#me and a friend actually realized this when looking through the source code

[medium-amount-of-gay]

Ever taken this?

https://mkremins.github.io/genderquiz/

Hell yeah that rules

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

Can you please do a part two of the Sebastian fluff where he lets his thoughts get the best of him and gets anxious that reader now sees him as a monster because of what they read on his document so he prepares extra good items and plans to give them heavy discounts and even some free but reader barges in like

"MANTIS SHRIMP??? PUNCH SOMETHING RIGHT NOW"

And after a bit of reassuring(possibly some punching too bc reader is too starry-eyed for him to say no to em) Seb realizes he trully never had anything to worry about and just, generally grows fonder of reader?

Ps. Adore your writing, keep up the awesome work!!

"God, why did I let them take it? Stupid, stupid, stupid.."

Sebastian couldn't stop beating himself up, even though he knew he shouldn't care about the opinion of any human sent by Urbanshade--especially one of the "expendable" class.

Yet because it was you, specifically--who was currently in possession of his document--he began to wonder what you'd think of him once you found out the truth:

That he was nothing but a horrible monster. Plain and simple.

If not the knowledge that he was a hideous chimera of several sea creatures' DNA...then surely the revelation that he caused the lockdown of the Blacksite would ultimately make you resent him.

He released all those creatures, who stopped at nothing to prevent you from reaching the crystal and had you running, fighting, or hiding for your life.

He was responsible for all the injuries you've sustained while crawling into his shop, desperately needing a medkit and a place to rest.

He would understand if you'd never want to visit him again after what they documented about him..but the image of your furious expression and overthinking the words you'd possibly say to him left him feeling incredibly anxious.

Suddenly, Sebastian found himself gathering more supplies. Medkits, code breakers, and every light source he had currently in the shop, trying to market down whatever he could. He was even willing to let you take batteries for free...which was something he'd never normally do.

Would it be enough to make up for everything horrific you discovered about him and the terrors he indirectly put you through? Absolutely not.

Was he willing to try it anyways just for the small chance that you'd keep visiting him? Maybe.

No other human has shown him a single ounce of kindness or gratitude for his services. Nobody except you, of course, and he refused to lose that.

-thump, thump-

"Shit.." He froze, hearing movement in the vent duct, hands trembling for his light to shine brighter. Part of him wishes he could stay in the dark, as he didn't wanna see your face and whatever hurt expression it could possibly hold.

But he knew it'd be rude if you actually needed to buy something, so he forced himself to look as your familiar figure crawled out of the small opening. You seemed out of breath, like you were just running from something, and stood up to dust the dirt off your pants.

"Sebastian..I need to know something, and you need to be 100% honest with me."

The moment you pulled out his document, the shopkeeper could feel his heart sink.

"Wh..What did you want to know?" He asked, already bracing himself for the worst.

You sounded dead serious, and he was convinced you were finally going to let him have it.

You were going to force him to explain himself and his actions, and tell him what a monster he truly was. Literally and metaphoric-

"Its it true that you have mantis shrimp DNA????"

Silence.

Of all the possible outbursts he expected from you, that certainly didn't cross his mind.

Sebastian just stared down at you, utterly dumbfounded. He blinked several times, unsure if he was truly seeing the wide smile and starry-eyed look on your face.

He had been waiting for a deep scowl, eyes full of anger and betrayal and sadness that he wasn't the "friend" he claimed himself to be when you first visited his shop.

Yet now? He saw nothing but pure delight in your expression.

"Um..yes. But of alllll the things you read about me, that shocked you the most?" He was still treading carefully.

"Well, it sucks that you were an innocent guy who got thrown into a shitty situation." You gestured to him, frowning a little. "And I'm sorry you never saw justice, but...it's just SO cool that you're part mantis shrimp!" A grin returned to your face. "They've fascinated me for years! I used to watch videos of them all the time. Did you know the velocity of just one of their punches is equal to a .22 caliber bullet-?"

"Stop." He put a hand up, huffing. "At least some part of you must resent me. I mean...helloooooo, did you skip over the bit where I'M the reason those monsters are after you?! There's no way you could've ignored that..unless your brain turned off the moment you read "mantis shrimp"."

"I read everything, Sebastian." You huffed back. "Look, if I ever had to go through what you did..I think I'd wanna rebel, too. And as much as those monsters scare me, they've probably endured the same experiments as you. They probably felt just as trapped and afraid. You must see at least a few of them as your friends, right?"

"Eyefestation and the PAInter are the only ones I consider "acquaintances"." He answered after a long pause, shoulders slumped. "The anglers are primitive, but they recognize me as the one who freed them, so they don't bother me or my shop. The only creature that tends to be an issue is-"

-thump-

-thump-

Tensing, you looked over your shoulder to see a Wall Dweller emerge from the vent behind you, its mouth split open and drooling with hunger, standing on two legs.

"-that." Sebastian glared at the creature; and before it could run away, he blocked the entrance with his tail fin. "Oh no you don't." He swooped over to grab ahold of its head with his third hand, causing it to shriek and kick its legs as he held it up high. "You seriously need to stop eating my customers when they're trying to BUY SOMETHING!!"

The Dweller just growled at him, to which he ignored it and glanced down at you. "What should I do with this thing?"

"Punch it!" You grinned, your fists balled up in front of you as you hopped up and down. "I wanna see how fast you could throw one!"

He raised an eyebrow. "Really?"

"Pleeeeaaase?"

"..ugh, if it gets that stupid puppy-eyed look off your face, fine." He looked back at the Dweller, grinning widely as he cracked his knuckles. "You wanna eat something so bad? Try this."

"....grahh-?"

In a blinding flash, his fist went through the creature's skull, effectively turning its head into dust. Then he dropped the whole body onto the ground with a grimance. "Eugh..never done that before.."

Then he looked down at you again, seeing your smile brighten. "Hope that made you happy."

"It did, that was amazing!" You laughed, kneeling down to rip off a chunk of the Dweller's flesh. He eyed you strangely, his expression changing to a look of horror as you shoved a piece in your mouth.

"What the f...why would you eat that?!"

"It's okay! I've had this stuff before." You swallowed, feeling rejuvenated already.

"B....Before?! What you're eating is clay and acid-"

"Actually, it's fresh meat. Reminds me of poultry, almost. I found a document somewhere saying that it has regenerative properties." You explained to Sebastian, whose eyes only widened the more you talked. "I didn't believe it at first until I saw the Angler kill one. I was hungry and...eating it healed my electrical burn somehow."

".......why was that not in its actual document?" He muttered.

You shrugged, ripping out another piece and offering it to him. "Care for a bite?"

"I'll..pass. But thanks." Lowering his body closer to you, he frowned. "Are you absolutely sure that-?"

"I'm sure."

"..you didn't even know what I was going to-"

"You were worried about my reaction to your file. I could tell from the discount signs and how you were scared to even look at me."

"............."

"But I promise it doesn't change anything, okay? We're still friends, Sebastian, and I'll still swing by to do business with you." You reassured him, smiling as you patted the back of his hand, before noticing the bandage on his third arm seemed bloody. "Um..when's the last time you changed that?"

"...oh this? Erm..it's fine." He attempted to hide it behind his back. "Nothing you should be concerned abou-"

"Too late. It's my concern now. Let me repay you for saving my tail."

He had no time to protest, as you were already on your feet and running for the medkit that was on the table. You weren't worried about getting to the next zone right now.

Not that Sebastian planned on kicking you out anytime soon.

No.

Now that he was able to confide in you, he was genuinely beginning to enjoy your company--especially as you asked him to rest his arm across your lap. From there, your gentle hands went to work changing the bandage out for a fresh one, using an alcohol spray to keep the wounds from getting infected.

He hissed and cursed a few times at the stinging pain, but not once did he try to get you to stop.

Suddenly, it all began to hit him in this exact moment.

You were willingly playing nurse to a giant sea monster that has killed a man and was responsible for the terrifying things you had to witness down here.

He couldn't understand..but at the same time he felt relieved that all along he had nothing to worry about.

"Th-That's fine..thank you.."

Hearing a sniffle, you glanced up as Sebastian hastily took his arm away, "standing" back up and turning away from you. You just smiled and patted his tail comfortingly, not saying a word as you waited for him to collect himself.

For once, that snarky and sarcastic fish you've come to know was gone, and he was letting his walls down, finally realizing he could trust you.

Eventually he fell silent, and you wondered what to do now. You bought everything you wanted to earlier, so you didn't wanna overstay your welcome-

"Do you mind staying for a little bit longer?"

The question surprised you, but you smiled and nodded. "Sure. As long as you don't mind, shrimpy."

There was a pause, and he slowly looked back at you, pouting. "Big talk coming from someone as tiny as you, friend." He playfully sneered.

You just laughed and shook your head, glad to see him in better spirits.

Thanks to that scrambler on his back, you didn't have to worry about HQ getting on your ass about continuing the mission or threatening detonation.

You could definitely stay awhile and ramble about more mantis shrimp facts to Sebastian...if he was willing to hear them, of course.

[waokevale]

Looks at you with my eyes sitting in front of you like I'm interrogating you (but it's actually a really nice cozy room). I have heard tale of this WXwood ship. Tell me what you find compelling about the ship I'm considering joining you in WXwood land. Literally just say words at me I'm listening

Alright, very well then, so I shall! 🫡

At first, I only shipped them ironically, because they seemed like the classic "opposites attract" trope, which I favor 👍

But then I got digging, and I realized they're not actually that different after all. In fact, they share plenty of common traits and interests. What many people overlook initially, is that neither of them is actually a black&white character. None of the DST cast is, to be fair. 🩶

So it was inevitable, I became enthralled with this ship and now it's probably my nr 1 of all time.

Here's a list of my reasonings and what I found out about these guys thus far (updated):

1. WX-78 is actually a bit of a softie if you spend some time reading through their quotes. They act tough and logical to presumably hide whatever ounce of empathy they have left, that didn't escape them completely. (But they're not doing too good of a job)

They either use this uncharacteristically soft tone or hide a kind gesture or well-intentioned thought behind robotically constructed sentences and insults.

Even when they are threatening someone/something, they're all bark no bite. They might be very rude, but most of the time they won't actually go through with what they say.

And of course, I don't think I need to show the quotes for machines or metallic structures, since WX-78 openly sees them as their family and acts basically the same as Wormwood does with his plant friends.

2. Speaking of, Wormwood isn't always an empathetic creature. He can sometimes be callous, apathetic and even have favorites amongst plants (and people too), though he doesn't directly state that. He also isn't as dumb as he portrays himself to be, he definitely knows something, but either has too limited English speaking skills or is actively choosing not to say much.

He often sobs or cries when a creature dies, but there are times he reacts with either "whoops", "oh" or "too bad" like it's a small inconvenience at best.

And those are only some of the examples. If you'd like I could always try and find more of these specific quotes at another time.

3. Despite seeming vastly different at first, they would eventually become good friends.

And why do I think that? Because WX-78 actually likes plenty of things that correspond with Wormwood!

Bees (If we were to go back to their previous quote I've shown). Fun fact, WX-78 has a lot of quotes where they express how much they like/respect bees! And since Wormwood blooms, there's countless of them surrounding him at those times. It's a welcome bonus while hanging out around him. (Though maybe not in Spring)

Their quote for green gem is: "PRESSURE AND IMPURITIES HAVE PRODUCED PLEASING PERFECTION" which is. well. Something.

They're very fond of pumpkins, describing them as: "IT HAS A PLEASANT SHAPE" while their seed as "IT IS A SOURCE CODE FOR PLEASING PLANTS" And guess who just happens to have a pumpkin skin ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

The lunar affinity. If I didn't know any better, I'd assume WX-78 was outright worshipping the moon. They have dozens of quotes describing how THE MOON IS SUPERIOR, INORGANIC AND GOOD, I wouldn't be able to fit all of them into this post, (just trust me on that). Regardless, they're still deeply attached to it. it wouldn't be surprising that, if they found out about this aspect about him, they'd become very fascinated with him, because c'mon, it's the moon, and he's from it!

