#more advice encouraged

[liam-summers]

3.08 | “Lovers Walk”

[ANGEL. The Reason. 😭]

[hrokkall]

HOW TO PIN YOUR INSECTS:

Position limbs into desired arrangement and pin in place

Maintain eye contact

Pin should pass through the center of the thorax

Move slowly; lest the divine light leak out along with the ichor

Wait for the embers to die.

Wait for the embers to reignite.

[thoselovelythings]

[iloveyou-writers]

You had an idea at 3am?

Write it down.

Not sure if you'll like it in the morning when you get up?

Write it down anyway.

Even if you wake up being like 'what is this nonsense,' there is a possibility that rereading your idea may spark another awesome idea.

Don't lose amazing future WIPs because you thought the idea wasn't good enough to write down.

Hell, you may come back 6 months down the line and realize that the idea would be really cool if you tweaked this detail and took that one out.

Never underestimate the power of a 3am writing idea.

[lunarharp]

shirahama-sensei reminded me she has a thing for the teacher from pokemon s/v so i randomly went off on an au where qifrey is the professor. etc

[cerise-on-top]

Fluff alphabet for Nikolai? You’re one of the few who write for him and he’s my favorite character! Thank you so much!!

Hey there! Really? There aren't many people who write for him? That's such a shame, he's literally such a cool character and I adore him so much! Also, sorry I wrote this relatively late, but life got inbetween! But I wrote it now!

Fluff Alphabet for Nikolai

A ctivities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?

If it was up to him, then you’d be spending most of your days at home, within the safety of your walls. However, he loves doing whatever it is you love. You wanna go on a hike? You wanna have a boxing match with him? You wanna start a book club? Everything is game for him as long as you’re down for it, or make the suggestion. He is the adaptable sort of person who can do just about anything, especially if he gets to spend time with you and make you happy.

B eauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?

The fact that you can stay with someone like him. Nikolai can be a very cocky man, he doesn’t particularly hide his occasional cruelty either. Sure, he is calm and collected as well, but he could see why you would want to leave him for someone more “proper”. You could likely get anyone in the world, and yet you decide to stay with him? He, who has killed the guilty and innocent alike? Who makes fun of the police whenever he can? It takes a special kind of crazy to want to be with someone like that. He can appreciate that. 

C omfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?

Since one of his abilities is that he can stay calm under any circumstance, he would likely calmly talk to you, try to talk some sense into you as well. His voice can be rather calm too when he wants it to be. He’ll be your voice of reason while getting you away from whatever may be upsetting you, shielding you from onlookers. When you’re sad he’ll offer some advice, or maybe some distraction, whichever you say you need more at the moment. His advice is actually pretty solid too, he’s been through a lot and isn’t the youngest anymore either.

D reams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?

He has a small country house in the middle of nowhere in Russia, and he’d love living there with you. No more soldier or mercenary business, just you and him living together there, disturbed by no one aside from the occasional bird chirping here and there. He’d chop the wood while you make him a lovely pie. It doesn’t need to be fancy, as long as he gets to spend his future with you, winding down from all the adrenaline he gets on a regular basis, he’s happy.

E qual - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?

Surprisingly, he tends to be more passive in the relationship. Though, he could go either way, but normally he just goes along with whatever it is you want. Sure, he can and will flirt with you occasionally, and if you’re on the more passive side then he’ll take charge, but other than that he just goes with the flow and lets you decide. If you can’t decide for whatever reason, then he will. But whatever makes you happiest he’ll do.

F ight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?

He would never raise his voice at you. It’s very hard to anger him in general, he usually believes he’s in the right anyway, which he usually is. He’s calm and collected at all times, but will be more factual with everything when he’s starting to get annoyed with you. However, he easily forgives, regardless of whether you apologize or not. Your relationship isn’t so weak that something like this should make it falter.

G ratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?

