stretches as a cool down instead?”

Believe it or not, if he does do any type of workout with you (which would be somewhat rare), it would be stretches, only because it is somewhat calming and helps with how tense his body can be

And he enjoys the time he gets to spend with you

But he’s never afraid to give you motivation or give you compliments; he does it proudly and rather bold

Even if it seems like he’s just teasing you, Satan is being 100% honest. You’re already perfect in his eyes, but it just makes it more obvious seeing you doing something for yourself and being happy about it

Asmodeus

I feel like Asmo would be one of the most helpful brothers (besides from Beel of course) because he likes to take care of himself, and that includes eating healthy and working out

Even though doesn’t like to sweat and he hates the idea of feeling gross, he won’t whine (as much) because it’s something that he wants to do. He’s very big on self-love and having confidence, and he’s a firm believer in feeling good about yourself always, no matter what shape or size you are. After all, you gotta feel good to look good!

Plus, he has taken some devilishly selfies of his sweat glistening on him and he knows his fans go wild for those~

But this isn’t about him right now, you should’ve said something sooner MC, he’s glad to help!

Gives you new recipes to taste test together too! New recipes to try with you + new DevilTube videos= a recipe for views (and more time to be selfish with you)

GYM SELFIES

Also prepare to wear matching gym gear too. You guys are going to make progress and in style!

One of his favorite full body workouts hat he loves to do with you is yoga. Not only does it really become a peaceful time for you both to share, but it also gives him the opportunity to show just how flexible he is and how flexible he can make you~

Seriously though, Asmo is here for this! He will always be the first one to praise you for your accomplishments, and even if you feel like it’s small or that you didn’t really accomplish anything, he’ll make sure to prove you wrong

Beelzebub

He caught you doing some workouts in your room, and when he spotted you, it only meant one thing-

WORKOUT BUDDIES

You didn’t even have to ask him for help because he was already 100% on board with it

It’s only a handful of times that you’ve seen Beel be so serious before, so you were shook tbh

But don’t worry, it’s still gonna be tons of fun for you both!

He’s not gonna micromanage you or anything, and he invites you to his workouts all the time. Even if you have to remind him sometimes that you’re a human and you can’t just lift 1000 pound weights like it’s nothing-

The best spotter, no questions asked. If he even thinks that you’re struggling or he sees your arm shake in the slightest, he’s already behind you, holding up the bar and asking if you’re okay

If weights aren’t your thing or if you don’t feel comfortable going to the gym, he doesn’t mind doing at home workouts either! And he’s the best at correcting your form too

Even though he’s known for his insatiable appetite, he’ll still eat healthy with you. He may not know a lot about human food, but he does know what’s good for the body

Of course he still eats full course meals and will just burn it off like nothing, but he can skip out on Madame Screams’ pastries if it means keeping you motivated

You try to tell him that it’s okay for him to eat whatever, but he’s already shaking his head at you, telling you that you guys are in this together, and that’s that

You ended up splitting some sweets with him on your cheat day because you a.) felt bad and b.) wanted to thank you for being the best gym partner ever

He ate majority of it but still

Not to mention the encouragement that he’s always giving you! If it’s an off day or you feel like you didn’t do your best or enough, he’s already there giving you a smile and pulling you back on your feet, saying how much you’ve improved and how far you’ve come, and Beel isn’t the type to just say anything. He really means every word, and it’s more than enough to keep you going

And his high-fives >>>>>>>

The couple that gains together stays together, and he won’t lie; he feels more pumped in his workouts with you by his side

Belphegor

You weren’t coming home for your daily afternoon cuddle session(s), and when you did come home you were drenched in sweat and brushed him off for a shower. It went from occurring just once a week to every other day, and it was making him moodier than usual

When you explained it to him, he was whiny but supportive. Of course he supports your journey to a better lifestyle! He’ll just be supporting you from the comfort of his bed-

You’re definitely dreaming if you think you’re about to get him to join you working out (you should’ve went to Beel if that’s what you’re looking for)

But he’s great at being your cheerleader though! He stays in the room while you’re working out and he’s really cheering you on with his little chants (I mean it’s while he’s lazing around but still are you really surprised?), but you can’t help but still find it endearing and a way to stay positive

If ya’ll seen the new episode you understand what I mean lmao

He’s not one for moving around, but he can help you with what you eat

He’s pretty decent in the kitchen, and he’s got some safe-for-humans healthy snacks that he “borrowed” from Beel and some recipes that he got from Barbatos and Asmo

(Somehow Solomon overheard and volunteered himself to cook and Belphie doesn’t think he ever ran so fast in his life before when he walked away to go grab his “recipe book”)

Makes small remarks about your progress and says it like it’s the most obvious thing in the world, showing that he does notice the changes you’re making even if you don’t. Really helps you stay motivated!

His words may come off as dry and sarcastic sometimes, but he means well. He may have a bit of a hard time showing that he cares, but he does. And he cares a lot about you, more than he can express

Is also prepared to give you cuddles as both rewards and to make up from before

#obey me x reader #obey me reader insert #obey me headcanons #obey me lucifer x reader #obey me mammon x reader #obey me leviathan x reader #obey me levi x reader #obey me satan x reader #obey me asmo x reader #obey me asmodeus x reader #obey me beelzebub x reader #obey me beel x reader #obey me belphegor x reader #obey me belphie x reader #obey me swd #obey me

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blxetsi · 3 years

Note

do you write for zeke? if so could you please do some boyfriend!zeke (modern au) hcs? thanks🥺

tysm for requesting !!!

modern zeke jaeger dating headcanons

lowercase intended !

zeke jaeger x gn!reader

- biggest tease ever.

- i think you two wouldve started off as friends to lovers yk 😌✨

- v funny v teasing will make fun of you no matter what

- but its all lighthearted and you can genuinely tell hes joking and doesnt mean what he says

- hes a coffee person. all the way.

- almost always seen with a coffee in his hand

- after you keep stealing sips of whatever hes got he finally just caves in and will bring you your own drink whenever he sees you

- if you dont drink coffee, but prefer a sugary drink or something he'll tease you about it

- hes a very relaxed person and doesnt get jealous, hes not someone that will go balistic and get angry when you hug a friend he doesnt know or whatever

- also would be really cool with your exes if youre cool with them, like "oh yeah i remember you telling me abt them, congrats on your engagement btw" just a very civil man

- if he does have insecurities about your relationship he just kind of, wont say anything ???

- not that he doesnt want to he just doesnt know how to bring it up

- bae pls learn how to talk abt your feelings 😁👍

- anyways after a little bit youll notice somethings wrong, but he'll try and act "strong" bc thats what he thinks hes supposed to be for you

- baby no u can be vulnerable its okay 😐🤚

- he finally lets everything go and has a really long and progressive conversation with you about everything, and you guys work it all out !

- you assure him its okay to be honest and that hes always welcome to talk to you about how hes feeling and his heart just swells

- im also a firm believer in that zeke genuinely doesnt care what you look like, if he finds you cool he finds you cool, he dgaf

- poc ?? he loves you. plus sized ?? he loves you.

- if you even THINK of being like "lol im insecure" hes shutting it down and talking abt how beautiful he finds you

- hes also someone that likes to push you out of your comfort zone, but in baby steps ?? like hes not going to force you to do something when you say "zeke im genuinely not comfortable with this" but if youre very shy he'll try and help you kind of,, not be as shy (hopefully this makes sense 😁👍)

- also loves to cook with you.

- his favourite types of dates are just when you two go to each others' homes and just cook dinner together ?? maybe drink some wine while you chop vegetables and work together (if you drink obv, if you dont he wont drink either even if you say its okay)

- he thinks it makes the food taste better because "it was made with our love" yeah ok ig 🙄🙏

- his family is really cool !! his dads a doctor and his step moms a social worker, and theyre really nice people !! his younger brother is in college but after a while he grows to love you like a sibling

- his mom lives a couple hours away, so he only gets to see her during holidays, but shes a very kind woman who owns an art shop !

- hes a very family oriented man, and really likes that you like his family and vice versa, he thinks its really important that his s/o and family get along

- when hes with you he sees himself being with you for the long run, im talking marriage and kids (if thats what you want) but definitely marriage

- if you two had different friend groups i think it would be hard for either of you to kind of fit in with each others friends, but after a while you two get the hang of it and it gets easier to see them !!

- is the kind of guy who'll wake you up with kisses on your cheek 🤩

- also likes to spoon you or have your head on his chest. will NOT be the baby spoon no matter what.

- also the kind of guy who dramatically stretches and yawns in the morning

- likes it when you hold his hand, even if you guys are just sitting together on the couch watching something, its so simple and subtle but it makes him really happy

- if you have an office at home that you work in a lot, he'll come and check on you when it gets late. will just rub and pat your head and ask what youre working on, and ask if youll be done soon

- if youre stressing on something that needs to be done THAT NIGHT he understands and will just leave you to it

- when you come to bed late it wakes him up but hes glad it does bc then he can pull you into his arms 😌✨

- zeke has very warm hands, to the point where sometimes theyre sweaty and clammy, so when you have a stomach ache or cramps he has no problem just laying down behind you and rubbing your stomach where it hurts

- if you have a weird interest or hobby he wont discourage it as long as its not hurting you or anybody else, he'll try and get into it to but if he cant no harm done, he'll respect it and you

- i think he would have some acne scars on his cheeks from highschool (puberty am i right 🙄😤⁉️) and thats one of the reasons why he has a beard, just to make it hard to see

- its mostly bc hes cool though, and although he started growing it out BECAUSE he found the scarring weird, as hes gotten older he just doest care anymore

- if you think he looks hot clean shaven he'll do it for u, and he loves the compliments you give him

- zeke is the kind of guy that will flip through the tabloid magazines at checkout

- "babe did you know that jennifer lawrence has a dark secret ??" "i- i did not 😁"

- also the kind of guy that will laugh if he sees kids falling in public

- if he was a father he'd help his kid up obviously, but would do it while giggling the whole time

- has dad handwriting (u know what im talking about)

- everytime he calls his brother he answers with "hey asshole" ??? brotherly love 🙈✨

- is very into horror films, but ONLY good ones

- so like hereditary, midsommar, and black swan are some ones he loves

- the kind of guy that has captain crunch for breakfast every morning

- theres this guy at the law firm he works at that he has a "rivalry" of sorts with, his names levi and from what youve been told hes actually very intimidating ??

- loves to read and will read to you if you ask, would have you in between his legs with your back to his chest on the bed, and he'd have one hand in yours and the other holding whatever book you choose

- zeke needs to be in complete darkness to sleep but needs to have a room as bright as possible to be productive. so every morning after he stretches and gets out of bed hes immediately opening his curtains and letting light into the room because "its the only way he'll actually get ready"

- if he was ever to pop the question he'd do it alone at a very mundane time, just like "wow this is the moment" and ask you to marry him. doesnt matter if he has a ring or not, hes ready, and he realizes this, and he finds the beauty in just doing something so simple with you. hes content and happy, and you make him see life in things he hasnt before, and hes ready for the commitment that comes with marriage, and hes in love with you.

hope u all enjoyed 🤩🤩🤩 asks r open so request if ud like !!! okay love u all stay safe 🤩

#attack on titan #attack on titan fanfiction #erwin smith #hange zoe #levi ackerman #zeke jaeger #zeke yeager #zeke yaeger #zeke jaeger x reader #zeke yeager x reader #zeke jaeger headcanons #zeke yeager headcanons #zeke x reader #zeke jaeger x gn!reader #shingeki no kyoujin x reader

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not-me-simping-for-blasty · 3 years

Note

I come here for words of wisdom. Every time I read a fanfic about Bakugou being a fuckboy I normally laugh it off because it sounds ridiculous in my mind, although sharing this thought with other people made me realize that some actually think he might be in the future???? So, I want your honest opinion. Not just about that, but I'd genuinely love to know your input on how Bakugou would be in his late-teens, early adulthood, before (for the sake of it) meeting X and settling. Would he sleep around? Would he try for a relationship and fail? What would fail? What would make him settle? Would he really just focus on hero work and that's it? So. Many. Questions.

