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#maybe they should both just die
sleestakkkk · 3 months
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Okay okay part of me has always leaned towards Ivan dying when he has to go up against Till. Because like listennn... Ivan ALWAYS being the one who's looking at Till, while Till is never ever looking back at him just has unbearable affect on my brain. So like I've always imagined him dying with the expectation that FINALLY FINALLYYY Till will truly LOOK at Ivan and really see him for the first time like Ivan has always seen him (Does this mean in a romantic sense? Potentially. Maybe. But most of all just finally seeing how Ivan feels about him and just having THAT realization), but also with the added gut punch that it took Ivan dying for Till to truly realize Ivan's feelings and aooughh. BUT flipping it around also ties into the same ooggily booggily affect that the first option has on my brain. Because having Till die could mean that from beginning to end, after EVERYTHING that has happened, he never looks back at Ivan. The tragedy and pain of that feeling, and you KNOWW that from the very beginning of the round that Ivan would know that if Till dies he'd die never knowing about Ivan's true feelings. Now is this all incoherent rambling that will likely not happen? Yes. But they are like little worms in my brain sooo
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twinstxrs · 2 months
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idk if this is accurate but i’ve felt like in previous seasons riz & gorgug have been one of the inter-bad kids dynamics we’ve seen the least of & this season has been so great in that aspect. gorgug having helped make some of riz’s magic gear. riz helping gorgug with his studies. the shared birthday party. gorgug’s gift to riz being something he himself made to protect riz. riz’s gift to gorgug being something he illegally grabbed to protect gorgug. gorgug who utilizes rage to put his body on the line for his friends & riz who will take deep levels of mental stress for his friends. even though it was within the context of a joke, riz calling gorgug an “absolute sweetie.” like yea they might not be in a band together or both part of a presidential campaign team or owlbears teammates, but they’d go to war for each other, because they’re best friends.
#riz gukgak#gorgug thistlespring#fantasy high#dimension 20#fantasy high junior year#fhjy#fhjy spoilers#these kids are all so self-sacrificing but i do think riz gorgug are the most clear (& juxtaposed) self-sacrificers#riz will mentally tear himself to pieces and get lost in cases and take on ungodly levels of stress for those he loves#gorgug will use himself as a human shield. he will take hit after hit if it means his friends are okay.#and they’d both do the other thing too. riz would let himself get hit for gorgug. gorgug would pull all nighters & take stress for riz.#even if mechanically they can’t or it wouldn’t make sense. they would if they could.#also#the starstruck barry mechanic of being a guard is so gorgug. it’s soooo gorgug like that’s literally him#anyways love this tall green guy & this short green guy so much#especially because gorgug is tall & considered intimidating but protective in a deeply kind way#while riz is short & underestimated but protective in a deeply vicious way (affectionate)#i hope this makes sense but i think riz is primarily ‘i would kill for you’ & gorgug is primarily ‘i would die for you’ maybe#this does not mean gorgug would not kill for riz or riz would not die for gorgug. they both would.#but those are the primary ways their love manifests due to the nature of their strengths/personalities. To Me#idk this is all just me saying stuff when i should be sleeping 😭#sorry if i missed a riz gorgug moment in the main post btw i’m tired
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lemongogo · 1 year
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i dont think im gna finish this but vol.13 elendira means everything 2 me 🤭
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i think the actual disconnect between nie mingjue and jin guangyao is that nie mingjue is dying and knows he's dying and has to stick so so so closely to his morals and virtues or else it'll have been for nothing and then he'll have to come to terms with the fact that maybe he didn't actually have to die after all vs jin guangyao who wants to live, he wants to live and be safe and have all the things he was told he could never have-was told he was never good enough to have-and will do almost anything to make it so. and these are two like irreconcilable point of views right (and both Correct and Wrong at the same time) and so they can't understand each other because they aren't even having the same argument and neither of them can see that
#nie mingjue#jin guangyao#nieyao#it's good!!!#i think nmj never expected to survive the war against the wen too maybe so after he's both floundering and STILL dying#characters that didn't HAVE to die like that but did anyways because societal/family/narrative pressure etc >>>>>>>#⚰️#I've been told it's real sweet to grow old#i think there's also this disconnect between the two of them in the story as a whole re that steinberg quote i posted earlier about kleos#nostos (glory seeking vs home coming)#where jgy is the kleos or glory seeker and nmj SHOULD be the nostos (@#(and he IS to an extent) but also he ISNT because again he is dying-he knows hes dying you cant extract that from his character#and so there SHOULD be this conflict here from that but there just isnt because nmj isnt filling that role properly and i think that's part#of why jgy cant understand him#jgy is the kleos but nmj isnt a glory seeker (not outside of like the war and he's not doing that for glory etc) but he's also not nostos#he's theseus in the king must die#(sorry for referencing a bunch of shit in th tags pls pls pls ignore my rambling to myself about characters that are barely ever on page/#screen and so we can never actually fully contextualize them because we dont actually know them but oh boy oh boy can we try)#so like what does a guy who will (allegedly) give up anyone and anything domestic to gain/retain status do against a guy who otherwise#would be the opposite and unwilling/unable to sacrifice anyone for these things do when said guy does neither 🤷‍♀️#mine
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dirtytransmasc · 9 months
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[mild tw for marital rape/forced 'consent' its only referenced a little, but it feels necessary to mention it]
imagine Alicent only standing up for herself when Aegon is in the picture. Imagine her talking her son to her chambers cause he's fussy and won't go down for bed and was asking for his mum, and she has him tucked close, blissfully asleep, and Viserys calls for her.
