❛ I’m really kind of the suffer-in-silence type. ❜ / for steven from theodora
ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴡᴀsɴ'ᴛ ᴇɴᴛɪʀᴇʟʏ sʜᴏᴄᴋɪɴɢ ғᴏʀ ʜɪᴍ ᴛᴏ ʜᴇʀᴇ - perhaps he made himself believe she simply never chose him to confined in because she had shirley to bond with. a hand outstretched offering his sister a glass of bourbon as he took a seat on the deck beside her, ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴏʀʟᴅ ᴀʀᴏᴜɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇᴍ sᴇᴇᴍᴇᴅ sᴏ ǫᴜɪᴇᴛ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴇᴀᴅ ᴏғ ɴɪɢʜᴛ but something about it was so P E A C E F U L for him in the moment.
❛ aren't you a psychologist? aren't psychologist those who encourage people not to hold in emotions? ❜ his words paused as he took a sip from his glass, ʟɪᴘs ᴘᴜʀsɪɴɢ ᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ɪɴɪᴛɪᴀʟ sᴛɪɴɢ ᴏғ ᴀʟᴄᴏʜᴏʟ ɪɴ ʜɪs ᴛʜʀᴏᴀᴛ. ❛ it's not exactly the healthiest thing to do - suffer in silence that is. ❜ who was he kidding - he ignored the cries of help from his younger siblings growing up that he practically encouraged the coping mechanism, afterall it was one he used - ᴡʜᴇɴ ʜᴇ ᴡᴀsɴ'ᴛ ᴡʀɪᴛɪɴɢ sᴛᴏʀɪᴇs ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴛʜᴇɪʀ ᴛʀᴀᴜᴍᴀ.
steve's mind drifted to the things his younger sibilings E X P E R I E N C E D - ᴛʜᴇ ɴᴀʀʀᴀᴛɪᴠᴇs ʜᴇ ʜᴇᴀʀᴅ ᴏғ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴏᴜʀsᴇ ᴏғ ʜɪs ʟɪғᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʜᴇ ᴏғᴛᴇɴ ᴏᴘᴛᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ɪɢɴᴏʀᴇ. his fingers toyed with the crystal glass in his hand as cobalt blue eyes glued to the dark liquid. ❛ we've already seen what it can do when you hold it in, theo. this family has lost enough people, i can't handle another funeral and i sure as hell know shirley won't do another one. ❜ | @mor0se
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River, they/them.
18 + mun is 31.
Other Blogs ; @firebloodicee @mutantmuses @verylastone
Starter Calls ; Memes ;
Rules & Muses below
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Rules ;
1. don't be a dick, please & thank you.
2. this is one of many rp blogs i have so please don't rush me with replies, i do my best to get to everyone when i can.
3. i do rp smut but not with anyone under 18.
4. of course you don't have to follow me back but if you don't i will unfollow and block you so i don't forget and try to refollow you. xD
5. all the muses will be 21+ & there is a good chance most of them will be at least bi.
6. i am a shipping whore. i love to ship like no tomorrow & there is a good chance that i ship the same ships you do. but please DO NOT force a ship on me.
7. i tend to keep updating my muse list so please keep that in mind. normally when i add a muse on the list i will make a post about it.
8. please have fun & if you have any questions please feel free to message me <3
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Muse LIST !
