#maybe thats why people say 'use your reading comprehension' ?

[iwaasfairy]

Hello fairy bby💕 I'm an indian, born and brought up in my homeland india, my english is not that good bc it is not my first language and I've been insulted for my english reading comprehension three times by native english speaker on tumblr as well on discord lol.😂😭

Also I'm studying medicine so I really don't have too much time to study things other than my medicine books.

As a writer yourself, could you pleasee give me some tip to improve my reading comprehension?

I love you💕

this took me wayyy too long to answer iM sorry my love! but honestly, i don't think it's a native vs not-native speaker thing? also people who insult you for that on the regular??? hUH are those people good lMAOOO that's so rude ໒꒰ ♡◞ ˕ ก ꒱১

but when people say 'no reading comprehension', especially from a writer pov, it's usually that there's things implied that maybe you miss, right? so like, if someone writes a fic about manipulation, usually that is more implied than actually said straight out; maybe thats what they mean? you can try reading between the lines, and make your own judgements?

bc i hope?? people weren't just being assholes to say that to you? usually as writers, we write our characters in a very specific way yk, so if a character does something in a fic that doesn't seem,,, natural to do, the writer wrote it that way for a reason. thinking about why a character is acting that way, even briefly, can really help with your reading comprehension i think

[rotten-c0rps3]

•𝙼𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊 𝙼𝚘𝚗𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛•

Masc list

Updated: May 27th

A list of my male/masc monster characters. I will be adding more in the future. I will do Character x reader with them, so don’t be afraid to request if one catches your eye!

Creatures added: (2) angels, (2) shapeshifting parasites, (1) zombie, (1) siren,

Ｈａｌｏ

Species: Angel

Gender: Male (but only once he got down to Earth, Angels don’t have genders in Heaven)

He/They/It (Couldn’t care less about what people refer to him as, just doesn’t want to be perceived as feminine)

Backstory: Nobody told Halo it’d be quite so… lonely being on Earth. I mean, up in Heaven, Halo knew everyone. Thats how Heaven was, basically one big office building in the clouds, full of friends. Now, even though being a “fallen Angel” isn’t as bad as humans described it, it’s still pretty sucky. Maybe he’ll find some human to keep him company. Why would the other Angels care? He’ll just say he’s doing his job up close!

Personally: You thought Angels would be interesting? Ha! Nah, just kidding. He’s interesting, just has some boring interests and hobbies. If a causal guy isn’t for you, Halo isn’t either! He’s quite chill once to get to know him, it’s up to you if that’s a good thing. Also, he might be chill, but he’d give you nothing than utter devotion. He will expect the same back from you.

Looks: Well, picture the most beautiful man you can. Then erase that from your mind, because Angel beauty is so much more intense. That being said, he’s a little scary in his Angel form. He’s as white as the moon, with only three fingers on each hand and skin the texture of soft sandpaper. He was no head, a ball of bright light where it would be. Despite his brightness, his light doesn’t hurt human eyes. A single blue eye sits in where the center of the light seems to be. He’s not often in this form, unless at home.

Human form: Halo has very short, black curly hair. He’s pale, with the complexion of the moon, but not sickly looking. He does have two eyes in this form, but his left eye is heavily damaged-looking. This happened because when he transformed for the first time, his one eye had trouble splitting correctly and made one of his eyes bonk looking. He’s beauty beyond your comprehension, but he dresses like a loser.

Likes: Human food, TV, sleeping, taking baths, his Angel colleagues, when God gives him easy tasks, being in his angel form, cherry slushy, platonic intimacy, babies, praise,

Dislikes: Rude people, perverts, eccentric religious people, people being able to tell he’s an angel, not being able to watch TV, being forced to be fine with the fact he’ll never be a parent (specifically a mother) because he’s an angel and they don’t reproduce (I smell angst 😼),

Relationships: Doc (Colleague, great friends), Lili (Colleague, quite close)

Doc

Species: Angel

Gender: Male (But only after getting to Earth since Angels don’t really have a gender in Heaven)

He/Him (Uses pronouns as a way to “blend in with humans,” doesn’t really care)

Backstory: After hearing his fellow Angel friend Halo got put on Human-Watching duty, he quickly made a deal with God to go down to Earth with his buddy. Doc is a prepared man, too prepared most would probably say. So, before his little vacation down to Earth, he made sure to read all the info on humans he could find in Heaven. Unfortunately, it wasn’t a lot, and most was out-dated too. The only interesting thing he learned about was human doctors, which he may or may not of named himself after. Maybe a certain human could teach him some new things?

Personally: Truly a loser, but in a totally hot way! A little bit obnoxious about the things he likes. Total “glass half-full” and “Life is beautiful” type guy. If you don’t want a man who’ll obsess over everything he likes, including you, Doc might not be for you.

Looks: He never really leaves his house, ONLY because he’s strictly against changing out of his Angel form. A lean, clean man. Decently hairy, but well dressed and mannered. Usually dressed formally. Despite his Angel form being on the human-looking side, it is very easy to tell he isn’t human. This is because where his face should be, is a large mouth. Kinky, if you’re into that.

Likes: Reading, human medical supplies, the idea of human doctors, history, the way medicine tastes, surgery supplies, sharp things, blood, pain, human emotions, seeing human organs in books, learning about human anatomy, human touch, hygiene, the idea of soulmates,

Dislikes: Accidentally drooling on things, when people are angry at him, when people are scared of him, having to leave his Angel form, rude people, ignorance,

Relationships: Halo (Colleague, great friends), Lili (Colleague, friendly acquaintances)

Percy

Species: Shapeshifting parasite (Made up parasite names are “Happy Tick”, “Paradise Parasite”, and “Pleasure Pinworm”)

Gender: Male (Fluid, can present as anything it wants)

He/it (Presents as male to blend in with humans but “it” would be more accurate to what he is)

Backstory: Once upon a time, a man and a parasite, mimicking a woman, fell in love. Then, they had three beautiful, healthy children. Er… wait, sorry, no. That’s incorrect. Sometime a few decades ago, a parasite found its way into a male host. Then, three little parasites were born from their mother’s corpse, living inside their host father’s stomach. They had their very first meal, eating their way out of the male human before devouring him entirely. (Read Luis’ backstory for more) Sadly, one little parasite only got the scraps. Because of its early malnutrition, whenever it goes into a human form, it never looks quite right. But, you’d love him regardless of looks, right?

Personality: It’s hard to say whether starvation gave Percy his… eccentric personality, or if that’s just how he is. It’s hard to say, mostly because he’s the only one of his specific type of parasite. Percy is a lot of things. Creepily always happy, easy to find annoying, easily excitable, easily harmful, easily manipulated, easily teachable. There are no words I could put to describe the boyfriend Percy would be, but he wouldn’t be a very good one. At least not without a lot of teaching and punishments first. If you like kinky things that specifically have to do with your blood, you’ll like Percy. If you like guys who’ll be on their knees begging one moment and then bitting the hell out of you the next, you’ll like Percy.

Looks: In his natural state, one he’s really only in when inside a host, he’s basically a big glob of black goop.

Human form: Tall, inhumanly so. His limbs are just slightly too long for his body. Percy is sickly pale and uncomfortably thin. He smiles almost all the time, which would be cute if he didn’t look like a rabid dog when he smiles. He has long oily looking black “hair”. His “skin” is impenetrable, making him basically unable to be hurt. This, however, makes it so he does not at all understand human pain.

Likes: Drinking blood in a definitely not erotic way, seeing blood, tasting blood, smelling blood, blood. Also inflicting pain, not because he’s a bad guy, but because he genuinely doesn’t understand it and just likes peoples reactions to it.

Dislikes: Being starved, not having a host, his sister most times, being bullied, when humans can tell he’s not human, when humans don’t enjoy the pain he gives them, not understanding things, not knowing things, being compared to vampires,

Relationships: Luis (Brother, decent relationship), Sylvia (Sister, strained),

𝕃𝕦𝕚𝕤

Species: Shapeshifting Parasite (Made up names are “Fluster Flies”, “Love Bug”, and “Kissing Bug”)

Gender: Male (As close to cis as a genderless parasite can get)

He/she (Unlike his sister, he could not give two fucks about what people see him as)

Backstory: (Read Percy’s backstory for more) Growing up, the three parasite siblings were the human equivalent to orphans. Their species was made to be like this, of course. But that fact didn’t make their life easier. The siblings had to do all sorts of terrible things. Such as, steal, scam, assault, kill, kill, kill… Okay.. in their defense, a parasites gotta eat something! It was merciful to spare all those people having to live as unwilling hosts.

Personally: Unlike his… certainly interesting brother and strict sister, Luis is much calmer. He’s quiet, but that’s just because he’s used to blending into the background of his siblings. Very causal, but not with dating. Dating is serious for a parasite, it means they have to be willing to let their faulty humanity slip in front of their host. Luis is ready for commitment, let’s hope you are too.

Looks: Nobody knows what his parasite form looks like. Human form looks nothing like siblings because of their species differences. About average height, looks pretty short next to Sylvia and Percy, though. Luis is the most meaty out of the three, mostly because he’s the best at catching hosts. The guy is pretty cute, especially for a parasite. Especially next to Percy. Agh, anyways. He usually keeps his hair pretty short, also unlike the other two. Definitely more human-like compared to Percy.

Likes: When his siblings don’t fight, when Sylvia’s in a good mood, the relationships human siblings typically have, feeding on people’s lust, feeding on people’s human emotions, being alone, being outside, being compared to vampires,

Dislikes: Crowds, touchy people, fights, blood, perverts, being poor, having to kill for food, his “father”, death,

Relationships: Percy (Sibling, fine relationship), Sylvia (Sister, neutral relationship),

𝐒𝐡𝐚𝐰𝐧

Species: Zombie

Gender: Nonbinary (Doesn’t understand human gender but is fine with whatever he’s seen as)

He/she/they (Doesn’t really care)

Backstory: Long ago, a woman found out she had the misery of never being able to have children. Fortunately, she knew a little magic. When about twelve men and women died, Shawn was born, sewn from their flesh and filled with salt to slow the process of decay. Unfortunately, since his “birth”, his mother was killed for her actions and he’s now slowly rotting away. Maybe you and him could go dig up his mother’s old spell book.

Personality: Shawn was once as happy as a kid could be. He danced, and sung, and did everything a normal kid would. Then his mother died. He was left alone for years. He’s been adopted by a new caregiver, but he’s not the same. He’s quiet, he’s a shut-in. Maybe you could bring some of his happiness back.

Looks: Shawn is pretty handsome, for sewn together corpses anyway. His hair is choppy and different colors, ranging from blonde to black. Since his mother’s death, no one has been able to treat him properly to slow the process of rot, so he’s missing his right leg. He has a wheelchair, although he much prefers to use his crutches.

Likes: His mother, animals, being alone, the forest, nature, old houses that smell a little weird, TV, reading, art, poetry, old things, cooking, cleaning, helping out,

Dislikes: Insects, rotting, death, having to rely on other people, old people, being forgotten, the people his mother killed, the people who killed his mother,

Relationships: Jane (Caregiver, neutral), Linsey Abigail (Mother, very close)

Gᵣₐₙₜ

Species: Siren

Gender: Cis male

He/him (Lol he’s one of the few actually cis characters I have)

Backstory: Grant was like any other siren. Growing up with no parents, he had no one to lead him. He had to watch humans just to figure out how to live! This, perhaps, is what gave him a superiority complex of thinking of himself like a god. Man or god, Grant is terrible. A true fixer-upper, if you will.

Personality: Although Grant is selfish, apathetic, and quite frankly stupid, the title of “Grant the God if Greed” he gave himself is quite appropriate. He ain’t no god, but he loves to be greedy. It’s really sad, though. Being so heartless means no one likes him, and that means he’s alone all the time. Maybe he’d share his riches with you, but you gotta at least entertain his pathetic ass first.

Looks: You know the human tale of half-fish, half-human? Well, that is true for mermaids and mermen, but not sirens. Sirens are pretty human, actually. Well, except the gills, and discolored skin, and fins, and fish tail sticking out of their backside. For a siren, Grant is pretty human looking. Which helps when he has to blend in to steal. He has rich, golden eyes and choppy brown hair. He’s not a young siren, so don’t expect Prince Charming. His clothes are usually dirty, and no amount of stolen jewelry he wears covers that.

Likes: Eating fish, stealing from pirates, getting away with stealing, jewelry, being viewed as superior, shiny things, gold, the ocean, his cave, his treasure, how simple and fragile humans are, raw meat,

Dislikes: When his plans backfire, getting hurt, humans finding out he’s not human, being out of water too long, when it’s mermaid breeding season, mermaid/mermen,

Relationships: None (He’s a loser)

[non-binharry]

How is this Louis festival any different from H’s tour plans? Yet I see many people who pretty much ’cancelled’ Harry a week ago, being all excited and going ’well it’s outdoors and free etc etc’ now. I’m sorry but really?

you know, i'm actually going to take this moment to break this down because i feel like people really don't understand the double standard:

the two situations are not comparable. we can acknowledge and admit that. louis is doing a one day festival vs harry doing a two month tour across the US. those are obviously not the same thing at all. but we see time and time again how people perceive the motivation behind harry and louis' actions are completely different.

people were begging for updates on tour and saying over and over "harry is for sure postponing tour, there's no way he's going on tour rn with the delta variant spreading" and then when we find out that plans were different, it was super spreader this, harry is greedy that, as though changing plans for a world tour are a decision that happens overnight and not something that takes time and careful consideration, especially in the middle of a pandemic.

there's no performing at half capacity for shows that have been sold out for over a year. y'all want him to make a two month tour go for four? there's no outdoor venues for places where venues are booked or few and far between. the idea that, if harry were to do something different to accommodate for an ever changing pandemic when just two months ago things were drastically improving in the US, people wouldn't still behave exactly as they have or be satisfied enough by his efforts is just not working for me.

like y'all just need to be transparent. i see y'all reblogging gifs and videos and photos of megan the stallion performing at lives shows (where mfs got sick) and not acknowledging a damn thing because you only choose to make a problem out of something when you want to.

