#might make a survey thing for you guys to submit stuff to

[pandawritespoorly]

An Update: My Plans for A Shy ‘Sparrow’

Hello all!

I’m sure you’ve all noticed that despite my plans to give A Shy ‘Sparrow’ (how I wish I could abbreviate that) a regular update schedule, I have not.

This is because I couldn’t find the inspiration to. Writing it always felt forced, not at all the way With Time was.

A few days ago, I was like ‘okay, Panda, take a step back and find the source’.

So I did that. I took a step back, and I looked at the story, and I realized that I’m not happy with it.

I started the story very quickly, I had an idea and I ran with it, and that’s great! But I also didn’t give it time to grow. All I have is a suffocated little seedling that I keep telling to become a tree.

And that’s not fair to the seedling.

I began the story, planning for it to be short, because I was in the middle of With Time. Then, by the time I had the time to write it, I had other ideas I wanted to get to. I tried to cram all my ideas for A Shy ‘Sparrow’ into it all at once, to finish quickly, and move on. But now, I realize the reason that I was more excited about those other stories was because I’d given them the time to grow. There was more there! It was exciting and fun! That is, believe it or not, how I originally felt about this story!

As the creator, I am in charge. If I am not satisfied with my work, then that means I’m not done with it. I have full control of what I do. No one is stopping me from fixing things.

I am not abandoning this work.

As of right now, A Shy ‘Sparrow’ is officially on hiatus for an undetermined amount of time. It will be going under heavy editing and revision to make it into a story that I am proud of calling my own, and then I will begin posting it again.

Currently, I think that the already existing chapters will be left as they are. I think it’s important to show that even if you’ve already started writing, there’s no shame in changing the story. It’s your story!! Make sure it feels that way! Besides, as an author, this feels like a moment of growth that I don’t want to erase. When updates continue, it will be a separate work on Ao3, likely marked as a reboot or similar term.

In addition!

Because I have already began posting it, this story belongs, in part, to all of you! If there is something you think I could add, or that you had hoped to see, or that you’d wondered about - anything - feel free to tell me! I make no guarantees on if I’ll use all your ideas, but hearing your feedback will be both interesting and helpful.

I will not be gone during this time! The story is going on hiatus I am not.

If you have any questions, let me know! All input, ideas, constructive criticism, etc, is welcome!

[professorrw]

Life’s Unfair

Pairing: female reader x Bucky Barnes

Requested: Yes

Warnings: abusive relationship, abuse, mentions of PTSD, victim blaming, cheating, alcohol, Bucky and Steve save reader from abusive boyfriend

A/N: If I missed any warnings please tell me! If there is anything wrong with this let me know.  Requests are open for one-shots, headcanons, imagines, and drabbles for My Hero Academia, Harry Potter, and Marvel! My taglist is open so if you’d like to be on that just tell me! Please like, comment, and reblog!

Why is life so unfair? Why do bad things happen to you? Why don’t you get a happy ending? Why do you have to suffer? Why do you attract bad people? Why are you so weak? These were all the thoughts running through your head as you laid next to your boyfriend board stiff. You were silently crying, if he heard you he would hit you more. 

Life is unfair, that’s a statement, a fact. At least you believe it is. In college you were a good student. You were smart, but you let people walk all over you. One of those people being Chad. It was okay at first, you really believed he loved you. But he didn’t, and he still doesn’t. In college you were a means of getting good grades and sex. Now you were a way to live rent free. While you worked as a sort of assistant for the Avengers he would party, drink, and cheat on you.

It wasn’t like you didn’t know. He didn’t try to hide it at all. You would randomly find panties that weren’t yours and acrylic nails that weren’t your style under the bed, even sometimes in it. You didn’t say anything though. You couldn’t. Because if you did he would hit you and yell at you. Even if you acted good and stayed quiet he would abuse you.

It was a never ending cycle that you couldn’t leave. He had control over you. He made you feel like shit every single day. He would tell you you couldn’t survive without him and you would die if you left him. You were scared of him. He had physical power over you. It wasn’t like you just pack up and leave.

What was even more unfair was that you were in love with someone. That someone being Bucky Barnes, a former Winter Soldier. You were assigned to help him adjust to his new life and you slowly but surely realized you loved him. He was kind and funny. Gentle, even though he had a dark past. He was intent on changing and you were there to help him. He found solace in your continued company, even when he was adjusted and could do things on his own.

You were a constant in his life and he was secretly in love with you too. But you had a boyfriend. That was the only thing holding him back. What he didn’t know was that Chad abused you. You didn’t tell anyone and made sure to keep it a secret. It was embarrassing to tell people that you had been in an abusive relationship for nearly ten years and you were too scared to leave it. So you suffered in silence.

You clocked into work at the Avenger base early the next morning. You left before Chad was awake. You didn’t want to hear his empty apologies anymore. They didn’t mean anything. He was a manipulative bastard that would abuse you at night and then act all innocent when he woke up. He blamed it on the alcohol. But if he really wanted to stop he could have. 

It was humid outside and you were sweating bullets in your long sleeve blouse. You were usually dressed in long sleeves and pants, to cover the bruises. It was a miserable way to live, but you endured it. The Avengers didn’t question your fashion, they just thought it was your personal style to dress modestly. It wasn’t. If you could, you would dress more freely, sexy even. But even if you didn’t have bruises Chad wouldn’t let you. He would claim you were dressing for other men, trying to seduce them.

You were hired as a rehabilitation effort to help Bucky but all the Avengers like having you around and hired you as a sort of assistant. Even though they didn’t need assistance and you mostly just talked to them and had fun. The only real work you did was sorting out their public affairs and sometimes talking them through tough times. 

As you walked into the cool Avengers tower lobby you were greeted by the receptionist, who informed you that Bucky was in his room. You took the elevator up to his temporary placement while he looked for his own apartment, which you were doing today. 

You knocked on the door and he immediately replied, “Come in.” Once he saw it was you his face lit up.

“Hey-” your voice caught in your throat when you saw Bucky, who was shirtless. 

He noticed your flustered face and bashfully pulled his shirt on. “Sorry about that doll. I was getting ready.”

“It-It’s fine.” You couldn’t seem to look him in the eye now that the sight of his abs and chest were burned into your brain.

“I asked Steve to come too. For advice, ya know.” He was leaning against his bed frame with his non-metal arm. He looked like a model you would find in a magazine for some masculine cologne.

“Good idea. Steve’s been in your shoes before and he’s known you for years.”

As if on cue there was a knock at the door and Steve stuck his head in. “Sorry I heard talking and assumed you guys were ready.”

You and Bucky glanced at one another before you answered. “Yeah, we’re ready.” 

The three of you began your trip around Brooklyn, where Bucky wanted to live. You went to all the listings you had marked, spending most of the day there. You took a break from hunting and went to get lunch.

You took a seat outside with Bucky while Steve got your food.

“So… do you like any of them?”

“Yeah, I mean, they’re apartments, that's for sure,” he shrugged.

“Buck, come on. What’s wrong with ‘em?”

“S’just weird, ya know? Acting normal and doing normal stuff.”

You reached across the table and took his hand. “It’s okay to feel weird about this stuff. I’m sure Steve has felt it too.”

“Yeah, but Steve-” he was cut off by the man himself walking up to your table and placing your food down. You quickly pulled your hand away, but not fast enough to hide it from Steve. He knew all about your feelings for one another.

You tucked into your food, forgetting about your conversation for now. Bucky had confided in you a lot of what he had done, sparing you the nitty gritty details. He told you about his PTSD, about all the dreams he had. He trusted you and allowed you to comfort him. You were the only woman in his life, the only woman he even considered close to him. 

It broke your heart knowing what he went through for all those years and all you could tell him was that he’s changed. And he has. At first he was cold and wouldn’t talk to anyone but he warmed up to you and Steve and let you into his bubble. 

Lunch went well and you continued on your search. You looked at a wide range of apartments until it was nearly nine and you had arrived at the last apartment. It was close to one of your favorite restaurants, which Bucky knew.

You walked up the flight of stairs and into the apartment. It had exposed brick on one side of the wall and a fire escape right out the window. It felt like Bucky’s style and something that would suit him. He surveyed the living room, kitchen, and bedroom before he returned.

“I think it suits you. It seems like something you would like,” you said.

“I agree,” Steve said.

Bucky stopped in the middle of the living room, contemplating it for a second. “I like it too.”

“Great! Do you want me to call the owner and tell her you want to make an offer?” you asked.

“Yeah, thanks doll.”

You did just that and luckily the owner was in the building at that moment. You three went down to talk to her and submit Bucky’s application before you stepped out into the cool night air.

Steve’s house was in the opposite direction of your apartment and the Avengers tower so he told you two good night and went on his way, leaving you two alone.

You two started walking towards your apartment. Bucky didn’t know where exactly it was but he wasn’t going to let you walk home alone at night.

“I’m glad you found one.” 

“Me too. It’s not that far from your place is it?”

“No, just a few streets away.” You two were walking so close together your shoulders were bumping.

“I might have to come visit you sometime then, huh?”

You glanced over at Bucky who was gazing at you as he walked. He had a gentle expression on his face, no worries or cares creasing his face when he was with you. “Yeah you might.”

You kicked at some pebbles as you both got closer and closer to your apartment. As you arrived in front of it you stopped, causing Bucky to halt as well.

“Well… I’ll see you tomorrow Buck.” You rocked back and forth on your heels as Bucky smiled down at you. He was waging war within himself to keep from reaching out and kissing you. He too felt how unfair life was.

“See ya tomorrow doll.” He waved goodbye as you walked up the stairs. He waited on the sidewalk until you were safely inside. You had a giddy feeling inside you. Spending the day with Bucky was like a breath of fresh air. Your home away from home in a way. You walked into your apartment and locked the door behind you with a small grin on your face.

It was quickly wiped away when you heard Chad’s voice behind you. “Who was that? Your lover?”

You turned around slowly and answered him in a calm voice, “No, he's my friend.”

“What did you say? Speak up when you talk to me!” His voice was steadily getting louder and you were close to trembling.

“He’s my friend!” you shouted. Your fists were clenched at your sides.

“You want to yell at me? You want to yell at me bitch? Who do you think you are? Without me you’re nothing! You belong to me!” He moved closer and closer to you until he was inches away. He pushed your shoulder with each sentence he spoke, each push getting progressively harder.

“You can tell your little boyfriend that! You’re mine! Isn’t that right?” He grabbed your chin with his hand and made you look into his eyes. His breath reeked of beer. “Isn’t that right?”

You nodded meekly, fighting back the tears. He was scowling at you with pure hatred in his eyes. What did you ever do to him? What made him think you deserved this treatment?

He let go of your face and pushed you one last time, making you hit the coffee table and then the floor. Your whole body was shaking and your left arm was aching where it hit the table. You went to sleep the same way as every night, silent and scared.

You woke up even earlier than the previous day and walked to the bathroom. Your eyes were red and puffy from last night's crying. You raised your left sleeve to see a new bruise on the side of your arm just above your wrist. You pressed a finger against it and winced. You got ready for work again and headed out.

There wasn’t much going on at the tower today. You saw Bucky an hour after you arrived. He thanked you for helping him before he told you that he was approved for the apartment. You shared your congratulations and went on with your work. Your mind went back to last night and how Chad’s excuse for hitting you was Bucky. He would use anything that he could find to use against you, even your friends.

You couldn’t help but think it was your fault. You were pretty close to Bucky last night. If it weren’t for Chad lingering in your mind you would have kissed him. You quit daydreaming about Bucky and started working again. A few hours later you were wondering whether or not to go out and eat lunch. 

Steve approached your desk. “Do you want to go have lunch with me?”

“Yeah! I was actually just debating whether or not I was going to go out but I don’t have a reason not to now.”

You and Steve went out to lunch and chatted about whatever came to mind in the moment. When you were finished eating you left to go to the bathroom. When you were washing your hands your sleeves got wet so you rolled them up a few inches. You dried off your hands and returned to Steve. 

“The waitress came by and gave me the bill. I went ahead and paid.”

“Thanks. I owe you.” You reached to grab your to-go cup off the table.

“What happened?” Steve was looking at you with concern.

You felt your blood run cold. You glanced at your arm. Your sleeve raised even more and your bruise was peeking out.

“Nothing. I tripped and hit my arm.” You tried to keep your voice steady but you were starting to shake. Steve’s concern didn’t go away. He could tell you were lying.

“Y/N what really happened? Did someone do this to you?”

“I- no that’s not it. I- I fell.” Your lip was quivering. You were on the verge of tears. Steve looked around before getting up and motioning for you to follow him. You walked out of the diner and onto the street before turning on a less crowded street where there was a small park. Steve sat down on a bench and you sat beside him. You were fiddling with your thumbs, unsure of what to say. You didn’t want anyone to know what was happening to you but now Steve knew.

“Y/N, please. You’re hurt. Tell me who did this to you. Is it your boyfriend?” 

Your chest tightened and you gulped down the saliva that was filling your mouth. A tear escaped your eye and rolled down your cheek as you nodded. You put your head in your hands in an effort to hide your face. Steve put a hand on your shoulder. “Why didn’t you tell anyone?”

“It’s embarrassing. I’m a grown woman and I can’t even- I’m afraid.”

“How long has it been going on?”

“Years.”

Steve was in silence. He couldn’t believe he didn’t realize sooner.

“Does anyone know? Does Bucky know?”

You shook your head.

“I don’t know what to do.” You wiped your tears and sniffled. Your breath was as shaky as your hands.

“We’ll figure it out. Can you go home tonight? Will you be okay for one more night?”

“What are you going to do?”

“Just answer me. Will you be okay for one more night?”

“I’ve been okay for all these years. What’s one more night?”

“Okay… be careful.”

You cleaned yourself up and went back to work for the rest of the day. When you got home Chad was black out drunk on the couch. That meant he wasn’t going to wake up for a while and you would be left alone. You went to bed alone, imagining all the things that could possibly happen tomorrow. Steve didn’t tell you what he was going to do but you were scared. There were many ways that it could end badly.

You headed into work the next morning the same as everyday. You were greeted at the door by Bucky. As soon as he saw you through the windows he ran to meet you. Before you knew what was happening you were in his arms. His human hand was shaking as it stroked your hair.

“Y/N I’m so sorry. I’m sorry. I should have noticed. I should have known.” He pulled away. “We’re going to get you out of this. You don’t have to be scared anymore. You’re okay. I promise I won’t let something happen to you ever again. I promise. I promise…” He was so worried he was trembling. When Steve told him about your bruise and your boyfriend he was furious. He spent his whole night worrying about you, hoping that you were okay.

You pulled him back into the hug. “Buck it’s not your fault. You couldn’t have known. I made sure no one knew.”

“Y/N I love you! I love you and I didn’t even realize! It was happening right under my nose! I see you every day. I talk to you every day. Have been for almost a year and I didn’t even know!” He took a moment to collect himself. “Y/N if you let me I’ll protect you until the day I die. No one, no one will ever hurt you again.”

His proclamation had driven you to tears. He loves you. He wants to protect you.

“What’s wrong? Are you okay?” Your crying worried him even more.

“Nothings wrong, it's just… you love me.” You wiped your tears and smiled at him.

“Of course I do! And I promise I’m going to get you away from him. You’ll never have to worry about him again.” 

You couldn’t form words so you just laid your head against his chest. He embraced you back, arms wrapped around you like he was never going to let go. He loved you with his whole heart and never again would he allow you to be hurt. He would die for you.

Upon seeing you and Bucky, Steve rushed over. “What’s wrong?”

With a quivering voice you answered, “Nothing. ‘M just relieved.”

“Whew okay. We’re going to get you out of there. I told Tony we had stuff to do today so he’s excusing you from work. Now is your boyfriend… ex-boyfriend… um the scumbag… home?”

You made an amused noise at the name. Scumbag. “He usually leaves right after he wakes up and goes to the bar or one of his girlfriends’ houses.” When you said that last part Steve’s eyes went wide.

“Girlfriends? As in multiple? What a dick.”

You and Bucky both turned to stare at the straight laced Captain. He waved you off and continued to talk. “When he leaves we’re going in and taking everything that’s yours and leaving, okay? You can stay with me or with Bucky until you can get your stuff figured out. I know it’s not ideal but it’s better than letting you stay there.”

“It’s alright honestly. Thank you guys for helping me. I don’t think I would have done it on my own.”

You waited until around lunch before going to raid your own apartment. You gathered all your belongings and put them in a cab before heading to Bucky’s new home. When you got there Steve left and went back to the tower, leaving you and Bucky to get situated.

You headed into Bucky’s sparse apartment and set your boxes on the floor. He helped you unpack your clothes and personal items, which was all you owned, before you both plopped onto his couch. It was like the calm after the storm. Everything was, hopefully, sorted out. When Chad gets home he’ll find your letter that says you’re leaving his sorry ass and to not even try to look for you. You’ve already blocked his number and all his social media accounts so there aren’t any ways for him to contact you.

You turned your head to look at your new roommate, “Bucky, was what you said earlier true?”

Now that you weren’t in the heat of the moment and you really wanted to know he felt shy. “I- Yes. Yes, it is doll. I meant it. I love you. I don’t want to rush you into anything though, it’s okay if you don’t feel the same or if it’s too soon.”

“Buck I love you too.”

He let out a breath, “Really?”

“Really. I just didn’t tell you because I was scared.”

He reached over and held your hand. “You don’t have to be scared anymore.”

Taglist: @bellamy1998​

[jaeheewillalwaysbemyfav]

so since you're gonna do the avatar!mc au with the entities you think each brother would fear the most (SO excited for that btw, my friend can attest to the fact that i've basically been rambling about tma x om nonstop since the first post you made that put the two together), i'd love to hear your thoughts on which entity each brother would *be* an avatar of, if you're cool with sharing! personally i love the ideas of specifically vast!levi and dark!belphie but i'd love to hear your takes on the concept! <3

So because of how time works, despite receiving this ask on July 12, by the time you see this it’ll be August! So the entire Avatar!MC series should be out by now, which I hope you will/have enjoy/ed. I wholeheartedly agree with the concept of Vast! Levi, which I’ve talked about before (as you know ;) ), but I will happily ramble about it again!

These aren’t gonna be short fics though bc I do Yearn to save that energy for The Longfic, which is still in the planning stages because a) I can’t pick a timeline, and b) trying to match up the timelines of Obey Me and TMA is hard, especially when I tend to have a violent disrespect for actually paying attention to the timing of plot events in both. I already fucked up a part of the plotting because I forgot the order we get pacts with the brothers lmao

Content warnings: Mentions/allusions to tma-typical Spookies, yet another installation of my Cursed Crossover idea, lengthy debates about what makes someone choose to become an avatar of fear, spoilers for Lesson 16+ of Obey Me and S5 of TMA

What Entity Do I Think The Brothers Would Serve? (Cursed TMA x Obey Me Crossover)

Lucifer

So I put him as falling victim to the Eye/Beholding bc of his whole thing about Secrets and Pride being about wanting control over your own image

And he does have a creepy tendency in canon to always know when his brothers are up to some Dumb Shit

BUT! You know what we see in Lucifer’s character that we see in a certain Entity?

A simultaneous manipulation of others and submission to being manipulated by a higher power

That’s right, I think Luci would be a Web avatar

But Winter, Lucifer wouldn’t wanna take marching orders from someone/thing else! He’s too proud for that— You’re right! He doesn’t want to. But he will.

He willingly submitted himself and his family to Diavolo for eternity to get what he wanted (saving Lilith)

And from how much we see him work, it’s safe to say that he’s a pretty damn essential part of running the Devildom

If he really wanted to, he could probably successfully pull a coup on Diavolo

But he doesn’t, because he’s trapped himself by his own honour code

Thus, the sexual tension bromance we all know and love/insist is Deeply Problematic and blacklist (depending on how much you like/hate dialuci lol)

10/10, would fill with spiders again

Mammon

I put Mammon as falling victim to the Buried for pretty obvious reasons

But admittedly picking a fear he’d serve is trickier

I had to get a bit abstract with it, but I think the Hunt might suit him

Not necessarily the primal *cough* and police brutality *cough* parts of the Hunt tho

More like how Basira was considered an avatar of the Hunt in the fearpocalypse because of her mission/promise to Daisy

See, Greed can stem from fear

Fear of losing what you have, of no longer being able to support yourself, of being preyed upon by others

So people become greedy as a defense mechanism, to protect what they have

If they’re on the offensive, they won’t be targeted

Also, if you’re constantly pursuing more more more, there’s no time to think about anything else

Like consequences, or guilt, or Feelings

If Mammon let his little tough guy act go too far for too long, I don’t think it’s too much of a stretch to say he could start heading down the path to avatarhood

After all, people pay big money for hitmen and bounty hunters…

Leviathan

As I said last time, I can see why people would associate Levi with the Lonely first: he’s a shut in, he acts like he wants nothing to do with people/would rather be alone, and I get it

BUT! All of that actually stems from the fact that Levi has terrible self-esteem and thinks he deserves to be this gross shut in loser

While envy can make you want to bring others down to your level, so to speak, Levi tends to just shun “normies”, not actively conspire to sabotage them

He actually does crave understanding and to have people in his life, he just doesn’t know how to go about it

Boy’s got Mega Social Anxiety is what I’m saying (funny how both the Lonely and the Eye can be real bad for that, huh)

But the Vast? Nihilism? Takes all the pressure off

If everyone is a small, insignificant speck in the face of an uncaring, unfathomably large cosmos, who cares what you do? Who cares what people think of you?