she knows she can't refuse, but she tells the servant he had sent to make him aware of Aegon's state. he still demands that she be brought to his chambers and that the babe go back to his nursemaid. she looks down at her baby, who's now woken due to the disturbance, who is staring up at her with soft tired eyes, a little yawn escaping him.
she doesn't want to go, she doesn't want to be forced to take her husband, to pleasure him at her own discomfort. she doesn't want to leave her son, to have him sent back to bed where he will remain restless and in the care of someone who is not his mother. she had never want to refuse more than she did in that moment.
she hesitates, her facade falters. Aegon is still looking up at her as tears well up in her eyes. he quirks his head at her, fingers reaching for her cheeks as if to comfort her. with a sudden conviction, she takes him in her arms, rising from the bed, requesting a robe and a blanket. when her servant looks at her in question, she clarifies that she will be taking Aegon with her and does not wish to rouse him in attempts to dress him. they look at her with shock, but don't voice the concern written on their faces.
they bring her Viserys's favorite robe. Alicent recognizes it from her time with Rhaenyra and Aemma. she's worn it before, Viserys has made sure the servants bring it to her every time he requests her. she hates the way it feels against her skin, knowing why he makes her wear it. she wraps aegon in his blanket, soft and royal blue, his hands beginning to play with its golden tassles as she tucks him inside her robe, pressed to her chest with care.
even as fear bites at her heels, anxiety churning her stomach, she walks to Viserys's chamber with her held high. she knows she is only asking for her husband's wrath; she knows she should just obey him, but she just can't. her son will not suffer a sleepless night and horrid following day all because her husband feels the need to use her body once more. he will not suffer at his father's hands tonight, even if she has to endure Viserys's anger for it.
she enters her husband's chambers, finding him in bed, in a white night gown, clearly ready to use her; he was never subtle when he asked for her, not even the first time.
she pauses in the doorway, pulling back the robe slightly, making him aware of Aegon's presence. she watches his face fall, barely muted anger. she holds onto Aegon tighter. part of her fears he may hurt her for this disturbance, but more of her fears he will hurt Aegon on her behalf.
"I told the damned servants to take him," his voice is warped and cruel, just an angry scowl of sorts.
"Aegon is not well, dear husband... I could not leave him," she admits before he can say anything else. she puts her foot forward as a mother, hoping to claim mercy from the man who made her one.
he mutters something in response, not quite loud enough for her to hear. she has a feeling she is grateful for that.
"what was it you needed, my dear?" she tries to sound sweet and kind, in attempts to abate his anger, "I'm sure I could still attend to it."
"you know what I wanted," he yelled. it had been the first time he'd truly raised his voice to her. she couldn't help but gasp, stepping back one step, than two, stopping when Aegon began to fuss, curling around him instead.
"Please Viserys, the baby." she ducks her head down to press her against his whispy white hair. her son his huffing, as if about to cry, and she's sure if she could see his face, his little cheeks would be red and his eyes would be crinkled and wet, his lip puckered. she begins to rock him slightly, still afraid to move.