Hope everything is going great for you. I haven't been on tumblr much (am I the only one noticing the insane wave of wattpad writing here??? p.o.v. and all??????) but I've been following your stuff, and as always, it's incredible. 💞💕

PLS - okay this is so nice to see bc i’ve actually been taking a break from tumblr/writing for the past month. (mental refresh u kno?) aND YESTERDAY I CAME BACK AND SCROLLED THRU MY DASH AND SAW WATTPAD STUFF JUST LIKE YOU SAID.

i was shocked. aghast. completely bewildered. pls i even caved and searched up bakugou fics just to see if everyone else is treating him like that,, and like i dont even know why i did that, because ofc i knew the answer was gonna be yes!! the answer is always yes !!! like i just saw so many fics of him as such a “ooo daddy dom badboy bakugou 🥴🥴” and like why???? bakugou is such a frickin nerd?? and thats sooooooo funny?? whY STRIP HIM OF HIS COMEDIC POTENTIAL ???

but yes yes specifically about bakugou being a fuckboy..... yeah i have no idea where the fuck they get that from. like- did we watch the same show???? sex and especially being naked are such vulnerable things at their core, and they rlly think Mr. Anti-Vulnerability is gonna be the one to sleep around??? to willingly put himself into a vulnerable situation time and time again?? no. pls. c’mon y’all. sometimes i think even todoroki would be more likely.

and just- to sleep around you have to be very comfortable showing interest in other people, over and over and over again. and i just- bakugou doesn’t even admit that his friends are his friends???? and somehow they think that suddenly he’s gonna go around telling people “hey. i like you. and by admitting that to you, i am therefore giving you a slight bit of power over me.”

i- no. he’d never. period, end of story. he would rather be fuckin’ dead. so the answer is no, as he currently is, i cannot for the life of me see why he’d ever become a fuckboy. he just doesn’t have it in him lmaoooooo

ooo but about the what makes him settle question- THANK YOU IVE BEEN DYING TO TALK ABOUT IT.

okay so how i see it, is bakugou is probably totally and completely fine being alone up until his like mid 20’s. sure he thinks maybe it’d be nice to have somebody, but he works so hard that it’s always a fleeting feeling. but then he gets a little older, settles into his spot on the rankings (#3 btw, im soRRY kats but its the truth!!) and watches all his friends get into meaningful relationships. and then, a few more years down the line (think late 20’s/ early 30’s) he’ll be sitting back and being like “shit. i don’t have anybody like that. somebody who’s just for me. who’d pick me first always.”

and i think that is what he wants most of all. i mean, he’s clearly chock-full of insecurities related to that idea, and i cant imagine him ever settling without that need being fufilled. like, i think eventually he’ll probably abandon the idea of being #1 hero, but he’ll still keep that dream of being #1 somehow. so once he finds somebody that always has his back, always puts up with his shit and still loves him at the end of it?? still looks at him with stars in their eyes day after day??? pls. mans is putty and will never even dream of leaving

but that being said- i dont think he’s gonna find The One on first try. i think he’ll be aiming for that, but i cant see it working out. even when he starts seriously dating around his mid 20s, i think he’ll still be too caught up with his hero work. it’ll take him a good few years and one/two failed relationships to finally find a balance that works for him and whoever he ends up with

@i-need-air tysm for asking,,,, clearly i have a lot of thoughts and i love him sm so this was so fun!!!!!! i loved this ask ty!!!!

#bakugou katsuki #bnha bakugou #katsuki bakugou #bakugou x reader #bnha fic #mha bakugou #bakugou imagine #bakugou ask #bnha #mha

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cringesideblog · 3 years

Text

here’s my dnf playlist and a complete song by song track-list and why I put them on it.

heatwaves- on here for very obvious reasons. i don’t think I need to explain. but here are some lyrics anyway. “Sometimes all I think about is you, late nights in the middle of June.”

Jenny- again this is kinda obvious. “I wanna ruin our friendship, we should be lovers instead, I don’t know how to say this, cuz you’re really my dearest friend.”

TALK ME DOWN- this one just has the best friends pining for eachother vibe. “I wanna sleep next to you, and that’s all I wanna do right now.”

Dark paradise- kinda has dream smp vibes. but also you could argue heatwaves vibes. “Everytime I close my eyes, it’s like a dark paradise.” “There’s no relief, I see you in my sleep.” “There’s no release, I feel you in my dreams.”

Sweater weather- yeah you know why. you absolutely know why. “All I am is a man, I want the world in my hands. I hate the beach but I stand, in California with my toes in the sand.”

Drop the Guillotine- idk man just vibey. give it a listen you’ll get it. it’ll click. “You sure know how to drop that guillotine on me, though you would never wanna see me bleed.”

Can I call you tonight?- thats on their only for of communication being through the phone huh. (major heatwaves vibe) “powers out and I can’t turn the fan on, so can I call you tonight? trying make up my mind, just how I feel.”-“I hear your voice on the phone, now I’m no longer alone.”

Lemon boy- oh my god this song. geogre do be seeing dream as his lemon boy. “I helped him plant his seeds and we’d mow the lawn in bad weather.”

Yellow- DREAM IS LITERALLY GEORGES YELLOW SHUT UP RIGHT NOW. “Look at the stars, look how they shine for you.” “For you I’d bleed myself dry.”

Like you do- first of all I love this song, second, this has dream being a little too attached vibes. The whole song is just them. “Lost in the blue, they don’t love me like you do, those chills that I knew they were nothing without you, and everyone else they don’t matter now. You’re the one I can’t lose, no one loves me like you do.” “Since I met you, all the gloomy days just seem to shine a little more brightly.”

I saw you in a dream- mega heatwaves vibe. “When I’m awake I can’t switch off,” “I saw you in a dream, you came to me. You were the sweetest apparition, such a pretty vision.”

Maybe you’re the reason- did someone say pining best friend who doesn’t know that they’re in love ? this song. this song right here. “I keep looking for something, even though I know that it’s not there. Maybe you’re the reason. And anytime I try to figure it out, you’re the only thing I can think about.”

The king- DREAM SMP VIBE. “You like me, well obviously, so why you tryna leave when you know that I’m the king?” “Other lovers give you no luck, cuz I’m the only one who’s made you fall in love.” “Playing with your heart cuz you gave me the throne.”

Sweet- an adorable song truly that actually fits them so well. “Watching the, video that you sent me- you know that I’m obsessed with your body, but it’s the way you smile that does it for me.” “It’s so sweet, knowing that you love me.”

Apocalypse- um okay here me out, apocalypse au?? yeah i know it’s cute as shit you’re welcome. “Your lips my lips, apocalypse.” “When you’re all alone, I will reach for you, when you’re feeling low, I will be there too.”

Fear of the Water- don’t come for me this ones kinda sad, beautiful song though. “If this was meant for me why does it hurt so much, and if you’re not made for me why did we fall in love?”

Dreaming of you- two words, heat. waves. but also yeah good song for them in general. “Want you all the time, and now I’m dreaming, dreaming, dreaming, dreaming of you.”

Wires- uhhhhh dream smp vibe, dream villain arc n all . “If he said help me kill the president, id say he needs medicine.” “He said that I should take it in, listen to every word he’s speaking.”

Midnight love- it’s girl in love so, you already know how it issss. “I know I don’t want to, be the one that you run to, when you’ve got nowhere else to go, when you need some love.” “I always give in to give you it all.” “I can’t be your midnight love, when your silver is my gold.”

The beach- SUCH A HEATWAVES SONG JUST LISTEN. “I feel it burning me, I feel it burning you.” “I think I can see the beach, I know what’s underneath. I need you here with me,”

Cherry flavored- the neighborhood just.. they have a dnf vibe. “Cherry flavored conversations with you got me hanging on. Down to earth from all the waiting. Take me somewhere beyond.”

Pretty boy- geogre is a pretty boy. point blank period. “Even if my heart stops beating, you’re the only thing I need with me.” “Pretty boy, you did this with me boy.” “As long as I got you, I’m gonna be alright.”

Bad idea- girl in reddd... but like imagine them casually hooking up and not knowing their in love tho. also I feel like they would definitely think that their relationship is a “bad idea” bc they’re stupid. “It was a bad idea, to think I could stop, was such a bad idea, I can’t get enough.” “Darling your so pretty it hurts.”

Line without a hook- ICONIC!! dream definitely does not think that he deserves george. “You can hold my hand if no ones home.” “All my emotions feel like explosions when you are around” “Oh baby I am a wreck without you.” “She’s a, she’s a lady, and I am just a boy. She’s a, she’s a lady, and I am just a line without a hook.”

Say you hate me- mega dream smp vibes as of recently. with the whole removing geogre as king. “I guess that your friends where right, from the start when they thought that I was a bad guy.” “Can you just say that you hate me? Or that you will never love me?” “Never meant to make you leave, never meant to make you cry.”

Cherry bomb- reminds me of how dream cheated on fundy with geogre. “I’m too close to crushing, and I’m too close for comfort I’m rushing.” “I ask how shes so mellow, she tells me her shades are in yellow.”

This side of paradise- I mean, like, kinda heatwaves vibes, but also just them. “Ask me why my hearts inside my throat. I’ve never been in love I’ve been alone.” “If you’re lonley come be lonley with me.”

Linger- geogre literally has that boy wrapped around his finger and I can’t not see it in this song. But when you look into it HELLA dream smp vibes, lyrics can be switched for either perspective here. “You know I’m such a fool for you, you got me wrapped around your finger.” “I thought the world of you, I thought nothing could go wrong, but I was wrong,”

august- i don’t know what is but this song is for them. it just is. “To live for the hope of it all. Cancel plans just in case you'd call” “So much for summer love, and saying “Us” Cause you weren't mine to lose”

I was an island- i just love the idea of them being hardasses and not thinking they need anyone until the other comes into their life and rocks their world. kinda dream smp vibes “I was a fighter, and I was so brave, but I lowered my sword when you held me and swore you’d stay.” “I was a wolf, dear, apart from the pac But you answered my cries in the dead of the night and told me that you had my back,”

Golden- k this one feeds into the “you’re literally the sun in my sky I’m not worthy” feel “I know you were way too bright for me I'm hopeless, broken” “I know that you're scared Because hearts get broken” “I can feel you take control Of who I am and all I've ever known Loving you's the antidote”

Strong- ummm okay but the “we’re better together” dynamic is them “I’m sorry if I say I need ya, but I don’t care I’m not scared of love.” “when I’m not with you I’m weaker is that so wrong? Is it so wrong, that you make me strong.”

Fly out west- the whole, I need to see you, you’re all I think about, stuff gets me. also heatwaves vibe. “Well tell me do you know? You’re all I dream about. Take it from me I’m too dumb to recognize your doubt.”

Cruel summer- them and summer, you dig? “I don’t wanna keep secrets just to keep you.” “I love you and that the worst thing you ever heard?”

Nothings gonna hurt you baby- I put this one on here because of how protective dream is over geogre “Nothing’s gonna hurt you baby, as long as your with me you’ll be just fine. Nothings gonna hurt you baby, nothings gonna take you from my side.”

Cardigan- young love, the kind of lover that makes you feel like you are the most important thing in the world to them “when you are young they assume you know nothing, but I knew you-“ “and when I felt like I was an old cardigan under someone’s bed, you put me on and said I was your favorite.”

Cry baby- them being in that weird stage where they recognize that it might be more than just senseless flirting and they might have feelings but also being paranoid that they’re the only one with feelings uh- “I can taste it my hearts breaking, please don’t say it. That you know, when you know.” “I know I’ll fall in love with you baby, but that’s not what I wanna do baby.”

Speak now- literally the fundy dream wedding. i rest my case. “I hear the preacher say speak no or forever hold your peace.” “Dont say yes runaway now.”

I love you so- this song is cute on the surface but kinda sad once you look into it. it’s kinda about a codependent love that isn’t going well. “I gotta get away and let you go I gotta get over, but I love you so.” “You were cool and I’m a fool so please let me go.”

In conclusion I’d really appreciate if you could check it out :) <3

#haha playlist go brr #Please I beg of you go send it some love it genuinely think that all the songs fit them so well #also this might get updated as I listen to more music and discover new songs that fit them #but please #pleaseeee #go like it :)#that would be nice of u <333 #dreamnotfound #georgenotfound #dreamwastaken #dnf #Spotify #heatwaves

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waitimcomingtoo · 4 years

Text

Cherry Wine

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader

Synopsis: Peters new girlfriend isn’t what she seems

WARNING: domestic abuse

Masterlist

Lorina Dodson.

Peters girlfriend of two months now. You and Ned didn’t think they’d last more than a week but they had somehow managed to surpass all expectations.

You tried to be happy for Peter, but you just could my figure out what he saw in her. She was rude, volatile , and had a mean streak to her. It took all your will power not to get down on your knees and beg Peter to break up with her. Not even because you were in love with him, which was Ned’s running theory, but because he wasn’t happy. You weren’t blind to the look he got on his face when she came around. Not to mention that he came back from hanging out with her looking sadder and more worn down than before. Peter didn’t like to talk about his relationship much and you didn’t understand until one night when he came to your room for patching up.

“They got you pretty good tonight, didn’t they?” You chuckled softly as you dabbed hydrogen peroxide on Peters busted lip. He had come to you for repairs before since he lived across the street and you were usually able to joke around about how neat up he had gotten. Tonight, the misty look in his eyes told you he wasn’t in the mood for joking.

“Something like that.” Peter smiled sadly, winching a little when you blew on his cut.

“Sorry.” You spoke softly and looked in his eyes. You could see the redness surrounding his eyelids and put your supplies down. “What happened tonight?”

“I got my confidence shaken pretty badly.” Peter shrugged and refused to meet your eyes.

“Maybe you should tell Lorina about your double life.” You suggested. “I can always patch you up but I can’t exactly kiss it better.”

As much as you disliked his girlfriend, and the fact that he had a girlfriend in the first place, you knew there were some things only a girlfriend could fix. You couldn’t take Peter into your arms and comfort him the way she could. Peter shook his head and looked up at you with tears in his eyes.

“I don’t think I’m where I’m supposed to be.” His voice cracked and you immediately wrapped your arms around him. You held him against your tummy and stroked his hair to soothe him.

“What do you mean?” You asked.

“She won’t let me be.” He cried and buried his face in your shirt.

“Lorina?”

“We fight all the time.” He sniffled. “I feel like I can’t grow as long as I’m with her. She’s keeping me in one place and I don’t want to be there anymore.”

“Can’t you just break up with her?” You thought the solution was obvious.

“I tried but,” he shrugged in misery, “she said I was all she had. She started freaking out and saying she-“

“Shhh.” You cut him off when you saw how worked up he was getting. “It’s okay. I understand.”

“That’s not even that half of it.” He whimpered and your face twisted in confusion.

“What do you mean?” You wondered.

“I can’t tell you.” He began to cry again. “I’m sorry.”