Despite acting like it, WX-78 doesn't actually hate all organic life. Plants in particular, are actually some of the organisms they seem to hate the least. They're partial to potatoes and lureplants; the former because they say they can relate to them, and the latter because "AWW, IT'S JUST AS EVIL AS I AM". They even recognize the beauty of certain flowers, even if they say it in a mocking tone. So then, would it be too farfetched of a concept for them to grow to appreciate organic life with Wormwood's influence ?

And yeah, they might not like him at first due to the whole "Filthy Organic" attribute, but that's just how they are with everyone! And that's what we're here for! That slowburn! With the two of them getting to know each other and realizing they have shared interests and know similiar struggles!

Going back to Wormwood. His quote for the W.A.R.B.I.S armor and head gear suggests that he highly admires WX and would like to be strong like they are.

–Wormwood, examining the W.A.R.B.I.S. Head Gear: "Just like robot friend!"

–Wormwood, examining the W.A.R.B.I.S. Armor: "Be strong, like robot friend!"

There's also his quote for the Nautopilot where he's the only one who shows genuine concern for WX-78's perturbation:

–WX-78, when examining the Nautopilot: THIS IS A TERRIBLE IDEA

–WX-78, when examining an active Nautopilot: I THINK THAT RIDICULOUS SCIENTIST IS TRYING TO KILL ME

–Wormwood: Robot friend doesn't like Pull Rock

5. The survivors' farming animation is quite charming, I certainly loved their small interaction there. They're also shown in the official Return Of Them vignette, farming on the side.

6.. I like the fact that one of them is afraid of water and the other of fire. Adds an interesting dynamic.

7. As @benzybenny mentioned, it's a cute idea that they could make each other's favorite foods. Wormwood has the resources for making a butter muffin practically instantly available, due to his Bee King and Berry Bush crafting skills. And WX-78 is perfectly fitted for the ruins, yes! Them fetching bananas (definitely only to spite the monkeys, not for Wormwood and Wendy specifically) sounds very plausible to me. 😁

8. They just work. Despite claiming they want to "DOMINATE ALL ORGANIC LIFE" WX-78 appreciates people who can stand up for themselves. I'd guess Wormwood would be a huge pushover at first, no doubt, but with their influence, he would certainly have to grow a spine (metaphorically speaking)

Likewise, WX-78 struggles to show kindness to non-robotic creatures, because they fear they might come off as WEAK and SENTIMENTAL. Things they loathe to expose about themself. Wormwood could help them show that it's okay to love organic friends and be nice to others! (sometimes at least.)

I'd say they balance out each other perfectly and that is quite rare to see in modern ships.

While they'd definitely struggle to get along at first, they'd surely grow fond of the other one day :)

I hope this convinced you. if not, I'll try and dig up some more stuff. Then again, keep in mind that there aren't many canon character interactions besides whatever crumbs we've got from their quotes and official animations.

[seraphinitegames]

The Wayhaven Chronicles - Update 22/March/2024

So, I decided where Chapter One is going to end! It should leave people very excited for what’s to come in the rest of the book (and later demo releases), hehe! ;D

I think it does give a very good clue at what might be the source of the problem for the love interests and the MC throughout Book Four, too…

It’s gonna get exciting, guys! :D

Knowing where the demo is going to leave off, I also started looking back at the character creator. After actually playing through what I had a while back, I realized I really wasn’t so keen on what I do normally, and it really needs streamlining.

And I think (hopefully!) I have a plan for how to do that now.

I will try to see if I can get some screenshots or a video of it and post it up so you can get a hint of what it looks like after my redo so far, if my internet ever wants to play ball again!

With only one option per page being possible, I need to make sure people can get through the character creator as fast as possible so they can get playing! And I think putting in big descriptions of what each choice is or means is where some of the flow is coming from. Definitely need to scrap those.

Also realised what I was doing wrong in the previous ‘character creator’ screens for the personality/skill stats and why they weren’t high enough when you picked that they were, in fact, the highest! So, I’ve fixed that for this one, and I will do it for the other books when I can get the time to go back to my spruce up of the previous books too.

Obviously when Book Four releases people will be able to import their character—and I also had a thought on that as well!

With the villain romance being an option, I figure as a player I might already have a character I’ve played through past books with that would work, but I might already be on a romance path (the villain romance only being available on the non-romance ‘friend’ route) so can’t pursue the villain’s storyline.

So I’m thinking of adding in an option where you can modify an imported character with a few choices (such as romance choice). The game will play out as though the character has always had the new options though, so I need to make sure that’s clear. But it’s definitely something I think could work as an option for those that wanted it.

It was definitely a more code-focused week this week, which makes my brain a bit mushy, lol! So I’m very excited to dive back into writing, as well as get the first demo section ready to be sent to the editor and readers…the first time people apart from me will actually see the start of Book Four, hehe!

Hope you all have an incredible weekend! We'll be offline as usual, so I'll update you all again next week! <3

[malkon-dova]

Final Performance / The End (outer wilds)

1st session playthrough liveblog | endgame spoilers ahead for outerwilds | no dlc spoilers please (haven't gotten to it yet)

So the title is self explanatory but. theres quite a bit of content to unpack before we get there so.

at the end of last liveblog i had two things to do: Ash Twin Project, and something I had neglected to mention: Probe Tracking Module!!

If I'm honest, I really didn't care about it much-- ATP was right there!! I wanted to finally figure out it's secrets!!! but i ended up finding the probe first because well. save the best for last yknow? AND MAN.

I'M GLAD I DID.

And oouhh!! the puzzle to get into the core of giants deep was so cool!!! i had to get a few nudges by my friend to get on the right track, but after looking at the rumor log and remembering the jellyfish insulation, I knew what i had to do!! (poor jellyfish though..)

but GOSH. THERE'S SO MUCH THERE. 9,318,054 PROBE LAUNCHES TO FIND THE EYE. THAT'S. INSANE. FUCKING INSANE. AND THE COORDINATES!! DUDE! THE MOMENT I SAW THAT. I KNEW I HAD TO PUNCH THAT INTO THE VESSEL

either way!!!! whether or not I had figured some preetty important lore- i had 1 thing left, Ash Twin Project (Squeee!!!!)

solving this puzzle was kind of funny! i figured that the 'broken' ash-twin warp was the solution, but i was stuck on the fact that the ash pillar would suck me up before i could warp (i knew this bc i tried to do this before out of curiosity). i was able to send my camera through though while i was wandering around- which helped confirm it led to ATP. but the 1st way i actually got there myself was through *waiting* for the the ash to stop pouring out onto Ember and wait for the twins to align, and well.

it sure worked haha (had NO time whatsoever to explore it though, the sun explode music was in full blast). but i did figure out the intentional route! seeing the warp activate in front my eyes by putting my camera on it a few sessions ago helped me realize (along with the nudges and hints my friend was giving me).

and well. the moment i had time to explore, that basically spelled the beginning of the end

finally getting the timeline was cool! the nomai being completely ganked by the ghost crystals was insane; its good but also completely disturbing to know that the comet rupturing was their ultimate downfall. jesus

but yeah. um i saw the advanced warp core and well. its the source of the loop, aint it? no core, no power to keep me from looping post sun-explosion

theres nothing else to do besides take it..

-and then fly directly into the sun, causing me to die permanently and to get. credits.

the end! what a lovely way to get an existential crisis (i was staring at the pause screen for a hot while after, i was a bit shaken up haha)!! The music doesn't help, the looping sun-is-gonna-explode music reprise is sososososo scary dude. its beautiful but I genuinely was gonna have a heart attack.

but nah, of course- just dying? that's not it. i knew that that warp core was destined for the moment i saw it's ass. and man.

plugging in the warp core, inputting the code here (AND IT WAS IN THE BOTTOM CORNER TOO?? THAT WAS COOL), and WARPING??? WAS INSANE. i was panicking the entire time but the MOMENT i activated it...

woah.

WOAH. WOAH. WOAH. WOAH. WOAH. THAT'S THE EYE. THAT'S THE EYE. WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT THE FUCK. OH MY GOD. OHH MY GOD. OH MY GOD OH OH WOAH WOAH

OHHHHH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD OH M YO GOD OH MY OGD GHDSGG?? OH GODDDDD WOW OKAY OKAY OKAY

OKAY COOL OK OK OK UM UM?? UMMMM??? UMMMMMMMMMMMM

WEEEEE

I wish i had a screenshot of when I was falling through the eye, but if i'm being honest, my jaw was on the floor and i was two seconds away from hyperventilating after seeing basically hell- so i think i miiiiight have an excuse to have not screenshot it. that place was scary.

yknow what else is scary? hard teleporting back to the museum. absolutely terrifying. jesus christ.

i suppose this is purgatory

wow.

i'm glad solanum could be part of this. i hadn't heard her piano accompaniment till this sequence, so it was a welcome surprise.

but. yeah. and there we collapsed the universe in on itself, allowing it to be born anew

i'm.

being completely honest here, as i'm typing this, i'm getting weepy all over again- I'm. genuinely so. so so touched by this game. the moment it ended and credits started, i broke down. completely. i hadn't sobbed like this over a game in a bit. like i cried playing isat, and it had it's own share of The Horrors, but Outer Wilds? that completely broke me.

this game is a masterpiece. and absolute masterpiece. it's a story about loss and helplessness, but its a story about acceptance.

i was so scared facing the end, but im sure that was intentional. after all, death- or the end is terrifying. who wouldn't have at least a smidge of fear before seeing their demise? the cycle of renewal has come to a close and it's time to move on.

fuck. fuck man. fucking fuckity fuck christ. im never recovering from this. i will never ever recover. i will not. i refuse. i will take his hurt and live with it forever. my heart will know it intimately

I'll see you guys next time during dlc,,,

additional thoughts: the eye- like everything related to the ending is terrifying. i've loved quantum stuff ever since i learned about it in this game, but MAN does it take it up a notch. a whole planet of quantum. terrifying. genuinely terrifying. the thunder and constantly altering lighting causing the plants and rocks to move is so scary (the oxygen refill is appreciated though) the campfire/final performance location at the end being the title screen location is crazy too!!!!! AND THE MUSIC. OH THE MUSIC THE MUSIC. ATC'S MUSIC IS SO SCARY BUT SO FITTING. ITS THE VERY LOCATION WHERE YOU MEET YOUR END. THE CORE OF YOUR LOOPS. YOU CAN PHYSICALLY HOLD YOUR OWN FATE IN YOUR HANDS AND EITHER PERISH OR DO SOMETHING. OHH... OHHH MY GODDDDDD ALSO I LOST MY CAMERA BUDDY TO THE EYE. which SUCKED. BAD. i was really sad i lost em :( i needed the companionship

but seeing them in the future was nice (didn't get a screenshot of them whizzing by unfortunately)

but yeah! again. amazing. amazing peak game. best 22 minutes of my life. 9,318,054/10

[armandauntie]

I am so intrigued to hear all your thoughts on Armand as a lapsed Muslim hello 👀 as, like, a semi-lapsed Muslim myself I have so many thoughts on what Islam looks like for Armand and I’d love to hear your version if you’re willing to share!

(disclaimer, I am in no way an authority on Islam, especially how Islam is practiced outside my specific Shaami/Egyptian community. this is just my interpretation based on my personal experience. i can also not emphasize enough how lapsed I am, I have forgotten 90% of the sunnahs)

aaaaaaggh thank you I am so grateful for your ask!! I will have to dig around and find the source but I love the take I saw either her or on twitter that Armand has been alienated from his own culture because his culture no longer exists (both because of the fall and semi-erasure of the civilization in which he was raised and because his trauma and unwillingness to acknowledge any part of himself that existed before Marius), as well as Assad's (I think it was Assad, could have also been Rolin Jones) insights that Armand code-switches like crazy both in culture and in attitude for the sake of his survival. It resonated with me as an experience that so many immigrants and Muslims have had and really grounded his character in reality, despite the fact that he's a five-century old vampire which might be hard to relate to.