[dylanobrienisbatman]

Omg give us ur rant abt hating d*rklina as a ship.. im petty

Okay Anon, so i saw this the other day and I wasn't in the right headspace to answer but i am now!

So to start off, I am firmly in the ship and let ship category. You like a ship, i don't care. That doesn't mean i won't rag on the ship itself but I don't send hate, I don't really engage with shippers from ships I don't like, and I am liberal with the block button and the blacklist feature. Cultivate your tumblr/online experience, y'all. You don't owe anyone on this hellsite (or any other) a damn thing.

However, I REALLY do hate d*rklina as a ship, and I have a big problem with the way the shippers talk about it, so I hope you were being serious about wanting a rant because here it goes.

As for the ship itself, i feel like the reasons I dislike it are pretty obvious and standard. It's abusive. He is her abuser. He manipulates her. He spends months grooming her and gaslighting her, intentionally trying to get her under his control so that when he literally enslaves her it will go over easier. He never actually loved her, he wanted to use her for her power. It's not complicated, it's not really 'up for debate', that is the way its written, and the author has explained that that was the intended interpretation of her work. I mean he literally sexually assaults her in the second book, and straight up tells her he's going to kill everyone she loves so that she has no choice but to fall to him because she is completely alone in the world. He threatens to skin her alive in the second book when they're on the boat, he has no problem torturing her to get Mal to do what he wants. That's not love. He does not love her. It's pretty black and white, its explicitly written as an abusive relationship. The point was to show how easily powerful men can manipulate and abuse young naive women who don't know any better and try to see the best in people. Alina 'fell' for the version of Darkles Sparkles that he intentionally created to try to control her. Nothing he told her was true, from his backstory, to them both being 'the only one like [each other]' (hello, baghra), to using Genya to convince Alina that Mal had abandoned her, everything he did was manipulation so that he could get her under his control. It is not a romance, it is not 'a ship war', d*rklina is not written as romantic. He is her abuser. Full stop.

There is also the point about him being just a generally horrible person all around. He's not morally grey. He just isn't. He sold an 11 year old into sex slavery, forced her to stay in that situation so he could use her, and then mutilated her when she defied him. He also groomed and abused Zoya, because he saw that she was exceptionally powerful and wanted to use her the way he wanted to use Alina. He enslaved Alina. He blinded and mutilated his own mother. He is a genocidal maniac. He shows no remorse, he doesn't care about anyone but himself and his own power. He is not the type of character that should be romantically shipped with anyone. If you like him, that's absolutely fine! One of my fave characters ever is Kai Parker from TVD. Dude was a straight up psychopath. He tried to kill multiple pairs of toddlers. He brutally murdered his pregnant sister AT HER WEDDING. He is a HORRIBLE person. But I think he's a brilliant character. But do I think he's a good guy, do I want him anywhere near any characters in that show in a romantic way (ehem b*nkai)? Absolutely fucking not. Being a fan of a villain character is fine, but fucking own that shit. Villains can be SUCH good characters, but they're still villains. Erasing the bad they've done so you can justify putting them in situations where they WILL harm the people around them because you can't level with yourself about the bad things they've done doesn't make you 'woke', it just makes you look like you don't understand the media you're consuming.

Which leads me to why I have such a problem with the way D*rklina shippers engage with the ship. They simultaneously wanna say "oh we know it's toxic/bad/abusive/etc., that's why we like it!" and then also they try to claim that it should be endgame, they romanticize scenes where he is abusing her (and by romanticize I mean they literally try to frame his abuse as romantic, not like "oh yeah my ship is interacting!!". those are different things. You can be excited about ship interactions without trying to say that things he is doing to her are actually romantic), they try to argue that he is morally grey/misunderstood/etc., and they straight up try to lie and say he's not her abuser.

If you wanna ship an abusive ship, own it. Be straight up about why you like it. It's okay to be into dark shit, y'all. It does NOT make you a bad person to be into dark shit. But this idea that fiction doesn't impact real life, and that people can't call the ship out for what it is is a problem is a very troubling trend in fandom. Nobody is saying you can't ship it, do what you want. But this idea that these people are 'oppressed' because fans of the show/book continue to point out the facts about the way the story was written and how the relationship is actually presented is fucking insane. Someone saying that D*rklina is abusive is not calling you out, they are stating a fact. It's the story as it was presented. You trying to say it's not makes it look like you have no reading comprehension. And this idea that 'well i'll be on the lookout for evil shadow wizards in real life lol' is such horse shit too. His shadow wizard powers aren't the issue. He is a powerful man who grooms and abuses young women. You're telling me you lived through the Me Too movement and you wanna act like thats not a real threat that young women face every day? You're telling me that you can't see that the actual real life connection you're supposed to be making here? Okay, well you should maybe deal with that and come back to me, because that's an issue.

Fiction is meant to teach us lessons. Darkles is meant to teach us something. He is meant to show us that sometimes, powerful men lie to, manipulate, groom, and abuse young women, and we should be aware of that. The story is about a young woman who is sucked into an abusive situation, and then she breaks free and in the end she is able to defeat her abuser. That is a really powerful story, and one that millions of real life women can relate too. To pretend that that story doesn't have real life connections makes you look insensitive and frankly, kind of cruel.

So basically, in the end, my biggest issue is that D*rklina shippers love to spout this nonsense about 'knowing' it's bad and that he's a villain, and 'that's why they like him', and then turn around and try to say that he's not actually the villain, he's not actually bad, and the things he does to Alina that are abuse are actually romantic and sweet. You wanna ship an abusive ship, you do you, but lets not pretend it's anything other than what it is, but romanticizing and normalizing abuse tactics so you can feel, what? morally superior? Cool? edgy and different? That has real life impacts. You are normalizing abuse. Real people will engage with that rhetoric, and it will make it difficult for them to see abuse when it happens to them or the people around them because they believe its romantic or normal to be treated that way.

You wanna be a villain stan? You wanna ship dark ships? Good on ya, but fucking own your shit, y'all.

[sillysnack]

does anyone want to hear my top 10 ASOUE moments (from the books and netflix adaptation)? "no" well HERE IT IS

spoiler: most of them are going to involve klaus

NUMBER 10!

(The Ersatz Elevator, Netflix) Klaus keeps screaming even though their little basket thing is stable and floating again

NUMBER 9

(The Penultimate Peril, Books) Klaus says that he and his sisters arent noble but Dewey Denouement reassures him that they are noble enough and they hug

NUMBER 8

(The End, Netflix) klaus reads The Incomplete History then he and violet find out if she were a boy, she'd be named "Lemony". klaus then says, "I wonder why that name's so important."

NUMBER 7

(The Bad Beginning) Fernald (the Hook-Handed Man, an adult) loses to Sunny Baudelaire (a baby) in a game of POKER 😭😭

NUMBER 6!

(The Bad Beginning) Klaus talks about nuptial laws (its a good scene, okay? i love it when people know stuff)

NUMBER 5

Isadora, wearing fake bangs: how do i look?

Klaus: different. which is good! not that you didnt look good before but-

4 (typing the word number now seems wrong to me)

(The Penultimate Peril, Netflix) Esme tells Olaf that being constantly undermined by her significant other (Olaf) is "Out" and that being outsmarted by three children time and time again is "out" (basically Esme just rants to Olaf and then he breaks up with her)

TOP 3

(The End) the Baudelaires celebrate Beatrice II's 1st birthday!

TOP 2:

(Netflix, shown in The Penultimate Peril (I think?)) "Beatrice, I will love you if I never see you again, and I will love you if I see you every Tuesday. I will love you as the iceberg loves the ship and as the passengers love the lifeboat, as the battlefield loves young men and as peppermints love your allergies. I will love you as we grow older, which just happened, and happened again, and will continue to happen. I will love you until every fire has been extinguished and every home rebuilt, and every code and heart has been broken. I will love you if you marry someone else, and I will love you if you have a child, or two children, or three, which seems like a good number. I love you Beatrice, I always will."

alright! before I get to Top 1 here are Honorable Mentions:

- any Klaus Baudelaire scene

- Klaus says "nice girls can do all sorts of things" in response to Mr. Poe going "violet you are a nice girl you shouldnt know how to do that" because she managed to construct the broken apart murder tool olaf used on Uncle Monty

- Klaus says "some boys like dolls" (that's how I remember the line) becuase violet gave the doll gifted to her by Aunt Josephine to him

- every Fernald & Sunny scene in The Slippery Slope, especially where he playfully calls her Chabo.

- the snow scouts recite their pledge (I'll memorize this) and klaus says "How can anyone by Xylophone?" because thats part of the pledge

- (The Penultimate Peril, Netflix) count olaf dumps esme so Carmelita asks: is countie not my daddy anymore? Esme answers: hes not mine either pet

- (OKAY LAST HONORABLE MENTION 🙏🙏) Klaus talks about firetrucks and ends it with "and thats.. a lot of power" (he meant all of it as a threat) then he asks violet "how was that?" and she answers, "comprehensive"

OKAY NOW TOP 1 (sorry if this isnt what you expected)

MY TOP 1 ASOUE MOMENT IS..!

(The Slippery Slope) "Maybe they didn't want us to find out about such a dangerous place," Violet said, peering off the ledge, "although if you have to hide a headquarters, it's a beautiful place to do it, this is a very lovely view."

"Very lovely indeed," Quigley said, but he was not looking at the view beneath him. He was looking beside him, where Violet Baudelaire was sitting.

—

yeahh😍‼🙏

[sanstropfremir]

the hotly anticipated kingdom episode 7 review is here!!

this episode was a lot less spectacle-y than the last one (the last episode with stages, i mean), and i think that was a good choice for all the groups on the whole to tone it down on the run up to the finale, because at the rate everyone was headed there would be no room to go any higher. i'm very glad that there was actually a collab stage and not just a song swap, especially because it gives a chance for the boys to work together and make friends when they otherwise arent going to be able to interact much. love love love to see them making friends and having fun doing these stages!

i'm not really sure why mnet didnt put the vocal stage this episode, because what on earth else are they going to put in the next episode with it??? i know it's a content stretch but still, it seems like a weird choice to me. anyways, there’s four stages for me to talk about this time and i'm going to try to not ramble out of control, but we’ll see. i did enjoy watching all of these, but we’ve all got favourites and i'm going to rank by which group i liked better out of the two for each stage, and then i put a few conclusions at the end. strap in folks this is another long one.

rap stages

skz + btob + atz

i was actually really surprised at how much i liked this stage. i would not classify myself as a rap fan and believe it or not i actually do not place a lot of importance on lyrics when enjoying music. although i have very high lyric retention and comprehension, i focus more on the sound than the literal words, so a fair amount of rap is swing-and-a-miss in my personal listening. plus when you add a language barrier on top of that, a lot of the nuance and technical skill of it just flies over my head. so i really dont have much to say about the sonic elements this time around, sorry. also.....i know i joked that nobody from the kingdom staff is reading my reviews.....but is someone from the kingdom staff reading my reviews????? i specifically mentioned that i think skz should do an art themed stage and then we got one????? i know i manifested the punk ateez stage but did i manifest this also??? am i just that powerful???

costume

obviously these are pretty basic rap/hiphop stage looks, but the white was a really good choice for visibility’s sake, and also thematically: it reflects the colours in the lighting really well.

i am DYING to know who the designer of minhyuks jacket is. if somebody knows please tell me i love it so much. it looks like some of the recent belted jackets that dior was putting out, but the drawing on the front armscythe piece reminds me of the superm/kim junggi collab for tiger inside. say whatever you want about superm, but you cannot deny that that is not some of the coolest merch on the kpop scene.

loved the traditional korean elements that came through in addition to the western references: the screens, hongjoong’s fan, minhyuk’s big fuckoff brush, the masks, and the sleeves on the dancers at minhyuk’s bit. those are a costume feature from a style of korean traditional masked dance called bongsan talchum. the masks themselves are versions of hahoetal masks, which are used in a very specific archetypal ritual dance in andong. i think these are imae masks, who is the servant/fool archetype that mocks the nobleman and the scholar. i suspect that was a deliberate choice, but i can only speculate.

another point about the masks which is not relevant but maybe a fun fact for people who don’t know. i actually thought at first that they were western theatre half masks, which are a very old style of mask that, like with hahoetal masks, represent a number of archetypes/stock characters. maskwork is a very common training practice in theatre schools, because it teaches body language and control, because half your face is covered and you cannot speak in your own voice (sometimes you cannot speak at all, this is one of the rules of full mask). the tradition of usings masks to portray emotion goes all the way back to the ancient greek chorus, but more commonly people in the west sometimes know it from the italian commedia dell’arte, of which you will have definitely seen some of the character archetypes before. i just find it neat that the same types of art pop up in different places seemingly independently of each other. humans are cool.

set

not much to say here, it's pretty bare with just some propwork. thought the screen use was fun and they used it smartly in a couple of transitions. 