Yeah, you’d be kinda weird too if you stared into the infinite abyss of the ocean and realized it was just the maw of a gargantuan sea monster too, Karen, lay off

Plus aesthetically, the great Awful Deep most people fear in the ocean is a comfort to Levi

And again, THE VAST IS MORE THAN JUST THE SKY

I WENT ON A BOAT ONCE

LIKE REAL FAR OUT, SO I COULDN’T SEE LAND FOR DAYS

IT WAS JUST ENDLESS B L U E

AND I WAS ON A CRUISE IN THE CARIBBEAN

I SAW A FRACTION OF THE OCEAN’S S U R F A C E AND IT WAS I M M E N S E

Did you know we’ve only explored like 5% or whatever of our oceans? Think about that! Every Single Thing we know about what’s in there is just the tip of the iceberg!!! GOD KNOWS WHAT’S DOWN THERE!!! PROBABLY FUCKED UP FISH IS WHAT

*ahem* anyway, fishee

Satan

Another tricky boi

I marked him down as fearing the Desolation, as a reflection of what he fears most in himself

I probably could have also gone with Slaughter, but I’d say that’s more baby/early-Satan

Desolation is also about destruction of potential, and Satan has very carefully built himself into a non-rage-monster person

So tearing that all away from him is :)))

But what would Satan give himself over to?

Ceaseless Watcher, I want that twink OBLITERATED—

Satan clings to knowledge and erudition to distance himself from the rage he was born as

“Watch and learn” is literally how he became a person

I find it deeply funny that it could also easily be how he becomes a monster once again

Also if you think the avatar of Wrath wouldn’t have a use for supernatural blackmail you’re just straight up incorrect

Couple that with Satan’s various connections and he’d be a Force to Reckon With

Asmodeus

I put him as a victim of the Corruption bc I found it extremely fitting considering the duality of his romanticized image vs the “dirty” fluid-filled nature of Lust.

Lust can be really nasty, but as licentious as Asmo’s supposed to be, he’s surprisingly coy

(now part of that comes from the fact that Obey Me isn’t strictly 18+/full-on porn, but still)

There’s a lot of Interesting Ideas to unpack there with attitudes towards sex vs sensuality and idealisation vs reality

Now as for an avatar… I debated this for a very long time, tossing around Eye, Stranger, Spiral, even Web for like one second

But I think I’ve got it

Slaughter!

Specifically the musical/random outbursts of violence side (not so much the war side)

Why? Well for one, Biblical Asmodeus is said to “"transport men into fits of madness and desire [...] with the result that they commit sin, and fall into murderous deeds (Testament of Solomon, verse 23).”

But also, Obey Me Asmo’s affair with that portrait chick from the earlier lessons started a whole ass war

Like it or not, the boy is very good at instilling manic violence in people

They don’t call it bloodlust for nothing

Beelzebub

I paired Beel with an End avatar MC bc the boy fears losing his loved ones like he lost Lilith

You could argue that Desolation would fit there too but I liked how it fit Satan better

Now as for a Vibe…

I’m tied between Flesh and Corruption tbh

Though corruption is mostly bc buge :)

So I’ll talk about the Flesh

So uh, mass consumerism, meat is meat, cannibalism… see where I’m going?

Ignoring the Hans because that was super racist, the two Flesh avatars I remember best are Jared Hopworth and The Guy Who Stuck His Arm in a Spooky Meat Grinder To Feed His Buds

I think of Jared in relation to Beel not because of the gym thing, but because his very chill/apathetic attitude towards his patron is similar to how I’d picture Beel’s approach to all this

Like “well, guess I’m here now”

I love Beel as much as everyone else, but he’s not exactly apologetic about his… habits

Not to the degree that he’d actually try and change them anyway

So if he got started on the path to Flesh avatarhood, he’d be pretty fucked

Belphegor

I put Web for him as a fear almost entirely because of the concept of Uno Reverse Card, ngl

It does technically tie into his whole thing about being trapped in the attic, since he’d denied all agency and freedom in there, but… Uno Reverse

Dark!Belphie is an interesting concept, and MAG86 “Tucked In” is iconic, but tbh I don’t really… Get the Dark

Don’t get me wrong, put me in a dark place and I will be scared, I don’t like not seeing things, but I have a hard time wrapping my head around why one would become an avatar of the Dark

It’s not a very “primary” fear imo? Like, I’m scared of the dark bc I can’t see what’s there, ie. a threat could be there and I wouldn’t know, but intellectually I know it’s just the absence of light. That’s not really spooky on its own.

I guess what I’m saying is I can attribute spookier things related to the Dark better to other Entities, so I’m not sure what its draw is specifically

According to the Entity Sexiness Survey I did a while back, there’s apparently some Catholic stuff going on with the Dark so maybe that’s why i don’t get it lmao

Anyway I’d put Belphie down for Spiral

“What lies behind a smile” indeed cowboy

Apparently it’s getting choked

Is it because MC’s entire relationship with him is originally founded on a lie?

Is it because the Spiral deals with distortions in your perception, gaslighting gatekeeping girlbossing, as well as foggy liminal mental spaces like between sleep and consciousness, death and life?

Is it because I think Belphie would absolutely delight in driving someone bananas by fucking with their dreams until it bleeds into their waking life?

Is it because being a person or consistent being at all is too much effort, consistent internal geography is hard, fuck it, just be an endless twisting series of hallways?

Yes :)

[messy-does-cosmology]

Astrophysics Tools for Research and Data Analysis!

Hi guys, I've been wanting to make a post about how to use various data analysis and research tools for astrophysics, because I had a pretty hands-off supervisor and had to figure things out myself, with my research partner, or by asking academics I knew (like my friend Will). So, this is going to be a quick rundown of how to find data catalogues, download them, and analyse them (using Topcat), and then also how to use search tools like the SDSS and SIMBAD. There is not going to be anything in here about finding research papers, or search terms for google scholar, because firstly I am a noob with those and secondly because there are already beautiful, detailed posts about that. This is specifically for when you want to get some data, analyse it, and search for sources in other catalogues.

First up: how do I find my data?

Well, we use VizieR.

This is a nice, sexy, unintuitive website where you can search for various data catalogues and download them. For this, you will probably want to already know what catalogue you want by the time you get there, so I would recommend reading around. The simplest way to do that is to search on google: "[instrument name] [source type] catalogue" and read whatever papers come up. For example, you might be looking in radio, at the FIRST survey, and decide you want to look at blazar data. So you should google "FIRST radio survey blazar catalogue" and see what comes up. You are going to want to eventually know as much as possible about your catalogue's selection criteria, and what it's specs are, but for now you can start by just skimming the paper and searching it up in VizieR.

Your next step is actually finding the catalogues.

VizieR looks like this, and you should be able to find your survey by typing in its name into the little search box you see here. Next, when you have searched and been able to find your survey, clicking on it should lead you to a page like this one:

The important thing here, is to switch some stuff under the preferences heading. If you're using Topcat, you want to switch the HTML table to a VOTable, and you want to switch the maximum number of rows from 50 to unlimited. This will allow you to download the full catalogue. I suspect that if you are using Python or RStudio for data analysis, you probably want to keep it in the HTML format.

So once you have your preferences looking like this, you click the "Submit" button in the bottom right of the page, and the table should start downloading.

Great! Now you have your data! How to analyse it though?

Use Topcat!

Topcat is a piece of software developed by Mark Taylor at Nottingham University, purely for the purpose of astrophysics data analysis. As a result of this, it has some really useful features and is in general much easier to use than writing your own code in, for example, Python.

Once you download Topcat, it might take some effort to get your computer to open it, because it is not by a verified developer. That being said, it is safe, so do what you can to get it open.

Loading it up, you should find yourself looking at a grey control panel. On the left will be a blank list of tables, and next to that will be a blank space, and above all of that there will be a toolbar. The first thing you want to do is load your table into Topcat.

So, to do that, you want to click on the left-most button on the toolbar, the one shaped like a file. There, you click "system browser" and go through your files and find the VOTable you downloaded from VizieR (unless you renamed it, it will be called VOTable). This will load your data in. Now, your table list should include your VOTable data. When you have this selected in the main panel, you can use different toolbar buttons to either look at the table itself or visualise the data. Full disclosure, I am not that seasoned with using Topcat's most advanced features, so if you need to know how to use them, I would recommend checking out Mark Taylor's video tutorial here.

For the basics, the first 3 buttons in the toolbar are used to import and export data, the next 6 buttons are used to look at the table, and the following 6 buttons are used to represent the data in graphs. After that, the next 3 buttons are used to: 1- match tables and combine them to make a new table, 2- query remote databases, 3- crossmatch sources against remote tables based on their sky position.

The most important buttons are the 4th one from the left, the 11th button along, and probably the one used for matching tables (it looks like a pair of matchsticks. Get it?). The 4th one allows you to look at and search through your tables, and the 11th one allows you to represent your data on a non-bar graph.

I won't go into a lot of depth here about how to use these 2-3 really important buttons, but if you have questions you can message me and I will try to answer!

Finally, what do you do if you find a source you think you want to investigate further, how do you find out more information about it?

Use SIMBAD, SDSS and other search tools!!

This is my final bit, so hang in there.

There are really convenient search tools for you to look up your sources in, and they all seemingly provide different things. SIMBAD has a bunch of different catalogues loaded into it, including transient catalogues, and you can input the location of your source, and it will either tell you what it thinks it is, or it will tell you what is nearby to your source's location. So firstly, you can find SIMBAD here, and when you go to that link, you should see this:

There are different query methods. You can search by coordinates, criteria, or identifier, so if you have the information for where the source is or what it's called, it should be not too hard to find what you're looking for.

I'm starting with an identifier query for M31, the Andromeda galaxy, just to show you how it works for a well-known, well-defined source:

You can see that SIMBAD has given me data about this source, including a little view of it on the sky, and what it's called and what it is. It has some information about the object's speed and its magnitude in different bands. Andromeda is probably one of the most observed galaxies ever, so there is a lot of information here.

Searching for a more obscure source yields fewer results, with less information about the sources and less certainty that the sources have been correctly identified.

This was a coordinate search for a source I have looked at in WISE data, and it says that there is not an accepted exact match for this source, but that the closest registered object is a white dwarf candidate 0.31 arcseconds away. I can click on that candidate and be provided with a page of information like I was for Andromeda, but with less concrete data. The source I'm searching for is actually an AGN candidate, but it is so un-researched that it simply doesn't show up as anything useful.

Our next thing is the SDSS, the sloan digital sky survey. This contains a lot of spectra for different sources, and does not tend to tell you about nearby sources. For the SDSS, you have to know the RA and DEC of your source in degrees, which is a little annoying. You can find them usually by looking in your table on Topcat.

The SDSS honestly looks like a kid's dress up game from mathgames dot com, but it's an actual serious tool. Sigh. The most important thing is to NOT USE this page at all, and to instead click the little "explore" link under the DR16 logo. That should look like this:

As you can see, this is a bunch of information about the source it automatically highlighted. It's useful info, but you probably don't want to know about this source. You probably want to find your own source here. So, to do that you have to click "search" on the left hand side, which should add these search boxes to the top of the page:

Here, you put in the RA and Dec, and then press the "Go" button next to it. This should give you an info page, like the one above, but with YOUR source. Otherwise, it will give you an error message saying it doesn't know where your source is and it doesn't have a record of it. That's ok, it doesn't mean it doesn't exist, but it could mean that this source is not documented in other large catalogues.

Well, that's all folks! Good luck!

[supernaturalfreewill]

Words: 5,103 Gabriel x Reader Warnings: none! A/N: This is part of a series! Read Part 1 first!

Your name: submit What is this?

The first door standing open down the long hallway was obviously your bedroom, and Gabriel wasn’t shy about stepping inside. At first, he simply stood in the center and glanced around eagerly, bouncing a little on his feet as he surveyed the space.

Cas followed him in much more tentatively, but curious as to what his purpose was.

“This is it, huh?” He strolled over to the small desk in one corner and picked up an open notebook and some loose papers, studying them closely. Apparently, nothing there really held his interest because he abandoned them quickly and started sliding open desk drawers.

“This is—I think this is what humans would call an ‘invasion of privacy,’” Cas said.

“Gabriel, I really don’t think you should—” Cas tried to argue, but the archangel simply shushed him and opened the cover. He ran his fingers over your handwriting—the impressions were deep on the page and he liked the slanting, hurried cursive. “Ghouls in Minnesota, Vampire in New York, Werewolf in Arkansas… This is nothing but hunting notes,” he said with disappointment, flipping through the pages.

“What did you expect?” Cas asked him.

“Something with a little more insight into who Y/N is, perhaps,” Gabriel said, shutting and typing the journal closed again and replacing it in the false bottom of your drawer, kicking it closed with his boot. “Hopes, dreams, roots, deepest secrets… that sort of thing,” he said.

Cas’s brow drew down low over his eyes again. “Knowing Y/N, I seriously doubt you will find any of that in writing in here…”

“Well, that’s just wishful thinking. Best case scenario. I will just have to get creative,” he said. Gabriel spun and looked at the small bedside table. There was a novel sitting on it and he grabbed it, opening it to the bookmark. “Y/N is an avid reader, hmm?” he said, more to himself than to Cas. “This is an ambitious read.” He studied the bookmark which was a folded piece of paper. When he opened it, it was a printed photo of you, Sam and Dean, and Cas. Sam had his arm draped over your shoulders and all of you were smiling for once. Gabriel stared at it for a long moment and Cas watched his expression soften into a thoughtful, faraway look. Finally, he folded it up again gently and replaced it in the novel, leaving it on your side table just the way he had found it.

Next, Gabriel went over to the dresser and glanced at Cas with a smirk on his face. “You know, it’s strange but most humans keep their delicate underthings in the exact same place—top drawer—” he said, grasping the handle.

Cas slammed his hand into the drawer keeping it closed and Gabriel looked at him in surprise. “I really think you’ve done enough spying.” Cas’s voice and expression were stern now, but it only elicited a mischievous glint in Gabriel’s golden eyes.

“Spying? I’m just trying to get to know this Y/N better,” Gabriel argued, doing his best to sound innocent. “I mean, so far all I know is she’s related to the two meatheads and hangs around with you. And, though it may be a surprise to you, that doesn’t actually tell me anything I’d like to know.”

“If you want to get to know her, why don’t you just go visit her now? Or wait and meet her when she’s back.”

Gabriel gave Cas a skeptical look. “Oh, yes. I’m sure Sam and Dean will have no problem with me sniffing around their Baby Sister. They’re not known to be particularly suspicious or protective.” His tone was dripping with sarcasm. “Especially after all those Dead Dean Days…”

Cas grimaced a little at the thought. “Well… you also saved them by facing Lucifer. They will not have forgotten that. You redeemed yourself, at least in part,” Cas said, tilting his head in his familiar habit.

The archangel looked surprisingly uncomfortable with Cas’s sincerity. “Fine. Enough snooping. Come on, brother,” he said, laying a heavy hand on Cas’s shoulder. “Let’s grab a drink and you can tell me all about losing your grace and what mortality feels like.”

Cas frowned, but he didn’t object. He was glad just to get Gabriel out of your room…

_ _ _ _ _ _

Several weeks later

You leaned your head back on the pillows and let out a frustrated groan. “UGH! Where is this doctor?!” you demanded.

Sam gave you a look. “I’m sure he’s on his way,” he said gently, trying to placate you.

You threw off your blankets and climbed out of the hospital bed onto your feet, moving a little hunched over as you rolled your IV stand with you.

“Whoa, whoa! Hey!” Dean jumped up and stopped you. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

“I can’t stay in that bed another minute or I’m gonna lose it!”

“We’re not even sure if you’re going to get released today, so you might as well get used to the idea that you may have to stay in that bed for a couple more days,” he retorted. “So, get back in bed!”

You vehemently pointed a finger in his face. “HEY. You’re not my doctor! You don’t get to boss me around!”

Dean drew himself up to his full height and gave you a severe look.

You didn’t waver. “I’m not scared of you!”

This drew a laugh from Sam and when you glanced over he was shaking his head. “Y/N, please just at least sit down. I’m sure the doctor—”

“—is in!” As if on cue your doctor strolled through the door, you chart in his hand. He gave you a big smile. “Alright, Y/N. Hop back up on the bed again, would you? Let’s see how you’re doing.”

He hadn’t even examined your incision yet and the words were spilling out of you. “Can I go home today?” you asked urgently.

This elicited a laugh from him and he gave you an appraising look. “As soon as I know, you’ll know,” he said diplomatically.

You tried to be a good patient and sit perfectly still as he checked your incision but you couldn’t help fidgeting and chewing your bottom lip. The doctor straightened back up and crossed his arms. “Well, no sign of infection. Incision seems to be healing nicely, so—” “YES!” you exclaimed.

“SO,” he continued through a smile, “I’m going to release you but with very strict instructions. I need you to really hear me right now, Y/N. Okay?”

You nodded eagerly. “Yes. I’m listening.”

“NO lifting anything heavier than a few pounds—you know what, no lifting anything, okay? Absolutes seem safer with you. And you are NOT to be doing anything physical for 3 more weeks, at which time you can start with some easy physical activity. Long walks, some stretching, that kind of stuff. And you will need to get another post-op check-up around then too.”

You nodded. “Okay. I got it.”

“Now, your brothers here ARE now in charge since I can’t be there to keep you in line,” he said, a knowing smile on his face. He must have overheard you and Dean from the hallway.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” you argued.

“I’m not kidding. You need to let them take care of you. And you two,” he said, pointing at Sam and Dean in turn, “need to make sure she rests.”

A gruff laugh escaped Dean. “Easier said than done.”

“I know,” the doctor said. “I’ve been dealing with her for only about a month. You two have been dealing with her for a lifetime,” he joked, shooting you a glance.

“I’m right here, you know!” you burst out. “I can hear everything you’re saying!”

The doctor laughed and held out a hand to you. “Y/N, it’s been a pleasure to watch you recover. Now be well, and rest.”

This time you didn’t have anything snarky to say and just grasped his hand in yours and shook it. “Thank you. For… not letting me die and stuff.”

He laughed and shook his head. “You’re welcome. Gentleman,” he turned to Sam and Dean who both shook his hand and thanked him repeatedly. “The nurse will be in shortly to take care of that IV and check you out. Take care.”

You watched him go with a triumphant smile on your face. Sam and Dean both looked a little anxious, however. “Oh, come on, guys! He said I’m fine. We can go home!”

“You heard the doctor though. Seriously, Y/N. You’re on house arrest,” Dean said forcefully.

“Whatever. I don’t even care. Just get me out of here,” you said climbing down to your feet again. Soon a nurse came in and removed your IV. You kicked Sam and Dean out of the room so you could change out of your hospital gown for the first time in what felt like years. Another few minutes and you were stepping into the hallway, a huge grin on your face.

Sam shouldered your bag and gave you an appraising look. “You alright?” You were still a little hunched over. Straightening up completely still made you sore.

“I’m great,” you said. “Look! I’m wearing actual clothes!” You glanced down at the sweatpants and t-shirt you had pulled on. “Sort of.”

Dean couldn’t help smiling at you fondly while shaking his head. “You sure you don’t want me to go grab a wheelchair? It’s a bit of a walk.”

You scowled at him.

“I’m being serious, Y/N,” Dean said, the gravel in his voice deepening. “You’ve only done short walks around the floor.”

“There is no way in hell you’re getting me in a wheelchair.”

You managed to make it out to the Impala, though Dean had insisted on driving right up to the exit to pick you up. You slid into the back seat and sighed. “Oh, I missed you, Baby,” you said out loud, sinking in to the familiar seat and breathing in that particular smell that always made you remember road trips and hunts and late-night cheeseburgers.

Dean smiled at you in the rearview mirror. He lowered his voice and turned to Sam. “You talk to Cas?” he asked in an undertone.

“No. It still just keeps going straight to voicemail,” Sam said. “But he texted me again… to explain the origins of pineapple,” Sam said, a tight smile on his face. “It took like 30 texts.”

“What the hell is going on with him? He’s been weirder than usual.”

“Well, he has been trapped at the bunker alone for kind of a long time…” Sam said.

“He could have talked with us if he would ever answer his goddamn phone,” Dean countered, turning onto the highway. “Maybe he’s finally cracked.”

“Who?” you asked, leaning forward and resting your hands on the back of the front seat.

“Nobody,” Dean said. You scoffed.

“That’s convincing…” you said under your breath, just loud enough for him to hear.

“Why don’t you just focus on getting all healed up and let Sammy and me worry about everything else, alright?”