Generally speaking, he knows what is and isn’t a given, and he knows to appreciate the things that aren’t. So yeah, he’s a pretty grateful man, even if it doesn’t seem like he’d show it very often. Nikolai knows that you cleaning the house from top to bottom, you cooking him a meal and giving him all the love he deserves and so much more isn’t a given, so he likes to show his gratitude through the small things, such as making sure to take in every new detail about you and always complimenting you, getting you the occasional gift as well. Something small but meaningful.

H onesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?

He runs a PMC, so naturally there are things he can’t tell you about. However, he does believe that secrecy kills a relationship. If it’s something he can talk about, he will. Although he won’t go into detail about how he tortured that man, he will give you constructive criticism on how you can improve your knitting. He’s not one for lying, you deserve to know just about everything. Isn’t the most open about his past, though.

I nspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?

I think Nikolai changed the most during his youth, so likely long before he met you. By the time you met he had already become who he is today. I don’t think anyone or anything could change him that significantly anymore, unless something truly terrible happened. He knows to take care of himself. However, I feel as though he could have become a bit kinder as a result of meeting you.

J ealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

He has faith in you to not leave him. Sure, he gets his spurts of jealousy, but he’s an adult, he doesn’t really act on it all that much. The only thing he really does when he’s jealous is talk over the other person to try and get your attention. He deals with it by either walking away from the situation or trying to get you away from the other person if he can. Again, he trusts you to not stray from him.

K iss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

He’s an attractive man, he likely had his fair share of lovers throughout his life, meaning he’s kissed plenty of times. When he was younger, he wasn’t a very good kisser, but he learned to adapt to the likes and dislikes of people. He could likely satisfy just about anyone with a few kisses these days. However, your first kiss with him would have beena a gentle one. He loved you even back then and was afraid of intimidating you. It was short, it was gentle, it was sweet.

L ove Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?

It wouldn’t be anything too fancy. He’d get you flowers, some chocolate or other sweets you like and invite you to a lake or something. And then he’d confess his feelings to you in a casual manner and ask you if you want to be with him. If you had said no then he would have made the offer of staying friends, at the very least.

M arriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?

On the one hand, he does want to get married, on the other he doesn’t want to subject you to all the danger he’s usually part of. I think it would take him an eternity to propose and then it would be something simple as well. He’d test the waters by asking you if you want to marry him first, the ring comes later. Not much changes when you’re married to him. It still feels rather casual, but there’s always the fact you’re bound by your vows now. He’ll make it his goal to relive his honeymoon with you by going on a vacation with you every once in a while.

N icknames - What do they call their s/o?

Милый/милая (my dear, darling), Любимый/любимая (loved one) and Солнышко (sunshine) are his go to. He’s not overly creative, but he sometimes also calls you by the names of cute little animals. Again, he’s more casual when it comes to things like this. More often than not, he calls you by your name. However, he’s not above using terms of endearment in your native language as well. He knows eight languages, and if yours isn’t among them then he’ll simply learn it.

O n Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?

It’s not obvious at all when he’s in love. Sure, he likes to spend more time with you, but he won’t prioritize you when he’s busy. Sometimes he’ll give you an expensive gift. Knowing fully well you’ll want to repay him, he’ll simply ask for your company and that you’ll pay for the coffee on your little date. He knows how to get what he wants, and if he wants a small outing with you then he’ll get it. He doesn’t express his feelings freely at first, but he’ll call and text you more often to check up on you. That’s about it, he has his feelings in check otherwise.

P DA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?

He doesn’t really brag about his relationship. He only really mentions you here and there in front of his closest friends. The entire world doesn’t need to know about you, so he keeps you to himself for the most part. However, he doesn’t really mind PDA all that much. Sure, he won’t really initiate it, but if you really wanna kiss him, then you can just go for it. Same if you just wanna cuddle up to him under his jacket. He doesn’t really mind that sort of thing.

Q uirk - Some random ability they have that’s beneficial in a relationship.

The fact that he can stay cool under any circumstance. Even when you’re out to get on his nerves like no other he can stay almost completely neutral. It’s really hard to piss him off, and even then he thinks more rationally than he normally would. He really doesn’t let his emotions get the better of him when he’s in a negative situation. You’ll never have him yell at you, only tell you facts. He can also argue for you in case someone is being mean to you.