thought changbin’s bit of ‘interrupting’ the artists was cute and fun. there’s obviously a picasso reference there, and the four technicolour paintings are a reference to andy warhol’s pop art silkscreen portraits, most famously of marilyn monroe, but he also did many other celebrities in the 70s and 80s.

lighting

i LOVED this lighting. super bright and fun, lots of use of colour, obviously. the projections were there to enhance the visuals and weren’t distracting in any way. i thought the transition to black and white/ink with minhyuk was smart and had good contrast, it gave a strong rhythm to build back up to for the climax.

sound

bang chan’s ‘spelling colour with a u’ bit had me SCREAMING with laughter. we spell colour with a u normally bang chan, the americans are the ones that are wrong. 

staging

i don’t really have a whole lot to say here, it was pretty straightforward and fun. like i’ve said in previous reviews, i wish they were more conscious of the steadicam direction and would stop showing extended bits of the production crew. at least everyone was wearing full blacks this time.

fun use of the upward angle combined with the groundwork/leg choreo during hongjoong’s verse, that was a highlight for me.

sf9 + tbz + ikon

nothing against this stage, the other one just hit harder for me. bobby is the best rapper on the show and he really carried this stage with his charisma. he’s a fun performer to watch and he knows how to command a space. i'm sure there’s technical notes that people have about the raps themselves, but i'm here looking at visuals as a priority, which i'm sure you’ve all grasped at this point.

costume

these were clearly extensions of these idol’s personal styles, with is a perfectly fine choice, especially for a rap stage where the emphasis is more on authorship. LOVED bobby’s 11yro girl at recess look.

amusing that both rap stages involved paint in some way? loved the backup dancers shooting supersoakers filled with paint at them, but i wish i knew the reason for it? i'm glad i saw this stage first because i would have been underwhelmed by the paint throwing if i had seen this after rainbow bonanza.

set

almost no set at all here, just a few props. i'm not judging as harshly on lack of set this round because these stages are meant to be more about skill than anything else. 

lighting

i loved the projections, i thought they were unobtrusive and i admit, i LOVE outer space themed anything.

i liked that they did more concert lighting and had no projections in the first half to put more focus on the performers, it really highlighted the fact that this stage was about them, and not about anything extraneous.

sound

it was indeed a song.

staging

i do wish there had been a bit more control of the space, because it did look very empty at some parts and they could have staved that off by keeping tighter camera shots. this stage is so fucking big, holy shit.

they really brought their onstage chemistry and they looked like they were having a blast, which FINALLY!! 

i actually really liked hwiyoung’s opening, i think there was a lot of potential there for some sharp contrast work that i wish had been played through a little more, especially with the cool white light overtop the black costumes. it actually reminded me a bit of the intro in the music video from a rapper i do actually listen to, bewhy’s gottasadae.

glad to see some more use of camera effects with the black and white, but why did they do it over the paint throwing? it just made the trajectory of the paint invisible because there was no colour contrast.

performance stages

sf9 + tbz + ikon

ok obviously im gonna have a lot more to say about the performance stages, nobody is surprised there. this one was the better constructed of the two and my personal pick for better stage, but i actually liked watching the both of them equally.

costume

king shit, literally. we love contemporary hanbok in this house. there was good colour and style distinction between the three of them without clashing. 

costume change was fun and neatly blocked, it's pretty common to see backup dancers and chorus hiding quickchanges but i liked how this was a more unusual formation.

taeyang rocking the organza skirt and the big purple eyeshadow, thank you for keeping it cunty as always.

i really liked juyeon’s underlayer look. finally we get a good tbz costume look thats thematically relevant!

set

like all the stages this round, pretty minimal. the setting was almost entirely established through the costumes and the projections, which is some really good designwork. it's pretty much just the litters (the lifted chairs they entered on), and some smaller props. they managed to not make the stage feel empty because there was a lot of projection visuals to compensate, which is difficult to do without being overbearing, but i think they mostly pulled it off.

i originally thought it was gonna be weird to try and mesh the traditional korean architectural aesthetic with the weird mnet deco, but i ended up not noticing it as much as i thought i would.

lighting

like i just said, projections very well done and do a fantastic job of conveying setting without being overly distracting. like with the atz/skz/btob rap stage there’s a really broad range of colour use here that they offset by brightening and properly fill lighting the faces so you can actually see what’s happening.

the use of the strobing lasers and more concert style lighting fit really well with the change in the music from traditional instrument sounds to electronica and the more hiphop/isolated movements.

sound

i liked it well enough! i think it had a good arc that we can see echoed through the rest of the piece, like previously stated in the lighting and movement style. 

staging

like i mentioned with the quickchange, there was some really interesting formations using the backup dancers here, especially as a lead toward/away from the camera

having the three of them enter on litters; again, literal king shit, love to see it.

this has a pretty clear narrative that doesnt really need an external explanation, which is good. i have to assume that the burning of the paper with 妃 (concubine) is intended to be a gesture of ‘burning’ the love out of their hearts, but that was the only thing i'm still confused on. this may very well turn out to be a reference to a specific story that i just have no idea what it is, but we’ll see once the subs are out!

i loved juyeons solo bit with the alcohol drinking and the table flip, that was the choreographic highlight for me. i just really wish he would use the other muscles in his face more often. we know youre pretty, you dont have to blue steel your way through all your performances!! take a page out of donghyuk’s book and make some ugly faces, it's good for you!!

i though taeyang’s swordwork was fine, but since i do actually have a decade of sword training i'm very judgemental. it's not bad, he obviously has practiced with the weapon and he knows how to control it, but he doesn’t have the same understanding as someone who has trained with a sword as a weapon and not just as a prop. if we hadn’t seen another stage with swordwork in it i probably wouldn’t have brought this up (that's a lie, i still would have brought it up, i have a third dan), but you can really see the difference between how minhyuk moves with his sword and how taeyang moves. a lot of this has to do with the proper weighting of the blade, which i mention briefly in my second episode review in btob’s section (and also this ask here, where i talk about properly weighted weapons in relation to the gun choreo in sf9’s and ateez’s previous stages); minhyuk is likely using a ‘real’ sword (it’s blunted but still made using proper methods and materials), and taeyang is using a cheaper-made replica (unless you’re doing full contact striking a LOT there’s no way a properly made blade breaks like that. also you would never tape it together hello??? respect the blade). if you know what you’re looking for, you can tell from the movements themselves when someone has training. minhyuk did a load of real training for a film where he was a swordsman, and you can tell; the sword is an extension of his arm, all the movements lead with the tip of the blade first, because that’s your first, your fastest, and your most dangerous point. you do 90% of your cutting with the first eight inches of blade, but it takes a lot of specific training to get your hands and arms to a place where that kind of movement is possible. taeyang’s movements are driven from his hands, which is unsurprising, because that’s where he’s used to his extensions stopping. the tip follows rather than leads. wow this got insanely sidetracked i hope you liked this crash course on swordwork.

this is pretty much what i expected to see from this unit. these three groups all have standout soloists, so i wasn’t surprised to see these three boys as the picks. juyeon and taeyang especially, theyre both from groups that are more likely to do experimental stages and choreography that highlights them as soloists and skilled dancers.

skz + btob + atz

this was a letdown from ateez’s last two stages, because they knocked those out of the park, but it's only fair that they have a bit of a fall. that being said, i did really enjoy watching this for its sheer ridiculousness; i’m forgiving the wolf concept this time because well, it’s wolf. you can't cover wolf and not do a wolf concept, that’s against the law. also, like i’ve said before, i'm all for dark concepts IF you give them thematic weight. is it on the nose? yes. is it thematically relevant? also yes. is it dumb? also also yes, but that’s never stopped a single kpop group in the history of ever.

costume

friendship restored with ateez stylists, rivalry started with skz stylists. the fur shoulder fluffs??? stupid and i love them. perfect in every way. however i keep seeing the same fucking costumes on the skz boys and i will come directly for the stylists at jype if they dont get their shit together. be! more! creative!!!

i really really wish they had gone more 2013 kpop with it, we need more of that ugly ridiculous styling. peniel was actually pretty close, with the overly long tunic and those yellow lenses. very vixx on and on (yes i know they were vampires from outer space, let me live)

i actually thought the wolf gloves were fun? the small bits of uv paint actually worked instead of looking out of place, and i'm glad they put them on wooyoung because the uglier an outfit, the better he pulls it off. 

set

same dice, just the long table and the camo net at the beginning, which i thought was unnecessary. the table was useful for levels though, so happy to see they utilized that.

lighting

there is so much happening all the time. lots of lasers. it's definitely aiming for camp territory, and i dont actually hate it as much as i did on my first watch. it actually wasn’t as dark as i thought either, because its mostly lit with blue and amber. but it doesn’t really have that great of an arc and its not really that good on the whole.

the projections are a bit much for me, but that’s only when i'm actually looking at them. true to form, i didn’t even notice the excess of red slashes until like my fourth rewatch because i was too busy watching the performers.

sound

rookie exo my beloved. the original wolf goes so hard for absolutely no reason, so i’m not knocking this stage for being ridiculous. in fact it should have been more ridiculous. i think they did a fine job updating the song for a.....less 2013 sound. 

i like that they didn’t bother to live sing the stage even though they recorded vocals for it, it gave them all a chance to actually focus on just the dance.

that being said, i am kind of missing all the adlibs from the original. but even though there’s some strong vocalists in this unit, they aren’t made of the same stuff as baekhyun, luhan, chen, AND d.o.

i literally just realized that peniel had already debuted when this song came out AND is technically exo’s senior because btob debuted like two weeks before exo officially did.....oh no

staging

choreographically this feels a lot more like the skz stages that we’ve seen rather than the ateez ones, so i'm curious as to who the choreographer was. 

the tricking was definitely more ridiculous in this one, but i can't really say any of it was there for no reason because it all had elements of fighting in it. the scale of the tricks was quite large though and not very well blended with the rest of the choreo, which ending up making them look awkward. i thought it was a nice detail that they shone a green toplight on the dancers that made up the cliff wooyoung climbed up so that it looked like there was grass on it. cute.

the blocking is lacking a lot of fluidity, and i think that’s partially the scale of the tricking and also the editing, because this editing is TERRIBLE. there’s so much cutting, why is there so much cutting!! haven’t we already learned that longtakes are the best for this???

there’s a lot of stuff here that had good potential but could have been pushed a little farther. i feel like i say this for every mediocre stage, but what can i say, i'm good at constructive criticism. 

they should have given more showcase to the tree and the scratching arms; it's the most iconic move!! i also wish they had kept some kind of iteration of the different unit ‘leaping’ in over the exiting one, i always thought that part of the original choreo was really fun and did a lot for establishing them as wolves. 

i LOVED peniel entering with all those backup dancers in chains, thats some fucking iconic shit. very ‘im the alpha wolf,’ which is valid because he’s like at LEAST five years older than everyone else on the stage. i wish that instead of being the backup dancers it was the actual members, because THAT would have been an image. theyre all wearing harnesses and collars anyways, just clip em in! he’d be like one of those dogwalkers!

me last week: specifically talking about how krump is an uncommon style in kpop and it's very hard to get right kingdom, throwing the manifesting dodgeball at me for the third time: here would you like a KRUMP SOLO?

if you didnt believe me before that krump is hard to get right, i sure hope you do now. peniel did fine, but you can see how easily you can veer off into looking ridiculous.

some conclusions

i mentioned this really briefly in an ask i got earlier today, but i do think it's important to establish that the two performance units are doing two different types of performances. i can understand why people are underwhelmed by the atz/skz/btob stage and wanted it to be less of a traditional kpop dance stage and more like the experimental stages we’ve been seeing for the last few weeks. and i agree! i think they could have done more with it. but i also think that this kind of stage was a good choice for this particular subunit. unlike with the sf9/tbz/ikon unit, there are not really any standout technical soloists in ateez or skz. ateez has, in my opinion, the highest ratio of dancers with actual stage presence of any of the 4th gen groups ive seen. they’re at a solid 75% for any given performance, and occasionally they can bump that higher depending on the stage. that high of a stat is rare. it's extremely rare for a group to have all its members have good stage presence (i can think of like, maybe two or three?), and to get over 50% is pretty damn impressive. but ateez’s strength isn’t in how good they individually are as dancers, but it's in how well they work together. there’s a reason why they put FIVE of them in the performance unit. one of the first things i said about ateez to hanya is ‘i love wooyoung but he doesn’t stand out when he's not centre.’ which is for good reason!! he’s not supposed to! they all willingly give up centre and take it back when they need to, because they have that charisma. there’s a very cohesive push and pull to watching ateez that speaks to their strengths as performers. dancing in a group where you are all meant to be equal is a very different skill than just being a talented soloist. you have to understand what to prioritize in a different way. taemin dances differently with shinee that he does in his solo career, especially since they’ve been back. he understands when to step back; more often than not i find key to be the standout dancer in shinee choreo.

this is a very long winded way of saying that wolf was a good choice for them even though the stage didn’t turn out as well as it could have. also the fact that they made a cohesive performance at all, with a week of rehearsal and while working with essentially strangers is a feat and speaks to all of their skill at their job. performing in a group is a huge part of kpop, and they did call this the performance stage, and not the dance stage.

i'm not entirely sure on what the breakdown is on why each of the subunits were formed. i know the team sizes are extremely uneven, with sf9/tbz/ikon clocking in at 26 people and atz/skz/btob clocking in at 17 (i'm not counting changsub because he's not there and probably has a scheduling conflict), which is like, a whole extra group of difference. but atz/skz/btob utilizing their whole groups for each of the units (5/3/1 for performance, 1/3/1 for rap, and 1/1/1 for vocal, for 7/7/3 total), verses sf9/tbz/ikon only bringing out six people for these two stages and then six for the vocal stage is......weird? that's over half of their group number that’s not performing. i do think the groups brought out their standout performers and made smart choices with the stages but the balance still strikes me as odd. i do wish tbz had actually done some group choreo because they are very strong group performers and it would have been fun to watch.

ateez really played the long game here, good job boys. teaming up with the group who gets the highest fan votes AND the group with the strongest technical skills? i see you.

i think this is probably too wild of an assumption and is only based on circumstantial evidence but.....i think hongjoong might actually have a lot more creative sway than i previously thought. all the stages he’s been a part of have been very well designed, and i know he provided suggestions for the two ateez stages prior to this... i’m probably thinking too much. 

ok you know what i know there were some other points in my brain somewhere but this is already 4000 words so i’m going to stop. if i remember anything else its probably gonna end up in the answer to some of the asks i’m inevitably going to get because i think my opinions on these ones are a little bit more controversial, whoops!

not entirely sure if ill do an extensive review for next week’s stage, because i'm not really a ballad fan and i dont really do vocal reviews, but i could do a quick one. i guess it also depends on what else they put in the episode. we’ll see!!