TV SHOWS ;
AHS ;
Nora Montgomery FC ; Lily Rabe
Dr. Oliver Thredson FC ; Zachary Quinto
Lana Winters FC ; Sarah Paulson
Sister Mary Eunice FC ; Lily Rabe
Cordelia Goode FC ; Sarah Paulson
Misty Day FC ; Lily Rabe
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Bates Motel ;
Norma Bates FC ;Vera Farmiga
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Buffy The Vampire Slayer ;
Buffy Summers FC ; Sarah Michelle Gellar
Drusilla FC ; Juliet Landau
Faith Lehane FC ; Eliza Dushku
Tara Maclay ; FC ; Amber Beson
Willow Rosenberg FC ; Alyson Hannigan
=
Dracula{ 2013 }
Alexander Grayson { Dracula } FC; Jonathan Rhys Meyers
Mina Murray FC ; Jessica De Gouw
Lady Jayne Wetherby FC ; Victoria Smurfit
Lucy Westenra FC ; Katie McGrath
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The Fall ;
Stella Gibson FC ; Gillian Anderson
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Hannibal ;
Bedelia Du Maurier FC ; Gillian Anderson
Hannibal Lecter FC ; Meds Mikelsen
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Haunting of Hill House ;
Nell Crain FC ; Victoria Pedretti
Theodora "Theo" Crain FC ; Kate Siegel
Olivia Crain FC ; Carla Gugino
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The Haunting of Bly Manor ;
Dani Clayton FC ; Victoria Pedretti
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Penny Dreadful ;
Vanessa Ives FC ; Eva Green
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True Blood ;
Sookie Stackhouse FC ; Anna Paquin
Pamela Swynford De Beaufort FC ; Kristin Bauer
Sophie-Anne Leclerq FC ; Evan Rachel Wood
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The X-Files ;
Dana Scully FC ; Gillian Anderson
Fox Mulder FC ; David Duchovny
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MOVIES ;
The Silence of the Lambs ;
Clarice Starling FC ; Jodie Foster
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Underworld ;
Selene FC ; Kate Beckinsale
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Van Helsing ;
Anna Valerious FC ; Kate Beckinsale
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Games ;
Silent Hill ;
Lisa Garland FC ; UNKNOW { help me find one ? }
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Resident Evil ;
Lady Dimitrescu FC ; Lana Parrilla
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What do you mean by "bad adaptation?" I would say that haunting of hill house is maybe an inaccurate? adaptation, or like maybe subversive adaptation is better, but it's still a good adaptation. Ig I'm curious if by bad adaptation you mean it doesn't match the source material in terms of story or in terms of narrative meaning or both?
while i enjoy flanagan's hill house and think it carries enough of the core themes to have a passing connection with the source material, i ultimately believe it works much better as an original story rather than as an adaptation. "bad adaptation" is definitely an oversimplification for the sake of a meme lmao - unsuccessful is a little closer to what i mean, which i'll explain in more detail below.
first, i want to clarify that analysis of book-to-screen adaptation that only considers 1:1 story accuracy (called "fidelity" by adaptation theorists) when judging the final product's merit is often super myopic. many adapters seek to faithfully recreate the story in a new medium using their own artistic skills, but other adapters like our boy mike flanagan employ more artistic freedom.
to adapt hill house, he changed the basic plot/character elements and explored the nuclear family in more definitive terms than the novel. he also set the story in contemporary times, allowing him to modernize the story. this form of adaptation is totally legitimate and can work amazingly, but i believe it requires a certain recognizability to be truly successful.
here is where i believe flanagan went a few steps too far. his hill house is a good story, but it's a fundamentally different story from jackson's hill house. (this is a whole book ahead, i'm so sorry.)
the characters
again, it's completely okay for adaptations to change up the characters + their dynamics. some works combine characters or remove them altogether if they feel their presence isn't necessary for the version of the story they're trying to tell. but the hill houses have an almost entirely different set of characters, with entirely different dynamics.
in the books, a scientist interested in paranormal phenomena contacts individuals with recorded experiences to explore hill house alongside him and the owner's son, luke sanderson. these individuals are eleanor "nell" vance and theodora, who doesn't have a last name. other characters include the caretaker, mrs. dudley, mrs. montague—the scientist's ouiji board-obsessed wife—and arthur, who works for mrs. montague. the characters bond as they discuss the house's history, their own backgrounds, and the origins of supernatural phenomena. meanwhile, hill house slowly ingratiates itself in nell, who's mourning the loss of her mother.
meanwhile, the tv show centers around the crane family, who move into hill house to renovate and eventually flip the property. the show chronicles their tragic interactions with the house—which resulted in the death of olivia crain, the family's matriarch—alongside the house's robust, terrible history. it also chronicles the crain family in current day after the youngest sibling, nell vance nee' crain completes suicide in the house. throughout the season, we see the crain family learn to deal with their tragic past, their ghosts, and the stories they tell each other to cope.
the tv show's story works really well for its medium, but it's a different story. while some core themes stay the same, they're approached from very different angles.
the house
until the very last episode, i would have argued that the house is the most successful aspect of flanagan's adaptation. it's big, scary, and wrong-looking. you don't want to walk into this house. the angles are quite literally wrong. the addition of actual apparitions complement book!hill house's tendency to entrap its victims and haunt them until they eventually join its history.