R omance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?

He’s not really a romantic at heart. Sure, there’s the occasional gesture. He’ll gift you plushies, he’ll take you on a walk where you can watch the sunrise together, he’ll also cuddle you on the couch. However, he will also train you, he will take you to his shooting range, you will be sparring with him from time to time. Although it may not seem like much, that’s also another “romantic” aspect of his. He wants you to be able to defend yourself in an emergency, so he’ll make all of it seem more romantic than it really is. Will take you out for dinner, though. He can make some really mean pirozhki.

S upport - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?

Naturally. He’s been through so much, he likely has some piece of advice for just about any situation. And even when he can’t give you any advice, he can help you out by either listening to your woes or by paying for whatever it is you need. He’ll always be there for you. Nikolai is a very loyal man once you’ve gotten on his good side. He would never let anyone he’s close with down, be it a friend or a lover. You can bet he’ll do just about anything for you.

T hrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?

It entirely depends on what you want. He can honestly go either way. Sure, he might not want to spice his love life up by committing a murder with you every day, even if he could, but maybe going on a vacation every once in a while would be nice. While he may be down to try almost everything at least once, he doesn’t mind staying stagnant in that regard either. It’s really up to you. However, he will make you eat certain new foods he thinks you might like. He’s a great cook, his meals are always top notch.

U nderstanding - How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?

He’s not a very empathetic person. Sure, he can usually tell what someone is thinking, but that doesn’t mean he cares enough about most people to feel what they’re feeling. Even in a relationship he isn’t the most emphatic person, he barely has any empathy for anyone. However, he can easily take notice of even the smallest of changes in your behavior and act accordingly. To him, life is more logical than anything else, not so much emotional. So he will act in accordance with the signs you give him and do whatever he has learned works for you. Either that or he will listen to his intuition. His intuition is great.

V alue - How important is the relationship to them? What is it’s worth in comparison to other things in their life?

His relationship with you is on par with the friendship he has with Price and Laswell. He knows that you can’t live off of love and air your entire life, so he keeps close contact with both of them as well. While you could not bribe him out of the relationship if you tried, he does sometimes think about cutting ties with you to keep you safe. He wouldn’t go through with it, but he does value a lot of things in life. Any relationship is important to him, whether it be romantic or platonic. So yeah, you wanting him to cut ties with Price or Laswell would immediately raise a red flag with him. He wouldn’t give up either of them either, please understand that. 

W ild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.

He runs so very hot. Out of all the main characters, he has the highest body temperature. Nikolai is very comfortable to cuddle with in winter. He doesn’t mind cuddling with you either, if that’s what you want. But just so you know, he’s a tall man and could likely wrap himself around you almost entirely. He’s also very strong, so he could make you feel very protected as well. That’s one of his favorite things to do, making you feel safe and secure. The more you melt into him, the more you trust him to protect you, the better. He’s a nightmare to cuddle with in summer, though.

X OXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?

On his own accord he’s kind of like a cat. He prefers to watch you and be in the same room as you to show affection. Once he’s figured out your style of affection, he’ll act in accordance to that. You wanna cuddle? Sure. You wanna be together in the same room? Naturally. You wanna be mushy together and exchange loving words? Yeah, he can do that too, even if he isn’t the most emotional person. Generally speaking, he likes kissing and cuddling, but he doesn’t need to be all over you all the time. The occasional kiss and cuddle is alright, but too much skin contact has the potential to annoy him.

Y earning - How will they cope when they’re missing their partner?

Since he knows that being distracted on the battlefield could lead to him never seeing you again, he tends to not think about you. However, once he has some downtime he likes to replay some of the moments he shared with you. The time you accidentally hurt yourself breaking a mug as he patched you up or when you fell asleep in his arms, he thinks about those moments more often than he’d like to admit. He doesn’t really keep a memento of you, you’re not even on his phone’s background, but he remembers you well. Your smiles, your tears, the way you’d hug him so tightly when he’d come home. He just thinks about you and those thoughts lull him to sleep.