“You know, it’s weird, but my cells do that part pretty much on their own. It doesn’t require much conscious thought on my part. So, if someone has cracked—”

“Nobody’s cracked,” Dean said gruffly, hands steady on the wheel.

“You just said—"

“I just said nothing for you to worry about,” Dean said finally.

You let out a frustrated growl and changed tactics. “Fine. I’ll change the subject,” you said smugly.

“Thank you…”

“Any news on Gabriel?” you asked loudly, sinking back into your seat comfortably.

There was a long, silent pause from the front seat and you could see that Dean’s grip on the steering wheel had tightened.

Sam turned partially around, one arm on the seat back and looked at you. “You know there isn’t.” “No, I don’t know that. You two are obviously keeping something from me, so I think it is fair to assume you’re keeping other stuff from me too.”

“We really don’t know anything about Gabriel,” Sam said, sincerity written all over his face.

You chewed your bottom lip anxiously. Sam took in your expression. “Have you—seen him again?” he asked.

“No. No, nothing like that but since that happened, I just have this feeling—he said we would be seeing each other again and it’s like, in my core, I know that’s true.” You looked up and caught Sam’s eyes, they were steady on your face and narrowed slightly in concern. “I know that doesn’t make any sense and I know you and Dean said he’s gone but it’s such a strong feeling. I don’t really know how to explain it.”

“I believe you,” Sam said. “For now, I guess we just have to wait…”

Many hours later, Dean finally pulled the Impala into the underground garage at the bunker and opened the door for you. Inside, an archangel and a graceless angel perked up as they heard noise in the garage. Cas shot upright and glanced over at Gabriel, who only smiled serenely back at him.

“Showtime!”

Cas gave him an apprehensive look and started off in the direction of the garage immediately. Gabriel followed, but at a leisurely pace, seemingly completely unconcerned.

But Cas didn’t know that this was mostly an act. There was a strange sensation in Gabriel’s chest and it was growing the closer he came to the moment when he would see you—meet you—for real this time, not in some mind dreamscape. He couldn’t even explain to himself why but he felt that this moment was going to change everything for him in some way—he knew no reason why that would be true. He had been fascinated with you since he first became aware again and had been thrust into some role connected with you… but he had this feeling, like a heavy block of cement in the middle of his chest sitting on top of his heart which was maddening in its oddity. It was like expectation and something more had solidified and despite all his trying he couldn’t shift it.

Dean pushed through the door into the bunker trailed closely by you, and then Sam hauling your bag and his own. “Cas?!” Dean roared. “Are you alive in here?”

Cas came hurrying around a corner in the hallway and his expression stopped all of you dead in your tracks. His blue eyes were wide and his face was quite pale, further making the shocking blue stand out.

“…what’s going on?” Dean asked. He was immediately reaching for his pistol.

“Don’t panic, but there’s someone here—”

“How is that supposed to make me not panic?!”

“Cas, do I need to get Y/N out of here?” Sam demanded over your shoulder, already trying to move around you to shield you protectively.

You were surprisingly quiet and Dean looked over his shoulder at you. Your heart was pounding in your chest. “Cas, who is it?” you asked quietly.

He only swallowed at the tightness in his throat and opened his mouth to offer some kind of explanation, but no sound came out. You felt like you didn’t really need him to answer anyway. You already knew.

“It’s him, isn’t it?”

A second figure now came around the corner and Dean dropped his duffel bag where he stood, his fists clenched.

“Welcome home, Winchester Clan!” Gabriel said cheerfully, his arms spread wide.

There was just a stretch of tense silence between all of you which the archangel finally broke again. “Dean, if you wouldn’t mind just stepping a liiiittle bit to your right so I can—”

“What the hell are you doing here? How are you here?!” Dean demanded, his jaw tensing.

“That’s how you want to start this?” Gabriel asked, a grimace on his face. “Come on, Dean. I’m here to help. I’m not here to kill you over and over again. Not this time. I promise. Scout’s honor.” He made a small cross over his heart with one finger. Gabriel tilted his head, trying to look around Dean to get a better view of you, but it wasn’t necessary because the next moment you stepped around him slowly.

He couldn’t help the small smile that grew on his face. You found the golden light in his eyes staggering, just as you remembered it from your vision.

“…you,” was all you could get out. Sam and Dean exchanged a tense glance.

He bounced a little on the balls of his feet and slipped his hands into his pockets, actually the result of nerves, but he was hoping it just made him look nonchalant and nonplussed. “Me.”

“You’re—but you’re… What are you doing here?” you asked quietly.

“I told you we’d be seeing each other again, didn’t I? You didn’t believe me?” he asked, cocking one eyebrow at you. You didn’t answer, just peered at him intensely.

He inclined his chin a little as he studied you. “Here—” he said. He moved around Cas and started toward you but was immediately met with loud yells and threats from the Sam and Dean causing him to stop abruptly and raise his hands, palms out. “Guys, guys, guys! Would you two just chill? Really! After all we’ve been through… I’d like to heal what’s left of that nasty gunshot wound if Y/N will let me. Or are you opposed to that? Because she’s in a lot more pain than she’s letting on. I’m guessing she’s hiding it so you two won’t go all crazy protective over her for the rest of her life.”

“No, I’m not!” you argued. Gabriel gave you a skeptical look.

“I can feel it,” he said. When he spoke those words there was something almost desperate in them. “Let me heal you. Please.”

You swallowed hard at the nervous lump in your throat and stepped around Dean again, giving him a small glance. “It’s okay,” you said.

Gabriel stopped right in front of you and gently touched two fingers to your forehead.

You straightened up immediately and breathed in a deep breath, completely filling your lungs, something you hadn’t been able to do without pangs of pain since you’d been shot. Your shoulders relaxed and you gave him a grateful but perplexed look. “Thanks.”

“Welcome home,” he said again, but this time it was quiet, like it was only for your ears. He rubbed the pad of his thumb over the fingertips that had just touched your skin. They felt strange, almost like the sensation when your foot falls asleep.

Dean suddenly interrupted the moment by pushing past Gabriel and heading toward the front of the bunker at high speed. Cas turned and jogged to catch up with him, wilting a little under the scowl Dean sent his way.

“Cas, you couldn’t have given us a heads up?” Dean asked angrily.

“You don’t think I tried? He broke every single phone I had and all the new ones I managed to get a hold of. And it’s not exactly like I could just fly over, is it?” he finished bitterly.

Sam stopped next to the two of them and dropped his duffel bag. “So… all those weird texts weren’t from you,” he said with sudden understanding.

Cas looked confused. “What? Weird texts? No. What weird texts?”

The Winchesters and Cas suddenly heard laughter behind them and turned to see Gabriel standing in the doorway with a satisfied smirk. Their expressions were stern.

“Oh, come on! That series of texts about the fuzzy toilet seat lid covers? The ‘bedtime thoughts’ texts? Pure genius on my part. You have to see the humor in this!” Gabriel simply watched as the muscles in their jaws twitched.

Dean rubbed a hand over the stubble on his chin. “Goddammit. What the hell is going on?” He turned and looked to Sam who was still just staring in Gabriel’s direction with somewhat wide eyes.

“It’s really not that complicated, Dean. I was sent back to watch out for Y/N. And that’s really all I know.”

This caused deep wrinkles in both Sam and Dean’s foreheads. “Okay, first of all, your definition of ‘not complicated’ could use some adjustment. I would say a DEAD archangel coming back to life is pretty complicated. Second, why does she need anyone more than us watching out for her?” Dean growled.

“Well, seeing as she was just shot and almost died I don’t think I need to really answer that question,” Gabriel snarked back.

Dean’s jaw and fists tensed and Cas stepped forward to put a hand on his shoulder to stop him from attempting to throttle the archangel. Gabriel only smiled serenely.

“That wasn’t their fault,” you argued, having just appeared behind Gabriel in the doorway, feeling sick again because you knew your brothers were already blaming themselves. “It could have been any one of us.”

“But it wasn’t,” Gabriel pointed out.

You looked suddenly weary. “I don’t know why we’re still talking about this at all. I’m completely fine. Better than fine now that I’m magically healed me up. I feel like there are more important things we should be discussing.”

Gabriel raised a finger, like he had a sudden idea. “You’re right. Chiefly, I need to know everything about you. Your likes, your dislikes, formative childhood experiences, deepest darkest secrets—”

You crossed your arms over your chest and were about to snark something back at the archangel but Dean beat you to it. “Alright. That’s enough!” he growled. “You were supposedly sent here to protect her, not be a total creep. You’ve just met her and you’re already trying to invade her privacy,” he said gruffly, his green eyes piercing on the angel’s face.

“Well, technically I think he already—” Cas tried to stop himself but it was too late and your eyes snapped over to Gabriel as he winced and anxiously ran a hand through his hair. Your mouth was hanging partially open and your expression was incredulous.

“What the hell did you do?” you demanded. When he didn’t answer and only shrugged vaguely, the corners of his mouth pulling down in a frown, you turned to Cas again who was doing his best to look anywhere but in your direction. “Cas… Cas! Look at me!”

Gabriel spun and locked his eyes on Cas as well. “Brother, if you know what’s good for you, you’ll be quiet…” he said through his teeth, keeping a forced smile fixed on his face.

“We all know you aren’t good at lying, Cas. Even a lie of omission. Are you really going to lie to me? After everything I’ve just been through?” You purposely tugged on his heartstrings and walked toward him so he had no choice but to glance at you as you moved closer. “Cas, I almost died. And you’re not going to tell me what this archangel who is supposedly here to watch out for me was up to?”

Gabriel shot you a look that was both a little stunned and impressed. “That’s low,” he said. You raised your eyebrows at him and then turned back to Cas again.

You could see the internal turmoil crescendoing until it finally burst out of him. “He went through some of your things in your room. I tried to stop him but—”

“Dude!” Sam exclaimed, his jaw clenching with anger. Dean shut his eyes against the rising tide of rage and his fists tightened. `

Your jaw dropped open again and you turned back to Gabriel and away from a very conflicted-looking Castiel. “What the hell!?” you demanded angrily. “Haven’t you heard of privacy? What exactly gave you the right to go through my room?”

He looked a tinge guilty for a moment before rearranging his features into a questioning expression. “Well, I think I should know a little about my charge—”

You shot a glare at him that was piercing and Gabriel felt his throat tighten. “Your charge? Let’s get one thing straight right now… I’m not your ‘charge’. You do not get to boss me around or make decisions for me.”

Gabriel tilted his head and gave you a peculiar look. “Well… strictly speaking I don’t think that’s true… You see, I’m supposed to protect you which means that I get to decide—”

You interrupted him angrily. “No. No, you don’t get to decide.” You looked at Cas and your brothers who all looked pretty unhappy about what had just played out. “I’m going to bed. Goodnight.” As you started down the hall, you heard his footsteps following behind you and as you reached the door to your room you spun to face him. “What do you think you’re doing?” you demanded.

Gabriel looked around as if he was expecting you to be talking to someone other than him, but he saw no one else. “Me?”

“Yes, you.”

“I’m just doing my job. You said you’re going to bed so I’m going to watch over you and—”

You angrily bit the inside of your cheek. “No. You’re not. You can stay the hell away from me while I sleep. You’re not setting foot in my room again.”

“Oh, come on! Y/N, please. You’re not really mad about—”

You turned abruptly and slammed the door in his face. Okay, so maybe you were really mad… “You know I can just appear in your room! I’m an archangel. An oak door isn’t—” The door whipped open again and you stood there fuming.

“Go away.” Your voice was quiet but Gabriel could easily hear the anger in it and for now he decided just to back off. You slammed the door in his face again and he sighed heavily, running a hand back through his hair.

Sometime later, Cas wandered down the hall and found Gabriel sitting on the floor, his back up against the wall just beside your shut door, his legs stretched out in front of him. Gabriel looked at him as he approached.

Cas didn’t say anything, just took a seat beside the archangel on the floor, stretching his legs out in front of him and staring at his shoes. Gabriel broke the silence first. “Look how far I’ve come,” he said, his tone clearly sarcastic. “I used to lead legions and now I’ve been assigned as some kind of glorified babysitter and here I am, a fallen archangel, sitting on the floor outside her door.”

“You probably wouldn’t be sitting here on the floor if you hadn’t botched that meeting with Y/N so spectacularly,” Cas mused. To his surprise the archangel actually laughed and glanced over at him.

“Yeah, I think you’re right about that, Castiel.” Gabriel sighed, leaning his head back against the wall. “I have a tendency toward self-destructive behavior.”

“When I was an angel, I mean—with my grace, so did I,” Cas said. “Perhaps there is something about being so-called ‘immortal’ that makes us reckless with our own lives.”

Gabriel sighed again heavily. “Perhaps.”

Cas looked over at him and he could see genuine worry on his brother’s face. “Don’t worry. She’ll be fine in the morning. She’s tough. Strong. But kind-hearted. She’ll let you make up for it.” Cas fiddled with the hem of his sleeve. “I see such a mixture of Sam and Dean in her.”

This only drew Gabriel’s brow down more deeply. “That’s what I’m worried about,” he said thoughtfully. “I don’t know why I was sent to protect her, but I do know how reckless the Winchesters are with their lives. And all without a single drop of grace.”

Cas’s lips curved ever so slightly in a thoughtful smile. “Yes. But selfless.”

Gabriel glanced over at his brother and felt a pang in his heart for his graceless friend. “Do you miss your trench coat and suit?” he asked him.

Cas’s eyes lifted in surprise at the question and he glanced down at his sweatshirt, picking a piece of lint off the sleeve. “I do. But… it felt wrong wearing it somehow. Like being in a suit of armor while not on the battlefield.”

Gabriel nodded and leaned his head back against the wall. A few moments of comfortable silence passed before he broke it. “I’m sorry for being such a dick since I arrived. All the phones… all the lying… all the snooping. It’s strange to say but I had a level of-—anxiety,” he tilted his head in a question, not even entirely sure that was the right word for what he had been feeling, “about meeting Y/N. And I still messed it up.”

Cas sighed again and patted a gentle hand on his brother’s shoulder. “Tomorrow is a new day.” He climbed to his feet and looked down at the archangel, a strange sight sitting like a child on the floor during time-out. “Tomorrow. Goodnight, brother.”

[stardust-walker]

High Hopes: Chapter 9

Previous Chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

word count: 2774

______________________________________________________

It wasn't too long before everything came crashing down on her again as Rick honked his horn in front of her and Dove slammed on the brakes to keep from causing a pile up. She grumbled to herself as she reached into her bag to pull out her sunglasses, only to pull out a necklace with a small black crystal attached to it right along with it. The brunette paused for a moment before she let out an annoyed sigh, reached into the bag again, pulled the necklace over her head, and turned off the car. "What's the issue?" She called up to the group by the RV as she exited the car.

"She broke down again," Dale called back to her before her continued to speak to Rick. Dove groaned and ran a hand through her hair as she moved forward to sit in the grass across from the RV next to Carol.

"This is bullshit," Dove mumbled as she twirled the lighter in her hand.

Carol placed her hand on top of the lighter and caused her sister to stop. "He told them about it before. Now you stop it with that thing, we don't need you startin a forest fire or something on top of this." Dove hated when Carol went into 'lecture-mom' mode. It reminded her too much of when she was younger; before she pulled her shit together.

"Sorry, just nervous I guess," Dove sighed as she switched to playing with the necklace around her neck. Carol only hummed a reply as she stroked Sophia's hair. Jacqui rushed out of the RV and nearly succeeded in scaring Dove half to death as she did so. The young woman jumped to her feet as the other woman began to explain.

"It's Jim. It's real bad. I don't think he's gonna last much longer." Jacqui looked around for help. Rick, as always, jumped to help. Sophia let out a quiet whimper from behind Dove as she wrapped her arms around Carol's waist.

Dove stepped closer to the RV as Daryl walked up the few steps and stopped. She hovered by the doorway, her fingers clutched the stone around her neck as she waited for the man to come back out. It was quicker than she thought, but when Daryl descended he didn't have much of an answer. He just shook his head and mumbled. "Looks real bad. So much for givin him a chance."

Dove leaned against the side of the RV and listened as Rick and Jim spoke in the RV. He was asking them to leave him there. She had to respect him for making a decision for himself but it still hurt. It still felt like a failure because she hadn't been able to help him, not that she would have been able to help much anyway. She wiped the tears off her face as Rick came back out from the RV and spotted her. "…He wants us to leave him here."

Dove sighed. "I heard."

Rick ran a hand through his hair and shook his head, "It's what he says he wants."

Dove tapped her foot on the ground as the others joined the group to listen. It was hard for everyone to take in, no doubt about it.

Carol squinted her eyes at Rick, confused. "He's lucid and asking for this?" Dove pushed off of the RV and walked over to her sister's side. She leaned her forehead on Carol's shoulder and squeezed her eyes shut.

Dale spoke up. "Back at camp, when I said Daryl might be right, you misunderstood. I would never go along with callously killing a man! I was just gonna suggest that…we ask Jim what he wants." Dove let out a heavy sigh as she straightened up.

"I mean, I guess I kind of meant the same thing back there. I didn't think that taking a pickaxe to a man's head was the right idea but…by not giving him a choice, look how much more he's suffered for it," Dove motioned to the RV with tears in her eyes. "Because we didn't give him a chance back at camp he's suffered for longer than he had to and for what?" Her voice broke as Carol pulled her into a tight hug. Lori placed a comforting hand on her shoulder as the men continued to speak.

It was Shane who caught her attention. "I don't know if I'll be able to live with leaving a man to die on the side of the road."

Lori spoke up once again, "It's not your call. Either one of you. It's Jim's call."

That was that. It all seemed to happen so fast. Dove pulled Sophia to the side as they brought him down out of the camper. Jim had never been a big guy, but he looked like the walking definition of fragility at that moment as Shane and Rick carried him down the steps and across the road. Dove followed close behind Carol as the group made its way up the hill. She had seen so much death in the past few days that it seemed like a nightmare she was never going to wake up from.

Jacqui knelt down and stroked Jim's cheek in a comforting way and Dove turned her gaze up to the sky. Tears blurred her vision as she moved up again in the procession. Dove stood next to Glenn, she felt the gentle squeeze on her wrist as Glenn turned to move back down the hill. But Dove didn't follow the others down, instead she moved forward and dropped to her knees in front of Jim.

"I'm sorry," she choked out as she fought to keep from crying, "I'm sorry that I couldn't help you or get there faster with the guns I…"

Jim just shook his head, "Ok, Sawyer. Gonna be with my family now." He already sounded like he was so far away from the grassy hilltop. Dove nodded her head and managed a weak smile as she sucked in a deep breath and rose to her feet. She was surprised to see Daryl still stood there as she turned to walk back down the hill. With a nod to Jim, the redneck motioned for Dove to descend the hill first. She paused for a moment before she pulled the keys from her pocket and made her way back down the hill. As Dove got back to the car, she was glad that she was alone once again. At least no one could judge her for crying now.

~

The ride seemed to take forever, but when they finally came to a stop Dove couldn't find herself wanting to get out. It was only the sight of her family exiting the car in front of her that pushed her to open the door and climb out.

The smell was almost as bad as Atlanta had been, but maybe even worse considering how many bodies littered the ground. Dove gagged as she raised a hand to cover her mouth. She grabbed Sophia's hand as Carol wrapped an arm around her and led them along with the rest of the group. She just hoped there was someone alive in there and this wasn't all for nothing.

She watched as Shane attempted to push the garage doors up and shook her head. "I don't think that's gonna work with these. Odds are there's magnets and all other types of crap keeping that thing on lockdown," she hissed as the man began to pound on the door.

She turned quickly as Glenn shouted about walkers. It was taken out quickly by Daryl, but then it descended into chaos just as quickly. "You led us into a graveyard!"

Dale attempted to plead with the man, "He made a call."

Daryl just shouted right back, "He made the wrong damn call!"

Dove watched as Shane approached him and tried to get him to shut up, but that was just as aggressive. Despite Carol's protest, Dove stepped forward and shoved herself right between the two men, effectively pushing Shane back as she reasoned quietly with Daryl. "Listen, how was Rick supposed to know. He made the wrong call, it happened. Don't make it fucking worse by screaming and draw in more walkers or I will be the one to put you in a god damn choke hold," she finished with a hiss.

Shane spoke up again as the others panicked, "Fort Benning, Rick…"

Andrea finally spoke up, "On what? No food, no fuel? That's 100 miles and a suicide mission."

"125. I checked the map," Glenn corrected her.

Dove ran back over and grabbed Carol's arm, "Cmon we gotta go. Let's just take your car and go if they can't make a decision."

Carol's eyes grew wide as she shook her head, "I'm not leaving everyone else here to die."

Suddenly, Rick called back to them. "The camera! It moved."

"You imagined it," Dale shook his head.

"It moved. I saw it move! Someone's alive in there," Rick began to shout and Dove's chest began to grow tight with panic. Rick was pounding on the door and it was making way too much noise. "I know you can hear me. Please help us, we have women and children! We have no food, hardly any gas! We have nowhere else to go." Dove squeezed Carol's arm tighter as she watched Lori try to calm Rick down. "You're killing us!" Rick began to pound the door and scream over again. All of a sudden it seemed like Rick's screams had gotten through and she squinted her eyes as the bright fluorescents invaded her vision.