olivia crain assumes the role of book!nell in the flashbacks; the idea of a proper home/family drives their internal arcs in both books, with some key differences. nell receives the letter from dr. montague about hill house after losing her mother, whom she took care of her entire adult life. nell and her mother eventually resented each other, and this resulted in mach 10 complicated grief for nell, who suddenly has no place and no one to call her own, to call home. she arrives at hill house ostensibly to search for this place and her fears of eternal loneliness drive her spiral.
in flanagan's hill house, olivia crain's fears over her children drives her spiral. the house ostensibly sends her a premonition of nell's death, leading her to believe the house (and the world outside) will kill her children. in desperation, she tries to kill nell and luke. while these internal arcs are demonstrably different, there is also a through line that allows book readers to recognize olivia as the "nell" figure. this was quite good and fun, aside from my issues with olivia crain's character and how flanagan uses the theme of motherhood. that's for another essay.
HOWEVERRR the last episode happened. the crain kids reunite with their sister, leave their dad in the house, and even see the dudleys reunited with their murdered daughter. afterward, the crain kids live happily. flanagan gave hill house a redemption arc, dismantling the fear from the previous episodes in one ten minute montage. at the end of the book, nell dies and the book ends by repeating the opening line. hill house has stood for a hundred years, and will stand for a hundred more.
a thousand essays could be written on this line alone. does this refer to the perceived permanence of the nuclear family? will humans always destroy themselves if they can't confront the immovable haunted house in their own lives? and so on. you can't unhaunt hill house without writing a fundamentally different haunted house.
theo and nell
in jackson's hill house, the relationship between theo and nell are arguably the heart of the story. the majority of nell's interactions are with theo, including the main "haunting" of the book - when the ghost rattles the walls and door of nell's room. we watch nell become equal parts entranced with theo and resentful of her perceived freedom. she's drawn to theo's vivaciousness and regrets that she's so meek in comparison. she later dreams of living with theo, who gently shuts her down, sending nell further into the spiral that eventually leads to her death. theo is also the last person nell touches when she tries to leave hill house. while i read their interactions as super mega gay, there are many alternative readings. either way, nell and theo are inextricably linked in the book.
in flanagan's hill house, theo and nell are siblings. this automatically changes the relationship and, obviously, removes any possibility of romantic feelings. the most salient parallel is how nell tries to reach out to theo for help; her rejection pushes nell further towards her deadly return to hill house. (not that it was actually her fault, but theo felt like it was her fault.) otherwise, flanagan nell's greatest connection is to her twin brother and her mother, olivia crain. the latter is ostensibly the most like book!theo, but show!nell has very few memories of her mother, and what she does remember, she cherishes rather than interrogates.
theo continued
theo herself is a very, very different character. she's closed off emotionally and her sarcasm is biting, rather than charming, like jackon's theo. book!theo also has a roommate heavily implied to be her girlfriend, which has been the subject of many literary journal articles over the years. while i think it's genuinely great that flanagan's theo is openly gay, she's just. an entirely different lady. this choice is ostensibly subversive, but i think her overall lack of connection to the original character diminishes this quality. (in a more faithful adaptation, i'd love to see a depiction of theo's internal life; it could be a realy interesting juxtaposition to nell's pov, which dominates the original book's narrative.)
nell continued
we are veering a little bit into My Personal Reading of the Text, but i think it holds some merit for this conversation. in jackson's hill house, nell reads as gay and closeted. she feels fundamentally displaced in then-modern society. she's in her thirties and unmarried, and she also isn't a working professional. her sister tolerates her, but nell perceives herself as an unwanted presence. i believe she's partly attracted to theo because she wants aspects of her life - the little house theo describes, her confidence. when book!luke (who's very much not her twin brother) flirts with nell, she recognizes how much she hates the interaction. she doesn't want to flirt with men. this realization makes her a little giddy. the tragedy in hill house is that nell reached out a hand for help, for home, and only the house answered. everyone else lets her drive away.
making nell unequivocally straight in the tv show just. eschews this entire aspect of the book for me. show!nell has a husband and a loving family. she definitely has ptsd from her experiences at hill house (and the vision of her own corpse looming over her head) and grieves her mother, but those societal factors are gone. i can't entirely claim this is an adaptational failure, but it's definitely the biggest missed opportunity of the show.
tl;dr
both jackson's and flanagan's hill houses did what they set out to do. those things are just irreconcilably different. i enjoyed the show and its versions of the characters have stayed with me. but it's not a "successful" adaptation of the book's story, themes, and narrative as i understand them.