"your'e dismissed," he grunts, but his tone gives it away. she knows he doesn't mean it, the if she leaves she will be in more trouble. she questions staying, calling a servant to take Aegon and giving him what he wants, but decides against it. he would not come before her son, not now, not ever.
"I'm sorry, my dear, another night, when I do not have Aegon to tend to," she forces some cheer into her tone, "he is still so young, so helpless. he needs his mother. I'm sure you understand?"
"he is not the only one in need of you." he had not lost his anger yet. not even for the sake of his son.
"yes, of course. forgive me. only he is not as understanding as you, my love." that wasn't the truth, Aegon was more kind and understanding at a year old, than viserys was in all of his years. "I will leave now. I am sorry for the disturbance."
she pauses for a moment, waiting for her husbands reaction. when he doesn't lash out at her, she breathes a quiet sigh of relief, feeling as though she has evaded a great beast. her heart calms in her chest, slowing from its fluttering and her stomachs stops its dizzing ache. she questions turning and running, fleeing from his presence before he can change his mind, but knows better.
she hurries to his side, eyeing him all the while, each step calculated, avoiding cracking any eggshells, until she is close enough to kiss his cheek. he allows it, and gives Aegon grace when he reaches out for him, letting him play with his finger a moment, before pulling it away, not even turning away fully before sneering. she takes that as her cue to leave, this one being much more genuine than the last.
"goodnight dear husband." he says nothing. she takes Aegon's little hand, waving it slightly, "say goodnight Aegon."
her son tries to imitate her, though unintelligible, as a toddler would. she continues to smile and coo at him even when his father ignores him, not letting him feel his father's scorn, quickly turning towards the door and back to her own chambers.
the second the door is close she feels herself sag, she would have fallen to the floor right then and there had there not been kingsgaurd watching. instead she holds her head high once more, walking calm and steady, like a queen should.
Aegon settles his forehead against her collar, giving a great yawn against her skin. she smiles at him fondly, kissing his brow, earning a tired little giggle from him. it hits her that he is unaware of the trouble he just saved her from. she feels equal parts relief as she does terror; she hopes he never knows, never understands, but is so so thankful for it none the less.
the second she steps into her chambers she pulls of the robe, setting it aside carefully despite the pain it brings her, respecting the memories it carried. she pulls back the covers before smothering her and her son amongst them. he's quick to curl against her, quite tuckered out after their harrowing adventure, even if he was unaware of its true weight. she herself still wanted to cry, but was similarly too tired to keep her eyes open for another moment. tomorrow, she tells herself, tomorrow will be difficult, but tonight you have your son, tonight you have a chance to rest.
so she does, she holds him close, tracing fingers over the gold threaded patterned of his blanket, feeling the shifting of his chest as he breathes and the tickle of his hair against her neck. all is well in that moment. she drifts to sleep at the thought.
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zebratimw · 1 year
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Spirit animal SQH
#svsss#shang qinghua#but mainly I'm just here to vague post LMAO I don't like to vague post its not very effective in terms of venting but#but basically I guess I'm becoming hyperaware of my like... cognitive dissonance codependency and derealization ee#also my general laziness ig and where it overlaps into executive dysfunction or whatever like I may genuinely have some issues but#I am also a lazy son of a bitch jfjfkgkg and i need to figure out how to figure it out so I can work on both in more effective ways hhggg#oh yeah but basically the thing to remember for later is the silence in the call and the immediate unmute and chat activity once I left#I should remember this and stop interacting I think? I should try to give em space I think I'm being too clingy or something#or maybe my own silence is too awkward and dampens the call? I was kinda just spacing out and not doing anything so I get its kinda weird#LMAO so I should just like try not to be in call for those times mm#I just like being in call with my friends jdhfkg but I suppose its not very good either#I overindulge I suppose another friend pointed it out to me before too haha but fjfjjt its just easier than facing bouts of dread by myself#eehh and that's why I gotta do something about my Metnal Ailneses hfjfj but ngl I don't really know how to go about it...#I get embarrassed looking stuff up djfnfkg and half the time I don't even know what to look up I just draw ?s and I give up#I suppose I also have commitment issues too but that ones not new which is an issue of itself aaaaaaaa#man idk idk I just don't really get it I guess djdjfjf and I've got existential dreads and think maybe it doesn't really matter whats wrong#cause there's no point to fixing them because ultimately I'm gonna die alone and a failure anyways? so like ehfjgkg idk#its depressing and I know its like sabotage cause my brain is being a little silly a little goofy and its not a shared sentiment#with the better half of me and the entirety of my friends but yknow its just ee harder sometimes to believe in the optimism ig#and i can talk about it somewhat normally and without like having a ✨���break down#but yknow djfjgkg I'm very emotional a person ya? I think sqh is relatable for gods sake 💀#irrationality sentimentality nihilism and existential dreads... wanting to die because living is too hard despite all my hopes for living...