#me since the second minute: 🤡🤡🤡

[fiddleabout]

mufc wyd bb 😬😬😬

[vanteguccir]

── ୨୧ !　𝗦𝗢𝗙𝗧 𝗟𝗔𝗨𝗡𝗖𝗛 | 𝗜𝗡𝗦𝗧𝗔𝗚𝗥𝗔𝗠

　　　　　　𝒎𝒂𝒕𝒕 𝒔𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒐𝒍𝒐 x singer!reader

SUMMARY: Where Y/N and Matt have been in a stable relationship hidden from the media for months, until they were forced by it to do a soft launch.

WARNING: None.

REQUESTED?: Yes, from anon.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: That is my work, I DON'T authorize any plagiarism, copy, or "inspiration"! | English isn't my first language, so I'm sorry if there's any grammar error.

Y/N²: I hope yall like it! it was my first time doing something like that, and I actually loved it!! I was dying to do some famous!reader, so I took the liberty to do it with this one, I hope it's okay.

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liked by arianagrande, taylorswift and 3,028,299 others

ynsinstagram THE SECRET OF US TOUR STARTS IN 15 DAYS 😭😩 who's excited?

view all 67,044 comments

ynfan1 ME?????? DUH

ynfan2 THIS IS GOING TO BE HISTORICAL, WRITE MY WORDS ‼️

ynfan3 well, considering the pre sale broke her website, all stadium dates sold out in seconds, all social media talking about it...

conangrey I'M SO EXCITED TO SEE YOU AGAIN 🙌🏻

ynfan4 I'M GOING INSANE, IDK WHAT TO WEAR 😭

sabrinacarpenter YES YES YES 🔥

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liked by sturniolofan1, sturniolofan2 and 5,028 others

sturnioloteam Matt spotted out and alone in London today!

view all 3,065 comments

sturniolofan1 wtf is he doing in London?

sturniolofan2 didn't Chris just post a picture in LA? 😭

sturnioloandynfan1 wait, isn't today the London concert of Y/N’s tour??? 🤡

sturniolofan3 wtf does this have to do with Matt?

sturniolofan4 since when Matt goes to other country ALONE????

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liked by oliviarodrigo, harrystyles and 4,268,459 others

ynsinstagram HIIIII LONDON 🎀🇬🇧

view all 478,384 comments

ynfan1 SHE'S SUCH AN ANGEL 🥺

ynfan2 wait, why does she have 2 coffees?

ynfan3 maybe she's with someone from her band?

sturnioloandynfan2 WAIT A MINUTE ‼️ what's Matt's car key doing on her purse????????

ynfan4 what do you mean?

sturnioloandynfan3 OMG TRUE! that's his keychain 🫠

sturniolofan5 DID I HEARD MATT????

oliviarodrigo LONDON GIRL RIGHT THERE BABY ‼️🇬🇧

ynfan5 I LOVE YOUR FRIENDSHIP 😭

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liked by christophersturniolo, nathandoe8 and 1,029,268 others

matthew.sturniolo I'm everywhere but currently in london 🇬🇧

view all 158,472 comments

sturniolofan8 so we're just gonna ignore the elephant in the room or what?

sturnioloandynfan4 I've never thought about this possibility but...

ynfan9 I'm so sure they're the cutest together 🥺

sturniolofan6 yall are so damn dramatic, no one confirmed anything, stop being so delusional

sturniolofan3 stop being so unhappy dude, ew

christophersturniolo bring me some fish and chips when you get back

ynfan4 IS THAT Y/N'S NECKLACE?????

nicolassturniolo london boy

ynandsturniolofan2 is that supposed to be an analogy to taylor's song? 😭

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liked by ynfan2, sturniolofan6 and 268,459 others

people Singer Y/N Y/L/N and youtuber Matthew Sturniolo were spotted together today in London.

view all 85,730 comments

ynfan8 wtf is wrong with yall?? leave Y/N alone, she deserves privacy!

ynfan5 omg it HAD to be people

sturniolofan7 omg no way matt is on people 😭

nicolassturniolo this is honestly so messed up and such a huge invasion of privacy. please, delete this!

sabrinacarpenter I hate you guys. this is so mean. delete it right now!

ynfan9 how the fuck yall always find a way to disturb Y/N's peace?

sturniolofan3 OMG OMG OMG OMG

ynfan6 everything makes sense now

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liked by ynfan2, sturniolofan3 and 1,938 others

ynandsturniolofan6 OMG??? NO WAY I JUST FIND MATT IN Y/N'S CONCERT 😭😭 that's my favorite day ever ✋🏻

view all 827 comments

sturniolofan1 wait, what??? he was at the line to enter the stadium?

ynandsturniolofan6 no! he was about to enter Y/N's backstage area

sturniolofan7 omg he's looking so fucking good 😩

ynfan8 yeah Y/N, I get it now

sturnioloandynfan5 it's SO CUTE the fact he came from LA to see her in London 😭

sturniolofan4 but why London, thought? doesn't she have three concerts in LA next month?

ynfan5 IS THAT Y/N'S NECKLACE AGAIN???? I'M GOING CRAZY

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liked by sturniolotriplets, madisonbeer and 2,628,038 others

matthew.sturniolo we met here, on a random avenue in London, on the first day of your vacation and the second of mine, and neither of us knew where to go, and we ended up visiting tourist spots together. now we´re here for your sold-out show, something you used to dream about just some months ago, and i’m so grateful to be part of this. I love you, petal. you deserve this more than anyone else.

view all 1,728,426 comments

nicolassturniolo PARENTS!!!

christopher.sturniolo that's beautiful man

ynfan5 stop this is so cute 😭

sturniolofan1 "petal" LSKSISMAKAMDO 😭😭😭😭

sturniolofan2 I've never thought I would see Matt posting smt with so many words

ynandsturniolofan3 I'M CRYING WHAT

ynfan7 so... it's been happening for MONTHS???

madisonbeer you'll make me cry, I love you two so much 🥺

nathandoe8 Matt is such a soft for Y/N

yourinstagram are you jealous? chris is right there 😌

christopher.sturniolo what's that supposed to mean?

ynsinstagram I owe all of this to you. if it wasn't for all your incentives and belief in me, I wouldn't be here today. I love you so fucking much 🥹🩷

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tag: matthew.sturniolo

liked by billieeilish, matthew.sturniolo and 5,268,459 others

ynsinstagram The Secret Of Us Tour. London I. June 2024.

view all 872,372 comments

sturniolofan6 was it Matt who took the pic? 🥺

ynsinstagram yes!! 😁

ynfan5 I'm no longer alive, this concert was AMAZING

sturnioloandynfan3 the way Y/N was looking at the back of the stadium ALL THE TIME, smiling like crazy, was the cutest thing ever

ynfan9 the way she look at him??? Matt you're a lucky man

matthew.sturniolo loved every bit of it! ❤️

ynsinstagram love you 🥺🩷

ynfan4 Y/N is the prettiest girl in the world!

matthew.sturniolo agreed

ynandsturniolofan2 they're THE MOMENT!!!

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taglist:

@lustfulslxt @ladybunny44 @earth2starkey @freshloveforthefit @sturniolowhore @luvr4miya @alorsxsturn @urfavgirllyyyyy @hearts4chriss @cupidzsq @junnniiieee07 @lightsgore @gidgett11037 @soimightlikeoldmen69 @ldr-sl0t @its-jennarose @sainzzsturns @ecliphttlunar @soso-scarlettolivia @bitchydragonparadise @freshsturns @h3arts4harry @patscorner @strnilolo @bernardsbendystraws @poetatorturadaa @meg-sturniolo @orangeypepsi @jnkvivi @chrisactualwife @fratbrochrisgf @elordilover @somegirlfromasgard @hpyjw @colorthecosmos444 @thewhispersofthewaves @mattslolita @imwetforyourmom @mrl217 @delilahsversion @sturnsmia @mattsfavbitchhh @sturnioloshacker @soursturniolo @blahbel668 @sarosfilms @moncherriis @tobesolonelyjess @zayyluvz

(If you want to be added to the taglist, go to this post)

[persphonesorchid]

Tasting Jealousy - KSJ

Summary: Seokjin is more than happy to accompany you to your company's New Year's Eve party, he's not happy however, that your co-worker is trying to flirt with you. The presence of this man brings up feelings Seokjin thought he left behind him.

Word Count: 3.2k

Genre: COH!au, Cupid!Seokjin x F!Reader, fluff, smut...angst 😀

Warnings: Jealous jinnie, smut (Protected sex bcus Seokjin ain't looking to be a daddy for the new year. Soft Dom jinnie, fingering, kitty spanking - you'll see what I mean lmao.) Jin gets very sad at one point and it gave me flashbacks of a universe in which he left 🤡

Masterlist - HERE

Notes: Happy New year my darlings!! I hope this year brings you lots of joy, love and peace!! Be good to yourselves!!

Now, I love this couple so much and I just can't get away from them ajsjhsha so here you go, my last fic for the year! And guess what? You guys will finally get to know who sent MC the flower arrangements. I know a lot of you were wondering lmao. I hope to write more drabbles for these two...even though is can't be considered a drabble because it got way out of hand 😭 but! I'm not complaining! I hope you guys enjoy!!

this follows Cupid's on Holiday's What If drabble Picking Peonies

“Ranunculus.” The word is a hissed breath between Seokjin’s teeth, eyes narrowing into slits. There’s a muscle twitching just under his eye, and he should be careful. If he grips the champagne flute any tighter the fine glass will shatter.

You pause in the middle of your sentence, fingers brushing his as you take the glass he offers, head turning and tilting back a little to look up at him.

The chatter of the party populous and the soft crackle of Christmas jingles fades into background noise against the rising ring in his ears.

The man who stands across from you both must’ve been raised without manners, that or at least a little common sense. He stands tall, a inch or so shorter than Seokjin if he were to guess. They’re unintentionally matching, both wearing black turtleneck sweaters. Though, Seokjin’s coat is tweed and brushes his knees, the man’s is dark grey and stops where his hands are tucked into the pockets of his black slacks.

Its been about a minute since Seokjin went off to get you both something to drink. A minute since he spotted this man through the crowd and just knew.

It’s been about a minute since he’s walked over here, weaved his way through the crowd with a wide boxy smile and a wave in your direction. A minute of his eyes trailing over your form, lingering over the way the peach fabric accentuates your waist and flutters at your feet in soft waves. A minute since he’d leaned in with a smile and kissed both your cheeks.

A minute of him pretending Seokjin isn’t standing right here, like your arm isn’t linked with his.

Six minutes. Not like Seokjin is counting or anything.

Something burns hot in the back of Seokjin’s mind when you giggle around the syllables that make up this man’s name. You’re smiling at something he said a second ago, but Seokjin is so far in his head he didn’t hear. It’s the kind of smile you give him when he brings you your favourite treat; your cheeks puffing up and squishing your eyes. He doesn’t know if the guy’s actually funny or if you’re only smiling at him to not seem rude.

“This is Seokjin.” You say, and briefly, you look up at him, smile unmoving. There’s a pinch to your brow, probably still wondering what the meaning behind his word earlier was. A bit of pride blooms in his chest with the way you wonder; you’ve long forgotten where his distaste stems.

Seokjin dips his head in greeting when, the man – Taehyung – finally looks over at him. He extends a hand, overhead lights of the venue catching on the face of his watch that Seokjin knows is expensive. He knows because it matches his.

Seokjin shakes his hand firmly, even as Taehyung’s eyes meet yours again with a smile that seems a little more strained and a lot less boxy.

“Strong grip you’ve got there.” Taehyung's chuckle is deep as his hand falls back to his side and Seokjin only hums. “Friend of yours?”

There’s nothing in his tone that gives reason for the feeling that floods Seokjin’s chest. It rises quickly from his feet and burns the back of his neck and ears and he bristles.

“Partner, actually.” There’s an edge to his voice that he knows you’ve caught; you squeeze his arm a little.

“Ah, partner... That’s nice, I didn’t know you were seeing anyone.”

There’s no way he couldn’t have known.

He’s not in your department, Seokjin knows. This encounter would’ve happened a whole lot sooner had he been. Seokjin had been about your work place many times over this year alone, sometimes for no particular reason. Everyone in your department knows him by now.

Office gossip spreads like a flame in a dry grass field, so it isn’t that he hadn’t known, the man just chose to blatantly ignore it.

Something about that sets Seokjin’s teeth on edge.

“Ah, well, I’m pretty private so that’s fine.” You wave your other hand, the motion careful as not to spill the champagne that sits in it.

You and Taehyung make small talk, and Seokjin drowns in the feeling that’s swimming around his head. You ask him about how his birthday went and Taehyung says it could’ve been better. And there’s a twinkle in his eyes that Seokjin doesn’t like when he says it.

Taehyung smiles, after a while of Seokjin just staring him down. “Well...all my best for the new year.” He says, the curls of his dark hair sways on his forehead when he looks to Seokjin again. “Nice meeting you.”

And like that, he was gone, back through the crowd to linger when he’d came from.

Seokjin feels you shift, and when he looks at you, you’re already watching him.

“What was that about?” you ask, a brow raised.

“What?” Seokjin raises a brow back and you sigh, tapping at his arm with hand that was looped around it.

“Jin...” You say nothing more and Seokjin busies himself with draining the rest of the champagne in his glass. He sets it down on a nearby table and you do the same, unlinking your arm from his to stand in front of him.

“Do you want to leave?” you ask softly.

“We’ve only been here two hours.” Seokjin replies, shaking his head.

“You didn’t answer my question. And besides it wouldn’t be any fun if you’re gonna be like...that for the rest of the night.”

“I’m not being like anything.” His voice is a little harsh, and Seokjin isn’t sure if it’s because he’s being called out. He sighs, brows pinching. “It’s fine. It wouldn’t be fair to you if we leave now.”

“I don’t mind, that’s why I asked. If you don’t want to stay that’s okay.”

“Why’re you so stubborn? Stop pushing it.”

You step away from him, eyes rolling as you step past.

“Where are you going?” Seokjin calls, turning as you walk, following the motion of your body with his.

“The bathroom.” You snap and Seokjin stares until you disappear into the throng of people.

There’s a low whistle behind him and Seokjin slowly turns, hackles raised again.

Taehyung is back. Barely seems to be paying him mind as he fills a plate with finger food and snacks. The long rectangular table is tucked into a corner, laden with different types of foods. He’s a bit away, but Seokjin’s certain he heard the exchange if the little smile he donned was anything to go by.

“Trouble in paradise?” He nods with his chin in the direction you stomped off to, picking a mini sandwich off his plate.

“Just a small fire. Containable. Although, I don’t see how that’s any business of yours.” If Seokjin’s eyes could narrow any further, he’d close them.

Taehyung lifts his shoulder in a shrug, “Just worrying, she’s my friend after all. Would hate to see her not have a good time.”

“Right.” Seokjin says, and then takes a breath. He doesn’t have to entertain this. He turns on his heel, walking through the crowd towards the bathrooms.

He finds you just coming out, pulling the lace of your sleeves back down to your wrists. He takes your hand, “We’re leaving.”

“Okay.”

You follow without complaint or question. Once outside, Seokjin gives you his coat because he doesn’t need it, a hand on the small of your back as he leads you to where he parked. Ever the gentleman, he opens the door for you and waits until you’re situated before going around and getting in.

He turns the heat on, and the drive is silent.

After a moment of your eyes burning into the side of his head, you finally speak: “Are you okay?”

“M’fine.” Seokjin tries to keep the edge out his tone because there’s no reason to snap at you.

You still catch it, and Seokjin sighs when you go quiet. His teeth aches when he clenches his jaw, grip tight on the steering wheel. It wasn’t long before he’s pulling into the parking lot of the apartment and you’re out the car first.

The way up to your apartment is silent, and it continues until you’re both inside, taking your shoes off at the door.

“Wanna tell me what’s wrong now?”

Seokjin feels guilt knot his stomach as you stare at him, a patient look on your face.

“I’m sorry. It’s just...”

There was still a lot of things Seokjin was getting used to. It’s been a year since he decided to break every rule set for him and stay with you. There are times when he’s blissfully unaware of it. When he’s tucked it into the far reaches of his mind in a box under lock and key and it doesn’t bother him. Sometimes though, like now, it rattles along the inside of his head, bouncing off corners.

Taehyung is the one who sent you that horrid floral arrangement on valentines day. It had long stopped irritating him whenever thought about it. The initial jealousy had come and crested like a wave and was gone then. Now it crashes in like a tsunami.

It’s not just jealousy he feels, but a strange sense of being lost. Like he’s walking through a fog with a blindfold. He’s aware of what he did, when he decided to turn his back on his duty and be selfish. He knows well there are some things he can’t ever give you.

A normal, happy life is one of them.

He can give you whatever you ask for, anything you want it’s yours without question. But what happens later? Years down the road and you’re married to him and he can’t give you the one thing you’ll want then.

The person meant for you could give that to you.

He’s being selfish. You’ve never complained, but Seokjin knows you must’ve wondered about it by now. The what if. Maybe...perhaps it would've been better if he'd followed through with leaving then...