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GET TO KNOW THE MUN!
What's your phone's wallpaper: The Morningstar (once Magne) Family by ChandlLucky is my lock screen. I'm obsessed w/them. Lilith is the home screen but I cannot find the source so I'm not posting it.
Last song you listened to: Jericho (SYKO Remix) by Iniko!
Currently reading: The Haunting of Hill House by Shirley Jackson. Howl's Moving Castle by Diana Wynne Jones. Interview with the Vampire & Vittorio by Anne Rice and a few others. 🙃 Finished Long Live the Pumpkin Queen yesterday tho!
Last movie: The Greatest Showman. Good songs in that movie. Fav has to be "From Now On"!
Last show: I can't remember if it was The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina or Hazbin Hotel (even tho it's just a pilot rn).
What are you wearing right now?: Pajamas!
Piercings/tattoos?: My ears were pierced once when I was very little against my will, and they were pierced very horribly at the local Walmart lol.. Constant infection. Never again. Tattoos? Too big of a coward for needle piercing constantly, and also far too indecisive.
Glasses? Contacts?: Glasses!! Used to have contacts in school, but that went sideways and I do not like them. They'd be nice, but the process squicks me out too much.. not to mention they kept slipping out.
Last thing you ate: Corn nuts. Cronch.
Favourite colour(s)?: Burgundy. Dark shades of Red. Black. Purple. Cream.
Current obsession: demon hotel LMAO. Hazbin has me by the throat right now, SPECIFICALLY the Morningstar Family + Vaggie!! Sliding right back into Kuroshitsuji tho. BRACE FOR IMPACT.
Do you have a crush right now?: Been in a relationship for over a decade now with my gal. :) <3 Gonna be approaching two decades soon.. childhood love.
Favourite fictional characters (LAST TIME I SEEN THIS MEME IT HAD AN 'S' I'M SLAPPING THAT BACK ON BC I COULDN'T DO THIS OTHERWISE): Nora Wakeman (My Life as a Teenage Robot). Jessica Rabbit (Who Framed Roger Rabbit?). Wilt (Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends). Flemeth (Dragon Age). Olivia Crain (Haunting of Hill House show). Theodora Crain (Haunting of Hill House show). Elizabeth Midford (Kuroshitsuji). Undertaker (Kuroshitsuji). Claudia Phantomhive (Kuroshitsuji). Vaggie (Hazbin Hotel). Lilith (Hazbin Hotel). &&& I'll be here all day if I have to keep going down the list so I'm just leaving this here.
Tagged by: @casketdweller -- thank you, tickeroo!
Tagging: If you like, @thcsevoices, @ominasapphirus, @derjaegermond && whoever else might see this!
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CAST ( IN ORDER OF APPEARANCE ) , EXILAE IN THE ROLE OF THEODORA ‘THEO’ CRAIN , DESTAGE IN THE ROLE OF ELEANOR ‘NELL’ CRAIN . KENNA FORGOT THE MEME , ❛ I LOVED YOU THEN AND I LOVE YOU NOW. ❜
hers are cracks that showed too late, hidden under flowers until this body was breaking, and now she knows that her loveliness has become something twisted, shapeless and writhing under her skin. sometimes she still feels like the small child clinging at their sleeves, pulling bodies closer and closer, holding on to holidays and birthdays and believing recklessly that this year will be better, that they can stomach a meal across the table without horrors resurfacing. and now, this year, like every one she can convince them around a table, eleanor’s sitting on a porch step swallowing a disappointment that feels like knives, wondering if they were all shattered so far beyond repair that they cannot find themselves back to something real. they’ll not try family time again at christmas, she’s sure of that. for now, it’s raining and her fingernails are bitten down so hard they’re starting to ache, and she’s thinking about local motels that might be easier to handle than this, wondering if luke will come with her and she can pretend they’re happy for just a little while, when the body sits by her side, warm and steady and a promise made. she leans in without thinking, seeks a warmth that will sink into her aching bones, make her feel like her bones aren’t quite so aching, filled with a corpse - cold that comes from the grave, from the dark halls of her home. ❛ i know. ❜ but she keeps looking forward, staring at the distance as if she expects to see something coming for them, with teeth and jaws unhinged, to claim the life stolen; she never could be present. ❛ i do @exilae, and they all love each other but it’s like this every year. and every year i keep begging them to try again and i don’t know why i do it anymore. ❜
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@wildkissed's shirley said: ❛ you’re not alone. i’m staying right here. ❜
it was not in her nature to show weakness, to show vulnerability. ever since hill house, theodora had always been the type to keep it all hidden and bottled up. it was just easier that way. she had seen the way steven had judged the twins, the way shirley had seemingly shut down at the mentions of whatever it was they had faced, the way luke and nell leaned on each other. the only one who had ever understood had been her mother, but olivia was gone too. dead and gone and buried, her absence yet another feeling that theo had shut down. she was scared of feeling everything, praying she would feel nothing. until she had felt nothing. oh what a mistake it had been to touch nell. all she had wanted was to understand and she finally did. eleanor had been consumed by a darkness that had almost eaten theodora alive, how strong nellie had been. theo had crumpled apart, desperate to feel anything again. so much so that she had kissed her sister’s husband.