You looked out your window, deep in thought as you comforted Peter. Something about his relationship wasn’t right but you didn’t want to push him for information when he was already upset. You let him lay down on your bed and rubbed his back until he fell asleep. Sleep was a stranger to you that night as you laid awake, wondering what Lorina had done to make him that upset.

“Ugh! Peter totally bailed on me again.” Lorina’s voice snapped you out of your daydream of that night with Peter. “How many times he can forget he has a science project due the next day?”

You gave her a fake smile and cursed Peter briefly for leaving you alone with her. You knew he had to run off on an unexpected Spider-Man escapade, but Lorina didn’t know that.

Or need to know.

“Thats Peter for you. You’re gonna have to get used to that.” You told her with false sympathy and began to walk towards your apartment.

“Whatever.” She grumbled and eyed you’re for a moment. “What about you? Do you want to hang out?”

You stopped in your tracks and shut your eyes tightly as she asked exactly what you didn’t want her to ask.

“Oh, that’s okay.” You turned around and gave her a tight smile.

“No, I think we should.” She was blind to your indifference. “Peter wants us to be friends, anyway.”

“Sure. Why not?” You reluctantly agreed and followed her in the opposite direction. She began to describe a fight she got into with a teacher while you half listened. The more time you spent with her, the less you understood what Peter saw in her. When she began to curse out a teacher you always liked, you fully tuned her out. Your attention shifted to a child crying outside of a jewelry store. He was looking around and unattended, giving the impression that he was lost.

“I’ll be right back.” You told Lorina and walked over to the little kid.

“Whatever.” She mumbled, not bothering to look up from her phone as she took a seat outside a bakery.

You jogged across the street and knelt down in front of the little kid.

“Hey, buddy.” You gave him a gentle smile. “Need some help?”

It didn’t take long for him to dial his moms number and tell her where he was. Frankly, you wish it took longer. His mother came back in no time and gave you a grateful smile as she hugged her son. You smiled at the family and went back to Lorina across the street.

“Who was that?” Lorina cocked an eyebrow at the child and his mom who were now walking away.

“I don’t know.” You shrugged and sat back down. “He couldn’t find his mom so I let him use my phone.”

“You let a random little kid touch your phone?” She asked in disgust.

“Of course, he was lost.” You said simply. “Plus, I love kids so it didn’t bother me.”

“I hate little kids.” Lorina laughed and sunk back in her chair. “My sister ran over my foot with her bike last year and totally broke like half my toes. I started hitting her and my stupid neighbors called the police. They didn’t even care that she started it.”

You looked to the side to shield your shocked expression and quickly composed yourself.

“Oh, wow.” You squeaked out and cleared your throat. You looked am back at her with hope that she was joining but her face was completely serious.

“It was the literally the stupidest thing.” She rolled her eyes. “I had to go to these like, court ordered anger management classes for a year. Can you believe that?”

“No, I can’t.” You answered honestly. You wondered if Peter knew about her anger issues and feared for him if he did.

“It’s whatever. It was that or jail, so.” She shrugged like normal people had to decided between court ordered classes or jail. You laughed awkwardly and tried to think in excuse to get away from this girl.

“What happened to your sister?” You asked, already anxious for her response.

“She was such a baby about. My dad totally took her side and moved out. I don’t care though. I’m much happier without her.” She scoffed and went back to texting.

“I’m sorry about your dad moving out.” You tried to show sympathy. “Do you miss him?”

“Please.” She laughed at your words. “He hated me ever since I broke my little sisters arm. And that was like, three years ago and he still couldn’t let it go. It was her fault that time too. I told her if she went in my room one more time I was gonna twist her arm and literally the next day I find her in my room.”

“So what happened?”

“I did what I said.” She stated. “I twisted her arm but she was like 6 so it broke and I had to get removed from the house for three days. God, I hate that brat.”

You stared at her in bewilderment but she was too busy texting to notice. You got a sick feeling in your stomach as you thought back to your conversation with Peter. Was this what he meant by not being able to tell you the half of it?

“Does Peter know about this?” You asked quietly, praying he had no idea about her violent streak.

“No. You don’t tell your boyfriend these things. It’s not like he ever talks to me anyway. He’s always hanging out with you.” She gave you the side eye and you didn’t know if you should be relieved just yet. Just because he didn’t know about her past doesn’t mean he hadn’t experienced her present.

“Sorry about that.” You said sheepishly. “You guys hung out last night though, right?”

“Yeah. We had a fight though. But I think I fixed the problem. He’s not gonna mess up again.” She said with a confidence that sent a chill down your spine.

“I’m glad you guys could work it out.” You said with a dry mouth. Your eyes drifted down to her knuckles, which were red and bruised. She saw you staring and pulled her hands into her sleeves so you couldn’t see them anymore. You quickly looked away and pretended not to notice, but you couldn’t get the image out of your mind. Something inside you told you it was time to leave.

“I gotta go.” You stood up abruptly and gave her a fake sad face. “I forgot I have a…science project.” You hoped she wouldn’t pick up on the fact that you and Peter used the same excuse when lying, but her face told you that she did.

“Uh, sure. Go nuts.” She rolled her eyes and you took that as your cue to leave. As soon as you had your back to her, your face twisted in fear. Something was going on that Peter sent telling you about. And if he wasn’t gonna tell you, you were gonna get it out of him.

“How was patrol last night?” You started your plan to get the truth out of Peter off slowly. He was hanging out with you Sunday night since he had been with Lorina Saturday night. He had to work out a schedule early in his relationship to make sure he had time to see both his girls.

He just hated the days that weren’t spent with you.

“I didn’t go out last night.” He told you. “Lorina was feeling a little neglected so I hung out with her. She told me you two hung out the other day, though.”

“Oh yeah. After school.” You thought back to your time with his girlfriend and shuddered. “She’s uh…interesting.”

“I’m glad you guys get along.” He smiled slightly and you caught sight of a forming bruise on the side of his face. You hadn’t noticed it until he turned his face into the light, and now it was all you could see.

“Hey.” You squinted your eyes and took Peters chin between your fingers. “Your eye is bruised.”

“Is it?” He touched it and winced. “Must’ve happened on patrol.”

“I thought you skipped patrol to hang out with Lorina?” You furrowed your eyebrows.

“Oh, right.” His face faltered. “I went on patrol after.”

“I didn’t see you on the news.” You tilted your head. You could always count on a Spider-Man sighting on the cover of a magazine the morning after patrol but hadn’t seen one that morning.

“It was a quiet night.” He lied and looked away from you.

“It was a quiet l night but you have a black eye?” You asked and the sick feeling returned to your tummy.

“Haha, yeah.” He scratched the back of his head. “Some guy punched me pretty hard.”

When he moved, his sleeve slid up his arm and you could see deep red scratches on his skin. You took his arm and inspected it closely. You had accidentally stretched yourself enough times to know what caused them.

“These are nail marks.” You looked up at him for answers. Little flakes of red nail polish were still lingering on his skin. Peter pulled his arm away and cradled it.

“She grabbed my arm pretty hard, too.” He said with a flushed face.

“I thought you said it was a guy?” You caught his slip up and Peters eyes widened in a panic. You could see him struggling to get his story straight and it only worried you further.

“It was dark. I couldn’t really tell.” He stammered. You knew Peter well enough to know when he was lying. The alternative to him getting beaten on patrol was almost too much for you to process.

“You’re bruised, Peter. What happened?” You whispered as tears came to your eyes. “I know you weren’t on patrol last night.”

“Yes, I was.” He insisted but you couldn’t believe him. You knew who gave him those bruises.

“You’re lying to me.” You protested. “Since when do you lie to me?”

“I’m not lying. I was on patrol.” He repeated with desperation. His eyes pleaded with you to drop it but you just couldn’t. You coudk the stand by and let it happen.

“That’s bullshit and you know it.” You snapped and gently touched his black eye. You rubbed your thumb over the bruise as delicately as you could and thought back to Lorina’s red knuckles. Peter could see the wheels turning in your brain and white hit fear went through him.

“Did she do this?” You whispered and Peter flinched slightly.

“Who?” Peter pretended not to know what you were talking about.

“Lorina.”

Peters face told you everything you needed to know. For a minute, he was a different person. Your typically smart and strong best friend became a pale, submissive shell of a man at the mention of her name. It was like she was in the room with you, solentikg tormenting a defenseless Peter. You could see the fear in his eyes when you said her name and it confirmed your worst nightmare.

She was abusing him.

Peter let out a few shaky breaths as he composed himself before shaking his head.

“What? Are you crazy? Why would my girlfriend hit me?” He licked his dry lips and tried to think of a better excuse.

“For the same reason she had to go to her court ordered anger management classes. She obviously had a problem with violence, Peter.” You began to cry as Peter continued to defend his abuser. You drew your hands away from his face and ran to his bathroom, puking in toilet as the sickness in your stomach finally caught up to you. You wiped your mouth and went back to Peter, who was holding himself like a child trembling. You walked up to him and said nothing, only staring him down until he confessed.

“Lorina would never hit me.” He said quietly and turned away from you. Your blood heated up inside you and he continued to lie his way out of admitting what was really going on.

“Why are you protecting her?” You yelled and Peter wiped around with a rage behind his eyes.

“Because I don’t know what to do!” He screamed and his face contorted in misery as he began to sob. “I don’t know what to do.”

You watched your best friend break down before taking him into your arms. He cried on your shoulder as you stroked his hair, in tears yourself.

“Peter…” You mumbled and pressed a sorrowful kiss to his head. Peters body shook against yours as he let out the tears he had been holding in. He pulled away after a minute and you were able to wipe his tears with your hands.

“How long has this been going on?” You asked gently as you handed him a tissue.

“She smacked me a few weeks into our relationship and she swore it would never happen again.” He sniffled.

“But it did, didn’t it?”

“Almost everyday. She just gets so mad all the time.” His voice cracked and you pulled him into another hug. “It’s never even over something I did. If she got a bad grade or got yelled at by a teacher, she takes it out on me. What did I do wrong?”

You pulled away and held his face between your hands.

“You didn’t do anything wrong.” You assured him. “People like her don’t need a reason to be violent. They just are. This isn’t your fault.”

“It feels like it is.” He shrugged sadly. “If I was a better boyfriend-“

“Stop that.” You cut him off. “Don’t make excuses for her. She’s an abuser. There is nothing you did or didn’t do that made her hurt you. She would’ve done this regardless.”

“I just feel so stupid.” He whimpered. “She’s always so apologetic after she hits me, and I always forgive her. I keep believing her when she says it won’t happen again, and then it does happen again and I feel like an idiot.”

“You’re not an idiot. This is not your fault.” You swore. Peters bottom lip trembled as he searched your face, latching onto you for much needed comfort.

“I don’t know how to handle this.” He shook his head. “There’s no advice for men online. No one thinks we can be the victims too.”

“I’m so sorry, Peter. I believe you.” You pulled him down on the bed and held him close. He rested his head over your heartbeat and let you play with his hair. You couldn’t heal him, but you could remind him how it felt to be loved.

“Thank you.” He mumbled in appreciation as he leaned into your touch. He could already feel himself relaxing with you.

“Has she ever made you bleed?” You wondered as you untangled a knot in his curls.

“It’s rare, but it happened a few times.” He told you. “It’s strange; when it runs into your mouth, it’s almost…sweet.”

You didn’t know what to say, not trusting your voice to be steady if you tried to speak. It killed you that Peter has endured the abuse for so long and you felt almost ashamed for not realizing he needed help sooner.

“I could hurt her.” He said suddenly. “I could hurt her with half the force she uses against me. I know that.”

“But you don’t.”

“And I never would.” He confirmed.

“I’d never expect you too. It takes a big man to have the power you have and not fight back.” You looked down at him from your position. He gave you a sad smile before looking away.

“Then why do I feel so weak?” He asked timidly.

“You’re not weak. Shes just weighing you down.” You shook your head, angry at the thought of her. A silence settled in your room, the only sounds coming from your breathing.

“Why do you stay?” You asked suddenly. You couldn’t understand how a boy as smart as Peter could stay in a relationship that was so obviously toxic.

“There was this study that if you put frogs in boiling water, they’ll jump right out. But if you put a frog in warm water and slowly raise it to a boil, it’ll stay there until it dies. That’s what an abusive relationship is like.” Peter said slowly. “She slowly raised the temperature and now I’m…”

“Dying?” You finished his sentence for him and held him tighter. “I don’t want you to stay until you die. You deserve so much better.”

“Maybe I don’t deserve better. It’s not like over ever been given better. Maybe I’m getting exactly what I deserve.” Peter spoke softly, making you sit up. You climbed on top of him and pinned him to the mattress.

“Don’t say that, okay?” You demanded as your nose almost touched Peter’s. “That’s her talking. You have value that she can’t never take away. You deserve everything good in this world. I never want to hear you say that again.”

Peter breathed heavily as he looked up at you with a pink blush on his face. You became aware of your position and rolled off of him, laying next to him on the bed.

“Thanks.” He said breathlessly as you both stared at the ceiling.

“You’re welcome.” You rolled onto your side and looked at Peter. “I’m here for you, but we can’t fix this on our own. We need to tell an adult.”

“If I tell people, everyones gonna laugh at me for not fighting back.” Peter pointed out.

“No smart person would laugh at someone strong enough to take abuse this long.” You insisted. “You’re brave for not fighting back.”

“You think?” He smiled shyly at you. You smiled back and wrapped an arm around his torso.

“I know.”