#just the ol regulars yknow?#and another thing... do I talk to my friends about these things? I vent them out here a lot but what do I really want?#I'm not strong enough to keep it to myself clearly but I'm also too proud to share these thoughts? I dump them out in the open and for what?#whenever someone reaches out with concern and care I don't respond in kind and refuse to elaborate?#so like what do I want with this? I guess I want someone to know I'm going insane half the time I'm awake? but not do anything about it?#that's pretty unfair I guess... and stupid I think I do want to share my thoughts with someone but I'm too scared of the ramifications#and that my pride can't stand the fact I might be looked differently by my friends even tho the image they have of me is already quite silly#man.... idk.... I'll come to conclusions myself and do nothing about them so I guess that'll happen again aah idk idk idk
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bumblingbabooshka · 2 months
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Something about this interaction between Harry & Janeway - specifically Janeway but it's notable that Harry's the one listening because I think, say, Chakotay or B'Elanna might push back against the idolization of this 'it was different back in those days' way of thinking.
#Get the Tranq she's 'Good Old Boys'-ing!#never beating the Starfleet stooge accusations#which I think should have been brought up more between her and Chakotay#instead of just making Chakotay like Starfleet again so they can be together#the Tuvok/Chakotay/Janeway command trio should have been like#Janeway: I love Starfleet in an uncomplicated way and though it's painful sometimes I believe following code is the only way to proceed#Tuvok: I agree with the captain and this makes her believe in her decisions more - though I would attempt to obey her commands even if they#weren't regulation.#<- Janeway doesn't want to examine this#Chakotay: I hate Starfleet because of very valid reasons and I don't think following orders and codes from superiors is the best thing#in every situation. I want everyone here to examine their biases which cannot necessarily be done if biases are written into the#codes. We aren't in Starfleet space. We might have to adapt.#but it's nowhere near that nuanced bc you know. Starfleet Good. Starfleet Good. Starfleet Good. Maquis Bad. Maquis Bad. Maquis Bad.#Or you know: 'Maquis doing this the WROOONG way...violence isn't the answer :(' maybe violence is the answer sometimes.#when it's the only language the people in power understand.#maybe 'let's talk about this' is an insidious military tactic sometimes actually#Also Harry immediately going from 'They falsified logs?' to 'I always wondered it'd be like back then...~'#He and Janeway................Him and Janeway are!!! AGH#People think Harry's way too timid. They think this because he's asian and an ensign so they make him timid & obedient#But he's very willing to break or bend the rules - he's willing to fight he likes action and adventure and he's very similar to Janeway#where they'll both die and go to hell and come back just to save their crew - their friends - their family
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bumblebeerror · 2 years
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so i just opened my drawing program at 2am to realize i don’t actually have the spoons to draw,,, but i did manage to download all my art for the last few months so have some techno emotes i drew for a discord server im in:
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(yes that’s phil’s hand and yes, its hard to make a hardcore heart on a wristband recognizable with only 128 by 128 pixels)
and the one i am both most proud of and also feel is the most cursed but it was requested so many times i couldnt say no:
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(yes, i am aware that all the crowns are different. mans got a scuffed crown and i am nothing if not a faithful interpreter)
also, have an emote of my zombie piglin self L-ing you because yes, i did need a png of me doing the L so that i could be an asshole to my friends (affectionate)
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fluffypotatey · 3 months
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OK both. One monkey is convince his feelings are unrequited and he is doing such a good job at hiding his emotions. A+ at secretblonging. The other knows he loves the other, knows the other loves him, and think the other is equally aware of the fact and equally in the decision to do nothing about it. Which is which?
easy answer is A is Macky and B is swk
BUT!!! IT WOULD BE SO FUCKING FUNNY IF SWK THOUGHT HE WAS SO SMOOTH AND SUAVE AT HIDING HIS CRUSH WHILE MACKY IS LIKE “ok, bet, this is mutual that’s fine but we should move slow with this, you know, be careful”
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pothospant · 3 months
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his default recall is so cool..........