[clunelover]

So a few things happened since I last wrote about the saga of my stupid class:

1. The lady who left the inflammatory comment, who then wrote to let us all know that she would still come to class but wouldn’t feel comfortable giving feedback anymore, wrote once more saying “sorry if I gave the impression that I didn’t want written feedback on my story, I still do.” UM BITCH WHAT, THATS THE WHOLE DEAL, give it to get it, you took yourself out of the equation, what’s not adding up?? I wanted to say something but obviously this situation already has too many people saying things.

2. Signature lady got some more feedback on her story and, as is her way, replied to the ONE person who sent her feedback and copied the whole class on her reply. And this is a portion of her reply:

“Although I am not attending the next classes, I withdrew) I really appreciate your feedback. Late feedback is a privilege to get. You are on point. My typos are not typos and my run on sentences are running sentences that is why the work has no arc neither. The arcs are a white English phenomena ([Teacher’s name redacted] mentioned it in a class) and I am using an African Slavery narrative and Spanish Romance narratives. The latter uses a subjunctive narrative style.”

I just….oof. It’s a lot. “All of the things people say are mistakes/make my story confusing, are actually on purpose” is an attitude I have seen a lot in my classes so far. There was one other person in this class who had a similar response to workshop. And he also dropped. It’s seriously so maddening — like, if you already know everything and have never written anything confusing on accident, why are you in a class? For me personally, I do think some people just don’t have great reading comprehension, so one person saying something didn’t make sense doesn’t mean much to me. But if it’s a third of the class or more, I figure it must actually be confusing. It’s hard to counter the idea that maybe some of us don’t understand it because we’re in a different culture with different narrative conventions! But…I don’t know…I feel like regardless of tradition, her full on word salad would be hard to understand.

But hey! She’s not going to be in class anymore!! I mean that’s sad that she was the person who felt wronged in the scenario and now she’s I guess feeling driven off but also omg she made class so bad.

3. Then a guy in the class sent another reply all saying, “let’s not talk about stories, let’s talk about FUN! Last night I met Seth Meyers and some celebrity authors [long list] and we stayed up til 3 am partying” And then attached a bunch of pictures of himself with all these people. Like…just a straight up brag for no reason? Other than “these are writers so it’s germane to class”?

In conclusion, let me just say: AHHH THESE PEOPLE ARE ALL SO WEIRD GOD HELP ME THREE MORE CLASS PERIODS INCLUDING TOMORROW

[mlmdarkfiction]

maybe this is too specific lol but could i have hc's for yandere yoosung & jumin being just a little too happy when their crush (who's a trans dude) asks them on tips for being more masculine or just for passing as a guy overall? like they're a little bit happy over the control that gives them & the opportunity to get closer to them? anyways hope you have a great day, love your blog

I JUST REALIZED THIS SAYS HCS AND I WROTE TWO WHOLE ASS FICS UHHH-

I hope this is okay...if you want headcanons let me know! I also didn’t make them very yandere aside from yoosung (but thats kinda canon) because my brain said full comfort. Apparently despite writing all the time I have NO reading comprehension. I cannot read. 

Anyway! I really loved this request actually! and I might try my hand at writing one for all of the RFA and attatch it to this one in separate chapters.  I may even attempt at writing a version with nonbinary specfic, and trans woman specfic reader if there’s interest because lets be real we need more trans reader content for EVERYONE

OBVIOUS CONTENT WARNING FOR DYSPHORIA MENTIONS Read on AO3:

Read Below:

Yoosung:

____: Hey Yoosung?

It’s only a text.

A simple text.

It’s not like you two haven’t texted privately without the gaze of the other RFA members, before.

But all those other instances...It was mostly him who initiated it.

You’re texting him!

You’re really texting him!

And he didn’t even text you first!

He couldn’t be more thrilled if he tried.

Unfortunately for his grades, Yoosung’s homework has been completely ignored, and in his rush to respond back he’s almost completely dropped his phone on his face.

Yoosung: YES Yoosung: Sorry! OMG I didn’t mean to use all caps!!!

He doesn’t have the excuse of caps lock, after all he’s using a phone, not a computer.

Thankfully for him, you find him and his eagerness cute.

It takes a while before he gets another text from you.

He spends the minutes waiting, and watching the three little bubbles on his phone that indicate you’re typing.

There’s no way for the blonde to know it yet, but it’s taking you so long to respond back because you’re

It wasn’t long into your time with the RFA that you told them you were trans. There was just something about the way they assumed you were a woman right away that had made you uncomfortable, so not only did you tell them you were a man, but you told them why exactly that had bothered you.

And to your surprise, everyone had taken it relatively well!

But it doesn’t mean you’re any less anxious. You doubt you’ll ever get over being anxious when it comes to these things.

Finally though you’re able to steel your resolve, and send the text.

____: Do you think there’s anything I could do to pass better?

It takes Yoosung an embarrassing time to realize what you mean. He’s still not the most informed about trans issues, despite trying to learn more so that he can (one day) be a better partner to you.

He wants to be someone you can rely on!

____: Passing.

More texts, because he took way too long to reply.

____: Or like…

____: I just want to look more masculine, you know? Like you

You think he looks masculine?

Yes!

Fuck yes!

But…

Here comes the problem.

Yoosung has never really thought about how he looks, not in the sense of masculinity.

In fact he only really thinks about how he looks when Zen or someone else brings it up.

He kind of just...wears the one hoodie, and aside from a couple of incidents when he was younger no one’s ever really mistaken him for a girl before.

So he just responds the best way he knows how, even if it’s kind of cheesy.

Yoosung: I don’t know how to help with that.

And...For good measure he sends his regular starry eyed emoji before continuing his text, unaware his pause caused you more anxiety.

Yoosung: You’re already more masculine than me!

It’s an honest answer.

If anyone else had said it you wouldn’t have believed them, you would have chalked it up to them just wanting to humor you, but coming from someone like Yoosung you were inclined to believe him.

Jumin:

You’re happy.

Happier now then you had been in a while.

Perhaps for the first time ever truly in your life.

It didn’t mean you still didn’t have troubles, or anxieties.

Like now.

Even as you’re holding onto Jumin’s arm you can’t help but feel a little...self conscious at his side.

It’s nothing he or his business partners have done, that’s just how it is sometimes, especially when dysphoria is involved.

There’s nothing to cause it.

Sometimes it’s just sudden.

Something about being in the room with a bunch of rich and powerful men, although as Jumin’s husband you too are technically a rich and powerful man, makes you feel bad about yourself.

You manage to find a moment in between the conversation to quietly interject,

“Excuse me, Gentlemen, I’m going to go to the restroom.”

There’s nothing off putting about the statement. The meeting had been going on for about an hour now, it was only natural someone at the meeting would need to excuse themselves.

No one thinks anything of it.

No one but Jumin.

And since you’re leaving you don’t notice you’re being watched. You don’t see the way Jumin’s dark eyes follow your form as you leave.

Having anxiety meant that running away to hide in bathrooms, or any other private space you could find, wasn’t exactly uncommon.

It’s nothing new.

You avoid the sight of the mirrors, your own reflection, like the plague as you make your way to a stall, quickly closing it and taking a deep breath.

A moment of peace, a moment to regain your thoughts. That’s all you needed.

Although you know it’s unlikely anyone in the meeting had bad thoughts about you, and even less likely they’d voice them around Jumin, it didn’t help the deep seeded paranoia. That somehow everyone knew you were trans, and that because of them knowing they viewed you as less than them.

And Jumin could only do so much to protect you. He hadn’t asked you to even come along on this trip, you’d been the one to offer, wanting to stop hiding in the shadows but…

People talk.

Tabloids talk.

The more you find yourself stuck alone in the stall trying to force yourself to calm down the more worked up you become.

When someone finally knocks on the stall you almost jump out of your skin entirely.

“Uh-” You clear your throat, and try to make your voice sound deeper in your anxiety. “Occupied?”

A familiar sigh sounds from behind the door, and instantly your shoulders droop with lessened anxiety.

“____?”

“...Yeah.”

As soon as you’ve opened the stall door you’re pulled tightly into a hug.

Jumin doesn’t necessarily understand exactly what you’re going through, you both know it. You’ve tried to explain dysphoria to him before, and although he understands the basics that’s all really...and to be fair it’s not as if a cis person ever could truly understand what gender dysphoria is like…

But that didn’t mean he wasn’t going to do everything in his power to make you feel better.

And at least, no matter how you saw yourself, you knew Jumin saw you as his husband.

[archivedatl]

Old Blogs

Howdy. I’ve noticed some concern over the loss of my old blogs here n’ there so I decided to post all of them in one large, comprehensive blog-a-verse. Hope this brings a smile to a few faces. Our Street Corners Keep Secrets This is me asking for a brick to be thrown through my window,
a message attached that reads, "Why can’t you just wake up?"
I am not a star,
don’t look up to me in hopes of finding something more.
That which is out of reach does not promise anyone a goddamn thing.
Hope arises in possibility,
but possiblity is fragmented and selfish,
so don’t think for a second that I am safe ground to walk on.
I will sink beneath the feet of a thousand travelling companions,
and make ruin of any city’s foundations,
because concrete and steel can never tell a soul how it feels.
Our street corners keep secrets, and our road signs only suggest,
never deciding for us,
never knowing if the destination to which they lead,
is where we truely belong.
Life’s greatest tragedy is not that it will some day end,
but that most of us just live to follow directions,
and many times we end up totally lost. I am a landmine. Sometimes I break down so hard you can hear it, and when I can stand to come near it with means to repair, the chances of walking out unscathed are slim to none.
I know because I’m one; a victim of second-hand breakdowns and bad impressions, made under intoxicated conditions with poorly lit expressions. And I regret not going back, I regret not missing flights, I regret not asking for more and taking chances that I can only hope will not be forgotten. My fingers are crossed.

I-O-U.

Now my telephone’s dead and I can’t stand to hold out like this, but I’m constantly checking myself so as not to be a burden. Anything too heavy eventually gets dropped, no matter the cost. Let me be light as a feather, but valued enough so as to remain in a back pocket, until those jeans need washing and I find my place on a bedside table, to be read aloud on nights when memories and prying needs return to haunt the foundations of this room.

Pick me up,
Read me every now and then,
I won’t disappoint.
*I am* witty and engaging so bless me with attention, because I’m *dying* for attention *without* any means of telling *you*. I’ll talk the talk, you take care of the rest. What up thugs?

I’m alive and well, realizing how eternally grateful I am for everything going on in my life day by day... Its a lot like learning to walk - at least, that’s how I’d like to think of it. We’ve all been there, so I won’t waste your time painting a pretty picture of how it all goes down...
I want to talk about other things...
First and foremost, I’ve come to understand that as of late there have been a lot of people finding this little piece of my life tucked away on the web; moreso than usual, and for that reason, I’d like to extend my proverbial hand to anyone and everyone who may have something - anything to say to me. Thank you for taking an interest in who I am and what I’m attempting to do with my life. I am opening myself up, as much as possible, to anyone who may be interested. All I ask is that whoever you may be, wherever you may be, understand that I am only human - two hands, ten fingers, and a life... I’ve received a few messages from people, upset that I haven’t been able to respond to their previous comments or private messages, and who now probably think less of me for it. I hope this isn’t the case, but its bound to happen. What I’m saying is that I don’t live my life on the internet... I’m sorry if there’s a message I never got around to responding to... I’m just not that good at keeping up with reality, let alone a virtual one. I will, however, try harder from now on... And understand that even if I don’t respond, I probably have read your message. I don’t just clear my inbox and move on. Thats plain rude. :)

To all my good friends,
the ones I should talk to more often,
the ones I left back home,
the ones I will never stop loving,
thank you for still hugging me when I come home...
I know I don’t always show it,
but I’m forever indebted to you all for everything you’ve ever done for me...

That brings me to my second point.
The closest friends you’ll ever have are the ones you’d take a bullet for,
but they’re the ones you constantly feel you could put a bullet in as well. ;)

Think about that one.

That’s it for now. I can’t believe I’m up at 5:14am. Touring has made me an insomniac, but I feel fucking great.