Taking that along with his specifically non-Arabic recitation of the Asr prayer (him saying 'asr namozi' instead of salat al-asr, although wikipedia is telling me that namozi is specific to uzbekistan which could be intentional or just a script error) meant to me that his observation of Islam was a personal choice that he has kept up over the course of his long, long life rather than just a front intended to sell his performance as Rashid. Now, this could be untrue, because I have no idea how much intention the show-writers put into that single moment (or when he has Malik try to reach the mosque before sundown, which although very warped, is also pretty Muslim) buuuut I would like to believe that it's true and that Islam, in whatever form he learned and internalized it over his life, is something he genuinely practices.

OKAY NOW ACTUALLY GETTING TO HOW I VIEW HIS BELIEFS OR AT LEAST WANT TO VIEW THEM, I see Armand's practice of Islam both as a cultural ritual that gives him normalcy and comfort, which he mentions as something very important to him during his days leading the Paris coven, as well as a very personal and maybe not fully realized version of reckoning with his own existence. When he's discussing the idea of evil with Louis in Paris (in episode 2.3 I believe), he counters Louis very Catholic view of killing as a single, unforgivable sin that catapults one into hell, with a view of evil as a gradient (interestingly, this is a direct quote from the book, which posits Armand more as a very Cristian-influenced atheist), but the idea of gradiation in evil is something that reminds me so much of the concept of haram in Islam and how many Muslims in my community believe of it (the halal-haram ratio, if you will). Doing good deeds, showing your devotion to Allah/God through recitation, donation, etc., are all important and worthwhile even if you also also commit acts that are haram, whether that's drinking alcohol, blaspheming, committing aldultery, and in Armand's case, a ton of murder. I see this echoed in how my famiily practices, how myself and my gay friends practice, and even how Muslim characters are portrayed in literature like the Palace Walk series by Naguib Mahfouz. It also especially echoed how I and other gay Muslim people feel as an irrifutable part of ourselves is viewed as inherantly haram, and specifically how we reconsile that with ourselves and our faith. I personally don't see my homosexuality as a sin, but that took a long time for me to come to terms with, and a lot of gay Muslims still view their own sexuality as haram, and process that alongside their faith.

I also think that debate and introspection is a central tennant in Islam, which you can see through masjids becoming the worlds' first universities, as well as through how masjids make time for discussion and questioning during Jummah. The fact that Armand and Louis bond over debates of faith felt extremely Muslim to me.

Although it's very likely not Quranic in nature, the balance of belief and ritual with acts of 'sin' is extremely Muslim to me, and that is exactly what Armand does. The way I interpret it, it's the only way he can live with himself, with his horrific trauma and guilt. Catholicism (a religion I was also raised with), is very all-or-nothing, and that's a source of Louis' trauma. Some versions of Islam are also like that, but so many are not.

Part of the reason I have this account is because I love to highlight the beauty and the thoughtfulness of Islam, because it is so rare for any Western media to show. It's demoralizing and infuriating to only see Muslim people as either terrorists or victims, and it's a big part of the reason I latched on so much to Armand in the show.

Okay that turned into a massive essay, so apologies for that, and I'm also sure there are a million points I'm forgetting. If you (or others) have any points that you also want to bring up, please feel free! This topic brings me so much joy.

[johnslittlespoon]

It just makes so much sense that you were writing in 2013, you have the unhinged vibe that the golden fics from that era had.

I'm just here to compliment you really lol, mostly because I am giving a try to write a lil something for the first time and god I can only dream of ever being able to write as good as you. I've been writing poems and music for years now but i find writing actual coherent storys with characters and dialogue so so hard.

I was wondering if you have any tips, or like little rules you follow when you write.

all the love, xxx

🌷

I'M GONNA CRYYYY this was the sweetest thing in the world to wake up to wtf wtf <333 thank you SO much, i really appreciate this wahh my heart :'))) but also you are SILLY. don't compare yourself to others!! if we all did that constantly we'd never get anything written!! there are SO many authors i adore on here that will always have me chasing the "i wish i could write like that" feeling and it's a great motivator but alsooo at the end of the day. you gotta fall in love with your own words and characters and stories <33

and i feel that so much!! we are twinsss, i also started out writing poems and music and then realized i had stories i wanted to tell that wouldn't fit in shorter form, then discovered fanfic in middle school in the early '10s and it was all downhill from there LOL. truly such a golden era tho oh my god. growing up reading the hat fic and borderline illegible wattpad stories was certainly... formative!

yapping ahead vv (i don't have much advice bc i'm still just learning as i go but hopefully some stuff i picked up on can be a bit helpful!)

i have zero method to the madness when writing so it's a relief to know it doesn't come off that way LOL but i do have a few little things that i follow and i always look for them when beta–ing as well! they're pretty small technical things and they're generally up to personal preference, but some of them come from authors i admire and i think they can really take anyone's writing up a notch <3

i don't feel qualified to give advice because i'm just raw–dogging everything lmao i've never taken classes or anything, so take all this yapping with a grain of salt bc it's just what's worked for me!

– i try to use descriptors like "the man" or "the blond" or "his friend" etc sparingly. i wish i could remember the source, but i read a great piece about why it's better to just go with the character's name 99% of the time, and then i went through so many of my works to edit them and i felt so much more confident in my writing afterwards– it made a big difference in readability (imo).

ofc there are exceptions, like if the name of a character is unknown, or if there are too many names being thrown around in one sentence and a "the man" or "the soldier" etc just sits nicer. i definitely still use them occasionally! but it does sometimes put some distance between the reader and the story when those descriptors are used too often instead of names, so it's a good thing to keep an eye out for when it comes to flow. sometimes less or more or whateva ??

– sorta on the topic of less is more, i love challenging myself to show vs tell when i can! whether it's by keeping dialogue short and letting actions speak instead (can add to intimacy/realism– we communicate so much through body language yk), through metaphors (literally how my whole '#john egan is dog coded' fic was born LOL), or describing feelings rather than spelling them out (his heart ached vs he was sad, his pulse raced vs he was scared, you get the gist). you said you've been writing poems so i feel like stuff like that would already probably come easily to you tho! <3

– this guide on ao3 is great for smut writers! whether someone's a beginner or just looking for ways to elevate the filth, i found it really helpful, it's a fun read as well lol. it calls out stereotypes/cliches and teaches you how to reword them, gives lists of slang and reactionary words, do's and don't's, etc. i don't follow everything in it but that's the beauty of writing; we all have things that work for us and things that don't and that's so okay. :-)

– in the same way that artists use references to practice and find their style, you can do that with writing too! i know a lot of writers have a doc or note where they jot down stylistic things they find while reading that they'd like to emanate, or words they want to use, specific phrases, descriptors, etc. if i'm reading a fic and find an auditory descriptor i like, i might take note of it, stuff like that. sorta like a text document version of a pinterest board!

– thesaurus.com is my best friend truly. often going with the 'simplest' version of a word makes for smoothest reading so someone isn't taken out of the story being like wtf does that word mean lol but sometimes things can feel repetitive, or like there just needs to be a little bit more spice; i probs go back and forth btwn my doc and thesaurus a dozen times an hour tbh.

that's all i can think of rn and ik those are pretty basic so i'm sorry about that!! i really do just kinda write what evokes emotions in myself, and then i hit post and hope it translates over to whoever is reading too :') drawing from your own experiences if you can/really sitting with what the characters would be feeling in whatever scenario you're writing is probably the most powerful way to present what you see in your mind.

i have a hard time writing about emotions/things i haven't personally experienced, so i usually stray away from it out of fear of not getting across what i want to, but some people are great at winging it and putting themselves in unfamiliar shoes so!! it's again just personal preference really.

and alsooo be kind to yourself! i'm an anxious wreck every time i post any of my writing, i am very much not confident when posting new fics and i agonize over my docs so much and trash a lot of works, but i know at the end of the day i can't grow or learn if i don't get the words down, and i can't get feedback or gain confidence if i don't post. becoming your own hype man and giving yourself the opportunity to improve is essential <33

sooo much love and best of luck!!! lmk if you end up writing smth, i'd love to read it (◠‿◠✿)

[lara635kookie]

In regards to your ship analysis, I have a few pieces of constructive criticism. I am glad you are open to taking feedback, as it is how you improve writing.

Your argument that Julia is not blue-coded does not hold up, mainly because of your use of the "Shades of Black" graphic. Using a graphic that is unrelated to the source material you are discussing does not support your point. In order to prove whether or not Julia is blue-coded, it would be best to take a screenshot from the show, take it to a photo editor, and color pick her outfit, taking directly from the source. This way, you can determine if her outfit is truly blue, or blue based (many blacks, including the blacks in the graphic you used, are based in blue tones).

Your claims that CarmIvy and RedCrackle have irrefutable romantic moments are not sufficiently backed up. You point out that they look at each other, and that they have coffee dates. Who's to say those looks and coffees were not platonic between friends? It's arguable if it is romantic or not, just like it is with Carulia. How is that irrefutably romantic, and Carmen and Julia's first meeting on the train is not?

Your interpretation of Julia as a "cutie cutie lil bean wholesome smol uwu pie" seems rather demeaning. She is strong and badass, just as Ivy and Crackle are, but it is shown through her intellect, rather than her strength. Claiming that you believe she would be awkward in a relationship is not backed up. How did you reach that conclusion?

My biggest criticism is that you called your post an analysis, when I believe it is more of an opinion piece. Many of your points are not sufficiently backed up due to a lack of explanation through source material. It seems as though you relied on unrelated graphics, personal opinions, and headcanons, rather than source material- often overlooking source material entirely.

Hello. Thanks for the feedback! I actually did took some screenshots of the show and analyzed them with picsarts and none of them seemed blue to me. And I thought black and white were the color base so there's no way black is based in blue but blue is based in black? I don't know, I'm not an artist but I got a friend who is and he told me that. So even if Julia is blue, Gray and Ivy seem more blue in a more clear way, and there are another parallels between their characters that I commented on part 7. Actually I pointed out more things than looks and coffee because my ship analysis has eight parts divided in eight posts. I just think it's curious there is these parallels between Red Crackle and Carmivy and not Carulia. Besides, Carmen Sandiego is a pretty good "show don't tell" series so some things will be written between the lines. The looks between Carmivy and Red Crackle seemed romantic to me(specially Red Crackle, Carmen bites her lip) and they never did with Carulia. Carmen and Julia first meet in the train we see clearly Carmen looks at Devineaux's suitcase after she asks "partner?" And she knows it was Devineaux's since she lets them there for Julia to find it since Devineaux was cuffed on the train seat. I analyzed like that because Carmen Sandiego is a show that is based on a fair number of things in real life(specially the places, the geography, etc) so if it was on real life, pretty much almost no one would say the looks between Red Crackle and Carmivy are platonic(I know because I asked some friends and they all thought it was romantic)(they haven't watched the show so they got no ship preference) and the ones between Carmen and Julia had less certain answers. When I was watching the show, I realized these things with Red Crackle and Carmivy during the show and I only found out Carulia was a thing after the show was over(yes I also played the interactive tsonts special, more than once). Besides, the eyes are the window of the soul. And it plays some importance in the shiping of the show since Carmen has greyish blue eyes that can indicate she only has eyes for Gray or Julia since Argent means silver, if I'm not mistaken. So I think It's valid to analyze looks. I never denied Carulia could have romantic implications they just don't seem consistent to me and Red Crackle and Carmivy are more noticeable and appealing to me. The things between these two seem more explicit to me than Carulia and they stand out to me the most. The way I described Julia was actually a joke. I like her character and I found her a very relatable breath of fresh air. On this one, we'll have to agree on disagree. I think Julia is intelectually and overall strong but I don't think she's badass. Not being badass is not a flaw. Not everyone can be badass(I'm not, for example). It's a trait that adds to the character but it's not mandatory for me. I have this theory because of the way she acts with Devineaux. They are so awkward together and I love them for that but it is my personal interpretation after all. I wrote on a post I made before the analysis that it was going to be an analysis of why I like Red Crackle and Carmivy and don't like Carulia so about this I warned everyone and made it clear from the start what it was all about. I named/called it an analysis because I described then analysed moments of the show and its characters and ships, stating my own interpretation and analysis of them. I did mention my personal opinion and headcanons but there isn't that much time since I finished the show and I tried to be the most loyal as possible to the original source material. Anyway, again, thanks for taking your time to write this feedback to me. I will take your considerations and keep them in mind to improve my content

[darkgorerat]

Hey. My name is Gore Rat. This’ll sound so cringey and weird. I don’t know WHY I thought clicking on a random fucking link on a random fucking twitter post was a good idea, but hey. Make me an example to never click on SHIT without looking up the source.