Z eal - Are they willing to go to great lengths for the relationship? If so, what kind of?

I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if he has killed for you several times already. To answer the question, yes. He’s killed for you, he’s broken the law several times for you. He runs his own PMC, he could technically go to war for you as well. And he would if someone were to take you away from him. He could likely destroy a small nation for you. While he won’t do it if you ask him to, if someone were to kidnap you, he would not hesitate to fight for you. Your safety is a priority of his, so he will do what he can to make sure you’re by his side, forever and always.

[uter-us]

radfem help !!

2 of my little cousins (14yrs and 15yrs) are both girls dating boys right now, and together we are coming up with a "dealbreaker list" of things they will never put up with from their bfs! and also we are including positives, like so they aren't just looking for the absence of bad things, but actual positive things

what do yall think are the most important things to add? (i put extra info in tags)

Thank you so much!!!

[transman-badass]

The thing I keep telling myself lately in regards to my writing is this:

if I'm not having fun, then what's the fucking point?

Stop worrying about publishing. Stop worrying about what people might think. Stop thinking about if your story will be a bestseller, if it will be hated, if anyone will read it at all.

Stop getting ahead of yourself. You're overthinking.

It's okay to have fun. You are supposed to have fun, you are supposed to enjoy the process, the effort, the work. Are there times that are less pleasant, less fun? Absolutely. But your favorite authors and heroes did not become the writers they are because they were grinding their teeth in agony with every word they wrote.

Let go of all the questions. It doesn't matter what people might think about your story. It doesn't matter if this story gets you an agent. It doesn't matter if this is the best story ever, or the worst, or most forgettable or whatever else you hope or fear it will be.

Let them go. Turn your mental focus away from them as best you can. Tell yourself, "my future self will deal with that when my present self is done".

Because none of those are relevant unless you finish the story. And you can't finish the story if you're worrying about the future.

Don't give up. You've got this. And if you haven't heard this today, I'm proud of you.

[bitchnojutsu]

here’s the thing. i’ve gotten in my own head. i feel like my fic ideas are too ambitious/bold for my skill level, specifically looking at writing sexy things. like i feel like if it’s gonna be weird conceptually it’s gotta be solid structurally, you know? but the little bit of smut i wrote like three(?) years ago makes me cringe (because i wrote it, and also i know it’s not totally amazing objectively, even though i published those short blurbs with the intent of revisiting/rewriting/expanding upon them at a later date) (also i’ll be so real, there’s not much irl inspo i can draw upon, if that wasn’t blatantly obvious) and i’m down to be self-indulgent and experimental but i also want to be proud of what i’ve written and hnnnnnnnnnngggggggg

[eggyolkguzzler]

Different anon, what if someone accidentally went past 24 hours? would they still be ok?

Yeesh- I mean, sometimes people fast way longer than 24 hours. Like, people with diabetes, I think. But I really wouldn't recommend it unless you talk to Dr. Harvey first!

I can understand if you're just forgetful. And I know a lot of people skip meals because they're too busy. But... Listen, if you don't eat, your body gets used to running on low fuel. You start to lose the ability to feel hungry. And trust me bro, it only gets worse from there...

A little bit of fasting can really help you out! But starving yourself for too long just... doesn't have any benefits at all.

But hey, don't beat yourself up! Forgetting to eat for a day doesn't mean you failed. You have every day ahead of you to improve!

If any of you guys need encouragement, you know where to find me. Whether you're working on weight loss or weight gain. I'll be here to hype you up!!