Have a good one y’all,

Me Lawyers and Liars I am a liar.
I am self absorbed.
I am in this for me.
I am seeking recognition.
I am not concerned with politics.
I am attempting to rise to the top.
I am never going to forget my intentions.
I am allowed to worry about my own life above the lives of others.

-------AFTER ALL---------

I am human. Part Deux: Colors, Sounds and Feather-Downs 
Current mood: happy I had a long, goofy conversation several weeks ago with an interesting girl who I haven’t seen since, in a diner I have yet to revisit, but it stirred up some thoughts that I found pretty interesting. Maybe I’m just nuts. Anyhow, the discussion began on a simple basis; I inquired as to what her favorite color might be. She said she didn’t know. I replied, "How can you not know? Its a simple question." -- She paused, looking sort of surprised, as if someone had never pressed her for an answer before, and then replied, "Well... It changes... Today its yellow."

I didn’t know what to say...
I didn’t understand.

How can your favorite color just change?
What happened to yesterday’s favorite color?
If, on a whim, something of such esteem and value can be replaced with another, then on what grounds was it ever of any more value to begin with?
When I was little, my favorite color was green. It stayed that way, no matter what I said to be trendy at the time (IE. 8th grade was my "black is such a raw and expressive pigment" phase, but everyone goes through that shit.) As of late, I’ve become more partial to blue - Light blue in particular, but that’s not that important. My point is that something happened that caused me to send green packing, and to fall absolutely head-over-heels for blue.
(Stay with me on this...)
Now, such a dramatic change in attraction doesn’t just happen - I mean shit, I know we’re only talking about colors here, but this kind of switch-a-roo has only happened ONCE in my entire life. Green ---> Blue. Just like that. Must mean somthing, right?
Pablo Picasso went through a "blue period", at which time he was broke and mourning the loss of a dear friend. There’s a similarity there somewhere.
Please don’t get me wrong, I am by no means depressed, nor do I have any reason to be, but perhaps color - every, individual hue, represents to each of us a state of being, and in turn, helps us to deal with whatever it is we may be going through. I’m not talking mood-ring shit here. What I mean is that there are things - simple things - that without our knowing, mean the world to us and when they change, they change for our own good, because whether we like it or not, we are looking out for ourselves. We do it unconsciously - But we do it. We do it to stay happy and to stay alive... And above all else, that’s what matters.
On this note, I’d like to attempt to make my point - Don’t throw yourself out on another’s whim. People change, as do intentions and as a result, consequences. Live for yourself - love those around you, but realize that they’ve got their own agendas. People will screw you - You will screw people... Green ---> Blue. Get it? I’m not sure I do... Always consider that your life will venture in new directions, but be aware that other’s will do the same, and in accordance, understand that to be happy, people must exist in their own light, cast in and of themselves, not by the light of their peers. Conflict will arise because of this. Conflict is to be expected; conflict is a part of life. Find ways to work through conflict, even if it means picking a new favorite color...


I hope this makes a little sense.


I’m tired and rambling, and perhaps just a misguided fool, but I think there’s something in this - something that I am learning and accepting as my fingers punch these keys to an inviting, hypnotic rhythm. I feel like they’re leading me somewhere, and I’ve decided to follow.

____I’m going to bed. Take from this what you will.

Love,

Alexander William Gaskarth

*I feel fine* The first of many, I hope. 
Current mood: happy So I’ve decided to spill it; the beans, the juice, my guts... Whatever you want to call it, consider it spilled. Up to this point, I feel like I’ve done an excellent job of keeping just about everything true about myself, to myself... and for good reason - what people don’t know, people can’t use against you. I guess that’s my first confession. I fucking despise the way people operate. The way people go out of their way to find things out, only to throw them senselessly (BLINDLY) into conversation later. I don’t know if its intentional, (I guess that sometimes it is and sometimes it isn’t,) but frankly, it gets to me. Its the same kind of prying aggravation I feel when someone starts moving shit around in my car, or on my computer table. Stop putting hills in my rugs! Please. Call me OCD but if I put something somewhere, chances are, I wanted it there and it should remain that way. Its the same for anyone else. Let one’s own business remain that way. Anyway. I’ve fallen into a depression lately - not emotionally per say, but I feel like my ability to open up to people has peaked over the past two years. I used to be so ready to say anything, without caring how it affected me, but recently I’ve become so protective of myself, not because I’m afraid of getting hurt by others, but because I might make myself look bad. It’s disgusting. I never used to be so self-absorbed. Its like in every situation, I’m wearing a mask... Not just one mask, in fact, but many masks; Masks to hide masks between people - to hide certain sides of myself from those who disapprove where others don’t. I try so hard to win the approval of everyone. Why? Fucked if I know. I just love being the center of attention I guess. And all this time I thought myself to be humble. No sir. But then, who really is humble? Everyone wants to be loved, right? So am I wrong in looking out for my own well being? Who knows? It makes me sick to my stomach, regardless. I’ve unknowingly stumbled across so many insecurities lately that I feel like a different person at times. It’s like I’ve been born all over again, to a world where I have to carry myself differently. I’m still opinionated, I’m still eagerly in search of answers, but my motives have changed. I do it for myself now; for the praise and admiration I earn as a result of my actions, not for the simple pleasure found in just "doing it". Maybe its all just part of growing up, as they say. Maturing... You know? But does it continue to change? Will I stop acting like such an asshole? Who knows. It worries me. I don’t want to be like this, but its who I’ve become... What’s worse is that I don’t know who or what to blame for the transformation. That would be too easy, right? I digress. I’ve got a lot of things on my plate. My dreams are coming true right before my very eyes - I have a band - We’re going somewhere - This time next year I hope I’m far, far away from this place. I want to see Japan. I’ve wanted to see Japan for a while now; call it a calling. Haha. I don’t know what I want when I get there - I don’t even like the hustle of big cities for too long. Gives me a headache. But there’s something about it. I’ll see it soon enough. The repetition of every day life kills. It ruins the flow of my creative juices. No joke. On days that I sleep in, I go to bed feeling exhausted, and yet, I never sleep on the weekends, when I should want rest. I don’t. It would be a waste of freedom. Why spend time on parole in seclusion, you know? I’m only tired on weekdays - only when I know I have to drag myself out of my fucking room to take a shower and go to school, and then to work. Maybe I’m not tired. Maybe it’s just a natural defense against running myself into the ground with routine. I feel pale, and sick, and run down... For no reason. I eat right. I see the light of day. I breathe fresh air all the time. I love the outdoors. Shit. I love my life. But between Monday and Thursday I feel so transient... My head isn’t in the clouds - My feet aren’t on the ground. Where am I? I don’t know, but frankly, it sucks. I have some good friends. We get hammered sometimes and forget about everything. The occasional dramatic scene is worth it. People naturally don’t get along with one another. It’s all a matter of how tolerant people are. I have some tolerant friends. In turn, I think I put up with my share of bullshit. It’s like a cycle of tough loving. But it works. It keeps me sane. In the end I think we really do love each other. Awww. I also like to kiss people. It gets me into trouble sometimes. Whatever. Certain individuals need to stop looking for love in the wrong places. --I can’t talk. --I’ve found love in the worst places. --Its not an easy thing to deal with. --Doesn’t change the way I feel about them. --Its ok. --As long as I’m happy. There I go being selfish again. ___I’m done confessing for now. Take from this what you will. Love, Alexander William Gaskarth *I feel better.*

[grimreich666]

So once again we are to this point when it comes to the Christina + Ruby server drama. Now I realize I made a YouTube video that explained my disgust of certain Fanfic Writers writing community of Lovecraft Country that write for the Ruby and Christina fandom that's ran by Kswhateverspace and Hernameisjaye. Now know it looks like I bullied somebody but that's far from the case, as every action has a reaction. Now because the situation I wasn't going to go too much into it until, someone told me about the twisted mess both Kwhateverspace and the other admins were saying. And it had come to alot of my members attention that they done stuff with members in the past and it has clearly made people unhappy to a point where they aren't talking in thier own server. When it comes to the Ruby plus Christina server owned by Kwhateverspace, I joined with decent intentions and it thought it was a community that shared a love for Christina and Ruby, but it turned out to be a Sixth-Grade Mean Girls Special on Crack. I never wanted it to get to a racial points between servers, but it is looking like these white women with a Misguided Black Woman as thier Server Owner, obviously do not know what true racism is and how to handle their power as Admins and accept others opinions. And the saddest part is that not just me but other members have been kicked out for absolutely no reason and I don't know if anybody seen Kswhateverspace Blog. But everything on there is just about a lie, she claims that all of us violated the rules but nobody was given any warning before being kicked out. Now mind you I do know that the rules exist but the rules should have been implemented for more extremer conditions, but none of us members took it to that level. The issue that I have with the other server is their ability not to gauge a situation at any kind of frequency of balance as they just kick off people who they don't like. A friend of mine who's in my Discord now got kicked for absolutely saying a joke it was nothing that was malicious or ill intent to these people, and while I get that respecting their mental health as Fan Fic writers is a thing to do, me and others always supported before we started reading racist ass Ruby and Chirstina fics. This friend of mine was enthusiastic about reading their stories and very supportive and we all kept a good positive energy that could be see in my current Discord. The issue that the Admins on the Christina + Ruby Server is that they made someone's enthusiasm for a story seem like it was an issue with harassment and that was not cool eespically when she meant it in a LOL kind of way. There was no reason for her to get kicked off just like there was no reason for my other friends to get kicked off and there was no reason for ME to get kicked off. I understand people were all into safe spaces and making safe spaces but as Admins they should've addressed thier complaints to people in warnings, but the kicked people for simply commenting. Thus making thier own server and its members uncomfortable to be themselves and thats when becomes a dangerous place and if I hadn't of known that I would've never ended my own server to expose my friends to their toxicity. The issue between the Admins is that pride themselves on being Admins, but the lack leadership skills and comprehension skills necessary for it. For me as an Admin if there was an issue with a person's comments I would talk to them in Dm's and warn them. So for them to say that they're not big on public warnings that is fine, but when you do not privately warn somebody for a simple comment and for them to get kicked the next day something isn't right. Also how can a behavior improve if there is no communication between an Admin and their members? Me as an Admin I dont function that way, I always take the time if someone comes to me with a complaint to address the person on DMs. And if you read Kwhateverspaces blog on the issue and the screenshots nothing she says parallels to the intent in which these comments where said.

The issue that I have with this group is there ability to flex around their power an act like we had did something so wrong when we were simply just expressing our opinions. And we were well within our respectable means to address our opinions in the saddest part is that these admins are white within a predominantly black server and they do not get our way of culture.

Now as for the next member who was kicked it was totally uncalled for as she questioned why I was gone due to the fact that I told Hernameisjaye to learn her Black History due to the fact that she and another member Agent Sheryl did not understand why I did not think Christina was racist I had a whole You Tube Video about it. So they knew my opinion on it and why they chose to double team me on an opinion was so uncalled for. So when I made the comment that I'm sorry if I dont want to be black and militant to a character that I dont find as racist she flipped out on me, and kicked me I never called her anything I told her the truth and if you've seen my YT people know I could've taken it alot further with these Birdbrain Hoes. Nevertheless until a certain point I thought we were having a decent civil discussion, yet she took it out of context very fast when I said what I did and as for the Black History factor you could see that they were giving no concern to it and only cherry picking my words to make me seem antagonistic to them, as I was telling them about the harm that white women had done in history vs Christina Braithwhite. Now mind you I had told Hernameisjaye several times that she is entitled to her opinion and I was entitled to mine and it's as you could see on the time stamps. At one point I thought it was a civil discussion, that was until I got kicked out for it. It's clear that these Admins have no commonsense to read a room and come to a basic agreement, even as I was telling them they have an opinion and I have mine and I respect it. And yes I was mad for the kick and I did warn Kswhateverspace that I would be going to my platform with it and she even gave her approval of it as I do have the screen shots for that as well.

Hernameisjaye along with Agent Sheryl had been going on a Christina is racist rant for two days, and both were very antagonistic to those in the Serious Discussions Discord Server, who engaged her. I even went so much so to agree with her just to shut her up, yet she kept on at agonizing me and another member to the point of harassment. It was clear that they had spoken about us, before as they were so ready to kick us AGAIN WITH OUT WARNING US PRIOR. Now I will be continuing the Dandybear situation on part two. However I find it messy that these Admins cherry picked our conversations that me and the other member thought where civil and tried to turn it into something uncivilized on our end. This is the same kind of intent that always happens when it comes to black and white people, it always happens that a white person says something out of line and then when black person gets mad then they act as if the black person had antagonized and started the situation. Hernameisjaye is really sad at this point to try a tactic like that, and it's detrimental that shes allowed racism into her group, but has dropped the people that meant her no harm with there opinions as FELLOW BLACK WOMEN.

The Admins Kwhateverspace and Hernameisjaye claim that they want freedom for people to express themselves, but they act like bullies when the situation is not to their favor. Yet it was after the fact that told a lie and still continue to tell one after another member and I were kicked, that made the situation worse. You can read the screenshots of my responses on Kwhateverspaces blog or this one qnd you can clearly see I did nothing in the wrong, as I was coming at Hernameisjaye as one black woman to another. And if she had talked to me in DMs and cleared things out maybe I would've apologized for the comment even if I personally thought I wasn't wrong for it, as I had no shame in my game to apologize even when I'm not wrong.