You spotted Lorina the next day in the courtyard, face once again buried in her phone. The principle was busy calling her parents to let her know she was no longer welcomed back at Midtown Tech. She assured you and Peter that she would call the police as soon as she contacted Lorina’s parents, but you still wanted to take matters into your own hands. You wanted to give her a going away present before she left yours and Peters life forever.

“Hey, Lorina.” You walked up to her with a big smile.

“Oh, hi Y/n.” She said without looking up.

“Peter looked pretty beat up today.” You commented and leaned against the wall. She looked up from her phone with an annoyed expression and gave you a once over.

“Look, I don’t know what he told you but-“

“He didn’t tell me anything.” You cut her off and stepped closer to her. “Even covered in your bruises, he protected you. I just figured it out.”

“Couples fight. You wouldn’t know.” She sassed you and tried to go back to her phone. You pushed her phone down and stepped in front of her to gain her full attention.

“Couples fight with their words, not their fists.” You caged her between your arms and got in her face. “And from what I understand, your fights are always one sided.”

“It’s not my fault if he can’t be a man and defend himself.” She stepped up to you with a fire in her eyes.

“Peter would never hit you because he’s a boy. But guess what?” You asked as you cracked your knuckles.

“What?” She raised an unamused eyebrow.

“I’m not a boy.” You quipped before your first collided with her face.

I know it’s not always gonna end like this. You’re not always gonna get to punch your abuser in the face and walk free. I just hit 5k followers. That’s 5k people who need to be educated on this. I wanted to shed some light on this topic since I have a platform that allows me to. 1 in 4 men and 1 in 3 women will experience domestic abuse in some way in their lives. If you or someone you know is experiencing this, help is out there.

National Domestic Abuse Hotline: 1−800−799−7233

National Domestic Violence Hotline

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funkymbtifiction · 3 years

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hey, me again (the person you typed as SFP). Thanks for your respond. First of all; you are certainly right about me using fi-te, thats actually i am quiet sure about by now (even though i had some trouble seeing myself as a feeler at first because it is usually described that feelers are in general more empathic and i can assure you no person i know would ever use the word "empathic" to describe me)...

You sound like an NP in what you wrote here, yes.

Fi's appear stoic on the outside, but are a swarm of specific emotions on the inside. They are self-referencing; if something doesn't ignite an emotional response in them, they don't care and aren't particularly sympathetic from "the outside," hence why people call them "cold." But they are very easily insulted, if they're INFPs. Much more so than an ENFP, who will consider it through Ne/Te more often than Fi.

#question

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strrwbrrryjam · 3 years

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001 zukka, if youd like.

hi! okay, first ask, thank you for asking.

when I started shipping it if I did: ...im going to be completely honest, im new to atla, but not new to tumblr. i actually had a large tumblr that i made when i was fourteen that was dedicated to hetalia. but over the years i got bored of it, so i stopped updating it, i only looked at the blogs i followed and then one day, someone reblogged some zukka fanart, and i loved it. i knew nothing of the characters, but from the looks of each of them and how it followed the classic red-blue gays and representation that i craved as a young lesbian i decided to give it a watch, still in love with a ship i knew nothing about, so imagine my whiplash that i got when they were two people who weren't even friends until the final season, but i never got discoaurged because of all the tension and the parellels and how if either of them were female-male i definitely felt that zukka would be canon and have so much more hype.

my thoughts: im not the best at describing why i love them, but ill try. i love zukka for a lot of reasons, but mostly because... for me relationships are a partnership, you both get benefits from it where you can rely on eachother, where there is a mutual understanding between each other to the point where you know exactly what your lover needs to hear... and sometimes, no matter the mood your in, they are the only ones who can truly make you happy, and thats what i get from zukka. sokka is very much the older sibling, he goes so underappreciated for so long that when piandao tells him he should be proud of who he is and what he can do... he just doesn't believe him. now, this isnt the fault of katara, aang or anyone else, maybe a little bit hakodas fault i mean he literally left a kid with such high expectations of himself to protect the village by himself with what limited training that he had. even when they listen to his ideas, some of which are very much right but have failed to no fault of sokka like walking because appa is too noticable, katara or someone else pokes fun to these ideas for failing miserable, which they may mean in jest, but can still really hurt, so he needs someone to encourage him that sure, maybe this idea has failed, but its just a learning experience. zuko... my god he has trauma. zuko was this sweet and kind and passionate kid born into an environment where he didnt belong and he was abused for everything that he was. ursa while was a safe haven didnt do enough to protect him, as she too was powerless. his sister turned from this sweet and kind sister to someone who quickly realised that being that way makes it impossible to survive so she began to tease and taunt and turn into a mirror of their abuser. while id like to think lu ten was there for the both of them, iroh and lu ten where getting ready for the siege so they were rather busy... and azulon actively wished that ozai kill him, and ozai, fucking ozai man, is there anything else left to be said? once ursa left... everything when down and he was burned and banished for his wish to protect his people. iroh... for all my love of iroh, he doesnt understand zukos intentions or actions, he thinks hes lost his way but... he doesnt see that zuko doesnt want to hunt the avatar, he doesnt want to stay at the tea shop, what he wants is to be home. hes not safe in the watertribes, not safe in the earth kingdom and while he isnt truly safe at home, its his nostalgia(?) and how everything hes used to is at home, its where his mother memory lives... its where his the remnants of his past relationship with azula and where his baby sister is... its as safe as a home they could get. he knows people doesnt like him and he while isnt okay with it, nothing matters more than getting home. which isnt a good reason for his literally capturing of a twelve year olds, fourteen year old and fifteen year olds, but... it is for him, hes sixteen, still a kid, like the one hes chasing and he doesnt realize that the home he hopes for isnt what he thinks it is, at least not anymore. that his father doesnt love him, that his sister is no longer the sweet kid that she used to be and she too was abused, that his mum is no longer around anymore and he doesnt have a happy life or a happy family. he repeatedly doesnt listen to iroh because iroh doesnt get it. iroh grew up loved and cherished and praise while zuko doesnt, he grows up hated with no chance of change, he... is very much an asshole and doesnt listen to anyone, but hes trying in season 3. and then... the boiling rock happens. my god, its... like my favourite episodes. sokka feels like he has to go alone because he felt like he failed, its his responsiblity, it was his mistake despite the fact that it wasnt, that there were many, many adults who it the fault could fall onto, and the fact that the odds were stacked against them completely, but sokka being who he is, still feels responsible, but wants to go alone. except, zuko wont let him, he understands sokka, because thats what hes felt like his whole life. hes

always felt like a failure, not being able to protect his sister, not being able to protect himself so he knows what sokka is going to do, and, forces himself onto the journey. its awkward, at first, because of course it is i mean this is the guy who was chasing you for half a year and was inadvertidely responsible to two of your closest friends deaths/near-deaths. but once they get past this awkwardness, the banter very much starts when they land. and zuko. zuko who never asked for someones opinion, looks to sokka for guidance and listens and encourages sokka. for me boiling rock is peak sokka for how well he plans. sokka is able to express himself and talk and give advice and when his plan fails, zuko is there to help him through it and see it with a different perspective, and they just... the trust, its there. its already there despite how much it shouldnt be. it just works so well and then sokka defends zuko to hakoda and finally hakoda tells him what he should of and... its up from there. they are just there for each other and its... wonderful. they are both absolutely miserable people but... they make each other happy. it happens so fastly too and its just absolutely wonderful.

What makes me happy about them: honestly, i just wrote what makes me happy about them and how much i love them in the above question.

What makes me sad about them: god. how complicated it will be in the actual universe and how they will have to spend most of their lives seperate from each other. ive mentioned before that im a romantic at heart and it hurts, because despite how realistic it will be to have them seperated for most of their early religion, i mean... zuko will have to stay in the firenation despite how much it isnt home for him anymore and sokka is able to move from the southern watertribe to the northern air temple and to the firenation... so id like to think that when izumi comes around, the soon travel together, as by the time izumi is around, things are getting settled and zuko doesnt need such a close eye on everything.

things done in fanfic that annoys me: listen... i dont have anything that really annoys me, except when they play into babified(?) versions of each other, (zuko beng too soft-boy and sokka... being to "daddy" if thats the correct word.) but what bothers me is the lack of sokka-comfort, all of them have trauma. sokka, too. i love zuko. hes... just my favourite/comfort character and someone who i relate to so much, hes just... ive never related to someone more than zuko, but zukka is a more mutual relationship than anything, and i wish we had more fics dealing with sokkas trauma too.

things I look for in fanfic:

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: okay, okay, okay, for zuko, i have many, i just think zuko and sokka both have extreme pretty boy privilege, and while zuko doesnt realize the effortless charm and how pretty he is, sokka most definitely does and uses it to his advantage. so... maiko, jinko, (platonic/relationship) zutara, jetko and sukka. listen. i love yue and sokkas relationship, but they had such a short time together that i could never really ship them. i think sokka mourns her and it is very valid for doing so but i always felt that he mourned his friend and what their relationship could of grown into. also i am a diehard yueki fan.

My happily ever after for them: that they grow hold together, and are able to see their children, (yes, i said children, as in izumi, varrick and senna with trans!zuko) grow and change the world and have their own families.

who is the big spoon/little spoon: dude. dude i dont know. i want them both to be held. i want both little spoon zukka and big spoon zukka. weighted blanket zukka. all zukka sleeping positions. i like to think that like me the both of them cannot stay still while they sleep, they wake up in each others arms but end up at the foot of the bed or something.

what is their favorite non-sexual activity: god... everything, picnics, roadtrips, reading together, stargazing, sharing letters... just as long as they are their together everything is their favourite activity as they spent most of their youth and twenties and possibliy early thirties separate from each other.

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amazingphanisnotonfire-imagines · 4 years

Text

Sweet Pea//no matter what gets in my way

Request: May I please request a Sweet Pea x female reader that’s based off of the song ‘Come for You’ by Nickelback?

hey! before i start chatting at you all, just wanted to let you know about any trigger warnings, so: there’s mentions of therapy, childhood trauma (not in detail, its mainly sweet pea talking about growing up on the southside), emotions and a car accident (near the end) i hope you enjoy!!! have a great day/night!! also the plot of this is completely different to the meaning of the song/music video. just thought i’d let you know!

“This is quite possibly the stupidest thing I have ever been told to do. And I used to take orders from Jones on a daily basis.” Sweet Pea huffs, flopping onto your bed. A pout takes over his appearance as he stares up at the stars decorating the ceiling and you send him a sympathetic smile, despite the fact that he isn’t paying attention to you.

“I don’t think its that bad.” You drop your bag on the floor and lie next to him, nudging him with your elbow. He looks at you, the frown on his face somehow worsening, but when you smile at him, it flickers for just a second, the corners of his lips curling up a little.

“Really?”

“Well, yeah. You’ve been through a lot. There’s a lot of trauma tucked up in that big head of yours, and if your therapist thinks that you should maybe write down how you’re feeling, then maybe its worth a shot.” You shrug, not tearing your gaze away from the ceiling and he stares at you for a few seconds. His eyebrows furrow as he thinks about what you said. Maybe you were right?

Thats stupid, you’re always right.

“Why do you always have to be the logical one?” He huffs and you smile, turning on your side to face him. Stray hairs fall in front of your face and he tucks them behind your ear almost as soon as they fall.

“Because when I’m friends with you, someone has to be.”

“Yeah, fair.” The two of you laugh before a peaceful silence falls over the room. The sounds of traffic coming from the street below drifts through your open window and it makes Sweet Pea sit up quickly.

“I thought I said, don’t leave your window open when we’re out.”

“I forgot.” You roll your eyes, now joining him in staring out the window. A soft breeze causes the curtains to move gently and the sunlight streams in, casting your room in a golden glow.

“You won’t forget when we’re robbed.”

“We’re not gonna get robbed.” You huff and start to unpack your bag.

“Sure we’re not. This is New York City we’re talking about.” He watches you move around your small room, and he smiles to himself. It seems like the light follows you around, casting you in a constant shimmer.

“We’ve lived for two years and we haven’t been robbe-”

“Finish that sentence...I dare you.” He cuts you off, sending you a glare to which you just roll your eyes at. Sweet Pea is as threatening as a puppy to you and he knows it. But it doesn’t stop him from pulling his ridiculously adorable faces when he tries to be scary.

“Aww, you’re so cute.” You pat his head and his scowl falls into a pout. “See, adorable.” You pinch his cheek making him bat your hand away.

“You’re the worst.”

“I know.” You smile sweetly at him.

“I’m going to my room.” He huffs, clearly annoyed at how unaffected by him you are and his reaction only makes your smile widen.

“Are you going to write about your crush in your diary? Don’t worry I won’t peek.” You tease and he grumbles to himself while walking out. He’s just about to slam your door closed when you call after him again making him stop.

“Yeah?”

“I am really proud of you, you know?” You tell him honestly and his expression softens, a light blush dusting his cheeks as he looks down at the scuffed floor.

“For what?” He asks once he finally recovers from the unexpected compliment. To be honest, he doesn’t know what he expected. You always make sure to say something nice to him at least once a day, and he always tries to return the favour.

He’s just not as good as expressing his feelings as you. Thats probably another things he needs to discuss at his next session. But now he feels a little less stupid for writing in a diary if it means he gets better at talking to you.

“For how far you’ve come. When we were in High School you never would have thought about any of this stuff. But you are and I think thats great. So, as your best friend and number one supporter, I am so incredibly proud of you. So much so, that I got you a present.” You quickly run towards your dresser, digging through the top drawer before pulling out a wrapped present with a little bow on it.

He smiles as he takes it from you, looking at you one last time before quickly unwrapping it. “Whats this?”