it was ridiculous and weak, and theo hated feeling that way. but even feeling alive by feeling guilt and shame was better than that empty, dark, all-consuming nothing. cerulean hues sought shirley’s gaze at last, her older sister’s figure blurry as she did. ❝ you don’t hate me? ❞ the brunette whispered quietly, teeth brushing against her bottom lip. ❝ i really am sorry, shirl. i just... fuck. i don’t know how nellie did this. how she... dealt with all this. she really was the strongest one of us. ❞
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69 for the haunting of hill house Nell crain
Song 69: Girls/Girls/Boys by Panic! At The Disco
At the age of 13, Nell met Theo’s first girlfriend. Theo was sixteen, and it was completely unsurprising that she was in a relationship, it was just a little bit surprising that it was with a girl.
Nell had been thinking for a long time about girls. Maybe now that Theo had a girlfriend it made more sense.
She used to cry herself to sleep in middle school, fearing that she was a lesbian in an unaccepting world, but she felt less and less fear. As the fear subsided, and she learned to accept herself more, she tried to understand what it was that she actually felt.
At the age of 15, Nell developed a crush on one of the most popular girls in her school. Her name was Jonah, and she was sporty and popular, but she also represented everything soft and wholesome in the world. She spent hours making pretty notes for her classes, and everyday she packed two neat lunches in her backpack, always delivering one to her younger sister when lunch started.
Nell could’ve sworn she was in love. She couldn’t help but stare when they were in English class, and she would smile to herself thinking about a time that Jonah asked to borrow a highlighter and she had one on hand. Jonah, of course, had a boyfriend though.
Nell knew what she was feeling, but she didn’t know how to come to terms with it.
Her siblings had noticed the change in her demeanor in the last few weeks, but Luke was the only one who had noticed the newly neat notes in Nell’s binder, and the small hearts with Jonah’s name in them in the margins.
Instead of talking to Nell about it, he figured that Theo would be the best person to tackle the situation, so he informed her about Nell’s predicament.
Theo planted herself in Nell’s room the next afternoon, waiting until her sister arrived from model UN to talk to her.
When Nell arrived, she was surprised to see her sister, but not upset.
“Hey Theo,” Nell greeted, throwing her backpack onto the floor before sitting down in one of her beanbag chairs.
“Hey Nell,” Theo responded, sitting down in the beanbag across from her.
Nell looked at her expectantly, waiting for her older sister to say something.
Theo had no clue how to go about this, she’s not the oldest sibling, she wasn’t used to giving advice or having meaningful conversations, that was Shirley’s job, sometimes even Steve’s.
She decided to get straight to the point, “Nell, do you like girls?”
Nell looked down at her hands, playing with one of her rings. Had it been anyone else, they would have been upset about the ambush, but all Nell could feel was relief.
“I think so,” she breathed out, loud and steady, “but not just girls, Theo, I like boys too.”
Theo nodded thoughtfully, taking in her baby sister’s words understandingly. “There’s a name for that, you know?”
Nell’s eyes brightened as she looked up and met her sister’s, “there is?”
“Yup, yup, yup, it’s called bisexuality.”