~

Dove could only look around the huge building with wide eyes as she took in everything. Then she heard someone load a rifle. Her attention instantly went to a man who shouted towards them, "Anyone infected?" Rick's answer about Jim seemed to satisfy the man enough. "Why are you here what do you want?"

Rick answered, plain and simple. "A chance."

"That's asking an awful lot these days," the man answered back. Dove watched the man as he glanced around, surveying the group one by one. For a moment, she thought he was going to tell them all to go to hell and throw them out. Then he spoke again and it felt like a weight lifted off her chest. "You all submit to a blood test. That's the price of admission."

Rick nodded his head. "We can do that."

"You got stuff to bring in, do it now. Once this door closes, it stays closed." The doctor explained as he approached the group.

"Glenn," Dove called over as he began to run out the door with some of the other men to get the things from the cars. "Just grab my bag from Carol's car. You can't miss it." Glenn nodded at her and she embraced him happily as she accepted her things back into her arms a few minutes later.

She wasn't as happy when she ended up sandwiched in between Carol and Daryl in the packed elevator. She held her bag tightly in front of her as she stared straight ahead at a spot on the wall above Lori's head. Daryl broke the awkward silence. "Doctors always go around packing heat like that," he questioned the doctor and Dove couldn't help herself.

She landed a well concealed punch right to his forearm as she mumbled, "fuckin jackass,"

To her surprise, the doctor answered back seriously. "There were plenty lying around. I familiarized myself with them. But you all look harmless enough." Dove rolled her eyes. "Except you," Jenner pointed to Carl and Dove could barely hold back a laugh.

Once the doors opened, Dove walked closely behind Carol and Sophia. She took in her surroundings as she walked. "We underground," Carol piped up.

"Why. You claustrophobic," the doctor questioned her.

"A little," Carol answered.

"A lot," Dove replied.

Dr. Jenner glanced over his shoulder at them, "Try not to think about it."

Dove rolled her eyes, threw a hand in the air, and mumbled to herself, "Oh wow why haven't I just thought of that before. I'm cured." She thought she heard Daryl snort somewhere behind her and she trained her focus back on her surroundings. This place looked way too sterile. So sterile that it made her skin crawl. Her hazel eyes burned as more lights turned on in the room in front of them.

"Where is everybody," Rick questioned the other man. Maybe that was what was bothering her. There were all these rooms, all these doorways but no one else was around as far as they'd seen.

"I'm it. It's just me here." Jenner answered and Dove felt a chill run down her spine. That didn't seem good at all.

"What about the person you were speaking to? VI?" Lori spoke up from the back of the group.

"VI, say hello to our guests," Jenner called out into the nothingness of the room around them. A computerized voice echoed from the speakers around them.

Dove waited in line to get her blood taken and winced as the needle was inserted into her arm. "So a blood test can really tell if we're infected? I mean, none of us have been bitten."

The doctor just smiled at her as he pulled the needle from her arm and motioned for her to get out of the chair. "Yes. A blood test can tell."

~

Of all things, Dove hadn't been expecting the CDC to have such a collection of wine and she made sure to say so about 5 times. She sat in between Carol and Jacqui, a genuine smile on her face for the first time in what felt like months. "You know," Dale explained, "In Italy, children have a little wine with their dinner."

"I think that sounds like good ol' uncle Dale has had a little too much wine with his dinner if you ask me," Dove whispered to Jacqui before she let out a snort of laughter at her own stupid joke.

"When Carl is in Italy or France, then he can have some but we're in Georgia so that's a no," Lori laughed as she placed a hand over Carl's glass.

"What's it gonna hurt. Come on," Rick chimed in.

The group all sat still as Carl took a sip, only to promptly make a sour face. Dove shook her head and raised her own glass to take a sip. "That's my boy," Lori stated as she poured the wine from Carl's glass into her own.

Dove reached across the table and grabbed the bottle of wine and poured more into her glass. "You wanna slow down there," Jacqui joked as she eyed her glass.

"Listen, I was a therapist. I could probably drink on a professional level at this point, I'm good." Dove shook her head as she placed the bottle back down on the table to more laughs.

"Better stick to soda pop there, bud," Shane laughed at Carl.

"Not you Glenn." Daryl shouted as he walked around the table. Dove turned in her chair, an arm draped over the back so she could see Glenn.

"What," Glenn grinned, his face already a little pink whether it was from the attention being on him or the alcohol.

"Keep drinking, little man. I wanna see how red your face can get," Daryl joked. Dove stopped mid-sip in an attempt to not choke on her drink. Carol patted Dove on the back.

"New rule everyone, we carry alcohol with us wherever we go," Dove raised a hand in the air.

"Why's that," Dale questioned from across the table.

Dove shrugged her shoulders. "Because it actually seems to make Daryl a little more tolerable," she laughed as she ducked her head back into her glass as the group seemed to laugh in agreement. Daryl rolled his eyes as he held out his hand for the wine bottle and actually thanked Dove when she handed it to him.

The clinking on Rick's glass brought everyone back to order for a moment. "We haven't thanked our host yet," Rick stood up.

Dove raised her glass as Dale said his thanks, followed by a loud shout of "Booyah," from Daryl.

Dove turned her head, her hazel eyes locked with Carol's for a second as the other woman actually laughed and raised her own glass. Sophia even seemed to be enjoying herself and for that, she would always be somewhat grateful to Dr. Edwin Jenner for the few hours of peace he has given her family.

_________

@crossbowking​ @momc95​ @chaotic-gary-king-stan​​

[gale-gentlepenguin]

ML Fic: Soulmate Survey Part 1

(Link to the idea) that made me want to write it instead of working on my OTHER FICS.

(Master post)

_______________________________________________________________________

“Soulmate Searcher?” Marinette questioned with intrigue and confusion.

“Its an app that just got a global release!” Alya answered. “At first it was only released in America, but it became a huge hit and now it has international servers.”

The designer looked at her friend with even more confusion.

“So why is it so popular? And why did you want me to install it on my phone?” Marinette inquired.

“Its an app that lets you find the special someone who is your significant other. Alya explained. “Its a tried and true compatibility tester.”

Marinette’s intrigue dissipated, in her mind it was just like those cheesy magazine quizzes they put in magazines to see which celebrity  you would marry. Marinette had long outgrown that phase, especially when last time she took one it did not say she would be paired with Adrien but XY! Gross. 

“Oh. Well count me out. Those quizzes are just a load of...”

“No way lady dude.” Nino chimed in. “This thing is legit. It has the highest matchmaking app back in the States and it is like down to a science and stuff.”

Marinette looked at the DJ skeptically.

Alya placed her hand on her shoulder.

“ It is more then just a personality quiz. You put in your name, your age, dating age range, preference, and so on, and then you answer a bunch of questions that allows the app to gage your personality, mentality and emotional impulse. Then after thats done, it will match you with the top 10 people who have the highest compatibility with you in a 50 mile radius. You can see percentage rates and everything. Then you can decide if you want to message any of the people on the list or block them. They can only see your name, photo and the percentage.” Alya detailed.

“So then all a person needs to do is know what your answers are and copy them.”

“An interesting Hypothesis but sadly incorrect.” Max answered from behind the group.

“Sorry to intrude, but I too had my doubts about the app until I learned about how the app’s algorithm worked. All questions given are randomized and answering the questions the exact same way even if someone did get the same questions does not guarantee 100% compatibility. I made several dummy accounts and rigged them in order to make them both have identical questions and answers, but they did not achieve 100% compatibility.” The class egghead began to explain. 

“Having run the test numerous times with numerous accounts, the algorithm matches people with similar beliefs but not identical,  as having too much in common does not mean soul mate, it can be seen as suffocating. I have not yet cracked the theorem of how to get 100%. The highest I have been able to get is 93%.  It is as if it is a perfect formula for compatibility.” Max concluded.

Marinette had to admit her interest was peeked.

“So its a one time questionnaire and then done?” Marinette pressed with more interest.

“Well the first questionnaire takes an hour or two so it has enough data for a base compatibility profile. Then you answer 10 questions every day for 2 weeks to reaffirm any errors it might have made. Thats how the App is so successful. After about 2 weeks, your profile will be established. It was able to cut the margin of error down to 1.9%” Max exclaimed. “Its the pinnacle of mathematical perfection.”

“Thanks dude, couldn't have explained it better... really.” Nino thanked the robot enthusiast.

“Anytime, now I must head off. Markov and I have more tests to run.” Max head out and left the three teens to their own devices.

Marinette thought about it, she really didn't have much to lose trying it out.

“I even got Adrien to install it. He said he will fill it out after fencing.” Alya Whispered.

Marinette realized she had to do it. What if Adrien was on the app and some other girl had a high compatibility with him before she had a chance to try it. What if he fell in love with that mystery girl, got married and then bought a hamster!?

“Okay, I will take the quiz.” Marinette exclaimed with Confidence.

“Atta girl!”

______________________________________________________________________

Marinette had gone with Alya back to the Dupain Bakery in order to answer the questions in peace.

In Marinette’s room, Alya was relaxing as she watched the Designer answer the questions as honestly as possible.

“Now Girl, odds are the percentage maybe around the 70% mark, But Knowing you and Adrien, I bet you two will make it into the 80′s.” Alya answered.

Marinette nodded, half listening as she focused on answering.

“Nino and I got an 85%, which was pretty high. Ivan and Myléne only got a 79%. So no worries even if its in the 70′s”

“DONE!” Marinette exclaimed as she fell back. She was mentally exhausted. The questions were surprisingly more in depth then she expected.

She pressed submit and waited. Staring at her phone as it ‘processed her answers’

Alya stood up walking over to the bluish-black haired designer.

“Well.”

The list popped up.

Marinette scrolled through from 10 to 1. No Adrien. She felt herself sigh deeply.

“He isn't on it...” Marinette spoke defeated.

Alya took a look.

“Sorry girl, It might be he hasn't uploaded his profile yet.” Alya tried to encourage her friend who was burying her head in her pillow. 

“You think?”

“He is a busy guy, but also, you need to see who is number one on the list. A certain guitarist you happen to be fond off.” Alya said with a smile.

Marinette pulled her head up and took her phone. Sure enough, it was Luka who was number one on the list. He had an 80% compatibility rating with her, which was at least 20% higher then the guy in second place. Maybe this was a sign that she should move on from Adrien and ask Luka out.

“Maybe I should message Luka, If he believes in this sort of thing.” Marinette spoke with a blush on her face.

Alya nodded.

“Do what you think is right girl, Adrien or not, you deserve a guy that will make you happy.” 

“Thanks Alya, you are the best.” Marinette smiled sweetly at her best friend.

She clicked on the profile. The pop up asked if she would like to message the user Luka Couffaine.

Marinette paused, she was nervous about doing this. It was as if this was her crossroads. Would she go for it?

_____________________________________________________________________

“DONE!” Adrien exclaimed as he fell back on his bed. He was mentally exhausted as well as physically. He told Alya he would try out the app as soon as he was free from fencing.

“I don't get why you even bothered with those dumb questions.” A grouchy floating cat creature commented.

“Its an in depth Compatibility test Plagg. This could be the best way of finding My lady.”

Plagg looked at the model with skepticism.

“What makes you think that you would be matched up with Ladybug? You don't even know who she is.” 

“We are soulmates, so obviously we will have the highest compatibility.” Adrien answered with confidence as he sat up.

Plagg rolled his eyes.

“You do know just because you were picked to be the cat miraculous wielder doesn't mean your soulmate is ladybug. There have been Ladybug’s and Chat noir’s that haven't gotten together.”

“It isn't because we were chosen together. I can just feel it Plagg. I know we are meant to be. And if for some reason the girl with the highest compatibility with me isn't Ladybug, I will still likely find someone that I can find myself liking. But knowing my Lady, she and I will have a compatibility of 85 maybe even 90%” Adrien answered with a loving sigh. “Oh, its ready.”

Adrien smiles at his phone before looking at the list.

“Oh Kagami is on here. 79% Thats pretty good. But she is only number two? Huh, so then who is number one?” Adrien spoke aloud as he scrolled. As he saw the name that was number one his face turned beet red and and he fell back on the bed.

“Adrien!?” Plagg exclaimed as he flew to the frozen blond. “What happen.... oh no Fucking way.”

_______________________________________________________________________

Marinette was about to press the button when another pop up appeared.

“List updated?”

Marinette clicked out of Luka’s profile and noticed he was now at second place.

“Luka got moved to second.” Marinette spoke with surprise.

“What? Then whose first?”

Marinette scrolled up. Her eyes went Wide.

“ADRIEN!?!?” Marinette shouted.

Alya smiled.

“I knew it! I told you he would be on your list! And Number one to boot. So what  is the percentage. 82? 85% Like Nino and I?”

“100...” Marinette spoke hardly audible.

Alya couldn't hear.

“How much?”

Marinette turned her phone to Alya.

Alya’s jaw dropped.

“1.... 100%!!!!!!!!!!”

_______________________________________________________________________

Plagg could not contain his laugher. The blond was still frozen staring at his screen. Adrien had no idea how right he was. His Lady and him were perfect for each other. Plagg was absolutely loving every second of this. 

“P-Plagg.”

The black cat managed to calm down.

“Ye Ha HA! Yea Adrien?” Plagg responded between laughing fits.

“Marinette is Ladybug.”

Plagg sobered up quick.

“What... What makes you say that?” Plagg spoke, trying his best and failing at hiding the fact that Adrien was right. Thankfully Adrien was too out of it to notice.

Plagg pauses.

“Ladybug is my soulmate, Marinette scored perfect compatibility with me  on the soulmate app. Even with error included, the chances of that happening are…”

“It’s a silly quiz.” Plagg shouted. Tikki would kill him if Adrien found out at the wrong time. He had to play dumb.

Adrien thought about it, maybe he was overthinking it, plus Alya and Nino scored around 85%. Maybe the system was glitching out? 100% was unheard off according to what he found about the app, even with people who tried it and have been married for decades.

“I guess you are right… Besides, you answer questions each day, the percentages will shift. Maybe the system will correct itself, though I should ask Marinette what her thoughts are about the match up tomorrow. Though... even if it isn't Ladybug... Marinette is a pretty nice person to have good compatibility with.”

Adrien felt himself entertaining the thought of him and Marinette together. It seemed really, really nice. He found himself blushing at the thought. He quickly shook the thought off. He was getting ahead of himself. What if Marinette didn't feel the same way he did? What if Luka saw the compatibility score that Marinette got with him and decided not to date Marinette because of it. Marinette does really like that musician, what if Marinette hates him for ruining her chance at happiness!?

Adrien took a calming breath. He won't say anything, the app still needs to fine tune his profile. he is sure it will correct itself if it needs to within the two weeks, after that, he will look into it.

“I am sure that things will fix themselves.” Adrien said as he turned away from the cat Kwami, though part of him really hoped that the 100% would stay.

_______________________________________________________________________

THERE I FINISHED part 1

If you want part two, please let me know. I love hearing feedback and it feeds my impulsive need to write.

[prosopopeya]

New Year’s Meme

this survey has been a tradition among my friend group for YEARS, but i haven’t filled it out since 2015 apparently. i’m not entirely sure why except 2016 was the year a lot of stuff changed for me, namely in that i finally got out of school in some form and started a new job, but i also had a few health problems that kept plaguing me (thyroid medicine being off, vitamin d) and my anxiety was all over the place. so here we go i’m doing it again and feel free to do it too if you want!!

1. What did you do in 2020 that you’d never done before? tried on wedding dresses. taught virtually. dealt (poorly) with drunk teenagers. performed in a pep rally. wore face masks all the time. i’m going to lump in living with someone. jon moved in october 2019, but i don’t think i did this quiz last year so. taught ap.

2. Did you keep your New Years’ resolutions and will you make more for next year? i don’t really like resolutions. they put too much pressure on me and i am a fragile person when it comes to setting expectations and living up to them. i did want to try to read more this year, and i maintained that until the pandemic, and then just kind of gave up requiring myself to do anything but live.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? i don’t think so. a coworker did.

4. Did anyone close to you die? jon’s cousin committed suicide in march or april. the circumstances were pretty upsetting. um. andy died in february, very suddenly. andy was my high school boyfriend for four years with whom i had a very... he scarred me in a lot of ways when it comes to sex and consent. it’s taken me a long time to unpack all of that. and i struggle with how much any of that was his fault or just bc he was a stupid kid too. our mutual friends had nothing but nice things to say about him on fb. anyway. he would guilt me into saying he’d kill himself if we broke up, and jon’s cousin killed himself over his girlfriend. so that was a complex part of the year.

5. What countries did you visit? none. literally the week before the quarantine, we went to asheville to visit jon’s cousin.

6. What would you like to have in 2021 that you lacked in 2020? maybe a different job? or at least some peace at doing mine.

7. What date from 2020 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? march 13 we cancelled classes and had a technology training day; the 15th we had another one, and then we were virtual the rest of the term. it was such a sudden shift and while i so loved working from home tbh, it was such a relief after a supremely shitty january/february work-wise, i still had a lot of keyed-up, stressful days centered around transitioning to being the senior upper school spanish teacher. i hate it!

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? writing 50k in the month of november. i have literally never done that before and actively reject nano as being typically unhealthy for how my mind works, so it was nice to do it entirely by accident.

9. What was your biggest failure? mishandling the drunken teenagers on that field trip in january.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? i sit crosslegged in my virtual teaching chair and i did it so much that my ankle hurt for the entire summer.

11. What was the best thing you bought? we put a deposit on our elopement in ireland. jon’s wedding ring. (i didn’t buy my wedding dress.)

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? my best friend at work who keeps me sane and is represented by benny in my au, which other than the fact that he is not my sidepiece, is perfect he is crucial to my survival at work and i love him so much. (also he is gay and the french teacher so the benny parallels just keep coming). everyone who tore down a statue in virginia (and other places, but especially monument avenue). everyone putting their lives on the line during this pandemic.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? guess! but aside from all the obvious, i found out a friend of mine at work voted for trump. my work bff and i had been trying for years to sway his politics, but that had us both deciding to give up on him.

14. Where did most of your money go?  food, ALCOHOL. god., our savings account. i did a pretty excellent job saving this year, though a good deal of that is because jon moved in and makes more money than me, and also we split all the bills.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? my wedding dress but strangely only when i went to try it on after it came in bc after the purchase i was so sure i’d made every mistake possible. my wedding band. wellbutrin changing my whole life. and, last but certainly not least, the gay angel and the bi(lingual) hunter. i wouldn’t have survived nov-dec in school without that distraction. the election.

16. What song(s) will always remind you of 2020? the entirety of taylor swift’s oeuvre this year, maybe specifically “this is me trying”

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:  i. Happier or sadder? happier, i suppose, perhaps contrary to what should be the case, but wellbutrin is a hell of a drug. ii. Older or wiser? wiser. ii. Richer or poorer? richer.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of? reading. cleaning. exercising.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of? stressing. chaperoning.

20. How will you be spending Christmas? so, an update; last year was the first year i didn’t go to my mom’s for christmas. i was supposed to see her for thanksgiving last year, but she basically told us not to come bc she wasn’t feeling up to it (cool!), and we went to jon’s for christmas and my mom’s for new year’s. 

this year, obviously we couldn’t go to my mom’s. instead, we rented a little cabin by the lake. it was perfect; it was really really nice inside, the beds were SO SOFT, the pillows were the best things i have ever laid my head on, like i took off the pillowcases to try to find the brand. we had a little tiny christmas tree with tiny ornaments from walmart that we decorated. the 23rd, we went and picked up our wedding bands. we slept two nights in the (cold) back bedroom so i could wake up and look out at the lake. it snowed for christmas. :)

we opened presents on christmas eve, per jon’s family’s tradition. on christmas eve, we also went to his family farm and sat outside and hung out a little. every year his family does like a secret santa sort of thing and i got my first present in that exchange, which is notable bc jon and i are not yet officially married. i got a remote control car -- jon’s idea bc i couldn’t think of anything, and he was so delighted to hear that i loved playing with rc cars when we went to the beach as a kid.

christmas morning we facetimed my parents and opened some presents together. then jon and i marathoned mandalorian (after spending the previous few days watching several die hard movies), and then we watched wonder woman 1984 which was a bad movie.

21. How will you be spending New Year’s Eve? ok LAST year for new year’s, we were in a hotel room, so that was nice, bc it meant minimal stress with my parents. i had always wanted to go to this restaurant near us that has a special new year’s menu, so we did that. the night before or after i think we went to cheesecake factory, which was also amazing.

this year currently i’m tumbling and he’s playing pokemon, and in a bit we’ll try to time it so we finish schitt’s creek in time for the new year.

22. Did you fall in love in 2020? i re-fell in love with supernatural so that was nice.

23. How many one-night stands? 0. i submit we should randomly change question 23 each year to something more relevant to any of our life experiences.