YET the point I cant stand the most is that they overreacted to a statement I made, and yet they allowed a racist fan fic writer to stay in group. It is clear these Admins don't have thier heads on straight as they kick us out for having a simple opinion or objection to common discussion. Now I do understand there is a level of what Admins can take and what they cannot take, but when you do not make those boundaries clear and when other members make their boundaries clear when your antagonizing them, and you still keep doing it theres something wrong with you as a leader. All I have to say is look at the screenshots and out responses to ours.

[painted-crow]

I haven't been on tumblr in a hot century so it feels a little weird to be writing a submission to you... but I just bingeread most of this blog and your way of explaining the shc system is so gloriously comprehensible that I really want to pour my brain out at your feet and have you explain the bits to me.

I hope life is treating you well and thank you for the awesome blog you run. The way you describe things and the way you help people sort themselves is clear and clever and so very kind of you to do, and that's what I appreciates about you. :)

(This was a chunk of a submission from someone who ended up sending in a second version that I answered in depth, but the fan mail portion from this first version was so sweet that it seems mean to just delete it. So here it is, as a #cutie post. 😊)

[drangues]

ansbwjjcnw I still gotta read it but my motivation to Do New Shit is. So very low right now. All I want are naps. BUT I’m sure an art of Tangled!Dazatsu from you would look really nice, if you decide to draw it! ALSO GOOD LUCK ON YOUR TEST IM ROOTING FOR YOU, make sure you get enough sleep and eat something filling!!! Anyways, let’s be honest- Dazai and Chuuya only get worse when their attention flustered their boyfriends. (Nyanon, 1/7)

This is because (A) they think Flustered BFs are fucking adorable, and also (B) they know this means that their boyfriends haven’t been appreciated much and that means War (on their low self image). Also I love the implication that rich kid!Dazai and Chuuya’s natural reaction to being Pissed at each other is to spoil Atsushi or Akutagawa. It’s great. And! That is: EXACTLY. What I’m saying. (Nyanon, 2/7)

I can imagine them as that one post of the writer and the artist throwing chapters and pictures at each other, ahaha. Dazai practically being the embodiment of a chaotic author is Very Fitting, he writes when he writes and in whatever genre strikes him. No, there’s no need to worry about him, he’s definitely not living on coffee and spite alone. And Atsushi is definitely the type to mostly stick to fluffy drawing, I think! (Nyanon, 3/7)

He can definitely do other things, but he probably finds drawing cute stuff comforting. Also Kyouka likes the super cute ones and he’s pretty much willing to draw whatever to keep the baby sis happy. I also imagine that he’d do commissions? Because it never hurts to have an additional source of income. Except he’s a pushover when people tell him his prices are “too high” or something, so Kyouka has to put her foot down and tell him to Not give in, haha. (Nyanon, 4/7)

(It’s okay Dazai, I’m an attention whore to. I want to be complimented too much.) And! Poor Atsushi, haha, he probably wasn’t expecting his favorite author to say he liked his art? He probably keysmashes and then draws a cute little doodle for another one of Dazai’s fics and then Dazai is just. Gone. Also ten bucks says that their first DM interaction is Dazai saying something memey. It just feels like something he’d do. (Nyanon, 5/7)

And a bonus: Kyouka does really deep analyses of different shows and books and games, and occasionally on fanfiction as well. Kunikida makes a comprehensive, huuuge post on the lore Igor different series because I feel like he’d enjoy doing something like that? Just like, organizing the background and making it more understandable, if that makes sense? I’m not sure what Chuuya would but I get the distinct sense of someone who makes edits and aesthetics from Akutagawa. (Nyanon, 6/7)

Yosano and Ranpo both probably have that weird “list of questionable shit the authors need answers to” blog or something... I’m in too deep. Help. But! Have another Concept: Faking dating jealousy cliche, with Dazatsu and Chuuaku. Basically, Chuuya decides that he and Atsushi should pretend to be a couple to see if it’ll get their crushes attention. Cue confusion and jealousy from Dazai and Akutagawa, who may or may not have realized their own feelings. (Nyanon, 7/7)

dude dont worry i was joking there no pressure!! and felt. right now im so sleep deprived and studying for a test and i have oTHER ASSIGNMENTS TO DO- its all draining, and i mainly feel bad because i havent posted any art, but i do know that fandom is not a job but a hobby and its okay that i take my time

also kyouka being his number one supporter is just!! so!! cute!!! in my opinion kyouka would be that very young but hella good with technology in the fandom like, she would make gifs and edits in an INSTANT and when everyone learns shes fourteen theyre like W H A T?? either way, shes the one who probably shows atsushi the ropes of digital art and has the vibes of that young tech person in a show that definitely can hack into any government files. (as a joke she would most definitelly do an edit of “dazai” except its just screenshots of his fics and some lines here and there with some dramatic effects and sexy music. atsushi wont admit that he has it downloaded)

dazais way to start a conversation is definitely sending a random meme to get it going, since atsushi would be too shy to initiate conversations

also kyouka doing deep analysises is so her!! she would probably even start a youtube channel where she explains everything in that robot voice and funny editing but no one can lie that all her videos are very in depth.

OH GOD KUNIKIDA IS THE TYPE TO GATHER ALL THE FACTS OF A SHOW, POST ABOUT IT. EXPLAIN THE MAGIC SYSTEM FOR ANYONE THATS CONFUSED. IF THERES AN ANIME WITH A CONFUSING PLOT THAT YOU DONT KNOW HOW TO EXPLAIN?? KUNIKIDA IS YOUR MAN. HE CAN EXPLAIN ALL OF JOJO SEAMLESSLY AND DOES MANY REVIEWS ON ANIMES AND GATHERS ALL SORTS OF LORES MEANWHILE YOSANO AND RANPO ARE THE MORE CRACKHEADED ANALYSTS (when the three collab its just kunikida trying to be serious while yosano and ranpo do the fuckboy lip bite behind him and then throw in jokes and “author if you do not explain why these two characters are a little too fruity ill personally use my chainsaw on you” “why are these two siblings even together, wHY ARE THEY IN THE SAME BED-”)

dude. i feel like chuuya and atsushi would fake date and it would be for akutagawa. atsushi definitely wants to tell dazai about this but chuuya is afraid dazai will run his dumb mouth, plus when they “announce” it chuuya just Sees how dazais demeanor changes and is like “you know what,,lets keep this up” (either way akutagawa would end up crying like a loser in front of chuuya and chuuya would feel so bad for even fake dating to make him jealous meanwhile dazai is just mad that he couldnt have internalised his feelings and bottle them up “you just H A D to date the slug, my biggest pet peeve!!! if it was anyone else i wouldve MAYBE let it sLIDE-”)

[atiny-piratequeen]

The wildest shit about this is that I trusted at least one of you. Put some faith and comfort into the notion that as someone with a position of power, you'd care and listen to other people's pains and concerns. Your people's pains and concerns. If someone had their own reason why they personally couldn't, there's still more than enough people around that person who could've picked up on why it was wrong instead of just going "I can't understand" and letting that be the shield to all that yall caused.

It was stated that it was a joint effort. Worked on than more than one person. So more than just the one person should've been able to step up and acknowledge that maybe yall fucked up.

People trusted you to fix the problems you caused, as admins thats what you're supposed to do. Not spit in everyone's faces in a scrambled attempt to hide and cover up all you've did wrong, speak to people like their idiots for not fully being on the same wavelength as you when your instructions weren't as clear as you believe them to be ("if you dont like our prompts, you could use your own" was never explicitly stated, but you'd like to act like it was implied and treated people like idiots for not knowing that), insult peoples "critical thinking" and "reading comprehension" skills, when at the same time, you're apparently also not thinking critically or reading when people are telling you that the prompts alone were enough to set off trauma and panic attacks, go out of your way to not even communicate fully with members of your own net with the full, un redacted story as to what happened and why things were canceled, and then one of the admins, again someone in a position of power who's supposed to protect and make sure their people are heard and okay, dumbing down concerns to "keyboard warriors" and people with "too much time".

Yall terminated me and bypassed the three strike system completely, even though nothing I said would have even warranted one strike. Yall falsely accused me of being someone who needed to hide on anon, even though I happily offered to clear my name and send the net an ask to confirm I didn't send yall shit. I still dont know who had it in their rabbit ass mind that I would need to hide on anon to antagonize or talk shit when i said what I had to say TO an admin. TO their face, but if baseless accusations and me "disagreeing" with your event and how its handled is enough to completely terminate me and bypass the rules yall put into place, so be it, I guess.

If we're going the throwing around anon hate accusations, tho, I'll bring up myself how at least two people have said that since they spoke up about this Monster Smash event being triggering to them and not being okay with it, they too, got anon hate.

Gaia had to deactivate yet another account after seemingly being locked out of it/hacked from it for hours, to find her box full of anon hate for having the audacity~ to speak up against the infallible Halloween event uwu uwu.

But I'm blocked, once again, so I cant even see if any of yall have addressed that. Given all the other things yall have swept under the rug and hidden and just spit in the face of, i doubt yall would address that, anyway.

Ksmutclub, I've been with you for years. Ive grown through nets like you that I felt were like family, I've looked up to Admin C for years, praised how she handles tough situations and protects us members and writers alike and I dont know if she's had anything to do with this, or who exactly was right and proper involved, but Im disappointed and honestly still baffled. Yall are not the home I was comfortable being in for years. I hope this Halloween event was worth how many people yall unnecessarily hurt along the way.

[psychemoss]

hey I hope y'all are ok. I just saw Jack's new callout and it's very stupid, they're like "I'll censor the names of the minor" but literally names you Moss like 3 pictures in lol? and it falls to that age-old callout cliche of putting the least important things at the top, like the beginning points are such reaches it's unfathomable how anyone can buy it. also blatantly lies about things which is a strange decision since the accompanying pics expose those lies immediately

yeah. this entire situation grew wildly out of hand and was filled with exaggerations and blatant lies, taking things out of context and shuffling around dates and incidents, mixing and matching events that didn’t go together and claiming them as fact. im surprised anyone who read it start to finish thought it was anything comprehensive, so many of their claims conflicted with themselves and they ended up just upping the severity of the accusations any time someone asked. the entire incident was built on a foundation of a petty grudge, and that’s heartbreaking. its heartbreaking it got this far.

ive been taking a break from most social media for the time being. since this incident destroyed most of my support systems i really dont have anything to turn to and its really having a toll on me, especially with knowing someone we thought was a friend was going behind our backs and feeding the fire. i mean, really, what do you say to that? how do you respond to when your worst fears and paranoias end up to be true?

i hope everyone who took part in this is proud of themselves. i hope theyre proud in what theyve done here. i hope they go on, and i hope theyre happy, genuinely. i hope they got the outcome they were looking for so that this can be over. i hope we’re done beating this topic into the ground. i hope theyre happy to keep me blocked. i hope people are done sending anons that stoke the flames. i hope people stop trying to drag unrelated blogs into this drama. i hope this situation can end, and maybe one day theyll know where they were wrong, or maybe they wont, and thats okay.

i was distraught at first. i didnt understand how or why this was happening. i didnt get how jacks crew ever thought they were in the right with this, especially in calling out a servers community they werent part of. but im not mad anymore, truly. im just disappointed. im disappointed in the immaturity which governed this discussion. im disappointed in the constant exploitation of my existence that points made. im disappointed that they took jokes between friends and accused them of being grooming or worse. im disappointed in how people used the most underhanded fearmongering, paranoia-inducing, manipulative tactics to get their point across. but im not upset, not anymore. now im just tired.

this incident was a hard reminder that empires are made to fall. and yeah, itll hurt, itll sting like hell and itll raise questions of whats next, but at the end of the day im sure that those who have lost something here are going to find new footings eventually and find a new community where they can feel safe or at home.

eventually, things will be okay.

[thesharondefenseleague]

mlm imo werent sexualized to the degree that wlw were in most canon media mostly because of the male gaze. Gay and Lesbian relationships or moments got very limited representation. One was probably more sympathetic but also heart breaking like say brokeback mountain. One was explicit but depicted as grotesque or twisted or perverted or immoral in some way. And the last version was the titillating version. In western media because of the assumed straight male gaze lesbians making out to titlate guys was a common thing like say in Jennifer's body. The equivalent of that with guys wasnt really that common not in western media. Not that wlw couldn't like that content but it was made to be fanservice for men .

So thats what I kind of mean by wlw were sexualized at least in western media. This equivalent with mlm in fandom never really existed they never made out for girls to find hot in the same way. It was never marketed like oh look hot guys making out. Fandom did that but not canon.

As for comic book men being sexualized kind of. There is definitely the unrealistic beauty standards but theres that debate of was it for the purpose of titillating women? Or a result of toxic masculinity putting this unattainable unsustainable goal for men. Maybe both? But both in comics and the movies they are based on the posing and clothing and moments with women get made to clearly sexualize them . It especially ovbious with comics with them twisting their bodies so their boobs and butts are jutting out. Or like movie moments like Bruce landing in Natasha's clevage. Or angles where you are staring down a female character's shirt or she has a boob window for some contrived reason. Or just reasons to give full page spreads of them in skimpy clothing.

Its rare men get depicted like this or posed like this. And when they do it often stands out because its not the norm. It's something unique. Not true with men. Even in form fitting spandex they are often posed and framed to make to make them look powerful or intelligent or to reveal things about their character.

Again not that men never get sexualized or that fanservice is always bad. Or that its not a concern that men are having these terrible body image issues. But just that for women for the sexualization its so pervasive and constant was my point.