“A notebook.” You reply teasingly and he rolls his eyes at you.

You’d bought it a few weeks ago because it had reminded you of Sweet Pea. You’d been waiting to use it, but when Sweet Pea had told you about what his therapist said, you realized that he would have much more important things to write in it than whatever you would eventually come up with.

“I mean, whats on it?”

“Ohh. Its a Sweet Pea. Seriously? Its your name and you don’t even know what they look like. You’ve gone through twenty years of your life and not even googled it once?”

“First of all, you know Sweet Pea isn’t actually my name. It’s-”

“Yes, yes. I know what you’re name is. I have been your friend for the past twenty years.” You interrupt, waving your arm at him and he grabs it, pushing it away from him. The two of you play fight for a few minutes before you eventually give in and he finally lets you out of the headlock he had you in.

You huff, smoothing your hair out and he chuckles, ruffling it back up when you’ve finished.

“I hate you.” You hit his arm and he feigns hurt. “We’ve been friends-

“Not long enough.” He interrupts, a bright grin on his face.

“Too long.” You grumble.

“Shut up.”

“Get out.”

“Gladly.” He smiles sarcastically and you flip him off.

“I am really proud of you though...seriously.” You say, and he stops in the doorway. He clutches the notebook to his chest and he glances at it, a soft smile on his face before turning around to face you, the usual smirk appearing.

“Yeah, yeah. Don’t go on about it.”

You just shake your head at him making him chuckles before actually leaving, still slamming the door behind him. Once he’s sat down, he reluctantly places the notebook on his bed, the pale pink flowers stand out against the light blue background and he takes a deep breath, grabbing a pen from his nightstand before opening the cover.

The pen hovers over the blank page. What the hell is he supposed to write about? His trauma? His feelings? And is so, what trauma? Which feelings? This was a stupid idea. But the he remembers how proud you were of him, and he looks at the cover of the book one last time, deciding that maybe this is something he needs to do. No matter how scary it feels. Plus, he’s done far worse things...a pen and a piece of paper can’t hurt him.

Dear Diary,

God, how old do I sound? Anyway, dear stupid diary? Well, now I sound even more ridiculous. My actual therapist and my unofficial therapist (y/n, remember her because she’s going to be mentioned a lot) recommended that i write how I feel down.

I don’t have to show anyone if I don’t want to and I don’t evem even have to read it myself. But apparently its supposed to help, so I suppose I’ll give it a go. Dr Smith told me that a good place to start is to write down why I think I’m in therapy. And to that I told her that there wasn’t a big enough notebook in the world. I suppose I’ll just have to write in tiny letters to cram everything in here because I want to keep this notebook for as long as possible. So time to be honest?

When you grew grow up on the southside, you learn to grow up a lot quicker than you should. You see a lot of shit that even adults shouldn’t be witnessing, let alone kids. Its like you’re always waiting for the clouds to lift from the darkness of the life you lead, but they never do. And by the time you get to like, 11, you’re more like a soldier than a kid. I’ve known how to fight for as long as I remember and I remember back then, before me and Y/n moved to New York, I felt like I was constantly a little wounded. I needed time to heal, but in Riverdale, on the southside, there is no time.

Oh, by the way Y/n is my best friend. We’ve been neighbors since we were born and we’ve been practically inseparable. Whatever memories I have of my life, good and bad, she’s always in them. And when we were younger we made a pact that when we gradated, we would leave Riverdale as soon as possible and go somewhere completely different. So we worked (some jobs more legal than others), and we saved up as much money as possible to get an apartment. That was two years ago and we still live in the same shitty apartment, but now its just more out of comfort than anything else. We like it here and we have some great memories here, so even though we probably could get a nicer place, we probably won’t.

Anyway. I try not to dwell on the past. I don’t succeed though. I suppose during school I had to just keep up appearance. I was in a gang, still am technically and I love the serpents. But its not the best environment to be around. Y/n is always talking about self love and stuff like that and to be honest, I always thought it was kind of just a girl thing. But then I went on twitter and learnt what toxic masculinity is, and with the help of Y/n, Toni and Fangs, I realized that its okay to feel the way I do. Its completely normal and I should get help for it. Which is now why I’m doing this.

So yeah, thats it. I mean thats not it, it. But you know what i mean. Well I suppose you don’t, you’re an inanimate object but whatever. Now how do I end this.

Bye? Bye

To his surprise, he actually feels a little bit better. Maybe this won’t be too bad. And maybe in a little bit, he’ll feel confident enough to show people. Who knows? Maybe writing is something he could actually be good at.

----

“You’re an ass.” You shout from your bed. What had started off as a good day has ended in the worst possible way.

You honestly don’t know how you got here. One minute you and Sweet Pea are talking about what to make for dinner, and the next thing, you’re screaming and shouting at each other while simultaneously pissing the neighbours off.

“I know!” He spits back and you narrow your eyes at him.

“Get out.” There’s no playfulness in your voice, not like usual. Its just filled with spite and it makes him feel a little sick. There’s only one other time that you’ve talked to him like that, and it was when he called your boyfriend at the time an self-centered dick. He wasn’t wrong, but that wasn’t the point.

You stopped talking to him for a week after that, but when he turned up at your trailer with flowers and Pop’s takeout, you forgave him instantly. Hugging him tightly and spending the rest of the night watching movies.

But now, neither of you know how you’ve ended up here so he doesn’t know how to make it up to you. So he does the next best thing.

“Gladly.” He scowls, slamming the door behind him. He hears a soft thud and knows instantly that you’ve thrown a cushion at him. “Real immature Y/n.”

“Get fucked.” You shout back and he huffs loudly before slamming his own door shut.

The bed shakes as he throws himself down on it and he burrows his face into the grey pillow. His hand reaches underneath it and his fingers brush against something cold. His eyebrows furrow in confusion as he pulls it out and all the anger that he was feeling disappears.

The blue catches his eye first, and then the green of the stem and then finally the pale, delicate petals. He hadn’t even thought of the notebook since he finished writing in it the first time. He sighs, his fingers tracing over the pattern, and he squeezes his eyes closed. His head drops back onto the pillow, not even bothering to move the diary from underneath his face and he moves his hand over to the cluttered night stand to find a pen.

Dear Diary

Hey, so I know I’m supposed to be talking about my feelings and my trauma and shit and i know I kind of forgot about you, but life got in the way and I don’t have time to write down all my stupid emotions in a arguably very pretty book.

Anyway. I fucked up. I upset Y/n and I don’t know how to make it better because I honestly don’t know how we started arguing in the first place. We’ve only ever had one huge argument like this, and after a week it ended. But this time it feels different. This time my chest is aching and my head is hurting. I have this weird feeling in my stomach and I really don’t know what to do. I figured if you’re supposed to be helping me...then help me.

I think she thinks I don’t care. That I’ve just dropped our friendship, and everything that comes along with it on the ground and then stomped on it over and over again.

So, who knows what I’m going to do. I think saying sorry might be the best place to start.

Hey, look at that. You did help...thanks I suppose.

Bye.

Sweet Pea doesn’t even bother closing the book, he just drops the pen in the middle of it and jumps up, kicking his leg out of the unmade duvet and stumbling out the door.

He hesitates outside of your room, wondering the best way to go around it. Should he just walk in like he usually does? Or should he knock?

“Y/n?”

“...what?” You sniffle and he looks at the floor, unsure of what to say next.

“Can I er-Can I come in?”

“That depends.”

“On?” He wonders.

“If you’re still gonna be an ass.” He can tell by just the tone of your voice that you’re a little less pissed than you were ten minutes, but only by a little bit. Like 5%, and he lets out a small chuckle before opening the door.

You’re sat on you bed, your legs tucked into your chest and when the door opens you send him a glare before dramatically looking in the opposite direction. He rolls his eyes but sits opposite you anyway.

“I’m sorry okay.”

Silence.

“Please Y/n.”

Still silence.

“Okay, fine. I’m sorry I was being an ass. I don’t even know what we were arguing about and it kinda just snowballed into one big fight. But if it makes you feel any better, the ten minutes I spent in my room I missed you. Like that JLS song, every seconds like an hour or something like that. Anyway the point is, I’m sorry and I missed you so much that I even wrote in my stupid diary. So there’s that. Now please can you forgive me because I hate fighting with you, you’re like the only person I don’t like fighting with...and I’ll buy us takeout to make up for it.”

“1. Its ‘every minute’s like an hour, every hour’s like a da-’

“I don’t need a full rendition.”

“And 2. You’re diary is not stupid and even though I also don’t like fighting with you either, I’m glad you wrote in it again...so yes, you’re forgiven. And I’m sorry too. I was also arguing with you.” You mumble reluctantly, trying to hide a smile and he smirks, poking at your cheeks teasingly. “Leave me alone.” You grumble, swatting his hand away.

“So, are we friends again?” He asks, his heart suddenly starts pounding, but you punching him in the arm distracts him from whatever medical problem he is currently experiencing.

“Yeah...dingus.”

“Aww, I love you too.” For some reason, both of you feel a blush spreading up your necks after he speaks and the two of you look away for a few seconds.

“So.” You break the slightly awkward tension. In the twenty years of friendship, you have literally never experienced any kind of awkwardness, but that was weird, for some reason those four specific words had some sort of effect on you both, and now you’re not entirely sure what to do. “What are we having for dinner?”

“Oh, I er. I dunno.” He shrugs. “Whatever you want...my treat.”

“Yeah, it better be.” You try to joke but it doesn’t really work. Instead the room feels weird. There seems to be some sort of tension lingering, but its not anger...so who knows what it is? All you know is that you need to both leave.

So you stand. Unfortunately he does the same and the two of you end up bumping into each other. His hands reach out to steady you, grabbing your shoulders and the two of you laugh, although its more forced than anything.

“I’m gonna go check the menu on the fridge”

“I need to pee.” He says at the same time.

“Oh.” You say, slightly surprised and he mentally curses himself. But he really doesn’t know why. He’s told you a lot worse about his bodily functions, and every time you also mutter a small ‘gross’, followed by a laugh. But this just feels icky. “Okay.”

He gestures for you to leave first, and you do gladly. That whole encounter was weird and you vow never to argue with him again if it makes you feel like that. All strange and awkward and unsure what to do with yourself while trying to calm your heartbeat down.

---

Dear...should I give you a name or is that weird? What could I call you? Who the hell knows? I’ll come back to that later. I’m feeling better. I think writing is this is actually working. Its only been two months, but I’m actually becoming a lot better at talking about my feelings and shit. Its like I was blindfolded (kinky) to being able to feel, but now I’m seeing. Talking is great! I’m still a little wary about talking about myself to just anyone, lets be real, anyone can be a snitch, or from another gang.

But I think I’m better at communicating my thoughts and emotions with the people I love like the most. I feel like before I was very close minded, not in like the usual way...because if you know me personally I’m very vocal about human rights and stuff...thats not the point. But I was very closed minded about my own emotions and how to deal with them. But now, thanks to Dr Smith and Y/n, I’m actually starting to believe in myself. Maybe this is how Y/n see’s me. Huh...she must think I’m great.

I know what it means to let someone in and I think I kind of like it. But that’s also where I have one small issue.

I know that I’m supposed to talk about my trauma and shit, but I’ve been doing this for like two months so I think I’m good now. Well, not good. But I need to talk about something else thats much more important than whatever is happening in my brain.

Its Y/n.

Now usually, if I had any issues involving her, I would talk to Toni and Fangs, but they just involved birthday presents and who is that dickwad talking her on a date? But I can’t talk to anyone about this problem, because I know exactly what Toni and Fangs will say. They’ll say its because we’re in love...we’re not.

Its just, ever since our fight. Things have been weird around here. We can barely be in the same room as one another for more than five minutes without one or both of us saying something incredibly stupid. And usually, I’m fine with losing friends, its just part of life. But I don’t want to lose her. I’ve been losing sleep over this. Every time I think about her not being here, my palms get sweaty and there’s like a heavy weight on my chest. It sucks.

Y/n has organized a movie night for us tonight. I think she can feel the tension too and I think its driving her just as mad. She always seems so unsure around me now, and despite how hard she tries, she is terrible at trying to hide it.

I don’t really know what to do and I know you can’t reply unless you’re something from Harry Potter, but I just thought if I wrote it down, I might get some ideas.

Spoilers...I didn’t.

“Sweet Pea!” You’re yelling makes him jump and slam the book closed, despite you being nowhere near him.

“Coming!” He replies, quickly scribbling the end of his stream of thoughts before closing the book again and throwing in under his bed.

Gotta go...byeeeee

“Hey.” You’re already sat on the sofa by the time he leaves his room. The film is set up, waiting for one of you to press play and two pizza’s are sat on the coffee table.

He smiles as he sits down on the other end of the couch, remembering all the other movie nights you guys have had. He enjoyed the ones back home when it was all four of you. But some of his favourites have been with just you. The film is usually forgotten about half way through, and you just spend the rest of the night talking and laughing and playing stupid games, before falling asleep on top of each other at like 5am.

But as he looks over at you, staring straight at the tv, his chest aches. Usually you would end up sitting as close to each other as possible, but now, you’re both sat as far away as you can be.

He can’t remember the last time you laughed at something he said, or you told him a stupid story from work. It feels like you’re just two strangers living as roommates instead of two best friends.

“Do you want me to press play?” You wonder and he nods. The opening titles play, casting the room in a soft glow and Sweet Pea watches you silently while shadows flicker across your face. “What?” You say suddenly, locking eyes with him.

“I-er. Nothing.” He stumbles and you send him a look.