24. What was your favorite TV program? what did i even watch this year. schitt’s creek. mandalorian. i mean obviously we know supernatural. the circle. are you the one (the queer season). pose. unsolved mysteries. we’re here! perry mason. watchmen. oh maybe that mcdonald’s monopoly fraud documentary. avenue 5. i’ll be gone in the dark. of those i think my favorite maybe is... pose or we’re here.

OKAY UM. on my 2014 version of this there were a bunch of questions about tv shows that i’m putting back in if only for the memories:

25. Which TV shows did you start watching in 2020? the haunting of bly manor, which we still need to finish. derry girls.

26. Which TV shows did you let go of in 2020? HERE’S WHY I WANTED TO RESURRECT THESE. here was my answer in 2015: “supernatural. goodbye, my sweet prince.” CAN YOU EVEN FUCKING BELIEVE

27. Which TV shows did you mean to get into but didn’t in 2020? Why? so far, queen’s gambit and that one on hulu with catherine the great. EVENTUALLY. 28. Which TV shows do you intend on checking out in 2020? fleabag. queen’s gambit. 29. Which TV show do you think you might let go of in 2020 unless things significantly improve? idk i drop things pretty regularly if they don’t entertain me 30. Which TV show impressed you least in 2020? GUYS HERE’S MY ORIGINAL 2015 ANSWER: “supernatural. :(”

anyway back to the rest of the quiz:

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? every person who refuses to listen to facts and information.

26. What was the best book you read? killers of the flower moon: the osage murders and the birth of the fbi, or the his dark materials series.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery? well i knew about tswift so i’m not going to count her albums. i will count this song that jon played for me once in the car that got stuck in my head for two weeks straight and led me down into a great related-songs spotify playlist: through the roof ‘n underground.

28. What did you want and get? a wedding dress and a very specific kind of wedding band. a gay angel. a christmas getaway. animal crossing.

29. What was your favorite film of this year? idk i don’t know how many films i saw this year. maybe mucho mucho amor: the legend of walter mercado

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? i was 32. we went to an escape room with a BUNCH of people -- work bff, my old work bff and his wife (old bc he quit and we’ve fallen out of touch :(), the cool new physics teacher and his fiancee, and the aforementioned trump voter and his wife, before we knew... we went out for brunch/lunch after. it was pretty great!

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? not having to chaperone that school trip in january. dean being bi in english as well as spanish. cas just ilke, appearing in 15x20. not having to physically go back to work this fall.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2020? no! real! pants!

34. What kept you sane? jon. supernatural (in a way?). animal crossing for a while. wellbutrin! i haven’t really been able to detail this yet, but finally i did something about tumblr and my therapist making me think about adhd. my doctor gave me wellbutrin (bc i lack any official diagnosis and was on anxiety meds anyway, and he was like let’s try this!) and it’s fucking. it’s a fucking godsend. surprisingly enough, my students. trying to provide them a safe space has been a calming thing for me.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? jensen ackles’ silence. misha collins again, i guess.

36. What political issue stirred you the most? the summer was so fucking intense. i guess though it was me trying to exert my influence in a responsible way with my students without trying to try to make them feel uncomfortable but then one kid was a vocally upset trump supporter after the election and i had to try to defuse that situation.

37. Who did you miss? my old work bff. several old friends that i’ve fallen out of touch with bc i have no object permanence.

38. Who was the best new person you met? people i met through the spn resurgence!

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2020: if you manifest it in an au, it will come. no really though. maybe that expectations are only as important as i make them out to be.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year: usually i have a hard time coming up with anything for this and i default to looking at my most played songs of the year. my most played song of the year received each and every one of its plays within the month of november and you can guess why. anyway see if this works

I had all and then most of you Some and now none of you Take me back to the night we met I don't know what I'm supposed to do Haunted by the ghost of you Take me back to the night we met - the night we met, lord huron

[scaredofheroin]

Captain N - Chapter 12: Passing Through

The first of the group to wake from their slumber was Captain N. As he groggily regained his bearings and remembered he slept on the grass previously occupied by Castlevania, he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. Glancing around, he found Pit, Falco and Zelda still lost in slumberland. Pit laid splayed out on the ground, Falco slept propped up against a tree and Zelda maintained her regal demeanor even in her slumber. Captain N slowly and quietly got up onto his feet, further surveying the area. The sun was only just visible over the lush tree line, transforming the scenery from a dark, foreboding maze of fauna to a lush and vibrant forest. Morning dew formed on the grass and leaves, save for the patches of grass taken up by the four. Captain N stepped away from the four, stretching his arms with a deep groan. With the occasional sound of birds chirping and the gentle breeze brushing through the tree branches, he gratefully drank in this rare moment of peace and tranquility in the middle of such a chaotic few days. The chill of the early hours still haunted the air, so he picked his varsity jacket up off the ground, shook the few stray blades of grass off it and put it back on. Patting his jacket down, his heart skipped a beat when he felt a familiar rectangular shape in his right jeans pocket. Hastily removing the object from his pocket, he found himself holding his phone. His heart racing, he impatiently pressed the power button on the side, but to no avail. His heart sinking, Captain N surmised that the battery died in between being transported to Yamajiro and now. He sighed in defeat, knowing that the hope of recharging his phone is scant in such a strange and foreign world. He sat down on a large rock nearby, still clutching his phone as if he was expecting it to dissipate like Dracula's castle. How long was he gone on Earth, he wondered to himself. Three days? A couple hours? Did anyone even know he went missing yet? Surely his mom or dad would have tried texting, but would anyone else worry? His cousin might, MAYBE a couple of his lab partners whose numbers he acquired to communicate during a group project, but that's all. Captain N sighed to himself, idly rubbing the smooth, near flawless screen of his phone. Everyone back home was probably too busy celebrating Jeremiah Coleman getting another touchdown, or Kimberly Sparks submitting another award-winning art piece to notice that he went missing. The more his mind ran through these thoughts, the heavier the tear in his eye felt.

"Whatcha got there?" Suddenly came Pit's voice, snapping Captain N out of his depressing train of thought. He tried to mask his true emotions towards the phone with a casual shrug, answering with "My phone.". Pit squinted his eyes a bit, walking over to get a better look at Captain N's phone. "Something from your home world?" He asked him, getting a simple "Yep." in response. Pit sat down next to him, further analyzing the strangely simple device. "...What does it do?" Pit asked. Captain N chuckled a bit, never having expected to have to explain the details of something so omnipresent in his home world. "It lets you communicate with people far away, get information from anywhere near instantly, take pictures and videos, write down notes, play music, and pretty much everything else you'd need it to do." He explained, Pit inquisitively nodding along. "How does it work?" Pit asked further. Captain N laughed a bit, shrugging. "I don't know, I didn't build the thing." He remarked, his mood having lifted somewhat. "It looks kinda like the Sheikah Slate." Pit noted. "...'Sheikah Slate'?" Captain N repeated, confused. Pit smacked his head, remembering who he was talking to. "Oh yeah, you don't know about that yet. If you ask Princess Zelda, she'll- actually, you better not." He quickly stopped himself. Captain N was more confused than before but knew better than to prod further. "You wanna show off how it works?" Asked Pit. Captain N shook his head. "Can't. Battery's dead." He explained, hoping Pit knew what that meant. Pit groaned a bit. "Dang, that's never fun." He noted.

"Good morning to you guys too." Falco grumbled, still lying on the ground. "We just didn't want to disturb your beauty sleep, that's all." Captain N joked, eliciting slight snickering from Pit. Falco rolled his eyes as he got up, arching his back with a groan. Zelda woke up soon after, roused slightly by the conversation. "I assume everyone slept soundly last night." She said, sitting up as she rubbed the sleep out of her eyes. Captain N didn't, really. Sleeping on the ground covered only by his jacket proved far less than ideal. Hiding this, he nodded along with Falco and Pit as he slipped his phone back into his pocket. "Well, good, as we've a long day ahead of us. We'll have to return to New Leaf Town before making our way to the warp zone in the Mushroom Kingdom." She instructed as she got up and made her outfit more presentable. "Speaking of which, how are they doing? The town wasn't attacked while we were dealing with Dracula, was it?" Captain N asked. "Thankfully not. From what I can sense, they've been as safe as when we left." Zelda answered. Feeling a slight feeling of relief, Captain N looked across the lake to the path they initially traversed through. "We all feeling ready?" Captain N asked the group. "Yep!" Pit eagerly answered. "Ready when you are, Cap'n." Falco spoke up, adjusting the blaster at his side. Zelda only nodded in agreement, closing her eyes as she drew upon her magic to conjure the path back to New Leaf Town. It took a moment, but she finally opened her eyes back up, eyeing a specific opening between a pair of trees on the other side of the lake. "Follow me." She instructed, taking the lead. "Wait, I gotta do something." Captain N suddenly spoke up just as Pit and Falco started walking. "What is it?" Falco asked with a slight hint of annoyance in his voice. Captain N didn't answer that question, instead searching the nearby tree line. Finding the same branch from last night, he drew his Zapper from his pocket, aimed at the branch, steadied his breath, closed his right eye, and pulled the trigger. Opening his eye back up and assessing the tree, he found that the branch fell to the ground, slightly smoldering near the end where he aimed for. A smile growing across his face, Captain N pumped his fist and cheered "First try!". Zelda let out a slight laugh from his display. "Nicely done, Captain!" cheered Pit. "Yeah, yeah, great stuff, care to get going now?" Falco asked, humoring Captain N. Clutching the Zapper, Captain N nodded, rejoining the three as they began the trek.

The day felt more welcoming as the four traversed the land. Captain N felt much more at ease as he hiked, due to the fact that they're heading towards a familiar and friendly town, as opposed to the mysterious castle of Dracula himself. However, the absence of Simon Belmont made the group feel slightly more empty. Despite Falco's assurance that he made it out alright, Captain N couldn't help but worry about his well-being. Hopefully he'll run into him again sometime in the near future. Conversation was light between the group as they hiked over the grassy hills and through wide valleys. Zelda remained focused on following the correct path, still rattled by Dracula's manipulation in Castlevania despite there being no similar forces overshadowing them now. Falco exuded an aura of annoyance which Captain N picked up, which he surmised had to do with not being able to fly his Arwing back to town. Which reminded him of a question he'd been meaning to ask.

"Hey Pit, can't you fly?" He asked, making Pit feel immediately uneasy. "Uh... kind of?" He awkwardly answered. Instilling only confusion in Captain N, he followed up with "What do you mean? You flew me to Peach's Castle and inside Castlevania.". "It's, uh, tricky actually. Even though I've got wings, I can only really FLY when Lady Palutena's directly helping me. Other times I can just kind of "boost" a little bit." He explained, making Falco roll his eyes. Captain N nodded, knowing that being flown across the sky was a little too much to ask for. "Well.. what about you?" Captain N asked Falco. "...What about me?" Falco asked in return. "Can you, you know... fly?" Captain N clarified. Falco let out an annoyed sound and responded with "No, I can't. Not without my Arwing.". Realizing he should have known this already, Captain N felt flustered realizing how that was kind of a dumb question. "Look!" Zelda suddenly spoke up, pointing at a nearby tree. Upon closer inspection, Captain N and Pit found the tree was populated with plump, ripe orange fruits hanging from the branches. "It's incredibly rare we find a tree of Wumpa Fruit outside the Wumpa Islands!" She excitedly explained, examining the fruits. "Looks like we found lunch." Falco noted, followed with Captain N feeling a rumbling emptiness in his stomach upon hearing food mentioned. "Allow me." Zelda stated, raising her hands at the fruit in the tree. Shortly after, four of the Wumpa Fruits were delicately removed from the branches and floated down to each of the four's pairs of hands. Taking it in his grasp, Captain N noted the firm yet slightly soft texture of the fruit. He looked back to Pit and Falco, waiting for them to take the first bite of their fruits. After Pit's initial bite was followed with a sound of him enjoying the fruit, Captain N took a careful bite of his fruit. His senses were immediately rewarded with this action, as the fruit tasted incredibly sweet, with the juices seeping out of the newly-made opening. The taste was difficult to place further than that, not being comparable to peaches or mangoes or any other fruit he ate back on Earth. His sense of taste, his brain and his stomach voted unanimously to continue eating, which he quickly obliged to, greedily scarfing down the Wumpa Fruit. "You don't have these on Earth, do you?" Pit asked, which he answered by shaking his head. Falco and Zelda ate theirs slower and more carefully, in direct contrast to Pit and Captain N. The fruit disappeared into Captain N's stomach disappointingly soon, left with only a sticky mess on his hands and mouth area. "Looks like Cap approves." Falco smirked at the display. Slightly flustered, he cleaned himself up as best he could to make himself presentable. With a slight giggle, Zelda floated two more Wumpa Fruits down to Captain N, which he graciously accepted with a polite "Thank you, Princess.". The three only had just finished their first fruits, whereupon they were granted two more fruits by Zelda. "I'm confident you gentlemen can eat and walk at the same time, so we should continue our journey." Zelda instructed. With a mouthful of Wumpa Fruit, Captain N could only respond with a less-than-polite "Mm-hm.". Pit nodded along with a hearty "We sure can!". Falco agreed with a determined "Yeah, let's move it.", stowing his fruits under his arms. Satisfied with their answers, Zelda continued leading the group to town.

It took the vast majority of the day to reach New Leaf Town. The handful of Wumpa Fruits only did so much to provide sustenance for the adventurers, eventually feeling the growl of hunger return. The sun sank further and further towards the horizon, the sky slowly shifting colors to match the rapidly approaching evening. Captain N could sense Falco envying the birds flying freely throughout the sky, chirping happily to each other as they soared across the warm breeze. Pit stretched his white, bird-like wings out to take in the nice breeze. Zelda remained as determined as ever to follow the determined path, assigning the task of eating food to the secondary priority. Just before the sun dipped below the horizon, Zelda led the group over the hill overseeing the entrance to New Leaf Town. The townspeople could still be seen walking about, enjoying their peaceful lives without a Kremling or other minion of the three kings in sight. "Ugh, finally!" Falco groaned, quickly hastening his pace towards the entrance, followed closely by Pit. "Thanks for being the guide, Princess. I never had a doubt." Captain N complimented Zelda, which she accepted with a soft yet gracious "...Thank you.". Captain N looked to the side and saw the warp pipe leading to the Mushroom Kingdom in the distance. He felt a strong feeling of uneasiness upon remembering what his true duties entail, separate from enjoying free stays at hotels. Zelda remained at his side, silently understanding his inner conundrum. "...I understand your struggle, Captain." She quietly said to him, feeling the weight on his shoulders as his eyes remained on the large green pipe. He sighed and hung his head, avoiding her gaze. "...Really?" He asked her. Zelda moved to his side to meet his eyes. "I know the pressure of having to live up to everyone's expectations in the face of such dire odds and consequences." She went on. Captain N took in a deep breath, straightened his posture and turned his gaze back towards New Leaf Town. "We better catch up with them, shouldn't we?" He asked, motioning towards Falco and Pit. "Indeed." She agreed, feeling slightly off-put by him suddenly diverting the conversation. "Well then, we better not keep the townsfolk waiting." He said, making his way towards the entrance with Zelda following closely.

The four approaching town was immediately noticed first by young Timmy and Tommy. "They're back! Princess Zelda, Captain N and the others are back!" Timmy shouted to the nearby townsfolk. This immediately caught the attention of Tom Nook and Isabelle, who was meeting with a dark brown owl male with a bow tie and checkered torso, the three of whom made their way over to the two youngsters. "I thought I taught you two better than to cause so much ruckus." Tom scolded his nephews. "But it's true! They're over there!" Tommy insisted, pointing to the field in front of town. Sure enough, the three saw Falco, Pit, Captain N and Zelda approaching. "Oh, goodness! I wish we could have known sooner! We could have prepared for their arrival!" Isabelle fussed, growing worried about pleasing such famous guests. The owl quickly made himself presentable, adjusting his bow as Tom quickly got his two nephews to the side so they could enter. With Pit and Falco having slowed to allow Zelda and Captain N to catch up, the four found themselves crowded once more by the anthropomorphic townspeople. "Welcome back to our humble town!" Isabelle happily greeted them. "What happened?" Timmy eagerly asked. "Didja beat up Dracula?" Tommy asked further. At this point, more townspeople noticed the four had returned, and quickly formed a mob around them. Feeling the pressure, Captain N raised his hands to create some space. "You all can rest easy knowing that Dracula's no longer a threat!" He announced, earning a joyous cheer from the townspeople. "I hate to ask, but would you happen to have retrieved anything of value from Castlevania?" The owl asked the group. "Unfortunately not, aside from that which was meant for Captain N." Zelda politely answered. "Oh, what a shame. It would have made a wonderful addition to the local museum." The owl grumbled. Just as Captain N was about to ask for his name, he perked back up and introduced himself with "Oh, my apologies! My name is Blathers, and I am the curator of the town's museum." with a slight bow. "Well then Blathers, I'll try to snag you something to show off the next time I break into someone's home." Captain N joked. "Wait... where's Simon Belmont?" Tom asked. Falco quickly answered with "He took on Dracula himself, letting us escape with the goods. Don't worry, he's fine". "What did you escape with?" A navy-blue cat with exotic head wear asked Captain N. The eyes of countless townspeople began boring themselves into Captain N, their interests piqued by the prospect of some hidden treasure hidden inside Castlevania. Instead of offering a verbal answer, he stepped back, drew the two Boosters from his back pockets and shot two brilliant beams of fire and ice into the sky. The townspeople were amazed by this display, cheering victoriously as his pride swelled, drinking in the sensation of an entire town cheering him on. "What brings you all back here?" Isabelle asked in the midst of the cheering. "Perhaps you decided to take up my offer on-" Tom tried to ask in return, but was interrupted by Pit explaining "We're just staying the night here. Tomorrow we set off for New Donk City!".

"Well, it's an honor to host such esteemed guests! Our mayor is currently off fishing, but K.K. Slider's playing in the center of town!" Isabelle beamed. Falco rolled his eyes at such an absent mayor, but Pit was eager to take her up on the offer. "Sounds great! And I bet K.K. does do!" He quipped. Captain N and Zelda happily followed Pit and Isabelle to the center of town, Falco straying a bit farther behind. Upon arrival, K.K. Slider was playing a song reminiscent of an old western movie from Captain N's home world. Some of the townspeople were too absorbed in the song to notice the four arriving. Captain N found himself taken into the song, soaking in its intricate melodies. But when the song ended, the presence of the four became immediately known, with Isabelle, Blathers and Tom with his nephews standing nearby. "Well well well, looks like our heroes came back champions." K.K. casually noted. "Got any requests?" He asked the group. Captain N, Falco and Zelda remained quiet, while Pit quickly responded "Something smooth!". "You got it, bird dude!" K.K. happily accepted, adjusting his guitar before beginning another song. As the expertly-played song wafted throughout the crowd, Captain N felt much more at ease with his mission. Still feeling his phone in his pocket, he felt stronger and more determined. His chest felt bigger and his height felt greater than before. Zelda and the others enjoyed the song as well alongside the happy crowd, noticeably more relaxed than before. But eventually, the song had to end, resulting in Captain N's tiredness making its presence known. "We ought to hit the hay. Got a big day tomorrow, after all." Falco suggested. "Seems like all my days recently are big days, but yeah, sleep on an actual bed sounds good." Captain N agreed with a smile. "Thank you all for hosting us, you've all been truly wonderful." Zelda thanked the townspeople. "Of course, Princess! You're always welcome here!" Isabelle replied, slightly flustered. "Everyone wish our heroes a good night!" K.K. spoke up, earning a collective "Good night!" from the crowd. Captain N awkwardly thanked them for their kindness, and he quickly made his way back to the hotel with his three allies. The host graciously handed the four room keys to the group as they entered. Ascending the staircase and arriving at their doors, the group quickly exchanged farewells for the day, more eager to sleep on a soft mattress. As soon as he locked the door behind him and fell onto the bed, Captain N succumbed to slumber once more.