#not me arts tag#ive never used his default skin so i didnt even know what it looked like until now....ough#i wish u could mix and match sounds or recalls with skins................#i honestly forget half the time hes supposed to be like. Cool and Suave and a Competent Badass#because my brain is always like. god hes so small and floppy and will die if you breathe on him wrong#also hes always crying and breathing heavily in my ear so im just like. poor guy#he should be at the bed taking a nap not fighting....... who made him fight.... stop that he doesnt belong on the battle field#he might be a badass hitman or smth but my brain is like#this is just a sad theatre kid who took gymnastics#''aphelios how is your assassin training going'' aphelios who has only been reading the acrobatics textbook: my what#is there anyone still reading these tags. hi there#i have a lot of thoughts on him. im very obsessed with his animations#like he has a laugh animation for every weapon.......#all the various weapon animations...#maybe the real reason we wont have a legendary for 10 more years is all the animating they have to do#i mean his base animations are so good id honest be like OK if they reused them#cant rly do much better than already Top Tier animations#unless we get an alune legendary.....#hope alune is super awesome and badass and all the aphelios voicelines are a really shy awkward guy or smth#like you look so cool and awesome fighting and the whole world doesnt know ur listening to a lil guy in your brain the whole game#the contrast would be very funny methinks#if anyones still reading this. yes i know riot made up some reason about budget or whatever for voices#but i choose to believe aphelios is head empty no thoughts and thats why he doesnt talk to alune#(STILL GOOFY OF A REASON... lots of VAs can do both genders of voices.... like. what about kindred and kayn....)#then again wouldnt be surprised if they were overbudget on the animations but still smh my head into oblivion#can relate to a guy who simply doesnt wanna talk#(said after 10000 tags of talking to myself)#i should really put my thoughts onto a separate post or blog or something#anyways have i mentioned i think hes really cute
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verm1c1de · 11 months
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purroblems and solutions
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itsukicoded · 4 months
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the whole time watching tht series all i could think was ‘can you guys stop telling this child he’s the savior of the world’ like naruto—who starts to take everything on because he feels bad that sasuke had to save him, feels even worse that sasuke died in his arms for him, over extends his abilities to achieve his goals for recognition, realizes that he really truly can gain recognition through strength, literally just swallows any negative feelings he has about the fact that people only treat him well after all the things he’s *done* for them rather than who he is as a person—cannot be normal about that kind of thing at all even your own dad like…..iruka is the only person who’s normal about that kid ever
#i mean when your teacher and your dead dad and your president and all your ‘friends’ at home start saying that shit#some guys dying wish to you after restoring the lives of your whole village is ‘save the world only you can do it’ like that’s insanity#all of the ‘i have to be the one to do this’ is just sad naruto is a sad guy to look at#and i will talk for years and years about haku telling naruto ‘you want your whole village to recognize you but what if you met one person#who gave you more than that’ naruto meeting haku is the second biggest event in his life#and he develops his nindo around his meeting haku#so i don’t give a fuck the worst part of boruto is the fact that he stayed and became hokage he should’ve learned to live beyond the#recognition of others maybe go home and visit his dad iruka sometimes but#tht village had done enough to him and he’s done than enough for them he deserves to happy in his own rite#and it’s not a coincidence that he really grew into himself in the land of waves the first time he ever left the village all of his growth#happens outside the village in comparison to everyone else i just don’t knowwwwww like#especially since he really does love people i just think with both him and sasuke having six path’s power six paths traveled the world to#help rebuild after he sealed up his mom? hello motif#and the letting go of childhood dreams since kakashi had reflected on them all right at the end it would be cool to see that they had all#changed not just sasuke’s goal changing idkkkkkkk idk#but naruto needs time away from home his inner self in the waterfall of truth was telling just that fuck your autograph and you should still#die all of you etc but im nice so#naruto posting#personal
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raiiny-bay · 3 months
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the degenerates: out of context
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queer-pagan-witch · 1 month
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One day I will learn, that just because the bottle is low, does not mean I need to finish off the bottle.