“Jin?” you call softly, ducking your head a bit to meet his gaze, “Talk to me, what is it?”

“Do you regret it?” His voice is just as soft, looking down at his feet. He looks up, somewhere above your head, sighing, “Do you know that he’s the one who sent you those flowers?”

You seem confused for a moment, and then recollection lights in your eyes. “Oh! Oh...Jin.” you chuckle a bit and step closer.

“Don’t laugh, it’s not funny.” Seokjin groans, and meets you halfway when you reach for him. Your fingers dance at the nape of his neck and Seokjin pulls you closer by the waist.

“Is that what was bothering you?”

He can only hum, and you chuckle again. The warmth of your hand rubs circles against his back and he feels that warmth seep into his bones and settle there.

“I don’t regret anything. None of it.” You murmur against his neck, and Seokjin pulls away, cupping your cheek with a hand. His thumb gently caresses, and he meets your eyes for the first time in a while and calls your name softly.

“There are things that I can’t give you.”

“So?”

There’s a fierce look in your eyes that makes Seokjin wrap his next set of words up neatly and swallow them.

“None of that matters. You’re more than enough.”

Seokjin closes the gap between you both, pressing his lips firmly to yours. The arm at your waist pulls you close and the hand that sits at the side of your neck tails into your hair to tug at the many pins that you’d secured it with.

He spins you with practiced ease, pressing your back against the wall of the entryway and crowding your space.

He places a kiss at the corner of your mouth just to tease, and chuckles when you chase. His kisses trail along your jaw, stopping just below your ear, and he takes the lobe between his teeth.

The little sound you make shoots down his spine, and he feels your fingers curl into the fabric of his sweater. He taps at your waist, his hand trailing over the curve of your ass and he gives you a moment to settle your arms securely around his neck before he lifts.

He doesn’t need to see where he’s going to find his way to your bedroom, and he busies himself with kissing and marking the skin he could reach. The fingers of his other hand finding the zipper at the back of your dress to tug down.

He sets you on your feet, pulling back just enough to help you out of your dress, his eyes still closed as he trails his lips over your collarbone, pushing the fabric off your body until it pools at your feet. Your skin is warm where he touches, he ghosts his fingers along your sides and revels the way you visibly shiver.

The bralette you chose for the night is lace and hides nothing from his hooded gaze, your nipples taut from the chill and his caress. He thumbs at the peaks, and when you tug on the hem of his sweater, he tuts at your impatience.

His hand slides up your back, unclasping the bralette and pushing you gently back until you hit the bed. The straps slide down your arms and he tugs it off, palming at a breast with a groan trapped behind his teeth.

“Jin..” you sigh his name and Seokjin hums, tilting his head at you.

He leans into you and you fall back. Seokjin holds his weight on his hands just above tour shoulders, and his knees trapping your thighs between them. He watches you blink up at him with some confusion as he simply stares.

“Let me ask you something.” He says, and then he shift, getting onto the bed and sitting with his back against the headboard. He curls his fingers at you, and with a bit of uncertainty tinting your form you follow. He settles you between his spread legs, pressing a kiss to the junction where your neck meets your shoulder as he traces patterns against the skin of your thighs.

He spreads you legs with a gentle hand, bringing his legs up a bit so that the back of your knees hooks against his thigh. Seokjin brings his hand down quickly, the lace of your underwear does nothing to shield you from it and he chuckles when your surprised whine meets his ears. He feels you trying to snap your legs shut as the sting of his hand runs through you, the way your back arches away from his chest.

“Tell me, sweet girl.” Seokjin coos, and he decides to be nice, rubbing soothing circles against your lace covered pussy. He could feel just how wet you are, your panties slide against your slick skin with his movements, damp against his hand. “Do you think you’re deserving of my touch right now?”

Your exhale rattles against his chest, and he waits patiently for your answer. He allows you a moment to think, and he knows it’s hard, as his fingers tease at the seam of your underwear, slipping underneath to find the wetness there.

“I am.” You finally say.

“Oh, are you?” Seokjin chuckles, dipping a finger into the warmth of you just to hear your gasping moan. He presses the finger against your clit, circling once, twice, and then he stops. “Do you want me to tell you why you’re not?”

Seokjin kisses your jaw, and the slight shift of your hips doesn’t go unnoticed. “You let that man get near you. Allowed him to act like I wasn’t there. Ignored the way he was looking at you.”

“Jin, it wasn’t...”

“Shh,” Seokjin shushes you gently, fingers resuming the slow, torturous grind against your clit. “I should make you cum until you cry.”

The whimper you let out makes his slacks feel constricting. He sinks two fingers, knuckle deep into you and kisses your neck when your head lulls back against his shoulder. He watches the way his hand moves under your panties, curling his fingers against the spot that makes your toes curl.

He presses the heel of his palm against your clit, and runs his tongue along the shell of your ear when your pussy clenches and your moans go up in pitch.

“Close already?” Seokjin coos mockingly, a chuckle on his exhale. The fingers of his other hand pinching lightly at your nipples, and then he stops, “That’s too bad, then.”

Your groan holds frustration and Seokjin unhooks your legs from his. He stands to rid himself of his clothes, his cock hard and weeping when it slaps lightly against his stomach. The reaction you invoke in him has never changed, a shiver slithers down his spine and watches at your tongue darts out to moisten your lips. You reach a hand out to him and Seokjin takes it, bending a little at his waist to press kisses against your fingers.

He fishes a condom from your nightstand – ever mindful – and then crawls between your legs, taking a moment to slide your panties down them.

“Okay?” He asks to make sure that you’re okay to continue, that he’s not driving you too hard.

You nod, and you lift your hips, pressing his cock between your wet heat and his stomach. Seokjin groans against your lips, tightening his grip against your thigh.

He moves his hips, pulling back and then pushing into you with slow, languid strokes. He kisses you tenderly, his tongue exploring your mouth. When his fingers brush against your clit, the way your core tightens around his cock has him seeing stars. His thrusts gets faster, and he knows just how quickly you’re hurdling towards your end, he watches every minute expression. The way your eyes squeeze shut and how your lips curl around his name, the scratching of your nails down his back.

Just as you reach the peak, Seokjin moves his hand away and slows his thrusts, leaving you trembling and whining. He smiles against your lips, and whispers, “Let’s take this slow.” He kisses you again, his thrusts becoming slower and gentler.

He continues to move in and out of you at a slow, steady pace, taking his time to bring you to the edge of pleasure again and again. Eventually, he begins to speed up, and he moves his hand back to your clit, sending you over the edge into a powerful orgasm.

“Fuck.” Seokjin groans, following not long after, his forehead against your collarbone. There’s a ringing in ears when he comes down, and he presses a kiss to your sternum before pulling away.

After you were both cleaned up and the sheets were changed, Seokjin holds you close as you both watch the couple of minutes tick by until midnight.

“Do you have any resolutions?” Your head is against his chest, a leg over his hip.

He traces patterns against your thigh, thinking quietly. This is another one of those human things that he wouldn’t ever grasp. You rang in the last new year with Yoongi and Hoseok while he was busy with his duties with the other Cupids in the area, so you must’ve had this question for a while.

Seokjin hums softly, “Loving you. That’s it.” He smiles when you giggle and when the fireworks start up at the stroke of midnight you both watch them light up the night sky through your open window.

“Happy New Year, Jinnie.”

Seokjin turns, capturing your lips in a gentle kiss and he whispers the words back to you.

You both lay there for a moment, quiet, and then Seokjin speaks: “You know, I could make him fall in love with his office chair or something.”

“Jin.”

tagging: @xpeachesncream @bangtansmauyeondan @taestefully-in-luv @blog-name-idk @madbutgloriouspond @euphoricfilter @luaspersona @mssukeyna @allhobbitstoisengard @eoieopda @minmin2022 @liveyun

[graychrissy]

🌹VOID CHART PROGRESS + success🌹

I have finally decided to stop being a puss- and lazy ass,just because of ADHD and I will enter void.

I will be using lucid dreaming method because I had lucid dream few times before so and I even entered void but I thought I'm dreaming so I didn't affirm,so it help living in the end knowing I have lucid dream before.

Routine

• Listen to subliminal with isochronic tones 30-60 mins in the morning and 1 hour at night.

• Using askfirmations for 30 mins.

• psych-k 3 or more session of 10 mins.

• living in the end.

Progress chart

23/11/23 : Only listen to the subliminal with isochronic tones for 1 hour. •{I tried sleep paralysis and set my alarm around 5 hours, sadly when I woke up I didn't remember any dream,when tried inducing sleep paralysis I got scared so I feel asleep withe the intent to see a vivid dream and I succeeded but I wasn't lucid.}

24/11/1/23 : listened sub for 1 hour 30 minutes in morning,forgot to affirm,used subliminal for 30 mins and used adambja's affirmation tapes 20 mins. •{Ok guys,I have dropped the plan to use subliminals my ears hurt,so one of my friend shared me @adambja tapes,I only listen 2 times while doing psych-k 10 minutes each side.}

•••••••••••••••••••••••

New Routine

• Use affirmation tapes 2 times in the morning,2 times in afternoon,2 times in evening,2 times before going to bed.

• askfirmation "Why do I always lucid dream?"

• psych-k while listening to the tape.

•••••••••••••••••••••• Progress chart

25/11/23 : listen 7 times while doing psych-k.

•{So I had a vivid dream,and I was about to become aware but since it was already morning my neighbours were being loud and i woke up.}

26/11/23 : listen for 38 minutes and include a new method this one found it on @voidprincessblog lucid dream guide.

•{Didn't had any dream,but then I woke up around 5 and fall asleep with the intention to dream and I had a pretty normal dream nothing weird and I remembered a little and lastnight tried the new four fold breath method but failed I was too sleepy.}

27/11/23 : Listen ? times,affirmed and did the breath method.

•{I change my listening time, because I get really bored while listening the tape for 1 hour And I remembered TODAY that I haven't affirmed , I literally forgot about it😐,so today I affirmed just a little though. Also didn't had any lucid dream but after doing the breath work,I was trying to sleep and I don't know why but I felt like I'm dying,and for few seconds I think I was in void but I woke myself up.}

28/11/23 : didn't listen to the tapes but did breath work.

•{So I took a nap did the breath work and again the weird feeling as I was trying to fall asleep. Not much result,I don't ev n remember if I dreamed.}

•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•° So guys,my desperation is higher then mountain Everest,and bcz I was not getting too much success from the tape to get rid of all the limiting beliefs neither it was helping with my anxiety😭. So I decided to use a lucid dream sigil as well😐.

•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

29/11/23 : Listened to the tape,used @charmedreincarnation reverse psychology method while vaunting and it's quite similar to askfirmation as you are questioning your amazing ability to lucid dream or manifest and the practice setting intentions.

•{So I've been noticing something,last time when I did psych-k was on the 2nd day of listening to Adambja's tape and I almost lucid dream,but these day I don't even remember my dream🤡 I guess gotta start doing it.}

•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

•(As y'all know I didn't listen the tape on 28 and I was feeling so bad like soooooo bad the whole day along with that I had to to college to get my ID,but my anxious self. Didn't go today and I feel like hitting myself,I wanted to go with my friend Mac but she said she'll go on 30 so I was also thinking to go with her,but damn her boyfriend got it for her🤡😭.)

•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

30/11/23 : Listen to Slade's void and lucid dreaming sub.

•{Yesterday on 29th I listen to the tapes,and today morning I was feeling less stress no nervousness not like sweating from anxiety like I used to feel if I had to go outside,also didn't lucid dream}

1/12/23 : Listened to tapes 1 time, and Slade's lucid dreaming sub.

•{ I skipped again yesterday (30 th),but I did use Slade's lucid dreaming sub,and void sub(had a good experience),so I had a weird vivid dream today morning and I think I will able to lucid dream very soon}

New routine (sorry I can't control myself😭)

• Listen to Adambja's tape while doing Psych k.

• Listen to Slade's lucid dream subliminal.

• Do distraction method.

Progress chart continues

2/12/23 : Listen to tape one time only and use Slade's dreamworld and ETA subliminal.

•{I had 2 weird dreams, I can't remember them properly but before I woke up,I remember i was talking about lucid dreaming in my dream}

•(I did the distraction method last night and y'all I'm shooketh again,this haven't happen before,so lastnight I almost enter void within 20 mins,the experience was something I never had,as y'all know we shouldn't pay attention to our 3d or body,I did exactly that MONTHS ago when I was being a procrastinator and being lazy,but at that time I use to focus my body alot so I used to feel itchy alot,but this 2 days I didn't felt a thing,and last night was something I felt my body melting,and it felt too good that even when I wanted to stop I kept going,it felt just sooo good)

3/12/23: Listened to the tape 1 hour,and used subs with isochronic tones.

•{so last night that's 2nd December,I forgot to listen to the tapes but I used the subliminals, but sadly I don't remember my dream but atleast I dreamt 🤭,I wasn't able to do the distraction method, because my pregnant dog was being whiny and wanted to cuddle with me😭,so I didn't do it)

Edited : I remember the dream,it was something about waiting room🤯, bro

4/12/23: Didn't use the tape,fall asleep while listening lucid dreaming sub.

•{I had 2 really vivid weird dream,I swear I was in void too but from there I went to another dream}

5/12/23: Didn't use the subliminals nor the tape.

•{ I had an exam today,so I just listen ,glosygirl's exam sub overnight🥲,but I actually had vivid dreams,sadly I forgot to write it down in my dream journal}

•••••••••••••••••••••••

💀Made a new routine

•••••••••••••••••••••••

Progress chart continues

6/12/23: listen to the tape for 30 minutes while doing psych-k,I was affirming along and before going to bed listen to Slade's LD sub.

•{ I had a pretty uncomfortable dream I don't even want to remember}

7/12/23: I skipped the tapes again because of exams,but used the subliminal.

•{I don't really remember what happened honestly I recalled it but I forgot again}

8/12/23: Skipped again 💀 but used the tape.

•{Anyways I had a pretty weird dream and had an awakening but I was gonna get lucid}

Note: from 6 to 8 it's not too accurate because I forgot to update due to exams but don't worry it's no different.

9/12/23: Listen to the tape and slade sub.

•{almost had a lucid dream again}

10/12/23-15/12/23: I listen to the tape only few times and that's for my exams.

•{So I barely listen to the tape but my dreams are becoming vivid everyday and I always almost become lucid but always get woken up by my parents also a thing I noticed is that,I had to wake up in between and after that sleep with the intention to dream then only I remember my dream}

16/12/23: Listen to to the tape at night and used the LD sub.

•{I just remembered my dream and I also tried entering void through the basic method I got super close but my dogs start barking}

17/12/23: Listen to the subliminal

•{I didn't got any good sleep because of my dogs }

18/12/23-24/12/23: I'm still procrastinating and had a mental breakdown in between but I also tap in the void which I will count as success.

I will be more focus on tapping in the void rather then LD so I created a new routine for myself.

25/13/23-31/12/23: I stopped to take a break.

Since it's new year and I want to start of fresh I'm back and will mostly stay focus on waking up in void and LD.

New routine (smiling in embarrassment)

I will follow my own living in the end challenge but I modified it. After I saw success story from a blogger Doona and mention about morphic field I'm going to use the once she recommended and along with it I will start using void and LD subliminals.

1/01/24: I started using morphic fields and then then LD subliminal.

•{ I have multiple vivid dreams and I got so many chances to be lucid}

2/01/24: done following the routine.

•{Got some weird af dream again very vivid}

3/01/24: Done listening the subs and tape.

•{Had super vivid dreams)

4/01/24: Done listening.

•{Umm guess who enter void through LD meeeee😭☝️}

YK what I'll make another progress chart I haven't manifested anything yet. I will yeet this app for few days.