“No way,” Nell responded, relieved that this word meant that she wasn’t the only one who felt attracted to both. She felt calm, all this time she had spent worrying that her feelings were abnormal were put to rest, as if all at once.
“I’d talk to you about all that sappy stuff, but I think that’ll be Steve’s job, just know that we accept you no matter what Nellie.” Theo scooted her beanbag closer to Nell’s in order to ruffle her hair. “Now, tell me about Jonah.”
Nell turned as red as a tomato, shaking her head rapidly, “no way.”
Theo knew that her sister wouldn’t readily give up this information, and she had worn her gloves knowing that she would have to resort to desperate measures. “You’re forcing my hands El.”
Theo’s finger started spidering rapidly over Nell’s tummy, outrunning any attempts that Nell took to stop her fingers.
Nell giggled, rolling down in her beanbag as the ticklish sensations overwhelmed her body. It was rare that Theo ever took part in the tickling of her siblings because of her gift, but when she did, she knew exactly how to get what she wanted.
Theo’s left hand scurried up to Nell’s ears, and Nell giggled loudly, trying to duck.
“Alright, aahahalright! I’ll tell you!” Nell screamed, rolling down as far as she could.
Theo stopped, sitting up in the beanbag with her hands held together, ready to intently listen. “Spill.”
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Bye
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a ghost. her words make you blink slowly, blue hues still focused on the corner of the room almost as if saying the word is gonna make the ghost come back. it does not. yet you cannot bring yourself to look away. it had been years since the last time you had seen anything like that / years since you had allowed yourself to think back to that place and all the unexplainable things you thought you had seen. the things that had haunted you and nell and luke and your mother. the things steve wrote about. cup of whiskey is brought up to your lips, a long sip taken as an attempt to shove down the memories. it is the easy thing to do / act as though it never happened. but it did happen, did it not? shirley had never seen it and she often acted as though you all had lost your minds but…
no. you are not about to lose it so near nell’s funeral. however selfish her choice to end her life had been? ( and may god have mercy on your soul because you cannot help thinking she is selfish ) eleanor is still your baby sister who is gone. tears glisten in your gaze, the same gaze that has still not left the corner of the room. it is not going to move so soon, not while you are drinking away your sorrows and being haunted by horrific images from your past and that big black empty nothing that almost swallows you whole.
❝ our family is full of ghosts, shirl, ❞ you whisper, a dry chuckle breaking out of your lips. ❝ but no, i didn’t see anything. i’m just thinking of nellie alone in that stupid house. thinking of how she didn’t even give us a chance to help her before… ❞ you trail off, knowing fully well you are the one who is selfish for blaming her. but it is easier this way, easier to blame eleanor than to admit you are the one who is selfish. that you are too detached from the rest of your family to do anything about the darkness you knew was haunting your sister. had you not seen it in her eyes that day at her apartment? had you not felt it? had you not pushed her away out of fear it would haunt you too?
it is only then that you finally look at @v0ltais. ❝ the picture you chose is awful, pick another one, ❞ you add, finishing your drink as you point towards the nell picture in the corner you had been staring at for the past few minutes. the same corner where the ghost had showed up. the same corner that darkness was growing in. ❝ pick another one. ❞
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“ okay, you’re really starting to freak me out this isn’t funny anymore. ” ( nell for theo )
❛ i'm freaking you out? ❜ ʜᴇʀ ᴠᴏɪᴄᴇ ᴡᴀs ᴄᴏᴀᴛᴇᴅ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴀɴxɪᴇᴛʏ as she struggled to pull her gloves over the length of her forearm, hands trembling while she fought back tears. theo would have given anything to sᴛᴏᴘ ғᴇᴇʟɪɴɢ, to not ᴇɴᴅᴜʀᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴀᴛᴀsᴛʀᴏᴘʜɪᴄ ғᴇᴇʟɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴜɴʀᴀᴠᴇʟᴇᴅ ɪɴsɪᴅᴇ ᴏғ ʜᴇʀ - not only her own but the brief contact with her sister only A M P L I F E D everything she was sensing.