[thelightofthingshopedfor]

in an attempt to keep my shit together, a list of things I would really, really like to get done this weekend:

reply to a couple new Etsy messages

actually make my one outstanding Etsy order, which really shouldn’t be that hard

answer the survey for a Kickstarter I recently backed

try to finish my will, I mostly just need to make like...one more decision (I mean the accompanying “here’s what I would like to happen with my shit that isn’t monetarily valuable but it’s valuable to me and

check out a couple different “hey you could get like $10 from this class-action lawsuit” notices I got recently, because if they seem legit and I qualify, then yeah of course I want a little money for minimal effort

write and mail postcards for a local candidate (I only have 10, it should be easy, and I have a good motivation because apparently this guy needs petition signatures to get on the ballot at all and I definitely want him there because he seems like the only halfway-decent choice for my state house district)

bonus: I might be able to play the slot machines in the current SWTOR event while I write postcards, which would be nice because a) I always feel better when I’m multitasking and b) it will probably surprise no one to learn that virtual slot machines are incredibly fucking boring and if I can’t multitask I’m gonna lose it, but also I do have chips to spend

pick at least one good organization helping in Beirut and donate to it

submit an appeal to my insurance company and hope I can convince them to pay for the vision therapy that might help my headaches

also figure out wtf is going on with this dental claim because yes, y’all definitely cover me?? this has not changed since the last dentist appointment, which you covered no problem??

buy one or two Fanatical game bundles because there are some I definitely want and I’m not sure how long they’ll be available

handwash my face masks because I uh, haven’t done that whoops

try to read a bunch on Comixology Unlimited because my 60-day trial is up next week and no I don’t know how the fuck that happened so fast

leave more voicemails for my legislators, particularly my senators, because FUCK YOU FOR GOING ON RECESS BECAUSE YOU COULDN’T DO YOUR FUCKING JOBS AND PASS MORE COVID RELIEF. BECAUSE MCCONNELL IS OF COURSE BLAMING THE LACK OF COMPROMISE ON DEMOCRATS WHEN HE DICKED AROUND DOING NOTHING FOR MONTHS AFTER THE HOUSE PASSED THE HEROES ACT AND NOW SUDDENLY IT’S THE DEMOCRATS’ FAULT THAT THEY WANT SOMETHING BETTER THAN THE SHITTY HEALS ACT THAT INCLUDES PATHETICALLY TINY UNEMPLOYMENT PAYMENTS AND ZERO MONEY FOR STATE AND LOCAL GOVERNMENTS. LITERALLY FUCK ALL OF YOU GHOULS

also I keep meaning to email my state legislators and I should really just...do that

keep trying to get Hazy adjusted to the sound of the nail grinder so I can maybe actually try to use it (should also probably do yet more research on what to do when your dog haaaaaates getting her nails clipped)

close some tabs oh my god. close a lot of tabs. I have four Firefox windows open and one of them is 22 tabs of articles I’ve been planning to read and then post on Facebook, which unfortunately takes kind of a lot of time (but also they’re probably important and if I just bookmark them I’ll never return to them??), and another has 19 tabs of mostly ADHD advice that I need to read (and of course all of those include links to similar articles, so it’s like a fucking hydra every time I try to weed through them), and all these tabs are making FIrefox very slow and bad and I have got to deal with them somehow.

things that would be really nice to do:

glue some stuff that needs gluing, it shouldn’t take that long and it would be just be nice to finally get that done (also one of the things is glass and it’s...probably not the smartest or safest thing to have glass pieces just, like, lying around)

type stuff and maaaaaaybe even work on a fic?? like there’s this one fic that is genuinely almost done, and a few others that are probably almost done, and I haven’t finished anything since fucking January and it sucks

do a couple more finishing touches on my Young Loki custom and take photos of him

do...some other painting stuff? designing more Pride Cap shields?

it wouldn’t hurt to download whatever I want from Humble Trove now and I should work on deciding what I want to do about Humble Choice, but I don’t really need to do that until next weekend

[shreddedparchment]

Of Two Minds Pt.05

You’re Extremely Essential

06/10/2019

Pairing: Bucky x Reader x Steve          Word Count: 5,517

Masterpost          Warnings: smut, unprotected oral sex, angst, Steve in a red t-shirt

A/N: I was going to wait before posting this. I should also warn that I haven’t gone back to edit so it might be messy. Forgive me. I am still waiting to clean out my forever tags so as of right now my forever tags are still closed. All that aside, I hope you enjoy this chapter. It’s...a lot more smut than I intended but does touch on some very important things in between. I hope you like it! As always, if you happen to reblog, thanks so much for helping me spread my work. xoxo

You know what Bucky’s thinking.

The possessive wrap of his arm around your waist is obvious to you and will most likely be obvious to everyone else.

You don’t feel guilty about having just had Bucky ravish you. He’s your man. Your boyfriend for lack of a better word.

The two of you walk into the common room and climb the two steps up to the conference tables. The meeting has already started, and Nat is already busy presenting her findings on Aaron, your Cayman Islands mark.

Wanda, Vision, Rhodey, Sam, and Bruce sit around the table. Each one looks over a small thin packet of pages with photos and batches of paragraphs with information.

Standing by the monitor Nat glances at you and Bucky as you join the group then gives her attention back to the screen. Standing against the railing at the head of the table—opposite Nat—with his hands shoved into his pockets, Tony stares at the monitor, frowning.

Closest to the two of you as you step up to the table is Steve. He’s standing tall, changed out of his sleep shirt and into a bright primary red t-shirt. It clings to his angular shoulders and narrow waist, a delicious sight though one that comes with a small ache as you search his storm blue eyes for any sign of pain. Resentment maybe?

You remember Bucky covering your mouth with his hand a few minutes ago while you were moaning beneath him and the way he silenced you with his lips. Steve would have been on his way down to the meeting then. Had he heard?

You can see the hard planes of his pecs, accentuated thanks to his large muscular arms cross across his chest.

As you sidle up beside him, Bucky taking his arm from around your waist to take hold of your hand, you notice Steve’s gaze drift over your head to meet Bucky’s.

A quick look at him lets you see the small grin in place. It’s bragging but despite the look, Steve doesn’t rise to the taunt. Instead he turns his gaze down on you to smile softly.

He’s happy for you. For both of you.

It hurts.

You feel Bucky’s hand go slack around your own and you look back up at him to see the confusion on his face at Steve’s reaction then turns to listen to Nat.

Desperately you want to reach over and take Steve’s hand too. You want to hold it in and show the room that this man is also your man. You love him and he loves you and he’s yours and you’re his but Bucky isn’t comfortable with that yet so you can’t.

“We know they’re coming out of Ecuador. We don’t know the precise location of the facility, but we’ve got S.H.I.E.L.D. agents down surveying possible sites. As soon as we hear from them, we’ll head out.” Nat explains. She clicks to the next slide and you watch as your Hawaiin God, the mysterious Aaron’s face fills half the screen.

You release Bucky’s hand and wrap your arms around yourself, staring at the handsome face.

“Aaron Keahi.” Nat states, looking over at you specifically. “Your Cayman mark. This guy is as shrouded in darkness, Y/N.”

“What do you mean?” Your interest piqued; you move closer to lean on the back of Sam’s chair. He looks up at you then notices the two large super soldiers flanking you.

Both of them had moved up towards the table with you but stand about a foot behind you since you’re too close to the table for both of them to stand beside you.

“I mean, aside from the typical bad guy rap sheet we had on him when we sent you on that mission with Bucky a few months ago, we know nothing about him. He’s got no history in real estate, investments, no school records or a comprehensive criminal record of any kind.” Nat states, clicking a button that states the money laundering, arms deals, and other smaller crimes usually out of Avengers jurisdiction.

“Then how was he on our radar?” You ask, suddenly suspicious.

“Honestly? I have no idea.” Nat admits. “I don’t even know where that first mission came from.”

She looks at Tony who is deep in thought and frowning as he stares at the table. His eyes move from side to side, deep in thought as he thinks through what you know must be a hundred different scenarios all at once.

“Did we end up finding anything significant on that data drive I stole?”

“More small-time stuff.” Wanda says, “Nat dove pretty deep into the files and nothing important popped up. We forwarded the information to local authorities but nothing that warrants our immediate attention.”

“So, what?” You ask, bewildered and frustrated. “We were sent on a dead-end mission to-”

“Draw you out.” Sam says and everyone looks at him.

“No.” Steve protests. “That’s not possible.”

“Why not?” Bucky asks, and you tense for a second.

The silence between them lasts only a split second too long before Steve replies.

“Because I didn’t even know I was sending Y/N on that mission with you until almost the day of. Nat backed out. If they’re after anyone, they’re after you or Nat. Not Y/N.” Steve nods.

Tony looks up to meet his eyes and they share a long look before they both look between Bucky and Nat who are also busy staring at each other in serious contemplation.

“Who would be after them?” Wanda asks.

“Hydra?” Rhodey offers casually as if it’s the most obvious.

“Hydra’s dead.” Bruce says.

“Is it?” Sam asks.

“Hydra explains me.” Bucky says. “But not Nat.”

“Old KGB operatives?” Vision offers. “My research on the dark web has brought to light several factions that are still loyal to the old Soviet government and are highly focused and motivated in bringing back the old ways or so their manifesto states.”

“They’d have plenty of reason to want me dead.” Nat agrees.

“And I was quite the asset in my time with Hydra. I could see them wanting me back.” Bucky reasons.

Your desires for loving both Steve and Bucky give way to your fear and you hurry to his side to take his hand. He gives it a squeeze before he tucks you into his side, metal hand cool and reassuring on your suddenly furious and blazing skin.

“Bucky…”

“We won’t let them get him back, Y/N.” Steve reassures you. He moves over to stand closer, looking at Bucky as he speaks to you, however.

You look up to find him staring intently at his best friend.

“Even if they caught you, your programming has been gone for a long time, Buck. They wouldn’t be able to use you.” Steve assures him.

“I know.” Bucky nods, relaxing under his friend’s gaze. “I’m not afraid of them.”

You see Steve frown as you’re turning to frown at Bucky too. The two of you are well aware how Hydra makes Bucky feel. Maybe it isn’t completely fear, but it’s not bravery either. He submits to them. Not completely, but he still recognizes the authority there and it’s something you and Steve have discussed often.

“Bucky-” You begin.

“I know what you’re going to say and trust me. I’ve been working on it. I’m good.” He promises.

You look over at Steve and this time he is looking at you. He sighs then looks at Bucky one last time before he slips to stand behind the two of you.

You do it because you know it’s what he needs and honestly? You need it, too.

You reach back and feel a wave of warm comfort as Steve’s fingers intertwine with your own behind your back. He moves up to stand right behind you. Close enough to look natural but not close enough to look too intimate.

Bucky stiffens beside you, but he also doesn’t let you go.

He meets your gaze and looks slightly surprised to find you looking up at him, worry etched across your face.

He’s thinking. You can see the thoughts racing through his mind behind those startling steel blue and sometimes ice colored eyes. He’s watching you take comfort in Steve. He’s listening to Steve and you worry about him. He’s very aware of the need you seem to have for Steve’s touch and the way your hand has tightened even more around his own hand.

Your love for him is pouring out of you in buckets but there’s also a flow of that being diverted to the man behind you.

Bucky can see it and you can see him taking note of it. What you can’t see is how he feels about it. Does he like that you’re still clinging to him, harder still because you’re so scared that someone is going to try and take you away from him? Does he not like that you need Steve’s physical support to get through these terrifying few minutes? Is he jealous?

“So, what’s the plan?” Sam asks, bringing everyone back down to reality.

You, Steve, and Bucky all switch your attentions to Tony who is still lost in thought.

“We wait.” He says. “They’ll find the drug den. We get in there and we use those two as bait.”

“What?!” You nearly shout.

“No.” Steve says sternly.

“Okay.” Nat says.

“Bring ‘em on.” Bucky says.

All of you speak at the same time and then all of you look at each other.

“Bucky, no.” You growl.

“They want me, they’re gonna die trying to take me.”

“Bucky…” You plead with him, releasing Steve’s hand so that you can turn to face Bucky.

“I’m not going to let them make me fear them again, Y/N. I won’t hide.”

“But you don’t have to throw yourself at them in hopes of drawing out their true intentions. Is this because of us? Is that why you’re suddenly so ready to be reckless?” You accuse him and he takes offense to it.

“This has nothing to do with you.” He snaps. “This is my fight, Y/N. Mine.” He pokes himself hard in the chest. “And if you can’t support my decision maybe we need to take a step back.”

Your chest caves in and with a gasp you move around him and head back towards the stairs.

You know that he’s not responding to the truth of this new situation. He’s responding to you needing Steve. To your need to hold onto him when the thought of losing Bucky becomes too much.

Space will help clear you mind. The anger you have for him in this moment will pass and you might be able to see past this attempt to push you away. Will he always do this?

Will he always put this distance between you when you can’t help but cave to your impulse to turn to Steve?

The grounds around the compound make for a nice escape. You stay there for hours and Bucky doesn’t come for you. Neither does Steve. Not until it’s late and the sky is dark. That’s when you hear footsteps.

You turn around, expecting to find Bucky finally stomping towards you, moody at you for staying out so long but instead you find Steve moving towards you with his hands shoved deep into the pockets of his jeans.

Tight denim, pale against the bright red of his t-shirt. Even in the dark the color makes his skin glow.

He stops just outside of the small circle of diffuse yellow light from the singular bulb that hangs under the wooden slat roof of the pier that extends out onto the lake.

For what feels like minutes, torturously slow minutes, the two of you stare at each other. You let your eyes bore into his for a bit before you bring them down to his chest and stare at the rising and falling muscles.

Because your mind is preoccupied, Steve doesn’t speak. He lets you think, and you appreciate him knowing you so well. You’re grateful that he’s your best friend. You’ve always taken your time to think things through but this decision of wanting both Steve and Bucky had been such an immediate decision.

You have never been so sure of anything in your entire life. You love Bucky but you love Steve too. You can’t bear to keep this distance between you and Steve.

Standing across from him by a few feet, staring at each other in silence while wanting more is painful.

You feel the urge to run to him, throw your arms around his neck and give in to your desire to kiss him. You want his lips pressed against yours. You want to feel the thump of his hear against your chest. You want his large hands splayed out against your back, running down low on your waist until they can flick the bottom hem of your white t-shirt away until his skin is on yours.

You want him moaning and pressed against your body, burying you into his mattress—or yours, you’re not picky—or hell, even into the wooden floor of this pier. The grass. Against that tree over there. You want Steve anywhere and everywhere.

His soft smiles. His warm comfort. Anything but the uncertainty of those storm blue eyes, still staring at you with unwavering confusion.

You’re putting that expression on his beautiful face.

The soft tendrils of his hair sway in the breeze and you want to slip your fingers through it.

“He’s going to tell me no.” You realize, speaking with so much confidence that it startles even you.

Steve nods slowly. “I know.”

“I’m going to have to leave, Steve. I-I can’t pick. There is no choosing between you and Bucky. I love him so much. I’ll die without him. If anything happened to him, ever, if Hydra gets their hands on him-”

“That’ll never happen.” He assures you passionately. “I won’t let that happen. And you won’t have to leave, Y/N. You’ll stay here with Bucky. I’ll leave.”

“What?” The shock your body struggles through at the mere thought of the Avengers existing without Steve is too much. “Don’t be stupid, Steve. The team needs you. You’re essential. Captain America! It needs you a lot more than it needs me.”

“And Bucky needs you more than he needs me. You’re extremely essential to his recovery.” Steve reasons. “I won’t be gone for good I’ll just…I’ll get away so that I can get over this. You. I’ll still come back if I’m needed.”

“I-” You should take this out. He’s offering you a chance to move on, but can you?

It feels like Steve is in your very bones. It feels like if someone were to cut you, you’d bleed Steve’s blood, not yours because you’re one with him. Maybe not sexually yet…listen to you. Yet.

“I don’t want you to get over me, Steve. I need you. So much. Every day.” You confess. “I love him, Steve. So much but you’re my best friend. How do I make this go away? How do I stop loving you?”

Steve mirrors your pain, taking a step forward as his hands curl into fists.

“You were everything that I wanted for so long. I thought you-this is what you wanted. Us always standing at a distance. I thought that there was no possibility that you could ever want me, and you did? The entire time?” The pain in your chest brings tears to your eyes. Angry tears because this could have all been avoided in some ways if Steve had just told you he liked you earlier.

You could have told him too, but you’d dropped hints. You’d talked about guys and waited to see his reaction when you went on dates. Every time Steve had smiled and wished you luck. Not once had he betrayed his neutrality to show a smidge of jealousy or want or love.

Somehow you know that if things were reversed, Steve would be easier to convince. He’d have let you explore Bucky top to bottom and what it is that you two share.

“Y/N…?” Steve asks, careful to keep himself as far away from you as he can. He doesn’t want to slip up like that night in Brazil. He doesn’t want the guilt that comes from betraying his best friend.

You don’t want to feel torn like this. You don’t want to be unable to make up your mind. The thought of losing Bucky—of Hydra wanting him again tears your will to shreds because you need the reassurance.

You want to hold Bucky and ask him, plead with him, not to put himself in harm’s way on purpose but you know that you can’t because he’d never listen. It’ll only make you angry and you’d wind up back out here by the lake, still needing comfort and to have your fears assuaged by soothing words.

Even if they’re not true, you need to hear them.

“Would you just get the hell over here already?” You sob and Steve is at your side in two large steps.

He wraps you up in his arms, splayed out hands moving slowly up and down along your back. You cling to his chest, hands fisting his red shirt that reminds you of blood. Of pain. Of Hydra.

You bury your face into his chest and let your fear overwhelm you.

“You’re shaking.” Steve realizes and holds you tighter.

“I’m so scared, Steve. I don’t want him anywhere near this. I don’t want him near them. Even if it isn’t Hydra and it’s only a guess, I don’t want him there. I want him safe and untouched and mine.” You growl the last word.

You realize that you’re fighting with Hydra for possession of Bucky. They want to erase him. Own him. Control him. You want him to be happy. You want him in your bed. You want him laughing and able to make up his own mind about what he wants for himself. Even if that means that he chooses he can’t do this with you and Steve, you want him to have that freedom.

“We’ll keep him safe, hun. I promise.”

Your system freezes then short circuits. Sparks fly in every direction as your heart picks up speed. You look up at Steve, staring into his reassuring blues, so desperate to give you comfort and smiles.

“What did you just call me?” You ask him, stunned.

“Hu-I…sorry. It just-” He stutters, blushing like you’ve never seen him blush before. You’ve heard stories from Bucky about how useless Steve had been back in the day with girls. How he’d fumble and fidget and blush scarlet when his confidence waned.

You had no idea that when Bucky had described Steve’s embarrassment that he would look this damn adorable. This irresistible.

You push yourself up onto your toes and grip neck of his shirt and pull him down towards you.

The tiny moan that escapes you as your lips touch his is involuntary. The heat that courses through you as he puckers his lips back against yours is natural and unrelenting. He wraps his arms low on your waist and dips to lift you up, kissing you passionately as his tongue slides along your lips to coax your mouth open.

You moan again, just a whisper of it as you wrap your arms around his neck and give in to this feeling. He fits perfectly against you, like you’d always daydreamed he would. His mouth moves in perfect tandem with yours like you’d always hoped it would. His heart pounds in his chest, creating beautiful music as it pounds along with yours like you never knew it could.

He pulls back but only to let you catch your breath.

Gasping, you bring your hands to the back of his head and pull his lips back towards yours.

“No.” He says, halting your tug. “Wait. Bucky…”

You huff, sliding your hand down to trace his plush bottom lip. It’s so pink and inviting. You want to keep kissing him but Bucky…

“He’s gonna say no.” You whisper, taking hold of Steve’s ear with your other hand as you continue to trace his lip. “He’s going to say no and I’m never going to kiss you again and I’ll have to leave.”

Steve puts you down, anger flashing across his face. “I already told you, you aren’t leaving.”

“I have to.”

“You don’t. I’ll go. You stay here with Bucky.” He orders, Captain voice used and all.

“Excuse me? You can’t tell me what to do.”

“I can and I just did. You’re staying.”

You scoff, the stern set of his jaw reminding you too much of Bucky’s as he’d declared the need to step back. To what? Take a break? Is that what he’d been trying to tell you at the meeting?

“Fuck you.” You spit at Steve and make to move past him.

You’re yanked back hard as Steve pulls you to him. At first you make to tear your hand out of his grip but then he’s pulling you up to kiss you and your heart is swelling and aching and burning and his lips feel so good.

You feel wooden slats on your back, and he twirls you out of the light into the shadows around the pier’s small dock. He pulls you onto the farther side, hidden in darkness then tugs at the front of your jeans.

You’re both on autopilot, moving in frenzied gropes and tears as you each attack the other’s clothes. Your pants sit open, unzipped and unbuttoned. Steve’s hand nestled in against your core, his fingers teasing your clit.

You gasp, open mouthed and hold tight to the sleeves of his shirt. He’s pressed up against you, breathing heavily as he watches himself work your slit.

“No…wait…” You cry, pulling him closer despite his words. “Steve, we-we can’t.”

He moves his fingers faster, making you twitch and buck against his hand. The muted squelch of your juices as they flood around his fingers make it harder to pull away. You want him so badly. You’ve wanted him for years and now you’re so close to having him.

“I want you…” He whispers, deep voice trembling against your ear.

He pulls back to look at you, staring into your sex-hazed eyes. “Let me taste you.”

You want to shake your head, to say no. To tell him that you can’t because Bucky. Instead you nod.

It happens fast in shaky eager movements. Slightly rough in the frenzy. Steve slides his hand out of your underwear and pulls your pants down. He pulls your left foot out then slides your underwear down too.

Once your foot is free, he drops down to his knees. Your leg lift up at the knee and hooked on his shoulder, he presses his nose against the small hidden cove of your clit.

His heated breath makes your skin erupt into shivers, despite the warm night. The sound of cicadas and crickets is deafening despite your labored breathing. The muggy heat of the lake coats your skin in a thin sheen of sweat.

You bring your hands down, resting them against his wide shoulders. He leans forward, tongue first, and has a taste.

You shudder at the gentle lick to your nub, then bring your hand up to the back of his head.