[sir-adamus]

Hobie’s response to being reminded about losing someone close to him by reacting with hostile dismissiveness makes sense

he sees this for exactly what it is - Miguel using that trauma to manipulate and control the other Spiders - and it pisses him off instead of letting the sadness over it override his judgment

[uncanny-tranny]

Hello there, I really enjoy scrolling through your blog and I hope you're doing well today. I've noticed a pattern in myself --- every time I get close to going on T, I back off and wait. Been years now, and I'm not sure what I'm waiting for anymore. I was wondering if you had any words for this? Does that feeling of "waiting until it gets bad enough" or "waiting for a sign" ever go away, or do I just have to take the leap of faith?

I think it might help if you see if there's a deeper reason for your hesitation. I'm absolutely not saying I don't believe you, I do, and sometimes, we can feel hesitancy without really... knowing why, until we explore.

When I say "explore," what I mean is see what you aren't so sure about with testosterone. I've seen so many people express that they fear "losing" parts of themself when they go on T, such as a singing voice. I think that the fear of losing something is one of the biggest reasons people tend to shy away from going on testosterone, which is why I definitely want to encourage you to see that exploration as an option. It isn't about forcing you to or away from testosterone but to see where you're at. I've found that people who actively sought out answers to inquiries like that tend to have a firmer desire about their transition because it demystifies the transition process.

Taking a leap of faith can work out, but for some, that's just not how their brains understand, conceptualize, and accept change - and that's okay. If it comes to the point where you do take a leap of faith, what I would like to encourage you to do is both have a good support system and care team and be very vigilant about where you're at, and documenting how you feel and respond to hormones. I think this can help some people because they're still sorting out how they feel, so they aren't bottling it up or feel ashamed about any of the process.

[chaesyoung]

manifested a 3p away in just over a month! in the past, i've had a lot of trouble manifesting 3ps away - it'd happen eventually, but it would take several months where i'd go back and forth wavering and wondering if it'd ever happen. this time, that still happened quite a bit, but i tried my best to stay in the state of the wish fulfilled while also working on myself and my confidence. i know, we hear it all the time, but self-concept is so important! during this time, i've been looking at some of my main beliefs about myself and working on deconstructing them to become healthier.

after this 3p popped up, as a combination of that and some other factors, i was genuinely in the worst mental state i've ever been in. i'd go part of the day knowing it'd be okay somehow, then part of it stressing over the 3p, then part of it wondering if things with my sp would really be meant to be, then i'd go to sleep imagining everything was okay with my sp while wondering if i was just lying to myself. rinse and repeat over and over. "realistically," with how much i was wavering, it probably shouldn't have manifested. that's where i think self-concept work really helped me, since i was working on giving the love i want to myself the best i can while also finding other things to pursue and enjoy. for example, if i didn't feel like washing my face before bed, i'd tell myself "i'm worth the effort" and do it anyway. i still wanted to be with my sp and have the 3p go away somehow, but i was also finding ways to enjoy myself and romanticize my life on my own.

another thing that helped me during this time was handing things over to the universe, which is really hard for me because of a) my insecurity-based tendency to want to have control over things, and b) the idea i've seen in a lot of loass spaces that we have complete control over our reality. if that idea works for you, that's awesome and i have nothing against that! in my situation, though, i found it made me beat myself up if something went "wrong" and i'd be stressing over little details. instead, i'd try to take a deep breath and say "the universe is handling it, all i need to do is know it'll happen eventually." i tried to trust more in divine timing and the idea that i'm being guided to my dream future no matter what the actual path might look like.

much longer post than i originally planned to make, but i hope this might be comforting to anyone who's overthinking their desire or doubting themselves for wavering/not having it instantly! you're not less of a manifestor or less powerful if your desires take some time to show up, and it doesn't mean they'll never show up. we all have our own paths and you're going to reach the things you want. just keep your head up and keep pushing even when it's tricky <3

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

,

[anaalnathrakhs]

btw my mom said it. she said it to me looking me in the eyes. i told her about how difficult it was for me to get through those family reunions, and she admitted it was very important to her, important enough that she was just going to do it anyway.

[radiotransmissionaac]

me: what if not having problems with mobility, making it up?

me @ me: how many times in your life before this week have you been consciously aware of your coordination, balance and gait when standing and walking?