“Okay.” You reply. You don’t believe him, but you give him the benefit of the doubt anyway, and start watching the film again.

You really don’t know what you were expecting to get from this night but you have a feeling you’re not going to get it. Things have been awkward for over a month now. And its the worst. You feel a little lost without him to be honest. You used to spend all your time together, but now you can’t remember the last time you spent more than five minutes together without one of you making up some excuse to leave.

You miss him, and you miss how you used to be and you have no idea how to get back to the point...if you can.

Its the first time in twenty years that you’ve actually seen a film all the way through. And its torture. The closing credits play, and you stretch before standing.

“Do you want anything?” You look down and him but he just shrugs before unlocking his phone.

“Hey, if you ever get lost in the middle of the woods with a creepy ghost lady trying to track you down and tear you limb from limb. I’d search forever for you and then I’d bring you home...possessed or not.” You stop on your way to the kitchen, a small smile appearing on your face as you see a flicker of how you used to be.

”Awww...you’re so sweet.” You smile sweetly at him and he feels a blush creep up his cheeks, although, he’s not really sure why.

“I know.” He says smugly making you roll your eyes.

Its silent. So very silent.

What do people say to each other?

How do you have a conversation?

“Well, goodnight.” You both say at the same time. You quickly shut your bedroom door behind you and Sweet Pea goes to his room. You slide down the door, your head falling into your hands while you squeeze your eyes shut.

He does the same in his own room and both of you wonder the same thing

what the hell happened?

----

List of diary names:

- Doris

- Petunia

- Harry

- Louis

- Liam

- Niall

- Z

Wait, hold on a minute somebody’s calling me. Who calls anymore? And why am I telling you this, you’re a diary? Whatever...oh shit, I’m gonna mis

“Hello?” He answers lazily, barely pulling his attention from the tv playing some cheesy sitcom. His notebook lies closed on his lap, and his fingers trace over the pattern as he waits for a reply.

“Hello. Is this a, er...Sweet Pea?” A woman asks, there’s a hint of confusion in her tone and he rolls his eyes.

“Yep.”

“Hi. This is Dr Floyd from the New York City Hospital. You’re listed as Y/n Y/l/n’s emergency contact.” He sits up quickly, almost dropping the phone and his eyes widen. The TV, his diary, the rest of the world is completely forgotten.

“Is she okay?” He swears he can heart his heartbeat in his ears while he waits for a reply.

The Dr takes far too long to respond. The few seconds seem to drag on for days while he waits to hear if you’re okay. Its already felt like you’re not around anymore, but what if you are really not going to be hear anymore.

He doesn’t even want to think about that, his chest tightening and he has to hold back a sob.

“She has been brought in after a car collision. She was crossing the street when a car hit her. I just want-”

“I’m on my way.” He’s already replied and hung up before she can finish her sentence, grabbing his keys and jacket before running out the front door.

He doesn’t think he’s ever ran so fast or so far and by the time he makes it to the hospital, he’s sure he looks like he should be in one of the wards. But it doesn’t matter when he finds you. Your eyes are closed and you look so peaceful in your bed.

The room is a bright white, with faded green furniture that hasn’t been updated since the 70′s are dotted across the room. A blanket covering your body, a green chair with an awful pattern by your bedside, green curtains that are more sun damage than fabric.

“Shit? Are you dead.” He mumbles, more to himself than to you as he cautiously walks through the door.

“Nah, just lying down. Whats up?” You ask, opening an eye to look at him.

“Whats up? Seriously I have just ran to the hospital because I got a call saying you’d been hit by a car. And you ask me whats up?” He huffs, sitting in the chair.

“Yeah...so whats up?”

“Nothing much.” He shrugs before realizing where he is again. “Actually a lot is up. You’re body in the air is whats up from what I heard.”

“You are so dramatic. You always have been. Its just a mild concussion and a few cuts and bruises. I’m fine.”

“Are you sure.” He looks you up and down, his eyes scanning every part of you, looking out for something the doctors might of missed. When he’s sure you’re okay, he lets his gaze rest on your scratched and bruised face and he lets out a deep sigh.

Despite the bruises blooming on your cheeks, you still look as pretty as usual and his eyes widen as that thought dawns on him.

“What? Are you okay?” You ask, now worried as you try and sit up, but he’s quickly pushing you back down.

“I er. I’m fine.” He stutters. “I think I just realized something.” He admits, a deep blush spreading across his cheeks while he looks at the scratchy blanket covering you...shit.

“Pea?” You ask, your voice quiet. He’s never heard you so unsure of something before. Almost like you’re scared to know the answer to your question. “Are we okay now?”

“What do you mean?” He forces the words out. He knows exactly what you mean. But now he thinks he’s figured out what’s been wrong the whole time. You may have been scared to hear the answer to your question, but he is absolutely terrified to answer it himself.

Its been so obvious but he’s been so oblivious. Toni and Fangs were right. Or at least half right. He’s in love with you. And that makes his heart race, but for good or bad reasons, he doesn’t know.

“Its just. When I saw that car I thought I was going to die. And I remembered us and how we aren’t as close as we were and I realized, that if I was going to die, my biggest regret would be not making things with us right again. I don’t know whats happened over these past few months that have made us not know how to act like human beings around each other. But I know I want it to stop. I miss you Pea. And I don’t ever want to feel that alone ever again...in my bedroom or by the side of the road.” You admit, your eyes trained on the blanket while your fingers play with the frayed edges.

He slumps in the chair, letting out a long breath while your words settle in.

“Did you really think you were going to die?” He asks after a few seconds and you look at him surprised.

“Yeah. One minute I’m crossing an empty road and then all I heard was a high pitched screech and then this car was coming towards me.” You say shakily and he grabs your hand, giving it a tight squeeze. “The thing is though. For a spilt second I made eye contact withe the driver and she looked almost as scared as I did.” You laugh humorously and he sends you a sympathetic smile. “When I was lying on the pavement. I was looking up at everyone panicking around me, and all I thought about was you and how you weren’t there. And how if I died, I never would have got to say goo-” You’re cut off by your own sobs and he quickly wraps his arms around you. His chin resting on your head while he cries his own silent tears.

“Its okay.” He whispers. “You’re okay now. We’re okay.”

“I’m glad.” You give him a teary smile once he lets go, and you notice him wiping his own tears away. You grab his hand again and squeeze it reassuringly. The gesture makes his cheeks heat up a little and he has to look away for a little bit until they go back to normal. “Hey.” You start, wanting to distract the two of you. “How many cars do you think you could take on?”

“Me?” He raises an eyebrow. “A solid ten. If not more. And I’d fight any that tried to get to you too.”

“You’re so sweet.” You giggle.

“I know.” He smirks.

“I keep meaning to ask, how’s your diary going? Have you doodled your crushes name in hearts yet?” You tease making him roll his eyes.

“Shut up.” He mumbles.

“Hmm...nah.”

“Its going good. I’m kinda worried though.”

“About?” You wonder.

“What if I’m too good at expressing my emotions.” He asks seriously and you have to stifle a laugh.

“How can you be too good at that?”

“I could just constantly tell people what I’m feeling. Or, I could use really big, fancy words to emote...see, I did it then. And then I just come off as pretentious.” He rambles and it takes everything in your power to keep a straight face.

“Yeah, I don’t think you have to worry about that.”

“Oh yeah? Try this.” He clears his throat. “Y/n. I’d crawl across this world for you.” He tries to say it seriously, but the two of you end up laughing loudly, and he thinks to himself that maybe this won’t be so bad. Maybe he can keep being your friend, even if he is in love with you. Plus, he’d rather keep being your friend and just admire you afar, than lose you forever. “I’m in love with you.” He blurts out and his eyes widen.

“What?” You look at him, your expression mirroring his and he quickly starts backtracking.

“I mean. I love you as a friend. I’m not in love with you. That would be ridiculous. Sorry.”

“Is that why everything has been so weird between us?” You ask and he nods slowly.

“I think so. But I’ve only just actually realized like ten minutes ago.”

“Thats okay.” You laugh. “I only realized when I was lying on the ground wishing to see your face.”

“You mean...you love me too?”

“I think so.” You nod. “Although, it could just be the concussion.” You shrug and he punches your arm lightly.

“I’ll take take.” He smiles. “So, when you’re feeling better, do you want to have a movie and pizza night, but like, as a date?”

“I’d love to.” You beam, and press a soft kiss to his cheek.

“Hey Y/n?”

“Yeah?”

“I have so much to write in Harry!”

“Who the hell is Harry?”

“...my diary.”

“...okay?”

#sweet pea #sweet pea imagine #sweet pea x reader #sweet pea x you #sweet pea x y/n #riverdale #riverdale imagine

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yurtletheturtlehenderson · 4 years

Text

S.T. REWRITE - S2:E8; Chapter Eight, The Mind Flayer - [Pt. 6 - FINAL PART]

A Will Byers x Reader Series

An unlikely hero steps forward when a deadly development puts the Hawkins Lab on lockdown, trapping Will and several others inside.

A/n: we're so close to season 3 you have no idea how excited I am 😭 will and you are ADORABLE in s3. Enjoy a sprinkle of Byler in this ch. for now, sorry it couldn't be more 😂

Oo also, the pov flashbacks are kinda terrible but its kind of on purpose depending how old they're supposed to be. The younger they're supposed to be the more straightforward if that makes sense

Warnings: so much angst ahead, oof, my goodness. Buckle up kids :> this is a quite ambitious chapter but hopefully I handled it okay. Possibly the longest chapter in Cosmic history?? I think??

||Will's POV||

The vulgar smell of chemicals lingers in my nose and sticks to the back of my throat as my eyes adjust to the blinding light.

Immediately I feel his icy presence, and felt myself losing control and all sense of self in a matter of seconds.

But I was still moving, squirming, but I'm not the one commanding my body.

Shit, not again!

This has been happening on and off since he got me, he goes silent until he needs me. But lately, it's all the time. Usually I stand a fighging chance to break free but this time he's in full control. I want to scream and cry, tell my mom I'm here, I'm here! But he won't let me. I'm still trapped in this small corner of my mind, and the longer he stays the smaller the prison gets.

There are four(?) figures looking at me, but it's hard to make out their faces at first. Mom! Mom is here, she'll help me, I know it. And... Jonathan!

Help me! I'm so sorry! I couldn't control it, he made me! He made me!

They don't hear me, everytime I try to speak, yell, cry or do anything, he won't let me. It's been like that since I was admitted. Since the fire in the tunnels.

Just thinking about the pain makes him angry, I can sense it.

I recognize another face, the man they asked me to identify but couldn't. I know I know him. I know I can trust him. But the fog... Ever since the monster got me, a fog has been spreading in my brain, making me forget things. People.

The man, Hopper, I think his name is, steps towards me with a look of concern. He's cautious of me, I can tell. Not that I blame him, but again it makes me want to cry, even though I'm not in control. But I still feel the pain, like the sting in my wrists and ankles as he fights against the restraints.

It's then I fully process I'm actually tied up. I don't have time to react before I hear my own voice speaking without my permission.

"What? What?" I watch as passenger in my own body as he makes me look around the room and down at the restraints. "What is this?"

Nobody answers, and I'm beginning to grow fearful myself. I know they wouldn't hurt me, but they might have to. In order to get him out. And I'm worried about how they plan on doing that.

"What? What is this?" He repeats.

Again, nobody answers, and he fights harder against the restraints hurting me more.

"Why am I tied up?"

Mom steps out from the shadows and I calm a bit, the real me, anyway. She kneels down in front of me, looking up at me seriously.

"Will, we just want to talk to you." She says.

I'm here! I want to talk too, Mom, please hear me.

"We're not gonna hurt you." She says gently.

I know Mom, please just tell me what's going on!

My head rips up, making me look at everyone in the room frantically. There's still one figure I can't quite make out, but he doesn't seem to care about them.

"Where am I?" He demands.

The man kneels down next to me, and I can feel the monster's anger and agitation. He's threatened.

The man holds up a piece of paper, a drawing. I recognize at once that this is something else the fog has touched. I know it, and it must be something I made. Fear takes over me; my own, real fear of the monster that was now apart of me, but I also feel his fear. All I know is the drawing upsets him, and he knows something I don't.

"Recognize this?" Hopper asks, and the shadow monster shakes my head. "Do you recognize this?"

My head shakes again, and I barely hear a soft 'no' come from my lips.

I'm now looking at Mom again, she's staring deep into my eyes. My body isn't mine anymore, but I swear when she looks at me, she's looking at me. Like she knows not only that I'm trapped and that this is not me talking, moving, answering, but she knows exactly where I am. She's looking at my real self that's trapped in this small corner in the back of my mind and I'm certain I'd be crying if I could.

"We wanna help you," She says to me. "But to do that, we have to understand how to kill it."

Oh no.

His anger explodes in an instant, so bright and so intense that even I find myself feeling annoyed. But I remind myself that it's not my anger. I want to help. I want to tell them, but I still can't. Instead, my voice comes out in a hostile shout that makes my mom jump.

"Why am I tied up?" They both try to calm me, calm him. But it doesn't work. "Why am I tied up? Why am I tied up?"

Mom shakes her head, and it's clear to see how uncomfortable she is growing. I just wish she knew for sure this isn't me yelling at her.

He continues shouting the same thing, and I can feel my throat start to sting and ache from screaming.

"Why am I tied up?! Why am I tied up?!" Hopper pushes me back, and my wrists and ankles and even chest begin to sting as he fights against the wires again. "WHY AM I TIED UP?! WHY AM I TIED UP?!"