Its just as bad in wlw in canon as it is for women in relationships with men in canon when it comes to that sexualization but i hear so much more about the problems about the wlw ship than the mlw ship. Like to use DC as a example i hear so much about how people sexualized or mishandle harleyivy but compared to that i hear very little about batcat in comparison even though Catwoman is often just as sexualized in that ship.

As for misogyny in shipping wars yes it definetly exists and is a problem as is racism and homophobia. But my issue is mostly that the problem isnt because the main popular ships are mlm. But so often I see the argument framed that way.

Like shipping wars existed between m/w ships and still do today. And they are still often pretty misogynistic towards the woman in the other ship. I don't even have to look at other fandoms I remember Steggy vs Starton getting real ugly.

Mysogny in fandom doesn't uniquely pop up when mlm are the more popular ship. Its often just as bad in fandoms where m/w is the popular ship. But people just bring it up alot more they make it bout valuing the men over the women .

Well i mean that goes both ways you could say its homophobic for valuing the straight ship as better than the gay one or liking it more. But either way its stupid they dont care bout sexism or homophobia only that their ship is more popular.

Thats the sentiment of all ship wars the gender dynamics and racial make up change nothing. Nothing except the bullshit you use for the ship war.

The problem is that people are being homophobic and mysogynistic and racist not just in regards to fictional characters but towards real people just to win a ship war. It comes out so easily. Thats the problem imo.

Mysogny for example i think isnt discussed as much when its a m/w vs m/w ship war or drama because as both ships have women it can't be used to slander the other ship. But when its drama between fans of a m/m and m/w it comes out alot again not because anyone really cares but because now because one ship lacks a woman it can be used as fodder for what people actually care about. Tearing down the other ship.

Again not that mlm fandom doesnt have mysogny. They definetly do. But they aren't mysogynistic because they ship two guys together. Thats not proof they hate women. Having a ship with women isnt proof that you aren't sexist towards women. There might be homophobia in fandoms of mlm ships and mysogny in fandoms of m/w ships.

But in the drama between a m/w and m/m ships that doesn't get brought up because no one cares if that problem can't be used to show that someone only doesn't ship your ship if they are bigoted against it. Who cares about misogyny if your ship is two guys? Who cares about homophobia if your ship is straight?

No one because they cared about the popularity of their ship not the actual issues.

Gonna under under the cut for length again.

This is a lot to read so I'm gonna respond paragraph by paragraph and hope for the best in terms of comprehension.

When it comes to media made about the LGBTQ+ community, you have to keep in mind when it was made, who made it, and who was it made for. And that it's been shown that straight women have had the same reactions to mlm content as straight men to wlw content. QaF was dumbfounded to find that the majority of their audience was straight women when the show's sex scenes were 95% between two or more men and yet that's what they ran with because hey, it got the views. The views of mlm and wlw content in the mainstream media before then was minimized, despite how fucked a lot of the other content could be. If by "most canon media" being directed at the male gaze being summer blockbusters, and more specifically comic book movies, then sure. If we step out of that box, then not really. The film examples you chose are interesting because BB is portrayed exactly how the author of the original short story wrote it which was meant to be heartbreaking since it was a tragic dramatic piece while JB has a woman who wrote and another woman who directed it while purposefully trying to allow to actress to have a level of sexuality without exploiting her as past directors have (also neither of the main characters are lesbians - one is bi, the other I think is straight but maybe questioning?).

The sexualization of wlw in modern western media is definitely a thing. I mean, the first Iron Man film has stewardesses on the private jet pole dancing if I remember correctly. It took until 2016 to stop sexualizing Scarlett in every movie: the changing scene in IM2, the lowered zipper in A1, the ass shot in Cap 2, the boob faceplant in AoU (in your third paragraph, but mentioning it here anyway). It's a joke that you know when a man directs a wlw indie film during the sex scenes. But the mlm equivalent did exist alongside it, and it's what kicked off the century.

Comics and their movies were always for men. The male bodies are male wish fulfilment for their physical appearance. The women are male wish fulfilment for their dream girls. Funnily enough, one of the least sexualized women in comics I've ever read is Sharon. She's rarely, if ever, drawn to be sexualized for the audience. I'm not even sure she's even been in those swimsuit issues Marvel did years ago. And it shows heavily that Marvel struggles to know how to appeal to women without being aggressively in your face about it. The best example of them appealing without pandering is WV, and the worst is the group shots the Russos did in IW and Endgame, especially the latter.

But the men get those poses in the movies too. Thor bathed shirtless for no reason in TDW. There's a scene in Endgame dedicated to talking about Steve's ass. Pratt in GotG. Rudd in Ant-Man. Most actors are expected to look good shirtless and put themselves through intense shit to look that way. So do the women, but they aren't doing it to have the glamor shots of their muscles. And the MCU is not the only film franchise like this. Most, if not all, franchises with majority or entirely male leads expects them all to look like bodybuilders. And I'm gonna take back that it's just for the male audience, because these bodies are meant to appeal to women who are intended to thirst for these actors too. They think these bodies is what will bring women to the theaters.

None of this will change, as you say, that women's sexualization is "constant and pervasive". The film industry is just a part of the larger whole of media. Television and advertising have a treatment of women that's beyond whatever you or I say because there are decades worth of shit to go through that would take dozens of essays worth of writing to fully divulge beyond "please stop it's gross".

Now DC is a whole other ballgame. They're pretty infamous for their artists' sexualization of heroines and villainesses. Harley, Ivy, and Selina are definitely pretty bad, but when I remember what I've seen drawn of Kara, Kori, or sometimes Barbara... But outside of one artist, I think Harley and Ivy as a couple have been drawn tamely. Can't say the same for Selina, because they just can't not draw every part of her body even when she's fully clothed.

I think it's hard not to talk about fandom misogyny outside of m/m ships because of how often popular m/m shippers have rooted their shipping into misogyny. And even with m/f ship wars, a lot of the time the "faulted" character is always the woman when majority of the time it's the man who sucks. I don't get why everyone is fighting for who should kiss Steve because Steve sucks and they'd be better off without him. But because Steve is the object of affection for our fave, we have to fight off everyone else.

Don't look at other fandoms for m/f ship wars. We don't appreciate how tame we were, even at our worst. I'm serious, I've seen so much worse.

I think why the topic of misogyny comes up more with m/m ships is because they follow a similar principle of the male characters being more developed in canon and fanon so it's who people gravitate towards.

There is definitely layers of homophobia in fandom, but there's many versions of how we see it. Homophobes who won't ship anything that's not m/f. Homophobes who ship m/m but won't support IRL rights. People who love m/m but abhor f/f, and vice-versa. The shippers who use them for personal fodder. But the sexism is more prevalent than the homophobia. And the racism way more than both combined.

And it does cause a lot of ammo, and much of it severely unjustified, in ship wars. Literally the bullshit I've seen pulled out of thin air to accuse Sharon of not being worthy because someone said she's a racist for [they literally had no reason just called her one because we said Sam and Sharon are friends because they are] and other nonsense.

The real world repercussions of the homophobia, the sexism, and the racism in fandom... there's just so much. Like we are all still people, and yet we decide because we hide behind screens to be antagonistic, and use homophobic, sexist, and racist shit to attack each other over ships just because we want to paint the other person as crazy, I guess? If you can't see that there are no enemies in ship wars and that the other side is still people, maybe you need to sit out and log off. It's baffling how often it still happens to people. Then it's no longer about ships, it's about who is an asshole.

I will say that Steve and Peggy vs Steve and Sharon is probably the only m/f ship war I've seen where misogyny is talked about. Is, not was, because it still is. Both sides call the others misogynistic. I don't think either side is, but you can see in individuals. Those who tweeted at a certain actress that she was a slut for kissing her costar certainly are though.

You are right that shipping m/m isn't inherently sexist. But tearing down women in those ships to prop up m/m has made me stop shipping certain characters altogether. People, seriously, we don't have to justify why we like them! We can just like them! And other characters can still exist! It's never been that deep.

And you're right, the popularity of the ship helps people ignore any deeper issues within them and this is a power used to silence valid criticism if it pops up.

(I hope I answered everything well for you.)

~Mod R

[ineffably-effable]

good omens fic recommendations

If you’re looking for coherent reviews you’ll be disappointed, but if you want a list of quality recommendations - with excerpts & some vague ramblings as to what the reader should be in the mood for - enjoy!

29 recommendations underneath the cut.

(17k) Something We Were Withholding Made Us Weak by triedunture 

Crowley and Aziraphale learn to move in tandem.

Mood: beautiful slow burn, misunderstandings, heartache that would be solved if someone taught these besotted idiots to communicate.

Paradox: Crowley has never risen from his seat and gone to stand behind someone at a counter, never put his arms around their middle and pulled them tight against him. Has never apologized with a touch, with a closeness, with the thin line of his body. So why does it occur to him that he might do that now? Might press up against Aziraphale from behind and rest his forehead on Aziraphale’s nape and ask silently to be forgiven. As if it’s the most natural thing in the world when he knows, intimately knows that it’s not.

(51k) how deep the sand by Handful_of_Silence

After the Apocalypse, and with characteristic slowness, both Crowley and Aziraphale think there might be something they need to sit down and talk about.

And then Aziraphale disappears.

Mood: tragic twist of fate, separation, hurt/comfort, guilt & devotion.

He thinks about the picnic they’d have had. He’d have pulled the top down from the Bentley and let the wind tussle his hair, the weather of a glorious August now gone warming his skin. They would have chatted, sitting carefully on a tartan blanket, and they’d have made their own plans.

They might have even found the right time to talk properly. Honestly. About everything that’s been, about the possibilities that could be now that everything’s different.

About maybe not going back to London. Going back to their Jobs.

About leaving it all behind, together.

The words Crowley didn’t say are clogging up his throat.

(14k) Made Flesh by rfsmiley / @redfacesmiley

AU in which Crowley is two entities, and Aziraphale isn’t sure how he feels about either of them.

Mood: oblivious idiots, daemon!fic-if-you-squint, pining & tamed desire.

Eleven years pass, attended by another marked change; the creature cannot bear to be out of the same room as Aziraphale. The angel, isolated and frayed as he is by the fear of the coming war, has no problems with this development – he needs the company – although sometimes he looks into the yellow eyes and feels the spear of a nameless sorrow. If it comes to it, Heaven will win, of course; the certainty, however, is bitter. He tries not to think about what will happen to Crowley, or to this small being that runs at his heels as he moves, gripped by a contagious agitation.

(8k) Ad Astra by drawlight / @drawlight

Some things can only be said in the dark.

Mood: beautiful prose, longing, ruthless inner-voices & insecurities.

Aziraphale swallows. His eyes hold Crowley’s. Crowley stands very still, wretched. Terrified. Watching Aziraphale’s very wide eyes, the open of the mouth. There is a softness in Aziraphale’s look, in the swallow of his throat. It could be? (It might not be.) He wants to scream it; he wants to say nothing at all. Let me stay in this bit of maybe. Maybe is not no, maybe means perhaps, someday. Maybe means you might feel the same. (You might not.)

(13.3k) Alegría by drawlight / @drawlight

After the End That Wasn’t, Heaven and Hell are leaving them alone. Entirely alone. (This is a story with nothing of miracles.)

Mood: beautiful prose, longing, ruthless inner-voices & insecurities + domesticity

(Yes, I know the mood is almost the same as above, but honestly this is @drawlight, what were you expecting? Read it if you want a Crowley that will absolutely wreck you & leave you heart-broken.)

Aziraphale is a touch-strong man. He touches everything (Crowley knows, he always watches). Aziraphale loves and he likes to love through his skin. His fingers on a particularly fine leather binding, dipping into the embossed author, the tooled name of the title. His hands breaking apart a loaf of Italian sourdough, fingers coming away with residual flour. Dipping his hands into sacks of grain, rubbing a fine weave of silk through. He touches Crowley too, in his usual and gentle way. The touch on the arm to still Crowley’s whiplash self, to make a point during an argument. Aziraphale who thinks nothing of oh, my dear, you’ve got an eyelash just there, let me get it for you. Crowley has a good memory. He catalogs them all, cross-examines them. Six-thousand years of maybes and what-ifs and what was thats ? But Aziraphale is just as easy with his touches on glass bottles while pulling out his favorite vintages. He touches his favorite fountain pen far more often than he reaches for Crowley. No, in context, it means nothing. It’s just Aziraphale as usual. Don’t look too closely, it doesn’t mean anything. It doesn’t.

(13k) small infinities and all that by JustStandingHere / @billypotts

Crowley and Aziraphale are turned human. This is the aftermath.

Mood: slow burn, domesticity, best friends falling in love & all the beautiful awkwardness that entails.

And there it is, isn’t it? Something they’ve known for a long time, but haven’t named it. Have been too scared to name it. Something that speaks in their bones, in the space between them.

(12k) the deft, sweet gesture of your hand by deadgreeks / @mortuarybees

Crowley arrives injured at Aziraphale’s door. He takes care of him, reads him an awful lot of Mary Oliver, and knits elaborate metaphors for his insecurities (literally).

Mood: beautiful writing, mixed signals, feeling unworthy of the millenia-long object of your affections, unable to create gifts that are good enough for the people you love and being in love with a complete idiot.

Aziraphale has tended to the sick and injured during periods of plague and war many times throughout his long life, and he tries to adopt the same kind-but-impersonal detachment as he carefully washes Crowley. It is slightly harder, Crowley being the sole object of six thousand years of repressed desire, but he’s also Aziraphale’s closest friend, and a person besides, so he does him the courtesy of not ogling his bare legs or torso as he goes.