[trashpandacraft]

i really like seeing posts about how other people are processing their fibre, so i thought that i'd add ours. we bought a couple bags (about three kilos—this photo is only half) of raw fleece at sheep and wool, and now have it all washed out and cleaned up.

the most helpful boys in the world were very interested in what we were doing, and frankly far less suspicious of the large tub of water than i would've preferred for them to be.

anyhow, about a kilo of fleece got dumped into the tub and arranged to be as aligned as possible. in future washes, i didn't bother with this and didn't find that there was much a difference, and certainly not sufficient difference to justify the time and effort spent carefully laying it out.

i imagine that this is different if you're washing a whole fleece and things are already more or less aligned. if you're washing a bag of of fleece that's just been plopped into the bag, i would suggest not bothering.

the small bag at the end were some locks that we'd picked ahead of time to see if they washed up nicer. (spoiler: they did not.)

worth noting is that we have one of those bathtubs that's short but deep, so this isn't as much water or space as it looks like.

if you've ever wanted to see how water-resistant wool is, here's a great example. these photos were taken the next morning, and some of the fibre was still totally dry, despite having carefully pushed it all underwater before we headed to bed.

after about twelve hours of soaking, this is what we had—the water doesn't look that dirty in the second photo, but you can just barely see a cloud of dirt at the edge of the mesh bag we were using to hold the wool in place in the tub. (it was just laid on the bottom of the tub, and meant that we could easily move the wool up or down the tub, or lift it out entirely, without having to move it much.)

anyhow, soaking water from this batch went into a bucket to feed my wife's plants. (and then the next batch i fucked up and drained it. 🤡 it's amazing they put up with me, tbh.)

wool got moved safely away from the water, and then it was time for the hottest tap water we could manage. our tap runs at well over 60c/145f, so we didn't bother to try to make it any warmer. as it was, i was very grateful that we'd bought the extra heavy duty kitchen gloves.

we added a couple splurts of dishsoap (palmolive) to the tub, then carefully let the fleece spread itself out again, which doesn't take much encouragement, thankfully. and then we fucked off for a while.

twenty minutes later, the water looked like this.

my hand's in the water to about my knuckles in that photo, and as you may notice, it very much appears that i have no fingers.

second wash. our friend the very large mesh laundry bag helped hold the fleece first away from the drain, and then from the tap, and we did it again just like the first wash.

another twenty minutes, and we had this.

you can almost believe that i've got fingers! progress!

this post offers a great look at what it looks like when lanolin is leaving a fleece. we have incredibly soft water, so most of their findings weren't especially relevant to our washing, but the visual guide is fantastic, especially since it took them so many changes to get things clean.

so again, drained, refilled, and resoaped, then left to sit for twenty minutes. and this time, i came back to this!

a whole entire hand! fingertips and everything! i was sort of surprised, honestly, since fine wools have a reputation for being really lanolin heavy, but after this batch of fleece i went down to two washes, and feel like it was more than sufficient for 90% of it. (there was a chunk of merino/bond cross in a later batch that was a little shorter and more lanolin heavy, and likely could've used a third wash, but i'm using that to make rolags and it's going fine, so whatever.)

anyhow, fleece clean! rinse time!

this looks like fleece in water, because that's what it is. we did two rinses, and that seemed plenty sufficient to get out all the suds.

next we spread it out as gently as possible onto a cheap sweater drying rack and hung it on a giant screw that's sort of inexplicably sticking sharp-end-out of the eaves of our porch. (and you'd be like 'that sounds normal, lots of people have screws or whatever to hang things,' to which i'd say 'it does! except that there are three of them and the placement is utterly bizarre, and this is the only one that you can hang anything from.' my best guess is christmas lights, but why a screw? why sharp side out? how sharp side out, at that?)

wool, drying! and the hated roses that have been blooming all fucking winter and are continuing to bloom and are getting bigger and now have spawned more roses somehow, and now we have a bunch of red roses, too. when we moved into this place a year and a half ago there were only white roses. we don't know where the red ones came from, nor do we know why the roses are suddenly VERY TALL—see how in this photo, they don't even clear the top of the wall? now they're like 50cm over it. eighteen inches over it. why. i hate them.

i will continue to hate them unless they become tall enough and self-support enough that they accidentally shade our office, in which case i will hate them slightly less but i'll be mad about it.

and now we're done! that's a lock of nice clean wool! all we did before this photo was fluff out the tips a bit.

i combed some out, and it's pretty good!

nice little nests of combed top. the wool's slightly different colours because, like i said, it wasn't a fleece, it was just fleece, if that makes sense, so there's a bit of a range of colouration in there. but there's much less loss than i'd expected, even combing it out, and all up this was a much easier and less miserable process than i'd feared it would be!

i've put off buying raw fleece for a long time, partly because i've mostly lived in apartments and haven't had a ton of space in which to wash it, and partly because i'm disabled and was afraid that doing it would be too much physically, but it turns out that i probably could have done this a lot sooner, and also that it's not really that hard on the body. the worst of it for me was bending over the tub to fill/refill and then get the wool onto the drying screen, which was a little rough, but definitely not so rough i wouldn't do it again.

(we then did this several more times to get all the fleece washed, and i can already tell you: we're gonna do it again.)

this is the first time i've done raw fleece that had lanolin in it, so please don't take this as an authoritative resource, but that's what we did, and it worked really well and was a lot easier than i'd feared, so i figured i'd share.

[agendabymooner]

if not for you ! daniel r. x ofc (måneskin member! ofc) // toto w.

SPIN OFF for COLOUR ME YOUR COLOUR and RUSH

"there'll be no spring if not for this love of mine"

summary: posts and tweets exchanged between lester and others during the baku race weekend as she babysat toto and tilly wolff's children. OR chaos ensues in the paddock and the hospitalities as the wolff kids and an asshole ex-lover (is he really?) made their presence known to almost anyone

content warning: character-centric, mentions of questionable man, appearance of characters not yet shown in the series colour me your colour, toto wolff being canonically fashionable, use of explicit language, faceclaims used for the kids, danny is full on babygirl in the instagram comment section. f1 drivers being messy.

note: sorry for the awol guys, i was walking my fish. tomorrow is the start of the canadian gp 2023 and i am sad that i am not there. maybe next year when i have the money? or maybe when i work for pr. who knows. since i'm not there, i'm just celebrating and writing this.

ALSO!! should i do a blurb or something relating to lester babysitting the paddock kids- like the wolff kids? i've started on it but...

enjoy xx

masterlist

[first image dialogue: i don't normally look at the time because i dress faster than this. i even dress ren and tia for less than seven minutes and they're always dressed nicely for their music classes]

[second image: if they're dressed ten minutes after, that's not my doing; toto dresses them and he struggles a lot. he mostly gets them ready if he's taking them to work or if i'm off to a meeting in milton keynes]

[third image: we've made a lot of trips to ralph lauren and tommy hilfiger because he thinks that he can just mix and match the clothes that we got there for the bunch. said it's a "capsule wardrobe." that's what happens when you're married to a fashion expert, i suppose.]

[fourth image: you'll be able to know if he dresses them once you see the jumper/dress shorts/trousers combo or the dress/jumper combo. you'll know he did the preparing if tia's hair is put in place with a hair clip. she loves it when her papa puts in barrettes in her thin hair.]

tagged tillywolff, mercedesamgf1, redbullracing

view 32142 more comments

carlossainzjr ay, i didn't know they were running a barber shop! i need a haircut

tillywolff i don't recall buying that toy set for them 🧐

charles_leclerc maman said to get it for them so it can remind them of their mamé pascale

tillywolff thank you so much for taking care of ren and tia! i've been told they enjoyed being with their zia lori. maybe you can take care for adelmo next time? liked by loressandro

loressandro i will definitely set up a playroom for the next time!

landonorris thank you so much tillywolff for the best hairstylist ever 😇 i got the best trim in the grid right now and no one can outdo it

mercedesamgf1 boss is asking who's responsible for allowing one of the wolff puppies drink red bull? just asking for research purposes 😊

charles_leclerc maxverstappen1

lewishamilton maxverstappen1

user1 LMFAOOOO not lewis and charles snitching on their in-law 😭

charles_leclerc user1 i need to be in toto's good graces again.

maxverstappen1 it's a red bull water bottle 💀 stop trying to push me back at the starting level mf charles_leclerc

user2 those kids are so toto coded 🥰

user3 if you can survive lando, you can survive the wolff kids 🙌 liked by loressandro

danielricciardo if you can survive the wolff kids, you can survive our kids 😘 liked by loressandro

thomasraggi_ yeah but try surviving her kids ��

ykaaar you're about to have the BEST years of your life, danny

ethaneskin alessandro-ricciardo kids bout to treat the tracks like mario kart deluxe 🤡

loressandro guys please... this is the only man who's willing to put up with me. stop scaring him away

danielricciardo i'm not scared, i am challenged 😎

landonorris danielricciardo mental health wise? bc same.

danielricciardo when are we having our little ricciardo??

loressandro depends if your swimmers are still working in few months or years. also if you stop laughing at your own nephews and nieces, dickhead

danielricciardo got it ma'am. anything just to have your kids <3

[katyspersonal]

So yeah, have been playing some SOTE this evening... and it is 4 AM... and I need to wake up to work at 7 AM... 🤡 me 🤝 @jarognieva

I don't believe I went far, some highlights so far:

1) "But never again" 💀

2) I spent 40 minutes alone on trying to kill annoying knight in the first Mausoleum, until I gave up and got @fantomette22 to help me. And then offered to help HER. We both now have the bitch dead thanks to our incredible strategy: she runs around and distracts the jerk while I spam him with the spells. Team work XDDDD

3) "Fantomette get off my DICK, you are way too good at killing bosses fast I don't want spoilers, sorry I am not as good at this game as you!!! 😭" *kills a Ghostflame Dragon* *kills the Lion Dancer* *kills the uhhhh that one Demihuman swordsman*

4) Lion Dancer battle was so fun and beautiful, holy shit...? Very impressive

5) I was forced to return to shield and spear strategy. :/

6) Celebrants lore?

7) Really interesting items

8) "Shut UP Val, you are TOO good at maps and finding places, stop rubbing it into my face I know I am absolutely useless and can't find shit on my own ;-;" *finds a bunch of curious places and secrets he didn't*

9) He straight up just.. ignored me...

I hoped if I moved very slowly maybe it could have stayed that way.. but nope, one millimeter and I was obliterated xd

10) I might be completely sleep deprived but that Demihuman swordsman used Waterfowl Dance?? Or not? I hope he fucking did because meeting Malenia's teacher is all I really want anymore

11) I absolutely love the feature to see the new items and items discovered in chronological order, helps me to not forget to read the lore as I proceed. Genuinely the most helpful feature after adding the jump button!

12) Interesting NPCs, curious about the guy whose mask weirdly resembles the Wormfaces, and the lore that only Miquella didn't give up on Frejia and healed her wound is sweet..

13) Every second fucking item I pick in this joke place mentions the crusade and how cringe Messmer is and whatever gfhyhgh I like how they can't let me forget for one second that he's a war criminal xD

14) I guess Smouldering Butterflies ARE still Melina's, since Messmer has his own now xD

15) I really want to access that like.. really red place I see from the cliff but don't know how to step into.. I hopefully will figure it out

______

Okay in general it is really fun to play, though so stupidly hard that I have to try different strategies. Again. But seeking everything in blind is cool, after all the only spoilers I've gotten is That One plot twist and the fact that final boss (?) is not my blorbo but some random idiot so gfgfhfhyj Still so much stuff to pick

[youremyheaven]

U GUYYYSSS storytime:

So I got talking to a guy a little while ago and we vibed realllyyy well. He's lowkey the textbook definition of everything I'm looking for in a guy. He's 6'2, well to do (not rich but does veryyyy well for himself), BULKY BROAD SHOULDERED, Venusian etc

The synastry of our charts is insane 🥵 He had Mercury atmakaraka (remember my Mercury DK?? 😌)

He has a Venus Moon and stellium and he's the most Venusian guy I've ever met,,, he LOVES beauty, art, the female form etc and appreciates it. The way he spoke about it was so hot to me ngl,,, mf was so poetic,, he really knew how to speak sensually without ever being creepy or vulgar

His Mercury AK was in Purvabhadrapada and he had a puppy like softie Jupiter guy personality. I loved the fact that he looked like a WWE boxer (bulky af 🥵) but had the personality of a golden retriever. LITERALLY ALL MY DREAMS seemed to be coming true.

I knew his birthday but not his rising sign. Yk what they say about "if something's too good to be true, then it is" ??? yeah, i just couldn't brush off the feeling that something wasn't right. But I couldn't straightaway ask for his birth time, esp since he's Hindu and will know what's up 🤭😂 ANYWAAAYYYS we're talking and everything and this man is love bombing me HARD and I know it because:

a) I'm a retired love bomber myself

b) This is not my first rodeo

and anyways this 🧔🏻 is talking marriage and babies, he's calling me wifey 😭 (kinda cringe bc he's known me for dayyys but good lord handsome men can get away with anything 😤) and he refers to himself as "husband" 😭😭😭 like "husband's proud of you" and "your husband doesn't want you to apologise" 😭 (ew but he's hot 👉🏻👈🏻) and I let myself have my delulu moment and try to give him the benefit of the doubt bc literally he checks every box 🥹and he's soooo completely fond of me. We used to run in the same circles like 10yrs ago, even though I had no idea who he was and never interacted with him then, he told me that he remembered me from back then and thought I was cute 🥺 and later I took a looooong break from social media and he told me he'd wondered where I was all those years 🥹🥹and then I apparently showed up in his "suggested for you" on IG a few months ago and he instantly recognised me and followed me etc 🥺🥹 he's been tryna hmu for monthsssss now but I was with my ex 🤡and then I was recovering from my ex 🤧 so I didn't pay much attention to it. When he told me all this, it kinda made me melt 🫠 how he kept trying to talk to me even though I repeatedly ignored him etc

And he did everything right. I could text him rn and he'd reply in 5 seconds. He always asked me how I was, remembered things, always sent me like 20 different messages until I replied, showered me in compliments (Venusian men love to pour you with their attention, it can even be annoying lmfao) etc like there was nothing in his behaviour, his tone or his words that was giving me 🚩 he genuinely seemed sweet, caring etc and he loved babies 😩 and sent me videos with his nieces and nephews (man's was manipulator pro max) but YK ME 🤪 when I have a gut feeling ☝🏻 I can't ignore it 🤓 so I was very much waiting for the ball to drop and watch him fuck up somehow 💀 initially I felt sooo overwhelmed by all his love (bombing) that I felt like the bad guy for not reciprocating it or feeling that kind of "love at first sight" thing 🤡 BUT

one day he said "I can't believe I found you after 10 years, that means no matter where you are after another 10 yrs, I'll find you then as well" and I was like 🤨 I thought you wanted to marry me and make me your trophy wife 🧐 huh 👀 and he was all 😂😍haha yes ofc I'm just joking bbg 😍😂 but I knew there was more to it

Finally I got his birth time AND GUESS WHAT???

He's Hasta Rising 💀💀💀💀

Idk if you know already but I don't like Lunar men 🤡 and the minute I found out, I was SCREAMING bc 😭 why would God play me like that???? Put the most perfect guy, astrologically and otherwise, in front of me, I literally have him wrapped around my pinky and HE'S A LUNAR??? why God why 😭

But him & I had come too far for me to dump his ass for no reason 😬 (can't tell him it's bc the sus vibes I got from him was further bolstered by him being Lunar 🤭) so I was praying to God to give me an opportunity where he fucks up so that I can walk away 🚶🏻‍♀️from this situation before things get out of hand

AND GOD DELIVERED 😩

I was texting him the other day and he spoke about how he wants to spend as much time with me as he can before we go out to chase our dreams (move away from this city basically) and I was like 🤨so you're looking for a short term relationship?? And he was like 🥺 no never and I was like why tf would you say you want to marry me and have babies (1 boy and twin daughters 😭🤡💀) if you already know you cannot commit???? And he was like "because we could meet again in a few years and it would be nice to have this plan ready" 💀💀💀💀 HE ACTUALLY SAID THAT AKSKKSJSJDIID brother thinks my IQ is in the negatives bc WTF sort of explanation is that 😭 and i told him "this manipulation might work elsewhere but not on me, good luck tho, bye, I'm done here 💅🏻" and he went 180 and said "I'm so sorry, I was just trying to be funny, please give me another chance, all I meant is that we never know how things go so we can try to work things out but there's no guarantee, please I'm so sorry" 😂😂 and he called me like 3 times and finally said "Can we atleast still be friends? i can't lose you like this" AJSJJSJSJ THE AUDACITY 🤡💀🤡💀

but I just want to say thank you God for showing me his true colours and for giving me the opportunity to exit with grace and dignity and making him feel like a fool 😌✨

[justoneofthoseghosts]

Back from the dead to scream into the void about Bridgerton because the Polin brain rot is real. I've watched the episodes twice now and have some thoughts nobody asked for:

Colin with all that new found swagger after his hot boy summer just makes me cringe. That whole montage with the ladies - er, no, thanks. Give me back my sensitive Colin please.

Nicola Coughlan is amazing, truly a superstar. She embodies the role so well, in all the bits - comedy, romance, intimate scenes. Ugh. I hope she gets more leading roles!!

Love that Colin drops all pretenses when he senses Penelope's distress at the first ball - sensitive Colin is still there folks!

Also, I think we moved on too quickly from his apology. "There is nothing more I want than to earn back the favor of the one person who has always truly made me feel appreciated." Luke said in an interview that the best version of Colin was the one when he was with Penelope (or something like that) and it does ring true in the first half of the season even if he comes up with this disastrous and misguided plan to help her find a husband. He's always himself when he's with her - there's no postering, no swagger.

I am a huge rom com nerd so I truly appreciated all the rom com elements in this. Nicola just ate that all up. She was amazing in all the awkward moments in the second and third episodes and Luke did a good job too. You could really see their chemistry and how they fed off each other!

They talk about how they first met. Please 🥺 it's the same meeting as in the book and the way they reminisce about it while walking in the market was so cute, straight out of a rom com!

Kinda cringed at Colin's journals because they were about girls 🤡 should have kept them as they were in the book where they were more about his travels.