The lights begin to flicker and my body continues to kick and scream but not the words I wanted to scream. It's just the same question, and he won't stop growing louder. I see the figures, Jonathan and Mike...! But they're scared of me. They're backing away, and Mike briefly looks down at his hand and behind the post. The figure had grabbed his hand, but I still can't quite make them out.

I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!

"WHY AM I TIED UP?!" He screams, now fighting hard against Hopper's hands which are now trying to pin me back. And the more he screams, the deeper my voice goes and I swear it sounds less and less like my own voice. "LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO!"

Please... Please, somebody help me.

"LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO!"

Hopper now has his arms wrapped around me, and I know it's out of restraint but it's also gentle and sympathetic like a hug. He knows I wouldn't do this, I can tell because he holds me tight and I even hear him mumble encouraging things trying to calm me.

My mom does the same, but I can feel the furious look welded to my face as he screams at her, and yet she still tries to comfort me.

"-sweetie,"

"LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO!"

"-honey, it's okay."

"LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO!"

Let me go! Leave me and family alone! Go away!

I know it must hear me, but since I am no longer in control all I can do is try to fight it. It's hard, but I don't give up.

Stop it! Just stop it!

I focus as much as I can, as much as I can muster. All I can focus on is the hurt and fear in everyone's eyes. Mike's, Jonathan's, and my moms. Hers hurts the most.

Suddenly I feel my body start to weaken, and my voice starts to lower in volume. But I still feel helpless no matter how hard I fight.

He's angry with me now.

"Let me go! Let me go!"

The shift in Mom's eyes keeps me going. She can tell I'm fighting, but I don't think she knows I can't hold out much longer.

Mom, please...

"Let me go! Let me go! Let me go! Let me go..."

My breath is harder and harder to find, and my shoulders heave as my lungs fight for breath. But I can feel it; I slowed him down.

"Go..." he mumbles weakly.

The lights stop flickering and Hopper lets me go. Mom stands briefly to sit across from me on the chair. She watches me carefully, and I can feel the tiniest bit of relent from him.

"Do you know what March 22nd is?" She asks calmly.

He's trying to figure out what to do, he's calculating. And he must be pushing back because I realize that that day sounds familiar. But the way she talks it seems like I should know.

"It's your birthday,"

The fog is coming for me. I can't remember my own birthday, and I've already forgotten other things about myself. Maybe if I keep talking to him?

Please, just let me go!

He wants me gone completely, and already I feel myself slipping back out of whatever control I had. He's winning.

Go away! Please, just go away. Go away... Go away... Go away.

But that's when she sees me again, she looks directly at the real me thats trapped and fighting for my life.

"Your birthday."

All I can do is listen to her, cling to her voice as the fog closes in on me. But I feel it start to slow when she continues, her voice as soft as ever.

"When you turned eight, I gave you that huge box of crayons. Do you remember that?"

Mom smiles a bit as she thinks about it, and I feel a single grain of strength returns to me. I can almost picture the lost memory, it comes back in small details, like a blurred home video with lots of static.

"It was 120 colors," she says, and I can see tears building up in her eyes. "And all your friends, they got you Star Wars toys, but all you wanted to do was draw with all your new colors."

Her smile grew a bit, not once looking away from me and I noticed an overwhelming gleam of pride. But still, I listen completely hooked on her every word. And I don't know if it is because of me, or what, but it almost feels like he's stopped too.

"And you drew this big spaceship, but it wasn't from a movie." She shook her head, gleaming at me still even if her voice began to break. "I-I-It was your spaceship."

Rainbow ship...!

"A rainbow ship is what you called it," her bottom lip began to shake before she smiled brightly once more as she spoke. "A-and you must have used every color in the box. I took that with me to Melvald's and I put it up and I told everyone who came in, 'My son drew this,'"

'Mom! Come on, it's not funny! Just take it down!'

'Honey, how are people supposed to know how great this is if I don't show them?' She asks.

'Mo~m!'

"And you were so embarrassed," she chuckles.

I'm remembering... Mom, I remember! I'm remembering!

But she still can't hear me, I'm still not in control. But he's listening. He's quiet.

"But I was so proud," Mom leans forward looking deep into my eyes. "I was so, so proud."

Mom...

She's fighting back tears now and I hate now more than ever I can't speak my own thoughts.

Mom, please! Keep talking, it's working. Just please keep talking...

Another voice speaks instead.

"Do you remember the day Dad left?"

My head whips up to see Jonathan, and for a moment I don't even know who was in control. I can feel it working, clinging to the stories they are telling me. They feel like home even if I don't remember.

It hurts to see his eyes are watering, and he looks just as worried and sad as Mom.

Like the crayon story I try and search for the memory. I feel as if I'm reaching around in the darkness, trying to find any kind of detail that might help me remember. And he doesn't get mad at me when I don't respond.

He walked towards me instead, and kneels down beside me.

"We stayed up all night building Castle Byers..."

I can feel that my face has softened over time, but still all I can do is listen. He's watching Jonathan, and I can feel his silence. Not his absence, he's still there inside me but it's like he's trying to make sense of what these moments are and why they're affecting me. Regardless, moments of that night came flooding back to me.

'I'm trying, Jonathan!' I whine, stopping to hit the ground with the hammer out of frustration before dropping it all together. "It's this stupid thing, it's balance must be off or something.

'Don't blame the hammer, Will,' Jonathan jokes dryly, not even looking at me.

I drop the hammer in frustration, I practically threw it and I begin to sniffle.

'Well, I do! This stupid hammer isn't doing the one thing it's suppose to do. How are we supposed to make Castle Byers if he's not helping?'

I go quiet, realizing what I had just said. I look to Jonathan shyly, and he's already stopped his hammer to look at me.

'We tried, Jonathan,' I mumble, sniffling. 'but it's no use. Let's just go home.'

'Go home?' He asks. 'No way! We said we were going to build Castle Byers, we always said we would. And we are. With or without Dad. He'll just have to miss out,'

"just like you drew it." Jonathan tells me, his face scrunching up a bit as he chuckles. "And it took so long because you were so bad at hammering."

But you were still patient with me. You helped me get through it even though you were going through the same thing... And I never thanked you for that.

I feel my mouth begin to twitch as I try to say the words, but nothing comes out. It was working, it was almost working! But I don't think he can tell...

"And then it started raining, but we stayed out there anyway." Like Mom, his voice started to crack. "And we were both sick for like a week after that."

You let me stay in your room and we played cards and other games while we were stuck in bed.

"But we just had to finish it, didn't we?"

Suddenly, I felt my fingers tap the sides of the chair. But, it was me! I think it was me!

"We just had to." Jonathan repeated, his voice still breaking.

Jonathan, Mom, anyone! Is anyone seeing its working?

"Do you remember the first day that we met?"

It was Mike speaking now, and my head turned to meet him. Again! I can't quite be sure if it was really my doing but any question of it went out the window when I saw his expression. He had stepped forward, and I noticed he was crying.

"It was... It was the first day of kindergarten." He spoke with a big lump in his throat. "I knew nobody."

A swingset... I remember a swingset...

"I had no friends and..." he sniffled. "I just felt so alone and so scared, but..."

He looked up at me, and for a brief moment it was the same look from that day. The details were still fuzzy but, that look I recognized. Sad but hopeful.

"I saw you on the swings and you were alone, too." He fought a hiccup as he spoke, the kind from crying and another tear rolled down his cheek. "You were just swinging by yourself. And I just walked up to you and... I asked."

'Hi, um, my name's Mike...'

He was looking at me, and he kept shuffling on his feet. He looked a lot more nervous than mean. I look up at him, and decide giving my name wouldn't hurt.

"I'm Will," I whisper.

"I asked if you wanted to be my friend." He chokes. "And you said yes..."

"Do... Do you wanna be my friend?"

Everyone else was picking on me for not knowing anyone. But he wants to be my friend!

I smile, pointing to the open swing next to me. "Yeah! Wanna play?"

Mike smiled at me, and took the seat. He looked pretty happy. But I am too!

"You said yes," he croaks. "It was the best thing I've ever done."

I can feel my face start to break, every twitch is a sign I'm gaining control even though my fingers are still moving as well. With all the strength I can gather, I'm able to turn my head at Mom. Fighting against him feels like I'm swimming up stream.

Mom, please get me out. I think I'm losing...

For once I feel hopeful that she notices something when she starts searching my eyes, my expressions and I'm still fighting. I have to fight for every muscle, and doing that feels like every one of them is made of lead.

Mom must have caught something in my eyes cause of the look in hers. But it's too late. I can feel him pushing back again.

No! Leave. Me. Alone! Leave me alone. I want my mom! I just want my mom!

I feel an overwhelming chill and I feel my body temperature drop again, not even realizing it had started to creep up again. The fog was coming back, and quicker and stronger than ever until I could barely hold on.

Then I hear my voice again.

"Let me go."

No! No, stop! STOP!

But then Mom looks away and down at the floor, sighing, and I feel whatever crumb of hope I had dissapear.

What? No, Mom, look. Just please look! Talk to me, stay with me, just please don't leave!

She looks like she's contemplating something, and then she looks up at Mike asking a question with her eyes. I can't imagine what, but Mike seems to understand. Then, they both look past the post at the figure I had never made out.

"Sweetie, why don't you come say hi?" My mom croaks to the stranger.

My head moves to look all around the room and allowing me to look at the others expressions. They all watch expectantly, and when my eyes land on Mike's he nods at the figure.

My body tenses suddenly but I don't know why. He seems to though, and it feels like another wave of ice is pumped into my bloodstream.

For a moment, there's the sound of shuffling footsteps and I barely detect movement. Like they're inching away from the hiding spot.

Then she steps out from behind the thick sheet of white light wearing a timid, tearstreaked face.

Y/n! You're here!

The one blissful movement I have vanishes in an instant when he takes full control once more. My muscles tighten and I feel my jaw clench shut, and the pain of the wires against my skin comes back as he starts moving me again. My face curls and I hear my voice saying such bad things to her.

"Get out!" She winces, but this time she doesn't listen to him. "GO AWAY!"

"No," she states, but I can tell it's hard for her. "not until I talk to Will."

"GO AWAY! GO AWAY! GO AWAY!"

"-Will" my mom tries.

My body starts to move again, fighting against the restraints and Hopper has to pin me back again.

I can feel his anger again. But there was something else too. The same thing I felt the first time he took total control.

Fear.

Y/n, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, I'm trying. I'm fighting! I don't mean it, I don't mean it!

He still fights and kicks, but the longer I see her the less I care about the pain on my ankles and wrists. It's the look on her face, she's heartbroken. She looks destroyed. Just as upset as she was that night, and guilt pulls me back down. My strength for fighting him diminishes, but what stops it from dissapearing altogether is the fact she hasn't moved.

All she had done was take the seat across from me. And just... waited.

He kicked and screamed until I felt my limbs grow tired, but still she waited. Once again since I woke up, I'm happy that Hopper was here to hold me back so I didn't break free.

How are you not leaving? After all I did?

Finally, he starts to stop, and thats when I feel Hopper's hand slowly release me. And even though he stopped, the menacing glare he gave her never weakened.

"Will," she says finally. "I know... I know you're in there."

Like Mike, her voice is already strained as she speaks through her tears. Even her nose sounds a bit clogged and I feel my heart break and stomach sink all over again. How hard I was making her cry.

She sniffles, and she begins wringing her hands revealing her nerves. Then she raises them in defense, her arms still glued to her legs as she leans on them.

"I'm just here to talk, I promise."

I know, Y/n. I trust you. I really hope you know that.

He doesn't agree though, he's furious she's even here. Every nerve is standing on edge and I feel colder than ever.

Leave her alone!

I feel my nerves jump, he's still anxious to get away from her.

"What about the day I officially joined the party? Do you remember that?"

My heart is pounding violently against my ribcage almost to a point it hurts to breathe. She's looking into my eyes, likes she's trying to find me. I think she actually is. Just like what happened with the others, the picture is hard to find. It's all just too fuzzy. The small part of me that's left can tell Y/n knows my answer, and that she's dissapointed. But she still doesn't appear mad at me, even though she has every reason to be.

"It was around fifth grade," she began, "You guys had been friends with Dustin for almost a year, and even though everyone saw, and treated me as Dustin's sister... you didn't."

She paused for a moment, trying to keep her sobs in. I could tell by the way her jaw clenched and she bit the inside of her cheek. My own throat began to swell as I felt an enormous lump growing in the back. I hate seeing her so sad, and I hate even more that I'm the reason. She began shaking her head.

"Sometime during spring vacation, I remember Dustin coming up to me all cranky" she chuckled, and looked down at the floor lost in the memory. I waited for her to continue, wanting nothing more than to soak up the missing details when she smiled. "He had just come home from playing with you guys at Mikes, and he was holding a small yellow card with my name on it,"

Y/n grinned, looking at her hands wistfully as if she could still see the card in her hands.

And then she looks up at me, with a wide, trembling smile but there were still tears in her eyes.

"It was an invitation to your birthday party,"

The thick layer of static over the memory flickered, and for a brief second the image was clear and I could make out one thing. Just a small moment in time.

Y/n, she looked a lot younger. She was standing in my backyard. But she was off to the side, all alone. She was watching Lucas and Dustin bobbing for apples in a big pool.

"From you. You had insisted I come and you knew Dustin couldn't say no," she laughs.

"I was so excited, but," she sniffled, her smile falling. "even Lucas and Mike didn't bother to include me, they all forgot I was there and for a moment I thought nothing would change. But... then you came up to me, smiling all nervously, but without skipping a beat you asked me. You asked if I wanted to do something else."