(9.3k) Slow by write_away / @theirdarkreturning

Aziraphale and Crowley find themselves somehow married. Crowley fears going too fast. Aziraphale forges ahead. Neither know how to ask questions of each other.

Mood: Miscommunication, with a hefty side order of pining and the urge to yell at your screen in the vain hopes of getting through to these two idiots.

For Crowley - that was the demon’s name, and it’s best to memorize it quickly, before he changes it yet again - knew that the angel would love him if he just asked, and Aziraphale - the angel, though there’s no rush with him, there never really is - knew that the demon would take him in with open arms if he just asked. It’s just that neither of them were good at asking things of one another.

(14.7) Lead me to the banquet hall by obstinatrix, wishwellingtons

Crowley loves taking Aziraphale out to eat almost as much as Aziraphale loves eating, but it’s always a bit of a one-sided affair. Aziraphale has never understood why. Crowley planned on keeping it that way, but best laid plans…

Mood: wonderful footnotes, pining, creating a shrine to the object of your longing and then submitting to the mortifying ordeal of them finding it.

The thing about Aziraphale is quite simply this: Crowley can never have enough of him. God, Satan, everyone knows he’s tried. Crowley has spent centuries glutting himself on the sight of him only to be empty again days later, wondering whether it’s too soon to show his face in the bookshop. Aziraphale drifts from brasserie to bar in his quest to indulge in the best of human culinary expertise; Crowley follows after, because he knows Aziraphale will be there. It isn’t enough, but it’s something, and the only thing Crowley can ever expect.

(14.2k) all i need, darling, is a life in your shape       by deadgreeks / @mortuarybees

After everything, Aziraphale and Crowley, by unspoken agreement, begin sharing their lives.

Mood: domesticity with pining, chosen family, acts of love, boyfriend sweaters & idiots in love.

Aziraphale rolled his eyes indulgently, passing out the rest of the gifts and sneaking little glances at Crowley as he struggled with the box. He’d worked so hard on it, searched all the best yarn shops in London for the perfect skeins. He even had to sit on hold for hours with the manufacturer of the yarn he chose because he needed another skein from the same dye-lot, knowing that Crowley would want only the best, and he’d notice even a minor inconsistency in the coloring.

(27k) Long Is The Way, And Hard by Kate_Lear

A story of Crowley’s thoughts about Aziraphale, from the Beginning to the present day.

And also of temptation, and want, and whether - for a Fallen Angel - redemption is possible after all.

Mood: slow burn, denial, temptation, jealousy, lust to love, character growth.

Aziraphale hasn’t shared his bed with anyone. He can’t have done, because if he has then Crowley is going to hunt down that mortal – in this world or the next – and enact something creatively and comprehensively bloody upon them. Possibly involving methods from the Spanish Inquisition, that have scabbed over in Crowley’s memory and that he shies away from picking at.

(25.7k) your weekend lover by witching

Mood: miscommunication, mutual pining, ineffable idiots who are on the same page but reading a different damn book

It was purely physical, they had agreed on that from the beginning. Aziraphale couldn’t quite remember why he had agreed to that, but he suspected it had something to do with not ruining their friendship, or some such nonsense. At any rate, that was the deal. The new Arrangement. Purely physical.

(16k) I’ve Got You To Help Me Forgive by Kate Andrews (k8andrewz)

Pt1: Crowley deals, more or less, with the Fall. Also, Crowley has feelings. The angel doesn’t help with that. Also, sunny rocks are very nice.

Pt2: In which tea is made, a story is shared, and a leap of faith is taken.

Mood: Lust, first times, innocence, ineffable sex, memory wipes, Aziraphale showing initiative and being a bit of a bastard, overwhelmed Crowley, Gabriel is a total dick. Fair warning this isn’t PWP, it has loads of plot and feelings too and fantastic characterizations.

The air in Crowley’s lungs took leave of him all at once. Memories he hadn’t given a good look at in ages resurfaced. Memories he’d quite ably buried, thank you very much and he sat up abruptly, leaning forward and propping his elbows on his knees. He set his sunglasses on the table, then pressed his face into his palms and gave it a good scrub. After a sidelong glance at Aziraphale who sat there patiently watching him, he asked, “What am I supposed to do with a question like that, hmm?”

(13.9k) The Lightness of You by Rend_Herring

God should not have built them with such discrepancy, made them need for love, and long for wholeness, then left them to their own devices.

Mood: When you want to mix up your pining & angst with a bit of humour, sex and a praise kink.

The jasmine vine actually tries brushing up against Aziraphale’s cheek and he blushes, says, “Oh, you,” all indulgent and sweet-like.  It leaves a fragrant white blossom behind his ear.

“Thank you,” Aziraphale says sincerely, and Crowley glares openly at the traitors. “That’s very kind of you.” His smile really is a beacon of otherworldly radiance. An orchid blooms on the spot, the epiphyte whore.

(7.2k) summer and his pleasures by witching

absence makes the heart grow fonder, and crowley and aziraphale’s hearts were plenty fond to begin with. a story told through phone calls while they are separated for work-related reasons.

Mood: drunk dialing and dirty talk, idiots in love

Something clicked in Aziraphale’s mind, and he held back a curse word threatening on his tongue. Luckily, or perhaps unluckily, he found himself just in that sweet spot of intoxication where he was cognizant enough to recognize that he was doing something he absolutely shouldn’t do, but not quite enough to stop himself. “I would, you know,” he said, full of newfound confidence. “I’d – if you were here, I’d make it… very much worth your while.”

(3.6k) Birds of a Feather by idiopathicsmile

Aziraphale nests. Crowley relearns some crucial facts about angelic courtship rituals.

Mood: Jealousy, lashing out, withdrawal, oblivious idiots slowly learning how to use their words.

Is Crowley jealous of a musty old flat above a used book store? In the millennia he’s spent slowly twisting his own heart around Aziraphale’s little finger, it’s not the weirdest thing he’s been jealous of, to be honest.

(11k) A Touch Like Sunlight    by goodomensblog / @goodomensblog / @just-quintessentially-me

When Aziraphale is threatened by angels who seek justice for Aziraphale’s crimes against Heaven, Crowley comes up with a plan to keep him safe from harm.

Mood: PTSD from witnessing the attempted murder of your husband, it’s not paranoia if they’re really out to get you, self-sacrificing idiots & badass idiots protecting eachother.

“Right! Brunch!” Aziraphale says, bouncing up on his toes - as if they hadn’t just been discussing the murder of archangels. “Do you think they have crepes?”

(13.6k) These Things Were Here by MajorEnglishEsquire

Crowley, following times of overwhelming distress, resorted to the snake form as a means of finding comfort and solitude.

Mood: displays of affection, love shown through care-taking, using your ineffable boyfriend as a security blanket.

Nothing like it happened again for years. The pattern, however, was too recognizable to be mistaken when it did reoccur.

When commended for some catastrophe of which he was no part, Crowley became a completely disconsolate mess, but he still actually handled those occasions better than when he was, in fact, party to such disaster.

If he was blamed, but not actually at fault, Aziraphale may find him on the verge of discorporation due to alcohol poisoning, but at least he would say what was wrong. It was worse when he had an assignment he couldn’t breathe a word of. It was worse when he would smile bitterly and leave silently, haunted beyond expression.

(4.6k) let sleeping snakes lie by kythen / @kythen

The world doesn’t end. Crowley falls asleep. And Aziraphale stays by his side, waiting for him to wake up again.

Mood: acts of love, comfort, warmth, home

To some extent, he understands Crowley’s need for sleep. It had been an exhausting decade for the both of them, what with the end of the world business, and it had culminated spontaneously in them cutting off their ties with both Heaven and Hell rather dramatically, which were the only ties that either of them have ever had since the Beginning. Just as Crowley had sauntered from the ranks of Heaven to Hell, he had finally found his way out of Hell and into something that finally felt like freedom.

(6.4k) All The Dreams We Had by ImpishTubist / @impishtubist

This time will be different, Aziraphale thinks. This time, Crowley will remember.

Mood: amnesia, groundhog day - but centered on a single relationship - and with more angst

It takes a year for Crowley to fall for him again, a year until the air raid and the church and the books; a year before Aziraphale finds himself pressed up against a brick wall and exchanging desperate, burning kisses.

Crowley’s forgotten again by morning.

(70k) The Place You Need To Reach by Zetared / @zetablarian 

When Crowley is forcibly recalled to home office, Aziraphale conspires with a denounced saint and strikes a deal with the agents of Hell to get him back.

Mood: sacrifice, loss of self, trauma, love, tenderness and fantasy-novel-esque world & character building

“I have a journey to complete,” Aziraphale reminds the Adversary, primly. “May I begin?”

“In good time, Aziraphael. In good time. Tell me, do you recall the rules correctly?”

Aziraphale grits his teeth at the purposeful use of his forgotten name, but he doesn’t mention it. “Yes, of course. Using no miracles or ethereal influence of any kind, I must walk through the circles of Hell and complete an unknown task in each to earn passage to the next. I must not look behind me, where Crowley will walk. I may speak to Crowley, but he cannot speak back. I will not hear him or see him or feel even a hint of his presence. I will move forward, and, God willing, he will follow me.”

(1.9k) Kissing, Accidentally. by skybound2 / @skybound2

The one where Crowley gives in and kisses Aziraphale while he has him pinned against a wall.

Mood: hilarious footnotes, brilliant Crowley internal monologues and ineffable kissing against a wall.

No. No what actually happens is that when Crowley slams Aziraphale up against a wall in the middle of a hallway at a former-Satanic-hospital-turned-paintball-complex to express to him how very not nice he is, his hindbrain, forebrain and all other portions of his brain, decide that while denial has been a lovely place to reside for the previous six millennia, they are rather due a relocation at this point. And “Oh! Would you look at that! Here’s the oh-so-very soft mouth of an oh-so-very-beautiful angel right in front of us! And all we have to do to get there is to just…lean forward an inch. Less than an inch, in fact! How fantastic!”

(9.3k) Build Our Kingdom by Mackem 

Mood: : ineffable dates, promises kept

“Ready for lunch?” Crowley drops to his knees to start unbuckling the straps on the basket as though this is something they do all the time; as though he hasn’t just effortlessly catapulted Aziraphale back in time almost fifty years.

“You remembered,” Aziraphale breathes as wonder courses through him. He mentioned something once during an awkward moment, half a century ago, and now here kneels a demon atop a picnic blanket.

“Hmm?” Crowley barely shoots him a sidelong glance as he concentrates on opening the basket.

Aziraphale’s eyes do not move from him. “You remembered,” he repeats, no less stunned. “Crowley, you really didn’t have to.”

Crowley’s hands still. Eventually, his eyes still on the basket, he murmurs, “Well, we did The Ritz, didn’t we?”

(9k) On The Matter Of Touch by Somedrunkpirate

For two ineffable husbands, they don’t really touch each other much. Here is a story on why that might be.

Mood: touch-starved idiots in love, heart-breaking internal monologues, misunderstandings, miscommunication, protective idiots.

Crowley had decided long ago that curiosity should have been a sin, because it has been the one thing consistently tempting him in his existence. He’s done everything he can think of and more, just so see what it was all about. But this, with Aziraphale, feels more than just an experience he can add to his endless tally

(8.2k) dum memor ipse mei by NeverNooitNiet

There is something, Aziraphale thinks, that is inherently selfish— unangelic, even— about grief. But then of course, the same could be said about love.

Mood: identity angst, calling Aziraphale out on his bullshit

“Oh, don’t be ridiculous ,” Crowley snaps. “Of course I don’t— angel, do you have any idea just how much more straightforward my life would be if only I were able to hate you?”

(5.6k) bent to the very earth by Ark / @et-in-arkadia

Use me, please, Crowley had said, so Aziraphale takes him at his word.

Mood: tenderness & kisses & sex against a wall

Aziraphale kisses him back because that is what makes sense, kissing Crowley, why, the thought crosses his mind often enough—he just never had the sort of momentum that seems to fire up Crowley now. Crowley whose hands are shaking before they ball up as fists on Aziraphale’s lapels, Crowley who keeps kissing him and kissing him like otherwise he’ll drown.

(40k) Lit in the Darkness by ToEdenandBackAgain / @toedenandbackagain​

Mood: Aziraphale and Crowley sleeping together through the ages. Mutual pining.

Aziraphale, despite being nowhere hear as gangly as Crowley, is somehow still all arms and legs when he sleeps. Crowley takes an elbow to the face three times before he wedges the angel between the wall and his body with an angry growl, making sure to trap the flailing limbs tight beneath his own.

Works In progress

this gorgeous ineffable wives snippet by @mia-ugly

Mood: beautiful writing, emotional vulnerability, submitting to the mortifying ordeal of being known,

“Whatever happens tomorrow -“ And something will happen, they won’t walk away from this. They’d never be allowed. “Darling, you should know -”

the bucket list

  by darcylindbergh / @forineffablereasons  / @watsonshoneybee​

If you’re going to go native, you might as well go all the way.

Mood: saying the absolutely wrong thing at the wrong time, reaching your breaking point, miscommunication and heart break.

“You know, we are the way we are,” Aziraphale said slowly, pressing it a little, brushing his wing up against Crowley’s, “but we can also change, Crowley. We have done, over the years. We’ve changed quite a lot, since we first met.”