#imma be so fuckin hungover tomorrow#someone should kiss me#and i moght be either asexual or aromantic or both which like woo thats funny to only me for so many trauma reasons#i love#im so drunk#i too drunk#i stated typing thos at 12:30#imma smoke pot after i post this#if your reqding my tags hi i love you. why are you reading this though like im a schizo bipolar depreased trans girl im unhinged in the tags#i need to stop drinking by myself#if think im an alcoholic as well if it wasnt for the fact that i can genuinely stop when ever i want but idkmaybe that changes?#at this point im just typing to annoy myself cause i think its funny to annoy other people and itd be hypothetical to not annoy myself#im ramblimg in the tags and honestly its your fault for still reading this#trans thought time#i wish i was born with a pussy but i do like having a cock and there is a possibility im genderfluid and fuck me that sucks if true#like how do you transition if your genderfluid? like i kinda want a cock and pussy and i know thats an actual option#but is it the right option?#i hate being trans but not knowing what kinda trans maybe ill hit where im at with my gender and just say tranny#cause i already say faggot for my sexuality instead of anything specific maybe i should just say tranny#this is probably what a therapist is for but idk if i can justify paying for this instead of saving money to buy a hoise#america sucks#capitalism sucks#love is such a bullshit thing#how can i be in love with some ane be in love with someone. being in love is nothing but selfish but also you have to be selfish for youryou#like i know that doesn't make sense sense but it makes sense to me and i also know its wrong#maybe i should give up and spend money on a therapist#i love my freinds and would sacrifice myself for them literally#12:51 and i have one more short tag to add#i hope you didnt read this far cause even in a drunk state this tag is embarrassing and im sorry you know me irl im sorry this is rambly+ugh#but if you dead read all the tags <3 i love yoh and would die for you
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evilkitten3 · 8 months
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so i'm at my mom's and i decide to round up all the naruto volumes we have in the house (currently i've found 37, 45, 50, 51, 53, 54, 56, 58, and 60) bc that's where my brain is these days and i flipped through 'em a bit and like.
ok so in volume 53 (the birth of naruto) there's a flashback to the kyuubi attack and a bunch of people dying. we see naruto's parents (mostly kushina) monologue to him pre-kicking it, we see iruka's parents giving their lives for him, and then there's kurenai's dad.
"you're a girl so make sure you live long enough to give me grandkids" bro i hope the kyuubi got you and i hope it hurt
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ugh had a conversation w someone and i thuink i upset them but also i was in the right
#me: ur neglecting ur pet snake and i think u should find a new home for him bc this is not good for him#them: i am so offended and i can’t do that bc i love him#me: if u loved him u would not neglect him tho#them: so if i take better care of him u will believe that i love him and leave me alone#me: if u need me to tell u to take care if ur pet’s basic needs to do it then i don’t think u really love them#them: i am so fucking offended and i am upset u can’t tell me how i feel#but also like this person was getting pissed bc another person we know takes care of their dogs like the bare minimum and we both were#upset by that but then?? they also don’t take care of their snake and now they’re upset bc i called them out on it?#they’re also upset bc of the “u don’t love ur pet” thing bc like. i can admit that i don’t like. feel love. a lot. like i like the cats#and i would be sad if i could never see them again but if i knew i could not take good care of them i would absolutely find them a new#home. like. idk if i can really feel love a lot? like i don’t love my family and i don’t know if i’ve ever loved my family and i don’t even#know if i’ve ever loved anyone. maybe except for goose i think i would die inside if something bad happened to him. but for the most part#i’ve only ever liked animals not loved them but i would still take care of them bc it’s my responsibility like they deserve care and even#if i’m bad at loving i would never want them to feel unloved and i just find it annoying that this person can claim to love but be content#with this kind of neglect. like i don’t need love to still be nice and take care of pets bc it makes me happy for them to be happy and#healthy so it’s weird to me that someone who claims they love so much (and they do this a lot) to not be bothered. like what is your#love doing for you? like i care but i don’t really love but they love and don’t really care and idk i think they should still care#i wonder if they’d let me take the snake. originally he actually was mine but we got him literally a week before smth happened that made#me fucked in the head so i gave him up because i knew i wasn’t fit to take care of him but i’ve been getting a lot better recently so#i think i’d be able to step back in atp#the real question is if they’d let me
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