It was your average Friday afternoon. I was in my room, scrolling on Twitter. I came across a post – linking to a website I didn’t recognize. I decided to read through the post, just to see if this website was worth clicking on.

“I found this weird Sonic game just lying around on the web. Played it for a bit – actually pretty damn cool. Instead of Sonic or Tails or any of the big popular characters, you can play as Silver and Blaze! There’s also a villain story – kind of like Sonic Adventure 2. Just thought I'd share it around the internet.”

Weird. It’s a classic Sonic game... but with Silver, Blaze, and a villain story? The longer I looked at the tweet, the more I wanted to click the link. Damn you, internet.

So, I did what any person would do. Opened Discord and hopped into a call with my two friends, Sasha and Riley. We boot up the link and immediately see red flags. The SEGA logo flickered? That’s not normal. I didn’t notice it at first – but Sasha did. She pointed it out, but my computer is trash as hell so I brushed it off as it processing the code weirdly.

The game played pretty normally, for the most part. Playing as Blaze was pretty damn cool, given we were never meant to play as her in the classic sonic mode. Sure, there were glitches here and there – some of the assets were unloaded. Looking through the recorded footage, we should’ve realized that was NOT normal.

The minor glitches only really happened in Green Hill. It didn’t matter much; the game was still very playable and fun. They died down in Chemical Plant. This, as far as we were concerned at this point, was just a fangame made by some Sonic ‘06 fanatic.

The next red flags, which were slowly getting more apparent as we played through the game, were the pop-ups. Things like “Warning - this game might have a virus!” and “Warning - suspicious activity within Classic_Silver_the_hedgehog.zip.” MAJOR red flag, but I guess we were too caught up praising the Blaze sprites to care.

Speaking of those, her sprites were kind of broken. Glitchy and the coloring was off. That’s why we were paying so much attention to it. It’s a dumb reason to ignore the red flags waving in our faces, but whatever. It was, like, three am. Our brains were too focused on how pink she looked rather than the off coloring and saturation of the background and the enemies, or lack thereof.

That was the next red flag. Where the hell were the enemies. We were meant to be fighting Eggman, but he just... wasn’t there? The game crashed after that. We all kind of agreed that was odd but we opened the game up again and decided to play as Silver, just to see how his powers would be implemented. Silver’s version of the game, good god was this shit BROKEN. Glitches, saturation, ZERO enemies, and there were flashes of words we couldn’t read because they lasted FIVE FUCKING SECONDS. This was probably the BIGGEST red flag.

We all agreed that we would continue playing in the morning since it was now four in the morning and Riley had things to do the next day. So, I closed out the game, left the call, and crawled back into bed.

Thinking about the situation, it kind of reminded me of that one news thing that happened when I was young. This guy named Kyle found dead in his house, his friend Tom following with a Sonic disk in his hands. Broken, at that, but that story always freaked me out. What murderer kills two guys and blames a Sonic the Hedgehog disk for it. Freak. Whatever, I eventually fell asleep.

We all got up the next day, and when Riley was free from the grasp of his dentist, we hopped on call. We booted the game up again and continued playing Silver’s route. Once more, let me say, HOLY FUCK, this game was BROKEN. The glitches got worse every single level, and the flashing words made me lower the brightness on my computer to avoid wanting to rip my eyes out. That’s how bad it was.

Sasha managed to go through the previous day’s footage and get the stuff from the flashing words. “HELP US,” “WHY WON’T YOU DIE,” “STUPID SLUTTY BITCH.” These sentences were so fucking... vulgar. And for what? A kids game? I swear, they were NOT warranted for whatever they were targeted to.

We got to the boss part and the game crashed again. I was actually going to start freaking out, cause when we opened the game, it mentioned me BY NAME. My computer’s name is DarkGoreRat. NOT my name. Freaked me out. I have NOTHING that refers to me by my actual name – my friends literally just started calling me Gore Rat.

I deleted the game, obviously. I’m not fucking stupid. I’m not keeping a game that knows my full name when I don’t even have it fucking saved.

If the creator of that fucked fangame reads this: You are an asshole. Spreading your game directed towards people and breaking their computers. Get a life, dickhead. But, otherwise, that’s all I can share until we can get everything figured out.

[sunchaserwings]

Guess I am liveblogging watching the BBC Sherlock. I can't help myself apparently. Starts after the cut, (I finally figured out how those work!)

Mild spoilers ahead!!!!!

Okay so I just started episode 2. First things first, girl, you could just tell him "No" instead of being all cryptic like "You wouldn't like me" and "I can't. Please stop asking" when he's asking you on a date.

Is... is that a katana being wielded by that person??? It doesn't even look well-cared for?

Roommate: "I can see Herlock trying to hide he's been attacked like that." Yeah, probably. He'd kick a katana underneath his chair. Unfortunately, his "Watson" would notice.

Okay I hate that people keep calling Sherlock a freak and every time I expect Watson to deck a guy. Come on, defend your colleague if you're not willing to call him your friend. Also, seeing this episode when I work as a security guard is kind of killing me. I... this security setup is not that good at all, even back in 2010 and this is supposed to be an expensive ass bank??? Yeahhh, kinda doesn't do it for me. That should be live video footage, not a single frame every minute. Also don't keep access to the door entry logs behind the reception counter.

Part of the only way I'm getting through this is by noting what behaviors of Sherlock match those of Herlock Sholmes from The Great Ace Attorney Chronicles and which are more faithful to the original source material as well. Do I need to start keeping a running counter of "Herlock Sholmes would totally do this"? Because if so, we're at three in this episode alone.

Sir??? The medical examiner should be the only one removing evidence from the interior of the body??? Sherlock please, forensics student here is dying. Also detail I noticed, no powder burn on the wound. Either the makeup team was lazy or this is plot important.

Watson is still my favorite character. He also mentioned stuff about traders and stuff which is accurate to the books. And ohhh, Sherlock is pissed. Shaky cam in this feels a bit excessive-- oh you look like Kane Bullard. Yeah you're dead. Does every journalist leave library books on their flat stairs or...?

Modern code-breaking methods won't unravel what? Poor Watson getting held up for vandalizing a public building because he didn't run fast enough. Feels like Herlock and Ryūnosuke lol.

Oh come on, this guy seems sweet. Don't blame him for his crush resigning. Unless he's the killer of course... oh there's a lady taking pictures of Watson? That's worrying. WAIT IS THE DETECTIVE INSPECTOR JUST HANDING OVER EVIDENCE TO A RANDOM CIVILIAN??? CHAIN OF EVIDENCE, I HARDLY KNOW HER!

Watson actually helping Sherlock with his deductions by pointing out something the detective didn't notice and in an almost book-accurate way.

Is Watson about to be poisoned I s2g this man needs a break. It's only the second episode. Oh adding another to the "Sherlock doing a Herlock move" counter. Yippee... also this episode is starting to feel kind of racist. Actually more than that.

Sherlock please go let Watson in-- never mind you uh.... fell for a trap. I don't like how independent this Sherlock is when he's got John right there. Why doesn't the doctor realize that Sherlock was choked and strangled half to unconsciousness??? Unrealistic af.

Kinda like this graffiti artist dude. Hope he comes back. He probably won't. WAIT WHY ARE YOU SPLITTING THE PARTY??? GODDAMMIT YOU TWO! WATSON YOU'RE BETTER THAN THIS!

John shouldn't be staring at the ground like that. He should be scanning side to side and up and down constantly. At least he was smart enough to take a photo of the damn thingimajig. John is so relatable on the matter of sleep, at least.

This woman is so dedicated to her work of restoring these ancient relics that she keeps breaking into the museum to care for and restore them. Also I just learned where the Morag Tong from the Elder Scrolls get their name from. Makes sense now. Buuuuut this also feels really awkward and weird and not in the fun way.

I think we all know Watson has the real brain cell here-- wait no he just left the target alone to go help Sherlock never mind. I think she's going to die. She deserved better. Welp, this is gonna haunt John.

Scotland Yard being incompetent, check. Sherlock being an uneccesary ass to Molly, check. Why is he written like this I hate it. WAIT THOSE TATTOOS WOULD HAVE BEEN NOTED ON THE AUTOPSY REPORT WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS WRITING???? MY FORENSICS STUDENT ASS IS GOING HAYWIRE

Quest search using internet explorer. Gods this is old. No wonder last episode that "MePhone" app took so long to load. Watson update your browser to Firefox. Also Mrs. Hudson appearance! We don't know much about her in the original books but BBC her seems to be somewhat faithful adaptation wise, however Sherlock's behavior towards her is not. Oh and adding another to the Herlock Sholmes counter.

John passed out from exhaustion didn't he. Not a good look when you're just starting out-- oh at least you apologized for it-- he's flirting. Okay John you go and get yourself a girlfriend. Hope this relationship lasts (it probably won't). Looks like Sherlock is interfering with the date... goddammit. Oh fuck the second hand embarrassment is killing me.

The yellow filter is ass. Stop this. Also is that a goddamn crossbow. It is. Sarah is also... a character. I guess. Very dull and uninteresting, clearly only there for John's character arc. Is this how most — if not all — of the women are going to be?

John you're in a room with a killer that has seen your face. There is no way this ends well. Also expecting Sherlock to get a gun to his head or something. Never mind he almost gets a sword to the face. WATSON YOU'RE A BETTER FIGHTER THAN THIS-- Oh Sarah is a badass. Okay, I guess she has a bit of a character.

Sherlock you need to eat. Also please stop being an ass to Sarah she's trying to help-- in fact she's actually helping!!!

Nice callback to the first episode, Sherlock knows German! Also this is canon to the books! He knows a ton of European languages as does Watson! Although Watson's Italian is canonically worse than Holmes'.

Thats not Holmes knocking at the door. Aaaand Watson is down. Watson abducted? Is Sarah a double agent? Sherlock is going to go apeshit. Never mind Sarah isn't. This relationship isn't going to last-- creepy camera lady just called Watson "Holmes". Oh yeah, this relationship is not continuing. Sorry John.

Sherlock Holmes to the rescue! Kinda acting like Batman but this is also accurate to the books! Really nice touch to show off his ability to confound his enemies in combat. Also add one to three "John has killed a man to protect Sherlock" counter.

"Don't worry. Next date won't be like this." IF THERE IS A NEXT DATE???? WHAT????

Accidentally posted early at this point but I'm just editing the post.

PA Lady has the hairpin. Oh my God, she has the hairpin. It's over a thousand years old.