"We shall gallop along" is this season's "I oiled my way right in" 😂

The first kiss scene was incredible. I think I prefer it to the book because there is much more emotional connection between them - they've been lifelong friends as opposed to acquittances in the book (even if Colin was starting to see Pen in a new light by then). The connection between them is undeniable but they each get something different from it. To Pen, it's the ending. The last thing she would ask from him before she let him go. To Colin, it's the awakening, the shift of his feelings, the beginning of its growth.

Pining, yearning Colin is not as unhinged and chaotic as in the book but I think he might get there in the second half. At least I hope because chaotic, unhinged Colin in the book was pretty great. I mean, interrupting a dance was kind of unhinged of him to do.

But I do like how down bad he becomes after that one kiss 😂 Luke really portrayed it well in the first few minutes of the third episode.

I quite like Francesca and John even though I know how that will end. Curious to see if they'll take front and center in season 4 or if the show is renewed, it'll be in season 5.

I know it is an ensemble show but there seems to be a lot more subplots this season?

lol at Portia trying to get her daughters pregnant when one of them hasn't even done it yet since getting married 💀

Penelope and Eloise ❤️‍🩹 they miss each other ☹️ also, I do not care for Cressida.

I've always liked Violet's talks with her children and how in tuned she is with each of them.

Can't lie, I loved the carriage scene - Colin's confession, the momentary disappointment that he was getting friend zoned, the intimacy but most especially towards the end where they could just laugh together because at the heart of it, they were very, very good friends first.

Also, that look Colin gets when he realizes he's going to marry Penelope? Chef's kiss, 10/10, no notes. Luke really delivered and I think it helps that a lot of the Bridgerton actors are theater actors because they have a distinct way of showcasing little nuisances in their facial expressions.

Needless to say, I enjoyed it. Even if there were some key departures from the book, I think it was a fairly good job. I can't fault them for bringing in an external force (another suitor) to help Colin realize his feelings even more. In the book, a lot of it happens in his head, which can be hard to translate to a show. At least we got rid of the suitor early and it didn't become a legitimate love triangle.

I do need a Lady Danbury and Penelope alliance though. I loved that in the book and I hope they don't drop it!

[dearly-somber]

deathbed (coffee for your head) | h.js

-> pairing. Han Jisung x f!reader

-> genre. angst, hurt/comfort, f2l (friends–lovers), neighbors!au

-> rating. 13+

-> w/c. 1442

-> warnings. Mentions of divorce; rocky home-life; reader runs away from home (essentially)

-> a/n. Ngl to y’all the formatting for this one was… questionable lmfao. It’s not terrible but… 🤡🤡 idk check it out if you don’t like it 🤷🏻‍♀️

-> collection. songfic

-> started. Sept. 5th, 2020 @ 17:29

-> fin. Aug. 21st, 2021 @ 22:23

-> edited. Sept. 23rd, 2022 @ ???

You walked down the side of the road, the patter of rain distracting you.

You left your house since your parents were having a screaming fit—as they usually did those days. Ever since your mother told your dad that she didn't love him anymore and that she had already filed for a divorce, the tension in the house had been unbearable. You hadn't thought it would start raining, so you were walking with your hoodie up to cover your hair and face, though it was starting to soak though the fabric and make you cold. Your phone rung, Goodbye (by 2NE1) blaring.

Not bothering to check the caller ID, you answered the call with a scratchy throat: "Hello?" You hummed into the phone half-heartedly, stopping underneath a tree.

"Y/N! Where are you? I heard your parents fighting but when I came over to check on you you weren't in your room—"

"Jisung, what have I told you about going through my window? If my mom finds out she'll kill us!" You scolded him, shaking your head disapprovingly

"Whatever, it doesn't matter! Just come to my house, okay? My mom is cooking dinner for us." You smiled softly, humming before turning around to go to your neighbor's house.

Once there you knocked on the door, a low thud accompanying each knock. Jisung opened the door with an excited smile, the smile slowly fading when he saw how wet you were, lips parted in shock.

“You must be freezing… come inside!" He ushered after a moment, quickly pushing you inside. "One sec, lemme grab you some clothes—" it took only a few seconds for him to arrive back with some of his clothes and a towel. "Go change in my room. Mom should finish with the food in a few minutes." He said, pushing you in the direction of his room.

"Y/N! The food's ready!" Jisung yelled just as you finished pulling one of his hoodies over your head. It had been laying on the ground somewhere, so you might as well, right?

"Y/N! It's so good to see you again!" Mrs. Han said with a welcoming smile, hugging you tightly. You smiled with a laugh, nodding.

"I missed you too, Mrs. Han." You said. "By the way, where's (J/B/N)?"

"Oh, he's away for a business trip—"

"Okay, stop talking about my hyung and come spend time with me," Jisung whined, pulling you away from his mother. You had met Jisung in your shared classes, since you were both music majors at school. You had hit it off with him, and when you found out he was your new next door neighbor, you were practically tied to the hip. You giggled as Jisung over excitedly dragged you to where the food was, holding your hand before stopping you in front of the soup.

"Quickly, take some before I finish it myself—"

"Okay, God. You're so impatient, you know that?" You said with a raised brow, unable to stop yourself from smiling.

"It's why you love me, Y/Nie." He retorted, scrunching his nose cutely. You chuckled, dishing up before heading to the dining room, where you and Jisung ate.

Mr. Han only came back later, having gotten stuck in traffic on his way home from work. He greeted you casually, since it wasn't unusual for you to stay over some nights. Jisung had only ever really stayed over at your house once or twice, since your father had never really liked him. You guessed it must've been because he didn't trust him, but you knew your mother adored Jisung, so you guess that's a plus.

"Y/N, are you done?" Jisung asked, looking up from his phone. You nodded as you took your last bite, finally finishing. You had kept getting distracted your thoughts, so it had taken a while. He smiled at you warmly, getting up with a stretch. You smiled at him gently, the image of his cheeks stuffed with food similar to that of a squirrel stuck in your head. You had told him that it was cute and it's exactly the reason why you had saved him on your phone as 'Squirrel bby🐿'.

"Shall we go to my room, then?"

"Mmm." You hummed, taking his hand and smiling up at him brightly: "가자~"

You were sitting with Jisung on his bed, listening to some songs he had produced, reading the lyrics he had given you. He was watching you nervously, biting his lower lip. It was already around 01:03, so his door had been shut to keep the two of you from waking up his parents.

Noticing the way he was biting his lip, you placed a comforting hand on his knee, patting it gently. He smiled at you softly, playing with your fingers until you finished.

"Wow, Jisung."

"What'd you think? Is it shit?" He asked, eyes flicking from his laptop to your eyes questioningly. You scoffed, hitting his arm.

"Yah! Stop that! It was great! The lyrics and beat are amazing... I love it." You reprimanded him, pouting. He giggled, bubbling with happiness as he leaned back with a hand to his cheek, face turning pink.

Leaning forward he squeezed your cheeks, taking his laptop and paper to put it on his bedside table.

"Aah, thank you, Y/N-ssi!"

You hummed quietly, yawning. He sighed, hitting the sides of his mattress. "차, I'm gonna go grab a mattress for you—"

"What? No, Sungie. You'll wake your parents~"

"But—"

"We can just share a bed, dummy~" Jisung went quiet, looking at you stupidly as you made yourself comfortable in his bed.

“What?" You questioned, wide eyed and cute as ever.

"You're not going to be uncomfortable?" He asked, hesitantly getting comfortable with you. You laughed at him, poking his cheek with a fond smile.

"Of course not! I trust you, Sung-ah. And anyway," You smirked, moving forward to wrap yourself around him, the exact reason why he always referred to you as 'koala'. "You're a very huggable size. We fit together perfectly—" He chuckled at that, slowly wrapping his arms around you. You cuddled further into his chest, a content sigh leaving your lips.

Jisung bit down on his lower lip once more, looking down at the top of your head nervously. Now or never, Jisung!

"Uhm, Y/N?"

"Mmm?" You had closed your eyes. God, he was so warm—

You hadn't cuddled with Jisung all that much, since you usually only watched television at your home, generally playing games when you came over to his place to hang out.

"If I told you I liked you, would you be mad?" He asked quietly, making you look up at him.

You propped yourself on your elbow, eyeing him scrutinizingly. "You're being serious?" You asked, voice soft as you watched him. With a nervous gulp, he nodded, looking at you. When, a minute later, you hadn't yet answered, he cleared his throat, looking away sheepishly.

"It's okay if you don't like me back, I wasn't expecting you to, any—"

Jisung's eyes widened comically, his hand squeezing the side of the covers in all of his shock. You had kissed him to shut him up, your hand on his upper thigh. Slowly, Jisung's eyes fluttered closed, his hand making it's way to cup your cheek gently. His thumb brushed over your skin lightly, sending a tingle down your spine. You pulled away, looking at him expectantly. When he finally re-opened his eyes, he looked at you with his lips parted slightly.

"Does that answer your question..?" You asked with a shy smile, searching his eyes. Not trusting his voice, the boy nodded, watching with a smile as you leaned in again. He put one hand on your waist while you moved to sit on his lap, wrapping your arms around his neck and playing with the tips of his hair, his other hand still cupping your face. A couple more minutes passed while you kissed him, finally pulling away. You watched him lovingly, smiling before resting against his chest, your head tucked under his chin.

He chuckled lovingly at you, holding you to his chest, sliding down the bed some more while still keeping you close.

"I love you." You whispered, making him kiss your forehead with a soft smile. You lifted your head to place a quick kiss to his shoulder, your hands resting idly on his hips.

"I love you more..." He challenged.

You moved back to look at him again, kissing him softly and leaning your forehead against his, lips still lightly brushing over one another:

"I love you most," You whispered.

[been-taking-muay-thai-classes]

I Can't Heal What's Broken (All I Need Is A Change)

This was supposed to come out like a week ago but then I kept having ideas for things that could happen during Rollo’s first day at nrc and then I kept second guessing if the guys were in character and long story short it’s 12k words again, whoops.

We don’t really have too much to go off of given how little time Rollo has had so far (yes I totally expect him to come back I am booboo the fool 🤡) and then there’s the language barrier, but hopefully the guys feel accurate enough.

Also, I allude to the Prefect being a somewhat good painter because I noticed there’s a canvas on the room in-game and I thought ‘hey if I or anyone painted regularly for a few months we’d probably get good at it, right?’ Also because I thought it made for some nice interaction with Rollo.

Trigger Warning: descriptions of anxiety attacks.

The Prefect was trembling slightly, whether from cold or nerves they weren’t sure. Probably a combination of both.

In just a few minutes Rollo would arrive and change everything about how Ramshackle operated. They felt excited yet anxious, what if they didn’t get along? It’d be miserable to share a living space with just one other person and not get along. But worse it’d be if Rollo couldn’t adapt to life in NRC. 

‘Quit shaking henchman! You’re making me dizzy!’ Grim complained from his spot in the Prefect’s arms. They let out a quiet apology and let him down as they saw Crowley approach with someone in tow, Rollo.

The Prefect gulped down their nerves. There was no more time to overthink this, the decision was made. Time to show Rollo the determination and friendliness they were known for here at NRC.

‘Grim, please behave today, we don’t want to make Rollo’s first night here anymore difficult than it already is’ By the way Grim opened his mouth and furrowed his brow, he wanted to retort something but soon chose to shut up and scamper off back to the dorm muttering something about counting how many snacks he had before anyone tried to steal from him.

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Rollo was perplexed. Two months after the symposium, when he admitted in front of the student council what he had done during the symposium- no, why he had suggested the symposium in the first place, he expected looks of disgust and betrayal, words of anger and demands of punishment, to be kicked out of the school and thrown in jail. Sure, the other students had looked betrayed, and they had also risen in anger to demand answers but ultimately they didn’t punish him as harshly as he had expected, as he had hoped.

‘Presid- Rollo, please…please tell us this is a joke’ The desperation in Yeshua’s voice was palpable, they all knew Rollo was not one to joke around ‘There has to be an explanation, a reason why you did that? Please just tell us’ Tristan was noticeably quiet, staring at the floor in deep thought. 

Rollo didn’t feel like explaining, not after the way those Night Rave students reacted, like their anger had been tempered by sympathy. Rollo didn’t need sympathy, he needed to atone so that this guilt would finally go away.

So he remained quiet, just looking at Yeshua with a blank stare.

‘The gargoyles said that you were troubled’ Ah, so they talked to other people besides himself ‘That maybe we would manage to reach out to you since we are made of flesh and blood, but it seems you’re not ready yet Rollo’ Tristan’s hand felt warm on his shoulder, reassuring almost.

His eyes told him he was hurt, utterly heartbroken but also ashamed, as if the depth of his fear and sorrow was something they should have been able to know.

Rollo’s stomach twisted and turned, he felt his lungs battle to get the air in, his head spun and suddenly the room was too tiny. He had to get out, now.

He rushed outside, breathing madly in and out, saliva coating the corners of his mouth as he tried to calm himself. The world kept spinning so he closed his eyes, took a deep breath in and tried to remind himself that he was fine, he just had to get this over with so the guilt would disappear. Soon he’d be in jail and all thought of his plans, of his time in this school and of his talks with the people of the city would be erased by time.

He turned around when he heard the click of the door and saw his classmates standing there with troubled looks. Clearly still processing what he said. Rollo hoped they would decide something already.

Instead, Yeshua and Tristan brought the situation to the Headmage who quickly tried to make sense of everything. Naturally he couldn’t just tell the authorities about the Crimson Flowers, it could damage the school’s reputation and in turn the other student’s prospects for the future. There was also the fact that Rollo was a model student, dutiful, serious and responsible and Headmage Tirmont had to also admit that being able to bring a flower back from extinction was a most impressive feat, even if the flower itself was dangerous. Truly Rollo could do great things in the future! But for that he had to have a future.

He was stuck between a rock and a hard place. What to do? In the following weeks he consulted with the rest of the student council, to see the perspective of the students who would be most affected by this going public. 

While heartbroken, they agreed that Rollo had done much too good for their school to just be labeled a criminal for the rest of his life, and they also hoped that he could be reformed since nobody had been permanently hurt in the chaos the flowers wrought. Surely if he had confessed it was because he knew in his heart that he did wrong and wanted to make amends. 

The Headmage then sent letters to a few other schools, hoping to find one that would give him advice on this peculiar situation. It was then that Rollo pointed out that the students from Night Raven College were aware of his actions and chose to not turn him in at the time so they could enjoy the ball. He asked the Headmage to send a letter to their Headmage so they would convince Tirmont that he deserved to be imprisoned.

Yeshua and Tristan once again argued, saying that he didn’t deserve such a severe punishment but he was certain they only said that because they admired him for years, until he let them down.

When all the letters had been sent, Headmage Tirmont admitted that he considered expelling Rollo, much to the chagrin of his classmates. He almost smiled but then the Headmage explained ‘There have been many overblots in Night Raven College this year, and yet all the students who’ve overblotted have reintegrated classes just fine. I think that whatever the reason, Crowley has the key to ensure mister Flamme can atone without ruining his future’ At this, Yeshua smiled brightly and Tristan yelled in elation. 

Rollo was…touched, even if his face showed displeasure. Yet, a part of him still wished for proper punishment. He hated being eaten by guilt every time he cleaned the Bell of Salvation or whenever a student complimented him for his dedication to the school or when the people from the city smiled brightly at him for his help after the disaster. He had done so much in the days after the symposium hoping to quell the guilt growing in his heart, hoping that he would not have to face justice… but he was a Noble Bell student, the student council president in fact, and one does not study here without wanting to emulate the Fair Judge at least in some aspect. 

No, Rollo could not live with himself unless he admitted his crime and faced proper punishment for it, it was only fair. 

This was not fair.

Getting expelled from Noble Bell College extra-officially only to be sent to Night Raven College so he could finish his studies seemed like a slap on the wrist to him. The Headmage assured him that it’d be punishment enough but Rollo kept arguing for more. Deep down he didn’t want to have to face the Night Raven College students again, after the way they stopped his plan and made him face his own demons, it left him feeling worse than guilty, it made him feel vulnerable. 

‘Rollo, you are a great student, ask anyone at Noble Bell College and they will say so. You have done so much since your enrollment, and twice as much since the symposium I assume because you wanted to repent somehow. And even if you weren’t such a reliable student, there was no permanent damage, nobody lost their magic and nobody got seriously injured, so to punish you the way you wish to would be disproportionate, it’d be unfair’

The Headmage’s words were pushing through his carefully placed barriers. Rollo couldn’t voice it but he did want a second chance, the opportunity to regain his classmates' trust and hold his head high when visiting the city. Maybe he should listen to what the Headmage wanted to propose.

‘See my boy, I contacted some other Headmages in hopes of sending you to finish your studies in a different school, because I firmly believe that you must graduate and use your talents for good, but I also think you can’t stay here’ Rollo was no fool, he understood perfectly why that would be best for him but it still hurt ‘Between how the students would feel having you here everyday and how much you love our city, I believe this must be part of your punishment: once you leave for your new school you may not return until we believe you have atoned properly. To that end, the city council and I will grant you an audience on this day five years from now to see how far along you have come. Until then, you are banned from entering the City of Flowers’ Rollo tried to suppress his emotions but…well he wasn’t made of stone, unlike the noisy gargoyles. His face showed the shock and hurt coursing through his heart. He grit his teeth and tried to swallow the knot forming in his throat, for as much as he hated to say it this was what he had wanted when he confessed his crime, a fair punishment. 