"It was so casual, too. We weren't even proper friends yet, and it was your birthday party, but you knew something was wrong, and you asked me how I could feel more included."

Y/n shakes her head, seeming disbelieving.

"We talked for a bit, and then you offered to show me Castle Byers. 'It's just over the hill,' you told me. So we went - and figures, the guys never realized we were gone - but I thought it was, just, the best thing. We played in there for a few minutes, these toy cars were all you had in there at the time,"

She chuckled, and held up her hands to demonstrate something of size.

"I remember you had this Tonka Truck, it was just smaller than a toaster and you let me play with it. You said it always cheered you up, and maybe it would help me, too. You even let me keep it at the end of the day, cause you saw how happy I was, even though the truck wasn't what me so happy."

I could feel my face twitching again, my fingers drumming against the chair numbingly. And then I felt a single hot tear slide down my cheek, and his discomfort grew.

"But you told me something in Castle Byers that day, something I don't think I'll ever forget, even if I wanted to..." she was crying again. "You told me, that we could go talk to the others and convince them to let me join, that I could be your guys' friend... I asked you why you were being so nice to me, why you wanted me to apart of your group,"

A small sob came out in the form of a chuckle, and she wiped a tear off her cheek.

"And you told me it was because that was your birthday wish."

The room was dead silent again, and I could hear sniffles coming not only from Y/n, but Mom and Jonathan, too.

"Sure enough, we were all the best of friends just days later. We were building forts, playing cards, I think we even got our walkies a few months later and stayed up all night leraning morse code... You helped me make that happen, Will. And I'll always be greatful for that."

Another tear slips down my cheek, but I feel my face is as still as stone. The next thing I feel is his icy grip pulling me back down, and this time I know in my gut it's for good. In once desperate attempt, I scream for my muscles - my arms, legs, head, anything to see if I can move. And that's when I realize, my fingers are still wiggling. I don't think he can tell. I don't think he knows.

He's too focused on her! I just need them to look. I can get a message out. My fingers tap just a little louder as I try to remember the right combination.

Right. Here.

As I focus all my energy into the message, I hear her broken voice speak again.

Right. Here.

Here.

"Will, if-if you're in there," she looks around at eveyone else in the room and back to me. "Please, just talk to us. Say anything, just please help us help you."

Right. Here.

The fog grows, stretching farther over me and chilling my body.

Right. Here.

Come on, hurry up. Anyone!

Here.

Am I remembering it wrong?

Here.

Hopper jumps up abruptly, glancing quickly across the room, and back once more at me. Suddenly, his hand dives into his pocket to fish something out.

Here.

He pulls out a vial - or is a needle? - I can't quite make it out in the light but I see him uncap whatever it is, walking towards me.

Here.

It plunges into my arm and before I know it I feel myself growing sleepy. The last thing I feel is cold fear and the feel my fingers slowing growing sluggish against the cardboard until it stops altogether.

Here...

||3rd Person POV||

Will awakes once more, attempting to process the many things flooding his senses. The return of the chemicals in his nostrils and throat, the blinding white light blocking his vision, and the feeling of being watched. But this time, he does not wake to a dead silent room, but a string of all too familiar music floods his ears.

The first notes of Should I Stay or Should I Go explode through the quiet air, and strangely enough for Will, everyone inside with him has dawned an all new demeanor. They aren't weary anymore, rather they are determined. Jonthan is the first to take a seat across from his brother, an expecting look in his eyes.

"Do you remember the first time I played you this?"

Will's body sits completely still, a lost look in his eyes.

"Mom and Dad were both arguing in the next room," Jonathan continues. "So I played you the mix tape I made you. And it was the first time you got into music. Real music."

Steadily, his fingers begin to tap a new pattern all unbeknownst to the Mind Flayer who watches his captors studiously. Particularly the young Henderson girl lingering in the corner awaiting her turn.

All the while, Hopper stands behind the Byers boy, walkie behind his back as he echoes the boy's message to the other half of the team waiting inside to translate.

Lucas, Dustin, and Nancy surround the kitchen table. Each with a task of their own.

"Dash, dot, dash, dot," Dustin mumbles, feverishly scribbling them on a piece of paper.

Lucas and Max scan the coordinating letter provided on an old guide.

"Dash, dot, dash... Yeah, got it!" Lucas exclaims. "C!"

Nancy transcribes onto a fresh piece of paper and this process continues as the others take turns talking to Will. Mike is next.

"And then the party escaped into the sewers," he recalls excitedly. "and there were those big insect things, and you guys were still on level one. Then you cast Fog Cloud and you saved us. You saved the whole party!"

Another pattern by Will turned into another letter on paper as the kids listened intently to Hopper's incoming message.

"L!"

"Dash dash-"

"-O!"

"We were so happy to see snow," Y/n explains, arms waving as she reimagines the moment. "and we got so wrapped up in our snowball fight, we didn't see my mom open the garage and when you ducked, I knocked over the old floor lamp that had been sitting out there. We had to spend the rest of the day cleaning it up, but we couldn't stop laughing,"

"-S,"

"You saw how sad Y/n was," Joyce says, knowing she was just about to reveal a fact to the girl in the room, a fact she might have missed out. But this doesn't stop her from telling the story, or breaking away from her son's gaze. "and when you two came back from Castle Byers, I saw her thanking you for your Tonka Truck."

"-E."

"and I pulled you aside before she left, and I told you that we couldn't afford to buy another one,"

Y/n's eyes flicker from Joyce back to Will, swallowing the entirely new perspective her side of the story revealed.

"-G."

Joyce began to choke on her words at the pride of her son, as well as Y/n who stood off in the corner with a simultaneous swelling, and breaking of her heart. "You said she should have it because she was sad. She's sad, Mom, and I want to make that go away."

"-A."

"I love you so much," Joyce tearfully coos.

"-T."

"So, so much."

"-E!"

The play button ejects on the Byers boom box, the music coming to an end and the others gather around Nancy at the table. Will's message drips off their tongues simultaneously and a chill spreads through the air at what it reads.

"CLOSE GATE"

A loud, shrill ring pierces the chilled air and a total of six heads whip up at the startling noise of the Byers phone; All who are inside, and the sixth belonging to Will.

The rest in the shed follow suit, and they experience the plunging feeling of fear as they realize what is about to happen.

"Shit! Shit! Shit!" Dustin spews through his clenched jaw, the first of his group to reach the phone.

He rips it off the line and slams it back down.

The others look around at one another, silently wondering if they were in the clear. A second shrill ring answers their question, and Dustin scrambles to hang up the phone. Nancy beats him to it, and rips the phone - mount and all - and throws it to the ground with an angred grunt.

Everyone sighs, and Max is first to voice their shared concern.

"Do you think he heard that?"

"It's just a phone," Steve replies, his tone of voice betraying his intended confidence. "It could be anywhere... Right?"

Without his permission, Will's eyelids flutter closed and his head begins to twitch.

The Mind Flayer had begun his search.

"Hey," Joyce jumps up worriedly, placing her palm on her son's knee gently shaking it to get his attention. "Hey, can you hear me?"

His bretahing grows increasingly ragged, his eyes moving under his eyelids as the tunnels begin to spread under his command.

Hopper kneels down beside Will, his voice grave. "It knows. It knows where we are."

"Shit," Joyce hisses.

She jumps from her seat altogether and grabs the remaining dose of anesthesia and plunges into Will's other arm. His head drops in seconds and Hopper, Y/n and Jonathan flood outside onto the lawn. Their eyes scan the trees behind them, as well as the rest of the backyard but it is eerily silent.

Until the piercing cry of the Demodogs carries through the air, and across the night sky announcing their advances.

The others hear it even from inside the house, and they near the window. Moonlight spills onto their faces, illuminating their fear as they realize the dangers to come.

"That's not good," Dustin breaths, paralyzed.

The quartet return to the shed, pushing themselves past the makesshift curtains blanketing the door.

"They're coming!" Jonathan cried to his mother and Mike.

Everyone scrambles to untangle Will from his restraints, and scurry inside, Will over Jonathan's shoulder.

The only one to linger is Hopper, who hesitates outside the shed, and goes back for the rifle that sat amongst the pile of the sheds discarded things.

He's the last to enter the house, closing and locking the door behind him, and yet he does not know what good it will do them. He marches across the kitchen, grabbing the other rifle he had nabbed from the lab, and enters the living room. His eyes widen when he sees the children packed against the windows on the couch.

"Hey." He barks. "Hey, get away from the windows!"

They scramble off the couch and one by one everyone else files into the living room as they prepare. Hopper's scanning eyes land on Jonathan and he holds up one of the rifles.

"Do you know how to use this?"

"What?" Jonathan asks, still processing the sudden change of events.

"Can you use this?" Hopper seethes, turning red in the face as his impatience grows.

Another voice answers.

"I can,"

Dustin and Jonathan part as Nancy steps forward, and catches the rifle in her hands without a second thought. Her and Hopper cock their guns, and take their aim. In a matter of moments, everyone is packed in against one other in a protective huddle, their hearts beating as loud as drums. Some were lucky - and quick - enough to get their hands on anything they could use as a weapon. Apart from Y/n, who began wringing out her hands and attempting to shake out her nerves, and Steve who wielded his signature weapon; the spiked bat.

The tense silence grows thicker, hanging in the air far longer than any one of them would have preferred. The occasional chitter could be heard, and the rusting of branches followed all too soon.

"Where are they?" Max cries, her fear grows when she finds herself without a weapon.

Subconsciously, she moves herself tighter to be near Lucas who has drawn his wrist rocket.

Another silence, and the next noise to be heard beside their ragged breaths is the sudden groaning of the beast who growing closer by the second.

What sounded to a select few like a human cry was drowned out in the several thuds and more screeches from the Demodogs. The sound of branches breaking outside brought everyone's attention - and aim - to the dining room window visible from where they stood.

"What are they doing?" Nancy mumbled through her fearful panting.

Everyone could see the leaves shake violently against the window as if something had landed in the bushes.

The battle cries of the Demodogs flew from window to window at an alarming speed, as did the barrels of Hopper and Nancy's guns.

Everyone watches with great worry and confusion as the battle cries quickly turn to cries of pain. And for one small moment they think they hear the sounds of bones crushing as it screeches in pain.

Before their minds can conjure any possible explanation, the far left window pane shatters as the body of a Demodog comes crashing onto the living room floor. Violent cries of terror rip from everyone's throats as they jump out of the way, turning on the intruder.

Their guards lower on a single notch as they realize the thing lays completely lifeless. And yet, they creep forward to examine the body, Hopper the closest of all as he advances on what he hopes is its corpse.

"Holy shit," Dustin whispers.

"Is it dead?" Max gapes, wearily inching forward towards the monster.

Hopped takes a deep breath, gun still drawn and finger on the trigger and inches his boot closer to the Demodog. It's lifeless head falls to the side limply, and everyone breathes what they know to be a temporary sigh of relief.

The relief is snatched up in seconds, and everyone's guard returns when they hear a soft wooden creak coming from the front door. Everyone returns to their position, weapons drawn ready to fight.

An unusual sight turns their heads as they watch the deadbolt unlock by itself. It's sharp click booms in their ears like thunder. Everyone creeps forward by a mere few steps, and in their heightened adrenaline fueled state, they begin to questions the Demodogs capabilities if only for a fleeting moment before dismissing it altogether.

They watch in awe as the chain lock on the door, slides itself unlocked, and drops instantly, swing limply against the door. It creates a taunting scrape as it grazes the door.

Everyone wonders what they are about to face, everyone apart from a the dutiful chief, a missing experiment, and a certain boy who does not dare let himself entertain the idea in fear of another painful heartbreak.

With soft and muffled clicks from the tumblers, the wooden door creaks open painfully slow. A worn out pair of white sneakers fit around a dainty pair of feet cross the threshold and onto the wooden floors.

All weapons lower immediately in shock as they gape at the sight before them. Standing across the room in a brand-new wardrobe and slightly longer hair blending perfectly with her usual bleeding nose and fierce look in her eye was none other than El.

Her eyes scan the small crowd of familiar and unfamiliar shock-ridden faces until they land on the one she had never stopped dreaming about. Her heart skips a beat when she does not seem him at first before bursting altogether when he steps out from behind Hopper's towering frame.

His widened eyes are swimming in tears as he gazes at her as of she were mirage. Her hard and concentrated glare melts immediately into vulnerability as she meets his eyes, feeling eerily similar to him as if he would inevitably disappear as soon as she woke up.

And instantaneously, matching bright smiles break out on their faces when they know.

Neither of them were dreaming, and at long last, they had finally found one another again.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

PLEASE!!! Don't stop fighting for black lives. This has been said a thousand times and it shouldn't have ever needed be said in the first place but just because it isn't on the news as much anymore, that it's not "trending" anymore doesn't mean it's over. Please continue fighting back and doing what you can. Links below as usual.

Protect Protestors From Federal Officers

[my city of Portland is not the only one to face this, as there are plans of using this tactic on other cities trump views as a threat. Please help!]

[Link]

Black Trans Education Foundation GoFundMe

"We're raising money to provide $3,000 scholarships directly to 20 black trans students."

Donate if you can and please, please share!!

[Link]

rown & black businesses damaged by the protests

"In efforts to help Black & Brown businesses that were damaged during riots this weekend, @ buyblackatl and @ spoiledberry are raising money. Please share this, and if you or anyone you know owns a Black/Brown owned business that was impacted, please contact us. 🖤"

[Link]

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