Oh look someone just left a cipher mark outside. Is this a goddamn Moriarty thing? Are they only here because of Moriarty? I need to make a separate rant about Moriarty at some point because the entirety of the Sherlock Holmes fandom just latched onto him when CHARLES MILVERTON WAS ALSO RIGHT THERE

Anyhow that's episode 2 done. Feels really kinda racist, John gets to do more but also is kinda not smart sometimes, and Sherlock is an ass. Oh and Moriarty cameo. Yippee... see y'all for episode 3 later. Sun signing off

[unlimitedtrees]

a build from mid 2015 of my old game 'Mr. Waffle Lover', and why everyone should archive their work

hello. this is gonna be a quick little post to talk about something. as you might already know. i've been making games since 2014. one of my Very First projects was a game called 'Mr. Waffle Lover'. i have a Lot to talk about it, but i want to save that for later. For now, i have something else i need to talk about.

So. this project was/is pretty important to me. it was one of the first things i made Ever, before i was even called 'Unlimited Trees' and before i was involved in Any online communities. i was learning A Lot from making it... a lot of the stuff i did for it is Unrecognizable from my current work.. and i havent made anything like it since. it means a lot to me, at least now.

Back Then, However... i did not treasure my work as i did now. You See, this game went through TONS of iterations. from 2014 to 2017, this game went through many changes across Multiple different project files, all with different assets and programming. during the early days, when i gave up on one iteration of the project, i would simply Delete the old files off my computer. And Then, at the beginning of 2016 when i changed my username to 'Unlimited Trees', i deleted ALL of my old work.

TONS of old games ive made were lost. some of the Very First works ive done Ever are completely missing. years of work went down the drain because i wanted to move on from my old work. But as time passed.. i became more fond of my old work, but realized that i could Never see any of it again. and since i never shared any of it to anyone outside of a few old friends (who i dont even have contact with anymore), there was no way i could get any of it back.

But. about over a year ago or so, i went through my old laptop and was able to find a bunch of old files with quite a few of my old games... some of these files werent the latest builds of these games so there was still a lot missing, but i was So Glad i found them... i have So Much i want to share and talk about and im happy i can share at least a little bit of the work ive done alone for years. even if no one cares about some dumb old games, im at least happy i dont have to worry about losing them again..

ANYWAYS. about this build of 'Mr. Waffle Lover'. it is the fourth iteration of the game. it has ideas which no other iteration has done (mainly the 'TNT' jumps). it has art and levels which i kind of like compared to the other early iterations. and it actually Plays Kind of Good , even if it is a little janky and basic. unlike most versions of the game, i actually remember sending builds of this to old friends, but i dont know if they ever played it or even still have it (i doubt they do Lol).

there's a lot more i could probably say about this, but i dont have the energy right now and will probably talk about it later in another post about 'Mr. Waffle Lover'. i have a Lot to share about it... just now is not the time. the video i posted speaks for itself, i think. its just a simple platformer with a basic OC. theres some stuff that wasnt shown in the video, such as an unfinished boss fight. but aside from that, thats all there is to see.

anyways, the point of this post is that i want to encourage more people to archive their work and not do what i did and delete all your stuff. even if in the moment you dont think your stuff is important.. you should at least keep your stuff saved in case you ever want to look back at it. Especially if youve been making things for Years... you might want to see just how much youve grown.. thats how i feel anyways. i am still missing a ton of work that ive made.. and ive since tried to archive everything i make. ive been making games for 8 years, and i put a Lot of time into the stuff ive made.. i never want to throw out any of my work again.

thats all i have to say for now i think. By The Way, the source code for this build of the game can be found here. just in case u want to give it a look. And By The Way, it's in my pinned post, but i have a few google drive folders full of All of my old projects, including everything i have from Waffle Lover (or 'Project Waffle', as it's called). i plan on moving more stuff onto github and making more posts about it.. but for now u can look thru it if u like

[dichotomousvariable]

and before taeri even realizes it she's making herself home at his table, disregarding if there was another he was reserving the opposite seat from him ⏤ that was no longer important anyway. "oh my god what the hell ⏤ like i knew you moved to korea but i didn't think that you'd be like ⏤" as she motions wildly to him there's an almost piercing sshhh! shot their way at her raised volume, to which she rolls her eyes and continues whispering animatedly, "you'd be here out of all places! and you still look so adorable, aww! how have you been! what are you doing here? wait⏤ you're a fucking anomaly too?" and the emotions roll through her face like a movie screen while she speaks: astonishment, elation, a faint moment of pondering before awe once more.

'alex?'

it's a name wooseok hasn't heard in ages—over ten years, in fact—but somehow, it still makes him raise his head, searching for the source. no one here would call him that; he'd stopped going by that name quickly after moving to busan, and yet, there it is, hanging in the air.

his eyes have trouble adjusting for a moment; he had been staring at lines of code for hours, making everything outside of his screen bleed together. wooseok doesn't have to look hard, though, not when the culprit drops herself across from him, causing him to blink hard, staring at her, dumbfounded.

"... holy shit, madison?" 'childhood best friend', 'the one friend of his that his mom approved of', 'person he never thought he'd see again but sometimes appeared in his dreams' madison? he blinks a few more times, rubbing his eyes, almost thinking that this can't possibly be real, and he's just really, truly, fully losing it this time.

but she's still there, contagiously smiling at him, where he can't help but feel himself joining in. her words—specifically calling him 'adorable'—bring a heat to his face, and he quickly brings up his hands to cover his cheeks. "aha, yeah, i never really got rid of my baby face. i'm sure i hardly look different."

the same couldn't be said for her. she looks... so different, changed by over a decade. wooseok supposes that it's easy for him to miss change in himself; he sees himself every day, after all, so she might be having the same thoughts as him. for once in his life, he wishes he wasn't wearing the stupid nullivi patch, so he could know for sure.

"goddamn, we have a lot of catching up to do, huh? i can't believe you're here. i mean, my family moved so suddenly, i feel like i didn't even get to really say goodbye. they found out i was a freaky anomaly kid and basically had to leave almost immediately. little did i know it wasn't even actually goodbye." another pause. there are so many things he wants to say, but he's not sure how.

"ah... never mind about me, what about you? how did you end up here?"

[hulhudhonado]

The Moment They Fell For You (2)

Note: I actually planned on writing all the Sumeru characters in one post but I thought it was getting a bit long. So I decided to split them instead. Also I think people do not write enough fanfic for the female characters. I did not proof read this at all. Sorry if it's not up to standard. Enjoy.

CW: None

HC: Reader is gender neutral and does not have a vision.

Characters: Cyno, Nilou

Cyno

You had known the General Mahamatra ever since you both studied in the Akademiya together. You watched him surpass you and your colleagues, rising to the ranks to where he is now. You watched in awe and also ashamed of yourself for not being able to keep up to his level. However times had passed and now you too were a scholar teaching amongst the rest in Akademiya.

While most tended to to go down the path of finding new information or discoveries for the next hit paper, you kept to yourself keeping logs of all the current surplus of information scattered through the Akademiya walls and passing those knowledge to the budding scholars of the future.

You and Cyno were not close friends however you both friendly enough for a wave or a quick hello back to each other since you were one of the few scholars that didn't seem to fear his gaze. Otherwise you barely saw him, knowing that he was someone who tended to do his job hidden or by himself. Due to the difference in your jobs you didn't expect to cross one another anytime soon, but when news came that one of your students may have been working to acquire illegal knowledge capsules you and him somehow ended up together in the mission to catch them in the act.

"I can't believe this is happening." You groaned to yourself, face in your hands while you crouched against the wall. This was the worst thing to ever happen in your entire history as a teacher. You couldn't believe that one of your students were going this far just to pass the exam. Were you too strict? Did you fail to teach them properly? It was too late either way. You looked up from your hands to stare at Cyno who stared down at your crouched form. His face emotional less and his glare sharp.

If it were anyone else they would be whimpering under his gaze, but you could tell he didn't seem to harbor any negative feelings. Well at least not to you. "If the rumors are true they will be held accountable. You don't need to worry about that. " You shook your head, standing up and facing him head on.

"It's not that." Cyno arched an eyebrow. "It's an issue with me. If I did my job as a teacher properly they wouldn't have needed to take such drastic measures. If this is true I at least want to hear their side. I want to make sure this never happens again." You answered, trying to keep a brave front. Cyno stared at you blankly before turning away to walk out from the building. "Do whatever you want. It depends on what we find anyway."

You watched him walk out of the door. All you could do was sigh, following after him. How embarrassing was it that this was the first time you both had talked to each other properly. "If this is how fast you plan on going the entire mission we aren't going to finish anytime soon." You jumped in shock, realizing that he had not left you to catch up but was waiting for you outside the door. "My apologies." You mumbled, even more embarrassed than before. This was not going to be a fun.

---

The plan was simple . Since you kept a low profile compared to most scholars, it would be easy for you to infiltrate the merchant camp with the rest of the knowledge capsule hunters. After sneaking in, using the codes that were given to you by an unknown source, Cyno mentioned he had his ways but he did not look pleased about it, you would try to find your student amongst the crowd. After they had been spotted all you needed to do was take a picture using the kamera.

After the evidence had been acquired, all you needed to do was send the signal to Cyno and rush out of the place as fast as you can so that Cyno could shut the whole place down for good. You could feel yourself getting nervous the closer you stepped near the camp. You still had hope that maybe your student was just being framed or it had been someone else.

However seeing the familiar face amongst the rest of the buyers only filled you with dread. You reached your hand to grab the kamera, slowly inching close to be able to take a clear picture of them in the act. Just as you were about to pick the kamera out for a quick picture, you halted hearing the distress in your student's voice.

"We can't be here father. There are already rumors about me. My grades are not even that bad, I can pass the bar exam without the knowledge capsule." You heard them say only to be hushed harshly. You could feel your eyebrow twitch in rage. You watched as your student looked around worriedly, trying to drag their father away from the rest of the crowd.

You felt the tension in your body release, your student wasn't the one who wanted to get access to the knowledge capsules. Their father just was a cunt. You wanted to go there and drag them away from him, telling them that it will all be ok. You looked down at the kamera and then to the signal in your hand.

Without a second thought, you clicked to the button to release the signal. You winced hearing the loud sound it made, Cyno was not lying when he said he would hear it from miles away. The merchants and buyers looked around dazed by the sudden sound. You immediately began to make a run for it but instead of the door you ran straight towards your student.

Pushing their father to a side after he had loosened his grip, you grabbed your student by the wrist and began to make a run for it. You could hear your student shout your name in shock but you continued to make a run for it, hearing the now panicked and distressed calls of the people back in the illegal trade "THE GENERAL MAHATRAMA! HE'S HERE!". You could feel a smile form on your lips, Cyno was definitely having a field day.

---

You could feel Cyno's irritation when he realised what you had actually done. However you were lucky enough that he was willing to hear you and your student out. You were glad they rumors were not actually true and it wasn't them who wanted to acquire illegal knowledge and you were happy to know Cyno was willing to actually believe you.

"Thank you." You said, you could feel your face heat up and at this point you couldn't tell whether it was from the joy of helping your student or whether you were just feeling shy. You could see Cyno's eye twitch a bit however his face remained stoic. "I was just doing my job. The trade was successfully shut down because of this anyway. We shouldn't be hearing about any illegal knowledge capsules anytime soon." You shook your head.

"I meant for letting my student go." You smiled at him and he huffed. You wondered if you were imagining it but you could feel him seem shyer than before. " That was barely anything."

"Still let me pay you back in a way." Cyno raised an eyebrow at you. "What do you suggest?"

"Maybe dinner? Or perhaps a game? I heard you loved playing a certain card game." You teasingly mention, pulling out a new pack of cards that you had made sure to bring with you just for this. You could see a glint of light form in his eyes.

"I can't turn down a challenge." He answered. Cyno didn't know what to make of you when he first met you, all he remembered was how you would gingerly wave at him whenever he would catch you staring while he instinctively waved back. He watched you grow fond of your students and show your interests to teach. You might not think he cared too much about you but he was always paying attention.