So why? Why did he feel like this? Why did he feel like hiding under his bed to cry?

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

The day had finally come. Rollo’s bags were packed and he stood solemnly in the front gates of Noble Bell College, wearing casual clothing instead of his uniform. The Headmage had given him a few indications to reach Night Raven College safely as well as his tickets to Sage’s Island. He warned him that the trip would be long so he should try to use it to prepare mentally for his new life. 

Throughout his whole explanation, Rollo’s eyes were empty. As much as he knew this was a much better outcome than what he deserved, he still felt awful. To leave his beloved City of Flowers for so long…maybe forever if his guilt remained as strong as it was now. And he didn’t even want to think of what would await him in Night Raven College.

His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of heels clicking on the cobblestone. The rest of the student council. They looked conflicted to be here, still grappling with someone they respected so much doing something so awful and yet wanting the best for him. Rollo was surprised to see them seeing how early it was, and half expected them to start crying waterfalls amidst their goodbyes. Once again they surprised him. ‘Ex president Rollo…we have come to bid you goodbye’ Yeshua stepped forward with a solemn expression and soon the rest followed ‘We hope that in Night Raven College you may find redemption, not just from others but from yourself. We all agreed to give you this second chance because we believe there is still good in you and we want to see you become that dependable man again, so please do your best’ They all gave a small reverence and Rollo felt guilty all over again. As foolish as they were for being so kind, he still saw in them some of the best students Noble Bell had to offer…and he almost ruined their futures…

‘I will return when I am worthy’ Rollo was never good at goodbyes, or at greetings or at conversations. He wasn’t the most social person but he could make do when it was required of him. Still, the boys in front of him knew him better than most and knew he meant every word. If he didn’t feel worthy of the city, of the Bell’s forgiveness, even if the council deemed him fit he would not return. With that, he entered the carriage and looked one last time at the city that saw him and his brother grow… he saw the stores selling their goods, he smelled the freshly baked croissants and he heard the goats bleating happily and a single tear trailed down his cheek. 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Arriving at Night Raven College had proven to be quite the long trip. Once at the airport he had to take a train, then transfer to a bus, board a ferry, transfer to ANOTHER ferry and once he finally was at Sage’s Island he took another bus to finally reach the imposing gates of the prestigious College. During the long journey, Rollo made use of the Headmage’s advice and thought of what might await him. 

To say he was nervous was an understatement. Rollo fully expected to be received by a group of students still mad at what he had done, ready to lynch him. Instead it was only one man standing imposingly at the front gate. His semblance was grim, with unblinking eyes hidden behind a pointed mask, the feathers on his coat swayed with the wind and for a moment he swore he felt that same breeze run a nail across his cheek. Rollo shook his head to clear his mind and stood as straight as he could. ‘Headmage Crowley, thank you for accepting me amongst your students despite my conduct, I will not waste the opportunity you have given me’ 

Crowley remained unblinking but the movement of his eyes told him he was being studied thoroughly. Naturally Rollo tried to stand taller, to appear more confident and ordered than he was. Finally, the man spoke ‘Why yes! Of course I am happy to give such a bright student a second chance, for I am ever so kind! I’m sure you will fit right in with the students of Night Raven College, mister Flamme. Do follow me now to your new dorm’ With an arrogant smile that hid his previously threatening aura, the man turned around and opened the gate.

The creaking of the metal made a chill run down his spine. For some reason, Rollo felt as if crossing that threshold were an end, to what though? His life? In a way, yes. Once he walked into the campus he would officially be a student of Night Raven College, and while the thought itself wasn’t fastidious, it didn’t feel right. So he took a deep breath and steeled his nerves. This was his punishment, so he had to take it in stride if he ever wanted to return home.

Rollo followed Crowley silently, his steps barely making a sound. Just a few meters away from the gate, the man spoke again ‘Headmage Tirmont tells me you are banned from returning to the City of Flowers until further notice, so I can’t allow you to use the Dark Mirror to visit but if you find yourself wanting to visit some other locations, I’ll be so kind as to open a pathway for you’ He acknowledged his words with a simple thank you and a nod. 

Reaching a crossing, the Headmage turned right and proceeded to explain what some of the buildings were. ‘Opposite of where we’re going is the Coliseum, where the Spelldrive matches are played. Over here is Mister S’ Mystery Shop, where you can restock on almost anything really, Sam always has a good selection of anything you may need’ Rollo glanced in the direction of the shop and noted it’s location in case he ever needed something, but other than that didn’t pay much attention to the details. He would do that come morning.

‘Over there is the Hall of Mirrors, it is the only way to reach the other dormitories as they exist in pocket dimensions. In theory students can come and go as they please but some dorms are more welcoming of visitors than others, so I advise that you use it with discretion’ A small nod was his only answer until he realized they were not going towards the hall but rather around it. Wasn’t he going to live in one of the famed seven dorms? Come to think of it, he didn’t undergo the Mirror Ceremony he has heard about, so where are they going? ‘Headmage, may I ask where will I be staying?’

‘Oh don’t worry about it, we’re almost there. Anyways over here we have the Alchemy Workshop and over there is the Botanical Garden’ The Headmage just kept talking in his chipper tone as if Rollo had never made a question, which irritated the boy a little ‘You are free to visit them on your own time, plenty of students like to maintain a variety of plants both innocuous and dangerous in the Botanical Garden, although I must warn you that everything there is communal so as much as you can make use of plants grown by someone else, they may make use of the plants you grow’ There was a certain glint in his eyes that made Rollo embarrassed. He was teasing him for what he had done with the Crimson Flowers. No matter, spreading the flowers here would be a monumental task and he would rather focus on his studies.

As they kept walking in silence, they approached what seemed to be some abandoned woods in the back of the school. Then, he noticed the building in the distance. Ah, that must be the Ramshackle dorm the Prefect had spoken so fondly about, although it didn’t seem nearly as dilapidated as they had described it. All their effort fixing it up must be paying off, it looked beautiful. Rollo couldn’t help but smile, while they hadn’t talked as much as he wished during their visit, he appreciated how hardworking the Prefect was. The fact that they had to do everything without magic simply added to his admiration. 

‘Well, here we are, your new residence: Ramshackle dorm’ Crowley made a grand gesture towards the gate while the Prefect walked down the staircase smiling all the way. 

Rollo hadn’t forgotten how they looked, but his memory certainly didn’t do them justice.

‘Hi Rollo, welcome to Ramshackle, I hope we can be friends’ Their smile was warm and inviting and Rollo desperately wanted to smile at them too, but he held back, giving instead a polite nod and a handshake that lingered for just a second more than was strictly necessary. 

‘Are you certain that you are okay with me staying here? I would understand it if you would rather I stay somewhere else’ Rollo had to make sure, he didn’t want to impose on them after what he put them through. ‘It’s fine, I’m actually looking forward to sharing the dorm with someone’ He couldn’t tell if they were being sincere or just nice, but whatever the case he had to accept the answer. He wanted to believe they were being sincere.

‘Well then, mister Flamme, I leave you in the very capable hands of the Prefect. If you need anything please don’t be afraid to ask them. Behave’ The threat went unheard by the Prefect but not by its intended target. The swing between the chipper, arrogant Headmage and the powerful, threatening sorcerer was baffling to Rollo…and a little bit intimidating.

It occurred to him that maybe living so far away from the rest of the buildings on campus meant he could easily be disposed of if he angered the wrong people. 

The Prefect seemed to sense his worry for they spoke in a calming manner ‘Ignore him, Crowley tends to not be a very attentive Headmage. In fact, most of the time I’m the one doing his job for him. Anyways, your bags are already inside, I can show you around so you can pick a room to settle for the night’ They led the way to the dorm, making amicable talk on the way. Mostly the Prefect asked about his trip, how he shouldn’t be afraid if he heard odd sounds since it was probably just the dorm’s ghosts playing some prank and how they would help him if he needed anything.

Rollo felt awkward, while he appreciated the Prefect’s kindness, he couldn’t help but feel much like he did back home: filthy and undeserving of their warmth, guilty. 

It wasn’t fair.

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Rollo’s first night in Ramshackle was…….interesting, to put it mildly. First there was the loud familiar who kept demanding he bow to him “as the boss of the dorm” and whom the Prefect seemed to entertain. He considered bowing a little but quickly discarded the idea with a noticeable blush. He would feel ridiculous bowing to a familiar like that but he still chose to entertain the little creature to maintain some peace among them and also because the Prefect seemed fond of him.

So, Rollo crouched a little, looked Grim in the eyes intensely for a few seconds and then patted his head tenderly. The monster-cat didn’t wait a second to make his displeasure known, yelling ‘Ngyaaa! What’re you doing?! I am the Great Grim, you must treat me with respect! Not like some common cat!’ Rollo ignored him and kept petting him, hearing the purring underneath all the yelling and sensing the familiar moving his head closer to his hand. The Prefect stifled their giggling at the sight and rolled their eyes, probably used to this behavior by now.

For the first time in what felt like forever, Rollo smiled earnestly, basking in the warmth that spread in his heart.

If only the night had continued like that, maybe he would have been able to sleep. Instead, the Prefect showed him around, explaining that while most of the first floor and some of the second floor bedrooms were clean and ready to use, the dorm still needed quite some fixing. 

‘The plumbing’s working though, so don’t worry about the water running cold. Heh I used to have to rush when I first got here because the hot water would come and go at random’ The Prefect shuddered for dramatic effect in an attempt to make him laugh and Rollo only felt pity. Stranded in this strange new and dangerous world, and the Headmage hadn’t seen fit to at least give them decent living accommodations? Dreadful. At least while he stays here, Rollo should try and help with the cleaning and repairing of the dorm, it’s the least he could do to reciprocate the Prefect’s kindness.

This thought remained in his mind until he finished showering and prepared to go to bed. Sitting on top of the comforter and staring at his hands, there was not a sound to be heard in the whole dorm, not even the creaking of the floors.

Rollo had avoided thinking too much about…well anything really, since his travel began. Yes he had grown used to the idea of studying in Night Raven but that didn’t really strain him much. No, what he had avoided thinking about was everything else.

His brother, playing with his magic and showing him all the tricks he had learned recently. ‘Look! I can make the light change colors!’ ‘Don’t worry, I can get the fruit from the top of the tree with a breeze! Watch out!’ ‘Please Rollo, tell me that story again. I love the way you tell it’

Yeshua running behind him, talking with Tristan and asking for his opinion of everything, be it student council related or not. ‘Should we remind the students that they need to talk with the teachers themselves if they will leave on vacations early?’ ‘Do you think the blue compliments my eyes? Or maybe I should go with the cerulean?’ ‘We were searching for a place to go eat with the rest of the student council, would you join us?’

The people of the city, welcoming him with big smiles and relying on him like a trusted friend. ‘Ah, Rollo! I saved you some croissants, I know they’re your favorite’ ‘There you are Rollo, I just received this package for Laurent, can you give it to him? He said he can’t visit the city until he’s done with his homework’ ‘Dear, would you lend me a hand? My feet are killing me and these bags are much too heavy for these weary old hands’

His breathing quickened with every memory, he felt as if his chest was constricted, heavy. It was impossible to get air into his lungs. He stood up and walked to the bathroom, still trying to control his breathing. He splashed water on his face and when that wasn’t enough he did it again and again and again. 

He stared at his reflection in the mirror, a mess of tears and ragged breathing desperate for respite. He filled the sink with water and, taking one last look at himself, dunk his head in.

He remained there for as long as he could. Around ten seconds later he rose up and dove back in, this time remaining for a good twenty five seconds. He repeated the process until he was sure his breathing was back to normal.

He sat down on the cold tile floor and grabbed his head. These bouts of fear were becoming increasingly common and he didn’t know how to fix it, could barely contain them when they happened. Maybe he should stop thinking about the past. Seven know he won’t be getting anything good from reliving his failures.

After drying his face, he sat back on his bed and closed his eyes, trying to catch some sleep, or at least allow his eyes to rest some.

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Rollo’s first day of class was full of…how to put it? Exciting happenings. 

First thing in the morning he was met with the Ramshackle ghosts the Prefect had mentioned the night prior.

They haunted some of his things to make noise and wake him with a jump but since he was warned of their little pranks, he sort of expected it. It didn’t help their attempt to prank him that he was already awake when they began haunting his furniture and bags. 

As he stood there, toothbrush in his mouth, staring at them unimpressed, the ghosts semi-stopped their shenanigans and introduced themselves.

Rollo could tell by the tone of their voice that they were disappointed they couldn’t scare him and he felt slightly bad for them. Sure they were ghosts, and from what the Prefect had told him they were also prone to these sorts of tricks, but they had also said the ghosts cared for them a lot since they had given them so much support during their most uncertain times living here. So he relented a little and pretended to faint to make it seem like he had been processing the sight of actual ghosts.

They yelled in happiness, praising each other for their welcoming prank on the boy and then asked him about himself.

They reminded him of the gargoyles back in the belltower, annoyingly nosy and sentimental… he smiled as they told him to come to them if he ever needed someone to talk to. So similar…

The Bell was shining beautifully today, after Rollo’s careful cleaning. Just below, he could hear the gargoyles moving around, probably trying to predict when he’d come down so they could hound him with their incessant questions about his day, attempts to prank him and offers of games and idle chat. 

Rollo had no time to entertain their childish conversation, he had to prepare study guides for the freshmen, discuss the schedules of the physical exams with the teachers for the students who had to leave early on holidays and he had to talk with the club leaders to see if there was anything they may need for the upcoming semester that may be harder to get into the budget. 

‘Rollo! We were just thinking about how great it’d be if you joined us for a game!’ The gargoyles hopped around him, trying to show him the board game they had acquired -he had gotten it for them at their insistence- and which was their recent obsession seeing how little they had to do around the belltower. 

‘I am afraid I have much to do right now, perhaps next time I can join you’ It was a blatant excuse, and one the gargoyles had heard a few times by now so they responded differently this once ‘But Rollo, you always say you’re busy and then you come back at night just to sit and stare pensive at the horizon. Why not play with us instead? Then maybe you won’t feel so overwhelmed at night’ … Since when were the gargoyles this perceptive? 

Rollo sighed as he allowed the gargoyles to lead him to his seat. He already knew the game, it was the classic Life but with locations specific to the Shaftlands. Still, he said nothing as the gargoyles explained the rules and set the board.

They were so excited for a simple game they kind of reminded him of someone dear to him……… Sighing, Rollo threw the dice and moved his piece. He picked a card and again moved his piece. 

The game continued like this, with the gargoyles trying to make him open up and him avoiding it with simple comments about his school life. 

He could sense his defenses weakening, at some point once the board was all purchased and only three players remained, Rollo caught himself almost confessing to having trouble sleeping due to the guilt. Luckily he managed to shut up before the gargoyles could hear him, who knows what kind of sentimental talk they would give him if they knew he was feeling troubled.

Once the game was over he dusted his clothes, gave a small bow and thanked them for the game. Serious as ever, he made to leave when the gargoyle spoke ‘Rollo, I know you don’t think we can be of much help because we are made of stone and live here on the belltower, but sometimes all you need is someone to listen and we excel at listening, so please don’t forget we are here for you. And if you really don’t want us to listen, at least remember that there’s always someone who cares’ 

Rollo stood there for a few seconds and for a moment the gargoyles thought he would stay and share his burden with them, but soon that fantasy was shattered by his steps growing farther. Rollo would never admit it to the gargoyles directly but their words had given him something to think about.

When he heard the ghost’s laughter disappear down the stairs as they told the Prefect how much they liked this new student and the Prefect responded happy that they were getting along, he knew he made the right decision. Even if it cost him dirtying his clean shirt. 

Going downstairs to meet with the Prefect and Grim, he noticed them staring at him while Grim eyed the uncooked food. Ah right, back during the symposium he was wearing the Noble Bell uniform, today he wore only the school pants and a white shirt since he hadn’t found the school jacket provided by the Headmage. Even so, Rollo felt a little self conscious, was his appearance that different without his robe? The Prefect kept glancing down to his torso and back to his face as if to make sure it was really him and he started to feel like covering up. He steeled his nerves and tried to match the Prefect’s stare. Soon their eyes were locked in a sort of unblinking game. 

When their game lasted for a few seconds too long and Grim heard them giggle slightly, he yelled ‘Hey, henchman! You’re supposed to give him the jacked! Stop playing around! Hyeee!’ The monster-cat grabbed the jacket from their hands, startling them with the volume of the yell, and Rollo saw a little flush on their face. He didn’t have time to notice anything else as Grim handed him the jacked and demanded praise for being such a thoughtful boss.

Rollo looked at the cat, then at the Prefect who simply shrugged, and then back at Grim. With a little embarrassment, Rollo scratched Grim’s ears while muttering a small ‘Thank you, Grim sir’ that made the cat purr, although he pretended to be indignant at being treated like a cat. The Prefect once again commented how happy they were to see them all get along so well and Rollo felt proud at exceeding their expectations.