He looks up at you, storm blues dark in the lack of light, and assess your reaction.

You bite your bottom lip, fingers massaging his scalp as you wait for his second lick.

Instead, when he brings his large hands under you and back behind you to pull you forward towards his face, he open his mouth and kisses your core. He tongues you, licking and lapping up at you as he maneuvers the slick folds of your cunt.

You cry out, surprised by the eagerness with which he eats you out. You know you shouldn’t make so much noise, but you can’t help it. You had no idea that Steve knew how to do this so well.

You’d never seen him go out on a date much less bring a girl home. The very thought of him having done this to someone else fills you with such jealousy that you fist his hair and pull him against you harder.

He huffs a laugh but obeys and opens his mouth wider then closes it around your nub. He sucks hard making your knees buckle then pulls back to flick it wildly with his tongue.

You’re not expecting him to tilt his head back, to look up at you with those blue eyes and when he meets your gaze the sight of him pressed against you is so salacious that your heart begins to pound harder.

You shouldn’t be out here with Steve. You shouldn’t be half naked with Steve. You shouldn’t be hidden in the dark with Steve. You shouldn’t be watching him eat your pussy and liking it so much that you flood more for him.

You stroke his hair, thrusting up towards his face with your hips as he closes his mouth around your nub again. This time he doesn’t stop sucking and instead brings his right hand out from behind you. He uses it to find your entrance and without warning he plunges one finger within you.

You gasp but don’t dare look way.

He inserts a second finger and your knees buckle again. You catch yourself on his shoulders and he doesn’t spare you a second to recover before he’s thrusting those fingers into you hard and fast.

God you wish it was his cock.

He can see the desire in your eyes and since he can’t give you that he releases your clit and presses the flat of his tongue against it as you thrust your hips against him. He flicks it and licks it and lets you face-fuck him while his fingers pump into you until you feel that familiar pressure build around your hips.

Your breathing grows ragged. Wild high-pitched gasping escaping your throat and Steve presses harder. Fingers you harder.

You grab his hair harder as your core explodes and Steve stills his fingers but keeps his tongue moving. Your orgasm washes over you in waves of euphoria until all you’re left is twitching against Steve’s face as he lick you up some more.

As your body relaxes and, slumping against the wooden slat wall, you caress Steve’s hair and face. The sight of him down there between your legs, wide shoulders hunched so that he might fit there with you, fills you with such bliss.

He comes up, a quick wipe to his mouth on the back of his hand but he licks the rest of you away, then meets you in a lazy and lusty kiss.

You can taste yourself on him. Woman and satisfied. You’re so turned on by the flavor of you on his lips that you grind against his pelvis and he pulls back, stunned.

“No.” He tells you.

“Let me make you feel good.” You plead.

“Bucky…” He reminds you and you almost give in. You almost let him convince you but the fear of not being able to do this, ever tears your heart in two.

On one side you have Bucky, your loyalty to him is resolute, strong, unyielding. But you’re also mad at him for the stupid things he said this morning. You’re angry at him for the way he so easily told you that if you can’t handle his choices then maybe you should take a break?

The other side of your heart is full of Steve and Steve is giving you everything that you need right now. Reassurance, comfort, warmth, soft touches. You want to fuck him, but you know that you can’t do that. As much as you want to. So instead you undo his jeans and reach in and find him rock hard.

He’s so big and you want him.

“Fuck.” You sigh, pulling him close so that you can rest your head against his shoulder as you pump him.

Steve grunts, sighs, and then falls forward into you. His hand moves the shoulder of your t-shirt aside to press soft tender kisses against your sweaty skin.

“I want you so much, Steve. I want you inside me.” You gasp, moving your hand faster along his cock.

“Y/N…” He moans, whisper quiet as he kisses up along your neck and then nibbles your ear.

“Steve…” You reply, just as quiet. “Let me taste you.”

You repeat his words back to him and he pulls back. Once again, it’s a frenzy of movement. It happens so fast you’re not sure how you wound up squatting in front of him, his cock’s head pressed against your lips.

You lick it and Steve shudders.

“Th-that feels good.” He sighs.

You smile against him and then wrap your lips around him and circle his head with your tongue, tasting salty-soft skin. He’s burning in your mouth and God, you want him inside you. Since you can’t do that, you take him in quick and sudden.

He gasps, falling forward to press his hand against the slats of the wall. His free hand finds your hair and he slides his hand into it, caressing your skull with deep affection.

“Oh, hun, that feels so good.” He whispers, almost hissing his words.

His reaction gives you pride, and you keep one hand held at the base of his cock while the other lands on his bum. You pull him forward then reach forward to grab his hip and pull him back.

He understands what you want, and he starts to move his hips on his own, fucking into your face while you slide your tongue along the base of his cock.

You can’t speak with him inside you, but you hum around him, shifting your head left to right as you take him in long strides.

“Shit…” He mutters, as you reach down to cup his balls.

He slows down and that’s not what you want so you move your neck, bobbing your head on him to take him faster. His cock hits the back of your throat and you swallow. He shudders and you suck harder. He grunts and you hum loudly, moaning around his thickness from the pleasure of his satisfaction.

“I’m gonna come, Y/N.” Steve whispers, hands fisted into your hair as you move fast, gulping and gasping around him.

You move faster, making your passes shorter but tighter, tongue tickling the skin of his head.

It catches you by surprise because you’re so used to Bucky’s tell, the way he grabs your head and holds you still when he comes but Steve is different. Steve thrusts into you, shoving himself into your mouth more as he shoots his release into your mouth.

You stop moving but swallow him, not wasting a single drop as he finishes.

“Shit…” He sighs. “I’m sorry, I-”

He pulls himself out of your mouth and you pump his cock a few times as he does, licking him clean as he goes.

“Holy…” He begins but you smile at him as he falls out of your mouth.

You don’t get to say anything because he wraps his hand around the back of your neck and pins you against the slat wall to kiss you.

The kiss is eager, happy, and then lazy as the lust dies out and satisfaction takes its place.

Without prompting, Steve helps you put your underwear back on and then helps with your jeans before doing up his own.

He leans over you, staring down at your sweet smiling face.

“We have to convince him.” Steve says, and you laugh once.

It makes sense that he’d have a change of heart after what just happened but you’re just glad that you had the chance.

You want to be with him like this, forever. You want to love him openly, freely. Both of them. However, you’d seen it in Bucky’s eyes at the meeting. He can’t share you. Or maybe he’s unwilling to. You don’t blame him.

Your mood falls, taking with it your smile and Steve responds by cupping the sides of your face.

“We’ll convince him, Y/N.” You reach up to place your hands over his.

“I love you, Steve.” You whisper, lamenting the goodbye that will eventually come because you know it will.

“Don’t do that. Don’t tell me goodbye yet. We haven’t even really tried to convince him.” Steve argues, pleading gently for your patience.

“Just tell me you love me, Steve.” You reach up behind him to trace the planes of his shoulders. So wide. So perfect. Yours in this moment if not forever. “I wanna hear you say it. I’ve waited so long to hear it.”

Steve sighs, wrapping his arms around your waist. “I love you. I love you, so much, Y/N. It kills me.”

Then he kisses you until you can’t breathe.

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How many times a day do you talk on the phone with your significant other?: I just answered this on another survey lol. Idk it really depends how long or short our conversations are so there’s no one definite number of times, but generally I talk to her throughout the day. If we’re both busy, talking in the morning and before turning in for bed would be enough as well.

Other than English, what was the last language spoken to you?: Filipino.

What math level are you currently taking/did you last take in school?: I’m taking up a journalism degree so there’s very little math required for me to take. The one and only math class I had was Math 1 in freshman year and it was so basic we didn’t even take up actual math – it was a class on the history of math lmao.

Who was the last person to ask you for relationship advice?: Kate. I haven’t checked up on her and the guy, actually. Last time she went to me she seemed stressed and I never heard a rant from her after that, so I dunno if they fixed stuff or just broke up altogether.

Do you have a sleeping problem?: No, I sleep just fine.

Have you ever taken a survey with a friend, listing both answers?: Nooooooo no no hard pass. I wouldn’t want my friends to know I do surveys.

Where would you order your favorite burger from?: Pound’s burgers are so good. I stopped looking for other burgers once I got to try theirs.

Who have you been hanging out with most often these days?: Myself...and by default Kimi, who follows me literally anywhere.

Do you know a guy who has hair longer than yours?: Yes.

What color was the last cup you drank out of?: It was just a clear glass.

If you’re in school, what do you do to fill in time between classes?: I go to our org lounge, which is a place in the college we call Skywalk since it’s a walkway on the second floor connecting two buildings. There’s always stuff to do or people to hang out with there, so it’s my favorite place to go to and kill time.

Do you have friends in your classes? Not always. I wasn’t one of those people who needed to enroll in every class with a friend. I just walk into my classes to do my acads, submit shit, and finish off the class with a good grade. It’s cool if I spot a friend, but otherwise it’s not my priority.

When did you last encounter someone you disliked? Today and generally daily, pretty much.

Ever been to a real haunted house?: I don’t think so. Though when we went to Laurice’s house she told us that the house in front of theirs is abandoned – and it did look creepy lol – so we just assumed it was haunted. A couple of the boys went in to check it out but the rest of us just stayed at Laurice’s.

Where was the last place you got lost?: Probs the last time I went to BGC. That place has so many fancy schmancy traffic rules of its own and so many one-way streets and stoplights that anyone who isn’t from there can easily get lost.

What windows are open on your desktop right now?: I have a Try Guys video paused on YouTube, the Google Doc file for my thesis, the Google Forms file for my thesis questionnaire’s results, and a digital copy of the book I’m currently reading.

When was the last time you had cheesecake?: The other day I had ube cheesecake. It was supposed to be my dad’s Mother’s Day gift for my mom, but I asked for some heheh.

When you last shed tears, was it because of a person?: Technically? I cried from of a song, but it also kinda reminded me of a person.

Which music artists were at the last concert you attended?: Paramore <3

What was the last thing you discussed through text messages?: I spent my last peso texting Gabie we had no internet at home for the night so I won’t be able to talk to her, and that I’ll try again the next day.

How many songs are on your iPod/MP3 player?: I don’t keep one anymore. Technically, any songs I wanna listen to are accessible to me on Spotify now. Though it’s safe to guess that my iPod probably reached a peak of 500+ songs.

Other than yours, whose house did you last fall asleep at?: Gabie’s, most likely.

Have you ever had a significant other whose parents didn’t like you?: I don’t think so. I get very insecure about this every so often given that we’re in a same-sex relationship and that I don’t always have the money to woo her parents and buy them pasalubong, but Gabie always reassures me her parents are more than alright with me. And there’s zero reason not to believe her when I do meet up with her parents as they’re very lovely people, so I guess it’s all good in the hood.

What’s so unique about your computer?: The stickers I’ve placed on my laptop case are probably the most unique about it.

How was life for you six months ago?: November was mostly uneventful for me. I think I was still mostly reeling over Nacho’s death.

How much is gas in your area?: I dunno, I never check lol. There’s been a series of rollbacks since March because of the virus, but this week my dad mentioned something about a price hike so it might be starting to come up again.

What’s something interesting you learned in the past week?: A bunch. I just got into a YouTube channel called Oversimplified which posts hilarious narratives of historical events (mostly wars) complete with doodles to make them easier to follow. Yesterday I learned about the Battle of Hastings which would also apparently become very influential when it came to the English language, so it was pretty cool to learn it was more than just a physical war.

Do you know what you plan to do for your next birthday?: Out-of-town trip or an overseas one altogether. Either sounds ideal.

Was the last book you read for fun or assignment related?: For leisure.

[buckmecaptain]

Violence

(Image is not mine)

Pairing: None, really.  F!Reader/OC flirts hard with all 3 men

Word Count: 2168

Summary:  After a weapons-smuggling bust involving Hydra, Captain America, The Falcon, and the Winter Soldier chase down the last few bad guys and run into a quirky and rough SHIELD agent whom Bucky has yet to meet.  (Cap and Sam have known her for a while)

Warnings: Mentions of weapons, heavy flirting, physical violence and dead bodies.  Nothing too descriptive or explicit.

A/N:  This is my first fic posted here on Tumblr, and it is in response to a prompt from @stars-inthe-sky​  who gave me permission to use the prompt/incorrect quote they posted and said they would like to read the fic.  Thank you for giving me the inspiration and a bit of a push to write this! <3

SO... I got some anon hate over the "sexual chocolate" line in dialogue between 46 and Sam. It is a reference to one of my favorite movies, which is also the very favorite movie of my dear, dear friend Dashawn- "Coming to America". He adores iced mocha, as well ( calls it his sexual chocolate) and absolutely has the hots for Anthony Mackie. :D That was my little nod to my friend

It was all over but the clean up work. A huge alien tech weapons bust had been made in Midtown Manhattan, the contraband confiscated and most of the criminals -a Hydra splinter cell- apprehended.  Time to chase down the stragglers.  That task was up to the three-man team of Captain America, the Falcon, and the Winter Soldier.

"Team Cap, head over to fifty-third off Jackson," Sam called out over the comms,  "Redwing spotted the last seven hostiles near Schein And Lobell's attorney's office.  Headed that way now."

Steve swore under his breath and gestured at Bucky to follow him.  "Repeat, Sam.  You said Schein and Lobell's?"  

"Yeah, yeah, I know.  Better move it," the Falcon confirmed as he soared overhead.

"C'mon, Buck, gotta hurry," Steve urged.

Puzzled at his friend's burst of urgency, Bucky nodded and turned to follow.  "What would Hydra want with a lawyer's office?"

"It's not the lawyers they're after, pal.  It's a couple of doors down that concerns me, and we need them alive for questioning," came the terse reply.

Shrugging, Bucky picked up his pace, and within moments both soldiers rounded the corner of Fifty-third Avenue.   Steve came to a sudden stop, almost causing his teammate to crash into him from behind just as the Falcon dropped down beside them.

"What the hell?"  Bucky drew his pistol as they surveyed the scene before them: Five Hydra operatives in black tactical gear were lying on the street, unmoving.  He approached and nudged them one by one with the toe of his boot.  

"Dead. One shot each.  Sniper's accuracy," he ascertained.

The Captain immediately whirled around, scanning the rooftops for shooters.  "You see anyone above as you were flying in, Sam?"

"Nah, man.  Complete silence.   It's Forty-six.  This... this could be bad, Cap.  Seven is not a small number when we're talking about trained Hydra agents." he warned, gazing at the shop in front of which the agents were lying. Kitty's Sweets.

"Oh boy," Steve exhaled loudly, hanging his head. "Get ready."  He squared his shoulders and faced the shop, Sam shaking his head and grinning at his side.

Bucky readied himself and his weapon.  Just as he opened his mouth to acknowledge the order, the huge plate glass window of the shopfront exploded outward, slivers spraying in all directions, followed by the body of another Hydra operative.

Captain America led the charge, shield raised, and the three Avengers burst into the bakery.  As expected, the interior of the once adorable sweet shop was a mess;  pastel-painted tables and chairs broken and scattered all over the dining space, cash register and displays overturned, glass and bits of baked goods and blood splattered everywhere.

In the midst of the chaos was a strong, curvy woman in an adorable lavender and baby pink striped retro waitress uniform - short and ruffled, complete with an apron- standing over the seventh Hydra agent, her right hand fisted in his tactical vest and the left landing backhand after backhand.

She. Was. Pissed.

"Do you have ANY idea," she snarled, "how long it took me to decorate six dozen gourmet cupcakes?" SLAP! "It takes patience!" SLAP.  "Talent!" SLAP. "Energy! "SLAP.  "Did I mention talent?" SLAP SLAP.  "And YOU, you fucker.... you busted in here and tried to stab me." SLAP.  "Then your clumsy ass slammed into the case and smashed' SLAP "them" SLAP "ALL!"

Seething, chest heaving with, she swung her right arm behind her, forefinger raised in a "Be right with you" gesture toward the three Avengers, then dropped hard onto one knee on the agent's crotch.  As he gasped and cried out from the pain, she landed a hard punch to his nose.  Smirking at the sound of crunching bone, she stood and turned to face the newcomers.

"Okay, fellahs.  This one is still in decent enough shape to take in for questioning."

Bucky, mouth agape, muttered to no one in particular, "God, I love that in a woman."

Sam side-eyed him and smirked.  "What, Passion?"

The long-haired soldier shook his head. "Violence."

Steve stepped toward her and nodded. "Agent Forty-six, always a pleasure."

Forty-six chuckled and smoothed back her wildly disheveled hair.  Generous cupid's bow lips turned up and her lashes fluttered coquettishly. "It could be a pleasure.  I mean, I've offered but you never take me up on it."

Steve blushed and cleared his throat.   "Wanna fill us in on the details?" he deflected, gesturing to the last intact table in the shop, eyes looking anywhere but at her.

"Sure thing, Cap.  Might as well feed y'all while I'm at it.  There's still a bunch of pastries that didn't get ruined. Afraid I only have iced coffee though.  Fuc--- uh, jerks broke the coffee pot and espresso machine.  What'll you boys have?" She rattled on as she busied herself with washing her hands, back to business as if she hadn't just bested seven Hydra operatives without suffering so much as a scratch.

"Big ol' iced mocha. Dark and super sweet, just like me," Sam called out with a grin.

Forty-six laughed.  "Sammy, you know in my head I call that drink 'Sexual Chocolate'."

Sam guffawed.  “Hey, babygirl, we’ve gotta get together and watch that movie again!”  He received an enthusiastic nod and an "It's a date!" in reply.

Bucky's eyes went saucer-wide and Steve facepalmed at the nickname.

"Iced Americano for you, mon Capitan?  And you, Mr. Hotness-who-has-not-been-introduced-to-me-yet, what would you like?" As she offered, she turned to face the men and Bucky got his first real look at Agent Forty-six. Even with her hair a mess and makeup smeared, he was instantly smitten, causing him to lose the ability to speak when he locked eyes with her.

"Aw, kitty cat got your tongue, handsome?" she teased, "How about a large iced, extra creamy, lots of sugar, whipped cream with caramel drizzled all over the top?  Sticky sweet and it'll keep you awake for hours," she offered with a wide-eyed innocent smile.

Bucky swallowed hard and nodded.

"Yep, that's exactly what Frosty needs.  Been ages since he had something sweet," Sam confirmed, fighting back laughter.  

Steve glared at Same, then lay his head on the table and groaned.  "For the love of Pete, Forty-six.  Why are you like this?"

She rounded the counter with two trays piled impossibly high with food and drinks. As she placed the trays onto the table, she reached down and ruffled Steve's hair.  

"Well, Captain," she began in a throaty, sultry voice, "I've offered to be any way you want me, so it's your fault.  I'm just waiting for your...command."  She winked at Sam and Bucky and took a seat.

After a quick briefing on the altercation with Hydra, Forty-six pushed her chair back and regarded Bucky thoughtfully.  "So..." she began, leaning back and stretching tired muscles, “James Barnes, yeah? Winter Soldier, now Fist of the Avengers, super soldier, metal arm, best friend of Captain America?"

He found his voice long enough to reply with a quiet "yeah."

"Nice," she grinned, "So is there some sort of restriction in place to join the team?  'You must be this hot to enter', or what?  'The Earth's Panty-droppingest Heroes?  Jeezus-please us, Fury cornered the market on-"

"Forty-six, please," Steve interrupted.  He sighed and rubbed his temples before continuing. "Yes, this is James Barnes – Bucky, to his friends- and yes he is an active team member now.  No, there is no restriction.  You know that wouldn't be allowed, especially in this day and age."

She whistled.  "Look at you, all PC and stuff.  Honey, I was just yankin' your chain.  You know me.  I'll have all the required forms submitted before nine tonight, don't worry.  I'm a capable agent, despite how I might sound."   She stood and pushed the chair back into place.  "Great seeing you guys again.  Bucky, it's a pleasure to meet you.  I know you'll be a strong addition to the team." She graced him with a tight but genuine smile and moved to the stock room to check for supplies to board up the window.

Bucky regained his voice and senses after she left. "That's some dame.  She always like that?"

"Like what, flirty?" Sam grinned.  "Yeah, she's got a mouth on her, she's like Tony in that way, but she's more than capable. Nearly unstoppable in the field.  I've seen her accomplish some extraordinary feats, and if you need a marksman she's your woman."

Steve hummed in agreement.  "Yes, but she's got a quick temper, and that gets her saddled with the lower-end assignments.  Highest kill-count in SHIELD history... as you can probably tell by the bodies outside.  That makes her dangerous and a liability."

"Cap, she's more than competent and loyal to a fault," Sam reasoned.  "I'd be just as happy for her to have my back as one of you guys.  Give her a shot, man."

Heaving a defeated sigh, Steve stood.  "You're right.  I'll go talk to her."

Sam nodded.  "Good call."  Turning to Bucky, he smiled slyly and offered, "She's also single, Barnes.  Very available.  And in case you didn't notice, she's hot."

The soldier coughed and took a long drink of his iced coffee concoction.