You guys were not close but you were always in the back of his mind. Maybe that was why he decided to hear you out when you decided to pull something risky like that during the mission. Either way, Cyno always had a form of affection for you and it seems your invitation to play Genius Invokation TCG has finally confirmed that maybe it might be just more than acquaintances. Cyno just hoped his stoic nature would keep it under wraps, at least for now.

Nilou

"Do you know how to dance?"

It was the first thing that Nilou had said to you when she saw you trying to dance on the outskirts of Sumera city. You decided to stroll into the Grand Bazaar one day. You just went inside to peak. The Akademiyan scribes would have been completely against you from entering but you were so curious. They always had something bad to say about the place and you just had to find out why hated the place so much.

You stumbled inside during an event that day. The lights illuminated the stage and the star of the show swayed to the rhythm of the music. You stared in awe when you saw how delicately she danced. She looked as if she was floating. All eyes were on her, including yours. She didn't even stumble at any moment and you couldn't even see a bead of sweat dripping down her face. 'Must be an angel' You thought.

You didn't expect to stay for the whole event but you lost track of time. Watching show after show, the theatre had so much to offer! Why would the Akademiya be so against it? The shows were exciting and full of life, most of them even showed a valuable lessons which were easy to understand by the general public.

Either way you got hooked on going to see what they had in store, especially the dances. The moves felt so calculated and precise. You could feel your Akademiya brain trying to figure out how they did it, which was what lead you to your first encounter with Nilou.

You were trying to copy what you had written down during one of the events. You wrote down her exact foot placements, the way her hips swayed to the beat and even the different speeds changes during all movements. However nothing was going right! You kept stumbling over you feet and you could not meet the beats.

You were surprised on how scarred you got during the process, who knew you would stumble so much just to learn how to dance? You huffed, wiping the dirt and grime off your outfit and pulling out the notebook from your pocket. You could not figure out what you were doing wrong? You repeated the steps in your head, jotting down what you had possibly missed causing your failed attempt. You sighed frustratedly, putting the notebook back into your pocket.

You made your way towards the river and began to pose. Nilou started her routine dance in a specific way and you wanted to find a way to replicate it. You looked at your reflection, you were too stiff and it looked awkward. You kept trying find a good angle and that was when Nilou had popped out, asking you the question.

You yelped, almost falling into the river, however you were saved as gentle arms grabbed you by the waist. You looked at her as she steadied you before letting you go. "I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to scar you!" She said, arms up and face apologetic. You could feel your face warm up.

"How long have you been watching?" Nilou chucked a bit. "A while now. " You could feel your face become warmer. Nilou looked at you worriedly. "Oh! I wasn't watching you on purpose or anything! I was actually collecting some wood for the theatre props! I'm so sorry for invading your privacy!" She said, pointing towards the bundle of wood collected near by some trees.

You shook your head, trying to calm yourself down. The angel in your favorite new pastime had saw you dancing like a mess, however you still had some Akademiya scholar pride, you couldn't show her that this situation bothered you. You coughed into your hand, trying to hide the rest of the blush which was slowly going away. "It's alright. It's not like this is a private area anyway. I'll be on my way."

You turn to go pick up your stuff only for your arm to be captured by Nilou's firm grasp. "Oh please wait! I saw you dancing and you seemed you needed some guidance. I could help you practice if you like!" You turned to look at her as she smiled at you. Her eyes were such a gentle blue and full of life. You couldn't say no to that.

"That would be quite helpful actually." You mumbled quietly, still trying to keep whatever pride you had left in you. You wanted to know how to dance, you wanted to feel like you were floating as well. Nilou let out a laugh, it was sweet and you could feel yourself get butterflies in your stomach just from hearing it. "Let's get started then shall we?"

That was the start of your dance practice journey with Nilou. If Nilou wasn't in the theatre she was near the outskirts of Sumeru City with you. She taught you from the very beginning. It started from stretching. You were stiff as a board, which was how Nilou described you when you couldn't even bend to touch your toes. You tried to tough it out and you were surprised to see how fast results showed.

You looked at Nilou excitedly after you were successfully able to do her entire exercise routine without asking for a break. She giggled at your joy, she never had such a student who wanted to learn this much.

Then she showed you how to match the rhythm. It was simple, she held your hand and guided you.

First Step, Second Step, First Step, Second Step.

You held onto her hands tightly, watching both of your feet's intensely. You were worried that you would step on her toes at any moment. However during this moment all Nilou could do was stare at your face, eyebrows furrowed making sure not to miss a step. She couldn't but think how cute you looked so serious for something so simple.

Finally after learning the basics, she showed you how to do a simple routine, all the dance steps separately. You showed her your notebook full of all the records you kept of her shows. She looked at it enthusiastically. "You wrote this all down?" You gave her a nod, proud of your academic ability to be able to take notes down so well.

She stared at the notes which were accompanied by the drawings. You had written down almost her entire show routine. She could feel a blush creep up her face. You had looked at her so intensely, making sure to not even miss a single hand movement or foot placement. She could feel your eyes burn in the back of her head now and she wondered if she could continue doing the shows like she always did if it meant you looked at her in such a way.

"You didn't need to write all this you know?" "Why not? The way you move is so beautiful, I couldn't help myself. " The words flew out of your mouth so smoothly you didn't even realise how shy Nilou had gotten. Her face was entirely red at this point and she could feel her legs almost giving out. She huffed, placing the book to the side.

"Well you won't need that book when I am training you directly." She grasped your face, making you look at her directly in the eyes. " All you need to do is look at me." This time you could feel your face heat up.

---

The training took months. It became a daily occurrence of you sneaking out from the Akademiya to go to the Grand Baazar. Almost everyone knew your name and after Nilou was done with work you both would leave to go dance alongside both of your new secret dancing spot.

Nilou sat down on a rock, patiently waiting for you to began dancing. You were no longer the scholar covered in dirt and grime due to stumbling over your own feet nor did you look stiff when you tried to match the rhythm. You were confident and you wanted to show Nilou the progress that you both had achieved.

When you started to dance Nilou could feel her chest ache. You were so enchanting. She wondered if this was how you felt the first time you sneaked inside to watch her dance. She couldn't take her eyes away from you. 'Ah, an angel.' She thought as you smiled at her during your routine.

She didn't know how to express the emotions she felt inside her but she knew was she wanted to keep dancing with you in secret. Your dancing was for her and her viewing only.

[autisticlancemcclain]

prev chapter

———

It actually takes them a moment to find everyone, once they get to the library. Clearly, any lingering doubt from the team has evaporated, and they’re all here to give their all. They find Pidge up to her ears in laptops and tablets and wires, twelve screens blinking at her at once, code running across the screen so quickly it actually makes Keith a little dizzy. Shiro is sitting on a table with a book half his size propped open on his lap. Hunk is scanning through a truly ancient looking scroll.

The Alteans are nowhere to be found.

“Maybe they doubled back to the bridge?” Lance suggests. “Allura mentioned talking to a couple people in the Coalition to see if that lead anywhere.”

No sooner are the words out of his mouth is there a flash of light, a blue so bright it’s almost white, blinding the entire library for a moment.

“Or they’re doing Star Trek amounts of space magic fuckery,” Lance mutters, and takes off immediately in the direction of the light source, dragging Keith behind him. The rest of the team, intrigued by the flash, isn’t far behind them.

At the centre of the light flash are Allura and Coran, eyes glowing white, palms pressed to a crystal carving on the wall. A crack snakes out from where their palms are placed, circling up and around to form a giant rectangle, and then the wall crumbles away.

Keith gapes. “Space fuckery indeed.”

Without another word, the team follows the Alteans down the dimly lit hallway, through a series of twisting tunnels, walls lined with carvings and paintings. They walk in silence for at least fifteen minutes, eventually forming a single file line as the tunnels get narrower, until the path finally gives way to a giant, gaping cave-like room. The ceiling goes up so high that Keith can’t see it, he just knows that it goes up. The walls are lined with shelves and shelves off books, and several more shelves are floating around the massive room. The entire room glows a faint blue.

“Welcome to the very centre of the most ancient building of Altea,” Coran says. He hardly speaks above a whisper, but his voice seems to echo. “Most of the building — the castle — is familiar to you, having been renovated to added onto the structure more recently, but this room here is one and a half billion years old.” Coran speaks quietly, reverently, moreso in a voice one might use on holy ground rather than a museum. And it feels right, too — there’s something big and powerful and ancient and suffocating about this place, like the mere air in the room enters Keith’s lungs and dissolves into his spirit. He almost feels as if he should take off his shoes, speak only in a whisper. This place feels like the beginning of everything.

Coran turns to Keith. His normally jovial expression is solemn, eyes dim and solemn. “Your situation is faintly familiar to me, my dear,” he says softly. “‘An endless living torture.’” The way he says it is almost like an incantation, like a recitation of a spell. “When I was very small, eons ago, my village was hit with an epidemic. Unusual for any village in Altea, to become panicked and weakened by a disease they could not recognise and could not heal, and that lack of security made the panic worse. The children and the elderly were the most affected, although much of the infection seemed random. Most, if not all, of the infected met their end.”

There’s a long, thick moment of silence. Every single one of them is leaned closely to Coran, likely without realizing it, eyes wide and brows creased, hands tense at their sides. Even Allura drinks up every one of Coran’s words, story completely foreign to her.

“It took too long for the alchemists to finally discover a solution,” Coran continues. “At that point, so many had died that it had seemed almost pointless. Many more bonds were ruined, after unkindness brewed from the fear of the unknown. I remember my closest friend died before I could even see her, because my parents confined me to the house, terrified I’d catch the illness from her. No one felt safe, and so no one felt compassionate. Very few, rather. Some risked their lives to care.

“The alchemists’ elixir was as hard-won as it was miraculous. In the end the illness had been a parasite, mutated by a chance string of fate. Once the problem had been identified the solution was almost easy, and quickly the sick were healed and the healthy were immunized. Great precautions spread quickly to the rest of Altea, warning other villages and the kingdom, protecting all the other people. But the damage in my village was already done.”

“Is that what I have?” Keith asks, voice coming out hoarse. His heart pounds. “A parasite? Is the rest of the team at risk?”

Coran shakes his head, and if possible the dread in his expression grows heavier. “I wish you had the parasite. It would be less foreboding, less abstract. The parasite at least is a physical illness, and one for which our MedBay is equipped to treat, for which I am easily able to identify and treat.”

The advisor sags forward, as if the energy has suddenly been sapped from him, as if someone has cut the strings that kept him upright. When he speaks again is voice is quieter than a whisper, and Keith has to strain to hear it.

“After the outbreak…the leader of the village never forgave xemself. Xe felt fully and completely responsible for the outbreak, and the guilt of the aftermath — obvious in both the many funeral pyres xe had to help burn, and the scarring left behind in those who had been healed — haunted xem everywhere xe went. No one blamed xem, of course. In fact it was the bravery of the leader that led to the discovery of the cure in the first place, as xe was one of the few people who refused to bow to the fear of infection and cared for the sick, getting samples from them also. But still xe felt the burden of fault on xis shoulders, and it was to heavy for xem to bear.

“One day the leader broke down in the square; collapsed sobbing to the ground. Xe was completely inconsolable, even to xis wife. It took hours to calm xem enough to speak. We found out —” Coran pauses for a moment, choked, as if the words are hard to even form — “we found out that long past the day the alchemists came with their solution, long past the days the final funeral pyre had been burned, the leader had been reliving the death of xis people. Again and again, xe was reliving it; in different ways every time, but the same deaths. It had never ended for xem. The days had passed normally for us, but the leader’s agony and guilt about the tragedy had warped xis quintessence, trapping xem in a purgatory of xis own making.”

Keith makes a strangled noise. In a second there are hands on him, several, big and calloused, prosthetic, ring-clad. His team is an immediate vessel of support for him, holding him carefully, pillars at his back and his sides.

A purgatory of your own making. That sounds about right. That sounds like the hell Keith is living in, day after day, and of course he’s the own root of his problems, of course he has made things more complicated for himself again.