After sharing a nice breakfast with the Prefect and Grim, consisting of an egg omelet, accompanied by some toast, fruit and coffee, they were on their way to class.

On the way to the main building, the Prefect made good on their word of showing him around the campus so he could actually recognize the buildings he’d have to use for the rest of the year.

Rollo was impressed with the size of the campus now that he could appreciate it in its entirety.

He could understand why Night Raven College was considered such a prestigious school, seeing the quality of its infrastructure and knowing firsthand the proficiency of its students.

‘Anyways… uh… we have different classes since I’m a freshman and you’re a third year but if you need help getting to your next class, come find me. I have potionology with professor Crewel’ The Prefect gave him the directions to their classroom since Rollo didn’t have a phone to contact them in case they wanted to meet up. He repeated the instructions perfectly and headed to his classroom before the bell rang, bidding them a good day.

The class itself was easy enough, history of magic was a subject he didn’t struggle with (not that there was any subject he struggled with) and thankfully there were no group assignments for the time being. Still, he couldn’t help but feel…observed. While the teacher turned around to write on the board, Rollo made a quick survey of the room to try and figure out who was staring at him. Sure enough, he found him sitting just a few rows back.

Rook Hunt, one of the guests for the symposium. Rollo remembered him well enough, what with his extravagant speeches, cheerful disposition and that awful nickname he gave him. He wasn’t sure what to make of him underneath all of that, but he got the feeling he was more dangerous than he seemed, especially with the way his gleaming eyes didn't match his smile. 

Rollo gulped, worrying that he would get in trouble so soon. He could endure the rejection and even hatred he may get from the students here, after all he didn’t really have any attachments to them, but he would rather not make more enemies if that would cause trouble for the Prefect as well.

When class ended, Rollo grabbed his things and left to find the Prefect immediately, not wanting to risk a conversation with the blonde. 

He found the Prefect laughing at a heated argument between two boys about who’s fault it was that their potion took so long to work.

‘I’m telling ya it was all Juice’s fault! He kept stirring way too slow!’ The redhead boy signaled to a blue-haired one who seemed to take issue with his statement.

‘I was stirring at the right speed! You just told me to stir in the wrong direction because you never read the instructions Ace!’ Rollo realized then that these must be the Prefect’s friends, Ace and… Juice? He couldn’t quite remember what his name was but he felt somewhat certain that it wasn’t Juice, maybe it was a nickname? The people of Night Rave College seem to be rather fond of those.

‘Boy ‘m I glad that I don’ have to partner up with either of them’ The Felmier boy said crossing his arms behind his head. The Prefect nodded in agreement and then noticed him standing there, awkwardly.

‘Rollo! Do you need help getting to your next class?’ The Prefect’s voice cut the chatter and at once all eyes were on him. The air grew tense once the boys realized he was here.

Ace and Deuce exchanged looks while Epel took a step in front of the Prefect. They all looked ready to fight, he better diffuse the situation before something bad happens to them ‘I didn’t mean to interrupt but I do not know where the classroom for my’ He checked his schedule ‘“Ancient Curses” class is located’ 

‘Oh, Leona and Rook have the same schedule I think, come on I know where it is’ They tried to tell their friends to go ahead to class without them but the trio refused, claiming that they wanted to keep talking. Rollo knew they were keeping an eye on him.

Good, at least they cared for their friend.

Once the second class was over, the bell rang and Rollo made his way to the cafeteria as per the Prefect’s instructions. He should thank them, their instructions were very clear and succinct so he could remember them easily.

As he entered the cafeteria, he started looking around for the Prefect, not wanting to share a table with some unknown person or worse, a known person. 

After scanning the place for a couple of minutes, he saw them enter the cafeteria with several friends from the other side and took long strides to reach them before they picked a table. With any luck, they could sit by a window in a far away corner.

‘Rollo! Good to see you didn’t get lost, I was a bit worried my instructions were confusing’ The Prefect scratched the back of their head and their friend, Ace, imitated them in a mocking manner. A big muscular boy rolled his eyes at his antics and the other boy, Zigvolt, ignored them both in favor of staring at him.

‘Not at all, in fact your instructions were clear enough that I got here earlier than my classmates’ He motioned for them to sit on a nearby table, away from the others and the group of freshmen complied without fuss though still with some tension in the air.

As Rollo sat beside the Prefect, the other boys picked their places around the table. Spade, Felmier and Zigvolt sat together across from him while the wolfman and Ace sat on the other side of the Prefect. Grim took the Prefect’s lap as expected.

‘We better get some food, yo Prefect, come with me Juice is too prone to mess up the orders with his indecision’ Ace grabbed the Prefect by the arm and forced them to go along before they could even answer.

Sitting in front of him, Juice? Spade muttered ‘That happened once’ in an annoyed voice. 

Rollo had known these kids for all of ten minutes combined and already he could gather what their group dynamic was. 

‘So…how’re you liking your classes? I hear you had professor Trein for first period’ Spade made the first move and Rollo was thankful he chose such a neutral subject.

‘It was quite enriching. Professor Trein has vast knowledge and a commanding presence so paying attention to him was no problem’ Both Spade and Felmier looked at him like he had grown two heads, well that couldn’t be good ‘Did I say something wrong?’

The question seemed to awaken them as Felmier spoke up ‘Ah no it’s just- normally people complain that Trein’s classes are boring but they can’t sleep through them because he likes calling out misbehaving students. I suppose we shouldn't be too surprised though, you seem like the studious type’ While Rollo took it as a compliment, he felt slightly offended by the arrogant smile the boy was giving him.

‘Really it’s just them, most people go to class hoping to learn but these two and Ace like to cause trouble, so take whatever they say about the professors with a grain of salt’ The wolfman spoke so suddenly Rollo had almost forgotten he was there since unlike Zigvolt he wasn’t staring at him like he wanted to murder him.

‘Wha- Jack, that’s not true! We pay attention to class, it’s just hard because Trein speaks very slowly and Lucius makes so much noise too it makes it hard to pay attention’ Spade clearly didn’t like being called unattentive by his friend, meanwhile Felmier added in ‘And we aren’t as troublesome as Ace! If anything, you’re talking about Grim! Those two are the real troublemakers of this group’ He seemed to fully stand by his words with how he puffed out his chest.

He deflated as soon as he noticed Ace had returned with the trays of food and was threatening to not give him his unless he apologized for blaming him for their shenanigans.

‘I don’t cause trouble! It’s you two and Grim who can’t keep up with me and my awesome ideas! If you did, then all my plans would work just fine and nobody’d get in trouble’ 

Naturally the boys began arguing on whether he was right or wrong, with Felmier and Spade mostly defending that he was the major contributor to the chaos amongst them ‘And what do you mean we can’t keep up?! We got our Unique Magic before you, if anything it’s you who can’t keep up at all!’ They kept arguing for a little longer until the Prefect finally spoke ‘GUYS!’ They all looked baffled at them ‘Please quiet down, we’re gonna get in trouble and I really want to make Rollo’s first day here better than mine’ They gave Spade and Ace a look which made them blush brightly as they stuttered shut. 

Once Felmier and Spade relented, Ace plopped down next to the Prefect and gave him a curious look ‘Say, I heard from Juice and the others that you were a big deal back in your old school, so how come you didn’t enroll here to begin with?’ His bluntness was surprisingly refreshing after all the strange looks and veiled intentions he had gotten so far.

‘I chose Noble Bell College because of its history. While you all may be proud to be students here, I was proud to be there. The City of Flowers is- was my home, and I was honored to be accepted there. I can only guess it was that disposition that made me ineligible for Night Raven College since the election process is a mystery to all but the Headmage’ Rollo started slicing the steak the Prefect had gotten for him and noticed the rest of the table’s attention was still on him so he tried to say something else so they would go back to their conversations ‘Also I wasn’t a big deal, anyone can become the student council president with enough dedication since the position is for those willing to be responsible and dutiful to the school and its students’ To his dismay, his words had the opposite effect.

‘That’s right! You were the student council president! So that means you probably were an honors student, right? Can you tell me about that? I want to be an honors student myself’ Spade raised his fist in determination and Rollo didn’t know how to answer. He just wanted to eat his steak in silence and pretend he was back at the belltower.

He looked at Spade, trying to figure if he was being polite in asking more things or if he was honest in his goals. Feeling the rest of the boys awaiting for his answer, he spoke ‘Um…well…uh…studying is the hard part I suppose, but if you can pay attention during class then reviewing your notes becomes much easier’ Both Spade and Felmier scooted a bit closer to hear him better in the growing noise of the cafeteria.

‘Some people will tell you to highlight the important information but that’s futile if you think everything is important. Instead you should rewrite your notes in a way you understand and then make a brief summary of the things you struggle to understand so you can ask your classmates or teachers about it’ The way he launched into his helpful senior student self was like a switch had been flipped, so used he was to aiding his own classmates with their studies and questions. 

By the time the cafeteria was clearing out a bit, Epel, Deuce and even Sebek were happily telling him about some of their own tips for studying their favorite subjects. Ace looked at the Prefect confused while they simply shrugged and kept cutting pieces of their meal before Grim swallowed their unattended tray.

As it was, lunch would have been perfect if those were the only noteworthy events of the evening, but of course the animated table was interrupted by someone joining out of nowhere.

‘Roi du Mouchoir! I am so glad to finally find you! And with Monsieur Pommette of all people!’ Rook Hunt was standing right behind the Prefect, looking at him with a big smile and an unsaid threat in his eyes. At once Rollo felt his temperature drop but remained impassive as the Prefect welcomed the blonde to join them on the table.

‘Why were you looking for Rollo, Rook?’ Epel asked in between bites of his steak. Hunt sat beside him and praised his poise while eating, much to the boy’s dismay or was it embarrassment?

‘Oh I simply wanted to talk, see I noticed him during our history of magic class and tried to approach him when it ended but he left so fast I couldn’t catch up’ He gave a small pout that fooled absolutely no one here, they all knew if he wanted to catch someone like Rollo he was perfectly capable of doing so even if he disappeared from his sight. 

‘I needed the Prefect to help me with something. At any rate, whatever you wanted to talk about, I hope you don’t mind the Prefect and their friends listening now’ Rollo wasn’t sure what to expect from this boy. On the one hand he was clearly well trained and powerful enough to be a vice housewarden, on the other hand he seemed to be friendly back when they first met and now too the Prefect wasn’t giving any indication that they worried about this interaction. Maybe he was just assessing him?

‘Oh! Just wanted to see how you are adapting to the school, I know when I transferred from Savanaclaw to Pomefiore I experienced such a noticeable change in atmosphere and that was within the same school, I can only imagine how different things are here compared to Noble Bell College’ Rollo was right, he was assessing him. Hunt kept looking at him with a friendly face but he could feel the faintest aura of danger emanating from the eccentric boy. 

‘So far everything is good, professor Trein gave a wonderful class and I think I learned quite a bit in Ancient Curses. The students haven’t given me any trouble either…yet, and I hope it remains that way. I have no desire to make enemies nor cause any problems for the Prefect with my issues’ The Prefect tried to say that it was no problem but everybody at the table silenced them by saying some form of ‘You already have enough on your plate’. Heh, it was cute how they all cared so aggressively for each other.

Rollo and Hunt maintained eye contact, unblinking. But unlike with the Prefect that morning, this wasn’t lighthearted, oh no, this was a test. Rollo couldn’t look away or Hunt would think him suspicious or insincere. They kept staring without saying a word until the freshmen realized what was going on.

‘Rook…I think you should leave this to us’ Felmier spoke softly to his dormmate ‘We actually have been talking to Rollo and…um I think he’s alright. Even Sebek has been giving him a chance and we’ve learned some neat things from him. So please don’t be so hard on him, let’s give him a chance to show us how he’s changed’ His words made Hunt look at him in surprise.

‘Oh Monsieur Pommette! Your words are so full of kindness and wisdom! I am so proud of you and I’m sure fair Vil will be as well!’ His laughter made the boy blush with a queasy smile, probably happy to make his senior proud ‘Very well, I will leave you alone for now, but Roi du Mouchoir’ Rollo was getting dizzy from all these sudden mood changes, so he just looked at Hunt with a raised brow ‘Please, do talk to me in class, I will be more than glad to partner up with you in any group projects’ Once again Rollo felt a vague threat emanating from the blonde’s high yet dry tone. Was everybody at this school so weird? 

The last period confirmed that indeed, everyone at this school was very weird.

They were to have lab class with the students from class E, which on paper seemed alright, more students meant he was less likely to be paired with Hunt. But then he was actually paired with Trey Clover and all his hopes of having any semblance of a quiet, normal school year went out the window.

At first he introduced himself politely, shaking his hand and welcoming him to Night Raven College, and Rollo felt nothing wrong with this. His attention at first had been grabbed by the intense staring he felt from somewhere in the room.

He turned around to find Hunt working happily with some student from…Octavinelle? So he kept searching but the presence disappeared. Strange.

‘Are you alright? If you need to see the nurse I can take you’ Clover seemed reliable enough so Rollo apologized and got to work on the potion as per the chalkboard’s instructions.

While they worked, Trey made polite conversation to get to know him better. It felt utterly fake, like he would rather be partnered with anyone else but him, but Rollo understood the feeling so he didn’t hold it against him. 

Then he felt it again. That stare. He turned around and saw nothing out of the ordinary, but he could still feel the hairs on the back of his neck standing. Who was staring at him so intently?

He must have said it out loud because Clover actually answered ‘Sometimes Lilia likes staring at people, I swear he can be even sneakier than Rook’ Lilia? As in Lilia Vanrouge, the vice housewarden of Malleus Draconia? Well, that would explain two things. 

‘I see, he must not be happy having me here after what happened’ Rollo still wasn’t sure how much people knew about his actions but he would rather play it safe, no use in exposing himself like that on his first day.

‘Don’t be silly, I am very happy I can meet the boy who helped my boys grow a stronger bond’ When did he get here?! Rollo jumped back with the spoon on his hands, completely startled by the short boy standing upside down beside him.

‘Lilia please don’t do that, he could’ve ruined our potion and this mixture is very volatile’ Clover’s chiding tone was very gentle, like a parent explaining to a toddler why they can’t bite something dangerous. How could someone so normal handle such bizarre situations so easily? Was this just a side effect of studying here, developing mechanisms to deal with the strange?

‘Kee hee, sorry Trey. I just wanted to see the new student Malleus spoke so passionately about. He had a lot of opinions about you transferring here you know’ Of that Rollo had no doubt, but so far he had managed to avoid Draconia and he hoped he would keep it that way for the next few days or weeks if he could ‘But don’t worry, the Prefect made him promise he’d be nice so long as you’re nice’ The boy disappeared and reappeared beside him, standing on the ground this time.

He was handing him his hand to shake, Rollo took it tentatively. ‘Oh ho, don’t be so shy now. I feel like we know each other so well already! Me with all these stories I hear about your doings during the symposium and you with all the hits you took from my boys~ Oh and the singing! I hope you liked the song. I showed it to Malleus so they could sing it as a present’ His smile was childish but his voice and demeanor betrayed his experience. Rollo wasn’t sure where Night Raven got all these walking contradictions but he supposed the Headmage must have a knack for selecting students similar to himself in that regard. 

Rollo was half tempted to retort something smart back to the odd little man but just as quickly as he had come, he went back to his station. Sigh he better focus on the potion before it explodes. He really doesn’t want to get detention on his first day here, the day has been exhausting as is.

He followed Clover’s advice for a while until he noticed the potion changed color, it shouldn’t do that yet. He checked the ingredients they had added and sure enough, they had added a couple in the wrong order. Nothing too terrible for this potion but precision was important in alchemy for a reason: plenty of potions did change drastically if the ingredients weren't added in a certain order. 

He was about to signal to Clover to come over so they would start stirring slower to account for this change when he saw the ghost of a smug smile on his face. Was this another test? Why was he smiling like that? Did he do something wrong or right? Rollo felt a headache incoming from all the overthinking he had done today. Class couldn’t be over soon enough.

‘Ah, Clover we are ready to start stirring, although we seem to have added some ingredients in the wrong order, so we should start slowly to account for that lest the potion explodes’ Clover’s eyes crinkled happily and Rollo knew then that indeed, this was a test. Great. Even the normal students had something suspicious about them. Now he almost feels offended at the Headmage saying he’d fit right in.

They finished the potion without fuss and the professor acknowledged their clean work, allowing them to leave early so long as they cleaned their space. With the practiced hand he acquired from helping maintain the school grounds and the belltower in Noble Bell, Rollo was done in a few moments. Clover didn’t have time to be impressed as just a second later, Rollo left for Ramshackle.

He needed a quick bite, a shower and to sleep for a thousand nights.

Once again night came and with it Rollo’s ugly thoughts came chasing him in his dreams. He couldn’t run fast enough, he couldn’t leap far enough. No matter what he did, there was no way of reaching his brother.

The flames engulfed everything, from the floor to the ceiling. Rollo tried to crawl through them, he knew he could he just had to use his Unique Magic. ‘Crimson flower, scorch my soul-’ It was futile, he couldn't feel the well of magic within. He was empty, completely devoid of magic. 