Forty-six's rummaging around was interrupted by a throat clearing behind her.   Not bothering to turn around, she called over her shoulder, "I hope y'all will take home a couple of big boxes.  The baked goods will go stale and I hate for them to waste."

"I'm sorry."

She turned to see Steve wringing his hands, a penitent expression on his perfect face, his shoulders hunched and .drawn in.  It made the formidable Captain America look smaller and somehow quite vulnerable.

"I'm sorry I ran out of patience with you, Forty-six.  I'm still trying to balance duty and professionalism with basic... human instinct, I guess."  He hung his head and shifted from foot to foot.  "I'm not judging you for the things you say. I just can't process them quickly enough.  I respect you, very much," he paused and took a deep breath before exhaling slowly, controlled.  "Sometimes it's difficult to reconcile that respect with bawdy language and sexual innuendo."

As he stared at the floor and the tips of his ears turned bright pink, Forty-six smiled softly.  Heart melting for the Captain, she approached him and lifted his chin with a forefinger, searching his eyes with her own. "You're a good man, Steve Rogers.  I appreciate you." She placed a gentle kiss on his cheek, then turned back to

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

her task, missing the goofy grin on Steve's face.

He helped her carry the plywood to the front of the shop and the four made short work of boarding the shattered window as SHIELD agents removed the subdued Hydra operative.

"Well, that's that," she frowned as she dusted off her hands.  "Y'all want to take the boxed goods with you now, or do you want me to have them delivered to the tower?"

"Yes to all!" Sam cheered.  "You could just come back with us and crash there for a while.  I'm sure the team would love to see you."

Forty-six turned and entered the shop, muttering "Sure, sure they would."

Bucky shot Sam and Steve a look, to which Steve responded with a mouthed "tell you later."

A few minutes later, the four piled themselves and multiple boxes of baked goods into Forty-six's Jeep and were on their way to Avengers Tower. Sam reached over the seat and tugged her ridiculously cute uniform sleeve.   "You are keeping the outfit though, right?"  He winked at her in the rearview mirror.

She chuckled.  "Nah, I don't think these are my colors.  Besides, it makes my ass look fat.  I've gotta say, I'm looking forward to not having to get up at four in the morning to bake.  Another shi-  er, crummy gig in the books.  Wonder where Fury will send me next?" She pulled over in front of the Tower entrance and turned to grin at the guys.  "Home sweet home!  See y'all the next time I have to beat some ass.  Tell Tony I said 'hey', and nice to meet you, James."

The heroes said their goodbyes and made their way inside.

In the elevator, Sam broke the silence.  "Well, as run-ins with Forty-six go, that one was incredibly mild."

Bucky snorted.

"I'm serious!  The last time, there was a two-block wide explosion, a half-ton of gummy bears, and an ostrich. Then just when we thought the roof was gonna collapse on-"  Sam was interrupted by the elevator doors opening to reveal an agitated Tony Stark.

"I see bakery boxes.  Many bakery boxes," he gestured toward them with a wagging forefinger.  "What I do not see is coffee, and what else I do not see is my favorite baker. You three had the audacity not to bring Forty-six up here to visit her favorite genius?"  He stomped toward the common area as he ranted.

Sam and Steve chuckled as they dropped off the boxes of baked goods, then toward their rooms for showers, Bucky following suit, still puzzling over earlier events.

"Wait!” he shouted, "What happened to the gummy bears and the ostrich?"

There we go.  My first, very mild (in all ways) submission to Tumblr.  Anxiety is going to eat my face now.

[writingonjorvik]

Can We Discuss “Highly Requested Features?”

Ok, I’m not even going to put this under the cut because it doesn’t need one. Look, I’m not opposed to the content that was added today. I’ll repeat a point I’ve seen several times already about this; it’s a good foundation for future content. One, it means there’s not in engine functionality for instances, for stuff like player housing and even for instanced story quests, which seems like a popular request. Two, it means groups have been reworked which means new functionality can be brought to groups and how those work. All of what was added today is interesting and promising.

But SSO misused “High Requested Features” as a term.

Arguable, I can’t prove that this feature wasn’t requested, however, the fact that no one seems totally over the moon about this part of the update or that anyone was talking about it or even guessed that this might be it in any community I’ve looked at suggests that “Highly Requested” is an exaggeration. Not that the content is unwanted, but to suggest people are going to be celebrating this particular patch’s release I think is excessive and damages community relations.

There are two ways I can read this phrase being used. I can see this as the devs padding a relatively minor, on our end, addition to make it seem like a lot of people wanted it to defend a relative lack of current content. Which is dumb. The devs should be able to tell their players “Hey, this is the foundation for a much bigger series of features we’re going to add” and that be ok, because that’s what this is. I can also see this as a way to excuse SSO doing things disregarding player interests by using “high requested feature” as a way to pretend like they have the numbers to back this choice. Which is a dark way to look at it, but it’s not like SSO hasn’t lied about player submitted data before (AQH release, looking at you).

As far as we know, and I would like to believe, that SSO’s devs are using this for the former. And this isn’t the first time they’ve done this. But when SSO doesn’t back up their comments with evidence from the players, like polls or community feedback forums that we can see the results of, it’s hard to believe that a feature is really as “highly requested” as it appears.

Content added to SSO doesn’t need to be “highly requested” if it adds to the long term of the game. If it makes the lives of the devs better and the process of making SSO easier, then it does not matter if they content they put out is at the top of everyone’s “high requested” features list. Yeah, they should respond to players’ requests, like they do with horse breeds which are highly requested most of the time, but adding very passive functions shouldn’t be padded by acting like everyone was dying to invite their friends to their stables is not a good use of this phrase. It’s ok for updates to just be ok. They don’t need to be sugar coated for “angry fans who wanted XYZ,” because those people are going to be upset regardless. If it makes the game better in a passive way, that’s fine. It doesn’t need to be “highly requested.” It can just be a foundation for new mechanics, maybe building to something that is highly requested, like player housing.

But when SSO exaggerates an update as being “highly requested,” it mostly leads to let down. If you were part of any chat theorizing about what a “highly requested” feature might be, you were likely thinking of much bigger functions, like name changes, player housing, letting you demo horses, dressage, breeding, so on. Features that have been highly requested and are regularly discussed in the community. But for the update to turn around and be rather meh, there’s some balloon deflation there. Even if it wasn’t on your list, as long as it was something you saw people talking about, most people can get excited about an idea. But when you see no one talking about it, there’s just disappointment it wasn’t more or something else.

It’s summer. If you’ve been playing SSO for more than a few of those you know summer is pretty slow because everyone is on vacation because Sweden actually takes care of its employees. And that’s fine. There’s still content. ANd this can be a big deal for SSO. It can be the foundation for better systems. But none of that was communicated. We were told there was a “highly requested” update releasing today and I haven’t spoken to anyone where that’s been the case. If they wanted to hype this up as much as “highly requested” suggests, then they should have talked about how this will help the game grow in the future. But they don’t. And so I’m just led to wonder if the devs know what “highly requested” means.

I said I wasn’t going to do a read more, but if you clicked on this, hey! Hope I made my point clearly. Content good, phrasing bad.In the interest of actually find out what “highly requested” features you guys want, I made another poll. This one is probably not going to be super easy to organize, but I’ll try. This survey has you write in 5 features you want to see. No guiding, just write in 5 features you would want to see and I’ll share which ones are the most popular. You only gotta write one, but you can go up to 5, so yeah. Keep ‘em short and separate and you can enter more than once if you think of more.

https://forms.gle/BbmFrUYDx6ffjiSF9

[improvidence318]

IT IS TIME

To talk about my survey results!

Remember when I asked y’all to fill out a brief survey about 2 months ago? I was hoping to get enough submissions to equate to about 10% of my follower count. I got 71 people who took the survey (thanks everyone!) which is pretty close to 10% of my follower count when I first posted the survey.

Anyways, on to the results!

This is why I really really appreciate reblogs more than likes. I’ve noticed a direct correlation between reblogs and new followers. 

I’m glad that my current content output seems to place me ahead of other audio blogs. I don’t follow any other audio blogs myself, and I’m not really an audiophile, so I have limited knowledge of how others handle their stuff.

Cranking out lots of short content seems to help me stand out. I try to be consistent in my upload rate, or else I run the risk of slacking off and falling behind. Gotta move forward!

Speaking of moving forward...

And of course the only one of these I’ve done so far is Twitch game streams, the least voted-on choice...

If I had more than 1-3 people tuning in, freestyle voice streams could become a thing. I’ll probably send out another survey regarding the best time to do that if I really commit to it. 

I’ve had a few people ask if I do fanfiction readings. The answer is “Yes, but unless it’s My Immortal (I do that for free), you gotta commission me to read it.” As a general rule, if what you’re asking me to do is personalized, or would run longer than about 2 minutes, you should probably commission it instead of request it. 

As for RP LPs, well, I’m hoping to get something started related to that soon. Stay tuned...

I thought maybe my page could use improvement, but it seems like I’m really the only one that has issues with it.

I appreciate everyone being as honest as possible about this. 

A lot of the answers were something along the lines of “your voice acting” or “Daddy Sans gets me hot”. Which seems par for the course around here. I wouldn’t want it any other way. A lot of people, in PMs and in the survey, seem bashful to admit they get turned on by the voices I do. Don’t be! Dangerous and sexy is specifically the kind of voice I’m delivering. 

There was also mention that they appreciated the consistency of posts, and how most of them are short and easy to listen to. That’s definitely what I strive for, so hooray, it’s working as intended!

Some people also noted they like the casual, more goofy approach to the voices and how I run things, and I’m glad that has its appeal. IRL I’m much more like UT Sans than MF Sans. The sexy funny is here to stay.

There was also praise for the various other voices I do. I really do try to think of other characters I can do audios for, but 90% of my stuff is still Sans for a number of reasons. I already have his character figured out quite thoroughly, he doesn’t need any heavy sound editing (unlike, say, Optimus), and he’s definitely why people are here in the first place. 

Mercifully, the vast majority of responses were “Nothing, you’re good”. There were a few responses I’d like to respond to directly:

If you know any better themes, please please PLEASE PM me and let me know. I’m fine with paying for one if it improves the experience.

I’d love to add a tag index or something, but Tumblr really sucks at page customization. If anyone can offer formatting assistance, I’d be ever so grateful

I know... I have requests from months ago still sitting in my inbox. There are a number of different reasons I haven’t completed your request yet. Could be that I just haven’t figured out a good way to deliver on it. It might be that they’d take longer than normal and I haven’t taken to time to really work on it. On average I get more requests per day (2-5) than what I post per day (1), so a backlog is inevitable.

Audios are tricky to price. When you commission an art piece you usually get charged by the amount of characters, complexity of the background, and the overall detail of the art. Those are easier to standardize than audios. Or maybe it’s because I’m still inexperienced at pricing. Either way, I’ll try to get a commission page up once I get better at it. In the meantime, feel free to PM me and I’ll try to work with you on it. If you have a budget, let me know.

A lot of people suggested I use way more tags, which I have since started doing. Thankfully Xkit has autotaggers that makes it so much easier to keep track of everything. 

Some suggested using Twitter, which I already do. 

A lot of you recommended being more involved on Youtube, a la ProZD. It’s definitely something I’m considering. Youtube is much easier to share around than Tumblr pages. 

Comic dubs were also suggested. I enjoy dubbing comics, but it’s hard for me to find good ones to dub. I’m not nearly as into Undertale and its associated AUs as all of you are, and I don’t really follow UT artists. If you guys find comics you think I could voice, please submit them to me!

About what I expected. 

I was a bit surprised that I had a few male followers. This is why I try to keep my audios as gender-neutral as possible. 

And that concludes my analysis of the survey results. I really, truly do appreciate everyone who took the time to give their opinions about my blog. I want to improve y’all’s experience and also improve my own output and follower base. My end goal is to get professional voice acting roles, and my work here helps me move forward towards that goal. When I first started this blog, I had no idea how it would develop. I’m so glad I started, and I only wish I’d started sooner.

Love y’all!

[orbemnews]

Robinhood’s Existential Moment ‘The entire community is outraged’ Robinhood had to raise $1 billion from investors yesterday to help it cover cash demands during the week’s trading frenzy, while traders and lawmakers sharply criticized the online broker for halting some trading in Reddit-touted stocks. In short: The consequences of the mania in GameStop, AMC and other stocks are becoming more concrete — and, in Robinhood’s case, more serious. The surge in trading forced Robinhood to raise cash. As waves of investors poured into the markets, Wall Street’s central clearing hub, the Depository Trust and Clearing Corporation, demanded billions more in collateral from brokerages to shield it from the volatility. Robinhood, which had already drawn millions from its credit lines to meet margin requirements, turned to existing investors for additional capital so it wouldn’t have to impose further limits on customer trades. A more detailed explanation: Brokerages post money with the D.T.C.C. to cover customers’ transactions while they wait for the trades to settle. With such a big surge in trading, the clearing hub wanted more assurance: “It’s the D.T.C.C. saying ‘This stuff is just too risky,’ ” said the Bloomberg Intelligence analyst Larry Tabb. Other online brokerages also cited the D.T.C.C. as a factor in decisions to impose trading restrictions. Robinhood faces a loss of confidence from customers. After becoming the venue of choice for small investors, the app risks alienating a core customer base — and feelings of betrayal over the trading limits may be harder to address than annoyance over technical outages. (Small groups of protesters gathered in New York and outside Robinhood’s Bay Area headquarters yesterday.) “Brokers are now ‘protecting’ customers as a facade so that they can appease their institutional backers,” one individual trader told Bloomberg. “The entire community is outraged.” It’s also feeling the heat from Washington. An unlikely mix of lawmakers — including Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and Senator Ted Cruz — accused Robinhood of imposing trading limits to help out hedge funds caught out by the retail trading frenzy. The heads of the Senate Banking Committee and the House Financial Services Committee called for hearings. It poses a big challenge for Robinhood’s policy team, including its chief legal officer, Dan Gallagher, a former S.E.C. commissioner. Does the populism angle hold up? Though many traders and commentators — including The Times’s Kevin Roose — see the GameStop mania in part as an internet-enabled pushback against Wall Street elites, financial bigwigs like the investment firm Silver Lake were among the big winners.“Are you entirely sure there aren’t wealthy people on both sides?” Senator Elizabeth Warren asked yesterday. Lost amid the noise: What about the companies at the center of all this? AMC, for one, is reportedly considering selling shares to take advantage of the huge run-up in its stock, further adding to its cash reserves while many of its theaters remain closed because of the pandemic. What happens next? We have some thoughts: Does Robinhood’s business model need a rethink? It couldn’t raise capital by increasing transaction fees, because it doesn’t have any. The company benefits from more trading — but more trading also means it needs more capital. Going public will help give the company more sources of financing, but this kind of frenzy may emerge again and again. Will lawmakers and regulators step in, perhaps with higher margin requirements for brokerages to prevent similar runs in the future? That might make trading costlier for users, which would be politically awkward. How will Wall Street reckon with the rise of social media as a market force? Hedge funds are already poring through Reddit and Twitter for the next GameStop, but short-sellers in particular may now be at risk of ruin by masses of small traders who have found a new strategy. HERE’S WHAT’S HAPPENING G.M. announces the end of petroleum-powered vehicles. The automaker said it would sell only zero-emission cars and trucks by 2035, an ambitious goal that could reshape both the automotive and oil and gas industries. Democrats prepare to pass stimulus measures without Republican support. Biden administration officials and Congressional leaders signaled that they would start the process for approving the measures through reconciliation, as new data showed that the economic recovery faltered late last year. WeWork weighs going public via a SPAC. The office-space company has held talks with blank-check funds to join the public markets, DealBook has learned, confirming a report in The Wall Street Journal. It is also considering raising more money from private-market investors, which may be more likely. Another Covid-19 vaccine shows promise, except against a new strain. Early trial data on a treatment by Novavax showed nearly 90 percent efficacy, but less than 50 percent against a coronavirus variant in South Africa. Facebook might sue Apple, escalating tensions between the tech giants. Facebook has considered formally accusing Apple of anticompetitive actions in its App Store. Facebook’s Mark Zuckerberg and Apple’s Tim Cook continue to take shots at each other over their diametrically opposed privacy practices and business models. Two more thoughts on GameStop On the media: After the financial crisis in 2008, the financial news media was blamed for not blowing the whistle — or not blowing it loudly enough — before the collapse. It made many of us acutely aware of our responsibility to look out for the so-called little guy. The GameStop situation turns this on its head: The investors piling into the company’s shares say they don’t want — or need — protection. In fact, they argue that by urging caution, the media is actually protecting hedge funds and the Wall Street establishment. There is no question the “system” could be changed to level the playing field. Which “side” is the media supposed to be on? The answer, simply, is the truth. On short sellers: Traders identified GameStop as ripe for a “short squeeze” rally because of a peculiar development: more than 100 percent of its float was sold short. That is, more of its shares were out on loan to investors than were available to trade. (The average S&P 500 company has less than 4 percent of its float sold short.) Is it something nefarious? Not really: There’s a technical answer, but put simply, betting against GameStop became so popular that chains of traders were lending shares that they had already borrowed to others who also wanted to short the stock. So, when someone in the chain asks for their stock back, it can set off a messy cascade of buying and selling as the shares make their way back to their original owner. The stocks at the center of this week’s mania all had high “short interest,” amplifying the scramble to buy shares to return to lenders before they got even more expensive. “Look, before I begin my prepared remarks, I want to preemptively state that we will not be commenting nor answering questions on the recent activity in our stock price.” — Doug Parker, the C.E.O. of American Airlines, at the start of the company’s earnings call on a torrid day for its stock price. Facebook’s ‘Supreme Court’ makes its first rulings Facebook’s Oversight Board issued its first round of decisions yesterday, overturning four of five decisions in which the company removed posts that it said had violated policies on hate speech and violence. So far, 20,000 cases have been submitted for review by the board, which is made up 20 journalists, scholars and former officials and judges. What does it mean for Donald Trump’s ban? The board is still debating its highest-profile case: Facebook’s suspending the former president’s account after the Jan. 6 Capitol riots. This week’s decisions could bode well for Mr. Trump, but as our colleague Shira Ovide writes, that eventual ruling will have bigger stakes: “Should Facebook continue to give world leaders more leeway than the rest of us?” For more about the oversight board, the co-chairs wrote an Op-Ed for The Times. Davos goes virtual It’s the final day of the World Economic Forum, normally held this time of year in the exclusive Alpine resort of Davos, Switzerland. The gathering of the global elite went virtual because of the pandemic, so the C.E.O.s and heads of state who gather amid snow-capped mountains beamed in from their offices and living rooms instead. What caught our eye this week: Climate change is a perennial conversation topic at Davos, but this year businesses appear to be taking more concrete action to address it. More than 60 corporate chiefs committed to a set of environmental, social and governance measures that they will disclose for shareholders and other stakeholders. Specific, standardized measurements of things like environmental impact are in short supply, but influential investors like Larry Fink of BlackRock have been pushing for more disclosures, and threatening to divest from companies that aren’t forthcoming on E.S.G. metrics. John Kerry, the White House’s special envoy for climate change, also made a high-profile appeal to business leaders to prepare for “a zero emissions future”; Bill Gates talked carbon markets; and a new book by the forum’s founder, Klaus Schwab, and its head of communications, Peter Vanham, frames it in the context of “stakeholder capitalism.” Catch up on all the sessions at the forum’s live blog: Here’s the session with Mr. Kerry; here’s one on digital inclusion moderated by Andrew; and for something different, here’s a chat with the star architect David Adjaye. THE SPEED READ Deals Shares in the survey software company Qualtrics jumped 40 percent in its New York trading debut yesterday, after pricing its I.P.O. above expectations, while the boot brand Dr. Martens rose by 20 percent in early trading in London today, after its I.P.O. priced at the upper end of its range. (Reuters) The cryptocurrency exchange Coinbase said it planned to go public through a direct listing. (Bloomberg) The gaming company Roblox delayed its I.P.O. after the S.E.C. raised questions about how the company recognizes revenue. (Reuters) Politics and policy President Biden’s nominee for attorney general, Merrick Garland, reportedly favors a former aide, the Kirkland & Ellis litigator Susan Davies, to lead the Justice Department’s antitrust division. (The American Prospect) During his presidential campaign, Mr. Biden warned family members about their business dealings, telling one of his brothers, “For Christ’s sake, watch yourself.” (Politico) Tech Elon Musk news: SpaceX is said to be close to raising new funds at a valuation above $60 billion, and after he changed his Twitter bio to one word, “bitcoin,” the price of the cryptocurrency soared. (Business Insider, CoinDesk) SoftBank reportedly approved $600 million in loans to four top executives to let them buy shares in the company, potentially netting them a huge windfall. (FT) Best of the rest McKinsey is reportedly in talks to settle investigations by state attorneys general over advice it gave to opioid manufacturers. (WSJ) It isn’t just GameStop: the joke cryptocurrency Dogecoin is having a moment, thanks to Reddit. (CNBC) We’d like your feedback! Please email thoughts and suggestions to dealbook@nytimes.com. Source link Orbem News #Existential #Moment #Robinhoods