“How do we fix it?” Pidge asks, and her voice isn’t small or scared. She sounds determined. It’s an instant calm to his heart, a balm to his fear. A quick look around to his team shows identical expressions.

Whether or not he has made this problem for himself, whether or not it’s his own guilt that is so suffocating that it’s killing him, torturing him, his team is going to help him fix it.

Lance catches his gaze and smiles, brown eyes warm and constant, familiar, and knocks their heads together gently. “We got this, Samurai.”

Lance is going to help him fix it.

“That’s why I have brought you here,” Coran answers. “I was young when this happened. I don’t remember all of it. But I remember the solution was ancient, because this curse is ancient. We had to consult the knowledge of the farthest of our Altean ancestors, when magic was at its most concentrated.” He spreads his arms wide, and the low hum of quintessence thrumming through the room pulses at his signal. He smiles slightly, a mix of wry and proud and encouraging.

“We’re going to have to search.”

———

next chapter

[fruitcoops]

Night Changes

This isn't based on an ask, but I've had some early-Cap ideas brewing and think about the first time the team heard him laugh a lot. His and James' friendship is so sweet in SW--the beginning of it must have been such a shock to them both. SW credit goes to @lumosinlove!

So maybe James had bitten off more than he could chew. It wasn’t the first time, to be sure, but coaxing (read: drag kicking and screaming) his new teammate out of the carefully-constructed mosaic of scowls that made up his entire personality was proving to be a little more challenging than he previously expected. With most rookies, all it took was some elbow grease and overenthusiastic inclusion in group events to get them to open up—with his brand-new soon-to-be best friend, he had to handle things a little more delicately.

Sirius Black was a puzzle wrapped up in one of those freaky code-breaking machines from World War Two Lily liked to talk about. He was one of the best hockey players James had ever seen, but off the ice he seemed to shut down. The intense focus on his face smoothed out into almost perfect neutrality, and in the four months since he joined the Lions, he had never once smiled for real in front of the team. He sat in his stall and padded up in silence, then went out and kicked ass before following Pascal home like a living shadow.

Naturally, James took it as a personal mission to pry Sirius Black’s closed-off persona open like a stubborn oyster. He tried including Sirius in group events—the rookie went along with a quiet “yeah, sure”, but sat at the table and nursed a single drink for the entire night. He tried getting into friendly banter with him on the ice, but it was like Sirius had never joked with anyone in his life. Hell, he even tried finding him a girlfriend, which tanked harder than the goddamn Titanic.

“Rookie!” James shouted down the hallway.

Sirius jumped and turned around, obviously confused. “Me?”

“Yes, you,” James laughed, jogging over to toss an arm over his shoulders. “What’s up?”

“Not much.”

He waited for Sirius to continue, then rolled his eyes and gave him a friendly shake. “C’mon, man, how was your weekend? Has Dumo coerced you into being a stay-at-home babysitter yet?”

Sirius’ frown deepened. “What? I come with him to practice every day.”

Change tactics, change tactics— “Got any plans for Friday?”

James knew the answer, of course; it was always no or not yet or a simple shake of the head. If he was a less observant man, he would have assumed Sirius didn’t actually want to hang out with the team. But the longing looks toward their easy rhythm and the way he always tilted himself toward locker room conversations told a different story. “None yet,” Sirius said with a shrug.

James gave him a friendly slap on the back. “Good, ‘cause I’m having a party at my place and you’re not allowed to miss it.”

“Why not?”

“Because I want you to be there, duh.” The bewilderment didn’t fade from Sirius’ face, but beneath it—well, maybe James was just seeing things, but he looked almost hopeful. He ruffled Sirius’ hair and headed for the locker room. “Friday at five, rookie! I’ll be waiting!”

--

The week passed in a slog of practices and cold weather. Sirius clammed up more and more as the party drew closer, but James didn’t miss the way his eyes flickered between the rest of them like he was analyzing a play. He would make one hell of a captain someday, if he could just relax a little.

“Hey, rookie, want a ride?” he asked when the big day finally arrived.

“Don’t you want to go home and set up first?” Sirius’ brow furrowed. For an eighteen-year-old kid, he was awfully thoughtful. James couldn’t wait to see him let loose a little. “I wouldn’t want to get in your way.”

“It’s a yes or no question,” he teased, poking the bit of exposed shoulder through the widening hole in Sirius’ under armor.

“I…” He faltered, then the corner of his mouth twitched up. It was the closest thing James had seen to a smile from him yet. One point for Potter. “Sure, Pots. Thanks.”

“No problem. Meet me at my car in five or so, yeah?”

“D’accord.”

“Oho, fancy French,” James laughed, turning back to unlace his skates.

It wasn’t until thirty seconds after Sirius left the room that he remembered he never told the rookie what his car looked like. Horrible, terrible visions of the poor guy wandering around the parking lot—or, god forbid, thinking James had left without him—flashed through his mind. It would undo everything he had been working so hard to build.

“Shit,” he hissed under his breath as he shoved his gear into his duffel with reckless abandon and hurried out of the locker room. His legs would be stiff from trying to run so soon after a grueling drill practice, but it was worth it to save his friend. “Rookie? Hey, Sirius, you still here?”

There was no response. James cursed again and made a beeline for the door to the parking lot. Please, God, don’t let him get lost. I need him to trust me.

“Oh, thank fuck,” he panted as he burst out onto the half-frozen concrete.

Sirius looked up from his phone with a strange expression. “Are you okay?”

“Thought I lost you for a sec.”

“You said to meet at your car, yes?” He glanced between James and the car in sudden worry.

“Yeah, yes, absolutely, I just—” He made an aborted gesture and dug his keys out of his pocket. “I realized I forgot to tell you which one is mine.”

Sirius blinked at him. “I know what your car looks like.”

“How?”

“Because you drive it here every single day and you gave me a ride three weeks ago.”

‘Dumbass’ went unsaid, but James could feel it hanging in the air. He coughed lightly. “Right. Anyway, you can toss your bag wherever and hop in the passenger seat. My place isn’t far from here.”

Sirius took his duffel as he unlocked the car and settled both in the trunk with more care than James’ poor, battered bag had ever seen in its life. That was another thing that confused him about Sirius Black—he was so careful. He walked quietly for someone so tall, and each movement seemed pre-planned.

Each movement, that is, until he tried to get in the car. “Uh, Pots?”

“That’s m—oh.” James covered his mouth to stifle his laughter as Sirius tried to fold himself into the passenger seat and failed miserably. “I’m sorry, my girlfriend was sitting there last. Uh, there’s a lever on your right—yeah, there, just give it a pull and—”

With a harsh ka-chunk, the seat slid all the way back. Both men froze. It took everything in James’ power not to burst out laughing at the deer-in-headlights shock on Sirius’ face.

“Yep, that one,” he managed. “Nice job.”

They drove in relative quiet—James chattered on about weekend plans and hummed to the radio while Sirius watched out the window with the occasional monosyllable response. It took James a bit by surprise how comfortable he was, even without a steady stream of banter. Sirius might have been stubborn and silent and determined to foil all James’ plans at getting him to socialize, but he was calming to be near, like an anchor on unsteady water. Despite his overall quiet air, he was obviously paying attention to every word that left James’ mouth.

“You’re a good guy, y’know that?” he said as they turned onto his street. Sirius glanced over in surprise. “Most people tune me out within, like, five minutes.”

“I’m a good listener.”

James opened his mouth to respond, then paused. “Was that—Sirius Black, was that a joke?”

Something akin to mischief—mischief!—crossed his face. “Maybe.”

“Were you roasting me?” James gaped at him. “Oh my god. The guys are never gonna believe this.”

“Probably not.”

“You sick bastard. They won’t believe me.”

“You can give it a shot,” Sirius said with a shrug as the engine turned off. Pieces began to connect in James’ head as he stared, incredulous, at the rookie he thought would never even crack a smile. Four months of work had not been wasted, as he had feared; every joke, every one-sided conversation, and every attempt to get Sirius involved had been seen and heard and taken to heart. When he thought about it, he wasn’t sure he had ever seen Sirius actively agree to something unless James asked personally.

“We’re friends,” he said aloud, too surprised and too happy to hold it in. Not friends in the way James was with the rest of their loud, over-the-top teammates, but friends all the same.

“Well, yeah,” Sirius said as if it was obvious.

James unbuckled his seatbelt and socked him lightly on the shoulder, barely suppressing a shriek of excitement. “Love you, man. Grab your shit, we’ve got a party to set up.”

----------------

As much as it pained James to say it, having someone around who was six-foot-three was a huge help. There was no blow to his pride as he dragged Lily’s stepstool out; no grudging acceptance that he simply couldn’t reach those last two inches on the wall. Instead, he could foist any and all responsibility on his brand-new best friend in the whole wide world and focus on the things that mattered, like putting anything breakable or important far away from the grubby hands of his inebriated teammates.

His success was still ringing in his ears when the guests finally arrived—throughout the evening, James rode the high of accomplishing his mission to pull Sirius Black into his tight-knit circle. Every minute of those four months was worth it.

Midnight came and went, and by one-thirty in the morning James’ cramped living room was packed with tipsy hockey players in a vague imitation of a circle. “Non, non, I’ve gotta good one,” Dumo said, hiccupping. The room fell quiet as he leaned forward. “What do you call a body of water with a chicken in it?”

“What?” Kasey whispered, starry-eyed like a kid at Christmas.

“A swimming pool.”

The room stayed quiet, and then someone started to laugh. Slowly, they all turned to the source of the noise, and James felt a ripple of shock roll through the team as Sirius snorted. “It’s a swimming pool,” he said around a smile, his accent thick from three drinks. He had a nice laugh; James could get used to hearing it. “Like—poule, like chicken?”

His whole face was alight with happiness. James wasn’t sure whether to cry or cheer. That’s what I’ve been waiting for, he thought. That look, right there. Sirius fit in among the group like a missing piece of their puzzle, snickering away as if he hadn’t been stoically silent a day in his life. His laugh was downright bubbly.

“I don’t think they get it,” Dumo said into the rim of his cup.

Sirius shook his head, trying to catch his breath. “D’accord, so—so ‘chicken’ in French is poule, yeah? So a chicken in a body of water is a swimming poule. Do you get it now?”

A few oh’s of understanding washed over them, but several people continued to stare. “Too drink for this,” Sergei grumbled, though James could see the smile pulling at his mouth as Sirius turned to him with bright eyes.

“But it’s funny!” Sirius protested, so earnest it made James’ heart hurt.

“I think it’s funny, rookie,” he assured him with a clumsy pat on the arm. “And it’s my house, so I say Dumo gets a point this round.”

Kasey hiccupped. “Hey, anyone who makes the rookie laugh gets points in my book. No offense, dude.”

“None taken,” Sirius said, though his cheeks were pink.

James nudged him with his shoulder as Talker started a knock-knock joke. “It’s okay,” he said under his breath.

Sirius picked at the label on his cup. “I know I haven’t been very social,” he muttered.

“It’s okay,” James insisted. “It always takes rookies a while to warm up, so we’re just glad you’re happy. I’m glad my best friend is having a good time at my party.”

A heavy silence fell between them as Sirius looked over, eyebrows raised. “Best friend?”

“What, like you didn’t see this coming?” James slung an arm over his shoulder. “Yes, you French-Canadian nerd, you’re my best friend. And that means I’m your best friend, and there’s no take-backsies.”

“What the hell is a take-backsie?” Sirius laughed. “Did you make that up?”

James grinned. He had the feeling this was the beginning of an excellent friendship.

[warriorsfireandwater]

Warriors Analysis 2: A Breakdown of the Crow/Night/Breeze Family Dynamic

I said I would do it, so here we are. The big doozy. For this one, I’m going to putting all of the sourced scenes in a linked google doc, because I just don’t want to make this post a million miles long. Instead, for this post, I will sum up all of the conclusions made after reviewing every scene involving the family from Po3 through OotS, with other relevant information from other books included.