There was no way to save him. But he had to try. Rollo kept crawling closer, the flames growing hotter every second. Soon he would feel the same pain his brother felt, at least this time he wouldn't abandon him.

‘ROLLO!’ He was jerked awake by the warm hand of the Prefect. Rollo looked at them perplexed, it was a dream? He scrubbed the sleep from his eyes and with it the tears that had fallen in his sleep. Oh. He must have made the Prefect worry if they could tell he was having a nightmare.

‘I’m sorry for waking you, Prefect. Please don’t worry about me, you should go back to sleep’ He tried to sound convincing but his voice had that tremor it did whenever he was about to panic. The Prefect sat by the end of his bed hesitatingly, afraid they may be imposing.

‘When I told you I was here for you, I meant it, not just for the academic stuff’ Their voice was soft and quiet but carried so much weight in the silent space between them he felt compelled to scoot closer. ‘If there’s anything you need to talk about, chances are I can help you…I’ve been through my fair share of bad times myself…’ They left him a choice. He could run like he had done for these past few months- no, for the better part of his life since his brother died. Or he could confide in the Prefect 

‘There's always someone who cares’ The gargoyle’s resigned voice rang behind his head.

‘Maybe we would manage to reach out to you... it seems you’re not ready yet Rollo’ Yeshua and Tristan whispered at each side of him, eyes pleading for an opening.

‘It’s not your brother or the world you want to save...it’s just yourself’ Idia Shroud’s voice echoed loudest, dispassionate yet truthful, heavy with the sentence of someone who understands far better than anyone should be able to. 

‘I just- I don’t know what’s happening to me’ For the first time in forever, Rollo allowed himself to be vulnerable without putting up a fight. All these years he had built his carefully placed walls, hoping to keep the pain outside. Instead all he had done was lock himself in with all of it and no way to ask for help. It was time to stop.

The Prefect cradled him on their chest carefully, rubbing his back in soothing circles and whispering reassurances that he could speak whenever he felt ready. He was crying uncontrollably and he hadn’t even noticed until he felt the dampened shirt of his dormmate. 

They stayed like that for what felt like hours until Rollo could not cry anymore. He felt lighter if a bit embarrassed. Sniffing, he pulled back and looked at them with a thankful nod. He needed a second to recollect himself.

‘.........I feel guilty that I couldn’t save my brother. I was the older brother and it was my duty to protect him……if only I had gotten my magic sooner-’ ‘Don’t do that’ The interruption took him by surprise ‘Blaming yourself like that, that’s a sure way of driving yourself crazy’ They grabbed his hand and made him stand up. 

Near the window, Rollo saw the dim light of the moon ‘We can’t change what’s in the past, but we can choose how those events affect us into the future…how we remember the people we lost’ Their hand squeezed his reassuringly when it trembled ‘You have to decide: do you want to remember him as he was on his last moments? Scared and in pain? Or as he was the rest of the time? As the person you loved so dearly?’ Their words sounded so much like Shroud’s, not just in what they meant but in how their voice had this faint tremor, some barely contained emotion. The Prefect knew what he was feeling, they had lost someone too. Slowly he turned his head to look at them and sure enough they were crying too now.

What a sight they must be, two newly dormmates crying in a dark room in the earliest hours of a saturday morning. Instinctively he draped his arms around their shoulders and pulled them against his chest like they had done earlier, tucking their head under his chin. ‘Thank you’ His breathing was calm, the calmest it had been since the symposium. Equally the Prefect’s breathing slowed down until it evened out completely. Rollo looked down to see them dozing off.

He held his chuckle and brought them to his bed. He tucked them in and sat next to them on top of the covers, waiting for sleep to claim him.

Come morning he would wake up to the Prefect hugging him like a stuffed bear and Grim complaining about him stealing his minion, but for now he enjoyed a good night’s sleep before the chaos of another day at Night Raven College.

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It was nearing the end of Rollo’s first week on Ramshackle and things admittedly seemed far better than he expected at first. In just these few days he had ‘squirmed his way in’ into the Prefect’s friend group (according to Ace) by inadvertently joining them on their shenanigans, he got to assist the Prefect in cooking during the weekend and enjoyed exploring the grounds along with the freshmen. He even got to work with Hunt for a class project which gave them great results. All in all, his week had been full of excitement.

Yes, some students had been naturally suspicious of him upon meeting him (the housewardens in particular had been prone to interrupting his time with the Prefect for the most random reasons), but he supposed those feelings came from the retellings of what happened during the symposium. And even if they didn’t know, he couldn’t exactly blame them, what with how unapproachable he seemed (or so the Prefect told him on a few occasions) and the strangeness of his transfer. 

There was the difficulty of how different the schools were, for sure. Noble Bell was full of tradition, with the students following it dutifully and gladly, while Night Raven College was more…innovative. There was tradition as well, certainly but in general the students seemed eager to break the mold and stand out in their uniqueness. Rollo wasn’t used to that.

But in all, his assessment of the school was positive. Maybe Headmage Tirmont had been right in sending him here.

These thoughts occupied his mind as he tossed and turned around on his bed. The clock of his room indicated the hour to be 2 AM. He turned around on his bed again and tried to close his eyes, to force himself to sleep but no matter how long he kept them shut, it didn’t work. For some reason tonight he couldn’t drift into unconsciousness. He blamed the heat wave and the dorm’s poor insulation.

Deciding to not waste his time getting annoyed at his lack of sleep, and fearing another bout of anxiety if he remained stirring in his thoughts, he got up and wandered out to go grab a glass of water. Maybe that would cool him enough to get some restless sleep at least.

Walking on the hallway to the first floor, he noticed a faint light coming from one of the unused rooms. Odd. 

Curiosity piqued, he grabbed the knob and silently opened the door. While he expected the ghosts to be doing something here, he was instead met by the Prefect, shrimp-pajamas covered by a white coat, painting on a big canvas. Far bigger than the one in their room.

They hadn’t noticed him yet, so he debated for a second whether to let them be or approach and inquire about the unknown flower in the canvas. He took a look at the Prefect’s hands stained in purplish-blue and white paint, their clothes equally colorful and a second later he caught the sound of humming. A song. 

As it was more and more common for him, Rollo felt like in a trance as he walked closer until the Prefect noticed his presence.

‘Oh! I’m sorry, did I wake you?’ Ever caring, they were more worried about his comfort than their own. How cute. 

Rollo didn’t reply, instead bringing a thumb to their cheek and smearing some of the purplish-blue paint on it as he tried to clean them. Their eyes widened while his intense stare remained on their face and from this close he could notice so much more about his dormmate than he had in the days prior. The way their breath caught making the smallest gasping sound, the way their mouth opened just a little bit as if unsure of what to say, the way their face heated up to the tip of their ears.

Wait what

‘Prefect, you’re warm. Are you alright?’ That seemed to raise their temperature even more, to the point where he placed his hand on their forehead to make sure they didn’t have a fever. The Prefect squealed and quickly turned around. ‘I’m fine! I’m fine! Just forgot to open the windows!’ Rollo looked around the room and noticed that indeed the windows were closed and with how hot it was tonight, that just wouldn’t do. 

He gave them some space while he went to open the two windows in the room before returning his attention to the Prefect.

‘What is the name of the song you were humming? If I may ask. It didn’t sound familiar’ Rollo had learned in these past few days that while the Prefect could make people open up surprisingly easily, they themselves didn’t share much about their own life. Probably to avoid growing nostalgic for their home, so he didn’t know exactly what the boundaries were for asking personal questions yet. He still felt as if the moment they shared the other night had been a dream, knowing something about them that no one else knew made him feel special.

‘Uh, it's a song from a movie I used to watch, the song is called “my favorite things”, it was very popular to sing it for kids on certain holidays’ They eyed their supplies searching for something or maybe deciding how to proceed with the painting. Rollo didn’t know too much about painting, but he knew this one was coming out beautiful. 

Once they picked a smaller brush and dipped it in paint, Rollo walked closer trying to see if he could recognize the flowers from this distance. He couldn’t.

‘Are those flowers from your world too?’ His voice came out soft and subdued, barely hearable but they answered anyways ‘Oh yeah, they’re called jacarandas. I haven’t seen any of them here, even in the books from the library, so I figured maybe they don’t exist here? So I chose to paint them before I forget what they looked like. What do you think?’ Their voice was happy on the surface but Rollo detected something under that, a tinge of sadness that stroke his heart.

‘I think they are beautiful’ His eyes traced every line, every petal and trunk and came to the conclusion that, if the Prefect’s painting was a fraction of accurate to the real thing then the flowers must be a sight to behold. 

‘I think so too, there are some in pink and white that also are very pretty but I prefer these purple ones’ Their smile grew just the littlest bit and Rollo could tell that the sadness was subsiding. Good, Rollo wasn’t opposed to consoling the Prefect but he much rather preferred to make sure they don’t cry to begin with.

‘Anyways, I’m sorry I woke you up Rollo, I didn’t think my humming and painting would make that much noise. I guess since Grim is such a heavy sleeper and the ghosts have never mentioned this, I assumed I was in the clear’ Rollo saw them clean the brushes as if to finish painting for the night. He didn’t know why but he wanted to keep watching, to keep talking about their world and bask in this quiet moment of intimacy and trust just between the two of them.

‘Please don’t stop on my behalf. I couldn’t sleep on account of my room being so hot so I wandered here for a glass of water. In fact, I am sorry for intruding on you like this’ The Prefect stopped their movements and looked at him, a little taken aback by his apology. They let out a snort that confused Rollo. Usually that reaction was directed at Grim or the freshmen.

‘Oh don’t worry about it, if I wanted to keep my painting private I would’ve locked the door. But it’s good to know I didn’t wake you’ They smiled again, their hand hovering over the brushes hesitantly. Rollo wondered if he could make them smile again. ‘Do you mind if I keep painting then? You don’t have to stay-’

‘I would love to’ Soon as he realized how fast he spoke, his face grew red with embarrassment while the Prefect tried, and failed, to suppress their laughter. Well, it's good to know that his embarrassment can make them smile at least, not that he hadn’t realized that by now with how thoroughly Ace and Epel liked to tease him.

‘Would you consider teaching me how to paint, Prefect?’ Rollo’s question clearly took them by surprise seeing how they almost dropped their brush and did a double take. ‘I have seen some of the paintings in your room, sceneries and people I don’t recognize, I presume they are from your world’ They nodded their head, still looking at him shocked ‘I would like to try that…to paint my home so that I may keep it with me’ 

The Prefect gave him a look of understanding, they both looked to the floor in thought. They both missed home, and while Rollo knew that he could go back one day, the reality was that neither knew what tomorrow would bring. Crowley may never find a way back home for the Prefect, Rollo may die before he sets foot on the City of Flowers again…  

Before any dark thoughts took over their minds, the Prefect spoke again ‘I myself am not the greatest artist out there, but if that’s alright with you then I’d love to teach you what I know’ 

Rollo smiled genuinely at them and they returned it twice as bright. 

The Prefect kept painting and making idle chat for a few more minutes until they came to a relaxing silence. It was nice, having a moment of quiet not be interrupted by talking cats, loud freshmen or paranoid housewardens. Rollo allowed himself to enjoy the moment like he had began to enjoy his stay at Night Raven, remembering how even in Noble Bell he often felt something else under the happiness or relaxation, always some underlying anger at the magic around him, some hatred for his classmates’ carefree use of magic, guilt at himself for depending on it just the littlest bit, always something to rot those memories.

Now, standing here with the Prefect, all he could feel was calm and happy. Sure he missed his home, he missed his family and he missed his classmates, but the Prefect had made such an effort to make him feel welcome here, and even their noisy friends were doing their best to include him in their shenanigans, much to his despair.

In the quiet of the night, accompanied only by the sound of the brush against the canvas and each other’s breathing, Rollo realized that they could choose to make home here. The Prefect had made a family with Grim, the ghosts and the freshmen, always making each other laugh, studying together, causing problems for each other and then trying to solve them as a team… Rollo felt like maybe, just maybe, he could also join that little family. He wanted to have a family again. 

He opened his mouth to say as much when the ghosts decided now was the perfect time to annoy them ‘Ohhhh look at this~ Rollo and the Prefect are having a little night date~’ ‘Oh ho ho Rollo~ and here I thought you were a gentleman, how scandalous!’ ‘You better treat them right, Rollo. Or we will haunt you every night until you graduate hehehe’ The Prefect and Rollo looked at each other, faces flushed from their teasing, and upon realizing how close they were they jumped apart several meters.

‘Awww look at how red they are! We were just trying to tease you but maybe we’re right, hmm? Do you have something to tell us Rollo? Hee hee hee’ As the ghosts flew around them, making more teasing comments, Rollo covered his face with his hand and the Prefect grabbed his other hand to drag him back to the dorms. Once there, they let go and gave him one last look, still flushed, and wished him a good night with a peck on the cheek.

Rollo, stunned from the affection, remained there completely unmoving even as the ghosts came back to tease him some more and made joking threats of telling about this to the freshmen, who would no doubt tease him about it too.

Needless to say, he was in no way getting any sleep soon, but at least now he knew. Transferring to Night Raven College, to Ramshackle Dorm, was the best decision Headmage Tirmont could have made for him.

[nodinoah]

april fool's . ot7

★ pairing: ex!ot7 x reader ★ summary: happy april fools, heres a collection of how i think each bangtan member would react if you tried to play a prank on them pretending that you didn't break up. ★ author's note: haven't written in so long this felt … weird. also, idk writing bts reactions in the year of 2024 felt weird too, but i feel like this falls directly into lines with the spirit of april fool's day, being an absolute fucking clown🤡. happy holiday!

KIM SEOKJIN

You and Seokjin had broken up on good terms and it's only been a few weeks and you thought it would be funny to mess with him a little so you came up with a plan. You greet him all lovingly, hand him the coffee you stopped to grab on the way to work. Give him a peck on the cheek saying "Good morning Handsome” And he's confused for like 10 seconds. You can see the genuine confusion on his face but then he sees the tugging at the edge of your lips and oh. He gets it. And it's on, like this is a competition now and he's not losing.

You're getting gaslit right the fuck back, if you thought for even a moment this man wasn't going to match your energy you're wrong. Like you're gonna end the day going home with him, he's gonna make dinner and wine and dine the fuck out of you and now your little april fools joke has ended with the two of you are back together (or friends with benefits at the least).

MIN YOONGI

No. Is not entertaining it. In the slightest.

Like as soon as you hit him up with the Hi baby, and trying to be all cute and lovey you get 5 minutes of genuine confusion before he's just giving you a “Oh really?? This is what we're doing?” expression.

You absolutely will end up apologizing.

JUNG HOSEOK

Goes along with it but because he's very confused and like lowkey concerned — is this acute amnesia? Like especially when he's like "??? we broke up???” and you're like haha what're you talking about silly like full out gaslighting this man into thinking the relationship is still completely the same. And he will just be concerned. Looking at everyone else like this is weird right like this isn't just me this is fucking weird right?

KIM NAMJOON

part two of people you will end up apologizing to. You're getting that jaw clench from Namjoon.

Like as soon as this little game starts he's pissed. like this is not funny to him in the slightest. You're getting a lecture about how it's not fucking funny to play with people's emotions and you're gonna end up feeling very guilty and will be apologizing, profusely.

PARK JIMIN

For Jimin I feel like it depends on how soon it's been since the break up and why you broke up — like if it's wasn't that serious oh it's gonna be Jin 2.0. Congrats you're back together because you're playing psychological chicken and neither of you are backing down. However if it was a serious/hard break up, and you're now just friends again — no, it's no. Consider yourself unfriended 🤍

KIM TAEHYUNG

he would be the one to prank you with acting like you didn't break up. mutual agreement you're both just now in a relationship again, neither of you know how this happened but you both got the same fuck ass idea. congrats you're made for each other. 🤍

JEON JUNGKOOK

a mistake you will never make again, he's gonna be a little pouty and annoyed at first and then it's gonna turn into “ahh jagiya remember how you said you were gonna make my favorite for dinner tonight?” and using his big bambi eyes for evil and getting everything he wants.

[blackberrysummerblog]

An ask game for writers to procrastinate working on your WIP(s)

Hey all! Thanks so much for tagging me @wellbelesbian, @aristocratic-otter, @valeffelees, @you-remind-me-of-the-babe, @ivelovedhimthroughworse and @iamamythologicalcreature! You’ve all correctly determined that I am procrastinating writing.

1. 🐬Tell us the name of your/ one of your WIP(s)

I actually don’t have any that are named at this point. Titles and tags are really difficult for me and I put both off to the last minute and second-guess myself into hell

2. 🍄Decriscribe your wip/one of your wips in the format of “___ + ___=___”

Popular movie retelling + flying goats = Baz and Dev have A Spot of Bother

3. 🌍What tags or warnings will your / one of your wip(s) need if you intend to share it?