ʜᴇʀ ʙᴏᴅʏ ᴛᴇᴍᴘᴇʀᴀᴛᴜʀᴇ ʙᴇɢᴀɴ ᴛᴏ ʀɪsᴇ as she started to pace the room while keeping her fair distance from nell, ❛ i can feel every single emotion that has happened in this room and it's suffocating ! ❜ whatever events occurred previously within the four walls where they stood was T R A G I C. deep down theo knew her sister was the last person she needed to come unglued in front of but the overwhelming abundance of emotions and sensations that forced themselves upon her made her V U L N E R A B L E. ❛ why are we here, nell? we - i need to go! ❜ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴇsᴘᴇʀᴀᴛɪᴏɴ ᴛᴏ ᴇsᴄᴀᴘᴇ ᴡᴀs ʀᴇᴀʟ. | @nightskied
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she paused in the middle of the living room, fingers holding onto the bottle of beer. blue hues grew colder, teeth biting down on her bottom lip. for some reason, being told that she was like @m0urtes did not exactly bring theo peace. quite the opposite, in fact. he was the one who never believed any of them, the one who wrote a book exposing them all. did she accept his money? yes. did she want to be like him? definitely no. though she did want to be normal. it had all she had ever wanted since she was a child. to stop feeling things and knowing things and seeing things / things that no one else felt or knew or saw most of the time. no, she was definitely not like steve. she was like their mom, a thought which terrified her even more. was she doomed too? would it all suddenly become too much one day? her eyes fell shut, exhaling slowly before bringing her bottle to her lips.
❝ is this your failed attempt at bonding with me now that you found out i am a lesbian, steve? ❞ theo inquired after a long sip, lips pressed together on a thin line as her gaze finally sought his. ❝ because you’re only about two decades too late. ❞
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twinthng sent: and how long will you be able to stay? @ theodora crain
a meme i seem to have lost / accepting.
it was difficult for theo not to try and analyze his every word, even his actions, for any extra hints as to how he was doing. was he really trying? was this all for show? she was worried about him but she couldn’t show it. she was setting boundaries, and that was healthy.
she blinked a few times, pulling herself out of her mind and back to the present--a conversation with her baby brother. “well i can’t really stay beyond visiting hours at this place but, uh-- i’ll be in town for a few days.” she would be in town for one week, but she wasn’t sure she wanted him to know that. boundaries. if she didn’t set them she would be a mess, forever feeling the despair and pain of those around her. forever trying to fix things that were beyond repair. her heart clenched in her chest and she forced a smile. “i’ll make sure to see you again before i leave.” / @twinthng
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name your top 10 favorite characters from 10 different fandoms and then tag 10 people
Isa/Saix (Kingdom Hearts)
Aoba Seragaki (DRAMAtical Murder)
Sansa Stark (A Song of Ice and Fire/Game of Thrones)
Lagertha (Vikings)
Naevia (Spartacus)
Julian Devorak (The Arcana)
Miguel Alvarez (Oz)
Aliena (The Pillars of the Earth)
Alyn Shir (Kingdoms of Amalur: Reckoning)
Nomi Marks (Sense8)
Theodora “Theo” Crain (The Haunting of Hill House)
tagged by: stole it
tagging: be gay do meme stealing crimes
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human sympathy has its limits.
The Great Gatsby Meme || @detouch || accepting
“Even when it comes to family?”
Nell’s mouth was pressed into a thin line as she looked upon Theo. The same Theo who held her hand in the dark, who made things okay when they weren’t, THIS Theo – her Theo – wanted to give up on him. To give up on Luke. She didn’t need to hear the words to know what was happening. Theodora Crain was detaching. The two of them had always joked that it was Shirley who was the one who iced people out, and to an extent that was true too. However, Theo detached due to fear of letting people get close. She never meant to, but even with the simple addition of her gloves it was clear to see that she was out of touch with the world. She maintained a bubble of privacy that was ironclad so that no on could get close enough to h u r t her.
She moved to reach out for Theo’s hand, but recoiled because she knows better. There was a wall that had grown between where they sat and Nell knitted her eyebrows together, peering over the wall, hoping that it would be enough to pursuad her. “It’s just his second relapse.” Her throat felt dry, like the words were nails on a chalkboard – chilling and uncomfortable. “It’s difficult - to kick the habit.” Nell said softly, searching from sort of understanding in her sister’s face.
“He wants to get better. We know he does. But if he wants to get back to who our brother is we have to leave a room open, we have to leave the door open, we have to help to guide him back home with the light from the porch.” Nell was talking more metaphorically now but the sentiment was there. “We have to h e l p him.
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