Context of this one: I’ve watched (and participated in) a lot of debate over this family. Just about every single argument I’ve seen tends to:

1) rely on a person’s opinion of a character overall to how they feel about the family (”I found Nightcloud annoying” often goes along with “Nightcloud is equally bad of a parent” or “Breezepelt was a bad person so I don’t sympathize with him in the family situation”)

2) misremember canon

3) rely on a person’s headcanons of what actually happened to shape their judgement of the family (”Nightcloud spoiled Breezepelt and told him Crowfeather is bad” when there are zero canon scenes of this happening)

Some ground rules: I’m relying on breaking down the canon scenes in the books. I am NOT inserting my own thoughts or beliefs as to what happened behind the scenes. If there’s anything bordering on that (”this behavior implies X”), it’ll be clearly stated that it’s an interpretation. I ask that if you want to comment or debate this analysis that you do the same. People’s headcanons shaping how they remember the family is the thing that frustrated me enough to spend hours digging this up. As a personal request, please don’t use this post to say “Nightcloud still sucks and I hate her”/”Breezepelt still sucks and I hate him”/”neglect isn’t abuse” - the latter is definitively incorrect and is upsetting to hear as a survivor of abuse. “X character still is bad” just takes away from the point of this - which is not to say “Breezepelt is a good person”, but PURELY to breakdown the family dynamic. With that out of the way, let’s GO:

After looking at literally every scene involving Breezepelt, Crowfeather, and Nightcloud and analyzing the ones that involve or mention them as a family, here’s some key points. The scenes that back these points up are included and detailed in this doc.

Breezepaw is introduced to us as a bit aggressive and rude, and his mentor, Whitetail, wishes to Crowfeather that she would teach him manners (earning her no response from him)

We first properly see Nightcloud during the dog attack in The Sight, when Breezepaw returns from checking the barrier. Breezepaw reports that there is no damage, and Crowfeather immediately questions if he actually checked all the way around. Breezepaw tells him “Of course!”, and Nightcloud says that Crowfeather should trust his son more.

This suggests Nightcloud is ready to defend Breezepaw whenever. However, as ThunderClan is leaving, Breezepaw mutters that WindClan can manage on their own. Nightcloud immediately scolds him and compliments Lionpaw for saving Heatherpaw during the battle.

Later, at the daylight Gathering, Lionpaw and Breezepaw are buried underground. Crowfeather and Nightcloud help dig them out, and Breezepaw is not breathing when he comes out. Jaypaw has to pull dirt out of his throat to save his life.

Leafpool says to Crowfeather that she would “give [her] last drop of blood to save [his kit]”. Nightcloud sharply retorts that “our kit was lucky that Jaypaw was here”.

Nightcloud carries Breezepaw away from the scene “like a kit”. Crowfeather offers to help, but she carries him on her own. She does not push him away/force him away/shout at him, she literally just chooses to carry him. Nightcloud spends the rest of the daylight Gathering curled around Lionpaw and Breezepaw and keeping them resting.

We learn these things from the Sight: Breezepaw and Crowfeather seem to have a tense relationship, but that isn’t fully developed. Nightcloud is willing to defend him from Crowfeather’s doubts, but notably does not defend him when he acts like a punk in front of her. She is bothered by Leafpool’s comment about giving her life for Breezepaw (which I personally find pretty reasonable to be bothered by), but counters by giving her gratitude to Jaypaw. She wants to carry Breezepaw after he nearly dies, but isn’t pushing Crowfeather away or denying him anything like many people claim.

In Dark River, Crowfeather encourages Breezepaw’s bias against ThunderClan, telling him that they “celebrate mixed blood” in a tone that implies it as a negative thing. (It seems implied he does this to get to Leafpool, who is upset by his comment.)

Jaypaw is able to feel Nightcloud’s jealous emotions on a few occasions, but she actually never says anything to Leafpool or Crowfeather about it.

In Outcast, Crowfeather is called to go on the journey to the Tribe. Onestar tells him to take Breezepaw, who has gotten in trouble a few times. Breezepaw makes it very plain he doesn’t want to go and worries that his Clanmates are just trying to get rid of him. Crowfeather wants to go, but “sighs” over the idea of taking Breezepaw. To me, he comes off as disinterested and possibly disappointed that he has to bring him. Crowfeather snaps at Breezepaw for asking to say goodbye to his friends, saying “There isn’t time!” even though literally no one is rushing them to leave. Nightcloud comes to say goodbye, but Crowfeather is distant and doesn’t respond to her.

Throughout Outcast, each POV character has at least one (if not many) moments where they think about Crowfeather/Breezepaw and feel pity for Breezepaw, despite really hating him. Hollypaw especially thinks often about how she appreciates Brambleclaw for encouraging and supporting her, and the apprentices all seem to realize that Breezepaw is angry because his father “doesnt seem to like him”. 

When questioning why they have to help the tribe, Crowfeather just tells Breezepaw “You’ll never understand loyalty.”

When they run into Purdy, Breezepaw is pretty rude to him. Crowfeather doesn’t interrupt a single time throughout multiple insults, then reacts by hitting him across the ear without saying anything, which is noted as “a hard blow”.

Breezepaw nearly dies falling off into a ravine after thinking he’s discovered a faster way. Crowfeather pulls him back and snaps at him, expressing no concern for his life. In Eclipse, Crowfeather pointedly does not compliment Breezepaw’s catch of the rabbit, which angers Breezepaw.

During the reveal of Leaf/Crow in the last book, Breezepelt and Nightcloud stand by Crow’s side and don’t publicly turn on him or say anything against him.

This journey gives us a lot of insight into Crow and Breeze’s dynamic. Breezepaw is pretty obviously a little punk throughout this book, but Crowfeather has no healthy way of communicating with him or discipling him. Instead, he snaps at him, hits him, or ignores him, all of which just feeds into Breezepaw’s anger. Nightcloud is not present for any of this and has no way of controlling their interactions here, which could have been a perfect opportunity for Crowfeather to build a relationship with his son if it were true that Night had prevented this.

Breezepelt shows up in Fading Echoes, training in the Dark forest. A few things are made explicit: he is being manipulated by the Dark Forest and Tigerstar’s words have an almost hypnotic effect on him. The cats present egg him on against Crowfeather, feeding into his belief that Crow does not value him. (Side note, I find it really interesting that in this book, Breezepelt has notable value in the warrior code [which encourages his hate towards Crow] and the DF cats encourage this, saying it is “strong” in his blood. Next time we see him, though, he wants to destroy it.)

Flametail randomly thinks about Breezepelt’s family while spending time with Tawnypelt, feeling glad he has nicer kin.

We get the infamous scene where Lion and Breeze fight. Breeze and Crow were both trespassing on ThunderClan territory and Lion caught the prey Breezepelt was about to catch. He intentionally eggs Breezepelt into a fight (rather than just attacking him himself). Leafpool interrupts, asking how Crow can watch this. Nightcloud then shows up and insists Crowfeather has only one son. Leafpool jumps in between them as Breezepelt is leaping for Lionblaze, and she gets clawed. Crowfeather hauls him off and throws him aside, then keeps talking to Leafpool, who tells him she loved him.

Nightcloud then comes over and pulls Crowfeather away from Leafpool. She sinks her claws into his pelt to do this. However, it’s worth noting that this scene contains MANY references to blood every time claws come out - she does not draw blood and he does not express any signal of pain. It’s likely she used her claws only as a means of holding onto him, not to cause him harm. Crowfeather turns on him, and Breezepelt wails before getting between them, telling Crowfeather to leave his mother alone.

Nightcloud doesn’t react rationally in this scene - but neither does any character. Lionblaze is an ass, Breezepelt is an ass, Crowfeather is an ass, and Leafpool is still walking around making declarations of her former love in front of Crowfeather’s wife.

Nightcloud is one of the cats to react rudely to Hollyleaf’s return, but she doesn’t directly attack/challenge her. (This is actually the last time we see Nightcloud.)

The final meaningful scene is in The Last Hope, when Breezepelt fights Lionblaze. Crowfeather intervenes and says he will not allow Breezepelt to hurt him. Breezepelt retorts he always knew Crowfeather hated him, which Crow denies.

“I never hated you!” Crowfeather growled. “That’s just what you were determined to believe. And Nightcloud encouraged you.”

“It’s not her fault!” Breezepelt spat.

“No,” Crowfeather hissed. “I should have done something much earlier...”

This is the first and only time this is blamed on Nightcloud. This is the only indication we have that this could be true.

Some other notable things:

Crowfeather took Nightcloud as a mate to prove his loyalty, not out of love. (This is said in After Sunset: We need to talk)

The Ultimate Guide also confirms the above, but is a questionable source given the many errors included in it. It states that Crowfeather resents Nightcloud (for not being Leafpool), and that Nightcloud coddled Breezepelt. However, the latter is never shown in the story (and the opposite is actually shown when she scolds him).

In Crowfeather’s Trial, Crowfeather is pushed to recognize his anger towards his son and apologize for his behavior towards him and Nightcloud. Even in an entire book from Crow’s perspective (which provides opportunity for memories, flashbacks, etc), there is no indication that Nightcloud actually pushed Breezepelt to hate Crowfeather. There’s a throwaway mention that Crowfeather was too strict or too rough with Breezepelt as a kit, but it’s never actually said that Nightcloud told him this/kept him away/etc. (IE: it’s impossible to say if Nightcloud screamed this at him or asked him once to be gentle. We just don’t know!)

With all this said, here’s my take on the dynamic:

Crowfeather was a neglectful father and an inconsiderate mate. The only scene we get where he seems to actually get along with Breezepaw is when he is encouraging him to dislike ThunderClan by feeding into hatred for “mixed blood” cats. In all other scenes, he: 1) ignores his bad behavior, 2) is unnecessarily harsh to him or dismissive of him, 3) questions and undermines him, 4) does not have healthy ways of addressing his poor behavior (IE, he ignores and turns away from him rather than discussing it when all the apprentices are in trouble and the other warriors are scolding them, he flat-out hits Breezepaw at one point after saying nothing to intervene in his rudeness), and 5) blames Nightcloud for their bad relationship. Crowfeather is provided plenty of opportunities to interact with Breezepaw while Nightcloud isn’t present (in fact, Nightcloud shows up very little - most scenes of the family have just Breeze and Crow, there are many books where Nightcloud isn’t even mentioned).

Nightcloud was literally just being a normal mom and was often pushed to feeling jealous around Leafpool, often because Leafpool doesn’t have any boundaries around hinting about loving Crowfeather for some reason. I was actually really shocked by how... absolutely fuckin brazen Leafpool is 24/7 about waltzing up to Crowfeather while his wife is standing right there and going “just so you know......... i miss you........... i’d give my life for you......” It’s just WEIRD. IMO, it’s pretty damn reasonable for that to make Nightcloud irritated! Most of the time, she never actually voices her jealousy, we just know about it because of Jaypaw’s ability. When she does, it’s sometimes done by complimenting someone else or giving credit to another cat, like when Jaypaw saves Breezepaw. There is zero text in the story supporting the idea that Nightcloud was overbearing or that she spoiled him: we have TWO SCENES where she has character moments around this. In the first, she is defending him from Crowfeather’s doubt, and in the second, she is scolding him for being ungrateful to ThunderClan for their help.

Breezepelt was a kid that grew up feeling unloved, unappreciated, and angry and resentful as a result. The Dark Forest, not Nightcloud, fed into this belief, but we also have a whole lot of scenes that show why that feeling of resentment towards Crowfeather is there to begin with.

The final hot take: If you believe Nightcloud ‘spoiled’ Breezepelt or that she was ‘overbearing and possessive’, you need to reread Po3 and OotS. It’s just not there.

(Bonus: I love Leafpool but god, girl, you need to read a room.)