Wraaaugugh, see #1 :P. I don’t know, in seriousness, I think the WIP mentioned above will end up getting a tag for sexual harassment or something like that given the nature of one necessary scene in the movie it’s based on. It’s not going to be worse than the source material, which is PG-13

4. 🧭An alternative title to your/ one of your WIP(s)?

Oh, to have so many ideas for titles that there’s ever an alternative lying around to spare :(

5. ⚠️Which wip your most likely to finish or update next?

I’m pretty likely to finish a sequel to Field Trip of Dreams (SEE WHAT I MEAN about titles?) this week. The eighth years are off on another field trip—this time it’s a weekend training excursion with the Mage. Baz and Simon have been dating for the short time that’s passed since FToD, but they manage to get in a fight on the bus trip to Scafell Pike, and when it turns into a sort-of-tussle the Mage mistakes it for actual animosity and sends them off to a secluded cabin to bang (I mean work🙄) it out. Absolutely everybody but Davy—including the other teachers—knows exactly how much of a “punishment” this is

6. 💾 What is your document of your wip/ a wip called? (not the stories actual title but what you've saved it as)

Practical magic au

7. 🖍️Post Any sentence from your wip

“Shut up, Gareth!” we shout as one, Snow adding a few brutish threats as Gareth pales and turns back around in his seat.

8. ♻️A scrapped idea for your current WIP

I actually can’t remember. I don’t plot my writing out very extensively so in a sense there’s hundreds of little scrapped thoughts rather than anything huge. I’m eliminating a lot of things with my crucible marriage fic, but it’s hard to say right now what’s actually gone or just being moved around. I know a major one I’ve been battling with is that prior to getting dragged off to Pitch Manor by his new husband Baz, I want Simon to have been living with Penny in a flat of their own, but for another aspect of the story I want him to have been living with the Mage in Watford (which is an au mage’s settlement in the fic) as well. There’s ways to work around it for the results I want, I just haven’t written it out yet.

9. 🤔What's a story you'd love to write but haven't even started yet?

I’m pretty sure I have at least a few lines written down for everything I want to write

10. 🤡How many Wips are you actively working on?

Oh, man…actively, probably the field trip one and my COBB. Somewhat less actively: a reverse COBB fic, a sequel to Monsters Under the Bed, a sequel to After Hours where Simon makes good on his promise to despoil Baz on his office desk, and my unending crucible marriage fic. Less active than that: a fic response to a prompt for Simon being the one kidnapped and Baz has to rescue him. There’s probably (cough*definitely*cough) some pretty messed-up OOC smut stuff lying around in my docs as well, that I add to when I’m in the mood and have zero plans to ever post

11. 🛠️Is there a scene or anything in the WIP you are struggling with right now?

I keep telling myself to just write and stop worrying about this for the moment, but I’m kind of bumming myself out worrying about whether I want to use first or third person, as well as past or present tense, for my COBB. I think the issue is that some scenes are bound to play out better one way while others would be better served differently. This is not usually a thing I struggle with.

12. ❤️Not a question, just a second kudos to send.

🥰

This was fun! (Once I stopped putting it off, lol). No pressure tagging (and sorry if I get anyone who’s already done it): @cutestkilla, @mooncello, @artsyunderstudy, @prettygoododds, @drowninginships, @hushed-chorus, @bookish-bogwitch, @thewholelemon, @brilla-brilla-estrellita, @youarenevertooold, @ileadacharmedlife, @facewithoutheart, @imagineacoolusername, @ic3-que3n

[rainbowsky]

hi rainbowsky, love your blog and your very articulate and sane view of things. It’s been very calming and comforting when there’s so much noise (and hate) in the world. So, thank you!

Curious your take on wyb wearing a bandana hanging from his left belt hook, at the Shu Uemura event today. And not a designer bandana, like the Chanel one he had on his backpack on recent trip to Japan.

I immediately thought of 1970s San Francisco gay culture, men would signal their orientation by hanging them from left side, right side, back pocket (L/R). Not thinking too much about color significance since red is Shu Uemura’s brand color. I don’t know anything about the new ad campaign he’s doing with them, but 1970 and 1971 were on 2 posters behind where he was seated.

It just flashed on me so I’d thought I’d ask. 🧐 🤡

Hi Hellopedey! Thanks, I'm glad you're enjoying my blog! 😊

Inquiring minds want to know: is DD trying to signal to the world that he wants to stick his fist up their ass for Shu Uemura?

You aren't the only person to take note of this. I've seen people mentioning hanky code in the tags of reblogs of my post of the photos from that event, and I've seen people talking about it on Twitter, too. It's become quite a topic since the event.

This is a question that has come up a few times in the past, but alas - it's often impossible to find old posts on Tumblr, so rather than being able to point to my previous post about it I will just re-answer.

Fake, fan fiction, CPN.

Long story short: I don't believe for one hot second that DD is using hanky code. There are a lot of reasons I feel this way, and I'll get to that in a minute, but the number one thing I want to bring home for people is that:

Everyone is allowed to wear hankies without assumptions being made about their sexual activity/preferences.

Including you, Hellopedey, and every other reader. Maybe that's not as much of a relief to some readers as it would be to those who happen to be queer and heavily sexualized by others, but it should take a load off some minds. 😅

You know that old saying, "Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar*?" Well, sometimes a hanky is just a hanky. I'd go so far as to say that a hanky is almost always just a hanky. Even if worn by a gay man.

*Incorrectly attributed to Freud, the origin of that quote is actually unknown.

Here are just a few reasons it's obvious to me DD isn't signalling (and I can't believe I have to say this, because it seems obvious to me):

Location, location, location. Please remember that hanky code is used when people are looking for sex. DD is at a brand event. He's not looking for sex.

His outfit is likely put together by a stylist, and that stylist is unlikely to be trying to hook him up with people for sex.

Hanky code isn't much of a Thing with young people these days. There's no need for it, since now all anyone needs to do to hook up with someone based on preferences is tick off a few boxes on Grindr or other apps (even in China).

Hanky code is pretty Western-centric. It's unclear whether it's even used in China.

As was discussed in the notes, bandanas are popular in hip hop fashion and in other fashion styles DD often wears.

Hankies are a very widely/wildly popular fashion accessory worn by people from all walks of life. Both GG and DD have worn hankies a lot, including for their fabulous Happy Camp dance, and in this context, it really is just a fashion accessory.

I'm going to say this as gently as possible, because I get it that people are just being clueless and oblivious, and that they don't intend to offend, but it really tweaks something in me as a gay person that so many fans are casually willing to make the assumption that DD is sexually signalling at work.

This goes back to the whole oversexualization in the fandom thing that I often lament.

I think fans - especially turtles - get so used to scrutinizing everything for signs and signals of GG and DD's sexual and romantic proclivities that common sense and GGDD's basic humanity are often overlooked. Fans could also stand to do a bit more to reflect on how their behavior and attitudes might (unintentionally) come across as offensive and homophobic* to queer people.

*Not saying this is where you were coming from, Hellopedey, but I hope all fans will reflect on it.

Please read this post for more info on that, because it's important.

PS] For those looking for something salacious about GG and DD, how about checking out the lyrics for the song they danced together to on Happy Camp? That's a pretty racy song for a couple of 'straight' guys to be dancing together to. 😅

[emimayooo]

Emi in Japan (2024) – May 30th to June 5th

(Link to Day 1) (Link to Day 2/3) (Link to Day 4) (Link to Day 5-6)

Hey guys,

Wow, it's been a hot minute since I've last journaled! I've just been soooo busy, but I've finally had some time to sit down and write.

Here are some highlights:

I finished my bachelor's degree! Next semester I'm off to post-grad because I am Not Sane! Fandom studies, here I come.

I met up with my fandom friend two more times before she goes home. The first, she came to my hometown, and the second, we went to Yokohama's Chinatown! We've had such a blast hanging out with each other IRL<3

I reunited with Tom, the love of my life. He's a five pound toy poodle who jumps like a bunny. I would die for him.

Now, onto the nitty gritty!

May 30th: Emi the Host

On Day 8, my fandom friend R visited my hometown!!! I was soooo friggin' excited that she was coming, especially since it was the first time a friend had ever visited me here.

Wearing my favourite sunhat, I went to meet her at the station. When she arrived, we walked to one of my favourite cafés, Chako. It's a loghouse with a super cute interior & exterior. Every time you go, they serve you a different tea cup. I just love it.

I had the margherita pizza and Vienna coffee (my second cup of coffee in my life!), while my friend had curry and an iced latte. It was very yum. And I paid, because in Japan, it's polite to let the host pay, because we're the one responsible for you! So let me pay, boy🫵🤡

Afterwards, we ordered bubble tea and visited the local shrine. My friend insisted on paying for a small keychain I wanted, and while I resisted, I lost the battle when she brought up the strong USD lol. I just can't resist a good bargain...

I initially wanted to take my friend to a park, but it seemed like it was going to rain, so we went back to my place. When I asked Jiji (grandpa) if he wanted to say hi, he said he was feeling too weak, so we went to the granny flat where I live without introducing them to each other.

While in the granny flat, we cooled down with the aircon on, snacked, and chatted about WIPs. My friend freaked the fuck out when I showed her my 90k draft for the longfic that made us friends LOL it was so cute and motivating. We also chatted about potentially co-writing a Sylvgrid fic together! Very exciting stuff.

While we were chatting, my grandpa came in! And he said he cooked for us motsu-ni (offal stew)! And oh my goodness it tasted so good and my friend loved it! And then he chatted with her with me as the interpretor, bragging about how handsome and cool he was in his youth. Oh Jiji XD!

I then walked my friend back to the station and waited with her until her train arrived. We said our goodbyes and promised to meet up again, which you will read about soon hehe!

June 1st: Tom, Beloved

On June 1st, I reunited with Tom the Toy Poodle. Guys, I'm in love with this dog. I want to kidnap him and take him home with me to Australia, he's just that cute! God, he's making me remember my Dog Person phase, which lasted until I ended up having my own cats. Now I love dogs, but worship cats.

Just look at him. HOW IS HE REAL???

June 2nd: And So It Ends

June 2nd was Hardcore, baby, for I worked on my last assignment for my bachelor's degree. I fought shitty weather, shitty wifi, and recorded my presentation inside the truck because the reception inside the granny flat is God Awful, but I did it. I did the damn thing. I Finished University.

But because I’m a clown I’m doing post-grad to study fandom wish me all the luck you have besties LOL🤡

For my thesis, I’m hoping to explore the cultural tensions between Eastern and Western fandom, specifically in terms of how religion has an impact on it. You know, what with antis mirroring the mindset of conservative cultural Christianity. We’ll see how I go with that!

For dinner, I went out with my mum and her two friends. I became so shy because they couldn’t stop gushing over how cute I was lol I am not kidding or bragging they just would Not Stop😅. Is this how Apple Pie feels when I smother her? Lol.

I'm starting to reach the age where my perpetual singleness is Notable. So of course, developments in my love life were inquired after. I told them I'm not that interested in romantic relationships. Which is true! My ideal life partner is a platonic one, since I'm aspec. I do have crushes, though, so I can see myself being in a romantic relationship. But I'd be perfectly happy never being romantically partnered for the rest of my life. I think I'd also be happy partnered with children. Either way, nae bother!

But yes, one of them definitely seems to have clocked that I'm surely some flavour of Queer, since she was like "so, you're not that interested in having a boyfriend–or whatever else–but it's friendship that's important to you?" and I was like "yep :D" and she was like "that's okay! you're still young after all" and I was like ":)". But we shall see how my love life, whether it be platonic or romantic, turns out.

June 3rd: It's So Flyday, Flyday, Chinatown!

On June 3rd, I met up with my fandom friend in Yokohama's Chinatown for one last meet-up! As ever, we had an absolute blast together. We explored the main road as well as the more hidden alleyways of Chinatown, until we found a cozy looking restaurant that was away from the hustle and bustle and the tourist crowd. My friend speaks some Mandarin, so it was really cool to see her talk with the waitress, haha. Now I know what my friends feel like when we go to Japanese restaurants together!

We had dim sim, this super yum fried tofu dish, and these chive pancakes. I loved it all, honestly!

After lunch, I got to pet the dogs who belonged to the people behind us. When we were eating, I kept sparing glances at the doggies lol (a dachshund and a jack russell) because omg were they so well-behaved and adorable in the dog pram. Just so so cute.

To sign off our day in Chinatown, I asked my friend to get a caricature of us drawn, which she thankfully said yes to! While I can't show you the art because, well, it looks just like us LOL, do know that it's suuuuper adorable. I have a collection of caricatures for whenever I visit a new place, but this is the first one I've had drawn with another person. I'm kinda hooked lol now I want caricatures drawn with all my loved ones.

My friend and I said our final goodbyes, since she's leaving soon. I am so, so glad I got to meet her IRL, and I'm sure we'll see each other again, whether it be in Japan, the States or Australia<3.

(Side note: My grandpa needs to go under another round of radiation therapy, so my mum will be staying in Japan until the end of the mouth, instead of the planned June 4th. While I'm sad Jiji's gotta go through it again, I'm glad mum will be around! It's been nice spending time with her, for both me and Jiji.)

June 4th: Chillin' & Catchin Up'

June 4th was chill! What with uni being over, I find myself with a lot more free time. I went into Chichibu to browse the local BOOK-OFF, a secondhand store which sells books, CDs, figures, video games, you name it, they got it. I found a Sanji figure that I thought my dear friend @homelygrantaire would like and so I bought it on his behalf, before I then sent it off to their address. I learned a lot about international shipping in Japan from that experience, which is good for me to know, since I'm sure I'll need to send stuff back because Japan is shopping paradise right now LOL.

For lunch, I had this super average savoury crepe at a Gelato place. I should've just ordered gelato lol but I wanted a proper lunch and for some reason, most places are closed on Tuesdays here. But to make up for it, I got my favourite bubble tea and tried out a bakery I'd never been to before. I chatted with the elderly owner and found out that they'd been in business for 40 years. Wowza!

Once I got home, I caught up on my belated crit letters for the Fanauthor Workshop. Thanks for your patience, guys! I loved reading all your pieces.

(Btw, writerly mutuals, you should totally sign up for the asynchronous summer session so you can join us and make soooo many friends. Applications end June 14th!)

June 4th: I...WROTE?!

And so this brings us to today! Not much happened. Mum and I went to this AMAZING Chinese restaurant that is world class quality. Seriously, the owner trained as a chef in Ginza, Tokyo's luxury district. The man knows how to cook!

Once I got home, I helped my mum and Jiji spread weed-killer lol which was a first. Then I had an afternoon nap. Night time, I realised I had free time...AND SO I WROTE!

Yes, besties, you read that right: I'm writing again! Woo!

I don't think I've written in like a month and half so it's been great getting back into it. I ended up revising my galeheart fairy tale au, which I hope to have finished sometime soon. I'm so sick of it living in my drafts, unposted, when it's so close to being done ugh. Hopefully it'll be out by the end of this month!

Thanks for reading my journal, guys. Each entry is getting longer and longer lmao but I hope you enjoy reading them, nonetheless. See you next time!

With love,

Emi xoxo

[best--dress]

An ask game for writers to procrastinate working on your WIP(s)

Thanks for tagging me on this one, @aristocratic-otter, @thewholelemon, @cutestkilla and @emeryhall! I was hoping someone would encourage me to procrastinate today <3

1. 🦈Tell us the name of your/one of your WIP(s):

I'm working on my COBB right now, and it definitely doesn't have a title yet

2. 🍄Describe your WIP/one of your WIP(s) in the format of “___ + ___ =___”

roadtrip + karaoke bar = Penelope Bunce is going to kill Simon (not my cobb!)

3. 🌍What tags or warnings will one of your WIP(s) need if you intend to share it?

eating disorders (altho I haven't written this part yet, not sure how big of a role it's going to play)

4. 🧭An alternative title to one of your WIP(s)?

nothing gets a title until the very last minute, haha

5. ⚠️Which WIP are you most likely to finish or update next?

Most likely my cobb, unless I get inspired to work on the karaoke one (it *should* be a fun little one-shot)

6. 💾What is your document of your WIP/ a WIP called? (not the stories actual title but what you’ve saved it as)

"watford [redacted] snowbaz au"

7. 🖍Post Any sentence(s) from your WIP.

Baz is right. Agatha is too good for me. This is probably like one of those high school makeover movies, but in reverse – she’s probably trying to sabotage me, and then Baz will look even better than me, in the end.

8. ♻️A scrapped idea for your current WIP.

honestly, the original concept was an erotic blood-drinking fic, but I don't think I'm going to go there after all. I just can't wrap my head around that for my baz

9. 🤔What’s a story you’d love to write but haven’t even started yet?

well, karaoke fic has two lines, so technically I've started it

10. 🤡How many WIPS are you actively working on?

really just my cobb

11. 🛠Is there a scene or anything in the WIP you are struggling with right now?

uhh...sitting down to write...writing a single scene that goes on for longer than a page...figuring out where the ending is going...

12. ❤️Not a question, just a second Kudos to send. honestly really needed that today <3

just tagging a couple people since this one is really making the rounds!: @mooncello, @facewithoutheart, @ileadacharmedlife, @iamamythologicalcreature